#I decided to go into how he’s gay and she’s a beard and she’s the worst

[permrry]

.

[shaunashipman]

Eddie was definitely more queercoded than Buck. He is written as a repressed gay man in comphet relationships. Buck's queercoding mostly consisted of one-off jokes while Eddie's has been baked into all of his romantic storylines. Also no one is saying he's gay because he treats women poorly. The reason he inadvertently hurts his partners is because he is trying to force himself into relationships that will never work. Calling that homophobic is laughable because so many gay men have dated women as beards which obviously ends up hurting the women. It's just a fact. It's honestly homophobic the way so many bucktommy shippers are obsessed with eddie being straight even when a multitude of gay people see themselves in him. Or does the gay male perspective only matter when in concerns tommy lol

ok, I wasn't even going to get into this. idc if you see eddie is queer, that's your prerogative. but you brought this into my inbox.

to start with, there are plenty of bucktommy shippers who also think eddie is gay. and the ones who don't are not obsessed with eddie being straight, we're just tired of it being touted as the only possible reading and if you don't get that then you're stupid. kind of like how they are with buddie

also buck's queercoding has not been one-off jokes, y'all just seem to think that queercoding that isn't angsty is being played for jokes.

but let's get into the queercoding of eddie

"baked into all his romantic storylines" all 3 of them? that gigantic number? let's go through them.

shannon. yes, only married because they got pregnant. but they got pregnant through having sex, which eddie was shown, multiple times, to enjoy having with shannon, a woman. she left him (not going deeply into her reasons, I've talked about what I think of shannn and her leaving) and eddie's response was to devote himself to being a father, then moved across country to the same place she was, implicitly because he wanted to make up with her, but couldn't work up the courage until forced. when he did contact her, his initial refusal to let her see chris was both because he didn't yet trust her again with chris and because he didn't trust her with himself. while deciding whether or not to let her see chris, they were fucking like bunnies. again, that eddie was shown very much to enjoy, to the point that it is explicitly something he fantasized about in s7. after he let her see chris again, we didn't see as much of them, but what we did see was the actions of a normal couple. then she said she thought she was pregnant and he re-proposed. could it be that eddie simply felt trapped again? sure. but if that were the case he could have simply not began a relationship with her again to start with. he had the excuse ready baked in of "we need to focus on chris". then she turned out not to be pregnant, asked for a divorce and died, and he's spent the last 5-15 years mourning and pining for her.

ana. initially met as a teacher at chris' school who eddie had an immediate crush on. didn't go anywhere that season because she was chris' teacher. when they met again eddie's only hesitance to date her was framed as trauma from shannon divorcing him and dying. then we get to s5 and his panic attack. which most took as being about the "ready-made family". I took as, the shop worker called ana chris' mom, chris' mom died, ana could die, cue panic attack. the only part of this relationship that I can remotely see as being indicative of sexual repression is how the break up went, which could also just be a result of his slow breakdown which had already been cooking for several months.

marisol. who eddie perused after he got out of the date his tía set up, talked to some people and decided he was ready to date again. then we didn't really see them again until the nun episode. also the point where so many ignored the majority of the ep just because eddie was talking about religion. also basically the only time religion has come up for eddie in more than passing, despite religious repression supposedly playing a large role in his queercoding. again, a relationship where eddie is shown to enthusiastically enjoy sex with women. his sudden hesitance to have sex with marisol was completely about her having been a nun, which if anything is about the madonna/whore complex, not about eddie's sexuality. and then eddie fucks up the relationship due to the shannon!doppler, because he's still in love with shannon NOT because he's closeted.

so where is the plethora of queercoding in all his relationships? and if all his relationships are comphet, but he's never shown an attraction to men (and he hasn't, not objectively, because him "looking" at buck is not attraction) why is him being gay the only option? what about asexual? or aromantic? or even bisexual, since as I've pointed out, he clearly enjoys sex with women.

also his poor treatment of the women he dates can very easily be traced to him growing up in a very patriarchal household, where dad works to the detriment of not knowing his kids, mom's job is to take care of the kids, and he as the only boy was delegated to the "man of the house" at a very young age. an extremely common family dynamic, and one that despite working on in other aspects, eddie clearly still ascribes to in some way, by how he's continuously looking for a wife and a mother, not a partner. could be that he's gay, could be that he was raised in a misogynistic world.

If you see him as gay, great, good for you. but to insist that that's the only correct view is wrong. and since you ended with an "lol" showing how seriously you take this, I'm gonna end with this

ryan, the one who plays eddie, has said multiple times now that eddie is heterosexual. and before you start, oliver at no point ever referred to buck as straight before the bisexual arc so 🤷‍♀️

[toxycodone]

genital headcannons for :

Falin

Laios

Chilchuck

Toshiro

Namari

Venery

Thistle

Falin definitely has a penis, I think hers is probably the biggest out of Laios' party? Namari definitely packs, I would let her peg me for hours omg..... she could ruin me. Ermmm.. Chilchuck probably has a big cock for a halfling, he's fucking TALL !!!! bro has to be packing something. Also shaved or not shaved... Namari body hair everywhere OMG I need her to shove my face into her bush I need to smell her. Sorry I'm being a little too straight (? I am a man but this feels gay idk) ... anyway chil, Namari, and Falin are unshaved, full bush down there. I feel like Toshiro at his best keeps everything trimmed !! but when he can't even shave his face when he's at his lowest... bro wouldn't have the energy to take care of it. Hmm and then Laios could be either way..?? We know he shaves his face and keeps his hair short bc he doesn't wanna look like his dad, but would he even think of shaving his pubes????? Idk. Wait is this a weird thing to think about? Oh wait do elves grow body hair??? I feel like thistle would have some body hair if it's possible, I feel like they can't... unless my DND 5e knowledge is getting mixed with uhmmm. What is it called... DUNGEON MESHI I think I'm starting to dissociate I'm going to stop typing lmfao

FALIN - GIRLCOCK. Whether you are a trans!Falin fan or what, in my eyes after the red dragon thing. She gets girl cock. I can see this as either like, a penis or like T-dick. Whatever you decide. But whatever it is her situation is definitely unique. Also she got a bush frfr

Laios - COCK. (I am also a trans!Laios fan so like. He can have anything in his pants it don’t matter imma eat it but usually when I write him it’s cock). His dick is as painfully average as he is. Not crazy length wise but he got some girth to it. I’m thinking like. 5 inches frfr. Maybe 6 but that’s generous imo. No manscaping just vibes he’s full bush down there. And body hair on his chest/legs/arms and around his groin

Chilchuck - OKAY. His dick is probably like more similar to an average tallman penis. Which is remarkable considering he’s like half their size. I’m gonna give him four inches and he’s breaking other halflings in half with it but with other races. He’s learned how to use it. Chilchuck is a real one. Light on body hair, but would keep it tidy when he’s not in the dungeon (I think he likes to manscape and like. Appreciate himself in the mirror lol)

Toshiro - He is ALL length and so embarrassed about it. (Def afraid he’s gonna hurt you.) He could learn to love it with a supportive partner though. I think for a while he’s rocking bush because like, yknow. That stuff isn’t really talked about…but he figured it out for himself that when he takes his time and shaves and stuff after a anything or whatever he’ll do some trimming down there because he likes the neatness. I like to think he grows body hair but it’s not super dark for some reason (besides on his face people get jealous at the beard he can grow)

Namari - SHE IS JUST LIKE ME I GET HER VIBE SO WHAT IM SAYING HERE IS CANON: SHE HAS CRAZY PUSS BUT IS ALWAYS ROCKING THE STRAP. Namari doesn’t let anyone fuck her hole unless they’re in a committed relationship (she does not play about that either if you insert anything in her sex is over). Insane with the strap too. She’s someone I can genuinely see breaking the bed with her strokes. Also she’s got body hair for days. Like other Dwarf women she can grow a beard too but she usually shaves. (Namari with stubble…I’m bout to go feral.)

Venery - Started off with a human vagina. Now it’s some weird mix between that + hyena + dragon cock. I think he’s canonically intersex due to the ancient magic. But he’s happy about it. Also UHHHHHH…..HE LAYS EGGS. JS.

Thistle - Okay Thistle is so trans to me I think he gives himself top surgery when he’s getting older with ancient magic. He leaves the downstairs area alone because he’s fine with just presenting masc that’s good enough for him. Very low body hair he just sits in the middle of gender ambiguous for REAL.

[bengiyo]

Wedding Plan: The Lesbians and the Closet Matter

It seems I find myself in the position of feeling the need to defend a MAME show. How did I get here? I haven’t been doing Stray Thoughts of Wedding Plan because I think MAME shows require too many caveats for me to write about off the cuff. However, I’ve been quietly impressed with the seriousness with which MAME has handled the decision Lom and Yiwa made to enter into a lavender marriage. More than anything, I want to talk about how important the lesbians are to this story and how much I like the execution of Lom as a closeted man. Finally, I want to talk about how Nuea is stronger than Lom, and has been the entire time.

Before we get into this, I want to lay out some of the MAME caveats. It’s clear that she has a fascination with taboo and what it means to cross a line. Even Ae has a hard time listening to Pete say no to him when it’s about keeping Ae away from him. I went into this show knowing that Sailom was going to overstep boundaries with Nuea because that’s who MAME is. What I focused on is what lines were being crossed and how Nuea would respond to them.

Yiwa’s Choices Matter

As of episode 6 we’ve been given the backstory of how long Lom and Yiwa have been in this scenario, where they properly came out to each other when they were 15 and 13 respectively. They opted to use each other as beards to keep their families off their backs, and Yiwa hopes to use her marriage with Lom to gain independence from her family. What I love so much about Yiwa and Marine is they understand that the path they’ve collectively chosen is hard for all of them. Marine doesn’t get to love and be loved openly, and this also forces Lom to sacrifice for them. I love that they encourage him to be open with Namnuea because they care about him and want him to have love too. I love that their relationship is important to both of them, and that they do love each other.

What’s so important for me about Lom’s relationship with Yiwa is he is completely loyal to Yiwa. He’s locked himself in a place where he won’t jeopardize her. Despite her encouragement about Nuea, he won’t make a choice that he worries will expose or endanger her. It’s fascinating to me that we have a gay man experiencing romantic angst because of loyalty to a woman that he loves, and it’s about protecting her from homophobia and not some twisted sense of infidelity.

Yiwa being able to rely on Lom and Marine is what makes her decision to run away with Marine so special for me at the end of episode 6. After the confrontation Marine had with Yiwa’s mom, Yiwa rushed back to their home and fully expected Marine to possibly be gone. Instead, she found her sleeping and recovering in their bed, waiting for her. Yiwa knew in that moment that she couldn’t sit idle and allow this kind of cruelty to continue. Since she’s the one who proposed the idea of the lavender marriage, I think it’s significant that she’s the one opting out of it to run off.

Sailom is Not Evil. He’s Just Closeted.

Now, let’s talk about Sailom. I posted yesterday to see what people were especially bothered about with Lom and got useful responses from @williamrikers and @twig-tea. I felt much of what twig-tea felt at the beginning of the show. Like the two of them, I went into this show worried about the way Lom’s wealth would allow him to push Namnuea around. I was worried about the way Lom would impact his finances and professional reputation. What has surprised me with this show is the slow reveal that Lom is the one in a more precarious position than Namuea.

Regarding his job, Namnuea does this job because he loves it and because he’s good at it. His angst with Nuea is that he’s flirting with him instead of handling his business for his wedding. We also learn that Nuea’s feelings for Lom are not a problem for his boss or his colleagues. When the worst finally happens, they give him the time and space he needs and hold the line on protecting him from Lom. When he decides to be closeted with Lom, they watch his back and make sure the two of them don’t get caught. It’s clear that regardless of whatever else Lom may have been up to with his money, it wasn’t going to impact Namnuea’s role professionally too much by episode 6.

Lom doesn’t have that. He’s trapped in the closet, and he has a closeted man’s brain. He describes one of the most classic cases of The Knowing that I’ve ever seen. He tells us he’s just a normal person who realized early that he didn’t like women and that he should keep that knowledge to himself. He’s under a lot of family pressure. The only friend he has in this is also suffering, and they’ve come up with a plan to help each other, but their overbearing mothers want to continue to surveil them. He is wrong to put Nuea what he did, but I understand how he ends up making those decisions.

As I’ve explained before, I lived in the closet for a very long time. When you’re living in a state of hypervigilance like that it alters the way you see the world. Sure, Lom should just approach Namnuea like a normal person, but Namnuea is a Known Gay and visibly queer. Visible queers are so much stronger than a lot of us who could hide and pass because the ones who survived and maybe even thrived developed a protective coating to deal with the constant public perception of their queerness.

From the inside of the closet, you need plausible deniability for everything you do in case you get called out. Hiring Namnuea gives him easy excuses to see him. Being a difficult client gives him a reason to make Namnuea see him away from work or in private. This is all NOT GOOD, but I understand it because I lived it.

What I respect about Lom is that he doesn’t presume that Namnuea should put up with his shit, and he never asks Namnuea for the impossible: to closet himself for Yiwa.

Namnuea is SO Gay and I Love Him

First, I just want to gush about the fact that Namnuea is not a gym gay and loves food. Sure Pak Naphat is fit and well cared for, but I like that Nuea feels like he enjoys creature comforts. It’s Nuea’s ability to love things earnestly that draws Sailom to him. He’s not putting on a performance for others except that which is necessary to manage their event. It’s this ability to love things so earnestly that also makes Namnuea so strong.

Regarding the power imbalance, the most important thing about Namnuea and Lom is that Lom is closeted and Nuea is not. The truth cannot harm Namnuea. He has no reason to lie to anyone. He can tell his boss that he’s having a professional conflict because he’s in love with the groom and that doesn’t become a huge blow up. He can tell his mom that he messed up and slept with the groom of a wedding he’s supposed to be planning, and she will console him and reassure him. When Lom rushes to Nuea’s family’s home to reconcile with him, his family will close ranks around him, and his pregnant cousin will try to throw hands with Lom.

Namnuea is not taking any of Lom’s shit. He pushes back, and when things go to far he leaves. We saw clearly in episode 6 that Nuea can handle himself if a man is flirting with him and he doesn’t want it. Nuea has choices that Lom can’t even conceive of because of his family. Also, Namnuea’s family clearly has their own wealth. Nuea and his cousin Ryu are the beloved gay sons of a landed family with generations of wealth. Lom may command a lot of wealth, but Namnuea isn’t beholden to him.

This is once again where Yiwa and Marine are so important. Yiwa tells Nuea quite seriously that she and Lom love each other like siblings and that all of this is because he’s trying to help her, and Marine has an earnest conversation with Nuea as someone who’s on the outside of this family situation. Just like Sun helped Lom find a way to work with Nuea’s family, Marine is sharing her perspective with Nuea about the sincerity of these two closeted rich folks.

Also, let’s talk about that sex scene. I love that Nuea is allowed to want this. I love that it’s clear that Nuea has experience with sex. I also like that Lom has some experience, too! (You just know he and Prapai fucked when they were in England) I like that he’s allowed to have fun and tease Lom during sex.

I love that after they had sex the second time, Lom shares quite plainly that sex is also about closeness for him and that he wants to be more intimate with their address with each other. It’s in this moment that Nuea reveals that he’s willing to work through this situation with Lom. I loved this moment because you can see Lom trembling in awe of Nuea.

Onto the Final Arc!

Now that I’ve gotten all the praise out, let’s talk about MAME. There are teasers for the next episode that Lom will be drinking from a flask and putting eye drops in. I am not keen on how Lom’s substance issues might blow up in what could be a finale or penultimate episode, but what I am excited for seeing what Yiwa facing down their families means for all of them.

MAME seems to like unnecessary nonsense at the end of her stories. Even if I appreciated much of LITA, Rain and Sky both being kidnapped as the final major complication of their stories was not fun for me and is part of why I haven’t felt the urge to rewatch or show them to Emily. I am hoping that we don’t have to suffer some ridiculous nonsense like that at the end of this show when Yiwa choosing not to continue with this sham marriage is more than enough.

[flower-boi16]

It's funny that the hazbin fanbase has decided Stella is evil and abusive and that despite nothing in canon suggesting it, that she also hates Octavia.

And its funny because as a child of divorce, she seems to me more like a mother furious that her husband is abandoning her daughter for a sexual fling with a man who doesn't even care about him. Like she's accepted that he's gay and that he's probably had male lovers before during their relationship and that she's his beard but now he's asking for a divorce so he can be with a man who doesn't even want him.

Like she knew about his thing with Blitzo and let it slide because he was still there for Octavia and it didn't really affect her but now hes going to traumatize their daughter for no other reason than his own selfish desires.

Hell, throwing all that out the window, maybe shes furious because she's scared. We don't know any goetia lore (thanks Viv) and since they seem to function like old European royalty, maybe Stella and Octavia will be punished or disowned or even killed because Stolas divorcing her means she loses her social standing, power and worth. Maybe they'll be thrown to the streets and have to fend for themselves without any money, friends or places to go, with sinners and hellborns who might want them dead around every corner.

Either way, Stella just. She comes off as a mother to me. A mother who hurts for her daughter, a mother who wants what's best for her, a mother who's scared for her, a mother who sees that her child needs her father and is repeatedly, constantly and intentionally cast aside for a man who wouldn't care at all about her father if he wasn't holding something over his head.

Sorry this is so long lol

I think the reason why people think that she hates Octavia is because the Stella we have right now is already an incredibly one-note asshole. The show itself never bothered giving any nuance to her character so why would the fans? That being said, I wish we got to actually know her relationship with Octavia.

Does she care about Octavia? Does she love Octavia? Or does she not give two shits about Octavia? We don't know.

And I don't think we ever will. It just sucks seeing how little nuance Stella has as a character, the show made her into a one-note abuser just to make Stolas look more sympathetic and so it can use her as a scapegoat for his flaws.

[clovenhoofedjester]

jellicle lineups; part 4/4

I FINALLY FINISHED THESE

grizabella | 🌃 🥀 🍂

i really wanted to mix revival and older replica for this one. the thigh-high boots, sparkly, tasseled dress, and generally the wig are all revival inspired, but the curly fur stays and the makeup is old because i really do like the very dramatic, gothic grizabella looks. her coat is also heavily 2019 inspired with the length and stripey purple fabric

i also was not sure how i wanted to do her hair other than it covering one eye (SHOUTOUT TO THE FANART I SAW WHICH HAD THAT. I CANNOT REMEMBER THE URL) esp the color so i did a gradient of light grey to dark brown, which i REALLY liked ! it also helped me decide that shed be chocolate smoke instead of a tabby

idk. ijust like her

i very much want to emphasize the "proud" and "indomitable" of her character in my portrayal of her; think betty buckley. i think shed be 61 in human years.

jennyanydots | ⏰ 🧶 👠

HER DESIGN... is very similar to her replica one because.... i really like it. very heavy emphasis in how her makeup is sometimes done with the HUGE lower lashes and squiggles. she also gets a cute little pink nose and blue eyeshadow

very 2019 inspired also. the hat, tasseled jumpsuit and bejeweled tap shoes stay ...... but i did want to give her the vest and collar from 2019. i just like that. shes also fat because yes

she remains sweet and nice yes. but i think warsaw was onto something when they made her Like That. shed be 56 in human years

jellylorum | 🎨 💐 👒

i ORIGINALLY drew her design a month and a half ago with the headcanon that shes gus' caretaker but bro. that jellylorum & asparagus jr. & gus family angst potential was too great. so i redid her as looking closer to gus. :3

idk why but i decided to go with a 1940s inspired formal look for her.... i quite like the hat and think it helps her to stand out, so i'm comfortable in that decision. her fur design is also mostly replica inspired. enjoy her neapolitan ice cream makeup too

she also gets a pink nose and her collar from the 2019 version. idk why the collars went so hard in that movie

i LOVE one of her 3 words being practical... yes, she is THE practical cat. i think shed be 59 in human years

bustopher jones | 🌹 🤍 🍛

VERY replica inspired.... with notes of other productions. opera populaire had full glasses bustopher which i liked. an older makeup look also had stripes which i also thought looked nice (and makes him look more related to mistoffelees) ! there are also multiple bustopher designs that have the moustache and beard 2 for 1 dealio..... and decided to incorporate that as well

he also gets the fishbone hanky crevat thing and a fishbone brooch. i almost made his rose white but i liked the contrast of the red. enough that i decided to give him lipstick too . and youd best believe that he has a giant fucking pipe that he smokes out of

i love the idea of him being the older generations' tugger in his time. i believe it. i think hed be like 55 in human years

skimbleshanks | 🚂 🎆 ⏳

I COULDNT RESIST BASING HIM OF THE MOVVIEEEEEE im not sorry that was peak skimble. the whistle and chains, the MATCHING conductor hat and pants, the moustache, the tap shoes..... truly, it was too good. my only regret was that i couldnt show the suspenders in this design because i wanted to keep the vest

i did keep the makeup/fur pattern very similar to his replica design though. idk. its just good. emphasis on the brown in his tail, the brown of his clothes, and the bell

anyone else get handsome gay silver fox vibes from him? anyway [being rushed out the door] i think hed be 56 in human years

asparagus jr. | 🧷 🎲 ⛲

lets go babey asparagus jr. inclusion ! i Really struggled with the clothes because i wanted to include the weird yarn poncho but didnt want to make him look hippyish (hippies are cool it just wasnt the vibe i was going for).... so it is reincarnated as this strange tassel-y scarf shawl thing. idk

he also gets a collar similar to jellylorum's because i like the idea of them living in the same house :^3. his makeup is also pretty different from how it appeared in the 98 version because i wasnt really feeling it. i like stripes. so stripes he shall get

hes also wearing a corset thing. idk what my propensity for designing men with a slightly feminine touch says about me (IM A FEMININE QUEER MAN)

not much notes on his personality other than i think he really looks up to his father (enough that he took on his more dignified name). hed be 57 in human years

gus | 📖 🌌 🔭

MUH OLD MAN... i love him. very much based on a bunch of different replica designs for him. he gets a beard and sideburns because i think i really do love the costumes w facial hair, and i think it just fits. he also gets glasses

he gets the coat and handkerchief (now a scarf) that typically hides the growltiger costume... which has a crisp formal outfit underneath. maybe he takes the coat off during his number to signify having moments of clarity and humor during his song

i do think in my interpretation hes well enough to joke around during his number and play the rumpus cat but like. damn you can tell this cat is old. hed be like 93 in human years

old deuteronomy | 🌕 🍮 ⭐

i have fully abandoned replica deut. say hello to haute couture resplendent transgender old deuteronomy. fit with a gigantic white coat, velvet dress, and gigantic fluffy hat. and yes, she did have 99 wives

she also gets the pendant that she was drawn with in the concept art for the 2d animated movie.... what was up w/ that....

ANYWAY YEAH UH. shes very different from the replica deut and other nonrep deuts mostly thanks to judi dench, with her saying that her version of deut was a transgender woman, and her complaining about not looking regal enough in the movie. here you go girly. the nose freckles/dots from some replica makeup get to stay though

she gets a lot of design notes from her children. the grey from munkustrap, macavitys white eyelashes, eye and mouth makeup, and tuggers cheek heart. shes also a light grey to kind of reflect her appearance in 2019

not much to add here other than i love her. i think she would be 88 in human years

AND THERE YOU GO. AHHHHHHH ITS DONE

[thecoolerliauditore]

TOXIC JIZZIE????????? PLEASE SPEAK KING FOR I AM BOUND TO HEAR

aye sire if you ask I am obligated to indulge.

To start off I do think "toxic" is not really the word I'd use, but their relationship certainly isn't ideal either. To get meta for a second I think it's the impact of this being a ship dictated by the CCs (as in, we are married irl so our characters should be too) rather than by the fandom (where ships form from interactions and stuff we actually see in-game) so, in the insane world of "interpretation", weird things happen with Jizzie in-universe where it essentially feels like the characters are together ot of some default obligation rather than as a choice they both actively make.

I'm going to be using the word "performative" a lot during this which I think makes enough sense when you look at how most of Jizzie interactions are very literally purposefully performed through youtube videos and such.

I'm also someone who very much does not have the highest opinion overall of romance as a concept so a lot of what I read is going to be based off of that. I'm a biased human being or whatever.

Essentially, I believe a lot of Jizzie's interactions feel like they're out of some sort of obligation or to fit into predetermined roles, comedic or otherwise, instead of coming off as genuine.

Examples off the top of my head are Lizzie trying to "seduce" Joel in Last Life to secure an ally, their shotgun wedding in esmp1 and the sort of sitcom-esque humour structure they sometimes follow in streams and such (the one I remember most clearly is Lizzie hitting Joel during the Decked Out guests stream, which is treated as a haha wife hitting husband moment) (there was also the time when Joel indirectly implied he was calling his wife a "ball and chain" in the Life: The Game stream, although we're getting very dubiously canon here - I personally see it as applicable but. shrugs)

This isn't to say that there is no genuine connection there, they certainly do care about eachother and, for the most part, aren't actively making eachother worse -- some of their cutest moments, to me, are their panicked "I love you" exchange after they encased the Scottage in lava in Last Life and Joel being the only one who remembered Lizzie's party in Secret Life.

Lizzie and Joel also rarely talk about eachother in an admiring or personal way, Joel specifically usually only mentions his "wife" when disputing accusations of him being in love with any of the various men he's "obsessed" with.

This becomes weirder in series like esmp1, where the first time Lizzie mentions Joel at all is her declaration that she has decided to marry him (not because she is "in love" or anything like that, she simply states that she wants to marry him) so you just kind of have to fill in the gaps between videos with your imagination or accept that the characters are just. Insane. I think comparing the way esmp1 Joel talks about Lizzie vs talks about Jimmy would be an interesting experiment to conduct in regard to this.

To top it off in terms of dubious sourcing for in-character headcanons, I think the performative aspects of Jizzie are most apparent when you look at how Joel often jokes about how Lizzie will get mad at him for flirting with Jimmy and other men, whilst Lizzie has shown time and time again she really could not physically care less. It's always kind of confused me when people depict Lizzie as ready to beat the shit out of Joel when he acts affectionate with other men, when her reactions in the traffic series usually just boil down to this:

TO ME: What Jizzie is, to me, is a pair of platonic best friends who have gotten married because. You're a boy, I'm a girl, that's what we should do. Their marriage isn't hurting them but it also isn't what they think it is.

Joel specifically I've always headcanoned as gay and essentially using Lizzie as a beard but not hiding it very well.

The romance may be purely obligatory and performative, but that doesn't mean they don't love eachother.

[thelunarbar]

How romantic sex on a school bus. Well ig just making out but my point still stands. And Ik it’s a dream but she’s all like ooh ok and I’m just like girl no. Make him take you to a bed at least. 

I love watching the way stiles opinion of Derek changes over time esp given that Derek doesn’t make a great first impression(not that stiles really did either but Derek’s was worse)

“Ate it?”

“Raw?”

“No you stopped to bake in a little werewolf oven.”

Scott’s hair is sooooooooo bad 😭

Also forgot how much I hate this teacher(biology or math maybe? Idk) he’s annoying

This may very well be the only time stiles tells Scott not to cancel a date. 

Danny deserves more love 

Lydia’s thing of acting dumb is really annoying like if he doesn’t want you unless you’re stupid you’re better off without him girl

Stiles reaction to Scott asking Allison about their hanging out with Jackson and Lydia

Jackson is such an asshole but Ik I end up liking him more later on

Of all things to lie about; your bowling skills???

Gotta love stiles needing to know if he’s attractive to gay guys(the answer is yes. Just ask Derek 😜)

Ngl I’ve never been sure how I feel abt deaton bc he’s like kinda helpful sometimes but also super weird more often than not

I fucking adore Melissa McCall 

Dude I tried for literal months(tho without rewatching bc I didn’t wanna do that at the time) to figure out where the pic of Derek standing behind broken glass came from and it’s from ep three when the police officer and then Scott show up the hale house 

I feel like rains too much for this show being set in California 

Derek is so nonchalant about Scott’s freak out I love it

“Why is this starting to feel like you’re Batman and I’m Robin? I don’t wanna be Robin all the time.”

“Nobody’s Batman and Robin any of the time.”

“Not even some of the time?” I love this lil convo and esp this last line bc stiles sounds so sad abt it 

Seriously why is the lighting so damn dark all the time even when I have the brightness on my screen turned all the way up and to my recollection it only gets worse

Scott and his fucking one track mind 

Yikes Allison’s closet is so bad all like boho chic and sequiny

Again a parent walking in without knocking 

I mean at least he acknowledged he forgot to knock but like teenage girl who could’ve been like changing or smth jeez

Love that he’s clearly getting ready to go out and they decide to sneak out before he leaves 

Man I wanna go bowling I haven’t bowled in so long (related even if it doesn’t seem like it, Jackson Lydia Allison and Scott go bowling)

Jackson’s laugh is so obviously fake and it’s so obnoxious 🤮

I can appreciate that being werewolf didn’t make him good at everything(just most things) 

I love love love Derek’s car 

Why does Chris argent wash Derek’s windshield for him??? Oh yes very intimidating good job Chris 

I can’t wait for argent to grow a beard he looks so much better with it 

Breaking the window on Derek’s car was so unnecessary and rude 

Ofc now Scott is great at bowling 

Lydia using Scott to make Jackson jealous is so annoying 

Ah innuendo 

“How do you cheat at bowling?”

“I don’t know, but you did.” But for real Jackson how does someone cheat at bowling 

And Derek’s being a creep again cmon man no wonder people don’t like you when this is the impression you always give 

Call a code? You have to specify which one Melissa. I’m not even a nurse and I know that 

Yay another cringey make out scene 

“Do either of you even play baseball?”

I love that they’re both super honest and just say no when she asks if they care there’s a police enforced curfew

Scott’s angry voice is not great 

Derek’s echoy voice thing wtf is that?

Love that Scott’s first thought is to try to get Derek arrested, again, for smth he didn’t do 

Ooh jump the whole staircase he’s so cool guys you don’t even know 

Ooh he’s losing the jacket things are getting serious 

The noise while he shifted was gross and not necessary 

Also I’m pretty sure they change his shifted makeup look later on bc he doesn’t look how I remember 

Love the choice of Destroya by MCR for this totally pointless fight between Scott and Derek tho 

I mean I say fight but it’s more like Derek beating the snot out of Scott 

and now we have the rational conversation after punching each other 

Oh now you give him answers after you beat the crap out of him

How come we never really discuss the fact that Scott is part of Peter’s pack? At least until he becomes an alpha himself

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 3/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007

2008 – Jake

                Flight school.

                Four years at USNA and now he’s back in Texas, the familiarity seeping into him like a homecoming and part of him cannot believe he made it into flight school. Not that he’ll let anyone else think he had any doubt, but he is inwardly fist pumping, outwardly trying to pretend it’s no big deal. He doesn’t care if it comes off smug, he does feel a little smug, that he obviously good enough to have been selected. Damn it feels good. And also such a relief.

              �� He’s good enough.

                He wants to share it with Nick. Doesn’t of course. While he trusts Nick with pretty much every little piece of vulnerability when it’s related to his sexuality and experience in that arena, his career is shaping up to be another huge part of his identity and he doesn’t need help or guidance from a guy on a website on how to best work on this aspect of his life. He feels like he’s got this one. After a few months though he decides to share, in a vague way, because he’s been getting comments from his instructors.

                Approval.

                He’s doing well.

>>You ever accomplish something that people didn’t think you could do?

>>That even you maybe didn’t think you could do?

>>HA.

>>Yes.

>>Feels fucking amazing to prove them wrong.

                Jake grins at the screen, wants to tell him about how amazing it is, being in the air. How much he loves it, the rush of the pressure pushing him back into the seat as he takes off. The

>>I got into my first choice of programme. So yeah.

>>Does feel pretty good.

>>Well done. Proud of you.

>>Thanks.

>>Think you maybe need to believe in yourself more.

>>Maybe.

>>My parents didn’t.

>>Don’t.

                He hasn’t talked about his parents with Nick. Talking about your parents generally doesn’t come up when your jerking off with another guy online, but they talk about a lot of different stuff now and it fits with this right now. He feels like Nick might get it.

>>I came out to them and they kicked me out.

>>Oh shit. I’m sorry.

>>I mean, it’s not a competition but my parents are dead so I can understand that feeling of loss I guess? Like they should be around to support me, but they aren’t.

>>Sucks more for you I think. They’re alive and are just bigots.

>>I was lucky to already have a place to go.

>>I’m extra proud of you.

                Pensacola is a different beast than boat school, everyone seems to be a little smug that they made the cut to be there, and Jake lets himself absorb the culture. He tries sleeping with a woman only to find that he can apparently have worse sexual experiences than his first time with a man, and of course he finds himself messaging Nick.

>>Bad sex with a man is still preferable than bad sex with a woman.

>>You give in to peer pressure and hook up huh?

>>How did you know?

>>Been there, done that. Got the tshirt.

>>As a gay man I have to tell you that even bad sex with a man rates above mediocre sex with a woman.

>>Why do people care so much where you want to stick your dick?

>>I like that rhyme. And I have no fucking clue. Mystery. It’s not like gay people haven’t always existed.

>>I’ve got a friend, female friend, who knows I’m gay, and she let’s me use her as a beard sometimes. Everyone thinks we have an on-again off-again fuck-buddies type thing going on.

>>So you’re still not out to people.

>>Nope. Would make work impossible so I just –

>>Hide in plain sight.

>>Huh. I wonder if I could get one of my friends to cover for me.

>>A lot less women in the military. Good luck I guess?

>>Well. I think one of my friends might just lie for me. Tell others that he saw me leaving with a hot chick or something. He’s the best wingman.

                He stares at the message, wishes he could call it back.

                Delete it.

                It’s too close to home.

                Wingman.

>>Definitely need a good wingman if you’re planning on cruising. You got bigger balls then me if you’re going to try and do it while you’re not on leave.

>>Are you sure that’s safe?

>>It’s not like they’re following me and putting cameras in rooms. I just need to be careful. Although so not worth it most of the time. But it would be kind of nice to have the option if it did present itself.

>>Yeah, I’m sure guys are just falling into your lap in the military.

>>I mean, they might be and I’m just not picking up the signs. They’re probably so repressed they wouldn’t be any good anyway.

>>I’ll leave that for you to find out.

>>Not sure if I should be wishing you luck or telling you to be careful.

                Jake isn’t sure either. He probably not going to risk it.

…            …            …

                It’s not always possible for them to have instant communication. He gets interrupted sometimes, or Nick isn’t available for days at a time, sometimes weeks, and his own schedule is erratic. However he’s always had time, made time, to chat with him since they found each other and he doesn’t have so many close friends that he can afford to ignore one.

                “What are you always doing on your laptop?” Javy asks and Jake feels like time freezes around him for a split second. Javy is one of the few people he’d count as a friend, his easy-going nature dealing with Jake’s prickliness effortlessly, seemingly patient and just waiting for Jake to come around. They were at USNA together and it wasn’t until they shared all their third- and second-class summers together that Jake had thought that maybe they could be friends.

                “Talking with a friend. He travels a lot.”

                He feels like it’s not actually a stretch of the truth, because he’s figured out that Nick moves around, the times he can talk inconsistent, meaning different times zones. He’s always assumed that Nick is American, but now he knows that the website they’re using to chat is actually based in England, and for all he knows Nick could be anywhere in the world.

>>Are you American?

>>Will you stop talking to me if I say no?

>>Of course not.

>>I’m shaking my head at you. You’re meant to be all patriotic being a member of our military. Shouldn’t be communicating with the enemy.

>>You just called it our military. Pretty sure you’re American.

>>Caught out. Yeah. I travelled around a lot as a kid. Tennessee, California, Virginia, Maryland and even Texas. Who knows, we could have walked past each other and never even known.

>>Yeah. We could have. That would be a weird coincidence.

                “You know, if you ever want to tell me something, I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”

                Jake’s head snaps up so fast he’s surprised there isn’t an accompanying sound.

                “What?”

                “Just. Uh. I know if there was something, you can’t tell me. But if you did, and I’m not asking you to, but if you did, I wouldn’t be letting anyone else know. No telling on my part, that is.”

                He blinks.

                Holy shit.

                That’s pretty much Javy saying he knows, or at least suspects, that Jake is… something other than straight.

                “Just, once second. Just let me say bye…”

>>I think I’m about to come out to a guy who is my best friend in real life, because you’re my best friend in not-real life, plus we have sex and I do not want to ever have sex with J, but uh… I think I might be sick.

>>I’ll talk to you soon.

                His conversation with Javy goes around in circles for a little bit, Javy not willing to ask outright, and Jake unprepared to speak the truth; terrified to voice it. Then Javy gets fed up, places his hands on Jake’s shoulders and just stares at him, expression serious.

                “Jake. You’re the closest thing I have to a brother. There is nothing, nothing,” he stresses, “that would make me stop loving you as my brother and best friend. So, if in some hypothetical world you felt brave enough to tell me that you were… gay, then it wouldn’t change anything for me. I just. I got your back no matter what okay?”

                Jake can’t form words, grabs Javy into a tight hug, he’s biting his lip so hard it hurts, might even be drawing blood and he nods.

                “Thank you.”

                “Any time man. You want to go shoot some pool?”

                Jake lets out a shaky breath and nods again.

                They spend several hours together, in which Javy seems to want to really impress upon Jake that nothing is going to change between them. He still uses his body to shove Jake out of the way when he shows Javy up at pool, still slaps his ass in a vain attempt to distract him while playing darts, grabs them beers and doesn’t pull his fingers away when they accidentally brush like Jake is somehow going to take that as a sign of something more. He can have friends that know and they won’t hate him.

                It’s a revelation.

…            …            …

>>How did it go?

>>I’m kind of worried about you.

>>Hope you haven’t done anything stupid.

>>Or been beaten up.

>>Dishonorable discharge.

>>Fuck Jas, please tell me you’re okay.

                Jake stares at the flood of messages and feels touched, but also a little hysterical, because none of those worse case scenarios are going to happen. He trusts Javy with his life, he can definitely trust him with knowing.

>>I’m okay. Sorry.

>>It was fine. He had pretty much guessed and we talked about it. He’s the best.

>>After you.

>>Glad to know I haven’t been replaced.

>>I appreciated you for the orgasms.

>>Oh. Okay. Putting me back in my place.

>>Prefer you to put me in my place.

>>Really now? You in the mood huh?

>>Yeah.

>>Fuck. This is awful timing. I’ve got to leave in like five minutes.

>>Can’t take care of you like I want to.

>>That’s okay. You can go out and do what you need to do, and while you’re out you can think about me, jerking off as I type out what I want to do to you.

>>Unfair.

>>Hot though.

>>Shit. I’ve really got to go. I look forward to reading whatever you leave me.

                Jake grins, a little nervous. He’s gotten better at this, anything he does regularly for a few years becomes better, but he doesn’t know if it’s good. Not without Nick offering his constant feedback. He always finds what they talk about together the best, but Nick has left him plenty of messages that are just descriptions of what he wants and likes that Jake wants to return the favor.

>>I want to go down on you, suck you off until you come. I want to kneel in front of you and take my time, learn the taste and smell of you. The texture of your skin under my tongue and fingers.

>>I want to do it while I’m in my uniform, because that feels taboo you know? Want you to rub the head of your dick over my lips.

>>Want you naked so I can touch everywhere.

>>I start off slow, a little cautious because I want you to fuck my face, but we’re going to need to build up to that, stretch out my mouth and throat a little, let me gets used to the feel of you in my mouth and throat.

>>I really want to do this. I’m hard just thinking about it. Like the idea of your hand on my head, just guiding me, think I’d enjoy fingernails scraping my head.

>>I want to do this with a guy with no condom, I want to taste the skin and salt. I want that trust as well.

>>I’d trust you.

2009

[variousqueerthings]

if one wants to read most of the (primary-tertiary) team members + affiliates as queer/queer adjacent, which I do for the heck of it:

obviously colin and trent are gay. will's just had his first threesome. keeley's been openly bi for awhile

ted's figuring himself out later in life, after thinking he was straight for a long time and now firmly divorced. higgins surprises everyone by casually mentioning he had a thing with a guy way back before he got married and of course his wife knows. jamie's been feeling more confident as a bisexual man (did keeley know is the question) once his dad is out of the picture. roy's been pushing that shit down for years, because he's slightly older than the rest of the players and his time was way more mired in homophobia than even today

isaac's questioning some things, mainly if all this dating and sex is really as interesting as the football. bumbercatch is unclear, since he just goes on a rant about how current-day sexuality and gender are constructs that need to be torn down and rebuilt in order to fight capitalist colonialist fascism. zoreaux/van damme mostly agrees with bumbercatch and high-fives him. montlaur says that he doesn't discriminate, because sex is a beautiful thing with any model. dani rojas semi-misunderstands montlaur and agrees with a "love is love, no matter who it is with" and he definitely had an intense homoerotic friendship in mexico (he relates to almodóvar films)

the rest of the team for the most part are unclear, due to the fact that most of them decide to give their queer credentials at the exact same time in response to colin's coming out, but the cacophony is cheerful

which leaves beard, rebecca, nate, and sam. I kind of like the idea of beard being someone who's confidently straight, because he went out and gave sex with men a go. he's also got that cis+ thing going for him, in that once he learned about trans theory he read all the books and was like. "hmm" for a couple of days, before going "yeah, bein a dude is good for me." rebecca is mostly straight, but if the right girl came along (the right girl would be butch + in her 40s-60s, because really what she's into is competency and a certain kind of masculinity) + she and sassy used to casually make out sometimes. nate is a flipping mess in terms of self-awareness, he could go any way at this point in his life. has he stared at a footballer for longer than is considered "strictly chill"? maybe, but he'll never tell

sam is straight, but he's the one who gets everyone's shit together and organises the pride work they do, because he's also the guy who inspires the rest of the team to get fucking organised (next to jamie)

jan maas is also straight. maybe. who knows - the rest of the team think, considering what was experienced in amsterdam - if any dutch people are straight...

[walrus150915]

Since you liked my rambling abt my random Nimona headcanons, here's part 2

- Starting off with the queen (rip), I think her white hair is actually a wig and she has some gorgeous greying tight curls under it

- There was a thingy "the Boldheart project" which was created when Bal got accepted into the Institute's knight program. "The project" followed his progress in training to figure out if commoners were able to train as good as nobles. If he completed the course successfully, the reform would be set (sry I like talking abt fantasy politics- yea, putting responsibility on a literal child to become a figure of "equality" is... Sure a strategy)

Let's stop with the politics amirite

- Ambrosius sings in the shower. First it was like quiet humming n stuff but when him and Bal start living together this guy's shower was akin to opera (hah- soap opera- get it-)

- Ambrosius would be a type of a rich dude who fantasizes about living on his own and providing for himself and having this sweet humble suburban way of life with his husband until he actually starts living this way (he's a literal nepo baby- cmon the habits will be there even if he tries being independent)

Ambrosius: Bal, I don't get why I keep burning my bread! It's the second time I fail!

Ballister: Practice makes perfect, darling

Ambrosius: But these KitKoters make it look so easy😭😭

- He catches up gradually tho. Bal is very understanding, Nimona is having a lot of fun with this

- Does fun include bullying Ambrosius for not knowing how to remove plants to the bigger pots?. Yea kinda

- Nimona's hanging out with the kingdom's kids from time to time. She goes out of her way to make them laugh or make them feel happy in general. It heals her inner child, in a way

- Even though she hangs out with them from a perspective of a cool older shapeshifting punk sibling, she still feels like their peer and can't help but transform into her child form sometimes

- idk I think Nimona shapeshifts into a child pretty often if she feels overwhelmed or emotionally devastated or just wants to be taken care of

- Ballister does take care of her

Wow this got sad fast. Anyway

- Ambrosius is left-handed but was forced to relearn because the perfect descendant of Gloreth cannot be left-handed, it's abnormal🤓

- Ballister can't help but go 😬 when either Ambrosius or Nimona take food with their left hand while eating. Yeah technically eating with his flesh hand would be easier for him. No he won't do that for the life of him (saying hi to all Muslims out there)

- Ballister decides to grow out a real beard and Nimona thinks it's the coolest thing ever to play with during their family quality time. Ambrosius also likes this change in his looks but for rather uh... gay different reasons😁

If we're talking about gay stuff I might just as well talk abt some Goldenheart hcs

- When they've only started dating Ballister had a really difficult time with the eye contact bc Ambrosius's loving gaze was too much to handle for him. He'd see how gentle and soft his eyes are and how they're filled with complete adoration to the top and just look away all blushy and smitten

- I think we as a fandom agree that Ambrosius's love language is arm chopping physical touch. Have you considered how important kisses can be to him in expressing his love tho

- Ambrosius LOVES kissing Ballister. He's probably kissed him everywhere if you think about it-

- But yea. He steals kisses from Bal as often as he can. Boo goes to work? Kiss him goodbye. Boo gets back? Kiss him goodhi - doesn't matter where😉

- His favorite place to kiss is probably Bal's neck bc he just likes nuzzling into it and making him all flustered

- Ballister loves kissing Ambrosius as well. His favorite thing ever is press kisses into Ambrosius's hair while they're lying down on the couch, Ambrosius's head on Ballister's chest n his arms around Ballister's torso. It makes them both feel very soft and warm and safe❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

- (teenage years) You know this type thing when kittens playfully fight each other and jump onto each other and bite and stuff? Yea that's teenage Goldenheart

- (a little older than teenage years) current sparring trend in the writer part of the fandom. That's it. You know damn well what I'm talking about

- At some point their private training sessions became the reason they succeeded in combat and got the highest of marks

Okay gay stuff is over

- Nimona has some pretty dark humor but draws the line at the things that could really trigger her or other people. Joking about burning everything down? Of course. Joking about... Well... The act 3 of the movie? Nope, never

- Nate Knight (do ya remember him?) does drag in his off-duty time haha RuPaul hi

- Ballister snores in his sleep bc he's a dad like that

- Ballister also is a type of dad to sleep on the couch while watching TV, and when you turn it off he wakes up and tells you he's been watching it this whole time

- Both Nimona and Ambrosius encourage Ballister to speak his mother tongue more often bc he used to hide it at the Institute

- Nimona scrunches her nose when she tries to remember things

- Ballister snaps his fingers while remembering stuff, especially in "Huh... What's the word for..." situations (he just like me fr)

- Nimona loves biting pencils and pens but sometimes she bites too hard and they break in half or something

- I feel like her stomach is iron. This punk can eat an eraser or swallow a knife or drink lava-hot water and all she'll do is burp maybe

- After leaving the Institute Ambrosius would have one hell of existential crisis. All he's dedicated his life to for all these years were lies and propaganda, what's the purpose of his life now? He tries out as many new things as he can - baking, painting, singing, playing musical instruments, photography, even science (with Bal's help ofc) my dude has tried it all. He sometimes felt worthless bc his life had no greater purpose but Bal and Nimona would reassure him that living happily with people who love him is more than enough and that you don't have to be the greatest person ever to live the best life. Find joy in the smallest of things n stuff😌

- Ballister has found ways to renovate his arm and made a bunch of new prosthetics for different purposes. I feel like he'd use a hook as well sometimes (as I've heard from the disabled community, hook is a very comfortable aid). No I'm not talking about that one post about his prosthetic's... renovations (😳) from the fan acc I follow

On this quite interesting note I'll end the post😁

Gn!!

[little-reader]

“The Son of A Monster” Ch. 2

Masterlist

Carl grimes x Male!Reader

Warnings; Death, blood, Slow-burn Sexual tension, Gay awakening (For both), Cursing, Negan is Readers dad, Enemies to lovers story. Fighting. Zombie apocalypse

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The people talked. They looked, and glared, but didn’t have the guts to say it to your face. And since you were there to watch Carl, you lived with rick. On the couch, that's the place you said you would sleep. He gave you a blanket and a pillow that night, not speaking at all.

You sighed and laid back on the pillow that was stiff and uncomfortable. You shifted. You shifted and shifted, and shifted before sighing and stung up, throwing your legs off of the couch and over. You took your shirt off and stood, cracking your neck. This is how you slept most of the time.

You walked on the porch, around this time it was cold outside, leaving your skin a breeze of chills. Sitting on the porch steps, you picked up your boot and reached inside, grabbing the pack of cigarettes. You grabbed the lighter from the other and lit the cigarette. You breathed in and closed your eyes, dropping your head and breathing out.

You hummed, looking at the sky. You sing a nursery rhyme your mother used to sing to you. She always told it to you, to get you to sleep, your panic attacks, anxiety, little things like that. Or she just sang it because she liked it... “There once was an ugly duckling…” You whispered. “With feathers so stubby and brown.” You smiled and sighed. Deciding not to finish the old song. You got up, walking barefoot around the neighborhood.

(Next)

That morning Simon picked you up to go to the hilltop. He was running the shots there now, and you were the picker. That means, you decided, not Simon. He ran the people, you ran him.  You walked into the old museum and got introduced to Gregory. Your people started to spread around, as Simon put his hands on his hips.

“Hello!” Gregory said. Nodding

“Hello, your Gregory.” He stated, looking at the man.

“Guity as charged.” He said, walking to the center of the room. “Welcome to hilltop Colony.”

You huffed, looking at the place and the decorations. “Thank you,” Simon said, going up the stairs halfway and looking around. “You, uh, make yourself at home,” Gregory said.

“This isn’t a social call.” He said, coming back down the stairs. Gregory stuttered, denying what Simon said. “We need to talk.” He said with a smile. “And it's getting a little claustrophobic in here, right?” Gregory awkwardly nodded. “Let's talk in your study, I want to see that painting.” He said, looking upstairs. “Can’t remember who told me about it, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter much anymore. Don’t know if you heard what happened.” He said

“W- What happened?” You rolled your eyes, waiting patiently for him to hurry with his conversation.

“Well, those people you used to deal with. Our brothers and sisters in arms and operation, well, they’ve been removed from the field of play.” Simon said, looking around. You watched Gregory pet his white beard and look confused. Now if that wasn’t sketchy. He knew something. Your head tilted as you thought. 

They both continued to talk in the study, you following behind him and the men outside the room.

You sat in the chair as Simon went about the painting and Gregory kissing his ass like it was black Friday.

You waited, as he kept talking, then stopped. “Simon, get to the point. I'm not in the mood for you blathering.” You said. Stabbing your knife on the table. “And get your feet out of my face.”

Gregory looked at you in school. “That’s a little rude for a kid.” He said, making you smile. 

Simon leaned forward, moving his feet and going over to you. “Ah, you have introduced ourselves to Y/n. He’s my boss. Or well, the head boss’s, Negan's kid.” He said, watching Gregory's face drop. “He’s your Negan for now, and I’m also Negan when he’s not here.”

You stood, “Get finished here, I’m taking dan’s bike.”

“Ah, dan bike is down, we have enough room in the Negan truck, but you’ll have to ride back with us.” You huffed and left, a few men trailing behind you as they carried things around. You walked around the walls, feeling the bark and wood on your fingertips. You leaned down, watching the wind blow slightly on the flowers. You picked the purple flower from the ground and shoved it in your pocket, leaving for the truck as they called for you.

You started driving, only to get stuck all night on the road because of a walker. You snuck to the back of the truck in the middle of the night, just to sleep and pick through the boxes for something to eat. You awoke with the sound of people whispering and the truck moving. You rubbed your eyes before squinting. “Hey-” Your mouth was instantly covered by a hand, you pushed the man away, looking Carl in the eyes… eye. 

“Hush!” 

“Shut up!” Carl said, pointing a knife at you. You yelled in the other man's hand, shoving him off of you before grabbing your knife and trying to grab him, he turned and threw you off your feet and onto the outside ground. “Fuck!” You yelled as you watched the truck speed away.

You were fucked. You checked the trucks around the place you were dropped, one you found that worked, but barely. You made it halfway before it broke down and ran the rest of the way. By the time you got there, there were men on the floor being cleaned up, and your father “Delt” With it, bullshit. 

You walked the stairs until you reached, what others called, the “Whore house”. You pushed open the door and stepped inside before looking around. “You bitch.” You said, pointing at him before stalking over to him, grabbing his collar, and ignoring your dad. 

“Now, now! He is a Guest!” He said, Looking at you strangely. 

“He kicked me out of your fuckin’ truck.” You said, wiping the dirt off your shirt, which was in fact ripped into shreds. “Look at this shit.” You mumbled, taking it off and throwing it at your dad.

“Go to the infirmary, get those looked at.” He said, looking over the room. “And take Iris with you.” Iris, a girl your age, was something Negan set up for you. She was your wife, and your dad insisted more but you refused, most of the girls here were either much younger or much older. Plus they weren’t your type. 

“C’mon babe,” you said, heading out the door with her following closely. She hung on your arm loosely as you passed by other saviors bowing their heads at you. Like the others, she wore a black dress to show off her body, and ballet flats along with see-through stockings with small pink flowers sown into them. 

You knocked on the doctor's door, coming in without a second thought. “Hey doc, I need you to check on a few of these cuts, Do you mind.” You didn’t need to ask, all you had to do was sit and wait. You looked over to Iris who was patiently waiting for you to finish and sat on the bench nearest to you. “I want you to come with me, there are nice people there, plus new friends.” You spoke up, looking her in the eye and she looked up hesitantly. “You can bring your things too, I might know someone you can stay with. Plus, you cont have to dress like that all the time. Jeans, t-shirts, button-ups, things like that.

She only nodded, looking at the doctor before looking down. You sighed as the doctor finished and sent you on your way. Well, your way down to the “Hell Fire”. It's a nickname you and a few others use. A man was strapped to the chair, you knew him, though you didn't care. Iris looks into your chest as your dad put the iron to the man's face. You rubbed her shoulders as you stared, not at the man or negan, but at carl. The grimace and slight anger in his features. 

The man passed out in his chair as your dad laughed and mocked him. “Go get your things ready, there's a suitcase in my closet,” you said, she nodded and left. You walked over to Negan as he talked to Carl and a few of the men. “What are you gonna do with him?” You asked, interrupting his conversation. 

“Well, I'm gonna take him home.” He said. “And you, plus, he’s your responsibility.” You looked at carl and then Negan. 

“That’s bullshit.” You muttered and started to leave. Your father grabbed your sleeve. 

“You don’t talk to me like that boy.” He said, shoving up back. You glared at him and left out to the trucks and helped started them while getting your motorcycle. 

“Hey pal, your Wifey's coming.” Said one of the men. She came with two suitcases and a backpack. 

“Hey,” You said, lifting the two cases into the trucks and sliding them back. “Your riding with me, I don’t exactly trust those men.” You said. “Nor my father.” 

“Okay.” She simply stated. You helped her onto the bike and placed the helmet on her head and turned the engine on, driving out into the roads.

Chapter 3

[mixelation]

I’m sorry I have to ask how would a throuple Deidara/Tori/Itachi work in this au? Who drives who craziest? What does the village think? More importantly, what does Kushina think?

i'm not saying i'd make this ~canon~ to the reborn au, but if i did i'd write it like this:

so it's actually kind of tricky to add deidara to the itatori fake dating power couple because despite both of them acting insane about it, they're actually almost entirely on the same page about what they want out of a relationship. neither of them are super into actual romance or physical affection, but having another person socially bound to show up and back you up is nice even if neither will admit it. itachi will die if he has to learn to be vulnerable with someone else but following tori around like a weird ghost at social events is just how life is sometimes, and if he says something out of line she'll roll her eyes and not cry over it. tori thinks itachi is rude and controlling and also there was that period where he actively wanted to kill her, but if she insists a good boyfriend would help her with X, he'll.... usually do it, even if X is an absurdly selfish demand.

and i think deidara does want active sex life, and he won't ADMIT it but he likes being dated. he thinks tori and itachi's relationship is really weird and also very annoying to him personally, how dare they. so we need something stupid and contrived to make the throuple even happen. such as:

tori and deidara are roommates.

deidara obviously knows their dating is fake, because he KNOWS them. also because usually when itachi comes over, tori just like. ignores him

like itachi is only there because he likes having Away Time from home, and spending the night at his girlfriend's is a normal reason to not be home. he knows tori wants her own alone time. he's just going to quietly hangout in their living room and then crash on the couch

deidara: ....but why are you H E R E

itachi: ? i literally just explained it?

i think at some point it's going to become obvious to the wider konoha populace that there's something off about ItaTori.... like itachi is konoha's most eligible bachelor so people are Watching because everyone KNOWS mikoto periodically interviews kunoichi about a potential marriage match, and no one has seen them even kiss a cheek, and also a few people have definitely noticed tori being Obnoxious On Purpose. itachi IS an asshole but bc the entire canon is obsessed with him, i've decided only his inner most circle has realized this. clearly tori is his evil, overbearing girlfriend he can't get out of a toxic relationship with

itachi: no :( if the rumor gets too bad this won't work any more and then i'll have to date an actual 18 year old :( tori i care about her problems so little. what if she tries to kiss me :(

tori, sailing right by the idea they should attempt to be more publicly amorous, because LOL: okay we're going to have to redirect with an even juicier rumor then.... let's see, what do people know.... we're not into each other enough, and also they think i'm a gold digger*.... i've heard people wondering what happens when you spend the night here.....

*she kinda is

tori: oh!

tori: i'm your beard because you're fucking deidara :)

itachi decides this is GREAT because he knows "publicly date a woman who could make you heirs while fucking your boyfriend on the side" IS the solution to the uchiha heir being gay. they barely have to change anything. they just have to catch him shoving deidara against a wall at a couple parties and then dragging him into a private room

the thing is deidara reacts exactly correctly to itachi doing this. he gets red and flustered. he acts embarrassed and twitchy when asked about it later. he's been obsessed with itachi for years.....

anyway they forget to tell deidara what itachi was doing until AFTER the rumor mill gets around to him, and deidara has to go scream alone in a forest for a while

deidara wants to blow them both up but then he looks deep down inside his soul and actually he would. like. to fuck itachi.......

i think deidara gets more frustrated with the entire thing more often because he has more interest in the whole stupid arrangement not being fake, so if i wrote it i think his addition would catalyze it moving into more of a "real" throuple, instead of "friends who mutually enjoy tricking other people for fun and profit social benefit"

as for who annoys each other most.... i think deidara has it in his head that tori > itachi because he decided it eons ago when he had more of a grudge against itachi, and he's not actually very good at changing his mind. so he's more forgiving of tori's annoying quirks while itachi is more likely to drive him insane. tori is actually more likely to actively annoying itachi, because most of deidara's annoying habits are very "it happens and then it's done," whereas tori is irritating over longer periods, and also sometimes entirely on purpose. for tori, i think itachi is generally more likely to pick at her nerves, but also since they've been In Cahoots more, she's more likely to forgive/understand him than in original flavor plasticity, and also deidara is less good at Cahoots which can annoy her

i'm imaging the fake dating starts when they're 15/16, with deidara being added a couple years later, so they're not actively under kushina while it's happening but she's invested in checking in on them when she can. because she doesn't have a front row view of the budding "romance," i think kushina just kind of assumes.... tori and itachi realized they were both Like That in the same direction and that's why they seem like a weird couple to others. she's more skeptical of the "tori is itadei's beard" rumor because that seems.... wrong. but when she talks to deidara about it he gains the most pained expression in the universe and she's like "oh no" because ACTUALLY this is a WILD LOVE TRIANGLE---

anyway when they become vaguely official, she's happy for them! also she's told minato every single detail with the same excitement she relates bad movies she watches, sorry if that makes mission reports weird---

i don't think the village at large would be... super into it? and also confused. they already don't like tori not being a Perfect Girlfriend, and the beard rumor was very exciting for a few months, but itachi being gay (bi? why is tori still there?) ruins a lot of personal fantasies, because either you want to marry him, marry your cousin to him, indulge in the fantasy of what being married to him is like, or you're one of those dudes who idolizes other dudes and your dude-idol's sexual life being your own fantasy one is very important. also don't tell deidara or tori how obsessed with itachi the village is they know and they don't like it.

caveat to the above: i think there's a subset of konoha that's really, really interested in deidara's sex life because. uh. hands. so "what do you think he does in a threesome" is probably semi normal bar banter, sorry deidara

[sadaveniren]

Hi! Why do you think BG is still going? I see a lot of people saying that it is an alternative to Louis having to have a beard but in my opinion it's much worse to use a child who has no say in the matter and will probably grow up damaged than a beard who has signed up for the job and is getting paid well. A child is not needed to maintain a closet. So with that in mind, why do you think Louis is stuck with Freddie?

Okay you are like the fourth or fifth anon who has insisted that a child is not a way to maintain a closet and while I... guess I get where you are coming from I feel like everyone asking this seems to be forgetting that this isn't just... a decision Louis made in 2022.

Here lemme just include a portion of this ask and then I'll ramble behind a cut

That anon is 100% right btw. This decision was made in 2015 (tbh I think it was probably made in late 2014 but that's a whole separate talk) by music execs who wanted something flash in the pan for their boyband that was about to lose one of their most well known members (Zayn - and no this isn't blaming Zayn for BG I am lying the guilt very FIRMLY on the feet of Sony/Syco/Modest/Simon for this one). What happened after has just been... a shit show.

I don't think Louis knew there was going to be an actual fucking baby involved until October when Belfast happened and when the baby was born I don't think anyone knew how long this was supposed to last. They took almost two weeks to file the birth certificate. I think they were trying to figure out something else to go forward with it, and they were trying to muddle all of what was coming out so fandom didn't know top from bottom.

They ultimately decided to file the birth certificate and go the paternity route and everything was then meant to lead up to a paternity test denial. And then Jay got diagnosed with cancer in March 2016 and everything went off the rails.

I think decisions were made back in 2016 because of that so Louis could have the privacy he wanted for his mother and BG was put on the back burner of his mind. I think Louis did two years of hard pap work for BG before he decided "okay I'll move back to London and let this baby thing die off, I'll focus on making music I want to make and I'll figure it all out later." He did Xfactor like Simon wanted in 2018, he avoided LA like a plague, and he tried to get Walls made.

I think he might have felt he found a good balance ignoring everything by 2020 and not mentioning it and then Briana had to go and get fucking sued because she scammed some dude for fake boobs. I'm not expecting anyone to remember this but I went on a VERY LONG RANT about how dangerous of a position that put Louis and his business companies in because it involved taxes and the IRS. I would not be surprised that that moment basically made Louis go "okay well I can't just let things lie because then I'll have a bigger mess on my hand and stuff will creep up that I can't control that involves my closet" and so he has taken back over the stunt so he can have control over his closet.

Here's basically where I'm at and you can agree or disagree but this is what it is: Louis ending BG without coming out would be very difficult. Someone asked me "what do you mean babies are part of the closet" and it's kinda like... a baby is like the ultimate proof to the heterosexual world that you are heterosexual. You have had verifiable sex with the opposite sex. The nuance of how that all happens is lost in part of the bigger heterosexual picture. If you remove the baby from the equation you are now left with "Turns out Louis Tomlinson isn't the dad of the baby his fans never thought was his because they think he's gay and in a relationship with Harry Styles." And the fact that they have let it go on longer and longer just makes the fact you can't end it without forcing him out of the closet very difficult.

Especially if they don't have another section of the closet to fill that piece. AKA... he gets engaged or married to his long term girlfriend. Because what most people try to accomplish with their closets is that people don't go snooping around it. And losing BG would cause people to do that with Louis. "oh that baby was fake what about your relationship? oh you and this girlfriend have been together for how long and you guys never post anything normal or have gotten married/engaged? huh... weird"

And if he is trying to remove having a public girlfriend from his public persona, which I think he is, the only piece of the closet he has left is BG. Because if he removes BG he has to do SOMETHING to re-enforce the heterosexuality. He'd need to up the girlfriend side of things. He might need to get "engaged" so that way people don't go poking around at his closet.

TL;DR: BG is being used because it has been here. They missed the boat of ending the stunt at a time where it wouldn't have immediately outted Louis and now they have to use BG as part of his closet until Louis is able to come out. Which is his right to choose when he wants to come out. Does it suck for the kid? Verdicts out tbh but I'm not someone who thinks the kid really knows what's going on at this point outside of "oh hey I know this famous dude and go to Christmas with these people who are nice to me" and I also think when he's not with Louis - which is a lot - he's probably living his little six year old life with his mom and dad.

[arbitraryreveries]

I understand the self-insert that the showrunner is doing with Francesca and "Michael" (Michaela), and I'm not going to try to invalidate anyone who has positive feelings about this (bc ya know, not everyone has read the book and not everyone who has read the book has ... a very specific set of kinks ...), but of all the takes on this I have heard, "John should just agree to be Francesca's beard but also provide her and Michaela with a baby" is the most ... I cannot.

Like, excuse me? He should just give up the woman he loves to his cousin and yet still sleep with her but only so his cousin and tHE WOMAN HE LOVES can have a child? Like?

And granted, I do understand that Bridgerton has decided that if you don't love someone in that crazy omegaverse-coded way, you don't reaaaallllyyy love them and therefore Francesca and John are "just friends," but just because John is a beta doesn't mean we get to treat him like a second class human being.

And I just find myself asking, is this Violet's fault? Did she wish this into existence? DANG IT VIOLET YOU MADE YOUR DAUGHTER GAY BECAUSE YOU WERE SO OBSESSIVE ABOUT LOVE!!*

(okay actually Violet having some weird mind control thing with her children would be a pretty hilarious plot twist & hey why not bring that into the show)

As a sidenote, I'm not saying we shouldn't change any of the couples, but I'd already grieved for Sophie and already didn't care about Philip, so why Francesca when Michael is the only fractionally decent-ish hero in this series?**

*joking obviously but it is funny how obsessive Violet was about "this not being love:(" and then immediately after their wedding, Francesca is making googly eyes at the first chick she meets. Idk, couldn't we just have had quiet love without the show immediately undermining it?

**I know a lot of people are saying he's toxic, but like ... he's the only one without daddy issues. He has cousin issues instead.***

***Julia Quinn, are you okay??

[purpurussy]

id love to know more about your dinok au <333

thank you for asking <3 + sorry for responding to this a little late! i'm having trouble formulating my thoughts on it atm

my concept is that dan never found phil's channel, never met him, went to uni and married a girl he met there, and became a somewhat unsuccessful legal professional because he fucking hates his job. the vibe for him is that he kinda just let life drag him along, without really allowing himself to actually Live, and now he's in too deep to just come out as gay... like he's experiencing some insane cognitive dissonance dshshglk. coping through denial+alcohol has been working okay for him so far but now his career is flopping heavily and his marriage is falling apart bc he doesn't want kids (obviously) and his wife starting to suspect something is up. he meets phil through a mutual friend who he plays final fantasy with, they start talking via discord and then it's like "but wait what's this? my god it's manic pixie dream girl phil lester with a steel chair"

it's very angsty, slow burn, will they/won't they. but trust that phil is gonna see this sopping wet mess of a man and say "i can fix him" (and then dan will fix himself because i don't like that trope <3 but he needs phil to help him see that he can live his truth and be happy yk)

it's kinda hard to write because it's a bit depressing... i'm finally getting to the part where they meet irl and things start to turn around, but so far it's just been dan drinking to cope and feeling lonely :( i'm trying to go back and edit some humor into it to make it less upsetting to read lmfao. although it's fun to create a contrast between how bad dan's life fucking sucks and how much joy and whimsy he finds in talking to phil <3 it's also just really hard to write denial/cognitive dissonance if that makes sense? there's a lot to explore psychologically. and also I don't want to frame dan's beard wife as an antagonist, I feel like it would be very easy to demonize her but she's not to blame for this mess ykwim. like i don't want dan to be a "my bitch wife" kinda guy DSGSHGKG he's just scared. and the story is supposed to be about him being brave and healing, and realizing that a better life is possible. like he is his own antagonist dslskfghgjkl

I'm also enjoying the concept of the timeline roughly following their irl 2009 timeline. like they start talking around dan's 33rd birthday, meet on october 19th etc. i like the idea of some things being kinda constants even in a different timeline

anyway they just voice chat for a while and get to know each other without actually even knowing what the other looks like. and they lowkey fall in love even before they've even seen each other. so here is them seeing pics of each other for the first time and dying in a tragic double penis explosion incident

(earlier on phil tried to be like "why are you gay? you are gay." but dan just got scared and dodged the question so now he's not even out to phil . can you believe. that's gonna be real awkward when they start making out sloppy style 3 chapters later)

(also i just realized i've written [dan] like a million times while writing this LMAO that did not actually click for me until now)

sorry for rambling for ages! i'm so tired atm so i can't really be coherent lmao.

i really wanna post this once it's done, but i'm worried it'll be too sad and angsty at the beginning and people won't be into it 😭 i'm probably not doing a good job selling this but it'll be okay i promise

also shoutout to the people who helped me brainstorm dan's username! i havent decided yet but i like the idea of him picking something generic at first, and then changing it to something more meaningful as he goes on his little journey of self-discovery