#I did one book per author for the record

[trippinsorrows]

without you + three

authors note: welp. the ball is, gradually, rolling.

do not read this story if you haven’t read ’with me’. it won’t work as a standalone.

warnings: none

song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige

one + two

words: 4k

“I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s never a good thing.” Removing your eyes from the book in hand, you glare and flip your soon to be ex-fiance off if he keeps playing with you like this. 

Of course, he simply laughs as you shove on Joe’s shoulder.. “I’m serious.”

His hand moves to your stomach, rubbing a circle as he beckons, “tell me.”

Using the bookmark on the comforter, you stick it in the page you’re on and lay it against the side of you. “I think we should take Callie back so she can have her graduation.”

Joe looks over at you, brows furrowed. “I thought we were just going to do something here?”

“I know, and I think we still can, but I don’t want to take that from her. She was really excited about graduating.” It’s something you’ve been thinking about a lot, both as a teacher and a mom. It’s so important for children to feel and be able to celebrate their accomplishments. Sure, it’s only preschool, but it’s still a big deal for her.

You want her to be able to celebrate with her ‘classmates.’

And you express as such.

“She should be able to celebrate with the other kids. Plus, and I know right now, she’s still excited about them, but I don’t know, something tells me she’s going to struggle with some form of jealousy when the babies get here.”

Joe nods, not necessarily disagreeing with you. “But, that’s not entirely abnormal, right?”

“No, doesn’t mean it’ll be any easier to deal with though.” Frowning, it’s only now you also think about how that might be for you as well. For almost five years, you’ve been able to devote all of your time and attention onto one child. 

Now, it’s about to be four.

“Hey.” Joe, forever adept at reading you, brings his hand to your chin, forcing your gaze to land on him. “We’ll handle it together, alright?”

His words, as per usual, comfort you greatly. “You’re right.” His thumb flicks your chin, as you chuckle. “It’s probably good her little spoiled self is spending all this time with you now. Before she has to share you.”

His scowl makes you snort as he drops his hand back to your ever growing belly. “She’s not spoiled.”

“Joe, as the kids say, be so fucking for real.”

“What?”

Ignoring the fact that this man literally probably still has an AOL email with out of touch he is, you continue with your very valid point. “That little girl is spoiled rotten. You give her whatever she wants.”

“She doesn’t ask for much.”

“Not you being in straight up denial.” He’s so down bad for Callie Bear. It’s not even funny. “Need I remind you of her little tantrum two weeks ago? Baby, the way you folded so quickly should have been recorded. Tribal Chief, my ass. Got taken down by a four year old.”

Joe shoves you gently. “Shut up.”

Laughing, you continue, “just admit it, she has you wrapped around her lil’ finger, and she knows it. That’s why she tried you the way she did, but I mean it, next time it happens, and it will, set her little butt straight. She can take it.”

Joe’s frown doesn’t make it any easier for you to hold in your laughter. “I don’t like being mean to her.”

“It’s not being mean, baby. It’s being a parent. As much as she loves to play with you like you’re one of her little friends, you’re not. You’re her dad. She needs to respect you as such.”

“She does,” he defends, and you sigh, knowing this is probably just a battle you won’t win. Quieting down, you decide to switch topics to something you’ve been thinking more about as you prepare for the arrival of your children.

“I’m gonna tell her, you know. When she gets older, that I’m the reason you weren’t there the first few years of her life.”

Joe sits up in the bed, removing his hand from your stomach, concern evident all over his handsome face. “Y/N—”

You lift your hand to silence him. “No, she’s going to eventually ask, and I’m not going to lie to her. Whatever anger she feels would be justified, and I’ll handle it.” 

You’ve thought about this more and more as you progress with your pregnancy. The fact that these babies will get to experience Joe from day one when Callie didn’t. There’s undeniable unfairness, and should she ever want to know just why Joe was MIA at the beginning, you will be honest with her.

You’ll make sure she knows that it was you who decided to keep her a secret from her father. How specific you’ll get will depend on her age, but you’re not a fan of lying to and holding secrets from kids when it directly impacts them.

You know firsthand how thinking your dad didn’t want to be around can fuck with someone’s mental.

You won’t let that be the case with Callie.

Joe looks just as bothered, like he doesn’t want you doing anything that could impact how Callie sees you. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Oh, but I do and will, baby.” You place your hand to his cheek, his beard a little more outgrown and slightly unkempt as he truly relaxes in the embrace of vacation. “Because that’s one thing I never did and would never do. I never let anyone say any disrespectful shit about you not being in Callie’s life. Amir would try it a lot, and I shot him down every time.”

The mention of Amir brings a scowl to Joe’s handsome face. It’s a bit of a distraction technique you’re grateful worked. This will also be a revisited topic over the years, clearly. “I don’t know what the fuck you saw in him.”

Small smile on your face, you shrug, “he’s not ugly, and his dick was decent.” And before he can say anything smug and smart, “yours is better, duh. Why you think I’m giving you all these kids, huh?” He smiles and shakes his head. “You gotta have God tier dick for me to push out not one but gonna be four of your big headed ass children. Boy, I wish you would try to leave me. You gon be wrestling into your eighties with how much I’ll come for you in child support.”

He rolls his eyes and kisses your temple, “you know I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

“Of course not, who the hell is gonna want me with all these damn kids?” The topic at hand reminds you of the book on the side of your bed, the previous reason you two were taking a break from figuring out your approach for letting friends and family know about the courthouse wedding. “Now, we really need to start deciding on names. I’m almost five months.” Pretty soon you’ll be finding out the sexes of the babies. It’s crazy to you how quickly this pregnancy is passing by, most likely due to the happiness you feel. 

Time flies when life is good. 

“Did you get Callie’s list?” 

He curses. “Shit, I forgot.”

You wave him off. “No worries.” Sitting further up in bed, you shout out, “Callie Bear! Bring us your list for baby names!” 

She doesn’t say anything, and you start to try again when she comes running into the room, Disney notebook in one hand and her American Doll in the other. She doesn’t hesitate to climb onto the bed and sit on her knees at the end, “here you go, mommy!”

You accept her notebook that’s already opened to her list of potential baby names that she came up with. “Thank you, baby.” Callie switches to sitting with her legs crossed, her doll that looks just like her, courtesy of her rich ass daddy, smack dab in the middle. “Let’s see.”

A smile falls on your face as you share the notebook with Joe, pointing out the first name that he also smiles at. 

“Moana.” Predictable. So predictable. “Maui. Hei Hei. Tamatoa.” Joe coughs beside you to clearly hold in his laugh. “Baby….are these all names from Moana?”

Callie nods happily. “And Toy Story and Encanto and The Little Mermaid,” she essentially continues to sing-song list off damn near every Disney movie ever created. “The babies have to like Disney too, mommy! Like me, you, and Grandma.”

“You’re so right.” To be fair, you really shouldn’t have expected too much more. She is one Disney loving kid, through and through. “Well, thank you so much for the list, Callie Bear.”

“Daddy, did you make a list?” She asks, head tilted as she gently caresses the top of her doll’s head.

“Not yet, baby. Mommy and I are gonna make one together.” 

“I like baby Moana.” 

He chuckles. “But you’re our little Moana.”

She pouts and corrects, “no, I’m Callie.” Her sass makes you laugh. Joe wasn’t entirely wrong. She really is a lot like you sometimes. “I want a baby sister named Moana.”

“What if they’re all boys?”

You and Callie have similar reactions. It’s just that yours is one of horror and hers is more of shock.

“Noooo, I want a little sister.” 

Adding onto Callie’s vehement protest, you make your own strong thoughts and feelings known. “And I am not pushing out three boys at once, Joe. You done lost your god—”

“What do you want for your birthday, Callie Bear?” You’re partially thankful for the save but also irritated he’s asking this question he already knows is gonna generate a wild ass answer.

“A puppy!”

See.

You do your best to use the perfect combination of understanding yet assertiveness. “Baby, we done had this conversation before, we are not getting a puppy until you’re at least ten.”

“But, I’ll be old!”

“Exactly, old enough to take care of a puppy.” One look at Joe, and you can see he’s about to open his mouth and probably find some reason to ‘agree’ with or at least defend Callie’s request. “Absolutely not. No dog until she’s older, and that’s final.”

Callie, understandably, does not agree nor like this rule, and it’s evident in her deep pout and the way she crosses her arms over her little body. “Not fair.”

“Life ain’t fair, buttercup.” You retort, quickly reminding her as you take in her appearance. “Speaking of, it’s almost time for your wash day….”

The infamous, dreaded day of nonstop hair washing and styling is enough to wipe her smile away and award her a brand new reason to start whining, “I don’t want to.”

The feeling is mutual. “Neither does mommy, but we gotta do it eventually, Callie Bear.” Looking over at Joe, you inform him, “and you will be present for this ordeal, sir, so you can learn how to do her hair for me.”

He looks confused, nose turned up. A chuckle is withheld at how much he and his daughter mimic each other in this situation. “Baby, I don’t know how to do hair.”

Sucking your teeth, you smartly point out, “you do your own!”

“I barely do anything with my hair. You know this.” 

Damn. He’s right. Lucky ass. “Regardless, when I get too big to be bending over the sink like that, someone’s gonna have to do it.”

Of course, Joe’s smartass just decides to throw out something that should probably be discussed before saying around Callie, “I’ll take her to your mom.”

Callie’s eyes light up a bit. “Grandma!”

“Joe.” Lord, this man got too much money or something. “You seriously are going to fly our daughter out to my hometown so my mama can do her hair?”

He shrugs, clearly not seeing an issue with what’s being proposed. “Yeah.”

Rolling your eyes and shaking your head, you lean further back in the pillows of the bed. “You are too—” However, you’re cut short mid-sentence, face and chest dropping simultaneously, the change in your disposition enough to catch Joe’s attention. 

“What’s wrong?” He’s sitting up even more, expertly masking the concern that’s growing by the second. Recognizing this, you will that small smile to start forming on your face, shaking your head as you motion for him and Callie to move closer.

“Mommy?” Callie is just as confused as you reach for both her and Joe’s hands, placing them on your belly, trying to find the spot of origin. “What—”

This time, she’s the one to stop mid-sentence as she feels it, the sensation you last felt when you were pregnant with her. Callie’s face is still set with understandable confusion, but your gaze on Joe reveals minimal concern and an abundance of amazement. 

“What is that, mommy?” Callie finally asks. The emotion in your throat takes you back a bit. You’re not typically a super emotional person, but there’s something about this moment, about feeling your babies kick for the first time and being able to share it with your fiance and child that does something to you. Knocks at those pillars that hold up your resolve. 

“That’s the babies. They’re kicking.” You explain, smiling a bit as Callie looks at you in horror.

“Why are they hurting you?”

“They’re not, sweetie. That’s what babies do. As they get bigger and grow, they need to move around and sometimes kick. You did the same thing to me.” Adding some playfulness into your voice, there’s a level of relief to see she appears less concerned. 

Your attention, however, is brought back to Joe as he kisses your temple, hand still planted on your stomach, clearly soaking up every bit of this precious, cherished moment. 

“I love you,” he murmurs against your temple. It’s such a simple statement, a little three letter sentence that means more than anyone could ever understand. Moving your hand to the side of his face, you both laugh as Callie moves her face to your stomach. 

“Don’t kick mommy too much, okay, little babies?” The determination on her face should be captured and locked away for safekeeping for the rest of time. “She’s the bestest mommy ever and pretty and smart and—”

“—and still not getting you a puppy.” While your daughter is undoubtedly one of the sweetest kids you’ve ever come across, she’s also intelligent as hell. And you know her like the back of your hand. Enough to know where she’s headed with this. 

And, you’re proven correct when she rolls her eyes again, making a ‘hmmph’ sound that has Joe chuckling next to you. She then sets her little plotting sights on Joe as she takes her hand from your stomach and moves to crawl into his lap.

You have to keep yourself from rolling your own eyes as she pulls out that sickeningly sweet voice and holds onto his shirt. “Daddy?”

Joe doesn’t hesitate to answer right away. “Yes, baby?” One look at him, and you already know what the answer is going to be. This man is so weak for this little girl. It’s not even funny. 

“Hallie wants a friend…..” Joe’s eyebrows cave in confusion as he looks over at you. 

Gesturing to her American Girl doll on the edge of the bed, you fill him in, “that’s what she named the doll.” 

He chuckles, clearly amused by the name that rhymes with hers. “She does?”

Callie nods, that excitement building back up. “Two friends!”

Mouth dropping, you prepare to put this child in her place when Daddy Warbucks beats you to it, living up to his reputation.

“Well, then we need to get her two friends.”

“Yay!” Callie celebrates, hugging Joe who ignores your look of disapproval. “Can I make her friends too?” 

And once again, the first living, breathing bank to ever exist is quick to fold. “Of course, Callie Bear.”

“Yay!” She cheers yet again for another way too easy battle. It’s not even a battle at this point. Battle would mean that both parties have somewhat of a chance, and Joe is clearly putty for his little girl. “Thank you, daddy.” She seals the deal with a hug and kiss on his cheek before climbing off the bed, grabbing Hallie as she shares, “I’m gonna make them now!”

With her tablet, clearly. The tablet you’d bet any money Joe once again disabled the time limits on. 

Lord, you’re about to have five damn children to take care of at this point. 

It’s only when Callie is out of the room and on her way to celebrate yet another successful day of finessing her daddy that you punch this man in his big ass arm. 

“What?” It’s him having the audacity to sound and look confused that has you ready to kick him out of the room. 

“What do you mean what?” Angling your body more toward him, you explain, “Joe, why are you buying her more dolls? American Girl dolls, at that. I know you must have paid at least $300 for the first one you got her. I saw all them accessories.” He rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it, because he can’t. Callie had always asked you for one, and while you could have scraped some money together to make it happen, you couldn’t come to grips with just how many other more useful things one could do with that money. “She doesn’t need them dolls, babe.”

“You gon’ let her get a puppy now?”

An easy ass answer. “Hell no.”

He has the nerve to catch a slight attitude with you as he affirms, “then she’s getting the dolls.”

Rubbing your temples, you realize this isn’t a ‘fight’ you’re not going to win. “You know what, whatever. You do what you want, but I’m telling you right now, these—” You bring his hand back to your belly. “—babies are not going to be spoiled like their big sister. They gon be like Oliver Twist and grateful for a bowl of soup.”

He moves his hand around, probably trying to see if he can feel any more movement. “Callie is grateful.”

“For now.” Not really wanting to have this circular dialogue with him, you grab your phone to see a couple missed texts but open the one from your mom first, instantly rolling your eyes. “Not this again.”

The shift in your voice catches Joe’s attention. “What?”

Shaking your head, you show him the thread, thumb right next to the link for an article on ‘melanin maternal mental health’. 

Talk about fucking alliteration. 

“I don’t know what’s been up with her lately, but she’s been sending me all these links for articles and like motivational photos about mental health and motherhood.” You explain to him, going to heart the message and send a quick response to at least show some appreciation. Because there is a little there. That your mom cares about you so much. But the concern isn’t necessarily valid or needed..

This is the happiest you’ve been in some time. A long time. If ever.

Nothing is going to change that.

Especially being a mother to three more children. 

Placing your phone back on the nightstand, a glance at Joe reveals he’s debating something. “What?”

He moves closer to you, hand pushing back some of your coils. “Been thinking about that movie thing…..”

The smile on your face grows as you move closer, eyes twinkling with all the curiosity in the world. “What did you decide?”

—------

Megan is having a wonderful day.

One of the best she’s had in a while.

Not only did she manage to wake up on time, but the coffee she ordered from this cute little cafe she found while on a business trip in Denver a couple months ago awaited her on the outside of her apartment door when she got back from her pilates class the night before.

And there’s few things she loves more than a delicious cup of morning Joe.

A smirk falls on her face as she hums “Here Comes the Bride” while engaging in her extensive shower routine, admiring the expert work of her wax lady. Body hair has always been an absolute no. But, it’s when she moves the loofah across the weight of her heavy breast that Megan imagines hands and not her loofah. Big hands that would cup her boobs roughly as he forces her to turn around, slams her up against the shower wall and fucks her hard from behind, her moans and shouts of pleasure dancing across the tile, alerting everyone of just who owns this pussy.

Hand gliding down her wet, nude body, she keeps the vision going, slender thighs clenching together at the thought of him forcing her on her knees, his dick down the back of her throat, eyes watering as he mouth fucks her.

“Joe….” Thin fingers slip past wet folds as she realizes she’s going to be a couple minutes late for work.

So worth it though. 

Because Megan hasn’t come like that in years. Her legs are practically wobbly as she finally exits the shower, bathroom mirror completely fogged to where she has to grab a towel to clear up a section so she can see herself.

The pink tinge of her cheek brings a sly smile to her face. 

“I can’t wait until we can be together, my love…” A sweep of sadness comes over her as she grabs her phone, admiring his handsome face on her lock screen and opens Apple Music to play his entrance music, selecting the repeat button before she continues with her routine. 

It takes her about the usual time.

And soon enough, Megan is out the door, having finished her delicious coffee and opted to just have a banana for breakfast. There’s no time for unnecessary caloric intake.

She has to start preparing for the wedding. 

Walking into the office, right away, she can detect the almost sullen atmosphere and does her best to match the vibe.

To play along. 

And before she can go to her office bestie, Paige, to “find out” why everything feels so off, the team is pulled in for a mandatory meeting.

Luke’s quiet demeanor does take her a bit back. He’s never quiet. She’s not complaining though. Not at all.

As soon as everyone is seated, he starts off with the general pleasantries that are weighed by the sadness in his voice. And then he gets into it. “I know some of you have heard, but for those who haven’t, I—uh—I got some bad news.” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “There’s uh—no way to say this, but Susan Jackson was found dead this morning.”

As an array of gasps and shocked countenances fill the room, Megan does her best to blend in, to play along with the genuine surprise of all of her coworkers.

Paige leans over to whisper to Megan, eyes also watery, “they say she killed herself. That she was found her on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building. Window was open and everything.”

Megan expertly fakes a horrified expression. “Oh my god, how heartbreaking.” She even manages to crank out some tears that don’t shed but get the job done. “I can’t believe she’s gone….”

“Megan.” She lifts her head, eyebrows also raising. “I know you worked close with Susan on a couple of clients, and you also know she was set to assist Roman Reigns on his debut film, but with Susan gone….”

Megan shakes her head, pulling out a few sniffles. “It’s okay. I’ll….I’ll do it. I’ll take Reigns as my client.”

And my husband.

Luke gives her a nod of appreciation, wiping at his eyes as he clears his throat and continues to address the room.

It takes almost everything in her not to roll her eyes. The woman was fucking fifty for crying out loud. 

She lived long enough. 

He says something about grief counseling, the suicide hotline, blah blah blah.

Megan does her best to listen but mostly tunes out the rest of the meeting. It’s irrelevant. She has what she wants. Now, it’s time to go after who she wants, the thought alone creating such an intense, euphoric feeling inside of her stomach as she casually traces the brand new tiny letter ‘J’ she now has tattooed on her ring finger.

[voydhund]

um. big TINAWDC spoilers.

LOTS of shit im gonna piss. this was made /w a ton of help from @neorails, and a friend!

Last warning, all spoilers!

. ~ △ ~ .

1: PASSWORDS

"AD ASTRA PER ASPRA" - Two images of pages written by Ford, with stickers and doodles on it from Mabel.

"AXOLOTL" - "YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS"

"BABYBILL" - An image of, [you guessed it,] baby Bill in an ultrasound, with text that reads "CONGRATS, GUESS WHATS GROWING INSIDE YOU RIGHT NOW! SEE YOU IN 9 MONTHS PAPA!" [I giggled at this one way too hard]

"BILL" - opens Triangle - Wikipedia

"BLINDEYE" - An image of an eye test, with a code that reads

"BOYFRIEND" - An image of a book called "The Love Triangle" with audio of a woman reading it.

"CIA" - "YOUR WEBCAM IS ON. WE ARE WATCHING"

"CIPHERTOLOGY" - "CURIOUS?"

"CRYPTOGRAM CODEX" - Downloads a file with Bill's fonts.

"CONSPIRACY" - A video of someone talking about the site while it was on the page with Soos, stressing out trying to figure out the meaning. Me too.

"DEERTEETH" - "FOR YOU, KID"

"DOGE" - "LIFE PRIVILEDGES REVOKED. NOW RELEASING POISON GAS."

"DORITO" - Screamer jumpscare [i jumped]

"DUCKTECTIVE" - "DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN ''LOVE, QUACKTUALLY'' COMING TO: ''OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL, INNIT?'' THIS FALL"

"EVENHISLIESARELIES" - An image of Ford's chess piece. Under it, Bill is talking with someone about Ford in the theraprism.

"FORDTRAMARINE" - An image of a file by Ford, talking about colours that cannot be perceived without 'Continued contact with extradimensional phenomena.'

"GIDEON" - opens either sweat resistant bolo ties on google, or audio of him 'singing' a song, before whispering 'I love you forever Mabel.' [I hate this place.] May also lead to "sweat resistant bolo ties." [I never got this, but Neo said it did]

"HECTORING" - A record of a song about Bill, and someone who fell for his tricks. Mentions to 'Leave him behind,' and the fucking "im a little different" shirt.

"HOTXOLOTL" - An image of Dimensional Authority Most Wanted, talking about Bill and the henchmaniacs. Red pen X's out Bill, writing "DEAD?" above him, circles the last seen and writes "WHERE DID THEY GO??"

"JUSTFITIN" - A video of a father and son playing a game called 'Perfection.'

"KINGSOFNEWJERSEY" - Downloads a file with Stan and Ford's secret code.

"LIES" - a REALLY long popup by Bill. At the bottom it reads "LIE UNTIL WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE BECOMES TRUE. LIE UNTIL YOU CANT REMEMBER WHATS A LIE AND WHAT ISNT." and then in large, glitchy text, "LIE UNTIL YOU ARENT LIVING ANYMORE."

"LLIB" - Opens Jazzy Triangle Meets A Square Square (1969)

"LLIBREHPIC" - Opens Jazzy Triangle Meets A Square Square (1969)

"LOVE" - An image of a book called "The Love Triangle" with audio of a woman reading it.

"MABEL" - Stickers decorate your lab with a nice 'POP!' sound. after a few times of using it, text reads "LAB NOW FULLY MABELIZED."

"MCGUCKET" - Opens Cotton Eye Joe [🙂<3]

"MORALITY" - An image of a paper with 9 drawings of animals fighting or eating another animal. Text reads "CAN YOU FIND MORALITY IN THE NATURAL WORLD?"

"NAITSUAF" - An image of an article about selling your soul [For FUN and PROFIT!] written by Bill.

"NOTHING" - "SOMETHING"

"PAPERJAM" - An image of Tyrone, text reading "Here, he's your problem now! Just keep this guy from liquids!" under it.

"PINATA" - A video of someone whacking a Bill pinata while it protests

"PINES" - "A GOOD FAMILY TREE"

"ROMANCE" - An image of a book called "The Love Triangle" with audio of a woman reading it.

"SCIENTOLOGY" - "SUPPRESSIVE PERSON DETECTED"

"SHAVEYOURGRANDMA" - An image of a chapter of a book talking about the human life cycle, written by Bill. [The children yearn for the mines.]

"SIXER" - An image of a case report on Ford talking about his extra finger. There appears to be a word written under "Placebo" in small text. Also notably reads "If i could kidnap him and bring him to our secret cloning lab" obscured by a black marking.

"SOMETHING" - "NOTHING"

"SORRY" - An image of McGucket and Ford in collage(?). Ford is covered in sticky notes. [☹️]

"SOOS" - An image of a really long note from Soos, talking about Bill and his experiences as The New Mr. Mystery. Lots of cute doodles.

"SPOOKEMUPS" - An image of a book titled 'SPOOKEMUPS: The Book Of Bill" written by B. Cipher, with audio of a man reading it. It's about a boy getting scared by things and assuming it's Bill.

"STAN" - opens one of seven ebay pages that lead to Brass Knuckles, Colonel Sanders Tie, Shriner Fez, Male Girdle, 8-Ball Cane, Dogs Playing Poker, Gold Chains For Old Men. After going through all of them, the WHEEL! OF! SHAME! made by Bill appears, exposing some random secrets and shames. The last option reads "HOW HE BEAT ME," and when pressed, a note reads "He didn't! IM STILL HERE, SUCKER!"

"TOURISTTRAP" - An image of a page of a pamphlet, talking about 'The Caves Of Mystery.'

"TYRONE" - An image of Tyrone, text reading "Here, he's your problem now! Just keep this guy from liquids!" under it.

"VALLIS CINERIS" - A video of Baby Bill with his parents, only silhouettes of static. a text to speech says "Why did you do it?" three times.

"WADDLES" - Opens Pig Placement Network

"WEIRD" - A video of Alex(?) trapped in the screen, shouting at Bill to let him out.

"WEIRDMAGEDDON" - An image of a newspaper titled 'THE GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER,' with articles about how absolutely nothing happened. Never mind all that!

"WENDY" - An image of a note from Wendy that reads "Whatuppp cursed book! I've got a totally legit way to ward off evil triangles, and I wrote it in the bottom right corner of the book. It's totally worth it, I promise! Stay cool dork!"

"WHOAREYOU" - "I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION"

"XYLER" -

. ~ △ ~ .

2: CLICKABLES

The golden tooth of the skull:

The Book Of Bill:

The Bill on the dagger in the book:

The 'McGUCKET LABS' on the top of the computer:

The eye in the bottle:

. ~ △ ~ .

3: CODES

this segment is a little iffy,

On page two of The Book Of Bill clickable

Solved: uh. maybe. check my blog?

During lightning strikes:

Solved: Vallis Cineris. It's a password!

The colours on the blindeye eye test probably arent codes, because they read "euclmriannrepttgccvisignnsuwepvisidnn." you can try though. ARE a code! they read "EUCLIDEAN DEPT OF VISION SUPERVISION" !

The blindeye eye test itself is apparently a ceaser cipher, but i havent found an answer to it yet.

working on adding to this, theres a LOT.

[ohcolinbridgerton]

if bridgerton characters had instagram part two

summary: a social media feed of the bridgerton characters based on part one of season 3

a/n: thank you for the love on the first social media au, i really enjoyed making it! hope you enjoy part two :) based off of s3 ep1

warnings: none

part one

-

ladywhistledown posted a photo!

liked by thecressidacowper & 1302 others! ladywhistledown NEW SOCIETY PAPER OUT NOW! Dearest Gentle Reader, we have been apart for far too long. At last, London’s fashionable set has made its return. And so too has this author. To read more...well just step outside and find a paper for yourselves... there's tons to go round.

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eloisereads I shall dance on the day of your demise. -> benedictpaints I thought you didn't like dancing, sister?

thecressidacowper Oh splendid! I've been parched without some gossip.

randomdebutante Is Colin Bridgerton back??? -> randomdebutante2 And is he to marry this season???

theonlyladydanbury Powerful words.

queenlottie I will unmask your identity one day!

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colintravels posted a photo!

liked by ladywhistledown & 556 others! colintravels Caught in presentation traffic #late #backintheton

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benedictpaints Who on earth took this picture? -> theviscountbridgerton Probably one of the hundred new fans he has😂😂😂

randomdebutante1 🔥🔥🔥

ladywhistledown A new look for you, Mr Bridgerton?

eloisereads What a shabby coat.

mummybridgerton So glad to have you back, dearest!

hyacinth8 Did you bring me back a present from your travels??? -> gregorythegreat I want a present too if she gets one!!!

randomdebutante2 😍😍😍

randomdebutante3 Can I add you to my dance card? -> colintravels I couldn't possibly compete with all your suitors 😉

randomdebutante4 How were your travels? -> colintravels I can’t dare tell you - you'd simply swoon 😉

theviscountbridgerton This comment section has made me feel sick. -> viscountesskate Anthony...leave him alone. -> theviscountbridgerton Apologies, my darling wife.

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musicalfran posted a photo!

liked by mummybridgerton & 112 others! musicalfran Finishing touches before my debut...

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eloisereads More feathers than a bird 😂

mummybridgerton Just beautiful, darling!

thegirlwiththepen You looked amazing!

viscountesskate Gorgeous.

theviscountbridgerton I shall find you a suitor in no time. -> colintravels Yes...because you have a great track record in doing so.

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phillyfeathers posted a photo!

liked by ladyportia & 54 others! phillyfeathers Queen's event with the fam 💛

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thegirlwiththepen Did you crop me out of this on purpose??? ->phillyfeathers Oopsie daisy...

albifinch Beautiful darling.

prudencefeathers I look so good 😍

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mummybridgerton posted a photo!

liked by benedictpaints & 320 others! mummybridgerton Welcome back, Colin! @colintravels 💙🐝

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viscountesskate My mother in law 💙

colintravels Good to be back, mother.

benedictpaints I look rather dashing...

hyacinth8 Gregory ruining the picture as per usual. -> gregorythegreat Shut up, little girl. -> hyacinth8 I'm taller than you.

theonlyladydanbury I look forward to seeing you all at my ball later.

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delacroixdresses posted a photo!

liked by thegirlwiththepen & 703 others! delacroixdresses If you're looking to change your style this season, there's only one modiste in town that will be able to help you with that! New dresses avaliable from today...for now, au revoir.

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thegirlwiththepen I love these!!!

thecressidacowper Are there any new dresses with big sleeves?

ladyportia I can't wait to see the new yellow silk you ordered...

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eloisereads posted a photo!

liked by benedictpaints & 213 others! eloisereads My book of the day is Emma by Jane Austen. A remarkable read so far.

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thecressidacowper Can I borrow it after you read it?

benedictpaints Of the day? How many books do you get through a week?

colintravels Have you not yet read the rare bavarian texts on the rights I brought you back from my travels? ->eloisereads They bore me now...my tastes have changed.

thegirlwiththepen I loved this book when I read it. [ eloisereads has deleted this comment]

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theonlyladydanbury posted a photo!

liked by mummybridgerton & 590 others! theonlyladydanbury I think it’s time for the first ball of the season. The Four Seasons ball welcomes you (well some of you) tonight…

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queenlottie And so the season begins…

mummybridgerton Can’t wait.

musicalfran My first ball!!!

theviscountbridgerton I can’t wait to dance with you later @viscountesskate

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thecressidacowper posted a photo!

liked by eloisereads & 103 others! thecressidacowper All ready to dance the night away. Any lucky suitors dare to dance with me?

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eloisereads That is definitely a hairstyle.

aramintacowper Flawless 😘

suitor1 Save me room on your dance card, Miss Cowper.

suitor2 🔥

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thegirlwiththepen posted a photo!

liked by colintravels & 118 others! thegirlwiththepen Trying something new 💚

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phillyfeathers Spending all my money on hideous fashions before I even get to spend it myself!

ladyportia A rather melancholy colour…

thecressidacowper Such a shame about the rip in your dress!

deblinglovesnature I hope you were able to fix your lovely gown.

colintravels This dress rather suits you.

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deblinglovesnature posted a photo!

liked by thegirlwiththepen & 240 others! deblinglovesnature Exploring the natures of the Ton! #nature #ton #vegan #veggie #world #animals #grass

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thegirlwiththepen Thank you for helping me with my dress!

thecressidacowper 🔥🔥🔥

ladywhistledown These comments catch this authors eye… ->deblinglovesnature Who are you Lady Whistledown?

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ladywhistledown posted a photo!

liked by thegirlwiththepen & 1234 others ladywhistledown NEW SOCIETY PAPER OUT NOW! Dearest Gentle Readers....There are some who take the embrace of change a step too far, as with Mr. Colin Bridgerton, who seems to have embraced a new personality entirely. But one must wonder, is this new character the real him, or simply a ploy for attention? And does Mr. Bridgerton even know? To read more...you know where to find them.

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colintravels Ridiculous

eloisereads You should be ashamed.

phillyfeathers She’s written about your precious bridgertons again @thegirlwiththepen

debutante1 Colin is still 🔥🔥🔥

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colintravels posted an instagram story!

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a/n: part two of my social media au of the bridgerton characters. next part will be moving into episode 2 of part 1 season 3. hope you all enjoyed!!!

[it-happened-one-fic]

Loneliness - Ayato

Author Notes: This is one of those things I have weirdly powerful feelings on. I've always felt like, no matter how busy he was, Ayato would never neglect his partner. I really can't say why I have such powerful feelings and thoughts on this matter, but they are most certainly the sole inspiration of this fic. As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ does this count as pining/ established relationship/ light angst with comfort

Word count: 1107

I sighed, slipping into Ayato’s office and setting down off to the side. And I felt ridiculous. 

We’d both been going about our work for most of the day as we usually did, and yet I was suddenly struck with an intense pang of loneliness. It had already been the better part of the day, and I’d only really seen him at mealtimes.

And now here I was. Behaving like a child and slipping quietly into his office to be near him without actually having the courage to tell him what was wrong.

I eased myself into a seated position in the corner of the room, doing my best not to disturb him as I busied myself with the book I’d brought with me. But my mind wasn’t truly on the words that scrolled across the page, welcoming me to pay attention to them rather than the thoughts that swirled frustratingly through my mind. Reminding me of how ridiculous this really was. 

Because here I was, a grown person, yet seemingly unable to keep myself busy without falling prey to such powerful loneliness. 

It wasn’t like I was all alone after all. Ayato was in the house, and so were Ayaka and Thoma. It was just that we were each going about our own work, just like we always did.

So why on earth did I suddenly miss him so badly?

It was utterly childish to feel this way, and I felt myself frowning at my book. Trying in vain not to make my feelings obvious. Because then I would just be bothering him.

Ayato was busy and had important work to do. He was the Yashiro Commissioner after all. His actions directly affected the country of Inazuma, and he served as an example to everyone with even an ounce of power.

And on top of that, he was also the head of the Kamisato Clan, which only increased his duties and the importance of him being able to get his work done. Me being needy would just be one more thing for him to deal with. 

In the end, I really shouldn’t have even come into his office since I could easily bother him.

“And what seems to be the matter?” I looked up, all but peeking over my book at the young man who stood in front of me. Looking down at my kneeling person with a smile.

He’d spotted me in record time and had abandoned his work in favor of checking in on me with stealthiness that made me wonder if he’d been a ninja in a past life.

 But Ayato knew perfectly well that my coming in here while he was working was an obvious sign that something was up.

I shut my book carefully, letting it rest on my lap as I looked up at him, smiling calmly as if nothing were out of the ordinary, “Nothing.”

The lie slipped out immediately, even though iI really didn’t know why I felt the strange need to lie. It was just that somehow, and for some reason, I didn’t want to tell him why I was in here. And it was silly, because even if Ayato teased me, I knew he would listen and accept my words.

He knelt in front of me, his sleeves puddling on the ground, looking calmly at me as he tilted his head in an oddly knowing fashion, “I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”

I faltered at his words, realizing far too late that I never should have tried to hide something from Ayato of all people. Being perceptive was practically his job.

I still shook my head though, my smile shrinking as I looked away from him, “It’s silly.” 

Wry amusement crept into my voice as I spoke, half-confessing to my own childishness.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see him shake his head, somehow staying patient with me despite my behavior, even though I couldn’t find it in me to be patient with myself, “If it’s bothering you, then it isn’t silly.” 

I sighed at his words, finding myself surrendering a little bit too easily to him, “I just felt lonely all of a sudden, and I missed you, so I came in here. That’s all.”

My admission was soft as I looked back towards him, but his frown was almost immediate. It was a small expression, but a genuine one. 

Ayato’s poker face usually consisted of a polite smile unless he was dealing with a particularly weighty situation where a smile simply wouldn’t do.

He held my gaze, his light purple eyes focusing solely on me as he spoke, “And… Is this a common thing?”

I felt myself smile as I shook my head, reassuring him gently, even despite the atmosphere that had gradually turned more weighty, “No. If it were, I would’ve said something.”

He nodded, but the frown remained on his face, and I knew what was causing it. It was the reason why I’d immediately started scolding myself for coming in here.

 No matter how important his work was, Ayato would always put those dear to him first. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that number included myself.

I was still smiling, though sadly, as I continued, “I’m sorry. I knew you were busy and I didn’t want to bother you, but-”

He shook his head immediately, his tone turning more firm, “You aren’t bothering me. Your needs could never be a bother.”

His frown deepened slightly as he looked down at where he’d now taken my hands, his voice dropping so that I had to lean forward to hear his next words, “I’m only sorry that you think that could be the case.”

His head slowly lifted so that he was gazing back at me once more, “You can always come to me when something’s bothering you. No matter how inconsequential it may seem to you and no matter what I am working on.”

His grip tightened slightly on my hands as he finished, affirming what I already knew, “You will always be more important than my work, Y/n.”

I nodded, my voice coming out small. Like I couldn’t get any volume with all the emotions swirling through me at his honest, kind words, “I know, Ayato. I know…”

I smiled almost feebly at him, and he nodded, a slight smile of his own appearing on his face before he pulled me towards him and into a hug. causing me to melt slightly as I leaned against him.

To think I could feel lonely when there was a man like this by my side.

[b-blushes]

did i ever talk about the a4 planner notebooks i designed and had made on here? 👀 (they all have blank covers which i decorate with stickers each month)

blank inside cover (this is my may/june planner which i started decorating yesterday, so there's a thank you note from my raahatillustration order in there), all the printed pages are printed on square paper! next page is a 2024 and 2025 calendar (minimum print quantity was 10 books, so i designed each book to cover 2 months and had 12 printed, for 2 years supply!), followed by a blank grid for future log of the 2 months that come after the ones in the current notebook).

page for trackers! i use the left hand page to write the things i'm tracking (sideways in the top box, so a column of boxes is assigned to each activity/task), then colour in the boxes corresponding to the date and each activity/thing each day. also doubles as a migraine log (colour in the box containing the date when i have a migraine), and the blank column is so i can colour in a mood tracker. the right hand page is for making a record of what i'm reading and watching (genre, start date, end date, title and author if applicable). lots of extra space for decorating or notes if i want to.

monthly page! (2 per book). the left is for a monthly overview that is heavily decorated/all the things i'm doing are written in (no completed version to show bc i have too much personal info in my completed ones to redact. sad bc they turn out very cute!!!). the space underneath that is where i stick in a copy of the playlist i'm listening to that month/any decorations i want to add. the boxes at the bottom have 31 spaces, so on the left of that i write down 4 physical therapy things i track to fill in each day. on the right hand page is where i write a little brief list of things that will be nice the following day, then the grids at the bottom are for me to shade in 'the degree to which i went outside', and a 'big picture' idea of the weather.

weekly spread! (10 per book). how i keep on top of the day! for vertical planning, with a running list-ish style chores log on the top left corner, and a blank setup on the top left corner of the right page for things i want to achieve across the week but that i can't assign to a specific day yet (or take place over multiple days). lots of room for me to stick in photos, a column for notes, and a gap at the base of the page for me to track other things. i colour code each month so it's easier for me to keep track of where i am in time, so a strip of washi tape goes along the bottom 3 rows of squares, and then above that i'm left with 3 more rows of squares - in the 'notes' column i pick 3 things to track, and then draw a line across the column for each day of the week when i do that activity/task in the corresponding row. for example:

weekly horizontal spread (10 per book). this is for my daily reflections, i write down things like my step count for keeping track of health stuff/energy expenditure, when i got up/any time i had to lay down, a bullet point summary of all the activities i did that day, times i made a decision that was, like, good for me, things like that!

blank squared pages (7 per book) and inside back cover for miscellaneous uses. i've used them for far for garden planning diagrams and collages, sticking in notes and ephemera, and collecting odds and ends of stationery. i usually stick an envelope that i've made inside the back cover so i can stuff a bunch of papers in there as i accumulate them (receipts, tags from clothes, order delivery notes, etc), for example:

tada! really happy with how these turned out, very good investment of the money i would have put into buying a hobonichi each year for example, which is simply too small for my needs!

[fateandloveentwined]

number of unique chinese characters in a book

So there's this blog I read long ago on the number of unique chinese characters one uses. Say a person writes a 10k chinese novel. But how many characters are discrete?

Classical chinese poems and songs have me doubting my chinese ability as always, and that got me curious about how many chinese characters I know or write on a daily basis.

To answer this (and to very much knock my confidence like an idiot) I put together something to count the number of unique chinese characters in a passage. I use about... 2.8k characters in my general writing.

Then I wondered about the authors I read.

A quick search online suggests that a chinese user knows and uses 1000-3000 characters regularly, and after high school you are supposed to have taken in over 6000 characters -- something I'm pretty sure I didn't do.

That said, I got curious about the number of unique characters these authors I read usually use. That doesn't at all indicate writing competency, but well, it felt interesting regardless so I decided to go play with that a bit.

For reference, jinyong's wuxia novels are around 3.5k to 4.5k unique characters per novel.

you only need 2.5-3k characters to use chinese like natives do, it's not too much really!

methodology rambles feel free to skip to next heading

I recorded some numbers and figures for something to work with with works I enjoyed. Fanfics I also included, which I saved on my computer a long time ago.

I made attempts to analyse the data in a fairer way, looking at the total word count and the highest frequency of "的"s (a very common chinese particle, think the letter "e") used in the passage. That sort of helped, but at the same time there are always outliers that manage to muddle up understanding every single time.

So now, observations. I categorised them into four levels according to the number of unique characters, from lowest to highest.

observations

note: notable novels are highlighted in yellow for easy spotting, and fanfictions are shaded in grey. I added english titles for most of them because I didn't put them in when I first did the screencaptures.

first level: below 3.5k unique characters

Good authors don't always equate an extensive character set. Conversely, there are authors who basically cannot write well (subjective) and still end up with a surprisingly not-low unique character count.

Works like 靜影沉璧、瀟湘水冷、風骨同守 that adopted a more literary, classical chinese writing register had lower unique character counts than the others. This was not what I expected, considering these works were where I found most words I'm unfamiliar with and ended up questioning my chinese reading ability (sorry lol).

I was also surprised with 潭石、水千丞、覆水難收、木蘇里 (mu su li) because their writing are all pretty good, all achieved while using a much smaller lexicon range than what I've expected.

(不問三九 with good writing was also low and in this range, but I forgot to mark hers down so, shrugs.)

second: 3.6k to 4.5k characters

That said, some authors do typically reach a range of around 3.6-3.7k unique characters, which is a pretty wide character set. Supposing adding a book of an author increases the total number of unique characters the author has used, these authors tend to round up at around 4k+ words with 2-4 novels inputted.

With each book added, there would be an increase of a few hundred unique characters, but they tend to level off at about 4.3k etc., and that is likely their maximum unique character count.

Some do level off at around 3.7k though, which indicates a narrower range of lexicon employed.

third level: the weird level

weird because the unique character count increases by leaps and bounds with every new novel of theirs that I added, and we end up perplexed and baffled.

At around 1M to 1.5M words inputted from an author, I thought that the unique character count would be pretty steady already, similar to how the unique character counts for authors at the second level levelled off eventually.

That's not the case for these two authors here. It is perplexing because the settings of their books do not vary greatly, yet the choice of characters and words were, apparently, diverse enough to give a "forever"-going increase in unique character count with every book I added.

This category aggravates me so much I couldn't make head and tail of it honestly lol.

the final level: the eloquent and literate

Of course, in this world there are always very literate individuals, and verbose they may seem, some are good writers. Here are the authors who actually have a vast unique character range.

You may be wondering how this 3.7k differs from the ones in the second level, but bear in mind this is merely the result from a single work of the author, or that the author's book is, like, half the length of the other authors while achieving a far higher unique character count than others.

And there's meatbun at the top of the list; I used both 2ha and Yu Wu for her stats, but her 2ha alone was already higher than Royal Nirvana and any other book I tested, so she goes in this category.

And et voila. All of this may not make sense to you, I'm not even sure about how the reception of this would be, it was a passion project and an interesting evening that I had, and now that I have some (sort of subjective) results I hope to share it out. :)

feel free to hmu for peculiar thought experiments and discussions on this topic!!

this is a repost from another site. i have used too many a username, and am not ready to link together all of them yet (someday) -- if you recognise this and wonder, message me, that's probably another account of mine.

[copperbadge]

We recently got into a discussion of producing audiobooks for small press, indy, and/or selfpub authors on another post, but we had strayed pretty far from the original post, and @genedoucette very kindly gave permission for me to slice his comment off the end of that post and put it into a new one.

genedoucette

I have been very, very lucky when it comes to audiobooks, so I'm hesitant to offer advice without adding a huge YMMV caveat at the top. For most of my self-published novels, I used ACX and paid a narrator out-of-pocket (rather than 50-50 proceeds split), which just means I'm paying an agreed-upon X dollars per finished hour, prior to making any money off f the audio editon. Every book I did this with paid for itself, sometimes within the first two or three months, sometimes longer. (YMMV: I did a lot of this during what I would call the audiobook bubble, when demand was higher than supply.) I had another novel series--Tandemstar--that I brought to an audiobook company, who brought it to their distributor, who agreed to pay for the production costs of the book and to pay me a (small) advance. To date, the royalties from that series have not made up the cost of the advance, but the good news was that none of the production costs came from my pocket and the advance meant I did make something out of the deal. The rule-of-thumb I always heard was, don't expect books that haven't sold well to sell any better as audiobooks. But my experience, with ACX/Audible, is this: about 50% of my monthly earning come from audio sales. How long is the book in question (word count), and what is the genre? Because it is absolutely possible to get a not-terrible narrator at a not-terrible cost on ACX. If it's a low word count book with a decent sales record, I'd 100% do it. If it's a high word count book with few sales, maybe not.

Thanks so much for this! I am admittedly always suspicious of Amazon writ large, but it's not like I've never partnered with them before, and often for indy authors they're one of a very few games in town.

50% of sales via audio impresses me a lot -- I'm not really in the industry so my sense of scale may be off but my eyebrows went up at that. And looking at ACX, a split-profits model would be appealing. I'm more interested in providing the reader with more options than I am with making royalties, so I don't mind low payout, but I also don't want to exploit a narrator if I can avoid it.

I doubt I'm selling near the level you are, but it's pretty consistent, at least -- for the last literary novel I published in 2021, and for the four genre romances published in the past year-and-change, it's generally 200-250 copies (epub and paperback) in the first 6 months, and about 40 per year after that. None of them are over 100K words -- the first of the romance novels, the one I'd be most likely to have done as an audiobook to trial, is around 50K, and the other books are all between 60K and 90K or so.

There's some fine print I'm not nuts about -- exclusivity to Amazon/Audible/iTunes for example -- but I can see why it's a necessary business model for them. There's not a ton of clarity on cost per hour for a book, but it looks like for a flat fee it starts around $250 per finished hour? So I'd probably be looking at minimum $1K out of pocket, which is probably roughly (I haven't done the math) royalties per book for a full year. It could be fun to give it a swing regardless, although reading the ACX site made me realize I'd actually have to give notes and feedback to a reader which sounds nervewracking.

It looks like the readers for ACX are repped by SAG-AFTRA, which means that for now I have time to consider while the strike is going on. (Obviously not all of them are union but if it's an entertainment format where the union is involved, I don't want to cross the picket.) And the ACX site is pretty comprehensive in terms of figuring out how it all works, so if I did want to source a narrator elsewhere and perhaps not distribute exclusively through ACX, I now have a grounding from which to research other options too.

Sorry, a lot of this is just me thinking aloud, but I truly do appreciate the info and also something to bounce off of in terms of considering it. And I appreciate the opportunity to share it with my readership too, thank you!

[curator-on-ao3]

Hey, Curator. I wanted to do this by ask instead of by comment on AO3, because I have *so* much respect for your work on Autobigraphy of Kirsten Clancy. Your creation of Martian culture? Exquisite. Your depiction of a healthy relationship between two peers striving to be part of the same organization they love and also raise a family? Fantastic. Your depiction of grief and trauma? Amazing. So since my question feels a bit critical, I wanted to emphasize that I'm not trying to start an argument or score points - I genuinely, privately want to know.

I could say nice things about the story all day. But one thing in it that I felt disappointed by was the decision not to just challenge the moral attitude of Picard and the Romulan relocation effort, but to actively change the facts of it. I think the question of whether the Federation should be allowed to break up over saying a billion lives or more is a serious one, and one that deserved the argument between Picard and Clancy. Having a narrative that says "Well, nobody really died because the Romulans evacuated them using their own resources" seems to really gut the whole moral concept of the argument - as if to say Clancy can't win it on those terms so we have to change the facts, when frankly I think she *can* win it.

Do you mind me asking what your thoughts were behind making that change? Is it supposed to be the product of unreliable narration on Clancy's part, or are you describing a different universe?

Anyway, thank you again for a wonderful story.

Oh my goodness, @ruckafangirl, your praise for that story means so much to me — and the elements you mention are quite close to my heart. Thank you, thank you! ❤️

I welcome questions (I feel like it’s an author’s dream to be asked why they made writerly choices), though I must admit I was confused at first by yours. The narrative in that story is 100% in our universe with those millions of Romulan deaths happening. Clancy’s argument with Picard following the destruction of Mars and Utopia Planitia — and her view that the Federation can save either itself or the Romulans, and the Romulans should have the resources to save themselves — is meant to be in light of readers knowing that Clancy won the argument at the cost of the future of the Romulan relocation effort since the Romulans did not turn out to have (or use?) the resources to save themselves.

I went back to the story to try to figure out what could have given you the impression that the Romulans didn’t die. Because you’re exactly right that Clancy is an unreliable narrator. She doesn’t lie whole cloth, though, and she’s painfully aware that most of her life is documented via official records and logs. I therefore worked to make her omissions both visible and sensible (e.g., she only reveals the extent of her closeness with Edward Jellico in the acknowledgments because, as she explains, he didn’t want her to talk much about him in her book). I wonder, was it Clancy’s press conference following Picard’s TV appearance that suggested the Romulans didn’t die? Because the journalist’s question, “What is your response to Picard’s critique of Starfleet’s decision to cancel the Romulan rescue?” is a fair one. And Clancy’s answer, “Starfleet is proud to have successfully handed off the Romulan evacuation to the Romulan government, which ensured the safety of its people,” is truthful, yet glosses over what “its people” means. Not all people. Not most people. And what about that handoff would have been proud in any way? I attempted to show the unreliable nature of Clancy’s glib, soundbite-oriented, political theater press conference answers by immediately having Clancy reflect on her training for press conferences from both Admiral Brand and her mother. Clancy, per her explaination of that training, focuses her press conference answers on what she views as “relevant information” while knowingly avoiding mention of deeper, uncomfortable truths — including what she perceives as Picard’s erratic behavior and his need for a brain scan (begging the question: Does Clancy know about Picard’s Irumodic Syndrome diagnosis or are her instincts that good?). Clancy correctly believes that the Romulan government took over the relocation. She possibly incorrectly believes that Starfleet therefore has no responsibility for the relocation’s failures. So she doesn’t mention them.

I hope all this makes clear that I wholeheartedly agree with you, @ruckafangirl: the moral concept of Clancy’s showdown with Picard requires those Romulans to die. And they most definitely do.

Note because of the times we live in: The Romulans die due to canon consistency. Their deaths are not a statement on my personal beliefs, their deaths are a fact of the Trek universe.

[village-skeptic]

I was tagged in this "get to know you" meme by both @booksandabeer and @stars-inthe-sky - but it has slightly different questions! I've synthesized them, LOL. Thanks for the tag, you guys!

last song: "The Letter," The Box Tops, followed by "The Letter," Joe Cocker. No one make me choose! The former is a perfect, crisp, driving little pop/soul gem; the latter is a live performance that you've probably heard so often that it's easy to forget just how good it is. It feels like everyone on that recording is operating at the height of their powers, and the result is this towering, ecstatic, howling, joyous track that will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day if you're lucky.

currently reading: a manuscript for work that I wouldn't pick up if it wasn't for work, LOL. Last few books, though: Eleanor Catton, Birnam Wood (def recommend, I keep thinking about this one); Thomas Mallon, Fellow Travelers and Up With The Sun (sometimes you have Questions about an author and the only thing to do is to read more of their work; more on that eventually maybe).

last film: Never Let Me Go. Quite simply, I had trouble entering into the spirit of the thing (the concept doesn't really hold up upon examination and I'm not sure I buy the larger analogy), but the book is supposed to be fantastic, of course. I did enjoy baby Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, and Andrew Garfield though.

currently watching: The final season of The Crown, more out of curiosity than anything else. I'm finding it very...mid? Is that what the kids are saying? The show peaked a while back, but Elizabeth Debicki's performance as Diana continues to be shockingly good and worth the price of admission. Also, as per my recent reads, watching Fellow Travelers, on track to finish up next week. Waiting to say more about that til I've seen the whole series, but I will say that I have gained a lot of respect for Jonathan Bailey!

three ships: I feel a bit like I'm between fandoms right now, but I can always be talked into reading some good Betty/Jughead, Steve/Bucky, and, uh, *looks at her bookmarks* Crowley/Aziraphale.

favorite color: purple!

currently consuming: About to consume some homemade spinach tortellini soup. (Well, okay. Mostly homemade. The tortellini isn't my own. There are limits.)

relationship status: old married :D

first ship: Hmm! I guess maybe Rachel/Tobias, way back to my preteen Animorph days? Although I certainly did not get into fic for shippy purposes, as @stirringsofconsciousness can verify.

currently working on: desperately needed post-holiday cleaning, honestly. And a bunch of little art projects!

tagging (as ever, with no obligation): @lurker-no-more , @jandjsalmon , @pantsaretherealheroes, @ballroompink

[nikethestatue]

Do you think part of the reason for the delay in acotar5 is maybe her having to rewrite the book or large parts of it because she hadn’t originally fully plotted out the cross over concept for the books that would take place after it happened (after sf) and also because she kind of wrote herself into a corner with acosf by focusing to much on character driven storyline’s? My feeling is she was so busy self inserting herself into nestas “recovery” she forgot to make any real significant plot advancement so now needs to do that in acotar5 (and acotar6) +write a convincing fully fleshed out romance? Now she only has 2 actual books to conclude the whole acotar/ic story arcs , incorporate any new storyline’s introduced in the cross over all while also having focus on 1 romantic pairing per book, that’s got to be tough to fit in and I think her record with sf shows she struggles to do that within one book. It seems like it’s either romance or plot for her if she doesn’t have multiple books to tell a story.

On a side note a couple of things I find frustrating in this fandom is that people make blank statements like “she’s a mates author. So elucian and *gwynriel will be her pairings” like an author can’t grow and write new concepts and in a market so saturated with fated mates why do people want the same old same old and why wouldn’t an author like sjm not want to try something a bit different? and the second thing is (and these are the same people who sprout the fated mates author bullshit) when people say things like 3 sisters 3 bothers is so cliche, cheesy or boring like why the fudge are you reading romantasys if troupe based writing isn’t your thing ffs. It’s all just regurgitated bulls*#t from book to book author to author and isn’t that the appeal of this genre?

I definitely think that she needed the crossover to build up some of the ACOTAR story because she dropped the ball in ACOSF and created such minimal plot with only the troves being of any importance that she needed to start working 'backwards' to create a beefier story.

I think it was even a bigger story on HOFAS but I think it did take over and took away from Bryce's story, becoming too much of an ACOTAR story.

While she is kind of mate-obsessed, to the point of it become boring and predictable, I am hoping that with Elain it will be something more unique. 2 mates, 1 true mate and 1 false mate, no mate at all--I don't know. I think many of her more successful couples didn't have the mate thing happening for a long time. Elorcan, Chaol and Yrene, even Feysand, UNTIL they mated (frankly after they mated they became kind of boring), and I think she had a good idea with Quinlar and 'chosen mates' idea, but it failed to execute.

Also, SJM has literally NO DESIRE to write Elucien. LOL

Like you could tell this is not where she is at mentally or otherwise. I also dont thinks he has any interest in devoting a whole book to Lucien of all people. Like I dont think she even likes him. She isnt writing a wholeass Elucien book.

[literaticat]

I’ve been researching agents before I query my MG Fantasy, and after [many many hours of research] I only have SEVEN agents I feel would be a good fit ??? I thought I’d have, like, 30 on my list!! I’ve read lots of query advice about doing agent research and finding good fits so many I’m taking it toooo far? The writers I follow on socials will query 40-50 agents and I don’t even know how to find that many! I guess my question is… should I cast a broader net and if so…. How do I best figure out who to query without just spamming my book out there (not my style).

I mean listen maybe you are just *choosy* and there's nothing wrong with that. (I confess, I'm a bit of a snob myself!) -- But I am guessing there are more than 7 good agents that do MG fantasy. ;-)

Maybe you already did all this, idk, but here's how I'd personally do it, it's a three-pronged approach from broad/general to specific.

FIRST -- I'd start a spreadsheet and begin filling it out by looking up all my favorite authors (who write my kinda book) just to see who their agents are. Listen, you gotta start somewhere. This info will often be in their acknowledgments or google author name + agent. Make a note of these names because they may well come up later!

SECOND -- I'd get a (Free) QueryTracker account. With this, just the most basic thing, I narrowed down in five seconds that there are 87 agents who are open to MG Fantasy queries specifically. Now, a lot of these are multiple people at the same agency which you'd have to narrow down, some agents might have only put "Middle Grade" and not SPECIFIED fantasy but they do in fact take fantasy -- but this is a start. You're starting to familiarize yourself with names, and this is just another way to cross-reference. I WOULD NOT USE THIS AS MY MAIN RESEARCH TOOL -- but it is useful to know about!

THIRD, and most importantly/usefully, I'd get a Publishers Marketplace account. I wanna say this is $25 a month (though maybe the price has changed idk, but it's around that) -- you don't need to keep the account but getting it for a month would be incredibly useful. The thing to do, IMO, is, instead of immediately just combing through deals -- a tedious process -- start by going to Dealmakers.

Go to "Browse Top Dealmakers" and select Agency > Children's: Middle Grade Fiction > Overall. You'll get the top 100 agencies for MG Fiction sales. It looks like this:

From here, you can click each individual agency name and see an overview of all their sales and deals with TONS of info, or click "View Deals" and see all the deals in this category. You could also go in the top and switch it to "Agents" and look at the top 100 agents, but a lot of them will be at the same agencies, and you should only choose one per, so that's for later when you are narrowing it down!

With all of this info, you SHOULD have a fairly robust list of agencies that do MG fiction and have a track record of sales. (There are at least 60 or so on there that have multiple MG sales in the past 12 months!) -- note that, of course, the size of the agency has something to do with this too, though -- agencies with multiple agents doing the deals obviously will have more deals in a category - a one-person shop or an agency with only one kids specialist will obviously have lower total deals, but that doesn't make them less good. So don't be swayed by just Size of Agency, the nature of the deals are important, too.)

Anyway -- let's say that there are 40 agencies here that seem like great possibilities. They have clearly done multiple MG sales, you've heard of their books, etc.

Within those agencies, there might be one obvious "MG Fantasy" agent -- OR, there might be multiple you could choose from. So when you are whittling that down, you can go to their agency website, read their bio, read their wishlist, read their client list, etc. Maybe a couple of the agencies will get knocked out at this point because actually, it seems that none of the MG deals were fantasy and nobody seems to like fantasy in their bios -- but I'M BETTING that there will be more than 7 people on the list at the end of this process!

GOOD LUCK!

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

The Instincts: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: This case takes you to Las Vegas to investigate a kidnapping of a child. This bring back painful memories for Spencer that his mother says it’s all in his imagination. Did he dream it all or was it real? And how can he juggle that and your parents at the same time?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"Would it be possible for us to work in private for a while?" Hotch asks the parents.

"He was at the funeral. I told you!"

"He was at the funeral, and you arrested the wrong man," Craig glares.

"It's not a man," you speak up. "Only a woman would describe his clothing as lime green Oxfords. A man wouldn't reference specific details like that."

"Y/N is right," Spencer backs you up. "She talked about what the child wanted, how he slept, and how she took care of him. She said, 'I loved him'. A male unsub would have emphasized the competition, not the caregiving. He would have talked about how he was smarter than the FBI, and bragged about not being caught."

"The statistics are overwhelming. Women abduct newborns. Men take children," you state.

"Garcia."

"I'm right here, sir."

"Will you run the license plates the police gave you, and find any that might be registered to a woman?"

"That would be zero."

"How is that possible?" Amy asks.

"The transcript almost reads like she's been institutionalized," Spencer says.

"You mean she's crazy?"

"She described herself as being 'locked down' not 'arrested' or 'put away'. Plus, most mental facilities are very rigid about the amount of phone time they allow per day. I think her talking about only having three minutes isn't her rule to us. It's what she's been institutionalized to think of as normal."

"Garcia, can you get records of women released from mental institutions this past month? She most likely has some trauma in her case file, possibly the death of a child."

"I'm sorry. I can't do that. To protect patient privilege, there's no central database. I could hack each hospital individually, but even then, most diagnoses are kept separately by the different doctors."

"I think I might have a way. Will you come with me?" Spencer asks you.

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"To visit my mother."

Hotch gives you the okay to go with him, and the two of you take thirty minutes to drive over to the place where she is. She doesn't know you're coming over here, but Spencer made sure to let her doctor know. If anyone will be able to help, it would be him.

Spencer is super nervous to see his mother, but you're right here with him.

"Everything is okay, baby. I'm right here."

"Dr. Reid. Your mom didn't tell me you were in town," Dr. Norman says once he spots your boyfriend.

"She doesn't know I'm here. I'm working on a case, and I actually thought you might be able to help us."

"Of course."

"You've read about the recent child murder and second abduction?" The doctor nods. "We think the person responsible is a woman. She would have been institutionalized, but we believe she may have been released within the past few weeks just before the first abduction."

"What can I do?"

"I'm assuming you have a good working relationship with the administrators at other hospitals. I know no one can open their files, but if you wouldn't mind just giving them the profile, that would be a tremendous help. She's delusional and fueled by grief. She very well might have lost a child of her own, probably around the age of five."

"I'll see what I can do."

Dr. Norman leaves, and Spencer looks over at his mother who is reading a book by herself.

"Go say hi," you whisper.

Spencer grabs your hand and holds it tightly as you two head over to his mother. When she senses someone is behind her, she looks up. Her entire face lights up at the sight of her son.

"Spencer! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for work. We're investigating the murder and abduction of two five-year-old boys."

"I don't like the idea of you working on things that are so sad."

"I know. Do you remember Y/N?"

"Yes, your girlfriend," she smiles.

"It's nice to see you again, Diana. Did Spencer tell you we're living together now?" you grin and take a seat next to her.

"I'm happy you found someone to love almost as much as I love you." Spencer sits down across from her, and she frowns slightly. "You're so thin."

"I was going to come to see you the second we solved the case."

"What else is going on in there?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to your mother, Spencer. We know. We feel things."

"Did I know a boy named Riley Jenkins?"

"Riley Jenkins? He was a story you made up."

"No. He was a real kid who was murdered when I was four."

"I think you're mistaken."

"I've been seeing things--"

"Don't say that," she cuts him off. "Not here."

"I've been having dreams about his death since I was little, Mom."

"You were always a reader. It affected your dreams."

"I remember that when I was four, we went to a funeral. I also remember we moved houses, and you and Dad argued about it. You told Dad that I was in danger."

"Because you were."

"Why did you think that?"

"I don't know. I just knew. I told you. A mother knows. We're animals, Spencer. We feel things."

"She's right," you nod.

"Do you have any children?"

"I do. Just one. Not with Spencer. I had her when I was much younger."

Dr. Norman comes back with bad news. You can tell by the look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I talked to the heads of nine different hospitals. There's no one who matches your description."

"Thank you for trying," Spencer sighs.

"You know, if this person has an Axis-1 condition, her release wouldn't be as important as whether or not she keeps to her medications."

"Alright, thank you. For everything."

The doctor nods and leaves you three alone.

"I went off my medication when I was pregnant with you. I spent every day in terror, but I made it. It was beautiful. I had you," Diana smiles.

"Oh, God," Spencer whispers.

"What is it, baby?" his mom asks.

"Women abduct newborns. Excuse me."

He quickly gets up and chases after the doctor before he has a chance to do something else. You quickly follow after Spencer, but Diana stays where she is.

"Doctor, would it be possible for a woman to convince herself that a random five-year-old child is actually her own newborn?"

"If her psychosis is strong enough. Again, if she'd stopped taking her medication, absolutely."

"Thank you. Come on, Y/N."

Realization hits you like a truck.

"She's breastfeeding them, that's how they're getting their nutrients. If she is, then she must have given birth recently."

Hotch is the first person you call with this new information, and Penelope is able to do her thing knowing that there is a woman out there who lost a newborn, who is breastfeeding, and who would have checked out of the hospital recently. The video Walter took of the funeral was used as evidence to check who was there.

Penelope was able to single out the unsub, and she got as much information on her as she could. The unsub's name is Claire Bates, and she was institutionalized three years ago after she assaulted a fellow secretary at a law firm. By that, she means Claire bit part of the person's ear off.

Claire doesn't have a last known address and the license plate she had registered to her father. He lived in Reno, but he died two years ago. Penelope pulled up birth records because if she is breastfeeding, then she would have given birth recently. Three weeks ago, she gave birth but social services removed the baby from her care after a seven-day evaluation.

It's why she keeps the children for seven days. She's recreating the loss of her baby. The only thing you don't get is that if she lost a newborn baby, why is she taking five-year-olds? She could be projecting her baby onto any child she can get access to.

There is a report written by the social service worker who removed Claire's baby, and along with that, an address.

That's the only place where you believe she could be hiding.

Hotch, Derek, and Emily are closer to that than you and Spencer are so they arrive first, but you head over there as soon as you get this information. As soon as you step out of the car, you can feel Michael's fear as if it were your own.

"Come on, I know where he is."

You lead Spencer into the house and into the back bedroom. He is hiding in the closet because that is where his energy is stemming from. Michael rushes out knowing you're safe to be around, and Spencer gathers him in his arms.

"We got Michael!" you say into the mic attached to the wire in your ear.

With Michael safe, Claire is taken away as soon as the police come. The ambulance comes to check out Michael, and his parents rush over in fear that he is hurt. Amy and Craig practically run out of the car as soon as they see Michael. He runs over to his parents, and they rejoice happily.

"A doctor has to check him out, but you can be with him the whole time. He should be able to be back in his bed by tonight," Hotch says.

"Thank you," Craig says emotionally.

With that taken care of, you walk over to Spencer who still has a sour look on his face. This Riley Jenkins case is bothering him, and it's your job as his girlfriend to back him up on it.

"Hey. Listen, if you truly believe there is a case with Riley Jenkins, then I'll back you up all the way. I'll help you figure it out. Maybe we can stay behind for a few days and talk to your mom. I think she knows more than she's letting on."

"Thank you," he smiles.

Derek and Hotch come over, and Spencer grabs your hand. He feels safer when he knows you're next to him.

"Hotch, do you think it would be possible to wait until tomorrow to return home?"

"Do you think you could find something to do in Las Vegas for the night?" Hotch asks Derek who smirks.

Spencer would love to spend the night with his mother, but you'd like to visit your parents. They gave you their address and it's on the outskirts of the city. You two go back to his mother who is nothing but happy for Spencer.

"I'm happy for you, Spencer."

"For what?"

"Saving that boy."

"How'd you know?"

"I told you. A mother knows."

"Dr. Norman gave me permission to sleep on the couch in your room tonight if it's alright with you."

"If anyone tries to keep him in here any longer, I'll scratch your eyes out," Diana says to the doctor.

"One night only."

"It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue," Diana whispers with a wink.

"I'll let you two spend the night together. I think I'm going to visit my parents. Maybe I'll spend the night there. I don't want to intrude on mother/son bonding time."

Something about your parents bothers Spencer. He has to go if you're going to go.

"I'm going to drive her there. I'll be back before you know it."

"Have fun," Diana smiles.

Your parents' place is forty-five minutes away from where Diana is since they live on the outskirts of the city. They've always been farm people, so they have a dozen acres they take care of. They sell animal byproducts like eggs and milk along with some crops they have grown. The driveway is long, but that's to be expected since their house is hidden behind the bushes and trees they have in the front yard.

Spencer parks in front of their big house, and a wave of uncertainty washes over you.

For some reason, and you don't know why, something doesn't feel right about this place. You get out of the car with a frown, and Spencer notices immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't feel good about being here."

"We should leave, then."

"Spencer, it's my parents. I have to go in." You walk up to their door and knock on the door before walking inside. "Mom? Dad?"

There are little kids inside the living room. As soon as they see you, they cower back into their chairs. Every child has a base energy that is yellow, but it darkens or lightens based on how happy or sad they feel. For example, if a child is excitedly opening Christmas presents, that child will have bright yellow energy about them. If a child is crying because they scraped their knee, that yellow might be a bit darker.

These children's energies are so dark that you would have mistaken them for a different color. Why are these children so sad? Your mom and dad rush downstairs and your dad ushers both you and Spencer outside before you have a chance to ask them anything. Your mom stayed inside to tend to the children.

"We're so sorry, sweetheart. We weren't expecting you this early," your dad chuckles nervously.

"You're still fostering children?" you ask, a bit shocked.

"Yeah. This is a bad time, I'm afraid," he says, trying to veer you off the topic of him fostering children.

"You're the one who asked me to come. Now you're saying I can't stay? Why not?"

"I'm sure we can work something out."

"You remember Spencer, right?"

"Yes," he says coldly. "There isn't room for two people, I'm afraid."

"Daddy, stop this," you whisper.

Why is he being so harsh on him?

"Don't worry, we can come back tomorrow," Spencer says.

"Why don't you stay here so we can catch up?" Your dad places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes it. For some reason, Spencer doesn't like that. "Spencer can pick you up in the morning."

"We can do that. You wanted to spend the night with your mom, right? Just pick me up tomorrow before we go to the airport."

Spencer doesn't want to leave you alone here. He can't understand why you don't see that something is wrong here. Spencer wants to object, but your dad is already pulling you away.

"It's settled. Come back in the morning, Spencer."

"I'll see you tomorrow," you say.

Spencer has no choice but to leave you alone here. He gets behind the wheel and starts the car, but he doesn't move from his spot. He keeps a watchful eye on your dad. He hugs you, but his hands are low on your back--too low for Spencer's liking. It's almost like your dad is groping your ass. It could be just him, but something isn't right here.

Before he knows it, you're taken into the house and out of view of him.

"I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." - Bob Dylan

x

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[cuprohastes]

See Strange New Worlds... And Be A Rescue Ranger

So there you are, on the base ship, minding your own business, and you get a an unknown broadcast. It's a loop of something nobody can understand, followed by a tone pattern.

Could be anything. Probe, surveyor satelite, signal beacon that's not compliant with local standards.

But then the assigned Human, who's there to pick stuff up and do Human related things, gets all twitchy, which is never a good sign.

"What if it's a distress call?" They say.

Well so what, what if it is? They should use the standard format. What if it's Thotari assassins? What if it's just a bit of space junk that's been drifting around for the last few Millenia?

But the Human's got all the telescopes - Visial, Radio, Wuth Effect and Gravitic pointed out that way. And now they're convinced there's something up.

And before you can sit down, convene committee and discuss this, CC the agenda to Dr. Kraant and log it all, the crazy human has undocked the cargo manipulator pod, re-named it the Carpathia for inexplicable reasons.

Worse, they overclock the engine. That little cargo hauler should reasonably take 15 Time Units, around 18 human hours to intercept, but at that speed they'll be there in 7.

Clearly Humans cannot be trusted with tech. The wear on the engines will cause the maintainance schedule to be brought forward by months!

You bring this to your supervisor, one of the annoyingly laid back Tsin.

They ask you what the human said and you play them the recording:

Human: Somewhere out there, someone's hurting. Carpathia out.

"Oh" says the manager, "That makes sense."

So you take it to their manager, that big Atrix, who surely is more sensible and she calls the human up:

Atrix: Did you really steal the cargo hauler.

Human: Yes.

Atrix: Because...?

Human: I think that's a distress call.

Atrix: And you overclocked the engines?

Human: Yes.

Atrix: How fast are you getting that thing moving?

Human: 212 vu per second.

Atrix: Huh I think that might be a record. Look, crank it down and run the Nitrogen tanks through the coolant manifold... About 23 pu will do it and you should be able to brake harder. Up to 1.2 gu

Human: Earth is 1.4 gu. I can go up to uhhh 4.

Atrix: ... I'm not sure that tug can take that! Wow! 4? Comfortably?!

Clearly they're all in on this crazy off-the books stuff.

At least it wasn't the Thotari. Some species nobody ever heard of with some weird take on point to point drive that blew enough hard radiation through the front of the ship when they braked out of superluminal space that it pretty much turned the hull to metal vapor, and now everyone has to learn about a whole new species who will argue that their way of doing things that aren't in the regulations is OK for them.

This is why you don't go running off to save people! Think of the PAPERWORK!

---

Author's note

When the Titanic finally sent up flares and radio'd for rescue, The Carpathia was the only ship that actually went to help.

The crew and passengers just went from 0 to Maximum Rescue instantly, and moved the entire ship to the site of the Titanic pretty much faster than technically was possible. They moved hundreds of thousands of tonnes of steel and wood, pretty much out of sheer spite because reality told them they couldn't do that.

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2004 - Number 6 - Veruska - "Un angelo legato a un palo"

Meanwhile at Sanremo. It's not been a vintage year at the Ariston Theatre. There are so many relatively unknown names that it failed to attract it's usual audience. The TV ratings for the show have been falling and this year, they're the lowest yet.

However there are some bright points even if the names haven't got the longest pedigree in the Italian music industry. Take Veruska Pieroni. She was discovered and encouraged by actress and record producer Claudia Mori. She's had four singles out on a variety of labels over the previous four years and a debut album in 2002 that was debuted at the penultimate ever Un Disco per l'Estate. Her second album is due out later in 2004 and this time she's managed to get an upgrade to Sanremo to promote it. The song she's sent to Sanremo is the title track - Un angelo legato a un palo (An Angel Tied to a Pole).

That does sound like a particularly strained metaphor, yet the story behind it is tragic. For the first verse and a half, she and her partner are happy together. Their love lets Veruska soar even if she thought he was a bit dumb at first. But then there's an explosion. A bomb. I'm unsure if this is a figurative bomb or a real one - it certainly put all the doves to flight. Whatever happened was sudden and he is no longer there, nor will he ever be again.

She puts a whole bunch of feeling and strength into her vocal as the orchestra swells to the crescendo of the choruses - she has to compete with most of the string section as well as the more conventional rock band instrumentation, but her voice can cope well and she's not overwhelmed. I feel that as the song closes, it could easily have gone on for another couple of minute with more of a coda. It's vocal melodrama.

I don't know why this strikes such a chord with me. Of all the songs this year at Sanremo, why is it this one that I love so much? I'm still trying to work it out. I think I may be alone here.

She didn't do great. Even in this weak year, Veruska could only finish eighteenth of the twenty-two songs. The album was released to presumably little success, and then she just disappears. All the biographical information for Veruska just ends with the release of her 2004 album, but there is one tantalising possibility.

In 2009, an Veruska Pieroni published a book on an illuminated manuscript, the Graduale D, held in Prato Cathedral (St. Stephen's) in Tuscany. It still seems to be one of the main works regarding this particular manuscript, although it is the only work published by the author. Although singer Veruska is from Catania in Sicily and not Tuscany, her name is not that common. Did she shift from singing about angels to ecclesiastical history?

[polysprachig]

Pardon me as I prepare to intrude my thoughts on language learning upon the public (again).

I’m working on taking myself less seriously and getting over what I like to call *nonsensical, self-inflicted recording stress*. Hence the one-take and post method I’m trying to experiment with on tumblr dot com in which I read and comment on my ***polyglot journal***.

WIP, unbeta’d, off-the-cuff. 🧿💙  

Transcript below (Orange = Speaking/commentary, Blue = Written commentary, White = Reading)

In the spring of 2020 I decided to write a detailed book on all of the language learning activities that I was doing. As I look here at page 27 of the book itself—it's pretty long; there are still blank pages—I can see several things. The one is a general overview, together with my own commentary about what I did wrong right from the off. 

[Reads] In which I accidentally bite off far more than I can chew, determine to do too much, establish a routine check in system and throw organization to the wind. Includes: Irish, Greek, German and Middle English; the Merlin project in its infancy, plus voca; a note on colour-coded translation exercise; a start to translating authors whose work I know; and the initial return to reading historical verse, which means, generally speaking, [whispers] Chaucer. The overwhelming theme is to consider what core vocabulary and skills I will need to accomplish the activities described, with special emphasis on trying the first ... to first rely on my own language skills in a—in an in almost Test -Teach slash Test-Check manner.

Now let's see how it starts. 

During the summer season I have decided to focus my language learning efforts on my productive skills, those being speaking, writing, translation and the creation of new materials. At the center of this decision burns the desire to spread the seeds of my knowledge of different languages to others and espouse the personality of fire to keep my learning active, invigorating, and all consuming. This trimester of learning—Yes, I can count, I just really like the word trimester (it's technically a semester) from May through to the end of August, is meant to prevent me from becoming too lethargic in my study habits. I shall focus predominantly on Irish, with approximately three lessons per week scheduled with various teachers—hilarious— in the hopes of levelling up within 3-6 or even 8 months—this timeline is still up to debate depending on various factors such as finances, travel, quarantine status and miscellaneous slash other. My secondary main languages are Greek, German and Middle English—[Laughs] Sorry, reading it now is hilarious to me because I already know what happens, and now I know where I am in my studies and we're ... we're basically back at this point, but in a better way. Okay, let's not jump ahead of ourselves—So, my secondary main languages are Greek, German and Middle English. In these languages I aim to create one to two significant works of translation—wow—and/or auditory material. My main goal is to drastically avoid using the Internet—best of luck with that—and other electronic digital tools to aid me, with the exception of the online Greek-English Dictionary (until I have purchased my own dictionary in Greek)—I should add a footnote here: I have got my grandfather’s print dictionary and Greek and it is from the 1920s and I need a ... updated one. Anyways—and the Middle English corpus as necessary. Moreover, I should hope to complete some written exercises and short writings in Hebrew, Italian and possibly even French.

Correct me if I'm wrong: too much is going on in this section, and as we'll see, it just gets worse. 

Stay tuned next time to find out the mistakes I made, but also the benefits I experienced in trying to learn multiple languages at the same time and, especially, improving those levels at multiple times (???) without having the firm foundation necessary to actually complete that type of an activity. Ohh so many things to go over. I'm very excited. See you next time!

-polysprachig

[jonsaremembers]

Reading Tag Game!

Thanks @the-lincyclopedia this is my jam!! I tag @thatgirlnevershutsup @castrotophic @infiniteseriesofhalfways @notsosaucystuff and @whatsitcalledfromthingy - if you wanna play, of course!

Last book I read: Becoming Ella Fitzgerald by Judith Tick. It was...sort of dry and boring. I was hoping for something more personal. But honestly it was so eye opening, in that sometimes there are gaps in the history of her life and they have to assemble a timeline piecemeal from venue records and such, which is...I wonder about it

A book I recommend: Fellowship Point by Alice Elliott Dark. Her prose is unbelievable. Some of the best writing I have ever read, ever - wry and witty and so so heartfelt. It was in the running for my favorite book of the year until I read Babel. 

Book I couldn't put down: One by One by Ruth Ware. I don't love EVERY Ruth Ware title, but I consider myself a connoisseur of Thrillers for Scaredy Cats, and this is an absolute masterpiece in that arena. 

Book I've read twice: I reread ALL the time, but how about I mention (again) the fact that I have read my least favorite book of all time twice, just to be sure. (It's Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray. I loathe that book.)

A book on my TBR: My Goodreads TBR is legit in the four figures, but the latest one I added is called The Mistresses of Cliveden and it was rec'd to me by my sister, with whom I share a love of intimate accounts of historical women's lives. 

A book I have put down: I assume this means I DNFed. This list is pretty short! I have a different shelf for "books I didn't finish but want to try again someday" than for "giving up bc I hate it." The most recent one was The Montessori Baby by Simone Davies, which I picked up when my kid was about 8 months old and promptly began to internalize a TON of guilt about everything I wasn't doing, so I said NOPE. 

A book on my wish list: I Didn't Do the Thing Today by Madeline Dore, which was basically written for me, personally, and may indeed change your life as well. Completely changed how I see my life and productivity and creativity and and and.

A favorite book from childhood: Oh God, all of them. But somehow I have not yet mentioned my favorite author of all time, Madeleine L'Engle, so I will mention her now, and shout out A Wrinkle In Time and A House Like a Lotus. 

A book I would give a friend: The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo. I love this book so so so much. It's about sisterhood, and parenting, and how we can hurt the people we love without doing anything wrong per se. I actually did force a copy on my mother in law because I happened to visit a bookstore the same day she and I had been chatting about it. 

A book of poetry or lyrics I own: I have a collection of C. S. Lewis' poems I bought in Sweden.

A non-fiction book I own: Upstairs at the White House by J. B. West, who served as Chief Usher at the White House from the tail end of the FDR presidency to the beginning of Nixon. It's absolutely fascinating. I've read this like five times. 

Currently reading: Anna Karenina on audio. I've been slogging through it since the beginning of this year. I really want to finish it this time (I've started and stalled on AK at least twice, maybe 3 times?!).

Planning on reading next: My hold on The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot just came through!