#I didn't post hate to their fucking fandom.

[jolapeno]

✨ jolapeno turns three today 🥹

(or undercoverpena, mvtthewmurdvck - however you've come to know me)

no matter when i stumbled into your dash, whether through my bucky barnes stage, daredevil, the umbrella academy, daredevil again, call of duty, daredevil again again, narcos, triple frontier, the last of us, the mentalist, the mandalorian and likely back to daredevil again, thank you. not just for the laughs, or the notes; the kudos or the asks, but for being here when it's been cloudy and stormy. thank you for reading the things my brain comes up with and urging it to continue.

i started as a person who didn't know if she could tell stories and I'm now a person who loves to tell stories. even with the lows, this has still been a place I've felt super happy to be a part of, and I'm so grateful that so many of you have stuck around (or allowed me to forcibly drag you from fandom to fandom).

i wish i could go back and tell three-years-ago-jo that in two years she'll have friends she couldn't go a day without speaking to. i wish i could see the look on her face when i told her that she'll have written not one story, but countless romance stories after never thinking she'd be able to do it again. so thank you, for being here, for reading and supporting, for cheering me on and also being my friend. i love you all lots. (sorry not sorry for being a mush)

some special thank you's to just some people who inspired great things in me, who have seen my work when it hasn't been as polished as when it's posted and not judged me for my random misspellings or crazy dyslexia.

even when i didn't think i could do it, you all did. so thank you. to my friend aish, who held my hand through late night texts (which allowed me to find my tuesday sister @goodwithcheese without who i cannot humanly go a day without now). without @eupheme we'd never had had din going around the universe, without you telling me i could do it. and if not for @tonysopranosrobe we'd never had me writing outbreak joel who just can't keep his hands to himself and even more joel's since then. to the wonderful @secretelephanttattoo who inspired and cheered me on for do me yourself (it wouldn't have existed without you) i am amazed by you all the time. and to @luxurychristmaspudding for fancying the pants of frankie and blue so much we're still not sure who we're choosing, for helping me cull the ideas and holding my extra 'S' with all the love in the world. and @toomanytookas for being a sounding board when i change plot three times and not judging me.

and last but no means least, my panda, the girl i have trekked on a train for even if i hate trains, @thetriumphantpanda you don't just inspire great things in me, but make me do great things. your honesty and care with my heart and work is never taken for granted and if you're not crying as you read this, what the living fuck hahaha.

[alligatorjesie]

Can you, like, get real problems? I’m sure there’s a soup kitchen or a that needs an extra volunteer or a city council meeting you could go to.

Yeah. I do those things already and isn't it weird I still find extra time to tell assholes to get out of my fandom space.

So what public service have you done this week @rudyknight? In the last month? year? Hey, tell me real quick @rudyknight whens the last time you joined a counter protest?

Because my town has our own version of westburo baptist church and they LOVE protesting our pride events.

I had a bunch of fun.

I used my hyperfixation of plants to block out their signs and ensure they didn't have room to protest on the sidewalk.

I got to practice my metal growling.

The preacher who had spent the entire night telling everyone we was all gonna burn for eternity in a lake of fire for just bein' ourselves Did Not appreciated me telling him I enjoyed fucking his mother.

But hey maybe your too shy to tell assholes to fuck off to their face.

I mean you didn't seem to have that issue here so I don't know what the fuck is holding you up in the real world, but hey, maybe this'll be a push to get you to stop white knighting assholes on the internet.

But hey there's a lot of other things you can do to help your community that ain't active protesting!

Whens the last time you went through your neighborhood and helped remove invasive species? I'm sure you've done that over the past few weeks, Right @rudyknight?

I've been slowly removing invasive honeysuckle and using it's bones to make yard structures.

I've personally saved at least 5 adult trees in the neighborhood from an invasive plant called winter creeper that will slowly choke a mature tree to death if left unattended. It's already claimed a 100 year old maple a block away from me.

Or you know as a little treat, for me, I've been completely redoing the closet that my hot water heater use to live in before it fucking exploded.

The water damage was... extensive.

I fell through the fucking floor when I first started

It's coming together baby.

Oh but man don't worry I still have So Much Time Left in a day to tell useless assfucks posting hate to my fandom to

Fuck Right The Fuck Off.

But you go on @rudyknight. You keep right on defending a useless prick who got caught being a useless prick from getting told they're being a useless prick.

I'm sure that useless prick appreciates it.

God fucking knows you ain't doing shit to be actually helpful.

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[sapphic-agent]

Why does the ATLA subreddit act like they don't tear Katara apart on a daily just for breathing? If Sokka or Aang had said this no one would have bat an eye I hate it here

[tora-the-cat]

when people talk about how allison is the worst and it’s just a list of all the reasons i love her… this world was not built for people like us

NO FOR REAL. Like.

'she thinks she's always right' 'she's so conceited!' 'she refuses to accept reality for what it is' SHE CAN LITERALLY MANIPULATE REALITY. Reality has been RELATIVE to her desire for almost her entire life. Why would she take ANYONE seriously. She's trying SO HARD to be a person these days but that shit is HARD.

'she's vain' yeah she's 1. a child star and 2. the prettiest girl in the world. and 3. its funny

'she's got a weird thing with her brother' I LOVE fucked up dynamics and the writers are cowards for never letting them talk their shit out.

'She wasn't honest with Ray!' what could she have possibly said without being thrown in a looney bin.

'she could've at least told him about her brothers, or her daughter, or literally anything about her life' Allison has, literally, NEVER had to talk about or explain her life to anyone. she's been famous since she was ten. I genuinely do not think she knows HOW to even approach the topic.

'she doesn't use her powers even though it could instantly solve her every problem' this is not a plot hole and you are not smart for pointing it out. This is LITERALLY the central conflict of her character. She accepts that her actions have consequences of her actions exactly once ever and it is so traumatizing she literally stops trusting her own judgement implicitly. Using her power again means opening up the possibility of making a mistake again, and accepting responsibility for her actions ONCE damn near killed her.

'she's so focused on her daughter she's delusional!' the audacity to say that shit if your favorite character is five, the most delusional about his family character ever written. Hipocracy taser. (It's literally her daughter. of COURSE she's the center of allison's universe).

'she killed Harlen without running it by anyone!' I genuinely don't understand this one. She SMUGGLED Harlen out the hotel with Viktor cause the rest of the family had? already voted on killing him? VIKTOR is the one acting against the family's best interest here, and he KNOWS it.

'she knew how much killing Harlen would hurt Viktor!' god forbid women do anything.

'she was mean to Viktor after and refused to make amends' Allison doesn't think she did anything wrong (see above) and thinking she DID do something wrong is like, a paradigm-shifting thing for her on the single occasion she's ever done it (see above). Why would she apologize?

Everyone MUS understand. Allison spent TWO SEASONS doggedly dedicated to self improvement and being a good person and loving her brothers, and WHAT has it done for her? Wrought heartbreak and ruined her life twice. Her happiness and reality have gone hand in hand for her entire life where everything that WASN'T handed to her was taken with ease, and have now been made fundamentally INCOMPATIBLE (she can't have her brothers, Ray, AND Clair. she can never have everything she wants again no matter how hard she tries and how close she got). Her arc was literally the ONLY thing I liked about season 3. She should have killed MORE people, if anything. She should've killed Sloane and/or Ben just because it would piss people off. I love her so goddamn much and I support womens WRONGS.

[monstersinthecosmos]

not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.

next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

always always thinking about your post that was like “normal has a very high threshold for being loved that is nearly impossible to meet and he will do *anything* to feel validated” and then today in the discord during the part where willy reveals it could’ve been either normal or scary, will said “willy fucked up normal would burn the entire world down for the tiniest crumb of validation” and just. screaming screaming forever about this boy’s inability to ever feel loved enough, he is every webweaving post about always devouring and never feeling full from love, this boy is RAVENOUS and it’s hard to understand how the oak good-boy morality can even supersede that, he has every trait imaginable to become a villain and it feels like the only thing preventing that is the desire to be good, bc tbh I don’t think he wants to be good more than he wants to be loved

SORRY FOR TAKING ALMOST TWO FUCKING WEEKS TO ANSWER THIS ANON!

Eheh, firstly *thank you* because this message is very sweet and made me extremely happy. The post you’re talking about took a good while to write and came with a lot of anxiety so it’s very nice to hear that you’ve kept fragments of it with you, I really do appreciate that!!! 💜

I’d debated for a bit on answering this privately to be honest with you, as not every fire I’ve sparked is one whose flames I wish to fan, so to speak, but everything you wrote is just so on-point and well-articulated that I couldn’t resist. Otherwise. *Ahem*. I know it's very very silly to respond to a response about an essay with what is essentially another essay, but you see, in thinking of how to answer your message, I got a little caught amongst many other things that have been on my mind... And I've seen some takes that have annoyed me for one reason or another and couldn't decide how to address those and. Well. Ultimately I decided that the stuff I wanted to talk about was connected *enough* to the stuff brought up in your message (as well as in my original post) that I could put it all together, soooooooo if you'll entertain me rambling once more~

Let's start by saying that, I recently saw a take going around stating that “Scary’s internal issues caused her external issues while Normal’s external issues caused his internal issues” (among a number of other statements that I frankly found pretty questionable), and I must say, for reasons that I hope to explain, I disagree with this assertion on both accounts!

In Scary’s case, this statement completely erases and undermines the trauma of her dad walking out, and what that does not only to her confidence and sense of self-worth, but to her relationship with her mother as well. And the degree of the impact of this external trauma on her internal view towards and treatment of herself is clear as day just by looking at the stark contrast between Terri and Scary. Scary (Terri) is someone who once had confidence in herself and could find validation and motivation internally, most recently evidenced by Terri's words of encouragement to Scary whilst under beacon of hope:

But then her dad leaves, and things get harder at home, and Scary starts to fight with her mom (her mom who she once called her best friend!!!), and she starts to feel worthless and unlovable- something that only gets worse with time as Willy alienates her from the rest of the group, case in point with this revealing exchange:  

No one’s told her they’re proud of her in a long time (sound familiar??),

her teachers at school shut her down when she tries to speak her mind or otherwise dismiss her behavior as “acting out” seemingly without any sort of intervention or attempt to actually check in with her,

[the above teen fact is from episode 31]

Only then, in response to her diminished sense of self-worth does she begin to cut herself off from the rest of the world and from her former self, most importantly quitting soccer (which we know matters a lot to her!),

and those things leave her even more vulnerable and supportless and ashamed. Not to mention all the mixed emotions she must feel when Terry walks into the picture, between actually liking him but not being able to see his love as genuine due to her relationship with her bio dad and all the frustration and shame she must feel as a result.

This is not to claim that Scary’s internal struggles do not inform a lot of what happens to her and the people around her over the run of the season- of course they do! (In fact some of the later things mentioned above are examples of that- I guess I got a bit carried away). But Scary’s major internal struggles that affect her throughout the course of the adventure are preceded by a slew of important external events that negatively affect her psyche and are in many cases out of her control. Scary’s internal struggles did not originate in a vacuum, and I absolutely would not say that they “caused” the bulk of what she has been through.

Unlike Scary, Norm’s excessive dependency on external validation to feel like he’s worth anything begins when he is very young. [Emphasis on “excessive” here, since obviously everyone requires validation from others to some degree, the point being just that this trait is so very pronounced in Normal and, as I argued a bit in the post anon is referring to, usually the most important factor informing his courses of action, superseding (but not implying the absence of) any desire to be good and help those around him. Will’s statement (the one which anon quotes) seems to corroborate this.] We know that things go so far back from Sparrow’s account in episode 17:

It’s important that this is about Normal’s kindergarten experiences too, because it tells us that Normal’s predominant internal issues go back farther than this and hence were not caused in and of themselves by his peers- instead being perhaps more fundamental to who he is as a person.

This is not to say that external events do not exacerbate the state of Normal’s psyche. In his youth most notably, we can infer that he interpreted Hero’s treatment (which of course he did not understand at the time to be her training) as favoritism, and I think it’s pretty clear by this point that his resentment of her is tied to the degradation of self-esteem that he experienced as a result.

Then of course there is the dance. Sparrow’s words to Normal during the dance obviously consist of a very pivotal moment for Norm within the context of the season, but I think it’s important to remember and not erase the fact that Normal’s internal issues with validation do not begin at the dance, as established in the kindergarten case but also further exemplified by Norm’s primary motive in becoming the school’s mascot in the first place (to get everybody to like him). I think it’s important to remember this in part since it informs so much of Normal’s reaction to what his father has to say, immediately afterwards but also throughout the whole rest of the season. No kid wants to hear that their parent isn’t proud of them, but the severity of the response to this sort of statement is going to vary drastically depending on the person, and in Norm’s case, given his natural disposition, it’s devastating. [and I swear there’s a teen talk moment where Will says basically this but I can’t find it for the life of me rn damn it lol maybe I’ll edit in the clip later if I do]

Of course in this specific case, one can still mostly say that the problem stems from outside of Normal, and that his preexisting issues exacerbate his response but are definitely not the cause of it. Outside of this instance, however, this is not always true! In fact, Normal’s excessive dependency on external validation and related rejection sensitivity (negatively) inform a large amount of his interactions with those around him, particularly Lincoln and Taylor (imagine me underlining “Taylor” several times as I say this). Truthfully that’s a whole ramble on its own, but with respect to more recent events, I have to admit that I was genuinely quite irked to find a lot of people blaming Taylor and Lincoln for Norm’s response to their uh. mech shenanigans in episode 37, choosing to frame this as an act of moral failing or even malice on their part, rather than a reflection of Normal’s own issues and room for growth. Lincoln and Taylor were simply focused on the mission at hand, and there was no good reason realistically speaking to have expected them to be aware of Normal’s emotional state at that point in time (or in general, to be aware of the jealousy their bonding moments evoke within Norm- particularly when Normal consistently fails to communicate and address those emotions with them in a manner that is direct and not passive-aggressive). Lincoln in particular is very clearly stated as not even having fun in that moment, very understandably being focused instead on the fact that his friend Scary is around his father, who he just witnessed, you know, murder someone. This is not an instance of the world going against Norm for no good reason other than to put him through it, this is a very clear example of Normal’s internal issues affecting the way he perceives external events in a manner that is not actually very reflective of the reality of the situation, and which of course feeds in further to his cycle of self-loathing (and I won’t go into it here since I sort of did in the post anon is responding to- but Normal’s negative reaction to Lincoln breaking the pick to gain Scary’s trust is another important example of this [tbh all the more so now coupled with the hypocrisy of how he handles the anchor in Goofs but that’s a tangent]). As aforementioned, Norm also struggles a good chunk of the time to actually explain his feelings in a manner that is direct and does not rely on blaming others for not picking up on his dejection, as exemplified in how this discussion goes with Lincoln in the most recent episode:

The treatment from fandom of this whole instance being reflective of a reoccurring issue I tend to have with a large chunk of the fandom, wherein the collective memory of canon tends towards getting warped to account for Norm’s mental state. Sometimes that’s hailing him as some morally-perfect, emotional reincarnate of Henry (as though the pride layer didn’t happen, as though Goofs didn’t happen, as though all of Norm’s relationship with Taylor isn’t what it is- …I feel like I should stop implying stuff about the significance Taylor and Norm’s relationship and not elaborating but it really is an essay in and of itself LOL), other times it’s just downright turning everyone around Normal into a villain, a persistent phenomenon which I sort of illustrated in the above example but also touched upon in an earlier essay (arguing that despite the fandom’s quick jump to villainize him- Lincoln breaking the guitar pick would prove to be an act of love). Sparrow also takes a good brunt of the damage from this. Sparrow saying he’s not proud of Normal gets turned into Sparrow not loving Normal (despite an abundance of proof in canon to the contrary), his apology for what he said and the support he shows for Norm in light of his alternative plan on dealing with the Doodler are completely ignored by most of the fandom, as are any other demonstrations of emotional availability and shows of growth that he displays throughout the course of the season, and the true motives behind Sparrow’s insistence on Normal living a “normal” life- to protect him from the childhood that he but also that Hero had to undergo- is somehow framed as Sparrow actually holding some kind of favoritism for Hero. It’s as though there is a complete inability on a larger scale within the fandom to see Sparrow as separate character outside of the filter of Norm’s emotions, and the other teens (including Hermie) get a similar if less pronounced treatment.

[Actually, I would argue that to some degree all of the kiddads except Terry (and Lark since he’s not officially a dad) tend to be perceived and criticized predominantly through the noise of their respective child’s emotions/behavior. In Grant’s case, Lincoln 1. spends a good part of the earlier half of the season asserting that his dads are the best dads in the world despite everything going on and 2. has a very unfortunate tendency to compartmentalize and push down his negative emotions as much as possible- in typical Wilson fashion- so the complexity and severity of Lincoln’s issues with his dad generally go understated, and only now that Lincoln has begun to be more vocal and upfront about his issues has some of Grant’s parenting finally begun to come under fire, and even then mostly only his more recent transgressions. In Taylor’s case, Taylor’s emotional security/stability and general fondness for his dad mean that Nicky is being hailed by many people as “the best dad” where in fact Nicky- while certainly helping the teens out in many ways and perhaps even acting as a friend to them- has done just about jack shit for Taylor as a *father*, and really if Taylor has anyone to thank for being as well-adjusted as he is now, it’s definitely his mom! But I digress.]

Normal and Scary are very similar, but the way fandom treats them is very different. People (mostly) seem to be able to acknowledge that Scary, in spite of her mistakes and flaws, is a scared, tired kid with a good heart who is capable and deserving of love. In Normal’s case, I just can’t seem to shake the impression that the fandom (in general) would rather strip Norm of all the things that make his character complex, and nuanced, and flawed, reducing him to an utterly uninteresting husk of a character before depicting him as anything other than a perfect goody-two-shoes who has never hurt anybody in his entire life or daring to acknowledge the fact that “Normal has been through a lot, is hurt, and deserves a good support system and emotional validation” and “Normal can at many times be his own worst enemy, sometimes makes mistakes that affect those around him, and has room to grow emotionally” are notions that can and should coexist. Or at least, that's my two cents on the matter.

[pretty-fishy]

I am unfortunately a bit frustrated, Like I know we are all super hyped for Bi Buck and I don't dislike Tommy.

But People acting like this positive Tommy energy comes from his character, when if his character was a female love interest, even factoring for the Bi canon excitement, wouldn't be getting this level.

People saying He's Buck's most developed love interest like ????, obviously several Buddie love interests( Ali, Ana, Natalia) had very little characterisation, Abby was a main character and Taylor was established with motivations and plotlines. Just because so much of their characters have been boiled down by fanon to their worst traits and actions. Sitting here knowing if Tommy was a female character, she would not be getting the same grace, unable to escape the behaviour in Chimney Begins. Like by all means like him and like BuckTommy, you do you, but also think would I be giving Grace to a female love interest like this

[coolspacequips]

I think if all ppl can say about allura is that she's an obstacle to kl or that she's dead to be kl angst or that ppl shipping her w Lance suck then maybe just don't talk about her ever LMAO

[sschmendrick]

ok i've been meaning to send this ask all day but never caught the time. I see so much haikyuu on your blog lately! Tell me more! (funny thing is we are doing a rewatch at home too!) tell me your story and EVERYTHING you want. And also!!!! i can see you shipping hinata and kenma?

OK ok, strap yourself in because I cannot guarantee that this will make any sense. But I’ll do my best.

To be off to a great start, I do not remember how I got into Haikyuu. One day it wasn’t and the next it was. From pictures I have I can say that I was into Haikyuu in my last year of middle school (so 2015-2016). By then I already had mangas but I’m pretty sure I was first attracted to it by the anime so I’d already seen the first season (and maybe the second too) and I had started buying the mangas.

(I shall put a read more here cause this post is LONG, beware!!)

Pictured below is one of my productions during my mandatory stage de troisième. I was in a graphic design agency and I was shy so I’d eat real fast at lunch time and use the rest of the time drawing and my supervisor saw me one day and offered to give me an exercise around it that would make me both enjoy what I was doing and also understand more stuff about graphic design. He was awesome. He really went with all my little cringe interests and encouraged me. The exercise he gave me was to create a cover for Haikyuu. I had a lot of fun with the lettering, understanding the dimensions and everything. He then made me create a brand, understanding why brands are called what they are, making my own logo, and then I worked on one of their (maybe) projects.

(top is the cover I did, the second one is what I was working on when he gave me the assignment, last on is me being crazy and drawing yaoi in a room full of adults at 14 and them going good job, you wanna keep drawing ?)

Yes I already had a favourite character but it will become more apparent soon. I got really into volleyball because Haikyuu made it look so cool. I was never a sports guy so it was really hard to want to have fun while being so bad with endurance and athleticism. All I had to my name was my flexibility because of dancing for years. Once again I think I was very lucky with the people I met. My PE teacher was really nice and could have just let me skip the class but he didn’t. Wait no, this needs more context. I didn’t have many friends in middle school. I spent the first year with nobody. The second year someone approached me and more or less dragged me in the world of people and friends (once again, I met an amazing person that was just selflessly nice to me). She got me speaking to people and I met my friends through her. My best friend from elementary had abandoned me in a matter of days after we started middle school so I felt very awkward in all situations. Anyway, I had a few people I hung out with but that was about it. I wasn’t exactly the bestest of friends with them but they accepted me even if I was awkward and didn’t talk much. They all knew each other for a while and were much closer (and popular), so when PE would come around I didn’t have anyone to pair up with. SO, my teacher instead of turning a blind eye offered to help me with the volley practice (this was in quatrième (before last year of middle school) if I remember right ? but it must not have been before I learned about haikyuu). He took the time to make me practice everything and explain everything and honestly I think that helped a lot with my general technique cause otherwise there’s a lot I would not have understood or just learned wrong and would have to readjust when I got to high school.

Back to last year of middle school. My mind has been overtaken by Haikyuu cause it’s brilliant. I dabble in cosplay and I have no money I can use to buy an aliexpress one (yes the dreaded website but we would go there at the time haha) but I want to cosplay Haikyuu. Lucky me, I have found a group of cosplayer on Paris for the next Paris Manga that’s doing Haikyuu ! I was so pumped up. And they didn’t have my character but they did have his partner so we were all excited about it :) My parents were not very thrilled about it all because I was still just 14 and they were mostly adults but my mom still helped me make my own jersey! I still have it but I’m 100% sure it doesn’t fit anymore :’) Here is me starting to fall for the sport and the cosplay progress pictures I still have

(still so proud of it, I did everything by hand !! and last pic is me with a volley ball cause I was a little deranged already)

Yes I was Akaashi, I loved that character. Acting all polite but an overthinker much with a dash of mischievous and admiration for the people around him. Also nothing grand about him like so many of the characters, but he could still hold up with them. I think I have somewhere on my computer a picture of our group but first I don’t know where it is and second you can only see my face on it so I have no picture of my finished cosplay haha. The con was amazing, I had so much fun with these people, we started hanging out a little more often and going to all the anime cons around Paris as a group and we did more group cosplays. I loved it. However at this con I lost my phone and it was in February so when I needed my dad to come pick me up I had to wait for 45 minutes in short shorts and a thin jersey :’)

After that I kept enjoying Haikyuu as one does, and high school started. Oh high school, a lot happened there. First thing I did was being reborn ! And even though it wasn’t much and only social it helped me be a little more free already. Free enough to allow myself to pursue a certain sport I was looking forward to. Yeah I got the volleyball bug. I was so happy my high school had a volleyball “club” and the first day of it we were only two. It was me and another guy, even smaller than me, who had also loved Haikyuu but we didn’t talk much about it. He was just as fired up about it as I was and we really pushed each other to become better. I don’t know what he’s become now but I hope he kept playing volleyball.

Anyway we were off to a great start with…two players. But still our coach/PE teacher was kind enough to teach us. We managed to have a few more people to come now and then but it was rough the first year. In my three years (well two but that’ll come later) we never had 6 “full time” people in the club so any kind of competition, even to get completely massacred by the other teams, was out of the question sadly. We would play on a concrete court ! It was REALLY rough haha ! But these courts were situated in a sort of closed courtyard space that was surrounded by school buildings and on the top floor were the Prepa classes (preparatory classes to get in higher education schools like engineering private schools for anyone not French reading this). Unlike the rest of my classmates, they liked playing volleyball. They were soooo tall compared to us but they would play with us and teach us some stuff and they were really good compared to us. Thanks to them we got the actual practice we needed cause you can’t learn enough by just playing 3x3 or worse 2x2 with people who can barely keep the ball in play (I was one of these people, I get to trash talk past me).

In my first year of high school I was taking riding lessons at the military school since we wouldn’t be able to go to our family’s house village with the more apparent divorce and moving out and other difficulties. It was an experience and I don’t regret doing it but it wasn’t a great place. I stopped the next year. And then…then I have memory problems. I cannot remember if it was during my second or last year of high school that I did it, but I would say it was during my second year of high school, that I entered an outside volleyball club. It was a Sunday lesson, it was all adults and it was for beginners. We would mostly do matches but sometimes they would focus on serves or hitting (I only remember one lesson about it though lol). It was super cool, I got to play volleyball on the Wednesday with my school club, whenever at lunch break when the Prepa were playing, and the Sundays at my outside club. By then, I don’t think I was reading or watching much of Haikyuu. I think I might have gotten my adhd ass hooked on something else while waiting for the next season and I had fallen in love with volleyball for the playing not just Haikyuu by then. Also something that I’m working on (and I’ve noticed it has gotten better already) is that I have a hard time appreciating watching people do something I love (usually a sport) as much as I appreciate doing the sport. For example, I never enjoyed watching any horse jumping competition even though I love doing it. I think it might come from the fact that I am bad at the things I love and therefore cannot truly appreciate what’s going on. As of right now I watch volleyball matches and rallies and really enjoy it.

Last year of high school rolls around the corner and…our PE teacher/coach tells us that they are closing the club down cause we aren’t enough and she would rather not run from our practice to the badminton’s practice (that she also coaches) and only work with the badminton’s club. After all they had the regional and potential national champions there meanwhile we had no hope of ever participating in a competition. And I had learned at my last lesson at my outside club that since we weren’t enough coming to the practice they would close down their beginner lesson. It was a bit of a shock to go from two practice per week to none at all. I missed volleyball. I accepted to participate at the badminton’s practices (cause it’s also a sport I like but at leisure, not on a competitive level, and less than volleyball) but it was just to keep me doing something. What happened though is I got to choose which sports I wanted for my BAC (high school diploma) since I was in a club the year prior and I chose the one with volleyball and I aced that. I only resented the top players of our group a little cause it wasn’t their sport at all but since they were pretty athletic and good at sports in general they had no problem being good at it when it took me sooooo long :’) yes I am petty.

Then I don’t know what the heck happened. Well yes I know but I don’t know why when I arrived in Montreal in my school I didn’t try to get into the volleyball club. Anyway, I didn’t play for a whiiiiile, years ! And the only reason I did again was because my best friend’s parents ( @nyaoi-warrior ) invited me to play with them and their friends when I visited. I was bad at communicating when I was playing in France (I often forget to say “j’ai”) but this was in Czech Rep, and we couldn’t communicate in English. It was HARD but I had so much fun !! My team lost all of the sets but it was so cool :D

Recently I was looking for something in my old stuff in the basement of the building. I didn’t find it but what I did find were my old Haikyuu manga. And oh god the flame it awoken in me. So anyway here is me a few weeks later with a volley ball in my hands, I’ve found a place I can sneak in just for the end of the year and I’ve been looking at clubs I can enter (and hopefully get better and then do some competition).

Now more about Haikyuu. What an amazing sports manga/anime it is. Of course, with the protagonist being a spiker most people when they start volleyball because of Haikyuu want to spike. I was lucky enough to be in the tall half of my year in high school but now I am tiny compared to most volleyball players. And a thing I love in volleyball I quickly discovered is diving for the ball. I’d be running far back or on the side, sliding until my knees burn to keep that ball in play. I thank Haikyuu for giving each role a time in the spotlight in almost every game they play, cause with what we learned in my school club or outside club I would never have heard of the libero. Ofc when you play for leisure having a libero is a bit meh but now I know that if I ever want to play competitive this is the role I should gun for (or maybe setter but I’m still pretty small so idk).

I just finished watching the season 4 recently and I’m on my way to catch up, and then finish with the scans (and then buying the mangas too). I got spoiled about what happens at the nationals after season 4 and what happens after, the time skip etc but just in the grand lines and I’m fine with that. I don’t think that it takes away from it too much. And (IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER/DURING TIME SKIP DON’T READ BUT ALSO WE WON’T HAVE A FULL TIME SKIP ANIMATED SO IF YOU’RE JUST WATCHING THE ANIME I’D SAY MIGHT AS WELL READ IT BUT ALSO IT’S EVERYWHERE SO YOU MIGHT KNOW IT ALREADY) I freaking love Hinata in Brazil. It’s very funny to me too cause here is this little dude who got me into volleyball, with whom I had an anime-level betrayal and tragedy with my clubs, and now I’m learning Portuguese because of my Brazilian friends and I wanna go to Brazil and HE WENT TOO ?? That was hilarious to me. Maybe I should look into beach volleyball hehehe.

About the ships; I started with the “basic” ones, the most obvious ones that come from the strong bonds and non-stop interactions and how they are shown as more or less pairs by the manga/anime (so kagehina, asanoya, daisuga, bokuaka, etc etc etc) but I am a multi shipper now. I don’t know I have a much more relaxed approach to shipping now, especially for big casts where there isn’t clear cut villains, same with one piece. They all have great relationships with everyone around them and I like many of them. And yeah I stumbled upon kenhina recently and I really like their dynamic. I love kagehina just as much, and also the hilarious way Hinata seems to fascinate all setters. I have seen some really funny tsukkihina fanarts too. I’ve put a lot of stuff in my queue so you got some yakunoya coming soon as well haha. Also from what I’ve heard (haven’t got to see it yet) (yes the premiere was Sunday and it’s only out today) that the movie has big kenhina energy so I’m here for it.

This little red-head guy just makes me so happy. I’m so glad I got to discover one of, if not my favourite sport out there (and that says a lot coming from a horsegirl) and I want to keep it in my life. I’m asking around for clubs and selections and I hope I am accepted. And I’ll be celebrating my birthday watching Olympic volleyball matches :D

OH ! Another thing. During my intensive studying period for my current school’s diploma, I was with friends and before we started studying each morning we would put on music or some kind of stuff, and we put anime opening blind tests and one of them had the first Haikyuu opening (which is still my favourite cause yk…it’s the one that started it all) and I was hit with a wall of memories…yeah :’)

I think that’s all I might have forgotten a few things, I don’t know at this point.

I can’t believe you got me writing more about volleyball, in English, in 2 hrs than I’ve written for my THESIS in a WEEK. This is 5 word pages WITHOUT THE PICTURES.

[meanderfall]

on my hands and knees, BEGGING the fandom to stop saying Qui-Gon abandoned Obi-Wan on Melida/Daan.

Look, if you haven't read the book, THIS is how the confrontation actually plays out:

I feel like even without the added context of the entire book, it's pretty clear that Qui-Gon is giving him a CHOICE, one that Obi-Wan seems pretty well-informed about what it means and the consequences for him.

But like, fine. Without context, it might seem that Qui-Gon isn't being fair because all Obi-Wan wants to do is help these people. I have two arguments against though, 1) other options as to how to help these people are brought up during the narrative, ones more in-line with how the Jedi operate, and 2) Obi-Wan's predominant reason for wanting to stay is not because he wants to help.

This is one of the very first options we encounter as to how this issue could be resolved, or at least helped:

This is shortly after they first meet the Young and comes from Cerasi herself, one of the leaders of the group. Asking for more Jedi support or at least broadcasting the situation so that maybe other organizations within the galaxy can help. Which is well-within their means as Jedi to at least try and get more support, and doesn't go against their roles as diplomats and peace keepers. (Obi-Wan, of course, doesn't even bother trying this route, nor does he bring up this possibility with Qui-Gon so we could at least see it being debated and how viable it would be.)

And of course there IS a more hands-on approach that they could take:

Qui-Gon himself tries to come up with a more diplomatic and objective way to broker peace. And the mission was already completed by the way. They were only supposed to rescue Tahl and MAYBE broker peace, but rescuing the other Jedi was the priority. Yoda even tells him before this moment to leave the planet with Obi-Wan as soon as possible because the situation is just too volatile, and he almost lost one Jedi in an effort to help. Qui-Gon is only doing this because he knows how important this has become for Obi-Wan. (And if anyone tries to tell me Qui-Gon doesn't love Obi-Wan, imma start swinging)

It doesn't work, of course. Everyone living on this planet has been steeped in so much anger, hatred, and revenge, that no side, not even the Young are actually willing to talk and really reach for peace. For all that Cerasi and Nield say they want Jedi support, they don't. Not really. Qui-Gon gets stonewalled by them. Both of them mock Obi-Wan whenever he listens to Qui-Gon. What they actually want is for the Jedi to join their army and help them make the Elders listen to them. This is why Yoda wants them to get the hell outta dodge and Qui-Gon feels uneasy and like they can't actually help here. No one actually wants to listen to reason, and the Jedi are not supposed to be soldiers fighting in wars. It gets incredibly obvious in the next book, especially on Nield's end that he wants revenge (a young little warmonger, his parents would be so proud), but honestly? I think we can see it even in this book.

Hey, did you guys know there's a bunch of kids living away from this war. Like, thousands of them, actually. They literally do not have to fight. Nield could take his group of kids (taking the factory working and conscripted kids with him) and fuck off and let the Elders kill each other, and only this generation would be left. They could ask for resources and protection for their new settlement from the Jedi or galaxy instead of manpower to back up their cause and help fight in a war. If Nield ACTUALLY cared about stopping the war and wasn't out for revenge, this would probably be the best choice.

But this possibility never gets brought up, ever, because Nield hates the Elders and wants "justice", Obi-Wan is too inexperienced to realize this is an option, and no one tells Qui-Gon until it's already too late and the Young have declared war on the Elders if they don’t agree to a cease-fire.

All of these options are a more Jedi way of handling the situation in my opinion. Unbiased and working towards actual peace and the end of violence instead of perpetuating it.

And as much as I love Obi-Wan and I know his heart is in the right place, Obi-Wan doesn't care about that, about doing things the Jedi way. Obi-Wan is very clearly taking a specific side in this conflict. I'm not going to put up all the screenshots I took because there are already a lot in this post (and there are. so many more i could put up), but I have quite a few where it's explicit that Obi-Wan is not taking the side of the Young because it's the objectively correct thing to do, but because he likes them. He feels a sense of community with them. He wants to help them, not as a Jedi but as a friend. He is getting involved. Attached.

And, look, I'm not here to argue the morality of that choice. Choosing a different way of life isn't a failure or flaw. Helping your friends in whatever way you can is good. Wanting to stop war and reach for peace is right. There's probably a bunch of people who think Obi-Wan is making the right choice here, and while I might disagree, I can certainly see where they're coming from. I just feel like there's a huge misconception of what actually happened on this planet and what Qui-Gon’s ultimatum is actually about.

Obi-Wan has snuck out time and again to help the Young.

Obi-Wan has used their starfighter, their ONLY transport off the planet, to help the Young on a mission that could very well have shot down the ship. They could have ended up stranded on this planet and might have lead to Tahl's, the rescued Jedi's, death.

Obi-Wan has not been acting like a Jedi. Qui-Gon knows this. Obi-Wan knows this. And in that moment, Qui-Gon is telling him "helping and supporting the Young in such a personal and attached manner is not the way of the Jedi. Do you want to continue on this path?"

And Obi-Wan makes his choice.

(And if anyone tries to argue that Qui-Gon should have brought Obi-Wan with him anyway instead of letting him stay on a war-torn planet, I'm going to start screaming. Yeah, no shit. In the real world, that's probably how he should have reacted.

But this isn't the real world. It's a kid's book. Where kids are the main characters and they go into dangerous situations. So the children reading can see themselves in them and learn how to be brave. How to navigate difficult situations. To learn it's okay to choose a path and maybe realize at some point it isn't what you wanted at all.)

[the-yearning-astronaut]

you can do fun little meta exercises about your blorbos and their vibes by pulling inspiration from other random bits of media just for the hell of it with absolutely no intent to do anything with what you come up with it's just a game but Watch Out....

[asingingpenguin]

Seeing yourself in a character the fandom hates and seeing how much they hate the character is sure something.

[phantomoftheorpheum]

hey y'all, I know this wasn't one of you, because I didn't lose any followers when I blocked these people, but just to be 100% completely fucking clear- I will not tolerate hate speech of any kind on my posts. my replies are open because I love hearing various perspectives on the stuff I talk about, but if you reply with anything that could be considered hate speech, or if you're just straight up being an asshole, I will delete your reply and block you immediately. if you put anon hate in my inbox, I won't argue with you, you're just gone. it's 20fucking24 and I am too old and too tired to give you the attention you're so clearly desperate for.

[demonsfate]

i forget that i'm too autistic for reddit until i post on it again.

[scoliosisgoblin]

just got someone asking to collaborate on a Rick x reader on wattpad. I thought it seemed pretty cute (wasn't gonna say yes though), quickly checked their account and it's all pedo and incest shit between Rick and the reader. wtf.