#I do appreciate all the love on my silly guys clones or not

[smalltimidbean]

I should really post Peppino's sisters at some point, they still don't have names like 9 months after I made them kjfdgjkdfg

I was keeping them secret for a reveal on Pep's blog, but I doubt we'll get there anytime soon, so why not! But also Scary!!!

I have so many PT OCs that I have not shown yet - and that are not clones - help khjfdjlkdsfg

[letoscrawls]

How would you rate each version of Duncan from the Dune series and of his love/shipping interests whom do you think he had the best and worst compatibility/chemistry with?

Oh i love you for this question because i've been making silly little rankings in my head for YEARS and you just gave me a reason to unleash them in the wild

So, when it comes to Duncan i think the first thing you gotta take in mind is that his original version had a thing for lady jessica (love or whatever), and it's implied in some of his other relationships that she's always there in the back of his mind somehow.

Duncan and Alia: okay let's start with the one that irks me the most. Alia is my daughter, my beloved, my everything and i hate that she had to be overshadowed by her mother even during her marriage. but it's not jessica's fault, it's stupid duncan that saw jessica in alia, and someone even told him at some point. i don't remember who, i think it was jessica herself??? also you're a psychic living computer whatever HOW can you not see that your wife is being possessed by an evil presence. GOD. i'm obsessed with the tragedy of alia and i loved those scenes when duncan realized she was gone and he started crying ugh. chef kiss. very shakespearean if you will, but yeah Alia deserved a better companion so i'd rate this a 4/10 at best. four points for the tragedy and nothing more

Duncan and Hwi: 0/10. -1183948/10. this is the worst. not even tragedy can save this mess of a ship. hell it wasn't even a ship it was just wrong. poor hwi was paired with the worst men ever and then died??? wtf!! that was terrible for women in general. Not to mention god-emperor duncan is the worst duncan of them all i hate him so much you have no idea. he was a sexist homophobic dumb piece of shit and i hate that he survived and probably died peacefully with siona. also something tells me his encounter with hwi wasn't very consensual you know? maybe the way it was written was ambiguous, but i got the feeling she wasn't really sure of it and it did nothing for the plot, it made no sense. just a bad vibe in general

Duncan and Siona: meh, we don't see much of them, we just know eventually they got together and had a lot of babies and saved the atreides. i've always felt like siona was a half written character, we saw her in the beginning and she's a fearless rebel with a mind of her own, but then in the end she succumbs to the insanity of leto II's grand scheme of things and she seems more like a puppet in his hands. i don't know i'd rate this a 3/10 just because we don't see much and i think they were forced by the events and nothing more. P.S: i would have to look on the dune encyclopedia for more details, maybe they actually liked eachother like ghani and farad'n but i'm not sure

Duncan and that Jessica pseudo clone: they are mentioned briefly in god-emperor i think and it proves once again that this man had un unhealthy obsession for jessica (an assumption based on the fact i don't like him and jessica didn't either. stay with me you know i'm right). but yeah they were happy i guess??? i'm sure if some guy resembling duke leto showed up that jessica lookalike would have dropped duncan's ass in one millisecond though. 6/10

Duncan and Murbella: oh we really are in it aren't we. now THIS is a fucked up relationship. they get a higher score because she's as fucked up as him, and i appreciate equality. But hell duncan and murbella are insanity at the highest level. She imprinted on him when he was a teen and he reverse imprinted on her and they got stuck in a weird sexual curse???? peak madness i just. i don't even know what to say, if i didn't read god-emperor before heretics i would have said this is the most insane thing frank herbert did in these books. but anyway, we actually get to see a little more of their relationship (or maybe situationship, i don't even know what to call that thing they had) in chapterhouse, they are addicted to eachother and made a ton of babies for the bene gesserit. i would say there's tragedy in them as well and even though i know they dynamics that got them stuck together is not healthy and ok and they are by far the weirdest pairing in the entire six books, i'll be honest i was saddened when murbella eventually choose the bene gesserit over him. the scene when she's going through the ritual to become a bg and he's desperate to lose her might have moved something in me. idk. i give them a pass because they are fictional and weird, but overall they are a solid 8/10 to me. and i appreciate the fact that duncan was finally able to have feelings for someone who didn't have 95% of lady jessica's genotype

Duncan and Sheeana: meh. they were meant to be according to the bene gesserit plan, and they did seem to have some sort of bond in chapterhouse. but i don't know, i feel like they were two kids manipulated by the bene gesserit in different ways, and nothing more. But since the saga is incomplete, i'm sure the final book was supposed to explore their dynamic as well. i would say 5.5/10 for the potential (sheeana was super cool on her own and i like to think they could have joined forces to take down the bene gesserit and fall in love while they were at that. but it's all in my head so idk.)

i'm at the end of this long ask and i realized you asked me to rate Duncans and not his relationships. oh well (i had a drawing planned for that years ago). my apologies

Original Duncan: 10/10. bestest boy. gone too soon. he was one respectful king

Messiah Duncan: you know what despite everything I DO LIKE THIS DUNCAN. 9/10 bc he has cool metal eyes and he's very similar to the original Duncan in a lot of ways. should have treated alia better though.

God-Emperor Duncan: get this fucker out of my sight. 0/10.

Heretics baby Duncan: just a baby. an innocent soul. my son. you deserved to live a happy life with your adoptive dad Miles. 8.5/10

Chapterhouse Duncan: a pathetic loser trapped in a toxic situationship with a computer inside his head. he did try his best let's be honest. also a skinny legend. 8/10

[saturn-sends-hugs]

ok, this has been burning a hole in my notes app and i’m just gonna send it out there:

Why (i think) the Finale was Like That:

to preface, if you liked the finale, good for you!! that’s totally valid and i’m not trying to bash that. but i know a lot of people were left wanting more, and i’m one of them. anyway, to my point:

as silly as it sounds, this show is not written for us.

we’re fans. the producers already know we’re gonna watch the show. they don’t need to convince us to give them our attention, they already have it. why waste time digging into random side characters in the larger Star Wars saga when the average person doesn’t even know who that is?

their real job is to convince outsiders to watch. to get hooked. to see an element they like, probably from the main movies, and tune in, even for one episode. if they can get them hooked with fennec or ventress or hell even rex, that’s a win for them.

the plot lines wrap up in such an unsatisfying way because honestly? they cant waste time focusing more on these characters than they have to. the people writing and designing the show might love them and want to include more meaningful resolutions, but that takes too long and costs too much money. you know what’s cheaper and will satisfy the average viewer? kill the mystery clones, cut off the “trauma hand”, and wrap it all up in a nice little “look, she’s joining the rebellion, guys!” moment because the more bland and broad the ending, the more people will understand it.

i mean, remember the Fives mention? Echo didn’t react, he didn’t even stutter, he literally moved the conversation along like they were talking about where to go for dinner like HELLO. we already know they cannot be bothered to show real important emotional scenes because that would take too much spotlight away from the whole star wars politics plot or whatever were supposed to care about. (honestly, who is watching bad batch for the og trilogy implications? woah tarkin and a couple other empire dudes are talking about project stardust definitely gimme more of that and not any meaningful connection between these characters i love)

it’s scummy, it sucks, it especially kills me that the story is basically lost to corporate greed but let’s be honest, this is Disney’s Star Wars. i could literally just leave it there. meaningful moments will always be sacrificed for shock value and character cameos because the random guy seeing an ad is only gonna watch the show if he thinks “oh cool, tarkin, i didn’t know he was in that show, maybe i should see what that’s about.”

and yes, i know, there absolutely is a ton of love and care poured into this show. i appreciate the effort that went into it. i’m just sad they didn’t have full creative freedom under Disney to give us the story we wanted.

but you know who won’t sacrifice story for money? you know who’s guaranteed to have the fans’ interests in mind? you know who does have full creative freedom and is equally pissed about bad show moments and want to do them better? FANFIC AUTHORS. Fan artists, theorists, even roleplay accounts and every other type of dedicated fandom blog is here for that shit and will reshape things however they want a million different ways because that’s the point. the show simply cannot give us what we want, but we can make it ourselves.

your support, your creativity, and your determination to give these characters what they deserve is how we can solve the problem.

i didn’t really mean to turn all “we’re all in this together” here lol but yknow what i really do mean that. i think supporting the community around you is the best option we have for truly enjoying all of this show’s potential.

tagging a few people cause i value your input!! and let’s be honest i’m probably leaving a few things out that you might be able to expand on: @the-bi-space-ace @inkstainedhandswithrings @phantom-of-the-501st

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

[angelosearch]

This has been languishing in my drafts for a while but with the new season of The Bad Batch being dropped today, I thought maybe it would be a good time to discuss...

The Actual and Potential Star Wars References in Final Fantasy VIII

Preface: For your standard nerd, I was a very late bloomer when it came to Star Wars. The first piece of Star Wars media I actually got into was Clone Wars when I was in my mid-twenties. So the first time my husband saw me play Final Fantasy VIII, he kept saying "That's a Star Wars reference!" and I was like "pffft, no way, not everything is Star Wars."

Now revisiting this game as someone who is so into Star Wars I can give you a 60-slide PowerPoint on why I love Thrawn (recent book series version) and identify characters by just their lightsaber, I can tell you: This game has many connections to Star Wars. Honestly, I will probably miss some in this post.

And it is a long one.

But first, the spiritual connection

We all know that the Final Fantasy series is peppered with Star Wars references; perhaps most notably, Biggs and Wedge. However, I like to think the connection between FFVIII and Star Wars is a little deeper.

FFVIII and the first installment of the Star Wars prequel movies, Episode I: The Phantom Menace, both came out in 1999, which means they were both being produced around the same time. They were both extremely ambitious projects in their field. But I think one of the strongest connections is that both the movie and FFVIII were pioneers in utilizing motion capture technology, and, in doing so, completely changed their medium. (If you want to learn more about the importance of motion capture in the history of Star Wars media, I highly recommend the podcast The Redemption of Jar Jar Binks.)

This may be controversial, and I adore Episodes 1, 2 and 3 so I mean this is the utmost affection, but I kind of think of FFVIII as the "Prequels" of the Final Fantasy series. The Star Wars prequel films were reviled by long-time fans of the IP when they were first released, because they seemed silly, because they deviated from what people were used to from the series, because they took big swings, because the dialogue was a little clunky at times, because the nuance of the characters and the politics was lost on some. But, the Prequels are now being appreciated, mostly by those who grew up with them. Sound familiar?

Onto the in-game connections!

I am going to try to move from the connections that I am most certain are intended to least certain.

Biggs and Wedge. This serially demoted bumbling duo from the Galbadian army share names with Biggs Darklighter and Wedge Antilles--two Red Squadron pilots who fight alongside Luke Skywalker.

Piet. Or should I say Piett? The space guy in FFVIII is named after the Imperial Officer Fleet Admiral Firmus Piett.

Only one of the most iconic lines in Star Wars history. When Squall goes to retrieve Ellone from the library mid-disk 2, Squall is spinning out and asks "why me?" As Ellone is leaving, she says under her breath, "You're my only hope." Um, Obi Kenobi called, he wants his Leia recording back.

EXCUSE ME, BUT IS THAT A TIE FIGHTER? Nope, that's a spaceship we briefly see when we are getting into the Lunar Base on disk 3.

Lunar Cry is a deep, deep, deep cut? Screen Rant calls this the biggest FFVIII allision to Star Wars, but I am not familiar with the comic being referenced. It's still interesting though so I'll pull the quote:

The biggest Star Wars allusion in this Final Fantasy game, however, involves the Lunar Cry phenomenon which works similarly to the pull of the tides. The gravitational pull between the moon and planet occasionally brings about the Lunar Cry, where the moon's surface becomes so saturated with monsters, that it creates a gateway for monsters to fall on and attack the planet. This is a direct parallel to how the Beast Wars started in the Dark Horse comic miniseries, Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi, in which the planet of Onderon and its moon - Dxun - would connect once a year during their orbit. The native monsters of Dxun learned to use the "oxygen bridge" created from this occurrence to travel to Onderon which inevitably resulted in the Beast Wars.

NORG and Jabba. I think they look alike but also have similarities in the way they move and speak.

Martine and Nida. The Headmaster of the Galbadian Garden is named "Martine" in the English version because perhaps it was too obvious to call him "Dodonna" like he was in other translations. Jan Dodonna was one of the first generals to join the rebel alliance in Star Wars. Nida is a bit of a stretch (and honestly I didn't know this one until I looked it up) but there is a character by the name of Lorth Needa who is an imperial lieutenant commander. Like Nida, he controls a big ship (Imperial Star Destroyer Avenger) during an important battle (the Battle of Hoth).

"You can go about your business." I am pretty sure this is just part of a larger trope, but Galbadian soldiers and Storm Troopers are characterized very similarly. They are always masked, ineffectual, silly, and easily manipulated. Plus the soldiers are very weak in battle. Maybe they miss a lot of their shots?

Probably not references, but interesting parallels

Mysterious parentage/separation from sibling leads to epic destiny. Squall grew up an orphan. Being disconnected from his parents and a secure sense of home, along with living in that particular orphanage, made Squall, well, Squall. And then of course is his canon event of being separated from Ellone. Those beginnings set him on his path toward his fate. His mother is dead, possibly dying in childbirth (like Padme), he has forgotten his sister (Luke just doesn't know), and his father, not aware of his existence, is at the helm of a powerful "empire" (like Anakin/Vader). Of course, Laguna's character arc is much different from Anakin's, but I can still see a sort of "Luke, I am your father" moment happening between Squall and Laguna post-game. (Side note: Does that make Kiros and Ward R2-D2 and C-3PO???)

Gold eyes = evil. Palpatine and Anakin (as Sith lords) and Edea (when under Ultimecia's control) and Ultimecia all have gold eyes. Adel is my c-c-c-combo breaker here but I also know there are other evil characters throughout the Star Wars canon that have red eyes. (NOBODY SAY THRAWN.)

SPACCCCEE! Just space. While I am out here Charlie-Day-murder-boarding it (again) I might as well throw this in. Also, sorry sequels, but Rinoa did floating out in space and surviving because of an unseen power (the force of love?) first.

EZRA BRIDGER HAS A GUNBLADE!!! In Star Wars Rebels, Jedi-in-training (AND ORPHAN) Ezra Bridger builds his first lightsaber to have a blaster at the hilt. Also, he later gets a facial scar.

A character's home gets blown up. Sorry Trabia and Alderaan. :(

Idk, I need to look more into this but something about Esthar reminds me of Coruscant. Anybody else get that vibe?

So there you have it! My Venn Diagram of two of my favorite things. That's all the conspiracies I have time for today. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Edited for typos. Of which there were many. My apologies.

[masterjedilenawrites]

So I really love all your headcanons, but I'm definitely like you, I love a happy/soft ending! I know you're taking a break, but when you have time, might you try some hcs for 212th boys Waxer, Wooley, Boil, and Gregor please oh please? Maybe pet names for their s/o or how they are in love? Maybe some nsfw like their reaction to lingerie or fave position? No rush at all! You're amazing and I hope you're having a marvelous day!

May my friend! I held on to this one because I liked the challenge of exploring some lesser-known characters! Thanks for waiting. Let's see what you think of these...

(18+ only below the cut, please and thank you...)

Waxer: When this guy is in love, it's obvious to anyone within a 20 foot radius. He wears his heart on his sleeve and wastes no time in confessing his feelings as soon as he's aware of them. He's not one for pet names, he would rather use their actual name. It is what represents who they are as a person, and just hearing it makes him tingle pleasantly all over. He gets a kick out of any lingerie; if his partner thought he was touchy-feely before, now he really won't be able to keep his hands to himself. He's also pretty versatile with positions, so long as his hands are free to caress, squeeze, and fondle, he's into it.

Wooley: This one is very trusting and often "falls in love" without meaning to. His brothers know to keep an eye on things and help him figure out which ones are more helpless crushes, and which one is actually the one. After that, they let him loose, knowing his loyalty and passion will carry the relationship from there. He tries out many pet names, often blending their name into something silly but sweet. Bonus points for anything that rhymes. He is adventurous in the bedroom, always eager to please and try something new. He reacts to anything his partner wears with little heart eyes, but he's especially a sucker for plunging necklines and see-through fabrics (total boob/chest guy).

Boil: He is a little hesitant to fall in love. He is very cautious when trying new things and would much prefer to be wooed than do the wooing. He won't purposefully string them along but he does take his time in making the decision on whether or not to pursue something. He wants his relationships to be meaningful and long-lasting. He'll settle on just one pet name, something that is unique to them or their relationship that no one else could use. He gets flustered any time he sees his partner in underwear; lingerie renders him speechless. Especially if it's a sexy color like red or black. And he 100% loves to be sat on - his face or his lap.

Gregor: He develops his feelings in private and chooses to express them through actions. He's not shy. It's more of, he's in no rush to spring a confession onto anyone. He will patiently take care of them and wait for any signs that they appreciate his devotion before he makes further advances. He will settle on pet names like my dear and my love, he thinks they sound old-fashioned and he gets a kick out of that for some reason. In the bedroom, he is very relaxed, he will have fun or make love depending on the mood of his partner. He loves lingerie that draws attention to specific parts of their body, like teasing cut-outs or structured bodices.

~ ~ ~

Everything Tag (NSFW): @damerondala, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @harleyevanstan, @justanothersadperson93, @misogirl828, @itsagrimm, @theroguesully, @clonesimp, @techie-bear

+Clone Bois Tag (NSFW): @marvel-starwars-nerd, @pandora-the-halfling, @darkangel4121, @sobstea, @rintheemolion, @dionysuskid21, @jesseeka, @hanbetired, @sarahtanmarvel, @call-me-a-fool, @lackofhonor, @theclonesdeservebetter, @hannahhearttcw, @salaminus, @arctrooper69, @katzs-current-obsession, @501st-rexster, @rebel-finn, @writing-positivelyexisting, @nekotaetae, @pickle-rick-y, @lucyysthings

(Join my tag list here)

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Rising Malevolence

Gonna try to get this whole little three parter done tonight.

This is one I was REALLY looking forward to because when I watched it the first time I had no idea what was going on but I did know that I liked Plo Koon. Well now I ADORE Plo Koon and know more about what the fuck's going on and who Wolffe is so I am excited to see how the episodes hit with that knowledge.

And boy is it getting me more already. LITTLE 'SOKA <3 Plo is just wholesome vibes personified AND I love his look, I want nothing more than to treasure him.

As soon as Anakin says he'll need to ask the council about reinforcements you know the answer is going to be No Sorry. Like, anytime the line is about asking for permission they never seem to actually GET permission. What gets me though is that we have a whole entry speech about how super important it is to find the weapon that's destroying all the ships, then we go into a meeting about how important it is to find the weapon that's destroying all the ships, but when Anakin says they have Plo's last location and then he was attacked they suddenly can't spare any ships for a rescue mission?

LIKE GUYS, PLEASE, HE FOUND THE WEAPON. HE FOUND THE THING YOU WANTED. YOU JUST SAID YOU CAN'T LOSE ANYMORE SHIPS TO THIS THING AND YOU NOW KNOW WHERE IT IS. But suddenly you can't spare ships for it? You idiots? Like, even if they think there really are no survivors, you now know what system it's in and could regroup to take it out, anything other than just going WELP WHAT CAN YOU DO and ignoring it?

I of course also hate the whole not even looking for survivors thing, but that's just my continuous gripe with the lack of value placed on individual lives by Jedi protocol.

Back in the Plo Pod though, I genuinely forgot that Wolffe didn't have his damaged eye yet, so the whole opening I thought he was just some other random clone, whoops. Doesn't help that he's not in armor. Boost and Sinker though I recognize on sight. God bless alternate hair styles, even if the bacon strips look a little silly and Sinker's rocking that Crosshair lego hair look.

I think that Plo Koon's line here - "I value your life more than finding that weapon" - is what really made me think it was worth paying attention to this series on the first watch. It's both incredibly touching on his part, extending care to clones that haven't really received it before, and kind of sad because he still is certain someone is coming for them. And they are, but not because of the Jedi council, who was going to just leave all of them for dead. If Anakin didn't 'redeploy' himself then they would have just died out there without anyone even trying to save them and I just! Hate that for them!

I'm always stuck on the 'non-attachment' point with the Jedi I know, but this episode is just a really good example of it. They don't even consider searching for survivors they just go ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and move on immediately. That's not being able to let things go that's just not caring if their allies live or die and the writers keep tripping themselves into that and then go tsk-tsk at Anakin for his attachment problems when he's the only one that's interested in saving lives here. Just ridiculous choices.

On a better note, this episode has some killer horror beats in the debris field, though, like the pod circling around slowly to reveal the dead clone troopers inside. We know that Dooku ordered them all killed, but we don't get to see the how until that second, it's just a nice little moment for Creepy Vibes that contrast with comedy moments like Sinker's deadpan 'HOW are we going to make things worse?' while fixing the power.

Then crash directly into the hope spot of finding another pod just in time to hear them dying in addition to watching it happen! Nightmare material, I appreciate it.

AND THEN THERE GOES PLO KOON, CASUALLY JUST. GOING OUT INTO THE VACUUM OF SPACE. Yeeting Sinker around with the force to take out the droids. Insane choice of solution, I love it. This episode was fun the first time but it's definitely more fun knowing who everyone is.

"Sergeant, why are you so certain no one is coming?" "We're just clones sir. We're meant to be expendable." "Not to me."

THIS EXCHANGE. THIS EXCHANGE GETS ME EVERY TIME. And Plo finding out that it's literally just him and these three clones that survived I'm CRY. He fought so hard for his last three men. I love Master Plo Koon, I love Master Plo Koon!!!

I'll be real this was the episode I remembered most so I don't know shit about what's coming in the next two, but we will find out! On we watch!

[vibratingskull]

Thank you for responding and *face palm*! I bet none of us could survive on that planet as well as Thrawn has done. Second, Thrawn was older in the Rebels series too and third I don’t think he needs to go out and fight all the time. He is a tactician and even he said in the episode that they need to conserve the men. I think he looks fine, as well as anyone could be in that situation. I don’t see the Great mothers fighting like the night sisters in clone wars. Aging is fine guys! That doesn’t make Thrawn or the Great mothers any less dangerous. (Sorry for my rant)

You're welcome. I too find this situation silly and unnecessary. He doesn't need to fistfight himself anymore with all those troopers, and even if we could nitpick about his two assassins droids that he uses to train, he's simply aging, flexibility and rapidity is not what it is anymore and his articulations must started to take a hit by now.

It's okay to age, we all do it. Why not him?

I constantly joke that he needs to retire with my friends!

He's simply past his prime and that is okay. His cunning mind and deadly strategies are still there and that's why we all collectively love him in the first place : for his intellect.

Whatever people say, I appreciate with old, aging, dad!bod Thrawn. Because having the chance to get old is the best thing that could have happened to him.

It means he survived.

[beansterpie]

B, D, J, L, T, U

Thanks for the ask moth!! <3

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

LMFAO Agohiru from ES21 😂 I remember when I first got into es21 back in highschool, Hiruma was my fav, but I didn't think much of Agon other than 'wow what an asshole!' and didn't like him. (Also I was a big Hirumamo shipper at the time, and I'm the type who clings onto One Ship for a character and isn't too interested in anything else lol) It wasn't until I got back into it in the last couple of years that I've come to appreciate how much fun it is to bat that asshole around, and just how loaded Hiruma and Agon's ~history~ is.

Though I guess no one person specifically changed my mind, unless you count past me vs present me lol. OH actually, what changed my mind was the fic "Independent Variable" on ff.net. I think I got back into es21 and was like 'you know, hiruma/agon totally has potential' and so was looking up fics of that pairing, and then I read that fic and was lost.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Hmmmm oh, Merther (Merlin/Arthur) lol. Their set up as a ship is extremely juicy (two sides of the same coin?? fate ties them together??? conflict because their initial world views are diametrically opposed????) and there's soooo much fic for them, but. I just. I don't like Arthur 😭 Like, I mean, he's FINE. But the writing of the whole show is so inconsistent and there's entire seasons where he's just so shitty to Merlin for no damn reason in a way that I'm supposed to take as funny and silly which pisses me off more.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

I mean, most shows that have mainstream popularity that I never checked out lol, though I think one that I've seen a lot of shipping art for on my dash is Star Wars? I've seen the main movies, but I think this is from.... Clone Wars, or the Obi-wan show or something. I see a lot of Obi-wan shipped with... one of the clone guys I think lmfao.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

Hmmmm this isn't even a character I dislike, but whatever-- Judeau! I like him a lot tbh but I also find him shady 😂

I like how his 'friend who gives good advice and just has your best interests at heart' vibe is subverted by his personal biases and emotions, even if he'd probably deny that lol. He's flawed and it colors the advice he gives, and he even has moments that I'd argue are kind of judgy. It's what makes him interesting!

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Yes! Main one coming to mind rn because I've been thinking about Hiruma (ES21) a lot, is that Hiruma is on the ace spectrum! I'm usually pretty take-it-or-leave-it when it comes to sexuality headcanons, like I can buy most interpretations but I generally don't feel strongly about them, but with Hiruma I really struggle to see him as anything else.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

OOHHHH. Well in Berserk, it's legit a tie between Guts and Griffith. I wouldn't like either one of them as much without the other in their orbit, and Berserk is one of those rare stories where both characters are really complex and compelling in their own way, and bring a lot of significant baggage into their dynamic lmfao. With Guts I love how sensitive he is, and the various ways in which he subverts and deconstructs the Macho Male Power Fantasy™ archetype, how at the end of the day he just wants someone to care about him and find worth in his existence. With Griffith, I love his ideals and his fragility in the face of the sacrifices those ideals demand from him, I love how much he cares and how much he gouges himself for caring, and how all of his stress and guilt and obligation still aren't any match for his love for Guts. And with both of them, I love how their upbringing informs their decisions so well to ruin everything even though they care about each other so much :')

w/ ES21, it's Hiruma lol which might be basic because he's everyone's fav, but for good reason! He's just fucking fun! I love how unhinged and demonic he is, I love the borderline slapstick loony-tunes tyle antics he gets up to, and I love his shamelessness. But I also love how accepting and realistic he is about his limitations, and how that doesn't stop him from striving for the top and going for what he wants. And like, for such an anime-level strategic genius type character, I love that such a core part of what makes him great is that he brings people together and uses teamwork and creativity to overcome everyone's various limitations. He's just-- so much fun!

And because this list is depressingly male lemme throw in a wild card-- Chase from Midnight Furies! It's a webcomic that I recently read for the first time, and Chase is the deuteragonist and a Hiruma expy lol. Which you can definitely tell, they both have the unhinged vibe and shark teeth, as well as the mysterious past and having a lot of cards up their sleeve, but I also think they're quite distinct. Obviously, Chase is a butch lesbian (which really does just add to her cool factor), but also I feel like Midnight Furies is a more grounded story compared to ES21, despite there being supernatural elements lol, and so Chase feels more grounded and realistic as a character. She's a bit more raw in her relationships to other people, and she shows vulnerability more, but she's also much more of a direct physical threat than Hiruma is. Because of that, she has moments where calculation gets thrown out the window in favor of a good ol' beat down, which of COURSE I love to see. And I think she has the capacity to be more ruthless. ANYWAY, awesome character, A+++ (please read Midnight Furies)

[alphabet ask meme]

[oceanic-recollection]

To All

What’re your favorite games (and why if you want to answer that part)

<TSF> backgammon, and mens erger je niet, are pretty fun! i used to play backgammon, as well as puzzle games, with my administrator, all the time...

<TSF> we used to go into the market, and offer people bills if they won against us. they were practically a master at everything they showed me... i was the one who usually had to pay up~

<TSF> ...for videogames, i, uh, obviously enjoy phighting. and terraria, and...splatoon....i guess...? i know i sort of, have a sort of, ~gamer persona~, but i'll admit, i don't really, play any games...

<BVQT> I greatly enjoy sudoku! And especially the "harder" variations. So far I have found Hyper Sudoku and Jigsaw Sudoku the most amusing so far.

<BVQT> I also find myself enjoying many sports games! Variations of 'football' especially.

<BVQT> Ah. Videogames also count? Well...

<BVQT> I enjoy Minecraft greatly. The slow-burn worldbuilding interests me massively and I appreciate the lengths that they go to enure that the subjects mentioned are interesting for everyone. I wish that the education edition was available on PC! I would love to play mostly unmodded Minecraft with alchemy available to me.

<BVQT> I also enjoy Terraria. The gratuitous gore is a bit of a turn-off at times especially considering the lag it causes. And there are a great deal of aspects that utterly disgust me. But it is incredibly fun otherwise! The lore is intriguing even if it is often decanonized for little to no reason. I do wish that they finished Terraria: Otherworld. Even if it was sort of a Starbound clone wasn't it?

<BVQT> Speaking of! I massively enjoy Starbound! Though sometimes the worlds feel too closed off and the universe itself too open to feel very immersive it is incredibly fun and I like it! I could spend hours upon hours simply building and browsing its many interesting mods! Even the. less appropriate ones have their own charm and interesting quirks! The community is so dedicated to making updates for a long-forgotten game I am honestly impressed.

<BVQT> I also enjoy Don't Starve though I have already mentioned that earlier here. It is fun! If a bit annoying to handle.

<GRP> OOH OHH ME NEXT

<GRP> I LOVE BALL GAME. and JELLYFISHSPEARFISHING!!!!!! ITS FUN!!! AND NOT JUST BC TABBY INVENTED IT but mostly that :} tabbys so good at gaming

<GRP> uhhhh i dont rlly like amny videogames to be honest... sorry i am not a #epic #gamer. I LOVE phighting tho!!! phunny!!!!!! me and tabby always get mvp in itits funnn

<APIS> Man, Phighting IS fun!

<APIS> You guys already know I don't like sports... Puzzle games are really fun! A digital puzzle game I've been getting into lately is Puyo Puyo. It's, like.. okay...

<APIS> I mean, the story's really funny, to be honest. Like, who even thought of this stuff??? I really like Amitie, and Ringo... they're cute. Like Goldy and I!

<WM> I do notte ofte playye videyogaymes.. Splatty is funne.

<UPSILON> I'm the same as my beloved. I just don't really see the appeal... I tried playing some online games, but they're just - why is it that no matter how long I play, everyone else is always fancier than me!? It's absurd-!

<FS> ........

<FS> i play a little of everything, i guess...

<FS> totk is... it's fine. the physics are uncomfortable, and hard to get used to, since everything's so floaty sometimes, but it's silly. i prefer botw's story... but if i had to choose a zelda game i really liked, it'd be triforce heroes, or maybe spirit tracks. all zelda games have... problems.... but they're fun.

<FS> splatoon's also pretty fun. i like th story. wish the translations weren't so terrible... shoutout to the community for fixing them, jeez.

<FS> phighting is pretty fun. i'm planning on trying out banhammer, even if i don't like his character. i can reclaim him.

<FS> starbound's fun... wish you could make yourself have a specific profession, like your crewmembers do. and wish you could bring tailors with you without mods...

<FS> ...i really like baba is you...

<FS> s fun... like baba...

<FS> b

[clonewarsarchives]

IT’S CAT VERSUS JAT! (#123, FEB 2011)

Padmé Amidala’s voice in The Clone Wars, Catherine Taber (CAT!), negotiates aggressively with voice of Obi-wan Kenobi, James Arnold Taylor (JAT!) in our exclusvei interview!

CAT: If you were a Jedi Knight, what color lightsaber would you wield?

JAT: Nobody’s ever asked me that. Everybody always wants to know about Obi-Wan. Blue is pretty good. I like blue; my car is blue, my eyes are blue. I look good in blue. Maybe I would change it just a shade darker. Gunmetal blue.

JAT: If you could be anyone in the Star Wars universe at all, who would you be?

CAT: I’d say Padmé is very much like me in a lot of ways. People think she’s wimpy and a pacifist—no she’s not! She has decorum, but when the time comes for it, she will fight. I played her daughter, Leia [in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed], who would be another great choice. I want to play Jaina Solo as well! Padmé has the greatest clothes, though—let’s just get that out there!

JAT: It’d take the whole day to get that headdress on!

CAT: She’s got them lined up in the closet, ready to go. Or maybe she just has a really good hair and makeup person? I would only like to be her for a day, since I know what ends up happening [in Revenge of the Sith]. I would really like to be Jaina, because she’s also a Jedi! With Padmé I don’t get to wield a lightsaber, unless I steal it from someone else.

CAT: If you had the Force in real life, how would you use it?

JAT: What do you mean, “if?” [In Obi-Wan voice] Well, I’d use it for good and never evil. [JAT voice] On the show, I wonder, Why didn’t they use the Force there, why didn’t they use it there? I think the coolest thing is when Obi-Wan walks into a room and makes the chair spin around, then sits down—that type of stuff is simple. That’s what I’d use it for. Those simple things.

CAT: Would you use the Jedi mind trick?

JAT: Well, see, now that you say that, it does sound tempting. Actually, just to help somebody along? [Obi-Wan voice] You want more Obi-Wan in this episode. [JAT voice] But that won’t work on Dave [Filoni, supervising director of The Clone Wars], he’s completely immune!

JAT: What would Padmé’s ringtone be?

CAT: It would probably be the Naboo National Anthem. She’s definitely proud of her home world.

CAT: If you could visit any Star Wars planet on vacation, which one would it be and why?

JAT: Oh, man. [Obi-Wan voice] Well, I certainly won’t want to go to Mandalore. [JAT voice] Let’s see, that is a great question. There’s no beachfront properties, though. I’m a beach guy.

JAT: What’s the best thing about Star Wars fans?

CAT: Hmmm, their enthusiasm is so great for the whole universe, that it causes them to be just so appreciative. When you meet someone at a convention, they’re so happy to meet you. Talk about having a good day!

CAT: In real life you drive pretty much the coolest car in the world: a custom-made Testa. What mode of transportation would you choose in the Star Wars universe? I actually have four choices for you: a) a luxurious Imperial cruiser; b) a sporty TIE fighter or X-wing; c) the Millennium Falcon; or d) a tauntaun or dewback?

AT: Yeah, I would go for a dewback! No, Obi-Wan is not going to be choosing any space travel. I would go for the greener route: A tauntaun. I know they smell bad.

JAT: OK, here’s a classic question, but given a Star Wars slant. If you could have dinner with anyone in the Star Wars universe—not just characters, but people like George Lucas and Ben Burtt—who would you have dinner with?

CAT: If I could have dinner with a character, it would certainly be Yoda because of the way he teaches. If it was a real person, I think we would all love to have dinner with George—that goes without saying! I would also love to have dinner with John Williams, because the music is such a major part of Star Wars. It would be really interesting to see what his process was like.

JAT: This is a silly one: Han or Anakin?

CAT: You know, that’s funny because that has changed throughout my life. I really liked Luke when I was younger, and then I suddenly one day went, “I like Han.” Now, with Anakin, the way he’s portrayed by Matt [Lanter], he’s so heroic, and he’s cocky. I do like the scoundrel part of Han.

CAT: You voice many characters in The Clone Wars, but which one were you the most nervous to tackle and why?

JAT: Oh, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Not for the reason people would think—the main reason was because this character is so beloved. I had to do this justice. I really wanted to keep the role. When I started doing this it was for the micro-series, and then the videogames, and I thought, I hope something else comes of this. There were always rumors that they would do this show—I wanted to be able to be attached to this character for the long term, because of my love for it, and the privilege to do it.

JAT: How is it that Obi-Wan and Padmé end up being as close as they are in Revenge of the Sith, where she trusts him? In Episode I and II, he doesn’t trust her—something has happened during this time and we don’t know what that is. I think that’s a great opportunity for a story. It would be fun to explore that because we generally don’t get to exchange lines that often.

CAT: Obi-Wan often comments on my wonderful shooting skills. JAT: It would be a great storyline that could have some action in it, so Padmé’s not just stuck behind a desk, so to speak, and you know I like my gunplay!

[houseof-harry]

Christmas Miracle | G.D.

A/N - anddddddd I’m back! Idk why, but I thought it was necessary for us to have a cheesy ass, Hallmark ass one shot that is filled with all the fluff and cuteness. So I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday moment and you enjoy the disgusting fluff I’m offering up

Word Count - 7.4k

Summary - Christmas in New York can be seen in one of two ways. It’s the most magical time of the year, snow falling, lights glimmering, joy rampant in the air. Or, the influx of tourists and people trying to sell you things ruins the entire month of December. Y/n tends to lean towards the latter. That is, until she get’s her Christmas miracle.

***

Your friends were lucky you loved them.

When they had first brought up the idea of you showing them around New York City during one of the most popular times of the year for tourism, you shut them down immediately. The holidays were difficult enough without leading around a group of lost puppies who would be acting like they had never seen Christmas lights before.

But they were convincing people, and were quick to offer you the many ways in which they could brighten your few weeks at home and possibly even change your view of the last few weeks of the year.

So, as you balanced finals and all of your other responsibilities as the semester came to an end, you and your friends planned out a trip through NYC that could honestly make a pretty decent Hallmark movie. They even convinced you to spend New Years in Time Square, despite your continued protest. You never saw the appeal of being packed into small gated areas for hours with a bunch of strangers to watch a ball drop, but they claimed that it was necessary to get the full experience. You also bargained that you would get to pick where spring break was if you went through with all of their plans.

You never liked feeling like Scrooge, but the holidays never brought positive memories back for you. Everything felt somewhat fraudulent to you. Fake smiles, meaningless gifts, ignoring the happenings of the rest of the year to act as though family was more important than anything, everyone suddenly devout Christians. You were a big advocate of always being true to who you are, and how you feel, year round. Not just when it is socially expected to do so in some performative, public way that puts up the facade that your life couldn’t be better.

You hoped your friends were right, that they could change the way you felt about the holidays. That maybe it would somehow feel more genuine with them.

So far, they've had some almost successful attempts. You indulged in gingerbread cookies, wore your fluffy winter jacket as you walked around with them to shop for your secret santa. You could even feel a bit of excitement as you picked out the perfect gift for Gia. She’d always say how much she loved leather watches, that she hoped to be able to afford one after graduation to wear to her first job. The smooth brown band you picked out earlier in Saks sat safely in your bag as you led everyone to one of the main attractions of their visit.

Soon enough, the massive, lit up tree came into view.

“Welcome to Rockefeller Center,” you announce as you turn to face everyone, hands held out as you watch them marvel at the scene in front of them, a scene they’ve only seen through screens.

“Wow,” Colin mutters under his breath. You swear you can see the lights from behind you twinkling in their eyes, and you can understand better why they wanted to come on this trip. Maybe you had become a bit numb to the Christmas happenings of the city after so many years of being around it. The obvious wonder on everyone’s faces made you wish you could see the tree for the first time all over again.

You turn to walk forward, afraid of bumping into the swarms of people that stand between you and the tree. As you do so, you feel Gia’s arm wrap around your shoulder to fall in step next to you.

“I knew we’d be able to get a smile on your face,” she teases as her free hand comes to your face to squeeze your cheeks.

You chuckle, wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her close as you squeeze your way through the crowd to get closer to the tree. “Just because I hate the holidays, doesn’t mean I don’t like seeing you guys happy. Even if it’s for a stupid tree.”

“It’s not stupid and you know it.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, your rebuttal interrupted when you hear a squeal from behind you.

“We need a family picture in front of it!”

You turn around at Jo’s request to see her already getting her camera out from under her jacket.

“Here, I’ll take some,” you offer, holding your hand out.

“But then you won’t be in it,” she pouts.

“I have so many pictures of myself in front of this tree, I don’t need any more.”

She huffs, but knows you’re too stubborn to change your mind. She turns back to your group, who now stand in front of you, positioning everyone next to each other.

You bring the camera up to your face, making sure to get everyone in the frame, along with the tree. You start taking pictures of your friends, and you can’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you watch them genuinely enjoy the moment.

“I can take pictures of all of you if you want,” a gruff voice comes from your left, and your attention goes from the camera to the person standing close to you now.

Your eyes have to drag up from the man’s chest, him having a significant height advantage over you. He has a five o’clock shadow that covers his chin, a sharp jawline underneath. His smile shows off his white teeth, that same smile causing the corners of his eyes to wrinkle. Those same warm eyes are looking at you still, waiting for a response.

“Uh, I don’t-”

“Yes!” Jo responds for you, swinging her hand at the two of you standing there.

He holds his hands out, and you carefully place the expensive camera in his hands.

“Don’t drop it.”

He nods at your command as he inspects the buttons.

“Or steal it.”

This breaks his attention from the camera, his smile spreading wider as he chuckles. “I won’t.”

You let out a huff as you nod once, crossing your arms and turning to walk to your friends. You go to the end of the line, tucking yourself under Colin’s arm.

“Don’t drool all over me.”

You scoff, looking up at him. “What?”

“You’ve got heart eyes for our photographer, I’m surprised you couldn’t feel your jaw dragging on the floor as you came over here.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, hitting his chest as he laughs at you.

“Stop talking and smile!” Jo chastises, and you listen in the hopes of Colin dropping it.

You look back at the man who has the camera, and feel your cheeks blush as you make eye contact with him. You opt to look at the camera instead, trying to forget the fact that his eyes were undeniably on you.

He snaps a bunch of pictures of you guys, and as the mom friends Jo even made you do what she deems a “silly” one.

Once Jo is satisfied, she runs up to him, grabbing the camera with a quick and uninterested ‘thanks’ as she immediately starts scrolling through the pictures. Everyone gathers around, laughing and pointing at each other on the tiny screen.

“Thank you,” you say, standing next to him as you watch your friends leaning over Jo’s shoulder.

“No problem,” he smiles, also watching your group. “I hope they’re good enough for a Christmas card.”

You laugh, probably too loudly for how lame of a comment it was, but he seems to appreciate it.

You shake your head. “Knowing Jo, I’ll have an entire book of pictures by the end of this that she’ll insist I keep on my coffee table the rest of my life.”

He chuckles, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jacket. He’s got a beanie covering his ears, and you can’t help but notice he looks better in it than you ever could.

“It’s nice having friends that feel like family. I’m glad you get to have them around for the holidays.”

It’s weird how that comment seems to sit with you. He knows nothing about you, but he’s right. How he knew you needed to hear that, you don’t know.

“Yeah,” you nod, biting your lip as you take in a breath through your nose to ground yourself. “Thanks again, uh…”

“Grayson.” One of his hands leaves his pockets, hanging in the air between the two of you. You take it, letting his fingers fold around your own hand. His skin is warm against yours, a nice change to the cool winds that have been gusting around you the entire day.

He raises his brow at you, and for a second you don’t know what he wants. He keeps your hand engulfed in his, and it hits you that he’s waiting to hear your name.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he says, almost testing it out as he lets your hand drop. “I like that.”

You giggle, your cheeks blushing as you realize the involuntary reactions he’s pulling from you. You’re not a giggler.

“Yo Gray!” Another deep voice comes from over your shoulder, and you turn to see someone who could be a clone of the man standing in front of you. “We gotta go.”

You’re not sure if you make up the sigh you think you hear come from his lips, hoping he was disappointed he had to leave, too.

“I hope you like the pictures.”

And as suddenly as he had appeared next to you, you were watching him jog over back to his own group of people as they disappeared behind the crowd.

“Don’t worry,” Colin’s grip was on your shoulder again as he stepped next to you. “Love is in the air this Christmas season. If it’s not him, it’s someone.”

“I’m Jewish.”

“And Christmas is barely about being Christian anymore. Everyone gets some Christmas joy.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you shake your head, leaning into him a bit. You appreciated his positivity, despite your pessimism. If Christmas miracles were real, your life would have played out very differently.

***

Cold.

That was all you could feel, think, see.

After your adventure at the tree, you planned to go ice skating. You had to, according to Jo. It would be a waste to be there and not go.

When you tried to get out of it, claiming to want to keep Kam company seeing as he had an ankle injury and couldn’t skate, everyone including Kam called you on your shit and made you get out on the ice.

Which you were pretty sure they were regretting now.

You’d never been confident on the ice, only skating a few times in your life. You couldn’t leave the edge, holding onto the side for dear life as you moved slowly around the rink. Your friends took shifts staying with you the rest skating at a more reasonable pace as they continued to lap you.

That is, until Colin and Gia start arguing about who’s better and decide to race, Jo trailing behind them to make sure they don’t knock any children down.

Despite your tight grip on the wall, without the help of your friends your balance fails you and before you knew what was happening, your feet were flailing beneath you. You’re surprised the ice didn’t crack as you fell, your body colliding with the cold, hard ice as your hand trailed down the wall.

You laid there a moment, partially in shame but mainly from the exhaustion of trying to keep yourself upright. You only open your eyes when you hear a chuckle from above you. When you do open them, however, you’re met with an unexpected sight.

“You alright?”

That same charming smile was looking down at you, Grayson’s hand held out in front of him in an offer to help you up.

You scramble to sit up, taking his hand, the other going to the ice as you start to slowly stand up. What you don’t expect is the amount of force he would use to help you, feeling the tug on your arm as he quickly gets you back to your feet.

It’s so quick that you can’t seem to get your footing, your skates scrambling on the slick ice again. Before you can take another tumble, though, his hand is leaving yours as you feel his grip on your waist. He manages to steady you, your palms resting on his chest to do your best to stay still for a moment. Your breathing is a bit jagged as you try to collect your thoughts, your brain jumbled from the events of the past minute, the close proximity to Grayson not helping.

“Uh.” Your mind is racing a mile a minute in order to catch up to where you were right now. Still against Grayson’s body, his face close to yours with a concerned look. His eyes seem to be tracking your own expressions as he tries to figure out if you’re hurt. “Yeah, think I’m good.”

You lean back against the wall, and he takes it as a sign to let go of you. Despite your multiple layers that separated your skin from his hands, you somehow feel a bit colder without him touching you.

“Bit of a hard fall there.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle, nodding your head as you flush, realizing he saw the whole thing happen. “I’m not the best skater.”

“Interested in a lesson?” He holds his hand out to you.

You raise your brow, not moving from the safety of the wall. “You want to teach me?”

“Yeah, Y/N.”

You’re not sure why hearing your name from his mouth unprompted affected you so much, but you felt almost as if you were in a trance. It was like you couldn’t control yourself anymore, your hand falling easily into his.

“Why?”

For the first time since you met him, Grayson seemed to be a bit flustered. “I, uh, think it’s important everyone knows how to skate. It’s definitely a life skill,” he justifies, nodding and pursing his lips. “Plus, I used to play hockey. So I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not looking to learn how to body someone on ice.”

His laughter is loud as he leans forward a bit, his body closer to yours once again. His grip on your hand tightens, and it’s suddenly hard to believe you’ve gone your whole life without hearing him laugh. You can’t help your own laughter that falls from your lips in response to him, your eyes unable to leave his face.

“I’m just gonna teach you how to not fall,” he reassures through his smile. “I’ve seen people get seriously hurt falling.”

The reminder of possible injuries not only makes you aware of the dull ache you were feeling from your most recent fall, but also of the fact you were far away from the door of the rink.

Grayson notices the change in your attitude, his smile quickly fading. “Or I can just help you off the ice.”

His voice brings you back to reality as you take in a breath and look up at him. Despite the fear bubbling inside of you, the tendinitis in your joints screaming for you to stop, you can’t help but think about what Colin said before. Maybe this was your Christmas miracle.

“No, you’re right. It’s totally a life skill.”

The corners of his mouth turn up as nods before situating himself sideways next to you. “Alright, first things first you gotta remember to bend your knees.”

You uneasily push your body off the wall, your hand still gripping it. “Actually, first things first I have to turn the right direction.”

He chuckles and nods, standing there expectantly. You realize he’s waiting for you to do it yourself.

“I don’t know how.”

“Oh.” He switches his hands so you’re holding one farther from you. His now free arm reaches around your waist. “Can I?”

You nod, and you feel his firm grip on you once again. As soon as he starts to maneuver you, you squeal, tightening your hand on his as your other flies from the wall to cover his grip on your jacket.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I’m not usually such a little bitch.”

He laughs, and that’s when you realize how close you are again. You can feel his warm breath on the side of your face, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him in fear of totally freezing from making eye contact. You can’t remember the last time someone made you feel so nervous yet so comfortable at the same time.

“You’re not a little bitch, you’re just getting used to the ice. You’ll be lapping me in no time.”

It’s your turn to laugh as you shake your head. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I’m pretty sure my only goal should be to not eat shit.”

“We got this, then.”

Surprisingly enough, you guys managed to stay standing the whole time. After your first lap around, and partially to your disappointment, you were able to skate without his arm around you, the only support you needed coming from holding his hand and the occasional grip of the wall. The only time you came close to falling was when he taught you how to pick up speed, but even then you managed to stay on your feet.

What caught you most off guard, however, was how easily being around him was. Somehow it felt like you had known each other for years, your comfort level increasing every minute you spent together. You were able to laugh together, never a dull or quiet moment as he continued to guide you around the rink. You lost track of where your friends even were, nevermind how the lights around the rink were seemingly getting brighter as the sun went down.

“So who was that guy from before that looked like you?”

“My twin brother Ethan.”

At this point you two were skating at a normal speed, staying close to the wall for your sanity, but the only support you needed was him holding your hand.

“You guys are close?”

“Oh my god,” he laughs, shaking his head. You look over at him, smiling as you watch him try and put into words what he wants to explain. “Probably too close. We do everything together.”

“That’s gotta be nice, though.”

“It is. It’s good to always have someone like that,” he agrees. “Do you have any siblings?”

You nod, looking forward again. “Yeah, two brothers.”

“So you already know how to body people, it was just the on ice part you struggled with.”

You laugh. “Exactly, you just caught me in my moment of weakness.”

“Oh, so you would have bodied me otherwise?”

You look back over at him, letting your gaze go up and down his body as if you’re sizing him up. “Totally.”

Before he can respond, your body is being jerked as you feel Gia’s arm fall over your shoulder. You grip Grayson’s hand hard to stay standing.

“As much as I hate to be the party pooper, I’ve gotta steal you away. Jo’s freaking about us being late for the dinner res.”

Both Grayson and Gia stop skating, but you move forward with the momentum you had built up. Stopping hadn’t been a part of the day's lesson.

You fall backwards between the grip they both had on you. You’re not even sure what your hands start reaching for as you flail around, expecting the cold of the ice under your body just like before.

Instead, you feel two strong arms under you. When you open your eyes, Grayson’s face is so close to yours you’re sure you would see any imperfections if he had them. His eyebrows are high on his forehead as he searches your face just like last time, looking for a status update.

“Oh my god, I’m totally ruining the Christmas miracle right now, aren’t I?”

Grayson does what he can to keep a straight face due to the concern he still had for you, but he can’t stop the snort that comes from him as you groan and cover your face in embarrassment from Gia’s comment.

“Giovannina, I swear on my life, I will literally-”

“I’m sorry!” Grayson stands you back up making sure you’re steady on your feet before letting go of you. “Jo’s got her murder eyes, you know the ones, and she’s been looking forward to this restaurant all week and we waited as long as possibly because-” she looks at Grayson. “You seem fabulous, truly. So cute. But,” she looks back at you, puppy dog eyes fully activated. “You know how Jo gets.”

You let out a sigh, nodding your head. “I do.”

She sheepishly holds her hands out for you, and you bregudgely take them, making sure you exaggerate your frustrations. It’s not Gia’s fault, or even Jo’s that your time with Grayson had to get cut short, but that doesn’t mean you won’t throw a fit about it.

“Thank you for finally teaching her how to skate. She’s a woman of many talents, but being on ice is not one of them,” Gia chuckles, her smile genuine but your annoyance only building. Gia’s intentions are always pure, but god damn she was a bad wingman.

Fortunately, Grayson smiles in agreement as he looks at you. “It was a rough beginning, but I think you’ve got potential.” He nudges your shoulder with his lightheartedly, but you tense in fear of falling over.

“Sure, lots of potential,” you mumble, letting Gia slowly start to pull you to the exit.

“Hey, is there any way I could-”

“Y/N!”

You all turn to see Jo standing in front of Colin and Kam, and you’re pretty sure you can also see the vein popping out of the side of her neck in distress as she tries to rush you along. You make a mental note to figure out who has her for secret santa to tell them to get her a voucher to a spa.

You turn back to look at Grayson, both of you standing there somewhat speechless, not sure what to say and not wanting to speak over the other.

“Thanks for looking out for her again!” Gia interrupts, tugging you along and forcing you to turn back around.

You let her pull you along in silence, disappointment quickly settling in the pit of your stomach.

This wasn’t you. You were very intentional with who you let in your life, and even more intentional with who you liked. You were notoriously single, always prioritizing everything and everyone before putting yourself in a position to get hurt. You let rationality rule, emotions only ever proving to cause pain and heartbreak.

So why the fuck were you so caught up in Grayson?

***

You did your best to not think about him, the illusive man you met one day two weeks ago. You had so much to distract yourself with, too. Between the Christmas celebration you guys did, the other activities Jo had planned around the city, and just spending time with people you loved, you should have been able to forget Grayson in a day, go back to how life was before he offered to take pictures for you.

Even Jo picked up on how you were off. You were going through with every stupid craft or activity she made you do, without a complaint. She knew something was up.

Which is why she conceded on one of her biggest wishes, one she knew you were not looking forward to.

“So I found us a house party for New Years.”

You look up from your phone at her declaration, brows furrowed. “What?”

“Instead of going out on the street for New Years, we’ll go to a party in one of the apartments nearby.” She’s got everyone's attention now, Kam pausing the show on the TV to listen. “We’ll still be able to see the ball drop, but we’ll be inside.”

“How’d you find a party? Those apartments are mad nice, only rich people live in them.”

“You know how my sister’s out in LA trying to be a model?”

You nod.

“Well, it’s kind of working. She’s gotten herself a group of influencer friends, successful ones. They’re here for New Year’s, so she got us on the list.”

“Holy shit,” Gia mutters.

“Is Madison Beer gonna be there?” Kam asks.

You laugh, shaking your head. “Dude, even if she is, there’s no way she’d fuck you.”

Kam scoffs, flipping you off. “Don’t be an ass just because your Christmas miracle was a fail. Some of us don’t hate the world.”

“There’s no such thing as Christmas miracles, Kam. Plus, it’s past Christmas.”

“Alright, alright,” Colin interrupts, holding his hands up between the two of you. “First off,” he points at you. “Christmas miracles are definitely real, you’re just a Grinch. And,” he turns to point at Kam. “Madison Beer is way out of your fucking league.”

“Ha!”

“However,” Colin cuts you off. “If she did fuck you, I would classify that as a Christmas miracle because it is still holiday time and therefore the rules of Christmas miracles still apply.”

You throw your hands up in confusion, but Jo beats you to it. “What are the rules of Christmas Miracles?”

“Oh jesus,” you mumble under your breath as Colin sits up straighter and clears his throat.

“The rules are as follows,” he holds up a finger. “If you can find a shitty, holiday themed movie on the Hallmark channel, it’s Christmas-time and therefore a Christmas miracle can happen. They usually run through New Years, so you both-” he points at you and Kam, “have the opportunity for your Christmas miracles.”

“I cannot believe-”

“Second,” he interrupts you, holding up a second finger. “Christmas miracles come to people who deserve them.”

“Oh, so that’s why Y/n’s didn’t work out?” Kam murmurs, and you flip him off.

“Kam, your already low odds of fucking Madison Beer are dwindling by the second.”

“Fine,” he holds his hands up in defeat. “Keep going.”

“Y/n is totally deserving of a Christmas miracle,” Gia defends you. “She puts so much time into making sure we’re happy. Just because she doesn’t like Christmas, doesn’t mean she’s not deserving.”

“Exactly G,” Colin nods in approval, before putting up a third finger. “And lastly, you have to believe you deserve the Christmas miracle.” It feels like he’s staring into your soul when he says that one.

You all sit there in silence, individually deciding how much you want to believe what Colin is saying.

Of course it sounds like a load of horse shit. But, it didn’t feel like horseshit when you were with Grayson.

“Whatever,” you declare, standing up. “I need more.” You swirl your now empty mug, walking over to the hot chocolate and peppermint vodka on the counter.

“A little joy never hurt anyone, Y/n,” Kam comments, holding his empty mug out to you as you walk by. You take it from him, putting them down on the counter once you reach it.

“You’d be surprised.”

***

You’re not sure how Gia convinced you that a skimpy outfit was the perfect idea to wear for New Years, yet here you were, shivering to the bone as you walked down the street.

You don’t even like wearing heels most of the time, out of fear of falling down. Gia claims you look confident when you wear them, which you reveal to her is fake. That’s always been your motto: ‘fake it ‘till you make it.’ That didn’t seem to sway her, though, so the stilettos that now dug into your pinky toes were what you committed to for the entirety of the evening.

Colin’s arm around your shoulder wasn’t helping to warm you any, your faux fur coat letting the cool breeze still brush against your skin. Your small black tank top tucked into your matching black jeans were not made to be worn in the 20 degree weather. You kept your body close to him, your arm wrapped around his waist with your free hand in Gia’s.

“We’re gonna have the best night!”

You smile at Gia’s excitement, her eyes seeming to sparkle with the lights that line the street. Other groups of partiers and New Year’s Eve celebrators make it hard to hear her over their loud screaming and excitement, and you can’t help but let that energy invigorate you a bit. You guys were getting closer to the end of your break, reality would be setting in soon, and you’d be buckling down with school again. You wanted to enjoy the time you had left with your friends.

“I’m so excited to see who’s there,” Kam agrees.

“You can’t be weird about it, though,” Jo warns. “My sister said we have to act like we’re supposed to be there. This is a private thing, they want to have a normal New Year’s Eve.”

“I promise I’ll be my normal self,” Kam holds his hands up in defense, a smirk on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about,” she mumbles, causing Kam to give her a light shove as you continue to make your way down the street.

When you finally reach the entrance of the building Jo’s sister told you to come to, you’re all speechless. You could see the lobby of the building through the glass doors, and it was fancier than any hotel you’d ever stayed in before.

Jo makes the move first, opening the door and walking in. Kam grabs it from her, holding it for the rest of you as you file in behind her, like a group of ducklings following their mom blindly across the pond.

She speaks with the woman at the front desk, who points you to the hallways where you assume the elevators are. None of you speak as she walks you over and presses the button.

When an elevator finally arrives, there’s an attendant waiting for you inside. You’d had the opportunity to indulge in many extravagant things in life, and have taken those opportunities, but this was a whole other level of fancy.

Jo has a similar conversation with the attendant that she did with the woman at the front desk. He does something on his Ipad before smiling at you all and pressing a button that prompts the doors to close.

“Holy. Fuck,” Colin whispers in your ear, and all you can do is look at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.

When the doors open in front of you, the silence from the ride up in the elevator is immediately permeated by the bustle of the party in front of you.

“Have a good time!” The attendant says as you all slowly step across the gap in the floor and into one of the nicest apartments you think you had ever seen in your life.

There’s a few dozen people working their way around the room, no more than 50. You can appreciate the smaller crowd, knowing that being on the street would have been significantly more uncomfortable with the amount of people who gather there every year.

“Jojo!” Katherine’s high pitched voice breaks through the music as you see Jo’s bubbly sister make her way over to you guys.

“Hey Kath,” she murmurs, already being suffocated in a hug.

Katherine pulls away, keeping her hands on Jo’s shoulder in order to keep her close. “How are you? Haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I know,” Jo grimaces. “That’s what happens when you move across the country and rarely call anyone.”

Katherine almost misses a beat, but instead turns to the rest of you.

“It’s so of nice you guys could come! I can’t imagine what it would have been like...out there,” she trails off, looking towards the large windows that overlook Times Square.

Jo mutters ‘“authentic” under her breath as Gia cries out “cold!”

“Exactly!” Katherine turns back to you guys. “I knew I always liked you, Gigi.”

“It’s Gia.”

“Whatevs, Jojo. Go in and get cozy! And don’t embarrass me, please.” It’s scary the smile Katherine has on her face as she disappears back into the crowd. It would look genuine to the naked eye, but she almost looked dead inside when you took a closer look. But, in the wise words of Katherine herself, ‘whatevs.’

“I see the bar,” Colin nods his chin in the opposite direction that Katherine went, and you’re grateful you won’t have to see her so soon again.

“Please,” is all Jo squeaks out before making a beeline for the counter where the bartender stood.

You chuckle, following closely behind.

“The usual?”

You shake your head, stepping up next to Jo to order your own drink instead. “A moscow mule, please.”

You can feel all eyes on you, curiosity peaking at your change of heart. You never strayed from your normal order.

“What?” You ask defensibly, as you turn around to confront their questioning looks.

“Going rogue?” Kam asks.

“Trying out the holiday joy you suggested, Kam. Any objections?”

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p,’ his smile widening as he realizes you’re letting your walls down for once.

That doesn’t last long after your drink is in your hand, however.

There’s Grayson. Your Christmas miracle. Sitting on the couch, a girl in his lap and a smile on his face. He looks good in a turtleneck, you note, but that doesn’t stop the queasiness settling in your stomach. You knew Christmas miracles were horseshit, but this just felt like a cruel trick.

“What’s with the frown?” Kam asks, standing next to you as everyone else situates themselves with a drink.

“Don’t look right now, but behind you is my supposed Christmas miracle with a girl in his lap.”

Kam whips his head around, scanning the room.

“Dude are you kidding? I said don’t turn,” you grip his arm, forcing him to turn back, but not before he’s spotted the cozy couple. The look of pity on his face unsettles you.

“I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, taking a sip from your drink. “Don’t be, I knew him for an hour. I will, however, be calling Colin on his shit later.”

“What shit?” Colin asks, coming to stand next to you.

“Your Christmas miracle bullshit.”

A laugh bubbles up from his chest as he quirks a brow. “Oh really?” “Yeah, Grayson’s over there with a girl-”

“Damn, for how quickly obsessed you became with the kid, you really are forgetful.”

You give Colin a question look, waiting for him to continue.

“He has an identical twin. Your Christmas miracle is standing against the staircase. He’s been looking at you since we got to the bar.”

Your turn your head and sure enough, your eyes are locked with Grayson’s. He’s just as captivating as last time, his warm smile on his face once he realizes he’s been spotting. Unlike last time, however, instead of shying away from the eye contact, you can’t seem to stop looking.

“Remember, you have to believe you deserve the Christmas miracle,” Colin whispers in your ear before giving you a not so gentle shove in Grayson’s direction.

“You’re lucky I’m not a violent person,” you say over your shoulder, before making your way over to him. You can feel the excitement tingling in your fingertips that grip your drink as you do your best to be polite to the people you bump into on your way.

Once you’re close enough, Grayson pushes himself off the banister, creating a space for you to stand between the wooden sticks and his large body.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

His voice is deeper than you remember, more delicious if possible. It feels familiar hearing him speak, a comfort you didn’t know you had been missing.

“You’re supposed to say that when you expect to see someone, not when you’re actually surprised.”

He lets out a low laugh, nodding in defeat. “Okay, true. It’s a good surprise, though - at least for me.” He seems a bit less smooth than last time, too. You can feel the nerves coming off him, his confidence lower. You wonder if it’s got to do with the environment you’re in.

You smile up at him, licking your lips in order to drag out the unknown a bit longer. You can’t give it all up right away.

“Yeah,” you finally agree. “A real good surprise.”

“Good.”

“Although, you know I gotta ask it.”

His smile falters as he raises his brow. “I think I gotta ask the same thing.”

“You first,” you nod your chin at him, crossing your arms.

“Ethan and I are a friend of a friend to one of the host’s friends. We’re normally not in Jersey for New Year’s, so when they found out we’d be celebrating alone in our mom’s house, we got an invite.”

“A Jersey kid?” You feign disgust, making him laugh as he leans his arm over your head. He smells good, his scent overriding your thoughts for a moment.

“Is that a bad thing?”

You shrug. “Usually. I guess I’ll overlook it, though.”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” he answers cockily.

You giggle, shaking your head at the cheesy comment. “Are you offering me somewhat of a free trial?”

“More like endless coupons with no expiration date.”

This makes you fully laugh, him chuckling with you as you feel your cheeks heat up at the implication of his words.

“You barely know me,” you counter, still unable to look away from his eyes. “What makes you so sure about offering such a good deal to me?”

He shrugs. “Call it a gut feeling.”

You feel your own stomach go crazy at that, the confirmation that he was feeling what you were only heightening how his warmth seemed to radiate off him, everything Grayson flooding your senses.

“Your turn.”

“Hm?” You hum, bringing your drink to your lips.

“What’s gotten you into Madison Beer’s apartment?”

You choke on the liquid you intended on swallowing, coughing to clear your throat. His brows furrow as he brings his hand from above you to your back, rubbing it.

“Oh my god - sorry - I just,” you take in a big breath before standing up straight again, more confident in your lungs. “This is Madison Beer’s apartment?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, looking around the room. “You didn’t know?”

You shake your head. “Jo’s sister -”

“Murder eyes Jo?”

“Exactly. She’s been out in LA modeling. When she heard we were gonna be in New York for New Year’s she got us in. This -” you gesture to the room, noticing the more familiar faces you’re seeing now that you’re paying attention. “Totally not my normal scene.”

“So you’re giving everything new a shot right before the year ends?”

“Mhm,” you bring your gaze back to him. “In case I want to take it back and act like it never happened.”

He laughs, licking over his teeth. “Sounds like a solid plan.”

***

It was stupid how well you got along. You didn’t even see any of your other friends the entire night, Grayson keeping you tucked in the corner. You hoped Kam had somehow ran into Madison at some point, but you weren’t inclined enough to leave Grayson to help him with it.

It felt like you guys were somehow meant to be there that night together. Maybe Colin was onto something, maybe this was your (belated) Christmas miracle.

“It was total fate, I’m telling you. The odds we were able to get Mando on our team in the first place, nevermind him being one of the most important people in our lives now.” Grayson shakes his head as he recalls the memories, a reminiscent smile on his face. “You believe in all that, right?”

“What?” You hum, admiring his positivity. Every story, every glimpse into his life he’s given you throughout the night, has all ended in a positive twist. He managed to see the bright side of every situation, despite the horrible shit that’s been thrown his way.

“Fate.”

You sit up a bit straighter, your elbows leaving where they rested on your thighs. Your knee was touching his, your proximity close on the couch due to the amount of people who were sitting there with you. You felt like you were in a bit of a bubble, though. Despite the loud chatter from all around you, the only thing you could pay attention to was Grayson.

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” you set your cup down before leaning back against the cushion. His arm that was resting on the top of that cushion drops, landing on your shoulder casually, but you can feel the warmth it immediately brings. “I never really did. I’ve always been the pessimist of the bunch. However,” your eyes find Colin, who’s sat to Grayson’s back. He gives you a wide smile and two thumbs up. You can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your own face as you look back at Grayson. “I’ve recently become a bit of a believer. Why?”

He shrugs. “I mean, what are the odds we not only had the same skate time at one of the most popular skating rinks in the world, but we also then end up at the same New Year’s Eve party?”

You huff, starting to think. “Well, statistically speaking -”

“No,” he laughs, nudging your leg with his own. “Fate isn’t about statistics, or probability. There’s nothing explainable about it.”

“My friend Colin is calling it a Christmas miracle,” you admit.

“So that’s what your friend meant when she interrupted us on the ice?”

“Oh god,” you groan, covering your face in the same manner as last time, shaking your head. “Don’t remind me.”

“Hey,” he chuckles, grabbing one of your wrists to expose your face to him again. “Don’t worry about it, it was funny.”

“It shouldn’t have been funny, though,” you whine, a pout forming on your lips.

He cocks his head to the side, a smirk settling on his face. “What should it have been?”

Before you can respond, the countdown from 60 begins, and suddenly everyone is standing and chanting around you, buzzing to start the new year.

58, 57, 56, 55

Grayson stands, holding a hand out for you to take. You place your hand in his, standing right next to him, there being little room for you two between the couch and the coffee table causing your chests to be pressed against one another. You look up at him, the same warm eyes he’s had for you meeting your gaze again.

“Romantic.”

“Huh?” He leans closer to you, his ear so close to your mouth that you were tempted to nip his earlobe.

“It should have been romantic.”

24, 23, 22, 21

He lifts his head so he can look at you again, close enough for his nose to brush against yours. One of his hands reaches around you, finding a resting spot on your lower back. His other hand comes to your cheek, his thumb rubbing the skin there. You grip his sweater at his sides, keeping him close to you.

“Ten, nine, eight,” Grayson starts counting down with the rest of the party, and you follow suit.

As everyone screams around you, celebrating the new year, you feel Grayson’s lips on yours. It feels like a movie, like the world is celebrating how amazing you guys feel right now as you finally physically connect with the person it feels like you were always meant to be with.

His lips are warm and smooth against yours, his every intention clear as he kisses you with a passion you’ve never experienced before. Your every nerve is on fire, your heart in flames as you keep yourself grounded by the grip you have on him.

He only pulls away as you feel champagne fall on the both of you, the confetti that was launched now sticking to you from the liquid. You can’t help the laugh that comes out of you at the craziness of it all, the fact that you just kissed the man in front of you, the man still in your grip, the man who still had his hands on you hard to comprehend.

Colin was right. Christmas miracles were most certainly real, and you deserved this one.

Grayson smirks down at you, leaning down to peck your lips once more before speaking. “Romantic enough for you?”

[androgynousblackbox]

have you seen the latest RaM episode? I was hoping to see if you had any thoughts about it! I really liked the exploration and the going off the gotdamb rails with the decoys. Also that scene with rick just. dick out and making morty peek at his ass for No actual reason sndhs

Don't forget the fact that his family didn't questioned for a single second that it should be MORTY the one to look into Rick's ass, like there was never anyone else but Morty who should be do it. It was gross, sure, but also such a... "guys would be guys" moment but not in the violent/toxic way but on the silly and unnecesary way, you know? Like Morty called it "punishment" and, sure, nobody wants to be farted into their face, but I can see Rick pulling a similar move on just any friend he feels like pranking to and, on a way, that was kinda wholesome. Okay, so I am going to pour my thoughts about this and the other episode as I usually do here so bear with me: -The fact that Summer IMMEDIATELY picked on what could go wrong about the whole decoy thing, and Rick has to aknowledge that Summer was smarter than this on this regard. This to me is talking again about how Summer IS actually smarter, emotional and socially wise (meaning with interelationships at least), that she could tell that if one Rick thinking he is not a decoy was going to make decoys then of course other Ricks would have the same idea. But Rick never saw this coming because he was only thinking of the decoys as instruments to be used and disposed, even as he was giving them actual personalities and filled their memories with real ones. He never considered they could go on to make their own because, well, they are not This Rick and this Rick is the smartest man in the universe, the guy that unironically think himself to be god, so OBVOUSLY think only HE would be capable of pulling that off. -The fact the immediately after a Rick wins while proclaiming himself "not a man, I am god!" only to be killed by what is essentially JUST A TOY, some little creature that was MEANT to be killed but got pissed when nobody did it. A literal "god" got eliminated for something fucking mundane that didn't even had to do with the main conflict. He doesn't even understand WHY this little dude just killed him, he died with uncertainty, and if that isn't the most human experience ever then I don't know. -With this episode and the first one, I HOPE this season is going to be about desconstructing Rick thinking himself above anything else. I said this before, but I don't trust fans who truly believe Rick is entitled to do anything he wants and be shitty with everyone because he is smart. It seems to be like these two episode literally adressed that kind of attitude by putting Rick on situations where not even he can get out of and revealing he is, in fact, still just a flawed human being. A major criticism that many people have levered against the show is that yes, we know Rick is sad and miserable, but the show still goes out of it's way to keep making him win on anything he wants (most of the time at least) and thus is signaling to the audience the idea that he is always right, that he should be always right, because he has the power to do anything he wants. The very first episode start with Rick about to fucking die with all his regrets ("I am a silly man, a silly old man") and then he is saved BY MORTY. If it wasn't because of Morty being there that would be it, they both would be gone. -The previous season was already descontructing Rick as the patriarch of the house and show how nobody "needs him" on the same way they needed him on the first season. The only character you could argue still gives a fuck about Rick's approval/recognition is Summer, but even then Summer was never submissive and passive like Season One Morty was to Rick, instantly believing anything he said. Plus, we all know that Rick COULD take Summer on all his adventures and she would never complain about it because she doesn't give a fuck about school anyway. But he still insist on taking Morty instead, despite his protests, because he just likes Morty better than Summer and he does not take well with Morty not relying on him. I don't fucking buy the whole "cancelling brain waves" excuse anymore because, come on, there is a million ways in which Rick could circunvent that problem if he wanted to

but he just prefers keep Morty around. -On the first episode Rick literally says "let me deus ex machina out of here". Deus ex machina literally means the hand of god because in ancient greek mythology many plays would have an element of a literal hand coming from the sky to take the characters out of any problem they are in. And it didn't worked! He needed Mr Nimbus to save them. Because he is not fucking god, and the show is finally showing us concrete evidence of this, while Rick is still the only one with this delusion on his head and this delusion is part of his downfall. The whole second episode is nothing else but Rick's ego fucking him in the ass, literally killing him over and over again. -Beth was GREAT rejoicing on Rick's existential crisis and she fucking deserved that moment, I am glad they gave it to her. -The way so many of the decoys decided to react to knowing they were decoys was so amazing. Like yeah, a majority of them decided to be all "oh no, there can only be one", but many other just off themselves because they couldn't handle not being The Original, insisting to the last moment that they MUST be the original because, well, that is what they think, and then other decoys were just ready to accept death because they had accepted there was no other way. -The only wish of Summer to be on the ocean was... so wholesome? Like it made for a beautiful scene in general, but then they dying hand by hand and just happy to be together, Rick apoligizing to Morty because they couldn't make his wish come true, such a good moment. -The fact that all those Ricks made decoys purely out of a sincere desire to protect his family, it's just great. It was still selfish to basically create life with the only purpose of it being destroyed, but it was motivated as another security measure to protect others, not just himself. -The skin wearing Rick on the swamps talking about "a Rick must provide for his family". Ricks CARE about their family so much. -The puppet Smits were so cute, I loved their voices. -THE MUPPET SMITHS. Even if it was nothing but a costume, it was cute and I want them on Pocket Mortys. -This scene is a Call Me By Your Name reference and nobody tells me otherwise:

As I explained on a server: 1. Italian. The movie happens on Italy. 2. Pool. Many crucial scenes include a pool. 3. Age difference. If they just wanted to imply Morty was flirting they could have used just an older teenager, they didn't need a literal hunk that kinda looks like the older character on the movie. 4. THERE IS FUCKING PEACHES ON THE FOREFRONT. If anyone saw Call me by your name, they know they literally fucked a peach at some point and then the love interest EATS IT ANYWAY. And what does it look like the guy Morty is with is eating? PEACHES. 5. Parents are watching and don't give a fuck. 6. I have decided. -Regardless if it's a reference or not, though, is still pretty fucking gay. -I have seen some fans theorizing that the Smith family we see in the end with Space Beth was our own, and at first I thought so too because they are with Space Beth but then I was... wait a minute, ALL Beth decoys knew there was a Space Beth. They went out of their way to show us this by always having Beth being the one who insisted that no decoy had to die, because she knew what was to feel like a copy. When Rick decided to make another family exactly as his own, he also made HIMSELF expendable and interchangeable. We don't need thirty Smith families, the show only needs one and it doesn't matter which one is it as long is one we can recognize. Why couldn't that have been another decoy family that just so happened to want to do a space trip while all the bullshit was happening? I don't think they are ever going to confirm if this was our original Smith family or don't, just like they won't confirm which Beth is the clone, but I personally think it would be fucking hilarious if they were a decoy and Our Rick just died thinking he was a decoy. -Also the way that Space Beth was just casually putting an arm around Morty made me so happy. Considering that Beth is also the mother who prefered to save Summer over Morty when their lives were in danger, I really like the idea that Space Beth sees how much Morty has grown and is proud of him for becoming a badass himself without Rick's help. That is just my headcanon though, but wouldn't be nice to have SOMEONE appreciate Morty? -Finally, but not less important... Rick knew Morty uses a yosemite shirt in order to cum. This man literally knew about the masturbatory habits of his grandson. Rick went as far on his desire to protect his family he used that knowledge for the decoys. He also told Morty to not fuck his double, which is a nice little reference to Morty literally doing that on the comics but also a subtle way to tell us that Morty is definitely Not Straight because, yeah, I am fucking counting selfcest as a form of queerness because regardless of everything else, that is still two identifying male characters fucking. We only need Beth showing attraction to some female character and the entire Smith family would be officially pan/bi.

[antonballdeluxe]

The Burden of Being Seen Online

I talk about one of my fears that's plagued me recently again.

When you access the Websites section of the Neocities front page, it automatically sets the viewing mode to the most followed Neocities sites. This is less organic, but more useful in the long run for finding indie sites. The most visited sites on Neocities are a Neopets fansite, some WebGL demonstrations, and the lovely Bogleech. The most followed are the famous Fauux, a districts site that I question if it's alive, Sadgrl, and Dokodemo. I'm friends with at least one of these people, but this intro has gone on enough. For a while, I've been on the second page for the most followed sites. It's still a long journey of a scroll down to find me, but I'm there. Big achievement. Woohoo! Yippee! IT'S HAPPY HOUR!! I'm right there, and with that, comes traffic. And with that, comes being seen.

I've always had a habit of deleting my works once I've grown too large, because being seen has usually made me extremely uncomfortable of a judgement I couldn't see by people who didn't say anything to me, only watched. Being seen is judgement in itself, positive or negative. It shatters me to the core, and feels like eyes piercing my shell. In addition, as of writing this, I have 170-ish followers on my small Tumblr. I literally just reblog shitposts and make my own sillies there. Feels weird. Audience is weird.

But being seen also leads to my goal in life -- to have my works appreciated. I like when people see my art, my writing, the shit I smear on a digital canvas and call my own. Seeing me as a person is another thing. I am just a little guy on the web, and there are many much bigger guys there that could kill me instantly. But what I want to be seen for is not usually what I am actually seen for -- my low-effort, low-time, well-timed small jokes are usually the rocket-launchers. Not the stuff I pour my sweat into. I'm sure that happens to everyone in a high-paced traffic jam of a web, but it does leave me quite miffed by the sight of it.

All of my life, I have been socially isolated in the real world. On the web, it varies. I do not touch normie spaces anymore. I've learnt my lesson -- being seen there is a death sentence to someone who is not right in the head. I slip out of a slight line or say something that isn't on a thin thread, and there are swords pointed at me. I do not understand an ever-changing set of rules on the web or in normie spaces, so I merely stay on my own. Net nomad, some call it. Vagabond is a cooler word, though.

But while I am still a vagabond, this vagabondness is now popular, because everybody else is fed up with the normie web. We gather, create our own spaces, and visit them and leave pretty messages. I have been praised and seen plenty of times here, and I truly treasure it all.

But even that leaves me on edge, for being seen means being percieved, judged, and left to boil in the minds of many.

Being seen is suffering, but one I must persist in, let myself be wound by in order to succeed in what I do best -- create. I create by edge and by whim. I pick up paper and just go at it. Many are like this, most of them also mentally ill as I am, and both refrain from and wish to discuss here. A shy artist is a forgotten one, until perhaps after death, such as Van Gogh. Love that guy's Clone High appearance, by the way.

Hey, you're seeing this right now. Do you have any thoughts on my site? What I write, make?

[loth-wolffe]

congratulations on 400! you deserve it and many more! if you’re still doing the pairing thing i’d like to request one!

idek where to start? like? i’m a homebody, so i like my time at home and my time alone. i do enjoy going out, but i have a very tiny social battery and get pretty tired pretty easily 😅. i guess a hobby could be i ride horses? i support my friends and i make sure to show them appreciation for them being there for me. my love language is quality time or words of affirmation

i’m in my second year of college and i’m studying to be a history teacher! i’m hoping i don’t chicken out lol since it’s a hard field to get into.

quirks? um i have no idea. i guess i’m obsessed with crime shows but i wouldn’t consider that a quirk but do with that what you will

thank you so much and keep doing amazing work with your fics 😌

thank you so much<3 omg ur so sweet. giving u all my mwahs 😚

celebrate with me ✨

sO. at first I was like babe u go with cody I'm 100% sure. and I was about to write this whole essay but. hear this.

fox.

the most tired commander in the gar. he just needs some love and affection and he would love u tremendously.

fox is also a homebody bc he's sometimes sO tired of being in Coruscant, baby just wants to lay down and cuddle with you okay. he likes the most when your fingers play with his curls and kiss his head from time to time. and you ask him about his day but he's not in the mood so he just lets out this sound, making you chuckle.

"why don't you tell me about your day?" he always asks, because one. he doesn't like talking about himself and two he likes how your chest vibrates when you speak, it's one of the most grounding feelings for him and when you do he always holds you a tiny bit tighter.

BUT. this doesn't mean wild nights at the 79's doesn't happen. thorn and thire are aLWAYS dragging you guys to partying with them and it's so funny bc fox is always like "only if you wanna go" and you go "but do you wanna go?" and no. he doesn't but if yOU DO WANNA then you go bc he would do anything for you, you hear me.

and once you're there it's not so bad and he wants to go home, but he also kinda likes it there with you on his side, arm thrown around your shoulders and you snuggling closer to him. he can smell your shampoo and your laugh rings loud in his ears and you give him this easy smile that melts him into a puddle.

he dances with you if you want to, and if you go for drinks or to the restroom his eyes are always on you in case he needs to jump in and push away some drunk that's trying to make their way with you.

fox wants to leave as soon as you arrive but he always waits for you to tell him you're ready to go. not before. and he never stays any longer.

his love language is the same as yours! quality time means the world to him so understanding each other would be easy. and your words of affirmation makes him go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's not news clones are TRASH for praise ok alright bye.

also when going out and have little walks around the city or well. when you're wherever even if it's on your flat or aNYWHERE. literally A NY WH E RE. you guys would talk about history facts and he tells you about coruscant mostly bc he has learnt a lot of stuff about tHAT planet mostly bc he's so close to the senate and all but he loves !! so much !!! when you tell him little fun facts about other places. it always brings a smile into his face and he totally repeats them to thorn the next day<3

also !!! lazy days watching a holo is something you two are used to, a blanket covering fox as he covers yOu. his head on your lap, your feet on the table and you make little braids on his hair, fingers dancing between his curls and his eyes closing from time to time to the feeling of your love.

"gray hairs are starting to show." you murmur, voice soft matching the air that wraps you, he hums, a muffled sound as he hides his face on your tights for a moment.

"thorn makes sure I always hear about it." his tone is calm as he faces back at the holo, and takes a deep breath when you run your fingers through his silver curls just above his ear.

"you work too hard, I should have a word with the chancellor." he laughs, a soft sound that makes your heart pump faster, fluttering for him and him alone.

"tell him to fuck off, while you're at it."

"I might," you smile, leaning over to kiss his temple, a little touch that brings a silly grin on his face. "we should take a vacation."

"and go where?" he knows this is just silly talking, but the thought of being somewhere else, having you all for himself makes his mind race to the possibilities of maybe, just maybe, escaping for a few days with you.

"mhm," you hum, fingers tracing from his cheekbone up to his nose, running through the edge of his eyebrow. "what about naboo?" he shakes his head. "bespin?" his nose scrunches and you huff a laugh. "tatooine?" the look he gives you makes you laugh loudly. you kiss his lips. "if I knew you were so picky I wouldn't have said a word." the smile on his lips is radiant, a cheeky grin that invites you to kiss him again.

you do.

there's a silence, where the movie is the only sound, and it's a few minutes later that he speaks,

"anywhere is a good place for a vacation," his eyes are on the scene that unfolds before you, and it's on purpose that he doesn't meet your eyes, "as long as it's with you."

[cobaltbeam]

i see your clone art pretty often and it makes me smile so huge every time. i’ve lost count of the number of times it’s showed up on my dash and i’ve immediately interrupted my husband from whatever he’s doing to be like BABE LOOK AT THESE CLONES!!! i really love how you draw them and how well you capture all of their different personalities. the clone enjoyer fandom is very very lucky to have you, i tell you what!! i particularly like the one of 99 with all the bad batch kids 😭 and the one of domino squad cheering for fives, and commander fox with the stRAW!!!! but honestly i like everything i’ve seen of yours, i’m on a huge clone kick lately and i wanted to send my appreciation for all the hard work you do making cute and beautiful art 🥰🥰🥰

AWWW that's so nice to know????? I am so happy I can bring you guys some happiness through silly drawings! I just like making them a LOT, and with all the feedback I get it's very easy to say "oh man I want to draw more!!!" (Not that I would have stopped if I didn't get that, but still, it's so very very nice to read all the tags and comments, so thank you!!!!!) 💞💘💞💓💕💙💞💘💕💙💕💙💓💕💙💕💓💕💙💕💙💞💕💙