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#I do shift my writing a bit
Just finished reading Pez Dispenser Debris (I don’t even go there but I am fueled by Wiki articles and a love for your storytelling) and first of all—amazing!!! 10/10, I think I need to watch this series now. 
Second, I  noticed that (while very much distinct) Yuuta & Izuku have a lot of similarities in the voice you gave them—maybe it’s the constant panic attacks or perhaps both of  them placing blame for everything squarely on their own shoulders, but ough it makes for the perfect blend of gut-punching angst. I’d love to hear any ramblings you currently have about either of them. I am currently obsessed with both of them now and am placing the blame on you <3
I’m gonna pretty heavily discuss some spoilers for my hero academia in this. I figured that was okay since you’d already read my fanfic and the wiki so the cat is out of the metaphorical bag. That being said, maybe wait to read this answer if you want to not be spoiled for more details in my hero.
Yuuta and Izuku absolutely have the most similar voices out of all of my narrators and it is 90% because they are both completely insane and in violent need of a Xanax and a nice soothing cup of chamomile tea. God I love them both so much. They should each be heavily medicated.
My hero academia is a pretty great watch through the Shie Hassaikai arc. The concept is entertaining, the characters are GREAT, and the world building is really cool.
Then the story sort of. Went to shit.
I tried for a while after that, but eventually had to stop watching. My friends and I have a group chat named “horikoshi just call us” because we got so despondent at the writing decisions after that arc.
Horikoshi. If you’re out there. If you’re reading this. Just call us. We just want to help.
That being said, my love for the characters maintains its death grip on me. I simply adore them. They’re delights.
Yuuta and Izuku, on their face, have a lot of similarities as protagonists. The aforementioned insanity and need of Xanax, of course, but the skeleton of the stories has a lot of common touchstones and themes, like:
Both characters have some kind of history with suicidal ideation or tendencies. In the second scene of JJK0, it’s established that Yuuta canonically tried to kill himself. In the first episode of BNHA, Izuku is told to kill himself by his bullies, in an act which appears to be common to izuku’s life, and the only reason Izuku comes up with to not do it is “then you’d get in trouble for telling me to do it.”
Both characters have severe self worth issues. Yuuta’s looking for a reason to be alive at the start of JJK0. He’s looking for a right to be alive. In a way, Izuku is too at the start of BNHA. At the open of action, he is told by everyone in his life that he is useless. His nickname is “Deku,” which uses some of the same kanji as “Dekunobo,” meaning blockhead. The most direct translation were given is that this is a way of calling him useless. He’s the powerless member of a society choked with superpower, and he’s been told his entire life that he can do nothing, that his dreams are pointless, and that he’s a burden who would be better off dead.
They’re both saddled with power they can’t fully control. Yuuta with Rika, and Izuku with One for All, a transferable power that’s too strong to be contained in his body.
They both have a close relationship with an impossibly strong mentor that they are implied to be the successor of. Yuuta with Gojo, as he’s second only to Gojo in the modern age, and Izuku with All Might (aka Toshinori Yaga), who he is more literally taking on the mantle of One for All from.
They both are chugging that Loving Their Friends Juice and have tried to kill grown men with their bare hands as a result
That all being said, they could not be more different characters and honestly aren’t all that similar.
I have this sort of lasting grievance with literary analysis when people take a list of common plot points or events and use them to make the argument that characters are similar or parallel one another. Like, that’s all facial. The real question is how do they substantively handle those events. How do their story arcs treat those things? How does their character react to them?
Yuuta and Izuku’s actual substantive characters don’t really react to those events in the same way at all. The analysis could go on all day in this respect, really, but the biggest difference is how their respective story arcs treat the cornerstone of their original conflicts.
Yuuta opens action with Rika as the cornerstone of his conflict. She’s who he wants to free, she’s who he’s chained to, and it’s her protection of him that makes him think he deserves to die. Izuku’s cornerstone, meanwhile, is his own Quirklessness. He desperately wants to be a hero, and everyone in his life tells him he can’t be because he is Quirkless. He’s useless because he’s Quirkless. He should kill himself because he’s Quirkless. He’s a burden and always will be because he’s Quirkless.
And while Yuuta’s arc reconciles him with his cornerstone, Izuku’s forgoes it entirely.
The story just. Forgets. That he’s Quirkless. They stop talking about it. It never comes up again. It doesn’t make any real big impact on his character or decisions. It’s one of my biggest axes to grind with how the story developed, and it’s actually one of the biggest reasons why I wrote pez dispenser debris.
Pez dispenser debris was actually inspired by this one piece of my hero academia art where Izuku is hugging his younger self. I don’t know if it was official art or fan art, and I have no idea where it is or where to find it because by god have I tried so I can find it and link it for credit/to boost it. I saw it literally years ago, thought “oh that’s cool,” wrote the original first scene of the fic (where Midoriya stops the bus and is hit by the Quirk), wasn’t feeling it, got distracted by other projects, went to law school, graduated law school, signed up to take the bar exam, and was suddenly electrified in the last fucking month of studying with this fugue state of feverish artistic inspiration. I have never written so easily or so compulsively in my life. I’d write for eight unbroken hours and it would be fucking magic every time. It was like an addiction. I was writhing with a need to create and had so much fucking anxiety about the test I was not studying for instead. The words could not be restrained.
Anyway I taught myself three subjects on the plane ride to the state I was taking it in and passed anyway so it’s fine we’re fine
The moral of the story is that this story has been cooking long enough for me to get two more diplomas than I had when I started it and I have no idea where to find that fucking piece of art that inspired it, but if I find it, I’ll reblog it so y’all can see it too.
The thing is, the narrative sort of forcibly excluding Izuku’s past as Quirkless would make total sense to me if it was used as something Izuku himself was doing.
Izuku necessarily had to hide the truth of his former Quirkless status at the start of action—he needed to keep the secret of One for All. Like, he could not let people find out that a Quirk was transferrable, but you know, just the most powerful one, and also he had it, please come torture it out of him.
But as the narrative goes on, that rationale becomes less important. He has people he can trust with it. And yeah, eventually One for All becomes more known, but the discussion is all about him being all might’s successor. Him being Quirkless and how that affected him and still affects him isn’t really discussed or treated as important. And Izuku doesn’t act like it’s important to him either. He never really thinks about it.
And I just hated that. Like. He spent almost his entire life as a member of society who was spit on. He’s had a Quirk for less than a year. How are his experiences with Quirklessness not important to how he interacts with the world?
The other point of contention I had was Mirio.
Mirio is this superstar of a senpai who takes Izuku under his wing. He has an extremely powerful quirk that’s only as effective as it is because he put in the work and learned how to handle it. He’s a perfect, eternally smiling paragon of heroism. He’s flagged early as the one out of everyone, including heroes with established careers, who is most likely to replace All Might.
He’s also the one who was supposed to get One for All.
His mentor had found him and trained him to be All Might’s successor. Before All Might could meet him, however, he found this feral raccoon child in a sewer and said “oh my god I can’t not offer him incomprehensible power within the first three hours of meeting him” and tripped face first into fatherhood.
During a rescue mission, Mirio loses his Quirk in a way that’s borderline irreversible. There’s no known cure, and the only possible one is dependent on a little girl learning how to control an extremely volatile and dangerous quirk and using it in a way she never has before.
So surely, they’re going to commit to that writing decision, right? He’s Quirkless. We’re bringing back having Quirkless characters. It’s going to be this sick as hell juxtaposition between Izuku and Mirio. We are at least going to force Izuku to reflect on his own times as Quirkless or have some kind of discussion about how Mirio is treated differently now that he is Quirkless.
But no. He gets his Quirk back by the next season. We don’t talk about it much. It’s more of a minor inconvenience than anything.
It’s almost as if the show accepted as an actual rule that you couldn’t be a hero without a Quirk. And then just. Forgot. Everything it had to do with its literal protagonist.
Anyway, I hated it.
In contrast, I fucking loved how yuuta’s storyline with Rika ends. That scene where Yuuta’s turning back to Rika, thanking her for loving him, telling him they can die together? I’m obsessed with it. I recently moved across the country and listened to that theme song on loop during the drive.
Yuuta and Rika’s love was unhealthy. They hurt each other. But it wasn’t malicious.
They just didn’t know how to love each other in a way that didn’t hurt.
They were in shit circumstances. But the love was there.
Yuuta felt guilty for Rika’s love for him and his for her almost the entire narrative. He thought he cursed her with his love. He wanted to kill himself because of how she hurt people out of love for him. It’s why I have moments in sea glass gardens where Yuuta talks about begging Rika to stop loving him—he didn’t know why love had to hurt so goddamn bad, and he’s sorry for that, he really is. He wishes he was better at it than he was.
At the end of JJK0, Yuuta truly is the last person who remembers Rika as she was and still loves her for who she is. He’s faced with Geto, who wants to use her as a weapon. Everyone treats her as a threat or a tool, except for Yuuta.
Like. Just that moment. Of loving someone so genuinely, and being the last one who does, and knowing that everyone else will just use them. I’m obsessed with it.
Yuuta reconciles with his love for Rika and her love for him, and they’re both finally freed. It’s this perfect moment of acceptance that I adore. He comes to terms with his past. It doesn’t hurt him so much anymore.
I wrote pez dispenser debris to sort of force Izuku to have that kind of reconciliation. As it is, he hasn’t reconciled with his own Quirklessness and how that affected him. I wanted to give him something he couldn’t physically escape and had to face.
#tw canon typical discussion of suicide#tw suicide#tw suicide baiting#pez dispenser debris#sea glass gardens#from a narrative voice perspective you are so so right#I tend to change my writing style a bit depending on who I’m writing#and Yuuta and Izuku I use VERY SIMILAR STYLES WITH#to the point where I reuse a lot of sentences between the two stories#I do shift my writing a bit#with Yuuta I tend to use shorter simpler sentences and have a lot of ‘distance’ in the sentences#I use a lot of ‘Yuuta thinks’ and ‘Yuuta feels’ when normally I would just cut to what he actually thinks and feels#like those are a lot of fucking words that aren’t the point. they’re dead weight in the sentence. most of the time they’re unnecessary#but I /want/ there to be that distance between the start of the sentence and the point because it gives more of a detached feel to the#writing and I think of Yuuta as a very detached narrator. he spent most of his life isolated and traumatised. the distance protects him.#he’s got space between him and the rest of the world.#I go off on way more asides with Izuku but that’s less because of a mindset I’m trying to build and more because it’s my silly fun story. I#wanted to write it ‘badly’ and break rules. I wanted the silly asides that have no affect on the story but existed in my head. I don’t let#myself do the same in sea glass gardens.#pez dispenser debris isn’t abandoned by the way I’m just burning myself out on sea glass gardens before I go back to it. I have to take#periodic breaks with stories and I’m trying to get through this one arc before I take one with sgg. that arcs the entire reason why I wrote#sgg to begin with actually. I have a LOT of stories that I /love/ that I never post because I know I only have so much time and there won’t#enough to finish them all. a story has to have something I really want to do for me to actually post it. sgg wouldn’t have made the cut if#it weren’t for this one arc that I found so damn funny that I decided to write the entire thing for the sake of one scene in it. it’s not#that I don’t like sgg to be clear. I love it. it’s just one of my much softer stories?#it doesn’t have a big climactic or intricate narrative. it’s softer and about healing.#its less narratively dynamic and more introspective and probably wouldnt have made the cut were it not for one scene ngl#ill probably finish toy rosaries next once i do that arc like im so close
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shinakazami1 · 5 months
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Just small info idk if anyone will notice but I'm taking a break from TSP :] I am so grateful to Tales from Borderlands as the game got me to once again make fanarts, read fanfics and want to create my own. First comes real life and I do hope to return as I have many unfinished projects to hopefully finish or ones to start but, we will see
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redgoldblue · 4 months
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for the drabble spotify wrapped game, if you want: i rolled my rainbow d10 twice and we have a 75 🌈
❤️ 🌈
75: America's Sweetheart by Elle King
uh. I don't know where this came from. i apologise, my partner-in-fluff 🫡
Also I am obviously not abiding by the technical 100-word definition of drabble here, but instead the much looser 'short piece of writing'.
spotify wrapped drabbles!
Steve doesn't know when he stopped caring about killing people. It didn't bother him until he started caring again.
It's not anyone unusual, is the thing that gets him. It's a nameless, almost-faceless drug smuggler that he didn't even mean to kill, but he shot with intent to disable and a little too much carelessness in a rush to stop the ship they came in on, and when he finally loops back around there's a pool of blood and a corpse with a busted femoral artery.
He's kneeling down, checking a pulse even though it's clearly absent, removing weapons even though he'll clearly have no use for them, when his fingers brush against a thin edge in the inside pocket of the off-the-rack grey suit jacket the guy's wearing.
When he pulls it out, it's a photo. He has to look down to check that it's the same guy in it, partially because death rictus changes a face, especially when your comparison is smiling and happy, and partially because he just hasn't looked at his face properly. It's the same guy, his arm around a similarly smiling woman shoulder-height to him and so close in features she has to be his sister, with a chubby-cheeked frizzy-haired kid straddling his shoulders and holding onto the woman's hand.
One of the first things the military teaches you, explicitly or not, is to erase personhood. Your own, and your enemy's. Numbers, statistics, body parts and targets and usefulness.
He puts the photo back into the dead man's jacket and moves away. A tech comes at some point, body-bags him, and Duke is there and the rest of his team have it well in hand, so he goes back to where their cars are parked, boosts himself onto the hood of the truck, and waits.
Kono walks past at some point, but they're still in the midst of cleanup and HPD handover, so even though she does slow and ask, "You okay, boss?", when he replies in the affirmative she nods and keeps moving.
He remembers himself before. He remembers when it would never would have occurred to him not to think that every person with a bullet in them is a person with a family. A person with a life, at least before they were a person with a death.
He doesn't bother trying to count. The impulse washes over him, but it would take hours with military records and Five-0 reports to calculate anything even close to accuracy.
Himself before was decades ago, but also not that long ago. It was target practice at the Academy and work behind computers in Military Intelligence and crawling through mud with a similarly young Freddie by his side.
Himself after, apparently, is sitting on his own truck at the edge of his own city watching his family and his family's family and his friends and his friends' friends move efficiently through shipping containers and body bags.
Eventually, Danny finds him. He takes one look at Steve's face; he doesn't say anything, just leans against the hood next to Steve and waits.
Eventually, Steve finds the words. "I don't think the military would like me anymore, Danny."
It's not all that new a state of affairs; he got driven by revenge and tattoos in non-regulation places and too many personal attachments and he remembered how to have fun in quiet spaces and how to love in loud ones. He started caring again.
"Good," Danny says, harsh and definite, and Steve realises with a start that the things that would debase him in the eyes of his country are probably exactly the same reasons Danny - not just Danny, his whole family - would cite for loving him. Except the tattoos, maybe.
He can't bring himself to be upset about it in the face of that.
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jakeperalta · 2 months
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happy friday to everyone except my coworker who asked if I could help with a couple of things and then dumped a mountain of work on me with less than 1.5 hours left of the week 🙃
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my-chemical-cas · 5 months
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someone should write a cute little au where john has to witness dean go through an emo phase. he kind of hates it, but he can’t figure out if he cares enough to stop it or not. it eventually ends with dean moving more towards classic rock like his dad BUT-
sam gets into musical theatre at the end
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sabraeal · 4 months
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1000 Followers Update!
Due to some super fun chronic health shenanigans, the posting for the 1000 Followers Celebration is being postponed a month! Posting will start on 2/2 with to all the ghost still standing in this room, and continue as previously planned from there. Thank you guys for bearing with me-- I struggled with the idea of even postponing for a week, but it became very clear on Monday that I would not be able to catch up with the schedule unless I took an extended break to recover. Can't wait to show you guys what I've got up my sleeve!
#1000 followers#i don't talk much about my illness struggles on here because without a word count limit#i would absolutely write myself into a terrible spiral talking about some of the very recent setbacks#but I do weekly goals up on twitter and I often talk about what's going on there#so it's only fair that i explain a bit in some tag chatter where i have to stay on task#to start: i'm fine and I'm going to be quick to recover now that i've gotten my meds#but due to all sorts of insurance bullshittery that has occurred since september/october#my last three infusions have been over a week late. two of them have been nearly two weeks or over#and coupled with a particularly nasty stomach bug + christmas stress#i ended up with extremely bad exhaustion and brain fog#and on monday finally flared#thankfully i was able to move my infusion up a day so I only had to wait until wednesday#and me and my husband had planned that I would be out of commission for the 10 days my meds were overdue#so I just had to triage my commitments and lay low until they could get me what i needed#it's been two days and i'm doing much much better. back to a place where I can actually write#probably at a better place than i have been since the beginning of December since today I nearly blew through 1K without even trying#but it's been 2-3 weeks of barely being able to scratch out what i consider my minimum#and then a week and change of not being able to even READ without it overwhelming me#so i finally had to face the music of: not only can I NOT do this on time but I need fully shift it#so that I can work without stressing myself or my limits#i am a rat gnawing at the bars of my little rat cage over it but it is what it is#tldr; i'm here i'm fine i just have to accept my human limitations and i don't like it
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shimmeringtidepools · 14 days
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Palkia looked back at the inscription before her. Sighing she stamped her glaive down upon the stone floor, the sound reverberating throught the structure.
“If he can find endless ways to bother me, I can wturn the favor.” Her resolve steady, the legend began to navigate the endless cavern.
The fog grew thick and heavy, the sight somehow ruining her perception of everything around her. Each room she stumbled into looked the same, the architecture blurring into rocks at times. Part of her wondered if it was her sleep addled mind or some sort of spell her brother had given this place.
She swore she ended up back at the entrance a few times, and yet Palkia continued onward. No pokemon dared to enter the cavern, so each footstep echoed through the rooms.
And yet…
Somehow…
The mist cleared.
Palkia’s red eyes landed on a room she had not seen before. It was grand, a large slab sitting in the center of the room. The inscription upon it was faded, but the goddess could still make put some words.
‘This is... That where life sparkles... That where life has faded... A place where two worlds overlap...’
There was no doubt in her mind, the entrance to her brother’s realm had to be in this place. All it took was to find the weakest point between both worlds.
Searching about the room, each point of space was solid. Part of her cursed. Perhaps she was a bit too good at her job. Palkia felt herself searching for hours. Upon hours. Upon hours. It was sure to be day out by now. Or at least that was what it felt like. She was never good with time, that was her other brother’s strong point.
Sitting back down by the inscription she sighed. Her eyes felts heavy, muscles pulling her to rest. Fading on the edge of sleep, Palkia stared down around the stone floor, making patterns out of the tiles that lay there. How wonderfully made this place was. Each tole was placed just so, none overlapping upon one another. The design upon each didn’t overwhelm the eye either. Truly Giratina held some class when it came to his aesthetics.
‘Wait…overlap…” Red eyes opened again, staring at each tile once more until she saw an issue.
Distortion. Two tiles overlapping, the stones ebbing to and fro ever so slightly. It was subtle, only a leen eye could catch it.
It was no wonder it took her so long.
Pink fingernails reached out, gripping upon the fabric of reality. It tugged back, however a quick tear of her arm ripped open a distortion in the space.
Wheras the world she was in held life in each crack, the entrance to her brother’s realm seemed to suck each ounce of it out. It grew quiet, extremely quiet. She could hear her heartbeat as she peered in. However hesitation never helped her in the past, and so without a moment’s more notice, she entered the foreign world.
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darehearts · 8 months
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i am doing so much research today it's crazy  !  😌💕
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arklay · 1 year
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
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i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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Imagine ur my boss watching me scribble through literally every talk we have to sit thru
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thronealigned · 1 month
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i have thought somewhat about what impulse would be like in wotr (aside from deeply hilarious, on account of them being a 20-22 year old dipshit put in charge of the fifth crusade. literally it'd just be like if you made woljif the KC). i was leaning towards aeon at first on account of the whole ego death, transformation into something cold & inhuman, the space motifs, emphasis on Logic and Reason, all that. but the focus on Justice - the self-sacrifice in pursuit of it (or at least the aeon's vision of it) - means it just doesn't work, because fundamentally impulse is a very selfish person as much as they (at least at the start) would like not to be, and i'm not sure they even believe in justice as a concept (virtue & idealism is a luxury they've never been afforded). so the real answer i think is trickster->swarm
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welcometogrouchland · 1 month
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Also in the replies of the Steph concept art on twitter announcing she was gonna be in a new project at DC (posted by Travis Mercer), there were at least 3 comments saying "will Tim be there?" I don't care how hard you ship timsteph I'm exploding you with my eyeballs if you do that on my girls post again
#ramblings of a lunatic#taking a step back to acknowledge that my stanning may be getting overzealous#but then again I'm not in ppls quotes or replies I'm vagueing on an entirely different website with no relevant tags. it could be worse#anyway I know tims had it rough these past couple of months ever since zdarsky shifted focus of the batman title to have less tim#but it still feels. idk. just a wee bit uninspired to act like steph can't go two steps without tim being behind her#im ngl i like timsteph when they're cute but timsteph twitter has been. pissing me off a tad lately#the refusal to acknowledge the sexism in dixons robin run and how it impacts stephs writing and their relationships writing#the refusal to acknowledge tims occasional condescension and hypocrisy when it comes to stephs vigilantism#seemingly only wanting her to be spoiler when he wants her around and telling her to give it up most of the time#also the constant disrespect of stephs batgirl era on there weirdly enough?#I've harped on about this on main and in drafts but despite it's flaws it's a good turn for stephs character#she's the focus she gets development (an upward trajectory! which had previously been unheard of for her! bc she did have flaws as spoiler-#-its just that both writers and characters alike seemed to arbitrarily decide she didn't have the capacity to grow past them! but she did!)#hell i saw a BIZARRE take today i just have to bitch about#which was them saying that Batgirl was a ''heteronormative mask'' steph put on#with spoiler being her more authentic self (and this being paralleled to gender expression with stephs isolation from the batfam as spoiler-#-showing how she ''wasnt like them'')#which. I'm not denying you the view that spoiler has a certain genderific swag to her but the needless dragging of her batgirl persona#steph got treated badly as spoiler bc she was A Girl. it's genuinely that simple dixon felt batman and robin would never stand for a girl-#-running around doing the things they did and would need to chivalrously stop her. he's gone on record saying this#she's constantly getting belittled by mostly men (cass also dismisses her but it feels distinctly less gendered)#and in the end it's barbara who learns to give steph a second chance despite her mistakes and they have a positive relationship#something ppl are quick to dismiss as being in and of itself sexist bc they're pairing the two girls off together#as if batgirl isn't a legacy and as if babs and steph don't have parallels in their resilience and refusal to accept when ppl tell them no#for better and for worse!!#like. idk how you took the strongest feminist element in that comic (bc there are elements of sexism here and there! 2009 n all)#and somehow turn it into ''heteronormativity'' YOU PPL ARE JUST SAYING WORDS AT THIS POINT!!!#anyway. someone take away my internet access
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helluvapurf · 11 months
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Shipping bingo: stolas x blitz (stolitz)
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*dodges fandom tomatoes*
Probably the biggest ship in general when it comes to the main show/fandom atm, and given their concept as two broken, messed up souls from different social classes steadily catching feelings as they use the other for their own gain, its def got some interesting potential going for it when put in good writing hands (*which I was kiiiiinda hoping would be the case following what happened in "Ozzie's"... buuut then S2 happened and now idk? glkjk .w.;*)
For the most part, I'd generally say my view of the Sto/litz ship is just kinda... "neutral" atm? In a way where its like I can "take it or leave it" depending on how/where its written-
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Hey Numbskull!
People of Echor - Joey Finch & Sebastian Fen (Night Shift Podcast)
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Inspired by Mary Elizabeth Frye's poem Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep (I know that I have missed two lines out but the vibes weren't right)
You can help make Night Shift Podcast Season 2 happen Here!
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notthestarwar · 11 months
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Snippet from: When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it. Chapter 5
Ghost Mace speaks to past Jaster (alive) and tells him what he knows of Jango's future, in the life he lived.
Mace's brow stiffened. "When we realised what we had done, we tried to find him but we could not."
"We tried to find the True Mandolorian's but the survivors had fled in all directions. We did try and see justice done, there was an overhaul of our internal mission preparation process. We changed our training. Dooku left the order as did his apprentice."
"None of it could make up for what we did. Years after the fact, I learnt that Jango was sold in to slavery by the governor. It took him years to escape. I learnt of the weight of what we had done in helping end the True Mandolorian's. In leaving Death Watch unchecked."
He meets Jaster's eyes. "We are here to discuss why we haunt Jango, but it would be remiss of me to not tell you that your son has haunted me every single day since the day I left on a mission to retrieve him; to attempt to offer reparations for what my peoples neglect brought down on him, and came home empty handed."
" We thought him dead, but I did not forget him. From that day, I've carried the weight of what we did to him. I have often thought of him over the years." Mace shook his head.
"You hold no blame here, but we just might."
And isn't that a thing. His son haunting a Jedi even before that Jedi might haunt him.
Jango is tangled up in something here far beyond Jaster's reckoning.
Mace is laying out the constituent parts that when put together, make Jango in to the man that is responsible for the death of every single person standing in that warehouse. Jaster isn't sure where that leaves him, because once he's done hearing this story, in the years that lay ahead of them yet, every single one of these horrible pieces is going to fall in to place. Tragedy after Tragedy ready to be pasted and slapped on to the boy he loves, his son, in order to make him in to the man that did this.
How the hell can Jaster stand by and let that happen?
There are no rules that apply to Jaster, not anymore. He doesn't care about morality or the ethics of fucking with a future that's apparently already happened. He has no care for his own code, not now. None of it matters.
Jaster is Jango's buir, before all else. He has been from the day he stepped in to a smoldering farmhouse and against the odds saw signs of life dancing across his HUD. The Ka'ra gave him Jango and by god, it can stand back while he brings his son back from the abyss.
Mace is watching him. "Jaster, you had no hand in making Jango Fett the man he became at the end. You did not abandon him, you were taken from him. I need you to know this. You should know that none of this was your fault. "
Jaster doesn't care. It doesn't matter if its his fault or not, he is responsible all the same; because he wants to be. He didn't fall in to parenthood, he walked in to it willingly. For Jango, there is no monster that Jaster will not face.
The ka'ra has given him one last gift. The opportunity to see Jango's life after Jaster, and a few precious years in which to try and change them. It may not be in Jaster's power to save his son from himself but by god, he'll die trying.
He looks at the Jedi.  "Tell me the rest."
Some of my thoughts below the cut
Some of my thoughts (because clearly rambling in the comments hasn't been enough for me lol)
I had a lot of fun with this one. I've written about ghosts before but with this one, I went at it from another angle. In this au, ghosts aren't bound by linear time. If you do something that leaves a ghost tied to your soul, they are tied to you in the past as well as the future. Jango and Jaster are both Force Sensitive (tho with a Mando understanding of it. They call it 'star touched') and so can see ghosts.
In this fic, moving in with Jaster sets Jango on the path that brings him to the prequels. Once he's on that path, the ghosts that'll be tied to him in his future, can move freely along the timeline, with each of them pulled to a particular version of Jango. Jango will obviously be responsible for the deaths of quite a few people, there are his bounties, the Jedi and the clones and so on; but when the first ghost appears he's just a kid. The story deals with Jaster coming to terms with the fact that his kid, who he loves beyond reason, even if he stumbled upon him quite by accident, one day becomes the person that will make all these ghosts.
At first there's only one ghost in their time, but Jaster can't let it go (tho he knows he should), he needs to know what happens. So he keeps asking until she admits that she isn't the only ghost and that they are tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. Then, he keeps pushing until she introduces him to the others. She gathers them in a warehouse (so Jango doesn't see) and takes Jaster there.
In the part of the story this snippet is from, Jaster has just been confronted with an excessive number of people (including children) who are all tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. He's had a (understandable) freak out, and ghost Mace has taken him aside and offered to tell him what he knows of Jango's future, and how it led to the death of so many people.
What follows is a buddy up adventure between Mace and Jaster (unlikely duo) in which Jaster tries to come to terms with what Mace has told him, and the horrible events that led to Jango becoming the man that would one day be responsible for all these ghosts. While he tries to save Jango from himself, long before he needs saving.
The idea behind the fic is the inevitability of a tragedy. There's a feeling when you're watching a tragedy play out, that it's all so unnecessary, that it didn't need to happen, but you only know that because as the audience you know that they are in a tragedy, the characters don't know. So what if a character did know? Jaster is served advance notice, will having that allow him to save Jango, or will it just feed in to the fulfillment of this prophetic future?
I wanted to explore the fact that there's only so much one particular character can do, in trying to prevent the end another is headed towards and also, the power of familial love, even when it's found somewhere unexpected. Jaster isn't Jango's blood family, he didn't even know him till he was an older child, which I think makes his love for Jango in spite of knowing what he will become, all the more powerful. The glimpse of Jango's future is disgusting to Jaster, it goes against all he believes in, but its Jango so he can't hate him for it, he loves him too much and so, he's determined to save him from himself. He's willing to do the impossible.
Then there's Mace: so in this au, Mace is sent out shortly after Galidraan, when it becomes clear to the order that they've made a mistake, to find the survivor they left in the hands of the Governor, and to right a wrong. He isn't successful, he looks everywhere but he can't find him, and in the end the order write him off as dead. In this au, Jango was 18 on Galidraan and what Mace sees as his failure to save someone that was little more as a child, and suffered so greatly thanks to what the order see as their own neglect, haunts him for the rest of his career.
Its that idea of 'the one case you couldn't close'. It's at the start of his career and he goes on to do amazing things, Mace is peak Jedi, he invents a new form, he's one of the youngest Jedi to be elected to the council, he ends up heading that council, but he is still human (or near human lol sw complicates everything. he's 100% human in a fallible/emotional/sapient sense) I think that as a Master Jedi he's very aware of his own weaknesses, and he tries to work through it, he talks to it with other Jedi, and he certainly doesn't let it affect his judgement, but he can't forget it all the same.
So it's this version of Mace that ended up meeting Jango in the arena. Which I think adds such an interesting angle.
#Jaster Mereel#Mace#I've been thinking about this one (and a part of chapter 7 which i might post as another snippet)#cause i saw a poll talking about who was responsible for Jango's death and I've got a lot of opinions about that#that can not be contained by a poll lol. it's something i explored in this fic#pretty much. i think that Mace had no choice but i don't think he'd agree with that. i think he'd struggle with having killed Jango and#how he killed him. (decapitation. a particularly violent move. which i don't think he had a choice in. but yeah think he'd struggle)#i think that Jango pretty much ensured his own end and was too intelligent to not realise he was doing that so i think that was a#self hatred/survivors guilt/'i have lived past my end' kind of thing#i also think that Jango was only the person that always would have brought death upon himself like that because his past made him so#and i think his past was bad enough to make him that because it suited the greater narrative to have him end up like that#it suited palps ends pretty much. did palps know he was doing that or did the universe just work in his favour? who knows.#still worked out well for him#the poll got me thinking about Mace which got me thinking about this fic but writing about the fic has me thinking about this fic again#kinda tempted to go through it again and give it a bit of a face lift. old once over. shine it up a bit#I've always hated that it's 17 chapters tbh. want it to be 15 or 20. i don't think I'll address that this time tho.#might just try an edit however#has this???? no i won't say it. not to curse it but... the editing/ read back block may... be shifting. possibly.#considering an edit hadn't seemed so possible in a while.#there are so many things i need to look over once i can lol I've posted things still in draft state#that's cool tho. no problem. not thinking about that just thinking about how nice it would be to give this old thing a shine#Mace is so ready here to absorb all the blame for everything on the order (and by extension him) but its really not on them
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rubberbandballqueen · 9 months
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hmm i have like, 500-600 taiwan dollars leftover in a tin from the last time i visited relatives... i wonder what would happen if i just handed it to my little cousins like. "yep. here is gift. have fun."
#i heard them trying to sound out 'eidelweiss' on the piano so i've also been thinking of giving them this little music box i bought#a while back that plays eidelweiss. put it in little box with money and letter that is like. 'hello. cousin cares about you.'#'but cousin is awkward and has bad hearing and speaking skills. anyway here's some money and a music box for you.'#i checked n it's like the equivalent of almost 20 usd so like. that's an appropriate gift for nine-year-olds i think#today at work i was cutting glow sticks in half for our craft and i was not wearing any gloves so i got minor chemical burns <3#like part of the skin on my thumb n pointer finger got bleached so i went around n showed alllll the kids#like. 'hey. check out my chemical burn. this is why we wouldn't let you guys cut open the glow sticks yourselves.'#'because it will do This to you if you touch them too long. this is why we had you wash your hands when you finished.'#n some of them were like 'just wash it off' n i was like. 'it is a chemical burn. it is on my skin.'#at least i Think it was a chemical burn but i mean it was very minor (makes sense bc it's just glow sticks) so the skin's flaked off by now#similar happens when i touch my hair bleach w/o gloves so i'm Pretty Sure it was chemical burns#we had a table of kids who were speaking cn to each other so at some point i pieced together they didn't seem to pay attn. bc low en skills#anyway i broke my own rule abt no phones at work to look up 'chemical burns' in cn for them bc although they know i speak Some cn#(by giving them minor instructions for the glow stick craft) i was like. 'chemical burns... how to say....'#apparently they are mostly from taiwan which is fun i love it when i Don't receive microaggressions for writing in traditional c':#today's my only camp shift for the week tho... one of my coworkers died last week so i told my boss i could pick up his camp shifts#if no one else had but apparently i'd go over hours this week... feelsbad man. it's summer + we're always understaffed#so there's gonna be a point when the front desk worker is gonna be covering the camps for a little bit which is. i feel bad ahaha#the worm speaks
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