#tw canon typical discussion of suicide

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just finished reading Pez Dispenser Debris (I don’t even go there but I am fueled by Wiki articles and a love for your storytelling) and first of all—amazing!!! 10/10, I think I need to watch this series now. 

Second, I  noticed that (while very much distinct) Yuuta & Izuku have a lot of similarities in the voice you gave them—maybe it’s the constant panic attacks or perhaps both of  them placing blame for everything squarely on their own shoulders, but ough it makes for the perfect blend of gut-punching angst. I’d love to hear any ramblings you currently have about either of them. I am currently obsessed with both of them now and am placing the blame on you <3

I’m gonna pretty heavily discuss some spoilers for my hero academia in this. I figured that was okay since you’d already read my fanfic and the wiki so the cat is out of the metaphorical bag. That being said, maybe wait to read this answer if you want to not be spoiled for more details in my hero.

Yuuta and Izuku absolutely have the most similar voices out of all of my narrators and it is 90% because they are both completely insane and in violent need of a Xanax and a nice soothing cup of chamomile tea. God I love them both so much. They should each be heavily medicated.

My hero academia is a pretty great watch through the Shie Hassaikai arc. The concept is entertaining, the characters are GREAT, and the world building is really cool.

Then the story sort of. Went to shit.

I tried for a while after that, but eventually had to stop watching. My friends and I have a group chat named “horikoshi just call us” because we got so despondent at the writing decisions after that arc.

Horikoshi. If you’re out there. If you’re reading this. Just call us. We just want to help.

That being said, my love for the characters maintains its death grip on me. I simply adore them. They’re delights.

Yuuta and Izuku, on their face, have a lot of similarities as protagonists. The aforementioned insanity and need of Xanax, of course, but the skeleton of the stories has a lot of common touchstones and themes, like:

Both characters have some kind of history with suicidal ideation or tendencies. In the second scene of JJK0, it’s established that Yuuta canonically tried to kill himself. In the first episode of BNHA, Izuku is told to kill himself by his bullies, in an act which appears to be common to izuku’s life, and the only reason Izuku comes up with to not do it is “then you’d get in trouble for telling me to do it.”

Both characters have severe self worth issues. Yuuta’s looking for a reason to be alive at the start of JJK0. He’s looking for a right to be alive. In a way, Izuku is too at the start of BNHA. At the open of action, he is told by everyone in his life that he is useless. His nickname is “Deku,” which uses some of the same kanji as “Dekunobo,” meaning blockhead. The most direct translation were given is that this is a way of calling him useless. He’s the powerless member of a society choked with superpower, and he’s been told his entire life that he can do nothing, that his dreams are pointless, and that he’s a burden who would be better off dead.

They’re both saddled with power they can’t fully control. Yuuta with Rika, and Izuku with One for All, a transferable power that’s too strong to be contained in his body.

They both have a close relationship with an impossibly strong mentor that they are implied to be the successor of. Yuuta with Gojo, as he’s second only to Gojo in the modern age, and Izuku with All Might (aka Toshinori Yaga), who he is more literally taking on the mantle of One for All from.

They both are chugging that Loving Their Friends Juice and have tried to kill grown men with their bare hands as a result

That all being said, they could not be more different characters and honestly aren’t all that similar.

I have this sort of lasting grievance with literary analysis when people take a list of common plot points or events and use them to make the argument that characters are similar or parallel one another. Like, that’s all facial. The real question is how do they substantively handle those events. How do their story arcs treat those things? How does their character react to them?

Yuuta and Izuku’s actual substantive characters don’t really react to those events in the same way at all. The analysis could go on all day in this respect, really, but the biggest difference is how their respective story arcs treat the cornerstone of their original conflicts.

Yuuta opens action with Rika as the cornerstone of his conflict. She’s who he wants to free, she’s who he’s chained to, and it’s her protection of him that makes him think he deserves to die. Izuku’s cornerstone, meanwhile, is his own Quirklessness. He desperately wants to be a hero, and everyone in his life tells him he can’t be because he is Quirkless. He’s useless because he’s Quirkless. He should kill himself because he’s Quirkless. He’s a burden and always will be because he’s Quirkless.

And while Yuuta’s arc reconciles him with his cornerstone, Izuku’s forgoes it entirely.

The story just. Forgets. That he’s Quirkless. They stop talking about it. It never comes up again. It doesn’t make any real big impact on his character or decisions. It’s one of my biggest axes to grind with how the story developed, and it’s actually one of the biggest reasons why I wrote pez dispenser debris.

Pez dispenser debris was actually inspired by this one piece of my hero academia art where Izuku is hugging his younger self. I don’t know if it was official art or fan art, and I have no idea where it is or where to find it because by god have I tried so I can find it and link it for credit/to boost it. I saw it literally years ago, thought “oh that’s cool,” wrote the original first scene of the fic (where Midoriya stops the bus and is hit by the Quirk), wasn’t feeling it, got distracted by other projects, went to law school, graduated law school, signed up to take the bar exam, and was suddenly electrified in the last fucking month of studying with this fugue state of feverish artistic inspiration. I have never written so easily or so compulsively in my life. I’d write for eight unbroken hours and it would be fucking magic every time. It was like an addiction. I was writhing with a need to create and had so much fucking anxiety about the test I was not studying for instead. The words could not be restrained.

Anyway I taught myself three subjects on the plane ride to the state I was taking it in and passed anyway so it’s fine we’re fine

The moral of the story is that this story has been cooking long enough for me to get two more diplomas than I had when I started it and I have no idea where to find that fucking piece of art that inspired it, but if I find it, I’ll reblog it so y’all can see it too.

The thing is, the narrative sort of forcibly excluding Izuku’s past as Quirkless would make total sense to me if it was used as something Izuku himself was doing.

Izuku necessarily had to hide the truth of his former Quirkless status at the start of action—he needed to keep the secret of One for All. Like, he could not let people find out that a Quirk was transferrable, but you know, just the most powerful one, and also he had it, please come torture it out of him.

But as the narrative goes on, that rationale becomes less important. He has people he can trust with it. And yeah, eventually One for All becomes more known, but the discussion is all about him being all might’s successor. Him being Quirkless and how that affected him and still affects him isn’t really discussed or treated as important. And Izuku doesn’t act like it’s important to him either. He never really thinks about it.

And I just hated that. Like. He spent almost his entire life as a member of society who was spit on. He’s had a Quirk for less than a year. How are his experiences with Quirklessness not important to how he interacts with the world?

The other point of contention I had was Mirio.

Mirio is this superstar of a senpai who takes Izuku under his wing. He has an extremely powerful quirk that’s only as effective as it is because he put in the work and learned how to handle it. He’s a perfect, eternally smiling paragon of heroism. He’s flagged early as the one out of everyone, including heroes with established careers, who is most likely to replace All Might.

He’s also the one who was supposed to get One for All.

His mentor had found him and trained him to be All Might’s successor. Before All Might could meet him, however, he found this feral raccoon child in a sewer and said “oh my god I can’t not offer him incomprehensible power within the first three hours of meeting him” and tripped face first into fatherhood.

During a rescue mission, Mirio loses his Quirk in a way that’s borderline irreversible. There’s no known cure, and the only possible one is dependent on a little girl learning how to control an extremely volatile and dangerous quirk and using it in a way she never has before.

So surely, they’re going to commit to that writing decision, right? He’s Quirkless. We’re bringing back having Quirkless characters. It’s going to be this sick as hell juxtaposition between Izuku and Mirio. We are at least going to force Izuku to reflect on his own times as Quirkless or have some kind of discussion about how Mirio is treated differently now that he is Quirkless.

But no. He gets his Quirk back by the next season. We don’t talk about it much. It’s more of a minor inconvenience than anything.

It’s almost as if the show accepted as an actual rule that you couldn’t be a hero without a Quirk. And then just. Forgot. Everything it had to do with its literal protagonist.

Anyway, I hated it.

In contrast, I fucking loved how yuuta’s storyline with Rika ends. That scene where Yuuta’s turning back to Rika, thanking her for loving him, telling him they can die together? I’m obsessed with it. I recently moved across the country and listened to that theme song on loop during the drive.

Yuuta and Rika’s love was unhealthy. They hurt each other. But it wasn’t malicious.

They just didn’t know how to love each other in a way that didn’t hurt.

They were in shit circumstances. But the love was there.

Yuuta felt guilty for Rika’s love for him and his for her almost the entire narrative. He thought he cursed her with his love. He wanted to kill himself because of how she hurt people out of love for him. It’s why I have moments in sea glass gardens where Yuuta talks about begging Rika to stop loving him—he didn’t know why love had to hurt so goddamn bad, and he’s sorry for that, he really is. He wishes he was better at it than he was.

At the end of JJK0, Yuuta truly is the last person who remembers Rika as she was and still loves her for who she is. He’s faced with Geto, who wants to use her as a weapon. Everyone treats her as a threat or a tool, except for Yuuta.

Like. Just that moment. Of loving someone so genuinely, and being the last one who does, and knowing that everyone else will just use them. I’m obsessed with it.

Yuuta reconciles with his love for Rika and her love for him, and they’re both finally freed. It’s this perfect moment of acceptance that I adore. He comes to terms with his past. It doesn’t hurt him so much anymore.

I wrote pez dispenser debris to sort of force Izuku to have that kind of reconciliation. As it is, he hasn’t reconciled with his own Quirklessness and how that affected him. I wanted to give him something he couldn’t physically escape and had to face.

[rhiaarrow]

Today's Ramble comes to you in the form of hundreds of hypothetical question trains that have been going through my head since Fit's lore stream.

There's no real structure to this shit since it's just been compiled in a draft over the past few days so it's a real ramble of nonsense!

TWs for; canon typical cannibalism, slightly graphic mentions of injuries (broken bones), corpses, vague suicidal thoughts, brief mentions of dissociation

Y'know the normal shit when discussing qFitMC of 2B2T! (if I missed any relevant TWs let me know 🫠)

This ramble is a longer one just because it's been compiled together but it's all qFit characterisation lore relevant so yeah! Don't worry if you get lost reading it or give up on reading it all. I did that and it's my own ramble!

Reposted because I originally published this at the fucking ass crack of dawn when no one is awake and it got drowned in the tags xD

I am a big fan of the character lore implications of Madagio's first words to qFit;

so all of these question trains lead back to this line here! I love it so much!

(God bless the bald man's storytelling ability. This single line and his cinematic scenes have had me bouncing off the walls for days so without further ado, enjoy the needlessly long ramble.)

When Madagio knocked him into the Cavern of Corpses it took over half his health and with no food to eat he has no way to quickly regen his hearts, to heal.

In the wasteland, in early days, he ate rotten flesh to survive, would he do it again?

Would he be willing to return to the necessary savagery in order to stay alive?

Would he crawl over to the nearest corpse when the hunger got to be too much to deal with without satiation?

Would he give into his survivalist instincts just to avoid death by starvation when it got too close? Would he eat only what he had to in order to survive?

Would eat just enough for the saturation to regen, to heal his injuries from the fall?

OR would he go further, eating until he was full?

Did he miss the taste?

OR would he stop himself entirely and not touch them, remembering his boyfriend's own trauma?

Would he wonder if Pac would be reminded of Cell if Fit did what he felt he had to do?

Would he drive himself to starvation, not touching the corpses, just to prevent his boyfriend from seeing him with that same fear?

Would his newfound emotional attachments overpower his survivalist instincts?

Is he no longer able to commit such an act without thinking of the moral implications?

Did he consider the moral implications back in the early days of the wasteland when it was the only food he had to stay alive?

Is he no longer willing to go to any lengths in order to survive?

Has he truly changed that much over the past year?

Has he lost his edge?

A fall from such a height, that took so many of his hearts, could've easily broken bones.

Did he land on feet first, shattering one or both of his ankles?

Is that why he was holding his legs as he's sat in the Cavern?

Is he unable to move from the spot he landed in?

Can he only crawl across the floor towards the nearest corpse in order to regen and heal the breaks?

OR did he hit his leg on the way down, breaking his lower leg clean in half?

Did he have to set the break himself, biting down on his neckerchief to stop himself from screaming out?

Did he use his only torch as a splint?

Did he rip off strips of his cape in order to hold it in place as it slowly healed while he sat immobilised in the Cavern of Corpses?

OR did he land on his side, breaking his arm?

Was it his good arm or his prosthetic?

Did he break his good arm and have to rely only on his non-dominant (off)hand?

Would he let his arm hang limp at his side while he sat in the Cavern of Corpses?

Or would he fashion his cape into a sling, tearing off strips and using them to stabilize the break?

Did it remind him of back in the wasteland, when he carried his left arm in a similar way before he had to amputate it?

OR did his prosthetic break?

Did it occasionally shock him with its broken wiring since he had no tools to fix it?

Would he remove it entirely to stop the intermittent pain?

Or would that leave him too vulnerable?

Did he fight without his limb in the past?

Did he even use a prosthetic in the wasteland?

Is he too used to wearing it now after his time on the island?

Is he no longer able to adapt as easily to life without the ability to use one of his limbs?

Has he lost his edge?

Fit removed his hearing aids before falling asleep in the radio tower. (those were not noise cancelling headphones. Sorry streamer man your cubito is hard of hearing, I don't make the rules)

Did they get left behind in the radio tower like the rest of his belongings?

Was that why there were static sounds in the background with minimal game sounds, because his own hearing was limited without them?

Could he even hear the logs he came across or did he have to read the transcripts as they played?

Was that why Madagio was able to get the drop on him so easily?

Was he too overwhelmed with his new surroundings and all the information to listen out for the faint sound of cat paws?

He only turned around at the meow, was that all that he was able to hear clearly?

Did he sit in the Cavern where Madagio threw him, cursing himself for becoming too reliant on his mobility aids?

Did he even use hearing aids before Quesadilla Island?

Did he just adapt while in the wasteland, surviving with one of his senses dulled by years of close quarter explosions and head traumas?

Did he even know his hearing was affected?

Or was it so gradual over his years in the wasteland that he had no idea anything was wrong?

Did he have no idea that he was hard of hearing before the age of 30?

Was the world completely deafening when he was first introduced to hearing aids?

Did he adapt to the noise, relearning how to fight, to survive in his day to day when he could hear so much more?

Can he adapt to his disability now that he's without his mobility aids again on Vaccus or is he too out of practice?

He's been wearing them for a whole year on the island, is the world too silent now?

Is he unable to adjust to the sudden lack of detailed audio?

Has he lost his edge?

Fit is gonna be stuck in that Cavern of Corpses for TWO WHOLE WEEKS.

What would he do for 2 weeks alone in a cave with nothing but corpses to keep him company?

Would he just sit there, staring dissociated into the Cavern of Corpses with his arms wrapped around his knees?

Would he notice how low his health and food bars got?

Would he even notice that two weeks passed?

OR would he explore further into the Cavern, his historians curiosity getting the better of him as he analyzes the structures and corpses?

Would he spend his days cataloguing every detail, taking screenshots and storing them in his arm to document them later?

OR would he sit there, lucid and in pain, unable to move with how low his health is?

Would he consider dropping down further into the Cavern, taking fall damage in order to force himself to respawn?

Would he lie on the Cavern floor waiting for the respawn counter to count down as no one came to Res him?

But where would he respawn?

Would it be worse than where he fell?

Does he really want to know?

Would Madagio know where he went if he did respawn?

What if Madagio came back for him and Fit wasn't there?

What if he couldn't go back home to his baby boy and his Brazilian boyfriend?

OR would the solitary start to get to him?

He's been constantly around people for a year now, so much so that when he doesn't see anyone for a single day he suffers from separation anxiety. How would 2 weeks affect him?

Would he start to crack, his separation anxiety manifesting as he can't reach anyone?

Would he try to reach people on his communicator?

Would he send out message after message every single day, desperately praying to anyone that could hear him that at least one reached Quesadilla Island?

He survived for two decades as a nomad in the anarchy wasteland, why can't he survive two weeks in a Cavern?

Has he lost his edge?

I'm completely normal about my cubitos as you can clearly tell 🙃

There's obviously more shit to analyze in that stream but personal characterization lore is MY SHIT! They're just all such great complex characters with such a plethora of traumas I just wanna squish them!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. Tw noncon Can someone write a fic of wen Ning getting gangraped by Jin disciples in front of wen qing as revenge for what the other wens did?

~*~

2. Can you recommend any fics with Wen Ning as a POV character?

In My Defence, I Have None (For Never Leaving Well Enough Alone) by SemiLocalCryptid (T, 73k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Established Relationship, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, POV NHS, but only for the first chapter, POV Alternating, between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi for the rest, WWX may have no sense of self preservation but he does have a husband, No one touches LWJ's husband, NHS has no more fucks to give and will save his brother just watch him, WN is very confused about needing to breathe again, but is ultimately happy about it, BAMF WN, WN needs a hug, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WQ is a queen and everyone should fear her, Fluff, Inventor WWX, Gratuitous amounts of Wangxian fluff, WIP) wen ning is a pov character here

The Moon Reflected Upon Two Springs by Rubberduckieassassin (M, 2k, Post-Canon, Fierce Corpse wn, WN-centric, Farmer WN, WN Needs a Hug, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Good Kid LSZ, Good Kid LJY, Wen Remnants Mentioned, Burial Mounds Settlement Days Mentioned, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Melancholy, Building A Home, Family Feels, W>N is learning how to 'live' again)

waiting (when the colors come) by frostferox (G, 2k, WN/WWX/LWJ, Modern, realizing polyam might be an option, Domesticity, Friendship)

Granny Knows Best by The_Snarkivist (T, 5k, OYZZ/WN, JL/LSZ, Getting Together, Fluff, Accidental Elderly Acquisition, WN Centric, Let Wen Ning Be Happy Agenda, Happy Ending, fast burn, Granny does know best, POV WN, Post-Canon)

Fierce Friends by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds (G, 32k, NMJ & WN; SL & WN, NMJ & SL & WN, NMJ/LXC, SL/XXC, JC/WN, Friendship, Give Wēn Níng Friends, Cinnamon Roll WN, Rabbits, NMJ’s body does NOT cooperate, WN Centric, Everyone loves WN, Dysfunctional Family, Found Family, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Graphic Depictions of Pining, heart eyes motherfucker, WIP) it switches though

This Time With Confidence. by INSPIRETOWRITE (T, 129k, LWJ/WWX/WN, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Time Travel Fix-It, Action/Adventure, Polyamory, Developing Relationship, LWJ has feelings, Cute, Blood and Gore, Cultivation Sect Politics, Demonic Cultivation, Pining, WN-centric, Rabbits, POV Multiple, Action, War, Battle, Eventual Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, WN is a cinnamon roll, Bad-ass WN, WWX has feelings, They don't know they have the same feeling until later, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, POV WN, Slow Burn, WIP)

~*~

3. Hello! Could I ask, for the next ITMF for fics where wwx experiences qi deviation of some kind? Thank you very much!

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

Confrontation by LtLJ (G, 21k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, discussion of a canon suicide attempt, breaks from canon during the timeskip, BAMF WWX, BAMF Everybody, Canon-Typical Violence, JC &WWX Reconciliation, BAMF NHS, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Complicated Relationships, canon-typical curses, Canon-Typical Behavior) It is part 4 of a series so it makes more sense to start with the first one which is Brotherhood

~*~

4. CW: Trauma

Good day! I saw "Life as a house" by Terri Botta from the previous ITMF. I gave it a shot and read it, it is well written and I enjoyed the process of how they recover from their trauma, the reconciliation, and everything. For the next ITMF, do you guys know any fic that is close to this fic? Similar in terms of their journey to heal from their past/trauma, from seeing psychiatrist, discussing mental health, or about therapy. @httpskaixx

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

~*~

5. Want recommendations for slow burn angsty stories of wangxian

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

6. Hi! ITMF wangxian cuddle porn or just lwj being so comforting for wwx and vice versa. It would be amazing if that was incorporated in longer fics though anything would be welcomed. Something for reference is “A Cyborg's Three Laws” by FairyGardenCorgis and “try a little tenderness” by ilip13. Thank you so much!

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) modern!AU cuddly lwx cheering post-breakup wwx

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love) ModernAU! Soft Wangxian where they make their communication issues work

~*~

7. Hello again! I want to ask for a itmf about powerhouse wwx, inspired from this post

More detailed: The Scene with the water ghouls, wwx proposes to jump in the water (bc hes just that strong) in combination with lwjs thoughts and competency kink? Please? I hope that was understandable, English isn‘t my first language, sorry. @desperation-is-my-middle-name

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 108k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP)

My chain hits my chest/When I’m bangin’ on the radio by x_los (T, 2k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, competence kink, YLLZ WWX)

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Northern Ireland, fluffy but I cannot emphasise how much horror there will be, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Case Fic, Getting Together, shifter lwj, yllz wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, playing fast and loose with canon, off-screen beloved character death, Switch wangxian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Cameos by various characters)

hills and rivers by LtLJ (T, 56k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, the family that hunts demons together stays together, and doesn’t murder each other, Case Fic, BAMF WWX, Mojo’s post)

~*~

8. itmf some good ol' damsel in distress lwj @jawla-mukhi

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 4k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Whump, Blood and Injury, WWX' Canonical Vengeful Streak, LWJ Makes A Beautiful Damsel in Distress, Non-Consensual Ribbon Touching, Protective wwx, Hurt LWJ)

Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

~*~

9. Itmf time travel fics where Wei Wuxian is caught in a time loop reliving the Sunshot Campaign and ensuing Burial Mounds years over and over until he can save everyone? Thank you!

Karma by English is my death (Lena013) (T, 2k, JGY/XY/WWX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, XY/XXC, Time Loop, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Misfortune Fellows, JGY & WWX Friendship, JGY & XY Friendship, WWX & XY Friendship, (but they all hate each other), White-Haired WWX, But temporarily, XY is a Brat, XY Is A Little Shit, POV JGY, YLLZ WWX, Drama, Drabble, Humor, Immortal WWX, Immortal XY, Immortal JGY, These are cut pieces from their eternity together, By this point they had become insane)

~*~

10. Hi! I was hoping you could help me bc I was on Twitter & saw someone else mention that they wanted to read it but I was hoping that you had any fics where YLLZ!WWX time travels to the future? (Possibly ends up shtupping himself along the way.) I can’t remember if there are any besides ‘a tide between two seas’ but I know that’s more multi-verse travel! @arisuamichan

不忘 | Don’t Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Reincarnation, Fix-It of Sorts, Identity Porn, Social Media, Devotion, Reunions, Feelings, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Bondage, Names, References to Canon, Modern Era, Artist WWX, Sexual Content, Pining, POV Multiple, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending) first fic in a series

so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 115k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WN, WWX & WQ, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Canon Divergence, Literary References & Allusions, Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Private Investigators, Private Investigator WWX, Professor LWJ, Trauma, Serial Killers, Strangers to Lovers, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs Therapy, Modern Era, WIP)

atlas in his sleepin’ by anatheme (E, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Reincarnation, Family Reunions, Dimension Travel, temporary transmigration, Transmigrator!LWJ, Angst with a happy ending)

drop me down to the dream below by AroPeterWam (E, 44k, wangxian, WWX & XY, Time Travel, Comfort/Angst, basically there is reincarnation and because of that WWX lives in both timelines, changes had to be made to fit this story, JC comes to terms with his emotions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Reincarnation, POV Alternating, ooc because different lives, fluff, Canon Divergence, Memory Related, explicit for like that one scene, Adopted WWX, sick WWX, Dimension Travel, Noncultivator WWX, JC & WWX Reconciliation, XY Deserves Better, time swap, WIP)

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades by Phantomhill (T, WWX & Juniors, JL/LJY, OYZZ/A-QIng, wangxian, College/University AU, Modern, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Original Character(s), Background Relationships, Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death, the juniors are doing their best, NHS has plans, not a reincarnation fic, JYL lives, JZX lives, WIP)

worm moon by serein (E, 103k, JC/WWX/LWJ, Post-Canon, Mystery, Angst, Humor, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Identity Issues, Demonic Cultivation, eventual polyamory, Cults, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied past cannibalism, Switching, Canon-Typical Violence, Doppelganger, POV Alternating, Character Study, Explicit Sexual Content, Reverse Golden Core Reveal, mild horror elements)

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn) This is the opposite but I think OP will LOVE it

refrain; a musical phrase repeating in a song or instrumental piece Series by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T/G, 51k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Memory Loss, Canon-typical dismemberment, Post-Series, but also mid-series ya feel, Changing Tenses, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Confused WWX, Crack Treated Seriously) This is… also the opposite? Sorta? In which everyone from the future gets pulled back except for him

~*~

11. itmf hostage!LWJ, with WWX going berserk, kinda

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 4k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Whump, Blood and Injury, WWX' Canonical Vengeful Streak, LWJ Makes A Beautiful Damsel in Distress, Non-Consensual Ribbon Touching, Protective wwx, Hurt LWJ) (link in #8)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire)

~*~

12. I'm holding out serious hope for some pride and prejudice au wangxian. I don't care about setting or time period, I just want that delicious Lizzy/Darcy dynamic with LWJ being a classist dick to WWX and instead of just trying harder and harder WWX's like fuck that asshole and then then oh no, LWJ falls in love and WWX wants none of it. (I mean, I'd love a subplot where LWJ tries to talk JZX out of marrying JYL, too, but not strictly necessary). Any pics out there remotely like this? @moku-youbi

In Wanting by thaliagrayce (T, 39k, wangxian, Enemies to Lovers, Inspired by Pride and Prejudice, Miscommunication, No Sunshot Campaign, we are ignoring all of the canon political drama to substitute our own, non-graphic depictions of torture, cw: offscreen XY)

Clans and Cultivation by ChalionKat (G, 81k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, SongXiao, Regency, Pride and Prejudice Fusion)

~*~

13. Hi! 🤗 It's me, again. 😅

For the next ITMF, lately I'm looking for fics where WWX gets pregnant of LWJ. I'd prefer not abo fics, but if there is some good, it's ok too. I love Canon Divergence fics, Cloud Recesses arc, only the bad people dies and happy endings.

Thank you so much! ❤️😊 @wangxiansgirl

Unexpected Lullaby by SilverStark (T, 30k, WangXian, Minor Original Character(s), Unplanned Pregnancy, Post-Canon, Mpreg, Non-ABO, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reconciliation, Family, Dual Cultivation Baby)

🧡 Many Lan babies Series by LuckyMoonly (Varied, 396k, WIP, WangXian, Story collection, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX only, Family Fluff, Found Family, Kid fics)

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, canon divergence, communication, established relationship, sunshot campaign, mpreg, canon typical violence, WWX has new golden core, canonical character death, happy ending, fix-it of sorts)

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, WangXian, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

And they can always check the pregnancy comps! A/B/O is always tagged, so it can be avoided!

🧡 Accidents Will Happen by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 45k WangXian, Post Canon, Mpreg, Fluff, Light angst) I'm absolutely obsessed with

~*~

14. Hello! 👋 I just find this blog and I saw that we can ask fics. This is for In the mood for.

My favorites fics are the ones where Wwx comes back in time and fix everything, get together with Lwj soon and saves everyone. I love longer fics. Thanks ☺️

~*~

15. For itmf I was wondering if anyone had some recs for ChengXian mpreg with WWX as the carrier. @dragonfairies

~*~

16. Hello! For my ITMF I'm looking for a fic where wwx flinches/gets scared from the Zidian (either held my jc or yzy) and people find out about his ptsd with the whip? Just want some justice and comfort for our bb boi @mrcformoso

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 686k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) So none that I can think of exactly, but this one has some tasty, tasty justice

~*~

17. Hey, Im looking to read a fic or 2 where WWX wasnt in control of himself during his “k ll everyone faze” after the Wens are k lled and/or when his eyes turn red. So I guess like a burial mounds possession type deal? And if WWX is like seeing it all from inside, watching as all this tragedy unfolds at what he interprets as his own hand, for spice. May I have a fic rec or as many as you can find, please? @0call-me-rin0

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[insoukokuhell-434]

Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Fics

Includes:

Emotional Hurt/Comfort (long term & immediate)

Physical Hurt/Comfort

The format I’m using is:

Title - writer (ao3 link) Fic length Time period (teen/mafia skk, 22! Skk, all ages) Additional tags (Tags in bold added by me for extra info) TW

Some fics have parts of the summary/ comments added for additional info

Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Long Term (multiple instances)

hey look, the sky's falling apart - saffroncassis    

24.8k TEEN SKK (16/17) AU - Canon Divergence Protective Nakahara Chuuya, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Developing Relationship Found Family (the Akutagawa siblings, Oda's kids, Kyouka, Oda, Ango) TW- Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and discussions of both these, also cw food for the whole fic

Summary - "At age 16, Chuuya defects from the Port Mafia and drags his partner with him not so much kicking and screaming as silently begrudging, and the rest follow suit in time."

Mostly Chuuya helping Dazai, but Dazai supports him too <33

[Really realistic depiction of the relationship between a depressed person and their supportive partner!]

For the Record - zombiemarker

19.1k TEEN SKK  AU- Spies & Secret Agents + Physical Hurt/Comfort Nightmares, Childhood Trauma, they get all dressed up and go to a gala, Implied Sexual Content, Fluff & Angst, Literal sleeping together, Getting together, First kiss, Developing Relationship TW - Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma

From tags: "Chuuya's a government experiment, Dazai's been with Mori for years, they've both got trauma now"

Mostly Chuuya helping Dazai, but Dazai supports him too <33

A mouth to empty into - series by osamuchuu

Not listing all 4 fics cause this post is already so long, but they’re all amazing pls go read them!

The series depicts depression + CSA trauma so well!

This is my favourite -

Love is not a victory march - osamuchuu

8.7k 22 SKK Soukoku taking care of each other, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mental Illness, Depression, Drug Addiction, Blood and Injury, Healing, Recovery, Soukoku Tenderness, Light Angst TW -  Dazai-Typical Suicide References and Attempts, Addiction, Drug Use

believe me darling, the stars were made for falling -communist_sasuke

14.6k ALL AGES Worried Chuuya, Love Confessions, Dazai is a Mess, Angst, Self-Harm , Fluff & Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon timeline, First Kiss, TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions , Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt

Trust Fall - insi 

3.5k ALL AGES (Dark Era, Post-Dark Era, 22 SKK) Emotional Constipation, Mental Health Issues, Dazai has issues TW - Implied/Referenced Suicide & Self-Harm, Suicidal ideation

From tags: Chuuya has met Dazai on the rooftop many times throughout knowing each other.

Immediate

Emotional H/C

Even the Darkness We're Watching Is So Beautiful - NastyaEx

4k 22 SKK (post-109) bsd 109, Fluff, Dazai Needs a Hug, Dazai is a Mess, exhausted dazai, dazai cries but only a little bit, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Soft skk, Dazai centered, yosano is a bit here and she's great

I'll Make A Home In Your Gut Because its Somewhere Warm to Sleep - arahabakii

8.9k 22 SKK Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Making Out, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Dazai, Dazai needs a hug, Chuuya needs a hug TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

stay- neon_toad

4.6k 22 SKK (pm!skk flashbacks) Suffering Dazai, Dazai Needs a Hug , Dazai is Bad at Feelings, Oblivious Dazai Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hugs, birthday, Birthday Presents, soft skk TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

where are you? - doeinstinct

2.8k 22 SKK Depression, Disordered Eating, physical symptoms of depression, Mentions of past self harm, m because they shower together, canon adjacent, meal replacements, Love Confessions, They're In Love Your Honor

Run Away With Me - Anonymous

5.3k Dark Era Grief/Mourning, Dissociation, Suicidal Thoughts, Soft Soukoku, Dazai Needs a Hug , Dazai Has Feelings, Pining, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Chuuya Needs a Hug, Kissing, Dazai asks Chuuya to run away with him

stay the night - Shinkirou

3.6k 22 SKK Gen or Pre-Slash, Developing Relationship, Character Study, Sharing a Bed, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dazai's depression

Physical Hurt/Comfort

Fool for loyalty, or some other word - osamuchuu

1.7k Dark Era Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Injury Light Angst, chuuya deals with so much tbh, what a champ, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Relationship, Established Relationship, chuuya being Dazai's nurse because he absolutely was Dazai's angry nurse

under wraps - Coffeebiscuits

5k Post-Dark era + Emotional hurt comfort Love confessions, deep talks, Light angst, Fluff and angst, kissing, crushes, sharing a bed, Suicide, Self-Harm, Tending to Wounds TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm 

From tags: “basically chuuya has to patch dazai upand they talk about some things they need to discuss”

Chuuya also gets some emotional comfort

EXHAUSTION

So if you go too far I'll be there - Kimisu

2.5k 22 SKK - Pre-Fyodor | Cannibalism Arc  No Plot/Plotless, Literal Sleeping Together, Some Fluff, Canon Timeline

From Summary: Based on a HC that Dazai spends days before every major arc planning and arranging the pieces in order for everything to 'work'. He also pushes his body limits a bit too far when doing that sometimes.

SICK FIC

Nothing More Important Than You - StormDew2

3k MAFIA SKK (15) Sickfic, Soft soukoku, Vulnerability

Please like/reblog if this helped u find a fic, I'd be delighted to know asjsj <3

“Dazai takes care of Chuuya” recs here

Fic rec masterlist here

[moeitsu]

The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee

Summary: Arthur and Hosea share meaningful conversation after a night of advertising some moonshine. Meanwhile Kate finds herself involved in a dubious mission with John and the boys. She patches up Arthur as the day ends with an air of unspoken desire. Ao3  Wattpad Masterlist - All Chapters  TW: Brief mention of suicide, body image issues, eating disorder. Period typical racism. Tag List: @photo1030 @ariacherie @thatweirdcatlady **please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters!

AN: Another long one, ~8k words. The end had me giggling and kicking my feet. I hope you enjoy! Comments and criticism are always welcome :) Story Tags: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character, Widowed, Original Character, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby Arthur Morgan, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Ch 11 - And Felt The Pulse Beat Fast

Kate and I met this strange young bastard, Beau, and his forbidden love Penelope. Poor kids are just lookin’ for freedom but they’re stuck in some old family feud they ain’t even a part of. We delivered some letters for them, Kate insisted on it. I  gave her grief about it at first, but she was determined to go out of her way for these kids. Woman’s got a heart of gold.

Somehow, I ended up marching as a suffragette, the looks of loathing on the face of the locals amused me. I don’t know much about good causes, but I enjoyed my little experience riding alongside them. Kate showed me there’s more than one path, she chose to do the right thing and we still managed to gather some useful information. 

She makes my head dizzy sometimes, this woman. Came right out and asked to kiss me again! I choked up bad. She’s always speaking her mind, like she ain’t afraid of nothing. I love that about her. I wanted to kiss her, but I knew I couldn’t. I just can not do that to her. She’s been through too much already, and she deserves a good man. 

And I don’t deserve that kinda happiness. 

Arthur woke the next morning with a heavy weight on his chest, the remnants of a sleepless night etched into the lines of his weary face. Kate's tender words echoed in his mind like a haunting melody, refusing to fade with the dawn. No one had spoken to him with such honesty and vulnerability in ages, and Arthur couldn't shake the memory of disappointment flickering in Kate's eyes when he couldn't reciprocate her feelings. As much as his heart longed to kiss and hold her again. 

As he lay there, Arthur's thoughts drifted back to Mary, the woman he once loved. He recalled the night he proposed to her, the anticipation heavy in the air, only to be met with the sting of rejection. Mary wanted him to leave behind his life of danger, to embrace a quieter existence with her, far from the chaos of the gang. Arthur understood her desire for simplicity, but he couldn't abandon the gang; the family that needed him. He pleaded with Mary to join him, but she refused, unwilling to sever ties with her own family, especially her younger brother.

Now, years later, Arthur felt he had strayed too far down a path of darkness to ever deserve happiness again. The memory of Mary's rejection lingered as a painful reminder of his inability to change, to be the man she needed. He believed himself beyond redemption, resigned to a life devoid of the joy he once craved.

To his surprise, Kate appeared unfazed by Arthur's refusal the previous night. She greeted him in the morning with her usual warmth, as if their conversation had not left a lingering tension between them. They shared breakfast together, engaging in easy conversation that helped ease some of the weight on Arthur's shoulders. Kate mentioned that she had already discussed their findings with Hosea, who wanted to meet with Arthur later that evening regarding a potential job at the Braithwaite estate.

Her calm demeanor brought Arthur a sense of comfort amid his inner turmoil. As they finished their meal, Kate gracefully excused herself to resume her tasks with the other girls. She promised to join him for dinner as usual, maintaining their routine without skipping a beat. Arthur watched her go about her duties with a mixture of admiration and gratitude. Despite his fears of pushing her away, Kate seemed to understand. And didn’t think ill of him for it. 

As the day unfolded, Arthur found himself immersed in a job orchestrated by Uncle—an opportunity to stage a simple yet lucrative payroll robbery. He teamed up with Charles and together they executed the heist with precision. The stagecoach robbery went off without a hitch, yielding a substantial sum that brought a brief sense of satisfaction to Arthur, feeling like a proper thief he was raised to be.

As the sun began its descent, Arthur sought out Hosea near the hidden stash of stolen moonshine. He detailed his failed attempt to sell back the stolen moonshine to the Braithwaites. Hosea recounted how they had approached the Braithwaite matriarch with an offer, only to be met with a cold rejection. The old woman haughtily declared that they deserved no reward for returning what she considered rightfully hers. Instead, in a spiteful act of retribution, she offered a meager ten dollars to distribute the moonshine for free at Mr. Gray's saloon.

Arthur was puzzled by the Braithwaite's response. Hosea clarified that it was a calculated move—a means of exacting revenge on the Grays and the town drunks. By turning the intoxicated patrons into even greater fools for the night, the Braithwaites hoped to incite chaos and leave Sheriff Gray to deal with the ensuing fallout.

Amidst the chaos of the moonshine-fueled night at Mr. Gray's saloon, Arthur assumed his familiar role as "Fenton," a persona he had adopted in previous schemes alongside Hosea. The act required him to play the part of Hosea’s younger idiot brother, who also happened to be mute. His only job was keeping glasses filled without uttering a single word. Though Arthur despised the charade, he couldn't suppress a chuckle at the absurdity of their antics—the lengths they would go to for a successful heist.

Draped in the guise of Fenton, Arthur navigated the rowdy patrons, handing out moonshine liberally as the atmosphere inside the saloon grew increasingly raucous. The scene was a stark reminder of earlier days, when he and Hosea were younger and life seemed simpler, despite the risks they took.

As the night wore on, the situation escalated when Sheriff Gray himself appeared, prompting Hosea and Arthur to spring into action. Shots rang out, echoing through the old saloon as lawmen pursued them. With practiced ease, they slipped through the back door, disappearing into the shadows and swiftly making their way to the waiting wagon. In the chaos that ensued, Arthur expertly handled their pursuers while Hosea skillfully guided the reins.

A small shootout erupted as the Grays chased them through the winding back roads and fields leading out of Rhodes. Arthur remained focused, taking down their adversaries while Hosea expertly navigated the terrain. The tension was palpable, the thrill of the night's escapade mingling with the danger of their flight.

Approaching the train tracks, Arthur spotted a train. With precise timing, they crossed just as the locomotive barreled through, cutting off their pursuers. The lawmen were left stranded on the other side, unable to follow.

Once they were safely beyond reach, away from the danger that had pursued them, laughter erupted between Arthur and Hosea. It was a release of pent-up tension, the adrenaline-fueled joy of a successful escape mingling with the shared camaraderie of outlaws.

“Remind me to never take up a career in…what was it? Bartending,” Arthur chuckled, glancing back at the remaining clinking bottles they were unable to distribute.

“I didn’t know they’d throw so much of a fuss over booze, this town is odd,” Hosea answered, shaking his head as he cracked the reins of the wagon.

Arthur furrowed his brow, considering the surplus moonshine. “What should we do with all the shine we still have left?”

Hosea’s expression turned grim. “That miserable Braithewaite woman wants us to burn the Grays' tobacco fields with it, I was hoping you and Sean could handle that tomorrow night.” 

“Damn, ain’t that makin’ a bit too much noise? I thought we were tryin’ to lay low in all this. These fellas may be drunks and racists, but they ain’t afraid to kill, you saw them back there,” Arthur expressed his concern.

Hosea sighed, revealing a hint of hesitation. “Dutch thinks there's money in this somewhere. His plan is to get them all riled up on each other and use that as an opportunity to slip in and rob ‘em.”

Arthur fell silent, contemplating the dangerous path they were treading by getting involved in a longstanding blood feud. “Things could get real ugly, Hosea. Do you really think one of these families is sitting on a pile of money?”

“Can’t say. But the cash box is getting full again, Arthur. We’ve been doing well on making money. With just a bit more cash, we’ll be out of here,” Hosea replied, injecting a note of hope into the conversation. Sensing Arthur's unease, he changed the subject. “Kate told me about your adventures yesterday. How are things going between you two?”

As their wagon rattled down the road, illuminated by the soft glow of the full moon, Arthur felt a sense of comfort settle over him. He glanced over at Hosea, his trusted father figure, and knew that he could confide in him about anything. The old man had a way of understanding Arthur's thoughts and feelings without needing them spelled out.

Arthur shifted uneasily in his seat, rubbing his palms together nervously, the words weighing heavily on his mind. It wouldn't escape Hosea's notice that Arthur was quite sweet on Kate. After all, it had been Hosea's idea to pair them up for the day, hoping to give Arthur a chance to spend time with her away from the group.

“I kissed her the other night, when she was singin’ a lullaby for Jack,” Arthur began, the words spilling out into the night air like a secret long kept.“She… she wanted to kiss me again today and, I really wanted to, but I had to let her down easy,”  He glanced over at Hosea, seeking some semblance of understanding in the old man's eyes.

Hosea raised an eyebrow in surprise, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You kissed her and ditched her? I thought I raised you better, son,” he teased, his tone light but laced with curiosity.

Arthur chuckled, though there was a tinge of self-deprecation in his amusement. “I know, I’m dumber than a bag of rocks.”

Hosea patted Arthur's shoulder reassuringly, his touch grounding. “You may be good at playing an idiot like Fenton,” he remarked, referencing their recent job, “but you’re a smart boy. What harm could come if you just let it happen and see where it takes you?”

With a heavy sigh, Arthur leaned back in the seat, his gaze drifting up to the blinking stars above, memories of Kate’s confession flooding his thoughts. “I just don’t wanna hurt her. And… I don’t wanna feel that kinda hurt again.”

Nodding in understanding, Hosea's expression softened with a paternal concern for the young cowboy. “I’m not gonna live forever, son. I’d just like to see you be happy with someone before I go.”

“I was happy once. I had a woman who loved me, and she left me because I couldn’t change for her.” Arthur admitted, his voice giving away the deep sorrow he still harbored about his young love. 

“Mary was a good woman, I did like her. You were both so young and naive, still navigating your own lives,” Hosea mused, his voice carrying the weight of hindsight. His gaze softened with memories. “But I don’t think she was the right one for you. She couldn’t tame that wild heart of yours.”

Arthur listened, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, the wagon jostling over uneven terrain. “Sometimes, I feel like I can’t even tame it myself,” he confessed, his tone tinged with resignation.

Hosea's eyes twinkled with a knowing glint. “That's why you need someone strong enough to stand in the ring with you,” he remarked, his voice brimming with wisdom, “and face down the beast with a heart just as wild.”

Arthur nodded slowly, the words sinking in like stones dropped into a still pond. He mulled over Hosea's advice, feeling the weight of his own heart's desires. The night enveloped them in a cocoon of shared understanding, the stars above bearing witness to their quiet contemplation.

Arthur’s confession hung heavy in the air, his words weighed down by the burden of his past. “Once she knows what I’ve done, I don’t think she can forgive me for it,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, like a man confessing his sins.

Hosea let out a light scoff, his eyes bright with a hint of amusement. “Son, your bounty has been posted in almost every town in the west,” he remarked wryly. “She knows we’re outlaws, I think she’s probably aware you’ve killed some folk.”

Shaking his head slowly, Arthur gathered his thoughts, his gaze fixed on the horizon ahead. “No, no it ain’t that,” he muttered, his words heavy with hesitation. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “Kate told me ‘bout her family, how they all passed from accidents or disease. She even had to bury her own daughter. I just…” His voice trailed off, grappling with the weight of his own truth. “I just don’t know how to tell her about my own. About my son, Isaac. Or Eliza.”

Hosea leaned back against the wagon’s seat, his expression thoughtful. “What’s stopping you from telling her? That’s something you two have in common,” he pointed out gently.

“Because I–I can’t tell her I’m the reason they’re dead,” Arthur confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “Family means so much to her, she’d never forgive me for throwing it away.”

The old man regarded Arthur with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. “Son, if you’re so worried about her turning the other cheek on you, I think you need to tell her the truth,” Hosea advised, his tone earnest. “She’s going to find out eventually, and you know she’s a smart woman. She understands what you are and still chooses to be by your side. And I’d be surprised if she draws the line at something that happened in the past. You're too hard on yourself, Arthur. What happened to Eliza and Isaac was terrible, but it was not your fault.”

Arthur rarely spoke about his son, Isaac, even with Hosea, his closest confidant. The weight of their deaths bore heavily on his heart, like an anchor dragging him into the depths of guilt and regret. Isaac's passing had transformed Arthur into a different man, one hardened by grief and the burden of responsibility.

Hosea had witnessed the change in Arthur firsthand. Before the tragedy that befell Eliza and Isaac, Arthur was more carefree, with a spark of youthful innocence in his eyes. But as time wore on, a darkness crept into his demeanor, a shadow that never quite lifted. He carried their deaths like a scar, a permanent mark etched upon his soul.

In moments of vulnerability, Arthur would let slip glimpses of his sorrow, revealing the cracks in his stoic facade. He blamed himself for their deaths, convinced that if he had been a better man, a different man, things might have turned out differently. It was a burden he carried alone, tucked away behind layers of bravado and hardened resolve.

Hosea understood the depth of Arthur's pain, but he also recognized the resilience that lay beneath. Arthur's reluctance to share his grief spoke volumes about the depth of his sorrow. It was a wound that time could not heal, a wound that had shaped the man Arthur had become.

As the wagon turned down the familiar winding road that led to their camp, the night's chorus surrounded them with the faint hum of a crackling fire and the warm glow as it cast dancing shadows across the clearing.

Arthur broke the moment of silence, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I should’ve been there for them, Pa," he confessed, his eyes fixed on the dark silhouette of the trees passing by.

Hosea sighed, the years etched into the lines of his face. "Yes, son, but life has a way of throwing us off course, even when we try our best," he replied, his voice carrying the weight of wisdom earned through hardship. "This world can be cruel, as you well know."

"I can’t be a bad man and expect good things like Kate to happen to me. It just don’t work that way," Arthur continued, his words laced with self-doubt.

Hosea placed a reassuring hand on Arthur's shoulder, his touch a welcome comfort. "Kate sees something good in you, son," his tone was gentle yet firm. "Maybe it's time you started seeing it too."

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Kate scrubbed diligently, the soap creating frothy suds as she ran the bar along the stretched cotton over the washboard. She sat on a small stool in the shade beneath a sprawling tree, her trousers dotted with darkened spots from the splashing water. The air was heavy with heat, but the coolness of the water in the small washtub offered a brief respite. With each steady motion, her fingers became slightly more pruned from the repeated immersion.

Beside her, Mary-Beth was busy ringing out the soapy cloth and dipping it into a clean bucket, the rhythmic process mirroring Kate's own. The girls found solace in their shared task, engaged in easy conversation to while away the chore.

“So,” Kate began, a mischievous glint in her eye, “I saw you talking to Kieran the other day. Want to spill the beans on what’s really going on there?” She nudged Mary-Beth playfully with her knee.

The young girl looked down, a faint blush tinting her cheeks as she tried to hide her face from Kate's teasing gaze. “He was just curious about the book I was reading, that’s all,” she admitted bashfully, her voice carrying a hint of embarrassment.

Kate knew Mary-Beth's romantic tendencies well. From the moment they met, it was clear that she had a penchant for love affairs and romantic tales—her nose buried in romance novels and dreams of penning her own someday.

“That’s all?” Kate teased, a playful glint in her eye. “I see you watching him groom those horses every day. Somebody's got eyes for the O’Driscoll boy,” she added, splashing a bit of water in jest.

Mary-Beth retaliated with a laugh, “He ain’t an O’Driscoll!” Her grin gave away any attempt at concealing her feelings. She glanced over towards the horses, and Kate followed her gaze to where Kieran Duffy was tending to the animals. “He’s been talkin’ to me a lot recently. I just think he’s sweet.”

Kate's eyes lingered on the scene, noticing Lenny and Javier saddling their horses nearby, while John caught her gaze as he approached them.

Just as Kate was about to respond, John called out to her, “Kate! You busy right now?”

She looked up, eyes squinting as the sun glowed behind his frame. She gestured with open palms towards the wash bin. “You need somethin’?” she asked.

John tipped his hat to Mary-Beth, who waved politely in return. “We’re heading out to the Braithwaite manor to check out some horses. Thought you might wanna come,” he explained, nodding back to where Lenny and Javier were waiting.

Kate chuckled, her tone lighthearted. “You plan on stealing them or something?”

John crossed his arms casually, “well, you know,” he trailed, “if the opportunity presents itself.” Not bothering to hide their dubious intentions. Kate has to remind herself sometimes that she is running with outlaws. For them, a job doesn't mean checking out the goods, it means stealing goods. 

He cleared his throat and explained the situation seriously, “some fella from the Gray family told us he’d pay to have their horses stolen. Also mentioned they go for $1000 a piece.”

Kate raised a brow of suspicion, “and you believe him?” 

John only shrugged, “it's worth looking into.”

She waved him off with a touch of concern, “I don’t want no trouble John, I’m sure you boys will manage fine without me.” 

John persisted, his voice reassuring. “It won’t be no trouble at all. We’ll be in and out, they won’t even know we’re there,” he said, adding an enticing detail, “word is they got some pretty nice gypsy horses. Real purebreds too.”

Kate found herself caught in the web of temptation. Stealing horses was not something she relished, but the promise of seeing such a purebred up close was alluring. If they pulled it off successfully, she knew the money would help the gang alot. She figured it wouldn't be so bad to help them in one little heist. 

As if Mary-Beth could sense her conflicting ideas, she interrupted the silence, "I can finish up here, Kate. You should go. They'll have a better chance of pulling it off with you." She winked knowingly, seeming to support Kate's unspoken decision.

She made up her mind, fixing John with a pointed look. "No trouble," she repeated firmly, more as a command than a question.

"No trouble," John assured her with a nod of understanding.

Kate wiped her damp arms across her shirt, bidding Mary-Beth farewell and promising to catch up with her later. As she approached her midnight mare, the horse whinnied in recognition, sensing the upcoming adventure. Javier and Lenny greeted her from their saddles, both looking ready for action.

Javier tipped his hat with a charming smile. "Nice of you to join us, cariño," he said, his tone warm and inviting.

Kate swiftly mounted her horse, adjusting herself in the saddle. "You boys better hope this goes smoothly," she remarked with a playful smirk, her eyes scanning the group with a hint of caution.

Lenny rode his stallion closer to Kate's, "I gotta say, having you with us doubles our luck, don't you think?" he replied, his tone light-hearted but with an underlying sense of confidence.

She smiled fondly. Together the four of them took off down the lush green path and onto the dirt road. Kate was glad for the invitation, it made her feel good that the gang trusted her enough to include her in such tasks, that they were confident in her ability to work alongside them. She felt a new sense of trust among them, and camaraderie. She felt like she was becoming a real member, and not just some lone traveler like she had been nearly a month ago. 

The journey to the Braithwaite manor was uneventful, the cool breeze of the afternoon air was refreshing against their skin as they rode. As they arrived at the manor from the south side, away from the prying gaze of the property guards. The grand estate loomed before them, a testament to the family's wealth and power. They dismounted their horses in a secluded spot, ensuring they wouldn't draw too much attention.

Kate's mind wandered briefly, wondering if Penelope would be out in her gazebo enjoying the afternoon sun. 

John's voice interrupted her thoughts, his tone matter-of-fact as he laid out the plan. "Let's keep this nice and easy. No need to rush. We're here on behalf of a buyer, looking to make a significant investment," he explained as they followed him toward the barn.

Outside the stable doors, a worker paused in his tasks, eyeing them with suspicion. "Can I help you fellas?" he asked, his tone wary.

"I hope so," John replied amiably, trying to appear non-threatening. "Heard you got some horses?"

"We always got horses," the man responded gruffly.

"Fine horses, I mean," John clarified.

The worker's expression soured, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at the group. "I don't know whatchu’ talkin' 'bout, friend. Why don't you take that hoyden wench, yer greaser buddy, and his darkie friend and get off the property ‘fore I blow your face off," he retorted, spitting at their feet.

Kate raised her eyebrows in surprise at the man's unabashed racism and arrogance toward strangers. Suddenly understanding Tilly’s hesitation about being so far south. Javier quickly raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Whoa, take it easy there, amigo," he interjected, trying to diffuse the tension.

John remained unfazed by the man's hostility. "Come on now, partner. We're just looking to do some business. Inquire about a purchase," he persisted.

The worker let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine, follow me, Scarface," he grumbled, the insults never ceasing.

The ranch hand, ever welcoming, led them into the barn, his voice a steady stream of information about the horses—names, breeds, and abilities. She noticed they were not the purebreds John had heard rumors about. Still beautiful, strong horses nonetheless. 

Kate observed John and Javier exchanging a look as they walked deeper into the dimly lit space. When the man paused to pet a horse, John subtly motioned to Javier, who deftly moved behind the unsuspecting worker. 

Meanwhile, Lenny smoothly interjected with feigned interest. "Wow, look at the balls on that one," he chuckled, pointing in another direction. The ranch hand followed his gaze, oblivious to the danger lurking behind him.

With his back turned, Javier seized the opportunity, drawing his pistol from his belt. "Greaser, huh?" he muttered bitterly before striking the bottom of the iron against the man's head, knocking him out instantly. John and Javier wasted no time, swiftly moving the unconscious body to a hidden spot while Lenny began unlocking the stable gates.

Kate stood in stunned silence for a moment, her voice barely audible as she tried to suppress her surprise. "What happened to nice and easy?" she muttered.

Her comment elicited a chuckle from Lenny, who had already mounted one of the horses. "Can't get any easier than this. Let’s try to get 'em out of here without drawing too much attention," he replied casually.

Despite her swirling thoughts and unease, Kate pushed her concerns aside and mounted one of the horses. Following the three bandits out of the barn, she joined them as they sped off through the sprawling property, the rush of adrenaline mixing with a sense of trepidation.

The thundering hooves of their stolen horses echoed through the property. Behind them, shouts and the pounding of boots indicated that their presence had been discovered. Several ranch hands emerged from the buildings, brandishing rifles and shouting warnings.

John, Kate, Javier, and Lenny spurred their horses into a full gallop, kicking up dust and dirt as they raced across the open fields. The pursuing ranch hands fired off a few rounds in their direction, but the distance and the speed of their mounts made accurate shooting difficult.

As they reached the fence at the edge of the property, they leapt over the barrier. The group plunged into a dense thicket of trees, the branches clawing at their faces and clothes. The sounds of pursuit faded behind them as the guards were forced to slow down and eventually give up the chase. They whistled loudly, and soon their own horses caught up and began to follow in tow. 

Javier led the way as they made their way through the landscape to find the supposed buyers at Clemens Cove. 

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

The encounter with the buyers proved to be an intriguing yet unsettling experience. They were met by a pair of brothers who seemed to operate in uncanny harmony, sometimes speaking in unison and shrouding their business with secrecy. Details about their clientele and operations were kept hidden, with only a vague promise that one of them would be available for future dealings, if they wished to become business partners.

During the negotiation, one of the brothers made a direct offer to purchase Kate’s prized black Hungarian outright, offering her a substantial sum. However, Kate politely declined without hesitation. Her bond with the mare ran deep, and no amount of money could sway her decision to part with her cherished companion.

The brothers’ offer of 50 cents on the dollar for the stolen horses was not quite what John had anticipated, but it still amounted to a respectable deal given the circumstances.

After concluding their business at Clemens Cove, the posse set off back towards the rolling plains. The sun had dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm and serene glow over the lush green hills. Their horses trotted steadily along the trail as the  landscape unfolded around them, painted in hues of amber and gold, as they made their way back to camp.

"Hoyden wench…" Kate echoed with a chuckle, mimicking the ranch hand's harsh drawl. "I've been called a lot of things, but that sure is a first."

Javier, riding alongside her, piped up from the saddle, his expression puzzled. "What the hell does that mean, anyway?"

Lenny let out an exasperated sigh. " 'Wench' was a term used by slavers for black women. And 'hoyden' means she's too much of a 'tomboy’,'' he explained.

"Well, I can understand the 'tomboy' part, but she's not even—"

"Doesn't matter, amigo," John interjected, his tone matter-of-fact. "If ya skin ain't as white as a baby's bottom, it's all the same to them."

Kate nodded in agreement, her thoughts drifting back to the locals she had observed while running letters with Arthur. Witnessing their prejudice up close and personal was a stark reminder of the challenges faced by Lenny and Tilly in this region. As a woman of Italian descent, her skin carried a honey-brown hue, bronzed by the Lemoyne sun. Even this slight difference posed a threat to the narrow-minded locals, a reality that churned her stomach with discomfort.

"I'm ‘bout ready to get the hell out of dodge," Lenny added, his voice tinged with exasperation. "Speakin’ of racist hillbillies, Javier and I are heading out to Shady Belle. Got a tip there's some raiders sittin’ on guns and ammo. You guys want in?" He turned to John and Kate with a casual invitation.

Kate shook her head, "thanks Lenny, but I think I'll pass this time."

John chimed in with a polite refusal. "As much as I love killing racists, I gotta get back to Abigail for dinner."

Javier and Lenny exchanged nods of understanding. "No worries, compadres," Javier replied. "We'll catch up with you later."

As they bid farewell, Kate and John veered onto the familiar dirt path that led back to Clemens Point. 

The gentle melody of song birds and the steady pounding of hooves on the dry soil filled the atmosphere. Before they could approach the camp, John's voice broke the peaceful ambiance. 

"Hey, I know I sound stupid for saying this, but thank you for being a friend to Abigail. All of this has been really hard on her," he explained, his tone earnest and reflective. He glanced ahead, his thoughts drifting to his woman back at camp. "I know it may not look like it, but I'm trying—I'm working on being the kind of father she wants me to be and the husband she needs."

Kate gave him a sympathetic look, her eyes softening. “You don't sound stupid, John. This life ain’t easy for nobody, especially when there's a child in the mix.” She was slightly surprised to hear him open up to her. 

John sighed, his expression heavy with regret. “Still, I know you and I ain’t all that close, but, I did somethin’ pretty bad. I worry she might never forgive me for it.”

With a sideways glance, Kate nodded reluctantly. “Yeahhh, Abigail already told me ‘bout all that.”

“Shit, she did?” John's eyes widened in surprise.

She couldn't help but chuckle, a hint of mischief in her voice. “Oh yeah, she’s told me everything John.” Abigail didn't babble to Kate just for the sake of gossip; she understood that Abigail needed someone to confide in, someone to listen and truly hear her. She needed to feel seen, heard, and understood. Especially in times like these. 

“Well goddamn, now I feel like a proper dumbass.”

“She still loves you, John, and your boy does too. But love doesn’t come for free—it takes a lot of effort. Keep pushin’ to be a better man, she sees your effort. I promise you.” Kate's words were gentle yet firm,

"Thanks, Kate. Say, you’ve been ridin’ with us for a while now. You think you’re stickin’ ‘round for the long haul?” John asked, his tone curious.

Kate shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. “I can’t say for certain. But for now, that’s the plan. Never thought I’d be workin’ with outlaws, but I guess it’s sometimes kinda fun,” she replied, hinting at their recent endeavor. Though petty horse theft was one thing, running from the law for murder was another.

“I noticed you and Arthur get along pretty well. He the reason you're stayin’ put?” John probed further. No doubt trying to get a grasp on his brother's affairs.

“Arthur’s a bit of a mystery to me. But we’re just friends, is all,” Kate answered, her tone casual yet guarded. She knew things between her and Arthur were only just beginning, but it was still undoubtedly complicated. The fact that some of the members had taken notice of their relationship sparked a tinge of worry. 

“You’re a tough woman to read sometimes,” he smirked, the scar on his cheek crinkled slightly. “Well, whatever the case. Take care of yourself, ya hear?” He expressed a genuine smile as he rode ahead back into camp. 

Kate followed behind, the aroma of Pearson’s signature stew filling her lungs with its savory fragrance. She left Lorena to graze peacefully among her own four-legged companions and headed toward the chuck wagon, eager to enjoy a well-earned meal after a day filled with adventure. The camp was alive with the usual sounds—crackling fire, distant chatter, and the occasional whinny of horses—creating a familiar and comforting backdrop to the evening.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

As Arthur returned to camp under the blanket of stars, the world seemed silent except for the faint rustle of night creatures and the distant crackle of a dying fire. He dismounted his mare with practiced quiet, the shadows of night his ally in avoiding unwanted company.

Exhaustion weighed heavily on him, his frustration palpable in the tight set of his jaw and the weariness etched in his movements. Tonight, he had no patience for idle chatter or bullshit from the guys. Especially the ones awake at this hour.

Burning the tobacco fields with Sean had proven to be no easy task. Though never any job orchestrated by Dutch ever was. It was nights like these where Arthur questioned when all the shooting and robbing would end. What the point of it all was. 

Behind his tent, the open end of the wagon served as a makeshift wall. Arthur rummaged through crates, finding what he needed—a needle, thread, alcohol, and cloth. Wincing as he prodded the bullet graze just under his armpit.

“I’m gettin’ too old for this shit” he mumbled to himself.

Getting shot had never been part of Arthur's plan on any job. He prided himself on his quick draw and accuracy, always aiming to fire first and hit his mark before danger could strike him. But shooting under cover of night, navigating through a blazing tobacco field while avoiding being burned alive—such challenges could make even the finest gunslinger stumble.

The guards had descended upon them as soon as the smoke rose, but Sean had urged them to press on, insisting they keep pouring the moonshine without hesitation. Arthur couldn't help but worry that the young Irishman's ambition might one day lead him into an early grave.

Surprisingly, the only injury Arthur had sustained was a bullet graze, still needing a few stitches but nothing life-threatening. Meanwhile, Sean had returned unscathed, already regaling their escapade around the campfire with a bottle in hand.

Under the cool night air, Arthur peeled off his sweat-dampened shirt, the chill of the air contrasting sharply with the warmth of his body. The lantern's dim glow cast shadows, highlighting the glistening of sweat on his chest and stomach.

He dipped the cloth into the alcohol, its sharp scent biting into his senses. As he attempted to clean the wound tucked under his arm, frustration crept in. The injury was beyond his line of sight, a challenge exacerbated by his own size.

Placing one arm against the side of the wagon for support, Arthur tried again, unaware of Kate's quiet approach behind him amidst the backdrop of the night's stillness.

“Need some help there, big guy?” Kate's voice was endearing, soft, almost motherly. The tone made Arthur's knees weak and his face grow warm.

Startled, Arthur nearly leapt out of his skin, quickly lowering his arm and stepping back, almost out of the lamplight. The nickname, though used innocently, stirred something akin to shame in his belly.

"What're you doin' up?" Arthur asked, attempting to appear unbothered.

Kate shrugged, her demeanor relaxed. "Couldn’t sleep. I was brushing Lorena when I saw you come in. Figured I’d say hi," she explained. "You want some help with that?" She gestured to where small trickles of blood traced down his side, her eyes lingering slowly over his bare torso.

If it weren’t for the cover of night, Kate would have seen the deep blush that crept up to his ears. "I think I’ll be alright," Arthur managed, his mouth suddenly dry.

Kate took a step closer, her gaze shifting to his shirt hanging from the side of the wagon, a round, deep red stain contrasting against its usual pale blue.

"Well, it sure don't look alright," she noted, her eyes returning to his side. "Tough spot to reach too."

Arthur's breath quickened. "I’m fine, don’t worry 'bout me," he replied, a hint of nervousness creeping into his tone.

Kate only brushed him off with a playful wave of her arm, “oh quit it! You stitched me up before, let me return the favor.” Before Arthur could react she placed a gentle hand on his bicep, “here, turn around.” She said quietly.

He complied, turning his back to her. His body froze when her fingers returned with the wet alcohol cloth. Barely noticing the sting, as her hands alone felt like fire against his cold skin. Her warmth is intoxicating. 

A moment's silence embraced them, and Arthur prayed she couldn’t hear the beat of his heart as it raced in his chest.

Her words startled him from his thoughts, “see, ain’t so bad,” her tone soft like she was comforting a child. “Why’d ya hesitate?” A hint of curiosity and concern filled her voice from behind him.  

Arthur lowered his head slightly, “I um, well I know I ain’t much to look at.” He mumbled. 

Kate continued to clean his wound tenderly, “what do you mean by that?” 

He let out a deep sigh, there was no point in being dishonest with her, “I…I just don’t like folk seein’ me without a shirt. I ain’t what I used to be. I’m gettin’ old, gettin’ heavy too.” His hand subconsciously rubbed over his belly. 

Arthur's weight was his biggest insecurity, a constant reminder of his struggles and the pain he carried. Years had passed since Eliza and Isaac's deaths, but part of him had withered away back then. The guilt had gnawed at him, devouring his spirit day by day. He sought solace in alcohol, drowning himself in the numbness it offered. His relationship with food became a twisted dance of indulgence and deprivation.

Some days, he ate to fill the emptiness inside, seeking comfort in the fleeting sensation of fullness. Other days, food seemed an enemy, a symbol of his lack of control. He despised his belly, the way it was soft and curved, a stark contrast to the man he once knew in the mirror. His size served as a relentless reminder of his deepest failure, haunting him with each glance.

Each morning he woke, Arthur grappled with the weight of existence. The world, in its merciless ways, kept him breathing, a living monument to his own remorse. He often wondered if the world would be better off without him, a sentiment that lingered like a dark cloud over his soul.

Kate sensed Arthur's tension, the silent turmoil that echoed beneath the pads of her fingers as she tended to his wound. She felt the subtle movement of his muscles, synchronized with the rise and fall of his breath. "You're a strong man, Arthur. Age and scars don't make you any less handsome," she reassured him with genuine honesty, her voice a soothing balm.

With practiced ease, Kate finished cleaning his wound and reached for the needle and thread. She gently maneuvered his arm to rest on the side of the wagon, adjusting her position for a better angle to begin stitching. Arthur's nerves betrayed him, his hand clenching into a tight fist at his side as he tried to compose himself. His head felt dizzy, as if he had been holding his breath all this time.

"I reckon you're just sayin' that to be kind," Arthur finally admitted, his self-doubt palpable in the air.

Kate chuckled softly, the sound carrying warmth and sincerity. "I've met my fair share of ugly bastards in my lifetime, but believe me, you are certainly not one of them," she assured him, her voice like a gentle flame against his skin. Her words were a rare gift, stirring something deep within him that he had long kept hidden. Arthur closed his eyes briefly, letting her words sink in.

"You're a very handsome cowboy, wrinkles, scars, size and all. I think you're a lovely man," Kate affirmed, her words carrying a sincerity that tugged at Arthur's heart. "Besides, I know I'm not the picturesque woman myself. I'm no stranger to the cruel effects of time and livin' rough. Today, I was even called a ‘hoyden wench’ by some bona fide racist ranch hand," she added with a light laugh, as if brushing off the insult.

Kate had a way of making Arthur feel like they had known each other for a lifetime. Since the day she opened up to him about her life, she had been unapologetically honest with him. It was as if she already knew she could trust him with her personal tragedies.

Hosea's words echoed in Arthur's mind, a comforting reminder of the wisdom his old father figure imparted. Hosea simply wanted happiness for him—not wealth in money, but richness in love. He wanted Arthur to find purpose and meaning in life, to share that journey with another soul.

As Kate's needle deftly worked the thread through his skin, Arthur felt a warmth bloom in his chest. Kate's words eased a heavy burden, if only momentarily. 

He shrugged his shoulders slightly, summoning the courage to speak. “Well, I’ll say this. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with a lady who can hold her own,” he began, his voice laced with sincerity. “You’ve got a strength and beauty that’s hard to come by. I think it’s pretty admirable.”

Kate giggled softly, the sound sending a warm flutter through Arthur’s chest. “Thanks, Arthur. First time I’ve heard that in a while,” she replied, her eyes meeting his.

Arthur marveled at how he had summoned the courage to kiss her the other night, feeling as if he could barely face her now. Yet, if she leaned in to kiss him at this moment, he knew he would succumb to his desire, despite what he had told her before. She lit a fire in him.

“S’true. You’re the prettiest girl in the whole damn holler,” Arthur said, unable to hide the light chortle that escaped him.

Kate leaned closer, her breath tickling his neck as she whispered, “You have quite a sweet side, Arthur. I adore that about you,” her hand lightly squeezing his arm.

His heart swelled, and Arthur knew this was the moment. He needed to tell her, despite the nerves that threatened to overpower him. Hosea may have been right; she had stayed by his side despite everything. But as he searched for the words, unsure of how to broach the subject, his nerves got the better of him once again. There was never an easy way to say it. Just the memories of them alone felt like acid in his throat. 

Kate took a step back, placing her tools down on the back of the wagon. “I reckon I’m about done stitching this. Try to stay out of the crossfire next time, yeah?” She teased, holding up his bloody shirt with a knowing look as she handed it back to him.

Arthur felt a pang of regret. “Wasn’t my intention to get shot,” he admitted, his voice tinged with frustration. He slipped the shirt over his shoulders, tugging the sleeves down his arms.

“Nobody intends to get shot,” Kate mused, taking a step back to give him space.

Turning to face her, Arthur was struck by the sight of her eyes, a sadness that mirrored his own that evening under the moonlit sky when they kissed. His heart throbbed at the sight. Since the day he met her at Emerald Ranch, she had a welcoming presence that drew him in, along with a deep sorrow that resonated with his own. It was as if she knew him before she even met him.

He looked down, running a hand over the back of his neck. “I appreciate your help, darlin’,” he murmured. Then, letting out a deep breath, he added, “though, I really don’t deserve it.”

Kate brushed off his self-doubt. “Don’t fuss over it, Arthur. I’m here whenever you need a hand,” she assured him. “I think you should get some rest though; from Sean’s stories, it sounds like it’s been a long day.”

Arthur nodded silently, watching as Kate bid him farewell and faded back into the night. His heart silently begged, please don’t go. But she was gone, leaving him alone with his thoughts under the blanket of stars.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Kate lay beneath the star-studded sky, her eyes fixed on the milky purple and white swirl above, like celestial clouds in motion. Her heart echoed the rhythm of hooves against her ribs. Thoughts of Arthur filled her mind, his presence vivid in her thoughts.

The image of his body lingered before her, along with the stories he shared about himself. A longing surged within her to reveal how beautiful she found him, to explore him with kisses and her wandering hands.

Patience wavered as a persistent ache in her belly reminded her of the closeness she craved. Intimate moments with Arthur kindled her core, igniting a blaze of desire. Each quiet, vulnerable encounter with him deepened their connection. Funny how his true colors always showed when he was alone with her. 

Kate smiled to herself, feeling a rush of desire she hadn't known for what felt like a century. As good as she was on her own. She felt like life had finally granted her an anecdote to her lonely heart. 

---

AN: Phew, its out there. I know that was pretty dialogue heavy, so I hope I didn't bore you guys. Next chapter is going to be a long one, and may take me awhile. But it will be worth it, I promise!

As always, thanks for all the love!

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Humphrey Bone x Ghost!Reader

Just a little reader insert into “The Bone Plot”.

TW; suicide (didn’t actually happen, but it was mentioned so I wanted to include the warning), canon typical headless-ness/death

“Which is why the history books echo with the name; Sir Humphrey Bone.”

You cringe, knowing it was coming but unsure of how to answer the questions that were sure to follow.

“Did you know? You’re his wife!” Cap asks accusatorially.

“Yes of course I knew,” you sigh, knowing this is going to bring up a lot that the both of you would rather not remember.

The ghosts begin their search for Humphrey as you amble along behind them. Of course you know where Humphrey is, having just left him in the study when he told you he didn’t want to come to the filming, but you weren’t going to tell them that. Eventually they do find him, and you settle into the chair next to the table his head is on.

“You didn’t tell us you were famous!” Kitty says.

“Am I? Ooh, that’s nice. Am I a painter?” Humphrey plays dumb.

“She means the plot, mate. The Catholic Plot,” Pat huffs.

You watch as they go back and forth about it, frowning as Mary grumbles about his easy death. Certainly isn’t easy to have the memory of the sight burned in your brain. You stroke his hair away from his forehead gently as he goes into telling the story. It’s not long before the ghosts have a million questions.

“Humphrey?” Kitty asks gently when he trails off, lost in thought.

“What is he talking about? Who’s Sophie?” Captain interjects and you frown.

“She was my wife,” Humphrey answers, the other ghosts’ eyes bulging in shock.

“You what?! I thought you were his wife!” Pat exclaims.

“Technically, I was his mistress,” you mumble. You hear a clipped “good lord” from Captain, and Fanny looks a bit faint.

“You never told us that!” Kitty complains.

“It never came up,” you shrug, “and you never asked.”

“But it’s not how it sounds,” Humphrey cuts in when the ghosts all begin to ask questions over each other.

“Sophie was a business arrangement, there were no feelings there. She’s the love of my life, er- afterlife? Both,” he explains, smiling at you fondly.

It really wasn’t at all how it sounds, despite how the documentary makes it seem.

You had known each other since you were young, you; a baker’s child, and Humphrey; noble but only just so. Despite their status, his parents still occasionally sent him to the village on errands which is when he’d met you. Your young romance blossomed between sacks of flour behind the bakery where your clandestine meetings took place. He was dead set on marrying you, not caring what his parents would say, but before he could tell them this, they had arranged a marriage for him, practically set in stone. They’d whisked him off to meet her and marry right away.

You were heartbroken when Humphrey snuck into town the next week and told you the news, but he was undeterred.

“She doesn’t want to be married to me any more than I want to be married to her,” he tells you urgently, willing you to understand.

“It’s just for looks, she has no interest in being with me at all,” he implored.

“What are you saying?” You ask softly, not daring to get your hopes up. He explains his plan to you and honestly you think it just might work.

And it does. Within the week you’re moved into their manor, under the guise of being a new baker in the kitchen.

“Not only were you the mistress, but you had the gall to live in their home?!” Fanny squawks and you roll your eyes.

“It wasn’t like I was intruding on their marriage, Fanny. Humphrey is not a deceitful man, we discussed it with Sophie before I ever even moved in,” you explain curtly, her face scrunching in disbelief as Humphrey goes on to tell them about your arrangement.

The two of you were free to be together within the walls of the house with Sophie in her own side of the manor, which suited her just fine. They kept up appearances in public when need be, and went about their own business at home. This arrangement suited you all for years until Sophie became restless in the house.

Humphrey, ever the gentleman, still looked after Sophie as much as she’d permit (which truly wasn’t much) but he was more than willing to supply her with anything she might want or need. This is how “book club” had started. Sophie held her meetings while the two of you enjoyed your alone time on the other end of the manor. Until one fateful day, that is.

Humphrey had just gone round to grab something out of the chart room after one of the book club meetings when he found the letter. His blood had run cold when he read it, instantly thinking of what it could mean for your lives. The moments after this were pure terror, telling Sophie to run and thinking that you were safe on the other side of the manor. Panicking as the guards were banging on the door.

“Beheaded on the spot for high treason, so heinous was his crime. His mistress committing suicide out of grief at the sight.”

“At least, that’s how-“ Humphrey starts, but gets cut off by the Captain’s salute and the other ghosts murmurs of agreement.

“We should tell Alison,” Kitty says, and the ghosts agree, wondering off to do so. You can’t help but think about how the rest of that night actually went.

You heard the shouting from the other side of the manor, no idea what was going on but a pit forming in your stomach. You ran towards the chart room where Humphrey said he was going, using the back halls to avoid whatever the commotion was. Running into the room through the back door, you find Humphrey panicking.

“What are you doing here? You have to go!” He whisper yells, his eyes full of fear.

“What’s going on?” You ask in a hushed voice.

“There’s no time! You have to hide,” he insists, frantically shoving you into an alcove covered by thick curtains in the corner before running off to his own place to hide. You don’t dare to even breathe when you hear the doors being shoved open and the queen’s guards announcing themselves. They search for what feels like forever, one of them coming so close to you that he nearly touches you with his sword through the curtains before the other one distracts him. You can hear them leave but you still don’t dare move until you hear Humphrey shimmying out of wherever he’d been hidden. You peek out of the curtains, when you see Humphrey halfway out of the fire place. You run to his side, ready to ask him just what the hell is going on.

“God, I love this house,” he laughs, tapping the wall lightly. You barely have time to suck in a gasping breath when you see the swords moving, much less warn him. You would’ve screamed at the sight before you, but your breath was taken away before you could even consider it, the sword swinging right through Humphrey’s neck and piercing you in the abdomen. Your thick layers of corsetry were nothing against the sharp blade sticking into you. With a gasp, you pull yourself away from the sword, blood pouring thick and fast from your wound. You don’t have time to do much of anything before you’re stumbling to the floor. In your last woozy moments lying on the ground, all you can think to do is grab Humphrey’s hand for some sort of final comfort. He’d told you later that he could still see in those final moments, watching helplessly as you collapsed, trying in vain to squeeze your hand in return.

You suppose that this is how you’d come to be Humphrey’s mistress in the history books. You look over at Humphrey and you can only imagine he’s thinking of the same moments, judging by the far off look in his eyes.

“C’mon, love. No use dwelling in the past,” you try to cheer him up, a light hand on his cheek to pull him from the memory.

“D’you reckon we should tell them what really happened?” He wonders as you take him in your arms. You imagine the two of you must make a right pair to the outside eye, a bloody Tudor lady carrying a severed head and whatnot.

“I think they’ve heard enough truth today. Let them think what they want,” you smile playfully, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you walk the both of you towards the sitting room.

[darishima]

What do you like about Midari? I rarely find people who love the show :D

ohh boy that's hard to answer... is it a copout if i say everything? it probably is so i'm gonna try to pin down all the reasons why. sorry it'll probably be long and a bit rambley 😭 thank you so so much for asking though i have been WAITING for the opportunity to talk about midari

*tw for discussion of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and general mental illness (obviously, cause this is midari we're talking about)*

first of all, i think a lot of it is because i heavily relate to her. the feeling of never being fulfilled or truly happy and turning to pain and suicide as the apparent answer... it really hits home, and back when i watched kakegurui for the first time (in 2019) i'd never really seen any other piece of media that talked about it so openly.

that, specifically, is one of the things i find most interesting about her- the fact that (prior to meeting kirari and losing her eye) she'd never been "truly happy." and the fact that (self-inflicted) pain (or the risk of pain/death, specifically) is what finally made her feel something is so deeply sad. i feel like a lot of people brush her off as a "crazy yandere" or whatever, which is frustrating because she's so much more than that (and even her ""yandere"" side, the way she feels about yumeko, is just because she wants yumeko to kill her; it's not the typical yandere portrayal, like yuno gasai or the like, because it's not driven by romantic interest- at least, not fully). she's clearly struggling (the bandages she wears on her arms seem much too convenient to be there for any reason other than covering self harm scars/injuries), but she still has such a confident and "gives-no-fucks" attitude that i find genuinely admirable. she's really smart (she's a amazing gambler, has good grades, and i've always gotten the impression that she could easily be the top of her class, maybe even rival sayaka, if she ever bothered to study), very perceptive (as shown when she immediately saw through yumemi's idol façade and sayaka's intelligence), and also genuinely caring, like when she saves ayame nureba from suicide in the kakegurui midari manga (granted, she does it in a distinctly midari-esque way, but she still saves her life).

a lesser seen side of her, though, is that she's actually kind of... a adorable weirdo? it's most often shown in kakkokari (a manga spinoff of kakegurui that not many people have read, because it's never gotten an official english release/translation). like, she refers to animals with the -san honorific (except giraffes, she doesn't like giraffes),

cleans up trash around the school,

knows yumemi's songs by heart,

orders cutesy dishes at a coffee shop,

and when she gets 3rd place in a "which student council member do you want to be your girlfriend" competition, she's surprised and embarrassed (i'd vote for her in a heartbeat btw)

she's just so skrunkly yknow?? and there's dozens more moments like this from kakkokari, like when she wears a kigurumi hoodie like runa's, or when she gets hiccups and convinces kirari to choke her, or when she turns out to be surprisingly worried about how other people perceive her, and asks sayaka to teach her how to fix her "vulgarity" (and then gets told by kirari that she seems "normal," and immediately holds her gun to her head lmao).

TLDR; she's someone who is struggling a lot, and has been for years, but still manages to be smart, perceptive, confident, and kind. the issues she has with her mental health are things i've struggled with too, and really relate to (i'm a midari kin, after all), and god i just want to give her a hug so bad. and she's also adorable and goofy and weird in all the best ways, and she means the world to me <3

sorry that was SO long lmao... i had to omit a lot of character analysis from kakegurui midari (a manga spin off about her pre-canon, in which she has a girlfriend) but i hope i answered your question well enough!! thank you for asking, and giving me an excuse to ramble about midari :))

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

alopex/raph and alopex & leonardo fics

Based on an AO3 request, also can be found here.

Shame Manifest by sleepingseeker - Raph and Alopex's first time is interrupted by long-buried memories crawling from the dark (tw past csa, trauma, shame, sexual content)

Cold Coffee by candylestrade - Alopex and Raph share a few soft and tender moments together

TMNT IDW | Raph/Alopex - Sugar by Rinnegades AMVs - Raph and Alopex have a habit of stumbling into each other's eyes (tw flashing, canon-typical violence)

"Hot Mess (RaphxAlopex)" from Strange Love by orphan_account - Raph gives Alopex a special kind of support at a difficult time (tw explicit, discussions of infertility, possible infertility)

Dream A Little Dream Of Me by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Alopex and Raph are each other's sanctuary in the face of painful nightmares (tw trauma, torture, gore, mentions of necrophilia, violence, unreality)

Bad Things by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph goes through hell and Alopex helps lead him out of the dark (tw csa, underage rape/noncon, torture, underage prostitution, molestation, trauma, identity issues, suicidal thoughts)

"Prey" from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Alopex's attempts to snatch Raph off the street of New York for her mistress take a strange turn (tw explicit, mind control, abuse, trauma)

"Cold" from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A story of Alopex's life, from her brutal rebirth to her journey into Raph and Angel's arms (tw underage rape/noncon, sexual assault, csa, abuse, mind control, violence, blood and gore, fire, destruction)

"Underwater" from TMNT ABC III: Lives And Times Of The Turtles by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo and Alopex come to term with all the secrets in their relationship (tw past underage rape/noncon, past violence, grief, past csa, past manipulation, suicide attempt)

"Mint" from A Deep And Thorny Tangle by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters- Alopex and Leo provide each other what consolation they have after an ugly night at the hands of their masters (tw csa, underage rape/noncon, dissociation, injury, abuse, mind control, trauma, unreliable narrator, suicidal thoughts, implied violence, implied victim blaming)

"Everything Can Be Unwoven" from Midnight Whispers by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Alopex and Leo seek brutal vengeance on the Foot together (tw blood and gore, violence, past underage rape/noncon, past csa, past mind control, trauma, guilt)

"Admiration" from Bitter Winter Nights by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Alopex and Leo have some painful things in common (tw implied csa, implied underage rape/noncon, implied mind control, self-doubt, betrayal of trust)

Yo Woody by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Letters Mikey sends home to Woody from Northampton, with about Leo and Alopex's disappearance into the woods at the heart (tw family dysfunction, mentions of violences, mentions of injury, trauma, past underage rape/noncon, past csa, past mind control)

"goodbyes" from with friends like these, who needs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo and Alopex say goodbye before Leo leaves Northampton, and come to terms with all the secrets they only dare to share with each other (tw injury, past underage rape/noncon, past csa, trauma, grief, past violence, past mind control, past abuse, discussions of victim blaming)

Sewer Girls by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A collection of sentences about women from the TMNT universe; includes Raphplex (tw sexual assault, abortion, racism, violence, implied csa, implied rape/noncon, trauma)

[apopcornkernel]

What’s your theory about the valonqar? I thought everyone accepted it was Jaime

tw: discussion of choking, murder, asoiaf-typical incest and violence under the cut

HI ANON im actually so glad someone asked. i personally think that there's a big chance it really is tyrion— @seethemflying 's excellent meta was what really convinced me in the end!

my secondary candidate and pet crack theory is loras tyrell because. Well. kingslayer stew. and also cersei has drawn parallels between her & jaime and margaery & loras. and also bc if cersei ever has marge killed or something, i can easily imagine loras taking revenge for his sister. this one's more of an indulgent thing though, i dont think it has a big chance of being canon 😂

honestly though, the main reason why i dont think that jaime is the valonqar is that i just hate it and all that it represents. sorry to valonqar!jaime truthers but GOD do i hate valonqar!jaime it would be an absolute regression of his character arc and i ESPECIALLY hate people who see him killing his sister as """"redemptive"""" LIKE HOW IS KILLING (BY STRANGULATION, MIND YOU) YOUR ADMITTEDLY MURDEROUS BUT STILL YOUR SISTER REDEMPTIVE IN ANY WAY?

okay i went a little off tangent there but anyways. as i said i hate it because it's an absolute regression of his character arc. his arc is about moving away from his sister, rediscovering himself as his own person separate from her and living up to knightly ideals once again. throughout asoiaf, george chips away at the "i am him and he is me" rhetoric—because even though cersei claims they are the same person they are clearly not! sure, they may look alike (in the beginning) but take one look at jaime's chapters compared to cersei's and slowly you begin to see just how different they're starting to be. im not explaining this in detail because chronicling their whole "we think we're essentially the same person but actually we're really not" bs would be a WHOLE other post, but suffice to say that you can really see how he grows and changes from cocky, golden kingslayer in agot to the jaime in adwd. having to kill his sister-lover, especially if it's done by way of choking as the prophecy claims, which as i say is a regression because the whole point is becoming SEPARATE from his sister and this will only serve to re-tangle himself into cersei's web in a horrifically traumatic way.

additionally i find it hard to even think of a motive—jealousy? no, jaime's shown in his chapters that he's bitter but not murderously angry about it. wildfire? people argue that it would be an aerys parallel and fine, whatever. but in my opinion, the parallel you're looking for is brienne and lady stoneheart, not jaime and "mad queen cersei". i think it serves no purpose for jaime to do the exact same thing again.

additionally, it just makes no sense location- and story-wise. jaime literally just went off with brienne to lady stoneheart. he's in the riverlands facing death and you're telling me he's going to ride all the way back to kings landing just to kill his sister? 😭

plus a lot of people who headcanon valonqar!jaime also like to make it into a murder-suicide and—I AM SO TIRED OF JC MURDER-SUICIDE I AM SO SICK OF THIS THEORY IT'S EVERYWHERE OH MY GOD I HATE IT SO MUCH

if anything jaime's weirwood dream (WHICH!!! NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE FACTOR INTO THEIR DISCUSSIONS OF VALONQAR!JAIME!!!!!!!!) disproves that murder-suicide thing definitively and foreshadows jaime surviving to fight with brienne against the others. i mean he and brienne are literally? wielding flaming blue swords against the ghost-like figures of aerys' kingsguard?? and cersei even LEAVES jaime there "sister! stay with me, stay!" "there was no reply but the sound of her retreating footsteps." and oathkeeper is VALYRIAN STEEL which CAN KILL THE OTHERS???? jon also has a similar dream where he also fights the others with a glowing sword and like. what's not clicking!!

sorry this is disorganized anon but that's most of why i loathe valonqar!jaime

(i also have another private twitter thread ranting about jc murder-suicide but i will not post it unless you ask, anon, because it is very much a rant and very much angry and i dont want to inadvertently offend with the furious language that i used in those tweets)

and i am a dirty jb shipper and im like 75% sure they're going to make it to the quiet isle and get married and then go fight the others and i just dont see where a return to kings landing fits in that <3

tldr: no motive, not practical location- and story-wise, and would be a regression of jaime's current character development up to adwd

[clippedwingsmuses]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎" 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲? "‎‎

canon divergent multifandom multimuse - private - indie - penned by crowmun please see my rp tracker before asking about replies that i owe

muses - oc muses - rules - about mun - verses - credits - promo tags memes - headcanons - drabbles - permanent starter calls

this blog is 18+, and may feature depictions / mentions of the following topics: psychological torture, mental & emotional abuse, abandonment issues, depersonalization / dehumanization / derealization, murder, violence, hypnosis, toxic/unhealthy relationships, suicidal thoughts, cult ideologies, religious trauma, mind controlling, nsfw innuendos / jokes, experimentation please be mindful when threading / viewing, as many of these topics are relevant to the backstories / worldviews of my muses and will be reflected in their thoughts. all topics will be tagged with '[topic] tw' if / when they appear.

rules under the cut for mobile users

Typical roleplay etiquette applies here. No godmodding, no meta-rps, no powerplaying or controlling my muse, and don't be a dick.

This blog is PRIVATE, meaning that I only roleplay with mutuals. -- As this is a sideblog, I follow from my main; TRACKDNTRAILD.

Personals will be soft-blocked unless they have a RP sideblog.

I will not roleplay with minors because of my blog's themes.

Proper grammar and punctuation are a must when threading with me. -- Capitalization is generally excused due to my writing style, which features mainly lowercase writing (except for emphasis).

I exclusively do LITERATE roleplays, typically multi-para in length.

You don't have to match the length of my replies, nor the speed at which I reply! However, I expect more than a sentence or two reply.

If I have not responded to our thread for TWO WEEKS+, tell me! -- Similarly, if you have not responded to our thread for more than THREE MONTHS without notice, I will consider it dropped.

This blog will deal with mature themes, but I will not write NSFW. -- Content leaning to NSFW will fade to black, no exceptions. -- I will not engage in mature themes with minor/aged up muses.

If you write content intended for pr*shippers, or you are one, leave.

I will not roleplay fight sequences unless they are heavily plotted.  -- If our RP is edging towards a fight, please talk with me first so we can discuss where it goes. I will do the same to you.

I am MULTISHIP, so I will ship my muses with multiple characters. -- Every character that I RP with will be set in their own verse. -- Please ask before including other people/muses in our verses.

I am more than willing to write pre-established relationships! -- I will not write pre-established romantic or familial relationships, unless I know you personally.

Don't reblog memes/threads/musings/aesthetics directly from me.

Specify verses when sending starters/asks! See my verses HERE. -- The main muses of my blog are KIERAN, KOKICHI, and KITSUNAMI. I will respond as them by default depending on their activity.

I will only ship characters in the same age group, including aged up muses. (Ex.: No Scoots x Mane 6, even in the post-finale verse)

If you read these rules, please send an ask with 'I will heal you'. -- If I reply to the ask IC, you don't have to make it a thread. -- I'll also accept you liking my pinned as sending the password.

my blacklist: images of bugs / blood/gore / body horror / spiders, unsanitary jokes

[watergave]

RULES.

INTERACTING. i am a big fan of plotting out dynamics! this is much easier for me nowadays. i thrive the most when we can establish a dynamic between our muses and general idea and then jump into winging actual plots. mutuals are always welcome in my ims or on discord! please make sure to specify a muse when you send in a meme. i will either contact you to see which muse you are interested in or i will not answer the meme at all. please, please, please reblog from the source! this goes for anything. memes, aesthetics, musings, etc. i want to keep my notifications clean on here. if you are no longer interested in being mutuals, please soft or hard block me. please respect my selectivity on some muses. it's usually because i took up that muse for a specific person or people and i'm not very interested in doing more things with them. no hard feelings towards you or your muse, this is just how some of my muses work for me!

SELECTIVITY. i practice high selectivity on this blog. this blog operates at low activity and on the roleplay scene, i am more active elsewhere! personals are not welcome here and will be blocked on sight. this is a mutuals-only blog. if we are not mutuals, please do not interact with my ic or my ooc posts. i will not interact with muses from steven universe, the book of mormon musical, or southpark.

FORMATTING. my formatting is quite simple nowadays. i do not expect you to match my style. if this doesn't work for you, let me know and i will adjust as necessary. i use a variety of psds. all icons, edits, etc. are made by me. do not steal them.

TRIGGERS. triggering content will be tagged as “[trigger] tw." i tag common triggers and the ones you'll find on this blog (list below), but if you have something specific you need to be tagged, please im me about it or make note of it in my interest checker. triggers present based on my muse will be: murder, death, child abuse, homelessness, neglect, suicide, war, and physical assault. please tag political discourse, current events, and sexual nsfw content.

NSFW/SHIPPING. i love shipping! i much prefer to discuss romantic ships before getting into things. if you ship it, let me know! i'm probably down! not all of my muses are up for shipping. currently the list is: lucy barker, tony wysek, maria nunez and maria gonzalez. i am very down for canon ships for these characters, though! what i consider to be canon is: tony x maria and lucy x benjamin. i'm also a big fan of all sorts of dynamics! give me friendships, give me enemies, give me found family. there may be some nsfw topics mentioned, but it will never be written as it makes me uncomfortable.

FINAL. i'm darcy (she/her; 18+). this blog has been dragging along for awhile and you might know me from one of my old urls. you'll typically find me over here but i am always down to discuss our muses! as stated above, mutuals are one thousand percent encouraged to ask for my discord!

[sunderingstars]

❛❛ 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵. ❜❜

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CONTENT WARNINGS ⌝

DISCLAIMER: this blog discusses mature content, such as violence, death, and suggestive themes.

⟢ content warnings are canon-typical to the media i discuss ➜ i.e. the magnus archives, hunter x hunter, fear & hunger, omori, trigun, chainsaw man

⟢ tagging ➜ i tag dark and mature content as ⌞ ✰‧₊˚ dark.matter ⌝ , suggestive content as ⌞ ⋆ ⟡. meteor.shower ⌝, and whump as ⌞ ˗ˏˋ⭑ˎˊ˗ solar.flare ⌝

⟢ warning format ➜ tw (insert trigger), cw (insert warning), mentions of (trigger/content)

⟢ examples of format ➜ “tw gaslighting" ⟡ “mentions of suicidality" ⟡ “cw character death”

CURRENT WARNINGS I MAY USE:

⟢ violence, death, manipulation, gaslighting, body horror, ptsd, predatory behavior, grooming, addiction, unhealthy relationship, toxic relationship, blood and injury, character death, psychological/emotional abuse, suggestive, sexual themes, human experimentation, suicidality, etc.

⟢ if you have other triggers you would like me to start tagging, please let me know!

although i try my best, i am not perfect. please let me know if i ever miss a warning, or if there are triggers i should add to a post. thank you!

[insoukokuhell-434]

Soukoku Fic Rec - First Kiss <3

The format I’m using is:

Title - writer (ao3 link) Fic length Time period (teen/mafia skk, 22! Skk, all ages) Additional tags (Tags in bold added by me for extra info) TW

Some fics have parts of the summary/ comments added for additional info

Only for You - StormDew2

9.9k MAFIA SKK (Post 15) Literal Sleeping Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Kissing, chuuya gets banned from drinking so dazai gets him some wine, Underage Drinking, Light angst

give me a kiss like a kick in the teeth - communist_sasuke    

3.5k MAFIA SKK (Pre-Dark era) Kissing, Dazai is Whipped, Dazai is oblivious correction: Dazai's not oblivious he's just in denial, Chuuya Is So Done 

Summary: "Not that Dazai thought Chuuya was beautiful, because that would be a bit much. He was attractive, objectively. Not that Dazai was attracted to him.

(Or, more accurately: Dazai was, in fact, very attracted Chuuya.)"

Threats Made in a Hotel Room - Moonyeyes

2k MAFIA SKK Kissing, Making out, Drinking, Sexual Tension, POV Chuuya

Cross-reference - chuuzxi

2.6k MAFIA SKK Fluff and Humor, Bickering Lots of it, Bets & Wagers, Gay Panic, Dazai Osamu is a Tease, Developing Relationship, Mutual Pining, that tag runs HARD here, Denial of Feelings, chuuya goes thru the 5 stages of grief in thirty minutes

Stitches - orphan_account

11.3k MAFIA SKK (Post 15 and Dark Era) First Kiss, Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Denial of Feelings

it's always been you - devantsun    

2k 22 SKK Love Confessions, kind of???, telepathic soukoku strikes, Fluff and Angst, Rated T for language, softer than the tags imply lol, this is very soft in general, blink and you miss it fukuzawa x mori TW- Dazai-Typical Suicide References

of sunsets and first kisses - Bl34ry

2.5k MAFIA SKK Fluff without Plot, very soft, Fluff and Angst, Maybe a little angst, But it's very soft, and there's kissing, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, this is set to before dazai met oda actually…

Fireside - littlewritergrl

1.9K MAFIA SKK First Kiss, Light Angst, Internalized Homophobia, but just a little??

Fics with good first kiss scenes

(less focused on first kisses)

the moments in between - hellcatspangledshalalala

3.7k  ALL AGES Hurt/Comfort, Post-Corruption, pining, fluff, angst, fluff at the end, character study, Dazai POV, getting together, dazai’s depression

I'll Make A Home In Your Gut Because its Somewhere Warm to Sleep - arahabakii

8.9k 22 SKK Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Making Out, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Dazai, Dazai needs a hug, Chuuya needs a hug TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

A chance to start again - Root (Fyki)

4.4k 22 SKK Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Fluff, Introspection, they work they shit out

hey look, the sky's falling apart - saffroncassis    

24.8k TEEN SKK (16/17) AU - Canon Divergence Hurt/Comfort, Protective Nakahara Chuuya, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Developing Relationship Found Family (the Akutagawa siblings, Oda's kids, Kyouka, Oda, Ango) TW- Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and discussions of both these, also cw food for the whole fic

a piece about tensions unresolved - acuteguwu

2.1k 25 (AU) Alternate Universe - No Powers Fluff, Friends to Lovers, chuuya is a mess, dazai is no better tbh, kinda unrequited crush, First Kiss

Summary: "Chuuya’s been into Dazai for so long that it doesn’t seem relevant anymore."

the same groove - halfbloom (diphylleias)

11.3K MAFIA SKK (16), 22 SKK Feelings realization, Pining, Love Confessions, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Growing Up

Summary: "Dazai always knows too much, and too fast, whether it be for the better or for the worse. But for Chuuya, the realization comes slower, gradually, clumsily over the years"

Please like/reblog if this helped u find a fic, I'd be delighted to know <33

Soukoku Fic Rec Masterlist

[therealwideworld]

It's all slipping, Alec knows: he thinks he's found the answer, but when he reaches a crisis point, who will be there to recognise the signs and catch him? TW: Depression, suicidal ideation, canon-typical self harm discussed.

[sleepysailorjunko]

Tracey’s opinions on the companions:

Dogmeat: She loves Dogmeat! would die for him.

Nick: Tracey’s love for Nick knows no bounds!  he’s the best detective partner she’s ever had. However, they can’t run together all that long because Tracey will forget or ignore the need to eat. She’s also very worried that Nick will get damaged in some way.

Danse: Tracey is very very in love with Danse. Blind Betrayal was a very difficult mission for her, and she could not kill him. She could never do that, even if it meant that she was disobeying orders. at that point, she didn’t have anything to live for; she knew there was no rescuing her son and Paladin Danse was one of the only people she cared about. And she was supposed to kill him. She knew that if he killed himself, she would follow. Ultimately, they talk each other down and just decide to leave the Commonwealth, but Elder Maxson confronts them when they exit the base. After sometime, she confesses her feelings to him, and they become lovers. Still, Tracey wants to leave the Commonwealth.

MacCready: She didn’t need a hired gun, but she looked at him and wanted to have him around. He could ask for the moon and she’d find it for him. She sees him like a brother. 

Piper: If Tracey’s honest, Piper scares her a little. When they first met, Tracey was still pretty meek, trying desperately to adapt to this strange new world and running away from her fears. Then there’s Piper, so determined and perseverant, lying to Danny and yelling at the mayor. She doesn’t care for Piper’s use of Jet. 

Hancock-She doesn’t really know what to make of Hancock. He doesn’t win any points for her with his flagrant use of drugs, so she really just tries to stay out of his way. Tracey’s unaware of it, but part of her issue is that Hancock wants to be her friend. Every companion she gets along with, it’s something of a business arrangement at first. Danse travels with her because he’s her sponsor, and then they become friends. But Hancock just wants to travel with her for the hell of it, and Tracey doesn’t really know what to do with that.

Cait: Tracey admires Cait for trying to break her addiction on chems, but she doesn’t really understand why Cait is mean to dogs. If Cait asked for help, Tracey would back her in an instant. She’s a little intimidated, but Cait always says unintentionally kind things. 

Strong: She doesn’t really like or travel with Strong, although she was glad to be of help.

X6-88: They’ve never interacted

Preston: Tracey didn’t meet the Minute Men until she was a Paladin. She helped them along to Sanctuary, ignoring the sting in her heart. She would have liked to continue helping them, but Preston scared her off with the title of General

Codsworth-What a loyal servant! She was very glad to see him, although he generally stays in their main settlement. 

Deacon: She doesn’t like Deacon. At all. 

Old Longfellow: He’s interesting to be around. 

Curie: She loves Curie. 

Gage: They’ve never met. 

Ada- although she didn’t care for Ada at first, she did like how Ada never complained if she stopped to pick up junk

[chillidari]

@daily-writing-challenge February 21, Day 2

(TW for canon-typical violence, manipulation and implied sexual content)

February 21, Day 2. Protect — Fray

"What's the big fuss all 'bout?"

It was no use. No matter how intently he listened, he didn't understand a single word the buzzing swarms of his brethren let out. Concern. Ire, even. That was all he picked up from his spot right behind Kayn, who discussed, animatedly, matters he couldn't quite grasp.

"Ah, Suncaller. Just in time. Your sister was aiding Darkweaver with procedures to drive back the demons. You will be tasked with rescuing civilians from the Exodar."

Sarcyon nodded. Unlike him to ignore orders from his superior! The Slayer had bid Kayn, and he would obey the both of them.

Lap dog.

"What's the plan, boss?"

-

He was debriefed in simple and straightforward terms: his favorite way, if anyone cared to ask him, to receive orders. And just as he was instructed, he wanted the Pack. Capital P.

Those were the most trusted canine-bound Illidari, and he had the honor of being one of their ambassadors, and leaders. Perhaps from his achievement and antiquity in the order, or perhaps out of a revering fear of the demon he'd been bound to. Whatever the reason, the Pack's triumvirate (bound to a Gloomhound, a Demonic Core Hound, and himself to a Charhound) was obeyed and assisted by a swath of eager, skillful souls, but it didn't stop there.

They looked after one another like members of a clan, or a family. Where Illidari loyalty ran thick, Pack loyalty was unbreakable, forged in bonds of heightened gregarious spirit granted by the shards of canine souls embedded into theirs.

They were a highly efficient group, as they operated on trust and experience. Simply put, a bad idea did not pass the Pack council. If any member suggested a suicide mission, there was an immediate disagreement that resulted in a better plan. Despite there being a ruling position, every concern was given equal voice and discussed, and for this matter they utilized not Demonic or Common, but Wolf. Snarls, howls, barks and body language, as well as some odor cues made for fast and nuanced communication. Again, highly efficient.

The Pack was dispatched, and the sounds of hooves and claws beating on the ground filled the Exodar. Some of the injured Draenei thought them heralds of more demonic demise, but their friendly, eagerly helpful disposition was welcome with open arms when given the chance to show it. Hounds tended to their wounds, and the people quickly saw that these trained doglike warriors would jump in harm's way even if only to buy them time. Luckily, they were also savage fighters, goring enemies like it was little more than a dance to them. Even a dreadguard fell with ease to their practised formation.

"Thank you…" a draenei woman said in a choked up cry as she looked up at Sarcyon with tearful eyes. He cauterized her hand, or what was left of it after being trampled by a scared Elekk, using the heated palm of his hand, and let his scaled body shift with metamorphic growth, allowing her to safely ride on his scaled back. His horns and mane offered concealment and protection, and he evacuated five other injured civilians along with her.

"Voidmaw, secure this hall. Sniff around for any survivor we've missed," he barked at the beastly Hunter to his left, whose demonic form served as a bulwark for more than a dozen scared children while five howling Felstalkers gutted a doomguard with glaives and claws alike.

The day was won for the pack. Nobody expected any less of them.

-

Have you ever thought of seizing power? You could be much more than a complacent puppy.

They don't listen to you. It is me they fear. I made you.

Everything you are now you owe to me. You are a man by my grace. Our pact-

"Shut UP about the pact! Y'got enough."

You lie to yourself and to all of them. Worse than that, you are deluded. Not a leader but a frontman. Digestible. Stupid eye candy. They keep you around like one keeps a well-groomed pedigree whelp; not out of respect, not for use. For looks. Among brutes with bloodstained bare paws, you keep yours clean. Sanitized.

"I'll show you clean."

The Pack often indulged, all together. Ritualized. Paramount orgies of bloodshed and licentiousness designed to quieten the baying of hedonistic demons. This would be one such night.