#I don’t do audiobooks but it’s fine to be in the middle of two books at a time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chellyfishing · 9 months

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ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

#no books in march bc i was playing resi4 #or october bc i was playing bg3 #or july bc i was depressed #deep thoughts

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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Into The Unknown, Part 6

First

Marinette woke up because of a whack to the face. So that was fun.

She blinked her eyes open and was met with a scowling, squirming baby.

She sighed and considered letting the baby squirm for a little so she could get another few minutes of sleep…

Oh. Right. He cried in the morning. An unfortunate thing to forget about.

She grumbled a quiet “fuck” as Damian started screaming.

“Tim, your turn.”

Tim grumbled incoherently and attempted to disappear in the plush mattress.

She considered kicking him to wake him up but decided against it. She was feeling nice that morning.

(Also, she figured that kicking a half-awake vigilante might end badly for her.)

She shrugged Tim’s arm off and then tumbled out of bed, baby securely wrapped in her arms. She laid flat on the ground, baby raised in the air above her like a less cute version of That One Scene from The Lion King. She squinted up at the screaming child, struggling to get her brain to function, and then sighed.

“Right, let’s get you all changed, huh? Clean diaper? Pretty new clothes? Will that calm you down?”

She really didn’t know why she was talking to him, she doubted the kid really understood what she was saying, but his wailing was starting to die down a little. She hoped it was because she was using her nice voice and not because he was straining his vocal cords.

She smoothed out his hair and then pushed herself to her feet.

After she had changed the kid’s diaper, she spread all of his clothes out on the floor in a loose circle (it kind of looked like an egg, but at least an attempt was made).

She set the baby down in the middle of the egg and stepped back.

He looked up at her, confused.

She motioned to the clothes. “Go ahead. Yakhtar.”

There was a few minutes where the baby continued looking at her, clearly expecting something but she had no clue what.

Then, finally, he looked around at the clothes.

He crawled over to a yellow shirt with a cartoon bee on it that she had paired with some black and white striped leggings and slapped it a few times. He babbled angrily at her.

… did that mean he wanted it or that it was out of the running?

… she was going to assume that he wanted it.

She picked up him with one arm and the outfit with the other -- something made very difficult by the fact that Damian was now slapping his little fists against her shoulder in an attempt to be let down -- and then started the process of getting the kid into the clothes.

“You know, he probably would have been fine with anything you picked.”

She glanced up from where she was trying to shove Damian’s pudgy little baby arm into a sleeve. Tim was sitting up in bed, legs crossed criss-cross applesauce and head propped on his hand. An amused smile played at his lips.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at Damian so she could complete her grueling task. “Probably. But I’d just keep dressing him up in red and black and, apparently, he doesn’t want that.”

“Don’t know why. Red and black are objectively the best colors.”

“Totally,” she said.

Damian babbled angrily some more and attempted to punch her arm. She tried not to show on her face just how much it had hurt.

“I guess yellow is pretty okay,” Tim said, grinning.

“Eh. Yellow is like… the fifth best color. Green is where it’s at.”

Tim made a face. “Ew. Green?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not allowed to talk about what looks good. You had a completely brown suit for ages. Terrible, isn’t that right, Dami?”

Damian clearly had no idea what was going on, he was busy trying to help Marinette pull his pants up (he was accidentally pushing them down but it was the thought that counts… she was pretty sure, at least), but he nodded decisively.

Marinette turned her head away from Tim and Damian, lips pressed together thinly to keep her laughter under control, before she turned back and finished the kid’s outfit.

“See, Tim, even the baby agrees.”

Tim scoffed. “He agrees with everything you say.”

“Because I’m always right.” She leaned forward to nuzzle her nose against Damian’s with a bright smile. “I can already tell you’re going to be the best kid. Isn’t that right?”

Damian giggled.

Tim held the baby as they checked out at 10:55. Usually, he would try to be earlier, but… baby.

Yeah. That was all he needed to say about that.

(If you want to know: Damian had finally managed to succeed in his attempts to fall from a high place, effectively scaring the shit out of both of the teens who were taking care of him. They’d checked him over for any injuries -- it was more difficult than usual, they couldn’t tell him to clench and unclench his fists to make sure they weren’t broken. When they were sure he was okay they took a few moments to hug him and assure themselves that it was fine and that babies were flexible for this exact reason… unfortunately, this ended with the kid learning that falling from high places=hugs and was now, somehow, even more determined to do it.)

Marinette turned to him with a smile.

“Do you want to get the car or do you want to get the baby’s carseat?”

Tim thought for a minute before sighing. “Would you make fun of me if I picked out a stupid-looking carseat?”

“Absolutely.”

He rolled his eyes and handed off the baby like he was a baton in a very weird relay race. “No thanks. I’ll get the car.”

She grinned. “Probably a good idea. Right, see you.”

“Get some baby formula while you’re out.”

Marinette looked down at the kid, eyes wide. “Still?” Then she shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

He tossed the bag of diapers and stuff to her and, with that, they started off in separate directions.

He picked up a rental car from Enterprise. They offered the ability to pay a little extra to leave the car at another location. He doubted that that was in place for things like moving across the country but he wasn’t about to complain.

But, when he picked up Marinette and Damian outside the door and caught sight of the carseat she’d gotten, he absolutely would complain.

“Spiderman?” He said.

“Technically, he’s ArachnidKid, here.”

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her.

She had the decency to look a little sheepish. “He screamed every time I tried to choose anything else.”

Tim sighed and knocked his head against the top of the steering wheel a few times before turning around.

“I’ll deal with the kid while you figure out the thing.”

… or, at least, that was the intention. It turns out that baby carseats are… difficult. They’d pulled into a spot and gave Damian his stuffed cow and a phone to distract him and they’d gotten to work. There were two adults and two magical beings trying to figure it out and not a single one of them had any idea what they were doing. The instructions made absolutely no sense, they may as well have been written in Greek -- except they all knew how to speak and read Greek because of magic. But this shit? Illegible. It was like the written version of baby language. No one knows what was going on, he was beginning to think that the people trying to give them instructions didn’t even know. Tikki was puzzling over the instructions despite this, Marinette was having a breakdown, Tim wanted to be back in his world so he could punch someone, Kaalki was in the process of being eaten by Damian. It was chaos.

They were on the road. Marinette lazed in the passenger seat, feet up on the dashboard as she half-listened to the audiobook Tim had put on -- something about a kid who stole lightning or something (she didn’t see the big deal, it wasn’t like it was hard or anything). Tikki and Kaalki were using her headphones to listen to music. Damian had fallen asleep and was now peacefully sucking on one of the horns of the cow plush.

(He’d, apparently, dubbed the plush ‘Cow’. It was a fitting name, she supposed.)

Tim glanced over at her. “If we get in a crash you’re going to fly through the windshield.”

She lifted the cheap heart-shaped sunglasses she’d bought on impulse while waiting for Tim to show up out of boredom. Just so he could see how unimpressed she was.

“Maybe you should drive well so I don’t have to worry.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. She saw the speedometer drop a bit regardless.

They stopped for food pretty soon after they started on the road. Funny how quickly a day could go by, it was already noon.

They ended up at Carl's Sr., because that was what they had found first.

He bounced Damian on one knee absently. The kid wasn’t thirsty, it seemed, so they were just trying to keep him entertained while they ate. He didn’t know why they bothered, the kid was currently entertaining himself with nothing but a rubber duck.

Marinette nibbled the last of her sandwich. “I wonder if he can have fries.”

“Fy!” Said Damian, who had apparently learned that ‘he’ usually meant him.

“Well, he’s convinced me,” she said.

Tim rolled his eyes. “The book I read said that if you give him regular food he’ll realize ours is better and won’t go back to the baby stuff.”

“Good for him if he stops eating it. I got curious and tried it, it sucks.”

He shrugged a little. “He only needs to keep eating it for, I think, another year…?”

“Two whole years of that stuff? That’s evil. I’m giving him a fry.”

“Fy!” Said Damian again, this time slapping the table to punctuate the word.

Tim sighed and pulled out his phone to check that that was allowed. Apparently, despite the fact that kids can breast feed up to two years (or even longer), they can start with ‘table foods’ around a year. That made exactly zero sense to him but okay.

“... I guess that’s fine,” he said, eventually.

Marinette beamed and tore off a piece of her fry for Damian.

The baby was enlightened.

Despite the fact that they’d originally agreed to split the driving evenly, with long shifts so they could go straight to Gotham without any major setbacks, Marinette ended up doing most of it.

It turns out that Tim got car sick.

She didn’t say anything about it. He seemed embarrassed enough as it was, especially since Marinette and Damian were wholly unaffected.

It was… fine. She used the extra stops to get coffee each time. And, whenever it came time to feed or change Damian, she glared Tim into submission. It may not be entirely his fault that his stomach was protesting the car ride but it inconvenienced her so fuck him.

… she did feel a little bad, though, so she always held his hair out of his face and made sure to give him water so he was fully hydrated.

They arrived in Gotham and collapsed in the hotel bed pretty much the moment they could. They’d done hygiene stuff, of course, neither of them were eager to lay in their filth for the night after an almost day-long drive (there had been a lot of stops)… but once they had bathed and brushed their teeth? And cleaned up Damian? Straight to bed.

Tim had finished up first since his showers were quicker and he rested an arm around Damian to make sure he wouldn’t leave. He needn’t have worried, Damian was apparently just as happy as they were that they were in an actual bed again because he was in dreamland almost the second he’d touched it.

He closed his eyes and relaxed.

The bed dipped a little as Marinette crawled in and he let go of the kid so she could wrap around him per usual.

Tim hesitated here. He’d wrapped an arm around them before, sure, but that was different. That had mostly been a thing he’d done in his sleep.

After a few moments, Marinette sighed and scooted closer, tangling her legs with his.

He flushed red. “Uh?”

“It happens every night anyways, I’m resigned to my fate.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or frown.

She opened her eyes a little and smiled. “Relax. Chat Noir is super touch starved, I’m used to platonically cuddling with people.”

He relaxed a little and hesitantly rested an arm around the pair.

Marinette nuzzled her face into Damian’s hair and closed her eyes again.

He smiled at the scene and started to close his eyes… but then Kaalki caught his gaze.

He gave a small puff of laughter.

“You know, I just remembered something.”

Marinette hummed to say she was listening.

“My power is the ability to create portals.”

“... god fucking damn it.”

~~~~~

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

#kaalki: i just wanted to see what it was like to drive in a car :(#into the unknown #maribat #timari #timinette #shutterbug #timmari #tim drake #red robin #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug

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icollectyoursins · 4 years

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Leone Abbacchio Relationship HCs

🐉 anon asked for: “Abbacchio relationship hcs?? -🐉”

These are just SFW headcanons, so I went a little overboard to compensate for the lack of NSFW although, I’ll no doubt do some in the future. Tried to make these kind of organized so it’s easier to read. This will all be under the cut And, yes, reader is a stand user and can see Moody Blues.

Wanna know what I’m willing to write? Rules here!

Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!

Looking for more? Master post here!

WARNINGS: SFW, brief mentions of nightmares, trauma.

Word Count: 2226

General

Abbacchio is a tough cookie to crack when it comes to romance and forms of affection. He just doesn’t think he’s super into it. Until you gently caress his face while he’s falling asleep or maybe it was the time you curled up next to him while watching a movie. Or the time you casually laced your fingers with his while walking down the street.

Okay, fine, he’s soft, but he would never admit it! Unless he’s been drinking a little too much. Then he’ll tell you how much you mean to him. Or when you’re feeling like shit and super down on yourself.

His nicknames/pet names for you are usually dear, cara/caro (darling/dear), but mostly he just uses your name. He likes the way it sounds! And, honestly, you like the way he says it too.

After you’ve been together for a while, he starts to notice changes in his personality and habits. He’s calmer, doesn’t lash out as much as he used to; he’s less on edge about everything. As well, he noticed that he was drinking less and when he was drinking, it was healthier. It wasn’t long binges in the middle of the night anymore, it was just one or two with friends or for a celebration. He didn’t really realize how much you helped him and how much you meant to him until then. He knew he loved you, of course, but that was really where it clicked in.

You notice the change too. He starts getting more playful in a weird Abbacchio way. It’s small things like poking your side or behind while you’re focused on something. Occasionally, he’ll wrap his arms around your waist from behind and whisper something sweet in your ear that makes you giggle.

When Abbacchio isn’t reading, he’s listening to someone reading. He frequently listens to podcasts, audiobooks, etc. while doing his chores or driving. He thinks it’s a good way to educate himself on current topics or things he’s just interested in. With his whole past, I don’t think he would be interested in true crime or anything like that. Too triggering for him and with you, he really doesn’t want to fall back into old habits.

Now, he’s not perfect and he’s obviously a very hurt individual, so I think it would take someone with a lot of patience to help him get over some of his trauma (and yes, it is trauma). He has his rough days where he’s angrier and more on edge and this makes him more likely to yell or lash out. If you can avoid this, great, but talk to him about it later when he’s calmed down. He needs someone who is good with tense situations who can either calm him down or be able to walk away from the situation and come back later. That being said, you are not his therapist, you are not anyone’s therapist (unless that’s your job). You are their partner. A partner can help with some, but usually, you’re not trained enough to properly deal with something like this.

Dates

He enjoys taking long walks with you, especially near the water. The water is extremely relaxing to him and you’re relaxing to him, so it’s the best of both worlds.

Not overly into picnics, but if you offer, he would be more than happy to indulge you by packing a basket with some nice red wine and a charcuterie board with some sandwiches. Sincerely loves the beach and sitting next to you on a blanket, enjoying the sun on the warmer days just makes him feel so human again.

His favourite dates with you are the ones where you two are on the couch at home together watching a movie. He enjoys the closeness, the relaxed state you’re both in and, of course, the popcorn. Eats it plain to be healthier, but when you’re not looking, he’ll add salt and butter to his. But, then one day one of the boyz introduce him to adding chocolatey things to popcorn (like M&M’s) and that’s it. His loose diet is out the window.

The microwave beeped in the background while you plopped down, flicking through different disks in your hand. You had picked out a classic, cheesy werewolf horror movie by the time Abbacchio sat down with two bowls in hand. He handed him the movie while sneaking a handful of his popcorn into your mouth.

“Mmph!” You let out a muffled sound of shock as warm chocolate squished into your hand. You dropped the chocolate into your bowl, looking at the mess you had just made. “What did you put in your bowl?”

He chucked. “Mn’M’s.”

“Why?”

“Narancia told me to.” The DVD was in and starting up just as he was walking back, shaking the couch as he sat down with a grunt. He pulled a tissue out of the box next to him, handing it to you, then he grabbed his bowl, picking out a piece of warm M&M and sucking it into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. He licked his fingers while you cleaned your palm, frustrated with how little it was cleaning up.

“Ugh, whatever!” You began licking up the remnants earning you another chuckle from Leone. One of you presses play on the remote and settle into each other. You’re curled up into his arm for most of the movie, head leaning on his collar bone. He occasionally kisses the top of your head or pops a piece of popcorn in your mouth.

Soon, the bowls are empty and you’re practically sitting in his lap, holding each other close. He’s so warm, so comfortable. You find yourself starting to nod into sleep. He hums as he feels your breathing slow to a steady rhythm. Yeah, that movie was pretty boring, wasn’t it?

He chuckles, carefully pulling the blanket from the back of the couch, pulling it around you while he got himself comfortable. There was no way he was getting up from this spot, so he might as well join you.

When Abbacchio is feeling fancy or bougie, he’ll take you out to restaurants or tourist attractions. If anyone tries to swindle you out of something, you can guarantee he’s going to at least insult them in some way or maybe just straight up kick them in the face. Regardless, he’ll protect you.

Affection

When in public, he still likes to keep you close, but tones it down a little bit. Usually, he’s got his hand on your back or you’re holding hands, hovering close to each other.

He’s very protective and if the gang’s jokes go too far, he’ll let them know.

In private, he’s obviously more relaxed. He doesn’t need to put on a mask around you, so he just lets it all go. He’ll come up while you’re doing chores and either hug you from behind or spin you around for a kiss before letting you continue whatever it was you were doing with no explanation.

Very rarely lets you do his makeup, but when he does, he’s a little cheeky about it and kind of anal all at the same time. The easiest way for you to do his make up is sitting in his lap, so already he’s cocky about it, but then you start getting to the eyeliner and he gets picky.

You perched yourself on Leone’s lap, carefully buffing out a natural-looking eyeshadow with a brush. Occasionally, he would crack open an eye, looking up to see the concentration on your face as you avoided any fall out from the shadow. He squeezed your thighs pleasantly then massaged circles into the soft flesh. You looked into his open eye with a coy smirk before returning to your work.

You dipped the brush into the pallet again, this time a lighter shade for the inner corner of his eyes. Gently, you pressed the pigment in from the edge of the lid to the corner, then, like before, you buffed it out back into the lid. His hands began to wander, sliding up and down your thighs. You gave him another look, but he wasn’t paying attention this time, eyes closed. You scoffed.

Finally, you finished, moving onto the eyeliner, picking out a sleek black You started with the outer corner, going for a winged look. Before you were able to press a line in, he grabbed your hand quickly, pushing it back so he could open his eyes.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he said. You sat back, exasperated.

“I haven’t even done anything!”

The two of you got into a small playful argument of “oh, I’ll do it,” “no, I’ll do it.” Until eventually you settled with him doing your makeup in exchange.

“Thank you, now.” You reached for two shades of lipstick, one purple and one black. “Which one do you want?” He rolled his eyes, grabbing the black as well as a handheld mirror.

“No, no, no. You get to do your eyeliner, not your lipstick! The lipstick is mine.” You playfully kissed his lips before pulling everything from his hands, earning you a groan from Abbacchio.

Seeing as we’re talking about sitting on his lap! He loves it. Just, any physical touch from you makes him feel so loved, especially when alone at home. He particularly enjoys when you’re pressed up against him while reading a book or watching a movie with his arm around you. Alternatively, he enjoys your legs tossed over his thighs or his over yours.

Around the House

Now, chores. Abbacchio doesn’t like chores. He’ll do them if you ask, but he’s not gonna like it. Least favourite is laundry. He just kind of chucks his clothes on the floor in a pile until you tell him to move it or do it yourself. You can’t tell the difference between his clean clothes and dirty clothes, so you mostly let him deal with it when the pile gets big enough or he runs out of clothes.

Doesn’t hate doing the dishes, so he actually gets stuck with that since you’re doing almost everything else. If you’ve recently had the rest of the Bucci gang over, he’s less inclined to do it. Narancia and Mista both tend to be slobs, so their plates are always nasty, but he does it anyway, just complains a lot later. Nastiness aside, doing the dishes slowly becomes a therapy moment for him. Just his music, a bunch of clean dishes and pure peace.

Much like with dishes, he doesn’t hate vacuuming or dusting and will do it when asked, but doesn’t like it. Honestly, he’s not the best at vacuuming, he always misses corners and forgets to do one place, so you do most of it.

Look, I’m not saying he’s a slob, he’s not, but he can get a little lazy, especially on his rougher days. That being said, if it’s a special day or he’s feeling a little romantic and has something planned, he’ll do everything. It won’t be perfect, but the sentiment is there.

Sleeping

He has a very cute snore. It’s not loud or obnoxious, it’s soft and relaxed. Honestly, kind of soothing. That is IF you’re able to hear it. He usually doesn’t sleep until you do, but it’s very precious.

Prefers being big spoon or ‘the pillow’ where you sleep on some body part of his (his thighs are exceptionally comfy and, of course, his pecs). He usually wraps one arm around you if he can, rubbing his thumb against your shoulder or forearm.

But, one night, you got in bed late and he was already asleep, so you came up behind him, wrapping your arm around his waist then stroking his stomach softly. He’ll never let you know, but he was awake. That was the day he discovered he loved being a little spoon. He won’t fight if you happen to do it again.

Regardless, Abbacchio is clingy when he sleeps. Not bear hug, but always has an arm around you to make sure you’re there and safe.

He gets some nightmares, of course. Doesn’t scream, just jolts awake and goes to grab a glass of water, then comes back, so it’s unlikely he’d wake you up from a deep sleep. If you are awake, ask him what he needs. Sometimes he needs you to hold him, other times he needs just some time alone, but remind him you are there for anything. If you’ve already got a glass of water next to his bed, he’s head over heels. So thankful. Might make you breakfast the next morning as a proper thank you.

Stand

What does Moody Blues think? Well, much like its user, it’s very analytical and almost cold when it comes to you, though if Abbacchio is away from you for a little longer than usual, but still in range (like being kept in a meeting too long while you’re in the car waiting) he’ll send his stand to you and help you relax a bit by letting you cuddle “Abbacchio” (the stand copying it’s user), or just let you relax with the stand itself!

Actually, if he’s busy at home and you’re tired, MB will replay a time where you were cuddling in bed, or on the couch so you can snuggle with someone at least.

#leone abbacchio #leone abbacchio x reader #abbacchio x reader #abbacchio #leone abbachio #leone abbachio x reader #abbacchio prompts #sfw

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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sorry for all the harry potter posting in 2021…. but like….. reflecting on just how dark the later books were/are, why on earth did every harry potter fan always romanticise having a movie marathon with the movies??? like yeah, it’s basically what i’ve been doing for the last few weekends staying at my sister’s on my own…. and since i’ve been awake this morning, i’ve gone through ootp, hbp and deathly hallows part 1 so far….. and like…… these movies, to me, aren’t really made for marathon watching/binge watching in a sense….. due to the heavy subject matter imo. they’re made to be standalone (although part of a series) viewed movies one by one, not back to back to back in succession; when there’s just so many incredibly substantial themes like death and obviously racism, systemic corruption etc etc. to be thought about while watching.

like of course everyone is going to say that im reading far too deeply into this and that the hp books and movies are trash….. but like the constant romanticisation in the 2000s and early 2010s of wanting to do harry potter marathons as if they were as cutesy and happy go-lucky as romcoms…. or simply just as lighthearted kids movies backed by whimsy and fuzzy feelings back in the day, was just so fucking backward.

like obvs since im older now, i can see that harry was abused by petunia & vernon for example. and by reading other teen fiction (specifically aussie YA fiction series’ tomorrow when the war began series and the ellie chronicles trilogy); harry’s horrible dreams/flashbacks of cedric before/after he was killed in goblet of fire is a symptom of PTSD (which i read in harry potter essays in uni when i did i philosophy essay on epistemic injustice in ootp in the courtroom scene). i can actually see how harry is being used as a pawn by dumbledore in his master plan. and obvs in analysing these things im putting my apparently “useless” arts degree in english and philosophy to use lmao. and of course as kids, we either ignored those themes or never picked up on them because they went straight over our heads.

on this bent then, another YA movie series that is NOT made for binge watching is the hunger games. which i found out to my own kind of detriment last year….. considering that i had never bothered to read the books back when they were popular past the titular namesake hunger games book (and had also forgotten all the early 2010s tumblr posts about how dark it was)…. while deciding to watch all the movies til catching fire part 1 in a binge watch sesh in the middle of 2020. the binge watch sesh was also spurred on by the book about young president snow that came out in 2020 lol.

so last year, when i finally decided to watch hunger games, i could actually understand and contemplate the political ramifications of katniss’s & peeta’s behaviour and defiance… which was something that i completely brushed off while it was hugely popular in the early 2010s because it was “too political”…… while i utterly denied the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS major political undertones and themes in harry potter because i was so obsessed with it….. but I obvs was most specifically preoccupied with what hogwarts house i’d be in lmao and whether i was more like hermione/luna/ginny or a mix of all of them. like yeah. it was so backward.

of course, the HP movies do have a bingeable quality to them; but my god. from really goblet of fire onwards, they’re heavy as fuck and really don’t need to be binged back to back in succession….. like you can do with how i met your mother or Loki eps in terms of tv shows. or idek, for movies, old rom-com faves like suddenly 30/13 going on 30 or rom-coms starring sandra bullock (bc they’re some of my faves)…. or teen indie comedy faves like juno or napoleon dynamite.

bc harry potter at it’s core, is a war story, more obviously from the end of GOF til the end of the series. it’s heavy, it’s dark, and emotionally devastating (for me when i was younger obvs). in some scenes, such as when harry returns with cedric’s dead body in GOF and it’s backed by the cheery marching band music but then drowned out by fleur’s scream and amos diggory dramatically scream sobbing “MY BOOOOOY!!! MY SOOON!!! MY BOY IS DEAD!!!!” (which as a kid i used to laugh incredibly inappropriately at every bloody time i watched it)…. but NOW??? THE PAIN! THE SUFFERING! THE TURMOIL! which is finally paired with the sad score music and camera panning out from the tri-wizard cup school stadium??? oh! i am but torn asunder by it all (okay not really, but i feel amos’s pain more acutely and i can shed a tear or two is the point here). and speaking of GOF, it’s pretty sad that over the years, it’s always been reduced to “C A L M L Y” and hermione’s yule ball dress being pink instead of blue bc of both the real and supposed lack of book to film accuracy…. when there’s obvs more important things to focus on lol.

bc literally one of the most horrifying scenes in the gof movie for me, in retrospect, is voldemort being reborn???? and wormtail sacrificing his own hand to get that essentially cursed silver hand that ends up strangling him to death in DHP1. and also david tennant’s albeit very disappointingly short appearances as barty crouch jr???? that was good casting. and also the incredibly fucked up storyline in GOF of BCJ imprisoning the real mad eye moody in moody’s own enchanted chest for his hair for polyjuice potion???? it hit me last week again (bc it hit me in 2020 when i reread the series with audiobooks as well) just how ridiculously FUCKED UP and BATSHIT that ENTIRE storyline really was. and i read and watched that???? and was fine with it at 10 years old???? jesus christ lmao.

okay. i went a bit off topic and overboard. but y’all get what i mean??? it’s so weird that an entire generation romanticised a YA series that was essentially about a war in its later instalments (and obvs a full blown one by deathly hallows) as some cutesy marathonable story bc it was/is so whimsical and its filled with childhood memories. but in doing it myself over the last few weeks, it’s just not. it was definitely one of the heftiest book series for kids/teens back then. but also for the movies, aside for their run times mostly all being close to 3hrs long, they’re quite emotionally charged and are astonishingly dark & dense in subject matter/themes for a KIDS movie series for the backend of the series. and mostly the only reason it’s “marathonable” in a sense, is because we all know the story so well.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona liveblogs her rewatching of the hp movies #harry potter #HP

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almondscroissant · 3 years

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hey, sweet friend. how are you doing? how's everything going on with you? i hope you're doing great. just wanted to say hi and ask you for book recommendations lol since you won't send me the playlist i asked for 🙄 jk jk honestly take your time. i recently got back into reading again would really like recommendations. just tell me your favorite books or something. other than that nothing much happening with me. but thanks to you i am obsessed with sage green now💀.

💜💜💜💜💜💜

Akjdkfjskdk call me out for that playlist lmao. I will finish it one day, I promise!!!! 😅

But oooh okay, book recs I can do! And congrats on getting back into reading. I hope I can help you find something you love! I'm not sure if you have a preference for certain genres, but I'll just list different things I've read recently and enjoyed/a few all-time faves:

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman: one of my favorites, even though I feel like the marketing absolutely tricked me lmao (Reese Witherspoon, i am looking directly at you ...) This book is so clever and quirky and heartwarming, but it also deals with darker topics and a character living with the effects of childhood trauma. (I can be more specific on the triggers if you'd like me to!) All that said, it's such a special book to me and the friendship is just the best <3

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall: so sweet!!!!! so funny!!!!!! so warm!!!!!

One Day in December by Josie Silver: a controversial pick dksjdks. Some people really don't like this one because there is a cheating element to it, but boyyyy the angst and boyyyyy the pining. I picked it up in the middle of a reading slump and I flew through it.

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson: this book has my whole heart!

The Heartstopper series by Alice Oseman: it's a graphic novel series and it is so soft!!!!!

Ring Shout by P. Djèli Clark: Probably my favorite thing I've read all year. It's about a trio of Black girls in the early 20th century fighting demons/the KKK. The concept is so unique and it was very short but made me feel more than books twice its page length. 14/10 recommend!!!!!!!

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse: It's a fantasy inspired by pre-Columbian cultures in the Americas and it was such a ride!!!!!! (I also recommend reading this one while listening to the audiobook. SUPER FUN.)

Circe by Madeline Miller: big kill men energy. Her writing is unparalleled!

Legendborn by Tracy Deon: I just finished this one and while I have mixed feelings about the romance (I can just feel a love triangle looming and ksjdksjdksd), the story is so interesting! It's got mythology and magic and twists all over the place!

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune: just !!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Lumatere Chronicles by Melina Marchetta (first book is Finnikin of the Rock): this is the first high fantasy series I ever read and it legit blew my mind?? I just fell in love with every single character and I knew the author was a genius (her book Jellicoe Road also blew my mind!!!!) but this really sealed the deal.

The Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo: maybe you've heard of them lol. But I mean, they are a good time!!!! Also starring the two loves of my life: Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa.

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater: do not worry if you don't understand a single thing that is happening while you read this; it is the universal experience, it is part of the full scale hallucinogenic quality of the writing. Bonus factor: my son Richard Gansey III, the one character who, if I learned he was created in a lab to be unlikable to me specifically, I would not be surprised. (He's my fave.)

And some books I'm planning to read soon:

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers

Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley

Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

A Thousand Ships by Natalie Haynes

Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno

Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell

If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha

I'm stopping because I'll just keep adding stuff lol, but I really do hope you can find something here that appeals to you!!! 💖💖💖

#ALSO YAY SAGE GREEN!!!!!!#which books are your faves???#i know i left things out and it's driving me bananas dksjdksjd i'll add onto this if i can think of them!#but i truly hope at least one of these works for you!!! happy reading!!!!#anonymous

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fluentisonus · 3 years

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Hello! I've read The Hobbit, LOTR and the Silmarillion, but it seems that you do get more details than I do when I read it. Do you do close reading? Pls I want to appreciate these works deeper but I'm stupid and I always miss on the cute stuff (like when you posted that Legolas learnt dwarf history through Gimli)

Ahh this is very sweet! <3 So firstly I have to say that my knowledge of Tolkien is actually really patchy tbh! And my reading style is definitely a little patchy too, so I wouldn't necessarily say I know a lot of the details and such overall. I guess for me I read different ways depending on how I’m feeling, so sometimes I’ll read for the feelings and the words and the enjoyment of the way Tolkien writes, and sometimes I come at it more like research, or picking apart certain concepts. Since you’re asking about details I assume you’re more after the latter (but correct me if I’m wrong!), so here’s sort of how I tend to go about things:

I do reread things a lot, and actually for the Lord of the Rings for instance I do a lot of this by audiobook (here's a link to one!), because I can work with my hands while I do it (e.g. drawing) and it makes it easier to pay attention to. Then if there's anything I want to look more into I can pause and look in the physical book itself (or a pdf online), and maybe pick apart the language or mark up the text or something. Also I don't always reread the whole thing straight through, but rather reread it bits and pieces depending on what interests me -- so for example I might go and reread just the first half of The Two Towers, or just the Mirkwood part of The Hobbit, depending on how I’m feeling, and focus on what’s going on there specifically; and then do full rereads every now and then to sort of “string it together” as it were.

In terms of details when I’m reading, imo, I think instead of staring broad and working my way inwards (e.g. reading all the way through a book very closely and remembering all the details), what tends to work better for me is to read normally and then when I come across a detail or scene that interests me I sort of circle outward from there. So I might read Gimli call himself a “dwarf of many journeys” and then think about Gimli’s history, how Gimli might have traveled before this, the ways in which Dwarves in general might travel, etc. Which in turn leads me to various bits of The Hobbit, the Durin’s Folk bit in the appendices, maybe even bits of the Silm etc etc. Which might in turn be a way that I find more interesting details elsewhere to expand on. This is also something I tend to do on a broader scale: I pick a certain character or culture or such and read everything I can find about them, and end up learning other things along the way that I can then pursue as well. So for example you mentioned that bit I got from the Peoples of Middle Earth about Legolas and Gimli: what I was doing when I found that quote is going through and finding everything it had to say about the Dwarves and reading that. This maybe isn't the best or most thorough method (and I still intend to read it all the way through eventually) but it just tends to work best with how I think, in that I like to follow the “paths” of certain concepts, and make connections that way.

If you don’t know where to find the info you want in Tolkien, like if you don’t remember all the places you might have heard it before or want to know about additional places it might have been discussed, there’s also the tried and true method for any wiki where you find a cool bit of information in one of the articles and then go down and check their sources for it, and read the text that it comes from. So if you look up a particular interest on Tolkien Gateway (for instance) and then go look at where they got their info, which ensures you’ll know if they’re just making things up and in particular you’ll know the context it came from. Especially because there’s a lot of “info” out there in pop culture articles etc that aren’t really reflective of the original (for example: you’ll find everywhere that Legolas is like 2000 years old, and afaict this isn’t even from the movies themselves so much as a companion to them or something. and like, it’s a fine headcanon for his age, he could well be 2000! but there’s actually nothing in Tolkien that says or even suggests this & I personally tend to think of him as younger).

I guess in general I would say if you’ve read those three, I wouldn’t really stress over like. working your way through a reading list and memorizing everything, so much as just pursuing what interests you about the text as you come across it, and you’ll naturally pick up more details that way. This won’t get you a broad overall knowledge right away but I think it really does help to make your understanding of the world richer and better at noticing little things, etc. But also this may not be the best way for you, since we all think it different ways!

#sorry this is a bit rambling bc I don't really have any consistent way of doing things. I hope it helps though!#thank you for the ask it was interesting to think about!#I also just want to say that I actually have a terrible memory and usually when I talk about things on here I double check them first #so if it comes across as particularly knowledgeable that’s largely why #don’t feel bad about not remembering things right away or not having an amazing mind for detail #also I'm definitely not a tolkien expert haha so take anything I say with a grain of salt #long post #tolkien #ask #anon

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dragonstoravens · 4 years

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Babylon Vol. 1: Bad Behavior, A Dancer in her Own Right

[ID: a blue patterned banner with text reading “BABYLON.” End ID.]

(Two chapters today, but this one’s a bit of a shorter update anyway. Believe it or not, we’re getting towards the end of volume 1 now!! It’ll be all posted by the end of December, and then in the new year at some point we’ll start posting 2. We’re also looking into Wattpad, and maybe even making an audiobook, so keep an eye out for those updates. Enjoy the chapters!)

Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @charlottedotexe @glitterandstarshine @rainbowcoloreddays @the-starlight-chills @erased-in-stone

General: @elywritesbydarkness @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @skyfirewrites @viawrites-andacts

17. Bad Behavior

A tap on her shoulder alerted Azure to someone just behind her. She turned, smile plastered to her face. The woman was about her age, grinning conspiratorially. That was never good, in her book. Grinning usually meant there was a plan for the conversation, and conspiratorially meant she’d have to actually participate. She washed away her distaste for the idea with some champagne before speaking.

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Oh no, we haven’t. Samantha Whitewater, my family owns the Whitewater mining firm.” The introduction was followed by a small bow, which Azure returned. A colony family, then. Whitewater continued. “I just wanted to congratulate you.”

Congratulate her? She hadn’t done anything of note to these people. She never made deals and she talked about herself as little as possible, trying to create a black box of a history no one would question. There was nothing to congratulate, and even less for a stranger to bring up out of nowhere. She touched the comm.

Hey Hotshot, you remember anyone from the Whitewater family?

I think I got a proposal from them once, he responded. More business than pleasure, though I think they wanted a marriage too. At least they didn’t keep pushing when I denied both.

That was all she needed. At least Samantha and her family had manners. Her smile relaxed to something more genuine. She didn’t know what she was about to be congratulated for, but at least it wouldn’t be underhanded. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, things have been awful slow for me lately.”

“Oh, nothing like that. I’m just congratulating you on making such a good match. No one else here could say the same, though of course the Jericho name is something of a hot-ticket item to many of us. My own family included, I have to admit.” She laughed like it was some kind of joke between friends, and Azure’s blood pressure rose. Trinity, seeming to just take notice of the conversation as Azzy’s burgeoning anger began to make itself known through their mental link, began to turn, a crease in his brow the only sign of confusion showing through the ice-sculpture poise he wore around these events like armor.

She blinked to cover for the twitch in her eye, tucking her hands behind her back to cover the sparking. She ignored the vague warning of Azzy, no, that buzzed in the back of her head from Trinity, bulldozing on. “I wasn’t aware he was on sale in the first place.” Her words came out clipped, stilted, and poisonously sweet. Speaking of her friend as though he was an item made her stomach churn, even in retaliation. These events often weren’t terrible until something like this came up, the word choice surrounding people objectifying and economic in the worst manner. But never once had someone brazenly spoken about Trinity to her face before, like it was normal or expected. That was her friend Whitewater was talking about, the one who’d taught her about shrimp forks and helped her reach high shelves in her lab and made poorly edited images of frogs telling bad jokes for her when she was sad. She seethed. “I suppose that would explain why you caught me off guard then.”

The woman blinked. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what it’s like where you come from--” the incredibly rude phrasing was somehow undercut by the fact that she still didn’t seem to think she was insulting anyone at all-- “but clearly you’re not used to this kind of society. We’re all a commodity here. The best he or anyone should hope for is to find someone equally as useful to him as he is to them, and maybe someone he can get along with-- though with someone as Icy as Jericho I never held out too much hope for that. That could have been me, but I guess it’s you.”

Azure opened her mouth to speak, but Trinity’s hand on her back stopped her just long enough for her to hear him out. Azure. She’s right. Drop it.

Azure shot back a response with a dangerous growl entering her mental voice, indignant and angry and protective. I don’t recall askin’ how anyone else here felt about it but me, so you drop it. She cleared her throat, her tone once more painted over with a thin veneer of polite but apparent disdain. “It is me, thank you very much Miss Whitewater. I wish you the very best of luck in finding someone merely useful to you.” If it wasn’t going to get her kicked out, she’d have spat at the woman’s feet like she used to when people bullied Crim in elementary school. Instead, she grinned conspiratorially with entirely too many of her teeth. “Because as we both know, that’s simply the most one can hope for in this wonderful little bubble.”

“Like you’ve done any better.” Whitewater finally seemed perturbed, angry that something was disrupting her sterile worldview. Her lip curled slightly. “That man touches you like he’d rather be doing anything else. Two inches away from anything that could be considered a little risque, even while dancing? At least someone like me would’ve known what I was getting into, with someone like him.”

Trinity saw Azzy draw in a breath, and knew whatever she was about to say would be even worse. So before it could leave her mouth. Trinity had turned fully to face the two of them, and in an instant his arm was wrapped firmly around her waist. His hand rested squarely on her hip-- right on the strip of skin her dress’ cutout bodice left exposed to the air. His fingers dug into her flesh just slightly. Not hard enough to even leave prints on the skin, but just enough to send a message. Azzy relaxed in posture only, looking for all the world like a guard dog that had just been told to sit as she looked up at him sidelong. “I’m sorry, Miss Whitewater, but my date and I have business elsewhere. Will this be all?”

“Of course. Enjoy your evening, Jericho. Garza.” Whitewater’s voice was stilted. Trinity turned Azzy around and used his arm around her to begin to shepard her away-- he wasn’t sure she was prepared to actually leave this alone, left to her own devices. They made it about ten feet before Azure looked back over her shoulder, sliding her arm around his waist as well and winking back at Whitewater, Garza’s supposed devious intention with Trinity on display. Internally, there was a small blip of take that, asshole, and then a self satisfied calm. Trinity sighed. He hated to play into whatever that was, but unfortunately a deserted hallway was likely the only place he was going to be able to talk to Azzy alone. He tugged her away into a winding passage off to the side of the main ballroom, gritting his teeth as he imagined the scandalized stare that Whitewater woman was probably still sending after them. He couldn’t deny that it was… amusing, to an extent. But he liked to avoid attention he wasn’t looking for at this kind of thing, and the last thing he needed was a jilted business-lover spreading around the fact that he’d pulled his date into a secret corner in the middle of an event. What was done was done, though, and he had to admit he hoped Whitewater felt sufficiently humiliated by the end of all that. Whatever it was.

Finally satisfied they were alone, he let go of Azzy-- careful not to let his hands linger a second longer than they had to-- and sighed, leaning against the wall with a slightly bemused smile. “What was that about? And why did it seem to have everything and nothing to do with me?”

Azure blew a stray curl from her face, absently rubbing her hip where he’d touched her with her opposite arm. The consequences of her actions appeared to be finally setting in, and her face was apologetic in that same way it was when she realized she’d started eating in massive bites at dinner instead of polite and small ones yet again. She looked almost bashful as she looked up at him. “Sorry Hotshot, I just...I don’t know, she started talkin’ about you like you were a thing instead of a person. I’m used to ‘em talkin’ about how hot you are, and that’s fine because it’s true at least, but no one’s ever said anythin’ like that about you right to my face before, it pissed me off.” She finally let her own hip go, shaking her hands to rid them of sparks and avoiding his eyes to avoid letting it be known just how honest she was about to be. “It’s rude, and it’s dehumanizin’, and I just believe real strongly that you deserve better than that.”

Trinity almost denied it, wanting to cite times he certainly had not deserved better, but the last thing he wanted was to open up that can of worms. The wound of his profiteering off that war-torn planet was still too fresh, his apology still somewhat inadequate. Instead, he just shook his head. “I know what you think, but whether that’s truly how I am or not, it’s how I’ve presented myself for years to these people. Besides, she practically called you a bumpkin to your face too, and I’m not sure you even noticed.” He felt something soften slightly inside him as he looked at his friend. She’d been defending him. God strike him down if he knew why. God would probably strike him down regardless.

She waved a hand, looking unaffected. “Who gives a shit about me? I am a bumpkin for all these people should care. But you’re…” she struggled, squinting her eyes and scrunching her freckled nose as the machinery of her mind ground its way to some kind of an end to her sentence that was eloquent. It failed. Instead, she came out with: “You’re cooler’n they are and they should admit it to themselves and act with some damn respect.”

Trinity tried and failed for several moments to hold himself together before he burst, doubling over with laughter. She’d never seen him laugh like this in person-- heard it, maybe, over a particularly good meme or something, but never like this, actual tears forming in his eyes. She grinned, wide and crooked, her job here complete. He slapped his knee, struggling to straighten back up. “Ah, Az. You’ve brought us full circle.” He wiped a hand over his eyes. “I give a shit about you. I am also what she said about me. And you are also ‘cooler’n’ them. Yes?”

Now suddenly she was bashful again. No one ever called her cool. Smart, maybe, or nice or even helpful sometimes, but never cool. She blushed. “Sure. At least I know how to act normal. Sorta. In comparison, at least.” Her hand reached up to scratch behind her ear, sympathy painting her features. “It’s a sad little life she’s about to lead. Honestly, I hope it’s what she actually wants or else she’s gonna be damn lonely without an actual someone to connect with.”

“It’s a sad life most of us lead,” was his only response. His face was turned slightly from her, into the shadows of the dark hallway, leaving his expression unreadable. “Sometimes there are things more important than our own happiness. Shall we?” He held out a hand, gesturing back down the hall towards the well-lit bustle of the ballroom. It struck Azzy that things in this world seemed to hide better among glitter and blinding lights than they did in the dark. Nevertheless, she placed her own hand gently in his.

“Now remember, act like you like me or else I might actually have to throw down one of these days.”

“Right, right.” Trinity huffed out a tiny little laugh, his fingers finding the skin of her hip once more. “As long as you’re alright with it.”

“I’m a bad actor, this is easier.” She leaned her head into his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning into him. “Plus, this way I don’t even have to stand up straight.”

18. A Dancer In Her Own Right

Her boots made a gentle beat against the hard metal of the floor. One step then another, sure of herself even as she looked in the opposite direction to her movement. There was a rhythm to her every sway, every object she tossed over her shoulder and caught in the other hand a step in a dance she was choreographing on the spot. Something from this drawer, cross the room to another cabinet, all of it swirling around that constant central point that was the examination table and her workbench. Watching her set up for a deep maintenance test was like witnessing a ballet. Her stretch for something off a high shelf was easy, graceful. She knew exactly how far everything was, exactly how many steps to get there. She carried the objects she collected as though they weighed nothing, a spring in her step the whole way.

Trinity sat on a counter as far out of her way as he could get, but he might as well not have been there at all, for all having another person in her space slowed her down. He couldn’t help but marvel a bit at the sureness of her movements, now that she was in a place entirely her own. In society and on a ballroom floor she stumbled occasionally, one might even assume she was clumsy. That thought would be long gone the moment they saw this dance, one made by and for her, the perfect combination of grace and power. Ballroom dances were as much for the observers as the dancers themselves, but being able to observe this felt like a privilege more than a right. Being allowed to appreciate this sight as an outsider, a friend but someone who would admit freely that he couldn’t even begin to understand her, was a gift. In this moment, Trinity relaxed, and let himself appreciate the organic yet mechanical beauty of her, without letting his brain get in the way. After all, dancing was supposed to be instinct above thought.

She held out a hand, and he automatically picked up a wrench that sat at his side, placing the handle in her palm. She took it without looking, and the dance went on. She vaulted casually onto a countertop like it was the most natural thing in the world, grabbing some gray box off a shelf near the ceiling and hopping down without a hint of hesitation, no signs of exhaustion as sparks flew in her wake. She made her way back to the center to drop both things off, to pick up something else, to continue this seemingly endless waltz. Individual curls of hair freed themselves from her braid, her beanie long discarded in favor of having the goggles she typically wore around her neck situated atop her head. She stopped briefly at the edge of her stage, only to map out a new path that carved the edges of the room from the center, a small bucket in hand to hold whatever things she needed as she went along. She needed a lot of trinkets and tools, and she knew what each of them were. She paused briefly in front of him, and pointed above his head. It took him a moment to insert himself into her rhythm again, then he knew what she wanted without words. He slid off the counter and held out his hands to make a step for her, boosting her up to whatever it was she needed to reach. She stepped lightly onto his outstretched hands, opening a cabinet and pulling a bottle down in the same motion as her descent back to the ground. She flashed him a grin, crooked and pleased. He heard a snippet of something she was humming to herself, low and sweet, her own orchestra to accompany her own dance.

Now that he was no longer needed for the moment, Trinity hopped back up on the counter, content to just watch her work in perfect harmony with herself.

#wip: babylon #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #chapter update

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literary-masochism · 4 years

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Midnight Sun: Chapter One - My Descent Into Madness

(reposted from my blog)

I kind of want to be dramatic and say I have a long, sordid history with Twilight, but I’m not sure that’s accurate. I do have a history, but it is one of pain, tears, and frustration.

I’m a firm believer in reading a ‘bad’ book to form your own opinion on it instead of just believing what you’re told...

The criticisms against Twilight were more than justified.

It took me multiple attempts to get through the first book – The first time I didn’t even finish the first chapter. I loathed Bella Swan from the moment we met her. She whined nonstop, she bitched nonstop, and was instantly so shallow and two-faced to everyone she met that I wanted to punch her in her (at the time) nondescript face.

But I tried again and again and finally finished the series. I remember crying during the Breaking Dawn because nothing was fucking happening and there was so much left in the book and I just wanted it to END.

Then my brain, trying to save me, made me forget everything about what I read. When I realized what had happened, I checked my Goodreads to make sure I did, in fact, read those books and they weren’t just a fever dream sent by the forces of evil to torment me.

As much as I appreciated the attempt, I earned those scars... at least audiobooks are easier to get through, even though I had to pause them to rage, again, at the idiocy.

And now... Now we have Midnight Sun. I believe I skimmed the leaked book but never gave it any real attention... so, of course, the full book gets released the day after my 34th birthday.

Joy.

But it gives me an excuse to try something I always wanted to do: Snarking bad books... because if I have to suffer, you might as well too!

So... without further delay... here is the first chapter, as seen by me, of Midnight Sun.

Chapter 1: First Sight

We open up with Edward being a melodramatic prick about having to go to school and how boring it is.

THIS WAS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN I MOST WISHED I WERE ABLE TO SLEEP.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there were any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

Followed quickly by how much humans, especially teenagers, suck absolute ass.

When it came to the human mind, I’d heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body. It took so little to work them up. I’d seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—it was the same reaction as one would get from flashing a shiny object at a group of toddlers. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves infatuated with her, just because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Don’t you just love him already?

This is only the first page... It’s not even a full page... Edward tells us how he tries not to listen to his siblings then tells us exactly what his siblings are thinking.

He shames Rosalie for thinking about how hot she is, but since that’s her only personality trait we ever got in the entire saga (besides bitch), I’m not that worked up over it. She’s hot and she knows it.

Emmett is just thinking about kicking Jasper’s ass which, I feel, is a goal everyone should aspire to because Jasper’s thoughts...

And Jasper was… suffering.

GOOD

Alice mentally calls his name and Edward is kind enough to let us know that it’s just the same as if someone said it out loud... you know, because we’re too dumb to work that out ourselves.

Also, he is so thankful that the name EDWARD has ‘fallen out of style’ in the last few decades.

Alice is worried about Jasper slaughtering everybody within a ten-mile radius because he’s become a literal statue (because Meyerpires are made of stone and this is in no way a ripoff of Anne Rice) and, stupidly, she asks Edward how he’s doing...

I guess Alice forgot she could, you know, SEE INTO THE FUTURE. Because checking to see if your boyfriend is about to go on a murder spree is a telepathy situation.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN FUTURE!

Was it really necessary to experiment this way? Wouldn’t the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle his thirst as well as the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

YES! WHY?!

For a group of vampires that don’t want to kill humans, so we’re told, they certainly don’t give a fuck if they kill humans.

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided.

So... which is it?

Edward thinks about how oblivious the humans around them are and how they avoid the ‘odd-looking’ group.

Okay, if I had to guess, the avoidance has more to do with how fucking weird you are. A group of five incredibly attractive (And yet odd-looking? Sure Meyer) teenagers sitting by themselves with full trays of food that they don’t eat, all while wearing designer clothing. They don’t talk to each other, they barely even look at each other...

That’s fucking weird. THEY’RE WEIRD.

Meyer: They’re either so attractive as to lure their prey in for the kill or they’re so inhuman looking that no one wants to go near them. It can’t be both.

Anyway, a girl walks by and Edward starts frothing at the mouth while he and Jasper get a vampire erection over Jasper imagining MURDERING AN INNOCENT GIRL.

Also, calling her a ‘little girl’ is very creepy in an entirely different way. Just sayin’.

Edward snaps Jasper out of it and Alice lies and says he wasn’t going to slaughter an innocent human being in the middle of the cafeteria.

We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.

Shut the ever-loving-fuck up.

And Alice, ever-so-helpfully, reminds Jasper to think of humans as people... because, you know, they aren’t really. Not compared to vampires anyway.

Someone mentally says the name ‘Edward’ so Edward turns to them as though they had actually called his name. Only it was in his head, not in real life. In case you didn’t catch that. That Edward is telepathic... so he hears thoughts as though they were being spoken to him. That’s why he looked over when someone thought his name.

In case you didn’t understand what was going on.

This is the first time Edward sees Bella and... he gives no fucks. But wait! Turns out it was Jessica Stanley thinking about him, not Bella!

In fact, Jessica thinks Bella is already crushing on all the Cullens.

Good for you, Jessica, not assuming Bella is only after the undead D. Rosalie/Bella shippers thank you.

Edward is relieved Jessica got over her fixation on him (because it’s totally normal for teenager girls to crush on weird-looking weirdos). He then goes on to show he has no idea how teenage girls (or adult women for that matter) work:

What a relief it had been when she’d gotten over her misplaced fixation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I’d wished, at the time, that I could explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies.

That is the exact fantasy most TwiHards were having.

Jessica complains that she doesn’t see why all the boys are looking at Bella, thinking she’s ‘not even pretty’. I know this is supposed to make Jessica unlikable but, you know what? That is a very wounded teenage thought process. It’s immature and turning the blame somewhere else but that’s teenagers in a nutshell.

Edward comments on Jessica’s new obsession with Mike Newton – creepily calling him a child.

There is the implication that Jessica’s not a nice person because she’s being outwardly nice to Bella while bad-mouthing her mentally and... that’s such a Christian mentality: the idea that your thoughts matter as much as your actions. Just putting that out there because, clearly, we can see what Meyer’s opinion on that is… as long as it’s one of the Cullens or Bella doing the thinking, it’s fine! In Twilight, Bella was putting down everyone who looked at her until the hideously beautiful Edward was so mean to her.

No, I didn’t forget that shit.

Jessica continues being a teenager girl, hoping that with Bella’s ever-shining light of beauty shining beside her that maybe Senpai Mike will notice her.

And, of course, Edward is an asshole because he’s upset that a teenager girl has teenage thoughts.

He tells Emmett what’s going down with the new girl and tries to listen in on Bella’s thoughts to see what she thinks about all this.

And, because Bella doesn’t actually have thoughts, all Edward hears in the unending howling void.

Edward tells us he has to use his powers to protect his family! He has to listen to everyone’s thoughts in case anyone gets suspicious about the beautiful/weird/attractive/repulsive family in their midst.

I feel like that would be easier if Edward didn’t actively try to ignore everyone.

But sometimes people get it right and the Cullens have to disappear before... I don’t know. Meyerpires are indestructible by humans to the point that they can outrun nuclear bombs. The Vultori might come whine at them for exposing the secret but by that point, the Cullens disappearing would just draw even more attention.

Edward tries to listen to the new girl but gets nothing. He turns to check and all he can see is the brown-void eyes of Bella.

There’s also a bit in there where Edward wonders if Bella is still sitting there because she must be since Jessica is still talking. He turns and sees Bella still sitting there because of course she is, because Jessica is still talking to her. You see, Bella was still there and Edward suspected as much as Jessica was still talking to her because she was still sitting there.

He gets another hard-on as Bella blushes. He comments that she “looked surprised” as she “unknowingly absorbed the signs of subtle differences between her kind and mine.”

Bitch, you don’t know that. You can’t read her fucking thoughts. You’re just assuming this bullshit. This is some of what I remember from skimming the first Midnight Sun. You just make up shit about her personality to suit what you want! Reality is completely optional.

And we get this:

[...] as she listened to Jessica’s tale; and something more… Fascination? It wouldn’t be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey.

You know, the hyper attractiveness that turns people away because of how odd-looking they are but also draws people to them while also making people avoid them because they’re so inhuman.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd because of the depth to them—I could hear only silence from the place she was sitting. Just… silence.

Yes, because she’s the void personified.

Try and keep up.

Edward decides that he’s just not trying hard enough and stops blocking out all the teenager chatter – you know, the chatter he constantly listens to to ensure the safety of his family? That chatter.

Also, shout out to Ashley Dowling for obviously having a crush on Bella.

Angela Weber is the only one not thinking about Bella. I’m sure Meyer’s just trying to show how ‘unusually kind’ she is but... acting like a completely normal person doesn’t really qualify as being ‘unusually kind’.

Then Meyer, again, tries too hard to make Jessica unlikable by having her mentally calling Bella an idiot for asking about Edward Cullen. But since Bella is an idiot...

We get the infamous “He’s gorgeous, obviously.” line even though all of student body finds the Cullens odd-looking and want nothing to do with them.

And Edward gets this strong impulse to protect Bella from Jessica’s nefarious plots to... get mildly more popular for the short time people care that there’s a new student at school. He describes how fragile Bella looks and how translucent her skin is...

Then we get this little gem where Meyer, apparently, forgot Edward can’t read Bella’s mind while describing things he’d only know if he could read her mind.

It was unbelievably frustrating! I could easily see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment.

This is a one-way street, Meyer. Edward has to stay his ass in his own lane.

Edward informs us that, despite not being able to hear Bella’s thoughts, he’s not going to let himself get too interest in them just because they’re hidden from him... then immediately says he’s going to find out what she thinks no matter what it takes. No matter how petty, trivial, self-absorbed, whiny, and shallow they are! He will find out!

Emmett interrupts Edward’s obliviousness to his own faults and asks if Bella is afraid of them yet.

“They sit by themselves, never talk to anyone, and stare at the wall.” Absolutely terrifying.

Lunch is over and the Cullens to go their classes. Edward is an asshole prepared to be bored because he’s so much smarter than the biology teacher.

He also tells us the reason he has a table to himself is because everyone is avoiding him and they were too stupid to know why. Yes, that is the word he uses.

Such a Prince Charming, isn’t he?

Again, Edward laments his inability to sleep when Angela leads Bella into class! Then Edward remembers he was totally thinking about Bella just now and not wishing he was asleep!

Also, Angela? Shut up.

The Void comes in and Edward still can’t hear her and, in one of the few moments I like, he worries that he’s losing his gift. Don’t worry, nothing comes out of that thought.

Edward notes that the only available seat is beside him so he clears a bit of room for her, feeling sorry that she’s doomed to spend so much time next to his hideousness. BUT THEN!

Bella Swan walked into the flow of heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment.

Now comes a page long description of Edward losing his shit. He tells us, multiple times, how much he wants to eat her, how he’ll have to get rid of the witnesses, blah blah blah. It’s basically the same paragraph repeated a few times... But you know what? It’s better than the whiny shit we’ve been getting and it’s nice to actually see the ‘good’ vampires struggle in a not completely idiotic way... so I ain’t that mad at it.

I was actually enjoying it a bit until Meyer stuck her dumb in my chocolate by having Edward rip a bit of wood off the desk. Like no one would have heard that. Or wonder why there’s a pile of sawdust under Edward’s desk.

Edward... I know that you’re far older than anyone in that room but... calling people children is just fucking creepy. Stop.

He calculates the best way to slurp Bella up and kill witnesses in the most efficient way (interrupted occasionally by an eye-roll worthy melodramatic thought about murdering innocents). I would like this if it wasn’t such a stark reminder of how Edward doesn’t actually give two fucks about humans – he just doesn’t want to disappoint his Not-Dad... who, from what we’ve seen in the guide (shudder) doesn’t really seem to care either as long as he’s not the one doing the murdering. They don’t kill people not because they care or want to protect them but because Dad said not to.

Bella sits down beside him (And he’s absolutely sure she’s terrified of him though she’s shown no sign of that and HE CAN’T READ HER THOUGHTS.)

Anyway, he whines that now he has to kill her for existing.

This is another little plothole that bothers me: he doesn’t have to stay in the classroom. He can ask to be excused, say he’s feeling sick or he has to use the bathroom. Yeah, it would draw a few moments of attention but, you know, IT’S BETTER THAN PLOTTING THE MURDER OF THIRTY PEOPLE.

Meyer decides to call me out on that thought and claims:

Every life in this room was in danger while she and I were in it together. I should run. I wanted to run, to get away from the heat of her next to me, and the punishing pain of the burning, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that if I unlocked my muscles to move, even just to stand, I wouldn’t lash out and commit the slaughter I’d already planned.

Fuck you, he only needs to resist for the half-a-dozen seconds it’d take to get out of the room. But no, he’d rather try and resist for an hour instead.

He, again, talks about Bella’s skin and calls it ‘See-through’.

Sexy

Edward’s becomes increasingly paranoid that Bella’s ‘trying to hide her secrets from him’.

Chillax, Eddie. She ain’t that deep.

He changes tactics. He’ll try to get her alone and his plan for this is flawless!

If he asks to walk her to her next class, she has to be polite and say yes! Even though he’s certain she’s terrified of him (because he completely fails at reading human reactions if he can’t read their minds), she’ll have to do the polite thing! Because reasons!

While he doesn’t realize how stupid that is, he does notice that everyone with an interest in ladies is already obsessing over Ms. Swan so people will probably notice him leading her away like the serial killer he is.

So he plots to wait until she gets home to murder her.

And you guys, he just hates her so much! I mean, he hates himself but he hates her for making him hate himself but also her because she exists but also himself but also her but also himself...

And apparently that was his entire thought process for the next hour because class is suddenly over!

Edward runs out of the room – you know, the thing he said he couldn’t do before because even just moving might prompt him to murder everything – and mopes in his car where he realizes that ‘Wait... I don’t have to do the thing’.

He wonders why Alice didn’t break their cover and draw attention to themselves by barging into Edward’s class to help him get rid of either his murder-boner or the bodies caused by his murder-boner. He decides that she’s focusing on making sure Jasper doesn’t get a murder-boner and she’s concentrating ‘vary’ hard on that.

(Is pointing out typos a bit too petty? Maybe but I did it.)

And Edward feels a new burn coursing through his body! The burn of SHAME!

(I'm glad I got to use this Gif so early on!)

I should say that, through out all of this, Edward’s been going on about his little monster (not that one) growling around his head but all I can imagine are the critters from Critters Attack:

He decides to just avoid Bella as much as possible while being in the same building as her and goes to try and change his classes halfway through the semester.

He startles Mrs. Cope by being so vampirey, though humans are too stupid to notice that, because he came in quietly while she wasn’t paying attention. Her panties are immediately soaked at the sight of teenage boy bod (ew) and asks how she could help him. Eddie lays it on thick because... I don’t know. I’m pretty sure she’s not in charge of the classes, so there’s no reason for him to make her flood the office like this...

Even he’s uncomfortable but he still does it. Gross.

Also, statistically, women prefer men close to their own age or slightly older, so...

We get a whole paragraph of Mrs. Cope thinking of how smart and perfect the Cullens are – actually thinking the line ‘Perfect Cullen’.

When she says that he can’t change or drop the class, he tries to stare her into submission, lamenting that his eyes aren’t gold but the terrifying black instead.

Uh... dark dark brown, almost black eyes are pretty common and can be very alluring. Have you forgotten Ben Barnes exists?! Here, I'll remind you:

I’d be more freaked out by the gold.

Bella, of course, interrupts this awkward seduction and sends Edward running with his tail between his legs. He passes by some random guy in the parking lot and, since Edward is so all important, the guy wonders where Edward came from and, instead of deciding he must not have noticed him before (Like a normal person not in a SMeyer book would do) he decides his imagination is getting the better of him.

Edward makes it to the Volvo where the others are waiting. He takes off like a bat out of hell (lawl) and in a moment of stupid where Meyer, once again, forgets how her characters's powers work:

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

“You’re leaving?” she whispered.

You see... Alice’s visions are based on people’s decisions... Edward didn’t know he was leaving until he saw that Alice saw he was leaving... which makes no sense in the context of what we’ve been given.

And so, after a moment of Edward thinking about killing Bella, he decides to flee the entire country.

And that’s the end of chapter one! It took me way longer than I expected and I used 74 tabs... This is going to be an experience and a half...

Until next time, I'm out!

#Book Snark #Midnight Sun #Twilight

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pekoh · 4 years

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tag game: 50 Qs

i was tagged by adriana @joe-nicky !! ty <3

what is the color of your hairbrush? i use a wooden wide toothed comb! no brushes in this house

name a food you never eat: uhh idk lime jell-o?

are you typically too warm or too cold? cold i guess?

what were you doing 45 mins ago? moving stuff around my living room to prep for my sister moving back in

what’s your favorite candy bar? twix?

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i went to ONE jays game probably 15 years ago jsbxbdjdbff

what is the last thing you said out loud? “what, is it your bong?”

what is your favorite ice cream? black cherry!

what was the last thing you had to drink? ice water

do you like your wallet? it’s fine! it’s red and black and has a rooster on it and smelled like coffee at the start bc it’s made out of a coffee back

what is the last thing you ate? blueberry buttermilk pancakes!!

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no

what’s the last sporting event you watched? vancouver 2010 winter olympics canada vs usa hockey final

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? reg salt and butter BUT i also make a mean parm + herbed butter popcorn

who is the last person you sent a text message to? gf!!

ever been camping? we went group camping a lot when i was a kid, but the last time i went “camping” was for a music festival djxbdhfkxnd

do you take vitamins? i’m. SO bad at taking vitamins so no

do you regularly attend a place of worship? no and i’ve only been to services twice in my life

do you have a tan? no! usually i get slightly less pale in the summer but it’s covid so i’ve barely left the house

do you prefer Chinese or pizza? to quote a much younger me playing would you rather on the way home from camping “straight no.” (this question is mean)

do you drink your soda through a straw? YA there’s just. something about pop through a straw

what color socks do you usually wear? green and brown maybe?

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i’m 22 and from the city i don’t drive

what terrifies you? being Caught:tm: in general. no i won’t elaborate

look to your left, what do you see? cat and back of decorative gourds

what chore do you hate most? All Chores

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? austalians dont @ me but “she’s a sheila” sorry

what’s your favorite soda? lemon? pop is so sweet tho so i drink soda water w lemon juice OR sprite if it’s Pop

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? a bitch doesn’t drive!! i never got my license!!

what’s your favorite number? 3? in middle school i started vibing with 284 though and i still use that for stuff sometimes

who’s the last person you talked to? sister

favorite cut of beef? who?? cares??

last song you listened to? blood under the bridge by frightened rabbit

last book you read? the last book i completed was day 21 by kass morgan on audiobook djxbxvxjc

favorite day of the week? y’all pre covid i worked retail days of the week have made little difference to me for the past five years

can you say the alphabet backwards? no i’m normal

how do you like your coffee? homo milk with honey!!

favorite pair of shoes? for walkin it’s my brown blundstones for general Being In Shoes it’s my extra cushy birks

time you normally get up? between 8-10 am?

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunset!

how many blankets on your bed? one except on extra cold nights in winter there’s two+ because i hate turning on the heater

describe your kitchen plates. they’re white corelle and some of them have blue flowers around the edges and some have brown

describe your kitchen at the moment. there are some dishes on the counter but it’s tidyish

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? magners/bulmers cider but if i’m at a bar i get a gin and tonic with lemon

do you play cards? no BUT i loved playing spit as a kid and it would get VERY heated

what color is your car? these questions were either written by an american or someone who lives outside of a city

can you change a tire? NO

your favorite state? i’m canadian and have only been to Not Ontario to go to montreal but!! i’d like to go to the maritime provinces!!

favorite job you’ve had? i’ve only had one job and worked there for six years but i really liked when i doing custom framing!!

Tagging: @percivlgraves @nicolorenaldigenovia @blood-suits-and-tears @kingyusuf if y’all want!!

#bo’s corner

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antecedentlypod · 4 years

Text

EPISODE 3 TRANSCRIPT

-opening music-

LORRIE

Alright- [soft movement sounds] recording time. Reeecording time. One, two, three. [flip through the book, door opens]

Ah- fuck-

FISH

Oh! Shit- sorry- were you in the middle of something? Uh...sorry. I made lunch. Bahn mi! Y’know, the one I begged my brother for the recipe of? Uh- do you want some? I mean, I can’t guarantee it’s gonna be great ‘cause...it’s me...but it is getting cold! So...

LORRIE

I was just about to start recording, but lunch sounds...awesome, actually! But before we go, do you want to introduce yourself to the mic? I decided I wanted to keep the extra recordings and stuff, just for… me, I guess? Like- kinda like a journal. [brief pause]

My therapist did recommend I start journaling, but writing out my thoughts is hard as fuck. Talking into a microphone is much easier.

FISH

Oh. Okay, so just like...lamer scrapbooking- Yeah! Yeah, I guess. [taps the mic] uh. Check check? ...Right, okay. So, my name is Fish. Just- just Fish. I picked it out myself, actually, ‘cus i really like fish? Y’know? Uh, stonefish specifically but...I think sharks are really cool- are sharks fish? Anyway! [drifting off] I like she/her or they/them pronouns...um...that’s about it. Anyway, I’m here to make sure that Mr. Skeptic over here isn’t going haywire, given all the bullshit I’ve been hearing recently.

LORRIE

[soft laugh] That’s...enough, that’s good. Maybe I should do one of those myself. [pause, deep breath] Okay, uh. Hi, I’m Lorrie. I also picked that name out, sounds like a bird name. There is a bird named Lorrie, but it’s spelled differently. And it’s really colorful, which is the opposite of me! Um, I mainly use he/him or it/its pronouns, they/them is okay sometimes, but it’s best to stay away from it? And I’m not going haywire! Things are just… a little bit weird. It’s probably just hallucinations, it’s nothing.

FISH

A little bit? With all- [sigh, in a sarcastic tone] Okay, fine. Reaaaal convincing. Yeah! Believe that, 100%. ‘Kay, anyway... [laughter]

LORRIE

[sigh] Listen- just. Just shut the fuck up. [more laughter] I’m excited for lunch, though, I don’t remember the last time I ate, actually-

FISH

That’s...not ideal, but kind of the point. So...oh! Well, hopefully you ate before getting that tattoo, did uh- it looks...new. When did you…? [sigh] Okay. What’s with the eyes?

LORRIE

I think they’re cool. I got the tattoo a couple days ago, I’m pretty sure I got something to eat before it? Not a big deal.

FISH

[pause, dumbfounded and concerned] A couple days? Okay, holy shit, Lor. Let’s go get something to eat, okay? Lunch is getting cold, so.

LORRIE

Y-Yeah, that sounds good. Let me ju-just- [muffled movement, recording stops]

LORRIE

Aaaand we’re back. Lunch has been eaten, I feel- a lot better, honestly, and I think it’s a good time to record? [papers rustling] Um...where…? [collects himself] Uh, Fish left for work a little bit ago, which means the only idiot in the house with me is my dog! I’ll be able to work now, I think. Even if reading it makes me feel all- fuckin’ weird. It’s not a- not a great feeling. Not a great feeling at all. Fuck. Okay. Um. Take one of Rumpels-

[cut]

[weary] Take...five? I think? Of Rumpelstiltskin.

[cut]

Take nine of Rumplestiltskin. Read by Lorrie Adams.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN

Once upon a time, there was a miller who was poor, but he had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he was talking with the king one time, and to make himself seem important he said to the king: "I have a daughter who can spin straw into gold."

"That's an art that pleases me;” the king replied, “if your daughter is as talented as you say, bring her to my castle tomorrow and I will put her to the test."

When the maiden was brought to him he led her into a room that was filled with straw. There he gave her a spinning-wheel and a spindle and said: "Now get to work, if you don’t spin straw into gold by morning, then you must die." Then he locked the room himself, and she remained inside all alone.

The miller's poor daughter sat there feeling close to her wit’s end, for she knew nothing of spinning straw into gold, and her fear grew greater and greater. When she began to weep, the door suddenly opened and a little man entered, saying: "Good evening, Mistress Miller, why are you weeping so?"

“Oh,” answered the maiden, "I'm supposed to spin straw into gold, and I don't know how."

The little man then said: "What will you give me if I spin it for you?"

"My necklace," the maiden said. The little man took the necklace and sat down at the wheel, and whizz, whizz, whizz, three times round the spool was full. Then he put on another one, and whizz, whizz, whizz, the second one was full; and so it went on until morning, until all the straw was spun and all the spools were filled with gold. The king appeared right at the sunrise and when he saw the gold he was surprised and pleased, but his heart grew even greedier. He locked the miller’s daughter in another room, one that was even larger than the first, and he ordered her to spin all the straw into gold if she valued her life.

The maiden did not know what to do and began to weep; then once again the door opened and the little man appeared and said: "What will you give me if I spin the straw into gold for you?"

"The ring from my finger," answered the maiden. The little man took the ring, began to work away at the wheel again, and by morning he had spun all the straw into shining gold. The king was extremely pleased by the sight; but his lust for gold was still not satisfied. So he had the miller's daughter brought into an even larger room, and said to her: "You must have all this spun to gold tonight, but if you succeed, you shall become my wife." To himself he thought: Even though she’s just a miller's daughter, I’ll never find a richer woman anywhere in the world.

When the maiden was alone the little man came again for the third time and asked: "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you once more?"

"I have nothing left to give," answered the maiden.

"Then promise me your first child when you become queen."

"Who knows whether it will ever come to that?" thought the miller's daughter, and since she knew no other way out of her predicament, she promised the little man what he had demanded, and in return the little man spun the straw into gold once again. When the king came in the morning and found everything he had wished, he married her, and the miller's daughter became a queen.

After a year she gave birth to a beautiful child, and the little man had disappeared from her mind. But now he suddenly appeared in her room and said: "Now give me what you promised." The queen was horrified, and offered the little man all the treasures of the kingdom if he would let her keep her child. But the little man replied: "No, something living is more important to me than all the treasures in the world." Then the queen began to grieve and weep so much that the little man felt sorry for her. "I'll give you three days time," he said, "if you guess my name by the third day, you shall keep your child."

The queen spent the entire night trying to recall all the names she had ever heard. She also sent a messenger out into the country to inquire high and low names there were. On the following day when the little man appeared, she began with Kaspar, Melchior, Balzar, and listed all the names she knew, one after the other, but to all of them the little man said: "That's not my name." The second day she had her servants ask around in the neighboring area which names people used, and she came up with the most unusual and strangest names when the little man appeared. "Is your name Ribs of Beef? Or Muttonchops? Or Laced Leg?" But he always replied: “That’s not my name.” On the third day the messenger returned and reported, "I couldn't find a single new name, but as I was climbing a high mountain at the edge of the forest, where the fox and the hare say goodnight to each other, I saw a small cottage, and in front of the cottage was a fire, and around the fire danced a ridiculous little man who was hopping on one leg and screeching:

“Today I'll brew, tomorrow I'll bake,

Soon I'll have the queen's namesake;

Oh, how hard it is to play my game,

For Rumpelstiltskin is my name."

And you can imagine how happy the queen was when she heard the name. As soon as the little man entered and asked: “What’s my name, your highness?”

She responded first by guessing: "Is your name Cunce?" "No." "Is your name Heinz?" "No." "Can your name be...Rumpelstiltskin?"

"The devil told you! the devil told you!" the little man screamed, and he stamped so ferociously with his right foot that his leg went deep into the ground up to his waist. Then he grabbed the other foot angrily with both hands and ripped himself in two.

LORRIE

[yawn] There’s another number for me to read. [stuttering] Another story. I didn’t- say this in my personal introduction, but I’m [trying to snap himself out of it. literally] working for like, something akin to an audiobook company? These are my- story recordings. Not perfect, by any means, but they’re alright enough, and not really ever my final takes. Um. I like this job. Fully remote, surprisingly good pay for it being paid by commission mostly- I don’t know...why people would want these stories read out, but that’s beside the point. I make enough to get a pretty nice apartment, for me and Fish. They sent me this collection of stories to read from, it’s in this [stuttering and snapping again] big book- this big paperback book, um, and they...they- I get emails with the story numbers that they want me to read? Because they’re all numbered in this book. And the stories are never more than a couple pages at a time, which...is kinda weird because the recordings end up being pretty short that way? I don’t know if they want...more from me for it, but that’s also beside the point.

Anyways. Take 1 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Ada-

[very tired] Take 3 of Briar Ro-

Ppppbbbt. [hyping himself up] Okay. Okay, you can do this, Lorrie. It’s not that hard, you’re just talking into a fucking microphone. Okay. Okay. Hm. [drinks something. water..?] Take 13 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Adams.

BRIAR ROSE

In times of old there lived a king and queen, and every day they said, "Oh, if only we had a child!" yet they never had one.

Then one day, as the queen went out bathing, a frog happened to crawl ashore and say to her: “Your wish shall be fulfilled. Before the year is out, you shall give birth to a daughter.”

The frog’s prediction came true, and the queen gave birth to a girl who was so beautiful that the king was overjoyed and decided to hold a great feast. Not only did he invite his relatives, friends, and acquaintances, but also the wise women in the hope that they would be generous and kind to his daughter. There were thirteen wise women in his kingdom, but he only had twelve golden plates from which they could eat. Therefore, one of them had to remain home. The feast was celebrated with tremendous splendor, and when it drew to a close, the wise women bestowed their miraculous gifts upon the child. One gave her virtue, another beauty, the third wealth, and so on until they had given her nearly everything one could possibly wish for in the world. When eleven of them had offered their gifts, the thirteenth suddenly entered the hall. She wanted to get revenge for not having been invited, and without greeting anyone or looking around, she cried out with a loud voice: “In her fifteenth year, the princess shall prick herself with a spindle and fall down dead.” That was all she said. Then she turned around and left the hall.

Everyone was horrified, but the twelfth wise woman stepped forward. She still had her wish to make, and although she could not undo the evil spell, she could nevertheless soften it. “The princess shall not die,” she said, “instead she shall fall into a deep sleep for one hundred years.”

Since the king wanted to guard his dear child against such a catastrophe, he issued an order that all the spindles in his kingdom were to be burned. Meanwhile, the gifts of the wise women fulfilled themselves in every way. The girl was so beautiful, polite, kind, and sensible, that whoever encountered her could not help but adore her. Now, on the day she turned fifteen it happened that the king and queen were not in the palace, so she wandered all over the place and explored as many rooms and chambers as she pleased. She eventually came to an old tower, climbed it’s narrow, winding staircase, and came to a small door. A rusty key was stuck in the lock, and when she turned it, the door sprang open and she saw an old woman in a little room sitting with a spindle and busily spinning flax.

“Good day, old granny!” said the princess, “What are you doing there?”

“I’m spinning,” said the old woman, and she nodded her head.

“What’s the thing that’s bobbing around in such a funny way?” Asked the maiden, and she took the spindle and wanted to spin too. But just as she touched the spindle, the magic spell began working and she pricked her finger with it. The very moment she felt the prick, she fell down on the bed that was standing there and was overcome by a deep sleep. This sleep soon spread throughout the entire palace. The king and queen had just returned home, and when they entered the hall they fell asleep, as did all the people in their court. They were followed by the horses in the stables, the dogs in the courtyard, the pigeons on the roof, and the flies on the wall. Even the fire flickering in the hearth became tired and fell asleep. The roast stopped sizzling, and the cook, who was just about to pull the kitchen boy’s hair because he had done something wrong, let him go and fell asleep. Finally, the wind died down so that not a single leaf stirred on the trees outside the castle. Soon, a briar hedge began to grow all around the castle, and it grew higher each year. Eventually, it surrounded and covered the entire castle, so that it was no longer visible. Not even the flag on the roof could be seen. Eventually the princess became known as “beautiful, sleeping Briar Rose,” and a tale about her began circulating throughout the country. From time to time, princes tried to break through and get to the castle. However, this was impossible, because the thorns clung together tightly as though they had hands, and the young men got stuck there. Indeed, they could not pry themselves loose and died miserable deaths.

After many, many years had gone by, a prince came to this country and heard an old man talking about a briar hedge. Supposedly, there was a castle standing behind the hedge and in the castle there was a remarkably beautiful princess named Briar Rose, who had been sleeping for a hundred years along with the king and queen and their entire court. The old man also knew from his grandfather that many princes had come and had tried to break through the briar hedge, but they had got stuck and died wretched deaths. “I am not afraid!” said the prince, “I intend to see the beautiful Briar Rose!”

The good old man tried his best to dissuade him, but the prince would not heed his word. Now the hundred years had just ended, and the day of which Briar Rose was to wake up again had arrived. When the prince approached the briar hedge he found nothing but little flowers that opened of their own accord and let him through, like a hedge. In the courtyard, he saw the horses and the spotted hunting dogs lying asleep. The pigeons were perched on the roof and had tucked their heads beneath their wings. When he entered the palace, the flies were asleep on the wall, the cook was still holding his hand as if he wanted to grab the kitchen boy, and the maid was sitting in front of the black chicken that she was about to pluck. As the prince continued walking, he saw the entire court lying asleep in the hall, with the king and queen beside the throne. Then he moved on, and everything was so quiet he could hear himself breathe.

Finally, he came to the tower and opened the door to the small room where Briar Rose slept. There she lay in her beauty, so marvelous that he could not take his eyes off of her. And then, he leaned over and gave her a kiss, and when his lips touched hers Briar Rose opened her eyes, woke up, and looked at him fondly. After that, they went downstairs together and the king and queen woke up along with the entire court and they all looked at each other in amazement. Soon, the horses in the courtyard stood up and shook themselves. The hunting dogs jumped around and wagged their tails, the pigeons on the roof lifted their heads from beneath their wings, looked up and flew off into the fields. The flies on the wall continued crawling, the fire in the kitchen flared up, flickered, and cooked the meat, the roast began to sizzle again, and the cook gave the kitchen boy such a box on the ear that he let out a cry while the maid finished plucking the chicken.

The wedding of the prince with Briar Rose was celebrated with great splendor, and lived happily to the end of their day.

LORRIE

[with a bad taste in his mouth] Reaaaally can’t say I’m a big fan of the whole, like...lack of consent thing? Like, who just kisses some sleeping 115 year old? Like jesus fuck, get some manners! Like, why didn’t the prince just...try shaking her? Why did he just immediately kiss her- what the FUCK-

Anyways, I couldn’t stop yawning during that recording, if that says anything about my thoughts on it. I hope I didn’t put you to sleep, at least. Whoever ends up listening to this. I think I need to go to bed. Goodnight, end recording.

#antecedently #antecedentlypod #antecedently podcast #antecedently transcripts

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captain-aralias · 5 years

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End of Year in Fandom meme

i know on tumblr the tradition is to post a list and then wait for people to ask you before just telling them all your thoughts... but i come from livejournal where we answer all the questions.

here are my thoughts about the things that i really liked in 2019.

if no one reads it, that’s cool! if you do read it - that’s cool too. please talk to me about any of these things. i have strong feelings about them.

Your main fandom this year?

this was, of course, 'carry on'. now there are two books, it might be time to start trying to call the fandom 'the simon snow books', but i don't think it's going to stick.

it's a nice fandom. not overwhelmingly big, but active enough that it's engaging. lots of people's first fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

movies is where i'm weakest now music has been removed from the list because i'm been watching long-running TV instead of 2-hour things, mostly.

i really liked the netflix christmas movie 'klaus' - but i would say, my favourite movie was 'steven universe - the movie' which is notable in that it's a movie of a TV show, but for reals. it was SO GOOD. i thought the structure worked really well as a movie, and the fact that it was longer than 10 minutes meant we got lots of proper-length songs :D

Your favourite book read this year?

ok! this is easier. i read lots of great books this year, mostly pratchett. many of which i think i've read before, but my memory is bad and it was a long time ago. there were only a few that i really really felt like i'd read before, like 'night watch' and 'going postal - which are still my favourite-favourites.

the best ones i either hadn't read before at all or remembered very little of were 'wee free men' and the 'amazing maurice'. also, all the middle vimes books - like, had i read 'the fifth elephant' before? i don't know. but it rocked.

also this year - there was a new 'invisible library' book (genieve cogman) which was about a heist (i love it!), two new 'murder most unladylike' (robin stevens), and right at the beginning of the year, 'the wicked king' (book 2 of 'the folk of the air' by holly black - who has never fully worked for me until this series. now it's amazing'.

'wayward son' was my most anticipated book, but it wasn't my favourite of the year even tough i have three copies of it, plus the audiobook, plus the kindle book. i feel for it in a different way than i feel for other books as it is my fandom and it's special to me in a way none of the other books are. it's also not bad, like some anticipated things have been - it just wasn't exactly what i wanted.

but, you know - bring on 'any way the wind blows'. it's set at watford. i am down for that.

Your favourite tv show of the year?

TOO MUCH CHOICE, ARGH.

2019 was, for me, the year of (animated) television shows that blew my mind with how much i loved them. if i had to choose one... i'd have to go for 'ladybug' but it's a tough call.

i love 'ladybug', even though it's a monster of the week show for kids that is written in another language and dubbed. somehow it transcends this and is SO GOOD and fun.

closely followed by:

steven universe (of course)

mob psycho 100. (how the hell did it get so good so fast? the first episode was like, eh, i guess this fine, and then it was about FRIENDSHIP, and growing up, and compassion.)

my hero academia (a late entry, i literally watched it last week. SO GOOD OMG)

yuri on ice!!!

haiyku!!

i also really enjoyed/am enjoying 'she-ra' and i'm enjoying 'the dragon prince'.

did we watch anything that had real people in it? yes. (i also watched a lot of starkid musicals - which doesn't fit anywhere on the list). but it wasn't as good.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

see above.

all the anime and ladybug are all massive fandoms/massive megafandoms that i'd never heard of because i am an ignorant westerner (this is what tumblr is good for, to be fair to it - forcing you to interact with random stuff that people who share one of your interests are also interested in - i have found many things that i like from seeing gifs of them). i read some yuri fic but i didn't want it to suck me in, before i was read to leave 'carry on'... so i backed away. i haven't read any 'ladybug' fic for the same reason.

and i dont ship stuff in BNHA so what's the point? (except maybe all might/eraser head, but i think maybe that' because i like them both the most as characters and they've been in some scenes together. and are adults. and all might is really gay - not a good reason to write fic) (or is it?) (no - i've got lots of 'carry on' stuff to write......)

Your biggest fandom disappointment?

it feels like the answer should be 'wayward son' after what i wrote above, but i wasn't actually disappointed at all, if that makes sense. although i wanted to be filled with overwhelming love, i didn't expect it - it was more like i was desperate to read the book (particularly because loads of people got it early, but i didn't) and my head was just full of white noise for weeks during september. even things like the 'steven universe' movie coming out didn't stop my brain saying 'WHERE IS WAYWARD SON???'

and then when i got it was like - yeah, this is all right - not my favourite, but now i know what happens i can process it. what a relief.

ok! i know what my actual biggest disappointment was - i REALLY wanted to like the new 'his dark materials'. it looked great! it was long - which i thought would mean it would be good. i had lin manuel miranda in it!

but i didn't get past the first episode. it just had far too many random boring scenes, and james mcavoy was all wrong for asriel, and i just hated it.

Your tv boyfriend of the year?

HMMMM... as usual, i love too many. (erin is well aware of this terrible state of affairs - if there's a rubbish and yet strangely competent stringey man in something, she knows i will like them too much).

i probably feel closest to adrien agreste, even though reigen arataka (mob psycho) is exactly my type.

and let's not even talk about how beautiful viktor nikiforov is. it should not be allowed.

Your tv girlfriend of the year?

this one is easier (alas indeed - we watch television programmes about MEN). it's marinette dupain-cheng. she is so smart and kind!

also - the worst witch wasn't very good this year (so it didn't get on the list, see above), but hectate hardbroom is still great.

and, of course, i have always loved the doctor. is it right to put the doctor here? people have started using non-binary pronouns now. idk - i'm going to say she's a woman right now.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

eeeeer.........

renaissance faire sword fight in 'wayward son' maybe? (it was about 7am, i can't really remember but i think i was happy)

or something like - spoilers - the end of the most recent season of haikyu!! you'd think - surely the heroes will win, but what i've learned in anime is that sometimes... they don't. and so i was genuinely invested in whether or not they would get into the nationals. and THEY DID!!!!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

B7 - i definitely miss it more than doctor who, athough obviously i did go back for thirteen. (i liked the series - it was perfectly nice, and i was one of the people who didn't want a female doctor because the doctor's always been a rubbish man and i thought that was part of his thing. but now that there is a female doctor i'm much more like - shit, i wish i was the doctor, but i guess she's really good. the episodes themselves are just fine, though. it doesn't make me fannish)

i wrote a thing for 'blake's 7' because i was asked to by someone who is really lovely, and i met up with mrsunderhill from tumblr and we talked about fic stuff - and she told me that a lot of russian-speaking fandom followed me from doctor who to B7, which i did not know. (hello russian-speaking fans, if you are here).

but it was hard going - i realised i'd lost the knack, but also how great the show is. i probably won't read any more who fic unless it's by people i know, but i would still read B7.

just probably not anymore 1990s gen. i started selling the zines that i know i'm not interested in.

The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

i already said 'don't tempt me, frodo!'

i'll go looking once i'm fed up with 'carry on' and not before.

#my content #carry on

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alyseofwonderland · 5 years

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Alyse Reads The Goldfinch, Part 2

What follows is my best attempt at liveblogging. I had the books as an audiobook in hopes that I could keep it from taking even more of my life from me. This was perhaps a mistake. I think I broke Siri trying to make notes. The notes that are rambly are the ones I dictated.

I entirely blame @rollono for my suffering. But I am also aware that it seems to give her joy.

Every time I reference Tara, I am talking about @wellntruly who’s own live blog of the book was the only roadmap I had to follow in this waterlogged wasteland of a novel.

Part 1

I thought Tara was making up the Camel-hair coat bit but APPARENTLY NOT.

Architecture has that much to do with the city and or northern Europe, really? I mean, “whitewash” doesn't everybody do that?

Nina ( @proud-librarian ) is going to have a lot to say about their descriptions of the Netherlands and Amsterdam in this book. like oh my God!

Theo Deckard doesn't understand how thermostats work.

This isn't satire? I don't understand we're like three minutes in and it has to be satire. right. right?

Who the hell says my mother and I didn't like my father much? like what.... what is this? what am I reading? what is happening? what.... I don't understand.... okay maybe fine whatever

This feels like it should be... I don't know.... satire is the word I'm looking for again. I don't want to just repeat what Tara, said but Jesus. the start of the story is he is rich enough to have a Doorman but not rich enough to afford the fancy private school, and him and his friends break into vacation homes in the Hamptons. what is this? what is this? I just... just.... just write a Jane Austen or Lord Byron novel if that's what you want to do just do that. do that.

My audiobook app just turned itself off in the middle of a passage because it decided I didn't need to listen to Theo talk about whatever he was talking about.

Curse you, Donna Tartt, for also being in the "all things coconut smell like suntan lotion" club. I did not want to have this in common with you.

I am laughing so hard it turns silent into my steering wheel because the audiobook reader makes Tom Cable sound like a surfer dude from the 70s, and I. cannot. handle. that.

"I like to think of myself as a perceptive person" is basically the way that I know that Theo has about Harry Potter level skills of observation when it comes to the people around him.

Y'all this book would be so much better if Theo actually thought like a 13-year-old that he is supposed to be in the intro part. That would just be peak comedy, which is really what I'm looking for.

Audrey Decker and the Laura Moon from American gods are now the two people that I have ever known to call men "puppy" which I still find alarming, in both cases. Surprisingly they also both die, so I guess more things they have in common.

The longer this book goes on the more clear it is that I am not bougie enough for its contents. ( timestamp 30 minutes)

(GIF BY @rollono BY MY REQUEST FOR EVERY TIME THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL POOR)

I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to think that a 13-year-old would know this much about their parent's job and be able to ask questions. I'm trying to think of what my dad was doing when I was 13, and I mean I know where he worked, and I know who his boss was, but if you tried to ask me daily issues or me giving advice... oh my gosh. I just can't. nobody talks like this.

I’m making a face akin to Kermit the frog.

I threw up in my mouth a little at the description of Pippa walking past in the museum.

Did we just describe a 12-year-old girl's arms as marble? is that what just happened? did I just have to listen to that?

Theo has given me a lot of like “Golden State killer” vibes right now with his desire to poke around through all these people's homes and stuff. like this is clearly the Visalia ransacker's motivation in the 70s. I know too much about true crime, that's what's happening right now.

The true-crime serial killer alarms keep going off in my brain.

I know Tara already mentioned how ridiculous the Murphys bed story is but it really is incredibly ridiculous and breaks the tension of the entire scene that is occurring at the time (laughed uncontrollably to the point that Siri typed nonsense)

I get it, Donna, you know things. You do not have list every fire truck to prove it.

Let's take a child to a dinner at 3 am. Really Donna?

Why does Donna insist on giving me the text of signs around whats going on? Why did I just listen to the smoothie specials while an emotional scene is occurring?

Donna, did you just call Mrs. Barough a weasel? [afronted gasp]

OI! (me shouting when Donna says that Andy was weird for being lactose intolerant.)

Pukes in my mouth a little at the term 'high verbal'. I get it, Donna, you think you are smarter than all of us stop being a dick.

Donna Tartt would make it to r/iamverysmart in like a minute if she understood how the internet worked.

WHO TAUGHT HER ABOUT FMA?

Okay, so either Donna Tartt knows someone who lost a parent and basing this off them or like went through it herself because I am white-knuckling through the grief bits trying not to have my own trauma response to the situation. Or she wrote Theo with like the exact grief I had. Her incessant need to list things in a room is the only thing between me and a spiral of remembering my dad's death.

ANDY IS A RAY OF LIGHT AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FAMILY OR IN THIS BOOK!

Five whole hours before the first sight of Hobie. Like Jesus.

I miss Terry Pratchett.

Hobie thank you for making this book interesting again.

Hobie is now my main squeeze and I won't hear a word against him.

POE DIDN'T INVENT SCIENCE FICTION FUCKING MARY SHELLY DID. DONNA WHAT THE FUCK.

The Hobie part of the story just makes me more sure that a version of the movie should have been without the Baroughers (sp?) and only included Hobie and Pippa.

Any is a murderino. I love this baby boy.

Aw, I love Hobie so so much.

Donna if you call Andy annoying one more time you are gonna catch my hands. (She just referred to his voice as annoying twice in a conversation and I swear to god I will rip this character out of her snobbish clutches she doesn't deserve him.)

Theo on this we agree, I too enjoy Hobie.

Hobie is the only person who belongs in this novel and he's a god damn delight.

SEVEN HOURS AND THE PAINTING HAS COME UP AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LITERAL HOURS.

Theo straight up using Spanish to fuck over his father is just *chef's kiss.

I can see how much contempt Donna has for Xandra is longer and deeper than this book will ever be.

I am going to suplex Larry Decker I swear to god. (i have a very particular trigger to spouses bad-mouthing the dead one due to personal experience.)

Necco wafers are no one's favorite candy Donna. You can't just say shit like that and expect anyone to believe you.

I have just realized that Donna Tartt has never been to a public library. How do I know? Witchcraft books are never on the shelves. Ask any librarian. They are stolen pretty much the moment we buy them.

I am standing dead in the tea aisle at the store because Theo just thought it would be “gay” to tell the doormen he has known almost his whole life he is gonna miss them. (hours later I realize this is her backtracking in edits going "shit shit shit I have to add the repression in somewhere for those dumb readers that don't understand art" and I hate it more.)

Mrs. B is ready to physically fight Larry and I would pay real money to see it.

WHY DOES DONNA KNOW ABOUT DRAGON BALL Z?!? Step away from the things I love Donna I don't trust you near my media. (Also why she does reference it she clearly has NO concept of what DBZ hair would even look like to expect me to believe any child could achieve it.)

oh my god, Boris. I'm so happy to see you.

I am happy to report the audiobook narrator does not do an Australian accent for Boris. Thank the lord.

I knew I was going to love Boris but like a few minutes in I adore him.

It's interesting to me that Theo and Boris seem to have received similar amounts of attention/affection from non-parent adults, but while Theo finds it uncomfortable Boris soaks it in.

The Australian part of Boris's accent seems impossible.

*sobbing audibly into my keyboard* Popchyck

Boris you sweet like socialist.

Comrade Boris we need you in this election.

I'm sad he (Boris) doesn't get to go to college and like piss off every yuppie and hippie, and just make Philosophy 100 and Government 250 absolute hell for everyone.

Drunk Boris at Thanksgiving is a gift.

Me listening to this book before Boris: half paying attention, fucking around on my computer, doing chores. Me after Boris shows up: staring at the middle distance determined to listen to every fucking word because this prison sentence of a novel is finally interesting.

James: you said the author is a snob and you aren't enjoying the main character. Me: yeah James: then stop reading it. Me: No, then Donna and her Anna Wintour knock off hair cut will win. James, frowning and backing out of the room: k sweetie.

6:30 am is too early to hear Theo Decker describe his bed as "our bed"

I WAS RIGHT. Boris belongs in college making every American white kid absolutely furious in every Poli-sci.

Larry Decker calling Theo and Boris his "kids" made my heart skip a beat.

So the nurse notices they don't have vitamins and smell but doesn't call child services. I mean I know that I learned that school nurses are less likely to call CFS on white kids than they are on black kids but like god damn.

The sheer salt of Theo refusing to learn the name of Boris’s girlfriend is so hilarious.

Now *this* is gay.

The truth is Theo is ready to cut a bitch.

Fellas is it gay to do shots while your boyfriend talks about his girlfriend?

Theo trying to set up Boris with like a nice polite girl who won't fuck him is fucking hilarious. This poor baby gay.

Theo (and Donna cuz she writes him) have never heard of learning disabilities and I will legit throw down.

LARRY IS A SCORPIO IN CANON?! I thought that was something from the fan fics. omg Ally hates this.

No one wears white sport coats Donna stop trying to make it happen.

Boris totally knows what's going on with Larry and he's just trying to look out for Theo because he loves Theo but oh my gosh Boris why do you make me feel so many feelings!

Please, Donna, I am begging you to stop telling me what the light from the sun looks like at different times of the day. I just can't take it anymore. Every scene of Theo in Xandra's house does not need the qualifier of what type of sunlight he is seeing. Some times fine. But every time?

My entire stomach just dropped when I realized what Boris has done, and I'm just I'm so sad. this is not how I wanna start my commute to work today.

I have just had my first moments of being very proud of Donna's writing, because long long time ago, in the same chapter, she had the bit about how Xandra will say "apparently" when she's being bitchy with Theo and now in a conversation where Theo isn't paying attention to her she says "apparently" to Larry and I just had to stop and say this, this is the writing I'm looking for Donna. This is clever and interesting and I LIKED IT. Stop making lists and do more of this.

Friendship ended with Book Boris, Movie Boris is my best friend now.

I don't understand how the director and the screenwriter of the film could move who said those lines and then not make it gay. Like, commit to your choice.

My mom: You finish that book yet? Me, angrily: No. My mom slightly worried: do you like it? Me: unclear.

NEW CHAPTER!

Theo, I need you calm all the way down when you are looking at Pippa.

Love this lawyer. I want to be his friend.

God poor Pippa. All the shit she goes through and she still has to put up with Theo's weird obsession.

Theo, you slid right back into the serial killer habits in a second and I want you to stop it.

Oh god, I feel that in my soul. Like "no sir you have it wrong I look more like the parent I like best." (also I do look more like my dad. like way more like him)

I am begging someone to get Theo some kind of hobby or help or something so he stops acting like a victorian ghost.

I am gonna have to get the actual book so I can see what weird spelling is going on with the text messages. I just know its weird. The narrator does it in such a weird voice.

We spent so much time dealing with emotional issues and other whatnot that going back to the bit about the painting feels like a huge tonal shift in the book. I'm like staggering around confused.

Literally no one uses strawberry shampoo.

Love that Theo ‘s final plan is the one Andy purposed an eon ago.

Salty that Theo is getting the cool college experience that Boris would have crushed. I would have paid good money to watch him make the philosophy department cry.

[kermit in the car gif]

Yo! Theo struggling to deal with school is like exactly my semester after my dad died.

The adults attempting to force him into different living arrangements is so what we dealt with post my dad’s death.

Grisha! (Russians the only people I trust atm)

Tara was right, Andy's death comes off like a joke!

I gotta say, Crime Theo is my favorite Theo so far.

I don't know which serial killer Donna was channeling to write the parts about Theo being obsessed with Pippa, but it is just so intensely a serial killer vibe I cannot even begin to describe the look on my face; the feelings I'm having. I'm just like this man is going to kill someone. he's going to kill a lot of people. not only that it's going to be a lot of women because he doesn't view them as people. that's what I'm getting from this it's. Theo doesn't think women are people.

If Theo was on reddit he would be part of r/niceguys and r/iamverysmart.

If I have to listen to him drone on about his fantasies of Pippa for one more minute I will kill myself in the baking aisle of Aldis.

HES HOARDING HER HAIR?! HER UNWASHED CLOTHES?!? Please someone put him in jail.

[the sound of me throwing up in the frozen food section as Theo describes Kitsey]

Donna don’t try to act like you didn’t add that foreshadowing yourself about Andy. You crack me up you relentlessly snob.

How is Theo just The Worst all the time?

Theo freaking out because two gay guys know what’s up with him is just *chef’s kiss

Me having seen only the movie: Theo and Boris should get redemption and a romance run away. Me now: [ gif of “Ive had enough of this guy” from IASIP]

I mean I understand that John Crawley was a coward in so many of his directorial choices, but the fact that he didn't put the second meeting of Theo and this Lucius guy into a crowded weird restaurant where they're both getting hit by the waiters as they go past is just the weakest move you could've made. because this makes it so much funnier.

I'm with Hobie.

honestly this book should've just been 20 hours of art crime and like to shave off a good 10 hours of LISTS because that's what 10 hours is. give me 20 hours of art crime. I would love to watch each sale happen that would've been riveting to read but instead.... this.

Bish, you like those earrings or I will cut you.

Theo salty, while Kitsey picks out new china, is so fucking hilarious.

him just like "why are we buying new plates when my job is literally to find plates that were made by craftsmen?!?!” but being too fucking repressed in his bullshit to say anything, so he just making some poor sales lady suffer.

my friend Ally: “Theo’s repression makes everyone suffer is a good summary of the book.”

Alternative version of this book that would have been 8 million times better: Theo gets into art crimes but is also a serial killer. We don't know the second bit but it begins to start dawning on us as women seem to disappear from his social circles and weird hints of thoughts about blood and rivers. Bonus points if it ends with him on the run from the law with his only vaguely criminal (by comparison to serial killer Theo) boyfriend. We are left to wonder if they will be gunned down in the chase or if perhaps there will be one more body to great the river.

Theo's textbook serial killer nonsense is only comparable to the sheer petty gay energy he gives off.

The power trip he gets from being like "hahaha yes I have bagged the ice princess who wanted nothing to do with me when we were kids" is just so gross and hilarious.

Theo realizing he is not the only sociopath in the room is just *chef's kiss.

Boris, did you really send some guy to just watch your ex?

Boris, I am begging you. You have made Grisha so upset.

Donna shying away from describing Boris comes off, if you don't know who we are talking about, as weird and slightly racist.

You have the internet Theo, you can look up when movies are going to start. You are not living on the moors.

HOW IS THIS BOOK NOT A SATIRE OF AMERICAN PYSCHO FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVE BONERS FOR ANTIQUES?!?

Boris returns. I have almost forgiven him for what he put me through.

Maybe "fuck you" can be our always.

*tries not to cry when I realize that Boris' friends have heard about Theo

bless Aneurin for everything he did for this reunion in the movie.

Why is Boris such a slut? Why will I forgive him for anything?

Is it gay to think about the guy you used to jack off as handsome when you meet each other again?

Genetics means those kids can't be Boris' unless his mother was blonde. (Theo kind of agrees.)

My soul has left my body at the concept of Boris having a wife and kids.

I'm not saying I endorse crime, I'm just saying a mobster front with a pun in the name is really on-brand for me.

Knowing what I Know. That Boris thinks Theo is gonna try to kill him when they go for the "surprise" just makes the whole thing so tragic and sad.

Boris and his dog REUNITED AT LAST. I'm not crying. I'm fine.

Interesting that the next story we hear is about Gyuri's dead "brother" right after Boris says that Theo is "blood of his heart, his brother". Like. I might not be the biggest history buff in the world but I know gay code when I see it.

I mean I knew this was gonna happen, but I can't help but feel personally betrayed by Boris once again.

Donna, stay away from stuff about computers. Your attempts to use them make me, a technology expert, cringe.

Boris like "you don't deserve this dog. I deserve this dog."

"Babe I get that you are a WASP at heart but I need you to fight with me like a Russian now." - Boris to his disaster husband

"Did I lie?" "YES" (me laughing so hard I'm practically crying)

why does no one in this book appear to exchange numbers or like airdrop contact info.

Does Donna think that people only have iPhones?

Ally who is CTRL F reading this book "'Every few hundred pages she's like 'oh yeah, it's modern times...they're texting and there's emojis!' Seriously, there was the mention of emoji's and my soul escaped my body for a minute because it had no tether to time or space" @aces-low

Off the top of my head, the name that Donna is not saying for this Horace to guy is Volkswagen.

Instead of being in the mob Boris should run an animal shelter.

Boris being Bitchy and jelly when Theo is talking to the German guy is just so cute. You two deserve each other with your weird shit.

If Donna wasn't a coward this book would have had Theo just getting eyeballs deep in art crime with Boris and his associates.

Adding a sin for making me listen to whatever that just was.

Things Donna forgot to list in "girl food": chicken wings, bread, rolls, other types of bread, garlic bread, a bit more bread, maybe cookies, eight more cookies, 20 more cookies, every type of chocolate humanly imaginable, jam, and barbecue ribs.

What do ankles have to do with being attractive?!?!?! this isn't the Victorian age!

(from Ally re this comment: “I'm now convinced that every day Donna sat down to write this book she spun a wheel with different years on it, and that's the year the book was set that day”)

I didn't mind Kitsey cheating on Theo, because he doesn't even really like her. Until just now, when I realized that Mrs. B knows about it and she's keeping it from Theo, and my heart broke into 1 trillion pieces. she is the closest thing he has to a mother and he realized that she kept it from him, and I should not be crying in my car before my special Valentine night dinner.

James just walked in during a part describing Pippa and goes "Men writing women, huh?" and I had to pause the book, turn to him and say "a woman wrote this" and he just looks at me like 0_0

Mrs. B clutching Theo's hand so he won't leave her alone with Smalltalk-old-man is honestly the cutest thing in this entire book.

Hobie being able to be spotted from a distance at all times! I have a friend who is 6'5" and we can find him in crowds so easily!

Perhaps the funniest moment of this book is Theo saying "if girls loved assholes then Pippa would love me". buddy I'm going to post this entire book to r/niceguys

I WANT MORE ART CRIME! Why did you make me listen to 15 hours of boring nonsense when we could have had ART CRIME!

I deeply enjoy Boris's commitment to being a dramatic goofball, falling to his knees just be annoying.

Movie Boris appears in a dramatic way. Book Boris is just like there and also shoving food in his face and walking out of the party still eating all the food he just put in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

Hobie just like "if you want to run off with your gay love i'll cover."

Theodor Decker you get back in there and make sure that thief stays away from Nicole Kidman she has been through enough already!

Theo, I know that you don't actually have brains for anything besides drugs, crimes, being weird about women, and your own ass, but you could at least listen when people speak.

Theo is such a mess. He doesn't belong in modern times. He deserves to be Jack the Ripper.

I know the narrator is saying croissant the "correct" way. But every single time it happens I'm so fucking confused because who just leans into a french accent that hard for a single word?

Theo offers an actual good idea that Boris is going to use later and they all look at him like he's crazy.

I know "my brand" is "man holding gun" but listening to Boris assemble a gun I'm like "oh goodness I need to lay down". *fans self

Theo suddenly "I have made a huge mistake"

It's interesting to me how reluctant Boris is to make Theo a larger part of the heist. Theo reads it as frustrating but I read it like a kind of care and affection. He doesn't want his friend mixed up in something he can't handle, despite the fact that he wants Theo close so he can get him the painting back.

I see now why the heist in the movie was so fucking confusing. You need the Horst stuff and like a bunch of other nonsense that does not translate well to screen unless you re-write all the connections, which John Crowley was not willing to do.

Really love the "women drop their mark the first time" bit.

me: Theo I swear to god stop being high and sick in your room and go get some actual clothes and medication or at least don't make me listen to so much of it

this book is not 30 hours long. its 15 hours of a book and 15 hours of Donna going "gotta get that word count up or people with think I'm weak". Please, Donna. I don't need to hear this one thing happen for so long. It adds nothing to the tone, the themes, the plot, or the ambiance. You are just writing words for words sake.

The first suicide note was so well crafted that I honestly want Theo to kill himself now. If he can manage to write the others pretty okay I will be happy with this ending.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that the ghost of a dead loved one appeared on Christmas Eve.

I'm sorry who doesn't respond to "didn't you get my text?" with "my phone was dead" instantly?

me listening to Theo throw a tantrum at Boris because neither of them is capable of explaining themselves and like speaking as normal humans do: "It would have been better if Theo died"

Why must I be forced to listen to Donna make these scenes longer because these people don't talk like people?

Thud by Terry Pratchett does a much much better job of asking the question "can we trust our hearts and be the person we want to be?" And it honestly gives a better answer. And has you know, clever writing.

I thought it was like Over. I did. I was like "oh this is it wrapping up" ONLY THERE IS 30 MORE MINUTES AND I WANT TO SCREAM!

Me certain the book is over: i mean maybe this is a good ending

Me seeing i still have 30 more minutes: this is the worst book ever

This book held me fucking captive for over a week and all it left me with was like a few good lines, burning hatred for the main character, and the desire to go into Donna's home and rearrange all her stuff.

also, I now hate antiques. out of spite.

don't read The Goldfinch. it's not worth it y’all.

#jabberwockytalkies #words #donna tartt i just wanna talk #the goldfinch #alyse watches stupid movies #theodore decker #boris pavlikovsky #larry decker #xandra #donna tartt #this book beat me up and took my money and my will to put up with men

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waveridden · 5 years

Text

FIC: i think we’re supposed to be

“I just want to email some people. On a computer.”

“Ephrim,” Highwater answers, “go to a library.”

Ephrim blinks. “Libraries have computers?”

(A modern AU meetcute. 1.8k, Ephrim/Throndir)

AUcember || read on ao3

Ephrim drums his fingers on the counter impatiently. “Come on, pick up, pick up-”

“That’s a rude way to say hello,” Highwater says, because she loves being mean to him. “Why are you calling me on the one day a week the salon is closed?”

“I came in to do some of the administrative stuff and the wi-fi isn’t working.”

There’s a long pause before Highwater says, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand why you’re calling me.”

Ephrim huffs out a breath. “What do I do?”

“Call our wi-fi provider?”

“It’s a three-hour wait on their customer service line.”

“Have you tried resetting the router?”

“I don’t know what that is,” Ephrim says, completely candid. Highwater understands that Ephrim is… limited, as far as practical life skills go. She teaches him things like how to put gas in his car, and in return she gets to be apprenticed to him at the salon. It’s a pretty good deal that they have going.

Highwater sighs. “I’m not going to teach you how to google things.”

“I can’t google without wi-fi-”

“You look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have an unlimited data plan.”

“ Highwater, ” Ephrim says painedly. “I just want to email some people. On a computer.”

“Ephrim,” Highwater answers, “go to a library.”

Ephrim blinks. “Libraries have computers?”

Highwater takes a deep breath, probably thinking about how Ephrim is too rich to have ever set foot in a library. “Okay,” she says. “There’s a library two blocks away from the salon. It’s a Tuesday, so they should be open. Just go in and say you want to get a library card and use the computer. Okay?”

“Okay,” Ephrim says, relieved. “Library card, got it.”

“And next time in your lessons about how to be a real boy, we’re going to go over things like libraries and Blockbusters.”

“Hasn’t Blockbuster been closed for a long time?”

“It’s the principle, Ephrim,” she says. He can hear her smiling. “You need to understand the theory behind rentals.”

“Mmmhm.” Ephrim pauses for a second. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Highwater answers. “But also, please let me have the rest of my day off in peace.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever you say.”

Ephrim nearly walks past the library when he finally gets there, not because it’s closer than he expected but because he doesn’t really know what a library is supposed to look like. He’s not sure what he was expecting, but it’s a nondescript brick building on a street corner. Not exactly something that inspires him to read.

Still, he heads inside, looking around curiously as he goes inside. Plenty of books, but also an alcove with computers. And magazines, and DVDs, and audiobooks. And a counter with a man behind it, who’s smiling at him.

Ephrim heads over to the probably-librarian. “Is this where I go to get a library card?”

“Yes it is,” the probably-librarian says cheerfully. He’s handsome, Ephrim notices, with round cheeks and green eyes. “Is this your first time here?”

“It is.”

“Cool.” He smiles warmly, and Ephrim feels something surprised and soft flutter in his chest. “I’m Throndir, I’m one of the librarians here.”

“Ephrim.” He extends his hand for Throndir to shake. “I work at the hair salon a couple blocks down, and our wi-fi stopped working, and I have some stuff that really needs to get done today.”

Throndir nods sympathetically. “I’m awful with computers,” he says, voice low and conspiratorial. Ephrim finds himself leaning in, although he’s not quite sure why. “I have to call my coworkers whenever people have questions more complicated than, like, how to open an internet browser.”

Ephrim snorts. “I’m a little more advanced than that, but not by much.”

“It still sounds like you’ve got a leg up on me.” Throndir smiles and slides his chair over to be in front of his own computer. Ephrim straightens up automatically. “I’ll get you in the system, though. And feel free to stop by whenever you’re having internet troubles. Or whenever you want, really.”

“I’d like that,” Ephrim says, surprised by how much he means it. “I’ll try and stop by again.”

Throndir grins at him, and Ephrim’s breath catches in his throat. “Then I’d better actually get you a library card, huh?”

“Maybe,” Ephrim allows, and lets himself grin back at Throndir.

The thing is-

The thing is, Ephrim actually does go back to the library. He wasn’t sure if he meant it, even as he was saying it, but it’s nice spending time around Throndir. He seems to understand that Ephrim has a lot of questions about most things that people know, but he never asks why or gives Ephrim too much shit about it. He’s both ready and willing to answer.

And Ephrim, for the first time since he was a kid, finds himself reading for pleasure every night. It’s a strange, pleasant habit to fall back into, made all the better by the fact that he can talk to Throndir about books.

“You’ve been reading a lot,” Highwater says one day. They’re both between clients, and Ephrim is flipping through a book that Throndir recommended. “What is that, anyway?”

He holds up the book to show her that back cover. “Nature photography from Alaska or something.” It’s not really Ephrim’s speed - he prefers actual writing over just pictures - but he’s giving it a shot anyways. Throndir had seemed so excited when Ephrim had asked for recommendations, and Ephrim wasn’t about to say no just because it wasn’t a book he would’ve picked out himself.

Besides, there’s something fun to flipping through the pictures and trying to think imagine Throndir reading this. He’d made a joke about Ephrim guessing his favorites, and Ephrim fully intends to go in with an actual list of guesses.

“Wow,” Highwater says. Ephrim glances up at her, and she tilts her head, genuinely curious. “So you’re… a regular library client?”

“It’s kind of nice,” Ephrim admits. “Being around people, having access to these things. The librarian says they have an agreement with a couple of ebook publishers, so he’s going to help set me up with an online library card.”

“What,” says Highwater.

“What?”

“You’re letting someone else give you real-person lessons?”

“He doesn’t make fun of me.” Ephrim pauses. “Except the time I said I was 25 when I learned to change a lightbulb.”

“You deserve to be made fun of for that,” Highwater says gravely. She only halfway means it, Ephrim can tell; she knows that he grew up in a weird situation that didn’t exactly allow him to develop normal life skills. “And you’re letting him recommend you books?”

“He’s a librarian, Highwater, it’s his job to recommend books.”

“Ooookay,” she says. “I’m just saying, if I recommended you a picture book you’d laugh at me, so you must like this guy a lot.”

Ephrim frowns. “Highwater, I like you just fine.”

“That’s not the point here, but thank you for that glowing commendation.”

“I don’t know what point you’re trying to make,” Ephrim says, but Highwater is already getting to her feet and walking away. “Are you going to tell me?”

“You’ll figure it out,” she calls over her shoulder.

Ephrim rolls his eyes and goes back to the book. Highwater is cryptic like that sometimes, but he’s pretty sure he can figure out what she means. Eventually.

The day that Ephrim goes to return the nature photography book, it’s the monthly kids’ story corner at the library. He discovers this when he walks in and sees Throndir, a dozen kids, and the biggest dog he’s ever seen in his fucking life, all sitting on the floor together.

Throndir is in the middle of reading a story that Ephrim has never heard before, something about a girl who can walk through mirrors. Ephrim means to start browsing the shelves, but he finds himself watching Throndir instead. The dog’s head is resting on Throndir’s lap, but the kids all keep reaching out to pet him. Throndir never pauses in his reading, his voice soothing and steady, but he smiles every time the kids reach out. It’s incredibly sweet, and Ephrim can’t look away.

And next thing he knows, the story is coming to an end and the kids start scattering to their various parents. Throndir glances up at Ephrim for the first time, and Ephrim’s heart starts racing, although he can’t possibly say why. “Hey,” he says.

“Hi,” Throndir says, making absolutely no move to get up from the floor. “You wanna come meet Kodiak?”

“You didn’t mention that Kodiak was a literal bear,” Ephrim says, but he goes to sit down in front of Throndir. Kodiak barks softly at him, and Ephrim grins. “Wow.”

“He’s a sweetheart,” Throndir says fondly. “The kids all love him.”

“The kids are right.” Ephrim reaches out and strokes a hand down Kodiak’s side. “How long have you had him?”

“Oh, since before I moved to the city.”

“You’re not from here?”

“No, I actually-” Throndir laughs and ducks his head. “I grew up in Alaska? Like, the smallest town possible. I didn’t set foot in a library until I was an adult, but I realized immediately that it was the kind of place I wanted to be forever. It took a long time, but I get to be a librarian now. It’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Ephrim murmurs. “You’re pretty good at that.”

Throndir smiles, pleased, and scratches Kodiak behind one ear. “Thanks, Ephrim.”

“So that book you recommended-”

“Which book?”

“The photography one.”

“You actually checked that one out?”

Ephrim nods as he continues carding his fingers through Kodiak’s fur. “I wanted to see what you saw in it.”

“Oh,” Throndir says. Ephrim glances over, and Throndir isn’t smiling, but he’s looking at Ephrim with such unguarded affection that he suddenly can’t breathe. “That’s… really sweet, you know that?”

Ephrim looks away, feeling his cheeks heat despite himself. “You seemed excited about it.”

“I get excited about a lot of things, I don’t expect people to check them all out and read them.”

“Well-” Ephrim pauses. What’s a good way to say that he wants to get to know Throndir better?

Slowly, he lifts his hand from Kodiak’s side up towards his head, where Throndir’s hand is still resting. He settles it so it’s not quite touching Throndir’s hand, but so it would be easy to reach out and touch him. “Do you… want to get coffee sometime?”

“Ephrim,” Throndir says warmly. Ephrim forces himself to make eye contact, and Throndir beams. “I absolutely would.”

“Good,” Ephrim says, and tangles their fingers together.

#ephrondir #ephrim x throndir #friends at the table #hieron #fatt fic #waveridden.fic #aucember19 #if you REALLY wanna get the vibe i was going for here listen to the song charlie by mallrat. it's a goodass song #i love a good old fashioned meetcute. should write more of them

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gffa · 5 years

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I've been reading your 'scattered sw thoughts' and found myself enjoying them a lot! I have question, and I hope it isn't too personal or anything - how do you find time to consume this much material weekly/monthly? I always give myself goals to reach when watching+reading things, and I rarely reach these goals. Do you have any advice for that?

Hi! I’ll preface this with that January has been far, far more productive for me than any other month, like I struggled to hit the 520 total mark for last year, meanwhile this month ALONE I’m already over 200. It’s a combination of the weather being bad enough that I can’t go out and hitting some shows that have really been working for me/I REALLY want to hit that TCW rewatch goal, so I’ve been making a point of it.For me, what helps is setting the goal, but also giving myself a bit of a fun percentages game to go along with it--I keep doing the math on “how many episodes of TCW do I have to watch before the new season premieres, if I want to finish this rewatch?” and it’s fun to watch that number go down, every time I manage to watch three episodes that day, instead of two.But the bigger way I get a lot packed in is that I’m usually doing double-duty. Am I working on a project that only requires half of my attention? Fire up Hoopla or Overdrive and listen to a SW audiobook in the background. I have travel time that’s going to take an hour’s worth? Read my SW book while on the way.It also helps to pick shows you’re not constantly pausing to go fiddle with this or that, pick up your phone to check your messages, etc. Like when I was watching Barry (okay, fair, I was also in the middle of shark week, so I was primed to just lay there and keep watching), I didn’t want to pick up the phone or go check tumblr at all, so that show just flew by.The thing that gets me motivated is to make the watching process as fun as it can be, figuring out what motivates me but doesn’t stress me, etc. I have a goal, I post about it on tumblr, I like seeing the numbers go up, but I decided at the onset that it was perfectly fine to not reach that goal. The goal wasn’t the point, only a fun end point. Instead, the point was that I was actually sitting down with these shows that I’d been needing just an extra nudge to get to. So, if I don’t watch anything on a given day, it’s no stress because I already decided, eh, the end goal isn’t the point. I wasn’t feeling it that day and the whole point is to get me to feel it more.So, my best advice is: Make it fun! Don’t care if you don’t reach the goal! Only do a mad dash to reach your end goal if you enjoy the satisfaction of it! Keep it very loose and easy, watch some “easy” things to bump your numbers up, if that helps you feel like you’ve got momentum. Make your system as friendly to yourself as you can. Try to get away from tumblr or your e-mail as much as you can if you’re having trouble watching a show, it’ll help keep you focused on what you’re watching. If you’re better at multi-tasking, put it on in the background while you do something else. (I got so much of The Raven Cycle done while cleaning, because I loaded it on my phone through Overdrive, put in my earbuds, and just got lost in it for an hour or two.) Pick things that really engross you, it’s much easier to find your groove that way. If you can, find things that you know you’ll want to talk about on your blog or with friends, because it helps to have a treat waiting for you at the end. (I have gotten through many a TCW episode that I would have put off for a bit, because, “I WANT TO WRITE A META ABOUT THIS SOMETIME, I NEED TO SEE HOW IT ENDS TO FINISH STRUCTURING THAT PIECE IN MY MIND.” etc.)But most of all: Make it fun, because if you’re frustrated at not getting enough done (and I HAVE BEEN THERE, so many times), it becomes a chore and few people want to do something that’s become a slog, rather than something that unwinds them.

#i should have a personal tag around here somewhere #Anonymous

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charmed-asylum · 5 years

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𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓼

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀꜱ, ᴘᴀʀᴛ 3

Summary: Finn Cox had everything boy would ever dream of a hot cheerleader girlfriend, loved by everyone, and caption of his hockey team. So why is since Camille Dawson step into his life he starts to have second thoughts about everything

FYI: You know what sucks being sick during the holidays. Anyway, we about to get into the good stuff. Sorry not sorry but you might go through an emotional roller coaster Lets CHAT Come get a tag or Whatnot. If you are new catch up :)

✨ The Partners: Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 ✨

𝓉𝒶𝑔𝑔𝑒𝒹: @weapinggwillowss @nottherightseason @strangerfictions @thewolfswriting @ hauntors

Nikkei was piss he could not be at her cheerleading practice. Something he just didn’t care for and had time to fake it.

“ Look I’m sorry Nic. Things have been crazy with my mom” Finn said walking beside her down the hallway. She was shuggle under his arms wrap like a ribbon around a pretty Christmas present. “How do I look, Finn Cox. WE are captains not being together. Is just unheard of. Me alone with no public PDA. You nowhere to be found. Sometimes I feel you don’t care about my needs. Just yours. You know that selfish “ Nikkei said with hatred. He remands quite just mumble yes dear. Camille was walking swiftly down the hallway carrying too many books coming in the opposite direction. “ See you in class Cam” Finn shout out to her. She smiled nodded yes and continue on her way almost tripping on her shoelace. Nikkei stop and yanked him close to a window. “Another thing. Don’t do that with her when I’m with you. Knowledge her like that. It’s belittling Finn. Better yet do not do it at all in school. People were talking and not good stuff. Stop it or else by 12 periods you be nothing” Nikkei said with her arms cross. He rolled his eyes. Said the girl who cheats on daily tripping on a friendship. “ Nikkei she nothing but a partner for a class you heard Kev. She a golden ticket so I’m playing nice. Freakin chill. You have nothing to worry about “ Finn said holding her tight. He started to kiss her lifting her against the glass window. Making sure all those worries were wrong.

He just missed the bell after a full-blown makeout session with Nikkei. “ Your late” the teacher said tapping at the desk. Finn sat in the back tried his best to pay attention but all he could think about was what Nikkei said. Camille was just a friend. Yeah, he thought about her a lot and stuff but was it more. Nah. He needs a break to talk it over with someone. Raising his hand he quickly rushes to the bathroom.

Camille sneaked into the boy's bathroom flustered at him. “ We gotta make up a schedule Finno. I was in class. Yeah, we were watching a movie -” she stopped and looked at him. “ We should probably not be in the boy's bathroom “she said looking around. He grabbed her hand and walk into a nearby empty classroom.

“ I just wanna tell you things might come around on something I said and it’s not true” Finn said. "Willy Wonka" Camille said standing by the bookshelf. He got closer and stood in front of her confused. “What does that mean” Finn said a bit irritated. Camille walk around him and walks towards the back of the classroom creating some space. “ Golden ticket. I’m not stupid. I was aware of what your intentions were. Nikkei probably acting like any girl would. I’m sure I add a few punches this week” Camille said moving her hair behind her ear and grinned. She looked up at him through her natural thick black lashes. “ How you know” Finn said growing close to her. She wiggles her shoulders a bit at the question. “ Isn’t that what you want to say... Is it your mom" Camille said holding onto his forearm. Finn looks down at her hand. It was like a gentle touch. She brushed her thumb against his bicep smoothing him. A touch he didn't want to let go. Still, he did not move it away. “ No. she fine. She has doctor appointments today. What should I do with Nikkei” Finn asked? Camille sighed. “She looks like a person that’s a big show me. You should take her out. Somewhere where she can get all dolled up but also a place you people go too. Alright, Cox" Camille said a bit chipper. “When did you become my bro, “ Finn said with a chuckle. Camille walk towards the door looks back towards him. “ Maybe your just my sista. Tonight take her out. I have your back with your parents” Camille said leaving. Finn nods and started to laugh. “ I already sent you a link. The private plane ride got a coupon and good to take pics “ Camille said poking her head inside before going.

Finn rushed back and made an excuse. While anyone wasn’t looking he put everything together and sent Nikkei a text to meet up after school. He waited for her by the gym entrance after practice. Nikkei walk out with her hair perfectly straight down with a middle part a white blouse with a big black bow and a short plaid skirt that went above her knees all in red pumps. Completely different from what she was wearing this morning. Then again making your friends give up their lockers to you can probably do that. He held on to a dozen on red roses. Nikkei took them and hand it to her friend. “ What the big surprise “ Nikkei asked. Finn grabs her hand and walks her to his car. “ It’s a surprise" Finn said excitedly. She said nothing just text on her phone. Finn looks over and tried to start a conversation with her. Nothing. Pulling out his phone he texts Camille for pointers.

Cam😇: Probably not txt the girl she had a problem 😛 w/ & say her makeup look hot makes me wanna kiss you lol

Finn clears his throat. “ You know Nic you're looking hella fine those lips so juicy I can’t wait to kiss them, “Finn said trying to sound cool. Nikkei look up from her phone and beamed. “Really because I been using this makeup that cost $200 the bare minimum. Where we going “ Nikkei asks eagerly. Finn tried not to sweat. “ Somewhere special for my lady” Finn said. He pulled into a runway he and parks by a plane. “ I want to show you the world so I decided to start with this. Private half-hour ride" Finn gesturing to the plane. Nikkei smile and took her phone out. “ Oh, my gosh those salty bitches gonna be so jealous “ Nikkei said recording what was happening. Finn rushes his hands through his hair. “ Probably talk too” Finn mumbled. She was paying him no mind the whole time live streaming and took selfies. Finn hated it. He just looks out the whole time wishing he was somewhere else.

Nikkei was thrilled and delighted after the ride. Happy and not talking crazy like before. She clings to him the whole ride home calling anyone who answers and brag.

He lends against the door waiting for Camille. It was crunch time two more weeks then presentations were starting. Yo, what up for BDay 🤢🍺Kevin text. He started to text back when Camille came walking down the hallway with her hair bouncing around one side to another.“ Smile" Camille said holding up her very old camera. Finn knocks it to the side and walks in with her. “ What up with the Father Time over here” Finn asked holding the camera. He went to take a picture of Camille till she stops him waving her hand to cover her face. “ Didn’t your parents tell you gotta warn a girl before taking a picture? “ Camille said muttering through her hands. Finn giggle. "Okay" he said laughing at her. Peaking through her fingers Camille looks at him,” How was yesterday “. Finn sat back in the seat and took pictures of random things. “ It was alright” Finn said. Camille let her hands down and look at him. She said nothing just look at him. She always knew. “ I enjoy it though. How do you find out about that place” Finn asks? “ My uncle took me when I first came here and no anything else you gotta wait until after we gets work done or buy the audiobook ” Camille said. “Alright ALRIGHT. Cam I was thinking we can get a few people tonight before the game and some today during class” Finn said pulling at his notebook. “ Ready when you are” Camille said getting up.

She was writing down some notes a curl drop down in front of her forehead. “ You owe me a game” Finn said lending against the desk. She stopped and chuckled to herself. “ Yeah. Been there done that. I’m good. Thanks “ Camille said. He looked at her then around holding his hands to scream. "HEY GUESS WHAT" Finn started to shout. Camille pulled at his arms down giggling. “ Okay. Okay. But we gotta get some shots so do good” Camille said getting up to leave. “ YES DEAR” Finn shout out. She turns around and puts her pinky up at him and walks away.

His mom and dad decided to come after finding out their new buddy was coming. It was an important game very important. One of those you win it really can mean something. Nikkei's ex-team was their biggest rival. He stood tall putting on his gear when she walks in baby blue jeans Bon Jovi vintage tour t-shirt and a big brown jacket camera swinging side to side. Flash “ You can’t be here. Dawson" coach said before she got to him. She peaks over his broad shoulders to look at Finn. Looking back down bashful, "I’m sorry coach Jackson. Thought it was the girl locker. While I’m here can I take a few pictures for the yearbook” He nods and point towards the opposite direction Finn was. He wanted to laugh he could only imagine her in the boy's locker room again.

“Alright but make it February girls get sappy for that love shit” Kevin said walking over. Throwing his jersey on his approached Finn. “ Man you got a piece of that attention” Kevin said pointing at where he just came from. Finn looked over once more. “ What action you talking about. Get your mind right” Finn said closing his locker. Kevin wave his hands and points towards where Camille was. “ Nothing. Bro. Look your partner over there taking pics of us. Said it can be a calendar good. Imagine tons of tens shut even fives under me in their beds. Touching themselves in their bedrooms holding a fucking teddy ” Kevin said laughing.

Finn got up and walk off. He was a bit conflicted. Yeah, she was a friend but a part of him didn’t get why she was talking to others. By the time he walked over no one but the team manager was there cleaning. “ Where the girl ” Finn asked. “ Cox. She left but hey I got a picture she said might be good for February “ he said. Finn kicked a ball and walk off. “ Say cheese buck a roo” Camille said sitting down by his locker. He sighs and walks pass towards his bag. She followed behind. “ What up with you talking to the guys" Finn asked throwing things into his bag. She took off her glass and look at him her big brown Bambi eyes sparkle against the tacky ceiling lights. “ Look at me. I had to make a reason why I am in the guy's locker room. I did get in trouble last time I bust in here. Do you want me to get in trouble? Finn” she said putting them back on. He stops throwing things in. STUPID “ Oh. Yeah, I knew that. So a calendar” Finn said. Lending against the locker beside his.” Yeah, I actually might make a calendar now. Kinda feel bad for lying. I can probably put it together by the final game if you win today. Oh, wait my uncle said good luck “ she said pulling at the camera straps blushing. He never saw he blush like that. Of course, she gets bashful but she always looks away or coughs in her oversize sleeves. Finn smiled and starts to say something. “ Cox Dawson. You gotta go” Coach said. Camille nodded and left. Finn watches as she left. Thanks, Cam Cam

He walked out with the rest of the team. This was it his home safe place. Something about playing made him excited thrill happy pump everything. He looks out to Nikkei with her friends. Then in the far center, Camille was sitting by his mom. Will on the other end next to his dad cheering out loud waving foam fingers. Both his dad and Will was wearing the team color paint on their face waving their beer in the air. Camille smiled was so bright that it was could be brighter than the sun. She waved at him and pointed so his mom can see him. He looked back at the ice and took a deep breath in, GAME TIME.

The sweat rushes down his face as he made the winning shot as the bell rings. Finn drops to the ground and screams out loud with excitement. The floor started to shake as everyone stomp and scream filled the whole arena. Tears flow down his cheeks mixing with the sweat and blood from a busted lip. Everyone jumped on top of him yelling. Flash He looked over to see Camille at the corner of his eye taking a picture of him with the team. His mom came over to her and talk to her for a second before walking back together where they came from. He slaps everyone hand and got lost in the win.

His parents waited for him by the parking lot. Waving signs rooting for their boy. Dad playfully patted his back and mess his hair. “Good game kid. Like how you listen to me about those shots you took and D” dad said rubbing his back. “ Yea dad” Finn responded looking around for Camille. Mom taps his side. “ Don’t worry she be coming soon. You ask her out yet “ mom said with a big smile. She liked Camille a lot. “ No. I got a girlfriend ma. Camillie just a friend “Finn said rolling his eyes. He spotted Will walking over on the phone. No Camille. “ Yo Will over here” Finn said waving him to come over. Will wave okay and finish his call. “Any plans with the team “ mom asked holding dad's hands. “ Coach invited the team for pizza so we doing that I guess" Finn said looking around for Camille. Where was she at she was fine a minute ago.

Will wave at everyone and walk over. “ Yeah, I know. I don’t know baby alright. I talk later” Will said rattled. “ Where Camille “ mom asked worriedly. Finn looks at her then at Will waiting for an answer. “ Huh, she alright. Girl stuff. You know that time of the month. She said she was sorry. Good game Finno” Will said rubbing his hands. Finn looks over by where the high school entrance then again at Will. “ Can you tell her I call later if that’s okay with you just to check on her ” Finn asked. Will frown a bit and nodded okay. He spoke to his parents to the side even inviting them to his yacht to celebrate the win when he comes back from a business trip.

It was loud a lot of cheering. In good sport coach invited the other team. Surprisingly they show. It was probably the free food and trash talk. He tried enjoying himself but all he could do was think just what changes in those minutes. Maybe it was something he did. “ Yo to Finn Da Cox sucker. Great win bro” Kevin said raising his drink. Everyone rooting him on. “ Thanks, K “ Finn said spotting Nikkei walking in with her ex. Crushing the red cup in his hand he gave her a look. Nikkei wave goodbye and walk over to Finn and the guys. “ What up with that. Really at my celebration Nikkei “ Finn said pissed. She clings onto his jacket and pushes him to stop. “We were just chatting and smoking babe. You know everyone jealous of you and me. Mostly me” Nikkei said kissing him on the lips. He looks at her ex and walks back over to the party with Nikkei. She sat on his lap as they all celebrate. Time to be Finn all love and envy.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned, letting out a big cold breath out of air. He looks out. He was on her road just sitting on the hood of his car. What happened those moments. Nikkei was extra nice. He had to get his mind right he won so why it feels like he didn’t. He looks again at his phone. A bike road up down the road. Camille came closer to him in a pair of sweatpants covered by a huge black Santa Cruz shroom dot spider dye hoodie. Swinging over the seat she hopped off and walk to him. Her hair blew with the wind. It was silent just noise of nature but in his mind, it sounds like a track of his life went off as she got closer. “And why couldn’t you just come to my house and do this. I’m in my PJ” Camille said pointing at herself. Finn sigh. “ Sorry. I was worried about you. Will was acting strange and you. You were fine then your sick out of nowhere" Finn stated. It was dark yet he could look like a dream. “No no. I’m sorry. How was the part-tay" Camille asked amusingly ignoring his concern? He got closer to her. She walks back a little so she was still a dream imagined. “ It was good. You should have come. Nikkei was extra nice" Finn said putting his hands into his back pockets. She said nothing just look at him. A car passes by making her face clear to see. She had a few bruises busted lip and cut across the face. Finn got close and touch her. He didn't know why but it felt where his hands had to be. Protecting her comforting her. She closes her eyes and smile hold onto his hand and moves it down. “ I’m fine” she said holding his sweaty hand. He knocks it back up and tried to wipe some of the blood away. “What happened” Finn said concern. Her eyes widened and she just looks at him. “ Nothing. Finn, it’s not for me to say. I’m fine it’s just war paint. It’s late. You should probably stay sleep in a guest room. Will got clothes and stuff that should fit you” Camille said bringing her bike over to his car. Breathtaking.

She gave him some towels and a change of clothes for tomorrow. “I will never hurt you, Camille. I just wanna let you know. Never” Finn said. Camille stopped in the doorway and look back at him. “It’s not good to make promises we can’t keep. Good night Finn. You did well today. I'm proud of you“ Camille said. Finn got up shook his head no and squeezed her arm tight. “Never” he said seriously. She nods and touches his cheek and whispered in his ear good night. He lay in bed and thought about her and this time she was just a few feet away.

The smell of fresh cinnamon rolls covers the whole house. He walks into the kitchen still trying to wake up. She was putting the breakfast out for the two. Her glasses tilt down a bit as she was singing. If he never saw the state she was in yesterday he would never think she was a nasty fall. Grabbing a biscuit he sits down. “Your uncle not gotta kill me is he” Finn asked. She holds up the coffee then the orange juice. He nods at the juice then points at the coffee. She sat across from him her feet cross in the chair. “ I guess we will have to see. He is a good shooter... No, he left this morning before you woke up meeting in Canada or was it Calfoina” she said eating some pineapple slices. Finn looks around. “ So they are usually gone all the time like this for real. My parents are so different always there. But still, I feel alone. Guess I should count my blessings" Finn said. Camille pushes back then forward in her chair and nods yes. “ Don’t get any ideas, Finn. It’s a bit of isolation in a land of quiet but I enjoy it. Like the jogs I take. Skills I learn. Oh, that reminds me” Camille said getting up. Finn leaned back to see what she was doing. She walks back with something in her hands. “ What this” Finn asks while drinking coffee. She sat on the table. “ I’m taking the bus to school. So here are the keys for you to lock up” Camille said swaying a key on a Hello Kitty and moon keychain. “Let me take us in” Finn said stopping her. She looks at him then bit her bottom lip. She looks back down then up at him. “You won’t let me go only if I say yes. Then okay but you let me out a block from the school. Don’t want the right people getting the wrong idea. Right “ Camille asked a hand on her hip. “Yeah” he said letting go. She sat back down and look at him before finishing her fruit.

He stops her a block from school just like she asked. Something happened. Last night. Something that she was keeping hidden and probably Nikkei was trying to keep it that way. He wouldn’t have thought that way. Yet it what Camille kept saying and not saying. The looks though that was the keyhole. Nikkei and Kevin waited for him by his locker talking to one another. “ So bro what happened to you. Tried to call you last night” Kevin said greeting Finn. “ Nah nothing. So you heard about the finals” Finn said. They look at each other. “ It’s next Monday. So it’s like what two days after your birthday. No-fuss bro” Kevin said excitedly. “ I got so many ideas for your birthday. We discussed what I like for you to do at lunch okay “ Nikkei said then walked off. Finn looked down at the ground. He completely forgot about his birthday. He has been so busy with classes, his mom, and hockey it didn’t leave him room to be a kid.

They got their assign days, Friday. Camille text him as soon as it went up. They finished thanks to her quick thinking but all left was the actual interviews that they had to do during class. Finn asks a few of his friends and Camille asks a few from class and her group. She was set up in the empty art room. “ What up what are we doing” Finn said walking into the plastic on the floor. Camille looks up in her overalls and crop top. “ Setting up. Finn, you forgot “ Camille said wiping her hands on her overalls.

Stroking his hand through his hair he laughs. The surprise. He looks at her as he was about to say something when people start to come in. It was a genius pure genius perfect IQ smart. Wiping her face she threw a towel at Finn. “ We still gotta film each other part. Look into the bag” Camille said sitting on the stool. Finn look at her then reaches in. It was evening dress, tiara, stash, and his Boy Scout uniform. “ No, I’m not doing that. Mamma boy I’m doing that “ Finn said laughing. Camille flips off her sweat jacket. “ No, I remember you making me do mine and you doing yours it’s in the paper. You know the one we already gave last week. Come on. I go first “ Camille said holding onto her stuff. “ Where you even get this stuff. Cam God damn" Finn said. She smiled and point for him to turn around. He turns around in his stool and pops some music in his ears. After a few minutes, he turns around to see if she was done. Camille was bent pulling up her dress. He watches as she was getting ready. God Kevin was right. Her skin was smooth and tight even her birthmark was cute. Zipping up she flips her hair a bit and turns around. He tried to relax before he did anything else. Cursing at his pants as they grew tight. Camille walks over and sets up her camera for the interview. He watches her. He wanted to smile but he knew he couldn’t. She was the partner just a friend. “Your too cute” Camille said standing beside him. “ What” Finn asked jumping off his stool. “ The uniform it’s cute. So we did the voice-overs now we just gotta have fun with it. Any ideas" Camille said playing with her tiara. “ I got a few” Finn said with a smile.

She said no one will see it till Friday. Not even him. Nikkei was having extra fun planning his birthday bash. Kevin was talking up all the chicks he was inviting. “ I don’t know where we gonna have it at. I got into trouble for the last party. I guess breaking all grandma old crap wasn’t right “ Kevin said eating his apple. Nikkei rolls her eyes and giggle. “ I mean I can see if daddy gonna be home or out with his sugar baby. What about Saturday “ Nikkei asked. Finn looks out at the grass. She was on his mind. “ Yeah do whatever. My parents are having a thing Friday though" Finn said getting up. Nikkei look at Kevin then at Finn. “ Where are you going“ Nikkei says upset. “ Bathroom" Finn answered. He looks deep into the mirror and rushes cold water onto his face. Sitting on the floor he sighs and holds tight. Breathing slowly he slaps himself a few times. Ding Getting up he quickly bumped into someone. He grabs a few of the books and hands it to the person. “ Thanks” Camille said. Finn smiled and nod. “ Yeah welcome. Gotta go” Finn said and dart to his next class. Was it strange, yes but he couldn’t help himself he didn’t know what it was or wasn’t? Or probably it was the fact this year was ending and what would that mean for their friendship.

“ So plans for your birthday. Honey “ mom said folding clothes. Finn tosses his bag on the ground and hops on the king-size bed. She sat beside him and move his head onto her lap. “ You should not be doing this ma. Let me or dad do it “ Finn said. His mom rubs his back a bit. “ I promise myself something, Finn. When it’s time for me to go. I go on my time. No matter the pain. I wanna go when I’m ready. So plans” mom said rubbing his head now. He turns around and looks at her. “ I want to spend it with you. I guess maybe dad can come too” Finn said. His mom smiles and looks at him. He knew what she wanted. “ Surprise then it is" mom said. He smiled and got up to help fold things. Dad came a bit later from work then Finn went off to his room. He swings in his chair as he finished up his homework.

There was a knock waking Finn up from a nap he wasn’t planning on having. “You up. Finn “ a voice said from the other side. Finn slowly got up and wipe his mouth. “ No. Just finished up with homework “ Finn said opening a book to a random page. Dad walks in and looks around. “ Good work out there and around the house. Just wanna make sure alright “ Dad said looking at the trophies. Finn turned his chair around and look at him. “ Thanks, sir” Finn said standing up. He nods in agreement. His dad was a different strong one with no words. That when he speaks all you heard was pride strength and a bit beer. Looking back at a picture of the two he nodded again and walk out. Dad man of few words but always carry the world on his back.

Finn made it clear to himself he wasn’t going to tell Camille about his birthday. “ You got any plans this summer” Finn asked Camille as they sat watching a group. Camille glance at him then back at the group. “ Don’t know. Probably be sent off somewhere like any time I’m not in school. For the summer last year I was feeding and building houses for third world countries. You” Camille said softly. He got a bit closer to her and rest his head on the desk. “Summer practice . Hang with the boys make out with Nikkei. I and my two brothers and my dad go camping at the end of the summer. Summer is supposed to be fun Cam Cam” Finn said nudging his shoulder to hers. She got low and closer to him. “ What I have fun. I went to every museum in this state thank you. I know fun” Camille said with a smile. Finn turns to her shock as if what she said was the biggest nasty secret he ever heard. She rolled her eyes and toss a cookie. “How you know I’m hungry. Food whisper" Finn whispers into her ear. “Maybe I’m just the Finn whisper. You have lunch before me and you are always hungry. Now hush eats your cookies before we get into trouble “ she said tickling him. After class, he waited a bit for her. “ They were good today. We should probably practice. My house after practice. I can take you home after again if you want” Finn asked walking beside her. “ No. That’s alright. I meet you at your house. But I would like it if you drop me home though please “ Camille asked. He grabs at his backpack straps and nod yes. She gently touches his shoulder “Thank you “ she said and walk off. He was worried truly worried his time with her was ending whining down. He wasn't ready for that.

“ So I was thinking probably party. Few kegs, DJ like that techno kid, and lots of chics for your party" Kevin said tossing a ball up in the air. “ We should do something different. Oh, I got it. Bubble machine and I can wear the cute bikini I got. Good idea Finn” Nikkei said to him. Finn looks out to the rest of the classmates than to Nikkei. “ I wanna keep it open to the whole class. We always have the same people the same thing “ Finn said bored. “We look into that Becky" Nikkei said looking at Kevin. Finn sat back slowly mellowing out. Watching everyone put together his birthday party without really thinking. Is this what he wanted. All this time he didn’t want to tell Camille and now he wished she was the only one that knew.

Camille was right in the kitchen cooking and helping mom like so many times before. His dad in his same spot drinking a beer while watching sports. Holding her hand laughing and talking about whatever girly thing mom never was able to talk to with Finn. “Finn come you have to try this. Camille taught me a new dish” mom said to bring over a plate. Finn took it and ate the small nugget side treat. “ Good what is it” Finn said wiping his hands on his sleeve. “ I call it the Alaska roll. She wanted something new so I gave it to her. Your dad loves them “ Camille said pointing at the plate by dad. He smiled and grabbed her hand. “ Ma we got work to do. Do you mind if I take her for a little? Promise I bring her back in one piece“ Finn said walking out with Camille before she could answer.

They sat together on the bed facing each other. She probably is the only girl he never made out or had the attention to do anyway besides his mom in his room. Her posher was tall with strength and pride. She had a sweet floral scent. “ They were good today. I know we are going to be good just” Finn said trying not to pay attention to her scent. She nods in agreement. Unaware of the battle boy beside her was fighting. “ Your right we can practice but we should do something different. What about an audience. I think I see two lucky ones in the living room” Camille said with a gentle elegant smile. “I don’t know. I do sports in front of them but school stuff not sure. Cam” Finn said. Camille got closer and pat his back. “ Finn I’m being serious now. Your amazing it’s time you show them that. Can I tell you something “ Camille asked? He looks up at her and nods. “ I’m scared too. But your family is your family they love and will support you. If you can go in front of a crowd every so night plays a sport you love. In front of your friends your foes strangers. You can do this. I believe that and I guess you” Camille said still rubbing his back. He looks into her eyes and just smiled. “ Can we see the video” Finn asked. Getting up she held his hands. “ They can you maybe" Camille said then went off to ask them.

They were laying down watching a doctor show. “ Can we go over something with you mom and sir?” Finn asked. Camille slowly walks behind him and stood holding on to her computer and sheet. Mom coughs a bit. “ Yes” mom said standing up a bit. Finn looks back at her then at his mom. Camille passed out the paper as Finn started. She decided not to show him but both his parents were more than please, even his dad almost smiled. “ It was so good. Finn” mom said with a big smile looking at the work video. “It’s great. You did great Finn” dad said taking a sip of his beer. Cam looks at Finn then at his dad. Glancing at his watch Finn made an excuse to get out of there. Camille stops before getting out. “ So you know. You're great. Have to give yourself more credit. I hope you realize that. Finn. I hate being the only one. Well besides your family and Will “ Camille said with a smile. “ Same to you“ Finn said before turning back to the road. He stops before driving off. “ I wanna just tell you.... huh. Never mind good night” Finn said. She looks at him. She always could tell. Always.

It was finally the day. The day that took them weeks to prep. He couldn’t believe it was only weeks ago she wasn’t in his life. A time he barely can remember. Without her. Next to him. He wanted to focus on thinking about the future but now he could one thing to do.

Finn paces back and forth outside. Camille wasn’t nervous which made him more nervous. Don’t worry Finn! When all the things he could do was to worry. Games people anything but this. Was it the whole speaking in front of a class thing or the fact he wanted to do good for her. Camille walks up with ripped jeans and a plastic bag. “ Here tiger for you check them out” Camille said pulling one out. Finn dropped his bag and open up the shirt. It was a white t with #TruUBeU, their title of there subject. She waved her finger for him to turn it, his name. She pulled out another box. “What that “ Finn asked. Camille put it down. “ It’s for later. Ready to blow some socks off” Camille said walking in. They were last. Finn was nervous as they set up. Camille thought it is nice maybe even different if they set things different then it usually is done. He watches as she introduces them interacting with the class. Her space. She spoke in a way that made everyone feel special like it was only you and her. It works like lyrics to a song. All working together so perfectly. People were invested. Even the teacher was at the end of the seat. Then the video all brought everything together. By the end the whole class chant and clap their hands. Finn looks at her then at class. His hand intertwined with hers. Proud wasn’t the word he felt important. She left for the next class but not before she gave him the box.

Sitting on the hood of his car he took out the box. It was school colors with a fancy bow with a little card: 𝒯𝑜 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑜. 𝒯𝑜𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒶 𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝑒, 𝑜𝒻 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒, 𝒸𝑒𝓁𝑒𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝓊𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓈𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁 𝒹𝒶𝓎. 𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 - 𝒞𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓁𝑒 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓈𝑜𝓃

Inside was a jersey with Cox’s Ice Devils and a photo frame of him and his parents from the game. That night he celebrated with his parents everything was perfect. They enjoyed each other's company, gave gifts, and watch all the family videos from when he was young.

Dad and mom had a doctor's visit early Saturday which left the party that night. Everyone was hyped excited. Nikkei even text a few pictures of bikinis she was choosing to wear. By the time he arrived at the party, it had already started music bang from ear to ear. Drinks everywhere. Everyone having a good time. Everyone but him. He already got into another fight with Nikkei about her kissing some guy plus all his friends were drunk showing around the calendar. He sat down and watch everyone. Buzz buzz Grabbing his keys he left his party behind for some real fun.

“ Hey, you wanna hang today. Got somewhere fun I wanna take you” Finn asked Camille. She let her hand out the window and flow with the breeze. “ So where are we going, “ Camille asked looking out. He looks at her and smiled. “ You see” Finn said. They pulled up to a festival fair. Camille looks out at aw. “ I go every year. Well use to with my dad” Finn said opening the door for Camille. “ It’s cool. I wish I can say I have been before. Didn't you have a party or something tonight? Don’t you think they miss you” Camille asked? Looking at his phone he turns it off and tosses it into the car. “ Now I’m here with you and all these crazy rides and treats” Finn said taking Camille's hand and running inside.

They walk around to all the attractions and play games against each other. “ How long did you know" Finn said eating popcorn. Camille gave him some cotton candy for some popcorn. “ Your mom told me a few weeks ago. If you wanted to tell me I’m sure you would of“ Camille answered walking beside him. He smiled. “Can I ask you something?" Finn asked. Camille stops and looks at him. Her hair flow with the breeze. “ These weeks have been amazing. Like if I can spend every day like this I want to. Tell me there an after for us. After this. I’m hoping we can still be after this “ Finn said looking into her brown chocolate eyes. “ Yeah. You mean. We can still be friends... Wanna do the photo booth” Camille asked with a giggle going inside.

Finn sat beside her looking into her eyes. Today beginning to feel like the best day he ever had. “ No. I mean more. What if I want more. I did not want to say before but every day I feel like giving up. I felt everything was useless. But with you huh I get butterflies I feel there meaning” Finn said looking at her as he put money in. CLICK She was silent and look at the camera to smile. They started taking pictures smiling till he looks at her once again and stops. Bring his hand to hold her cheeks in each hand he reaches in and kisses her on the lips. CLICK Camille hold his face and kiss back deeper with a little tongue. It tastes like heaven felt like paradise. They drift off playing off with each other mouth with one another. “ Camille” he said muon into her mouth. CLICK She looked at him then move back coming off high that was their kiss. Breathing heavy. “ I shouldn’t you are. But" she said touching her lips looking away. Finn reaches closer and moves her hair to the side. “ Since the day she said your name. I knew. I know you feel it too. Tell me I’m wrong. AND I would never bring it up again. I’m not with her anymore. I don’t care. Cam. I think I want this with you” Finn said combing his fingers through her curls. She was speechless but her eyes answered. The doubt. “ I promise I won’t hurt you” Finn said kissing her again this time a bit more rough hungry. CLICK “ I promise Camille I won't ever leave you. You will never have to alone” Finn said with his forehead touching hers. He looks up into her eyes his hands never leaving her hair.

They hold hands as they rode the Ferris Wheels. Like they finally gave in all the tension that has been building up for weeks. Talking about plans they were gonna do over the summer together. Weeks they spend at each other house. Finn bringing her with him to the camp trip at the end of the summer. Her inviting him to Miami for a week with her. The future. Everything and then nothing. He was happy. More than that he was at peace. Their fingers intertwined with each other as they walk around the grounds. Other holding a few plush animals he won her. He never felt this with any girl before. She was light warmth his heart been missing. Camille stop and glance at her phone. She slowly let go of his hand and called someone. She whispers to the phone then look at Finn. “ We have to go” was all she said. Finn looks at her eyes they were full of joy and were now cold and silent like the dead of winter.

They got to the hospital just in time. Finn rushes past everyone and leaving Camille behind fighting back her tears. Praying they made it just in time. Finn sat by his mom's tears rolled down his face. “ I want to go knowing my baby happy. I know that I can leave you and you will be alright. I don’t want to be in pain anymore. I love you, Finn Edwards Cox. My boy my sun and my moon. I love you” she said holding tight to his hand. Finn wouldn’t leave her side even as the minutes roll to one.

With each call text, Finn stayed away. Alone to himself. Even when it came to the funeral he asks for Camille not to come. He couldn’t he won’t. In class, he wouldn’t answer her just pretend she wasn’t there. All he wanted was to be numb to forget.

It was the championship and he was different. Not the same as he was before. Was that for the better or worse. The locker room was empty just him and his thoughts. “ Did you hear we got an A. Best in the class. It was perfect. All thanks to you. How are you?” a soft voice said by the entrance. Finn pays the voice no mind. Camille walks in and stood in front of him. Her eyes were gentle. While he was raw full of anger and an unsettling mist. She went to grab his hand but he moves away. “ What do you want!” Finn snaps at her. Camille looks around then at him startled.“ I tried calling you. I tried everything. You shut me out. I promise we can make through this Finn. I can show you. Like I did when I lost my parents” Camille said trying to look at him. He pushed her away from this time firm. Making her almost fall back onto the ground. “Don’t you get it. Why are you so…” he stops and grabs at his hair “It was nothing. We are nothing you are fucking nothing...Your nothing. NOTHING but a fucking pathetic bastard of a joke. I mean how fucked up are you your parents had to die to leave you. God sends you back because he doesn’t want you either. Your only family rather be anywhere but with you. NOTHING but a GODLESS BITCH“ Finn shout out to her.

He turns his face from her. He couldn’t see it but he felt the pain. Standing right behind him she started to laugh. “ You not worthy. Oh yeah, say the words I see on my face every day. I was the one you went to Finn. You came to me. You told me how I made ... Freakin kiss me. Your looks can fade your friends are leeches those skills you hold so highly can’t be the answer all the time. But I show you a magic trick. Something so worthy. You won't ever see it coming. I disappear vanished you can look right at me but not see a thing. My name would be of gibberish ” she said softy holding back any emotion. He turns and she was gone. The crowd cheered out for him. He stops and looks once more than went out to the lights.

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