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#I don’t know how anyone puts up with me. I know I wouldn’t if I had the choice
Note
Hi can u please write about domestic life with Bills Eric Draven? Can there be fluffy and smutty moments? Tyyyy
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Boy can I??? I’d be DELIGHTED. His domesticity is all I think about. He’s the sweetest, kindest and most loving bf and you can’t change my mind. I got a little carried away! Hopefully this is what you were wanting! Enjoy doll!
Bf!Eric x gf!reader. Explicit sexual content under the cut, minors dni, oral (f receiving), p in v. brief mentions of drug use, mostly fluffy relationship stuff
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It wasn’t entirely easy. You and Eric. The circumstances under which you met and the nature of the both of you was quite dysfunctional. You were chaos, and he was a mess. But it worked. The two of you. You worked perfectly. You weren’t sure what it was, you had never been able to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. But it was almost like you were meant to be together. If you didn’t believe in the whole soulmates thing, you started to believe it when you met Eric.
He was so unreal, so out of this world. He was always by your side, fingers laced with yours, arm thrown over your shoulder. He always had to be touching you, whether it was something as little as holding your hand, or going as far as putting you in a matting press when he fucked you, because he hated the idea of not being as close to you as possible. He never meant to, he didn’t even know what it was. He just did it one day. Your knees damn near next to your head, your body nearly folded in half as he draped his body over yours. You didn’t even know your body could bend this way. But god this you like it. How deep he could be this way. And you had him so close you could hear his little sounds, his hard breathing and his soft grunts.
He always felt a little bad, manhandling you around like you were nothing. If he wasn’t bending your body in ways you didn’t think were human, he was putting you in a headlock as he took you from behind, one arm draped around your neck from shoulder to shoulder. He just wanted you close, afraid you’d run away. But he sometimes forgot to take it easy on you. You always assured him you were more than happy with him, that he wouldn’t hurt you. Deep down it made you all kinds of earn to know you could arise such passions from him. For someone so morbidly quiet and nonchalant, Eric was very intense and passionate lover.
“It’s okay, baby. I got you. You’re doing so good.” He would tell you, his voice soft and quiet in your ear, grounding you as his cock fucked you into nothing. “I just want to make you feel good, hm? Just want to make you feel good. That’s what you deserve.”
“I don’t deserve this. You’re too good for me.” He would say, his lips on your cheek as quiet moans spilled from your lips. “You’re just so… I can’t believe you’re all mine.” His name falling from your lips would be the end of him. So soft and desperate for him. He didn’t have much experience before you, but now he just can’t get enough of you. He wanted to be all over you at all times it actually upset him when you had to leave or when he did.9
But he was also oh so kind, so gentle and patient with you. He always followed you around like an oversized puppy, quietly listening to whatever tangent you would go on about. You could be cursing up a storm (albeit not directed at him) and he would take it with a straight face and big eyes. And it was often that nothing more but his presence would calm you down, center you.
“How do you do it?” You asked him one day, hot tears staining your face after a day of one stressor after another. Eric had managed to get you on the couch where he silently sat you down on his lap. You almost immediately curled up into his lap, legs tucked under you and your head on his chest. You felt an almost instant sense of relief and peace fill you, and you were sighing deeply, feeling your heart slow its fast beating.
“Do what?” He asked you softly, his fingers massaging your head calmly. You rested your hand on his chest, eyes closed.
“This. You calm me down. I was crying two minutes ago and now I feel… okay.” You felt him shrug under you and when you looked up he had a smile on his face. That smile could make you forget any grief or sadness you might have, because none of it really mattered.
But it wasn’t just him who could bring you peace, you were his, too. His lows weren’t as intense or visible as yours, but when he was at his low, he was at an all time low. He wouldn’t speak, he wouldn’t eat, he would just go about his day like a corpse, eyes dead and empty and his mind elsewhere. You understood he had his issues too, so you tried to be there for him without pushing him. You were more subtle. You’d make him dinner, you’d invite him to watch a movie with you. And you’d tangle up with him on the couch as you all but forced him to eat, and you’d talk to him about your day. But something so small always meant so much to him. He couldn’t help the way he felt, he couldn’t help his negative thoughts that drove him to do drugs in the first place, but having you around to remind him someone in this world loved and cared for him, it made it all a little bit easier.
Eric started to bring you flowers one day. Every week once a week, he could come home with your favorite flowers. He alternated colors. With a sheepish smile he’d stand in the doorway with his hands behind his back. And the way he would look at you when gushed about how pretty they were was like he was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world, the only one that mattered. And to him you were. Seeing that smile on your face was the only thing he ever wanted to do.
“You like them?” He would ask as if it wasn’t obvious, but he’d do it just to hear you giggle and watch you all but skip to put them in water. “Yeah? I saw them and thought about you.”
He always thought about you. There wasn’t a single waking second where he didn’t. You were good for him. And he knew that. He didn’t need anything else to fill the emptiness in his chest because he had you. You had filled that hole and he made sure you knew that everyday.
Eric had many ways to show his love and devotion for you. He wrote you poems, he drew for you, you had so many sketches you have started to run out of places to hang them, but this one was by far his favorite. He could spend literal hours between your legs. He absolutely loved it. He was absolutely obsessed with it.
“E-Eric.. Please.” You were shaking, sweating, incoherent as his tongue circled on your clit, his long fingers fucking you through your, fourth, fifth? You stopped keeping count. He had been down there for an eternity. He just kept asking for one more, just one more and he’d leave you alone. But it wasn’t enough. He was quite obsessive with the things he wanted.
But he figured he’d have to give you a break eventually. He was also painfully hard.
“I’m sorry baby.” He muttered softly as he crawled up your body, using the back of his hand to wipe the mess you had made, but his plush lips were still bright red and glistening. “You know I get carried away sometimes… You’re just so..”
He would kiss your face, brush your hair, soothe you back into a functioning human being. It wasn’t often that Eric vocalized his thoughts, but in moments like this when he felt safe and comfortable enough to be vulnerable, he would tell you all about how pretty you were, how talented you were, how much he loved you.
Eric was always full of surprises. He was quiet and nonchalant, but he was impulsive. You learned that very quickly.
“Baby?” You heard Eric call out to you as he came into the loft. You sat on the computer as you listened to one of his recordings. He had asked you to help him out since he really wanted to start pursuing his music and art now that he actually had someone that supported him.
With a smile, you took your headphones off and went to greet him, but you immediately frowned when you saw him hold something wrapped up in his hoodie.
“Hey, whatcha got there?” You stood up, approaching him with narrowed eyes as he broke out a smile.
“I’m sorry. I just found it, I just.. I felt bad.” He pulled down his hoodie to reveal a precious little kitten. A black ball of fur coating its little face. Your heart immediately sank and you wanted to cry.
“Oh my god, Eric.” You took the kitten into your hands and your eyes started watering as you hugged it. Eric wasn’t sure what to make of your reaction. Did you hate it? Were you upset?
“No, baby, I’m sorry. I found it outside, it’s kinda cold and it was drinking from a puddle. I didn’t want a car to hit it. We don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to, we can take it to a shelter or something.” He started to mumble, a hand coming to rub the back of his head and his lips fell open when he saw a tear fall down your cheek. He approached you, reaching to grab your face. “Please don’t cry.”
“No… No Eric I’m not..” You sniffled, laughing softly through your tears as you leaned into Eric’s chest while still hugging the now purring black ball of fur. “I’m not upset at all. It’s just… I’ve never had my own pet before. And it’s so cute, can we keep it, please? It’d be our little child.”
The way you looked at him with big pleading eyes made him feel so warm, he never thought he’d feel something like this. He smiled, nodding as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Of course we can keep it. He’s kinda cute, right?” Eric chuckled as he scratched the little one’s head.
“Or she.”
Your little ball of fur wasn’t the only thing you and Eric shared. You got so many matching tattoos it was concerning. Your friends and family had even told you it was odd to get tattoos with a guy you had been dating for only a few months. But it didn’t matter to you. You didn’t know why, but deep down you knew your connection with Eric was out of this world. So what were a couple tattoos? You loved that you had a physical reminder of your connection with him. The feelings deep within your souls were forever marked on your skin, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Truth was, Eric loved tracing each and every one of your tattoos. He traced his fingers over the fine lines, traced the words, he traced his lips over them too. He particularly loved the ones on your back and on your stomach, the ones no one but him could see. They were his little secret.
You matched each other perfectly, in every way.
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moosesarecute · 2 days
Text
The Shadows Mate
A continuation of “The Shadows Sing”
Previous part “The Shadows Heal”
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“Please ask him not to tell Azriel,” you asked your shadows to tell Azriel’s. He always let a shadow stay behind with yours and you always had one going with his. “He can’t know any of it.”
“He promises.”
You knew what to do, but you didn’t know how.
It felt like the most important mission of your life.
You were accepting the mating bond. The only problem is that you had no idea what to make him.
You had tried to ask him what he wanted you to do as accepting the bond, besides the food offering of course, but he never answered properly.
“I’m happy with whatever you want to do, lovely.”, “I only need you.”, “you can make me whatever you want when the time comes.”
It annoyed you like crazy. He had been teaching you to be open about what you wanted the last year, and when you ask him he wouldn’t even give a proper answer.
So that’s how you ended up asking for help.
You felt embarrassed by it. He was your mate for cauldrons sake! You should know him better than anyone, but you couldn’t even figure out his favorite food.
While dinner together with Cassian and Nesta wasn’t rare, you had only eaten alone with them a couple times.
Azriel was away for a week long mission, so they kept you company.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Nesta pointed out. “Everything okay?”
“Can you guys help me with something?”
“Anything,” Cassian answered immediately.
You felt unnecessarily nervous as you drew your breath and started to speak.
“I was wondering if you knew what Azriel’s favorite food is.” You hoped they would understand what you meant without you having to tell them.
From her reaction you could tell that Nesta knew exactly what you were insinuating, but Cassian seemed clueless.
“I mean, I guess he likes chicken or fish often with potatoes,” Cassian spoke looking questionably at you.
“I think she meant something a little more special,” Nesta told him.
Cassian spent some time thinking before his eyes widened. A huge smile grew on his face.
“Are you serious?”
You nodded, trying to hold back your excitement, but your shadows gave it away. They were dancing around in happiness.
“I guess you have already tried to ask him what he would want?” Nesta questioned.
“Yes,” you said with a sigh. “He never gave me proper answers.”
“Of course he didn’t, it’s Az we’re talking about.” You felt comforted knowing that Cassian understood your problem. “His favorite food is this casserole his mother makes. He always brings some of it home after visits, but he never shares with anyone.”
You had to hide your smile as you realized he never shared with anyone. Except you. You had tasted the casserole, only a small amount, but it tasted amazing.
“Maybe you could make a casserole, but put your own small twist on it,” Nesta suggested.
“I could, but I don’t have the recipe.”
That’s how you found yourself in Cassian’s arms as he flew you to the River House.
His flying was rougher than Azriel’s, but you didn’t mind. Having the wind move your hair felt amazing either way.
Cassian sat you down on the ground and basically pulled you inside the house.
“Auntie Y/N!” Nyx yelled the second he was you.
Nyx loved you and you loved him back. You and Azriel had quickly become babysitter’s number one, mostly because of your shadows.
However, you weren’t even able to greet the child before Cassian had dragged you past him and into the living room.
Feyre and Rhysand barely managed to look confused at you before Cassian spoke.
“SheisacceptingthebondsoweneedyoutogethertomotherAzrielsoshecangetthecasserolerecipe,” Cassian finished with a deep breath before he continued. “I’m so excited!”
You knew Feyre and Rhysand were communicating mind to mind as they spent some time without answering.
Soon, Feyre picked up Nyx and grabbed Cassian’s hand, leaving the room.
“Cassian seems overjoyed,” Rhysand said. “Sure he’s not the one accepting the bond?”
You let out a nervous laugh. You should be more excited, shouldn’t you? You were doing everything wrong, you should just go home and do something else.
“Hey, hey,” Rhysand’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. Just first now realized how your shadows had covered you. “Come here, sit down.”
You did as he said and sat down on the couch beside him.
“You seem stressed. Was Cassian right? About you accepting the bond?”
You nodded carefully.
“That’s great, Y/N! But if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are you so worried about? You know he will accept it right? He’s basically wrapped around your finger.”
Your shadows lighted a little.
“I know! I know. That’s not what I’m worried about. I didn’t know what to make him, so I asked Cassian and Nesta and they suggested I make that casserole his mother makes with my own twist, but I need the recipe.”
Rhysand only nodded at you.
“Seems like a good idea. I’m sure his mother would love it and Azriel would be thrilled. We can go now if you want to?”
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You landed in front of a cottage in the woods. You had winnowed, so the travel didn’t take long.
The cottage was small with a big garden with both flowers and other plants. On the fence was a small sign where it stood “Rosehall”.
You were too busy staring at the beauty of the garden to realize your shadows thought the same thing you did.
“No, wait!” You tried to hold them back, but they didn’t listen.
They swirled around the entire garden. It was like they were smelling the flowers.
“Pretty!”
“Smells good!”
Unfortunately, their idea of smelling flowers included smashing them to the ground.
“This is not good,” you sighed towards Rhysand, but he only laughed at you.
“Azriel?” A beautiful voice called from inside the cottage. “Is that you? I didn’t expect you back so soon.”
A beautiful female walked out of the cottage and towards the two of you. She wore simple but elegant clothes. But what horrified you was her wings, or wing.
On her back there was a shredded wing and the other one seemed to be gone.
“Not exactly Azriel,” Rhysand replied to her. “But I guess the second best-“
“Y/N!” Azriel’s mother exclaimed at you. She had soon engulfed you in her comforting arms. “It’s so nice to meet you!”
As she pulled away, you understood for sure that this was Azriel’s mother. They didn’t look alike, but her eyes. Her eyes were his eyes. They were just as comforting and bright as Azriel’s.
“I’m sorry about the flowers,” you managed to get out.
She only laughed a motherly laugh. Your shadows danced around her at the sound. Azriel had also gotten his laugh from her.
“It’s fine, lovely. Azriel’s shadows do the same thing and I’ve heard from him that your shadows are even more adventurous.”
You couldn’t help but to smile at the nickname.
She let you go and moved towards Rhysand.
“Hello, dear,” she said as she kissed his cheek. “How are you?”
“Everything’s good. Nyx is practicing flying longer distances so we spend a lot of time in the air.”
“Wonderful! And how’s Cassian and Morrigan?”
“They’re both doing great. Cassian and Nesta are still training more Valkyries and Morrigan is busy leading Hewn City.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’s doing an amazing job!”
The positivity Azriel’s mother gave out was the total opposite of her son. But at the same time, it felt exactly the same.
“But I can’t help to wonder, why are you visiting now? Is all alright with Azriel? I spoke to him last week, and he seemed fine.”
“Don’t worry, he’s fine,” Rhysand looked over to you. “Very fine, if I may add.”
Now also Azriel’s mother looked at you. You couldn’t meet their stares.
“Ehh, I-I’m, I thought I might,” you let out a sigh. “I thought I might accept the mating bond and Cassian suggested that I make him your casserole with my own twist, so I would need the recipe. But if that’s not okay with you, I will of course figure out something else.”
First now you looked up at Azriel’s mother.
She had glossy eyes. She moved slowly towards you and embraced you once more.
“I would love that,” she whispered to you. You almost started crying alongside her. “If you don’t mind, I’d like for us to figure out a twist on it together.”
She took your hand and led you towards her cottage.
“I’ve got it under control, Rhysand. Go home to your family.”
You only heard a chuckle and then Rhysand disappeared.
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You had spent hours in the kitchen. Making the casserole together with Azriel’s mother was so easy, but doing it alone was something completely different.
“Smells good!”
“It’s not right!”
You needed this to be perfect.
Azriel had done everything for you. He had saved your life when you didn’t even realize you needed saving.
Azriel had helped you learn who you truly were and how you wanted to live your life.
Azriel had learned you to live, had learned you to enjoy living.
However, the most important thing. Azriel had learned you to love.
He gained your trust enough for you to put your entire life, trust and love into him. He had made you comfortable enough to give yourself to him, recently also sexually.
You felt ready to go for the next step and Azriel had made it clear that he did too.
This had to be perfect.
You started lighting the candles and sat the table as you let the casserole simmer a little longer.
Suddenly you felt your heart lighten, your eyes widen and your anxiety to ease.
Strong arms tightened your waist.
“Caldron, I’ve missed you,” Azriel mumbled as he smelled you. “You smell amazing, lovely. I love you.”
You felt his body first tense and then relax even more than before.
“What are you making?” He asked not letting go of your waist.
You moved around in his arms so you could see him clearly. All the anxiety you had previously felt had disappeared.
He loved you, you knew that. First now you had understood that when he said he would have been happy with whatever, he meant it.
You felt a mix of relief, total joy, love and comfort through the bond and you realized he had understood what you were doing.
“I went to your mother and we made a twist to it to make it more like me. I wanted to make you something special. So I asked Cassian and he suggested that I speak to your mother. Rhysand brought me and your mother and I spent an entire day together making the recipe.”
Overwhelming love spread through your body. Almost all of it came from Azriel.
His shadows moved and caressed your face. You leaned into them as you shifted your gaze into Azriel’s hazel eyes.
His eyes were filled with tears and soon they were also running down his cheeks.
You felt him loosen his grip on your waist, but you didn’t let him. Your shadows quickly strapped his arm back around you and dried the tears of his cheeks.
“Love,” they whispered to you. “We love our mate.”
You couldn’t hold back any longer as you leaned in and met your mate’s soft lips. Butterflies spread through your body and you had to giggle at the excitement of it all.
After a while, you moved out of Azriel’s arms and towards the casserole. You got him a serving and handed it to him.
“You should have some too,” he whispered.
He sat down his bowl and found you some food as well.
“I love you, Y/N. I’m the most honored that you chose to spent your life with me. I don’t have words for how happy I am,” he spoke as he handed you your food.
Once more your shadows had to dry tears from his cheeks.
“I’m the happiest fae ever, Azzie. I couldn’t have asked for a better mate and I hope you know that. I love you.”
Now, neither one of you could hold back your tears.
His shadows carefully dried away your tears as your’s dried away his.
You both looked at each other as you raised your forks.
“I’m yours,” you whispered.
“And I’m yours,” he answered.
And then, you both ate the casserole you had prepared.
If the love you felt through the bond had been overwhelming before, you no longer had words to explain what it felt like now.
It felt right.
“Love.”
“Love.”
You stopped admiring Azriel’s beauty and your head snapped towards the shadows that had wrapped around your entire body.
Not your shadows, but Azriel’s.
“Mate, mate, we love mates!”
“Our mates!”
Both you and Azriel had stopped eating.
“I can hear your shadows,” you whispered.
“I can hear yours too.”
Neither one of you could hold back as you moved to kiss each other.
“Finally!”
“Finally, indeed!”
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“Azriel, can you even breathe?” Cassian asked him the second the two of you walked into the dining room.
Even though both of you had moved passed the most extreme part of the protectiveness after accepting the mating bond, your shadows had not.
So anytime you were more than a meter away from Azriel, your shadows would engulf him and his would cover you.
And your shadows definitely didn’t like Cassian question their methods of protecting your mate. You felt a pull to your hair.
“Our mate!”
Excuse me, our mate.
Soon Cassian was on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” said said and moved to help him up.
Unfortunately for you, Azriel’s shadows would not at all let you be closer to a male than what you were to Azriel. So they stopped you.
“This is getting out of hand, can you relax a little?” Azriel carefully asked all the shadows.
And suddenly, also Azriel was on the floor.
The ever protecting shadows were also never wrong, Azriel still needed to learn that.
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Hope you have enjoyed their story as much as I have! This is the last planned part, but maybe I’ll explore more of their stories another time. Thank you to all that have been reading!
@i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark @saltedcoffeescotch @rcarbo1 @mrsjna @kitsunetori @thecraziestcrayon @blessthepizzaman @mybestfriendmademe @scatteredstardustt @lilah-asteria @aaahhh0127 @topaz125 @miadialila @ivy-34 @goldenmagnolias @bwormie @animalistic0
Deviders by @cafekitsune
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heyaheiya · 3 days
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Will you write something about single dad bakugo falling in love with his child’s daycare teacher and her or them feeling the same 🥺🥺 -🦕
Sorry this took so long 😭😭
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Katsuki didn’t plan on ever getting into a relationship again; just him and his darling daughter was enough for him. That was until your stupid face somehow wormed its way into his mind.
His girl, Bakugou Chiyo, had been going to daycare for a few months now, but he’d never met you officially.
As much as Mitsuki loved having the little one over most weekdays, she didn’t have all the time in the world to spend babysitting. Eijirou encouraged Katsuki to enroll Chiyo and had recommended the daycare he used for his kids. Despite Katsuki’s hesitation towards it, Eijirou wouldn’t stop pestering the man to give it a chance. Something about ‘socialisation’ or whatever. Still, Katsuki put up a good fight.
“Fuck no, you know how disgusting other people’s kids are?? I don’t want Chiyo catching rabies from those things.”
“It’s expensive, I’m not exactly rich right now you know!”
“How do I know those teachers are qualified?”
“I’m sure Chiyo’s gonna hate it so what’s the bother.”
Unfortunately, Chiyo loved it, waking up early and being pretty self sufficient for a 4 and a half year old. She even packed her bag herself before bed so it was ready the next morning. Yes it was filled with just stuffed animals, and what.
“Baby, do you seriously need all of your friends? Why not pick one?”
“But they’ll be lonely :(“
Katsuki had to write out a whole schedule of which plush goes to daycare on which day. This rotation made sure the toys all got an equal amount of days.
Chiyo had been getting chattier in the recent days. Perhaps shitty hair was right about the socialisation bit… However, at dinner that night, a new name kept coming up.
“-and I was really sad. But then, Smiley came over and made it better!”
“Who’s ’Smiley’, princess?”
“Silly daddy, you see her every day at pickup!”
That was helpful. One out of the army of children he has no time to notice.
“Tell me about Smiley. She nice to you?”
“Mhm! Today she secretly gave me a chocolate from the teacher desk :D”
Alarms went off in Katsuki’s head. Chiyo’s friends with a thief. Chiyo’s gonna turn into a criminal. Chiyo’s gonna get arrested in the future. Chiyo needs to stop being friends with this ‘Smiley’ kid!!
“What??”
“Yeah. She told me not to tell anyone or she’ll get in trouble… But you won’t tell, right daddy l?”
The next day and drop off, Katsuki stomped in, all geared up in his hero suit, with a massive scowl decorating his face. Usually Mitsuki and Masaru drop the sweetheart off in the mornings, and by the end of a long work day, Katsuki doesn’t have time to chat. So other parents and teachers had basically never had a proper conversation with the man. That sure was gonna change.
“Who is this ‘Smiley’ kid??”
The receptionist looked befuddled.
“Oh no.. what did she do?”
“Nunya goddamn business. Point me to ‘er”
A shaken older hand pointed towards a young and surprisingly pretty face across the room. Must be the kids mother.
Katsuki stomped his way over to the woman. Either she shrunk back in fear of the pro hero, or his anger made him grow a few inches.
“Oi! Who do you think you are? Letting your kids behave like that? I swear, don’t give me some shi- stupid excuse!”
“I’m so sorry! Has someone been picking on Chi-Chi?”
“Chi-Chi? Seriously nicknaming a kid that doesn’t belong to you? That’s so fuc- freaking creepy.”
Chiyo yanked at her father’s pant leg a bit.
“Don’t yell at Smiley like that >:(“
Huh. Smiley.. is the teacher. Oh. A normal person would instantly apologise, but Katsuki? Pro hero Dynamight?
“What kind of relationship do you have with my daughter??”
He made you look like a child predator in front of your entire classroom, their parents, and your boss +coworkers..To say he felt bad was an understatement, the look of your terrified and embarrassed face scarring his mind for days.
Then, Chiyo came home balling her eyes out.
“Miss Smiley wasn’t there! She left me!”
Fuck. He knew what he had to do.
+81 XXX XXX XXX: Meet me at the restaurant down the street in 10.
Y/N: What the freak
When he saw you walk in, his jaw dropped. Unfortunately, you were beautiful, like the girls on the covers of magazines. However, your cute and almost squishable face quickly turned to a glare, eyes shooting lasers through his face.
It’s silent for a long time.
“This is the part where you apologise for getting me fired.”
“Right, I’m really sorry.”
“Look, I love Chiyo so so much. She’s a good kid and I’m sure you can tell she’s grown an attachment to me. If it’s because you or her mother feels jealous-“
“I’m single, the mother is out of the picture.”
“Oh so you just felt like being a dick?”
“Mind your language, Sensei. Wouldn’t want any kids to develop a fowl tongue.”
“I’m the reason Chiyo doesn’t have some of your key vocabulary. Watch it, Dynamight.”
“Oh I’m so scared😒”
You instantly stood up and grabbed your purse. “If you’re just here to rub salt in the wound, I think we’re done.” Fuck. Katsuki yanked you back down into your seat, eyes begging.
“No, fuck- I can’t stop fucking this up. Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Wanna add another f-bomb to that statement?”
“Fuck off.”
“There we go.”
Katsuki groaned to himself, wanting to kill himself right there and then.
“I came here to apologise and fix things, but I’m stupid and can’t fucking communicate!”
“There are other swear words y’know?”
“Take me seriously.”
Your face softened slightly. You seriously thought he might cry in the middle of some random ramen restaurant.
“How do I fix this??”
“Well..”
You didn’t ask for too much really. Shopping spree (clothes, jewellery, cosmetics, skincare, shoes, hair pins, the works), official apology to everyone who was in the room at the time, get job back, and a bunch of tiramisu.
After all that, you were nothing but smiles. Then it clicked. Always smiling. Miss Smiley. Damn, that was a lazy nickname.
“Chiyo was the one who came up with ‘Miss Smiley’.”
It’s the best goddamn nickname anyone has ever made.
“Is there anything else you wanna add to that long ass list of yers???”
“Perchance..”
“Well??”
“A second date?”
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This is not my best, I’m sorry 😭😭 hope you enjoyed! And requests are still open. Please, I need inspiration 🙏🙏
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twistyfish · 7 hours
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Your writing is so good whaaatt!! Could you do another comfort fic with the lad boys? Maybe like they come home and the reader is crying for whatever reason and so onnn. I love comfort fics 🤧🤧
thank you very much! here you are. i’m in a bit of a writing slump honestly 🥲, but i tried. also, some of you are requesting, which i’m very grateful for! if I don’t respond immediately it’s because i’m working on something else at the moment.
prompt~ they come home to you crying.
𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴
Zayne
You were so exhausted. You woke up with a horrible headache and did badly in training today because of that. Captain Jenna snapped at you over your simple errors, which made you feel worse.
You wordlessly picked a mug out of the cupboard and filled it with water. You brought it to your lips and drank, each gulp sounding against the metronomic headache that wouldn’t let you rest. A trickle of blood dripped down your philtrum, making a small splash in your cup. Sniffing, you wiped your nose.
Each drop of blood that ran from your nose overwhelmed you more and more until you were scrubbing your nose with your sweater sleeve, the wool fibers catching the liquid. You pulled your arm away and it looked like a surgeon’s rags.
Speaking of surgeons, your boyfriend chose that unaesthetic moment of you messily wiping your nose to walk into the kitchen. You put your arm by your side and tried to act normal as he fixed himself a cup of juice.
You kept your back turned to him as he asked, “How was training today?”
“Training was pretty standard. Tara told me she’s thinking of getting a tattoo.”
“Really? Did she tell you what kind of tattoo?”
“A pair of cherries.” You were just making stuff up, trying to find an exit from the conversation so you could clean up. “I’m going to go change into pajamas.” You quickly walked up the stairs before he could say anything.
Lip quivering, you picked out a set of pajamas and put it on the bed. You stripped out of your sweater, and the red patch on the sleeve caught your eye. Shit. Why did you wipe your nose on it? It would definitely stain. You really liked this sweater, too.
You felt your eyes burn, a fun contrast to the other sensations of your throbbing head and leaky nose. Tears slipped from your eyes, and you held back the sobs for a few beats before giving up and muffling your face in the already stained sweater.
You must have been like that for a while, because Zayne meandered upstairs without you hearing and peeked inside the bedroom door. “You’ve been up here for a while. What are you-,” he stopped, eyes widening. “Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?”
He quickly walked over and put a hand on your back, peering down at you. “Is that blood?”
You wiped your face on the sweater before letting it plop to the floor. “Yeah,” you said tearily.
“Why are you bleeding? And why are you crying?” Came his calm response.
“I had a bloody nose, and… I don’t know.” You dissolved into sobs again. He looked at you sadly, his hazel eyes big and worried. He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly for a few minutes until you calmed down. He rubbed your bare back, feeling the goosebumps and pulling your pajama shirt over your head.
“You don’t have to run away. From me, or your feelings,” he whispered.
𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖
Sylus
The air was too heavy. There was too much to dwell on, too many morbid and sickening atrocities that made you feel sour. You couldn’t comprehend how the world was still spinning with so many terrible people weighing it down. You certainly felt like you had been kicked off your axis.
It was more than anyone could take. One too many cases of something horrible on the news, and your stomach was churning. The reporter had described the event so plainly, with a grim resignation. The world was so advanced, and yet….
You didn’t feel the remote slip from your hand. You didn’t hear it clatter on the floor. You didn’t feel the tears swim down your face. You only registered that you were crying when your throat produced a strangled sound, and you finally clapped your hands to your eyes and just bawled.
You cried until you were dehydrated and numb and the garage door opened with a muted whirring. Your large boyfriend entered a few moments later, and you heard a quiet gasp as he took in the sight of you sobbing on the couch.
Sylus seemed less like a fiend and more like a fairy with the way he flitted around you, uncharacteristically lacking composure while trying to figure out what was wrong. By that point, the news had changed to some other story, and he looked confusedly at the TV.
“Darling, are you crying about inflation?”
That didn’t even get a smile from you, so he just picked you up from under the armpits and rocked you slowly, like a baby. You continued to cry softly as he shushed you and whispered comforting words in your ear.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” He asked gently.
“There are so many bad people in the world,” you managed to say through weak hiccups.
“I know. You’re dating one of them.”
“You’re different,” you mumbled. “
“Oh? How am I different?”
“You’re an evil bastard, but I love you.”
He laughed throatily at that, and you felt a little better.
𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝
Rafayel
You were in a nice hotel, lying amidst silky duvets and plush, fat pillows. The moonlight snuck through the gaps between the ivory curtains and created beautiful spectral patterns on the walls.
Your darling fiancé was sleeping with his arm wrapped around you, so why were your shoulders shaking? Why were soft, choked sobs escaping your lips? Why the hell were you crying on vacation?
You didn’t know. All you did know was that Rafayel was stirring, surely awoken by your movement.
“Are you crying?” He murmured sleepily, propping himself up.
You willed yourself to stop shaking, stop being weak and just shut up. But it wasn’t working. The misery and self pity was eating you alive.
“Oh, sweetie,” he said, gently turning you around and cupping your head, kissing your wet cheek. “Don’t cry. You’ll get dehydrated.”
More tears ran down your face, and he continued to brush them away with soft fingers. “What’s wrong, my gorgeous girl?”
“I don’t know,” you choked out. “I just feel bad.”
“Oh, my love….” Rafayel kissed you again with sweetness and compassion. He combed through your hair with his fingers and rubbed your cheek with his thumb. He didn’t know how to soothe you, so he did the only thing he could think to do. He distracted you.
He brought his lips to yours and gently showed you his love for you. Whatever you were feeling, he would overpower it with all his heart.
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Xavier
The clash of metal exploded in the air as your swords collided yet again, and you dodged another attack. Your eyes were burning. There was absolutely no way you were about to cry while sparring with Xavier.
But the next time your swords collided and you met Xavier’s soft, focused gaze, you failed to hold it back. You stared intently into his eyes as both of you struggled, and while straining against his sword, tears began falling from your eyes. His own eyes widened, and he stepped back, pulling his mask down.
“Are you injured?” He asked worriedly. “Did I hurt you?”
You shook your head, lip trembling. You let out a shaky sob, and that was enough to concern him further.
“__….” He was at a loss for words. He had never seen you cry, and now….
“What happened?” He bent down, trying to assess your expression. You were trying not to let the tears win, but they definitely were. You finally gave up trying to hold it in and let your sword drop to the floor with a soft clink, now crying openly.
Xavier reached out hesitantly and pulled you into his embrace. Both of you were hot and stinky from sparring, but that didn’t matter. Not while you were crying.
You let out muffled sobs into his neck, letting him hold you as the two of you sank to the floor. Your tears mingled with the sweat on his shoulder, and he rubbed your back soothingly as you cried. He held you like that for a while.
“I’m sorry,” you said once the sobs had died down.
“It’s okay. I just want to know where this came from,” he replied in that sweet, soft voice.
“I’m tired,” came your plain response. He didn’t question you further, and gently patted your head.
He helped you pick up your things and walked you to the locker room, and you stopped to take a drink at the water fountain. His gaze was fixed on you as you drank, eyes tracing the curvature of your lips. He was so engrossed in watching you drink that you couldn’t help but feel shy.
You finished drinking and said bye to Xavier, still thinking about the interaction. He was always soft spoken, but you didn’t know he could be this gentle. Maybe you should talk to him more outside of sparring.
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joocomics · 2 days
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ಬ fuck buddies: part two
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part one | part two | part three
pairing: fuckbuddy!yangyang x f!reader x loser!winwin
genre: angst wc: 1.8k
contains: friends with benefits trope, jealousy, bickering and miscommunication, toxic relationships, dirty talk, gets a bit smutty in the end
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“a little bird told me that something interesting went down in my kitchen minutes before the party.” yangyang speaks up without feeling the need to look at you as you walk into the room with drinks for the two of you in hands.
upon hearing these words, on the inside, you instantly picture winwin and how you cuss at him; how you punch his chest and tell him to fuck off for thinking it was a good idea to open his mouth about this even after you told him not to. on the outside, you exclaim with the most unbothered surprise you can fake.
“oh? who is it about?”
“try to guess.”
winwin’s face is still present in your mind as your heart clenches from time to time. the truth is, you don’t regret what happened between the two of you - you liked it, a lot. your only goal was to provoke winwin, to tease him, you didn’t expect him to unleash this new unknown by anyone side of his. one minute he was being his usual awkward self, and the next he was completely unpredictable and suddenly you couldn’t help it - you wanted to see more of what he’s capable of.
but on the other hand… you wish you could turn back time and not give in to the temptation so easily, because yangyang is the one who matters to you.
as you put down yangyang’s drink on the nightstand beside him you use the opportunity to take a quick peek at his face. he looks too calm which puts you on edge. you wonder how much exactly do you mean to him? the number of girls he hooks up with is higher than the number of guys you sleep with; you wonder if there’s a possibility of someone taking your place as his new favorite?
you erase the on going messy thoughts in your head and name the first person from your mutual circle that you can think of:
“johnny?”
“no,” yangyang drags out the word with a certain laziness to his tone, and that makes him seem like he’s getting bored of the way you insist on playing this game. “not even close.”
“i give up,” you sit down on the bed next to him and lean back against the cushions. as you wait everything to go downhill from here, you bend knees to your chest to at least feel comfortable in the heated moment.
what exactly are you giving up? hiding what really happened that night before the party, or… yangyang?
the question shoots through your train of thought so quickly you almost miss it.
but can you really ever give up on yangyang? maybe in another life, but you doubt you can do it in this one.
“i told you you’re not allowed to fuck any of my friends.” he speaks up after a pause of silence. “this was the only condition we had.”
“that’s not true,” you disagree, “we also said that we’re never going to act jealous and ask questions about other people we sleep with.” you resist to turn to him which is good, because you wouldn’t have enjoyed seeing that scornful laugh he makes after hearing you out.
“this isn’t jealousy, sweetheart.”
“then why do you care so much that i slept with him?” you ask, and your heart quickens as the seconds without an answer go by. “because it’s winwin?”
yangyang remains silent for a moment just staring in a blank dot on the wall. in comparison to him, you can’t stop staring at the chair placed in the corner to hold a pile of clothes. it makes you wonder how many girls have tossed their skirts and messy underwear there. you hate the idea of this and that’s why you never use that chair.
“you don’t know him like i do!” yangyang’s voice grows stronger. his hair tumbles down as he looks at his lap while the motions of his hand emphasise his frustrations. “you let him fuck you once - good, now he’s practically in love with you, and you’re only gonna make a fool of him, because he’s already obsessed with you and you hate when people obsess over you.”
“oh, please! don’t pretend to care about his feelings.”
somebody craving my love and attention to the point they can’t think of anything else sounds nice right now, you think to yourself.
you know the reason behind yangyang’s anger, and the words are stuck in your throat, threatening to come out any minute now. you wonder if you’re going to succeed in keeping them in. the idea of putting him in his place is tempting.
“i do, because he’s a good loyal guy.” his tone fades down to normal again. “and you… you’re me.”
you gaze into his face. yangyang tilts his head slightly in your direction, because he can clearly feel the cold intensity in your eyes that are suddenly focused on him after avoiding him for so long.
for an unknown reason there’s a spark in his gaze. like he’s proud of what he just said.
“do not compare me to yourself. we’re not the same.”
“c’mon, we’re like two sides of the same coin, y/n.” a lazy smile slowly spreads on his lips. one that doesn’t convey joy, but an annoying confidence. a smile that says: i’m aware of things that you’re not.
“bullshit,” you scoff, looking away.
your heart starts racing, and your mind starts overworking with all the things you want to say to him, but also with the enormous pile of things you still can’t find a way to explain to your own self; how are you going to tell him things you don’t even know the answers to? you discreetly press a hand to your cheek and realise you’re getting hot from your sudden infuriation.
a good loyal guy like winwin, or any good loyal guy, cannot be with a girl like you.
there’s one thing you know for sure though.
“who knows, you might be right, but there are a few things in which we obviously differ from each other.” you quickly put on a mask that hopefully gives you the look of someone that’s not that affected by this conversation. “confidence, for example. you hate the fact i hooked up with winwin only because you’re scared of people finding out that i went to fuck a loser like him instead of you. they’ll start talking and ask questions. is yangyang that bad in bed? why would she suddenly jump on winwin’s dick an—“
“you do have an imagination, i’ll give you that.” yangyang cuts you off.
“i’m over this.” you put an end to the conversation, and you’re just about to jump off the bed when yangyang’s hand pulls you in. “what do you want?” you mumble with a frown.
“kiss me,” he utters.
“i’m not in the mood,” you turn your head dismissively to the other side.
“baby,” he speaks again even more softly; almost in a completely different voice. “listen to me.”
you know it’s not a good idea, but you look back at him and allow him to run his hands along the bare skin of your arms.
“no one can have what we have.”
there were a few times when you’ve told yourself the same exact thing. it sounds so much better when he says it though - more real.
“and you can’t have what you share with me with another person,” he continues as his one hand goes up to cup your cheek. “same thing with me, even if i try i’ll never find in another girl what you keep on giving me.”
yangyang pulls you closer until you lay your head on his chest. his arms wrap around your figure, and you breathe in and out slowly. the sudden embrace loosens you up on the instant and your heart’s banging goes back to normal.
“let’s not complicate things, yeah?” this question makes his warm voice suddenly ring with a demanding colder thrill. it’s suddle, but you’ve known him for so long that you always notice things like that in his behaviour.
after he doesn’t hear a response from you, yangyang forces your chin up so he can look into your eyes and get it himself. you nod as his finger keeps your head up and soon enough his lips press against yours. how do you resist him?
kissing him always helps you to calm your mind, even when he’s the reason for it to be anxious in the first place. however, there’s one little conclusion that you came to; looks like you’re making progress…
yangyang is wrong about you. you are good and you are loyal, just for the wrong person. yet… here you are, deepening the kiss, because you’re not able to fight against your own true feelings.
after you adjust comfortably on his body, his hands begin to roam freely underneath your oversized tee and your familiar skin, warm against his palms, gets him excited. he takes it off so he can trace every inch without restrictions.
“that’s always better,” he utters close to your mouth.
a sharp breath slips from your lips when he swiftly switches the position by laying you on your back. your hands suddenly hang in the air when he locks your wrists together between his fingers.
“i already want to fuck this pussy again,” he says under his breath while sliding his free hand down your stomach. “just the way you want it.”
the thought of him inside you has you feeling a bit dizzy with the way the tip of his finger brushes against your clothed clit. it’s true, he always fulfills your desires the way you want, but you can’t stop your brain from going back to that experience with winwin… he’s the one who showed you that you can have your desires fulfilled in new exciting ways, and the most pleasing part about it is how unpredictable it felt with him; last but not least… how it felt that he performed the way he did because of you. you’re the main cause for his unrestrained self, and it results into him fulfilling your cravings the way you need them to be fulfilled.
you know you’re all that occupied his mind before and after that… and you know you still are, and you like it.
“come in!” yangyang shouts on top of you, but his eyes look at the half-open bedroom door.
you didn’t even hear the doorbell ringing from being completely lost in your own thoughts. your brows furrow questionably for an explanation, but you quickly receive one when winwin’s voice spreads throughout the apartment.
yangyang’s eyes bling with a daring smile while yours stare at him with lack of understanding.
“thought you’d like it if he comes over to hang out with us,” he says continuing to hold your hands together. “you’re friends now after all.”
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! please do not repost, copy or translate my works
! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed
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lil-frenchfri77 · 2 days
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Begin Again
Summary: Ever since Bella came back to Forks things between y/n and her boys have been different. Embry and Quil stopped answering phone calls and texts, they’ve even been avoiding her everytime she shows up at their house. So y/n does the only thing she can think to do, she latches onto Jacob just like Bella, and when he starts acting like Embry and Quil did, she makes the decision to not put so much effort into a friendship that is clearly one sided. But what happens one day when Sam’s pack is in town at the same time as y/n and her new friends and two certain boys imprint on their former best friend? And what happens when a former best friend doesn’t feel the same way?
Author’s Note: Hello to everyone that is reading this! This is my first ever time writing a fanfic, so (if you’re reading this) go easy on me. I would love to hear any feedback anyone might have in the comments. Super excited to be writing this Twilight fic, I’ve been inspired by others authors on here to take my own spin with Stephaine Myers characters, none of which I have any ownership to. This doesn’t really follow the Eclipse movie timeline, I'm making things up and stretching the timeline. So this is basically my own story just using Stephanie’s characters and some of her themes. There are also some other characters in here that I don’t have any rights to, I just thought it would be fun to put them in this story. I don’t know how long or short this is going to be, I might be able to get my ideas across quickly or this might turn into a few chapters. If you’ve read this far I love you and I really hope you like this!
(Also not beta read cause I can’t afford that)(Dividers from @enchanthings here on Tumblr)
Y/n/n means your nickname 
Embry Call x Fem!Swan!Reader x Quil Ateara
Slight Stiles Stlinski x Reader
Chapter 1 | Master list | Chapter 2
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Things had been weird lately, with Bella back in Forks, the Cullens, and your friends on the reservation. It seemed like everyday more and more of your friends were leaving to go hang out with Sam Uley and his pack of assholes. Now it was just down to you, Embry, Quil, and Jacob. It’s not like you’re not fine with that, Embry and Quil were your best friends ever. So you were fine with just the four of you hanging out all the time. But they got so hostile of you whenever Edward or one of his siblings came around to talk to you or Bella. 
It was getting absolutely exhausting trying to mediate things between them. You didn’t want to have to choose between your boys or Bella, but if it came down to it, your choice would always be your family and by extension, the Cullens. Although it seemed like you wouldn’t be getting a choice anyways when Embry and Quil stopped answering your texts and calls. They were never home when you came to visit and see what was happening to them. You had even tried asking Jacob if he knew anything but he swore up and down that he had no idea. 
You never expected to see them hanging out with Sam and his pack, jumping off that stupid cliff. You had never felt more betrayed. They could do whatever they wanted to but it hurt that they felt the need to drop you, without any kind of explanation and go hang out with the few people (at least you thought) you mutually disliked. It was obvious that they weren’t going to talk to you anymore so you did the only thing you could think of, you left them one last voicemail in hopes to get through to them. 
“Hey, it’s me. Um, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I still miss you guys. I saw you the other day, hanging out with Sam and his boys. It’s fine, I guess. I just thought that we were better friends than that. I mean, we’ve been inseparable since we were 6 but that’s not really the point of why I called.” You took a deep breath, trying to stop yourself from rambling some more. “I don’t really understand why you started hanging out with Sam but you have free will so I can’t stop you. But I miss you guys, and I still want to be friends. I don’t want to permanently lose you both because I can’t get over this petty dislike I have. So, call me back. Please. I want to talk about everything, but if you truly want nothing to do with me anymore then I won’t bother you again. This is goodbye, then.” 
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2 months later
Life wasn’t the easiest thing anymore. The boys never called you back, which you expected but it still stung. You still had Jacob, but it wasn’t the same. Jacob knew how much Embry and Quil’s choice had affected you, but there wasn’t much he could do to help you. He couldn’t just tell you that they were werewolves. So he did his best to try and raise your spirits. You were wholeheartedly grateful you had him during this time. 
Bella wasn’t much help either, she had just been broken up with and she was rotting away in her room. It appeared as though life was hating the Swan girls right now. As much as you wanted to wallow in your own pity you knew you had to be there for Bella. It’s not like the kids from school were going to help her, and honestly Bella wouldn’t want them to. So you spent months trying to help Bella, you didn’t want to lose your sister too. 
“Please, Bells. Just talk to me, tell me what’s going on in your head. I’ll do anything to help you, you just have to tell me. Tell me what I can do for you, I want to take all this pain away. I know this isn’t about me or dad but we’re so scared for you Bells. We love you so much.” You plead  with her. Tears welled up in your eyes when she turned away from you and went back to looking out of her window. You walked out of her room before she could see or hear you start to cry. 
“Whoa, slow down there kid. What’s happening?” Charlie stopped you in the hallway. His hands gripped your shoulders as they shook with silent sobs. 
“I can’t watch her wither away like that dad. She’s changing so much, and I don’t know how to help her. I hate Edward for what he’s putting her through and he’s not even here.” You spoke through your tears. Hiccuping in between every breath you took. 
“Y/n,” Charlie whispered, cupping your cheeks and making you look up at him, “We will get her through all of this okay kid? You and me will bring our Bella back. I know it.” He assured you as genuinely as he could. Truth be told, he had no idea if he would be able to get his daughters back to the girls they were before all this happened. He was grateful that you seemed to be okay so soon after the Embry and Quil situation. He didn’t know what he would do if both of his kids were nervous wrecks he couldn’t console. 
You nodded at him instead of answering back. You knew he was just trying to make you feel better. As much as you wanted to stay and keep trying with Bella you had to go to school. You couldn’t miss any more days this week or you would fall too far behind. 
After getting dressed you head downstairs where you say goodbye to your dad and meet Jacob who’s waiting for you outside. Lately he has taken to riding with you to school and then walking back to the reservation afterwards so you weren’t alone in the mornings. It was also a way for him to keep an eye on you and Bella. 
“You know, you don’t have to keep doing this Jake, I’m perfectly okay with getting to school by myself.” You told him today. It has been on your mind for a little while now. 
“I know,” he chuckles, “but I like to. Sometimes I don’t want to be alone in the morning so I make you suffer and force my presence on you. You’re going to have to get used to it.” Jacob simply shrugged. 
You get quiet after that and it worries him, but before he can ask you what’s wrong you beat him to it
“If you ever want to be friends with Sam and everyone else, please don’t cut me off too. I don’t think I could handle that.” Your hands grip the steering wheel tighter as you pull up to a red light. You can’t bring yourself to look over at him, as you not so patiently wait for his answer. 
“Y/n/n, I will never abandon you to be friends with Sam and his pack of douchebags. Okay? It's you and me against the world now.” He says in such a loving tone that it brings tears to your eyes for the second time that day. “Oh god, please don’t cry. I totally didn’t mean for that to happen.” 
Watching him panic while he tries to get you to stop crying does the trick, and you start to giggle at him. The rest of the drive to your school is silent with the occasional sing along moment to whatever is playing on the radio. When you finally arrive at school you're in a much better mood. 
You say goodbye to Jacob and head into the building, putting on your headphones and turning the volume all the way up. Someone knocks into you from the side sending your phone and headphones sliding across the floor. 
“Oh my god. I’m so freaking sorry!” Apologizes spill from the mystery boy's mouth as his friend, the one who pushed him into you, hurries to gather your things. He turns around to his friend on the floor and hisses out “Dude. What the hell??” 
It wasn’t surprising that you had to clue who these boys were. When you were friends with Embry and Quil you didn't really talk to the people you go to school with. “It’s fine.” You shrugged it off, not wanting to create a problem with these two. 
“No, its not fine. I totally didn't mean to smash into you. Scott’s just an asshole.” The boy throws his friend, Scott, under the bus. “I’m Stiles by the way.” 
“I didn't mean to push him into you miss, I didn't even see you there.” Scott pipes in, before quickly realizing what he said. “OH! I didn't mean I didn't see you at all, like you're just hard to see. Cause you’re not hard to miss. Not that you're always in the way! I've never seen you before so… I'm going to stop talking now.” Scott sheepishly tugs at the collar of his shirt. He seems to be sweating now. The incredulous look on your face seems to shut him up well enough for his friend, Stiles, to get a word in. 
“Wow dude, that was bad.” He’s trying to hold back his laughter now. “I think what he's trying to say is that he was so preoccupied with being an asshat that he wasn't paying attention to our surroundings.” Stiles says it a lot more eloquently than Scott had and it makes you giggle. 
They both stare at you like you've grown a second head. “That was the worst apology I have ever heard in my entire life.” You state after getting ahold of your laughter. “I’m y/n. I accept your terrible apology, and it's okay that you haven't seen me around before, because to be honest. I've never seen either of you around before either.” 
They let out a breath of relief and apologize one more time, sounding more coherent and sincere this go around. Scott proceeds to ask you what you have for the first period and surprisingly you have the same class as them, so you all walk to your class talking and getting to know each other. When you get to class you part ways to your seats with plans to meet after class. 
Your class schedules were pretty similar, especially yours and Stiles. In the classes you and Stiles shared you decided to move seats and sit next to each other, getting in trouble a few times for talking too much. You were getting along with him so well that he invited you to sit with him and his friends at lunch. And since you didn't have any other plans you took him up on his offer. 
When lunch time rolls around Stiles follows you to your locker where you get your food before heading to the cafeteria to meet up with his friends. The table quiets down when the two of you approach. “Y/n these are my friends: Lydia, Allison, Issac, Liam, Malia, Kira, and you've already met Scott.” One by one his friends say hello and introduce themselves to you. This wasn’t at all how you thought it was going to go. You assumed that they would only give you a cursory hi and go back to their conversations, but they seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you.
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penkura · 2 days
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Special [2/2]
Note: Second part from this request here! Sorry it took so long, I've been burnt out and just struggling to get things out lately. I'll have an update post later today, I think.
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Sanji really does feel awful when he realizes what’s going on with you, why you walked away and said you wouldn’t bother anymore. He hates how he’s made you feel, without even realizing it, but he never expected you would actually like him back. He’d resigned himself to the fact that, in his mind, you didn’t have any feelings for him nor would you ever. He’s used to it but for some reason it hit harder when he thought it was you that would reject him.
So he never said anything. He treated you normally, as normally as he could when he thought you were so perfect, but it seems like he's made a mistake. He’s made you think there’s something wrong with the way you look, when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Nami has heard it so much from him she’s started rolling her eyes while Sanji nearly cries to her about how much he adores you.
No, how much he loves you. He’s not told anyone else, only Nami, making her concern3d the moment she notices you avoiding and ignoring him. Once she gets Sanji to tell her what happened, she’s so close to smacking him upside the head for being so stupid.
“Of course she’s upset, you’re an idiot!”
Nami spends the better part of her afternoon berating Sanji, who cant even argue with her and just nods in agreement to everything she says. She stops him before he can even ask for ideas on what to do so he can make it up to you.
“No, you’re doing that yourself this time.”
It takes him most of the day to decide what he could do, what he could say, so it surprises you when he finally shows up after dinner that evening. He’s not looking you in the eyes, but he has your favorite flowers with him, it makes your heart ache a bit, believing he’s done this to every girl he’s ever upset in the past so you don’t move to take the flowers. You’re trying to stop your feelings, he's making it so hard though.
“Sanji—”
“[Y/N], I’m so sorry I made you feel like you aren’t special to me. I…it’s no excuse, but I didn’t think you’d ever have feelings for me like I do for you so I was trying to distract myself from you,” it starts to make sense, but you still don’t move, you’re not entirely sure you can trust him, “If you never forgive me I deserve it, but…can you give me a second chance? No, that’s not right…let me have the chance to make it up to you, and prove you’re so much more than to me than you think you are.”
You’re both quiet for a few moments, Sanji believes you’re completely done with him while you think it through.
A conflict between crewmates over something is always a possibility, but when it’s due to romantic feelings it feels weirdly worse to you. It feels like you’re letting it take over everything, but you’ve had these feelings for so long that you aren’t sure they’ll ever go away, even if you are trying to stop it. You still want to be his friend if nothing else, though it almost seems like he may want something more.
That’s something to discuss later.
Sanji starts to feel like things will get better when you reach out and take the flowers, not looking at him even when he looks up at you.
“…you can make my favorite dessert to start…and explain yourself better.”
The grin on his face makes you smile just a little bit in return, as Sanji nods and takes your hand to bring you to the kitchen.
“I’ll start right away while you put those in water! I’ll make you whatever drink you want too!”
“That sounds nice, Sanji…”
Before you get too much farther, Sanji stops and pulls you into a hug that you return.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t special to me…you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.” You’re going to choose to believe him, especially when Sanji goes the extra mile to make sure you know how much he loves you.
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itsnotbird · 3 days
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Orphic~ File 5
Taciturn (adj.); Silent; not talkative
Warnings: mentions of abuse, drugs, withdrawal, violence, language.
Bucky!Barnes x Fem!Reader
Previous part here
Masterlist
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“James.”
“It’s alright, James.”
He stirs, letting out a soft breath as you come into his vision. He’s not afraid of the hands that run through his hair, how your fingers gently stroke his jaw, showing him the softest comfort he’s ever known. He finds himself reaching for you, his hand twisting in your hair as his forehead presses to yours.
“Shh, I’m here now.” You soothe. “It’s okay.”
He shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut before they open, seeing you smile gently, laid beside him on the floor.
“No.” He mumbles, a hint of a whine trailing after the word.
“You’re a good man.” You promise him, nuzzling your nose to his.
“My hands are red.” He tells you, heart beat in his ears as your soft hand slips down his check to rest of the side of his neck.
“And yet, I trust them completely.” You whisper into his ear. “I could be good to you if you let me. Won’t you let me?”
As you slot your lips to his, you gasp in his air.
Bucky wakes up with a start, chest heaving. His eyes look around the bare apartment. It’s empty as always.
Hands pressed to his eyes, he mutters to himself, his teeth grit.
“Get out of my head.”
“Get out of my head!”
- - - -
You suddenly understand why people can’t stop addiction.
This feeling is comparable to physical abuse, something you know much about.
By some miracle, you’ve managed to get out of bed and shower. You put on your own clothes, the things you yourself picked out. It’s a good feeling, but as you walk to the kitchen, you think your teeth might just crack.
Coffee might help.
“Hello, Blue.”
You jump, turning to see Vision behind you.
You give a simple smile, then wave your hand up for a coffee mug to come into your grasp from the cabinet.
“Your abilities are very fascinating.” He states. “Have you tried to use them on yourself? To get rid of that feeling you have?”
You toss him a look over your shoulder.
Of course you tried. Unfortunately, the people who cursed you with these powers made sure you couldn’t inflict them on yourself, almost like a safety precaution so you wouldn’t end yourself when they weren’t looking.
You lean on the kitchen island and sip the coffee, cringing at the bitterness. The sugar jar drifts over, you scoop two spoonfuls in. You drink the coffee quickly, hoping it’ll settle you.
“I understand your urge to remain silent.” Vision says. “The others might find it odd but rest assured, I do not criticize you.”
You muster up the best smile you can, then pat his hand. In your opinion, if anyone was odd, it would be the one that is a large computer chip who looks like a dignified gentleman with blonde hair.
You respect his kindness.
Taking bland tasting wafers with you, you wander the halls, take the elevator to different parts of the compound. To your surprise, you don’t run into many people, the agents and workers that you do come across, they don’t speak to you.
After about twenty minutes of taking in your surroundings, you come across a file room on the third floor, meaning it was restricted access.
You jab your finger against the key pad, it blinks at you angrily.
With one simple flick of your hand, the door creaks open.
You laugh.
Wasn’t this supposed to be a high security facility?
You shut the door behind you and curiously look over the filing cabinets. They’re labeled all differently, separated into mission reports and previous alliances or enemies. You open the one that’s labeled ‘Tony’s Cult’, assuming that meant the information on the Avengers.
You bring a stack out and sit comfortably on the floor. Like a good book, you dive in, getting lost in abilities, missions, back stories.
It might be an invasion of privacy, but they all read your file so you assume you can read theirs. You learn birthday’s, quirks that are noted in, who has confirmed kills and who doesn’t. You laugh at the file of Peter Parker, because there’s not much there besides everything that screams ‘child with odd ability’.
You enjoy Steve’s, because it reminds you of the children’s books you read hundreds of times while in The Ring. He’s the hero, the one that saves the day. He is everything you were told you were going to be if you killed a man you didn’t know. He was given a gun for the good of America, you were given powers for the good of a rich family.
James Buchanan Barnes
‘The Winter Soldier’
Your fingers pause before they open the dusty folder.
This felt more like the stories they told you to scare you into behaving. This was your story.
Confirmed kills…
Hydra…
…war…
…Bucky and Steve…
…prisoner…
…brain washed…
…Deadly, be advised…
…assassin…
Your brows furrow, all these words spin in your mind. Holding up his military id photo, you smile at his charming face in a sergeant uniform. You compare it to the stone cold expression of The Winter Soldier, and determine it’s two different people you’re looking at.
There’s a rather awful photo of his left shoulder, how the skin is scarred and mangled as it meets silver metal.
You reach to feel the brand on the back of your neck, your nails scrape it.
- - - -
Natasha knocked on your bedroom door, only to be met with silence. Figuring you’re eating breakfast, she searches for you in the kitchen, only to find Steve and Sam play fighting with wooden spoons.
“Where’s Blue?” She asks the two boys who quickly drop their pretend weapons.
Steve clears his throat. “Asleep still, maybe.”
Nat shakes her head. “I was just at her room.”
“You try the MedBay? Doesn’t she get poked around this time?” Sam asks.
“Her infusions are done, that’s why I’m concerned. Last thing we need is an important asset to be passed out somewhere.” She stresses just as Wanda joins them.
“What’s wrong?” She asks.
“Have you seen Blue?” Steve asks.
Wanda shakes her head.
They split up, searching every room.
You put the files back the best you could after the shaky feeling became too much. You wrap your arms around your cramping sides, somehow making it back to the living space where you collapse on the couch.
“Jesus, where have you been?” Nat asks as she comes in to find you, but her concern grows as she takes in your pale expression.
“What’s wrong?” She comes to your side, soon joined by Steve and Wanda. “How do you feel?”
I’ve never been better.
You refrain from rolling your eyes, you continue to shiver.
“Bruce said she has to let the shakes run its course, they can’t keep giving her that stuff.” Nat states to the two that join as you roll onto your side.
“Here, let me.” Wanda comes forward, you see the red glow at her fingers and shuffle away in uncertainty.
“Blue, this won’t hurt.” She promises, placing here fingers an inch from your forehead as she tries to figure out what you need.
“She’s cold.”
Steve is quick to sit beside you, pulling you to lay on his lap.
Wanda’s face twists in the agony you feel. “There’s nothing we can give her?”
“Uh…baby aspirin?” Steve offers.
You try to think of something that has felt worse, maybe the first injection of the serum, how it burned in your veins. That felt pretty bad. But though you’ve experienced multiple parts of hell, this was certainly new.
“They’ve lowered the dosage for a month, should it be effecting her this bad?” Steve asks, his hand on your shaky shoulder.
Nat comes back with a wet rag, wiping your clammy forehead. “This isn’t a drug you buy from a dealer in his mom’s basement, Steve, this stuff could kill somebody with a normal system. They’ve been giving it to her like candy for fifteen years, she’s become dependent on it and now her body is trying to figure out how to function.”
Steve takes the rag and keeps it to your skin as he grumbles. “You could’ve just said yes.”
Your head lolls, a sort of hallucination wiping over your vision. You groan with discomfort.
“I can put her to sleep, maybe she’ll sleep it off?” Wanda offers.
Sure, sleep off the deadliest withdrawal known to man.
Despite your doubt, you feel a relief wash over you as Wanda shuts your eyes.
Oh…this is nice.
- - - -
At some point, Steve left you when he was sure you wouldn’t wake. Covered in a blanket, you lay peacefully on the sofa.
That’s how Bucky finds you.
He wasn’t expecting to come across you, but his feet are now planted as he stares down at you. It’s a bitter feeling in him, you sleeping soundly, having no idea of the anguish you’ve caused him. He could hate you for it, he probably should.
…but…
He just wants to see, just wants to answer one of the many questions he has. Carefully, he reaches for the hand that rest on your chest.
It doesn’t shock him like before.
It just makes him angry, actually. It felt the same as in that terror from the night, that oddly soothing touch that will never be meant for him.
He drops your hand, huffing to himself.
Somehow, he feels worse now.
“Dude.”
He snaps his head up at the voice, seeing Sam stand there with raised brows.
Fuck.
“How long have you been there?” Bucky asks, swallowing nervously.
“Uh, long enough to see you go all creepy stalker mode.” Sam responds, coming closer. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Bucky answers quickly and defensively.
“Didn’t look like nothing.”
He glares, then moves away from you and closer to Sam. “Drop it, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He bites.
Sam’s eyes widen. “Do you even know what you’re talking about?”
“…No. I don’t know.”
As Bucky storms off, Sam is hot on his heels.
“You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“I feel like you want to talk about it.”
Bucky turns around swiftly. “You’re gonna be feeling something else if you don’t lay off.”
Sam raises his hands in defense. “Fine, suffer in silence, you damn cyborg.”
Bucky desperately tries to remember the rules his therapist gave him, more specifically rule number two.
Nobody gets hurt.
He has the urge to break that one.
Despite his pace, Sam keeps up with him.
“You know what, I get it. I get it. She’s mysterious, a little weird, like you, and she’s gorgeous. Of course you’d be obsessed with her.”
Bucky’s metal hand clenches in irritation. “I am not obsessed with her.”
Sam laughs over dramatically, clapping a hand onto Bucky’s shoulder. “That’s funny, that’s really good, you should be a comedian.”
Bucky zeros in on the contact he makes. “Remove your hand before I do it for you.”
Sam snatches it away. “You’re a little aggressive, you need to have an emergency session with your Doc?”
He manages to make it to his room without putting Sam through a wall. He thinks that’s improvement.
Leaning against the window, he rubs his head and tries to get those words out of his mind.
He wasn’t obsessed with you, just mildly interested in how you’re stitching yourself into his already fried brain. Of course you weren’t doing it on purpose, but you were doing it and it made him feel like he was slowly going crazy.
He does those stupid breathing exercises Raynor told him to do, cracks his neck, then leaves for the training room where Steve was expecting him.
Next part
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Good afternoon everyone, I'm here and ready to go. Thank you to @tailsbeth-writes and @thighzp for the tags. I started a new Wip, because I have no restraint, but at least I'm working on most of the fic's equally, so you get a snippet from Hairstylist Henry and a peak at the new wip. Under the cut because it's long and a lil spicy
------------- Hairstylist Henry and his (least) Favorite Client
“Hazza, your strumpet is texting the salon automated messenger.” The sigh that Henry heaved was loud enough to be heard a state over. Of course, Alex was texting the salon, why wouldn’t he be? And of course, Pez had to know about it, because both of them had the booking app on their phone. “He couldn’t bother to confirm his appointment, but he can text us to tell me that a single hair is out of place?” the blond complained, taking out his phone, broom handle resting against the opposite shoulder. “That’s not why he’s texting, poppet.” The text that Henry saw when he opened the app was simple, one reply to the receipt and total, to the automated ‘thanks for visiting’ message: ‘Is this your personal phone or is it the company’s number?’ Against all better judgement, Henry inhaled deeply and typed a reply: ‘Hi Alex, this is the number for the salon’s booking service. If you would like to reach me personally you can at 212-924-7178, thanks! See you next time, have a good evening.’ “I saw that!” Percy called from the front of the salon as Henry finished sweeping up.
(no one text that number i made it up but it's probably real please thank you) -----
SNEAKPEAK AT NEW PWP WIP
“I want to fuck you,” Henry panted into that kiss. “You wanna top? I mean, I’m down, just clarifying,” the brunette pulled back with a grin, looking over his boyfriend. “Yes, but- well..” for a moment Henry seemed to fumble with articulating his own words, “I also want to bottom, but I want to top too. Can we do both?” “We can do anything you want, baby,” Alex’s hands found the blond’s waist, kneading at soft skin and gently pulling their hips together, “Actually, I mean that. I’m so proud of you, the way you stood up for yourself today. I think you deserve anything you want,” he hummed, leaning in and pressing soft kisses to the blond’s jaw, “So you’re in charge. This dick is yours; this ass is yours, and this mouth is yours. You use me however you want, sweetheart. I don’t like it, I’ll pull a red or yellow, otherwise, you call all the shots. How does that sound, your majesty?” “I think,” Henry began before reaching between them and wrapping his hand around his boyfriend’s cock, “That’s an excellent idea,” he purred, “Come on!” That was instantly followed by Henry walking toward the bed, tugging the brunette along, gently of course, but very much by his cock. Alex laughed, and waddled, but aside from a ‘hey!!’ put up no protest; perhaps because he secretly loved it.
YAY TAGS (no pressure tags darlings)
@taste-thewaste @eusuntgratie @henrysfox @mikibwrites
@softboynick @catdadacd @sheepywritesfics @henryspearl
@basil-bird @caressthosecheekbones @henfox @onthewaytosomewhere @anti-homophobia-cheese + literally anyone else I'm sleepy and forgot, or anyone who sees this and wants to tag me, I love reading yall's stuff. <3
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laspocelliere · 3 days
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Day Twenty: Duel
A lifetime in Ishgard had prepared Aymeric for colossal, impressive rooms. When he stepped into the palace of the Dawnservant, however, he couldn’t help the way he looked up, and up, and up, the enormous receiving chambers seeming to have no ceiling at all for how high it went. Torchlight flickered against the warm stone walls, and at the far end, the Dawnservant himself had sat, comfortable and patient, waiting for his invited guest to approach.
Gulool Ja Ja was a calm, authoritative figure on his throne, fingers drumming absently on the armrests, waiting with a bemused, parental smile as Aymeric came forward. A far cry, to be sure, from the cold, ultimate power that his father had once held in Ishgard, and the long, sharp shadows that he cast upon his unwanted son.
The Dawnservant, by contrast, seemed to look at him fondly, even without knowing him.
“So, stranger,” Gulool Ja Ja began, spreading his hands out in welcome. “I hear you have come to our shores in search of my daughter’s champion.”
How strange, to have her referred to in that way, Aymeric thought to himself as he tried to collect his words properly. The woman he had devoted life and limb to, the one who had his sword and his heart in equal measure, summed up in a manner that addressed neither her accomplishments nor her life at all. A handful of words that had nothing to do with her, and the impossibility that she was, and yet – it was all that anyone here knew her as. 
That, at least, was by design. Before she’d left for Tural, they’d discussed it at length. There was a new danger that came with her reputation after Ultima Thule; in particular, her apparent resurrection following the deliverance of the Star. Threats may have been eliminated, but that type of legendary status meant an open door for another instance to try and eliminate her now that she had, in theory, ‘let her guard down’. 
She would go, but she wouldn’t fight. She would watch, but she wouldn’t interfere. She needed to keep an eye on proceedings, that much they agreed; but nothing in Tural was worth the risk of drawing attention to what – and what – she really was.
Aymeric met the Dawnservant’s discerning gaze, and didn’t falter. “I am.”
For a moment, there was silence. Then, like sunlight breaking over the sea, the Head of Resolve’s face broke out into a toothy, crooked, delighted grin.
“I see you, stranger,” he said, laughing merrily around his words. “No stranger at all! You are her consort.”
Bemused, Aymeric bowed before Tural’s exalted ruler. “I don’t think I’ve quite heard it put that way before,” he said, straightening. Amusement danced in his bright blue eyes. “I don’t dislike it.”
“She never said a word!” The Dawnservant slapped his knees happily, pushing himself to his feet. “I would have had a proper welcome for you, had I known.”
Aymeric’s smile softened, and the expression that had given him away to the sharp-eyed ruler was back when he spoke of his wife. “She’s not one to speak of her personal life.”
“Nor you either, I reckon!” Gulool Ja Ja looked down at the elezen man, seeming to size him up anew. “I am very curious to meet the man who our lauded champion has aligned me with.” With the light of a new idea, the Dawnservant’s toothy smile twisted ever-wider. “You know, I got to know her by challenging her to a duel.”
“Is that so?” Aymeric took stock of the leader before him; his power, his legacy, his considerable strength. “And did she land you on your back?”
The Dawnservant’s laughing guffaw was so boisterous, it nearly hit the rafters high above. 
“She did at that!” He admitted cheerily. “Not in my lifetime have I come across such a worthy opponent. She is strong and capable, your warrior.”
“Wife.” Aymeric’s correction was quiet, but the pride he held at being able to hold such a word in his mouth was something he couldn’t hide. “She’s my wife.”
Gulool Ja Ja’s smile didn’t falter, for all that it softened.
“Well then,” he said, slamming his fist into his opposite palm decisively. “If that is the case, I think you and I will need to duel as well, stranger. I have grown rather fond of our champion, you see. I would need to see that she has chosen herself a worthy consort.”
The delight in the Dawnservant’s tone was contagious, and Aymeric found himself smiling. “I would be honoured.”
“Wonderful! I will summon you again, and mind you bring everything you have; I will be holding you to a very high standard, stranger.”
“Aymeric,” he offered, bowing once more, Ishgardian courtesy running deep in his veins. The Dawnservant chuckled, and ducked his head reverently in return.
“Until we meet again, Aymeric.”
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luckydicekirby · 7 hours
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would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite
okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!
(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)
this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.
the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!
One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.
For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.
oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.
ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:
Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.
and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:
Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 
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wsdanon · 3 days
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hello everyone I made a little poll about this wip on my alt blog, so here it is \o/!! fic for some of the shotgunners (Matt, Felps, Guaxi) except I don’t feel like I’ve watched enough to write about this confrontation + resolution correctly, so just take this little lead up thing I wrote because I really wanted to write something for them…
reblogs appreciated, hope you enjoy \o/!!
Well, Felps is now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Although using rock to describe the demon pathetically clinging to his arm—who made himself smaller just so he could stare up at Felps with wide eyes—doesn’t seem entirely accurate. But it is working. Even if it makes it a little hard to see what he’s signing. 
“Matt…” Felps sighs. How to put this? “I want to stay on good terms with Guaxinim.” 
“It’ll be fine!” Matt insists. “You two have already fought, right? Just say it’s a misunderstanding similar to that if it goes wrong.” 
“He might be too paranoid for that, you know?”
“But we’ve already all investigated together and he was fine then! It doesn’t need to be anything big—just, you know, that you trust me.” Matt pauses, seeming to consider something. “And… maybe that you don’t think people will think badly of him for talking with a demon?”
“Ah, Matt… you’re pushing it a little, yeah?” Felps sighs. “But, fine. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you!” 
Matt uncurls himself and throws his arms around Felps in a tight hug. Honestly—he is taller than Felps. That crouched position to make himself look smaller couldn’t have been very comfortable for long. Or maybe it’s fine for demons—he doesn’t know. 
Out of Felps and Guaxinim it’s almost funny that it’s shaken out like this. But he’s never been a very good Saint. Does Matt appreciate the irony, too? 
“Okay, okay.” He hugs Matt a little tighter before trying to pull away. For a moment—he doesn’t think Matt is going to let him. “I’ll go talk to him now. But don’t expect it to work, okay?”
“Of course.” Matt smiles—and how can Guaxinim say with so much confidence that the man in front of him is ugly? It’s certainly not true. Not in Felps’ opinion, at least. “Thank you for trying, though.” 
“Of course, of course, it’s no problem.”
He does… sort of trust Matt. Compared to everyone else on the island that isn’t in their group, he could even say he trusts Matt the most. If someone suggested he be added to their chat, Felps wouldn’t argue. They are already kind of investigating with him, anyway. 
He has no idea what’s going on with Matt and Bagi, but maybe if this thing with Xinim and Matt smoothes over he will get an invite. If Meiaum has any reservations about it Felps is sure he’ll easily be able to convince those away. 
With another thank you, and a goodbye, Matt runs off. Leaving Felps with the mammoth task of somehow convincing Guaxinim to be less harsh with Matt. 
“Where are you?” He messages Guaxi. “I want to talk.”
Guaxinim sends his location. With a belated, “Everything okay?” 
“Just have some information.” Felps replies. 
Then he plugs the coordinates into his map and stops focusing on messaging in favour of getting there as quick as possible. It’s starting to turn night, and Felps doesn’t want to deal with the myriad of monsters that will shortly appear. At least he seems close. 
He has no idea how he’s going to do this. Guaxinim worries too much. Or maybe not too much—just… too explosively. After all, Felps is fairly certain he does like Matt, he just… doesn’t want to be seen with him?
With every passing day back on this earth he understands the people on it less and less. 
At least the chaos they create is entertaining, but it does beg the question—should Felps reveal what he is? Will that calm Guaxinim’s mind? He really didn’t want anyone to know, but maybe…?
Matt knows. Matt definitely knows. The first time they met Matt had looked at him like he could see more—like he could see the haze Felps himself sees when he looks in mirrors—red eyes wide and glittering with wonder as he called him Saint Felps after Felps had introduced himself. 
And that’s already one person more than he would like to know. 
But if Guaxinim is worried about Matt’s demon status reflecting badly on him, he shouldn’t have to. As much as Felps isn’t good at being a Saint, Matt isn’t good at being a demon, either. Anyone on this island will easily see that. 
And somehow he has to convey that without revealing what he is. Because, no, thinking about it—two people knowing is quite enough, thank you. And Guaxinim has sold him out before… maybe. Felps is still unclear on the truth of that situation, but he’s willing to put it mostly behind him. 
Mostly. 
He doesn’t want this information getting out, and Guaxinim can’t be trusted with that right now. He’ll save it for if things really start going wrong. 
Guaxinim jumps out in front of him with a hello on his hands, and Felps barely notices the latter—too busy yelping and recovering from the fright. 
“Hey, Felps.” He repeats, smiling a little too much like he finds this funny. “You okay?”
“What a scare.” Felps lets his hands shake as he signs it, then he weakly pushes at Guaxinim. “For the love of god, Xinim, don’t do that!” 
“Hey, it’s not my fault, right?” Guaxinim complains. “You were too deep in thought—how else was I supposed to get your attention?”
And… Well, he’s right, but Felps isn’t going to admit that. 
“Listen…” Then he sighs, and looks around, and beckons Guaxinim a few steps to the left. “Come here, come here—it’s too exposed there.”
“Okay, okay.” Guaxinim signs as he follows after Felps with a laugh. 
Good. He doesn’t want this to come off like a serious conversation. 
…Even though they have been having serious conversations like this, too. But it at least adds some levity to the situation. 
———
this is about as far as I dare write with how little I currently know… hope you enjoyed though \o/!!
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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jemmo · 1 year
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i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.
bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.
bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.
but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.
and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.
#I did a rant#I’ve done a lot of rants actually they’re all just sitting in my notes bc they all got a little too much#my thoughts are a literal mess and I am still struggling to put them in all the right words#mostly bc the way jaewon is behaving and not to be too overinvolved is very reminiscent of *me*#and so watching him shut down and remove himself knowing it’s something i do is hard and frustrating#and I did a whole rant about it but I realised I need to separate myself from the character to be able to talk about it#so yeah#I really wanted to bring up jihyun tho#bc he presents as so strong in these two eps but you cannot argue against what he’s been through and the effect that would have on anyone#and try to see it from a perspective where we don’t know what jaewon is going through and just see his actions and realise how much he has#messed with jihyun again not at all on purpose but that 1000 to nothing jihyun went through from the trip to the accident and it’s aftermath#that’s a fucking lot#and it’s interesting that we talk so much about people putting themselves first and not putting up with shit#like I think of simon from young royals and how we celebrate him saying no to being willhelms secret as an act of self-respect#but bc we understand and empathise so much with what jaewon is going through it’s hard to make yourself even consider jihyun#but when you do see it from his side you realise it’s a lot for him too#and that you wouldn’t hate him or misunderstand him if he was mad at jaewon#and with *spoliers* is there only so much he can take of jaewon’s self sabotage hurting him until even he and his developed strength and#confidence is broken by it#he can only keep fighting for jaewon for so long and idk if it’s gonna be a case of jaewon coming round too little too late#but I just hope this isn’t easy which sounds mean I don’t want either of them to suffer more#but this isn’t a kiss and get back together and all is good#I think jaewon needs to see the bad he’s caused#bc it’s only by owning up to that that he can ground himself in the moment and see that he’s part of this world and can’t separate himself#from it and jihyun also needs to realise that no matter his headspace jaewon does want space and when someone is self sabotaging you still#have to listen and respect what they’re saying distance means distance and as much as you want to fight against it you can’t be responsible#for making it work#agh I need to stop rambling bc it’s so messy and complex and I just absolutely ADORE the level to which this situation has so many emotional#moving parts and how ultimately blameless they both are and how it makes it so much harder to see a way out it’s fantastic#the eighth sense
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designernishiki · 1 year
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You asked for a fic rec so I’ll toss this one at ya: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46767358?view_full_work=true Stick through the formatting for the characterization, tone, and really the whole vibe of this fic. I haven’t been able to get the bathroom call between Daigo and Majima out of my head for weeks since I read it with how naturally it all flows. My own little Daigo characterization booklet to review when I feel like I need a refresher on him.
so I may have stayed up until 6am reading this (would’ve slept earlier but I couldn’t stop reading it) and hgggahaghhhhaggahshhhhhhhh that was one of the most well-characterized fics I’ve ever read what the fuck. like the differences in how each character speaks (both tone-wise and in differing levels of authenticity) and how they speak to specific others (the daigo and majima dyanmic specifically- how they actually take into account how long they’ve been working really closely- SO good), the mental anguish and chaos vs the overwhelming emptiness of being daigo dojima but no longer The 6th Chairman Daigo Dojima……….I could keep going but I think you get it.
tbh I’d been wanting to write something exploring a similar set of dynamics/situation (post-kiryu’s fake death, interactions with haruka, daigo, and/or majima specifically, reflecting on his shortcomings while acknowledging the heavy Grief left behind) but now I’m like. well I still could but this was so well written in regards to daigo and haruka that, as far as something between those two goes, I don’t feel the need to.
thanks for the recommendation! my brain is broken now (affectionate)
#rambling#fics#fic rec#there’s a little bit of minedai in there via flashback but I don’t know if im gonna put this in my minedai tag cause it’s really#not tecccchnically a minedai fic. it’s just. a daigo-centric fic/study more than anything#my favorite more lighthearted moment in this story is daigo talking to haruka in Okinawa after like 3 years and hearing about her#‘situationship’ with yuta and how it’s just more convenient to tell people they’re a legit couple and daigo’s immediate response on impulse#is just. ‘that must be nice. I mean that you can do that. if it were two guys or two girls or something you wouldn’t be able to do that.’#or something like that and simultaneously sweating because he has no fucking idea why he’s saying that and can’t find a way to abort#my only critique is that I was hoping he’d come out to her (probably on the scene after that where it’s just them sitting on the deck)#and it wouldn’t even have to be a Big Thing it’s just. it felt like it was leading up to that (whether coming out on purpose or on accident)#but ah well#don’t get me wrong I think she could probably figure it out on her own based on the fact that daigo’s never had a girlfriend to her#knowledge and is in his 40s + that weird little gay tangent he went on earlier out of the blue#if anyone could pick it up though context clues and hints it’d be haruka and akiyama The Investigators. and oh no. looks like that’s#exactly who he’s stuck with#id love to see an update cause of this oh mannnn#(if anyone could pick it up it’d be those two + also majima but I kinda figured at this point majima would almost certainly already know#they seem like they have a mutual (possibly unspoken) recognition of one another on that front. based a little on what daigo says about#‘when kiryu says jump you say how high’ and majima floundering a little before admitting ‘you know I can’t resist those big#brown puppydog eyes…’ like i know that’s not too on the nose but it’s enough of a casual acknowledgement to Me that it feels… idk it just#feels like they Know. it just makes sense. and I hope they do cause it’d feel a little less lonely and terrifying to be gay in that world if#that were the case. yet another thing making it feel like majima’s a way more viable parent figure to him than kiryu fr fr……#anyway I could keep going forever so I should probably stop#I’ve never considered how daigo would interact with akiyama and now they’ve got me intrigued. I really hope they update this with something#daigo#I really think a chunk of this fanbase (particularly The Queers) understand daigo as a character better than rgg studio does. and cares more
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myname-isnia · 9 months
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Idk why I thought the new year would suddenly bring immense change to me as a person, it was such a childish belief, I can’t believe I let myself fall for it. The years go by but I remain the messed up anxious wreck who starts crying the second she’s left alone with her thoughts. The new year won’t change anything, nothing will
#just look at me#I could very possibly graduate from school in half a year and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life#I can’t take the slightest bit of criticism or else I’ll feel like shit for a week#I need to be staring at a screen at all hours of the day because if I don’t distract myself I will break down#I’m so obsessed with pleasing people that when I can’t fulfill the simplest of requests I want to die#indulging in hobbies. things that are supposed to be enjoyable. feels like hell for me#through all my years of creating there is only one piece I can honestly say I like and am proud of#and I haven’t even touched writing since because I’m scared of not being able to reach that high again#art comes a little easier but I’m only capable of one or two pieces a month#I don’t have anyone irl whom I trust. I’m so lonely that I literally have imaginary friends. at 17#and I still haven’t figured out my gender or what pronouns I prefer. I don’t even like the name I picked for myself#I could go on forever#I don’t know how anyone puts up with me. I know I wouldn’t if I had the choice#I keep going on and on about how I want to get better. I don’t want to be so miserable all the time#but I just don’t know how#I try to be kinder with myself and I’ve been pretty successful at it but.. it doesn’t help#I can be soft and gentle all I want. it won’t make everything else go away#so there’s nothing left for me to do but cry all alone in my apartment at 2 a.m#I guess
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