#I don’t like remembering that the prologue starts with everyone in them

[onyourhyuck]

Perfume. | J.JH

— Prologue: “I like the taste of your lips on mine.”

— Summary: Where you are a witch who makes potions and you get werewolf!Jaehyun obsessed with your perfume scent.

— Genre: Romance. Smut. Fantasy. Witch!y/n x Werewolf!jaehyun. Minors dni. Big Dick Jaehyun agenda. Vaginal penetration. Makeout sessions. Hickeys. ‘Markings’. Pinning. Biting. A little overstimulation play here. Massive breeding kink from Jaehyun in this fic.

— Notes: This is a long fic.

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It all started with the city werewolves have moved into the local town outskirts the city which started the whole fantasy community to go on an uproar gossiping spree. You couldn’t really understand their motive as to why they were moving so suddenly from where they belong. As far as your knowledge extends (which is quite long and valuable) you remember the city of Seoul being the werewolf territory. But these werewolves have moved to a neutral zone where every living creature lives. Mostly humans surround this zone so you had to be awfully discreet about your race and who you actually are. Thank god for human disguised am i right?

You wouldn’t be able to spot out a werewolf normally you would have to take a really good look at them when the days are on their full moon cycle, then they are easier to spot out as if they were a stuck out thumb. For a vampire it’s harder now too. Vampires come to your shop for the same problems; blood bags, thirst suppressants drugs or a ring casted with sunlight protection so they can walk in the daylight when it’s sunny.

You make potions for a living and many humans would mistake your shop to be a Halloween costume store because of your awful stereotypical witch designs but everyone who knows who you truly are would come over speaking in a different tone. Today was a sunny day and it was peacefully pleasant. Your assistant Winwin comes out with a box of your new empty potion glasses.

“These should last you a month exactly Y/n.” Winwin says with a little laugh coming out and you look at the potion glasses inspecting them. Checking the size and the quantity they will provide. You like to be fair. You don’t like to cheat and make someone’s potion smaller and someone else have bigger amount.

You nod approving. “These ones are good. They are all equal.” Winwin was relieved to say the least you tend to be very picky and hard to impress. There is always something wrong in your eyes and you tend to overanalyse. This might be a witch thing but he certainly doesn’t have that trait. Winwin walks away with the box. “Put them in the back okay?” You shout at Winwin going to the back to put the potions there. Your head turns around when the shop’s bell rang on the front every time someone comes in.

It alerts your focus on the customer who walks in surprisedly you stay there a little stunned by how they walk in freely in such a view. The man your eyes were practically stuck on worshipping was a paler man with round eyes enough to pierce your soul and take it away. The blonde locks rest tightly flowing with the wind your fan provides in the corner. He wore this long cardigan and a plane white tank top with a pair of jeans that suit his muscular thighs well. He turns to you waving a hand in your face wondering what you’re zoning out for. “Hello? Miss? Are you going to reply?”

I lay there shaking my head readjusting my eyes before i glance up fumbling my words. “Oh right… what were you saying?”

Jaehyun chuckles seeing you become so flustered. He wasn’t expecting the local witch here to be kinda cute. “I am here for werewolf suppressants.” You watch him checking him up and down. ‘Oh he’s a werewolf.’ You weren’t expecting him to be a werewolf but you start to pity his kind. They have it rough. Rougher than vampires that’s for sure.

He saw you turning your back to him to go and check the potion bottles that have all sorts of different colourful liquids and shining by the reflection to the light. As he saw you checking for the werewolf suppressants it gave him enough time to look and wander around your shop. It gave him the creeps a little he wouldn’t lie; he never came to a witch shop before but something within his body was telling him go and grab those suppressants because last time… it didn’t go so well. Jaehyun rubs the back of his neck staring down at a mannequin. “Why does she have a mannequin here…” he mutters thinking.

Your ears perk up at his words in the far distance and you quote on quote tell out. “That Mannequin is alive! I don’t recommend touching it. It can get pretty offended easily.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he pulls his hand away from touching its shoulders and as he was about to walk away the Mannequin twists the head around staring him down. He jumps away yelling out. “Holy fucking-shit it moved.” He moves away to the front as your attention leans on the man again when he comes forward. He breathes a little more heavy exhaling out the stressful fright he just had.

Your eyebrows rose up seeing him become shaken up. “I told you it was alive.” You seethe with a smile through and he turns to you. “Do you have any suppressants?” He’d ask and you turn away your gaze shaking your head. “I don’t seem to have any made because not many werewolves live here and they never come to ask me. You are a first.” You stated and Jaehyun’s eyes wonder to look at your face nodding slowly.

“But I can make you suppressants if you stay for a bit?” You offered seeing how the man looked doomed for his life. You weren’t expecting him to look thankful as if you saved his life right now. Jaehyun nods with a grin. “Please that would be life changing honestly.”

You couldn’t help but wonder if this was his first heat or if this was just something he was avoiding getting because there weren’t many local witches in the city? You could only wonder. Jaehyun follows you to the back room in your shop revealing a spacious working place with a brewing stand and a cauldron with nothing in it yet but only boiling water. He couldn’t help but admire your workplace it had every kind of Ingredients a witch can ask for you it was pretty impressive collection. You stop at the brew standing humming. “So how long do you want these suppressants to last for?” You would ask and the young werewolf glances to you. “Only twenty four hours will do.”

You nod. “Okay. So why are you suddenly here and not the city then? Just wondering because its pretty deprived here from your people. There’s a bunch of humans, a few vampires and a few witches only living here.”

You work as you spoke despite not watching him Jaehyun kept on watching you and something was soon pulling him closer as he took a deep inhale through his nostrils catching onto a very sweet scent like a perfume. He fidgets behind you approaching closer. “My pack wanted to get away from the city life. I had no choice but to follow. You know how it goes.” He paused. “Your perfume smells nice by the way.” It definitely caught you by surprise how well his words rang in your ear suddenly and you turn around noticing he was closing the space between you when you were not looking at him.

Your humane eyes widen as you felt your cheeks grow red and you look down at the brewing stand that was forming the solution so you can boil it inside the cauldron after. “Thanks. It’s a new… perfume i made to keep away bugs in the summer heat. I really hate bugs.” You murmur. You turn the conversation around quickly staring at him — your eyes were locked together if they were meant to be watching each other as if you were both longing for another.

Your voice became smaller than before and somehow all your confidence went down the bin where you couldn’t get it back. Everything about this man in front of you was pulling you away from things you didn’t know you were attracted to but here you are rediscovering how handsomely he was watching you. “I see. Your alpha orders can’t be broken. Is that why you are here I’m guessing?” You we’re kind of glad he came into your town. You’re sort of interested in Jaehyun now.

Jaehyun nods slowly watching you speak softly. “Yeah…my father can’t be here alone.” He chuckles a little. Your eyebrows rose up at him as he spoke revealing it was his father. “Oh- your father is an alpha? Does that mean you are…”

You pause stopping on your trailing tracks and he nods softly it was the most humble nod ever. You heard a few rumours that Alpha werewolves were the biggest dickheads but here you are chatting your life away with one and he was the most respectful so far — maybe they met the wrong alphas. However you met the right one. He was kind and respectful something you’d admit changed your perspective on werewolves.

“I hope this doesn’t intimidate you right?” Jaehyun asks you and you shake your head. “No of course not. You seem lovely.” Your eyes look down as the solution was done and you grab the solution into a small triangle glass and then walk to the cauldron in the middle. He slowly walks behind you watching you make these potions it was fascinating. He never encountered a witch so close where he can see their works being made — usually witches are very discreet and prefer working alone because their magic and potions were their only real source of protection for themselves. It was something far too important to show to other people.

But here you are making a suppressant for his upcoming heat that he felt very strongly good about because you decided to make it for him even if you had none for him to take. It was a kind offer he will forever keep to the heart. As the solution falls into the cauldron a few Latin mantras to the spell were said as your hands rub on the top cauldron moving it with the movement to your fingers, as if you were controlling it and mixing the solution with the water as one compound.

You’re using your power to change and make the formula. Jaehyun stays there with his heart beating fast when he saw a glimpse of it change colour and a new hope inside him becomes an inner peace to see the suppressant finally come to life. You take the liquid into small pieces in the air and turn them into pills. They fell into your hands and you push them into a container where he can keep them.

The suppressants levitate to his hands in the open and you pull your hands away watching Jaehyun smile looking at the suppressants and back to you. “Thank you… I didn’t ask your name earlier…”

You smile. “It’s Y/N. My name is Y/n.”

He could remember your smile for decades seeing you smile like that. “Nice to meet you Y/n. I am Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun.” And your hands quietly shake the other.

This was a start to something new, you had a feeling.

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“Here is your four blood bags and please for god’s sake do not drink them all at once Taeyong! This should last you exactly a month before you can get another quadruple blood bags.” You lecture one of your local customers, Lee Taeyong. He was a vampire and a pretty good one at that because he can’t seem to control his freaking thirst levels at all. He was like the biggest gluttony you’ve ever met.

He frowns at your scolding. “Fine fine. I’ll try my best. I still have no idea how hyung can survive this hungry.” He was lucky he is cute because you would’ve smacked him right away for coming here everyday asking for his food resources. You’re surprised he hasn’t killed a single human in this town yet knowing how his controls lacking. You can’t even believe Moon Taeil sirened this poor guy into a vampire now he has to deal with him.

You see this community has laws for each species so it wouldn’t be an absolute war case on each other. If an elder vampire turns another (sirens) human into a vampire mistake or not mistake they have now legal rights to keep that vampire under their wing because newborns are true war criminals and havoc if they don’t have someone teaching them how to survive other wise the human population in this town would decrease. Another vampire law is that vampires can’t drink from a human unless it’s consensual relationship with them or, they are dying already not caused by you. Hence why many vampires drink from dead bodies here. It was kind of disgusting and disturbing but you can’t talk.

As for witch laws. You can’t hex someone because that is forbidden magic and the witch council will have every right to kill you. You can’t perform forbidden dark magic such as necromancy or more. And last law you can’t do magic until you are eighteen years old. (But of course in schools you can, but outside schools you cannot) Underage magic is a big deal because many young teenagers who have this power take advantage of it.

You weren’t aware of werewolf laws but you do know that an Alpha order cannot be mend or broken down or bent actually. They have a very strict hierarchy between their ranks; you know that the lowest ones are omegas and these have it hard in life. You almost pity them and thank you weren’t born a werewolf. You were wondering what kind of laws they have but you didn’t want to pry into their whole system. You just wondered ever since Jaehyun came to your shop last week it’s been a long wait.

You wanted to see him again you won’t lie. You liked his company and you were getting far too curious for your own good. But who says you can’t be friends with him?

Winwin comes out the back rooms whistling. “What’s that long face for Y/n?” He points at you dazing out again.

You’ve been absent minded for a while. You look back at the boy sighing. “What? I don’t have a long face on.” Winwin side eyes you as if you couldn’t be serious. “You were. What’s up? What’s on your mind.”

You sigh trailing. “I was hoping… he would come by and chat with me some more.”

Your assistant Winwin snickers at your words it was a surprise to hear because you never get interested into someone’s personal life or want to actively get to know someone specific yet Jaehyun was on your mind with every step overtaking your everything. Anywhere you walk it’s as if he was walking with you. Everywhere you go you smell his scent and that weird breathtaking perfume that made you addicted to smelling him. It’s so irritating because he is not here and you know it.

But you’re annoyed because he isn’t here with you. You weren’t sure what was happening to you. You were completely out of it. Winwin whistles. “You fall for a werewolf. You totally fell for him. Man I didn’t think you would fall for someone like him.”

You hiss at Winwin grabbing the nearest magazine and rolling it ready to throw and hit him for teasing you but lucky for him he was steps ahead far away from your throw distance.

“Shut up I did not!”

“Oh! You’re angry guessing by your reaction I am right.” Winwin runs off as you saw him leave the shop to do some more errands most likely. He was also running away from your anger and denial. You slant back into your seat feeling a sudden low energy.

You have the urge to meet him again. For some reason. You can’t put your hand on it.

‘Maybe I should go for a walk… that will clear my mind.’ You thought to yourself as you made your way outside. Winwin can handle the shop as you go and take a breather or two.

You therefore start to venture outside roaming the streets of your local town with nothing in sight unless it was a few cars driving on the road and you happen to see them as you walk past. Your gaze meets a neighbourhood where your house was located and a van moving in to the house opposite yours. You couldn’t help but run over to find out who was moving in there and then you were met with someone you would’ve never thought to be there standing with two other figures behind. Your eyes were fixated on the silhouette outline of his muscular build and you were so wrong for admiring him now.

It’s as if you were thrilled with overwhelming urge all this time that has been released off your shoulders now only because you saw him. You weren’t sure what this mild obsession with Jaehyun was and why you happen to be so excited to meet him again.

When he finally noticed you behind the scenes he walks over with a wide smile quite surprised just as much as you were. “Y/n! What are you doing round here?” He asked you and you couldn’t help but wonder the same to him. If anything you should be asking him what he was doing here.

You point your gaze at the house opposite to the other road. “I actually live in that house over there. What are you doing here?”

Jaehyun points to the moving van that his two friends behind him were pulling up the boxes helping them to move in. “I am moving in.” Your eyes move to the two men you don’t know.

One man had pale complexion and sharp piercing eyes reminding you of a hare while the other man had soft features but a friendly smile flashing out to you. Jaehyun saw how you were observing his friends and he laughs a little. “Oh right you must be wondering who these are.” He stops turning to them. “Doyoung and Jungwoo this is Y/n. She is the local witch that owns the store there.”

Doyoung was quick to put the box down lending you a hand out and you shake his hand softly. Jungwoo waves at you smiling. “Hi Y/n. Your suppressants have helped us a lot by the way.” He mentions and you couldn’t help but feel surprised by the sudden compliment.

You were glad your suppressants worked out well for them. You hum relieved a little. “Oh that’s good. I wasn’t sure if they were good enough for you guys.” You say and Jaehyun raised his eyebrows. “You looked like you knew what you were doing the other day though.”

You smirk. “Every witch pretends to know what they are doing with potions. Otherwise you wouldn’t have customers.” Doyoung laughs. “I like your humour. Why don’t you come inside we are just moving in right now?”

Without a doubt you were walking inside the house with your shoes taken off. The house was very spacious and layout well. The guys were moving in slowly and it seems like Jaehyun decided to live alone with two of his friends who happen to be also werewolves. You couldn’t lie but it was cute and endearing to see them have such a close relationship as if they were brothers despite not being blood related it made your heart melt to see Jaehyun and Jungwoo mess about as well as Doyoung calm them down too. You decide to help the boys out too.

Your help was needed inside the house with Doyoung where he puts the curtains on. You both plug the tv and set that up too and then you helped out with the carpet on the floor. Jungwoo and Jaehyun took care of the kitchen where they unpack the cutlery and plates as such putting them into the cupboards and cabinets. While you were done you decide to check out the upstairs where it seemingly was already done and ready to be used.

The house gave you a homey feel. It didn’t feel like a new open house with people moving in after it was finished and ready. Every room had its located items fitting in the perfect setting. You walk around Turing to joining the boys again but this time only Jaehyun was there standing inside his bedroom putting up the vinyls on the wall decorating them.

The vinyls were from a band called Cigarettes After Sex. He had plenty of bands and many more albums somewhere decorated and laying on the desk. The door was wide open so you couldn’t help but be nosey and sneak in taking a step forward but even though he couldn’t see you and his back was turned to you he could smell you from miles away. He could hear you coming before you were approaching. He could smell your distinctive perfume smell he so craves to bathe in it. He wants your scent so badly it could really make him go insane.

Your feet stop when Jaehyun’s head turns around looking ahead at you making you stop on your tracks. “Sorry the door was open wide so I just came in unannounced. I hope you don’t mind.” You said softly hoping he would go easy on you but judging by Jaehyun’s reaction he seems quite content to have you enter his bedroom.

It was intimate to be inside a bedroom with a guy you just met but you couldn’t help but feel an urging spark to just go and stay with him. Speak to him. Smell him. You were going crazy you felt like it definitely— even your thoughts were only shouting Jung Jaehyun on repeat.

He was gentle when speaking with you always. It was different when he would speak to his friends before because he was quite laid back but with you he was always very calm, aware of your feelings and understanding of you. It was something you were not expecting from someone you just met.

“You can come in whenever you please Y/n. You helped us a lot today thank you.” Jaehyun looks down chuckling. You look at him wondering why he was giggling quietly. “It seems like you always help me out. I owe you a lot.”

‘Oh he was laughing because he was shy’. You couldn’t help but smile going shy and feeling all soft and warm deep inside. God how bad his words effect you.

“You don’t owe me anything trust me. I’m glad to help you out when someone needs it. Your two friends from before were nice too are all werewolves this nice perhaps?”

Jaehyun smiles shaking his head as he turns to you softly tucking the hands in the front trousers. He wore a white shirt and over a beige sweater it made him look smart and comfortable definitely it was very loose clothing yet they fit round his body like he was chiselled down from the finest God’s. If only people like you existed more in this world, he swore he met a saint when you had met the first day at your shop.

“Hmm. How about just me? Those two dorks are just trying to get on your good side it seems. They aren’t always nice trust me.” He leans down whispering to your beautiful face watching him so intensely he could feel his stomach twist and turn with butterflies in them. How can you stare at him with such eyes? “Especially Jungwoo. Be careful he can be very mean.” He adds with an emphasis on the ‘Mean’.

You smirk not believing it one bit and your body moves by itself coming forward closer to the small gap closing between you guys that Jaehyun had left but now that you shut it down your bodies peek on each other like multiple books lining on a bookshelf at an abandoned library. Your voice came out as a withering Bligh. “I don’t think you are as kind as you say you are.” He saw your face so clear he could fall over by how your beauty was existing.

Jaehyun however did not back away. He didn’t run away from you something within him told him to stay with you and close more of your space between you and him. He wasn’t sure what this form of attachment was but he could take a guess when your touch accidentally fell on each other as your fingers managed to make a little touch by your pinkies. His eyes widen as he felt a warm sensation on his body and you couldn’t believe you felt it too with him.

And then something pulls you back into reality, another voice pokes out into the scenario coming his two friends walk in on you guys staring into each others eyes like it was never ending. Jungwoo’s voice comes out loud first. “Hey Y/n would you like to stay over for dinner!—“ it came out hushed at the end as Jaehyun was staring you down with his beating heart.

Both Doyoung and Jungwoo felt the rising tension and they stand in the doorway outside Jaehyun’s bedroom. You pull away shakily falling apart from the man in front standing there frozen as a statue.

What the fuck was that? You couldn’t answer it no matter how much magical knowledge you have you simply had no idea how to come to an conclusion answer to this weird sensation running your body with a touch you and Jaehyun shared. It wasn’t even a physical effect it broke you down quite literally. Mentally you felt worn out and terrified by this deep attachment your heart was breaking apart with and Jaehyun was staring you down with so much emotion he began to tear up yet they did not fall out of his eyes.

Just what was happening to you?

You were quickly to dismiss Jungwoo’s invitation walking past them and running down the stairs out of the house door and leaving. You can’t stay any longer because if you did your body would overheat. Why was your body so warm around Jaehyun? It was burning if anything. It wasn’t the good kind of warm either it was this burning scorching feeling that your body shared after a small touch.

Not only did it kind of hurt. It began to exchange your thoughts and smell as if he could read them and he could know you smell him from every corner of that house and it was a weird feeling and thing to happen. You never touched someone and you had this whole spiritual awakening before. Why him? Why Jaehyun? Why now and why then? You had so many why’s but not a lot of answers to them.

‘Just ignore it Y/n. Ignore him. Ignore this ever happened.’

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“So you’re telling me you experienced a spiritual awakening after touching Jaehyun’s hand?” Repeated Winwin who was slanting over the shop cashier desk not believing what happened to you one bit. It was strange to say the least because it was completely random but there can be so many answers to why this happened.

Winwin couldn’t pin one answer down because there would be like fifteen more to your single question it was very difficult to figure out. But here you are trying to find answers with your best friend and another witch that hopefully will help you out but no it seems Winwin was as clueless as you.

You groan struggling to deal with this because even if you and Jaehyun haven’t met or crossed paths since that day it seems like you can feel him everywhere as if he was observing you. It literally felt like you were losing your mind the further you were away from Jaehyun but the closer you are the more scary it was accepting this weird bond you have formed.

He prattles off with the book about werewolves hoping to find the answer to your worries and such. So far nothing in these werewolves grimoires have been able to confirm or deny these claims. “I must say werewolves are difficult creatures. Every werewolf has a different way of making a bond with someone.” He continues. “Here in this book it’s saying it could be an imprint.”

You hawk your eyes at the boy. “You’re telling me a fucking werewolf imprinted on me? Knowing me only after two days?!”

Winwin shrugs. “Imprint doesn’t mean it’s romantic always. It could be platonic. Or he could feel the need to have a brotherly affection for you.”

You glare at him with a blank expression on your face as you grab the rolled up magazine book approaching him carefully. Winwin stops speaking sighing. “Or maybe not. I was just saying… god no need to result to violence. Afterall I’m not the one that bonded with a raging werewolf…”

You sit down hopelessly pondering at your life and how it’s coming to be formed because after knowing Jaehyun you’ve been having majority of it with conflicting feelings and emotions; you were happy knowing him but at what cost would you still be happy? You weren’t sure what’s happening to your body. You can barely sleep without longing to be next to him every single second of the day even now your body is wanting to move and run to his house to find him.

Winwin stops on a page suddenly turning to look at you from the book up front. “Hey Y/n what are your symptoms?” He’d ask and you sigh trailing into a wondering corner. “Everything feels like it goes from zero to a hundred. I have massive mood swings when I’m apart from him. I keep thinking about him constantly. My mind keeps screaming his name out. My heart is pondering fast when I’m near and away from him. God I feel like I’m going insane. My body wants to run away and find him like I’m a marathon runner.” You look back at Winwin.

The boy had an expression that was promising you’d have to say. “Do you ever feel fidgety?” You nod continually now walking up front grabbing the cashier table shaking him back and Winwin escapes back a little with the grimoire to his chest. You gasp. “Did you find a solution to this? Please tell me you did.” You we’re desperate to fix this and go back to normal or at least find an idea as to what is happening to you and Jaehyun.

The Chinese boy flatly turns to you wondering how to bring this news to you. The grimoire was sat on the table as he softly says…

“Y/n…”

You nod at him waiting for an answer but he seems to be hesitant not knowing how to tell you.

“I think you may be Jaehyun’s mate…”

“She is.”

A voice came to confirm belonging to Jungwoo and Doyoung who spoke out in unison as they entered the shop. You flinch as you saw Jaehyun’s friends coming over and Winwin stares them down wondering what they were doing here and as to why they came with such a serious expression.

Jungwoo walks forward but a hand stops them from coming closer to you. Winwin steps in the middle crossing the arms watching them suspiciously.

“You aren’t here to cause trouble am i right?” Winwin shot at them both. “If any of you hurt Y/n I won’t hold back lightly. I will make sure to send you to oblivion understood?” Winwin sucks in his breathe pointing with a wand pointing at them. Jungwoo nods multiple times and Doyoung wanted to roll his eyes out with these witch ass threats.

“We are here to talk to Y/n.” Doyoung spat. “Please we have some class. Do not think we are thugs or something.”

You shot your head to the side coming closer and your friend Winwin soon pulls away from the scene going behind to let you talk to them as much as you want to now. “About Jaehyun am i right?” Your voice was high pitch clearly you were worried about him and these two can explain what you can do to solve this but you knew this won’t be as simple as it would have seem to be. Doyoung nods at your words clarifying you were right.

They were here for Jaehyun.

Jungwoo smiles down at you before he spoke out cashing your eyes on to him away from the other werewolf with the black hair. “Come with us and you can speak to Jaehyun with what has happened. I promise, it will make sense if you just let Jaehyun speak and explain this to you.”

He paused seeing how your emotions flash in just a second by the way your eyebrows rest flat on your face. You look away contemplating if you should go and see him but at the same time you were filled with dead fear wondering what will happen after all of this? You didn’t know this would ever occur. Somehow you follow your innocent heart that wants to see him and you push away your logical heartless brain that would rather decline instead.

“Okay I will see Jaehyun.”

Doyoung and Jungwoo felt a sense of accomplishment to finally convincing you to come with them home. They were worried if you would say no there would be no hope for you guys.

The black hair man with a tall structure and a stare sent to you reassuringly puts his hand on your shoulder. “It will make a lot more sense when Jaehyun explains it okay?”

You hope it does.

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To be back inside Jaehyun’s house you were given Jungwoo’s house keys and they told you to go inside alone and speak with him. Doyoung had a few sudden errands to attend to and Jungwoo didn’t want to be in the house and wanted to give you the space you guys needed. You weren’t sure what Jungwoo is up to now but he did say he will find something to do for the meanwhile.

You enter the house with the keys attach to the doorknob entering and then closing it shut. You take off your jacket slowly putting it on the cloak hanger in the corner. The house was vast silent and empty like it were isolated for centuries somehow this made your skin crawl and you couldn’t shove this horrific feeling away. Somehow the closer you go in the house you start to calm down by the lingering scent of someone’s cologne and your body remembers it with each step you take as if he was walking with you, next to you, talking to you.

And just like that you found yourself in front of Jaehyun it seems like the young man was twice as infatuated with your smell when you came inside the moment you did you were in his environment and his body was automatically searching for you like a radio station alert on every specific time table for you. His jawline clicks open trying to find the words what’s to say to you but your beauty stuns him overtime.

“You came, Y/n.” You heard Jaehyun retort as if he wasn’t expecting you to actually come to him but here you are standing in his very own house. You look around finding it too tense to think. “I want answers, Jaehyun.” You mutter straight to the point.

Ah yes the answers. Jaehyun was dreading explaining this essentially to a Witch it wasn’t easy news to make out the best. If only you were a werewolf it would be so much easier for you to understand how mating actually works and how it can really change your relationship and viewpoint of him . But since you are a Witch you will need to adjust to this weird bond you guys have formed unknowingly. It was love a first sight but this time a werewolf has simply… decided to do this.

You guys sit down together on the couch letting the living room rest with the conquering silence the house was in a state. Jaehyun sits there not facing you with his hands on his legs thinking deeply how to assign this to you. “What do you know about werewolves in general?” You couldn’t line when he asked you this you felt like a lost case. “Barely anything. Doyoung and Jungwoo mentioned something to do with mates? I have no idea what that is.” You shrug your shoulders feeling his eyes on you as you mentioned mates.

Jaehyun felt his ears perk up as you could see an opening for him to take and he will take it upon consideration. His sultry voice lingers like a soft melody you can listen to every single day without a complaint or a pause. “Werewolves mate with someone unwillingly. They don’t get to pick and it happens spontaneously. You also get only one mate in your life.”

You felt your brain hurt from hearing this meaning if you’re mates with Jaehyun it definitely was for life. It doesn’t sound fair neither on you or on him. I mean, you aren’t a werewolf surely there must be some judgement there? Are you even a good compatible match for him? How did you become a mate with him in the first place. You had plenty of questions.

“Wait so… I’m your mate? Is that it? I don’t get it why me out of everyone else.”

Jaehyun couldn’t stop you but his next following words left you stunned. “Because i love you unconditionally Y/n. It sounds crazy because we only met few times but you can’t deny that you feel the same way for me. Our bond is not normal.” His hands brush on top of yours making the skin grow warm and pinkies as if it were blushing by how confidently he grabbed your palms. “I… can feel… see you… even when you’re not around me. It’s driving me insane for these past few days when you are far away. I feel like I could go insane. Your emotions are my emotions. Your thoughts are my thoughts now.”

“But I’m a witch Jaehyun. I’m not a freaking werewolf.” You hiss back. You couldn’t accept this easily just because you are someone’s mate doesn’t make you responsible to take care about it. Jaehyun stares into your eyes sternly as he leans closer. “Witch or not you are my mate. I don’t see the problem in that so why do you?”

“We are too different. I won’t be able to… please you… to love you back the way you love me… heck I don’t even know anything about your kind. How can you expect me to love you back?”

“In this world I only breathe you. I only see and think of you and nobody can change that. I picked you for a reason and so did the universe grant me to you. You’re everything I’ve ever asked for believe me Y/n. So don’t worry and just… give yourself to me… okay?” He whispers as his hands crawl cupping your face you felt weak instantaneously falling in deeper to his arms like melted ice cream and as you did Jaehyun caressed your lips with the edge of the thumb looking down at them hungrily. Jaehyun speaks in a broken tone. “You’re comfortable with me right?”

As far as you’re aware you remember being comfortable and you gave a soft nod and a small hum escaped your lips when two pairs of lips crash on to yours heavily kissing you and you felt your whole body react to it by pushing Jaehyun into your body. The man on top grabbed your waist pulling you down and pinning you where you fight for dominance. Your bodies were a burning ember merging together as one it was a beautiful sensation running through your skin leaving markings of goosebumps. His mouth drifting down to your jawline brushing his teeth and werewolf fangs on your skin that leaves you irking for more and more; your eyes were closed shut but you allow your imagination take you to places. Jaehyun left bruises on your skin you couldn’t even tell when they got there — they were a purple ish and reddish colour on your complexion and small bites where landing.

With every tight groping on your body made you feel so small under his body you haven’t realised it how muscular and larger he was than you. If anything he was larger than life itself and you can’t wait to see what’s awaiting for you in the far future. Those clothes that physically annoyed Jaehyun staring at them were ripped off your bodies leaving your naked presence together resting on one another where his hands roam every trace with the fingertips. You shudder when the sight of his large girthy and thick erected cock stands still intimidatingly before reaching deep inside you.

The tip could barely fit and you couldn’t even think about this thing being so deep inside you it almost made you pass out by pretending it could. You shakily grab the nearest pillow on the couch as you were underneath him pinned like a prey while he was the dangerous predator losing his consciousness of the humane side left inside him. You could not notice it before but now that you were staring the werewolf down your eyes take a glimpse of bright yellow light in his eyes shining through as if this was a sign for you to take and run away but you couldn’t. You did not want to run away you wanted to stay. You wanted him to take you. You needed him. You wanted to be as one with him.

You whimper as his raging cock was taking it sweet time entering you slow and edging. He heard the noises taking it as a cute sign from you as well as your expressions he couldn’t stop thinking about mentally — it’s the way your lips part away to let out an incoming moan or the way your nostrils flare out at the burning sensation of you being stretched outwards on and on. “God Jaehyun you… you are so big I don’t think I can make it fit.” You stutter unable to think quick.

A hand cups your cheeks as he felt your sudden anxiety thump at your doorstep making you nervous. This whole thing is making you nervous and he couldn’t blame you. For non werewolves this whole thing must be a bunch of nerve wrecking stuff bothering your brain and heart. Worst thing is Jaehyun can feel it in his own body. Every emotion you’re experiencing he was getting it too. It made it easier for you both to emphasise and understand but at the same time it made it equally harder. Jaehyun wanted to calm you not stress you out more.

As his hands held your face he lovingly rests the forehead against yours closing his eyes and sighing. “It’s okay. Y/n. Listen to my heartbeat alright? I’m not going to hurt you. I will be slow. It will fit, believe me. You’re doing amazing so far.” He sighs out giving you a rose of confidence you did not have before and somewhere you felt calmer when he mentioned his own heart rate; somehow, it works. Listening to his heartbeat and nothing else makes a great distraction because within a minute seeing you calm down and relax your entrance becomes looser enough to let his large cock slide in much quicker but still a little slowly because he did not want to surprise you.

The thrusts where a peaceful road. It was sensual enough to leave you dotting around like a little doll just for Jaehyun laying down on the coach moving your hips up sometimes to synch with his movements to rock back and let him rut deep in you with his animalistic movements you weren’t even aware of until later on but how he was doing and able to restrain himself so little makes you wondering; we’re you something he couldn’t control around?

“You’re so right for me. You are made for me Y/n and you don’t even realise it how perfect you are. Not a single werewolf can compare to you.”

He has usually great control around people however Jaehyun is struggling around you massively and it’s as if you were the bane of his patience and existence. It’s just that something within gets triggered just as much as you trigger it knowingly. Your bodies were one just as were your souls.

He groans close to your ear out into the thin air letting the heavy smoke his body was produce to fill the room just as much as your loud moans were a fruitful to touch and to hear loud like a large echo in a hollow empty cave covering by darkness and nothing else but Jaehyun’s heat to overtake you. They were a melody to him and only him he could hear. The way his hands pinning you down on the couch never once loosen up and let you go they kept on stern contact as he kept pounding deep in you.

And a sudden painful surge runs through your shoulder where Jaehyun bit down on it with the remaining fangs that are out.

You choke out your gasps. “Fuck…! You’re biting so hard…” It felt awfully weird. It was a quick pain reaction but the more time it goes on your body starts adjusting to it. You were beginning to get addicted to it and like the feeling.

He gnawed forward putting his hands on your stomach holding it as he admires how flat it was and how small it was too. So many dirty thoughts were coming in to his brain just seeing how you sucked it in to inhale out and swallow the moan. He groans out arching deep inside you. He was at his limit you could tell.

“You’re so… small… fragile and dainty I keep guessing if I’m so rough with you i might break you in half. My lord…” his fingers push down on your abdomen where your orgasm was itching to let go. “I want to have you full of my children inside you. What do you say? Want to carry my babies around you? Do you want to be the mother of my kids?”

He trails forward as you were shocked by such words leaving his mouth it didn’t surprise one but now that he was so lost inside to the pleasure he was blabbering nonsense.

“You’d make a great mother I know you would.” Jaehyun pleads humming close to your chest burying his face into it where the little bit of blood draws out from the bite earlier.

You bite your bottom lip hissing out. “If it makes you happy my Alpha.”

Just one word and it made him feral he swore you knew what you were doing with your little playful smile knowing after what you had said would do the trick of making him go absolutely berserk on you and it did because the next minute he was filling you up full stuffing you that could be the biggest load you ever taken in. Jaehyun gave you such a long round but you wondered what that large amount of his warm fluids entering you he stayed inside taking the time.

He looks down at you with beads of sweat on his forehead and dangerous piercing eyes. “Call me that again.”

You stare at him innocently. “Alpha.” You repeated and you saw a flash of his eyes glowing yellow again. He leans down capturing a heavy kiss with you leaving your mouths to be swollen and hurt. The kiss was hard and fiery passionate.

When Jaehyun pulled away his voice went from little strings ghosting over your mouth with his eyes dimly closed but enough to see out of the fluttering long eyelashes.

He spoke like he was an addict. An addict on something called you.

“I like the taste of your lips on mine.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu!! Reblog and follow me from more it helps a girl out <3

[woniverse-writes]

“MOTH TO A FLAME (preview)”

Bada Lee x Fem!Reader

prologue ⟶ part one

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: swearing, reader is described as cute and petite… sorry to my non-tiny friends.

Starting something young and continuing into your present adulthood can be pressuring, especially if that certain thing happens to end up being your career. For y/n l/n, she's still very young and just in the beginning stages of her career. Still in college, but turning her studies to be online right now due to her current situation, she's working towards a business degree, and doubling that major with dance. 

So you can imagine she's a little high-strung since on top of being a college student, she's currently in South Korea, competing as a member of Jam Republic on the second season of Street Woman Fighter. Although y/n is always busy, she's always got a sweet smile on her face- which is why many people, including other dancers, have been drawn to her. It's also why she's currently facing a sea of dancers, waiting to be picked for the "no respect" battle, since she and her fellow teammate, Audrey, received the most votes as the worst dancers.

"She looks kind of scary now…" Yoonji whispers to her teammates looking at y/n. Redlic looks in the direction Yoonji is looking at and laughs a little.

"What're you talking about? y/n? She looks like a kitten trying to be a lion." Now the rest of ManneQueen is staring at Jam Republic, specifically y/n l/n. And sure enough, instead of her usual bright and smiling self, her eyes are fiery and to put it bluntly, she looks pissed the fuck off. Waackxxy was the one to turn to Redlic and go-

“No, she’s definitely got something fierce going on right now… I hope she has a lot of battle cuz I’m kind of interested in her now…” causing the rest of her team to laugh and agree. On the other side, Jam Republic is having their own discussion regarding y/n. 

“I think you should just wait and see- maybe no one will even pick you as a “no respect” dancer!” Ling tried cheering up her younger teammate.

“No I want someone to battle me- I want everyone who voted for me and Audrey to come and try us” y/n fired back with her arms crossed as she leaned back into her chair. She really did look intimidating, especially with her makeup and hair done. Audrey on the other hand was not feeling the same fire-

“Uhm, maybe we don’t need everyone to want to battle us…maybe just a few.” Audrey started to reason, 

”Cuz I don’t know if you remember, but there were a LOT of people that voted for us as the worst dancers…” which caused Kirsten and Ling to sigh, and y/n to roll her eyes and clench her jaw.

“Audrey, my love, I’m very well aware of how many people think we suck-“ 

“You don’t suck-” 

“Thank you Emma, but please give me a second”

“Y/n take a deep breath and check your well-being”

She sighed at their team leader’s advice, knowing it was to help her out and so that she didn’t get too fired up with her teammates. It’s not that y/n doesn’t get along with them- it’s the furthest thing from that- but she gets very passionate about everything, and she’s a bit of a hothead. On top of all that, y/n is very protective of those she cares about, some of those people being her dear teammates.

“I’m sorry” she mumbles a bit, but ultimately huffs out the response. To which Kirsten replies with a motherly “thank you”, causing the others to chuckle.

“I just don’t understand how they can all collectively make the assumption that we’re not as good as them- for what? Why? Because we’re foreigners? Because we smile a lot? Because we’re pretty? To me THAT just sounds like jealousy” y/n continues to rant, frantically moving her hands and arms about, expressing her frustration- and her team just listens patiently for her to finish. Once she finally lets out her final huff and relaxes back into her chair with her arms crossed again, and a pout now sporting her face, her teammates can’t help but smile gently at their youngest member- some even trying to hide giggles and chuckles of endearment. 

“Y/n, sweetheart, you’ve gotta remember- not everyone thinks like you- I wish they did, but they just don’t” Kirsten starts to comfort her, and places a hand on her head, trying her best to calm down the passionate young girl. 

Kirsten always felt like asking y/n to join her team was one of the best choices she made in regards to being a leader. She knew the younger girl had experience in kpop dance styles, having performed at multiple k-con stages and doing countless covers from other groups. Kirsten also saw an unlimited amount of potential in y/n and saw how quickly and easily she absorbed everything around her. The only thing she was worried about was how young she was. it wasn’t a huge concern to her since their whole team was pretty young, but when it came down to it, Kirsten ended up adding Audrey in as well, and the two hit it off right away! To be completely honest- Kirsten felt as if the three youngest members were her babies. Audrey being the sweet angel of a golden child, Emma being the responsible oldest, and y/n being the chaotic troublemaker who’s always trying to pick a fight with someone for hurting her sisters. 

“You just need to remember that we’re here to dance, have fun, and gain a new experience… alright?” Kirsten has successfully reduced her gremlin child to a less angry (but still very pouty) version of herself.

“…alright”

“Thank you. Now please stop pouting, you look like a kicked puppy and the other will probably start picking on you soon” Kirsten teased lightly, which caused Audrey to join in and start poking y/n’s cheek, leading to Emma tugging gently on her hair, and Ling poking her other cheek, all while Latrice coos at her and pats her head. This all of course causes her to start whining and complaining playfully at her members teasing.

But the endearment for each other doesn’t end outside of the members' little cluster. the love for Jam Republic, and specifically y/n, has now spread to the entire studio. as everyone originally took notice of the youngest member’s slight temper tantrum, most didn’t really know what she was ranting about, but they could tell she was not happy at all. The two teams sitting nearest to Jam Republic happened to be Bebe and 1Million, who originally both had members that intended to battle y/n, but after hearing her rant, some opinions changed. 

“I like her style! She’s very passionate” Harimu laughed as she explained her newfound interest in Jam Republic’s youngest. 

“That’s what I was thinking- I don’t even wanna battle her anymore, I just wanna watch her tear up the stage with all her energy” Redy chimed in.

“Do you think we should go up to her during break and try to become friends?” They begin to laugh and joke around about their shared interest in y/n. But their team’s older members aren’t quite on the same level of endearment.

“Ya- you two should be trying to take her down before befriending her, don’t you think?” Lia warns the two girls, who just look at each other and start giggling.

“I don’t know if I’d necessarily wanna go up against someone with her temper” Redy starts off jokingly, but Harimu is already coming back in a teasing mood-

“Yeah cuz you’d probably cry.” Which has Redy letting a gasp-  her jaw dropped to the floor, eyes wide with shock and (false) betrayal.

The other team seated next to Jam Republic isn’t as chipper as 1 Million though, as their leader is trying to convince her team to stick with their guts.

“You wanted to battle her at first for a reason- why would that reason change if you still haven’t seen her dance?” Bada asks Cheche, Sowoen, and Minah. They all voted y/n as the worst dancer because her style was too “pretty” and they thought she relied on having cute expressions. Bada didn’t entirely agree with her teammates, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She even originally stated how she thought y/n’s style was refreshing and youthful, but she was worried about how she’d be with darker concepts.

“Well- I mean- she seems kinda crazy…” Cheche halfheartedly joked, but in reality, she was being completely serious.

“Why? Because she’s angry? She should be angry. Being voted as the worst dancer isn’t something to be happy about…” Bada replies calmly. No one really says anything, as they all are just trying to process whether or not their leader is defending their opponent or just provoking them. 

Bada sighs and stands up to stretch. She wants her team to not only be amazing dancers, but critical thinkers too. Of course Bada wants a win, but she also wants her team to be strong- and if going up against someone with untouchable morale will force her teammates to be stronger, then that’s what they need to do.

She also may or may not be personally interested in seeing what y/n is made of. After all, she caught her attention originally with her bright smile and explosive personality- Bada thought her bold expressions and reactions to things were an endearing contrast from her cute or refreshing facials used when dancing. So now having seen y/n in stark opposition, she’s even more interested.  

Even in the short period of time she’s known her, Bada’s interested in who y/n is and what she can do- especially since she didn’t expect that much personality to fit into such a petite person. She wants to understand her better- even more so after hearing her passionate rant about wanting to prove everyone wrong. She almost feels delusional for being as interested in y/n as she is, but Bada really can’t help but feel drawn to her- like a moth to a flame.

notes: thank you to everyone who read!! this is my first fic so i was a little nervous to share it- especially since it's not really all that interesting yet. but i thought it would be better to write the not-so-interesting stuff as an intro/preview/prologue, so it didn't take up space in the actual fic. I'm hoping to have the first full part up by sometime in the middle of this upcoming week. i want it to encompass the whole three episodes that have aired so far, so there's a lot i wanna write lol

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: Nudity

Chapter Word Count: 2552

—-MDNI—-

A/N: sorry this one took a while! I’ve had so much going on, I’ve struggled to get time to myself. I wrote this over the course of several nights so pls let me know of any errors as it’s only proof read by me

——————————————————————

Please read the below first:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 7

Dean and I stood side by side in the dimly lit parking lot, trying not to make eye contact with each other as Sam stood in front of us; arms folded across his chest with his foot tapping impatiently. He gnawed on his bottom lip, frowning and shaking his head. He was the spitting image of an angry mother.

“You did what?” He asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Look, Sammy,” Dean started and I was unable to tell if he was about to be boastful or apologetic.

“Don’t you ‘look Sammy’ me. We’re on a job Dean, couldn’t you have kept it in your pants a bit longer?”

“Sam I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean for it to happen, it just sort of…did,” I stepped in, embarrassment taking over as I caught sight of my reflection in the Impalas drivers side window. My hair was tousled and my lipstick was almost completely worn off save for a few streaks under my bottom lip. That, and also the fact that my shredded underwear was currently scrunched up in Deans pocket. I couldn’t tell if I was more horrified when I saw him pick them up off the study floor and ‘save them for later’, or the fact that I may have developed a new kink for having my panties sliced off my body with a hunting knife.

“(Y/n),” Sam’s eyes softened, “you have nothing to apologise for; Dean should know better.” His words made Dean scoff.

“She’s not all sunshine and rainbows Sam, she’s the one who started it.”

“I did not! I only told you to kiss me, not fuck me into that desk!”

Sam’s eyes widened and his ears went pink, Dean snapping back at me before the younger brother had a chance to think.

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Yes, you definitely did. Don’t lie,” he paused, his tone changing, “you can’t deny it sweetheart - you wanted me,” Dean smirked, gesturing to himself.

“Ok, prove it - what did I say?” I crossed my arms across my chest, remembering I wasn’t wearing a bra. His smirk grew, suddenly making me very aware that I was most likely wrong about this and he was going to be obnoxious about the fact that he was right.

“You said - and I quote - ‘are you gonna fuck me or what, Winchester?’ Now to me, that sounds like you instigating this.”

I scowled at him, wanting to slap that lipstick-smeared smirk right off his face.

“Fuck you,” I spat, rapidly having to cross my legs where I stood as I started to feel more ‘essence of Dean’ trickle down my thigh.

“You already did darlin’.”

“Ok ENOUGH!” Sam got between us, putting up his hands, “let’s just finish the job and go home. But just so you know,” he pointed at us, “you are BOTH in VERY big trouble.”

*

The ride back to the bunker was a little awkward. I sat in the back, not wanting to move too much for fear of making a mess on the impeccable upholstery and Sam sat in total silence, giving us both the cold shoulder. Dean however drove the whole way home with the biggest grin on his face, occasionally glancing at me in the rear view mirror. Sam had taken the liberty of packing everyone’s luggage into the Impala before we had even left the auction house, so I wasn’t even granted the simple pleasure of washing Deans intoxicating scent from my hair in the motel shower. I just had to sit there for the next three hours breathing him in and replaying every red hot second of our time together in that study.

*

Dean pulled into the underground garage to the bunker and before he’d even put it in park I’d thrown the door open and jumped out, racing back to my room. I heard Dean shout after me but I had sprinted too far to know what he’d said. I ran through the corridors like a princess in a castle; long dress bunched up in my fists so I didn’t trip, with the rest billowing behind me as I frantically searched for my destination in this labyrinth. Upon reaching my door I flung it open and raced inside, slamming it behind me. I paced into the bathroom, heels clicking on the tiles and flicked on the light before turning the shower on and wincing at the loud clanking still coming from the plumbing in here. As the water began to patter into the shower basin I hurriedly peeled off my shoes and my dress before sticking my toe into the water now pooling in the bottom. The moment it was the perfect temperature I stepped in, sighing as the liquid poured over me and washed away the electric tingle on my skin left behind by the older Winchesters hands. I felt normal again, and much less sticky too as I lathered soap over myself. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as I slid down the tiles and sat down, letting the shower soak my hair. I tried my best to steady my mind and be calm, but all that I could think about was Dean. The way he touched me, running his rough hands over my soft skin. The way said my name; moaning it in a deep breathless voice. And oh boy… the way his mouth felt on mine was like something out of this world, the taste of him alone made me dizzy. I wanted to run to wherever he was right now and press my lips to his - to get high off of him again. It’s a crying shame that he’s such a jackass, so naturally I’m reluctant to give him the satisfaction. He’d be smug for days - or weeks - if I even mentioned that this was how I was feeling, let alone if I was actually acting on the impulses.

I must’ve sat in the bottom of the shower for at least twenty minutes, my brain going over the events on a loop, replaying again and again. In the end I gave up trying to silence my thoughts and turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fuzzy white towel around myself. I grabbed a smaller second towel and dried my hair, leaving it damp but not dripping as I walked into the bedroom. I searched for my duffle for a few minutes before it dawned on me: it was still in the car. ALL of my clothes were in there.

“Shit shit shit shit,” I searched through the wardrobe and dresser in the room, hoping to find something, ANYTHING, that I could wear to go and retrieve my bag but there was nothing to be found. I sat on the edge of the bed contemplating my options as I started to shiver, my damp hair making me cold. I considered wearing the dress again, but the stains on it made me think otherwise as I was now clean and fresh from the shower. My eyes darted to the door. There’s only one option: theft. Deans room was right opposite mine and he didn’t spend much time in there so the chances of me running into him were slim. I stood up, determination coursing through me as I marched to my bedroom door, opened it and quietly stepped into the hallway. I looked left and right, sighing in relief at the emptiness. I quietly padded across to Deans door, incredibly aware of how cold the air was out here. I grasped the handle and twisted, the door opening with a small click.

“Yes!” I whispered to myself, grateful it was already unlocked. Ducking in I closed the door behind me and spun around, pressing my back to the cool wood to observe the room. Eyes widening, my blood ran cold and I dropped to the floor. Dean was asleep - or so he seemed to be - above the covers and still fully dressed in his suit, a nudie mag open and covering his face. He had one hand behind his head and the other rested on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath. FUCK. I looked around whilst on all fours, feeling the dust from the floor sticking to my damp skin. So much for the shower. I spotted Deans dresser off to the side of the room; if he was asleep, I should be able to sneak in, grab a T-shirt and sneak out again with no problem. I crawled over to the drawers and started sliding them open painfully slowly to inspect the contents. It wasn’t until I opened the fourth drawer that I struck gold. Silently cheering to myself I snatched the first T-shirt I saw and pushed the draw closed. As I turned around to leave I near enough jumped out of my skin, shrieking a little. Dean was now laying on his side, head propped up with one hand and he watched me in total silence, the corner of his lips turned up.

“You need any help down there?” His voice was low and gravelly.

“No thank you,” I stood up, clutching his T-shirt in one hand and trying not to let my towel fall with the other, the corner now refusing to tuck in. “I got what I came for.”

“And you need one of my T-shirts because…?”

“None of your business,” I taunted, inching my way towards the door. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It is if you’re being a little thief.”

“I’m only borrowing it.”

“Sure you are sweetheart,” he grinned, turning to lay on his back again, this time propped up on his pillows against the headboard with his hands behind his head. There was silence for a few moments as he chewed on his bottom lip, eyeing me up and down. He made me feel totally exposed. Out of nowhere he jumped up, reaching me where I stood by the door in one swift movement.

“I tell you what - you can keep the T-shirt for life on one condition,” he stepped closer, those piercing green eyes keeping mine entranced. I swallowed.

“What condition…?” My voice suddenly felt very small and quiet as a result of his close proximity.

“Drop the towel and put it on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I wasn’t able to stop the heat rising to my cheeks and I couldn’t tell if it was from frustration at his arrogance or the fact that the low rumble of his voice was making my knees weak. The words bouncing off the walls in my mind failed to leave my lips, and in my silence he spoke up again.

“Or unless you’re happy walking all the way to the garage in nothing but a towel, you still have the option to refuse.” I scowled and smacked his chest.

“You knew?! If you knew I’d left my bag behind, why didn’t you bring it?”

“Because,” he put his hand on the wall beside my head and leaned in a little, “where’s the fun in that?” I tried my best to hold his gaze, fighting every urge to look away as my heart started to beat faster and faster. I’ve already fucked the man so what have I got to lose? I placed my hands firmly on Deans chest and pushed with enough force to knock him back, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of the bed, making him collapse onto it. Leaning back on his hands he looked at me expectantly as I took a step towards him and away from the door. I tried my best to keep a stern expression, refusing to let him know that any of this was affecting me - the last thing I wanted was for smug old Dean Winchester to know that everything he does makes my heart hammer in my chest. I threw the T-shirt at him, hard enough that he was taken aback as he clutched the dark fabric in his large hands. A look of disappointment started to cross his face before I reached up and untucked my towel letting it fall to the floor as I stood in front of him, fighting every urge not to cover myself up. At first I was unable to look him in the eye, scared of what that alluring evergreen stare would do to me if I did. Eventually I caved in, biting my lip as I saw how entranced he was; eyes flitting over every curve on my body, studying me like a work of art. I watched him swallow, throat bobbing as he licked his lips, jaw going slack and his pupils dilating. He was silent. I took another step forward so I was in reach of him and his hand immediately shot out to touch my thigh. Right as his fingers grazed my skin I smacked his hand away, pulling him from his trance.

“Please…” was all he managed to say, all cockiness gone from his attitude. I snatched the T-shirt from his loose grip, pulling it on over my head and down over my body, finally covering myself from his burning hot gaze. Dean was finally pulled from his trance when he could no longer see the curves of my figure, his eyes eventually meeting mine again. He looked a little flustered, his hands now crossed in his lap.

“My clothes look good on you,” he said, an unusual tone to his voice - something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He eyed my chest, observing the way the loose black fabric fell over the soft curves of my breasts and did little to hide my perky nipples. His eyes travelled south, surveying the rest of me before stopping and lingering at my thighs right where his top ends, hinting at the shape of my ass cheeks hiding underneath. He probably would have sat there all evening and ogled at me, however I could feel the tiredness start to hang heavy in my body and weigh on my eyelids, getting worse as the minutes passed. I groaned internally, remembering I still needed to go and get my duffle. But there was something about the way that Dean was looking at me that was making it hard to leave. I took a few more steps towards him until I was standing between his knees, swatting his hands away as they skimmed the backs of my thighs, sending goosebumps over my skin. I grabbed his chin unexpectedly, making him flinch. However it was only a matter of seconds until he was like putty in my hands. His muscles relaxed and he looked up at me with hooded eyes, mouth agape as I tilted his chin up to face me. I leaned down, our lips millimetres apart as I felt his hot rapid breath fan over my cheeks. I watched his pupils blow wide at the close proximity, a shiver ghosting over his skin as he stared up at me.

“Goodnight Dean,” I hummed, before letting go and standing up straight, turning to leave the room. I picked up my towel and opened the door, looking over my shoulder one last time to witness the starstruck Winchester sitting in a daze right where I left him.

“Thanks for the T-shirt.”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 1

[softspaceboibrian]

Fell in Love with the Fire Long Ago || Jamie Tartt

Chapters: 1 - more to come

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N - Social Media Manager for AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Summary: When Y/N received that email, she couldn't believe it. He was coming back.

Warnings: maybe some swear words. hints and mentions of sexual acts (still SFW). S1 Jamie Tartt aka a dick. a little angsty. Sam being is lovable self.

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, Dani Rojas, Ted Lasso, Rebecca Welton. Some others may appear as mentions.

Wc: 3800 (this works as a pilot or a prologue, to set up the story)

A/N: this story is based on this idea I had and that a few people seemed to like. hopefully you enjoy this first chapter/prologue. and if you want to read more, feel free to leave a comment. If enough people like it, I was thinking to do a taglist, so that people can stay updated. anyways, thanks for reading &lt;;3

When you first heard the news, you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that they could do such a thing. Not to the team, not to you. That was the reason you were stomping up the stair, the clinking of your heels echoing against the walls, as you reached Rebecca’s office.

You didn’t knock, you didn’t wait for them to welcome you in. They knew you were coming. Especially after the email they had sent out. The email had been sent only to the “necessary” people that needed to be involved, and you, being the social media manager for the club, received it. It was probably a way for them to warn you to start preparing the content for the announcement. But you obviously didn’t take it well. They knew about your history, they knew how things had gone down. They had to be expecting you.

“How could you?” Your loud, clear voice, full of anger and disappointment filled the room.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Ted’s cheerful greeting made you want to scream. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” The sarcasm was obvious.

“How could you? After what he did to the team? After what he said about you?” Your tone was loud, so much so that you were sure people from downstairs could clearly hear every single one of your words. “How could you?” You choked on your last words, and as you finally met Rebecca’s gaze, you could feel the familiar sting of the tears that threatened to fall, spill, pour.

The woman sighed, getting up from her chair to make her way around the big desk. “Listen, love, he’s a great player. When Ted told me about their talk, I knew we had to get him back.” She explained, walking over to her. “We cannot let our feelings get in the way of the team’s success.”

You shook your head, taking a step back. “I never thought you would become this cynical.”

“I’m not cynical, just rational.”

“It’s all the same thing. He’s a prick. And pricks don’t change.” You were furious. “And it’s not just my feelings, but the team’s feelings. But you obviously don’t remember how he used to treat everyone.” You lingered on that last word, looking briefly at each of them, before turning around and making your way out of the office and down the stairs. “No one understands.” You whisper, your fists so tight you started to feel that burning sensation of your nails leaving marks on your palms.

Keeping your head low, trying to hide the tears streaming down your face, you made your way to the changing room. You knew you couldn’t say anything to any of the boys yet, but still, you needed some comfort. You needed Sam.

You quickly reached the locker room and knocked, waiting for them to give you a sign to let you know you could come in. And, as soon as you opened the door, you ran straight to Sam, immediately burying your face in his chest.

“Hey, Y/N/N. What is going on?” His thick Nigerian accent immediately bringing comfort to you. “Did something happen?” He asked as he tried to pull away slightly, trying to understand what was happening.

“Just… hug me… please.” You pled, the voice muffled by his jersey. And he did. He wrapped his arms around you, softly placing a kiss on top of your head, before laying his chin in the same spot. You’re immediately comforted by the warmth of your best friend’s embrace. However, you didn’t fail to notice how the familiar chatter of the changing room had started to slowly simmer down until it ultimately came to a halt. A sense of pain and anxiety washed over you at once, and your head started again to fill with the same questions you had asked Rebecca and Ted. Why? Why him? Why now? How could they?

But soon, your stream of thoughts was interrupted by Isaac’s voice. “Who do we have to kill?” You didn’t need to raise your head from Sam’s chest to know that the feeling was shared by most if not all the team’s players.

“No one. Yet.” You mumbled, sniffling. “It’s complicated.” You added as you finally pulled away from Sam, yet still remaining extremely close to him, as if his presence was the only thing keeping you sane and calm at that moment.

“When the moment comes, just call, okay?” You gave a quick nod to the team captain, accompanied by a shy smile. To any casual passer-by, the comment may have seemed sarcastic, the usual banter between friends that care about each other. But the team knew that that was not sarcastic at all and that Isaac would indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, kill someone for you.

You couldn’t exactly remember when, but somewhere down the line, the team had become your chosen family. However, you could clearly remember how that process had started.

You had started working for AFC Richmond around the same time that Ted and Coach Beard did. You didn’t care much for football or sports in general, but you had just recently graduated from university and had found this work through Keeley. You and her had met at your cousin’s going away party a few years before, when he had decided to move to Greece to become an archaeologist. You had immediately bonded over who can even remember what, and remained close friends ever since. So, when she heard that the position had just opened up, she immediately sent your CV to Rebecca, without warning you first. You found out about the job only when you received a call from a certain Mr Higgins, who told you that they had read your curriculum and found it really interesting. And so, you ended up moving to Richmond-upon-Thames and started working for the club.

It didn’t take you long to get to know the team and become friends with them. Obviously, you had your prejudices against footballers, who you thought were self-centred egomaniacs – and you weren’t completely wrong about that – but, to your surprise, most of them turned out to be great people. You quickly became very close with Sam; Roy tolerated you; Isaac and Colin were always kind to you. Even Jamie Tartt, the prick of the team, would usually drop his dickhead persona when he was with you. And that was how you two ended up together. For the first month or so, you would notice his constant flirting, but you never really gave it too much thought. You had read about him in the tabloids, and you knew how he was famous for having a different girl every week. You weren’t that oblivious, you knew he was fit. But, every time he would flirt with you, you would play along for a while, before brushing it off and going back to your business. I’m just his latest challenge, he will move on sooner or later, you thought. Until, roughly a month and a half after you had started working there: he started waiting for you outside the clubhouse, asking you if you needed a ride home. Which then turned into him asking you to grab a coffee with him one day before practice. Then it was dinners. Movie nights at his place. Stolen glances in the hallways of the clubhouse. Sneaking in the boot room to secretly make out. And sooner than you could realise, you were sleeping over at his place most of the time.

You asked him to keep things private for a while. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him. You just needed to be sure about him. So, you kept sneaking around. Avoiding each other as much as possible, too worried that the team might just figure it out. Let me show you off, Jamie would whisper into your ear, in-between wet kisses, as he stood behind you in the kitchen in the morning, wrapping his arms around your waists. Let me take you out to a restaurant, on a proper date, he insisted. But you kept declining his offers. Not yet, baby, you would reply, as you slowly melted under his touch, I need a little more time, you said as you turned around in his arms. And the conversation would die there, with Jamie immediately picking you up and placing you on top of the kitchen counter, his lips trailing their way down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down, down, until your vision turned hazy and you had to grip onto the marble countertop with all the strength you had in your body, too afraid you might fall off of it, as his lips met finally met your core.

You were able to keep your relationship private longer than you had expected. It was after almost 4 weeks that Nate eventually walked in on you two in the boot room. You weren’t doing anything too private, you were merely making out. But Nate being Nate, froze on his feet as he saw you two holding onto each other, too stunned to move. I was… I needed to… sorry… I didn’t…. As usual, he was too embarrassed to form a complete sentence, so he simply left the room. You two looked at each other and knew that it was only a matter of time before your secret would be out. And you were right. The secret didn’t last the entire day, and when it was time to go home after practice, you were met by a horde of football players, asking you when it had started, how long had that been going on, if you two were official, and so on.

Somehow, but still not completely unexpectedly, the news reached the press in less than a day. The next morning, as you lied in bed with Jamie’s head on your chest, you were woken up by the constant buzzing of your phone. Check this article from The Sun, said a message from your high school friend, with a link attached to it. Is it true? Asked your mother. Congratulations! read the message from your aunt from whom you hadn’t heard in ages. And the messages kept coming. Yes, it was true. You were now in a relationship. Yes, your boyfriend was a famous footballer. Yes, you knew about his fame. Still, you didn’t care. Because, when Jamie was with you, he wasn’t Jamie Tartt, star striker for AFC Richmond, but just Jamie. And you loved just Jamie. He was sweet, he was passionate, he was kind, he always made sure you were feeling well, he brought you flowers once a week, he left some coffee for you in the pot in the mornings, he always made sure you were sexually satisfied – something he was really proud of.

Sadly, you hadn’t realised that, with going public, also came the hate from his fans, who thought that you would be too distracting for their beloved favourite player, and from the girls, the actresses, the top models, the reality tv stars, who had hoped to one day end up with him and whose dream you had shattered overnight. You pulled through it, and that was also thanks to Jamie, who never missed the chance to remind you how much he loved you and cared for you.

However, two months after going public, things started to change. You couldn’t understand why if it was something that you had done or said, but he started to become distant, cold. He would invite you less and less over to his place, and when he did, it was mainly to have sex, to ‘release the tension from practice’. And whenever the team lost, the sex would be rough. He was always on his phone, texting, dming, emailing. A part of you knew it was girls he was talking to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him about it, so you just said nothing and held on. He soon stopped asking you how you were, telling you how much he loved you. You tried asking him what was going on, but he would always deny everything, saying that you were imagining things, that you were just paranoid, and that everything was fine. Fine. Oh, how you came to hate that word. You asked him how he was. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to spend the night together. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to drive to the clubhouse together. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You hated fine. In Jamie’s language, fine meant if you really have to, or I would rather you left me alone, or I don’t really care. You hated it. And you hated what your relationship had become. But still, something stopped you from leaving him, maybe the hope that soon things would go back to normal, that soon he would go back to being just Jamie.

But that never happened.

And things only got worse when Ted decided to take him out during a match. You knew that Ted was doing it to teach him a lesson, and he was right to want to do so. But as you watched your boyfriend leave the pitch, you knew things would only get worse. So, you stopped constantly looking for him. You stopped texting him every day. You only met when he asked you.

It was in that period that you grew closer to Sam. You could distinctly remember the day he walked into your office to ask you for a few suggestions on how to make his Instagram page more appealing. Instead walked in on you sitting on the floor, with your back against the wall and your hands in your hair. You didn’t even have the strength to pretend things were okay, so you simply looked up, black lines scarring your cheeks, and met his eyes. “Sorry, Sam, it’s… not a great moment.” You struggled to get the words out.

But Sam didn’t say anything. Instead, he closed the door behind him, made his way across the room and took a seat on the floor next to you. “Is it Jamie?” He asked with his thick Nigerian accent that you would grow to love and even find familiar. You nodded silently. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head. “Do we just sit in silence?” A nod. A beat. Then your head slowly fell to the side, until it found its resting place on his shoulder.

You don’t exactly know how long you stayed there, on the floor, in silence. It could have been a few minutes or entire hours. In either case, Sam stayed there, and didn’t leave your side. He never once took out his phone to check his messages, even though you could feel it buzzing in his pocket. He only changed position once, to move his arm and wrap it around your shoulders. That was the first time you had spent that much time in silence with someone without feeling the need to fill it with superficial chatter.

From that day forward, you and Sam were inseparable. There was something about him that simply brought you comfort, a comfort that not even Jamie had been able to give you. Whenever you weren’t sleeping over at Jamie’s, he would come to pick you up and drive you to work. He would drive you home in the evenings, making sure you were all the way inside your house, before sprinting off the road to go home himself. You would start having lunch together, usually joined by some of the other guys – in all of this, most of the time Jamie was nowhere to be found. And whenever your boyfriend acted like a dick with you in front of everyone, he would speak up. Are you his boyfriend now, Sammy? Jamie would mock him, using your nickname for him. I don’t think so. She’s me girl, so I’ll talk to her how I want, a’ight? He would puff out his chest, trying to look bigger and intimidating.

That evening, after practice was over, Jamie sprinted off to who knows where or to who knows who, leaving you there, alone. And, as per usual, Sam would come to the rescue, offering you a lift home.

“Why are you still with him?” Sam asked you as he stopped in front of your house. “You deserve better, not an asshole like him.”

You shook your head. “He’s not like that when it’s just the two of us.” You would always find a way to make excuses for him.

“I don’t care how he is when he’s alone with you, Y/N! If he really loves you, he should treat you well in public as well!” You had never really heard Sam raising his voice before, and it would have been a lie if you had said that you were not intimidated. But, despite everything, you could feel the care and preoccupation in his voice. “You deserve someone that truly cares for you, and that isn’t afraid to show it!” You knew he was right. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say something, to break up with him.

But you never had to.

It was maybe a week after your discussion with Sam when you showed up unannounced at his place. It was cold outside, and you were only wearing a thick jumper. You stood there, in front of his door for at least three whole minutes, before finally knocking on his door. You knocked instead of ringing the bell so that if he was already asleep, you wouldn’t wake him. But he had heard it, and less than 10 seconds later, he was opening the door.

“Y/N, what are you-” He didn’t even finish his question. He took one look at you and knew exactly what had happened. He took your hand gently in his, and immediately pulled you inside, guiding you to the living room. “Wait here a moment.” He said, making you seat on the couch, before running off in search of a blanket. “Okay, wrap yourself in this while I put the kettle on.” He opened the blanket and put it around your shoulders.

“Stay here, please.” You whispered, grabbing him by the wrist before he could move away again.

“But you’re shivering.”

“Just… please.”

As soon as he met your eyes once again, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had seen you in distress before, he had comforted you multiple times after your fights with Jamie. But this time he didn’t even need for you to tell him what had happened, he already knew. He took a seat next to you, fixing the blanket so that it was properly covering your entire body, before pulling you to his chest.

“He said that I was too much work.” The words left your mouth watery. “That I asked too much of him. And that, since he was going back to Man City, it was better to call it quits.” You whispered. You could feel Sam’s body tense, the air blowing through his nose. You knew he wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to tell you that he was a dickhead, that he never realised what he had in front of him, that he had just lost the best woman he could ever find, that he was a moron, a jerk, an idiot, a fool. But he didn’t. He remained silent. And he did the best he could to comfort you. He stroke your hair and your back, he rocked you and hummed to you, until you fell asleep.

After that night, it didn’t take long for the rest of the team to find out what had happened, and how it had happened. Every single one of the boys sent you a text, saying, each in their own way, that they were sorry, that Jamie was a dick, and that they were there for you if you needed them. And you were glad to know so many people cared for you, people that up until a few months ago didn’t even know you and that you would have never expected in your life to end up being friends with. They all stopped and hugged you when they met you in the corridor for the first time after it had happened. But some of them surprised you.

You hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few nights, which was made obvious to everyone by the way you dragged your feet against the floor whenever you walked around the clubhouse, your legs too heavy for your exhausted body to properly move. You had also stopped taking care of yourself. Yes, you showered and brushed your teeth because you hated not being presentable for work. But you had stopped brushing your hair every morning and every night, like your grandmother had thought you when you were little. And you had stopped wearing make-up. Not that you would normally put on a full face every day, but you stopped using mascara because it made your eyes burn whenever you cried, and the light concealer you used under your eyes to make yourself look fresher, more awake. And now your puffy red eyes and dark circles were there, on display, for everyone to see, a reminder of how you were feeling.

That morning you had opted for a very comfortable pair of sweatpants and a warm AFC Richmond hoodie. Using supportiveness as a way to hide your depression. Smart, you thought. Sad. You were sitting in your office, alone, working on the new social media campaign, when suddenly you heard someone knock on your door. “Come in.” You said flatly. As the door opened, you looked up from your laptop, only to see Sam walk in, followed by Isaac, Colin and Dani. “How can I help you, boys?” You forced a smile on your face.

“Want to watch a movie with us tonight?” Asked Isaac, taking the lead. You looked at the quartet in front of you, unsure of what to say. “We can watch whatever sad movie you prefer, and Dani can bring some Mezcal.”

“Boys, I-” You started, but you were instantly cut off.

“Uh-uh!” The Welsh stepped forward. “We don’t want to hear any I’d rather be alone or I don’t want to be a bother bullshit, okay? We want to do this.”

“Yes, we only asked to be nice, but if you say no, we will just kidnap you and force you to do it.” Said Sam, a soft, warm smile on his face, as he leaned over your desk.

“Por favor, Y/N” Dani pled, showing you his big, brown puppy eyes.

“Fine!” You gave in. “On one condition: we order Chinese.”

They all look at each other, before bursting out laughing.

A/N: if you read all the way through, thank you ! feel free to leave a feedback/comment. i would love to know what you think about it and if you would be interested in reading more of this story. let me know if you would like to be put in a taglist for this fic! love you <3

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 3 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7, PART 3 OF THE MAIN STORY AND MALLEUS’S DORM UNIFORM VIGNETTES.***

If you’d like to watch a rough part-by-part summarized translation, please check out this archived stream!

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

LOL???? We start this part in Ignihyde 😂 with Idia getting a phone call from (OG/grown-up) Ortho??? Ortho says he’s enrolled at RSA and it’s Idia’s first year as a dorm leader????? What sorcery is this???? I-Is this Ortho’s dream…? Or is it Idia’s dream???

cnn kdveienskebe Okay, it’s Idia’s dream??? Oh gosh, he pictures Ortho as being the kind of heroic and kind-hearted person who would attend RSA if he were still alive… 😭

NOT THAT IMPORTANT but Idia games with Lilia and it’s cute :>

Idia is happy to go along with the call but then notices weird little discrepancies like how NRC’s opening ceremonies are at night (but Ortho called him during the day and Ortho is excited about NRC even though he himself is going to RSA)? He feels like something bad is going to happen…

AND SUDDENLY A WILD MALLEUS GREETS HIM???? Wow, he finally got invited— Gao-Gao Dragon-kun returns as a motif throughout episode 7, Idia seems super hype about it. Interestingly, it looks like Gap-Gao has evolved into a full-fledged dragon when Malleus shows it to Idia 🥺 The set-up is very similar to Idia’s + Ortho’s ceremonial robes stories, but in the original vignettes, Idia meets Malleus on the way to the ceremony and gets too scared, so Idia heads back to his dorm.

OMINOUS??????? Malleus is all like, “Gao-Gao was broken many tomes, but I fixed it and I intend to keep it this way for a long time”. This, of course, is him actually talking about what he’s done to prevent everyone from leaving him :)))

OMG WILD LILIA TOO

Entrance ceremony~ The characters repeat the exact same lines spoken during the prologue!! Deja vu~ Cool little easter egg there, this really is a redux but with nothing bad happening and Malleus actually invited and Idia physically present instead of just being a tablet— Something else weird is that Yuu and Grim don’t seem to be at the ceremony.

RSA is confirmed to have dorms and dorm leaders as well! No specific dorms are referenced though.

“I feel like I’ve forgotten something very important…” — Idia

Back to Diasomnia we go… and the expected Sleeping Beauty dream sequence from Yuu… Then Yuu wakes up to what seems to be the room Mickey described to them (from the animated short 1936 Thru the Mirror) but mirrored/flipped (the date on a calendar is written as 51), Also???? Yuu and Grim seem to remember the “real world”; they recall Malleus casting magic before they passed out. UHHHH they’re locked in the room and there are ghosts drawn on the windows. That’s weird, that’s suspicious 😳

THE FOOT STOOL (ottoman?) IS A DOG WITH A PUG FACE???? Wait… THIS IS MICKEY’S ROOM, ISN’T IT??? He literally described a foot stool thing that barks like a dog the last time he talked to Yuu.

WHAT everything is alive??? Beauty and the Beasting it… Grim eats a sketchy nut and temporarily becomes big (a la Alice in Wonderland), they mention there are mushrooms in the Queendom of Roses that have a similar effect.

OH MY GOD MEETING MICHARD REAL GONE WILD NOT CLICKBAIT

Mickey makes more Thru the Mirror references (he squirts ink at playing cards)? Then he mentions dancing about the queen (of Hearts!?) and the king getting mad about it… ordering the card soldiers to attack him. “I feel bad for the card soldiers.”

Mickey weirdly says something like. Their consciousnesses are in this place but their bodies are elsewhere. Mickey is going to help them look for their friends!! They sort of imply this is Mickey’s dream world, he starts vanishing because now it's morning... and now he is "waking" from the dream.

Blot??????????? They punch a monster thing????

HUH???? ??? ? ???? ? SILVER PULLS UP TO SAVE OUR ASSES???? 😭 We get his UM reveal as well! It's called "Meet in a Dream" (written as "Let's see the same dream") but we don't immediately get to see what it does because we cut away to the real world. The incantation for "Meet in a Dream" is roughly, "For the person/people I met before, for the person/people I will meet soon". IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING AURORA WOULD SAY WHILE WAITING FOR HER PRINCE THAT SHE DREAMED OF

Back at Diasomnia, Malleus is creepily humming over everyone sleeping...DHBFIYODSBFIOIOAF MORE IMPORTANTLY THOUGH, ORTHO'S CONSCIOUSNESS IS IN CYPERSPACE AND HE ACCESSES THE LAST MEMORIES HE HAD STORED BEFORE GETTING KNOCKED OUT (something, something... emergency protocols activated because Malleus emitted a high amount of blot)👁️ His hologram goes and tries to wake Idia up (lol I guess he did end up getting affected by Fae of Maleficence), then tries to connect to his spare bodies but their circuits are not working. He also tries playing music of Idia's favorite girl group to wake him (Idia usually wakes up and dances), but Idia still doesn't.

The time also seems to have not moved, just like during Endless Halloween Night. Wow, Malleus really decided to reject any and all change, even the passage of time...

Ortho realizes just how wide Malleus's spell has been cast (like, it seems to extend even to RSA which is on the other side of Sage's Island). That's... scary... x_x Guess no heroes are coming to save them, huh?

OMINOUS COMMENT: Ortho says that if people continue to dream like this without waking, they will miss out on food and water that their bodies need... and so they will DIE. They got like a week tops without water 🤡 and then their consciousnesses will remain forever trapped in the dream worlds????

STYX becomes relevant again! They get alerted to the blot levels on Sage's Island.

KJBLDVITUFUQFWOVYQFEOBAFIBAFI DIRECTOR SHROUD AND HiS WIFE SHOW UP???????? THEY GOT ON FULL-ON CYBERpUNK HELMETs ON TOO??? Mrs. Shroud sounds so young 😭 and she acts surprisingly cutesy???? She calls her husband “papa” and serves at STYX's technical director.

STYX forces on Sage's Island can't seem to penetrate it... UM IT SOUNDS LIKE MALLEUS'S MAGIC FIELD IS EXPANDING, STYX is going to evacuate people close to Sage's Island.

WEIRDLY, IDIA'S DAD COMMENTS THAT HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS SEEN THIS SCENE OF SPRAWLING THORNS BEFORE???? Mr. Shroud remarks that he has seen it in stories of the Thorn Witch. I-Is history… repeating itself?

Ortho gets in contact with STYX and Mrs. Shroud is soooo cute 😭 She calls him “Or-kun” and worriedly asks him about his older brother and if Ortho is hurt, etc.

So Malleus used ancient magic (regional dominion?) to control everything in that field?? Mr. Shroud says fairies in general have always historically had the magic to “change” the world/nature, like land forms and the weather.

Uhhhh so??? They that Malleus’s magic won’t ever run out because he can absorb power from the natural elements to fuel his magic??? His magic field will keep expanding… so Twisted Wonderland is pretty much fucked if they can’t stop him 💀

OH MAN Mrs. Shroud says they’re going to try and contact Briar Valley 🤡 though Grandma Shroud tried to in the past and it was difficult?

Aww, sort of sad?? Mr. Shroud implies he’s a normal person and that he’s dealing with geniuses that try to do things that he can’t.

The Briar Valley actually responded and try to help them break the barrier around Sage’s Island!! But it sounds like even they could not get past it…

Ortho transfers his consciousness to the Cerberus Gear body!! (Mrs. Shroud makes it for him!) It can last ~20 minutes inside the field. Two dogs will follow him; they have the Cerberus security system in them.

He’s the best suited for this investigation (it’s NOT meant to be a rescue, just a mission to collect info) because his existence defies nature itself; he is the culmination of human ingenuity and Malleus can’t overwrite that. Ortho promises to come back and to save his big brother, he doesn’t want the Shroud parents to lose “another son” 😢

LOL all the researchers are passed out on the floor, even Mr. Shroud was like. Sleeping under a table 😂

Not Mrs. Shroud joking about peeking at Idia’s password protected folders 💀 and not Idia leeching off of STYX’s wifi cuz he’ll die without high-speed internet to do his dailies…

Mrs. Shroud continues to be so wholesome and worried for her children, she encourages Ortho to come back if he’s scared or feels like he’s in danger. It’s so moe of her 🥺

Hmmm 🤔 the Shroud parents are definitely a lot different than what I thought they’d be?? They’re very warm and accepting of Ortho, especially Mrs. Shroud. I didn’t get that impression from book 6 and Idia’s post-OB flashback, it seemed like the Shroud parents were very hands-off and work oriented. Of the two, Mr. Shroud is definitely quieter and more stand-offish, so it seems like Idia takes after the dad and Ortho after the mom. It’s not a bad thing, I’m just surprised!! I’ll definitely keep this in mind while writing them moving forward.

Back to Mickey's world!! ... Suddenly, they're in the sky and comedically falling out of it???? They land outside of Diasomnia dorm.

HMMMMMM so Silver says that the “blot” he fought earlier is like… the darkness that appears in dreams. He has seen it many times. If the darkness catches you, it will drag you into an even deeper dream… and it seems like they fell into a new dream because Mickey woke up (so Mickey’s dream crumbled).

“Meet in a Dream” allows him to enter the dream world of people who have a bond with him. So… there is a preexisting connection Silver has with Mickey????

Silver has??? Met Mickey before in his dreams?? This confirms the story Mickey told us before of seeing a silver-haired boy. Usually the dreamer does not remember him being there, but Mickey for some reason COULD remember Silver. (When Silver himself wakes up from the dreams, he doesn’t remember them.)

bcsksbiexbkss OMG POOR LAD????? Silver has tried to wake up before by punching himself and by bashing his head against rocks (to no success).

He doesn’t 100% understand his power or dreams yet, but he describes each dream to us as its own landscape? It’s an oddly artistic way of describing it but I guess without the context of Malleus trapping them all there it calling them “landscapes” is nice!!

Silver says he somehow stumbled into Mickey’s dream while following a bird that shone with rainbow colors. Ho-Oh is that you (A bird that gives the illusion of rainbow colors… It sounds similar to the white birds Kalim borrowed in his dorm story vignettes from Silver.)

There are other stipulations to using his UM; Silver has to be sleeping AND be aware that he is dreaming in order for him to dream walk. He also can’t decide whose dreams he ends up in. Silver eerily mentions that he cannot escape from dream worlds, not unless the dreamer wakes up or the dreamer/Silver gets a large enough shock.

Silver falls through the sky to get to new dreams? He calls these transitions “dream corridors”. He describes dreams as places of memories and wishes, making up one’s greatest desires… but also meaning different things to different people.

They enter Diasomnia and IN COMES SEBEK SHOUTING AT THEM??? Apparently there's a party going on at Diasomnia to send Malleus and Lilia off for their internships. (There is a little glowing fairy thing flying around Sebek which indicates that Sebek is the dreamer. We did not previously see this light around Mickey.) Sebek rushes them to the party where everyone else is waiting!!

Oooh, we hear what Lilia’s internship might have been! He would be going into a company that specializes in making magical tools for medicine/health; his reasoning is that the Briar Valley has people who are not used to technology, and Lilia wants to be able to make their lives easier by introducing these technologies to them. Malleus’s archeological internship would be in the Land of Crimson Long.

BRUH 😭 Dream!Lilia says he will stay in their forest cottage where he raised Silver for the rest of his life, he’s not leaving.

Silver calls them out on the bullcrap, calling the situation for what it truly is. “This is just a convenient dream!” It’s fake, it’s all wrong. He shouts at on point, which is something be rarely ever does; the last time I can recall him shouting is back at the end of Endless Halloween Night.

ERRRRR (real) Malleus is monitoring all of their dream worlds, that’s 100x more creepy than anything Rook can do 💀 Malleus is justifying this by using his position as to-be king; “it’s only natural for a king to watch over his subjects”, that kind of thing. Leona would be hella pissed—

Eh? EH????? WE'RE PUNCHING SEBEK NOW (he’s protecting Malleus). And so we beat him up and Sebek finally remembers reality. (I think the implication is that by beating him up, they’re “shocking” the dreamer awake.) Sebek begrudgingly joins our party!! ✨

bhlBFYUVAIFAIAFDIL I OH NO, MALLEUS IS MAD THAT SILVER IS “AWAKE”

AYO OB MALLEUS BATTLE, HIS PHANTOM IS MALEFICENT'S DRAGON FORM, IT’S TIME TO GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSS (before revealing his OB form, he was really trying to convince us it’s not a dream when we said it was one + confused Grim with his claims, then lowkey threatened us by saying “if you keep talking, I won’t forgive you”.) That’s… scarily accurate for how real emotional manipulators act 😬

I kept being reminded of Malleus’s dorm uniform vignettes around this point in the main story. In the vignettes, Malleus teleports the dorm leaders (without consent) to Diasomnia to hold a meeting, and they become upset with him for treating them like objects. Malleus is STILL treating living beings like objects (even if he does care for them). Look at what he’s doing: he doesn’t think about what they want, he’s manipulating them again, and even earlier he implied they and Gao-Gao were the same… Broken things that have been repaired, and that he intends to keep this way forever.

Silver grabs their hands and says they’ll jump into another dream!! LOL 😂 Sebek’s being tsundere at the worst of times… “I WOULD NEVER HOLD YOUR HAND!!!” SEBEK PLEASE, NOT NOW!?????? We’RE GonNA DiE

Malleus tries to force them back under, but a sparkling light "like an aurora" compels Silver to not succumb. Silver asks his father to give him power while clutching onto the ring on a chain that Lilia imparted to him. AWWW SILVER 😭

This time they wake up in a forest and get surrounded by masked people who speak in... animal sounds??? It may be a fairy language; in Fairy Gala: If we learn that different kinds of fae communicate in different ways (for example, the diurnal fae speak in like bell chimes). Sebek seems to understand what they are saying... so maybe the language of the nocturnal fae????

AYO THE MIDDLE ONE KINDA LOOKS LIKE CROWLEY... EVEN THE EYES GLOW YELLOW LIKE HIS DO???? IS IT JUST THE MASK SHAPE???? OR WAS CROWLEY A WAR VET??????? ??????? ?? ?? ? (Side note: I think these masked NPCs are meant to resemble Maleficient's minions!)

There is also what appears to be the sound effects of canon fire??? Is this… a battleground?? The human-fairy war?????? (The masked men are soldiers that report to Lilia!)

FKJLADFIHLAFSLIHAFLIADFILETasasutvfetoqevb WHAT WHAT WHAT???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? LONG HAIR LILIA SHOWS UP IN A MASK AND SAVES THEM???? HE’S USING HIS CLEAVER TOO (this is his dream for sure now 😭)

So in Lilia’s new design, we see that there are green gems hanging off of him; these may be magical gems or the special ore he mentioned his weapon is made from (which is very rare in modern times).

If you look closely, his hair streaks are dark red instead of bright magenta. This lines up with one of Lilia’s voice lines in which he expresses dying his hair different colors depending on his whims.

Every warrior seems to be wearing a mask? And we can see their eyes glow (I wonder if this is a trait of nocturnal fae)? The masks may be there as s cultural thing or maybe as a tactic to obscure their faces from their enemies.

It’s odd that Lilia’s dream seems to be of war time??? Because Malleus’s magic is meant to give them happy dreams, but surely Lilia doesn’t think of war time as a happy period of his life???? Maybe that will be better explained in the next update??

AAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHH??????? ? ?????? ? ? ? ? ? ? THAT'S THE END OF THE PART 3 UPDATE???? ? ?? ??? ? TWST, YOU REALLY GONNA CUT US OFF LIKE THIS?? ???? ? ? ? ???????? ? ? 🫠 WE’RE ONLY At PART 55 AnD SO MUcH SHiT hAS GONE dOWN…………………..,,..,,, …….. ….. … . .. . .. . . .

[meazalykov]

redirection I

esmee brugts x barcaplayer!R

last chapter: redirection; prologue

next chapter: redirection II

It's been a few days since i’ve arrived in Barcelona. Sometimes my mind goes blank when I process that this is my life now. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited and this is what I've always wanted, but moving continents by myself at the age of nineteen is a big adjustment.  

My mother, m/n , and my older sister, s/n , came here with me for a week to make sure I am adjusted into my club, my new apartment and life. 

Currently, I am at Ciutat Esportiva with my mom and sister. They stood behind the barcelona media team member, Sarah, who started to record my Juggling skills for the fcbfemeni instagram. A poster with myself was in the background of the recording, this is the traditional way of welcoming new Barcelona players onto the team.

(the poster behind you, y/n, during your first media day shoot is yourself doing the pose that joão félix is doing in this picture above^ with your other hand pointing to the badge!) 

Thankfully I didn't lose the ball while the media admin, Sarah, was recording or that would’ve been embarrassing. I tapped the ball high enough where I could catch it with my hands after the recording ended. Sarah instructed my mom and sister to come beside me to take pictures, as it was nearly time to wrap up the first media day I've completed for the club. 

I had on the 23/24 Barcelona kit with my all white Nike cleats. I didn’t have a number yet so the kit I'm wearing is numberless, but that is totally okay and expected. My mother wore a green maxi long sleeve dress and my sister wore jeans with a lavender cardigan. I couldn’t see their faces but I knew we were all smiling in the picture. Signing for this beautiful club is a dream come true. 

My father and other sister couldn’t come to Spain with me but they did say their good luck and goodbyes. My father is a college basketball coach and my sister, s/n l/n, is a d1 basketball player at another college and couldn’t spend a week away from her life back home.

The media shoot and signings this morning were all complete. Officially, I am a Barcelona Player and everyone is aware of it. I had to stay back at Ciutat after saying goodbye to my sister and mother, who left to go back to America, since I am about to meet my new teammates who are arriving for practice. 

My emotions were all over the place. My stomach felt empty and I continued to smile as a response to my nervousness. Meeting new people came with my career but I am a shy person. Would they like me as a person? What if the language barrier is a problem for a few teammates? A million questions ran through my head as I followed the sporting director and Sarah down a set of stairs and down a hallway I haven’t walked through yet. 

As we turned the corner, the talking and laughing coming from girls echoed down the hallway from the room at the end of the hallway. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for meeting my new teammates. 

Most of my new teammates are Spanish, meaning that the ones from their national team won the World Cup a few weeks ago. I remember being happy for them since this is the first time Spain’s women's team reached this accomplishment. 

Stepping into the room, I immediately noticed all of the girls putting on their cleats or playing around with their water bottles. This made me smile. Their laughter filled the air, mingled with the sound of cleats hitting the floor and random clapping coming from a young girl with brown curly hair. 

Alexia Putellas, the captain of the team and the best player in the world, noticed the entrance of y/n l/n first and smiled brightly. y/n smiled back in admiration for the leader. She knew that these were the faces she would be spending countless hours with on the field, striving together towards victory. Y/n had a hesitant smile as she stepped into the locker room more, ready to introduce herself.

“Hey girls! We have the last new player for the team, meet Y/n!” Sarah grabbed the team’s attention with excitement in her voice. 

All of the girls started to walk forwards towards me with smiles. The first woman, the one who had a locker close to the door, stood up and gave me a hug. I didn’t expect it so my hug back was a little awkward, but I don't think she noticed. 

“Hi, I'm Ingrid. It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Ingrid’s bright smile showed as she pulled back from the hug. I felt comforted by her almost immediately, if I had to guess, she's probably the mother or older sister of the team. 

“Hi, I'm y/n!” I said with excitement in my voice. 

“Oh we know who you are! It's so nice to meet you! I’m Aitana!” Aitana’s strong catalan accent was present as she spoke. I smiled brightly and a light blush showed on my face as she gave me a hug.

After meeting and talking to most people on the team. We all striked up a conversation about the upcoming season, what our goals are, other things we are interested in outside of football, and some teammates even offered to take me around Barcelona to get used to the city. I can’t wait to play with these lovely girls.

As I looked around the locker room, I caught the gaze of a girl. She had two dutch braids and had nice brown eyes. She sat across the room and seemed to be watching me…. with admiration? No that can’t be. She smiled at me lightly and I smiled at her back since she is the only girl I haven’t met yet.

Bruna, who's sitting beside the girl I'm smiling at, saw us and playfully nudged the girl’s shoulder, prompting her to approach me. With a shy smile, the girl stood up from her bench and stepped forward, this made me… nervous? The girl had an adorable smile and shes attract- 

“Cut it out! You just got here and already found a potential crush? Maybe get to know her first..? Or maybe focus on getting used to playing in Barcelona before starting potential relationships!” 

I criticize myself in my head. 

“Hiii, I’m Esmee. It's nice to meet you.” The girl, who I know as Esmee now, embraced me into a hug. She had a unique accent. Dutch? She was soft spoken and it comforted me more after getting along with the team. 

I hugged her back and almost realized how tight we held each other. However, that was overshadowed by some observing teammates that looked at us, while others exchanged knowing glances. Their expressions hinted at a deeper understanding of Esmee and I’s introduction. I know that they’ve met me today so I have to catch up on the inside jokes among the team, but did they notice something I didn't notice? 

"Hiii, I'm y/n! It's nice to meet you too Esmee." I blushed as I kept my hand on her right shoulder when we backed from the hug. I looked over at Ona Batlle to see her smiling at Esmee and I.

"Are you going to train with us today? You probably just finished your first day doing media things." Esmee smiled as she observed the playing kit I am still wearing. All of the other girls have their grey training kits on, so I stood out from the group.

"I am! I still have to change from this then I'll meet you guys on the pitch." I said nervously, afraid that I am wasting time from the girl's getting out on the field to train. I think Esmee noticed my nervousness as she lightly giggled.

"There's no worries. I did my first day stuff on Tuesday. I'm coming from PSV Eindhoven." Esmee said as I headed over to my assigned locker, where my grey training kit still laid.

Before the pictures started this morning for my signing, the sporting director showed me around campus so I wouldn't get lost. I had my assigned locker and everything I needed. I met Jona, my new coach, as well. He is a nice guy and he appreciated my skills as a striker. Sometimes having a coach can make or break your motivation in the sport, so knowing that my new coach is nice gave me relief.

"PSV Eindhoven that's so cool!" I say. I have a lot of knowledge with football clubs so I knew exactly which club that is.

"I'm coming from Washington Spirit." I continue. Esmee nods her head as I pick up my grey training kit and sit down in the seat between Salma and Mariona.

"Washington Spirit! Is that in Washington?" Keira's english accent spoke up. She looked up at me as she was tying her cleats.

"Yes it is!" I smile, believing that she is referring to Washington DC.

"That's so cool! You know, I went to Seattle one time-" Keira was cut off by everyone's laughter. She was confused as she saw me shook my head with a smile.

"Seattle is in Washington State. Washington Spirit is in Washington DC." I say. Everyone in the dressing room continues to laugh as Keira jokingly taps herself on the head.

2.5 hours later

The first day of training was a success. Nothing in this training was anything I wasn't familiar with, but the mentally is different. Everyone takes things a little more seriously here than back in Washington DC. However, I'm not complaining. I like it.

I wore the long sleeve grey training kit with the grey shorts today during training. I wasn't used to wearing another club's kits yet, so this new look was exciting to me.

After I put on the outfit that I originally came to Ciutat Esportiva with (photo with above), I grabbed my nike sports bag before seeing Esmee walk out of the dressing room at the same time as me.

I wasn't distracted at training by her, but I did look at her a few more times than what is necessary. I think Bruna noticed, as she stood beside me and smirked at me when I watched Esmee do some juggling.

Before Bruna left the dressing room around 5 minutes ago, I saw her mention something to Esmee. The dutch woman looked surprised, had a smirk on her face, then had a look of denial before Bruna left for the day.

"Hey." I said as I walked beside Esmee on the way out of campus.

"Hey!" Esmee smiled brightly as she looked back at me. That smile of hers is adorable, I don't think it will leave my mind.

"It's nice knowing someone who's starting their first season at the same time as me. I've never transferred clubs before so this is all new to me." I spoke as Esmee and I continued to walk where the parking lot is outside of Ciutat.

"It is nice. I saw 433 post your transfer announcement on instagram and I followed you, it's a relief to know I'm not the only one going through this." Esmee agreed with me. I have to remember to follow her back on instagram when I get home soon.

We both walked in silence as we headed out to the parking lot. The silence wasn't awkward at all as the sounds of cars driving by with the wind filled our ears.

"Are you doing anything later?" Esmee spoke up before I started to turn from the opposite direction from her, planning to walk to the rental car I have until I can buy a car of my own.

"No not much." I said. I didn't know much about Barcelona, so I just planned to eat by myself at some touristy restaurant later before spending the rest of the night watching Netflix documentaries.

"Do you want to go out to eat later? Ingrid and Mapi recommended me a few places when I met them on Tuesday. It'd be nice to have a friend here in Barcelona to go with." Esmee spoke.

I smiled as I nodded my head at her request. Having a friend here In Barcelona would be nice. Going out to eat by myself later wouldn't be as fun.

"Yes!" I said as I walked over to Esmee. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and pulled up the phone keypad.

"Just put your phone number in so I can text you. We can decide which restaurant and timing is best." Esmee spoke with her normal soft spoken voice. I typed in my number and listed my contact as "y/n :)" before giving her the phone back.

"That's great! See you later Esmee." I smiled as a I walked away to the car.

next chapter: redirection II

:)

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Capitol Punishment I

Haymitch x Reader

Summary: The Capitol continues to torture it’s victors no matter how long ago they won through punishment, exploitation, and worst of all; their relationships.

A story in which Haymitch’s lover is a plaything for the Capitol.

Warnings: Canon level violence, rape (though never explicit), alcohol, murder, systemic poverty, exploitation, rebellion (?), more reliance on movie than book

Word Count: 3.6k

Prologue II | Masterlist | Part II

You removed your arms from the boy from District 1’s shoulders and chest, allowing him to fall to the ground, his neck bleeding. You hear a cannon fire and the head game maker who you hadn’t bothered to learn the name of come over the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 67th Hunger Games, Y/N L/N!”

~

You don’t remember much after you were announced the winner. Just flashes of a peacekeeper meeting you in the arena, guiding you onto the ship. You remember sitting in the same seat they brought you to the arena in, District 1’s body laying maybe 10 feet from away. They hadn’t even bothered to give either of you the dignity of respectfully handling his body.

Your memory still consisted of brief flashes until Haymitch. You were laying on the table, medics flitting around you treating cuts, bruises, and a broken rib you had suffered at the hands of District 2’s male tribute. But when Haymitch burst in, you were leaping from the table, pushing away the medics who tried to restrain you, and throwing yourself into your mentor’s arms. You immediately began to sob when you reached him, breaking down in his arms. You truly had no one left but him.

“You’re safe, you’re safe,” he shushed, stroking your still tangled hair. “You’re going to be okay. It’s over.” You now realized those were merely empty comforts he uttered to try to calm you down. You would never feel safe or okay, the Capitol’s games never stopped.

Haymitch eventually convinced you to allow the Capitol people to do what they needed to do but he never left the room. When you were finally alone, you spoke about the games.

“I had no idea you had it in you,” he whispered. “You shocked everyone when you started killing careers close range. Even I didn’t do that.” You only shrugged, not saying anything. Even thought they were the supposed big, bad careers who had trained their whole lives for the arena, they were still just kids that you had killed. Recognizing how you felt, Haymitch spoke. “I know it’s not easy to kill someone, especially living with it but you have no idea how happy I am you’re alive,” he admitted. His baby blue eyes pleading with yours. “It was terrifying watching you in there.”

You weren’t sure what to say, all you knew is that the only person in the world you valued seemed to value you too. Still unable to verbalize your feelings you chose to show him. Scooting over in the surprisingly large hospital bed, Haymitch took the hint and stood from the chair he had pulled up, climbing into bed with you. He wrapped his arms around you as you clung to him like a scared animal. His chin rested on top of your head and he stroked your now smooth hair as he had before. “You’re going to learn some terrible things about being a victor and the thought of you having to learn them breaks my heart. But you have to learn them. The first one is that I care about you and that’s dangerous so don’t piss off Snow.”

Your heart fluttered at his blatant admission of his feelings for you. But you wanted to sob at the thought of how hellish your life will be if you can’t do something as simple as care about someone. “I care about you too,” you mumbled into his chest, still craving any form of gentle intimacy compared to the brutish Capitol.

You were interrupted a couple moments later by your stylist, Vodka. You had once found it hilarious that her parents named her after an alcohol that was mostly drank before Panem. “Ah my Victor!” she cheered, completely disregarding the man in your bed. “We have to get you ready for your ceremony! I’m so excited you finally get to use a Victor design. Everyone told me don’t bother making any Victor dresses until you’ve moved up a couple districts but look at you proving them wrong,” she cheered. You wanted to roll your eyes at her cheer and the fact that she didn’t even recognize the torture you went through. “Now, you,” she pointed at Haymitch as the rest of the stylist team came in, “out.”

“No,” you snapped. “He stays.”

Vodka huffed but didn’t say anything else, just gestured for him to move out of the way which he did. The team got to work on you, waxing and tweezing everything below your neck. They then applied your makeup until you were put in a sheer dress with strategically placed lace, leaving very little to the imagination. Once you realized what they were putting on you, you sent a frantic look to your mentor. “Woah what are you doing?” he demanded, gesturing to your dress. “Victor’s outfits don’t look like that,” he said. While tributes frequently appeared in the pageants in sheer clothing or even nude, Victors were usually crowned in suits and non-see through ball gowns.

“Snow said her sponsors that you,” Vodka said, giving a pointed stare to Haymitch, “secured want to see her. And see her they shall,” she declared, proudly looking at your dress.

You looked at Haymitch, terror likely splashed across your face. ‘What are these sponsors going to do to me?’

~

Your question was answered after your crowning ceremony. After the cameras were turned off and the citizens of the Capitol had gone home, you were brought to Snow’s office. The office was cold and isolating, making you want to run back to District 12 forever. “Congratulations Y/N,” he greeted with a simultaneously kind and sinister smile. “Your sponsors were very pleased with your performance. They are eager to… see more of you,” he said, eyes raking down your practically nude body.

Your blood ran cold. You had heard of this happening to the beautiful victors of the career districts, but why were you, a random girl from 12 who had nearly descended into savagery, been picked? “What?” was all you managed to get out.

Snow only smiled coyly, and you heard the doors open behind you. In walked an older man, maybe 50, with silver hair and an eccentric suit. You wouldn’t call him handsome or ugly, merely average and unremarkable. “Mr. Phillips here has paid a lot for your virginity.”

Your eyes widened at Snow’s comment. “What?!” you demanded as two peacekeepers grabbed your arms. “How do you-”

“There’s old, largely useless footage from District 12 that let us track your every move since you reached adolescence,” Snow simply explained, not caring that he was selling an 18 year old into sex-slavery. You had no time to respond as the peacekeepers dragged you away, Mr. Phillips following with an eager look on his face.

~

Haymitch wearily entered President Snow’s office. “Hello, Mr. Abernathy,” he greeted like a supervillain.

“President Snow,” Haymitch greeted, gritting his teeth. He wanted to strangle this man with his bare hands for everything he had done to him simply because of the way he won his games.

“I understand you’ve become close with our victor,” Snow said.

“I don’t-” Haymitch began to lie, ready to protect you. But he was quickly cut off by holographic video of himself in bed with you from earlier that day.

“I’m sure you don’t have to remind you about your family’s deaths,” Snow said in a domineering tone. Haymitch clenched his jaw at the president’s words. “This is Y/N now,” Snow continued, the image changed to a live feed of Y/N with a man on top of her, doing unspeakable things to her. Haymitch saw red as he observed the tears running down her face, the man’s hand clamped over her mouth, muffling her whimpers of pain. “And believe me, if you so much as step a toe out of line, her clients will become much worse.”

“What do you want? Me to stop seeing her? I’ll do it, I’ll go back to the alcoholic who only comes here for the booze and desserts,” Haymitch said. Inside he was begging for any way to stop Y/N’s torture. And while he knew it’d hurt her for him to completely turn his back on her, he had to do it if it meant sparing her from this fate.

“I couldn’t care less about you,” Snow dismissed. “Like you said you’re the drunk no one takes seriously. I don’t care if you have a relationship with her, her fate is sealed whether you break her heart or not. The question is do you care enough about her to spare her from her life getting worse? So by all means, fall in love, have a relationship with her. You, after all, are the only one I’ll allow to protect her.” Haymitch was seething at the audacity of this guy for trading the two victors’ pain for the other. “That’ll be all, I’ll be monitoring the both of you for your decision,” Snow smiled before the peacekeepers led Haymitch out.

~

You had finally been released by that man after god knows how long. It was like being removed from the arena again. You just remember flashes of a peacekeeper leading you into a car and being led into the tributes’ building. In the lobby sat Haymitch and once again, just like after the games, you threw myself into his arms, sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

He tried to lead you upstairs but you were immobilized by your grief for your former life and any chance you had at happiness. So he settled on scooping you up bridal style and bringing you up to your room. He sat down on the bed as you nuzzled your face into his neck, sobbing. “I saw, and I’ll kill him, and Snow, for doing this to you,” Haymitch whispered.

“Why me?” you cried. “Why won’t they just let me go?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” Haymitch blurted without thinking.

Both froze, realizing what Haymitch said. Y/N pulled away from his neck. “You think I’m beautiful?” she asked, tears in her eyes.

Haymitch’s blue eyes locked on hers. “Of course you do,” he admitted. “So does everyone else here and in 12.” You felt your heart flutter, no one had ever bothered to call you beautiful before. The boys in school had simply called you hot while Mr. Phillips had moaned that you were sexy. So you pressed your lips to Haymitch’s, tasting the every present alcohol on his lips.

Haymitch responded to the kiss, allowing your lips to mold to his. Inside he was ecstatic and relieved that you had been the one to make the first move.

When they pulled away their gazes were locked on each other until Haymitch spoke. “I promise I will protect you as best you can.”

“I will too,” you promised, kissing him once again.

~

Once they returned to 12 you were brought to your house in Victor’s Village. It was a beautiful house, much more luxurious than any place you had seen before the games. But it also felt hallow and empty. You felt completely isolated even though Haymitch was right next door.

After being watched and surrounded for god knows how long you wanted to sleep in “your” house alone the first night. You fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow but you were met with the most terrifying moments in both the Capitol and the arena. You were surrounded by dead tributes, blood covering you, bringing you to the realization that you killed them. Snow stepped over their bodies, dragging you towards a group of Capitol men who you knew wanted to do unspeakable things to you.

You were suddenly jolted from your nightmare by Haymitch who you found shaking you, screaming that it wasn’t real. “Hay-Haymitch?” you stuttered. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you screaming,” he admitted.

You immediately felt mortified, blood rushing to your cheeks realizing you disturbed the peace. “Oh- I’m sorry for waking you, you didn’t-”

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t asleep anyways,” he soothed.

“Can you stay with me?” you asked, not wanting to be alone in the dark.

You were surprised to find that he looked relieved at your request. “Whatever you want,” he agreed. He climbed into bed with you, wrapping an arm around you, gently pulling you down to lay on his chest. “Have you visited friends yet?” he asked, his chin once again on top of your head as he stroked your hair.

“No, I didn’t really have friends after my dad died,” you mumbled, feeling empty. “Mom died in childbirth, he died in a mine explosion.”

You felt Haymitch sigh. “I’m sorry you’ve known more loss in your life than anyone should.”

You shrugged. “It’s okay, it’s all I know.”

“The good news now is that you can buy anything you want,” he tried to console. You both knew it was a meager consolation prize for the trauma. “You’ll never have to know cold or hunger again.”

You didn’t want to feel hollow or scared anymore so you allowed yourself to divulge in the fantasy Haymitch was trying to create for you. “I’ll buy every cake in the bakery,” you mused. “When I had to buy bread, as I was waiting for it I used to stare at the cakes. I was so jealous of the bakers, the mayor, and the peacekeepers since they were the only ones who could afford it. And you I guess.”

Haymitch chucked at that. “I do like cake,” he agreed.

You eventually fell asleep, the nightmares were far less scary but still there. But rather than being woken up by your screams, you were woken up by birds singing outside your window. Rather, Haymitch was woken up by the birds while you were woken up by peppered kisses on your hairline.

~

Over the next two weeks Haymitch and you became closer. You had both been alone for so long that it was a breath of fresh air to have real human intimacy. You still couldn’t sleep alone so you spent most nights in either your or Haymitch’s bed.

We spent our mornings together until Haymitch would go to the The Hob to get alcohol. you had tried to get him to try getting sober or at least drink less but you could see he seemed truly terrified of having to deal with the demons that lurked just past his drunken haze so you let it go. He never wantedyou to be seen at the Hob, saying that it was dangerous foryou now. So you stayed at home, tidying up a bit when you heard the door open. “I’m in the kitchen,” you called to Haymitch, already getting out a glass for him.

you heard footsteps coming towards you, now realizing that there were too many and they were too heavy to be Haymitch’s. you turned, greeted by several peacekeepers with their leader standing in front, helmet off. you didn’t recognize the one with his helmet off and their uniforms were all too pristinely white to be from District 12. you took a step backed, fearing what these men would do or say to me. “Ms. L/N, we need you to come with us,” he ordered in a commanding voice.

“Why?” you asked, your voice shaking.

“You’ve been requested by some Capitol citizens,” he explained, his voice gaining an angry edge. “You’ll be brought to the Capitol and returned here once you’ve fulfilled your duties.”

“No,” you uttered in terror, tears coming to your eyes. “No, please I can’t go.”

“President Snow’s orders, Miss,” the peacekeeper dismissed as two of them grabbed you.

“No! Haymitch!” you began to shriek in terror but your screams were quickly cut off with a hand clamping over your mouth and a needle in your neck.

“This’ll just calm you down,” the man explained. “And no one can hear you,” he taunted.

you began to sob as you lost consciousness, slumping against the peacekeepers carrying you out of your home.

~

When Haymitch returned to Y/N’s house he knew immediately something was wrong. All the footprints on the ground indicated that. He ran into the house, throwing open the door. “Y/N!” he called, searching through the house. When he got to the kitchen he saw a knocked over chair and a shattered glass. Haymitch felt his heart drop, realizing the Capitol got her.

He continued to run around frantically, praying he was wrong and maybe she just had an accident. When he made it to his house, hoping that she went over there for whatever reason, he was greeted by two peacekeepers in the living room. “Where the fuck is she?” he seethed.

The peacekeepers gave no indication that they had heard him except for one stepping up to him, handing Haymitch an envelope before wordlessly leaving, the other one following him out.

The envelope had a Capitol seal, igniting rage and guilt in his chest. He promised Y/N he’d protect her and he failed. Tearing open the note, he read.

Haymitch,

Y/N L/N’s services have been requested in the Capitol. Pending citizens’ satisfaction she will be returned to you in three days. I suggest you take that time to indulge your addiction, it will keep her safe.

President Snow

Haymitch crumpled up the paper angrily. Why did Snow insist on punishing him for his games even 15 years after? He wished he’d died in that arena. Wished he’d never become close with Y/N so she couldn’t be used against him. At that thought he felt incredibly guilty.

Not knowing what else to do and needing an outlet for his rage and fear, he picked up one of the many empty liquor bottles around his home and threw it. It exploded against the wall, raining shards everywhere.

Haymitch continued, drinking and throwing things until he fell to the ground, drunk and exhausted.

~

When you were able to return home after almost three whole days of being used, they simply left you shaking at Haymitch’s door like an orphaned child. Fortunately you had the sense, through your traumatized haze, to push the doorbell. “Oh my god, Y/N!” Haymitch exclaimed when he opened the door. He had to practically drag you inside but as soon as he did he realized his home wasn’t in a state you could be in.

So with you still in a borderline catatonic state, he scooped you up and brought you next door to your house. He placed you on the sofa before going to light a fire in the fireplace. Once he was done he took in your appearance. Makeup the stylist had no doubt put on you was smudged, he could see lingerie from underneath your sheer “robe” both of which were torn and barely staying on. He could also see bruises and hickies littered your body.

“Oh Y/N…” he began with an empathetic tone, stroking your hair. “I’m so sorry.” Haymitch genuinely felt guilty for not being there for you.

You didn’t say anything for a minute, simply staring down at the floor. “There were so many,” you suddenly said. “They locked me in a dark room and just brought them in one by one. I didn’t think it would ever stop.” Haymitch was once again seeing red but he made no indication of it, not wanting to spook you. He was sure you had seen more than your fair share of violent, angry men in the past couple days. “I met Finnick,” you suddenly said as if you were telling a friend about a vacation you took. “He’s like me, he said that he gets paid in secrets and I can too if I hold my ground before they… y’know.”

Haymitch’s heart not only broke for you, it filled with anger. They made you so powerless and your life so miserable that now you were excited to be paid with gossip while Snow actually got paid and still sold you into sex-slavery.

~

As the years went on you settled in as best you could into your new life. Snow tried his best to terrorize you and Haymitch, sometimes you were literally ripped from Haymitch’s side and bed in the dead of night. It worked on Haymitch who was terrified to leave you alone, it only hardened you. You allowed yourself to become a sweet, demure, Panem loving Victor to the public but behind closed doors, you became a force to be reckoned with. The other former victors had known you as a ferocious tribute who had killed every career in your arena. But as you met them over the next couple years they realized what was happening to you. Why you’d disappear randomly, coming back with hickies and bruises. And when you weren’t off being sold, everyone knew you were Haymitch’s. He was always near you, an arm usually around your waist if you weren’t in front of Capitol people.

You had initially been eager to befriend other victors but as your torture continued and you watched your kids be slaughtered, you came to only trust Haymitch and Finnick who knew exactly what you were going through. The Capitol also made a show of parading you around, both you and Finnick often eclipsing the tributes.

Prologue II | Masterlist | Part II

[m4tthewsgf]

Moonlight (pt 1)

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo x y/n

A story where a boy who is terrified of love lays his eyes on a girl who's determined to save everyone else, but herself.

prologue, pt2

Warnings: language, death of a loved one

_______________

“As long as the moonlight shines, you're not unseen or unknown. You are just as important as the moonlight and as long as you shine, you'll never not be enough” I repeated to myself as I gathered my books and put them in my school bag with shaky hands. I have found myself repeating that exact phrase over and over again for the past few months, hoping it would bring me some kind of solace. Well, it didn’t, but I just couldn’t stop myself from doing so. It was the last thing I had from him.

First days of school always made me anxious, however, this one specifically was totally different from the rest of them. I felt as if my whole life had been demolished and reconstructed within 6 months. Actually, that would be a lie; it wasn’t reconstructed at all, I just pretended that it was. There were still obvious pieces of my shattered heart around, pieces of myself that were left behind at home, pieces of myself that died with him the night he did. I felt as lost as ever, as empty as ever. I didn’t know how to move on. Shit, I haven’t even processed the fact that he’s not here anymore. I didn't think I could feel safe again, happy again. Genuinely happy.

I stared at my new, blank, almost empty bedroom and sighed deeply with a heavy, hollow heart; a feeling that had been living in the empty rooms of the beating organ that kept me alive for months, rooms where they were once filled with laughter and joy. I didn’t feel like I could be strong anymore. I didn’t feel like I was someone. No, y/n. Remember.

“As long as the moonlight shines, you're not unseen or unknown. You are just as important as the moonlight and as long as you shine, you'll never not be enough” his voice echoed through my head. I shook my thoughts away and finally grabbed my bag and headed towards the kitchen where my mom was. I had to be okay.

“This is how you’re going to school?” she judged while her criticising glare scanned me from head to toe. It hurt, but she wasn’t completely wrong; I had no makeup on, didn’t even attempt to style my hair or find a cute outfit to wear like I would normally do, having always wanted to make a good first impression. I couldn’t bring myself to care this time. I just threw one of my brother’s old hoodies and a pair of leggings, my dark circles and tired eyes being the only accessories.

“Yes,” I bluntly replied and went to grab an apple for lunch before leaving. I didn't want to deal with her at the time because if I did, I would corrupt into tears right then and there. In front of her. Embarrassing.

The moment my feet stepped out of my door, I put my headphones on and started blasting music from my phone. I’d rather be consumed by that than my own thoughts. Not that I didn’t like music. In fact, it has been my pharmacy and my escape from reality these months and one of the things I’ve been passionate about my entire life. It’s just that I had lost interest in it for a while.

School wasn’t that far away from my house, only 10 minutes by foot. Yet, the walk there felt like an eternity. At least it was a pretty walk. The birds were already singing, the bees were already searching for pollen in the already bloomed flowers and the aroma of wet grass could be smelled. Even though spring wasn’t my favourite season, there were some elements of it that were truly beautiful, just like everything else in life. Even the things you don’t really like can be beautiful, you just have to accept the fact that they have that potential.

I faked a smile. I had to be strong. I had to be okay.

“Everything is okay. You're okay,” I whispered as I reached the corridors of the school. I took a deep breath and finally stepped in after a moment or two of hesitation.

There were already kids in every corner of the school. Some were on their phones, some with their friends and some already making out with their partner.

‘It’s 7 in the morning,’ I thought to myself with disgust and went to look for my locker. I ended up doing circles around the same corner of the building.

234. 234. 234.

Where the fuck is that goddamn locker?

I probably have seemed like a creep or a weirdo as I was looking for it, because a lot of eyes were on me and a few giggles could be heard from, what I assumed to be, the popular kids. My heart tightened at the realisation, but I still shot them a smile. Not a sorry one or an awkward one. A nice, genuine smile. Soon later, the chattering stopped. Before I could continue my search, a voice was heard right next to me.

“Do you need any help?” a guy from my right asked and I jumped.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, you just looked very lost,” he chuckled at my reaction. I placed my hand on my chest, trying to calm my breath and heart beat down while chuckling faintly with him.

“Do you do that often?” I sighed and looked up at him. His eyes were pretty, a shade of brown I had never seen before. A golden brown, just like honey.

“I guess you’ll have to find out,” he shrugged and I hummed. We just looked at each other for a few moments before I spoke again.

“I actually do need some help, I’m looking for my locker. It’s 234,” I said, shyly.

“Oh, so we’re neighbours!” he beamed and motioned me to come with him. He was nice.

“I’m 232,” he added and looked down at me. I smiled.

Our lockers were just down the hallway, a spare one the only thing that separated them from each other’s.

“I'll see you around often, then” I joked while trying to unlock it and failing miserably. I couldn't make myself seem more of a fool than at that moment.

“Here,” he giggled, “let me do it,” the boy reached his hand towards the little piece of paper I held that had written down the code.

“I'm Austin, by the way” he smiled and unlocked the locker for me.

“I'm y/n,” I grinned back at him. “Thanks for the locker,” I tilted my head towards it and reached for the books in my bag to place them inside. He kept looking at me and stayed with me, even though his friends were calling out for him from around the corner.

We kept talking for a while until the bell rang. That was when anxiety washed all over me. I'd rather go back home than get inside a class with other teenage people I didn't even know and who'd probably be judging me just from my appearance. I didn't even know where the classroom was.

“I'm sorry but, could you show me where Mrs Whitley teaches? I'll probably get lost if I go on my own,” I shyly asked him, already feeling like a burden to him.

“It’s the class right there,” he pointed his finger to the door right across from where we were. I thanked him and quickly got on my feet. The last thing I wanted was to be late.

Austin was a nice kid. He seemed kind, and rich, something I definitely wasn’t. I felt small in front of him, almost like an ant that was met with a boot, but his soft features eased my nerves. Plus, I needed friends, even though socialising was the last thing I wanted to do. I honestly didn’t even feel like talking or even existing. But, that’s just how life is; you got to get over shit, shallow it, bury it six feet under the ground and keep the show going.

When I reached the classroom, cold sweat gathered on my forehead. Too many kids. Way too many. Too pretty, too rich, too not me. I was intimidated. I felt my breath hitch as I scanned for any empty seats. My shoulders relaxed when I found one next to a boy that wasn’t like the rest. He wasn’t surrounded by other people or talking loudly. He was instead focused on something under the desk, his eyebrows furrowed and tongue slightly sticking out in concentration with messy, brown hair plastered all over his forehead. Maybe he wouldn’t mind.

“Is the seat taken?” I approached him and his head immediately turned towards me. He just looked at me startled, his eyes darting to my features and clothes. He didn’t say anything. Small. I felt small again.

“I- I guess I’ll sit somewhere else, sorry” I sheepishly apologised with my gaze on the floor, too embarrassed to even look at him. I was about to walk away when I heard the screech of the chair. I turned my head to him, seeing him having pulled out the chair for me and having returned his attention to whatever he was doing before I interrupted him. I sighed in relief and placed my bag on the floor before sitting next to him.

“Thanks,” I whispered, “I’m y/n,” I smiled at him.

“And why would I care?” he harshly replied, making my jaw drop.

“O-Oh I just- I thought you might want to know,” I innocently said. Okay. Not as different as the others, it seems.

“Well, I don’t. This isn’t kindergarten, sweetheart. No one’s friends with anyone here, grow up,” he chuckled at my cluelessness, his eyes never meeting mine. I just shook my head.

“I was just being nice,” I mumbled, my fake confidence slowly disappearing.

“Go somewhere else to be nice to ‘cause it ain’t working on me, angel” he cocked with a smirk. I just stared at him with an open mouth.

Before I could reply to that, the teacher entered the class, making the whole class stop talking. I knew what was coming and I wanted to crawl up into a ball and pretend like I wasn’t there.

“So, where’s our new student? Come on honey, we don’t bite!” she looked around the room, trying to decipher a new face.

‘You may not, but he might’ I thought to myself, talking about the boy that was sitting next to me. I chuckled at my thought.

I hesitantly raised my hand and breathed in deeply.

“There you are! What’s your name, sweetie?”

“It’s uh,” I trailed off and saw a couple of heads turning towards my direction, “It’s y/n y/l/n.”

“And what brings you to Somerville, y/n?”

‘My brother died,’ I almost blurted out, but thankfully caught myself before doing so. I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I didn’t want people to pay attention to me and my problems. I didn’t want the attention. I didn’t need any of it.

“My mom found a good job here, so we moved out from Long Island,” I lied. I hated lying. I hated liars. But I’d rather lie about that than have people feel bad for me.

The teacher went on talking about my home place, telling me random facts about it that I didn’t care about. I just nodded at whatever she was saying just to not come off as rude and disrespectful. I wasn’t listening. I was just acting like I was.

What was the point of any of this? School is shit, high school even more so. I didn't even have any plans for college or my future in general so, why was I even going through this? Nothing fucking mattered.

“Made friends with our photographer, I see” she suddenly commented, making me snap out of my thoughts. I felt the boy next to me stiffen at that. “Matthew right there has been making our yearbooks this whole time, isn’t that right?” I turned to look at him with a surprised expression. My eyes darted down to his hands that were still under the desk, which were holding a digital camera. I was surprised. And intrigued.

“Yeah,” he breathed and shot an almost insulting glare at the so sweet teacher, before lowering his gaze once again at his gadget. I almost slapped him across the face for that. I felt bad for her.

----------

The day was miserable. I was exhausted. The whole masking-my-feelings thing made me ill, both mentally and physically. I felt like throwing up. I didn’t know why, though. Maybe because I haven’t eaten properly in weeks, or maybe from my visible exhaustion. Whatever it was, I felt sick.

I sat alone at lunch, looking soullessly at the apple in front of me before I pulled out my notebook. I could hear my stomach rumble from hunger, but I knew that if I actually ate the fruit, I would actually throw up. And that was something I really didn’t want to do. As I started writing on it, I took a glimpse at the cafeteria, observing how other kids laughed and smiled with their company. I smiled too. I loved seeing people happy. Maybe I could experience it as well one day again. But, who on earth would want to willingly spend their time with me? No one. Not even my own mother does.

A clicking sound startled me. I looked towards it, seeing Matthew nearby, with his camera again in his hands. He stared blankly at me, seeing that I had heard him taking a photograph of something. I looked behind me, seeing what that something could be. I sighed at myself. There was a gorgeous, blonde girl who had a smile that radiated so much warmth and love that I almost felt close to tears. She was breathtaking. The complete opposite of whatever the fuck I was. I turned my head back towards him, him still being in the same exact place, with his eyes stuck on me. I gave him a soft, sad smile, and continued writing and scribbling on my notebook.

“So you're a nerd too?” Matthew suddenly asks me.

“Uh, no, I don't think so,” I kindly said.

“Well, you look like one,” he laughed. I just looked at him blankly.

“There's nothing wrong with that,” I simply replied and went back into my sketching. He just stood there, looking at me.

“Anything else?” I asked, slightly irritated at his constant, unapologetic staring.

“Well, I think-”

“Y/n!” Austin greeted from behind Matthew. I smiled at him, mentally thanking him from saving me from Matthew's presence.

“Hi, how was class?” I asked with a soft voice. “Boring as fuck, I almost fall asleep,” he faked a yawn, “You got anyone to sit with? You can come to our table, if you want to,” he added.

I shot a glare at Matthew who was observing the whole interaction, not having interfered once.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I happily accepted and gathered my stuff before going to sit with them.

------//------

tag list: @h3arts4harry @iluvmattyb @alorsxsturn @junnniiieee07 @buenolover @frankdelrayy

[kelsstars]

Now Or Never - Carl Grimes x Y/N (gender-neutral)

Warnings: SLOW BURN, smut (18+), receiving!y/n, receiving!carl, fingering, protected sex, loosing first times, angst (miscommunication), finding comfort, slight jealous!carl, slight jealous!y/n, swearing. All teenage characters are set to be 18-19, so a bit different than the original timeline.

Summary of the prologue: You and Carl have known each other since kindergarten. Yet after the whole world fell down in front of your eyes, the chances of meeting again would be slim to nothing. After 10~11 years of looking for a stable group of survivors, you found and now live comfortably in a place called Alexandria, with your friends Ron, Mikey and Enid. Until one day, when you sneak out, you come across two strangers from a group near your home and you happen to recognize a familiar face.

A/N: This will be one of my first fanfics that contains a first perspective Y/N gender neutral reader as I want to satisfy everyone with this! Feel free to send requests. :))

Words: idk but it’s beyond long. 😞

“Fuck..” You say as you look down at your leg. You were just ambushed by a zombie, barely getting away but luck is on your side today, as the walker got caught up on a trap you had previously placed some days before. Though, it did managed to rip your jeans a little, your breath quickens as you search for any scratch or bites. You were safe, but you never knew when you couldn’t.

‘I can’t do this, I need to get back inside. What if Ron finds out I went out?!’ You mentally told yourself.

Your friends in Alexandria were rather nice most of the times, but Ron had.. problems. His dad wasn’t the Dad Of The Year, nor would he be close to that title, so you believed it rubbed on Ron as years went on. You and Ron had always multiple fights about getting to explore outside the safety of the walls. Not only would he always bring up your traumatic upbringing up until Alexandria to make you stay inside, he would also comment that you would use it as an excuse to smoke cigarettes. Well, he wasn’t far off from the second argument, but you never actually smoke. Near the ‘safe zone’ of Alexandria, you would always light up a cigarette and leave it to burn on a empty tombstone. You don’t remember how long you had done it for, but you knew exactly why you did it. It was the grave of what you once were.

You reminisced of times when you went to school and you had to sit by your only friend that your memory refused to block. Carl Grimes. He was the sweetest boy since kindergarten until you were about 8 and he was 7, right before shit went down. You always wondered in the dead of night if he had lived as far as you did, and if he was dead, where was he buried. You wanted to be buried a long beside him, he was your first love after all, you two were inseparable, reading comic books every moment you had got in break, made friendships bracelets that you had eventually lost after 3 days because y’know how kids are, but your favorite time of all, making sleepovers at each others houses so you could stay up and watch the stars from his yard. It wasn’t his interest to begin with, you had always loved the stars and wanted to grow up as an astronaut, and when Carl had heard about such, he started to like them too because of you. You thought it was adorable and that was probably when you started to like him, but the day you were about to invite to your place for another sleepover, you saw him leaving school with his mom and another man, who you don’t remember well his face nor name, but you know that after he took Carl into his car, you never saw him again.

After the apocalypse started, you came running home as chaos was running right behind you. Cars crashing, people screaming and being eaten right in front of you, of course that can change someone for the worse. You arrived home with your dad immediately handing you a baggage with your stuff, food and water and you never looked back.

It would be nice to continue your inner dialogue and how you had lost your dad and future people as you watch the cigarette burn on the empty grave. But you hear voices not far from where you stood.

“Dad, where are you going? Wasn’t Alexandria that way?” A calm yet a slight raspy voice questions their parental figure, you figure he’s around Ron’s age since you have heard the teenagers in Alexandria voices change and go through changes.

‘Sigh’ - You hear. - “You have no idea, WE have NO idea these people are. They could be murderers for all I know, and my main mission is to keep everyone in the group at bay and in a safe place.” A much more deeper and scratchy voice coming behind you. You rushed to hide inside an open tree near the grave but the fallen leaves crunch under your steps, giving away your presence.

“That doesn’t answer my ques- Wait. Did you hear that?” You hear as the supposedly younger male clocks his gun. Welp, you fucked up this time.

You start praying to every god you can remember, even when you have never believed in such things, it’s not like you had the time to focus on religion after everything that has happened to you. But this was different, this is one the few times you had stumbled upon danger and unfortunately, you saw no way out unless a miracle happens.

“Carl, how many do you think there are hidden here?” Carl?! Huh. Ironic how you were thinking about your childhood friend and now you were getting hunted down by the person with the same name.

“I heard few footsteps, so I’d say a walker, I can handle it. Don’t worry.” The older figure, whose presumably his dad, gives a quick okay and you hear as he walks away and this supposed ‘Carl’ slowly approaches your hiding spot. You held your hands up to your mouth, hoping no breath or sound came out of your body.

“Pst pst psst..” You hear ‘Carl’ call out to you. How dare he?! But then again, he thinks you’re a walker and not a person, so being cat called should be least of your proble-

You look up to see a gun pointed right at your face outside the tree hole. For a few moments you can’t tell if you’re about to cry, scream or do anything. You’re just shocked.

“Who are you?” The male asks, obviously not in a friendly mood. It takes a few minutes to indulge and zone back into reality as you observe his body up and down. He has long brown hair, with a fringe that covers his right patched eye. Speaking of it, it seems he only had one baby blue eye, as his eyebrows furrowed, slight veins appear on his hands and he looks pretty wearing a sheriff’s hat. He had sweet little freckles that reminded you of someone you once loved and knew. Wait. You could not believe your own vision as you slowly piece together who the person in front of you might be.

“Carl?” You pause. “C-Carl Grimes?”

You watch as Carl’s eyes widen not breaking eye-contact, his face goes from shocked to an aggressive look once more, yet his voice sounds confused.

“How do you know my name?” His grasp on the gun seems to tighten.

“It’s me, Carl, Y/N (Y/L/N)! Remember us in school? We used to watch stars together before everything went to shit, do you not remember-“ You suddenly stay quiet.

The boy immediately lowers his gun, even tugging it back in his gun holder. You could tell he was about to cry because he stood there biting his lip with watery eyes. You hurriedly get up from your tree spot and hug him. Neither of you could not wrap your head around that either of you were alive.

Oh, how you wish you could kiss him and just break down on his sweet warms arms.

You break out of your thoughts as your hear Carl’s dad, Rick. It was nice to see a familiar face that reminded you of your old life, of course Rick was skeptical as to why you two were hugging, since he could not recognize you with everything that happened, but after a walk to Alexandria, where Rick’s group had already arrived, Rick seemed to have recognized you. There were many new people. You recognized a lot of their names, but for personal reasons. It made Carl amused to know you were involved in his life once again. And so were you! Having Carl communicate with your friends and his group bounding well with everyone in the community. Yet you have noticed that Enid seemed to get closer and closer to Carl, which set you off.

Presumably, from your calculations of days, 4 months had passed and your relationship with Carl had, unfortunately, rapidly declined. You would always have a quiet time every time you were paired up together in scavenger hunts, or even when the teenagers all met up to play games together. It broke your heart to know that for the first two weeks with him being back, you had catch up on everything you lived through all these years. And then it stopped. Or well, Carl stopped. He started to become more rude to you, every time you would show up, he would ignore you or lock himself up on his room. Him, Rick and Michonne had decided that the house you were staying at more comfortable for Carl’s young sister, Judith. You were happy at first but now it was hell to live through. As weeks went by, since Carl had stopped talking to you, it was the same routine of him running quickly to his room every single time he saw you.

It pissed you off.

Not only because your childhood friend and crush was avoiding you, but he still hung out with your other friends. Especially, Enid. You would always catch them reading comic books next to each other and even, listening to loud music right in Carl’s room, which happened to be right next to yours. You still liked Enid, she was your friend after all, but you never thought she would like Carl back because she would always talk about Ron to you. The day you confronted her about it around a month ago, and she admitted that she liked Carl and no longer shared feelings with Ron. If that wasn’t the tipping point of your jealousy, you don’t know what was.

In ‘revenge’, you started to hang out with Ron a lot more. But in reality, you didn’t even realize how much closer you had gotten, especially since you had a rocky friendship in the past. You were still a bit skeptical of his behavior but this was until one day you were playing checkers on your bed with Ron.

“Hey, Y/N, mind passing me that small butter knife over there?” Ron looked up from the game, clearly he must have been bored of not playing other games in your house because you had given most to Carl when he first settled in.

“Yeah, sure.” You lean over to reach your bed side table to grab the pen. “Is there a reason why?”

“Yeah, let’s write each others names on the big tree outside where you always hide away!” Ron seemed a bit too excited over this idea. He even turned his face away, from embarrassment of how enthusiastic he must have sounded to you.

You laugh at the idea. “Is this not what Michonne and Rick said they did so their love could live through forever?” You remembered when Daryl found out their initials on the tree they had carved their names on. You were always a fan of Daryl’s comments on Michonne and Rick’s relationship. In fact, he was not against it, but he still seemed against the idea of romantic affection being shown in front of him.

“Well, of course not. Pfft! We’re just friends…, right?” Ron sounded hopeful at the end. Too hopeful for your response to say contrary. You noted to yourself that his face seemed to turn red and redder the more you took to answer.

“Oh Ron, of course! You and your family first welcomed me with open arms and you have been one of my closest friends here.” You stopped as his face was giving the ‘continue’ look. “But-”

His face immediately went serious, but he started to put the checkers aside and slowly approach you as your back hit the headboard of you bed.

“It’s okay, Y/N, I’ve noticed how you’ve been approaching me and I can’t let you go. I’ve waited for this moment for years. These feelings didn’t disappear even when I was into Enid! Please, Y/N. Give me a chance to make you feel alright.” Ron says it so confidently, not even you have the words to say anything.

A brief silence occurs.

“I see the way you looked at Carl when you first arrived. I guessed immediately, he was the first love you talked about so much for the first few years you were here.” Your eyes widen. Shit, is this really the time to bring up your past right now?

“Ron, look. I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings, but is this the time to talk about him? You know more than anyone even I get disgusted by that nam-“

“LIES!” Ron suddenly screams at you. You flinched a little, it has been awhile since you had a fight so you forgot what he sounded like angry. “I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HIM! DON’T TRY TO TRICK ME.” He threw away the butter knife under your bed.

He had a point. Your head filled with butterflies whenever you saw him smile or having fun. Especially when you were out on your runs, where he would do a little smile whenever he killed a zombie cleanly.

“Y/N! One. Chance.” Ron looked up at you, cooping your cheeks with his hands. He was going to kiss you. Your first kiss was going to be Ron. Just the thought of that happening made your stomach twist, never have you thought of Ron in a romantic way, and it surely wouldn’t change now!

The door burst opens mid inner dialogue and Ron leaning to kiss you. It was.. Carl?

If you didn’t remember seeing Carl that upset, you sure would remember now. He seemed more hungry for murder as he looked at you when he first found you in the tree, a while back. He immediately pounces on top of Ron, preparing to get into a physical fight with him. But why was Carl this mad?

“WHAT THE FUCK, GRIMES?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” Ron tries to push Carl off of him but to no avail.

“NO ANDERSON, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! DON’T YOU HAVE ENID OR A DEAD WALKER OUTSIDE TO BE SMOOCHING?” Carl basically barks back at Ron, both holding each other by the collar.

“OH, YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ENID? YOU BASICALLY COME HERE, STEAL MY EX AND THEN BREAK MY CRUSH’S HEART? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!”

“DON’T CONFUSE ME FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING DAD. HE’S THE ASSHOLE, NOT ME.”

“YEAH? WELL, WHY DO YOU KEEP AVOIDING Y/N, HUH! YOU ACTED SO CARING AND THEN YOU JUST STOPPED. YOU BROKE THEIR HEART, BASICALLY PLAYING WITH THEIR FEELINGS. BUT THEN ACTING ALL SWEET TO MY GIR-“ Carl cuts him off before he continues spouting his thoughts.

“YOUR GIRL? YOU BROKE UP WITH HER! AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL, WHY I AVOID Y/N, IT WAS YOU WHO TOLD ME IT WOULD MY WEIRD FEELINGS GO AWAY. THEY GOT STRONGER.” Carl and Ron kept going back and forth and-

Weird feelings? Wait.

“What?” You spoke out loud your own thoughts, the boys turn to look at you. Carl’s face turns slightly red as he realized what he just confessed. Ron looks confused and embarrassed.

“I… I need to talk to Carl. Now.” Your demeanor turns serious. This was it, you had your shot to talk through everything with Carl.

Now or never.

“But-“ You cut off Ron before he could finish.

“But nothing, Ron. Please, see your way out, and Carl, sit by me, this instant.”

Ron takes defeat as he walks out of the room, leaving with a death glare to Carl. Carl takes a minute to finally have the courage to sit by you. Finally, you can talk, face to face.

“Carl… Why have you been avoiding me? Be honest.” Your voice cracks mid sentence, you try to hide your tears from your so beloved who finally stood next to you.

“You want the full story?” You nod. “Alright.” He sighs before continuing.

“Ever since we started living together, it has been great, I got new friends, I got all my family from the outside and now all have their own houses and live comfortably. And especially-“ he carefully approached his hands near to yours. “I got to see and live in the same household as you.”

“I missed you so so much. And that day, it was one of the only days I have cried ever since this ordeal has begun. I cried when people died, but seeing that something from my old past life before this happened, gave me hope that there is good in this world, if you were still alive.” He scooted a little close to you, as he maintained eye contact. “I had realized as the small time we updated our lives and I got to know you again, that I fell for you. Once again.”

Your face feels itself warming up to his words, but you still had questions to ask.

“But why were you ignoring me, if you fell for me?”

“I…” His whole appearance changes. He starts twitching and crossing his legs. “I started feeling something weird happening to me. Like, I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw you but, it was something else.”

“What was it?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t.. say.” He looks away from you for the first time. “I went to Ron and Mickey about it, they said, I was ‘horny or excited’. I started having perverted thoughts about you and.. I felt bad because they both said that girls feel creeped out by guys who think that way.” You can see his ears turning red, he was blushing just from saying out his feelings. “They said that if I had hung out with Enid, since I didn’t like her nor does she like me, I could look at you normally, but it failed.”

It ticked you off that THAT was the reason he kept avoiding you. He got boners and thoughts from seeing you. It.. made sense, actually. He always left dinner as soon as he was done and going to his room right after. How did this not cross your mind?! He also did not know of Enid’s feelings and you were going to stay quiet about it.

“You know that, those are completely normal feelings, right?” You comment, and laugh right afterwards. It was cute to see him all bothered up because of you. “That is called feeling sexual attraction, it comes along when you first get romantic feelings. You can always NOT have sexual attraction even when you like someone, that’s valid but, it seems that isn’t your case.” You look up at him as he stares at you back, biting his lip.

“Does that mean that.. you don’t hate me for thinking of you in dirty ways?” He pauses as he tries to hide the fact that he is looking you up and down.

“Well, I’d be lying if I say I didn’t think of you the same way some times..” You also turn away from Carl, as you feel your face warm up.

You’re two touch-deprived and in need of each other’s love and affection teenagers. It seems that neither of your feelings left even when everything you knew turned upside down. Yet it made you feel happy that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. Actually no. You NEEDED him, and he desperately NEEDED you back.

“Hey, Y/N… Do you mind if.. I kiss you?” He makes brief pauses in the middle catching his breath. Which makes you wonder what could possibly be making his breath so unsteady, and then you look down at his pants. Ah, understandable. His dick was about as ready to burst, he was probably gonna come to your touch as soon as you started making out.

And that’s exactly what you did. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he put his hand carefully around your waist. You could tell you both had waited for this moment for a long time. To be honest, you had actually predicted this moment, which made you get some condoms from Daryl on his last run. He definitely looked at you weirdly when you handed him the paper of stuff you needed.

Carl starts moving from your sloppy make out down to your neck, leaving marks all over. You were loving it. You asked if you should both take off your clothes, and he wasted no time. Carl basically rushed to take off your shirt ad you took off his. Once it was done, he was looking directly at your revealed chest and you looking at his. He didn’t a have a six pack, and thank the heavens for that. He was just the perfect amount of slight shown abs and it matched him so swell. His smile grew a bit bigger as he observed your chest and he started sucking and softly biting around your nipples.

Where the fuck did he learn that from?!

You scratch his back, deepening your nails on his pale skin. You wanted to make sure your mark stayed on his body forever. He made you lay down on your bed and Carl began kissing your torso until where his lips and your pants met. He looked up for approval to take them off. God, his pretty eyes staring with desire at only you, made you go crazy. You gave a nod of approval, and he wasted no time taking them off and throwing them away on the floor, along with your underwear. He observed your hole, and began to explore it by playing around with his fingers. You noticed that he still didn’t take off that grin off his face, you weren’t complaining, in fact, made you as horny as him probably.

“Y/N, do you mind if I enter my fin-“

“Just do it, please!” You didn’t even let him finish the sentence. You were so desperate for his touch, it was driving you mad.

His smile only got bigger to know that you were in need of him, and he inserted his fingers. You gasp, as his long slender fingers explored inside you. You felt your breath getting heavier and heavier as he inserted two more fingers. If you couldn’t handle his fingers, how would you handle whatever monster was hiding in his pants. He suddenly took them out, making you look at him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I want to do it so bad.” Before you could ask what was it he was talking about, he put his tongue inside you. You twitch in excitement and can’t help but let moans escape your mouth. He is making out with your hole and both parties are enjoying it, he is more than happy to just know that you’re his first and he is yours. Carl stops for a moment, that thought just made him even more trouble than ever. His dick was about to rip through his pants. As he begins to take his pants to revealing a hungry red/pinkish colored dick, basically pulsating to enter you, you remember of your condom.

“Wait, wait!” Carl looks confused at you. “I have a condom! We can’t get another Judith just yet!” You both giggle and he managed to open the condom. He rolls it over his cock , as you take a moment to indulge in the mystery in Carl’s pants. It looked perfect for you, a match made in hell. You gave a slight slime at Carl as he looks up at you, daringly.

“Are you sure it’ll fit?” Carl question as he positions his tip to your entrance.

“We’ll make it fit, Carl, we both desire it.” You gave a reassuring statement. It was enough to make Carl loose his control.

Carl thrust into you, and as you are prepared to moan, he starts making out with you to keep the noise down. He just wanted to keep the monas to himself. He lets you adjusts and when you have calmed down, he starts moving again. With every thrust, you feel both your bodies connecting more and more.

“Carl, f-faster!” You start begging.

“Fuck, Y/N… You’re about to crush me with your walls. Are you sure you can handle me?” You nod and he grabs your hips. “Alright then, you asked for it.”

His speed rapidly increased and so did the intensity of every thrust. His hands felt gentle on your skin, moving along with your body structure. You can feel his dick inside you, twitching and you hear him whimper your name, the faster he goes.

“I think I’m gonna c-“

“Me too, baby, me too…” You can tell he’s out of breath, but he still makes effort to make you feel good. You feel as one of his hands travels to where your entrance is and starts playing with it. You started whimpering and moaning Carl’s name, louder and louder. He is enjoying seeing you so vulnerable to him.

With few last thrusts, you came at the same time, luckily, the condom didn’t rip inside you, but when taking it out, it made a mess on Carl’s cock. He was still hard somehow, and he was embarrassed at it. As he was about to get up from your bed to not make a mess, you approach your head near his dick.

“Y/N, what are you doin- Nghh!” He quickly stops his sentence as you start licking and sucking his dripping cum out of his dick. He calmly places a hand on your head, and starts bopping up and down. You can tell he’s getting close with the way he pits his head back. Your speed gradually gets higher and when he’s about to to come in your mouth, Carl pushes your head down as deep in your throat as possible. You swallow what ‘surprise’ he left you, as he lays next to your body, catching his breath after your intense first time.

After cleaning up, he tucks you in your bed as he cuddles with you under your cozy blankets.

“So… Does this mean we get to finally be together?” Carl breaks your comfortable silent.

“Well of course, I don’t want anyone to ever take yours kisses or take your attention away from me!” You pretended to be actually upset over that matter, as you snuggled your head onto his chest.

He laughs and pulls you in closer. “I’ll never let that happen. Not Ron, not Mickey, definitely not Enid.”

“Not now or ever.” He kisses your forehead as you both drift off to sleep.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

The Sacrifice Douma x reader pt 1

Pairing: Douma x reader

Warnings: Mentions of injury

Summary: You wake up to your new surroundings

****************************************************Don’t forget to read the prologue!

“She’s been sleeping all day, you sure she’s ok..?”

Hush Yuta, stop asking me that and go finish your chores”

“But-”

“No buts! Go now”

“Ugh fine”

“*sigh* honestly that boy will be the death of me..”

“Mmm”

“Oh are you awake?”

Huh? Slowly your senses regain. You twitch your fingers and they smooth over something soft like cotton. You smell something…lavender oils and for the first time in many many years you’re…comfortable?

You start to piece together your wits and then it strikes all at once like a bolt of lightning.

Your master, the freezing rain, the pain, the demo-

You shoot up from your laying position, your body protests instantly but you push that aside.

You take in your surroundings, 4 walls, a simple clothing chest, a screen divider, a smoking oil diffusing pot, and a woman sat folding linens. Her chocolate brown eyes trained on you. A look of shock and worry on her features.

“Oh you should be careful, you’re still recovering” the woman shoved the basket aside and rushed to assist you although out of habit you flinched at her touch.

“You had some nasty cuts, some required stitches, we wouldn’t want those to tear open”

“W-who are you?” I asked warily. I’m not one to shy away help, considering getting any up till this point was a rare occurrence, but considering my situation I couldn’t help but be cautious.

“My name is Hanako, I’m a maid, Lord Douma asked me to watch over you.”

“Lord Douma?” You had a feeling you already knew who that was.

“He’s the founder of the Eternal Paradise cult. Although we don’t really refer to it as a cult” she lets out a little laugh.

She’s so carefree… maybe she’s a demon too? But she doesn’t really look like one.. not that I’ve seen many demons in my life. But she doesn’t feel threatening.

“Everyone here is apart of it, we are all striving for eternal paradise.”

“Everyone?”

“Oh yes, there are many people who follow lord Douma. You’ll get a chance to get acquainted with them soon. But for now, you must eat and rest a bit, Lord Douma will be expecting you soon.”

“W-why… what will he do to me..” you dread the answer but ask anyway.

The maid tilts her head a bit. “There’s no need to worry, Lord Douma is fair and just. As long as you don’t step out of line, you have no reason to fear”.

No need to fear? Just what is going on?! I’m about to blurt out something akin to, “I’m a sacrifice why would I not be afraid, also he’s a demon?” But I shut my mouth. Better to understand the situation more than say things to people I don’t even know.

You simply nod.

“I’ll go get you something to eat alright? You just rest until then ok?” The woman smiles gently and leaves sliding the door shut. She was older than me but not by that much.

You sighed, against your body’s pleading you didn’t lay down. Maybe this was a sick game where you were lulled into a sense of comfort and as soon as you let down your guard the demon would swoop in and devour you.

Or maybe he was plumping you up like a chicken before having you.

Oh this was torture.

Several minutes later Hanako re enters the room balancing a tray.

“Here you are, drink this soup slowly alright? You wouldn’t want to make yourself sick dear.”

You eye the soup in front of you carefully. It smells divine, with clumps of vegetables floating around and pieces of what looks like chicken. You can’t remember the last time you were allowed meat.

“Can I really eat this?” You murmur to myself.

Hanako urges you on. It could be poisoned but then again why would the demon poison you if he wanted to eat you afterwards.

Slowly you lift the spoon, dipping it into the creamy liquid and back up to your parched lips.

You’re not exaggerating when you say this was the best soup you’ve ever had.

Your fears quickly push aside in favor of shoveling more delicious soup into your mouth.

Within minutes the bowl is empty and you feel the rumbling in your stomach pleasantly cease.

“It’s getting late, we should get you ready to see Lord Douma before the sunsets.” The woman removes the tray from your lap and helps you stand. You wobble a bit but steady with her help.

She leads you behind the screen where a tub with steaming water is emitting the most sweet floral fragrance.

She helps you into the tub then goes to grab something from another room.

You sigh out of pure relaxation. Maybe this is the demons mercy before killing you. Or maybe he wants you clean before he has his meal. Either way you can’t help but enjoy how relaxed you feel. The aches are slowly receding.

Soon Hanako returns and helps wash your hair. The clear water soon became murky with all the dirt and grime from you.

After making sure you were all clean she helped you out and brought forth a gorgeous kimono.

Pearly colored material with beautiful vibrant flowers on it. You noticed that they were the same color as your eyes.

She helped you in it and clasped her hands together. “My my what a gem you are, under all that muck who knew such a beauty was there”

“Beauty?” I scoffed at her joke. Alright this pre eating pampering act was really something.

“It’s a shame that horrible man bruised up your face like that, the healer was able to make most of them disappear although the biggest one on your cheek was stubborn. He said it would heal within a week or two however.”

“Now let me just fix up your hair and you’ll be all set” her gentle hands ran through my locks slowly and removed all the knots.

She squeezed something thick onto her palms, rubbed them together then ran it through my hair. It smelled like jasmine and when she pulled the mirror I couldn’t believe it.

I looked… so so… clean and put together. No mud or dirt like always and my hair looked soft like silk. Even with the big bruise marring half my face I looked better than I ever have.

I never really got to take baths before. Sometimes I had time to quickly wash in the stream but not more than a quick few minutes because there were many pervs in the household.

“Alright dear let’s not keep Lord Douma waiting any longer” you nodded and she gave you her arm for support.

Patiently she led you out the door, you looked around, nothing looked out of the ordinary. It looked like a normal nobles residence with lined up rooms and beautiful garden work here and there.

Sigh you were so tired and confused and tired of being confused ughh.

You stopped in front of big wooden doors, they were carved brilliantly with lotus flowers.

Hanako knocked twice. “Lord Douma, I’ve brought the girl..” only a moment of silence before the melodic voice rang out again.

“You may enter”

*gulp* here goes nothing..

Hanako pushed the doors open then helped you inside.

You squinted to make out the figure sitting by the candle light.

“Welcome little flower.”

“I’ve been so eager to meet you..”

***************************************************

Please lemme know what you guys thought:)

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[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

There's Such a Sad Love (Deep in Your Eyes) - Prologue

it's finally time, friends!! here is the first part to my ghost!eddie fic! I am planning on getting the first real chapter up tomorrow, and the rest as they are done! I'd like to have this done by halloween but we'll see if i continue to have the spoons for this story thanks for reading! 🙌🥰👻

pairing: steddie | rated: M | on AO3

CWs for this chapter include: mentions of suicide/ideations as part of chrissy's backstory, and depictions of violence but nothing graphic!

He’s spoken with her a lot since he died, the Moon.

She’s lovely, beautiful, bright, and loves her monsters (Eddie still doesn’t quite know what that means, are monsters real? …Well…he is a ghost now…).

She was the first one he cried to when he realized what had happened to him, why it did.

Chrissy was his better half, his soulmate, his sister, his best friend.

He’d found her afterwards, his first thought being how could he have not known? He could understand anyone else not knowing, not knowing her like he did, but even he didn’t know.

He’d found her letter just as her boyfriend found him.

Eddie replays his last few minutes on the mortal plane over and over again in his head in the years afterwards, starting with the front door to his trailer being blown open in the wake of Jason Carver’s entrance…

“Carver! Jason, I–I’m so sorry…”

“What’d you do to her, freak?”

“What? Nothing! I’d never—I just found her letter—”

He can remember that he was hit in that moment, struck across the face lightning fast, but he can no longer remember the pain.

Probably a good thing too, for what was to come. 

“Oh yeah, sure, like anyone’s going to believe that.”

Another hit.

Another.

Another.

Over and over again until eventually, Eddie’s memory goes sideways; his sight is blurry, but clear enough to tell he was now on the floor.

He’s faced towards Jason’s legs, watches as they shuffle and bend to pick up something.

Wait, Eddie was holding something earlier wasn’t he? Something important?

His vision starts fading out, still watching as Jason’s legs back away from him, then turn sharply to run out the open door.

Tired, Eddie succumbs to the darkness; his last thought being that Wayne was going to be the one to find them both.

“A tale as old as time, I suppose.” he had told the moon one night of the thousands he must’ve been through at this point, “Blame the Freak, right?”

Her words of love and encouragement normally helped soothe his soul, but there were some nights where he just couldn’t let the injustice go, it wasn’t fucking fair!

In the end, Jason got second degree murder. Eddie got a plain wooden box.

His uncle was left alone and heartbroken.

Jason only served a fraction of the time he was supposed to.

Eddie never graduated high school, never got out of this shitty town, never got the chance to make something of himself.

He had never fallen in love.

Now, he was stuck in limbo. Stuck haunting the empty trailer (he doesn’t blame Wayne for leaving), then the empty plot where it’d had once been, and now he’s the new Forest Hills Estate’s resident poltergeist.

Admittedly, kinda metal. When he was alive, he might’ve thought it’d be badass to one of the tortured souls he used to enjoy reading about.

Now it’s just torturous. 

It’s been 38 years of hell.

Three of people breaking in and stealing mementos of the trailer ‘that poor girl’ died in.

They didn’t even say her name.

Ten of watching his home crumble around him before eventually getting torn down on purpose, to try and rid Hawkins of ‘that boy what did her in’.

They don’t dare say his name.

15 of watching the whole trailer park fall to disrepair; everyone else leaves, saying they hear sobs carried on the wind at night.

In 2001, the land the Forest Hills trailer park was on is sold off and construction starts.

Eddie laughs with the Moon when he sees walls start to go up around him, a moment of sardonic reprieve.

“Is the town’s memory that short? Don’t they know this is where it all happened?” he asks her, but she was just glad he’d have a roof over his head again.

Joke’s on him, though, it wasn’t the town that built there, it was some private company that didn’t know the history. The town knew. They remembered. And no one bought the place (even with as large and lovely as the home was).

In the 23 years it was left standing empty, he’d had loads of fun messing with the teens who’d come around every fall. Daring each other to just go up to the door, to ring the bell, even to just step up the first step. 

Sometimes they managed to get in, and those were the best times, especially on Halloween.

Eddie found himself corporeal every October 31st. Some years he’d just answer the door nonchalantly when someone knocked, knowing full well his bruised and bloody appearance really added to the effect.

Some years they’d come the day before, and those were the best. He wasn’t fully “a person” again yet, just a solid black shadow. 

His power grows in the months leading up to the 31st, and he uses the extra juice to scream and wail, to throw shit around…it adds to the story a bit, though he’s realized in the last few years that the kids who come around looking for thrills don’t even know what he and Chrissy went through.

The first time he’d heard that, he’d nearly thrown a couple kids out a second story window in his rage.

Finally, one day in late winter while wandering the grounds, testing the limits of his haunting range as if they’d suddenly expanded out any farther overnight, he sees the bright red SOLD sign at the end of the driveway.

next ->

[onyourhyuck]

Popular. | N.JM | PART 1

— Prologue: “Who’s the new girl?” + “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?”

— Summary: Revenge becomes love? Old faces become new faces? Where you enroll back to your old school where you got bullied, to get revenge on Na Jaemin but he cannot recognise you.

— Genre: Popularboy!najaemin x goodgirl!y/n. Revenge plot with romance and smut. Mention of bullying. Plot twists. Very sensitive subjects no minors. School sex(?) exhibition. Jaemin’s obsessed with y/n. Enemies to lovers (kinda)

— Notes: Popular - The Series Masterlist.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The old faces become new faces, but to you they will always be the same. You see you’re enrolling back to a school you swore to never become back to but you made a long life promise that you will come back as a different person. And you did. You levelled up while everyone else stayed and stood the same. You’re a new person. New you. New chapter. No one can recognise you because you poured all the blood sweats and tears into your new self and new life to come back and show them what they’re missing out on. All you ever wanted was to be popular.

You wanted to be liked. You wanted to be invited to things, the things you craved back then are only getting more and more intense. You would’ve done anything to have what the popular kids have, to experience getting love and compliments. You wanted to be mainstream, you wanted to be viral. The attention they got was unfair because you never once had it back then. But now it’s different. You’re the new girl. No one recognises you.

At least you hope someone does recognise you so you can shove it in their face how brand new you look with all the hard work and suffering you had to go through.

Walking down those school hallways was something haunting. You feel like you’re back at the very start of hell that you had to deal with all those years, but now the looks on people’s faces weren’t facing you but giving you surprise glances. They have a new girl enrolling?

The boy on the side wearing a red hoodie with a white shirt underneath and a pair of denim jeans was caught off guard by the beautiful peach scent running from his nostrils, glaring up wondering where it was coming from, he saw an unfamiliar figure walking in front. Wearing a loose white sweater over a collared shirt buttoned up. The flowyness of the black skirt fluttering from each step she took with her legs. It just makes him stand there, mesmerised and also, thinking who was that?

The boy nudged his friend who closed the locker with a gentle slam. “Hey Sungchan,” He spoke with the inability to look away but make his friend watch the person he became someone so infatuated with. “Who’s the new girl?”

The taller boy, Sungchan, also his best friend despite being a year younger looks over at the girl he pointed at and a long-long face was expressed on him. “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?” Sungchan sighs.

“Looks like you don’t know either.”

The guy with slight light brunette hair smirks when he mentions that Jaemin’s curiosity was far too much already. Jaemin’s smirk stays as his eyes look at Sungchan and he pats his chest with the palm. “Cya at lunch Chan.” Jaemin said suddenly jogging away from his friend leaving Sungchan by the lockers completely stranded, but not surprised.

‘Why am I not surprised? It’s Jaemin.’ The younger boy said to himself under the breath of holding back from shouting, trying not to seem so surprised but every time something happens, he was left alone to deal with his mess.

Running to dodge a few people passing through a sudden person now walks on the same length pace as you and your eyes caught the guy instantly. You remember him. The flashbacks run in your eyes like it was yesterday it happened. How he ignored you. Left you when you needed the help the most. The same anger flusters your knuckles but you roll them forward and your strength was holding back, you had the urge to just punch him already knowing what he did to you. But he seems to be completely oblivious? Does he really not remember you? You found it almost offensive that he does not recognise you considering what he did, it stays buried within your past.

Your glare appointed to the boy you stop when you notice he was following you and about to speak to you, so you shut him up immediately before he could even speak. “What do you want?” Well that came out slightly more meaner from you than Jaemin thought he would get. “You’re the new girl right? Why don’t I give you a school tour guide at lunch time.” He offers with a sweet smile.

This was God’s plan in a way. You thought this was perfect timing to get your revenge on him and just shout at him, reveal who you are, but you couldn’t do that. You didn’t have the strength to shout and scream anymore all you have is the numbing anger to deal with on your old wounds.

Then it hits you. He doesn’t recognise you and he thinks you’re a new girl, someone he doesn’t have relations with at all. Your eyes light up and your thoughts begin to trail like a running waterfall in synch.

What if you make him fall for you? Then you can take your revenge when he really loves you? You could make him regret what he did. He can be the first one on your list to take your revenge on.

You saw that the boy was waiting for your answer with hopeful sweet eyes. Your thoughts were too dark. You were wanting revenge not friendship, so to make this look real you have to pull your act together and hide your anger from everyone, at least for now. You pull a fake smile. “Sure, show me around.”

You swore Jaemin’s sweet smile widens. “Perfect. I’m Na Jaemin and you are…?”

The hand extends out to shake yours and you feel your eyebrows raise up furrowing as you had to think of a name for yourself. You remember you even given yourself a brand new name when enrolling into this school. You really had everything planned from the get-go.

“Y/n.” You tell him as you softly shake him by the hand. Jaemin was taking notes mentally already of your name, he found you mysterious. And he loves mysterious especially for a curious guy like he is you are a dangerous box for him to find.

He smiles. “Y/n huh? Pretty name. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria. It’s by the right side of you go straight ahead. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t forget.” Not like you can. It’s not actually your first time being at this school.

You nearly forgot how nerving it must be being the new student. Especially when you’re standing in front of the class front of everyone, the teacher trying to make the class settle down and go quiet so you could introduce yourself.

“Come on kids settle down, it’s a Monday morning you shouldn’t be so hyperactive and happy.” The teacher glimpses back to you and the students with a sarcastic tone.

The students settle down. You recognise some of them. How can you forget after all? They all did you wrong.

Ningning, the most popular girl in the school who makes everything a competition if a slightest person gets more attention than her. She is popularity itself. People often refer to her as Queen of popularity. But you’re determined to overtake her, make her life a hell like she did to you.

Then there was Chenle. He was pretty wealthy and he got away with many many things you saw him do. He doesn’t even know you saw him do it because back then, you were someone else. You were nearly broken.

And you can’t forget Jaemin. Na Jaemin. The boy who does everything so effortlessly. The school heartthrob. The most popular guy you could ever think about. Jaemin is a social network. He was everything you have to be careful of.

‘Unless you’re going to use him.’ You thought to yourself.

The teacher gave you a sign to start when you’re ready and you clear your worrisome thoughts putting on a friendly smile. You bow your head. “Hello I’m Y/n I hope we all get along well.” The students welcome you by clapping their hands as you take a seat down at the middle section. You thought it was perfect if you sat there considering you didn’t want to be at the back like before.

Students were surprised by how pretty you are too, especially the boys in the class seem to be gossiping already, which just makes Ningning on edge. The new girl was already rousing up people saying how cute you look.

Jaemin smirks raising his hand. “Sir can I sit next to Y/n? I promised to show her around at lunch.” He smugly told to everyone so they can all wow and gasp. You’re already on first name basis and it made everyone’s lips widen.

You find Jaemin already so annoying that he’s sticking by you but this makes your job so much easier.

He just doesn’t know who you are it makes this all so much funnier how he’s doing everything he can to be around you. Hip to hip.

“You may.” The teacher said dismissing it so the lesson can go on. Jaemin moves to the next vacant chair and table next to your desk where you sat and he gives you a healing warm smile.

He starts to admire you from the side profile. You really look like a doll from any angle. Jaemin raised an eyebrow though. “Do you perhaps have a sister or anything?” Jaemin now said thinking. “Or is this your first time enrolling?”

He has a feeling he knows you from somewhere but he cannot brush it away without asking straight up.

Your eyes widen. “Sister? No… It’s my first time enrolling.” You mumble quietly not wanting to attract much attention to his question either. It’s best to act dumb and play along.

Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘huh’. He wasn’t sure why he thought you’d had an older sister or something. “Hm okay then.”

“Anyways, Y/n. What school did you come from before then?” He smiles watching you.

You don’t even bother to look at him, Jaemin found it so interesting how you’re listening to the lesson while not even paying much mind to him. “I was homeschooled.”

You had to be especially careful not to reveal too much of your past to him, but you can say you were homeschooled.

He leans closer. “Did you ever go to a school like this before then?”

“Nope.”

“Not even once?”

“No.”

“Wow… you must suck at socialising then Y/n. I mean… you sounded pretty angry with me when we first met.”

You wanted to slam your pencil and tell him to stop speaking when you’re in middle of a lesson trying to catch up with some work but you couldn’t do that to him otherwise you’d explode. And it might get you in trouble.

You patiently bite down on your tongue and pray Jaemin just shuts up. “I was in a grumpy mood, don’t pay mind to my tone.” You grit your teeth as you spoke and Jaemin smirks.

He knows he’s getting to you. “Am I annoying you Y/n?” Jaemin would ask you as if he didn’t know that he was, but it felt much nicer to hear it from you. You lift your face up with a heavy sigh away from the paper you’re writing class notes in as you turn to look at him.

“Yes, yes you are. I’m trying to write these class notes.” You say to him truthfully trying to put the hint across and Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘awh’ at you.

“Look at you trying to be a good student already. Can I copy some of the notes from you?” He smirks watching your expression twitch a little.

‘What a dick.’ You thought to yourself as if you never experienced people leeching off you again.

“Will you shut up if you do?” You sigh desperate for some peace and quiet over here as you see Jaemin smirk nodding. “Of course.”

You don’t know if you can believe him. Actually you don’t. But you did this anyways and handed your notes to him so he can take a copy of it on the paper he owns.

You snatch your paper away once he was done out his hand and he sheepishly smirks leaning closer whispering to you when you’re going back to writing down on the paper.

“Thank you Y/n.” Jaemin whispers pulling away.

“No problem, Jaemin.” You sarcastically said with a tone that wasn’t so nice and upbeat to him, whispering it back.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you! Please reblog this fic and follow me for more updates on my pinned post!

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

New chapter is up for my Feyd-Rautha/Reader fic. I'll provide the AO3 link here: And I Don't Want Your Heart - Chapter 3 - ooihcnoiwlerh - Dune (2021) [Archive of Our Own]

But if you'd prefer to read it here I can provide it under the cut. As you can imagine, there are trigger warnings for this fic in general as well as this chapter.

TW: arranged marriage, forced marriage, dubious consent, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced incest, heavy violence, first times, rough sex, blood kinks, and of course Feyd-Rautha who is his own walking content warning.

If you haven't read my fic yet I do recommend reading the prologue and first chapter to get what's going on. It's all on AO3.

CHAPTER TWO: THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN DREADING

“It’s time, Na-Baroness.”

You turn to look at her.  She keeps her head down.  “We need to get you to your bedchambers to prepare,” she adds.

You take a breath.  He and everyone else need you to be living and healthy at least for the time being.  You’ll be able to manage whatever happens tonight, you tell yourself.

You give a small nod, reach for your goblet, and finish the contents in three big swallows before setting it down.

Your mother sees you get up and her eyes widen just a fraction.  You smile at her as you make a detour to wish your family a good night.

“I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast,” you tell your parents.  Afterwards all off-world guests will be going home, and you’ll have to deal with the fact that this desolate killing field of a planet is your home now.  You try not to think about how you probably won’t be seeing any of your family again until the next wedding or funeral as you give each of them a crushing hug.  When your younger sister hugs you back, you wonder if she’s thinking about her future, if she’s terrified that she’ll have an even worse match.

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Father tells you as you pull away from his embrace.  When he looks at you, you can tell he’s thinking, I’d give anything right now for you to have been born a son.

“Thank you, Father,” you tell him, thinking, Come on, now.  You can’t put me up to this marriage in the first place and then act as though I’m going to my execution.  You need for them to have hope that you’ll be okay.  One of you has to believe that I can get through this.

You sense the Baron watching you.  You can feel his distaste at the open sentimentality but he doesn’t say anything, so it seems that he’ll allow it.  How kind of him, you think bitterly.

When you start to move past them your mother tugs at your wrist one last time and you turn to face her.  She doesn’t say anything, so you end up speaking for her.

“It’ll be alright,” you say softly, taking her hands.

She almost smiles, then swallows.  “I should be the one saying that to you,” she says.  You just give her a small smile of your own and kiss her cheek.  You end up letting go of her hands first, but it takes only the first tug for her to relinquish yours.  You resume your trek out of the Great Hall when you reach the head of the table and stop, remembering one last obligation before you go.

You need to pay your respects to the Baron first and it makes you hesitate.  You don’t want to talk to him, don’t want to look at him, don’t want to even think about him.  His nephew strikes fear in you, but there’s a kind of revulsion that the Baron inspires that is tangible even as you can’t quite explain it.  Even if you didn’t know his reputation as a bloodthirsty warmonger that makes your father seem like a pacifist by comparison, even though you’re sure that there’s more you haven’t discovered yet, even with the limited interactions you’ve actually had with him, he makes your skin crawl.  You step forward, eyes downcast, incline your head, and dip into the deepest curtsy you can manage in your gown.

“Thank you, Baron, for your gifts, your kind reception, and your hospitality,” you tell him.

After a pause he seems to think you’ve expressed an adequate amount of gratitude and says, “May you continue to please my lovely nephew,” he responds, voice low enough that your family won’t hear but the people next to him will.  He knows that you know what he means.

Contempt and shame war within you.  You refuse to look up at him.  “Yes, Baron,” you manage, face flushing.  Your hands shake.  You rise and turn away.  Idrisa’s there within arm’s reach to escort you out.

It’s a long stretch of silence to get from the Great Hall to the Harkonnen private chambers, but neither of you know quite what to say that you’d be willing to risk anyone hearing.

She guides you back into your bedchambers.  Once there, you stand in the middle of the room, frozen and useless.  “Will he want me in this?” you ask after a moment.  You picture him tearing the fabric of your underskirts, maybe slicing your bodice with one of his hidden blades.  It’s easy to picture him desecrating a symbol of your union.  It’s also easy to picture him simply pulling down your undergarment, bending you over the nearest flat surface, and debasing you as you’re still fully clothed.

Idrisa shakes her head.  “The Na-Baron had some specific requests.  He’d like you out of this,” she says.  “I’ll help you.”

She’s so gentle with her touch and the meticulous way she undoes your bodice and arranges your skirts that it unnerves you rather than soothes you.  It’s such a contrast to how you’re certain you’ll be touched as soon as you leave these chambers that you tremble at her fingertips.

“It’ll be alright,” she says softly.  “You and the union between the Houses is too important for him to seriously hurt you.”  You don’t miss the disclaimer of ‘seriously’.  You have nothing to say to that, only watching as she sets the gown back on the mannequin it arrived with and turns to you, in just your boots and undergarments.  

You sigh and take care of your boots and the stockings underneath as Idrisa reaches into your drawers for a chemise and robe.

“He wants you to take off your undergarments,” she says over her shoulder.

“Of course he does,” you mutter, working on those next, stripping down bare.  “For ‘ease of access.’”

“It’s not an unreasonable request,” Idrisa says mildly, taking your discarded clothes and handing you the chemise to put on.  “We’re almost done.”  She sets down a pair of slippers for you to step into and gives you your robe before taking a step back and taking inventory of you.  She tilts her head and bites her lip.

“Hair down, I think,” she says.  “Your make-up held up well, so we won’t need to reapply anything.”

“We could, you know.”  It’ll buy me some time to collect myself.  Although that isn’t entirely true; you’ll still be just as nervous an hour from now as you will be five minutes from now, and you both know it as Idrisa quietly arranges your hair into a style she thinks your groom will find suitable.

His chambers, as it turns out, are just next door.  “Thank you,” you tell her when you get inside.  It’s a large room, as austere as all the other rooms but the limited furniture within it is of high-quality.  A black armoire against the opposite wall with dressers and a desk and chair to match, and then of course the bed.  

It’s a massive four-poster with a steep headboard.  You can’t help but notice rings and hooks lining each bedpost.  You don’t think you’re ignorant by any means, considering your overall lack of experience, but you’re not sure what they could possibly mean.  In the next room you can faintly hear the sound of running water.

“The Na-Baron is finishing up in his bathroom.  He’ll be ready for you in just a moment,” Idrisa tells you, before reaching for your robe.  You instinctively move away, wanting the barrier between your skin and the suddenly oppressive air of an unfamiliar room.

She holds on, undeterred, to your sleeves.  “The Na-Baron said that he would have his wedding gift already unwrapped and in bed waiting for him,” she says apologetically.  

You think of your father’s words from days ago (“oiled and trussed up before being thrown into his bedroom”) and take a breath before shedding the robe and stepping out of your slippers yourself. You don’t look at Idrisa as you raise the chemise up and over your shoulders before tossing it to the floor and once you’re completely bare try to cover yourself with your arms as you take a few steps back.  It feels dumb; she’s already seen you naked and so will the man on the other side of the bathroom door in just a minute, but you want to hold on some semblance of modesty in this unfamiliar room.

Idrisa looks away as she picks everything up.  “I’ll leave you to your privacy, then,” she says.  

“I’ll be nearby,” she adds, folding your clothes and setting them on the dresser and the slippers on the floor just beside it.  She glances over at you one last time as if to say, Good luck, before turning and leaving.  The door clicks and you’re left in silence.  The water stops.

Better get moving, then, you think as you stare at the bed.  You wonder briefly what such an intimidating piece of furniture has seen over the years, and you’re honestly not sure how to present yourself once you reach it.  Do you lie on your back, like you’ve been told, is the civilized, kind manner in which to take a bride?

You think of the way your groom prowls, the way he kills.  He’s barely civilized and he’s certainly not kind; the animalistic way he moves and looks at you suggests that he’ll fuck you like an animal too, on all fours and without preamble, but the idea of getting into that position, of presenting yourself to him in such a way, makes you wince the moment you imagine it.

So you compromise and settle on your side, facing the bathroom entrance where he’ll soon emerge.

Your heart races as nearly a full minute ticks by before the door opens and Feyd-Rautha emerges, as naked as you are.

You try to stay composed and keep a sense of demure composure about you as you take inventory of him and what is meant to go inside of you tonight.  He is indeed smooth everywhere, and half-hard.  You digest the fact that even without a full erection, he's larger than the limited sample size you've witnessed.  You think that it’s kind of funny that he looks more powerful naked than he does in his armor, or even in his undergarments but to your relief he’s also as unarmed as he can possibly be.  And if this is to happen, it is a comfort knowing that it will be with a man whose body you find beautiful to look at.

His eyes drift over yours, mapping everything as he takes his fill,of the rest of your body.  “Have you ever taken a man inside of you?” he asks.

You shake your head and try not to let your nerves get the better of you as you wonder how much this is going to hurt.  He sees the fear in your eyes, though, as he crosses over and slides into bed alongside you without another word.  Your breath hitches, your heart pounding.  Not for the first time he makes you feel like a rabbit in a field.  It’s hard to reconcile that and the excitement within you; perhaps it’s adrenaline.

He slowly angles you to lay back as he props himself above you.  Your pulse thuds in your ears and you hear your own gasp as if it’s coming from somewhere else.

There’s a moment he’s looming above you, and you’re caught between fear and a growing heat between your legs, your nerves on end, before you surprise the both of you.  Without allowing yourself to think about it you lean up, cup the back of his head and pull him into a kiss.  This much you’ve done before, anyway.  You hope that it’ll help ease you into everything else.

It catches him off-guard, which gives you a brief sense of satisfaction, feeling like the playing field has been leveraged, before he kisses back.  He seems to like it, the hint of a challenge, and responds in turn by deepening the kiss and pressing his tongue into your mouth.  After a moment’s hesitation, unsure where to put your hands, you find that trailing them along his arms and back feels right.  

For the first minute it actually feels nice.  Then the first brush of the tip of his cock against your stomach makes you gasp.  You can feel him filling out the rest of the way and try not to look down.  It won’t help settle your nerves at all to see just how large it is when fully engorged.  The soft skin of it bumps against your bare stomach again before he shifts his legs so both are between yours, forcing you to spread your thighs around his hips.  He breaks the kiss and watches your face as he shifts one hand from beside your head to between his legs, taking himself in hand.

You clench your thighs and gasp, heart racing.  Without thinking you give a small cry when he guides his cock along your slit.  You feel stupid for it; he’s not even inside of you yet, but you can feel yourself seize up.

He pauses, as if trying to gauge something. Then he releases himself to slide his fingertips between the apex of your thighs instead.  Your chest heaves as you think about how you’re the only one who’s ever put a hand there, and even then only a few times.  You have enough time to think that you’ve never felt more helpless in your life before he brushes his fingers along your slit, all the more sensitive for the lack of hair, and then brings a thumb to the bud between your legs you only discovered for the first time a few years ago by accident.  He circles his thumb lazily, watching your stomach clench and your lips part in a gasp.  You shut your eyes, the intimacy of it already more than you could’ve anticipated.

“Look at me,” he says sharply, and you force your eyes open.  He tilts his head ever so slightly as his thumb presses down and your hips arch up.  You hold onto him, your hands gripping his shoulders as you bite your lip, trying to breathe normally.  He blinks as he takes in your reaction, his gaze traveling from your face to your hips before moving his hand, shifting his fingertips to your entrance.

The press of one finger inside of you is a stretch, unfamiliar but not unpleasant once you adjust to the feeling of being penetrated for the first time, and you want to look away, embarrassed at just how exposed you are to this man but as soon as you do, he repeats, irritated that he’d have to say it again, “Look at me.”

Your eyes snap back to his.  He curls his finger inside of you and your mouth falls open in a silent cry, your stomach clenching, and he tilts his head slightly, pulling his hand back to add a second finger alongside it, and this time the burn of it’s just a little too much.  You try to pull your hips back, face pinched in discomfort, and he gives a frustrated exhale as he tries twisting his fingers, only to get the same reaction.  He pulls his fingers out, and seems to think about what to do next.

He glances down at your chest, at your stiffened nipples, and lowers himself down onto his forearms, his head down to your breasts, teeth and tongue scraping against one, then the other.  As you whine and cradle the back of his neck you wonder if this is like a game for him, trying to see what noises he can pull from you where, and doing what, as he travels from one part of your body to another.  You try to collect your breath as he stops, traveling lower, his body sliding almost serpentine along the length of the bed and you can’t help but watch the muscles in his back and shoulders.

You briefly notice that there are old scars there that you hadn’t been able to see properly in the semi-darkness of the fighting halls.  They look like lash-marks that span from his shoulder blades to the tops of his buttocks.  But that’s the last coherent thought you have before Feyd-Rautha’s face disappears between your spread legs and you cry out, back arching at the first contact between his mouth and your lower lips.

You were expecting and fearing a lot tonight but hadn’t accounted for your groom licking your newly-shaved privates.  It’s shocking enough that it takes you a moment to understand how nice it feels.  You pant and squirm, your moans pulled out of you with each swipe of his tongue along your slit, each flicker of it against your bud.

“Oh!” you manage, incapable of saying anything else as your thighs shake and you wish he had hair that you could bury your fingers in as he laps at you.

When the heat of it really starts to build and your whines start sounding more desperate, the very core of you slick along his lips and tongue is when he stops.  It’s all a means to an end and as far as he’s concerned he’s done more than enough to prepare you. 

He ignores your whimper of protest as he pulls away and props himself up above you again, taking inventory of your flushed face and chest, your parted and kiss-swollen lips.

Good, you’re ready, he seems to think.  He lines himself up, and your breath hitches as you shut your eyes.

“Keep ‘em open,” he says immediately, and you relent, gazing up at a pair of eyes that glint nearly silver, pupils wide.

The blunt head of him is wide, and you realize that the preparation, his fingers and tongue, weren’t enough to ease the passage.  He’ll tear you open.  He watches your face and the growing panic in your eyes and presses forward.

Fear is the mind-killer.  It is the little–

The first press of him knocks the air out of your lungs in a sob.  You lurch up, clutching at his back as your inner thighs clench around his sides as he thrusts in the first couple of inches.  You squirm around him, shifting, hoping to get unstuck like you’re a worm on a hook.  He just pushes in deeper with a grunt, his hand clutching your hip to keep you still so he can bury himself within you the rest of the way.

It hurts, you want to protest, as if he can’t tell already.  As if he doesn’t enjoy how he’s skewering you onto him.

You’ve been in worse pain than this.  Remember when you broke your arm when you were nine?  If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve never felt more vulnerable in your life to the most frightening man you’ve ever met who–you hope–is now fully inside of you, you’d almost laugh.

Virgin sex: not as painful as breaking an arm.

You dig your nails in.  Feyd-Rautha gives a breathless laugh and a sharp thrust that has you crying out and digging your nails in deeper.

“Does my little pet want to get her claws in me?” he says, the first time he’s spoken in several minutes.  You try to relax your hands, just gripping onto his back.  “I didn’t say ‘stop,’” he adds.

He likes pain, the Reverend Mother told you.

Well, alright, then.

You grit your teeth and scratch down the length of his back.  He groans, a rumble deep in his chest before pulling out nearly to the tip of him and pushing all the way back in again.  It helps, in a way, the feeling of reciprocating the pain.  The difference is that you’re barely tolerating it, but he’s enjoying it.  He seems to like the pressure of your kneecaps digging into his sides, the nails down his back.

Curiosity strikes and you reach up and pull him down close enough to bite down on his collarbone and he gasps, hips stuttering for a moment, a moan pulled out of him before he resumes thrusting into you with deeper rolls of his hips.

You’re not sure when the moment happens that you start to adjust, the sting of it fading to a sore stretch.  You still feel impossibly full, but the ache of it feels like a minor tear, not like you’ve just been split in half.  

It’s soon after that he draws the first real moan out of you since before he entered you and it gives you pause; the stroke of his hips had been just right, you’d tilted yours in just a way that actually felt good in a way that tugged at your insides.  After a moment he tries again and you can’t help but make the same noise, holding onto him as the push and pull of his thrusts finally starts to feel right, like an act that’s natural rather than a punishment.

It’s then that he pulls out, and you yelp in shock; you were only starting to get adjusted to having him inside of you and he hasn’t spilled his seed yet.  You barely have time to understand what’s happening as he flips you onto your front and hauls you up, grabbing your hips.

It feels like another invasion, the angle tighter.  You won’t be able to hold onto him or take your pain out on him.  You scramble to get your forearms under you as he well and truly starts fucking you.  You hadn’t realized that he’d been holding back at all.

You do realize, though, that he not only tolerates your hair but likes it, when he wraps your tresses around his hand and sharply tugs like your hair’s a harness.  You can’t help any of the desperate noises that you make, shaking, as you’re repeatedly pulled back onto his cock.  The heat of tears builds in your eyes as you lower your head, only for him to tug it back by your hair. 

You give another cry, which spurs him on.  Pleasure, pain, it seems like it’s all the same to him so long as he can keep pulling desperate sounds out of you.  He speeds up, goes harder, the snap of his hips against your ass loud to the point of obscene within the echoes of his room.

And then you feel it, warm and viscous inside of you as he gives a choked moan, grunting as he thrusts into you one last time and holds still, his hands still on your hips.  You gasp, freezing, before moaning even though you're not entirely sure if you like the sensation of it or not.

You feel him pull away from you and twist onto your back, your legs bent to avoid colliding with him, as he kneels on the edge of the bed and wipes his bloody cock off on the sheets.

You catch your breath as you bring a hand against your forehead, trying to think.

It’s done; you got through it. 

He turns to look at you, at your parted lips, your breasts rising and falling as your breath evens out, your inner thighs where a small smear of blood remains, and wordlessly brings a thumb to the tacky skin there.

You blink, eyes widening as he looks you in the eye and licks off the already-drying blood.  He tilts his head, still looking between your legs, when his fingertips slide against your slit, collecting both a little blood and a dribble of his seed that leaked out of you.  Without a word he settles back over you and brings his fingers to your lips.

You try to think about what he’d want from you at this moment, and all that comes to mind is to mirror him.  You try to shut out the part of you that feels revulsion at the sight and the smell and part your lips.  

You can’t look away from him as he presses the calloused pad of his thumb on your lips and pushes further, onto your tongue.  You want to flinch away at the salt of your blood mixed with the viscous salt of his seed, but with his other hand he cups your jaw.  His movements could be seen as gentle and if he were a different man this act could be seen as intimate, but no, not with him.  He’s trying to humiliate you, you’re sure.  Because he then says, quietly, “Close your mouth,” and you hesitate, face heating up with shame, before you do.

For a moment you want to pull back and spit the mixture back out into his face.  There must be a flicker of that want in your eye because he tilts his head in a silent challenge.

Go on.  Try it, he seems to say.

You want to, but you do the opposite, the new goal to be to catch him off-guard again.  You force yourself to taste the residue from both of your bodies off his fingers.  You lick delicately around the digits and watch his eyes widen just a fraction.  You do it again, slowly, realizing that you’ve surprised him again.

He pulls his fingers out, his full lips parted.

“Don’t swallow,” is all he says before crushing his mouth against yours. 

You didn’t think you were ignorant, but you don’t fully understand what this is, what it’s called, why he’s enjoying it so much.  It’s a tool you think you might have but don’t have any frame of reference for and aren’t sure how to use as he groans as the liquids merge between you in a desperate open-mouthed kiss.  You just know that you’re learning enough to keep him interested.  He lays fully against you, and you have enough time to think that his chest feels nice pressed up against yours before he reaches in between your legs to feel the puffy, bruised apex where he’d buried himself.

Is he already getting aroused again?  

You get your answer when he flips you onto your stomach for the second time and pulls your hips up just enough for him to settle behind you.  For a moment you lurch forward, away from his grip but of course he pulls you back.  Alarm sets in.  I need time.  I’m still recovering from the first time you split me open.  You hear yourself whine as he slides his rapidly-stiffening cock in between your tender folds as if to plead for his mercy.  He doesn’t grant it, moaning at the desperate sound.  You realize that he’s working himself the rest of the way in his own hand before pressing it back up against you and pushing inside of you in one sharp thrust.

In some ways it’s easier; you’re sufficiently stretched out at this point to take him inside of you, and the combination of blood and semen’s added second and third coats of lubrication.

But then he’s rougher; there’s no preamble, no brief moments of letting you adjust to the intrusion.  He goes hard and fast on your torn and bruised insides, and this time he doesn’t say a word.  All you hear are beast-like grunts as he pulls you onto him.

Just finish.  Please just finish and get it over with, you think as your cries become hoarse, and then nothing more than pathetic whimpers.  That in itself seems to spur him on, how much he’s wearing you out and taking you to the very limits of what you can handle. 

You collapse the rest of the way onto your front, panting and sweaty, and you shut your eyes when you can sense he’s almost done, shuddering as his thrusts become more erratic and he finally–thankfully–comes, filling you up a second time and you could cry with the relief of it.

He holds on for a moment, as if trying to make sure as much of him as possible stays inside of you as he settles down, his front against your back, his breath against the nape of your neck.  And then he pulls out and you wonder if this is how it feels when a person who’s just been stabbed feels the knife leave their body right before you sense him turn and fall onto his back against the sheets.

You remain on your front,  the side of your face resting on your forearm as you just don’t have it in you to move again.  You just hope that Feyd-Rautha’s finally done for the night.  You turn your head to the other side to look at him and confirm.

His penis looks a lot less intimidating when it’s soft and resting against his thigh.  You watch his chest rise and fall and briefly think about running a hand over it, and long the ridges of his abdomen even as you can’t say you’re proud of yourself for the instinct.  He just seems almost docile now, reclining on his back, after he’s rutted inside of you twice. It's almost like wanting to pet a sedated dog that had been trying to bite you.  You watch him raise one leg slightly, enough to bend his knee, and you notice more scars along his inner thigh that are even paler than the rest of him.  They don’t look recent, but not as old as the ones on his back.

He turns his head and looks at you, and reaches out, bringing a hand to your backside, lazily caressing a cheek before bringing his palm down in a hard smack.  He smirks at how the soft flesh jiggles and at your responding yelp.

“It was right there,” he says by way of explanation.  You’re tired enough that you can’t help but snicker as you keep your head pillowed on your forearms and try to focus on the softness of the sheets under you rather than the unrelenting ache between your legs.  You look at each other, him likely surveying the damage as you catalog him in what is probably the closest he ever gets to a relaxed state.

“Can you stand?” Feyd-Rautha asks after a moment.

You’re not entirely sure you can move your legs.  “In a moment, maybe,” you admit.

“Then take a moment,” he says.  “Then you can call your girl to take you back to your quarters.”

You get up on your forearms to get a better look at him.  “You’re sending me away?” you ask.  You don’t mean the hurt tone in your voice.  Not that you even want to stay the night, but his dismissal feels insulting.  You’re the one whose insides are sore and bleeding, after all.  Is he not even going to give you more time to recover and just relax here?  Maybe kiss you one last time?  

“It’s more practical if I do,” he says.  “I’ll be up a few hours before you tomorrow.”  His tone is so matter-of-fact that any trace of intimacy over the past couple of minutes dissipates into thin air and you remember who you’re with.

“Right.”  You look over at your clothes on the dresser.  You wince at the effort, but turn to your side and sit up facing away from him.  You can feel his stare burning into your back.

You wince as you sit forward and try to get your limbs to coordinate with you as you shift your legs.

You look down at the sheets and wonder if Feyd-Rautha’s going to have someone come in to clean them immediately after you leave.

No, you realize.  He’ll have someone come in to put down new ones, certainly, but he’ll be holding on to the bloodied sheets.  They’ll serve as a trophy, proof that he deflowered the heiress to the House of Y/H.

You don’t look back at your new husband as you get up, shakily at first, needing to hold onto the bed to stabilize you.

You need to walk gingerly, and the feel of Feyd-Rautha watching your discomfort makes it worse.  You feel tears build again, this time from anger.  You think to yourself that you might’ve been able to handle everything else tonight better if he were a little kinder to you afterwards, and gave you something to temper the roughness as he’d prepared you beforehand.  And here he is smugly watching the pain you’re in because of him, congratulating himself on how he wrecked your virgin cunt.

This is fucking undignified.  I’m part of a Major House, too, you think as you pull on your chemise and step into your slippers.  Finally you’ve decided that you’re not going to let this insult pass and turn to him.  He’s sitting up, his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped loosely around them as he watches you and that somehow makes it even worse.  “Is this amusing for you?” you demand, thinking, Of course it is, you stupid girl.  He and his kind get off on this sort of thing.

He looks neither embarrassed nor smug, but leans forward a little as he considers you.  “You did well tonight,” he says. 

“Thank you, Na-Baron,” you say coldly as you reach for your robe.  

“I like it when you call me husband,” he adds, and you glance back at him.  “That’s what you should call me when we’re alone together.”

You look at him a moment longer.  You realize that this is just about the closest he can get to being kind to you, at least tonight.  Whatever tenderness he’d shown when he first touched you was to serve his own purpose.  Now that he’s taken what he wants there’s nothing else to give you.  It’s not even intentional cruelty on his part, you don’t think.  It’s just the absence of everything else.

With a resigned sigh you pull on your robe and give him a curt nod.  “I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, husband,” you tell him, pad over to the door, and open it just far enough to see Idrisa standing post just outside.  You head into the hallway and shut the door behind you without another word or glance backwards.

“How much of that were you able to hear?” you ask her.  

She tries to spare you.  “The walls are thick, Na-Baroness,” she says, and you’re even more grateful for the short distance to your chambers than you’d been before.

At your bedside you notice that there’s a jug of water and a glass, then beside them a dish.  You head for it to inspect closer and it turns out there are two small white tablets.  You turn to look at her.

Idrisa shrugs one shoulder.  “Part of the benefits of being promoted to your attendant,” she says.  “I felt it would be safer to take precautions and assume you’d need pain relief after…” she trails off, realizing there is no polite way to say getting fucked hard for the first time by a man who delights in your pain and just repeats, “after.  I spoke with a Healer who agreed that it would be safer to plan for that.”

As you reach for a tablet she adds quickly, “I wouldn’t take more than half if I were you.”

You pause, the tablet to your mouth.  “Why?” you ask.

She hesitates.  “I wasn’t sure how severe your pain would be afterwards,” she says.  “I really didn’t know how to predict so I requested two tablets.  Looking at you now, half a tablet should suffice.”

You look down at the dish and then back at her.  Just how badly did you think tonight would go for me? you want to ask, but then realize that there are some questions you don’t actually want answers to.  

You smile at her in gratitude, snap the tablet in half, and wash it down with the offered water.  “Will it help me sleep?” you ask.

She inclines her head in the affirmative.  “Now let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed,” she says.  

“It’s alright.  I can handle the rest myself,” you tell her.

Her brow furrows and she frowns.  “It’s my duty to look after you,” she says.  

“I understand, but right now I need to be alone,” you tell her.

She looks nervous, as if her dismissal is some kind of failure on her part and something for which she’ll be punished later.

“You’ve done a great job,” you tell her.  “But the best way to take care of me tonight is to let me do this myself.”

“Whatever you wish, Na-Baroness,” she says finally.  “Good night, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

……………..

You pad over to the bathroom and a minute later find yourself sitting on the edge of your bathtub with a warm, wet towel in one hand as you inch up the hem of your chemise with the other.  

You wince at the first press of the towel against your tender skin.  You don’t want to look directly at the damage, wishing you still had hair down there to obscure some of it.  You shut your eyes as you wipe around your inner thighs.  You wipe directly between your legs and the sharp bite of the pain makes you briefly double over.  After a moment you look down at the used towel; there’s not as much blood as you thought, as it feels like it was spilled out of you, but you’re going to have to wring it out and start over if you want to feel clean.  Maybe you won’t feel clean again.

The reality of it all hits you, sharply, and you feel like you’ve been stabbed and a part of you realizes that the worst is yet to come.

For the first time since finding out you would be linked to Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, you break down and cry.

[azrielslightintheshadows]

Shadows and tears

So this is a series about Azriel and reader. English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes. I hope you like it!

Summary: Reader is a tortured soul who barely escaped the brutality of the Illyrian camps finding shelter in the Day Court. Her identity was well hidden until she caught the attention of the Night Court’s Shadowsinger. Will the mating bond be enough for their love to settle in?

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse and trauma, smut towards the end (18+)

Masterlist

Prologue , Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Hope.

The next morning you woke up ready to face the new day. The smile never left your face as you showered, got dressed and braided your hair. Maybe this could work between you and Azriel. Once again you met Nesta in the dining room and after your breakfast you headed to the roof finding Cassian, Azriel, Emerie and Gwyn. You started stretching and waited for Cassian to train you while the girls were already moving into the ring.

 It was Azriel who approached you. “Ready?” He cocked his head.

“I thought Cassian was going to train me” you furrowed your brows.

“He told me you need some help with your shadows and your focus” he replied straightening his posture. The hurt of your reject flashing in his eyes.

“Okay” you muttered, guilt building in your chest.

He led you to the usual corner. You placed your feet like Cassian had shown you and stared at the training dummy. Azriel placed his hands on your hips to angle them correctly and you heard a gasp behind you two. Both of you snapped your heads to the direction of the gasp. Gwyn was on the ground holding her nose as blood flowed from it. Nesta was by her side muttering apologies and Cassian was standing in front of them, a harsh look on his face. “You lost your focus” Cassian growled.

“I’m sorry” Gwyn said and glanced at your direction; her eyes stayed on Azriel who tensed.

“Okay let’s get back to work” Azriel told you dismissing the look Gwyn sent him.

You tried to focus again, but something wasn’t right. Why was Gwyn staring at you like that. You would shake the thought off, but Azriel tensing was proof that something is going on. The shadows whispering in your ear brought you back from your thoughts. You continued, trying not to blush at the shadowsinger’s praises. Training with Azriel was way more helpful than with Cassian. Not that the warlord didn’t know what he was doing but Azriel could understand the struggle to keep focusing when something cold was whispering in your ears. When training was over your brain felt like a mush and your body ached. Az had a proud yet worried look on his face as you limped to the bench to drink some water.

“You did really good today” he said taking a seat next to you.

“Yeah, and became best friends with the ground” you replied. “I’m a little jealous of that, you’ve hugged the ground so many times that I now believe that you like it more than me.” He pouted. The shadowsinger pouted. AND he made a joke. You blinked and burst into laughter. He grinned and stared at you. “Oh don’t let it go to your head I’m only laughing that much because it was unexpected” you shoved his shoulder and he chuckled. “Nope you just think I’m way too funny” he replied and winked at you.

“You arrogant Illyrian” amusement filled his eyes “You are an Illyrian too” he replied with a teasing smile.

“Maybe I’m arrogant too, we’ll see” you shrugged and got up, picking your stuff to go back to your room.

“Are you coming to Rita’s tonight?” he asked walking next to you. You remembered Nesta telling you that everyone was going during breakfast. You nodded.

“Great I’ll see you there” he offered you a smile and disappeared in his shadows.

The moment the hot water touched your aching body you moaned. All your muscles relaxed, and you wondered if you could just stay in the bathtub for the rest of the month. You knew Mor would burst in your room to get you ready, so this plan was hopeless. You enjoyed the moments of peace not realizing how long you stayed there. The water started getting cold and the door of your bathroom opened, like the house was telling you to get out, you glared at the wall and then chuckled feeling stupid for being mad at a house. With a sigh you grabbed the towel and wrapped it around your body. You entered your room hissing at the cold and cursing yourself for leaving the window open. Dinner appeared on the small coffee table and Mor burst in, Nesta hot on her heels with a bottle of wine. They slammed the door shut, filling your room with giggles as they jumped on your bed, hot plates of food appearing in their hands and three wine glasses next to your plate. You narrowed your eyes. “This belongs to Rhys’ personal collection; we don’t know who took it” Nesta shrugged and they both burst into laughter earning a giggle from you too.

“He’s going to kill us if he finds out” you muttered shaking your head but taking the bottle from her hands to fill the glasses. You all ate the food and got ready. Mor chose the clothes you all would wear and Nesta did your hair before doing her own.

By the time you had to leave you were all tipsy, giggling you all made your way to Rita’s where the rest of the inner circle was waiting for you. You walked to the booth and took a seat next to Azriel who sniffed and smiled teasingly. Rhysand was staring at the three of you, a scowl appearing on his face.

“Please tell me I’m not smelling my wine” he whined throwing his head back desperately. Everyone laughed while Feyre petted his hair cooing “poor Illyrian baby”. Shock was evident in your face as you watched the most powerful high lord acting like a toddler.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re his mate or mother” Amren spoke lifting one brow.

Azriel placed his hand on your thigh relaxing back and then tensed when he realized his actions. Before he could take his hand back you covered it with your own and offered him a sweet smile. You saw relief on his face as he relaxed more. Nesta saw the movement and winked at you. You knew the alcohol made you so bold, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you laid back on him. The others didn’t seem to notice, or they just hid it well as they continued drinking and chatting.

“….and then he was on the ground with just one punch.” Cassian exclaimed throwing everyone into a fit of laughter. He was talking most of the night, he had so many stories from the war and the Illyrian camps, and he told them with such a humorous way. You were amazed by the way he could make such dark stories so fun, but you could see the haunted look behind his eyes. Azriel bumped his shoulder into yours, a curious look on his face. You stared into his eyes, primal instinct taking over you as you captured his lips with your own. He was frozen but after a few licks on his bottom lip he grabbed the back of your head and started leading the kiss, it was hot, messy and needy. When Rhysand cleared his throat you two broke the kiss, staring at each other. He smiled and turned his gaze to his friends who continued their conversation but kept smirking. You made a mental note next time something like that happens to get your shadows to cover both of you.

After some drinks Azriel cleared his throat getting everyone’s attention

“I think me and y/n had enough to drink we are going home” he announced and grabbed your hand. You stood up and followed him after saying your goodbyes to the others who were howling and whistling.

“They are acting like kids” Azriel muttered.

“Lighten up Mr. Grumpy” you giggled. He smiled and grabbed you by the waist shooting up earning a surprised yelp from you. In a matter of seconds you could see every part of Velaris. You felt so lucky to be able to live in a city like this. Azriel landed on the roof of the house and let you go.

“I have wings you know” you teased him.

“I know but I wanted to feel you.” He confessed. “Why’d you kiss me?”

“I don’t know… I felt comfortable like I could belong in this family, and you next to me… it felt right.” You shrugged but then your jaw dropped. “Oh Cauldron boil me, I didn’t ask for your permission I just kissed you, Az I’m so sorry.”

His eyes widened “No. You don’t have to ask for permission to kiss me. Don’t you ever think that again.”. He grabbed your face and slammed his lips on yours, a hard kiss to confirm his words. He left you breathless. Your eyes filled with lust and the smell of your arousal filled the place. His eyes darkened in response, and he pushed you onto the wall, his body covering yours and pushing you harder against the wall. You could feel his breath on your face as he stared deep into your eyes.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish” he growled and lowered his head to your neck, smelling you. You felt his tongue caressing your soft skin only his lips interrupting the trail as he left soft kisses.

“Who told you I can’t finish it?” You breathed and almost screamed when he manhandled you, laying you flat in the middle of the ring. He kept kissing his way down, lifting your dress until it reached your waist. His face was between your thighs, and he stared at you waiting for permission, you nodded and in a blink your underwear was ripped, and his mouth was on you. He licked a long stripe, and his teeth grazed your swollen clit. You moaned his name pleading for more. He chuckled and brought his fingers between your folds, entering them in a harsh move that made you gasp. He removed them and brought them between your lips. “Taste yourself” he ordered. His voice strong and cold. You did as he asked a hum of pleasure deep in your throat. You lapped his fingers tasting yourself until he yanked them out of your mouth, grabbing your jaw and moving your head so you could look at him. “Don’t be greedy leave some for me” he growled and brought his fingers in his mouth, tasting your arousal and saliva. You could climax just by the view. Your heat clamping onto nothing making you more frustrated.

“I want you…please” you whined. A vicious smile appeared on his face as he unbuttoned his pants taking himself out.

“Then take me” he snarled and slammed into you. You cried out in both pleasure and pain making him stop.

“I’m okay” you breathed, and he continued pounding into you, changing his hips’ angle to hit the right spots. You were seeing stars, your throat sore as his name kept leaving your lips like a prayer. You were reaching your high quickly but you wanted him to finish with you, so you stretched your hand caressing the sensitive place on his wings making him shudder.

He snapped his hips once, twice and his body tensed, his cock deep inside you as he filled you up.  A low “fuck” leaving his lips making you follow him crying out his name, and every forgotten God’s name. He throbbed inside you. His hair falling on his face along with drops of sweat. He stared in your eyes, lowering his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss full of care and love. He pulled out and you whined at the empty feeling making him chuckle. He laid next to you staring at the stars.

“I wanted our first time to be gentle, but I couldn’t hold myself with the way you were looking at me and the alcohol I had” he confessed, and you could hear the guilt in his voice.

“It was perfect, I don’t like it gentle” you replied and laid your head on his chest. Your hand caressing his jaw. He took your palm and left a soft kiss. You didn’t know how long you stayed like that or when you dozed off, but when you opened your eyes, you were in your bed. Alone.

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

[neon-lights-and-glitter]

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Series

Lips Of An Angel

You and Jack struggle with the ups and downs of your toxic relationship until you both realize you don’t want anyone else.

Fight The Feeling Prologue

You and Jack meet at a MET gala after party, and slowly fall in love while maintaining your career as a model and his career as a rapper. You keep your whirlwind romance a secret from the public and most of your friends, until Jack makes a mistake he will always regret.

Fight The Feeling

You and Jack get paired up to be in a fake relationship after keeping your real relationship and break up a secret.

I Should Be Missing You

You and Jack deal with the consequences of falling out of love while you are married. Your divorce brings you closer to Urban while Jack tries to decide if he wants you back.

Mixed Emotions

Even though they grew up together, Gabriella and Jack hated each other. As they grow older, their relationship progresses from enemies, to friends enemies with benefits. Until feelings other then hatred get involved.

Single Hearts

Jack Harlow and Sage Taylor have one thing in common: they suffered from failed relationships that they thought would last forever. After crossing paths at an amusement park, Jack missed the chance to catch her name, or so he thought. Fate had them in mind when their kids had a school concert, and they crossed paths again. After exchanging names and numbers, Jack and Sage couldn’t help but feel giddy. Could this be the beginning of something that will last a lifetime?

Drive Safe

Savannah knew she meant nothing to Jack. Sure, he saw her as someone he could rely on when he wanted someone to have sex with. Maybe he’d even consider her a friend because he didn’t want to introduce her as “the girl he fucks”, especially to his parents. That never stopped Savanah from wishing she was something more in Jack’s life even though she could never tell Jack that. She knew he would eventually hurt her, but you can’t change someone if you don’t even try. She also knew that she would get butterflies every time he told her to drive safe.

All of my Jack Harlow Fics (oldest to newest)

Saturday Night Live

The reader is a very famous actress, has been since they were a child. Jack has been very open about his crush. The reader ends up hosting Saturday Night Live the same week Jack is the musical guest.

An Evening I Will Not Forget Part 2

Jack and the reader had been friends as long as they could remember, eventually turning into boyfriend and girlfriend in high school. Until several years later when their relationship fell apart and they had to continue their lives without each other.

Missed You

Jack shows up at your house at 2am because he missed you.

Proposal

Jack takes reader on a helicopter ride in Kentucky or Miami and he proposes afterword it’s at night by the way and urban and everyone set the scene for when they land back at the helipad.

Protect You

Jack wants to keep you and him a secret to protect you and him from the media but it lowkey hurts u. Like let’s say you guys are walking back to ur hotel one night and then he sees paparazzi and instantly drops your hand and your trying to not let it bother u but when he looks up at you after dropping ur hand you have tears in your eyes and he feels bad.

Settle Down

Jack wants to settle down, but you think he should continue to focus on his career.

Mini-Me

Paisley’s first dance recital, where you find out that she truly is a mini-Jack, and Jack, you, Paisley, and Olive start a new tradition.

The Early Years

You met Urban in middle school, which eventually led you to meeting Jack in high school. Urban saw how much you two liked each other before either you or Jack did, eventually setting you two up. Causing you to realize your feelings and make your relationship official shortly after.

Paisley's First Word

You and Jack had been trying to get Paisley to say mama or dada as her first word, but when Urban returns from a trip her first word isn’t what any of you expected.

Pumpkin Patch

Taking Paisley and Olive to a pumpkin patch.

Taking Care Of You

All Jack wants to do while you’re pregnant with your first daughter, Paisley, is take care of you even if it’s something small like putting lotion on your belly. You and Jack also start to celebrate Jack’s birthday with your tradition of giving each other gifts at midnight, though this time it is a matching gift. Jack can’t sleep and ends up talking to Paisley while you’re asleep.

Gentle

Paisley watches how Jack interacts with you during your pregnancy with Olive, and with Paisley being Jack’s mini me, it only makes sense that she copies him.

After Party

Jack and the reader would rather spend the after party alone then with others.

Keeping Secrets Part 2

You decide to tell Urban about your relationship with Jack, but he doesn’t respond in the way you thought he would.

Halloween Costumes

Paisley and Olive pick out their Halloween costumes, along with yours, Jack’s, Urban’s, and Clay’s.

That's Not My Daddy

Paisley and Olive see Jack in his wigs for Saturday Night Live for the first time and Olive refuses to believe it is him.

I'm Not Jealous, Just Protective

You and Jack go out to a club when a guy approaches you to hit on you and Jack gets jealous.

I Love You Because

You are struggling after giving birth to your second daughter Olive between feeling overwhelmed and dealing with the changes that happened to your body during your pregnancies, while also comparing yourself to some of the girls in Jack’s music videos. Jack reassures you that he loves everything about you.

Christmas Date

Knowing Christmas was your favorite holiday, Jack planned a Christmas inspired day for the two of you, decorating your Christmas Tree, watching Christmas movies, looking at Christmas lights, wanting to make your first Christmas as a couple and living together special, then on Christmas you exchange gifts.

Meeting Santa

You and Jack take Paisley and Olive to meet Santa.

Christmas Eve

How you and Jack spend Christmas Eve with Paisley and Olive.

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning with the family and you and Jack, with Clays help, surprise Paisley and Olive with a special present.

Elf Emergency

Olive accidentally touches the Elf on a shelf and Paisley is afraid the elf is going to lose its magic.

24 Hours With Jack Harlow

Based off the Vogue 24 Hours With Jack Harlow video.

I Should Be Missing You

You and Jack deal with the consequences of falling out of love while you are married.

New Sibling Reactions

You and Jack tell Paisley and Olive about their new sibling, except Olive isn’t ready to be a big sister.

Touring & Pregnancy Tests

Towards the end of the Come Home The Kids Miss You tour, you and Jack find out you’re pregnant with baby number 3.

Aren't You Nervous?

How you and Jack find out you are pregnant with your first born, Paisley.

Memories

You and Jack take Paisley and Olive to the park you went to a lot while dating, where they ask you questions about your relationship.

Baby Brother Or Baby Sister

You and Jack tell Paisley and Olive if they are getting a baby brother or a baby sister.

Officially Outnumbered

You give birth to your and Jack's third baby. Paisley and Olive meet their little brother.

First Concert

You and Jack take Paisley to the Eras tour, which happens to be their first concert other then watching Jack preform.

Pool Day

You, Jack, Paisley, Olive, and Hayden spend a day in the pool.

Christmas Day

You, Jack, Paisley, Olive, and Hayden celebrate Christmas.

10 Years Later

You and Jack felt like your family was complete after four kids, but you start thinking about having a fifth baby.

She's Totally Flirting With You

Jack gets hit on by a waitress, though he thinks she's just being nice, Paisley and Olive come to your defense to convince Jack she's flirting with him.

Insta AU’s

Date Night

My Girl

Paisley’s Pregnancy & Birth Announcement 

Olive’s Pregnancy & Birth Announcement

Christmas Trees & Gingerbread Houses

Valentine’s Day

Baby #3 Pregnancy Announcement

Concepts

[llamaqueenprompt]

prologue

Word Count: 0.7k

Before

The setting sun cast a warm glow over the field as the couple embraced themselves.

“You know,” Rory lifted her head from Charles' chest, “I wish I could live here.”

“In Andorra?” He took a bite out of the strawberry and leaned more into the towel that was below him.

“No,” She accepted the strawberry he was offering, “in a field like this.”

“And what’s stopping you?”

She looked at him sideways, “‘Cause that would totally work with me being a doctor.”

“It could,” He pulled her to him, “you could open up your own clinic in a place like this.”

“I don’t know Charlie, I first need the experience and I don’t want to ask my parents for money...” She trailed off, staring at the sky above them, lost in her thoughts.

Charles followed her gaze after dropping a feather-like kiss on her forehead. Silence lingered between them, and while it wasn’t uncommon this time it was different.

It was the last day of their vacation and that meant that reality was approaching rapidly and with it came the question they were both avoiding. What would be of their relationship?

They would both be working somewhat together, but paddock relationships never worked without external problems getting in the middle of the relationship. It was hard, none wanted to let go, but neither knew what to do.

“Rory?” She looked up at him, “What are we going to do?”

She sat up, “About what?”

“Us.”

She turned her back to him and sighed, “Charlie…”

“It’s time we talk about this Rory, it’s the last day of vacation and soon we will be getting back to work…”

Aurora turned around and sat starling Charles with her arms around his neck, he automatically put his arms around her waist, “You know I don’t want to go into work with a relationship.” She confessed, her voice soft, “Paddock relationships are already difficult as it is and me being new I don’t want anyone to think that I got the job because I’m your girlfriend…”

Charles laid his head on her shoulder snuggling closer to her and pulling her to him, Aurora ran her fingers through his hair. This was hard on both of them but they knew that it needed to be done. It would be Rory's first contact with this side of the media and entering it as Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend would only complicate things.

Rory started to feel wetness on her neck making her lift Charles face, “We are going to be okay, I promise.” She pulled his face closer to hers and kissed him, “In a week's time you won’t even remember me,” she teased, attempting to lighten the mood.

“That will never happen.”

Now

“It’s always the same thing every year, they want to introduce us to the team and no one changes.”

“Okay, grandpa,” Lando said, escaping from Lewis’ slap.

To be honest Charles wasn’t really interested in listening to the rest of the drivers bickering. See, the drivers were being introduced to the team they would be working with for that season and right now it was time for the medical team and Charles could wait to see Rory.

He looked to his side when he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Will you stop bouncing on your feet?” Pierre asked, “You’re making me nauseous.”

Charles raised his hands in surrender and stopped moving and started playing with his ring instead. 

“Listen up, everyone,” they all looked at the man, “this is the same thing each year, so let’s get a move on. The only addition we have to the medical team is Aurora Delgado, she just recently graduated medical school so don’t give her a lot of work. I will let you all move around and catch up for a bit while I go and talk to the team executives.”

As the drivers started talking amongst themselves and the people that they already knew, catching up on the summer vacation, Charles made a beeline next to Aurora.

“Hello, you are Aurora Delgado, right?” The boy asked with a smirk on his face.

“Yes, and you are…?” She was going to play along.

“Charles Leclerc,” he picked up her hand and kissed the back of it, “at your service.”