#I don’t really know if that would make sense bc I’ve never played ss so j don’t have much background on the golden goddesses

[puppyeared]

Wyrm on a string

[fellstcr]

canon questionare. / @bloodymoonxvampire​ / ACCEPTING!        ↳  13.  Are there any other characters from the franchise you’d like to play?

        ||. Yaknow, I’ve been considering picking up one of the lettuce fam? Maybe Seteth. I doubt I will though. Come August I’ll only have the energy for 1 muse. And that should be Byleth. But when I was first considering applying I was also turning in my head Dimitri and Rhea lol. I’m so glad I went with my gut! seirosu and areadri are such wonderful partners. The entire castmates list from FE16 are so wonderful, I couldn’t ask for anyone better ;;v;;       OUTSIDE of FE16? Robin. Hands down male robin. He is lingering in the back of my head like the little vessel of an evil dragon-creation boi is. I just... you know. Have to get through the actual rest of Awakening first. RIP

↳  11. Are there some things you dislike about how the show/series/etc. portray the character you have picked up? If so, what?

            ||. Not especially? At least not in the classic sense. Unfortunately, one thing about Byleth being robbed of her voice proper is that a lot of what makes her interesting gets overlooked and swept under the rug. Or misconstrued entirely. Or overshadowed to make way for the infamous (and equally as misused) “player pandering” complaint. Basically what I mean is that her actions/dialogue are either left too vague, or in the case of CF versus every other route,  not explained at all so it doesn’t make a lot of sense — at first. I’ll try to give an example of each. 1. Overlooked          ↳  Byleth’s being a silent protagonist means her efforts to sway her respective lord (not counting SS. She is the lord of that route. God Bless You Seteth you wonderful retainer.) tends to get pushed to the side bc.... “player pandering”, supposedly. (Which is different from what I’ll mention later, promise.) The most I see this come up is with Azure Moon and her influence on Dimitri. Most people say Byleth did absolutely nothing and didn’t deserve to have the last word when it comes to Dimitri’s character arc. I vehemently disagree with this. Player character she may be, but that doesn’t stop her from consistently talking to him during the map exploration days, disagreeing with him during event-cutscenes, and ultimately being the exact person Dimitri needs to hear from to finally live for himself. Felix can’t do it, because Felix isn’t over his own Dimitri-related Trauma (and his dad just died for Dimitri so he’d be especially harsh about.) Rodrigue (Felix’s DAD) is dead, Gilbert (Dimi’s other surrogate dad &. retainer)  can’t stand up to Dimitri for crap and Dedue is too complacent. Not to mention, too, that in every. single. support, event, etc. between Dimitri and Byleth tthe narrative is building up to their moment in the rain. Their Goddess Tower may be optional (which I think in this case is dumb), but when the comment of     “No matter how hard someone begs to be saved, she would never so much as offer her hand. And even if she did, we lack the means to reach out and grasp it.“     Is paid off with  not ONE. but TWO SCENES??? Cos. You know. She IS the goddess. She’s RIGHT THERE. She cares and she’s standing right by one of the 2 people who need her the most out of this entire cast. (The other being El)            Yeah sorry but Byleth not only is her own character but she is a necessary one. And it is done WELL in AM at least, from a writing perspective.

2. Misconstrued         ↳  For... some reason there’s a very... commonplace hot-take that Byleth dislikes the Church, and Rhea, doesn’t care for the doctrine whatsoever and her absolutely loathes her destiny as goddess inheritor. I... genuinely don’t understand that... because 3/4 of her routes are Byleth being pro!church. She may be desperate for answers, and she may be consumed with an intense bout of imposter syndrome , and I would say, yes, she does harbor some misgivings towards Rhea for pushing it all onto her the way she has (and really only then when she thinks about it too long.) but... again. 3/4 routes are pro!church. She either becomes the Archbishop, becomes Queen and does NOT get rid of the church. In the case of CF - the only route where she is not pro!church - she ends up wandering aimlessly in her solo card unless you romance Edelgard or one of the others so... yay? I guess? (Also note: in every route where she ascends to a position of leadership she does go out of her way to help reform the church. It’s explicitly stated a couple of different times.)       TLDR with this one: her lack of voice means her opinions and consistent character traits can and will be up to the respective player to pick and choose from. Even someone who tries to be entirely impartial to bias ultimately will fall into this trap, myself included. (I do try, however, to genuinely keep an open mind to each route. She’s the same person in all of them, so I actually found the challenge of “how to get to CF” a ... difficult but satisfying challenge. You can read those thoughts HERE.)

3. Player Pandering       ↳  This one is about actual instances of player pandering, but there are some decisions you can make in the game that are... kinda strange in context. Romancing Rhea, for one. Like. Actually romancing her, instead of having her S support be... you  know. parental. Or something. Being entirely unable to constantly question Edelgard’s motives in the CF route despite the fact that there’s a chance that people might not play El’s route first, OR maybe only stumbled into the CF route on HAPPENSTANCE rather than by deliberate choice. There are plenty players who might actually like the church, and not necessarily want to lean into the whole “villain route” thing. (For that matter the player pandering in this case leaves it all to outside NPCs to  remind you that. yes. it’s the villain route. I love El because it’s the villain route. She’s wonderful when she’s nuanced.)         There’s probably plenty instances  in AM and VW but it’‘s been a year or so since I’ve played both routes so I can’t confidently give examples but. You get the point.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

“sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hii! Yeah don't worry about it! Live your life, the internet people can wait, I know I appreciate you taking the time to reply, no matter how long it takes! 👍✨

Oh cool! France and LA that must've been fun, have always wanted to go to those places. Will get around to it eventually. I've lived in Brazil, Canada, and now Portugal, but I've also visited Orlando (Disneyland) and Miami in the US. Hoping I can go to Spain next year to visit my best friend too.

What did you say that got people making fun of you? haha Which fic did you insert that in? The only reason I cheat while playing games is bc I get bored easily so I have to add a little bit of spice hahaha and my morals are questionable I guess. 🤷‍♀️ My mbti is the architect (INTJ-T) so I guess that explains things a bit (?). Do you know your mbti? Omg your poor roommate hahaha I mean that's the best kind of winner to be, humble winners are boring as hell lol

Aren't you glad you had those drunken experiences when you were younger instead of now tho? I can't promise I'll never do stuff like that again but I'm fine with it being behind me for now hahaha. Omg you're totally right on the accent thing, hadn't thought about it that way!

What!! You should watch Stranger Things with her! It's sooo good, it's a guaranteed fun time for you two. My favourite episodes of thobm are 4 and 6 too, I like epi 9 only up until Dani's bathtub incident.

I like doing accents too but only to myself bc I'm too self-conscious haha Although I pick up accents really easily it's kinda embarrassing, sometimes people think I'm mocking them. Do people get offended when you try to do their accents? 😂 I got a scholarship at a british english school in my home country when I was a kid so I had an RP accent growing up but ended up with a generic American accent after watching too many American movies and TV shows. Sometimes it comes out generic Canadian too haha. Nordern English accent became my favourite tho after watching Billy Elliott when I was a teen!

Awwh gee thanks! I'm happy you liked my damie fan art! Didn't know you already started writing for medieval AU, makes sense people already thought to send you prompts for it, it's a really cool universe! Looking forward to updates on all your WIPS, love them all! Take your time if you need tho!

Sounds like a really fun weekend! Yeah I know what you mean, don't worry we won't tell them you have a favourite haha. Congrats on coming second on that game of crazy golf! 🎉 and thank you, I will!

Awwh thank you for understanding!! I'll always reply to people's comments eventually it just takes longer sometimes, but I will always get around to it eventually!! France was fun I went to Disney Land Paris and shared a hotel room with my roommate (yes she was on the trip too because she was in another photography class... we have been friends for so long now) it was honestly a lot of fun and I went to LA to visit my ex-girlfriend while we were still together it was a long distance relationship and I went out to LA and my roommate was invited too so we had a trip out there and had a great time I would 100% go back to LA some time!! So jealous that you've lived in Canada that's one place I really wanna go I would love to live there it looks like such a beautiful country!! I would love to go to Orlando and Miami... I wanna see all 50 states eventually if I can... so far I've seen one so only 49 to go haha!! Awwh I really hope you can get out to Spain to see your best friend!! Which is your favourite place you have visited so far? Okay so... the thing I said is in Can't Buy Me Love and it's a bit of a long story so I'll shorten it down here, but basically a group of us were talking about myths and things and I mentioned the myth of being able to see the Great Wall of china from the moon (you can't) and to add to the myth as a buster I genuinely said "Well that's the thing, people say you can see the Great Wall of China from the moon... but can you see the moon from the Great Wall of China?" and it took a good five minutes of people telling me you could see it from my house and just about anywhere else to realise that, if the moon is out, and it's a clear night, and you're y'know facing the moon... you can pretty much see it anywhere... but that's what people still mock me about... that I asked if you can see the moon from the Great Wall of China... so I put that in CBML and had it as a story Dani tells Jamie. Haha I love your reason for cheating and think it's as good as a reason as any haha!! I do know my mbti... mine is the campaigner...EFNP-T... I don't know what these mean either I read it a while ago but forgot what it meant I just know what I am haha... oh yeah she's had a lot to put up with so she just won't play games with me anymore... oh yeah I agree humble winners are okay but I do like a good bit of bragging when you win a game I am glad yeah... although the road sign incident was only... 3 years ago haha like I would like to say I was a lot younger then but I wasn't haha the black out incident I was though... I can't drink much anymore though because of medication I'm on (life long medication) so I can have maybe one or two drinks and that's it so I can't do things like that again which is probably a good thing really!! Haha best way to be don't make promises like that because that is a sure fire way to definitely do it again the second you make that promise the opportunity to do it again will show itself haha!! Yeah Jamie just has no accent to me like she just talks like most people I know it's only when I saw people talking about it that I realised to some people the Northern accent is exactly that... an accent haha I LOVE episode 9 for me 4,6, and 8 are a joint favourite like I can't pick between them and then it's episode 9 because I do love it and I love seeing them be that happy for the first part of the episode but then it just gets so sad and I can't take it!! I do accents all the time around anyone even though I am terrible at them haha... nah people don't ever get offended they just sort of smile and shake their heads at me... some people have asked me to do their accent before but I mean, I am sure eventually someone will be offended there's a first time for everything... I just have an accent that's really similar to Jamie's it's not the exact same but it's very close I love that you've had so many accents for so many reasons... omg yeah the accent on Billy Elliot is my favourite accent ever, it is a northern accent but it's from a city called New Castle which is SO different to some

other northern accents... it's the Geordie accent and it's just beautiful I could honestly listen to people from New Castle talk for hours- people from South Shields also sound like that (SS is really close to New Castle) I can see why that accent is your favourite I wish I talked like that I loved that fan art I thought it was amazing!! Yeah I haven't written much of it but I have some of it written and when I say some I mean I have like 4 different scenes written from different points of the fic and each scene is only like 1k words so far!! It's such a cool universe and I am so happy people have sent me prompts for it!! Awwh thank you so much I'm glad you're looking forward to the updates of my WIPs that really means a lot to me!! I've had a great weekend but I am so tired now totally and utterly done after the weekend I've had haha... I wouldn't say I have favourites I have just spent more time with one niece than the other because since she was really young I've looked after her while her parents have been at work and I've had breaks from work / college / university so I have spent so much time with her and she's turning into a little mini me with some stuff she does but I love all my nieces and nephews the same (and I have so many nieces and nephews haha) Awwh thank you!! I appreciate that, still feeling really proud of my second place in crazy golf haha!! and you're welcome!! ☺️

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

My initial impression of Kieran was that he was an anxious, weak nerved kiss-up. I mean he doesn’t make any attempt to fight back when Arthur captures him, even if he stands there and does nothing. Dude’s got a gun. Makes zero attempt to go for it. My initial thoughts was he was too cowardly to even fight back, when in reality Arthur was running for him with a lasso. His hands are literally full. Who Arthur is doesn’t really matter; he doesn’t have a weapon drawn and is clearly trying to take him alive. Unless he’s a massively terrible shot, he could’ve easily shot Arthur. Clearly he’s more afraid of what Colm will due to him than just dying(which makes sense, especially with how he went out : )))) ), so it really would’ve been in his best interest to die trying to kill Arthur instead of being captured, most likely killed, and most likely tortured beforehand. Far as I can figure, reasons for just surrendering would’ve been

Fear (logical, but with his biggest fear being whatever Colm would do to him, doesn’t seem as likely, even if he was straight up panicking)

Pacifism (not saying he’s a pacifist, but he’s definitely not a fighter by nature, despite his will to live) 

Once he’s captured, he holds out for about a month in sh*t conditions. He breaks once they turn their violent attention to him, but even then he still tried to hold out. The only reason I can think of why he wouldn’t just talk is fear of what Colm would do to him if he made it out alive. If he was scared that the Van Der Lindes would kill him after he talked, he could’ve stayed quiet longer, I guess, though really who could hold out when you’re being threatened with castration lmao.

After the fact, I expect my initial impression to be right. It wasn’t. I mean, I was 100% right about him being a genuinely nice person, not exactly cut out for outlaw life, and not a rat or weaselly person. Things I were wrong about were his general demeanor. 

He’s a naturally positive and friendly person. Despite being constantly picked on and flat out threatened, he’ll even greet Sadie(who is probably most likely to kill him in the beginning, let’s be honest) with a level of confidence I didn’t expect. He doesn’t slink around her with his head down, but is 100% aware that she hates him, and I’ve never heard him try to change that. He’ll greet her, but goes out of his way to let her know that “I’m here and realize that you hate me so I’m giving you space”. Anyone else who calls him “O’Driscoll”, he’ll get upset and correct them. Sadie straight up tells him to die and he doesn’t say boo. I love that he is aware of her pain and doesn’t try to change her feelings about him just so he can sleep better at night. He plays the long game; respecting her boundaries, and not giving her any other reasons to hate him, hoping that someday she’ll maybe at least not despise him for just being connected to her enemies in the past. He could b*tch and moan about how he had nothing to do with Jake’s murder; he wasn’t there, he didn’t pull the trigger, and he didn’t want that to happen. He really is innocent. But he leaves that and her the f*ck alone, the only contact he initiates is just general politeness. She makes real threats, and he has ever reason to believe her, but he still has the balls to not cower around her. If anyone else in the gang makes any kind of “O’Driscoll” comment, he gets genuinely irritated and corrects them, even if it’s hopeless. Not just the women, who(save for Sadie and Mrs. Grimshaw) aren’t a threat. But he’ll get upset and snap back at Arthur and Javier that he’s not an O’Driscoll. I don’t believe for a second that Kieran thinks he could beat either of them in a fight. He’s not a fighter, and he’s also not stupid. He’s survived about half his life being beaten around. The reason he’s survived could be luck, but also him knowing how far he can press his luck with very dangerous people. I used to find it amusing in the beginning when he’d snap back, because like. Lmao, you really wanna get upset with Arthur? Seriously? Dude. Don’t go there.

He stands up for himself, and is confident enough in himself to be as bold as to say to Arthur’s face, that he’s not a bad person, and that’ll he’ll warm to him eventually. That also caught me off guard, because I was under the general assumption “god this kid is me. anxious af, doesn’t like people, just likes horses”. I projected far too much lmao, because despite him feeling more comfortable with horses, he’s pretty outgoing, in a confident way. If people are just indifferent to him, he has no problem going out of his way to greet people with confidence. When he’s being bullied, he’s ballsy enough to stand up for himself, and when people are genuinely nice to him, he’ll show signs of being flustered/anxious, likely due to the fact he probably has very little experience with kindness. Whatever kindness he experienced outside family was most likely fake and extremely conditional. He never made any comments about having relationships of any kind with anyone. His life has been about survival. He knows how to not press his luck with the wrong people, knows basic social manners(how to be friendly without being overbearing, how to give people space, and even when he helped Molly out of the stagecoach), but I feel like he has the least experience in healthy relationships. Relationships where someone is actually nice to him. That’s also why I’m 1,000% peeved that we didn’t really get to befriend him. Watching him come out of his shell more was so nice. Save for his massive guilt about Jack(which wasn’t even his fault anyway), he was finally starting to feel like he belonged there. Sh*t hurts man.

I think the thing that caught me most off guard was his level of confidence that you really get to see in his fishing side mission.

Arthur says that he’s(Arthur) not that great a fisherman, and Kieran, not missing a beat, comes back with “But I am! *laughs* I’ll teach you something.”, all of which happens seconds after Kieran is done straight up mocking Arthur’s teasing of him. If I hadn’t spent 5,000 years wandering around camp, and getting to see everyone’s personalities that you’d miss if you flew through story mode, that mission would’ve made my head spin. If your impression of Kieran is “soft scared horse boy”, there’s so much that happens in like, a minute that’d throw you off.

Arthur asks Kieran if he’s going fishing

Kieran, likely caught off guard by someone going out of their way to interact with him in a non-hostile way, says yes

Arthur, incapable of just being nice to him follows up with a threatening tone “... or running back to Colm O’Driscoll?”, bc f*ck this guy actually knowing I’m starting to warm up to him, I have to be a Big Tough Outlaw bc I am a Bad Man

Kieran, irritated and a bit nervous now, snaps back that of course he’s not 

Arthur responds by bumping his fist against Kieran’s shoulder/chest, gives an amused chuckle, and responds with “pffft, I’m just joking w/ u lol relax”  (I love this interaction because it really shows, at least to me, that Arthur is genuinely starting to like Kieran. instead of continuing along the lines of “watch yourself”, his tone and body language gestures that “I don’t mean it, I’m just messing with you”. Even if he’s still being an *ss, it’s not like his previous interactions. The playful physical contact, non-menacing laugh, and “I’m just kidding w/ u” comment are all friendly gestures. He wouldn’t do any of those if he actually didn’t like Kieran. Arthur’s not a touchy-feely “I’ll fake like I’m your friend so I can slit your throat later” kind of person)

Kieran’s nervousness instantly melts away and he responds with “wow. ur so funny. hah hah. rlly had me goin there. ur hilaaaaarious.” he’s 100% done and just rolls his eyes at this point.

Arthur just goes “shut up”, and I love the way he says it this time bc he’s more like. Offended/irritated that he’s being sassed instead of actually meaning “shut up or else”. He’s all “>:((( shut up brat” and it’s cute lmao. 

Not two seconds after Arthur tells Kieran to shut up, he absolutely doesn’t and invites him fishing. Like, a genuine “hey wanna go fishing?” and not like, a “desperate for your approval, please give me more opportunities to prove myself to you”.

Arthur says he’s not a great fisherman, and Kieran responds with “Yeah but I am!”, laughs, and says he can teach Arthur something.  I found this part super fascinating, because as someone with severe anxiety, my response would’ve been totally different. I’m confident in a few areas; I know what I’m good at, and what I’d be semi-competent at teaching people, but if someone-- especially someone higher on the social ladder than I am-- said that they weren’t good at something, that I was really good at, I always try and downplay things so as not to make the other person feel like they’re lesser than me. I like to think my art skills are decent, so if that kind of situation came up “I’m not a great artist”, my response would be more like “Heh neither am I, but I know some tricks that have made things a lot easier. I can show them to you!” Kieran straight up told Arthur Morgan that he’s a great fisherman, and could teach Arthur something. Former O’Driscoll, teaching Dutch’s right hand man something. That was a cocky move, even if it’s true. I love that he has the confidence to flat out say that without even backpedaling. Kid knows his worth and isn’t afraid to just blurt it out.

Arthur responds with a friendly “Sure”. Not like an “yeah alright fine”, but more like how he responds to people who considers friends. Come to think of it, other than certain instances where Kieran pushes his luck here, Arthur is friendlier/less hostile and grumpy with Kieran than he is with Sean lmao. Granted, Sean is uhhh, overbearing and obnoxious, but Arthur sees him as a younger sibling, not an ex-O’Driscoll. 

On their way to the beach, Kieran brings up past vs present. “who would’ve thought we’d be going fishing together when it wasn’t that long ago that I was tied up on the back of your horse begging for mercy?” He says it with such a light hearted tone like it wasn’t even a big deal. He could’ve died from dehydration/starvation/the cold, and he’s literally like “isn’t life funny?” Don’t know whether to be impressed that it didn’t leave him with serious trauma and resentment or said that maybe he doesn’t see it as that big a deal because he’s had worse. Either way, the way he says it is interesting to me.

Ofc Arthur has to remind him “how do you know I’m not dragging you away from camp to kill you?” bc again, can’t let this kid know I’m actually starting to like him. He Must Know that I am a Big Bad Threat.  “..because I saved your life”  “ya and every day I don’t kill you I’m saving yours” “you don’t mean that” “yes I do I am Serious so shut it” Kieran knows Arthur well enough that while the threat is still a touch unnerving, he has the guts to point out that he doesn’t mean it. he knows Arthur well at this point, and despite the slight possibility he might actually mean that, he choses to believe it’s just Arthur being... Arthur.

Throughout the trip, Kieran opens up about camp life and his past, and in general Arthur doesn’t have anything that nice to say. Arthur’s genuinely a nice person, but I wouldn’t call him “soft”, so that doesn't’ surprise me. Despite this, he’s not exactly mean to Kieran like he used to be. He’s not remotely sympathetic, but at the same time he wouldn’t be for really anyone else, either. Maybe the women bc women, but. However, towards the end, when Kieran talks about losing his family and being on his own since then, Arthur does comment along the lines of “well, look at it this way, you’ll never be alone again”. I could be misinterpreting it, but I think that’s Arthur’s way of saying “you’re one of us now”. Can’t really say anything nice to him or show sympathy, but “you’ll never be alone again” could’ve been his way of trying to comfort him in an offhand sort of way.

Not what Arthur meant, but I couldn’t help but laugh when Kieran was like “do you think Dutch trusts me now?” me and Arthur both laughed, sad thing is I laughed bc I’m like “yo Dutch don’t even trust Arthur lmaooo, shoot for something actually obtainable Kieran”

This is already five pages longer than I intended it to be lmao, but literally my entire point is that my impression of Kieran had been that he was a soft, nervy person with low self confidence. The way I see it, all the evidence proves that he’s a lot more than a lot of people give him credit for. 

He is a sweetheart by nature; I really don’t think there’s a mean bone in his body. He’ll stick up for himself and get irritated, but I can’t think of a single instance where he did or said anything mean-spirited. He’s helpful for the sake of being helpful, and is grateful for any actual kindness shown to him. He grows to genuinely care about the gang’s overall well being, and goes so far as to flat out state he’d give his life for Jack’s if he could, despite Jack being a brat to him in the beginning. But despite the fact that he’s a kind hearted individual, he will stand up for himself, and if the follower glitch dialog is accurate, he will engage in combat if he has to. A lot of his dialog is pretty snarky too, which I thought was interesting. I thought he’d be a lot more jumpy and nervous during a shootout, but again I was wrong.  To me all evidence points to his anxiety/nervousness all being circumstantial. It really only presents itself when his safety is actively being threatened, and in foreign situations(people going out of their way to be friendly to him; catches him off guard). So yeah, I think you could technically call him an anxious person and it be somewhat accurate, but he’s not anxious like people today are. His anxiety isn’t “across a broad range of circumstances”, as are anxiety disorders. I think it’s more accurate to say that Kieran is a pretty self confident, moderately outgoing person with a bright personality, despite the sh*t he’s been and still going through. And that’s what I love about him.

I started out feeling bad for him, with a touch of amusement, just for the fact that I really did pity him. He just seemed like such an unfortunate person. I felt really bad having to bring him in, because my general impression was that he’s really not meant for the outlaw life and was probably a nice person. Hated having to bring him in, but having read his bio before playing the game, I was at least relived that his position as part of the gang meant that me bringing him in wasn’t going to result in having to be the cause of his demise. Him being tied up for weeks made me feel really bad since I couldn’t do sh*t to help him out any, because Arthur didn’t give a damn. Poor thing didn’t even have shelter when it rained in 40℉ weather, and didn’t even have his coat on. Once he was free to move around, I was a bit surprised at how confident he was in greeting Arthur. Save for Tilly, in my game, Kieran greets Arthur more than anyone else in camp. Always bright and cheery. Seeing as how I spent most of my time in camp on the outskirts doing chores(see also: avoiding Dutch lmao), running into Kieran a lot was unavoidable, especially because Arthur’s morning routine is cooking breakfast by the campfire. Eeeevery morning, there’s Kieran. Literally can tell what hour it is by where Kieran is and what he’s doing, and vice versa. If it’s 2pm, I know exactly where Kieran is. With how much time I spent at camp, it didn’t take any time at all before I was very familiar with him. I never had any negative feelings or suspicion towards him, but other than our shared fondness for horses, I had no real reason to like him(pity isn’t exactly a reason to like someone after all). But I grew fond of him so quickly ever since dragging him down from Colter, especially after he saved Arthur. He was brave enough to stick up for himself, brave enough to risk his life saving Arthur, and brave enough to state that he’s “one of you now”. He does more than his fair share of chores every day, stays out of everyone’s way, and remains bright and friendly despite his sh*t circumstances. Oh and he loves horses. Those are the reasons I grew attached to him, and still am. I thought he was just 1889 me, but now I realize he’s a lot of what I wish I was. I love his confidence, despite the fact that he has no one backing him up. Ever. I have supportive people backing me, and yet if someone says sh*t to my face it’s going to make me seriously question my worth. Kieran Duffy fights back anxiety, plants his feet and defends himself. I’m f*cking proud of that boy.

Oh my GOD this is embarrassingly long lmao, but I f*cking love Kieran Duffy with all my heart and I feel like so many overlook how strong he actually is. He’s not an ~anxious soft boy~. He’s sweet, and kind, hard working and self reliant, open and honest, confident and snarky, and is just overall such a lovable, wonderful person. He’s not a weak little snitch, nor a skittish people-pleaser. He wants to be liked for who he is, and while he’s always trying to prove himself, he plays the long game and lets that happen naturally. He’s not a boot licker like Micah. I hate that a lot of the gang gave him such constant sh*t, and that despite the fact no one liked him, Micah was treated like “one of the gang”, when he said so much sh*t. Motherf*cker made comments about throwing out the women since they were “dead weight who you can’t even f*ck”, and older “less useful” members like Uncle and Swanson. Meanwhile Kieran works himself to death on a daily basis, but all the Big Men of camp pretty much hold his past over him constantly, despite the fact that he didn’t have a choice, and wasn’t even really part of the gang. It’s just really sh*tty and I hate it lmao.

I’m going to shut up now and pray to GOD this doesn’t make it into the tags or so help me I’ll tag it later lmao. 

[aschenink]

Wait what. Zelda fanfic??

Me, seeing this in my inbox: “my sins have caught up with me” 

I feel obligated to start this with the disclaimer that the reason I really started writing (ie actually committed to a project and started developing any inkling of skill) was so I could write unrealistic gay smut Zelda fanfic when I was 13. Also, I’ve got a Navi tattoo on my foot so I’d like to use this opportunity to just go ahead and declare the LoZ-trash throne for myself. 

So yeah! I’ve been quietly working on this gigantic Skyward Sword canon-divergence/post-canon story for a couple months now? I was at my parents’ house for spring break in March and on a whim set up the Wii to play SS, which was a weird experience since I hadn’t played it for several years and on loading it up was faced with the reminder that I’d named Link “Baby~” to get a kick out of Ghirahim saying it, and after all the cringing that invoked, I was drop-kicked by the reality that my memory’s not entirely faulty and Ghirahim–and honestly all of SS–really just Is Like That.

And once I got over that bout of cringing I realized Ghirahim actually still vibes with me and 13yo me knew what she wanted and was onto something; I simultaneously redeveloped my hatred for SS!Zelda and figured I should shove all of that into one fic, because, why not? And then the stars aligned and I didn’t sleep for three days because the fanfic writer in me had taken back over and punted me to 2012.

Anyway the concept for my fic is under the cut to spare innocent souls but unrelated takeaways: 

This fanfic is the only writing project I’ve literally ever had where I’ve sat down and been able to plot the entire thing in one go and have it make sense and I’m… still overwhelmed by that. 

I wrote 30k in 4 days because of this bad boy *slaps fic*

I love writing for Legend of Zelda. The fandom itself is very chill and that’s great but, imo, more importantly the characters are perfect to write for. There’s so little canon characterization (esp. for Link) that you’re really just given a few core concepts and get to run free with the characterization–canon is huge so there’s infinite space to run there and, simultaneously, the vague characterization makes it easy to transpose into AUs.

Skyward Sword spoilers under the cut but it’s 2019 sooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Okay secondary (& tertiary) disclaimer: it’s absolutely a GhiraLink fic because it’s what 13yo me would have wanted and it’s what current me wants too tbh but Ghirahim is out of character because… man, I love him, but his canon behaviors are just A Little Too Much for me and I’m incapable of recreating that (and unwilling to try). Imagine if Ghirahim was like… five years more mature. And looked like Matteo Martari. And had at least five brain cells. 

:’) I pretend I’m bigger than this but I’m not, and we should all know it. 

Anyway the premise is basically: What if Hylia wasn’t necessarily a benevolent goddess and Demise wasn’t necessarily a world-eating demon, and it was only portrayed this way to convince the bearer of the Triforce to side with her and keep the world under her influence? What if Link wasn’t necessarily destined to be the bearer and it was essentially a role up for grabs, one that Ghirahim desperately wants for himself? What if they’re equals? What if--

What if none of that is necessarily true either, but it’s what Ghirahim tells Link to further his own plans?

And it sort of goes on like that for a while. 

It’s super long and starts out with canon and follows the entire game with minimal divergence, with the exception that Ghirahim works with Link to temper Fi’s blade because Link is slow, Ghirahim can’t do it himself, and also it’s kind of fun for both Ghirahim and I to watch Link torment himself about having Friendly Feelings for his rival only for Ghirahim to stomp on his throat. Also, Ghirahim rather bluntly comes out and warns Link that he’s being used and Link, who’s reasonably resentful about how Hylia’s using him and his feelings for Zelda, sort of just goes

Alas, it’s not enough, Link is a Good BoyTM and Demise gets sealed away and Hylia wins, canon as usual. Except Link likes Ghirahim an embarrassing amount and Ghirahim manages to bind to him before Demise can completely crush him, which is great!

Because now we’re like 90k in the hole and finally getting somewhere!

Ghirahim’s in an absolutely horrid state after the battle with Demise and Link, after his own recovery period, is pretty desperate to get away from Hylia, so they (angstily) agree to do whatever it takes to repair Ghirahim, which is basically to temper him the way Fi was tempered but with demonic flames instead. The flames are in temples based off of Ocarina of Time’s Shadow Temple, and Twilight Princess’s Temple of Time & Snowpeak Top.

So they’re alone on the road together for months, and: Emotion! Angst! Saving each other’s lives! Several deadly sins, but especially lust! Slow reveal of Ghirahim’s Tragic BackstoryTM! Quicker reveal of Ghirahim bathing because emotionally I’ll forever be 13 years old and will never get over my desire for stupid flamboyant villains! Ghirahim reveals magic that doesn’t just throw kunais, like heating spells that require them to cuddle when it’s cold and they’re camping in the wild!

What. I already said I’m trash and not above anything. Cuddling is the fastest way to a hero’s heart and that’s the hill I’m dying on.

Oh. Important: I headcanon that Fi doesn’t actually have to physically manifest to speak with Link, and could just talk to him in his head--so now that Ghirahim is sword-bound to Link, he’s the one in Link’s head. That generally goes about as well as can be expected and is why Ghirahim is almost constantly physically manifested, because Hero Trauma has made Link’s head a MESS

Hylia also happens to be able to weasel into Link’s head, which is a source of Big Angst, bc Link has definitely caught feelings for one (1) stupid tall demon, and Ghirahim...

I mean, I said Ghirahim has five brain cells and at this point that’s more than even I have, so he’s got a plan that’s much bigger than what Link knows of. One way or another, he’s going to be one to pry that Triforce from Link, he’s going to be the one to live forever in a reincarnation loop, and he’s going to be the one who decides which way the world tilts in the grand scheme of things. 😈

I’m not posting it anywhere yet because honestly I’m an overwriter and self indulgent and frankly it’s a huge concept!!! I’m convinced this fic is gonna be at least 250k words so I don’t want to post it until it’s completely written bc the odds of me drafting half of it and then giving up are Very High. But like. I have so much fun with this project (currently titled En Passant, after the chess move, for, uh, symbolic purposes I guess), it’s super relaxing to work on in comparison to original fiction 😍 

If you’ve read this to the end I owe you my soul and I am so sorry for my nonsense.

[ukulelewrites]

Veritaserum

A/N: my first nct dream fic!!!! this has been in the works for 5 months now bc i kept getting sidetracked with other fics and miscellaneous personal affairs but here it is~~~ i hope y’all enjoy!

Pairing: NCT Dream’s Jaemin x Reader

Genre: Fluff/Slytherin!Reader x Hufflepuff!Jaemin AU

Word Count: 5.4k 

Veritaserum:  "Three drops of this and even You-Know-Who himself would spill out his darkest secrets."

Don’t you ever feel like the universe ever just looked down on you and went, “fuck you, Y/N?” This was definitely one of those days.

See, you were mindlessly walking back to the Greenhouses since you had to ask Professor Sprouts an extremely pressing question regarding the cultivation of peaches for a certain potion you were concocting. Simple stuff really, no way you’d get harm doing something as simple as walking, right? Wrong, 100% completely wrong. Just as you turn the corner of the corridor leading to the Greenhouses, a sudden force comes barreling right into you, knocking you off of your feet and falling backwards onto the floor. The last thing you saw before screwing your eyes shut was a blur of peachy hair. Your back comes upon impact with the floor, and you could feel the weight of your barreller on top of you. However, your mind comes to a rushing halt when you realized that there was also something brushing against your lips very softly before the feeling is gone. Your eyes snap open when you hear a murmured apology, and all you could catch of your first-kiss-stealer’s appearance was his peach-colored hair and his yellow & black robes flowing behind him.

“What happened to you?” your best friend, Donghyuck asks when he spies you storming through the Great Hall’s doors and towards the Slytherin table. The moment you sat down, you slam your head down on the dining table and let out an obnoxious groan, earning a handful of curious glances from your peers. “Okay, Y/N, what crawled up your ass and laid its eggs?” Donghyuck doesn’t even look up from his mashed potatoes when he asks, already used to your dramatics. You give him a grunt in reply. “I swear, Y/N, with your dramatic ass, I’m surprised the Sorting Hat didn’t drop you in Gryffindor,” he says with an eye roll.

“That’s not a nice thing to say about us Gryffindors,” Mark pouts, arriving at the table just to check on you. Unfortunately for Donghyuck, he caught the Slytherin boy’s remark.

“Just look at them!” Donghyuck scoffs, waving his fork in your general direction.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Mark asks. His brows furrow in concern. You lift your head from the table and gave the upperclassman a pout. Donghyuck just scoffs.

“Don’t give my boyfriend that face,” he huffs. You stick your tongue out at the brunet.

“I lo...ss...day,” you mutter.

“What’d you say?” Mark asks, leaning in closer. Donghyuck does too.

“I los...my...irst...ss...day…” you say again, this time just a decibel louder.

“Yah, Y/N, how can you expect us to comfort you if we can’t even hear what you’re saying,” Donghyuck snaps. Mark hits his shoulder and sends him a warning glare.

“I LOST MY FIRST KISS TODAY!” you yell, causing the entirety of the Great Hall to snap their head towards you. “Great,” you mumble, trying very hard to sink yourself further into the bench, “just great.”

“Who would kiss you?” Donghyuck snorts, earning another hit from his boyfriend. “Fine, who kissed you?” Right when he asks, a certain peach-haired boy walks into the Great Hall; this time, however, his hair is much more mussed up, dirt and grass stains his shirt and cheeks, and the yellow and black robe was no longer draping his body but carelessly thrown over his shoulder. You freeze up once your eyes land on him. Your two friends quip their eyebrows at your odd behaviour before following your line of vision.

“Wait, hold up,” Mark starts, “are you telling me—”

“Na Jaemin claimed your virgin lips?” Donghyuck hisses. You quickly lunge forward and cover your best friend’s big fat mouth with your hand.

“Shush it!” you snap, your voice barely above a whisper. “He might hear you!”

“I can’t believe you let the biggest flirt in the entire school kiss you?” Mark questions, “Like, Y/N, our beloved cynical snake, let the smiliest, flirtiest boy kiss them? And it was their first kiss too?” The poor Gryffindor sits down for a second to process the overwhelming information. “Wow, that’s actually wild,” he utters.

“It wasn’t like I purposefully let him kiss me,” you mutter, suddenly becoming way more interested in your soup.

“Are you trying to tell me he accidentally kissed you?” Donghyuck teases, but at the notice of your miniscule nod, his eyes widen. “Oh shit, how’d that happen?”

“Muffliato,” you mutter, waving your wand under the table. Once you ensure none of your fellow housemates were eavesdropping, you retell to Mark and Donghyuck exactly how a certain peach-haired Hufflepuff stole your virgin lips.

“Think he knows what he did?” Mark asks. You look over to the Hufflepuff table. Jaemin has the sleeve of his dress shirt rolled up and his tie loose; he was currently in the middle of recounting some anecdote from Quidditch practice to the flock of yellow & black-robed girls situated around him.

“I doubt it,” you snort, “It doesn’t matter anyway; it’s just a kiss.”

“You’re a filthy liar, Y/N L/N,” you curse under your breath. Ever since the incident, you have been spying that cursed, albeit beautiful, boy much more often. Like, you knew you share classes with him, but now you find your eyes wandering towards his direction during Herbology and Charms and Potions.

“Y/N L/N?” Professor Flitwick’s voice breaks through your reverie, “May you go ahead and demonstrate the proper motion for Aguamenti? It seems that a certain group,” he sends a pointed look towards Jaemin and his friends, the party looking significantly singed, “seemed to have forgotten what we had learned in our previous lesson.”

“Of course, Professor.” You get out of your seat and stand in the center of the room. Your eyes flicker across the room for a second, briefly making eye contact with Jaemin before focusing back to the wand in your hand. You will your face to stop getting so hot after realizing exactly how intently the peach-haired Hufflepuff was staring at you. “Aguamenti,” you state, moving your wand in a fluid motion, mimicking the movement of the waves. A gentle stream of water spurts from the tip of your wand and into the potted plant placed on Professor Flitwick’s desk. The class gives you a polite round of applause, and Professor Flitwick beams at you.

“My pansies are quite happy they’ve finally been watered,” he jests, “10 points to Slytherin for Y/N’s excellence in the Augamenti charm!” His eyes then flicker back to the Hufflepuffs’ side of the classroom. “And I advise you,” he says looking pointedly at Jaemin, “to follow Y/N’s example the next time I ask you all to demonstrate the charm. Class is dismissed!” You gather your books and parchment into your bag and catch up with Donghyuck at the door.

“I think your 10 points just put us in the lead for the House Cup,” your best friend cheers as the two of you made way towards the Quidditch field; he sits on the bleachers and works on homework while you whiz around on your Nimbus 2001 and run drills with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team. “Now just continue being the giant ass nerd you are, and we might finally kick Gryffindor off of their 3-year win streak.”

“I thought you told Mark you weren’t salty about them winning last year?” you ask, turning towards your friend and quirking a brow.

“Sometimes, little white lies won’t hurt the relationship. It’ll only preserve it,” he says sagely, “Plus, you’re always complaining about how they win everything, so don’t pretend you’re not plotting to steal the House Cup away from them this year.”

“Well-”

“Y/N!” a voice rings out from behind you, promptly interrupting your sentence. You whip your head around to see Jaemin running up towards you, his yellow and black robe billowing behind him. Immediately you tense up.

“Hi, Jaemin,” Donghyuck greets. The Hufflepuff gives him a nod of acknowledgement before turning towards you.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks you.

“You kinda just did,” Donghyuck interjects again. You glare at him, and he simply raises his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave. See you at the field, Y/N.”

“What’s up, Jaemin?” you ask, trying to play it at cool as possible.

“Um, well,” he dips his head, and you’re faced with a mop of peachy hair. When he looks up at you, his face is adorned with a boyish, shy smile. Jaemin rubs at the back of his neck before he asks you, “Can you help me with Charms?” You’re taken aback by his question. Mainly because you were surprised it wasn’t about the accidental kiss the two of you had shared. He must’ve sensed your hesitancy because he immediately spoke up. “I know we aren’t close, but you’re the best in our N.E.W.T level class, and I’ve been struggling a lot with the technical side of it. I figured you would be able to help me?” he pleads.

“I guess I can?” you reply, “I can’t today since I have Quidditch practice, but I’m free after dinner to help you.”

“Really?” he beams, “That’s awesome, Y/N. Thank you so much!” Jaemin’s smile catches you off guard because you never thought any guy with pink hair could look that beautiful. “I’ll meet up with you after dinner!”

“Watch out, L/N!” your team captain, Yuta, shouts from above you. However, his warning was absolutely useless when a Bludger comes barreling into you and knocks you to the left. The Quaffle you had in your hand went falling towards the ground. “Time out!” Yuta bellows, and the entire team flies back towards the ground.

“You alright, Y/N?” Hyunjin, a fellow Chaser, asks once everyone reached the ground.

“Yeah, sorry for being distracted,” you apologize, “I just had something on my mind.”

“Well get your head in the game, L/N,” Yuta barks, “We have a game this Saturday against Hufflepuff, and they’ve actually been good this year. I’m not about to lose our Quidditch Cup streak to them.”

“Got it,  Captain,” you reply, mounting your broom and heading back up.

“God, that looks like it hurts,” Donghyuck mutters as he peers at the blotch of red that mars your right arm.

“It’s definitely going to leave a bruise,” Yuta chimes in as he plops himself down across the table from  you. “Now, Y/N, I have some ideas for drills next week and-” Your captain stops talking to glare behind your head. “What do you want?”

You quirk a brow at Yuta, and he juts his chin forward in response. You turn around and find yourself greeted by the yellow and black tie of a certain Hufflepuff.

“Uh, I just wanted to see if you were still down with meeting up after dinner?” Jaemin asks, trying not to waver under your captain’s glower.

“Yeah, there’s an empty classroom we could use on the 2nd floor. Just meet me there,” you reply.

“Awesome! I’ll see you later then!”

The moment Jaemin settles back down at the Hufflepuff table, Yuta kicks your leg from under the table.

“What’s that for?” you snap, already fed up with the number of bruises accumulating on your body.

“I can’t believe you’re flirting with Hufflepuff’s Seeker! Right in front of my salad too!” Yuta exclaims, exaggeratedly gesturing towards his plate.

“We weren’t flirting,” you reply, “I’m just helping him with Charms.”

“But if you don’t help him with Charms, he’ll fail and won’t be able to play in the upcoming match!”

“Guaranteed win for Slytherin,” Donghyuck chimes in with his mouth full of cake.

“And this is why we’re considered the ‘evil’ House,” you mutter, not even sparing your friends a chuckle.

“Fine, but if we lose the game this Saturday, it’s on you.”

“Yeah, yeah, Cap'n, it’s on me.”

“How did you do that?” Jaemin exclaims as he watches water flow out of the tip of your wand.

“It’s the same thing Professor Flitwick has been trying to teach you for the past week though?” you say with a quirked eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, but I don’t really pay attention in that class,” he mutters at the end of his sentence.

“What do you pay attention to then?” you prod.

Jaemin averts their gaze. “I, uh, well, I just watch Yukhei shove copious amounts of Bertie Botts’ Every Flavor Beans in his mouth and pray he doesn’t die of sensory overload,” he pauses to run his excuse over in his head again before nodding, “Yeah, that’s what I do.”

You don’t believe his excuse at all, but you ignore his horrible lying skills and revert your focus back onto the task at hand. “Anyways, the trick to perfecting Augamenti is to make sure your arm motion is fluid. Even if you tense just a bit, the charm won’t work 100% like you want it to,” you explain, demonstrating for him again the motion. He stares in awe at the steady stream of water flowing from your wand and nods in understanding. You train your eyes on Jaemin’s form and pick up his mistake instantly.

“Uh, is something wrong?” he asks, shifting awkwardly under your gaze.

“Here, let me fix something,” you reply before moving towards him. You take his arm and position it just a bit further outwards and nudge his right leg forward a bit with your foot. Once his stance was correct, you take a step back to look over his figure again. “Tsk, you’re still too stiff. Loosen your muscles a bit, Jaemin.” He does as you instruct, but you could only grumble at how off it looks. His shoulders were slightly hunched over, and his arms were too tense. Your eyes drift meticulously over his body and your spirits dampen further when you see his locked knees. Taking matters into your own hands, you place your palms on his shoulders to slightly push them back. You then trail your hands deftly down his arms to loosen them up, trying especially hard not to notice the toned muscles that flex beneath your fingertips. Before you could even think about kneeling down to address the knee problem, Jaemin unlocks his knees. This time you notice the adorable flush dusting his cheeks.

“Well,” you awkwardly coughed, “your stance is right. Try the spell now.”

“Augamenti,” Jaemin says smoothly, producing a stream of water from his wand. “Woah!” he exclaims, “I did it!”

“Looks like my work here is done. Goodnight, Jaemin,” you state, turning around to leave.

“Wait, let me walk you back to your Common Room.”

“You want to come down to the dungeons? Even with curfew starting in 30 minutes?” you ask, quirking a brow at him.

“I can’t just let you walk back by yourself! That’d be rude of me!” he exclaims.

“I’m pretty sure I can handle walking by myself,” you say, trying to ward off the smile threatening to form on your lips.

“Still…”

It didn’t matter how many times you tell him that you were completely capable of walking to your Common Room by yourself, he still trails behind you, chattering away, and pulling laughter from your lips. You were enjoying his company so much that you didn't even notice the two of you already standing before the entrance.

“Morior invictus,” you say. The entrance opens up, revealing the long hallway leading to your Common Room. “Well,” you say, turning back towards the peach-haired boy, “Good night, Jaemin.” You want to smack yourself at how smitten you sound.

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” he says softly. You watch as he turns around and runs back the way the two of you came from. His sweet voice still lingers in your ears, making you smile even brighter the more times you replay his words in your head.

“Ugh,” you snap out of your reverie, “He’s not even that cute.” You pause for a second to collect your thoughts before breaking the silence, “Don’t lie to yourself, Y/N. He’s extremely cute. The cutest, smiliest-”

“Who’s extremely cute?” a voice speaks out from your left, causing you to jump back.

“Donghyuck! Don’t scare me like that!” you scold.

“Anyways, who’s extremely cute?” your best friend goads while wearing a shit-eating grin.

“Not you, you toad,” you jest. He sticks his tongue out at you in return, and you just huff and start walking towards the stairway leading to your room.

“Is it a certain cotton candy-haired Hufflepuff?” Donghyuck asks nonchalantly, matching his step with yours.

“It’s actually peach-colored,” you reply absentmindedly. However, you catch your mistake quickly and whirl around to face your best friend with wide eyes. “Wait, actually-”

“Aha! I knew it! You do like Na Jaemin!” he exclaims.

“Donghyuck, please, I swear keep your voice-”

“Mark owes me unlimited butterbeers for a month now! Heck yeah, high five, Y/N, couldn’t have done this without you!” He cheers and holds out his hand for you. However, you could not find it in you to share his joy.

“You can’t tell anybody. Do you understand me?”

“Why not? It’s no fun to keep secrets,” he teases. “Speaking of that, when are you gonna tell the guy?”

“What?” you look at him in horror, “Never!”

“Aw, c’mon, Y/N. He obviously likes you too!”

“You’re shitting me, right?” you deadpan, “He absolutely does not!”

“Why did he ask you to help him with Charms then?”

“Because he’s failing Charms? And I’m the best in the class? Donghyuck, if he was failing Potions, he would’ve definitely asked you.”

“But, he didn’t have to walk you all the way back to the Common Room,” Donghyuck retorts. You don’t reply. “Heh, I gotchu there, didn’t I?” he teases, earning a smack to the head from you.

“I’m going to bed,” you deadpan, “And I’m promptly ignoring you for the rest of the week.”

You rush down the corridors towards the Great Hall while pulling your Quidditch jersey over your head. “God, I can’t believe I slept past my alarm,” you grumble, already dreading the earful you were going to get from Yuta upon your arrival. You barge through the throng of first-year Hufflepuffs and rush towards the Slytherin table, snatching the piece of toast out of Donghyuck’s hand, and plopping down next to him.

“You’re 10 minutes late, Y/N,” Yuta comments.

“Well, Hyunjin isn’t here yet, so I don’t see the problem,” you retort with your mouth full of food. Donghyuck silently hands you a glass of apple juice which you accept gratefully. However, you catch him eying you warily mid-chug, so you place the glass down and send him a questioning look.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asks.

“I’m not mad, just annoyed with you,” you reply, picking up the glass to chug down the rest of your juice. Donghyuck just hums in response, but you notice the mischievous glint in his eye. “What did you do?”

“What?” he feigns innocence, “Nothing! When I have ever caused you any harm?”

“The time in our first year where you turned my morning apple juice into orange juice, the time in our second year where you chucked a Quaffle at my head while I was trying out for the team, the time in our third year where you shoved a-”

“Okay, I get it! But, you know you love me.”

You open your mouth to give him a snarky response, but instead you reply with, “Yeah, I do,” much to your own surprise. “Huh,” you muse outloud, “I guess I’m in a good mood today.” Donghyuck just nods along, and Yuta rolls his eyes at the two of you.

“Finish your food, Y/N. We have a game to win today,” Yuta states before getting up and heading towards the Quidditch pitch.

“Nervous, Y/N?” Hyunjin asks as the two of you mount your brooms.

“Yeah,” you reply, frowning at your honesty. You never show people your nervousness. You’re gnawing away at your lip when you catch Jaemin’s eyes staring at you. You shoot him a small smile, and he beams right back before mouthing the words, “Good luck!” A sudden giddy feeling bubbles away in your stomach, and you could not help as your smile widens. However, you quickly remember you’re about to compete in one of the most important Quidditch games in your life, so you revert your attention back onto Madam Hooch. The moment she threw the Quaffle into the air, you fly towards it and easily gain possession of it before volleying it to Hyunjin, who was already racing towards the goalpost. A Hufflepuff Chaser named Felix tries to intercept your throw but gets knocked back by an expertly hit Bludger.

“Hell yeah!” you cheer when Hyunjin scores the first goal of the match. He sends you a smirk and a nod towards Yuta, who was smugly swinging his bat. Your celebration is cut short when the opposing Goalkeeper chucks the Quaffle back into play; however, you weave your way through the throng of Hufflepuff Chasers, narrowly dodge a Bludger, and catch the ball with ease. Hyunjin prevents any opposing Chasers from stopping your flight, and you score yet another goal for Slytherin. A cheer echoes throughout the pitch. The game continues with both sides scoring until the scores were neck-in-neck; Slytherin was only leading by a 20 point margin. If Jaemin catches the Snitch before Ten, the Slytherin Seeker, did, your team loses the match. You grit your teeth and lean your body forwards, keeping your eyes trained on the Quaffle currently in Felix’s hand. You’re just a hair behind him before you feel something whiz past your ear. Your eyes widen when you realize the Snitch fluttering in front of you. With a quick motion of your hand, Hyunjin assists you in body-checking Felix, allowing your third Chaser to catch the Quaffle and fly back towards your goal post. Hyunjin follows suit to ensure a Slytherin goal, while you pause to look for Jaemin and Ten. Soon enough, the two boys come barrelling through the pitch towards the direction of the Snitch. You curse under your breath when you realize Jaemin has a slight speed advantage over Ten.

“What to do, Y/N?” you mutter before it dawned on you. Slow Jaemin down. You knew Bludgers couldn’t be targeted towards him, and you couldn’t physically slow him down, but a little bit of heckling never hurt anybody. You zero your focus on the peach-haired boy and fly towards him.

“Jaemin!” you call out, not even sure if your plan was going to work. He falters for a second, head perking up at the sound of your voice, allowing Ten to gain an advantage in the pursuit for the Snitch. You could practically see Jaemin kicking himself over his rookie mistake and refocusing his energy on the Snitch, but you are persistent. “You know, you wouldn’t have lost the Snitch if you just brushed your perfect hair out of your eyes,” you taunt. However, horror dawns on you at the realization of your words. What the hell did you just say?

“Wait, what did you just say?” Jaemin throws back, but his attention doesn’t waver.

“I said your hair was perfect just like the rest of you!” What the hell are you saying? You couldn’t stop your cheeks from heating up, and you had absolutely zero clue why you couldn’t stop your mouth from saying the dumbest things.

“You think I’m perfect?” he asks, slowing down just a little bit. You don’t know how to respond, but your mouth moves before your brain could stop it.

“Yes.” With those words, you mentally kick yourself and fly back towards the Chaser action happening above you, arriving just in time for Hyunjin to throw you the Quaffle. You push back the odd interaction with Jaemin to the back of your head and throw the ball through the goalpost, earning another 10 points for Slytherin.

Suddenly, Madam Hooch’s whistle rings through the stadium, and you hear the Quidditch announcer, a seventh year Ravenclaw named Doyoung, call out, “And Ten claims the Golden Snitch, earning 150 points for Slytherin! With a game of 210-50, Slytherin wins the match!” A thunderous cheer roars from the stands as your Housemates rejoice in a landslide victory, ensuring Slytherin’s spot in the House Cup finals.

“Hell yeah we won!” Yuta cheers the moment all team members touch the ground. “Who knew Ten could overtake a youngster like that?”

“We’re not that old,” Ten retorts, wrinkling his nose at the idea of being one of the oldest on the team. “And I couldn’t have done it without Y/N being a little shit towards the guy. Who knew Jaemin had such a weakness for our star Chaser?” He shoots you a shit-eating grin.

“Shut up,” you mumble, “I’m the one that has a crush on him.” You freeze at the sudden confession, and your team does too. “Oh my fucking god, why can’t I keep my mouth shut,” you groan.

“It’s like you’re always telling us the truth, Y/N,” Hyunjin mentions, “Like this morning, they told me they were nervous.  For the first time in my entire life, Y/N told me they were nervous!”

You mull over his words before the realization hit. You suddenly recall a lesson from Potions a week ago.

“Professor Slughorn, what is that?” you ask peering into the cauldron that sat upon his desk. The liquid inside is  so clear that you could easily make out the scratch marks at the bottom of the pewter cauldron.

“It’s Veritaserum, you idiot,” Donghyuck chimes in, “Supposed to be the strongest truth potion. Three drops and even You-Know-Who would spill his darkest secrets.”

“Voldemort?” you ask with a quirked brow. Nobody calls him that anymore.

“No! Yuta, of course,” your best friend replies with a wave of his hand, “I always wonder where he disappears off to after curfew.” You shrug in reply, deciding to just head over to your seat as the rest of the class filed in. As Donghyuck answers every single one of Professor Slughorn’s questions like the snivelling know-it-all he is, you focus on doodling in your notebook. Somehow you were able to draw a quite perfect peach.

“Professor, how do you brew a Veritaserum?” Donghyuck asks, pulling your attention away from your parchment.

Professor Slughorn raises an eyebrow at him. “Considering how highly regulated it is by the Ministry, it is not in my best interest to let you know until your seventh year N.E.W.T course. However, you can expect it to be extremely laborious.”

“Is there no way to learn how to brew it, professor?”

“Well, the steps are written down, but those potions books are all in the restricted section of your library. We don’t want any students accidentally conjuring up anything dangerous,” he says with a chuckle. “Why do you ask, Mr. Lee?”

“No reason, professor. Just a little curious, that’s all,” Donghyuck replies smartly, and you snort at his words.

“Oh my god,” you say in horror. He did not. He absolutely could not have. But knowing how brilliant your best friend is in Potions, he most definitely had. You pull away from your team and march towards the stands. The moment you caught sight of him you bellow, “Lee Donghyuck! Get your ass down here now before I invert your ears!” He freezes under your glare and turns to his boyfriend for some sort of backup, but Mark just shrugs and walks off, leaving Donghyuck to defend for himself.

“I cannot believe you would pull something as irresponsibly illegal as pouring Veritaserum in my apple juice! Donghyuck, you idiot! How could you ruin something as sacred and holy as my morning apple juice?” you yell at him under the stands. A strong Muffliato charm keeps any peers or professors from eavesdropping on your tirade. Donghyuck withers under your voice.

“Sorry, Y/N, I was just tired of seeing you pathetically pine over that Hufflepuff, so I took matters into my own hands,” he mumbles.

“By drugging me?” you screech.

“You weren’t being honest to yourself or him, and it is so obvious Mr. Cotton Candy Headass likes you too! So I figured why not? I’m good at brewing, so I gotta use my powers for good!”

“How can you still be so arrogant at a time like this?” you mutter.

“But am I wrong?”

“...No”

“Well then, looks like you have someone to talk to,” Donghyuck says suddenly, pushing you out from under the stands, and making you slam into the body of an incoming person. You look up and see Jaemin peering down at you.

“Y/N?” he asks, “You alright?” You immediately back off of him and send him a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, I should really look where I’m going. Anyways, good game, I gotta go!” Before you could create any real distance between the two of you, he reaches for your hand and stops you.

“We need to talk.”

“Ha, what do we need to talk about?” you ask, chuckling awkwardly.

“What you said today on the field,” he states, “Look, I don’t know if you were just messing with me to win or if you were being completely honest about what you said.”

“I was being completely honest,” you say bluntly. Well shit, looks like the Veritaserum still has some effect.

“Oh wow, really?” Jaemin asks. He ruffles his hair a bit, and you notice the flush creeping upon his cheeks.

“You know, you’re really cute.” He sputters at your comment. “Like, your hair is the same shade as a peach, and when you blush, your cheeks also turn the same shade as a peach, and it honestly makes me want to pinch your cheeks and cover you with kisses. Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that, but I also can because I’m under the influence of Veritaserum and-” Jaemin takes short strides towards you before cupping your cheeks with his hands and leaning down to capture your lips with his.

Your eyes flutter close at the contact, and you felt him smile into the kiss. When he pulled away, your eyes stay closed for just a couple moments longer before opening to drink in Jaemin’s face post-kiss, blushing cheeks, starry eyes, and all. He smiles gently at you and presses his forehead against yours, eliciting a shy smile from you. He then runs his thumb along your lower lip before whispering, “Even better than the first time.” You look at him questioningly before the meaning of his words sank in.

“You knew I was the person you kissed after barreling into me?” you ask, pulling away from him slightly.

“I could I forget? You have like, the softest lips known to wizarding kind,” he teases.

“Why didn’t you say anything beforehand,” you pout, “That would’ve saved me all the embarrassment on the pitch.”

“Well, I heard a very scary Slytherin complaining about how I stole their first kiss, and I prefer living, so I decided not to bring it up.”

“Then the Charms thing?”

“I actually was failing Charms. I guess fate wanted us to be together so much it made me bomb my last essay,” he jokes. “Plus, I started noticing you around more and figured why not get to know you better. Who knew I’d end up falling for you?” He says the last question so nonchalantly you don’t even notice it until you catch the teasing look he sends your way.

“Shut up,” you mumble shyly, “I have many likable charms.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replies before wrapping his arms around you tightly. “Now, if this Veritaserum is still working, what exactly do you like about my perfect hair?” he teasingly asks. You glare at him, but before the answer could bubble itself out of your mouth, you break from his embrace and run towards the locker rooms. Jaemin chases after you, but stops himself so he can watch on in amusement as you struggle to keep exactly what you liked about him to yourself.

“I’ll get it out of you, Y/N! Even without the Veritaserum!” he calls out.

“You probably will!” you reply, shortly followed by a, “Oh my god, Y/N, shut up!” Jaemin laughs at your adorableness before retreating back towards the stand where he spied Donghyuck lurking. Maybe their sudden “friend-in-law” status could help him procure some Veritaserum, you know, for emergency purposes; definitely not for getting the exact reason you liked him out of you, absolutely not.

[yankeeclapdoctor]

That ScreenRant article came out and I’ve decided now is as good a time as any to pour my 7-year-old Loki headcanon analysis gasoline onto the discourse fire

Seriously don’t keep reading this if you don’t want to be bombarded with pieces of what has been in my head for the past 7 years i’m not fucking messing around my friends don’t have a choice to be attacked with this shit when i start talking in person but it’s the internet so you do have a choice. but for the record: I don’t condone his attempts at genocide or other violent actions, and I know it’s bad writing, and i am also aware that it’s 2018 not 2013. But I still love him. Thank you good day

SO I went through and wrote all over the Marvel profile for Loki and here are some things I have to say that can actually be backed up by canon evidence (I have my other headcanons that are just mine that can only be expressed in angsty fanfic but this isn’t the place for that):

In Thor (2011), Loki brings the Frost Giants to infiltrate Asgard on Thor’s coronation day. He tells Laufey that it was “to ruin [his] brother’s big day,” but we also know from his argument with Sif and the Warriors Three that he didn’t believe Thor was ready to rule yet (and he was right! he didn’t go about any of what he did correctly at all but he was right that Thor wasn’t ready and if he hadn’t been right there wouldn’t have been a movie). He doesn’t ruin Thor’s coronation because he wants to be king, he ruins it both because he’s THE GOD OF MISCHIEF and because he thought he was doing what was best for Asgard (which comes from him just being an entitled little pompous bitch but we all knew that already). 

After he finds out that he’s a Frost Giant, he loses his fucking mind and becomes desperate for Odin’s approval and to be “worthy,” especially after having felt overshadowed by Thor throughout his life. Finding out that he was a Frost Giant and that Odin took him hoping to “bring about permanent peace through [him]” made him feel even more used and inferior, driving him to (understandably) lose it and try to prove himself “worthy” of being both Odin’s son and an effective person who can be powerful on his own, not just a pawn as Odin first intended for him. 

As he says to Thor, he “never wanted the throne. [He] only ever wanted to be [Thor’s] equal”—and this is true, both before he knows about his adoption and after: before, Loki felt overshadowed because Thor’s physical strength and status as the heir gave him more positive regard (fuck. look at me using my psychology terms), and afterwards he wants to be Thor’s “equal” just in being deemed “worthy” of Odin’s love and in being seen as a powerful independent person. When Thor asks him why he’s trying to commit genocide he answers, “To prove to father that I am a worthy son.” He thinks that the only way to prove to Odin that he is worthy is to prove that he should be a king, because Thor who has been deemed “worthy” by Odin (and by Mjolnir) is the heir, and therefore kings = “worthy” so Loki should become a king so he can be “worthy”!!! He’s fucked up!!! THIS IS NOT TO EXCUSE HIS ATTEMPT TO COMMIT GENOCIDE AGAINST THE FROST GIANTS. THAT WAS NOT OKAY. I am just deeply psychoanalyzing his motives because Tom Hiddleston played him with this amount of emotional depth and I will prove it by analyzing everything. 

Look at his eyes. what the Fuck. He’s so broken and hurt and out of his fucking mind. He doesn’t know what to do because he’s so angry that he’s a Frost Giant and hates that part of himself and wants to destroy it so he kills his fucking biological father and then tries to kill all the Frost Giants, rejecting them in an attempt to endear himself to Odin and the Asgardians while also believing he’ll never be accepted by them, especially Thor after he saw Thor go berserk on the Frost Giants at the beginning of the movie. and hearing Thor say anything contrary to the fucked up stuff he’s convinced himself of makes him lose it even more. 

ANyway moving on. So Thor stops the genocide from happening which is great (would have been nice if he’d succeeded in stopping it in IW too but oh well bad writing), but after Odin says “no, Loki” instead of you know maybe helping his sons up onto solid ground before trying to have a conversation, Loki lets go and falls into the abyss, definitely believing that he’s gonna die. 

The Marvel profile thing says he “arrives at the Sanctuary” and “meets the Other,” but it was definitely more like he fucking crashed there and got captured by Chitauri, brought to the Other who interrogated him about where he came from, brought him to Thanos, who then tortured him more. 

like...im sorry but this is not the face of a guy who was welcomed into Thanos’s creepy rock lair with open arms and martinis. He was fucking tortured. Not be be 2013 on main analyzing every frame to prove this again but I’m going to: he stumbles when he’s walking with Clint and Selvig to leave the big science room, and he has trouble getting into the truck thing because he’s INJURED from TORTURE see:

ass

[Not to mention all the dialogue in this scene that could be things he was told during his torture and brainwashing/manipulation that he’s repeating back as part of his mindfuckery, but I’m not gonna talk about it bc i know it’s also j*ss’s bad writing not knowing how to write Loki or anyone else and im not getting into that discourse right now. but also for my analytical purposes in my headcanon all of Loki’s dialogue in his first scene in Avengers (2012) is what Thanos told him during his torture]

ANYWAY my point is that Loki was not only influenced by the mind stone; thank you Marvel for finally acknowledging that that happened, but 

Loki was also tortured by Thanos and the Other prior to receiving the scepter

the Other threatens him with being tortured if he “fails” and “if the Tesseract is kept from us” and says “you think you know pain,” which could only refer either to him falling from the Bifrost and landing wherever the fuck he lands (whatever the fuck “The Sanctuary” is. Marvel you can’t just give things stupid cryptic names after the fact what the fuck that’s not fair), or to PREVIOUS TORTURE BY THANOS

the torture was physical as you can see from the everything about him in Avengers (2012), but also psychological as you can tell from his interactions with Thor throughout the movie. let’s take a look

ok well that’s sorta accurate to the feelings he had in Thor (2011). No evidence of brainwashing torture there. carry on.

See but that’s not right. Thor didn’t “toss” him, and while the influence of the mind stone could be warping his memory to make him think that, it would make more sense for Thanos to have used it or other torture to warp his memories to make him think that, to ensure that he would have this thought and this reasoning in his head before encountering his brother again [i know it’s really just bad writing shut up]. Thanos and the Other used Loki’s existing feelings of inferiority, thinking that ruling = worthiness, and resentment towards Thor to manipulate his memories, changing some of them with torture before giving him the scepter which then amplified those feelings and cognitive distortions (ha more psych terms) even more so he could carry out the plan to take over Earth. Playing on Loki’s existing resentment towards Thor made him willing to go after Earth, as he also pretty much says in this scene, so this all doesn’t excuse what he does. He isn’t being completely mind controlled. He’s been manipulated and tortured in a way that uses his existing negative feelings and tendency to create chaos as the GOD OF MISCHIEF to create violent action on behalf of a genocidal alien. Thor notices that when he asks this:

He recognizes Loki’s anger and resentment and twisted ambition from their last fight, but also sees from Loki’s descriptions of the tesseract’s power that his brother’s feelings have been manipulated and amplified by someone’s (and something’s) influence. His later interaction with Loki during the attack on New York when he appeals to him to stop almost works, in that moment people always screenshot to show that Loki’s eyes were blue and therefore he’s controlled by the scepter too oooooOOOOoooOOo (no guys Tom Hiddleston’s eyes are blue and Loki wasn’t controlled by the scepter in the same way as Clint and Selvig). Thor gets Loki to look at the violence around them and asks “do you think this madness will end with your rule?” and this gets through to Loki because he knows he’s not good at establishing order—he creates chaos because he’s THE GOD OF MISCHIEF. His ability to create chaos has been used by Thanos in a ploy to get the Tesseract, the idea that Loki would rule Earth used as vengeful motivation stemming from Loki’s pre-existing feelings of animosity and his earlier need to prove himself “worthy” that have been amplified by both his torture and the influence of the scepter. 

IN CONCLUSION (for now): Loki can create chaos, not control or rule it (see: Thor 2011), but his breakdown in Thor (2011) made him desperate to prove that he can rule, that he can fix problems he creates: he ruins Thor’s coronation and it goes too far, getting Thor banished and nearly starting a war with Jotunheim. He tries to fix it in an attempt to prove himself “worthy” to Odin, but can’t fix it. Thanos uses this need he has to prove himself to make him wreak havoc on Earth to get the Tesseract, but the Avengers defeat him, and Thanos not stepping in to get the Tesseract then 

shows that none of his plan was actually about Earth beyond trying to get the Tesseract and he used Loki’s resentment towards Thor to get to Earth for it

Marvel is bad at setting up long-term villains like Thanos and they should have done Secret Invasion instead because after Avengers (2012) they just fucking forget about him. because they should have introduced the other infinity stones earlier on so that him showing up made more sense. but whatever

So in actual concise response to Marvel updating the thing to say that Loki was influenced by the scepter/mind stone in Avengers (2012): yes thank you for finally fucking saying it and addressing one aspect of your inconsistent writing. We been knew. Loki was influenced by the scepter after being tortured and psychologically manipulated by Thanos and the Other between his fall from the Bifrost and the start of Avengers (2012). This does not mean he was not responsible for his destructive and murderous actions on Earth—that was fucked up—and he still very much did try to commit genocide in Thor (2011). I am not excusing that. However, he is a fictional character and I love him.

[baekwin]

Hello! I’m so sorry it’s been a while since I wrote! I kept checking your Tumblr and didn’t see the response so wasn’t sure if you got it and I was going to message but rl got in the way and I haven’t been able to properly check. And then you changed your url and I was having trouble getting to yours for some reason. But here I am! I hope you��re doing well! (1/?)

Jongdae does so well in his songs. I was really hoping for more of a rock-type song for some solo he would do but he always gets the ballads, so his emotions is shown throughout. I can’t wait for his return! I was so happy to see their enlistment picture and that Junmyeon even showed up!!! - (2/?)

unsure if there was a (3/?) but if there was, tumblr ate it, sorry 😭

They definitely choose us! Right now I am leaning towards Baekhyun (but I’m sure it’s because he’s the most active on social media and things that are being given to us) but Chanyeol with the Heart4U and everything else he’s doing, I’m like, my heart!!! Hahaha But my best friend keeps sending me Baekhyun she knows “I like” so I end up cooing over them. Like how do people choose just one bias and stay with them (when all of them have something to offer T_T) - (4/?)

He’s white haired now! I’m glad he got to play with some “real” gamers. It was cute to see him fanboy with them as they fanboy over him? He’s the cutest. Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t really follow SuperM minus Kai and Baekhyun so when they went to San Diego (I was alone) and it was a different experience than EXO since I like all of them. Then with my friend in San Jose it was a lot more fun since she would likes more of them than me. How long was your hiatus? - (5/?)

I’ve tried to stay away but EXO brings me back each time. Like with all the enlistment, you would think it would be easy, but with Minseok and Kyungsoo coming back, I’m like, oh, hello… hahaI definitely want to travel to Japan and Korea when the pandemic is over! I’ve been to two EXO concerts in Japan and I love the experience. It’s so much better than the States… like yes, taking videos/pictures isn’t allowed but they interact a lot more (in my opinion) and I can see a lot of things more (6/?)

I do want to experience a concert in Korea too but at the same time, I get a bit scared about it because seems more extreme. Besides Japan and Korea, where would you want to go? What’s your favorite season? Or maybe even color? I’m trying to figure out what to do still and random questions might help haha or better, what era do you like the best with Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and/or both? Haha (Oh I asked before I reread your answer where you mentioned exactly the era and color haha!) (7/8)

How’s your week been going? I had to travel for work — I’m working in another state to be with family during this time but work doesn’t really know so I had to come down to make an appearance haha so I’ve been in a hotel for the week but it’s nice, just pricey hahaI hope all is well and I’ll be back sooner this time! (I hope I didn't forget to click ask anonymously because this was so many *oops*) - 8/8 ss anon 🤶🏻

hi ss anon!! omg i’m so sorry that the url change confused you akjsdhfjh it was just winwin’s birthday a couple days ago and i got caught up in simping for him 😔 but i’m glad you found me again! i’m putting these under read mores and also tagging them with "ss anon 🤶🏻” if you want to find them easily! and i totally understand rl getting in the way, hope everything is going okay for you and no pressure to respond to me immediately ❤️ although you are very sweet and fun to talk to and i look forward to these hehe 

yeah it would be cool to get some more rock and other genres but i guess he really is the ballad king so it makes sense. I just hope that he enjoys singing them as well! and yes omg it was so nice to see junmyeon there, he is so caring to take a day to come see jd off. 

ofc i completely approve of leaning toward chanbaek because what kind of chanbaek stan would i be if i didn’t?? i haven’t watched heart4u yet because like you, real life is getting in the way right now, but hopefully i can this weekend! and yeah they’re all wreckers otherwise! i was briefly being wrecked very hard by sekai and tbh as soon as kolo starts i’m sure jongin will worm his way back there, rip

he does!! i actually like the white hair with the greyish purplish tint it has right now, i wonder if he’ll go even lighter or if this is it! for the sake of his scalp i hope this is it kjdfjhd i didn’t watch the gaming broadcast myself but i’ve been seeing the gifs of it and yeah omg it was so cute that he got to play with them and how he got flustered when they were fanboying ahhh he’s so baby sometimes i love him!!!!

i think superm was partially my gateway drug into wayv/nct lmao like obviously i loved exo and shinee already, but after getting back, nct was completely new to me! but now bc of superm i love ten v much 😭ooof my hiatus was soooo long, the kind you don’t usually come back from LMAO i think about 6 years give or take? i was here from about 2010-2014 and then when i went to college, real life took over and i disappeared. but here i am again because apparently even when you leave, you can’t leave 🤡 

omg the way i would die to see exo live....i saw exo-m at kcon, like the very first kcon, but i would love to go to just an exo concert. that’s cool that you’ve been to a couple and kind of surprising that it’s so different than concerts in the states, i don’t think i ever realized that! 

hmm besides japan/korea I definitely want to to new zealand again at some point, it’s so beautiful there! and i’ve never been to spain, that’s been on my list for many years too. where are your favorite places you’ve been/places on your wishlist? my favorite season is summer!! spring is a close second, i love my sunlight 🥰 my favorite colors are honestlyyyy kind of boring, i love navy blue and grey and black lmao I’M SORRY but i do appreciate bright colors a lot, i just don’t think I have the right eye to make them look good! so i just avoid them lmao. not to reveal my Age or anything but I think my favorite baekhyun era would have to be mama :( it’s so nostalgic for me because that’s when i first fell for him so hard. as soon as what is love came out, i was a goner. in more recent eras i think un village though (do solos count?) and for pcy, i think my fave era is obsession actually! i am fully floored by that rap every time i hear the song, he’s unreal. also the pink hair was very cute. 

my week has been alright! nothing much interesting going on besides job hunting - currently unemployed and trying to change that but job hunting is v demoralizing, so i’m here a lot for some laughs and smiles and music from my bois to keep me sane. oh man i hope work isn’t being too hard on you or anything, hopefully making an appearance in person will help. i used to be so scared of staying in hotels alone until i had to do it for a few work trips, and now i honestly find it kind of nice! hopefully you’re able to travel back to your family safely ❤️ 

[outofthewoods]

REPUTATION - ALBUM REVIEW

alright girlies here it is my first impressions (whatever I wrote down after the SS plus a few notes I made when it dropped) I AM LITERALLY....QUITE LITERALLY SHAKING....MY WIG: IS ON MARS 

READY FOR IT: At first I was kind of like…. :/ about this song but it’s actually a really good opener and a banger. Not sure I would’ve picked it as the second single but it goes all the way off. The bass has me shook Line: “he can be jailor burton to this taylor”

END GAME Very…..the weeknd vibes right ladies ?????????? this is like…..taylor’s Instagram baddie moment It is still SO WEIRD To me to hear rapping and Taylor swift in one song. Even tho we have the bad blood remix Im still….shook by Future and Taylor together ??????????? I really like this, it’s not one of my top 5 I don’t think but it’s so different from what I would've thought of for another ed/taylor collab Ed is giving me some don’t vibes..i’m into it…ed talking about the fourth of July is really iconic. Taylor telling the story of how this came about was really iconic too…I can literally picture her and ed getting drunk and being like HOWWWW COOL WOULD IT BE TO COLLAB WITH FUTURE????? LOL and then it actually happening I love her like. talk/shout/singing when she says “big reputation…” Line: “I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me” Her runs in the last chorus THANK GOD…..I NEEDED THESE VOCALS…..

I DID SOMETHING BAD THIS SONG HAD ME FUCKING QUAKING IN THE SESSION…… “If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing” THE CHORUS BANGS…..IM LITERALLY……MOUTH OPEN SHOCKED I CANT BELIEVE THIS….THE M.I.A. PAPER PLANES MACHINE GUN SOUNDS…. This is so……blank space but……..fucking darker you SINNERS “If he drops my name I owe him nothing, if he spends my change then he had it coming…” The chorus is here again Im bopping so fucking HARD WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW I’M……….CRYING AT THE VOCALIZATIONS OF THE HOOK. I’m pretty sure she said this came to her the same way she came up with “STAY!” in AYHTDWS The bridge ladies LIGHT ME UP!!! GO AHEAD AND LIGHT ME UP YOU FUCKING HEATHENS!!!! THIS SONG MAKES THE WHOLE ALBUM WORTHY OF A GRAMMY Im literally shaking like my skin is quivering….that 2000’s fade out……Please kill me

DON’T BLAME ME This is the hozier…take me to church….taylor swift version The chords are her vocals and that. Is revolutionary, Einstein found dead in Miami Line: “I would fall from grace just to touch your face, if you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay” The like…..wopping of the chorus is really just…..gold Her falsetto at the end of the second verse. Wig on mars This is the stoner Taylor swift song we didn't know we needed but are so thankful we have VOCALS IN THE LAST CHORUS….I NEEDED SOME RUNS AND THE PRERELEASES DIDNT GIVE THEM TO ME BECAUSE SHE WAS SAVING HER DESTRUCTION OF EVERY OTHER PERSONS VOCALS FOR THE ALBUM

DELICATE This is very Imogen heap to me…… like the layered robotic vocals. It’s very interesting…..a really good segue from DBM It’s got like a deep house….tropical feel to it that I am really enjoying girlies “my reputation’s never been worse, so he must like me for me” why does that line have me crying Taylor swift you are literally sunshine THIS IS THE CHORUS I REMEMBERED….the is it cool is it chill etc…….that’s what I thought CIWYW was after the SS for some reason ???? “do the girls back home touch you do like I do?” SECOND VERSE LYRICS Got me feeling some wildest dreams type of way she looked at me so much during this song I’m emotional, I was bopping to the chorus and she was laughing at me and winking when the beat comes in during the chorus Not a standout from the album but very cool very different good vibes man

LWYMMD Obviously a bop. I see why it’s in the middle of the album and when Taylor explained the progression of the songs this really makes a lot of sense. I’m just feeling fragile bc Taylor swift grabbed me by my cheeks, pulled me towards her, grabbed my hands, and danced with me during this song. Wow BABY I GOT MINE BUT YOU’LL ALL GET YOURS!!! We literally screamed this in each other’s faces it was so……amazing I will NEVER FORGET The video…..do we even need to remind ourselves of how fucking iconic it was When I first heard this I was so confused I had just woken up in Ireland at 6am to listen and I was like . What is this But the chorus goes all the way off tbh This is like a parallel to shake it off….the themes and messages of……being yourself and rising above what other ppl think of you…..

SO IT GOES… Ok I literally blanked this song from my memory at the session, I think bc it was right after LWYMMD and me and Taylor having our first proper moment of the night “Back against the wall….tripping when you’re gone…” This album is so bass heavy. I’m loving the studio instruments, I thought I would miss the live guitars etc but I really don’t because it doesn’t fit with the album “I’m so chill but you make me jealous” Sis we have learned from 10 years of music from you that you aren't chill al;ksdfnjksdhifbknsdfdkjf I love you mom I love the way she says so it goes! In the chorus “You know I’m not a bad girl….but I do bad things with you…” WHOMST “SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW…. Taylor you've done several numbers on me I stopped counting 8 years ago the whispered 1..2….3……WOW VOCALS….AGAIN……….SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES REALLY WILDIN OUT HUH

GORGEOUS This is such a cute song. For me it seems like one of the ones I like less, but at the session I remember being so happy listening to it because she pointed me out and called me by name when she was passing out the new merchandise….so I was chillin Also she kept winking at me during the DINGS!

GETAWAY CAR Queen of whisper singing I wanted to leave him….I needed a reason SUDDENLY I WILL ONLY EVER DRINK OLD FASHIONEDS. IVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER DRINK Okay in my mind I was like this song is :/ but it bangs to be honest! I love the chorus Should've known Id be the first to leave….this song is full of tea ladies This song to me seems like it’s about a rebound relationship that wasn’t so serious/was just a way to release pent up emotions from something awful “X marks the spot….where we fell apart…..” the pre chorus is really out here doing that sweeties The bridge has an interesting modulation that i don't know how to feel about….this whole album is like full of surprises/polarizing musical techniques so this is cool This is Taylor Swift fleshing out a metaphor/concept masterpiece to her full ability. Queen of literature who is Shakespeare I’ve never heard of him Said goodbye….in a getaway car……. The ends of the songs are so interesting on rep…….this one goes off

KING OF MY HEART “I’m better off being alone…” Miss Taylor I’m so glad that you’ve stopped thinking this because you are really….the most WORTHY person of love in the whole wide world… This is probably my least favorite song on the album. It has some remnants of getaway car in it I feel……she’s cute but getaway car is sexy and sexy destroys cute It’s a little repetitive but I appreciate it’s placement on the album………..you move to me like a Motown beat…..alright Miss king of my heart redeeming herself My broken bones are mending……….taylor I love u………why are u drinking beer when u could be having an old fashioned tho…..beer is gross

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED Thank you piano I love a live instrument The story behind this song is so heartbreaking and knowing that makes….the song so much more impactful to me “You had turned my bed into a secret oasis, people started talking putting us through our paces” here’s a big fat FUCK YOU to the daily mail Again the chorus comes in and is so….huge and sprawling compared to the rest of the song…..shaking us to our very cores! I love that you can hear the frantic/anxiety she was feeling throughout the song….like the rushed vocals and drawn out lower notes…..then the chorus just coming in with GLORY I LOVE the instrumental of the chorus so much…..it’s so beautiful and a little 1989 to me. Like very eighties synth heavy We also have some VOCALS! In the bridge and last chorus! the runs are giving me life

DRESS This song is like a …… I’m kind of drunk in the meatpacking district running from bar to bar with someone I love in the cold with big coats on….tea to me The falsetto. Queen Taylor has really been expanding her vocal register and I’m FUCKING here for it “Everybody thinks they know us” circling back to the overall theme of the album. We know what she chooses to let us know and beyond that we’re just fucking guessing sinners This song is like a …… I don't really care what they think of us I just wanna really…………see your dick and I don't care what anyone thinks of that ! THE HAIR BLEACHED LINE……SHE IS LITERALLY THE QUEEN OF SELF DRAGS I CANT SHES SO SELF AWARE ITS UNBELIEVABLE…….she’s like being humorous but also referencing a time in her life that was really shitty for her so. Queen of duplicity “I woke up just in time…” this line says so much about where she was when she started seeing Joe

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS Oh girlies…..I have been so excited to hear this again since the session. She spilled some major fucking SCALDING tea before playing this so my ass was fully ready to be sloughed The alarms in the beginning…..a champagne sea…..my dream…… This is so fucking tongue in cheek about what everyone said about her #squad “I have to take them away” DEAD this is why she stopped having 4th of July parties klsadjidfnksdfd “Stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand….” Oh no…………WHO WOULD DO THIS TO MISS TAYLOR!!!!!!! “I took an axe to a mended fence….” The mhhhhhmmmmmm………. IF ONLY YOU WERENT SO SHADY SALKJFSDNKFJGM,DFLKNJGIDK WHY IS THIS SONG ABOUT ME SITTING ON TWITTER DRAGGING PEOPLE LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER Hard knock life………..TEA……during the fucking BANGER of a chorus….this is going to be so fun on tour…..SHE BETTER BE A SINGLE!!!!! hE sAiD shE saID!!!!! Here’s to mama…….yes miss Andrea here’s to u queen of the world THE BRIDGE…..SDFLSDMFJKNDNDSLJFKNFDJDSFNSD THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE!!!!! NICE!!!!! THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant even SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE Heres to my REAL FRIENDS! WOW….just wow ladies this is the future liberals want

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT In my personal onion this is the most vulnerable song on the album. The first verse really has me out here crying in the club The chorus is so cute, this is a low-key banger and I wanna see her flying across the crowd during this song on tour

NEW YEARS DAY So here it is girlies….the most hyped song on the record…… Live piano. Minimal production. The concept behind this is so adorable “Candlewax and polaroids on the hard wood floor….” the most Taylor swift thing I have ever heard This relationship really seems like its forever my dudes she’s in it for the long run. She has never been so confident in a relationship that she’s CURRENTLY IN. She’s opening up DURING a relationship which is like……basically unheard of for her I love how subtle this is….the harmonies on the second chorus….crying in the club again “Hold on to the memories they will hold onto you…..” she said she's had that line ready to go for a while but couldn't find a place for it and here it is being adorable and wonderful also the line “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I can recognize anywhere” Can I just speak on that line again….it is so beautiful and simple and shows how much she’s been through and the pain she has dealt with….and the sadness she KNOWS………..but she’s okay enough to talk about it. Im crying in the club 3.0

INITIAL RANKING: I Did Something Bad Don’t Blame Me Call It What You Want Dress Delicate Dancing With Our Hands Tied This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Look What You Made Me Do Getaway Car …Ready For It? End Game New Year’s Day Gorgeous So It Goes King of my Heart

[dany36]

SIGH so i’m done playing breath of the wild. i beat it about two weeks ago but i just now completed all shrines and sidequests. i thought about hating myself even more by trying to collect all 900 korok seeds but it’s not worth it just to have that 100% in the map screen (plus korok seeds stopped being useful a long time ago). i have 100%d all zelda games i own (except OoX) but i just can’t be bothered for this one.

having replayed all zelda games at least twice, i can’t say i will be doing the same for botw. here are my [long] thoughts about it (spoiler-free):

i can’t say i loved it. i think i was just playing just for the sake of playing it because....duh, it’s a zelda game (plus i sort of spent a crapload of money on the game+console). as a long-time zelda fan, it just...didn’t feel like a zelda game to me. i’m not opposed to change, in fact i was extremely excited to finally play this game, but the overall product just didn’t satisfy me at all. it just felt like a very dull and unfulfilling experience.  

- the overworld. i kept saying it over and over in my head while playing this game: it’s just too damn fucking huge for its own good. and it’s boring as hell to traverse. there aren’t really that many interesting things to do other than look for shrines. oh cool you can climb that mountain way over there? for what? oh haha a korok seed. most of the time, nothing. good job. it just felt tiring and bothersome to explore huge empty spaces of nothing. horses aren’t very useful since most of the time i was warping to try to not bore myself from wandering around empty spaces. i replayed the original loz at least like 5 or 6 times and i absolutely adored exploring every corner of the overworld. botw’s? yawn snore zzzz.

- weapon durability. i mentioned it in an earlier post but i hope this is something that never comes back to a zelda game. it’s especially shitty when you beat a shrine and your reward is a weapon. oh, a weapon that will break after 20 hits or less. so your reward disappears instead of it being something useful that you can actually keep for the rest of the game. this might just be a personal preference but i just hated the weapon system, especially when you find out that the master sword and the hylian shield can actually also break instead of being able to use them infinite number of times (and don’t tell me “oh it’s because otherwise you would never have used any other weapon!” bc idgaf, frost weapons and spears are cool and i would have used them either way)

- the story. oh my god. i know this is supposed to be a throwback to the original zelda, where you can go straight and kill ganon, but my goodness....it’s 2017. how is it that we got such a barebones story?? when i finally got to zora’s domain i was excited. i was finally getting to the story. boy i was wrong. the game gave me zero reason to care about saving the world and its inhabitants (except the gorons, which i think were the greatest in this game). i fucking hate that the story is mostly told through memories. the worst part is, the story told through the memories is more exciting than the one you play through the game. i hate that we are told from the start “you have to save hyrule and the princess because um....you’re a hero, you just don’t remember haha! so GO!!!!” instead of showing me actual, emotional reasons to want to save these people. through the memories we just become spectators, instead of the story actually making us bond and feel something for the people we are saving (except, again, yunobo, who i will save 1000 times if i have to). not even princess zelda’s incredible character growth (which, once again, HAPPENS IN THE MEMORIES and NOT in the present) can save the story from being lackluster. i would talk more about this but then it’d take up the whole post.

- the music. i’ve also complained about it before, but it’s a fucking joke, especially since it’s a zelda game, which are mostly known from having really good soundtracks. for me, there are zero memorable soundtracks. i think i only liked two, the one where you are near a Tower and when you are near a shrine. even minecraft, a freaking indie game, had better ambient music than botw. exploring the overworld becomes 3600% more BORING because as you’re walking, all you hear is link’s footsteps and clanky armor. so the overworld becomes twice as empty because 90% of the time, there is no music. except the five random ass piano keys you hear from time to time. it’s just bad and it makes me sad. people seemed to have hated SS’s OST, but at least it gave us Fi’s Theme and the magnificence that is the Lanayru Sand Sea theme. now THAT’S music that truly takes you into the game and gives it the proper ambiance that the overworld tries to portray. botw? a sad, sad attempt. i’m honestly wondering what they will play during botw’s section at the symphony of the goddess’s tour.

- the sidequests. 90% of the sidequests are boring fetch quests and “kill this type of enemy plz”. it’s just boring and tedious and the rewards are a joke (mostly, rupees, materials which you can easily find ANYWHERE, or food). it’s time for zelda to step up in the sidequests department and give me good, engaging, emotional-investing sidequests that tell me more about a certain character, or which tell me more about the world, or overall just make me CARE about its inhabitans that i’m trying to save. MM is the king of sidequests and botw once again pales in comparison.

- the dungeons. the first one (Vah Ruta) was cool. then it got boring and repetitive, really fast. all the dungeons look identical. the dungeons are for the most part short. there are no enemies inside the dungeons except these flying skeletons that die with one hit. oh yeah and maybe a robot here and there. so there’s some enemies but nothing tough. the premise revolves around manipulating the dungeon by rotating it to discover new areas. so it’s like playing four Stone Towers from MM. Except i guess the Gerudo dungeon, which added an element of electricity (that was cool). but other than that, all of the dungeons are pretty much the same and after you’ve played one, you’ve pretty much played them all, which is sad because it takes away the element of surprise and “oh man i wonder what the theme of the next dungeon will be?”

- the enemies. the lack of variety is a joke. there’s like 4 or 5 types of bokoblins, which just differ in their color and strength. oh and that’s the same for octoroks, moblins, lizalfos, chuchus, lynels, and wizzrobes (which are a fucking joke in this game. remember when wizzrobes were actually tough in the original game?). oh crap, i’ve actually mentioned 90% of the enemies you will face in the game... i think in total there might be 10 or 11, which is PATHETIC when you consider how fucking huge the overworld is. sad sad sad.

- stamina is stupid and so is climbing. stamina was tolerable in SS because of those silent realms you had to beat: you had to be careful of running and climbing and wearing out your stamina because of those crazy-ass guardians. so it made sense because it adds a challenge to the silent realms. in botw, for a game that focuses so much on exploring and climbing, stamina becomes a hindrance that actually makes it annoying to explore the world. you better not run out of stamina while trying to climb that mountain over there lest you run out and have to start all over!!! joy.

- the graphics. can nintendo please try something else with zelda graphics now. don’t get me wrong, i loved TWW and SS, but....these cel-shading graphics (or whatever they’re called) are getting tiresome. i didn’t like how most of the time the game looks bloom-y and blurry af (it’s especially bad when it’s raining or snowing). people complained about TP’s bloom effects but i feel like botw’s light effect (or whatever the hell that causes it to look like someone just put 200% of brightness on an image using photoshop) really takes away from trying to enjoy the scenery and view that the game tries to offer. for the next game can we try something like hyrule warriors or tp or hell even mm 3d? thx.

- the rain. it. rains. so. fucking. much.

haha oh man i never realized how many things i didn’t like about this game. i think i’ll stop here and talk about the things i did like:

- the shrines. although i didn’t like how all of them had the exact same design, the puzzles in them were cool and very zelda-ish.

- the warping system. thank god there are so many warp points to traverse the overworld because otherwise i would have never finished this game.

- the clothes system. i really liked all of the costume options the game gives you, and the fact that you can change the color of the clothes. it takes me back to the OoT days except with more variety. very nice.

- the runes. i loved not having to worry about running out of bombs and the ice rune was very cool and useful: it’s like having infinite ice arrows from MM to make platforms on the water! also the puzzles that involved stopping time with the statis rune were awesome. oh and grabbing treasure from underwater with magnesis never gets old.

- yunobo. yunobo is pure and great and needs to be protected at all costs.

- lynels. for once, a deadly enemy you actually have to be careful with and prepare yourself with good strategy to beat. i remember when i saw my first lynel i was so scared to approach it. they gave lynels such a great treatment and it’s the same one that wizzrobes should have gotten.

- the variety of the weapons.

- revali’s gale. saved me from having to climb so many mountains with its gust that elevates you so high. also after 3 it re-generates in 5 minutes. a blessing.

- the towns. i loved how lively they look. it’s like clock town from mm and it’s great.

- princess zelda. great character development and she has become my second favorite zelda (behind ST Zelda which will always be the best [while oot zelda continues to be the worst])

summary: while i enjoyed some aspects of the game, overall it just was very tiresome and unfulfilling. for a game that boasted about being open world, the world itself was just so barren of interesting things to do and explore. exploring the world of Xenoblade Chronicles, a fucking Wii game, was way more exciting because the environment, story, and music had more to offer. if there’s one thing i can thank botw for, is that it re-awoke my love for zelda games such as TWW, TP, and SS, which i will probably re-play next. i’m all for evolving the zelda series, and i thank botw for trying, but i honestly hope this game will not be the new zelda formula to follow. PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[brittney-brutal]

Hi guys!

So recently I’ve gained more followers and I just want you to know that I appreciate each and every single one of you for coming with me on this crazy adventure.

I’ve had this blog for.... 9 years this August? I never thought it would have the impact that it does, and I never imagined anyone would care enough to follow.

So for all my followers, new and old, anonymous and known, here’s some of those famous “tumblr questions” so you guys can get to know me more. I also haven’t done any of these in YEARS so I’m actually excited to see the answers and compare them to my old ones.

My ask box is always open ❤️

1. What is your name and what does it mean?

- my name is Brittney and it simply means that my parents chose that name for me instead of Samantha or Jordyn like they wanted to.

2. How long have you known your best friend?

- well I have three, and I’ve known one since 2009, and I met the other two in 2017.

3. What position do you sleep in?

- uh, on my side/stomach with my one leg bent and the other under the pillow? You know, the “girl” position?

4. Were you in a clique in high school?

- LMAO yo I was the girl that wore pink/zebra Osiris skate hi-tops with black/white TIE DYE jeans. And band tees. I had a bracelet that I made from zebra DUCT TAPE. I was also in the top 10% of my graduating class, coming in at #77 with a 4.257 GPA. I was NERDY AND WEIRD. But I had friends from every clique.

5. Favorite high school teacher and why?

- I mean it’s been... 7 years since I graduated but I think it’s still Mrs. Nash. She was my astronomy teacher in 11th grade and then I also was her teaching assistant in 12th grade. She was so beautiful and sweet and the best mom to her kids.

6. Name a few places you’d want to travel to if money wasn’t the issue?

- Bora Bora, Germany, Australia, The Grand Canyon.

7. Did you or do you play any sports?

- I used to dance jazz and hip hop, I used to play soccer, I could do a mean jump rope routine in grade school. Was even part of a team lmao. Recently I’ve really wanted to learn how to skate again.

8. Things you find attractive?

- in general? Being able to hold a conversation and actually put forth enough effort. Street smarts. Knowing how to cook and take care of yourself. Knowing and setting and keeping boundaries. Nice eyes. Good sense of humor, the protective possessive type. Always considering my thoughts and feelings, even when I don’t seem to have any.

8. Where did you grow up?

- Sunny, humid, hot, sticky, rainy Florida. Born and raised unfortunately.

9. Do you have any embarrassing stories?

-FUCK THIS QUESTION. Yes. One time in 8th grade I had a crush on this guy named Erik. We were great friends and he was littleraly the biggest prankster around. So one day in science class we’re all taking a test and our teacher suddenly looks up and asks “do you hear that” and we start looking around and everyone starts to hear it and Erik asks me “what is that, is that you?” And to my ABSOLUTE FUCKING HORROR, my iPod started playing Sexy Can I by fucking Ray J DURING THE TEST. thankfully Erik took the blame so my life wasn’t completely ruined after that. I also got catfished by someone when I was....14-16. Eventually she came clean and we’ve spoken before here on tumblr. No hard feelings.

10. When is your birthday?

- January 28, 1996. I’m the ripe old age of 24 with arthritic bones and an ankle that cracks every few steps I take. I’m knocking on heavens door rn.

11. How many pillows do you sleep with?

- why is anyone asking this question lmao but I sleep with 9. I have a queen bed.

12. Name 5 things about your appearance

- I mean I have a whole page dedicated to my selfies so check that out I guess.

13. Favorite drink?

Alcoholic? Rum runners or bahama mama’s. Non alcoholic would probably be.... cherry coke or Mountain Dew code red.

14. Strange talent you have?

- I guess you could call it a talent in some aspects, but I have mockingbird syndrome where I can imitate just about anyone’s singing voice.

15. How did one of your friendships end?

- I found out I had feelings for her in high school and she was my best friend. I was in love with her like bro I was fucked up over this girl. I mean, let me clarify. At the time she was in the process of figuring out her identity and she was identifying as a male, and was really confident in that role. Her appearance changed drastically but her person never did, and I loved every bit of whoever they decided to be. Through three different name changes and back and forth pronoun changes. I loved this person. My first real hard love. We would walk around holding hands and if anyone knows me, I hate physical touch unless I’m dating you bc my trauma is fucking up my head, but I let them do that. Long story short we stopped talking, I moved away, I reached out years later and we started hanging out again. She changed. I say she because they had decided that they were in fact female, and that didn’t bother me, but something just felt extremely off. I went home one night and she texted me hoping to see me again and that scared me. It scared me and confused me bc my feelings were coming back after so long and I didn’t know what to do. So I didn’t do anything. Stopped answering the calls and the texts and the crying voicemails. I felt like shit for what I did and reached out again just recently a few months ago. Hoping to at the very least clear the air. I anon’ed her on here and she knew it was me, bc who else can’t let things go. So she basically said stop reaching out to me I hate you I don’t want you to talk to me ever again. So, I haven’t. And I miss her. But I deserve it.

16. Are you still figuring out who you are?

- Every single day. I am constantly changing and it’s so interesting that I’m not the person I was ten years ago. I’m not who I was three years ago. I’m not who I was when anything bad in my life happened, but yet I still hold onto it. I know my sexuality I’ve come to terms with it and I embrace it but I don’t make it obvious. I love who I am as a person and my core values and what is important to me at the end of the day.

17. Favorite restaurant?

- Cheesecake Factory.

18. Favorite pizza?

- fun fact I hated pizza before I got pregnant with my son, and now I LOVE it. I’ll crave pizza even still. I love pepperoni, green pepper, mushroom, pineapple, and crushed red pepper with a stuffed cheese crust. Ooh with the garlic sauce from papa johns.

19. Do you collect anything?

- knives. I used to collect snow globes when I was younger but my innocence has died and now I’m emo as fuck.

20. Biggest lesson you’ve learned the hard way?

- Your pride will get in the way every single time.

21. Your favorite band?

- A Day to Remember

22. What are your top three favorite albums?

- Voicenotes by Charlie Puth, I listened to this album on repeat my entire pregnancy. It means a lot to me.

- Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight by Travis Scott, I know every single word to every single song. It got me through one of the worst breakups from the most toxic relationship I’ve had back in 2016.

- What Separates Me From You by A Day to Remember, the cover art is what I’m basing my next tattoo off of.

23. What’s your dream car?

- Chevrolet Camaro SS. Hyper Metallic Blue with black carbon fiber accents. All black interior.

24. What’s your sign and do you believe in astrology?

- I’m an Aquarius, my moon is Taurus and my ascendant sign is Gemini. I read my horoscope often but I don’t base my every move off of what it says y’know?

25. Where do you go or what do you do when you’re sad?

- I like to drive. I drive at night and I play my music and I allow myself to feel whatever I want. Driving clears my head and it lets me think about things I usually push away. If I’m feeling really bad I’ll drive to the beach and sit by the water and just watch the sunset by myself and watch people live their lives and think about when I was happy.

That turned out much longer than I wanted it to be but there’s 25 things about me that you now know.