#I don’t regret wanting to be open and seen with someone. I don’t regret wearing my heart on my sleeve

[lace-chocolate]

🤍

[flemingsfreckles]

Officially Off-Season

Jessie Fleming x Chelsea!Reader

Preview: The team goes out to celebrate winning the Super League and the beginning of the off season, you decide it’s time to follow up on a comment Jessie made earlier in the season.

Warnings: alludes to smut, suggestive, some cursing and drinking

WC: 4.3k

You hated this environment, the loud music and smell of sweat and how your shoes would stick to the floor, but this is the result of Chelsea winning the league. The girls went out and there was no getting out of this one. Normally after a big win you’d join in the celebrations then make an excuse, an early physio appointment the next morning, not wanting to drink due to being in the middle of the season, a headache, you had used every excuse in the book. Your teammates knew most of the time that your excuses were full of shit but they'd let you leave anyway.

You had only been at the bar for 20 minutes and were ready to bid everyone a goodnight. The first 10 minutes were spent running around trying to show face to your fellow teammates in hopes it would maybe get you out of here sooner. The next 10 had been spent in line at the bar. You ordered yourself a beer when Guro came up behind you grabbing the back of your neck with one hand, jostling you and shouting your name as if she hadn't seen you at the stadium shortly before.

“We’ll take two shots!” She hollered at the bartender. She waved a finger between you indicating one was for her the other was for you.

“Guro no!” Quick to protest, you had planned to stick to beer for the night, never being a huge fan of liquor and not wanting to wake up with regrets in the morning.

“Come on, we won the league, it's officially the off season. Just the one to make up for all the times you bailed on us during the season.” She looked at you, giving her best puppy dog eyes.

The bartender returned, placing the beer you had ordered down followed by the clinking of the two shot glasses and he held out two lime slices to you and Guro. “They're tequila, I hope that’s okay, that's what your teammates seemed to be ordering.”

“Perfect, thanks!” Guro grinned at the man, grabbing both of the lime slices, handing one to you before she picked up both shots forcing it into your open hand.

“I hate you.” You half heartedly told her. In reality, she was one of your best friends on the team and you loved her but she drove you crazy at the same time.

“Here’s to you, maybe you’ll finally get a certain someone to take you home.” She winked at the end of her sentence before clinking her glass to yours and bringing the shot to her mouth, taking it and following it up with the lime.

“I don’t know what youre talking about.” You did, you knew exactly who she meant. “Plus that certain someone has a roommate, I’m not doing that with her home.” You threw back your shot, cringing at the burn and as you put the lime in your mouth you were once again aggressively grabbed by the back of the neck, this time Niamh shouting your last name at you.

“Are we finally getting you to go all out? Taking shots and all?” You turn and in front of you now stands Niamh, her girlfriend, and they're both followed by, ironically, Jessie. You felt Guro’s stare on you as she realized that had they shown up a few seconds earlier, Niamh and Jessie would have overheard the conversation you were having.

Niamh and Jessie’s apartment not being far from the bar you had agreed to, they had run home to change. What caught your eye was Jessie’s outfit. She was dressed in all black, a pair of nice slacks and a button up shirt up top. Her hair was neatly pulled back. She was easily one of the best dressed people here, you and the rest of your teammates in some variation of sweatpants and sweatshirts. You had opted to put on the clothes that you wore into Stamford Bridge that morning. You stood wearing a pair of light wash jeans with a simple blue shirt. You suddenly felt underdressed despite standing next to Guro who was wearing her travel sweats and a t-shirt.

“Just the one.” You say sternly.

“Boo! I just got here and didn’t get to do one with you.” Niamh protests. She turns, pointing to her girlfriend and Jessie, “They want to do one with you too, right Jess?” You look over Niamh’s shoulder to look at Jessie. She’s looking around the bar completing a whole circle of the room before her eyes meet yours back in front of her as she hears Niamh mention her name. You give her a smile and she returns it.

“Uh, yeah sure.” By the look of confusion on her face you can tell she was just agreeing with Niamh, not really sure what she had just agreed to.

“We’ll take 5 more.” Guro is quick to holler at the bartender. You see Jessie’s eyes widen and her lips make an O as she realizes what she had said yes to. She mouths “sorry” and gives you an apologetic look.

The glass and lime are once again shoved into your hands along with the rest of the group. Niamh puts her shot in the middle of the 5 of you. “Here’s to winning the league and to finally getting these two,” she tips her head in your direction followed quickly in Jessie’s direction, “to finally join in on our hijinx.”

The second shot goes down smoother than the first, you finish off your lime and turn to the bar grabbing the beer that was supposed to be your first drink, not your third.

“Let's go dance.” Guro grabs your hand pulling you away from the person you actually wanted to talk to. You entertained Guro for a couple songs, dancing with her, letting the warmth from the two shots ease your nerves you normally would be feeling about dancing in public.

“Are you going to talk to her?” You hear Guro shout over the music into your ear. Guro was pressed up against your back dancing with you. To an outside eye it would’ve looked like you and Guro were together, the reality was you both just didn’t care, just having a good time dancing with the music. You turned around so you were face to face.

Leaning in, you shouted into her ear “I was going to, but youre the one who dragged me over here to dance with you instead.”

“Okay you're free to go,” She threw her arms back in an over dramatic fashion. “But I expect you to not fuck this up.” Her hand comes down giving you a pat and a shove on the back in the direction of a table in the corner. “You know she wants this too, don't forget that.”

It was a gentle reminder to you that Guro knew a secret of yours that no one else on the team, let alone anyone else in the world, knew.

It was many months ago, early in the season and you had stayed late getting in some extra practice and some recovery done. Jessie had joined you, you both were close, both secretly infatuated with each other, too shy to make a move. Instead you opted for subtle flirting with each other, gaining both of you nothing besides an increased tension between you. The flirting was so subtle that not even your teammates had picked up on it, the only reason Guro had figured out what was happening between the two of you was she had witnessed it with her own eyes.

Guro had also stayed late, up in the film room watching over some plays with the coaching staff. When she was done she ran down to the changing room to grab her bag and head home. Assuming everyone else was long gone, she had not expected anyone to be in the room so she was startled when she saw you and Jessie. She had been even more startled when she saw you both, sitting side by side in the cubbies, Jessie with a hand on your thigh and your hand cupping Jessie’s chin as your lips locked with hers. The sound of the door opening hadn’t alerted you and Jessie but the sound of it slamming shut did. You both split apart, whipping your heads around with wide eyes. You both saw Guro who was standing in the doorway mouth open, unable to look away from you and Jessie.

Thankfully in that moment, Guro agreed to pretend she didn’t see anything, you and Jessie both talking over each other to explain to her it's not what it looks like. Guro had stuck to that promise, never mentioning the kiss she witnessed to anyone, and hardly mentioning it to you. She had teased you for a bit about it in private but stopped once you let her know that Jessie had told you she wasn’t interested in starting any relationships in the middle of the season. She claimed she just was just too busy, and couldn’t even think about relationships until the off season. It had upset you, but it also led to you counting the days until the season was over. Your flirting had continued, the kiss and rejection not changing anything, giving you hope for the day the season ended. And now it is officially off-season as Guro had said earlier in the evening.

“Go!” Guro shoved you again in the direction of Jessie who sat at a table. You stumbled as her force caused you to bump into a few people on the dance floor. You excused yourself as you made your move over to the brown haired, brown eyed girl. As you walked up to the table, Niamh and her girlfriend got up from their seats, waving in the direction of the dance floor. You turned to see Guro waving back at them, she shot you a wink to which you rolled your eyes.

“No dancing for you?” You questioned Jessie as she had remained in her chair, picking at the label on the bottle in front of her.

“No, I’m alright here, there's no need for me to embarrass myself.” She looked up at you. “You seemed like you were having a good time out there though.”

“I mean, the two shots I was peer pressured into taking, no thanks to you by the way,” you joked with her “helped me get out there, I’m sure I looked silly, I just cared less.”

“You didn’t look silly, you looked good.” Jessie’s words ring in your ears. You look down to her to see she's back to watching her nails pick at the bottle in front of her. Her cheeks have a pink color creeping up them.

Not sure how to respond to her comment, you finally decide to sit down across from her, placing your own empty bottle on the table. You sit with her in a silence that borders on being uncomfortable, without the noise of the bar it would be fully uncomfortable. Your mind races through thoughts. Do you tell her you want to kiss her? Do you ask her what her plans are for the offseason? Maybe ask if she’s seeing anyone? Ask her if she’s looking forward to being back with the Canadian team? See if she’s visiting family? Despite the many options that you could have gone, your brain takes a different route.

“So it's the off season now.” Those were the words that came out of your mouth. Jessie looks across to you, a blank expression on her face. She’s not sure if you're asking a question or just stating facts. She can't tell if you are expecting a response from her either.

Letting your brain catch up to the sentence that you had just said, you clarified, “I just mean that, back when we kissed,” the latter half of that sentence coming out as nearly a whisper. “You said you didn’t want to start anything in the middle of the season. And now it's not.” You mentally smack yourself, clenching your eyes shut quickly, hoping it’ll take away the embarrassment that you're feeling. This is the least smooth way you could have brought this up.

“Right,” Jessie starts, her eyes dart around the room quickly, avoiding your stare, a smirk creeps up on her lips before she speaks again. “I’m going to step outside for a second, just get some fresh air, it's kind of hot in here.” Her eyes look intensely into yours as she glances over at the door, then back to you and to the door again.

You read that as rejection, feeling your heart deflate a bit you nod to her and you let her walk away without another word to her. When you hear the door close behind her you let your forehead fall to the table with a quiet “fuck” coming out from your lips. You’re jolted out of your thoughts by the sound of your phone vibrating on the table next to your head.

Sitting back up you grab it, seeing 9 new messages. Only caring about the most recent 3.

JFlem: are you joining me or what?

JFlem: apparently you don't know that the eye contact meant you were supposed to follow me

JFlem: I now see how maybe that wasn't clear enough

Not even bothering to finish reading the other messages you had received, most likely family and friends congratulating you on the league. You stood up quickly, nearly knocking your chair down behind you, pushed it in and headed toward the door you had seen Jessie go out just a few minutes prior. You walk out to an empty quiet street, streetlights lining the roadway.

“There she is.” Jessie calls to you. You turn to her, she's leaning against the brick wall arms crossed in front of her. She’s smiling at you as she watches you turn around. Her appearance slightly changed since you last took note. Her hair was now down resting against her cheeks and just above her shoulders. The top two buttons on her shirt now undone, letting you see more of her neck and chest. “Sorry about that, I thought you could understand what I was getting at.”

“No, I couldn't.” You walk over to her standing in front of her, giving her an eye roll for dramatic affect. “Sorry I’m not fluent in eye movements.” The comment makes her laugh, her face lighting up. Her laugh was one of your favorite sounds and watching her laugh was one of your favorite sights, the way her eyes would squint shut, the smile on her face, the way her shoulders shook, all of it.

“Come on.” Jessie grabs your hand, moving to the side to begin pulling you down the street. You took the second to interlace your fingers, her hands slightly bigger than yours, yours warmer than hers.

You decided it best not to ask questions on what was happening or where you were going, letting her lead you down the sidewalk. Her pace picks up slightly at first, making you speed walk to keep her from physically dragging you behind her. She eventually sped up to the point of the two of you both running, side by side down the street. The roads began to look familiar when you put two and two together. Jessie was taking you back to her place.

You walked up to the door of her building, having been there many times already you knew it well. She dropped your hand and you watched as she entered a security code, a beep occurred and she pulled the door back, swinging her arm to motion for you to walk through. You followed her direction, now you are grabbing her hand, pulling her toward her own apartment, nearly running out of excitement. You move out of the way as you watch her fumble with the keys, feeling like she takes hours to unlock the door. With this door, she walks in first, pulling you in behind her.

The door closes behind you and you find your back coming into contact with it seconds later as Jessie’s hands have found your hips and are pushing you backward. Her hands are firm in her grasp and yet soft in their force holding you to the door. She had you pinned against the door, but not moving any further.

Not sure if Jessie had sensed the question pop up in your head or maybe she had seen your eyes dart over to Niamh’s bedroom door. “Niamh said she is spending the night at her girlfriend’s, no one is home.”

You let out a small sigh of relief, wanting to be able to finish what you and Jessie were about to start. Your own arms are holding her, one on her shoulder and the other on her forearm. You’re both slightly panting, you could smell the faint traces of tequila and beer between you. Yes you were professional athletes but something about finally being in this position with each other, makes you lose your breath.

Jessie’s brown eyes rake over your face, looking everywhere before settling on your lips, glancing up to your eyes and then back to your lips.

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about doing this.” With those words giving you final confirmation that this is what you both wanted, your hand that was previously on her shoulder moves to the collar of her shirt, grabbing a handful and pulling her into you, your lips finally meeting again after many months apart. You taste the drinks on her lips with a hint of vanilla, a chapstick she was known for carrying with her everywhere.

It starts sweet, like your first kiss but you can't help but move your hand from her collar to the back of her neck, pulling her in harder against you, not wanting this to stay sweet. You feel Jessie’s tongue against your bottom lip and you return the action against her lips to allow the kiss to deepen. The kiss has your head buzzing, all of your senses being consumed by Jessie. The taste of her lips, the smell of her hair and perfume, the feeling of her skin under your hands, the end of her hair tickling your hand that rested on her neck. All aspects of Jessie were consuming your thoughts.

One of her hands wanders from your hip to your stomach, sliding under your shirt. The coldness of her hands sends a jolt through your body and you pull back from the kiss. You rest your head back on the door for a second before looking back at her. Your heart pounding in your ears as you watch her open her eyes, pupils down large as she looks back at you. Her flushed cheeks made it look like she just played a full 90.

“Jess,” name is the only word that you manage to get out your voice sounding strained, taking another deep breath she finishes your thought for you.

“Bedroom?” She cocks an eyebrow up asking.

“How much have you had to drink?” You couldn’t help but ask, her new found confidence seeming out of the normal for her. The last thing you wanted was for her to regret this in the morning due to the shot and other drinks your teammates had handed her the night.

“Enough to give me a little confidence to make a move but also not enough so I’m still levelheaded and clear in this decision.” She answers, looking into your eyes, knowing you just were looking out for her. “I want this and I’ve wanted this.” She reassures you.

Not needing to hear much more, you gently push Jessie back, “Bedroom.” Nodding your head in the direction of her bedroom.

You follow her down the hall and through her bedroom door. It was now your turn to take control of your movements, you grab Jessie’s wrist tugging her close to you. Reconnecting your lips, your hands now on her hips you walk her backward, pushing her in the direction of her bed. The back of her legs hit the mattress and she sits down, parting her legs so that you can stand between them. Placing your hands on either side of her face, you lean down to kiss her softly. Jessie, wanting to speed things up, slides her hands along the top of your pants. Her hands find the bottom of your shirt pulling at it gently hoping you'll get the hint. You do, pulling back from kissing her to help her pull it over her head. Jessie slides further up the bed extending a hand to you which you gladly take. She pulled you up onto the bed and on top of her. You situate your hips between her thighs and the midfielder below you wraps her legs around your waist, your upper body hovers above her. Her arm comes up to your neck and she pulls you down onto her into a sloppy kiss, feeling your body weight on top of her, she lets out a sighing moan against your lips.

You wake up to the bright light of the sun coming in through the blinds. You quickly realize this is not your bedroom with your blackout curtains, it is Jessie’s bedroom. You have woken up in Jessie’s bedroom, in her bed. Rolling over when you see her back, the blanket sitting just above her hips. It stands out to you that she has no shirt on, bringing you to the realization that you also do not have a shirt on, or pants. Jessie still appears to be asleep, the rise and fall of her chest is slow and relaxed. Your eyes wander across her back, admiring the muscle definition and also admiring some of the pink marks that you had a hand in making last night from your nails and mouth.

Pushing the covers off, you move to get out of the bed, grabbing Jessie’s shirt from last night off the floor and putting it on.

“Are you running out on me already?” A sleepy voice from the bed says. Jessie is sitting up, rubbing her eyes as she looks at you. She’s now covering her chest with the blanket. Her hair is crazy, partly from sleeping and partly from last night's activities. She looked absolutely beautiful to you.

“No, I was just going to use the bathroom and put on some clothes.” Looking down at the fact that you still had no pants on, you see Jessie quickly glance down following your eyes, a small blush coming across her face. She nods and you head into Jessie’s ensuite closing the door behind you.

“I have some clothes you can wear if you want.” Jessie's voice comes through the door. You walk out grabbing the shirt and sweatpants from her hands. She had thrown on some clothes while you were in the bathroom, her free hand was in the process of trying to tame her hair. You quickly throw on the clean clothes, smoothing down your own hair and then sit on the edge of the bed.

Jessie moves toward the door of her bedroom, grabbing the handle, you jump up follow shortly behind her but are quickly stopped as Jessie lets out a gasp and slams the door shut behind her before you have a chance to get through. Left face to face with the door you are confused until you hear Jessie start talking.

“Niamh. Hi. I thought you were, where's your girlfriend, weren't you staying there? Not here last night?” The shake and panic in Jessie’s voice is noticeable as she stutters her way through the shock of seeing her roommate, who explicitly said she wouldn’t be home, standing in front of her.

“We ended up coming here, we drank too much and didn’t want to make the trip. She’s still sleeping on account of we weren’t able to get much sleep last night. But I guess neither did you.” Your eyes widened as you heard Niamh’s words through the door. She had heard you and Jessie last night.

“You might as well tell her to come out here, instead of in your bedroom. No point in hiding when I had the torture of listening to you both yelling each other’s names all night.”

Cringing at the thought of Niamh overhearing your night, you pinched your eyes shut, taking a deep breath and reached for the door handle. The longer you waited, the more awkward it was going to become.

You opened the door, Jessie turning back to look at you, her face a deep red. Niamh is sitting at the counter, a smug look on her face as she watches you and the Canadian look at each other, both mortified. You look quickly at Niamh before glancing away. The eye contact with her is deeply uncomfortable, you can't help but think about all of the things she may have heard between you and Jess last night

“You owe me earplugs and probably some therapy.” The smile on Niamh’s face told you that she was kidding but also l that you wouldn’t be escaping these jokes for a long time. Unable to form words, your brain is still overwhelmed by being essentially walked in on by one of your teammates last night, you just lifted your hand in a thumbs up in her direction. You moved behind Jessie putting your forehead on the back of her shoulder blade to hide your face. “So embarrassing.” You mumble into Jessie’s back, unsure if Niamh could hear or not.

“I’m surprised you both have voices left after everything you were saying last night-”

“NIAMH!”

[stillfacingthesky]

being trans is such a mindfuck. nobody knows who i am. i dont need to come out, im fine as i am. i hide behind my clothes. i dont recognise myself in the mirror. i dont know if i ever will. i want to transition. im scared of change. i want to be seen and known. i am in danger. queer joy is beautiful. i am more open than a queer person used to be able to be. someone like me was murdered yesterday. i saw their face on the news, and the reporter used the wrong name. wearing mens’ clothes brings me joy, and the joy is reminiscent of a little girl. i want to be pretty. my skin doesnt fit and my voice is not mine. im scared i might love my father more. i dont need to come out, i can manage this all. im going to die someday anyway, it wont matter. a kid was staring at me in the bookstore today and i saw my past in their eyes. i wonder if they saw their future in mine. i want to be someones boyfriend. i am my brothers sister. all bodies are beautiful except mine. god created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. god hates fags. there is something wrong with me. if i ignore it, itll go away. its not going away. it hasnt gone away in seven years. i dont want to be a stereotype. i love brash vulgarity. my mother thinks i am beautiful. i share her face. i know ill regret it if i never come out. i dont want to waste my life wearing a costume. i dont know if i want to sacrifice the life that ive had for the life i could have. someone out there understands me. someone else would kill me without regret. someone would cry if i was gone. someone would praise my killer as a hero. there are photos and illustrations of people like me in the past. our history has been erased. theyre still trying to erase us. i dont know if the present is worth the future. i want to be happy. i dont feel like i deserve it. ‘female’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘woman’ makes me see stars. i am one but not the other. i am the ghost of the person i want to be. i encourage others and love them regardless. i am a hypocrite. ive been in hiding since i was thirteen. i want to be loud. my mother spent nine months creating me. i will spend the rest of my life creating myself. i am scared. i am angry. i am beautiful and sickening and i want to rip my skin apart to make space for something new. my rage is glorious. they will never understand. i do not need them to. i am so lonely. i am an artist and i want to be a masterpiece. they call my creation mutilation. i dont want to make my parents sad. i want my brother to like me. i am visibly queer. that man shouted at me to smile because he was treating me like a woman. what i have right now is enough. i want more. i don’t know if ill ever have it. if i die tomorrow, i will be buried in a dress. it will be a dress that is already in my closet, a pretty dress that i havent worn in years.

[meowsforyujin]

Clubbing- Han

Han x fem bodied reader

(Warnings- !!smut!! , choking, drinking, oral, fingering, unprotected sex)

!not proofread, I’m lazy

Clubbing wasn’t something out of the ordinary in your friend group. What WAS out of the ordinary was that literally everyone had found a “ride” home but you and freaking han jisung. Jisung was your best friend’s brother, aka pain in your ass. You did not like him AT ALL. You didn’t like his gorgeous figure, his perfect slim waist, his gummy smile…

Okay just because you think someone's good looking doesn't mean you like them. 

Jisung was annoying, for starters. He’s always messing with you, and FLIRTING with you. He’s always making it seem like you have a crush on him, and it pisses you off. 

“Me? Have a crush on YOU? You wish” you’d say.

“Whatever you say princess.”

What was really blood boiling was that your best friend didn't seem to care one bit. If your brother was flirting with her, you’d kick him in the nuts. But not her, she either laughed or ignored it. 

Fast forward to present, here you are sitting lonely at the bar with no one to take you home, since everyone had luck tonight BUT you. 

“Why are you so lonely at a club, it’s depressing.” you hear that stupid fucking voice that makes your heart beat oh so slightly faster

“No reason that's your business asshole.” you snap your head around. 

“Is someone grumpy that they aren't getting laid?” He asks smugly, sitting down next to you. 

“I think you're teasing me because you're upset YOU'RE not getting laid” you say, annoyance visible in your tone. 

“I have a better chance than you.” he stuck his tongue out like a child  

The bartender handed you your drink and you spaced out, eyes on the dance floor. You loved dancing. Han also knew you loved dancing because he loved watching you dance. He wasn’t ever one to be in denial, unlike you. 

“Well since it's just us less, I suppose we have no choice but to dance together.” 

You come back to your senses and look back at him, making a disgusted facial expression before shaking your head. 

“Come on, it's your favorite song, you want to dance so bad I know it.” He says holding out his hand. 

You opened your mouth to protest, but gave up and hesitantly took his hand. It was your favorite song, though you don’t remember telling anyone. 

There isn’t anything in the world that could make Jisung regret asking you to dance, he’s sure. You’re the most pretty thing he’s ever seen. He doesn't like to watch you dance because you're good at it, no. You’re exceptionally bad at it. It’s absolutely adorable. 

You hate to admit, but this is one of the best times you’ve had on the dance floor. You don’t know why, it’s not really any different from dancing with your other friends. Maybe you just like watching him smile and laugh more than the others. 

Everything was going pretty wholesome until a few drinks in the song changed to a more slow, sexual song. But it’s fine right? Jisung is just a friend, it doesn’t mean anything when you're dancing with your back pressed against him, slightly grinding against him. But youre a little tipsy, and so is he, and to be quite honest neither of you see each other as a friend. 

But you’re quickly sober when you feel a bulge press against you, you're breath hitching. 

“Jisung?”

“Hm?” he replies, head still on your shoulder.

“Are you hard right now?” 

He just hums and plants wet kisses on your neck. 

“HAN JISUNG” You turn around, fully intending to scold him until you see his gaze.  

“What.”

He’s staring at you, hands still on your hips. His eyes half lidded, lips parted, hair messy, eyes absolutely filled with lust. You feel small under his gaze so you move your attention away from his eyes, and it’s just now you're noticing the way he's dressed. He’s wearing a button up that frames his biceps so well it's insane, unbuttoned a bit to where you can see the slight outline of his pec muscles

Your thoughts are brutally interrupted when you feel his hand pull up your chin to met his eyes. 

“What.” he repeats himself. 

“I um, your, uh, um” You forgot how to speak English all of a sudden. 

“Are you shy baby?”

It was like you were hypnotized by him, because instead of scolding him you simply nodded. And he did nothing. He just stared. But you wanted him to do something, anything. 

“Jisung, please.” You're voice came out more of a whimper than you intended. 

“Please what princess?”

You faulted for a moment, not knowing exactly how to put into words what you wanted.

“Can you, can you atleast just kiss me?” You breathed. 

And he didn't waste any time fulfilling your wish, almost crashing his lips onto yours. It felt like he has been waiting to do that for forever (he has). The kiss was sloppy and heated, tongues tracing each others mouth, teeth gnashing together every now and then. The heat in between your legs was beginning to become unbearable. 

“Please, can we get out of here?” you pulled away looking at him with pleading eyes. 

When he got to his car, he truly didn't expect you to be this impatient. His plan was to drive back to his apartment before resuming anything, but CLEARLY you had other plans. 

Your hips on either side of him, grinding softly while attacking the skin on his neck. 

Jisung couldn't help the moans that escaped him, and he didn't want to either. 

“Princess, we can't do this here, l, let's just get home first hm?” He huffed, pulling your hair behind your ear. 

“Please just let me do something before we stop.” You whined, the wait was too long already. 

He sighed and nodded, not knowing what to expect.

You pushing the driver's seat back harshly was more attractive than it should've been. You got down off the seat, onto the ground of the car. Your hands crept up to his zipper while he looked at you with great anticipation. You palm his bulge slightly, pulling a beautiful whine out of him, before taking out his member completely. You try, you really try to hold the gasp in when you see his size. You couldn't help yourself, you had to get your hands on it. 

You run your fingers up and down his member, causing ticklish yet still pleasurable sensations. Jisung moaned, bucking his hips up slightly, trying to show you that he needed more. You hum before licking a long stripe up his dick, earning a long whine from him. You circled his tip, collecting the bits of precum leaking from it. Without wasting any second you take him in, his tip hitting that back of your through as tears prick the corner of your eyes, threatening to fall. You began bobbing up and down, leaving jisung a moaning mess. His hips buck up as he hissed, trying to hold himself back. You pull off, unsatisfied. 

“Don’t do that, don’t hold back.” You watch his beautiful face turn a deep red as he shyly nodded. 

You went back down, this time sucking at his tip on the way up, which seemed to be his limit. His hands found their way to your hair, holding you in place before thrusting into your mouth. He only got in a few thrusts before his hips stilled, cock twitching as he came. You swallowed every bit while watching his gaze on you, chest falling up and down heavily. 

The drive home felt agonizingly slow. As soon as the car stopped, you all but ran to the front door, eager to get in jisungs pants again. The moment the door opened you were pinned to the wall, jisung kicking the door closed behind him. Your lips reattached after what felt like forever, and he took this opportunity to pin your wrists to the wall above you. You let out a satisfactory moan when he did so, causing him to grow harder and harder in his pants. He moved from your lips to your neck, leaving open mouth kisses. The gentleness was quickly replaced with his teeth slightly sinking into your skin,  sucking harshly. You enjoyed it though, your whimpered sure as hell confirmed that. 

Jisung reached under your thighs, pulling slightly signaling you to jump. And you did, wrapping your thighs around his waist, and kissing him once again. He set you down on the kitchen counter, your legs still wrapped firmly around his waist, trying to pull him impossible closer. His hands reach under your shirt, tugging slightly. You pull away from the kiss, granting him access to take off your shit. He practically lunged towards your chest, leaving wet kisses along your cleavage. Your breath hitched as you felt his hands going up your skirt, feeling your heat. 

“So wet baby, for me?” He flashed you that stupid cocky smile of his.

“Just do something about it sung, please?”  You looked up at him with pleading eyes.

The nickname definitely hit a soft spot, as he's never heard you call him that. He couldn’t say he didn’t like it though. 

He bent down, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. You watched his strong hands reach up your thighs, rolling your skirt back. He attached his lips to your clothed clit, causing a desirable cry from you. You whines at the lost contact when he pulled away, removing your underwear and then getting back into the same position. 

You whined feeling his warm tongue lick up your pussy. He starts painfully slow, kitty licking every inch of you, just wanting to taste every spot. While this was nice, it wasn't any of the right movements to make you cum. And you wanted to cum, so bad. All of a sudden it was as if he read your mind. His lips curled around your clit, sucking gently as he pushed a finger into you. You let out a cry of satisfaction, begging him to keep going. He pumped his finger in and out of you while sucking your clit, and soon one finger became two. Soon after the second finger was added, you were cumming all over his face with a cry of his name. 

Jisung cleaned you up with his tongue, not wanting to miss a single drop until you whined from the overstimulation. He gives you a quick peck of the lips before taking you into his arms, carrying you to the bedroom. 

He sets you down on the bed and then turns around, confusing you. 

“Where are you going?”

He turns back at you with a soft smile, “Just going to get stuff to clean you up, and then clothes for you to sleep in.”

You frowned, “Who said we're done?”

“Oh, I um, thought maybe you were tired..I didn't want to pressure you.” why was he so sweet? It was bothering you.

“No sung, im not tired, want you to fuck me.” 

He blinks a couple of times, breath caught in his throat, before hurrying over to the bed toppling over you. Before you could laugh at him, he's already kissing you. Both of your clothes are off in seconds, thrown somewhere unimportant. His eyes were glued on your naked figure, with an unreadable expression. You turned your head away nervously, crossing your arms over you. 

You yelped when he harshly removed your arms and pinned them up above you. 

“You’re so, so beautiful. So much fucking better than I imagined.”

You felt your face burning at the last comment “What do you mean imagined sung?”, you chuckled softly, but really you wanted to know. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this, to make you mine.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling his crotch down to meet yours. 

“I’m not yours yet, you better hurry up”

He let out a “Tch” sound before entering you without warning, filling you up so perfectly you wanted to never be empty again. You felt every inch of him against your walls, tip so sweetly brushed against the spot you loved most. 

“Fuuuck sung please move” you cried, rutting up your hips trying to get some friction against your g spot. 

“Mmm only if you say your mine.” 

“Shit sung, okay okay I’m yours.”

“Again.”

“I’m yours.”

“Again.”

You rolled your eyes, “Han Jisung, I’m yours and only yours.”

And with that he began thrashing his hips into you, hitting your spot everytime. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping and both your moans. He pulls your legs back around his waist, trying to hit your spot better, and holy shit he succeeded. You were so so so close, and he was too, you could feel his dick twitching inside you. 

“Sung, im so close please” you begged, tears falling from your eyes.

“You’re so fucking good for me” he grunts, thrusting faster.

“Please choke me” You whined

He was hesitant at first but shortly complied, wrapping his fingers around your throat giving it a light squeeze. All of a sudden, time stopped. All on your mind was bliss as your walls clamped down onto him, pulling a high pitched moan from him while he came too. 

After you both came down from your high, jisung picked you up and took you to the bathroom. He set you down on the sink while he ran the bathtub. You simply just watched him, soaking in his beauty. 

For a good solid 10 minutes, you both were silent, just sitting, feeling each other's warmth. Eventually Jisung picked up a bottle of soap and began to clean you. 

“I can do things by myself jisung.” You glared at him

“Mmm but I want to help you, love. And also I prefer my new nickname “sung” now.”

You scoffed but let him continue his task, picking up the bottle of soap out of mere curiosity. 

“Vanilla?” You laughed “Your soap is vanilla scented?”

“I like vanilla, what’s wrong with that?” he pouted.

“Nothing.” You whispered, giving him a soft kiss. 

“So, for the record, you did have a crush on me.”

“HAN JISUNG!!”

[loveshotzz]

All I Really Want Is You

older!neighbor!widower! steve x fem!reader chap three/ten - a slow burn series of blurbs - updated every wednesday

Mr. Fix It

summary: when your kitchen sink breaks, you ask your new ‘friend’ for help.

wc: 2.8k

warnings: 18+ series for future chapters. lots of pining, and steve opens up a little about his past.

authors note: this chapter was a struggle for me, lots of overthinking and rewriting. I hope you guys like it though 💗

🌇 chapter one | chapter two -> chapter four

Series Masterlist/Playlist/The tune:

Early June - A Thursday

Your first week as a waitress at The Whale was a whirlwind, long hours on your feet leaving you exhausted every time you climbed your staircase each night. Dishes and laundry piling up around your apartment, so when you finally have a day off it is dedicated to playing catch up. The smell of coffee fills your apartment as you stretch looking out your living room window. New curtains ready to be hung leaning against the wall.

His car is gone, the normal work day in full swing for most of the city. You haven’t seen him since that night in the alley, your schedules seeming completely opposite now. Part of you hopes maybe today you’ll at least catch a glimpse of your new friend and his cute dog.  

Most of the day is spent going up and down your stairs to the shared laundry room in the basement of the building. In between loads is filled with distractions of things to do in your room and whatever you left playing on your TV. Your eyes actively avoid the dishes that have piled in your sink while you actually fold your laundry. It is only when you don’t have any more excuses that you finally drag your pink fuzzy slipper covered feet over to the one chore you’ve been dreading all day.

“I gotta get better at washing as I use,” you grumble like every other time you find yourself here.

You only get two plates and a bowl deep when the sink starts to clog, groaning annoyedly you flip the switch of the disposal only to be met with the sound of metal grinding against metal. A smell resembling burning plastic hits your nose and you’re quick to flip it off, the water still refusing to drain. Slamming down on the faucet handle, you wait a couple of minutes before daring to reach in to see if a piece of silverware got stuck in there. When your fingertips meet nothing but warm water, panic starts to set in. 

You flip the switch one more time out of curiosity, and the same unbearable sound drowns out your TV. You huff turning it off, hands finding your hips as you look around for a solution you know you aren’t going to find without calling someone. Bandit’s bark catches your ears, and you hate that all your frustrations seem to disappear at the thought of seeing him.

You pad over to your window, eyes going big and head dropping at the sight that’s waiting for you.

Of fucking course.

It’s obvious he barely got home from work by the black slacks that still cover his long legs, but the dress shirt is missing. Instead the white tank top he wears underneath is all that’s there. Tucked in so it fits tight across his torso, his dark chest hair peeks out the top with a silver chain shining against his bronzed skin. His forearms flex tugging on the tennis ball trapped in Bandit’s tight grip, his sock and slide covered feet plant on the ground for added balance. The smile on his face you swear is brighter than the sun that isn’t hidden by any clouds today and you didn’t realize how much you missed it. 

It’s somehow even hotter than it looked outside, and you immediately regret not changing out of your warm slippers, but he’s already spotted you with an offering of a friendly wave with his big hand. He gets the ball away from Bandit, losing his footing surprised, shock painting his features before the dog starts jumping on him. Steve raises it over his head, keeping Bandit too distracted to see you at the gate that he’s signaling for you to let yourself in from. 

Your hand shakes a little when you unhook the latch, nerves from never being at his house before and not seeing him for the past week try to get the best of you. He smiles when he looks at you from over the rim of his sunglasses letting Bandit win finally but it’s too late for toys when he spots you. Bounding over with big paws, Bandit wastes no time jumping on you, making you stumble back a little before catching him in your arms.

“Bandit! Come on, don’t knock her down,” Steve scolds, but those pretty giggles that he loves so much come out when his dog starts licking your cheek and it tells him all he needs to know.

“Hi buddy, I missed you too.” You grin, your animal voice coming out only a little when you feel Steve’s stare fixated on you.

Bandit wags his tail jumping down satisfied before grabbing his ball again bringing it back to you to continue the game you interrupted.

“Hey tough girl.” Steve smirks shoving his hands in his pockets watching you accept his dog’s invitation. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

You play with Bandit’s ears to try and distract him as you do your best to get the rubber ball out of his iron tight bite, completely losing focus on why you came over here in the first place when you succeed and throw it towards their front door.

“Oh my god, my sink!” You gasp, your hand covering your embarrassed grin.

Steve’s eyes widen, his eye brows marrying together in the middle with concern. 

“Is it flooding?!” He asks incredulously as Bandit trots back over carefree. 

“No, not flooding.” You assure him going back in for the toy, and you can tell your nonchalance is getting to him. “My disposal is making sounds and it smells like plastic burning every time I run it, so the water won’t drain.” You get the ball away from Bandit cause he lets you, only continuing your explanation after you throw it again. 

“I was hoping my good friend and neighbor could come check it out?” You try to lighten the mood with a smile but the concern never leaves his face, the pink that dusts his cheeks tells you he’s not unaffected by your ‘charms’ though.

“It’s probably something stuck in the pipes, let me get some tools and I'll come back with you.” He speaks like he’s sure he knows that’s it, snapping his fingers at Bandit to get him to wrap it up.

“Are you sure? I’m not interrupting anything tonight?” You hope he doesn’t pick up on the hidden ulterior motives in your question, but the smirk he gives you tells you he does.

“No honey, I’m all yours.”

It’s strange having him in your apartment again, and god you wish he had put on a real shirt when he got his tool box. The tops of his shoulders are covered in even more freckles, the tint of redness from the sun becoming obvious in your harsh kitchen light. The muscles in his arms twitch in the cold air of your AC that works harder with the heat of two bodies in your small space. 

His gaze falls on your full sink and you immediately regret going to get his help. Silently cursing your hormones for getting the best of you. 

“Sorry, obviously I was trying to do them. It’s been a long week, I started a new job serving and-“ embarrassment makes blood rush to your cheeks as you go to move past him in an attempt to clean some of it up.

“Hey, you’re fine.” He grabs your arm before you can make it, long fingers wrapping around you in a firm grip but still soft enough for you to pull away if you really wanted to. “I’m not judging you.”

His lips tug into a warm smile when you don’t try and break away, the gold specs in his eyes lighting up while his thumb brushes against your heated skin in a soothing motion. It only grows wider watching how your shoulders give in to his whims with a slump.

“Just know I was about to do them!” You argue weakly with a point of your finger and he just nods, the corners of his mouth twitching in an effort not to laugh at your distress. 

“How else would you know your sink is broken?” His voice wavers when he tries to play along with a straight face, but it becomes impossible when he catches the roll of your eyes. You do that a lot to him. He likes it.

“Better watch yourself Steve,” you warn with a grin wrapped around your words that hold no real threat, but it’s hard to fight it when he still hasn’t let you go. 

He’s closer now, and you notice his five o’clock shadow is as dark as it was the first day you met. Salt and pepper covering his sharp jaw. The faded fresh scent of his deodorant mixes with the spice of his cologne, and the sweat that kissed his skin outside. You want to bury your face in his shirt and inhale.

“You shouldn’t threaten the guy that’s here to fix your sink honey. That’s not very smart,” he tsks looking down the edge of his nose at you with squinted eyes, “you’re lucky I’m so nice.” 

You immediately feel the loss when he drops your arm and if it wasn’t for the wink that followed, you would have missed it more.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you tease trying to play off how flustered you are but the slight shake in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed, confidence smoldering in his stare before his teeth come out in a blinding smile.

“Let me go take a look, see what I can do. Your dishes aren’t offending me, I promise.” He does his best to ease the last bit of self consciousness still hanging onto the way you look over at the small mess before walking away with tools clanking in the metal box loudly behind him.

It had been almost an hour with him like this.

He’s on his back, long legs extending over the small space of your kitchen tile. Slides kicked to the side, white sock covered feet wiggling with his movements under your sink. The top of him is hidden, the tank top that was tucked in now loose and pulling up, giving you the hint of his happy trail. You try not to stare at the way the muscles in his arm harden with each twist of his wrist, or the grunts that leave him every now and then.

You find out he works in marketing for The Cubs and used to play baseball himself in high school, laughing when you confess how much you don’t like sports. He promises to take you to a game sometime saying he knows you’ll have fun and you try not to think too much into it. He knows you're rolling your eyes again when you answer “sure” with a smile in your voice. He lets you complain about your first week as a server, surprising you when he asks questions because he’s actually listening.

Metal clanks loudly, cutting you off and drowning out the playlist you chose to fill any empty gaps in conversation that never seemed to happen. An “I’m fine” coming out from under the sink just a little too even to really sound ‘fine’.

There’s a beat before you see him reach for the pliers at his hip, readjusting like he’s set his sights on the culprit.

“Wait, I don’t think you ever told me - hmmpf - what - come on - restaurant you work at?” He readjusts again.

“The Whale,” you give him an answer, hypnotized by his ability to multitask like this.

“Oh, my wife loved that place.” He says it casually like he didn’t just drop a Hiroshima sized bomb on you, or maybe he does and that's why he chose to do it hidden from sight. 

You're thankful he can’t see the way your jaw drops, or the disappointment that fills your eyes. There’s a beat of silence before you answer, trying to hide the shock in your voice.

“Wife? I didn’t know Bandit had a Mom.” You look up at the ceiling, mouthing the work ‘fuck’ into the void.

There’s another clank of metal followed by a ‘there you are.’

“Erm - I mean - umm, technically I got Bandit after - I didn’t want to use ex wife, I just don’t know the proper term to say I’ve been widowed for five years.”  He grunts one more time before he starts shimming out. “I do think I found the source of your clog though.”

Your favorite stray clings to his forehead when you get to see his face again, a pleased smile pushing his cheeks up despite the new information he just told you as he holds the ring you thought you lost during the move.

“My ring!” You gasp, jumping off your couch, the opal stone catching in the setting sunlight. 

“Clearly, you do, do your dishes.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you laughing when you shove his shoulder lightly snatching your jewelry back.

“You’re hilarious Steve.” The tightness that had formed in your chest relaxes, his smile becoming contagious.

He likes the way you say his name and the way your lips twist up every time you do. It’s sweet enough to ease the guilt that he’s fought with since the day he met you.

“I know,” he huffs as he pushes himself up, reminding you how broad he is when he’s back on his feet. “You should’ve seen my speech at the Legends of the Ball gala last year.”

He gets that eye roll he didn’t get to see earlier, and god he doesn’t want to leave yet but when you slip the ring onto that finger he knows it’s time to go. For now.

He clears his throat before turning around to test his work. Flipping the switch, the sound it’s supposed to make returns, the water in the sink draining quickly.

“Annnd, all back to normal.” His grin is proud when he turns it off. “‘Now, let me clean my mess up and I’ll get out of your hair.” Mirroring his own words he finally pushes his back and you see the dusty pink that covers his ears when he slips his feet back into his slides.

“I feel like I can’t let you leave without offering you a drink or something?” You know all you have in the fridge is some rosé you got on sale at Aldi, but you needed a reason for him to stay.

“How about this, you can bring me back some of those fish tacos one night this week and we’ll call it even.”  He can’t look at you when he suggests it, hoping his ploy to see you again wasn’t obvious while he busies himself with putting all his tools away.

“I think that’s more than doable, I need to thank you for finding my favorite ring too, maybe you should pick a dessert while we’re at it.” You bite your bottom lip when his eyes meet yours with a lopsided grin.

“I’m a big fan of cannoli’s.” He snaps the clasps of his tool box closed before doing a once over to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. Not that, that would be a bad thing if he did, you’d have to bring it back to him. 

“Consider it done. Seriously, thank you Steve.” All your teasing from before is gone, making his  face soften at your sincerity and he wants to tell you that’s enough for him.

“Anytime, that’s what neighbors are for right? It’s always just me and Bandit anyway. It’s nice to feel useful again.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal, like he wouldn’t help you with anything you asked of him despite how he hardly knows you.

You walk him to your door where you both stand on either side of the threshold, toe to toe. Neither one of you is sure of the proper way to say goodbye.

“Give Bandit an extra treat from me for letting me steal his Dad for a few hours.” You break the ice leaning against the door frame, crossing your arms making the decision easy.

“I’ll be sure to tell him it’s from you.” Steve’s eyes gleam from the evident admiration you have for his dog. 

“You better.” The threat is empty, the smile on your face to prove it. 

“Have a good night honey. I’m always just next door if you need anything else.” He loiters a little bit unsure of himself before finally turning to make his way down the stairs.

“I’ll try not to lose any more jewelry down the drains!” You call after him, relishing in the laugh it gets you that echoes down the narrow hallway. 

You wait till he’s out of your sight before you shut your front door. Your mind racing with everything you’d learned about him tonight, sleep was going to be impossible. 

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beta’d by @superblysubpar & @newlips 💗

dividers by @newlips 💗

chapter four

[chubbyreaderwriter]

Play House Pt 2

Dandy Mott x Chubby/Plus Size Reader

Imagine: Dandy always makes you play House with him whenever you visit.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: smut

Part 1 Masterlist

The LONGGGG awaited Part 2!!

It had been two peaceful weeks since the last time you had seen Dandy and you couldn’t get him out of your head. Every night in your dreams, the scene of what might have happened had you not been interrupted played in your mind. Your feelings were conflicted and you didn’t want to return to that house until you knew what you wanted. With every single call to your home, you regretted being nice to him more and more. He demanded you to return to him, offering more and more money to your mother. You knew she needed it but she declined because of your wishes. But she had run out of excuses for you now and you had to go back.

Your mother drove you once more towards the house much grander than your own and you felt nervous. Dandy had always been unpredictable but you were worried how he would act with you now. The car had stopped but you still hadn’t got out yet. Your mother turned to you, “It’s just one night, what’s the worst that can happen. I’ll make sure to come by as early as I can to pick you up, okay?” You didn’t respond, just nodded in agreement and stepped out, hesitantly walking up to the door as you heard your mother’s car driving away. You lightly knocked on the door, looking down at your feet as you waited for someone to answer.

Dandy’s mother opened it this time and she looked relieved to see you, “Oh thank goodness, Dandy has been having one of his tantrums today and I just know that seeing you will put him in a good mood.” Before you could even say hello, she dragged you inside and closed the door, calling out, “Dandy, come look who’s here.” You heard a thud and then a door being opened and Dandy’s voice replying, “I don’t care mother, leave me alone.” His mother, not wanting to spoil the surprise, continued, “But she’s come all this way, just to see you dear.” You heard heavy footsteps as if he was stomping his way over to the stairs where he could see you standing next to his mother.

Almost instantly, his whole demeanour changed and he perked up. He practically ran down the stairs, excitement on his face, then anger, turning to his mother, “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming, I needed time to prepare.” His mother stuttered but Dandy ignored her in favour of taking your hand and leading you upstairs towards his room. The doors to his playroom were open as you were dragged past it and you saw everything was tipped over and thrown all over the floor. Dandy opened his bedroom door and was only too happy to pull you in and lock the door behind you. He turned to you, a strange smile on his face, “Oh, it has been far too long, hasn’t it.” You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t think of anything to say. Your mind was reeling from what had just happened within the span of the last 2 minutes and how you’d gone so quickly from being safe outside the doors to being trapped in Dandy’s bedroom once again with no ways of escaping until early morning.

If Dandy was agitated by your lack of response, he didn’t show it, seemingly all too content with just having you back in his presence once more. He stayed close to you, keeping you cornered against the wall, his hands pressed flat either side of your waist to stop you from moving away. He leaned his face in close and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your neck. Your chest rose and fell quicker than normal, your nerves getting the better of you. Dandy seemed to be entranced by the movement of your breasts rising upwards, having them spilling out over the top of your corset style dress that was tapered in at the waist and layers of soft fabric flowed over the curve of your hips and down past your knees to your mid calf. It was a modest dress with short puff sleeves and one your mother had bought you for your birthday last year. It seemed wearing it was a mistake as Dandy slowly licked his bottom lip, eyes slowly raking over your plump form, “Such a delightful body, I wanna see what it looks like underneath it all.” He grinned and your eyes widened, “N-now hold on a minute Dandy, you have to charm a lady first.” You were panicking, you weren’t the type of girl who just went about stripping for the first guy who asked. Dandy raised a confused eyebrow, “But darling, I’ve already charmed you, you’re my wife remember and we need to make a baby to start playing a proper game of house don’t we?”

You let out a nervous laugh and raised your hand, “But Dandy if I’m your wife I would have a wedding ring and since there is no ring on my finger, I can’t play the role of your wife. A-and it would be improper to engage in such activities before marriage, wouldn’t you agree?” Dandy said nothing but his brow was furrowed and you wondered if you had perhaps pushed your luck with his seemingly bipolar personality. He sighed and pushed himself back away from you, smoothing his hair back with his hand, “Hm I suppose you’re right, wait here, I’ll be back in a moment.” He walked out of the room and headed down the corridor into another room. You stood still for a moment wondering whether it would be worth it to try and leave but your thoughts drifted back to your mother and how much she needed this money. Your father had passed away a few years ago and ever since your mother had been struggling to make ends meet for the two of you, even with both of you working. If you did as you were told and stayed the night, Mrs Mott had promised your mother a lot of money to compensate for your company. As much as you found him insufferable, you knew there was worse situations to be in, so you decided you’d suck it up and deal with it for your mother.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of shoes clicking on the marble floor outside. Dandy re-entered the room with his hands behind his back. You moved away from the wall and Dandy took your left hand into his, keeping his other behind his back. He had a large grin on his face, the sight of which stirred up your nerves as you could only imagine what he had planned that would make him so giddy. He bounced forward on his feet and giggled to himself, placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand as he went down onto one knee, bringing up his other hand to show off a small navy blue velvet covered box. You couldn’t stop the gasp from escaping your mouth at the sight of it, putting two and two together. Your right hand came up to place itself on your chest, as if you could try to stop your heart from racing on the outside. You swallowed as Dandy let go of your hand to open the box, revealing a very beautiful ring inside of it. You couldn’t deny that it was a lovely ring and it looked incredibly expensive, “Oh my, Dandy I-”

Dandy grinned at your reaction, mistaking your nervousness for excitement, “I know dear, nothing but the best for my darling wife.” He took the ring out of the box and placed it upon your ring finger, his grip was firm enough you didn’t dare attempt to pull your hand away from him. As Dandy stood up, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from your hand, the ring felt a bit tight on your finger but not uncomfortably so, perhaps you just weren’t used to wearing much jewellery as you couldn’t afford to buy real gold and silver. As you lifted your hand to look at the ring, you noticed the ring band held small diamonds all around it as well as the main stone which was a soft oval shape. Your words caught in your throat as your mouth gaped, your finger held probably a years worth of rent right then. Your eyes drifted back to Dandy who was staring at you with a huge grin on his face, his hands clasped behind his back, seemingly very pleased with your reaction, “I knew you’d love it, though still not as beautiful as you, my love.”

“Oh Dandy, this is too much, especially for a game,” if possible, Dandy’s grin only widened, “Well that’s just it, I don’t want to play a game anymore. I want you as my betrothed, picture it, my darling wife.”

Your eyes felt as though they were going to pop out of their sockets, you were in such disbelief, ‘what is happening?!’ you thought to yourself. “You can’t possibly be serious, I’m no one, we just played together a few times as kids! You want me to be your wife? You could have anyone why me?!” From the sudden anger in Dandy’s eyes, you wondered if you’d perhaps said the wrong thing. Dandy took a single step closer, but it was enough to close the distance between you. You didn’t dare to open the gap again in fear of riling him up further. Dandy looked over your face, his hand coming up to lightly brush the back of his knuckles over your cheek. “I don’t have to explain myself, I want you my dear and I will do everything in my power to have you. I would give you everything you desired.” Your heart was sure to thump its way out of your chest, you couldn’t believe this was happening to you. Before you could think of a response, he continued, “There’s something different about you, you’re not like other people, you’re special. You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen, the best woman a man could wish for and I deserve nothing but the best. I will settle for no one else.”

Your cheeks flushed as he spoke, he was so passionate about this, about you. His words were genuine and you couldn’t deny the warm feeling you felt in your stomach from the way he spoke so fiercely about you. Your brain was unable to form a competent reply and so in the heat of the moment, spurred on by his declaration of affection, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. Your kiss was soft and gentle, your hand lightly pressed on his broad chest. You slowly pulled away, eyes opening to watch out for Dandy’s response wondering if you had made the worst mistake of your life. You couldn’t help it though. In all your years, you’d never heard someone, much less a handsome man, talk about you with such desire, such passion. You couldn’t deny, it moved you and you felt like he deserved some kind of reward for that at least. Dandy seemed to be frozen until his eyes slowly opened, his brown hues alight with a deep fire. Your mouth opened with the intention of asking if he was alright but you were interrupted by his hands cupping the sides of your face, pulling you towards him for a much deeper kiss, his tongue seeking out yours for a battle of dominance. Obviously, he won and as much as you’d refuse to admit it, he was a very good kisser. His lips were soft and his clean shaven face meant there wasn’t any stubble scratching against your chin. Before you could stop it, a soft moan left your mouth. Dandy halted for a moment before he started moving closer towards you, making you move backwards until your legs unexpectedly hit the back of his large bed. You fell back and Dandy was quick to move atop of you, one hand laid next to your head, the other still cupped your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing over your face, “Such beauty. And it’s all mine.”

“Dandy wait I-” a breathy gasp escaped you, cutting off your sentence as the man in question had started kissing down the side of your neck. It felt nice, really nice actually, and your hands hesitantly placed themselves on Dandy’s shoulders, feeling the hard muscle underneath his buttoned shirt. You felt his hands wriggling underneath your back to pull at the strings of your corset and with each tug of his hand, the fabric became looser around your torso. Without thinking, or perhaps you knew what you were doing but didn’t want to admit it, you arched your back to give his hands the access they needed to compete the task easier. This meant your breasts had lifted towards Dandy’s face which he seemed only too happy about as you felt his hands move faster as they got closer to the top. You felt relief as the corset was fully loosened, until Dandy’s hands pulled the dress down from the waist to bunch the fabric up around your hips. Your torso was now fully exposed.

Your face turned red and your hands immediately covered your breasts, “Dandy!” Said man made quick work of grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand, enjoying watching you squirm to try to pull yourself from his grip. His strength impressed and terrified you at the same time as he made holding you down seem easy. His free hand slowly cupped your breast and you heard a shuddered gasp leave his lips. “Don’t you ever hide yourself from me, do you understand. You’re my wife now, I am your husband and it’s my right to touch you, to please you. And I will please you.” His words silenced you once more and you could only watch him caress your chest, pressing your lips together to stop any sounds from coming out and encouraging him.

It didn’t take long for his mouth to join in, a muffled moan filling the silence as he sucked on your exposed nipple. Your thighs pressed themselves together as his actions had spread a warm feeling throughout your body, settling in your lower stomach. The more he continued, the more you felt an unfamiliar ache grow between your legs. “We shouldn’t be doing this..” Dandy ran his hands down your sides, his touch being surprisingly gentle as he did so, stopping to grab your hips. “If you don’t want this then push me away.” You glanced down at him and it was at that point you realised he was no longer holding your wrists up and you moved your hands down. Seeing this, Dandy switched sides to attack your other nipple, the sensation forcing a moan out of you. Instinctively, your hand buried itself in the back of his hair. His teeth grazed against it in a soft bite and your reflex had you pulling on Dandy’s hair before you realised what you were doing. Your actions drew a long moan from Dandy and so you curiously pulled again, harder this time.

Dandy rushed to get off the bed, his hands going for your dress as he stood up. He quickly but carefully pulled the dress off you completely to throw to the side, his next target being your stockings and shoes. After removing those from your body, his fingers made quick work of the buttons down his shirt. You felt a little self conscious as his eyes raked over your almost completely naked form as he undressed himself but you remembered his words and didn’t hide yourself this time, not wanting to upset him. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, he shrugged it off and threw it in another direction, making a separate pile for his clothes.

There was no denying that Dandy was conventionally attractive. He was tall, handsome and now you had proof that he was in great shape as well. Had his personality been a little more, stable shall we say, he would’ve been the complete package. Looking at his toned muscles, especially his abs and biceps, had you blushing and you curled your fingers into fists to stop yourself from reaching out and touching him. Dandy saw you checking him out and practically crooned like a bird in mating, flexing for you as you looked over him. A large smirk stretched over his lips as he slowly undid his belt, very much enjoying the way your eyes followed his fingers as he did so.

His impatience outweighed his need to have his ego stroked and he made quick work of stepping out his trousers, kicking his socks and shoes off as he did. Both of you were left in your underwear. Unconsciously, your gaze found its way down to stare at his tight white undies and the bulge sticking out. His movement caught you off guard and you leaned up onto your forearms as Dandy started flexing into poses to show off his body. “What do you think?”

“Um, I think..” He returned to his previous position leaning over you and staring deep into your eyes, waiting for your answer. You decided to be honest with him, “I think you’re very handsome. Much too handsome to be interested in a girl like me.” Your voice was a soft whisper as you spoke. You couldn’t tell if Dandy was confused, angry or speechless, perhaps it was a mix of all three. You were stunned as you saw his eyes watering, why was he crying? His lips curved into an unnerving smile, his hand coming up to pet your hair, “I think I love you (Y/N).” Was there something wrong with your ears or did he really just say that? You barely knew the guy! Sure, you knew each other as kids but that was a long time ago and clearly a lot had changed since then, like Dandy’s psychotic tendencies.

Just as you started your disagreement, you were kissed once more, his mouth swallowing any words you’d planned on saying. His movements were more rushed. Erratic. His hands started grabbing at your skin as if trying to commit every curve to memory. You barely registered Dandy moving himself between your legs. He wouldn’t give you much time to catch your breath before he was back to kissing you, it was turning your brain to mush. A soft touch along the waistline of your panties sent a shiver down your spine. As much as the rational side of you knew that you should’ve shut this down ages ago, a much more curious side of you had taken charge and was allowing Dandy to take control over you. It had felt good so far, it could only get better right?

During your thoughts, Dandy had shuffled his hand into your panties and his middle finger reached down to lightly trace the curve of your lips before pushing down to separate them, exposing your pussy to his eager fingers. His fingertip found your clit pretty easily, applying a gentle pressure before slowly moving around in circular motions. Your body took charge over your conscious and spread your legs a little wider, soft pants leaving your lips as you held onto his shoulders. His mouth had grown bored of your lips and found its way back to your breasts. The combination of teasing to your breasts and clit had you melting into the bedsheet fairly quickly; a lot quicker than you hoped. But you couldn’t help it. You’d touched yourself before but it didn’t feel as good as this, as good as Dandy was making you feel.

Dandy felt on cloud nine. No, higher than that. He had the girl of his dreams in his bed, with his ring on her finger and his hand in her panties. He’d waited too long for you to come around to see him again and he was determined to give you a damned good reason to not want to leave again. Even if you did try to leave, he wouldn’t let you, not now that you were his. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you as his fingers sped up a little. He took in every gasp and moan. He followed the curve of your neck as your head tilted back and traced the swell of your breasts with his eyes. You were perfect, just like he knew you would be.

Your pants grew louder as the warm feeling in your stomach turned into a tingling sensation, your lower half starting to squirm. Dandy didn’t stop, his fingers kept at it, not daring to disrupt as he watched your hands try to grab at the bedsheets before giving up and throwing your arms over your head. A small whine followed by a short cry bubbled in your throat, feeling yourself climax from Dandy’s fingers. You immediately felt too hot and tired, your chest heaving as Dandy moved his fingers down to coat them in your cum. He turned your face with his clean hand to look at him as he brought his other hand up to his mouth. The eye contact had you turning red with embarrassment as you watched him suck your juices from his fingers. “Just as sweet as you, my darling.”

He crawled over you, settling between your legs once more, placing your thighs over his hips. He lowered his crotch, pressing his clothed erection against your wet panties. You pressed your lips together to avoid making any sound, though it did feel good. That was the worst part about this situation. You were enjoying everything he was doing and you felt ashamed at the fact you wanted more. ‘Screw it,’ you thought, cupping his face in your hands to pull him down for another passionate kiss. He let out a whiny moan into your mouth as he started grinding against you. Your hips shifted underneath as that achy feeling had returned tenfold. Dandy’s movements suddenly slowed and now the friction wasn’t enough to get you close but enough to leave you wanting more. A series of whines left your mouth, trying to lift your own hips to set a new pace but the way Dandy was holding you down with his own body made it impossible.

Dandy was thoroughly amused by your impatience and chuckled in your ear, “What’s the matter love?” You huffed and tried again to move your hips, “I-I want more.” Dandy brushed his lips along your neck, his hands moving to your thighs to possessively grab at your skin, red marks being left behind. “More what? I’ll do anything for you darling, but you have to tell me.” You threw your head back in frustration, closing your eyes to avoid his gaze, “I want you to fuck me. Please!” He let out a deep groan into your ear, “Say it again.” His hips jerked against your own with a newfound ferocity and you sighed in relief. Dandy whined, “Say those words again (Y/N)”

“I want you to fuck me!” You didn’t intend to shout it but he was teasing you and it was making you frustrated. Dandy visibly shuddered from your words and in what felt like milliseconds, Dandy had both of your underwear off of you and throw to the side to join the scatters of clothes already littering the floor. You couldn’t help yourself to look at his dick, needing to see what exactly you had just asked for. Not that you had other experiences to compare it to but it certainly looked bigger than you were expecting. Dandy held eye contact with you as he rubbed his cock down between your pussy lips, wanting to watch every moment of this. You started squirming again after a few moments and Dandy was all too happy to pick up the pace, lining himself up. You gasped and your hand reached out to place against his chest, “Wait! I-It’s my first time, be gentle.” Your words only spurred him on more. He got to be the one to deflower you, to be the one and only man to see you like this, to touch you like this. It was almost enough to send him over the edge right then. He grabbed your hand on his chest and lifted it up to press a kiss to your palm, “Of course, princess.”

He pushed forward and almost immediately your back arched at the feeling. It burned but in a good way? It was painful to start but it was slowly filling your ache inside you. He halted in his movements, watching your face twist in agony, his heart caught in his chest. He forced himself to stay still though his body wanted nothing more that to ruin you for other men at that moment. But if he didn’t wait it would ruin the experience between the two of you and he didn’t want that. No, he only wanted to be associated with pleasure. Maybe some pain but not unwanted pain. A few moments went by with Dandy remaining frozen until you experimentally moved your hips. The burning hadn’t gone completely but it had lessened and there was a new feeling building. One that had your toes curling it was so good.

Dandy took your movements as a green light and slowly thrust himself deeper, forcing a moan from you. He was addicted to your sounds, thrusting deeper inside to elicit even more from you. You twisted your head to try to push it into the pillows beneath, your hands grasping handfuls of the covers underneath you. Dandy held the back of your thighs and pushed your legs up, creating a new position that had him angling into you to hit spots you didn’t know existed. A loud cry left you as he went faster, it felt amazing. Your hands come up over your head to grab onto the headboard, feeling like you needed to ground yourself somehow. Dandy’s eyes were glued on you, trying to burn the image of you taking his cock into his brain. You felt so good around him, he wasn’t sure he was going to last very long.

He leaned down whilst still keeping a harsh pace, “Does it feel good (Y/N)? Do you love the way your husband pleasures you?” You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t. Your mind was mush and all you could focus on was the oncoming orgasm you felt approaching. A series of pants and soft moans left you, slowly growing in volume. Dandy fucked you harder, only too eager to help you finish. His own orgasm was fast approaching too and he was quickly won over on the notion of you finishing together. His moans merged with yours and it was difficult to tell who was who as you both came close.

Your stomach moved up and down as you felt yourself right on the edge, when Dandy forced himself deep inside you, pushing you right over. Your legs shook as you came, turning your face to hide it in your arm and muffle the long moan that left your mouth. His own moan echoed in your ear as he leaned over you, your sweaty bodies pressed against each other. You gasped as you felt something warm inside you and it was then your brain unfuzzed itself and the reality of what just happened hit you. Your mouth felt incredibly dry. He had just came inside you without protection. You stayed frozen as he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his head into your neck. He didn’t pull out, apparently content with staying exactly where he was for the time being.

Your hand hesitantly came up to stroke his dark hair and a pleased sigh filled your ears. Dandy hummed, “I love you (Y/N), my dear wife.” You mentally groaned and slammed your head into the pillow. You sighed, you know what? You were exhausted, you could deal with all of this after you’d had some sleep. You made a move to roll out from underneath him but Dandy had seemingly already fallen asleep on top of you. You groaned, what exactly had you just gotten yourself into? Dandy’s arms wrapped tighter around you, holding you closer and a soft mumble of “mine” was barely heard in the silence. The hand in his hair, you gently ran your fingers through it, looking around the room. Okay, maybe it wasn’t completely horrible but certainly not where you expected it to end up. You looked down again at the ring on your finger, would this really be so bad?

[nataliawrites]

Crowning Glory // Max Verstappen

Max Verstappen x Princess of the Netherlands!Reader

Max prided himself on his control. His job depended on it. His life depended on it.

Even when he briefly lost control — and he really doesn’t regret the infamous pushing incident — it was always of his own doing.

Until you came into his life.

A knock on the door to his driver’s room started Max. It was race day and it was rare for him to be bothered when he was preparing on his own. A home race meant that everything was heightened. The adrenaline thrummed deeper. The cheers were louder. The Orange Army was nearly blinding in the stands.

“Max,” the familiar voice of his team principal filtered through the door after another knock, “I have someone who would like to meet you.”

“Can’t we do this later, Christian? I know you know my routine by now.”

“Just open the door. I think you’ll be happy to change up your routine this once.”

Max heaved himself off of the small couch and went to send the Brit and whatever guest he brought along away so he could continue to focus on the race in peace.

He opened the door, prepared to shut it in a second, but stopped short when he saw who was standing next to Christian. The guest in question was wearing an elegant summer dress in a bright shade of orange sure to be similarly reflected upon thousands of Dutch fans around the track.

She was also the subject of his long running teenage crush. A crush he thought he had gotten over until he was staring open-mouthed at her right in front of him.

“Hallo,” she takes the initiative to greet Max considering he was still making somewhat of a fool of himself in front of her, “it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Max bends into a hasty bow, unsure of the protocols for meeting someone he had only ever seen on the news and the pages of magazines, “Your Royal Highness, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m the one intruding on your preparations,” she waves his apology off. “I just wanted to stop by and wish you luck before the race. It is my first time attending a Grand Prix in-person but my family and I have been fans for a long time and started following your career when news of an incredibly promising young driver racing under the Dutch flag first made its rounds.”

“I-thank you, Your Highness. I am honored.”

“Well, I will leave you to continue getting ready. Mr. Horner promised me a tour of the garage. Good luck again, you do your country proud.”

Max remained frozen in the doorway, watching the heir apparent walk away with the Red Bull team principal, bodyguards seemingly materializing from the walls to surround her as they made their way into a public area of the F1 Holzhaus.

Max managed to get you out of his head once the race began. The second he got into the car, nothing else mattered. Everything beyond the track ceased to exist as he pushed the car to its limit and passed the chequered flag for yet another home win.

But when it came time for the podium ceremony, there you were front and center, ready to present trophies to the three drivers. Max swore he could feel a spark travel up his arm as your fingers brushed his while handing him the trophy. “Well done! Tonight we celebrate.”

Turns out the celebration was a far cry from the ones he was used to. Instead of a club, Red Bull team members were invited to join you at a nearby royal residence for dinner and drinks. Max listened to you explain why from his seat next to you at the long dining table as you waited for the first course to be served, pleasantly warm from champagne already, “I used to love going out. Tried to have a typical university experience, you know? But I was almost kidnapped last year and despite security stepping in on time I have been forbidden from doing so again. Too much risk.”

And there it was. The reminder of just how different your lives wore despite both being Dutch public figures. One day Max will retire and can live a relatively normal life if he so chooses while you will ascend to the throne and lead a kingdom.

He didn’t exactly pity you — royalty was royalty at the end of the day — but he did sympathize with the constraints that it placed on you and how you lived your life.

Max clears his throat, “I’m not exactly sure how this whole thing works but I would love to take you out.”

He waits for a response and nervously cards his fingers through his hair when he doesn’t get one, “only if you want, of course, Your Highness. I have a sailing boat on the coast not too far from here. It’s not a yacht, though you are welcome to join me on that too if you are ever in Monaco, but I promise that it is peaceful and private. I just thought you would like to get away from all this,” he gestures around the room of mingling Red Bull staff and dignitaries, “for a little.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hhmm?”

You ask again, “are you sure?”

“Sure about what? That I would like to take you on a date? Quite sure.”

“Any privacy we have won’t last long.”

“I know.”

“The press can be brutal.”

“So I’ve learned. I don’t particularly care.”

“There are rules …”

“I will learn them.”

“Okay,” you finally allow a shy smile.

“Okay?”

“Yes, Max. I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But if we are to date you have to call me Y/N.”

“Gladly … Y/N,” he tests out how your name feels on his lips for the first time.

“Oh and you will have to meet my parents.”

That gives him pause. “Your parents?”

“Yes.”

“As in the King and Queen.”

“Yes.”

“I have to meet the King and Queen?”

“It’s all still a bit old fashioned, I’m afraid. We will need their approval.”

You’re quick to reassure him when you see how quickly the color drains from his face, “my father is a big Ferrari fan but he has a soft spot for you. You need not worry.”

“Your father is the King.”

��Yes.”

“My King.”

“Yes. And he’s my father. You’ll have to get used to it if you see us going anywhere.”

“Right. Of course …” A few seconds pass. “But he’s the King.”

You pat his hand where it’s splayed on the table, “you’ll be fine.”

[digitaldiarystuff]

FRIENDS?

Hello everyone, this is my digital diary which I’ll pour what’s in my head. Hope you enjoy my writing and feel free to reach out to me!

— — — —

summary: you’ve met Jude through your close friend which put you in the same friend group but even though you’ve fancied him from the jump you’re also scared because you know how footballers can be

pairing: Y/N - Jude Bellingham

genre: angst / fluff

— — — —

“Are you done putting the decorations up?” your friend Chris asked. This was his christmas party and you were helping him add the finishing touches.

“Yeah I’m almost done. Don’t worry it’s going to be great.” you said reassuringly.

“I know but this is my first christmas in Madrid and I want everything to be perfect.” he said coming to the living room to see the final product.

You have known Chris since you were in high school, your parents knew each other and you were cordial until the end of high school when you both decided to move to a bigger city. You, for education and him to pursue his music career which has been great so far. He had put out 2 albums in 2 years and had big success.

When you were new to the city, you two bonded over the loneliness you sometimes felt and that prompted your close friendship. Even as he gained followers and became famous, he made sure you were with him. He invited you to events, referred to you as a sister in interviews.

“It’s going to be amazing!” you exclaimed as the doorbell rang. He went to open the door welcoming his friends which consisted of some influencers, producers and even one or two footballers who listened to him and invited him to games.

You hugged them as everyone was coming in and complimenting the party and you. Being one of the few people who wasn’t a celebrity, you’ve put a lot of effort into your appearance tonight. You wanted to look good.

“Hello, darling.” you heard someone say and you absolutely knew who he was. It was Jude freaking Bellingham. You’ve met Jude through Chris as well and you’ve formed a semi close friendship over the last couple months, though you couldn’t help but develop a massive crush on the guy from the day you’ve seen him. He was everything you’d wanted, handsome, nice, sassy, tall and funny but you always remained cool. Even though you sometimes felt his eyes on you for too long or his hand on the small of your back, you knew how they were and you couldn’t blame him. He’s in his prime and playing for one of the most prestigious clubs in the world, he could get anyone he wanted and you reminded yourself that a couple of times a day just to get him out of your mind.

“Hi Jude!” you said and hugged him.

“You look incredible.” he said while his nose was in your hair, the hug lasted an eternity before you decided to pull back.

“Thank you, you look great too.” you said slightly blushing. He had this kind of effect on you, he said things that wouldn’t normally make you feel things like this. He really looked amazing, though. He was wearing a black button up shirt since this was a special occasion but you knew whatever he was wearing didn’t matter he just was devastatingly handsome.

“Okay, let’s get this party started!” Chris yelled as everyone around you cheered including Jude.

It had been a couple of hours into the party and everyone was pretty wasted at this point. You were also a little dizzy but not too bad. It was going great with games and traditions and right now you were sitting on the couch between Chris and Sofie, one of your friends and playing cards when your eyes caught Jude’s. He was out by the pool and drinking alone, deep in thoughts.

You excused yourself and went over to him. He didn’t notice you until you were just in front of him.

“Don’t party this much, you might regret it tomorrow.” you said in a teasing voice.

“How can I enjoy myself if you’re far from me?” he asked in the same tone.

“I-you could’ve come to me.” you mumbled in a newly found confidence. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that last glass of champagne.

“You wanna sit?” he asked as he slides on the sunbed. You carefully sat next to him hoping you weren’t in his space much but on the contrary, Jude felt like you were too far away and gently placed his hand on your waist pulling you closer.

“This is better.” he mumbled, clearly more intoxicated than you’ve ever seen him. He was always a flirty person with you but this was next level.

“What were you thinking?” you asked suddenly remembering seeing him sitting alone silently.

“I wasn’t thinking of anything.” he answered but you just raised your brow.

“What? I wasn’t!” he said like a kid that’s been caught.

“I know you better than that Bellingham.” you said.

“Well, if you really know me, you tell me what I was thinking.”

“That’s not how this works!” you exclaimed laughing. He joined after hearing you.

“I was thinking about you.”

“What were you thinking about me?”

“I was thinking” he trailed off. You decided to wait and not pester him.

“…about you.” he confessed and looked up to your eyes staring intensely. It’s like he was trying to read your thoughts about his confession.

“Jude” you said, sighing. You wanted to believe his words so bad but seeing every footballer you know being a player, you found it hard to believe.

“Y/N” he said in the same tone, trying to get your attention to him.

“It’s true, I was thinking of you.” he tried again.

“You’re just drunk.” you chuckled slightly trying to lift the mood. You were in denial, hoping he would just stop this before you say how you feel about him embarrassing yourself because you were too close to saying how you always think about him as well.

“I am.” he accepted. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

You gulped and your eyes closed for a second before you opened them again and saw him even closer than before. Your eyes shifted to his lips and he watched your every move carefully. Just as he was leaning in, one of your drunken friends yelled out to you stating she was going home before being sick. You turned to her immediately afraid that she’d realize what’s going on but she was too wasted to even see anything. You got up and went to her without even glancing at Jude embarrassed about being this afraid. It wasn’t like you haven’t thought about kissing him, it was just you knew he was drunk and didn’t want to be just someone for him to spend the night with and leave without caring.

One by one, everyone started leaving. It was just Chris, his situationship, you, 2 of his friends and Jude. The night had slowed down and you were just on the couch talking about life until Chris took his lady’s hand and took her upstairs before telling you to crash wherever you want to.

You started cleaning up before going up to the guest bedroom that was designated for you. You took a trash bag from the kitchen trying to empty plates until you felt another presence in there with you. It was Jude.

“Did they leave?” you asked, trying to make conversation. You were still pretty nervous about your moment out by the pool.

“Yeah.” he said shortly. Just as he was bringing the glasses on the counter he stumbled and nearly broke them before pulling himself together.

“You’re barely walking straight, just stop Jude.” you said laughing.

“No, I’m not!” he said offended.

“C’mon.” you said taking his hand in yours to help him balance, taking him to the guest bedroom. He drove there and there’s no way you were letting the starboy of football drunk drive on christmas.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked like a child.

“The guest bedroom, you need to sleep.”

He didn’t protest, just followed you but held your hand harder. Just then you realized how you were holding hands but didn’t want to make it awkward and pull your hand back.

You entered the room followed by Jude and sat him on the bed. He still didn’t let go of your hand. You tried pulling back but he didn’t let you.

“Jude, you need to rest.” you said smiling softly.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I’m going downstairs to clean up a little and rest too.” you explained.

“Where?”

You actually now realized this is the only spare bedroom in Chris’ home.

“On the couch.” you said sounding more like a question.

“No you’re not.” he said making you sit down with him.

“Yes I am, we can’t fit in one bed.” you said terrified about the possibility of sleeping next to Jude. You already knew you couldn’t even relax just hold your breath the entire night.

“Are you calling me fat?” he asked, smiling.

“No, I’m calling you big.”

“I heard girls like that.” he smugly said. Of course girls liked it, especially me.

“Well, some girls do.”

“And you don’t?” he asked curiously.

“Jude, you’re wasted. Just sleep.” you said trying to change the subject.

“I’m not even tipsy Y/N. I’ve only had 2 beers.” he said like it was obvious.

“What-Well you looked drunk.” you said shocked.

“That was the only way to get you to pay attention to me. Look, you’re taking care of me.” he said motioning your intertwined hands.

“Well, that’s what friends are for.” you said looking down.

“Yeah, friends do that. But we’re not friends.” he said before leaning in and capturing your lips with his and kissing you softly.

[comfort-person]

Draco Malfoy headcanons‼️

Disclaimer: have this for now as I’m on holiday rn and can’t write 😭 but I’ll write more headcanons if y’all want them. Send in requests all you like. I’m also working on lots of requests too. Tysm (:

Oh and if you want NSFW headcanons then just lmk!

• Draco isn’t good with his words, he can’t ever express how he is feeling and so sometimes it seems as if he doesn’t love you and it frightens you but he always reassures you by putting love letters underneath your pillow in the mornings whilst you’re asleep as he knows it’ll always put a smile on your face.

• he isn’t big on physical touch but as soon as you’re both out in public he becomes completely attached to you, hand around your waist, shoulders, resting against you, holding your hand- anything and everything because he wants everyone and anyone to know that you are his.

• gets you a snake pendant and also lets you wear his ring to feel closer to him. But if you’re in another house other than Slytherin he’d get you a necklace with your houses animal on it.

• always ruffles your hair to annoy you, and you ruffle his back but he loves it.

• when he gets the dark mark you’re the first person he tells and first person he goes to- seeking comfort from you as he’s utterly terrified.

• he isn’t good with homework, he doesn’t like it one bit, but he’ll always help you out with your homework even if he ultimately fails.

• constant kisses on the cheek and forehead.

•he likes to trail his fingertip over your skin and watch how you smile, sometimes you trail against his lips and he playfully pretends to bite your finger. He allows you to see another side to him.

• always there to support you no matter what.

• sometimes he’s very defiant and agitated and even you can’t calm him down and he says things he doesn’t intend on saying/ things he didn’t mean to say and he apologises every time with a trip to hogsmeade to get some butter beer

• if someone ever hurts your feelings he’s immediately in their face making them regret hurting you.

• loves to skip classes with you

• holds hands with you constantly.

• he can’t ever take his eyes off of you, always admiring you. Always. You mean a lot to him in many many ways and the best way I can describe it is if you’ve seen the movie inside out and the emotions and those islands that have core memories stored inside of them… yeah… well you have an island in Dracos core memories. You’re ultimately his safe place<3

• he loves that you know him well, you know when he’s unhappy like he knows when you’re unhappy. But you always press him to tell you what’s the matter and he ultimately opens up.

• very very cuddly. His hair is fluffy and soft

• one of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze in the astronomy tower. He often takes you on dates up there so the two of you don’t get disturbed.

• when kissing you he holds your jaw with one hand yet his touch is oh so tender and gentle as if frightened he was going to break you.

[daleyeahson]

Girl on Film | Perv!Eddie Munson x Best Friend Reader: Part 3

Summary: After days of not seeing or hearing anything from Eddie, you finally snap. When you confront him about your feelings, it’s not exactly what he had hoped to hear.

Warnings: angst, cursing, I’m just gonna go ahead and say 18+ minors dni mainly bc of what has happened before and that stuff gets briefly mentioned in here so… yeah lol

Word count: 2.9k

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A/n: I’m sorry this took a little longer than expected to get released! I’ve been a little busy and tbh at first I didn’t know where I wanted this story to go so that also slowed the whole process lol thank you guys for your continued love and support! You have no idea how much it truly means to me.. Enjoy! x

It’s Monday morning and Eddie slowly stirs awake. Stretching as much as he could, he turns his head over to look at the alarm clock. 6:45am. He then turns his head to the opposite side only to be met with the sight of your naked body. Your back facing him and the sheets covering just the lower half of you. Panic sets in before he has a chance to really take in the view. He starts to freak out as his questions from last night enter his mind once again.

He tries to convince himself that he’s just overreacting and that you must’ve genuinely felt the same way he did, right? If you didn’t, why would you do all of that with him? Why would you play along with the whole camcorder situation? He began to think that maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing for you. That maybe you just wanted to have fun with this and not get romantically involved. He also thought of how maybe you’d wake up and regret this whole weekend and then things would be forever changed between the two of you.

With every question of “what if?” or “why?” that crossed his mind, he knew one thing for sure. He did not want to stick around and find out. He couldn’t handle the possibility of rejection or the idea of losing you as his best friend. He needed to think things over before diving into that conversation with you. So, without a moments notice, Eddie does what he does best. He runs.

Or at least he tries too. He gently gets out of the bed, trying his best not to wake you and rushes to go take a quick shower. While he’s in the bathroom, you wake up to the sound of the water running. Still a little bit groggy, you slip on another oversized t-shirt since the one you had on yesterday was now torn in two thanks to a certain someone. You decided against wearing pants, not having the energy this morning to deal with putting them on. Plus, at this point, Eddie has seen you in a lot less, so you figured he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

You make your way to the kitchen in desperate need of something to drink. You pour yourself a glass of water and casually sip on it while having your back leaned against the counter. You hear the shower turn off and soon afterwards, the bathroom door opens. In such a hurry to leave, Eddie doesn’t even notice that you’re standing in the kitchen.

“Mornin’ Eddie, sleep well?”

“Jesus Christ!” He jumps at the sound of your voice. “I didn’t know you were awake,” he gives a nervous chuckle, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I haven’t been up for long.. What’s got you up and ready to go out the door so early?”

“Uh…” Eddie pauses for a second, trying to find what to say. He doesn’t want to bring up the real reason he’s leaving, so he says the next thing that comes to mind. “School! Gotta head off the school, ya know, don’t wanna be late.”

You look at him and say with a raised eyebrow, “Since when did you, Eddie Munson, care about going to school, let alone getting there on time?”

He smiles softly at your comment, knowing that you had a good point.

“I figured dealing with the third go around of this shit, I might actually want to try for once before I end up graduating with Henderson’s class.”

You laugh. You know you’d never let that happen, but it was funny to picture him and Dustin posing for a photo together with their cap and gowns on holding their diplomas.

“Well before you go, do you want some breakfast? I can fix you something real quick. I know the stuff they serve in the cafeteria isn’t the best.”

Growing more anxious the longer he stands there, Eddie shakes his head, “N-no thanks. As much as I would love to, I don’t have the time. Still have to run home and change out of this,” he gestures to his sweats, “and you know how long it takes to get my whole get up on. At this rate, I’ll be lucky if I get there before the first bell rings.”

You try not to show a look of disappointment on your face. You wished he would stay a little longer, but you understood his reasons. If you were in his shoes, you’d want to do everything possible to make sure you didn’t have to repeat your senior year again too.

“Oh, well, I’ve got to start getting ready for work in a few anyway, so no biggie. Give me a call though afterwards, yeah? I’ll be back home this evening, probably around six.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just gives you a slight nod and walks out the door. Driving off in his van, he makes his way back home. Once there, he heads to his room and spots the camcorder still sitting in the same spot he left it. He really did plan on going to school, but after seeing that and being reminded once again how all of this got started, he decided to stay home. There was no way he could focus on any of his classes after that.

You started getting ready for work not long after Eddie left. Taking a quick shower yourself and changing into your uniform. You pulled your hair back to keep it out of your face and applied a light, natural makeup look. You weren’t one to really wear makeup to begin with, but being a waitress, it seemed to help get you better tips so you didn’t mind having to wear it while you were at work.

You worked at a small diner right on the edge of town, only a 15 minute drive from your place. It wasn’t the best job, but it paid the bills. It’s not like you didn’t enjoy it, you loved your coworkers and got along well with the regulars you had, but being on your feet for hours on end for most days of the week was exhausting.

Your work day was the same as always. A group of older gentlemen would always come in early for some breakfast which usually consisted of biscuits and gravy all while talking for hours, getting refill after refill of coffee. You gained a few more customers when lunch rush hit, but things never picked up until it came closer to dinner time. You’d always get busy around then, mainly having truckers stop by for a good hot meal after being on the road all day. You didn’t mind though, you loved hearing the stories they’d tell about the places they’ve been and things they’ve seen. It always helped make the work day go by a little faster.

When your shift came to an end, you made your way back home. Feet aching from the day, all you wanted was to get out of these clothes and go to bed. You didn’t even think about the fact that Eddie said he would call. All that was on your mind now was getting some much needed rest.

When Tuesday had came and gone and still no word from him, you started to wonder why Eddie hasn’t been back over or called. You didn’t really pay much mind to it, thinking he must’ve been exhausted like you were last night after playing his gig at the Hideout with the Corroded Coffin boys.

Wednesday was a different story though. That evening, you made your way over to Family Video to pick out movies for the sleepover this weekend. It was supposed to be at Eddie’s place this time, but after not hearing from him for days, you weren’t sure if he even wanted to have it. You walk in and was greeted by Robin who stood at the front counter.

“Hey, y/n! Picking out more movies for you and Eddie this weekend?”

“Yeah,” you say in an unsure tone, “I guess I am.”

“You guess? What’s that supposed to mean?”

You sigh and start to explain everything to her. Just the part of not hearing from Eddie in a while, she didn’t need to know the rest and you still hadn’t even talked about it with Eddie himself. It would feel wrong to discuss those things with another person before him, even if Robin was one of your closest friends.

“It’s just, I don’t know. I’m not sure if he wants to have the sleepover this weekend. After he left my place Monday morning for school, I haven’t heard from him since. I figured maybe he was tired from his gig last night, but I still haven’t heard anything from him today either. It’s just weird not seeing or hearing from him, ya know? He’s never done this before.”

“Wait, you said he left Monday morning for school?” She asks and you give her a nod. “Eddie wasn’t at school Monday. Like at all.”

“What?” You looked at her with confusion written all over your face.

Not at school? What does she mean not at school? Why would he say that’s why he had to leave your place so early and then not go? Maybe he was late getting there and she just didn’t see him.

Robin went on to explain, “Yeah. He borrowed my biology notes and was supposed to give them back to me at lunch, but he wasn’t there. I asked the guys at the Hellfire table if they’d seen him but they said he never showed up that morning.”

What the hell? Why didn’t he go? More importantly, why did he lie to you about going in the first place? Your blood started to boil at the thought of him lying to you. You had been friends forever, why would he feel the need to lie? You explained to Robin that you had to go, not getting the movies you had planned on picking up. You needed to get home to think about some things. What the fuck was Eddie’s problem?

Thursday evening rolled around and still no word. You finally decided to give him a call instead of waiting for him. You knew he should be home from school right now, if he even went this time, and he didn’t have band practice or anything like that. You reach for the phone and dial his number. After a few rings, a mans voice spoke on the line.

“Hello?” Wayne. You didn’t think he’d be home right now. He must’ve been getting ready to leave for work when you called.

“Hey, Uncle Wayne, is Eddie around?” You ask.

Wayne looks over at Eddie standing in the living room, signaling for him to say that he wasn’t there and couldn’t talk.

Wayne sighs before answering, “No, I’m sorry, sweetheart. He’s not here at the moment. I could take a message for him if you’d like though.”

There it was, another lie. Now he’s even getting other people to do it for him? Unbelievable.

“Just tell him to give me a call when he gets a chance, okay?” You tried to not sound frustrated, but Wayne could tell you were upset.

“Will do.” He hangs up the phone and looks up at Eddie once again.

“Boy, I don’t know what the hell is going on between you two, but whatever it is, not talking to her about it isn’t going to solve the problem.”

Eddie looks down at his feet, embarrassed that Wayne is lecturing him over something that he should’ve already taken care of.

“I know, Wayne, it’s just..” he tries to think of the best way to explain this to his uncle without having to go further into detail about it all, “things are just a bit..complicated right now, okay? I promise I’ll talk to her soon. I just need some time to think about things.”

Wayne takes the hint that Eddie doesn’t want to get into the subject of what’s going on and gives him a sympathetic look. Not really knowing what it was that was making things complicated between you both, but knew whatever it may be was causing his boy to be in misery.

Grabbing his jacket and getting ready to head out the door, he turns and with a sigh he says to Eddie, “Well, whatever it is, you guys have been friends all your lives. You’ll be able to get through it, okay? Don’t sweat it, kid.”

And with that he heads out the door, leaving Eddie to stew in his own thoughts about everything.

You on the other hand, were pissed. Outraged. Angry.

How could he lie to you like that? Why would he even do such a thing? And then ignore your call when you finally reach out to him?

No, you weren’t gonna have it. Eddie was going to talk to you face to face about this whether he liked it or not. It was something that needed to be done, and you knew exactly when to do it.

It was finally Friday, you had just finished your shift at work and was heading home to change and shower. Eddie was making his way over to the high school to start setting up for his Hellfire campaign. You knew if he wasn’t going to come to you and talk about things, you’d have to go to him. And that’s exactly what you planned on doing. You knew he wouldn’t miss a Hellfire meeting no matter what, so he would definitely be there. He wouldn’t be able to hide from you no longer.

You arrived at the high school and made your way to the room where the boys would be at. As you got closer to the door, you could hear them screaming at one another. Most likely over something that just happened during the campaign. You then heard a familiar sound. One that usually filled you with joy, but this time it just made you fill up with more rage than you already had.

Eddie’s laugh.

It pissed you off to no end hearing it. Hearing him having a good time, as if nothing was wrong. As if he hasn’t been avoiding you like the plague all week.

Without any hesitation, you burst through the door. The room falls silent as everyone looks over to see who interrupted them in the middle of their campaign. When Eddie’s eyes finally met yours, he could see how upset you were.

“Oh shit.”, He whispers to himself.

You march your way over where he was, sat on his throne, and you point your finger at his face.

“Where the hell have you been? Hm?”

Before Eddie has a chance to say anything, you continue on with your rant.

“All week! You haven’t called or stopped by to see me all fucking week! You never do that. Ever. We have been best friends forever and now suddenly, without warning you decide to just disappear? What the hell is your problem? Why have you been ignoring me?”

Eddie sat there, speechless and paralyzed from shock. He wasn’t expecting you to just show up randomly. He thought he would have more time to think over things before talking to you. He also didn’t expect to be having this conversation in front of the entire Hellfire Club, either.

“Say something!” You yell at him. Still, Eddie can’t find the words. Mouth moving as if he wants to say something but nothing comes out. You were mad before, but now standing here having him just stare at you not saying a word, it sends you over the edge.

“Fuck you, Eddie.” You spewed hatred towards him. “I can not believe after everything you did to me this weekend, you have the fucking audacity to not only ignore me and my calls, but blatantly lie to my face and have Wayne lie for you too. I already know you didn’t go to school Monday, Robin confirmed it for me. I seriously can’t believe you right now!”

You were fuming and after a few seconds of Eddie still not saying a word, you look at him and reach your hand out.

“Give me my key.”

“W-what?” Eddie finally is able to breathe out a word, and of course, it’s not what you wanted to hear.

“You heard me…Give. me. my. key.”

When he doesn’t move to give it, you yell again, still beyond frustrated with him.

“NOW!”

With trembling hands, Eddie reaches for it. He slowly takes the spare key to your apartment off the key ring and places it in your hand. You walk back over to the door, turning to him one last time before you leave.

“Don’t bother calling or coming over anymore. Not until you actually grow the fuck up for once. Until then, I’m done. I don’t need to put up with you and all of your bullshit, especially not after what happened.”

You slam the door shut, leaving the boys there in silence. Walking back out of the school, you feel hot tears running down your face. In this moment, you could care less. You just wanted to go home and forget about everything that has happened this past week.

Eddie is left sitting there, staring at the door trying to hold back the tears in his eyes that are fighting to spill over the edge. Gareth is the first one to break the silence.

“Dude, I don’t know what you did” he says looking away from the door and back over to Eddie, “but whatever it was, you really fucked up.”

Still not saying a word, Eddie thought to himself.

He really did fuck up this time.

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You're The Only Girl for Me - Chapter 9

yes, i did post this already, but I wasn't happy with it so.... 🤷🏽‍♀️

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

Trigger Warning: mentions of domestic violence

All OC Characters belong to me

Series Masterlist

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DECEMBER 28th 2020 - Pensacola FL

Whatchu’  wearin?” Josh asked as he and Airielle were talking on the phone. She looked down at her white long sleeve shirt and jeans and rolled her eyes. “I’m wearing lingerie at the supermarket.” He had flown to Georgia the day after Christmas to spend the rest of the week with his kids. She had thoughts about him and his ex-wife, but she had to remember that she and Josh weren’t technically together, they had gone on a couple of dates but they weren’t exclusive. He was technically a free man and could do what he wanted to.  

“Shit, bet the bag boys are loving that.” She laughed loudly at that, causing people to stare at her. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Awe, You miss me?.” She asked teasingly. 

“Mmhmm.” He hummed. “You know I do.” He paused, “ I told my sons I was seeing someone.” That stopped her. 

“You did?” She asked, surprised. She didn’t know why she was surprised. They had met each other's family already. 

“Yeah, they old enough to understand why me and they mom not together. They want to meet you.” Airielle almost hung the phone up on him and blocked his number. “You still there?” He asked after she didn’t say anything for a full minute. 

“Yeah,” She breathed out. “I would love to meet your kids.” 

AIRIELLEJONES

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“Wait, he said his kids want to meet you?” Airielle nodded and took a sip of her mimosa. As soon as she got off the phone with Josh, she called her cousins and set up an emergency meeting at their favorite brunch spot. 

“What did you say?” Airielle groaned and put her head in her hands. 

“I lied and said I want to meet them too.” Yasmine and Ashley looked at each other before bursting into laughter. “Shut up.” She said, throwing a piece of toast at each of them. “I panicked. I ain’t know what to say.” Airielle sighed and bit her lip. She was so close to texting Josh and telling him that they were moving too fast. 

Yasmine narrowed her eyes at Airielle. “Don’t you try to run away from that man Airielle.” Airielle opened her mouth but Yas cut her off.  “No, You knew he had kids and you still went on dates with him. Did you think you were never gonna meet them?” Airielle shrugged. 

“I don’t know.” She stressed, throwing her arms up in the air. 

“He ain’t Christopher. And you need to understand that.” Yasmine placed a couple of dollars down on the table before standing up and walking out of the restaurant. 

“She just wants you to be happy, Rih. And from what I seen at Christmas, Josh makes you happy.” Ashley smiled and patted Airielle’s hand before getting up and following Yasmine out of the restaurant. 

“Fuck.” Airielle whispered and placed her head in her hands. 

JANUARY 1st 2021 - Friday Night Smackdown

Josh was pissed. After he talked to Airielle the other day she had went ghost on him… again. All his calls and text messages went unanswered. He had thought about flying back to Pensacola to pop up on her but decided not to.  He was angry as fuck and didn’t want to say something he regretted. 

The first thing Josh did once he stepped foot into Tropicana Field was go search for Airielle. The last time she went ghost on him was because she was feeling him. And now this time he was sure it was because he brought up his kids. 

“Yo, you seen Airielle?” He asked Kayla as he walked over to her. Kayla looked up from her phone and rolled her eyes. 

“No, I haven’t seen your little girlfriend.” Josh rolled his eyes. He didn’t even know why he asked her bitter ass anything. When he tried to walk away she stopped him by grabbing his arm. “Is that all you have to say to me?”  Josh sucked his teeth and pulled his arm free of her grasp. 

“I ain’t got time for this Kayla.” 

“You haven’t said one word to me since September.  Since Airielle got here.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s like you just threw me to the curb for her.” 

“It was never like that with us and you know it Kay. You and I both know we was drinkin’ that night and one thing led to the other.” 

“So you never felt anything for me?” She felt her eyes water. Kayla was beyond embarrassed. 

“Shit, don’t cry aight? I’m sorry if I made you feel that way okay?”  She nodded but a tear still slipped out her eye and down her cheek. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He said and pulled her into a hug. 

Airielle felt horrible about avoiding Josh. She knew her cousin was right about Josh not being anything like Christopher but she couldn’t help it. Christopher had put her through hell for six years. From the verbal abuse to the actual domestic abuse that had landed her in the hospital with a broken nose and two broken ribs. 

After she was finished getting her hair and make-up done she decided to go and find Josh to apologize to him. She walked around the arena, checking catering and Joe’s locker room but not finding him. She turned down the corridor that led to the Gorilla and came to a stop as she saw Kayla and Josh hugging. 

“Oh.” Airielle said, making them both look over at her, her eyes bounced between the two of them before she turned around and started walking the way she came from. 

“Airielle wait.” Josh let go of Kayla and went to chase after Airelle.”Lemme explain -”  She sighed and stopped walking and turned to face him. 

“Josh, it’s cool. You don’t have to explain anything.” She said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s not like we were together anyway.” She shrugged 

“Don’t give me that bullshit Rih. You know damn well you my girl.” 

“How? How was I possibly supposed to know that?” She felt her heart rate increase and her palms start to sweat. 

Josh frowned his face up at her. “Am I trippin? You met my family, I met yours and I told you that my kids know about you. You think I tell my kids about just anybody?”  Airielle crossed her arms and looked away from Josh. I need to get outta here. She thought. All she wanted to do was apologize, not get into a debate on whether they were together or not. 

“I was coming to look for you.” He said, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. “I stopped to ask Kayla if she seen you-” 

“Josh, you don’t have to explain anything to me.” He just blinked at her before continuing. 

“And she said she didn't, so I was gonna go on my way. But she wanted to talk about me and her and I had to tell her there was no me and her. She started to cry so I gave her a hug.” He summarized. 

“Look. I gotta go alright? Gotta see what I have to do tonight.” She removed his hand off her face before walking away.

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

[xkaidaxxxx]

Azula x Female Reader

Mentions: little angst, fluff, Lesbians

Sorry for any errors

Azula x Female Reader

“ No one has ever had to hide the way that we do Azula. I’m afraid they won’t accept us.” You said with tears slipping down your cheeks. “ Just because this stupid and horrible world judges us and says that we can be nothing that won’t stop us. I love you baby girl more than anything. I want you to be happy and enjoy every moment we have together.” Azula said. She wiped your tears. You girls loved each other but loving the same sex was seen as disgusting and almost like it’s forbidden. You and Azula met about 4 years after Zuko became the next Fire Lord. You lived in the palace due to being Mai’s long distant friend. 

How you two met was a bit wild. You were out and about outside the Fire Nation. You decided to travel to Kyoshi Island and visit Ty Lee. Mai said she’d greet you with open arms. Along the way you needed to stop at a Hotel and eventually found one. It was large,beautiful and expensive, it almost looked like a section of the palace.. Perfect for Azula. She knew how to survive. She’s strong, smart, beautiful and wild. On the way inside you bumped into a group of men. They looked very important. “Watch where you are going, you insolent girl.” one of the men said, shoving you away. You landed on your side. You had a bit of a spicy side of yourself. Standing up you turned your water into ice cutting cheek.“ You’re not a gentleman at all you asshole.” Azula walked over. “You’re making a scene outside my Hotel. You stupid guys run along before I kill you myself.” Her face confirmed her words. As she turned to look at you her heart skipped a beat. You were wearing some short tights with a short blue and white skirt over it. Your shirt was white with blue snowflake prints. Your shoes were cute as well. The way you wore your hair showed your wonderful facial features. Azula was checking you out. You cleared your throat. “I’d like a room please.” you also checked her out as you walked behind her into the Hotel. Azula was highly aware of it. She saw the mirror. “ What are you doing traveling alone?” Azula asked, grabbing a key and showing you to your room. “I’m on my way to visit a friend.” you replied feeling a bit lonely. “You sound lonely. I’ll keep you company since midday. I’ll show you around. Come on, pretty lady.” Azula said grabbing you and all day you went around town having fun. You thought you’d stay longer. Longer meaning about 6 months and along the way you fell in love. One day you were at a temple confessing what you were feeling. An old lady overheard you. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of loving someone so dearly and passionately. Don’t ignore your feelings otherwise you’ll regret it later on.” you smiled and ran back to Azula. The sun went down by then. As Azula was about to get ready you walked into her room. “Oh hey y/n. Is everything alright? Do you need something?”She asked and stepped forward as you started crying. You didn’t even know it was happening. This was your chance and you took it. You went up to her tipped toed and gave her a loving kiss. She was shocked at first but relaxed and kissed back. It got heated to the point where she hovered over you on the bed. You blushed. “I love you.” you spoke playing with the necklace you had on. “ I love you too.” Azula replied. 

After that it was history. 

“ If Mai and Zuko reject us..it’s fine but are you sure?” Azula asked. “Yes Azula..I want to live a normal life here without being attacked.” You replied. Azula waited at the balcony as you went to see Zuko and Mai. “ FireLord Zuko. Thank you for making time to see me..I have a request.” You said formally. Zuko stood up and walked over. He smiled and smacked your arm. “y/n. Don’t treat me like we don’t know each other idiot.” He replied. You smiled and giggled with Mai. “Now what’s your request?” he asked. “I would like to live here in the Fire Nation permanently..I swear I won’t cause any trouble and I will use my Water bending only for good like I always have.” you replied playing with your necklace. “Yeah you’re my friend and Mai’s basically sister.” He replied, rubbing your arm. “I want to live with my other half.” you said and Mai squealed. Odd of her to do. “You never told me you had a boyfriend!!” you looked away. “I love that person more than anything..outside..I would like you to meet.” you walked over to the balcony. Azula turned around. She went and kneeled down. “Its an honor to see you FireLord Zuko.” She said, looking at him. It wasn’t Mai she was worried about but her brother. The one she has hurt her entire life. The person she tried to kill. “Get up.” Zuko ordered. She obeyed. “ This is my girlfriend Azula.” You said. You were confused on why Zuko and Mai were upset. “What’s going on?” you asked. “ She’s Zuko’s little sister. Azula. She is a monster. How the hell did you fall in love with someone who has killed people and tried killing her own brother?” Mai said she was upset for sure but she also felt betrayed. “I’ve changed. I love y/n. I am happy with her. After the war it took some time for me to open my eyes and heart but I did. I met y/n only 6 months ago. We want to start a new life here. Please..if you wont accept me..at least allow her to live here peacefully.” Azula said. Her heart was aching on how they reacted but she expected that. How could she not. “ Zuko..Mai, I’m in love with Azula. I want to grow old with her. She’s my life and world. Please consider it.” You cried. They just stood there without saying a word. Azula held you close. She did that because she felt like it would be the last time she’d ever see you before they’d take and lock her up, for all the pain, suffering she committed and war crimes. Zuko saw how much they truly love each other. How you were certain she was the one for you. “Look you know what..We don’t care if you don’t accept our relationship but I love her and we think we start-” You were cut off by Zuko. “You can live here..only in the palace. That way I can keep a close eye on Azula. The world doesn’t need to suffer again. Azula..you are my little sister…so I’m giving you a chance..I don’t trust you yet..You better love Y/n to death. Do not hurt her in any way. If you do, you'll regret it.” He replied walking away getting your room ready. Azula carried you and spun you around. You giggled then kissed her as she set you down. Mai coughed. You two stopped. “Right s-sorry.” Azula said. “You girls will have a room to have fun.” Mai said. You blushed and your cheeks felt hot. “Mai!!” you yelled. Azula looked at her and smirked. You girls couldn’t help but laugh loudly. Zuko heard you all laughing and he smiled. "I'm glad she found someone. Azula you got blessed." He spoke.

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 9

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1.8 K

TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), cyber-bullying/mean comments, SMUTSMUTSMUT (P in V, Fem receiving oral/fingering, hickeys, heavy making out, pet names, protection used!!!), you can not convince me that Chris isn’t a whimperer, self doubt, Not Edited

A/N: I’m sososososo sorry it took so long, I wanted it to be as good as possible. If anything doesn’t make sense, just chalk it up to my virginal status lol.

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

After patching things up with Matt, me and Chris decided to hard launch our relationship. It’s been two months since we went public, and the fans just seem to get more upset about it every day. Yesterday was our ten month anniversary, and the comments on our posts were horrific.

@ sturniolo.police

Do y’all think he just stays so she doesn’t kill herself?

@ Chris-Sturn-girlie

@ Sturniolo.police Probably, she treats her body like a kitchen counter… I would be scared too. I bet that’s the only reason why he even asked her out lol.

It was like watching a car accident, I couldn’t stop scrolling. I knew that it was stupid for me to think that dress was a good idea, but Chris picked it out specifically. The dress was a tight long sleeved crème dress. The issue was that it was fairly short, showing a large portion of my upper thighs. It was the first time since eighth grade that I felt comfortable wearing anything shorter than knee length, and less than 24 hours later I was severely regretting my decision.

“”“”“”“”“”

Now I stand in front of our mirror wondering if I should even go out with them tonight. The boys have a really important colab dinner, and I would hate for it to be ruined by people who don’t know how to be kind on the internet.

I look at myself and see someone I hate. The black short sleeve dress accentuates the jagged scars running across my wrists. I always tried to avoid spots that were hard to hide, but in that moment of desperation I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I’m so caught up in my thoughts, that I don’t even hear the door open.

“Is everything okay?” I look up to see Chris behind me, with his arms wrapped around my waist.

“I um… I don’t think I’m feeling up to going tonight… sorry.” He rests his head on my shoulder gently as he gives me a questioning glance. “I don’t want to ruin dinner, and everyone is already saying stuff about the scars on my legs… and if people find out I tried t-” I cut myself off before I could say the truth.

Chris turns me around quickly, looking deep into my eyes. “I don't give a shit what anyone else has to say, you are perfect for me… just as you are.” I try to protest, but he stops me before I can even get one word out. “But… if you don’t feel like going out tonight, that’s okay. I can tell my brothers to just go without us.”

I can feel my eyes burning, not from sadness or guilt, but from the realization that the man in front of me doesn’t care about anything but me. “You don’t have to miss it because of me, don’t feel like you have to stay home.”

In less than three seconds he’s putting his phone into his pocket. “Don’t be silly, I already texted the guys.” I hear the guys yell a quick goodbye and feel better from downstairs before the door closes and the car drives off. “Now… do you need any help getting out of that dress?” He gives me a quick kiss before turning me around so he can reach my zipper.

As soon as the zipper stops, my dress falls to a puddle on the floor. When I turn around I notice Chris’s eyes fall to the matching green butterfly set I have on.

When Chris finally meets my eyes again, his cheeks are a shade of red that I’ve never seen on him. “Like what you see, pretty boy?” Chris is a sputtering mess, trying to respond. I cut him off by quickly connecting my lips with his. His hands quickly find their way into my hair as he lifts me up by the backs of my legs, carrying me to our shared bed.

This wasn’t the first time me and Chris had ever made out, but something was different about this time. There was a hunger in each of us, that kissing couldn’t satiate.

Chris tossed me gently onto the bed before positioning himself above me and continuing our make out session. His lips slowly traveled down my neck, stopping for short moments, then continuing their assault until they landed on my collar bone. A moan left my mouth, much louder than I meant to, as my back arched off the bed.

“You like that baby?” Chris groaned into my ear.

“mhm…” My brain went blank as he made his way down to the valley of my breasts. “Please…”

“please what, ma?” He looks up to me with a mischievous grin.

“Touch me… please.” I practically whine out, upset that he stopped kissing me. Chris quickly taps my side, signaling me to lift up as he unclasps my bra in one swift movement. My bra is replaced with Chris’s hands before I even register that he removed it. He continues to leave wine colored marks across my breasts, while his hands squeeze in the most beautiful ways.

After what feels like an eternity, i feel Chris's hot breath moving down towards my waistline. He glances up at me quickly before turning his head toward my inner thigh. I feel him lift my leg up, over his shoulder, before he resumes his mission. "Did you know that your legs are my favorite part of your body?"

“no they aren’t.” I accuse with a small giggle. I never realized how ticklish my legs are. He quickly sucks on a spot, that will surely be a dark shade of red tomorrow morning, causing my brain to malfunction.

When he stops, I look down to see him looking at me with his big, blue, puppy dog eyes. He toys with my waistline, before finally opening his mouth. “Is this okay?”

I've never responded quicker, nodding my head aggressively while mumbling out a quick please and thank you. It takes him no time to get my panties off, and onto the floor. “You’re sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”

“yes… just please touch me!” I’m practically begging when he decides to indulge me.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, seeing as I’ve never even ‘helped myself’. Whatever I expected, this was much better. The second he latched his lips onto my clit, I was seeing stars. My whole body felt warm and tingly, and I think I’m close. I quickly intertwine my fingers into Chris’s hair, pulling with the rhythm of his tongue. All of the sudden I feel a long thin finger entering, and I can’t stop the sudden sensation that was building inside me. I couldn’t even get out a full sentence without a loud, almost pornographic moan interrupting me. The second I feel a second finger, I loose all control over my body. My back arches off the bed, as my legs slam shut around Chris’s head. Once I manage to calm myself down, Chris slowly removes his fingers from inside of me.

“Having fun?” I see him wiping his hand against his pant leg, his lips still glistening with me. I don’t think I have the strength to speak, so I simply nod. “Was it… was that okay?” I can see the yearning for approval in his eyes. “… Like, was it good for you?”

I don’t really know how to respond to that question, my brain is stiff fuzzy from my orgasm. “It was amazing baby…” I don’t want this moment to end. “I want to… can we do more… If that’s okay?”

I swear Chris has the condom out in less than three seconds. “Are you sure?” He’s looking at me like he truly doesn’t care what’s in it for him. “We can stop… or do other things, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

I do my best to find his eyes in my dazed state. “I’m sure… if it’s anything like what you just did, I’m not sure I ever want you to stop.” He nods quickly before getting up and stripping.

The second his waistband hits mid thigh, his member is hitting his stomach. It looks painful, so red and hard. I don’t know how it’s going to fit, but I trust him. He slides the condom on, quickly climbing back on top of me.

“Are you sure the at you want this?” This again. “We can stop whenever you want to… and you really don’t have to do any-”

I cut him off quickly by grabbing ahold of him and making sure that he knows that my motives are purely selfish at this point in time. He finally gets the hint and lines himself up.

“fu-ck…” Chris practically whimpers as he pushes into me. I unintentionally clench around him, who knew that a man whimpering was so sexy?

“Babe… you gotta stop squeezing me like that, I won’t last.” I mutter a quick apology, before giving him the go ahead to start moving.

It’s an interesting feeling. It’s not necessarily painful or uncomfortable, just different. It doesn’t take long for the feeling to melt into pleasure though.

The house is filled with sounds of whimpering and moaning, as we reach our highs. Chris reaches down and starts rubbing heavenly circles against my already overstimulated clit, causing my orgasm to crash into me without warning. I swear my vision goes out for a minute while Chris chases his own high.

Chris slowly pulls out, making me cry out in pleasure. “I’m sorry, but I have to get you cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”

The second he leaves it hits me all at once. What if it wasn’t good for him? What if he realizes that he only wanted me for sex, and decides the rest isn’t worth it? What if he-

“Are you okay?” He pulls me from my doom spiral, as he starts cleaning me up. He crawls into the bed next to me, looking deep into my eyes.

“Sorry… my brain is just trying to convince me that you’re going to leave.” I see his eyes soften, as he realizes what I’m saying. “It’s not necessarily like I believe it, I just worry sometime that all of my flaws outweigh the things keeping you here… like what if you leave, or you only stay because you feel like I’ll kill myself if you don’t?” Chris stares at me, looking like he doesn’t fully grasp the concept. “Does that make sense? I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes.”

“Do you really think that I would do that?” The way he asks it makes my heart break.

It’s not like I really think that he would do something like that, but my brain just refuses to let me be happy. “No baby… I just find it so hard to trust anyone who says they care.”

Chris just pulls me into his arms, promising me that he loves me more than words could describe. After a few minutes in his arms we decide to put some clothes on and order some food. After dinner, I drift slowly into a peaceful sleep in his arms.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi @stasiesturn

@h3arts4harry @slutforsturniolos

[silverstonesainz]

regret & whatever love is

of everything said and left unsaid frat!george x reader 2.8k words warnings: toxic relationship ; mentions of alcohol 

d rambles. . . i wrote this in one sitting and i think thats super apparent but YAY, i wrote smth. this is for two requests that i received months ago, so two birds one stone. hope u like this, and as always feedback is always appreciated!!

you find that these days, it’s easier to be further from george than right by him. but that isn’t a truth you could ever cough up to. 

it’s obvious though, you think as you babysit a cup of warm vodka and flat sprite. he’s on the opposite end of the room, laughing at a joke and entertaining people without you. he talks to the whole room like he doesn’t have a care in the world, truly, you’ve never seen him so relaxed. it irritates you to no end, and you almost walk over to watch the tension weave back into his shoulders, watch that stupid smile fall off his lips and remind him that you exist.

you sip on your drink, down the rest of it even if it burns. you excuse yourself from the group, walking back into the kitchen to pour yourself another drink. the kitchen island is a mess of half-empty bottles of soda and even emptier bottle of liquor. there are already three bottles pushed aside, empty, in the first hour of the post-social shenanigans. You reach for the blue bottle of plain new amsterdam vodka, pouring what you can only guess to be three shots worth before adding sprite. it bubbles, fizzes close to the brim, and you watch as the foam subsides before dripping in a little more. the soda does a shit job at masking the putrid taste of liquor, and for once you accept that. 

foot steps move closer into the kitchen, followed by laughter and promises that he’d be right back. you know it’s george, you know by how light his steps are. it’s like he walks on air, floats. you don’t look up from your cup, more interested in the clear mix swirling in your cup. it washes against the stain of your lipstick, and the color doesn’t budge. 

george walks around you, reaches over you, moves about like you’re not even in the room. it hurts. you turn, lean against the edge of the sticky island, bringing the cup to your lips but your eyes trained on the red stain on the dingy tiled floor. the fridge opens and closes, something is poured and another bottle added to the stash of empty ones. then you see a pair of worn brown loafers, the same one he wears when he wants to put effort, but not too much. the leather is begin to peel and you make a mental note to get him new ones. 

“you okay?” george asks. 

you scoff, sipping the drink again before setting it by you, “sure.”

“you wanna talk about it?”

did you? you’d been fighting for so long you aren’t even sure where to begin. honestly, you hoped it would fizzle out like all your other fights have in the past. but fizzling out means someone has to give in, and neither of you are really ready to give up having the upper hand this time around.

maybe to some, the fight was stupid. hell, your girlfriends thought so too. but they only knew of this one instance, and not the three others you’ve made a point to keep hidden. he’s a good guy, it’s an honest mistake, they said. one time is an honest mistake, but catching him talk to his ex four times isn’t. 

“you want to talk about it now?” you ask, eyes wide and disbelief weaved into your features. 

he shrugs, sipping on his cup before placing it on the counter. “yeah. might as well.” 

you scoff again before mocking him. “yeah. might as well.” 

george runs his fingers through his hair, already vexed by a conversation that hasn’t even happened. you bite down on your lip, feeling the tension begin to rise. the air is thick, dense, just like molasses. the tension oozes out into the room, drips slow and thick, sticky and hard to get rid of. the kickback happening in the next room, the messy chorus of conversation and the low hum of music, does little to break it. you shift uncomfortable, foot to foot, not sure if you should speak up first or wait on him to say something.

“i honestly forgot how we got here,” george mumbles, twisting his body in search of his drink. 

“we got here because i caught you talking to sabrina again,” you say, hands coming up behind your neck and fingers reaching into the roots of your hair. you tug softly, let the soft ache distract from the one in your chest. it feel like a ball has grown in your throat when you say her name and remember the circumstances in which you found them. 

to the naked eye, it looked like two friends catching up. but to you, to his girlfriend, you picked up on the glimmer in her eyes as she stared up at him. you notice the subtlety of her body language, how loudly it screamed for your boyfriend. all of her was turned to him, leaned towards him. she looked so comfortable and so did he. he wasn’t antsy, wasn’t looking for an out of the conversation, you bet you weren’t even a thought in his mind even after you had begged him not to talk to her again. 

“you’re still mad about that?” 

you jaw falls open as you stare up at your boyfriend, searching for the joke and the punchline. but his face doesn’t waver that way. instead his brows furrow and his lips pout. both your expressions, though different, ask the same question: you can’t be serious?

“of course i’m fucking mad about it george,” you say through your teeth, “why wouldn’t i be when i asked you not to talk to her anymore.” 

you see a ghost of a smile on his lips, but it’s hidden as he brings his cup up to his mouth. he shakes his head into his drink, exhaling loudly through his nostrils. it’s clear he doesn’t take this as seriously as you do. you watch him drink, the way his adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps whatever is in the red solo cup. you wait even though you want than to push the bottom of the cup up and watch its contents drip onto him. you’d love nothing more than to watch his perfect white t-shirt get stained with alcohol, watch his face contort in anger because then maybe he’s feel just an ounce of what you do. 

“i haven’t talked to her since,” he finally says, crossing his arms. “if it’s any consolation.”

“it’s not. of course it’s not, are you kidding?” you push your fingers through your hair, inhaling sharply. you fill your lungs until it hurts, exhaling loudly before releasing the grip on your locks. “you don’t even care, do you?”

“of course i care—“

“just not enough?”

he presses his lips into a thin line, nostrils flaring. he breathes in through his nose, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to suffocate the irritation rising in his chest. “i fucking care. i just don’t see what the big deal is.” 

“the big deal is, is she’s your ex george. she’s your ex girlfriend who is so clearly still into you. and i’ve asked you not once, but three time to stop entertaining her and you still do!”

“sabrina is not into me.” you shake your head when he says it, speaking over him immediately. “sabrina is definitely into you.” 

george huffs, “so what? you want me to ignore her?” you blink, hard, before nodding your head. your eyes are wide, lips agape, and a crease in your forehead wondering if he’s really asking that ridiculous question. “it’s rude.” he says.

“i could give a shit,” you reply quickly. 

he digs his tongue into his cheek, nodding his head as he looks you up and down. “well i give a shit. i wasn’t raised to be fucking rude to people, and i sure as hell am not gonna start just to appease this delusion you have in your head about me and sab.” 

you freeze, the words render you stiff. your heart falls apart, falls at his feet piece by piece. tears begin to brim at your eyes. you wonder if he regrets it, you can’t tell as he hides behind his cup.

“i should smack the shit out of you,” you whisper, voice quivering. 

george scoffs, unamused, as he empties the cup down his throat. “yeah, maybe.”

tears blur your vision before falling onto your cheek. you have to turn away when you hear another set of footsteps walk into the room. you make quick work to wipe away any evidence of heartbreak, listening to george ask one of his brothers how it’s going. you fumble for your drink, bringing it up immediately to take another gulp of it. you see pierre just above the rim of your cup, his back to you as he talks to george. 

pierre turns to you, smiling, “hey there,” he greats. he extends his arm to you, and you lean into his side for a brief hug. you avoid looking up at him, and when he releases you, you take george’s cup and move to the opposite end of the island. you try to play the doting girlfriend, the girlfriend who knows him so well, well enough to know that his cup is nearly empty. you refill his drink— vodka and mountain dew. you feel george watch you, half paying attention to whatever it is pierre is talking to him about. you don’t meet his gaze, instead reach for the blue labeled bottle of vodka and pour another shot or two in your half empty cup. you take a sip. it tastes terrible. 

you hand george his cup, leaning by him against the counter while he and pierre converse. he doesn’t put his arm around you, or even kisses your forehead like he always does. he just mumbles a thanks and looks at his brother. and though his arm presses against yours, it feels like he’s miles away. you both stand there, even if your hearts had already left the room. you felt empty, a shell of a girl you both loved. 

pierre eventually leaves, returns to the kickback that had picked up since you and george had found yourself stuck in the kitchen with even bigger problems than you led yourself to believe. 

you return to your spot on the kitchen island, back still to him. your elbows rest on the counter, hands supporting your head as you allow yourself to let go of the tension you’d been holding. you cry softly into your palms, letting the tears smudge the makeup around your eyes. you’d look crazy by the end of this, but maybe you always did anyways. george calls your name softly, slightly defeated and maybe even resigned. you wipe your fingers against your eyes, wipe away the tears and the mascara that fell with it. you use every clean bit of finger to wipe your eyes until it no longer leaves streaks of black on your skin. then you turn to george, who looks a little more guilty than moments earlier.

“i’m sorry.” he says. 

“you always protect her,” you stammer softly, “you always find a way to defend her and make me feel fucking crazy george. you always do this.” 

“because you worry yourself over nothing!”

“it’s not nothing!”

alex walks in, and you both have to bit your tongue. he must’ve felt the tension in the room, because he only smiles over at the two of you before grabbing an unopened box of seltzers from the fridge and a stack of unused red cups. 

“we’re uh,” alex clears his throat, “we’re playing rage cage, if you guys want to come.” 

“yeah man,” george’s lips curve up, almost a smile, “we’ll be out in a sec.” 

alex nods before walking out. you wait until his footsteps drown in the music before continuing. 

“it’s not nothing,” you start again, softer this time, “it’s not delusion, even if you want to believe it is. i know she’s into you, a girl always knows.”

“we’ve been broken up for nearly a year,” george is so clearly exasperated, growing tired of the topic. you see it in his green eyes, in the way he presses his lips into a thin line. 

“doesn’t mean she stopped caring about you.” you sniffle. you look up at your boyfriend, who has his gaze cast down at his beat up loafers. he is probably looking at the creases in the leather, the threads holding it together beginning to fray. maybe he’s even acknowledging he needs a new pair. “do you still care about her?”

his body goes rigid. and he opens his lips to give you the answer you want to hear but then he bites down on the words. his head coils back slightly, and his face grimaces because he can't say it. for whatever reason, for every reason, he can’t say that he doesn’t. 

but he should’ve said it. he should’ve been sure, shouldn’t have left a second of space between your question and his answer. 

you whimper, the tears come back. “oh my god,” you whisper. 

you have to walk out of the room, you have to get out of the space and find way to breathe. you can hear george calling behind you, following you with heavier footsteps. no one notices you walkout of the house, but they do notice george. you try to close the door behind you, but he catches it before it can slam shut. he reaches out for you, fingers curling around your arm and pulling you into his chest. you can feel the words vibrate in his chest and into you. i don’t, i don’t, he chants. i’m sorry. i swear i don’t. he holds onto you so tightly, and you find it hard to slip away from him no matter how hard you try. you push and writhe, but george holds on. but you get away, panting and red in the face. 

you stand with a bit of a distance between you two. you find it easier to be further from george than right by him. it’s easier to breathe, easier not to hate him or yourself. distance might make the heart grow fonder but not here. between you and george, distance makes the relationship bearable. but love isn’t supposed to be this way. love should make the distance hurt, it should make standing a foot away from him burn your skin. but to you, a foot of space isn’t enough.

george takes a step forward. you take a step backward.

the words, the tension, the soft admittance that a bit of space might be beneficial for the both of you is stuck in your throat. but the tears, the tears keep falling. they fall and fall and fall, dripping onto your chest. 

the guilt, the regret, is evident in george’s face, even more so now than you had ever seen. “i’m sorry.” he stutters. 

this is the part you’re supposed to say that you know, that it’s okay. but it’s not. it’s not okay. you know he’s sorry, but you also know that nothing about the last fifteen or so minutes is okay. 

“i’m sorry.” he says again. 

“i know.” your voice breaks.

is this even love anymore?

“i’ll— i’ll block sabrina. i won’t speak to her, i’ll be rude to her, fuck whatever it takes. i’m sorry baby, you have to know how sorry i am.”

maybe this is love. a skewed, fucked up version of love that works for you and george. maybe that’s why you hold on, because it works. even if it’s toxic and wrong and goes against every single thing written about love, even if it’s a kind of love that needs the threat of leaving to find a bit of compromise— it works. 

“don’t put me in the position again george.” your voice barely carries above the wind. but george hears it, nods profusely when he does. “please.” 

“i won’t,” he reassures. 

you should’ve said it was over. you shouldn’t have given him another chance, because you’d already given him one too many. and you know what this will all succumb to, you’d been down this road before. maybe you’ll regret this one day, when george will say things he’ll apologize for when its too late, and talk to a girl you’d already begged him not to. one day you’ll regret walking back into his arm and accepting that maybe this is what love ought to be: a lot of heartache and just enough compromise to quell it. 

george holds you so tightly you struggle to breathe. you drown in his scent, in his hold, and in the threat of all this coming back to punch you in the face. you drown in regret and whatever love is supposed to be.

[shuuuuush]

Hello!! I’ve seen your one shots and there absolutely amazing, your very underrated and I love your work. I was wondering if you could do a scenario where the beta squad members reject you and regret it afterwards like maybe you confess your feelings and there having a bad day and maybe reject you or they don’t really pay attention to your confession and you distance yourself and afterwards they regret it and basically apologize just an angst to fluff scenario and you can change it however you want but I would love that, thank you! It’s okay if you don’t wanna do it just don’t stop writing for the beta squad because your work is absolutely amazing!!!

Rejection and Regret [Beta Squad Scenarios]

Warnings: none

A/N: Aww, thank you so much! Sorry it took a while. I was trying to figure out how they might react because honestly, I don't think any of them would take confessions lightly, but I hope you enjoy it!

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You were excited as you had previously planned a fun day to hang out with Niko. Today, at the end of it, you were going to confess your feelings to him.

You drove to his house to pick him up, staying in the car for a bit. You called his phone number,

"Hello?" Niko answered. He sounded a bit confused to receive your call.

"Hi Niko, I'm here at your house to pick you up now." Responding to him with an excited tone, knowing all the things you planned for the both of you would definitely raise his spirits up.

"Oh shoot," Niko sighed. You could hear that he rubbed a hand over his face, "Y/N, I'm so sorry I completely forgot about that."

He forgot?

"Well you can just prepare, no worries I can wait out here!" You hoped, a little disappointment tinging your voice as you tried to stay positive.

"No Y/N, I'm not at my house, I'm not even in England right now. I'm on a plane to America. California to be exact."

Now it was your turn to be shocked, couldn't he have told you this before you made plans?

"California!? Why are you going there?" You were perplexed and hurt at the suddenness of it all.

"I'm filming a video with the guys, for the beta squad channel."

Of course he was.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, we can hang out another time? It's not that important right?" Niko said, you could hear chatter over the phone someone calling out to Niko, probably Kenny. "I have to go, sorry again, see you Y/N." And he hung up the phone.

You blinked in disbelief, and stared at your phone for a solid minute just processing what happened. He was in California filming a video? And he just so happened to forget to let you know about that, on the day you made plans to tell him your feelings.

Clearly it didn't really matter to him, he could've let you know beforehand and you would have understood and changed it to a different day. But this felt like you got stood up on a date, which technically it was.

You were really gutted by his actions, driving home you decided to scrap the idea all together. Maybe he doesn't even like you at all.

A week went by and you didn't call ot text him at all. Others can call it selfish but that hurt you, that day was all planned out and important to you and perhaps the both of you if he did like you back.

You were sitting at your couch, watching TV while wallowing in your own self pity as your friends would call it. Mindlessly scrolling just trying to not let it get to you too much.

Your door bell rang, and you just called out to the door saying it was open. You were expecting one of your friends to come over so you thought it was her.

"Y/N."

You stopped everything you were doing. That was the voice you wished you couldn't hear at the moment. But also the same one you longed to have. Turning around slowly, the same tall figure you loved. Niko.

He stood there, wearing a thick jacket and even had a bag on, you assumed he had just come from the airport. Swiftly walking towards you, a phone in his hand.

"Why weren't you responding to my calls? And why did you just leave your door open like that? You are really an idiot."

You stared up at him, still in shock. Did he really just come straight from the airport to you? And did he say he called you? Everything was spinning right now in your head.

"Y/N? Are you OK?" Niko asked, removing his bag and jacket and coming over to you on the couch and putting a hand on your shoulder.

Then it hit you. Maybe he did care about you? Maybe he was here to tell you? Maybe you would never get another chance again. So you just blurted all your thoughts out without thinking straight.

"Niko, I really like you, okay? That's why I wasn't responding to your calls and texts because I was hurt that you told me you were in a whole different country, when I had this whole day planned out for us and I was gonna confess to you at the end and I thought you didn't like me."

And then he kissed you, with just one kiss, it confirmed to you that he didn't hate you at all. That was all you needed to know.

Pulling away to hold your face in his hands, "Y/N, I'm so sorry I missed that day. I didn't mean to hurt you like that, I hope you can forgive me, because I really like you too."

Sharky wasn't sure how to react when you confessed to him. He was having mixed feelings, honestly. He didn't know whether or not he liked you.

So when he told you he didn't accept your confession right now, he meant that he needed some time to figure out his own feelings for you.

You did end up distancing yourself from him. Yes, you were hurt, but you understood. Especially since you felt like that at the start, but then one kind act from Sharky was all it took to confirm your love for him.

You decided to spend some time with your good old friend, Harry Pinero. He thought you would be up to spend some time together to get your mind off it.

Harry always knew a way to cheer you up, whether that would be food or just some time spilling all the tea to him, and he inhaled all the gossip like air. Harry knew your feelings for Sharky, and he had hoped it would have gone well for you.

But when you told him, Sharky declined and said he had to figure himself out first. He was ready to connect his fist to the Somali's face. You stopped him obviously, but he didn't hide the fact that he was annoyed you two didn't get together. He definitely was your number one shipper of you both.

You were at a party with Harry as he invited you and said it would be good to cool off there, what you didn't know was that he had a plan. He invited Sharky too.

You were standing beside the food table and just enjoying your time there, you almost forgot about being rejected for a moment there.

Until you saw a certain someone walk through the door, the very person you tried to not get upset over, Sharky.

You tried not to let him see you, so you went up to talk to Harry and tell him that you saw Sharky. You didn't see the evil smirk on his face when you looked back at the door.

"Well, Y/N. You could just stay here with good old Harry you know?" He laughed and wrapped one arm around your shoulder, he whispered to you, "Don't worry about it, just calm down and you got this."

You were about to question what he meant by that when suddenly Sharky approached the two of you.

"Uh, hey Harry." He waved at the taller man, and then looked at you, and nodded. "Y/N."

"Hey Sharky. What are you doing here?"

"Actually, I was about to ask the same to you." Sharky replied, "anyways since you're here, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

"Yeah, Sharky, what about?" Harry repeated your question, earning an annoyed look from the both of you. Harry ended up excusing himself from this as he could tell it was a private conversation.

"Well, what did you want to talk abou-"

"I love you, Y/N." Looking earnestly into your eyes, "I figured out that I love you, I actually love you so much I would do anything for you. And I was such an idiot to have rejected you like that."

Your eyes softened as you observed the man in front of you, beating himself up over the fact that he almost lost you. Even thinking that you would fall out of love with him so fast is stupid. You loved him and you always will.

"When I saw you hanging out with Harry the past few days, I won't lie. I was a bit jealous. And I realised it was because I loved you. And I want to be with you, Y/N. If you'll still have me." He looked up at you, a scared hope filling in his eyes.

How could you ever say no to him?

Later, you found out that Harry had called Sharky to attend and talked about both of your feelings, helping him realise that he truly did love you. You definitely owe the old man one.

You were invited to Kenny's family event, and you decided this would be a good time to let him know of your feelings. You felt as if he reciprocated them, so you weren't too anxious to let him know, but still, you were nervous.

After the meal, everyone went to the main room as there was a dance floor and music. Before you headed there, you discreetly pulled him to the side and asked if you could speak to him.

He led you out to a garden place that was quiet and a bit away from all the people.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He asked, curious as to what you wanted to say.

"Ok, well, I've been thinking a lot about this, and I was hoping you feel the same way," looking down to the floor and fiddling with your fingers.

"I really like you, Kenny, and I wanted to ask-"

"No." Came out of his mouth, cutting you off from your sentence. He stood there with an annoyed look on his face, shocking you as you thought he felt the same way.

Did he not like you that way? Or were you just fantasising that he did? So you had to ask.

"What do you mean no??" Pleading with your eyes that you heard it wrong or you misunderstood what he meant.

"No, because I was supposed to tell you my feelings first." He said, shaking his head, but forming a small smile, "I was supposed to ask you out, but here you are beating me to it. I'm just annoyed that I didn't get to say it first."

Scratching the back of his neck with a small pout on his face as you gazed at him. Reassured that it wasn't a rejection, you started to laugh.

His face grew to an even bigger frown at your laughing figure. But then he started to laugh with you.

"Seriously Ken?" Still laughing but calming down a bit. "Ok, I'll let you start this time and confess to me instead." You definitely will remember this moment forever.

A huge smile was put on the man you loved so much. Clearing his throat, he grabbed the nearest flower and held it out towards you.

"Y/N, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

You have never felt happier, and you best believe you told him yes.

This wasn't the best day for Chunkz. Filming fake employee videos was one he hated the most. He'll be honest. Everything that happened afterwards pissed him off, His car wouldn't work. The boys were extremely annoying to him today and much more.

And when you told him you liked him all out of the blue, that was the last straw. He can't handle all this new information at once. So he told you to leave, he just needed a day's peace by himself with no one around to annoy him further.

At first, you were hurt, wondering why he just treated your feelings like rubbish thrown into the bin. Wondering what you could've possibly done that would've made him so mad.

You thought that news you brought him would have cheered him up, but apparently not. The thing is, you knew Chunkz had bad days, and this was one of them. He'll get around to you and respond back because to him, certain things shouldn't just be left off like that.

And that's what happened, The next morning, you got a call from Chunkz.

"Hey, what's up?" You answered, yawning as you were still sleepy as you just woke up.

"First off, I wanted to say I'm sorry about yesterday, I was having a really bad day, and I just couldn't comprehend everything all at once."

You smiled behind the phone, you knew it.

"I was such a idiot towards you, my darlin, and I'm sorry about that. I like you a lot too."

You were completely awake now, and you laughed in relief, and you were so glad he felt the same. It would have absolutely crushed you if he actually meant how he treated you yesterday. "I'm so glad you feel the same way."

"Oh, and don't tell the mandem I got mad at you yesterday... They will probably smoke me if they find out I was an annoyed bastard when you confessed."

You most certainly will tell them, though you will just make it seem they found out from another source. ;)

"I know it's early in the morning, so I'll let you go back to sleep, my darlin. Though later I'll pick you up at 2 so don't forget." Then he hung up the call, leaving you smiling to yourself.

How could you go back to sleep now?

When you confessed to AJ that you liked him, he legit laughed. You were both in his sitting room because you had previously told him that you wanted to talk to him privately.

He thought it was something super important, but he never thought you would be one to joke around. So he laughed when you told him.

"You like me?" He laughed, putting a hand over your shoulder to try and calm down his laughter, taking deep breaths, "Hah, Y/N, I never thought you'd be a joke man, that's a good one."

"Aj, I'm not joking right now, I'm serious." You responded in disbelief at his reaction.

"Sure you are." He said with his voice clearly laced with sarcasm, "But if you "were," I wouldn't accept anyway. You're not good enough for me." He winked and started to giggle again but stifled his laughter.

At this point, you felt as if AJ thought everything you did was a prank to him. Spending time with him was so much fun, and you loved every minute of it. But you knew he wasn't taking you seriously, and so you stood up and left.

You could hear him call after you, asking where you were going, but you couldn't let him see you so upset like this, holding back your tears. You confessed your feelings to him, and he thought it was a prank? Insane.

On the drive back home, you kept hearing your phone go off and buzzing but you just put it on silent. You knew it was probably Aj, but you didn't want to answer him right now.

How could he treat you like that? Laughing off at your feelings like that. Even when you told him that your feelings were real.

I'm not good enough for you?

Thinking about it, though, he was a famous youtuber known all over many parts of the world, and you were just you. Of course, he thought you weren't good enough for him.

Arriving home, you decided not to eat dinner at the moment and just try and go to sleep. You didn't even reach your bedroom door yet until you broke down crying. Your heart hurt even more because, for once, you genuinely liked someone and told him, but just dismissed your feelings off as a joke.

Suddenly, you heard a knock at the door, but you didn't have the energy to open it, until you heard a soft voice speak.

"Y/N, I know you're in there, could you please let me in? Can I talk to you please?"

Knowing it was Aj, you won't lie and say you weren't upset, but you decided you'd at least give him the chance to talk to you, so you went and unlocked the door. Opening it, you saw him holding a bag full of your favourite food and snacks. Once he saw your face, you could instantly see the guilt he felt as it showed in his eyes.

Holding the door open, you motioned to let him enter. He went and put the food in the kitchen table and after he did he instantly came up and inveloped you into a tight hug.

Physical touch was one thing Aj didn't like, but seeing you so upset, he was willing to try with you.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were actually being serious, and you weren't responding to my texts or calls so I knew you actually meant what you said and I know you're hurt and I'm genuinely sorry about this." He rambled on nonstop, "And I even brought you some food to cheer you up because I know those are your favouri-"

You put a finger to his mouth to shush him and lightly giggle to yourself. "Aj, calm down and tell me calmly, I can't understand most of your rambling." Calming down, he took both of your hands and looked you straight in the eye, guilt in there, but you saw something else too, love enveloped over it, consuming his eyes.

"I thought you were pranking me, and I didn't want to be hurt if I did tell you I liked you and you actually didn't reciprocate my feelings." He looked down a bit in thought, and then took a deep breath as he looked back up at you,

"What I'm saying here is ... I really like you too, Y/N."

Taglist: @b4tasquad, @p3drii, @n1kodl, @elora-k, @slutforpablogavi

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

The Hope in the Fault Lines | Part 3

Part 3 is finished folks! Warnings: some suggestive material, smut in the next part!!! (so minors probably shouldn't interact with any of this), car accident described, death of a sibling, PTSD, nightmares, pretty severe cold symptoms, 97 liners ft Wonwoo make an appearance Word Count: 7.6k

Read part one and part two here!! (and part 4 here)

“Hi, Mingyu,” you say weakly into the phone.

“Hi,” he says. “You sound awful.”

You look around your bedroom, littered with used tissues, cough drop wrappers, and every blanket in your house that doesn’t belong to Sara. “I am awful,” you groan. “I didn’t know one person could be responsible for so much mucus.”

He laughs his charming, high-pitched giggle. “What’s the move, boss?” he asks you. 

“Well, I’m not going to work,” you tell him. “And maybe you shouldn’t either. I’m worried you’ll get sick if you come over.”

He scoffs. “I’m offended. I never get sick.”

“Well, still,” you say stubbornly. Already exhausted from the conversation, you lean against the headboard, coughing pathetically.

“I don’t think you should try to take care of Sara when you’re like this. You should be resting,” he says, his voice taking on that specific color it gets when he’s concerned. “And someone needs to take care of you, too.”

“Don’t come, Mingyu,” you protest, wondering at the blush now rising in your cheek.

“I’m coming,” he says with finality.

“Why did you even ask me what I wanted to do if you were just gonna do the exact opposite thing?” you ask him grumpily.

“Because I know you don’t think you need to rest, but the rest of us do,” he tells you, and you can almost hear him rolling his eyes.

“The rest of us?” you ask him, stifling another cough.

“Yeah, like, every single friend you have.”

You lose the battle with your lungs and cough violently for a moment, which is good, because it hides how touched you are that Mingyu has lumped himself with your friends. Then, “fine. But stay out of my room. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’m not going to get sick. Have you eaten yet?”

Your silence earns a sigh from Mingyu. “I’ll make something when I get there. Hang tight, boss.”

It seems like hours before the doorbell rings and you have to drag yourself out of bed to answer it. The spring day is gloomy, and as you open the door a flood of cool morning air sweeps over you, making you shiver uncomfortably. But there he is, and he’s taking in the sight of you with an eagerness that belies the mundaneness of your meeting. Something seems to have changed between now and the hospital visit, but although words are your life’s work, you can’t put a name to what it is.

“Hi,” he says, and his voice is a little more shy than you’ve ever been used to hearing. The reasons for this newfound bashfulness completely unknown to you, you curse yourself for the way your heart nearly beats itself out of your chest. 

“Hey,” you croak, throwing up a peace sign. You know you look bad. Your hair is a greasy, kinky mess, you’re wearing your worst grandma nightgown, and you didn’t even have the energy for contacts today, so your face is covered with thick spectacles.

He laughs. “That’s a really cute outfit, boss.”

“Shut up,” you say, and cough out a laugh yourself.

“I’m serious! You look like my granny. I’m pretty sure she has that nightgown.” He leans in a little to inspect. “And possibly the glasses too.”

You frown at him, but without any real venom — although a little startled by his closeness. “Cruel of you to tease me while I’m on my deathbed.”

“Speaking of which,” he says, coming into the house after removing his shoes. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“Well, as much as I’m already regretting letting you come over, I couldn’t just leave you outside, could I?” you huff.

“I guess not,” he replies. “Where’s Sara?”

Your eyes get wide. “Oh my goodness. I haven’t even seen her today.” Guilt washes over you, followed by a pang of grief. What would Jeri say about you forgetting about her child?

Mingyu’s jaw drops, and he quickly runs to Sara’s room. He comes down seconds later with a sleepy-looking Sara in his arms. “She was awake, just laying there,” he says. “I think she knows you’re not feeling well.”

“Or she knows I suck at this,” you say quietly. “Either way, I’m glad she’s okay.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes. “You don’t suck at this. You’re sick. Now go to bed before I kick your butt.”

You purse your lips, but obey, trudging tiredly up the stairs while he watches you carefully. “Who works for who?” you mutter under your breath.

“What was that?” he calls up to you, his tone trying for stern but landing at amused.

“Nothing,” you say in a scratchy sing-song voice that makes him chuckle. You pad your way up to your bedroom, shutting the door and tucking yourself in bed. Downstairs, you can hear the muffled sounds of Mingyu making food, presumably for you. You listen with interest -- you can’t make out the words, but you can tell Mingyu is speaking as he cooks. The sudden realization that Mingyu probably talks to Sara all day while you’re gone fills you with fondness; it strikes you as something Jisung would have done. 

Settling into your mountain of pillows, you try to relax your mind. It’s hard, though -- hard because for some reason your mind keeps wandering down the stairs and latching onto the obscenely beautiful man who is making you breakfast right now. No man, not even the ones you dated or slept with, has ever made you breakfast, and Kim Mingyu is managing to do it twice in one week. Are men only good to you if you’re paying them? you wonder to yourself.

Just then, the doorbell rings yet again. Curiously, you wrap yourself in a blanket and head back down the stairs to see who it is, and are shocked to find Mingyu at the door with Cory.

Cory is taking in the sight of Mingyu (in a Christmas apron he probably found in your pantry, still holding a spatula that has a few flecks of what looks like waffle or pancake batter). He looks between the two of you as you come down the hall. “Hey,” you say. “Mingyu, I see you’ve met my editor-in-chief, Cory.”

Mingyu’s eyes light with recognition. “Oh! I’ve heard so much about you!” he says, his eager puppy-like energy making Cory blink in confusion. 

“Cory,” you explain, “this is Mingyu. He’s my...nanny.” You hesitate before stating Mingyu’s official job title, because “nanny” doesn’t seem serious enough for everything Mingyu does for you and Sara. 

“Oh,” Cory says, seeming to recover at least partially. You bite your lip, holding back a giggle, as Cory sizes Mingyu up yet again. “I’m sorry, uh, I thought…when you said nanny, I thought you meant…”

“A woman?” you say, raising an eyebrow. You cough, leaning against the wall for support, and Mingyu reaches out an arm to steady you.

“Well, I probably should go finish the pancakes,” he tells you after you finish coughing. “Nice to meet you, Cory!”

Cory’s eyes follow Mingyu down the hallway into the kitchen. “Your nanny?” he says in disbelief.

“Yeah,” you say, somewhat uncomfortable. “He came recommended by a friend who used to work with him.”

“Where? A bodybuilding competition?”

You really have to pinch your lips together tightly to avoid laughing. “So…why are you here?” you ask him after the urge subsides. 

“Oh,” Cory says, shaking himself. “I brought you some cough drops.” He hands you a bag of cherry-flavored cough drops lamely, his usual coolness tempered by the ego hit of meeting Mingyu, and looks at the floor. 

You take them from him. “Thanks, Cory. Don’t be late -- they need you there.”

“We need you there,” he corrects you. “Get better soon.”

And with that, he’s out the door.

You put the bag of cough drops on the kitchen counter and slump onto the couch in the living room. When you make eye contact with Mingyu as he turns around to put a pancake on a plate, you giggle. 

“What?” he asks, a little defensive and a little amused. 

“I think you just intimidated the shit out of my editor-in-chief,” you tell him.

His eyes get wide. “I didn’t mean to!” he protests. 

“I know you didn’t,” you say. Your laughs turn into coughs, which makes Mingyu look even more worried. He moves the now-empty pan off the hot stove and brings you a glass of water, which you accept gratefully. 

“Well, it’s cool your employees bring you stuff when you’re sick,” he reasons, taking a seat on the couch beside you as you drink the water. “You must be a good boss.”

You scoff. “My employees don’t bring me stuff when I’m sick,” you say. “Cory brings me stuff when I’m sick.” You can’t keep the annoyed tone out of your voice, and Mingyu notices.

“You...don’t like him?”

You sigh. “I like him just fine,” you say. But as Mingyu continues to stare at you, confused, you laugh again. “I’m sorry!” you say as his look grows exasperated. “You’re just funny. Um, well. I’ve known Cory since uni, and --”

“He likes you,” Mingyu realizes. His face has fallen from his bemused expression to a stony one.

You nod, grimacing in tandem with him. “He told me the night that Sara went into the hospital.”

Mingyu looks at his hands. “Got it,” he says. “And you don’t feel the same way about him?”

“I don’t think so,” you say, playing awkwardly with the hem of your shirt. “He’s a great guy, but I don’t think he’s quite my type.”

“Well, he doesn’t even know you don’t like cherry-flavored cough drops,” Mingyu says, like it’s the world’s biggest red flag.

“How do you know that?” you ask him, bewildered at this revelation.

He shrugs. “Simple observation. In the pantry where you keep the cough medicine, there’s also cough drops. You have a bag of every single flavor but cherry.”

“Huh,” you say. “I guess you weren’t a spy for nothing.”

He allows a small grin at that. “Or maybe I’m just paying attention,” he says quietly.

It feels stuffy and hot in the living room. “Well,” you say in an offhand tone, “I didn’t realize that not knowing my cough drop preferences was a deal-breaker. But I guess I haven’t really dated in two years. Like, since school.”

“Really?” he asks incredulously. 

“I dated around,” you clarify. “But even while I was dating, I wasn’t really thinking about dating. I was starting a business, I was trying to take care of Jeri, I was focusing on school…and then I got so busy with how well the magazine was doing. It never took priority.” You look around the room — at the baby toys in their basket and Sara’s blankets all over the couch — and sigh. “And now that I’m effectively a single mother, I think that ship has sailed.”

He scowls at this last admission. “There’s somebody for everyone,” Mingyu insists. “And you have a lot going for you, boss. So don’t give up on yourself.” He stands up and grabs Sara’s baby food off the counter, sitting down in the seat next to her high chair and spooning mashed up peas and carrots and sweet potatoes into her mouth. You don’t know what’s gotten into you today, but you find yourself fixated on his hands. They’re big and manly, with a dark purple scar over one of the knuckles the only hint at his past life. But it’s more than that. There’s something about the way they dwarf the tiny plastic baby spoon so it looks like a toy and how gentle and careful they are with Sara’s messy eating, brushing the mush from the corners of her mouth. You find yourself wondering how such a hand might feel through the fabric of the shirt at your waist, or moving up the curve of your spine, or wound in the hair at the back of your head while you sigh out his name …

What the hell? you think to yourself, surprised at this abrupt nosedive into insanity. Suddenly bashful, you swallow hard. “What about you?” you ask him, before you can stop yourself. And as he looks at you, a little shocked, you immediately backtrack. “You really don’t have to answer that,” you say, blushing fiery red and combusting into another fit of violent coughs. 

“That’s okay,” he says, watching you with the same worried eyes from the table. “I don’t mind. When I was a fed, I didn’t have the time to date. After I got out I had one serious girlfriend, we nearly got engaged, but then I think we both realized it wasn’t what we wanted.”

“No heartbreaks?” you ask slyly.

He grins. “Well, I wouldn’t say that,” he says. “Maybe just not romantic ones.”

You bite your lip. If there was ever a perfect lead-in for you to ask the question that’s been at the back of your mind since the hospital, it was that. You start, gently. “You never have to answer any of my questions if you don’t want to,” you tell him. “And I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t refuse to answer, so please let me know if I cross any major boundaries. But I noticed something. About you.”

He looks at you expectantly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you continue. “The doctor in the hospital seemed to know you.”

He smiles softly. “Any theories?” he asks you.

“Mainly that you or someone very close to you had a sick kid,” you say in a single breath, trying not to make him upset. 

He’s nodding thoughtfully. “You’re pretty observant,” he says. “Do you want to open that door?” His tone is still even, but you sense something behind it -- a soberness that is rare for his cheerful personality.

“Only if you feel okay about opening it,” you tell him. Honestly, it wouldn’t change anything if he decided to share or not to share, but you get the feeling that he has carried a heavy burden, unseen, for a good long while. And maybe you hope that you’ll be able to ease whatever you can of that burden. “It’s totally up to you.”

“Okay. Give me a second.”

He puts a lid on the half-finished container of baby food Sara is now stubbornly dodging spoonfuls of. Grabbing a washcloth, he gently wipes off her face as she writhes away from him, then brushes it over her hands and torso as well. Finally, he lifts Sara out of her high chair and into his arms, coming once again to sit by you on the couch while Sara rests against his chest.

He takes a deep breath. “My last official mission,” he begins, “was a security detail for an important diplomat’s wife and son as we evacuated them from the country due to some threats against him and his family. I got really close to the kid. He was six, and he was smart as a whip. Loved cars and toys and dinosaurs, but he also had seen a lot in his short life. Anyway, it took us a long time to get them here, and during that time, the poor guy started getting sick.”

You are unconsciously gripping your blanket around yourself as he tells the story, his soft low voice prodding at your heart in uncomfortable ways, but you are unable to tear your eyes away from his face. He keeps speaking, all while Sara, still exhausted from her own illness, falls asleep in his arms, probably soothed into it by the cadence of Mingyu’s voice. “He had been born prematurely, and his lungs weren’t quite right. But then he got the flu or something, and because of his lungs, it was a lot more serious for him. We fought to get him here in time to get help, and the doctors did an amazing job, but in the end, the bureaucracy of it all made it so he passed away. Doctor Song was his doctor, and she was fabulous, which is why I knew her.”

“Is that why you left the service?” you ask him, and your voice comes out a hoarse whisper.

He nods. “I had seen a lot, but watching that kid die was the worst thing I’d ever seen. Because it was totally preventable if we’d been able to make it here in time.” His voice is so calm, but you can gauge a small amount of bitterness there, softened by the years since. He stands up. “I’m gonna put Sara in her crib. Stay there,” he says.

He’s back in a flash, sitting down a bit closer to you this time. “Anyway. That experience was kind of the nail in the coffin for two things: one was that I knew I didn’t want to be an agent anymore, and the other one was that I wanted to work with kids.”

“That’s quite a career change,” you point out. “Why kids?”

He can’t help but break into a wide smile. “I love kids. Things are so simple to them. And after my last job, I really needed that.”

“Is it hard to leave them when the job is over?” you ask him, thinking of Sara.

He shrugs. “Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s not so bad. The older kids are usually a bit easier because you can explain to them why you’re leaving. They know it’s not really your choice or that they did something wrong. With the little ones, it can be brutal.”

You shift uncomfortably, this vein of the conversation making you inexplicably anxious. “Well, I was absolutely serious about you having a job until Sara moves out. So…please don’t leave us.” You try to feel embarrassed by how pathetic this sounds, but all you can do is meet Mingyu’s eyes and try to convey how desperately you both need him. “And if you’re ever thinking about quitting, just let me know,” you continue, trying to lighten the mood. “I can be very persuasive if I need to be.”

He cackles. “You sound like a mafia boss. Are you threatening me with violence or trying to bribe me?”

“Whichever is more effective,” you joke. “But seriously, this was a very unhappy home just a couple weeks ago. You’ve made a massive difference. So if there’s anything I can ever do to improve your work or your life at all, please tell me. It’s the least I can do.”

Mingyu puts a hand on your knee, poking out from between the folds of your blanket. “Thanks,” he says. “But you should know I really don’t foresee myself throwing in the towel here anytime soon.”

You smile. “Good,” you say, instinctively putting a hand over his and squeezing.

And then you burst into coughs — your most violent attack of the day. It is almost instantly made worse by Mingyu, who springs up to bring you your water, collides painfully with the coffee table, and ends up spilling your water, a potted plant, and a book on neoclassical art all over the floor. The ensuing laughter bubbling up in your chest turns into a gale of coughs, and Mingyu sheepishly grabs your cup from off the floor and limps to the sink to wash it off. He brings it back to you full again. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says, sitting down and rubbing at the spot on his shin that hit the table. “I’m a bit clumsy.”

You swallow your water and breathe carefully before responding. “It’s okay,” you say, trying to resist the urge to laugh, knowing it’ll just make you cough again. “Is that why you put all the pancakes on one of Sara’s baby plates?”

He nods furtively, biting his bottom lip. “I actually never use your nice dishes because I know I’ll break at least one, and they’re so pretty.”

The image of Mingyu eating off a plastic Dumbo plate with Sara while you’re at work flashes before your eyes. “How thoughtful,” you say with a grin. “But I don’t care if you break my plates.”

Truly, you thought to yourself as he, smiling widely, brings you the aforementioned pancakes, Mingyu could break whatever he liked of yours as long as he stuck around. 

***

“I’m not leaving,” Mingyu says stubbornly.

“You need to sleep,” you insist in a whisper outside of Sara’s bedroom door. 

“Not as much as you do,” he argues in a hushed tone. “You really should not be getting up with her in the middle of the night when you feel this bad.”

“I’m fine,” you lie, but your raspy voice gives you away — as has the entire day Mingyu has spent with you. 

Shortly after you had finished your pancakes, Sara had woken up. Mingyu had shouted you down from going to get her, instead accompanying you as you went upstairs and then marching you to your room for a nap. “You pay me to look after Sara,” he’d reminded you. “It’s my whole job. So you just rest.”

And you had rested, waking from your nap around 1 in the afternoon by a soft knock at your bedroom door. Mingyu had brought you some ramen on a tray, Sara strapped to his chest in a baby backpack, and his earlier accident ensured his steps were careful and measured. He had laid the try across your lap and bowed. “The queen’s lunch is served,” he’d said, winking at you as he left you to wonder why on earth such a simple thing as a wink could send a chill down your spine.

And then you’d brought the tray back down to the kitchen, and he’d scolded you — “who said you could get out of bed?” — but had relented when you told him you had been so bored upstairs by yourself and you’d wanted to watch a movie on the big-screen TV in the living room. Mingyu had set Sara down onto the fluffy white rug in front of the TV to entertain her for a moment, and you’d watched fondly as he blew raspberries into her chubby belly, drawing out her widest smiles. 

“Ooh, watch this,” he’d said. “She loves it!” He grabbed her thick legs and pulled them up and down in a mimic of a track runner, and Sara actually giggled. 

“Yeah, you’re shaking all the gas out of her,” you’d told him, and he’d laughed.

“She does usually fart a lot after,” he allowed. 

After awhile of searching for the right movie, you’d finally decided to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Mingyu sat cross-legged on the rug, helping Sara play with her toys, but getting sucked into the movie at periodic intervals. Anytime something scary happened, he would cover Sara’s eyes and look at you in mock-judgment. After the third spooky moment, he exclaimed, “there is a child present!”

You had given him a dry look. “She seems really traumatized,” you had deadpanned, pointing to where Sara was whacking a plastic banana on the floor, babbling contentedly, completely ignoring the screen.

And so the day wore on, buffered by small moments of what you could only call growing comfort with each other. It was partially this that had you so adamant to kick him out — having Mingyu so close and so there was making your feelings all jumbled and weird. And having him stay overnight — waking up in the same house as he did — would most definitely not help anything.

So you try your best. “I’ll pay you to go home,” you beg. 

“And leave you by yourself?” He scoffs. “My mama didn’t raise me that way.”

“I manage just fine most nights,” you protest indignantly.

“Most nights you don’t have the plague,” he counters. “I’ve been around all day. I know how bad it is. You won’t even know I’m here. I’ll even sleep in the nursery again.”

“Mingyu, you’ll get sick —“ you start to say, and then pause. “What did you say?”

“You won’t even know I’m here?” he repeats.

“No, after that. You slept in the nursery?”

He shrugs. “Well, yeah, the guest bedroom doesn’t have a baby monitor, and plus I was worried about her, and that rug in there is basically a mattress anyway,” he says. “But seriously, she’s teething. You’ll probably be up all night, and that won’t be good for your illness.”

The look in his eyes as he says it — almost begging you to let him stay — would be too much under a normal circumstance, but learning that this man slept on the floor to keep Sara company while she was so sick pushes you over the edge. “Fine,” you whisper. “But at least take the couch.”

He grins. “Good to see the lady can compromise.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t push your luck,” you tell him. 

After bidding him goodnight, you close your bedroom door behind you and hold your hand over your heart, which is thumping wildly. This feeling is completely foreign to you — the closest approximation you can come up with is the embarrassing crush you used to have on Steve Irwin, which Jeri never stopped teasing you for. But even that was just enough to keep you interested in his work. It hadn’t reduced you to a full blushing mess as you slid down your bedroom door, a funny feeling in your stomach. You finally understand why people talk about “butterflies” as your insides flutter, trying not to imagine Mingyu stretched out on your couch, his eyelids closed, his pretty lashes brushing the top of his cheekbones  —

“Stop it.” You actually have to say it out loud because it’s ridiculous how nothing has even happened, but you’re blushing. It’s a good thing you’re so ill and exhausted, because otherwise you know you’d be tossing and turning all night. As it is, you pass out only minutes after your too-hot shower.

Your mind is not kind to you in your illness and exhaustion and confusion, though. In dreams you drift around the halls of the hospital, heart monitors beeping suspiciously slowly, producing an uneasy soundtrack for you to glide between rooms to. Your eyes can’t focus on anything properly, so you simply pass through room after room with blurry patients strapped to beds, bandaged or moaning or pale and silent, going faster and faster until you turn a corner and everything changes abruptly. 

Now you’re on an abandoned highway in the dark, and just ahead you can see the wreckage of a small teal vehicle.

You recognize the car, which is blistering in flames, its mangled exterior seeming to bubble grotesquely in the flickering firelight. You scan the interior, paralyzed with fear at what you’ll find there, but it is empty.

A voice is calling your name, a voice you know -- Jeri’s voice. You try to find your own voice to answer her, but when you open your mouth, all you can do is scream. And still, she calls your name, over and over and over again until you suddenly feel yourself being shaken awake by two large hands on your shoulders.

The first thing you register is the stinging in your throat as you wake up, signaling you had probably screamed in real life, not just in the dream. The next is the panicked brown eyes staring into yours, the perfect face they belong to a mask of worry and fear. “Are you with me?” Mingyu says. “Are you awake?”

The last thing you notice is how heavily you’re breathing. You sit up, coughing, while Mingyu watches you in paralyzed concern. “I’m so sorry,” you say raggedly when you can finally speak. “I’m so sorry for waking you up.”

Everything still feels surreal — like you’ve detached from the world you’re used to, like you’re watching things happen from outside your body. What brings you back down to earth is when Mingyu pulls you into his chest and nearly crushes you in his grasp.

He’s warm. Warm like a fire in the winter of your terror, warm like the sunlight after a chilly swim, warm like coming home after a long time of being away. You breathe him in, and everything is suddenly the clean scent of his shampoo and a hint of sweat and just the faintest dash of cologne. And somehow the spinning of the room stops, your heart slows down, the terror eases. You lean into him and close your eyes, letting yourself hold his massive body to you, feeling his broad fingers brush gently down your back and up again, hoping that neither of you will let go. 

“I thought something bad was happening to you,” he whispers into your temple. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“It was a dream,” you say softly. “It was a really bad dream.”

He pulls back to look at you, and a large part of you misses the warmth and the weight of him. This same part of you is rapidly soothed when he pushes some of your hair from your face to see your expression better, searching your face with those same anxious eyes. “Are you okay now?”

You are -- you really are -- but somehow you have the presence of mind not to say that. Instead you nod. “I’m awake,” you say with a soft nod. 

Mingyu sighs in relief. “Give me two seconds.”

He leaves the room, and you deflate into your pillows, exhausted and aching for the feeling of Mingyu’s arms around you again in a way you are not equipped to fight off. When he returns, you see he’s brought Sara with him, blinking sleepily. He slowly hands her to you and then sits facing you on your mattress.

You settle into the weight of Sara on your chest, which soothes you almost as much as Mingyu’s arms had. “What did you dream about?” Mingyu asks you, trying not to sound as worried as you know he must be. It makes you smile a little.

“I dreamed about the hospital and the accident,” you say simply.

“Your sister’s accident?” he asks. “Did you see it? When it happened, I mean?”

You shake your head, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat. “No, it was something my brain entirely made up,” you say. “But it felt real.”

He pauses. You sense some trepidation in him, some debate over whether or not to say what he’s mulling over in his brain. Finally he decides. “What happened to them? I only know it was a vehicle accident.”

You give him a humorless smile. “Do you want to open that door?” you ask him, echoing his words from earlier.

“Only if you do,” he says, putting a hand on your knee.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. It is the first time you will ever tell another human being the story. “It was raining,” you say. “My sister and her husband had gone to one of his sales team’s events -- it was a swanky party in the canyon. They were stopped at a stop sign when they got rear-ended so hard they slammed into the opposite railing. Jisung died right there, but my sister was thrown from the car. She lived long enough for someone to find them, long enough to crawl back to the road and get picked up by an ambulance, but not long enough to make it into surgery. She died on the same floor Sara was in two days ago, but the west wing instead of the east.”

Mingyu’s brow is furrowed, his eyes overly bright. “And the other driver?” he says roughly. “What happened to them?”

“They still haven’t found him,” you say. “They used paint chips from the back of my sister’s car to identify the vehicle, which wasn’t registered to anyone living. The police are apparently still looking for him.”

Mingyu looks like he’s about to hug you again, but stops himself because of Sara. He settles for smoothing a hand over Sara’s head and looking at you with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “That’s...unfair. And awful. And so sad.”

You nod in agreement. “It is.” You sigh, and with your breath you release a bit of tension you didn’t know you were holding in your jaw. “I just hope she knew how much I love her.” You think back to the last conversation you’d had — full of love and laughter and the promise to see each other soon. Your eyes begin to water, and you sniff.

Mingyu slides across your bed to sit beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. He holds you and Sara in his arms while you silently cry -- not the shaking sobs of despair from the hospital or the agonized scream from your nightmares, but a release of all the pent-up feelings you hadn’t had time to allow yourself to feel. You spill over with sadness and anger and pain, but most of all with longing for your sister. You want to hear her voice again, make her laugh again, make her angry again as long as you could just have her there. 

And all of this feeling pouring out of you leaves you feeling drained when it’s over. You are empty, but not the same kind of emptiness you felt in the months before you’d met Mingyu. It was more like the emptiness of a backpack after you take everything out, an emptiness that was no longer hopeless to fill. 

After what is probably more than an hour, you whisper, “Mingyu?”

His sleepy “hm?” from above you floods your heart with warmth.

“I’m afraid I should be paying you double. I think you’re taking care of both of us,” you say, still in a whisper. 

“No need,” he says softly, his arms tightening around you for a fraction of a second. “You heard my whole tragic backstory this morning. It was only fair.”

You smile against his chest, and Sara stirs, beginning to fuss. Mingyu sits up but doesn’t let go, looking down at Sara. “She’ll be up crying in a second,” he says. “Let me take her.”

He scoops her into his arms, rubbing tiredly at his eyes with one hand. “Get some rest,” he says, maneuvering himself off of the bed, stopping only briefly to brush one final tear off your face. 

“Sleep well,” he says softly as he closes your bedroom door behind him. 

You relax into the pillows, reaching over to grab the one Mingyu had been leaning against. It still smelled like him. The scent is enough for your overwhelmed brain — you fall asleep in seconds.

***

As he shuts the door behind you to allow you to go back to sleep, hoping that this time your mind stays free of traumatic dreams, Mingyu pauses.

He is in trouble.

He’d known it from that very first day. Because how could someone be so drop-dead gorgeous in their rattiest sweatpants, with their hair a mess, looking like they might burst into tears at any moment? 

And now, three weeks in, it was worse than ever — the light was coming back into your eyes, and that change was stirring feelings in him he’d never felt before. And as he’d heard more of your story, he became more and more enthralled. He was proud of how hard you worked, and he adored your sense of humor, and he admired your authenticity and honesty, but what had drawn him irresistibly to you was the way that you loved: passionately, almost recklessly, with everything in you. From what Mingyu could tell, that love had leached into every single thing you did — it was the reason your business was so successful, the reason Sara felt so safe with you, and the reason your grief was so heavy. Since realizing this, Mingyu hadn’t even stood half a chance.

As he bounced up and down with Sara in his arms, trying to soothe her fussing, he thought back to the moment when he knew he was a goner: when you’d knighted him in the kitchen and called him Sir Mingyu. The way he’d wanted to take your face in his hands and kiss you until you forgot about everything but him was almost criminal. And tonight...seeing your sleepy eyes, and how you’d melted into his embrace...he’d had to grab Sara as a buffer between the two of you, or he might just have risked it all, illness be damned. 

“Ah, Sara,” he whispered, remembering how you’d smiled dazedly at him as he left the room. “What should I do?”

He had tried to keep it professional with you. Tried to leave almost instantly when you arrived home without being rude. Tried to go out on weekends, so he didn’t have to think about you. But the truth was, he always did anyway. And coupled with the fact that Sara, too, had stolen his heart, and he knew he couldn’t love her more even if he were her own father — there was simply nothing for it. He’d just have to come to terms with the fact that he’d never felt more at home than when he was with the two of you.

It’s four in the morning, and Mingyu sighs as he pulls out his cell phone. “Why am I not surprised you’re awake?” he teases when Jungkook answers his call. 

“You know me,” Jungkook says, and Mingyu can hear the filthy smile on his friend’s face. “I never sleep.”

Mingyu shakes his head exasperatedly. “Got plans today?” he asks. “I’m working right now, but I think I need to go out later.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” For all his teasing, Jungkook is a good friend, and he can tell something’s up just by Mingyu’s tone of voice.

“I have someone I need you to help me forget.”

***

You wake up the next morning around 11, feeling better than you’ve felt in days, maybe weeks. You’re still coughing, but your energy is higher and you’re lighter than you’re used to when you first wake up. 

You head downstairs, where Mingyu is nodding off at the table, Sara sucking happily at her pacifier. You sit in the seat next to Mingyu. “Long night?”

“You have no idea,” he groans. 

“I’m feeling a lot better,” you say. “You should go home and rest.” You have to resist an urge to lay a hand on his arm. 

He blinks blearily at you. “You want me to go?”

You chuckle at his tone -- he sounds devastated. “You need to rest. In fact, I’m going to insist that I drive you home. I don’t trust you to drive safely right now.”

Mingyu smiles sleepily, the sight making it impossible for you not to smile yourself. “‘Kay,” he says.

“Alright, big guy, up you get,” you say, unstrapping Sara and putting her into her baby carrier. “Where do you live?”

He gives you an address, which you plug into your phone. Mingyu forbids you from carrying Sara’s car seat and strapping it in the car, doing it himself at a slower pace than normal due to his tiredness. You watch, amused, as he fumbles with the slots the carrier slides into, his eyes half open. Your heart nearly bursts as he finally gets her buckled and places a clumsy kiss on her cheek. 

He sleeps for most of the drive, slumped against the door of the car. When you arrive in his driveway, you have to shake his shoulder gently to get him to wake up. So you let him out of the car and walk him to the door, feeling somewhat worried he’ll pass out on the way there as he stumbles up the walkway. 

To your surprise, he knocks at the door. “This is your house,” you remind him, giving him a worried look.

He chuckles. “Forgot my keys. I have a housemate.”

Sure enough, in seconds the door swings open to reveal a slim, bespectacled man whose eyes widen at the sight of Mingyu’s tired face. “What happened to him?” he asks you. 

“He was up all night,” you say apologetically. “I tried to get him to leave at the usual time, but he just wouldn’t.”

He scoffs. “Sounds like him. Alright, get in here, you big baby.” The man pulls Mingyu inside by the sleeve of his hoodie, and Mingyu collapses onto the couch just visible from the door. 

You watch him, torn between concern, fondness, and amusement, until you notice the other man eyeing you. “I’m Wonwoo,” he says with a small smile. “You must be Miss Boss.”

“Is that what he calls me?” you ask, embarrassed.

“No, that’s what I’ve been calling you,” he says. “He talks about you a lot.”

You blush. “I’m sorry,” you say, although you’re not really sure why.

“It’s fine,” he says. “This job seems better for him than the last few, so I feel like I actually owe you one.”

“Oh,” is all you can say. “Well, Wonwoo, uh...just make sure he rests, okay? Tell him I can come get him whenever and he can drive his car home.”

“Will do,” Wonwoo says cheerfully. “Have a nice day!”

***

[23:23, the following evening]

“Why did I even come here?” Mingyu groans over the sound of the music.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You are absolute shit at forgetting people, you know that?”

Mingyu shakes his head. “Not usually,” he says. “I don’t really know what’s going on.”

“You need to be more drunk,” Eunwoo suggests. 

“And maybe flirt with someone else,” Wonwoo recommends.

Mingyu wrinkles his nose in disgust at the thought. “What are you scared of?” Jungkook asks with a laugh. “You said that you had absolutely no chance.”

“Yet,” Mingyu says. “I have no chance yet.”

“And your plan is to…what?” Eunwoo asks, leaning closer and examining Mingyu’s face. “Wait around until your chance comes?”

Mingyu hesitates. Jungkook shakes his head. “I don’t think you’re a waiter, Kim Mingyu, but you’re allowed to prove me wrong if you want.”

At this, Mingyu rolls his eyes. “You’ve been eyeing the girl in the black dress over there for the past hour,” he remarks casually. “You can talk to me about waiting once you make a move.”

Jungkook watches the woman in the black dress with a tattooed hand on his chin. “Alright, I will.” He shrugs his thin black jacket off, revealing his full tattoo sleeve, and makes his way rhythmically to the dance floor, leaning in to speak to the girl.

“I know that was just a move to get him to go away,” Eunwoo says. “But well done, regardless.” He pats Mingyu on the shoulder. “So tell me, do you want to wait for her?”

Mingyu bristles. “The only thing I know for sure is that I have feelings for her. Beyond that I have no idea what to do about it.”

“Are the feelings you have for her … loving feelings or horny feelings?” Wonwoo asks carefully.

“Both,” Mingyu says through gritted teeth, fighting off the memory of your body in his arms. “How did you know you were in love?” he asks Eunwoo, glancing down at the ring on his finger. “How did you choose Nabi?”

Eunwoo looks thoughtfully into the distance. “She made it easy for me to just…be myself.”

Mingyu immediately remembers how simple it was to open up to you, his heart pounding at the thought. “I keep looking for a disqualifier,” he moans. “Something that would make her…I don’t know. Less…everything I ever wanted.”

Eunwoo grins ruefully. “I can think of one. She’s your boss,” he finishes, stirring his drink with his straw.

“And she told that one guy who liked her that she wasn’t ready to date,” Wonwoo pipes up. “She needs time to figure out what she’s doing before diving into a relationship.”

“So the only thing stopping me is circumstance?” Mingyu asks, frustrated.

Wonwoo and Eunwoo look at each other. “It sure seems that way,” Eunwoo agrees. “And…I don’t know, respect for her.”

“If she wasn’t your boss, and she wasn’t grieving,” Wonwoo points out, “what would you do?”

Mingyu’s cheeks warm with the thought of everything he’d do if you weren’t his boss. If you were ready for him. But he can’t say those things out loud, so he opts for the most generalized version of his answer. “I’d never give up on her,” he says with conviction.

Wonwoo’s eyes behind his spectacles are wise beyond his years. “Circumstances change all the time,” he says simply. “I know you don’t enjoy waiting for things, but maybe the best thing to do is stop fighting the feelings and just let them flow. You’ll either get your shot or you won’t, but if she’s as great as you think, she deserves to be waited for.” Wonwoo sips his water while Eunwoo and Mingyu stare, open-mouthed, at his sudden profundity.

“Damn,” Eunwoo says after awhile. “You should talk more.”

Wonwoo grins. “I would if anyone would listen to me,” he teases.

Mingyu is still letting Wonwoo’s words bounce around in his brain. “What should I do then?” he asks. “Like, right now. When there’s nothing I really can do.”

Wonwoo thinks for a minute. “Well, there’s a difference between what I think you should do and what I would do if it were me. What do you want to hear?”

“Both,” Mingyu and Eunwoo say together. Mingyu shoots Eunwoo an amused look, and he shrugs. “Hey, the last thing he said kind of blew me away.”

“Well,” Wonwoo says, “if it were me, I’d try to hide my feelings until I felt like it was a good time to talk about it.”

“And what do you think I should do?”

He ponders. “Well, you’re garbage at hiding your feelings. When you try, they just end up exploding out of you like diarrhea.”

Eunwoo snorts. “You were doing so well,” he laments.

Unbothered, Wonwoo continues. “So I’d say just be yourself. Don’t cross any lines or confess or anything, but don’t try to hide, either. And wait for her to say something.”

“And if she never does?” Mingyu asks, breathless.

“Die of unrequited love, I guess,” Wonwoo says with a wry grin. “Or move on.”

read part 4 here