#I don’t think his healing factor gives him any sort of advantage in life at all except that he survives it.

[sciderman]

if Wade wore a corset for like, a long time with no breaks would his body set that as the natural and heal his ribs and stuff to form to the corset so essentially he always has a snatched waist? or is that now how it works?

um. i don’t think that’s how it works, no.

[herohotline]

The students finding out Aizawa has a (very popular) hero husband?

A/N: SO... I used the quirk idea i have for an OC for the reader in this fic, since I’m not very creative with quirks. Still a reader insert, tho!! Also i kinda went OFF on this one lmaoooo

Reader’s Hero Name: Nebulous

Reader’s Quirk: Hallucination - Make one or more people see hallucinations, varying in detail and overall size based on how much he’s concentrating. The quirk is nullified if the person realizes what they’re seeing isn’t real.

———

If anyone were to guess what Aizawa’s opinion over the pro-hero Nebulous, they would probably assume it was a sour one. Whenever the hero tended to come up in conversation, Aizawa seemed to get irritated and tense- as if he despised the hero entirely. Personal, close friends, knew why he truly acted this way- but his students did not.

Right before Aizawa had come to class, the students were bustling with energy as usual. This time, it was over the fact that Pro-Hero Nebulous had gone undercover and stopped a human-trafficking ordeal taking place at an abandoned warehouse. Dozens of people were saved, and the fact that the organization had been revealed and busted, hundreds more would be saved as the day continued, all thanks to Nebulous and his quick thinking.

“Did you read the witness reports?” Uraraka chimes in to the conversation that the entire class seemed to be in, all of them sitting at their desks and turning their bodies in their chairs to be included. “Apparently a couple and some others saw the action!”

“Really?”

“That sounds so scary, though! Do you think they were seeing his quirk, even from that distance?”

“They had to! Some of the things that was reported was so bizarre-“

“Oh! Do you have a link to the reports?”

But just as Uraraka begins to bring her phone out of her bag, the door to the classroom slams open. The sound shocks a bunch of them as their heads snap forward, seeing Aizawa looking disheveled and grumpy in the doorway. But that’s nothing unusual.

In her shock, Uraraka drops her phone on the floor and it makes a sharp sound on the tile below before she quickly scrambles to pick it up. Aizawa just eyes her silently.

“You know phone’s aren’t allowed in class,” he says simply as he walks to the podium, placing a textbook on top with a sigh. “Put it away.”

“Y-yes, sorry Aizawa-sensei!”

After that, class silently begins as Aizawa talks about future plans for the class and training schedules. Most days, his class would be learning with at least one eager ear- but it’s not hard to notice he hardly has their attention at all today.

Needless to say, it irritates Aizawa greatly.

“Alright,” he slams the book he was reading from shut, the loud thud making his students jump again. His black eyes scan the room silently- their whispers and note passing has finally stopped, now that they notice how mad he is- until he finally puts his gaze on Midoriya. The one who’s been twitching the most this entire time. “Midoriya. Tell me what’s going on.”

Plus, the boy didn’t have it in him to lie. Especially not to Aizawa.

“M-me?!”

“Yes. Spit it out.”

Midoriya looks nervously around the room, swallowing thickly before he looks back to Aizawa. And then with a shaky breath, he let’s himself speak with a wince- as if he’s stepping right into a bear trap and he fully knows what will happen next.

“W-well, um, this morning there was a really cool undercover bust! Lots of people were saved, and it was... really cool.”

Aizawa squints. “I see.” Slowly, he leans his elbows on the podium as he stares at Midoriya. “Go on.”

The poor boy is practically vibrating from anxiety at his teacher’s cold stare. He has no idea why he’s harping on him like this, but Midoriya hates it. So much. “And the hero Nebulous was there, and uh- there were some eyewitnesses who saw his quirk. And he did a great job?”

There’s a chilling silence once Midoriya finishes- you could honestly cut the tension with a knife. But slowly, slowly, Aizawa leans back up, a frown etching deeply on his lips. “I see. That’s why you’re all so excited?”

The students nod.

“Mm...” The teacher grumbles, still offering nothing but silence until he finally speaks again. “Would you like to know more about the scene, then?”

They don’t know what to say. All of them look at each other nervously, feeling like maybe they shouldn’t know- but then Kaminari opens his big fat mouth. “Yes?”

It earns him multiple glares and harshly mouthed words.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what happened.” Aizawa walks over to his desk, letting the chair screech against the tile as he pulls it out and falls against it. “Pro-hero Nebulous has been working on this undercover case for a few weeks. He had been working on it with his agency, trying to find the best approach with the fewest casualties to confront this organization. But, he saw an opportunity arise. Without informing his agency or any back-up, he confronted the villains early this morning in their warehouse.” As he speaks, his voice is laced with a heavy, angry tone. His words are clipped and chilly as he crosses his arms and looks toward the class. “Can anyone tell me why that was such a god-awful idea?”

Momo slowly raises her hand, and she tries her best to speak evenly when Aizawa gives her permission to speak. But she was truly as nervous as everyone else, especially now that the teacher’s attention was all on her. “...Nebulous had gone solo into, assumingly, their base of operations. He most likely didn’t know the entire warehouse as well as the enemy, and his only advantage was a surprise attack. But the villains had numbers, weapons, and hostages on their side.”

“Perfect, Momo.” Aizawa grins- but it’s not a happy one. “As Momo has said, Nebulous made a very impulsive, stupid decision that could have gone sideways in an instant. This is a mistake that one of you could easily make-“ hey, ouch, “But for a pro-hero to make such a mistake is unacceptable. Does that sound right?”

The entire class agrees with a “Yes, Aizawa-sensei!” Much too terrified to disagree with him, if they even had the guts to.

“I will also tell you that Nebulous did not escape the ordeal unharmed. He is being held at the hospital being treated for a concussion and three gunshots.”

This was obviously news to the class as they look at each other with surprised glances, a few gasps being made. Uraraka softly speaks up, concern in her tone, “is he going to be okay?”

Surprisingly, Aizawa’s face softens, at least a little bit. He nods once, a heavy sigh leaving his body. “He’s a hero, so he's getting the best treatment he can. It is not the worst thing that could have happened, obviously, and more terrible things have happened, but there are more factors to put in place from his idiocy.” The teacher frowns again. “There are consequences for being stubborn and impulsive. There’s the financial side of things like hospital bills, there’s the people worrying about him such as fans and family, and the fact that he’ll most likely get laid off from his agency if things like this continue.”

He’s being unusually harsh, especially towards a random pro-hero, that much is made clear to the class. But perhaps he’s just trying to teach them something? Apparently so, because the next thing he has to say is, “so while Nebulous did his heroic duty... do not idolize him for making such amateur mistakes. Learn from it instead. Class dismissed.”

And the class left home room feeling confused and a little bit scared.

———

Rumors have started to spread ever since that day about Pro-Hero Nebulous and Eraserhead. After it left the classroom, more and more interesting theories came into bloom around the school. Were they archenemies? Did Nebulous do something to Eraserhead? Or were they secretly in love but can’t confess because it’s too complicated?!

The rumors could possibly be the death of Aizawa, and he makes sure to punish his class for starting them by making them train non-stop for an entire day. He supposes he did get a little heated, but at least he put it into some sort of lesson for them to learn from. But no one learned anything- they just tried to sneak into his private life instead. Which he was very adamant on keeping private.

And you, his lovely, stupid husband, respected Aizawa’s wish for privacy. You had since the very beginning- it’s why so few people knew you were married. It was hidden for the sake of Aizawa’s peace of mind and comfort, and he appreciated you greatly for it. 

But after being married for a few years and the tense fight you had over your most recent scuffle, apparently you were done being patient with him. Especially after you had heard about the rumors flirting about the school he worked in. 

———

You didn’t tell him what you were planning. Things were still a little silent in the house you shared that morning as you got ready for an interview with the press- the two of you kissed goodbyes, but that was about it. Of course, you understood your husbands worry over you, but enough was enough. 

Entering the building you were being interviewed at, you searched for the perfect opportunity. For Aizawa’s sake, you wore your rings of promise around your necks instead of your hands, safely hidden. But today you wore it proudly on your finger- but you hadn’t let the camera see it yet. 

Then your opportunity came. The girl interviewing you was young and sweet, her face dolled up for the camera with a pretty smile. But her face grew worried as she entered the next segment the casters had planned- “are you willing to talk about the recent trafficking bust?” 

You smile at her easily, crossing your legs and nodding. “Yes, I knew it was coming eventually.” 

You put your hands atop your knee- your ring now visible, but no one had taken notice yet. 

“Well, I can safely say we were all worried when we learned about your injuries. Have you healed up fully, or do you have any permanent damage that might affect your future work?” 

“Ah, right,” you laugh from your nose and squint your eyes. “Yeah, I’ll admit, it definitely hurt afterwards. My husband gave me an earful about it, I assure you, but I’ve fully healed up and should be ready to get back to work in a few days.”

“Oh, of course!” The reporter nods her head- and then there’s a shocked silence as her eyes grow wide. You can tell from one of the TVs in the room that the camera’s have zoomed in on you and your wide grin. “Did- you have a husband?” 

Your grin grows wider as you nod. “Yes, I do. We’ve been married for a few years- I’m a little shocked that no one’s caught us yet, but Eraserhead is really good at keeping things hidden.” 

Her eyes widen even more. “E-Eraserhead?!” 

Chuckling deeply, you look at her in mock surprise. “Oh, oops.” And then you look directly into the camera, giving it a wink. 

“I- I mean,” the poor interviewer looks at a loss for words as she sits still across from you. She looks at the cameramen, who just shrug at her. “This is... big news. I mean- married?” 

“Yeah... Wanna see my ring?” 

The interview has possibly the most viewers that the channel has had in over a century, and boy do you feel amazing. 

———

The unfortunate thing for Aizawa is that since the students were so worried over your wellbeing, he decided to have them watch the liveshow in class as it aired. 

Of course he noticed when you crossed your legs- of course he noticed the ring on your finger. You’ve been hiding your relationship from the public for so long, it was impossible for him not to. And a deep feeling of dread filled him once he remembered the look you gave him before you left the house this morning. 

You were planning something. And he wasn’t going to like it. 

“Well, I can safely say we were all worried when we learned about your injuries. Have you healed up fully, or do you have any permanent damage that might affect your future work?”

The students- the ones who cared, at least- had sat forward in their seats once the reporter asked this question. Surprisingly, you just smiled and laughed- your left hand twitching, but no one else noticed that but Aizawa. 

“Yeah, I’ll admit, it definitely hurt afterwards. My husband gave me an earful about it, I assure you, but I’ve fully healed up and should be ready to get back to work in a few days.”

This is when it started getting bad. 

Unlike the reporter, the girls in his class- along with Midoriya- noticed your little ‘slip-up’ right away. Jirou had reached out and grasped Momo’s hand in shock, which in a way was cute, but Aizawa was too busy wondering if he could stop you from what you were about to do if he jumped out the window right now and was just really, really fast.

“Did- you have a husband?” 

“Oh my God, is this really happening,” Ashido holds her face in her hands as she stares at the screen. 

“Who is it?!” 

“Yes, I do. We’ve been married for a few years- I’m a little shocked that no one’s caught us yet, but Eraserhead is really good at keeping things hidden.”

Ah, there it is. 

The whole class, as if on cue, starts yelling loudly and staring at their teacher who’s literally sitting dumbly in his chair, hands stuffed in his pockets and face halfway stuffed in his scarf. He hisses long and low as he stares at the screen in front of the class- looks at you and your stupid fucking grin. 

“Aizawa-sensei, is he joking?!”

“Aizawa-sensei, let me see your ring!”

“Aizawa-sensei?!”

This is the worst day in history. This is the worst. Aizawa quickly stands up, shutting the TV off. His students are still screaming, some of them getting out of their seats, and the hero is just... he’s done. 

“Alright. Class is over for the rest of time. Goodbye.” And then he opens the window next to his desk- the quickest escape route. He hears Midoriya yell at him that this isn’t the first floor, but Aizawa knows that. He just doesn’t care. Using his scarf, he lunges out the window without a care.

He heads straight home, where he knows you know he’ll be waiting for you. And oh boy, once you get home? You are not going to hear the end of it for a long, long time. 

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #47 Heracles

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re finishing off the Fate Stay/Night servants and starting on the berserkers with Heracles! This mountain of a man is could have easily been a pure Barbarian, but I went with one level of sorcerer for some extra defenses and mobility.

Check out the build’s summary here, or read the complete breakdown below the cut!

Race and Background

Heracles is half god, so being an Aasimar is pretty obvious. However, your stepmom really doesn’t like you, and that Madness Enhancement took a toll on your noggin, so you’re more of a Fallen Aasimar. You get +1 Strength and +2 Charisma, 60′ of Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, Healing Hands to heal a creature by your level (use this on yourself for a healing factor), and the Light Bearer feature, allowing you to cast the Light cantrip with your Charisma. 

Heracles lived a very storied life, but we already know Jason’s going to show up eventuall, so let’s focus on his Argonaut days. Heracles is a Marine, giving him proficiency in Athletics and Survival. The Steady feat lets Heracles move twice as long at a normal pace before making a forced march, and he can always find a safe route to bring a boat to shore, if such a route exists. I’m not sure if they ever mention the argonaut’s exact roles on the boat, but picturing the berserker as the Argo’s navigator is hilarious.

Stats

Your highest stat is Strength: you are the strongest in the world after all. After that is Constitution, you’re very good at not dying, and your health will help with that. You have mad hops, so Dexterity is going to be third. (I know strength is the jumping stat in D&D, but it feels dexterity-ish.) You aren’t that charming, but you are absolutely terrifying, so next is Charisma. After that is Wisdom and Intelligence. You’ll see this is a running theme in berserkers.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Shocking no one, you’re a barbarian. At first level, you have proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Intimidation and Animal Handling. A giant, screaming slab of meat is scary for most people, and a good portion of your labors involved dealing with animals in one way or another. 

Barbarians can Rage, giving them all sorts of strength-based advantages and resistance to basic physical attacks as long as you avoid heavy armor. Speaking of armor, you also get Unarmored Defense at this level, granting you a boosted AC based on your dexterity and constitution.

2. Sorcerer 1: Switching classes for the first and only time, first level sorcerers gain their Sorcerous Origin. You are a Divine Soul sorcerer, meaning that despite the family drama, you’re Favored by the Gods. This gives you an extra spell, (Cure Wounds for a stronger healing factor) the ability to pick spells from both the sorcerer and cleric lists, and once per short rest you can add 2d4 to a failed save or attack throw. This is super important for you because your wisdom is low, and it’s not getting any higher. The only thing worse than a barely controllable mountain of rage helping you is a barely controllable mountain of rage that isn’t helping you.

For spells, grab Resistance for further save enhancement, Thaumaturgy to save your vocal chords while screaming, Booming Blade and Lightning Lure as gifts from dear old dad, Jump for some extra mobility, and Protection from Evil and Good to maybe get your stepmom off your back.

3. Barbarian 2: Second level barbarians get Reckless Attack, giving yourself advantage for a turn in exchange for giving anyone hitting you advantage until your next turn. When your skin’s that tough, you don’t really care about leaving an opening. Your Danger Sense gives you advantage on dex saves against effects you can see. It’s more like you’re tough enough to shrug off whatever’s hitting you than you actually dodging.

Third level Aasimar also get a Necrotic Shroud, an action that transforms you into a monstrous form for a minute. Creatures near you need to make a charisma save or become frightened, and once per turn you can add necrotic damage equal to your level to an attack.

4. Barbarian 3: Third level barbarians set down their Primal Path. The path of the zealot gives you Divine Fury, letting you add 1d6 plus half your barbarian level in radiant damage to your first hit each turn. Even like this, there’s still a bit of divinity in you. You also become a Warrior of the Gods; resurrections spells don’t require material components to work on you. We haven’t reached the point where your immortality kicks in yet, but this will keep you alive until we get there.

5. Barbarian 4: Your first ASI is going to boost your Constitution, for more health, AC, and concentration.

6. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians gain an Extra Attack, letting you make one more attack with each attack action. Your NP adds a couple more in, but we’ll take what we can get. Your Fast Movement also gives you 10′ of extra movement when not wearing heavy armor. You can only jump as far as your normal movement limit, so this will help you make some truly impressive leaps. Or just chase down the poor bastard who’s threatening Ilya.

7. Barbarian 6: The zealot’s Fanatical Focus lets you reroll a failed save while raging, once per rage. The only saves you’re really good at are strength and constitution, so we’ll take whatever we can get.

8. Barbarian 7: Your Feral Instinct gives you advantage on initiative rolls, and you can rage at the start of combat to ignore being surprised. You’re not the one who gets attacked, you’re the one who does the attacking.

9. Barbarian 8: Use your next ASI for more Strength. To be the strongest in the world, you have to be the strongest you can be.

10. Barbarian 9: Your Brutal Critical adds an extra die when you deal critical damage to a creature. You’ve got a big sword, let’s make it even bigger.

11. Barbarian 10: Your Zealous Presence lets you inspire other party members as well. Once per long rest you can use your bonus action to give 10 other creatures advantage on  attacks and saves until your next turn. You’re so good at not dying, you can even help other people avoid doing so.

12. Barbarian 11: Your guts finally kicks in at this level. Relentless Rage prevents you from dropping to 0 HP if you make a DC 10 Constitution save. on  a success, you don’t die, and the save’s DC increases by 5 until you take a break. Appropriately enough, with your current Constitution you can pull this off three times per rest, meaning you’ve gone from no bond CE to one bond CE in a single level.

13. Barbarian 12: At twelfth level, max out your Strength. If you want to get even stronger, I’d suggest convincing your DM to let you start worshiping Iroas. Or Ares, if you want to keep it in the family.

14. Barbarian 13: Thirteenth level barbarians gain a second bonus die for their Brutal Critical. You might think about switching to a greataxe at this point to take the most advantage of your extra dice. Consistency is good, being able to crush your enemies in a single blow is better.

15. Barbarian 14: Congratulations! You aren’t killed when you die now! Your Rage Beyond Death lets you put off unconsciousness and death until the end of your rage. Now your ability to survive only depends on how much hitting you can fit into one minute.

16. Barbarian 15: Remember what I just said about hitting? Now it’s not a problem. Your Persistent Rage means your rage doesn’t stop until you choose to. You can now survive a full minute after you die, no strings attached.

17. Barbarian 16: We’re switching things up for this penultimate ASI. Grab the Tough feat for 34 extra HP now, and another two extra HP each time you level up. You have a lot of not dying options, but discretion is the better part of valor.

18. Barbarian 17: Your Brutal Critical increases to an extra third die when you crit. This shouldn’t surprise you by now, but you hitting people really, really hurts. If the stars align (or you’re working with Merlin), you might be able to put some weaker servants in the ground with a single turn’s worth of crits by this point.

19. Barbarian 18: You are the strongest in the world, and it’s time to start acting like it. Your Indomitable Might means that every strength check you make always turns out to be at least your Strength Score, i.e. 20. Unlike reliable talent, this affects the total, not just the roll. A 20 every time is still really good though. Maybe now you’ll be able to open that jar of pickles Ilya’s been complaining about.

20. Barbarian 19: Your capstone level leaves you with one last ASI. Grab some more Constitution for more health and a higher chance at passing your Relentless Rage saves.

Pros: I’m not sure if you noticed that thing I said at level 18, but you deal a lot of damage when you swing that big chunk of metal around. You’re also really hard to kill: You have a ton of HP to chew through, and even when you die, you don’t die, and when you do die, it still takes about a minute to properly kick in. You’d think that toughness and damage would put you in Mighty Glacier territory, but on top of all that you’re not slow either. You’re just a bit faster than most people, and you have Jump to boost you into places you wouldn’t think you could reach. Anything that has to get within sword’s reach of you to fight you is pretty screwed.

Cons: Anything that can stay out of your reach can completely screw you over though. Your longest range attack is Lightning Lure, and that only has a range of 15′. Also, your mental saves are terrible, and there’s only so much your features can protect you from in one go. 

Finally, that one sorcerer level we took for extra save power also means you’re technically not the strongest you could be. The final level of barbarian would have given you an additional 4 points to strength and constitution. You don’t do too many attacks in one go, so the strength isn’t the end of the world, and the extra health would give you even more longevity.

However, I stand by the sorcerer multiclass. The extra points on your saves can be applied to your weak points, rather than just focused on things you’re already good at, and you can enjoy the benefit at level 2, rather than 20. You does your best work between 0 and 1 HP anyway.

Overall, this build and what you want to do with it are simple: just hit the red until they’re dead, and everything will work out fine. Also: don’t let Jason talk you into doing anything.

Next up: It’s a lovely morning in Camelot, and you are a horrible knight.

[spill-the-milk-tea]

My Thoughts On “A Whisker Away”

Warnings: spoilers, mentions of suicide/self-harm

A Whisker Away could have done better in a lot of areas, but it’s by no means bad, and the plot and overall concept make up for most of its shortcomings. Clearly Netflix is working hard to emulate the Ghibli formula, and while their attempts have all been misses so far, they have been gradually getting closer—and this is a big step away from the disaster that was Ni No Kuni. Better script writers and more time spent on animation is my only suggestion—scripts have always been a struggle for Netflix, which goes hand in hand with my second suggestion, because they’re focused on churning out new content.

Still, I think this would be a great film to show to children and young adults struggling with suicidal thoughts. Having this omen of destruction in the form of a cat, representing Miyo’s constant self-doubt, was actually very poignant. The first time we see Miyo’s mask fall and we see her real, bitter feelings is when she sees the first cat in the movie, which perfectly reflects her self-hatred. The way the Mask Seller speaks is clearly meant to represent Miyo’s inner dialogue, as she is hesitant to protest to them at first, but when they suggest going full-cat, she adamantly tells the voice to shut up.

While a lot of the other messages were sort of thrown in our face, I appreciate that some of the best symbolic ones were kept subtle rather than exposition-dumped on us. For example, Hinode only turning into a cat via his hands keys us into the fact that the cat transformation is dependent on self-hatred. Hinode feels like he’ll never be good enough to become a potter, thus he loses his hands. I actually like that they chose to go this route, as ridiculous as it was, because it subtly suggested to the audience that “becoming a cat” (aka suicide) isn’t a choice anyone can make just based on difficult circumstances.

I feel like the creep-factor on the Mask Seller could have been played up more, but I guess presenting him as this eccentric character that almost seemed to have the main character’s best interest at heart works better for the metaphor. He seemed mostly unassuming and non-threatening, and weird as he was, he made a convincing case. His concept as a villain is actually very cool. This idea that he steals the lives of those who don’t want them anymore, combined with his drug-dealer archetype is very unique. He preys on people who already hate themselves, luring them into thinking their lives aren’t worth living anymore, giving them a taste of freedom through his cat mask (aka self-harm). Once they’re hooked, he convinces them to make the full leap, whether they truly want it or not. The sort of momentary, but ultimately unsatisfying relief of self-harm to a suicidal person is captured very eloquently in the cat transformation metaphor. It’s actually quite dark how Miyo is so adamant about not transforming at first, but in a matter of days, after one particularly traumatic incident, she’s fully committed.

The connection between the feline and depression metaphor got a little messy near the end, but still nonetheless made an emotional impact. The cat believed that by taking someone else’s face, they could show their owner the love they deserved. Kinako showed a clear disdain for Miyo for not showing Kaoru the love she deserved, and sort of acted as this physical representation of Miyo feeling like she didn’t truly belong in the family. Of course, the owner loves them as a cat, not as someone else. The whole cat stealing human lives thing doesn’t play much into a bigger picture past just representing how as much as it may seem like it, becoming someone else or trying to take someone else’s spot won’t make us truly happy. And I think Kinako realizing it’s better to live out her own short life making Kaoru happy was a short but very sweet subplot.

The scene that really touched me most, surprisingly, was just seeing how Yori so persistently apologized to Miyo as she ran away from her. It so perfectly encapsulated the guilt that friends and family of suicidal ones feel when they see this person they care about clearly suffering. Yori clearly had Miyo’s best interests at heart and genuinely stayed by Miyo’s side through all of her troubles, and is a great example of how to be a supportive friend to a depressed person. She never coddled or pitied Miyo, but she was clearly worried when Miyo started acting “off”, and even then tried to stick by Miyo’s side and be supportive.

Muge is definitely eccentric and painfully cringy, but that in itself makes her a realistic teenage girl character (and a neurotypical adult male doesn’t get to paint her valid character flaws as failings on her or the writers’ part damn it.) Her feelings and thoughts start off as seeming very weird and childish, but gradually you come to understand her reasoning the more the movie goes on. Having been abandoned at such a young age, she pushes people away deep down in her heart, thinking that no one can ever truly love her. She was deeply damaged and never felt like she could really trust anyone again, viewing everyone as either selfish or irrelevant (represented by scarecrows.) This at first seems to just symbolize how other people seemingly don’t matter when she sees the guy she likes, but when she transforms her own parents into scarecrows, we see it represents her pushing people away from her. She tries to act like she doesn’t need other people to love her, when deep down, she really wants proof that someone can truly love her despite her eccentricities, as seen in her obsession to make Hinode confess to her.

One of the points in this metaphor I felt was lacking was that they didn’t really address how Miyo’s psychological reliance on Hinode as this perfect guy that would solve all her problems because of his apparent loyalty was sort of toxic? They definitely established it as over idealized and somewhat exaggerated with that whole Cinderella-transformation scene, where you can clearly see that she believes Hinode loving her will solve all of her problems. In the end I suppose it’s countered with her finally being accepted by Hinode and her accepting him in return, and her realizing that’s all she really wanted.

I did appreciate the background noise of Hinode telling the Mask Seller that it wasn’t Miyo’s fault her life was difficult, because it really puts things into perspective. The Mask Seller took advantage of Miyo’s trauma, just as it isn’t the fault of a suicidal person when their negative thoughts overtake them. That’s why we first see the mask seller when Miyo is at one of her lowest points—when she’s with her mother, attempting but failing to overcome her feelings of abandonment as she first begins to shut her out; and having just moved in with her stepmother, clearly overwhelmed with emotional burdens. I also thought it was interesting that they explained her not transforming back as deep down not wanting to be a human again. She still didn’t believe herself as being capable of being loved, and it took her realizing that she needs to love the people in her life first before she can truly start to heal. And it’s true, there’s a difference between not wanting to die and actually overcoming your depression.

In any case, Miyo’s thought process was almost painfully accurate. The way she lashed out at her parents for wanting her to stop smiling if she didn’t feel like it was something I definitely went through. It’s hard to explain, and definitely irrational, but in the most cold and logical sense, being told to give up your coping mechanism by the people who you feel are causing you to use said coping mechanism feels really offensive in the moment. She was using up so much emotional energy acting like she was okay for her parents, so she felt like it wasn’t their right to ask if she was okay. 

It was a really brief, but sad moment when we saw the difference between how she perceived her favorite meal at her house as opposed to when Hinode gave it to her. It wasn’t meant to show that her feelings of depression were circumstantial so much as it highlighted her abnormal mood swings, as well as how the root of her depression, so to speak, stemmed from her home life. And while I don’t agree entirely with how their relationship played out, I cannot agree more that seeing a person you care about suffering from self-hatred snaps you out of your own dark thoughts so quick. Miyo was quick to see Hinode’s good traits and to rationalize that he didn’t need to hate himself, but she couldn’t do it with herself. It took the thought of Hinode also possibly losing his life for her to snap out of her suicidal state of mind. Most suicidal people rationalize that the people around them would be fine if they died, or even preferred it, so Hinode showing through both actions and words that he didn’t want her to “turn into a cat forever” helped her start to value her own life. 

It was a stark contrast between me as the viewer, feeling like Miyo’s transformation was technically Hinode’s fault, and Miyo, who felt like she needed to transform for Hinode’s sake because she loved him so much. Wanting to die because of the boy she loved may seem like a stretch in the terms of the metaphor, but that’s the point. The things the Mask Seller says are inherently illogical, but he says them when the person is at their weakest emotionally, which makes it easier to convince them. In the end, both Miyo and Hinode were able to free themselves of their masks (aka their irrational self-hatred) when Miyo realized that Hinode genuinely wanted to get to know her, and Hinode stopped feeling like he needed to hold back so Miyo wouldn’t see he was a “nobody”. Essentially, being honest and vulnerable with one another.

Overall, I think having this “Mask Stealer” as this antagonist representing suicidal thoughts gives new meaning to the idea of one “taking away their own life” and is actually really eye opening to those who may be facing similar situations as Miyo. The message is cheesy, but the creative way in which they tackled adolescent depression and suicide is worth watching.

[whumphoarder]

D is for Diploma

Summary: Between all of his commitments, Peter’s grades start slipping, putting him in danger of losing his academic scholarship to Midtown. Stressed and guilt-ridden about the effect this will have on May’s finances, he ends up worrying himself sick and having a breakdown in Tony’s lab.

Word count: 3,759

Genre: emotional hurt/comfort, angst, hurt/comfort

A/N: Thanks so much to @xxx-cat-xxx and @sallyidss for beta reading and encouragement <3

Link to read on Ao3

“But how are you getting a C in gym class?” Ned balks at his friend. He’s peering over Peter’s shoulder as he scrolls through his quarterly grades on the school library computer. “Everyone gets an A. I’m getting an A. All you gotta do is show up and at least look like you’re trying and boom, automatic A.”

Peter rubs a hand at the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, remember after the Rhino dude attacked me, how I had all those bruises that didn’t heal right away?”

“Yeah...” Ned recalls, frowning. “But you said they didn’t hurt.”

“They didn’t! Not really, anyway,” Peter says quickly. “But like, I didn’t really want everyone to see that, so I kinda didn’t change into my uniform. And apparently if you don’t change, Wilson just marks you as absent.”

“Ah.” Ned gives him a sympathetic wince. “Yeah, that’s lame.”

“What I don’t understand,” MJ pipes up, glancing up from the book she’s had her nose in all afternoon, “is the D in Spanish. Rodríguez isn’t even a hard teacher.”

Peter’s face flushes with embarrassment. “So… I might have forgotten to submit a couple assignments.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “You forgot? He reminds us what’s due, like, three times every class period.”

“I mean, it was just the take-home quiz...” he mumbles. “And some of the homework sheets. Oh, and that cultural essay thing about the ancient Mayans.”

“Peter.” She blinks at him. “That was like, twenty percent of our grade.”

“Well, to be fair, I did have a concussion,” he defends. “It was a little hard to remember stuff that week.”

Ned rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.”

Peter huffs out a laugh. Honestly, between all the hours he’s been logging lately as Spider-Man, his frequent internship nights with Tony in the lab, the increasingly demanding decathlon practice schedule as their team moves toward regionals, and the weekend shifts he’s started picking up at Delmar’s (because, let’s face it, the vigilante life isn’t the most lucrative career path—the occasional free churro notwithstanding), Peter thinks he’s been doing quite well juggling everything. Sure, his grades aren’t quite the neat row of A’s and the occasional B he’s grown accustomed to throughout his school career, but it’s not like he’s failing anything.

“I’ve just got different priorities now,” Peter says with a shrug. “I still show up and I’m passing all my classes, so what does the grade matter?”

MJ returns the shrug, looking vaguely impressed with him. “It doesn’t really. I’ve always been morally opposed to using arbitrary numerical values as a measure of academic success.” She shifts her gaze back to her novel before adding, offhandedly, “But you gotta admit, the tuition break is nice.”

And in those nine little words, she might as well have punched him in the gut.

“Oh shit,” Peter breathes out. Hurriedly, he starts gathering books together and getting to his feet.

“What?” Ned asks, looking puzzled.

“Um, I gotta go,” he blurts. And then before anyone can say another word, he’s out of the library doors.

X

The Parkers aren’t poor, exactly.

May works full-time at her job as a neonatal nurse, besides picking up extra shifts one or two nights a month to give them a bit of cushion. Between her wages and the social security checks that come every month from Ben’s pension, the two of them get by. Sure, Peter might not have name-brand clothes or the coolest tech or even a pair of gym shoes without a bit of duct tape on the soles, but there’s always been food on the table and a roof over his head, so Peter’s never stressed that much about their financial situation.

Maybe that’s how he managed to completely forget about his academic scholarship.

He’s qualified for it ever since he passed Midtown’s entrance exams in the top tenth percentile back in eighth grade. The money is substantial—slightly over two-thirds of the tuition cost is paid for him—and the scholarship automatically renews every semester provided he maintains a grade point average of 3.3 or higher, which has never been a problem for him.

That is, up until now. Factoring in his B in history, the C’s in gym and trig, and his D in Spanish, his GPA is currently sitting at 2.9.

Peter is going to lose his scholarship.

X

With less than two weeks left before finals, Peter starts cramming in all the studying he can manage. He stays up late, pouring over his trigonometry notes, trying to work his way through all the practice problems he’s been slacking on. He makes a point of showing up three minutes early to gym class every day, even if he has to use a bit of his enhanced speed to get all the way there from the chem labs on the other side of the building. On the train, he quizzes himself on the names of historical figures and the dates of battles long-since fought. Some of his teachers are willing to work with him, letting him turn in late assignments for partial credit or giving him additional projects to complete.

And then there’s Spanish.

“Isn’t there some kind of extra credit project I can do?” Peter begs. “Anything?”

It’s his study hall period and he’s at Señor Rodríguez’s desk for the second day in a row, desperately hoping for anything that could give his grade the boost it needs.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” his teacher says, sounding genuinely regretful. “But you’ve had countless opportunities this semester to get your grade up via homework and test retakes, all of which you neglected to take advantage of. Coming to me with less than ten days left in the semester requesting make up work for assignments worth significant percentages of your grade is simply too little, too late.”

“But… I had a concussion that week,” Peter argues. “Like, right when it was all due. And I would have done the work before, but…” He trails off, unable to finish his sentence without explaining his unorthodox extracurriculars. “I...I was busy,” he concludes weakly.

Rodríguez raises an eyebrow a little skeptically. “I didn’t receive any notes from the nurse’s office about this concussion.”

Peter glances down to his feet. “Well, that’s because she didn’t know, exactly…”

No one did—not even May. After getting all those bruises the week before, Peter didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt again so soon. Apparently Karen hadn’t deemed the blow to the head he took severe enough to override his wishes. He’d just dealt with the headaches and brain fog the best he could and sort of floated through that week on his own. In hindsight, maybe not his best plan.

“Well, I guess this is a good life lesson for you then, Peter,” Rodríguez says. His voice is firm, but not unkind. “Part of growing up is taking responsibility and learning to communicate with authority figures before you get into trouble.”

“Right, and I get that,” Peter babbles, “I just—”

His teacher holds up a finger, quieting him. “My job is to train my students for success in the real world, and sometimes that means reminding you that actions have consequences. ¿Lo entiendes?”

And Peter finds himself nodding. Because, despite the pool of dread growing in his gut, he does understand. He wants to be mad, wants to say it’s unfair and the universe gave him a raw deal and he doesn’t deserve this. But he can’t. Rodríguez is right.

And Peter’s still fucked.

X

By the time Friday rolls around, Peter’s barely functioning. Besides all the extra assignments and studying for finals, he’s had three days in a row of Decathlon practices, followed by some particularly eventful evening patrols that all went quite a bit later than his usual curfew of ten p.m.

He can’t get much of his lunch down today, which does nothing to appease his friends’ concerned looks. The food seems tasteless in his mouth and he’s so tired he nearly nods off into his cafeteria chicken nuggets.

When school finally lets out, he’s surprised and a little disheartened to see the sleek black car waiting for him in the bus circle. He’d totally forgotten it was an internship weekend.

Figures.

X

Peter groans as he disconnects the circuits he just switched out. He’s been trying to fix a bug in his suit’s heater upgrade for the last twenty minutes now, but nothing he attempts is working and his head is throbbing so much that his vision is hazy.

“Just try again, kid,” Tony encourages absently from across the workshop. He’s not looking up, fully engrossed as he is in his own project. “You got this.”

“Yeah...” Peter mutters under his breath. Blinking a few times, he rubs a hand at his eyes to try to clear his vision.

He connects a different wire. That one doesn’t yield any better results, so he unplugs it and tries again. Then again. Then again. He’s fairly sure he’s already tried the next combination, but he’s so tired he can’t remember so he does it again just to be sure. Nothing.

Peter is so frustrated now that his hands are actually shaking. He pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again.

This time, the wire sparks at him.

“I can’t do this!” Peter exclaims, shoving the suit away from him across the table. “I can’t do anything! Why am I so fucking stupid?!”

He’s breathing heavily now, tears clouding his vision even further. Within a few seconds he feels Tony’s hand rest heavily on his shoulder. It should be comforting, but it only makes Peter feel pathetic.

“C’mon, just take a deep breath and—”

“No!” Peter blurts, shaking away from Tony’s grip. “That’s not going to fix anything! I can’t fix this—don’t you see?!”

Stepping backwards, Tony holds his hands up in front of his chest, keeping his expression perfectly neutral. “Okay…” he says carefully. “I think you might need a break.”

Tears prick at Peter’s eyes and he instantly regrets snapping at his mentor. “No, no, I didn’t mean that! I’m s-sorry, ’m fine…” he says. It would probably sound a lot more convincing if his breath would stop hitching.

Tony lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah, no, I’m pulling rank here,” he declares. “It’s break time.”

“No!” Peter protests. His hands fumble back on the table for the wires.  “I gotta finish it! It’s so close, it’s just—” He cuts himself off as the images of the suit swim before his eyes, his head throbbing. “I, I need to finish…” he concludes lamely.

“Peter, just stop,” Tony says with an exasperated sigh. “You’re no good like this.”

Somehow, those words are the catalyst. Peter feels every emotion he’s been bottling up for the past week erupt inside of him. His breath hitches and his head pulses. “I, I know I’m not,” he manages to say, “but that’s why I gotta… gotta finish, then maybe—”

“Jesus, kid,” Tony breathes out. “That’s not what I meant at all. I was just saying—”

Peter cuts him off. “No, I… I know…” Tears are sliding down Peter’s cheeks now. He runs a hand through his hair, shoulders shaking. “’M sorry.”

Tony’s eyes are a mixture of concern and confusion. “Whoa, hey, what’s going on here?” Tugging the edge of his sleeve over his thumb, Tony uses it to wipe a few of the tears off his cheeks. “Talk to me.”

Honestly, Peter doesn’t even know where to begin. The frustration of his current project, the lack of sleep, his grades, the scholarship…

“I just… I-I have a headache.”

Peter doesn’t know why he says it—the pressure in his skull doesn’t even rank very high on his list of concerns at the moment, yet the simple physicality of it somehow makes it the easiest thing to admit. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, but his vision is still so blurry. “Can’t really see straight…”

Tony’s brows knit together. “Is it a migraine?”

“N-No,” Peter says between choked sobs. “Or... I don’t know, I don’t th-think so?” Despite never having had a migraine, he’s pretty sure that’s not what this is. The pain isn’t anything exceptional—it’s just that he can’t seem to stop crying and he’s so fucking tired.

“Either way, I think you’ll feel better once you’ve got a couple painkillers in you,” Tony reasons. “C’mon, let’s get you sorted out.”

Peter shakes his head in weak protest. “No, ’s’okay... “

“Nope,” Tony says, his voice a little more firm. “Trust me on this, you don’t want to work in a lab right now. It’s bright, and loud, and honestly, you’re a bit of a safety hazard at the moment.”

To Peter’s horror, a fresh wave of emotion comes over him and he finds himself properly crying now, his frame wracking with each sob.

“Okay, okay, alright…” Tony murmurs, and Peter feels a hand awkwardly patting him on the back.

It’s all so idiotic, Peter decides, standing in Tony’s lab, crying over things that are completely his own fault and a headache that isn’t even that bad.

“You’re okay, kid,” Tony whispers. “Just breathe.”

As Peter struggles to pull himself together, he feels the hand switch to rubbing circles on his back. It moves up to the back of his neck, but halts as soon as Tony’s fingers touch Peter’s bare skin.

Tony frowns. “Do you have a fever?”

“Wh-What?” Peter’s throat is thick.

“You’re really warm,” Tony explains. He flips his hand around to press the back of his fingers to Peter’s skin, first on his neck, then on his cheek. “Yeah. FRIDAY, can we get a read on that?”

“100.7, boss,” she supplies.

Tony hums a bit. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought…”

Peter doesn’t get it. “B-But I’m not sick,” he protests. “Just—”

“Exhausted,” Tony finishes for him. “When’s the last time you had a full night’s sleep?”

Sniffling, Peter gives a non-committal shrug.

“Yeah, that’s not good, kid,” Tony huffs. “Take it from a guy who has a bit of experience in this area—not sleeping enough will seriously mess you up.”

With a hand on Peter’s back, Tony starts gently ushering the kid out of the lab. Peter doesn’t even bother protesting anymore as he shuffles along, his lip quivering. He figures he’s caused enough trouble today.

Tony deposits him onto the couch in the living room and Peter immediately curls up against the arm rest, squeezing his eyelids shut in an effort not to think about what a fool he’s making of himself in front of his mentor. It doesn’t help much.

“You just chill out for a minute here, okay?” Tony says quietly, draping a blanket over Peter. “I’m gonna get you some meds.”

Peter nods and Tony gives his shoulder a final squeeze before stepping out.

The second he’s alone, the tears start streaming down again, hot and silent and totally uncontrollable. If he’s not working in the lab, then he really should be studying for these stupid finals, but he can’t bring himself to pull out his flash cards. He doesn’t think he can rest—not with so much hanging over his head—but he can’t work either. Tony was right; he’s just no good right now.

When Tony reenters with painkillers and a glass of water, he doesn’t say anything about how Peter is hurriedly sitting up and scrubbing his face with his hands in a pointless attempt to pull himself together. He just presses two pills into Peter’s palm.

Looking down at the painkillers in his shaking hand, Peter’s stomach twists and he’s suddenly not so sure they’ll be able to stay down. “I can’t. I feel sick,” he admits in a whisper.

With a quiet sigh, Tony perches himself on the edge of the sofa, right beside Peter’s tucked knees. “I think you’re just tired, kiddo. Sometimes that makes you feel a little sick.”

Peter doesn’t say anything so Tony passes him the glass of water. “Here. Humor me,” he says. “If I’m wrong, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning.”

It’s a stupid joke, but the corners of Peter’s lips twitch anyway. “Okay,” he croaks.

Peter slips the pills into his mouth and swallows them down with a sip of water. He’s queasy, but it’s not too bad. He goes to set the cup back down on the coffee table, but his mentor shakes his head.

“Drink the whole thing,” Tony instructs.

Peter obeys. It takes him a couple of minutes, but he manages to get the entire cup down and feels just the smallest bit better for it.

Tony takes the empty glass from his hand and sets it on the table. “Think you can sleep now?”

Peter just shrugs. He wants to—god, he wants to—but he doesn’t deserve it. Not when this is all his own damn fault. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks again:

“I think I really messed up, Mr. Stark.”

X

Over the next ten minutes, it all comes tumbling out: the job at Delmar’s, the decathlon requirements, the late patrols, his slipping grades, his scholarship, everything.

“I just… I don’t want to change schools,” Peter concludes softly. “I like Midtown. It was the first place I really felt like… well, like I fit in.”

Tony’s been quiet for the whole time Peter was speaking, but now his brow furrows. “Why would you need to quit Midtown?”

Peter blinks at him; isn’t it obvious? “Because the full tuition is eight thousand dollars a semester. Without the scholarship…” he trails off. “I just can’t do that to May.”

A look of relief spreads across Tony’s face. “Is that all? That’s the whole issue?” He huffs out an amused breath. “Done. Consider it paid. Problem solved.”

Peter feels his cheeks flush. He shakes his head frantically. “No, no, I didn’t mean that you should pay! Please don’t do that!”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to blink at him. “Peter. I am a multi-billionaire. Do you have any idea what eight thousand dollars is to me?”

“But you shouldn’t have t—”

“Peanuts,” Tony cuts him off. “I’ve spent more on peanuts than that.”

“But—”

“And by that I mean actual, honest-to-god peanuts,” Tony continues over the kid’s protests. “There’s this company in Peru that slow-roasts them for twenty-one days in a secret spice blend. Happy’s obsessed with ‘em—says they’re god’s gift to mankind. So, for Christmas one year—”

“You can’t pay my tuition!” Peter blurts out.

Tony stops his story abruptly. His eyes narrow at Peter. “And why exactly is that?”

“Because…” Running a hand through his hair, Peter draws in a shuddery breath. “Because… If anyone should pay, it’s me. I-I’m the one who fucked up and lost the stupid scholarship. I should be the one responsible for fixing this.”

“But you can’t fix it,” Tony says bluntly.

Peter’s caught off-guard. “Wh-What? N-No, I just need to get my grades up, and, and…”

Tony’s voice is gentler now. “You can’t, Peter. You can’t get a 2.9 up to a 3.3 by next week, no matter how well you do on your exams. You’ve gotta know that.”

(Peter does know. He’s known for days. He’s always been good at math, after all.)

“So you can’t keep going on like this, trying to make up for what happened,” Tony concludes.

Tears prick at the corners of Peter’s eyes once more. He’s determined not to let them fall this time. “But I deserve it…” he whispers.

Tony shrugs. “If we always got what we deserved, I never would have made it through the 90s.” He huffs out a short laugh. “At least nobody has to bail you out of prison. Same can’t be said for all of us.”

In spite of Peter’s earlier resolve, the traitorous tears slip out anyway. He wonders how he has any left.

Tony sobers a bit. “You’re a good kid, Pete,” he says quietly. “But you’re trying to carry the whole world on your shoulders and that’s enough to break anyone. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. Even if you fucked up.”

Peter swallows hard. “Okay.”

“So let’s try this again,” Tony says. He makes eye contact with Peter. “What do you need, kid?”

“Right now?” Peter exhales deeply. “I dunno. A nap?”

Tony smirks slightly. “I think we can manage that.”

X

Peter makes it through finals.

All his extra effort and studying does yield some results. His gym grade increases to a B after Coach Wilson grades his two-page extra credit report on the rules of badminton. The trig final is rough, but he pulls in another couple points there, and the art teacher accepts a few late sketches from the unit on perspectivism. With the help of the final exam, he even manages to eek out a C- in Spanish.

When it’s all said and done, Peter’s GPA sits at 3.1.

“That wasn’t easy to do. I’m proud of you, Peter,” May says sincerely. “You know that, right?”

Peter shrugs. “I guess so.”

They’re sitting together at the apartment’s small kitchen table, May’s open laptop in front of them with all of Peter’s end of semester grades displayed. Peter’s eyes drift down from the screen to the table where a check for eight thousand dollars signed by Tony Stark himself is staring back at him. He sighs.

May plants a quick kiss on the top of her nephew’s head. “Well, I know so. So for now, I’ll just know it for the both of us.”

Peter strokes his fingers over the crisp paper of the check. Besides covering tuition, Tony has now upgraded Peter’s unofficial SI internship to a paid position—something he says he should have done long ago, given how much time Peter spends working in the lab—and that will allow him to give Mr. Delmar his two-week notice.

He knows he should be grateful, but honestly, it’s going to take him some time to wrap his head around the concept of being taken care of like this.

Getting up from the table, May moves over to retrieve a small paper bag from the counter. “That reminds me—Mr. Stark told me to give you this.” She tosses the bag to Peter, who catches it easily.

Curiously, he opens it. He’s immediately hit with the aroma of exotic spices and roasted legumes. Peter can’t help but grin.

A note inside the bag reads: Enjoy your peanuts, kid.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, you might also like: 

Viral Wisdom

Go Down Swinging

A Pressing Emergency

Fic Masterlist

[quirkwizard]

Quirkworks: A Wizard’s Guide to Making Quirks and Characters

Please note that this is a guide. I am not telling you how to make your Quirk or your character, merely explaining my personal process of what I think constitutes a good Quirk and character.

-Quirk Name

The name of your Quirk should be short and pithy; something that rolls off the tongue and is easy remember. It should quickly convey what your Quirk is about. To accomplish this, it is best to keep the name of your Quirk to one to two words and under six syllables, using abbreviations or compound words can help with this if you want to get a specific idea across, and apply wordplay when appropriate.

-Quirk Type 

While this is mostly understood throughout the fandom, it bares clarifying. The three types of Quirks can be boiled down as such.

Mutant: A permanent alteration to the body. Transformation: A temporary but notable alteration to the body. Emitter: Everything else.

I even made a little chart to help make things clear:

-Inspiration-Where the Quirk is from

While it is not necessary to do so when making a Quirk, a fair amount of Quirks have been inspired by other characters. However, as characters usually have many powers, it is best if you take one aspect of that character and make it into a power. For example, if you wanted to make a Quirk based around Wolverine, he has several abilities you could base a Quirk off of. Regeneration, Claw Protrusion, Metal Bones, Enhanced Senses, or even Berserk Rage.

It’s doesn’t need to be a perfect translation either as long as you get the general idea of the power across. For instance, Spider Man’s abilities of Wall Crawling and Web Slinging are represented in “Slide and Glide” and “Tape” respectively. Keep in mind, some abilities must be weakened to fit within the setting. 

If you want to make a Quirk based off of something you may not know much about, you should do a little research into what the effects may be. I recommend something meant to teach kids, since it is teaches whatever information you may need in the quickest and simplest way possible so you won’t need read to deep into it.

-Integration- What the Quirk does

It is important to be clear on exactly what it does, as it is set up for how the rest of the Quirk works. Quirks are a singular ability, which can often be described in under a sentence or two. What can be done with the Quirk is taken from that single idea. And while there are multiple uses for a Quirk, it is all based around that single ability. Captain Celebrity doesn’t just fly and have super strength, he has a special barrier which allows him to fly, but he can control in order to replicate super strength. Though small, unspoken aspects can be added to help the Quirk function without it being that big of a deal. IE Stain not getting sick from drinking blood or Bakugou’s arms being resilient enough to withstand the explosions he produces. 

However, some abilities can have minor additions to their power set. This is fine as long as it makes sense for a Quirk to have an ability to function or if it something small that doesn’t really hurt anything by having it included. For instance, “Lizard Tail Splitter” comes with a healing factor. This makes sense as the user needs to detach their body parts and could easily lose them. “Queen Bee”’s bees having syringe stingers is not that big of an issue in the grand scheme of the Quirk.

If you ever find yourself questioning how a Quirk functions, it’s best to just chalk it up to what I like to call Quirk Magic. It’s basically the part of the Quirk that allows the Quirk to do what it does, like Uraraka being able to make things float or the part of Ectoplasm that allows him to make the goo he does. This doesn’t excuse not thinking through how a Quirk functions, such as not having real world physics or consequences apply to what they do, just try not to overthink it.

-Application-What can be done with the Quirk

This is taking the basic ability and coming up with all of the possibilities it has. Just try to keep it reasonable within the confines of the Quirk you have set up. For instance, Bakugou is able to propel himself around via the force of his explosions, which is a reasonable use of the ability with how his Quirk is set up. It would not fit is he suddenly began shooting explosions from his feet, healed people, or started shooting fireballs. This can be divided into the following categories.

Offense: How it can do damage Defense: How it can protect the user or others Mobility: How it can help the user get around Information: How it can gain knowledge Support: How it can help allies Hindering: How it can weaken enemies

Sometimes a Quirk can be given a certain advantage by how it functions. For instance, “Forced Quirk Activation” is a pretty mediocre power, but it is improved by the fact that the effect is delivered through the black spears which give it more range and the user can do other things with the black spears. “Tape” is a pretty okay Quirk, but is made better by it’s relatively unnoticeable drawback.

-Limitation- What keeps it from getting out of hand

Good rule of thumb: every power in the series has some inherent weakness to it. While it can be trained around or lessened in someway, it will always be a part of the Quirk. It would be best to follow some kind of logic with the limitations, such as a Quirk that enhances muscles requiring the user to train their muscles or a Quirk related to darkness has a weakness to light, and give each Quirk at least two drawbacks. However, there are some widely used choices you could pick or take inspiration from:

-Range of the Quirk      This often more of an exchange then a drawback. The stronger the ability, the shorter the range (”Overhaul”, “Compress”) -Focus on a certain body part (”Black Hole”, “Big Fist”) -Reliance on a finite resource      What the user eats, the Quirk draining their stamina (”Blood Control”, “Wave Motion”) -Reliance on the environment      Time of day, needing a substance around to control,  (”Dark Shadow”, “Cement”) -Reliance on the user’s mental state      How well they are emotionally or their ability to concentrate. (”Clones”, “Pop Off”)  -Reliance on a substance      Needing something to activate the Quirk (”Sugar Rush”, “Homing”) -Reliance on someone’s body      Something like their gender or blood type (”Magnetism”, “Blood Curdle”) -Backlash from overusing the Quirk (”Explosion”, “Electrification”) -Certain knowledge being necessary (”Creation”, “Warp Gate”) -Time limitation      An actual time limit or something else keeping the user from using the Quirk too long (”Permeation”, “Overclock”) -Complicated use      How difficult it is to activate or some innate problem with how it functions. (”Brainwashing”, “Attraction of Small Objects”) -Dangerous abilities      A lack of accuracy or just the through the sheer power of the ability. (”Decay”, “Knockout Gas”) -Limited application      This can be a problem even if the Quirk excels at it’s chosen application (”Telepath”, “Heal”) -Limited Capabilities      Limited or limiting speed, strength, or staying power of the Quirk (”Hardening”, “Telescopic”)

But I do recommend you try to stay away from drawbacks that are severe in how detrimental they are for the user. For example, a drawback that takes lifespan or drives the user insane are just so much of a handicap that it likely be too much of a problem to be worth dealing with no matter what the ability may be.

Let’s try this system on a few canon Quirks:

Quirk Name: Permeation Integration: The user can cause their body to pass through physical matter. Application: -Phasing through attacks and defenses -Shooting yourself at your enemies Limitation: -Everything, good or bad, passes through him, meaning he can’t harm anyone and he can’t see, hear, or even breath.

Quirk Name: Zero Gravity Integration: The user can put anything they touch with all five fingers into a state of zero gravity. Application: -Moving debris -Throwing enemies off balance. -Greater mobility for the user and their allies. -Dropping objects or people to damage them. Limitation: -Needing to touch something to activate the Quirk. -The user will have nausea if they use their Quirk too much or use it on something that is too heavy.

Quirk Name: Frog Integration: This Quirk gives the user all the traits of a frog. Application: -A long prehensile tongue to grab things or smack people. -Sticking to surfaces. -Strong legs to kick or jump around. -Camouflaging to blend in with the environment. Limitation: -The user is weak to the cold, and will enter a hibernation state if suddenly exposed.

Things to Avoid

While My Hero Academia is a very creative series, there are ideas and concepts that just don’t belong with how it has been done so far. Things that are generally supernatural, unfounded with what the series has set up thus far, or is simply too strong to fit within the scale the universe are best to be avoided. Examples like these include:

-Manipulation of Time, Space, Luck, or any other vague/powerful concepts -Anything having do with magic or religious figures     -You can take inspiration from stuff like this, just don’t overtly mention it like saying you are gaining power from the stars or becoming an actual angel. -Anything relating to the afterlife, undeath, or the soul -Creating life/intelligence from nothing, making something sentient, or forming something from fiction or imagination. -Something far above the level of power within the series.

Quirk Power

While it doesn’t have any sort of official “power level”, it does help give you a general scope of the series and the abilities there in. Just something to make it easier to classify your ability, what you want it to be, and how it may compare to the rest of the Quirks.

D Tier

The lowest tier, these Quirks are notable by their dull effects, lack of potential, or just having too many limitations to be practical in a majority of scenarios. These Quirks are often given to civilians; too weak or unimpressive to worth noting in most cases. They can be good, but it will take a lot of training.

Examples: “Attraction of Small Objects”, “Fly Swatter”, “Gecko”, “Invisibility”, “Leafipulation”, “Love”, “Permeation”, “Quad Arms”, “Tail”, “Telescopic”

C Tier

While stronger then D Tier, they are still not much to write home about. Quirks like this are generally stronger, but can sometimes have limited applications, or have strong effects with strong drawbacks. These Quirks are often given to weaker students or mook villains.

Examples: “Air Walk”, “Big Fist”, “Food”, “Knockout Gas”, “Leap”, “Pop Off”, “Sloshed”, “Telepath”, “Zoom”

B Tier

While stuck in the middle, this is where Quirks start to get impressive. Quirks in this group are have stronger effects, more versatile/applicable, or just have less notable drawbacks. These are often given to stronger villains or more remarkable students.

Examples: “Acid”, “Blade Tooth”, “Brainwashing”, “Clones”, “Dupli-Arms”, “Erasure”, “Explosion”, “High Spec”, “Lizard Tail Splitter”, “Voice”, “Zero Gravity”

A Tier

The more notable Quirks in the series. These Quirks are often just inherently more powerful then most or just have a broader power set then a majority of other Quirks. These belong to high profile heroes or villains.

Examples: “Compress”, “Earth Flow”, “Fat Absorption”, “Fierce Wings”, “Flight” “Gigantification”, “Hellflame”, “Meatball”, “Search”, “Sludge Form”

S Tier

Hands down some of the strongest Quirks within the series. These a notable by how unique they are in comparison to the rest of the Quirks we have seen, whether that is because of how strong the effect is, how versatile the power is, and how rare they are in story. Note that this tier is inconsistent, as it mostly boils down to whatever Quirks people think are the strongest, and will vary depending on who you ask.

Examples: “Manifest”, “Creation”, “Whirlwind”, “Dark Shadow”, “Black Hole”, “Warp Gate”, “Half Hot Half Cold” “The Ones”, “Rewind” and “Overhaul”.

Tiers are Irrelevant:

As the series has shown time and time again, how powerful a Quirk is doesn’t matter when put in the hands of certain people. Mirio, in spite of having a ultimately lackluster Quirk, was able to rise in the ranks to become a truly great hero. Denki, in spite of having an amazing Quirk, is held back by his own ineptitude and falters because of it. The whole point of this tier list is to give you a general idea of how strong certain Quirks are relative to the rest of them and how you want to write your Quirk. If you want to make a powerful character, aim for an A Tier Quirk. If you want to make it seem like your character trained relentlessly to get where they were, give them a D or C tier Quirk to make the struggle more noteworthy.

Character Name:

These are often puns or other kinds of wordplay. Try to relate them to your character’s power, their personality, or what you want to do with them in your story. They can even be references to real life locations or ideas. For instance, Shoto contains the kanji for “burning” and “freezing”, alluding to his Quirk. Twice’s surname of Bubaigawara is taken from the a train station in Tokyo run by two different railroad stations, alluding to not only his Quirk, but his differing personalities.

Personality:

Characters are often influenced by their Quirk relative to their personality. Iida is highly driven matches his car-based Quirk, Shigiraki is drawn towards destruction fits perfectly with “Decay”, and Mt. Lady love of attention works great with “Gigantification”. Now this may be a coincidence or a joke, but it is something you may want to consider when designing the personality of your character. That or their Quirk depending on which you make first.

Hero Name:

A hero name should represent the kind of idea, theme, or idea you want to put forward. There are three types: -Personal Names: Names that represent some goal they strive for or idea they wish to convey. For instance, All Might represents his desire to be number one; someone who stand above all as a protector. Lemillion is a reference to Mirio’s dream of being able to save a million people. These are the names you give to important or main characters.

-Memorable: While less personal then the previous category, it still tries to convey what the hero is about and makes them easier to remember. These incorporate the brand a hero goes for, some clever wordplay, or just a reference. For example, Uravity is a combination of Uraraka’s name and the name of her Quirk “Zero Gravity”. Best Jeanist is a reference to a famous modeling competition where competitors would model jeans. A majority of hero names fall into this grouping

-Humorous: These are more jokey names, with not as much thought put into them as other characters. They include things like naming yourself after your own Quirk, ones that make no sense, or are just jokes by the author. Such as Can’t Stop Twinkling, which is a joke based around Aoyama’s flamboyant personality. Bubble Girl is a lazy name, just the hero’s Quirk with a pronoun added on. These are best reserved for one off, background or gag characters.

Costumes:

Costumes are important as they get across the character’s personality or the kind of brand they would like to represent. Like Ojiro being dressed in something resembling a Gi or Present Mic dressing like a rock star. But while that is a key aspect of them, the main point of a costume to either prop up the user’s abilities or cover their weakness, whether that be their Quirk or just how they fight. Unless your style of fighting or your Quirk can be independent of the costume, such as the Quirk having drawbacks the costume can’t counter, the practicality of the costume needs to come first. Back to the earlier examples, Ojiro’s style of fighting of complimented by the freedom of movement offered by a Gi, and Present Mic’s long distance techniques is not limited by his choice of clothes.

However, you should try to keep it within the technological limits of both something made for a costume and the world as a whole. Unless necessary, it should be compact or simple, as the hero is often moving a lot to fight crime and they don’t need something weighting them down. The series, while more advanced then ours, still hasn’t reached the points of nano-tech, super suits, or anything out there in terms of technology.

Aesthetic Mutation:

Some of the characters look rather strange, with cases of it being completely unrelated to their Quirk. This is an Aesthetic Mutation, covering all of those unexplainable changes to a person. This can be in small ways, such as Kirishima having sharp teeth or Mina having black eyes, or major ways, such as Tokoyami's bird head or Shoji's monstrous face.  As long as it isn't a new power or isn't beneficial to the user, like if Koda's rocky skin did anything to protect him, then it will be probably be okay.

Family Quirks:

You shouldn’t feel the need to include the Quirks of your character’s family members unless they are somehow important to your character. Otherwise you’re only doing to end up racking your brain trying to come up with ideas and just waste your time on it. If you want your character to be the result of a Quirk Marriage, try coming up with the resulting Quirk and work backwards from that.

Giving your characters powerful Quirks:

Sometimes people will want to give their character powerful Quirks. Only two kinds of people should have Quirks that powerful: those with a personality drawback(s) or villains.

Characters with personality drawbacks are held back by themselves, making them much less powerful as a result and helps in balancing things out. Villains are suppose to be stronger, as they are meant to be a challenge to the hero, so it makes sense to give them an advantage like that.

Overhaul exemplifies both of these ideas remarkably well. Not only is he a major villain, but his germophboia keeps him from ending a fight or killing someone by using “Overhaul” to turn them into mush since he’ll get blood all over himself otherwise. Todoroki, at least in his introduction, is a good example as well since he refused to use his right side and ultimately suffered in his performance on top of being an antagonist to Izuku during the Sports Festival.

[firstpuffin]

Defeating an overwhelming antagonist…again..:

A problem with any ongoing story is the need for escalation. Every conflict need to be greater than the previous and while there are a number of different ways to do this (I’m partial to an emotional element as opposed to greater risk), the easiest is simply to up-the-ante.

  The Star Wars prequels went from a single planet to the entire galaxy; superheroes frequently go from the villain of the week to saving everything; romance such as Kimi ni Todoke (which I’ve written about previously) starts with the lead trying to talk make connections and ends on trying to keep their friends, partner and life goal.

  Every genre will have different requirements. Heck, if pornography has ongoing stories then they’d have the same problem, although don’t count on me figuring out how to deal with it. More participants? Dunno.

 I personally love a good action story and it can be dumb like Dragon Ball, goofy like Gintama or serious like Bleach, and I deliberately named manga as examples as that’s the area I’ve chosen to write about today. Why manga? Well in my experience the scale of escalation tends to be somewhat more extreme and far simpler.

  I think I’d like to also write about escalation in other genres such as romance, slice-of-life and sure, comedy, and how they might, and often do, intermingle. But for now I’m gonna talk about the action genre’s Overwhelming Antagonist.

  Again.

  Sorry.

 I’m going to provide three examples this time, all manga that I loved (at one time at least) and while I’ve only just finished one of them, another has recently had a confirmation for its finale being animated. Going from bad to good: Bleach, Naruto, and Gintama.

 So we’re starting with Bleach. Hmm, what do you need to know to understand this? Well after writing this out once already I figured all you actually need to know is why the antagonist sucks.

  The antagonist in question is- uhh, f*ck it. His name is “Yhwach”, but screw figuring out the pronunciation for that, I’m calling him Deus (even though this will influence the SEO of this article, but whatever). Deus is quite possibly the worst example I can think of for a bad antagonist. His unique superpower, The Almighty, is to know everything that will happen, that can happen, and to freakin’ overwrite any future he doesn’t like!

  Like seriously! I can only think of one power that is harder to overcome and that’s the one that’s been floating around online about controlling probability. It’s the epitome of bullshit, and the overwriting-futures-he-doesn’t-like bit only comes out after he should have lost, and that’s what bothers me the most.

  If he had lost right there, it would have been a very satisfying end brought about from the hero’s, Ichigo Kurosaki’s, efforts, working alongside allies and previous antagonists and with some actual tactics; satisfying despite the nonsense of literally everything else in the arc until that point (contradicting established lore and generally making no goddamn sense-). Instead he whips out this Diabolus ex Machina (the villainous Deus ex Machina) so that something the writer included earlier (but hadn’t really established) could finish him off instead.

  This is all quite terrible, but what makes it so egregious is that Bleach had two, two, separate and very much ideal chances to end, but kept going. But basically Deus simply chose not to die, rewriting reality to do so, but couldn’t overwrite his actual loss? Care to explain that to us, upcoming anime?

 SECOND! Naruto.

  Naruto is also pretty interesting to me because I didn’t enjoy it at all for like, 50 episodes (and still watched it? why?) but it eventually became my favourite manga (for a time anyway). Me and my friends were worried about how well it was possible for a 15 year-long story to end, especially after that Bleach debacle, and we sort of didn’t want it to end just to avoid the inevitable tragedy.

  But it was good!

  I know that many people don’t like it, and for some of it I can understand why. The big bad was Madara Uchiha- scratch that (the author did), the antagonist is the up-until-now unknown Kaguya. Yeah, she hadn’t really been established, or even mentioned, up until she appeared and yeah, that was a problem. I think the reason why I gave it a pass was that her appearance was also connected to the origin of the culture of that world and was really quite fascinating, so I let it slide.

  Oh, and I liked her design. That goes a long way.

  Anyway, after a long and drawn out fight against the established (multiple times as-it-were) villain Madara, Kaguya is reincarnated through what can be summarised as the end result of Madara’s hubris and becomes the threat. She is an odd antagonist for an action manga, and not just because she’s a woman.

  Kaguya isn’t strong in the same way as all the other characters, punching and shooting lighting and such, but instead she’s powerful like a deity. She drags the heroes through dimensions and such while still getting her bearings, and I’m pretty sure she is defeated while still half asleep.

  Kaguya’s sudden appearance is the bad, so what’s the good?

  The heroes, our titular Naruto Uzumaki and his best bud the brutal murderer Sasuke Uchiha were, through some situation, gifted a power that they were using to try and seal Madara away like an evil genie, but this sealing power works just as well for Kaguya (if I remember correctly then that’s why she needed to be reincarnated in the first place).

  It all works on established lore and isn’t a stretch in any way.

 And finally, Gintama.

I really would not have expected this from a manga filled with so many scatological jokes that any metaphor would just bring unwanted images to mind, and whose very title is a dick joke.

  The antagonist here is Utsuro, an honest-to-god immortal. Over a thousand years old, heals from anything, dead inside (according to him “utsuro” means hollow), all Utsuro wants to do is destroy everything. I know, what a 2D character, right?

  Actually no. Being immortal, Utsuro has gone through the whole loneliness thing that stories about immortals tend to include, only he’s also had to deal with persecution on top of that. He may heal but he still feels it when his village burns him alive, or stabs him, or locks him away in a prison where he starves until the lock rusts away… the author doesn’t give him the typical “oh woe is me” flashback, but gives us plenty of reason to empathise with him.

  So fighting an immortal, and without the superpowers of the previous two entries, how does our hero Gintoki Sakata defeat him? That requires a bit of a history lesson; history in the manga.

  How many of you know of the Life-stream from Final Fantasy 7? That seems like a solid analogy. It is mentioned a number of times that the planets (plural as Gintama is a sci-fi) have some energy called Altana and while its uses aren’t really explored, we do know that one effect of it is that some people are born of it (also not really explained; planet sex? virgin birth?) and that these people are immortal as long as they have access to this energy, and that right there is the crutch of things.

 One of our leads is an alien whose mother was one of these immortals who left her planet and slowly died because the Altana of another planet won’t help. Utsuro is actually almost killed off of Earth and retreats back- oh, but if he’s only vulnerable away from the Altana then how else can he be beaten?

  In the end it comes down to a couple of factors, both of which are established previously; the time he almost dies, it’s because someone rams a foreign Altana crystal into his chest and our heroes go into battle equipped with these. Secondly, using characters and lore set up and forgotten a long, long time ago, the flow of this Altana is regulated by a small group who, with great difficultly, are able to staunch the energy during the fight.

  With small amounts of the harmful Altana being absorbed into his body through super-healing and no access to his literal life-force, Utsuro is able to be defeated and this is why Gintama is king. Gintama literally used what seemed like throwaway, not at all serious storylines and thoroughly established lore to exploit a weakness in this immortal.

 Compare this with Deus from earlier who has no such weakness and the only thing that can apparently defeat him not only hasn’t been set up, but should have been foreseen and avoided because that’s his power! That’s literally what he does! But Utsuro has this flaw and time was taken to establish a way to take advantage of it.

[player-1]

Union X update 9/3 (Spoilers)

Oh boy, time to let some steam out... And major spoilers and speculations are below, so tread carefully.

STOP SAYING VEN IS THE MURDERER! HE IS NOT GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION! HE IS THE VICTIM! THE BLOOD IS NOT ON HIS HANDS BY DEFAULT, DARKNESS WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK STRELITZIA’S LIFE! HE JUST HAD THE UNFORTUNATE CHANCE OF BEING IN THE WRONG PLACE AND AT THE WRONG TIME!!

Alright, rant’s somewhat over, let me explain a few things...

Given Darkness’ information with the Book of Prophecies, and with the famous phrase “And the Darkness will triumph and Light will expire”, it used Ven as the Trojan Horse in order to ensure their survival in the Worlds beyond (more so like a double standard, but I’ll explain that later). But of course, there’s a few key factors to consider...

1. Why would Darkness kill a Union Leader? Wouldn’t Ven being a Dandelion have the same effect as ensuring its survival? Because being a Union Leader assures the person the privilege of keeping their original memories of the past. If Ven was a Dandelion on its own, he would have his memories erased regarding the War, and under the Leader’s watch, they may destroy Darkness in its path before it made it out of the data world. And on that note, Ven might even reject Darkness as a regular Dandelion regardless. 

2. If Ven had Darkness with him, wouldn’t Ava be suspicious?  Of course, since Darkness works as a completely separate entity and uses Ven as an unassuming vessel of sorts. And with a Keyblade like Missing Ache, a powerful three-tier in fact, it would be odd for an eleven-year-old like him to possess at the cusp of the War. But on that note, we now know that Darkness took the form of Ava to trick Ven into going to the abandoned warehouse, where both the Player and Strelitzia went into. And given their striking similarities (more so the default Player), it would be easy to assume some kind of mix up...

3. So what does that have to do with anything? If Ven wasn’t supposed to be a Union Leader, or even a Dandelion himself, why did Darkness pick him?  Because he was alone. Because he didn’t have anyone to call a true friend. Because he doubts his strength as a Keyblade wielder and a Union Leader. He was shut off from the world, possibly by force, and raised oblivious of the Keyblade War itself and the burden he inadvertently carries.  All of that was possible because Darkness saw a lonely little kid and twisted his mind to believe that he may never get the love and support he wanted, that he can only trust his own shadow and his own heart.

-“The one who answered was a boy with short, wavy golden hair and a tendency to look at the ground. He was so quiet that it was hard to imagine him fighting with a Keyblade.“ -“You two know each other, huh? Must be nice; I’ve always been on my own.” -Ephemer had never seen this boy Ven. Many Keyblade wielders he would at least recognize by face, and would usually hear stories of the truly exceptional ones, but Ven fit in neither category. (Unchained X light novel, pg. 125) Ventus: "Wait. Keyblade wielders fighting each other!?" Ephemer: "Didn't you read the book, Ven?" Ventus: "I did, but...I guess I didn't realize what it meant." ~~ Ventus: "I disagree." Brain: "Whoa, Ven. When did you grow a spine?" Ventus: "This is serious. I don't like the thought of wielders turning their weapons against each other." (Union X Mission 846: Pride Shift) The Union Leaders and Dandelions knew about the rising tension leading up to the War, or in this case, everyone in Daybreak Town knew about the War coming.  All except for Ven. He never considered it a possibility that wielders would turn their weapons against each other, fighting for Lux and not against the Heartless itself. For all he knew, everyone was just going about their missions like nothing even happened...After all, that’s what the Keyblade was for, right? Fighting against the Darkness?

But without Darkness (the entity), he never would’ve gained the Keyblade in the first place.  

Notice how Missing Ache is mostly connected to Dark Medals? If the Keyblade is a physical manifestation of the heart, than that defines their relationship: Darkness coming into contact with a pure Light like Ven’s, and taking care of the rest of his potential. It’s that kind of control that will eventually make Ven doubt himself, doubting his strength and his potential to make any kind of friendship apart from the Union Leaders. 

And even if he lost his memories in the Birth by Sleep timeline, it still had a lasting effect on Ven. -Xehanort tearing his heart apart because of Ven’s incapability of using the forces of Darkness...Because Darkness is an entirely separate entity. The same reason applies on why Darkness/Vanitas was able to survive on his own while Ven was forced to heal with the help of another heart (Sora). There was never “two halves” of Light and Darkness, there was only 1/4 of Light and 3/4 of Darkness. -He reacts negatively to any sort of criticism, and even goes into shock at the motion of a Keyblade raised at him (see BBS novel ch. 11 for more info (it also mentions his love of sweets, btw)), but he also hates the idea of Terra and Aqua holding back their strength, automatically assuming that he’s weaker than both of them.   -And even with the four years living in the Land of Departure with Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus, he never closed the gap between friend/student to brother/son-figure. Even with his amnesia, he remained distant of their compassion, never opening up to them in an honest, loving manner...

Darkness thrives on the idea of controlling someone weaker than itself. Daybreak Town, no matter its grandeur and charm, is a dog-eat-dog world, and it made sure Ven know that truth from the beginning.  Friends and partners will abandon you when you fulfill your purpose. The weak will die alone and the strong will crush the weak like bugs. Opening up your emotions and true feelings will make you weak, and people will take advantage of you because of it. The only thing you can trust is your own shadow and the weapon you carry in your heart.  Darkness and Light are one and the same, one cannot live without the other. They are brothers until the end of time, experiencing and feeling the same things and the same emotions. Where you go, I follow, so even if you think that you are alone, I will always be by your side forevermore. And because of me, you would’ve never made new friends (that will eventually leave you), you never would’ve been in the seat of power (that will eventually crumble around you), and you never would’ve seen the Worlds come into fruition (Light will eventually fade, and the Darkness will consume). You are my Light, I am your Darkness, and without me, you would’ve been dead long ago. Darkness as Vanitas wanted to keep that control, even after they were separated by Xehanort. He also didn’t fight back against Xehanort because, as the abuser became the victim, he had no idea to react. Xehanort made Vanitas weak because of his own power and his own skills of manipulation.  Even if he didn’t remember entirely, his dark heart grew colder at the thought that, even without his darker half, Ven can still live a proper happy life. He’s furious of the idea that Ven can live without him, that they can’t share that same happiness, but also avoiding the cycle of doubt and eventual betrayal caused by his hand. But Darkness isn’t inherently evil, it’s just stuck on the logic of “There is no true happiness, where there is love is betrayal, where there is friendship is abandonment, nothing is truly happily ever after...“. And because of that fact, he let Ven watch Darkness take Strelitzia’s life, hoping to find the Player and save them from the War, because life doesn’t give you second chances that easily.

In a way, that would make Ventus believe that her death was entirely his fault (since he accepted Darkness as a part of himself, ie. guilty by association), that all he will do is hurt people, and possibly his new friends. And he may believe that, as long as he’s all alone with his shadow, no one will get hurt, no one will betray him, and the cycle will just repeat on and on and on.

On a sidenote, KH3 Vanitas pretty much describes their relationship to the core: -I’m the piece of Ventus that was taken away, and you’re the piece Ventus needed to be whole again [Sora]. So why shouldn’t you and I look exactly the same? (Taking the appearance of someone Ven can trust, ie. Master Ava and Sora) -You define me, Sora, the same way that Ventus does. We are brothers who, together, make a greater whole. (Light/Darkness duality) -But I am darkness. And I do stand by your side, I’m the shadow that you cast. How much closer could I be? -Ventus: But I didn’t ask for this. To be sifted apart, nice and neat. We should be free to choose. Not just light, not just darkness. We decide what we are. Vanitas:  But...Ventus, I did decide who I am. You see? Ventus: And what you are is darkness? Vanitas: What I am is darkness. Ventus: ...Okay.

All in all, Darkness/Vanitas decided that he should exist by his own nature, meant to be the opposing force against Light. But at the same time, Ven decided that he should be defined as a person, not a puppet stuck with the strings of fate. And in the light of the new Worlds, he could abandon the weak and innocent child he was in the past. But as Vanitas’ final words tell him, what I am is Darkness, you can’t change Darkness in its truest form.

(Also don’t ask me on where Ven’s Chirithy fits into this, I honestly have no idea. For all I know, they may or may not be aware of Darkness’ control on Ven, so we’ll just have to wait and see in the next KH arc.)

TL;DR: 

[rwby-redux]

Deconstruction

Worldbuilding: Aura

Our first official foray into the worldbuilding category: Aura. The chakra-like soul-energy that functions as the primary fuel source for Semblances, along with a handful of auxiliary features. Despite arguably being one of the cornerstones of RWBY’s lore, the page for it on the RWBY Wiki is worringly short. Like, no joke, it’s not even 2,000 words long. Suffice to say, that’s not a good sign.

Before we get started, let’s make sure everyone’s on the same page by quickly brushing up on our definitions. Aura is the physical manifestation of one’s soul, depicted as a colored emanation around the user. This effect is first visible when a person engages their Aura, and can be seen again when a person’s Aura is close to depletion. As Aura is drained through taking damage, staving off inclement weather, or using one’s Semblance, it begins to rapidly flicker. Upon depletion, it’s represented as either a full-body shimmering effect or a particle effect with “fragments” of Aura falling away from a person’s body, signifying that they’re susceptible to physical damage. Aura is vital not just for its inherent failsafe against injury, but for the other functions it offers, including: an innate healing factor, thermoregulation, conduction of Aura through inanimate objects, extrasensory perception, and unlocking dormant Auras within others. The only prerequisite for possessing Aura is having a soul, something which all life on Remnant (except for the Grimm) has.

You know, it’s amazing just how convenient Aura is. It almost makes you wonder why

EVERYBODY ON REMNANT HASN’T FUCKING UNLOCKED IT.

Seriously, why didn’t Pyrrha use her fame as a platform to raise public awareness on Aura? We know that trained Huntsmen can unlock them for people who have no prior training (looking at you, Jaune). Couldn’t her manager have found the time in-between signing deals with Pumpkin Pete’s to get a campaign going, so she could be sponsored to travel around the country doing exactly that? Why is 90% of Remnant’s population leaving themselves deliberately vulnerable to Grimm and bandits? Seriously, RWBY, what the fuck?

Sorry. Getting ahead of myself. Deep breaths.

Let’s set aside the histrionics for a moment. Aura as a combat mechanic is pretty ingenious when you think about it. It capitalizes on a pretty well-established trope already found in the genre. If you’ve familiarized yourself with the manga and anime scene in the last decade, chances are you know what Naruto is, even if you’ve never read or watched it. Having a magical soul-powered fuel source already gives you the license to justify all of the crazy acrobatics your cast is going to be doing, and given its parallels to chakra, it isn’t going to require too much explaining to a genre-savvy audience. In theory, anyway.

I think part of the problem is that RWBY’s writing relies a little too heavily on fans having at least a vague pre-established understanding of the concept behind Aura. It lets the show dodge having to answer problems that arise from under-developing its world. Aura’s utility as a combat accessory, coupled with all of the extra functions I mentioned earlier, creates the problem of: If this tool is so useful, why doesn’t everyone have it?

If you’ve never seen Hello Future Me’s video on magic systems, I highly recommend you check it out. Without even mentioning RWBY, he manages to pinpoint the flaw with Aura (and by extension, the common flaw with most fantasy magic systems): differentiating between limitations, weaknesses, and costs.

I’ll let him take over from here:

“The most common form of limitation is a vaguely-defined limit of strength, or training, or mental acumen of the practitioner. Avatar: The Last Airbender is kind of like this. There’s no explicit limit to how much fire a person can conjure, or how strong a wind they can muster, but we know it’s kind of limited by their training, willpower, strength, and talent. Think of it as the rule of: THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH AWESOME ONE HUMAN CAN HANDLE. If you’re really trying to differentiate your hard-magic system from this common trope, then think about not relying on this particular limitation, but maybe something else. Perhaps certain powers can be negated or are affected by certain things in the environment around them, like the moon, certain plants, or minerals. That way, your magician has to be aware of their surroundings at all times, or it can be used against them by their enemies.

Secondly: weaknesses. Weaknesses in magic systems can create interesting dynamics in a story where magic would usually make a character a lot more powerful than those around them. Maybe they can transform into a werewolf at will, but that makes them vulnerable to silver bullets, though, once again, making these limitations to your magic too simple can make them…uninteresting. […] If you have multiple different powers in your story, it could be interesting to have the use of one power making them more vulnerable to another, so your character has to be cautious about using their powers around someone who could take advantage of that. …I personally feel the best magic systems affect the way your characters think or act or change the way your fictional world operates.

Finally and thirdly, perhaps the most common way that people create rules for their magic system is through magic costing something. […] Perhaps the most common magical cost is that of bodily energy. In The Wheel of Time and The Inheritance Cycle, doing something with magic exhausts you, which is fine until you try and be too magically heroic, and you overdose on magical heroin and die.” [1]

Seriously, go watch this guy’s video. He’s great.

With all of that in mind, let’s take his thesis and apply it to Aura:

Does Aura have any limitations? Not really. We’re vaguely told by Kerry Shawcross that it’s possible to increase the amount of Aura a person has, but that it’s “impractical.” Most people try to get more efficient at using Aura instead of trying to get a “bigger gauge.” [2] Unfortunately, the show hasn’t provided any evidence of what “getting more efficient” looks like—whether that’s simply increasing your training, or undertaking a specific kind of training. Is Aura like a muscle that becomes stronger the more you exercise it? We don’t know. The show hasn’t given us a definitive metric for measuring training progress, so it’s up for debate.

Does Aura have any weaknesses? Sort of. You could argue that there’s a trade-off between using your Semblance versus simply relying on Aura to tank hits. A combatant’s innate defense system draws from the same energy source as a Semblance, which could create an interesting choice between offense and defense. Do I rely on my Semblance to win, or should I conserve Aura for other things, like activating Dust or staving off hypothermia? My issue with this being a credible weakness is that we don’t really see characters grapple with this dilemma on-screen. Taiyang tells Yang to decrease her dependency on her Semblance, but that has more to do with Yang’s Semblance enabling an aggressive attack style that gives her opponents more openings, than it does anything to do with conserving Aura for other things. [3]

Does Aura have any costs? That’s a resounding no. A Semblance costs Aura to use, but Aura itself doesn’t demand anything in exchange for activating it.

From every conceivable angle, Aura sounds like a pretty sweet deal. And that’s the problem: there’s no believable in-lore explanation for why the entire world doesn’t simply have a Huntsman unlock it for them.

So how do we rectify this?

What if having an unlocked Aura made a person more likely to attract Grimm? We already know that Grimm track people primarily through detecting negatively-valenced emotions and the presence of nearby souls. If we wanted to give Aura’s aesthetic appearance some more significance beyond simply being cool to look at, what if Grimm can sense that emanation? If a person with a locked Aura is akin to a matchstick, then what if a person with an unlocked Aura looked like a bonfire by comparison? The very tool used to fight Grimm has the drawback of also attracting Grimm, or worse, causing Grimm to prioritize you as a target.

Not only would this give us an answer for why the entire world doesn’t unlock their Auras, but it opens the floodgates for lore and worldbuilding ideas: If unlocked Auras can attract Grimm (even when not in use), do governments have an incentive to regulate how many of its citizens have unlocked Auras? Are only certain members of the population allowed to unlock their Auras, like Huntsmen or soldiers? What happens if you accidentally unlock your Aura? Would the government force you to pay a tax, or make you choose between conscription into either the military or a Huntsman Academy? There’s an entire afternoon’s worth of ethical debates right there.

But let’s say that unlocking your Aura doesn’t attract Grimm, in which case, maybe there’s some sort of societal stigma against it. What if you’re afraid of unlocking your Aura because that means, by extension, opening up the possibility of discovering your Semblance? What if you’re afraid of getting a passive Semblance that causes misfortune? What if you gain a pyrokinetic Semblance that’s hard to control, and without training you run the risk of hurting yourself or others?

We can even take this a step further if we consider how Aura and Semblances can be abused by others. What if at some point in history there was a monarch that would forcibly unlock their citizens’ Auras and force them to serve in their army? Skip forward several generations and picture a well-meaning Huntsman passing through a village. They stop to chat with the locals, and an inquisitive child comes up to them and asks about what it’s like being a Huntsman and having an unlocked Aura. The Huntsman, unaware of the history of the region, offers to unlock the child’s Aura for them. Cue the parents and nearby townsfolk panicking as their thoughts immediately go toward the tyrannical monarch from long ago, and the number of child soldiers forced to bleed for that king.

If we wanted to make Aura inconvenient, we could even introduce Aura- and Semblance-specific diseases transmitted via Grimm. Take a moment to imagine what it would be like if you lived in a world where you never had to worry about getting the flu, as long as you refrained from doing one specific thing. How’s that for an incentive? Now apply that to RWBY, and suddenly there’s a whole list of Grimm-based illnesses that you’re automatically immune to as long as you don’t unlock your Aura.

The possibilities are endless.

With a little creativity it wouldn’t be hard to give realistic, in-world answers for why unlocked Auras aren’t more prevalent: everything from mechanical drawbacks, limitations, weaknesses, risk factors, cultural taboos, stigmas, you name it.

I wanted to complain more about the vagueness of Aura’s healing factor and how it relates to Aura depletion—like how the hell Hazel stabbed himself with Dust crystals while his Aura was still active; wouldn’t the healing factor have caused them to just shoot out of his arms like magical splinters?—but this post is getting long, and I want to wrap things up. I think I’ve made my point.

Join me next time when I put another one of RWBY’s core concepts on the chopping block.

-

[1] Hello Future Me. “On Writing: hard magic systems in fantasy [ Avatar l Fullmetal Alchemist l Mistborn ]” YouTube video.  February 07, 2018. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMJQb5bGu_g&list=WL&index=351&t=0s]

[2] Shawcross, Kerry. “CRWBY AMA.” Reddit interview. February 12, 2018. [https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/7x3w4s/crwby_ama_w_miles_luna_kerry_shawcross_and_paula/du5bpdm/?context=3]

[3] Volume 4, Episode 9: “Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back.”

[batfamquotes]

LMAO I forgot there are people who don’t know that talia al-ghul had sex with jason todd

that’s like people not knowing nightwing once kissed catwoman

this came up because https://shewhotellsstories.tumblr.com reblogged this

https://incorrectbatfamiliaquotes.tumblr.com/post/180702420910/jason-todd-i-hadnt-felt-that-messed-up-mentally

and their tags were basically asking did talia commit a statutory rape upon jason

and I realized wow people really don’t know that story and have zero context.

so I want to clarify just what happened between talia and jason 

for the record, I’m not justifying what happens, I’m just explaining the events as they occurred. 

(warning: this gets long)

SO! 

in red hood the lost days we’re shown what jason todd was doing in between getting resurrected, crawling out of his grave, and terrorizing batman when he comes back to gotham as red hood.

where was he?

with talia al-ghul

what was he doing?

getting training from the best teachers she picked out for him

and then killing the ones who turned out to be morally corrupt.

after crawling out of his grave, jason spent 5 months wandering around, then hospitalized, then back to wandering the streets before the al-ghuls found him and brought him to one of their compounds

then after a year of trying and failing to figure out how he came back from the dead, ra’s deemed jason a lost cause. jason had shown that he was a master combatant but he wasn’t all there, not mentally. now this could be because of the obvious trauma he’d been through, and an effect of being resurrected & being described as half dead. it’s very possible he had brain damage, and probably never would have recovered completely or maybe he would have, over a period of several years.

but talia didn’t have that option. ra’s forbid her to tell batman that his son was in her care and custody. and he decided that jason would leave them and be cared for in secret, since in his eyes he wasn’t improving. 

so talia sped up the process. she shoved jason into her father’s lazarus pit, gave him a survival kit, and helped him escape the al-ghul compound.

why? why do all this? well it’s implied that talia hoped to restore jason to the boy he once was, then she’d return him to batman who would be grateful in kind and love talia back.

but it’s pointed out that the chances of that happening aren’t high, and that the longer talia kept jason from bruce, the more likely it would be that bruce would be angry with her for keeping his son from him and not letting him know jason was alive.

after the dip in the lazarus pit, jason’s mental faculties are back to working order, and the pits healing factor works on his body as well, giving him a very late growth spurt.

it’s believed the lazarus pit made jason go “crazy” when he went on his vengeance driven kill spree but all it did for him mentally was undo his brain damage, throughout lost days and under the red hood jason’s got a clear moral stance and is driven by anger. yes he’s violent, but he’s coherent.

after reconnecting with talia, jason tells her he wants to kill batman for not avenging him and asks for her help, which she gives, while also stalling him by insisting he gain training in a variety of fields.

which he does. he’s an incredibly fast learner.

during that time, talia helps jason financially, paying for his livelihood and his teachers that she picks out for him

as his goals change, during the story he meets with talia on several occasions, telling her of his progress and plans. she’s a major part of his life, but he’s left to his own devices.

at the end of the series, talia tells jason that her father is dead by batman’s hand, and encourages him to gain vengeance on bruce, for slights made against him and her.

she then pulls jason towards her, and kisses him. he kisses her back, they fall to the bed, making out, and they have sex.

since up until that point jason had been focusing on training, and no mention of any love interests are made, there’s no reason to think he would have had penetrative sex before this, so it’s pretty clear that talia takes jason’s virginity. and yes, virginity is a social construct but for the narrative’s sake let’s call it what it is.

now, when jason comes back from the dead, it’s 6 months after he’s been buried.

at that point, jason was 15

in red hood the lost days it’s clear that a couple years pass between talia helping jason escape, his training, and the time they have sex.

so the timeline is, 15-16, being taken care of by talia, going on the run, deciding to murder batman

16-17, training from different teachers, learning new skills batman hadn’t taught him

18, giving up on murdering batman, and choosing to enact revenge instead, then talia takes his virginity

(for reference, he’s two years older than tim drake who was 16 when jason came back to gotham in under the red hood, so at the end of lost days jason is 18)

here is jason with talia in issue 1

look at how small and tiny he is. just like the malnourished robin he once was. he’s 15 at this point.

this is them in issue 2

he’s clearly older here, but not by much, he’s at least 16.

and here they are in issue 3, you can see jason’s aging, he’s either still 16 or he’s 17

and in issue 4, he’s either a late 17 or an early 18 here at this point in the story.

sidenote, jason with long hair and scruff is a LOOK!

and this is the Moment where they have sex in issue 6 when jason is 18

and the aftermath

I’m pretty sure that’s a condom wrapper next to the phone.

compare jason in issue 1 to issue 6. he goes from a teen to an adult, and the transitions are obvious.

NOW

let’s get into the why.

it’s clear that talia is most likely using jason to get at bruce, but along the way she grows to care for jason.

it should be noted that at that point jason is still emotionally a mess from everything, and talia is dealing with her father’s death, so they’re two compromised individuals seeking comfort in one another. it’s cathartic. but that doesn’t make it healthy. 

from the ages of 15 to 18 talia is jason’s primary caretaker. she doesn’t raise him, she’s not his mother, not biologically, legally, or technically. but she is a mother figure to him.

and talia is significantly older than jason, being in either her late 20s or early 30s

they aren’t unaware of their connection through batman, talia being his ex and jason being his adopted son

basically their having sex is a literal and figurative way of saying ‘screw you’ to the man

so their connection through bruce, age difference, power imbalanced relationship in the lost days story line, and their emotionally vulnerable states means that their having sex is unhealthy and it’s meant to be seen that way, it’s not supposed to be “hot” or good.

talia throughout the story manipulates jason into being the type of man bruce refuses to be, one who kills without hesitation.

but I wouldn’t say she takes advantage of him, not in the way you’d assume.

this isn’t a grooming situation, talia manipulates jason emotionally but not sexually. it’s messed up, we’re not contesting that

however, we will say that jason todd is legally an adult when talia has sex with him and it’s clear that it’s consensual on both their parts

jason’s not in a good head space when it happens but he is an adult physically, mentally and emotionally. 

it’s not statutory rape or incestuous, but it is very very messed up.

the closest comparison I can make is, imagine during stephanie brown’s batgirl run when she was an 18 year old college student and wasn’t dating tim drake at the time, if bruce wayne found himself attracted to her and had sex with stephanie brown in spite of her being his son’s ex girlfriend who tim obviously was still in love with and would never be over, bruce being significantly older than stephanie, not acting as a father figure towards her, but a mentor of sorts over the years, and bruce knowing stephanie since she was a 14 year old teenage girl. illegal? no. messed up? very.

I’m aware an 18 year old jason’s not going to have the same maturity level as someone older, he’s still growing, but that’s not the point here.

it’s consensual and legal sure

but it’s also unhealthy and messed up for the reasons listed above

it’s interesting, that jason wanting to find his biological mother was the major catalyst that drove him to the events that led to his death, and after he rose from the dead he found a mother figure in talia

[thehoneyxbadger]

she’s got claws

Gabby tries to help a mutant out of control. Slade and Colleen arrest a young mutant vigilante.

DATE: 22nd March 2020 FEATURING: @deathfxrhire @dragonsdefender MENTIONED:  WARNINGS: violence, suicide, blood, injury

GABBY: Gabby knew that the Accords meant she should be careful. But she felt she had these abilities and she could use them to help people. Or find those who'd been hurting people and deal with them herself. Tonight she was responding to a mutant who was using their powers to terrorise. Screams of terror echoed as fire seemed to go after one or two people. But looking at the attacker, this was more likely to be an act of distraught revenge.  Gabby didn't want the poor mutant, who seemed to only be a teenager who was lost and losing control --Probably retaliating against someone who hurt them. Gabby knew that feeling-- to end up arrested for that. 

So she intervened, taking advantage of her healing factor to get close enough to get to the kid and calm them down. Holding them tight, she managed to get them to stop, showing them her own claws to get them to trust her. "Come on," she told them. "We should get you out of here."

COLLEEN: Patrols were different with a partner. Especially one like Slade who wanted to make money doing this. She never really talked to him about whether or not he agreed with the Accords - but she wasn’t sure she wanted to know where he stood. (And as much as she was there to make sure that he was trustworthy, his presence there made Colleen stick to the rules as well... equal enforcement.) But tonight, Colleen glanced down an alley and saw - what was that? Knives? No. Those were claws. She reached over and hit Slade’s arm with the back of her hand gently to grab his attention - but hopefully not the two people in the alley.

Colleen glanced at Slade and motioned towards the two people. “You see what I’m seeing?” She asked in a whisper, working her jaw before shaking her head. She hated going after kids, but there was no pretending that this young woman wasn’t dangerous. “Let’s go. Maybe they’ll surrender.” But there was a dark feeling twisting in Colleen’s stomach. It was never that easy - but she hoped it would be. They were just kids.

SLADE: As far as partners went, Wing was better than he could have gotten. While he'd worked as part of a team in the Army, it's been a long time since those days--since he'd been betrayed by the very people he once counted as family. His last job with a partner had been Madripoor, and that had rather soured the entire prospect of working as a team even more than it already had been. As it went, though, Colleen was smarter than average and skilled as hell with the kitana she carried, even if her talking could border on lecturing like a mother hen every once in a while. Better useful but irritating than dead weight, as far as he was concerned. And she was useful. 

The screams had drawn their attention from a few blocks away, and Slade was on the lookout for anyone trying to make their escape when Colleen pinpointed the source down the alley. "I see 'em." Kids. Slade had no problem fighting kids--hell, the bloody Teen Titans were amongst his biggest pains in the neck. "Claws like those? Doubt it," he murmured, hand already sliding towards his belt. Especially if she was related to the more famous clawed mutant with the X-Men. "But I'll let you play good cop if you want." He was very good at bad cop.

He leads the way, anyway, down the alleyway, until both kids' heads snap up in their direction.

GABBY: Gabby was trying to keep the teenager calm enough that they could get out of here before any Enforcers showed up. Because they would show up. After a show like that, it'd be stupid to think they wouldn't. And here she was, a masked hero and clear mutant. Not to mention that this kid had just shown themselves to be potentially dangerous. But they needed help, not to be arrested. Except...

Gabby's head snapped up before the kid's, her enhanced senses alerting her within of the footsteps while they were still a while away. She straightened up, about to try to hide her claws. But it was too late for that; the way these two moved screamed to her that this was going to be a fight. Her heckles were raised immediately. "We just want to go home," she said, putting the kid behind her. It wouldn't hide them--Gabby was far too short for that-- but it might shield them. "We don't want a fight."

COLLEEN: He was right. Which was more annoying that Colleen would care to admit - he was her partner and all she could think about right now was that him having a point annoyed her. But she kept it in. Her dark eyes focused on the girl with the claws as she followed Slade, just a step behind him. Not because she was letting him lead - but he had a presence, and Colleen was hoping that having his muscle out on display would push the kids back. 

 And that Colleen could talk them into surrendering. 

That was the idea at least. And when the young woman said they just wanted to go home - Colleen felt for them, but they couldn’t. “Then don’t fight,” Colleen said, stepping so that she was right beside Slade. “Put those away,” she instructed, motioning downward with her hand slowly, “and surrender. If you don’t want to fight, prove it.”

SLADE: Fuck's sake.

Slade had never done hostage negotiation in the field--he'd always been the one they sent in when negotiation seemed to be going sideways. He was good at talking, don't get him wrong--he'd talked his fair share of kids down from hyperventilating themselves halfway to unconsciousness, or kids who decided their service weapon was looking more and more friendly. 

This, what Colleen was trying to do, he didn't have the patience for. The energy before a fight was practically crackling, and there was no doubt in Slade's mind that the girl wasn't going to go down easy. But he let her play the good cop. Saw the answer on the girl's face immediately.

Bad cop it was. "Look, kid. You're not going home. You can put the claws away and make everyone's life much easier, or you can not, and make my life much more fun but risk your little friend here getting hurt. You come in, you sign some papers, maybe you go home. Make yourself a danger, and that ain't gonna happen."

GABBY: If it were just her, Gabby's mind would be made up. She would fight her way out. But with a boy behind her who couldn't be more than thirteen... Well, that changed things. She slowly began to straighten up from where she'd been poised to fight, until she felt a hand on her arm. "No. Please! I can't go with them." Gabby sighed. A fight it was then.

"Afraid I can't do that," she replied to the man. "How about option C? We leave here so we can all make it home in time to watch some trash tv tonight. I think the new season of the Bachelor is on. Or is it the Bachelorette?" Gabby gave a sly grin, but her eyes were taking quick stock of her opponents. She couldn't rely on the kid to help. But Gabby had been trained her whole life to fight. "You get out of here, quickly, once you can," she murmured under her breath to him. "Get ready."

COLLEEN: Don’t fight. That was what Colleen wanted to tell this kid, that it would all be fine. She couldn’t make any promises that it would be fine, but she had to believe that there was a path forward that wasn’t all handcuffs and collars. (And it was hard to see a future like that when shit like this kept happening. And now it was kids.) “Option C sounds great and all,” Colleen shook her head. “But that’s not happening.” Slade went hard but Colleen couldn’t say that he was wrong — she hated it. But he was right. They couldn’t play this soft.

She took a step forward, and the second she did, the kid the one with claws was protecting bolted. Colleen barely glanced at Slade, wondering if he could read her as well as Danny could — if he knew that she was going to chase the other kid before she did it — wondering if there was any sort of understanding between them.

They were about to find out.

Colleen chased after the kid who had run off, her hand on the hilt of her weapon. She managed to close the distance quickly, grabbing the kid by the shirt and slamming them into the wall. “Stop running!” Colleen yelled, twisting the kid's arm behind their back to pacify them.

SLADE: The girl was admirably confident, he'd give her that--dishing out sarcasm even in the face of two Enforcers, even backed against the wall. You didn't get that confident without some practice, in Slade's experience, which meant she knew how to use those claws.

Dangerous, for sure, even in a small little package like that.

There was a moment of silence where they all sized each other up, waited to see who'd make the first move. Slade was delighted to find it to be Colleen. Less delighted at the way the little brat Claws was protecting bolted, but he could see the way Colleen's weight shifted as if to take after him even before she started running.

Which meant he got Claws. All the better. In a fraction of a second, he'd drawn one of the swords from his back and sidestepped between the girl and the side street the kid and Colleen had darted down. He had the reach advantage, here, and presumably the strength, but he wasn't taking anything for granted.

He caught the way her eyes shot down the street to where Colleen had the other kid pinned, brandished his sword a little more aggressively. "I really wouldn't, kid. C'mon, don't go makin me do something you'd regret. My friend there ain't about hurtin' kids, but I will hurt you if you make me."

GABBY: Gabby wasn't panicking despite the odds being against her. She'd been in enough fights in her short life to keep her head. But apparently the kid behind her hadn't. He took her advice a bit early and bolted, with one of the enforcers giving chase. Gabby watched in horror as he was twisted against the wall. "Hey! He's just a kid!" A kid without experience in this kind of thing to boot.

Claws out, she glared at Slade as he made threats. "Good luck with that," she retorted. She pulled her nun chucks from her belt to give her a better range--though he still had size advantage on her--and swung them hard and fast towards him. Only it was mostly a distraction, with Gabby's true intentions to merely pass the man, not attack him. As such, she used the wall to push off and get height, launching herself towards Colleen with a yell in a way she hoped would startle her into letting go of the teenager.

COLLEEN: It was a rookie mistake, turning her back on the other kid, even if she trusted that Slade would step up. He might have given her grief at every turn, but when it came down to situations like this? Slade was more focused on success than she was. (Colleen suspected it was about the money — but even so, that was reason enough that she could trust him out here.) Colleen’s grip on the kid changed when the one with claws shouted before leaping towards her. When she looked at the girl lunging towards her, the only thing she could think about was BB. How he had tried to reason with his friends and show them that Davos was wrong and evil but ended up bloodied on and on the ground.

This girl, she was just trying to do what she thought was right too. And the way she was moving — it was like she was okay if that cost her everything. Hell, it reminded Colleen of herself on some level. But there was no time for Colleen to try and talk this down again. And... if the choice was between Colleen’s life and this stranger’s? Colleen was going to choose herself. Colleen pulled her hand away from the teen she had pressed against the wall, her reflexes taking over as she pulled out her katana and braced herself for impact. “It doesn’t have to be like this — think about it — you can still stop. You keep going and I won’t be able to stop him.” Maybe that didn’t scare this kid... but it should.

SLADE: He threw his arm up to block the nunchuks, the impact scarcely even noticeable with his armor and his abilities, and turned to follow her movements as she lunged toward Colleen.

The other kid bolted as soon as Colleen turned to get her katana up, but Slade didn't pay a damn bit of mind to the kid as he slipped off into the dark. This one was the prize.

And when Colleen's warning didn't get the girl to let up, Slade would. Part of his reputation was his focus--his machine-like ability to put all of his attention on a task and complete it as if programmed to do it, come hell or high water.

Three thoughts went through his mind in short succession: firstly, that at least one of them was going to get hurt with so many blades out. Secondly, that it could not be Colleen--without regenerative powers, what damage she sustained would be a problem. Thirdly, that this kid seemed an awful lot like the Wolverine, and on balance, that meant she was apt to have the same regenerative abilities. And if it was him or the brat that needed to get hurt? Simple choice.

For a man of his stature, he's fast, thanks to the serum in his veins, and so he's crossed to the fight going on between the two girls in moments, his own katana driving the blade through skin and muscle at the kid's thigh before he finally pulls the swing just short of breaking bone.

The moment of shock, from both women, gives Slade opportunity to grab the kid by the scruff of her neck and yank her away from Colleen, throwing her onto the ground and dropping down with a knee to her back before she can try and push up. "If those claws don't go back into your hands now, kid," he warned, "you're getting a sword to the hands to keep them down, you understand me?"

Colleen's starting to protest the rough treatment, looks mad, but by the time he tunes back in, he's not inclined to let her ramble. "If you'd rather I let her up to gut you, just say the word, Colleen. Otherwise, I don't wanna fucking hear it. She's old enough to be running kids, she's old enough to fuckin know when to quit. Get a goddamned collar on her."

GABBY: Gabby's nunchucks collide with the katana hard, as she lands on the ground. The kid has run off, seemingly allowed to by the two Enforcers. Only now she stood between them. A vulnerable position to say the least. Gabby had to move quickly--something she was good at. But as fast as she moved, the man seemed to keep up. Her small stature normally meant that speed was her advantage, but something must help this man be this fast. Exactly what didn't matter to her right now. Especially as she doesn't heed Colleen's warning at all.

She turned, a split second too slow. The blade sliced through her flesh like butter, in a move that ought to have Gabby screaming in pain. Instead, as blood began to spill, Gabby's shock came from how deep the slice had gone. Almost to the bone, he'd cut her tendons and muscle in a way that--however temporarily--slowed her down too much. All it would take to lose this fight was a mere second slower. This wasn't some cop-turned-Enforcer. This was an assassin, trained to kill and butcher with skilled precision and no remorse, he had to be.

With his weight pressing on his knee against her back, Gabby knew  this fight is over. She could feel her leg beginning to stitch itself back together already, and she was thinking how once it did she could escape or fight again. Until she heard that word that sent dread through her. Collar. Without it, she would still have her training, but no extra strength or healing. Abilities she'd come to rely on because she'd barely known a world without them. Her claws slowly sink back into her hands.

Still, just because Gabby was down, didn't mean she was out. "What even is your deal anyway!? Surely there's better things to do than attack some kid who lost control of his powers?"

COLLEEN: The other kid was gone in the blink of an eye. And maybe she should have been concerned about that — that the kid would come back with help — or that Slade and Colleen might get ambushed later... but there wasn’t time to let any of those thoughts float to the surface. Not when she had an angry kid with claws who wanted to stab her. The claws collided with her katana, and Colleen moved defensively, not swinging at the girl. She didn’t want to actually harm her, despite having every reason to.

She had done this dance too many times before. She had done this dance for the Hand before. Finding troubled kids and trying to find even ground with them — recruiting them into a new and better life. But this time she wasn’t offering a safe place. No college fund. No reprieve from what was happening around them. Though, when she brought them to the Hand... she had no idea what she was really bringing them into. It was the good Hand. That was what Bakuto told her. That this was different — that they were different. But it was the same bullshit, just hidden behind a different — a charming smile. At least as an enforcer, there was no pretending that what she was doing was leading them down a path that they’d enjoy.

But it was hard to see the good parts of enforcing when she was facing off against a girl who couldn’t have been more than eighteen. It was even harder when she heard Slade’s voice, as he had the girl on the ground. (He had stabbed through her leg, and Colleen had gotten lost in something else — something that she had thought she was over. Time was supposed to heal all wounds... but time didn’t do shit for regret.)

This moment, it wasn’t so easy though. Nothing was quite black and white anymore. (Had it ever been? Really?) Her eyes snapped upwards to Slade, the frown on her face settling, as if that were her only expression. “Fuck off.” Two words came out of her mouth so bitter and angry — and she wasn’t even mad at him. She was mad at herself. For her hesitation. For the conflict in her own heart. But still, Slade kept opening his mouth — kept pushing her... Colleen took in a breath, reminding herself of the teachers her grandfather had instilled upon her. Self-control. One of the tenants of the Bushido Code.

Kneeling down next to the girl, Colleen secured a collar around her neck. But as she fastened it, she heard the words — what was her deal? Colleen clenched her jaw and took in a sharp breath. “I wouldn’t worry about him,” Colleen finally said. “He didn’t attack enforcers — he lost control and there is a system he can go through to get help — but you...” Colleen paused, still kneeling next to her. “Were you going to kill me?”

SLADE: Colleen could get pissy all she wanted, but they both knew he was right. Compassion and mercy got you hurt, got you killed, in this line of work. Colleen could feel how she wanted about kids or about the job--god knew he had his own thoughts--but you needed to put those in a box and do the goddamned job while you were out in the field where hesitation could be a death sentence. 

As soon as the claws were retracted, he closed his hands around the girl's wrists, drawing them up behind her back and closing cuffs around them as Colleen finished putting on the collar. The skin knitting itself back together at the girl's thigh stopped, and Slade squinted at the wound for a moment before deciding she'd be fine to base. The bleeding had more or less stopped, at least.

And then--fuckin hell. Colleen was trying to comfort the little brat. Slade snorted, rolling off and then dragging the girl up by her shoulders. "You just can't help yourself, can you, Wing?" It didn't matter whether the girl had tried to kill her or not--she hadn't gotten the chance, she had fought, and now she was under arrest. Could have beens didn't matter.

What mattered was now. "Think if I give her to you for two seconds you can manage to keep 'er here while I see if the kid is hiding out nearby?" He didn't wait for an answer before shoving Gabby at Colleen and starting down the alley, beginning a swift but methodical search for the boy.

GABBY: Gabby couldn't believe she'd been reckless enough to get caught. Maybe if the kid had actually stuck to the plan, or if the Enforcers hadn't clearly been so well trained, she'd be scot free right now. But maybe thinking about that was pointless anyway. They'd got her, they had her pinned to the ground and a collar around her neck. Which meant that if they actually decided to hurt her, or kill her, she wouldn't just bounce back. It had been a long time for Gabby since her injuries took a normal time to heal--she wasn't used to thinking like that.

She couldn't care less about the fighting between the two Enforcers, but when the woman knelt next to her and told her not to worry about the kid, she rolled her eyes. But it was the last question that made Gabby freeze. "No. I just wanted to scare you," she replied, honestly. If she'd wanted to actually kill the woman, she could've tried. But she didn't. "I didn't want to kill anyone."

As the man dragged her to her feet, Gabby could feel that her injured leg was still weak. At least it had healed enough to walk on now, just. It'd probably start bleeding again if she tried that for too long, but Gabby shrugged that off as she stumbled towards Colleen. Instead, she glared at the man as he went searching for the kid. If the kid was smart though, he'd be miles away by now. Gabby, on the other hand, was mildly screwed.

[anokaiwritingblog]

Meet my Tsundere/Yandere OC

Hey there everyone.

I wasn’t really planning on doing this, but I thought I should at least “complete the set” after posting my “meet my yandere OC” on Echo. I briefly mention it but Echo’s love interest is a sort of Tsundere/Yandere hybrid and… well, let’s just met her already.

Meet Onyx Stone. She’s a hot headed and stubborn mess of a woman. She’s aloof, blunt, cocky, quick to anger, and can come off as rather bitchy at times. Unlike Echo though, what Onyx says doesn’t sound like honey. Her words are knives and stab like them too. Because of this, most people don’t like her or afraid of her. Yet despite how she acts on the surface, Onyx cares very deeply for other people. She can be surprisingly nice and friendly if given the chance though she’s very rough around the edges when showing that kindness (i.e. “It’s not like I’m worried about you or anything”). Onyx’s default personality when first meeting a person, she’s aloof yet polite in her mannerisms. But, Onyx is reflective of how a person treats her. If a person treats or meanly or cold, she treats them back the same way. If they’re kind and nice, she’ll treat them the exact same way in her own rough way. Onyx is also extremely protective of people she cares about… to the point that she doesn’t mind hurting herself and even possibly killing herself just to save people. Because she’s both hard head and hot head, Onyx pushes body to the breaking point and defies limitations.

Onyx talks rather arrogantly too yet she’s actually has low self esteem. Remember how she’s willing to hurt herself for others and her goals? Well, that’s because she can’t respect herself enough not to hurt herself. Onyx also has a bit of a sadistic side as well. When it comes to those she’s view as “evil”, abusers, and just plain jerks, she deeply enjoys hurting them. The punishment she gives are based on their actions but the minimum amount of injury she’ll give is a broken nose and the maximum amount is either dead or horrifying disfigurement. Oh yeah! Onyx can also be pretty motherly to those younger than her and she encourages girls to learn how to fight and defend themselves.

Onyx went through many personality changes as she grew up to the personality that you see above. As a child, she was naive and easy to bully. Once she met Echo, she became extremely dependant on him since he was the one who saved her from getting killed. Onyx also gain her cocky attitude since she believed that Echo will always chose her. But the one who had the biggest impact on her was Echo’s mother. Echo’s mother wasn’t only teaching Echo how to be a “proper yandere” but Onyx as well. Onyx took Echo’s mom word as law since she was scared of being separated or disappointing Echo. His mother saw this and used it to her advantage. With Echo being both the reward and punishment, she successfully trained Onyx to a more “traditional” yandere. Onyx was cold, brutal, and rather unfeeling to others but to Echo, she was sweet and kind… Just like Echo’s mother. Echo was hers and she belong to Echo. Everything was supposed to be perfect then… yet it wasn’t. Onyx’s possession towards Echo was hurting him while Echo’s obsession towards her was hurting her. Onyx was the first to start coming to this realization and came to a halting stop in confusion. This caused a chain of events which lead to Onyx and Echo having a fight moments before Echo was ultimately kidnapped. What was suppose to be Onyx taking control of her life, she found things spiraling out of control. Onyx couldn’t stop the fight and she couldn’t protect the one thing she loved the most.

You can say Echo’s mother had a success when it came to Onyx yet she created an emotionally unstable mess with low self esteem. With Echo gone and Onyx abandoned by everyone, she was just… lost. But being out there in the real world? Her eyes started to open. Onyx met other people, learn through others, and had new experiences. Slowly, she started to open up and want to get along with others. But she found this difficult to do since she isn’t used to expressing herself to other people besides Echo… hence her “tsundere” personality. It was a confusing time in her life for sure but she improved for the better and became her own person. But all her actions are still fueled for Echo in mind.

Her friends? Onyx only associated with them at first because is considered them as worthy people to be part of Echo’s counsel when he becomes ruler of the gods. Saving the universe? Onyx can’t live a peaceful life with Echo is the universe is in ruin! Her mission to save him? That’s always been her first goal. Yet… Onyx changed over time. She genuinely likes her friends now and she wants to save the universe for others. And to save Echo? Not for selfish reasons but just so that he’s safe and sound.

Now-a-days, Onyx is more tsundere than yandere. It’s been a long time since she seen Echo and she isn’t sure how to act around him anymore. Onyx is on a tightrope when it comes to Echo. She loves him but she doesn’t want to fall back into that pit she escaped from. For every affectionate actions, Onyx would over correct herself and backlash at Echo. There’s also the factors that she believes she’s dangerous to Echo and that she also wants to teach Echo to be a better version of himself; and she can’t do that if she indulges in every one of his whims. This is basically her “hot and cold” attitude a tsundere would do.  

Yandere actions Onyx would do:

Just like Echo, Onyx has nicknames for him like “my prince”. But she has several nicknames that exposes her real feels for him. On occasions she calls him: “my god”, “my sun”, and “my light”. On rare moments, she calls him: “my universe”, “my weakness”, and “my everything”

Onyx is a bit of a “gatekeeper” when it comes to others getting close to Echo… especially girls. She normally judges them first to see if they’re worthy enough to get to know him. If Onyx considers them as pure heart and good, she leaves them be and even encourages them if they want to pursue Echo. Afterall, if Echo doesn’t chose her, then she wants to make sure that the girl is someone SHE approves. But if it turns out that the girl (or guy) has evil intentions, Onyx is sure to “handle” them… not by killing them of course. But by crippling them.

The scar that Echo made on her chest is Onyx’s weak point. She was severely traumatized by it since she thought Echo legitimately hated her. It stressed her out to the point that the scar never healed and it would occasionally hurt if she thinks about Echo. BUT! Once she gets over the trauma the feeling the scar gives changes from pain to… an eroge spot. The thought that Echo marked her forever? Exciting…

When Onyx saved Echo, his mother actually wrote up a contract that says that Onyx literally owns Echo now. Kinda troubling for her and denies it but at the same time, if someone tries to take him away or hurt him, she would fall back on it and threaten the person.

Sometimes, if Onyx gets jealous, she would break something to ease her tension and control herself.

Onyx doesn’t do any “creeper actions” like most yanderes. This is instead replaced by “tsundere acts of affection”. But, when it comes to Echo’s “creeper actions”, she’s very much accepting of it and finds it flattering even. She would indulge Echo from time to time as well when it comes to them.

If Echo actually ever does end up with someone else, Onyx would happily accept that. She’ll finish her job in saving the universe before finally killing herself. Echo was her only reason for living. So once she’s sure that he’ll live a happy life, she’ll end herself to stop herself from hurting herself and him anymore.

Onyx spent centuries searching for Echo. She traveled through harsh conditions and did the dirtiest of work. There wasn’t a day she wasn’t thinking of him and she had nightmares of the day he got taken and have nightmares of Echo.

Onyx’s Yandere Snap moments:

Just like Echo, if Onyx is overwhelmed by emotions, she would run away in fear of hurting Echo or causing him to hate her.

If Onyx is feeling particularly like a mess and that everything is out of her control, instead of running, she sort of accepts “Echo will hate me”. She goes all in and does her best to get Echo to hate her and push him away. Actually, she’ll push everyone away since she doesn’t want to hurt Echo or her friends but at the same time, she doesn’t want to be hurt herself. If she already accepted that everyone hates her, then it wouldn’t hurt her if she speeds up the process.

Fun fact:

Echo mimic a lot from Onyx. Like Onyx’s yandere snap of running away, Onyx’s sadistic tendencies of hurting the abusers, the nicknames, the “balancing act” of trying to be normal and being yandere, and “mean” way of speaking.

Onyx is a more possessive type of yandere while Echo is a more obsessive type.

Onyx basically have two fuses since she has two “personality types”. She has a short fuse with a small burst for her tsundere side and a long fuse with a large burst for her yandere side.

[violentnonretirement]

About Bastet: Jack

I’m doing multiple posts to kind of separate out things. This one will be about Jack, there will be one about Ana, and then one about the general Lore.

So keep in mind this is just about Jack, since the short story was equally about both and I literally have way too much to talk about with Ana to fit them both here while still being at all readable.

I’m just going to go through chronologically. Also under the cut because it’s... It’s a lot. Ana’s might end up longer, though.

“ As she took a closer look, she could see that the jacket and his flesh had been ripped apart by a shotgun blast. From that range, it should have killed him, but Jack had certain advantages. His wounds could heal themselves—a legacy of his past as a test subject and an enhanced soldier...“

First of all, we can finally do away with the ‘Gabe wasn’t trying to kill Jack’ theories because he absolutely was. Also, referring to Jack (and by extension Gabe) as test subjects says a lot about the nature of the SEP. Not an exact process, not a 100% smoothed out deal. Jack and Gabe were test subjects.

Jack’s got a crazy good healing factor. Like. We learn later the bullets from Reaper have a necrotic agent of some sort that’s trying to keep him from healing and his body is still pushing through to heal the wound literally minutes after the attack, also aided by Ana’s dart.

“ His genetic enhancements should have helped him acclimatize to different conditions, the same way they should have stopped the blood that was seeping through the shirt he’d tied across his midsection as a bandage. “

First of all, “genetic enhancements”. Second, Jack is able to acclimate to different weather very easily.

ALSO

How many times has Ana bailed his dumbass out of danger???

“ ...He made a face at the bitterness. “Any sugar?” “ “ ....“You’re a kitten, Jack,” Ana laughed. “

THIS IS FUCKING CUTE COME AT ME. I got that hc wrong Jack apparently likes sweet things if tea is too bitter for him. Fucking adorable you big punkass  funky boy.

Tangent here to talk about their banter? Like it’s so... honest? Like it’s just “these are two extremely close people who still have the fun sarcasm and are easily filling back into the role of close friends despite everything that’s happened”. It’s genuinely entertaining and I had a lot of fun reading the back and forth because it’s just fun and snarky and both have so much life to their replies. And it shows they know each other to the point that Ana knows Jack well enough that she literally drugs him because she knows he’s about to be a dumbass the minute he wakes up.

Also, proof that no one but the three of them and by extension Talon know Jack and Ana and Gabe are alive.

Jack took a trip to New York with his mother and loved the Egyptian museum as ‘his favorite part’, so that’s rly cute.

“ “We tried to find you,” Jack said somberly. “I used every resource at my disposal. Gabe even put McCree on it personally. Not a trace. Everyone else tried to convince me you were gone and that I was being irrational. But deep down I knew that you couldn’t be dead.” “

“...It turns out we couldn’t do it without you,”

“.... Don’t let this go. Don’t be like the others. They dismantled everything we spent our lives building, and then they made us into villains.”

“ “... You never were good at letting go,” Ana chided him. “Too stubborn for your own good.” “

Fucking. One of my big headcanons confirmed. That Jack and Gabe did everything in in their power to find Ana, and that Jack did not give up. If there’s something to be learned about his character from this it’s that Jack is a deeply emotional and very unforgiving character. He remembers, and he holds grudges like a motherfucker.

Even after the years, Jack was in Cairo because he believed Ana was alive and he wanted to find her.

Jack says he’s moving on and his quest is moving on but I don’t think Jack can let things go. Period. He couldn’t let go of Ana, Overwatch- his in-game lines “I’ve got a long memory”. Jack does not forget, and again, he holds grudges like a motherfucker. 

She was thought to be dead for years and yet Jack held out hope the entire time, all the way up to chasing her down in Egypt after hearing there was a vigilante there and hoping it was her. If we’re looking at canon Jack, canon Jack loves Ana deeply. She is an important person to him. Just like he loved Gabriel.

Which brings me to a big point. Jack is an angry, frustrated figure but he feels deeply. He feels so deeply for the people he’s with. Ana, Gabe, those people are so fucking important to him that the issue of Ana’s unknown fate, plus the (still only theorized) ‘betrayal’ from Gabriel, two people who were so important to him, turning to anger and vengeance would feel like the only option for him.

“ Ana read the desperation on Jack’s face. “Getting revenge for what happened won’t accomplish anything other than getting you killed.” “Maybe, but I still have to fight. Everyone else gave up, but not me.” “

This is the core of my style of characterization. If Jack lets this fight go- against Talon and Hakim and Los Muertos- he has nothing left. Jack was a soldier for the majority of his life. We know he enlisted around 18 and fought in the crisis, and led Overwatch, all adding up to about 30 years of “fighting the good fight” and something like 6 of fighting it from the shadows. At this point, giving up that fight would force him into an identity crisis, and I don’t think Jack wants to face that, so he just puts up walls against forming new bonds, and considers that, yes, he may die, but he wants to do what’s right. (it’s not healthy. There are so many times when Jack is wrong, etc, and he’ll fight you tooth and nail because he’s a stubborn jackass but he’s not a mentally healthy person)

This also supports my hc that Jack kind of blamed everyone. In that anger, Jack considered everyone at fault, and then sat on that anger and pain for years as he tried to find out what happened. He saw people either get to return to normal life, be forced into mercenary situations, or worse, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it- just try to find out what caused it and expose the people who ruined his life.

“ “Cairo and the world will suffer until we bring them all down! You have to see the bigger picture,” Jack said heatedly. “Are you even hearing yourself? You would never have made this argument before,” Ana said disapprovingly. “The way we do things matters.” “

Jack was the man who believed in saving everyone and Gabe was the bigger picture person, I think. I think Gabe did the dirty work no one else wanted because he saw what needed to be done and got it done for the greater good, even if that meant sometimes morally wrong choices in the moment. Now, Jack sees Hakim and Cairo, he sees the wrongness there and he doesn’t want to get involved because he knows Talon is Hakim’s benefactor and taking out Talon is the only true way to get rid of Hakim.

And we see that as much as he loves Ana, he is still angry and lashes out. He sees the world through a selfish view. He sees it as ‘this needs to get done and I don’t know why you don’t see it my way’ but Ana sees Cairo as she has for the time she’s been gone. Egypt is her home, she can’t see it rot under Hakim. This is her mission.

It was the sort of problem that was never Jack’s strong suit. He preferred two sides, concrete facts, and one clear, unequivocal decision.

In messy situations, Jack finds an answer, and he goes with it. And in a time when almost all his decisions are ‘messy’, Jack often has the moments between Los Muertos escaping and the grenade at Alejandra’s feet. There is what’s important now, and what’s important for the future. Deciding that Alejandra was the most important then, and then agreeing to help with Hakim, Jack is being forced to do what’s right again, and it causes him to fight against the personas of Soldier: 76 and of Strike-Commander. We hear SO much that Jack is stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, but he relents to Ana. He comes back after storming off and helps Ana take down Hakim. Hakim is the grenade at Alejandra’s feet- he cannot ignore his conscience, and here, he also knows he cannot do this without Ana.

“ He had gotten one good night’s sleep since he arrived in Cairo, and it was the first in as long as he could remember “ ...He was uneasy now. Staying in one place for too long was risky, especially now that Gabe would be looking for him. He had to move on.

Also going along with the “Jack just doesn’t stop” vein of characterization. Jack can’t stop. Especially now that Talon is very aware of his presence and that he’s coming after them.

“That’s why it’s a great photo!” laughed Jack.

cute.

So let’s get into Vincent.

Jack is gay, as confirmed by Chu. I have my issues with this reveal like I did with the Christmas comic and Tracer’s reveal. The romantic partner characters are not really, full characters. They’re stand-ins, and they’re not given a whole lot before they’re buried in the story again, but they do their job. Lena is a lesbian, and Jack is gay. This in itself makes me so happy. Because here, in this whole update, we are given a Manly Man’s Man in Jack- except that we learn he’s a deeply emotional man, struggling with trauma and mental health issues, and is so far from the picture so many people might have of a gay man. Like Lena, he isn’t defined by his sexuality, it’s just a part of him. Which is what we want. Yes, again, I have my issues with the reveal, but in the end, and if I’m deeply honest with myself, I’m happy that two mainstay characters in this game are irreversibly, wholly, completely confirmed inside and out as SAGA, and I’m happy that Jack is given that identity as someone who was open about it. Ana apparently knew Vincent well enough that she recognizes him from an old photo.

But in that vein, we get the fact that they’re separated, and that once upon a time Jack “I’ll never stop fighting” Morrison wanted to settle down in the quiet life with his then-boyfriend, and openly talked about that, at least with Ana if not others. Again, we’re given the image that Jack as a younger man was a very openly emotional, connected, and caring figure. Someone who loved the people he was close to dearly and showed that.

“At least you and Gabe managed to have families.”

Another one of those hcs I’m ding-ding at, Jack did not really engage in relationships as Strike-Commander. Whether or not he tried we don’t know, but he didn’t ‘manage’ to have a family, or connections beyond platonic love for people like Ana, and Gabe, and likely others. But it also ties into that resentment and anger he’s been nursing for so long. It’s not a kind remark. Not mean or hateful, just, kind of unnecessary.

“I just thought my mask was scary.” Jack smiled.

What a fucking dork.

In all. I’m happy. I’m so happy to see Jack confirmed as gay, I’d love to know more about Vincent, I’d love to see where this all goes, and I love that we have a continuation, more lore for Ana, and more personality for both of them- seeing these softer sides of the ghosts.

That being said, I’m happy with the s76 lore we have. I love him, he’s my dude, but we need lore on literally anyone else. I would be happy if their story was either on pause for the next however long or working in the background while other characters got their stories and their time in the spotlight. I want to see Zen, Lucio, Zarya, the Junkers. They need to be fleshed out. They need to be fully realized.

[pack-the-pack]

Hey! I'm pretty new to the omegaverse and just had a question. What happens if an alpha bites/marks an omega against their will?

Harô there, anon. And welcome to the dumpster fire that is ABO lol. As for your question: Well, I think it depends on some factors. Let me explain. When an Alpha bites an Omega that is known as a claim mark. So as the name implies, by biting on an Omega’s scent glands what the Alpha is doing is claiming them as their Omega. Usually this is all fine and dandy, but since your question is not about those, here are the possibilities: 

The Omega will be tied biologically to the Alpha for an undetermined ammount of time. 

I say undetermined because that depends for how long the Alpha bit into their glands, if the Omega has or hasn’t been bitten before by another Alpha, Beta or Omega, and if the Omega is already mated or not. See, when an Alpha and an Omega bite each other what they’re doing is introducing a set of proteins to their mate’s body through their saliva. Which will in turn mingle with their own proteins/natural scent and signals to their brains that this is their mate. Their brain then signals to the pituitary gland that they must start producing a scent that incorporates this new protein as part of their own new scent. This is why one’s scent changes when they mate with one another.

What this does is making your body create a sort of “addiction” in this new protein your mate has. Thus, why one craves for their mate’s scent when in distress. One starts to see said scent as essential for their survival and well-being.  When only one of the two people involved has said arrangement, that causes an imbalance in the power dynamics between the two. An Omega (or Alpha) that is bitten against their will, will be held captive of this unfortunate fate. Having their bodies depending on the other person’s scent and presence without having the reciprocity of the act.

The Omega (or Alpha/Beta) will feel incredibly insecure. They smell like the Alpha but the Alpha doesn’t smell like them. It is a sign of rejection. And for an Omega to be rejected by their mate is a serious detriment for their quality of life and mental state. Thus, why mating it is not taken lightly by people (at least in my verse). It is something that must be made with mutual understanding and consent, because it’s not just a bite mark on one’s neck. It is something that will interfere with the way your body responds to the world and the way your mind works on itself.

To bite someone (regardless of dynamics) unwillingly is a serious crime and carries terrible consequences. From more than 30 years in prison to life imprisonment. Some people in-universe would be even capable of arguing that mating is an immoral act on itself because of its intrusive nature (But that is an argument for another time). 

Regardless of any factor previously mentioned at the beginning, I think that anyone that is bitten will be temporarily addicted to the perpetrator’s presence. Which doesn’t mean that they are enslaved to the thought or that they’ll live every minute of every hour only craving that. That’s not what I mean at all. It means that they’ll still be operating as their normal self, but deep down their body is calling for something else, something missing. Even more so whenever they are faced with a particularly devastating or challenging situation. But honestly speaking I think that this extreme dependence would not exist in 99% of mated couples and here’s why.

“Since mating works like a “drug dependency” One just craves more of it the more they become immune to its previous effect”. 

The Ammount of bites one receives and how long they are attached DOES matter. 

Much like smoking a cigarette once doesn’t make you a smoker, being bitten once by one person doesn’t make you chained to her forever. If I recall correctly I read in a fanfiction (Dirty Little Secret, I think), how forced biting could affect an Omega when done for extended periods of time. There the bites were inflicted on an unmarked, unmated, young and scared Omega through the period of several weeks. This created an addiction that permanently linked the Omega to the Alpha. When he was finally rescued, the bond was already made and reinforced so many times that even intense rehab and neglect of the substance didn’t really make it go away. His mind was no longer clouded by the excessive ammount of “substance” within his body that made him crave for the horrible Alpha that had done that to him and he had regained his autonomy in every way possible at principle. All except for his bodily one. At least not entirely. 

That is because his circumstances were incredibly unfortunate and much easier to take advantage of. He had just recently presented, which made his body unbalanced with all the new changes, making it easier to temper with and to tarnish. He was not mated, which means he had not yet created a romantic association within his brain with another Alpha, Beta or Omega yet. In addition, he was unmarked, which ment his body had never been introduced to said procedure before. His body and mind were a blank canvas yet to be filled with various experiences and slowly develop into its own behaviour. However, this was stripped from him the moment someone pumped his veins full with unwarranted excessive amounts of Alpha juice. 

The “solution”, was simply intense rehab and keeping the Omega away from said person as best as they could. But the damage had already been done, and he remained unmated. The fact that his body needed to be claimed again when in intense distress didn’t change. Thus, the only other Alpha in his life took upon himself and started to bite him instead whenever the Omega was in an intense state of depravation and emotional recklessness. This brought upon many problems. This not only didn’t fix the problem by simply replacing Alpha 1 for Alpha 2, it also made it that everytime the Alpha bit him to give him relief, he was only reinforcing the idea in the Omega’s mind that they were mates. Which they weren’t (at that point at the story at least). So there was no real “solution”. It ended up being a “the lesser of two evils” situation. 

It’s also worth noting that this is an extreme case. The worse of all bad scenarios. In which there is no real solution other than replace one addiction for another. For most other people that pass through this and don’t fit these circumstances, the dependency is not as bad. It will vary in intensity from person to person depending on their age and when they presented, if they already have a lot of social links with other Alphas or not, if they are mated, if they were bitten before, etc. So I’m confident in saying that even if a person was bitten unwillingly by someone, through rehab, therapy and allowing their bodies to heal on their own and with the help of their significant others the effect is not permanent.

And after they are clean and the mark has completely vanish they will no longer be dependent of the perpetrator. There’s a catch though. Their scent will be permanently changed. Much like mated people don’t go back to their original scent entirely even after their own claim marks had vanished, a person that was unwillingly bitten won’t either. Their bodies already assimilated the substance as their own. And although it becomes weaker with time, it will never vanish entirely. Like a somber, invisible scar that they cannot get rid of.

The only way of doing so is having another person claim you again. Much like the previous example I gave, that will gradually “overwrite” the scent of the other Alpha. Your body will learn to crave something else and to produce something more effective than the previous “claimer” had given you. Something fresher and that makes you happier.  

 Treatments and living unmated but dependent. 

I do think however that one can have a fulfilling life without having a need to mate or to be bitten ever again. Say that in your verse you din’t want the solution to be replacing A with B. Then fine, why not replace A with B to Z? I’m fairly certain that medical care could come up with either a donation system or a synthetic replacement. In the case of the latter, you’d have the addiction fulfilled without being dependent of a single person, becayse your body doesn’t even have time to create an addiction with the new Alpha before you introduce it to another one. And in the second you don’t even need and actual Alpha to fulfil said addiction. The synthetic can do it on it’s own. Obviously the outcome would depend on which one you’d respond better to. Nevertheless, the important thing to keep in mind is that, like this, this terrible incident would not mean one’s entire life would change because of it. They can still live peacefully with all their autonomy and with barely any meltdowns until they found someone go take the wheel. And if that person never came, they’d be fine too.

I think that as tragic as all of this sounds, it is not the end for anyone. One could still have options and you could still be happy. No claim mark in the world can keep that away from those who are willing to overcome such ugly realities and strive for a better future.

Holy fuck this was long >.> I’m sorry for rambling for so long. I hope I didn’t lost you half way through this mess. I also apologize if I got any biological fact wrong or if my writing is confusing. I was tired when I answered this. But I did my best to correct all the mistakes I could spot on a second read. I really hope this clarified all doubts you could have.

And remember this is just my verse, you can have this sort of thing happen however you want in your verse. There are no wrong interpretations. I did enjoy answering this though. So thank you very much for the ask ^^.

[girl4music]

Xena and Gabrielle: Character study thesis

This is a character study thesis for explaining and understanding how and why Xena and Gabrielle are, as I always like to call them, the human representation of ‘Yin-yang'. Putting forth a point of view that clearly identifies and exemplifies that they are one soul in two bodies throughout the whole show, and as you watch each episode in sequence, it becomes apparent that they swap over roles and become each other.

Section 1: What ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is about.

What is the show about to begin with and how does it change to represent stronger and more substantiated content, that inadvertently revolutionizes the show passed its initial premise and delivers excellently written character development?

I could just say it's an action/drama/comedy show about a female ex-warlord who has turned good and now helps the innocent to seek redemption for the evil things she's done in her past, but that's honestly not the truth… at least… not the whole truth. That's just how it starts off. The show becomes much more than was ever intended for its original plan, and it seems almost by accident that it happens. What it becomes is something else entirely. What ‘Xena: Warrior Princess' is about, throughout all its seasons, is an EPIC romance about soulmates who find each other at the most critical time. The entire show is dedicated to the growth of these characters both as individuals and as a couple. They bring out the best in each other. It is a slow burn romance of best friends evolving into lovers. Very slow. But you see their connection from the very beginning. The evolution of these characters, in their individual storylines, and the storylines they have together, will be the main factor in the postulated idea that they were one soul in two bodies that eventually passed into each other. As you watch them, episode to episode, you see for yourself the evidence of that.

What my intention is with this character study is to point out when and where Xena and Gabrielle show signs of their spiritual essences permeating into each other through how much they influence each other's mindset and personality. I don't want to state the case that they turn into each other because they make each other that way. More so that they become each other because they are already whole at the soul level, but that it takes a lot of life experience in the negatives and positives to bring that out at the human level. It takes meeting each other and travelling together to set in motion the events of the indications of their oneness. To prove to them that they are indeed a part of each other because they are two parts of one whole. That's what I will try to explain as best I can in this thesis to help you recognize this same perspective and understand as to why it's important to be aware of as you watch the show. So that you can see and appreciate for yourself that stronger and substantiated content that shows you that you're watching a story of the romance that is just as good, or in my opinion, BETTER than those classic love stories, such as ‘Romeo and Juliet' or ‘Guinevere and Lancelot.'

Section 2: In the right place at the right time.

How does meeting each other play a huge part in the changing of Xena and Gabrielle’s lives, and why was it exactly at that moment in exactly that way that they did meet when it could have been at any other time and in any other place?

Forget about Xena's introduction in ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys' because this is really where it all starts. Not only Xena's individual storyline in seeking her redemption for the sins of her past but also hers and Gabrielle's storyline of going from sheer strangers to the most loyal of partners. They meet each other in the most unusual of circumstances. While during a fight. Gabrielle, as well as most of her town, including her mother and sister, gets taken hostage by Draco's henchmen, Hector and his band of thugs. He has plans to take them to the ruthless warlord and sell them off to the highest bidder. Xena runs for the cover of the nearby bushes and watches as the young blonde bravely steps forward and demands from him to take her in exchange for letting the rest of the captured go. He raises his hand ready to whip her and that's when our lead protagonist steps in to stop the situation. This saves Gabrielle from a severe beating, that in her brittle form, she probably wouldn't have ever recovered from and eventually died.

Unbeknownst to the audience on a first watch, it is also the moment when Xena's about to commit suicide. So, we take in the information that Gabrielle saved Xena's life at the same time Xena saved hers. It's so subtle, that if you don't pay attention, you will miss this, and it will take you a couple of run-throughs watching the scene to notice it. There is evidence for this interpretation as it is revealed in Season 6, during the episode ‘Legacy', where Xena admits to Gabrielle that she changed her mind, or rather, took over it enough so that she didn't go through with it. This information changes the tone of the entire show, I would say, as it immediately brings you right into what it is that Xena and Gabrielle do best for one another. Change and save each other's lives. Constantly preventing these dark tendencies of suicidal or self-sacrificial instances to keep each other alive. Therefore, they meet then and there to do just that. Change and save each other's lives. The circumstances were foretold. It was destined that they should discover each other in and at that precise moment. For in that lifetime, if they had followed through with those events, they never would have discovered each other at all, as they would both be dead.

Section 3: The balance of ‘Yin and Yang’.

What is it that makes two completely opposite and contradictory forces interconnected and complementary, and how does this relate to Xena and Gabrielle and explain the intensity and seemingly intrinsic nature of their relationship so accurately?

I've been developing a theory for a while now about Xena and Gabrielle that's about how they influenced each other in personality and changed each other emotionally. I sometimes refer to Xena and Gabrielle as ‘Yin and Yang', as to me, they are the perfect human representation of duality. Basically, what I mean by that is that they are each other's balance. Their spiritual essences permeate into each other throughout the course of the show, and this is my theory that they become as one by the end of it. I wanted to present that as an overall thesis because there was so much within the episodes that showed this incredible spiritual connection between these two characters that you just don't pick up unless you are conscious of the perspective in the first place. 

Before we go into it, I first want to explain what I interpret ‘Yin and Yang' to mean. ‘Yin and Yang' are two polar oppositions. For example; the Dark principle and the Light principle. The principles are contradictory, but they complement each other in that one principle can provide what the other principle does not have. I use the analogy of a puzzle piece to explain this. A puzzle piece can only connect into another piece if that piece is the perfect opposite to it, otherwise, it can't fit and therefore won't connect. The pieces in a puzzle are designed in such a way so that they can fit into each other to create a bigger picture. It's just the same as a soulmate, but I prefer to use the term puzzle piece, as it makes far more sense to me. ‘Yin and Yang' are never separate as one needs the other to exist. Much like how you can't have space without solid or solid without space. It cannot be either solid or space as neither principle can exist without the other there. It needs its polarity to exist in the first place. Even if these principles appear to be separated, they are not, as neither is what it is without its significant other, or it cannot function properly without it. Understand what I mean by that? "Shadow and Light are two sides of the same coin, one cannot exist without the other", as Zelda so beautifully put it in ‘The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess' game.

Let's get on to how Xena and Gabrielle are the perfect human representation of ‘Yin and Yang', and how they influenced each other in personality and changed each other emotionally because they are soulmates. Think about how opposite the pair is and how that might be beneficial to them in a relationship. Xena is very mind-orientated. She thinks three steps ahead of the game. Constantly thinking, planning and measuring. This gives her extreme advantage in battle, as she always knows what to do before she does it. To begin with, she has a lot of trouble with intimacy and emotion and is very stiff and stoic. So she isn't much of a talker, other than the few well-thought-out intimidating lines to her foes. But because of this, she's very good at listening to others and listening to her surroundings, which proves to be very useful to Gabrielle, who is very heart-orientated. Gabrielle feels, and she feels very deeply. This causes her to act before she thinks and that gets her into a lot of trouble in the early episodes of the show, which Xena just happens to have the ability and the quick strategic thinking to sort out. To begin with, Gabrielle is naïve and idealistic. But because of this, she is a fantastic storyteller and is very compassionate, therefore can offer emotional support and healing to those that need a bit of a pick me up at times, such as Xena. Do you see how their differences in strengths and weaknesses help to aid each other? One can give what the other lacks. They feed off each other. They fill the empty spaces in their lives as individuals by being together. They need each other to be all that they are and to evolve as people. Together, they are a complete whole. This is precisely what ‘Yin and Yang' stands for. It's balance. The scales are equal in the principles when together but unequal when apart. They balance each other out.

So, as I've stated above, this leads me to a theory that because Xena and Gabrielle can influence each other in personality and change each other emotionally like this, eventually they swap over roles. The principles correlate with each other so much that they end up passing into each other and by the end of the show, Xena and Gabrielle become each other.

Section 4: A dark heart is shadowed until the light shines in.

How do the consequences of a dark past have an extremely effective influence over the thoughts and feelings of the Warrior Princess, and why isn't a guilty conscience enough for her to stay on the road to redemption and walk it without promising to her compassionate companion that she would not return to her old ways?

The introduction of the character Callisto to the show adds a much heavier layer to what is already an overwhelming story of redemption, vengeance, love, forgiveness and balance, which are to me, the main themes in the show that are reiterated repeatedly as it progresses in writing, production and direction. Callisto becomes the main villain in the show, but she isn't your run-of-the-mill evil villain. Oh, no, no, no. I like to think of Callisto as more of an antagonist than a villain. She has an extremely complicated storyline of her own that inexplicably ties in with Xena's because Xena murdered her family, or so that's what she adamantly believes. It's hard to explain or understand just how much this character is an integral reason for Xena's reformation from being an evil warlord to a heroine for good, and how the consequences of her dark past have really screwed Callisto up and turned her into, for lack of a better word, a psychopath who is absolutely bent on destroying everything that makes Xena who she is. Starting with her reputation, and eventually escalating to the people she loves and cares about in all the world. This character is so crucial to ‘Xena: Warrior Princess', that there is never any way to stop her even when she dies. She's that dedicated to ruining Xena and Gabrielle's lives. Callisto doesn't just want to kill Xena. She wants to kill her soul because that is what Xena has done to her. It's hard to think of Callisto as any kind of villain because you develop such sympathy for her throughout all her appearances in the show. She's so messed up in the head that you just don't think of her as an evil person, just an extremely depressed and misunderstood one. What happens to her, in the end, is something that needed to happen, and I was unbelievably happy did. She did terrible things, but she needed the opportunity to be saved and forgiven as Xena did, and fortunately, the show's producers gave her the ending she deserved.

This leads me on to what happens when Callisto meets Xena face to face for the first time in the late Season 1 episode, titled ‘Callisto', and how Gabrielle plays a part in stopping Xena from crumbling down in guilt and regret and letting her go because of it once they captured her. Xena doesn't blame Callisto for how she ended up, knowing that it was her own fault she became that way in the first place. Even if she didn't mean for her family to be killed in the fire her own men started against her orders all those years ago in ‘Cirra', Callisto's hometown, she still felt solely responsible for the consequences that followed.

There is a very important scene, which I call ‘The Promise' scene, from this episode where Gabrielle asks Xena to promise her that if anything happened to her in their travels together, that she would not turn away from her path of atonement, and rampage like a raving blood-lusted lunatic the way Callisto was. You see for the first time Xena's vulnerability and struggle with sensitivity. She was finding it so difficult to cry in front of Gabrielle. She tries to send her off to bed before she could see the tears streaming down her face, but Gabrielle wasn't having it. She made sure she promised her, and that she was sincere with the words. She sees the tears and tries to brush them away from her face. Xena immediately turns away from her and tells her to go to bed, but she doesn't move. Gabrielle just sits there by her side sharing her pain and accepting her for who she is now, which I find extremely powerful and beautiful. Xena has probably never encountered acceptance like that in her life before, or she wasn't paying enough attention to see it. The fact that Gabrielle refuses to leave her must have thrown her off. She left herself unguarded for the very first time in her life in front of this young woman. As the flickering flames danced before them, illuminating their faces, we see the Warrior Princess' walls down for the very first time. The Bard had succeeded in bringing out her sensitive side, if only just for a moment. This would be the beginning of a transformation so intense, it would completely change Xena's personality and mindset forevermore. Love and forgiveness would be her saving grace, and the beautiful soul sat across from her would be the reason why it happened at all.

Flashing forward to Season 4… When Xena lost Gabrielle she focused on trying to see her again instead of going back to her old ways. In ‘Adventures In The Sin Trade', while searching for her, she realizes she had to put something right that she caused to happen in her history. Keeping her promise to Gabrielle, she tells her that she can't carry on in her search for her. Sticking to ‘The Greater Good', as that is what she would want her to do.

The final sections to this character study thesis are to tie up loose ends in the perspective and conclude the overall point that there was a lot of logic and reasoning to give the opinion that Xena and Gabrielle are the human representation of ‘Yin-yang', that served on the basis of proof that they passed into and became each other in the end, as one, and will forever be together in all the alternative realities, soul reincarnations, and any denominations of the afterlife they would experience because their love was just that strong.

Section 5: The three-way love triangle.

How does Gabrielle and Ares' interesting dynamic significantly impact Xena, and what is it that seems to make the Warrior Princess side with the Battling Bard and reject the God of War, despite having an unwillingness to do so, and no control over the situations she's put in?

To start off, we'll talk about what it is that Gabrielle and Ares have in common if anything. Obviously, it's Xena. They both have a thing for her, but it's more than that. They both also have an influence on her in different ways. It appears that Ares is Xena's Dark side and Gabrielle is Xena's Light side. This is what I really want to explain in-depth here to show the significant changes in Xena's personality and mindset in her daily life travelling with Gabrielle and not being guided by Ares anymore. So, we've established that Gabrielle is Xena's Light. Xena even refers to her as that in ‘Adventures In The Sin Trade', just as she was deciding on what to do between looking for her or helping the Amazon tribe pass over into eternity. She chooses to do the latter, as she knows it's what Gabrielle would want her to do, and she dedicates that specific good deed to her later in the second part of the story, exclaiming, "This one's for you, Gabrielle." So Gabrielle's influence on Xena was for her to dedicate her time, energy and life to ‘The Greater Good'. Helping others and being a heroine for the world.

In Season 5, in the episode ‘Succession', after Gabrielle's physical transformation into a sai-wielding warrior, Ares offers Gabrielle a chance to become his ‘Warrior Queen', even though he has absolutely no interest in her at all when it comes to who deserves the opportunity to carry on the God of Wars' mantle. He wouldn't give it to Mavican, and at that time, she was clearly the better fighter. So why was it that he was offering the position to Gabrielle of all people? Why is he giving her a chance to prove herself as a worthy candidate? Twice, in fact, he makes this odd proposition to her. Now, this isn't really brought up in the show, but I personally think it comes down to his tendency to use people as leverage to get to others. In this case, Xena. I personally feel he had no intention of giving Gabrielle the honour of what he would gladly give Xena if she were to take it. But he knew if there was one thing that would make her take it, Gabrielle would be it. Gabrielle was his sway over her resolve. This, I believe, was a plan he was concocting for a long time since he knew that Gabrielle was her weakness, and yet the only thing that stood against him when it came to manipulating Xena into being triggered into her warlord ways again. It wasn't her father or her mother or even her son. It was always Gabrielle. Gabrielle was the ticket to getting his way, and he used her in ‘Succession' and ‘Seeds Of Faith' as a ploy to force Xena to say "yes" to being his ‘Warrior Queen'.

Which then leads us on to the way Gabrielle thought about Ares. Her opinion of what his constant attempts to try winning Xena over from her would ultimately do to her. It would destroy her and everything she's worked for in seeking her redemption. According to Gabrielle, he would be her downfall to be a better person. A person that wasn't necessarily good or bad, but someone who would always choose the selfish route because she wouldn't be given the choice to do the opposite. THIS WAS IT! This was why Gabrielle always won the battle for Xena's love and affection. That choice of being good or evil. Gabrielle gave her a CHOICE, whereas Ares never did. Gabrielle did not try to manipulate, condition or control Xena. What she did was something far greater than that. She showed her that living for others would be more fulfilling than living for herself. She reminded her that although she could do anything she desired, the consequences were that she would never be truly happy, and innocents would suffer. Gabrielle had so much faith in Xena, that even when she did do something wrong, she trusted that Xena could find her own way out of it when it was showcased several times in the show that she could not without her help. Xena loved her immensely for this reason and despised Ares because he provided her with no other alternative. Before Gabrielle came into Xena's life, Xena thought Ares' ways were all there was for her, and she just couldn't live with herself anymore.

So now we come to the overall impact this Light and Dark dynamic had on Xena. The events in the episode, ‘Chakram', told Gabrielle that Xena couldn't be entirely on one side of the spectrum or the other. She needed both her Light and Dark to be the best warrior she could be and to do the most good she could. But she didn't need Ares because Gabrielle succeeded in doing what Ares never could. That was bringing her back into the Dark enough to balance her as a person. Enough to bring her sense-of-self back. You see, despite wanting Xena to be in complete opposition to that, Gabrielle was able to understand how much both sides were needed, and the importance of that duality. This means we've uncovered something amazing to do with Gabrielle's individual influence over Xena. That Gabrielle wasn't just her Light. She was also her way of staying balanced. She was the reason the real Xena, as we know her to be, existed, as the Light cannot exist without the Dark, as previously stated in Section 3 of this thesis. Gabrielle was her balance. Her reason for existing, at least, until the moment came when she had to sacrifice her life and her happiness to follow the ‘Way Of The Warrior' and be ultimately redeemed.

Section 6: No going back and no way forward.

How does being in an alternative reality affect the Battling Bard's personality and mindset once she encounters Xena within it, why does she behave so differently and aggressively in this reality, and what made her make such a drastic decision to destroy ‘The Universe' when we, as the audience, know how much she values the peace and well-being of human life?

Gabrielle, to begin with, is idealistic, empathetic, persuasive, philosophical, spiritual, kind, compassionate, naïve, enthusiastic; the labels that define one being heart-orientated. That changes as the show progresses. Gabrielle becomes quite a complex character that has a lot of layers to her as she's making her transition through the show. A lot of her personality becomes very nuanced. You'll have to look quite deeply into her character to pick up her personality later in the show, much like you do with Xena in the earlier episodes. Xena, to begin with, does not put her heart on her sleeve. She is so stoic that one can't have a solid grasp on her true personality because her heart is guarded, and she protects it by being strong-minded. By not talking or expressing herself in any audible way. She has issues with showing intimacy and emotion. That starts happening to Gabrielle too with all that happens to her in Season 3 and 4. She develops that stoic-ness, only she's a lot more able to handle it because she has a lot more emotional strength and is much more expressive than Xena is. She's able to express how she feels when she's upset easier than Xena can. She's able to be that emotional person without lashing out and going way over-the-top with it or holding it all in so that eventually it all explodes anyway.

The one time when this doesn't happen, and she does indeed go over-the-top and lash out emotionally, is in the Season 6 episode ‘When Fates Collide'. Not only does she, in her blind rage and desperation, disregard all consequences for humanity and reality as she knew it, and destroys the alternative Universe, but she also makes it very apparent that she blames ‘The Fates' for the mess of the loom, and the situation her and Xena were in, rather than Caesar. That is very uncharacteristic of her. That doesn't sound like the Gabrielle we know, that would always take in all information first before making such judgement, and that would always see the good in all before accusing them of any kind of wrongdoing. What happened? Where's our compassionate gal gone? Why is this how she acts in this episode? You could make the argument that she was living such a peaceful life in this alternative Universe that any kind of brush with danger and trauma would fire her up immediately, making her extremely angry and reckless, and make her do something she would possibly end up regretting. Selfishly and heartlessly putting all of humankind aside just to vent her emotions. That is a valid argument… However, I think it has more to do with the fact that Gabrielle, regardless of which Universe she's in, is one of these people that just can't be at peace with doing the same thing day in and day out, and not having any sort of surprise or shock or thrill. Not having a change in the schedule. After all, isn't that why she left her home to travel with Xena in the primary Universe? It’s because she was sick of the conservative, boring lifestyle and wanted an adventurous, exciting lifestyle where no two days were ever the same.

So, you see, it's not uncalled for that Gabrielle would react like this although it seems that way. There is sufficient reasoning behind it. But what strikes me most is how quickly she breaks the mould of the peaceful playwright, as she's known to be in this Universe, as soon as she comes into contact with Xena, who is known as the Empress Of Rome. Despite knowing her for a few candle marks at best, she is already so invested in her that she becomes this emotional and aggressive when Julius Caesar sentences Xena to death and wants to do something about the unfortunate condition she's in. We know it's because they're soulmates, but these characters don't know that. They aren't aware of everything to do with the former reality, so why is Gabrielle acting this way despite living a tranquil life? Something within her changed, and it was a quick change because in the former reality this was always her fate. That she'd never remain the Gabrielle that was innocent and sweet and calm when her karma comes to intertwine with Xena's so strongly. There was a fire in her. A rebellious attitude that was just waiting to be unleashed. This was meant to be, and somehow, she knew that. She knew that's the way it was supposed to be. So she didn't care. She chose to destroy 'The Universe' because living an entire lifetime without Xena just wasn't acceptable. Xena and Gabrielle were so much a part of each other, that it didn't matter how long or little they knew each other for in any lifetime. They were connected in every single one of them and would be for eternity. This much, made sense to Gabrielle, that nothing else was beyond or above it. She wanted to get back to the life where she never felt empty or lost or bored. She wanted Xena and she didn't care what she had to do or had to give up to get her.

It is my personal belief that Gabrielle behaved this way because it was inevitable that she would become just like Xena, as her original wish was to be just that. Xena would permeate into her personality so much that it would ultimately and completely change her emotionally. Even using such terms and phrases the likes Xena would use to get her way, such as "so be it!" For better or worse she was the other half of Xena's soul and although their personalities were so contradictory, they complemented each other so perfectly that they eventually passed into each other, so that even their personalities were the same. It really didn't matter what timeline, Universe, dimension, reincarnation or afterlife they were in… they still weren't balanced or whole without each other because they were one. They were one whole soul. 

Section 7: “You’re where I belong, I belong with you.”

How does travelling with Xena all those years make Gabrielle feel about her, and why does she choose to be with Xena's family over her own family, or even her Amazon tribe, when she finally would be laid to rest?

In the episode from Season 6, titled ‘The Abyss', Gabrielle gets wounded and is on the verge of dying from pneumonia. She confesses to Xena that her dying wish was to be buried with Xena's family; Cyrene and Lyceus. This confession threw Xena off-guard, as that is probably the most tragically romantic thing you could ever say to someone. Furthermore, she explains why she'd rather be buried with Xena's family than her own. She's basically saying, "I'm dying, but I still want to be with you. You are more important to me than anyone else in my life", and that's pretty freaking intense. I do not blame Xena for the tears rolling down her cheek. It's a beautiful statement, and yet so upsetting at the same time. She has taken Gabrielle away from her family, even if she didn't mean to, and she's chastising herself mentally for it, as we see a little later in the scene where she says she's lead her on a path she was never meant to walk. To Gabrielle, she couldn't be more wrong. Gabrielle has always considered Xena her "home". She's stated several times that with and to Xena is where she belongs. Xena is her path. So it's not surprising that she would have a wish like this. It's a testament to show how much Gabrielle is invested in Xena's life. From the very start when she met her and chose to travel with her on the road, to the very end, when she stated that Xena was her whole life and that she refused to lose her.

It’s sad, but beautiful and romantic at the same time. Tragic romance. It’s kind of like ‘Romeo and Juliet’, only she never took her own life at the reality of Xena being dead and staying that way. At least, I hope she didn’t, because that would be truly tragic. The overall point is that no matter what, Gabrielle would always choose Xena. It’s paramount to her to always be with Xena. Even in death. You don’t make a statement like the one she did in this episode unless you are 100%, unequivocally, unconditionally in love with the person.

This is a character study video showcasing how much Xena and Gabrielle need each other in their lives to stay on the right path for themselves. Xena seeking her redemption and being a fighter for ‘The Greater Good’. Gabrielle transitioning from a simple village girl into a warrior. This video looks into what it is they most desire in their hearts. To belong. They belong to and with each other. This is a collaboration between me and @warriorbard-always.

Conclusion: “In a flurry of snow, two breaths of wind unite and become as one, and then disappear into each other.”

How will Gabrielle deal with the shocking, unannounced death of her beloved, and will she respect her wish and love her enough to let her go so she can receive her ultimate redemption and an eternal rest?

After being told that Xena has to stay dead, Gabrielle goes through the motions of understanding as to why. She takes the information in and ponders it, but you can see the defiance on her face. The morally justified Bard makes a bold statement, exclaiming that she doesn't care about the 40,000 souls that would be eternally damned if Xena were brought back to life. She doesn't agree. She doesn't think it's right. She wrestles with her own code of conduct. The same code she asked Xena to stick to all those years ago in that longhouse in Tripolis when she was wounded by a poisoned arrow and had only hours to live. Back then it felt right to say ‘The Greater Good' was more important than her own life. But of course, it's not her own life she is losing now, is it? Gabrielle, once again, is stuck between a rock and a hard place. She must decide whether to accept the consequences of her beloved passing on into eternity or denying her an eternal rest, and her ultimate redemption. It may be the hardest choice she has ever made. The poetic verse in the title of the final section of this thesis perfectly describes exactly what happened to Xena and Gabrielle throughout the course of the entire show, which leads me to the conclusion of it. When Xena disappeared at the end of the final episode of ‘Xena: Warrior Princess', ‘A Friend In Need Part II', what happened was she transferred over the last of her spiritual essence into Gabrielle. Gabrielle had a lot of her spirit already within her, which is what allowed her to touch Xena physically when material objects like her chakram just went right through her. That didn't happen with Gabrielle because they shared a spiritual connection that was so intense, it proved to us that they are one soul in two bodies. One body of which no longer existed, but the spirit still lived on in Gabrielle, so that instead, they became one soul in one body. This meant that Gabrielle was now just as much of a capable warrior as Xena was and would be just fine on her own in carrying on the legacy of the Warrior Princess because she never really was on her own at all. Ever. Xena was always with her. She was just inside her, and therefore, had the ability to appear beside her in ethereal form, from the other side, even though she no longer had a physical body. This is just how Gabrielle remembered her in her heart. With such a graphic imagination as hers and hundreds of self-written stories describing her, she could create the exact form of the woman she fell in love with standing right beside her whenever she wanted and could still physically touch her and hold her.

At the apex of it all, Xena and Gabrielle weren't just perfectly balanced, they were also physically complete. This is the true nature of ‘Yin-yang'. My most personal headcanon for the show is the belief that when it did come time for Gabrielle to die, she chose to be cremated like Xena, so she could combine her ashes with Xena's. Knowing because they're soulmates, they're connected as one and will be together for eternity, in many lifetimes and beyond.

Summary: You can love someone so deeply and so intensely that you become one with them, and not only that, but you can also pass into them, so that you become them, and they become you. It's through this that you will come to the realization that you are one in the same. There was never any separation between you, and there never will be because there was never a beginning, nor will there be an end. You and them and your love can only be an end in itself, as you were always one soul in two bodies all along. This is how beautiful and powerful true love between soulmates is.

"The highest state of human love is the unity of one soul in two bodies." - Sri Aurobindo.

My character study video for Xena, detailing the challenges she went through both when she was evil and good, showing that she needed both to become the hero she does, and commit to ‘The Greater Good’.

Dear Xena,

You have been through so many challenges that took a toll on your heart and soul in your search for redemption. There were times when you let yourself slip back into your old ways out of anger and hatred, but with the help of your Light, you found the willpower to get yourself back on track again. You were finally able to reconcile with your Dark side, knowing that without it, you would not be the force you need to be for ‘The Greater Good'. You came to understand how important it was for you to stay balanced so that you would always have the skill, strength and determination to fight evil, and be the Warrior Princess we all know and love.

My character study video for Gabrielle that took 2 days to make. It is in dedication to my favourite character of all time, with the greatest written character development and evolution that I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s about time she was honoured as the true warrior and hero she is.

Dear Gabrielle,

In your immense journey in evolving into a warrior, you learned that the fighting, violence and pain was inevitable and unavoidable. Despite all you had to go through and all you've overcome, you've still managed to remain on the side of ‘The Greater Good', when so many things and unfair experiences that happened to you were completely the total opposite from anywhere even close to great or good. It got really Dark for you at times, yet you never lost your Light. You only ever realized that it was worth fighting for it. I respect and admire you for the huge amount of emotional strength you had to have in order to be able to stay sane. My incredible Battling Bard… I really hope I did you justice!

[roominthecastle]

“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.” - Aristotle, The Art of Rhetoric

Well, look at that ancient Greek dude rolling out a pitch-perfect summary of - what I currently consider to be - Liz’s core issue on TBL. My core issue is that I cannot keep things brief, so I’ll poke this some more bc damn S5 was so much better than I expected, and it left me with an urge to try and sort this canon mess into sth I can swallow.

What’s the deal with Liz, why is her relationship with Red in such a terrible shape at the end of S5, and why is that a likely promise of better things to come?

It’s possible to look at this deterioration as a more or less continuous (organic!) process that reaches back at the very beginning; a process to which both characters have contributed their fair share over the years and now they are reaping the consequences and setting themselves up for a potentially healing collision.

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer with closely-guarded secrets and a pervasive guilt-complex. Putting them together is like putting mints in a bottle of coke: even on a perfect sunny day it's the kind of fun that leaves a mess.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence. When Red scales things back (i.e. stops going on guilt-trips whenever others don’t feel like facing the consequences of their actions), it only makes things worse. This is the dark side of their intense "lock and key" dynamic, the deep angst pit that has been fore-fronted since S3B due to a rapid sequence of betrayals Red suffers from those closest to him. Tom triggers both empathy and repulsion in him, which in turn feeds his self-hatred and prompts him to keep enabling Liz out of guilt, creating an unsustainable bubble that finally bursts in S5.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red it’s still obsession and rumination. At any given time Liz works off of a partial image of him, which is less about him keeping things from her and more about her purposefully ignoring parts of him in a misguided and doomed attempt to keep an illusion of safe simplicity (she does this with Tom, too). Meanwhile Red displays clear signs of compassion fatigue, which comes with its own destructive habits and distortions of reality.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons. This simple truth has been a background tension factor in the Red/Liz relationship from the get-go. It’s mirrored in Red’s earlier troubles with Madeline and in Liz’s “Tom problem”. It keeps them united yet out of sync, which leads to misunderstandings, doubts, and quite a lot of friction.

more on these behind the cut:

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer.

Liz has a narcissistic streak and a tendency to delude herself as a messed-up coping mechanism, all of which she voices right off the bat in the pilot episode when Cooper asks her to profile herself (and to give us a brief intro to the character). These manifest chiefly as

(1) angry, aggressive outbursts (2) a sense of entitlement/egocentrism (3) blame-shifting

and she displays these traits to varying degrees throughout the show.

Now add to these the standard “Reddington Effect” that gets pointed out by other characters, articulating what Liz has been feeling since day one:

“There's no one on earth who can make a woman feel like the center of his universe more than Raymond Reddington.” (204)

“I was star-struck. It was exciting and captivating and... it consumed me. My work, my marriage.” (411)

We can also witness this "soft power” in action when Red approaches Zoe, Berlin’s daughter, to use her against her father. We can see how easily he can charm and pull people in to get what he wants. Sometimes it hilariously backfires - as it should - but that’s beside the point rn. The point is, Liz seems to receive this standard treatment, too, and she’s immediately, intensely receptive to it.

We can see both the positive (fascination-attraction) and the negative (rejection-aggression) side of this chemistry early on. She gets exposed to Red’s regular charm routine but it’s ultimately a v different experience because what those women quoted above don’t know (and what Liz still doubts) is that with her, his feelings run very, very deep. She is both the means and the end, the journey and the destination. Neither can walk this road without the other but walk it they must.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence.

Thank God I have Tom, because with you, I never know what to believe. I have never lied to you. How the hell would I know?

Red’s secretive, seductive, guilt-ridden behavior feeds Liz’s narcissistic impulses.

(1) His ingrained "I will never tell you everything” ground rule regularly forms a volatile mix with her proneness to irritability and anger. There are countless examples of this (often understandable) reaction with a wide range that goes from a raised voice to actual physical aggression.

(2) It also clashes with her belief that she's automatically entitled to be told everything, regardless of the possibility that knowing might not make much difference to her but could get others killed, or the fact that she’s often careless w/ sensitive info and sometimes straight-up ignores the answer anyway.

This is an irresponsible and wasteful way of going about getting answers. Wanting to know doesn't entitle anyone to know. It's not at all surprising that Red - whose very life depends on carefully calculated discretion - is rarely fully forthcoming. Still, this is a major source of friction, esp as it seems to run counter to him telling her how special she is and treating her as such with a consistency that most well-adjusted people would fall for. A narcissistic personality like hers stands even less chance. This triggers jealousy and possessiveness very early on, and later engenders a full-blown expectation that when push comes to shove, he would always put her needs above anybody else’s, including his own. This (partially conditioned) expectation is in play e.g. when Tom re-enters her life and also when he violently leaves it again.

(3) Red is also burdened with a lot of chronic guilt which makes him an easy target for blame-shifting by those select few he loves. He often allows Liz to push blame on him for things he is not responsible for and he suffers in silence because “in his heart, he knows he must pay”. This also enables her to delude herself into thinking that he's indeed the unified source of all her problems, which makes her receptive to Mr. Kaplan’s terrible Solution to Nothing that targets him as such. Red has branded himself a “sin eater” and this gets taken full advantage of in a way that veers into emotional abuse. It paves the way for Operation Possum and its fallout that ripples across the next two seasons.

These 3 major negative “lock and key” interactions combine and reach a very unhealthy peak in S3/B. Liz’s thoughtless, pointless fake death stunt pushes Red to an edge he barely manages to pull himself back from, and it throws a wrench in the delicate cogwheels of their relationship where the degree of functionality and “healthiness” has always hinged on proportionate reciprocity (of good and bad alike). The faked death plan is - among other things - so disproportionately cruel and so exceptionally dumb and pointless, it unhinges this interplay.

It shakes Red from his grief- and guilt-induced stupor and cracks his habit of putting Liz on a pedestal. In S4 it is now Dembe who gets to be referred to as the "light in the darkness", which, given the changed circumstances, is a much better arrangement for both Liz and Red. Red would never ask anyone to carry this burden but the truth is, he needs someone like that by his side to keep him from falling to pieces. Dembe is a centered, reliable, well-adjusted person who can carry this heavy weight. Liz can't and she shouldn't, either. Now Dembe needs to be the lighthouse keeper as they navigate their stormy relationship.

On top of pulling Liz from the pedestal, Red also begins to scale back his willingness to play buffer and absorb blame. He pushes back against the kind of behavior he partially conditioned and enabled. He refuses to give in to Mr. Kaplan’s absurd and reckless vendetta that still targets him as the “root of all evil” in Liz’s life. He refuses to keep serving as a scapegoat for Tom’s failings and Liz’s self-imposed blindness, but the most significant “slight” contributing to the big fracture in his relationship with her is his refusal to share the secret of the bag.

“That’s why you’re here. That’s… Not to help me, not to avenge Tom’s death, but to help yourself and get your precious secret back.”

It is less about the secret itself and more about Red prioritizing it above her. She is jealous again but this time it is not directed at a person but at his “precious secret” that ultimately separates him from her, and once again it masquerades as projected and misplaced anger stemming from her deeper desire for their relationship to be close and genuine.

We have been here before when the Fulcrum surfaced:

"That's why you came into my life then. And that's why you're here now. Not because of me or who I am to you, whatever connection we might have, but because of some... object. Some thing."

and after her name gets cleared in S3/B:

I thought maybe after all we've been through the past three months that you might want to take a break. It's a mythic battle, and it's not anywhere close to being over. It's your battle, not mine.

and then again with the bag of bones. “Not me but” is the underlying issue that gets to her in each of these instances and it always manifests as anger.

From her warped perspective (warped by pain, confusion, and narcissism) he is deeply hurting her and taking everything from her to keep himself safe and cozy. It is the complete betrayal of her (partially conditioned but still unreasonable) expectation that he’d always put her and her needs first. In her eyes, this is again proof that their relationship, just like the one with Tom, has been a mere tool, a manufactured illusion, which - coupled with the impostor reveal - must truly mean Red never really cared for her at all.

But her assessment is once again dead wrong because she refuses to take a careful look at all the available information in proper context - a broader context where her personal issues are not the only ones of importance and where Red not bending to her every wish, esp those that make him deeply miserable or an instant murder victim, is not a sign of lack of genuine feelings but of a healthier attitude. She is also projecting anger at her own dishonesty with herself on him, and while it worked back when Red was receptive to it bc it was conducive to his self-flagellation, this messed up coping mechanism is finally breaking down, too, due to his increasing resistance and the multiplying events that signal he was never that alleged single source of evil.

"We want the same thing."

Indeed. It's the need underpinning Liz's anger, the same one Red has already articulated, albeit indirectly: "an inextricable intimacy and a commitment." Liz uses anger to express this, Red uses fish stories and Tom.

We were both half right. Together, we were right.

Liz sees Red's commitment forever lying elsewhere: with his precious secrets. Red sees Liz's commitment tied up in her relationship with Tom even after his betrayal, even after his literal death. They’ve been longing for the other to break away and commit, but this longing still manifests indirectly and out of sync: she pulls Tom between them like a guardrail (and DG, too), so Red flees into his “work” as a defensive response, which she interprets as lack of genuine interest and withdraws further into safe denial, and we have a vicious cycle on our hands. Despite all that, she still wants him to give up his secrets and he still wants her to give up her fixation on Tom. It’s no accident Red is so captivated by her when she describes her fantasy to him. It’s v much his, too.

But they both feel betrayed right now and both cling to their respective security blankets: Red to his secrets, Liz to her anger.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red, it’s obsession and rumination.

Liz's remark about Red during her therapy session is telling and relevant here:

"Some of what he's done is unimaginably bad. But some of what he's done for me is unimaginably good."

She has been privy to many good things Red has done for others (hell, an entire county once) but those are not factored in when she evaluates his "goodness". No, this is about her and again, it produces only a partial image. It is a good start to say to an outsider that they don’t have the full picture of who he is (or can be) and therefore their understanding is skewed. However, the same goes for Liz and she refuses to accept that her POV is limited, too, and that she is complicit in it being so. DG is a prime example: she is handed a DNA test and everything that contradicts the result is pushed aside at once. The same happened when Tom told her he was a changed man: she ignored the contradictions, so she could have the illusion of stability. Red withholds information but it’s Liz who blatantly lies to herself about many things.

But back to the quote above: so only what Red does for her is weighed on the scale of goodness. Only that defines his moral character. It is decidedly untrue but again it's a manifestation of possessiveness and something Red partially conditioned in her in moments where e.g. he says saving her helps him live w/ himself (104) or where he implies that being with her allows him to become less of a monster (209). As a result, he is reduced to something less but something confined to her, something conveniently simplified that - depending on her need - is easier to either embrace or scapegoat. When he goes along with what she wants (whether it is actually good or not), he is a welcome, positive presence. When he refuses her (no matter how justified or necessary it is), he is deemed toxic and gets rejected. But after Tom inserts himself back into their lives and after the fake death betrayal, Red seems to have less and less willingness to silently confine himself to her whims and wishes, and they finally reach a breaking point in S5.

Fans on both sides of the "why does Red care so much about Liz" fence focus heavily on love as his primary drive, and label the nature of the R/L relationship accordingly: parental and romantic respectively. What else could explain such grandiose display of unconditional love other than being related or being in love? To quote Red, "perhaps there's a third option." There is and despite it being on full display (or maybe because of it since the show has conditioned us to assume a convoluted mystery everywhere) we often overlook its importance:

With Red, guilt is the operative word. This is the governing emotion right next to love (a more recent development) to which many of his grand gestures are anchored. The pervasiveness of guilt in Red's life is pointed out several times in the show, most notably in episodes 104, 216, and 319:

“The farmer, who is no longer a farmer sees the wreckage he's left in his wake. It is now he who burns. It is he who slaughters. And he knows, in his heart he must pay.”

“The truth of it is, once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop. For the first few years, it may work. You'll draw some measure of virtue from being her invisible benefactor. But that won't last. It's all a fraud. That it's really not about her at all. That it's all about you. And you're just going through the motions to salve your own guilt. All the money, all the time and effort, all the favors in the world cannot possibly equal what you took away from her. Everything else is just a nice gesture.”

“It was a Hobson's choice. There was a woman and her child. Both were doomed. Both would die. I could either save one or lose both. I chose the child. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life. Worst thing by far. I was arrogant. I presumed that there was an order to things, that there was... that if I nourished and protected and taught the child, she would be safe and happy. And she was neither. No matter what I tried to do, all I brought her was misery and violence.”

In each, the debilitating nature of guilt is given emphasis, the symptoms of which are exhibited by Red throughout the show. Chronic guilt can be an extremely powerful drive. As Red notes, "once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop". He genuinely believes he owes Liz an immeasurable debt and that nothing, not even wrecking or even giving his own life for her, could make up for it. If we look at his behavior from this perspective, the primary answer to why he is willing to go to such great lengths for her becomes obvious. He loves her, too, of course, but love is - as noted above - is a more recent, healthy development, and it still has to co-exist with deep-seated guilt that keeps it in a toxic choke hold. This combination is the main reason why he cannot deny Liz anything (see: Tom) and why he's so vulnerable to blame shifting. When someone believes they deserve to be used and punished by the one they also come to love more than anything, the danger of abuse skyrockets, too.

Guilt-driven gestures, no matter how grandiose, are ultimately selfish and fake, as Red observes. But after he finally meets her, love starts creeping into the picture, shifting their dynamic and imbuing it with something real and selfless. And Red starts pushing back a little now where Tom is concerned. This sprouting, deepening love, however, gets badly trampled on when the guilt-trips and betrayals come. Red endures them because guilt says "you deserve it", but it no longer has quite the same hold as it once did. Heartbreak is a somewhat sobering experience but until the still unknown source of his guilt is uncovered and addressed, his relationship with Liz, his love for her, cannot reach genuine fulfillment.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons.

Red and Liz want the same thing (as we have established above) but she is impulsive and wants it now whereas he is wary and plans long-term.

“I can’t tell you what I’m gonna want 10 years from now. Even a year from now. I just know what I want right now.”

Liz is no fan of delayed gratification. She has wants and she wants those satisfied "right now" even if it means she has to trade a more secure, more enduring yet still unavailable future (Red) for a readily available present of poorer quality (Tom). The former requires hard work (of the sweat, blood, and tears kind), honest self-evaluation, careful planning, and lots of patience. The latter is just easy and right there, so she cuts straight to the finish line, then it all promptly comes crashing down on her.

This is what happens after her exoneration in S3B. She goes to Red but instead of some quality personal time, he acts prickly and distant, then whips out a giant map to show her how just much hard work still needs to be done before Odysseus can even consider returning home. Her response? She rejects it (and him with it) and goes straight back to Tom. He promises to give her everything she wants right there and then at a discount. She only has to bury her head in the sand regarding a couple of things and since Liz is prone to self-delusion and denial by default, she jumps at the opportunity. This is where her relationship with Red begins to go off the rails.

“Circumstances are far more complex than we ever imagined. I’m betting on the long play. The future.”

Red plays the long game when it comes to the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t shy away from torturous self-examination and self-denial to secure enduring results and a better future for those he loves. Liz’s relationship with Tom was a sprint with many corner-cutting and the inevitable letdown. They had a short present, but no future. With Red, there is a future still but Liz has to run a marathon to reach it and being a sprinter, she struggles a lot.

But she is not the only one struggling. Red is still traumatized by the loss of his family, which makes him instinctively reluctant to try to settle down again. Those who inflicted that debilitating loss still represent an active force in the world (see: the map). The longing to settle down is certainly there. It’s a dream he shares with Liz. They practically wish upon it under the stars while “Our House” is playing, but on top of his guilt and grief, the circumstances seem to be forever against him, so he doesn’t dare actively push for it like she does (he even rejects Agnes at first). He redirects his focus to the “job” to try and create a safer environment and maybe a future opportunity. This folds back to the marathon approach that Liz rejects at first but now, after Tom's demise, she must face. She vows to destroy Red but I don't think it will be a literal destruction. Deep down they still want the same thing and even though they have yet to admit it openly, they want it with each other.

Their time spent on the run in S3/A is immersed in the theme of a shared home. Liz and Red seek refuge in a theater where the stage is set as a home. This is where Liz tells Red about her fantasy and this is where Red immediately retreats behind a wall when he realizes that Liz will be pulled back into Tom's orbit.

“I’m not interested in what you want. I’m interested in what you deeply desire. I can sense that death and vengeance aren’t what drive you, Elizabeth. Or feed your soul. [What does?] A lost world, I suspect. Another life. If you can’t face your truths, I can’t be of service.”

The Djinn makes a clear distinction between “what you want” and “what you deeply desire”. It is echoed in the tension-filled dream Liz has where Red removes Tom from the picture just when he is about to spill a secret (nice piece of foreshadowing btw), then stalks up to her bed and asks her the same thing - not just what she wants but what she really wants. This image of Red stepping up as a sexual-romantic partner after her husband’s demise is shoved deep down in her subconscious. It is one she is not yet ready to face, but it is there - the option of making a home with him, an option he, too, keeps at arm’s length due to past trauma and present circumstances, and it adds even more tension to their interplay.

This exact type of unresolved tension has already popped up on this show when Madeline Pratt re-entered Red's life w/ some grievances.

"Florence was everything, our way out, a fresh start. But to you, it’s all just a job."

She feels betrayed and played for a fool because Red chose to continue living his danger-magnet criminal life, prioritizing it over her and their intended home.

"They used Pratt as bait, faked the kidnapping in order to bring Red into the Kings’ custody."

Later on, counting on his savior complex, she lands him in hot water to get even. She stages her own kidnapping and lures Red into a trap set by an enemy with a score to settle. If it sounds familiar, that’s because we see something similar play out between Liz and Red. It’s low-key in the background during S3-4 (w/ the whole home theme) and gets kicked into high-gear in the S5 finale (when Liz thinks he played her for a fool so he can continue living his criminal life):

We were out. You said the ship we were on was headed to Spain. Change of plans. Because? Because after far too much time playing defense, today’s the day we switch to offense.

They could get away and start a new life but Red refuses to quit his "mission". As mentioned above, he tells Liz they still have a lot to do and her reaction is disappointment, and when Tom offers her everything Red is not yet able (to go away and start fresh), she accepts. And this is when their downward spiral begins in earnest and all the accumulated hurt peaks in S5, in Liz's very Madeline-esque plan to fake a kidnapping and lure Red to one of his enemies for some answers and score-settling (the same business the Kings were into w/ their illicit auctions):

If you’re gonna tell him you hurt me, he’s got to believe you. You knew Reddington would come for you. He got to do what he always does: try and save me.

Indeed. And he is about to confess his greatest secret to save her life when they get interrupted and an alternate solution presents itself. He kills Sutton, takes the bag and leaves. Liz vows to destroy him after this and I think she is right. Raymond Reddington needs to die for good this time. He needs to die so the man behind that mask can finally emerge. He needs to die so Liz can finally face and understand the full picture.

Red’s guilt feeds on the secrets he keeps and Liz continues to cling to her anger because these secrets are a wedge between them. The murky past and their distorted perception of it (Red's warped by guilt, Liz's scrambled by memory manipulation) hold them and their relationship hostage, so it must be disclosed and sorted for both their sakes. The second chance will not come until this happens. When it does, I think it will be the most cathartic moment in the history of this show.

This collision course is their way back home.