#I don't experience shifts or have a certain 'thing' I am or this or that or any other common experiences...

[myfairkatiecat]

okay so shannon giving us a keefe pov seems actually lowkey important and what i would do in the story rn but I'm not convinced she's going to use it to do the things I feel like we need her to do.

let me explain.

Shannon set Sophie up as a character who behaves certain ways. A lot of those ways are very good, and she's certainly a hero, but she also has character flaws that get worked through. For example, she can be a little reckless (personally I would have made all the same choices) (I know we think of Keefe as the reckless one but he's a different type of reckless) she can prioritize the wrong things, she can be disorganized, etc (all things that are super valid and understandable and make her relatable btw. I am a sophie foster defender)

and BECAUSE sophie is the protagonist, we see all of this develop. She has certain qualities that are a little stagnant sometimes, at least if you look from the outside, but there's actually a ton of development going on. She hears others' opinions on her actions, good and bad, and the reader sees how this impacts her and how she grows and changes, even if that change is nonlinear or in many ways she stays the same and just grows more mature.

Here's the thing about Keefe. he wandered out of side character territory and into second main character territory starting at the end of everblaze and peaking in legacy. And Shannon has been INTENTIONALLY writing him with consistent character flaws since the beginning, explainable by his past circumstances in fascinating ways. But we aren't there to see a lot of the falling out for that stuff.

A lot of people complain that keefe never faced consequences for stealing the caches or never had the black swan or adults yelling at him or mistrusting him or his friends avoiding him. And like... we do not know that. It could simply be that that was just not Sophie's problem at the time. Sophie also may have simply not been one of the people giving him a difficult time about it. In fact, we know she wasn't, but boy oh boy Fitz certainly didn't bounce back in less than five seconds. And we don't know what the Council and/or black swan did with him that sophie just wasn't involved in--and bc it didn't become relevant to the plot from sophie's perspective, sophie being the actual MC, it just seems unimportant.

Another thing is that Keefe has a lot of the same character flaws throughout the series, but they do shift somewhat with his experiences, and that's without us even seeing in his head, you know? So here's the thing.

Shannon went and started developing Keefe like a second protagonist (who is interestingly also an anti hero in some ways) and even if you aren't a person who thinks he's the most developed character on the paper (disagree but see where you're coming from) he's DEFINITELY most developed in shannon's brain, and that bleeds through. But then we ONLY see Sophie's perspective BECAUSE THIS IS SOPHIE'S STORY, and everything revolves around what is relevant to the plot from her perspective, and then keefe is just in the background being extremely important and relevant and having all these extra issues that we ONLY ever see from sophie's perspective.

Unlocked was... well, it was half a book, and only half of it was keefe. I actually do think his perspective was enlightening in some ways, but a full keefe book at this point kind of seems necessary to me. Because... he's taken on the role of another main character in this story, but we don't see any of that development happening, and for a lot of people i can see that getting taxing. Now I get that those same people also wish keefe would just. step back from the plot. and i get that! but I think with the way he's involved in the plot NOW, seeing his perspective is important, because sophie's POV (especially with her unreliable narration) doesn't give us enough of a window into the complexity that is keefe's worldview right now, especially with all the ways he keeps impacting things. it's just a really important perspective to have at this point.

Shannon, if unraveled is just keefe trying different human foods and giggling like a kotlc react on wattpad, I will probably enjoy it bc i love your work always, but i will also be shaking you by the shoulders because we need this book and you better spend it doing the things we need

[themagical1sa]

"i like you and i blame you for making me feel this way" he said

i still think about it

[wawhii]

Some rambling in the tags

[hellyeahsickaf]

When I say "I can't do that" what I'm not saying is:

I don't feel interested in doing that

I don't care enough to

I'm too good to be doing that

I don't think you deserve that of me

I'm not in the mood to do that

Not now, I'll do it later

Maybe

If that's what I meant, that's what I would say

What I am saying is:

It will negatively affect me in ways I can't afford

I simply can't physically fucking do that

I can't risk the potentially severe consequences I may experience if I overestimate my ability to do that

And if I explain that I am unable to do that, it is not an invitation to:

Tell me how much my disability hurts your feelings

Ask if I'm sure

Interrogate me because you believe yourself to be the judge of how unwell is unwell enough

Put words in my mouth ("why don't you care?")

Tell me how easy it would be

Remind me of how many other things I've been unable to do. I keep the score more than you do

Accuse me of exaggerating or faking to avoid doing it

Ask me again shortly

Make assumptions about additional explanations. (I must be mad at you, I must not care about this)

Offer compensation in return ("I can pay you" "we can do something you want to do after" "I'll get you something you like")

Ask what it would take for me to suddenly be capable of doing it

Tell me how you do things you have to do when when you're tired and then you can just rest and recover. I am not like you

Remind me of a time I was able to do that. Either I had more spoons or was less severely disabled if at all.

Say that if I was well enough to do X today, I should be able to do this as well. Energy doesn't work that way. Are you capable of running 8 miles right this minute just because you were okay to work a 10 hour shift today? That's what I thought

Suggest simply doing it a certain way ("take your time", "do it sitting down", "we can stop and take breaks", "just take your painkillers", etc)

But it is an invitation to:

Leave me the fuck alone about it 💕

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

Knowing Pen lied to him was truly Colin's nightmare come true in many ways, because of his past experience, but it's deeper because he actually truly loves Pen and she wouldn't lie to him because she's Pen, and Pen is special, but the the more you watch, the heartbreak shapes more clearly. Colin's expressions and his questions, the many times he's asked Penelope if she's sure of her feelings, if she regrets getting engaged, if she doesn't return his feelings for now...everytime Colin notices she has something to tell him, that he can feel it, he's expecting her to say she doesn't love him, that he indeed is not enough on his own, not worthy. When she's 'sick' and he wants to be near her..."perhaps she's trying to keep me at distance and is regretting", he's so unsure. Her confession at the church, that follows him once again asking her, telling "if you'll still have me?" and clearly bracing himself for some type of rejection, gives him a bit of peace, he starts to believe and is so giddy. At the Mondrichs ball, he's so happy when she tells him he's worthy. It breaks my heart for what's to come. His world came crashing down, because if she lied about that, if she - even if deep down he knows it's true, and that's why it hurts more, because she sees him negatively, she knows his mask and what's hiding - said those things about him in her Column, then she likely doesn't love him, not really, not in the way he loves her. It's hammering in his head: "Why would she love me?, and then, everything that happens make it worse, because - to him - he doesn't seem to be able to show to her his value, to prove to her he deserves love, because she seems to not need him, he's unable to help her in an effective manner and he feels like a failure as her husband, unsure of himself and mistrustful of her loving him. That's why Pen's words to him at Francesca's wedding makes me so emotional. I am in love with her words, how she tells him her needs and how his love is important to her on its own, and how can he show her that love the best/the best way to show it, what she doesn't need, what he doesn't need to do, that he actually excels at loving her when he simply loves her. It's in his special smiles to her, in their little jokes together, it's in the way he made love to her, in the way he gazes at her, how he makes her feel beautiful, in the way he dances with her, how happy it makes them to be together, how they can be silly together, how he kisses and holds her. It's curious because Penelope doesn't seem to doubt his love is there anymore, their dynamic here has shifted ( until ep5, she was also very insecure) , despite their issues, have you notice that? She just wants him to allow himself to show, she wants him to want to love her, she knows it's there, she wants him to act on his love and show her, in the many ways he's so perfect in showing her, so that she can show him back and make him feel loved too. Her offering the annulment was about protecting him and his family and a way to tell him: You don't have to keep on loving me, to be by my side, if i don't make you happy with my love, if you don't want to, if you are scared, in pain. But of course he wants to. He'll always want to and seeing her being so brave, makes him brave too, brave to let himself believe, to accept and let his heart melt away the protections he built with his hurt, makes him understand, deep inside of him, she loves him, that brilliant woman loves him and her light, as he said, will never hurt him, it was never meant to hurt him, instead it will always brighten up his path. She exposed herself out of love, for herself, for him, for his family and he exposed all his feelings right back to her, his insecurities and his love, he finally felt with certain how much he is loved, and it's every bit as much as he loves her. And he knows how vast that is.

[pinkchrissysposts]

🪷Tips for Lucid Dreaming🪷

Lucid dreaming is one of my favorite method for entering void and shifting. And I would really recommend this method for those who are struggling to enter void.

Before y'all think "how?,I can't do it,it's gonna take a long time" Let me just remind you it's very VERY easy,especially if you use placebo effect,like for me it especially help alot with getting lucid dreams during my journey and altering ego.

I'm gonna share some tips with you that had helped me in the past to get lucid. I used to have a diary entry to write down my progress or write down my whole experience so after going through my progress I am gonna share some tips which can help you achieve a LD.

☆. Placebo effect

It's one of my favourite method to lucid dream or even manifesting,here is an amazing guide by @weirdbraincustard. You can hold an assumption that everytime you study you lucid dream,or every time you help your mom you get lucid dream or you control it. I saw a reddit post where they talk about how everytime they eat banana before bed give them lucid,and many in the comments were telling about the food that help them get lucid.

☆. Altering ego

Another method that I personally love and it helped me realize how powerful I am here another guide to alter ego and my personal experience . So,if you think altering ego is difficult then use PLACEBO to alter that ego it's the same thing.

☆. Dream Journal

Okurr guys keeping a dream journal is also important,y'all probably heard it alot of times. But try to keep some reminder take a piece of paper and write down certain things that shouldn't be normal while you're dreaming example: A car flying in the sky,a house can't melt,etc. Everytime you remember your dream make sure to write down that one weird thing you experienced or saw,write the weirdest part you remember.

☆. Set intention.

It's the easiest way guys,believe me,trust ME🫠. Especially in drowsy state like everynight before going to sleep. Or waking up set a new intention,set intention like "if I see something weird then I'll do a reality check" or try bitting your hand or any other reality check.

My favorite is placebo and alter-ego,it's just make me feel stress free and less worried. What I used to do is,if I had a hard time altering my ego,then I would choose a certain activity that I wanted to improve example: drawing but I'm lazy,my assumption use to be "if I draw 2-3 times a day,then I'll lucid dream BECAUSE I AM VENUS",I don't so those activity as Christina I do those activities as Venus who lucid dream if she draw 2-3 times a day. I hope y'all get what I mean🫠.

Also as you get in drowsy state as you fall asleep,keep reminding yourself to do a reality check,or do reality check if you see something really unbelievable.

[ixzotica]

NOT-SO-SMALL RANT ABOUT THE SHIFTING COMMUNITY this has been pissing me off for some time now so i'm going to yap about it and if you don't agree w/ me, feel free to block me! also please note that this is just a general rant and isn't targeted at any specific individual(s) because i've been seeing this on here and in other shifting communities.

this is going to be the laaaast time i talk about this because i don't want to be know for complaining all the time anymore LMAOAO! anyways allow me to start by saying this. if what someone's doing in regards to shifting isn't harmful, bigoted, racially insensitive, or truly problematic and it doesn't affect you, stop being an annoying piece of shit and judging people for what they do with the realities they shift to ESPECIALLY if you can't handle/don't like it being done to you. you do not get to judge and dictate what people do in their lives, who they shift for, why they shift, what wording they use in terms of shifting, nothing.

YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THE HARMLESS SHIT SOMEONE ELSE DOES IN THEIR LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

and yes i get that there's certain stuff that's just based off of morality and culture and history, i'm not talking about that because i too am personally very sensitive about that stuff for reasons of my own. i'm talking about some of you who judge shifters for wanting to shift to have consensual sex with legal adults as a legal adult in that reality. or some of you who judge people for having multiple partners because you just can't seem to wrap your head around it or simply choose to be ignorant. or some of you who even judge people because they script that they get attention and that they're smart and pretty. because think about it.

what does any of that have to do with you?

you act like YOU'RE gonna be the one living their life when you're not. many of you judge people for shit and you don't even know how they perceive it yet you're too close-minded to even think outside of your own head and consider their thought process. many of you seem to forget that you are shaming someone's entire lives for miniscule shit. like these are their LIVES. and not to mention, many of you claim that "don't mean to judge" but just because you say that you're not judging doesn't mean that you're not being judgmental. the shit you say can still be offensive or demotivating or just straight up bigoted/prejudice to the people you're talking about when you could've just kept it to yourself.

imagine if a straight person came online and said that they didn't like when queer people spoke about their queer experiences/partners/whatever because it made them uncomfortable and they couldn't relate but "they aren't judging, they just don't agree with it?" you see how fucked that sounds? well you probably don't because you're doing the exact same thing just in a different community about different shit, all of which ain't got nothing to do with you.

how would you feel if someone on this app started bashing you for who you shift for and saying that shifting for this person was so stupid and going into detail about how fucking lame you are? you wouldn't like it right? because that's your partner and you love them, right? so why the fuck do you think you can do that to other people? seriously, it's starting to get very fucking ridiculous.

please just think before you start judging people for harmless shit because they might turn around and do the same shit to you or call you out for not minding your own business and now you're all offended and getting flamed for being an asshole. and if you truly just need to talk shit about someone's life, maybe get some friends who share your values and talk privately instead of putting everything on the internet. now go shift! <3

SINCERELY, A Serial Yapper with A Lot To Say

[klxudykai]

the ugly part of reality shifting

as great as shifting is, its really fucking draining. like REALLY draining. its nice that people want to show the fun and positive side of shifting and all, but once new shifters (specifically) hit the stage where they're drained and extremely demotivated, they aren't going to know how to deal with these new overwhelming emotions. reality shifting takes a toll on our mental health even if we don't like to admit it. this may not apply to everything, but I know it applies to the majority.

ive been shifting since 2021 (if you saw my post Abt me starting shifting in 2019 that was wrong lmfao mb yall-). and I still haven't shifted. I used to think I'd shift within 4 years but surprise surprise. I haven't. I'm drained and demotivated. I don't completely believe I wont ever shift, but I don't think I can get what I want by manifesting or affirming or doing any of that. I think the universe will just randomly hand it to me. it sounds dumb but that's the weird luck I have. when I don't expect it, I get what I want. but when I try hard and I expect it, nothing happens or I get smth worse. i don't think that even when I put blood,sweat, and tears into this that I'll shift. I've discovered so much shit about myself yet I am still here with no experience of what its like in another reality let alone my dr. never saw my dr once. only in my dreams and my imagination.

im going to be completely honest when I say that shifting is not for the weak. I'm not saying this to get you to quit because shifting is one of the best things that I found. I just want you to know that its not always going to be perfect. you might feel desperate, you might feel homesick, you might feel exhausted mentally. and sometimes you'll make progress but then find another obstacle. quite frankly, fuck the obstacles because that's not the issue. its how you deal with them that really determine how your growth goes. and no I'm not saying it controls if you'll shift or not because it doesn't. but if you're a person that gives up easily, its going to be hard to overcome those blockages. I say that because I myself give up easily. which is ironic because I don't give up when it comes to certain goals I want to accomplish (one of those goals being shifting), but I refuse to get rid of those so called "blockages" and avoid them even though I know what's the problem. I avoid them because I don't know how to fix them and I just have this fear that's telling me I'll fail.

this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because I'm writing this in the heat of the moment so I'm not doing a lot of thinking, I'm just typing. what I'm saying is don't be that person that avoids the problems. be transparent with yourself because I'm telling you, the more you avoid it, the more drained youre going to become. it might turn into an endless loop where you think about your Dr daily but you have zero energy to shift. and it fucking sucks.

overall, please take breaks whether they're mental or shifting breaks, if you feel like there is an issue with yourself, fix it. this is a hard journey but it will be a lot easier once you're honest and overcome problems that need to be solved.

(disclaimer that this may not apply to everyone, just the people who are going through a rough patch in their journey. this is mainly just my perspective and what I've heard from a friend of mine since our issues seemed pretty similar. and if anyone needs someone to talk to, my DMS are open. I want my blog to be a safe space and that this is a place where not everything is perfect. I love y'all and please take care and don't stress yourselves <33)

also, fuck that toxic positivity shit that just makes mfs more drained. if you feel demotivated address it don't push it away

[shiftingconfessions]

I will be pulling a wild one here

I am shifter before shiftok and shifting tumbler and so on, I was part of the firsts shifting plataforms to ever exist, the work of my friends and colleagues are diluted and changed in many methods the community still using today, or use and not yet know about it.

Shiftok is a lie. It is straight up a lie, more than half of accounts in there are lying, take the big 10 accounts all around the globe and you will see how deeply unsettling and ego blinded these ppl are.

I will share a lil secret to shifting on tumbler, most influencers KNOW that they are talking shit nowadays. The so proclaimed creators of shittok vanglorizes themselves for creating it, but deep down one was a absolute baby shifter and the other one knew her stuff but was caught in drama.

They both are part of the first shifting community ever, started on 2017, they were warned to use their voice to spread information but they decided to blind themselves and continue their fights and dramas.

Besides that, the modern Mainstream Shiftok is around money. TikTok monetizes creators and for these creators to have a base, they need people to watch their videos

Information is freedom, and there is no way to get the proper amount of needed information on shiftok, it is a short video app, we are discussing a experimental practice on reality switching.

Besides that, people now want to make you pay for shifting info, or manifestions courses, and so on

Let me tell a thing that sadly will make sense in the future: Shifting is free, shifting has always been free and those people do not have authority on the matter to even teach it

While the community has been improving, there is a lack on the shifter vanguard, on ACTUAL new stuff and an actual understanding behind shifting. Some people shift by oversimplifying things, others by hard looking into why's and hows, both are valid but they need to correspond to each other. If a community is too complex shifting becomes too hard, if a community is too simple shifting becomes a myth.

That is the state of the community, anyones out there who wants to understand why's and how's can't even find good bases since everything is gatekept and even the so called shifters from shiftok can't even understand it or desire to share it.

Therefore creating a community that is constantly a lie, people tell experiences that don't match when being re-telled and either make sense, many have been spotted doing so. Shifting changes someone, it is a trace marked on their minds forever, to fully shift is to be forever changed. Most people are either LDs or having false awakenings and calling it a day.

Besides all that people are fighting for stupid ideas. Being taboo, race changing was never a topic in our community before it began on shiftok. You know why? Because everyone knew that infinity selfs does not mean that you are equally in all realities, we all playing roles, if I am certain race in my Dr that is not the one I am in this reality, then I won't act like I am part of the minority in this reality.

As for the hypocrisies of these people, most accounts that moved this debate was being xenophobic on Portuguese and Spanish communities.

As an extra information, If you know Sunni Method, you should know that sunni was one of the first shifters (on our understanding of DR, WR and scripting) that created and sourced so many different shifting practices and helped the first gen of the community to understand the practice. She did not only proved shifting to the subliminal communities as well define a work that would be still being used today, the Sunni method is the basic for every method. And she is afro American, and for today terms, she would be changing her race depending on the reality.

For the people that keep making futile problematization on this topic, it shows that you never fully understood shifting and created fake scenarios on your mind to source a point that was never a actual point. Minorities need support on day to day life, not whatever people are believing on determined practice.

tw: mention on self harm

As for respawning, anti-respawing are a bunch of ungrateful. Respawning made the very much bases of modern shifting. And for the respawners that belief that it should end on self harm, you do not understand how respawning work and how delicate are the structured you about to mess. If you are suffering from any mental difficulties, search professional help and not spiritual help that often leads to bad escapism.

Going back

The individual journey of someone starts on the seed planted by the community they find shifting, the hard truth is that shifting isn't only a personal experience but a collective one. In another words the community state you get, is the seed of your journey. Before 2018 people had a hard time shifting because they could not understand what it was, a few years later the community achieved a gold state with sharing knowledge and methods (which the English community would constantly gatekeek to their siblings communities btw) and after the mainstreaming on TikTok shifting went down to a stone age.

People are debating either if they can or cannot do things. In shifting. The. Belief. Of. Infinity.

I can understand why baby shifters do these questions, but I see people on this community since 2020 and the ones from 2019 who end up on the wasteland of other social platforms, asking questions that are so OBVIOUS

You don't need to know everything, but for star sakes you NEED to understand the basics of the thing you are doing, what a script is and how to write one, a few methods and your own cosmological view settled down.

Shifting allows you to mix and match beliefs like a Lego set, do it for your personal journeys using what other have found in the past.

While people are degrating the community and locking good stuff a way, shifting gets every day harder and harder, becoming everytime a godfied event and a hard and thought task that only a few can achieve, that is the mindset that is being grown on the community.

Why the hell the overall community nowadays have less and less actual experiences that the community a few years ago?

For the future, I am not sure but I bet on the end of the practice in a few years, when outsiders "grow out of it". Some will shift, others will just move on with their spiritual journey and so on, the community slowly fading.

I am not here to bring a salvation message, I am so tired, I have been making so much for the last 5 years, trying so hard to archive, share and teach people about shifting, in a way that was forgotten and locked down.

I am permashifting soon, and I am posting what I know on the community where I learned shifting in my native language, this end up more in a vent and a warning to what is happening. Do not believe me if you do not want to.

As for the people that want to understand more, I really recommend for you to dig in the past, a hint is that shifting started on amino. ik it is a bad app but sometimes gems appears. Shifting predecessors (quantum immortality and dimensional jumping) are available on Reddit to be studied (see the archives version of D.J) but they don't fully translate to shifting. (do not use the reality shifting subreddit)

And leave the damned app that is TikTok, you may be laughing for 3 seconds with some random girl talking about draco, but would be way better to be in your dr. why would you let your mind rot?

Shifting is a spiritual practice sourced on scientific facts and theories, both may be fighting a lot but a thing that they have in common is digging stuff, dig and search like never before, the community and it's beliefs are open on the internet, sometimes all you need is to answer a few questions and you will be able to find a good plataform

Your journey will be good no matter what.

Happy shifting.

.

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[infiniteko]

You are the only person so far who seems to know what you’re talking and is well studied so I decided to sent this ask for you. It will have a little venting, but nothing too extreme or long also if you don’t mind I’d rather speak in a not non duality way because I wouldn’t know how to formulate my sentences without giving power to the physical world in a sense, and I’m not exactly looking for enlightenment in non dualism it’s just a question about this whole thing that has been going on on tumblr and other communities about manifestation and non dualism.

I’ve been on this journey of manifestation, law of assumption, non duality etc etc for a year now and the main thing that kept popping up in my head was “is this concept true?”

The concept that I’m talking about is: “we are the creators of our reality”

Honestly, this journey has brought me a lot of suffer because I’m a natural overthinker, skeptical, a tad pessimistic and extremely self judging. So I would often feel dumb and stupid for believing I could actually change my WHOLE life and manifest things that would be seem as actually absurd and impossible.

This experience of seeing so many times people saying “we are limitless” or “everything is malleable” “you can get anything you want” has dragged me into this rabbit whole of full peace of mind and hope and then being totally ripped apart by negativity, pessimism and skepticism.

I’m honestly tired and I really, really, really need to get out of it, so you are my hope of weather I should continue my journey to get a better life or finally have a closure on this whole world of manifestation, shifting realities etc

Is it really possible? I’m asking this with my whole heart and soul. It is possible to experience this reality shiftings, changes of physical appearance, revise past and all that?

I really need to put an end on my suffering and move on with my life and I rather know the final answer now instead of wasting my life on things that won’t happen and just end up more frustrated in the future.

Can we change our 3D world (I know you said there’s no separation, but as I said I can’t speak in a non duality way I’m sorry) or we just have to accept we can only control to a certain point?

Is it true that if I’m not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won’t? That no matter how hard I try I could never “attract” a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?

I’m sorry if this ask is heavy or if my words were harsh somehow. I don’t want to put a responsibility on your shoulder, I just really need to find peace and I need a final answer.

Thank you!

Here's the thing Anon: No one can help you but yourself. As harsh as it sounds, IT is what IT is, i'm not sugarcoating anything, it's a bit long and wordy so read carefully.👁️📿

In tibet we have these sayings:

1. ཝ་གསུང་ཞོད་དུ་གཅིག་སྤྱོད་དུ། "You can offer a handful of grass to the cow, but you can't force it to graze."

2. མཐུད་སུམ་བསྡུས་ཀྱི་སེང་གེ་མ་དམ་ཅོ། "You can present the scriptures, but you can't enlighten the mind."

Even though i tag my stuff with "#nondualism" and a lot of people associate me with it, i don't follow any concept in particular. I only point you into the direction of "THAT". What you do with it, is your choice. You said you've been on a "journey" with lots of concepts like LoA, Manifestation, ND. Ask yourself, what exactly has been keeping you from actually turning within into silence instead of gathering one concept after another? Who decides that something is "impossible" and "absurd" like you said? I know you already told me that you'll talk in concepts but i still have to ask, are the limitations you have set for yourself REALLY fundamentally a thing? Do they exist if you aren't aware of such limitations?

Emptiness

NO concept is true, untrue or real. No words are true, untrue or real. I could tell you "no, Non Dualism or "AWARENESS" is not true. You can't change your life" but that's going to have a negative impact on you, wouldn't it? Why is that so? Those words don't prove anything to you. They are just words.

EVERY word is empty by nature, we give meaning to them. If i told you "བདག དངབ བསམ ངས་ཡང་ཡིན་གསལ" could you do anything with that sentence? No, because that sentence has no meaning to you.. you don't speak the language. Whatever I said, is meaningless to you. But if I translated it in english, you would be able to understand because you speak english and give it meaning (-> what was once meaningless and empty, now has an illusory meaning given by you). Got it?

What I'm trying to say is that it is important to understand that words have no meaning whatsoever BY NATURE and because they are meaningless BY NATURE, we can tell you whatever we want to, it is up to you alone what you're going to do with that. Does that make any sense to you? I hope i got my point across on how we give meanings to every empty word.

We do the same thing with different situations.

A stormy day can be the worst day ever for you but for someone else, it's the best thing ever.

If someone told me my content is trash, i do not care. If someone told 18 year old Koda her content is trash, i would've wasted a thought or two on that statement. If Dechen (my boyfriend, co-admin) read that we're spreading lies he would've written an essay telling that person to shut up & move along 2 years ago, but now he'd ignore it because he couldn't care any less. Now, everything is meaningless for everyone. I can decide if I want to be affected by those words, or not. If i told you "Everything's a lie" , what are you going to do then? Are you going to abandon everything just because I, someone you find "reliable", said so? If that's what you would do, why? What made you attach so much importance to a random "person"?

Is it true?

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

Who are you asking? Me? Why? Do you want it to be true or untrue? Since all words are meaningless and empty by nature, is there a difference between the words "true and untrue" or is it the same "Emptiness"? You alone make your decisions. I can point you towards "IT" but 'you' are the one who's going to recognize "IT" or not. I have nothing to do with that descision.

Read whatever you want to. Practise whatever you want to or don't. At the end of the day, you alone give meaning to the meaningless. You can define emptiness but that doesn't change its Nature which is "emptiness", "nothingness" whatever-ness.

Definitions

"I'm an overthinker, skeptical and pessimistic."

What made you come to that conclusion? In order to answer that, i assume you have to think and list all moments in which you were overthinking, skeptical and pessimistic but are you able to answer that question without thinking? If you aren't thinking, WHAT or WHO are you? Are those thoughts you define yourself by, real in any way or are you just aware of different behaviors and define them as "overthinking, skepticism, pessimism" after thinking about it? Could you define yourself for me, without thinking? Try it.👀

Enlightenment?

You said you are not "looking for enlightenment" from ND , what exactly are you looking for then? Only a "person" can get enlightened, but there is no actual "person" here. What is, is. All concepts only POINT you to one direction -> "IT". Some, like advaita vedanta, are more direct than many limited & watered down versions of ND people now call "Law of Consciousness or Law of Assumption "with extra steps" on tumblr or twitter. In my humble and illusory opinion, it is nonsense but does it matter?👁️

The non-existent "I"

"Is it true that if I'm not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won't? That no matter how hard I try I could never "attract" a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?" -> define and show me the "i" you keep talking about. Do it without thinking. If you ponder on it long enough on a deep level, you will instantly answer your own Questions and the "i" you are talking about. Define and show me your doubts without thinking. There is no person to believe in anything, no person that is actually doubting, no person that is actually here.

「You can mold clay into a pot but that doesn't change the fact that it is clay and will always be clay」

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

𝒜𝒩𝒮𝒲𝐸𝑅𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯𝐼𝒪𝒩𝒮

— ​𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 | @tubadorashifts

(( these questions are amazing! i have so so much i want to say about my life at hogwarts that i get overwhelmed aaaa so this is PERFECT! this is also my longest post yet, so buckle in yall i'm about to overshare on the internet ‼️))

1. If you’re DR is set in the 90s/70s - How different is it to modern day? What are some changes you like and what changes did it take a while for you to get used to?

this question might be difficult to answer, as in my DR I am fully involved in the wizarding world and I don't really have that much contact with the muggle world, but definitely the technology! that might seem like a no-brainer and something to be expected when shifting to Hogwarts, but I wasn't expecting how different it would be. the hardest thing for me to adapt to was not being able to pull out my phone to take a picture whenever I wanted to. there were so so many little moments when I was at the Burrow where I would have the most perfect photo idea and I would realize I don't have my phone and realize I left my old film camera in my room. getting used to carrying that thing around and learning more about it (as my dad (arthur) brought it home for me one day and we fixed it up in the workshop!) is such a hassle sometimes. AND I HAVE TO DEVELOP FILM... which is rewarding in the end but sometimes I miss the instant gratification of a smartphone!

a change I do like is the style of music, both wizarding and muggle. I feel like the popular wizarding bands definitely reflect the 90s atmosphere in music, with many different new songs that have changing sounds in alternative rock and sometimes even annoyingly catchy pop songs. many other wizarding bands have themes that go all of the way back to classic jazz, so the range is INSANE. the music is truly so immersive, as the wizarding community is generally in favor of playing all types of music (at parties etc) both wizarding and muggle. truly an education!

2. If you’re part Veela/Metamophmagus/Mermaid/siren/werewolf etc. what is it like?

being a siren is still a change I am getting used to in my new DR, but it is absolutely something out of my biggest fantasies. as a girl who loves the sea and all her mythology, actually being a part of the sirens and learning about all of their folklore is a sacred experience I hold so dear to my heart. the life I have lived as a siren (even though my actual shift was quite short) feels so innate and like something I won't ever forget.

with being a blood-related siren comes many many things I didn't fully expect. there is a siren language (which I can speak in that reality), rituals and ceremonies that I noticed, and certain abilities that are passed on through family. there is also the wizarding public, who looks to sirens with curiosity because they are so closely related to merpeople and veela, yet they have such a distinct culture of their own. because there are so little sirens that engage with the wizarding world, I am kind of known as "that siren girl" and sometimes people say it negatively, but it is usually people who take the merfolk classification of "beast" very seriously and they are a bunch of idiots CONTINUE

3. Where do you change into your robes on the Hogwarts Express?

the Hogwarts express is completely different (length wise) on the inside than on the outside. when I first got onto the train, I was completely blown away when the twins and I walked into a long compartment that looked almost like a diner. they were serving pear & apple cider and I thought it was so cool that they had a bunch of different train areas. I walked around with Ginny during our train ride, and we found a bunch of these changing rooms / bathrooms and I remembered changing there in previous years so that is where we went!

inside of these bathrooms, it definitely has an expansion charm because it feels small while also having a lot of space for many students?? kind of like how the train expands or shrinks to fit the amount of compartments needed? also, these rooms are definitely hot spots for seeing other students bc tell me why I saw half of my year while I was in there for maybe 20 minutes??

4. If you’re an exchange student - How does the sorting ceremony work? Do you get sorted with the first years regardless of what year you’re in or do you get privately sorted somewhere else, like Dumbledore’s office?

this has only happened twice that I remember, and both times the students were sorted before the first years and Dumbledore gave kind of a mini introduction to their year and where they came from. personally, I would've been so scared to be individually introduced like that, especially in a new school with people I've never seen before. But Hogwarts is just kind of crazy like that, and the random outings by staff in front of the entire Great Hall never get boring I SWEAR!

5. Is Hogwarts a lot different to how you imagined? Is it like the movies or was there any changes?

I'd like to say the hours I've spent touring the castle on games like Hogwarts Legacy would prepare me for it, but I was still absolutely blown away (and I don't say that lightly)! the biggest thing for me was the sheer height of the castle! it is kind of a thing among newer Hogwarts students to not look up at the towers from the ground, as some people get this kind of reverse-vertigo? other than that, it definitely has the same vibe as the movies, except things feel waaay more spread out in my DR. I swear, in the movies Harry and Ron are getting to class in ten minutes, and I can barely get to my next class with my 30 minute passing time IT IS SO STRESSFUL. especially when I go from Care of Magical Creatures all the way to Advanced Herbology on tuesday mornings LIKE I AM RUNNING they are on opposite sides of the castle. I get the same feeling when I walk into the Grand Staircase and see all of the steps. I'm definitely debating adding a floo-network for easier transportation, but it is quite fun to feel like i'm getting a workout while exploring my favorite place ever!!

6. What are some classes you weren’t expecting to like as much as you did?

def divination! everybody kind of hates on divination for being a class that people only take when they have a free hour and nobody really takes it seriously, but I love the atmosphere so much and it feels like the kindest part of the castle when I am in my Advanced Div. 1 class. because I am in the advanced class (which prepares for OWLs), everyone there genuinely wants to be there and I am obsessed with the teacher student ratio of that class. there are probably less than ten students taking advanced divination and we all know each other so well and so far it has ended with us practicing techniques on each other or just filling in professor Trelawny on what is happening throughout the castle. sometimes in a class that small it just ends up being a bunch of divination nerds gathered around a table with the professor reading tarot or something ! it is my little safe haven in a castle so obsessed with intense schedules and such

6. And the opposite - What are some classes that you didn’t end up liking?

in my uni-structured Hogwarts, you can stop taking certain basics classes after your third year, so DADA was OUT. i never really liked that class because I remember always thinking that the environment was super energetic and one of my friends (??) El was kind of my academic rival in that class and that mf never left me alone. i am definitely built for more personalized classes and that is okay! Hogwarts has something for everyone once you pass the basics! also, FUCK HOME STUDY CLASS. i signed up for that class because it was supposed to be a general home economics class that teaches basic spells for around the house (like cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc) but the professor is an absolute NIGHTMARE and she reminds me of rita skeeter somehow?? also, Fred and George took that class as a joke (seriously, nobody has any idea why they took it), and now it is just constant bickering between professor and students. every time I've stepped into that classroom this week, I've wondered, "how are the boys going to harass professor reen today??"

7. Is it strange to be in Hogwarts if you grew up watching the movies? Id imagine it to be a bit surreal

it is so unbelievably surreal. my first night at hogwarts, I hardly got any sleep because I was so overwhelmed with excitement (and I say that so sincerely). all I wanted to do was run around the castle at night and talk to my roommates for hours and I couldn't wait for breakfast because everything felt so amazing. I have been shifting for a couple of years, but Hogwarts was always the place I had been waiting to go to and I wanted it to be special and when I finally was there and I was running my hand on the castle stone behind my bed it all hit me. my entire childhood felt complete. I wasn't worried about anything anymore, and I couldn't believe that I finally made it to the place i'd considered as "home" almost my whole life. in addition, hogwarts no longer felt like something I had only seen on a screen. when I shifted back a day ago, I went on pinterest and saw some photos of the dorms and the great hall and it felt so strange? kind of like if you saw a photo online of a place you've been to in your daily life, and you knew the way around even if the photo didn't show every detail? there was a new awareness of having lived in these places, and I had memories attached to simple things like a photo of the Great Hall from the movies!

8. Have you made any friends in school that aren’t mentioned in the books or movies? Talk a bit about them

if you've seen any of my previous posts, I talk about my little group of friends that live in Ottery St. Catchpole (and some of them don't exist in canon)! one of my closest friends is a girl named June Smithey, and she is a slytherin in my year. we both take advanced div. together and she is so sweet!! her twin brother is El, but he doesn't seem to like me very much and is always competing with me for NO REASON. he always has to hang around us though bc he is Cedric's best friend and sometimes Ced and I are attached at the hip. another best friend of mine is a girl named Vanessa Nacky, and she is a sixth year prefect. everyone calls her Nessa, and she is such a mum figure to all of the younger students and she is so liked by everyone in every house! she is dating Oliver Wood and they are so insanely good for each other I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER COUPLE TRUST ME

9. How long does the Hogwarts express take? If it takes very long - apart from talking to friends, what things do students usually do to occupy their time on the train? Are there different types of games in the wizarding world or popular magazines among witches/wizards?

the Hogwarts express usually takes 7-8 hours! apart from talking, some of my friends and I read the old issues of the Hogwarts newspaper (called the Hogwarts Legacy) and we speculated about what the next year would entail. there is also the diner-areas where they serve small lunch-like snacks (unlike constant candy from the trolley) and different drinks! also, in the movies they made it seem like students could only stay in their compartment the whole time, but that is not how it was like during my journey. people constantly got up to go visit with other friends and see each other after summer, so talking never really got boring! people also compare collected cards (which is a big thing in the wizarding world) and there is even a couple of chess tables in one of the train cars. other than that, reading and sleeping are very popular, as the first day of term is always a very late night and sometimes people just need a little quiet time!

10. What is it like sharing a dorm? Who are you sharing a dorm with and do you like your dorm mates?

thankfully, I went into my DR already being best friends with my dormmates, so each night really felt like an organized sleepover! we each have our own little alcoves where we can keep our stuff and our beds, so I never really felt overwhelmed being in a busy dorm. I share a dorm with Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Iris Fawcett, and Fay Dunbar! I am thankful that most of these lovely girls are on the quidditch team with me, so we really are very close and we spend many nights talking from our beds when we should be asleep :') the whole situation did turn out very well for me, though, as some people in Hogwarts do not like their dormmates very much and are stuck wishing they can become a prefect to get their own dorm. (cough, percy and oliver wood)

11. What is quidditch like? Do you like it or have you decided it’s not for you?

I am OBSESSED with quidditch. in my desired reality, the quidditch season hasn't started yet, but I scripted that I was going to become seeker and I am so unbelievable excited! back at the burrow, we played many small games in the back field, and even though I scripted I would be great at the sport, I genuinely enjoy trying to learn new tricks and improve my ability in other positions (i will never be a good beater I swear 😔). quidditch is such a ceremonial experience for students at Hogwarts.. and there is really no escaping it!! I grew up fascinated by the whole strange concept and rules in this reality, and even if you think the whole idea is stupid the crazy crowd will definitely make up for it bc we all band together for quidditch!!

also, if you choose to get involved in the different leagues and tournaments, there is truly so much content and magazines that are released weekly YOULL NEVER GET BORED! quidditch is such a culture in the wizarding world, and it is comparable to muggle sports leagues and all of the devoted fans that sit down weekly to watch. at the burrow, when the league games are broadcasted on the WWN, we crowd around the radio in the kitchen and sometimes even have dinner while the game is playing if it goes late! and don't even get me started on the WORLD league...

12. Is there anything in the wizarding world that surprised you?

the amount of errands the average wizarding family goes on! to the average movie watcher, it feels like during the summer the students all go home and then the only places the parents go are the Ministry. this was far from the truth for me! at the burrow, mum (Molly) would let me take the floo-network to Diagon Alley whenever I needed to get my film developed, and sometimes she would let some of us go in groups to get supplies / materials for crafts we are doing etc! also, there is another common wizarding market in Birnam that many people go to for fresh produce and lots of cooking things. Molly goes pretty frequently, and when I went once over the summer, I saw people from school there and it is kind of a small hangout spot for wizarding families. another common place to go is Prelly's, which is in the heart of diagon alley and everyone AND THEIR MOTHER has been to Prelly's. it is comparable to a grocery store, except everything is marketed magically and it is so chaotic in there all of the time. that store is so cherished in the wizarding world, I don't think i've ever been to a magical household that doesn't have something from Prelly's. I was so surprised to learn that even wizards had places to shop for groceries 😭

13. What is your favourite place to spend time in Hogwarts/Hogsmeade? Do you have a secret place where you and your friends hang out?

I haven't gotten to explore Hogsmeade that much yet, but inside of Hogwarts there is a small inter-house common room that is called the Selkie Commons. it is located near the main Viaduct and it overlooks the lake through big windows in the stone. it gets its name from the series of stained glass dividers that show pictures of yellow selkies as you enter the room! this place isn't very secret, though, as many people come here to study and sometimes it can even get kind of loud late after dinner. however, this place is technically considered a Study Hall, so it closes at 10:30 and we are limited to hanging out inside of our common rooms :,)

other than that... the art wing. there are certain classes offered for magical art, and a lot of my friends also dabble in those classes because they are such a nice break and the evironment is truly amazing! there is a main studio space, so sometimes we sit in there after school hours, but there is also a little gallery hall that is filled with art books and student works over the years, and sometimes it is fun to sit in there and talk with the portraits and experience the art that students have made years before me. nobody really goes in this specific gallery hall, so we can usually hang out in there late at night until it closes!

15. What are some things in your DR that you couldn’t live without?

my "endless quill"! when we went to diagon alley to shop for school supplies, I used a good portion of my personal money to buy that quill, as it was a newer model that was becoming more popular among students. I didn't know how useful it would be until I actually started using it day-to-day in class! at hogwarts, we are allowed to use pencils and sometimes pens on little notes, but for assignments it is strictly quill and ink and I HATE redipping my quill every couple of lines. I think it is so genius and I am so glad I saved up for it bc it is SO WORTH IT. if you have experience shifting to hogwarts and writing with normal quills, you might feel my pain ‼️

another fun thing is my shared journal! my friend Iris enchanted these journals that can be written in and seen by each other, kind of like Tom Riddle's diary but for multiple people. whenever my main friends and I are separated in the castle or in vastly different classes, sometimes we will leave little notes for each other and then they will all see it the next time they open the journal. we have useless conversations with our friends in different houses in the middle of the night, and it is like our little wizarding form of texting. IT IS MY FAVORITE!!

16. Does butterbeer taste as bad as it does here? (I tried it a couple years ago on the Harry Potter tour in England and it was so gross)

i'm probably so biased (as I LOVE the taste of butterbeer here), but I can say that it does taste slightly different than what it does at the Harry Potter theme park when I went. the cream soda base mixed with the butterscotch topping is definitely an aquired taste, but in my DR it is not as fizzy and it has more buttery undertones? I definitely agree that the fizzy soda they use in this reality is a little jarring, but when I tried it in my desired reality it just warmed my body and left me so comfortable?? I am such a fan, and I have spent so many nights in this reality trying to replicate the recipe bc IT IS SO GOOD. so far, i've found that adding butter extract really helps! i'm a butterbeer defender till the day i die ‼️

17. Spill some drama about random students. Like who cheated on who, what student is a little bitch etc. lol

oh my fcking god I have so much I could say?? I never anticipated talking all about the "random" students, but i am finding that spilling drama about some of these idiots is so enjoyable and if anyone wants more posts abt this I CAN DELIVER ‼️

to begin, I think we should talk about a seventh year slytherin man named Matteo Pearce. he has lots of family in italy and he was doing school years at some fancy italian wizarding school, and he recently just came back to hogwarts this year?? BAD CHOICE. for some reason, the ENTIRE student body is obsessed with him and he always goes around saying seductive shit in italian and i hear the older gryffindor girls giggling about it all the time in the common room. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL—— before he left, he was dating a gryffindor named Poppy (Matthews, i think?) and they kind of had a bad end to their relationship when they moved. so poppy went all GIRLBOSS and became Head Girl, and now all of her "friends" in her dorm hate her bc she has been ignoring Matteo even though he CLEARLY fancies her still. so, on the SECOND week of school, Poppy decided that she would speak to him again and get on good terms, but when she found them he was snogging a DIFFERENT gryffindor girl (and one of poppy's "friends"). the other girl was named Holly Lauren, but when we found out it was her, none of us were surprised bc Holly is always starting things and we could've guessed it was her. I always think it is so funny bc in Fred's second year of school he was actually trying to be friends with Holly (he had a little puppy crush) and every time that girl does something irresponsible I remind Fred of the bullet he dodged ‼️

also, Louisa Bones has a huge crush on Cedric, and she tells EVERYONE but Ced actually likes her roommate Mia Edwards more and won't stop talking about her. which sucked for me to hear bc I was trying to make Cedric my man but whatever 😔

18. Is there any holiday traditions that Hogwarts has?

I haven't been there long enough to experience a lot of the well known holidays, but during the equinox we have a Mabon feast! this is one of the main times during the year that the classic Hogwarts apple pies are made, and the Cooking Club always has sm fun with it!! as for christmas/yule season, in my desired reality there are yearly Yule Balls that occur during Yule, and there is always a giant party for older students that is had and it is tradition for people to try and stay up all night and then sleep on the train that goes home for holiday. kind of like a giant all night celebration before heading home to family!

I am also so so excited for the Halloween feast because we get the day off and a lot of the students carve the pumpkins that are displayed around the castle / in the Great Hall. also, the newspaper ( the Hogwarts Legacy) always makes a giant Halloween edition and from what I've heard it is pretty amazing (and has a lot of secret sections!)

19. Have you been to any of the other Wizarding schools and what are they like? Have you met any of the students?

I will come back and semi-answer this question when we have the Triwizard in a couple of years! I do want to make a Beauxbatons transfer student DR though, just to practice my mediocre french ‼️

(( I covered question 20 already!))

21. Favorite spell to do in your DR?

this is so basic, but definitely Accio. I never knew how much I would love a spell until I got to use accio for the first time! I don't usually use it for grand things though, and it usually occurs when I am getting ready in the morning and I have something across the room. but it is random all of the time and I think it is making me lazy but oh well!! my non verbal / wandless use of accio is also improving tremendously, but that is something that usually comes innately with sirens! IM LEARNING!!

22. If you’re related to someone in the books or movies - what are they like?

being related to the Weasleys is one of the best choices I have made in ANY desired reality. at first I was worried that I wouldn't fit in in some way, but when I first shifted and Ginny came running into my room with the newest Seeker Weekly and I got to experience the dynamic play out, I knew that these lovely people would impact my life in more ways than I could imagine. For starters, having Molly as a mum is like having another best friend. she is always there to recieve my letters, and she is also there for each of her children when they write. sometimes we wonder if all she does is write to us, because we each get personalized letters and she genuinely enjoys hearing about what happens in our lives. Arthur is the most uniquely supportive of dads. he may be gone most of the day at the Ministry, but he always takes time to pick up things that he thinks we would like so we can fix them together in his workshop. the older siblings are hardly around, but they do write and Charlie and I have surprisingly kept in touch! (mostly because of my magical creatures class HE LOVES that someone else is interested in it). Percy is quite similar to how he is in canon, but when he is genuinely happy it is so contagious to be around. recently, he confessed to dating Penelope Clearwater, and we got to have her over for dinner. certain people bring out the best in him! the twins are as expected! since we all have birthdays in april of the same year, we were inseperable throughout childhood. something I love is how involved I am in the creation of their little business! they get so passionate about the things they care for, and I think other students assume they don't care, but that is far from the truth! the weasleys are so family oriented and we take family dinner and talking about our days very seriously! they all have hearts of gold and the compassion of that family is so admirable <3

if you've read this far, thank you so much for sticking around and letting me explain this life of mine that I hold so close!

as I was writing this, I only realized how little I actually covered and how much I could talk about my DR. I still can't believe that I have finally shifted to Hogwarts??

happy shifting everyone!

tonight is your night!

— 𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐧𝐞

[tw1l1te]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼- 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 1

These are from the FinalPromise!Au. Some will be directly from the og Linked Universe, as I don't envision my story as straying tooooo far from the original. I might add more in the future, but these are the ones that I am thinking of for now! This is part 1/3, which includes Time, Twilight, and Wild! :3

Warnings: mention of scars

⋆｡°✩

𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊

Mans in his early 30s in terms of appearance (actual age is unclear)

Speaks Hylian well but writing? Not so much. Growing up in Kokiri Forest doesn't really help in terms of school smarts, so he had Wars and Sky teach him a bit later down the line.

Has a slight Southern accent, way less prominent than Twilight's though. It comes out more when he's tired or being more flirty (Or doing it on purpose to fluster Y/n.)

Him and Malon are exes? It was a situationship, they didn't really put a word on it. She was there after his quest to support him and keep a roof over his head. They're more like family/friends now

Very tall. We're talking over 6 foot here, and he will also use that to tower over Y/n. They're into that

Also pretty muscular. He was more lean muscle when he was a teen/young adult, but he's bulked up especially since donning the armor.

Has rib tattoos, similar to the Deity markings on his face.

Only has his lobes pierced, however he wants to experiment with more piercings like Twilight.

Has some scarring on his stomach from the battle at the Water Temple, its faded over the years but its still noticeable if you look hard enough

Doesn't sleep well, so takes over night watch a lot. Twilight has to stop him from not sleeping for over 48-hours as that gets him into dangerous mental space territory.

I wanna say he's one of the first member of the chain to feel something for Y/n. I see a lot of pics placing him last usually, but I feel like he's one of the first, especially having tons of time to think about it at night and being the eldest.

Although he's one of the earliest to reveal his feelings to Y/n, he's still processing and taking it slow in terms of bringing it up to the rest of the group.

𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

Time's his great great grandfather?? Some great, he's not quite sure

Twilight's in his early/mid 20's

His hair is a brown-gray mix, the grey becoming more prominent ever since his first time shifting into his Wolf form.

Southern drawl, need I say more

Ears are pierced, has double lobe piercings and an upper cartilage piecing

Pretty tall, close to 6 foot, maybe 5' 11"

Other than the Twili markings on his face, he has a small tattoo of a hoof to commemorate for Epona on his ankle

His markings do extend down his spine and upper arms which make a delicious sight when he's training or above Y/n

Some scarring on his legs and arms from his journey, one longer scar on his right ear from a close call with a Twilight creature once.

Senses are like tripled ever since becoming Wolfie, mr. cowboy can smell things like a mile away.

Similar to Time in terms of build, maybe slightly leaner because of his height

However his voice is the deepest of the group. Mans got the range in octaves and that sexy rasp that he will use to his advantage

Like his ancestor, one of the first to have/admit feelings toward Y/n

However, having a Wolf form also speeds up the feelings of protectiveness obsessiveness... and certain other things.

Has such a sweet tooth.

Loves chocolate so much but ever since Wolfie happened, he can barely eat any 'cause he got that dog in him

Protective of Wild too, other than Y/n, he's probably the only other person that knows what he's been through

𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉

18-19 years old, his adventure has just recently finished

His hair is longer than in his quest to save the princess, though definitely more choppy and wolf cut-like when not in his ponytail

Definitely more lean muscle in terms of build, and is probably average in height

Has triple pieced lobes and a few cartilage piercings, plans on getting more

Left side of his body is heavily scarred, partially deaf in his left ear. Also tends to lose feeling in his left arm and leg, so he prefers to use his right side

Can actually read and speak Hylian How do you think he read everyone's diaries

As we all know, he's one of the best cooks in Hyrule and can cook almost anything, but his favorite thing to make has got to be meat curry and a simple nut cake.

After you came along and introduced him to your foods??? Oh boy he's never been so excited-

Somehow made your favorite foods better than they already were

Closer with Twilight and Legend

Takes longer to catch feelings for you, as the mere concept of feeling toward another person is still a confusing topic for him since his slumber

One of the last ones to catch feelings for you, partially in denial because his belief of not being good enough for you/being very harsh on himself

Twilight almost immediately catches onto Wild's attraction towards you, Wild's not the best at masking nervousness around you

⋆｡°✩

[evvlevie]

Yes, I promise you will shift and/or manifest that thing you want.

Hi besties, it's your girl Evie again, after what seems like ages of me being away for stuff like not failing my uni-exams (!!!)

For my first post after my big pause, I chose to share a little bit of knowledge with you guys, that helped me get through my manifestation-journey / shifting-journey

"If you really want something, it is guaranteed to be yours"

Really simple, but REALLY important.

this is valid for big stuff like SP-manifestations and shifting just like for small stuff e. g. manifesting good weather.

the universe loves you. It loves you so much, that as soon as it registered your desire, all efforts are being made in order to get it to you the fasted way possible.

Yes, that "fastest way possible" can mean time frames that go up to years sometimes.

I have read about success stories of people who "waited" (yes I know that waiting is the wrong terminology here, please don't come for me) for multiple years until the bridge of incidences has played out in the way that it had to, so that the desire could arrive in the way it needed to.

You need to stop treating manifestation as this quick fix for everything ever, because yes desires can manifest within minutes but sometimes they just simply don't.

You need to remember that you wanting something, just means future you has it, and is directing you towards the thing that is "your destiny" through your desires.

This also means one thing: The universe has shown you what shifting is. You desire to shift to a certain place. That means you have already shifted there and you are now experiencing the path that got you there. And when you look at that, wouldn't you agree that it isn't really important on how much pressure you put on it, because since you want it, you are PROMISED to get it anyway? And since you are reading this post, you were supposed to hear me say this, so maybe just believe me for a moment.

Seriously that's how I view my life at this point. Any of my desires are just indicators to me of what I have in the future.

And since I know that, it's way easier to not give power to unlikeable 3D-circumstances, because I already have the spoiler that I get the thing I desire. I wouldn't desire it, if I wasn't getting it anyway. Those unpleasant 3D-Situations are just means to an end, they are just the bridge of incidences that gets me from point desiring to point having it in the physical realm. (Very small reminder here: If an unpleasant situation arises you can react to it, and it won't meddle with your manifestations badly, because as I mentioned, they are promised to you. Many people think that ignoring the 3D means detaching from your very human emotions, which really isn't the point of experiencing the human experience. The point of the human experience are the many emotions attached to it. Ignoring the 3D means, at least to me, that even if it seems very unlikely for the desires to harden into fact and that even it the utter opposite of your desire has shown up, you need to remind yourself that your desire is still promised and guaranteed and that you are receiving it, although unpleasantries appear.)

What I am trying to say here:

If you haven't shifted, yet: don't pressure yourself, don't stress yourself and don't think you are doing something wrong just because you have been trying to shift for a certain amount of time, and still have not.

⇢ because since you want it, you have already done it. You just have to live through the experience of how you got there. And this experience has its length, whether you like it or not. This length is different for each and every person out there. There is no reason to get demotivated. Because why would you if it is already set in stone, that you will have shifted once you lived through the experience of finding out how to shift? You shouldn't go to bed thinking "I hope I shift tonight" and you shouldn't be waking up thinking "Damn it, I can't shift since I didn't last night".

I go to bed excited because I KNOW for certain that I will experience my shift and that every night could be the night and I wake up in my CR thinking "Oh well, looks like the time hasn't come yet, but I know it will."

If you want something, it is already on its fastest way possible to get to you. No "if" , "and" or "but".

Yours in every reality,

Evie <3

[blu-ish]

Seasonal Love💝

Summary: "Love is in the air~" or that's what all the Valentine's Day decor says around Westopolis anyways...

Shadow finally decides to participate in a holiday for once. Little does he know most Mobian's don't know what a "Valentine's Day" is...

AKA Shadow gives a certain oblivious blue hog the surprise of his life.

.

.

.

"Do you know what Valentines Day is Shadow?"

Shadow ponders for a moment, reaching instinctively toward one of the history books spread around the metallic flooring. Flipping past the tables of contents before landing on the page.

"It's name derives from ancient Rome," he holds the small candle to the passage, illuminating the words for the other. "It's a pagan festival called Lupercalia, celebrating a martyr named St. Valentine." Small hands reach to take the book, a soft chuckle following.

"I didn't mean literally silly."

It was past their bed time, well, from what schedule they did have aboard the Ark anyways. The sun was hidden behind the earth, it's rays barley reaching around its curves like a halo.

The lights below sparkled like the blanket of stars surrounding the planet, reminding them of the life they could barely see, they weren't the only ones awake.

Maria smiled, the tubes in her nose shifting ever so slightly. "It has to be one of my favorite holidays."

Shadow adjusted her IV pole as she spoke, making sure it didn't bother her when she moved. "I thought the tree holiday was your favorite." He smirked as Maria rolled her eyes.

"That's Christmas Shadow."

"Close enough," she gestured to her bed as Shadow helped her up, she was always more tired during the night. She hated it.

But what she lacked in physical strength she made up for in her love of knowledge. She wanted to always learn more, more about Earth, about her people. Who they are, what they do, what they did. Besides the doctors and scientists aboard the Space Colony who doted after Maria.

She was fascinated with the giant blue planet, she loved it with every fiber of her being. He wanted nothing more then to experience it with her. It reminded him the hours of testing in the lab and sneering doctor's were worth it, for her.

"It's a day to celebrate those we care about, to remind them we love them. Grandfather thinks it's rather childish, but he thinks that of most things I suppose." She fiddles with her night gown, even with the small flame and his advanced night vision Shadow could see how her face darkened.

"Tell me about it." The hybrid rolled his eyes, trying his best to comfort his sister. If there was one thing to say about his creator, is that he lacked a sense of humor.

Maria let out a giggle taking the candle from Shadow, using her free hand to reach under her pillow.

"I wanted to give this to before you went into the labs today, but I didn't want them taking it away from you." She pulled out what seemed to be a handmade object, a simple paper folded together with Shadow's name written in fine print on the front. A heart sticker sealing its contents.

Shadow let out a soft breath in amazement, gently taking the lumpy paper from her. He examined the paper front to back honestly a bit puzzled. It was kind of heavy. His face flushes in embarrassment as he catches Maria trying not to laugh.

"It's a card, you have to open it, stinky."

"I am not stinky, I am Shadow." He replies monotone, but opens the card as instructed. Through his peripheral vision, he sees Maria's excited expression as he's greeted with a drawing.

It's him and Maria, standing on Earth, hands outstretched to hold the hands of the planets inhabitants encircling the globe, she even included Gerald and a few doctors and nurses he's grown to tolerate.

A bag of coffee beans falls onto his lap.

"It's not chocolate, but I know how much your love grandfathers coffee beans so I--" Maria was enveloped in a hug, Shadow was gentle to not put to much of his weight on her. But this meant so much to him. More than he would've thought it would. He loved his sister to the Earth and back.

"Thank you, Maria."

She blew the candle out.

.

.

.

Shadow stood Infront of one of the many decorated shop windows in the city. His ruby eyes staring right back at him. The heart shaped window stickers had caught his eye, and he ended up glancing around at what was behind the glass.

More heart themed chocolate boxes, bouquets, and what seemed to be a uncountable amount of stuffed toys. Those prices...

"Find something you want hun?" The clicking of heels approached the ebony hedgehog, he knew he didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Your late." He responded a little dryer then anticipated, but Rouge knew better. She insisted he get here early-- the cold might not bother him much, but he'd still rather be inside their drastically warmer apartment by now.

"Had to pick up a few extra things~" The agent chuckled, gesturing to the multiple bags she had in her hands. Shadow only huffed in response. "So glad you understand sweetie! Thank you for coming over to take them off my hands."

He hummed, placing the bags in the side-bag attached to his motorcycle. Somehow the bat was capable of flying hundreds of miles in the air to try to "borrow" a certain emerald from a certain echidna, but is unable to fly to Team Darks apartment with a few bags.

That's just Rouge he supposed.

Just as he was finished snapping the side-bag shut, Rouge let out a dramatic sigh. Glancing back, he saw her looking through the window with a sly smile on her lips.

"My, my, that much for some mere gifts?" She let out a laugh, "Please, what are they stuffed with, diamonds?"

He couldn't help but chuckle, he had to admit it was rather ridiculous, then again some humans tended to be that way.

"I didn't take you for someone to be so concerned with such materialistic things." He teased, but Rouge only scoffed. It wasn't like she just spent a whole extra half hour "shopping" or anything.

"At least people know when I steal from them, I've been living in the city for years, this holiday is nothing more than a capitalistic nightmare." She groaned, fixing her outfit with the reflection.

"Right." Shadow sat on his bike, starting up the engine with a low purr. He was ready to go.

"I'll see you at home hun, just a few more hours and we'll be free from all this Valentines stuff." She blew him a kiss and was on her way, but what she said stuck with him on his ride home.

There was more to it than just that.

.

.

.

He wanted to make a valentines.

He stopped himself halfway turning the keys to unlock the apartments door.

He wanted to.. what?

He pushed the thought away for a second, entering the room and placing Rouges bags on the couch. Slipping out of his jacket, folding it neatly over his arm.

He could, maybe...

But he hasn't made one since then.

Who would he even give it too?

Walking into his bedroom, he set his things down. Thoughts unwantedly swirling around in his mind. He supposed there were multiple people he could theoretically give a gift too. Glancing at his clock, he cursed under his breath. When did it get so late?

He didn't have much time.

But he wasn't actually planning on doing anything so why was he worried. He wasn't. No.

...

He groans as he sits up from his bed, scrambling around for some paper.

He was.

.

.

.

Sonic was asleep in one of the trees surrounding Green Hills. The branch bent a little, supporting his weight. He had found the perfect position where the setting sun hit his quills just right.

"...sonic?"

There was nothing better than getting a moderately warm sunbath during the seemingly cold winter, the hedgehog could barley keep his eyes open during this time of year anyways.. he cursed his hibernation tendencies.

"Sonic..."

Don't get him wrong, he LOVED to run during the winter, kept him active, it didn't snow a lot in Green Hills expect in some areas.. maybe he'd check it out after he wakes up--

"SONIC!"

He woke up with a yelp, quills sticking out sharply, piercing what was left of the leaves on the poor tree. Falling right onto his face on the somewhat grassy surface below.

Quickly standing up, he looked around in a groggy daze.

"Whatsgoingonwhosthreatingtheworldnowohhishads--" Words a little slurred, he readjusted himself by shaking his head, leaves falling with it. He thought he recognized that voice!

However, the other hedgehog only looked at him with mild confusion, hand momentarily outstretched to help the other but ever hesitant.

The hybrid decided to just clear his throat, Sonic noticed how his hand was awkwardly behind him, along with a basket in the other arm. Just Shadow doing Shadow things he guessed, but man, he was so happy to see him.

Sonic practically jumped in excitement. "Shadow! Aw man, how have you been! Didn't think I'd see you until spring dude." Last he heard from his rival, he was abroad on some "mission". He remembered Shadow telling him about it... kinda. He sorta spaced out after Shadow started talking about paperwork and-- yeah he doesn't remember.

"Recon ended early, so I was able to come back.." Sonic raised a brow when Shadow started to avoid eye contact. "Rouge needed help back at headquarters anyways--".

"What's in the basket?" Sonic mentally cringed, he didn't mean to say that out loud. Oh welp.

Shadow glanced down toward his arm, bringing the picnic like basket a little closer to himself. Sonic guessed he was still half sleep because he could've sworn Shadow looked almost, nervous?

"I got you, something." He replied, completely monotone. Sonic blinked.

"Wha...?" A big dumb smile creeped on the hero's face.

Shadow growled, but caught himself and sighed. "It's not anything special, you don't have to take it." He slowly extended his hidden arm, revealing a card-- made simply from folding a paper in half.

Sonic didn't know why, but he could feel his heart in his throat. Trying to stop his tail from wagging too much. He gingerly took the card from Shadow, and the basket. As soon as he opened the lid the smell woke him up completely.

"Is that a chilidog...?"

If Shadow didn't look worried before he sure did now. He crossed his arms, huffing a bit. "Yes, it is... it's all I could think of at the moment."

Sonic placed the basket down to grab it, it smelled heavenly. He took a bite and he swore he was about to cry.

"Holy Gaia... Shadow, WHERE did you get this?!" Sonic had to stop himself from eating it too fast, he wanted to savor every bite.

Shadow seemed to relax a little, relieved for the most part. "I made it myself." The hedgehog said matter of factly. He flinched when Sonic just stared at him in complete awe, his emerald eyes wide.

"I-It was pretty... simple I suppose, why are you looking at me like that?"

Sonic could not believe it... it was almost ironic in a way. His rival, made what was now probably his favorite chilidog ever.

Instead, he directed his attention to the card still in his hand. He ate the rest of his godly like chilidog and opened the card. This time however, Sonic squinted, seemingly reading the card over again and again. Shadow was back to being worried, ears pinned back.

Maybe this was a mistake after all...

"Shadow..." Sonic looked up from the card with a lost look, Shadow felt like he was going to test his own immortality and die right there. Did he go too far? Why did he feel like this? Why wasn't Sonic saying any--

"What's a Valentines Day?"

.

.

.

The duo sat on the roof of Shadows apartment, Sonic had practically begged Shadow for more chilidogs. He didn't know what to do with this kind of power over the hero, yet.

"So your saying there's a whole holiday dedicated to giving gifts to those you care about, and you give them cards that say Happy Valentines Day?" Sonic had started to piece it together, sorta, he took another bite of his chilidog with a thoughtful hum.

"Yes," Shadow took his seat next to the blue hedgehog, "I'm surprised you never heard of it, I assumed it was a well known custom."

"If your thinking of the human calendar at least." Sonic corrected, licking his fingers before Shadow stopped him and handed him a napkin.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," the hero started and let out a breath of a laugh, "Tails would probably be better at explaining this than me.. but basically, you know how Humans tend to call the Earth, well.. Earth?"

Shadow blinked, "I'm aware..."

"Well most Mobians, like us, call it Mobius. And like how Earth as a specific set of seasons and holidays.." Sonic explained, "So does Mobius, but its called the Mobian Calender."

The ebony hedgehog hummed, he didn't know that at all. Who knew Sonic of all people would teach him something...

"So Valentines Day isn't on the Mobian Calender?" Sonic nodded with a smile.

"Yeah! Where did you even learn about that holiday from?"

There was a pause. Sonic looked at Shadow curiously.

"From my sister... Maria, it was one of her favorites."

Shadow noticed how the others face softened, he didn't know why he said that. But, he did, and he felt like Sonic understood. So he didn't press.

After a few moments of strangely comfortable silence, Sonic broke it with a gentle nudge to Shadows shoulder.

"Ya know, I wouldn't mind learning a bit more about it... If you wanted to of course."

Shadow could feel the ghost of a smile creeping on his face. He looked away, not quite sure why he felt such a flush to his face. He hoped the night hid it well.

"I also wouldn't mind, at some point, learning some Mobian traditions as well."

Sonic leaned a bit into his side, causing the hybrid to fluff up a bit.

"You got yourself a deal faker."

[genderqueerdykes]

I don't want to come off as entitled by asking this, but I see you dress more 'feminine' and still ID as butch. I was wondering what the identity means to you as someone who doesn't look like how a butch "should" look? What is the connection there? I hope this doesn't come off as rude, I'm just trying to keep myself from being closeminded in any way and am interested in experiences of others.

i don't really see this as rude! i get a lot of asks where people say both "butches should be able to wear dresses and skirts" and "butches can only dress and look certain ways". there seems to be a lot of contention and gatekeeping over what a butch person should look like, not saying this is what you are doing- i see it constantly in the wild

it's okay to ask these kinds of things because i think a lot of people are confused about the origins of the term butch. butch just means queer masculinity- a queer masculine person can look, act, and dress like anything. there is no set dress code or look for a butch person. i have a phrase which i repeat in these scenarios: the butch is in the person, not the presentation. i see a lot of butches ache and long to wear dresses and other "femme" clothing all the time

i have a complex relationship with both femininity and masculinity due to being intersex. also, i have been living with being called a butch dyke derogatorily my entire life- it's something that's highly close to me. some may postulate that the term "bear" would fit me better, and i have used it in the past, but i'm not sure that one's quite right either. i honestly don't really know if i fit into the femme-butch binary.

due to having DID, some days i feel butch, and other days i feel femme. i am not an unshakeable person, and i have been wondering if the term femme would suit me better these days, given the direction i've pivoted in on the whole. it's a tough thing- queer masculinity to me involves being feminine. it seems confusing, but queer masculinity does not always have to be super macho. a masculine person can display queer masculinity by being feminine, too. the way someone dresses shouldn't have an impact on how they feel on the inside

it's an interesting thing to think about for sure! you caught me right at a time where i have been questioning this, myself. this exact question dawned on me just a few days ago. i was a lot more butch in the past, but i've gravitated toward a more femme experience in recent years. i don't know if i'll ever truly abandon the term butch. it's something i've been getting called my entire life. and i don't think dressing in a feminine way makes someone not butch, but i will say this is something i have been questioning lately!

the thing is, with queer identities, questioning and figuring out what really applies to you takes time. you may find a term and go "oh that's me!" right away, only to discover later on down the road that may not be correct. just because i was hyper masculine in the past doesn't mean i can't be hyper feminine now, you know? things change and shift. maybe at one point I had more butch alters than i do now- change is inevitable in a plural person, and it's hard for us to quantify how many of us are butch vs. how many of us are femme

considering i was already questioning this, this has given me more to think about, for sure. i think it's important to ask these kinds of questions because it may jar you into considering things you haven't before. while butches can present any way they want to, i have been feeling way more femme lately. perhaps i'm a butch who dresses femme, or maybe i've grown in ways where i've discovered that identity doesn't suit me as well as i thought it did. maybe things just changed. so thank you, i'm going to continue considering if that's the direction i'm more headed in lately. :)