#I don't have a clue where I put it

[laughinglynx]

.

[fayzart136]

Fayz here with unfortunate news.

Hi, Fayz here. You might know me from drawings like these.

The bad news is that I have lost my art blog. I have had it for nearly a decade, and one accidental click and it's deleted forever. (I had meant to delete a sideblog I wasn't using anymore. I didn't realize it would nuke ALL my blogs.)

So I guess there's nothing to do but start over from scratch. I am going to tag this with some of the fandoms I was in, in the hopes of spreading the word to people who would otherwise wonder where id gone. I would like to ask people to reblog this, so as many of my old followers can see this as possible.

All my posts are perma deleted. They only exist in reblogs now, not even in the tags. I suppose I could repost my personal favorites. That would take a long while, but it is possible (thank god I keep all my files on my computer. Plus i might be able to use the internet archive to salvage it.)

Still, I'm mourning the digital testament to the friendships I made on here. Nothing to do but rebuild it, i suppose.

EDIT: thank goodness for small fandoms! I have been looking through peoples blogs, and I managed to find a lot of old drawings. I'll reblog them, so that I don't lose the nice comments and tags (plus i enjoy having the original posts on here, even just as a reblog). I'll repost my favorite drawings too, so it shows up in the tags again, but this is what I'll do first.

Ive queued them up for twice a day, they'll be tagged with #grab your lasers. Set them to queue

[uncanny-tranny]

How does one go about getting a t prescription?

How long does it take + how expensive is it?

Where would you even start, what type of doctor do you have to contact, does planned parenthood give people T prescriptions?

Sorry for the ask, I just can't access this information anywhere else

I need to start this post by saying: I - the person answering - am a USAmerican. I have no experience with getting testosterone in other countries, but I have researched other healthcare systems that are in place for trans healthcare. In my country, testosterone is a schedule III controlled substance, and you need a prescription from a doctor to legally possess it (I could rant for hours about how much I hate this, but this is the reality of how the US operates, apparently). I'll be sharing my experience since I know it best with the hopes that it helps - I am not legal or medical advice.

In many places, you will typically be referred to an endocrinologist, someone who specializes in hormones. It isn't unheard of for your primary care physician to order scripts for testosterone, but if they do, it's because they would be licensed to. Not all PCs can even prescribe testosterone in the US because it's a controlled substance.

I personally went through an online clinic in order to get my testosterone - which was needed for me because at the time, I'd had very few positive experiences with healthcare.

In terms of price, that depends on if your insurance will even cover the cost. I pay out-of-pocket, and for those paying that way, that can run (typically) between $150-$300. This also depends on what type of testosterone you plan on administering. I've found that IM injectable testosterone is cheaper than cream or gel testosterone - each method has their own pros and cons, and the prices vary drastically at times.

Planned Parenthood can be a great path for those who have the Planned Parenthood facilities that offer trans healthcare. Not all Planned Parenthood facilities will offer trans healthcare. And, indeed, I was planning on using Planned Parenthood, but the closest one that offered trans healthcare was over an hour away and later seemingly ceased offering that care, which would mean I might have had to drive three hours to the next one. That's a huge contributing factor as to why I chose a virtual clinic.

If you are comfortable with your primary care physician, you might be best helped by asking them. I'm sharing my experience, but this is by no means a comprehensive look into how you would access testosterone. Your needs, the care available, and where you live all impact how you'll get care, and the last thing I want to do is tell you to do something you can't.

[khr-doodling]

tfw the person you love with all your being loses the round and is killed in front of your eyes

[sesamenom]

dear british silm people: where approximately would be a good place for the Dagorath final battle to happen?

[steakout-05]

i've made a few posts about the Clone High reboot before but something specific that i think it gets wrong are the way they handle their celebrity cameos. the original Clone High would sometimes bring in these popular celebrities to appear in the show, usually to influence the clones and push the main anti-moral of the episode. since Clone High was made in the early 2000s, these appearances got really dated really fast. but something that counteracts that is the way they're characterised. for example, i have no clue who tf Mandy Moore is, but i still really enjoyed her appearance in the Snowflake Day episode because of the way she's characterised and satirised. she's portrayed as this homeless girl who happens to be attractive and look suspiciously like Mandy Moore who's obviously trying to hide the fact that she's a popular celebrity by playing the role of Joan's guardian angel. she leads Joan on into thinking she's this magical angel when she's actually just stealing everyone's stuff and replacing it with spices, and it works really well because 1. her insistence that she isn't a celebrity was really funny and 2. she works on her own as a solid character to push the story along and set up jokes. they put a twist on the whole "hi i'm [insert celebrity here] and i'm here to talk about [insert psa here]" by turning it into a joke of itself and adding on extra traits that make the characters entertaining to watch.

the reboot, however... just does the "hi i'm celebrity" bit with full sencerity and doesn't really satirise the celebrities in any way. they don't make fun of them or add commentary or critique them in any way, they just appear to send a message and then dip, just like they would in the same teen dramas Clone High was meant to parody in the first place. for example, in the episode where they get hunted down by the Heebie Jeebie monster, its revealed at the end to be that guy from Sharknado who's just kinda like "hey i'm trying to send a message about the importance of teenager's mental health, here's a hotline, i'm sharknado dude btw" and then just kinda... dips? i don't like this because there's no joke there, it's literally just a celebrity coming on, saying the message out loud, and then leaving. there's no criticisms, there's no making fun of the character, there's no commentary on the fakeness of bringing on big celebrities and actors delivering a message that big stars like them could's possibly care less about to influence a vulnerable and impressionable group of people like teenagers, there's nothing there. i'm not saying the message of mental health is dumb or bad or anything, i'm just saying that the celebrity appearances aren't handed the same criticisms the original show was written to have, and i think that takes away the reboot's spirit as being connected to Clone High. it's not a satire anymore and i feel like i can't enjoy it because of that. it has become the very thing the original saught to mock, and like, that's kinda funny in a fucked up ironic way, but it's also really not. the reboot just doesn't have that same spark that made me fall in love with the original series and i feel like i can't like it because of that, among the multitude of other issues it has.

[senamarais]

My Favourite Screenshots from Gossip Girl: Season Four; Serena van der Wodsen, Part 1.

[elisedonut]

I feel like the way people who like both Percy and Snape view Percy is just different to how people who only like Percy view him

Which is fascinating to me because its at the point that I just kind of start reading something then can think "this feels like a Snape Percy writer" then go to their account and there it is

Snape fics

[capybaraonabicycle]

You know something I am really sad about is how the TARDIS interior changed for tenteen. It would have been a whole different story if the clothes had been normal but like this? Everthing the Doctor was just vanished and got replaced. The screwdriver coming out of nothing? The outfit? A new fancy TARDIS?

10 kept the TARDIS from 9 and 12 from 11. 13 had to fight to get her TARDIS back and built herself a new screwdriver in the meantime. 11 had to let her recalibrate until she was usable again and gave him a new screwdriver (? I think ? Don't quite remember where he got the sonic) All of them CHOSE their new outfit and had a whole thing where they searched for it.

And tenteen just gets all those things like this, appearing in his lap. Which is convenient, sure, but I feel like he really lost the identification process on the way. Maybe not as important for him as he knows the body and mind and companion already (in theory) but like, I am not surprised he is going through it like this. He just wanted to hang on to Yaz, wasn't allowed that, lost her, decided she was gonna be excited for change, didn't really get change either and then everything they could hold onto as part of their last identity, everything that was theirs to let go off, just got ripped out of his hands replaced with a weird mixture of 'look how new and nice and shiny' and 'isn't that lovely reminiscent of 4 bodies ago'. No wonder they are running on their gingiva*, I would be so lost and disoriented in his place.

And then obviously from a meta pov I dislike that 15 is apparently copying tenteen's TARDIS now. We got a scene of tenteen exploring the new TARDIS and being excited but for 15 he has already had 1.5 adventures with her. And while we couldn't put tenteen into the old clothes it was okay to put 15 in underwear? Wouldn't it have made much more sense to have the weird clothes' thing happen with the mitosis regeneration? (like, I wouldn't have liked that either but it is a little weird how tenteen got a full suit and 15 got the bare minimum)

And I hate how it feels like every part that made the Doctor 13 got erased as quickly as possible. Luckily, there were a few references at least - if no one got me I know the psychic paper got me <3 - and I GET why the fam didn't show up in the puppet show but like, couldn't you have left tenteen the TARDIS interior at least? I am sure Donna would have liked the crystal columns <3

It feels very rtd to have tenteen showered with gifts he can't even want and that are way too much while others are erased or overshadowed by him and get the leftovers.

On a similar note, I was also direly missing post-regeneration haze for both of them. Who knows (well people who have watched the Christmas special, I guess), maybe that's yet to come for 15? But like how are they supposed to function without running about without a clue and passing out every 5s for a day or two?

*German expression, means to be on one's last legs

[diseaseriddencube]

girls literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting

[life size replica of Courier's bike]

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Riku and Kairi in Sync/Their Hearts Connected

Riku and Kairi Holding Hands

Riku and Kairi Having a Nice Moment Together, and Then the Scene Ending/The Scene Panning Out

Riku and Kairi Holding Each Other

Riku and Kairi Limit Riku and Kairi Fighting Alongside Each Other

Inspired:

[emdotcom]

Agony, chat; if I want to understand Post-Shift 2 better, I have to actually go back & fully understand Post-Shift 1.

[crimeronan]

oh i've started listening to nona btw, my audiobook hold went thru at the library after many weeks of waiting. i also realized part of why i'd been putting it off was because i know i'm gonna miss a lot of important details and characterization and implications and have no idea what's going on during the first read and embarrass myself, which is silly. not knowing wtf is happening is a Vital Feature of these stories. i do not need to retain every single page of a book with perfect clarity or absorb every single thematic implication as i read it in order to enjoy it. <-desperately chanting this sentence while gripping the sink staring wild-eyed into the mirror

SO the plan is to just casually let it play through once so i get the vague shape of the story & then, if i have enough time left on the hold, to do a second listen wherein my brain will Actually Pay Attention. we'll see.

[thethingything]

I think it's fucking ridiculous that I can't delete a photo from google photos without it deleting it from my fucking phone. I started backing up photos to a different account and it's decided to back up everything on our phone but I literally just want to back up photos I take from now onwards, but if I try to delete the ones it's backed up it deletes them from our phone's gallery too and there doesn't seem to be a way to turn this off

[bowithoutadaemon]

I nearly have to get ready for the family dinner at my brother's mom's apartment. This year my brother isn't here but at his boyfriend's house somewhere in a different city.

I usually already felt a but awkward. Big group of people that I don't spent a lot of time with and some of them are getting drunk and some think it's fun to make jokes with the purpose of making the queer people in the room uncomfortable... :/

If my brother is there we often end up playing on our switches. But the idea of sitting on my own, playing video games feels... rude?

So I'm gonna take a sock with a hole, my spedeweve and some yarn. And try using the thing for the first time. Already discovered the hole is too big to be fixed in one go. So my first time darning with that lil loom is gonna be extra challenging.

And idk why but me sitting on my own darning/weaving doesn't feel rude.

[jacks-the-flower]

darling i just can't get you out of my head, your scent lingers in my old jumper

~~~~~~

It was so elusive, so mind-boggling. It put her brain on the edge of an idea and her tongue ready to burst out with the answer.

Hang on, was that her old perfume?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a peculiar thing, something so familiar yet so unanticipated. She caught it at the edge of her own perception, sweetly reaching her senses with a dubious flair. It was something she knew well, something that she knew a little too well. What was it? It was right there for her to grasp, but the concept was elusive. Perhaps there was too much going on around her.

She stood before him, simultaneously at home and exposed. What would he think of her now? Did he remember her? Did he still believe in the end of that sentence? Why did he change? Was he alone? What was that smell?

Now she understood it, the floral scent of her past. Her past with him. But why was she discerning it now? Was it the reminder of everything, of what she’d had with him, what they had been? Unless…

She approached him slowly, artfully prowling towards him, making herself known yet advancing calmly and disarmingly. There was no need for her curiosity to scare him off. 

She stopped a few feet away from him, drawn in by her own scent. It wasn’t her scent anymore, however, it was his. It mingled with his own various aromas; the wool coat, the leather polish on his hands and shoes, the grease from the TARDIS, what must be numerous hair gel products he’d used. His scent was quite unique, yes, but under all of that: her. 

“Are you going to say anything?”

Her golden brown eyes flickered to his own green-tinged ones. She’d never thought that any other pairs of eyes would be as entrancing, or scents for that matter. Somehow this version was the most intoxicating, boyish but ancient and venerable, something new in ways that she hadn’t experienced from him. When she looked into his eyes, she saw an openness that hadn’t been there. He was somehow, simultaneously, more guarded than she’d ever seen him, and yet more open to her.

“Am I- is it… good different? Bad different?”

His eyes grew worried and lines started to appear in assent with his fears, she supposed it was now time to say something, “You’ve been using my soaps.”

He gave a light chuckle at that, bowing his head a little in confirmation, “Yes well, I had to, well I- I had to…” he stammered uncertainly, “keep you with me somehow.” He looked back up at her, “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been, well…” he paused before blurting out, “I’ve been using your room.”

She raised her brows, he what?

“Well some nights, I’m in the hammock; lovely things hammocks, quite comfortable.” 

Ah, a familiar habit. He did so love a good babble, in both of the bodies she knew. Though her first one seemed to prefer it from her while she was cross with someone. He’d had beautiful blue eyes then, though his new green ones were just as gorgeous. He smelt of leather polish in that face too. 

She slowly pulled her hand up, sweeping along the hem of his coat on its way.

“I erm, I can move back out if you’d like,” she kept moving ever so slowly, brushing over his hearts, enjoying his impatient jitters, “who am I kidding of course you’d like me to move out of your very own, very personal room. That’s,” he gasped out as she pressed her hand against his cheek, drawing circles behind his ear, taking in the details of his new face, “that’s just common sense. In fact, it was wrong of me to take up residence in the first place, what was I even thinking? Stupid Doctor, never thinking about what you want.”

And with that, she was thrust back into uncomfortable memories; moments where they were so close, but separated by a wall of fear and uncertainty. Now isn’t that a funny comparison.

Her hand had stilled and she brought it down to caress his chin, “If I’m allowed back, I can’t do that again, Doctor.”

He stepped impossibly closer to her, knocking her hand down to his chest where she could feel his hammering double-heart rate, and reached up to cup both sides of her face with his hands, staring intensely into her eyes, “It was never, ever an if, Rose Tyler. It was always a matter of when.”

She peered into his eyes, searching for the deceit, the lie to placate her. She found nothing but determination and adoration. He looked amazed, presumably at her, his eyes drifting over her features; she’d almost call it reverent. Did he still have that much faith in her? After all of this time?

“How long has it been, Doctor?” she questioned softly, lips moving faster than her mind. 

His eyes dimmed, skirting from her face, and he withdrew his hands from her cheeks. She missed them.

He retreated in on himself slightly, stepping back and slouching down, bringing his arms in close, wringing his hands. He wouldn't meet her eyes. She missed them too.

“It’s difficult to place exactly, but my guess is around three-hundred, three-hundred ‘n fifty, years.” It was a painful thing to imagine, but not a surprising one. He was older.

Then again so was she.

She couldn't help her regret in not finding him sooner. Centuries had passed and they had to move forward. It changed them. “I’m so sorry, Doctor; I’m so late,” she told him mournfully.

He smiled bitterly at that, still looking to the side, “Something tells me I’m late too,” he said, green eyes finally looking at hers once again. She understood immediately; there was always something of the wolf about her. Though wolves don’t tend to live as long.

He faced her fully again, gazing at her with a great jumble of emotions, “I suppose we’re a bit more evenly matched now, not that we weren’t before but…” At that, his eyes grew more pained and guilt-ridden, conveying what she thought was an apology. Those eyes were always quite expressive weren’t they.

She approached him once more, this time she snaked both of her hands around his neck, his own moving to rest on her hips. She fixed her eyes directly on to his, trying to convey as much love and determination as she could, “You’ve got my forever, Doctor, do I have yours?”

He drew her in closer, resting their foreheads together, “I think you’ve always had my forever, Rose,” he took a deep breath in, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She took her own breath in, cataloging his new scent of antiquities and floral soap. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, before confessing, “I love you.”

She knew what would happen next, he never gets to finish his sentence. She was fine with that, content even, only knowing that he felt so much for her. It didn’t have to be said.

“I love you too, Rose Tyler.”

She snapped her eyes open, flitting over his face – nose, hair, ears, cheeks, eyebrows - before settling on his eyes; his ever expressive, blue-then-brown-now-green eyes. He was fixed on to her, transfixed on her face, her own eyes. Amazed, relieved, and genuine all at once. It was not the platitude that she might have expected, it was a truth in the way he looked at her, held her in his arms, caressed her features. In the way that he used her old soaps and slept in her room, three-hundred something years after she was gone. 

“Yeah?” She felt a weight lift from her chest, something she’d never known about. She felt herself brighten and she smiled at him, giddy with the new revelation. She always knew he loved her, but now she believed it.

“Yeah,” He followed suit, lips growing wider and wider, toothier and toothier. It was a marvelous sight for a face so marred by regret and guilt to be so openly happy, so openly in love. She found that it was intoxicating. She found him intoxicating.

Every bit of him - clothes, cadence, scent, hair, freckles - was fascinating and new, but intensely familiar in ways she wasn’t sure he'd readily admit. She found herself loving him all over again.

She always fell right back in love, even when he changed faces and preferences. She just grew to cherish each and every new characteristic and quirk. Like the eyes that were staring at her. Like the lips curved into a small, fond smile.

She slowly raked her eyes up from his lips, leisurely gliding over his features. His eyes were heavy-lidded, no doubt from watching her sultry show. She saw the same feelings that she had reflected within herself; attraction, fondness, intoxication, and love. 

He leaned his head down and she tilted hers up, moving in a familiarity they shared in their old lives. When their lips met, she realized that this was in fact so wonderfully new. They were not so young back then to not have shared a kiss between them, but this one was different. Different in the way they held a tenderness between them instead of stunted longing. Different in the way they embraced each other with care and affection. Different in the way they could taste the devotion and determination they’d been too fearful to commit to. 

His tongue flicked out along her bottom lip and she opened up to him fully, one hand threading through his hair. His left hand slowly traveled up from her hip to the small of her back, nails grazing her skin. The physical and mental effect it had on her caused her to gently pull back for air; the bridges of their noses resting together, their hands in wandered places. 

She had taken a few moments of stillness before realizing how mentally connected they had become. A soft presence was intermingled with her mind, sharing in her love and admiration as they became closer than they previously dared. 

She opened her eyes and found him, his own eyes already wide and fixed on hers. She smiled softly and sent a warm wave of emotions to him, focussing on reassurance and determination as well as tenderness and adoration.

He breathed out a short puff, breaking out into another disbelieving smile. He brought the hand from her hip up to her cheek and kissed her again, this time with excitement and enthusiasm. His tongue dipped into her mouth again, energetically brushing over the back of her teeth and soft palate. A small laugh bubbled up from her chest and he pulled back, sharing in her euphoria.

He settled back down, loosening his hold to a comfortable embrace. “Am I dreaming?” he breathed out.

She hummed at him, “That depends, what would your dream say?”

“No.” he said, shaking his head slightly.

She smirked thoughtfully, tilting her head to mock-think, “Then yes,” she decided, giving him a tongue-touched smile that she knew made his mind misfire. And misfire it did, if the stumbling rush of consciousness brushing against her was anything to go by.

He rocked forward excitedly, before pausing, eyes alight with mirth, “Well hang on now, is that a yes to me dreaming or a yes in contrast to what my dream would say?”

She just smiled wider, “Can I stick around and find out?”

“Darling, you,” he kissed both of her cheeks, before looking right at her, genuinely, “can move in with me.”

She felt giddy at that, sharing it across their connection, but outwardly maintaining her playful demeanor, “Weeeell,” she drawled out, “your home is pretty big, infinite, you could say.”

He chuckled, holding her tight, “That she is.”

He slowed for a moment, taking a deep breath, before looking at her in earnest, “Be there when I wake up?” he asked hopefully.

She reached up a hand to brush his hair, giving him a fond smile and a caress of conviction and certainty. 

“Forever.”