#I don't want anyone to feel obligated to interact with it because that's even worse!

[ghostcaterwaul]

So, I’ve been working on a new OC, Alice. She’s the most developed OC I’ve worked on in years, but I don’t know what I’m gonna do with her yet.

I also happen to be hyperfixated on Metal Lords right now and I’ve been thinking about just putting her in a Metal Lords fic cuz I’ve already got a brief idea for that but I don’t know. The fandom’s kinda small and like, this wouldn’t be romance or anything like that, I don’t think. I’d probably just drop her into the world and then just freewrite, basically. But I don’t feel like anyone would read it. A fic for a small-ish fandom that has an OC but no, like, active romance or anything? I feel like no one would care enough to read it. Especially since I know a lot of people are kinda weird when it comes to OCs in fanworks.

And like, this would be the first time I’ve written anything in years so it’d really mess with my head if I put time into writing something and didn’t get any sort of response or feedback at all so even if I do write it, I’m probably not gonna post it cuz I would literally rather get the worst of the worst of internet hate than work on something, work through the anxiety of posting it, then have it flop.

It’s the anxiety thing that’s stopping me, tbh. Like, I have a lot of anxiety about posting online in general and it really sucks when I actually beat that anxiety and make a post only for no one to respond or interact with it in anyway? Like, if I wanted to scream into the void, I’d just write in my journal and skip the anxiety part all together. It’s part of the reason that on my old blog, even before the shadowban, I just lurked and reblogged and didn’t make original posts. Like, I’d rather just skip the entire anxiety thing all together.

[ghostcaterwaul-old]

So, I’ve been working on a new OC and she’s the most developed OC I’ve worked on in years, but I don’t know what I’m gonna do with her yet.

I also happen to be hyperfixated on Metal Lords right now and I’ve been thinking about just putting her in a Metal Lords fic cuz I’ve already got a brief idea for that but I don’t know. The fandom’s kinda small and like, this wouldn’t be smut or even romance, I don’t think. I’d probably just drop her into the world and then just freewrite, basically. But I don’t feel like anyone would read it. A fic for a small-ish fandom that has an OC but no, like, active romance or anything? I feel like no one would care enough to read it.

And like, this would be the first time I’ve written anything in years so it’d really mess with me if I wrote something like that and didn’t get any sort of response or feedback at all so even if I do write it, I’m probably not gonna post it cuz I would literally rather get the worst of the worst of internet hate than work on something, working through the anxiety of posting it, then have it flop. It’s the anxiety thing that’s stopping me, tbh. Like, I have a lot of anxiety about posting online in general and it really sucks when I actually beat that anxiety and make a post only for no one to respond or interact with it in anyway? Like, if I wanted to scream into the void, I’d just write in my journal and skip the anxiety part all together. It’s part of the reason I just lurk and reblog and don’t make original posts. Like, I’d rather just skip the entire anxiety thing all together.

[hiskillingjar]

curious as to how you you think strade, law, and ren would react towards an absolute loser/femcel mc, love your account btw

weeeee thank you <3 i'm kind of into this character trope/kink so happy to oblige!

ren 🦊

"i can fix her"

he will make you worse

i mean on the surface he gets everything he wants. someone who likes all the same stuff he likes, he's always liked the shy, nerdy type, after all

what's better, you don't have any friends who will care if...things go a little awry

he'd find your absolute lack of knowledge when it comes to socialising cute. even if you were standoffish, or even rude to him, he'd just use that as a motivation to make you open up

by any means necessary, of course...

he'd like any opportunity to teach you (condition you) to be the perfect girl he wants too.

like my fair lady but kinky. forcefem but for cis people.

and don't worry, he's very patient. he has the perfect vision at the end, and he'll do what he can to make sure it happens :3

law 🥀

"what's a femcel...?"

law would not care, they're basically a femcel themselves.

it would be like two loser girls sitting together and neither one can bring themselves to touch or even speak to the other

granted, they do like the idea of you not having anyone but them to talk to or interact with

they want someone dependent after all

so maybe you'd grow a little closer together, totally detatch yourselves from the rest of the world and prioritise a life together...smoking weed, jerking each other off, watching gore videos

seems like kind of a nice gig tbh

strade 🔨

on first impressions, strade couldn't care less

similar to ren, it might even be a plus.

you follow along so easily to the littlest amount of attention because your self-esteem is so low...he definitely take advantage of that :)

plus, no friends, no witnesses, nobody to come looking for you if you went missing. it's hard not to be appealed to that

you're also just a natural target for teasing and bullying after the fact. you're just so easy to wind up and make upset, how could he possible resist?

very lows and highs with strade though, he's either being sweet on you or making fun of you, making you feel that much more dependent and unbalanced.

and you don't have anyone else to turn to...and nobody is looking for you because you were dumb enough to be totally avoidant when you could have been making friends

if you think about it, this is kind of your fault, isn't it?

don't worry, liebling, I'll always be your friend, even if no one else will <3

[thecameronchronicles]

Swimsuit

TW: Smut. Language. Daddy kink. Marking kink.

Pogue!Reader!

SUMMARY: Your recent interaction with JJ sends you to reveal your relationship to your friends. 

WORD COUNT: 1900

REQUESTED

Swimsuit

His eyes remained on you as if parting them for even a moment would mean certain death. Yet the contradiction of tight trunks and an inability to act on such an ache within would set him in a torment of observation but stillness. To make matters worse he caught those smirks you made in knowing bending over would give him a new reason to sweat and adjust in his seat. That perfect ass he marked daily, just out of reach, as it had been the last several weeks of your unspoken and unfounded relationship. 

"You wanted to get that now?" JJ asked as Pope and John B tied up the HMS Pogue to the small dock outside the Chateau. But you were well aware of what awaited you on the other side of the door once you were alone. And although you were eager to feel his touch, you favored delayed gratification just a bit more. 

"It can wait."

"I don't think so." He spoke behind clenched teeth as you assisted Kiara as she brought the supplies on land. 

"It's really…important."

"I'm sure it will be just as important when it happens again."

"You're so sure it will?"

"Jesus, will you just go already?" John B groaned to your consistent bickering as Sarah caught on to a specific glimmer behind your eyes that illuminated when you were reminded how you would get to feel him again. 

"You think you're cute, sweetheart?" He asked as you moved into The Chateau. Not even a toe over the threshold before his hands were turning you to face him. 

"Careful, J, someone could see-" 

"They're going to do a lot more than that because I'm not going to wait another fucking second." You were suddenly lifted around him. Your body was used to open the same door that he forced closed with his foot as you were taken to the bed. 

In the breath of a second, he stood before you with a bare chest as you bit your bottom lip to the sight. 

"Off." He commanded as he motioned to the shirt you'd borrowed from Sarah earlier that morning in an attempt to keep you from getting burned by the sun. 

"All of it." He demanded as you obliged, but left only your bikini beneath, "Leave the bottoms on…I want to be the one to take them off after being teased all goddamn day…watching you bend over." His fingers ran across your cheek in that kind trace and to a rest in your hair. His second hand came to your jaw, opening it just enough to offer a thorough kiss that left you breathless. Soft lips acting as a deception to the curious tongue on a mission of slow exploration. 

"You wanna tease me? Make me wait? Then you're gonna take me just how you made me."

"You won't let me ride your fingers at least?" He scoffed, turning you away from him. 

"I know you get off on watching me suffer. Knowing I want you…unable to do anything about it." He removed his trunks before untying the edges of your suit. 

"Well now I can. And if you want any chance to come before they hear you and find out how much of a whore you are for me, you better call me exactly what I want."

"I'm sorry…" You left him in suspense of silence before turning to face him. Vixen eyes hollow with lust staring back at him as you bit your bottom lip.

"Daddy…" One single thrust bottoming out inside you made you gasp as you were given a moment to adjust to him. Even if you knew his cock from every angle, he wanted you to feel him as deeply as possible in this specific instance. All to know your errors and how he set to amend them. 

"I'm gonna make you think twice about flaunting this ass for anyone else…" He directed his palm to your bare ass. The collision of his touch to your skin was enough to make you shiver. But it was the strike of brunt force that made you gasp. Even if you had come to expect it, the carnal need behind it surprised you as he'd never claimed you this dominantly before. 

"Because it's mine." He pulled your hair back towards him, making you wince at the pain left behind. 

"Every part of you is all fucking mine..say it so I know you're not too desperate to just agree to anything I say just so you can come."

"I'm yours." You confessed breathlessly. 

"All of you? Or just the part that's crying for me? Maybe just your red ass?" 

"All of me!" You agreed, submitting yourself to him at a shameless volume as neither of you came to care for anything but each other. That next thrust. That close release. All that either of you could think of had been that well awaited high that teased you both as it neared closer and closer still. 

"Lay down. You don't get to bury your head into the sheets this time. You wanted to tease me. You're gonna deal with the consequences." He smirked, dimples visible just before your eyes clamped closed as he took himself between your thighs once again. 

"You feel how deep I am?" 

"Fuck-" 

"Careful, princess, they might know without you needing to answer me-"

"Please…."

"You wanna come?" You nodded, biting your bottom lip and offering wide eyes of consideration as he scoffed. 

"Almost ten hours of having to watch you bend over in that little bikini…your ass and boobs taunting me…I'm going to make you wait until I take full advantage…" He pulled your top freely, his mouth ravaging your breasts as you moaned to every motion made against you. The slow glide of deep yet soft thrusts made your stomach clench with a coming orgasm that only intensified by the focus set to your nipples. He crafted your body to his desires, his breathing evidential to how he favored your own reactions to him. 

"So fucking good for me, baby. But I'm not done-" He kissed you roughly, a tongue trailing down your jaw as Kiara's voice returned you to reality. 

Immediately, you rushed a hand over his mouth as you knew him well enough to know he'd tease discovery. If not for pushing you to your limitations than for the dirty words you saw on broadcast behind those mischievous blue hues darkened to reveal such a thing. Groaning into your hand, he quickened his paces and made you grip tighter into his jaw. 

"JJ-" He pinned the hand on his face now to the bed. 

"If you want to come, it's going to be right now. Where they can hear you but you're going to be a good girl for me so I can come  without having to hear their shit. At least not yet…" He pulled your legs higher at his hips so he was allowed even deeper inside of you. But your suffering would come in the slow flicks made over your clit by his thumb. Purposeful to lengthen your torment, he nodded as you struggled beneath him. 

"Please."

"Careful sweetheart, they're going to hear just how desperate you are to come for me…fuck, if they could see how beautiful you look when you're about to come." His hand was rough in your hair, "But only so get to see it…right? RIGHT?" He asked through clenched teeth but a dominant tone that remained quiet enough to be heard by only you. 

As Pope and John B's voices joined Sarah as they made their way into The Chateau, JJ remained on a mission to make you come undone for him. Never before had it been so risque, so close to being uncovered, and yet it made you feel every thrust even deeper. 

"Only you." You validated as he nodded, the hand from your hair wrapping around the back of your neck as he pulled you into him. 

"Come for me baby…Where only I can hear you…but I wanna feel how badly you want it…so don't hold back…give me all of it…" He grunted, breaking to breathe between quick thrusts as you agreed in silent affirmation. Nails staining his tanned skin with crimson lines of desperation had been the first indication of this submission, followed by a clench of your inner walls, and finalized by the roll of your eyes as you washed over his cock. 

"Making you come makes me need to come inside of you…so fucking deep that you can't help but drip for hours…in that fucking swim suit…" He added as you nodded as he rutted himself into a second high, only to retract once his tremors had subsided. 

"JJ…" His fingers replaced his cock. Slow motions setting you back into a rhythm that was denied once again as he took his stained fingers to your chest. 

"Your ass is already red. Your lips are swollen. You'll have a hard time walking…but now…" He drew his cum over your nipples, twisting and kneading them as he spoke, "and NOW you'll wear me until you shower…Where I want those pretty little fingers to finish what I didn't."

"Please JJ…it's not the same…" 

"I know. Consider it your punishment for teasing me all day." He smacked your ass before leaving you in bed, as he joined the other pogues. 

The next morning you came into The Chateau on a mission. Aware Kiara and Pope had been working and John B was somewhere on The Cut with Sarah, you barreled through The Chateau and into the room usually kept by JJ. 

"Where are they JJ?"

"I don't know what you're looking for but it's clear someone hasn't taken care of herself because your too tense-" 

"I told you, it wasn't the same as your fingers! Now where are my swim bottoms?"

"They're on my bedroom floor where I tore them off with my teeth yesterday." You heard John B clear his throat as JJ beamed with pride. 

"I thought everyone was gone…" 

"You thought wrong princess…" As you stood in shame, JJ had slipped into the room and emerged with your bikini bottoms. 

"Yep…they still smell as sweet as yesterday…" he spoke to where only you could hear as JJ flung his arm around you as you say on the couch, mortified. 

"So how long has this been going on?" Sarah asked, only half surprised as everyone else tried to wrap their head around your change of relationship. Of any two people to cross from friends to more than, you and JJ were the last in consideration. All because you bickered more than you flirted, as they were unaware the two were synonymous in existence. 

"Is this why you've stopped trying to hook up with the tourons?" John B teased. 

"Don't be jealous because she chose me " John B blushed as Sarah's brows rose. 

"You all had a thing for her and are just jealous she saw something in me." You were surprised by this as Pope's gaze flashed to the floor. 

The banter continued. JJ threw shade towards the starcrossed situation between Sarah and his best friend as Pope was the one to question your sanity and longevity of what he believed to be simply hooking up. You validated it was more than this before Kiara offered her condolences and you were eventually congratulated by Sarah. All in all, it was exactly as you'd expected it to go. But you couldn't deny the relief that washed over you in no longer needing to hide those touches you craved and the same ones you wanted to offer to him. Even if it would take a moment to adjust to, you were finally able to be together wholly. 

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @drews1love @phildunphyisadilf @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK MASTERLIST

[overshelter]

REVIEW: Married Thrice to Salted Fish

WARNING: It's full of SPOILERS, so CAUTION!

Well, about this one...

IT'S TOO CUTE, MY GOD! I REALLY CAN'T STAND IT!

Seriously! Despite how labored, painful and even harrowing the plot may be, MTSF is definitely a novel with a very, very cute and sweet plot!

This story is truly about love, development and how a relationship should be. The way Jiang Xing and Lin Qingyu fell in love little by little, and then got into a relationship, was definitely a sight for sore eyes, a pure delight for anyone reading! The author managed to write in such a sincere and natural way. You can clearly see the love growing between them with each reincarnation of Jiang Xing and you're able to fall in love with each interaction, as well as being fascinated by the changes in the way they treat each other with each one. I still can't get over the way they flirt! It's so sweet, funny and definitely daring that you can't help but smile with every paragraph of narration. I really love the way this author has developed them. I think I rarely come across novels where the relationship is written in a way that gives you that sense of reality, where you can feel that the couple are truly and intensely in love. And what's worse? It's not even toxic or intensely bad! It's just right!

I also love, ABSOLUTELY LOVE, Jiang Xing and his salted fish dream! I can totally relate! Too bad I'm a mere mortal and can't really reach the brain of our favorite slacker. I really wish I could, though... but even though I can't, I like having the privilege of reveling in the fact that he's still going to have to "work hard" for his Baobei for a long, long time! Anyway. Jiang Xing is also a beautifully developed character, with a captivating personality and way of thinking that easily draws anyone in. I completely understand Qingyu and why he is so enamored of this "mere student", even more so with how proficient this student is at appeasing and pampering our great beauty.

Apart from our Jiang, I obviously love Lin Qingyu, our cold and poisonous beauty, who could easily end your life with a single comment. Petty? Who cares! It's his great charm! After all, just like Jiang Xing, I can't help but get excited and anxious to see such a beautiful person poison his offenders to death and stomp on them. Honestly? If I were them, I'd even be grateful. After all, it's not every day that someone so beautiful and so prestigious is willing to pay attention to you, even if it's just to throw you in a grave. But anyway. Our beauty is not only cold, it's also unbearably cute and sweet. Of course, that's just for student Jiang and, later, a little bit for their adopted son, Shen Huaishi – another one I totally wanted to hold and spoil in every possible way! –.

Another point here is the narrative. It flows very well, and the writing doesn't leave you alone until you've consumed every chapter! I'm being honest! I finished one hundred and forty-seven of them in two or three days! I couldn't stop unless I finished it in one go and, if it hadn't been for the fact that I had obligations and had started reading in the middle of the week, I would definitely have finished it in one day after spending the night obsessively and psychotically involved with the story of these two. So believe me when I say that this is a poisonous novel that won't let you go until you have no more content left!

Well, I don't want to say too much because, even though I've already given away a HUGE spoiler just by mentioning "Jiang Xing", I still really want to preserve some things and experience before you read on. So I'm not going to say anything other than that this novel should be a must-read and high on your priority list. Especially if you're looking for a couple with real development, a compelling dynamic and a great story to tell.

In short...

READ IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!

[shuihuzhuan]

to be entirely transparent this is a vent post. nobody's obligated to read it and the only reason it's public is because venting to specific people makes me feel Worse, and i just want to try to put things into Words for myself, you know?

i've definitely been doing some self-isolating Lite (tm) for a while now but haven't quite figured out why or how exactly to remedy it, especially because for the past half year or so i've just felt way too, like, tired, i think is the best word, to put the energy into not only figuring out how to fix it but putting any of that into practice and clearly it's not been doing me any favors, especially when it comes to the fact that i definitely want to make more / better friends with people but am ultimately struck by fear that it's kind of inevitably going to fall apart both because i'm pretty uninteresting (if enjoyable, as i am often reassured, and for that i'm appreciative) and because i find it difficult to muster the energy to try to keep up with people and often feel like i'm left in the dust but have no way to change that without sacrificing the little health and energy i happen to have that i'd obviously prefer to spend on something for Me Specifically. and i guess that's probably eye-rollingly selfish, but at the same time i don't exactly have someone to hold my hand and drag me into doing something different, i have to make myself do it. and making yourself do shit is just like. hard.

i've ultimately found that there's just some kind of fundamental disconnect with the way i interact (or rather, don't, even if i really want to) with people and what i only later really perceive as what they Want from me later on. i unfortunately take things very negatively in a way that i usually describe as just "getting scared" but it feels obvious it's a little more than that, i'm just not sure i have the ability to put it into words, but whatever it is it's in a way that makes it so i just Don't have the ability to make myself bite the bullet and take initiative and i kind of just let whatever happen happen and don't realize i'm making that decision consciously unless one of the people i'm doing it to happens to reach out to me (which they have no reason to feel inclined to do).

this has been both for relatively understandable reasons and reasons that just feel kind of ridiculous when i think about them - of course it makes sense to not want to be further misinterpreted (to put it kindly) without Knowing im being misinterpreted and therefore having no way to fix it, but at the same time just Not talking to new people or not putting myself in situations that scare me isnt the way to go about it, making friends with people who will be able to bring me up to Their level Is, but also if i can't talk to anyone new, i won't be able to find anyone that can help me make that happen. it's a vicious cycle, or whatever.

it's incredibly difficult to continuously present that i want to be spoken to if i've done something upsetting but only really prompt conversation with me in that case. that's the kind of thing that scares people out of talking to me, but i'm not quite sure what to do with it especially circling back to the whole thing about not having much energy at all, you know?

in essence, i'm aware that i'm not really... special? i don't really have anything new to offer at any point and find it difficult to follow things for very long. i'm very head-scrambly in a way that makes it hard for me to follow things even when they're what i have a personal vested interest in (like, even as i write this im jumping back and forth to start and finish paragraphs in a way that probably just makes the whole thing insanely hard to follow if anyone's made it this far). there are a million other people out there with a semi-niche interest that they'll repeat things about over and over again unprompted because they can't remember if they have or can't remember if the people they're talking to don't have any interest in it.

and i guess i've internalized that too much rather than realizing people want to talk to me for me even if i'm Boring not because of what i bring to the table but because of who i am, but if i can't bring myself to talk to them out of fear of being annoying they won't be able to Get anything out of me and then there draws miscommunication From the lack of communication in general, leading people i care about to think i don't want to talk to them for whatever reason when that's not the case (what happens is i start thinking "they don't want to talk to me, i'm pretty sure i'm just annoying them" turns into other people thinking that i think they are annoying because i don't want to talk and then nothing is done about it), but at the same time i'm just unfortunately forcing them to put in effort for something that's not necessarily going to pay off.

something recently got me thinking about the way i Communicate and if i'm like... good at it? and what i'm thinking is that maybe at some point i might have been but i just find it so draining to try to tap into the skills i know i should have to an end i know i should be trying to reach.

i like talking to people. i'm a big fan of it. but i think i'm just used to do so in a way thats just so insubstantial and brush-off-y (even if i'm not trying to be) that when i need to even do something so small as ask someone if they Want to chat i get too scared to and end up thinking that we're both better off if i don't embarrass myself by doing so, and then i dig myself into a hole of making people think i don't want to talk to them when that's not the case.

the paranoia inherent to the Mental Illness Concoction certainly doesn't help, and even though 9 times out of 10 it's not proven and is, obviously, ridiculous and unjustified, the one time in a million that it ends up being correct fools my mind into thinking i need to do more of it rather than think rationally.

i'm also, like, very well aware this comes off as distinctly pity party-ish but to that i'm just like. shrug? not really much to be done about it, especially when doing so takes both energy and courage i don't have. guy who can put in the effort to yap to the void but not to talk to people for real

[sagau-my-beloved]

I feel once venti relationship with creator got past the awkward room mate stage to the “practically sleeping in each other’s beds for more than JUST sleeping in each other’s beds” venti practically tried to get as much time woohooing under the sheets with creator as possible in that year before they both were dragged back to tyvat by albedo. That’s practically one of the reasons he says him and creator are practically married, since the whole fuck culture that exists here is nonexistent in tvat except in certain scummy places (brothels). Tho creator probably just thinks of him as fuck buddies or even bf/gf if she ever asked if he wanted to take the relationship to the next step.

'woohooing' omfg 💀

The latter part of that is something I was trying to insinuate, I really don't think casual sex and hookup culture is really thriving down there, and I especially don't think it would have been thriving when Venti was learning about the social norms of the world around him, so he probably would very heavily associate being intimate with a solid committed relationship, meanwhile titles are a bit looser around here, so if a particular form of relationship isn't specified, then it certainly isn't guaranteed, no matter what actions may or may not have been performed

Really there's so much room for miscommunication because of the potential in completely different social norms between Teyvat and our world, either in a comedy or drama sense, it's just there waiting to be utilized

But yeah Venti acting like a horny teenager, where he's just constantly in the mindset of 'Take me!' sounds pretty canon to me

And whenever they both do get back to Teyvat he'd be pretty upset about a lot of realizations, like the fact you two aren't actually in a committed relationship, and just because he makes you breakfast every morning and is super enthusiastic about being intimate with you doesn't mean you two are actually together in any way that really matters

Of course he's working on rectifying that the moment the realization hits, but sadly, since he didn't get in on it back when you two were living alone together and there wasn't actively a couple thousand people competing for your attention that you had a sense of obligation to, the best he can really hope for is consort

Though that's not going to stop him from calling himself your soulmate/spouse/lover to anyone and everyone who does and doesn't ask, as far as he's concerned, you two are completely bound together

Which also means there's going to be a pretty heavy surge of unpleasant feelings if you do have multiple consorts, and those apply tenfold if you actually treat them all the same

He's probably bitterly thought that if what you have is more comparable to an open relationship, then what exactly is stopping him from going around and sleeping with whomever he pleases? Since that's what you seem to be doing and all, with no regards to his own feelings might he add

The problem is there is no one else in the world he would prefer to have that sort of relationship with, and he probably couldn't even force himself in that position with another person if he really tried because it would feel too much like being unfaithful to you

Poor poor Venti, forever suck falling hopelessly in love with a person that hundreds of others are also hopelessly in love with

Funny little situation to end this off, but like the interaction I did with the sagau and yandere Ventis, if either regular sagau Venti or reverse isekai after they both return to Teyvat Venti met reverse isekai still in the creators world Venti... Both would tell him to never ever ever ever bring to reader to Teyvat ever and just stay there happy together because it gets so much worse

It's like the little devil/angel on the shoulder thing where the angel side would theoretically be Venti doing his due diligence to every single person in Teyvat and also you by returning you to your rightful place in your rightful position, where you would receive so many more luxuries than he could ever hope to give you himself, but both of them are just little devils and are all "If you take the creator back to Teyvat I will actually personally kill you right here for being an idiot. For the love of Barbatos (wait a minute—) don't do it!"

[crusherthedoctor]

8 16 17 25

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

The Pontaff era.

No, I'm not saying these games don't have their weakpoints. To claim I ever have would be disingenuous. But really, what makes them different from every other era in Sonic's history? If the Adventure-Black Knight games are free to be vindicated by history in spite of their own non-nitpick drawbacks, including the game that came the closest to actually killing off the franchise, then I don't see what makes these games so much more inexcusable by comparison.

The sensationalist side of the fandom's Pontaff hateboner has always felt performative, as if it's an open secret that it's the cool thing to do. '06 is declared out of bounds because too much time has passed and it's played out, yet they keep harping on a game that will soon be seven years old (Forces), a game that came out over a decade ago (Lost World), and a game that came out over 13 years ago (Colours). Even with Generations, the one that has probably fared the best reception-wise out of the lot, it's not rare to see fans unironically call it a worse anniversary game than '06.

If the Pontaff era of Sonic is not your cup of tea overall, that's fine. It's no different to my lack of enthusiasm for the current Flynn era (Superstars and Dream Team notwithstanding). But no matter how many YouTubers try to convince me with their clickbait thumbnails and their tendency to complain about dragged out jokes while making their own dragged out jokes, I will never buy into this insincere narrative that everything was consistent high times until Colours singlehandedly made the franchise drop off a cliff.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

I can't say Eggman's actual characterization because that's not exactly a tiny affair, so... Omega's portrayal when not written by Flynn/Bioware?

17. the thing in canon that everyone loves and that you also love

S3&K

The franchise's history of excellent music

The franchise's history of exploring themes that, regardless of whether the overall execution is good or bad, tend to have more nuance and thoughtfulness put into them than a lot of other, supposedly more mature IPs' interpretations of said themes

The characters we know conceptually but don't necessarily have similar viewpoints on

ShtH being filed in the comedy genre

Sonic faceplanting

25. a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom spaces

Never let anyone assert control of your own experience. You should always be the one to referee your own corner of community interaction, and although polite disagreement and healthy discourse is well and expected, you shouldn't feel the need to continue diving into discourse by virtue of obligation if it makes you miserable after seeing so many terrible takes based on illegitimate reasoning. Block certain tags if you deem it necessary.

You should also not focus on popularity, and not just because it inevitably comes at the cost of being true to yourself and what makes you satisfied. If you remain honest, and respectful, you'll find your true friends in the community soon enough, which are worth far more than a million faceless acquaintances ever will.

[ferris-the-wheel]

Uh- tw vent ig..?

I get super bad anxiety interacting with everyone (minus Lyle) because I'm always so paranoid that I'll say something that the person I'm talking to will get upset about when I didn't even mean for it to be offensive, I'm just really fucking stupid.

I have such bad attachment issues that I don't want people (my moots) to hate me and block/unfollow me for a misunderstanding, but at the same time I feel guilty for trying to get people to like me.

I'm also paranoid that people don't like me but they just act like they do so they don't hurt my feelings but if you do dislike me, please don't feel obligated to stay, it'll just make me feel worse.

I normally don't do vents or talk about how I'm feeling negatively online because it makes me feel like an attention seeker (this is also because I've been called an attention seeker for doing this irl). I also just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable in general.

I get so overly excited about being praised in any way because I was pretty much always overshadowed by my golden children younger siblings. At the same time, I feel like no one actually means any praise that they tell me and they're just saying it to be polite so I feel obligated to say something nice or be overly enthusiastic back.

I'm so unaccustomed to talking with people, even online, because no one ever really talked to me until like a year ago. I have a friend group of 5 irl people, but before that, no one ever willingly talked to me and ig now I just lack the skills to pick up on the slightest social cue besides the cues that equal "leave me alone".

.... This kinda turned into a whole long rant. Mb. This spiel could be a whole lot longer but I'll shut up now.

[fancyfade]

I got into DC recently and latched onto Talia like a baby duckling. Like even before I fully understood her as a character I was ready to fight for her honor, which is when ran into your blog on her tag.

The Talia brainrot has been really rotting my brain SO you got anything Talia related? Arcs you wish were explored. If you were put in charge of a Talia run what would it be? Outfits you saw, or made up, that you think she would rock? Do you know any other blogs that are normal (as in they know Talia's OG characterization) about Talia? HCs? Your bio says you like Star Wars, so what Star Wars character do you think she would be friends with? (I think she would be friends with Satine Kryze) Who do you think she would despise? Do you think she would be a Jedi? If so what era do you think she would thrive in? What's her favorite Shakespeare play? Do you think she would have a favorite quote from him? (I think it would be Beatrice's "I will eat his heart in the marketplace" from Much Ado. Beatrice's relationship with Hero is so personal to me and I definitely think that's the type of cousin/ older sister Talia would be). Something DC brought up once about Talia, but you think it should be explored more (WHO IS AMALA DC??? WHAT IS HER FRIENDSHIP WITH TALIA TELL ME MORE).

Oh most importantly: How do you deal with comics that completely screw her up? I'm reading Tomasi's Batman and Robin and GOD I barely get through the beginning of Vol 2, and I know there are comics that do worse with her. So I know I can't just drop comics that do a nasty job with her because then I should just quit Batfam comics in general and try some other fam and I have NO idea where to start with that and ugh.

Just anything about Talia.

Also, I know I typed a lot and if you don't want to answer some of them that is 100% fine! Or if you want to answer them in parts across different posts. I just need more with her.

hmmm so talia arcs i would like to see

well probably b/c i am just re-reading lexcorp, but i would like a more satisfying end to president lex stuff and lexcorp talia. I feel like he just kind of grabs the idiot ball, unless I am remembering the end to this saga wrong. like IIRC it was due to him being stupid in batman/superman and not any of the people trying to take him down... which is SUCH a shame b/c a story of talia teaming up with the superman characters and helping them take down lex could be so interesting. like. we saw talia feed calvin carson info to get him to go to the press about lex. we saw clark go undercover* to try to find some dirt on lex after lex covered up his crimes. lois got a lot of dirt on lex he conveniently made disappear about his involvement in OWAW . i want to see this all come together in a satisfying way!!

for star wars, I think Satele Shan (from SWTOR era) interacting with Talia could be very cool! both in I just think both characters are neat, but also for some interesting mother son parallelisms and contrasts. Talia initially wants Damian but then realizes she has to give him up to avoid him being raised in the league and to protect him from his parents possibly dying on him, Satele I don't think we see a ton of reason why she gives up Theron, but in general I viewed her as a character who did not want to be a mother, and she knew that she couldn't be theron's mother while still fulfilling all her obligations to the Jedi and fighting the sith, and that's OK (Fandom hates this). I think seeing them interact and team up to stop a bigger threat could be cool.

Also would be cool: To see Talia interacting with Imperial Agent's crew (again SWTOR :P). Talia in her lexcorp era often feels very much like she'd fit in with the vibes they are going for in that story, which is that no one really trusts anyone completely, or in many cases at all. A lot of her time in Lexcorp she has no allies and has to play all her cards very close to her chest as she's dealing w/ very dangerous people. especially if you go with defector-imperial agent (who defects in chapter 2 to... that guy who's name i forget since it's been a very long time since I played swtor IA. ardun?). B/c my understanding of defector IA (I've never played it b/c Aereinys is too mad to consider it, even tho she also hates the empire at that point) would, being a double agent appearing to work for the empire and having to pull off missions successfully for them to stay useful, routinely work against people who otherwise would be on her side, while working for people she finds morally repugnant.

For Jedi stuff I think Talia would want to be one of those chill nerdy Jedi who meditate and study. But if we go with her in canon plotlines a Jedi Shadow would work well :P

I don't read much shakespeare so I can't say much for what her favorite Shakespeare play would be. if we're going w/ Talia + literature appreciation, I can see her liking Hombre Pequeñito (link) which is admittedly a short poem and not a play but :P

For dealing with comics that completely screw her up: I honestly just write my own headcanon stuff and that's my canon now. It is helped a little by the fact that new 52 created a big break in my mental continuity, b/c they messed up so many characters I care about (Babs, Cass, Jaime), so all of DC from 2011 til now is very much "I do what I want". So there is stuff to re-write but less stuff.

I got my own fanfic (link) for how pre-Morrison Talia can meet Damian, and that's what I hang my mental canons on for them.

I do know that people who are reading Ram V's TEC run say it's got pretty good Talia, I haven't read it yet but hopefully they're getting her back on the right track.

for other blogs that are good about talia u might find some in my talia al ghul tag (link)... there are a lot of good blogs tho. @brucetalias, @immortaldino, @fluffykitty149, and @arellas are often who I think of for the Talia fans!

*for like 1 issue ;_;

[coralinnii]

Welcome to my writing blog.

Hello, I'm coralinnii :)

This is purely a passion motivated blog as I enjoyed writing in my early years and now I'm picking it back up. I'm an outdated human so I'm still figuring out tumblr so if you see an issue or have an idea for the blog, please let me know and I'll...try my best.

I'm gonna try to write as often as I can but I'm a full-time student with a part-time job and worse of all...an adult with responsibilities so sometimes life might get in the way. Hope you'll understand.

Anyway here are some rules I guess?

rules for requesting I'm currently open to requests right now. I already have some ideas in mind but I'm happy to hear some ideas. I do have my personal comforts and discomforts with writing so any requests I feel uncomfortable writing will be refused. I will respond with a post reply if I choose to turn it down so you don't have to wait if I will write it. I'm sorry but I'm setting boundaries after learning the hard way. These are my most uncomfortable asks and personal hard no's. I will not; write full on smut. I can't feel comfortable forcing myself to write smut. I might write suggestive wink wink stuff but that's if I feel it's where the story takes me. I feel weird being obligated to write weird woohoo stuff. write dark stalker and/or dangerous yandere content. It's a personal issue and I can't bring myself to imagine myself or anyone as the reader going through such an ordeal. write content that condones infidelity/ntr. I will never condone cheating on someone so, imagining the reader and the character cheating on someone as a good thing goes against my morals. I can write cheaters but they will not be the heroes.

This is not so much uncomfortable but since I’m a female and grew up being female, my writing would typically be seen through a female reader perspective purely because that’s the only perspective I know. I would try to avoid pronouns or gendered terms but some things are just ingrained pieces of experience that is gender-specific. That said, I’m not confident in writing male or AMAB reader fics right now (or ever) purely because I don’t know if I can do it justice as a female writer. This is me not wanting to overstep my boundaries when portraying the reader’s perspective. I’m also a SouthEast Asian so I’m not comfortable writing reader fics with race or ethnicity-based perspectives that is not my own because…same reasons.

rules for interacting you are free to write to me about anything. I'm happy to hear about thoughts you have about Twisted Wonderland, my writing, someone else's writing, or even about your day. I'm by no means a scary person so please chat with me :) This is side blog, so I think there’s some limitations to how I can reply but I’ll try my best! I will however not reply to comments that seems disrespectful to either me or others. I don't mind criticism or disagreements but if I sense that your comment may come from malicious thoughts, I'm not afraid to block or even report if necessary. I truly hope it will never have to come to that.

[meadowthorns]

{extremely negative under the cut. Please just ignore me.}

{I am... struggling so much with myself. I want to be better. I want to be better. But this is so hard, and I'm so tired. I don't want to complain in front of everyone. I don't want to be a burden. But I feel like I need to vent anyway. I feel like I can't trust my friends to vent to. If I do not upset them or frustrate them or anger them, I will at the very least burden them with the knowledge of my struggling. I'm in pain, and no one should have to be burdened with that knowledge, but at the same time, it's eating me from the inside out, I have to put it somewhere... I hope this goes unnoticed...}

{I want to interact with the dash more. I want to send in more things. I want to talk to more people. I want to create more stories and friendships.}

{But when I do, I feel like I always make things worse. I can't explain it, because I can never explain it in a way anyone understands, and it just makes things even worse. I can't get across what I'm trying to say no matter how many times and ways I try to say it. But I feel bad when I miss things and when I participate I feel like I've done something wrong. I feel like I accidentally upset people all the time, and every time I interact with other people I feel like they're growing less and less patient with me. I feel like every conversation becomes more and more taxing. I don't understand why people try to talk to me anyway except that maybe they feel bad for me or feel obligated for some reason. It makes me not want to come back at all. To just write the threads I have going to completion and then never post again. Fade from existence. Only speak when spoken to...}

{But I've actually tried to do that and then feel bad because I know this community runs on interaction and people don't like it when you don't interact with their posts and I feel like I have to make an effort to send things to people and like starter calls and post memes and everything else I can think of because the community will literally die if I don't and no one is going to reach out first if I never reach out first.}

{And at the end of it all I feel very inadequate both in my interaction and my not interacting and I'm wrong and failing no matter what I do. What do I have to do to make my head work right? What do I have to do to keep from upsetting people? What words are right? What's the right communication? I can't talk about my problems to anyone because they're not therapists and they can't help me and any attempt to explain myself just leads to making them feel bad for talking to me. I make people feel bad for even talking to me. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel bad no matter what I do.}

{And all this to say? To not say? I'm not going on hiatus. I'm not going to disappear. But I can't be active either. I'm stuck in this limbo of doing nothing and going nowhere.}

{I... hope my friends find better friends and leave me behind...}

[shrikeseams]

Thinking about Celegorm avenging Aredhel on Luthien got me thinking about… oh gosh. Somebody had a headcanon about Galadriel interacting with Aredhel. Them writing letters after Aredhel's marriage? Something like that. Sorry, I've forgotten who wrote it and most of the content. But it was interest to me, because...

At least to me, the Aredhel Situation only really works if nobody knows she's there. I mean. She's the daughter of the high king of the Noldor. The abduction/seduction only works in the first place because she vanished into Gondolin, and the people outside Gondolin don't know she's missing. I think this is why I don't think Turgon sent letters to his family on the outside until he shows up for the Union. If he was in touch with his dad, he would tell Fingolfin that Aredhel had gone missing, and approximately where-ish, and Fingolfin and Fingon and Aredhel's cousins would be posting rewards for information and organizing search parties. Fingon went into Angband for a cousin he was angry at, I'm pretty sure he'd spend at least a decade scouring the mountains of terror and surrounding territory for his little sister. I'm not sure they would have found her, but everybody would have raised too much of a ruckus for anyone associated with Eol to claim plausible deniability. (And abduction by an elf wouldn't have been on the list of possibilities! Realistically, the worries are that she's dead or that she's become Maedhros 2.0. And 'death' is only the first concern because Morgoth hasn't tried to ransom her.)

But see, the whole situation is extremely politically volatile and embarrassing, especially to Doriath. This isn't just a marriage scandal. This is, functionally, the same thing Celegorm did to Luthien. And this predates the Luthien Incident, so Doriath can't just throw this back on the Noldor. This is Doriath losing the moral high ground. This is Thingol's Family Wronging Finwe's Family in an extremely intimate way.

So if Eol tells Thingol, or lets Aredhel write to Galadriel... that puts everyone involved in a sticky situation. Now, I do not like Thingol, and I do not think highly of his politics, and I don't think he's altruistic at all. But I also don't think he'd be comfy with letting one of his kinsmen abduct the only daughter of the king of the people who are guarding his borders. The Noldor are his first defense against Morgoth, even if Melian is the more certain defense. At this point in the timeline he is still somewhat playing nice. He has no reason to think the situation will stay secret, and he only looks worse if he doesn't get in front of the issue. (And even if he's willing to do nothing, I feel like Melian would Take An Interest. Either way, that's not a scandal they can afford to go unmanaged if they want to keep the moral high ground.)

And if Galadriel knows.... very sincerely I think the situation becomes even more of a ticking political time bomb. Galadriel likes learning from Melian, and Doriath is safe, and the Iathrim haven't crossed her moral bottom line the way the kinslaying Noldor have. That last item? The moral bottom line? I'm pretty sure that goes violently out the window if a relative of Thingol's (and therefore presumably of Galadriel herself) has trapped her cousin in a questionable marriage and won't let her see or even write to her family. I'm not sure how that would shake out, but if Melian didn't respond to close door talks I can see her going nuclear and sending all the details to at least Finrod, and possibly Fingolfin.

Just. Politically, this is a powder keg, and if the full story was known outside Gondolin, then there are several political actors ( Fingolfin, Maedhros, possibly even Finrod if he's convinced it's for the greater good) who would use it to wring concessions out of Doriath, or as an excuse to cut any political obligations they had to Thingol. "Your cousin abducted and then murdered my daughter right under your nose" is a smaller scale than Alqualonde, but it's made powerful by the intimacy of the connections and by all the players being known in Beleriand.

[veliseraptor]

for the ship or don't ship meme: chengxian or wangxian, your choice

since I don't feel like unpacking my currently rather convoluted wangxian feelings (in a word, yikes @ myself) I'll go with chengxian which is sort of complicated because...it falls very much into my relationship feelings category of "I don't want them to, like, fuck or get married or anything, but it's so intense and important both to them and to me that it really should qualify as a ship, basically, because the distinction is pretty fine at that point."

so ultimately I'm going to answer on the basis of "ship it" because that's closer to the feeling.

What made you ship it?

Probably it was when the opening narration told me that Jiang Cheng was Wei Wuxian's sworn brother and also killed him and the, like, five seconds of interaction at the cliff's edge that had me going "oh yep here we go."

As I said immediately after my first watch: came for the gay romance stayed for the fucked up sibling relationships.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

[drags hands down face] it's such a meeeeeesss you guys and I love that about it. It's no secret around here that fucked up sibling or sibling-esque relationships are catnip to me, and the dynamic between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian is so excruciatingly painful along so many axes that I just lose my entire mind about it. The inability to communicate! The crossed wires! The incompatible priorities struggling to coexist with the emotional bond that becomes increasingly harder to sustain! The frankly agonizing state of things after Wei Wuxian comes back!

god! thinking about Them again and now I wish I had a fic in progress I could channel all these feelings into

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

While on the one hand I understand and support the desire to have the whole "Jiang Cheng got caught by the Wens because he was luring them away from Wei Wuxian" thing coming out because boy if I don't have a thing for someone's self-sacrificial gestures they didn't want anyone to know about being exposed, probably against their will (don't look too closely at that one!), I also feel like...how to put this.

So much of the dysfunction between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian comes down to this...perception of obligation and duty and who is obligated to what and where that obligation intersects with love and the anxiety about evening scales and repaying debts - for Wei Wuxian, the sense both that he needs to and also that it's not about that, the uncertainty about where exactly he resides in the family architecture, and for Jiang Cheng the need to know that peoples' love isn't an obligation they're enduring but a choice they're making.

and bringing that cycle back to life with another turn of the Yunmeng Sibling Self-Sacrifice Wheel just feels like it would...rather than helping anyone move on or heal, just make things worse. And while I'm not averse to making things worse, there's also something poignant to me about that particular sacrifice remaining something silent, unspoken, and unknown. And the choice, on Jiang Cheng's part, to make it so.

[longlivefeedback]

(1/?) Hi! I wanted to ask the mods' opinions about something that's been cooking in my mind for a while: to what extent are writers responsible for providing feedback? There are a lot of writers in my fandom who lament the lack of comments but don't stop to review or read each other's work. I understand that people are busy and that they'd rather use the time to write their own stories before inspiration leaves. so I don't blame anyone but-

Hello Anon!

There's a lot going on in your ask, so I'm going to quote back parts of your ask and respond to them individually.

to what extent are writers responsible for providing feedback?

None. Writers have zero obligation to respond or even read comments left on their fic much less read and give feedback on other works. There is no law or rule or regulation mandating anyone to provide any feedback on fanworks.

Would it be nice if they did? Sure.

Would fandom culture be better if more people interacted with each other? Maybe.

Is there any responsibility or obligation to do so? No.

Fandom runs on love. And everyone loves differently.

There are a lot of writers in my fandom who lament the lack of comments but don't stop to review or read each other's work.

Yes, that does seem greedy of them, but it could be that their "laments" are more venting. It's just a feeling that they need to get off their chest so that they can move on and do other things. Just a possible thought.

If it's the case that all the writers are sitting in a room and complaining to each other about how no one is reviewing or reading their work, then the solution is quite simple: Do a comment exchange. Everybody picks another person's work to read and comment on.

Maybe this way, the culture of complaining will turn into a culture of commenting.

I understand that people are busy and that they'd rather use the time to write their own stories before inspiration leaves. so I don't blame anyone but it feels counterproductive for writers to say they don't read while writing, don't have time to comment because they're writing, etc. since they're always writing and can allegedly never read.

Counterproductive to what? There are writers who don't read while writing because it interferes with their writing process. Maybe they feel like reading uses a different part of their brain than writing does and switching between the two is exhausting. Maybe they don't read while writing out of fear that they will be inadvertently swayed and influenced in their writing style or plot ideas. I once read Pride and Prejudice and then felt like I spoke with a British accent for the next four days. I am not British.

Point is, writing is a process and everyone's process is different. If it means not reading in order for you to write, then so be it. You don't have to be a reader, writer, or commentor to be a fan.

I don't think writers with this mindset should be obligated to provide feedback of course. I'm wondering if it plays a role in the feedback drought though, and I'm not sure if this is a problem.

I don't know.

The way you use the words "feedback drought" and "problem" indicate to me that you have an implicit expectation about feedback:

You expect a certain level of feedback and anything below that is a "feedback drought."

There should be a certain level of feedback so if this level is not met, it is a "problem."

The thing is, this is a subjective belief on your part. I love feedback and comments on my work just as much as the next writer. But I do not expect it.

I would be sad if no one commented on my work, but I am not bitter. I brace myself for the worse: i.e. zero comments, so that when it happens, I am emotionally prepared. I mitigate the need for comments by always getting a fandom friend (or as this post calls them, an enabler) to read the draft before I post and give me feedback. I try to find and focus on the joy and sense of accomplishment I get from writing as a craft, and avoid relying on it as a vessel for validation. Zero feedback is not a problem when I am not looking for it.

It just feels odd to criticize others for something they're unable/unwilling to do themselves

Yes it is odd. If they're complaining for the sake of complaining, then let them complain with an "in one ear and out the other" attitude.

If they're being hypocrites, then either call them out on it and try to influence their behaviour, or just recognize that they're being shitty and remove yourself from the negativity.

Writers. Seriously. It's hard enough to write. Why do you make it even harder for yourselves by making your happiness dependent on external responses from things you cannot control, instead of finding joy in the pure act of creating?

[red-doll-face]

Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!