#I feel like I'm forgetting some other book peeps I know and I'm sorry for that

[sasukesun]

I hope this is okay to ask. But if you don't feel comfortable talking about such a topic, you certainly don't have to. So, here it goes...

What kind of sexual experience do you think Naruto and Sasuke had in the original Naruto series (classic and shippuuden) and when/how did it start? I purposefully said "sexual experience" in general, including not only activities with others but only with one's self, too. I kinda thought about the series starting at both of them being 12yo and that's (depending on the personal development) at the start or in the middle of puberty. And it's not as if sexuality/ sexual desire /etc. isn't mentioned in the manga.

1. Naruto's sexy no jutsu didn't come out of nowhere, he must have thought about the sexy appearance of a woman beforehand, obviously, and knows exactly what effect it has on a lot of men.

2. Reactions to Naruto's sexy no jutsu from a lot of different men.

3. Jiraiya displaying his sexual desire more than openly:

- peeping on women in bathhouses

- enjoying himself in public with pretty women (when he spent all of Naruto's money on women and alcohol as they were searching for Tsunade)

- writing literal porn books

4. Kakashi reading said porn books shamelessly in public.

5. Karin always trying to seduce Sasuke in a very pushy way (she is out for more than just cuddles, that's for sure).

... and I'm probably forgetting a bunch, but you get the idea.

So, Naruto has a lot of canon occasions where he dealt with something sexual, that's why I can't imagine Naruto not being curious and trying out things on his own at some point. Sasuke on the other hand... I can't remember any situation in Naruto classic that implies him being in contact with any kind of sexual matter (did he even see Naruto's sexy no jutsu?), so I'm not sure about Sasuke having, like, a trigger or something that may give him the idea to explore himself before the time skip at least... but he's full of hormones nonetheless, therefore it may be that he just deals with the topic itself much more discreet than Naruto. BUT Sasuke liked Naruto's kiss, which could have been something that initiated thoughts/ desires in a sexual direction. And later, as I mentioned above, Karin confronted him with the topic with making him an object of her sexual desire. Yet he doesn't respond to that at all (except with rejection of course)... which doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't thinking of someone else in one way or the other... (having in mind that Naruto is the only one he likes to be physically close to - his family doesn't count for this topic).

Furthermore I don't think any of them had any experience with girls (or boys, doesn't matter) until the end of the war (and the manga itself, lol). Sasuke was occupied with his revenge/ revolution plans and trying to cut Naruto out, and Naruto himself could ever only think about Sasuke. Yet Naruto used the reverse harem no jutsu on Kaguya (this isn't talked about enough, I swear) and proved that he'd been thinking of handsome boys, obviously - he even said himself that he practiced this jutsu a lot more often than rasengan, and I highly doubt that he would do something like this without having obvious preferences for that gender in a sexual kind of way and therefore thinking about/ doing certain things.

I'm heavily interested in your opinion on this and would appreciate an answer. Sorry for my lengthy question, and thank you in advance! :)

it’s okay to ask and no need to be sorry. also no problem talking about normal sexual experiences, i only have a problem with discussing explicit graphic harassment/rape/abuse (and incest/pedophilia obviously but that counts as abuse). like- teenagers can explore their sexuality the way you’re asking when they hit puberty, it’s normal, and i know you’re asking to actually discuss it, not to get off to it. that’s an interesting question btw.

i think i agree with what you’ve said based on what you’ve brought. naruto does seem curious to explore his sexuality. he knows what men like, it does have some interest of his part though, out of all options, he chose to prank men that way. i guess this comes with research, magazines are more likely imo. he gets mad at jiraiya’s behaviour for peeping on women, so i don’t think it’s a habit of him. the only time he does that it’s after he’s trying to prove himself which is- so ironic (i don’t agree with this behaviour btw, but i also don’t think he’s some kind of pervert for it, especially for someone that didn’t have anyone to teach him and his whole model was- jiraiya… for 2 years). people really don’t talk enough about naruto finding men attractive. he finds haku pretty and sasuke good looking. he spends a lot of time practicing a jutsu with a bunch of naked men. and that doesn’t require a lot of research ig but it requires a lot of imagination and interest right? there’s also the whole “my lower abdomen is clenching in excitement” in the hospital roof scene and the “kyun”, used in hentai for sexual arousal (i’ve linked this post so many times already, it’s very long so if you just want to check what i’m talking about, you’ll find the discussion near panel in both the original post and reply). and it’s normal of closeted/repressed people to fantasise about the same gender even with internalised homophobia/biphobia… talking from experience here.

kizuna hikari is a popular fic in the fandom and i think it portrays their sexuality (both naruto and sasuke’s) accurately… as in naruto likes to masturbate and he tells sasuke it’s great and sasuke’s like so you do this often and naruto answers “all the time” lol it’s pretty light and funny and it shows that naruto has experimented by himself while sasuke hasn’t. i guess their relationships with sex was the most in character part i found of this fic.

it’s also hard to talk about sasuke because the manga is mostly written in naruto’s pov. of course we’re gonna know more about naruto, especially when sasuke is actively trying to suppress what he feels towards naruto. he has never showed interest in any women we can say for sure. he usually acts aloof when they hit on him because he’s not interested in them. he doesn’t even get why karin or sakura want so much physical contact with him. he doesn’t react to suigetsu’s weird approach… which honestly, why would he anyway? suigetsu is threatening him in that moment. but he did keep a memory of him kissing naruto, it could be related to his desire to be closer to naruto. he doesn’t like when people touch him, but he has no problem with getting really close to naruto to whisper in his ear, and that moment does have sexual tension, so i think the interest is there, kishimoto wanted to show it somehow. sexuality is also not something constant, there can be periods of low libido, people with depression, or other mental issues, can have periods with reduced libido, which could totally be sasuke’s case. i think he’s too focused on his revenge at the beginning to think of anything else, but naruto starts to get to him more and more, maybe it could have awaken something in him, but at the same time he tries to suppress it, so i really don’t know if he tried anything. i don’t think he would at orochimaru, the atmosphere there is just- and then he’s out looking for itachi, and dealing with his death after it, and with the truth about the massacre, like- he’s definitely with no other stuff on his mind during this period either.

they are totally inexperienced. sasuke really only shows interest in naruto and he’s trying to suppress it until chapter 698, and naruto, even if you think he shows mild interest in someone else, is much more interested in sasuke, i can’t see naruto looking for someone else’s company until his relationship with sasuke has a resolution, he wouldn’t be able to focus and would just start thinking of sasuke lol honestly- not even after the resolution either. both just have it really bad for the other.

[hufflepuffsthunderdome]

HOW ABOUT THIS!? the reader has a mad crush on sirius, been friends for ages, they’re friends with the mauraders too. but recently sirius is getting close with another girl, and he’s kinda forgetting about the reader... and he always takes the new girls side... she’s like too faced and blindsiding him.. reader tries to make him realise but he doesn’t listen

FLUFFY ENDING! where siri realised his mistake after he gets real mad the reader IM NOT GOOD AT WORDING IM SORRY BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Don't Say Sorry | S.B

Marauders! Sirius Black x Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, verbal fight, grabbing in an argument

A/N: I hope this was worth the year long wait that this was sitting in my inbox for 😅. I hope you like it! I'm sorry it's a bit shit, I'm still getting back into the swing of it. I loved writing this though, and of course had to start with an ask from my favourite requestor!!! (Yes I know that sounds weird lol). Hope you's enjoy!

Your favourite place to study recently has been the common room. It’s quiet at the moment, with the school term slowly starting to wind down, your classmates were finding it difficult to find the motivation to study when the days outside were getting warmer and sunnier. You find yourself feeling rather blasé about the whole thing at the moment, your attempts to throw yourself into your schoolwork are futile, your excitement to go home over break are non-existent since you’ll be staying at school, and your effort to socialise with your friends has taken a nose dive since she’s come around.

You have nothing against the girl as a person. In fact, you think there’s a possibility you could’ve been friends in another life. But recently, she’s been dragging Sirius around like the dog he’s acting like, and has been making your lives hell.

Part of you is excited for Sirius, that he had gotten himself a girl who he was so infatuated with. But infatuation is not love, and you see right through her façade.

You’re brought back to reality by disgusting slurping sounds coming from behind you, getting louder by the second. You turn around in disgust to see Sirius and Ashley, shamelessly making out on the couch in the common room. With their tongue’s down each others throats they kiss brazenly, seemingly unaware, or at least not caring, that there was another person in the common room.

You can’t even make a sound of protest, just staring at them in disgust as your brain tries to catch up with what you’re seeing. “You can close your gob now, perv,” an aggressive voice cuts through the air, Ashley looking over the couches armrest to squint at you, “didn’t take you for some peeping tom.”

“I would hardly call myself a peeping tom when you’re making out in public,” you say, turning back around to your book, “more an unwilling viewer of the world's most pathetic cry for attention.”

The sharp sounds of shoes tapping against the stone quickly come towards you as the chair you’re sitting in is forcefully pushed around the face the girl, “what did you just say?”

“Do your ears not work now either?” you smirk back, “go pash somewhere else, where you’re not a threat to people’s gag reflexes.”

Like clockwork, the lip juts out, as Ashely turns around towards Sirius to bury her face in his chest. His arms wrap around her body as she puts on the full show to him, “your friend is so mean to me, I didn’t even do anything.”

He glances up at you with an unreadable expression and looks back down at his girlfriend, whispering something in her ear that makes her cling to his shirt and giggle. He lets himself be dragged out of the common room by her, turning to give you a quick glance back as he leaves.

The second the door closes you’re once again surrounded by silence.

It's been like this for weeks now. The friendship you once had with Sirius fading quickly before your eyes the longer the pair are together. Your heart aches each time you see them, kissing in the common room, or walking through the hallways with their arms around each other. You want that. You want him. You have for a while now. The innocent crush you found yourself developing in second year has grown into something so much more over the years. As you've found yourself getting closer with the boy, you've fallen more and more in love with him.

As much as it pains you to see them together, you could survive. If you can't have him the way she has, you can live with that. You just want things back to how they were.

~~~~

Class was dragging on, even more so than usual. You were barely keeping your eyes open as Slughorn continued to talk about whatever potion it was that he was talking about. Someone behind you murmurs your name and taps you on the shoulder, slipping a piece of paper into your hand when you turn around slightly to look behind you. You take it in your fingers and go to unfold the page, when it’s suddenly grabbed off you, “I’ll be taking that thank you Ms. Y/L/N.” Slughorn takes the piece of paper to the front of the classroom, murmuring about you “misbehaving in his class, he’s giving up his precious time.”

“I suppose, Ms Y/L/N, since you think now is an appropriate time to be passing notes, you don't mind sharing it with the class then,” you go to protest, to say that it’s not yours, but he’s already opened the paper and started reading, “‘I don’t know about that Y/N, James isn’t ugly, and Lily isn’t fat, I think you’re…” Slughorn, realising what he’s reading out loud, trails off at the end of his sentence and looks at you in disappointment, “that is incredibly rude Ms Y/L/N, see me after class.”

You lift your head from where it’s looking down at your parchment, to look to your right, where Lily is sitting, looking back at you with tears in her eyes. Next to her, Remus is placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, as James, sitting across the isle from you glares daggers into you. Next to him, Sirius is looking at you with complete shock written all over his face, a look which makes your heart break as he turns away. From behind you, you hear someone laughing quietly, turning to see Ashley smirking as she twirls her quill in her fingers.

~~~~

It’s been an insanely long week, seemingly never-ending and you find yourself gunning for a quiet weekend with your friends. Finally, it comes, and Saturday rolls around. Skipping breakfast in favour of some much-needed sleep, you’re awoken to the sound of excited chatting coming from downstairs. Making your way to the common room, still in your pajamas, you see all of your friends chatting quietly, all dressed nicely in their coats, seemingly about to head out.

“Hi guys,” you mutter quietly, from your spot at the bottom of the stairs and the room goes quiet as everyone turns to face you. A few of them mutter small hi’s back, the rest just standing there awkwardly. “Are you guys going somewhere?”

“Not in particular,” Sirius says, the first one in the group to actually say something to you. You look up at him, confused as you make eye contact and he turns away.

“Oh, just going on a walk or something?”

Peter interjects, “we’re going down to Hogsme-” James cuts him off with a sharp jab to the side and the group falls silent again.

“Oh really? Cool,” you mumble back awkwardly, “say, if you give me a second I can go get some clothes on real quick and I-”

“Actually we were hoping to leave now,” Sirius says, looking down at a nodding Ashley who’s clinging onto his arm.

You stare at them all in disbelief, eyes glancing around the room to all of your friends, none of whom meet your eyes except Sirius. He stares back at you with an intense glare, and your heart catches in your throat as you look back at him.

“If you guys don’t want me to come then just say so.”

“We don’t want you to come.” Sirius has now let go of Ashley and has stepped forward towards the stairs, as the rest of your friends gasp at what he said, “do you honestly think we’d want you to come after everything you’ve been doing?”

You look back at him, your shoulders sagging as he steps up to you, “I don’t know what-”

“Don’t play coy Y/N. That note about James and Lily, talking shit about all of us behind our backs, bullying Ashely, you’re turning into a right bitch Y/L/N.”

“Are you actually kidding right now? I didn’t do any of that and you know it! Stop being delusional Sirius,” you say back, hearing the blood pounding in your ears as you step up to him, “stop being so stupid and letting that bitch you call a girlfriend walk all over you.”

“Don’t call her a bitch,” he yells back.

You scoff at him, “why are you defending her, she’s been ruining everything. She’s the one that took Marlene's necklace the other week, and she made Peter cry the other day. She’s been talking shit about all of you and is now making me look like the bad guy.”

“Stop it Y/N.”

“You know what, whatever, cause you, Black, you are 10 times worse than she will ever be. You’ve turned into a right self-obsessed wanker you know? I can’t even stand to look at you let alone know you anymore you-”

“Just shut up Y/N,” he screams back, reaching out and grabbing onto your arm in anger. You wince and go to grab him, prying his forceful grip off of you and stumbling up the stairs. You look down at him with tears welling up in your eyes, your friends behind him looking at the two of you in shock horror as Ashley walks up to him.

“Let’s go, babe, she’s not worth it.”

They leave the common room together, your other friends staying stuck in place, and you turn back up to your room before any of them have the chance to say anything.

~~~~

It’s been weeks since your fight with Sirius, and things are almost returning to normal. Sirius is still hanging around Ashley like a lost puppy and is pulling away from your group of friends more and more. You are too, though more by choice now. Your friends have mostly forgiven you, half of them even taking your side in all of this after you all talked about it, but you can’t bring yourself to hang out with them at the moment.

You spend a lot of your time in the library, sitting alone and reading, or up in your dorm, coming out for classes and the occasional meal, and to say your friends are worried is an understatement.

You know that Sirius still hangs out with the group on occasion, sometimes alone, but mostly with Ashely there too, and you make sure to stay far away from them on those days. It makes it hard to share classes and be in the same house, but it seems neither of you are too keen on talking to each other at the moment.

It’s officially the end of term, with the last class of the week drawing to a close, and everyone getting ready to leave over the next few days. James, being James, decided to tell some people to pop by the Gryffindor common room tonight, for a little going away party, as was to be expected. You knew that Sirius was going to be there, when there was a party involved Sirius would always be there - which meant you would not be.

At this point, all you wanted to do was sleep the holiday break away, and hope that everything would return to normal next term, but you couldn’t possibly do that with the party that was bound to get out of hand. Armed with your thickest coat and a novel, you snuck downstairs, well before the party was set to start, and made your way out of the common room, undetected by your mates, who you knew would object to your absence.

Making your way through the halls and towards the courtyard, you couldn’t help the tears beginning to well up in your eyes. Just months ago you and Sirius would’ve been running through the halls together, laughing at whatever chaos you two could get up to, but now everything was shit. Sirius’s girlfriend is a bitch, half your friends are mad at you, the other half are mad at Sirius, and the boy won't even look at you anymore. In spite of that, you can’t help the way your heart flutters at the thought of him. Even through all of this, through your friendship falling apart before your eyes, you can’t help but like him.

The tears begin to fall slightly as you sit down beneath a tree to read your book, and you quickly wipe your face to stop anymore falling and start reading hoping to take your mind off it. And it does.

For a while you’re able to read your book, rather passively, not really absorbing any of it, but not thinking about Sirius either so you keep scanning the pages.

That doesn’t last long though, as you hear footsteps approaching you from across the courtyard, and without even looking up you know that someone up there is playing a cruel trick on you as Sirius stops in front of you.

You keep your eyes locked on your book and see his boots shuffling in the dirt slightly as he stands there awkwardly. You won't give him the satisfaction of acknowledging him.

Eventually, he cuts the tension, “can I sit here?”

“No.”

He plonks down roughly next to you anyway, keeping a decent amount of space between the two of you, “don’t be like that.”

“I said no.”

He just sighs as he shuffles around in his sitting position, “I just want to talk.” The sound of his voice, breaking slightly as though he might cry, makes you look up at him. He’s sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. Your once confident, loud best friend, has been reduced to an anxious, insecure boy before you. You’ve never seen him like this before.

“What about?” you mumble quietly, closing your book and putting it beside you, turning away from Sirius to look at the school building before you.

“Everything.”

There’s a moment of silence between you two, the air is heavy and tense. “I’m sorry,” you say quietly, turning completely away from the boy as you feel the tears start to fall from your eyes.

Even without facing him, you can tell Sirius is shocked, you can hear him opening and closing his mouth a few times before he inches closer to you. He reaches out to place a hand on you, you can feel it hovering there for a few seconds before you hear him lower it again and instead groan in frustration.

“Fuck don’t say that,” he all but growls, more to himself than you, you think, but you turn back to him anyway. He has his head between his knees, his hands gripping tightly at his hair as he tries to find his next words. “Please don’t be sorry, I’m sorry Y/N. You didn’t do anything, please don’t say sorry.”

“I’m sorry I called her a bitch, and-and that I-I called you a wanker,” you say in between harsh gasps for air and loud sobs.

“Oh no, Y/N, please don’t cry, I -,” he reaches out again to touch you, but hesitates, “can I hug you?”

You nod your head softly, and all but whimper as he pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back softly as you sob into his shirt. He rocks you gently as you cry, not saying anything, just being there, and you slowly calm down.

“I’m sorry I made you cry,” he stops moving and pulls away from you slightly to look into your eyes, “and that I’ve been so awful to you.”

“Sirius it’s n-”

“Please Y/N,” he cuts you off, “let me say this.”

You nod feebly and meet his gaze.

“I’ve been so awful to you recently, it’s not ok, I know that it’s not ok. I am so sorry for everything. I- it’s just - it’s been hard trying to navigate all these emotions at the moment. For so long I wanted you, you were all I could think about some days, and I knew I just couldn’t have you. And then Ashley came along and I thought it would magically fix itself you know? I thought I could just forget about you, but I didn’t. If anything it made it worse. I would look at Ashely and just wish that everything about her was as perfect as you, and it never was. And I was so angry at myself for it. For liking you, and for not being able to move on. For not being honest with Ashely. For trying to convince myself I was happy with her, when I knew I wasn’t.”

You stare up at Sirius in shock, unsure of what to say. He looks at you and takes your hand gently in his.

“Ashley broke up with me the other day, she said she couldn’t be with someone who was in love with another girl,” he chuckles slightly as he runs his thumb over your knuckles, “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting, and for how she was to you- and for letting her treat you that way. It’s true though Y/N, I’m so in love with you that I don’t know how to handle it.”

He looks at you, slight hope glimmering in his eyes.

“Sirius, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he pulls you in again for another hug, “I just had to tell you. I need you in my life Y/N. I just want us to be ok again.”

“I love you too.”

He pulls away from you quickly, with the biggest grin plastered across his face, “you what?”

“I love you,” you giggle back, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

He gets up off the ground, taking you with him in his arms and spinning you both around as he audibly cheers, “you love me? Merlin, you love me!?” He stops spinning and places you back on the ground as you both laugh and cling to each other.

You look up at him as your laughter fades, stand on your toes slightly, and lean in towards him. He places his hands on your hips softly and holds you in place, looking down at your blushing, defeated face.

“I want to do this properly, Y/N. I want to prove to you how much I love you. I’ll write you all break, and I’ll take you somewhere nice next term, ask you all officially and that.” You giggle at him, your heart racing at how cute he is, and look up at him sheepishly.

“That sounds lovely Sirius,” you reach up and loop your arms around his neck pulling him down slightly towards you, “I think we’ve both waited long enough for you to kiss me though.”

That signature smirk appears on his face again, and with a soft chuckle, he mumbles a small “if you insist,” before pressing his lips to yours.

All the doubt that’s been plaguing your mind. All the worry of your friends, of school, of Ashley, fade from your mind, as all you can think about is being in the arms of the boy you love, with his lips pressed against yours.

[froggy-frogz]

Can u do some sea hawk x male reader nsfw and saw headcanons??

A/N: Sorry for how long it took me to do this, not going to lie, was a little nervous because I haven't written NSFW yet despite writing for years, so bear with me as I learn how to write NSFW lmao. Anywaysss, I promise I'm not dead, and I hope you enjoy!

Please keep in mind that this is SFW and NSFW! If you're 17 or below pls do not read- Ty!

SFW:

Sea Hawk is the most supportive boyfriend. Literally husband material. If you need anything? You'll get it. Need to be somewhere? He's going to take you there. Want to get away from meetings with the rest of the gang? Sea Hawk will come up with excuses to get the two of you alone.

He's not used to dating, so he's going to be super clingy when you start dating. He doesn't really get the term "personal space". In his mind, his is now yours, and vice versa. You go anywhere? Well, he's going to be right there.

This means you're going to have to set some boundaries. Sea Hawk doesn't mind though, he rather not make you uncomfortable.

He seems like a person who's a little spacey, and would forget a lot of things, but with you? Complete 180. Remembers your birthdate, favorite food, favorite places in all of Etheria, and all the books you love. It's a little scary. He scared Mermista after she accidentally brought up how she read the same book series as you.

Sea Hawk loves adventuring with you. Brings you along every time. Though he loves sailing with you the most.

He also jokes around that he'd rename his ship after you. He doesn't, but sometimes it really seems like he'd be down for it. He knew that he'd feel awful if anything would happen to the ship if he named it after you.

He frequently asks the others for ideas for dates, gift ideas, or just relationship advice. He's nervous sometimes. He gets teased because of this but Sea Hawk doesn't really care.

Loves playing with your hair. If you have short hair, he'll mess with it, rolling his hands through your short locks. It's soothing for him. He's a bit touchy-feely. He's also going to want to decorate it. Good luck cleaning all the little bits of decor that he adds out.

If you have longer hair, he's going to want to braid it. He'll comment that it makes you look badass.

Honestly compliments the shit out of you, and on anything too. Could be the shoes you wear, he'll find something to say.

NSFW:

Praise kink. I think we should all know that by looking at him. Doesn't care if you're topping or not, please shower him with praise. He lives for it, and lives to hear it from your lips.

He's also a soft switch. He's a bottom for some people, top for others. It just depends on who he's with and what he's feeling. Or how you're feeling.

If he's topping, he's going to be so gentle. Like not-wanting-to-break-you gentle. Not that's bad, he just wants to treat you with all

He will definitely want to fuck you in his boat. It feels a lot more personal and safe for him. That and no one will be able to hear you two.

Not too keen on leaving marks on your body but will let you go nuts on him. Bite him, scratch him, he does not care. He thinks it cute to be covered in marks that you gave him.

If he's bottoming, this man will be HELLA vocal. Peep the boat hc above. Probably will be using his boat more than not when you two sneak away for some fun.

He also loves his hair being pulled, not too tight though, as he would hate to be losing any of his precious hair.

When he cums though? It's such a pretty sight. He lets out the prettiest moans, not like, fake pornstar moans, but just the breathiest moans.

He also cums a lot too, and probably wouldn't mind cumming inside or outside. Definitely prefers outside though, so he can see what a mess he made.

He's also going to be a bit goofier, making little jokes or snorting if either of your bodies makes a funny noise. He really can't help it.

Aftercare GOD. He will not leave your side until you have everything you want. A shower? Towel? For him to go and grab food? He's on it.

He will want to cuddle after, not wanting to have to leave you just yet.

[mrsseverussnape]

Hi! I'm sorry I just saw that request somewhere else and thought it was cute. Can I try again?

Can I suggest Alan x Reader and it's the first time they met each other at a Set or something and Alan really liked them but can't talk to them because they're both so busy so he tries to find out who they are and to get known to them? Then they go on a date and click immediately? :)

Fingers crossed! -💚

A/N: hello! Darling don’t be sorry🌸. It was on me, i just couldn’t think Alan like that. The fanfiction turned out little bit different than your request while i was writing it but i think it’s still cute so hopefully you’ll enjoy it💖

The timeline is early 90s.

Lucky Coincidence

You were on your way to your work in early hours, you liked to get out of your home early and walked to the museum where you worked. You have moved to Athens 2 years ago and from the very start you have fallen in love with the city. Especially the early mornings were your favourite, you loved to walk under the tangerine trees while the birds sang their sweet songs. But when you arrived in the museum, your dream-like moment immediately ended. 3 big trucks were parked in front of the museum door and they were blocking the road for the passengers but you showed your museum employee ID and rushed to the museum to see what’s going on. One of your co-workers saw you and your confused expression so she called out for you.

“Hey Y/N!”

You quickly walked up to her passing some people you don’t know. “Hi Eleni! What’s going on here?”

“They are going to shoot a movie here, for Hollywood! The museum made the arrangement last week when you were in your holidays.” Eleni explained excitedly but you weren’t very pleasant to hear this at all.

“So what are we going to do? Also they shouldn’t shoot a movie here, in a museum! They might damage the artifacts!”

“They will be here just for a week and they won’t use and flashes that cause a damage to the artifacts. And what you are going to do is you will give information about couple of sculptures to the actor, the boss wanted you to do this job.”

You sighed in annoyance, nobody has told you anything and now on the work day you found out that they are shooting a movie and you have to help them. “Thanks Eleni, I better see the boss. See you later!”

You made your way to the boss’ office and knocked on the door, you could hear some muffled voices coming from his room. Soon you heard him saying “come in”, when you entered the room you saw 3 more people beside your boss and one of them looked familiar, you have seen him in couple of movies; Alan Rickman.

“Good morning, miss Y/L/N. I was waiting for you. Have a seat please.”

You did as you’re told while greeting him back. He gave you a brief about what is going on and explained your job.

“Meet Mr. Rickman, you are going to help him about the sculptures.”

You were trying hard to hide your grin, maybe that movie thing wasn’t so bad overall. The actor smiled at you softly while holding his hand out for a handshake. You didn’t make him wait for long and shook his hand, you must admitted to yourself his hands were so soft and felt good on your skin.

“Since we met, when do you want to start studying about some sculptures, Mr. Rickman?”

“Now?”

“Alright! Then please follow me. Good day gentlemen.” You said rest of the men while leaving the room with Alan.

“So you are going to portray a history professor?” You started a small chat on your way to the first sculpture.

“Apparently.” Alan smiled softly, his hazel eyes were fixed on you. He wasn’t expecting to have such a beautiful young woman like you as his tutor.

“We need historians who looks like you, then maybe people will be more interested in it.” You blushed like crazy after realizing what you just said. Alan smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I think you can lure people into history too with your pretty face, Miss Y/L/N.”

You bit your bottom lip while peeping to his way.

“Th-that is the first sculpture.” You mumbled while pointing the Aphrodite, Pan and Eros sculpture in front of you, still flushed by his words. He moved closer to you when you started to talk about the sculpture. Alan took a notebook out of his pocket and took some notes. You two walked around the archaeology museum, stopped time to time and you gave him some information about the meritorious artifacts. Alan was amazed by your knowledge but mostly by you. But your little study session cut by a worker who called Alan, saying he needs to get dressed for the shoot. Alan sighed and nodded at the worker.

“I must go… Thank you for your time, it has been a splendid lesson.”

“I am glad you enjoyed Mr. Rickman. See you tomorrow.” You have taken one step away from him when you heard him.

“Alan, call me Alan.”

Your lips formed a smile, turned your head to see him. “Y/N, just call me Y/N.”

 ~~~~

It has been 6 days since they started to shoot the movie and also 6 days you started to give Alan short history classes for his role. You and him kind of grew closer with each day, enjoyed each other’s companies but both of you were real busy with your real jobs beside that sessions, the longest time you two spent together was only 50 minutes. Tomorrow was their last day in Athens for the shooting and the director sent a message to you with a young boy; saying you don’t need to come tomorrow for your study session with Alan because plans have changed and they will be flying back to UK in the early morning. You knew this will last long only a week but your heart broke after hearing this out loud. You have enjoyed your time with Alan more than you wanted to admit, your little study sessions have became your favourite part of your day. And if you knew today was your last day with him, you could have done something special or at least you could say him a good bye. Your mood changed in a bad way after this news and you closed yourself in your room until end of your working hour.

While you were making your way out of the museum, you looked around to see Alan but he was nowhere to be seen. You didn’t want this to end like this, you walked over to his van hoping you might find him there but after couple of knocks you had to accept the fact he wasn’t there either. You were about to leave but then an idea came to your mind. You ripped a page from your notebook and wrote your name and phone number then did slide it under the door.

You were chilling on the sofa with a book when your phone rang. You literally jumped up and run to it, hoping it’s Alan.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” the thick voice ensured you, it was Alan. You jumped slightly out of excitement.

“Yes, it is me.”

“I didn’t know about change of the plans this morning, I would say goodbye to you if I knew…”

You sense the sadness in his voice and it broke your heart, you stayed silent since you had a lump in your throat. Alan continued after a while.

“I know it is quite late but… Can I see you, Y/N?”

“Yes!” you have sounded very excited but you didn’t care about it at all. “I’ll be in front of the hotel in 20 minutes.”

“I will be waiting for you.”

As you have said you arrived the hotel he has been staying in 20 minutes, you saw him there by the door and walking back and forth.

“Alan!”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to your way immediately. “Y/N! Thank you for coming that late, you must be tired…”

You rubbed his arm gently and smiled up at the tall man. “I wanted to see you too, Alan. I was hoping you’d call…” you bit your lip shyly end of your sentence.

“There is not much to do at that hour, so you want to walk and talk?”

“Sounds good to me.”  

You two started to walk on the streets of Athens while talking about everything and nothing. It didn’t take long for you to notice that you two have so much in common. You haven’t talked about anything but the sculptures during your sessions so this surprised you both. You couldn’t help but think if you could meet with him another time, everything could have been different in a better way.

“I quote Plato; ‘According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.’”

“I have never heard it before, this is very interesting.”

You stopped and looked at him in the eyes.

“I feel like you are my other half, Alan... I know it is very early to say this but i just feel like it, y’know.”

His eyes grew in surprise for a second but soon his expression turned into a loving one, his hands found yours.

“I must agree with you, Y/N.” He looked deep in your eyes and leaned closer slowly. Your heart was beating so fast, you thought it might just run away from your body. Alan stopped when your noses touch each other.

“May i kiss you?” He whispered with his husky voice which sent shivers down your spine with anticipation. You nodded eagerly, he chuckled at you before pressing his lips onto your soft ones. It was a gentle kiss but you have never felt that good in your life. Your hand moved to his head, pulled his honey coloured hair gently which caused him to moan into the kiss. You pulled away smirking at him.

“Our lips fit so well too, we are totally soulmates.” You rested your hands on his chest smiling cutely at him.

“No doubt.” Alan kissed your forehead. “I will come back to you whenever i can...”

You sighed, you were back to reality from your dream state. “Don’t forget me...”

“I will never Y/N. How could i forget my other half anyways?” He pulled you in for a hug, you felt so safe in his warm presence and rested your head on his chest. The moon and the starts were shining above you in the darkness of the night while the tangerine flowers’ scent filled your nostrils and you were in the arms of a dreamful man. You couldn’t ask for a better night.

[the-second-tonks]

Why me? | P.P

It's a long Fic

Warnings : Loads of warning . Blood , illness , depression , cuts , self harm , minor and major character death . Heavy angst , take it to the heart and you'll feel it hehe. English is not my first language .

Summary : Y/N Y/L/N , a simple girl with a boring life . Peter Parker , a loveless life with a duty . When they both meet , they teach other a life lesson , love. A painful journey of two teenagers who run away from love only to fall for it at the wrong time .

Pairing : Peter Parker x fem!reader , Peter Parker x MJ x Ned Leeds (platonic) , Y/n x OC

"I guess that's it for today" Peter spoke it to himself , slightly hissing due to the bleeding cut on his right abs .

He moved a bit ahead , his left hand still holding the thin , strong rod on the cupola . He aimed his web shooter at the nearest building , ready to swing after the break . Leaping of the small support his legs had , a yelp left his throat as a sharp and stinging pain overtook him . His hands gave up and he fell down to the balcony of the house on who's roof he was laying peacefully . Stunned by the balcony decoration which consisted of beautiful plants and two chairs with a table , he kept looking around until he decided to face the people whom he might've woken up due to the fall . Looking straight , he froze . His eyes were glued to the figure . She was a pretty girl , baggy clothes . She was talking- no , yelling at someone on a phone call . Her eyebrows scrunched together , making her face look cuter than it was . Her H/C hair coming right in front of her face , only for her hand to push it back roughly . Even though the room that she was in was dull , he could see each and every feature of that girl's face under the moonlight . The white light from the celestial body only made her look more angelic to Peter's eyes . He stood agape . As much as he wanted to go , he couldn't . Y/n's sight made him forget about the pain , the stress of his homework and gave him a burst of happiness . He couldn't take his eyes of her. The only barrier between him and her was the glass sliding , which was closed . He kept staring at her dreamily until her E/C eyes met his . A short gasp left y/n's throat and her body was ready to take the defensive stance , but her mind took in the costume and made her relax , because she knew it was Spider-Man . She slowly walked over to the window and opened it , incase the friendly neighborhood Spiderman was in search of something , or someone . The phone was still in her hand , and her friend was still crying over how her boyfriend refused to eat her handmade fruitcake which caused her to break up with him . She and Peter couldn't literally hear her wailing and so , she spoke silently , barely touching the phone to her ear .

"Christy- yes you are actually being unreasonable, I'll call you later , okay.? Bye" she quickly hung up the phone and smiled at Peter , who stood front of her .

He smiled back and confidently entered her room as she sided . "Nice room , ma'am ." Peter complemented .

The room was pretty neat , not much furnished . It had a bed , a study table which had a book laying on it , open and a lamp .

Y/n smiled again, and spoke "Hello . Thank you Spider-Man . So.. do you need something ? Like shall I bring you food or some water maybe ? I also have a first aid kit if you need . And , there's a room right beside mine if you need your privacy-"

Before y/n could continue to go on , Peter spoke sweetly "Just an aid-kit please . And thank you for your care . Also , I'd really like to use the room . Thank you ma'am . I hope I'm not giving you trouble ".

Y/n simply dismissed his doubt by saying and smiling with the cute face "Not even a bit Spider-Man ."

Maybe he'd visit it back tomorrow .

Peter smiled at that . Yes , he smiled , after so many months , after he lost May , the girl made him smile . He walked across the room as y/n directed him to . He and y/n reached the cupboard , y/n scrambling through the drawers while Peter kept glancing at her , using the black patches on his eyes as an advantage . Soon (as if it was kept out for daily use), y/n found a plastic rectangular box . She handed it to Peter and closed her cupboard .

Peter quickly opened the box , only to drop a few medicines "Oh , I'm so sorry ma'am . I'll pick them up for you" Peter apologized , but y/n stopped him from bending .

"Spiderman , your cut . It'll hurt . I'll take it " y/n spoke , smiling at him .

His heart melt at the smile , but he composed himself and nodded . Glancing at the medicine , he tried reading the name but decided not to do it , because it wasn't correct to peep in . Y/n was quick in picking up the brown packet medicines . Peter smiled a bit , curious about what the medicines were for but walked out to the other room for privacy . The roon was similar to the girl's room , non - furnished , with a balcony . But he room was completely empty yet clean , the same case with the balcony . He removed his mask , breathing a sigh of relief , walking over to the balcony to relax before tending himself . He looked behind at the door which he had closed and thought about the girl for second , than he came in to the room and began treating his cut , often scrunching his face , biting his lip and leaving small grunts here and there . When he was done , he threw the bloodied cotton in one of the spare bags that were in the box . He found the dustbin in the passageway , as if she kept it there for him . Throwing the spare bag , he noticed the dustbin had a few spare bags in already , but he decided to ignore it . He quickly returned back to the room to return the box and thank the kind girl . He also wanted to ask her name , but she was already asleep . Peter smiled , adoring the girl who was clutching on her blanket . He walked over to the table silently and kept the box , only to notice the girl's math homework was incomplete . The book had no name , no school name or anything that could give him come information about her , but still , the book and the pen on it gave him her vibes . He smiled at the silly mistakes she had done , but loved her beautiful handwriting . He noticed the way she had doodled the book which indicated she didn't like math that much . Easily sacrificing the time that he had saved for his homework , he completed y/n's work in ten minutes and flew out of the house .

The whole day , Peter could think nothing else except the girl . He couldn't help but notice the improvements in himself . He'd forgotten how to love , smile , laugh and even live . He ran away from love because he thought everyone he loves , dies . His friends were happy for him too . He smiled at his luck when the homework he didn't do got an extension , he felt as if the universe was happy with him . He wondered a lot about her . If she studied in his school , if she was in a different school , if she lived alone or had someone , if she was of his age , if her name was Alice or the infinite number of possibilities Peter's brain gave him. Peter couldn't help but be excited for his patrolling today , after so many months . He wanted an injury to go back to her house , to see her , to hear her angelic voice and to bring a smile on her face . Peter truly knew that the girl was a blessing for him . A blessing that he wanted God to always give him , forever .

For Peter , the night was too slow to come . He leaped out of his house , his homework already done so that he could be relaxed while spending time with the girl . The whole time while patrolling , his mind wandered off to her thoughts . But to his disdain , as much as he tried to get himself hurt , he couldn't . He just couldn't . No one did that to him . He was mad at the fact that he was completely alright , but he wanted to visit the girl . He didn't want to appear creepy if the girl caught him sneaking and looking at her , so, he decided to act a fake wrist injury thing .

"Ahh !" Peter dramatically shouted as he purposely fell down on her balcony .

Y/n was quick to jolt her head from her homework . She coughed a bit , steadied her breathing and walk towards the window . She quickly opened the window and let the injured man in . Peter realised how good he was in acting .

"Oh-ah" Peter faked hissed as she made him sit on her bed .

"What happened ?" She spoke normally , not panicking.

"Wrist.. sprain" Peter took immense pain in speaking it , showing how much in pain he was . Y/n quickly positioned herself to look at his wrist and touch it . Now , while she was checking his hand out , Peter went into daydream mode . He kept staring at the girl in front of him lovingly , thanking his mask which successfully hid his loopy smile .

"Mm.. Spiderman , I also wanted to thank you for doing my homework . You're really so kind " she spoke- snapped Peter out of his daze when she said so .

Peter smiled , continuing to stare as the girl checked his wrist by rotating it with gentleness .

"It's alright" Peter spoke softly .

The moonlight was shinning , brighter than yesterday and the room was lit . She was doing her homework or something on the study table is what Peter noticed when he looked around .

"By the way , I'm y/n y/l/n " she spoke , smiling at Peter as she slowly moved aside and sat beside Peter .

"Beautiful name.." Peter whispered .

"Uh..hehe , thank you" she replied rather awkwardly .

They spent the night just like that , smiling and talking , occasionally just staring at each other .

At the end , while peter was lying on his bed , his mind kept thinking about the mysterious answers y/n had given . "My parents don't live with me . I'll be shocked if they care" .. "It's just me and me .. no one else . Just a simple girl ." .. "It's good to have someone to talk with , especially if it's you" .. "you know , you can enter when you want to , but please don't make surprise visits , it makes my heart jump ." .. "yeah , really . I fell into the puddle instead of my friend . I don't get it why it's always me , everytime and in everything" .. "i don't exactly study , but I don't exactly work too" .. he also took notice of how she would cough and take deep breaths regularly during their talk . All the thoughts and tiredness poured in ,lulling Peter into sleep .

Finally , it was time for Peter to leave . "Okay y/n , you're sleepy too . I should really go now" Peter spoke , a small side of him hoping she'll stop her like she had done thrice in the past hours .

"If you wish to ... Also , you can keep the Star Wars The Black Series Darth Vader Force FX Lightsaber , it's a gift from me to the person behind your mask, Spiderman" y/n smiled .

Peter just stood there , mouth agape . It was the costliest thing he'd ever wished for , and she was giving it to him as if she was sharing the homework .

"N-no y/n , ofcourse not . I-i mean , you-u yourself like Star wars , keep it for yourself!" Peter tried to reason .

Y/n coughed a bit and spoke in a rough voice "Keep it . It's okay , I don't need it . I'm going to give it to someone someday . And today is that day , you're that someone" she explained .

Slowly getting up while coughing again , she picked up the big box on the bed which she had removed from the cupboard .

"No y/n , really-" before Peter could complete his denial , y/n forcefully kept it in his hands and spoke "Keep it . Please" the desperation , plead and demand in her voice made Peter feel a shiver down his spine .

He was really curious about the girl now . He nodded a bit and took the gift hesitatingly .

But y/n , as soon as she heard Peter leaving , she cried . Hard and harder . She knew she shouldn't , it could cause her problems but she didn't care . Soon , her lungs felt the shortness for breath , quickly getting up before the problem would worsen , she used the pump to help herself . Knowing that she could talk to the only friend and doctor who treated her condition , she called her and began talking for an appointment.

Days went by and nights came . So did Peter , to y/N's house . He regularly visited her , everyday , same time . They grew close all the way and Peter's feelings were at their peak . He knew it was tough to handle them , but he had too . Today night too , as usual Peter entered y/n's room , the window was open , as it is daily . He looked around and saw her sitting on her bed , the book about physics that Peter had lent her from the library was in her hand . She smiled at Peter , but the smile had something else in it . A feeling , a truth , but Peter couldn't recognise it . He smiled back , but it wasn't good . He didn't feel cheerful . He felt .. a strong feeling . The air felt thick , despite its lightness . It felt as if the relationship and comfort between the two of them had taken another step . The final step . Love .

"Y/n " Peter want it to go out cheerful , but it came out to be quite like a calm whisper .

They both felt the tension but y/n decided to stay strong

Just one night more . Okay , maybe two or three , or even months ..but I have to stay strong was what y/ n kept chanting in her head.

They spent that night in the balcony , y/N's head resting on Peter's shoulder "Spidey- stop laughing-" y/n spoke this , breaking in a fit of giggles herself .

"But it is funny ! Oh god , how in the world did you prank her like this" Peter appreciated y/n's pranking skills .

"Spidey , do you know why some things happen with some people only?" Y/n asked after a few minutes of silence.

Peter squinted his eyes at the question which was filled with an emotion he couldn't quite point at . "Why do you ask?" Peter replied.

"Just like that" she answered back .

Peter looked down at her , and his love for her just went out of control . She looked like a goddess on earth , sent for him . He knew that at this moment , he was really seeing the girl like y/n as the ideal woman he would like to start a family with . Y/n looked up into his eyes and then , the tension between them took a high rise . It was took much to ignore . Y/N's heart was hammering in her chest .

She knew it wasn't good , the hammering would damage her condition , but she wanted to kiss spiderman , to tell him that you loved the person behind the mask , y/n forgot everything and let it flow , a doubt still lingering in her mind though . Surprising himself , Peter let his eyes wander down to her rosy lips and back to her eyes , asking her if he was allowed to . In the flow of events , y/n betrayed her determination of not letting emotions flow out and leaned in . Peter leaned in too , feeling y/N's hand lifting his mask up to his lips . They were close , so close but before the magic could happen , y/n felt a big pain in her chest , she took a sharp breath in . Immediately , her mind reminded her about why she wanted to avoid doing this and she pulled back , awkwardly getting up .

"You should leave , Spiderman . Take care" she went inside and closed the sliding transparent door right on his face .

She put on the curtains and disappeared from Peter's view , who couldn't contemplate a thing . Feeling sad , he decided to leave .

Peter kept wondering about her the whole day , as usual , but he was sad . He particularly concentrated on yesterday's part and how she refused to kiss him , not directly , but she did get up and leave . Peter was helped by MJ , who told him to reveal his identity and then kiss her .

"She might've stopped because you're a superhero and she's just a simple girl . She must've stopped so as to not break her heart , she needs a face reveal Peter " MJ spoke , now continuing with her homework . Peter nodded , getting ready for the biggest night in his life .

It was the next day after Spiderman tried kissing her . Y/n was outside of Christy's clinic , entering in as she felt the disease going worse minute by minute . Clutching the paper tightly to be stable , she glanced at the application that was given to her a year ago , when she was diagnosed with RCM (Restrictive Cardiomyopathy) . A condition in which the chambers of the heart become stiff over time. Though the heart is able to squeeze well, it's not able to relax between beats normally. This makes it harder for the heart to fill with blood , eventually resulting in heart failure . She didn't know when she would die , she didn't know . She was also being cured , but she knew she wouldn't make it . One of the rarest heart disease had no cure . Though Christy kept telling her that she was making slow progresses , she could read the guilt of lying in her eyes . Slowly pushing open the door of the quiet clinic , she simply made her way to the cabin . Entering the AC room , she smiled at Christy , who smiled back and asked her to sit .

"Did you patch up with your boyfriend?" Y/n joked .

Christy laughed and replied "Yep dear . I'm so sorry. You had called me up for an appointment and there I was , beginning to rant .. So , how have you been ?" Christy asked , giving her full attention to y/n .

"I feel like it's going worse . Shortness of breath has been very frequent lately-"

Before y/n could continue , Christy raised her eyebrows and spoke "Did you cry hard or do some hard-core exercise?" .

Y/n nodded a bit and spoke "the former."

Christy smiled sympathetically and spoke "it's alright ! You're really doing well , you might even mak-"

Y/n clicked her tongue and informed her "it's not that Christy .... My whole life , I kept running away from love , I kept ignoring my friends who loved me , never dated anyone only to realise that I had much time and I wasted it in hopelessness. And now , when I'm in love , I don't have time .. I fell for someone but I..I know I won't be there for him when he'll need me. He told me about his uncle , aunt and parents and how he feared to loose his loved ones , if he'll loose me too , it's gonna make him believe that all his loved ones die , which isn't true .. I don't know what to do , as much as I wanna experience the love I have for him in my limited life , I can't , i- .."

Y/n's eyes filled with tears at the unfairness of life , and she let out a small broken laugh "why me?" .

Christy controlled herself and spoke "you're really gonna make it-" .

"Don't lie to me" y/n clearly asked Christy to tell her the painful truth .

"Alright , let's get your check up done and then I'll tell you the truth... Okay?" Christy spoke half-heartedly .

After the checkup , y/n sat , waiting for the reports .

Christy came back with a nervous smile and y/n instantly understood that it wasn't good . "Y/n .. uh.. you're..um..uh..your heart is .. not doing good .." y/n smiled , the smile was do sad , that it bought tears in Christy's eyes .

"You might have a .. few hours only , Y/n . I can only say that everything depends on your will power , it can make you last till tomorrow.." y/n let tears fall .

The first thing in her mind was making it till the time Spiderman came . She wanted to tell him about her feelings . Tell him about her heart . Tell him that she didn't even know that her weak heart was capable of loving someone so much . Kiss him .

"Do you want to admit yourself , you might last a few more days like that" Christy gained her professional self .

"No .. if I stay here , he won't know .. I want to talk with him one last time.." y/n spoke and got up .

"I'd definitely ask God after I'm done with this world , that why was it me , why did this happen with me.. why I couldn't live like the endless teenagers .. .." y/n chuckled hopelessly before running out of the office .

She wailed and cried and did everything from scratching and punching the walls to throwing the things from the cupboard on the ground to shake off the pain of facing the unfairness of life and God . She didn't care about her heart which would've been suffering badly due to high need of blood circulation . She cried all the day and finally , it was time for Spider-Man to come. She was surprised that she did make it , because the pain in heart was insane , she couldn't distinguish between the pain of the illness and the pain of the love. She was literally shivering now , all the lights of her room switched off as she waited for him . She knew her heart was on the verge of giving up , when a new doubt sprung in her thoughts .

"Will he come ? I refused to kiss him and dismissed him without any goodbye.. oh god no .. please come Spiderman , please" her heart beat accelerated , causing her to yelp in pain .

She pumped her breaths again , as shortness of breath was a very regular thing to face . She was too tired to even move and continued to sit in the seat . She remembered how the shock of being shot in the chest got her this disease in her childhood . "scarring of the heart from an unknown cause is a cause for this disease , y/n" . Her family was in the dangerous stuff from the beginning and she had to suffer a great loss of loosing her parents . They never cared for her , but they did leave a lot of money for y/n . She coughed for the infinite time that evening , her throat hoarse as she kept going for Spider-Man ...

Peter was confused . It had been 14 mins pass the time he was supposed to go . He had been practicing on how to approach her today .

"Y/n I love you a lot . I have been in love with you for sometime now.. No , this sounds too simple" Peter muttered under his breath .

His hand had a bouquet of red flowers while he bit his lip in frustration . Checking himself out in a nearby broken glass , he left it to god on how to approach her , he couldn't wait anymore...

Dear Spiderman ,

Peter was confused as hell when he noticed the lights off . His heart banged in his chest at the thought of her not wanting to meet him , but he noticed the open window . Slowly opening it , he walked around the room to switch on the light . His scrunched his nose at a faint smell of blood . On switching the lights on , he looked around with a faint smile , only for the smile to drop vigorously . The walls were scratched , there was blood on the walls and some holes too . The bouquet dropped from his hands and he looked around to take in the mess. There was a pump lying on the ground and the things of cupboard were all out and on the ground . He picked up the dress that he'd gifted y/n and immediately dropped it .

"Y/n !!!" His voiced echoed throughout the empty house as he removed his mask , and he stepped out of the room to find the girl in the house .

He realised that he had never stepped out of the first floor but concentrated on finding y/n .

"Y/-" before he could continue , a sob left his lips .

Y/n was right there , lying on the stairs . Peter slowly approached her and called her name out , but she didn't respond .

"Y/n?" Peter's voice broke as he saw her unmoving body. He picked her up and layed her in her room , a letter in her hand . He took the letter of her cold and stone hand and read it , his eyes already glistening with tears ..

I'm really sorry . I never told you that I had an illness with no cure . My life was very simple and boring until you came . You sprung love in my life and as much as I wanted to be away from the feeling , I loved it . I loved love. I loved you , but I knew that we'd end . We'd never be the 'forever'. We'd never be a happily married couple. But Spiderman , i don't want you to think that the ones you love always die . No .. it's not that . It's this , that you love the ones who are dying . And you give them the love and the care , so that they can die peacefully .

It's strange isn't it , I don't even know your name or your face . But I love you . I don't know if you do. I'll be waiting for you , up there . I need to have a short talk with God . But I think you do , so please , I want you to move on . I m writing this letter in my last minutes Spiderman , I don't know how many minutes or even seconds more and I don't even know how I managed to write it , but if you ever find this , be strong , my love . Because not everyone stays , I was sent down on the earth to teach you something and go . I wish I could stay , I wish I could take a place of someone who's living still , but I can't . I'm really sorry . And thank you for coming into my life and staying with me till my last breath- wait , Is it you or someone just pranking? .

Y/n got up with the letter in her hand , her feet swollen and trembling . She heard a knock . Maybe it was Spider-Man , maybe he wanted to come in his normal form , reveal him . She hurried down in happiness , her heart gasping for breath with her . Love gave her immense power and strength and there she went down the stairs , tripping twice . As soon as she reached the door , no one was there . The world came crashing down. She did a big mistake . She forgot her pump upstairs and now there was no one . The letter clutched in her hand , she cried , silently whispering "why me ?" Her body fell down as her heart broke and gave up .

°°

Peter's body shook at the loss . He couldn't even tell her he loved her .

Only if he kissed her yesterday , only if he arrived at the regular time today , only if he hadn't run away from love , "Why us , y/n" ...

Do like or reblog if you liked it :)

Thank you for reading !

I don't expect it to be liked a lot or reach the number of notes I expect lol , but I like the way it turned out ..

[toomanyfandoms02]

Birthday // Spencer Reid x Reader

So I got this idea from @darnittumbleweed 's recent post about how grateful Spence must be when he gets gifts and people remember birthdays bc of his mom sadly forgetting them when he was a kid.

Summary - Reader accidentally finds out it's Spencer's birthday and she decides to surprise him with some gifts.

Word count - 2.3k

I adjusted my light purple blazer, tucking it farther into my pencil skirt as I walked through the doors of the bullpen. I was a bit earlier than usual, but I was not surprised to see Spencer already parked at his desk with a book in hand. His feet were propped up on his desk, making his legs look even longer.

The I saw a wallet laying open on the ground, a few feet from his desk.

I kneeled, grabbing the older looking leather wallet from the carpet. I immediately saw Spencer's ID picture sitting in the front clear pocket.

*Sex: M --- Eyes: BRO --- Hgt.: 6' -01'' --- Wgt.: 175 --- DOB: 10/28/1981*

I furrowed my eyebrows at this, that was today's date. Spencer turns 29 today.

I had heard from JJ how private Spencer was about events like this. They just became like any other day to him as he grew up. His mom had not remembered holidays and birthdays from a pretty young age, so he treated them like another regular day too. JJ, and I'm sure Hotch, were the only ones who knew of his birthday. He must have told them to not make a big deal of it, he wasn't much of a partier. Fine then, I wouldn't throw him a party.

"I think you dropped this." I set his wallet on his desk, folded closed. He peeked over his book, eyes widening a bit.

"Oh thanks! Where did you find it?" He say up straighter, laying his book on his desk. I pointed to the ground a few feet away. "Well, thanks again y/l/n." I nodded, heading to my desk.

I shamelessly spent the whole day looking for things to buy for Reid. I was aiming for things from Doctor Who, so I looked up the stock from geek stores in our mall. I had decided on two gifts, and I was going to buy them after work.

My heels clicked loudly on the tile floor of the mall. I was getting frequent stares from passersby as I walked through the crowded halls. I *did* look a little overdressed to be in the mall, but to be completely honest, I was on a mission. And I wasn't going to waste time changing because that would just postpone the time that I would get to see Spencer's smiling face.

I walked into 'ThinkGeek', peering to the back where I saw a Doctor Who section.

"Hiya! Is there something I can help you with." Though the worker didn't show it *clearly* on her face, but I could see the slight confusion in her eyes. Again, I did look a *little* out of place.

"I'm looking for a few specific things that I checked your guys' stock for with the help of a friend."

"Only workers can check our in store stock here. Are you Sarah's friend?" She gestured to a lady at the counter with bright pink hair.

"Uh, no." I slowly pulled out my FBI credentials and discreetly showed them to her. "I had our tech analyst check for me because I need these gifts for a friend." She nodded in understanding, looking just a bit frightened. I explained to her what I needed and she took me to the items. It wasn't long until I was being rung up.

"That'll be $31.82." I slid her the money. "This is a gift right? Do you want it wrapped? We wrap for an extra 2 bucks."

"That would be awesome!" I put two more dollars on the counter.

"So," she tied the bow on the first present, "is this for a boyfriend?" I blushed and narrowed my eyes a bit. She put her hands up in surrender, "Or girlfriend?" I sighed a bit with a laugh.

"No no, he's a coworker."

"Some coworker he must be if you're spending," she peered at my receipt, "nearly 34 dollars on him. A birthday I'm guessing?"

"Are you trying to profile me?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow.

"Are you trying to profile *me*?"

"Fair enough." I laughed. She slid me the boxes and handed me my receipt. "Thank you for wrapping these."

"Get that man boo!" She shouted as I left the store. I gave her a firm thumbs up and started heading to my car so I could give these to the man in question.

That was until I forgot about a card.

I turned back into the mall and went into Barnes and Noble. I quickly had a worker direct me towards the cards and I found a perfect one with a Tardis that said 'All the time-travel in the world won't make you any younger.'

I giggled and brought it up to the register.

"Is it this special someone's birthday *today*?" I nodded. "Well I have a coupon for a free cupcake from our cafe." She slid me the thin piece of paper.

"Thank you so much!" I grabbed the card and headed to the cafe and getting him a vanilla cupcake. After all of that, I was finally, *actually*, heading to Spencer's.

I pulled into his apartments parking lot, unbuckling and gathering the gifts. I took the stairs up to apartment 23 and knocked on the door. I heard slow footsteps approach the door and stop for a moment. I assumed he was looking through the peep hole so I hid the presents behind me, skillfully stacked onto one hand and waved. He opened the door immediately.

"Hey y/n! What are you doing here? And what's behind your back?" He tried to look over my shoulders, which wasn't hard to do with his towering frame. I backed up into the stairs railing so he couldn't see.

"You promise you won't be mad if I tell you?" I could see worry cross his features.

"That depends. But it's hard to stay mad at you." His face softened.

"Ok well," I pulled the small boxes and card from behind me, "happy birthday."

His eyes widened, and then, unexpectedly, a giant grin spread across his lips.

"How did you know?"

"When I picked your wallet up, I saw your ID. So, I decided to get you a couple things." He ushered me in the house as I handed him the card. He smiled even bigger, reading the card.

"You remembered that I like Doctor Who?"

"Okay, first of all, who doesn't know you like Doctor Who? And two, I remember a lot of things about you, nerd." I elbowed his side lightly. He gestured for me to sit on his couch with him as I handed him the boxes wrapped in white wrapping and blue bows, along with the clear box with the cupcake in it.

"Thank you for the cupcake." He chuckled.

"Yeah! The chick at the counter gave me a coupon for it." I smiled.

He opened the thinner, longer box first. I revealed a Tardis tie.

"Y/n-"

"I didn't think you had a tie like that so as soon as I saw it I knew I had to get it. I'm sorry if you already have one."

"Y/n, this is so cool! Where did you get it?" He pulled it from the box and looked at it closer. He was already loosening his current tie to try it on.

"It's a store in the mall, ThinkGeek. They've got a lot of nerdy stuff there. It's where I get my Harry Potter stuff." I blushed a bit, having just revealed a nerdy part of me that I didn't tell many people about.

"I love it!" He was now standing in front of a mirror, tightening it around his neck and smiling like a little kid who just got a puppy. He came back to the couch, leaving it on and tearing the wrapping on the second one. It was a Tardis mug.

"And you were talking about how we didn't have enough mugs at the office, so I thought you could have your own. Plus, everyone will know it's yours."

He stared into the mug with a look that I couldn't exactly read.

*Did I trigger a bad memory?*

Right as I thought that, he looked up at me with the same expression. All I could tell was, whatever he was trying to express, it was behind those honey brown eyes. ~~the ones I was always getting lost in~~ He set the mug on the coffee table and leaned towards me.

He hugged me.

He hugged me tighter than I have ever been hugged.

I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him back. I could have sat like that forever, but we sat for probably half a minute.

"I thought you didn't like hugs."

"I don't usually, but, I don't know." He looked down at his hands, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. "This just, means a lot to me. I didn't think someone paid enough attention to me to not only get me things from my favorite show, but things that I have mentioned randomly in a conversation." He looked up in realization, and now my heart was pumping *way* too fast. "You *like* me, don't you?" My eyes widened to, I'm sure, the size of the mug I had gotten him.

"What? Uh, no. I just thought, you just never, no."

"Yes! Yes you do!" He stood up smiling at me, like he just had a *massive* breakthrough. "Look, you're blushing, that's involuntary sign of attraction. And you haven't broken eye contact with me this whole time! Even though you want to. And you're talking in a lower pitch than usual. A person will change the tone and pitch of their voice when speaking to someone they’re attracted to. Specifically, women tend to lower their vocal tone when around an attractive person. You have been fidgeting this whole time."

I could feel my face get hotter and hotter with everything he pointed out. I felt extremely vulnerable. My face was not only involuntarily blushing, it was involuntarily making quite the frightened face. I realized this when he put his hands up in surrender and his face softened from the smug grin that was previously plastered to it.

"Oh! Are you okay?" He leaned over his coffee table at me and I leaned farther into his couch. He smiled again, "Do you not understand what I'm getting at?" He looked at me slightly dumbfounded.

"That I like you? Yeah I got it!" I snapped a bit. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly.

"I do the exact some things." I squinted my eyes at him. "Do you not notice how *neither* of us ever break eye contact? I was just sitting next to you, fidgeting with my hands. You probably think my cheeks are naturally flushed, but that's just when I'm around you. I constantly catch myself lowering my voice when I'm having conversations with you. Some profilers we are, huh?" I smiled and leaned towards him, grabbing his face.

"Yeah, well, we aren't suppose to profile eachother anyway, cheater." I giggled, pulling him into a kiss. He grabbed the back of my neck deepening it.

"Giggling a lot from a woman is also a sign of attraction." He mumbled between kisses. I pulled apart from him with another giggle. He raised his eyebrows as I confirmed his theory.

"Whatever nerd." I pushed his chest.

"Seriously, thank you so much." He hugged me again. At this point we were both just standing in front of his coffee table. "I'm glad you found out it was my birthday today, because I'm not sure when I would have the courage for any of that again." He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore. You have me now." His eyes lit up at that, kissing me again. We both smiled into the kiss, pulling eachother impossibly close. "I've gotta get home and feed my cat." I backed out from the kiss, watching him slightly follow, in hopes of another kiss.

"Are you free after work tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Dinner? Or we can watch a movie here?"

"How about both?" I winked.

"Perfect!" He pecked my lips one more time as I walked out the door. Just as it shut behind me I heard a not so quiet.

"Yes! Finally dumbass!" From him.

I giggled again as I walked down the stairs.

*What a convenient day for him to drop his wallett*

BONUS:

The next day I walked in to see Spencer drinking from his new mug and wearing his tie, paired with a regular white button up. I walked by his desk, tapping on the mugs rim.

"Nice mug." I winked and kept walking to my desk. He looked down at the coffee with a giddy smile.

"**I knew it! I knew it! Give me the money JJ you *loser**!" I heard Derek screech from the other side of the room. JJ rolled her eyes and handed him a ten. "My man's has got game!" He slapped a hand on Spencer's back.

"You guys couldn't have waited one more month?" JJ asked with a very annoyed expression.

"It's your guys fault for betting on us." I held my hands in surrender. Penelope then emerged from her office.

"Yay! Finally! Did you get him the tie and mug?! I adore it!" She hugged me from behind and placed a kiss on my cheek.

*This is my family*

[thisdreamplace]

I'm so close to giving up on practicing the law (consciously) overall. It's like yet another habit (of conscious manifesting, living like a king in a kingdom/reality etc) that I've failed to incorporate

However, like a chronic sufferer who actually wants a way out ie who seeks a chance of living differently and not permanently not living I really don't want to give up. But I'm so disheartened of this

Ik yk what it's like, and I'm aware of how u pushed thru despite everything, and yk very well what it's like when u too were on this side

I feel like I'm caught in the claws of a beast that grows larger and larger. Btw this isn't a msg abt 'im the only one for whom manifesting doesn't work'. (Coz I have, by consciously focusing etc, seen evidence of the law and all), so this ain't even about believing in something unseen

Maybe it's an info overload thing. Idk. Ik enough by now, to realise the core of it is to live like it's already happened, deliberate before reacting so u don't perpetuate the old patterns/story/consequences yadda yadda

So what should I do? How do I refocus? How do I stop thinking Idk enough (even tho even now im aware of how the 3d is an illusion etc and I think I've caught up on all the real free deal on manifesting, law of assumption on the 'net). I think I'm tired of reading up on it and implementing it. Ik it's effortless (and sometimes it really is!) Still, I want utter power over my reality (not micro managing like, but there are still major aspects of my life that I wanna change). What do u suggest? ig my question (or monologue, amirite? 😉) relates to how I feel I'm all over the place related to this. I mean, you can't measure a company's performance w/o numbers yeah? And I'm an analyst (tho the messy-desk sort who teeters b/w must-get-the-finest-details to aye-imma-wing-it: and I can't force myself to be either at will 😒) who's gotten a mind blank

So yeah, please, by all means, knock me on the head, give me a wake up call, throw a book or two at me. I've been enrolled in the manifesting course (figure of speech) for so long, yet I'm not focused enough to garner true results (not blaming the 3d, but I mean it's kinda obvi when u ARE working but there aren't much results, how's that different from day dreaming or wishful thinking yeah?)

In conclusion, also, any idea how I can improve? What could I do (or not do) (other than self concept. I oft subject myself to the I Am Love peeps and they're pretty cool and the stuff they say is 💯) How do I pull myself together?

Thanks for reading this far! Thank you overall! 😎

I know you asked about what you can do other than self concept and I'm sorry but my advice is going to be #1: self concept. haha If it wasn't for me deciding to give myself my all, I don't think I'd still be here.

Here's the craziest thing about the law: we come to the law because we desire for something, then find out it was never about our desire. It was always about us. You see, the more you keep your desires at the forefront of your life, without putting yourself first in line, the more complicated you make your journey. The truth is, nothing needs to change except you. So you don't want to hear my self concept advice, you want there to be anything else except self concept, but the truth is your conception of self is your everything. It is the foundation upon which your world is happening automatically. Change your conceptions of self and you change your world. Period.

I mean, even now this is important for you because of everything you are saying. If you truly want to use the law to your advantage and finally live the life you know you deserve, stop running away from yourself. Stop wanting your desires to fix your issues. Stop looking for a technique to make the magic happen. Only you can make this work. That's the thing about it. You've said you read enough, no? So at this point you should have some sort of idea of what you're into, what kind of things make sense to you. Actually start to apply it now. Like seriously. Dedicate the rest of the year to applying the law in the way that makes sense to you. Make sure your #1 goal is yourself. The only progress/change you need be worried about is a change within yourself.

If you want utter power you give it to yourself. And I'll be upfront. For some it's an easy and powerful experience. For me, it's been difficult, painful, and uncomfortable. But that's because I was so engulfed in my victim mentality for so many years. I wanted someone to come by so badly and save me and even after the law, I had a hard time giving that up. The more attached we are to the old story, the more difficult our journey will be. And that's okay. We have to be gentle with ourselves in those tough moments. It's not a race and you're doing everything perfectly. When I finally decided to take responsibility for myself was the moment my life changed for the better. More and more the law clicks and I feel more confident in who I am as God of my reality. But you have to be willing to leave that victim mentality behind you. How can you take on full power of your reality, while living like a victim? You automatically give your power away like that. So, drop it. No matter how scary and uncomfortable it is. You must.

There's a certain amount of mental discipline that must be practiced when it comes to the law. So for that, I recommend meditation. Any way you want to do it. No you don't need to be focused on the law all the time but you need to be aware who's in control of your reality. It's you. You don't get anytime off from being God, it's a full time job. That's why self concept is so important, because it's what is manifesting naturally 24/7. So the least you can do is make sure your foundation is one in which you actually want to be operating from.

Hopefully this helps to pick you up and give you some idea of where to go next on your journey! You absolutely got this! And don't forget to take care of yourself and look out for yourself as you continue on your manifestation journey. 💖

[smileyoongle]

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part 6

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

24th January, 2019

10:46PM

This is my first entry ever. My name is Y/N Y/L/N and my life has been a little too happening for the past 24 days. I came to live with my best friend in Korea, only to be kidnapped by a dangerous man who called himself Kim Taehyung. And these 24 days, I have been living with him. That's right. Living.

I have to admit, I was scared shitless at first. I thought I was pretty much dead and there is no way Yoona can save me. But can you imagine my surprise when Kim Taehyung turned out to be a sweet gentleman? And it's not just him. All the people who work with him are just as nice to me. Especially, Jungkook. He makes me feel like I have known him for a long time. It's not really bad living here. Taehyung's house is like four times bigger than Yoona's house and I sometimes get lost. It gets boring when no one's home but I manage. I think my little complaint made Taehyung buy me this diary. It's really pretty and it has my name sewn onto the hard cover. He says it's an apology present but I know he's probably annoyed with me. He just wants me to keep to myself. It isn't my fault, is it? Kim Taehyung is just a very…. intriguing man. I find myself being pulled to him all the time. But this is a secret. Between you and me.

Yours Lovingly,

Y/N

A knock on the door made you close the diary and hide it under your pillow. You cleared your throat and pulled the covers up to your neck before mumbling a 'come in'. Minho's head peeked in through the door, a small smile gracing his lips as he took in your form. He slowly got inside and closed the door.

The sun was shining through the windows, the chirping of the birds outside giving you hope that today's gonna be a good day.

"Hey." He mumbled, glancing at his feet and leaning against the door. You gulped, the awkwardness in the room becoming very obvious. You hadn't spoken to Yoona or Minho the day before. Jungkook's words had left you anxious and suspicious, if it wasn't for the diary then you would have surely lost your mind. Since you were too tired the previous night, you hadn't touched your diary at all. But your curiosity had you waking up early and flipping open the pages.

Strangely, Minho hadn't bothered you since you fainted and you wondered how your relationship with him used to be.

"Hi." You replied, mustering a small smile and sitting up straighter. 

"Did I wake you?" He asked, wincing a little at the thought. You immediately shook your head, your hands itching to grab your book and read more of your thoughts.

You could feel the headache coming, clearly, the information of you having been kidnapped was too much. 

So Taehyung became your best friend after he kidnapped you?

That's the only possible explanation. And also, he doesn't seem to be lying either since your entry made sure to tell you how much you liked being in his presence.

Wow ...what an interesting story.

"Y/N, are you listening to me?" You snapped out of your thoughts, mentally slapping yourself for completely forgetting about Minho. 

"I-uh yeah... I'm sorry I'm just... there's too many thoughts." You apologized, biting your lip and shaking your head slightly. Minho smiled apologetically at you, his hand enveloping yours. You blushed, gaping at the sudden gesture.

"It's okay, I understand. I just came to tell you that Yoona has gone out for some work. So I was wondering that maybe we should go out and you know, not let you get too cooped up?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

You blinked at him, thinking of ways to say no but you couldn't do that to him. As much as you lost yourself, everyone else did too. What they need is for you to tell them that you aren't gone completely. You'll be back. You are on your way.

Reluctantly, you nodded, eyes narrowing at Minho's hand on top of yours. 

"I'd like that." You said, giving him a comforting smile. His hand was warm against yours, the kind of warmness that Jungkook had brought to you. It was so...brotherly.

He's your boyfriend.

You cleared your throat, pulling your hand away from him. Minho noticed your uncomfortableness and stood up, giving you a nod.

"Okay then. Uh.. I'll wait for you downstairs. Take your time." He said, waving at you before leaving you alone. 

You sighed, leaning against the backrest. In all honesty, you did feel a little grimy. You had barely gotten out of bed since yesterday.

You pulled out your diary, running your fingers across the hard cover. There was a certain amount of hesitation in your heart. You didn't really know the story that was hidden between the pages. It was like you were getting to know yourself from your own perspective. You couldn't tell if you were ready or not.

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

"Fucking hell!" 

Taehyung's voice echoed through the house, making everyone turn their heads towards the study. Namjoon frowned, nodding at everyone to let them know that he was gonna check up on what exactly Taehyung was doing.

He dragged himself up the open staircase and leaned against the doorway of Taehyung's study, frowning on seeing the mess. The room reeked of alcohol, an empty bottle of whisky sitting on the table which used to be a lot more cleaner in your presence.

Namjoon's heart ached at the thought. Such a shame that life is so quick to take away important people. The only thing Namjoon was grateful for, was your existence. At least, you were alive. 

Taehyung rummaged through the cardboard boxes in the room, throwing out everything that he wasn't looking for. Namjoon sighed, concluding that Taehyung was, indeed, drunk.

"What are you doing?" Namjoon voiced, watching the younger male with a cold expression. It was absolutely demotivating to see Taehyung slowly spiralling back into the darkness that he was saved from. As much as Namjoon wanted to do something about it, he felt helpless.

Taehyung closed his eyes, sitting down on the carpeted floor and rubbing his eyes. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night, his mind too busy replaying his encounter with you.

"I can't fucking find her diary. I swear I had packed it up in one of these boxes.." Taehyung replied, his words sounding very unstable. 

Jungkook stood outside the study, peeping in from behind Namjoon and wincing on seeing Taehyung's state. There was absolutely no way he could tell Taehyung what he had done. Taehyung would probably get mad that Jungkook had done this without telling anyone. But what could he do? 

He seemed to be the only one worried about your sanity because you were staying with Yoona. Something had to be done to save you. To make you feel like you still had control over your life.

"You're too drunk to be looking for anything. Go and get cleaned up first." Namjoon ordered, kneeling down beside his brother-like friend and patting his back. Taehyung shook his head, his red rimmed eyes begging Namjoon to help him.

Jungkook decided that he should probably step in. So he did.

"You really should go and clean up. We'll look for it." Jungkook stated, walking in with his hands in his pocket. Taehyung sighed, reluctantly nodding. He stood up, stumbling on his own feet but Jungkook caught him.

Taehyung nodded at Jungkook in acknowledgement and Jungkook cracked a small smile.

"Just, please find it. That diary makes me feel like I still have her even though I don't." Taehyung requested, glancing at both the men before making his way out. 

Jungkook frowned, looking down at his shoes. Should he have not done that?

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

Yoona shivered, her body still hot and bothered from what she had done moments ago. The silk sheets beneath her body felt cool, her fingers tangling themselves in the red satin. Her eyes followed the man across the room, smiling at him with all the affection she had. But he seemed to be unaffected, too focused on putting on his clothes and lighting up his cigarette.

"You're leaving so soon?" Yoona voiced, disdain evident in the way her shoulders slumped. She knew that Eunho had a life apart from her but she couldn't deny the liveliness she felt when he was with her. She felt special. She felt like she was doing something right, even if the world didn't believe that.

Eunho shook his head, running his fingers through his brown hair. 

"I'm not going anywhere, you are. This is my house and I have things to do so get out."

Yoona's jaw dropped at the harshness delivered to her. She could hear the shattering of her heart, her chest tightening as she sat up straighter. 

"Why are you saying that? I...I don't understand." She frowned, pulling the sheets up to cover her body. Eunho sighed before chuckling bitterly to himself. He turned towards Yoona, taking a long drag from his cigarette and sitting beside her on the bed. He tilted his head, mocking her with his pitiful eyes.

"You stupid stupid girl. Did you think I'd keep you with me forever? I must admit, the sex was amazing at first but now, it's just boring. So, give me back the money you took from me and get lost." He stated bluntly, crossing his legs and staring at Yoona in amusement. 

Yoona's breath hitched, her eyes warming up as tears began to pool in them. All these months, she had thought that Eunho was the one for her. Even though he was a gang leader, he was nice. He was better than all the others she had met. She had trusted him with all her problems and he had also given her money when she had to pay Taehyung back. 

This was not something she expected. She leaned forward and held Eunho's hand, tears freely falling down her cheeks.

"No, Eunho, I'll do whatever you want. Don't end this here. I don't even have the money. If I had it, I wouldn't have borrowed it from you!" Yoona begged, her voice cracking in the middle. 

Eunho was her pillar and maybe she had been naïve enough to let him manipulate her but she was in too deep now. She was in love and she knew that. She just couldn't believe that Eunho could say such things to her. He only wanted her for her body? Bullshit.

Eunho yanked his arm away and stood up, throwing icy glares at Yoona as he crouched down to her eye level. 

"You don't have the money? Hmm...then we have just two choices." Yoona's eyes lit up with hope. This was good. There has to be some way in which she could repay him and convince him to stay.

At her lack of response, Eunho smirked and leaned closer, placing his fingers under her chin. Yoona could feel his breath on her lips, the smell of his cologne mixing with that of the cigarette.

"Either you get me the money somehow…." Yoona's breath hitched when his hand trailed down to her neck, his fingers wrapping around the skin. 

"...or you get me the girl who was in the middle of all this."

Yoona's eyes widened and she immediately pushed Eunho away. Her breathing became heavier and her jaw clenched. 

So he wanted Y/N?

Eunho could sense the anger he had planted in his dumb lover, a wave of satisfaction crashing over him. He loved seeing Yoona getting so riled up over nothing. Because how much was her best friend really worth? 

Nothing.

Eunho just wanted a taste of the girl who had captured Kim Taehyung's heart. It was just mere curiosity and he was sure that he'd let her go after one night. But if she was really special, then maybe he'd have to keep the little birdie with him. 

What was her name again?

Y/N Y/L/N

"You're sick! I'll fucking give you your money, one way or another but you'll never ever get your hands on Y/N!" Yoona seethed, rushing to put on her clothes. All of her trust and affection was thrown out the window in a span of seconds. 

"Oh? Okay then, I guess you wouldn't mind if I informed Taehyung that this whole kidnapping thing was your doing."

Yoona froze, her jacket clutched tightly in her hands as a shudder ran down her spine. She gulped, slowly turning around to look at the pathetic man who was threatening her after using her to his heart's content. 

"You wouldn't." She mumbled, her tone cautious and doubtful. As much as she wanted to call it a bluff, Eunho's eyes told her otherwise. He had always been a competitive man, his ego too high to please and too easy to hurt. 

Eunho raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to Yoona.

"You think, baby? Fine, don't come to me when Taehyung sends his people after you."

Yoona shook her head furiously, her jacket falling to the floor as she swallowed thickly. Her stomach churned and she wanted to throw up. The smell of Eunho's cologne was now becoming intoxicating. She couldn't stand it.

"You can't pin this on me. I asked you to hurt Taehyung!" She yelled, pointing at Eunho while he simply smirked. 

"That's the point, baby. You asked me. You let your friend rot in Castillo's basement. You decided that she needs to be given electric shocks to forget Taehyung. So tell me. Who's the bigger culprit?"

The tears that had dried up made a comeback, endlessly streaming down Yoona's cheeks. This was low, even for Eunho. But it was her fault for believing him in the first place. You used to be a cautious girl when it came to men and Yoona used to think you were being too stuck up. Now she understood why. She had made a big mistake with no way to undo it.

Eunho tutted, wrapping his arms around Yoona and letting her cry. He patted her head and rocked back and forth.

"You have two weeks. Get me Y/N and we'll all be happy." He mumbled, his soothing tone contradicting the warning of his words. 

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Look at this family, we really growing, huh? How do we feel about the plot twist? I hate Yoona 😔

Tell me if you wanna be tagged! As much as I think this was a bad chapter, I hope you guys still liked it!

-XX

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Link to my masterlist for earlier chapters or other stuff I've written

His Queen

Part 3

Bri ripped open the letter, amazed it was handwritten and in cursive! Knowing Roman, he had an assistant write it, but she felt a warmth in her chest knowing he’d truly loved her all along.

To My Queen, Briana Godfrey,

(Admit it! That sounds way better than Tucker, have the lawyers change it.)

Oh, and before I get into it, I wrote this myself. No assistants, so fuck you for thinking it.

Bri smiled a sad smile at how they still knew how the other thought.

I have to start off by saying thank you for reading this letter. That means you're at the white tower. I don't deserve you. I've turned into everything I never wanted to become. Everything you made me believe I could escape. You are the light to my darkness and I'm so sorry I disappointed you. I don’t have a lot of time, but I needed a plan in case I fail. You’re the only person I trust with my company, my money, my daughter, my legacy, my heart, all of it. I am an absolute crack head level blood addict, and I couldn’t trust myself when we got overly emotional to keep my head. Because I love you so much, you can make me so upset, and That last fight we got into, I scared myself. I don’t blame you for slapping me, but to hold back from returning the blow, I literally broke my own hand... but this is not what this letter is about.

Peter and my sick half-sister Annie have stolen my daughter. Peter is hell-bent on destroying me because he killed Destiny's trash fiance, and lied about it, so she blamed me and attacked me and I hurt her bad enough to foresee issues with peter, so I broke her neck to avoid problems figuring it was showing her some mercy since she was heartbroken. Annie was there and when I refused to carry on an incestuous relationship with her, she turned on me and told Peter about Destiny. So he came after me and fucking shot me, we fought and I won, but didn't cut his head off so I knew he’d be fine. Well, he calls me and has my kid and won't turn her over, and says he's going to kill me so even though I doubt it, Nadia needs someone to raise her, and if I'm killed it's not my whore of a sister Annie. I need you to find Nadia and take her home and raise her as she deserves. She’s such a sweet baby and she adores you.

Find Shelley and she can help you maybe. She’s in love with this weird old poet and chooses to live at the old steel mill. Calls it Rooster Poop. Can’t make this shit up.

The entire security team is trying to find Nadia, so contact them and see where they’re at with it.

you are the love of my life and I refused to ever say so, even though we both knew it was true. I would bullshit and say it’s cuz I was saving you from myself, but I’m not that fucking noble. You scared me more than anything ever scared me in my life. God, it's great to admit I love you. Like I need to make up a new word for how I feel for you cuz love isn’t strong enough.

there’s a pretty poem I saw that reminded me of you;

I’d still choose you.

In a hundred lifetimes,

in a hundred worlds,

in any version of reality,

I’d find you and I’d choose you.

Even though I knew you were going to break my heart again and again.

I’d still choose you.

It’s crazy how happy I am writing you a letter, even with every aspect of my life in shambles, you’re my light.

You get everything. Fuck all of them. You were right about everything. If I survive this shit, I am winning you back if it takes 100 years and I have to spend every cent. This is literally a reset.

I tried to forget your baby girl but I never could. No amount of drugs, money, blood, or bullshit could ever distract me from the constant ache in my heart for only you. You’re the only pussy I ever wanna see again. I ran thru a fantastic amount of pussy after you left and none of them made me forget you for even a moment. I pictured you or I could not get off. It was pathetic. I hope I get to see you again and rip up this fucking letter.

I looked back over this and there’s a reason I have other people write shit up for me. A few requests to seriously consider:

-->Blitzky should take over for Pryce. Not only is he a genius, he's a good guy. He's a bit soft, so you may have to be the bad guy.

-->Get a new nanny. The current one looks good on paper but she's an idiot.

--> Live in the white tower. It's secure and safe and you can make as many floors as you like home.

--> if an animal killed me, it's Peter and he's still a wolf. He’ll be white. Kill him, cut off his head and burn him up in the incinerator.

--> if Annie comes around at all, kill her. She's very manupulative and acts religious and nice. She's crazy and not to be trusted.

-->try and convince Shelley to live in the mansion and have her little homeless community there. She doesn't care about money but she cares about people, so offer it as a safe haven. Make sure it stays stocked in necessities like toilet paper, soap, cleaning materials, etc and write it all off as a charity contribution. Make the whole endeavor a big tax write off, but don't tell Shelley that part. Just tell her it was my dying wish she had a home.

--> the loser she's with has legal problems. Have the legal department solve them so he's got no reason to desert her.

-->if Peters mom comes sniffing around, don't tell her a damn thing. I doubt she will tho, she's a wanted fugitive.

--> don't trust any gypsies.

--> Nadia is very intelligent. She can read minds, influence dreams, and kill anyone or anything just by looking at them. She's dangerous and shouldn't be allowed around animals or people until she can understand the concept of death and consequences. There's no way to control her, I have found.

--> I promised a homeless man I ate that id pay for his sons school. Anonymously pay for Mathew Shandwicks classes, books and dorm at Penn State for all 4 years. His father traded his life without a single complaint so it's imperative you keep my word.

-->make sure Nadia isn't a spoiled brat like me. Teach her about her mother and her father and all the good things about us. Leave out we were related if you can swing it. Just say we were young and loved each other very much. I enclosed a pack of photos of me and Letha for her.

I wonder what you’re wearing... That reminds me; if I’m really dead, you have to be in mourning at least two years. That means all black suits and dresses that cover you up, black nails, big black hats like you just left a Catalina Yacht Mixer or you’re going to a royal wedding. I even got you black lab coats just in case.Don’t half ass this. It’s important.

Also I want “Fuck you” by the Archives played at my funeral, if it comes to that.

Hopefully, you never see this letter because I got everything fixed here, and went and found you and you ran into my arms and we lived happily ever after, and I have a whole lifetime with you... But just in case...

All my love,

Roman Godfrey

P.s. - since you're a genius, hopefully you can fix me or bring me back. I hope you still love me even 10% as much as I love you, because then nothing can stop us.

Brianna stared at the page as her tears fell on it swirling the ink in designs and spirals. She knew he’d always loved her, but it was bittersweet seeing him finally admit it. She took the photos out of the envelope and looked through them.

Looking through the pictures was heart-wrenching. There had to be a way to fix all this! She tried to remember everything she’d learned about Upirs from that dreadful Russian women and Pryce. Luckily they’d been a bit of an obsession for her that she delved into when Roman pulled his shit. Being obsessed with Upirs had distracted her from obsessing over the real issue.

Just as she started to wonder when Mueller and Edwards would be back, as if by magic, the elevator doors opened. They had brought Dr. Blitzkey with them as well.

“Oh my gosh! You’re alive! I’m so happy to see you’re ok and still here!” Bri said as she ran up and embraced Blitzky. “Where is Roman? I need to see him.”

Blitzky looked at the ground nervously before meeting your eyes. “It’s not fixable.”

“No matter. I just NEED to see him. Please?” She begged.

“Okay. He has several severe traumatic injuries so please prepare yourself for that.”

“What happened to him?”

“Some Type of animal attacked him in the old mansion and pushed him out the upper story window, fracturing his spine and neck which most likely left him paralyzed and vulnerable. His throat and heart were then ripped out.”

“Peter.” Bri said darkly. He was going to pay for his betrayal. She would make sure of that.

“I mean that’s the most logical conclusion but after all Roman did for that little degenerate, ” Blitzky muttered.

Bri nodded solemnly.

“Hate to interrupt your happy little party but we have several forms that need immediate attention, to get this shit show back on the road,” Edwards interjected.

“They’ll have to wait till after I see Roman. You lead the way Blitzkey, you two stay here.” She said firmly stepping into the elevator with the doctor. Both lawyers looked furious but did as they were told since they were honestly intimidated by this young woman that had all this piled on her, and seemed unfazed.

As soon as the doors closed she sank to her knees and screamed. The tears came flooding out of her eyes as her body was wracked by sobs. It’s like she’d been hit by a truck. The realization that Roman was really gone finally sinking in.

Blitzky didn’t know what he should do. He was a genius, but completely clueless when it came to social and interpersonal skills. He hesitantly patted Bri on the head like a golden retriever, unsure how long was comforting so he just kept doing it. “You’re strong.”

Bri glanced up at Blitzky through her foggy tears and couldn't help but agree. She WAS strong.

The elevator opened to their floor as she looked down at the floor.

“Well” Blitzkey peeped, unsure of what to do, “this is it.”

“We have to fix him Blitzkey. There’s got to be a way.” she said rising to her feet, as if the little display he just witnessed never happened.

“You’re the boss.” Blitzky said as cheerful as he could muster.

“I’m giving you Pryce’s position. I trust you.”

“Thank you! I wasn't sure if maybe you'd want to take charge.... What will you do? Take over for Roman?”

“Until I can bring him back, I guess I’ll have to. I will bring him back Blitzkey.... If I have to make a deal with the Devil himself.” Bri stated adamantly before setting off down the hall like a woman possessed.