#I feel like I'm getting real close to the episode where everything comes to light

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#36: The Ressurection (1.04)

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Wow. 😭 This love scene was stunning and profound. A true resurrection of Richonne. 🙌🏽🥹

This scene also illustrated one of my absolute favorite things communicated in TOWL: that without Michonne, Rick can’t be alive but even more so - with Michonne, Rick can’t be dead.

Try as he may to fight being alive, if Rick is with Michonne he will always come back to life through her. And I love seeing that depicted in this moment where both of them powerfully and passionately begin to restore each other...

So the buildup scene prior to this was Richonne's sexiest scene yet. And then I love how as we transition to this bedroom scene they maintain that mesmerizing sensualness of course, but they also dive into some serious emotion, pain, and powerful love between these two soulmates when the unexpected happens during this long-awaited and blazing moment of intimacy.

Now, before the episode aired there were enough people with screeners using cowgirl hat/boots gifs and emojis as hints to give an idea of what to expect for this bedroom scene...but I still wasn’t ready lol.

They transition to the bedroom and I love that Richonne’s first time or first time again gets to be in such a nice romantic setting. It’s such a sensual environment with sheer curtains and the perfect warm lighting. And considering the grandness of Rick and Michonne finally getting to have each other in this way it’s only right that the environment feels elevated as well. 👌🏽

gif cred: @nerd4music

Once the camera slides pass the sheer curtains we see Rick and Michonne beautifully getting to have this moment of intimacy after years. And I love the way the breathing is the soundtrack for this love scene. Like there’s this pretty music too but the breathing is the real music here if you ask me. 😌

gif cred: @msanonships

I love that when we enter into the scene they’re all into it and as close as humanly possible but still pulling each other even closer. And then there's a tighter shot with Rick looking down and looking like he’s taking a moment to appreciate that his wife is so good at...literally everything in life.😋

gif cred: @nat111love

It’s interesting that the first time Michonne gets to see Rick outside of the CRM soldier uniform is when he literally has to take it off and be bare with her. He put the uniform on for her all those years ago, and now he's finally removed it for her as well.

And y’all, the Richonne fandom is educational because I learned a new word through the thoughts shared on this iconic scene. I saw someone mention how Rick looks up in supplication for Michonne’s kiss, and I hadn’t heard the word 'supplication' before. But once I searched the definition, it was the perfect word to describe this moment when Rick looks up at Michonne. 👌🏽And you know Michonne’s our little genie so she told Rick 'wish granted.' 😋

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

Also y’all, I know we say 'they’re wild for this' a lot regarding Richonne...but this whole licking moment between them and then the way he’s literally dripping off her lip after, and the way they subtly stick out their tongues once more like they were about to do it again…never have I meant it more when I say THEY ARE WILD FOR THIS.

There aren’t enough air conditioners in the world to cool down the hotness of this whole kiss. 🔥🔥🔥

gif cred: @lousolversons

I’ve heard that they debated whether or not they’d have an intimacy coordinator and then they decided on having one. And I cannot claim to know exactly everything that job entails and I'm sure she was great, but for some reason, I have a very strong feeling in a post-2020 world it was not an intimacy coordinator who suggested all that tongue stuff lol. 🤭

No, my bet would be that this particular moment stemmed from two gifted actors who know their characters very well, including knowing their character's shared level of freak, and as true professionals devoted to the role they let the spirit of the characters coordinate this kiss.👌🏽 I mean, we trust the captains for a reason.🫡 😋 They know how to play every shade of Richonne to perfection.

gif cred: @lousolversons

I'm glad that this moment right here didn’t end up on the cutting room floor. Since Danai was the showrunner of this stellar episode I know she mentioned she also got to have some involvement in the editing process. And every time I see this kiss I just imagine her in the editing room saying 'let's keep this part in the scene' and then looking right at us Richonne fans like...

They were filming this scene like they had something to prove about Richonne’s physical chemistry and baby, while it didn’t need to be proved they still proved it all the way. 💯❤️‍🔥

In TWD, they only ever showed Richonne's lead-up to sex or the after moments, but now that they were going to show the 'during' they said let the world know Rick and Michonne really get down. #LethalAmountsofChemistry

And what I especially love is that you can just sense their bodies remembering each other after years apart. After shutting this part of themselves off when they lost each other and only turning this part of themselves on for each other, it's made so clear that their mind, body, and soul connection is still as strong as ever.

It really is special how much Richonne's physical intimacy is a powerful manifestation of how intimately they love each other in every other way too.

gif cred: @nat111love

So they keep kissing and the camera switches angles as things appear like they are ramping up which you can hear in Rick’s breathing and moaning. But then as he’s touching her and about to get even more immersed in the moment the scene takes a compelling and heartrending turn...

Rick has a panic attack. 🥺

There is so much to dissect about this impactful panic attack moment. It’s just so well executed, painful, powerful, and vulnerable. 👏🏽

gif cred: @nat111love

First; I was very curious to examine why they have this panic attack occur right when it does. Because Rick and Michonne were pretty into it leading up to this so why this exact moment?

My extra self's personal interpretation is that as they were getting more into it, it looked like Rick was about to let loose a lot more and even be more of the assertive person he used to be like getting on top of her, and I feel like that assertiveness rushing back to him like that was jarring a bit.

gif cred: @nat111love

Plus, he can feel her, and they're heating up and I feel like he’s become so used to moments this good quickly coming to an end in his dreams so it’s like he’s bracing for that. Bracing for the part where this dreamlike state burns away and the woman of his dreams disappears, leaving him alone and in pain. 😢

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Also with the whole poison vs. cure thing, I think it’s like Rick's mind starts freaking out because while here he and Michonne are clearly providing each other pleasure, he’s anxious that ultimately being together will cause him to be a poison to her.

He still is convinced Michonne will be in danger if he’s with her and having this passionate moment together will only make it harder to part when that’s how he thinks it has to be. So this moment of intimacy is both this euphoric thing and this panic-inducing thing for him. 

At the start of the panic attack, Rick pulls away and starts struggling to catch his breath and I’ve always loved the detail of how when he first pulls away he still puts his hand up to reach to her, almost like he's both needing her and wanting to be reassuring to her even despite the fact that he’s in full panic mode. 🥲

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick has a quick glance at Michonne and then hangs his head down, out of sorts. And even just seeing the scars on him in this moment makes me so sad. 🥺 He’s been through a lot and for years he’s endured it all alone. This bedroom moment is one of the first times in a long time that he even gets to go through this internal anguish with a partner by his side.

gif cred: @nat111love

And again, the fact that this panicked breathing is similar to the anxious breathing he had when Michonne walked out the door earlier in the episode, goes to show he’s scared to be without her and to be with her. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick is struggling to look at her but Michonne gently takes his face in her hands and he looks at her as she assesses the situation, quickly knowing he’s having a panic attack. It makes me weepy how ready Michonne is to ever-so-gently help him through this. 😭

Also, y’all I’m in the camp of people who hear Michonne whisper “Look at me, baby.” If she didn’t say it…yes she did lol. 😋 And I love it. 😍

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick continues his labored breathing and Michonne does just the most beautiful thing ever when she takes his one hand and places it over her heart.

I love this more than words can explain - and yet, I’m still going to try to explain why I love it. 🥹😭🥹

Like the fact that her heartbeat is what can calm him in this moment. I'll never be over it. 😭  Something so incredibly beautiful about Michonne’s heartbeat bringing Rick back to life is that he’s feeling the heart that beats for him and has for years. She in every sense gave him her heart all those years ago, so it’s not just her heart he’s feeling it’s his own because they truly are one.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Richonne’s hands have always been given great moments throughout their epic love story, and this moment has to be up there as one of the best Richonne hands moments. 👏🏽

I love the way she’s able to get him to open his hand and relax as she keeps her hand comfortingly over his.

gif cred: @nat111love

It reminds me of their final handhold in s9 when Rick had his hand in a fist from frustration and Michonne was able to open his hand and have him hold onto her instead. That was their last real moment side by side in TWD and now here they are doing that again x10 in TOWL. Just beautiful. 🥹

And I love how you can hear how placing his hand on her heart is effective as Rick’s breathing does steady from feeling her heart. A heart that has beat for him all these years. 🥲 Never have the two felt more like one than in this moment. And I will forever adore and appreciate that this is how Danai wrote for Michonne to be able to calm Rick amid his trauma. He needs her heart. 😭 Always has.

They’re the ones who live and this is Rick becoming so aware of Michonne being alive and with him and it starts to ignite his own return to humanity.

The way Michonne looks at him with her eyes dilated and filled with love and tears as she so clearly resonates with the pain Rick is in that he has yet to express. 😭 You can tell she so badly wants him to trust that it’s okay to be present in everything he’s feeling with her and not go through this pain alone anymore.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

The way Michonne fully wraps Rick in her love during this panic attack is just the most moving thing as she silently assures him he’s in the safest most loving arms in the world. Like I knew those actors were wildly talented but what they both captured in this scene took it to an all new level.

And the way Rick has tears under his eyes. I can’t. 😭 The tear alone says so much. Like he's overcome with so many layered emotions, especially as it hits him that a moment this beautiful with Michonne is real - the most real moment of connection he's felt in years - and it's not going to be taken away from him this time.

So Rick looks up at Michonne for a moment and it genuinely feels like he’s looking up at the sun. And then he looks down at their hands on her heart. I love seeing Michonne softly slide her other hand down his face with her finger right where his tear has fallen.

gif cred: @clonecaptains

And then I am just blown away at Andy’s performance when you see something click for Rick as he truly just resurrects through Michonne’s love. 🥹

After looking at their hands and letting this moment of connection resonate, Rick looks back into Michonne’s eyes and I always liken it to when a PC computer turns on and makes that one sound. I feel like you can visibly see the moment Rick’s humanity turns back on in full force as he looks at her.

Rick really resurrected back to life by becoming one with Michonne, his undeniable other half. 🥹 Richonne is the unequivocal greatest depiction of soulmates. 💯

gif cred: @nat111love

So Rick, and Michonnne's Rick this time, looks in Michonne's eyes like he’s genuinely become human again after years and then he tilts his head and it feels like he’s finally seeing Michonne in her entirety now. Like he’s finally seeing her without the lens of fear or what could happen next.

After having been so focused on the fear of losing her, it feels like in this moment he's finally just being present in the fact that he found her.

gif cred: @nat111love

And in finding Michonne, his soulmate, Rick begins to find himself again too.

Michonne's effective approach of calming Rick with her touch and her heart helps Rick embrace that this isn’t a dream and she’s not going to burn away. Michonne may be burning up because of him but she’s not going to vanish.

By feeling her heartbeat it was like Rick finally let it sink in that she’s still here and she’s with him completely. She’s real. They’re real. They’re back together truly. It was a profound moment of the two becoming one being again.

And then the way they both have these dilated pupils and get this new wave of energy from that moment and their breathing starts syncing up and picking up as they return to kissing. Their beauty and the beauty of this moment are ravishing. I love that neither wanted to stop making love and once they have this moment they’re even more present in the lovemaking than before. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It really feels like there’s this transfer of energy between Rick and Michonne in this moment as she feels his visceral but suppressed pain and he feels her visceral deep love and we see love win out over the pain as Michonne helps Rick literally turn his humanity back on at full strength.

And then as Rick’s heart is literally jump-started again by feeling the love of his life’s heartbeat, he sends all that love right back to her because it’s so clear in this scene that everything happening to him is happening to her too. Like as he comes back to life it ignites her in a new way as well and just affirms so strongly to both of them that they’re back to being one the way they’re always meant to be.

So they continue kissing and Michonne has her hand tightly in his hair because of course. It's clear from Michonne’s noises that Rick has seemed to amp things up, we’ll say lol. Plus, Michonne hasn't been able to grab his curls like that in an even longer minute since Rick's hair was short the last time they were together, so you know she's happy to have that back as well. 😋

I love how Rick was finally realizing he’s not just someone who can harm her but who can heal her too and she’s not only someone to protect but to love limitlessly. We see Rick finally go from mission-minded to Michonne-minded and let the Alive Rick take the wheel from Dead Rick. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @lousolversons

In the last 24 hours especially, both Rick and Michonne have been through every emotion and at its most intense - intense fear, intense sadness, intense frustration, desperation, anger, longing, hopelessness, hurt, concern, etc, and now intense passion and pleasure. All of that could easily have caused a system overload or system shutdown for them. But I love how instead of just shutting down, they navigate this together and then get even more locked in with each other.

And then you really know the real Rick is back when he flips Michonne over and gets on top of her. It’s his favorite place to be, that's just canon. 😌 And you know Michonne loves seeing Rick take charge like this. Her man is always assertive with his affection and Michonne always seems here for it.

gif cred: @nat111love

It is such a sweet shot seeing Michonne looking up at Rick as she tenderly holds his neck. She loves him so much. It’s written all over her face. 🥹

gif cred: @nat111love

And then y’all, this show said you don’t have to wait until the Olympics to see some swimming on National Television. 🤭🏊‍♂️

Cuz they proceed to give us some um very up close and personal insight into Rick and that signature vein as the camera is all up in his face while he finally lets himself feel the full extent of pleasure for the first time in years.

For a while, whenever I saw this moment I was like can this camera back up a bit cuz now I feel like I'm intruding lol.

But the moment is very sweet in the regard that Rick is no longer fighting the fact that he can feel pleasure and be present in this moment with his wife. For so long he seemed to be punishing himself and killing himself and so it’s a big deal to see him finally stop that and enjoy this.

I think part of him thought he could engage in this intimacy with Michonne and only make it about pleasing her while remaining dead inside but again he can't be dead with her - and so in this moment he no longer tries to be, and that’s really heartwarming. 🥲

Seeing him smile knowing that this is the only woman in the world he wanted this experience with - it really is like a homecoming in a sense. Michonne’s hand on him the whole time is sweet too. And I just love that they waited for each other to open this side of themselves up to again. And to think, it wasn't even technically 'waiting' since they genuinely didn't know if they'd ever be together again. But they still only reserved this level of intimacy for each other. Rick and Michonne are it for each other, truly.

Then the scene ends with a really lovely sensual shot of Richonne through the sheer curtains as they kiss and just savor each other like they do best. ❤️

gif cred: @nat111love

And now I know I might be diving right into delusional territory with this next thing I say but I know some of you saw this too --- I am convinced that Michonne tells Rick 'I love you' in this zoomed-out shot. ‼️

For a while, I thought one of the only things we surprisingly didn’t get in TOWL was Michonne directly telling Rick 'I love you.' That was an interesting omission for an epic love story, especially cuz I def feel Michonne would say those three words outright at some point, after not being able to tell Rick those words for nearly eight years. Don’t get me wrong, she’s said I love you very clearly and meaningfully in many other ways, but still she’d say the direct words too. So it was odd when it seemed like that didn’t happen.

But now...y’all, my extra self is choosing to declare that it did happen. Because I promise she’s saying it to him in this bed. I'm telling you, she is. For real, she is! 😋 Look🔎 ⬇

gif cred: @nat111love

And again, if she isn’t…yes she is. 😇 Michonne-Says-ILY-In-This-Scene Truthers, rise. ✊🏽😋 And if by chance my eyes deceive me then let them lie just this once lol.

If it is the case that Michonne told Rick 'I love you' in this moment, it's extremely sweet. Especially because I had a feeling she’d say it once Rick was finally out of that CRM gear. Once she knew he was slowly but surely becoming him again. So while it's a non-audible, blink-and-you-miss-it moment I think we did get at least one Michonne 'ily' in TOWL. 😌

I love the way the scene ends with the piano and their silhouettes. Michonne is the sun to Rick so I love the way she aligns with the sun-like lamp and the way the last thing you see from the scene is her putting her hand in his curls again as they just continue to make love. And let me tell you, a scene like this is why it’s called 'making love' because truly this passionate moment was such a perfect manifestation of their deep, one-of-a-kind, soulmate love.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

This is Richonne’s first full-length sex scene and it was done so masterfully, memorably, and meaningfully. It was the perfect way to pull off such a significant anticipated moment between them and make it tastefully titillating. It genuinely feels like they turned that chemistry they have up to its highest volume and something rare and otherworldly was captured. 👌🏽

The way it wasn’t just physical but truly pivotal for their relationship and the story. The way it was as hot as it was heartfelt. The way they both came alive and restored broken parts of each other through a shared heartbeat. The way they profoundly depicted Richonne becoming one again. The way it was more than a love scene it was a resurrection.

Rick felt human after years of feeling dead. Michonne felt truly held and loved after years of not feeling safe. Tens across the board and truly an impeccable and impactful scene from beginning to end. 😌👌🏽

[papakhan]

Episode 1

Fuck it, I'm gonna do it anyway. Here's all the notes I took when watching episode 1 of the godawful fallout tv show. enjoy. I'm gonna run through this with notes I made while I watched the show so formatting might be kinda weird, I haven't done anything like this before so bare with me. I will try to explain things as if you the reader have not seen the show. This is gonna be very long and heavy on the hate and the spoilers.

Content warnings:

rape

incest

gif of the fight scene violence

self harming

Things I liked:

Vault Dwellers reusing the same wedding dress and everyone who'd worn it writing their names on the inside. that's sweet

"don't lose your head" vault poster during a firefight

Johnny Cash

I like Brotherhood Clerics but they totally fucked up the ranking system

The vault dwellers just painting over the blood on the walls

Horses are canon now

Goofy wasteland urban legends like "a feral ghoul does not abide a chicken"

That's literally it. Now it's time for everything else. I'll break it down into character bits since that's what the show does

Cooper

So Cooper Cowboy ghoul man is divorced and he's at this birthday party in I'm guessing Hollywood overlooking LA. It's a beautiful sunny day :) Bare in mind that in this scene the nukes drop so Bethesda has already fucked their own lore of the nukes dropping at 9:40am in Boston would mean that it should be 6:40am in California. Sunrise in California in October is 7am, btw. So already we're fucked. Real "design documents are a waste of time" behaviour on display here.

Anyway, nuke goes off. Now let me ask you something. What's one of the most infamous things about nuclear bombs? The flash, right? A nuclear explosion is bright enough to blind a person. Fallout 4 understood this, at least a little, where the flash of light from the bomb would fill your screen even if you weren't facing it, which is how nukes work. Closing your eyes in the face of a nuke would be pointless because the light would pass through your eyelids. There's even reports of people who held up their hands to shield the light and could see THEIR BONES THROUGH THEIR HANDS. That's how bright they are. They are horrifying weapons of mass destruction.

The nuke that hits LA is not a nuke, the flash of light on Janey's face (cooper's kid and the ONE SINGLE PERSON who notices a NUCLEAR FUCKING BOMB) is more akin to a camera flash. again. she is the only fucking person who notices a nuclear bomb go off, everyone else at the party is distracted by a TV of all things.

In the time between the ""flash"" of the bomb here's everything that happens before Cooper and co feel the shockwave

Janey notices the pathetic flash and looks up.

She holds up her thumb in the "vault boy" way

Cooper comes out of the house and walks over to Janey

He crouches down beside her and says some bullshit along the lines of "i got some cake for my favourite cowgirl"

Janey says "was it your thumb or my thumb?"

Cooper looks towards the source of the nuke and slowly stands up, watching it for a moment

He says "that's just a fire janey" as the smoke unfurls into a very obvious mushroom cloud

He realises that it was not. just a fire

then they get hit by a shockwave

This takes almost a full minute and none of the segments is supposed to be slow motion. Listen I know that light moves faster than sound and heat but come on. It's way too slow and also. dead fucking silent. also the shockwave comes before the mushroom cloud but who cares.

Anyway cooper gets on a horse with the girl and rides off down the road in the direction of LA. good job dude.

I've already read up about yknow who it was who wanted the nukes fired and I know that it was Barb who wanted the nukes dropped on America for?? vault tec profit??? so uh. why did she let Janey go to a birthday party with Cooper?

Lucy

x3 Incest jokes may not seem like a lot but it was 3 too many for me. I hate the "good karma" noise that played when Lucy got arranged married. I said I liked the vault poster of "don't lose your head" but I hate the way Lucy keeps getting her inspiration from Vault Boy I'm sorry but its annoying and dumb to me. Interconnected vaults in LA is also. dumb. you're telling me The Master didn't notice these fucking things? you're kidding. Look at it, it's not even hidden in a cave or anything its just out in the open.

Way to retroactively make the Master look like a moron, though I know they do this to Mr House later on. ugh.

Her intro makes it sound like she's supposed to have Tagged Skills in repair, speech and science but she displays none of this in the later episodes I have seen, in fact her speech seems like utter dogshit so what was the point in introducing her in a "game protag" way if none of that was gonna get used later?

Anyway, lets get onto the raiders. If you know me, you know I love raiders. They're a cool and interesting critique of individualism and "might makes right" and also aesthetically just kind of fuck.

Now, knowing what I know about Moldaver and her being the current ?leader of the NCR remnants, that implies that the people she has led into Vault 33 are former NCR citizens or soldiers, right? right?

So the ""fall of shady sands"" according to the show is 2277 and yeah sure okay that's during new vegas' time and sure okay right todd howard promised that this didn't de-canonise fallout new vegas. however. it's 2296 meaning it's been 19 years since Shady Sand's.......decline. and 15 years since New Vegas where we last saw the NCR. And i know that the NCR aren't exactly the good guys To suggest that in less than 20 years the citizens of shady sands have been reduced to Bethesda-style raiders who:

Are unable to use utensils such as knives and forks

Can't grow crops

Don't know how to use cups

Will rape a woman, wipe his dick on a curtain, and then try to murder said woman

Shoveling fistfuls of cake into their mouth during a firefight

Threatening a pregnant woman

In another episode one of these guys is interrogated/interviews and shows their asshole to the guy talking to him.

is fucking ludicrous

Anyway Monty looks like Jerma

RIP

Anywayyyy how come only Lucy's pipboy picked up on the radiation from these outsiders huh? everyone else was wearing a pipboy during the wedding, they sat next to each other, those geigar counters would have been going off. what? they had them on silent out of respect of a good Christian wedding? if you try to convince me that's the explanation I will eat your liver. Bethesda raider style

anyway no.2 girlypop (lucy) straight up pulls a knife out of her wound which is medical petpeeve no.9394328 for me but then its immediately resolved by a stimpak. I hate how stimpaks in the show are used exactly how they are in the game. I was under the impression that it was a video game mechanic and not how it actually worked in the narrative. What's next? Jet gives me extra action points or some shit? I'm so tired

the fight scene sucked. the choreography of the raider guy shooting a vault dweller through the head of another vault dweller just kind of looked like shit and seemed impractical, clearly just there to be like WOAH THATS COOL it wasn't cool it looked clunky and weird. do not fucking tell me that fallout is supposed to be clunky and weird I will kill you.

the doors cutting the raider in half was also dumb since its been routinely established that the dull and ominous "thunk. thunk. thunk" heard deep in the bowels of a vault is a door that's trying to close but there's something stuck under it, if they could just slice a whole man in half then they could cut through a table or skeleton in game. Also irl I'm a health and safety officer and that moment made my toes curl. lol

It jumps from Lucy to Max and then back to lucy but I'm just gonna continue talking about her shit here. quick fire round because I've been yapping too long already

Her little brother looks way too old to be acting like a teenager this much.

Chet (Lucy's cousin and ex boyfriend. gross) wants to come with her thank god he doesn't

why doesn't she give a shit about the sky

Why doesn't she give a shit about the ocean

Maximus

"stupid blimp is back" is at the very top of my notes, lol. anyway I still don't understand where they got this thing from

Latrines made out of stacks of tires is so dumb. like I cant even explain how dumb that is. surely rubber has better use for that. surely. just shit in a hole in the ground like everyone else please for the love of god

I know the twist with Daine and let it be said, having your first on screen transgender character cut themselves with razors to get out of the military is not, in fact, Bethesda trying to be on the side of transgender people, it is in fact them making fun of us, okay? do we understand?

hiding baby max is a fridge made me so angry I blacked out. do not remind me of "kid in a fridge" ever again.

Anyway Bethesda finds it so difficult to keep the BOS consistent to the point that they are all so different from each other with little to no explanation as to why they've changed so much. In fact it feels like to me that at some point between fallout 3 and fallout 4 Bethesda has totally mixed up the BOS and the Enclave, since now the BOS hate ghouls for no reason and want to colonise the wasteland. This is just that again. Once more, no design doc behaviour.

Quotes from the BOS i think suck ass

"Duty of the Brotherhood of Steel is to secure the wasteland"

"Flesh is weak by steel endures"

"Violence is a tool we use it to bring order to the wasteland"

When Max is getting interrogated for being a suspect for cutting Daine with razors, mentions "send me to Eden or wherever" and it confused me so much. The only Eden I knew about was John Henry Eden from Fallout 3. Turns out I think what they're trying to reference is New Eden a BOS base from. Fallout Brotherhood of Steel 2?? of all fucking things?? really strange I can't imagine what else he could possibly be referencing though. This is literally just thrown in for the loreheads and I hate it.

Anyway after being a suspect for cutting Daine with razors and also failing his classes Max gets a promotion! this is not explained. They also brand him which people a lot smarter than me have discussed at length about why branding a black guy on screen in your fallout show is a bad idea. Read it here.

I don't really understand why the BOS all do shit in latin now, I know some of them had latin names in fo1 but IIRC Frank Horrigan of the Enclave was the only person in the og games who spoke latin. it feels like Bethesda wanting to capture the interest of people who liked the Legion. maybe that's a reach but given how much right wing propaganda is in the coming episodes I wouldn't put it past them.

Cooper again

I am not calling this idiot The Ghoul that's fucking dumb. what like he's the only one? ever? dumb. whats up with him being buried huh? did Todd not want to tell Nolan that ghouls arent actually zombies and arent actually undead? that just wanted him to jump out a coffin because oooh spooky zombie. honestly just kill me.

My notes: "Don't tell me the ghoul is in that grave I can't take it"

this guy gets dug up once a year and gets pieces of him cut off and put back?? why? for what purpose? how is he down there without eating or drinking? is it a kid in a fridge moment where ghouls don't need to eat or drink, well he drinks a whole lot of water in episode 3 so that's afucking lie. get real. the glowing IV? what is that??

the yodelling is really gonna piss me off, isn't it.

Not him ending the episode on the same quote he said to his daughter. whatever.

Rating: 3/10

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let's talk about audio drama!

⏰ Nine To Midnight has its own feed now, which I appreciate, as a listener to many of the involved pods, because I didn't get like six iterations of the show in my feed. I did have to go seek it out though, but I'm so glad I did. These stories!!! These STORIES. The second episode in particular stuck out, just banger after banger. Also, what's up David Ault! Always fun to watch David Ault flex.

😈 Dungeons and Daddies this week was on the short side, but woof. I. Love. The Stamplers. I love them. I love you Ron Stampler and Terry Jr. Stampler and Scary Terri Marlowe Stampler. They are ridiculous and excellent. Honestly though, their wonderful energy was just the prelude to the truly heartbreaking Close clan. These boys are so deep in denial they ought to be worried about the bends. Yikes. I'm really looking forward to watching them try to save hell and make up for lost time.

⚡️ Electromancy! Of COURSE it's all happening at the dance. What kind of school story would this be if everything wasn't going to go down at the dance? Like with all fantasy about young people, I love the mixture of extremely high stakes (colonialism and revolution) and extremely low stakes (but what am I going to WEAR). I can't wait for part two. @electromancypodcast

👟 Keep It Steady!!! New episode of Keep It Steady! Our teenage burnout is faced with the mortifying ordeal of having real friends who love him, which is a wild thing for a teen to have to accept when he has zero self esteem. And then on top of everything, he gets concussed! My boy! @keepitsteadypod

⚖️ The Adventure Zone Imbalance has appeared on the feed, which is a relief to me, a person who hates listening to things on youtube. And Davenport is there! My main man! If y'all need to know anything about me, it's that I love Davenport. I missed these guys so much.

🚀 Travelling Light is a new show from @monstrousproductions, and I am THRILLED. I love a travelogue, I love a character with ties to religion, I love a warm scifi show, I love a recipe. I know from their tumblr that the writer and narrator of this show is Quaker, which is a tradition I'm not very familiar with, so I'm interested to see how that perspective influences this story. It's just so NICE.

👻 I started listening to Magenta Presents this week, in an effort to listen to everything Lindsay Sharman has ever done, and this is spooky. Beth Eyre is always a treat to listen to, and Lucy Roslyn, whose work I am not familiar with, is also a fantastic actor. They have great chemistry. I love a true ghost story, and I love a protagonist who feels like she's slowly losing her mind. @longcatmedia

🪓 I've finally arrived at the bit of Woe.Begone where other actors are showing up, and surprise! It's David Ault again! He's everywhere! I haven't interacted with fans of this show, so I had no idea, and apparently fans hate his character. To be fair, I did too, but now David's here doing the voice, and it's so much WORSE. Well done, David.

🍕 I finished s1 of Gastronaut and started s2, and I find myself enamored with this guy, coming from a place of relative privilege, tearing his preconceptions apart with a fork and a knife. The writing is lush, the story is fascinating, and it really hits the spot for me of "moody thoughtful nonfiction." I love it so much. I can't believe there are only two seasons. How dare they. (I trust them though.)

🧛🏻‍♀️ Re: Dracula is done, and we have announced Carmilla! My role in Carmilla will be less than it was for Drac, but I'm still very excited to get in on making this story. It's going to be amazing.

🧟‍♂️ The Dead's second episode has appeared, and I am continually impressed with the people I work with. What a death scene from Marquis Moore! What good acting from Brandon Nguyen! They are a joy to direct.

As for me, I'm about to start getting Inn Between ready to post! Are you hype? I'm hype. If you like what I do and want to give me a hand, please check out my ko-fi!

See you next week!

[propertyofwhitney67]

Saving Grace

DoL Whitney x Reader

Word Count:766

Warnings: PTSD like flashback/episode, allusions to rape/assault, the usual DoL stuff

I laid awake smoking and watching him sleep, he looked so peaceful and cute like this. A side of him I only get to see when we're alone. I looked around the room, much cleaner than last time I was over. I made a mental note to tease him about it another time.

I reached over to the ashtray on the bedside table and ashed the cigarette I stole from Whitney. As I did he shifted and gripped my hip tighter to keep me from moving. I smiled down at his sleeping form. Face scrunched up, hair a mess, and only wearing sweatpants he looked perfect in my eyes.

I don't know how I ended up here, but I'm glad I did. In a way he's been my saving grace, my sanity. I continue on for him. Without him I don't know where I'd be, maybe the underground brothel or farm. I still get nightmares about my time in both of them.

I don't think he knows about all of it. What I have to do and what I've done. It's for the best he doesn't, I don't want to think of what'd he do. I leaned over again and put out the butt of my cigarette in the ashtray.

I leaned back into the pillow as he shifted again, this time sitting up. "Dreams again?" He asked groggily while rubbing sleep from his eyes. I gave him a silent nod in reply to which he replied with a hum.

He reached out and manhandled me into a position he liked then laid down face first into my chest causing me to laugh. He playfully slapped my thigh and pulled the blanket over our bodies. Once comfortable enough he grabbed hold of my right breast and used the other as a pillow, "They can't hurt you here." He said quietly into my chest, making me smile sadly. The dreams are never ending just like the encounters. It makes me want to hide away with him, but I have to face the world and this shitty town with its shitty people.

I ran my hand through his hair making him hum in satisfaction. I continued to pet his hair till his breathing evened out and was asleep. I stayed up longer to admire him more, but eventually I too succumbed to sleep. The dreams aren't as bad when I'm with him.

I dreamt of a dark room and shady people. Pink humming lights and crowds cheering. The full picture always left me when I woke, but I always remember the feeling it gave me. I opened my eyes and quietly looked around fearing the worst but only finding Whitney's plushies. His bathroom door was cracked and the shower was running.

I sat up slowly to get my bearings. I was safe, I was ok. Nothing can hurt me here. But I can't stay…and there's always one right around the corner, watching and waiting. More will follow. I grabbed Iggy the whale, his favorite plushie, and held it tight as memories started to flood in and refused to leave. I could feel them all around me, grabbing and groping. The words they spat and the horrible things they called me. And god the smell. Everything was beginning to spiral around me when I was suddenly pulled out.

I peeked open my eyes and looked up to find a pair of worried blue eyes…Whitney. He looked distressed and frantic. “There you are slut.” He said with a sad chuckle, trying to keep it together, and loosened his grip to let me sit up. I didn’t move, just continued to stare. Waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. “It's just you and me Y/n.” He tried to reason with me. I could hear the earnestness in his voice and looked around to see no one but us. 

I took a deep breath and realized how close to tears I was. I sniffled and wiped at my eyes to keep the tears from falling. I sat up on my knees and looked at Whitney. He still looked distressed, but he was hiding it the best he could. “I’m sorry….” I trailed off not really knowing what to say. I just had an episode, a flashback I guess you could call it. They always felt so real. 

For the first time since coming to I realized he was only wearing a towel and was still wet from his shower. “Don’t fucking apologize.” He said with his voice breaking at the end. He pulled me close and didn’t let me go.

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

[snaplight-anxiety]

Okay so here’s my piece on the lighting in alex rider

Alright. So s1e7 happens, you think everything went well and it’s all wrapped up. But at the end of it, they shows alex still in the school, looking roughed up and we realize that he ALSO had a clone (which, though hinted at through the episodes, I at least had forgotten about bc come on! everything is good now!) and you realize that you can’t tell, of the two (one left at the school, one taken home) who is the clone and who is the original.

What I found really fascinating was how they portrayed the two to play up that confusion. The one left at the school is consistently shown in well lit scenes. I'm pretty sure he’s always in bright lighting or at least with no obvious shadows. In the sequence where he goes from the rubble to the study, inside the school itself, there aren’t any ominous shadows or shots that stand out to me. Instead, there are big windows with lots of light from outside. It just feels eerie in the fact that he’s alone and all the evil inhabitants are gone (presumably). When he gets outside, he wears a bright yellow coat and the snow is bright white and makes the scenes themselves even lighter.

On the other hand, the Alex they brought home is shown consistently in darkness. In e7, he looks at the helicopter that comes to save them with a blank, confused and almost cynical look. When he gets back home Jack and Tom are there to greet him, but he ignores them, goes to his room, and closes the door in their faces. He is consistently facing away from the camera, or his face is entirely in shadow so you can’t see his expression.

It makes my brain go a little wild and I think it was a pretty ingenious thing to do, because one, if there hadn’t been a clone, it would be a pretty smart and realistic way to convey the idea of Alex coming home and not being able reconcile his old life and what he’s lived through bc they’re so conflicting and he has trauma and it’s like this veil has been lifted; everything about him is different but everyone expects him to go back to normal and he can’t.

But because there is a clone, because of the double that was left behind, those lighting choices cast doubt over whether or not that’s the real Alex. Is he acting closed off and different because he’s a different person metaphorically or literally?

Especially because we know the clones are evil, the choice to put one in darkness and not show his face and the other in bright scenes and colors (along with the scene where Tom informs Alex about the dance and the fact that generally the clone plot twist implies that the character you’ve mostly been watching isn’t who you thought he was), it adds up to making you think they got switched and Alex (good guy, well lit) has been left behind. The clone (dark, shadowy, motive unclear) has been taken in in his place.

But then you see the one who was left behind bash someone on the head with a rock and steal his car (still in the brightly lit shots) and you realize that you really cannot tell who is who. Because the storytelling of the lighting and shot angles is telling you one thing, but the actions are telling you something completely different. It forces you to confront the idea that maybe you didn’t really know Alex at all and maybe he always had that in him, because the one in England is obviously the evil one right? But Alex is the protagonist, he couldn’t have done that. And yet….

I go wild for the use of lighting as a physical plot device, because it isn’t really something I’ve seen before. Usually lighting in film (from what I’ve seen) only implies things about characters (dark=evil, unclear faces=hiding thoughts) or places (not well lit=bad things will happen/jumpscares/hiding things from the audience and characters) the way the music does. It’s all in the background. It isn’t particularly noticeable, because it generally fits with the direction the atory is taking. But the way it is used here as a purposeful misdirection is fascinating. Somebody thought we could use this and they did and it paid off. It’s a very masterful way to take advantage of the type of media they’re using to convey the story. Actually, I think that’s really it. It’s a brilliant adaptation of book to tv, because it conveys the same confusion in a new format in ways you don’t usually see in book adaptations.

Usually adaptations have trouble going from words to a screen because they’re two separate kinds of media and very different ways to communicate. They’re basically two separate languages. A lot of times, trying to get the book’s message through to film doesn’t work out because in books, you can read the actual thoughts and feelings of the characters. On tv, you have to figure out a way to convey that through pictures and dialogue. And this segment specifically of the alex rider show did it brilliantly, because they saw the options at their disposal and figured out a way to translate writing to film with specific components of film that make it make sense in a visual context.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 11: Overseas Training

Izumi: Uhh, this is 7th Avenue so…

Tenma: Over there?

Muku: Oh! You're right!

Misumi: We made it~!

Kumon: That's a large crowd!

Kazunari: Pics will look fire no matter where you take them! Yukki, Kumopi, look over here~!

Yuki: Alright.

Kumon: I luv New York! (1)

[Snap]

Kazunari: C’mon, c’mon, you three as well~!

Izumi: (Even though we just got off a 13 hour flight, they're all so lively. That's the Summer Troupe for you.)

Izumi: (But still, this decision to come to the US sure was sudden…)

[Flashback starts]

Yuki: Training in the US?

Tenma: My Father suddenly messaged me.

Tenma: There'll be a film festival soon, so he asked me if we wanted to go to the US for a study trip. Apparently the office will cover the travel costs.

Muku: Eh? The costs!?

Kazunari: If they're paying for it, Furuuche-san will be OK with it too.

Kumon: I wanna go to the US!

Izumi: But is it really okay for us to accept all that..?

Tenma: I think he also feels bad because he couldn't do anything for us during all those troubles with Amadate.

Tenma: I think it's okay for us to go ahead and accept it.

Tenma: The States’ entertainment industry has more to it than just stage plays and musicals.

Tenma: They’re also one of the leading players in design and fashion, so we’ve definitely got lots to gain.

Tenma: Father told me that if we want to win the Fleur Award, Japan's most renown theater award, we as actors need to experience theater at its core.

Yuki: I am interested.

Muku: The fact that Issei-san is active on a worldwide level makes his words all the more convincing.

Izumi: Then… Let's take him up on his offer.

Tenma: Yeah. I think it'll also be a good opportunity for us to refresh our knowledge.

Misumi: Let's go~ to the US!

Kumon: I can't wait to board a plane!

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: (Although a lot happened with Issei-san during the Summer Troupe's debut…)

Izumi: (Right now, he's earnestly supporting Tenma-kun on his road as a stage actor. I'm really grateful.)

Izumi: (Our stay here will be short, but I hope they get inspired and learn a lot of things.)

Muku: If you move a little to the left, the building will be in the picture.

Kazunari: You come too, Director-chan!

Misumi: Let's take a picture together~!

Izumi: Ah, okay!

[Snap]

Kumon: There's so many people~

Yuki: This is a tourist spot, so everyone's taking pictures.

Tenma: It's probably extra crowded cause the film festival is coming up.

Kazunari: I'm so hyped~ There's no way we'd be here if we weren't invited.

Kumon: I wonder if we'll get to meet any world-famous celebs~

Tenma: But first, we have to go to see the show.

Muku: Oh, we should start heading for the theater.

Izumi: The theater is– ah, this way.

-

Kumon: That was so cool~! I feel so woozy, it's like I'm still watching the play!

Tenma: I've never seen a production like this before, and the actors’ performances blew me away.

Tenma: It really reminded me of the infinite possibilities theater holds.

Kazunari: The lighting and the sound were so cool too. Everything was full of power and I could feel the passion! It was like a treasure trove of ideas! 

Misumi: It was so fun~ I couldn't tear my eyes away, I was so excited and my heart was beating super fast!

Kumon: Yeah, yeah. It was like I was on a rollercoaster and felt every emotion at once…

Kumon: I couldn't understand the language, but I felt so many emotions~

Muku: The actors also varied from each other. Not only in their ages, but also in the way they acted…

Muku: It seemed like all of them were taking full advantage of their strengths.

Yuki: The costumes were also great. This is what stage costumes should be like.

Yuki: This really is the real thing. You can tell that all these professionals are competing in order to improve and create something new.

Izumi: (They're all inspired in their own way. I guess there are things you will only understand once you see them up close.)

Izumi: (It's only the first day, but I'm glad we came…)

Muku: It's all in English, but I got a pamphlet.

Kumon: Me too! I can't read it at all though~

Muku: Let's read it bit by bit with a dictionary when we get back to Japan.

Kumon: Yeah! Looking at the credits, there's some people with Japanese-looking names. Like the costumes person, Aiko Kataoka– (2)

Yuki: Ah–

Muku: Do you know them, Yuki-kun?

Yuki: Yeah. She's famous.

Kumon: That so~

Yuki: I see, this person is…

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

NOTES:

(1) he says this in english with katakana. figured the luv would be a cute addition

(2) aiko kataoka's name is written in english. i italicized it to make that a bit more clear

[gonedreaminggg]

in response to @xerith-42 's post about shadow knights because the brain rot is so real.

all of these ideas come from @xerith-42 i just wanna give my take on some of them

I fully believe SKs run hot. the SKs that died and are now undead are made from fire. their new bodies are created from the lava and ash from the nether. And, with SKs like Laurance, who never died, they still had to go through a transformation. It's mentioned as extremely painful. One of the most painful things in the world is being burnt alive. Shadow Knights are one with the nether, and one with the fire and lava that engulf it.

Since Laurance isn't a full SK, I imagine him just completely forgetting to eat for days and passing out and scaring everyone. The malnutrition and lack of sleep don't actually affect his health, but he can definitely hit a stopping point.

I'm also imagining Aph asking Vylad what day it is and he says some shit like "December 14th" meanwhile its a blazing hot summer.

For the doll headcanons (from @adepressedgaydragon), all I can think about is heavy dissociation and the catatonia that can come with that. Sure, the ragdoll-esque episodes that SKs have are because the doll-like features come with being an SK, however its also because they are all so mentally unwell, and eventually they have to just shut down.

I do think that each Shadow Knight resembles a different kind of doll. Gene being porcelain makes so much sense. He is so chaotic compared to the other SKs we know, yet he seems so fragile. Especially with his temper.

I love Sasha being a wooden doll. I feel like she creaks when she walks.

I think all of the doll features progress the longer you are an SK. The progression stops once you answer the calling, but the symptoms don't get any better. If an SK decides to not answer the calling, they might fulling transform into a doll. It reminds me of Medusa, as well as the amulets that let Zane open the Irene dimension.

Laurance's symptoms took a while to kick in, and they still aren't that bad because he's a very new SK compared to the others we've met. He reminds me of a rag doll. He's very light on his feet, but he also seems really clumsy. Plus, with the disconnection that he can feel from his limbs, he trips over his feet alot.

I do think that Laurance has to let out his anger every now and again or he's going to literally explode. He'll never admit it, but there have been times where he's so close to hurting Aphmau. Then, he just has to leave and let out his anger. He's beginning to hate her. He still loves her, however since the calling has latched onto her, her presence makes him livid. Laurance is just not okay in the slightest. He's had no time to heal. He's a product of his environment, and it's been so chaotic.

I feel like Garroth is the only one who can truly see past Laurance's "condition." I think it's because he has such a one-track mind, in a good way. He sees past people's faults so easily, unless they are there just to cause harm. Garroth just sees Laurance as Laurance. He understands that being an SK is just part of being Laurance.

Being a Shadow Knight is all about balancing scales. There are two sides to everything. The calling being to kill the one you love. Dying yet being so alive. Having so much power, but being as vulnerable as a paper doll. When the scales are finally tipped is when Shadow Knights gain their immortality.

I honestly don't know if this makes any sense I'm quite literally shitting words atp

[cringefailcabitha]

Just idle thoughts in light of the finale from accidentally saying a lot in IID so. It may seem to end rather abruptly? but:

Whenever Cabby is important to a scene if not straight up in it it has something to do with her trying to trust people or her confidence or how the people around her perceive her and. Before she was eliminated, Yes there are times where she comes off as cocky or pushy but I agree with Clover saying she was never a particularly malicious person. Imo by allowing Cabby to win it like. Shows her that the confidence she lost was not unwarranted and that there was never anything wrong with her using her files. The way she interfaces with the world is fine and she deserves to be celebrated after all the work she put in and what she went through.

For a lot of the show Cabby struggles to form proper connections with some of the other contestants because her disposition came off as intense in a way that intimidated the others ("I'm a tryhard, remember?" I think there are a lot of situations in real life where people can tell when someone is putting a lot of effort in and they find it offputting. Hello social outcasts can you see inside this parentheses). Like. Remember when Test Tube in episode Two said "Fan's discomposure is... understandable. Even I'm not feeling up to par today. But Cabby's just got so many notes! How can I compete with that?" Note how she's fretting about how she can "compete with that". Despite them being on the same team, And Cabby giving no indication that she wanted to compete with the two of them at that point.

None of the contestants that find her intenseness to be uncomfortable really try to understand her or examine why they feel that way until she gets eliminated and rejoins and even then. It's not until episode 12 that she receives sympathy or attempt to understand from any other players on her team, Which I find rather sad, But. After 3 episodes of her gone and the only person that was "close" enough to her to know anything about her being the same one who betrayed her. It seems like everyone sort of accepted what Test Tube said without thinking about it, Since they were all nervous about Cabby anyways for reasons aforementioned,

And then Test Tube, being the kind of person she is. She has a strong sense of justice but I don't think she is very perceptive when it comes to other people's feelings so the combination of already being intimidated by Cabby's disposition, Fan getting eliminated, and the information Cabby has being extensive to a point where if she was not a good person she could use it to cause quite a lot of trouble, She assumes that Cabby must not be a good person and once Test Tube decides something like that (that someone is not a good person, or that they are at fault for something important to her) she becomes really stubborn when it comes to that person and, to varying degrees, Closes herself off from understanding their point of view (Suitcase, Fan, Lightbulb, Microphone). So of course when Cabby comes back she immediately assumes Cabby must be out for "revenge" like she's some sort of supervillain and that eliminating her "is what needs to be done". And when she gets eliminated in spite of her own efforts she tries to leave without really saying anything to Cabby about how she actually feels about everything that went down. Which Cabby being the kind of person who just Has to know why, Couldn't let her just leave like that. And Test Tube tells her that "it's great" that she "cares about all this" but all she's done is "make people scared of her" which I think is something that holds true for Test Tube herself because who came up to her and told her that they were afraid of Cabby?

And how exactly is Cabby supposed to take a revelation like that, except by trying to overcompensate by attempting to put away the parts of herself she thought might be intimidating people?

[notstilinski]

Burrow's End Starters !

Taken from the first episode (The Red Warren) of Dropout's Dimension 20's latest series, Burrow's End! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers present!

That was so good. That felt really, really good. 

Hi, I am (Name). I am small, and I'm (Name). That's my real name.

British people are always lying. 

Hey. (Name). What's going on, baby?

Perfect. It's like we don't feed you, but we do.

I was eavesdropping. 

Eyes? Eyes on me?

Wonderful. It's so good that we're all together and secure.

I think (Name) is like the sun. People are just drawn to them and pull up under a sunbeam and…

Well, you know me. Fearful is a sort of default, so perhaps.

Trust me, I wouldn't be where I am right now without you. I'm not going anywhere.

Let's breathe together. Slow it down. You are safe. Do not let the fear drive you.

Okay! I'm not going to not do it. You don't have to throw this energy at me.

I had to teach them that there's more than fear. 

You know, we have to laugh together to get through these very dark times, and going together is better than going alone.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this, (Name). This is incredibly kind.

You know, (Name) was asking about you the other day.

Big "'cause I said so" energy.

You're a good person. You're a good person, (Name). 

I just think it's time for us to stop worrying about others protecting us, and worry about protecting ourselves.

I'm scared, aren't you scared?

I mean, it's all bad out there, really.

They should know! It's a shitty situation. The world is fucked, I tell you!

We don't have to move, 'cause we can fight them!

This is awkward, and I'm sad I was here.

Don't threaten (Name) with emotional damage.

I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. I'm sorry, I forgot.

Yeah, you're so close to death.

You seem very anxious, (Name). Is something the matter?

This is making me sad and scared.

(Name) up making notes from everything they heard. Like the Charlie Day meme of the board. 

What's happening right now is this. We're all going to stay together, because we're a family.

The monster's coming.

How did you know something bad was happening? How did you find out?

Where are you, (Name)? (Name)!

Stay. Stay here.

You gave them names as you were eating them.

They just yells cult shit at you, and you feel a little bit better about what's happening.

No, don't do that. Don't do that, don't do that. No, no, don't do that.

No, I've got to protect my family. 

There's no hiding from this. There's no hiding from (Name). 

(Name), get the fuck down here!

We! Are! Surviving!

Did we ever get candy? We never got candy. 

They never, ever, ever gave us anything.

Everyone was doing what they had to do to survive, and that is understandable, but I owe you all an apology.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Last Twilight had the worst ending...

I know, this is old news and the series ended a week ago BUT I have exams coming up, so this post got delayed. Anyway, here's my opinion about this ending after reading a bunch of MDL reviews, all saying the same: The way Last Twilight ends is insulting.

This series totally missed the point, the ball didn't even look at the goal and went the other way. They messed this up so badly, I'm mad. I can't even laugh about it 'cause it was such a great series. Episode 9 made me weep ... and then came everything else.

We spend time with Mhok and Day, forming a bond though they seemingly have nothing in common. Day is very self-centered and wants to be pampered but Mhok doesn't go all the way. He's his caregiver but he draws lines. There's a problem rising in the background: Mhok is too nice. He never calls Day out for crossing the line, he talks his way around it, he makes sure Day still feels warm in is heart. Mhok is the kind of person who desperatly needs people around him and he keeps them close no matter what, so sometimes, he's misunderstood or overshadowed. I hoped for some kind of conflict about Day taking but rarely giving. There's only one scene where we can see a glimpse of it. It's just one line and 10 seconds and the series goes on as if Mhok didn't say anything, as if it was a joke but it was so much more and I wished for a conflict like this but it never really came.

"Day, I think you can be so inappropriate sometimes."

It's what Mhok says in episode 8 when they wake up at the beach after partying all night. I felt his line, I sat here like "exactly, tell him!" But sadly we won't get to know more about this. Every conflict, every scene and every little action is about Day. It's so much about Day that Mhok doesn't get to say honest feelings like that even if those are negative. Because yes, Day is inconsiderate. We follow his struggles after turning blind. Even after a year, he didn't get used to it and he projects his lack of self esteem on other people, trying to find something others like about him, so he could learn to like himself as well. And Mhok gives it to him because Mhok gladly makes him feel at ease and Mhok is a people pleaser. They both have their own journey and arc but I feel like their relationship is unbalanced. Throughout this entire run, I felt like these two needed to get rid of this inbalance in order to be able to move forward. The conflict is inevitable BUT the thing is, they didn't go through with it.

The inbalance is the reason for their conflict but it's not solved or named. Mhok gets the job offer abroad and declines. It's his decision and I'm very sure he didn't make that decision entirely about Day. Leaving the country is not something one instantly does and I understand why he doesn't want to go. Yes, he doesn't have many people holding him in Thailand but leaving is still hard and not an easy decision. I get that. Plus Mhok and Day are adults, they are in their twenties, they are no children. While Mhok actually behaves like he thinks about many factors before making a decision and is careful about his next step and what it would mean, Day just makes everything about him and his blindness. Yes, Mhok is probably staying because of Day. No, he's not staying because Day is blind. That's why their relationship started, because Mhok didn't see Day in a different light, because Mhok doesn't care if he's blind or not. I am so frustrated thinking about it lmao

Well...I hate their breakup since they are not properly addressing the real issue. Day says he's holding Mhok back and Mhok says he's afraid of losing people which Day chooses to ignore. Mhok's story starts the day his sister dies...Day knows Mhok doesn't have a family, yet it's about Day's blindness??? It's so inconsiderate that it's insulting Mhok's entire personality.

This series refuses to let the characters work on their relationship together because of this stupid "cursed 11th episode" thing. Mhok and Day are insecure when it comes to the other but they could go on the journey together and see the world in a brighter light. But no, Mhok cries on his own while Day had two people hugging him and nobody cares where Mhok went - not even Night. I was so disappoited how this all turned out.

The breakup is not even the worst, it's what comes in episode 12 that really made me angry. What do you mean, three years have passed? Mhok and Day never tried to talk it out? Mhok never reached out? Mhok thanks Day for the break up? Where am I? What is this? I'm crying internally.

Anyway, we see Mhok coming back for the wedding and as soon as he sees Day, he randomly starts hitting on him...? First of all, the way they talk to each other lets me assume they have stayed in contact or reached a mutual understanding, so why have they not talked it out? They seemingly haven't been talking about their conflict at all but why are they so friendly? Shouldn't they be mad at each other or not talk at least? Instead we see an extremely happy Day and an inappropriatly flirty Mhok. Their personalities seem to have been thrown out of the window and we get too many scenes of Day saying he's uncomfortable and Mhok pushing himself into Day's space. It's aweful. The wedding was sadly very uninteresting, I skipped the speaches and I certainly skipped that weird dancing scene. What was all of this for?

And then, they get to talk. Mhok apologizes and Day is finally a grown-up. I understand where both of them are coming from but that little talk didn't go anywhere. Their conflict still hasn't been resolved. After another forever they hug it out and happy end. Well, okay. I guess Mhok realized he put Day before everything which he shouldn't have done and Day was too selfish to see Mhok suffer. It's fine for me, not the best way to show us their growth by inserting a three year time jump. I'm still not sure in what way they have grown or how much they each overcame their issues. It's very lazily written.

But then they hit us with THE worst ten minutes I have ever seen.

Day gets his eyesight back.

I'm sorry, what was the point? Did the writers change? Did they have amnesia? This is not what the series was about, is it? We see Day starting to accept himself though the struggle never really stops. But still, he owns a book store, he went to university, he goes outside and is not too shy to ask for help. He doesn't overthink what people may whisper about him when he walks around or eats outside. He is much more confident and shines from the inside. He's not insecure any more. This series showed us his journey of learning to live with a disability.

And then this disability is healed and his life is shown as much better than before. What a message.

It's so insulting.

And the last scene made it so much worse. They look at the sunset where Day lost his eyesight (and "turned into stone" (I cried so much)) and he has the audacity to make fun of Mhok's "do you still think I pity you." I was so pissed, that line meant so much to them both back then and now it's made fun of? Never make fun of moments when you were at your lowest, Day. I love Mhok's face because he's going through it. He smiles it away but he's a bit awkward lmoa

But seriously, what an ending. It's so bad... The show is just great but the last episode is so low and lazy.

[fakekojimo]

Watching Digimon Hunters. And man, Yukio Kaizawa deserves more respect on his name.

Prefacing with me saying that I'm fully aware of the show's problems, with a good chunk of them resulting from the fact that this show wasn't even supposed to exist. Even Digimon fans who jackshit about anime production knew something was up when a new season was suddenly announced towards the end of the original Xros Wars. Years later this interview got translated and it had the scriptwriter admit that's what happened. As per usual Toei doesn't give a shit about Digimon, but what else is new.

And then you throw Kaizawa into the mix. His usual bread and butter is crafting Urban Fantasy settings for kids with an emphasis on horror but balanced out with a hint of whimsy. (Shows like Hell Teacher Nube, Kitaro, Fun Fun Pharmacy, and Digimon Tamers.) I've always had a soft spot for that genre despite being far too old for it... Scaring kids is hard! You gotta hit that sweet spot of being scary without turning them off from the genre entirely. Forcing you to craft varied scenarios that plays of their fears and anxieties while still making it fun and compelling. Kids like to be scared because they like being put in scenarios where their fears are taken seriously. At least that was the appeal for me when I was younger.

Tangents aside, that's the area Kaizawa excels in and that's the setting he crafted himself for Digimon Hunters. Much to everyone's dismay, both fans and to everyone working on it.

With such short time and such a drastic change in premise you have to retool everything from the ground up. Can barely reuse production materials from the first season since it's set in the real world, gotta design new characters, backgrounds, and even a whole new Digital World! Given that this was such a last minute decision it couldn't have been easy. And given the fan reception it didn't work out, but for me? Speaking personally? I'm eating this shit up. Even as someone who loved Xros Wars S1 too.

I was already hooked by the pilot alone! Kaizawa's pilots for Digimon are hands down my absolute favorites because they capture the thrill of the usual "call to adventure" with an eerie undercurrent. Normally Digimon protagonists end up stumbling into their roles as the main character, but Tamers and Frontier have Takuya and Takato- who willingly seek out that call without fully understanding the dangers of it. And Hunters is no exception. It's even more fitting since Tagiru is an impulsive (but fun!) dumbass though. And that eerie undercurrent is prevalent through Kaizawa's cool and chilling direction.

Hell, even the more light-hearted scenes still have that off-kilter feel to them. The lighting from the arcade machines.. And that close up! Man!

The eeriness reaches it's peak with Tagiru meeting the clockmaker. What should be a triumphant of our MC getting his Xros Loader feels more like making a deal with the devil instead. The old man's space has such a unique atmosphere compared to the rest of the episode and I already found the pilot to be enthralling on it's own already! Truly feels like the old man hijacked the show and you're watching something else entirely.

I'm sure some fans are bound to have reactions like "How did the guy who directed Tamers direct this?" or something similar like that. There are tangible connections between the shows; with the most obvious being both series being Urban Fantasy-like, but also the brutality of the situation. Tamers makes in an emphasis to show that Digimon are wild creatures who will kill if not properly tamed, clashing with Takato's view on what being a "Digimon Tamer" really is like. And Tagiru goes through the same in the pilot. His enthusiasm for the Hunt coming to a screeching halt when Gumdramon goes off to attack himself, only to get absolutely destroyed. It's a brutal ass moment for sure, and something that consistent with Kaizawa's work and by extension children's horror too. You can't scare your audience by holding back!

I just love Yukio Kaizawa man.

I'm still early on in the series and I'm watching it through the lens of it being a Ghost Game/Kitaro-like show. Where Digimon function more like Yokai that prey on young children's fears in a myriad of different ways. Coming at it from that angle instead of Xros Wars sequel proper; I've been really enjoying it from that angle! Needed my children's horror fix and the show really does deliver on that. I know this one post isn't going to change the show's reception overnight, but at the very least it invites you to look at it a different light.

Plus I just wanna spread more Yukio Kaizawa propaganda.

[shipcestuous]

I think Alicent's recent behavior towards Aemond, while harsh on the surface, actually makes a lot of sense. On the one hand, she's a deeply religious woman (even if you the take the Seven-Pointed Stars in the Red Keep as only a show of Hightower power, she kept lighting candles for her mother through the years and extended her habit to include even Luke, and she thinks her acting for pleasure rather than for duty deserves divine punishment) and Aemond's just knowingly made himself a man "accursed by the gods" by committing possibly the worst sin he could think of. (Yes, the whole Dance is about family fighting family, but there's an ethical difference when you're not at war, even if a war is likely to break out soon.) On the other hand, Aemond's proved to her that she can't even trust him to go on a simple diplomatic mission (go to Storm's End, propose an alliance by marriage, get an answer, leave) without him losing it and just making their political and personal situation worse by murdering people he's not supposed to just because he can.

And that's just staying on the surface level. Going just a little deeper, Alicent's probably desperately wondering how the sensitive little boy she raised, comforted in his moments of despair, defended against his bully of a brother, stood up for to his father and her husband and king, raised a dagger at her former best friend and the heir to throne for, and watched grow into a sometimes impulsive but still dutiful and devoted young man, could ever turn into the kind of person who brutally kills his own family and then doesn't even feel any way in particular about it. To me, that little "Aemond is angry" speech felt very much like she was fishing for a way, just any way at all, to justify his actions so as to be able to look at him again like she used to. "Well, if you think about it, Luke did start it when he took his eye and wasn't punished for it" or something to that effect.

Remember: she's not in Aemond's head, and she can't watch the previous episodes or look up the transcripts online. And the face Aemond presents to his family is that of man who simply did what had to be done, was in control of his own actions and doesn't come even close to regretting them, and equates compassion for the enemy with foolishness. I'm convinced the Madam of the brothel was the first and only person he expressed his real feelings to... and even there, it was all "oh, I do regret that whole business with Luke," almost as if he were talking about the mocking toast to his "Strong nephews" instead of how he accidentally got him eaten by Vhagar. Our boy's just not good at vulnerability, even when he's willingly making himself vulnerable.

That's why I think Alicent's reaction is a feature, not a bug. She's a fallible human being dealing with her own deep-seated issues while acting on what little and incomplete information she has, not Super Mom, whose powers include mind-reading, instant forgiveness of anything and everything her children do, and the ability to switch off her own feelings and ideals as needed. I'm afraid that, realistically, Aemond and her will only keep drifting further apart from here (also because of some things that happen in the book and would make sense if it were somehow tied to what's happening in the show right now) but if they lived in a kinder universe and had the chance to resolve their conflict... I feel all it would really take to get back to the awesome mother-son duo we had before would be Aemond actually talking to her and explaining what really happened.

Would Alicent still think he's made some very poor choices? Sure, because he has, objectively. But I think she would also be just so, so relieved and happy her boy's still there under the mask.

This is weird comparison, and it may even be out place all things considered, but, remember those old Simpons episodes where Bart would do something rash and stupid like steal from the mall or dangerous and cruel like shoot a little bird? And then Marge would draw away from him and kind of into herself out of the belief she'd completely failed as his mother? That's what these two remind me of at this point. Except, in The Simpsons, you could always count on Bart to prove he was better than he seemed and on Marge to come around by the end of the episode.

And as I said, I don't think Aemond and Alicent will have the time or the right state of mind for that.

Really well put, Anon.

I think the characters have all made choices that make sense. It's just a shame we're on a train that's slowly crashing.

[canmom]

I'm sorry, looks like my tone didn't come across the way I wanted. I just felt slightly uncomfortable when, in a review where you deservedly pointed out how some jokes in Adventure Time repeat tropes that hurt trans women, fat people, disabled people etc. you yourself made jokes that repeat tropes that hurt adopted siblings.

Hi anon. I did get a bit defensive, definitely. Let me give you a more genuine answer.

So yeah, textually Finn and Jake are adoptive siblings. This is so far mostly played for humour - Jake's dad is a very silly caricature of a father, the rest of his family have not yet been introduced at this point (I don't think we've met Jerome) - but I think it's absolutely fair to say the dynamic they're going for with Jake's relationship to Finn is 'cool older brother'. It is kind of a failing of media literacy that I didn't pick up on that, thinking of them more as 'bros' in the figurative sense (very close friends). And I can see how that could make joking about Finn and Jake's relationship feel tasteless.

We could talk about the thin line between fictional portrayals of close sibling relationships and romantic ones (c.f. Azula bedroom scene). Bearing in mind that we're talking here about a cartoon boy and a cartoon dog - Finn and Jake are symbols. They invoke various associations based on the needs of the narrative. Trying to read it based on real human relationships is at some point going to founder against the fact that nothing about this show makes sense in 21st century human terms.

So I was reacting to a story about two boys who live together in a treehouse, do everything together such that they're basically treated as a unit, and constantly display a great deal of emotional sensitivity towards each other, which often draws parallels between their relationship and established romantic ones (for example, the gladiator episode, or the 'do the thing I like' in S4E16). Notably they don't really tend to show Jake in a 'sibling who takes on parental role' light either. I certainly don't think the show intends a romantic reading as the primary one by any means lmao, the way the show indicates romantic relationships is not subtle, but I found it amusing that it gives grounds for that reading at all.

But like sure. I don't mean to treat adoptive relationships dismissively. They are precisely as meaningful as 'blood' relationships and I'll keep in mind that it's an incest joke if I ever feel like making that kind of joke again. (which I probably will, because that just makes it funnier.)

That said, I do think the narrow focus on 'social justice' criticism as my only approach, particularly in the 2018-era liveblogs was... a limiting frame, to put it mildly. It's not that I think I was wrong, exactly, to find things like the early Ice King plots tedious. Princess Bubblegum for example becomes a much more interesting character once they start playing up the sinister, tyrannical angle and drop the 'love interest' frame.

But there's more going in this work of animation on that it would have been interesting to talk about. And having seen the alternative in the painfully didactic cartoons that have become the norm... well, I regret worrying so much about frigging Adventure Time of all things lol

[buppypuppy]

I may be asking an obvious question if your url is anything to go by, but

Your favorite Gundam and why?

Well technically Beguir-Beu isn't actually a Gundam it's just a normal mobile suit, if anything it's an anti-gundam considering the big tie line balls on its wings deploy antidote neutralizing the link to the GUND format BUT that's semantics. It's my favorite mobile suit because I just love how like... Insect-y it feels, I love how most mobile suits are like. They have their quirks to them but still retain a look of humanoid-ness to them. Whereas, with Beguir-Beu, the head is reminiscent of a mantis, the back rig opening and closing feels like elytra, and the big blade weapons also feel like mantis claws too. Also the color scheme is gorgeous.

To answer the question of what my favorite Gundam is Gundam Barbatos from Iron-Blooded Orphans :+) I'm not done with it yet, but IBO is definitely my favorite Gundam series because of just how gritty it is. And usually the whole thing of "oh, it's a gritty reboot, it's so edgy" is done horribly, but IBO does it in a way that works so flawlessly. The lore point of beam weaponry being outlawed as a reason that melee weapons are more solid and weighty and all of the firearms being ballistic is So fun. Everything just feels so utilitarian and I adore it, it gives a real "fortunate son" type of vibe. I love how Tekkadan is such a ragtag group and various elements enforce how bonded everyone is with each other, and also that it intentionally reminds you that most, if not all of the members, are kids.

But about Barbatos, I just love how like. Intense it feels. Melee weapons in Gundam are by no means uncommon, considering most Gundams come with beam sabers, but the fact that it's purely metal is so delightful. The weightiness of its mace is so fun, the hydraulic action with the spike in the center that gets displayed in the third episode is so fun, it just feels so brutal. Plus the point of Barbatos itself having some level of sentience is So much fun! I love Gundam as a whole thing dearly but oooh I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish the mobile suits were sentient, it's why I'm so fond of IBO and G-Witch. The moment in IBO where Mikazuki is talking about his aspiration of finding somewhere peaceful, and asks Barbatos if it wants to see that too, and its eyes light up in response made me nearly start crying when I saw it. It was incredible.

Also, I think the design of its chevrons is super fun but fucking hell is it hard to draw.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

MAG11 - Dreamer, review and stuff

Diversity wins! The guy who dreamed about your death is gay!

I was hesitant to write this one because I didn't know where to start. Not because it isn't good, I love every single episode of The Magnus Archives, this whole exercise (reviews etc) brings up a few questions to me, what's the point of consuming horror media if I am not scared by it? Can I truly review it if I'm not scared?

And, in relation to MAG11, is death scary?

Well, personally I find the horror genre intriguing, and highly dramatic. It's a dark fantasy that you won't have the chance to experience in real life (or at least, I hope so xD). TMA plays with probability, rather than impossibility, even if there are some fantastic elements in the mix. Every episode is a promise, or a threat, horror and fear would find you anywhen and anywhere. Not even the Dreamer is safe from this promise.

Can I review the hell out it? Yep, yes I can. I can be objective, and I can analyze how well constructed everything is. Have you ever reached episode 200 and made a relisten? Do it, you won't regret it.

Death is scary, is the only certainty in life and at the same time, is paradoxically, uncertain. Everything ends, that much we know, and Antonio Blake doesn't seem to think there's nothing after.

I always think about this quote from Doctor Who when thinking about death, maybe it's useful for you

(Transcript: Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor in The Return of Doctor Mysterio, "Things end. That's all. Everything ends and it's always sad. But everything begins again too and that's always happy. Be happy.)

And talking about quotes, let's comment some bits from the episode:

"I’d broken up with Graham, my boyfriend of six years (...)" - Antonio Blake, March 14th 2015

Yes, yes, weird thing to remark, but hear me out: Graham? Graham?? Is the same Graham as in Graham Folger????

"It was there, sleeping on my friend Anahita’s sofa, in the depths of my misery, that I first started to have the dreams." - Also Mr Blake

Woah, take a seat misery etc, I'm this dramatic too

"I found myself standing atop the very peak of Canary Wharf and overlooking the Barclays building where I had spent so many hateful hours. Behind me I could feel the pulsing beat of the light that stands atop that looming tower; it thrummed through me and I could see the glow pass across my skin like oil but, try as I might, I could not turn around to look at it." - I don't know why it's so appealing.

I tried to recreate it with a screenshot from Google Earth and Photoshop, the result doesn't convince me but it's pretty close xD

"Lucid dreaming has never been a skill I’ve possessed, and I generally get swept along in the current of whatever runs though my sleeping consciousness." - I love it when horror characters get logical, like, uhm, this shouldn't be possible, sir, this is a Wendy's

"And by my estimation he had appeared about ten days before his death. I tell you this because I feel you have a right to know the sort of timescales that we’re dealing with here." - Antonio "may as well just roll with it" Blake

He is so chill about all of this, isn't he? Like, yeah, I have this weird ass powers, I figured out more or less how they work and hey, you're next

"I’m well aware that I don’t even know your name, and I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you." - Antonio "I'm doing it anyway because I'm that chill and cool" Blake

"At the very least, you should look into appointing a successor." - LMAO

" I have no idea if Gertrude got the chance to read this statement before she passed away, but if anyone comes in ranting about dreaming my death, then I very much want to hear about it." - Jon "anything is bs except Leitners and prophecies about my death" Sims, April 15th 2016

Sir, with all due respect, wtf

General overview:

Vibe: it's mysterious with a side of peace and quiet

Horror: spooky, just plain old good spooky

Audio: pretty ASMR in general

Humour: Jon, why are u like this

Score: 10/10

[countenanceblog]

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Raj, ever the optimist, tried to maintain a sense of normalcy, though a nagging feeling of unease gnawed at the back of his mind. "Hey guys, thanks for inviting me over. What's up? Everything seems a bit... off today."

Rufus grinned, his usual sarcastic charm intact. "Oh, come on, Raj. You're just being paranoid. We're all good here, same old, same old. That was a weird story though."

Xander chuckled. "Yeah, don't mind Raj. He's always looking for drama where there is none." He smiled.

Raj chuckled nervously, trying to shake off the feeling that something was amiss. "You're right."

The conversation continued and the three of them bantered around Ralph's kitchen table about the latest episode of Apollo Jimenez's radio show on paranormal activity. It was all light-hearted and carefree.

But as time passed, Raj noticed subtle changes in his friends' demeanor. Rufus' sarcasm turned darker, and his jokes had a biting edge that Raj hadn't seen before. Xander's humor became more sinister, his words laced with an unsettling undertone. He didn't seem drunk, either.

Raj couldn't shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong, but whenever he tried to bring it up, his friends brushed it off with nonchalant responses.

"You guys sure you're okay? You seem different," Raj ventured, his concern growing.

Rufus raised an eyebrow, his gaze locking onto Raj's with an intensity that sent a shiver down his spine. "Different? Nah, we're just having some fun, Raj."

Xander's distant and detached expression added to the unnerving atmosphere. "Yeah, it's all good. We're just playing around. I'm a little too direct for mind-games."

Despite their reassurances, Raj couldn't shake the feeling that his friends were not being themselves. It was as if they were acting out a script, hiding something.

As the conversation veered into more bizarre territory, with Rufus and Xander discussing strange occurrences and twisted realities, Raj's discomfort grew. He began to question his own sanity, wondering if he was trapped in some sort of nightmare. "Yeah, what if we were dead?" Rufus asked Raj suddenly. Something sank in Raj.

"Okay, guys, this is getting too weird. Are you messing with me? Is this some kind of elaborate prank?" Raj finally asked, desperation creeping into his voice.

Rufus and Xander exchanged knowing glances, their smiles stretching into unsettling grins. "Oh, Raj, my dear friend," Rufus said softly, "you have no idea what's real and what's not, do you?"

Xander's laughter echoed in the room, hollow and haunting. "Maybe you're not experiencing real life, Raj. Maybe you're just stuck in a dream, unable to wake up."

Raj's heart pounded in his chest, fear and confusion overwhelming him. "This can't be real. You guys are my friends, not some figments of my imagination."

Rufus leaned in, his voice a sinister whisper. "Are you sure about that, Raj? How do you know what's real and what's not? Have I ever acted like your fucking friend?"

Before Raj could respond, the room started to distort and fade, and his friends' faces blurred into darkness. Space and time seemed to stretch around him, and he could feel he was being watched closely.

His feet lifted up off the tile floor, which was all that was left of the room. Somehow, the androgynous voice of Sadananda came thundering through his own mouth.

"Your soul is ours."

▲

The man in the suit motioned to the man in the lab coat, who had an icepick lined up with Raj's tear duct.

"Do it," said the small vampire with a goatee to the man in the lab coat. The man in the suit nodded. The pick plunged into Raj's brain, and thoroughly scrambled it.