#I feel like a grandma and I’m not mad about it

[i-like-old-things]

Not me geeking out over the fact that my band is going to Williamsburg for a week next year

[lesbiansanemi]

Oh god. I have to see my family in three days

[shithitsmynipples]

Called the dentist to inform them I’m sick. The receptionist was very nice and told me not to feel bad about it and to feel better thank god

[willowfey]

ignore this i just wanna ramble in the tags for a sec i’ll probably delete it in a bit 🤪

[fagrights]

last two days have been so.. umm a lot they’ve been a lot

[soupicore]

i hate summer bc i’ve had my worst experiences during summer, my worst days, i’ve been depressed every summer since forever, this is the first summer i’ll be working full time and it’s the only reason i’m not crying on my bed like every other summer of my life.

[perytonpred]

-

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

What makes you a good person

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your a peaceful person you like to keep your peace. Your someone who goes with the flow your ok with change and new things even if your scared of a situation you know it’s all going to be ok. You stay true to yourself you’re not flashy you don’t flex your money or newest finest things you have. You see things from every perspective you’re not quick to judge you know everyone comes from different paths in lives and may see things differently. You may have struggled with mental health, anxiety or depression in your childhood or teen years this really played a part in who you are today. You may be a teacher or want to be a teacher of some sort or had a teacher in your life who you looked up to I’m getting miss honey and Matilda vibes. You make what seems impossible possible. Someone here could be 22. You have a lot of stability you’re ready for anything. You see everything as an opportunity. You don’t let people get in the way of your path in life. You know how defend your self you usally don’t tho if someone says something about you you just like I feel sad for them like “you must be miserable to hate on me” but if you need to defend yourself you’ll snap and get your point across.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Being a good person may feel hard sometimes. it’s like you do everything for everyone and get nothing back. You over work yourself for people who don’t deserve nothing from you. You’re worrying about pleasing others over your own happiness. You may feel like being a good person gets you nowhere. (I’m sorry love if someone in your life and doesn’t appreciate you you need to cut them off you deserve so much more then people who don’t appreciate all you do, you are so important and you will find someone that will appreciate you.) You take care you others I’m getting empathetic energy like if someone around you is sick your fast to get them whatever they need because you remember what it’s like to be sick so you wanna help them get better. You stay committed your very goal oriented if you put your mind to something you’re doing anything to get there. Someone here may be very close to their grandma or used to when they were little. You find a way to see the joy in fun in life even when things aren’t easy. You’re good at giving advice you know just what to say in any situation. Someone here may have very long hair or like to their elbow. You know how to keep a promise. You need to learn to cut people out your life love someone in your life isn’t good for you.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

You use past situations to help better yourself. You work well with other people and groups. People see you as approachable you have a very friendly energy about you that makes people wanna talk and be friends with you. I feel like you’re a very good friend always checking up on people making sure everyone’s ok and making sure no one feels left out when y’all hangout. I feel that sometimes your face may say other wise tho lol someone here may have a rbf or just look mad or tired sometimes. You are good in relationships you were made to me a lover I’m hearing “best I ever had”. When you have kids you’re going to be the best parent you are going to love those kids so much And unconditionally. I feel like having kids is going to change you for the better if there things you don’t like or flaws you have become a parent is going to change all of that. I feel like you’re a trustworthy person people trust you with many things. You look out for people you love and protect them from people with ill intentions Your able to see the bad in people and they will think there slick and getting away with it but you see right through them. You have a mothering healing energy people feel safe around you being around you just feels like a big hug. You have a very soft submissive girly energy.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for tricking my grandma into misgendering her cat?

Background: my (19F) grandma (67F) is a southern baptist and pretty conservative. My cousin (Matt, 24M) is trans, he came out to his parents and mine about two years ago because he knew we would be supportive, but he waited until he was on T a couple months and was mostly transitioned socially before he officially came out to our less supportive relatives, like my grandma.

Since Matt came out to everyone else (which he did by showing up at family Christmas with a “hello my name is” sticker on, which I thought was hilarious) my grandma has refused to use his correct pronouns, name, or anything, saying “it’s hard to switch” as an excuse. Matt has cut off contact and everyone else in the family just kind of avoids talking about him around her.

I am in a weird situation because my family lives the next street over from where she does, and we have always been pretty close. Since she started being so shitty about Matt, though, I’ve put more distance and just stay polite when she’s over.

Okay so now to the AITA part. About two months ago my grandma wanted to adopt a cat, and my best friend volunteers at an animal shelter so we were helping her. We showed her pictures of some of the cats and she saw an older male who was all black with longer fur and said she wanted to adopt “her.” I started to correct her saying it was a male cat, and then realized the opportunity I had so I kept my mouth shut. I made a point to handle all the adoption stuff for my grandma so she never saw anything indicating the cat’s male-ness, and then brought home her new “female” cat, pink collar and all.

Last week “Miss Kitty” (such a creative name) got a paw injury and at the vet they told my grandma the cat was male. My grandma told me and my parents about it when she was over for the Fourth of July (we had family and friends over for barbecue, including Matt’s parents). I made a point from there on to continue using “she” for the cat and still calling “Miss Kitty” instead of “Mister Kitty.” It took her a minute to notice but finally she called me out and said “he’s a boy, stop saying she.”

I immediately snapped back with “oh so it’s easy for you to switch the name and pronouns of your cat but not your own grandson?” Everyone got quiet and she got all flustered, trying to say it’s different, but I just said “oh okay, so you put more effort into using the right words for a cat who doesn’t even know English, got it.”

My mom told me to stop and leave it alone. I said “I’m just saying, it’s pretty clear who she cares about more.” And then my mom told me to leave the table if I was going to act like that. I just got up and took my plate in the kitchen and finished eating.

After everyone left my mom lit into me and told me that what I said was cruel. I said I was just teaching her a lesson and that maybe now she would think about it different. My mom said that I just made things worse and humiliated her on purpose in front of everyone. My dad had been quiet but then just started laughing. He realized that I had been playing the long game, and it wasn’t a mix up at the shelter- I led my grandma to believe the cat was female. He basically said “that was wrong but also hilarious” and now my mom is mad at both me and my dad. When Matt’s parents told him he thought it was super funny and said he isn’t mad at all.

My mom wants me to apologize, but I am not sorry about what I said. I don’t know if I should feel bad about tricking my grandma, because I didn’t technically outright lie, I just didn’t correct her when she assumed the cat was female. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[miheartsedthings]

All The Lovers in the Night

“Smells like rain.” 

Billy glances from the movie he’s watching to where you’re leaning on the window sill, your nose nearly pressed against the screen. 

“Hm?”

It’s cool out, early spring. 

“Rain,” you say again, “C’mere.” 

Graduation was months ago, and since then you and Billy spend as much time as possible together. Now, you’re at his place while his dad is away on a business trip. Susan doesn’t stand in the way of you being together, as long as you all have some idea of which friends Max is hanging out with. She’s with Lucas and the others, so you and Billy have the house to yourselves and you’ve taken up in the living room. 

You’re on your knees in front of the window beside the TV, transfixed by the little green yard and the trees just beyond. All settled under graying clouds. Billy comes to stand beside you. 

“Smells like…” he pauses, leaning down and closing his eyes. He’s been so at ease since his dad left. Since his ribs healed and the nightmares lessened. So much more thoughtful. More like his true self than he ever would’ve been before. 

“Kinda like ocean.” He says as he looks out. He’s smiling but only with his eyes. 

“Yeah,” you say, taking another big inhale. “Wet dirt, and like…” another breath “the way it smells on foggy mornings, ya know?” 

He nods. He sits down on the hardwood, one knee bent as he reclines on the opposite arm. 

“You’re missing your movie,” you say. 

His eyes are far away, looking out into the sky. 

“It used to be quiet in our house when it stormed,” he says. “My grandma lived with us and she used to make me and my mom huddle up in the living room and pray until it passed. Normally, my dad bitched about everything that woman said, but…when it stormed, something came over him, too. Everything would just get mellow and we’d sit there…damn. I forgot about that.” 

A cool, damp breeze rolls over you, and slowly a shush drums up from the ground as the rain starts to fall. Quietly at first, and then louder, filling the air with scattered water and the sour smell of soil. Billy loops an arm around your waist and pulls you into his lap. He tucks his face into your neck and kisses the chilled skin before returning his eyes to the window. You settle into him, closing yourself into the warmth of his arms. 

“There’s so much I wish I could change about what happened to you.” 

Your words feel thin. Maybe they’ll slip right out the window and be trampled by the rain. Broken through like butterfly wings. 

“I know,” he says “I know what you'd do for me if you could.” 

His arms tighten around you, somehow bringing you closer to his chest. You know the words are meant to be comforting, but they make you feel powerless. You sit there drowning in all the nothing you can do to fix the things he suffered with. Before you know it, you’ve sniffled, and he turns you to face him with a hand under your chin. 

“Hey,” he says, his face tightening into a stern glare. “You don’t get to be mad at yourself about shit you can’t change. Remember we made that rule?” You nod, but it only makes it worse that he cares so much. “Keep being a crybaby you’re gonna get yourself in trouble.” 

A laugh bursts out of you, regardless of your tears. He’s able to make you laugh whenever he wants, it’s like some weird superpower he has. He smiles a little and kisses you, letting his lips linger. 

“Don’t worry,” he says. “You can’t have more regrets than me and shit…I’m here.” 

You’re flooded with more words, more sentiment than you’d ever burden one person with. It’s too much. So you kiss him again and try to telegraph it all through the dense space between your internal self and his. You try to send him healing and care. Compassion beyond description. Forgivenesses not yours to give. All of it. Everything. 

For a moment, when he’s filling you, you think he feels it. By some miracle of the body and the sound of rain, he finally feels how much you love him. You’re so happy you could die. 

Artist Credit: Cécile Berrubé

[muwapsturniolo]

✯Chris dating a black girl ✯

-he would be so lost but in love

-he gets whiplash with how much you change your hair (different colored wigs, different braids, etc)

-“wasn’t your hair just blue yesterday?”

-would try and run his finger through your hair and would be scared when his hand gets stuck

-he tries to put on all your bonnets

-“why the fuck do you have so many?” “Mind the business that minds you Christoper”

-LOVES THE GLOSSED LIPS (he loves the brown lipliner combo🤭)

-buys you lipgloss from a store but gets confused when you tell him it’s the wrong one.

-“it’s lipgloss how is it wrong?”

-introducing the beauty supply✨

-he’s amazed by everything in the store and keeps trying to touch everything

-“stop touchin! My momma would have popped you by now!”

-tries to convince you to let him get a durag

-“chris baby, let’s not have you get canceled.”

-gets scared by the mannequins

-he gets stuck reading all the perfume oil names (his favorite is ‘lick me all over’)

-���you lost baby?”

-he gets scared when a auntie speaks to him but he feels warm at the pet name.

-“no?”

-stays by your side for the rest of the trip

-blushes when the aunties hype him up for paying for all your stuff.

-if you’re close with your fam, he loves going over.

-“is your mom making her peach cobbler!?”

-plays fornite with your brothers

-listens to your sister complain about their boyfriends

-if you’re not close with your fam (like me) he will listen to you complain.

-“my auntie need her shit rocked for real! I’m tired of her ass!”

-“that’s why her kids got taken. She can’t keep a man and she can’t keep her kids!” Chris chokes on his drink.

-his first cookout he was mad confused when your mom (or whoever) told him to only bring the paper plates.

-“I was going to bring cookies!”

-“bring the paper plates, ion have time to back up your cookies Chris.”

-almost cries when he doesn’t see Pepsi in the cooler and sees RC.

-looks at you aunt/grandma crazy when they demand you to make his plate first.

-“look at him! He don’t have no meat on his bones! You be starving him y/n!?” “Ion even live with him!” “A damn shame, come on baby let’s get you a plate!”

-he fucks up the food! He had three plates

-“he fuckin that shit UP!” Your cousins try to clown him.

-nervously laughs and nods along to your uncles talking about getting girls and dominos (old head shit)

-your cousin offer him to take a walk with them and he says yes but then you gotta snatch him up and tell him what that means.

-he definitely embarrasses you trying to dance.

-“I told you to only get up to the cha cha slide!”

-“I wanted to dance!”

- takes home four plates

Lemme know if yall want more of these!!!

TAG LIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @that-general-simp @iloveurgf

[reidslovely]

She’s Having My Baby (Maybe) Pt. 2

Content Warnings: Mention of pregnancy..duh, throwing up, overall pretty fluffy 

Pairing: Frat! Peter Parker

You ask and I deliver. The pregnancy tests are back and they are....

Please instead of liking/hearting this post leave a reblog and/or comment 

Everything around Peter began to blur slightly as the words fell out of his mouth and the vomit crept back up your throat. You stared at him, tears starting to fall down your cheeks as you swallowed roughly.

“Positive? You..you’re sure.”

“All three…positive.” He confirms looking in the sink and back at you, his hands placed firmly on the sink. “Oh baby, oh baby no don’t cry.”

He’s rushing over to you hands taking your cheeks in both hands, fingertips brushing tears off your cheeks. “Shh..talk to me. Look at me bashful please.” Peter’s touch could always settle you. It was some weird phenomenon that you both discovered a week into sleeping together.

“Where’s ya head hmp? Are these happy or sad tears?”

“Happy…scared. But, happy.” You manage your words out. His ears tingled hearing your heartbeat going back and forth between patterns. “Oh my god what if it comes out with eight legs and four eyes.”

Peter held back a laugh at the pure panic of the thought and nodded. Going through his mental scripts of possible responses before shaking his head.

“I have nothing to say that could possibly make you feel better about that possibility.”

“Oh god.” Peter hugged you tightly, knowing the possibility was slim to none. “I got you.” He was swaying in spot smiling to himself kissing your temple. “We gotta tell May.”

-

To say the days that passed in a weird blur was an understatement, most of your time was spent with Peter. Getting lunch, making doctors appointments, him walking you to and from class. Peter was the most clingy you’d ever seen him. You thought your hormones were only supposed to bother you but it was like Peter’s own senses and sensitivity increased by twenty percent. Which you saw in full when telling May the good news.

“You guys both have class today. What are you two doing here?”

May asked putting her bag down as she came in still dressed in her scrubs. Peter smiled, letting go of your hand patting the spot next to him for May to sit. “What’s going on? I’m nervous”

“We just had something to tell you and we both wanted to be here to do it.”

May’s brow furrowed, her hand searching your hand for a ring before clapping her hand over her mouth. You smiled nudging Peter letting him know the time is now.

“We’re gonna have a baby..she’s pregnant.” Peter says after your encouragement. Tears rolling down his cheeks, it was the first time he had said it out loud. Peter wiped his eyes trying to laugh it off breathing out a small ‘fuck’

“I’m gonna be a grandma.” May says her lips are quivering. “I should be mad..I gave you the safe sex talk but I can't because I’m gonna be a grandma.” May’s voice cracked with joy pulling her nephew..her son into a bone crushing hug. Peter’s joyful sobs could be heard in the hug. You laughed with your hand resting on your stomach.

“How far along are you?” May asked to move over to you holding you in a hug. “That's a Peter question, he did the math to the exact.” You laughed leaning your head on May’s shoulder.

“Three weeks and five days almost a month” Peter smiles sitting on the other side of you.

You and May laughed at the three of you sitting in a hug.

-

The frat brothers were starting to catch on that something was off. Harry especially. He’d passed Peter's room multiple times, the two of you laughing, your shirt pushed up over your stomach Peter’s attention clung to it like he was waiting for something to happen. He’d been pestering Miles, Peter’s freshie, to see if he had spilled any information to him. But he hadn’t, which lead to Harry cornering Peter himself.

“You guys okay? You’re acting weird.” Harry asked Pete one night outside of a party. He had noticed how you hadn’t had a single drink and how Peter had his arm placed around your waist territorially.

Peter took a long drag of the cigarette passing it back to Harry. His lips fought the smile but his joy betrayed him. “I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“I hate you, fucking tell me,” Harry whined holding his hands out dramatically to his friend. You stood in the doorway laughing, walking towards Peter. “Just tell him Pete, he’s a uncle he has to be prepared.”

“What?” Harry stated looking between the two of you confused before his eyes widening. “I fucking knew it..”

“No you didn’t” Peter laughs as he and his best friend trade a hug. Harry engulfed you in a hug, picking you up slightly in the hug. “Easy, don't jar the baby.”

“You guys are having a baby?”

Miles yelled out as he walked out the back patio. Peter laughed and tilted his head back over his shoulder. “Come on, join the celebration.”

“You know now that he knows the whole frat is going to find out by the morning.”Harry teases the freshie leaning his arm on Miles' shoulder who awkwardly laughs.

“I know..” Peter laughed, his hand resting on your waist, thumb stroking your hip.

“You worried about a…”

“Superhuman pregnancy? Absolutely I’m not sure how we are gonna play it off. I’m waiting to hear the heartbeat any day now.”

“You guys have been hooking up forever I’m sure you can pass her off as further along.”

You nodded, resting your head against Peter’s shoulder closing your eyes as he practically held you up. “I’m gonna get these two to bed and I’ll be back down.” Peter says putting his beer down and turning you around.

-

As Peter helped you change and got you into bed you smiled peppering his face with kisses any chance you could. “Pregnancy has made you so clingy, bashful.” Peter teases laying next to you hand rubbing small circles on your stomach.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You laugh laying on his other arm turning to look at him. You open your mouth to talk but Peter shushes you, hand from your stomach clapping over your mouth. “I hear it” He says excitedly. “I can hear it, it's small but…it’s there.”

“The heartbeat?” You ask as he presses his ear to your stomach. You felt jealous that Peter could hear it, this one moment you cursed that you weren’t bitten by a radioactive spider as a teenager. You’d have to wait a couple weeks till your next appointment before you could hear it.

“I need you to tell me if you’re a boy or girl.”

“They can’t hear you yet!”

“She has a heartbeat at only three weeks who's to say she doesn’t have ears by now.” Peter says kissing you and your stomach excitedly. “I gotta go tell Harry and Miles.” He says flinging himself out of bed and running out of the room.

-

It took a month before the whole frat and your friends found out. Miles did his best to keep it in for as long as he could but he and Harry had gone in together on the first baby present and instead of getting it shipped to May’s like they had planned Miles kept the delivery address as the frat house and when the baby carrier showed up on the doorstep he had outed the secret to Joey and James, who then proceeded to tell the other brothers. The word spread around your friend group so fast that you and Peter couldn’t even stop it before getting greeted with hugs and congratulations. M.J. and Betty calling you immediately to verify the information.

Which made walking into the common room of frat and everyone sitting around less awkward coming back from your doctor's appointment. “This is not a baby shower.” James says, putting his hands out. “But we wouldn't do something nice for our friends and our newest little brother.”

“Or sister.” Harry says. Peter smiled looking at you, his face pressing into your hair. Tears were already building in your eyes as you tried to blink them away.

“So come sit, the chair is for bashful.” Harry laughs standing up. “Sorry Parker you're standing.”

Your hand rubbed over your bump already poking out a bit. You were big for about two months along and everyone couldn’t help but to comment on it but it wasn’t too big of an issue for people to be speculating.

“What is this?”

“Some necessities. You got a stroller.” James says pointing to the black stroller. “We tested it in store made sure it was safe.” You laughed and looked at Peter imagining what these ten or more frat boys looked like in the baby sections of the store testing a stroller.

“But open this one first.” Harry pleads, placing a small bag in your lap.

You furrowed your brow and reached in the bag pulling out a dark red onesie with the Theta Tau letters on it and all your friends' names scribbled on to the onesie with a message. “Oh my god.”

“I fucking love this.” Peter says placing it on your bump. “Oh she’s so wearing this home from the hospital.” You smiled at how Peter always referred to the baby as she, he wanted a daughter so bad. You think back on him referring to himself as a girl dad when you first told him about the possibility and your heart swells.

“I don’t even want her to wear it, I just wanna frame it cause it's so precious.”

“Oh she's so wearing this to game days, parties, everything.” Peter laughed, folding the onesie and putting it in the bag.

“Let's open the rest of these, yeah? We spent most of our monthly money in the baby section if the boards  ask if it was for a social event.” James whispers, pushing the next book towards you.

-

You stood in Peter’s room at the frat house looking at the massive bump as you stood in a pink dres as Peter labeled a few boxes that needed to be moved back to May’s. “I’m huge.” You sigh turning to Peter with a pout.

“No you’re pregnant and don’t forget you're so sexy.” Peter says standing up kissing your cheek, his hands resting on the bump rubbing slowly. “Get me all types of worked up looking at ya’.”

“You’re right. I’m still hot.” You smiled leaning against him to kiss him. “She is going crazy today.”

“I know I hear her moving around in there.” He says pushing a few boxes against the wall.

“Stop, no you can’t.” You say hand on your stomach as you start to walk down the stairs. Peter fixing the buttons on the pink button up.

“I absolutely can. She’s got a real future as a swimmer.”

You couldn’t help but cackle, grabbing his arm walking down the steps towards the party. You hear your friends filming the ‘Hi I’m so and so and I think your gender is…’ and you laugh at some of their statements. “Are your parents gonna FaceTime during the reveal?” Peter asks, sitting you down on his lap in a pink lawn chair. You nod holding his hand on your bump resting your head against his.

“And these are your parents.” Miles says panning the camera over to them.

“And we think you’re a girl.” You smile. “But Miles already knows and he’s been so good that I couldn’t even get it out of him.” You hummed, and Peter nodded knowing how hard you tried.

Mingling while nearly eight months pregnant is extremely hard. Your feet hurt, you’re tired, and all you really wanna do is sit down in comfy clothes and watch TV. But being with your people and Peter helped. Everyone was so sweet and they weren’t always trying to have their hands on you. May was supportive keeping you hydrated and entertained when you weren’t feeling up to walking around and talking.

“He is so excited..you both are.” May laughs looking around. “It’s nice to see everyone coming together for you guys. I was worried Peter would never have this type of connection with people..I’m glad I met you.” May takes your hand squeezing.

“May I’m hormonal, you're gonna make me cry.” You say fanning your face. You kissed her hand and hugged her.

“Okay everybody, time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for!” Harry announces standing on the table getting everyone's attention.

“If Miles and I could have mommy and daddy over here please behind the chemistry table thank you very much.” He says jumping down resting his arm on M.J.’s shoulder.

Peter took your hand walking you behind the chemistry table smiling at the set up in front of him clapping his hands excitedly. “So Peter and our girl here are going to mix these three combinations. Two will turn green and one will turn pink or blue to show the gender.” Miles explains. Peter puts on his safety goggles and helps you with your glasses smiling.

“You’re loving this aren’t you?”

“Absolutely I am.” He whispers, kissing your head as you both work together mixing the (Non-harmful) chemicals to get reactions.

After mixing you two stepped back taking your glasses off watching the mixtures bubble and foam the first two turning green and the last one taking its time. Foaming over into a light pink color settling into a dark pink liquid.

“It’s a girl! I knew it..I fuckin’ knew it.” Peter yells, hugging you with excitement evident in his tone. You knew he’d be excited no matter what but this was a whole new level. You jump up and down hugging each other. May and your main group of friends flooding you both with hugs. You knew your baby was coming into an amazing and supportive family.

-

The spring semester had ended and you and Peter moved back into May’s attic which Peter had worked hard to turn into a bedroom and half nursery. It looked beautiful but Peter had also turned his old bedroom into a full nursery after May insisted it would be best for when the baby was a little bigger and she could help out. He was so excited and anxiously awaiting that anyday know his little girl could be here. You didn’t lift a finger: Peter made dinner, carried you up the stairs to bed at night, basically bathed you..everything you needed done Peter did for you.

Which is why him working late with Octavious tonight was stressful and anxiety filling for you. May had came home earlier but she was sound asleep in her recliner, and you’d really hate to bother her for a drink and snack. In the dark light of the living room you stood up, trying to gain your balance. Waddling into the kitchen you grabbed a green tea from the fridge and a small bag of chips from the bowl.

“Oh fuck.” You gasped breathlessly, a shooting pain in your lower left side. You grabbed the counter and took a deep breath and started timing it in your head. You started your walk back to the living room before water gushed out from between your legs. “May..May!” You whisper yelled looking at her already sitting up.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, sit here.”

She says watching your panicked face sitting you down she rushed to the hall bathroom grabbing a towel dropping it over the puddle. Already having the house phone between her shoulder holding your hand.

-

Hair on the back of Peter’s neck stood up and he was bolting for the door yelling out apologies to Otto before his phone even rang. He was about a block down from the lab trying to get a lab when May called.

“I know I know I’m on my way.” He says. “It’s the…spider sense that alerted me. They’ve been so heightened lately I don’t know how I can feel it so far away.” He stomps his foot in frustration running down an alleyway looking for a good spot to start swinging.

“It’s called fatherly intuition Peter, sometimes you just know. Not everything is Spider-Man related.” May says rubbing your hand breathing with you.

“Her go bag is in the hall closet. I'm three minutes out, maybe four.” He yells from a rooftop hanging up and starting to head that way.

“I’m not letting him swing me to the hospital.” You say softly laying your head back.

May laughs “I’m calling Dr. Alvarez everything is fine. I’m gonna put your bag in the car and we’ll be there in no time.”

You weren’t sure if everything was moving at 2x speed but it felt like Peter was there in no time. Carrying you to the car and sitting in the backseat with you. “She’s coming.” He says excitedly kissing your temple. “Of course she’d pick today.” He laughs nervously.

“She’s already giving you a hard time.” You joked looking at him grabbing his hand as another contraction started.

“Just like you.”

-

Six hours later you sat exhausted in the hospital bed holding your newborn daughter, Peter crouched over you head against your sweaty head. “Oh look at her.”

“She’s already got your face.” You laugh. “I think I can’t really tell. All babies look the same sometimes.”

Peter laughed, kissing your cheek, nodding. “They really do but she's got my nose and lips for sure. She’s got your hair.”

“I love her.” You say kissing her head. “And I love you Parker.”

“I love you bashful.” Peter says kissing your lips quickly, before leaning down and kissing the little girl's head, her legs kicking in response. You smiled, handing her off to Peter watching him rock her slowly resting her on his chest. You fixed your hospital gown and thanked whatever made you walk into that frat party two years ago.

This came out waaaay longer than I expected it too but once I got started I couldn’t stop. Hope this is what you guys wanted, it’s not proof read at all because I was so excited to post it. 

Taglist: @helloheyhihowdyheya​ @sincericida​ @a-lumos-in-the-nox​ @moonyslove78​ @messymissy​ @adhdhufflepuff​ @toomanyfictionalboyfriends​ @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ @eevylynn​

[nataliawrites]

TikTok on the Clock // Daniel Ricciardo

One of the best things to come out of the pandemic lockdown was finally giving in to the urge to download TikTok. You had quickly grown addicted to scrolling through the mix of eclectic videos that popped up on your “for you page” and soon enough decided to start posting some yourself.

It did not take long for Formula 1 fans to make the connection between your account and who your boyfriend is — Daniel Ricciardo was many things but subtle was not one of them and he had a tendency to “accidentally” interrupt you while you filmed.

You kept the account going long after restrictions eased and hopped on many of the trends that made their rounds on the app. This year, you were feeling slightly evil. You have been putting together a compilation of hilarious (if you did say so yourself) pranks that you pulled on your boyfriend since the season began and were just about to hit upload as the countdown began.

You put down your phone and turn to give Daniel your full attention.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Seven

Six

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

His lips taste like champagne.

Happy New Year!

“Hey Dan?”

“Mmh.”

“Maybe stay off TikTok for a bit.”

“What did you do?”

One

You loved the Australian Grand Prix. Your boyfriend’s home race was a spectacle on the track and a great opportunity to spend time with his family off the track.

As usual, you flew out to Perth a bit early before switching coasts for the race. You were busy in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner as you prepared to host everyone that evening. When everything was mostly done, you started recording on your phone and leaned it against the wall inconspicuously before calling for your boyfriend.

“Hey, babe?” You pour a heaping pile of salt on a spoon.

“Yeah?” You can hear Daniel from across the house.

“Can you come taste my sauce?” You dunk the spoon in a pot of your tomato sauce and pick up just enough to hide the salt.

He basically runs to the kitchen, “test taster reporting for duty.”

You bring the spoon to his mouth, “I used your nonna’s recipe.”

His eyes screw shut and his mouth puckers, “my-my nonna’s recipe?”

“Your mom shared it with me. Isn’t it delicious?”

“Yeah,” his voice cracks. “Delicious.”

You look at his face again and fight a losing battle not to laugh as he desperately tries not to offend you and his grandma.

You reach towards your phone as giggles escape you.

Daniel finally realizes he’s been tricked, “are you serious?”

You point the camera towards your boyfriend, “you should’ve seen your face.”

“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts.

Two

“Babe?” You questioned coming through the front door. You had spent the day loading up on groceries and stopping by a few boutiques that caught your eye. This was the perfect opportunity to finally pull one over on your boyfriend.

“I’m in here,” you drop your bags in the foyer and follow Daniel’s voice to where he’s lying on the living room sectional.

Your phone is stuck in your bra, the camera just peaking over your shirt. “My car told me I needed windshield wiper fluid while I was out.”

He lowers his phone but keeps his focus on it.

“So I pulled into a gas station and the guy working there gave me a really good deal. He told me I got it for 50 percent off and it was only $150 for me because of how sweet I was.”

Daniel’s head snaps up as he drops his phone.

“$150?”

“Yeah.”

“You paid $150?”

“Yeah …”

“For windshield wiper fluid?”

“Yeah? He told me it was a good deal!”

“Love,” you can’t tell if he wants to laugh or cry, “I could’ve done that for free. He ripped you off.”

“But it was 50 percent off?”

“It costs less than $5 to buy and then you just pour it in!” He gestures wildly, “this is my fault. How do I race for a living and literally collect cars without teaching my girlfriend how to change her own windshield wiper fluid?”

By this point you’re silently laughing which Daniel finally notices.

“Really? Really?” He turns around to face the back of the couch, “don’t talk to me.”

“Awww, baby. Don’t be mad at me,” you coo. “I think it’s cute how protective you got.”

“Still mad at you.” It’s hard to take him seriously with his face shoved into the leather couch, muffling his voice.

Three

You walk into the gym, your phone hidden in the pocket of your leggings, and take in the view of you shirtless boyfriend.

The fans will appreciate this one.

“Dan?”

He pauses his juggling on the stationary bike.

“My back’s really been bothering since I came back from my run. Do you think you can help me stretch it or something?”

He gets off the bike and walks toward you, “do you want me to call Michael? He won’t mind coming over to help with your back.”

“Don’t bother him. It’s nothing major,” you turn away from your boyfriend and quickly stick two pieces of pasta between your molars while he can’t see, “just need to loosen it up a bit.”

“Okay …” he spreads his palms across your back and applies some careful pressure. You bite down on the pasta, timing the crack with his movements.

“Oh my god.” You let your body go limp.

“Love? Are you okay?” He tries to hold you up but you collapse on the padded floor of the gym.

“Is it your back? What did I do? I knew we should’ve just called Michael. Oh my god.”

You take pity on your boyfriend, not wanting him to think that he actually broke your back for longer than a few seconds, “it was just pasta.”

“What?”

“The sound. It was just me biting pasta. It’s a prank trend.”

He lets go of your body and you fully drop to the floor.

“Are.” He pelts you with one of the balls he was juggling.

“You.” And another.

“Kidding.” And another.

“Me?” And another.

You run out of the gym laughing as he continues to chase you through the house, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“I thought I broke your back!”

[081314]

Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss – Chapter 6 (Part 3)

Following is part 3 of my translation of Chapter 6 of Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss. This part contains Episode 7-95 to 7-100. This concludes chapter 6.

Main storyline spoilers after the cut.

Episode 7-95

Lilia: …It’s been 80 years since then, huh. They said you were gonna join the stars soon, but you’ve held on for a really long time. What a good boy. Now, aren’t you sick of being inside that egg? Are you holing yourself up in there ‘cause you’re mad about something? If you came out, I can show you picture books, and change your diaper.…So just come out already….. *sigh* Oh, yeah. I learned a new spell recently. Hard to believe at my old age, right? Life’s just full of surprises. Anyways, this spell lets me view an object’s memories… But none of the memories I’ve seen so far have helped me one bit. I guess I haven’t mastered it enough yet to sift out the important memories from the useless ones. But I’m certain I’ll be able to make a lot more progress with my search now. Maybe on my next trip I’ll finally be able to find a way to hatch you. Alright, I’ll be going now. See you, Malleus. …Hmm? Did you say something just now? No, of course you didn’t. Eggs can’t talk… I must be tired or something. …Yeah, I am little tired. So I’ll just… I’ll just take a breather here for a bit.... So not too long ago, I met this dragon that lives in the Land of Red Dragons…

Lilia: I-It’s so cold… m-my hands and f-feet f-feel like icicles…! Dammit, I’m getting s-so s-sleepy… I c-can’t… n-not… here…

(a dog barks)

Elderly Man: Oi, you there! You alright!?

Lilia: Huh…?

Elderly Man: Why, you’re just a kid! Teddy, let’s take ‘im back home on the sled.

(Teddy barks)

Elderly Man: Oh, wow. So you’re on a journey to find dragons.

Lilia: That’s right. And sorry for all the bother, I’ll get out of your hair now.

Elderly Woman: You’re not going anywhere in that shape! The winters here are just awful, a child could never cross over these mountains alone. You should stay with us until spring.

Lilia: No, I couldn’t…

Elderly Man: Don’t you worry about a thing. Why, it’s been ages since we’ve had any guests over.

Lilia: …Don’t you two see my ears?

Elderly Woman: Your ears? …Ah! Are you a fae?

Elderly Man: So you’re not a kid, are you?

Elderly Woman: I’m so sorry, I thought for sure you were about the same age as our little granddaughter.

Lilia: You aren’t… afraid of me?

Elderly Woman: Why would we be? You’ve been so sweet.

Lilia: Well, I…

Elderly Man: If you don’t want to stay until spring, then how about you just stay with us until this blizzard passes? The nights here are long in the wintertime. You think you could keep a couple of old folks company?

Lilia: …Hah. Old folks, huh. I’m the only old person here.

Elderly Woman: You certainly don’t look it. How old are you?

Lilia: 420… No, 430 years old.

Elderly Man: I didn’t see that coming! Ah hah ha! Ahh, I know. Grandma, could you get us something warm to drink? It’s not every day we get to talk to one of our elders. There’s so much I wanna ask you about.

Elderly Woman: That’s right. You can’t have a good chat without something to sip on. I wonder if you’ll like what we eat, though?

Lilia: …..

Episode 7-96

Lilia: 150 years passed by in the blink of an eye… Hard to believe I’m 450 already… a total geezer. To think, despite all my traveling over the years, there’s still places I haven’t been to yet. The world’s so much bigger than I ever could’ve imagined. And the countries out there have completely transformed since my search began. And now, there’s a bunch of places that let us followers of the night pass through. That’ll make my search a lot easier. I haven’t had any humans throw rocks at me lately, either… I guess you could say the conflict between our species is just a thing of the past, from a human’s perspective. And there’s not a thing we can do to stop their civilizations from progressing so much. One day, they’re gonna… They’re gonna forget all about us. We’ll be nothing more than fairytales to them. I just don’t want that to end up happening to you, Malleus. So could you please come out of that egg already? Aren’t you cramped in that little thing? There’s lots of annoying stuff here in the outside world, but I’m sure you’ll have a lot more fun out here. You know, Malleus. There’s so many things I want to show you once you’re born.

A letter from Baul

“Sir Vanrouge,

Please return to Dragon Capital City at once.

His Majesty’s egg is losing magic at a rapid pace.

It’s possible he may end up returning to the stars before the next full moon.

We kindly request your audience…”

Land of Briar – Maleficia’s Castle

Lilia: Baul!

Baul: Sir Vanrouge! Thank you for coming.  *Lilia grabs Baul* Ack!

Lilia: The hell do you mean Malleus’s egg is in danger!?

Baul: Augh… P-Please, compose yourself. I can’t… I can’t breathe-!

Lilia: You guys have been taking care of him, haven’t you!? So why is he-

Baul: He should’ve returned to the stars two centuries ago. Miraculously, he’s been able to hang on all these years. But now… Now his time has finally come.

Lilia: No…! Isn’t there anything we can do?

Baul: Please come with me to the tower.

Lilia: What… What’s going on here?

Baul: Three months ago, he started completely rejecting all of Queen Maleficia’s magic… His pulse has been getting weaker and weaker, and last week, this powerful forcefield suddenly appeared around the egg. Anybody who tries to get close is repelled by lightning strikes, and the doctors and Imperial Guardsmen who attempted to approach him have all been left seriously injured. Queen Maleficia has tried suppressing the forcefield with her magic, but it’s incredibly resistant... And if we aren’t careful, the egg might end up getting crushed. We’ve pretty much reached an impasse at this point.

(A dragon cries)

Lilia: Someone’s crying…

Baul: Huh?

Lilia: You guys can’t hear that voice?

Baul: Voice? All I hear is the wind and the thunder-

Lilia: Malleus!!

Episode 7-97

Lilia: Malleus!!

Baul: Sir Vanrouge! Don’t tell me you’re going to climb the tower!? You can’t go up there! Those lightning strikes could kill you!

Lilia: You damn idiot! That little kid’s crying all by himself up there! We can’t just sit around and watch!

(Lilia runs off)

Baul: Ah- Wait! Please!  Sir Vanrouge!!

Lilia: Malleus!

(Lightning strikes nearby)

Lilia: Ack-!! What power… If I get hit next time, it’s gonna be lights out for me. But… Ah ha ha! That’s the first time in 200 years you actually replied to me!

(Malleus cries out)

Lilia: That voice… I knew it. He’s crying!

(lightning strikes)

Lilia: Guaaah! Ugh, are you mad? I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was never able to hatch you…

(lightning strikes)

Lilia: What, that wasn’t it? I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me! Just stop crying and tell me what’s wrong already!

(lightning strikes)

Lilia: Augh! Haah, haaah… O-Okay, fine. That’s the spirit, Malleus! Just keep on crying! It’s okay for babies to cry! It’s okay! Cry all you want!

(lightning strikes)

Lilia: Ugaaah! Haaah, damnit, that hurts! Feels like my body’s gonna be ripped apart! Meleanor! Levan! Are you watching right now!? I’m sure you’re having a ball up there, huh. Lucky you! Well I’m not letting Malleus come join you just yet! He has to see the world… He has to see all the things you guys never got to…!

(Malleus cries out)

Lilia: …Wait, that’s it. Malleus, are you… Are you crying ‘cause you’re lonely?

(lightning flashes)

Lilia: Augh….! Ah- Ha hah. That’s it, that was it all along. Anyone’d be lonely if they were left all by themselves for two hundred years. Why did it take us so long to realize that? It was so simple... You wait right there, I’m coming for ya.

(Lilia starts climbing the tower again)

Lilia: Haaa, haaah… Almost there…

(lightning strikes)

Lilia: Aaaughh! Ugh… I really felt that one. But too bad for you… They didn’t use to call me the Running Rampart of the Verdant Moors for nothing… I’m not going down that easy…! Haaah, haaah… Okay, Malleus. What’s your next move? I can go at this all night- No, for another 100 years, another 200 years… Until you finally give up and come out of that egg already… I’m gonna keep holding you and coddling you and hugging you, no matter how long it takes…!!

(Malleus cries and starts absorbing the magic around him)

Lilia: What the-!? The egg’s drawing in a bunch of magic from all around it… Is this- Is this what the egg wanted!? Ha ha! I knew it, you were starving this whole time, weren’t you. Sheesh, you didn’t have to put up with it. Go on, take some of my magic, too. I’ll give you my magic, my life span…. as much you want!

Lilia: So please, come out already… Come join us in the outside world already!!

???: Gyaaaaaaaah!

Lilia: That… voice… it’s…?

???: Gyaaaaan!

Lilia: You… hatched?? You really hatched…?

Baby Malleus: Gyaaaaa!!

(Malleus breathes fire)

Lilia: Ack- …You’re only five seconds old, quit it with the fire balls! ..Ha ha! Look, you guys! He’s got the same green eyes and fire as Meleanor. Ah- I guess we’re the only ones here, huh. Malleus… I finally got to meet you.

Baby Malleus: Gyaaaou!

Lilia: After 200 years I finally… Ahh… Ugh…

(Lilia starts sobbing)

Episode 7-98

Silver: This whole time, I couldn’t figure out why father was dreaming of all these awful things. But now I… now I understand. This must be the happiest moment of father’s life. And he only could’ve gotten here after going through so much heartache, so much pain. And after losing so much… Only then could Lord Malleus finally enter this world…!

Sebek: Ugh… *sniffle* …I hadn’t the slightest idea… That Lord Malleus’s birth occurred under such circumstances. Despite all the countless books I’ve read on Briar Valley’s history, not a single one spoke of this moment. Why did my grandfather never make mention of this awesome tale…?

Senate Member A: Vanrouge! You did an amazing job hatching His Majesty.

Senate Member C: It’s a miracle! You’re our hero!

Lilia: …Hero?

Senate Member A: Now then, come bring His Majesty to the Queen.

(the background starts warping)

Lilia: Augh…! …No, *I… I… Augh!

Senate Member A: Vanrouge!! You fool! You dare lay your filthy hands on the heir!

Senate Member C: For a dragon egg to be hatched with a bat’s magic… This is a scandal upon scandals!

Senate Member A: You have defiled the noble blood of the Draconia clan! Do you even comprehend the utter gravity of your sin!

Grim/Sebek/Silver: !?

Sebek: What is the meaning of this!? Why have the senate members changed their tones so abruptly? And why is the world distorting before us!?

Silver: Father must be starting to realize we’re inside a dream…!

Sebek: Mean you that instead of words of celebration, Sir Lilia was subjected to this absolute abuse!?

Silver: He probably was, yeah.

Yuu: Those senate guys are going totally overboard!

Senate Member C: Do not ever show your face before His Majesty again, wretched bat! Hurry, someone get the prince away from him!

Baby Malleus: Kiiii!!!

Lilia: Ah….

Senate Member C: Call a doctor, quickly! We need to make sure His Majesty is alright!

Senate Member A: Ahh, His Majesty… How my heart aches for him. Not only did he lose his parents thanks to our useless Imperial Guard, his body has been sullied by tainted magic.

Senate Member C: What will we do if you’ve left His Majesty sickened, you fool!

Baul: You awful- …That’s it, I’m not holding my tongue a second longer! Take back what you said at once! Have you any idea just how much Sir Vanrouge loves our country, loves the Draconias! He’s devoted his everything to them!

Lilia: …Enough, Baul. It’s better this way. I’m sure this is the right thing to do… The right thing to do? …Augh! My head’s killing me…!

Baul: Sir Vanrouge! Are you okay!?

(lightning strikes)

Everyone: !?

???: So this is where you were. I finally found you… Lilia!

Episode 7-99

???: So this is where you were. I finally found you… Lilia!

Lilia: That voice… Levan!? When did you get back- No, wait. Those horns. They look just like Meleanor’s… Who the hell are you!?

Malleus: …I never knew… I never knew you gave up part of your own lifespan to hatch me.

Lilia: Hatch you? The hell are you-

Malleus: Those damn senate members, how dare they treat you like this… And my grandmother! Why did she hide the truth from me all this time!?

Lilia: Malleus, no! I was the one who asked everyone to keep quiet about all this. I was worried you’d feel guilty if you knew the truth… Huh!? No, you’re not Malleus… Malleus hasn’t even learned to shift into his two-legged form yet, he’s just a baby… Ugh.. My… head…!

Malleus: Don’t bother yourself with all those unnecessary thoughts, Lilia. You need not suffer one moment longer. Now tell me, what kind of dream would you like? One in which my mother and father are still alive? Or perhaps one where you and your son can live together in peace?

Lilia: Ugh… Stop it, *I…. I…!

Malleus: I’ll grant you your every wish. Now come, Lilia, and take my hand…

Silver: FAAATHEEEER!!

Malleus/Silver: !?

Lilia: The Knight of Dawn!? Why are you here!? Ugh!... No, you’re-!

Malleus: Silver, Sebek… You two again, eh. You must have an awfully hard time falling asleep. Do you still intend to oppose me?

Silver: We’re never giving up! Never!!

Sebek: All the more, knowing how Sir Lilia feels. He poured his love into you so that you might enter this world, and we shan’t sit around and watch us you become its enemy!

Silver: That’s why we’re going to put an end to this… We’re ending your “Blessing”, Lord Malleus!

Lilia: Blessing… Ah- Aah!!

(Lilia sees flashbacks of his farewell party)

Lilia: Heh… Kufufu… Hahaha! Ahahahah! Well said, you two. I wouldn’t expect anything less from my apprentices.

Silver: Huh? Apprentice…? Are you…

Lilia: My head finally cleared up. I remember everything now, Silver, Sebek. And Grim and Yuu, too!

Sebek/Silver: Sir Lilia! / Father!

Lilia: Seems like I took a nice, long nap. Ooh, you’re in hot water, Malleus!

Malleus: Tsch... So you’ve awoken. …However, you needn’t worry. I’ll put you back to bed again in a moment.

Lilia: Ha! You’re going to put me to bed? You grew into such a cheeky young man, you know that. Go ahead and try, then! Everybody, follow my lead! …and run awaaaaaaay!!!

Yuu: Wha- run away!?

Malleus: Fufufu… A game of tag, is it? I feel it’s been decades since we’ve gamboled together like this. We’ve all the time in the world. So let’s have some fun, shall we, Lilia? He heh heh…. Ahahahhaha!!

TL note: He’s switching between using the first-person pronoun 俺 and the first-person pronoun わし. His past self uses 俺 and his present self uses わし so he’s starting to wake up from the dream here.

Episode 7-100

Lilia: I’ll keep Malleus busy, and you guys escape with Silver’s Unique Magic in the meantime.

Silver: !? We’re not leaving you behind! Come with us!

Lilia: Oh, it’s fine. I’m long used to Malleus’s little tantrums. Besides, my magic reserves are back to normal inside this dream, so I’m the best choice to take him on.

Sebek: But that’s-!

Lilia: Don’t you worry. Malleus would never dare hurt me like that. …I suppose he takes after his father in that way. He’s a kind man, not cruel. Silver, Sebek. You guys have to handle the “real” Malleus for me.

Sebek/Silver: …Yes, sir!

(Malleus appears in a pillar of green fire)

Malleus: I found you, Lilia! …Now then, what shall it be? Hahahah…. AH HA HAHAHA!

Lilia: Now’s your chance to escape! Hurry!

Silver: …I swear, we’ll wake up you and everybody else from this dream. There’s so much I want to talk to you about!

Lilia: Yes, Silver! That’s a promise. Let’s meet again, once we’re all wide awake! …The night’s blessing upon ye.

Silver: …The night’s blessing upon ye! Those I’ve met before, and those I’ll meet someday…. Come, and let us dream the same dream!

Corridor of Dreams

Everyone: aaaAAAAAAHHH!!

Sebek: Oi, Silver! Just whose dream are we traipsing into now!?

Silver: I don’t know! But we’ll need to put a plan together once we cross over! Everybody, hang onto me and don’t let go!

Grim: Uwaaaah!! You’re gonna pop me like a balloon before we even make it to the next dream!

Silver: Hm? Do you guys see that, there’s something shining in the distance…

???: Ooooi!

Sebek: What on earth is that!? Something’s approaching us rapidly!!

Silver: Is it a bird? A plane? No, that’s-!

Ortho: Ooooooi!!

Everyone: Ortho!?

Ortho: Yup, it’s me! I finally found you guys!

Silver: How did you even get here!?

Ortho: We’ll talk later! For now, just hang onto me! Okay, let’s go! Waaaaarp!

Ignihyde Dorm

Everyone: aaaAAAAAHHH!!!

Sebek: Ugh… Must we always make such an unsightly entrance?

Yuu: I’m used to it, honestly.

Silver: Is this… Ignihyde?

Sebek: Just whose dream have we entered, I wonder?

Grim: Wait, where’d Ortho go!? He was just with us?

Silver: What? Oh, no, what if he got left behind in the Corridor…!?

???: Uhhh… Umm… could you guys, uh, chill out a bit?

Everyone: !!!!

???: Wait, wait, wait! Time out! I’m on your guys’ side, so could you not with the death stares…

Silver: Y-You’re…!

Idia: Can’t start a boss raid without a tank, and now we’re all set to go. The opening act’s DONEZO. Time for the main event! Heehee!

Part 1

Part 2

[vivgst]

COD Headcanons

I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?

As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.

Okay thats all thanks<3333

Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?

Alejandro Vargas

I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".

“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”

Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.

Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.

He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.

Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.

I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.

MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.

I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.

Simon Riley

He’s very chill I love him <3

I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.

He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).

Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.

He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.

He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.

Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...

John MacTavish

Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.

Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.

Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.

Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.

Too charismatic and funny.

Kyle Garrick

He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.

Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.

Kinda family oriented.

He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.

Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.

I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.

Hot lover.

John Price

Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.

He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.

Loves whiskey.

Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.

I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.

If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).

Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.

Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.

He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.

Phillip Graves

He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.

“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.

A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.

Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.

Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.

Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

Of course straight, loves to be white and American.

“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.

Fuck you graves.

Rodolfo Parra

Perfect.

He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.

Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.

Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.

Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.

Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).

Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).

Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.

Have a pretty smile.

Valeria Garza aka MAMI

Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.

Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.

She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.

Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.

Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.

Did drugs once and hated it.

Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.

Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.

I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.

She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).

I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.

She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.

She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.

I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.

I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.

Wouldn't divorce once she's married.

Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.

As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).

[ctrlsht]

I want to request a ff. can you make yandere CEO sugar daddy jungkook ff? if you are accepting my request then please don't make yn the typical humble sweet innocent girl who gots herself into that situation just because her dear mom or grandma is on verge of dying and she doesn't have any money so she took that path to save them. no please make her character different. Like a spoiled brat and arrogant girl who wanna have lavish life and power forever and takes advantage of the fact of having powerful handsome most sought after man on her side. kinda gold digger type but not really since she doesn't want to leave him and she actually enjoys his obsession/yandereness until it gets too much. I want to actually see kinda negative female lead than typical positive character? Doesn't really have to be negative just bitchy kinda toxic demanding clingy character etc.

Btw i loved your ffs who is in control and seat of power. I hope you keep making more yandere Jungkook ffs in future. I hope to see more of your ffs in future. You have already become one of my fav author in Tumblr 🩷

Don’t Blame Me | sugar daddy!jungkook one-shot au teaser

pairing: sd!jungkook x reader genre: one-shot & yandere au

summary: You can have everything you want and need as long as you have Jeon Jungkook by your side. You were enjoying everything that Jungkook gives you and as long as you obey him. You’re sure to yourself that you will never fail him but he was the one who failed you. Everything is fine until he gets too much. 

content  & warnings: sugar daddy & ceo jk, college reader, manipulative behavior, unhealthy behavior, possessive & obsessive jk, yandere, bitchy reader, jk sabotaging reader’s career

date of release: June 12, 2023 | evening (KST)

Preview:

“Baby.” Is the first thing he said after a long silence between the two of you.

“A-are you… Mad?” He asked in his low and soft voice like he really sounded guilty from what he just did. 

“What was that, Jungkook?” You finally spoke and annoyance is evident in your voice. 

“Baby, I’m sorry. I just want us to have our dinner because we haven’t done it for weeks already.” His voice was still low and soft just like a child that was scrolled by his mom. 

He doesn’t like it when you’re mad. It rarely happens but when you did, he felt like he did really something terrible for you to get this angry. 

“It was our due date this week, Jungkook and we’re not yet done with our paper. We still have a lot of things to do and I don’t understand why you can’t understand it.” 

He’s getting anxious with how your voice sounds. You’re so pissed and he immediately regrets the actions he just did. 

You sound like you hate him now and that you regret being with him. It’s like any minute, you would open your door and leave him alone. 

By just thinking about it makes him crazy. 

He held your hands and placed them on his lips and you can feel his hands shaking.

“Y/N baby I’m sorry! I’ll promise that I’ll be the one to finish all your works I swear. You already knew that those things are only a piece of cake for me and I can finish that in no time I promise!” He speaks so fast and you feel his anxiousness within his shaking voice and hands. 

“I acted without thinking. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He added as he intertwined his fingers with yours and his lips touched the back of your hand.

He’s too scared that he has to feel you right now in order to calm his nerves because when he doesn't, you might drift away from him. 

“But seriously, Jungkook. What was that?” You asked after a long silence. 

The more that you call him by his name, the more anxious he gets because you don’t call him only by his name. 

“When I read your message—

“I thought you didn’t read them?” He looked at you in your eyes and he bites his lips. 

“I lied. I’m sorry.” He admits and you become more confused with his actions. You don’t understand what’s with him. 

“Baby, I'm uneasy and I felt that something is not right and I saw your location and I saw the guy and I don’t know, I feel like my heart will explode! Babe, I can’t sit well because you’ve been declining my invites multiple times and I don’t know what’s happening and I’m overthinking things.”

Even though he talks too fast, you understand where he’s coming from. You’ve seen this before and you know the reason why this is happening.

“So you thought that I ditched you for Yuan?” You asked, trying to hide your smile. 

“Who’s Yuan?” When he asked that, you immediately cracked up.

“Baby, who’s Yuan?” He asked once again.

“The guy I’m with. Jungkook, what the heck!” You can’t take it as you laugh so hard. 

“Babe, why are you—

“You’re getting jealous of someone you forgot! Who’s not going to laugh at that?” You speak in between your laughs. 

Your laughs continued until you realized that he doesn’t find the situation funny. Your laugh slowly fades when you see how serious he is. 

“I was just kidding! Why so serious, Ggukie?” You spoke and you clung to his arm. You still find the situation funny and you tried your best not to laugh since he’s being serious.

After  a few moments, he spoke. 

“Did you really… Ditch me?” He asked in his low and soft voice and you instantly looked at him in horror while you shook your head.

“Of course not! Why would I do that?” You respond in defense. He looked at your eyes trying to see the sincerity of your words but he’s having a hard time finding it. He looked away as he looked down and you took a deep breath.

“Babe, look at me.” You caressed his face as you moved his head to look at you. His eyes glow in the dark and you love how pleading his eyes look. 

“I understand where you’re coming from but believe me when I say that whenever I decline your invites is because I really do have to finish something. Babe, you know how I value my academics and I am aiming for a latin honor. You know that right?” You brushed your thumb off his cheek and he closed his eyes to feel your touch. 

“And Yuan? He’s just a research partner and nothing else. And please, don’t be insecure because of him. He’s nothing compared to you. And I don’t like him either.” You lean forward to kiss his forehead. 

“Don’t you ever think that I would ever like him because it’s a fucking insult. I have a standard, babe and he didn’t even meet the 1% of my standard.” You spoke in a demeaning tone before you pushed your back at the backrest. 

a/n: This is the first time that I received a ff request and tbh, I was kinda nervous because I might not meet the expectation of the person who requested it. I write everything based on what the ff requester wants and hopefully, I did it right! It was hard for me to go out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing (what I mean is writing a ff that wasn’t me who plotted it) but I realized, why not try it? To the one who requested this, I hope you’ll like it!