#I feel like ringo is the lady bird

[zilabee]

the first being what I received when I asked my niece to draw me pictures of the beatles, and the second being when I told her she wasn't funny and provided a reference photo. Alas the cake was ready before she got round to paul and ringo in human form, so I only got half beatles, but I LOVE THEM.

[txmbstone]

Hi lovely!!!

Can you write a head cannon about how Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo behave when they're jealous seeing the reader flirt with another man. 🙏

Oh my gosh when I tell you I got so excited for this. I hope this isn’t too much like the other one I did previously but there might be some carry over

Curly Bill

He is livid. Absolutely fuming. He hated watching these sad excuses for Cowboys come up and try to win your affection over a drink or a few pretty words, but when you choose to do it? Oooo you’re in for it.

You both had gotten into a fight. It was a silly fight, really, but his pride and your stubbornness refused to let the sleeping dog lie. You couldn’t even remember what the fight was about (a product of the liquor you both consumed that night having a massive part to play in that) but Brocius was refusing to even utter a simple ‘hello’ to you

Alright, two can play at that game

You decide to pick yourself up off the floor and get dressed in your best. If he was going to be furious with you, you were going to make sure you damn well earned it

It started with ignoring him completely as you left camp, letting McMasters help you onto your horse (you knew Brocius liked to reserve that task only for himself, all to his testament that he would be the only gentleman you needed to turn to)

You knew he’d follow you into town sooner or later — he could never stay away from the night life for long, so you made for the saloon you both preferred to frequent

The night is still young, ladies and gentlemen just starting to fill the saloon, and you blatantly ignore the red sashes that filter through the black and gray suits

“More champagne?” The tycoon whose name you’ve already forgotten offers with a smile, chuckling as you raise your glass to him. He was charming, you had to admit. He had something warm in his eyes, but they never compared to the fire that burned in Brocius’s, that spark so devilish you had no choice but to follow in sin

Suddenly you feel a hand on your waist, nearly yanking you out of your chair into the embrace of a warm figure

Your hands find purchase in a familiar red tunic, and you glance up to see the man of the hour himself, looking positively red and furious. (You never knew Brocius could turn such a shade, no matter what attitude you threw his way you’d never seen him even change color)

You take a quick glance between the two men, immediately clocking the tension in the air, and fueled by the stupidity and pettiness of alcohol, you decide to make it worse

You slither out of Brocius's grip, and saddle up right next to the tycoon, a smile on your face all the while. "Good evening, Curly Bill. I see you've met my latest friend. He and I were just discussing the latest improvements to the Oriental. Care to join us?”

His features turn sour (if such a thing was possible, he was looking positively green mere moments ago) tongue rolling over his cheek, and you know you’ve got a long night ahead of you

Johnny Ringo

If you thought Brocius was bad Johnny is a god damn nightmare

Don’t even get me started on the lengths this man would go to when establishing that you belong to him and no one else — even when the two of you weren’t even courting

Johnny always had a watchful eye, even more so when it came to watching you. Even before the both of you began courting, you’d catch him staring in crowded saloons or high up in the boxes of the Bird Cage Theater.

You didn’t mind it. You’d knew about the infamous Johnny Ringo, heard the legends his name carried, saw the way he carried himself. Always on the hunt for something. Head always on a swivel. You wanted to know the mystery behind the man, what life had been conjured up behind those dark eyes of his.

You finally had the chance to meet him one night at the Oriental, chatting with your friends at the bar when he walks past. He locks eyes with yours and instantly your entranced by the quiet outlaw

To save face, you flash him the smallest of smiles (to be polite, you remember telling a friend) and turn back to the giggling mess your friends have turned into

You don’t watch him leave, but you feel a set of eyes on you all night, even as Mayor Behan introduces himself to your little group with that charming smile of his and wicked sense of humor. He offers your group the finest of wines and champagnes, and while your friend indulge themselves in the Mayor’s money, you prefer to keep an eye on the man you can’t stop thinking about

You notice he likes to watch, too. He’s tucked away in his own little dim corner of the bar, puffing at a cigar as he plays a hand of poker with other Cowboys. Every now and then his cigar lights up his features under the brim of his hat, and his gaze is always set to you. Waiting. (You’re not sure what for; you’ve always loved to play Cat and Mouse, and if he was willing to look at you like you’re dripping sin just for him, you were going to made sure he worked for it)

And just like that, a little match sparks an idea

You turn away from the Outlaw entirely, leaning in closer to Behan as he spins a tale about rescuing a poor kitten out of a tree. A few friends of his arrive too, joining your little group as they vouch for him. You hit it off with one of them right away. Cole, his name is, and he makes you laugh nearly as hard as your brothers did when you were kids. He’s a nice little distraction from the Outlaw lurking in the corner — and a perfect motivator.

You never expected your little game to end so soon

Just as Cole reaches for another glass of wine to pour you, a quarter leaps between the both of you, recoiling in shock as a gray outfit squishes between the small space Cole had once filled

You’re completely surprised to see Johnny Ringo, looking as deadly as the Grim Reaper and oozing sin. He orders a shot of whiskey, eyes set directly on you, before adding another glass of champagne to his order. “That is your weapon of choice tonight, am I correct?”

Your cheeks burn with the question. You expected this game to last a little longer, if you were playing a game at all. He seemed to skip all of the pieces on the board and went straight for your king.

It takes you a moment to recover yourself, but Cole is quicker, interjecting until Ringo’s fingers fly to his holsters.

“Best leave us alone, or it’s your body they’ll be parading down these streets in the morning.”

“I don’t remember asking for a white knight in shining armor to come to my rescue, Mister Ringo.” You say, watching Cole storm out of the bar, ears burning red and face a little pale.

He leans in close, invading your space with the presence of him, tipping his hat just so it’s the two of you. “You didn’t. I’m not the knight you read in fantasy books.”

“No?” You tease, hand over your heart in faked shock. “Then what character will you play in mine?”

“The dragon.”

[ i am so sorry y’all this feels so rushed AND ITS SO LATE. life has been kicking me in the butt lately and i so desperately wanted to get this out sooner but my brain pan is currently on fire and there’s no fire extinguisher in the kitchen. let me know if you want to see more! ]

[harrisongslimited]

George Chapter of the Day

I Saw Her Standing There, Chapter 11

Trigger Warnings: adult situations, swearing, smoking, fluff, drinking, slow-burn romance, angst, confrontation, homosexuality, sexual tension.

**18+ only!!**

Chapter 11

Joie sat there a long time. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel. She was tired and ached all over. But he kissed her; the scent of his aftershave still lingering in her senses, the feeling of his lips still present on her skin. What was that for? Gratitude? Something more?

What did she think about her relationship with George? He was definitely the "quiet one" unless he had something to say, and he frequently had something to say. He did just protect her from Ringo's rant in his quiet, authoritative way. And come to think of it, what was that all about? Ritchey never seemed to her to have a confrontational bone in his body. After all, wasn't she hired to help them when they needed her? Well, fuck that...this was her last tour. If it would be a matter of going back home to the states or keeping this shit up, well, she'd pack her bags and gladly go home.

Of that, she was steadfast and certain.

She got up from the sofa and went to her bed. Closing her eyes, only one thing was on her mind. The kiss from George.

..........

After closing Joie's hotel room door, George leaned against the wall and shut his eyes.

"Fucking unbelievable," he shook his head. "A bloody kiss on the forehead...what the bloody hell... She's going to think of me as her brother, not the impression I was going for."

His chin fell to his chest as he shook his head again. Should he knock on her door again and kiss her until her toes curl? He knew what moves pleased a woman. There were plenty of teachers in Hamburg, happy to show an enthusiastic 17 year old what goes where, when and he was an avid learner. The groupies and other entertainers knew the score. Fast, easy, usually no strings.

He took a long, deep breath.

That wasn't his lovely Joie. It was getting to be the time he needed to lay his cards on the table and while he was usually a confident lover, he worried about how to approach Joie. He would prefer if she would take the reins and give him a bit more encouragement...generally not a problem with other ladies.

He was going to approach her when the time was right. No need to rush. By his estimate, Joie had 3 months left on her visa. Visions of her lovely body, still tanned a light bronze, freely given by her would be a dream come true. Her breasts crushed against his chest as they kissed deeply and passionately, invaded his thoughts more than he liked to admit. Removing her clothes and touching her all over kept him up at night.

It was time to tell her before he needed to jack off in the shower to ease the pressure. There were always the ever available girls who just wanted to shag, but he was beginning to find the anonymity bothered him. He really wanted to belong to someone, to be loved by that one special girl and he was sure he could make that a reality.

..........

Desperate times call for desperate measures and he was ready to lay it on the line...but not today, as he headed down the hall to the suite.

Joie awoke to the sounds of birds chirping outside her window. She jumped out of bed, feeling that she was late. She usually brought tea and toast into the boys, although Mal usually woke them up with a shake of their beds. Brian was known to call them, ringing the phone over and over until someone answered. She threw a skirt and top on, and flew out of her door. Down at the end of the hall was the suite where the boys were, Brian's room, and Mal's room in between.

Joie tentatively knocked at the door, not sure what she would be greeted with, but Paul answered the door and let her in.

"Mornin' love," he greeted, bright and chipper. He was dressed and presentable. They all were. John looked a little worse for wear but was still dressed and ready.

"Am I late?" she croaked out.

"We decided you needed a Beatle-break," George told her gently as he handed her a cup of coffee.

They all surprised her, John handing her a blueberry muffin and Ritchey pulling out her chair from the table.

"A Beatle-break, huh?" she smiled at them, settling down at the breakfast table.

"And I'm sorry for being rude to you last night," Ringo offered, giving her a warm squeeze of her shoulders. "I was way out of line."

She looked at him as she took a sip of her coffee. "I love all of you, you know."

"We know," Paul offered. "That's why we give you such a hard time all the time."

..........

She was glad when they finally landed at Heathrow in the middle of the night. It was necessary to do things out in the real world when most people were asleep in their beds. There was less chance of running into thousands of fans and being mauled to death. Joie slept on the plane most of the ride and couldn't wait to close her eyes in her own bed at Freda's. She felt like sleeping for a week and eating everything in the fridge.

As Joie took a taxi to Freda's, she contemplated two choices...either getting her own place and staying in England for 3 more months or going back home. She missed her family but had talked to her father about letting her sister Jordan come out for a visit. That would mean she would need her own place. She shouldn't continue to be in Freda's way, although Freda never said a word.

Joie insisted on paying her own way and chipped in for rent, groceries and utilities. But she longed to get her own place. She just didn't know where. She also thought about dating. It had been a long dry spell since Charlie.

..........

Brian was in a sour mood the next day as he walked into the office. Joie was already there, as bright as she could be, considering she'd probably managed only 8 hours of sleep over the last 10 days. But she also had gotten to see Paris and Munich and Dublin. At least a little of it.

By noon, Brian had left the office for a "meeting" and both Freda and Joie took a deep breath of relief.

"Tell me about the tour..." Freda asked, excitedly. "It sounded wild."

"It was. It was just cars and hotel rooms and more cars and receptions and all the while, the girls screamed," Joie answered, shaking her head. "It's unbelievable."

The phone rang, interrupting her, but Joie answered it. It was George.

"Hi, love. Are you ok? Did you manage to get some well deserved sleep?"

"I'm fine. How about you?"

"The usual. Hey, could you come out to the house tomorrow? That decorator is coming out and I need your help."

"Sure" Joie answered, her heart beating faster. "Should I just come out in the morning?"

"That would be great. Thanks," George told her. "I'll see you in a couple hours. We have a meeting with Brian."

"What time?" Joie asked. "He left about 15 minutes ago."

"Oh, that's ok," George answered. "We don't have to meet him for a couple of hours. I'm heading for the studio now and then we'll be there later."

"Ok," Joie said. She was looking forward to seeing George. The feelings surprised her. "See you later. And be careful driving in."

"I will, thanks," he said.

Joie turned to Freda with a happy smile on her face.

Joie told Freda she was going out to George's the next day.

"Has it been fun decorating his house?"

"Yes, but I didn't do it alone. Cyn really helped, so did Maureen. I think Cyn has some interior decorator in her!"

"Well, she was an art student in the old days," Freda offered. "Very artistic."

The phone rang again and Joie answered it again. It was Brian. His speech was slurred.

"Come and get me," he mumbled. "You have a car courtesy of the Beatles. Come 'n get me, Miss Armagh."

Joie strained to understand him. "Where are you?"

"And don't tell anyone. Anyone. Got it?"

"I got it. But where are you?"

Brian gave her an address, told her to figure it out and hung up. Joie turned to look at Freda. "It was Brian. He asked me to go and pick him up. Maybe his car broke down? He hung up too fast for me to ask."

"He wants you to come and get him?" Freda asked. "Where is he?"

"I have no idea. He gave me an address and told me to figure it out. And he told me not to tell anyone."

"Why so secretive?"

Joie shrugged. She grabbed her purse and left the office with a wave to Freda. "I'll be back. And then we are gonna talk about my finding my own place. I really need to give you and Will some privacy."

"I like having a roommate...." Freda told her sincerely.

"Maybe Will can be your roommate!"

Freda laughed. "My parents would never go for that!"

..........

Joie checked the map in the car and realized she was going into some shady neighborhood. She got there relatively quickly, thanks mainly to George, who showed her how to drive in London. She inched the car along, looking for the address. It was a bar.

Leaning against a phone booth was Brian Epstein, raincoat pulled up close to his face. He spotted her and jumped into the car. He smelled like alcohol and cigarette smoke, and his lip and nose were bleeding.

"Brian...." Joie began, concerned. "What happened? Should we call the police? You look like you are hurt. Do you need a doctor?"

"Drive," he barked "and hurry up about it."

His head bobbed up and down with every bump. He was very drunk. She thought she would take him to the office and try to call Mal or George or someone. Maybe George would be there and he could help her.

"You are so naïve," he blurted. "you don't understand anything."

"What is it you want me to understand?" Joie asked him, realizing it was probably fruitless to have any kind of discussion with a drunk person.

He was silent. "You really are imperspectively stupid."

Joie wanted to laugh. He sounded ridiculous. "Right," she answered.

He seemed to sober up slightly, at least enough to keep his head up. He wiped the blood off his lip and tried to appear a gentleman by running his hand over his raincoat and smoothing his hair down.

"I don't like you," he said suddenly.

"Well," Joie answered calmly, "I don't particularly like you either. But that really isn't necessary. We just work together. That's all."

He turned his face towards her. "No, missy, you work for me. We don't work together....you work for me."

"I work for the Beatles," Joie responded. She was driving faster to get somewhere so she could get away from him. The smell of the alcohol and the smoke was overpowering in the little car. And Joie had the window open.

"And they work for me...." He said flatly. "If I tell them to get rid of you, they will."

"I don't care," Joie responded as coolly as she could. But she was getting nervous. She didn't like being with him in the car.

"For fuck's sake, open your window," she exclaimed, more to herself than anything. She had seen enough drunk men to last her a lifetime.

He seemed to slip back into sleep, but woke up with Joie parked at the office. He got out and slammed the door shut.

Joie sat in the car and burst into tears. She cried so hard that she thought she'd break. Her heart was racing and the car smelled terrible and she wanted to go home. Although she loved England, she felt like she hated everyone who lived there...except Freda.

She was done. Joie Armagh was throwing in the towel. She was beaten by 4 Liverpool boys and their posh manager. She was going to march up into the NEMS office and quit. She would book the next plane out. Joie had met her match and she was quitting. That was it. California, here I come.

When Joie entered the office, the boys were all present and Brian had washed his face, brushed his teeth, combed his hair and was presentable. The boys were in the middle of questioning Brian as to where Joie was. She heard him say he "bloody well didn't care."

"Come on Eppy," John cajoled. "Where is she? You took her for a ride didn't you?"

"I want her gone," he burst out. "She's a bloody American and we can get a fine English gentleman to help you on the road if we need to. Or you can hire one of your friends. I don't care. I want her gone."

Joie stood there. Paul noticed her first, her face red and puffy from crying. But she was standing straight and spoke clearly. "Thank you all very much for the opportunity you gave me. But I'm leaving. If you need 2 weeks, I'll do that. But I'm turning in notice."

"Thank bloody hell..."Brian said.

No one said a word for a moment. Joie stood there vulnerable, trying to stand her ground. Trying to maintain some dignity.

Paul was silent. John was silent. Ringo was silent. Uncharacteristically, it was George who put an arm around her and led her out of the office.

"You need to stay for a meeting," Brian called after him.

"Sod off," George responded. "Go clean yourself up. And then we'll talk."

George put Joie, who had started sobbing again, into his car. She was blubbering about her car and Brian and the smell in the car and going back to the States. He calmly picked up the phone in his glove box and called Mal.

"Mal, I need some help. Joie's blue mini is at NEMS. We need someone to take it over to get cleaned out. Brian had too much to drink and the smoky/alcohol smell is all over her car," he said. "Whatever it costs to clean up, charge it to Brian."

"Where are you taking me?"

"Just relax now, Joie. We're going home."

"Freda's?"

"No" George said gently. "My home."

Joie didn't argue. She put her head back against the head rest and took a deep breath. It was warm and relaxing in the car and soon she was asleep. When she woke, they were in Esher, at George's house.

They walked into the house in silence. Joie noticed that George had added his own personality to the house. It was warm and open. Joie felt very comfortable.

"I imagine you want to get this day behind you," he said. "Just go into my room, grab a shirt, take a shower and lay down if you want. There's a robe in the closet too. I'll sleep in another room. Or maybe you are hungry? How about some tea and sandwiches?"

"That would be nice," Joie said, smiling happy to be free from the office. "I'll go clean up and be right out."

Joie went into George's master bedroom that she knew so well from arranging the furniture. It was exactly as she had arranged it, only with more of his personal belongings. She grabbed a t-shirt and the robe and took a shower. She stayed in the shower a long time, letting the water run over her.

Her plan was to head back to California. To Santa Monica Pier. To shopping. To seeing her family and friends. To the Pacific Ocean. To even worse traffic and the lovely San Bernardino Mountains. To peace and quiet.

Toweling off, she put the t shirt on and wrapped the robe around her. She felt human again. And when she went into the kitchen, George was sitting at the table waiting for her with a cup of tea and cheese and tomato sandwiches.

"Hi," she said simply.

He had changed into jeans and an open white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was barefoot and his hair was disheveled. Hot tea was steaming in front of his face. He looked wonderful. He smelled wonderful. Joie watched him and sat comfortably in his t-shirt and robe, her face scrubbed clean.

"Hi," he answered. "do you feel better?"

"Much," she told him. "Thank you for what you did."

He stood and passed the cup of tea to her. "You're welcome."

Joie sat at the table and cupped the tea in her hands, enjoying the warmth.

And the silence.

"What he did was wrong," George said barely over a whisper. "He never should have treated you that way or have done what he did."

"George, he never liked me so it really isn't all that surprising. He just never did. Not from day one," Joie told him. "I don't know what I did. We were just like oil and water."

"I wish you would've told me it was that bad. I would have done something...."

"Oh, there was nothing you could have done. It just needed to play itself out. It's ok. It just made me realize that I need to go back home."

George choked for a moment and seemed to be taken back. '"Don't give up on us so quick."

Joie's eyes opened wide. 'It's been 3 months, George..."

"Don't let what Brian did send you back home. Besides, I need your help with the house," he smiled. "Otherwise, my mother is going to handle it."

Joie smiled back and took a bite of her sandwich. "Would that be so bad?"

"You don't know my mother...." George responded lightly, sipping his tea. "besides, we'd all miss you."

Joie was silent for a moment. Truth be told, she'd miss them too.

"You know," he continued, "Brian is a mixed bag. He polished us up, got us noticed, but he's a troubled guy. He has......trouble with women. Especially strong women."

"His he married?" Joie asked.

George looked at her. "No," he answered. "Never will be either."

Joie turned her head slightly. "Why?"

"Joie...." George started. "Brian is....Brian...well, he's gay."

"Gay?" Joie asked and after a moment, the lightbulb went off in her head. "Oh."

"Yeah....'oh'," he answered. "He's very closeted about it, but he's a good guy. He's just...he's very protective of us."

"So I'm a threat?"

"In a way. He's very motherly...you know? And you've taken over that role in a way he never could."

Joie ran a hand through her hair. "So I should be more understanding?"

'I think you've been understanding enough when it comes to Brian. Especially after today."

"So what should I do?" Joie asked him.

"Let me handle that," George said to her. "Just let me handle it."

"George, you don't have to fight my battles," Joie told him, watching him carefully. She wanted him to kiss her...really kiss her madly. He was so adorable.

"I know that," he answered with a nod. "But just let me handle things for now. I promise you it will be ok. Just trust me."

Joie sipped her tea and looked into his deep brown eyes. "I trust you, George...."

George looked at her in silence for a long time, reaching across the table to take her hand gently in his. Joie blinked slowly and enjoyed the moment between them. It was the longest conversation she'd ever had with him.

"George..." Joie began. She wanted to ask him why he didn't run around with other women when they were out on tour, but stopped herself. Maybe he had and she just didn't know it. He seemed more private than the other 3, and Joie thought she would leave it alone and changed the subject. "I know we are supposed to go out on tour again in a couple days. What should I do? I don't want to go."

"We've got a couple of days," he answered. "Why don't you stay here and we'll figure it out."

Joie looked at him. "I can't stay here George. I couldn't impose on you like that."

"You can stay in the coach house. I'll be in the main house. Let's just do that for a couple of days..until I leave."

"It....I....are you sure?" Joie stammered a bit.

George brightened. "I'm sure Joie. And leave things to me...just for now. I don't want to run your life, but I want to take care of a couple of things. Don't want you buying your airplane ticket back to the states just yet."

[madoumonogatarirunelord]

Another Kluguro fic because I love them

(I'm also incredibly bored)

"Calculus!"

"Backhand slip grip special! ★"

A large pile of nuisance puyos fell on Ringo's next chain, causing the match to end. However, before She could even congratulate Maguro, the pair found themselves into quite the dilemma.

Bursting out of the sky? That's what Amitie did all of the time... But somehow, she and Maguro found themselves doing exactly that...

[meanwhile]

"What a peaceful day... Almost too peaceful... Actually, I don't think it's ever been this quiet before. It's actually kind of scary..."

A certain, brown haired nerd sat on a bench, studying an old book on an even older Legend. Klug was so engrossed in his book, that he almost didn't notice the purple haired toddler running at him...

Except it wasn't a purple haired toddler. It was Feli and her tiny body. She only reached up to Klug's neck. What made things weird, however, was the fact that he was scared of her.

"Hiyah!" Feli yelled, pointing her dowsing rods at Klug.

"Meep!"

Klug immediately jumped back, hugging the book he was reading. His body was trembling all over at the sight of this miniature gremlin of a girl.

"What do you w-want?!"

Feli scowled, putting her hands on her hips.

"That purple haired boy and his red haired girlfriend are here. They were lost so I asked the stars for help, and they told me to tell you to go and help them because APPARENTLY you're of use to them. Goodbye, four eyes. I hope fate allows me to never see you again.

Feli quickly scampered away, off to find Lemres no doubt. After all, he was visiting Primp right now.

Purple haired boy? Red haired girlfriend? Surely she didn't mean... Sasaki and Ando? So they were dating, huh...

Klug was never one to meddle in relationship business, but he couldn't help but feel a bit disheartened that his crush had found somebody... Especially when that somebody was smart, beautiful and Maguro's childhood friend.

Klug quickly brushed off these thoughts, realising it wouldn't get him anywhere, and so, with a sinking feeling in his chest, he hurried off to find Maguro and Ringo.

[With Maguro and Ringo]

"Hey, so what was that girl's deal? She seemed weird and creepy..." Ringo sighed.

"Heck if I know... ★"

Maguro and Ringo had been walking around for what felt like hours now... Even though it was only around ten minutes. They had ended up in an unfamiliar part of Primp's markets, passing by a few strange individuals in the process.

"Ugh... Why are people in Primp so strange?!"

Ringo seemed annoyed now. She was just trying to have a Puyo Puyo battle with Maguro, and somehow she ended up in the one part of Primp that she didn't recognize. They had both challenged a few of the people they vaguely met at some point, but to no avail.

"You know, Ringo... What's even stranger is the fact they just assume we're dating. What if I'm into a boy or something? ★" Maguro stated, putting his right hand in his pocket while the left one kept playing with the kendama.

"So you are into a guy, huh?"

"W-Wait! No I just m-meant... You know what, fine, you win... ★"

Maguro's face was a bright red now. Ringo was right, he was into a guy. A guy he knew so much yet so little about. Maguro didn't even realize he was going off on one of his excited rants before it was too late...

"Well... He's a really cute nerd and... ★"

[With Klug]

He had been searching for ages now, even running into a couple of strange individuals who pointed him in the right direction.

"Just my luck... I ran into that annoying Witch lady and that creeper with the sword... Oh well at least I have some lea—"

Klug quickly cut himself off as soon as he saw Maguro and Ringo walking down the streets, laughing and chatting, like a couple would... It just served as a reminder that he would never be good enough for Maguro.

He quickly dashed up to the pair, putting on a smile to seem friendly.

"I heard you love birds needed assistance?"

The pair quickly turned around out of confusion and curiosity.

"Love birds?" Ringo asked.

Ringo was definitely confused. Why did everyone assume that she and Maguro were dating? It was kind of getting on her nerves.

"Not you too, Klug ★" Maguro sighed, clearly disappointed.

It was Klug's turn to be confused now... What was that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean, Sasaki?"

"I mean that you've got it all wrong! Ringo and I are just friends! ★"

Klug's face flushed red out of embarrassment.

"So you're telling me that you and Ando aren't dating...?"

"Of course not... In fact, I love you, Klug... ★"

This time, both of their faces flushed red as Ringo chuckled.

"Klug, I would just like to inform you that, if you hadn't gotten here so soon, I might've had to endure an hour's long rant about why Maguro thinks you're hot, so thanks...!" Ringo smirked, clearly trying to fluster the pair.

"R-Really? You love m-me that much?... I... U-Uhm... I love you too..."

Maguro smiled softly, planting a kiss on the cheek of the slightly smaller male.

"I love you to the edge of space-time and back... ★"

[music-my-beloved]

With The Beatles: A 16yo's (horrible) album review pt.2 !!

It Won't Be Long 🚆: Erm, the guitar is just *mwah* chef's kiss it really carries the song, she's the backbone. She's like, duh do do duh do and it's so cute. The background vocals are eating so good !! This song I think was the most prominent to me because I remember it from Across the Universe (incredible movie btw) . Really love this song, she's like a sister to me.

All I've Gotta Do !: Honestly would have done numbers in the 2010s because I feel like it has really good "call and response" potential !! Like, uh that one song,,,, I can't remember uhh oh Ain't No Mountain High Enough . I know I keep saying this but this song IS cute ! Also so far I've noticed they're utilizing back up vocals more which is much appreciated, I hope I hear it in the rest of the tracks on this album.

All My Loving 💗: Yay! More background vocals !! I go feral for them. The guitar is also SO good. If It Won't Be Long is a sister to me this song is my brother. Heard this one a lot growing up as well. Background vocals are heavenly the little , "ooooooos" in the background are so dreamy !!

Don't Bother Me 😔: okay first initial listen it reminded me of when my I would lose my mom in the store 😭😭 my forever "lost mom in the store" anthem !! Uhm, didn't quite jive with the rhythm but that's alright !! But it is a good song!! The dude's a little bit too dependent on that lady maybe her leaving was a good thing ??? idk I'm only guessing 😭

Little Child 🚸: uhm, I'm scared. girl they're gonna catch a case !! If a grown men in their 20s sang this to me I'd be like ,"Oh okay I'm gonna groove with y'all 'cause the beat is funky but the lyrics are concerning so idk might wanna work on that"

Till There Was You 🫵: oh. em. gee. La Vie En Rose who???? Girl this song is swoonworthy !! If a guy was like, "I used to never hear the birds singing before I met you, now that's all I hear" I'd cry OMG 😭😭 also it's just paul singing and like, omg it's so simple but it's simplicity totally makes it amazing !! It feels more personal that way !!! EDIT: OMG IM INJECTING THIS IN MY BLOODSTREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's so amazingly awesome oh em gee I'm actually addicted it's not funny ! Oh my god I'm gonna explode!! Dopamine is real and I'm experiencing the effects, the world beautiful again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please Mister Postman ✉️: this is a pretty good cover. Background vocals are once again in the spotlight they're just too good. The iconic beatles sound really starts to take shape in this album I've noticed !! Ringo did a good job on drums too !! Total rock and roll vibe. I was gonna compare it to another band it felt weird because it's like saying the parent sounds like the child and like no wdym the kid sounds like the parent !! I forget how much The Beatles really pioneered music !!!

Roll Over Beethoven 🎹: whaaaaa. man this track was a doozy ! They're cocky and it's workin'. Totally can see enthusiastic young couples totally jammin' to this it's so great ! Really loved the energy !!! Also that guitar solo is the beginning was AMAZEBALLS

Hold Me Tight 🥺: Whoa. This song is my second sister. This track was THE song at the beginning of my Beatles beginning when I was but a wee little girl lolll it's just so addictive. Makes me bop my head and smile everytime I hear it. The endorphins swarmed this one guys sorry 😔

You Really Got A Hold On Me 💕: Contradictions left and right !! Rhythm was a gentle little ebb and flow that was kinda refreshing to hear !! Liked the song.

I Wanna Be Your Man ♂️: whoa. Straightforward!! Some girls might like that in a man but uhm, idk the chanting of "I wanna be your man, I wanna be your lover" with the stark black and white of their faces on the album cover got me scared 😭😭 idk it was nightmare fuel I felt like someone was watching me. Uh but overall it was a high energy song maybe a bit too high energy for me 'cause I'm tired while writing this review but it wasn't really my preferred choice in music but I totally see me liking it like, a month from now !!

Devil In Her Heart ❤️: Maracas ?? 🤨whaarrrrr but uhm this one just felt like another song honestly. As I'm writing this review it's like, my 10th listen in the span of 3 days she's just not clicking 😭😭

Not A Second Time ⏰: Honestly the first few listens she felt bland like unseasoned chicken but now that I'm really listening it's got a simple little jive to her and I'm here for it !! It's got these vocal runs that I don't think I've heard before it's so unique!! Overall really liked her.

Money 💰: uh pink floyd who ???? But seriously this song rocks. Not the catchiest but it's true, she's REAL. I need MONEY

More album reviews on the way, next up: A Hard Days Night...

[arsenickool-aidforever]

I feel like I have posted single pics of my animal children. So here’s a family album.

Noodle: Lemonblast Spider, my special little moron. Sometimes he forgets how to snake. He’s a sweet babe though. Really likes blankets.

Syrax: Vanilla Creme. An angel. 100000% unproblematic. Beauty and manners. Eats like a champ and never bites. The goodest girl. Her favorite TV show is currently Fallout.

Luna: Blue-eyed Leucistic (Super Mojave). A whole bitch. She only likes her dad. She will tear off your face, but damn she’s pretty. Loves a car ride.

Johnny Ringo: Normal Het-Pied. A gentleman. World champion scuba diver. Will submerge himself in his water bowl for DAYS. Does not like the Weiner dog.

Doc Holliday: Ivory Yellow Belly. PHOTOGENIC. A charmer. Will (and has) curl up like a baby and nap while I hold him and work. Just wants snuggles and maybe a snack. Another unproblematic fave. Looks like a cartoon of a Snake.

Baby girl: The Rat. Was suppose to be Dinner. Noodle didn’t want to eat. Give my husband a sad look and is now getting fed watermelon, lettuce and baby food. Spoiled rotten and well aware. Can do no wrong. Baby girl has two sisters Dolly and Dippin Dots (DeeDee), and their collective boyfriend Bubs. They did not sign photo consent forms.

Douglas “Dodger” MacArthur: a Dachshund. The little old man of the family. Wanted in 48 states and Puerto Rico. Shares a brain cell with Jackson, and only has it 0.9% of the time. Mortal Enemies with Johnny Ringo. He will absolutely ask for a manger.

“Stonewall” Jackson: Pitbull-Great Dane. An absolute Prince. Goodest boy. Loves a good stuffed animal. Practically perfect, best pet to take in public. Model citizen. Terrified of birds, cause blue jays are jerks. His only downfall is that he has no sense of personal space.

Dottie Sue: Pit-mix. Our foster pup who’s about to be adopted by us. We went to the farmers market for green tomatoes and some exercise and left with a little old lady pittie who’d been at the shelter on and off for two years.. she’s a sweet old lady, who has bursts of energy and then needs a three hour nap. Loves watching the rats play. Only knows how to kiss with tongue.

[malvo-ish]

And today on "which Song reminds me in Nebula":

ITZY - RINGO

Ladies and Gents Put your hands up Hands up in the air high Let’s go (Ah) Boom Boom oh-oh oh-oh Boom Boom uh (I can’t wait anymore) Boom Boom oh-oh oh-oh Bring me RINGO, RINGO RINGO Putting on a sweet smile I can’t do it any longer Super tight corsets are not for me Waiting for Prince Charming That kind of story line is so outdated (Hey) I’m so fed up with it Baby Let’s rewrite (Ooh ooh) Underneath my pale skin I wake up (Oh ah ah) The secret side of me I kept under wrap is Burning on (Oh ah ah) Repeating a Phrase someone else wrote is such a shame Gonna Keep searching Where is my plot? If you’re feeling like a hunter You’re wasting your time, I’ll be movin’ on So bring me RINGO, RINGO, RINGO Even if it’s poison, I’ll swallow There is nothing to fear Baby go and rewrite my own world (ah) A Hero with a pretty face Not a princess Strong and fierce Gonna change my destiny So bring me RINGO, RIN, RINGO The ending is mine to decide (Ah) Open the path on my own So bring me an RINGO, RIN, RIN Dum Tiki Dum Tiki Tiki Dum Dum Focus, focus, for me A fancy tea party That’s so not my thing I want to go on an adventure Listen up 3 2 Baby take notes Puppy love I can care less(Ha) Hopes and dreams Baby I can find on my own Not some sort of charade but something of my own (Oh yeah) Not like a puppet on strings (Oh ah) type of fragile princess Gonna make quick decisions There’s no time to waste Swords and shields rather than mirrors, I go up (Oh ah ah) Gonna get rid of the bouquet too, I can fight (Oh ah ah) Never seen before, Brand new page Let’s begin, Such a fate You know what I mean Where should I go There is zero fixed ending Free as a bird I’ll be movin’ on So bring me RINGO, RINGO, RINGO Even if it’s poison, I’ll swallow There is nothing to fear Baby go and rewrite my own world (ah) A Hero with a pretty face Not a princess Strong and fierce Gonna change my destiny So bring me RINGO, RIN, RINGO The ending is mine to decide (Ah) Open the path on my own So bring me an RINGO, RIN, RIN Dum Tiki Dum Tiki Tiki Dum Dum RINGO, RIN, RINGO Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho Loud and clear RINGO, RIN, RINGO The future Is in my hands No fairy tale can tell It’s my scenario Baby now I can see Wanna be free I’m gonna be gonna be gonna be free So bring me RINGO, RINGO, RINGO Even if it’s poison, I’ll swallow There is nothing to fear Baby go and rewrite my own world (ah) A Hero with a pretty face Not a princess Strong and fierce Gonna change my destiny So bring me RINGO, RIN, RINGO The ending is mine to decide (Ah) Open the path on my own So bring me an RINGO, RIN, RIN Dum Tiki Dum Tiki Tiki Dum Dum RINGO, RIN, RINGO Eat it all

[cureforbedbugs]

MIX 2: When the Gas Runs Out Just Wreck It

Jean-Jacques Perrey & David Chazam - What's Up Duck?

Cake - Never There

Soul Coughing - Circles

Beck - Tropicalia

Jimmy Ray - Are You Jimmy Ray?

Happyland - Don't You Know Who I Am?

Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in LA

TMBG - Doctor Worm

The Bluetones - Solomon Bites the Worm

Flin Flon - Kamloops

The Hives - A.K.A. I-D-I-O-T

The Monsters - Pony Tail and Black Cadillac

Andre Williams - Agile, Mobile, and Hostile

Silver Apples - I Don't Care What the People Say

Blink - Dead Little Bird

Cows - Finished Again

Ian Brown - My Star

Rob Zombie - Dragula

Barenaked Ladies - One Week

Catatonia - Mulder and Scully

Sheena Ringo - 歌舞伎町の女王 [Queen of Kabukicho]

Pauline Pantsdown - I Don't Like It

A*C* - I Respect Your Feelings as a Woman and a Friend

Adam Sandler - Somebody Kill Me

Offspring - Pretty Fly (reprise)

Fat Les - Vindaloo

I turned 14 in 1998 and was a freshman in high school. A lot of music memories I associate with 1998 are actually from 1999—I could have sworn I heard Eminem for the first time my freshman year but apparently not. When I heard “Are You Jimmy Ray?” I was slammed back into the real ‘98, though, since I probably hadn’t heard the song since then. Happened again when I got reacquainted with “Drinking in L.A.” This was a time when I was vaguely aware of people “liking music,” but was a lot closer to making mixtapes of alternating Weird Al and Metallica songs than I was to being a record collector. It’s a bit of a dead zone for me, tastewise. This mix is what that dead zone sounds like now, a bunch of goofy experiments, some of which inexplicably hit big (Cake, Barenaked Ladies, “Dragula,” Soul Coughing), some of which inexplicably didn’t (how did it take the Hives so long to take off?), and a bunch of new-to-me stuff I probably would have loved when I was 14.

The rest is what I call mix spackle, the kind of pleasant finds that just seem to fit between variations on the theme. There are a few sloppy neo-garage tracks, as was the style at the time, and a few novelty tracks across various ponds (one very British, one very Australian, both just on the edge of being unlistenable; both are 7's). There’s a funny song about a duck, and a funny song about a worm, and a less-funny song about a dead bird, and the only thing off of that Offspring album I can still get all the way through, especially since the guy from the 1-800 COLLECT commercials with David Spade is on it and it’s only a minute long. I still think that song from The Wedding Singer is funnier than the rest of the movie (sorry). I still think Beck sounds cool in this phase of his career, even though I no longer think he sounds cool a year later. I haven’t looked up who Ian Brown is yet, but I assume he’s from a British band I should know he was in by now. (Ah right, the Stone Roses guy. That makes sense!) I didn’t hear A* C* until college—hell, I may still not have been 100% positive there was such a thing as a “C” word when I was 14. Anyway, listen to this mix if you want to hear what I was actually like in 1998.

[lennonknowsmysins]

could you do the gangster au but the “turning point” in their relationship?? i love your work so much 🥰

pt. 3 to gangster!George

tw: mobster gets a little too handsy, mild violence, arguing

-

You and George had been married for a month and you’d had maybe five conversations with him. He was a reserved man but you weren’t sure what else you expected from a gangster. Truthfully, you weren’t sure you minded. Since your conversation with Cynthia, Linda and Maureen, he didn’t put you on edge every time he was in the room but he still intimated you. George was practically always working, spending all day in his study (which you still had yet to see) and coming to bed late. He never tried to wake you up but you still liked to wait for him, pretending to be asleep.

Realistically, you figured you shouldn’t be too upset with him for not making much of an effort to get to know you considering hadn’t attempted to reach out to him either. Still, when the only time you really saw him was dinner and he spent most of the time talking to his mates, you couldn’t deny that you felt ignored. It wasn’t like you were thrilled to be married either.

The real struggle was trying to find something to do with yourself. Normally, you’d be busy with school but part of your father cutting off your freedom including forcing you to drop out of university. Now nothing seemed to hold your interest.

Linda, who you learned was a journalist (making her and Paul’s relationship taboo in the mob world), had begun enlisting you to spell check her articles. You spent a good amount of time with Cynthia as she’d invited you to help her paint the baby nursery. She was a lovely woman and you enjoyed her company but even as you painting those little blue birds and bounced baby names off one another, you couldn’t help the looming feeling of loneliness. You were just disconnected from the rest of them. Cynthia, Linda and Maureen were involved with each others lives while you...well, you were just there.

You were manifesting that your first public outing with George - some sort of annual gathering for allied mobs - would do something to help the disconnect between the two of you.

-

Upon entering the mansion, you pressed yourself closer to George. You may have not felt entirely comfortable with him but since Cynthia and Linda hadn’t been able to come (Cynthia because she was pregnant, Linda because of her profession) and Maureen was very much looking forward to having a date night with Ringo, George was your lifeline for the night.

The hall was full of men in fancy suits with dark looks in their eyes, most of them appearing to be twice your age. One by one, they came up to George, asking him about business deals and his father before eventually landing on you, at which point, George thankfully steered you away.

“Sorry about all of them.” George apologized, finding a seat on a couch in the corner of the room, “They’re swingers, the whole lot. ‘s why my da stopped coming to these events.”

You snorted as you sat down, “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I am. They’ve been dropping hints that they’re interested in an orgy ever since we got married. Quite frankly, I’m not sure how to tell them no.” George said, shooting you a look. You burst into laughter, making George smile.

“Wait here, I have to talk to someone but I’ll be right back.” George told you, squeezing your shoulder before standing and beckoning to Paul. Paul smiled at you apologetically, following George and leaving you all alone in the corner. You watched Maureen dance with Ringo. You wished Linda and Cyn were here, if George wouldn’t dance with you, you were sure they would. At least, you wouldn’t be lonely.

Your bottom lip trembled but before you could feel too sorry for yourself, you felt the couch dip. A handsome blond man with the most dazzling blue eyes you’d ever seen had sat next to you. He wore a suit of velvet purple and had a martini glass in one hand and a curious grin on his face. A feeling of dread immediately crept into your gut.

“Now, why would a lovely lady such as yourself be sitting here all by herself?” He hummed in a confident tone. Unsure of how to react to the situation, you turned your eyes to your drink, swishing the clear liquid around.

“Waiting for someone.” You murmured back. You could’ve sworn that as soon as you’d said that, he scooted closer to you.

“You can call me Yates.” He said, although you hadn’t asked, “I don’t believe I caught your’s?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “I’m not sure I feel comfortable telling you that.”

“Aw, why not? Is it because I’m a big, scary gangster?” Yates chuckled, definitely scooting closer this time. He continued when you didn’t respond, “That’s fine baby, I’ll come up with one for you. It’s just important you know mine so you know what to scream later.”

Your face twisted in disgust and you would’ve attempted to get up had it not been for his hand curling around your thigh. The sudden grip made you freeze, giving Yates a chance to press himself against you.

“Let go of me. I’m here with my...my h-husband.” You stammered, trying to sound tough.

“Come on now, you don’t sound so sure of that. I doubt that George is that much of a husband anyhow.” He leered, tapping your cheek. Just as you were about to retort, Yates was being dragged off of you.

An angry George stood before you, clutching Yates’ collar in his fist. Everyone around you had stopped what they were doing to watch you.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch my wife.”

With that simple warning, he dropped the creep and grabbed your wrist, pulling you from your seat. As he brought you to the exit, the crowd resumed the party as though nothing had happened. You assumed this sort of thing happened often at mob events.

Once you were outside, George let go of you to light a cigarette, not bothering to look at you as he took a drag. John and Paul burst through the door after you.

“What the fuck just happened mate?” John asked.

“Yates had his hands all over (y/n).” George spat bitterly. The two men turned to you, shivering in your dress.

The alarm on Paul’s face dropped to concerned, “Are you alright, love?”

“I’m fine. Just a bit freaked out.” You shrugged, still trying to process the event. You hadn’t seen George this angry before.  

“Yer cryin’.” John pointed out bluntly. You blinked, touching your cheek. Huh. You hadn’t realized.

George tilted his head towards you with an unreadable expression. He placed the cigarette between his lips, shrugging off his suit jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders.

“‘m taking her home.” He decided, putting an arm around you, “Paul, can you take John, Rich and Mo in your car?”

“Course, but-”

George didn’t wait for Paul to finish, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards his Mercedes. You glanced behind you to see Ringo and Maureen had joined John and Paul, who were explaining the situation to them. You caught Maureen’s sympathetic look before the car door closed.

-

The entire ride was silent, an awkward, bitter silence sitting between you and George. He didn’t even look at you as you walked up to the house, leaving the door for you to close.

“Go to bed.” George ordered gruffly, his back turned to you as he headed toward his office.

You stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. He hadn’t really just spoken to you like you were a misbehaving child and not his wife.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

George paused. Then he turned around, his eyebrows set in annoyance. He wasn’t used to people questioning him, “What did you say?”

“I asked if you were joking about telling me to go to bed.” You huffed, rolling your eyes, “You know, just because I’m your wife doesn’t mean you control me.”

He glared at you, his eye twitching as he tried to think of a response. You saved him the trouble,

“For the record, you didn’t have to make such a big scene back there.”

“He had his hands all OVER you!” He spluttered, spit flying from his mouth, “And it wasn’t like you were doing anything to stop him!”

“I was scared, a strange man was invading my space because my husband completely abandoned me at a party where I didn’t know anyone!” You shout, your voice shaking as it echoed through the ridiculously large foyer.

George’s sour expression softened and you notice he chewed on the inside of his cheek. He swallowed thickly, “I had to talk to someone.”

“You still left me all alone.” You whispered angrily, “I know that this isn’t what either of us wanted and if I could, I’d go back and stop my father from getting us in this situation but we don’t have that choice.

You took a shuttering breath, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment before continuing,

“George, I get that we’re from two completely different worlds but I just had mine completely uprooted for your’s. You’ve barely spoken to me since the first two days after the wedding. For god’s sake, we sleep in the same damn bed and I don’t know that we’ve ever had a conversation. Y’know, the only thing I actually know about you is that you’re a mobster? I...I was just really hoping that tonight could fix that.”

George’s face didn’t change throughout the course of your rant but there was something that looked like a mix of surprise and guilt in his brown eyes. Ever the man of few words, he didn’t respond - you didn’t know if he didn’t want to or if he didn’t know how. You shook your head.

“No, no, you know what? I am gonna go to bed. I need some sleep.” You muttered, turning away from him and storming up the stairs without another word.

Linda was waiting for you at the top of the stairs but you brushed by her in silence, too pissed for any intellectual conversation. You slammed the bedroom door shut, not bothering to turn the lights or take your clothes off. You curled up above the covers, looking out the window.

The wind blew softly, gently rustling the leaves of the tree peaking through the glass. A single tear trailed down your cheek as you thought about how you hadn’t even gotten to dance with George. The night had been spoiled from the start.

At some point, you finally managed to fall asleep, missing the lanky, mop toped figure that took your shoes off and tucked you in.

[wincestisasincest]

2000 Man (A beatle!reader story) - Part 5: Fore!

A quick one, inspired by this picture. Beautiful.

As always, credit to @casafrass for inventing the concept of Beatle!reader, that mf idea that sister snatched my heart. 

Description: It’s the year 2000, and y/n, the fifth member of the Beatles, is advertising her new book, Madam Beatle, in her first interview of the year. We see snapshots of her life, from when she joined the band, to the trials and tribulations, to the death of the band, and everything in between. Loosely inspired by Slumdog Millionaire. 

Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Head canons: None, I think, besides the general concept, this is just me spitballing. 

Words: 1465

Pairings: None? I mean, it’s the same as always, depending on how you view it, it can either be a pairing or a friendship.

Warnings: Alcohol, smoking, golf

“There is this recurring, oh, let’s call it a motif, in the book, of the Rolling Stones.” 

“Yeah, this is one of the few cases in which popular opinion was actually correct. We really did see the Stones a lot.”

“Now, you were friends?”

“I’d say so, yes. Initially, we had something of a rivalry, I guess you’d call it, but even in those days, we still had a very deep reverence for each other. And, then, at one point, our managers decided that we should meet.”

“An interesting decision, yes?” 

“Well, you see, in our industry, competition isn’t unusual, but having enemies really can’t be an option. I think they wanted to actually have us meet face to face so our competitive energy couldn’t turn into blind hatred. Because that only leads to worse things.” 

“Hasn’t competition produced some great records?” 

“Yes, but it’s not really a prerequisite. All due respect, I really am against the idea that you need some sort of negative presence to properly be a musician, or make beautiful things. People just like focusing on that because it’s interesting, but really, as much songs have been motivated by joy as they have grief. I wish more people, especially aspiring artists, knew that.” 

*************

“They’re late.” Brian checked his watch impatiently. 

“What’d you expect?” John was lighting his cigarette.

“Their public personas are one thing, but there’s no need to be rude in private.” Brian huffed.

“Maybe, and this is crazy, but hear me out, their on-stage personas evolved from their own personalities.” You retorted as John courteously lit your own cigarette for you. 

“(Y/n), I’m really not in the mood for any of your back-talk. If you could kindly keep the sass to yourself, I think it would benefit all of us.” Brian retorted and John snickered. 

“You got in trouble.” 

“Shut up, John, I’m gonna go check out the bar.” You shifted your eyes up to Brian, expecting some sort of reprimand, though he just looked at you tiredly.

“Just don’t get drunk.” And with that, he paid you no more mind. It’s not nearly as fun when he doesn’t get offended, you thought. 

You turned on your heel and wandered off in the opposite direction, leaving John to flit over to Paul, George, and Ringo, who were pretending to know how to swing a club. You laughed to yourself. The benefit of being the only girl in the group is that when they did dumb guy business meeting things, you were not expected to participate. Another day of your life where you would not have to play golf. Thank god. 

You swung open the door to the bar and the air conditioner hit you in the face. The bar had an old-timey feel, all the way down to the bar tender cleaning a glass at the counter and a few mysterious strangers lined up on the stools. Might as well join ‘em. 

You plopped yourself on the stool the closest to the door and called the bartender over. 

“What can I do ya for, sweetheart?” 

“Vodka sour.” He nodded and whisked off behind the counter to fetch your order. You took a drag of your cigarette.

“Vodka sour?” A thick British accent floated from one of the stools. You spun around your seat, face to face with none other than Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, and also one of the people that you were waiting on. 

“It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” You shrugged. If he wanted to play it coy, and act like you two don’t know each other, then he’s on.

He slid out of his seat and moved to the one directly next to you. The both of you were smoking and sizing each other up. Of course, if you wanted to ruin the fun, you could’ve asked why he was late. But you didn’t. 

“Vodka sour, Miss.” The bartender dropped your drink on the counter. You briefly turned back to him.

“Thanks, what do I owe you?” As you struggled to pull out your wallet, Keith took some money from the front pocket of his shirt and handed it to the bartender. He returned your startled look with a charming smile. 

“On me.” 

“Well now, I must be something special if I’m getting you to buy drinks for me.” You doused your cigarette in the ashtray and took a long sip.

“Nah, it’s just, I feel like I know you from somewhere.” He grinned.

“Feeling’s mutual. Perhaps I can buy the next one?”

“Oi, Keith, stop flirtin’ we got some bugs ta’ meet!” Another British accent, though this one a lot more harsh, cut through the room. 

Coming in from the alternate entrance was none other than the flamboyant, the one and only, the Romeon to your Juliet, Mick Jagger. Trailing behind him like ducklings was the Stones’ manager, Andrew Loog-Oldham, the bassist, Bill Wyman, the other guitarist, Brian Jones, and the dummer, Charlie Watts. 

“While you were sittin’ on your ass, Mick, I already got started!” He leaned back in his seat, revealing you sitting next to him. You flashed your million dollar smiled at the confused crowd. 

“It’s a pleasure.” You toasted to them across the room with your vodka sour, before finishing the drink off and leaving it on the counter.

Mick’s eyes slanted at you, and you could’ve sworn that you heard him purr. 

“A pleasure indeed.” He stalked across the room towards you, before gently taking your hand in his own and kissing your knuckles. You turned to Keith from the side. 

“See? He knows how to greet a lady.” Keith chuckled at your joke. 

“I apologize if our Keith has been forward at all, he can’t handle himself around birds, ‘specially those he fancies.” From what you already knew about Mick, you would never really know whether or not he was actually interested in you because he flirted with anything that moved. 

“The picture of a gentleman.” You smiled wryly. 

“Damnit, Keith. That’s against our image.” Brian teased, his blonde locks bouncing as his head moved. You giggled. 

“Well, I suppose we shouldn’t keep the others waiting? They’re out there pretending they know how to play golf.” The crowd laughed, yet again. You were on a roll. You got up from your stool, getting your footing on the floor, not forgetting to leave a tip in the jar, as you exited the building flanked by your biggest pop competitor. 

The image of their (y/n) coming up the hill with a group of men known for being disrespectful towards everything did set the lads on edge a bit. John was almost angry, Paul was concerned, George was curious, and Ringo was still focusing on his swing. Brian was just glad that these people had showed up on time. 

As the manager’s greeting each other with aggressive levels of formality, the group took to intermingling. 

“Not gonna lie, I thought you had just found some fans (y/n).” Paul started.

“You’d be correct. We are fans.” Mick put an arm around your shoulder. 

“Speak for yourself. I thought you were kidnapped.” John did that thing where he would say a joke, but you knew that there was real anger underneath. You silently prayed that John wouldn’t mess this up. 

“Oh, please. If anything I kidnapped them.” You psshed. 

“Does anyone actually know why we’re here?” Brian interluded, somewhat impatient with the formalities of the managers. 

“I think the football mums over there wanted us to play golf together? Because that’s what business people do?” John shrugged sarcastically, and the group chuckled. 

“Is now a bad time to tell them that I don’t think any of us know how to play?” George quipped quietly, though making sure that he was still included in the conversation.

“Speak for yourself, I think my swings improved.” Ringo demonstrated, narrowly missing the back of Brian’s head, though thankfully, Brian didn’t actually notice. 

“Yeah, if you’re tryna take someone out.” You smiled at Ringo, knowing full well that someone would die of a golf mishap before the day was over. 

“Speakin’ of takin’ out...” Mick looked back down at you flirtatiously. John had finally boiled over.

“Absolutely not. No.” He pulled you over to their side. Everyone giggled like a bunch of pre-teen boys, except for John, surprisingly.

“As a rule, (y/n) is off limits. Just business, lads.” He placed you behind him and Paul like a wall. 

“Imma big girl, Johnny. Just like you.” Talk shit, get roasted John. Though everyone was laughing, with several oohs interspersed between them, you could swear that Paul laughed unusually hard. 

“Alright you ten,” Brian returned to the group, “shall we get started?” 

“I just have one question, Brian,” Paul turned to face him, “how do you play golf?”

[amoralto]

In your recent post from Gloria Steinem’s “Beatle with a future,” do you know the “she” that Derek Taylor is referring to? Or is that supposed to be apple or the Beatles themselves or something? Who Paul didn’t officially say goodbye to? It seems revealing how John would say “nothing’s going to change Paul.” There’s so much there. Oh and one last thing, who was Ringo saying “always worrying about people” ? Idk why but it’s hard for me to tell who was talking to who here.

Re: the “friend from Philly” Derek Taylor refers to, it’s not specified. Somebody better-versed in fan/groupie/Beatlemania-era dalliance stories may be able to connect the dots, but as far as Steinem describes it she was merely one of a few girls who’d met the band while they were in Philadelphia (September 2nd) and had now followed the band to their engagement in New York (September 20th) holding a charity concert for the United Cerebral Palsy Fund at the Paramount, their last gig on the US tour before returning to England to record Beatles For Sale. Here’s all the appearances she and the other girls from Philadelphia make in Steinem’s article:

It was time for The Beatles’ performance. Everyone crowded into the hall, looking expectantly at the room in which The Beatles had been “incommunicado” and “resting,” the same room into which I had seen Ed Sullivan disappear. Paul McCartney came out first, looking soft-faced and vulnerable as a choirboy. George Harrison and Ringo Starr followed animated and laughing. John Lennon moved quickly behind them, but his face was stoic and aloof behind his dark glasses (the face that inspired a London journalist to write, “It has the fear-neither-God-nor-man quality of a Renaissance painter’s aristocrat”). Behind Lennon came three chic young girls, two brunettes and a blonde, in their late teens or early twenties. McCartney jerked his head toward them as he got in the elevator and told some of his staff members to “look after the birds now, won’t ya.”

[...]

The Beatles’ entourage crowded together in the wings, and I talked to the birds. Were they working for The Beatles or interviewing them? No, they were just friends. “We met The Beatles at a press conference in Philadelphia,” said the pretty blonde, “that’s where we’re from.” Two of them wore wool suits with short culotte skirts. They all looked as if they had stepped from the pages of a teenage fashion magazine, and one carried a met them,” corrected the friendly blonde, “and this time we brought along a friend.”

The girls were simply left to sit in an adjoining room apart from Steinem, John, and Ringo, with both Paul and George in their own rooms presumably sleeping: 

The Beatles were leaving for London early the next morning. That, plus the fact that several Manhattan hotels had turned them down, brought them to the Riviera Motor Inn at Kennedy Airport. The rooms were small, barely big enough for a bureau, twin beds and a television set but they had commandeered a whole floor and there were policemen guarding the halls. Our room was jammed with carts of Scotch and Coca-Cola, trays of sandwiches and two photographers, the young ladies from Philadelphia, a tall girl who had followed The Beatles from San Francisco, several journalists who had been on the Beatle tour, a pretty airline stewardess in a very lowcut dress who was acting as hostess, and, occasionally, Neil Aspinall and Derek Taylor. Two of The Beatles were in other rooms, but Ringo Starr and Lennon were in the one adjoining us with the door locked. It was opened only to admit Aspinall, Taylor, one or two other selected young men and liquor.

And at the end of the article: 

I thanked Lennon, who looked worried, and said, “I hope you’re as true as you seem.” I said goodbye to the three birds who still sat in the adjoining room. Two were stretched out on the bed and a third was applying eye shadow. (“Women,” Lennon had once told a reporter, “should be obscene and not heard.”) They smiled their Mona Lisa smiles.

The “charity” concert itself was a point of consternation for the band (think Embassy-level feelings of exploitation, with the audience made up entirely of high society folk who could afford the exorbitant ticket prices and John saying they were treated “like animals”), and yet another thing in a cumulation of things they’d incurred over the past several months that had the band feeling exhausted and frustrated and even disillusioned with the unrelenting scrutiny and tabloid headlines and general mania surrounding them. Which may be why there’s a sense of distrust and weariness from John and Ringo that comes through in the article. 

Add to that Derek Taylor ultimately resigning from his position as Brian Epstein’s assistant (a position he’d only held for about a year) from the stress and that triggering argument with Brian he’s confiding with Neil Aspinall and John about (which Brian would try to backtrack on, asking him to stay, to no avail), and just the random and curious fact that Bob Dylan and Albert Grossman were there in the room as well (which Steinem only gives a passing mention to; sleepless!John and Bob would later have breakfast together), it would seem Gloria Steinem had (albeit entirely unwittingly) caught the Beatles at a very intriguing point in time. 

(I could go on more about Derek Taylor and how his emotional sensitivity/ego and issues with Brian Epstein (his management, his overprotectiveness of the boys leading to possible misattribution of blame, etc.) seems to prefigure his later issues with Paul and later serve as a bonding agent for him and John in mid-late-1968 (although John would still eventually cry betrayal, in typical gang leader fashion, when John interpreted Derek wanting to keep the Beatles together as “siding” with Paul against John), but I have another earlier ask I have to yet to reply to where that would be more pertinent for me to discuss it.)

Re: “nothing’s going to change Paul”, there’s definitely a lot to deconstruct and pick apart there, even if to the uneducated observer (Steinem) it comes across as just another “desultory” aside to pacify Derek, just as he tries to pacify Derek with the Brian issue (“He’s all right, but he doesn’t understand people having a few laughs, not even me laughs with me wife.”). Insert essay here. 

Re: Ringo, I read it as him making a rueful comment on the situation in general, and therefore referring to both Derek and John. I could be wrong, though! The mileage varies. 

I checked through @amoralto to see if I had posted/transcribed any interviews and such from around this time, and it turns out I have! Larry Kane’s with John and Ringo from Philadelphia (as it happens), with Ringo’s matter-of-factness with the tabloid trap they’re in (“I’ll have it on tape, I’ve been called a queer”) and John and Ringo talking about being the band being alone together (“One gets reliant on the others”). 

Also, I’d be willing to post the entire Steinem article if anybody’s interested! Like I said, it’s an intriguing glimpse into the trauma of living through Beatlemania, something which still gets underplayed in the Beatles historiography - and also something I wish Ron Howard’s film could have focused on, instead of just shallow anecdotes by famous fans who went to see them in concert - and a worthwhile read, even if Steinem sometimes comes across as naive and even judgmental. She also unfortunately skews towards (if not wholly believes in) the popular, nigh-deleterious stereotypes of the Beatles (i.e. John as the Most Talented and Most Intelligent and Most Versatile - indeed, she sought out the Beatles specifically to talk to John in the first place) typical of many features/articles from the time (and which still unfortunately continues to this day). 

[hunterluxe865]

The Little Black Songbook The Beatles

The Little Black Songbook The Beatles Album

A Day In The Life

A Hard Day's Night

Across The Universe

All I've Got To Do

All My Loving

All Together Now

All You Need Is Love

And I Love Her

And Your Bird Can Sing

Another Girl

Anytime At All

Ask Me Why

Baby You'Re A Rich Man

Baby's In Black

Back In The U.S.S.R.

Because

Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite

Birthday

Blackbird

Blue Jay Way

Can't Buy Me Love

Carry That Weight

Christmas Time (Is Here Again)

Come Together

Cry Baby Cry

Day Tripper

Dear Prudence

Dig A Pony

Dig It

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Doctor Robert

Don't Bother Me

Don't Let Me Down

Don't Pass Me By

Drive My Car

Eight Days A Week

Eleanor Rigby

Every Little Thing

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey

Fixing A Hole

For No One

For You Blue

From Me To You

Get Back

Getting Better

Girl

Glass Onion

Golden Slumbers

Good Day Sunshine

Good Morning Good Morning

Good Night

Got To Get You Into My Life

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Hello Little Girl

Hello, Goodbye

Help!

Helter Skelter

Her Majesty

Here Comes The Sun

Here, There And Everywhere

Hey Bulldog

Hey Jude

Hold Me Tight

Honey Pie

I Am The Walrus

I Call Your Name

I Don't Want To Spoil The Party

I Feel Fine

I Me Mine

I Need You

I Saw Her Standing There

I Should Have Known Better

I Wanna Be Your Man

I Want To Hold Your Hand

I Want To Tell You

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

I Will

If I Fell

If I Needed Someone

If You'Ve Got Trouble

I'll Be Back

I'll Cry Instead

I'll Follow The Sun

I'll Get You

I'm A Loser

I'm Down

I'm Happy Just To Dance With You

I'm Looking Through You

I'm Only Sleeping

I'm So Tired

In My Life

In Spite Of All The Danger

It Won't Be Long

It's All Too Much

It's Only Love

I've Got A Feeling

I've Just Seen A Face

Julia

Lady Madonna

Let It Be

Like Dreamers Do

Little Child

Long Long Long

Love Me Do

Love You To

Lovely Rita

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

Magical Mystery Tour

Martha My Dear

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Mean Mr. Mustard

Michelle

Misery

Mother Nature's Son

No Reply

Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)

Not A Second Time

Not Guilty

Nowhere Man

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Octopus's Garden

Oh! Darling

Old Brown Shoe

One After 909

Only A Northern Song

P.S. I Love You

Paperback Writer

Penny Lane

Piggies

Please Please Me

Polythene Pam

Rain

Revolution

Revolution 1

Rocky Raccoon

Run For Your Life

Savoy Truffle

Sexy Sadie

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

She Loves You

She Said She Said

She's A Woman

She's Leaving Home

Something

Strawberry Fields Forever

Sun King

Taxman

Tell Me What You See

Tell Me Why

Thank You Girl

That Means A Lot

The Ballad Of John And Yoko

The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill

The End

The Fool On The Hill

The Inner Light

The Long And Winding Road

The Night Before

The Word

There's A Place

Things We Said Today

Think For Yourself

This Boy (Ringo's Theme)

Ticket To Ride

Tomorrow Never Knows

Twist And Shout

Two Of Us

Wait

We Can Work It Out

What Goes On

What You'Re Doing

What's The New Mary Jane

When I Get Home

When I'm Sixty-Four

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Why Don't We Do It In The Road

Wild Honey Pie

With A Little Help From My Friends

Within You Without You

Yellow Submarine

Yer Blues

Yes It Is

Yesterday

You Can't Do That

You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)

You Know What To Do

You Like Me Too Much

You Never Give Me Your Money

You Won't See Me

You'Ll Be Mine

You'Re Going To Lose That Girl

You'Ve Got To Hide Your Love Away

The Little Black Songbook The Beatles Album

Guitar By The Beatles. The Little Black Songbook. Published by Hal Leonard (HL.242081). The ' Beatles ': The Little Black Songbook. A pocket-sized collection of 195 Beatles hits presented in chord songbook format. This book includes complete lyrics, chord names and a chord box reference sheet.

[myukulelegentlyweeps]

Nowhere Man - Part IV

Pairing : George Harrison x female reader

Summary : George was sick of the Let It Be sessions, took the day off and met (Y/n), waitress and amateur musician, who happened to be performing the song Nowhere Man at the exact time when he felt like one. 

Previous chapters : Part I, Part I bis, Part II, Part III

In this chapter : Geo cuddles his girlfriend (a.k.a you)

Tag list : @givemequeen

Word count : 1.3k

A/n : The long awaited Part 4! So basically this is pure fluff and I really enjoyed writing (Y/n)/George dialogue, but you could consider it a “filler-transition” chapter...I strongly advise you read it anyway :)

Warnings : Descriptions of a healthy, happy relationship in its honeymoon phase

February 1969. You and George had been dating for two months now, and it was heaven.  Every conversation was full of meaning, every touch filled with intention, and every kiss made you feel like you were the most important person in the world in his eyes. You would not have imagined it beforehand, considering his laid back public persona, but the man was clingy : especially now that the Let it Be sessions had ended, he called you at the most random times asking to see you - he even rang you at work occasionally, which your boss found less amusing than you did.

You told each other everything, to the point where you seemed like the oldest of friends to the outside eye. Come to think of it, this relationship was different to your previous ones, since you actually felt completely at ease with George. There was no need to impress the other person and keep them interested in you, as you both loved and admired each other as equals. Silence was as comfortable as conversation : if either of you was too tired or not in the mood to talk, you would find the nearest couch and simply exist in each other’s arms, listening to each other breathe.

So you found yourself here. It was Saturday afternoon. You and George were spooning on the couch of his living room; he had picked you up the previous day at the end of your shift and you had driven to Kinfauns to spend the week-end together. His arms were wrapped around your waist and his hands rested on the naked skin underneath your white button-up shirt. His fingers were slightly cold, but he made up for it in body heat : with your back pressed against his chest, you had your eyes closed and a small smile painted on your face. You could have stayed there all day.

“If you could be anything in the world instead of a human, what would you be?”, he asked you out of the blue. It was not completely unexpected : you two had a sort of running competition for who could come up with the most ridiculous open-ended question - this might have been the best one yet. You shifted your position to face him. “It’s a good question, I’ll give you that”, you admitted. He flashed you a toothy ‘I know, right?’ grin, but you were not finished: “But how would it work? Like, do you mean if I could turn into that something right now, and know that I’ve been a human beforehand? Would I still have my (y/n) conscience while I live in this new body? And would I be able to transform back into a human again at some point?” “Always the smart one aren’t you, with your follow-up questions”, he teased, a slight smirk appearing on the corner of his mouth. You chuckled in disbelief : “But that’s the entire point, isn’t it?” “Dunno, it seemed like a pretty straightforward question to me before you started takin’ it apart.”, he shrugged, making you sigh in defeat. “Right. You answer it, then”, you stuck out your tongue and went back to your original  little spoon position.

You expected him to have an answer prepared, instead you were met with only silence as he buried his nose in the back of your neck, making you squirm. “That - tickles -”, you complained breathlessly, but he only tightened his grip around you. Slowly, the initial tickles morphed into a warm tingling sensation moving down your spine, and you settled into the hug in pleasant defeat. “Your hair smells great. I wish they made nice shampoo like that for men.” You shook your head at the remark : “Is that what you would be, then? A bottle of orange blossom shampoo?” Considering your suggestion, he cocked an eyebrow. “Well, no, because bottles run out. It’d be a very short and uneventful life, seeing only someone’s bathroom…Although I wouldn’t mind it if it were yours”, you could almost hear him wink at you. “George, you see me naked all the time. No need to find strategies get into my bathroom, we’re not in middle school.”

After a few minutes of more cuddling, he broke the silence again. “It’d be nice to be a tree.” “Hm?” “Think about it. I’d live a quiet life, constantly surrounded by nature, watchin’ it change with the seasons…Have all sorts of birds make their nests on my branches…” You nodded slowly, trying to picture his words in your mind. Life as a tree. It did sound pleasant. Growing slowly ; never fazed by the elements, being able to enjoy the rain and wind. Grounded by your roots, though still able to touch the sky with your crown…“But you like travelling,” you pointed out. “Could you really enjoy staying put in one same spot for hundreds of years?”

“There’s other ways to travel. That’s what meditation’s all about. Without going out of your door, you can know all things on earth,” he explained, brushing a stray hair strand out of your face. You  instantly recognised a line from The Inner Light, the song on the B side of Lady Madonna. “Quoting your own songs, are you now?”, you mocked jokingly, making him chuckle. “Didn’t know you knew that one.” “I was a Beatles fan before I was your girl, remember?” “Oh yeah?”, he smiled, acting all fake-surprised despite it being very old news. “Who was your favourite?”

You did not reply right away. Not that you didn’t know the answer, which was George, through and through : something about his voice had always pulled you to him, and there was a magnetism to being “the quiet one”. Even before you had met him, Mary (the bigger Beatlemaniac out of the two of you) used to tell you you were a “George kind of girl” all the time, referring either to your moderate shyness, your spirituality or your constant snacking. But you did not want to give him that much satisfaction quite yet.

“Paul.”, you finally decided, managing to keep a perfectly straight face through the lie. “Really?”, his smile only widened. You could tell he didn’t completely believe you, but at least you had installed a tinge of doubt. “Funny, I’d pegged ye more as the John type.”, he teased. “John? Never. I do love his songs, but he seems like the most likely to grab a girl’s arse without her consent.” “Well, you’re not wrong…Ringo?” “He’s the sweetest. Love him to bits.” “And rightfully so.”, he agreed.  

George went silent, as he often did when the mention of something or someone became a train of thought. Ringo had been the easiest to work with at the studio during the recording of Let it Be - being his good old laid back self, occasionally trying to diffuse the tension, not getting on anyone’s nerves. Had someone asked George about his favourite Beatle at that time, he would have definitely gone with Ringo. Of course it did not mean he disliked John or Paul, as he tried to separate his friendship with them from the recent developments of the band dynamic… They had known each other for ten years, it would not just crumble to the ground the moment someone was being petty. John was still his mate, Paul was still his mate. “But you said Paul was your favourite. What’s it you like so much about ‘im, then?”, he asked as he shook his head back to reality.

“That it would push your buttons the most. Of course you’re my favourite, dummy.”, you brought your lips onto his, pulling him into a sweet kiss.

“I figured. Since you’re dating me and all that.”, he gave you a toothy grin once you had pulled away. “So you don’t like Paul then?” “Never said that. He seems nice enough, and his songs are beautiful. But he’s too attractive, I don’t trust him.” He couldn’t help but laugh at your straightforwardness.

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t hate him, because I was thinking, it’s about time I introduce you to me mates.”

[britishchick09]

help! livewatch

to kick off my beatleversary, we’re taking a look at my fellow beatle fan (aka my dad)’s fave movie from the lads... help! i’ve only seen 15 minutes of ‘a hard day’s night’ because it was a bit boring and ‘yellow submarine’ was fantastic, so i hope this falls right in between. let’s go get some help!

...why are we back to the end of return of the jedi?

sacrifice WHAT’S HAPPENING

OMG the sacrificial ring!!! :o

wait does ringo have it?

people: “ring ring ring ring!!!” john in ob-la-di-ob-da-da anthology: “a ring!”

and it goes right into ‘help!’ clever one lads ;)

the movie is in color yet this is in black and white like it’s on tv. coolio! :D

‘help’ is a bop! :D

you’d think the credits would play over them but nope :/

eyyy called it! :D

CALLED IT AGAIN!!!!!!

♫ won’t you pleeeeeease please

me!!! :D 

this guy keeps throwing darts on the screen and it’s so weird:

OMG lester like phil lester???? ;o

tribe chief: “we need to find the ring!” guy: “has nobody looked in the washbasin?” lol :D

so the guy is only finding the ring for himself and not the tribe?

cool they live at 221b! :D

lady: “still the same they was before they was!” grammar much?

pretty house! :D

JOHN YOU SNEAKY LIL BISH

he’s reading it in a hole how nice :)

george is using fake teeth to mow a lawn inside their house how epic :D

and paul is playing the organ! :D

ringo: “me finger’s stuck in the door” no rongles it’s “I HAVE THE DOOR IN ME FINGERS!!!!’

OMG RINGO SCREAM LET GO LADY!!!!!

also his hair is a hot mess

john: “that’s immature of you, son” says you

ringo thought the lady thought his fingie was a sandwhich lol :D

ooh light :o

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! :o

ringo just fell off the bed lol :D

john sleeps in the hole lol :D

why does john have a phone in the hole lol

he’s calling george and paul who are in the other rooms WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TALK TO THEM

and all he did was say ‘hello’ JOHN YOU DORK

the guy pronounced beatle ‘bee-ah-tle’ lol :D

guy: “they all look the same!” me before a year ago today

yo like harrods the store? :o

they keep saying ‘shilling’ why

ooh title!

groovy!

ringo to john: “what was it that first attracted you to me?” WOAH LENNSTARR???? john: “you’re very polite aren’t you?” yes that’s true thanks for not making it sarcastic :)

OMG MAGNETS!!!

john: “ah HA HA!!!!” op there’s the sarcastic bish!

two lads walking 0.2 feet apart in a 2 BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT BI!!!!

why are ringo and john saying the same things at the same time chaotic lads!

john: “what’s the matter?” ringo: “oh there’s no matter. OW OW OWWW!!!!” i think there’s a matter....

‘65 beatle girls: *swoon!!*

also don’t tell the lady she sucked up the wrong hand...

WELL THAT ESCALATED FAST

george keeps going ‘oh ho ho ho!!!” and i love it :D

they’re playing ‘you’re gonna lose that girl!’ :D

and it goes from not as clear film audio to clear recording audio which is weird

cool shot! :D (and beatle girls probably thought this was so hot)

ringo cig WHY

they have to do it again WHY IT WAS PERFECT

awww ringo’s dancing a bit :)

OMG :o

john: “you naughty boy!” don’t say that plz why :/

OMG THIS GUY’S GONNA CHAINSHAW WINGO :(((((

lady: “please flee!!!” ringo: “ok” lol :D

indian music! (you think this is how george started liking it?)

they’re seeking enlightenment! :D

ringo: “does this ring mean anything from you?” british guy: “freemason?” senpai wants your number

george is asking everyone if the blood rushes to them lol :D

OMG SOMEONE’S KILLING EVERYONE

guy: “could you pick this up for me please?” *knocks the chef out rapunzel style* lol :D

awww the lady wants to save ringo!

lady: “that’s the sacred ring!” paul: “say no more!” lady: “i can say no more!” lol :D

awww ringo is john’s best friend :)

oh no they have until 5 until a new victim is closing! :o

why is there a ticket in the soup

ringo: “that’s a season ticket!” john: “i love me a good seasoning” *puts it back in his soup* lol :D

ringo: “i got it from this eastern bird... lady” ;)

ringo can’t take the ring off!

george *about his soup*: “there’s footprints in here!” wut

THINGS ESCALATE SO QUICKLY IN THIS MOVIE!!!!

jeweler: “some problems are matrimonial” john: “eh heh heh” ;)

john wtf

the ring can’t be cut and it’s breaking the tools like rapunzel’s hair! :o

john: “you’re a failure, aren’t you scientist?” shut up plz

scientist: “voltage, up, up!” paul: “up up up up!!!” awww :)

scientist: “made in america you see!” john: “this is english” lol :D

john: “how do you feel?” ringo: “i used to use me hands” john: “he used to use his hands” lol :D

OMG I REMEMBER SEEING THAT WHEN I WAS A BABY FAN!!!!!

paulie likes it ;)

oh no the lady has a gun!! :o

the ‘brain drain’!

beatle logic: sing a song back home ALTHOUGH THEY SHOULD PROBABLY BE TAKING CARE OF THIS SERIOUS RING PROBLEM????

it’s ‘you’ve got to hide your love away’ so that’s cool :D

she’s not impressed :/ (but i am!)

john said the lady had ‘filthy eastern ways’ SHUT UP JAWN >:(

the lady wants ringo to shrink his fingo! :o

wait what

ooh intermission! :D

this is so random lol :D

PART 2 WAS JUST A LADY WASHING SOMEONE WTF WHY

that was random af and very family guy!

ringo’s allergic to penicillin like my mom! :D

OMG THE BAD GUYS ARE ATTACKING!!!!!!

my fave show! :D

JOHN IS ATTACKING IN THE HOLE ATTACK IN THE HOLE!!!!!

aww finger guns! :D

ringo’s crying at his suit having red all over :(

WHY IS THIS FIGHT SO CHAOTIC

ringo: “how can i get the ring off with me hands held up?” lol :D

ringo has a voice crack when he said ‘look!” :D

JOHN GON KILL U!!!!

john’s ‘get out’ is so good omg :D

oh no the scientists really want the ring now! :o

they’re in the snow for ‘ticket to ride’!!! :D

me lol :D

what a giffable shot! :D

:D

ooh music notes! :D

penny lane much? ;)

oh no the guys are watching them... ;)

the lads are saying ‘oh ho ho ho’ WHAT HIGH DORKS

OMG RINGO!!!!!!

he says ‘ouch ouch ouch’ when rolling down the snow lol :D

*OH HO HOS INTENSIFY*

evil snowman... >:)

the bad guys have a curling bomb and one of them keeps saying everything he does lol :D

george: “hey it’s thingie! a fiendish thingie!!” lol :D

guy: “useless! what rubbish!” *THINGIE BLOWS UP A SECOND LATER* lol :D

snowman battle! :o

guy: “in the name of kindness, stop! stop!” the lads: *don’t stop*

HOLY FRICK THEY’RE BEING FLAMETHROWERED

paul running into john at the train station... ;)

ooh sherlock holmes reference!!!!!! :D

:)

ringo: “they have a different religion... i think” lol :D

the scotland guy is mimicking ringo and ringo’s not impressed lol :D

why are the bad guys playing indian music in the phone booth WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE

999 is 911! :D

OMG IT’S MY FAVE HELP SONG ‘I NEED YOU’!!!!! :D

wowza editing in person! :o

paperback writer much? ;)

:D

‘she’s a woman’ from past masters is playing on a walkie talkie! :D

the chief thinks it’s shocking and hates it lol

chief: “take this hastily scribbled note hastily!” lol :D

motorcycle go brrrr

guy: “they shall not pass!” gandolf who

‘the night before is playing!!!! :D

:D

what a cool shot!

‘she’s a woman’ interrupted it no!!!! :/

OMG TNT

good ‘night before’ is back! :D

the lip syncing was kinda off tho

the bad guys are in camoflage and it’s like we’re in ww1!

the song ends ON A BIG AF EXPLOSION WTF

OMG THEY’RE USING MACHINE GUNS THIS IS SERIOUSLY WW1 NOW TH  FRICK

i came here to watch beatles NOT THE WAR

oh no john fell! :o

ringo: “get up johnny! get up for me, baby!” lennstarr tho ;)

so many explosions I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS

guy: “MISSED you naughty boys!!!” ...plz dont call them that :/

victory music is playing did the bad guys win???

wtf is going on THIS ISN’T THE GREAT WAR IT’S THE HELP! WAR

buckingham??? :0

i swear if john is in nothing but a sheet-

not your lockie’s palace ;)

ringo: “IT APPEARS i need one card. IT APPEARS i need to chuck one in” IT APPEARS that you need to emphasize that for some reason...

them playing cards is so domestic :)

ringo: “i don’t just use my drumstick for drummin’” paul: “well what else is it for?” ringo: “i use it!” OH GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT RONGLES

john: “we’re risking our lives for the most useless member!” is that fingo or ringo

ringo: “let that be an end to it, END TO IT” same ringo

omg the palace is haunted! :o

OMG QUEEN REFERENCE???

OMG SOMEONE’S SHOOTING

the guards are tripping over each other!

the scientists are the guards!!!! :o

they made time slow down! :o

someone sprayed that red paint and the lads yeeted out of there! :o

they’re in a bar DRINK DRINK DRINK EVERYBOOODY!!!!”

paul to ringo: “you’re a rat underneath aren’t you?” OHHHHH ROASTED!!!!!

paul used to wink at paul... mcharrison has sailed! :D

OMG TIGER ROAR WHAT

ringo’s alone with it no! :o

thanks for the clarification?

lady to ringo: “don’t move!” ringo to ‘a tiger’: “don’t move, that’s what she said!” lol :D

why is she whistling the 9th symphony

they’re all singing it to make the tiger calm and ringo’s like “ok!!”

A WHOLE CROWD IS SINGING IT WHAT

this is legit abbey road! :o

ooh bahamas!

i love how george is taking pics of everything :D

i didn’t think cameras sounded like static back then tho...

oh no THE CHIEF IS THERE TOO!!!!! :o

BOI WHY DID HE SLAP A GUY

no the scientist is there too! :o

prepare for the beatle bahamas battle lads...

idk what pc is but they all the soldiers all named that

ooh ‘another girl’! :D

i heard it was cold when the lads filmed the movie so rip to their arms :/

CAKE

so much purple! :o

hey john! :D

george: “let’s play a game it’s called peep peep peep peep-“ yup THEY SO INCREDIBLY HIIIGHHHH

THEY’RE SAYING ‘OH HO HO HO’ AGAIN WHY

the lady said ringo’s getting ‘disembowled’ and john’s like “keeps ye busy eh?” like the lil’ bish he is

ringo: “i don’t want to knock anyone’s religion but-” *runs away*

bike lads! :D

they keep saying ‘let’s go back and get ‘em!” yep they hiiiigh

a triumphant one of ‘i’m so happy to dance with you’ is playing!! :D

OMG ONE OF THE BAD GUYS IS SKYDIVING

wtf bro

paul’s explaining things cryptically and george is like ‘why tho’

:D

paul: “there’s the temple and that swimming pool and... i’m lost” lol :D

ringo: “read on” B)

OMG ISSA TRAP!!!!

george: “typical!” lol :D

WHAT DOES ‘KAILI’ MEAN

RINGO GO UNDER!!

omg he’s in the orange blanket! :o

ringo: “HEEEEELP!!! help me!!!” title drop roll credits! :D

dere he is! :D

i remember seeing that before i was a fan and thinking it wasn’t beatles lol

john: “he’s got a plan” paul: “a really famous plan!” john: “a plan superintendent...” superintendent: “you see i’ve got a plan!” ...i think he has a plan

:D

OMG ‘HARD DAY’S NIGHT’ IS PLAYING SO TRIUMPHANTLY

the plan is baseball?

#spon

smoooosh

everyone’s calling for ringo and george is beating his chest lol :D

THE SCIENTISTS GOT WINGO NOOOOOO

scientist: “dust in the generator. gets everywhere” and it’s rough & coarse too...

the lady is saving ringo!

the scientist doesn’t need the ring now that he has...’nobel prize juice’?”

they keep saying ‘eastern’ as the language.... :/

ringo: “i can’t swim!” lady: “what do you mean you can’t swim?” he means HE CAN’T SWIM LADY!!!!

oh no THE SACRIFICE!!!!

the sacrifice involves a horrible, inaccessible name... voldemort?

he’s free!!!! :D

ringo: “i don’t subscribe to your religion!” lol :D

‘help’ is playing again! :D

and the chief has the ring now... >:)

;D

...what does that have to do with anything tho

and with the trippy credits came the end of the movie! the only help i’ll be needing is why it was more weird than yellow sub but i had such a fun time with it (especially the snow scene and ‘i need you’)! what a great movie! :D

[letterboxd]

Lady Sex Pirate.

Rising star Beanie Feldstein, author Caitlin Moran and producer Alison Owen talk about bringing Moran’s semi-autobiographical novel How to Build a Girl to the screen. The coming-of-age comedy, set amidst the early-90s Britpop scene, landed virtually at IFC Films this month.

In How to Build a Girl, Beanie Feldstein (Lady Bird, Booksmart) plays Johanna Morrigan, a working-class teen from Wolverhampton confident that she’s destined for greater things. Johanna blags her way into a job as a music critic, gives herself the pseudonym ‘Dolly Wilde’, and has a quick rise to infamy by finding ever more creative ways to trash the music and musicians she’s reviewing.

Johanna hits the ropes when her monstrous alter ego causes problems at work and pain for her family. One cringeworthy moment sees her slinging insults at her parents and beloved brother, like “See how you manage without me, Ringo, Ringo and Ringo. F—k you all.”

Directed by Coky Giedroyc and also starring Paddy Considine, Chris O’Dowd, Emma Thompson and some “good Alfie Allen representation”, How to Build a Girl is really Beanie Feldstein’s show. She carries the sex-positive portrait of an ambitious young woman in the early-90s London music scene; a time before social media, when all-powerful British music magazines could anoint legends or kill a career with a single one-paragraph review.

As a statement on cultural criticism, writes Gavin on Letterboxd, How To Build a Girl “takes a crop of the media’s most hated contributors—critics—and then chisels away at them with maniacal and sometimes savage satire”. Johanna’s attempts to break into the media boys’ club, CinemaBabel writes, “is sure to resonate with many young women [who] have found themselves with the attention from those they’ve craved, especially men, only to find themselves hollower and [more] alone than they ever were at their lowest point”. Siobhan agrees, writing that the film is “perfect for girls who spent their years dreaming about getting out of the suburbs for something bigger and better”.

As is the way with adaptations, some aspects of the novel get short shrift in the film (Johanna’s home life, the collateral damage she leaves in her wake). For some, there’s also an ick-factor in seeing a sixteen-year-old shagging older blokes in the current #MeToo context, but that is part of the point Caitlin Moran is making. The film is set in 1993—long before #TimesUp—and Johanna’s workmates are intended to come off as “a bunch of creeps”.

At the film’s TIFF premiere last year, Letterboxd’s editor-in-chief Gemma Gracewood met up with the creative team for a chat about bringing the novel—the first in a trilogy about Johanna Morrigan’s adventures in music and love—to life.

Beanie Feldstein as Johanna Morrigan as Dolly Wilde, with her rock critic colleagues.

There’s so much love for Booksmart and Lady Bird on Letterboxd. What will fans of those films enjoy about How to Build a Girl? Beanie Feldstein: Oh, it’s such a beautiful coming-of-age story about a girl that’s never had that story told before. Obviously it’s loosely based on Caitlin’s life and she is literally my feminist hero! I mean, she’s like my aunt or sister at this point but I still shake around her because I just love her so much.

Truly, the way she extends a hand out to young women and says “I’ve got you and I’ve been there and you can own your experience, whatever that experience may be, and that is beautiful” is so special. It was the biggest honor of my life, and the biggest challenge too. Because I’m not from Wolverhampton, England, and I’ve never, you know, walked out in a bikini made of trash bags before!

It’s really the most beautiful coming-of-age story. So much heart, so much humor, and really touching at moments in a way that I think is unexpected. And it’s really sort of three different movies in one: you have the beautiful family story, you have all the boys at the magazine workplace, and then you have John Kite [played by Alfie Allen], and it just sweeps you off your feet as an audience member.

You are making films that so many girls get to experience as part of their own coming of age. What films did you love, growing up? BF: I grew up obsessed with Funny Girl. Fanny Brice is my idol! But there’s so many that I cherish. Bridesmaids, my senior year of high school, was, like, the best movie ever. It was the most memorable theater-going experience of my life. But what I love about How to Build a Girl is that I’ve done so many films about friendship, which I love and cherish and is so important to me, but I feel like it was really interesting to explore what happens when a girl doesn’t have friends at that time in her life. I feel like that’s also a very important story, because not everyone has those people. Not everyone’s lucky enough to find their Lady Bird or their Amy, and so it was very special for me—and also very scary, I’m out here alone!

If there’s to be a film trilogy, are you in? BF: Of course! I mean, she’s my girl! I feel so protective of Johanna and I love her so much.

Caitlin Moran with Beanie Feldstein (left) at the ‘How to Build a Girl’ red carpet at TIFF 2019.

It’s so powerful to see the sex-positivity in How To Build a Girl. It feels like we’re finally getting a run of films that show young, female sexuality in a positive light, rather than as a force of darkness. Caitlin Moran: Well that was the key thing! I just felt that every film that I’d watched that was about female sexuality was like, the women would be punished for it. Like, you either get bummed over some bins or you just regret it or it just becomes very sour. I just wanted to see a girl who’s in control of her sexuality, who’s curious, who wants to go out and have sex adventures. She’s a ‘lady sex pirate’, that’s her whole thing. She just wants to go out and have adventures and gather her memories. Beanie looks incredible in this. You’ve never seen a girl that looks like Beanie, wearing her clothes and owning her sexuality and owning her physicality. It’s joyful in every single way. It makes my heart sing.

The soundtrack is soaked in 90s bangers. Did the songs make it to the soundtrack because you insisted they be in there? Did you personally ask the artists for their permission? CM: Oh, absolutely. We wrote the whole script with all the music cues in it and 90 percent of those are in [the film]. It’s set in 1993 in London, so it’s an incredibly exciting time for rock’n’roll. We’ve got Elastica in there, we’ve got Happy Mondays, Primal Scream, Manic Street Preachers—this big rush of music.

And then John Kite is a singer-songwriter, and a very talented one. And we were like, “Oh my god, we’re going to have to get songs for him to sing!” And so I rang my friend Guy Garvey from Elbow and said, “Could you write us a song?” And he wrote us a song called ‘Day-Making Girl’, which, on his first day on set, Alfie had to sing a capella to a thousand people and absolutely nailed it in one. So it turns out Lily Allen isn’t the only rock star in that family. He sings like an angel!

You’ve written newspaper columns, books of essays, novels, and now your first screenplay (with John Niven). Which screenwriters’ work have you loved through the years? CM: Oh my gosh. Who do I really love? If you read the scripts of Bruce Robinson, who did Withnail and I, and How to get Ahead in Advertising, those scripts read beautifully. If you actually read them as scripts, all the description is there, he describes the sky looking the color of burnt sugar, and that’s someone who’s really enjoying writing and you feel that vivacity come through on the page and in the character of Withnail, so I love Bruce Robinson’s scripts.

More recently, who do I love? Juno was my favorite film of the last ten years—just the way that that story was told just made me incredibly happy. I just love Diablo Cody so much. When you read her stuff you feel her heart, sometimes her groin! And her massively exploding soul! So that’s what I’m always looking for. I just want to see things on screen that look real, that someone went, “I’m going to have to write this or bust.” I hate films that look like someone went, “Oh, we’d better make a film that looks like a film.” I want people to have sat down and done a list of things where they’re like, “What would I like to see on screen that I’ve never seen before?”

And that’s what we tried to do with How to Build a Girl. When I was writing the book, it was just a list of things that I’d never heard anybody talk about with girls. At the time that was, like, masturbation, sexual experimentation, optimism, confidence, being working class and making your way up from scratch. Finding a rock star that isn’t a clichéd druggy rock star. He’s actually a good, working-class boy who becomes a great friend. I’ve never seen that. Usually if a rock star character turns up in a film or a book, they’re going to be a bad ’un. And in our John Kite, he’s just a good boy and a friend. So yeah, I just ticked everything off both with the book and the film: “Yeah, we’ve done all these things.”

Producer Alison Owen.

What was the moment you knew you had to option Caitlin’s novel? Alison Owen: When I read her first book [of essays], which was How to Be a Woman, for me it was like the freaking Bible or something. Caitlin’s writing is every argument I’ve ever had with anyone at dinner or at a party. I thought, ‘If I just carry this book around with me the whole time, every time I have a row with someone about feminism I can pull it out and I can just quote it to them and I’ll have the answers.’ She’s much more articulate and intelligent than me!

But of course How to Be a Woman was quite tricky as a conversion into a film or a television series as it’s more of a how-to manual than it is a story. So I was really excited about How to Build a Girl because there’s a real story there. It’s got a spine and a shape that you can make into a movie. So I was like, yes, that’s the one we’re going to do.

The moment I read How to Build a Girl, I wanted to option it, but that was already optioned. And then by the time her second one came out [How To Be Famous], the option on that first one had lapsed, and so I scooped in and optioned all of them.

Laurie Kynaston (as Krissie Morrigan) and Beanie Feldstein (as Johanna Morrigan) read Laurie’s zine, featuring cover star Alfie Allen (as 90s heartthrob John Kite).

Did you always imagine the very Californian Beanie Feldstein as the one to play this teenager from Wolverhampton? AO: Well that was crazy. Obviously, we assumed we would be on a kind of street search, because we knew we weren’t going to find a ‘name’ to play a sixteen-year-old girl from Wolverhampton. Shaheen Baig, our casting director, was doing workshops and street casting and open casting and casting calls and this was all going on and we kept finding really good people, but nobody that would hold a movie for 100 minutes.

And then, I am on the board of the Savannah Film Festival. I went to Savannah and there was an early screening of Lady Bird, and the second I came out of that cinema I called Coky and I was like, “I found Johanna!” And she was like “What do you mean? We’re trying to cast a sixteen-year-old from Wolverhampton! You’re trying to cast a 25-year-old girl from California? What are you talking about?!” I said, “Just wait till you see it. She’s Johanna.”

We got Beanie to Skype with Coky, and Coky was bowled away straight away. She really just has all the qualities of Johanna. That kind of boundless joy and optimism and wonder that you need from that character. She’s got to be quite horrible, so you need someone who is innately likeable so that you don’t go off her at that point. You’ve got to keep hold of that washing line all through that movie.

How to Build a Girl is all about a young woman discovering who she is, both professionally and personally. With your abundant screen credits, what advice do you have for young women wanting to step up into producing? AO: I think just believe in yourself and be tenacious. You know, it’s such a young industry. That’s what I always say when I speak to students or young people and they’re like, “How do I ever get to do what you do?” I’m like, “You’re much better placed to do it than I am! I’m 58! Nobody wants me anymore!” You guys, you know what you’re watching and what all your friends are watching and the things that are going to turn you on. Believe in those, because that’s what’s going to sell. It’s a market.

Related content

Teenage Wasteland: A Comprehensive List of Coming-of-Age Films

Vanessa’s Bumper List of Films Directed by Women

The Official Letterboxd Top 100 Films Directed by Women

‘How to Build a Girl’ is available in the US now via IFC Films.

[waveofahand]

30 Second FanFic: Paul’s Got John’s Thigh

ANNOUNCER: “Ladies and Gentlemen, those fresh-faced lads from Liverpool! THE BEATLES!”

ANNOUNCER: “Here is Ringo, the blue-eyed drummer! Ringo, don’t look so nervous!”

RINGO: “Ain’t nervous, am I? Only I am a little on account of I haven’t got anyone to hold on to my thigh, like Lennon does...” ANNOUNCER: “Erm... the Liverpudlian accent sometimes is difficult to understand, but obviously Ringo means he is feeling high as a pie in the sky from all of their successes, isn’t that right, George Harrison?”

GEORGE: “I was told there would be a supper? Did someone say pie? Oh, and no, Ringo is right. Paul’s got John by the thigh. You can tell because John is the only one of us who looks happy. He’s blissed out. They’re totally bi. Speaking of thighs, will there be chicken?”

ANNOUNCER: “Once more, ladies and gentlemen at home, we emphasize that the provincial scouser accent and linguistic shortcuts can sometimes be confusing to the rest of us, but here George has told us that John and Paul are nearby and anxious to talk to Britain. John Lennon, as leader of this fun-filled, wholesome, always-joking group, isn’t that right?”

JOHN: “Look at my eyes. Paul’s totally got my thigh and he’s making me sigh. Earlier he did my tie. I have no idea what’s going by, here, because Paul’s got my thigh. I feel like I’m gonna die because Paul has got my thigh, and look at my eyes, you can see I feel high when Paul’s got my thigh, even though I’m a guy. Give George some pie and pass me by. Bedtime is nigh because Paul has my thigh. Paul’s got my thigh, he’s got my thigh, my thigh he has today. Can’t you see it in my eyes...”

ANNOUNCER: “There you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen, the great creative force behind the Beatles, giving us a demonstration of how lightning fast is his rhyming mind and delivering yet another nonsense poem to our viewers at home. And, erm....Paul...erm...”

PAUL: “I’ve totally got John by the thigh.” ANNOUNCER: “’By-and-by’, did you say?” PAUL: “By his thigh, T-H-I-G-H.” ANNOUNCER: “Erm...why...erm...Could you...could you...put both of your hands on the table, then, please, for the children watching at home?”

PAUL: “You don’t want me to do that. This is what keeps John calm...”

ANNOUNCER: “But...but...really, Mr. McCartney...this is...this seems very wrong...”

PAUL: “Oh, yes, VERY long, in fact, [turns to Ringo] I think I’m right in saying ‘long’, aren’t I?”

RINGO: “Well, it’s all relativity, innit? If we’re comparing, I’d say ‘long’ describes you, while ‘thick’ better describes John. He’s a stouter lad, isn’t he, George?”

GEORGE: “Are we still talking about John’s thighs? Yes, John’s thigh’s are thick, and Paul’s are long. Either way, I prefer breasts to thighs...and prefer them fried rather than baked. I do think Paul keeps John’s thighs on fire...”

ANNOUNCER: “It appears I’ve lost control of the script...”

PAUL: “Oh, don’t fret, darling, I’ll soon have you in my grip, if that’s what you really want. Two hands, no waiting. I can be a very busy boy!

JOHN:  “Paul has my thigh. Paul’s got my thigh, he’s got my thigh, my thigh he has today. Can’t you see it in my eyes...all I can do is sigh when Paul’s got his hand upon my thigh...”

PAUL: “I love this lad. Also, I’ll have three birds tonight, in succession.”

JOHN: “Paul has my thigh. My heart is in the sky. His hand upon my thigh. Ask me anything, and I’ll say ‘fie’ because all I can think about is Paul’s hand on my thigh, and after he makes those three birds fly he’s gonna make me sigh, which I know because his hand is on my thigh, and I ain’t gonna lie, when he comes by, I’m gonna die, because Paul’s hand is on my thigh...” 

PAUL: “That’s right, Johnny...” JOHN: “My thigh he has this day...” 

PAUL: “You’re the leader of this group....of course you are...”