#I feel like the moment it all started missing for me was when Kristin signed up to be president

[stacy-fakename]

Rat Grinders:Don’t do anything to the Bad Kids until antagonized, and it’s later revealed that their bad actions were a result of being groomed by one of their teachers for years and then murdered and possessed.

Intrepid Heroes:Fuck you, sending you to hell and you can’t be revived.

[solaneceae]

grief

a team bolas oneshot (read on ao3) written before green team was split between red and blue, so in this they all died. angst with a side of family comfort. tw: blood and gore, temporary character death, self-inflicted burns

Pac wakes with a deep ache inside his chest and at the back of his mind — like a fresh, open wound that’s still bleeding. He reaches out, for the comforting hum of his soulmate’s sleeping mind on the other side, and finds nothing.

He doesn’t understand. But he also does. He’s surprised he’s not immediately breaking down screaming, but maybe he’s been broken for a long time and just didn’t notice until now.

He finds Pierre and Bad, busying themselves at the anvils. And he asks.

(Nothing, he has nothing, Richas missing, Cellbit insane and on the hunt for him, Forever dead, Mike dead, Bagi dead, Felps still MIA.

Fit.

Fit’s gone. Fit has died hating him.)

“I see,” he says, numb and empty.

And he draws out his sword.

When Red Team wakes the next morning, some of them are still holding onto hope. Hope that it was all a lie, hope that Green would merely be dissolved, its members assigned to the two remaining teams.

Hope is a cruel, fickle thing. And it dwindles fast in the minds of team Bolas as the hours start to trickle by, with no sign of any green-tinted name popping up on the global chat. Even faster when Carré comes back from recon, reporting the disappearance of Green’s spawn barrier as well as their mission NPCs.

The silence within their cave is deafening, only broken by the sound of a hammer hitting red-hot metal over the anvil. Some of them just check their comms obsessively, fraying minds tethering between denial and a complete breakdown. 

Cellbit hasn’t moved an inch since he woke up, sitting up at the center of their shared nest with absolutely nothing in his icy, blue slitted eyes as they stare at his commlink. At the last messages he’d sent to Roier, still unanswered. (His husband is gone. His sister is gone. His best friend, his President is gone. He has nothing left, and his tongue tastes like unspilled blood.)

Phil is looming over a crafting table, mindlessly placing and removing materials with no rhyme or reason. (Étoiles is gone, his best friend and brother in arms, his devil-may-care attitude, his humor, his fearless smile. Fit’s gone, his shameless flirting and unwavering determination. Forever. Forever. Kristin is eerily silent.)

Jaiden sits in a faraway corner, sharpening her sword until the edge can slice the very empty space between atoms. (Roier taught her. He taught her so much. She would make him proud.)

Charlie is off near the ovens, baking bread after bread after bread in a compulsive act of self-soothing that doesn’t quite work. (He thinks of his bitch wife, and hopes he’ll be smart enough to stay asleep today.)

Baghera’s shaking, huddled close to her fellow avian and mentor as she watches him work without really processing it, the crow’s hand occasionally tapper on her arm to keep her from ripping her feathers off. (She thinks of her brother. Her stubborn, annoying baby brother and his cursed bleeding heart. His hair had been cut so short, she’d been wanting to take a moment to even it, maybe style it a little even. She thinks of Pierre, and feels hatred. She thinks of Badboy, and feels betrayal.)

Foolish straightens up, rolls his shoulder as he admires his handiwork. (He thinks of his adopted son, and remembers why Bad always told him not to get attached to mortals. But Foolish never listens, and never will, despite how much it hurts every single time.) “It’s ready,” he drones out, catching the attention of everyone present. Phil turns to him, expression set in stone and unreadable. “Let me see.”

Team Bolas congregates around their leader, slightly bowed in something like reverence as he walks past them towards the shark-totem. Foolish grins, mirthless and cold, as he hands him a metal stick. The head of it is adorned with a strange shape, still reddish from heat. “Good job,” the Angel of Death nods, eyes and hands stained black as a few stray plants and roots wither away under his feet. His flock shivers like a single entity, all of them fastening their masks over weary, tear-streaked faces. Foolish whistles, spinning the branding iron like a majorette would their stick. “Thanks, Crowfather sir! Wanna do the honours?” Foolish chirps.

Philza Minecraft nods, silently letting his robe fall off his shoulders, exposing his naked back. “Let’s do it quick,” he says, looking over each of his fledgelings, who bow their heads in unwavering loyalty. “Today, we don’t let them rest. Not for a second. Doesn’t matter how many times they kill us, we swarm them, again and again. We, teach them pain.” He feels the heat of the furnace on his back as he sits before it, Foolish humming a cheery tune as he pokes at the blazing inferno inside. “Baghera, how many chainsaws did you make?”

The duck tilts her head. He can see her red-tinted eyes through the mask, and they crinkle in vindictive joy. “More than enough,” she coos, and Jaiden bumps her mask against hers, hello, clean, flock, hello. Phil croons out a yesyes. “Good. Very good.” He beckons her over, runs his claws through her hair-feathers lovingly. “You’ve become stronger. I’m proud of you. All of you.”

“Thanks Dad,” the duck hybrid whispers, preening under the praise. “Get ready,” Foolish warns. Phil doesn’t wince, doesn’t brace himself. Doesn’t care. “Jaiden,” he says, and the conure chirps in acknowledgment. “Taunt them. Trick them. Use every dirty tactic you can think of, I don’t care, this is no longer a fight. It’s retribution. Carré,” he turns to the warrior in the cat onesie, “I trust you. Put the fear of you in their hearts.” Carré gives a salute, sword gleaming in the dim light of their den. “Charlie, Foolish, literally go apeshit. Now’s the time.” Foolish laughs, eager, and Charlie’s codified parts glitch in anticipation. “Cellbit.” and the detective perks up. Phil flashes him a cruel smile. “Do what you do best,” he declares, and the Brazilian looks like Christmas came early.

Then red-hot iron slams against the skin of his back, and Phil lets out a gasp as his flesh starts to sizzle and burn. His talons dig deep into his own thighs in an attempt to distract himself from the pain, and the air smells like cooking meat. Cellbit starts howling first, the last of his sanity breaking when the smell hits his nostrils even through the mask, pupils dilating — like a shark smelling blood. The rest of them soon join in, screeching and laughing, too loud, too high-pitched and broken. Then Foolish removes the iron, and Philza almost falls over under the mixture of pain and relief. The rest of the flock rush over to support him, glancing at the result of Foolish’s hard work with barely disguised awe.

Angry red lines, bloody and bubbling, form the simplified shape of a gas mask right between the mangled remains of his ebony wings. A symbol of loyalty, devotion, belonging. (Pack, flock, family, murder.) “How’s it look?” the crow wheezing out, somehow still mustering the strength to make a joke out of his own agony. Jaiden flashes him a thumbs up. “Nice.”

“I want to go next,” Baghera pipes up, wings twitching with anticipation. Foolish nods, letting the others help Philza wobble away to let him recover for a minute. “Alright. Get over here then, sister.”

(There is no coming back after this, they all know that. Those marks would be here to stay, because self-inflicted scars don’t get erased by respawn, as some of them had found out over time. They all count on it.)

***

The trip is like a blur, partly because of the pain making their vision go hazy and, partly because the sky is red red red and it makes their minds fuzzy and time all wibbly-wobbly.

Charlie remembers hot desert sun hitting his shoulders and colouring them an angry red, Carré taking off his hood to breathe properly. He remembers Foolish carrying them through a freezing river, ice-cold water a temporary balm against the fresh burns in the center of his chest. (He doesn’t regret it. The pain is worth it. And the code infection is so cold, cold cold, the blazing heat radiating from the brand mark is almost soothing in comparison.) He remembers Baghera, limping the whole way, yet refusing any help. Pushing herself further than she ever has to keep up with them. Refusing to be a burden, refusing to drag them down. “I’m fine,” she would say, brushing her feathers over the mark on her right hip. “I’m fine.”

The sky is red, everything is. The blood-fog rolls in, or maybe it’s the toxic gas disaster. They can’t tell, with the masks that keep them breathing and tinted lenses painting the landscape crimson. They press on, helping each other whenever one falls, because their armors might be shit still despite yesterday’s grind, and they might have nothing. But they have each other.

When they finally find Blue, it doesn’t quite feel like catharsis. Not yet. All seven of them loom over their location - Pierre, Bad, Tubbo. (A shame. A shame he was here. He’d tried, they all knew that. But it hadn’t been enough.) They can’t see Pac anywhere, but given the few death messages that popped into global chat earlier, Phil can take a guess at what happened. (Note to self: extend an invitation to the Brazilian later.) No words are exchanged (quiet, quiet, don’t get spotted), only quick glances and flexing talons and flashes of teeth hidden beneath rubber masks. The sun hits their backs (it hurts, for Phil and Cellbit, who has chosen to place his own brand in the small of his back. He’s forsaken armor for this, he wants to feel every slash and tear, he wants to feel something, anything), their shadow-cast silhouettes stark against the red skies.

(They are pack, scavengers. They are eager to sink their teeth into writhing flesh and sharpen their claws on picked-clean bones.)

Philza raises an arm when Bad spots them, immediately barking out orders at Pierre and Tubbo, who doesn’t look like much of a leader at the moment. (What a shame. He deserved better.) The flock tenses, talons and claws digging into loose dirt, eerie growling and giggling and Charlie’s eager ‘how about now? can we go, please, dad?’

The Angel of Death looks down as his children. He lets his arm fall, and six shadows take off and rush downhill in a cacophony of barks and howls and cackling, hyena-like laughter.

Cellbit can see nothing at all, blinded by burning demon blood in his eyes, in his mouth, in his hair and beard. His knife digs into something soft and warm, someone screams, doesn’t know who. Something trips him and his head hits the ground, stunning him, and a sword stabs him in the shoulder and he laughs, ripping it out to roll away, uncaring of the copious amount of blood he’s losing. He hears the revving of an engine nearby, and wipes the blue liquid out of his eyes just in time to see Baghera slice at Pierre with her chainsaw, severing bone and tendons from his left shoulder to his right hip. Blood and viscera fall out of the gaping wound as he chokes, impossibly blue eyes widening, and then his body falls and the chime of death-respawn rings out over the battlefield. One. 

“First kill!” Carré woops, blocking strike after strike from a hissing Bad. “My turn now,” he grins, feral and they all know he’s the only human here how could a human feel so much like them, and his legs do a thing none of them can comprehend but he’s behind the demon now, thrusting his blade forward and into a groove in the fiend’s diamond armor. Chime. Bad falls, dead before his body hits the ground. Two. The Argentinian Beast swipes to the side, ridding his blade of sickly blue liquid. His sleeve creeps back up his arm, revealing the bottom of their symbol. “Mejórate, noob.”

“Oh SHIT!” Jaiden cackles, busy carving out the inside of Tubbo’s ribcage like a halloween pumpkin. “Carré’s out for blood, we love to see it.”

“Where’s Pac?” Cellbit grumbles, teeth around someone’s liver. Foolish rushed back from respawn, waving at them cheerfully, and bodies an incoming Pierre to the ground to bash his head against a rock until his skull gives and splits in half like a watermelon. “Uuuuh, dunno! Why, wanna eat his other leg?”

“Maybe.”

“Be nice,” Baghera pouts, beak splattered in red as she discards her broken saw, only to summon a fresh one from her inventory. She looks down at it with motherly fondness. “He did kill Bad earlier. And he lost Mike, and my brother. I say we leave him be.”

“Mmmh. Careful, here comes BitchBoy.”

“Oh, hello,” the duck chirps, evading a strike from Bad’s scythe. “Did you miss me, Bébou?” she giggles, thrusting her saw forward and cutting through the demon’s armor like it’s butter. Bad lets out a frustrated what the FUDGE before the blades pierce through the enchantments and through his belly. Chime. “I don’t know if I missed you,” she hums, throws her machine away, summons a new one. “I’m still thinking about it.”

Jaiden howls at her, Foolish barks, and all of them devolve into throat-tearing screams as their clothes soak up all the red, red above, red below, red, red. Philza climbs up a tower and swoops in, deadly precise, skewers another Tubbo that just showed up. “You should really give it a rest, mate,” he hums without an ounce of aggressivity, sitting on the lad’s chest as he wheezes out his last breath. “You’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”

“Can’t—” the goat hybrid chokes, bloody foam bubbling out of his mouth as his lungs fill up with fluid. “I’m. Tina. Nikki, Missa.” The name makes Phil blink. “Can’t… abandon them.”

“Suit yourself,” the Crowfather shrugs, then plants his blade into his former protégé’s neck with nary a sound. Chime.

Chime. 

Chime. 

Chime. 

They don’t always win, far from it. Chime . But they don’t care, losing themselves in the cycle of fight-kill-die-respawn-run-fight. Chime. Even when their resources run out, when they have nothing left but their own hands to fight with, they still come, again and again, moved by the collective desire to make them pay. They get less and less kills, armors and weapons gone, their own bodies piling up in a grotesque display. Chime. Chime. Chime. Blue Team tries to run and hide, but Jaiden and Foolish sniff them out like a pair of bloodhounds, always on their tail as the rest of the flock follows. The hours trickle, too slow yet too fast, and Blue is now winning because they kill them a lot more often than Red kills them, but they don’t give a single shit about that stupid bar made up but a stupid eyeball thing that they are done entertaining because THEIR FUCKING FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE DEAD.

They rip, and tear, and bite when nothing else works anymore. Everything hurts, repeated respaws and the brand mark making their bodies stumble and fall and shake and seize against the cold dirt, making them easy targets. But they keep fighting.

Cellbit starts crying at some point, tears washing off the blood in twin lines on both his cheeks, and he repeats his husband’s nickname like some fucked up mantra as he stabs into Pierre’s chest over and over again, the engineer long dead. Yet he still keeps going, until Phil gently tears him away from the body to press his own bloody forehead against the Brazilian’s, letting him cling to his robes like the crow’s his last anchor to the mortal plane. Foolish and Jaiden come back, huffing, saying they’ve lost track of their target, and everyone stands still for a moment.

Phil’s commlink buzzes. He glances at it, spots something blue, turns it off. No more parlé, no more talks. “I think they’re done for today,” he sighs, helping Cellbit to his feet. “Let’s go back.”

“To the den?” Charlie asks, ripping off his mask to shake off stray pieces of viscera before putting it back on. His entire body is soaked in red, but Phil can spot some green beneath it. His code arm glitching erratically, but he barely seems to feel it. 

Philza nods. “To the nest.”

“Can we burn?” Baghera asks. Her voice is shot, just like after an intense session of karaoke. “I don’t wanna walk back. I wanna burn.”

“Me too,” Jaiden raises her hand, Charlie following suit. “Oooh, we should all do it,” the conure gasps, already piling up dead wood and whipping out her flint and steel. “It’s like a warpstone! But crispier.”

Maybe Phil should discourage that. But his bad knee hurts like a motherfucker, and what’s a little more agony after today. “Sure, fuck it.”

The pier lights up their surroundings as they dance their way into the flames, hot coal burning the soles of their feet. They briefly wonder if this is what witches did back in the day, before their last hearts are drained and they fall into the space-between-spaces, respawn mechanic spitting them out the other side and into the damp coolness of their cave-home-nest-den.

Their wounds are gone, as always. But not the brand, still pulsing with dull pain on each of their bodies. They all put ice on it, mechanically, minds already far away as their timer nears its end for the day.

None of them bother to clean up before it hits zero. The pack huddles into the nest together, blood-sticky and shaky and Cellbit is still sobbing, Jaiden’s arms around him while she croons and chirps, avian words eaten up by her own hiccuping sobs ( help, sad, sad, flock) , Charlie rubbing soothing circles into the cat hybrid’s back as he wails. Carré whispers praise and fighting tips to Baghera’s who’s only half-listening, wrapping up Dad’s sprained wing in a makeshift splint. Foolish sits close, humming absentmindedly as he finger-combs the knots and bits of flesh out of Jaiden’s long hair. “...You guys wanna move to Eggxile with me?” Charlie asks, drowsy and sluggish, Baghera’s hand-wing in his code-infected one. “When we go back. You can- you can take care of Flippa with me, if… you know. If this shit doesn’t work out.”

Jaiden laughs, wet and unstable. “I’d love that actually.”

“Your house has fumes in it,” Cellbit adds, so quiet it’s hard to make out. “I like that. It’s homey.”

“We can keep the masks there, it’s perfect,” Baghera approves, and Phil finds himself considering it because Charlie’s ramshackle house might be turning into code shit, but at least it’s far away, safe, away, away, and he doesn’t know if he can trust anyone outside his flock after this. Not stay on the wall, where everyone and their dog can show up unannounced. “Maybe,” he says.

Then their comms buzz, darkness claiming them quick.

[dontcryminecraft]

This shouldn't work as well as it does: Lily of the Valleys Accidental Symbolism

my sister finally watched the Wilbur Soot VOD so I finally could talk to her about it and we got to this scene here:

and I mentioned the symbolism aspect of it and couldn't remember it exactly so I looked it up and holy shit there is a lot! I'm gonna put a 'read more' tag since there is a lot here, so click you want an in-depth dive into my favorite part about the dsmp: Accidental Symbolism

So you want to know more! Awesome! I had a lot of fun researching this! Let's get started!

So the Lily of the Valley has a lot of meanings.

1. FTD, a flower shop, puts in number one on their apology flower list and says:

"Lily of the valley is the best apology flower if you don’t know how to apologize to someone you hurt. This delicate white flower represents rebirth, which can be the result of a broken relationship if your apology is received well. It can express the start of a new chapter in the relationship and leave the past behind."

So yeah, perfect for c!Wilbur at this moment. He wants to apologize to those he's hurt, yet he doesn't apologize to Tommy. Probably cause he doesn't know how or is ready yet to confront their relationship. It also represents Rebirth, as in "starting new chapters, and leaving the past behind," which Wilbur all wants to do.

2. FTD also has more facts here, which include:

In Victorian Times, the Lily of the Valley represents a "Return to Happiness" (fitting for the Wilbur, and crimeboys, lore rn) and can also see as a sign of humility in modern times, which is again fitting because truly apologizing to everyone Wilbur hurt takes a lot of humility, I'd say.

3. According to FunnyHowFlowersDoThat, here, they say:

"This flower symbolizes absolute purity, youth, sincerity, and discretion. But most importantly, it symbolizes happiness."

Youth reminds me of Tommy, cause obviously, he's 'the child' and Wilbur's younger brother, so him standing there matches that. Sincerity for, again, the apologies. Discretion and purity don't really have a match here that I can clearly define, tbh.

4. So, that's all well and good but then I thought: Kristin picked the flower. Kristin. The Goddess of Death. When she did that, everyone was talking about the symbolism of it as it connects to "rebirth", since that feels more connected to Death here. And yeah, sure, but also-

Kristin picked that. Her being the goddess of death connects her to Wilbur and Tommy, as both died and got revived. But also, since she's married to Phil there's a family element there. She's probably Wilbur's mom, idk the canon family tree at this point but I think the fridge was de-canonized when Kristin joined in on lore (if so-RIP Samsung Smart Refridgerator you will be missed), but at the least, she's his step-mom (?) since she's married to Phil, Wilbur's dad. And Tommy, Wilbur's brother figure, is standing under her flower.

5. Also, according to FTD here, it also symbolizes "The fragrant white flowers are often associated with traditional feminine values such as motherhood, purity, chastity, and sweetness." This is actually why, fun fact, it's the birth month flower of May, the month with mother's day in it. But also-MOTHERHOOD. HOW. HOW DID SHE MANAGE THAT. MUMZA YOU GENIUS. I don't really care for the other three reasons, I saw that and just-How. How. I'm baffled this was all accidental!

(September 2022 edit for clarity) I found it funny that these flowers represent the second coming of Christ, a deity who is prophesized to return to the mortal realm/earth at some point. Kristin, a fictional goddess of Death, is trying to return to the mortal realm, and in her first lore stream, we see one of their attempts live where she ends her visit by picking the flower I'm talking about here.

BACK TO MORE SERIOUS CONNECTIONS: I've got two more

6. symbolsage, here, says mostly the same thing as every other page, like happiness and chastity, but it also adds "trustworthiness", which is something Wilbur is struggling with regaining.

7. flower-meanings, here, also says similar things, but also notes that because the flower is poisonous, it is popular at funerals which gives it meanings like sadness or pain due to loss or death (grief). Which, is just another death connection between Crimeboys and the flower and death.

So those are my seven flower meaning/lore/symbolism connections between the Lily of the Valley and crimeboys. I have a bunch of other random flower facts I'll probably either make a part two for or reblog this with because I didn't go down a rabbit hole for this knowledge to die out. I'm info-dumping later baby!

But also- HOW WAS THIS ON ACCIDENT? HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW?

Like, watching the scene the above screenshot is from. Watching the entire part where Wilbur is at Phil's and talking about how he needs to apologize and he opens the door and Tommy stands there-his brother who he hurt so much, and we the audience thinks he's going to apologize but he brushes past him to go to Technoblade and apologize. Leaves Tommy with Phil, and later returns to talk to Phil but still does not apologize after yet another bait and switch moment. It's very well written. 10/10.

But Tommy, while standing in the open doorway, ends up under the flower. The Lily of the Valley. Lore wise, its only significance is Kristin randomly (which knowing the flower meanings just kills me cause she could not have gotten a better flower) grabbing it as a present for Phil when she possessed him, but only Phil knows that. It's PURE coincidence it's above the door. It's PURE coincidence that I can extrapolate all that meaning from it, much less meanings that MATCH THE LORE AND CHARACTERS EVEN REMOTELY.

Yeah, flower language changes and fluctuates depending on culture and timeframe, so she could have picked a fucking tulip and probably stumbled upon meaningful lore implications, but just- the is so much accidental symbolism here that FITS unreasonably well that this is just unfair that this is not on purpose and no genius in the background planted that random flower, lucky that it was in Minecraft in the first place, told Kristin to pick it on a whim, and the for Phil to hang it for Tommy to later stand under and look at during this specific lore stream. Nope! That's all PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE. AMAZING.

(btw I got curious as I do and that offhand tulip comment- yeah, someone could make lore/character implications. Minecraft tulips come in pink, orange, white, and red. Red=love, Pink=caring and good wishes, Orange=a sense of understanding and appreciation between two people, usually in a relationship. All three could be cute "messages" between Kristin and Phil. No connection to crimeboys, really-BUT- White=claim worthiness or to send a message of forgiveness=Wilbur and Tommy. Can't escape it.)

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream Moments:

Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Friday 27th of November

Dream Smp today! (it’s gonna be a weird one today)

Greedy greedy phil is back!!! For the higher donos now

Merch Store is closing! Black Friday store code though, use BFCM10 for 10% off!

Lmao Phil and Ponk said hi to Tubbo at the same time

“THE PPS”

Phil removed the austrains sign on the banned board

Wilbur is a vengeful spirit today, and told Phil to check out some areas

Karl made a school out of Phil’s upper floor???

Phil may have to use the gun

Tubbo!

Tubbo wants to make a panic room, given that all (former) presidents have died in l’manberg so far

Phil reminded him of the last panic room

“Why is there a penis?”

The signs are funny though lmao

Things I’ve learned from chat: that thing was supposed to be a strip club?

uhoh ghostbur has joined what will he do

he just showed up and immediately went invisible

BOO

Lol Phil is taking down every sign Wilbur places and Wil just,,, hit him with a fist lol

Tubbo struggling a bit to read Wilbur’s sign and getting mad when Phil is just,,, trying to support him lmao

“Oh my god! My horse is following me!” (Ghostbur was sitting on the horse lol)

LMANTREE NOOOOO

“you and tommy like the tree, three got yeeted”

“you and tommy like the view, view got yeeted”

“is that fox smoking”

tubbo really is already getting corrupted lol “let’s go debt collecting”

chat is starting to spam “techno is right” lol

“i feel like i’m a really good tour guide” tubbo literally while phil is spinning around in confusion

“your taxdollars at work” as tubbo raids eret’s castle and hbomb’s stuff

chat is either spamming “TECHNO WAS RIGHT” or “STEAL FROM THE RICH”

“when the government helps people, pog. when it doesn’t, which it has multiple times on this server, not pog.”

“well if it helps anything, I have a cheeseburger” (in respons to the previous point lmao”

wilbur just,,, following them around in the background lol

In front of the prime church: “Say the line, phil” “worship and prayer” (tubbo actually meant the prime sellout speech, but phil’s chat sells out for him)

(why does the prime picture miss another piece every time i see it?)

“the sooner you take your armour off, the sooner there will be season 5”

Phil wants to add water to the creater until it looks like venice! Rain is turned off, so he’ll add a layer every month or so

a skeleton made an attempt on tubbo’s life lol

and then ghostbur scared him by shooting the bell right next to him

UHOH A CREEPER BLEW UP THE WALL THAT SEALED OFF THE BUTTON ROOM AND GHOSTBUR IS NOW STANDING IT THE BUTTON ROOM

“we can’t lie, he’ll find out” “uhhh no, no I think we can”

“i dont want serious talks thank :)”

“oh this skeleton is getting on my tits”

(why is this post today exclusively quotes? my apologies)

tubbo is struggling so hard with his xbox game bar thingy

“it’s fine you’re old you don’t need kneecaps” when phil took fall damage lol

“this whole operation is in shambles”

Lmaoooo Tubbo went to bring his plate downstairs and asked phil to entertain his chat and phil just,,, put a pufferfish in front of tubbo and dug straight down to look for lava

phil is still in the denial phase of wilbur fucking a salmon lmaooo “no it’s a shapeshifter!”

Today in poetic justice on the dream smp: the panic room for the newest president being constructed out of obsidian mined from the flag the last president made

“you’re the A-S-S! you’re the ass!” (this means advanced secret service, btw)

Chat is now spamming ASSZA

Tubbo now also realised the potential for assza lmaooo

Tubbo stopped after falling down into the panick room and getting stuck there lmaooo

chat spamming “FIX THE LANTERN” and phil not trusting us lmaooo (we were right)

phil is old he took a two hour nap today with kristin lol

momza is calling it a pancake coma lmao

probably hardcore again on monday!

On the way to the nether to grind some ancient debris

Phil will fix the lmantree if people in the discord will send him reference pics!

#LMANTREE

rip the twitter employee

1mil vid on the way! he recorded a bunch for it yesterday and is editing now!

LMAO PEOPLE HAVE SAID PHIL LOOKS LIKE ED SHEERAN

aww tubbo’s stream crashed :((

(also psa stop spamming streamers to vc other creators, they can just contact each other if they want to and it’s up to them to do so, not you)

MOMZA IS NOW ALSO CALLED MRS MINECRAFT

pog the discord has already posted lmantree pics and they are helpful but also very small lol

phil is fixing the lmantree now!

every time the tree is visible the entire chat just becomes “o7” lol

a dono went “just burned down an orphanage” and phil going “technoblade?”

TECHNOBAN/TECHNOBELT

TECHNOBLADE BANNED LITTLEECHNOBLADE BC THEY SAID THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE TECHNOBLADE IN THE STREAM

“and it’s gonna be me kid, banned.”

LMANTREE LIVES ON ANOTHER DAY

what does lettuce juice taste like?

phil called us “absolutely feral” like,, what did he expect?

he’s taking screenshots of the tree for future times when he undoubtedly has to fix it again lmao

there’s a certain irony in phil going to get more wood right after fixing the tree

phil thinks that the rubber ducky looks like it has a black eye bc of the blush lmao

(cant unsee now)

Philza minecraft, the man who fixes creeper holes and also yeets an entire riverside bc he needed dirt

“Oh gosh I wonder what happened here” looks at obviously a bed bombing for debris

Minecraft fact of the day: Fire has an improved hitbox! so you can break fire from below now.

rip Quackity just joined and is sad

phil tries to reassure quackity he doesn’t need women

quackity: “you just want to see me die alone dont you”

meanwhile phil is trying to recover his debris from a tower of lava

and chat is having a lettuce cult, lead by momza

multiple ancient debris POG (literally three seperate chunks but theyre all like four blocks away from each other??? why does the game love him so much

ALSO POG THE MCC TEAMS WITH QUACKITY AND FUNDY AND PHIL AND WILBUR

aww momza came by to celebrate getting ancient debris AND BROUGHT HIM A PLATE OF LETTUCE AS A SNACK LMAOOOOOOOO

oh no he’s eating it with the echo mic on :(((

C R U N C H

MORE ANCIENT DEBRIS HOWTF

techno is punching air right now lol

it’s potato vs lettuce vs corn now, potato led by techno, lettuce by momza, and corn by someone in the sub chat?

momza really is just even more chaotic than chat is lmao

are lettuce puns just gonna be a thing now? also they’re all literally just “let us” it’s just one pun ):

also sand cult is back due to the lettuce thing

FOUR ANCIENT DEBRIS TOGETHER POG

LIKE TWO STREAMS AGO PHIL WAS POOR HES RICH NOW

ITS FIVE WHAT

*confused internal screaming*

“this one is gonna be useless anyway” *attempts to craft the bed upside down* AND STILL FINDS A PIECE OF DEBRIS HOW

also phil apparently also once after a night of drinking just,,, took out a head of lettuce and ate it

(bc brain went hungry+thirsty, let’s fix both!)

also his entire family was sat next to him and it took them like, 20mins to realise he was eating a head of lettuce

S P L A S H (at request of phil lol)

...there’s just an xray mine? someone needed content lol

TUBBO RAID POG

people are just telling lettuce/cabbage stories now

honestly one of the funniest thing about the dream smp is phil stumbling upon other people’s mines, bc 10/10

Reasons why fast food sucks in the uk/europe: There are laws to stop companies from selling food that will kill us

(and that exact stuff tastes REALLY GOOD)

whoop lore time fundy needs to talk

eret didn’t show up when he was supposed to

SALLY WAS AN ACCOUNTANT?

fundy angst go brrrr

also phil is still bed bombing in the background lol

*insert sidemen joke here*

fundys first interaction with vikkstar was vikk pushing him off a bridge rip

phil will step in, seeing as eret seems incapable and values sleep over fundys life lmao

fundy asked if phil had a spare bed and phil just started crafting one lmaooooo

aww fundy is moving in with phil!

FUNDY WANTS TO GO FISHING

FISHING STREAM POG

KARL HURT LMANTREE???

LAMO TUBBO JOINED THE VC LITERALLY AS FUNDY STARTED WATERBOARDING THE VILLAGER

*que “now he can’t breathe”*

lmao phil took the water from fundy’s water buckets bc he wouldn’t sto pwaterboarding jeff

tubbo is now voicing jeff as fundy continues to waterboard him (and it’s honest both hilarious and horrifying)

“fundy, have you been stood up for adoption?”

oof wilbur just came on

phil is now telling fundy what happened at the button

TUBBO JUST MADE A CILLIT BANG JOKE “BOOM AND THE DIRT IS GONE”

oof ghostbur is literally haunting them as phil told fundy how his father got killed by him

“i feel like i’m failing to read the room here a little bit” oh really tubbo

phil and fundy: going on an emotional fishing trip

ghostbur and tubbo: haunting and getting them dmca’d

TUBBO ATTEMPTED TO FIND A NON COPYRIGHTED GHOST BUSTERS THEME AND ACCIDENTALLY PLAYED BABY SHARK

FUNDY JUST CAUGHT A SALMON

“now both your parents are dead” tubbo no

Also fishing tutorial starting around 2:50:00 lol

Ghostbur really is attempting to fix things with fundy huh

WILBUR JUST IMPLIED HE WAS GETTING HORNY FROM FUNDY HOLDING A SALMON LMAOOO

Phil had to mute himself he completely lost it lmaooo

b o o

fundy ran away :( (ghostbur called him “my little champion”)

FUNDY IS CANONICALLY ONLY FOURTEEN WHAT

“phil you like severs dont you” “not really no”

“well I am swimming in shit all the time. join me”

fundy’s back! and trying to have a serious talk

phil is just there lmao

him side-eyeing lmaooo

tubbo joined just to whisper “this is like watch a tv show” lol

Ghostbur really just went “i gotta go talk to tubbo now”, went invis and ran away huh

phil just in f5 staring into the camera lol

tubbo is trying to make it fun again and fundy is just,,, frozen and traumatised

“lemme just get the president out of the hole”

SOMEONE IN CHAT REALLY WENT “TUBBO IS DYSLECTIC NO WONDER HE CANT READ THE ROOM”

Phil is just such a dad huh “focus on yourself”

B O N K

DADBO

Tubbo thinks he owns fundy now and is attempting to (re)name him why

and just put him in a minecart and pushed him off the platform as part of an adoption ritual?

AND PUT HIM IN A CHAIR AND BONKED HIM IN THE HEAD AND LOGGED OFF

“well that was weird. that’s the president i guess”

(i give it a month max before l’manberg is destroyed again)

“it’s reverb” that means it’s funny”

Tubbo is doing the dudududuuu theme he’s got going during this whole thing

annnnd now we’re back to the dream song lol

SPEEDRUN

They’re just clowning dream now lol

buy yeezys

(lanusky’s stream last night was fun lmao)

okay tubbo

it’s the new tubbo moment lololol

rip tubbo’s twitter replies

they’re gonna start the filling with water part now!

tubbo went to the dentist

TUBBO STILL HAS FOUR BABY TEETH WHAT

ALSO 420SUBS AGAIN WILL WE GET BLEND W WELL SEE

“did you keep the receipt?” tubbo at phil about the teeth that were taken out

it frustrates me how well tubbo actually sings wow

YES TUBBO PHILS INTRO THEME FOR STREAMS IS SUCH A BOP

every time tubbo plays the dream song phil speeds up lo

and tubbo is attempting (threatening?) to adopt fundy again

ADOPTION SPEEDRUN

I FLOODED THE DREAM SMP (NOT CLICKBAIT???)

TUBBO OUR HERO YES LETS GO

SNOOP DOOOOOOGGG

have we done the deed

dream smp starbucks name suggestions: tubbucks/l’starbucks/l’manbucks

ohh end of the stream bc tubbo wants to record something? (the hint phil gave fundy was “AAAAAAAAA”

Double raid with fundy!!!

Ranboo raid!!!!!

tubbo is shaking with rage at that? apparently he thinks ranboo is evi lol

See y’all on monday again!

(momza says eat your lettuce!)

also rip ranboos stream, boy just got like 38k additional viewers to the 2k he had lmao

(both follower and sub goals made in like 5 mins)

check out ranboo if you have time! he’s fun and currently running for president of lmanberg 2021 lololol

[robinrunsfiction]

It’s A Love Story - Part 3

Part 2

"What the hell Frank," (YN) heard Ray shout from where she was sitting on the steps in front of the school, digging through her backpack. Her head snapped up as she looked between them, trying to figure out what was happening.

"What did I do?" He asked defensively.

"Tucker just told me he delivered a pizza to you on Friday night, and he saw girls shoes and a purse by the door. You lied about being sick to go on a date?!"

(YN)'s eyes wide as panic ran through her. She hadn't seen Tucker, she was in the living room, so there couldn't have been any way he would have seen her. Ray would have said if he knew it was her, right? Tucker would have surely told her brothers.

"You got a girlfriend?!" Mikey asked, clearly surprised.

"Umm, yea, I do," Frank answered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gerard asked.

"Who is she?" Ray asked, not even giving him time to answer the last question.

"She doesn't go here," Frank lied.

"Is she cute?" (YN) finally piped up, a wicked smile on her face.

"She's gorgeous," Frank replied emphatically and (YN) grinned even wider.

"Are we gonna meet her sometime?" Gerard asked.

"I dunno, maybe, if she wants."

"What's her name?" Mikey asked.

Frank opened his mouth to answer and (YN) was genuinely curious to see how he was going to respond when the bell rang, signaling that they had five minutes to get to their homerooms.

"I'll tell ya later," Frank replied as they all made their way into the school.

(YN) hung back and Frank slowed down so he could walk with her. "Saved by the bell," she smirked.

"Who knew Tucker was fuckin Sherlock Holmes," he muttered and (YN) laughed.

“What name were you gonna give them?”

“Yours,” he smirked.

“Stop it,” she said, smacking his arm and he laughed.

“I’ll see ya in algebra,” he said before heading down the hall. (YN) watched him go and sighed. One day they’d all know she was the girl at Frank’s house. One day she’d be able to kiss him before they parted ways. One day couldn’t come soon enough.

~

A few weeks passed, and (YN) was still living for the thrill of being with Frank. There were small moments like (YN) coming out to the garage to watch the band, or rather Frank, practice, to them spending more time doing homework together, to Frank taking her hand as they sat next to each other during the weekly movie night, even though her brothers were right there. Then there were the more exciting moments, like when she found Frank between the shelves, deep in the library.

“Hey,” she whispered, making him jump.

“Shit, oh hey (YN)," he grinned. "What are you doing here?”

“I'm in study hall, but I came to get some books for my research project for history. I saw Mikey up front and he said your English class was in here so," she shrugged, leaning against the shelf.

"You thought you'd come find me in the stacks?" He smirked.

"I thought I'd come find my books for my research project. Come on Frank, what did you think was gonna happen?" She replied with a smirk of her own.

Frank glanced over his shoulder, before grabbing her waist and kissing her hard. (YN)'s mind began to spin, partially because of how amazing the kiss was, but also because her brother was also in the library. Hell, anyone could wander over and find them making out. It'd take all of a minute for the entire school to find out. And (YN) loved it.

She ran her hands through his hair, as they made out against the historical fiction books until they heard footsteps and they pulled apart and both turned their attention to the books. Whoever it was, kept walking, not even slowing down to do more than glance their way.

“Close one,” Frank whispered.

“Mmhmm,” she agreed, stealing a look out of the corner of her eye.

“Kinda awesome.”

“Oh yea,” she giggled.

That afternoon at lunch, (YN) was at her usual spot with the guys, minus Mikey. Ray and Gerard had been practically bouncing out of their seats, clearly having news to share.

“Where is Mikey?” Ray asked, looking around anxiously.

“I dunno, but I’ll fill him in later,” Gerard said. “Let’s just tell ‘em!”

“There’s a battle of the bands coming up and we’re signed up!” Ray announced.

Frank, Bob, and (YN) all exchanged a look of surprise.

“Wait, when is it?” Frank asked.

“Next month!” Gerard grinned.

Bob put his head in his hands. “We have so much more practicing to do.”

“I think we got a real shot!” Ray explained. “And when we win, we get prize money and  real studio time to record an album!”

“We’ll be taking off in no time!” Gerard nodded.

“Can I help?” (YN) asked. 

Before anyone could answer, Mikey walked into the cafeteria with a cute blonde girl. 

"See ya there Mikey," the blonde waved before going off to join her friends and Mikey had a smug smile on his face.

"About time!" Ray said.

“What was all that about?” Gerard asked.

"Me and Kristin are going to the fall formal together."

“Oh nice,” Gerard replied.

(YN) almost choked on her sandwich. "Wait, what?! That's not fair! I wanted to go to fall formal!"

"Who's stopping you?" Mikey replied.

"You and Gee! When you two, the least intimidating nerds at this school, somehow convinced the entire male population to stay away from me!"

She could feel people were starting to look at her as her voice raised with every word but she didn't care. She was angry and sick of how she'd been treated.

"Just go with Christine and Marie," she heard Gerard say, and she began to see red.

"I don’t want to because they have dates and I don't want to be a third wheel!" She snapped. "The double standards in this family are such BULLSHIT!"

"Miss Way!" Mrs. Simon barked. “The office, now!”

(YN) felt her cheeks burning red and her shoulders slumped in defeat as almost everyone in the cafeteria started laughing at her while she was marched down to the office by the teacher. She sighed in frustration at yet another way her brothers were ruining everything for her.

~

A few hours later the school day was over and (YN) reported to detention.

"Is this your first time in detention?" The teacher, Mr. Rodriguez, asked as she slid into the desk and she nodded. "Ok. The rules are there is no talking, you may do your homework, read, or sit silently."

(YN) wondered who she would even talk to since the room was empty. She pulled a folder out of her backpack and was about to get started on her homework when someone else walked into the room.

"Mr. Iero, please take a seat, you know the rules," she heard the teacher say. She looked up to see Frank coming to sit down at the desk next to hers.

"Hey," he whispered.

She grinned and then turned her attention back to her homework. They both worked silently until the teacher announced he would be right back.

"He's gonna be gone at least 10 minutes," Frank said once the door was closed.

"How do you know?"

"He's taking a smoke break."

"Oh, right. Well what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let my girl go through her first detention alone," he smiled.

(YN) covered her face, partially because she was blushing, and partially because she was embarrassed to be in detention in the first place. "What did you do to be here anyway?"

"I threw a ball at Mikey's head during gym."

(YN) could hardly stifle her laughter. "Oh my god, were you playing dodgeball?"

"No, soccer."

(YN) burst out laughing, thankful Mr. Rodriguez was not in the room. "Thanks for that."

"He deserved it," Frank nodded.

"I agree,” she grinned.

When they walked out of the school almost an hour later, (YN)'s mom was sitting in her car waiting to pick her up. "Ugh, I can't wait to get grounded."

"Maybe it won't be that bad?" Frank said sympathetically as they walked down the steps.

"Hello Frankie, did you wait for (YN)?" Her mom called out the open car window.

"No, I had detention too," he shrugged.

"Oh," her mom seemed taken aback. "Well would you like a ride home?"

"Please," (YN) whispered, hoping to delay the trouble she was certain to get into.

"Sure, thanks!" He nodded, getting in the backseat.

"That Mrs. Simon said this wasn't your first outburst this year, (YN)," her mom said as they started to head home.

"Yea, I know."

"That's not like you," her mom replied, more concerned than angry.

"I know," she muttered, head against the window.

"No one asked me, but I think Gerard and Mikey should back off," Frank piped up from the backseat.

"What do you mean Frankie?"

"Don't worry about it," (YN) mumbled.

"They're too protective of her. I know she's a girl, and the youngest, even if it's just by a few minutes, but they don't need to treat her like every single guy is a predator," he explained.

"Did something happen?" Her mom asked, now very concerned.

"No, some guy in Gee’s class was talking to me at that pool party this summer and Gee freaked out. It doesn't matter, the social damage is done. I don't even care anymore."

"Do you want me to talk to them?"

"No, I don't wanna make it worse. Just let me handle it," (YN) answered.

The rest of the drive was silent until they arrived at Frank's house. "See you tomorrow," he said, reaching forward to rub (YN)'s arm sympathetically before getting out.

"He's a good boy," her mom said as they started back toward their house and (YN) hummed in quiet agreement. "And that necklace he bought you for your birthday is lovely."

(YN) didn't even realize she was playing with it until her mom drew her attention to it. "Yea," she agreed.

"If you ask me, I think he likes you, I've always thought that."

(YN) blushed. "Don't tell anyone, but I know he does."

"Because you like him too?" Her mom asked. (YN) nodded as they pulled into the driveway. "I'll keep it our little secret."

"So am I in trouble for getting detention?"

Her mom laughed lightly. "No, but don't let it happen again. If you want to yell at your brothers, wait until you're home."

"Will do," she nodded, a relieved smile crossing her face.

(YN) didn’t say anything to either of her brothers that night at dinner, eating quickly before running back up to her room. It still wasn’t fair that she got in trouble, or that Mikey could date whoever he wanted to and she couldn’t. She curled up in bed with her sketch book, and tried to let her frustrations come out through her pencil.

"Hey," she heard Mikey say from her doorway after a while.

"Go away," she muttered, not even looking up until something landed at the foot of the bed. It was her favorite candy bar.

"Sorry for being an ass," he said.

"Whatever," she said, grabbing the candy, but still not even looking his way.

"Did you hear what Frank did?"

"Gave you what you deserve," she replied.

"I guess you could say that, but we’re just looking out for you."

She glared at him. "I'm not that fragile Mikey! I can handle myself, now go away!"

“Sorry,” he muttered as he retreated back to his room next door.

(YN) got up and slammed her door and settled back onto her bed when there was another knock. 

“Oh my god, leave me alone!” (YN) shouted, but the door opened anyway.

“Can we talk?” Gerard asked, peaking in.

“No! Go away!” She said getting up to push the door shut, but Gerard was stronger than her.

“I’m sorry! I was thinking about how you said you wanna help with the band, and I was wondering if you’d design our logo for us, and maybe like some shirts or something?”

(YN) stopped pushing on the door. “Wait, really?”

“Yea, like when we win this thing, we’re gonna need some merch to sell to help get our name out there, and posters for gigs, stuff like that,” Gerard shrugged.

“Yea, I guess I could try,” she nodded.

“And I know Mikey tried to apologize, but didn’t do a good job of it. We just didn’t want a guy like Adam to get a chance to do anything, because then people would start talking and-”

“Hang on,” (YN) cut him off. “This isn’t the Regency era, I don’t need my older brothers telling me who I can and cannot spend time with, out of fear that I’ll disgrace the family!”

“That’s not it! I just… I just feel like it’s my duty to protect you. You and Mikey both, but it’s different with you because you’re a girl and I’ve seen the way the guys look at you and I can imagine what they’re thinking and it’s gross and it makes me mad.”

(YN) sighed. "I just wish that if you felt like making a decision in my best interest, you’d actually ask me what I want first."

"Sorry," Gerard mumbled.

"Doesn't do much good now, but whatever," she shrugged.

Gerard stepped back from the door, and she shut it behind him. It didn't really matter, she had Frank, but it was the principle of the matter that still left her steaming.

Part 4

[rottenroyalebooks]

The Prank That Ended the War - MGG

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler X Fem!Reader

Requested: No, this came to me one night at 1am and I can't stop thinking about it.

Warnings: None

Summary: You and Matthew are co-stars in Criminal Minds and you play Spencer's love interest SSA Ellie Lauren. The two of you have been great friends since you started on the show and have been in an ongoing prank war. His last prank was filling your car with rubber ducks and you decided to end the prank war with one he couldn't possibly top; You were going to trick him into marrying you. The Fic takes place during an interview after the fact.

A/N: If you guys like this and want me to write a version of this while the prank is going on please let me know! I will not complain in the least.

~~~

"Our next guest has recently been in the media for an over-the-top prank she pulled while filming the hit Criminal Drama show Criminal Minds. Here to talk all about it is the beautiful and fascinating Y/N L/N!" Drew's interduction brought me to the stage as the crowd cheered. I waved to the audience as I sat down in the seat across from Drew.

"Hello Drew!" I said with a giggle in my voice as I crossed my ankles.

"Hello Y/N. Thank you so much for being here. Let's cut to the chase here, recently a video of a very anticipated scene being filmed on your show was leaked onto YouTube of your character Ellie Lauren marrying Matthew Gray Gubler's character Dr. Spencer Reid; except it was a take of you guys getting married that ended with you celebrating the fact that you pulled off a prank on Gubler. For those who have not seen or heard about this viral video and rumors, would you like to explain what happened?" Drew was smirking and I nodded.

"I would love to explain. It's a long story so buckle up. When I first started on Criminal Minds I was extremely nervous, like I could barely remember my lines kind of nervous and Matthew noticed, so he decided to make me feel more comfortable by pulling a prank on me." I started to explain, moving my hair out of my face, "The prank was something small, he put my cellphone into jello, so I decided to prank him back with a simple whoopee cushion under his seat whilst filming. That was the beginning of the prank war." I smiled at the memory, remembering the red that flooded his cheeks when the cast and crew couldn't contain their laughter.

"For five years the pranks just kept escalating and our friendship grew stronger. I dyed the tips of his hair blue while he was asleep once. Asleep!" I said and Drew laughed.

"So what was the prank that made you do this?"

"He filled my car with Rubber ducks and I was running out of ideas. After years of back and forth pranking each other you'd be bound to use every prank in the book so I was trying to come up with the prank that would finally end the war while I was reading the script for Ellie and Spencer's wedding scene when it hit me," I paused as I let the audience think about the prank, "What if I tricked Matthew into marrying me in real life?"

The audience cheered and I nodded my head, "I know! At first I thought it was crazy, how could I pull this off? I wanted to see if I could get away with it. So I started planning,"

"How long was the planning process?" Drew interrupted and I sighed in an exasperated way.

"Oh goodness Drew, I only had a week to plan this prank! A week! I basically planned a wedding in a week, well technically the wedding part was planned out by the show I just needed to think of the technicalities; like how am I going to get him to sign the marriage licenses?" I shrugged my shoulders for effect.

"You see, Matthew tends to do this thing where he doesn't fully read documents before signing them. He doesn't really read them at all, but if I was the one who gave him the things he needed to sign in order for the marriage to be real he would become suspicious; so I asked Shemar Moore, who plays Derek Morgan on the show to help me."

"Did you fill him in on the plan?"

"Of course I did, Drew, he told me I was crazy but agreed to do it because he wanted to see the reaction. I was anxious as hell when he disappeared into Matthew's trailer and I paced through mine the whole time. He returned quickly with the biggest smile on his face and I knew that the hardest part of the prank was over. I sobbed," That earned a large laugh from the audience, "No it's true! I was so relieved that I started to full on sob in my trailer. I knew i needed to see this to the end. It had to be done. I did all the boring stuff with the papers and then came another tough spot."

"Who's going to be the one to officiate the wedding?" Drew was very invested in the story.

"Exactly! In the show, Spencer and Ellie begged David Rossi to officiate their wedding so he was going to be the one during the scene. I went to Joe and filled him in on my crazy plot. I then asked him if he would get ordained for this prank; I told him I would pay for anything he needed and I would owe him for life, but he agreed because he wanted to see if I would get caught. Soon I realized I had to fill in some other people on the prank when the time came for filming so I told the director, some of the crew, and the main cast. It was crazy and Matthew was totally completely unaware of this prank." I shook my head, I still can't believe that I managed to pull this off.

"Of course, I was friendly with his mother so I got the OK to invite her to be an extra in the scene so she could witness her son getting married. She told me I was a genius and would make sure she wouldn't get caught by him so I flew her out. It was fantastic." I laughed at myself.

"When the day came I was scared that he was going to be so mad that he would end the friendship, but I thought the plan was genius that I was willing to risk it. Everything was ready since the wedding was planned, there were rings, I had the dress and hair and makeup done, and I was so excited. I had told my parents about what I was doing and my dad actually plays Ellie's father in the show so he would be walking me down the aisle. He wasn't so pleased to learn that I was actually getting married for real."

Drew burst out laughing. "Should we play the video that was leaked?" He asked and i nodded.

"Be my guest." I said turning to the screen.

The scene started at the middle of the scene where we were saying the vows as Spencer and Ellie. It was clear that I was nervous and everyone was slightly panicky. I had just finished saying Ellie's vows and Joe began to speak, purposefully messing up the lines to reveal the prank to Matthew.

"It's with my greatest pleasure to announce the newlywed couple by the state of California; Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Gray Gubler! You may now kiss the bride!"

It didn't seem to register in his head as he pulled me in for the kiss, but then the director called "Cut!" And I almost passed out at the fact that I had somehow managed to actually pull this off. It wasn't until he stopped the kiss when Joe's lack of acting finally clicked into his head.

"Ha, ha. Very funny Joe." He said, but everyone of the main cast; AJ, Shemar, Thomas, Paget, Kristin, Joe, and I all burst out laughing out of shock.

"What!?! Why are you all laughing?" He was laughing too out of awkwardness.

"I actually did it holy shit! Okay, Matthew you're going to hate me, but I just pulled the most epic prank on you." I was still laughing, barely able to get the words out.

He was confused, "What?"

Shemar pulled the copies of the marriage license out of his pocket and handed it to him, "Read it and wheep."

Matthew opened the copies and his mouth dropped open, "Certificate of marriage!?! How did you get me to sign this!?!" He was shocked as it started to click in his head.

I finally had calmed down a bit by now, "You really need to start reading things people give to you to sign." I explained with a snort and he gaped at me.

"Wait, so we're legally married? Joe are you actually ordained?" He asked, shock filled his face as he nodded his head.

"Oh my god." His face turned bright red and he laughed, then he noticed his mother and almost passed out at that.

I turned to the camera, "May this be known as the day Y/N L/N won the prank war and now has full on bragging rights as I am now the legal wife of Matthew Gray Gubler. I can now die happy as my life is complete."

The video ended and the audience cheered loudly. I stood up, bowing down at the applause, "Thank you! Thank you, it really was some of my best work." I joked sitting back down.

Drew was clapping as well, "So what I got out of this was that you wanted the bragging rights?"

I nodded, "Oh but of course, at first it was just 'Hey, what if I tried?' But soon I became so invested in this prank that failure was not an option. I put so much effort into this that I could not fail." I laughed, "Besides, I get to say that I married him. Not many people would be able to say that." I joked and he chuckled.

"So, are you two planning on getting the marriage annulled?" He asked and i chuckled.

"We tried, the next day the two of us went to the courthouse to get a judge to agree, but apparently because of the way I did it we have to wait four months to get it annulled. I didn't think about that part." I admitted.

"Was he angry? About the prank?"

"Shockingly, no. He was very impressed that I managed to pull something this crazy off; hell I was impressed with myself. He even admitted that there wasn't anything he could do to top this prank and thus the prank war had ended. He's a bit annoyed that we have to wait to get it annulled, but not with me." I explained and he nodded.

"I have officially peaked in life, nothing will ever top that moment." I say pointing to the screen.

"You are quite the genius Miss. L/N. Do you have anything to add?" He asked and I hummed, looking at the camera that was on.

"Do not do that with your friends. Don't trick someone into marrying you as a prank, it's a pain in the ass to get undone and it could hurt some feelings. Matthew and I have been friends for years and set rules for the prank war, this prank was purely for shits and giggles. Don't do something that drastic with your friends." The audience clapped at my speech, "Don't prabk someone with a relationship period, it could really hurt someone's feelings and bring insecurities to light."

"I just have one more question for you, what if you and Matthew were to get into a relationship during these four months. Would you annull the marriage still or stay married?"

The blush on my face came as a shock to myself, would I want a relationship with Matthew?

"Honestly, Drew, Matt is such a great guy. He's funny, smart, attractive; I wouldn't be surprised if I fell in love with him. Who knows, all the romantic scenes might get to me," I joke, but the audience cooed, "If that were to happen, I'm not sure what his thoughts would be so I can't speak for him, but I would probably get the marriage annulled because if I were to marry him I wouldn't want the wedding to be a Spencer and Ellie wedding; I would want a Matthew and Y/N wedding which is a completely different experience."

"Oh I bet it would be. Thank you for being here tonight."

I smiled, "Thank you for having me! I love talking about the prank."

"Y/N L/N everyone!"

***

A/N: Part 2?

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 12: The Return

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The gang returns to New York with a well-earned victory under their belts. But that means Nadya has to face Kamilah, and she isn't quite sure she knows how to feel just yet.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Nadya leans on the rail with a wistful sigh. Takes a moment and just… lets herself enjoy the peace of being at peace. No memories haunting her behind her eyelids, no immediate danger… at least none she can see right in front of her.

No, the only thing in front of her is New Orleans. The French Quarter spread out for blocks around her in vibrant colors going pale against the purpling sky. It’ll be dawn soon.

Did she sigh already? Well… no harm in another one.

Taylor’s learned his lesson in sneaking up on her. Why else would he knock on the door leading up to the roof instead of taking advantage of one final attempt to startle her silly?

He clicks his tongue with a wry look. “Careful now, that sigh right there, that’s trouble. Means you’re falling in love with this place and you won’t ever wanna leave.”

Nadya can’t help it that she laughs.

“Are you trying to sound like Garrus?” It sounds like something the fae would say, actually.

“No, and frankly you don’t want to hear my Garrus impersonation,” he hesitates; waits for Nadya’s little go-ahead of a nod before joining her overlooking the city as it begins to put itself to sleep, “it’s not very good. My Ivy on the other hand…”

Their laughter is soft and polite. They wouldn’t dare jostle the world below.

“I mean, when I went off to college I had dreams of road trips on spring break, summers spent with one program or another. New Orleans was always on my list.”

“And did she live up to the hype?”

Now how exactly is Nadya supposed to answer that honestly? “Well college-aged me probably wouldn’t have been hanging around the Graveyard Shift, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Nadya, babe, you have got to stop being a hard mood,” Taylor places a hand to his chest, “my little empath heart just can’t take much more of it.”

She shoves him (gently) and their laugh is a little less awkward the second time around. Probably because he is, indeed, an empath. And he gets exactly what she’s feeling right now.

Longing — exhaustion — trepidation — to name a few.

He nudges her shoulder with his own. “You’ll have to come back when everything’s fixed on your end; see the city for real, you know? Not just all the bad things.”

Not like she goes searching for the bad things, thanks. They just kind of… happen dangerously close in her proximity. “I’d like that. Lil’ too, for sure.”

“Oh, for sure. Though I have a feeling her and Ivy together might be a bit more trouble than Nik’ll want to deal with.”

And on that Nadya can most certainly agree. Not that she does so with words. Strangely she doesn’t feel much like talking right now. Not-so-strangely, Taylor doesn’t either. So they lean in mutual silence and watch the streets below. People going through the motions; living their lives.

Lives far less strange than theirs.

The blue of the dawn is just starting to bleed orange when he finally speaks again.

“You’re not used to winning the day, are you?” She isn’t surprised in the least to look and see that strange iridescence back in his irises.

“I don’t have enough coffee in me to answer a question like that,” which — that’s her answer; but Taylor definitely isn’t taking it, “I mean… back when all this stuff started; we won then, I think. Adrian was exonerated and Jax joined the Council and Vega wasn’t trying to kill me anymore —”

Taylor holds up a finger. “Wait — like the missing Senator, that Vega?”

“You knew him?”

“Uh, Vee and our friend Kristin lived up there together. Wait a second—he was a vam— no… that’s not the point. Sorry, please continue.”

God, is that how I look to other people, Nadya wonders; but it’s humbling to see somehow.

“Anyway… I thought everything turned out for the better, and for a while it was better. But now that I think about it…” Gaius, Jameson, the Trinity; all of them lurking just on the other side of the two-way glass. Waiting for the time to strike and take her happiness away; to pluck memories from her she never asked for all in pursuit of some epic fantasy-level world conquering.

If the fight wasn’t over, did that still count as a victory?

“And you’re left wondering if this is the same deal. If you’ve really won, or if there’s more stuff—worse stuff—just out of sight.” Taylor finishes for her. Still a little weird and possibly more akin to mind-reading than the half-fae originally led her to believe, but for the moment she’s glad to not have to say it.

“Yeah, exactly.”

His hand comes to rest over Nadya’s on the railing. He’s warmer than he should be and the sun’s got nothing to do with it. Likely his weirdness is helped by touch, too. Which Taylor all but confirms aloud when a sudden but not unwelcome ease relaxes the tension she didn’t know she’d gathered in her shoulders.

“I can’t offer any answers, and I don’t think I’d want to. With my luck I’d be wrong and you’d hate me forever.” He’s joking but Nadya still rolls her eyes and shakes her head for it.

“But I can say that no matter what happens? You’ll always have friends here to call up if needed.”

What is she supposed to say to something so sincere? “Same to you, Taylor, same to you.”

A sleek black car with tinted windows pulls around the corner and onto their lonely street to park right in front of the bar.

Looks like their ride is here.

Kamilah isn’t waiting for them when the plane pulls into the nice and shady hangar. Nadya tells herself she isn’t surprised by this… but she’s trying not to tell herself mostly-truths lately either. Luckily she’s still too exhausted (and she’s pretty sure she only got about half an hour’s nap in the entire time they were in New Orleans) to make much of a fuss about it.

In fact, Nadya barely remembers sending a text off before she and Lily both are being ushered into the back seat of one of Adrian’s company cars.

[TEXT]: back in NY and miss you like crazy. can we plz talk?? [TEXT]: its nadia

And its the most dreamless, dead-to-the-world-est sleep she knew she needed but didn’t know how to get. Staying awake for near-days and going through every emotion under the sun and also dealing with a high-stakes pursuit weren’t exactly on her list of viable solutions to her sleeping troubles.

Ergo the point of all this — no one is allowed to think her anything less than totally justified when Nadya wakes up in her own bed, in her own bedroom, sometime well after sunset and thinks for even the smallest second that everything was just a dream. She knows logically that it wasn’t… but still.

Totally justified.

When her eyes adjust to the lack of light Nadya realizes she’s not alone. There’s a figure sitting on the edge of her bed nearest the window, away from the door. Giving her the chance to escape if she needs it; making sure she doesn’t feel trapped.

Only one person would do that.

She fumbles for her glasses on the nightstand but leaves her bedside lamp untouched. Can’t shake the feeling like if she does turn the lights on then Kamilah will vanish. This is better for them both.

“Hi.”

Something moves near her head; Nadya leans back to see the woman pulling her fingertips away from where they had been combing through her hair gently. She wants it back so much she aches from the loss of them.

“Hello,” replies Kamilah; sounding awfully breathless for a woman who doesn’t need to breathe, “did you rest well? You… seemed to need it.”

Probably not what she meant to ask judging by the way the neon signs from across the street illuminate her in postmodern beauty. It’s okay though — Nadya isn’t sure she has the courage yet to say what really needs saying.

“When did you get here…?”

“Shortly after your return. Oh, Lily wished for you to know she’s left for the evening. She didn’t leave a message as to why.”

So it’s just been Nadya and Kamilah in the apartment for at least the daylight hours. Alone; together. And not talking about their problems.

When Nadya sits up (in part to look at Kamilah better, in part to make sure she doesn’t fall back asleep on accident) the bed dips as Kamilah shifts back; makes to stand and leave her with all this twin-sized budget bed kit to herself. And because she can’t stand a thought so terrible Nadya reaches out and stops her with a hand on her arm.

“Kamilah.”

A long pause — then; “Yes, Nadya?”

“Why are you here?”

“You messaged me,” so Nadya of course fumbles for her phone and finds it charging under her pillow, “though I suppose I should have realized you were exhausted beyond recognition.”

“Why’s that?”

“You spelled your own name wrong.”

Upon further inspection yes, yes she did. “Glad you weren’t expecting some other disaster you’re dating also named Nadia…” That she chooses not to dwell on the fact that she may have very well used that word for the first time in the middle of their first fight is actually self-care.

Or — she doesn’t until Kamilah’s been quiet for an awfully long time.

“Uhm — I take that back, actually — what I meant was…”

“I won’t disagree.”

Only Kamilah Sayeed could look so perfect framed in the flickering lights of a discount electronics shop.

“But you’re my disaster.”

Nadya kisses her because every other time it’s been Kamilah who takes the lead, takes charge, takes her. This isn’t some attempt to switch that dynamic either (in fact Nadya’s very happy with it just the way it is) but what else is she supposed to do seeing all these vulnerable parts of such an invulnerable woman one right after the other?

But — no, she can’t fall into this. Fall into her. Not without talking. But holy mother of crap she doesn’t wanna do anything but moan at the lips soft on her cheeks, her chin, her throat…

“Kamilah.”

Nadya only has to say her name once. They both know how this works. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the hesitance; the resistance before they part and she all but forces them to meet eye-to-eye. Nor does it mean that she doesn’t take just the tiniest bit of happiness from it.

When Nadya starts pulling away Kamilah holds on just a little bit tighter. Only for a moment; then its gone.

“We can’t not —” — talk about this.

“I know; I agree.”

And she’s got a whole speech planned out in bullet points; not even fully seated and she’s already buzzing to jump right into it. Until—

“I was uncertain and without control. I fell back on old habits to bring my life to a heel — but those were the wrong choices to make. They nearly cost me… something very important.”

Kamilah’s hand falls open on top of the bedspread and Nadya takes it for the offering it is. Their fingers slot together familiar and like nothing’s changed but this is different. This is talking about it; this is… this is Kamilah apologizing. “They nearly cost me you, Nadya.”

Now is not the time to go all red in the face and flustered. Nadya’s willpower is astounding frankly. “There was never a second where I doubted that you cared. Not about what I was going through, or what it was doing to… to everything in my life. But I think there was a part of me that didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to believe that you and… and the you I saw were —” — were the same person.

Kamilah’s thumb strokes along her knuckles slow and rhythmic. “My thoughts are the same. I am not fragments of a woman; a queen, different than a soldier, different than a killer, different than who I am today. I am all of those things and more. And perhaps still there are parts of myself I have not yet come to know.”

Nadya chances a look up while she listens, but it’s the words Kamilah doesn’t say that catch her by surprise. The ones about who that person she doesn’t know could be. And—god she hopes she’s not reading too much into this—who she could be that person with.

“I think I get it now.”

“And what would that be?”

She squeezes their hands until it hurts because she knows it’s probably the weight of a feather to someone like Kamilah.

“We were scared of the same thing and for the same reasons; you… and your past. But I wanted to know more. I—I wanted to talk about it, without thinking of how hard bringing up all of those bad memories might be for you.”

Kamilah purses her lips and offers a slow nod. “Insightful; and perhaps I was so insistent on trying to keep that knowledge from you that I did not stop to consider what… I was saying in withholding it.”

Now the question is… where do they go from here?

“So we work on that — we try and… understand what the other is doing when she…”

“Makes a mistake she instantly regrets?”

Nadya smiles, but it’s strained. “That’s half of the things I do anyway though.”

“You know my meaning in the context of this, Nadya.”

“Yeah, but that’s not my only problem.” Which isn’t the best word she could use but at the moment she’s not focusing so much on word choice as actual feelings. And Nadya… feels a problem. There’s a breath of a second where it feels like Kamilah might start to pull away, but it passes.

She thinks better of it. She tries to understand.

“You are amazing, Kamilah. You are this… super gorgeous, super smart, super old—in a good way I swear—and super experienced vampire. But it’s not a smart thing for us to—to ignore that.”

“I wasn’t under the impression we had been.”

This is more painful to admit than Nadya thought it was gonna be. There’s no turning back now though; no ‘Restart from Checkpoint’ or save to load.

And this is so so important. Nadya wants to follow through, and not just for the sake of them. She deserves it for herself. “Maybe you haven’t — but I have. I thought that was the only way we were gonna make this work. Only, if I ignore that then I’m ignoring the fact that you are always going to have a power over me. A physical one. You lashed out and…”

“And I could have hurt you.” That Kamilah’s hand tightens with hers is the literal definition of ironic but she knows it comes from a good place; the same place all that honesty was walled up inside now pouring out.

“Nadya, please tell me you know I would never have hurt you. I don’t think I could.”

“That’s not the point. The point is you were angry, and your first reaction was to try and scare me into running away.”

See, this is Nadya’s problem. There’s a reason her life is so organized — without all her colored pens and sticky notes and multiple tabs that always end up in the strangest places, she’s a literal human mess. Prone to rambling and impulsive actions that aren’t always good for her health; physical and emotional both.

She didn’t organize this part of her talk with Kamilah. She didn’t even know this part existed. And now it’s out there in the world without a label tacked on and… and…

“And I don’t think that’s something I’m quite… over, yet.”

Nadya trusts Kamilah still; she doesn’t flinch away when the woman’s free hand comes up to her cheek — thumbs away a tear she didn’t know was falling. She can separate the then from the now.

But at the end of the day her trust and the way she had felt betrayed that night… they weren’t mutually exclusive.

She turns her face into the lingering palm. When she exhales her breath rattles in her lungs.

“I miss you.”

Kamilah’s hand betrays her composed silence; the barest tremor. “I’m here, Nadya.”

Nadya who doesn’t want to pull back, never wanted to pull back… but what is she saying to herself if she doesn’t?

“I miss you,” she repeats, “and I still care about you — I don’t really see that changing any time soon. And I’ll forgive you, really—I will. I just need some time.”

I know there are no promises you’ll be there when I’m ready, or if you won’t have moved on, or if you can’t forgive me for not forgiving you, or for not understanding you, or for making you feel this way. But I feel this way too.

And in all the things she wants to say but doesn’t, Nadya’s left still and heartbroken. Completely by her own design.

The bed dips and Nadya lets her eyes flutter closed as Kamilah’s lips press to her forehead. Not so much a kiss as a touch; something sincere and solid and so so sad.

Kamilah commits the warmth and life of her to memory. Nadya dares to hope that some day they’ll have all of this again.

She has to. If anything deserves hope right now it’s them.

Finally — too soon, too damned soon — a whisper tickles at her hairline.

“I’ll be here.”

When she opens her eyes Nadya is alone.

Jax has a really good point; if the heat from Adrian’s industrial-grade blowtorch hadn’t been enough to melt the gold, then they probably didn’t need to worry about his sword scratching the stupid thing up in any way that didn’t lend to opening it.

Everyone still backs up a few paces for good measure. They’ve all seen him in action — and the man needs a wide berth.

Nadya closes her eyes and braces herself but she still isn’t prepared for the hollow screeching clang every time the sharpened steel collides with the surface of the Amulet. One—two—three.

He stops after three. Judging by the enraged determination in his eye though he’d keep going given the opportunity.

Lily throws her hands up before crossing out ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’ on the transparent eraser board. “I’m calling it. This thing is a horcrux.”

“A what?” asks Adrian, but Nadya just gives him the now familiar “I’ll explain it later” wave-off. Because unless pop culture references were the secret puzzle to opening the Amulet of Nero they weren’t that important in the moment.

She pushes her glasses up and unsuccessfully stifles a yawn with the back of her hand. Brings her focus back to their list of attempts to crack open (literally) the case… all of which have failed miserably.

‘METALWORKING HAMMER’ ‘REGULAR HAMMER’ ‘BLOWTORCH’ ‘ASKING IT NICELY’ (Nadya’s idea) ‘OPEN SESAME’ (Maricruz’s idea) ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’

Off to the left Lily’s circled ‘MISSING KEY??’ over and over in the corner and while they had all agreed to try and hold out on just not having found the right amount of physical force they might as well face it.

They’re running out of options.

Adrian clears his throat and stares hard enough at Nadya that the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Ahem, Nadya, could you…?”

“Oh — yes — sorry guys, my bad.”

When she pulls the cover back over the Amulet the difference is immediate. The tension leaves her friends’ shoulders; they sit a little less restless and their eyes are a little less bordering-vampish.

Nadya wasn’t the only one who had been content to write off the strange aura that had come over the vampires in Isadora de la Rosa’s booth as nothing more than trepidation for the inevitable. Now, however, they have to face the facts.

There’s something in the Amulet that draws vampires to it. Cadence had said so himself — when he talked about generations of vampire influence. It’s not enough to incite a war (about which Nadya was admittedly worried, and with good reason given their track record) but covering it was a noticeable benefit to rational thinking.

They only have one thing going for them right now; if they can’t open it then no one else can, either. Hopefully that includes the Trinity. Maybe it even includes Gaius. Who knows? They certainly don’t.

There are too many unknowns — and they’re starting to take a toll on everyone in one form or another.

Adrian begins to gather up the dozens of data graphs spread out in front of him. “With that, I think we’ve come to a natural stopping point for the evening.” And nobody disagrees.

While Nadya carefully wraps the Amulet back up to return it to the R&D vault, Lily leans on her elbows and watches.

“I take it we still haven’t heard from Cadence? What about calling up Izzy?”

If only she had good news to give. “Nope; and I already did. She definitely remembers feeling that weird magnetism to it before it was repossessed by Persephone but nothing beyond that that she knew of. Actually,” she throws a look over to Adrian, “she suggested one thing; witch-fire? Something like that.”

He seems hesitant to mull the idea over. But they were desperate enough to let Jax hit it repeatedly, so…

“I’ll look into a few contacts. That kind of magic should only be used sparingly and in dire cases.”

“Would this count?”

A beat. “Probably. We would have to run it by the Council, though.” Which kind of nulls even the idea. Since everyone had agreed not to tell the rest of the Council yet. Not only because of the Amulet’s potential.

Lester, Priya, the Baron — Nadya likes to try and see the best in people as much as possible but they don’t make it easy on her. None of them are certain who would, if it came down to it, side against Gaius for a second time.

Nothing is unlikely anymore.

Wow, their shortest-lived idea yet.

Nadya nods towards the vault for Lily to follow. “As for the other thing — Kathy’s starting to get worried. I guess he left town a day after we did.” Which the Nighthunter had admitted wasn’t off-brand for Cadence. But the museum had let slip (which Nadya knows means ‘been bullied into admitting’) that he had been granted a leave of absence; very off-brand.

“The one thing he’s always had is that damn museum. No identity, no Izzy, and we both know I’m a recent development. He was a manic mess the first time that kind of dissociation happened.” The Nighthunter had kept her cool better than Nadya would have in her situation. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried ill.

“What if it’s worse this time,” even through the phone she couldn’t hide her concern; her fear, “what if he hurts himself? What if he hurts someone else?”

Hopefully they find him soon. But she’s met that strange group of people; the regulars at the Graveyard Shift. If anyone has the ability (and sheer force of stubborn will, to be honest) to find Cadence it’s them.

“I mean, if I went Jekyll and Hyde around a chick as crazy as that Trinity woman, I’d probably want to get away for my own health too.”

Lily’s comment doesn’t sit well with her; luckily at her admonishing look she at least looks apologetic. “You know what I mean.”

“I also know a little bit of what he’s going through.”

There’s an “ahem” behind them as Nadya spins the wheel on the vault. Adrian definitely has the look of someone who knows he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping but was anyway.

“Speaking of.”

Only… she’d rather not speak of it until it becomes a problem. “It’s fine,” she replies, and waves it off. That was what they’d agreed on for the time being, right? And there haven’t been any problems.

Turns out feeling the weight of relationship-burdened depression the moment you walk through your front door lends to a pretty heavy sleeping pattern. Like Nadya’s body doesn’t want her to do anything but try to get through the next day, and the next, and maybe… just maybe the one after that.

Adrian doesn’t seem immediately convinced. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise.” Which — he still doesn’t really get the concept but the verbal agreement is enough.

Once the lab is fully shut down they manage to pile together into the elevator. Jax thumbs at his phone, blows the hair out of his eyes just a little too close to Nadya’s ear for her liking. She swats him away because personal bubble.

“What’s the matter?”

“Eh, Espinoza wants —” But he catches himself with a look in Lily’s direction. “— something. She wants something. And I gotta… go get it.”

Nadya and Adrian just shake their heads and laugh at him while Lily pretends with absolutely no tact whatsoever not to know what he’s talking about. She even sticks her fingers in her ears like that’ll somehow stop her super vampire hearing.

Jax, somehow with even less tact, like negative tact, takes it as permission to lean and murmur on Nadya’s free side. “Apparently Lula got into the cake. So…”

“Weren’t there three?” Adrian hisses, surprised.

“You’ll get it when you meet her.”

Nadya reaches around and pats Jax’s chest awkwardly. “Good luck with that. Maybe try putting them in the passenger seat this time.”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying… third time’s the charm you know.”

When she gives Lily a nod in ‘all clear’ everyone knows she heard everything. But she’s just excited to know Maricruz is going as all-out as she possibly can, so who would be so heartless as to spoil the whole thing by just admitting the obvious?

Adrian lets them all off on the ground level and offers Nadya one last chance to go home early. “What do you pay her for if you keep giving her chances to not work?” And Jax raises a good point — too good of a point. She maybe shoves him in front of her with all her might, and he maybe stumbles. The world may never know. “Just saying — let me know next time there’s an opening.”

“I’ll be up in a sec. I just have to stake him first.”

She and Lily wave until the doors close. Yes, they live together and see each other every day. Yes, they recently defied death in New Orleans together. But its rare now that Nadya and Lily get a chance to unwind like they used to. So whenever it comes along they’re both there to indulge greedy and giggling.

“Mari’s really going all out with this party, huh?”

It’s a valiant effort but Lily doesn’t look so much humbly embarrassed as expectantly excited. “I think I’m in love, Nadi’,” she jumps the next few steps like hopscotch, “she was fully ready to get a bouncy castle.”

“How are they going to fit a bouncy castle in the Shadow Den?”

“Oh I didn’t say I let her. But she was planning on it, and isn’t that what true love is all about?”

Nadya tries not to falter. Key word being tries. And around anyone else she might do everything in her power not to draw attention to it but this is Lily. Who found her huddled up in bed hours after Kamilah’s farewell and called to cancel her own date to stay with her; to be there for her and give her all the hugs she desperately needed but didn’t know how to ask for.

She doesn’t need to pretend around that kind of love and friendship.

But before Nadya can apologize Lily starts up an air drum solo in front of her while they walk. “And winner for Most Insensitive Best Friend Ever is — drum roll…”

“You’re fine, Lil’.”

“I’m gushing about my life while you’re… not so hot.”

Nope, Nadya won’t have it. “You’re gonna gush because you have every right to gush, okay? You’ve been a vampire for a whole year. That’s super important. You survived Turning, became the digital fanged crusader, and it’s ten times more cool because you did it all without a brand. Jax and Adrian can’t say that. Heck… even Kamilah can’t.

“So if you want a Turning party, you’re gonna get a Turning party. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re worth celebrating.” They lace their fingers and Nadya squeezes. “Plus if Jax shows up with the third set of cakes to a canceled party I think he might flip his lid.”

Lily gives a dramatic little sniffle — pretends to wipe a nonexistent tear from her eye. “Please tell me you just memorized all that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll be the speech to end all speeches.”

Together they play-shove all the way through the Raines Building atrium. Right before the revolving door Lily spins her around, takes both of their hands together and swings them gently.

“Do you want me to uninvite her? She probably doesn’t even care.”

“No — and even if we broke up, like, badly I wouldn’t want that. I’m just not that kind of person.”

“True, you’d probably invite them to Christmas dinner or something.”

She rolls her eyes at that and ignores it for her own sanity. “And for the record — as someone with experience in decoding Kamilah-isms, I think you surprised her. She admires strength, and Lily… you’re the strongest person I know.”

When they hug, like always, their glasses get jostled in the middle and the following laughter lightens both of their hearts. Lily makes her promise to add that last line to her speech (which inadvertently is a promise to write a speech, she’s guessing) and only when she’s out the doors and around the corner of the block does Nadya head back up to the office.

Adrian is leaning in his open doorway when she exits the elevator — Nadya slows her steps for a hesitant second before coming to realize he’s just having another one of his pensive moods. He’s been having them a lot lately. More and more since they returned from New Orleans.

This one looks different though. He’s not staring into space — he’s staring at her.

“What?” She finally yields, glancing at her boss over her shoulder while the computer boots up slow as a snail. “What’s that face for?”

Nadya nearly convinces herself he isn’t going to answer.

“It’s good to see you smiling, that’s all.” He leans out and squeezes her shoulder; something soft and friendly and so sweet her teeth ache from it. Before Adrian can pull away Nadya makes sure to return the gesture.

“It’s good to smile,” which is far more bleak than she would like, “you know something?”

Adrian pauses mid-step. “Hm?”

“It’s even better to mean it.”

[evengayerpanic]

Beyond the Hollows [Week 1]

Read Another Part: [One]    [Two]    [Three]    [Four]

_________________

The end of the world came about so subtly that unless you were watching out for it specifically, you probably missed all of the signs until it was too late.

Sarah Anne Murphy, better known as Sae, was one of the one’s who was unlucky (or lucky) enough to be blindsided by the chaos that was about to engulf her. 

As she hurtled down the highway going 100kms an hour, her car screaming 90′s hit songs almost as loudly as the excited chatter from her 1994 Honda Civic’s three other passengers, there was only one thing that actually occupied her mind.

How she was going to come out to her older sister Katherine with as few victims as was possible.

One victim was inevitable, Lukas Keizerfjord.

He was a sweet boy, only three years older than Sae herself. He had a decent job in construction (which was what Katherine’s fiancee Curtis also did), appeared to be clean-cut, and had been nothing but respectful since they had picked him up in Hamilton on their way to the resort they booked in Niagara.

Sae knew what her sister and her sister’s fiancee were thinking... he was perfect for her. Maybe he was?

But he wasn’t Kristin Reynolds from her Gender Studies course; who had kissed her in her dorm room while they had been studying for their final assignment, who had held her hand when nobody was looking, and who was waiting back in Toronto to spend two weeks alone with her figuring out what they were before she started Teacher’s College.

This trip with the four of them was supposed to celebrate Sae’s graduation from Queen’s University, the young blonde woman just hoped they’d still be celebrating once she shook up the picturesque double-date that Katherine had set up for them.

The what if’s roared through her head as their journey came to a close, her GPS signaling that they were less than twenty minutes away from the resort.

It overwhelmed Sae; more than the news reports of a strange illness spreading city to city, more than the stress of her last year of university, and more than her unconventional childhood experiences.

Katherine had been her only constant growing up, and the very thought that her big sister might be disappointed in her for who she was, tore Sae up.

“Sae...” A voice came from beside her, so quiet that Sae’s busy thoughts drowned it out. “Sae.” The voice repeated, once again to deaf ears. “Sarah Anne!”

As the last call of her name came out more as a shout, Sae jumped in her seat, the car swerving slightly before the young blonde was berating her sister. “Kate, what the hell! I almost crashed the car!”

“You missed the exit.”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll take the next one.”

Katherine narrowed her eyes at her sister for a second. “What’s wrong, you look upset.” At the silence, the brunette leaned over and nudged her sister’s shoulder as she drove. “You don’t need to be nervous, I’m sure he’s going to really like you.”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about.” Sae mumbled under her breath, her eyes trained on the road ahead of her as she followed her newly recalculated GPS.

“What was that?” Kate feigned confusion as her gaze lingered on her little sister for just a little too long.

“I asked what the plan was for tonight?” Sae recovered quickly, throwing Kate off. “After we get to the hotel, I mean, where are we going tonight?” 

“Oh! Dinner at Copa Cabana, then the Casino!”

The conversation between the two sisters died down as Sae turned off onto the next exit, the resort popping into view, and the mood in the car changed.

The rest of the drive was full of excitement; the two men in the back chattered away about the games they were going to play at the casino, and the attractions in town they wanted to visit, Katherine ranted about all the stores she wanted to check out, and Sae... Even Sae couldn’t escape the excitement over getting to take pictures of the Falls up close.

_________________

The excitement was indescribable. Whether it was the look of the main street as they passed it to the resort; a cacophony of screams coming from the arcades, casinos and funhouses that littered Clifton Hill, or perhaps the beautiful views of the water as they passed through the more residential side of Niagara... there was a magic in the air that took away all of Sae’s self doubt and anxiety.

The resort, if possible, looked even more amazing than the views that they had passing it, and as Sae parked the car, she felt the light and airy feeling of vacation wash over her in a rush.

It was vacation, her graduation vacation.

Tones of blue, and accents of silver flooded the quartet as they brought their belongings from the car to the bustling front desk. Sae let her eyes wander as Katherine took over checking in to the resort, like the older and in charge sister that Sae knew and loved.

If there was anything wrong going on in the world, then this resort was far from it; a huge fence closed them off from the outside world, and the televisions littering the main foyer, had all been switched to some sort of aquarium channel, anything to further solidify the feeling of being in paradise.

“We have three hours until our reservation, what do you say we get ready as the boys check out the resort?” Katherine would tease once they got up to their rooms, and for a little while, Sae would feel normal about the whole adventure.

The girls took turns helping each other with their hair, practically wrestling to straighten Sae’s natural blonde waves, and add a bit of crimping to Kate’s naturally pin-straight auburn locks. Make-up was done together as well, Katherine taking on her duties as the older and more feminine of the two, and carefully giving Sae a smokey eye look that rivalled her own.

“We’ve got to impress Lukas, right?” Kate smirked, bringing Sae’s mood down from the vacation-glazed excitement she had been in since arriving.

“Actually...” Sae whispered, as she helped Kate finish gluing on her lashes. “I wanted to talk to you about-”

A loud bang on their door cut the blonde off quickly, and made both girls jump. “Must be the boys.” As confident as Kate was about that, Sae didn’t share the same idea as her sister moved to the door.

“Are you sure? It’s kind of early for them to be back.”

“Who else would it be, silly?” Popping open the door, the two girls shared a moment of confusion when there was nobody there, only to jump as a door down the hall slammed and a shriek was heard behind it.

“A bit early to be playing around like that, but hey, maybe someone is on their honeymoon.” Kate raised an eyebrow playfully, even as Sae’s eyes narrowed in worry as she scanned the empty hall.

“I don’t think that sounded playful at all.”

“Don’t be naïve, besides we should go see if the boys are back, it’s almost time for our reservation.” Kate chastised her, turning back to grab her purse and fixing Sae with a look that meant no nonsense.

The uneasy feeling didn’t shake off of Sae, even as she grabbed her own cross-body bag and followed after Katherine closely, her eyes not leaving the door that had slammed shut and her ears not ignoring the sudden silence that came from that suite.

_________________

“Something’s up, Kate, they won’t let us leave the resort.” Curtis’ words rang in Sae’s ears as her and her sister found the boys among the crowd that had gathered haphazardly in the lobby. 

A feeling of dread was palpable, especially as Sae looked around the crowd to see the worried faces of both staff and guests alike as they looked around, trying to find some answer of what was going on.

Her gaze lingered for a moment on a little girl, no more than eight years old, being held by her Father, the child’s arms wrapped tightly around the man’s neck, a look of terror and confusion on her face.

She tried to smile but all that came out was a grimace, especially as she heard Lukas cut Curtis off with something even more terrifying. “There was these two brothers behind us maybe 200 yards back, only teenagers, they weren’t allowed back in. The resort locked the gates soon as me and Curt got in.”

“Why wouldn’t they let a couple kids in?” Sae wondered out loud, before a loud voice came from the front of the room, effectively quieting over half of the murmuring from the crowded room.

“Everyone!” The voice boomed, Sae strained her neck to look overtop of the crowd at the man (she recognized him from check in) that it came from. “We understand you are scared and confused right now!”

“What’s going on?!” Came a yell from behind Sae.

“Why did you lock the gates, my wife is still out there shopping!” A voice sounded to the right.

“Please! We need everyone to stay calm!” This time a shrill voice came from one of the waitresses of the resorts restaurant. “Let Thomas explain!”

The murmuring of the crowd died down again, the man stepping on top of the check-in desk so that he could be seen by everyone in the crowd.

“It appears that there is a riot going on downtown.” Sae glanced around, stepping closer to Kate and taking her hand tightly, noting as several others seemed to be getting closer to their loved ones too.

“We don’t believe that we are in any danger, but there are reports of people fighting, and-”

He was cut off by another staff member, a parking valet. “There’s even been reports of a few deaths.”

A gasp ran over the crowd.

“We understand you are afraid, but it is our job to keep you guests safe.” 

“I recommend everyone return to your rooms, lock the doors and wait for more instructions.”

At the sound of a scream from the rear exit, Sae turned to see a man climbing over the gate, and her heart thudded into her chest as he dropped down and immediately began stalking towards a young woman who was busy on the payphone.

“Kate... I think we need to go.” Sae tugged at her sisters arm, noting that both Kate and Lukas seemed to be staring in the opposite direction.

As she turned her head to see what they were looking at, a scream popped out of her mouth as another man leapt onto the reception desk and tackled the manager to the ground with an animalistic shriek.

Curtis, seeing this as well, leapt to action, grabbing a chair and breaking the leg off of it, brandishing it in front of him before shoving Kate and Sae towards the staircase. “Get to our room, now!” He yelled as the screams began to erupt around them as people started to catch onto the chaos.

_________________

The next few moments seemed to take forever as the terror set in and people all began to try to get away from the carnage that was happening at the reception desk.

Sae found herself fixated, staring as the man who had knocked the manager to the ground, began to dig into his chest with his fingers, tearing chunks of flesh away from the poor man as he shrieked at the top of his lungs in pain.

It was a mix of confusion and horror that held it’s grip on Sae before her soon to be brother-in-laws hands shoved her into action, breaking her glance and snapping her into focus.

“Run!” He screamed again, right in her ear as she began to take the stairs by two, her sister almost half a flight ahead of her, screaming for Sae to hurry up.

The group ascended the stairs quickly, few other guests following their actions as they all rushed to their rooms, to some preconcieved notion of safety that would await them as long as they could get behind a pair of locked doors.

The chaos was ringing in Sae’s ears, screams coming from the left and right of her as more and more guests were both attacked, and caught on to the attacks happening to the people around them.

As they cleared the first flight of stairs, the small group broke off from the pack of resort guests just in time to start sprinting down the hall to their room. The boys were in lead, trying to clear the way, their keys out to get the door open when Sae ran past her sister, frozen and staring at an open door.

“Kate!” The blonde screamed, skidding to a stop and turning back to her sister. “Come on!”

“That’s the room.” Kate yelled back, her voice weak and small. “The scream from earlier, it was her. Look, she’s hurt, Sae, she needs help.”

“What are you talking about?” Her voice is scared and hoarse, and it’s only when the silence sets in that Sae realizes the screaming she heard earlier was her.

Thats when she sees her.

In the doorway across from Kate, the room that they had heard screaming from what seems like forever ago, a woman stands in the doorway and shakes.

“She’s hurt Sae, I can help her, I’m a nurse.” Kate demands, and Sae freezes like ice when she sees the blood dripping from the girls finger tips.

“I don’t think we can help her Kate, we need to go.”

The boys have already reached the room, and are fumbling with the door key, they haven’t noticed that the girls have stopped running... not yet.

“I’m a nurse, I have to help...” Kate says, her voice is fierce and determined and yet Sae can sense just the slightest hint of fear.

“We need to get to safety.” Sae tries to talk her down, tries to talk her sister over the guilt she has that what she thought was a playful sexy scream earlier was anything but playful or sexy.

Kate takes a step forward, hand out to the trembling woman. “Come with us, we’ll help you, I’m a nurse.” 

Sae sees the expression on the woman’s face change just a second too late before she’s grabbing onto Kate’s hand with full force, pulling the brunette closer and sinks her teeth into Kate’s shoulder. 

The sister’s let out a scream in unison, Kate’s in pain, Sae’s in horror as the woman tears a chunk from Kate’s shoulder and begins chewing on it desperately.

“Kate! Kate!” She screams, the boys finally noticing and running back towards the girls in defense.

Lukas runs at the girl who attacked Kate, and Curtis begins to use the chair leg like a bat to beat the woman away from his fiancee and her sister as Kate crumples to the ground and Sae rushes towards her.

“Kate... Kate, please talk to me, please!” Sae begs, cradling her sister’s head in her lap and trying to stop the bleeding of her shoulder by pushing her hands against the wound, blood seeping between her fingers and staining her hands and dress a bright red.

Life flashes before Sae’s eyes; her and Katherine as children, holding hands and sobbing as their Father is put into the ground, the moment that their Mother brought home her first boyfriend, coming home from elementary school to find her sister nursing some fresh bruises from that very same boyfriend, and finally, promising each other that they’ll always be there for each other, no matter what happens.

It’s those words that she repeats to herself as she desperately tries to stop the bleeding. “I’m right here Kate, I’m right here!” Sae cries as she can feel her sister shuddering underneath her, her wound pulses with every fleeting heartbeat that Kate has.

“Come on Katie, you’re okay...” Sae begs as she feels the stillness of her sister begin to settle in. Tears mix with blood as Sae drops her head over Kate’s and begins to sob, taking in loud gasps of air as her cries quickly become frantic and hysterical.

“Get away from her.” A voice warns from behind Sae, but she’s stuck watching as the life drains from her sister. “I mean it, you need to get away now!”

A gasp leaves Sae as rough hands pull her backwards, moments later that gasp is turning to a shriek as the young woman notices Katherine’s eyes are beginning to open again, only instead of the warm brown honey that Sae is used to, she meets a milky white.

“Kate?” She screams, a snarl leaves her sisters mouth as the brunette gains momentum, leaping from her place on the ground towards Sae. “Stop!”

A pair of rough and calloused hands shove at Kate, knocking her back to the ground, giving Sae a moment to look beside her and see the man from earlier who was holding his young daughter, standing in the doorway of a room directly behind them.

Sae can see the young girl just inside the room, screaming for her Daddy, but only briefly before another shout focuses her attention in front of her.

“No!” Comes the desperate scream from Curtis, his heart stopping as he sees Katherine, or what’s quickly become of her. Her focus doesn’t change from Sae.

“Move, now!” The man beside her yells, simultaneously as Kate once again lunges at Sae, stopped by his bare hands as he manages to grab her arm and keep her from reaching the young woman.

The next few moments feel like they go by in slow motion, stumbling away from her sister and the man, Sae watches as Curtis and Lukas both run forward.

While it looks as if Lukas is going to run for Sae, and Curtis for Kate, fate takes a strange turn and the two boys go for the opposite sister; Lukas runs full force at Katherine and the man, his lips screaming out a hoarse “Get away from her!” as he tackles Kate away from where she’s trying to pull towards Sae.

Curtis on the other hand slams full force into Sae, knocking her backwards into the open room. For a moment she tries to scream and fight against him that they need to go save Kate, but Curtis doesn’t listen past yelling at her to get inside to safety.

As the man is broken free from Kate’s hold by the flailing and fighting Lukas, he also manages to enter the room, turning to face the frenzied Lukas with a quick demand to “Hurry up and get inside!”

With Sae momentarily stunned, Curtis turns his head to watch as Kate grabs a hold of Lukas, and in a last minute decision, Curtis slams the door closed and throws a wardrobe in front of it.

There’s a second of shocked silence before hell breaks loose in a flurry of screamed threats and desperation.

“What are you doing, your friend is still out there?!” The man demands in a roar of confusion.

“We need to go back out there, Curtis!” Sae is shrieking in endless desperation, held back by her would-be brother-in-law as she tries to fight to the door. “We have to get Kate and Lukas!”

“She’s dead!” Curtis finally growls, managing to fight Sae onto one of the hotel beds in the room. 

She stills in fear, her eyes wide and red with tears.

“Kate’s dead, Sarah... Lukas is too. Unless you want to be responsible for getting the rest of us killed, including that man’s daughter, you’re going to shut the fuck up and just accept that your sister is dead.”

The room falls into silence as Sae turns away from Curtis, putting her face against the pillow and attempts to drown out the rest of her crying.

[percysbluepizza]

Oh we ARE impertinent

okay since @annabetncnase asked for it, my big ole post, UNEDITED about the Lightning Thief Musical on Broadway. good luck to anyone who attempts to read this shit

ACT 1

Prologue/Day I Got Expelled

Alright so there is big boom lightning at the very very beginning of the show because Of Course there is? But it also comes with a huge flash of light, which startled liTERALLY everyone in the audience. Very fun, good use of technical effects. First guy on is James Hayden (Luke + Some) and he opens with the line. Then KRISTEN FUCKING STOKES (whom I have grown to ADORE) and the rest of the ensemble (Sally, Claiese, and Grover) come on and have this AMAZING choreography. They’re singing and all and then these curtains (which have been up and are on my pic) get pulled away from both sides by the whole onstage cast and CHRIS runs up and does this slide thingy to the very tippy top of the stage, where he sat for a moment, then turned to the audience and started. I about screamed and I’m not joking, he’s so expressive and such a great Percy (god I’m in love with him great work). As the song progressed, I was impressed by the ability with lighting use and all these cool stage tricks to have the Mrs. Dodds and also the pen/sword thing! Jorrel plays Grover so well, he’s so empathetic and caring toward Percy and I!!! So the whole story of him getting expelled is explained and god it is so fucking sad. Percy’s voice cracks. Percy’s fucking upset clearly and doesn’t understand and ouch…. ‘So if you think you are a half-blood’ is said so gently, and then THE DANCING. Chris can dance. Like well. Very well. So during ‘THis ain’t Odyssey’s Odyssey” he did a big ole kick and danced his heart out. SO good.

Strong

So obviously there’s some talking in between the first piece and this one, and there was a scene change when the lights went out and now they’re in Percy’s apartment with his mom and Gabe. Gabe is like… god you seem him and you loathe him bc he’s played so well. Percy sprays a chan of ‘aerosol’ at one point bc Gabe smells. And Chris just captures Percy’s compassion so well… He tells his mom that she doesn’t have to stay with Gabe and doesn’t deserve that and ugh so good. There are genuine blue marshmallows. and the way they did the little fire with the fog in the bucket and Percy’s mom’s comforting him hhh.

The Minotaur/The Weirdest Dream

The transfer to this scene/piece is very quick, Grover comes running in with a trash can over his head and he asks if Percy told Sally about the field trip and she said no and it was just a big mess of miscommunication. He basically gets to the point where he says the Minotaur is after Percy and holy shit. This boy is massive. And the design of it is insane and it’s got red eyes and wow. ‘I hope you’re really a SWORD” and he fight and it’s all just great. Sally goes away, Percy kills the beast and then ‘Don’t pass out…” Poseidon is in a tank top and a open Hawaiian shirt as well as flip flops and just “oh look, a man in a Hawaiian shirt’ He takes the seashell and is just the most confused. And then they bring in Annabeth, pushing her on one of those dolly things and she’s ‘floating’ and the whole thing is a big dream. Up until she tells him “You drool when you sleep” right and the thing is… the banner for CHB unfurls and the lights come back up and all of that and just it’s a true rude awakening. Then he looked around the camp and was so confused, Annabeth (beautiful, amazing, badass Kristin) started explaining what was happening and he had no clue. She then calls for Mr. D  

Another Terrible Day

I don’t think you guys realize how good Jorrel is. Maybe you do but we stan Jorrel. But he comes out dressed in not matching clothes with a bright button up (pink) and plaid shirt, suspenders. He’s angry. Percy explains that he has no clue what’s going and everything’s getting explained to him with the other demigods. The other demigods are so cute and I love them so much. And he’s yelling through a megaphone. Jorrel can do so many roles so well and he did a great job. “You’re a horse?!” also he just clops. Like it’s human legs. Clip clop bitch. With a tail.

Their Sign

Again the transition from the first song to this second one is really fast. Chiron’s comforting but god is Percy angry. I love that tbh. Chris is clearly upset and he feels for Percy. And he shows it. He’s upset and then Percy’s voice goes all soft… Love that. Luke starts being buddy-buddy and showing him that it’s gonna be alright. Supposedly.

Put You In Your Place

Fucking. Sarah. Goddamn. I can’t believe how good she is. We stan so hard. Her fit? Great. Her voice? Belted. Awesome. Annabeth truly out here though. SHe’s intimidating as fuck and she knows what she’s about. There’s so much cool battle choreo in this scene and it just looks great. There’s blocking and stabbing and it looks awesome. Also that guitar riff that she comes in with is rad. And then the bathroom thing. Great. Percy’s cornered and it clearly shows that his powers came as a last resort with stress and the way they flashed the blue lights is just great I love that so fucking much. And they’re asking about the way he figured out those powers and they’re freaked out. Cool shit. Also “The plan would have worked either way.” Holy fucking shit. Annabeth is fucking scary as hell. She gives zero fucks about Percy at the beginning

The Campfire Song

The way they made the campfire is so cool! Very techy. And I didn’t realize they’re sitting around the campfire eating dinner together as a camp. Very family much love I’m a big fan. They’re putting the food into the fire and then complaining and I love it. Percy’s so sweet trying to talk about his mom and then come back around once they tell him what’s going on. Also they have a cute dance they do together. SO unified and lovely. And then THE FUCKING SIGN COMES. Percy’s sign. The whole thing. They’re looking and he’s like “Is that a fork?” “I’m the Son of Poseidon? sweet!) Everyone freaks out when they’re sure he’s a son of Poseidon. Percy is told to go see the “Mummy in the attic” “That’s old people talk for Mom, right?” Cue the Oracle.

The Oracle

This sounds so dumb but kinda like… found the Oracle impressive. Spooky. 10/10 Also… side note… Chris plays Percy with a lot of random mannerisms and movement and it’s really quite fun to watch. Anyway the Oracle is big spooky and she’s in a huge dress and she’s pointing to him and it has all the people who are in the next scene sitting there underneath and moving the dress. Big cool. And the vocals! Sis can sing. And it’s just beautiful bc then Percy has to see Mr. D and Chiron, the first of whom wants to turn Percy into a dolphin. “Percy you have no choice.” “You’re expelling me again?” Basically Percy is getting kicked out of camp bc of his unwillingness to do the quest. And there’s the transition to Good Kid my friends.

Good Kid

Guys oh fuck. Oh shit. Chris just really came out here to kill with the vocals tonight. And My heart? He kinda does a fist thing toward what would be the Big House and walks off to sulk, starting the song and walking around being angry ugh. He climbs up the back of the stage (which is essentially scaffolding) and sits at the end to deliver the sad part of the line when everything goes piano-y and soft and essentially that’s him sitting at the docks at the lake and watching the water. Luke later finds him (“If you’re a son of Poseidon, don’t hide at the lake, that’s where everyone will look.” and talks to him about the quest, where they figure out his mom would be in the Underworld if she was anywhere. Also there’s a trident where Percy is the middle prong and the other two are blue and shine on him UGH yeah

Killer Quest

“Yeah I’ll do it!” Was delivered so well, so sweet and innocent. This kid just misses his mom. Also since when did Luke and Percy get a bro handshake? Grover shows up with a bunch of bags and says he’ll go too (Luke’s chilling in the background) and he gives him the official questing backpack. I think Luke leaves at this point to get some shoes. Annabeth is there with a bag telling him that she’s going too and that her mom will be excited and they’re all dancing together and god I’m so emotional. They dance and they all work as a team so well great work you guys. And the lights turn out with them starting their quest!

Lost

Return from intermission with a literal bang, as there are three demon triplet math teachers on the bus, with Percy on top and Grover and Annabeth inside. The driver’s screaming, they’re screaming, Percy hops off the top and then fights the fury outside and eventually… The bus explodes, with confetti raining over the audience. Awesome. The piece of paper is in Annabeth’s bag pocket actually. And Percy’s trying to be a reassuring friend to Grover, who’s freaking out, and he’s trying to keep Annabeth safe too… ugh great stuff. They move all together when they say “We’re lost in the woods” for the first time. Their priorities really become clear later in the song when they talk about what they’re wanting. Grover could not be more enthusiastic about the squirrel. Also this is the first time we see Annabeth laugh at Percy “I think that’s kind of nuts” is the line and she turns around to laugh into her hand. PURE AS HELL. Wandering aimless through the forest occurs for a minute longer until Percy decides. This point in the musical made me realize that these kids are young. Like 11 or 12. I love that. I felt that in this one. The kids go into Auntie M’s art studio. Annabeth’s asked to take a picture and she’s checking her hair in her dagger, meanwhile Percy’s getting a bad feeling now and Grover’s looking more and more intently at Uncle Ferdinand. Percy is then asked to join in. No camera you say? MEDUSA REVEAL. They do a big battle and Grover ends up picking up Percy and swinging him around to cut off Medusa’s head. Which gets thrown in her own fridge for the time being. Grover leaves.

My Grand Plan

Bitch. This was the moment I teared up a lot. She sat down and started singing and I felt. I FELT. I’m depressed as fuck at the moment and I started feeling things bc of this damn song. Kristin Stokes I love you. Anyway, she’s singing and Percy intently watches, and she’s telling the gods to Wise Up by pointing directly to the sky. SHe’s saying BITCH YOU WILL NOTICE ME. And the pain in her voice when she explains her family situation. The soft part? She’s talking directly to Percy and looking at him, telling him what’s going on. Dear god did I feel. I’m so proud of her my queen Annabeth Chase. She finishes explaining and Percy says: “No more fighting” and she says “Not between us anyway” and they shake on it. I love that. Then Percy decides to have a little fun with the gods and boxes up Medusa’s head. “THey’ll think we’re impertinent Percy.” “Oh, we are impertinent.” He writes both Annabeth and his own name on that box and ships it via the Hermes express. Grover comes back in. “While you guys were in here not solving all our problems, I found these!” “Three Amtrack tickets!?”

Drive

We boarding the train. WE singing. Life is dandy again. Percy sticks his hand in a dog cage and it bites him. They take a tractor which is scaffolding tied to a wheelchair which a guy pulls. They meet Bianca and then they meet Ares after arguing with each other. Cool guy. Also Percy looks so free and proud of himself when he’s on the back of the motorcycle “I mean, look at where I am!” He’s so PROUD holy shit. Also they all put one foot forward during the different lines god the Choreography so fucking cute dear lord. Anyway they’re going and going and they meet Bianca who’s got braids and then they move on!!! I love them! I’m proud. They take another bus. “This time we just won’t blow it up.” They’re sitting on the bus (or train not really sure) and all asleep. Percy’s dreaming now. And Annabeth and Grover are also sleeping. Each is on a chair and it’s kind of cute tbh.

The Weirdest Dream (Reprise)

Percy’s standing there in his dream and he’s very confused. This is ‘scary” and I love that. He’s standing and listening to the these people in his dream talking. Kronos is so fucking scary they literally make him scary. His voice is so deep and spooky and fuck man. Luke’s talking to him (downward, into a pit, technically on the top of the scaffolding) and he’s in a cloak and Kronos says Percy’s name and the lights flash all sorts of colors and then he’s back in his seat. Chris does a bunch of spins until he gets back to his seat and Grover’s shaking him awake, saying he was screaming. Annabeth can’t sleep either. Everyone’s on edge. Thalia’s name was mentioned in the dream and Grover sits up straighter and says he hasn’t heard that name in awhile.

Tree on the Hill

Oh shit this was so emotional. So Grover explains that he didn’t tell Percy this any sooner because he was afraid Percy might not want him to come. Big sad. But he starts the song and let me tell you I never felt like crying more. So Grover’s narrating this story and Percy’s listening on the train and above them, like with the main bridge, Annabeth, Luke and Thalia are slow mo acting out the details of the story until Thalia becomes a tree. Thalia is the same girl that plays Clarriese, and every other character almost omg. But when he’s explaining her turning into a tree, Annabeth and Luke stand behind Thalia and become the branches. So symbolic and so beautiful. Percy comforts Grover and then it’s the last stop.

DOA

THis song. At first I didn’t like it on the soundtrack. Skipped it. But goddamn what a bop. The sparkly dress, the funky tunes, the control of all of the kids so they all dance together. Also dying in a really big bathtub. Yeah. Real. The way they did the elevator with the lights moving in the background was actually super convincing and I Loved that. The dress sparkles all over and all the other background people are in cloaks are dancing too, including James who makes this beautiful jump I love it so much. But they’re all scared and cornered against the light and then have to reconvene together. They all get up from the ground frazzled and then Percy’s shoes start doing something weird. His feet start flying away from him and he’s confused and freaking out and all of a sudden they’re in front of the pit. Oh god the pit was so cool. I thought the feet were shaking and it’s so cool and and the pit literally looks like a pit. I know they’re looking into a light but it’s so scary! The shoes go down into the pit and the tartar sauce joke is made. I love this. SO scary. AND BOLT REVEAL. The line that Percy’s says “betrayed by a friend’ that accuses Annabeth after she pulls the bolt from his bag. I gasped. And then Hades comes around and he’s in a sparkly jacket and says he’ll have his friends and his mom back if he gives him the bolt and then gives them a chance to decide. Everyone walks off stage and he stands there and debates.

Son of Poseidon

Percy’s mom comes out and tells him that what belongs to the sea can always return. She does a little loop around him and he spins in a circle and follows her for a moment. He starts singing and GOD CHRIS. He’s realizing that he has the shell and all that. He blows the conch and a blue light shines on the right side of the stage, the PORTAL. They jump through the portal and they’re all excited that they survived. Standing on the beach and Percy pulled new shoes out and starts putting them on. He tells them that they’re his two best friends and he hugs them close and fuck man the original trio feels. They summon Ares. Ares comes out and he’s fucking ripped and got a pipe. A literal pipe. They start fighting and it looks like they’re losing, Annabeth lost her dagger (which was strapped to her thigh goddamn) and Grover’s down, Percy’s lost his sword. “Percy get to the ocean” He runs to the stage, Kristin and Jorrel run backstage and deliver the blowers with TP. “How about a lot of it!”He yelled and theres the music and he’s relishing the moment, Chris is just giving it his fucking all and there’s a lot going on and I just.. Was amazed beautiful. Great work cast. Ares is washed away and then Percy says: “You can escort us, back to camp.” They’re escorted back.

Last Day of Summer

Percy is standing there and he’s stunned essentially. What does he do now? He gets a letter from his mom with her newest sculpture and that she’s going to school. Annabeth passes him and talks to him about going home and she calls him Seaweed Brain. He and Luke battle when he accuses Luke of being the lightning thief. Luke fucking says yes right and then STABS HIM after trying to convince Annabeth to pick the right side (his side) and she disarms him but he takes a knife and stabs Percy. He runs away, Percy’s on the ground, Annabeth’s at his side and holding him. She’s giving him emergency ambrosia as he’s dying and he looks like he’s gone but then he comes back. She says Seaweed Brain and he says Wise girl and hugs him to her and SHIT man.

Bring on the Monsters

Percy motivates the camp. Tells them it’s real, shits getting real and they need to get ready. He’s got his sword and his fresh stab wound and he motivates them to get going, all of them sing and then Chris does his beautiful solo thing and stands in front with his sword and they’re all singing in the background. When he maintains his line on the bottom people are passing back and forth around him and touching his shoulder as they pass him and he yells excitedly back next summer at one point. And they all stand together in the back and the spotlight hits him as he says he’ll be back next summer and the guitar ends. damn.

The curtains come up and they’re all there taking bows and I love them. Main points: these boys flexible, they’re all doing kicks and all sorts of shit like that, jumping up and down and dancing as well as singing, I’m very impressed. also Chris plays Percy so well. He’s got all the things that were in my head for Percy for all the quirks and ADHD and UGH I love that. Kristin rocked my fucking world and Jorrel played every character so cleanly and had such great vocals. I love them. I love them all. The end.

If you made it to the end of this fucking long ass post send me an ask or a message bc I’m proud of you and you deserve a reward 

[soft-baby-dobrik]

hi // david dobrik

a/n: YALL IM GUNNA PUNCH MYSELF HE’S SO FUCKING CUTE IM eMOTIONAL. but yaaahhh thank you all for the love and feedback of what i’ve been writing so far :’) it means so much.

summary: you and david live on opposite coasts and have been flirting and texting and facetiming for about two months and the vlog squad flies you out.

masterlist

requests are open

follow my instagram (david page) <3

Nothing that has happened in the last few months was planned. Not one single bit of it. It was definitely a hope, but never seemed realistic. Commenting on David’s photos was routine for you, and mostly, it was dumb things like “punch me in the face” or “why haven’t you married me yet.” When David liked your comment and then followed you, speechless was an understatement. And to make things even crazier, he dmed you, saying, “when are you free for that wedding.” That had you speechless and then unable to find a breath. You typed a reply and that was just the beginning of this online relationship. As time went on, David added you on snapchat and then gave his number. At the beginning, you would refresh your instagram over and over again in hopes of him replying quickly. Then, it turned into David facetiming you at random times, sometimes even 3 am for you, 12 am for him. It wasn’t exactly a secret, but it wasn’t broadcast either. So, when other members of the vlog squad began to follow you, you were honored and a little puzzled. 

Before you knew it, you were placed in a group dm with some of them. They messaged you and asked if you were David’s mystery girl. Unsure of what to say, you texted David and asked what was going on.

you: umm, you friends have me in a groupchat on instagram and asked if am the mystery girl? what do i say

Not even thirty seconds later, your phone dinged with a response.

david: how did they find out? i mean, you’re not a secret, so you can say yes before they start dming random other girls haha

With David’s permission, you typed back in the group message and said yes. Next thing you knew, your phone began to blow up. Kristin complimented you, saying you were beautiful and a couple other compliments were sent your way from Corinna and Zane. As you were texting back, another message popped up from Scotty, saying, “What would you say to us flying you out to meet David?” Shock was too less of a degree to be used to describe your reaction. Without any hesitation, you typed a response, asking if he was serious. Next thing you knew, you were giving your phone number and received a facetime call. It was Scotty and Kristin behind the phone number calling you.

“Hey!” Scotty smiled.

“Hi,” you greeted, waving.

“So you’re David’s mystery girl that has him giggling when on his phone and smiling like crazy?” Scotty questioned as Kristin awed.

“I hope so!” you smiled, feeling warmth rise to your cheeks at the affect you left on David.

“I mean he didn’t give us much information, but you’re one of the few people he follows that none of us knew, so we took a guess. Anyway,” Scotty paused to look over at Kristin. “We were thinking of surprising David by flying you out here to meet him.” Scotty’s attention turned back to you as began to panic slightly.

“I don’t know, honestly, texting and facetiming is a lot different than meeting in real life,” you nervously admitted.

“I know, but trust me, David is all googly eyed for you and is all happy and giggly now, so you have to come!” Kristin chimed in. This was crazy, but so was everything else that’s occurred these past couple months.

“I mean, this doesn’t happen everyday, so I guess,” you said, then continued, “I’d love to,” with more confidence. Scotty and Kristen both cheered and smiled.

“When could you?” Scotty asked as he paused you. “I’m looking up plane tickets now.”

“Where do you live?” Kristen asked as you could hear Scotty typing. You told them where you lived and were thinking on the best day to leave. Not only would you have to notify work, but would have to miss some classes, and tell your parents your crazy predicament. 

“Next week?” you said before changing your mind. “No, the further away it is, the harder it’ll be to keep from him, like maybe in two or three days?” you said more questioningly. 

“That sounds good. I’ll book your flight for Tuesday at eleven A.M.,” Scotty said before returning to the facetime screen.

“This is so crazy,” you whispered, shaking your head. “I can’t believe this is happening. Thank you.” 

“It’ll be good for David,” Scotty grinned. 

“He’s so busy, him flying there would be hard, so why not bring you to him?” Kristin said and then cheered because you were coming. 

“Thank you so much,” you thanked again.

“We’ll see you Tuesday at the airport!” Scotty said, before him and Kristin both waved you goodbye. After they hung up, your screen returned to your notifications to see David had texted you four times.

david: what are they saying?

david: please tell me they aren’t being idiots

david: babbbbbeeeeee

david: i wanna facetime

You couldn’t help but laugh at his texts. He was truly adorable. Then, it finally hit you. In less that 72 hours, you would be there, with David in person. Feeling giddy inside, you happily clicked the facetime button. David’s smiling face was put on your screen and you squealed in happiness.

“Hey!” you grinned.

“Hey, cutie, why are you so happy?” he laughed as his fingers ran through your hair. Less than 72 hours and you could do that.

“Just life,” you responded, trying to tone down your excitement.

“What about it?” he asked.

“Things are just so good and I mean somehow, you noticed me and now you’re talking to me and you’re being all nice and flirty and life is just crazy and good,” you rambled out, leaving David with a big smile. 

“You’re so cute,” he laughed. “I don’t think you realize that I’m lucky too. You’re so cute and precious, like my life is pretty good with you in it now.” David sighed, “I just really want to meet you. I want to soon, I just have so much going on.” His lips became pouty after finishing his words. Biting down on your lip, you tried to contain your smile, so David wouldn’t suspect anything odd.

“We will soon,” you replied, looking as David seemed a little bummed.

“Not soon enough,” he mumbled.

Shortly after, you told David you had to go get ready for work, but in reality, you went to talk to your parents about everything. It took some convincing, but finally your parents agreed. For the next three days, you distanced yourself from David slightly since you were scared your excitement would cause you to say something or let something slip out to then ruin the surprise. David noticed and had asked, but you promised that it was just because you were busy with work and family stuff. He said he believed you, but seemed a little off still.

Finally, the day had arrived. Your parents were dropping you off, still a little weary of letting you go off to California with people they had never truly met, even though Scotty and Kristin talked to your parents through facetime. They hugged you goodbye, and you started your adventure. Waiting for you flight to board, David texted you, yet again asking to facetime. Your heart hurt a little since you had to decline the offer. If you called and he heard anything, it would ruin the whole surprise. You typed a quick reply before your flight was called for boarding.

you: babe, i’m sorry, i promise i’ll call you later, but i gotta go.

david: okay :(

A feeling of guilt hit your heart as you took your seat. Sending one final text, to David and then turning on your airplane mode:

you: david, it’ll be worth the wait i promise <3

With your last text, you plugged in your headphones and closed your eyes, preparing for the flight to California, to then meet David.

Your flight landed easily and you called Scotty as you exited the plane. 

“Hey!” Scotty chirped over the phone.

“I’m here!” you exclaimed through the phone. Scotty laughing could be heard through the phone.

“Okay, Kristin and I are here right now too. We’ll be in the pickup area,” Scotty replied and Kristin being her cute self, cheered in the background. “Just call me if you need anything or need help,” he added, before you both said goodbye. Hurriedly, you claimed your baggage and rushed towards the pickup area, Scotty and Kristin stood with a sign that said “y/n aka David’s girl,” causing you to giggle. You rushed over to them and Kristin leaned in to give you a hug, and you happily hugged her. 

“Thank you so much!” you smiled again as you and Kristin pulled away. Scotty gave you a side hug.

“Thank you for actually coming,” Kristin smiled, kindly. You all headed towards Scott’s car and he propped his camera up on the dashboard.

“Hi guys!” Scotty greeted into the camera. “I’m here today with girlfwiend Kwisten and David’s soon to be girlfwiend, y/n,” Scotty joked into the camera as he began to drive. You waved to the camera and felt a warmth rise to your cheeks. “So we’ve made jokes before and everything about a mystery girl, but there is one, and here she is!” he exclaimed happily. Kristen pointed the camera to you and asked:

“Are you nervous?”

You laughed slightly before replying, “I’m pretty sure anyone meeting David Dobrik would be pretty nervous.” Kristin gave you a big smile before putting the camera back on the dashboard.

“So, we’ll tell the story while driving to surprise David. So, y/n used to comment on David’s photos and David noticed her and then followed her. She commented asking why they weren’t married yet,” Scotty paused to laugh at you groaning and covering your face in embarrassment, “and David messaged her asking when she was free for the wedding.” A small smile took over your face while reminiscing on that moment. “Now, this has been going on for around two months, so everyone decided to find this mystery girl and try and get her to come here to surprise David.” Scotty finally finished the story and excitement filled you. The ride felt like centuries, and your nerves caused you to play with your fingers as Kristen, Scotty and you had small conversations, until you arrived at David’s house. Scotty unbuckled and turned the camera on you.

“Are you ready?” he exclaimed and Kristin made some more happy sound effects.

“I’m so nervous,” you admitted.

“Well, you have about thirty seconds before he’s down in the driveway!” Scotty replied, making your nerves increase. You got out of the car and hid behind on the side David couldn’t see, nor could you see him. 

“David!” Kristen called and you could hear David laugh.

“What are you doing here?’ David asked. 

“Well, we wanted to surprise you,” Scotty said. “With something or should I say, someone.”

“What?” David laughed out, clearly a little confused. At this time, you came out from behind the car and into the sight of David. His facial features changed from confusion, to pure shock. “What are you doing here?” he asked, with the biggest smile.

“Surprise!” Scotty and Kristin said together.

“Surprise,” you smiled.

“Oh my god,” David grinned, before you rushed over to hug him. His arms wrapped around your back and tugged you towards him. “You’re here,” he mumbled as he nuzzled his head into your neck. David brought your feet off the ground and spun you around, like they did in the movies and you squealed.

“Well isn’t this cute,” Scotty said.

“Thank you!” David smiled, still keeping his arms wrapped around you, keeping you close to him. “This is the best surprise ever!” You laughed at how David sounded like a little boy on Christmas.

“Alright, well, our job here is done,” Kristin said, heading towards the car. You went to follow, but David wouldn’t let you go.

“David, let me say goodbye and thank them!” you said as he kept his head nuzzled into your neck once again. He shook his head into your your neck. “Babe,” you giggled and he slowly let go of you. You took your hand into his and headed towards the car, smiling back at him warmly. He grinned back at you and moved quickly to hug you from behind as you stopped at the car. David hugged you from behind as you tried to walk towards Scotty and Kristen. Your suitcase was on the driveway and David remained attached to you as you hugged Kristin and Scotty goodbye. “Thank you so much,” you said with a smile.

“Just don’t get too crazy kids,” Scotty teased before climbing into his car, Kristin following suit.

“No promises,” David called with a grin as he looked at Scotty and you shook your head at David’s response. You walked backwards so Scotty and Kristin could peel out of the driveway. Once they were out of the driveway, you turned you body to face David.

“I told you it would be worth the wait,” you grinned as you looked up at David, taking in all his features. He was even cuter in person.

“Definitely worth two days with no facetime calls,” he agreed. With so much happiness flooding through you body, you pushed your body upwards so you could press a soft kiss to his lips. It was short and sweet and you both smiled in the kiss. Once you pulled away, David added, “Completely worth the wait.”

“So, you gunna invite me inside or are we going to stand in your driveway all day?” you teased, looking up at David.

“I guess, I mean we have to I told Scott no promise on having too much fun,” he smiled as you rolled your eyes.

“Not tonight, Dobrik,” you laughed, cuddling into his embrace. 

“I mean how long are you here for?” he asked, laughing as you slapped his arm. “Kidding!”

“Let’s just go inside,” you said, giggling.

“Gladly,” David smiled before grabbing your bag and running into his house. Chuckling, you walked towards the door and after you closed it, you were brought into a bear hug. Your heart pounded as you smiled and cuddled into David’s warm embrace. “I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he whispered as he hugged you.

“Well, I’m here,” you smiled before glancing up at him.

“Thank, God,” he grinned before pecking your lips. “Only problem is I might not let you go home. You might be stuck here,” he added.

“I think I could deal with that.” You both beamed at one another before leaning in for another kiss.

a/n: i just want this to happen to me :(((((( but i made an instagram page for david bc i love that cute fuck so follow please bc it’s gunna be a good time. xoxo bri

[oshea-meg]

Let’s battle these demons

Damn I really didn’t want this to be my first post. What I really wanted to publish as my first post was something more meaningful, or inspirational, or one of my profoundly deep epiphany’s I’ve had about life. But I guess I’ll save those for later, because if there’s anything I’ve learned that I find to be 100% true, it’s that life never goes according to our own plan. So this is me, going with the flow, and dealing with what needs to be dealt with; the haunting of you.

And by you- I mean my father. Ah yes, Daniel Shawn O’Shea. Former lacrosse all star, business entrepreneur, loving husband and wonderful father are what many referred to him as while I was growing up. And for the longest time- 15 whole years actually, I bought into that lie too.

You were my knight in shining armor. My cheerleader. My coach. My #1 fan. But most of all, my best friend.

I remember the things we did together as early as 3 years old. How every single morning before you went off to work we ate special k cereal, and after mom had already left to take my siblings to school you would add sugar to both our bowls. Every day. Or when you came in to say goodnight and would stay up 15 minutes past my bed time to listen to what I did that day. Lmao imagine listening to a 6 year old explain their entire day to you... must’ve been really riveting stuff because you did it every single night. Or maybe you really did love me that much.

I remember you taking me to school every day when we lived in Charleston. The 45 minute drive to James Island filled with rock hits from the 80s and 90s. I loved those car rides.

I remember that you came up with the idea of taking me to Dunkin’ Donuts after church every Sunday when I started to dread going. And our Sundays filled with rooting on the Baltimore Ravens.

I remember you taking me to all my swim practices. And staying there for me when I had too much anxiety to be there on my own. Even if you had work to do, you would sit in the car in the parking lot and wait, just to give me the peace of mind you were there.

You were a great father, an amazing one even, until all of a sudden you weren’t anymore.

It still amazes me to this day how I had gone so long without knowing, or realizing, or seeing some sort of sign. Well, I guess I could’ve missed the signs. It happens, when you love someone.

It started when we moved to Florida. The silent treatment. If I couldn’t make it to swim practice because I had too much homework, or a test even, you wouldn’t speak to me the rest of the day. Or even eat dinner with mom and I.

Once mom left Florida I gave up swimming altogether, and that left us with having less in common. In an effort to bring that aspect of our relationship back, I took up lacrosse. Of course you loved that. You started taking me to practices again, games, even practicing wall ball with me outside of practice. It was good again. We hungout again, like we had before everything fell apart.

...Until I did something you didn’t want me to do. Like, visit mom for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Or FaceTime my sister. Or cancel our plans to go to your work dinner because I had too much homework.

I really don’t know why that dinner was so god damn important. But for whatever reason in your mind it was. Apparently, more important than taking care of your daughter.

I remember waiting for 3 hours after school for you to pick me up that day. Just like any other day. But you never came. Matthew had to come pick me up and take me home. And when he dropped me off, and I walked into the apartment you were already home. You had already made dinner, cleaned the dishes, and were in your room. No care in the world to what I was doing, your 15 year old daughter. The next day, I woke up to you already gone with a note that said “take the bus”. That was it. No “I love you”. No “I’m sorry”. Just: take the bus.

This pattern continued for two weeks, I’d wake up, and you were already gone. I’d get home, and you would already be in bed, wishing to remain unbothered by me. I don’t remember how you started talking to me again, but eventually you did. But then I’d do something else you didn’t like and it would be more of the same... more of the same god damn silence.

Then, after visiting mom for a summer in Texas, two whole months, I got off the plane and you picked me up. I remember being excited to see you, for once in a really long time. You greeted me with a giant hug, and I remember thinking in that moment maybe you just needed to miss me for a summer to want to try harder. To be the old dad you were again. And then... you said you had news to share. You sat me down at the airport chick fil a, and shared that over the past two months you got a job in Miami and had already moved there. My whole fucking life, moved, without me even knowing it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how I felt in that moment. To say my world collapsed was an understatement. You wanted me to be okay with moving to Miami with you? Without even asking me first? Miami? Where your depressed and suicidal daughter had absolutely 0 friends, let alone friends that had been with me through the hell I had been living in. Who was going to be there for me when you weren’t speaking to me?

Well, by the grace of God I didn’t move to Miami with you. I moved in with my best friends family instead. And you let me. And I think that’s what you really wanted. It didn’t take more than 5 hours between the time of you picking me up from the airport and figuring out the logistics of me living with Kristin. I think you knew they would take me in, and now you were free of taking care of me.

That year was even more hellish than the years prior. You visited me once maybe every two months. Honestly I didn’t care if you hadn’t come to visit me at all. I dreaded your visits. The relationship we had wasn’t the one I knew growing up. It was calculated, convenient, controlling and filled with conditional love. On your conditions of course.

I remember my breaking point well. I had missed some 80+ school days at that point and knew I had to leave. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning anymore. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t even hangout with my friends when they were over at the house. I called my mom, and she hopped on the next plane to Florida to come get me. I called the judge overseeing my custody case and cried to her on the phone saying I had to leave and go to Texas. I needed a family again. I needed to be taken care of.

I remember the text I sent to you after you ignored my calls. I told you that I was sorry. I was the one to apologize. I told you I still wanted to have a relationship with you and that I could visit on school breaks. I told you thank you for all you had done for me. And I told you that I loved you. But then, I told you that you hurt me. You hurt me when you wouldn’t speak to me, and you hurt me when you left me with another family to take care of me. Out of everything I had done that you didn’t like, this must’ve been the thing you disliked the most. Because just like that, you left me on read. On. Fucking. Read.

You know that really cliche saying, “silence speaks louder than words”? If there’s any second thing I know to be 100% true, it is that saying. And my dad taught me that. In a heartbeat I would rather take a screaming fight, a long conversation, an uncomfortable confrontation, over the silent treatment. Over not knowing, or understanding what is wrong.

See silence might be louder, but words have a definitive meaning. Words have the power to express what went wrong, what went right, how a person feels or thinks. Silence does none of that. It creeps, stirs, and provokes one sided thoughts of doubt, confusion, and anger. It leaves one person thinking, “what did I do?”

And that’s what I’ve thought for the past 7 years since you left my text on read. Seven years of silence. I’ve had the same number, same email. Same Facebook, same Instagram. You could’ve reached out to me. But you haven’t. And you won’t. Because I’m in the past. And why? What did I do as your daughter that was so terrible you couldn’t even respond to my text that day? Or any of the 2,000+ days that have passed since then?

For the longest time I didn’t realize the impact this had on me and my relationships, until the past few years. When I began to experience silence again. When I began to become vulnerable with people, and create intimate relationships, which resulted in silence.

Thus begins Chapter One of Meg’s journey to freedom: living in the silence

Tbc

[strangenightsofdaydreams]

21 Questions Tag

I was tagged by the lovely, the effulgent @bettysnooper. Thank you!! Mwah! Unless you don’t want a virtual cheek kiss, then hug? or shoulder pat? hand hug? Whatever works 💙

Nickname: Fonsie. Although gosh... I have so many other individual nicknames which can be sweet but I feel like it’s time to cap it. No more creations, please. I am already trained to respond to all sorts of things from Kitty to May to Woosh. Star Sign: Gemini. I say Cancer half the time, I can not be bothered for accuracy. Height: 5’4. On one side of my family that makes me tall and on the other, it makes me a midget. I can never win. Favorite Colors: mint green, teal, soft yellow, navy, dark red, light pink, eggplant What am I wearing: Grey Sleepants/Sweatpants, strawberry ankle socks. My ace ring, standard underthings including a bra because it’s summer and underboob sweat is no joke, no makeup at the moment, baggy but soft black T-shirt. Eau du hand sanitizer because (insert fake chuckle) immunity issues. The works y’all, nothing fancy today. Dream Job: Being an interpreter or verbatim reporter for the UN Favorite Quote: There are so many I adore. This, however, is very important to me also on a spiritual level so... “An it harm none, do what ye will.”- by Doreen Valiente in the Wiccan Rede Favorite Food: How dare you? Favorite Sport: The only sport I make sure I don’t miss catching on the Olympics is ice skating, solo, and partner. It’s all beautiful. I also watch women’s gymnastics, volleyball, diving, horseback riding, archery, and badminton once in a while. Dream Trip: I started filling a binder when I was barely eleven with pages ripped out of international magazines. I did that for years till it was bursting. And then I transitioned to favoriting and emailing myself articles from travel websites and blogs. Which trip I would want depends on about -oh 14 factors- so idk insufficient data lol. Languages: English. And then some Chinese, French and Hungarian (this one being the least known) but none of these are close to fluency and I am still actively working on them. Also, I have attended ASL classes before and plan to take more in the future. Favorite Song: I love a lot of songs since I tend to prefer individual over albums in general. That being said, the first song to ever touch me the way a favorite song needs to was Undisclosed Desires by Muse. Favorite Book: see this doesn’t say favorite series which would make it easier to answer but I am going to say my top four right now... 1) Hyperbole and a Half 2) The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane 3) Fire by Kristin Cashore 4) A Thousand Nights by E.K. Johnston. What do I hate: So many things. I am going to go pet peeve-wise instead of getting personal and deeply looking into society’s flaws. I could get “Thou shall not eat restaurant leftovers that do not belong to you” embroidered on a pillow. Don’t do it. You know better. It’s not like a grocery store run item where you can replace it willy-nilly. And I will remember forever if you do, seriously I’ll bring it up at your funeral... I have no shame when it comes to my food. Random Facts: I have so many things I could put here. Uhhhh... I tend to perch when I am not thinking about what I should be counting as a chair. Sitting on things that were not meant to be seats and easily maintaining my balance is trademarked as one of my quirks in my house. My mom gets a kick out of it but it just feels natural. Example: currently I am sitting upon a fake fireplace electric space heater. It is quite narrow and not meant for sitting but it happens and I’m not mad at the experience. Also, to be fair, I am never going to use this thing for its actual purpose since I have scars from the last time. That is not a joke: the New Years incident of 2017-2018 forever changed the texture of the back of my hands and destroyed my faith in the stupid fancy safety hazard my butt is plunked on right now. Do I get asks: Occasionally. I’m okay with the amount I get. It’s all been positive and I am still getting used to Tumblr. Hogwarts House: I have taken the test several times and gotten both Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Draw your own conclusions. Patronus: I feel like I could argue with myself for hours over this so I am just going to lay out all the candidates... Seals, chubby Bumblebees, Foxes, Cats.

Okay. I full-on don’t know who to tag. I follow a bunch of Riverdale people but I’m not on here a lot so I’ve only seen three other 21 tag posts filled out. Bear with me y’all. I’m just going to do 7 because 21 divided by 3 is 7 so it makes sense! Right?! @lanadeljones @lizzy92rc @a-true-janian-reply @foxsea007 @ava-rosier @miss-eee @itsnotoktohit

[consultingundergroundrainbow]

Life Changes (ch 1)

(Aged up) Peter Parker is living his dream on Broadway and catches the eye of famous doctor Tony Stark

Tony looked around the theatre. It was nice. Of course it was, it was Broadway, after all.

"Do we have to go see Hairspray of all things?" He complains. "It's so girly. I don't do girly musicals. Hell I don't do musicals. It's not my thing. Can't I just go back to work?"

Pepper swats his arm. "It's a good musical. And no. You need time off. You're overworking yourself again."

"It's not my fault being a surgeon is time consuming." Tony sasses back. She was right, as always but still. Tony loved his job, He loved helping people get better.

"You need to relax Tony." "And I couldn't do that at home? With a drink?"

"No. Now we need to get seated. I got us good seats so shut up and enjoy it. It's the last performance of this cast and I heard it's really good."

"Fine. But you owe me one." Tony pouts.

"Alright you big baby." Pepper rolls her eyes and grabs his arm, dragging him into the theatre.

Tony complains but lets himself be pulled. Pepper had gotten them seat in the middle of the third row. He sits, crossing one leg over the other and opening the play bill. He scanned the cast names, recognizing a few.

-----.-----

Backstage was full of sounds of warming up and tap tag of people running back and forth, and dancing. Peter leans forward towards the mirror as he works at getting his hair into place. He had some time before he went out. He finally gets his hair settles and smiles, spinning around and winking at the mirror. He looks over at his best friend, Ned. Ned worked backstage with tech.

"Okay guys I have big news." Ned announces, setting his clipboard down as the cast members gathered around him. "We have some pretty big guests in the audience. Kristin Chenoweth is here and so is the renowned surgeon Tony Stark."

Peter, who usually didn't nervous on show nights, felt panic rising. His Broadway idol and Tony freakin Stark were in the audience. The cast members around him started talking over each other until Ned blew a whistle he kept with him and they shut up.

"That means we have to put on the best show of our lives tonight. Her opinion could make or break everyone's career. We go on in five so get ready. Bring it in."

The cast all put their hands in a circle and sing half a scale before shouting "Showtime". Peter smooths his jacket and does his best to calm his heart. He had to put his best foot forward and he couldn't very well do that if he threw up from nerves.

As his stage time slowly crept closer, Peter started to feel better. He loved the rush of performing. He rolls his shoulders back and stepped out for his first number. As soon as his feet hit the stage, he was okay.

-----.-----

Tony was only half paying attention , his mind elsewhere. He didn't understand what the big deal about Baltimore was. Personally he hated the city. The people were rude and it smelt bad. He had almost dozed off when a cocky sounding man started to speak. He was talking-then singing- about some nice kids. Tony rolls his eyes. There was no such thing as 'nice kids'. Especially in high school. The song was slightly racist but that was the time period.

"R-r-r-roll call!"

Tony started to tick off on his fingers. Amber, bitch. Brad, try hard. Tammy, fake. Fender, stoner. Brenda, teen mom. Sketch, dequlient. Shelly, annoying. IQ, junkie. Lou Ann, church girl. Joey, car obsessed. Mickey, jock. Vicki, cheerleader. Becky, slut. Bix, debate team. Jess, band nerd. Darla, single mom. Pauly, cat lady. Noreen and Doreen, know it alls. Then a new voice joined the cast.

"-And I'm......Link." The dark haired boy smirks and fixes his tie.

The audience went crazy when "Link" winks. Tony sits forward, intrigued now. He had a cute innocent face but wore the sexy look well. Tony had to admit the actor was pretty attractive, He was a bit young but after hearing his voice it's no wonder he's on Broadway. Tony is mesmerized, no matter how weird a name Link was. What kind of mother names their kid Link? He opens his playbill and scans the list of cast members. His name was Peter Parker. Tony made a mental note to look him up later.

Now that this boy caught his attention, Tony was actually paying attention to the musical. He'd deny it on his life if anyone asked, but he was actually enjoying himself. He felt a little more than he had in a while and it was nice. If he had to choose a favorite song from the musical, it would have to be 'It Takes Two' because of this Peter's beautiful voice or 'I Know Where I've Been' because it reminded him of his own life.

When the musical ended, Tony stands and stretches, carefully cradling the roses he bought during intermission. Pepper had told him she was dragging him to the cast party. He rolls his eyes playfully and follows.

"You liked it!" Pepper grins.

"I don't know what you mean." Tony banters playfully.

"You liked it. You don't smile for just anything, I know you. You liked the musical." She smirks. "Or was it the actor? Peter Parker?"

"You know me. You tell me." Tony laughs, following her outside.

-----.-----

Peter grins as he bows, feeling a rush of pride at an amazing performance. He was breathing hard and his face was pink with excitement. He follows the line of cast members off stage to change. He exchanges the blue suit for his own tux, running his hand over the fabric. He would miss this cast and show. It had been his favorite so far. The crew were amazing and super nice. They all got along instantly.

"Hurry up Peter! We gotta go!" One of the company member, Elimie calls.

"Coming coming!" Peter fixes his tie and joins her. The cast broke off into groups and ducked into the waiting limos.

The cast party was held at the Prince George Ballroom. Peter had only seen it once. It was beautiful. Once they got there, Peter gets out and is immediately swarmed by reporters. He takes a breath and laughs under his breath.He didn't mind the press but sometimes it was rather annoying. He answers the questions with a smile.

"Mr. Parker!" One reporter calls. "What is your next show going to be?"

Peter thinks for a moment. "Well I've always wanted to be in Something Rotten. I think I'll audition for that next." With that, he ducks inside. He makes his way to the bar and orders a champagne. He thanks the bartender and looks around before walking around to mingle. He sees the director beckon him over and Peter obeys. It wasn't until he got over there that he realized just who his director was talking to.

"Hi sweetheart. Peter right?"

Peter was speechless Kristin freaking Chenoweth knew his name and was talking to him. He stood with his mouth slightly open before snapping it shut.

"Y-yeah. Sorry. Yes I'm Peter." He gives a shaky smile. "I'm sorry. But I just have to say, you have been a huge inspiration for me. The first musical I ever saw was Wicked and I loved you in Glee and Strange Magic was amazing.." Peter realized he was babbling and he trails off with a sheepish smile. "Sorry. It's just my dream to be like you."

Kristin smiles softly. "Well it's my pleasure. I'm proud to inspire young talent. Keep going, you're gonna be amazing doll."

Peter blushes lightly. If he was dreaming he never wanted to wake up.

"Oh. It looks like someone else wants your attention." Kristin says with a smile.

Peter turns and nearly fainted. Tony Stark stood there, with a patient smile on his face.

"I'll leave you to it." She pats his shoulder and walks away.

"H-hi." Peter stammers.

Tony couldn't help but smile. He was adorable when he was embarrassed.

"These are for you." He offers the flowers.

Peter looked up with surprise in his already large eyes.

"W-why?"

Tony almost laughs. "Because you did a good job? I find it hard to believe you don't compliments. Especially after a show like that?"

Peter flushed deeper. "O-oh of course. Thank you." He accepts the flowers.

"So how does it feel knowing you took my Broadway virginity?" Tony smirks.

Peter's mouth dropped open as he tried to answer and Pepper comes up and smacks his arm.

"Tony what did you do to him?"

"I only said that he took my Broadway virginity." Tony says with an innocent look. Pepper rolls her eyes.

"Tony!"

"What?"

"You can't just say things like that!"

"It's okay Miss." Peter speaks up. "I've heard weirder."

Tony smiles. "See, it wasn't that weird." He turns back to Peter.

"Can I have your autograph?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that." Tony laughs. "How about we trade?" He suggests, handing over his playbill.

Tony watches as Peter signs the playbill and finds a clean napkin and scribbles down his name and phone number before handing it over. Peter looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Use it and let me find out if you taste as good as you sound." Tony winks before his pager went off. He looks down and swears softly. "I have to go but I mean it. Call me." He winks and takes off.

[markharmonparadise]

Mark Harmon and His Family Enjoy Staying out of the Hollywood Spotlight: "It's Who We Are" (EXCLUSIVE)

May 30, 2018 8:00 am By Closer Staff

On NCIS, no case ever stumps naval investigator Leroy "Jethro" Gibbs, but in real life, Mark Harmon, 66, has long been befuddled by one mystery: fame. "My parents kept things real — I had no idea they were famous," says the son of sportscaster Tom Harmon and actress Elyse Knox. "In fact, it didn’t hit me until one day when I was riding in the car with my father in Ann Arbor, MI — I was maybe eight and could barely see above the dashboard — and we stopped at a crosswalk. Suddenly, we were surrounded by people who recognized my dad and were really thrilled to see him. I remember looking at this man I thought I knew so well and thinking, Who are you?"

Millions of people ask the same question about Mark to this day. He’s the star of TV’s No. 1 drama yet he maintains an intense sense of privacy. He’s raised Sean, 30, and Ty, 25 — his sons with wife Pam Dawber, 66, with whom he recently renewed his vows in a quiet backyard ceremony — to keep similarly low profiles. "It’s not even a choice. It’s who we are," Mark explains. "We stay home. A lot. I’m not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that, either."

Interviews with Mark as well as his family members, friends, and co-workers reveal a portrait of a consummate professional who values his home life above all else — and keeps it separate from his career, even during periods of severe personal and professional stress. "Mark is a shining example of the way it should be done," NCIS co-star Sean Murray exclusively tells Closer. "He’s incredibly grounded, works hard, and knows that family counts most."

Those are lessons Mark learned early in life. "My father wanted me to be self-motivated," he recalls. "I was taught the only way to go about getting something was with everything you had." That he did, becoming a football star for UCLA and working as a roofer, carpenter, and shoe salesman before getting into acting at the urging of Ozzie Nelson, his sister Kristin’s father-in-law (she’d wed Ozzie and Harriet’s son, Ricky, in 1963).

"I’d never been on a set before," Mark says of his 1973 acting debut on the Nelson family’s sitcom Ozzie’s Girls. "My character comes to the door in a gorilla outfit, and I got to say, 'My name’s Harry King Kong. Which way to the Empire State Building?'"

It was an inauspicious start, and the situation didn’t improve as Mark toiled in short-lived shows like the rescue drama 240-Robert (he played Deputy Dwayne "Thib" Thibideau) and the overheated soap Flamingo Road. He romanced Road co-star Cristina Raines for four years, but they split in 1984. "She will always be a very special lady to me," he said.

But Mark was looking for true love. "When I marry, I want it to be everything this town says it can’t be," he boldly declared in 1986. "I’m not into catting around." He met his match in Pam, who was introduced to him at a party thrown by a mutual friend. She had made a list of qualities she was seeking in a man — strength, intelligence, independence, sensitivity, sensuousness, warmth, and a sense of humor — and Mark ticked off every box. They wed in 1987, and Sean and Ty came along soon afterward.

While Pam had enjoyed success on the small screen with the sitcoms Mork & Mindy and My Sister Sam, she put her career aside to raise the kids. "I had children and it was like, 'I’m not going to chase this fame thing,'" Pam says. "I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and doughnuts. And I was very happy to do it."

Meanwhile, Mark’s career was really starting to cook with his breakout role as a heartthrob plastic surgeon on the critically worshipped hospital drama St. Elsewhere. But after three seasons, he felt lost in the teeming ensemble. "Mark’s a leading man, so I could understand his frustration," producer Tom Fontana tells Closer. "After all, he was a quarterback." In a groundbreaking plot twist, his heterosexual character contracted AIDS and left the show, but there were no hard feelings. "He did a great job with a challenging storyline," says Fontana. "We’ve stayed friends."

Trouble brewed on the home front, however: Kristin had gotten mixed up with drugs during her marriage to Ricky, and after the rocker died in a 1985 plane crash, she went off the deep end. Mark engaged in legal wrangling to win custody of her son, Sam, then 12, and convinced Kristin to enter rehab. "Nobody but my brother could have talked me into this, because I trusted him," Kristin said. Ultimately, Mark dropped his bid for custody and was granted visitation and Sam remained close to his mom until her death in April at age 72 from a sudden heart attack.

Mark and Pam have steered Sean and Ty clear of drugs and other temptations by being hands-on parents. That was another bit of hard-won wisdom for Mark. "I was in the jungles of New Guinea making a not-very-good movie [Till There Was You] when my firstborn took his first steps," he says. "No job is worth missing life’s most important moments."

He’s since served as a sterling role model to his sons, proving himself a real-life hero by saving two teens trapped in a wrecked Jeep near his LA home in 1996. Mark smashed the windshield with a sledgehammer and extracted the youths before their vehicle exploded. "I owe everything to him," said one of the survivors. "I have no doubt I wouldn’t be alive."

Mark’s career hit a lull in the 90s, but a guest shot on The West Wing put him back on the TV map, and in 2003 along came NCIS. The show had a rocky launch, as Mark clashed with creator Donald Bellisario over scripts arriving late and a zoo-like atmosphere on the set. Bellisario left and was replaced by Gary Glasberg, who became one of Mark’s closest friends and ran a tight operation, but Glasberg tragically died in his sleep at 50 in 2016. "That hit Mark very, very hard," an insider tells Closer.

Still, Mark righted the ship and continues to weather on-set storms, like co-star Pauley Perrette’s controversial recent departure amid allegations that Mark’s dog bit a crew member. "Mark’s very sensitive to the people around him," co-star Rocky Carroll assures Closer. "The reason it’s such a great working atmosphere is he wouldn’t have it any other way. You can just tell the kind of upbringing he had."

Mark leads by quiet example, à la Gibbs. "Like his character, he’s a functional mute," jokes Michael Weatherly, who left NCIS to star in his own CBS hit, Bull, in 2016. "Mark is a very old-fashioned, old-school gentleman, and I’ve learned a great deal at his side."

When fans recognize Mark — like they did his dad all those years ago in Ann Arbor — he remains the ultimate gent. "It’s hard to walk through airports even in the most out-of-the-way places without being surrounded by people who love the show — and that’s nothing to complain about," he says. "I’ve done TV shows where I walk through airports apologizing." No doubt he handled that with equal grace.

For more on Mark Harmon, pick up the new issue of Closer Weekly, on newsstands now — and sign up for our newsletter!

[bgmxbbj]

7 Ways to Spend First Year with Your Baby

A week or so after I had my first baby, my friend Susan stopped by -- just in the nick of time: Will had been crying for what felt like hours and nothing I did helped. Susan, who'd just had her second daughter, calmly scooped up my inconsolable newborn and did a sort of combo side-to-side swaying and up-and-down jostling that magically lulled him out of Waa-Waa Land.

I've had three kids since then, and Susan's "mommy jig" has been a lifesaver with every one of them. But I never would have known it if I hadn't let her help me out -- and that's exactly why she, and I, and other moms who've been there want you to remember these seven rules:

1. Asking for help does not make you incompetent.

Precisely the opposite, in fact. Sometimes, there's no other way to get from point A to point B. Even if there is, getting there alone can take twice as long and make you crazy.

Kim Ganier of Huntington Beach, California, was always a self-sufficient person -- until her first baby, Laci (now 3), was a week old and Ganier found herself doing laundry while "someone else was sitting in my glider and cuddling my baby. The lightbulb went on," she says. After that, visitors were put to work so Ganier could enjoy Laci. Her advice now: Speak up, be specific about what you need, and say yes when offered help of any kind. "You'll feel guilty at first, but you'll get over it," she says.

It'll be easier if you remember that someday you will reciprocate -- if not to the particular mom who helped you out, then to another. Several months ago, I was having dinner out with my kids when the mom at the next table asked if I had an extra diaper. I happily handed one over. Sure enough, not long after that, I discovered I'd forgotten to bring a clean swim diaper to the pool and had to go begging from lounge chair to lounge chair for a spare. A better-prepared mom than I saved the day.

So never let guilt or embarrassment or even your ego get in the way of accepting help. Improvising a diaper is a lot harder than returning a favor.

2. Babies don't need as much new stuff as you think.

They seem to outgrow everything from stretchies to bassinets overnight, so why stock up? "I wish someone had told me not to buy cutesy, expensive clothes for my newborn," says Kristine Shuler, mom of 3-year-old Kaylee in Baroda, Michigan. "Little did I know she would spend most of the time in T-shirts from Target. She didn't wear half the clothes I bought!"

There are two lessons here: First, take your time when deciding what you'll really need. Do a little research, make a list, and stick with it.  book is a great resource for teasing out what to buy and what to skip, by the way.) Second, as tempting as it is to buy everything fresh and new and adorable for your first baby -- resist. Some items, like swings and bouncy seats, are used for such short periods of time that they never see much wear and tear. Can you borrow from a friend? If not, check out

Marilyn Sklar swears by a children's resale store in her town. "When my daughter, Raquel, was born, I started buying gently used clothes from there. Later, I brought in some of Raquel's clothing and took an in-store credit to purchase more," says the mom of two in Phoenix. "Now I recycle that way whenever possible. We're saving money and being green!"

3. Getting a baby to sleep is worth the trouble.

This is a matter of basic maternal math: baby zzz's = mommy zzz's. Veteran moms will tell you that figuring out, early on, how to get your baby to go to sleep, stay asleep, and take regular naps is key to getting through that entire first year. "Being sleep-deprived is a fact of life, but the sooner you get sleep figured out, the better," says Michelle Wilkins, a mom of three in Blacksburg, Virginia.

For Theresa Cole, mom of Ethan, 5, and Jordan, 1, in Kansas City, Missouri, the trick is to get your newborn used to falling asleep on his own: "Think twice about feeding your baby to put him to sleep. He's a clean slate, waiting to learn how to do things. If you teach him he can only drift off with a boob or bottle in his mouth, that's the only way he will -- even at two in the morning. And, seriously, who wants to deal with that every night for the next couple of years?"Follow more to check african congo mask 

I'm a firm believer in consistency. When my third baby was 9 months old and not taking decent naps during the day, I came up with some new routines. I stopped letting him catnap in the car while I ran errands, and planned outings around his naptime, to make sure he could go down in his crib. I also turned his room into a sleep haven (blackout shades, white-noise machine). Pretty soon he was napping twice a day, and snoozing better at night, too. To keep daytime noise to a minimum, Jamie Pearson, mom of Avery, 7, and Max, 5, in Palo Alto, California, adds this tip: "Make a diplomatic front-door sign that says, 'Baby napping. Please visit us another time.' "

4. Competitive parenting: not cool.

Of course you already know that babies develop at their own pace. And of course you know there's more to your baby than when he hits milestones. But when it seems like every kid in the playgroup except yours is sitting up or saying "Mama," it can take all your willpower to act like you just don't care.

It's totally understandable to compare. But for the sake of your sanity, it's worth trying to stop. "I made the conscious decision to believe the experts who said that the spectrum of normalcy was wide," says Susie Sonneborn Blim, a mom of three in Montclair, New Jersey. "I also stopped hanging out with moms who were constantly boasting about or obsessing over their babies' milestones, because that played a huge part in how caught up I got with comparing my baby to other babies."

Pearson had a similar tactic: "When Avery wasn't the first -- or second, or third -- baby in my mothers' group to crawl, I told myself that the impatient, intense, irritable babies were always the early crawlers and walkers," she says. "I kept these theories to myself, of course!" If you're truly worried that your baby is falling behind, bring it up with your pediatrician. She should be your go-to expert when it comes to your child's health and development -- not the bragging, pitying other moms.

5. You and your baby don't have to be joined at the hip.

Experts say: Being touched, held, carried, and cuddled is vital to a baby's development. Moms answer back: There's nothing more delicious than touching, holding, carrying, and cuddling a baby -- to a point. When it's clear that you and/or your baby need a break from each other, take it. This is especially true when your infant's wailing or your pre-toddler's whining is about to push you over the edge. Hand her to Daddy or send out an SOS to a friend or relative.

If there's no one you can call on for help, take a tip from Christine Klepacz, a mom of two in Bethesda, Maryland. "When your baby is crying and you could burst into tears yourself, or when you're just overwhelmed, it's okay to put her in her crib for a while and sit by yourself. She's safe, and sometimes she needs time away from you, too. It's okay. We all do it!"

It's equally important to carve out time for yourself regularly -- not just when you're about to go off the deep end. If there's one thing Jennifer Geddes, a Parenting staffer and mom of two girls, learned during the first year, it's that "you have to take a few minutes for yourself here and there. It's essential to being a happy and healthy mom. I was so concerned with attending to my daughter's needs that I neglected my own. I barely ate, slept, or left the house," she says.

If you're thinking, "Yeah, right -- I can barely get a shower," wait: It's doable. You just have to plan ahead, be creative, and adjust your definition of what constitutes a relaxing break. Where, prebaby, you were used to spur-of-the-moment shopping sprees or on- a-whim workouts, you might find, like Marilyn Sklar, that your idea of a good time now is "a glass of wine and a good book after the children are in bed." Or a brisk walk in the morning before they get up. Me, I swear by weekend matinees. I can get a lot of regenerative mileage out of two hours by myself in a cozy, dark theater with a bag of popcorn, lost in a great story onscreen.

6. The best baby stage is the one you're in.

"They grow up so fast." The reason you'll hear this from everyone and her grandmother: It's true. Kim Lavergne of Nashville, mom of 2-year-old Justin, remembers feeling like time was crawling after he was born. "In reality, the days go by so fast that the next thing you know, your child is no longer a baby," she says. "I've learned to cherish and enjoy the time I spend with Justin."

Charlene Kochensparger of Centerville, Ohio, who has a daughter and a son, seconds that. "First-time parents tend to wish the time away -- 'I can't wait for her to crawl, walk, talk' -- and not enjoy the moment," she says.

The time slipped away from Loretta Sehlmeyer of Dix Hills, New York, because she was so focused on being a perfect parent to her son, Christian, now 4. "I fretted so much over caring for him that I missed the entire experience. I honestly didn't notice that my baby was growing and changing a little bit each day. I spent a lot of time looking at him, but I was way too distracted to actually see him," she says.

"So take some time each day, real time, to hold your baby and do nothing else but use your senses to connect with him. Smell his sweetness, and look at those tiny fingers and toes and amazing little nose."

7. There's no one else like you.

Only a handful of babycare rules are written in stone (specifically, those having to do with health and safety -- like, you really should always put a baby to sleep on his back). Most everything else is up for interpretation. "It's great to read up, solicit opinions, and listen respectfully to advice you haven't asked for," says Michelle Wilkins. "But you know your baby and yourself best. You'll know when an idea resonates."

Adds Chantel Fry, mom of Dylan, 3, and Madalyn, 7 months, in Pittsburgh: "You're going to be different than the next mom. Not better, not worse -- because you do the best you can, and if at the end of the day your child has laughed, and is clean and fed, you can go to sleep knowing that you did what is expected of you." No matter how you did those things, exactly, you can be proud that you're inventing your own special way of being a mom.

[odanurr87]

My thoughts on... Altered Carbon

Apologies for not posting this review earlier but a few things happened during the week, one of which was the Farewell episode of Life is Strange: Before the Storm and I simply couldn’t not play it right away. Also, as you may have noticed by now, I hadn’t written up this review yet. I’ll try to keep this brief.

Overall, Altered Carbon is a series I enjoyed a great deal due to several factors, the first of which is its length. Much like British TV shows, Altered Carbon’s first season is short, comprised only of ten episodes, what’s good because it doesn’t dilute the narrative and keeps the momentum going. I’ve lost count of how many filler episodes there are in any given American TV show and I’ve often pondered how much better something like, say, The Flash would be if it were given half the number of episodes to tell a story. Not to mention there are only so many times I can be invested in Barry having to defeat yet another evil speedster. Altered Carbon is given 10 hours to make this work and I believe it succeeds.

The second factor that immediately appealed to me was the blend between sci-fi and crime thriller ala Blade Runner (probably leaning more towards 2049 than the original). The main protagonist, Takeshi Kovacs, is introduced to us as a mercenary on the run who is later hired as a private eye to look into a murder given his... colourful background. The investigation is certainly eventful and well-paced although it doesn’t do as good of a job as other murder mysteries, such as Poirot, or Miss Marple, in involving the audience and trying to get them to play detective themselves. By the time Kovacs decided to gather everyone in the traditional “room scene” I had few concrete reasons to suspect any of them for the murder but Takeshi managed to paint a colourful picture as was, indeed, the intention. 

Perhaps this is compounded by the fact that, in Altered Carbon’s universe, the body is just a shell (wink wink), a sleeve, a skin that can be worn by anyone, what makes it difficult to guess who may be using a person’s sleeve at any given time, a fact that Altered Carbon takes advantage of throughout the series. This leads to a number of plot threads that introduce new characters and potential allies of Takeshi, such as Kristin Ortega (played by Martha Higareda), a police officer who’s aware of Takeshi’s colourful past and decides to keep tabs on him; and Vernon Elliot (played by Ato Essandoh), a former medic in the Tac Marines who initially becomes a prime suspect in Takeshi’s investigation. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Poe (played by Chris Conner), the Raven hotel’s Artificial Intelligence who takes on the appearance of, you guessed it, Edgar Allan Poe and sees himself as Takeshi’s partner in crime. If only. Poe’s introduction in episode 1 is probably the best in the series (certainly the funniest and a tad creepy as well) and I hope he returns in an eventual sequel.

Poe, one of the best supporting characters.

Since we’re talking cast I should mention a few other names that are tied to Takeshi’s past but for that I need to paint you a picture of the setting. As I mentioned earlier, in this alternate future, humanity has unlocked the means to live forever by storing their consciousness in a chip called a “stack.” In so doing however, humanity has paved the way for further differentiation of the classes, where the rich and powerful can practically live forever in the best and most alluring sleeves while the lower classes either die or often get placed in the cheapest bodies they can afford. At one point, a group of rebels called Envoys decided to rise against this system and tried to put an end to immortality. Needless to say, it did not go well for them and the series explores the events that led to their downfall alongside the murder mystery. In fact, Takeshi was the sole surviving member of their group and he was put on ice for a couple hundred of years. You can imagine he was none too thrilled about being brought back to solve the murder of an immortal, as he embodies everything Takeshi fought against.

Takeshi Kovacs, meet the new Takeshi Kovacs.

This segways nicely into an interesting discussion point as Altered Carbon’s main protagonist is played by two actors (three actually, as he’s briefly played by Byron Mann in the beginning as the above picture shows): Will Yun Lee, during his Envoy days; and Joel Kinnaman (whom you may recognize from Suicide Squad), during the murder investigation. Personally, I liked both their performances and I even felt, at times, that I could see Lee’s Takeshi in Kinnaman’s performance, what is no mean feat. Connecting the two is Quellcrist Falconer (played by Renée Elise Goldsberry), the smart and fearless leader of the Envoys and, incidentally, Takeshi’s love interest. I absolutely loved her interactions with Takeshi, be them past or present. Indeed, Altered Carbon successfully weaves and balances the Envoy storyline with the murder mystery in a way reminiscent of how Arrow used to balance Oliver’s past in the island and his day-to-day as a vigilante in Star City. Some, if not all, of the best moments in the series involve these two in some form or another. Quell is always present in Takeshi’s thoughts, even in death, and her wisdom helps him out of many a tight spot. It’s a rather beautiful, if tragic, love story and I’m a sucker for those. The ending of the series perfectly sets up the sequel playing to Quellcrist’s theme, undoubtedly the most emotional of the music tracks in the series and my personal favourite (sadly, it’s not a part of the OST). Since I mentioned music, I must admit Altered Carbon has some badass scenes that are perfectly enhanced by tracks like PJ Harvey’s “The Wicked Tongue.” Is the soundtrack worth listening to on its own? My first answer would be “no” but let me get back to you on that.

Quell is my favourite supporting character and I hope we see more of her in a sequel.

There are a few other positives and negatives I could mention about the show but I’ll do so in the spoilers section of this post. In general lines, the murder mystery is relegated to a second place after a certain point in the series as it switches to the heist genre once the criminal mastermind has been identified (perhaps somewhat sooner than I would’ve liked in retrospect). The reveal came as a bit of a surprise, even when it really shouldn’t have. Personally, I found the conclusion to the investigation more disappointing than the culprit’s identity as a few things line up rather too conveniently. 

The series has also been, to an extent, criticized for its somewhat gratuitous depictions of gore and nudity but, to be fair, it’s nothing we haven’t seen in Game of Thrones before, a series that, if I remember correctly, was praised for that very same fact not too long ago (even though I always felt this was done for the shock value and to attract viewers). However, at least the nudity doesn’t seem too out of place in Altered Carbon when you consider most of the universe’s richer denizens see their bodies, their sleeves, as a sign of their power and would probably waste no opportunity to show off (indeed, one such scene transpires between Takeshi and Miriam Bancroft). Still, I believe the series would work just as well if there was less of it.

Overall, Altered Carbon is a series I would heartily recommend to any fan of science fiction and murder mysteries, not to mention it has a solid romance story between Takeshi and Quell (and maybe between Takeshi and the beautiful Kristin Ortega, you’ll just have to see!). I’m a bit puzzled by the critics’ tepid, if not outright dismissive, reception of this series, but for a while now I’ve had the feeling that critics have become increasingly out of touch with what people look for in entertainment. Their professionalism in analyzing or critiquing a film or a series has, sadly, become more and more influenced by their biases and agendas (be those political or otherwise), as recent releases like Ghostbusters or The Last Jedi would suggest (or the different reception to The Orville vs. Star Trek Discovery insofar TV shows are concerned). In fact, James Raney over at YouTube makes an interesting comparison between reviews for Netflix’s Bright and Disney’s The Last Jedi, highlighting the lack of consistency when reviewing one of the other (you can watch his video here). Erik Kain from Forbes also wrote an article about a month ago arguing some critics didn’t do their due diligence when reviewing Altered Carbon (you can read his article here). Is the takeaway here that I should start watching everything the critics review badly? I should hope not.

With that said, let’s dive into spoiler territory.

I didn’t like the character of Lizzie, Vernon’s daughter. I thought Poe’s therapy took way too long and was meant entirely to have her show up in the last episode to save her parents through Kovacs’ levels of badassery in an outfit that felt out of place, if not out of character. Not to mention she hints at being able to see the future, something that comes entirely out of the left field and certainly adds nothing to this series but perhaps it’s setup for the sequel. It’s also rather convenient that she has the single, most damning, piece of evidence for Takeshi to round up his investigation, something you will probably guess early on and that the show will do its utmost to make you forget (or you will have solved at least half of the puzzle).

Much criticism has also been directed at the character of Reileen Kawahara (played by Dichen Lachman; did I mention the women in this show are all absolutely gorgeous?), Takeshi’s sister. As you can undoubtedly guess, she’s the evil mastermind behind everything that’s going on to the point she even has her version of Oddjob (that’s from James Bond’s Goldfinger in case you didn’t know) to run interference and murder everyone that gets in her way. I personally liked how Lachman played the character as I felt she was very attached to her brother (maybe too much so), to the point I truly believed she was sincere about wanting him back at her side, the two of them against the world, even if it was also crystal clear everyone else was utterly expendable to her. In hindsight, perhaps the flashbacks don’t accurately convey this bond as Takeshi and Reileen have little time to reconnect, after being separated since childhood, before they’re recruited into the Envoys, but Reileen certainly comes across as (overly) protective of her big brother from that point onwards. Props to Joel Kinnaman also as Reileen’s and Takeshi’s last scene aboard the “Head in the Clouds,” is especially poignant as you can see how neither truly wants to harm the other and it tears Takeshi (and the viewer) apart when he finally pulls the trigger and end his sister’s life. As the resort plunges from the skies to its inevitable doom, Takeshi ignores Ortega’s pleas to escape with her and resolves to stay with his little sister to the very end.

Please find a way to reunite brother and sister in a sequel! It’s so sad we spent so little time with her before she was outed as the villain.

I think that about covers it. As you may have noticed, I’ve taken a liking to several of the supporting characters in the show. Sadly, all of these end up dead but I’ve learned not to take death for granted in a sci-fi show, especially one where there a technology exists that can backup a person’s consciousness. Let me add here that I also liked Ortega’s busybody character but I feel her arc was well-rounded at the end of the series so I don’t think it’s necessary for us to see her again in the sequel, but maybe Takeshi will run into Elias Ryker one day? That would be fun to watch.

What did you make of Altered Carbon? Who was your favourite character? Who would you bring back? Also, with the introduction of sleeves, this show could potentially go on for as long as it wants (or has enough material), similarly to Doctor Who. Will Yun Lee could certainly reprise his role as Takeshi Kovacs or perhaps he could be played by someone else. The ending takes every precaution not give away any hint as to his ethnicity, to the point his new sleeve is even wearing gloves. Who would you like to see play Takeshi Kovacs in a sequel?