#and her need to take on actual responsibility and do the “uncool shit

[stacy-fakename]

Rat Grinders:Don’t do anything to the Bad Kids until antagonized, and it’s later revealed that their bad actions were a result of being groomed by one of their teachers for years and then murdered and possessed.

Intrepid Heroes:Fuck you, sending you to hell and you can’t be revived.

[unnaturalequilibrium]

So, hi. It's me again, yeah, me with the obscure recommendations I try to peddle like designer drugs to over-privileged teenagers brandishing their parents black card. But listen *slowly opens trenchcoat* I've got something real special for you this time. It's called 66th North Precinct (check out the trailer).

Back when I watched Bitter Daisies I kept going on about how that trope or the archetype of a stoic detective who is competent in their professional life, but is a bit of a fumble fuck when it comes to expressing their own emotional existence is a perfect fit for a lesbian character and that point still fucking stands. And apparently the Universe is paying attention to some of the fuckery I spew and occasionally even hands me exactly what I ask for. Because this - was it.

You’ve got the main character of Maria who is a retired professional boxer turned police detective who struggles with finding meaning in her work and feeling settled in her life. Surrounding her are her various oddball family members, friends and colleagues who are equal measures helpful and unintentionally hurtful as she navigates a world that is no longer as straightforward as when she was younger and had no real responsibilities beyond winning the next match. On the tin you’ve seen this in some format before, only difference is that for once this character is actually a lesbian with a wife and two kids. But without that being an issue, or well it is the issue as she deals with trying to balance responsibilities and professional fulfillment. So being married and having a family is part of the conflict of this story, but what isn’t a problem however is her homosexuality. Same thing as how Maria’s wife Essi struggles with her relationship with her parents-in-law, but not because of any signs of homophobia but because she’s from the “big city” which in this context is a bit of an offense.

Basically this is the kind of story straight people usually get, but we seldom do. There are no coming outs, no gay panics, no navigating a hateful world. Instead it’s rather simple; it’s wives arguing about domestic things, struggling with communication, supporting each other emotionally and professionally and trying to find time for each other as kids, work and family need to be juggled. It's drama without the dramatics. All of that in the setting of a crime procedural that mixes dry humour with the serious and feels deeply melancholic (vemodigt) in a way that I think only Nordic fiction can be.

But even if the marriage is written in the same way a straight couple would be the character Maria Pudas is the kind of main character you will recognize, the dumbass stoic who is so gay coded all you need are the thumbnails for the episodes to know she’s supposed to be a dyke (posture, styling, yeah just the whole shebang). No, true story, bro. Only reason I started watching was because I was looking through what was on streaming, saw the show, clicked the episode list and got preemptively annoyed because I have seen this before, the perfect lesbian character that never is allowed to be gay. Sure I know judging a book by its covers is uncool and all, but sometimes we do the duck a disfavour by pretending it doesn't know how to quack.

Despite my annoyance I decided that "what the fuck I hear turquoise and self-flagellation is in this spring" and I went against my better judgment and pressed play. And as feared each frame had my eye twitching a little more irregularly as the gay ramped up, but when it was revealed she had a son I had enough, experience have thought me the next scene would then introduce a husband and I couldn’t take that shit again. I refused to lose yet another potentially awesome lesbian character to sloppy straight washing. Luckily I was so completely drained of energy that reaching for the remote took longer than it should have and during that painstaking process another woman showed up on screen and she too acted like the son’s mother -  so there I was frozen in place with spasming core muscles as it slowly unfolded that yes, they were introducing her spouse, but turns out that for once the writers had some guts and Maria Pudas was a lesbian and she and her wife were in fact quacking their asses off. Carefully and with narrow slitted eyes I placed the remote back on my coffee table and almost reluctantly was treated. Treated damn well.

This was the after of the happily ever of that romance novel both of us have probable read, you know the one about the boxer who got a concussion and met a doctor she couldn't get out of her system. I mean, honestly I am going to call you a liar if you say you've never read a lesbian romance book or fanfic with a plot along those lines. This was basically the follow up of what happen after they get married. I get though that some people don't want the after part and for others I think this show might be a bit too slow paced and not flashy enough, it's not the CW, but rather it's government funded raggsock drama. That's not for everyone, I get that, but I really do hope you give it a go, because if nothing else it warmed me straight to my core to get so many continuous displays of romantic intimacy between two women. I mean we've been handed sweeps kissing since the late 90s, but I think I can count on my left hand the number of times I've seen something that just shows you simple romantic but non-sexual intimacies between women.

Unfortunately I don't know if you can find it will English subtitles anywhere accessible, but the episodes are up on yle's streaming site which is free with a Finnish vpn: Pohjoisen tähti

If you do find a way to watch come talk to me about what a hoot Maria's boss is, how Niko needs locking up on occasion so he stops interrupting and what the hell are we going to do about this urge to go snowboarding in Lapland?!

[shyficwriter]

You Laugh, You lose

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Yondu, Kraglin, Peter

Summary: You're stuck on planet until morning when a part fails on Yondu's M-ship, so Peter suggests a game to pass the time.

Author’s Note: This is the fluffy/funny fic I promised to make up for the two angsty fics before it. Hope you like it! Also shoutout to @badjokesbyjeff where I got most of these jokes from.

Word Count: 3,100

One rule.

You laugh. You lose.

Ok, maybe there were a couple more rules than that, but that was the gist.

It was a game often played between you and Peter, and occasionally also with Yondu or Kraglin on long job travels to kill the boredom.

The goal? Make the other person laugh. If you succeed, you win. You fail, then the game continues until someone loses it and laughs. Winner gets bragging rights, loser usually has to buy a round of drinks for the rest.

The game had originally started out with the one rule, but over time a couple more rules had been added. One of these rules was that stuff like tickling was cheating. You'd think this would have been an obvious rule to start with, but when it was you losing the game to tickles, Peter didn't mind. Less competition, right? But once the tables were turned and he lost a round, then suddenly tickling was "major cheating" and "totally unfair!" So, naturally, now there was a "no touching" rule during the game.

Another rule that needed to be added later was that Yondu couldn't gibberish talk his way to a win. It just gave him too much of an unfair advantage over you and Kraglin, who would crack up very quickly upon being face to face with a deadpan Yondu talking to you in pure nonsense. Peter was the only one of you three not really effected by it, as he found it more annoying than anything else.

Of course, Yondu tried to use his status as captain to veto this rule, but after a vote of 3-1 against the gibberish, he finally relented, stating that, "Aw, fine! I don't need to do that to win anyway!"

However, this didn't stop him from slipping a little in from time to time, always claiming he "forgot."

Sure, Yondu. Sure.

That was pretty much the main rules. The rest were more just guidelines. Like, smiling was allowed, as it didn't count as laughing, but too sharp of an exhale out your nose while smiling could be considered a laugh. Stuff like that.

Today happened to be one of those days where a job had run long, or rather, the trip did.

The job actually went fairly smoothly, to Yondu's surprise. However, when it was all said and done and it was time to leave, the ship wouldn't start.

Luckily, Yondu knew a guy who could fix the problem (just something minor with the fuel intake, but at the same time not something that Yondu could fix without replacing a part he didn't have and certain tools he didn't bring with him.) Only problem was the guy couldn't get the part in until the morning.

So you were all stuck there. Until morning. On a patch of the planet that wasn't within reasonable walking distance of anything fun. Plus it was raining, so you were all more or less confined to the ship for the evening.

Great.

So that's why Peter proposed a game of You Laugh You Lose.

At first Yondu didn't want to, being grumpy about being stranded for the night over such a minor fix and all, but Kraglin managed to convince him in hopes it would lift his spirits.

Now, playing with four people was a little different than one on one. With two people you'd sit facing your opponent and take turns trying to make the other laugh. When starting with four you all sat around the table, each person taking a turn in attempts to get any of the other three to laugh. If someone cracks, regardless of who made them laugh, they're out, and can act as referees, or mildly help crack the others if they choose. Also, instead of the just first to lose owing everyone a round a drinks, all three losers would owe a round, pretty much ensuring the winner 3 free drinks the next time they went out.

Peter sat directly in front of you at the small table, with Yondu to your left and Kraglin sitting directly in front of him. The four of you took a second to fully compose yourselves, making your faces as expressionless as possible, and then Peter started.

He stared you dead in the eye. "Why do bees hum?" he asked, waiting a moment, more for comedic timing than an actual answer, as was how many of the jokes told in the game went. When no one spoke up he said, "Because they don't know the words."

You exhaled slowly through your nose and shook your head, the known sign for, "That the best you got?"

Kraglin's turn now. He took a different approach. He crossed his eyes and in a deadpan voice said, "Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper?"

Yondu raised an eyebrow, but shook his head when Kraglin continued, "Never mind, it's tearable." Peter made the universal noise for having heard a bad joke.

Your turn. "What did the A'askavariian say after a bad night out?"

"What?" asked Kraglin.

"Wouldn't know. You should ask Peter."

Peter made a scandalized noise. "One time!"

You saw Yondu's mouth twitch, but he quickly recovered. Kraglin took a deep breath and exhaled to keep it together.

Yondu's turn. He told another joke at Peter's expense, and actually made himself crack a smile when Peter protested again. You and Kraglin fought back grins as Peter took his turn.

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?"

The three of you shake your heads, though in Yondu and Kraglin's case you were sure it was more because they didn't know who Beethoven was. This was then confirmed by Kraglin asking, "Who's that?"

Peter didn't answer the question, instead letting out a, "Ba-na-NA-NA!"

Peter said this so suddenly and loudly that even Yondu jerked his head back in startled surprise, as did Kraglin, but Kraglin also had to stop himself from barking out a startled laugh. You, however, had to try much harder to keep yourself from laughing. It wasn't even that good of a joke, but his delivery had you biting your tongue to keep it together. Yondu didn't get the joke, but assumed it likely would have been real funny on Terra as he watched you try to steady your breathing just as Kraglin took his turn.

"Ya know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? ... The taste."

That one received a collective groan and a look of disgust from you and Peter. Yondu looked almost impressed as he shook his head.

It was your turn again. "I once watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was... riveting." You wiggled your eyebrows on the punchline, but only received a mock-disappointed stare from the others at your awful pun.

Instead of a joke, Yondu decided on his next turn to tell a story. "One time we were on a job on Krylor," he began, "and a pretty lil' miss thing caught Peter's eye..."

Peter's eyes widened. He had a bad feeling about which story Yondu was about to tell. "Yondu, don't." he warned flatly.

Yondu only grinned and ignored him "He goes sauntering up to her, trying to be all smooth like.."

"Yondu, seriously." Peter warned again. Again, Yondu ignored him. By now you and Kraglin were already grinning from Peter's reaction alone.

"But the boy ain't watchin' where he's goin', he slips on an empty soda can and falls flat on his face right in front of her. But that's not the best part-"

"I will seriously kill you, ya blue dick!" Peter was getting so red and flustered you had to bite your tongue, as did Kraglin who's nostrils where flaring with the effort.

"It had rained that mornin', and he had been just unlucky enough to land on a puddle, and when he stood up it looked like he'd gone and done pissed himself. I don't think I need to say he didn't wind up gettin' the girl."

That broke Kraglin. He snorted a laugh and Yondu clapped his hands together, shouting, "Gotcha! Yer out!"

Kraglin groaned out a, "I don't know why those stories always get me!" but sat back grinning anyways as Peter buried his scarlet face in his hands whining, "So uncool!"

Peter composed himself and glared at Yondu. "Alright. What about that time you accidentally switched the intercom on while listening to that Brittany Spears music from Terra?"

Yondu just stared at him stonily, no hint of emotion, refusing to dignify the story with a response, although you almost thought you could see his face slightly darken. Kraglin, even though he was out, pretended to be very interested in the table and after an awkward beat you decided to take your turn, because there's no way you'd let yourself laugh at Yondu's music choices if you knew what was good for you.

"SO- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now." you say in an attempt to bring the game back to jokes lest you be the next one they decide to dredge up an embarrassing story about.

Yondu turned his attention to you. "Ya know, I think the toilet has anger issues," he said. You gave him a confused look and he continued, "Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its shit."

You fight a smile. Peter does the same despite himself still being cranky about Yondu's previous story. Kraglin, however, openly giggles at the joke.

Peter quickly steadies his breathing and says, "There were once two guys flying a ship in dead space. One turns to his buddy and says: 'Damn, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.' His friend replies: 'In space no one can, here use cream.'"

You raised an eyebrow in confusion momentarily before throwing your head back with a groan as you got the joke. "That's a terrible joke!" you say, allowing yourself to grin.

"But you wanna laugh, don't you?" Peter teased.

You playfully glare at him and take your turn instead of answering. "Which is heavier, 200 lbs of feathers, or 200 lbs of bricks?"

Now Yondu raised an eyebrow. "They'd weigh the same, kid."

You try not to grin as you shake your head. "Nah. It's the feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

Yondu propped his elbow on the table and half-hid his grin behind his hand as he nodded his head in approval, before being mildly startled by the sound of a laugh escaping Peter's gritted teeth. Yondu joyfully slapped the table and pointed at Peter. "Yer out too, boy!"

"Aw, dammit!" Peter cried out, but he wasn't angry anymore. He followed Kraglin's lead and relaxed in his chair knowing he was now able to laugh freely at any corny jokes that came.

Yondu smirks at you. "And then there were two."

Crap. You had really been hoping you wouldn't need to square up against him alone. He was really good at this game, and rarely broke. You, however, always had to fight super hard against turning into a giggly little mess, and usually lost. There was just something about his ability to deliver the jokes with a completely deadpan or stern face that always broke you, but this time you were going to try your best to avoid that.

"I was kidnapped by mimes once." he said, "They did unspeakable things to me."

You inhaled deeply, and let it out slowly, shaking your head as you did so and giving a look that said 'Damn you.' "What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?" you begin, continuing after a beat, "The amateur thief says, 'Give me all your money!' The professional thief says, 'Sign here please.'"

Yondu nodded his head thoughtfully. "That's actually pretty accurate. Not sure that's even a joke..." he grinned, almost taunting you at the inability to draw a laugh from him. His turn now. "Two burglars are robbin' a liquor store. One turns to the other an' asks, 'Is this whiskey?' The other replies, “Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank.” Of course, this last line was delivered with a clean slate of emotion, your weakness.

Fuck.

You had to turn your head away from him as you fought to keep your breathing in check, your lips pressed together, threatening to betray you.

"Ay Ay! No looking away you coward!" Peter laughed, prompting you to face him instead. You flipped him off, your grin finally splitting your face.

"There it is! Come on, you know ya wanna laugh." Yondu teased, grinning at how your nostrils flared when you turned back to glare at him. An unconvincing glare, but it was the best you could manage.

After a couple deep breaths with your hands balled into fists you thought you had calmed down enough to take your turn. "I yelled “COW!” at a woman on a bike once. She flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow..." You raised your hands and shrugged your shoulders in mock exasperation. "I tried!"

Peter laughed while Kraglin and Yondu just shared an amused glance.

"Ya know, I might've actually found that funny... if I knew what a cow was." Yondu taunted, grinning as your shoulders fell in realization.

That made Peter snort, probably for no other reason than he now just had a case of the giggles. But the look on your face was probably part of it. His snort in turn made you grin, his laughter contagious.

This gave Yondu an idea. Grinning evilly he reached over to poke Peter in the side, making the younger man jerk almost violently away with a giggle. Kraglin chuckled as Peter protested, "Hey! You know that's cheating!"

"Nah, you're out, boy. There ain't no rule that says I can't use it on someone that's outta the game." Yondu argued playfully, throwing a look at Kraglin who took the hint and poked Peter from the other side.

"Hey!" Peter whined, the pitiful sound making you cover your mouth to hide your widening grin.

Kraglin stood so he could tickle Peter properly, seeing your amusement at his predicament, and you clenched your jaw as streams of your friend's laughter mixed with uncharacteristically high pitched, "No!"s and "Please!"s poured from his mouth before he managed to escape Kraglin's grip and hop away from the table, clutching his sides and catching his breath. Just in time too, because you were worried that might've actually broken you if Peter hadn't stopped his girly ticklish squeals.

Yondu must've realized this too because he snapped his fingers in mock frustration, and conceded that it was your turn again. In truth he was glad Peter got away as well. The plan had almost backfired on him, nearly having made him laugh at the sight as well.

You had to restart your joke twice, each time having to stop yourself from accidentally laughing so you wouldn't lose. Eventually you finally got out, "Guy with a gun enters a bar... He cries out angrily: 'Who the fuck had sex with my wife?'... A voice was heard in the background, "You don’t have enough bullets mate!”

Yondu grinned, looking down at the table before nodding. "I like that one. It's good." However, he didn't laugh, just went straight into his next joke. "Nurse hands a man his newborn and says 'I’m sorry, but your wife didn’t make it.' He hands it back, saying, 'Well give me the one my wife made.'"

Your eyes went wide. "Yondu!" you scold. "That's terrible!"

"Don't give me that! I can see ya fighting not to laugh."

It was true. As much as the joke was bad, you couldn't help it. There's nothing that makes someone want to laugh more than knowing you can't laugh. Everything's funnier when you can't laugh. You roll your eyes and deliver your next joke. "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? ... It got stuck in a crack."

Peter cracked up at that, moving to sit back down with a warning glance at Kraglin, who held up his hands as a sign that he wasn't going to tickle him again. Kraglin then shook his head with a wide grin as he watched Yondu run his tongue over his teeth and look down as he tried to suppress a smile.

Yondu inhaled. "Damn. Ya almost got me."

You grinned wide and bit your tongue. You almost got yourself.

"Ya wanna hear a joke 'bout construction?"

You let out a dramatic sigh. "You're gonna tell it anyway, might as well."

"I'm still workin' on it."

You smack your hand on your thigh and jerk your head to the side as your breath hitched. "Fuck you!" you say, a wide grin plastered to your face.

Now Peter and Kraglin were laughing at yours and Yondu's reactions more than anything else.

"Ya wanna tap out now? There's no shame if ya do." Yondu teased.

"Fuck you." you say again. "What did the plumber say to the singer?" You cursed yourself for not being able to come up with a better joke, but delivered the punch-line anyway. "Nice pipes."

Yondu didn't even crack a smile a that, not that you blamed him. He asked, "What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?"

"I don-"

"TIMING!" Yondu shouted so suddenly that you jerked back and a startled laugh finally broke free from your throat, and once it was out it was like a dam had collapsed- you couldn't hold back the torrent of giggles that had built up for so long.

"Dude! You can't just yell stuff out like that!" you scold, still giggling as you held a hand to your heart, "You scared me!"

"Made ya laugh though, that's what counts." he grinned. He stood up from the table and stretched. "Looks like I win." He ruffled your hair and you swatted him away playfully.

"One of these days I'll get you!" you say.

"Then why don't ya put your money where your mouth is," Kraglin laughed, Peter nodding with him, saying, "Yeah, you two face off again. Right now. Loser pays for everyone's drinks for the night next time we go out."

Still giggly you glance from Peter and Kraglin to a smug looking Yondu standing and grinning at you with his arms crossed.

With a giggly sigh you bow your head and concede. "I can't. I'm not ready."

Yondu lets out a chuckle and pulls you in to give you a noogie. "That's what I thought."

[technogeekmituna]

ROTT SPOILERS

Man, that ending really just ruined my emotional state, and I've been in this weird mood of "That didn't happen, right?" to "DreamWorks really can't handle series ending movies, huh" to "Jim wouldn't give up the amulet like that without a plan" to "I'm bitterly happy it concluded, but I'm so frustrated that I have a headache because that ending leads to a complete loss of everything they learned and accomplished"

I dont understand the writing. I saw Guillermo credited as a writer, and I'm wondering if the directors are to blame then. Cause while the plot was pretty cohesive, it felt like some stuff was rushed or kinda like brushed over so everything could keep pace together. Like, after the first act of the movie everything started to feel a little disjointed, and then, like, I feel, like, the time traveling element is a bit... nonsensical. We already established what would happen if Jim decided not to take the amulet. Draag took his place and the Eternal Night happened and the world essentially ended, because Jim needed to become the Trollhunter.

Like, I can't understand the logic why Jim would let go of everything he said was meant for him and lead to him, it was all purposeful because he was meant to be the Trollhunter. He died for that realization, literally and figuratively (in the mental state to become more.)

You can't-- The writers can't just expect that ending to make any sense when Jim is the only person to remember anything but he reset everything to EPISODE ONE.

And also, why and how did everyone just assume Jim meant he would go back to prevent everything by going back to the beginning instead of, like, a couple days prior or a year prior or something

What does him going back to the beginning, giving Toby the responsibilities of the amulet-- Actually, hold on, what does Toby have now that he didn't at the beginning of the series now that time got retconned after a hard fought good ending that got restarted? Everything got a fresh start soo.... whatever Toby acquired or learned or accomplished in his character arc the first time around doesn't exist. Not to mention what does the amulet see in Toby now?!

The amulet wouldn't choose Toby just because Jim told him to take the canal. Jim doesn't have that authority. The amulet would have found a way back to Jim or something. Nothing against Toby, but, like, I don't think he would have the fortitude or capabilities to endure what was required of Jim to become the Trollhunter.

Nothing would play out the same. Everything is different standing at the divergence of Toby hearing the amulet. It's automatically a doomed timeline, lmao. I'm sorry, but??

I hate what happened with Nomura. That was really uncool how they took her out. Like, I get how they wrote her death and I guess that reads fine, but it was not executed well. It was too quick, too sudden, unworthy. Just poor.

I don't think Strickler needed to sacrifice himself because it was for nothing anyway. I mean to be fucking fair, what did they think highly explosive human made bombs were going to do against an ancient wizard wielding a giant titan of ice?? It was to be expected that it wouldn't work. Yes, yes, they were doing all that they could, but after all they'd encountered with magic and shit you would think they'd be a little smarter about their choices. It was just unnecessary. And while I did cry, especially because I felt bad for Jim and his mom, I have to ask what the fuck was that with his dad? Why did Barbara bring that up for it to go nowhere? No insight, no plot push forward, no revelations, just the same we've been told before and a "We don't give up no matter what" line.

I loved the fight with the two titans. It was good and well executed and hard-hitting. Nira died and her death was for a reason, a purpose.

Toby's death was impactful and sad, and he did stay by Jim to the end. It was for a purpose and it written well to work.

But Trollhunters have never had a good relationship with handling character deaths, imo. They're too fast to move on or the pacing sucks or it's like out of nowhere and done and now we stew with that death. Like, they hit emotionally, but more so because we loved those characters, not really because they died

I absolutely hate retconning deaths. It's a psych out. It ruins the mood. It makes it pointless. It pads out time. It's exhausting unless handled right and with a purpose.

The ROTT ending was baaaad. To be clear, Jim starting completely over was questionable and confusing and skeptical, but what made it baaaad was him giving Toby the amulet. I need context. I need an explanation. Why? What's the difference now? What will change? Will anything change? What's the new outcome??

Like, if they had used the last couple of minutes to breeze by everything again to catch us back up to the retconned ending to show what would happen with Toby being the new Trollhunter, then I might not be as sour and salty and bitter and other nasty flavors of mood.

But you can't tell me everything will play exactly as it did before. Absolutely not. Character arcs lost. Character development undone. Character relationships will be different. Big, impactful choices will differ or not exist at all or have vastly different outcomes. Nothing will be the same, and nothing will be better for this.

I just. Don't. Understand. I know some things were cut, but I don't see how those things would make the writing for the ending better unless things cut were explicitly on the ending and we're missing severe context for Jim's decision.

Sigh. Whatever. I'm gonna fucking pout and try to be 76% content with what we got.

[dorkylittleweirdo]

the lesbian himbo solidarity post

okay so. basically this dude named max was in my anatomy class and we sat next to each other for the whole year so we had No Choice but to vibe

~

so he’s a Large football jock and i’m smol. we were both seniors tho and there were only three seniors in that class so we bonded over that. so he looks,, really scary tbh. like. ya know. the Exact type of person who would bully you and call you slurs. so i was like “oh god oh god oh god” every class bc i was like “this is it, this is the day i Die by his hand”

~

the first time we really vibed was when i came from culinary one friday bc i had culinary right before anatomy. and i had Cookies. a lot of them. and i had them in a little brown paper bag sitting right in the corner of my desk just bc like why not. cue max rolling up to class, throwing his stuff down and coming up Right Next To Me and Intensely eyeing the bag before going “hey jc, whatcha got there”. and i went “...cookies from my culinary class” and he just “👀👀” so i go “do you,, do you want one?”.  g r a b s  the bag while yelling “HELL YEAH” and really excitedly just eats a cookie and i just go “you can,, you can just take the bag if you want”. he obviously took the bag. we were Bros from that day on

~

i was Notorious for being the Class Nerd bc i loved anatomy and i had over 100% in the class. he was Not as into anatomy and just wanted to vibe and i feel that bc i had a class like that too, so i just gave him my notes and warm up answers to copy bc i’m Like That. we had like,, a system in place, so he would tell jokes or just say random shit and i’d kinda laugh and vibe while taking notes

~

one time i was kinda tired and staring off into space and he rolled up to class and goes “jcccc why are you saaaad :((” and i was like “i,, i’m not???” and he was like super confident that i was Going Through It and was like “you can’t lie to me, i already saw that sad face” i’m like “you mean my Normal Face???”. but so while i was taking notes that day, he leaned over and drew a lil happy face on my packet, so i looked over and smiled at him. aND NOT EVEN A MINUTE LATER, he leans back over and turns it into a dick. and i go “b r o  i gotta turn this shit in i’m gonna get in trouble?????” and he Panicked on my behalf, Stood Up in his seat,  Y E L L S  to the teacher “SIR, I DREW A  M A L E  G E N I T A L I A  ON JC’S NOTES, IT’S NOT HER FAULT”. teacher just Looks over at us, blinks, goes back to his lecture. my face is Red, max turns to me,  w i n k s, and goes “i gochu”

~

so my group Abandoned Me one day for a lab bc neither of them were there and i rolled up to the teacher like “k i’ll be Stabbing A Brain alone today” and my teacher’s like “but??? you need to Poke A Brain With A Group” and i go “but i have None Friends and my group mates aren’t here”. so max heard this whole interaction go down and is like “jc i Cannot Believe, you’re gonna group with us”. drags me over to some other people who sit near us that i anxiously vibe with, who had apparently been struggling to stab the labels into the brain for like seven minutes before i rolled up. max goes “okay guys jc’s in our group”. everyone’s hype. i labeled it, filled out the sheet, let everyone copy it, and all of us vibed for like half an hour

~

he was struggling to label to bones in the body for our warm up. two minutes in he goes “damn i know like,, four of these. jc how many do you know”, looks over at my worksheet, his eyes pop out of his damn skull. “JC ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS”. holds up my worksheet that’s completely filled out, points aggressively at it while looking at our teacher, “ARE YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT???”

~

straight up asked if i was a mom one time bc he said i give off “mom vibes”. his response to me not wanting kids was “really??? i want like six”. appreciated me saying “oh, well i want a career” a little too much bc he couldn’t stop laughing

~

a regular occurrence was me finishing a worksheet really fast and standing to turn it in, then max going “sit your ass back down, i needa see that” followed by “bro i appreciate you actually letting me copy your shit but Please write neater”. his handwriting was worse than mine and he could read my writing but he likes to Complain

~

another Regular Occurrence was me finishing a test in about five minutes followed by him yelling “JC ARE YOU  F U C K I N G  KIDDING ME”

~

i’d bring food from culinary a lot and he’d just go “👀” and i would just give it to him and he’d be so excited and go “jc you’re the best” while proceeding to shove a cupcake down his face or whatever else it was i brought while  M O A N I N G

~

he asked me one time why i’m so nervous around him, and he was probably expecting me to say some shit like “oh nooo i’m not i’m just Shy tm” but i Instantly responded with “bc you look like you’re gonna call me a slur in the 7/11″ and he was so genuinely upset and he goes “noooo jc D: i’m not a baseball boy” and i Died

~

some dude smacked him on the back of his head and he goes “OW MY-” looks at me, “hey jc, what’s the back of the head called again?” and i go “the occipital” and he’s like “great, thanks”, turns around again to the other dude, “MY  O C C I P I T A L”

~

“jc have you ever been depressed” “max i have depression” “sick, you should listen to this band”

~

he slowly tried to put something on my desk and i was still adjusting to “okay not everyone is gonna hit me” and thought he was trying to do like a fistbump or something. and he goes “oh no i wasn’t-” and i’m like “oKaY yEaH iT’S fiNe”, he puts whatever lil eraser on my desk then goes “NO NO, GIVE ME SOME JC” and fistbumped me but it still Haunts Me bc he Was Not Trying To Do That

~

“i’m gonna go as a cop for halloween” “...okay max” “all i have to do is wear a wifebeater shirt” “i-” “because. because ya know. cops beat their wives”

~

asked what kind of music i listen to once, and i went “uh,, it depends” he goes “what are you listening to now??” aND I HAD TO GO “um,, bruises and bitemarks” and he screeched bc whatever he was expecting from the shy quiet girl who sits next to him, it was Not That

~

so i wasn’t sure how to like,, come out but i have a bunch of gay pins on my backpack so i didn’t know if he knew or not. but then one time he just starts asking the people around him if they would kiss/date someone of the same gender. so i go “i mean,, yeah” and he goes “wait really” and i was Scared tm bc oh god here it comes. i go “yeah” he goes “full gay or like bi” and i was like “full,, full gay. i’m a lesbian” and he’s like “BROOOO THAT’S SICK :D” and he was so genuinely excited that i like girls

~

ever since he found out that i’m a lesbian, he would move his desk reeeeaaally close to mine to show me pictures of girls and be like “hey hey what do you think of her”, trying to invite me to parties so he could set me up with someone, attempting to be my wingman

~

he constantly shoved one of his earbuds into my ear so i could bop to his music with him. set his phone on my desk a few times so i could choose something and i go “oh no, i have garbage taste in music” and he goes “well i don’t, that’s why you’re choosing from my playlist” and i just Sat there like “wow okay but also that’s valid”. he shockingly had a few songs on there that i listen to, so we vibed to those. he listened to my playlists a couple times and he’d be like “most of these are either depressing, horny, or gay, and that sums you up pretty well” and i was Offended but he’s right

~

“hey jc, what’s the bone that sounds like my name” “...maxilla???” “fuck yeah, there’s a bone named after me”

~

asked me if i ever had a girlfriend before and i was like “n o  :((((” and he’s like “on god bro, you gonna get you some pussy”

~

every time he’d see me out of class, he point at me and wave really aggressively and be like “HI JC :D” and i’d kinda wave back really shyly while watching him tell whoever he was with that we were bros. after a couple times, i asked him next class why he waved at me and he’s like “why wouldn’t i??” and i go “um. bc you’re pretty popular and well liked and nobody knows i exist and i’m pretty uncool????” and he deadass is like “J C  NOO YOU’RE REALLY COOL WYM PEOPLE LIKE YOU” and that’s how i found out that people actually knew me bc a bunch of the football guys i talked to in anatomy would point me out when they saw me bc they liked vibing with me so that was A Time. made sense why random people would like,, nod at me while walking by

~

i brought cookies for my teachers and friends on valentine’s day and i gave max a couple and i was like “hey i’m giving these to all my friends so like here” and he just “jc you consider us friends???” and i thought he was gonna laugh at me and i just went “ah,,, yeah” and he was So Excited

[jinxthequeergirl]

Lipgloss

Steve Harrington x Hopper! Reader

Summary: the reader has always been steves cooler half but he notices that you start making little changes.

Warning: swearing, none, this is kinda wack it didn't come out the way I wanted it to

~~~~~

You where in fact your fathers daughter in every way possible, tough as nails, quick witted the whole nine yards. And everyone knew it.

The only issue was Steve Harrington, he was your best friend but lately it seemed like he was the only one who could make your cool deminor falter. And everyone seemed to notice it.

You watched Will attempt to follow your steps and skate down the street before turing to stared at Steve as he and dustin made the large order from the ice cream truck. He glanced back at you with a goofy smile making you chuckle.

"Y/n!" Your head snapped forward just in time to see will plow you down on your skate board. "Ah...shit..." You groaned.

"Are you guys alright!?" Steve asked running over to you with the rest of the kids. Dustin helped pull will up as steve helped you up. "Yea...yea I'm fine." You chuckled.

"Sorry kid." You ruffled Will's hair. "It's alright, I'm fine. I'm gonna go again." He said excitedly. Taking the skateboard from the ground and running back to the starting point with Mike and lucas by his side.

"You sure you're fine?" Steve asked again looking you over. "I'm...I'm fine harrington, are you fine?" You asked him nervously. "Yea, yea I think I'm ok." You nodded dusting your hands off on your shorts. "Good, good...oh uh hey wheres my choco Taco?" You asked attempting to save yourself from the conversation.

He looked back over to the Ice cream truck. The man inside was looking impatiently back as the diffrent ice cream bars sat on the counter.

"On it's way." He said jogging back over.

"What was that!?" Max asked coming up beside you with El at her side.

"What was what?" You asked walking to sit on the curb. "With steve! I've never seen you act like that!" Max laughed. You furrowed your brows. "I wasn't acting any way..." You trailed off when Even El gave you a look that said you where acting diffrent.

"C'mon You where totally starting at Steve! And then what was that conversation!?"

"Do you like steve?" El asked cutting in on Max.

You laughed. Both because hearing it outloud made it sound absurd but also out of nervousness.

"Do I..Do I like steve? Me? Liking Steve!?" Max crossed her arms. "I've seen you around boys...it usually ends up with them scared of you...not the other way around."

You opened your mouth but instantly closed it as steve came back over. "Ladies, one orange dreamcicle, A cotton candy swirl and a choco taco." He said handing the ice cream bar to you.

"Thank you kind sir." You winced as the words left your mouth, he laughed and sat next to you digging into his own Ice cream order.

Max and El chuckled at you as you struggled to act normal next to him. "Hey! Y/n?"

"Yea?" You croaked out. "Is it alright if I sleep over at your place tonight?"

You cleared your throat and took your eyes from steve to look at her. "Yea...of course." You smiled lightly.

You winced at the loud crash and steve yelling through the phone. "Sorry about that..." You laughed pouring another bag of candy into a bowl. "No need to apologize...boys will be boys right?"

You could hear him give a light hearted chuckle through the phine making your heart do a little jump in your chest. "How are the girls?" He asked. "Oh you know..doing girl things...painting nails, talking about boys...usual girl stuff."

"Ooh I wouldn't have happened to have been brought up in your boy talk would I?" He asked cheekily. Your face grew hot and you cleared your throat trying to keep cool.

"Why on earth would we talk about you?" You joked. "Ow I'm hurt."

You looked up hearing the girls squeel with joy from the room over. "Ok well sounds like the girls are having fun without me."

"Ok. Hey, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon after I get off of work."

"Of course, Night Harrington."

"Night." You hung up the phone and grabbed the tray of snacks.

"Ladies! Snacks are served!" You announced as you pushed El's bedroom door open. They both looked up from their magazines and ran over to it as you set it down.

"And then Later I picked up some movies from Family video-"

"We had a better Idea!" Max said. "What?" There was knock at the door that El quickly got up to answer as Max sat you down.

"Well me and El wanted to help you with your steve problem."

You shook your head. "I don't have a steve problem." Max rolled her eyes at you.

"Yea sure."

"I heard we where having a girls night, and you needed help with Harrington!" Robin said as she stepped into the bed room.

"Oh god...They got you two involved!?" You asked looking at Nancy and Robin.

Nancy shrugged. "I didn't have anything better to do..."

"Me neither." Robin added hoisting herself ontop of the dresser.

You looked between the four girls and fell back into the bed throwing a pillow over your face and groaning.

"I..i dunno about this guys..."

"We'll just start with small things...like lip gloss!" Max said As you sat infront of the four of them

"Yea! And then we can work up to the bigger stuff!" Nancy said taking the lip gloss from Max.

Their big idea was to give you a make over, 'round out your sharp edges' Nancy had said.

"C'mon guys don't you think Steve should like Y/n for y/n? And if he doesn't then maybe he's not the one for her?" Everyone looked at Robin.

"Actually...actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea." You spoke up. Robin held her hands out to you. "See!"

"C'mon just give this a try, then we can try Robins way." Nancy said holding your chin in her hand to apply the lipgloss. And El held up the mirror to you so you could see yourself.

You frowned slightly at yourself and looked at your glittery lips. "This is kinda stupid." You mumbled wiping it off. "It's not! We can even do your hair a little bit!" Nancy said trying to convince you to go through with it. Max flipped through a magazine and landed on a page.

"We should go with this! Subtle but with a pop!"

You all glanced at the page then at yourself through the mirror. "Have at me if you must."

Robin laughed at the sight eating a handful of popcorn. "You are very helpful." You said to her as El helped do your hair. "Stay still." El said from behind you.

"I just think, maybe you should let things work out on there own..." She said along with pointing at a shirt that Max held up from your closet.

"Ok, ok leave your hair like this tonight...and tomorrow morning take it out and it should look like that." Nancy said pointing to the magazine picture.

You bit your lip and nodded. Thinking about what Robin was saying.

"Ok do this." You followed max's lip motion after you put the lipgloss she had picked last night as you stood outside the mall.

"Ok, ok! You look good! Like yourself but...better."

"Thank you, really." You smiled sarcastically at her.

"You know what I meant!" El rounded the corner quickly. "He's coming!" She said grabbing your wrist and pulling you forward.

"Be yourself! Be flirty!" Max yelled as they basically flung you around the corner into steve.

"Oh hey!"

"Sorry! Hey!" You laughed, Nervously.

"Uh hey! Since you're here do you wanna go...get...food?"

He chuckled. "Yea..I was actually Going to ask you the same!" You nodded and started walking beside him back into the Mall,smiling to yourself.

"Where the hell is steve going!?" Dustin asked coming up beside Max and El.

"A date I think." Max said.

"He was supposed to take us to The arcade!"

You walked scilently beside steve but you could feel him glancing at you.

"What?" You finally asked looking up at him.

"What?"

"Well you keep looking at me so...you must wanna say something or is there something on my face?"

"No! No! Nothing on your face, but Are...are you wearing Lipgloss?" He asked looking closer at you.

You moved from his gaze brushing your fingers under your lips.

"What? N..no!" You laughed nervously.

"It is isn't it! Your wearing something girly!" He laughed. you scowled and punched his shoulder and rubbed the stuff from your lips.

"Ow! C'mon y/n i was kidding." He said rubbing his arm. "Why are you wearing that stuff anyways? You constantly say how much you hate it. "

"It was just a stupid Idea..." You muttered the response and quickly grabbed a seat in the food court.

"No, hey c'mon! It looked good..if thats what you want to start doing I'm not gonna stop you! I'm not saying it was bad just suprising." He said sliding into the seat across from you.

"And hey for what It's worth I think it looked pretty on you, but...but I think you look good no matter what!" He said trying to cheer you up.

"Really?"

It was Steves turn to be the akward one. "Uh..ye..yea..." You smiled turning to him.

"Thanks Harrington...I think you're pretty too." You said jokingly. "Shut up." He said laughing.

You sighed. "Ok...shit..Imma be honest with you...I was wearing it because Nancy and Max thought It would give me a better chance of getting with you...Robin said to just let things happen...I should've just listened to her. " You laughed.

"Yea...really she knew what she was talking about...cause I planned on asking you out this weekend." He said almost nonchalantly.

"You..you where?" He nodded watching you amused.

"I feel kinda stupid now.."

"No! It was kinda funny to watch you be the uncool one for a change."

"Whatever...when should I be ready?" You asked.

"For?"

"Our date. Or did you already forget?"

"Oh uh Saturday like seven-ish?"

You nodded. "Ok..I'll be there."

[gleekto]

Summary: College AU/Famous!Blaine and Fanboy!Kurt - Kurt POV

Kurt really doesn’t have time to figure out the dating world between being a freshman at prestigious theatre school, LAADA,  and his active but secret blogging life in the Sing!Fandom. So what if Sing! ended last year? There are still fics to read and actors to follow. Especially the uber talented heartthrob lead, Blaine Anderson. He can act. He can sing. He can even dance. He’s gay. He’s out. And he’s only 24. Kurt is willing to twiddle his thumbs and click refresh until Blaine Anderson’s next project.

He just didn’t expect the next project to be on his roommate Rachel’s new TV show.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Even Better than the Real Thing (10/13)

Kurt drops the phone as his heart starts to race and panic takes over. He feels like he’s going to throw up. No. He doesn’t have time to throw up. He immediately signs on to tumblr and deletes his blog. Gone. But it’s too late anyways. He calls Mercedes on autopilot. 

“It’s over, Mercedes,” Kurt shakes as he says it. “He knows.”

“What? Who knows what?” But he can practically see the information dawn on her as she says it. “He knows you were a fan? Shit.”

“Yes, specifically, he knows that I was LimaBlaineFan - and I say was because I just deleted.”

“Oh my god, Kurt. How did this happen? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay. And I don’t know. Or I can guess. He surprise visited me and I forgot to close my laptop screen and I must have left him in my room while I was dealing with Rachel and her oat milk,” Kurt puts the pieces together. “Fucking oat milk.”

“So he ended it on the spot?”

“No. God. He didn’t even say anything. He must have  seen something but not much, gone home and read the blog, and then texted me 24 hours later with a terse goodbye.”

“So what did he say?” Kurt sends her the text. “It’s not great,” She agrees. “But that’s not exactly closure.”

“I don’t think I get closure after what I did. Just memories of our night together and of what an idiot I am.” Kurt goes over the whole story with Mercedes - how he obviously wanted to be chill when he met Blaine, didn’t want to seem like a desperate fanboy but just a friend of Rachel’s - which he is! That wasn’t a lie. And he always made sure to give Blaine an out, not to talk too much, but Blaine kept wanting to talk and flirt and - well, as soon as he really started to believe that they were more than friendly acquaintances with a mutual friend, he stopped blogging. But it was too late by that point to say ‘Oh by the way, I was such a big fan of Sing! that I have a blog about it and your name may feature.’ But he knows it’s all an excuse. Blaine told him the first time they met that a fan is not a friend. And he didn’t heed the warning. Or tell the truth.

Mercedes listens to the story she already knows, and affirms and agrees, but unfortunately, can’t really fix a situation that can’t be fixed. Kurt spends the night staring at his ceiling and the next day moping around the house, tired and cranky. He binges Gossip Girl and eats popcorn and texts Mercedes sad face emojis.

Even Rachel notices that something’s wrong when she comes in that evening.  “You’re still in pajamas?” She looks at him quizzically. “And you look like hell.”

“Thanks?”

“And I only point that out because it’s very unlike you.”

“I guess that is actually a compliment.”

“What’s wrong?” Before he thinks of what he’s going to say, Rachel interrupts again. “Wait. Blaine was a wreck today - bags under his eyes, forgot all his lines. Just said he had a rough night. Okay, Kurt. What is going on with you two?”

“Nothing now.”

“Now?”

“It’s not working out, okay?” Rachel starts to say something again but thinks better of it.

“Okay,” She seems to clue in to the fact that he does not want to talk about it. “I’ll go out later to get you a piece of cheesecake from Henry’s.” His favourite cheesecake place. 

“Thank you,” He says sincerely. “Best therapy.”

...

After his cheesecake, which did take his mind off the mess of his life for at least 15 minutes, he moves back to his bedroom for night two of ceiling gazing, when his phone buzzes.

Blaine: So you didn’t respond.

He stares at the message, willing the right response to come to him.

Kurt: I honestly just don’t know what to say. Other than I’m sorry. I guess that’s what I should have said.

Blaine: So you are LimaBlaineFan, right?

Kurt: Guilty. Very guilty.

Blaine: Shit.

Kurt: I know we’re done - it’s my fault. You don’t need to say anything.

Kurt can’t actually bear the idea of Blaine lecturing him on honesty amidst crushing his heart.

Blaine: It is your fault. But we should talk.

Kurt: We should?

Blaine: Meet me at the Coffee Bean tomorrow at 3, okay?

Kurt: Let me check my calendar.

Blaine: Cheeky.

Kurt knows he made him smile despite himself.

Kurt: I’ll be there.

...

Kurt gets to the Coffee Bean half an hour early so he can be sure to be there first. He buys Blaine his favourite medium drip and adds a vanilla almond biscotti. 

“These for me?” Blaine says as he sits down across from Kurt.

“The least I could do.” Blaine rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he accepts the coffee and cookie. “I’m really sorry. I should have told you.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Blaine says and pauses, sipping his coffee. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Kurt starts.

Blaine shrugs. “Go for it.”

“Why did you ask me to meet you for coffee? I mean, after finding out the guy you just -” Kurt gets red despite himself.

“Got naked with,” Blaine fills in.

“Yes - was actually a fan following your career-”

“And my body parts,” Blaine adds and Kurt gets much redder.

“I mean, I think that gives you license to fully ghost me without another word.”

“True,” Blaine nods his head. “But for one, you are my co-star’s roommate-”

“At least that’s true,” Kurt sighs at himself.

“Also, I’m not an asshole.”

“But I probably gave you reason to think that I am one.”

“No - which is the real reason I wanted to talk. The timeline.” Kurt looks at him confused. “Your blog on tumblr. It seems like once we met, you only blogged a few times. And by the time I was interested in you, you stopped posting.”

Kurt nods, giving himself an internal high five for at least one decent choice. “I did. Right after we-”

“Made out all night?” Blaine has got to stop putting these images back into his head in the midst of a break up conversation.

“No. It was before that. After you  - you know we talked in my room-”

Blaine remembers, smiling.  “When I got you to tell me you had never been kissed so I could tell you that you should be.”

“You’re so calculating,” Kurt shakes his head.

Blaine raises his hands in defense. “My intentions were pure, I promise. Besides, I could say the same about you.”

“I wasn’t calculating! I wasn’t even trying to be your friend, let alone your, you know. I am definitely not sophisticated enough to try to deceive you to get you into bed, god. I was just trying to seem reasonably normal and cool around my roommate’s new co-star who by complete coincidence was my celebrity crush of the last four years. It was way too uncool to reveal my alter ego to you.”

Blaine smiles, probably despite himself. “Can I tell you some of my favourites?”

“Oh god.”

It seems Blaine spent the better part of his evening delving deeply into the fandom mind of LimaBlaineFan, because he had screencapped some of Kurt’s oldest, and cringiest posts.

-Why isn’t he shirtless in that scene? The other guys are shirtless. Roy is hot. And no, I don’t think he’s embarrassed. 

“Well, you are right about that. I’m not camera shy.” 

-Thank God Blaine Anderson has a better fashion sense than Roy. Roy and his loose jeans and sweatpants - how would I even catch a glimpse? But did you see Blaine on that red carpet? Maroon suit, pants so tight. His ass is perfection.

-Blaine’s interview for Pride was perfection. He says we might even catch him out on the dance floors, dancing with some hotties. Maybe then he’ll be shirtless.

And of course, Blaine appreciated Kurt’s hard work on one of his most recent posts - The privileges and pitfalls of playing straight for an out gay actor: Quotes from Blaine Anderson’s interviews.

Kurt lets Blaine read each one, sitting silent in embarrassment and biting his lip through it all. It’s the least he deserves. Just as Blaine finishes his list and Kurt is about to go into profuse apology once again,  they’re interrupted.

A young woman who looks about seventeen scurries quickly up to their table. “Hi. I’m sorry. I know you’re busy. I’m just such a huge fan of Sing! And now That’s So Rachel-” - If that was a fan test, she passed. She knows both shows. That’s a minimum. “Can I get a pic with you?”

“Of course. Thank you so much for watching.” Blaine takes her phone like a pro and angles it so he and the girl are both in it, Kurt trying to avoid being the photobomb in the background. Blaine turns back to him as the girl leaves. 

“I guess that would’ve been me a few months ago.”

“For you, I might have even given a hug. Or the coveted kiss on the cheek. I always try to connect with the gay guy fans.”

“You succeeded?” Kurt tries and Blaine laughs. At least the energy between them is better. Much better. Like he won’t have to hide in a corner if he’s ever at an event with Blaine again or anything like that.

“I guess I did.”

“The first time I met you, you told me that a fan is not a friend.”

“I did.”

“Would you have asked me out if you had known from the beginning?”

“Probably not. Against the rules.”

“That’s what I thought.” There’s an awkward pause - Kurt’s not sure there’s anything else to say and apparently Blaine agrees because he switches the topic to the latest script and his excitement about working with Patti Lupone - who apparently, even gets to slap him. By the time they leave the café, Kurt feels relieved. He’s survived his first break up. Not that they were really together. He doesn’t have the energy to grieve the loss of kissing, and touching, and ironically still not having seen Blaine shirtless (pantless, yes). He’s sure it will hit him like a ton of bricks after he finally gets a real night of sleep, and then he will have Rachel prepare the cheesecake. Again. 

He crawls into bed early that night, grateful the shock and awful adrenaline of the last two days has finally left his body. His phone buzzes as he closes his light and he plans to text Mercedes back to tell her he’ll update her tomorrow. But it’s not Mercedes.

Blaine: Some rules are made to be broken.

[kinnoth]

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR MEGATHREAD

-really doubt i'm gonna be able to finish this movie so we'll just see where i get to

- we already know how i feel about loki and thor, we don't need to revisit this

- ok but if i were going to revisit this, i mean come on, who wants to talk about "hela draws her power from asgard, same as you" cos i wanna talk about that

like what if that's the reason thor, god of thunder, king to a civilisation of warriors, was unable to fend off like, 4 dudes and a big purple dinosaur? the royal family of asgard draws its power from asgard, and without it, they are weak, they are mortal. maybe that's why heimdall is unable to just, you know, bifrost everybody off the fucking ship the minute it comes under attack. maybe that's why loki can't fucking conjure up a swarm of fucking microscopic knives to fillet the invaders from the inside out. MAYBE THAT'S WHY LOKI TRIES TO KILL THANOS WITH A FUCKING DAGGER. BECAUSE TAKE AWAY HIS POWER, TAKE AWAY HIS GODHOOD, WHAT DOES HE HAVE LEFT OTHER THAN HIS WILE, HIS TRICKS AND HIS BROTHER

WHAT IF IN SAVING THE UNIVERSE AND DESTROYING ASGARD, THEY'VE LOST EVERYTHING INCLUDING WHAT MAKES THEM GODS

somebody talk about this

- etc etc what if the reason loki is unable to attack the purple dinosaur with magic is because when he tackled thor earlier, he used whatever magic he had left to spare in order to heal him

checks out cos thor goes from flat on his face to swinging his fists in the space of like 30 seconds and the only thing to happen to him in between is said bit about loki tackling him

- why does heimdall save hulk? i mean, i could understand it if he were trying to aim the bifrost at thor and somebody somehow knocked off his aim and he accidentally saves hulk, but like, we've established that heimdall's loyalty is to the royal seat of asgard upon whom sits thor's mighty ass. thor who, in this scene, has just been incapacitated by a metal eggshell(?) and is at the mercy of their assailants. given heimdall's priorities, it is baffling to the point of inconceivability that he would preferentially save fucking HULK over his own king.

- if this next scene isn't the guardians of the galaxy coming across thor clutching loki's dead fucking body floating through space then i don't know why any of us are even here

- "he sent loki! the attack on new york was thanos!" makes no sense? like, if loki's scepter had the mind stone in it, which we established it did in the last movie when we broke it open to retrieve vision, then.....why didn't thanos just....take the mind stone in the first place? cos rock collecting is and has always been his goal?

what, do you think that just because you assert a thing makes us forget all the shit that happened before?

- i.....am actually with tony stark. why don't they just destroy the stones they have so that thanos can't get to them? oh, you made a promise? well promises change and circumstances change! you tell him tony! you tell that stupid fucker --

oh my god i'm gonna be ill

- i think the only person whose ego can match tony stark's is probably a neurosurgeon so 👍 i guess

-i love how we immediately went back to the "so dark can't see shit" aesthetic after ragnorak because ensuring that one's audience can SEE what is HAPPENING IN YOUR MOVIE is apparently for radical directors like taika waititi

- cannot believe that tony stark staring at captain america's phone number is being played with the same emotional intensity as thor losing his soulmate entire people

- honestly how many times is the mcu gonna invoke 9/11 imagery til someone calls them out for being terrorists

- lmao i know i said this before but peter's spidey senses tingling AFTER the giant alien anus has already started sucking up new york and it is right outside his window is fucking hilarious. that's just called using your eyeballs peter

- "friday notify first responders about the giant alien anus sucking up new york" lol like the first thing somebody did when the alien anus showed up wasn't to fucking call 911 GREAT IDEA TONY

- still can't believe that they let failed neurosurgeon dr strange do more magic than god of tricks and sorcery loki lol

- i know i rag on dr strange a lot about the fact that he's a neurosurgeon it's just that he sucks.

as a neurosurgeon eyy.

- i hate that peter parker has to be here!!!!! leave him alone!!!!!

- tony stark should not be allowed within 100 feet of children or minorities

- it is very weird to me that steve "brooklyn" rogers has an area code from georgia

- since when was hela a half-sister? ODIN'S DAUGHTER AND THOR'S BLOODED SIBLINGS OR BUST YOU FUCKING COWARDS

- i am very disappointed that thor is going to go get another weapon after we spent the whole last movie talking about how he is not the god of hammers

- i just need thor to have much more PTSD than he has right now. fucking hulk has ptsd. maybe they're saving the ptsd for later. one can only hope.

- i am glad that they are letting him be cleverer though

- THEY ARE LETTING VISION DATE A TEENAGER WHY

GOD. FUCKING GROSS.

- wait when did vision turn into a white man again? did i miss that movie?

- i am disappointed that vision the computer techno robot apparently has a penis. like what a stupid limitation to give your computer techno robot, gender. 🙄

- i think that the mass destruction of infrastructure and architecture in the MCU is because of the pg13 no blood limitation that disney has set? like there's no way to show destruction to the body, so one may only show the exponential destruction to one's surroundings. like imagine how much more dramatic intensity you could wring out of a regular fight scene would be if people were allowed to bleed?

- cannot believe that a computer techno robot and a witch are having a punch up with the bad guys. of all people to fight with something not their fists, it's these two

- wanda has no enhanced strength or durability? she's a regular teenager who's a bit witchy. the first time she got thrown through a glass door should have shattered her vertebrae. again i don't understand why we insist that everybody must have the same powers and capabilities when it's clear they don't. think about how much more interesting it would be if some avengers were more fragile than others and had to be given accommodations as such

- IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT FUCKING BLACK WIDOW (regular human), CAPTAIN AMERICA (enhanced human), AND FALCON (regular human with wings) CAN DEFEAT THE CHILDREN OF THANOS WHEN THOR COULDN'T UNLESS THOR (god of fucking thunder carved of steel and stone) WAS NERFED

- still don't understand how we'll lend aliens afro features but not afro hair, like, seriously? you're gonna dream up green aliens with gills who look like black people but imagining them with black hair is a step too far?

- the gap of commentary in this liveblog is simply because i do not care at all for the galaxy defenders

- "earth just lost her best defender" who? who does captain america consider earth's best defender? it's not thor; he doesn't know thor's presumed dead. it's not tony; he doesn't know tony's on an alien anus. who else has died so far?

- love how exhausted bucky looks. have always loved how exhausted bucky looks. love bucky.

- i forgot that tony was with peter parker. god i hate that.

- "i'm peter btw"

"dr strange"

"oh you're using the made up names then. i'm spider man"

ok that was cute, but peter's cute, we knew that already

- i want to fling both strange and stark into space and i'm having a hard time deciding which one to push first

- "you went to bed hungry, scraping for scraps" oohhhh thanos is just anti-poor people, he would literally rather poor people be dead than struggle, i get it nowww

this is on brand for mcu

- oh my god thanos gets 2/6 stones by torturing siblings in front of other siblings, seriously? you couldn't come up with 6 different ways to find his stupid rocks you had to reuse one twice?

- which one of thor's friends was stabbed through the heart....? fandral??

- "if i don't get my vengeance what more could i lose" more like what else is there eh? what else is there for a king of no people but their vengeance?

- CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GAVE HIM BACK AN EYEBALL JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THOR RAGNORAK JUST SAY SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING

VEHICLE FOR AUTHORITARIANISM, NOTHING IS ALLOWED TO CHANGE, FUCK YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I GOT MINE

FUCK

- i do enjoy that thor is now science fiction rather than fantasy, i don't think anybody knew what to do with fantasy cos fantasy is again, ultimately about conservatism and the status quo. so i do like that we're embracing the new and boundless for whatever that's worth.

- marvel is a cesspool of toxic masculinity. at no point are characters allowed to actually feel anything because weakness is uncool i guess and therefore unmanful. like thor lost ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. fucking ALL of them. he watched his brother die in order to save him. he is not allowed a single fucking response of mourning. i don't care if he's pushing it back because revenge or whatever, this is the sort of grief that rules you, which will bring all your load bearing structures down to heel, and they let him do nothing; he does not even rage. perfect control. smooth witticisms. why. why aren't we allowed to see his sadness?

- yo i can't believe red skull is a scifi villain now lol space nazis for real

- OH MY GOD THEY WASHED BUCKY'S WIG AND IT LOOKS SO BAD

- michael b jordan was right btw wakanda is complicit in africa's exploitation

- i do LIKE black panther i guess in the way you technically like that cousin you met once when you were like 9 and never saw again?

i like how we have here in wakanda the sears tower (chicago), the batman building (nashville), and the gherkin (london)

- ok but like, presumably not a death cult super technologically advanced wakandans who are deffo made of human flesh and human blood still arm their people with spears

i mean unless wakanda is also a death cult

why is this chicks entire fucking face cgi'd she looks like a fucking cut scene video game character

- oh ok they have LASER spears, ok

so then why did they give bucky a fucking gun

- what is bucky supposed to be able to contribute here exactly, like fucking, again, he's spycraft isn't he? he's a one man, dead of night, operation go loud and then immediately silent kinda operation. why do they have him on the front lines of a fucking lock-step formation battle??

- "it will be the noblest ending in history" WHAT, FIRST COUNTRY TO EVER BE OVERUN BY ALIEN JACKALS??

- stormbreaker is just leviathan axe, somebody's said this already right

- omfg i'm so glad they're finally acknowledging that thor is OP as fuck and does not belong amongst the fucking squabbles of earth

-"titan was like most planets, too many mouths to feed not enough to go around, so i proposed a plan, dispassionate to rich and poor alike" JUST SAY YOU HATE POOR PEOPLE MCU. YOU CANNOT HAVE RICH AND POOR, YOU CANNOT HAVE DISPARITY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SOME WITH TOO MUCH AND OTHERS WITH NOT ENOUGH AND CALL IT EXTINCTION. THAT IS NOT A QUESTION OF OVERTAXED RESOURCES THAT IS A QUESTION OF RESOURCE FUCKING MANAGEMENT. IT IS AN ARTIFICIAL CRISIS IF THERE EXISTS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST HOARDING IT THAT'S WHEN YOU KILL THOSE PEOPLE AND TAKE THEIR SHARE. KILLING HALF THE PEOPLE IS THE KIND OF FUCKING SOLUTION TO INEQUALITY THAT RICH PEOPLE COME UP WITH

GOD. ITS LIKE NONE OF YOU EVER READ

-you've got the big fucking boss in an ambush AND YOU ATTACK HIM WITH A MAGIC SWORD STEVEN STRANGE?????

THIS FRANCHISE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO UTILISE MAGIC USERS FUCKING HELL

- when will somebody please utilise ironman like the one man artillery he fucking is WHY IS HE FIGHTING WITH HIS STUPID FISTS HE IS LITERALLY ONE CONTINUOUS CARPET BOMB JUST USE HIM THAT WAY

cut of his arm CUT OFF HIS ARM YOU BLOODLESS SPINELESS USELESS FUCKING CUNTS . this is a manufactured crisis, KIND OF LIKE THE ONES THANOS LIKES I GUESS LOL

- dr strange could have very easily prevented or stopped quill from punching thanos but he didn't cos i guess even the movie forgets steven strange exists sometimes

- i like that the shield around wakanda has the same weakness as a poorly constructed chicken coop -- you always build into the ground a couple feet to stop the diggers man, come on, what is this, your first energy shield?

- oh disgusting, a girl boss moment. whatever you're all fascists.

- nobody adores martial might like fascists do fucking change my mind

- " avengers: not one person in this fucking cast is able to stomach ANY AMOUNT of personal sacrifice" more like

- "why did you give away the time stone?" "we are in the endgame" THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER THAT'S A FUCKING MOVIE TEASER FUCK YOU

- why didn't strange just trap thanos in a timeloop again? we've already established that is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with planetary annihilation. IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE NOBODY ON THIS WRITING STAFF KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH MAGIC

- THOR OP BLIZZARD PLS NERF

-CAPTAIN MARVEL SERIOUSLY THAT'S WHO YOU'RE GONNA SEND YOUR LAST PAGE TO JESUS FUCKING DISGUSTING

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

When the Sun Melts the Ice

Written for my bff @junghelioseok, I finally wrote your Hobi fic!

Pairing:  Jung Hoseok X Reader

Genre: Angst,  strangers to friends, unrequited love, college au,  fake girlfriend! Reader, surprise ending?

Summary: You don’t think much of it when the Sunshine boy of Seoul University asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend to get his ex back. After all Soomin hates your guts.

Words: 4431

Warnings: Unedited

You don’t think much of it when one of the hottest boys on campus asks you to be his fake girlfriend. You don’t know much about Jung Hoseok aside from common knowledge and the college rumors floating around, but you do know Soo-min- his ex,very well. The dark haired beauty was your sworn enemy having tormented you since the early days of elementary school. So it only makes sense in Hoseok’s desperate need to make Soo-min jealous that he turns to the one person she despises.

“What’s in it for me?” You ask, unimpressed by his dimple smile. Many girls on campus would kill just to be called Jung Hoseok’s girlfriend, even if temporarily. 

You’re not like other girls though. The idea of being anyone’s significant other pretend or not fills you with dread. Love, attraction, sex, you don’t react normally to those things-mainly because you saw no point behind them. 

Hoseok’s smile falters. “I can hook you up with one of my fraternity brothers if they interest you more? But that would have to wait-”

“Does it look like I’m interested in your fraternity brothers?” You question, voice void of all emotions.

     A shiver runs up Hoseok’s spine as he’s reminded why your college nickname is Ice Queen. Suddenly he wonders if you can even pull off pretending to be his girlfriend. You aren’t exactly known for your warm loving personality… 

    “Well, what is it that you want?” he sighs.

He doesn’t know what to expect. Money would be the obvious answer since none of his brothers interest you. Completing your college assignments for the rest of the year is also a likely possibility (though he assumes you’ll request Namjoon the genius of Beta-Tau-Sigma to do it, instead of him). However he is completely unprepared for the request that slips out of your mouth.

   “I want to learn how to make friends.”

He blinks. “What?”

  To say he expects you to be joking is an understatement, but the frown marring your face says otherwise. His eyes widen. “Shit, you’re serious.”

   “Why not? You’re sociable. I mean you’re fucking Jung Hoseok, Sunshine boy of BTS. Everyone loves you.” You point out, finger prodding his chest aggressively. “If anyone can teach me how to make friends, it’s you.”

   “Alright fine, I’ll teach you how to make friends. Just stop poking me.”  Hoseok promises, hands raised in surrender. “But in turn you have to help make Soo-min jealous.”

    You eyed him suspiciously.  For a second Hoseok wonders if you’re going to back out. “Deal.” you finally reply. “So what now? We spit and shake hands or is this more of a blood pact thing?”

   To both your surprises Hoseok actually chortles. “How about we write up a contract? Blood pacts sound kinda scary.”

   Later that day Hoseok and you draw up a contract. He promises to teach you everything from small talk, first impressions and social norms in exchange for three months of servitude and prostitution  fake dating. Luckily Hoseok outlines everything that comes with the territory of dating, which in all honesty minus the few chick-flicks you’ve seen you are completely clueless of. In the end really all you have to do is hang around Hoseok, talk to him, laugh at his jokes, and occasionally display some form of physical affection. So far nothing vaguely alarming to  you.

 “Do I have to wear your hoodie? I can get my own.” you ask, picking at the fabric.

On your third week of dating Hoseok throws one of his hoodies over your head, claiming it too cold for you to walk around in short sleeves. Admittedly the fabric is comfier than anything you own and the warmth of Hoseok’s body still permeates it despite a solid hour passing. Part of you wants to keep it, but the rising goosebumps on Hoseok’s skin makes you rethink. Why didn’t Hoseok just ask for it back if he’s cold?  

   “Your dorm is a good four blocks away. You’ll become an icicle before you ever get there.” Hoseok laughs.

    You raise an eyebrow. “I think you’re the one becoming an icicle. You’re practically shivering Hoseok!”

   “Aish…you’re making me sound so uncool, Jagiya.” He bemoans playfully.

     You roll your eyes and pinch his arm. “Seriously Hoseok. Take the hoodie. I am perfectly fine in this weather. They call me Ice Queen after all.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Ice Queen or not, what type of man would I be if I let a friend freeze to death?”

   His words strike an unfamiliar feeling in you. It’s a strange feeling one that can only be described as a pleasantly warm ache. It thrills you as much as it scares you. Later you would pinpoint this moment as this beginning out it all, when your heart first started to melt. For now though you shove the feeling back with the reminder that this was all pretend.

    The real trouble begins when Hoseok introduces you to his ‘brothers’ a week later.’  The members of Beta-Tau-Sigma are undoubtedly the hottest students on campus, but what really scares you is the mere idea of making small talk. “Are you sure this is a smart idea? I mean we’ve just gone over the basics of small talk last week.”  you say clinging to Hoseok’s sleeve.

    The cherry haired boy laughs unable to deny your cuteness. If someone told him, he’d grow attached to Seoul University’s very own Ice Queen, Hoseok wouldn’t believe them. Hell, when he first approached you one month ago, Hoseok was low-key scared of you. You were just so unsociable, glaring at everyone who came your way, giving people the cold shoulder, and never speaking more than necessary. He whole-heartedly believed Soo-min’s claims of you being sociopath.

       “I want to learn how to make friends.” 

Your words echo in his head. A smile makes its way to his face at the memory. No sociopath would want such a thing. You were just a lonely girl whose awkwardness and shyness came off as apathy. “You’ll be fine, (Y/N). The guys are nice, I promise.” Hoseok assures. “Besides I’ll be here the whole time.”

    Your lips press together in what Hoseok recognizes as your version of a smile. The sight warms Hoseok’s heart. It may not be a full smile, but it isn’t your normal frown either. Hoseok hopes one day it can turn into a real bright smile. Moreover he hopes to see it when it does.

   “Guys! I’m back and I brought (Y/N) with me.” Hoseok calls as you guys enter the fraternity.

  You shy even closer to him practically hiding behind him. You are too cute, nothing like the cold-hearted (Y/N) (L/N) everyone feared. “Are they even awake?”

   “It’s mid-afternoon of course we’re awake.” Yoongi snorts coolly, appearing from around the corner. The two of you jump bringing a gummy smile to his face. “So you are Hoseok’s fake girlfriend? Definitely not the type of girl I imagined he’d go for-even if pretend.”

   Hoseok frowns.  “Yoongi-” 

“I don’t know you look like grumpy cat and he is friends with you sooo..” You snap back, reverting to your usual defensive nature.

   “(Y/N), remember what we talked about?” Hoseok pleads.

  However his pleas are ignored as Yoongi’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Grumpy cat?”

     “Meow.” You mock sassily.

Tension fills the room. Hoseok swear he can see lightning flash between you too. He’s about ready to have a panic attack when Yoongi snorts. His heart stops as his white haired friend doubled over laughing. “Meow? Did you really just meow?”

    “Maybe.” you shrug, pink dusting your cheeks.

     “I like her, Hobi. Keep her around.” 

   The excitement of his approval brings a fluttering to your heart. You’re so happy you miss Hoseok’s response. In hindsight you know it is such a silly thing to be proud of. After all you weren’t friends or anything with Yoongi, but it is a start. Something Hoseok seem to recognize, because he engulf into a big bear hug. He praises you, not once mentioning your poor etiquette or how you didn’t follow any of his teachings. The warm feeling from last week returns this time planting itself right into your thawed heart.

By the sixth week you’re so deeply ingrained in Hoseok’s life, he can’t remember a day you weren’t there. His mornings now consist of idle chats while walking you to class and the occasional coffee stop. Afternoon involve study trips to the library, followed by lunch either at the café or his fraternity; you are shockingly a good chef, something Hoseok never would’ve guessed. Nights tend to vary in activity, however almost always you two were together. Not day seemed to pass where you weren’t glued to his side and vice versa.  Even his brothers took a liking to you, which is unusual given their distaste for Soo-min.

Either way if Hoseok hadn’t already saw you as a friend, he definitely did now. It’s only ironic that during such a growth in your guys’ relationship Soo-min finally takes notice. 

“You’re pathetic, you know that Hobi?” Soo-min corners him one day outside of class. A sneer paints her cute little mouth as her nose twitches in obvious disgust. Hoseok swallows hard unable to stop his heart from beating against his chest. Even with that nasty look on her face, she’s still adorable. “I mean seriously? Hanging out with that loser (Y/N) to make me jealous? As if that would ever work, you know she’s a freak right?”

The harsh words against you causes him to frown. He never really understood Soo-min’s hatred of you. All she ever said was you were an emotionless freak and several other mean accusations excusing her dislike of you. Nothing ever substantial. “Stop it, Soo-min. You’re being mean.” 

Soo-min’s jaw drops. “Excuse me?! You’re not really defending that-”

    “Don’t. I love you Soo-min, but I won’t have you bad talking (Y/N).” Hoseok replies firmly. “Now if you have nothing nice to say I suggest you leave.”

    An indignant cry escapes Soo-min as she stomps off like a child. Hoseok releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. His head spins with confusion and frustration. Confusion at his sudden shift from how willing he was to drop Soo-min for you. Frustrated at Soo-min’s hatred of you, why couldn’t she see how truly vulnerable you were? He only thank god you weren’t around to hear Soo-min. He could imagine you’d pull back into that shell of yours from her words.

    “Well, she still doesn’t like me. Guess that’s a plus for you.”

 Hoseok leaped at the sound of your monotone voice.  The hairs on the back of his rising as he turned to find you lounging a few feet behind him. Your lips twitch in amusement by his fright. “Jagiya, don’t do that. You know I don’t like it when you sneak up on me.” he breathes out.

     You raise an eyebrow shooting him a look. “Jagiya? Aren’t you milking it a bit? Soo-min is nowhere to be seen, and I doubt her little lackeys are watching.”

  Another frown finds its way to his face. He rubs the back of his head, guilt eating him inside. “How much of that did you hear?”

  “Just the usual sound of her calling me a loser and what not.” You shrug. “She was rather tame if you ask me-sorry, I shouldn’t be talking bad about your girlfriend.”

   Hoseok shakes his head. “No, I’m the one who should apologize. Soo-min’s not normally like that. She’s kind, loving, a good person-”

   You hold a hand up to halt him. “You don’t need to explain Soo-min to me. There’s a lot of good, kind, loving people who hate me. I’m used to it. I mean I’m the Ice Queen after all, what does it matter if someone is mean to me-”

    “IT SHOULD MATTER!!” Hoseok snaps, startling you. This is the first time you ever seen Hoseok mad. It’s alarming. You didn’t even know he could get mad. The boy was the epitome of sunshine and rainbows for God’s sake. 

    He let out a weary sigh seeming to calm down. “It should matter to you. No one should treat you like this…I can’t stand it. I especially can’t stand why they do it. They don’t even know you. They don’t even try to know you.”

   A smile graces your face for the first time ever, but it’s not the smile Hoseok longs to see. It’s a bitter smile full of what he knows to be self-depreciation and hatred. “Could you honestly say you’d be any different if not for Soo-min breaking up with you?”

    No, he can’t and it kills him.

On the two month anniversary of your fake relationship Hoseok takes you out to a nice restaurant. It’s a little overkill you think given the hostility Soo-min’s begun to display since her and Hoseok’s confrontation two weeks ago, but you say nothing. Instead you wear the nicest dress you can find and do your best to look enviable for Hoseok’s sake. Your heart aches at the thought that soon the contract between you two will expire, meaning the end of your relationship and friendship. Just the thought alone cause pain to shoot through your being.  The seed planted by Hoseok’s kindness has finally started to take root within you, and while you are yet to recognize the emotion it brings, you know it’s nothing good.

“Are you sure this isn’t a little too much? I get that we’re putting on a show for Soo-min, but wouldn’t a café do just as well?” You suggest as Hoseok leads you into the brightly lit restaurant. It’s like something seen on the travel channel or a movie. Its ceilings hung with chandeliers and white silk cloths draped from one end to the other. Servers are dressed in crisp black uniforms setting the tables with multiple silverware. It’s all too much.

You are (Y/N) (L/N), Ice Queen/misfit of Seoul University. You aren’t meant for such treatment. “Aish…like I’d let my girlfriend fake or not go to a café for our anniversary. Nope, sorry Jagiya tonight we dine like royalty.” Hoseok winks.

Heat rushes to your face. Warming your inside as well. Another root spreads off the seed within you. “Hoseok…” you whine. “Really, I’m not meant for this treatment. I’m meant to have frozen pizza and the occasional takeout. Not rich people food.”

Hoseok snorts shaking his head. “Rich people food? You’re sounding awfully judging there. I’m not that rich.”

You’re about to argue otherwise, seeing how his net-worth is twelve million compared to your negative two dollars, but you stop yourself. “Spending this much money isn’t worth it for a fake relationship.”

“No, it’s not.” Hoseok agrees. A serious expression appearing on his face as he stares straight into your eyes. “But it is worth it for a friend.”

The smile reappears on his face as he drags you straight to a table hidden in back. “Come on (Y/N), think of it as a celebration for your success. In the last two month you’ve managed to befriend all my brothers and a few of their girlfriends. If that’s not cause to celebrate I don’t know what is.”

You frown. “Then why don’t we celebrate with them?”

  “Really (Y/N)? Can’t you just let me treat you to something nice?” Hoseok pleads.

     Your eyes narrow in on him untrusting. It reminds Hoseok of two months ago when this thing started. All the glares and narrowed glances you gave him shook Hoseok to the core. He spent the whole time hopping you wouldn’t murder him as the contract was drafted. Never once did he consider you might be as cautious of him as he was you.

      “Fine, but I’m getting the cheapest thing.” you decide, lifting the menu up.

   Hoseok watches entertained as you stare at the menu in hard concentration. Your brow wrinkles, nose twitching irritated as you look over the words. You look so much like an angry bunny, he can’t not to smile. “Problem?”

    You glare at him over the menu. “You know damn well it’s in Japanese, Jung Hoseok.”

 His smile splits into a grin, he wags a finger at you. “Now now (Y/N) remember what we talked about not directing anger at others.”

   “Shove it, Sunshine boy.” you reply, pouting in your chair.

 Hoseok laughs. He can’t remember why he ever thought you were anything but cute. Meanwhile you are trying to do everything in your power to stop the unpleasant roots of affection clambering beneath your skin.

     A week later you find yourself hunched over the toilet sick to your stomach. As fall rolls into winter, flu season hits the college hard. Nearly half of the population is absent from class due to puking their guts out and you’re no exception. So you text Hoseok letting him know not to bother picking you today since you are definitely not leaving anytime soon.

    He replies with a simple text telling you to get better, and you spend the rest of the day curled on the couch watching Friends. At some point you must’ve dozed off, because you awaken to a cool towel being placed on your forehead. Your eyes shoot open to see a grim Hoseok hovering anxiously over you. “Hey Jagiya, didn’t mean to startle you.” he murmurs softly.

   “Again with the Jagiya? You know we’re the only ones here right?’ you croak, bringing a smile to his face.

    “Sorry. I guess it’s just kinda becoming habit you know?”

Yes, you do know and you don’t like it. Jagiya is a nickname lovers give each other, while it was appropriate to use when feigning a relationship it shouldn’t be used so thoughtlessly outside that time frame. 

    “Whatever.” You mutter, ignoring the sharp pain in your ribs. “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have stuff to do?”

     Hoseok pouts. “I’m taking care of you aren’t I? Doesn’t that count as doing something?”

You blush as yet again warmth floods your body. It’s been years since someone’s taken care of you. When you were little all you had to depend on was your Aunt and Uncle, they were never too fond of you. Hoseok being here for you…it’s almost too sweet to handle. 

“I should have never given you a key.” You mutter, burying yourself under the blankets.

        Thankfully Hoseok laughs not turned off by your rudeness. “Well it’s too late now. I’m not giving it up without a fight.”

     You roll your eyes. “Don’t you have a frat house or something to go invade? I’m sure they’ll be happy to have your sunny ass.”

    “Maybe.” Hoseok hums. “But I’m not returning until I’m sure you’re alright. The flu is a nasty thing. It kills you know?”

    It kills…your mind flashes back to the contents of your vomit earlier. A hollow feeling fills you as your chest tightens. The flu killed, but maybe not as bad the affection blossoming within you for Hoseok.

    Barely a week passes by when you decide to take the bull by its horn. The contract is on its last legs. While your end of the bargain is more than fulfilled, Hoseok’s still is nowhere near complete. Since that day he stood up for you, Soo-min had been sniffing around more, but it wasn’t enough. Time was running out in more than one way and you’d be damned if Hoseok didn’t get the happiness he deserves by the end of it. 

    Which is why you decide to make the ultimate move one day after class…a wide mouth sloppy kiss pressed against Hoseok’s unsuspecting lips. He jolts not shocked by your brazen behavior. Physical affection had been apart of the contract, but until now it consisted solely of hand holding, hugs, and the occasional peck of forehead. For you to throw yourself at him like this…well you’re surprised Hoseok has enough sense to kiss you back.

    Unsurprisingly Hoseok is well versed in the art of kissing. His tongue gently entangling itself with yours as he guides you through it. He’s so good at it you almost believe Hoseok’s kissing you because he wants to and not to make Soo-min jealous. The thought causes your heart to leap, but reality brings a choking feeling to you. Reluctantly you pull away before the sensation gets too overwhelming.

    Hoseok silently stares at you, tongue running across his lips. “That was…”

       “Unexpected, I know, sorry.” You says. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Soo-min glaring daggers at you. Undoubtedly this little stunt will book you meeting with her, but you could care less. “But if it’s any consolation, I think it did the trick. Don’t look now but Soo-min seems rather jealous.”

    “Soo-min?” Hoseok asks, eyeing immediately going towards the girl. He lets out a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Right, Soo-min.”

     You pat his shoulder. “Give it a day or two, but I promise she’ll come running back.”

        Hoseok nods wordlessly his eyes never leaving Soo-min. Your lips twitch upwards into a small smile, the suffocating pain growing as your love for him blooms. You lick your lips tasting the foreboding flavor of iron. “I guess this is it for us, huh Sunshine boy?”

       You press one last kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for everything. I really enjoyed being your friend while it lasted.”

      Hoseok snaps out of his trance. “While it lasted? (Y/N) wait-”

  However it’s too late. You’ve already disappeared into the throng of students nowhere to be seen. Hoseok’s heart squeeze at memory of your sad smile. For the last few weeks all he wanted was to see you smile, but never like that. Silently Hoseok wonders if he caused that hurt smile of yours. If he did, Hoseok doesn’t think he can forgive himself.

    Two days later you find yourself surrounded by Soo-min and her minions. It is nothing new, seeing how your antagonistic relationship goes back a good decade and a half. However this time there is more than just mutual dislike between you two. “You know Hoseok’s only dating you to get me back right? He would never look at you otherwise.” Soo-min taunts, a wicked grin splitting across her face.

    She wants to make you suffer-to hurt you in the worst way possible. It’s something Soo-min’s always dreamt of, only to get disappointed by your apathy towards her. This time is no different.

 “You’re probably right.” You agree. “But then again, you would think he’d realize it’s not working and give up, if that’s the case. I mean you’re obviously not going back to him, yet Hoseok’s still dating me. Hmmm …I wonder…”

     Her face turns red causing you more joy than necessary. Normally you didn’t antagonize Soo-min like this, but you have a part to play. Hoseok wants her back, and you would do anything to help, even if it meant putting yourself in the line of fire. 

“You disgusting freak! Stay away from my boyfriend!” Soo-min shrieks.

 A sharp slap rings through the air as pain spreads across your cheek. It takes you a second to realize what had happened. Your cheek stings something awfully fierce, and you know without a doubt it’ll be swollen later. Yet none of this matters, because Soo-min said the magic words. The words that would bring Hoseok happiness.

   “What the fuck are you doing?!” a familiar voice yells.

Your head whips over to see Yoongi marching over. Anger radiates off him as Yoongi pushes his way in front of you, his back creating a barrier between you and your tormentors. Confusion fills the air as everyone, but Yoongi are surprised by his actions. Soo-min steps forward looking as innocent as can be. “Yoongi-oppa, what are you doing here?”

   “I was walking to class, when I saw you attack (Y/N).” Yoongi grits. 

  Soo-min actually has the gall to play dumb. “Attack? I would never attack anyone, oppa. You must be seeing things. We’re just having a friendly chat with (Y/N) weren’t we girls?”

   “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s rain, Soo-min. I know what I saw and when Hobi finds out, you can kiss that stupid little hold you have over him goodbye-”

    “Stop it, Yoongi. Please.” 

Yoongi stills at your words. His eyes wide with disbelief. “No (Y/N), you can’t let her get away with this. Hoseok wouldn’t want-”

   Your eyes screw shut not wanting to hear his words. Your chest constricts with a pain you’ve grown all too accustomed to. “Please Oppa, just take me home.”

    Yoongi give you a conflicted look, but cedes nonetheless. He wraps an arm around your shoulder glaring at the girls as he leads you back home. You don’t even bother opening your eyes. You know Soo-min’s grinning victoriously. 

   Night falls and your cheek is now the size of a golf ball. Yoongi sits besides you pressing a cold pack to it. You’re eternally grateful for the blonde, even if you wished he’d leave. His presence only reminds you of how soon everything will end. “I don’t see why you refuse to tell Hoseok this?  Soo-min or not, he won’t put up with someone treating his friends like this.” Yoongi says for the millionth time.

   You shrug, curling into yourself. “What does it matter? It all be over soon anyway. Soo-min will undoubtedly return to Hoseok like he wanted, and our friendship will be over.. It’ll be like none of this ever happened.”

   “That’s bullshit.” Yoongi gritted. “And you know it. Hobi isn’t one to abandon his friends like that.”

    “Maybe.” You murmur, eyes flickering to the jars on your shelf. Each one of them is filled to the brim with white orchid petals. The sight makes you laugh genuinely laugh. Of all the flowers out there it had to be something so rare and exotic. A flower to represent the fragility and abnormality of the love blossomed from the Ice Queen for a ray of sunshine. 

     The taste of iron coats your tongue as your chest gave another excruciating squeeze. Swallowing back the blood, bile and petals threatening to escape you turn towards the blonde haired boy. Shooting him a soft smile you ask. “Hey Yoongi..do you know what Hanahaki disease is?”

——————————————————————————————————–

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 ) is a disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for or memory of their love also disappear.

[womenhoodlooniness]

Mean Girls: Private School Edition

During the infamous quarantined lockdown of March 2020, not only did my procrastination habits worsened due to me having to lose all sense of time but it made me reflect amidst all the silence.

This might sound selfishly cliche but if it was not for the whole world shut down, I would have not been able to come to terms relating to my self-worth.

Let's time travel back to my high school days: 2015-2019.

Yes, I'm getting old.

So I went to an all-girls, private high school in Burbank, IL. At first, I thought I was going to hate it. All of my other friends were going to public schools within the Chicagoland area and here I am, the only person going to a school that nobody has ever even heard of.

As if looking like the most big-headed whitest chick at my school didn't make me feel like an outcast enough.

To be blunt, it did make me feel uncool. But I understood my parents wanted me to have a good education that was not at a sleazy neighborhood school.

Even if it did mean taking my voice out of it completely.

Long story short, I ended up liking the school. It felt like a crackhouse made for girls. Meaning, it really was a place for us girls to wind down, get comfortable, and not having to worry about any boys. It was a place of femme empowerment but also endearing chaos.

However, there is always a price to everything beloved.

Last year, when the peaks of quarantined lockdown were at an all-time high, I allowed myself to do a lot of retrospect thinking.

A lot of this thinking was rooted in how my experiences at the private high school were actually fueled by naiveness and all things non-endearing. This retrospect made me question a current friendship I was undergoing at the time in quarantine, questioning if it was really meant to be.

I was friends with two girls at the time. Let's call them X and Z. Mostly because it sounds cool.

I was friends with X for the longest. We remained friends even after the private high school shut down and had to part ways during our sophomore-junior year. I thought she was cool. We had similar music tastes, taught me things I did not know and just overall looked at her as a big sister. Mind you, I was too naive to even think of the other side of our friendship.

Z was a mutual friend that was also close friends with X. I found her cool as she did with me, but she and X were more considered as each other's best friend than all of three of us combined.

But there's a twist to it all: Z actually used to be my bully in freshman year of high school. To put it short, she bullied me because she thought I was "weird" even though I never even tried to talk to her. She would always have a way to tease and make fun of me.

At first, I would try and laugh along but after a while, it started to feel forced because it would barely hit me at times that she could not stand me. Like all bullies, she had the tendency to feel above me since apparently I was seen as a target: The weird, quiet girl.

Who would have thought?

On top of that, X would actually laugh at the "jokes" Z would use against me! Yeah, the same girl I was friends with the longest...go ahead, call me stupid now.

I even brought it up to X at a later time and her response?

"That was just my humor at the time."

Ah yes, creepily looking at my old Facebook profile pictures and laughing at them is DEFINITELY the humor to have. Even after that sketchy comment I still was friends with her for about another year or so. I would rant about her behavior more but I'll just save that for another post...

Anyways, sometimes it would feel weird to even be offended by Z's "jokes" because not only I had one but two mean girls entrapping me. I feel like I had no other choice BUT to feel okay with it. There would be times where confrontation was needed, but the attention was very intimidating to me.

The private school was such a small school so anything that goes would flow smoothly from one period to the next. The drama did spread like wildfire at that forsaken palace of gossip.

Overall with there not being a confronting witness, it really felt hard to get the motivation to stand up for myself. If anything, it helped fasten the depreciation of my self-worth. All because there was nobody to give me a smack of reality to tell me that I should not let that slide.

Also because of the naiveness that came with not realizing the meanness of those comments and the reason why they hurt.

It's even frustrating to also think back about how it would have been best for myself to be the doormat I was, no matter how weird and uncomfortable it got. I say this because Z was SO liked back in that high school. Every girl thought she was funny and cool; she was definitely on the popular scale.

So if I had brought the issue up to the school, then perhaps most definitely they would have looked into it as it did intrigue some feelings of "unsafeness" in me. Now that I think about it, I mean this with seriousness.

I say this because one time, Z called me a bitch because I would not let her copy my homework for the 5th time. And that's just one of many examples.

But as for the students? That would of most likely been the messiest. Especially since Z literally had the popular benefit of being listened to and influencing others.

From that, I should ask, who would have the most sympathy:

the preyed underdog or the praised show dog?

Fast forward to March 2020 where I was questioning the genuinity of everything to the point where I felt like it was best to not associate myself with those two girls again. For the sake of saving myself some pressure and self-depreciation.

I must admit, I mostly wanted to back up because of X's current behavior at the time instead. So this post is most likely going to be considered as a first-half as it does display a "blast from the past" theme. While the second post would be presenting more so recent events. Nevertheless, both posts are still relevantly intertwined as they are important in strengthening my points.

Also, I can not keep typing forever.

Overall, I wanted to bring some of my traumatic past up because not only it presents an aspect of internalized misogyny (again) but also portrays something bigger.

You see, I started to feel at ease at the private school because I felt like I had all the supportive relations I could have with my femme peers. In retrospect, that was lacking to a very large degree.

I did not realize it until I was in college as I gained more maturity and knowledge when dealing with other (girl) friends that were so much different than the ones I numbed myself to.

I had been exposed to a kind of respect that I never thought I would have experienced. It felt so fucking surreal. And because of that, it leads me to compare for the better and for the worse.

It helped paved the way for me to grow.

But the fact I even thought that I would have not had the same respect as Z, no matter how much I cried out of injustice, is what concerns me. How could I think that private school was so beloved with femme love when there was a huge possibility of numerous girls going against me, all because I was not on the popular spectrum?

Perhaps I am wrong. Maybe there is an alternative timeline out there involving myself getting justice served and respect granted. Despite the judgment that is forced upon me.

But this is why concepts such as internalized misogyny and girl-girl bullying need to be brought up more. All because it can plague ourselves in which can rapidly plague entire environments within spaces that are meant to bring support from one girl to another.

Also, yes, we can forgive them because most likely these bullies are going through something too in which can cause them to act aggressively to us - based off of jealousy or attention, whatever can be interpreted the best.

I actually forgive Z because I had learned that she was going through a rough time during freshman year which at times does make me speculate if her actions were based on jealousy..but let's not be bitchy narcs here.

Even with that, it still does not allow for me to succumb to being seen as some fucking fool to her. It does not favor her to make me feel like a doormat. And it definitely should not be permitted for me to feel like shit because I had no choice but to do so.

Where is the self-worth in all this? Because I need it just as much as she does.

We need to prevent further harm so we won't hurt others and most importantly, ourselves.

[davidmann95]

Superman & Lois Pilot Script Review

I’ve been reliably informed that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and indeed as my laptop and everything on it have been unusable for a couple months after a mishap, I went from ‘maybe I’ll write something on the pilot script for Superman & Lois’ to ‘as soon as I can get my hands back on that thing I’m writing something up’. I’m actually surprised none of you folks asked about it when I’ve mentioned several times that I read it; I was initially hesitant, but I’ve seen folks discussing plot details on Twitter and their reactions on here, so I guess WB isn’t making much of a thing out of it. Entire pilots have leaked before and they just rolled with it, so I suppose that isn’t surprising. Anyway, the show’s been pushed back to next year, and also the world is literally sick and metaphorically (and also a little literally) on fire, so I thought this might be fun if anyone needs a break from abject horror. 

(Speaking of the world being on fire: while trying to offer a diversion amidst said blaze, still gonna pause for the moment to add to the chorus that if opening your wallet is a thing you can do, now most especially is a time to do it. I chipped in myself to the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and even a casual look around here or Twitter will show people listing plenty of other organizations that need support.)

What I saw floating around was, if not a first draft, certainly not the final one given Elizabeth Tulloch later shared a photo of the cover for the final script crediting Lee Toland Krieger as the director rather than a TBD, but the shape of things is clearly in place. I’m going for a relative minimum of spoilers, though I’ll discuss a bit of the basic status quo the show sets up and vaguely touch on a few plot points, but if you want a simple response without risk of any story details: it’s very, very good. Clunky in the way the CW DC shows typically are, and some aspects I’m not going to be able to judge until the story plays out further, but it’s engaging, satisfying, and moreover feels like it Gets It more broadly than any other mass-media Superman adaptation to date.

The Good

* The big one, the pillar on which all else rests: this understands Lois and it really understands Clark. Lois isn’t at the center of the pilot’s arc, but she’s everything you want to see that character be - incisive, caring, and refusing to operate at less than 110% intensity with whatever she’s dealing with at any given time, the objections of others be damned. Clark meanwhile is a good-natured, good-humored dude who you can see in both the cape and the glasses even as those identities remain distinct, who’s still wrestling with his feelings of alienation and duty and how those now reflect his relationships with his children. The title characters both feel fully-formed and true to what historically tends to work best with them from day one here in ways I can’t especially say for any other movie or show they’ve starred in.

* While the suit takes a back seat for this particular episode, when Superman does show up in the opening and climax it absolutely knows how to get us to cheer for him; there’s more than one ‘hell yeah, it’s SUPERMAN, that guy’s the best!’ moment, and they pop.

* While the superheroics aren’t the biggest focus here, when they do arrive, the plan seems to be that they’ll be operating on an entirely different scale than the rest of the Arrowverse lineup. Maybe they scripted the ideal and’ll be pared-down come time for actual filming and effects work, or maybe they’re going all-out for the pilot, but the initial vision involves a massive super-rescue and a widescreen brawl that goes way, way bigger in scope than any I’m aware of on the likes of Supergirl. I heard in passing on Twitter from someone claiming to be in the know that the plan for Superman & Lois is that it’ll be fewer episodes with a higher budget, more in line with the DC Universe stuff if not exactly HBO Max ‘prestige TV’, and whether it’s true or not (I think it’s plausible, the potential ratings here are exponentially higher than anything else on the network so they’d want to put their best foot forward) they seem to be writing it as if that’s the idea.

* This balances its tones and ambitions excellently: it’s a Kent-Lane family drama, it’s Lois digging in with some investigative reporting to set up a major subplot, it’s Superman saving Metropolis and battling a powerful high-concept villain, and none of it feels like it’s banging up at awkward angles with the rest. There are a pair of throwaway lines in here so grim I can’t believe they were put in a script for a Superman TV show even if they don’t make it to air, and they in no way undermine the exhilaration once he puts on the cape or the warmth that pervades much of it. This feels as if it’s laying the groundwork for a Superman show that can tackle just about any sort of story with the character rather than planing its feet in one corner and declaring a niche, and so far it looks like it has the juice to pull it off.

* While the pilot doesn’t focus on him in the same way as the new kid, Jonathan Kent fits well enough for my tastes with the broad strokes of his personality from the comics, albeit if he had made it to 14 rather than 10 without learning about his dad being Superman. A pleasant, kinda dopey, well-meaning Superman Jr. - the biggest deviation, one I approve of, is that he can also kinda be a gleeful little shit when dealing with his brother in ways that remind you that this is very much also Lois Lane’s boy.

* We don’t know much about the season villain as of yet, but it’s an incredibly cool idea that I’m shocked that they’re going for right away, and I absolutely want to see how they play out as a character and how they’ll bounce off all the other major players.

* The way this seems to be framing itself in relation to the Superman movies and shows before it feels inspired to me: there are homages and shout-outs to and bits of conceptual scaffolding from Lois & Clark, Smallville, Donner, and more, but they’re all shown in ways that make it clear that those stories are part of his past rather than indicators of the baseline he’s currently operating off of. We get a retrospective of his and Lois’s history right off the bat with most of what you’d expect, and combined with those references the message is clear: this is a Superman who’s been through all the vague memories that you, prospective casual viewer, have of the other stuff you saw him in once upon a time, but this series begins the next phase of his life after what that general cultural impression of him to date covers. It strikes me as a good way of carrying over the goodwill of that nostalgia and iconography, while building in that this is a show with room to grow him beyond that into something more nuanced (and for that matter true to the character as the comics at their best have depicted him) than they tended towards. Where Superman Returns attempted to recapture the lightning in a bottle of an earlier vision of him in full, and Man of Steel tried to turn its back on anything that smelled of Old and Busted and Uncool entirely, perhaps this splitting of the difference - engaging with his pop culture history and visibly taking what appealed from some of those well-known takes, while also drawing a clear line in the sand between those as the past and this as the future - is what will finally engage audiences.

The Bad

* This is the sort of thing you have to roll with for a CW superhero show, and that lives and dies by the performances, but: the dialogue varies heavily. There are some really poignant moments, but elsewhere this is where it shows its early-draftiness; a decent amount is typical Whedon-poisoned quippiness or achingly blunt, and some of the ‘hey, we’re down with the kids!’ material for Jon, Jor, and Lana’s kid Sarah is outright agonizing. I suspect a lot of it will be fixed in minor edits, actor delivery, and hopefully the younger performers taking a brutal red pen to some of their material - this was written last January and the show’s now not debuting until next January, they’ve got plenty of time for cleanup - but if this sort of the thing has been a barrier to entry for you in the past with the likes of The Flash, this probably won’t be what changes your mind.

* There are a few charming shout-outs to other shows, but much moreso, Superman & Lois actually builds in a big way out of Crisis. Which is a-okay with me, except that what exactly that was is rather poorly conveyed given that lots of people will be giving this a spin with no familiarity with that. Fixable with a line or two, but important enough to be worth noting.

Have to wait and see how it plays out

* The series’ new kid, Jordan Kent, is so far promising with potential to veer badly off-course. He’s explicitly dealing with mental illness, and not on great terms with Clark at the beginning in spite of the latter’s best efforts, the notion of which I’m sure will immediately put some off. Ultimately the commonalities between father and son become clear, and he’s not written as a caricature in this opening but as a kid with some problems who’s still visibly his parents’ boy, but obviously the ball could be fumbled here in the long term.

* Lois’s dad is portrayed almost completely differently here than in the past in spite of technically still being her military dad who has some disagreements with her husband. There are some nice moments and interesting new angles but it seems possible that the groudwork is being laid for him to be Clark’s guy in the chair, and not only does he not need that he most DEFINITELY doesn’t need that to be a member of the U.S. Military, especially when one of the first and best decisions Supergirl made when introducing him was to make clear he had stopped working with the government any more than necessary years ago. Maybe it can be stretched if his dad-in-law occasionally calls him up to let him know about a new threat he’s learned about, and maybe they’ll even do something really interesting with that push-and-pull, but if Superman’s going to be even tacitly functioning as an extension of the military that’s going to be a foundational sin.

* As I was nervous about, Superman & Lois has some political flavor, but much to my delighted surprise, there’s no grossly out of touch hedge-betting in the way I understand Supergirl has gone for at times. As of the pilot, this is an explicitly leftie show, with the overarching threat of the season as established for Lois and Clark as reporters being how corporate America has stripmined towns like Smallville and manipulated blue collar workers into selling out their own best interests. Could that go wrong? Totally, there’s already an effort to establish a particular prominent right-wing asshole as capable of decency - without as of yet downplaying that he’s a genuinely shitty dude - and vague hints that some of the towns’ woes might be rooted more in Superman-type problems than Lois and Clark problems. But that they’re going for it this directly in the first place leaves me hopeful that the show won’t completely chicken out even if there’ll probably be a monster in the mix pulling a string or two; Greg Pak and Aaron Kuder’s Action Comics may justify Superman punching a cop by having him turn out to be a shadow monster so as to get past editorial, but it’s still a story about how sometimes Superman’s gotta punch a cop, and hopefully this can carry on in that spirit of using what wiggle room it has to the best of its ability.

So, so far so good. Could it end up a show with severe problems carried on the backs of Hoechlin and Tulloch’s performances? Absolutely. But thus far, the ingredients are there for all its potential problems to be either fixed, subverted, or dodged alright, and even when it surely fumbles the ball at junctures, I earnestly believe this is setting itself up to be the most fleshed-out, nuanced, engaging live-action take on these characters to date. And god willing, if so, the first real stepping stone in decades to proper rehab on Superman’s image and place in pop culture.

[meganshinsou-tm]

Crimson|Ink (m.)

↳ chapter three: lying from you

❧ genre:  tattoo-shop/hitmen au | tattoo artist/hitman kirishima

❧ fic warning: major character(s) death; happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: none

❧ chapter song: Lying From You by Linkin Park

♬crimson|ink playlist | ♧ character profiles | artist credit

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

"Who?"

Denki grit his teeth as electricity sparked from his palms, "(Y/N), you asshole! What did you say to her to make her cry!"

Kirishima's face went from amused to blank. Even if making you hate him was his end goal, he never meant to make you cry. 

Sighing, the red-head went back to cleaning up his mess from before, finally setting his tattoo machine and used utensils back on the tray. Kaminari wasn't happy with his lack of response and sent a bolt of electricity to the metal rolling tray. Kirishima was fast enough to remove his hands from the object and gave the yellow-haired male a look of disbelief.

"Dude what the fuck is your problem! You hardly even know the girl, now you want to fight for her?"

"Whether I know her or not, it's uncool to make a woman cry you moron. You've been a real dick to her ever since she stepped foot in here, for no reason! What the fuck is your problem!"

The two glared at each other and were at a stand-off. Sero and Bakugou had finally made their way to the room, both stopping at the doorway and staring at their friends who were in a fighting stance. Sero went to break everything up but the blonde held him back by the shoulder. He wanted to see how this played out, to confirm his suspicions. 

Kirishima looked over Denki's shoulder to Bakugou.

"Are you gonna let him really just start some random fight with me over some dumb girl, right here?"

Kirishima’s words only added fuel to Denki's fire and the electric male lunged at him. Kiri was taken off guard and actually tackled to the ground. Immediately Denki was using his quirk to subdue his much stronger friend. Kirishima hissed and growled as he was legitimately shocked a few times before he could harden his skin and pushed Denki off of him.

"What did you say ass-wipe," Denki sneered as he threw a punch to Kirishima's jaw.

As if a strike of luck, Kirishima had let go of his quirk the second before the incoming fist made contact with his face. Shockingly the hit rocked him on his heels, his hand went up to rub his jaw as he moved it around. Rage finally settled in his veins when Denki smirked and chuckled at him. A “you fucker,” came from his lips before he lunged at his friends waist and drove him into the ground, causing them both to slide to Sero and Bakugou's feet. Quickly, Kiri had his foe turned over on his stomach and his arms pinned behind his back, holding his face to the ground.

"I said we didn't need her around here, and we don't! You all fucking know that! Why are you suddenly letting some pretty pair of eyes make you forget what we really are huh? When I said we need someone to work here, I meant someone like us, not some random girl that can be a liability," Kirishima growled looking up from Denki and to his other friends.

A booted foot came into contact with his forehead, forcefully pushing him off of Denki. Sero bent down and helped his friend up to his feet. Bakugou smirked and walked over to Kirishima, crouching before him, both sets of red eyes burning holes into the others soul.

"You don't think I thought about that dipshit? Sure taking this job will put her in danger, but who better to protect her then us huh, and I know you'd be the first fucking one to take a bullet for her if it came down to it, wouldn't you?"

The red-heads eyes widened and he gulped. 

In the background Sero groaned at the sudden realization, Denki of course was still left behind. He quirked a yellow brow at his friend and questioned what that meant. Sero rolled his black eyes and flicked Denki's forehead. 

"He's fucking in love with her you moron."

"What? If he likes her so much then why was he being a massive dick to her," Denki replied throwing his hands up.

"I don't fucking love that brat, far from it," Kirishima growled and pushed Bakugou away so he could stand to his feet.

"Not yet at least," Bakugou chuckled and stood up.

Kirishima ignored the blonde and went to discarding the used needles and equipment from your tattoo session. He couldn't believe what was happening to him right now. Of course Bakugou would be the one to see right through him, it's been that way for years. 

The red-head may look and seem intimidating from the outside, but deep down he was a major teddy bear and believed in shit like love and finding the one. It only depressed him even more knowing that that life would probably never happen for him, not in his line of work. It was too dangerous for him to get attached and reciprocate feelings for another, to let them into his life. He already had five other people to worry about, he didn't need to add you to the list. Not after they all had failed one of their leaders already.

"Anyone have a way of getting in contact with her," Bakugou questioned, making Kirishima freeze and turn around.

Denki immediately spoke up and waved his phone in the air, "I got lil'mama's number right here!"

"Okay, how did you get her number before me or plain face over here," Bakugou questioned and snatched the phone from his hand.

Kaminari just smiled and ruffled his hair, "A good player never reveals his tricks of the trade gentlemen, I'm sorry."

Sero scoffed and slapped the back of the yellow-haired males head, causing him to yelp and glare. 

"You're no player Kami, just a dumbass."

"Thems fighting words man, wanna go?"

Sero chuckled and quickly pulled Denki under his arm in a choke hold, ruffling his hair and teasing about how he just got his ass kicked by Kirishima. Denki struggled under Sero's wonky elbow and whined to be freed.

"That's enough idiots. Denki, get ahold of (Y/N), see if she wants to grab coffee or something with you and Sero and you two get her back here ready to work," Bakugou commanded tossing the phone back to Denki.

Kirishima growled and stormed towards Bakugou, fuming and steaming at the ears, "Are you fucking serious? Didn't I just say –"

"Yeah I heard ya shitty hair, but you don't make the decisions around here!"

"Neither do you asshole," Kirishima replied as he went to punch Bakugou.

The blonde deflected his attack by grabbing his wrist and bringing his knee up to Kirishima's torso with so much force he hunched over and gasped for air. Holding and twisting his arm back, Bakugou leaned in close to Kirishima's ear.

"No I don't, I didn't want that shitty title, but I do have his ear in all the final decisions. I'm also your elder and I think you need to remember your fucking place before I have to remind you."

Kirishima panted and side eyed the blonde who was grinning at him. Sero and Denki both whistled and looked everywhere but the altercation happening before them, swaying back and forth on their heels as they tried to keep from snickering.

"You and I both know we need some extra help up here if we want to find the fucker that killed Yagi. Having a plain normal girl will help to keep our own 'normal' image up, plus she's destined to bring in more business with that quirk of hers and maybe we can finally get out of this shitty role. You can have everything you want, including her, without any worries or fears. Until then you know we always protect our own, and no one will even think about touching a pretty little hair on her pretty little head. Do I make myself clear?"

Kirishima grunted and pulled, but Bakugou's grip only tightened. 

The red-head didn't want to give in, he didn't want you around at all. He knew he'd go crazy having to see your face every day, smell your intoxicating scent and hear your sweet voice. He'd be forced to see that damned smile and those massive eyes. You'd become the death of him, and Bakugou was right, no matter how much he wanted you to hate him, he'd still take a bullet for you.

Kirishima didn't know why he was so head over heels for you already, maybe it really was love at first sight. Since seeing your unhealed scar, he felt the need to protect you, to know more and to go find the monster who did that to you. You'd be so much better off had you not walked into that shop, now you had everyone intrigued and gunning for your return and stay. Kirishima knew he'd be outnumbered and knew he should quit while he was ahead.

Sighing and finally relaxing, Kirishima nodded, "Crystal."

Bakugou immediately released his friend and helped him to stand straight again, nudging his shoulder with a grin before turning to Sero and Denki.

Raising his hand, Denki cleared his throat before speaking, "Not that I'm complaining or anything but why do we have to fix his fuck up?"

"Because you idiot, you really think she wants to talk to this asshole again? I expect you at least try to apologize to (Y/N) the next time you see her. We're a family here, we don't have to like each other but we respect each other, got it?"

All three of the men in the room nodded and agreed with their elder. Before leaving, Bakugou made sure to remind Denki of his task and that he'd be making his own phone call. Sero followed after the blonde, leaving Denki and Kirishima to their selves. 

Kirishima turned and started to clean up his studio, grabbing disinfectant and spraying down the tattoo chair. Denki walked over and took the bottle and sprayed the empty tray and counter tops before taking some paper towels from the red-head. They worked together cleaning the room before Kirishima gathered his things and they headed out.

"Look I'm sorry bro. I didn't know your reasoning. I just lose it when I see someone crying. I just got this overwhelming big brother vibe and I wanted to defend her."

Kirishima smiled and placed a hand on his friends shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "It's no problem man, I needed my ass kicked. It wasn't manly of me to treat her that way, but it's all I can think to do."

"So does this mean you're still going to be an ass to her?"

Kiri nodded and frowned, "I can't let her think she has a chance, not if it means endangering her life. The less she knows about us the better. If me being a jerk to her will make it easier for her to leave when the time comes then I'll do it. I don't want another body to bury."

Denki sighed and shrugged his shoulders, "Bakugou is right though, we'll protect her, so why not change?"

"It's complicated dude, and I'm tired. Let's just drop it."

The two had finally made their way back to the front of the shop. Sero and Bakugou were talking among themselves before turning to look at them, who had obviously made up by now. Denki and Kirishima gave each other a firm fist bump and the yellow-haired male smiled and chuckled before crossing his arms behind his head and sauntering to his other friends.

"Well my dudes, until Rockhead over here stops acting so dumb, that little dime is free real-estate!"

You sighed and checked the time on your phone as you walked from the vehicle and towards a coffee shop. You looked at the name of the shop before re-reading the text Denki had sent you, just to make sure it was the right place. 

A gust of chilly wind flew by, making your scarf almost fly away until a familiar cheerful voice sounded off.

"I got it cutie!"

Turning around a smile grew on your face upon seeing Denki jog your way with scarf in hand as his other clasped the collar of his coat close to his face. Sero trotted behind him pulling his beanie over his ears. You were happy to see both of their friendly faces and eagerly gave them both a hug, Denki went the extra mile and pecked your cheek, making you blush and playfully shove him.

"Let's get your cute butt inside before you freeze to death," he suggested and motioned you towards the door.

Sero ran to open it for you and nodded when you gave him a 'thank you'. Once inside the three of you ordered drinks, to which Sero insisted on paying for. There was no arguing since Denki pulled you away and to a table close by a window, leaving the black-haired male on his own. You gave him an apologetic smile and you could swear he blushed. Denki pulled your stool out and took your hand gently to help you up and onto it. He sat in a stool right next to you and rather close, making your knees brush and flashing you a literal heart stopping smile.

"Okay Denki, why am I here? I can just tell you have something up your sleeve."

"Aww, what if I genuinely wanted to spend time with you cutie, would that be so bad," he questioned and batted his lashes.

"No, it wouldn't but you're really laying on the charm right now, and if you wanted to spend time with me, I think you'd want to alone. Sero being here has me suspicious, like he's your wing-man for something."

Denki smirked and brushed back a strand of (h/c) hair that fell in your face. "Alright shorty, you got me. We're on a mission, to get you back into the shop and working for us."

If you had your drink you would've spit it out instantly from the laughter spewing from your mouth. At the right time Sero had popped up, drinks in hand and asked what was so funny.

"You two thinking that I'd even consider working at that shop, that's what's funny."

"Aww, come on (Y/N), hear us out please, if we don't return with good news Bakugou is bound to throttle us!"

You quirked a brow and sipped on your warm tea, Sero sat down on the opposite side of you and Denki. 

Why Bakugou wanted you there so bad had you intrigued. He was the one to mention it and offer the spot to you but you didn't understand why he seemed so hellbent on getting you back there. Or why any of them did, except for that red-headed jerk. If he wasn't there you honestly wouldn't think twice about the job. Who wouldn't love to work in a shop full of drop dead gorgeous tattooed men, overbearingly flirty ones at that.

"What does Bakugou want with me?"

Denki chuckled and raised a brow, "Among many things, he mainly wants you to work for us. Be our image when people first walk into the door."

"Remember I told you, we don't get a lot of female clientele," Sero questioned before taking a sip of his coffee. "Our shop can be the nicest and most modern looking shop on the street, but when most chicks walk in and see Bakugou's mad face or Kirishima's soul crushing eyes they tuck tail and run in the opposite direction. We thought if we had someone cute, feminine, sweet looking then maybe it could bring in more business. Plus, we have some other things going on as well, and having an extra hand around to answer the phone, emails, make appointments and such would be a major help."

You looked at your cup, the tip of your fingers tracing the rim of it as you took in Sero's words. You wanted to help them out, really. Being new to the area, you could use the job, the money, the friends. Also working with a band of heavily tattooed and intimidating looking guys wouldn't be so bad for other reasons. You just couldn't get over the fact though that Kiri seemed to despise you so much, for no reason. He went as far as to say the job wasn't even real and –

"I thought you guys didn't need me," you coldly replied, remembering the way Kiri said it to you.

Denki placed his hand on your forearm and Sero placed his on yours that laid on the table. You didn't flinch or seem taken off guard, you felt comfortable around these guys. You looked up to see Sero softly smiling at you with a gentle squeeze of your hand.

"Look, I know Kirishima was a jackass to you and you don't deserve that at all."

"Damn straight you don't, in fact I defended your honor and opened up a can of whoop ass on him," Denki chimed in.

"You didn't," you replied with a snort.

"He tried, Kiri won though, but it was a valiant gesture," Sero nodded and smiled at Denki. "Even Bakugou chewed him out for you. You see (Y/N), one of us may be a total dick, but the rest of us have your back. We'll keep his hard-headed ass in line, I'll tape his mouth shut if I need to, Denki will attempt to shock the shit out of him and Bakugou will blast him into oblivion."

A smile spread across your face from Sero and Denki trying their hardest to butter you up and get you to say yes. They were completely at your mercy. 

You turned to look at the golden eyed man next to you, he smiled and laid his head on your shoulder, whimping like a puppy, pouting his bottom lip. You and Sero both laughed and looked at each other, he gave you a flat lipped smile and pleading expression. Both the men were doing a damn good job at being cute and irresistible, no wonder Bakugou sent them together, it was a fool proof plan.

"I'll even bring you breakfast every morning," Sero added.

"And I'll bring you lunch!" Denki nearly shouted.

Biting on your lip you thought it over, mainly about how you'd deal with Kirishima. You couldn't just ignore and stoop down to his level of petty. You still wanted to try and make nice with him, maybe it was an off day and there was hope. Something about him made you want to try and try, even if it meant meeting rejection at each turn. He was a challenge no doubt and you sort of liked that. Plus the offerings of free food helped.

"Please, with a cherry on top," they both sung in unison.

You sighed and bit your lip, trying to hide the goofy smile that wanted to surface.

"Goddammit, okay fine! I'll do it!"

"SHE'S GONNA DO IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! SHE'S DOING IT," Kaminari yelled and threw his hands up into the air, making you and everyone else in the quiet coffee shop jump.

You tugged on the hem of his shirt and yanked him back into his seat quickly, placing your hand over his mouth with wide eyes as you chuckled. 

"Shut the fuck up you crazy person!"

Denki smiled and grabbed your wrist, pulling it off of his mouth and placing a kiss to the top of it. You blushed and pinched his cheek before leaning forward and placing a kiss to it. The male thought he died and went to heaven as he hummed and went all starry eyed. 

"Thank you Denki, for defending me."

"I'll do it over and over again if it means I get more of those!"

"Hey, you already have her number and got a kiss, give the rest of us a shot man!"

You looked at Sero and smiled, brushing your thumb on his hand that still held yours. For the remainder of your get together, Sero went over what your duties at the shop would be. 

Real simple stuff, keeping the place clean, answering the phone and replying to emails. Going out and getting supplies when they needed them, to which one of the guys would always tag along and help. He also asked if you'd be okay with using your quirk on their not so pleasant customers with low pain tolerances. You agreed, it was nothing to do really and made you feel needed even more. The shop was open pretty much every day but you were allowed to take any days off you wanted, it wouldn't really be an issue.

After the three of you finished your drinks you decided it was time to get back home. Denki got up and helped you down from your stool while Sero grabbed your coat and helped to put it on you. Both men hooked their arms through yours and walked you back out into the cold to your vehicle. 

You hugged Denki and kissed his cheek again before he took the key from Sero and ran to their vehicle to get it warming up. Turning, you looked at Sero who smiled. A gasp came out of your mouth when a snowflake landed right on your eye lash and made you shudder. Quickly Sero held your face in one hand and gently removed the snow flake with his fingers. You both blushed at each other when you blinked and his thumbs brushed your cheeks.

"Now is your last chance to back out, I know we laid it on pretty thick in there but if you're really uncomfortable then you can say no. I know Kirishima really hurt you the other day and we're all terribly sorry for that. He shouldn't treat any one that way."

You smiled and placed a hand over Sero's and winked, "I'm fine now Sero, really. It means a lot to have you, Denki and Bakugou back me up on this and to seek me out. I can handle myself though, I won't let Kiri get to me."

"If he does, you just come and find one of us."

You nodded and hugged the sweet black eyed male, he hugged you back and made you feel extremely warm and wanted. Before pulling away he kissed the top of your head and opened your car door. You placed a kiss on his cheek before getting in and shutting the door behind you. A massive triangular smile was plastered on his face as you started the car and drove away. Sero knew that eventually, Kirishima would be one lucky guy.

Kirishima walked down the sidewalk, hands in his coat pockets and eyes looking at the ground. His fingers dug around briefly to grasp the shop keys in his pocket as he got closer to the door. The wind nipped at his face and he pulled this collar of the coat up to shield his cheeks while his other hand inserted the key into the lock. Behind him he could hear the sound of a car door opening and closing before the horn went off as it locked. Footsteps were heard closing in near him.

"We don't open for a couple more hours," he spoke without even looking.

"That's cool," a sweet and sarcastic voice replied.

The red-head stopped what he was doing and turned his face to glance next to him. There you stood, cheeks and nose already pink from the ice-cold air. Strands of your (h/c) hair flew around your face as your eyes squinted from the gust of wind and snow. You licked your cold and dry lips before peeking an eye open to him.

"It's really cold out here Kiri," you finally spoke in a strained tone.

His brain finally started to function again and his hand turned the key in the lock. Kirishima quickly opened the door and motioned for you to walk inside, you thanked him and did so with a sprint. Once inside you could feel your body instantly defrosting, rubbing your arms as you shook the snow from your body. A chuckle was heard behind you, making your ears perk and you looked to see Kirishima smirking.

"What - are you a dog or something?"

Instantly your smile turned upside down and you rolled your eyes and removed your coat. Kirishima rose a brow when you revealed a black caged suspender skirt with a white t-shirt underneath. The caged straps of the skirt rested right under your breasts only accentuating them more. The hem of it hit you just above the knees. You walked behind the counter to place your coat on the chair, red eyes watching as your hips swayed.

"Oh hey, of course you're early! I got you breakfast, just like I promised!"

Kirishima quickly awoke from his trance when Sero's voice filled the room along with the bell on the door. Sero patted his back as he passed him and went behind the counter. You still had snow in your hair and Sero placed your food on the counter-top and helped to flick it out of the way, your eyes and lips smiled up at him from the intimate gesture, making Kirishima green with envy already. 

Sero brushed a lock of hair out of your eyes and you thanked him. When he pulled away and discarded his own coat, you rubbed the side of your neck and looked at Kirishima, standing there and staring. You offered him a smile to which he didn't return, making your heart shrink just a bit.

The bell on the door went off again and in walked Bakugou. Coffees in his hands and an orange folder in his mouth. Your heart grew again once his red eyes noticed you and smiled with the folder hanging from his teeth. He walked over to Kirishima and nodded for him to take the object, the red-head took it and looked at the front before tucking it under his arm. Bakugou offered Kirishima a coffee and walked towards you behind the counter. Sero took one for himself and went to plop down on one of the couches. You smiled when Bakugou placed himself before you and smirked devilishly down on you.

"Looks like you couldn't stay away after all huh princess?"

Blushing and biting your lip you smiled. 

"Well when you send two of the cutest agents out to butter me up, I kind of didn't have a choice, plus they both offered me free food."

Sero yelled out a 'guilty' in the background and you giggled. Bakugou chuckled and handed you a coffee, when your hand reached out to take it he pulled it back and teased you, holding it out of your reach. Kirishima rolled his eyes, drinking his own coffee as he watched Bakugou blatantly flirting with you.

"Bakugou~", you whined and reached.

Both men had vastly different reactions to the sound of your needy whine, Kirishima felt his blood boiling and Bakugou was eating it up with a shit-eating grin. 

Finally the blonde gave in and handed the coffee to you, along with a kiss to your cheek. You blushed immediately and shyly thanked him as he pinched your chin. Kirishima let out an exaggerated sigh and went to walk behind the counter to his studio, except you and Bakugou were blocking his way. The blonde grinned and threw an arm around your shoulders, walking you both to the side and out of the red-heads way as he motioned for him to walk by. Kirishima gave you a look and you couldn't decipher what it held. His hand shoved Bakugou's shoulder as he brushed past the two of you and around the corner disappearing from your sight.

Bakugou squeezed your shoulder and ruffled your hair, making a smile return to your face. 

"You're one of us now princess. Ready to get your first day started?"

"Oh, I'm ready!"

[mylittleshipgoestoot]

That’s What Makes You Beautiful

by mylittleshipgoestoot (Explicit)

Pre-Debate nerves turn an innocent trip to the bathroom into their first time together without Astrid.

Astrid narrows her eyes at her supposed boyfriend, who’s got full-blown heart eyes for his opponent, whose none other than her nemesis, Payton Hobart.  Sure, she’d agreed to their little triangle arrangement, but only for fear of losing River altogether.

There’s something about those dimples, and that little smirk River gives him as he clutches the microphone, and brings it up to his lips.  She can’t quite put her finger on it, but it bugs her.

Little does she know that the smirk isn’t what it seems at all.  River is trying to compose himself as Payton purposely imitates an intimate moment they’d had less than an hour ago.

Explicit Content under the cut - AO3 Link

Payton strides into the backstage bathroom like he owns the place.  He’s nervous on the inside, and there's no sign of his opponent yet.  Even though it sounds ridiculous, seeing River would calm his nerves somewhat.  He critiques his appearance in the mirror. Usually, he’d be confident about it, but today he’s going to be standing next to a Ralph Lauren model on stage.  He pulls a face and starts tapping his foot nervously, knowing that he has to be about god damned perfect to win this debate: not a foot wrong, no buckling under the pressure of it all.

“Payton?”  River would know that nervous foot tap anywhere.

Payton eyes the end stall with the closed door, in the mirror, curiously.

“Pre-debate nerves?”  Payton offers, pointlessly walking toward the stall.  Theirs a weird sort of breath pattern going on in there, and the idiotic part of Payton’s brain wonders if maybe River’s sobbing quietly, obviously overcome by his political opponent.

“Ahhh, ah more like a pre-debate wank,” River replies, raising the volume of his ministrations, allowing Payton to hear him.

Payton’s shell-shocked and his body is very interested, he’s also grappling with how much he wants to see precisely what River’s doing, but at the same time, now is not the time nor place for this.  Imagine the scandal?

“Payton?”  River stops his actions momentarily, and Payton watches as the vacant sign appears and the door swings open.

Well, fuck.  Think about the best porn you’ve ever seen, well, this shits all over that.  River is fucking magnificent. Shirt hanging open, trousers bunched around his ankles, long wicked fingers wrapped around his beautiful cock, and a gorgeous, yet mischievous grin on his face.

“Wanna help a fellow candidate out?”

Payton doesn’t answer, his feet just start walking toward him as if in a trance, and he doesn’t come back to himself until he hears the lock turn again.  He’s sitting down, staring right at River’s perfect dick. He adjusts himself and coughs nervously.

“Er, should we be doing this?”  His voice is embarrassingly high-pitched, and he kicks himself for being so uncool when River appears so confident.

River squats down so he can look him in the eye, and says gently, ”Payton, if you’re not comfortable with-“

“What?  No, I’m comfortable with blow jobs, I just thought we didn’t do ‘this’ without Astrid?”  He’s babbling, offering blow jobs, why does he have zero game, it’s so unfair.

River chuckles lightly.  “Blow job, hey? I just invited you in so I could look at you because it’ll make me come faster.”

Payton doesn't have a response to that, and he should if he wants to be the president one day, but he's not fucking perfect, okay!

River leans in and kisses him, soft and leisurely, like they're not going head to head on stage in under fifteen minutes.  Payton feels drunk on it, sucking on River’s tongue as he runs his hands down over those perfect pecs. Time could genuinely run away on them in here, and it's only when they hear the P.A system announce the debate that they realise they need to get on with it.

River straightens back up and looks down as he runs his thumb across Payton’s swollen red lips.  He moans when Payton sucks on it playfully. He gently pushes his other fingers into Payton’s mouth, covering them with saliva, then wraps them around his dick.

The thing is, Payton’s never actually given anyone a blow job, and River hasn't pressured him at all, but with River pleasuring himself right in front of his face, he can't think of a better time to give it a crack.

Start small, he thinks, hand coming up to caress River’s balls.  He thinks he's doing okay, considering River’s full-body shudder, but he looks up to make sure River’s on board with it anyway.

Should anyone ever have the full attention of River Barkley, as Payton does right now, thank your lucky fucking stars.  River’s eyes are blown wide open, filled with love, and his jaw is utterly slack.

”Gently tug, ” River directs, voice rough and breathy.

Payton doesn't need telling twice; he’s always been very accommodating like that.  He stops playing and gives a gentle tug, one finger accidentally brushing past River’s entrance.

”Shit,” River chokes out, jerking himself more frantically.

Pleased with the response, Payton is spurred on to be more adventurous.  He waits until River is on a downstroke to lick the head of his cock, tongue dancing over it, tasting the salty essence of him.

River moans low in his throat, watching as Payton repeats the action.  ”God, Payton, you look-” River will never be done staring into those big Disney eyes.

Payton beams at the praise.  In all his very short life, no-one had ever made him believe he was worthy, and then he met River.  He would do anything for this man.

Feeling more confident, he places a hand over River’s, following the motion for a few strokes, before taking River into his grasp.  

This is power; he thinks to himself.  Making River bite his lip like that, being the reason for those breathy gasps, this shits all over school president.

Unhurriedly, Payton starts to explore again.  He takes the head of River’s cock into his mouth and swirls his tongue over it slowly.  River groans above him, and a hand comes to rest gently at the base of his skull.

Payton opens his mouth, allowing River to control the pace of his cock, as it slides over his lips and tongue and toward the back of his throat.  It feels so intimate. River is staring down at him adoringly, and nothing else in the world even exists. He closes his eyes, mind going blank and loses himself in the feeling.

Hours could have passed but in reality, its only seconds before River tells him he’s close.

It pulls Payton out of his blissful haze.  As the noise from the auditorium filters back in, something snaps in him, and it gives him purpose.  He wants to blow River’s mind, wants to rid him of his thoughts and troubles for a moment too.  

He slides his mouth as far down the length of River’s cock as he can go without choking, his lips making it to his fingers around the base, then sucks as hard as he can as his lips slide back up again.

River’s knees buckle, and he’s forced to support himself with a hand against the wall.  ”God, ” he says, feeling his self-control slipping as Payton continues blowing him with those beautiful pouty lips.  It feels incredible, freeing, and like he never wants it to end.  

Payton moans as he sucks him down again, the sound of it sends shivers up his spine.  Another moan and River is losing it, his hand tightening in Payton’s hair, as the other lands with an emphatic slap against the wall, “Ohhhhh,” he groans, stiffening and spilling into Payton’s waiting mouth.  River gasps for breath, and takes in Peyton sucking and swallowing down his load, ”Payton, Jesus, ” River manages through an aftershock. He’s stunned, completely blind-sided by how good this could be with the right person.  It hadn't felt anywhere near this good with any of his previous partners.

Peyton let's go of him, reaching for the paper to dab delicately at the corners of his mouth, and clears his throat nervously.  River re-dresses, and curses when he checks his watch.

”Three minutes, ” he says, unlocking the stall door and motioning that Payton goes first.

They wash up together.  Payton sets about straightening up his ensemble, as a set of arms wrap around him from behind, and River grins that wide, warm smile at him in the mirror.

”You look great in pinstripes, and you’re going to be amazing out there.”

Payton looks at the bathroom floor, still not used to so much praise.

”God, ” River says, tilting Payton’s chin back up from the ground, ”You don't know how beautiful you are, do you?”

”Only you think that.”

Payton turns in his arms, and River kisses him gently.  They take a step back from each other, and Payton holds out his hand for River to shake.  River tries not to laugh but shakes the hand regardless.

”May the best man win!”  Payton is all business now, he gives River a comical wave and turns to leave.

”You still going to tell everyone we had sex if I win?” River calls after him.

”Affirmative.” Peyton retorts, and the door shuts behind him, leaving River starting at his grinning reflection in the mirror.  He knows it's the truth too. The man he’s in love with is occasionally hysterical, driven, truthful, and a born leader that will stop at nothing to see his dreams come true.

The end.  Thanks for reading.  AO3

[mostfacinorous]

34, Warlock?

Angels, you would think, would be firmly against murder. And, despite them mostly having been created for righteous smiting and that sort of wrathful thing, they really did frown on it these days.

For the most part.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, was aware that while murder was, you know, one of the Big No-Nos, there were times when it was the better option.

Case in point; his godson.

The accidental un-antichrist had shown up, bawling, his shirt and hands all but soaked in blood that gave off a distinctly demonic aura.

Crowley had been on his feet immediately, his yarnwork vanished-- possibly into the fire on the off chance that whoever it was would actually see him doing anything so patently uncool, but either way it seemed he hadn’t given it a second thought.

He’d crossed the room in a few strides, gathered the boy into his chest, and started barking orders.

“Angel, the safeguards!”

With a couple of quick tugs, the house was sealed against supernatural meddling-- be it heavenly or demonic in origin.

“Warlock, deep breaths, there’s a good lad. What’s happened?”

Warlock took a gulping, shuddering breath of air and shook his head.

“They came for us-- we came back and there were a bunch of ‘em, and they all looked the same, and they did something, and... mom and dad are dead.”

Aziraphale sucked in a gasp, horrified that Hell would move on the Dowlings, when they so obviously had nothing to do with anything.

“How did you get away?” Crowley asked softly, still cradling Warlock, even as he gave him space to talk.

It had been only a handful of years, but Warlock was on the verge of growing into a fine young man-- not anywhere so tall as Crowley, but certainly taller than Aziraphale. Still, in Crowley’s arms, he looked about ten.

“I don’t--” The panic was fighting for control again, and Warlock began shaking. “I just-- I screamed, and I reached out, I was trying to get to mom, to save her and...”

“And...?” Aziraphale prompted, soothing a gentle hand over Warlock’s ichor slick hair.

“And they all exploded!” Warlock wailed.

Crowley traded a wide eyed glance with Aziraphale.

No wonder hell wanted him. And if they knew, heaven wouldn’t be far behind.

“There now, it’s alright, you did the right thing. Why don’t we get you cleaned up, get you some new clothes and something warm to drink, and then we’ll discuss what comes next. Alright? You’ll be safe here.” Aziraphale kept up his stream of comforting calmness all the way until he got the boy loaded into a shower and his clothes chucked into a miraculously clean pile in the hamper.

“How long d’you reckon we can keep them out?” Crowley asked, keeping his voice low, in spite of the running water.

“Not long. Not if they know he’s here. Certainly not long enough to help him learn to control it.”

“Whatever it is-- where the heaven did this come from?”

Aziraphale spread his hands, equally lost.

“What can we do, then?” Crowley asked, collapsing back into his spot on the sofa.

“We should call Anathema.” Aziraphale decided, already making his way to the phone on the wall.

Crowley blinked, then pulled out his mobile.

“I’ll call Adam. He can help, probably.” He answered, already pulling up the number.

Aziraphale paused in his dialing.

“Do you think that’s wise? Putting the two of them together? Won’t they be an even bigger target?”

“We’ve always been stronger together.” Crowley answered, lifting the phone to his face. “I can’t imagine they'll be any different. Adam?”

Aziraphale let him be as he stood and wandered away to explain the situation, and completed his call to their resident witch.

It wasn’t long before the cottage was more full than it had been since their house warming. Adam had ridden his bike over, Anathema had been dropped off by her husband, and Warlock had finally emerged from his very long, very hot shower, and was wearing Crowley’s clothing, which suited him well, and dark red rims on his eyes, which didn’t, though none of those assembled remarked on either.

“So.” Adam pursed his lips and crossed his arms. “Are you the antichrist now?”

Warlock looked to Crowley, who shrugged.

“I dunno-- maybe? He said I was, when they were my nanny and gardner.” Warlock gestured at Crowley.

“Yes, dear, but we were mistaken-- it was Adam here all along. Which means that we’ve no idea what sort of title you might bear, only that you have power and we have no explanation for it.”

“He’s got the same sort of aura as Adam does, these days. The mostly human, a little not kind.” Anathema shook her head. “It’s not like either of yours, and it’s not like my family’s auras, so. Maybe they’re their own thing.”

“Great.” Warlock said, flumping down into Aziraphale’s abandoned chair. “So what does that mean-- you have to teach me, Adam?”

Adam shook his head. “I only had my powers for a week or so before I went insane and almost killed my friends, and then stopped the apocalypse by being a little shit to satan. Other than than... what’s left of my powers, it just sort of happens. Usually I hope for something really hard.”

“Well, I didn’t hope for those... demons, I guess, to explode, I just knew I had to do something.” There was horror in Warlock’s voice, but annoyance, too. And fear.

“I think there are more pressing matters than the semantics of your gifts--” Anathema muttered, looking up at the roof. “The angels are about to arrive.”

All around the cottage, the sound of their wards being tested went off, and they could hear the angels cursing outside. Crowley cast a smug look in Aziraphale’s direction, but Aziaphale looked ashen.

“It wavered. Just a flicker. Did you feel it?”

Crowley shook his head, but then, as the angels outside coordinated their efforts, he too looked afraid. “When the demons show up, if they try too, it’s going to give.” “They’re on their way.” Anathema announced.

The children were huddling together now, in front of the fireplace, looking young and scared. It firmed Crowley’s resolve.

“Anathema, can you cloak yours and their auras? Aziraphale and I can hold them off-- take the boys and run.” Anathema nodded, already going to work on the spell.

“But what about--” Warlock began, but Aziraphale gave him a silencing glance.

“We’re going to send you away. The moment your feet hit the ground, I need you to run, as fast as you can.”

“And don’t any of you dare look back.”

“But what are we supposed to--”

“My dear boy, I hope you figure it out. We’re going to need your help, on the other side of this.” Aziraphale traded a glance with Crowley, Anathema waved her hands, and the angel and demon snapped together-- and then they were alone again, with the first of the demons arriving outside.

“We’ll need them, provided we survive, you mean.” Crowley muttered. Aziraphale sighed and reached for his hand.

“Well, that was a given. And I didn’t want to make them feel responsible should they fail.”

Crowley squeezed him back.

“Shall we?” He asked, and together, they reached for their respective powers, ready to rain heaven and hell on Heaven and Hell, if only for long enough to buy time for the witch, antichrist, and human with unnamed power to escape.

[honeybee-babe]

Press Conference EPILOGUEEEE

Yup. It’s still crack. But more snz content is always good right? so here ya go.

~~

The interview aired two days later, and Allison invited all the siblings to her hotel room to watch.

Not even five minutes into the broadcast, while Maya was talking to Klaus, you could distinctly hear a stifled double from Luther, and a quiet “bless you” from Allison, though it had been muffled by the sound crew. They all laughed, even Luther, who blushed red.

“Damnit, they said they were gonna edit them out.”

Diego rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up, it was one sneeze.”

“Actually, it was two,” Klaus quipped, earning himself a slight slap upside the head from Luther.

They would soon realize, however, that it was not just two sneezes. On multiple occasions, both Klaus and Luther could be heard sneezing in the background. And in a few occasions during their solo interviews, you could see them sneeze.

Klaus was dying on the floor.

“That’s fucking golden. I’m too cute.” Luther, on the other hand, was mortified.

“Is that really what I look like when I sneeze?”

“And all the time, unfortunately,” Diego quipped. Vanya shrugged her shoulders a bit.

“It’s just sneezing, guys. I don’t know why you care so much,” she mumbled, eyes downcast. “Like, whatever, no one’s gonna think anything of it.”

Vanya was very wrong. After it was over, Allison flipped on her favorite all female late night talk show. Five middle-aged women in gaudy dresses and too much jewelry sat in a semicircle discussing the interview.

“Y’know, honestly Pauline,” the second co-host said. “I just couldn’t get over how much Number One and Number Four were sneezing!” The other women chuckled in response.

“Oh my god, I know!” the fifth shrieked. “I mean, it was still very touching and all, but I couldn’t stop laughing any time those two sneezed. Give me the name of that editor cause they should be fired!”

“Those poor boys, though,” the third co-host said with a little frown. “It’s like, couldn’t they reschedule if they were that sick?”

“Seriously, though, did The Monocle not teach those kids how to use a goddamn Kleenex?” joked the first anchor, prompting laughs from all the others.

“I thought it was just too cute, guys,” said the fourth co-host with a little shrug and a sheepish grin. “But honestly, it just made Number Two look so much yummier.”

“Damn right you are, Debrah!” the fifth co-host shrieked and high-fived the fourth, while the others made sounds of approval and nodded in agreement. “Honestly, he could just sit there while is brothers blow snot out of their noses and just stare at me in silence for hours, and I’d be in heaven.”

In the hotel room, Diego grinned.

“Amen!” the fourth co-host cheered.

Klaus hit the power button on the remote and the screen went blank.

“Hey!” Diego pried the remote from him and turned it back on, but the women had already moved onto the next topic. “Dammit Klaus, you made me miss it!”

“Miss what?” Luther asked with a little shrug. “All they were talking about is how attractive they think you are.” Diego grinned.

“Uh, hello? That’s exactly the point?” Klaus scoffed. “Oh, shut up, you’re just jealous they think I’m hotter than you, you big baby.”

“They were being ridiculously unfair, Diego!” Klaus defended. “You try having an allergic reaction during an interview. If I hadn’t been sniffling the whole time, I would have swept the fucking floor with you.”

“Yeah, right,” Diego rolled his eyes. “Some women don’t seem to mind it when you sneeze all over them. You would know, Klaus.”

“Can we stop talking about this?” Vanya asked quietly.

“What does that have to do with these women?”

“Well, if Maya is anything to go by, the sneezing isn’t that much of a turn-off. So that must mean they like me more anyway. Sucks to suck!”

“Luther, back me up on this!” Klaus whined. “You’re beefy and you’ve got that wholesome, all-American thing going on. I’m charming as hell, I’m a pretty boy and I’m an actual gay icon. Diego’s the obnoxious broody high-school loner trope. If we weren’t sneezing our asses off we so would have beaten him in the Most Fuckable contest.”

Luther’s expression remained blank as he stared at Klaus.

“Klaus, why do you care so much?”

“I don’t! Shut up!” Klaus bit back. “It’s all I fucking have, Diego! My powers aren’t cool and I’m not ‘big and strong’ like either of you two! If I don’t have that, what do I have? The most depressing and uncool superpower, and a tragic backstory. That’s it.”

Everyone was silent.

Klaus sighed, “Diego, I think I’m gonna head out of your place soon, you don’t need me there and I can find somewhere else to go.”

“Don’t do that, Klaus,” Diego said. “You’re the nice one, the witty one, you’re charming, you’re the whole deal.”

“I’m not the nice one, I’ve never been the witty one, that’s Vanya, and you’re the charming one apparently!” Klaus frowned. “I’m the junkie! They even introduced me as it! I’m just the happy-go-lucky, carefree, stupid drug addict!”

His eyes were glazed. Diego hoped that Klaus would just fall asleep and this would all feel like a bad fever dream. For once in his life, he wished Klaus was high enough to forget the evening.

“And just thinking about that goddamn perfume is making my nose run!” Klaus added. He then sniffled for emphasis. He wasn’t exactly stuffed up but Diego understood he was doing this to complete the picture.

Allison perked up, “You know, Diego was right, Klaus. Remember how he said that Maya was into you even though you were a sneezy mess? Clearly you’ve still got it when you’re down. Maybe Diego is just their type.” Klaus looked like he was almost considering it. “Seriously, there used to be another co-host on the show that absolutely raved about you when your last overdose went public!”

That roped him in. “Really?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yup.” Allison nodded. “She said she just wanted to take care of you and then have you take care of her. I thought it was disgusting, but you know, do with that what you will.”

Klaus cheered up a bit with that. He sighed happily and pulled some sort of cloth out of his pocket. Immediately, Luther peeled away from him. Whatever the cloth was, it reeked of perfume.

“Klaus, what the hell is that?” Luther asked, his hand over his nose.

“Uhhh…” Klaus stalled. “It’s Maya’s. Maya gave it to me.”

Diego had a bewildered look upon his face. Klaus was continuously surprising him today; every time that Diego thought Klaus certainly couldn’t do anything dumber, he managed to do just that. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

“No. Can it, Diego!”

— “HehhNXGT’uh-nXXT!”

— “Hnkgt-itshuu! Ihhnkt!”

Diego grabbed it out of Klaus’ hand.

“Don’t you dare try to take this shit back from me, I’m burning it as soon as I find my damn lighter.”

[master-sass-blast]

Found Family Part Three: Ellie, Russell, and Yukio.

Welcome back to the Found Family miniseries! Part One and Part Two, in case you need to catch up!

Summary: A look at your friend/family-ship with Ellie, Russell, and Yukio.

Rating: T for mentions of abuse, mentions of death, mild language, and mild angst. This one’s pretty fluffy, though.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.

Set after: Dig the Needle In.

@marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie

Your relationship with the other occupants of ‘Casa de la Mutants,’ as Wade calls it, is probably best described as “tenuous.”

(Except for Scott Motherfucking Summers, who is on the specific status of “go fuck yourself” at all times, regardless of what he’s done, is doing, or will do.)

Most of them don’t mind you. You do your stuff, they do theirs, and it’s all pretty fucking hunky-dory.

Granted, they think the fact that you hang out with Wade is weird, but you’re also the chief grading assistant and the one reason the teachers aren’t constantly swamped with an abundance of work, so it all balances out in the end.

Jean’s cool, as is Remy, and anyone Piotr is close to is pretty friendly to you, but in all honesty you get along better with the teens and college-age students that stay there.

Which is fine, as far as you’re concerned. They don’t judge you for your choices in life or friends –and if they do, they keep their mouths shut about it—and have better taste in hobbies and pastimes. It’s a little touch and go since they tend to bounce in and out for the school year, depending on which age bracket they’re in, but it’s fun.

There are, however, three very specific teens that you’ve adopted into your little found family. It took some time for all of you to warm up to each other, but it was time well-spent and you wouldn’t trade them for anyone else in the world.

This, ladies, gentlemen, and noble gentry of non-conforming gender identities, is the very dramatic tale of how you came to know and love Ellie Phimister, Russell Collins, and Yukio.

It isn’t a very dramatic tale, actually. It’s not even plain old dramatic. Really, it’s kind of run-of-the-mill, maybe even a little boring.

Let it be known that hype has limitations, especially when what you’re trying to sell as the next best thing is really just average.

Anyway.

Getting in with the three teens that are honorary members of the X-Force –because Ellie and Yukio are still technically X-Wo­men and Russell’s too young to be fighting crime—isn’t all that hard, either. Yukio genuinely loves people, Russell’s basically Wade’s shadow when the merc’s around, and Ellie is Yukio’s girlfriend and Piotr’s mentee. You’ve got more than enough connections to be in with the teens.

Also in your favor is that you’re not an actual authority figure at the mansion. You might grade essays, but you’re not a teacher or a trainer; granted, if shit hits the fan you’ve got enough clout to tell anyone younger than you to duck for cover, but that’s about it.

That, and you’re usually helping start trouble instead of policing it. The latter’s Piotr’s job.

Anyway.

The four of you aren’t super close, though. Ellie sticks with Piotr, Russell sticks with Wade, and Yukio bounces between groups as she pleases but always winds back up with Ellie at the end of the day (which is understandable). You’re sort of disjointed. You know each other, you know the same people, and you all find each other to be agreeable enough, but that’s about it.

Until the four of you are really the only company you all have.

It happens during the summer, when all the “school year only” residents head back home to their families –which takes out about half of the ‘population’ at Xavier’s to begin with.

Then, some sort of conference comes up about mutant rights. Charles heads out to attend that, taking Piotr, Ororo, and a few other X-Men with him.

Then, within days, some sort of big mission comes up that clears out the rest of the X-Men, along with Wade and Nate. You don’t know the details, only that it’s an ‘all-hands-on-deck’ situation –one that you’ve been benched from until you get your episodes under better control, and one that Ellie, Yukio, and Russell can’t attend because they’re too young.

The mansion may as well be a ghost town. The whole space is eerily devoid of noise, and the lack of human contact has you a bit twitchy.

You sigh over your latest text from Piotr –a reminder that he loves you and to eat more than Poptarts while he’s gone—and flop back onto your bed, dejected. I wish he was home already.

As it turns out, you’re not the only one disquieted by the lack of noise and human contact.

Russell walks in on your late night Poptart run –you love Piotr, but you do what you want—and sits across from you at the breakfast table. “Hey.”

You nod at him. “Hey,” you garble around a mouthful of toaster pastry that’s more preservatives than pastry. “Whassup?”

“Nothing. Not much going on without everyone here.” He shifts in his seat, gaze bouncing from you to the window to you to the floor to back to you. “Do you… do you know when they’re going to be back?”

“The conference ends next week,” you say with a shrug. “And I know jack shit about the mission, so I can’t say anything about the rest of them.”

Russell nods, shifts in his seat again. “So, uh—”

Before he can say whatever he was going to say, Ellie and Yukio walk in.

Yukio waves cheerily at the two of you before sitting down. “Hi, Russell! Hi, Y/N!”

Ellie just grunts and sits next to her girlfriend, eyes glued to her phone screen.

You smirk and cram more Poptart into your mouth. “Hey, Yukio. Ellie. I didn’t realize you two were still up.”

“It’s summer,” Ellie says drily. “Sleep is for chumps. Besides, it’s too damn quiet around here.”

“Yeah,” Russell agrees quickly, looking relieved at the fact that he’s not the only one thinking it. “It’s almost like something out of a horror movie.”

“We’re all used to the noise,” Yukio chimes in. “It’s just lonely without everyone else here.”

And then they all look at you, like they’re looking for some sort of direction on what to do.

Oh dear sweet Cthulhu, that’s exactly what they’re doing. You’re the adult now. They’re looking to you for guidance.

Who the fuck let that happen? You think, terrified by the sudden prospect of being the responsible one. Okay, Y/N. Put on your thinking cap. You’ve got three teenagers looking to you to act as the adult. Fuck, what do I do?

Okay, step one: isolate the problem.

Okay, that’s simple enough. They’re lonely. Maybe even a little scared at the prospect of not having the usual people around.

Step one done. Step two: determine what the need is.

Again, simple enough: they’re looking for companionship, but they don’t know how to ask for it because they’re usually surrounded by people –and they’re also at that tender age where asking a grown up for direct help is “uncool.”

Step two done. Step three: find a way to get from being lonely to not being lonely.

Which is easier said than done, actually. Sure, y’all could hang out and watch a movie, which would help to some degree, but you’re practically the only four people in the house right now. Somehow, watching a movie and then splitting apart again for the night doesn’t seem to be enough.

You glance over your shoulder; the rec room’s right behind you, dark since no one’s using it, and oh, hey, I’ve got an idea. “You guys want to camp out in the rec room for the night?”

And that’s definitely the right answer, if the way all three teens’ faces light up is anything to go by.

Step three done.

It takes the better part of an hour to get the rec room set up for your little camp out; none of you are really sold on the idea of sleeping on the couches, and even Ellie doesn’t remember where the pump for the air mattresses got stored, which means the four of you have to drag down your regular beds from upstairs.

Which means rearranging all the furniture in the rec room so there’s space for four twin-sized mattresses on the floor, and since none of you can lift a couch single handed –Piotr—it takes a lot of sweat and team effort.

But the four of you do manage, and by the end of it you’ve got four mattresses settled on the rec room floor with blankets and pillows.

Russell sits down on his bed, gaze bouncing around the room as his uncertainty manifests again. “So… what now?”

It’s Ellie who makes the first suggestion.

“You guys ever play Mario Kart?”

You and Russell, as it turns out, suck at Mario Kart.

Not that it matters. You’re all too busy busting a gut at just how bad you and Russell –more specifically, you, since you decide to ignore the idea of winning in favor of fucking around on the courses—are at the game.

And Ellie, as it turns out, is a good teacher. By the end of it all, you and Russell are decent enough at Mario Kart to beat most of the computer characters.

(None of you are good enough to beat Ellie, though.)

The sun’s well on its way to being high in the sky when you wake up the next morning.

Ellie jerks awake with a snort when your phone’s alarm goes off.

You smirk as she tries to get her hair looking somewhat normal. “Sleep well?”

“Meh.” She rolls over to Yukio’s mattress and flops on top of her girlfriend. “It’s time to get up.”

Yukio groans and shoves Ellie off her. “I’m awake.”

You grin at their antics, then turn around and nudge Russell awake. “Hey. You should probably eat something.”

“Probably.” He rubs at his eyes. “What’s in the kitchen?”

“Uh…” You frown. “I’ve got Poptarts.”

“Those will spike my blood sugar too fast.”

“Right. Uh…”

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you two how to cook?” Ellie comments drily, eyebrow raised as she watches the two of you.

“No,” Russell says, glaring at her.

You shake your head when she looks at you. “Forced dependency. Abusers use it to keep their victims dependent on them for survival so they’re less likely to run away.”

She stares at you and Russell for a long, silent moment, then clenches her jaw and stands. “Come on. I’m teaching you two how to make a decent breakfast.”

She teaches the two of you how to make pancakes –without burning them, something you’ve never managed before—and the four of you eat breakfast in the rec room while watching reruns of the original “Teen Titans” cartoon series.

“The reboot is utter blasphemy,” Ellie comments when you ask her about it. “Just… don’t even try to watch it, okay?”

You all spend the rest of the day together; you play video games, you explore the house and the grounds, you watch TV and movies…

And then before you know it, it’s night again, and the house is still too damn quiet.

It’s clear that the three teens think the same, judging by the desperate looks they give you.

You glance at the mattresses, which are still on the rec room floor, then look back at them. “You guys wanna camp out another night?”

Russell’s face lights up. “Yeah!”

“I think it sounds like fun!” Yukio agrees.

Ellie shrugs and taps at her phone. “Whatever.”

You grin. “Sounds like we’re all in agreement, then.”

The next few days follow the same pattern: stay up late playing video games and watching TV, wake up mid-morning and eat breakfast, spend the day playing games, watching movies, or getting into mild mischief, then do it all over again.

It’s great. A little care-free, a little irresponsible, but it’s great.

It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re surrounded by friends, after all.

“So, wait.” Russell puts his slice of pizza down and focuses intently on Yukio. “Your family’s okay with you being a mutant?”

Yukio smiles and nods. “Yes. I am very fortunate, of course, but mutantism is viewed different in Japan. It’s more celebrated. Mutants are said to be blessed by our ancestors and the spirits.”

“I wish it was that way here,” Russell mutters, somewhat dejected. “I’m glad you have a supportive family, though. That’s… that’s good.”

“You have a supportive family, too,” Yukio says with a sweet smile. “All mutants are family to each other. Don’t forget that.”

You can’t help but smile as Russell perks up. “So, when do you go and visit your family?”

“I have an aunt in California,” Yukio says. “She hosts my parents during spring break so I can see them, and I go home to see them during winter break and part of summer break.”

“Is she a mutant too?” Russell asks.

Yukio shakes her head. “The last mutant in my family before me was my great-great grandfather.”

“It’s pretty rare for families to have long histories of active mutations,” Ellie chimes in as she munches on her pizza crust. “The X-gene’s pretty fickle.”

Russell frowns. “I thought Colossus came from a mutation family.”

Ellie snorts. “That’s just Russia, dude. Russia’s weird.”

“What about your family, Y/N?” Yukio asks. “Do you have any mutants in your family?”

Your mind flashes to your uncle automatically –his work as a mercenary, his history as a non-voluntary government agent, how spending those rare few weeks on his farm were the best weeks of your life when you were growing up.

You smile and shrug. “We’ve had one or two along the way.”

The four of you play video games for maybe an hour at a most, that night.

The rest of it, you spend talking.

“My parents threatened to kick me out when I came out as gay.” Ellie takes a swig from her water bottle. “They actually did it when my mutation manifested.”

Yukio frowns sympathetically and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “But your aunt’s been very supportive.”

Ellie smirks. “Doesn’t hurt that she’s gay, too.” She glances over at you. “What about your family?”

You roll your eyes. “Who gives a shit.”

Ellie laughs and nods. “That’s a mood.”

“What happened when your mutation manifested?” Russell asks. “I blew up a toilet.”

“I was outside when it happened,” Ellie says. “I got lucky. I did destroy a couple trashcans, though.”

“I made a few lights explode,” Yukio adds.

You look down at your hands when everyone looks at you. “I accidentally killed someone.” You swallow hard and take a deep breath. “I was five.”

Yukio moves to sit next to you and wraps her arms around you in a hug. “It wasn’t your fault.”

You manage a smile and pat her arm. “Thanks.”

“Does it feel good to kill people?” Russell blurts out.

Ellie whips her half empty water bottle at his head. “You don’t just ask that, idiot!”

You hold up a hand before she can rip into the poor kid. “It’s okay, Ellie.”

Because you know why he’s asking. You know he’s gotten different bits and pieces of the story from Wade and the X-Men –and a few from Nate when he was feeling vindictive—about why Nate was trying to kill him and why Wade worked so hard to save him.

You can hear the unspoken question he’s asking: Am I at risk? Am I going to become the monster people always said I am?

You asked yourself the same question growing up, after each incident you had with the men that liked to hunt you with guns when you ran away.

You look him in the eye. “It doesn’t. The only people who really get off on killing people are psychopaths. You aren’t a psychopath.”

Russell relaxes visibly.

“What does that make Wade?” Ellie mutters, half sarcastic and half serious.

“Psychopaths hurt people for the sake of hurting them,” you interject quickly. “Wade does it to take out people who hurt other people.”

“He’s a psychopath killer,” Russell says.

You shrug. “Basically.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Ellie argues.

“I never said anything about right,” you fire back. “Wade definitely breaks nearly every single ethical and moral convention there is, but he has a code. And knowing that he goes after the kind of people that hurt me growing up…” You shrug again when your voice trails off. “I sleep better at night. I’m not ashamed to admit that.”

“I sleep better, too,” Russell chimes in quietly. “If it wasn’t for someone like Wade, I would’ve become a monster. Or the people at Essex would’ve kept hurting me.”

“It takes all kinds to make the world go around,” Yukio says, reaching over to hold Ellie’s hand again. “Wade is just one of the many kinds we need.”

Ellie lets out a huff. “He’s the crazy kind.”

But there’s no malice behind it, no insult.

The corner of your mouth turns up in a smile. “I doubt even he’d argue with you on that.”

Professor Xavier and the handful of mutants he took with him return home a couple days later.

It’s Piotr that finds your little set up in the rec room, though, which is probably for the best.

He crosses his arms over his chest and smiles down at the four of you. “I see you redecorated.”

The four of you look at each other, grin, then look back at Piotr. “Yeah.”