#I feel this way too about the impact molly has had as a character even after years

[dent-de-leon]

i love hearing your widomauk thoughts, i only just finished watching campaign 2 for the first time and i am completely insane about them, so seeing others who are still active in widomauk spaces is super nice!!

aww thank you this warms my heart so much ;; I've been shipping widomauk since like episode 7 of C2 first aired and they are just very dear to me :') and it makes me so happy to hear that newer fans still love the circus man and magic man's relationship too!! :D

[danwhobrowses]

So a thing happened on Critical Role this week (campaign 3 ep 91), we're gonna talk about it - a long talk - so if you haven't been caught up and don't wanna be spoiled don't keep reading okay?

One of the disadvantages of being in a different time zone is that after fretting all morning, going to work, thinking 'it's 7am maybe it's done now' I had to sit in my office for a stressful final half hour murmuring don't do this don't fucking do this don't you dare fucking do this!

I already was worried for everyone given the cliffhanger last episode, and the 5 hour length made me further worried as players kept being knocked down by Otohan Thull - already frightening in base form but now with an even higher AC and empowered. Then Sam Riegel had to do what he does best, a devastating sacrifice where FCG blows himself up to take down Otohan - Ludinus' No. 2, harrowed for being proficient in slaughter, defeated by no assassin or warrior but a cleric saving their friends. We've been well past 'get off the moon' hours with this one, but now there is an impact on every one of the Hells to think about, which is what this will be about.

FCG Though he is dead there is still stuff to talk about with FCG's death. A common debate right now is the potential of the Reincarnate spell; while the wording of the death implies that FCG's current body is irreparable there is a chance that a 5th Level Druid Spell can fashion him a new body, one of flesh, bone and tongue. The body itself needs to be dead for less than 10 days so there is wiggle room to gain the necessary components too if the top brass of Exandria turn it into a fetch quest. There is argument on both sides though; if FCG comes back does it undermine his sacrifice? Perhaps, but there's no incentive for the Hells to not try. Reincarnation hasn't quite happened in Critical Role yet - Since Molly/Lucien/Kingsley was kinda different, he kinda had the opposite, different mind same body - so it'd be a refreshing new option and also a way to redesign FCG without having to create a whole new cleric (because they definitely need a cleric) with a whole new skillset that the Hells will need to warm towards before the final battle. But at the same time, the soul has to be willing. FCG was content with his sacrifice, and in the arms of the Changebringer would he go back? I'd like to hope so if it's an option, it'd also entertain a whole new character arc for him as a 'real boy' - plus Matt and Sam don't have to fully abide to the D100 rule of what race he turns into. Of course, I like this angle more than needing a new character, because I like happy endings and it makes narrative sense that the Hells would claw and bite to pull him from that sweet goodnight. It would also validate a reason for the Hells to align with the gods, because if divine favour comes into play and the Gods decide against helping Bell's Hells' greatest advocate for saving them then they are foolishly and callously forsaking key players to their survival, FCG reincarnating with the help of the Gods would play a big part in the Hells standing with them rather than losing faith in them, and even with friction between the Titans & Temults and the Gods from the past they would have a common enemy. Still living or dying can have varying effects on the other characters.

Ashton From the moment Ashton met FCG they wanted to make sure this little bot would be okay, that they'd learn to value their life and be able to thrive. While part of that did happen, Ashton is likely going to feel like nothing's changed since Bassuras; knocked out by Otohan and when awakened a friend is dead, another person they couldn't protect.

Before the shard, I think Ashton would very easily fly off the handle, in their anger they'd blame everything including themselves and maybe even consider leaving themselves, it probably have made them more self-destructive too. Now though I'm not so sure, nobody would hold it against them to waver a little on their promise to take care of themselves in a burst of grief, this was after all their best friend someone they looked after like a little brother, and while I can see Ashton quietly and angrily grieving I can also see Ashton double down on trying to keep their promise, making sure that FCG didn't go out like a martyr and that it won't be in vain. FCG reincarnating would assist in Ashton's character drive too, since I feel like they would detest any replacement cleric because it's not FCG, they may also be less abrasive towards the gods if they came through for them and proved that they care - at least to the Changebringer, think they'd still throw copper at the Dawnfather given the whole Angel incident.

Imogen As the nominated leader of Bell's Hells, many will probably look to Imogen Temult for action, the problem is she has her own mother issues to deal with too - and I'm not entirely sold that Liliana has fully made a turn just yet, only that she won't hand over the Hells to Ludinus. FCG's death is gonna produce a lot of guilt from Imogen though, she was detesting the fact that she had to play dead at 1HP while Otohan cut down her friends again, she will likely blame her inaction which in turn may push her to be more aggressive in combat.

At the same time, I can see her being one of the more gung ho characters to push towards the Reincarnate option, perhaps even going as far as to accost or lambast anyone regardless of alliances or rank who she feels isn't as committed. Imogen has been in the position of loss before, and knowing that FCG had a connection with FRIDA she would likely compel herself to fix it rather than have to deliver the bad news. Regardless of whether he reincarnates though I feel like Imogen may look towards some more defensive spells, and maybe through Liliana try to tap into the powers of an Exalted to try and match the power she saw from Otohan, a risky endeavour for sure but FCG took an even greater risk for them.

Orym Orym is probably the toughest of the Hells to read when it comes to FCG's death. There will of course be a deep sadness at the loss of a friend, but I would also sense a...not bitterness but discontent that this is how it went down. Otohan killed his family, he kept fighting her until he could no longer stand because that's what they would've done, and now she's dead but it doesn't make it better, he wasn't the one to do it, he didn't even see it, and the one who did is gone with her. When Bor'dor was killed, Orym coldly reminded himself that 'we're at war', but I don't think he can justify that way with FCG, the loss was greater than the catharsis.

The death also has to turn attention to his deal with Nanna Mori. Many have pointed out that there is a lot of technicalities that may prolong, void or complete the deal; it was never specified how many times the Hells could return from the moon to continue the deal, but at the same time they did technically return from the moon to Exandria safe and sound via the Secret Backdoor. Still, Mori is his best friend's grandmother, there could be leeway on that matter too and even if he does have to commit to the deal (which I call 'Fatekeeper Orym') it's never been explicitly said that Orym needs to constantly attend to Mori in the Feywild, only that he has to be her caretaker and answer her beck and call. However, FCG's death will likely provide a sobering thought that his deal with Mori was perhaps voided, unless there is one more thread he can have her pull. When it comes to seeking options to bring a friend back, I would keep a close eye on Orym - it's not the first time Liam's resolved himself to be damned before.

Fearne Fearne will likely be a linchpin if the Hells seek out Reincarnate. The spell is exclusive to Druids and if Keyleth isn't on hand to do it the task and pressure will fall to her. It'll be interesting how she reacts, I don't wanna say she'll be the most positive of it because she'll certainly be upset, but I can see her being optimistic even if it's to also convince herself, the one who is most encouraging to find a way. As a shipper I of course want her to be the one who comforts and gets through to Ashton while they grieve but if she also is key to his reincarnation that also adds to their slow-burn. Outside of that, FCG's death may also lead into learning about Mori's deal with Orym, which will probably anger her that Orym kept it from her, there is also the fact that having FCG's life in her hands may bring back bad memories of Bassuras and Whitestone. One must also especially worry about her Asmodeus calling card, the Prince of Lies does nothing for free and I still feel like Klask was planted in her path by Asmodeus' (and maybe even Athion's) titan-seeking design.

If FCG does reincarnate though, I could see her friendship with FCG being even greater than it was, since they'll both feel a greater zeal for life - it may also make her feel further distant from her Evil vision, since she will have saved half her friends rather than risked killing them. If not though, Fearne may have to play mediator for the new cleric and may also be pushed towards freeing up more slots for healing to provide more support for the Hells in future battles.

Chetney It's gonna be an interesting one for Chetney too, from one perspective you could see him thinking that FCG traded their life for his; he died, he made peace with that, but then the one who revived him died. Chetney's more personal mindset has often been cloaked in secrecy, perhaps as one of the least open of the Hells despite many claiming him as the Heart of the group, so I wonder if Chetney may harbour some Survivor's Guilt for what happened.

I can see Chetney being the one to keep his emotions close to his chest, even if FCG were to reincarnate he would perhaps try to shrug off that he always knew it'd happen anyway. That being said someone who remains stoic and unwavering may prove a positive or a negative to the group, depending on the person or their interpretation of it. If a new cleric comes along though I could see him being additionally protective of them, having been the new guy before.

Laudna We should all be worried for Laudna right now. The recent 4SD already revealed that Laudna's 'close to the brink' and I'm pretty sure this is the brink. The aftermath of the Otohan fight will likely push each of the Hells to get stronger, since had they hit harder or been able to take stronger blows it wouldn't have come to this, but that will mean bad things when it comes to Laudna, as she may seek to gain power the only way she thinks she can - through Delilah. After all her last two levels went to Sorcery and did little in the fight, whereas her Warlock class Eldritch Blasts hurt Otohan fairly decently, such a thing can linger in the mind for Delilah to manipulate.

It'll be telling if they do try to Reincarnate him whether the damage will have been done already to Laudna, and that the joy of bringing him back turns to tragedy of Laudna losing herself further, as it often does it will fall to how she leans on Imogen, and how open about it she'll be to her. If FCG is lost however, we may have to keep a very close eye on Laudna being next.

Bell's Hells As I mentioned with Laudna, FCG's death will have made something apparent and clear; despite everything Bell's Hells need to get stronger. Even at Lv13, even with Exalted powers, Fey bargains and Titan shards they still just barely escaped a TPK, and granted they were weakened and worn out but no fight is guaranteed to ever be fought at 100%. Otohan may've been the toughest General of the Vanguard but the other Generals - the Weavemind, Zathuda and the Dominon of Cruft Commander - are still not ones to take lightly, Ludinus is still not one to take lightly, and if Liliana is going to be used by him to become a vessel for Predathos, that cannot be taken lightly. Bell's Hells may need to look towards enhancing their stats as well as their equipment, the harness is still a factor too which can boost them all with enough enchanted items at their disposal. An interesting one would be if Otohan's backpack ends up in one of the Hells' hands; many beforehand have talked about Orym being an Echo Knight but I would personally like to see Ashton take it, since it is powered by the Potion of Possibility like their own Dunamancy powers, it's possible (eheh) that they may align in some manner and could you imagine Ashton + 3 Echoes all raging to get All 4 Dunamancies? Otohan's swords may also provide unique properties for Chetney and/or Orym to use. Reincarnation or not I feel like that may be the Hells' next plan once it's discussed whether to attempt Reincarnation and they're off of Ruidus, gathering allies will likely also be something to prepare for for the final battle given how Otohan stated that they have 'enough Ruidusborns' for their plan. As a group it is difficult to tell if this will strengthen or weaken them, it could strengthen them in a 'never again' way like the Nein, but they were also very enthusiastic about bringing Molly back - it drove them through several arcs - FCG however often was the Hells' beacon of hope and the self-imposed attempted therapist, without that the Hells will either have to put it upon themselves to go the extra lengths or they'll close further in on themselves. If FCG does reincarnate I feel like it would definitely strengthen them mentally but if not I am not so sure.

It shouldn't come to a surprise that I will hold onto the Reincarnate potential so that the Hells can get back their friend, but rest assured I'm worried for all of them right now, there are crossroads ahead.

[tgammsideblog]

Let's talk about Jinx vs The Human World

Jinx vs The Human World is... certainly an episode. It hasn't been talked much in comparison to The End because it has been greatly overshadowed by the later.

One thing that i think many of us can agree about Jinx vs The Human World is that it has super chaotic pacing. It doesn't give you room to breathe because it is already jumping to the next plot point and you can't digest well what you are watching. This hurts the emotional impact crucial character scenes have, because again, they aren't allowed to flow well, not letting the characters to react properly.

It's an episode that should have been around 44 minutes long since it covers multiple plot threads. With that ammount of time some things could have been better paced and given a proper conclusion.

As for the plot threads, i already talked about how i like Jinx as antagonist in this episode. She is fun, her song sequence is pretty good. She ends up capturing Molly and using her as away to power up her sobgoblins.

I really enjoy seeing Scratch finally having to deal with the consequences of not being a good leader. The reason the events of this episode happen are because of his own irresponsibilty, letting Jinx steal the Chairman robe and take over the Ghost World. He realizes that he has been messing up a lot and someone else should be in charge instead. He lets the chairman robe go and chose a more appropiate candidate to be the new chairman.

My biggest issue would be the Chens plot part. I do like the part of Ollie and June standing up to Ruben and Esther and trying to persuade them into helping them to stop Jinx. It's a scene that serves more or less well as a conclusion for their arc, even if Necro-Comicon and The Grand Gesture have this purpose, (more for Ollie's character)

The reveal that Geoff was the ghost that scared Ruben was nice too. It has been a thing that was foreshadowed back on ¨Book Marks The Sprite¨

What i'm not so fond of is how it was Geoff sneezing at him when he was a kid. I think it could been more interesting if it had been Geoff hurting Ruben by accident or scaring too much. That way Geoff apologizes to Ruben, showing to him that he didn't mean to hurt him that way.

Ruben also feels like he lacks proper scenes to show his change of mind. Sure, he realizes that Geoff wasn't evil as he thought he was, making him question things. But there isn't much else. I think there could have been a scene of Geoff saving Ruben from the sobgoblins and Ruben realizes how a ghost saved him, making him reconsider his views.

His change of mind is like it comes a bit out of nowhere. Another problem is how he seems to be super friendly around ghosts near the end which it is very weird. I think it could have been better if he had some expressions and lines that indicates that he is still trying to get used to not seeing ghosts as evil.

In addition to this, the Chens don't get to do much in this episode outside of trapping Jinx inside the phantom canister. I wished that they could have set up traps to catch the sobgoblins and contain them temporary at least, that would have given them a bigger role in the plot.

I do like some moments that June has, like her interations with Darryl and giving some funny moments. She is pretty enjoyable in this episode and she shines almost scene she is in.

In some other problems, i find the whole wraith transformation of ghost friends unnecessary, it doesn't have any funtion in the story aside from seeing how they look as wraiths (which is cool!) but the plot could have played out the same if it had been just Scratch and Molly going to the Ghost World.

The Ghost Council saying nice things about Scratch and that he wasn't so bad to give Molly joy fits well their character arcs this season, but, Sir Alister saying they are Scratch's ¨friends¨ doesn't add up since Scratch doesn't want anything to do with them and he has interacted with them because he was forced to be the Chairman in first place. I would change that line of dialogue and leave it as them thinking that Scratch is not so bad instead.

In all, i think what really hurt Jinx vs The Human World is that it needed to be a way longer episode (around 40-50 minutes) to allow things to be spaced out better. A good chunk of the issues from this episode seem to come from that. With more time to explore the events and changing some things, this episode could have been more presentable in quality as a whole.

[mollys-meadow]

Sherlock season 4 was something, not something good, but it was definitely something.

It was very disappointing when it first came out and it hasn't gotten better with time. I feel like there were so many missed chances with that season. You had Moriarty back, and even if you'd rather leave him dead, you had all that Charles Augustus Magnussen plot that sure, it already had it's climax but there was still a lot you could get out of it. And it bothers me a lot that they were trying to overcomplicate things when the easiest route works perfectly fine.

You could, I don't know, focus on the impact the death of C.A.M. had on society, not only on England but worldwide. You could have hints here and there that there's something lurking, something observing in the shadows; and it makes sense, you have Moriarty on all the tv of England and it's normal that Sherlock is paranoid and John is woried af, all while dealing with Mary's pregnancy. There's a case (that should be the first episode of S4) directly linked to both Moriarty's net and his work before the Reichienback Fall and C.A.M. because these two are the biggest threats Sherlock has ever faced, and to build up such tension for a character such as Magnussen in the last season and completely forget about him on the next one it's not good writing. I would have loved the end of S3 and the begining of S4 to work in a similar way that the end of S1 and the start of S2 works. One leads to the other, they are not independant, together they are part of a bigger thing. And the chance was right there!! You had Moriarty back!! What more do you need!!

The fact that the first episode of S4 would focus more deeply in Moriarty's net would also give us the chance to learn more about what Sherlock did during those two years. I could talk more about the specifics of the plot of this first episode but this is already going to be a long post so, nah.

Also, Mary doesn't die !! Because why would you kill her?? Nah, give Mary a gun, make her the boss, show her strength. John has his knowledge as a doctor and his empathy, Sherlock had his brain and his deductions, GIVE. MARY. A. GUN. And allow her to show all her knowledge as an assasin (i think that's what the first episode of S4 was trying todo but it doesn't feel right the way it was executed) and not just for badass criminal underground networking or just general abilities, make her badass as a pregnant woman. And please give me a scene with Sherlock purchasing dipers.

And, for the life of God, something that I would really have loved to see (it doesn't have to be part of the main series, it could have been an special like the Abominable Bride, but it would actuall still fit as part of the main series) is a dive into the life of some background characters, especially Molly and Lestrade. They are great characters, amazing characters, and throughout the series they have only been allowed to be a supporting role. For the second episode of S4, give Lestrade a case, one of those apparently simple ones that Sherlock would not hesitate to overlook (especially now that he's the designated babysitter) but which is, truth be told, deeply connected to the main plot of this season, which is Moriarty's net and C.A.M.'s legacy. Sherlock is still the main detective of the episode and John and Mary are there too, but give most of the screentime to Molly and Lestrade. Make them run around. Investigate. Make wrong assumptions. Get into trouble. And sure, let Sherlock save the day as often but do give them some screentime, make them significant.

All the cases throughout the season must be linked to Moriarty in some way, and at this point Sherlock is full obsessive mode. Baker Street is full of newspaper cut outs and he is really using those nicotine patches (no smoking since the baby arrived). John is worried and Mary is too so they go out like they did before the wedding but more chill. They drink and have fun and Sherlock manages to relax, to let go of the haunting image of Moriarty if only for a second. And then, when he gets home at night (Mrs. Hudson has been asleep for hours and the whole street is quiet), he lazily undoes the first button of his shirt and lets himself fall into the bed, only to notice (as the camera slowly focuses on it) a small glass bottles placed on his nightstand. It's very familiar. It contains a pill he has seen before (#throwback to a study in pink).

Sherlock goes NUTS. Obviously. Everything looks like Moriarty but he's dead, it cannot be. He's RESTLES. There's a murder, or an attempted murder, whatever you prefer. I haven't really thought about the details of this. But Sherlock and John investigate and Mycroft almost gets killed in his own house and it feels like they are walking on eggshells, like any given second everything is going to collapse. They find information about the culpid and the two of them go after him to investigate. They go to a building that used to be Moriarty's and start connecting the dots and the clues found in the previous cases.

Meanwhile, Mary is worried af because her HUSBAND isn't PICKING UP his bloody phone and the baby is crying and ahe only stops crying when Sherlock does some silly faces so where are them??? She sees a clue of where they have gone and curses because oh shit this is serious. She leaves the baby with Molly and that's when you realise Mary knows exactly who is behind all this chaos and madness, oh, and it's someone she knows, someone dangerous.

Sherlock and John are trapped in that house and the culpid let themselves be shown. Sebastian Moran. Who else would it be? S4 could have been the perfect chance to introduce him. Who else would be able to continue Moriarty's legacy after he died? Who else would be capable of fooling people into believing he was still alive? Who could have known C.A.M.? Worked with him? Planting in his mind the seed of starting all that manipulation thingy with herbivores and what else Magnussen had on? Who else would be familiar with Mary given her former line of work? Who else?

Anyway, this is merely my suggestion of how S4 could have been something remotely interesting and coherent with the other seasons without having to bring Moriarty back.

[padfootastic]

I’d also toss in (not that you don’t know this lol) that there’s a nuance to Sirius too. As plenty of authors have acknowledged, he’s a complex character to begin with—we have a lot of information about his family and background in the text that give us as readers/writers of fic the opportunity to examine how having grown up in those circumstances would impact him, but he’s also…not a one-note character?

My take on things is this: You can think Sirius is ‘dramatic’ AND recognize that he was level-headed and logical in situations when the trio contacted him for adult advice. There are a number of ways to balance those two things where you don’t reduce his character to (as you out in your tags) “Drama Queen Sirius Black,” but instead point out that a person can still be logical and enjoy their dramatics in situations where stoicism isn’t necessitated, you know?

There’s also a lot to be said for the fact that our introduction to Sirius comes after over a decade in prison, which quite obviously has impacted him, as it would anyone. Even if he was more dramatic or reckless in his youth, there’s ample evidence in the books that in most situations where his actions are directly connected to Harry/Harry’s livelihood, he’s doing his best to be cautious and thoughtful. He wants to be a good godfather to Harry, even if his last experience doing so was when he was a 21-year-old (which is a totally different experience than it may have been if he’d had a full 12 years post 1981 to learn what full-time parenting looks like).

The quote you referenced is a good example there too—he spent every year from 22-34 in prison, it’s not as if he was given much of a chance to experience a normal sense of maturity and adult responsibility before he was imprisoned. Obviously there was a war going on, but he didn’t get to, say, tacitly do his taxes and complain about the government over his morning tea during that time. He was just…stuck.

We don’t get much about azkaban as a prison (beyond some of the obvious descriptors), so there’s no textual evidence to say that he couldn’t have been developing other skills while there or having meaningful conversations with other prisoners about the world outside, but at the end of the day, he was still stuck. Even if he was reading the Prophet every day, there’s a hell of a difference between reading about the world and engaging with it, and an even larger one between reading about major historical events and taking part in them.

I think that’s analysis of “he’s basically still a 22-year-old” is probably one of the better arguments for a sense of impulsivity, because that would definitely be an adjustment for anyone to make, but even STILL, we see so much evidence of him trying to be a reliable and responsible person for Harry that it seems like a bit of a character assassination to only ever say that he was dramatic.

: o

i love this!! i’m a sucker for people more articulate than me (which is,,,most everyone lmao) actually putting this into proper words. you’re absolutely right that enjoying dramatics doesn’t have to take away from logical thinking (after all, i don’t think anyone would deny that snape wasn’t one for the ~drama while also being very competent at the same time). i guess it’s just that i don’t see even that kind of penchant for it in sirius in the first place, but that could definitely be a me thing.

i have a lot of thoughts about him being ‘stuck’ in azkaban and the kind of effects that would have on a young adults psycho-social development, so yes, that part would probably give the best rationale for impulsive sirius which makes it all the more weirder that it’s never used. only the DoM fiasco, being in hogsmeade, and molly/hermione’s words are. i don’t know if this is my sirius apologism showing but i feel like even him being stuck as a 22yo isn’t fair, considering how much we actually see from him in terms of showing responsibility, conflict management and response to trauma, dealing with children etc, especially in gof. his caginess in ootp can be attributed to factors outside his maturity/impulsivity levels too imo.

ultimately, i think sirius did his best to overcome the barriers (both internal and external) he did have to fulfill his duties as godfather and a member of the order. i think both of us agree that was quite clearly shown as well, so i guess it makes it even more frustrating that it’s glossed over for the most caricature-like of characterisations for him.

[estherdedlock]

I want to amend the mini-review I posted of The Atlas Six a couple of weeks ago, because it actually turned out not to be that bad. It was better than I was expecting for a “BookTok sensation.”

Mild spoilers ahead:

The Good Olivie Blake’s writing style is mature compared to most recent YA, although she still uses some AO3 neologisms like “his mouth quirked up into a smile” (tell me you read fanfic without telling me you read fanfic). Her take on magic is intriguingly based on science rather than mysticism or arcane spellwork, so that’s refreshing. And there is a big twist at the end that is a genuine surprise.

The Dark Academic I didn’t really get the dark academic feels, though I can see why people would. To me, this feels more like...dark capitalism? The Alexandria Society is less of a school than a secretive corporation that holds (and does business in) the human race’s entire storehouse of magical knowledge. Now that I think about it, “Dark Capitalism” could totally be an internet aesthetic.

The Not-So-Good The sciencey approach leads to long conversations about things like...the molecular structure of time travel and the physical impact of telepathy. These really slow the book down. I swear, things didn’t start to pick up until around page 250. In a 373-page book.

The characters...hmmm. I want to say they’re not likable, but that’s not really the issue. I don’t need characters to be likable, but I do want them to be enjoyable, which is not the same thing. Personally, I didn’t really enjoy these characters. Two of them (Nico and Reina) could have disappeared from the book and you wouldn’t have noticed. Blake must have liked Parisa best, because she gave her the most attention. But Parisa’s bottomless superiority complex quickly became irritating, and there’s a sex scene between her and two other characters that felt uncomfortably non-consensual to me (Parisa’s a telepath who can not just read minds but alter people’s thoughts, and she takes credit for getting these two characters to have sex---though whether she’s serious, or it’s just her usual self-importance is hard to tell).

The end of the book reveals an apocalyptic conspiracy that will involve all of “the Atlas six” initiates, but bizarrely, one of the major characters (Dalton Ellery) disappears from the story at that point. It’s as if Blake had forgotten about him, or hadn’t yet figured out what role he would play in these machinations. And that’s a real shame because of all the characters, I liked Dalton best.

There’s way too much sly teasing about what’s really going on, and who’s using who. This makes for frustrating reading. It’s clear that Blake wrote this book as the first in a series, so the whole novel is full of hints and suggestions and questions that are just left to dangle until, presumably, a future installment.

The Editing, BookTok, Publishing etc. Overall, this book would have benefited from some serious, dedicated editing, but that’s an issue I have with so many books published within the last few years. I don’t think anyone is editing books the way they used to be edited.

Even with Donna Tartt’s genius, I doubt that The Secret History would be as impeccable as it is without the guidance of a skilled editor. I think this is a role that is becoming obsolete or at least, has changed a lot from what it used to be. A book like The Atlas Six was a success before Tor Books even picked it up...so why bother editing something that was already a proven bestseller? And if the book goes to press with glaring, goofy mistakes in it (like a broken “lamp” that becomes a broken “vase” on the next page, and then is a “lamp” again three paragraphs later)...well, who cares? That didn’t stop the book from going viral on BookTok, did it?

I actually looked up the editor of TA6 and found out that she, Molly McGhee,  made some news of her own recently. She quit her job at Tor Books after the book was released and posted a bitter resignation letter on Twitter.

I have mixed feelings about this. People who work in publishing are woefully underpaid at almost all levels except the very highest, and the process for moving up in the ranks is rigid and outdated. Undoubtedly, this is because publishing is “women’s work,” and has been for probably the last 40 years or so. No joke, if you walk into a publishing company in New York City, you’ll think you’re in a sorority house. You’ll have to go up to the executive floor to find a man behind a desk. So kudos to McGhee for calling publishers out on the shabby treatment of their workforce.

However, while McGhee never calls out sexism specifically (a strange omission, IMO), she does complain at length about assistant editors like herself having to do administrative work. While I’m sure that assistant editors are burdened with too many of these duties, I think McGhee’s complaint that the executives in her company were “technologically illiterate” is just her taking a spiteful jab at her former bosses. The truth is, those executives think they’re above tasks like organizing inboxes or managing databases...and that’s nothing new. Before the digital era, high-ranking people didn’t do their own filing, and it wasn’t because they didn’t know the alphabet. This insistence that anyone born before 1985 has incurable digital dementia is snotty, ageist, and false. McGhee weakens her argument by choosing to focus on this. If she ever becomes an executive anything, I’m sure she’ll gladly leave administrative tasks to an assistant as well.

But the real issue I take with McGhee’s showy resignation is that The Atlas Six was her first acquisition...and because it’s a hit, she thought she deserved a promotion for it. But how much credit can she really take for The Atlas Six? It was a hit before McGhee ever touched it. It was a sensation two whole years ago. And, from reviews I’ve read on Goodreads, there was little difference between Blake’s self-published, unedited version and the Tor version that McGhee edited.

I wonder what effect this kind of performative quitting has. Do you think publishers will start paying assistant editors better, giving them fewer administrative tasks, and promoting them more quickly? Or will publishers decide they don’t really need assistant editors anyway? After all, the way publishing is now, they can just recruit a bunch of freelancers to monitor BookTok, and maybe Wattpad, find out what’s going viral, then buy it, print it, done.

It used to take time and labor to get a book from manuscript to hardcover, to hone it into a story that was at least a damn good read, and possibly even a masterpiece. Editors worked painstakingly alongside authors to do this. But I don’t think that happens anymore, and maybe that’s why so much fiction now feels so...unfinished. Unfocused, unsatisfying and sometimes, just peppered with mistakes. As in, actual typos. The publisher’s goal with something like The Atlas Six was not to polish it into a gem, but to get it out the door while it still had its BookTok buzz. And it obviously doesn’t matter because these books are making money, probably more money than some of the most brilliant authors ever earned. So Molly McGhee might have a point to make about the unrewarded value that editors bring to the book business, but there’s a good chance she’s already too late. In a landscape of BookTok and self-published viral sensations, the book business may be realizing it doesn’t need editors at all.

[ickle-ronniekins]

black & white

request: from nonnie: ASDFGhjkl. Why are your fics so CUTE? 😭 Can I request a cute and cheesy George proposing to the fem!reader—and they’re wedding? 💜

desc: a love story unfolded via a timeline of events and colors. based on the song ‘black and white’ by niall horan

pairing: george x fem!reader

word count: 5.5k

warning(s): lil bit of angst, alcohol, some sexual content if you squint but it stops before things ~heat up~

A/N: this is just pure fluff. may or may not have cried at the cheesiness. idk. i’m a cheesy gal. can’t help it. i’m in love with a fictional character. sorry i went a tad overboard with this. also let’s pretend ~voldy~ doesn’t exist in this k? reminder that my requests are currently closed, i am merely working through the requests already in my inbox. i do not give permission for my work to be posted on any other platform.

Red

Red, hot fury swept through your bones as you watched him laugh hysterically alongside his brother. You balled your fists together, ready to throw a punch, but you knew your mum would lock you in your room until you were forty years of age if you even thought of throwing hands.

George Weasley was a pretentious little git. It was bad enough that he was your neighbour and you had to see him and his equally annoying twin in the village nearly every day, but what made it even worse was that for whatever reason, he’d chosen you to be on the receiving end of all of his pranks. His mother, Molly, was not for it -- she often gave her sons a solid tongue lashing, but it clearly never made an impact, for each and every day they were back to their normal mischief, seeking out ways to make you shake with anger.

“Weasley!” you squeaked as he and his brother ran back across the field toward their home. You loathed the idea of being in the same school as him in just two years time. At least here, at home, you could escape to your own house and your own room, far away from the boy who teasingly threw a red paint balloon all over you and your new dress. But at school, well -- the castle was only so big, wasn’t it? You weren’t sure how far away from him you’d be able to get.

You watched as he and Fred ran away, their giggles echoing through the air on top of the hill. You looked down at your ruined dress and screamed. You reckoned you’d never be able to love the colour red ever again -- not when it had ruined your beautiful purple dress, and especially when it was the colour of his annoying, messy hair.

Yellow

“I’m really sorry.”

He was standing across from you in the field. You thought about telling him that you needed to take four showers in order to get all of the red paint from your hair, and that your dress was permanently stained, but instead you folded your arms across your chest and huffed a bit. Not even magic could salvage it.

“I promise, I mean it,” he squeaked, as if he could read your mind. He seemed sincere, but he was always getting into all types of trouble, wasn’t he? Perhaps he was as good a liar as he was a pranker.

You kicked at the dirt, unsure of what to say. “You ruined my dress.”

“I know, I’m really sorry,” he said again, “it was all Freddie’s doing! I know he normally takes charge of pranks, but blimey, I told him it wasn’t a good idea.”

You arched your eyebrows up in surprise. “You did?”

“Yeah,” George told you. The wind ruffled the leaves on the tree next to you both, and you watched him tentatively as a big smile split his face. He wandered over to the tree trunk and picked at the flowers that were growing at the base. Then he turned around, marched right over to you, and handed them to you.

Yellow dandelions. You peered down at them, and then looked up at him in surprise. This wouldn’t fix your dress, but he was trying, at least. You noticed the dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.”

You couldn’t help it; you blushed and looked toward the ground. You picked a bit at the flowers and met George’s gaze once again. “You still owe me, Weasley.”

You both heard Molly calling him for dinner. “Okay, mum!” he called back, his voice echoing against the wind. He turned back toward you. “Promise. I owe you. I also promise to kick Fred’s arse since it was his idea anyway.”

A squeak of a giggle emitted from your lips and you watched as George Weasley skipped all the way home.

Blue

All of Ravenclaw house erupted into cheers as the colours of the Great Hall changed to celebrate the momentous occasion of your house winning the Quidditch Cup. It had been a neck to neck match against Gryffindor, but had you not caught the snitch before Harry, they would have had it in the bag for the third year in a row.

“At the risk of sounding like I’m pro Ravenclaw, I’ve got to say, you guys put up a great match,” you whirled around in the crowd and saw George standing in front of you. He had his hands in his pockets and he shrugged, clearly upset at a Gryffindor loss, but at least they hadn’t lost to Slytherin, right? “You really are a wicked Seeker.”

“Thanks, Weasley,” you said triumphantly, both pleased with yourself for winning but also feeling a little bit guilty for beating Gryffindor.

“When did you get so good anyway?”

“Hmm,” you placed your hand to your chin and pretended to be deep in thought, “do you mean, how did I get to be so incredible? I don’t have an answer for you, truthfully, reckon I was just born with it.”

Students filtered around you both, and you watched him laugh as blue confetti fell around the both of you and the rest of the Great Hall. Personally you thought it was a little much, but the captain had insisted. You met George’s gaze again though, and rolled your eyes.

“Oi, mate,” you heard Fred call. He reached his twin and threw an arm around his shoulders, “what’re you doing over here, conversing with the enemy?” You rolled your eyes yet again, something you found yourself doing quite often with the two of them, and Fred just grinned obnoxiously at you. “Only joking, Y/N. I suppose if anyone had to beat us, we’re glad it’s Ravenclaw. But if you repeat that, we’ll deny it, I swear to Merlin.”

“My lips are sealed, Freddie.”

You bid them both adieu before turning back to your house, celebrating and clinking your goblets of pumpkin juice together, and through the yelps and the cheers, you missed George say to Fred that he actually quite liked the way the Great Hall looked, all decorated in blue.

Orange

“How about you get to work on the ground Unicorn horn, and I’ll try and get this water crystalized?” you offered.

Today’s lesson was to brew the Oculus Potion, in the event any of you ever needed to restore someone’s sight. In an attempt to separate them, Snape had paired George with you and Fred with another Ravenclaw who didn’t look happy at all at the prospect of having him as her partner. You peered over the cauldron at George and said, “No worries. We’ve only got thirteen steps. I reckon if we keep at this without any distractions, we’ll be finished before the rest of class.”

“Better get cracking, then,” George replied.

The two of you worked in comfortable silence; you tensed a few times when Snape meandered by your table, peering down into your cauldron and scoffing, for you were certain that an attempt at any type of potion would never live up to his unrealistic expectations of two sixteen-year-olds.

A little while later, you realized that the heat emitting from all of the cauldrons was making the entire classroom incredibly warm. “Blimey, could he open a bloody window, or something?” you asked, ignoring the fact that there were absolutely no windows in the dungeons. George laughed and continued to add the crystalized water into your cauldron as you pulled your sweater over your head, leaving you in your white button down and blue and grey tie. You pulled your hair back off of your neck and said, “Alright, be sure to only add the water until it turns indigo, George.”

The poor lad hadn’t been paying attention, because your potion was far past indigo at this point. In fact, it looked as though it had turned a deep, navy blue, bordering on black, as George peered at you with soft eyes and continued to pour in the crystalized water, not realizing that he was messing up your carefully brewed potion. A snapping noise pulled him from his thoughts, and a slight explosion erupted from your cauldron and caused black smoke to cover George’s face and hair.

Most of the class began to laugh, but Snape angrily shushed them and sauntered over to the two of you, clearly giddy beyond belief that he was able to deduct points from both of your houses for causing such a ruckus in his precious dungeons. George wiped a bit of the soot from his forehead as you poured in the antidote and giggled.

“Merlin, I’m sorry -- didn’t mean to get points taken from your house.”

“Eh, it was bound to happen sooner or later.. don’t worry about it. Look! Good as new,” you clapped your hands together as the potion turned to the desired shade of orange before the final two steps. You met George’s look through the orange haze over your cauldron and asked him, “What had you so distracted anyway, Weasley?”

“Oh, erm -- nothing,” he replied a bit quickly. It didn’t go unnoticed how he’d stumbled over his words and immediately went back to looking rather intently at the directions. You bit back a smile and looked back down at yours too, unable to rid yourself of the nerves bubbling up inside of you as George looked up once again, stealing glances at you through the orange mist as nerves overtook him, too.

Green

“You had no right to do that! What the bloody hell were you thinking?”

George was standing across from you on the empty dance floor; the Yule Ball had ended abruptly and each and every student had filtered from the Great Hall and back to their respective dormitories, per the teachers. The two of you had managed to stay somehow, now more than ten feet away; you looked at one another with envy as a dramatic scene unfurled between you both.

The entire night had been nothing but a dream, up until that one dance. You’d waltzed in, your light green dress swaying beautifully near your ankles, your hand wrapped around your date’s arm. You waved to your friends, who stood with their respective dates as well, and promised yourself you’d catch up with them at the end of the night when you’d undoubtedly have stories to tell them of the most magical evening of your life.

Except that wasn’t how it worked out, had it?

“He was all over you!” George called, and you noticed how prominent the veins in his hands were when he threw them up in the air. “You said no, didn’t you? He asked you to come back to his dorm and you’d said no. Did you expect me to stand there and do nothing when he grabbed your wrists and tried to pull you there?”

George was right. You had said no, and truthfully, the way your date had grabbed you and attempted to drag you back to his room had really frightened you. You reckoned it was the firewhisky he’d drunk earlier that evening -- he wasn’t violent or anything, but he seemed desperate to get you there. All George had done was step in and stand up for you, so why on earth should you be angry at him?

You didn’t want to give George the satisfaction of letting him know that he was right. You were mad at him for other reasons, anyway. It should’ve been you that he asked to the ball, not that other disturbingly annoying Beauxbatons girl. It’s like he’d picked her particularly because he knew her annoying, bubbly personality and thick French accent would get right under your skin.

You softened a bit as you took a deep breath. “I appreciate what you did, George, but it wasn’t your place. I can take care of myself. He nearly knocked you right out!”

George winced at your words and brought a hand to his black and blue eye. He hadn’t even had the time to grab some ice and place it to the injury, and it was now rather swollen. “I don’t care if he knocked me to the bloody ground, I wasn’t going to let him do that to you!”

You couldn’t help it; anger took you over and you were saying things you shouldn’t have before you could second guess yourself. “Well you know what, George? Perhaps he wouldn’t have had the chance to try anything with me if you’d just bloody asked me to the ball first instead of that stuffy Beauxbatons girl!”

You knew your words hurt him, but you didn’t care. He looked as though he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him; he stepped backward and faltered a bit. His breathing became heavy and irregular. “You already had your date when I asked her, Y/N -- don’t you dare try and pin this on me.”

He was right, yet again. You couldn’t help it. Big, fat tears were falling down your face now and you reckoned you wouldn’t be able to salvage the rest of the hideousness that was this evening. You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and noticed the smears of black mascara and eyeliner on your skin. He inched forward now and opened his arms, but you backed away, still not ready to show him any affection.

You were being a git, but the truth was, you’d waited until the very last possible second for George to ask you to the ball. So when he didn’t, you begrudgingly agreed to the Hufflepuff who’d stepped forward and asked you himself. And as you walked swiftly passed George and up the steps to your common room, you realized that though you’d said yes, your heart had been with the Weasley boy you so adored the entire evening.

In truth, what he’d done was brave and full of love and passion. But you were still filled with hurt.

The green monster of jealousy that you’d felt when you’d watched him dance with his date was such a vice, but you just couldn’t help how you felt.

You left George alone in the desolate Great Hall as he let his head fall into his hands, pushing down his fury and tears.

Grey

You hadn’t gone back to him, that boy from the Yule Ball. You thought about it, but you figured you’d spare George more anger.

He’d approached you, your date, the day afterwards, apologizing profusely for his behaviour and how embarrassed he was at the whole ordeal. He’d asked you for lunch, only if you were okay, and you politely declined. “Friends,” you’d said, and he smiled pitifully, but gratefully, and took your hand in his to shake it.

It was so stupid, wasn’t it? Fighting with George over this. So he hadn’t asked you to the Yule Ball, so what? It wasn’t the end all, be all, was it? And he’d stood up for you, hadn’t he? When things had gotten a little out of control. He hadn’t been your date, but he had been your saviour.

It had only been a week since the dance and you two hadn’t said a word to one another. Fred had begged you too. “Come on, Y/N, you know he’s real sorry. Can’t you just forgive him? Blimey, it’s a right difficult thing to do, splitting my time between you both.”

You merely pressed your lips together and huffed. “He can come apologize to me himself, Fred. He doesn’t need you to do it for him.”

But later that afternoon, you figured, why wait? This whole thing was so dramatic and stupid. And so after rereading the same page eight times due to your lack of concentration, you jumped up from your chair in the Ravenclaw common room and made way toward the Great Hall, as fast as your legs could carry you. You were just going to tell him exactly that -- that this entire thing was dumb, and that you were thankful for him, and that bloody hell, you missed him. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic -- it had only been six days, right? You couldn’t help it. You missed him. You missed him a lot.

The thought of finally speaking to him after a very dramatic week apart made your heart flutter, and a very wide smile split your face just as you were about to round the last bend before the Great Hall.

And then you saw it. Them. Tucked away in a corner near a deserted classroom -- tangled together, George’s hands on her waist, hers in his long red hair. Her lips nearly on his. Smiling, giggling. Kissing him.

That bloody annoying Beauxbatons girl.

You stopped short and nearly tripped over your own two feet. You opened your mouth to speak but just let your mouth tremble in silence as you watched them snog one another. Her laugh was so painfully sugary sweet, you felt as though you’d like to rip your own hair out.

You were surprised how quickly the sight of them had sent your heart plummeting into your stomach. Somewhere in the few moments when you stood there in shock, your vision had become blurry and your face had become wet. You wiped at it with your sweater sleeve and sniffled quietly so they wouldn’t hear you. You spun on your heel and sped back toward your common room, wondering what the bloody hell had come over you when you thought of apologizing to him. You just wanted to get back to your dorm. Or perhaps back to your house in Ottery St. Catchpole. Stupid, silly girl you were.

If only you knew that George had spotted you before you’d left and froze solid in the spot he was standing, ignoring the forwardness of the Beauxbatons girl attached to his arm, his heart and mind chasing you all the way home.

Purple

The Ravenclaw common room was completely empty except for you. You always did this, though -- each and every year, you were always the last to finish packing. Not because you were a procrastinator, but because you hated admitting to yourself that another year was over, and you were another year closer to impending graduation.

Someone popped through the door and said your name softly. You turned and saw George standing there with a small smile on his face. “Hey,” he said, “train’s here. You almost ready to go?”

You groaned and looked back down at your trunk, now fully packed. “If I’ve got to be.” You felt like an absolute idiot that those few words brought tears to your eyes so easily. “Oi, here I go again.”

George laughed lightly and pulled you into a hug. “We’ll be back in no time, you’ll see again how quickly the summer holidays go.”

“But George, it’s our last year!” you cried. And then you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, because you didn’t fancy the idea of boarding the train with smudged makeup and a red nose. “Anyway, shall we?”

When you grabbed your trunk and headed toward the door, George gently took your hand in his and turned you around. “I’ve got something for you actually.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at him and clapped your hands together. “A present? It’s not even my birthday.”

But then you wondered if it was actually a present he wanted to give you, because he took your other hand in his and squeezed them, a serious look on his face. Your features twisted into that of confusion, and you’d be lying if you said that your heartbeat didn’t increase at the sight of him looking at you so earnestly. “What is it?”

“I’ve been a real git this year. Specifically, the Yule Ball. And a little while after that.”

You laughed and playfully shoved him. Though you still felt the sting of those few weeks, you two had managed to patch things up. He hadn’t lasted that long with that Beauxbatons girl anyway. “George, we’ve been over this, c’mon -- you were only doing what you thought was right. I’ve forgiven you, you know.”

“I know,” he smiled, and you could tell that he was equally as glad as you were that you two had placed that argument behind you. But what you two hadn’t touched on since then was what you’d said to him in a fit of fury: Perhaps he wouldn’t have had the chance to try anything with me if you’d just bloody asked me to the ball first instead of that stuffy Beauxbatons girl!

Of course he’d wanted to ask you. He’d wanted to ask you more than anything in the entire world, but each and every time he’d opened his mouth to say something, he couldn’t. Bloody nerves, and all that. Then he went and acted like a prat, making you cry, and he vowed to himself that he’d never make you cry again, unless it were happy tears.

“I realized I’ve never properly made it up to you -- not asking you to the the Yule Ball in the first place, and that time when we were nine.”

You raised your eyebrows suspiciously. “When we were nine? What the bloody hell happened when we were nine?”

And then he pulled from his pocket the most beautiful lavender pendant you ever did see. The circular stone was outlined in the same silver as the chain, and the sun flooding in from the windows made it sparkle more than anything you’d ever seen in your life. Your breath caught in your throat and you looked back and forth from the necklace to George, and back again.

“I ruined your purple dress, remember?” he asked you. He laughed a bit, probably thinking about the ridiculous way you’d looked with red paint splattered all over you. You couldn’t believe he remembered that. “Now, it’s not a dress, but seeing as we’ve grown up a bit since then, I reckoned you’d prefer something a little nicer.” He swallowed over a lump in his throat before continuing. “I never fancied her, you know. That girl from Beauxbatons. I just...” he trailed off, searching for words he couldn’t seem to muster up. You wondered if he could hear the dramatic thump of your heart, beating loudly in the heavy silence. “It doesn’t matter. It was you I wanted to be with that night, and long after. I still do.”

Then he brushed aside your hair and placed the pendant around your neck. You peered at him through blurry vision, and surprised yourself that you were now crying due to the tenderness of his touch and the emotion in his gift and not that you two were about the board the train and leave school, no longer the same two people you were just a few moments ago.

You did the only thing you could think of and you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. You felt his shock, but it took him only mere milliseconds before he was kissing you back. In truth, you’d been wondering what it would feel like to kiss him -- the taste of him, the feel of your limbs entangled together, exactly how high your heart would soar. It was exactly the way first kisses were meant to be -- slow, and easy, and warm, the way it’s supposed to feel after having swam all day long -- your body limp and muscles de-tensing. You moulded perfectly with him, and when gravity (or rather, the first signal of the train’s departure) pulled you from one another, he peered at you with such affection that you felt as though you might explode.

You grabbed the pendant and held in gently in between your fingers, already having memorized the outline of the silver and the different shades of purple within it. “I am so bloody happy you threw red paint at me that day, Weasley.”

He laughed haughtily, throwing his head back before swinging an arm around your waist and pulling your trunk toward the exit of the Ravenclaw common room. “Merlin, me too.”

White

You were sitting at your kitchen table, ignoring the massive amount of work in front of you to admire your other hard work. Your cozy little flat looked just as you always imagined it would, with the added bonus of your boyfriend in the corner of the front entrance, fixing a loose coat hanger on the wall.

Never in your life did you imagine that things could be as perfect as this.

You couldn’t help but wonder if it would be a flat you two would share one day.

You got up and brought with you his half empty glass of wine and handed it to him. Gratefully he took it and sipped before pressing a feather light kiss to your forehead. But then you gently traced his jawline with your finger, down his neck, across his collar bone until he followed your move and leaned in to kiss you. It was soft and chaste and everything like your first one had been. But as the alcohol worked its way through your veins, you found yourself pressing yourself harder against him.

A moan of content escaped him as you bit down on his lip and slipped your hands underneath his shirt, hands pressed against his chest. Unashamedly, you pulled him toward your bedroom, and he placed his empty wine glass next to yours on the table as he kicked the door closed.

The two of you fell backwards onto the bed in an entanglement of limbs. He hovered above you, dropping down a bit to press light kisses to your neck, in between your collarbones, behind your ears, against your jawline. You so desperately wanted to feel his weight on top of you, and so you yanked him firmly against you and kissed him in a way that there was no aching way that he wouldn’t be able to tell exactly what you wanted.

He began to undo the buttons on your shirt, taking time to press kisses into your chest at the exposed places before he stopped himself and gently ran his hands across your hips, and then your cheek. His voice was merely a whisper in the deafening silence, “Are you sure?”

He gazed at you with such tenderness and love that you knew he’d stop, if you’d asked him to. He wouldn’t go another inch further if you weren’t ready. And for you, that was more than enough.

“I’m sure.”

He sucked in a breath and dipped down to press lips to yours gently before continuing to make light work of your clothes. He explored every inch of you, and the sensation of his lips gently grazing your skin caused you to arch your back in pleasure. You could feel him smiling against you, wildly in love, handling you with such care as if you were a tiny glass figure he was afraid of breaking. He held you so delicately and worked his way through each and every single one of your wants with slow and gentle hands.

You’d known it was love with him; maybe not consciously, but you’d known it long before now. Love, filled with intensity and desire and longing, in its most vulnerable and fragile form -- pure, and blinding white.

Pink

The summer air wafted in through the open window in the kitchen, and you listened to Mrs. Weasley hum some Muggle song as she set the table for dessert. You placed the finishing touches on the lemon meringue pie you baked, special because it was George’s favourite and Mrs. Weasley had insisted.

You had to admit, he’d always had the outside exterior of a tough guy, but owning a business did absolute wonders for his confidence. You noticed the way he stood up a little straighter, smiled a little bigger, and most of all, just how much he gushed about all the plans you two would be able to act on, now that you were both making income of your own.

“Merlin’s beard, Y/N, you’ve absolutely knocked it out of the park with this pie, if I do say so myself.” Arthur’s praise was nothing short of wonderful; you felt the tips of your ears turn pink at his compliments. By the way Ron slouched back in his chair, looking rather chuffed indeed, you could tell he felt the same exact way. Especially when he reached for the last piece, but Hermione slapped his hand away.

“Oh my!” Molly yelped suddenly. You jumped in surprise in your seat. “Oh, Georgie dear, would you mind wandering into the field before dark? I’d love some wildflowers for the table,”

“Sure thing, mum.” George replied before turning to you and squeezing your hand. “Want to tag along?”

You said, “Of course” at the exact same time Ron said “I’ll come along too, I could use a good walk” and if you hadn’t been so focused on George’s tender gaze, you almost would’ve missed Fred silently hissing at Ron and Hermione slapping his hand yet again. “On second thought,” Ron swallowed thickly, “I’d better stay here and help you clean up, mum.”

“Atta boy, Ronniekins,” Molly said. To you and George, she continued, “You two better get going -- not long now before it turns dark!”

George stood and pulled you to your feet. “You coming, love?”

“I go where you go.”

About twenty minutes later, as the setting sun had blended with the light purples and pinks of the sky, you’d found yourself with a rather beautiful bouquet of wildflowers for Molly. You turned to George, who was leaning against the tree and smiling at you, and asked, “Shall we get going darling? Don’t want to be too late. I reckon your mum will come out here searching for us if we spend an evening among the stars.”

“Doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea, actually.” His grin deepened, and then he said, “you’re lucky I don’t have any pranks up my sleeve right now.”

You look up at the tree and recognized the place where he’d infuriated you all those long years ago. You rolled your eyes and shook your head before twirling in your dress. “I am lucky. I was able to get a new dress after the one you so lovingly ruined. Though I will admit -- I wasn’t all that big of a fan of those puffy sleeves. This one’s much more adult.”

George arched his eyebrow in surprise before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. “Oh yes it is.”

You slapped him playfully and pointed your finger at him. “Alright you prat, calm yourself, you’ll have to wait until we get back to our flat for any funny business.”

But then you realized, as George’s features turned from mischievous to genuine within the matter of seconds, that there was definitely more pressing matters than funny business on his mind.

And then he was telling you how he’d only teased you back then because he’d found you so bloody cute, and how he should’ve asked you to the Yule Ball and regretted every single day that he didn’t, and how he’d never met anyone who could play Quidditch quite as well as you, and how bloody happy he’d been when you’d kissed him that day in the Ravenclaw common room. And then knelt down and he asked it, the words you’d imagined since you were a little girl, strung together with such fondness and emotion and tenderness that you weren’t quite sure how you were standing upright.

You’d already begun to nod quickly through your tears before he finished, but would he really be George Weasley if he didn’t tease you, just a little? “Say yes,” he laughed, “say yes and marry me and be my wife for as long as you’ll have me.”

He slid the ring onto your finger and kissed you and picked you up and whirled you around in the field and held you gently in his arms as though you were a precious glass figurine and he was doing everything in his power to hold you delicately.

“Yes. I say yes.”

Black & White

You asked, When did you first know?

And he answered, I always knew.

You both ran back up the aisle, your white dress fluttering around your ankles, his black suit hugging the curves of his arms, and into the field and away from the party, momentarily, to celebrate your first moments as husband and wife in the place where he’d figured it all out.

He’d known since that afternoon when he’d handed you those yellow dandelions that he would bring you back here one day, to ask you to be his wife. He’d known, in the Ravenclaw common room when he gave you that purple pendant, still dangling from your neck, that one day he’d also give you a ring. He’d known, all those long years ago, that he wanted to marry you, and that you would say yes, when he’d finally ask.

And now, in front of your friends and family, he’d vowed to love you -- love in it’s purest and simplest form, love -- with all it’s sentiment and emotion and vulnerability. He vowed to love you and only you for the rest of his life.

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @acciotwinz @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbstrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook @izzytheninja @imboredandneedalife @hemmoporro @valwritesx @heavenlymidnight @hannolannno @msmimimerton @oh-for-merlins-sake @hufflepuff5972 @pigwidgexn @sarcasticallywitty15 @breadqueen95 @mycupoffanfictionreads | message me to be added or removed!

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Sept. 29, 2020)

@eponymous-rose‘s internet is out tonight, so I’m here late and without coffee! Let’s see how many typos we can fit into an hour and a half episode.

Tonight’s guests: Ashley Williams JOHNSON, oops!! & Liam O’Brien!

We open with Brian in light-up vented sunglasses and Henry at his side, as always. Dani is very excited to be back and has fun-buns in her hair tonight. So cute! Everyone talks about how much they’re Zooming these days for work, and Liam mentions he and Matt & Marisha did a digital cocktail night. He and Dani arrange on camera to have a distanced, masked meetup in the park so Dani can see Liam’s dog again.

No announcements! Tonight, we’re discussin’ episodes 110 and 111.

Starting with the end, Brian jumps right to it by asking how they feel that Molly is alive. Liam 100% thought we’d be back to him, but still wasn’t ready when it happened. Caleb doubted he was alive. Both Liam & Ashley marvel at the numerology that keeps cropping up throughout the show. Brian hates not being able to see it at the same time the show happens live; Ashley was biting her tongue not telling him spoilers. (He doesn’t want to hear spoilers unless Yasha dies so he can be there for Ashley if needed.) Brian says he has a little reality trauma from the night Pike died in the pre-stream game; it was the first time he’d realized how much it affected the players.

Ashley’s realized how much she misses unpacking the game with Brian when they get home. She just has to sit with it until everyone else gets to see it. Brian: “Instead she comes home and I have to fill her in on the Real Housewives of Amarillo, Texas.”

Reunion dinner with Trent! Liam talks about how the way things unfolded with Trent is not at all how he imagined it in his pre-game creation; he’d expected more of a fracas, more of an unexpected clash. “Caleb might have been a different person if he’d run into these people earlier in the story. The M9 changed him before [Trent & co] came back and got to him.” He’d imagined Astrid & Eodwulf to be complicated encounters, but says what Matt’s designed has been even harder than that. A fight on a mountain is one thing, but walking into a room with “what Trent dropped, is impossible to cope with.” It also means that if what Trent said is true, anything Caleb does now is effectively of Trent’s design, even killing him.

He doesn’t think Caleb would have gone anywhere near Trent & co without the M9. “The Mighty Nein--it took a long time--but they cracked Caleb open like a walnut.”

He thinks what Matt has done is much more murky than the simplicity of murder, such as the Briarwood arc. He can’t just exact his revenge now.

Liam says that the tempation to tinker with time is no longer as all-consuming as it was. He might still be tempted if Matt dangles a bunch of carrots in front of him, but he thinks that now it might be better to make sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore for anyone else (!!!). “It’s still a nugget in his brain and it’s still possible he could be tempted by the drug, but what he wanted in the beginning was entirely selfish, but now that the M9 are involved he owes it to them, to the people of the country, even on the Dynasty side--is so complex that if Caleb were to get that carrot and chase it, he would be risking everything.”

Ashley agrees that most of their choices are no longer black and white. Many of the situations feel more like real life. Liam agrees and says he’ll sometimes make decisions that he’s both really happy with and regrets at the same time. They both look forward to what Matt will reveal in Act 3.

Brian feels it’s tough to gauge how deep they are into what Matt’s planned for the campaign. Liam says that thanks to Matt’s skill, he really doesn’t know what Caleb wants right now.

Ashley agrees, and talks about how she created Yasha to have more to overcome than Pike. She loves what Matt’s doing in terms of allowing each of them to overcome more emotional hurdles than physical ones in this campaign.

Going back to Molly’s grave was very exciting for Ashley since she wasn’t able to be there when he died in the game & wanted to do what she could to honor him. Yasha, however, was very hesitant but knew what needed to be done. She’s not very open with her emotions, but both she & Ashley were stressed. They all could feel the energy in the studio & knew Matt was about to do something mind-blowing. Liam: “You could feel all the dust in the air coalescing around Taliesin.”

Brian trips over Eodwulf. Liam tries to help him find some pronunciation shortcuts. Ashley: “You say it so beautifully.” Brian: “Thank you.” Ashley: “Not you.”

Caleb knows how wickedly intelligent & ambitious Astrid is, and was heartened by the wavering he saw in her at the dinner. However, he can’t trust her until he knows why she’s where she is.

He really feels that if they’d had this dinner 60 episodes ago, Caleb might have tilted back along the evil axis and he would have had to retire the character. He had a playlist entirely for if Caleb turned evil and left the party.

The vision of Zuala was a huge deal for Yasha, even along every other instance she’s had of being mind-controlled, etc. “That’s guilt I think she will always carry with her, but at least she’s starting to forgive herself.” Losing the chains, sprouting wings again--Ashley reiterates that she didn’t know that was even a possibility, she just picked the skeletal wings because they were dope--were huge moments in the character development. Ashley’s glad Beau was there at the moment of the first flight; Ashley thinks of the quotation “Happiness is only beautiful when it’s shared,” and because Yasha tends to keep things very much to herself, having someone there to share it made it more impactful. “That was a cool moment. There’s been a lot of healing for Yasha these last episodes.”d

Ashley also says sometimes in that moment, when all eyes are on you in a one-on-one with Matt, everything goes muffled like Saving Private Ryan. “Wub wub wub.”

Dani feels that the only way she could even have the conversation with Zuala was to let her go in the first place.

Liam thinks one of the things that Yasha & Cad share is that still waters run deep. He loves how much Yasha hangs back sometimes, only to then reveal some new moment like the fighting pit. Apparently Ashley also has a knife collection, and uses that metal side of herself when she wants to let that new side of Yasha show.

Cosplay of the Week: Crystal Armstead (@riyuski on twitter) in a Reani cosplay. Beautiful!

How does Liam feel about the return to Rexxentrum? Very, very complicated. Caleb loves magic and lights up when he sees it, which is wrapped in the Soltryce Academy; he brought folks to the dance hall for the same reason, which was wanting the M9 to see the things that he loved about the city.

Yasha felt the same way about visiting the Chantry of the Dawn. It was a memory of a very traumatic moment (almost killing Beau), but given everything that’s happened between then and now it was cathartic to see again. There’s been a lot of healing in the past few weeks. It also felt like a physical representation of Yasha’s growth, the last time she was controlled against her will like that (or at least, until she was mind-controlled by Vokodo. Ashley sighs, aggrieved.)

Brian: “The tower really feels like a love letter from Caleb to his friends.” Liam: “It is, and a love letter from Liam to his friends.” When he looked at Caleb’s spell list, he remembered how amazing the mansion was in Campaign One and how many role-playing moments it led to and knew he wanted to incorporate it. However, he knew it could never be the same as Scanlan’s mansion because Caleb doesn’t have the same improvisational genius as Scanlan does. Liam has been “tinkering with this machine” for over a year, waiting for the moment to reveal it. He loves that he got a chance to see Jester’s room in time to have her tower room reflect reality. He’d discussed the tower extensively with Dani & Matt. Brian: “Hey! What am I, chopped--what’s the saying?” Ashley: “Chopped cabbage?”

Ashley marvels at the design of the dome. Liam talks about how Caleb knowing Caleb has been abused has been slowly getting better, but he also loves now being able to juxtapose that healing with his innate love of magic and how beautiful he finds it, how he loves to use magic as his artistry. The Soltryce Academy wasn’t “Welcome to DEATH SCHOOL,” it was the Sorbonne. It was amazing, everything he wanted. It was only one bad apple within that recruited him and turned it all bad.

Liam also points out how much it means in real life to be able to express his love and care for his friends in person too.

Ashley talks about how much she loves Yasha’s armor in a meta sense because it’s so cool and useful, and great for her armor class, but struggles with what it represents in game. She might not be able to let it go due to its sheer utility, and she may have to find an in-game reason to justify keeping it.

Ashley segues a moment into talking about her velvet top which apparently has a matching velvet scrunchie. She’s asked to demonstrate the scrunchie and ties her hair up in a way that I have never in my life seen someone do with a scrunchie before, and my hair’s been waist-length most of my life. I watch it again in slow motion. How did she DO that??

Caleb’s been looking for the right time to tell Jester about his past for a long time. She’s a good person and makes him feel like he might be capable of becoming a good person at the end, because that’s how she saw him. Liam knew from Laura that Jester wouldn’t condemn him, but Caleb put it off as long as possible. He also wanted to take the time to make sure Caduceus & Yasha knew the whole story too before they went to dinner with Trent.

Liam was also relieved to get it out, because he could never remember who knew and who didn’t, and now he doesn’t have to track it anymore. “Now we can move forward. Now we can heal wounds, maybe.”

Ashley feels Cad picks up a lot, more than most people realize. Yasha was really affected by Cad’s line: “Patience can be good, but it can lead to apathy.” She really feels it opened her eyes, and she appreciated the simplicity of him pointing out her hair’s growing back white again. Having a friend notice “hey, you’re changing for the better” really means a lot. She’s interested in seeing how this means things might change with Beau.

Dani points out that it also reinforced for Yasha that she can want things too--she can be patient and just continue to be with the group, as she’s wanted, but it’s okay to want more than that too. Ashley remembers Veth asking her what her purpose is. There’s a part of her that knows Yasha is still figuring that out, and she’s interested to see how Yasha will continue to change. She’s always spent her life serving somebody--the Sky Spear, Obann--and then even after she joined the M9, it was very centered on “what do you need, what does the group need, how can I help with our next job?” She’s going to have to take some time to figure out what she wants.

Fanart of the Week! Lovely Yasha & Beau flight art by @JMNP7888. The wings look amazing!

Brian: “One of the things we want to talk to you about, Liam, is about the Vokodo fight and the FUCKING disintegrate spell.”

Liam: “That was one of the most insane 60-90 seconds of gameplay that ever existed for the table, and definitely for me, in the entire history of the show. A lot of people think I just went, oh man, just bet it all on black. But what if I told you that...I Larkin’d the first 20 seconds of that fight and then at a quarter to midnight, I forgot that the reflection was a thing? I just forgot it was a thing! I spent that whole battle thinking I’m just here to banish things. I might buff my friends a little bit, maybe I’ll counterspell, but I’m just here to banish. And it didn’t work and it didn’t work and then it did! Finally it did and Jester made it work and then he was GONE. And then everyone got greedy and it was done but we brought him BACK. And it was a quarter to midnight and I’m not an animatronic D&D lesson machine, I’m just a guy playing D&D at 11:45 at night, and he came back and everyone started Goodfellas circling him and kicking him, and Beau & Yasha are gonna kill him, and then it’s my turn? Disintegrate! And then the room was quiet, and then time passed, and Matt asked, you really cast Disintegrate? And I said yes, of course, and Matt started rolling dice, and in the back of my head I started wondering why he asked if I was rolling Disintegrate. Oh no. In the back of my brain, I was like, well, just tell him that’s not what you did. Tell him you didn’t remember the reflection thing. But he’s already rolling dice! You can’t take it back now. Hold on a second. I’m going to take you on the journey I went through. I was thinking: you have a spell save of 17. This thing wasn’t that fast. +1, +2, maybe? Anything under 14 is okay. That’s 70%. 70%. That’s okay, right? And still no one said anything to tip me off that I was in ELDRITCH MADNESS at that point, no one said anything about the reflection! And then I realize it can reflect back on us, and I realize this is...disintegrate. And then I started becoming morbidly, macabre-ly fascinated at the puppet dance of death I had created. Well, this is a mess. I have made a mess. Let’s just sit in it. And somehow, nonsensically, spectacularly, it worked out in my favor. I went home that night and I got in bed next to my wife, who was fast asleep, and I stared at the ceiling going, dude. Duuuuuuuude. Duuuuuuuuuude.”

He apparently also told his therapist about this and how terrible it was and how close he “danced myself to the precipice like a crazy person!” Marisha (as told by Liam): “Epic roll, though.”

Matt told Liam that night that if it had been reflected, it would have gone back on him. “If a player throws an M80 in the middle of a room, it would reflect on that player who threw it.”

Ashley talks about how interesting that Yasha is not performative, and yet has been doing these public performances with the harp. It’s a great experiment for Ashley--Yasha doesn’t like the attention, but feels like she is making something beautiful for the world.” She’s trying to change something about how she views herself & her place in the world. She was raised to be a weapon for the Sky Spear, but she’s also extremely gentle and loves flowers & beautiful music, and the further away she’s gotten from the tribe, she’s falling in love with gentle, beautiful things. 

Liam also points out it easy (real, but simplistic) to make an entire character centered around a single personality trait: “I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time.” He thinks it’s more realistic to see nuance in personality.

Liam can see some paths for Caleb to find peace & do good. He doesn’t know if Caleb is conscious of those. He thinks it’s a huge step forward to admit he was molded in this direction at all and that it wasn’t all his choice, but doesn’t know if this is the same possibility as redemption.

He also mentions Essek in this answer: there was/is attraction there, both intellectual and physical--the forehead kiss was a big marker of that--and he’s interested in seeing where that goes because he’s invested in Essek’s redemption arc on its own, but Essek is not as high on the list as other things Caleb/the M9 need to work on. He loved the “high spy times” of the Essek arc and the tangled-up-ness of feelings getting involved at the same time as intense commitment to duty.

Liam always felt Matt would bring Molly back in some aspect, even though Caleb always demurred because he doesn’t believe in fate. Dani and Brian agree that this is the start of a new act.

Ashley cried at the Vilya reunion. She thought that was an incredible moment and was so glad to see Keyleth. Liam: “Keyleth as part of our story is everything to me. That story is really important to me, so getting just a glimpse of her again was so important to me.” They could all see how that affected Marisha & how special it was to her. Liam: “It was such a great note in her song or color in her painting. She achieved magnificent things and was powerful and great, but had a very heartbreaking and sad ending, so to have this sliver of joy go back in is so complex and beautiful and masterfully done.”

Aaaaaaand that’s all for tonight! Remember, no Critical Role this week. Talks will be back in two weeks. As always, don’t forget to love each other. <3

[khadij-al-kubra]

Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things. 

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!) 

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways. 

We can leave the world better than we found it. 

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

[gaawachan]

Discord Convo: Yasha, Essek, Culture, Shadowgast Ramblings

Me: Man I wish Essek and Yasha could have - nvm I'll finish that thought later.

Sibling: I KNOW. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY AND I WISH YASHA HAD BEEN MORE PRESENT IN THE STORY

Me: Stop doing the hive mind thing. it's invasive. i feel violated.

Sibling: I can't help it.

Me: But yeah Essek and Yasha. I find it very interesting because there's actually a lot of crossover in their temperaments, but in terms of physical presentation, they couldn't be more different. They both came from completely different sub-cultures in Xhorhas, and it's like... that temperament among the Rosohna Drow. It makes me think that they learned how to like... Okay hang on this is hard to put into words... Right so from a meta perspective, it reads like Matt took Yasha's basic temperament and applied it to other people of Xhorhas.  Like Yasha was a broader expression of typical mannerisms of Xhorhas (except that Yasha was no longer bound by the modesty of the cultures there, and having been exposed to Molly, was freer with her sexuality after it was stifled in the Wastes in her youth). Right? So with that thought in mind, look at Essek. Essek doesn't have the same trauma Yasha has so he doesn't have the same sort of dysfunctions, but when you first meet Yasha, she does display a casual arrogance/confidence about her power, and Essek has the temperament, but what he lacks is the freedom from modesty. He's extremely withdrawn.

Sibling: Are you saying he's going to become an e-boy? Because there's no promises that under that cloak, he isn't already one lmaoooo

Me: Well, I think it's interesting because this is actually one underrated area where I think Caleb would actually be really good for him and vice versa. It also says a lot about the odd intersections of culture in Xhorhas, because in old drow society, sex was uh... you know, let's not go into that.

Sibling: Just all of the nasty tags from AO3

Me: but my point is that it makes sense that the Kryn dynasty would be heavily influenced by and adopt a lot of the mannerisms and cultural relations from the people of Xhorhas because... they would be trying to distance themselves from the violence of their past by integrating stuff from the cultures they colonized. It makes sense that maybe the nomads of the wastes would impact their mannerisms and dynamics, though you can see echos of old drow culture in the dynasty, of course, with the dens and all.

Sibling: They're doing what the pirates from Wind Waker did once they found New Hyrule lol. "Yes, oh yes. We love technology"

Me: Yeah. So anyway, Yasha and Essek would have been interesting to have more interactions with.

Sibling: I mean, both are good characters? They just didn't have a lot of screentime, and it didn't really seem like Ashley was super interested in exploring her past. It doesn't help that Yasha was essentially silent for all major character interactions lol.

Me: They are both socially awkward, with casual confidence in their skills, and somewhat similar mannerisms, but Essek is very modest but manipulative, and Yasha is very upfront/blunt, and both of them have the guilt thing going on. Going back to Essek and Caleb. I think that their immediate positive effects on each other are obvious, but on this topic specifically... Caleb's only ever hesitant with his affection because of his trauma, really.  You get the distinct impression that he used to be a lot more touchy feely (just look at his early game dynamic with Nott), and while he is usually very polite, he has no problem with being blunt about his sexuality when he thinks he can get away with it. At the same time, Caleb's history with sex and relationships is really twisted and complicated, so he needs a partner who is respectful of boundaries and willing to check what is going on at any given time. In other words, he needs someone who is not like Molly (no offense to widomauk shippers).

Sibling: I mean, that was the primary problem with Molly. They had no sense of boundaries and that was good for someone like Yasha. Not so much for people with trauma related to lack of boundaries.

Me: (text dump) No, Molly DID have a sense of boundaries; they deliberately crossed them in order to make people uncomfortable. THAT was my biggest problem with Molly. Molly knew exactly what they were doing. Taliesin said as much. It's why I never shipped widomauk, because it’s yet another relationship where casual disregard for Caleb's comfort is present. It's why if I had shipped Caleb with anyone other than Essek, it would have been Fjord or Caduceus (but he's a disinterested ace and I respect that) or Yasha (but she's gay and I respect that) simply because they were clearly the ones who appeared most cognizant of Caleb's social comfort levels and such (so basically widofjord is what I'm saying, lol).  This isn’t a widomauk hate thing; it’s just not to my taste because I relate too much to hating having my personal boundaries deliberately treated with disrespect. That's going off on a tangent, though.

Essek, in contrast, needs someone who he can let his hair down with comfortably. Essek seems to only really feel that way around Caleb and Jester. Caleb's the only one Essek really initiates touch with. Caleb's the one who gets Essek to swear for the first time, like Caleb swearing gave Essek permission to do the same just for the hell of it. Caleb and Jester, more than the others, made it clear that he's allowed to be goofy when he's with them.  The two of them joking around with Immovable Object (and Caleb openly participating in that clownery with Seeming and such when he and Essek have so much in common) makes Essek feel comfortable with exploring not having a stick up his ass 24/7, which is exactly what a clearly extremely repressed person like Essek could benefit from in a partner, a person who he can relax around and vent with, because he's very obviously never had that before, or at least not consistently. And how did he get to that point?

It's from a thing about Caleb that is extremely underrated. Caleb, be it from his natural personality or that coupled with his training, knows the value of being openly vulnerable.  It's very clearly NOT something that Trent specifically taught him.  Caleb recognizes that the best way to manipulate people is to be sweet and earnest and awkward and TRUTHFUL about his beliefs and vulnerabilities, but this pays off in ways unintended. Caleb expects it to just be transactional, but people end up genuinely forming bonds with him because of it, and what's more, that he does that with such regularity results in other people responding in kind (which is the goal).  Someone as reserved as Essek could only stand to be vulnerable BECAUSE Caleb made HIMSELF vulnerable first. I think the best thing Liam ever did for Shadowgast was make it clear that everything he said to Essek may have been manipulative... but every word of it was also true, because Essek is clever enough to recognize that honesty.

The most underrated line in Essek's growth as a person doesn't even come from Essek, and it doesn't come from Caleb talking to Essek. I think people forget about this, but during the final conversation with the scourger, which Essek was present for... the scourger asks Caleb why he's bothering with her. And Caleb says (paraphrasing) "I think that I hoped if I could see one hint of change from you, I could believe that we aren't both damned." Imagine being Essek and hearing that. It recontextualizes everything about Essek's growth. The rapid change between the boat scene and Aeor isn't just because Essek wants to be a better person. It's because he wants to prove to Caleb that Caleb isn't damned, because no one has ever done that for Caleb. Caleb is so obviously drowning in his past during the Aeor arc. That sort of hope is something he desperately needed. It's one of the few things about the Aeor arc that isn't botched by the rush to end the series; Essek's consistent determination to be a positive influence on Caleb, for Caleb, was gold from start to finish. Remember too that by the time of the boat scene, Caleb had already met with Astrid and had that disheartening conversation. Essek's efforts to become a better person feel like he's trying to almost unknowingly undo the damage that the recent interactions with Astrid and Trent had done to Caleb's psyche.

... tldr, Caleb is going to teach Essek how to be a manslut... in private... jk but not really.

Sibling: I SAID THAT EBOY ESSEK LOL! Ugh... that final epilogue screwing over my favorite MLM ship... It's not canon. They went and made their own school, and lived forever in disguises to keep the scourgers coming after them.

*That was the end of this part of the conversation.  On reflection, I ought to have noted that Essek’s modesty might not be so much a cultural thing as it is an “Essek trying to keep people away from him like a prickly porcupine” thing, but you never know.  If it is cultural, that may be the result of the dynasty trying to distance themselves to the practices of those who worship Lolth, but I don’t know that Exandria lore has ever said anything about this?  And if it is a cultural thing, is it limited to the nobility, like Essek? One could also argue that the cultural practices of Yasha’s people, with the arranged marriages and such, may have influenced the dynasty’s own cultural formation, but I feel like I didn’t make that clear enough?  Anyway, that’s why it’s a ramble.

[darthwheezely]

Fredcanons!

Hi Fred Weasley makes me happy so like why not make random headcanons about him? Honestly? Yk? And like this will be the first of many parts I bet, if you want me to do other characters lmk! Anyway, this is gonna be long but honestly I could care less, enjoy fellas

Warnings: diet smut, high calorie diabetes inducing soft Fred, light angst

It’s practically canon at this point but the way this man works with numbers is absolutely insane.

It’s also kind of sexy but I don’t make the rules-

It’s been said before by someone on here that he’s the guy that impresses his dates by being able to automatically calculate tips for dinner dates and the like on the spot, and I adore that so much

Which means, words and abstract concepts can be a bit difficult for our lil ginger golden retriever. As we saw in Order, his handwriting needs a bit of work and so does his grammar - it’s something he’s really self conscious about, too

This boy is obsessed with American baseball

I really don’t know what it is, I think it’s because the men on the diamond hitting a fast flying ball reminds him of Quidditch or maybe it’s the sounds of American girls cheering all of these robust men on-

Regardless, it’s a thing and he loves it, period

Fred finds it horrendously embarrassing, but he had an imaginary friend growing up

Let’s be specific, an imaginary dog. Named Boris.

Molly has basically made it clear enough that raising a large amount of large boys under one roof was kind of like manning an animal shelter already damn molly which led to Fred being hopelessly in despair

So jokes on them, he got his own dog. A big, loud, Australian Shepherd named Boris.

So imagine this lanky five year old like refusing to eat a meal until Boris gets his first and demanding that he takes his own baths because “erm, Boris doesn’t want to bathe with Georgie, mum, he said he smells”

This lead to Fred being told he smells but that’s neither here nor there

Fred had Boris until he was about 7 and then he lost him while playing with the gnomes

This lead Molly to buying Fred and George a goldfish named Boris II: The Return of Boris and they referred to him as that. The whole title. Every time.

Fred was also that kid in middle school (1st-3rd year) that was like lightly obsessed with Canada

“Is it even real?”

“Jesus, Freddie are you even real?”

George stumped him with that one

Freddie became quite the ladies man come 3rd and 4th year, btw

And by ladies man I mean-

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven...-“

“Oh god, no please don’t say it please don’t say it- (George)

“-because I, too, am still recovering from the impact ;)”

All jokes and funny business side, he did start learning girls found him hot shit and honestly?

He didn’t know how to process that.

He’s so used to being the goofy guy or the cute guy from whatever class or just one of the Weasley’s that like-

Him? Attractive?

Well, shit, better start acting like it then huh?

And thus was born the personality we know Fred to have today

Not saying it’s all manufactured, but he definitely isn’t as 100% cocky and impulsive as everyone would like him to be

More often than not, he’s kind of a nervous person. Would he tell anyone that? Absolutely not, he’s got a reputation to uphold

But he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t found himself laying awake at night wondering if his pranks are cool enough, does his mom like them enough, does George think he’s enough

Does he think he’s enough?

Honestly, he battles with this for a lot of his school time basically up until the shop opens and starts running

Because that is time where he does really begin to blossom as a person in every facet

There’s something about walking into the shop and seeing a gaggle of kids know your name and want to be like you and know you that makes him feel like he did something right

But anyway back to Ladies Man Fred Weasley (please I rolled my eyes so hard)

He is an experienced fella in bed, this is also pretty canon

I mean look, he’s got Bill Freaking Weasley as his older brother

Any questions he ever had he asked Bill

“Look, Freddie, they’re gonna want you to find this thing called the clit-“

“I’m sorry the what?”

“The clitoris, Fredward, take note they’ll dump you on sight if you can’t find it.”

“...”

“Bud, that was a joke-“

“*exhales strongly* OH THANK GOD”

He’s also a consent king. Period.

Consent about literally everything when it comes to sex, if y’all have never slept togsther or have a routine of what you do, expect him to be consistent-“

“Is this okay?”

“Am I hurting you, love?”

“Please tell me if something’s wrong, okay?”

Fred’s favorite thing in the goddamn world is kisses

So many kisses

Please lord Jesus hes in need of kisses

Forehead kisses, arm kisses, leg kisses, eyebrow kisses - if it’s on your body and it’s accessible to him, he’ll kiss it I swear

So please do yourself a favor and kiss him. Please

Or I will-

If you use she/her pronouns, expect this boy to be protective af if y’all are friends

Fred is 100% the guy you can feel totally comfortable giving your drink to at parties

He waits by the bathroom to make sure you’re okay too

Basically just an angel that is all

[harrypotterandthefandomaccount]

In Your Arms

request:  Hello! I’ve been on your blog for a while and I really adore it, you’re an amazing writer, dearie! ❤️ I have a strange request, like really strange. A year ago I had a stillborn baby boy, and it’s still quite bad with pain. I was depressed, and beyond suicidal. As my journey to heal,  seeing fictional characters go through struggles that I faced make it better. I understand completely if you’d rather not. But perhaps a single reader, Harry’s younger sister when they’re adults of course. Maybe she used a donor, and in her pregnancy at six months she has a stillbirth after buying everything, and getting herself excited. Mainly, showing her struggles and everyone attempting to make her feel better. Perhaps, even a sweet moment of her baby in ‘wizard’ heaven with Sirius, Remus, and her parents. Taking care of him, and eventually the reader is reassured someone is taking care of her baby. Something every mother wishes for when it happens❤️ thank you so much, I send my best regards and love💓💕

warnings: depression, post-partum, stillborn death, anxiety, character death, sad death, suicidal thoughts

note: i really hope i did okay with this. i read this article to get more information about stillborns and the impact it has on mothers and their families. to the requester, i really hope i did okay with this. you are loved.

-

nothing, no feeling, but pain.

you knew something was not right when you started feeling deep pressure on your stomach only five months into your pregnancy. something was off, and as much as you wanted to ignore it, you had to go to St. Mungo’s.

by Merlin, you wish you ignored it.

the doctors scrambled, trying to find a way to rid your body of the contractions, to delay your baby’s delivery but there was nothing they could do. you could feel the tears and sweat running down your face as your twin, harry, gripped your hand, telling you everything would be okay.

you just wanted to hold your son.

harry told you it would all be okay, molly wiping the sweat from your forehead as she whispered encouraging words to you. you cried, not wanting to push as you knew what would happen to your son - you weren’t ready to let go yet.

as the doctors instructed, you pushed and pushed until the doctors told you to stop - your boy had entered the world. molly took him from the doctors, swaddling him in blue cloths and walked over to you, giving you a small smile.

you were tired. everything felt like jelly, but as you saw molly carrying your son, you sat up, ready to hold him. as he was passed into your arms, you smiled and cried.

“what’s wrong, dear?” molly asked, wiping back your damp hair.

you shook your head, “he’s beautiful. he is absolutely breathtaking.”

harry leaned over your side, looking at his nephew, “looks just like his mom.” he smiled, kissing your head as he smoothed your hair. over your head, he looked t molly, wondering what was going to happen.

a doctor stood at the side of your bed as you looked up, “what is going to happen to him?”

she gave a sad smile, “his organs will slowly start to shut down until he stops breathing, but he won’t be in pain. he’ll be okay.”

you looked back at your son, a bright smile on your face as your thumb grazed his cheek, “my beautiful boy. . .”

your bottom lip quivered, “can - can he be a donor?” you heard your son’s breathing, focusing on the rise and fall of his tiny chest and belly.

the doctor nodded, “yes, he can, but it is your decision, ms. potter.”

you swallowed, “can i spend more time with him, please?”

she nodded, “of course.”

molly held your hand under your son, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, “have you thought of a name, darling?”

you nodded, your lip quivering, “fred.”

molly hummed, kissing your forehead. harry kneeled beside you, “beautiful name.” molly paused, “what do you need?”

“i just, um,” you swallowed a lump in your throat, “can i spend time with him? alone? i’m so-”

harry stood, “don’t apologize. . .we’ll be outside. i love you.”

you gave a sad smile, “i love you, too.” molly left right behind harry, giving you one last glance before leaving.

you knew they were telling everyone about what was happening, your son’s name, the difficult decision you had to make. but it didn’t matter. you were here, with fred, and he was the most beautiful baby you have ever seen in your entire life.

“oh, my sweet darling,” you started, “you have so - so many people waiting for you up there. your grandpa james, grandma lily, uncle sirius, uncle remus, uncle fred - whom you’re named after. they are going to take such good care of you, sweetheart.”

tears began to fall down your cheeks, your breath quickening as you realized he would not make it. you swallowed, “and, you’re going to be a savior, just like uncle harry. you. . .you are so loved, my darling. and,” you grazed his cheek again, “and i am going to miss you so much. you have a special place in my heart, you know that?”

his breathing then became wheezes, and somehow, the doctor knew, carefully walking in and closing the door with multiple nurses and a NICU cart behind them.

“i have to let him go, don’t i?” you asked, memorizing your son’s facial features.

molly opened the door, heading over to your side in a rush, “nobody is forcing you to do anything, darling. you take as much time as you need -”

“but if you wish for your son to be a donor, then yes. i am sorry, ms. potter.”

you leaned in, kissing fred on the forehead before whispering, “i am - i am going to miss you terribly, my love. don’t get in too much trouble.”

the doctor walked over to your bedside, watching your emotions carefully before you turned to her, “please take care of him. i don’t want him in any pain.”

she nodded to you, her red hair bouncing, “of course, ms. potter. your son will be in good care. he’ll be okay.”

with gentle hands, you carefully handed your son over to the doctor, who then put him inside the NICU cart, leaving quickly to preserve his organs. you covered your mouth, ugly sobs escaping you as molly pulled you close.

“i miss him!” you cried, snot and tears running down your face as the others waited outside, holding hands and wiping their own tears.

all you wanted was a baby, your own little baby - with a significant other or by donor - that was all you wanted. but now, it had been taken from you, ripped from your grasp. how were you supposed to live with yourself? how were you supposed to go home and look into the nursery without falling to your knees? how were you supposed to survive?

-

the shades hid the light of the sun entering your room. it was. . .nice, hiding from the world and laying within your plethora of covers. there was warmth, but also cold. you didn’t have a pregnant belly anymore, nor did you have any cravings or odd mood swings.

you wanted to hold fred again. you ached to kiss his cold, little cheeks again, or to smell him once more. you wish you had more time.

you had turned into a cocoon, refusing to leave your safe space unless necessary. no visitors were allowed, but you’d let people know you were breathing - not okay, but alive.

you felt like you failed.

you had done everything right. how did you lose him? what did you do wrong?

everyone had told you that it wasn’t your fault - but why did it feel like it was?

harry knocked on your door every single day. he still has yet to skip a day, but it has only been a week, so who knows. ginny stands beside him, telling you that you are strong, that you’ll get through this.

you scoffed every time.

molly drops off food every day, whether it be some cookies or a whole lasagna. she stands at the door and tells you how her day went, and you knew she was wiping her own tears. she’d stand there for about an hour and once you knew she left, you’d go and grab the food, putting it in the fridge until you had the stomach to eat.

ron and hermione came by twice, shoving cards and your mail under the door, telling you how much they miss you and your smile. you wanted to go out and laugh with them about old times, but you just couldn’t.

then his ashes came.

you remember being so excited when you first found out you were pregnant, rushing to buy all the supplies you needed as your girlfriends took the stress off you, buying the items for you instead.

you remember painting the room with george, harry, and ron. well, they painted and you ate pizza, giving tips as they got each other covered in the baby blue hue.

you remember finding out the sex of the baby, holding harry’s hand as the nurse told you it was a boy. that was when you knew his name was going to be fred, and harry admired you for it, calling you an adirmable sister.

however, you also remembered when you first got home, shuffling over to the couch and wrapping a blanket around yourself. you remember how your breasts ached, producing milk when there was nobody to produce it for. how the bleeding felt as if it went on for ages.

at first, you felt numb at the sight of the urn, but in a good way. he was here, finally, in his home. maybe not in the way you expected, but he was home. fred was home. you placed him on your dresser, perfect line of sight for you to see him. just to make sure your baby was okay.

standing up, you shook your legs and hobbled over to the shower, turning it on and stepping in immediately. the heat felt good, washing away the dirt and grime that had formed over the past week. then, brushing your teeth felt good, felt productive.

then, you called molly, asking if you could come over for dinner, and if harry and ginny, ron and hermione, could come, too.

she cried once she hung up, her answer being a choked, “of course, darling.”

it wasn’t what you planned, but it is what happened. you came to terms with that as you looked off into the field from the burrow. you miss fred terribly, but you knew he was okay. it was odd - sometimes, you’d hear a baby’s laugh and you’d see someone who was the spitting image of remus or sirius, lifting a baby in the air and seeing their smile light up the world. you saw those as signs - signs that fred was being taken care of.

and you were okay with him not being in your arms.

[yankingmyvajane]

Beauyasha Meta

For anyone who can’t read the pictures with the small text. I’m sorry about that!!

When Beau and Yasha met in that tavern in Trostenwald, Beau was immediately drawn to Yasha. Obviously a lot of that was just base level attraction to her, because let’s face it, Yasha is hot as fuck.

 But, there was just something about Yasha that drew Beau in. To me, it feels like both Beau and Yasha understood and felt that pull, but they also had an unspoken agreement that their dynamic couldn’t be anything serious. It was just playful and flirtatious. At this point in time, Beau had fully convinced herself that she was happier being lonely, if she never opened herself up romantically, she couldn’t be heartbroken again. So, she decided that she would be alone forever, and would use occasional hook ups as a band aid to get by. Yasha was sure that she would never move on from Zuala because she didn’t want or deserve to. If she moved on, Zuala would be gone. How could she ever love another person ever again when she was the reason that this woman was killed? There was too much regret and too much shame in her heart for that to ever be on her radar. There were moments where Beau considered hooking up with Yasha, but that might’ve made things weird and Yasha left the group frequently. As they started to get to know each other more, Beau was considering making a move, but then Yasha, Fjord and Jester were taken by the Iron Shepherds. Then Molly died, which fundamentally impacted and changed both Beau and Yasha as people. Yasha left again, and we know through the art book that Beau missed her and considered her a part of the Mighty Nein. Once Yasha came back, Beau was very gentle with her, making sure that she was okay. Making her feel safe. I think that it brought Yasha comfort to be able to slowly start to jump back into the way things were with the Nein. Whether she liked it or not, she had grown to care deeply for these people, and now that Molly was gone, they were her only family. So, their relationship slowly started to get back to the flirtation of the earlier campaign, except this time Yasha started to reciprocate. Then Yasha told the entire group Zuala, and Beau cared way too much about Yasha to ignore the fact that she was grieving. Beau understands loss, and she couldn’t just swoop in like an asshole trying to flirt with Yasha like she had before now that she knew Yasha’s struggles. But then there was that night in the barbed fields when Yasha initiated flirtation with Beau. That was the night that they opened up to each other about things that they hadn’t told anyone else about.Yasha is still the only one who knows the full story of Beau and Tori’s relationship. For the first time, this unspoken understanding of their pull to one another was made explicit. “I’ve seen you.” Which to this day, is such a perfect quote to summarize their relationship. Beau was making an off-handed comment to belittle herself, and Yasha flipped it to show Beau that she understands her, values her, and cares for her. This one scene has so much depth. Beau checking in on Yasha. Yasha reassuring Beau that no matter what she may see in herself, no matter what she’s been led to believe about her character, Beau is deserving of respect, of love, and Yasha isn’t the only person who believes that either. Yasha listening to Beau’s pain and making sure that she knows it is just as valid as her own. Beau making it known that she has been paying attention to Yasha, and that she can see that there is something truly special about her. Yasha makes sure to find a moment to make Beau laugh. These two women who have emotionally closed themselves off from the world, on multiple levels, opening up to each other about love and loss. Realizing that their lives have been connected long before they even knew the other existed. That they are more similar than they could have ever thought. A moment of understanding and recognition of the other’s experiences of love, and the pain of their loss. A then, a glint of realization that maybe someday, they could both find someone who is worth risking that same pain all over again. Or maybe…they had already found them. Beau’s response was subtle, though. Maybe Yasha was just being kind. It probably didn’t mean anything, and besides, Beau had made a choice. She had decided to back away, and she swore that nothing would ever happen between them because it was too complicated. Yasha was still mourning her wife, and as much as she cared about Yasha, maybe even because she cared so much, it hurt Beau every time Yasha left the Mighty Nein. Which she did frequently. How could Beau let herself care if Yasha wasn’t going to stay? That is exactly why she decided to be lonely. No feelings means no heartbreak. Everything changed once Obann took Yasha away from them. Beau began to realize how much she truly cared, because she felt how much it hurt that Yasha was gone again. She barely slept for several nights after Yasha was taken because she wanted to hear a storm. She wanted some confirmation that Yasha would be okay. Maybe the Storm Lord could bring her back to them.   As much as she tried to avoid confronting the pain of losing Yasha, Beau never gave up on her, and knew that what they were seeing wasn’t really her. During this time, Beau developed a crush on Jester. Once Yasha came back, their relationship grew similarly to the way it did after Yasha came back from leaving at Molly’s grave. It started slow and careful, but eventually began building back up to the ways things were. The playful flirtation between them started back up. No matter what Beau convinced herself of, she always came back to that connection she has with Yasha. She began to realize that her feelings for Yasha were stronger than her crush on Jester. She has been avoiding her feelings for Yasha because she has been avoiding confronting her future; with Yasha, it has always been more than a crush. She called her beautiful at the fish market, she blue screened over her getting stronger overnight, she watched her play her harp on the beach and smiled at her while watching her from a distance. At the same time, Yasha once again began to slowly initiate flirtation with Beau in her own ways. She always protected Beau in combat, and couldn’t help but get flustered around her. We know that she has been harboring guilt over what she did to Beau in the chantry, which probably held her back from doing more. I imagine that moment also motivated her to open up more as well, though. Perhaps she began to realize the fragility of life, and maybe she was struggling with balancing the knowledge that she needs to say something before it’s too late, and the shame and regret of the things she has done. Then they went to Rumblecusp. There was that night in Vo where Yasha played her harp and everyone could see just how much she had healed. We watched the layers of emotion hit Beau’s face. I think she started to realize in that moment that while Yasha had grown, so had she. They are not the same two people who met in a tavern before a carnival. They have both been through so much shit, and yet here Yasha was, playing her harp in front of everyone, displaying this gentle beauty that Beau knows has always been within her. It was in that moment that all of the feelings Beau had for Yasha began to click for her. Then, there was the flight. Ever since going to Kamordah and seeing the hag, Beau had been struggling a lot. The realization that one day she would lose the Mighty Nein was massive for Beau, because she realized that despite everything she had told herself, she is terrified of being alone. Flying with Yasha was the first time since going to Kamordah that we saw Beau carefree. She was even (trying) to say that she felt better than she had in a long time (good long time). In my opinion, that moment completely solidified Beau’s feelings for Yasha in Beau’s mind. This woman that she has been harboring feelings for since the moment they met just sprouted literal angel wings for the first time in her life for the sole purpose of catching Beau and taking her on a flight over a waterfall. Beau also knows that the fact that Yasha’s wings were no longer skeletal means something, and I am absolutely certain she could tell how much the moment meant for Yasha. To be the person that this woman gets to share one of the most important and symbolic moments of her life with is not a small thing. Combine all of that with the fact that Beau was starting to accept that her feelings for Yasha were much more than playful; everything that the two of them went through as individuals, all of their personal growth only brought them closer together. Beau knows that she doesn’t want to be alone anymore, in fact she realizes how terrible being lonely is, and now she also realizes that as terrifying as it may be to think about, she has started to think about what a future might look like with Yasha in it. And the best part? She actually feels like running towards that future instead of running away from it. In order to let herself fully accept this and say it out loud to someone, Beau needed to know that Yasha wasn’t going to leave anymore. Yasha’s absence was always the biggest setback for them. So, Beau asked Yasha outfront, and Yasha told her, with a knowing and loving smile, that she isn’t going anywhere. Wherever the Nein go, wherever Beau goes, Yasha goes. Despite this, Beau does not expect anything of Yasha, because she knows she has her own shit to deal with. Yet there is still that glimmer of hope in her mind. So she tells Fjord. Then she tells Jester. The ball has to be in Yasha’s court because Beau respects Yasha too much to overstep. And Yasha, who has been fighting with the parts of herself that are holding on to her mistakes and the part of her that cares deeply about Beauregard, is now coming to terms with the dream she had the night before. She had a dream, or maybe it was more than a dream, that gave her the tools to forgive herself for the things she has been holding on to for so long. Now that she is beginning to forgive and to let go of the guilt, what could her future bring? She has a dream about letting go and growing her wings, and the very next day she uses her newly feathered wings to catch the woman who she has developed strong and passionate feelings for, and gets to share this life changing moment with her. Then she talks to Caduceus and he echoes a sentiment very similar to one that she shared with Caleb. If you care for someone, you should tell them before it is too late. Who knows how much time is left. If you have the opportunity, why not make the most of whatever time you do have left. He tells her that she deserves to go for the things she wants. And she knows that he is talking about her feelings for Beau. So she tells Jester how she feels, she makes it real for herself. There is no going back now, and so they come up with a plan to tell Beau in the perfect way. And she writes the poem, but decides that what she wants to tell Beau needs to be more candid and real; more specific to who Yasha is, and to who Beau is. So Yasha writes a letter telling Beau that she sees her. Just like she did all that time ago in the barbed fields. She sees Beau, every part of Beau, even the parts that Beau thinks are bad or unloveable, and she tells Beau that she cherishes every part of her. She highlights her strengths in a way that she knows Beau deserves to hear. It is clear that Yasha understands Beau intimately by the words she wrote, and by the way that Beau reacted to what she read. The ball is now back in Beau’s court. As we know now, Beau is planning something for Yasha. She looked for flowers and wanted Caleb to change the tower somehow. These two women who have experienced so much loss and heartbreak, whose lives and journeys have mirrored one another and became intertwined the moment they met are taking their time and waiting for the perfect moments so that they absolutely get it right. Each of them knows that the other deserves nothing less than perfect. Yasha, who never got to share her love with the world, whose love was taken from her unfairly and cruelly. Yasha, who had closed herself off emotionally to protect herself from losing anymore loved ones, yet who protects and gives love without ever needing or asking for anything in return. Beau, who has been dismissed, undermined, and neglected by her family her entire life. Beau, who has given so much of herself just to feel valued and acknowledged, and who desperately wants to feel seen. To truly be loved.

[beetlemancy]

I was very uninterested during the aeor arc and was hoping another arc would start after that I would be interesting in. I disliked Molly as a character so while I'm glad that people are happy about this I have zero emotional investment in it at all. Next episode might change my stance but right now still not feeling great.

So, let's unpack that for a sec because I'm actually kind of curious and nothing about what you said is coming from hostility unlike other asks I've been sent about this or takes I've seen, so thank you for that. Like, srsly its refreshing lol. So, because of that, please don't take what I say next personally, its really more me using this as a springboard because its been on my mind (and you did also, like, make a point to tell me about your disappointments lol)

Why do you think the Aeor arc wasn't interesting to you? For me, it was one of the MOST interesting, but I also really love exploring new places in Matt's world. I would sit for an entire month or more of lore drop/architecture description. A lot of people really have been vocal about hating the Eiselcross arc and I've had a theory that it might be because it has been slightly less RP focused, as in like between the PCs? There's been more RP walk-n-talk - like the West Wing of DnD.

I am also not a big Molly fan. I didn't like him when he was alive and I didn't like dead fanon Molly even more. But there's something really profound about the impact he had on the M9 regardless of my own personal issues with his character and his resurrection this way was so god damn poetic. I love that for the cast too! Look how happy they were! I'm curious why some people can't look past that inherent dislike and see the story for what it is, or at least enjoy the improbability of how it all played out?

I guess I have a hard time understanding like,, I dunno. I don't know how people, many people, can sit through almost 550+ hours (add another 447 for cr1) but only be 'satisfied' altogether if you personally vibe with every single hour of it? every single arc?

Like. I know I'm supposed to say that I 'understand' why people might feel disappointed, and I do when it comes to sadness the campaign is ending and that we won't get to see these characters as much outside oneshots, but I genuinely don't understand the disappointment in storylines that maybe you just don't generally enjoy when you have THAT much content to sift through.

[there-are-things-i-dont-forget]

SPOILERS FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 2 BELOW

I just wanted to talk about how much the Mighty Nein and Matt and Critical Role have meant to me over the past few months. I started Campaign 2 in January this year, when I moved out for university and was able to live on my own for the first time. They quite literally saved me, because I cared so much for the setting and the characters and the story that Matt wove and how the players interacted with them that I hung on just to see how it would end. 

For me, it was amazing how I could relate the characters to aspects of myself, and how watching them all get their happy endings have made me be able to look forward with a bit more hope.

Let’s start with Beau. I’ll be honest, Marisha’s characters are always the most challenging for me, because of how real they are. Marisha is a stunning actor, incredibly skilled, and Beau was the character I responded to the most as if it was a real person. Everyone else I could enjoy and play into the metagame of watching the players be characters. With Beau and Marisha, it was so real. Moreover, I could see myself reflected in the character (which is probably why I found her so challenging to begin with). Trauma, hurt, being an asshole to other people before they could reject her first. Not the best at compliments, giving in to anger and sarcasm, struggling to connect. And I got to watch her grow, and be accepted, and learn from her mistakes, and be appreciated by who she was, and in the end get vindication on her abusers, and find love and acceptance. Beau’s story is incredibly special to me.

In that same vein is Yasha’s. Manipulated, taken advantage of, forced to do things against her will. Yasha’s story is the one that I can relate to the most, in terms of trauma, and to see her quite literally rip the wings off of her abuser was cathartic in a way that I did not expect, but should have foreseen. And in the end, she also got her happy ending. I’m gonna leave it at that, because any more will make me cry. But I hold her and her character arc so close to my heart.

Liam’s performances are the hardest for me to watch because he feels so much, and I love it. He really gives it all to the scene and it is incredible. Caleb was a character that I overlooked for a bit in the beginning (as Jester had quickly become my favorite), but he quickly climbed as we began to see more of his character and his backstory. Manipulated and groomed by someone he was supposed to be able to trust, forced again to do things against his will, falling in to flashbacks and panic attacks, struggling to rejoin society and interact with others, a love and a passion for learning to a nearly obsessive sense, both for the love of it and for the possibility of gaining the power and strength needed to take back control. Slowly learning to love, to grow, to find friends and see that there can be more to life, that you don’t have to be ruled by your trauma or let it define you, but also still acknowledging it and its effects. But also just how long it takes, and how it can affect you in ways you cannot imagine. He also got his vindication on his abuser, and again, I cried, tears of happiness for him and of grief and hope for me, that one day I might be able to do the same.

Caleb, Yasha, and Beau are the ones I relate to the most because their story is my story, and watching them grow and love means it can happen to me as well. I cannot stress how important and incredible it is for me to realize that. In the more material sense, they all got closure and catharsis against those who hurt them, and they all learned to love again, to open their hearts and let others in again. And that means I can too.

This brings me to the Shadowgast love story. I know this is really controversial for the fandom and I don’t care. For me, their arc was perfectly realistic, and their ending was exactly what I expected for the characters. Finding a kin spirit, learning together, hesitant but trusting in the other’s passion for study at the very least, slowly and naturally growing closer and learning more about each other, revealing more. The betrayal from Essek, the scene on the boat, the slight recoiling on either side, and then learning again, slowly trusting again and teaching each other to forgive themselves, that they were both victims in a sense and that they can take back control and do better, and choose to do better and be better. Slowly healing, and healing together, knowing the worst of each other and choosing to stay but still acknowledging those parts of each other. The scene where they return to the T-Dock and they talk about time travel, and Caleb disintegrates the whole thing? That’s growth, and that’s growing together. And they continue to grow for years, and heal for years, and eventually they end up together, but it takes time. Of course it does. And Essek’s character and this ending really helped me understand some of my own feelings in terms of friendship and romance. Everyone upset that there wasn’t any “on screen” romance or whatever, to me, fundamentally misunderstood the character, especially since his love language does not seem to be physical touch at all (if anything it’s gift giving/acts of service - teleporting the M9 around? Helping Caleb solve the spell? Giving up to dunamis gem to help the M9 get a long rest?). But yeah. Watching characters like that help validate my own experiences in friendship and romance and it was fantastic. 

The others I have a bit less in common with, but there’s still stuff to talk about. Veth having her body changed by someone else, something out of her control, feeling alien in this body and struggling to find a sense of self, then finding friends willing to pour everything into helping her be herself again? Fjord learning he is valuable whether or not he has powers/can serve others, that he has worth just as himself, and that that is enough? Those were stories I needed to hear, to know that something like that is possible.

Caduceus growing out of his comfort zone, exploring, learning, but still being a rock for the others (and for the viewers), and "Pain doesn’t make people. It’s love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential. It’s love that saves them."?  Molly’s loyalty and “leave every place better than you found it”? Even if I couldn’t relate directly to the characters didn’t mean they didn’t have an impact, and these are things that I will carry with me always.

Jester. I have just about nothing in common with Jester, and I loved it. Her optimism, her jokes, and her art (including the dicks), just the absolute light and joy that was her character was exactly what I needed to get through some of the toughest times of my life. Watching her grow from episode one to episode 141 was insane, to mature but not lose her creativity and her fun for life. She was my reminder that there is good and light and hope in the world, even if sometimes you have to create it for yourself, and that is what kept me going sometimes.

And finally, Matt. I cannot give enough thanks to you for choosing to share this amazing world and this story with us. Your storytelling is what prompted me to finally put my ideas into writing, and now I’m working on my own book. Along with Jester, Essek is one of my favorites, and his story arc and characterization was incredibly important to me. I truly have no words for how Critical Role and especially you, with the care and passion and obvious love for storytelling that you have, have changed my life. And I cannot thank you enough.

Am I sad that the campaign ended? Maybe a little. I will miss these characters. But I truly believe that Matt ended the campaign at the perfect point, and I loved the final episode, it made incredible sense for the end of the characters (maybe a teeny bit more Marion/Babenon? But I digress). I’m sure Campaign 3 will be just as astounding.

My love and thanks to the cast and crew of Critical Role. Rest well knowing you did a fantastic job, and I’ll see you in campaign 3.

PS: I know there’s a lot of tags, I want to make sure I cover all my bases so people don’t get spoiled if they have these tags blocked because I have been spoiled too many times by people who tag badly.

[lumoshyperion]

One thing that doesn't get mentioned nearly enough but I really liked how the CC sort of dived into how even those who are considered "good" can be very narrowed minded and prejudiced as well.

Oh my gosh, yes! Particularly true in terms of Harry and how he handled everything? He's the first thing people mention when they complain about the play, and that was something I agreed upon when I first read the script, but then I saw the production and... almost completely changed my tune? Because I realised how negatively Harry's childhood would have blighted his adulthood.

People always point out his relationships with Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore, etc, to try and show reasons why he wouldn't be a "bad" father. Even without his parents, there was still no lack of love in his life. But all of these men, except Remus, never had children. He had people like Arthur and Molly Weasley in his life, but they were more traditional types of parental figures, and Harry was never drawn to that like he was with people like Sirius.

But Sirius is irresponsible and reckless, treating Harry like a substitute for James and forgetting how young he was. Dumbledore is a whole can of worms we're not even going to bother opening, because Harry does that himself within the play ("And I have proved as bad a father to him, as you were to me. Leaving him in places he felt unloved - growing in him resentments he'll take years to understand-" "If you're referring to Privet Drive, then-" "Years! Years I spent there, alone, not knowing what I was, or why I was there - without knowing that anybody cared!")

And even Remus wants to go on the run with the Golden Trio in Deathly Hallows, and Harry calls him out on not taking responsibility for his growing family. It's a devastating bit of foreshadowing, when we know that Remus never gets to raise his child. I think a part of Harry rages against the unfairness of it and is almost angry at Remus for being at the Battle of Hogwarts and for leaving Teddy alone, just like Harry was left - alone - when his parents died. It's a part of him that he buries, but that is still there, all these years later.

And the way Harry explodes in the first AU in HPCC is always something I found almost as painful to watch as the blanket scene. Because the latter was something he didn't mean, something he took back almost as soon as he said it. It "concealed other things", as Ginny said. But what he does in the first AU - tearing Albus and Scorpius apart, and forcing McGonagall to spy on them, threatening her with the full force of the Ministry if she doesn't comply? (There's an excellent bit of staging in the play for that scene, where Scorpius sinks down at the top of the staircase and stays there for the whole scene - in the background, unaware of the conversation happening centre stage about him and how "dangerous" he is to Albus.) This is Harry's anger and Harry's prejudice. He's always been reactionary. Taking things and blowing them out of proportion. His experiences have given him an almost black and white view of the world, and a sense of distrust which I'm sure is only exacerbated by working as the Head of Magical Law Enforcement.

Harry has always been internal, too, which is something I think Albus struggles with a lot as well. The Harry who is so focused on Voldemort that he forgets Ginny's experience with the diary ("I didn’t want anyone to talk to me,” said Harry, who was feeling more and more nettled. “Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, “seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels.” Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then he wheeled around. “I forgot,” he said. “Lucky you,” said Ginny coolly.) is the same as the Albus who becomes so focused on saving Cedric and pushing Scorpius away that he doesn't see how much Scorpius is suffering, until he explodes in the library scene.

Albus sees Harry for who he is, and that's why there's so much friction between them. Because he sees that Harry is flawed and that he doesn't know how to be a parent. There was a post going around recently that talked about a different way to interpret the blanket scene. It isn't Harry saying he wishes Albus weren't his son. It's Harry saying he wishes he weren't Albus's dad. Because he knows he's inadequate and he feels like he failed Albus - on a subconscious level, because it isn't something he really admits until the final scene.

However much people complain about this aspect of the play, and how it's changed their perception of Harry, it's always something that has really interested me. Nuanced, flawed characters are more interesting than characters who are fundamentally good and never make mistakes. We're not really holding "the mirror up to nature" if every character is wholly good or wholly bad, with no in between 😂