#I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. They’ll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

[thoughts-of-bear]

The birthday gift

A Halsin x reader fanfiction | Explicit, 18+ | 7k words A/N: Okay since the Halsin brainrot has had its hold on me for ages, I started this fic on my birthday in december, not expecting to ever finish it because I have literally never finished anything I've started writing before- until now. I got inspired to write this by this post (for the birthday part, the smut part is my own horny imagination) and well, this is the final product. Since it's my first time publishing any of my writing and writing smut at all, please be kind with me XD Summary: Your companions prepare a surprise birthday party for you, Halsin sees you in your new dress, you two dancing leads to him confessing his feelings for you and a very happy ending... CW: halsin x f!reader, virgin reader, halsin eating pussy, fingering, p in v sex, breeding, rough sex i guess, halsin being the man he is, all that stuff idk what to write here really

I hope you enjoy it, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

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You and your companions had finally reached Baldur’s Gate. It’s still morning when you enter Rivington that day and the streets are busy with all kinds of people, many seemingly refugees from Elturel and farther away, here to find shelter in the city. As you continue down the road to the village in front of the city gates, you are stopped by a little red-headed girl.

“Erm. ‘Scuse me, I can’t find my mum.” She looks worn out and as if she has recently been crying.

“Where did you last see her?” you ask as you bend down to her, smiling to show you want to help.

“She went to go get some herbs - for her spots” she gestures towards her face. “She was sick. And she was supposed to come back the same day.” She pauses before adding, “That was last tenday though.”

“Let’s go find a guard. They’ll be able to help you”, you propose.

The girl shakes her head. “Guards blow like petards. They don’t help us.”

Your heart sinks at these words. It seems all these people were here because the city wouldn’t take them in. And the guards are no help either, apparently. You wonder what happened to your city, where once everyone was welcome.

Halsin sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. “This city is a poor place to be in need of help. Even the guards can’t be trusted to protect the most vulnerable.”

You silently agree and think of how you could help that girl. You decide to spare a few coins, so she can buy herself some food.

“I don’t know where your mum is, but here - take a few coins”, you offer her, not able to tell her that her mother is most likely dead. Halsin smiles at you warmly as you shoot him a quick glance, the sight making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh - erm. Thank you so much! I don’t have anything and you can’t do anything without any coin”, the little girl exclaims, bobbing on her toes and suddenly looking a little less tired. “I’ll pay you back. When I find my mum.” She turns around and bolts. “No need, it’s a gift!” you call after her but she has already vanished in the crowd.

You finally arrive at Wyrm’s Rock Crossing in the evening, after you had snuck past one of the new city guards - the so-called Steel Watch - and promised to investigate the murder of the local Ilmater priest. Another incident that seems to fuel the hate towards the refugees.

And that isn’t even all. The city is closed, even for you as a Baldurian, and to get in you’d need an Admission Pass - or wings. You sigh. You just want to get into the city, rent a room in the Elfsong and think about what to do next, now that the Absolute’s army must soon be upon the city.

It’s all too much and too little time. And you can’t just turn away from the people you met in Rivington either, they need help just as much as you need to find out how to beat the Absolute’s Chosen and get rid of the tadpoles.

When you make your way around camp that evening, checking up on your companions, Halsin notices your exhaustion, the way you slump your shoulders and how your usually impeccable stance falters. He wants to relieve you of at least a bit of the tension, so when you walk over to him, he offers you a massage. The things he wants to say to you can wait until tomorrow.

“Thank you, Halsin”, you accept, his hands turning you around and gently pushing you down to sit on your knees before him. You sigh as his broad hands knead the tension from your back and by the time he is finished, you feel like a sleepy, boneless lump of flesh, muscles completely relaxed. You thank Halsin again before you retire to your bedroll, the hopeful thought that the offer might’ve been more than Halsin’s usual kindness crossing your mind before you drift off to sleep.

The next evening, you were finally inside the city walls. You consider the new information of the day. How you got your hands on an invitation to the celebration at Wyrm’s rock fortress, your disbelief to see that it was Lord Gortash’s coronation as Arch Duke, how he made the tadpoled Duke Ravengard give up his power and how Bane’s Chosen then proposed an alliance against Orin, the shapeshifter that had already approached you in Rivington. You had agreed to kill her, but you definitely wouldn’t leave Gortash his Netherstone. But that is a problem for another day. You had managed to get a room in the Elfsong Tavern and as usual you make your way through it to hear what your companions think of all that had happened today. Most approve of your decision. Halsin is the last person you speak to and as always, he has just the right words to ease your worries. For now, at least.

“Wait-”, he grabs your arm before you can leave. “I didn’t thank you yet.” His large hand is warm and makes your skin tingle where it touches you.

“Thank me? For what?” He chuckles at your puzzled look. “For all that you did in Rivington yesterday. You have so many worries and yet you still go out of your way to help those in need. The way you made that little girl smile, or how you didn’t hesitate to investigate what happened to that Ilmater priest.” A blush creeps up your cheeks as he continues. “I’m afraid Nature’s balance can never be restored in a city like this, but seeing what you do every day without expecting anything in return gives me hope. And for that I thank you.” You smile up at him, lost for words with your heart beating fast.

“I appreciate you saying this. I wish I could to more, to help everyone, but if I can at least do a little good, it’s worth the exhaustion at the end of the day”, you eventually admit with a smile. Halsin grins. “You’re too modest. I wager you don’t even know how extraordinary you truly are.” Your cheeks blush an even deeper red at those words and only when you retire to bed for the evening does your heart resume its normal pace again. But the warm feeling Halsin’s presence gave you remained for the night.

After you had the first proper breakfast since your crash with the Nautiloid, you feel ready to explore the city and find out how to best deal with all your problems. You hadn’t particularly missed the bustle and noise of your old home, but you can’t help feeling safer now that you were in familiar surroundings again.

Gale proposed to go to Sorcerous Sundries, both to find out more about the Elderbrain’s crown and to see what the wizard there wants with your companion Nightsong. Since you don’t have an idea where to find Orin yet, you figure that this is as good as any other thing you could be doing. 

The way from Elfsong to the magic shop isn’t far and you still have some time before it opens, so you decide to stop by the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette to update yourself on any news you had missed in your absence and struggle with the Absolute.

Scanning the title page, you notice the date in the corner and your brows shoot up in surprise. Noticing this, Gale asks if you found anything important in the newspaper.

“No, it’s just that I realised today is my birthday and I've completely forgotten about it. That means we have been on the road for more than two months already”, you wonder aloud before you add, “It doesn’t feel that long.”

“Well, then we have to celebrate of course!” Gale exclaims happily. You smile at his enthusiasm but shake your head. “We have bigger problems for now. Let’s see what this Lorroakan wants with Dame Aylin and then get on with our business. Besides,” you shrug, “we didn’t celebrate birthdays in my monastery anyways so I won’t miss anything.”

“If you say so,” Gale replies and you turn your attention back towards the page you were studying before.

You had already forgotten about the conversation as you come into your chamber in the Elfsong, grateful for the few minutes alone during the bath you had taken and the respite for your tired body.

But the moment you enter the room, Karlach and Shadowheart drag you to a set dinner table, laden with the most delicious food you could imagine. There aren’t your ordinary fish heads and the mouldy bread you usually have to call supper, instead delicious smelling pork roasts, pies, glazed carrots and potatoes, deep red apples and more pile atop the table, all lovingly placed around a huge flower bouquet in the middle of it.

You are so overwhelmed by the amount of work your friends must’ve put into this, that you can only stutter a ‘thank you’ before Karlach announces, “Happy birthday soldier! Halsin, Gale and Shadowheart here told us that today is your birthday and you never had a proper party before, so we decided to prepare you a little something!” With a grin she gestures from the table to one of the unoccupied beds, where a few packages are placed.

“You brought me presents too? You really didn’t have to!” you exclaim in surprise. You are so touched that your friends -among all the trouble- still found time to prepare the presents and this party for you that you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“Darling, no need to cry,” Astarion laughs as he pushes you onto your designated chair. “This is a party and not a funeral! Go ahead and enjoy yourself, it’s your special day after all!”

With a sniff and a small chuckle at Astarion’s words you sit down properly. He is right, of course, and you all clearly enjoy having a small break from the worries you faced at the moment.

Smiling hesitantly, you grab some meat and vegetables and start to eat - it really is delicious. You revel in the laughter and conversations with your friends, your weariness from todays fight forgotten for the moment.

When all of you can’t possibly eat any more, Karlach drags you over to the bed with the presents. You can tell she is excited to see if you like the few things your companions managed to get you in the time they had for preparing, so you start unpacking.

The first present contains a book on the monastery you were raised in, with a handwritten note from Gale:

“I’m sure you already know most information this book has to offer, but I thought it might still bring you comfort and remind you of home.” You thank him with a tight hug and carefully place the book into your bag.

The next package is a bottle of the finest liquor of the Elfsong Tavern, plus a sparkler for every one of your companions which Karlach sets of immediately.

Laughing at her shenanigans, you reach for the last and biggest present. It is wrapped in red paper and decorated with a little white bow. You wonder where your companions had managed to find all those things while you carefully pull the paper open. Soon a dress falls out of the packaging and you gaze at it in awe. Your fingers trace the deep forest green fabric, intricate silver and gold patterns weaved into it.

“This is beautiful, thank you, truly!” you say earnestly. You still can’t quite believe that all this should be for you. “I thought you would like it”, smiles Shadowheart. “And I’m certain it will suit you beautifully. Go now - try it on!” she urges you.

You walk to the bathroom which still smells of the quince-scented soap you had used for your bath a few hours before. While changing, you bask in that warm feeling in your chest these moments among your friends always grant you. Whatever problems you had encountered, in your opinion they have all been worth it just for the people you found and let into your heart along the way. As cheesy as that sounds.

You regard yourself in the mirror. The dress is cut low and close-fitting, capturing your cleavage in a very flattering way. Maybe too flattering, if you think about it too much. This isn’t something you’d usually wear, but you have to admit that you like the way the dress looks on you. A bit insecure you go back into your room, where you are greeted with approving cheers and whistles from your friends.

“You look absolutely stunning”, Shadowheart admires. “I knew it would look good on you! Turn around please”, she commands. You do what you are told, with red cheeks at the compliment.

When you face Shadowheart again, you notice Halsin gazing at you with pure admiration - and something else you can’t quite place. You think you notice a golden shimmer in his eyes, but that could be a trick of the light considering all the candles in the room.

“I must admit, your neck looks very tempting in that dress but I know someone who is a lot hungrier for you than me right now”, Astarion remarks with a wicked grin and a sideward glance. You frown at him, though you can’t help your heart skipping a beat at these words. Could he possibly mean Halsin?

“Now, what would a party be without some music and dance?” Wyll interrupts your thoughts and as if these words have summoned her, the bard the party had met in the druid grove appears in the doorway.

“Alfira!” you exclaim happily and immediately rush over to hug her. “I’m so glad you got to Baldur’s Gate alright!”

Alfira grins at you. “Yes, thanks to you and your friends here. When they reached out to me today and told me it was your birthday, I just had to come! Wyll organised everything.” You nod to him in thanks. “Now, I don’t have anything to give you but just tell me what you want to hear and I will play it for you!”

“Thanks, Alfira, that’s more than enough for me”, you beam and lead her into the room towards your group. “Wyll, now is your chance to show me your dancing!” You say as you take his hand and pull him into the middle of the room, then you grab Karlach and Gale and start to move to the tune Alfira started to play. Karlach swirls you around and Wyll shows you the dance moves from court, which -to be honest- remind you a bit of the mating dances you had seen with a few bird species.

Out of breath from all the dancing and laughing, you request a slower tune from the tiefling bard. You manage to persuade Shadowheart to put away her wine for a moment and start to waltz around the room with her. She is quite the good dancer and you wonder where she had learned it, with her being raised in a Sharran temple and everything.

At the next tune, you approach Halsin. With your head light from the wine, you have finally gathered the courage to ask him for what you have secretly thought about the whole time.

Still, you can feel your heart beating in your throat. “Erm…Halsin, w-would you honour me with a dance?” you eventually manage to mumble out shyly.

“Of course, little flower. Whatever your heart desires.” That particular heart skips a beat at his intimate tone. “Although you might wish you hadn’t asked me that once you’ve seen my dancing”, he adds with a chuckle as he takes your hand.

He leads you into the room and starts to swirl you around to the melody of Alfira’s lute. He definitely isn’t as graceful as Shadowheart but certainly not as bad as he has made it sound. But even if he’d had the dancing skills of a bugbear, you wouldn’t have noticed. His large and warm hand around your waist and the smile with which he regards you sends your pulse through the ceiling. His smell of pine and honey and fresh air intoxicates you and it is hard to keep your feet from getting tangled in your dress.

When he leans down to you, you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. “Before you go and mingle again, I still have a present for you. I wasn’t sure if you would even like it”, he admits, “but I have decided to give it to you anyways.” When the tune ends, he leads you to the space in your room where his bed stands and bends down to search his pack.

You think about how long it took you to realise how attracted you are to the druid as you admire his strong back before you. Of course, you have noticed his kindness and compassion and you have always marvelled at the way he drew strength from nature. But only since you had some kind of break these last days have you begun to understand the depth of your affection for the man before you. It runs deeper than mere friendship and the echo of his hands on your back have awoken a hunger inside you that only grows stronger the more you look at Halsin. How desperately you hope that he feels the same way about you…

When he stands up to turn around, you quickly brush away the thought that has sent the heat into your cheeks again.

“You’re the only one who knows of my secret passion”, he begins jokingly, “so I thought you might accept this as my present for your special day.” He hands you a small whittled duck he has apparently made in the hours you were away from camp. You can’t help but tear up at the thought of how much effort he has put into all the details he has carved. There are even small webbed feet on the underside of the little duck.

“Thank you Halsin, this is an amazing gift!” You smile down at the little duck. “You are amazing”, you add quietly.

“With all that you have done for me, I should be the one thanking you night and day.” As you look into his eyes again you see that his gaze is now very solemn. “There was another reason for wanting to speak to you privately. I have lived a very long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now.” Your heart flutters in recognition of his words, the confession sending sparks across your skin.

“I want more than to fight at your side, or to sit around the campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine.” Halsin’s gaze on you is intense, filling your chest with a burning heat that slowly spreads lower into your belly, as if the wine you have been drinking suddenly caught on fire inside of you.

Halsin continues, “I think you feel the same way - but tell me I’m wrong and the matter can rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if it can be something more.”

You stare at him for a moment before you realise that he waits for your answer.

“Y-you’re not wrong, far from it”, you whisper. “I would like that very much.” You smile up at him and he takes your hand in his.

“May I kiss you?” he breathes out, relieved. You nod and he bends down to gently press his lips on yours.

His hand slides up your arm and to your back while he places his other behind your head, gently pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.

You feel his tongue prodding at your lips, demanding entrance and you happily oblige. The feeling of his soft lips on yours sends you spiralling and you can’t stifle the small moan that escapes you. Halsin sends out a silent prayer to Silvanus - if that is all it takes to make you moan, what sounds do you make when he finally gets to taste you? Groaning, his hand on your back slowly wanders lower, a silent question of permission in his eyes. You press your body against his as an answer, feeling the heat radiating off his chest … and lower.

Halsins hand grips your ass firmly, making you gasp, the other joining in and hoisting you up on his hips, turning you both around and pressing your back to the wall. You cannot stop the surprised squeak that escapes your lips at the sudden movement and Halsin presses his mouth on yours to stifle it.

The feeling of the growing bulge in his pants between your legs and the low moan Halsin utters before kissing you even more vigorously sends a shiver down your spine, pressure starting to build between your thighs.

In a desperate attempt to pull him closer, your hands grip Halsin’s hair, arms, everything you can reach. But before you can lose yourself in him, Halsin releases your lips, panting, and rests his forehead against yours.

“I would very much like to continue”, he whispers, his breathing ragged and voice hoarse with desire, “but the others will expect us back and I think you would probably like a bit more privacy.” He sighs and softly kisses your hair. “I will come to your bed when the party has ended, little flower. But don’t expect much sleep”, he adds with a wicked grin. You can only nod as he gently props you back on your feet.

With your head spinning, you get back to the others, averting your eyes from the knowing smirks of Astarion and Shadowheart noticing your ruffled hair and flushed cheeks. You ignore them, trying to engage in some more conversation and one or two dances while the thought of what awaits you won’t leave your head.

When the last of the party finally bids you goodnight, you hurry to bed, awaiting Halsin. You can’t get away from the echoes of his hands on your body, heart already racing again and warmth blooming in your belly. Even if he hadn’t promised you he’d come tonight, you would’ve been unable to sleep.

A soft rustle next to your ear startles you from your thoughts and as you turn your head, you could make out Halsin’s large figure in the dark, crouching beside your bed.

He cuts you off from what you wanted to say by placing a finger on your mouth, his other hand sliding under your back and pulling you into an upright position. With your heart beating into your throat, you take the hand Halsin offers as he gently beckons you to follow him into the corridor outside of the room the party shares, then further into a small but cosy bedroom on the next floor.

The door closes with a click and before you can say anything, Halsin sweeps you up into his arms, pressing you flat against the door and capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like it burns you from the inside.

Halsin’s fresh, earthy scent floods your senses as your tongues intertwine and your hands find their way into his hair, tugging at his braids. You whine when Halsin lets go of your lips, only to gasp as he starts nibbling and placing searing kisses on your jaw while his hands squeeze your ass firmly, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

You moan at the growing ache between your thighs but plant your small fists against his shoulders anyway, gently pushing him away a bit. Halsin’s eyes, pupils wide and dark with desire, find yours.

“What is it my heart?” he asks, voice hoarse. “Do you want me to stop?” You see no disappointment in his gaze, only worry and your heart swells at how selfless your lover is. You avert your eyes, suddenly embarrassed to tell what troubles you.

“I- I j-just wanted t-to say that … um … well, I- I have never been with someone before”, you mumble eventually, averting your gaze as you blush furiously.

“Silvanus, preserve me”, Halsin groans out before almost dropping you and stumbling backwards, trying to steady himself on the small desk opposite the bed. With wide eyes you regard what is happening before you. Halsin drops to his knees, a deep animalistic growl coming from his lips as his eyes fill with golden light and he transforms into his huge bear form.

You gasp and nearly trip over your feet in an attempt to make room for the bear before you, but the animal fills almost the entire chamber. After finally regaining his composure, Halsin manages to change back into his elf form, with a snarl and a ragged breath coming from his lips.

“Forgive me. I- lost the run of myself.” He shakes his head in disgust at his outbreak, terrified that he has ruined this precious moment with you before it could properly begin, and slowly gets back to his feet. “Sometimes, when blood runs hot enough, it’s difficult to tame the beast. And the thought of you trusting me enough to share your first time with me … well, you saw what happened”, he smiles tentatively, slowly approaching you again with hesitation in his eyes.

“Don’t apologise”, you assure him with a shy smile. “I like it.” If possible, you blush even harder now. “Maybe for another time…?” you add, fidgeting nervously with the front of your dress.

A relieved grin spreads over Halsin’s face. “You like it..?”, he chuckles. “You are full of surprises, little flower.” As he steps forward, he bends down to gently plant a kiss on your cheek, only to proceed to bite at your earlobe which elicits a delicious moan from you.

“I’m glad you think so, but now you’ve made it even harder for me not to outright devour you”, his low voice whispers in your ear. “Nevertheless, I will be gentle. Or at least I’ll try to be.” You swallow hard, arousal sending shivers down your spine.

Halsin’s arms wrap around your waist again as he kisses your jaw, your forehead and nose, until eventually his lips find yours again, his tongue ravaging you like a man starving. His hands, this time directly shoving under your dress, firmly grip your thighs. He ruts against you, growling, his now rock-hard cock pressing against the confinements of his clothing.

His fingers trail higher up, kneading your ass, then stroking the soft skin of your back before slowly wandering even higher. His touch sends jolts through your body and you can feel the heat between your legs, already nearly too much to bear.

His eyes hold an unspoken question and when you nod, Halsin lifts your dress off and brings his mouth down on one of your breasts, the hand that’s not on your back now gently kneading the other, massaging the hardened nipple between his fingers. You mewl at the sensation, impossibly more pressure building between your thighs. Halsin gently bites down at your breast, only to run his tongue over it afterwards to soothe the mark he made. You moan and arch your back, desperately trying to press closer against Halsin’s still overly clothed erection, wanting to feel everything of him.

He growls and his mouth begins to place kisses down your front, between your breasts, on the soft flesh of your belly until he is on his knees before you, his warm breath fanning over you and flooding you with heat.

“More?” he asks, his pupils blown wide with lust, as his thumbs brush the soft skin between your legs. “Please”, you whine, knees almost too weak to stand and your underwear already embarrassingly soaked.

Halsin wastes no time, pressing kisses on the insides of your thighs, his one hand holding you in place and his other slowly -too slowly- sliding your panties down your legs. The sight of you bare and dripping with need before him almost makes him lose control again, makes him want to take you, devour you, fuck you, mark you and then fill you to the brim with his cum but with a groan he wills himself to calm down and be gentle with you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t.

He exhales deeply, lifting one of your legs up and slowly swiping his tongue through your wet folds, which earns him a choked gasp. His nose nudges your clit as his tongue starts stroking, slowly at first, then faster and with more pressure. You can’t help the way each expert swipe of his tongue makes your hips buck into his mouth as countless moans and sighs fall out of your mouth. Halsin growls in response, the vibrations around your sensitive bud making your legs shake. You can barely keep up and the coil in your belly is tightening ever faster with Halsin’s mouth sucking your clit and his tongue inside you.

“You are sweeter than honey, my heart”, he groans as his tongue presses flat against you. “Let me taste you as you come undone on my tongue.” With your mind clouded with lust, all you can do is moan out Halsin’s name and press yourself further against your lover’s mouth.

With a wicked grin, Halsin inserts a second finger into your quivering hole, pushing inside over and over again, holding you firmly in place as you try to writhe away from the intense pleasure. His fingers coil upwards in response, hitting a spot inside you that makes you see stars.

He understands anyway, now slowly dragging a thick finger through your dripping folds until he stops, teasingly pressing against your entrance. You whine, begging him to fill you, to do anything to release the overwhelming pressure between your thighs. When he finally thrusts into you, you can’t stifle the cry of pleasure that escapes your mouth. With Halsin’s finger now working your cunt open, his mouth continues its ministrations, licking and sucking your clit, soaking your legs with your slick.

“Please Halsin…”, you beg, toes curling and legs shaking, “I’m close- I- Oh!“

Moaning into your cunt, Halsin picks up his pace, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue swipes over your clit again and again, bringing you closer to your end.

One more thrust with his fingers and a soft nip of his teeth against the sensitive bud between your legs is all it needs to send you spiralling over the edge. “Ha- Halsin!” you cry out, hips jerking violently and fingers digging into his shoulders as your orgasm hits you with the force of a lightning bolt. He moans at the sensations of your walls contracting around his fingers, the urge to take you and feel you squeeze his cock with your needy cunt almost overwhelming him.

You whine when he pulls his fingers out and stands up, bringing you in for a passionate kiss as you still struggle to regain your breath. Tasting yourself on Halsin’s tongue pulls a small moan from you and an embarrassed heat creeps up your back at the thought of how aroused you already are again.

With a smile, Halsin pulls away. “You are amazing, little flower”, he whispers breathlessly as he picks you up and gently places you on the bed, admiring your flushed body.

If Halsin’s tongue hadn’t just turned your mind to goo, you might have been able to return that compliment, but alas-

“May I go further?” Halsin asks and when you nod he swiftly discards of his clothes, you licking your lips at the sight of the elf naked before you. Your eyes take in his form, from his muscled arms down to the soft curve of his belly and- oh gods. Your eyes widen. You didn’t think he would be that big and the thought of him filling you makes you gulp down a mixture of fear and arousal.

Attentive as always, Halsin notices your insecurity and bends down to press gentle kisses against your ear. “We don’t have to do this, my heart…”, he whispers while he rubs soothing circles into your hips. He looks at you, his expression earnest. You bite your lip, thinking for a moment before answering. “N-no, I want this”, you assure him, your voice still weak but pleading now. The way you look so sweet with your little fangs on your lips makes Halsin feral and he kisses you again, desperate and more passionate this time. He groans into the kiss as he gently spreads your legs for him, lining up his tip with your dripping slit and sliding through your soft folds before stopping just at your entrance. The sensation of his hard length so close to entering you is enough to make your head fall back, eyes squeezed shut. “If it’s getting too much, tell me and I will stop immediately”, he whispers soothingly. “Now relax for me, little flower.”

All thoughts leave your head as Halsin slides in, agonizingly slow. The stretch would be painful if your lover hadn’t prepared you so thoroughly beforehand, but now you only feel pure bliss. Raising your head, you can see that he isn’t even halfway in but gods, you feel so full already that you can’t stifle the choked gasp that escapes your throat.

“You’re doing so well, my heart. Just a little bit more- mngh-!“ Halsin’s growl sends jolts through your spine as he finally bottoms out. You can see just how much effort it takes him to hold back by the way his jaw tenses and his chest is heaving.

“By Silvanus, you’re so tight-!“ A shiver crawls down his back, carrying a wave of soft golden light with it, as Halsin’s eyes light up with his magic for a moment. The thought of how you are able to bring your lover to the precipice of losing control is extremely flattering and you feel yourself clenching around Halsin’s cock, making him grunt in response. Finally somewhat accustoming to his size, you arch your back into the mattress below you. The new angle makes you moan in pleasure as you grip the sheets for support.

“Are you still feeling good, little flower?”, Halsin asks as he slides a hand from your hip under your back to support you. You can only form one thought. “More- please Halsin!” you whine desperately. You don’t have to ask twice, with a low growl he slides out - just to knock the breath out of you with his first, hard thrust. He sets a steady pace, one that leaves you moaning and gasping out his name. Halsin takes your small hands into his, pressing them into the bed beside you to pin you down, pushing into you deep and slow while he places bites and kisses on your throat and chest that will surely leave marks come morning.

Gods, Halsin thought. The sight of your small body sprawled beneath him, split apart by his thick cock while he fucks into you relentlessly is driving him insane. He is growling with every thrust now and each one of them makes you cry out in pleasure. It doesn’t take long until he has you on the precipice of release again, your cunt fluttering around Halsin’s length.

“H- halsin- please! I’m so close!” you can only beg, not sure if you can take much more, your body feeling like it might explode. “Come for me, my heart”, Halsin demands in a gravelly voice before pressing a thumb to your clit, rubbing and massaging until his name leaves your lips in a hoarse cry as your orgasm hits you with full force. Your hips jerk upwards, walls clenching around Halsin as you notice the tears from the overwhelming pleasure streaming down your face. He continues to pound into you, prolonging your release and muttering praises for you under his breath.

Through the fog in your mind you wonder how Halsin still has the energy to keep going, his pace unwavering while you are completely spent, gladly accepting whatever your lover has to give you as long as you’re not required to move.

“I know it’s a lot right now but I need you to cum for me one more time, my heart”, Halsin huffs with a strained voice, pushing inside you once more and grabbing a fistful of your hair to keep you in place. The new position lets him slide even deeper than before and you can’t help the strangled cry that leaves you when Halsin starts pounding into you again, hitting a spot that makes your eyes roll back with blinding pleasure.

So, you do not see it coming when Halsin suddenly pulls out of you, the unexpected emptiness making you whine in displeasure, only for him to flip you over and press your chest into the soft bedding while he gently raises your hips.

“’s too much- please-!” you sob, your poor overstimulated clit still trying to recover from the last orgasm. But Halsin doesn’t relent and you can feel sharp pricks on your hips where his hand grips you, fingers partially wild-shaped into claws and his head thrown back in ecstasy. Seeing just how feral you drive him makes your hole clench around his shaft, the squeeze causing his hips to stutter as a grunt leaves his lips. “Silvanus preserve me”, Halsin pants as he fucks into you even faster, “if you keep squeezing me like that I will not be able to stop myself from claiming you completely, from making you mine and filling you up with my seed.”

You whimper at the image of Halsin pumping his cum into you, fucking it deep into your womb until he is sure that it has taken hold. You cannot pretend you haven’t thought about it before, the idea usually sending an embarrassed heat into your cheeks, but now - gods, now you needed it.

Completely breathless you moan, “Halsin I- ah-! please-! Fill me with your cubs!” These words were the last needed for Halsin to lose himself completely in you, driving himself into you with punishing strokes that cause you to arch yourself into him while moans and whispered curses fall from both your lips. The coil in your stomach is so tight again and when Halsin takes the hand from your hip to softly press on your lower belly you see stars. Your walls clench around Halsin’s cock and you feel him twitch inside you, a sign that he too is close to release. All it takes to send you over the edge is his finger pressed against your clit, your body shaking violently beneath him, toes curling, while waves of ecstasy course through you and you cry out his name.

With a last snap of his hips and a low moan, Halsin comes as well, twitching cock releasing hot spurts of cum inside your still fluttering walls. He continues to pump into you until the aftershocks of your shared orgasm have subsided, before he slowly pulls out. You collapse onto the mattress, exhaustion settling over your overstimulated body.

Halsin gets onto the bed with you, gently gathering you up in his arms and placing your head against his broad chest. “You’ve done so well for me, little flower”, he whispers into your ear, placing soft kisses on your face before he looks your body up and down. One of his hands comes up to stroke a strand of hair away from your damp forehead and to gently lift your chin in order to look you in the eyes. You note worry in his gaze, his brows furrowed in remorse when he plants a feather light kiss on your lips.

“I’ve hurt you”, he states. “I’m so sorry, my heart. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”

You smile up at him and cuddle deeper into his arms before you shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I loved every second of it. There is no birthday present in this world that can ever match this”, you confess with a shy grin. “Although I have to admit I’m a little sore. You sure did your best to make sure I’m unable to walk tomorrow.”

Halsin chuckles. “I can help with that”, he answers with a sly smile, his free hand sliding down your body to stroke through your soft folds, muttering an incantation under his breath. As the familiar glow of the healing spell engulfs his fingers, you feel a rush of warmth where he touches you. A moan escapes your lips before you could stop it, eliciting a mischievous smirk from your lover as you hide your face against his chest in embarrassment.

“I’d be happy to go again, my love, but I think you need some rest first. Besides, we still have an Elderbrain to kill, so we’ll need our strength tomorrow.” You nod at that, the tiredness in your bones leaving you unable to object, even if you had wanted to. But you know he is right, so when Halsin wraps a blanket around you to carry you to the bathroom, you just relax into his chest, the sound of his steady breathing soothing you.

When the bathtub is filled with warm water, you are already half asleep, barely registering that Halsin is gently cleaning you up, rinsing the sweat from your hair and body and rubbing salve over the bite marks and the bruises on your hips once you are dry again.

You can hear the soft snores and deep breathing from your companions when Halsin brings you back into the room you share, all of them already fast asleep. Absentmindedly you wonder how long you and Halsin have been away, but the thought is gone as soon as Halsin places you on your bed.

“Goodnight, my little flower. Sleep well.” He gives you a kiss and turns to leave. You manage to grab his hand before he does, stopping him in his tracks.

“Stay with me tonight?” you mumble sleepily. Halsin smiles, warmth and adoration filling his chest as he carefully climbs next to you, the bedframe creaking slightly with his additional weight, and wraps his arms around your smaller figure. The thought of how your companions might react in the morning seeing you two in one bed briefly crosses your mind, but Halsin’s steady breathing and the soft pulse of his heart against your back soon drown out anything else as you drift to sleep in his warm embrace.

[bakugoushotwife]

Inextricable Angst Ending

a/n: here's the angst ending! meant to be read after Sasuke is healed. it's painful im sorry

fluff ending // first part

Kakashi was chosen to be the Sixth Hokage, and at the time you were thrilled. You knew Kakashi had what it takes to keep the village safe. He instills Itachi and Shisui as village heroes, which delights you. He’s able to pardon Sasuke for his crimes considering his war efforts and sacrifice to the village. 

He hates what he has to do next. Ultimately he has to do it for the sake of the five hidden villages, they’ll never feel safe with the possibility. He’s watched you and Sasuke grow closer than ever before, and he can see the love you have for one another. So the day he calls the two of you into the Hokage’s office to announce these plans, his heart breaks. All Five Kage had thought about this painstakingly, and this was the best resolution. 

“Sasuke, Y/N. Thank you for responding so quickly. I..well.” He clears his throat, wondering what exactly is the right thing to say in a situation like this one. “The five Kage convened recently, here in the Leaf. The other Kage have made me aware that they are..worried about the two of you rebuilding your clan. They fear a repeat of the earlier histories.” Kakashi explains wearily. 

Sasuke straightens his back, looking over at you quickly. “What are you saying, Kakashi?”

“I’m saying the Kage agreed to intervene to prevent you two from marriage and having children. Y/N…will be married to the Kazekage in three weeks.” He replies, clearly pained by the ordeal. He can’t even meet your eyes. 

Your world comes crashing down around you. Sasuke and you just found each other, spending every night talking and touching and being together, like you’re inextricably obligated to. Sasuke’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, feeling only those nasty flames of anger and hatred licking back up his body. 

“I–I can’t believe you would do this to me.” You whisper softly, devastated that Kakashi could settle for such an arrangement. 

“I had no choice. Either that, or they want your original sentences served for desertion and treason. Y/N…I’m sorry.” Kakashi frowns, arms folded over his chest. “Sasuke…I know that Sakura would make a lovely partner, and she cares for you very much.” 

His words cut both of you down, sucking the wind out of your lungs. All this heartache and pain that you’ve gone through, it’s not over. It would never be over. You’re forbidden to be together, just like in all those awful books. Is this really how your story ends?

Gaara is a wonderful man and you’ve always been happy to call him your friend. You’re sure he would do his best to be a good husband to you, but he wasn’t Sasuke. He could never fill that gap, no matter how hard he tried. And to think about Sasuke with Sakura…it was torture. You got up and slammed the door behind you on the way out. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, you met Sasuke when you could. Each time it felt worse and worse, because both of you knew it was closer to the last time. You hold each other a little closer, he kisses you a little rougher than intended, but he just wants to savor the way you taste and the shape of your body under his hand. He knew you would be safe, and as happy as anyone forced into a marriage can be, but every bone in his body wanted to take you and leave this village again. 

But he knew that you didn’t want that life of danger, and neither did he. He wanted to protect the Leaf, and make it up to the people who couldn’t trust him to marry the woman he loves. Maybe he could prove them wrong. But it would be too late by then. Maybe this is what you meant when you said that life doesn’t work off of deserving, but he had to disagree. This is exactly what he deserves. He’s done so much bad, how could he think he was going to get his happily ever after? You were an Uchiha Princess, you deserved to be married to a Kage and be forever safe and catered to. But he stole all the time with you he could. 

True to Kakashi’s word, three weeks from the day he told you about the occasion, you were being wed to the Kazekage. It was a grand spectacle, you think mostly to ease the nerves of the other Kage. The entire Leaf and Sand combine into one massive cathedral-esque type of building, and it’s decorated to the gods. You can smell all the food that’s been made in preparation as you stare at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful. This was a fact, your hair was pinned in elaborate braids and your makeup was perfect. You wore a simple but beautiful and traditional Sand style gown. You had citizens of the sand excitedly racing around your room to make sure every detail was in place, and it was magical. 

If only the groom were your preferred choice. Not that you really had one. 

Kakashi walks you out, the previously raucous crowd falling silent at the sight of you. “You do look beautiful, sweet girl.” He hums in your ear. 

“Thank you.” You return politely, not trying to make a spectacle. You can feel Sasuke’s eyes, and you find him easily. He smiles sadly at you, receiving a pat of support from Naruto. Sakura is on his other side. You smile sadly too.

The ceremony is nice, Gaara is kind and you hope you can come to love him in any way similar to Sasuke, because he deserves a good wife. He has made you comfortable since you arrived and tried to give you whatever space or comfort you’ve asked for. He held your hands now, in front of both of your villages, and swore his loyalty to you. 

“I, Gaara of the Hidden Sand, the 5th Kazekage, swear my life to yours. I will make you happy, protect you, and give you anything you ever want or need. I will love you and honor you for all our days.” 

Sasuke is visibly upset, though he tries to hide it just for you. Naruto squeezes his friend’s hand. He was upset for the both of you, having third wheeled your relationship for most of his life. 

The crowd anxiously waits for you to speak. Gaara squeezes your hands in support, and you can tell he’s trying to be the best for you. You smile softly.

“I, Y/N Uchiha, of the Hidden Leaf, the Sharingan Princess, swear my life to yours. I will make you happy, protect you, and give you anything you ever want or need. I will love you and honor you for all our days.” You repeat, allowing him to lean in for the first kiss of your marriage. 

And just like that, you were the wife of the Kazekage, Sasuke Uchiha's Princess no longer.

[swamp-spirit]

I’ve been resisting getting into Internet Fights about my Oshi no Ko opinions, but they have been building in my heart and I need to get them off my chest. It’s a long ramble, but the upshot is:

1. People are way to harsh on Akane 2. Aqua sucks, but also his feelings about Ai are way more nuanced than he gets credit for 3. Ruby also sucks, and pretending she doesn’t is a disservice to her as a character 4. Holy shit this got long

Ahoy for manga spoilers

With the first episode out, I want to start by saying this: I am putting Gorou’s comments about dating Ai to the side for this meta. Obviously it is wrong for a grown-ass man to hesitate when asked if he’d date a teen celeb. I see his comments towards Serena as just trying to offer comfort, but his comments towards Ai are an absolute NOPE. If somebody isn’t able to engage with Aqua at all after that, or engage with the show, I think that’s perfectly understandable, but I also think, to discuss any other aspect of Aqua and his relationship with Ai, I am filing that under ‘yup, that’s some creepy anime bullshit‘.

Now onto the meta.

So Akane’s pissed people off again. And what she said is pretty fucked up. Like “I know your dead Mom better than you because I studied her“???

The thing is, she isn’t wrong. Like she shouldn’t have said it. Akane is good at reading people, but bad at communicating normally. But like.... she isn’t wrong.

Ruby has a very specific image of her mother. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing her to Aqua and how much more pure her love is. She called Ai “Mama“ and Aqua only ever used her name! He never got beyond seeing her as a sexy object.

This doesn’t ring true for me at all.

Ai was emotionally stunted and starved for love. Like a lot of teens in that position, she went looking for it in bad places. She became the idol of people who saw her as an object. She had children in hopes they’d give her a family.

This is actually a really common thing for teen moms, and the stories don’t usually turn out like Ai’s. Toddlers are dependent on their parents, but they don’t have empathy. They’re temperamental and selfish, they’ll kick and bite and yell that they hate you and you’re a bad mom. And that’s normal and natural! That’s part of being a kid! Aqua wanted Ai to have normal kids, but I think it’s somewhat lucky she got two kids who adored her so entirely.

To Ruby, Ai was perfect. Serena didn’t have present parents. She was a lonely dying kid, and Ai was everything she didn’t have. Ai was loved. She traveled, she could move her body like she wanted, she was beautiful and bright.

Even though Ruby wasn’t a ‘real’ child, I think Ai was entirely her mother. Serena attached to Gorou because he was there when her parents weren’t. Ai was Serena’s first chance to have a parent, and Ai seems to be this perfect being to her. Only now, as she reaches the age Ai was and experiences the intense emotions of coming into adulthood, she’s starting to wonder if maybe Ai was unhappy too. She never once considers that Ai would want the world to know about her kids. To her, Ai was the perfect idol, and anything that threatens that is disrespectful to Ai.

But that wasn’t what Ai wanted. We know now she felt stifled by her image and wanted to share her true self. I was particularly hit by the short story where one of Ai’s Idol co-starts deletes a vulnerable message from Ai, wishing for friendship. She can’t stand seeing Ai as a vulnerable, full person and wants to protect Ai’s image as the perfect idol.

I don’t mean to say Ruby’s love of Ai is any less, but she very much feels like a child who isn’t fully ready to see her mother as a person. I think there’s some happiness for her in being an idol, but I think it’s tragic. I see people wishing it could just be a sweet manga about a daughter chasing her dream to feel connected to her mother, but... I think some of those people miss the point of what being an idol means in this story. Ai became an idol to learn to love and be loved, and found herself isolated and fake. Ruby chases a sick girl’s dream and the connection idoldom gives her to the two adults that first showed her love, but we’re seeing that she’s putting that over the relationships she has now. She’s chasing the same dream of perfect love and sabotaging her relationship with everyone in her life to get it.

Now for Aqua’s feelings.

I think it matters a lot to learn about Gorou’s family situation. His life story is one of feeling he failed to protect women. And it’s made him real weird.

His mom died having him and like... lots of kids feel guilty for that, but he spent his whole childhood being blamed for it. Serena is the only genuine connection we saw him making and, by the way her carried that badge, I don’t think it’s just that his other connections weren’t on screen. He saw somebody else who wasn’t loved and did his best to be there for her. And watched her die again.

The crush on Ai is HELLA CREEPY, but, at the end of the day, he didn’t hit on her or put his feelings first. He focused on her health, and, when he was reincarnated, his thought was “good, now I can protect her“. He didn’t see her as a mother, but, unlike Ruby, he saw her as vulnerable. He wanted to protect his ‘fake‘ mother in a way he hadn’t been able to protect his real one, in the way he hadn’t been able to protect Serena, and he failed in the most brutal way. We see in his panic attack that he still feels like the responsible adult that should have been able to protect her, that Ai was a young woman under his care, AND that part of him feels like the scared five year old who was so small and tiny when a grown-ass man stabbed his mother in front of him.

It’s also defined the rift between the twins. Ruby sees herself as a victim, trapped on the other side of the glass as somebody took away her beloved mother, and who is still being shut out. Aqua sees himself as complicit, somebody who’d promised to protect Ai, that watched her get stabbed and bleed out. Ruby wants to protect her mother’s secrets and the perfect image Ai gave everything to, Aqua wants the world to know the human woman behind the image.

And it’s made Aqua weird around women. He doesn’t want Ruby or Akane or Kana to be another woman he fails to protect. He shuts them out, lies, and denies them agency to protect himself from losing them again. I think it’s also telling that, even though revenge was his reason for living as a child, when he thought he didn’t need to get revenge anymore, he wasn’t lost and without purpose, he was happy. (And declared he would now dedicate his life to protecting Akane, a chance to succeed where he’s always failed) He isn’t clinging to his revenge, he’s caught in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure.

Akane is good at reading people. Kana and Ruby are both very much teens. Aqua’s actions are inexplicable and infuriating. Akane knows what’s up. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, but she knows what’s up. Aqua isn’t a baffling enigma, he’s a fucked up dude on a downward spiral.

She’s not trying to stop him from killing his dad because Murdering a Serial Killer is Bad. She’s straight up offered to help kill him. But she and the director are the only people who have picked up exactly how much Aqua hates himself, and that he very well might plan to die to do this. Aqua doesn’t think he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t value his own life! Shit is dire!

Aqua saved her, and is probably one of the few people she can truly talk to. Akane is a socially awkward weirdo who’s too smart for her age, and Aqua appreciates it and plays on her level. She’s emotionally clumsy and accidentally cruel, but I think she’s right that Ruby isn’t seeing her mother as a full person yet (which is normal for a teen! especially a deeply traumatized teen) and she’s right that, if left unchecked, Aqua will destroy himself because he feels like he deserves it.

Like, I totally get thinking Kana and Aqua are more romantically compatible, but right now, Aqua desperately needs somebody who can call him on his bullshit. I’m so sick of people hating on Akane for not being blindly supportive on what is pretty clearly a complicated suicide attempt.

[lovesick-feelings]

How about Security Puppet from pizzeria simulator romance headcanons? Yan or not

Hello and thank you for this request!! I hope you don't mind I choose more of a yandere approach at the end! (ᅌᴗᅌ)

It's so surprising seeing how little content there is for Security Puppet. Even when I looked at their wiki they barely had any pictures of them. It such a shame that Pizza simulator barely focused on them and the other 4 main animatronics (ノ﹏ヽ)

❤ Being one of the Puppet’s counterparts, they share the same qualities of being protective and caring. However, I see Security Puppet being more open to showing interest and affection to their S/O sooner than the others.

❤ As a safety bot, they need to scan areas to keep track of the place, you’d see them popping out of their box often. Whether you are a worker or a customer they notice you immediately. They are the first animatronic to greet you in the building.

❤ They know they can look a bit off-putting at first. Not being able to talk doesn't help either so, of course, they have to introduce themselves with a surprise gift!

❤ Cue glitter being thrown at your face, hopefully, that didn't get in your eyes :(

❤ More of these occurrences will happen with the puppet just coming up to you to give you a nicely wrapped box. The gifts always consist of snacks and cheap toys at the prize counter. They’re working with what they got, guys.

❤ Bros just standing like🧍to see your reaction. If they don't sense much enthusiasm, they’ll try again till they find your interests. Once they see you like something they’ll get 50 more those to see that smile again.

❤ Spending time with you is their main way of expressing their love! Anything from playing arcade games to listening to the Puppet’s music box together makes their heart swell. Even when you get busy Security Puppet can’t help but watch from a distance how cute you are.

❤ It comes to a point where the Security Puppet would be comfortable enough to follow you the whole day just to see what you were up to. They wouldn't hide it too, hovering 3 feet away from you. It honestly feels more like a puppy following its owner than a stalker.

❤ By the time you express more comfort, they'll offer more hugs too. They are so gentle and enthusiastic when they come in contact with you that it overshadows their cold and skinny body.

❤ Unlike Puppet It's hard to see Security Puppet being possessive over their S/O. Where Puppet would be more aggressive towards people they dislike Security Puppet only looms next to you as you talk so they can hangout with you after. People seem to leave faster when they're around :)

❤ Even if they were to get rejected, they never would lash out and go to extremes since they value their S/O’s happiness. 

❤ The only case in which Security Puppet would act is if you are being threatened or harmed. They are quick to act and show no hesitation in attacking or sending others to attack that individual. 

❤At that point, they’d have no choice but to keep their darling safe in the pizzeria where you could be under their protection at all times. Security Puppet hates to see you so upset by this change but they're sure you'll understand soon. They’ll be there to help you along the way.

[sisterofficerlucychen]

6, 7, 8, 13, 21, 25 + Tim Bradford

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

childhood trauma. tim’s dad was the first man to fail him, my dad was the first man to fail me, and a lot of how that stayed with him and shaped him resonates with me - the pain his father caused, how he never felt protected by him, how instead of being a role model he taught him who not to be. 

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

that we all simp tim bradford? ♡ no but i do enjoy how as a fandom his character growth and development has been acknowledged. how many of us had a similar first impression with him and the answer to anyone new to the fandom with tim is to “just wait” because it’s also a pretty universal experience of changing opinions about him? even if he isn’t everyone’s favorite, at least being able to recognize how far this character has come. 

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

this has to do more with the actors themselves but it stems from the characters - shipping the actors irl saying how they should be together or they’re in love or whatever. the commentary that gets made and how they’ll spam their personal socials with it is so disrespectful. admiring their friendship and how well they work together is one thing but trying to parallel fiction to real life is gross and it has actual consequences. 

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄  i swear he rolls his eyes or scoffs at someone at least once per episode bc mr. “do i look like a big softy?” is a patient man when it matters but does not have time for people’s bullshit. i also feel like this is probably his most used emoji haha.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

i like trying to get into his head, figuring out his motives and actions, really considering how he’d react or what he’d say. he’s so layered it creates so much opportunity in writing him that it's really fun. not necessarily something i don’t like but something that gets challenging is he’s sometimes so complex that trying to figure him out seems impossible so i worry i’m not writing him to who he is or am accurately capturing his voice.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

so i have two?? haha. very first impression of the first episode i ever watched was 2x11 and i just remembering thinking “damn, is the woman missing his gf/wife?? he’s so upset" (now that i think about it, i may have missed the beginning of the episode bc i was v confused for a hot second) but to the actual beginning of the series - omg, i HATED him. i was ready to throw hands at timothy bradford because the scene with the gardeners was actually a little triggering (grateful they circled back to it with lucy calling him out on it and tim acknowledging that was wrong of him and growing from it). i had a very similar reaction to lucy of just being appalled and then having this moment of “wait, what?” when they bumped into isabel and how it was clear that there was so much more to him than what he was letting on. i think it took me a few episodes to warm up to him but i do remember wondering if he was going to be the series villain or antagonist from how he was presented in that first half of the pilot. but no (thank god) turns out he was just a very broken man in a very dark place - i think that’s part of why he is my favorite (it flips between him and lucy depending on the day, lbr) but just the rawness and depth there is to him. between learning about his backstory and how that shaped him to his character development through the years, this man has such a special place in my heart (side note: so excited about whatever is going down in s6 that has eric learning more about tim bc we love to see that character growth). he’s just so human and there’s something so refreshing about that? to quote him, “he’s a man of contradictions” and it shows in how “some things matter more”. he’s someone people should want in their corner because the love, care, and loyalty he has for those that matter the most to him is so special. i think he deserves the world and to be protected at all costs. now i'll throw hands for him lol.

[paperstorm]

10 random lines

I am LATE but I was tagged by @cinnaluminum @reyesstrand and @rmd-writes

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or three), and share it! Then tag 10 people.

He tastes like mint. Must’ve chewed some gum or a Tic-Tac before coming over to ask TK to dance, and TK resolutely sets that information down and doesn’t pick it up again because if he has to think about there being intention in the way this man approached him, he might have to stop kissing him. Back to the habit after kicking it (911 Lone Star)

“Dude, I was born in Manhattan,” TK defends. “Lived there my whole life until three months ago. Nobody I grew up with knows how to drive, having a car on the island makes no sense unless you’re super rich or have some kind of kink for sitting in traffic for an hour to go 10 blocks.” Life's a game of inches (911 Lone Star)

Merlin seeks Arthur’s lips for a messy kiss, tilting his hips to change the angle and pushing Arthur inside just a bit deeper, rubbing, sending resplendent waves of pleasure through him. He wants so badly – aches, really – to be everything Arthur could ever need so Arthur never has to look anywhere else. Golden Hour (Merlin)

“I couldn’t remember every kiss, not 800 years of them, but I remember that one,” Joe continues, in a dreamy voice. He is more emotional than Nicky. Quicker to anger, and indignance, and ferociously protective of those he loves. His fire burns quick and hot, and when it melts into languid moments such as this, where he’s introspective and soft-hearted, it’s Nicky who aches to protect him. Nothing But a Song (The Old Guard)

Nile surprises them with her poker skills, in the evening when Joe breaks out a pack of cards and they sit around the table with an old radio on in the background. The nights were long and boring, sometimes, when she was stationed overseas, and she took a considerable amount of money off all her commanding officers in the months she was there. It’s that baby face, one of them had complained, you never think it’s lying to you until it is. Hands Battered but Hearts Survive (The Old Guard)

They struggle to pay the bills and sometimes they run out of hot water before both of them have had a chance to shower and they have to hide their love away to keep it safe from people who would want to hurt them if they knew, but despite all that, they’re happy. It aches and it aches and it aches in Bucky’s chest to think of how much he took it for granted, how many times he should have told Steve he loved him but didn’t, how likely it is that they’ll never have that again. Bucky’s not as simple as he’s been pretending. He doesn’t believe the advertisements, the campaigns that promise they’ll be gone six months and home as heroes by Christmas. That’s what they said last time, and millions never came home. Parallel Sinking Ships (MCU)

Steve sways a little on his feet as Bucky works, and Bucky sees the crash coming. Steve must have been running on sheer adrenaline since the end of their latest mission, perhaps spurred on by grief over the people he hadn’t been able to save this time and anger at himself for his perceived failings. He’d managed to get himself to Wakanda and to Bucky on nothing but leftover fumes, and they’re very quickly running out. Through the Monsoon (MCU)

“Do you want to know the moment I hated myself the most, in all this?” Nick asks. Pieces of himself, he figures. He knows better than anyone how tough it is to be so see-through. To know that despite all his best efforts, he’s utterly transparent. Maybe he can be transparent on purpose; maybe that will make Charlie feel safer in the notion of confessing. All Of These Moving Parts (Heartstopper)

Sitting here, holding TK’s arm in his hand, he feels like he can sense TK slipping away right here in front of him, filtering through his fingers like sand. No matter how he tries, Carlos can’t seem to grasp him tight enough to keep him. And maybe that’s always been the problem. Maybe he’s never known how to do that. Collateral damage (911 Lone Star)

“If we’re playing around, if we’re having fun and you want me to be a little rough that’s fine. I love that, too. Not when you’re this upset. I can’t …” He runs out of ways to explain the way that makes him feel, to imagine being rough with TK while he’s crying and using the mix of pleasure and pain to distract himself from his grief. Of him associating Carlos with hurt in a moment like this, of him believing he doesn’t deserve to be treated gently, maybe because someone died while TK was there and in the dark recesses of his mind he thinks he should be punished for that. Silent (911 Lone Star)

I'm not sure who's done this already but I will tag @musette22 @riricitaa @bubblesandroses8 @chaotictarlos @theghostofashton and @tailoredshirt

[blackberrywars]

Campfire - Jaskier/Suffering

SFW prompt fill for day 2 of the @witchersummercamp event!!! Many thanks to my lovely beta @hellinglasses and a big fuck-you to netflix

Rating: T

Words: 2848

Pairing: Pre-Relationship Jaskier/Geralt/Yennefer, Geralt/Yennefer, Jaskier & Ciri

Tags: Angst, Arguing, Self-Worth Issues, Emotional Trauma, Physical Trauma, Hunger, Protective!Jaskier, Toxic Relationships, Parenting, Geralt Always Says The Worst Possible Thing, Yennefer Is Defensive

Summary: Jaskier has a front-row seat to watch the two people he loves most destroy each other, and as much as he hates it, he can’t leave Ciri alone when Geralt and Yennefer are so destructive. He lights the fire himself and gives them a piece of all of our minds.

Read on AO3

——————————————————————————————

Sometimes, Jaskier misses his jail cell. The guards had been tasteless, tactless bastards, to be sure, but Martin and Polly had been good little gentlemen and even better companions to him, tiny and furry though they were. He hopes that they’re well. They listened to his songs and his words and his pain. With them, he could speak about his heartbreak until he made something useful out of it, or at least was able to put his own stupidity out into the air —how foolish he’d been to fall for two immortal beings who, even now, regard him as a plaything at best. Even now, he wishes to talk to the little mice. Tell them how terrible it is, to watch the people he loves love each other and hurt each other and ruin each other right in front of his eyes. Just as in the cell, it might give him a bit of peace while Geralt and Yennefer bicker.

“I lit an entire army aflame, witcher, for fucks’ sake, I can handle this.”

“Hm. And then right after that, you lost your magic. You’re still weak.”

“Gods, you’re insufferable. Don’t you hear yourself, you self-righteous prick?”

The witch and the witcher. As gorgeous as they are powerful, as lovely as they are dreadful, as pretty as they are petty. Jaskier admires them from his stump across the large clearing, memorizing the sharp planes of an especially frustrated Geralt’s face and the unfairly lustrous swish of Yennefer’s hair as she turns away from him, groaning with irritation. They’re awfully beautiful. He has and will again go on about it in the future when they decide to behave less fucking immaturely than the skinny, nervous seven year-old beside him. The past few weeks hadn’t exactly been quiet between the two, but such a squabble was inevitable. If they don’t argue over some trifling bullshit at least once every two weeks, he’s convinced they’ll explode. And probably take it out on him again. He sighs, turning to look at Ciri, who watches, just as fascinated. 

The poor thing.

Four parents dead, and all she has left are these two, who, while certainly good people at heart, have clearly never had decent examples themselves of how to parent or be parented. She has him too, he supposes. An uncle, of sorts, or perhaps a kindly older cousin, like the ones he’d grown up with in Lettenhove. Not an outsider or a stranger, but not quite a mother or a father either. He can’t replace the parents Destiny decided to gift her —he doesn’t fuck about with Her or Her wishes anymore, gods know he’s learned his lesson on that particular front— but at the very least he can show them how it’s done. Lowering his voice to a stage whisper, the kind Geralt would hear if he wasn’t so occupied with his grunting, he nudges the girl’s shoulder.

“And they call me dramatic.”

She huffs out a giggle, tiny but genuine.

“No, really. I swear on my lute, I punch one alderman, and suddenly I’m making a ‘fuss over nothing,’ and being called ‘bard’ again instead of my name!”

“But aren’t you a bard?”

“Yes, but that isn’t the point. The point is that even with all that power between them, a witcher and an ex-court sorceress, they can’t solve a minor disagreement! Either they skipped their etiquette lessons, or both Kaer Morhen and Aretuza are woefully inadequate educational institutions —I’ll have to teach you myself once we get to the Blue Mountains.”

Remembering his own classes on the subject, Jaskier can’t help but smile when Ciri groans. He’d spent more than his fair share of days hiding from his own private instructor, avoiding all talk of how to run a household, conduct business, and behave himself in public around people of every station. And all that as a two-penny count’s son. A princess, and more than that, the only princess of Cintra, would have had far more to learn, with far stricter teachers than old Garam. Even as young as she is, there’s no possible way she escaped it. Not with a pout like that.

He’ll teach her to hone that too. She already has the face for it, round and cute as a button, but the art of big, sad eyes is one he excels in, and he’d be remiss to not pass on his knowledge. Especially when, more likely than not, she’ll be aiming them at the very same target. Geralt, for all his many foolish pretenses at stoicism and apathy, already melts into a puddle around Ciri and would certainly fetch the moon for her if she asked it of him. Not that she would. She’s too good for that, always calm and placid, so much so that it worries Jaskier more than a little. The dear girl had lost everything in the space of a few weeks and she’d yet to even cry about it. Geralt and Yennefer might appreciate that, but Jaskier knows better. It’s unhealthy. For anyone, really, semi-immortal or not, but for a child without even eight winters to her name… he likes it even less.

“Well then. Tell me, Fiona, which lessons did you enjoy in Cintra?”

Immediately, her eyes lit up, pale eyebrows shooting up her forehead. They’ll have to dye them soon, but not yet. Let the girl get used to her new name, start processing all that has shifted in her life before changing her appearance.

“The sword lessons!! Grandmother and Grampa Eist gave me a big, big sword for my last nameday!! It’s only wood, but it’s tough, and I already learned the first forms.”

“Knowing the Queen and King, I believe it. They were some of the finest warriors alive.”

“Yeah! Grandmother was too busy to teach me herself, but Grampa’s really good too! His sword is really heavy though.”

“Yeah? What other things did they teach you?”

She’s happy to ramble on about it, and Jaskier lets her, interjecting with careful hums and nods and chuckles and questions where appropriate. Talking puts some life in her sallow cheeks, when she goes on about learning to read at Moussack’s knee until she graduated to asking him to pull the heavy tomes down from the palace library for her. He encourages it with appropriate nods and noises, drifting his senses back to the pair behind him. And, oh, what a blessed fucking surprise!

“I can light a simple fucking campfire! Just because you finally decided to take Ciri as your daughter doesn’t mean you have to mother-hen all of us to death, Geralt!”

“I’m not mother-henning, just let me handle it! Why does this even matter to you?”

They’ve graduated from an argument to a unnecessary, vicious row. 

“It doesn’t!”

“Like fuck it doesn’t! One Igni and the problem’s solved, but here you are, dragging it like a corpse!”

“Oh, I’m the one dragging this out? You kicked your feet for so long avoiding your Child Surprise that I’m hardly shocked Destiny killed her whole family —it was the only way to make you take responsibility!”

He focuses back on Ciri, who, thank the gods, is still talking about her life in Cintra. The last thing she needs to hear is her new mother being cruel or that her father hadn’t exactly wanted her in his life, albeit for his own reasons, right and wrong. 

“Sometimes I could sneak out to play in the square, but Ser Danek would always drag me back to the castle before I was done. I miss him.”

“I know, dear heart. But it’s always good to have things you miss. It means you have things to love. What else do you miss?”

“Oh! I miss Grandmother and Grampa. And Moussack and Ser Lazlo and Marina and all the horses! Grampa never let me go see them alone, but they’re so big! And I miss the food…… I don’t like being hungry.”

As if on cue, her stomach rumbles. A sad, tiny little sound, and all Ciri does for it is tucking a skinny arm over her belly, shushing the noise with a finger pressed to her lips. And Jaskier’s heart breaks. Geralt and Yennefer keep screaming in the background of his mind, over petty shit, all while their little girl hasn’t eaten since the gods know when. Immortals. They forget about lowly humans and their needs, always either pushing them past the limit or dropping them like deadweight, but Jaskier won’t let them do either, not with him and not with her. So, he does what he does best. He talks. Asks Ciri more questions, takes over the conversation when their companions get too loud, and keeps her as distracted as he can while he reaches for his own flint and steel. 

Quickly, he arranges the wood and sends Ciri for Geralt’s saddlebags. There won’t be much, mushrooms and dried meat, but he has his spices and there was a patch of wild onion less than a minute’s walk back. Three strikes light the tinder, and by the time Jaskier has a pot perched on top of a makeshift spit, the damned campfire burns as brightly as any other he’s made for himself in Geralt’s absences. Ciri returns, trotting back with a skip in her step, promised pack in hand. He pours in his waterskin, emptying it, and hands Ciri a small scarf.

“Alright, dear. We’ll eat soon, and though I can’t promise it’ll be anywhere near as good as Cintra’s best, I’ve made enough trail stews that you should be able to at least get it down. But I need you to do one last thing for me.”

Ciri nods solemnly.

“Good girl. Just outside this clearing, you see that big tree over there?” He points to the one in question, with the creeping vine crawling over it. “About five trees in that direction, you see some hollow green shoots on the ground. Those are wild onions, and you have to pick them —but don’t eat them. Bring them back so I can look them over.”

“Okay.”

Her eyes slide over to Geralt and Yennefer, still screaming at each other, then back to him. Clever girl. Of course she’d heard them, and figured out what he’s trying to do by sending her away into the woods —another thing to scold the pair for. He nods at her, pressing the scarf further into her little hands.

“Go. There’s nothing in the woods that can harm you, not with those two here, no matter how foolish they’re being now.”

Blessedly, she accepts it, leaving Jaskier to deal with the couple of the hour. Yennefer’s skirt flares out just as her hair does, but it’s less pretty, with a hungry girl in the woods. Geralt’s jaw tightens, and he can’t find the line of it as handsome, not when Ciri just shushed her own rumbling stomach like the noise would get her punished. Stalking across the clearing should alert them, or at least make them stop for long enough to look his way, but instead they escalate in their usual way, stepping closer until the spittle flying from their mouths hits the other’s cheek. He thinks of the mountain. He thinks of the mountain and how they ruined each other so fucking quickly, dissolving their relationship like it meant nothing at all, and throwing the remains at his chest. Two people this fucking old ought to know better. But instead, they just make the same mistakes for longer.

By the sound of it, the water hasn’t boiled yet, but he has. 

This time, when he puts himself in between them, he reaches out only with his hands —already burnt and broken as they are, easy enough to sacrifice— and not his heart. He knows better now. Never again will he stand outside a shattered window and struggle not to weep. He won’t be sent away down a mountain, alone in the cold with every rock digging into his feet through his thin soles along the way. Before either of them can stop him, he puts one arm across Geralt’s chest and a hand at Yennefer’s shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up. Both of you.”

For about a second, it occurs to him that he ought to be more cautious, saying that to a powerful sorceress and a witcher, both of whom have cast him aside before. He tells the thought to fuck off and turns to level a glare at Geralt, who flinches.

“You. All those heightened senses, and yet you can’t figure out that the witch here is trying to heal herself and prove her worth, after, as you put it so delicately, losing her magic. She lives and dies on Chaos. But you don’t even try to understand her pain. And despite how fucking poorly it’s gone for you in the past, in case you don’t remember your idiocy in Rinde, you just keep making decisions for her safety, disregarding her wishes entirely. I don’t care about your intentions, and neither does she.”

Yennefer huffs, turning her face away but not breaking out of his hold. 

“And you. Yes, Geralt has been supremely irresponsible about Ciri. But if that was your issue right now, you would have had the sense to not scream it at him right in front of her. Do you think she needs to hear that? So she can feel unwanted and unloved? But instead of facing the actual issue of your power being gone, you deflect away from your own weakness, treating whoever you hurt in the process as collateral damage for your own pride.”

He steps aside, gesturing towards the fire he’d lit all on his own, no magic or cantrips required. The whole fucking situation is proof that sometimes all you need a simple person and their pracice, tools, and love.

“There’s your fucking fire, so you can stop using it to cover your own asses. Now, your little daughter is hungry, and she’ll be back any minute. Geralt, go find a rabbit to feed her. Yennefer, magic her up a bowl and a spoon if you have the strength.”

Amazingly, then don’t protest. Yennefer scoffs at him and Geralt swears under his breath, but they separate, off to their assigned tasks. Excellent timing, when Ciri comes running back with both little hands full of onions for him to clean so they can make a proper soup out of it all. Yennefer produces three bowls and three spoons, since only Geralt has his own, and though it takes her longer than it should, it lines up well with Geralt’s return, skinning a fat hare as he walks over. Jaskier takes the carcass, butchering and cleaning out the insides as fast as he dares, with his shaking hands. Within the hour, Ciri’s eating like she hasn’t been fed in days, and Jaskier relaxes, looking to the other side of the fire.

The witch and the witcher. What fucking fools, both of them, sat on opposite ends of a log, eating silently. Jaskier watches them again, how they chew their food just a little too long, shrink into themselves in between bites just to puff back up before retreating again. In between them, he can see where their boots still touch. But he’s fine with that. Time and heartache have taught him wisdom, but more importantly, they taught him patience. He waits until Ciri hands him her bowl, asking him to tuck her in, and she sleeps peacefully in his bedroll with his red coat pulled up to her chin, dwarfing her little body. He waits some more, watching the fire dwindle into embers, for Yennefer to speak.

“Jaskier. We’re… we’re sorry.”

“You can apologize to her tomorrow.”

“Not the point, bard,” Geralt says, lip twitching downwards and knee pressing closer to Yennefer’s thigh, “You shouldn’t be the one looking after her.”

“Someone has to.”

It hurts, even though he’s sure Geralt doesn’t even realize what he’s said. But he keeps his eyes on the dying flames, trying not to see Yennefer return the witcher’s touch, shuffling over on the small log. Brown wood, gray ash, yellow fire. All are safer to look at than Yennefer’s black hair next to Geralt’s white, or the way their hands press against each other, warm brown and ghostly pale. Geralt tries again.

“You’re good at it. Better than either of us, with children, and Ciri needs your help.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

He forces enough levity into his voice to make it convincing, trailing it into a yawn. Ciri needs his help. That’s not what Geralt had said, when he’d swept him up and away from the jail cell with his sad yellow eyes and soft voice, but it had always been like him to deny any mention of dependency after the fact, no matter how much proof existed of it. Beside him, the witch nods, and they’re off to their own pushed-together bedrolls, leaving Jaskier to doze with his head pillowed on his pack, letting the embers soothe him to sleep.

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[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

[clarawaking]

My Trans SuperPowers -- #2

A poem, dedicated to the celebration of being trans, and to the education of those who 'don't get it'

(lay this down to a sweet groove...)

* * * * *

I’d like to share a bit with you —  about my transition

To counter the spite for people who are in this position

Transphobes accuse this of being an arbitrary decision 

That we make to ally ourselves with leftist activism…

They have zero respect for the emotional precision

Of discovering your authenticity, and escaping your body-prison,

...

To be a trans person, is to belong to a tribe

Who find themselves always, on the outside

You hear the people joke, mock and deride

But you really fear the violence that follows from the jibes

Can you imagine your life if you always had to hide?

And hate?  Like….hate?  

Why do we get this hate?

Like we’re fucking-perverts-always-looking-for-new-ways-to-masturbate?

...

The anti-trans paranoiacs call us groomers & pedophiles 

But you ever wonder what on earth they’re teaching to their child?

“God is love” they preach, behind judgemental smiles

But He doesn’t make mistakes, the phobes say with confidence

Well then me being trans was EXACTLY God’s intent

My path in this life was to be born a girl

But to be thought of as a boy by the entire world

So my soul’s journey has been to uncover my Real Self

And if my body wasn’t designed to be accurate off the shelf

Then who the hell is anyone to question God’s decision?

To react to His creation with disgust and derision?

“But surgery is butchery!” they vociferate with gumption

But they’ll get eye glasses, or nose jobs, or take Viagara for their dick dysfunction

Anyway, I’ll defer to what Roger Waters said

“As I’ve always said, I prefer your lips red, 

Not what the Good Lord made

But what He intended!”

…

So let me tell you a bit about my own experience

Before you tell me your fear-based doubtful sentiments

Unless you think there’s something wrong with people who are different?

You don’t need to treat me like I’m sick, or weird or strange,

Just because my body’s undergoing a specific change

That hasn’t happened to you (…..yet!!!)

...

And by God don’t tell me therapy’s what I need

When it’s been years of exactly that, that finally helped me see

What I had been repressing for my entire life

What has lurked in my unconscious, & created all that strife, 

From the carved-up scars that were once left by my knife

To no doubt the fact things didn’t work out with people, like my wife

...

You know…just cuz you might not see the meaning in someone’s blahaj shark

Doesn’t make it any less meaningful than some belief in Noah’s ark

And what, should trans people spend their lives hiding in the dark?

Living lives of shame and loneliness and never feel the spark

of being loved for who they are, and opening their heart?

proudly moving in society, contributing their part?

...

And are we really so scary that you need to be protected?

Like if we piss in your washroom, you’re gonna get infected?

Or we’re sneaking a peak at your junk so that we can inspect it?

It’s trans people’s privacy that tends not to be respected….

Which is why we band together, cuz we know we’re not defective.

And we just want to be able to take a  pee….without vigilante bathroom detectives!

…..

In truth, being trans has already cost tons of sacrifice

But I am so goddamn thankful this was MY roll of the dice

Because it has softened me and deepened me in the most delightful ways

And I’ve found acceptance by friends, family, the allies and the gays

I’ve met courageous people whose eyes shine like sun rays

And a feeling of simple joy is what accompanies my days

Cuz being trans is like discovering that you have superpowers

I’m a fucking x-man (pun intended!), and I do not plan to cower

I know that in the future, I ain’t getting many flowers

It’s kinda like playing euchre, never getting any bauers

Future lovers or not I have Clara, and I guess that makes me now hers

And you find you can handle rejection, when your own self-love towers

My emotional struggles, I find Estrogen now cures

And my eyes, hot damn!!!, they have a new allure

And it’s fun to feel confident, but also play demure

...

It’s possible, and it’s fine, if you want to make some changes

Everybody does as their life flows and rearranges

But trans people are discovering just how wide that range is

And the haters & the intolerant are really, the only dangers

...

Heck, I’m learning to biohack this flesh vessel!

Cyproterone & Estradiol are my mortar & my pestle

Crushing masculinity, releasing femininity

If I add progesterone, it’d be the Holy Trinity

And if religion don’t agree with me, I’ve found my own Divinity

With joy, & love, euphoria, there ain’t no way a sin it be

And if I’m destined for damnation? Into infinity??

Then I say bring it, bitch, cuz that’s where all my friends’ll be.  

…

To me, being trans is beautiful, there’s nothing to be mourned

I don’t feel it like a death, I more feel like I’ve been reborn.

And, I cherish it. ❤️

[buddiebeginz]

I’ve put off writing this because I haven't really been able to articulate how I've been feeling in regards to ST as of late but there’s a lot of things that have been bothering me so I’m gonna try. A lot of this is going to be about Eddie and Billy and it’s mostly just me venting so if that’s not something you want to want to read feel free to skip. I just want to preface this with saying I’m not trying to piss anyone off with this post and despite what it might seem like I don’t hate Eddie and I'm not trying to hate on anyone who loves him or who you ship him with. I know I could just keep my thoughts to myself but venting helps and also I figured maybe I’m not the only one who feels like this right now.

So since season 4 aired anywhere there is any mention of the show all I see is some variation of: EDDIE!!!💗💗💗 greatest character ever!!!! Are you even a real ST fan if you don’t love Eddie?!! And while I’m sure that’s been great for everyone who loves him it’s been kind of exhausting for me. Because everytime I see him I’m reminded that Billy is not here and even more than that it’s seeing people love Eddie so instantly and effortlessly. Seeing everyone be so protective of him (lots of people saying if he dies they’ll stop watching) it just makes me feel angry and sad that Billy was never given any kind of chance not by the show, or it’s creators, and definitely not by the ST fandom as a whole.

In all honesty there's things I like about Eddie. A lot of scenes he was in he made me laugh and he’s the type of character I could love so it’s not like I don’t get his popularity. But the fact that the Duffers totally threw Billy away and replaced him with a character that has a lot of similarities and the fact that the ST fandom will laugh and say Billy deserved to die 10 times over because he was bad and Eddie is perfect because he’s good (despite knowing very little about him) just makes it really hard for me deal with Eddie right now especially considering he’s everywhere and Billy isn’t. And like what’s the message I’m supposed to take away from the differences in the way the Duffers and fandom have treated Billy vs Eddie. Your life is only worthy if you’re nice?

I just can’t understand why Billy is treated so differently from the majority of the ST characters. Why is there is so little empathy for him? I’ve seen so many people in the ST fandom defend other characters. In the past people have defended Steve, Jonathan, Kali, Hopper, Tommy, etc. More recently people have been defending El hitting Angela with the skate. Millie even talked in a video about that scene where she said that because of what El’s been through she doesn’t know any better. Where you’d expect “the normal regular person” to know better but El doesn’t.

I’ve also seen people showing compassion for Henry Creel. A piece of art I saw recently compared El and him and was basically saying they were the same. In general 001 has become pretty popular I’ve seen a lot of people making art of him and using his image as icons etc.

Then you had the Duffers in this video defending Jason and saying that if Chrissy wouldn’t have died he wouldn’t have been a bully.

It even seems like the show is trying to rebrand Brenner making it seem like he cared about the kids, showing him and El having these heart to heart talks, and that Papa/Daughter scene. I’ve even seen people on social media saying that Brenner and El’s relationship is more like Mathew and Millie’s now.

My point is that people will take the time to humanize and try to understand most of the other characters so why is that never an option for Billy? What is it about Billy that makes him so hated from so many in the ST fandom to the point of people still happy that he died. To people angry they even showed Max grieving for him. I just don’t get it.

Going back to Eddie though. A lot of people have started to ship him with Steve and while like I said I’m not judging who people ship (a lot of my ships have been unpopular so hating on who people ship isn’t my thing) it’s just frustrating and disheartening to watch how fandom is reacting to this pairing mainly when compared to Harringrove. Seeing all the art, and gifs, and even whole blogs dedicated to them when Harringrove and our fandom has been so hated by the main ST fandom is hard to watch.

I know some people who are Harringrove shippers are shipping S/E but a lot of other ST fans are shipping them too including people who have harassed us for shipping Harringrove. It also feels like some of them are using S/E as a way to further hate on Billy and Harringrove. Seeing this ship welcomed into fandom and become popular is just frustrating because it should have been the same way for us too. Like no one has to like any of the same ships but I’ve been harassed and blocked by many blogs just for liking Billy or shipping Harringrove and I’m sure S/E shippers won’t deal with the same kind of harassment (nor would I want them to).

I just wish I could understand why it’s okay for people to see potential between Steve and Eddie when these are two characters who don’t really know each other, don’t even go to school together, and we don’t know much about Eddie at all but why it’s not okay for me to believe that Billy could have grown and become a better person and have any kind of relationship with Steve. Why relating to Billy and shipping him with Steve somehow makes me such a horrible person and so hated by the main ST fandom that many of them put stuff in their bios that say Harringrove shippers or Billy apologists don’t interact.

I know some people will see this post and think I’m just being bitter or jealous towards Eddie or S/E as a ship and you know maybe I am bitter and jealous that Eddie has been in the show for a handful of episodes and he’s already become as popular and beloved as Steve. Maybe I’m bitter that it feels like Billy is being forgotten about in lot of ways. Maybe I’m bitter and jealous that it’s become welcomed in all corners of ST fandom to ship Steve and Eddie but is still this huge taboo to ship Steve and Billy.

I’m definitely still bitter that no one tried to save Billy not even once in season 3. I’m bitter that the Duffers named an entire episode after Billy only to bring his image back as some kind of Vecna mirage to be cruel to Max. I’m bitter that we’re seeing how Eddie has been integrated into the party and knows all about the Upside Down and no one told Billy a damn thing when he was being literally tortured by the Mind Flayer. I’m bitter that we got to see scenes like a friendship forming between Chrissy and Eddie and Eddie being happy when Billy wasn’t allowed to have any of that. The Duffers made the choice to have a character (a teenager mind you) who was abused, abandoned, tortured, and had no support system and then just threw him away like garbage. So yeah I’m bitter about that.

Like I keep saying I don’t hate Eddie if Billy didn’t exist I’m sure I’d feel differently about Eddie but the way Billy was just killed off like his life meant nothing and the way fandom has responded so drastically different to Eddie and Billy makes it hard for me to deal with Eddie right now. Billy is one of my favorite characters ever and more than that I relate a lot to him. I just wanted to see him get a chance to be happy and know someone cared about him. And even if Billy wasn’t going to come back the utter hatred a significant portion of the ST fandom still has for him feels really personal to me. Like I know realistically it has nothing to do with me but since I relate a lot to him seeing so many people talk about how his abuse doesn’t matter, talk about how he deserved to die, and talk about how much better a character than Billy Eddie is it just hurts.

I’m sure in time I’ll post Eddie stuff on my blog because in reality my issues aren’t with Eddie as a character they’re with other things related to him. For now it’s just hard to see him and hard to see all the love he’s getting and all the hate people are still spewing at Billy. I know this post was rambly and I can’t tell you what the big point of it all was I just really needed to talk about how I’ve been feeling seeing this explosion of Eddie love everywhere. If you took the time to read all of this thanks.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Faes & Fairies Masterlist

A Human Heart (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Phil's mother has always said that there are creatures in the forest and Phil has always thought they were just stories. Then one day he runs into the forest looking for somewhere to hide and meets Dan, a man with antlers and the ability to talk to trees. Phil's world opens up but there are dangers in the forest that he can't even begin to imagine.

A shadow named daniel (ao3) - kitkattaylor

Summary: something magical

beat my heart just like a drum (ao3) - deathlytireddan

Summary: (Phil’s delicate fairy wings are smooth and glossy, fragile and easily broken, and made for flitting between trees, not the proper flying Dan can do. It’s a sore spot between them. Dan can leave whenever he likes and Phil can’t follow.)

do you believe in magic? (ao3) - darkesthorizon

Summary: Dan discovers a meadow of flowers where fairies made of flowers can grant you one wish. But there's a catch: your wish has to be pure. What does that even mean?

Fairymate. (ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: So, the thing is, Phil’s life? Yeah, it had never been normal.

I Just Want To Fly (ao3) - SonjaBlayde

Summary: All Phil wanted to do was to be able to fly.

Into the Woods (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenBoudicatheGreat)

Summary: Dan had never meant anything to anybody his whole life, and he was actually pretty okay with that. He had two stable jobs (one which he hated, but it’s whatever), a little old lady that believed in every superstition ever, a friend who listened to him complain, and a dog that followed him home every day and ate his leftovers. However, a week after his twenty fifth birthday, when he’s cornered by something most definitely not of this world he learns that he may be a little more important than he thought. Also that his dog is actually a man with wings. That was a shock.

Louisette, or How Danaerie Got His Wings (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: This is the story of a beautiful, confident fairy lady and her socially awkward, nerdy fairy friend, so just read it and be happy.

Love Like You (ao3) - xoPrincessKayxo

Summary: Fairy!AU- Dan and Phil are happy being the Guardians of the Fairies, making sure each fairy chooses the right path for their child. Until one day, when they make a decision that changes everything

only the sweetest words remain (ao3) - obsessivelymoody

Summary: Dan should have realised he was making a mistake when he deliberately veered off path during his morning jog.

The Last of the Anthousai (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Phil is different from everyone else in his village. For one thing, his mother is dead. For another, she wasn’t human, so neither is he. To learn how to harness the powers he inherited from her, Philip enlists the aid of a Druid living at the edge of a mysterious forest. To make matters more complex, the forest’s waters are drying up and a beautiful flower nymph is telling Philip that he’s some sort of chosen one sent to the forest in order to protect it. How is Phil supposed to handle all of this? And who or what is causing the forest to slowly die?

They'll Tear Us Apart (If You Give Them the Chance) (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Dan was just a fairy in his little village of Vixedeler when a mermaid invades the waters and sends the village into a frenzy. A thousand year old rivalry is resurfaced and Dan is left in the middle of his village while also feeding his new connection with the mermaid, Phil. As tensions rise, and Dan falls deeply for Phil, a Romeo and Juliet love story begins.

voice on the wind (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: A life-changing injury leaves a desperate musician looking for a miracle. He finds it in the company of a Fae muse, but at what cost?

We Can't Magic (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenBoudicatheGreat)

Summary: Choosing to stay in the Fairy World had been easy, but there were some unforeseen difficulties.

[music-n-romantic-dreams]

Truly, I used to be ashamed of my divinity.

I would always down play it but deep down I always felt a disconnect to everything even the gods that people would force upon me.

Everything seems so empty and lackluster to me because I know that life can be grander than all of this.

And if you continue to give into your old beliefs that isn’t getting you anywhere.

You’ll go extinct just like everything else.

Why do you think the same animal species including humans look different in every region?

Because if they don’t adapt then they’ll die and go extinct.

I’m not trying to scare you I’m trying to inspire you.

Please don’t be arrogant enough to believe that humans are exempt from extinction just because they’ve been overlooked for eons.

Bad behavior will always be evaluated eventually because no one deserves to be oppressed.

Btw your Jesus’ soul isn’t on this planet and if that deity does ever decide to show up here they would most likely remove all the evil from your hearts so you can stop making them look bad.

I’m sorry to break it to you but deities aren’t as merciless as you believe and the only reason why old gods were so brutal is because they had to figure out love on their own.

They had no proper guide.

They had to figure out how to lead in a chaotic and selfish world that they inherited.

We have the knowledge to heal all of that now.

And rewrite the fate of this planet.

Truly it’s up to you not me.

I’m going to be fine regardless cus I’m not attached to any of This only my loved ones and they will always be with me cus I actually value them.

I don’t lose things I value unless it no longer wants to be with me.

I forgive every god for leading this world to the way it is and I know that most starseeds feel the same.

I’m grateful for the old deities for trying their best with what little guidance and unconditional love they had.

We just want to be able to live in peace already.

It’s a new millennium let’s relearn everything we know about living.

Because this shit ain’t working and it’s boring me.

Let’s forgive the past already.

Most of us weren’t even alive to even know this shit.

You’re just recycling stale karma for no reason.

If you’re god is truly that great then why is everyone so depressed, unfulfilled and hopeless?

Why is there so much chaos?

Why haven’t Jesus saved this world yet?

Because you must learn the same lesson Jesus failed to understand.

SAVE YOURSELF!

I can criticize Jesus his children has been tormenting me and so many others for a while now.

He’s in my debt for that.

I wouldn’t of been through hell if it wasn’t for his kids messing with the natural order of societies.

I don’t know bout y’all but we hold people accountable over here especially those with power.

Understand my soul is connected to Hellenic deities.

Deities who weren’t afraid to check other gods.

I don’t put myself under anyone.

Free yourself from karma that doesn’t belong to you.

Stop being afraid you’re safe to do so.

There’s new deities being spawned and popping up on this planet constantly.

Let’s give into our future.

I promise you’ll love it.

Understand that we control our destiny and that millions of us are already on the same spiritual level of Jesus but are ashamed to admit it because of the turmoil one might receive from deluded conservative Christians who’s views are redundant to our future.

I know you’re going to hate me trust me I expect it. But understand you can never hate me more than I hate you..

Prove me right that humans are only good for opposing celestial life.

Please do but understand you’ll surely fail.

Because this is destined.

We will protect our peace!

You murdered so many of our celestial family.

I hold no grudges though I just want people to get on board with living already or we’ll fulfill your death wish for you.

If you continue to attack us.

[campbluelake]

lost, found, and lost again || abbie || reaction

[♫♫♫]

As always, she can’t bring herself to turn around and watch the crime happen. This time, though, she doesn’t really need visuals to tell her what’s happening every step of the way, though. There’s dialogue this time around, and every moment of it is heart-wrenching in the way that Kyousuke promises Eri that he’ll take care of things to the final words Max says to Kyousuke before he finally dies. This is being considered a homicide, but is it a crime? No one went out of their way that night to commit a crime, no one intended to do something like this when the night was still young.

And yet, here they were, standing in the amphitheater, being told that this was all Kyousuke’s fault. He stabbed Max, yeah. He was the last one to injure an already-dying man. He struck the killing blow. It was his fault that Max was dead.

But it wasn’t his fault that Max was dying.

Some part of Abigail that she isn’t able to tamper down despises Eri. Despite the fact that she knows Kyousuke wouldn’t want for her to feel any ire towards the other woman, to recognize he chose to do what he did out of love for the other, she’s unable to keep a seed of resentment from blooming in her gut. 

This was her fault. And Abbie, even if she won’t voice it, hopes that someone does. She hopes that someone looks Eri in the eyes and tells her she’s done this.

Survivor’s guilt is a choking thing, something that settles on your shoulders and never stops whispering to you reminders that you’re alive while the unspecified “they” aren’t. Maybe no one needs to tell Eri this at all. Maybe, like Abigail, she’ll look in the mirror every single day for the rest of her empty life and remember that she’s alone because she couldn’t do anything but watch as the person she loves more than anything else on this planet dies.

She blinks slowly and looks away from where her gaze had, at some point, fallen on the other. Now, her eyes turn to Kyousuke--the man sentenced to death and who will soon be dragged to the fire and devoured. There’s no point anymore in asking “why” when it’s been made so obvious. Why? Because he loves Eri. Because he would do whatever it took to protect her.

“...Do you hate me?”

Abbie asks this without any sort of intonation in her voice. It’s bland, lacking the strength to coat it in anything but emptiness. This is a coat, a comfort, she has not worn since July 4th, fifteen years ago. Before she learned to bury it all in syrup and sweetness, it was stale, stagnant water--left in the bottle for so long that it became acrid. She feels that nothingness, and she hugs her stomach, hoping to quench the pains of the growling hunger for companionship. If she squeezes tightly enough, perhaps they’ll stop aching before they start.

“You lie to me, say you’re a bad person, and then, you go and kill someone for a reason I can understand, so I can’t even be mad at you for it. Not really. You say you’re selfish and then go and do something selfless like this. You say it’s ‘cuz of the people you’ve met here that you’re becoming the good person we all see in front of us; are we why you did this? If we’d left you alone, would you have fought harder for your own life?

It’s our faults, then, isn’t it?”

Perhaps without plans of visiting temples during New Years and planting gardens, Kyousuke would have hidden his own involvement more. Perhaps without baking lessons and a night spent drinking Zimas at the first birthday party she’d attended in fifteen years, Kyousuke could have looked them all in the eyes and lied. Perhaps without strongly-regretted movie nights and jokes about getting lost in the mirror maze, they could have been confounded by the actor in front of them.

Perhaps without “big sis Bee”, Kyousuke would be breathing tomorrow.

“...ehe…”

She reaches up underneath her glasses and wipes her eyes, but it doesn’t do anything. She’s well into the point of feeling where “everything” is more like “nothing”, and the tears fall effortlessly and without any shaking of her body, no sucking of breath into her lungs. Instead, a small puff escapes with a hint of laughter.

“Y’know, when you become an orphan, you kinda think you’re done losing your family, y’know? I guess I’m the first person to lose her family twice.”

Her smile is more like a shattered looking glass held together by sap, the tacky, sticky substance muddling the shine of the surface until only a blurred outline is comprehensible.

“I love you. I love you lots.”

A sharp stutter in her breath, and the smile gains a manic desperation.

“Please don’t go.”

Like her family before, though, there is no choice. Fire, as always, burns indiscriminately.

[exalted-dawn-drabbles]

Emotion Prompts

Anger

“How could you do this to me?”

“If you want to leave then leave! Go on, I wont stop you!”

“I wont let you get away with this!”

“Get away from them!”

“I can’t believe you trusted them!”

“Leave before I change my mind!”

“I swear to god if they die I’m going to kill you!”

“They trusted you! I trusted you!”

“You’ve been lying all this time?”

“I don’t ever want to see you again!”

“Don’t touch them.”

“Because I’m still in love with you!”

“Stop! Just... stop.”

“Was anything you said real?!”

“I’m nothing like you!”

“You can’t protect me forever!”

“I’ll never tell you where they are!”

“I will make sure you regret this.”

“They’ll find me and you’d better pray you’re not here when they do!”

“How could you be so reckless?”

“You took everything from me and now it’s my turn to do the same to you.”

Fear

“Are we going to die?”

“If we die just know I love you.”

“I don’t want to go, please don’t make me go.”

“Hey! Can you still hear me?”

“I forgot. How did I forget?”

“Stay very still, okay? They’ll see you if you move.”

“Wake up, please wake up!”

“Where are you?”

“I’m scared.”

“Is this how it ends?”

“Stay awake, okay, we’re going to get out of here. Just stay awake for me.”

“Oh god. I think we’re lost.”

“I want to go home.”

“Where did they go?”

“No! Don’t!”

“You can take me instead, just please don’t hurt them.”

“I know it hurts but you need to just keep your eyes on me and breathe, okay?”

“What do you mean they’re not there, I thought they were with you!?”

“I don’t think I can do this without you.”

Happiness

“I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

“I missed you so much.”

“I have something to tell you. I promise you’ll like it.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I never told you how much that meant to me.”

“You’re back!”

“You brought me food?”

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

“Hey! I may be a dumbass but I’m your dumbass!”

“Run away with me.”

“Thank you for coming with me.”

“Come on! I want to show you something.”

“You didn’t have to do this... but I’m glad you did.”

“Your mouth tastes really bad but I still love you.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Pfft. I can’t believe I love you.”

“I wouldn’t trade waking up next to you every morning for anything.”

“I hope our kid takes after you.”

“Oh... I love it.”

“How am I this lucky?”

“You even look beautiful when you’re about to kick my ass!”

Sadness

"They’re good for me, better than you ever were.”

“Do you miss me like I miss you?”

“I’d give anything to take it all back.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Please, no, please just listen to me!”

“Do you hate me?”

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I feel like I can’t even breathe without you!”

“You can’t take back what you did.”

“You lied to me. I trusted you and you lied to me.”

“Please don’t go.”

“I know I shouldn’t still want you but I do, I want you so bad it hurts.”

“I need you, I can’t do this without you.”

“I always knew you’d break my heart, I just never imagined it’d be this way.”

“I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

“Promise me that if I don’t make it back that you’ll watch out for them.”

“Do me a favor, tell them I love them.”

Surprise

“You scared the hell out of me!”

“You’re what?”

“You got this for me?”

“You’re got what stuck in your WHAT?”

“Oh my god, your bleeding!”

“I know this is a really bad time but if I don’t blurt it out now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell you. I think I’m in love with you!”

“What the fuck is that? No, no, absolutely not, we’re not keeping it. No way, uh uh, not happening.”

“Oh my god is that a dog?! Did you get us a dog???!!”

“I thought you said you were never coming back?”

[sluttywonwoo]

high-rise || k.sy x reader

Summary: (ceo!au… ish) walking around your apartment naked has never been a problem, since you live in a high-rise and no one can see in, at least that’s what you thought…

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut

Word Count: 9.1k

a/n: reworked this piece originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

additional warnings: mutual masturbation, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, spanking, choking, degradation, sir kink if you squint

Your scarf was the first thing to hit the floor, followed shortly by your blazer. You toed off your heels as you simultaneously fumbled with the zipper on the back of your skirt, cursing when the fabric snagged the metal teeth. You were sweating with effort by the time you started rolling off your tights, making the task at hand that much more difficult. You kept your button-down on and kicked the rest of the clothes to the side, making a mental note to add them to the laundry later.

One of the (admittedly many) perks of living in a New York City penthouse was the view. Your apartment was ninety percent windows, which were a bitch to clean, but the sights you were privy to made it all worth it.

Manhattan was beautiful at any time of day, but you especially enjoyed it in the evenings. By the time you got home from work the late afternoon sun had begun to set, and you got to watch the soft pinks and oranges of the sunset fade into dusk. Rainy days and snowy days were up there on the list too. You were so high up that your apartment sometimes found itself submerged in the middle of a cloud. You could watch the rain fall onto the city below, or try to make out the horizon through the fog.

Even though your apartment was practically a glass box, being so high up offered you the luxury of privacy, which was why you usually didn’t bother with clothes. The only reason you were still wearing your shirt now was to shake off the chill from outside, but it would soon join the pile by the door.

You turned on the gas fireplace in the living room before making your way to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of the white wine you had opened earlier that week. It was a gift from a client, and not something you would have picked for yourself, but alcohol was alcohol and you wouldn’t dream of letting it go to waste.

You knew you should probably eat something before diving back into the paperwork you had brought home with you, but you were itching to get to it. You would never admit it, but your relationship with your job wasn’t the healthiest. All of your friends knew you were married to your work. Your colleagues and bosses knew it too. And deep down so did you. Maybe that’s why you hadn’t been on a date in... a while. It’s what you told yourself.

Even as you were perusing the options of takeout containers full of leftovers in your fridge you couldn’t stop thinking about the files waiting for you in your briefcase. You had to go over resumès and applications for an open position in your company to familiarize yourself with the candidates before you interviewed them in-person tomorrow.

Your fridge beeped at you, letting you know its door was still open as if you had walked away and forgotten to close it, unaware that you were still standing right in front of it.

“I know, I know,” you sighed and grabbed the styrofoam box of half-eaten sarme from your favorite Albanian restaurant down the street.

As the food warmed in the microwave, you gave in to the urge and retrieved your briefcase from by the door, discarding your shirt with your other clothes while you were over there.

You were just in your panties now, a thong if you were being specific. As much as you hated wearing them, they were the only underwear that wouldn’t show through your skirts and slacks.

You settled on the floor in front of the coffee table with your glass of wine and folder full of documents. The fire burned steadily as you flipped through them and made notes in the margins. Your cabbage rolls were lukewarm around the edges and cold in the middle, but still good nonetheless and you finished the rest. You had been hungrier than you thought.

“Mark Wescott... graduated from Georgetown University in 2013, nice! With a degree in... business admin... real fucking original,” you muttered to yourself, “but he’s got good references and decent experience... so... maybe?”

You uncapped the yellow highlighter in your hand with your teeth and ran it over his name and info at the top. You had a color-coded system for applicants. Pink for top priority, yellow for mid, and orange for low.

“None of these are impressive,” you decided after combing through all of the applications. You shook your head at the stack of papers and pushed them to the side. “Maybe they’ll be better in-person.”

You knew that wasn’t true, but it was getting late and you knew you should get at least a little bit of sleep before tomorrow. You had a lot riding on this hire, so you knew you needed to be coherent enough to sit through eight hours of interviews.

You brought your glass of wine to your lips and downed the last of it. “Here’s to hoping we’ll find the one.”

-

Soonyoung ran a hand through his hair and blew out a sigh. He was already overwhelmed just looking at the stacks of cardboard boxes in front of him, he couldn’t even think about unpacking them yet.

He needed to find the box with all of his suits, at the very least. He couldn’t roll up to his interview tomorrow in the gray sweats and t-shirt he was wearing now, not if he actually wanted the job.

Moving into his new place the day before an interview had been a good idea in theory. But as he grabbed the box cutter from the counter and started slicing open random boxes with no sense of direction Soonyoung was beginning to rethink his decision.

“Why didn’t I label any of these?” he muttered to himself, cursing at yet another box full of DVDs.

It didn’t help that everything was wrapped in newspaper and impossible to identify at first glance. He knew it helped protect things from breaking and shifting around during travel, but it was already making the task at hand twice as long. He had planned to route the walk from the subway station to the office that evening. He wanted to practice the commute and time it so that he wouldn’t be late in the morning, but as the sunlight began to dwindle from the room he knew he wouldn’t have time. He would just have to get up extra early tomorrow.

At least the new apartment was nice. His last job back in Seoul had set him up nicely to be able to afford a place in the heart of Manhattan. It was on the small side compared to what he was used to, but he didn’t need much space since it was just him living there.

Everything was up to date and all of the appliances were brand new. There was an in-unit washer and dryer tucked away in one of the closets, and the dining area had real exposed brick walls. Soonyoung didn’t know what those things meant, but his realtor had told him they were good.

The sun had set completely by the time Soonyoung finally found his suits. He’d had to plug in one of his table lamps and set it on the floor in the middle of searching just to be able to see what he was looking at.

He hung a few options up in his new closet, hoping some of the wrinkles would ease from the fabric overnight.

With that done, Soonyoung figured he might as well unpack some of the boxes he’d already opened. It wasn’t efficient work, seeing as he had neglected to label anything, but Soonyoung managed to put away some dishes, shoes, and miscellaneous sheets and towels before he finally checked the clock again and realized how late it was.

Most of the windows in the surrounding buildings had already gone dark for the night, except for those of the apartment directly across from his. It was in the only other high-rise that was as tall as his, making the illuminated unit at the top stick out even more.

It was then that Soonyoung realized he could see directly into the apartment. He smiled to himself, taking comfort in the fact that he wasn’t alone in being up at such a late hour. He wondered who his night-owl of a neighbor might be. His question was answered moments later when a shadow of movement caught his attention.

A woman who looked to be about his age emerged from a hallway carrying a stack of papers. He couldn’t make out the details of her face from where he was, but as she stepped into the light he could tell that she was naked.

Soonyoung immediately averted his gaze, snapping his head in the opposite direction so fast that he heard his neck crack. He gave it a second or two before looking back, assuming she was gone annnd nope. He squeezed his eyes shut a second time and turned his entire body away from the window. Now she was just... sitting in her living room? Completely naked? He wasn’t one to judge, but the knowledge alone was enough to make being a gentleman harder... amongst other things.

“Focus,” he told himself, resisting the urge to glance at the window. “Don’t be a creep.”

He attempted to resume his unpacking, only to find himself distracted every few minutes, sneaking glances at the window unconsciously. Every time he caught himself looking he was doused in a fresh wave of guilt. He knew it was wrong, but for whatever reason he couldn’t stop himself. The irony of being a peeping tom was not lost on him.

Soonyoung watched as the girl in the window stood from her spot on the floor and stretched, watched as her muscles tensed and relaxed when she raised her arms above her head. A mix of shame and arousal burned in his stomach as his eyes traced the outline of her curves.

All of the sudden it occurred to him that she could also probably see into his apartment. If she were to look over right now she’d see him standing like an idiot in the window practically gawking at her from fifty feet away. He panicked and lunged to turn off the lamp that was still sitting on the floor so that the whole room went dark.

That night as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep, Soonyoung thought about the stranger across the way. He wondered if there was a reason for her state of undress. If she had been waiting for someone, or if that someone had just left. Was that why she was up as late as he was? At least she was getting some. He wished he could say the same for himself.

“This is starting to get sad,” he mumbled and buried his face in his hands. ‘Starting to’ was being generous and he knew it.

He wished the morning would come, wished he was on his way to his job interview already, but every time he checked the time only a few minutes had gone by. He knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep anyway, at least if it was morning he’d be able to do something productive and get his mind off the girl in the window.

Soonyoung rolled over away from his bedroom window and pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders. He could hear ambulance sirens and car horns from the street down below, the ambience of the traffic lulling the city to sleep.

-

Your morning started like any other. Your alarm went off at six-thirty and you snoozed it until seven, groaning when you finally dragged yourself out of bed. You turned on the shower and brewed a pot of coffee while you waited for the water to heat up.

You had been trying to get into tea recently, slowly working on cutting coffee out of your life completely and making the switch to the much healthier alternative. Tea had less caffeine and offered a whole range of health benefits that coffee didn’t. You’d read endless articles about how much better it was for you, but it wasn’t as coffee

The switch would be going a lot better if you didn’t let yourself make excuses to keep drinking coffee every morning. It would probably also be going a lot better if you weren’t guilt-chugging that cup (or two) of coffee before leaving your apartment six minutes earlier than usual to catch the 8:00 train instead of the 8:10 train just so you could grab a to-go cup of earl gray from the tea shop down the street from your office and drink that as you walked into work so that you could continue to keep up the charade that your tea-drinking endeavors were going well in front of your coworkers.

The glass was already foggy when you returned to take your shower. You wanted to be at the office early today to set up for the interviews so you tied up your hair and quickly rinsed off. The soapy water hadn’t even finished draining from the tile floor before you were out and wrapping yourself up in a towel.

You dried yourself off and dropped the towel in your hamper, not bothering with clothes yet. You walked back into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee.

You sipped it as you turned on the stove and cracked an egg into a pan. You usually liked to have a bagel or a quick granola bar before work, but when you were feeling fancy you liked to make yourself a couple slices of avocado toast for breakfast. You had decided that today was a fancy day.

You popped the bread in the toaster as the eggs fried and sliced a ripe avocado in the meantime. As soon as you were done with that, it was time to flip the eggs and put the toast on a plate.

You finished your first cup of coffee and went to pour yourself a second, but thought better of it. You’d be sitting in one place for a majority of the day and too much caffeine would make you fidgety and anxious if you didn’t have a way to diffuse the energy.

You ate your breakfast at the bar in your kitchen, looking over the stack of resumes one last time as you did.

“Are you ready for today?” one of your supervisors, Carolina, asked as soon as she saw you walk in the door.

You took a sip of tea from the paper cup in your hand and grimaced. “I’ve been dreading it all week.”

“At least it’ll be over by tonight.”

“Sure, this round will be over, but then there’s still follow-up interviews and training and-”

“Whoa, whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is the worst part, and we’ve just got to take it one thing at a time.”

You sighed. “You’re right, sorry.”

Carolina smiled and nodded her head in the direction of the hall. “Conference Room B is all set up for you when you’re ready. Page me to let me know when I can send the candidates in.”

“Got it, thanks.”

You set yourself up with your laptop and paperwork at one end of the table, and left the seat across from you open for the interviewee.

The morning dragged by at an agonizingly slow pace. Each potential hire seemed determined to bore you to death with their graduate school anecdotes and corporate buzzwords. They were all the same. Too stiff, too self-absorbed, too-

“Y/n, we’ve got your next one ready for you.”

You cleared your throat before pressing the speak button on the intercom, having been lost in thought when Carolina’s voice began echoing throughout the room.

“Sounds good, you can send them over to me.”

You sat up a little straighter in your chair and brushed yourself off. You’d been interviewing for a couple hours straight already, but you still wanted to look fresh-faced for everyone who came in. You were representing the company, after all, and interviews were just as much about trying to impress the candidates as it was about them trying to impress you.

You reached for your cup of tea before remembering it had probably long since gone cold and grimaced, perking up when you heard the familiar squeak of the door.

The young man offered you his hand before settling in the chair opposite yours with a polite smile.

“Mr.... Kwon,” you said, reading his name off of his resume in front of you. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he agreed. “And you can call me Soonyoung.”

You quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. Straight past his last name and right to Soonyoung, interesting you mused to yourself as you scanned his profile again.

“Nice to meet you, Soonyoung. I’m y/n y/l/n. I’m a Senior Associate here and I’m just going to ask you a few questions about yourself, your work, typical interview stuff. Does that sound okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You paused and pretended to organize the papers in front of you while you discreetly gave him a once-over, making mental notes to yourself. He wore a Rolex on his left wrist. That told you that his last job had paid well enough to be able to afford one- either that or his parents came from money. You had a lot of trust-fund kids wasting your time today, you hoped he wasn’t another. Your office already reeked of nepotism and you just wanted this new hire to be on your side of things.

He was rather handsome too. Smartly dressed, sharp jawline, hair that was just barely tamed by gel, warm brown eyes that crinkled up in the corners when he smiled- you had to remind yourself not to stare.

“Alright, Soonyoung, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?” The question always tasted bitter when you asked it and it was hard not to cringe. It was the most basic question in the book, but it was a good way to get to know what kind of an employee someone was.

“Uh, well, I just moved here from Seoul. I got in yesterday afternoon and still have loads to unpack, but I’m hoping to adjust quick. I was an Executive Consultant for five years at my last firm, and had just been promoted to Executive Manager last spring.” He paused to think. “What else... I really love to golf on my days off, and if I’m not golfing I’m usually at home watching movies.”

“A lot of our clients like to golf,” you commented off-handedly. “Are you any good?”

Soonyoung shrugged, smiling humbly. “I’m decent. I haven’t had the chance to play for real in a while.”

“Why’s that?” you were aware you were moving away from interview territory, but you told yourself it was relevant enough to pursue.

“Most of my recent games were taking clients out to golf at my old firm. I had to play like shit on purpose so they’d win and we’d close a deal.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe they were just better than you?” you asked.

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes the tiniest bit, but kept a polite smile on his face. “Trust me, I had to try very hard to lose.”

“So you had a pretty successful closing rate?”

“About twenty-six percent.”

You tried to hide your surprise, nodding as if that was a completely normal closing rate for your company.

“May I ask why you moved?” you continued.

“I’ve lived in Seoul my entire life. I wanted a change of scenery, I suppose.”

“Moving across the globe without the security of a job? That seems like quite a big risk.”

He gave another shrug. “What’s life without a few risks?”

You nodded, writing what he’d said down on the yellow notepad in front of you. Soonyoung shifted in his seat, subtly craning his neck to see across the table at what you were jotting down.

“Moving on,” you said and flipped the notebook over abruptly. The slap of the movement startled Soonyoung momentarily and he only let the deer-in-the-headlights look cross his features for a second before recomposing himself. “Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?”

“I’m a switch,” he answered easily, eyes only widening in realization once the sentence left his mouth. “I mean, I can switch. I was in a management position at my last job, but I still had plenty of superiors to answer to. I started at an entry level in that company and worked my way up, so I have experience with both.”

“And do you have any qualms with being a subordinate to a woman? I ask because if you’re offered the position I would be your boss.”

Soonyoung shook his head in response, giving a small, almost imperceptible smirk. “Like I said.”

The rest of the interview passed by smoothly, and you didn’t realize how much time had passed until you glanced up at the clock above the door. You straightened the stack of papers in front of you to indicate that you were wrapping things up and stood from your chair to shake Soonyoung’s hand again.

“To be completely candid, Mr. Kwon- Soonyoung, you are overqualified for this position. However, our company offers plenty of mobility and your starting salary would be almost equal to your previous one. If you’re interested, I’d like to set up a follow-up interview with you tomorrow.”

Soonyoung smiled, and there went the crinkles of his eyes again, softening the sharpness of his features and making him look a couple years younger. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.”

“Great. On your way out you can schedule a time to meet with Carolina.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” he assured you. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow?” you hoped the question didn’t sound too hopeful.

“See you tomorrow.”

You went home feeling a thousand times better than you had that morning. The rest of the interviews had been a blur, and you couldn’t stop thinking about Soonyoung. He surpassed all of the other candidates in almost every aspect, and it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes.

You knew your attraction to him was a problem. You couldn’t hire someone just because you thought they were hot. It was insanely biased, and extremely inappropriate, yet you couldn’t shake the thought of him from your mind. You would be crossing every line in the existence of lines by sleeping with him- that was, if he even felt the same way about you. It would be an unethical use of power, and totally unprofessional so you resolved not to even think about him in that way. Because there was no way around it. He was the best candidate for the job and a perfect addition to your team. You couldn’t not hire him.

The route home usually took about half an hour, but you walked at a faster pace this time because you were supposed to have dinner with a colleague at your apartment and you needed time to cook so there’d be food on the table when he got there.

You made it home in half the time, and kicked off your shoes by the door like you usually did, but kept your work clothes on.

To say you were unprepared for this dinner was an understatement. You barely had anything in your pantry and your cooking skills were subpar at best. Add the time crunch into the equation and it was a recipe for disaster. You could only throw a pot of water on the stove and crack open a jar of marinara sauce and hope for the best.

-

Soonyoung tried not to smile too wide as he walked out of the interview. He needed to remind himself that the job wasn’t his yet. He still had another interview to get through. Still, he figured a follow-up to be somewhat of a success and a good enough reason to treat himself to pizza.

By the time he made it back to his apartment it was almost dark out. His interview had been in the morning, but after walking two miles to get to the pizzeria he’d found on Yelp, getting on the wrong train twice and missing his stop, it was well into the afternoon. He was glad he’d ordered a whole pizza so he could have the leftovers for dinner, and wouldn’t have to venture out into the city again.

The cardboard boxes sprawled across his living room floor were an unwelcome sight, taunting him with their unlabeled contents, but he tried not to think about it. He deserved at least an hour of rest before he started unpacking again.

He pushed one of the heavier ones into the center of the room to use as a table and set the pizza box on top of it. After changing back into a t-shirt and sweats he settled on the floor with a grunt, twisting the cap off a bottle of beer with the hem of his shirt. He took a sip and let the bubbles soothe his throat.

He stared off out the window, attention snapping to the apartment across from his. Soonyoung realized he hadn’t thought about the girl in the window all day, and silently patted himself on the back for it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to live with, and he wouldn’t have to spiral into a pattern of self-loathing every time he found himself looking. As long as he kept himself in check.

He let himself look for a little longer, promising himself that he would look away if he saw anything he wasn’t supposed to. The lights were on, like they had been last night, but he didn’t see the woman. He scanned the array of windows until he saw her sitting at the kitchen table. She wasn’t alone tonight. There was another person at the table with her, a man.

Soonyoung bit his lip and tried to ignore the way his heart sank. He didn’t even know this person, didn’t even know what her face looked like and here he was getting jealous of another person he didn’t know.

He tore his gaze away from the window and stared down at the floor.

“Stupid,” he muttered to himself and took another bite of his pizza even though he had lost his appetite.

People had crushes on strangers all the time. His would fade and soon he wouldn’t even be thinking of whoever it was in that apartment across the way. And if things went well with tomorrow’s interview, he had you. He hadn’t expected to be interviewed by someone his age, let alone someone as pretty as you. It had caught him off guard in the best way possible, and he found himself hanging onto every word you said.

But he wouldn’t be able to act on his feelings with you either, because if he was hired you would be his boss. And it would be completely inappropriate to harbor feelings like that for a colleague. He’d only lived here for a day. He would meet someone eventually. He just needed to give it time.

-

Joshua Hong wasn’t in town for long. He never was. You wondered why he bothered flying all the way to New York for a few conferences when he could just join them online, but he insisted that having face-to-face interactions were important for interpersonal connections and relationship building and so on.

Secretly, you believed the real reason to be that he missed you and your colleagues on the east coast and used business as an excuse to see you. He had lived in New York for a few years before moving to the LA division of your company. The shift in the dynamic of your team had taken a toll, and it took you months to forgive him for leaving. The first few times he came back to visit were nearly impossible to endure. Everyone was happy to see him, but you. You faked a smile and played along, but your relationship had never fully recovered.

Maybe it was because you’d always had a little crush on him, or because no one was there to take his place, leaving your team dividing his workload amongst yourselves with no additional compensation. The position you were currently hiring for actually used to be Joshua’s. It had taken nine months to convince the CEO to finally fill it, and he only agreed after one of your coworkers threatened to sue over breach of contract.

Even though you were certain that you and Joshua would never be as close as you had once been again, he still had you wrapped around his finger in some ways because you could never say no to him. When he’d asked to have dinner with you under the guise of work, you’d agreed on instinct, not considering how tired you would be or how strenuous it would be to see him again.

“This is really good,” Joshua complimented, twirling spaghetti around on his fork.

“You’re just saying that,” you countered and rolled your eyes as you sipped your wine.

“I’m not!”

“Please, I know LA has ruined you and turned you into a food snob. I watch your Instagram stories.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t love a good classic.”

“You and I both know this marinara is from a jar.”

He chuckled. “So? That doesn’t change the fact that it’s good.”

“Whatever.”

Joshua gave you an amused smile from across the table and placed his fork back down on his plate. “So I hear they’re finally replacing me?”

You nodded. “They are. ‘They’ being me.”

“Really?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “Anyone promising?”

“There’s this guy, Soonyoung, who might fit.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s Korean, actually just moved here. He’s pretty charismatic too, but not in a sleazy salesman way. Kind of like you.”

“Is he better than me?” Joshua pressed, leaning forward with his elbows on the table.

“You know there’s no way to tell that yet,” you chided. “But he shows promise.”

“Let me see his profile.”

You shook your head. “Sorry, but you don’t have the clearance to see it.”

Joshua’s eyes widened like he couldn’t believe you were saying no to him, probably because he rarely heard it from you. “What, do we work in a government agency all of the sudden?”

“I have a lot riding on this hire, Joshua. I can’t let anything screw it up.” He seemed to surrender at that, nodding in understanding. “Did you ask me to dinner just to grill me about the new guy?”

“No! I wanted to see you,” he paused, “and make sure that you wouldn’t forget about me when I was replaced.”

You sighed, giving him a tired, perhaps wistful look. “Trust me, I couldn’t forget you if I tried.”

Joshua left around eleven, after several glasses of wine and helping you with the dishes. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. But you needed to move on, in more ways than one.

You stripped as soon as you locked the door behind him and threw your work clothes into the laundry basket.

You were a little tipsy from the wine, but you still had work to do before you could go to sleep. There was paperwork to finalize, and you still had to draft a rejection email for all of the candidates who weren’t moving on in the interviewing process.

You grabbed your briefcase and returned to the kitchen table, rolling your neck as you realized you had another long night ahead of you.

-

Soonyoung wasn’t aware that he was staring until the man stood from his seat and took the dishes from the table to the sink. The sudden motion pulled him back to reality and reminded him that he was sitting alone in the dark once again. He cursed under his breath and chugged the rest of his beer.

His pizza had gone cold in the time he’d spent trying to determine the relationship between the man and the woman in the apartment across from his. He couldn’t tell what they were, and not being able to read their facial expressions made it even harder.

He watched as they washed dishes shoulder to shoulder, telling himself that it was no different from people watching, which was untrue since the people in question weren’t in public, but he ignored the guilt twisting in his stomach and continued to watch. At least no one was naked this time.

The woman’s shoulders moved up and down in laughter, suggesting the man had said something funny. But then she was walking him to the door and letting him out, and that was it. Show was over.

So they weren’t together. At least, not yet. Soonyoung hated himself for the conclusion he’d just drawn, and he hated himself even more for feeling relieved.

Soonyoung leaned back to reach the lamp that was still on the floor and flicked it on so that he could see. He shoved the leftover pizza into the back of his fridge and returned to the living room to try and get a little more unpacking done.

He started with one of the boxes he’d opened the day before when he had been in search of his suits, and began sorting through its contents. He allowed himself another glance at the window to check if the man had returned, only to see the woman completely naked. Again.

“Jesus fucking christ,” he groaned and forcefully turned his eyes to the floor. He needed to buy some curtains as soon as possible because there was no way he would be able to be a respectful neighbor otherwise.

He blinked the image of her silhouette from his mind, trying not to dwell on the thought of her sitting at her kitchen table with nothing between her thighs and the chair.

He couldn’t focus. Every time he tried to get back to the task at hand his thoughts went to her. It was getting pathetic.

One more look. One more and then never again.

It seemed like a simple enough resolution and he promised God he would go to confession at the end of the week- even though it had been years since he’d been to mass.

He gave in to his curiosity and gave the window one final, longing glance. The woman was still at the table, concentrating on something in front of her. But something else caught Soonyoung’s attention this time. It was a snakeskin briefcase that sat on the table next to her. He had only noticed it because of the gold details on the bag that reflected the light, just like the one you-

A thousand different emotions flooded Soonyoung’s senses as the realization set in. It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head. There was no way-

It had to be a coincidence. Had to be. Two people could have the same briefcase... and the same body... and the same hair. As he thought back to his interview earlier that day he saw more and more similarities between you and the girl in the window.

He definitely needed to go to confession now. Not only had he been staring in the window of some naked woman, the woman might just be his future boss.

He felt sick, and despite it all he felt the familiar burn of arousal flicker to life in his stomach. There was no way he’d be getting any sleep tonight.

-

Soonyoung seemed different. Yesterday he had been confident, charming, and on top of every question you threw at him. Today, he seemed nervous. He was fidgety and distracted. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with you. He kept his gaze trained on your briefcase instead, refusing to take his eyes off of it.

You had been so sure that he was the one, but now you were thinking you might have to start from scratch.

“Soonyoung, are you okay?” you asked, your frustration turning into concern when he failed to answer your question for the third time. “Do you need me to repeat the question again?”

He looked up at you finally, eyes wide and cheeks pink. “Sorry,” he apologized.

“It’s okay.”

“No, I- I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I- fuck,” he paused to take a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know how to put this, but I think... we’re neighbors.”

“Oh, you live in my building?”

You didn’t see a problem with that. You weren’t sure why it was something he would be tearing himself up over either.

“No, I don’t.”

“So... then how would we be neighbors?”

He averted his gaze again and swallowed harshly. “I live in the high-rise across from yours.”

You raised your eyebrows in question, feeling your pulse jump in warning. Your fingers inched toward the phone, ready to call security at a moment’s notice.

“And fuck, I really wanted this job, but um, I only know that because my apartment is literally right across from yours. And you have a lot of windows... that I can see into.”

You let his words sink in, hand retreating from the phone. “Oh my god.”

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to look or anything, I promise. Your windows are just so big. I didn’t even want to come in today because I felt so bad about it, but I figured you should know that it was possible to see into your apartment. Like other people might also be able to see you too. I just came to tell you that because I don’t think I’d be able to live my life just knowing that information and not telling you.” Soonyoung stopped talking finally, giving you an opportunity to respond. The tips of his ears were red with embarrassment and he looked like he wanted to jump out the window.

You were covering your mouth with shock by now, absolutely mortified. “I am so sorry,” you yelped. “I had no idea, oh my god. I hope you don’t feel... violated or anything.”

“Oh, not at all,” he assured you. “I felt the opposite, actually- I mean, I hope you don’t feel violated.” He stood from his chair before you could say anything else. “Anyway, thank you for your time.”

-

Soonyoung kicked himself the whole way to the subway station. That job had been the best opportunity he had at breaking into the industry here in New York and he’d fucked it. He could’ve kept his big mouth shut and pretended like everything was normal- but just the thought of that made bile rise in the back of his throat.

No, he was glad he had been honest. It just sucked that he’d lost such a good position, and ruined whatever nonexistent chance he had with you.

When he got home he threw all of his energy into unpacking. He was determined to make a real dent in the pile of boxes this time, and then maybe afterward fill out some job applications.

His apartment was actually starting to look livable by the time he took a break to eat leftover pizza for dinner. He’d unwrapped the plastic covering and bubble wrap from his couch so that he actually had a place to sit now, and he’d found a standing lamp to replace the table lamp sitting on the floor.

He was about to move on to a box full of clothes when he risked taking a look over at your apartment. To his surprise, you were standing in your living room, wearing nothing but a bra and panties. He furrowed his eyes in confusion, wondering why you were still choosing to walk around your apartment undressed with the knowledge that he could see you. But before he could look away his phone started buzzing in his pocket. It was an unsaved number, but he suddenly had the feeling he knew who it was.

“Hello?”

“Soonyoung?”

He recognized the voice immediately, and snapped his attention back over to the windows where he could see you looking back this time, phone pressed to your ear.

“Y/n.” He realized he had never called you by your first name before, and hoped you weren’t offended by it.

“The job’s yours if you want it.”

He blinked, staring right at you. “What?”

“The position. It’s yours if you want it. You were the best candidate by far and I think you’d make a great addition to the team.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re serious?”

“I am.” He heard you take a breath before continuing. “You have time to think it over, of course. Let me know by the weekend.”

“I don’t need time to think,” he heard himself say.

“No?”

“No. I’ll take it.” “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Soonyoung?” you asked, reaching behind you and unclipping your bra. You caught the fabric and pressed it against your chest so that it wouldn’t slip down.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me if I’m overstepping.”

“You’re not overstepping,” he breathed, hand already traveling down to the waistband of his shorts.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He watched with a slack jaw as you let the bra fall to the floor. You moved to the couch and draped yourself over it, opening your legs to give him a view of your whole body, from your pussy up to your neck. He pulled off his shirt and shimmied out of his shorts quickly so that you were on an even playing field. It was still uneven in his opinion. You were so beautiful, he felt inadequate in comparison. But the moan you let out upon seeing him shirtless boosted his ego the tiniest bit.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” you murmured quietly into the phone.

“I don’t want to stop,” Soonyoung admitted.

“Me either.”

His breath caught in his throat as you pulled your panties down and let them join your bra on the floor. He was too far away to see anything in detail, but he could imagine. You brought a hand down in between your legs, spreading your wetness around with your fingers.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

He was hard. He was so hard that it was starting to hurt, and all he could think about was running his cock through your folds. Being the one to make your back arch off the couch like it was now.

He spat into his palm and began working his hand up and down his cock, sighing in relief.

“You sound so pretty,” you echoed, and Soonyoung straight up whimpered in response. He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “God, I wish I had your fingers instead of mine. They’re so much longer.”

“Guess you’ll just have to imagine them,” Soonyoung said, finding his voice out of nowhere. It was your turn to whimper. “Picture them working you open, stretching you for my cock.”

“Soonyoung?” you asked hoarsely.

“Yeah?”

“Come over.”

“Fuck, right now?”

“Yes right now. I need you,” you whined. “Fiftieth floor, the door code is 0716.”

He heard the phone click as you hung up and that was all it took. He scrambled for his pants and shirt that he’d thrown somewhere in the room, tripping when he tried to jump into both legs of his shorts at the same time. He rushed out into the hallway and pressed the down button on the elevator repeatedly, like it would make it come any faster.

He tried to act like he wasn’t out of breath and held his hands together in front of his crotch in an attempt to hide his erection. The other people on the elevator ignored him, only addressing him to ask which floor he was going to.

Soonyoung swore he’d never run so fast in his entire life. He dodged taxis, bikers, and pedestrians as he crossed the street illegally and made it to the elevator of your building right before the doors shut.

-

You had put on a sheer robe while you waited for Soonyoung, not wanting to open the door completely naked, but you were beginning to have second thoughts. You were officially Soonyoung’s boss now, which meant that having sex with him was at the very top of the list of things you shouldn’t do. It would no doubt be considered a gross misuse of power, and to make matters worse he had literally just been hired. His first experience with you shouldn’t be in bed-

You heard the lock click and turned around to see Soonyoung standing in your doorway. He was breathing hard and practically dripping with sweat. All doubts about crossing the line vanished when you looked into his eyes and saw how dark they were. He hadn’t even said anything, yet you knew how much he wanted you.

Even more evident was the outline of his hard cock straining against the fabric of his sweat shorts. You tried not to stare, but you figured it was only fair, given how he was staring at you.

Soonyoung let the door shut behind him before approaching you. His hands trembled as he brought them up to your shoulders, like he was unsure of where to start. He slipped his thumbs under the hem of your robe finally and you shivered at the contact. You bit your lip and nodded at him to keep going.

He pulled the fabric down off your shoulders and let the robe pool at your feet. You looked down at it and then back up at him expectantly. He took the cue to follow and yanked his shirt off over his head, followed by his shorts so that he was in his underwear.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. His voice sounded an octave lower than it had been over the phone and it made your knees weak.

“Please,” you choked out.

He placed one hand on your cheek and tilted your head to the side, pressing his lips to yours. It was needy and desperate, strung with promises of what was to follow. His peppermint chapstick made your lips tingle and you leaned in, deepening the kiss. His fingers dug into your waist as he took control, slipping his tongue into your mouth. You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

Soonyoung’s hands made their way down to your ass and squeezed, making you yelp in surprise. He chuckled against your mouth and broke away from the kiss.

“Should we move this to my bedroom?” you asked, breathless.

Soonyoung shook his head. “I want to take you here.”

“Where?”

“Here,” he repeated and nodded toward the windows.

“O-okay,” you agreed, a little unsure on the mechanics of how it would work. But Soonyoung seemed confident, beckoning you over with a wave of his hand.

“C’mere,” he said. “I know you said you wanted my fingers, but I’m dying for a taste of you,” he admitted. “Is that okay?”

You nodded desperately as you watched Soonyoung sink to his knees in front of you. He pushed his hair back with his hand and used the other to hike your leg up over his shoulder. You felt his breath on your clit before anything else, felt the way he was hovering inches in front of your cunt like a goddamn tease.

“Soonyoung, please,” you begged.

You jolted when he suddenly buried his face in between your thighs, letting out a strangled moan as his tongue circled your clit. It was all too much and you had to pull on his hair to maintain your balance. Soonyoung didn’t seem to mind too much, in fact it only spurred him on as he moved even further down and began to tongue fuck you.

His nose bumped against your clit as he worked his tongue in and out of you and it was all you could do not to black out from the pleasure. You braced yourself against the window with one hand, trying to hold off the orgasm building in the pit of your stomach.

“Soonyoung, wait,” you cried and tugged him away from your pussy by his hair.

He jutted his lip out in a pout and frowned like he was disappointed he hadn’t gotten to finish you off. His chin was glistening in your arousal and his lips were pink and swollen from sucking on your clit.

“I want you inside of me,” you pleaded. “Please, Soonyoung?”

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rose from his knees, smirking as he took the advantage of height back.

“Of course, angel,” he said, pulling you closer so that he could kiss you again. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue, ignoring the way he laughed at your neediness. “Turn around for me, love,” he instructed as he pushed his boxers down. “Hands on the window.”

You did as you were told and bent over. Soonyoung’s hand made contact with your ass just once, the harsh smack echoing throughout the room. You cried out, body shaking even when he ran a hand over the mark to soothe it.

He took his time lining himself up with you, wanting to tease you as much as possible before he finally gave you what you wanted. You tried pushing yourself back against him, but he was having none of it and put you back in your place every time.

“I didn’t take you for a brat,” he mused.

“I didn’t take you for a tease,” you bit back through gritted teeth.

“Yes you did.”

“Fine, but I didn’t take you for someone who was all talk and no follow-through.”

That seemed to work because Soonyoung pushed himself inside you as soon as the sentence left your mouth. You lurched forward, hands on the window slipping as you cursed him out.

“What were you saying?” he taunted, running a hand down your exposed back.

“N-nothing!”

“That’s what I thought.”

He gave you a few moments to adjust to his size, but you were too impatient to wait and began fucking yourself on his cock, desperate for the release that had built up when he was going down on you. Soonyoung brought his hand down against your ass again and stilled your hips.

“Did I say you could move?” he demanded. “Answer me.”

“No!”

“Then why did you?”

“I’m sorry!” you cried.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Your cock-” you choked out, “felt so good. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, darling. You’re going to be a good girl for me now, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

He seemed satisfied with your answer and thrust into you once, then again, slowly building up to a steady rhythm.

For a moment or two all that could be heard was the slapping of skin and your shaky gasps. Soonyoung’s cock was bigger than you expected, and each time he hit your g-spot you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure.

You weren’t even trying to hold back your moans at this point, too fucked out to care. Soonyoung let a hand wrap around the front of your body and travel up to your throat. He rubbed his thumb along your jaw, pressing it against your lips for you to suck on.

You took it into your mouth eagerly, letting him push it further and further until you were practically gagging on it. When he was satisfied with your work he took his finger out of your mouth and wrapped the same hand around your throat, squeezing lightly.

“Fuck,” you whined.

“Are you close?” Soonyoung asked, likely because he was also teetering on the edge.

“Yes, so close.”

“Do you think you deserve to cum?” he pressed, tightening his grip on your neck. “Think anyone watching you get fucked like a slut against the window deserves to see you cum?”

“No one can see me,” you insisted. “It was only you.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t,” you admitted, feeling like the invisible string inside of you would snap at any second.

“You could have a whole audience and not even know it, y/n. What do you think, should we give them a show?”

All you could do was nod as he continued to pound into you from behind, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Soonyoung, please let me cum I can’t hold it-” you gasped as you tipped over the edge before he could respond, clenching around his cock harder than you knew you were capable of. It felt as if you were falling from the window of your apartment, hurtling toward the ground some fifty stories below.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” Soonyoung muttered, his hips faltering.

“Cum inside me, please cum inside me,” you begged. “I’m on the pill you can cum inside me.”

He came with a groan of your name, pumping his cum further into you with every thrust. “So fucking tight,” he sighed as he continued to lazily rock his hips into yours. “Is your poor cunt so sensitive now?” he asked, voice dripping with fake sympathy.

“Yes,” you answered quietly, feeling tears prick in the corners of your eyes at the overstimulation.

Soonyoung pulled out of you finally, making you whimper at the empty feeling. He chuckled and helped you stand up straight, ready to catch you if your legs gave out.

“That’s what you get for cumming without permission,” he said.

“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled, eyes only half open. “I’m your boss. You should let me cum whenever I want.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Soonyoung assured you.

You watched as he picked up his clothes from around your living room and wondered if you had just ruined everything. Once he was dressed he made his way back over to you and kissed you chastely on the lips. The kiss didn’t help you relax at all. It only confused your feelings for him even more.

“See you monday?” you asked hopefully. If nothing else, you hoped he would still accept the position for the sake of your team, even if things between you were awkward and he never wanted to sleep with you again-

“See you monday,” he repeated in confirmation. “And next round’s at my place.”

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[flower-of-zaun]

POLY SILCO AND SEVIKA FLUFF

Silco x Sevika x gender neutral reader

I see lots of NSFW posts for these. We need some domestic fluff.

Sevika isn’t affectionate, but she loves when you sit on her lap. She loves to pick you up to reach something. You try to hug her tho, she stiffens up. Gives awesome forehead kisses.

Silco is HANDSY. Always touching you, but not in a needy way. He just needs to keep you close. Also hates hugs…but gives the best ones when you need it.

If you smoke, there’s always going to be someone to light your cigarette.

If you don’t smoke, you’re going to die from second hand smoke lol. If you have breathing issues, they’ll refrain from smoking around you.

Silco yells at you? Running straight to Sevika and hiding in her arms. She hates to that you’re upset, but will never side with you. You’re a brat.

Sevika yells at you? You are baby. Showered in love and affection. Will not side with you though, because you’re a brat.

God forbid the both of them are mad at you. Puppy dog eyes will not save you. Sevika needs her space to blow off steam. Silco will talk it out with you, but you’re gonna get a scolding for making Sevika upset.

You are spoiled ROTTEN. Showered in gifts. That’s Silco’s love language, he buys anything your little heart desires. He loves going shopping with you and buying you new clothes. (You’ve had to donate so much because your closet keeps filling up)

Sevika tends to buy you weapons and practical things. Loves seeing you with beautiful daggers. You got a hobby? She finds the what supplies you need and restocks them. Will surprise you with a rare item or book.

She does teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Especially with the daggers. She wants you to be able to handle yourself in dire situations. Wants to teach you how to use a sword next! Really excited about it.

Silco likes to watch you train, but yells at Sevika if he feels she’s being too rough…which is all the time lol. You both yelled at him and continued training…he doesn’t do it as often.

Date nights are a nice. You guys tend to like going to a small noodle shop to have some drinks and talk about the week.

Date nights at home are a BLAST. Lots of take out and having them both in the same room to relax? Rare but amazing. You lay your head on Sevika’s lap and have your legs over Silco’s lap, while watching a film. Always a scary movie.

The 3 of you Sleeping together is rare. You either crawl into Sevika’s bed or Silco’s bed for the night. Sevika likes to sleep alone most of the time, but she has appeared in Silco’s bed with the two of you a few times.

You have caught these two cuddle together, multiple times. They play it off like nothing. You can tell they really care about each other.

You help take care of Sevika’s arm at the end of the day. Making sure it’s running correctly and making sure her Shimmer vials are full. She can watch you tinker for hours.

If Silco is working late, you tend to bring him coffee and spend some time with him before you head to sleep.

He sleeps at his desk a lot. You always cover him up.

You handle his eye injections too. He holds on to you until the pain dies down.

If you have any health issues, the both of them are on you about it. Silco has set you up with his most trusted doctors. Sevika helps you with anything you need, even when you’re being a prideful little shit and wanting to do it yourself.

Take medication? They always remind you to take it. Won’t let you leave the house if you didn’t.

Having a bad day. Sevika will take you to the bar to have a drink. “You can…talk about it if you want.” She will finally give you a hug and let you lean on her while you vent.

Silco will sit you in his lap, letting you ramble for as long as you need.

These bitches LOVE to gossip. The both of them are worse than teenage girls at a sleep over.

They are your best friends.

They are loyal and will defend you till the end.

Will do anything in their power to keep you happy and protect you,