#I have a lot more thoughts about it but I just can’t formulate them

[inanitate]

just finished reading the dungeon meshi manga and

[davinawritings]

A pussy is better than a pillow

Pairing: Male Werewolf X Female Bunny Hybrid

Summary: Bunny Hybrid wakes up hot and decides to go for a walk. She returns home to find her werewolf husband has started his rut and is taking his pleasure in her pillow.

Warnings: Smut, Breeding kink, Knotting, Overstimulation, Precum licking? If you think of more, message me and I will add them.

Word Count: 1800+

Waking up in your husband's arms was one of the best feelings in the world. Or at least it was on most days. Today you wake much earlier than you usually would because of the heat your husband radiates. Being a werewolf, he always runs hot and normally you love it but today it is overpowering and you quickly get out of bed.

You throw on his discarded shirt from last night and make your way out of your cottage for some fresh air. The sun is just starting to show over the trees surrounding your home and the air is still crisp and cool. Deciding to walk amongst the trees you can’t help but smile thinking of how far you and your husband Conall have come.

While inter-species relationships were not unheard of, they weren’t very common. It was even less common for species that were considered predator and prey. As soon as you caught Connal's eye at a bar your friends warned you that a werewolf was not a smart match for a bunny hybrid like you. They said it was dangerous and would never work but you couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.

He towered over you at seven and a half feet tall. He had broad shoulders and large hands. He was covered in muscles. His face was all sharp angles and his eyes practically glowed gold. Just his looks alone had you getting wet but when he finally saw you alone and spoke to you for the first time, you thought your pussy might actually make a puddle on the floor. His voice was deep and rough, caressing your long ears in a way that almost made you moan.

He had your heart, body, mind and soul from that night on. And luckily you had his. It has been almost 2 years since you met and you are happily married. Conall had bought you a secluded cottage in the forest so you wouldn’t be disturbed and because he wanted you to be safe. He wasn’t taking any chances with his little bunny as he always told you. You couldn’t be any happier.

Realizing how far you had wandered from the house you turn to start making your way back, hoping Conall was now up. You had a lot you wanted to get done today. Conalls rut should be starting in the next day or two and you want to make sure you are fully stocked on meals. His rut lasts about three to four days and always takes the energy out of you both but you love it.

As you enter your home you begin to head into the kitchen when you hear your husband groan. Immediately you change directions and head toward your bedroom. Opening the door you feel your cunt flutter around nothing as slick begins to form.

Conall is on his knees on your bed, his huge cock is thrusting into your pillow which he has folded in half. You watch, completely transfixed and he lets out moans and groans only interrupted with growls in between. His cock has released so much precum the pillow looks glossy and your mouth salivates at the thought of tasting him.

Your head feels almost numb as his scent surrounds you. Your juices are starting to drip onto your thighs, creating a sticky mess. Your cunt clenches almost as if trying to remind you how empty it is right now and how bad you need to feel his cock stretching you open. Unable to tear your eyes away from your husband's cock you don’t even realize he is staring at you until he speaks.

“There’s my little wife. Want to tell me why my bunny wasn’t in bed with me when I woke up? Does she want to tell me why I had to resort to fucking her pillow instead of her needy little pussy, all because she wasn’t in my arms when I woke.” He says with a growl, his strokes never stopping or slowing.

It takes you a minute to formulate a response, your fuzzy brain hardly able to focus on anything except his cock. All you manage to say is, “I woke up and you were so hot so I decided to go on a walk to cool down”.

He pulls the pillow away from his cock and tosses it at the others by the headboard and with 2 long strides he has crossed the room and picked you up. He doesn’t hesitate in getting you on the bed and ripping his shirt off of you. You feel the gush of slick at his strength and dominance and even your little bunny tail twitches in excitement.

He pins you down on your back with your legs over his shoulders, folding you in half as he thrust his cock between your puffy pussy lips, coating himself in your arousal. He groans and says, “Did my dumb little bunny ever think that the reason I was so fucking hot was because I was starting my rut? That she was leaving me here without her pretty pussy to deal with it all alone?”. You whimper in response, barely able to focus on his words with the way the head of his cock taps your clit with each of his strokes over your cunt.

“It’s ok baby. I forgive you. I know your little bunny brain can’t think that far ahead. That’s why you need me right. To take care of you and breed you. Give you some pups to take care of and keep you occupied while I take care of everything else”. You just nod, moan, and try to push your hips up harder into him. Trying to get more friction on your weeping pussy.

He gives you a smirk before flipping you over onto your stomach. He drags your hips up and gives your ass a firm smack causing you to moan. You brace yourself on your hands as you wiggle your hips in front of his crotch, finally breaking that last bit of restraint he had. He enters you with one long and hard thrust causing you to cry out in pleasure and pain.

His thrusts are hard and fast, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath. The stretch alone is so good you cum and gush on his cock. The fast and sudden orgasm causing you to scream his name as he fucks you through every clench and pulse of your pussy, releasing groans but never stopping his motions. You whimper as you feel his knot smacking your entrance on every thrust.

Conall reaches over your head and grabs your pillow that he was fucking before. He places the pillow in front of you on the bed, before grabbing the back of your neck and shoving your face down into it. You inhale as much as you can and you are overwhelmed with the scent of him. The majority of the pillow is coated with his precum and shines in the light streaming through the window. You turn your head to the side to breathe better and feel the sticky liquid coat your cheek.

Conall gives a small laugh and growls out, “come on baby. I know my little bunny whore loves the taste of me. Stick out that little tongue of yours. I want to see you lick up all my juices that were wasted because you decided to take your little walk this morning”. You obey immediately and begin licking him off the pillow. Your pussy clenches at the depravity and even Conall moans at the sight. You repeat the action of licking and swallowing until the pillow is clean of him. You almost cry when it’s gone, missing the taste of him on your tongue.

You can feel yourself right on the edge. His thrust hitting that spot inside you so perfectly and brutally. You know you won’t last much longer when he gives your little bunny tail a harsh tug. You let out a silent scream as you are thrown off the edge. You cum gushing all over his cock and he gives one hard thrust pushing his knot inside of you and locking you both together. Conall lets out a loud growl as he begins to fill you with his cum. It goes on and on until you feel like you physically can’t take it anymore.

He moves the pillow from in front of you and lays you down flat on your stomach, all while staying locked inside of you. He lays himself over you, bracing himself on his forearms so he doesn’t crush you completely. You both take a few moments to catch your breath before you turn your head to give him a lazy kiss.

You know he will be ready to go again soon, his rut won’t let either of you rest for very long so you take this moment to just enjoy each other lovingly. As your body relaxes and melts into the bed he starts giving your floppy ears little nips with his teeth before soothing it with his tongue. You let out a small moan and he smiles before gently rocking his hips down.

His knot is still far too swollen to be able to truly pull out of you and thrust back in but he gives short thrusts and grinds into you, pushing your lower body back and forth on the bed slightly. You whimper and go to move a hand down to your clit to block some of the friction and reduce the overstimulation that was setting in.

Before you could slide your hand where it was needed, your husband takes both of your hands in his and pins them to the mattress on the sides of your head. You whimper but he just grinds down harder. Your swollen and overexposed clit drags firmly across the sheets with every stroke and the painful pleasure quickly is becoming too much.

“That’s it baby. I want to feel your tight little pussy squeezing my knot. I know my perfect little whore can take it. Let me feel you baby.”, Conall says continuing his torture of your overfull pussy and abused clit. He gives another harsh thrust at the same time he clamps his sharp teeth down on your neck and your whole world explodes. Pleasure surrounds every nerve in your body as you clamp down on his knot and gush over his cock.

After what feels like an hour but was probably only a few minutes, you come back down to the sensation of Conall soothing the bite on your neck with his tongue, giving little kisses in between licks. You are still fully locked on his cock and probably will be for at least another hour. You snuggle further into his body as you start to feel yourself succumb to sleep. You feel yourself surrounded by his overly warm body once again and know when you wake up in a little bit, you are in for even more pleasure. It’s going to be a long few days and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Author's note: Hi guys! I hoped you liked the story. Let me know what you think! ❤️💕🖤

[cosyvelvetorchid]

After watching a romcom with Tommy (who mentions offhand that nobody has ever romanced him like that), Buck activates his inner romantic (ie Season1Boyfriend!Buck) with one mission in mind: to completely and utterly sweep Tommy off his feet.

Tommy is this cool, confident and unflappable guy 24/7, and Buck has this need to see him blush.

Flowers, a candlelit meal, slowdancing in the moonlight. The whole shebang, and Tommy melts.

Im so sorry that this took an absolute age to get to! Lots of stuff going on and illness blah blah blah ANYWAY! Here it is, I hope you like it.

As Always if you have a bucktommy or saltommy prompt send to my ask box. Smut, fluff, whump.. whatever you want

🩶

********

RATING: T

TW: 1 use of the f-slur

WORDS: 2,432

********

Buck knew that Tommy loved a romcom. He liked lots of genres of movies, and all for different reasons. But romcoms he loved because of the fantasy of them. He’d told Buck once that growing up with a father like his, and then spending the majority of his adult years firmly tucked away in the closet, that he’d wholeheartedly believed that a true love or romance was not in his own future. That living vicariously through two people on screen, even if they were straight, was the closest thing he’d get to a happy ending.

He’d very much changed his mind since he’d met his Evan, but still Buck had been determined to give him all the romantic moments he’d missed out on over his life.

It started with surprising Tommy with a candle lit dinner ready when he came home from work.. Which ended with Buck being bent over the table as dessert. Not quite the emotional response he was going for, but hey who was he to say no to that!

Tommy mentioned once a book he loved as kid and Buck spent three weeks hunting down a first edition. He was certainly blown away by Bucks thoughtfulness and showed him immediately by getting on his knees. Again Buck was happy to oblige - he always was - but it still wasn’t the response he was truly hoping for.

He wanted to sweep Tommy entirely off his feet. Woo him to the point of breathlessness. Make him feel so unbelievably cherished and loved that he forgets out to speak.

And then the idea hit him.

Oddly, while watching Carrie.

“Man, the worst thing that happened at our senior prom was Mikey Jacobs spiking the punch. I still can’t drink Jack Daniels” Buck reminisced.

“Better than pigs blood, babe. Or, you know, the revenge by telekinesis.”

“True. What about you? What was yours like?”

Tommy sighed. “I, uh, didn’t go to mine.”

“Really?” Buck looked at him in surprise. “I mean granted you were secretly gay, but I know the girls would have been killing each other to get the Tommy Kinard to take them to prom.” The idea seemed to bring such joy to his Evans face that Tommy almost didn’t want to admit the reality.

“I appreciate the support, babe, but I wasn’t exactly drowning in dates with girls.” He laughed “I was 6’2” by the time I was 15 but I didn’t know how to build muscle or even eat right for my body’s needs. I went from 5’8” and over weight to 6’2” and skinny, which my dad just loved to point out constantly. I was super insecure and had zero confidence to ask a a girl out.” A look of sadness flickered across his face.

“Did people not go stag at your school?”

Tommy huffed a cold laugh. “Only fags and virgins go stag to a prom, Thomas.” He mimicked his father’s voice. Buck gently rubbed Tommys arm.

“I’m sorry you had to hear shit like that from your dad. You deserved so much better than that.”

“I know that now and mostly because of you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Bucks lips and smiled.

“Good.” He smiled back, already formulating his next plan to woo the shit out of his boyfriend.

This one took a few weeks of planning but Buck was certain it would knock Tommys socks off.

Tommy was surprised that Lucy had suddenly turned up at Harbour on what was supposed to be her day off. Even more surprised when she offered, nay - insisted - that she take Tommys remaining 24 hours of his 48 hours shift.

In the end their Captain had to practically shove him out of the harbour doors to get him out. He eventually relented and left for home.

Approaching their front door he noticed a note in handwriting so bad it had to be Bucks. God did he love him but the man’s penmanship looked like a doctor’s. A drunk doctor’s. Wearing a plaster cast. Thankfully after almost a year together he’d learned how to decipher Evans scribbles.

“Go straight upstairs.

Shower and get dressed..”

“Huh?”

“Don’t “huh” me, Kinard. Just do it. Then meet me in the dining room.

P.s: love you, Your Evan.”

Tommy chuckled to himself but did as he was asked and walked straight up the stairs to their bedroom. He was surprised, and confused, to see his tux freshly pressed and laid out on their bed.

After showering and dressing he made his way back down found himself knocking on his own dining room door for permission to enter.

“Come in.” Evans voice called from inside.

Tommy opened the door his mouth and eyes opened wide at what he saw.

The table had been pushed to the side wall, with a black cloth draped over the top, atop of which was a punch bowl filled with an orangey pink liquid. Surrounding it was lots of bowls filled with candy and chips and other kids favourite snacks.

A shiny disco ball hung from the ceiling with paper decorations swinging from the Center of the room and up to the corners. Twinkling lights hung all around giving the room a gorgeous warm glow.

And standing in the centre of the dining room, under the disco ball, in a tux that fit him so fucking perfectly was the most beautiful man Tommy had ever seen.

“What’s.. what’s going on?” Tommy asked not being able to hide his smile.

Evan took a few steps toward him and held out his hand. “Thomas Kinard. Will you go to prom with me?” Every time Tommy thinks he can’t fall in love with Evan any more, he’s proven wrong.

For the next two hours they do nothing but dance like idiots, drink spiked punch (tequila instead of Jack Daniel’s this time - buck would actually like to remember this prom), and snack on junk food.

Tommy couldn’t remember the last time he had let loose like this. Or even smiled this hard. Evan was by far the greatest joy to ever come into his life. He reminded Tommy of what fun was, what joy was and what it felt like to be truly unashamedly himself - something that nobody had ever made him felt safe enough to truly be.

Buck knew he’d achieved his task of sweeping Tommy off his feet tonight already, but there was one more thing he decided, last minute, that he was going to do.

Buck picked up his phone and searched for the perfect song, settling on Songbird by Eva Cassidy because it was on the soundtrack to Tommy’s favourite movie Love, Actually. He didn’t even need to do anything because as soon as the opening bars played through the speaker Tommy instantly knew what it was and pulled Buck into a slow dance.

They swayed slowly and silently for a few moments just breathing in the perfect moment with each other with Tommys arms wrapped around Bucks waist and Bucks arms around his neck.

“So, not that I’m complaining, babe, what with all the romancing lately?” Tommy asked.

“You deserve it.” Was Bucks simply reply. Tommy looked at him with a mixture of adoration with a hint of confusion. “You go out of your way to show me how much you love me and to do all these sweet and romantic things for me, but you deserve them too. You deserve to be shown how much you mean to me also.” Tommy was looking at him with those eyes again - the big bright ones Buck first saw right before Tommy had kissed him for the first time - and he had to use every bit of strength to hold back from jumping him, because he needed to say this before his courage disappeared.

“I see how you look at these little moments in the romcoms you love and I hate that you never got to experience them, so I wanted you to have some of them of your own. Our own.

“Plus, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you just how much I love you. To tell you how unbelievably happy that you walked, well, flew into my life. To tell you that I have never in all of my life thought that I deserved to have someone so beautiful and kind and wonderful and just fucking incredible as you. And.. and to ask you to marry me.”

Tommy blinked. Did he hear that correctly?

“Wh-what?”

“I know, it’s.. we’ve not even been together a full year yet, and full disclosure I didn’t even know I was going to ask until like 10 minutes ago so I don’t have a ring, and-“ Tommy grabbed Buck either side of his neck and pressed his lips firmly against his. When Tommy pulled back his cheeks were wet with tears cascading over his beautiful lower lashes. Finally, Buck thought.

“Hold that thought.” He said simply before quickly leaving the room. He took 2 steps at a time as he hurtled upstairs, before running back down seconds later back to Buck still stood in the center of the dining room.

He lifted up his palm on top of which was a dark blue velvet box, opened, with 2 tarnished silver bands of differing sizes, each with a shiny silver strip running around the centre of each of them.

“You bought.. how long have you..” Buck could barely get the words out. His eyes kept flicking between Tommys beautiful face and the rings in his hand.

“About a month. Well, I ordered them custom made about 2 months ago but I’ve had them for a month.”

“Custom?” Was all Buck could get out.

Tommy pointed to the shiny part of the rings. “A couple of years ago I had this rescue and the husband of the woman we were life flighting was telling us about how they met. Anyway, he said that his family had this tradition of putting something sentimental in the band to give to your partner as.. sort of as a piece of you.

You know that piece of metal that sits on my desk in the study?”

“Y-yeah. It’s part of the blade from the first chopper you flew when you transferred to harbour.”

“Right. Well, it now has a little chunk missing.” He laughed. “Transferring to the 217 was the first piece of me finally becoming who I always wanted to be. You’re the last piece, Evan.”

Buck had this whole night planned - minus is own spontaneous proposal - and had wanted Tommy to be the feeling pleasantly surprised and loved.. yet here he was himself being loved so fucking beautifully it was taking everything within him to not break apart right there.

“What’s-what’s in your ring?” He asked.

“Well, that was.. a little trickier. And full disclosure on my part - Maddie knows because I had to enlist her help.”

“Okay..”

“It’s kinda difficult to pick something when your boyfriend loves so many things,” he teased “and then Maddie.. she gave me a little silver bracelet that she was given as a kid and-“

Buck inhaled a breath when he realised what bracelet Tommy was referring to. Immediately his whole chin began to quiver and tears fell from his eyes.

“The one that Daniel gave to her.”

“Yeah.” Tommy said softly. “She told me how he’d seen it one day when he was with your grandparents when he was 6 or something and insisted he give to her for her birthday.” Buck nodded, not being able to find words. “She said that this would be something that would be special to you because you never got to know him. Is-is that okay?”

Buck looked from the ring back to up Tommy; eyes completely blurred from tears pouring out of him.

“I.. this..” He could always find peace in Tommy eyes but this was all so.. it was overwhelming and.. he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

“Tommy, this whole night was-was supposed to be about you.. a-and showing you just how much to mean to me and then..” he blew out another breath trying to center himself “and then here you are with the most beautiful fucking gesture, I.. I can’t..” The tears flowed once again and this time he threw his arms around Tommys neck and held on tight. Tommy, as he always did, reciprocated and held him tightly back.

“I love you so fucking much.” He cried into Tommys neck. Tommys own tears were flowing too, now.

“God I love you, too, Evan. More than I could ever even show you.”

“I don’t know-“ Buck pulled back with a laugh “I think you hit it out of the ball park with this one.” He gently thumbed Tommys tears from his cheeks. He looked closer at the rings.

“Are there inscriptions?”

“Only on yours.” Tommy replied, sniffing.

“For my Evan. Always.” Buck read out loud. Tommy wiped away Bucks next tears that came. They were the only type of tears he ever wanted to illicit from his Evan.

“I thought you would what to decide what to inscribe on my ring. Can I put it on you now?” Tommy asked.

“Uh, technically I should be putting on you because I asked first. Actually, you haven’t actually said yes by the way..”

Tommy reached up an gently placed back an errant curl that had fallen onto Bucks forehead and looked at him with those big earnest eyes again.

“Yes.”

Buck took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Tommy finger, then Tommy did the same with Bucks ring.

Buck gripped the lapels of Tommys tux and pulled him into a kiss. They both sighed into it. It wasn’t a kiss that they’d shared before; this one was full of promise, of hope, a future - the rest of their lives as husbands.

Tommy pulled back for a second “By the way, I did promise Maddie that the second we became engaged that we would face time her. Where’s your phone?”

“She can wait a little bit.” Buck replied aiming his lips at Tommys neck.

“You sure? She might be mad.” Buck lifted up and looked Tommy in the eyes.

“Tommy, there’s only one thing I want to do right now and it absolutely does not involve my sister.”

“She can wait a little bit.” Tommy repeated wrapping his arms around his Evans neck and pulling him in for another deep kiss.

[quin-ns]

The blue II (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

The light chatter filling the restaurant buzzed around you. You leaned on the bar, a rag in your hand as you lazily wiped off menus, your mind yet again wandering back to a few mornings ago.

Ever since you’d woken up on the couch on the Chateau porch, your step brother in the chair across from you, John B in the doorway, and the morning sunlight warming your skin, things seemed off.

John B had been announcing breakfast. It wasn’t anything malicious, but you saw the way JJ eyed him, and John B’s uncomfortable smile in response. Tension was the best way you could think to label it.

You didn’t think anything seemed different between them that night itself, but guys were weird. Their interactions the rest of the day turned back to normal, but that moment stuck in your head for some reason. You couldn’t quite explain it, not even to yourself.

You had a harder time explaining it to Kiara.

“I think you’re just reading into stuff that’s not there,” Kie insisted, passing by you with a platter. She could see the thoughtful look on your face and had probably had enough of your worrying. “Don’t stress out.”

You had to wait until she returned from the table she was waiting on to respond. You helped her out at The Wreck sometimes, picking up a few shifts a week when it was busy. You’d done it just to be kind and give your friend some company, but the paycheck was pretty decent for the hours you worked. You kept a secret stash Luke couldn’t get his grubby hands on, and it helped. When you and JJ weren’t mooching off of your friends for the food in their fridges, you could use the money to stock yours.

JJ used to complain about you working, but not so much anymore. It had mainly been because he didn’t like you working late into the night on days when Kiara got off earlier than you. She always came back to give you a ride home so you didn’t see the big deal, but then JJ started showing up on his bike to escort you himself so she wouldn’t have to. At least it eased his concern enough to let you keep your hours.

You were working the barely populated counter right now, watching Kie zip around, trying to formulate a response in your head.

Maybe you were just overthinking, you were the first to admit you tended to do that. You and JJ practically lived in each other's pockets, if something was up he would tell you… wouldn’t he?

“So you didn't notice anything? Nothing at all?” you asked Kie, the words jumping off your tongue the moment she returned to your side.

The other girl shrugged, stealing two of the menus you had just cleaned.

“JJ just seems like JJ, but… I mean, John B has been looking at you more.”

Your brows curved down. “Looking at me more?”

“Not trying to make him sound like a creep, but yeah.” She smirked, a hand landing on her hip. “Maybe he’s into you.”

“Into me? John B?” It sounded like a joke. “You can’t be serious.”

She raised her hands in mock surrender, menus waving like a flag. “You asked what I thought,” she defended as she walked away.

Did she actually think that? If JJ was suspicious, that might explain things, but you couldn’t be sure.

Kiara stuck around and pulled a double since her parents asked her to, and it worked out well so the two of you could ride together.

That’s why when the restaurant was closed and you and Kie were heading out to her car, you were surprised to find JJ waiting in the parking lot with his bike.

He was leaning against it, his arms crossed over his chest. The blonde smirked when he saw you, a quip about making him wait on the tip of his tongue

You were about to make a dumb joke about him trying to look like a bad boy stereotype to counter—the white T-shirt and boots really added to that—but Kie beat you both to the punch and spoke first.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when the two of you approached him.

“Didn’t think you’d still be here,” JJ said to Kie, standing up straight and tucking his hands into his pockets.

“I texted you she was gonna give me a ride.”

You were certain you had.

“I didn’t see it,” JJ said with a shrug. “You wanna ride with me to the Chateau then? Since I detoured all the way here.”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic tone and looked to Kie.

“I’ll see you there.” You climbed on the back of the bike, waiting for him to hop on the front. “Come on, since you’re in such a rush.”

“You’re so bossy,” he taunted, but climbed on nonetheless. The bike grumbled to life and he revved the engine. “Hold on.”

You wrapped your arms around his midsection, scooting close enough to him to look over his shoulder. Not seeing where you were going gave you a bit of anxiety, even if JJ did tone down on his recklessness when you joined him for a ride.

The bike zoomed off, taking the lead, with Kie driving behind.

You thought of asking him about what had been on your mind, but the wind in your face and the roar of the bike didn’t really afford you the opportunity to make a lot of conversation.

So you clung to him tight, not bothering to try. If anyone else had been driving you would’ve wanted to get off immediately, but you knew JJ wouldn’t let you get hurt. He always looked out for you, the same way you did for him. He was the one constant you had been able to rely on this past year, but you shook your head before you could delve further into that.

You let yourself be distracted from the thought of prison cells by the security of having JJ close and the knowledge that you’d see the rest of your friends soon. It didn’t stop your heart from racing with every sharp turn you took.

“You alright back there?” he questioned over his shoulder, slowing enough for you to be able to hear him. He must’ve noticed the way you held him tighter.

“All good,” you replied, and it was about 80% the truth.

“I’ve never crashed this thing, you can trust me,” he reminded.

“I know,” you said as he started to speed up again. “I do!” you added, having to yell over the engine.

You felt JJ’s body ripple as he chuckled to himself. It was silly to think you were nervous, you’d been on the back of his bike maybe a hundred times by now.

You truly did trust JJ. You didn’t think he was going to crash or anything, it was just that natural adrenaline paired with your racing thoughts of, well, everything, that made your heart slam against your rib cage the way that it did.

You were safe with him. You always were. JJ wasn’t going to crash, and he certainly wasn’t in a fight with John B. Everything was fine.

Getting close with JJ was one of the best things that happened to you, and it came at a necessary time. Your mom going to jail was hard enough, but your friends turning on you and demonizing you was just salt in the wound. Luke, your step dad, was an asshole and a drunk, and it only got worse when he was left without her.

If it wasn’t for JJ you would’ve run away. You had a bag packed and everything, but no one ever knew about that. Nobody but JJ, and that wasn’t until later. Even if he wasn’t the kind of guy to talk about feelings, he saw you were hurting, and made himself more present. He even introduced you to his friends, who you grew close with quicker than you thought possible. It made you realize what real friends were.

You had never been a fan of Luke, but you didn’t realize how truly awful he was until one night you woke up to an argument, and not too long after JJ found you in your room with a bruise on his cheek. You begged him to leave with you, you told him about your plan and how it wasn’t too late, but he wouldn’t. Maybe he was too loyal to his friends, or at the time he didn’t believe you could make it. Either way, he wouldn’t go. So, you stayed for him.

Your bond strengthened quickly and you soon became a lifeline for one another. You’d had best friends before, but it was different with JJ. You needed him, and he never deprived you. You had a brother and a best friend and a partner in crime wrapped all up in one. Life wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t seem so bad after a while. You had JJ to thank for that. You honestly didn’t know what you’d do without him.

You recognized the yard of the Chateau as JJ turned into it, even though it was dark. You’d been here enough now to feel familiar with it—almost more familiar than your own house. To you, JJ, and your other friends, this was your second home.

With John B’s dad missing, you all tried to be there for him as much as possible. It was the least you could do.

You were especially sympathetic. Even though your mom was gone under different circumstances, you understood what it felt like to have a parent be there one day and gone the next. At least you had the comfort of knowing where your mom was, even if she was locked up hours away. John B had no idea, and that broke your heart for him. Big John was a good guy, you only knew him briefly, but you hoped he was alive somewhere, even just for John B’s sake.

The other night when you’d fallen asleep on the couch with him, the two of you had talked about it. Without the others around, the topic turned a little less lighthearted and both of you opened up about your troubles. Not that the others wouldn’t listen or that they wouldn’t be kind, it was just different with only him. Easier, somehow, in an unexpected way.

JJ stopped the bike and helped you off before letting it rest against a tree. He took you by the hand, making sure both your feet hit the ground.

“Thanks,” you muttered, eyes drawn to a glowing orange light in the distance.

“Campfire, nice,” JJ said, mostly to himself, heading for the other two boys that were waving you over.

It took you a second to notice he had yet to drop your hand, just holding it in his as he led the two of you to John B and Pope. You didn’t say anything about it. His skin was a bit calloused and his palm was warm, but you didn’t mind. You tried to recall if he’d ever held your hand before but you couldn’t seem to remember for certain.

“Where’s Kie?” Pope asked when he spotted the two of you, but not the other girl.

JJ snorted. “Nice to see you too, Pope.”

“She was right behind us,” you recalled, turning to see if she had pulled into the yard yet. In the process, you dropped JJ’s hand, not thinking much of it. You saw her headlights briefly, then they shut off. “Let's get this party started.”

Of course wasn’t actually a party, just the five of you sitting around a small fire on various chairs, lightly sipping beers, discussing whatever random thoughts came to mind.

JJ was on your left, and Kiara was on your right. John B was across from you and next to JJ, and Pope was in between John B and Kie.

You only made mental note of the seating arrangement because you still held your suspicions. You had a hard time letting things go.

At first you picked up on the way JJ was in his seat at an angle, facing more towards you with his back to the boy next to him. You also noticed that John B was smiling at you more than he usually did. Not to say he didn’t smile, and you did consider yourself to be at least mildly amusing, but even you knew you weren’t as funny as he acted like you were tonight.

As if that wasn’t enough, you caught the way Pope kept glancing at Kie, but she was oblivious.

After a sip of your beer, you let out a huff. Not quite a laugh, not quite a scoff. You’d meant to keep it in your head, internally mocking your friend group for being so weird tonight, but it slipped out.

“What’s on your mind?” John B wondered, raising his brows at you. He looked amused already, like he assumed you were going to say something good without even knowing.

You shrugged, not about to admit your thoughts out loud.

“What’s on yours?” you countered, matching his curious expression.

He leaned forward a little and smirked at your deflection.

“If El Dorado is real,” John B quipped.

“It’s definitely not,” Pope added despite John B’s clear teasing tone.

“You don’t dream of gold and riches, Pope?” JJ joined in, unable to resist mocking the realist of the group.

Pope just rolled his eyes, but you smirked.

“Your turn,” John B told you.

You hummed thoughtfully. “Where I’m gonna go on vacation. What do you think—Cancun or Bali?”

John B shrugged. “Cancun is closer. What kind of room are you booking? Ocean view would be nice.”

“Why, you wanna come with?”

John B grinned a little too wide and looked away bashfully.

“I don’t know.” His eyes met yours again above the fire. “Do you want the company?”

Something akin to excitement filled you. It was just a silly conversation, but since when did John B turn the charm on with you?

You couldn’t resist playing into it.

“Maybe I do.”

“Can you two quit it?” Kiara piped up, clearly over the bit you and John B had dragged on. “All the flirting is making me nauseous.”

You knew she was just giving you a hard time, and probably couldn’t help but mess with you two about her suspicions, but it still made your teasing smirk drop. You swallowed and sat back in your seat, looking away from John B to her. Your face felt incredibly warm, and not because of the flames.

“Aw, don’t be jealous, Kie,” John B taunted lightly, able to play it off better than you. “You can come with.”

Kiara rolled her eyes so hard you were sure you heard it.

“What is with everyone today…” she muttered. You might’ve been the only one who heard, because no one reacted to her. She didn’t really want an answer anyway.

“Barring the fact that this vacation is hypothetical,” Pope started, as if you all needed to be reminded. He sat up a little, seeming interested still. “I’d also like to be invited.”

“‘Course you’re goin’, Pope!” JJ announced, clapping a hand down on John B’s shoulder. The boom of his voice was so sudden that you nearly jumped from your chair. JJ grinned at the whole group before focusing on the boy next to him. “You got room for the rest of us? Or were you just gonna steal Y/N and take off?”

Everyone heard the bite in JJ’s tone. The silence that followed was deafening, allowing it to replay in all of your minds before John B spoke. You would’ve thought John B was threatening to kidnap you at gunpoint the way JJ made it seem.

You weren’t sure you’d ever seen your friend look so confused as he opened his mouth to respond to JJ, then closed it again. He took another second.

“No one’s stealing anyone,” he clarified to only JJ. The sincerity was a contrast to the ridiculous conversation that had just transpired. “You know that, right?”

JJ clearly wasn’t expecting the question, or maybe he’d planned on making it seem less serious than he was able to. From beside him, you could only see barely the side of his face, but you saw his body shift. He wasn’t sure whether he could relax or not.

You subconsciously glanced at Kiara for confirmation that she too was seeing what you witnessed, and from the pout on her lips and the way her eyes flicked to you, as if asking whether to intervene or not, you knew she did.

“It’s not like we're actually going anywhere,” Kiara pointed out, trying to set their heads on straight.

“Right,” JJ said, as if reminding himself of that. He pulled away from John B completely and slumped back in his chair. He looked embarrassed, throwing you a side glance, but then turned his attention to his beer bottle quickly. “Maybe some other time, when we find El Dorado.”

The joke fell flat

JJ’s gaze stayed on the bottle a second longer before lifting it. He tilted it all the way up, trying to ignore the silence, but with the way he pulled it back and looked annoyed it was clear it was empty.

“I’m gonna get another, you guys want anything?” he offered, already out of his chair and walking across the yard to the house.

When he was out of earshot Pope leaned in to the group. “That was really weird, right?”

You and John B exchanged a look. Then, he stood up.

“I’m gonna…” he trailed off as he pointed towards the house, feet carrying him away from you, Pope, and Kie.

The three of you took a moment, watching John B as he too disappeared into the house.

“Okay, so John B definitely likes you, and I think JJ knows and is pissed,” Kiara concluded, sounding a second away from pulling out a cork board. Except this wasn’t a tough case to crack. “There’s no other explanation.”

“Would JJ even care that much?” Pope pondered aloud.

You looked down at your feet.

“I guess so,” you mumbled, not even bothering to deny either of Kie’s observations.

“I get that he’s being “protective brother””—she did finger quotes around that phrase—“and that’s sweet and all, but he needs to chill,” Kiara said firmly, but the one who needed to hear it wasn’t present.

You wondered what was going on inside. You got antsy just thinking about it.

“Wait, do you think John B likes you?” Pope questioned you.

You felt both him and Kie staring at you, waiting for an answer. When you glanced between them, you grew anxious at the amount of concern in their faces. You especially zeroed in on Kie. The initial teasing giddiness she had at the prospect had long disappeared after seeing how JJ reacted.

You denied it before, and maybe it wasn’t even true, but JJ sure thought it was something. Whatever he thought, he hadn’t been mad at you. No, John B got the brunt of his frustrations. He was protective of you, sure, but… well, you didn’t quite know how to explain it. Your mind was jumbled as you searched for a way to voice your thoughts in an at least somewhat coherent way.

“I—”

Just as you opened your mouth to try, you were cut off by the slam of the porch door of the Chateau.

“Seriously, JJ?” John B called after the blonde, who had barged out the door and was now stomping towards his bike against the tree. “Why are you making such a big deal about this?”

This.

He meant you, didn’t he? You had a good feeling their fight wasn’t about Cancun.

JJ didn’t yell anything back. He just climbed on his bike and revved the engine. You got to your feet just in time to get a clear view as he sped away towards the street and disappeared into the night.

John B looked back towards you. You couldn’t see the face he made in the distance in the dark, but you saw how his hands dropped to his sides in defeat.

“That cannot have been good…” Pope stated uncomfortably.

John B approached you all, his silhouette becoming more illuminated the closer he got to the fire.

“I, um.” He scratched the back of his head. “I think I’m gonna call it a night if that’s cool with you guys.”

You found yourself agreeing with Pope, even though the words didn’t come out.

“Yeah, okay,” Kiara responded first, almost cautiously. She looked to you. “Do you need a ride?”

Of course you did, yours completely abandoned you. It was still nice of her to ask as if it was a polite offer and not a necessity.

“Thanks, Kie,” you told her, forcing a smile. “I’d appreciate that.”

“I need to get home anyway, I gotta work with my dad in the morning,” Pope joined in, trying to make the exit seem more natural. “See you guys later,” he said, bidding you all farewell, anxious to escape the bubble of awkwardness.

Kiara looked between you and John B. You wouldn’t really fix your eyes anywhere, but he was looking at you. You could feel it.

You weren’t sure how you wanted your friend to react, but she took John B’s hint and made an excuse to go to her car—something about getting it started so the AC would flow. It was totally fake, anyway.

You weren’t really listening, more focused on the sound of the crackling fire and nighttime creatures.

John B sighed a little and that caught your attention.

“Sorry he took off like that,” he apologized, offering a sympathetic smile.

You shook your head. “Not your fault.”

He looked down for a second and stuffed his hand into his pockets.

“It… might be,” he admitted, voice holding a guilt that matched his stance. You just watched him, waiting for him to meet your eye and continue. “I kinda have a thing for you and JJ doesn’t exactly like that, apparently.”

You should’ve been more surprised, but you weren’t naive enough to pretend it was some big plot twist reveal.

You nodded slowly instead, unsure how to respond to that.

Sure, you liked John B as a friend, but did you have a crush on him? You didn’t know—didn’t think so. Flirting with him was fun, but you never thought of it being more than that until tonight. If you did like him, or at least if you were starting to, it was now tainted by JJ’s reaction.

“Sorry he freaked out on you,” you said after a long moment.

“Not your fault,” he returned your words back to you. “I wasn’t planning on telling you like this, or telling you at all right now but um… I assumed you probably started to figure it out.”

His awkward laugh eased the tension a little, and you felt your shoulders relax.

“Sorta, maybe,” you confessed. You pointed your thumb over your shoulder to where the jeep was parked. “Kiara kinda suspected it before all this so…”

“Sounds like her,” John B replied easily. “I don’t expect you to say anything back right now, I just thought you might want some sort of explanation for all”—he gestured to the house where what you assumed was an argument between him and your step brother had taken place—“that.”

John B was telling you he had feelings for you, and somehow it had become all about JJ. You bet the blonde would’ve gotten a kick out of that.

“I’ll talk to him, he’ll be fine. He always is,” you told your friend. He nodded, seeming relieved by that. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

As you were passing by John B to leave, you did something you instantly wanted to take back.

You stopped in front of him and pressed up on your tiptoes. You gave him a light kiss on the cheek, more of an apologetic gesture than anything else, but you knew how it would look to him.

He told you he had a crush on you, and you kissed him on the cheek.

Guys didn’t usually appreciate the nuances of things like that, even an intelligent guy like John B. You could only hope he took it for what it was.

Your back was to him before he could question you, and you fought the urge to explain yourself.

“See ya,” John B called after you, sounding like he was about to stumble over his words if he continued.

You clenched your eyes shut for a long moment. It was only because you lost your sense of direction that you opened them again and sought out the jeep.

Kiara was quiet for the beginning of the drive, waiting for you to talk first. When you didn’t, she filled the silence.

“You wanna go to my house? My parents won’t mind,” she offered, sensing the unspoken stress radiating off of you.

You shook your head a little.

“I gotta talk to JJ,” you explained in a few words. It was more than enough. “John B told me he likes me,” you added, laying your head against the window, unable to keep it to yourself.

There was a sort of exhaustion to your voice that didn’t allow Kiara to smile at the revelation right away.

“Told you,” she commented instead, only letting herself chuckle when you cracked a smile at her tone. “Do you like him back?”

“I haven’t really thought about it. I don’t know,” you said. You didn’t think you did but you weren’t exactly sure now. “That’s a question for another night.”

Kie nodded. She witnessed what you had, after all.

“If you don’t know, maybe it’s a sign you don’t,” she suggested, glancing over to you briefly. “But if you do, JJ will get over it.”

Something in you suggested maybe that wouldn’t be the case, but you forced a smile when you tilted your head and met her gaze as if to agree—or thank her, at least, for the support.

When she pulled up outside your house, you had to drag yourself out of the car. A confrontation was coming up, there was no way it wasn’t.

You weren’t going to be able to just pretend nothing happened, and even if you did resist questioning JJ and ignored him instead, he’d sense your annoyance and push you until you talked to him. And talking, in this case, would lead to arguing. You hated arguing.

When you got inside the house, it was dark. The only light came from the TV. With it, you spotted Luke passed out on the couch, so you kept your footsteps quiet as you trekked through clutter back to your room.

Opening your door, you weren’t sure whether to find it surprising or not that JJ was in your bed. He often sought comfort with you in your room after hard times, but you began to wonder if he still did the same even when you weren’t present.

He was laying stomach down, flat on the mattress. His head was to the side, resting on your pillow, and his feet were hanging off the edge. At least he was nice enough to not put his dirty boots on your clean sheets, even if he had invaded your space.

Just like the rest of the house, your room was dark. You shut the door behind you when you stepped in and went for your bedside lamp.

You clicked it on and crossed your arms, looking down at the blonde. You caught him blinking and knew he was awake, although you didn’t actually think he was trying to pretend.

You subconsciously scanned his face—the part that you could see—for new injuries and found nothing.

“That really wasn’t cool,” you scolded him when you saw he was awake. “Fighting with John B then storming off like that.”

He ignored you, just flicking his eyes up to you wordlessly.

You rolled your eyes, frustration brewing. In an instant, you snatched the pillow from beneath his head and tossed it on an empty space on the bed.

JJ sat up with a reluctant frown. “Thanks, I’ll remember that next time.”

Your stomach turned when you saw a new bruise on his cheek. It was on the side of his face he’d hidden in the pillow.

You wanted to help him, to get ice, but his face almost held a warning for you not to.

“Don’t,” he murmured when he saw your expression soften. “It’s fine.”

The way he planted his feet on the ground and stared up at you made him seem like you were putting him in time-out or something. You didn’t like that feeling. Why was he so stubborn?

“There’s not gonna be a next time, you need to fix this,” you insisted, going back to the topic beforehand, feeding the narrative you were trying to resist.

JJ scoffed and even shook his head, it reminded you of how he had acted around all your friends.

“Funny how you seem to think you’re the boss of me,” he challenged, clearly in a bad mood. Whatever anger he’d been feeling at the Chateau had only been amplified by whatever transpired here in your absence. “Why does it matter anyway? Can you just stay out of it?”

“Well, if you weren’t all weird and hadn’t ditched me, maybe I wouldn’t be involved.”

A look of guilt broke through JJ’s rough exterior. His eyes turned to the floor, looking almost ashamed. The room was quiet for a moment, all you could hear was breathing.

“Sorry about that,” he said, voice lower than before. “I shouldn’t have left you.”

You let out an exhale. It was really hard to stay mad at him when all you wanted was to take him into your arms. It must’ve been hard for him to apologize, ‘sorry’ had never been his thing.

“It’s fine, I got a ride with Kie,” you uttered, letting him off the hook even though you should not have. There were more pressing matters. “Did you and John B fight about me?”

That made him look up, a sense of panic in those blue eyes of his.

“Is that what he said?” JJ asked, regaining composure as he stood, but still scanning your face.

“Not in those exact words,” you relayed. “But he told me he liked me and that you weren’t happy about it.”

JJ’s face shifted and he shook his head. He didn’t deny it.

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismissed you instead in a way that made it hard not to take offense.

You weren’t used to him treating you this way, like you didn’t deserve to be involved in whatever was going on with him. Not to mention you were directly affected, whether JJ wanted you to be or not.

“How about you don’t worry about it?” you snapped back, defiance kicking in. It was an instinct, you’d never had to talk back to him in this way. Sure, you’d argued before about little things, but this wasn’t that. “If I like him or not, it’s my choice.” You furthered his surprise by jabbing a finger at his chest. “Not yours.”

You saw JJ’s jaw tense. He was trying to find the right words.

“You can’t,” he came up with, spitting it out like he couldn’t keep it in.

You furrowed your brows, the corners of your lips tugging down.

“Can’t?” you repeated in disbelief. “Okay, JJ.”

“I’m serious,” he replied to your heavy sarcasm. “You just can’t,” he argued, with noticeably less power than before. It sounded pleading, even. Like he was begging you not to even consider it.

“Why?” you questioned, less fire igniting your temper. If anything, you were curious now.

“Can you just drop it?” he shot back, running a hand through his messy hair. He appeared more panicked than angry, realizing the corner he’d backed himself into.

“No, not when you made it a thing. Just tell me what is going on,” you pressed, wanting a straightforward answer.

What was so awful about this to him?

The fingers in his hair tightened, like he was going to rip the strands out.

“Can you not ask me that?” he nearly demanded, dropping his hand, fingers twitching at his side. The request was so ridiculous you couldn’t help but laugh. JJ’s frown deepened into something more hurt. “I don’t want to talk about this with you,” he determined, trying to walk past you.

You put a hand out, stopping him by the chest. You tilted your chin up at the close proximity, making him meet your eye.

“Can you just answer the question?” you countered, using little force to keep him in place. You stared up, watching him as he stared at you wordlessly. “You’re not a coward, JJ.” Maybe it was antagonistic, but you wanted an answer. You were at the end of your rope. “You always speak your mind—so do it.”

Then, JJ did just about the last thing you ever expected him to.

He kissed you.

[oswildin]

Loki x ADHD!Partner Headcannons

Please note this is written using my own understanding/knowledge of ADHD (general), and from my own personal experience with neurodivergence (autism). ADHD, same as autism, is not the same for everyone!

Loki knew you struggled with keeping your thoughts in check, sometimes it was like a hundred things were going round in your mind and yet you just could not focus on one damn thing.

Loki knew you could get frustrated, distracted, agitated by this issue, and he hated that. He would do his best to help where he could, ensuring you remembered important things - appointments, commitments, tasks, anything that he thought could slip your mind, he had your back.

“Oh, did you make that phone call you mentioned earlier?” “Here’s your tea, you left it in the kitchen, I didn’t want it to go cold.” “Let me help you with that.” “Let’s sit down and formulate a plan.”

He was always gentle with his reminders, never getting angry or upset with your moments of forgetfulness. He understood that it was a genuine mistake, that sometimes… these things happen.

When you need to just yap, Loki is always happy to listen. He loves listening to you talk. He knows it makes you feel better, it makes you happy, and that makes him happy.

Feeling anxious? A little overwhelmed? Like you can’t shut your mind off? Loki is on the case.

“Come.” Loki would say gently, a small smile on his lips as he guided you to the living room he’d told you to stay out of for the last half an hour. When you enter, your favourite film is ready on the TV, a snuggly blanket is waiting for you on the couch, and a variety of snacks (and of course multiple drinks) are also there for you to enjoy. “I thought perhaps it could help calm your mind a bit, just for a while.”

He always keeps a mental note of where you leave things - like your phone, earphones, keys etc. Or if he sees them in the ‘wrong spot’ he will move them so they’re clearly visible to you. He also knows sometimes things become apart of the furniture so to speak. To be honest, he’s the same with his books.

Trouble sleeping? Loki will make you some tea, light some scented candles that smell like lavender, maybe even put on some soothing, relaxing music - anything to try and help you relax and unwind. He’ll even read to you. Or he will simply stay awake with you. It’s fine, he doesn’t need much sleep anyway, he’s a God.

Have a lot of tasks/chores that need doing and you don’t know where to start? No worries, Loki actually loves organising things - being methodical. He will sit with you and help make a list of things to do.

If you’re having a bad day, maybe experiencing some mood swings, Loki is patient. He is understanding. At first, he thought he was doing something wrong, but when he began to read up about ADHD and gather as much information as he could to understand and help you, he realised that it was something you couldn’t help, it wasn’t him.

If you snap at him or get frustrated/hot tempered, Loki simply gives you your space. Although he is always near, never wanting you to feel like he was leaving you alone or that he doesn’t want to be around you. No, that isn’t it. He just knows from his own experience with anger that sometimes you just need a moment to cool off and take a breath.

Feeling spontaneous? Well, lucky for you, Loki is always onboard. It makes life interesting!

However, if you’re feeling impulsive and it’s something that Loki considers… ‘reckless’ - he will always try and steer your attention to something else, something more productive and fun.

“When did that get there?” You’d once asked, furrowed brows as you looked at the book shelf Loki had put up. Loki raised a brow, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Two weeks ago.” He told you lightly, a slight tease to his voice. “Oh.” You blinked. “I wonder what else I could do around here before you notice…” Loki mused playfully, feigning deep thought. “Shut up.” You rolled your eyes playfully, amused.

Loki is always there to help any way he can, make your life easier, whether to listen, lend a hand. He knows that sometimes things can be hard, feel impossible, be too much… And he never judges you. He wants to be there, he wants to make you feel comfortable, he wants to let you feel seen and understood.

“You are amazing.” Loki told you, peering down at you as you were snuggled against him. “Truly, I’m so proud of you.” He pressed a kiss to your temple as you smiled. “And you know, whatever you need, whenever you need it…” He raised a brow, tilting his head playfully. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.”

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter Eight

Summary

When whining about season selection to your therapist turns into confronting the complicated ways that Astarion makes you feel, she challenges you to really explore what it is that you - or perhaps your subconscious - want.

Pairing: Astarion/f!Reader Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2.6k Tags/Warnings: imagined D/s dynamic, light bondage, ascended Astarion lines, vaginal fingering, masturbation

Thank god this girl is finally getting into therapy, am I right? I don't have a ton to say other than now that the major conflict I had planned is winding down, it's going to be a lot more about exploration from here on out.

Once again, Zaria is out here killing it with these screenshots!

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

You massage your temples in an attempt to ease your headache. Season selection has been going terribly – every meeting just ended with everyone talking in circles. Today, it’s Alfira’s turn to make her case as to why hers is the best choice.

“I just think that it would do our students a lot of good to have this outlet to talk about their mental health,” she insists, bleeding heart that she is.

“I’m not necessarily saying I disagree with you,” you begin, gears in your head turning as you formulate your thoughts. “But isn’t Heathers, like, dark to the point of troubling?”

“Well sure, it’s dark, but what do you mean troubling?” Her eyes are big and round, and you try to imagine someone as tender as Alfira blocking a scene like “Dead Girl Walking.” It’s not easy.

“I’ve seen the way teen girls talk about the character JD, it’s a little concerning.” You fold your arms and lean back in your chair, studying Alfira’s expression carefully as it twists into a frown.

“I mean, sure, some of them think he’s cute, but I don’t think anyone is looking at him and thinking ‘boyfriend goals.’” 

“Are you sure? Have you seen the TikToks for that one song? What’s-it-called, the ‘open the door’ song.” Your fingers twitch towards your phone, fighting the urge to pull up the app.

“Yeah, ‘Meant to be Yours,’ I’ve seen them, and I think they’re fairly harmless. They know it’s not real, you know?” She fiddles with the pen in her hand, not taking her eyes off you. You squirm, uncomfortable under her persistent gaze.

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know.” You look down at your notes, giving yourself a second to think. “Something about the way they talk about JD makes me feel icky. JD as a character makes me feel icky. Besides,” you add quickly before she gets that puppy dog look in her eyes, “I don’t know if building around a theme of ‘mental health’ is specific enough to be interesting. I’m not even sure I can think of a classical play that fits into that.”

“Perhaps Hamlet?” Lucretious says with a smirk, and you groan loudly as others in the meeting titter.

“Gods, please, literally anything else,” you whine. 

The discussion continues, going absolutely nowhere, until the clock ticks over and everyone starts to pack up their things. Another meeting gone, and you’re no closer to having a season for next year. You put away your notebook and Alfira comes up beside you.

“Just think on it a little more,” she implores. “The kids have talked a lot about wanting to do Heathers, I’m just advocating for them.”

“But do you think it’s a good, timely choice? You, the professor?” you ask suspiciously, trying to scope out her intentions.

“I really do, yes. I think there’s a reason why they’re drawn to it right now.”

You chew on your lip and look at her a little longer. Then you sigh and acquiesce. “Fine, I’ll give it another read. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, maybe there’s something I’m missing.”

“Thank you! I appreciate it, and I know the students do too,” she says, giving your arm a little squeeze. You soften, finding it difficult to perform your usual stubbornness with someone as sweet as Alfira.

Something is still gnawing at you, though, and you can’t figure out what.

***

You arrive at your therapist’s office a few minutes before your appointment. You sit in the waiting room, the white noise machine humming pleasantly. At 6:00 on the dot, Jaheira opens the door and waves you forward.

“Come in,” she says in her thick Russian accent. You walk past her into the office, which has a cozy, natural vibe. Between all of the plants and the bookshelves, you have no idea what color the walls are. You toe off your shoes and settle on the couch cross-legged as she sits across from you in an elegant red chair.

“So tell me, how are things going?” she asks, crossing her legs and letting her legal pad balance on her knee. You fidget uncomfortably, trying to figure out what to bring up first. But the season selection meeting is still so fresh in your mind, and you have so many thoughts bouncing around your head. Before you can stop yourself, you’re filling her in on all the details, including your feelings about Heathers.

“I just don’t understand why she’s so insistent on this musical, it’s not even really that good,” you grump, picking at your cuticles. She taps her pen to her mouth contemplatively.

“And this character that bothers you so much, JD? What is it about him specifically that gets under your skin? Surely you don’t feel this way about all bad guys in plays.” She tilts her head as she speaks and your eyes dart around the room, both avoiding her gaze and trying to gather your thoughts.

“I don’t know, there’s just something… Honestly, I think it’s the way these teen girls talk about him. I can totally see some of myself in them, too. I feel like if I were a teen when this musical came out I’d be foaming at the mouth for him.” You roll your eyes at the imaginary version of yourself you’ve conjured.

“Is that bad? To find the villain attractive?”

“It’s not just finding him attractive, it’s what qualities they find attractive. The toxicity, the obsessiveness, the violence. I don’t want them to take that into their real lives, you know?” Your words ring in your ears with double meaning and you quickly shut the errant thought down. Not Jaheira, though. She picks up on it immediately.

“We’re not talking about JD anymore, are we?” she asks softly and you fold your arms across your chest. You’re silent for a good long time, various thoughts and feelings barreling through your mind like a train, while she just watches you patiently. Finally, you muster up the energy to speak.

“I just… don’t like that I like it. Every time my body gets turned on by something terrible that he does, I feel betrayed. Like I’ve violated my own consent. It makes me feel sick,” you say in a very small voice, fixing your gaze on a small succulent on the coffee table in front of you.

“I believe you said last tenday that he thought it was all a game, correct?” she asks carefully, and you nod. She continues, “Well, what’s stopping you from playing along with him?”

You stare at her, that ringing in your ears coming back. Your stomach lurches, but you genuinely can’t tell if it’s from aversion or excitement.

“I mean, I don’t want to think of my relationship as a game,” you say with slight disgust. She shakes her head.

“Not the relationship, no, but perhaps other things. If you two agree on the rules ahead of time, find a safe way to tap out if need be, what’s to stop you from having fun?”

“What, like kink?” you ask with incredulity. It’s not something you had ever considered for yourself.

“You could call it that, but it doesn't need to be anything so formal. As long as you agree on your boundaries prior.” She looks at you with that penetrating stare again, like she can peer directly into your thoughts. “Can you trust this man?”

You genuinely don't know the answer to this question.

She doesn't let the silence linger for quite as long this time. She continues, “Try it on your own, first. Just fantasy. Give yourself permission to go as dark as you want. Just make sure you have a bottle of wine and a good friend on hand.” You immediately picture a smiley Shadowheart.

There's still something tugging at your mind, though.

“But doesn't it say something about my, like, feminist values if I want to get beat up in the bedroom?” You pick some lint off your sock so you don't need to look at her, but you steal a glance up at her anyway. She’s raising an eyebrow.

“What does it say?” she asks in that tone she uses when she's pushing back on one of your biases. You swallow your instinctive response and really think about an answer.

“I don't know, like I'm a bad feminist or something,” you finally mutter. Jaheira barks out a laugh.

“Please, what, do you think you're going to go to Feminist Thought Jail? That the Feminist Police are going to come and arrest you?” Her tone is snide but it makes you crack a smile nonetheless. She knows that you sometimes need a firm hand to keep your anxiety in line.

“Your homework,” she continues, glancing at the clock, “is to let yourself explore this fantasy, however you want. Whether it's just in your mind, or in writing, you can touch yourself or not, it's up to you.” Your cheeks redden slightly at getting “masturbate” as therapy homework. “Just make sure you're listening to your body. I think she knows what she wants more than that brain of yours.”

You take a deep breath and put your feet on the floor again, slipping your sneakers back on.

“Thanks, Jaheira.”

“You're welcome. It's literally my job. I'll see you next tenday, yeah?”

You nod, slinging your bag over your shoulder. You exit her office, ideas for your “assignment” bouncing around your head.

***

You get back to your apartment and kick off your shoes. You drop your bag and immediately head into the kitchen to pour yourself a drink. There’s absolutely no way you can do this stone cold sober. Your eyes flit between the fridge handle and the wine rack above it. Red or white? The image of Astarion licking your blood off his lips invades your mind.

Red. Obviously. Unfortunately. 

You catch yourself. You don’t need to be so judgmental. You like red, and if it adds to the experience because it makes you think of him, so be it.

Your desire to cringe is potent nevertheless.

You bring the glass into your bedroom and dim the lights in an attempt to set some sort of mood. You pull a candle out of a Bath and Bodyworks bag on your dresser, trying not to think about how much time you spent trying to find one with the right smell. You set the candle and your wine glass on your bedside table. You strike a match and watch as the wick catches light, the flame bobbing around like a chipper little parakeet. 

While staring off into space in the direction of the candle, you take a long, deep sip of wine. After a moment, you lie back on your bed and stare at your ceiling. Echoes of the fire dance across your vision. You take a deep breath, nervous about where you’re about to let your mind wander. 

You conjure up his expression from the night you saw Taming. That snide grin, fangs bared, blood dripping down his chin. You remember him closing his hand around your throat and something deep in your core constricts. You let your hand slide down your front, taking your time, and his words reverberate in your ears.

Little love, do you think you’re in control?

You unbutton your jeans and your hand slips below the waistband of your panties. You dip your middle finger into your slick and let out a shaky breath.

You insolent little brat. I will absolutely ruin you.

The thought brings a voiceless moan to your lips. Your ring finger joins your middle finger and they lazily run along your folds, spreading your wetness. 

Your eyes shoot open – you hadn’t even realized they were closed. You can feel the judgment, the anger, the frustration, all bubbling up inside of you. You take a deep breath, acknowledge it, and let your imagination take over again.

You visualize him smugly peering over his glasses at you, the round wire ones, and he points down to his feet.

On your knees, darling.

His voice in your mind is smooth like velvet, low with just a tinge of threat. You look up at him, your bound hands resting in your lap, a collar around your neck. He holds the leash.

Back in your bedroom, your back arches as you slide your middle finger into your cunt, just barely up to the second knuckle. You whimper at the thought of him pulling the leash tight. Your breath moves high into your chest, making your tits heave with the exertion. You move your other hand to your nipple, gently rolling it between your fingers as another needy moan works its way into your mouth. You savor this one slightly, lending it some of your voice.

The collar is replaced by his hand, his fingers tight on your neck. He pulls up on your jaw, bringing you to an upright position on your knees. He kisses you, rough and hungry, your hands twitching against their cuffs.

You let a second finger join the first inside your cunt, tilting your pelvis to get a better angle. Your jeans constrict your waist, and in a huff you shove them down past your hips and kick them off your feet. Your fingers immediately dive back into you and you groan, thinking about his hand yanking your hair back and exposing your neck to him.

In your fantasy you say something, anything, the words are garbled nonsense in your mind. But he laughs cruelly, a far cry from his high pitched giggle that you love so much.

“Don’t be stupid, darling,” he spits, and your legs fall open to let your fingers in further, the top of your palm coming into contact with your clit. Your hips cant into your hand, your throbbing pussy aching for more friction, more heat. 

“Fuck me, Astarion, make me yours,” you whine instinctually, his name sweet and bitter on your tongue. Your conscious mind recoils – do you want him to call you stupid? You’re already insecure about that as it is.

Fantasy, your subconscious coos. It’s just fantasy. You take a deep breath and give yourself permission to keep going.

He traps your naked body with his, caging you in without a means of escape. His eyes glint with something feral, like a predator, as he buries his nose into your hair. You squirm and moan for him, the line between fantasy and reality blurring. His fangs scrape across your jaw as his words spit rapidfire into your ear.

You precious little thing.

You’re mine, remember?

I shall lock you in a room and keep you all to myself.

You’re going to be wonderfully obedient.

Your fingers slide out of your cunt and you move their ministrations to your clit, rubbing in quick, small circles as his imaginary voice rattles in your brain. Your feet push against the mattress, pressing your hips into your fingers as you desperately chase release. Every part of you aches to be held down by him, his cold hands gripping your wrists as he fucks you senseless. His palm slapped across your mouth to muffle your cries of pleasure. His fangs deep in your neck as his cock thrusts even deeper.

Your hand stutters as it tries to keep pace with your fantasy, yearning to feel every inch of him across your body. Your stomach tightens and your pussy clenches and you come in a crashing wave all over your hand. You continue stroking yourself through the end of your climax, eventually succumbing to stillness. The only sensations you feel are the slowing throb in your cunt and your breath wracking through your lungs. 

You let your hand linger in the sticky mess between your legs, turning your head to face the flickering orange light from the candle. 

What do you want?

You’re very good at asking me that. I’m not sure you’re good at answering it yourself.

So… what do you want?

[phoxey]

French toast

Bada Lee x fem!reader

CW: none :3 this is pure fluff

AN: sorry for the long absence, and sorry that this is so short, but i promised a comeback, I am still struggling to write, but it's better than nothing.

I love writing, but like in any relationships there are ups and downs. and in such down phases love is hard work. But it's worth it in the end.

Valentines Day was approaching, and this would be the first time, that you wouldn’t spend the day with Bada. You two have been a couple for a few years now and she would always make Valentines Day special. This year Bada happened to be in a dance workshop on the other side of the world for a few weeks, missing Valentines Day. You tried to talk to her every day, but time zones were against you. When she was going to bed, you were waking up, and when you were going to bed, she was waking up. You only had a small timeframe for talking, and her schedule was tight. She thought you wouldn’t notice, but she woke up earlier and stayed up late just to talk to you. You wanted to scold her for it, but on the other hand you were also grateful for every minute you got with her.

You woke up to several messages from Bada, which she sent, when she knew it was midnight in Korea. It was some silly memes, asking you out to be her valentine, but with them came a long voice message.

“Good morning, beautiful. I hope you had the most wonderful sleep and the sweetest dreams. Maybe you even dreamt of us? I know, I always do. Especially when we are apart like this. I dream of holding you in my arms, your head on my chest, while we watch our favorite shows. It’s cheesy, I know. I really can’t wait for this moment to come. I will probably be at work when you listen to this. And everything I am about to say, I could have also written in a letter, but I wanted to say those things directly, so you can hear the sincerity in my voice. I want to tell you, how I feel. I am so very madly in love with you, it drives me crazy to not be with you for every minute of the day. Every day my love for you grows. How that is possible? I don’t know. Every day I seem to invent a new kind of infinity. I have been looking at your pictures a lot more these past few days, and since day one your beauty keeps striking me over and over again. I know you still can’t see what I see, but I swear to me you are the most beautiful woman on earth. I wish I could kiss every spot you are insecure about and make that feeling go away. I love all of you. You are truly beautiful inside and out. You are just perfect for me. To have such a kind, hardworking and understanding woman in my life, and to be able to call you mine, is truly the greatest blessing I have ever received. I love you.”

From the first word on, tears shot into your eyes. You were too overwhelmed to form a coherent thought. Just as you were trying to formulate a good answer, the doorbell rang. Confused, you walked to the apartment door and opened it. A giant bouquet of your favorite flowers stood in a vase on the ground. It was arranged in the form of a heart. You had to chuckle, this was so cheesy, but that was what you loved about your girlfriend. She always did and say cheesy things, but somehow it was never cringe.

“I see I am arriving in time.”, a familiar voice said.

You looked to the side and saw Lusher and Tatter walking up to your door, both of the carrying a suspicious number of bags.

“Good morning!”, you smiled. “What are you two doing here?”

Lusher and Tatter were grinning at each other for a moment. “We are playing Cupid.”, Tatter answered.

Inside, you put the bouquet on the dining table, as the girls sat down in the living room. You joined them after a moment, bringing them coffee.

You eyed the bags; your heart was racing.

“So!”, Lusher began, and Tatter got her phone out, to begin filming. “Your special someone instructed us to give you your Valentines Day presents. She is very sorry that she can’t be with you right now, but she still wants to make sure you are being spoiled on this special day. Like you deserve.”

You opened the first bag, inside was a shoebox. You recognized immediately what kind of shoes they were. The Nike Jordan 1s you had been wanting for a while now. You took them out to look at them. Suddenly something fell out of them. It was a polaroid photo. It was a mirror selfie of Bada pointing at her feet. She was wearing the same shoes.

The second bag was bigger but softer. Slowly you pulled out, what was inside. It was two pieces of clothing. Firstly, it was one of Badas pants, you always stole, when she made the mistake of wearing them to your apartment. The second item was one of her oversized hoodies. It even smelled like her parfum.

Speaking of it, the last bag was a little smaller. Inside were two things. One you recognized as your favorite parfum, which Bada also loved on you. Whenever you wore it, she stayed at your side, not leaving you for longer than one minute. But there was also a second parfum bottle. You sprayed it on your wrist and immediately the smell of Bada filled your nose. It was her parfum. Smelling it almost made you tear up. You missed her so much. Maybe spraying this onto her hoodie and your pillow would ease the pain of her not being with you finally.

With each present your smile got bigger and your giggles more frequent. Tatter smiled just as wide as she filmed your reaction.

“Do you like it?”

You spun around and there she was. Her tall frame leaning against the wall with her shoulder. Hands in her pockets. She wore her finest dress shirt and tie. She looked so beautiful. Tears welled up in your eyes as you ran into her arms.

“Happy Valentines Day, baby.”, she whispered and kissed on top of your head, as you buried your face in her neck, sobbing.

“I thought you couldn’t come for another week.”, you muttered against the skin of her neck, placing delicate kisses onto her pulse.

“I wanted to surprise you. Did you really think I can spend Valentines Day without my forever Valentine?”

Bada mouthed a thank you to the two other girls, who just winked at her and left the apartment, grinning.

“We have so much to talk about! I have so much tea for you! And you have to tell me all about your trip and your workshop!”, you said excitedly.

Bada smiled fondly at you and laced your fingers. Tenderly, she pressed her lips to your knuckles.

“Sounds good. How about we talk, while I make some French toast?”

[fxlling13]

505

Dhawan!master x (fem) reader

Synopsis: you and The Master find yourselves growing closer when he agrees to try therapy with The Doctor again. However, Yaz can’t let go of the past.

Warnings: sexual harassment. Harsh words. Death. Yaz is really mean and annoying. Out of character master. Injury and blood. Allusions to smut but no detail.

WC:19.1k

“But I crumble completely when you cry…”

Over an hour, it had been over an hour since The Doctor had taken The Master (kicking and screaming) out of the room with her. It may have seemed impossible at one point but, somehow, you and yaz found yourselves bored. Sitting in the console room of the doctors fluorescent tardis, you were bored.

“Are they not done yet?” Yaz groaned, giving up on scrolling through her phone. Even though it had to be done, the time was dragging. Giving the girl a short shrug, you spoke,

“The Doctor does tend to waffle.” You both laughed.

“True. But it’s cute.” Yaz grinned, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

“I think you may be a bit biased of your girlfriend.”

“Also true.” She replied proudly, making you scoff half heartedly. Again it went silent, as you both waited for the aliens to return with little patience. Though, you knew what was happening was very important. And something you secretly wanted to work out. After a very scary and dramatic encounter with The Master, seeing him become her, finally seeing what it was he needed, she had formulated a plan. One that, at first, yaz was completely against. She wanted to bring him on board, as a form of therapy. This plan included convincing him to stay on board, allowing her to store his tardis within the depths of his own, taking away all his ‘evil’ tech, and giving him a firm talking to about his behaviour. Plus a lot more that was far too deep to get into. Yaz said that he would reject the idea, teleport right out of there and try to kill them once again. However, to everyone’s surprise, he did not do that. Instead, he sat in his med-bay bed, a deep scowl etched on his features.

———

“I have just one request. If I were to try this silly idea.” He grumbled, making The Doctor stand straight.

“And what’s that?” She enquired. You had Yaz stood at the back of the room, observing the whole conversation. She was apprehensive, nails half bitten off. You just focused on the male mostly, hoping for the best.

“I don’t want it to be like last time. You keeping me cooped up. If I do this, take me with you. Let me be involved and I’ll promise to try. Properly try.” The Master was serious with his words, sincerity in his tone. In front of him, the blonde pursed her lips in thought but eventually exhaled slowly.

“I suppose that’s only fair. Yes. Yes that can happen. As long as you help to make sure Yaz and (y/n) are safe on our outings?” Her eyes narrowed at him, really testing him and trying to push at his buttons.

“I can do that.” He said instantly, turning his head and locking eyes with you. Surprised, you smiled at him softly, hoping it would really reach him.

“Good, well once you’ve recovered we can get started on the process!” The Doctor cheered, clasping her hands together before ushering everyone out.

A few days later, you sat in your room. The tardis was in “night mode”. Something The Doctor had set up a while back to help everyone have a healthy sleeping pattern. Though, all you could think about was how The Master had been left, almost, entirely alone for three days. The Doctor had instructed you both to leave him alone, let him rest and his body heal itself. You imagined that she would be driving the man even more insane, and you wanted to check up on him, for some reason. So, against her word, you snuck down the metallic corridors until you found the med bay. Perhaps he’d be asleep? Or maybe even have escaped by then. Cracking the door open, you peeked in and saw him, sat up in bed holding a worn out book. You took a deep breath before slipping into the room quietly. Did you announce yourself? What did you even say? You had no reason to be there.

“Up late. Aren’t we (y/n)?” He spoke calmly, without even looking up from his book.

“How did you know it was me?” You asked timidly, watching him put the book aside. The Master looked at you, making you feel self conscious in your choice of nightware.

“I always know when it’s you, dear.” Blushing, you pulled at the bottom of your hoodie slightly.

“I didn’t mean to bother you I was just-“

“Curious?” He cut in, gaze fixated on you, as if analysing you.

“Well I was actually going to say worried. I know that being with The Doctor for three days, having her rant at you must be draining. But yeah, you can say I was curious too I suppose.” Replying, you played with your fingers, eyes wandering around the room. It was dimly lit by a few overhead lights, three beds and many cupboards fully stocked with medicine. The Master was taken aback by your honesty, not expecting anyone to worry for him. He cleared his throat to gain your attention once again.

“You can come closer you know, I won’t hurt you.” Taking a few steps forward, you tilted your head.

“Won’t? Or can’t?” You half joked, taking a seat on the chair beside him.

“I won’t. You know I won’t.” He said in all seriousness, giving you a pointed look. Of course, he was correct. In all the run ins you’d had, you’d never been hurt. The first time, he timed things so you wouldn’t get on that trap of a plane. The next he forced you into following him to Gallifrey with The Doctor, keeping you to the side as he imprisoned her. And every time after that, you were always off to the side. Only last time things went a little wrong.

“You’re correct, I fear my ears have begun to shrivel from The Doctors lectures.” His monotone voice made you giggle, knowing that he was of course just joking. Playing along, you looked and nod.

“Looks like it.” He just rolled his eyes playfully and sighed adjusting his pillows.

“What were you reading?”

“Oh, an ancient book from when I was young. I’ve actually read it many times. Close to a hundred.” Carefully, you picked it up and looked at its scratched cover. Galifreyan writing was beautiful but could never be translated.

“I can read it to you one day if you’d like? I imagine I’m going to have a lot of free time now.” The Master suggested nonchalantly, but you couldn’t help but to smile.

“I’d like that.” Putting it down again, you pulled your knees up and hugged them tightly. It was cold in there.

“What kept you up, hm? Surely not just worrying about little old me.” He teased. You scoffed, pulling the grey hood over your head.

“You wish. I just don’t sleep well, I sometimes don’t sleep much at all.”

“That can’t be good for you, you need your energy to run from whatever danger she puts you through.” His brows were knit together closely, taking more notice of your dark circles and low voice.

“Yeah but, I pull through. I just run at the back. Or let The Doctor hold my hand.” Giving a little shrug, you missed the way the males eye twitched.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He muttered, frowning after a moment.

“You’re cold.” His statement made you look to him. Not knowing what else to say, you just stood up.

“I guess I’ll go. Down want to bother you anymore than I already have.” Before you could turn away, The Master reached out and grabbed your wrist. Wincing, you looked back confused.

“You can stay, if you’d like? You’re not bothering me.” Shocked at his honestly, you bobbed your head slowly, allowing the man to guide you and sit you down on the edge of the bed.

“I suppose I already broke The Doctors rule anyway…” pushing up your sleeve, The Master scowled at the long cut that sat unattended.

“She didn’t dress it?”

“Well you did regenerate twice then proceed to get crushed by a giant rock.” You pointed out bluntly, not thinking much of it.

“Yes. But my body can heal itself like magic. Yours cannot.” The Master got up, walking over to the cupboards and grabbing a small bag.

“You’re not supposed to get up.”

“(Y/n) I healed days ago. Now let me wrap that. It’s my fault you got hurt in the first place.” Sensing some remorse. You simpered as he sat back with you and took hold of your arm. Wasting no time, he cleaned the wound of dried blood before looking more closely.

“It needs a stitch.” He let out, reaching back for the items needed. You chewed on your lip anxiously, eyes darting to follow his every move. Taking notice, he sat straight.

“It won’t hurt, I promise. See this?” He held up a spray bottle, then shook it slightly before spraying over the cut. Your arm began to feel like jelly. Quickly. He got to work and stitched up the top of the cut, wrapping it securely. You felt nothing.

“I’ll change the bandage for you tomorrow. Take this, it fights off infection.” In his hand sat a small white pill. Deciding to trust him, you took it gratefully.

“Why are you being nice to me? Surely your therapy isn’t working that fast.” He chuckled at your question, settling back into bed.

“No of course it isn’t. But I am trying. For everyone’s sake. The only reason I’m in the med bay is because The Doctor is running around, making sure my tardis and all my belongings are locked away.”

“But..I’d assume your TCE would be in your jacket..no?” You wondered, looking at said coat hung up across the room.

“You’re right. It’s still there. Go see for yourself.” Going over, you routed through his pockets, finding a lot more than just one device.

“You could have killed me by now.”

“But I’m not going to kill you (y/n). You can choose to be wary. I understand.” He almost sounded sad. If he was lying, he was beyond convincing. Your eyes suddenly felt very heavy, along with your limbs becoming tingly.

“Come here, love. You look tired.” The Master beckoned you over with his arms agape. It really did look inviting, and you found yourself going to him almost immediately. Helping you onto the bed, The Master pulled you next to him.

“ ‘was fine a minute ago…” you barely mumbled out, subconsciously shuffling closer to the man for warmth.

“It must have just caught up with you hm?” The realisation dawned on you, where you were.

“Can’t sleep…Doctor will be mad..” feeling a hand land on your head, The Master ran his fingers through your hair tenderly.

“Don’t worry about that. Rest for now.”

The next thing you knew, you were waking up in your own bed. Thoroughly confused, you got yourself dressed and quickly headed into the console room. Stopping dead in your tracks, your eyes met with his once again.

“Ah, (y/n) you’ve never slept in this late before!” The Doctor beamed, bounding over to you.

“As of today The Master will be hanging around, I let yaz know earlier.” You just nod, looking around for her.

“She left in a sulk, didn’t she Doctor?” The Master chortled, leaning back against one of the pillars. Huffing, the blonde shook her head.

“She’ll come round to it soon. I’m going to have a talk with her now actually. Will you be ok (y/n)?” She looked at you dourly, leaving you puzzled

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You crossed your arms, as she relaxed slightly before heading off.

“She was asking if you’d be okay alone, with me.” The Master let you know, slowly striding over to you. Now understanding, you let out a small ‘oh’ before focusing back on him.

“How did I end up back in my bed?”

“I put you there.” He stated plainly, idly scratching at his stubble.

“You..carried me?” Starting to feel slightly embarrassed, he just smiled.

“Of course. Though I must say, you’re very clingy in your sleep. It took a while to get you to let go of me.” The tone of his voice caused your cheeks to turn red, heat flushing over you.

“God, I’m so sorry.” You were quick to apologise, hands coming up to cover your face.

“For what?” Perplexed, he stood directly in front of you but you didn’t dare to move. Tutting, The Master gently tugged your hands away from your face, holding them.

“For being clingy…even if I was asleep. And I’m sorry you had to carry me when you’re recovering. I’m sorry I went into your room an-“ in a second, he placed his finger to your lips, effectively making you stop.

“Hush.” Though the word was hard, his voice was not and you just nod as he lowered his hand to hold your own again.

“None of that was an inconvenience to me, (y/n). I welcomed your company with open arms. I didn’t mind helping you sleep, or taking you to bed. Not at all. You should relax. I’m here for a long time, I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.” You blinked several times, letting what he says sink in. He welcomed your company. He didn’t mind. You knew he could by lying, but he seemed really genuine.

“I’m guessing you sent me to sleep too?”

“I did. For twelve whole hours. Don’t you feel better though?” He smirked, letting go of your hands. It left you feeling cold and you had to stop yourself from complaining.

“I do. Thank you.” You gave a half smile, hugging yourself slightly.

“Did The Doctor confiscate your weapons?”

“Of course she did, though she was happy I hadn’t shrunk anyone. She should feel lucky. All that rambling she did. And I’ve got more to come. Now if she were pocket size…” he trailed off with a thoughtful look and you laughed.

“You wouldn’t, who else would you chase and bully through the universe huh?” This time, he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Very true. I suppose I’ll put up with her for now. I’m actually curious about your outings. I want to experience that.” As he spoke, you took a seat on the steps, hugging your knees close.

“It’s a lot of running you know. Like a lot.”

“Yes I gathered. But don’t worry, I’ll help you keep up.” Even though you didn’t know what he meant, it didn’t sound very malicious.

“Speaking of, is there somewhere you want to go? Or does her girlfriend always get to choose?” It hardly surprised you when the brunette took a seat beside you.

“Yeah I guess Yaz does choose mostly…The Doctor does favour her.” You said, thinking it to be a little funny. But he wasn’t laughing.

“You don’t say. She left you with a gaping wound for almost four days. Stupid woman.” Taking a deep breath, The Master relaxed himself before turning to you.

“So where would you pick?” A million and one ideas ran through your head.

“Maybe, a new planet. With a proper civilisation. I’d love to wonder around an alien city. Just to see how they live day to day. I think it’s a bit boring for The Doctors taste though.” You responded wholeheartedly. The Master watched you talk fondly, admiring the way your eyes seemed to light up at the idea.

“I think it sounds great. I’d definitely take you if I could. I know just the planet.” Your eyes shot to him, lips twitching upward.

“Maybe one day you can?” The look in your eye made The Masters hearts beat at an unusual pace. It was so bright and pure, how could The Doctor not see it?

“If you’d let me, I definitely will.”

“Of course I would! I trust you.” You stated, smiling widely. He swallowed thickly, feeling his chest swell. Was it, emotion? Good, happy emotions? Just then, The Doctor returned with Yaz. The latter of which seemed startled at how close you were to the new addition. She went to speak but The Doctor put her hand up.

“It’s fine Yaz. They’re just talking, it’s a good thing.”

You found that over the next couple of days, he tended to stay close to you. Not that you minded, you really enjoyed his company. It was so refreshing. The way that he would sit up with you in the library, reading and discussing random things. Or eating breakfast together. He even stayed at night sometimes until you fell asleep. Everything you were grateful for, it made you look forward to your next adventure.

———

And that’s how you found yourself, sat with Yaz and waiting for the aliens to return. The last step before he was allowed out. She had to make sure he was weapon free, and discuss his explosive habits. You just wanted him there for the company, getting fed up of being the third wheel.

“She’s really drilling him isn’t she?”

“Probably. It’s all she’s been doing.” You mumbled back, resting your head on a higher step.

“I suppose he deserves it after everything.” To that, you didn’t respond. You knew what she was saying, but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d been so kind to you.

“Right gang!” The Doctors loud voice met your ears and you flinched. Looking up, you found that the pair had returned.

“All done. So we can be off.” She went to the console, getting ready to set a course. The Master slipped on his jacket, wandering round until he was stood by you.

“Yaz I overheard you say something about the sea. So I was thinking we could go to this water based planet. It’s filled with hundreds of fish aliens. Every two hundred years they hold a festival. We can go there.” The Doctor rambled, punching in some numbers before pulling some levers. Beside you, the man furrowed his brows, knowing full well which planet she meant.

“Aren’t they hostile to humanoids?” He remembered folding his arms. She just looked at him.

“Not if we behave. Didn’t think that would bother you.”

“I am trying you know.” He rolled his eyes, masking his true thoughts behind her plan. Soon enough, the tardis landed and The Doctor head out with Yaz in hand. You followed behind, coming out to find a busy street, so full it was almost overflowing. She wasn’t wrong, every person looked like some form of fish. One man even had a sharks head. There were decorations hung up, stalls and booths of party materials and gifts. Yaz gleamed, holding the blondes hand and kissing her cheek repeatedly.

“God they’re sickly. How do you put up with it?” The Master shivered, looking away from the women. You shrugged, looking around at all the streamers.

“I got used to it a long time ago.” There was a hint of sadness in your response that The Master didn’t miss. his hand found purchase on your lower back, rubbing it in comfort.

“At least you’re not alone now hm?” For a moment, you stared at him. But he was right, you really didn’t feel alone with him beside you. Slowly, you began to really smile and The Master felt proud.

“Let’s explore shall we, if I walk off I’m sure she’ll follow” He was correct, The Doctor scrambling to follow him as he head off down a street. It was kind of funny to watch as she scolded him within the first five minutes. The Master just stood there letting her rant.

“She has so much patience doesn’t she?” Yaz admired, a subtle glare being sent his way.

“I was thinking the same thing about him.” You admitted, making the girl gape at you. Giving her a shrug you spoke,

“Yaz he’s literally harmless right now. He’s got nothing. I know he’s a master manipulator but he said he’d try. So let’s just assume he’s telling the truth.” Yaz just sighed, choosing to stay quiet. It was clear she wasn’t on the same page but you didn’t mind.

“I won’t walk off again. I swear on both my hearts, just please stop kissing.” The Master argued with The Doctor, leaving her highly embarrassed. Yaz too was blushing now and you just laughed.

“Right. Whatever. Let’s just enjoy the festival ok?” The Doctor said, taking Yaz and starting to walk again. Snickering, The Master glanced over at you and held out his hand. Moving closer, you approached with a small smile.

“Are you sure? I know you’re really trying to fit in but you don’t have to hold my hand.” However, you really wanted him to do so but tried not to seem that way.

“I know I don’t. But I want to. How else will you keep up with us running?” He said in jest, reaching forward and taking your hand in his.

“Plus, if you’re here I can keep you safe.” Your cheeks flushed over, smiling shyly and linking your fingers securely. He chuckled, carefully pulling you along the road.

“How are they breathing?” You asked curiously, realising that the fish were too walking around dry land.

“Think like, turtles and wales. They can survive in both terrains. Like that but more complicated. Some have tanks on their heads. Some have air holes. Some have the ability to adapt.” He explained well, looking over some chrome shaded shells. They were very pretty, different shapes and sizes. Glancing around, The Doctor was nowhere in sight.

“You really expected her to follow her own instructions?” The Master dawdled, moving along to the next stall. Keeping close to him, you just huffed a little.

“Not really, but still. If you weren’t here then I’d have been left on my own remember.” His grip on you tightened, pulling you to his side.

“But I’m here now. And while I am, you’re not going to be on your own. Come on, let’s find her before she has another hissy fit.” He reassured before taking off to look for his fellow time lord. Meanwhile, you felt yourself blushing once again, grinning to yourself like an idiot.

You both looked for over thirty minutes, the girls were nowhere to be found. Also, you noticed some of the locals giving you less than pleasant looks.

“God this is ridiculous. I agreed to her silly little plan and she just vanishes. What is she doing?”

“I don’t think we want to know, Master.” You muttered, earning a surprise laugh from the man. He smiled down at you with a subtle warmth to his features.

“Very true. Let’s find a place to sit hm? I’ll figure something out.” Liking his idea, you followed him to a stall with a few seats outside. He pulled out a chair for you, taking a seat opposite.

“Don’t try any of the drinks. You’ll get sick.” The Master told you, resting his elbows on the table. It was getting busier, the alien sky growing dull. A man, or what you assumed to be a man, walked by with a grimace. A few others were staring over with disgust.

“Why are they looking at us like that?” Your voice was timid, trying to avoid any unwanted attention. He scoured the area, clicking his tongue in annoyance.

“Like I said, the creatures here do not like humanoids. It baffles me that she still proceeds to bring her companions to places like this.” Realising your discomfort, The Master placed his hand on your arm.

“Hey, just focus on me.” Trying to do as he said, you hummed and kept your eyes on him.

“What if they went back to the tardis?” You thought out loud. The Master pursed his lips ever so slightly.

“Maybe. But what would be the point of that?” For a while, the two of you sat there talking. Mostly it was you listening actually, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his stories, his adventures, even if some were slightly deranged. Even so, you stayed invested the whole time. Furthermore, The Master loved how you engaged with him, asking questions repeatedly until you could understand better. He could hardly remember the last time someone spent so much time with him.

“Why can’t I have the drinks here?”

“Well because, some are made from worms. Some have toxins in them. Some would send you straight to sleep. And others would…” The Master trailed off, like he didn’t even want to finish what he was saying. You knew though.

“It could kill me huh?”

“Yeah. So let’s stay away from them ok?” He urged, his concern making you smile. Giving him a nod, it was almost comical watching him relax. The people around you were very loud. A mixture of high and low voices. Some arguing, some cheering. It was a little overstimulating but something you had grown to know. Scanning around, something caught ahold of The Masters attention. Something that made his eyes narrow darkly.

“I say we just head back to the tardis. The Doctor would rather me be there.” The Master decided, standing up suddenly. Before you could say anything, he helped you up and began walking back from where you had come. He sounded serious.

“Is everything ok? Did I do something?” Worried that you had bored the man, you rushed to keep up with him. He just looked down at you confused.

“No, not at all. I just figured it would be the best thing to do. The festivities are really kicking off and we’ll get caught up in it.” He was half honest, turning back and continuing down the path. The street lights came to life, the locals roaring in joy. All at once, hoards of people gathered in the street and started to follow a parade float down the way. None of them seemed to care for social awareness, shoulders pressed together and screaming at each other. Out of nowhere, a couple came barging into you, sending you tumbling back. When you looked up, The Master was gone from your view. You felt your heart drop and got yourself up quickly. There was no clear route back to the tardis, the way was blocked by the parade. Remaining calm, you swallowed thickly and began to tangle your way through the crowds. It was hot, sticky and you felt as though you could hardly breathe. Before long, a creature spotted you and used his pointed fin to practically smack you out of the way. Your side hit a jagged wall harshly.

“Get away earthling!” A few others laughed before carrying on with their celebrations. Blinking back tears of frustration, you stayed against the wall as you walked, trying to just blend in and get through the crowd.

“Excuse me.” A grainy voice caught your attention at the end of the first street. Just one more to go and you’d find the tardis. To your left was a small shop with an open window. Just outside stood a tall man, face resembling a hairy frogfish. It was grotesque looking too, as though he cared very little for his looks.

“You look worn out, care for a drink?” Turning back to the window, the man produced a glass of pink liquid. Bubbles formed at the stop of the glass, a fizz to it. Remembering The Masters words, you were quick to shake your head.

“No thank you.” Perhaps the creature didn’t know how it could affect you, but something was keeping you on high alert.

“No? You’re too good for my drink? Just because you’re human?” It stepped forward, eyes filled with anger.

“No it could kill me…” you tried to reason but the thing just laughed mockingly, putting the glass down with a thud.

“I must say. For a human, you’re very alluring. Different…” something that resembled a tongue slipped out past its lips. You suddenly felt very cold, moving backwards.

“I bet you’d do so well…” It saw you as a new thing to use and play with. In a second, he was in your face, a webbed hand gripping your face forcefully. The other dragged down your side and groping your hip so hard it hurt.

“So small as well. So frail. I could break you…” the smell of his breath, along with his disgusting words made you feel sick. Your stomach churned. In a moment of desperation, you brought your knee up to hit him right between the legs. The creature groaned in pain, releasing you from his hold. You wasted no time in turning and bolting through the street. Ignoring everyone, you barged through with no other thought in your head, just get away from him. You took a sharp turn into a side street, hunching against the wall and inhaling far too quickly.

Worried wasn’t the correct word. No. Right then, The Master felt concern he didn’t know he could even muster up. Going back to the tardis wasn’t even in his mind anymore. That stupid heard of fish that cut you off were lucky that he had no way to harm them. He just had to find you as soon as possible. But how? The place was packed out, making it hard to move. Even so, he pushed through and shouted out your name repeatedly. The locals were shouting back, trying to push him out but The Master just shoved them back. He really didn’t have time for them. It wasn’t safe for you to be alone. Growing more and more frustrated, he sauntered over to a stall and slammed his hand down on the table.

“Have you seen a young, human, female?” The darkness on his voice put the fish lady on edge. She gawked at him for a moment before nodding.

“Well yes actually. I saw one talking to the lovely man who owns the bar over there.” For once he was grateful the creature was talkative and turned to see the bar. He ran across, looking around everywhere. But you weren’t there, all he saw was a door slamming shut. Deciding to pay no notice, he carried on, coming to a slight dip in the pavement. The relief he felt in his hearts should have worried him, but that didn’t matter when he took a peek down a side street. You were sat against the wall, chest heaving as you tried to calm yourself. He could instantly see a scratch on your cheek and rushed to your side.

“(Y/n)?” You jumped in shock, but quickly settled down upon seeing him crouched beside you. More tears filled your (e/c) eyes, your breathing still erratic. Tentatively he placed his hands on your shoulders, bringing you closer.

“Breathe with me ok?” you nod, doing your best to follow his lead but you couldn’t stop yourself from being scared.

“(Y/n) you need to try-“

“No no he’s going to find me.” You cut in frantically, looking past him to see the end of the alley. The Master tensed up, hearing the fear in your voice.

“Who?”

“The- the man. He offered me a drink and I s-said no like you told me, but he g-got angry. He was touching my s-side and my face and-“ you took in a sharp breath, trying to collect yourself even a little. “-and he said I was..small and alluring. That I’d be good..that he could break me…” as tears spilled down your cheeks, The Master felt his blood boil. He was seething, wanting nothing more than to find that man and rip him in two. The idea of someone touching you almost made him snap.

“I’m going to kill him.” His teeth grit together as he went to stand.

“No please don’t leave me please!” You cried out in a panic, grabbing onto his hand desperately. The Master was grounded almost immediately, ducking back down and pulling you into his embrace. Winding your arms around his neck, you cried into his chest. He let out a breath, rubbing your back in effort to sooth your trembling figure.

“I’m not going anywhere I promise. Let’s get you back to the tardis ok? Get you warm and where I know that disgusting thing can’t get to you.” He spat the last part, easily lifting you and starting the short walk back to the ship. Though you didn’t say anything, you kept a firm hold on the man and he knew you were listening to him. Stepping inside the ship, it was vacant, which he was glad to see. Whatever The Doctor and Yaz were doing, wasn’t his priority. You were. He took you through the ship to a room you didn’t recognise. A bedroom. Reluctantly, The Master placed you down on the bed and took a step back. Seeing your exhausted face left a bitter taste in his mouth and he hated it.

“Is this your room?” You asked, looking around the dark room and taking it in. The sheets were soft, black plaid, the bed frame made of mahogany. Around the space there were matching drawers and a desk that had piles of books. On the back wall was a lit fireplace, giving the room a subtle glow. It was also quite neat.

“Yes. The Doctor let me have a say in it. Do you like it?” The Master knew you did, he could always read you so well. Nevertheless, you nod a bit, rubbing your face harshly.

“It’s cosy.” Disliking how down you sounded, he moving to quickly find you some fresh clothes. A pair of plush pyjamas were provided to him by the security ship. Leaving you to get changed, he made his way to the kitchen getting a glass of water and something small for you to eat. It didn’t take long and once he returned, he saw you sat back against the pillows.

“I brought you these.” Gazing up, you watched as he set the items on the table beside you gratefully.

“Thank you.” You sipped on the water, soothing your dry throat. After hanging his jacket up, The Master took his place next to you on the bed. You dropped your head onto his shoulder, nibbling on one of the biscuits he’d brought you.

“Thank you for finding me..and for carrying me. It won’t happen again.”

“Don’t apologise. I couldn’t just leave you.” The softness of his voice was nice, making you feel less like a nuisance.

“Is The Doctor still not here?” Placing the empty glass down, you looked at him to see his head shaking. You just wanted her to fly far away from there, but of course she was always preoccupied.

“I wanna leave.” You whispered, feeling ashamed for how much that short interaction had affected you. Lifting his hand, The Master wiped your cheeks dry tenderly.

“I know you do sweet girl, I’ll make sure we do as soon as she’s back.” That somewhat settled your anxiety, tiredness creeping in slowly. Almost shamefully, you looked at him longingly, wanting to feel that safety once again. It would be so needy, so pathetic. More to the point, why would he do something like that? Perhaps there was a chance, yet you felt as though it would make you seem even weaker. Did that really matter?

“Can I-“

“You don’t have to ask love.” Without question, The Master slipped an arm around you, bringing you to lay flush to his side. The way your whole body eased up was instant, head resting against his chest easily. You allowed your eyes to close, curling into the man the second he allowed it. Seeing you fall asleep in his arms, The Master knew he was already too far gone.

———

In a fit of laughter, The Doctor and Yaz returned to the tardis hours later. They were arm in arm, brightly coloured leis around their necks. The younger even had a funny looking hat sat on her head. Not expecting it, they were surprised to find The Master sat on the stairs. His hands were clasped together firmly, anger still apparent in his eyes. But The Doctor knew something was wrong.

“What happened?”

“After you two ran off? Nothing at first. Then there was an incident but it’s fine. We just need to leave here right now.” even though he sounded urgent, the girls were apprehensive. Yaz folded her arms.

“And why is that? We had fun out there.” It took everything inside of him for The Master to not lash out. Instead, he looked at her slowly before standing.

“Yes. You two had so much fun. You’ve been gone for six hours. You both just left. I said I would agree to your rules, Doctor. Yet you’re the one being careless?” He scoffed, coming to stand in front of them. She knew it was true and hung her head in shame.

“Fly away. Now.” For once, The Doctor actually listened to him and sent the ship away into orbit. Even though he had left you sound asleep, The Master yearned to rush right back.

“What happened? Why are you so worked up?” Yaz was obviously confused, leaning back against the console. Only then did The Doctor realise something, her eyes shooting around.

“Where’s (y/n)?”

“Asleep. She’s asleep, let her rest.” He replied sternly.

“What happened to her?” The Doctor asked impatiently, now completely alert. Yet all the man did was glare.

“So now you care huh? You left her alone with me, when I’m supposed to be here to learn from you. You’re lucky I li-“ stopping himself from saying too much, The Master took in a deep breath and cracked his neck.

“One of the locals didn’t act too kindly towards her, let’s just say that. But I brought her back here. She’s not hurt. She’s fine now.” The Doctor let out a sigh of relief hearing this, putting her hands together almost in a prayer.

“Thank you.”

“Yes well, I said I’d follow your rules and regulations..” brushing it off, The Master just shrugged. Seeing right through this, the blonde gave a shallow smile.

“You’d have done that regardless.” She pointed out, lifting herself to sit on the console. Yaz, still confused, looked between the pair. Accepting defeat, The Master groaned and let his head hit the pillar behind him.

“Only for her. Not so sure about your little pet.” This comment set Yaz off, he could sense her outburst coming a mile away.

“I’m her girlfriend!”

“My condolences.” The Master said to her sadly, leaving the girl practically steaming. Before she could retaliate, The Doctor took hold of her hand.

“Ok, relax everyone. What’s important is that everyone is okay. I admit, I was careless today and in future I won’t do that.” The pair made eye contact, he could see the remorse there and decided to let it go for now. Moving away from the pillar, the master moved towards the steps again.

“I’m heading back to my room, don’t be up all night kids.” For the first time, something he said made Yaz laugh. Simpering, The Doctor nod.

“Look after her.”

“You know I will.” With his signature grin, The Master left to his room once more. You were still asleep thankfully, making it easy for him to slip in beside you. Instinctively, you shuffled closer and wrapped yourself around the timelord. He reciprocated this, holding you close and closing his eyes too.

———

Waking up in his arms the first time was an experience. Shocking you so much that you fell out of his bed. You were also so apologetic, saying sorry so much that The Master told you he was going to remove the word from your memory. Eventually, you came to realise that he really didn’t seem to mind. So, you began to let yourself indulge in that. Seeing how much you could get away with. It started small, with continuing to hold his hand when you went out on your adventures. The Master was easily ticked off, getting irked over the tiniest thing. Especially people with bad manners and attitude. Once, whilst he was telling you about the time he blew up an ancient sun god, you cut in with a very dry, sarcastic comment. “Wow, you actually do have plans that work out then?” You said, smiling mischievously. Thinking it would get you shouted at, you blushed when the man just gave you a firm look. Anyone else, he would have put them in there place. But not you. Then you began to spend even more time with him on the tardis. He even read you that book that he mentioned. You were so happy and it was obvious to everyone around you. Especially The Doctor. At first, it made her anxious. She thought that he had manipulated you, maybe even hypnotised you into being his loyal, little human. That was until she caught sight of the two of you in the library.

“So to chart the stars in a more..easy way you can-“

“Are you saying I’m dumb?” You pouted, not letting him finish. Sitting snug to his side, your legs were over his lap. The Master was wearing his round glasses, one hand on your thigh, the other holding a small sky chart.

“No, I’m just saying you have to learn. It’s a very precise job. In your time even your top astrophysicists can only do the bare minimum. I’m going to teach you properly.” He chuckled before continuing with his demonstration, your focus fully on him. From the door, The Doctor felt hope in her hearts, seeing her childhood friend seem so at peace. She knew she could trust him to look after you.

———

“See you both on Friday!” The Doctor gave Yaz a hug and kiss, before waving you off as well. You looked around for a second before saying goodbye and heading out with Yaz. Every so often you’d both return home for a week, to see family and such. You didn’t really want to go but you did regardless. The Doctor flicked a few levers before walking into The Masters room. He was sat at his desk, papers surrounding him as he inked up a journal.

“I see you still have that unnecessarily neat handwriting then?”

“You say unnecessary. I say, precise. Unlike you I can re-read my notes without having to squint.” He shot back, not looking up from his work. She just hummed, coming to lean on the wall by the desk.

“You didn’t say goodbye.” The Doctor pointed out, noticing the way he paused for a second.

“Well they’ll be back so, there was no need.”

“I think (y/n) wanted to say bye to you though.” He didn’t say anything, just continued to write down whatever it was that had his attention. Sticking out her bottom lip in thought, the doc sighed a little.

“She looked for you.” That made him stop. Sitting straight, he looked up at her with an unreadable expression.

“She did?” He asked, putting his quill down on its cushion. Nodding, she pushed some things aside and perched on the edge of his desk.

“I notice that you’ve become quite close.” Again he remained silent, just looking at her blankly.

“It’s good. It’s good to see you have a real friend.”

“We’re not friends.” He scoffed, dismissing the idea poorly.

“Yes you are, but you want it to be more.” The Doctor called him out, earning a look of surprise from the man.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The Master uttered, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.

“Yes you do. You know it’s okay to feel that way right?” Letting out a huff of irritation, he just shook his head and retorted.

“I don’t feel any sort of way, Doctor. I’m here to ‘learn’ from you. To follow you around and stick to your silly plan whilst you try and fix me.” It almost amused her, how much denial he was in. But after thousands of years, she knew him all too well.

“Last time I checked, my suggestions didn’t involve reading stories and studying. Or cuddling in the library. It definitely didn’t involve sleeping in the same bed.” That effectively left him speechless, casting his eyes down to the desk bitterly.

“So you can sit here and say you’re just doing all that because of me. Or because it’s some ploy to get out of here faster. But we both know that’s a lie.” The Doctor concluded, drumming her fingers against the surface below her. Closing his eyes, The Master inhaled before returning to look at her.

“Fine, you got me. I didn’t think it would ever turn out like this. Makes me feel strange.”

“You mean happy?” The Doctor laughed, watching her old friend falter slightly.

“I suppose. It’s nice to have someone there, someone who really wants to spend time with me. She’s the first person in a long time to do that of her own free will.” He admitted, rubbing his eyes as he spoke. It was the sad truth.

“That’s good.”

“No it isn’t. I’ll just end up hurting her.” He spat, clenching his fists as that doubt crept over him. The Doctor simply shook her head.

“No you won’t. These past few months you’ve done everything you can to make her happy, to keep her safe. You never let her out of your sight.” It was true, he knew that. Though, deep down he felt that fear, like it just wasn’t enough.

“I know. But still, what if it’s not enough?”

“Don’t think that way. (Y/n) is really attached to you, and you have the biggest soft spot for her. If you’re both happy, then that’s all that matters.” The Doctor told him earnestly, placing a hand on his shoulder. For once, he didn’t shove her off. But could he allow himself to have this?

“I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this.” He half laughed, getting up and walking across to his bed before sitting on it. Grinning, The Doctor stole his office chair, wheeling it over to the bed and sitting in front of him.

“No it’s fun, exploring your inner emotions and your love life.” Her giddiness made him cringe.

“Ok. Never call it that again.” He grimaced, making The Doctor cackle even more.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for teddy bears.” Now just confused, he looked around until he spotted the fluffy bear sat on his pillow. Rolling his eyes, he reached over and picked it up.

“(Y/n) brought it in here last night. She must have left it by accident…” he snickered, looking at the toy fondly before continuing.

“You know she has clothes for it? Like a whole wardrobe, just for the bear.” The Doctor watched him, lips upturned. Guilt began to creep up on him, for being so wrapped up in his own mind.

“I should have said goodbye…”

“Yeah. But it’s okay, she’ll be back in a few days.” The Doctor reassured him. He never wanted time to pass faster.

———

Friday rolled around, The Doctor had parked the tardis in its usual spot and left the doors unlocked. She busied herself around the console, tinkering with a few loose wires.

“Can you pass me a clamp?” Holding her hand out, The Master moved around and gave it to her. She knew he was getting impatient.

“I can hear your brain ticking from here. Relax a bit.”

“Why is it taking so long?” The Mastee grumbled, staring at the doors.

“They’ll be here s-“ just then, Yaz burst through the doors.

“I’m back!” She yelled enthusiastically, running over hugging the blonde woman from behind. Laughing, The Doctor turned and hugged her back, listening to the events of the past few days. With a roll of his eyes, The Master sighed and leant against the console bored. Now he knew how you must have felt all that time.

“God if you two continue to smack your lips together I’ll throttle you both.” He threatened, rubbing his temples.

“Awe do you feel left out?” Yaz joked, hanging from her girlfriend’s arm.

“From you two? Absolutely not. How revolting.” Both girls laughed at his disgust, moving away from each other.

“Go snog in your room, just not in front of me.”

“Can I trust you to fix that circuit?” The doc picked up Yaz’s bag from the floor, looking at the man across the room.

“Obviously. I’ll do a better job and you know it.” He deadpanned, earning an angry look in response. However Yaz was quick to pull her away and leave him to finish her work.

———

You were only slightly late, well almost an hour. But your bus to Sheffield had been delayed so there was nothing you could have done. Thankfully, you found the tardis where it always was and head straight for the doors. Inside, you were met with a soft clinking sound. After walking forwards quietly, you came to see The Master hunched over the console, linking up two wires with clear skill. You’d never seen him working like that before, it was interesting. He was so engrossed in his task, sleeves rolled up and brows furrowed. Taking a piece of metal, he used a small machine to solder it in place and close up the circuit. Wiping off his hands, The Master stood straight and his eyes met yours. You broke out into a smile, rushing over and throwing your arms around his neck. Taken aback, The Master stood frozen for a moment, not expecting that at all.

“How long have you been there?” He pondered, coming to secure his arms around your middle. You hugged the man closely, letting out a small laugh.

“Not long, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” He sighed, wondering how he’d get you past the point of caring about that. Still, you stood in his arms content, speaking again once a few seconds had passed.

“I missed you…” hearing this, The Master felt the beats in his chest working overtime. He tightened his grip on you, not knowing how to respond to that. Though, he felt exactly the same way.

“I missed you too.” Even though he said it quietly, you heard, looking up and smiling happily.

“You’re blushing.”

“I don’t blush.” He scoffed, avoiding eye contact and suddenly feeling very warm.

“I dunno, your hearts are beating very fast.” You placed your hand against his chest, proving your point further. Although he loved your rare confidence, he couldn’t let you get away with too much. Taking hold of your hand, The Master easily manoeuvred you away from him.

“Oh, are they?” He tilted his head, stepping closer and closer until you were pinned between him and the console. Dipping to your level, he leaned in, his cool breath hitting your face. Your eyes were locked together, heat creeping up onto your cheeks. Shamefully, your eyes flickered to his lips before looking back up. He noticed, a smirk appearing.

“You’re blushing.” He teased, letting go of your hand and placing his own on your waist. You couldn’t speak, your words coming out in a jumble, and that pleased him. He loved to see the effect he had on you, it was thrilling. Noticing the hopeful look on your face, he placed a tender kiss to the top of your head. Stepping away he tucked his hands away into his pockets with a proud smile. You stood frozen, hands gripping the edge of the console. Footsteps could be heard approaching, The Master giving you a smug smile before moving to the other side of the console.

“Ah hello (y/n)…are you okay? You look a bit flustered.” The Doctor pressed her hand to your head in deep concern.

“I’m fine, just warm in here…” you lied, giving her a half smile and trying to collect yourself. Both girls were unconvinced, but you just tried to seem relaxed. Shaking her head, The Doctor walked around punching some coordinates into the console.

“So me and Yaz will be off now.” Snapping out of your daze, you followed her movements confused. Noticing this, she let out a noise of annoyance.

“Did you not tell her? I said to tell her when she came in!” Exasperated, the doc scowled at The Master, though she really should have expected it.

“Must have slipped my mind, I was distracted.” He lied, giving you a wink that went unnoticed by the others.

“Anyway. I’m taking Yaz to a spa for the day, after our last attempt failed. Is that okay with you?” The Doctor was going regardless, but a verbal confirmation would make her feel better.

“Yeah of course. Go enjoy your date.” Before they left, The Doctor gave her usual speech about making sure The Master behaved himself.

“You have my word Doctor. I won’t do anything you wouldn’t.” Holding his hands up, she felt secure enough with his answer and guided Yaz out of the ship. Now alone with him once again, you grew jittery. You were so close just moments ago, so close. You knew how you felt for him long ago, but over the months it had grown tenfold. A part of you also longed to go out into the universe with him. Just like Yaz got to experience with The Doctor. Sadly, wondered if what he did before was merely for his own entertainment. With your head telling you it was a game, and your heart saying he really cared, which could you trust?

“What are you thinking about, love?” The Master slowly made his way back round to you, stoping a few inches away.

“I just, wish we could go somewhere fun.” Being somewhat truthful, you lifted your shoulders slightly.

“Well, why can’t we?” This response took you by surprise.

“Because your tardis is locked away somewhere.”

“Who said anything about using my tardis?” He chuckled, brushing some hair out of your face whilst you tried hard not to blush.

“She really shouldn’t have left me to fix her console. It’s very easy to remove a DNA lock.” Giving your nose a little boop, you laughed quietly at his cockiness.

“So, what do you say?”

“What if The Doctor finds out?” You pointed out, so close to giving into the temptation he was offering.

“Come on dear, you know I’m better than that. She’ll never know.” Not even needing to hear that, it convinced you even more and you nod quickly. The Master grinned wickedly, spinning on his heel and beginning to expertly pilot the tardis. You watched excitedly, noticing how steady the ship was whilst in flight. Although great, The Doctor did have a hard time keeping in control.

“Where are we going?” Going to his side, he simply smiled down at you before the ship settled once again.

“Take a look.” He nod towards the door, your chest fluttering with anticipation. It was like doing this for the first time all over again. Pulling on the double doors, your eyes went wide at the scene in front of you. The first thing that caught your attention were the purple bricks that outlined a mechanical road. Tall, grey creatures were walking along, with black robes and oblong heads, their hooved feet carried them into several buildings in the area. Speaking of, the area was filled with hundreds of brightly colour skyscrapers, a mixture of slates, teal and sapphire shades. More to the point, there was actual flying cars, something you thought you’d never get to see. They moved in conjunction, keeping your attention for longer than necessary, watching how they’d ascend and descend whenever needed. Slowly, you let go of the door and stepped out into the new world. It was warm as well, not a cloud to be seen in the mauve sky. From behind, The Master followed you, making sure he locked the door. He didn’t want any trace of what he was doing for The Doctor to find, and a stolen tardis would definitely be a sign. The look of pure joy on your face made his hearts feel complete, as he came to stand beside you.

“Do you like it?” In all honestly, it was perfect, exactly what you’d always wanted to see. Instead of giving a verbal response, you rotated and hugged The Master. He beamed, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground with ease.

“Thank you, thank you. It’s amazing!” You told him, kicking your legs up behind you just before he could set you down. He pulled away, leaving his hands on your waist.

“I told you I knew the place.” You had a twinkle in your eye, realising he remembered that conversation. Taking your hand, The Master began to walk down the road until you stopped him.

“Are we safe?” It felt safe, everything felt very normal, though you’d had one too many incidents before.

“You think I’d take you somewhere that wasn’t safe? I’m not The Doctor.” He almost seemed offended, making you squeeze his hand tighter.

“I picked a date and time I’m a thousand percent sure nothing will happen. I triple checked.” This revelation nearly caused heart palpitations, she had never done that before. Tucking yourself into his side, The Master felt just how grateful you were and wrapped his arm around you. With another kiss left on the crown of your head, the two of you walked along the street as the steel cars soared overhead.

———

You genuinely couldn’t remember a time you felt happier. Even after a hundred trips with The Doctor, this one topped them all. The Master was taking you to every single place that caught your eye, peaked his interest or knew that you’d love.

“Oh there’s something else, over here.” Fingers laced together, The Master tugged you over to a smaller building with a metal veranda. He spoke to the towering alien, handing over a few small credits before receiving a cone in return. You both stood in the shade, keeping out of the way as to not bother anyone.

“What is it?” Looking into the cone, you saw little, dusted spheres. They did look intriguing.

“Sort of like a truffle. But with ice cream in the middle.” Using the spiked fork, he held one up to your lips, allowing you to eat one easily. It had a different taste to the ones from earth, sweeter and softer in texture too. It was evident that you were enjoying them, letting The Master feed you some more. On the other hand, he felt as though he was in a trance. You were just eating. You weren’t doing anything special or extraordinary. Yet he just couldn’t help himself. Lifting his hand, The Master swiped his thumb under your bottom lip, removing a dot of cream. Freezing, you blushed and gazed up at him with big eyes, which certainly wasn’t helping his conundrum. His hand lingered there for longer than neeeded, brown eyes wandering over your face shamelessly. He cleared his throat and tossed the his empty cone into the bin near the shop.

“Come on, I have one more thing to show you.” The Master sounded different than normal, more mellow if that made any sense. Still, you went with him blindly, walking through the quiet streets and admiring the architecture.

It didn’t take long for The Master to find what he was looking for and, after a brief walk, you gasped at the sight in front of you. Just below a pier, there was a glistening lake overshadowed by ancient trees. They grew ebony leaves, with white bark that looked so vibrant. Letting go of his hand, you rushed over to the stone balustrade, leaning over to see the pearlescent water better. It reflected of the sky, giving the surface a lilac glow. Amused by your fervour, The Master approached you with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Stunning, isn’t it? The bottom of the lake is lined with diamonds, they run below the surface of this entire planet. It’s how they got their fortune.” He explained, resting his arms on the stone wall and looking out at the view. And it was a good one, the landscape could occupy your mind for a while. But something else had it for now.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you for showing me this. Thank you for the whole day. I won’t forget it…” there was a twinge of sadness in your thanks, thinking it would be the first and last trip of its kind. The Master didn’t look at you, a tension in his brow. He was never good at comforting, or being completely honest. Around you, however, that side of him did tend to show itself more.

“I know The Doctor takes me to amazing places, and I’m so thankful but, it’s not like this. She’s spontaneous in the best way, and so lovely but-“ you frowned, unsure of how to finish what you were saying. To be honest, there was so much you felt you couldn’t say as it would ruin the day. Silence settled between you both, nothing but the ripples in the lake, and distant alien chattering could be heard. You were deep in thought, that much was clear, but he would never invade your privacy to find out what it was about. A question weighed heavy on his mind, one that he’d been mulling over for a long time.

“Would you come with me?” There was an unmissable tremor in his voice, breaking the silence and your train of thought. Slowly, you turned your head to look at him, finding that he was still unmoved.

“One day, if I pass The Doctors stupid test and she thinks I’m ’good enough’, will you travel with me?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, your mind had been made a long time ago. The Master had his eyes on you in an instant.

“I’d love to go with you.” You smiled, telling him everything he needed to know. You weren’t lying, there was no malice anywhere. No more needed to be said. Instead, he moved closer, hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

“You really mean it?” His guard was completely down, letting his forehead rest against your own as he asked.

“Of course I do, I want more times like this. More of you…” You concluded in a whisper, as The Master trailed his left hand down the side of your neck. The corner of his lip twitched upwards, the confidence you knew all too well finally returning.

“You have me.” With that bold statement, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours, capturing you in a sweet kiss. A raging blush claimed your cheeks, moving your arms around his neck and drawing him in closer. It was as if the last piece of a puzzle was fitting together. Reluctantly, he pulled back, taking in your flushed appearance with pride.

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, keeping myself off of you?” The Master laughed at his own internal battle, thumbing your waist gently.

“Why did you? You could have kissed me earlier.” Your heart was hammering in your chest, liking that you’d both been feeling exactly the same.

“When I knew The Doctor could interrupt at any moment? No, I didn’t want her ruining anything.” Your fingers toyed with the hair at the base of his neck as he spoke, sending a small shiver down his spine.

“When did you become so considerate?”

“For you? A long time ago, love.” The Master pressed your back to the wall you were both once leaning against, his nose bumping against yours.

“Did you not realise, how I’ve been treating you? Did you never notice how conveniently safe you were when I was there? Don’t you understand, you’re the only reason I agreed to The Doctors mindless plan?” Your breath hitched at this admission, taking everything in.

“I knew you kept me in the clear but…you stayed, because of me?”

“Of course I did. Spending time with you is worth The Doctors incessant rambling. It was the only way I knew I could be with you, without anyone noticing.” The Master was so close, his lips brushing yours with every word he said. Once more, you blushed brightly, loving the flattery he was supplying.

“Honestly? I would have jumped at the chance..I’m glad you did stay.”

“And I’m glad you were bold enough to check on me, were you so worried?” Cocking his head to the side, The Master traced over your lips, and down until he was gripping your jaw with intent.

“Of course I was, I thought you were going to die. I hated seeing what you did to yourself.” It was hard to talk about that day, everyone was hurt, especially him. Seeing him laying there, under that rock, you thought you’d lost him before you even had a chance. A stray tear rolled down your cheek before you could stop it, however the man just left a kiss in its wake.

“Don’t cry pet, I’m fine, I’m still here.” You couldn’t help yourself anymore, pulling him down until your lips met again. The kiss was deeper this time, an outpouring of emotions that had been hidden for too long. His tongue pressed against yours, dragging out a guttural wine. The Master revealed in the sound, caressing the curve of your waist and dragging his hand lower. You were grateful for the lack of people in the area. Your hands moved to grip his arms and your lungs began to burn but you didn’t care. Parting from your lips, The Master left a trail of kisses along your jaw lovingly, then he moved back a bit.

“Have I mentioned how cute you look, so flustered?” He smirked, pecking your lips once more then finally letting go. You just avoided his eyes, finding the ground far more interesting.

“The Doctor might kill you if she finds out you know?” He just rolled his eyes when you said that, grasping your hand once again.

“Well she doesn’t have to know quite yet, does she?” Giving you a playful look, The master made sure you stayed by him as you both began walking again.

“You’re lucky I’m a good liar. She really wouldn’t approve.”

“Oh but I thought you wanted me to stay as long as possible?” He feigned sadness, causing you to giggle at his big eyes. You wrapped your arms around his middle whilst approaching the tardis, he made no complaints. Apart from the fact that neither of you actually wanted to go back, that is.

———

The Doctor and Yaz reappeared around five hours after The Master had got you both back. You were impressed with how precise he was, but why were you surprised? When they came in, neither of you were actually in the console room.

“What do you think they did all day?” Yaz asked, following The Doctor around as she piloted.

“I’d imagine reading or something?” The blonde shrugged, not paying it much thought.

“You don’t think he’d try to escape? Or what if he hurt (y/n)?” She exclaimed, earning a snort of laughter from her partner.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Why? After everything he’s done! He’s a monster.” Yaz came to stand directly in front The Doctor, clearly anxious. Sighing, The Doctor rubbed her arms.

“People change. Give him a chance.”

“I don’t know how you can say that when…” Yaz carried on with herself, listing multiple reasons of why she hated the man, and why he wasn’t worth the effort. Up the first flight of steps, The Master stood around the corner, listening to it all. A continuous reminder of his past and all the wrong he’d done.

“Don’t listen to her.” Your voice startled him, you hadn’t been there earlier. Instead of replying, he kept his ear towards the women talking. He wasn’t one to be offended by these things. No, he was more concerned about how you saw him. The Doctor could be very convincing, maybe even Yaz could get into your head. Suddenly, you stepped forward and tilted his head back to look at you. Knowing he was going to speak, you leant up and kissed him softly, keeping him quiet. Taken by surprise, The Master shamefully melted into you, holding your shoulders for support.

“Don’t listen.” You repeated once you pulled back, giving him a smile then walking down the steps.

“(Y/n), have a good day?” The Doctor grinned once she saw you. Giving a small shrug, you lied,

“It was okay.” Even though it was the best day you’d had in years. Frowning, Yaz went closer to you.

“But are you okay?” It was as if she was checking over you.

“And why would I not be okay?”

“Being alone with him?” She said like it was common sense. Giving her a slight glare, you nod.

“I’m fine, Yaz.” Your response was sharp, making the girl huff and look to The Doctor. She just pressed her lips together, unsure how she’d get her girlfriend to relax a bit. But she knew it was something that desperately needed work, especially if she wanted this attempt of therapy to work.

———

Their dates became more and more regular, which was fine by you. The more they were gone, the more you got to do with The Master. Each trip got more thrilling than the last. From seeing supernovas to ancient earth, you were counting the days until you could leave with him. Meanwhile, Yaz was just happy to be away from The Master. Her mind couldn’t be changed, she just couldn’t trust him.

———

One day, as Yaz sat at a candle lit dinner with The Doctor, she put down her menu and looked at her. Sensing some unwarranted anxiety, The Doctor looked back at her confused.

“When is he going to leave?”

“Why would he leave, I haven’t finished with my sessions yet?” Confused, the doc poured herself a glass of water.

“Because, I think he’s hypnotised (y/n).” Her statement made The Doctor freeze up a little. She knew that Yaz noticed your closeness to the man.

“Yaz, I think they just get along well. I’d be able to tell if he was using hypnosis.” The Doctor tried to put her mind at rest, but it was fruitless.

“There’s no way she’d choose to be close with him after all he did to us. To you!” It was annoying Yaz, how rejected her lover was being about the whole situation.

“As I said, people can change. He’s made good process you know? He really is trying, try to consider that they’re friends?” With that suggestion, The Doctor picked up her glass and took a sip of her water.

“Friends? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were getting it on back in the tardis.” Yaz scoffed, The Doctor almost choking on her drink. Coughing it down, she looked over at Yaz baffled.

“Okay, I don’t think that’s what’s going on. I also don’t ever want to imagine that going on in my ship.” The Doctor denied, shivering at the idea. However, she really wasn’t stupid and knew that she had to keep lying to Yaz. Just until she brightened up a bit more. If she did at all.

“Well I’m just saying, they’re a bit too close lately.”

The master buttoned up his shirt, fixing the cuffs with little care. You rolled your eyes, making sure his collar was straight.

“It’s like you want us to get caught.”

“That would be thrilling.” He chuckled, mocking your previous escapades and moving closer to you. You just laughed, hitting his chest gently before sinking down into the floor. Your back rested on the couch as you sat between his legs. Placing a hand on the base of your neck, The Master worked out a deep knot you had there.

“Achey?” He teased.

“Shut up.” You were quick to retaliate but just groaned as the tension left your neck. The male merely smiled, happy to help.

“I can hear them now you know, flirting. Disgusting.” His lip curled in distaste, making you laugh out. Resting your head on his thigh, you gazed up at the man with big eyes.

“That’s very hypocritical you know.” You said, earning a raised brow from him. The Master just leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I know.” You really did love how brutally honest he was, especially when it came to the other love birds. Speaking of, he pulled away very quickly and seconds later the door opened. You busied yourself with a random book that was discarded by the fireplace. Behind you, The Master picked up with his work, as if he had a whole new energy about him.

“Ah there you two are! See Yaz? Everything is fine.” The doctor beamed, sitting herself beside the man on the couch. Yaz didn’t say anything, just looking between you both with reservation. In all fairness, you were testing the waters by sitting in that position.

“Good to see that you’re actually keeping out of trouble.” The Doctor nudged him on the shoulder, yet he never strayed from his papers.

“Of course, how could we ever get into trouble. She’s very well behaved.” The Master moved one hand, patting your head in a patronising manner.

“I think she was just referring to you, Master.” You told him, shutting the book and leaving it by your side.

“Well I know, (y/n) wouldn’t do anything out of pocket would she?” If only she knew, you thought after The Doctor spoke.

“Wow you’re writing fast, have you had a triple shot of coffee or something?” Yaz watched him stunned, seeing how quickly his hand was moving.

“Hm? Oh no, not coffee.”

“Did you eat something then? Like chocolate, that’s got a lot of sugar.” The Doctor added, agreeing with Yaz’s observation.

“Not chocolate, but I did have something sweet yes.” He stated simply, a smugness hidden in his tone. You had to bite your tongue, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

“Got any to share? I am pecki-“

“No.” He snapped, not allowing his fellow Timelord to finish what she was saying. Everyone looked at him, them with confusion and you with amusement.

“Don’t be so greedy.” It was as if Yaz jumped at the chance to be annoyed with him. Stopping his writing, The Master slowly peered up at the woman with vexation.

“I can be whatever I want to be.”

“Ok, ok no fighting please.” The Doctor almost begged, clearly finding it hard to deal with them butting heads.

“We wanted to talk to you both, what should we do tomorrow?” She put the question to the pair of you.

“Oh we get a say do we, I thought only your precious angel got to choose?” The Master quipped.

“Don’t start that. Come on.” The Doctor shot back before a full on shouting match could start. Letting out a heavy sigh, he sat straight and put his hand onto your shoulder.

“Why don’t you pick?” You felt as though as though he was gripping into you to ground himself more than anything else.

“Oh so you want your favourite to pick instead huh?” The Doctor probed, earning a dirty look from her girlfriend.

“Well of course.” His eyes found Yaz when he responded, clearly trying to egg her on more.

“As if she’d ever want to be your-“

“A party.” You voiced your pick loudly, hoping to keep the situation calm. Smiling, The Doctor leant forward to see you better.

“Yeah? What kind?”

“A cocktail party, like a nice, classy one where you have to put a bit of effort into how you look. Is that okay?” You looked around nervously, hoping your idea wasn’t too mundane.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea! Oh and I know just the place!” The Doctor genuinely seemed very pleased with your choice, a large grin etched into her features. She began to ramble about the planet in question, about the fancy parties the richer portion of the place hosted. Still, Yaz was only engrossed in how close you were to The Master, how his hand hadn’t left your shoulder. Then, her eye caught onto something and she gasped in pure horror.

“Yaz? Are you okay?” The Doctor enquired, not liking that she looked so unsettled.

“I didn’t know you got hurt so badly the other day?” Upset clear in her inflection, she crouched down next to you and reached towards your free shoulder. Upon looking, you found that your sleeve had fallen off, leaving a dark bruise of full display. Coyly, you pulled the material over it and tittered slightly.

“Apparently I did yeah, must be from when I fell.” You bluffed, pretending it really was sore. It wasn’t a complete lie, on your last outing at a group, you had fallen down a couple of stairs.

“Poor thing, aren’t you?” The Master said in false pity, giving you those big, sad eyes. Unable to speak, you suddenly felt as though everyone was staring at you and just turned back to the fire. He had an irritating smile on his lips, returning to his work as a way to deflect. Yaz was still fussing over you, thinking that you may be in pain or need something for it. Having said that, The Doctor watched your discomposed behaviour, the redness in your cheeks and shifty eyes. She then looked at the man next to her, his overtly windless demeanour and self-satisfied expression. It was as if everything clicked into place and the realisation hit her square in the face. Mouth agape, a million thoughts ran through her mind. Feeling her eyes gawking at him, The Master muttered underneath his breath,

“You’ll catch flies if you’re not careful.”

“And you’ll have to catch Yaz’s hands if you’re not careful.” Speaking through gritted teeth, The Doctor brought a muffled laugh from the man. He closed up his notebook and looked at her. She really didn’t know what to do at the revelation, he knew that and smirked. They couldn’t speak about it in front of you or Yaz, so she stayed silent, putting a pin in the matter. It wasn’t that she was worried per-say, it was just unexpected and new.

“Honestly Yaz, I’m okay.”

“But it looks bad.” As sweet as it was, you didn’t appreciate the unneeded ego boost The Master was getting.

“She’s fine Yaz, come on.” Standing up, The Doctor pulled the young woman up to her feet.

“See you tomorrow!” Perplexed, you watched as The Doctor practically dragged Yaz out.

“She seemed very concerned, love.” The Master droned out in levity, making you turn round fast. Getting up, you practically pounced on him, only to be caught instantly.

“I’m going to kill you.” You said with fake fury, even though you were the one being held at the waist.

“I look forward to it.”

———

In the depths of the tardis, you rifled through the many wardrobes that The Doctor had. Each were filled with unique articles from all times, planets and periods you could imagine.

“What about this?” Yaz asked, holding up a mid length, tight, red velvet dress.

“Oh yeah that will look great on you!” You smiled, urging her to choose it. Yaz walked over to you with it in hand, trying to help you decide. But you were being picky.

“Come on, (y/n). Who are you trying to impress? Anything will look good if you’re wearing it.” She laughed, leaving you alone to decide.

Back in your room, you took your time getting ready, doing your makeup and hair with great care. It was rare you got to go to anything labeled as fancy, so you wanted to savour it. After successfully zipping up the dress, you straightened it out and looked in the mirror. It was black satin, off the shoulder and figure hugging. The boning lined your body perfectly, going down your middle and around the bust. Coming to just above your mid thigh, you paired the dress with some chunky black heels before deciding you were ready.

When you got to the console room, you found that everyone was already there.

“Sorry, was I holding everyone up?” You questioned anxiously, standing by the mechanism. The Doctor shook her head, looking dapper in her tux as usual.

“Not at all. We’re nearly there.” She let you know kindly. Yaz definitely chose the correct dress, having now tied her hair into a bun, it really suited her.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“SinCeria. A planet adorned with six, silver moons that rise every six-hundred years. They hold a week long celebration for it and on the last day, you get to see the event.” The Master answered you, slowly making his way to you. He was dressed in an ox-blood coloured waistcoat, sporting his favourite pocket watch and black suit pants. The sleeves of his ebony shirt were neatly rolled up to his elbows, hands away in his pockets. You blinked rapidly, trying not to make your interest obvious. The Master was anything but discreet however, clearly ogling you with no guilt. You felt small under his gaze, but in the most flattering way.

“And presto!” The Doctor yelled as the ship landed with a thud, sending you tumbling. Of course, you were securely caught by The Master, his hands holding just under your arms.

“Shall we head then? I’m well excited for this.” The Doc grabbed hold of Yaz’s hand, taking her out and holding the door open. You quickly followed, whilst he kept a possessive hand on your side. After exiting the cleaning cupboard the time lady had parked in, you found yourselves in a long, extravagant hallway. It was lined with gold architrave against ivory walls and a soft, noir carpet. Each alcove held a hologram, a collection of creatures in a prestigious uniform.

“They’re the former kings of this planet.” The Master told you, noticing your curiosity.

“They look like geckos.” You smiled, thinking that you looked quite sweet. At the end of the corridor were two of said alien, clearly guarding the entrance door. With a quick flash of her psychic paper, The Doctor gained entry for the four of you and the doors were pushed open.

“Oh wow..” Yaz breathed once seeing the interior. It truly was breathtaking, with high arching ceilings being lit up by crystal chandeliers. In the middle of the grand room there was a dance floor, donning black and white checked tiles. Around that, were round, glass tables fitted with matching chairs. The centre of them held an elaborate, champagne shade candelabra, flickering away. Looking around, you saw a bar on the left side of the room with a few smaller tables and people mingling. It wasn’t too busy, the evening only just having started. A band were playing adjacent to the bar, a gentle tune to ease people in whilst guests were still arriving.

“Happy?” The Doctor looked at you hopefully. Grinning, you reached over and hugged your friend close.

“Yes it’s exactly what I meant, thank you.” She just chortled, rubbing your back then letting go. Beginning to explain the usual itinerary of the party, no one noticed the clear irritation of the man behind you.

“-so in about ten minutes, things will really pick up, won’t they?” The Doctor finished her sentence, looking at The Master for some support. She didn’t expect to find him glaring daggers at her and raised her brows in bewilderment. If looks could kill, she’d be six feet under.

“Yes. It will.” He grit out, never changing his look. You wanted to do something to calm him from whatever it was that got to him, but you couldn’t in front of everyone.

“Relax mr grumpy.” Yaz baited, clearly not caring for his foul mood at all. He ignored her, scouring the area some more.

“Care for a drink?” A well-mannered voice came from behind, causing the small group to turn. It was another gecko like man, holding a tray of what looked like yellow martinis.

“Ah thank you.” The Doctor took two at a time, first for you and Yaz, then for her and The Master. Taking a small sip, your eyes squinted at how sour it was.

“What is it, pure lemon?” You coughed, covering your mouth politely. Yaz was the same, handing her glass back to the blonde. She found it hilarious, laughing so hard that she struggled not to spill them. The Master was quick to finish his, taking your glass and putting them both on a nearby table. More people had arrived, a shared vigour across the room. The music picked up in beat, just enough to move too.

“You two don’t mind if we go and dance?” Yaz asked, though not really needing the answer, as she was already pulling on The Doctors sleeve.

“Please do.” The Master practically hissed, which was now starting to worry you. The woman dismissed it however and rushed off to the dance floor. Now alone, you faced The Master with your arms folded.

“What’s the matter?”

“Everyone here is looking at you.” His voice was low, icy even. Bemused, you looked around, eyes everywhere quickly moving on from you the minute you clocked them. Suddenly, you felt very self aware and backed up into his hold. Wrapping his arms around your waist, The Master pressed a kiss to your marked shoulder.

“You see now? I also don’t really approve of you hugging The Doctor like that.” He rested his chin there on your shoulder. “Not when you look this good.” You giggled as he pecked the crook of your neck a few times.

“You’re too kind.”

“Only to you, dear. Come now, I want to show you why this party even happens.” Lacing your fingers, The Master walked you through the crowd, over to the other side of the room. You stayed close, still feeling as though you were being watched. Then you saw it. In front of you was a floor to ceiling, glass window, giving the perfect view of space outside. The sky was a cascade of deep blues and purples, bright stars dotted throughout.

“Look.” The Master pointed down, only for you to see the heads of the Six Silver Moons.

“In about an hour, they’ll be at the perfect height for viewing.” With a hand placed on the small of your back, he stood beside you guardedly. Simpering, you leant into his body, basking in his warmth.

“I would have brought you here eventually. I knew you’d love it, but I’m happily surprised The Doctor actually considered you for once.” He mumbled by your ear, his thumb moving against your side soothingly.

“At least you’re with me. That’s all I really care about now, honestly.” You responded, too shy to look at the man. You didn’t know what he considered the pair of you to be, and that did bother you a little. Were you just like a potential companion with a few benefits? Or were you more? Was it real? You doubted he’d succumb to a human custom, like calling himself a ‘boyfriend’, and perhaps he didn’t even want to commit to you fully.

“How can you think so low of me, pet?” The Master turned you till your eyes met, a scowl present on his face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be reading my thoughts?”

“Well they’re very loud.” He defended himself, holding onto your waist securely. When you tried to avoid his gaze, he simply followed your eyes.

“I told you, you have me.”

“But what if-“ he didn’t let you finish, tipping down and capturing your lips with his own. You shut up very quickly, clinging onto his arms.

“Do you understand? Whilst I may not use your earthly titles, I consider us an official item, if that’s what you’d call it. As far as I’m aware, you’re mine and that’s not going to change.” Hearing him say that, filled you with an unmatchable amount of joy, a huge smile adorning your face. Happily, you jumped slightly and hugged onto him tightly. Chuckling, The Master swirled round with you in his grasp before placing you back down.

“Care to dance, pretty?”

“How formal. I’d love to.” You bit your lip to suppress your smile, allowing him to guide you onto the dance floor. Surrounded by other couples, he took one hand in his own, then placed his other in the curve of your waist. You held onto his shoulder, letting him take the lead and move to the violin central music.

Time passed swiftly, each tune different from the last. The Master held your hand, twirling you in time with the more up-tempo song. You couldn’t stop laughing, feeling so light and happy in that moment. He pulled you back into his embrace, your back flush to his chest. Looking up at him, he just grinned back at you.

From the crowd, Yaz appeared and rushed over to you both.

“The Doctor wants you.” She said, eyes fixated on The Master and sadly making him part from you.

“Shan’t be too long, ok?” He rubbed your shoulder softly, before glaring at Yaz then heading off.

“Wanna get a drink, (y/n)?” Nodding, you head to the bar with her, standing against the cool marble surface. All the staff were busy, but you didn’t really mind.

“Are you ok, like really ok?” The urgency in her voice did more than confuse you.

“I’m fine, Yaz. Are you ok?” You half laughed, resting one arm on the bar.

“I’m worried about you. I think you’ve been hypnotised.” She exasperated, and you heard yourself groan.

“Can you stop saying that?”

“If you’re being threatened or you’re scared, you know The Doctor will help you right? You don’t have to be freighted.” She touched your arm with care, as if what she was saying was true in any sense.

“Believe me I’m not frightened of him, at all. And he’s not trying to hurt me. Or you for that matter.” You said with certainty, trying hard to convince her. Yet, Yaz was unchanged. Standing straight, it was clear that her temper was rising.

“He’s a monster, (y/n). He’s clearly playing with you. Before long he’ll switch up on you and kill you. All of us maybe.” Now you were beginning to get angry, feeling a protectiveness over him. You knew he could look after himself, but you just couldn’t help it.

“He’s not! Why can’t you just drop it?”

“Because it’s getting out of hand now. You’re with him all the damn time!” She raised her voice, jaw clenched in frustration. People around you started to talk in hushed voices. Not wanting to draw any more attention, it took everything inside of you to remain calm.

“So what? It’s none of your concern. He’s doing exactly what The Doctor asked, he’s following her rules and being good. So what if I spend a bit of time with him?” Trying to play it down, you looked around for a bartender, hoping a drink might ease the argument.

“‘A bit’? It’s more than ‘a bit’! You’re practically attached to him!”

“As if you don’t follow The Doctor like a little puppy?” You shot back, making the girl turn red.

“Well I am her girlfriend! And she’s not a mass murderer!” At that, you gave Yaz a look of boredom, as you both knew of her past.

“Drinks ladies?” A voice cut in.

“Yes, thanks.” You responded without looking, fully focused on ending the stupid spat.

“Yasmine, I’m fine. You really need to stop this. It’s only going to get in the way of The Doctors sessions. He’ll get vexed and try to escape or something.”

“Good. I want him gone. He’s like a parasite and you’re his victim.” The hatred in her words, the pure desire to just throw him out was beginning to really affect you.

“What is wrong with you? You say he’s the evil one yet you’re the one being spiteful. All because he’s being nice to me?”

“Nice? You were dancing five minutes ago! He needs to leave before he brainwashes you into doing something worse.” Yaz was fuming, fist in a tight grip against the bar top. At your wits end, you just scoffed out a laugh.

“If you think dancing is the worst thing we’ve done together, you’re clearly blind.” Her face fell when you said that, dread slowly setting in.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yaz prayed she was wrong, but one look at your face and she knew she wasn’t. “No. No there’s no way.” She said in distress, covering her mouth in shock. “How could you do this to us?”

“Excuse me?” Taking a step back, you glowered at her.

“After everything he did to us? You’re going to just let it go? You’re going to..to..”

“To what? Say it, I dare you.” Your chest was rising and falling at an odd pace.

“I don’t even want to think about it. You’re such a backstabber! When The Doctor finds out, you’ll both be done for.” It was hardly a threat, knowing that The Doctor was a tiny bit more level headed than that. In fact, she sounded like a bratty child.

“What you’re going to go tell on me? Get us in trouble? Is she your girlfriend or your mother?” You poked fun at the scenario, starting to feel worn out from all the yelling. That seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back, since Yaz snatched her purse up into her hand.

“You know what, i wish you two would get yourselves done away with! I’ll be happy if i never have to see you again!” She screamed before turning and storming off. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply. It was all too much, sadness overwhelmed you.

“Your drink, miss.” Mumbling a small ‘thanks’, you took the flute and shot back the green, fizzy drink without a care. It didn’t taste too great, but you hoped it would numb the emotional pain you felt. It burned as it went down, in fact, it really burned. More than the average spirit would. Your tongue also reacted strangely to the drink, an instant numbness arriving.

“I’m hope you liked it.” That grainy voice. Cautiously, you turned your head and came face to face with the same man from the fish festival. How could you have missed it? “As it will be the last you ever have” His hairy face brought instant discomfort. Then, you remembered The Masters warning: ‘don’t try the drinks. You’ll get sick.’ Panic slowly came over you, your feet moving you away from the man. The glass slipped from your hands, smashing on the solid floor. Who knows what concoction he filled you with, but it was nothing good. Yasmines final words were starting to feel more like a death sentence. Who knows how long you had before anything more drastic started to happen. Gawping, he just slid over the bar like it was nothing, taking a few lethal steps closer.

“Don’t worry. You’ll fall asleep first. Gives me the chance to do as I please with you. I’ll be able to feel as your body goes cold.” He licked his stringy lips with anticipation. You only had one thing on your mind, finding The Master. You’d rather die in his arms than with this disgusting creature all over you. The tips of your fingers began to tingle. Looking down you found them turning black, your heart going unnaturally fast.

“Don’t be scared, I’ll take good care of your body.” It cackled, reaching its fin like arms forward. On cue, you turned and made a run for it, ducking in and out of the crowds with it hot on your tail. People all around were showing their concern but you just carried on, looking around desperately for The Master. Your legs were getting weaker, black spots clouding your vision in a matter of minutes. You strained yourself until you could barely walk anymore, ending up in the far right corner of the room, in the shadow of the large window. The moons were nearly at their peak, sparkling in the night sky.

“No where left to run human. You really were too tempting to resist. I had to trace you across the universe, but it will be worth it.” Your back hit the wall as it was speaking and closing in on you. How could you keep yourself conscious, how could you get the attention you needed?

“Master!!”

———

The Master had found The Doctor talking with one of the royal guards, learning more about the planets eco system in the process. She had smiled once seeing him.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He questioned, being met with a perplexed look.

“Uh no? Why?”

“Yaz said you did?” He explained, gesturing back to where he’d just come from. He really disliked leaving your side when you didn’t know the planet.

“What? But Yaz told me she was going to find a bathroom?” Now they were both left puzzled.

“So she lied to us both?”

“It would seem so, but why?” The Doctor posed the question, resting back against the wall behind her.

“You know why, I imagine she’s telling (y/n) off for being near me.” Rolling his eyes, The Master exhaled and looked into the crowd. Neither of you were there now. It felt like something had shifted, like a penny was dropping. Where had you gone?

“I’m trying, I just can’t shift her mind.” Guilt was laced in what she was saying so The Master made no further comments. Glancing around the room again, he caught wind of something that made him lour.

“That man was at the festival…that first place we went. I didn’t know their kind were on the guest list?” Looking back at The Doctor, she saw who he meant and nod.

“Neither did I.”

———

Yaz had made a beeline for The Doctor, wanting to explode and give The Master a piece of her mind.

“You!” She screeched, stopping in front of the purple clad man.

“What are you and (y/n)?” Yaz demanded an answer, making The Doctor rush to interfere. However, he held up his hand in wait.

“You know the answer to that, Yasmine.” Choosing to be honest, the young girl was taken aback.

“You’re..together?”

“If you want to put it into earth terms, then yes you can say that.” The confirmation felt like a nightmare. She looked at The Doctor furiously.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yaz-“

“No Doctor! He’s a manipulative asshole!” She was yelling again, making a few guests and a guard look over. The Master didn’t care to pay attention, instead he was searching the room.

“Where is she?” He asked, getting no answer when the two woman were still bickering. There was a nauseating unease in his gut, their voice making him wince internally. He pushed between them.

“Where. Is. She?” The sharpness of his voice got her attention back again. Yaz tried not to show her fear.

“Who cares! She betrayed us for you!”

“You’re literally the only one who’s hung up on this. The Doctor doesn’t even care!” That made Yaz snap back round to her girlfriend. During the dispute, The Doctor had been sane and calm. It was in her better nature.

“Master!!” Your voice rang through the room, alerting the man instantly. Without thinking, he rushed off in the direction it came from, pushing through with no remorse. Your hands were now fully onyx, with little feeling left in them. The creature was right in your face, a fin sliding over your front and making you feel sick.

“Humans are so soft…” his fishy breath hit your face harshly, and you used all your will to push him back. That made him angry, a fin coming down and slicing across your middle. You let out a whimper of pain, almost falling but keeping your balance.

“Stupid girl, you’ll be mine in a few minutes. I’ll claim you as my own, my own little human sl-“ there was a bright flash. When you looked, it was gone. The Master stood there, eyes wide with terror. With the dark colour etching up your arms, he knew what it was. Blood seeped out of the cut on your stomach. He barely put his stolen TCE away before he was at your side. With what little strength you had, you pushed yourself into his arms just in time for him to catch you. “You came…” even your voice was weak now.

“Of course I did, I should never have left you.” He said, pressing a hand to your stomach firmly. Tears spilled down your cheeks, the pain unbearable and the slowness of your heart really scaring you. Finally, The Doctor caught up just as your legs gave out. The Master was fast, picking you up easily and turning to the woman. Your arm fell limp at your side, head rolling against his shoulder. Seeing you, her breath hitched. Instead of speaking, she began to run, snatching Yaz on the way and heading straight into the tardis. Yaz did watch as The Master carried you down to the med bay, her last words to you now scarred into her brain. He lay you on the bed where he once rested carefully, then rushed around to try and find an antidote.

“What are you thinking?” The Doctor asked in a rush, going to help him with whatever he needed.

“I don’t know. I think he poisoned her, judging by the reaction. It’s like her body is..” he shook his head, swallowing down thickly. She’d never seen him like this before and it scared her. It was really bad. The Master was a mess, flittering about from place to place. He began to ramble, spitting out different ideas and treatments. Slipping in and out of consciousness, you could only let out a strangled noise of pain. It was kink your lungs were folding in on themselves. After giving a set of instructions, The Master went to you once again. Taking hold of your hand, he almost flinched at how cold you felt. There was nothing he could say, he doubted there was anything he could do. Even when the doctor injected you with a blue liquid, it was futile. How could you go from laughing and dancing in his arms, to this? In such a short amount of time. The room fell quiet, your laboured breathing made the atmosphere dense. They knew it was far too late. She watched as The Master stood at your bedside, running his fingers through your hair lovingly. Never being one for goodbyes, The Doctor made her exit in a flurry, making sure Yaz Stayed away too. He could hear crying, not that she deserved to cry or mourn you. Your head went slack, eyes closing as your final breath narrowly escaped. For the first time in a millennium, tears filled The Masters eyes, obscuring his vision. He didn’t stop them, letting them fall. The one good thing he had, gone in an instant, like a drop of water on a lone flame. He now knew exactly how The Doctor felt every time she lose her companions. How she felt when loosing Rose. All of them coming and going like breath on a mirror. Whilst he could live on forever. The thought captured his brain, the most obvious thing. He was your cure. Standing by the top of your bed, The Master rubbed his hands together furiously until they emitted a golden glow, then pressed two fingers on each side of your head, closing his eyes and letting his regeneration energy work its magic. There was no real guarantee that it could bring you back, but he’d risk a life to keep you with him. It was hard to tell at first, with his eyes closed he couldn’t see the gash heal itself. Your hands slowly faded back to (skincolour), life flooding your veins. Eyes shooting open, you sat bolt upright, breathing in so much it made your lungs sore. Everything came back to you at once, your hands feeling around the middle of your stomach. There was no trace. It was gone. Turning your attention to your hands you saw swirls of gold under your skin. The Master took his hands from your head, moving round until you could see him. It all hit you in that moment, everything that had taken place.

“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was him. I should have know it was him. But we were arguing and I was distracted and-“ hot tears rolled down your cheeks, your words falling into one. The Master didn’t care though, wiping them away whilst sitting on the side of the bed.

“Don’t. Don’t apologise.” His throat was bone dry, making you take his exhausted appearance in.

“Were you…crying?” It was hard to imagine, but all the signs were there. Biting his lip to stop it from wobbling, The Master clasped your hand again tightly, relishing in the warmth and pressing a faint kiss on your palm.

“I thought I’d lost you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt anything like that. I’ve lost so much. So many people that I loved. I couldn’t lose you too.” Unable to stop yourself, you reached forward and wrapped your arms around his middle, your face pressed into his chest. This eased him greatly, his arms encasing your trembling body tightly. Hooking an arm under your legs, he shifted delicately until you were curled up between his legs. Neither of you cared about the dried blood or your ripped dress. It was meaningless now. The Master was cradling you like you could break at any moment, like you just did. Like even the suggestion would make him blunder.

“You love me?” Hesitantly, you gazed up at him. He met your eyes, cupping your cheek and leaning down.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He sounded bittersweet, eyes looking deep into your own. The unexpected confession only made you cry more.

“I love you too.” You choked out, soon met with a deep, passionate kiss. The Master never wanted to let go, holding you against him, feeling your tears mixing with his own. Your hands fisted his now ruined shirt, cherishing the intimate moment. Parting ways, you panted heavily, tiredness overtaking you all of a sudden. Though it was to be expected.

“It’s okay love, you can sleep. I’ll take care of everything.”

———

The Master laid you down in a pair of fresh pyjamas, making sure the covers were over you securely. He left the med bay, walking up and finding both women with tear stained faces. He stopped at the top of the steps, alerting them with his heavy treads. The Doctor stood, looking at him sadly. Beside her, Yaz was clearly inconsolable, sitting on the floor in pure defeat.

“She’s fine. I brought her back.” He said, making the girls eyes grow wide.

“Seriously?”

“You think I’d just let her die, Doctor?” He spoke in a low voice, descending with heavy footsteps. Even now, The Doctor was distraught, knowing they had all lost you for a few minutes. Knowing that the girl she loved had indirectly played a part in that. It was then that The Master changed his course of direction, walking straight towards the blonde. Going against his moral code, he reached out and pulled her into a tight hug where she quickly broke down. He held the back of her head to his shoulder, rocking his old friend as she cried.

“You really saved her?” Yaz asked timidly. The Master, still piqued from the date evens, barely payed her any notice.

“I thought you wanted to kill her. O-or to hurt her…” she trailed off, all her assumptions slowly fading into obscurity. The Doctor pulled away, wiping her face dry the best she could whilst The Master held her up. His hands ran across her shoulders in comfort. Despite everything, the time lords could never truly hate each other. After their lives, they needed each other. They needed that feeling of home.

“I said I never wanted to see her again.” Yaz carried on, trembling in her spot on the floor. “I wished her death…” she finished in a whisper. They both went rigid, The Doctor turned around in trepidation, her mouth going dry.

“No…”

“You said what?” The Master charged over, looking down at the human with a fire inside that couldn’t be extinguished.

“I-I was just frustrated okay? I thought you were-“

“You thought I was hurting her? Manipulating her? Taunting and playing with her like she’s just some pawn in one of my elaborate mind game?” He snapped with venom, making Yaz back away. She couldn’t speak, voice seemingly shutting down.

“Look what happened. Because of your closed mindedness. This is why I hate humans. With your self righteousness and over confidence. Always thinking you’re right.” The Doctor stood back as he berated Yaz, chewing on her thumb nail. Normally, she would never allow this, but it was necessary.

“Unlike you, (y/n) used her brain. She can see past the plans and the killing. Past all the mistakes. She can see me. No, I’m never going to ‘turn good’. But I am going to do whatever I can to keep her safe. I agreed to stay, to try. I was never going to hurt anyone on this ship.” The Master crouched down, glaring deep into her eyes.

“Look what your hatred did. Are you happy now?” He put the question to her, searching her face for a solid answer that would satiate his fury. Yasmine didn’t respond, choking back tears in shame.

“I said are you happy now!” He howled, making the girl recoil, hitting a crystal pillar with force. Now that she was shaking in fear, The Master breathed out a deep sigh, pulling himself up. Turning to leave, he gave her one last cold look and said,

“You don’t deserve to be sad.” Then he trudged back to his room, trying to freshen up. The Doctor could deal with Yaz, hopefully finding an appropriate way of setting her straight.

———

After taking a shower that lasted far too long, The Master stared into the bathroom mirror with confliction. Was his therapy working? Why did he feel guilt? Maybe it was just the day weighing on him. Maybe it was all real emotion. Gripping the edge of the basin, he took in a few sharp breaths whilst moving his head side to side. Part of him wanted to storm the place, find his tardis and steal you away. But you needed to heal. The image of you covered in blood was stained into his memory. It was haunting him. He splatted his face with cold water, throwing something on to wear then pushing on the bathroom door. What he didn’t expect was to see you sat up in his bed, the pyjama shirt he had put you in was now hanging from your shoulder. He missed that dark bruise he had left on you. A symbol to show the universe that you were his.

“You’re supposed to be resting, what are you doing?” His voice made your head shoot round, a smile on your face as he approached you.

“I’m restless. I feel weird. Like buzzy.” You let him know, clenching and unclenching your fists to price your point.

“That’ll be the left over regeneration energy in your system, making sure you’re fully healed.” The Master stood in front of you, eyes wandering over your form numbly, concealing any and all woes. Tilting your head, you stared up.

“You’re sad.” Your statement took him off guard. He just scoffed and looked away.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, Master. I want you to be honest, please?” That was all it took to bring his walls down. He got onto the bed next to you, flopping back against the pillows.

“I’m not sad, (y/n). I don’t know what I’m feeling and I don’t like that.” You frowned as he spoke, crawling up beside him.

“It’s like I’m overwhelmed by a hundred different emotions. It’s awful. I don’t know how The Doctor does it.”

“She’s good at masking her feelings, just like you.” You scolded the both of them, even if she wasn’t there currently. He laughed a bit. Moving closer, you started to play with his hair gently, smiling at the bouncy curls. The Master kept his eyes on your face as you did this, monitoring your smile and your bright eyes. There was still a deep put in the middle of his stomach.

“I was scared. Really scared. Terrified even.” He admitted, voice barely audible. But you heard. Tentatively, you started stroking the side of his head, hoping to help the man open up some more.

“And now I know what Yaz said to you.” You froze, making eye contact with him. “She said she wanted you dead?” You wet your lips anxiously, your hand resuming its movements.

“Both of us actually…”

“I don’t care what she thinks about me. But you? In that moment, when you were gone, I felt so lost.” He was tense, shooting knives at the ceiling with his eyes.

“You quell the racket inside my head. With you, I feel sane. I need you, (y/n). I can’t lose you” the more he spoke the quieter he got, your heart swelling in response.

“You’re not going to lose me. Why do you think I came here as soon as I woke up? I’m not leaving your side, ever.” You soothed, nails scraping along his scalp nicely. “And we can leave together. If you find your tardis we’ll go as soon as you’re ready.” Eventually, your words reached him and The Master relaxed, turning towards you. He pulled you down, holding you against his chest. Instantly you felt safe, nuzzling into him and hugging his waist.

“Trust me, we’re going as soon as possible.” In his mind, The Doctor and Yaz were simply an after thought. He could find his ship in a dual heartbeat, without them knowing, he was just that good. And, with you by his side, The Master knew he could take on anything the universe threw at him.

[rifting-zenith]

Because We Are Family

Pairings: Svarog x gn!reader, reader is familial figure to Clara

Synopsis: Reader is a doctor who tends to the vagrant camp. Bonds are formed and family is found. Fluff.

Word Count: 1,905

You are studying in an apprenticeship under Natasha. You have always cared for the wellbeing of those around you from a young age, so it only felt natural to take up the helm of being a doctor. When you aren’t too busy at the clinic you use your free time to go help out the vagrants at the robot settlement. They are still human no matter their crimes. This is where you meet Clara.

Clara quickly becomes your shadow while you are there, often making small talk with you as you meet her with warm smiles. You often think to yourself, “She’s a lovely, lovely girl.” She reminds you a little of yourself when you were younger.

Everytime you visit Clara goes home that night to Svarog, full of excitement, and tells him of the day she spent with you. She sings your praises time and time again. It is evident you mean an awful lot to Clara. Svarog takes notice of this, how could he not? There is nothing he wouldn’t do for Clara. They are family after all. He adds the memories to his mental files being sure to back it up and back it up again for safe measure.

As you leave the robot settlement, you hum a nameless melody to yourself, not quite paying attention to where you’re going as you kick stones along the path. Suddenly you bump into something hard as rock and cold as ice, falling flat to the ground you spill your supplies. Your first thought should be of your lost supplies, but when you look you're met with an intense glowing ruby stare from a single eye. The gaze pins you to the ground. You can’t look away nor can you seem to formulate the words to apologize. “He’s beautiful” seems to be the only thought crossing your mind at that moment. Svarog bends down towering over your much shorter frame as he reaches around you to pick up the fallen supplies. If he were a man he would be close enough to feel warm breath on your skin, but this being is anything except human. The perfect specimen. Human technology perfected.

After a prolonged moment of silence you finally peel your eyes away.

“I am so sorry I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” You are met with silence that brings a blush of embarrassment to your cheeks.

“You must be Svarog. I’ve heard so much about you from Clara” you say with an anxious laugh. Once everything had been picked up the robot pulled away to stare at you once more. His gaze is cold and calculating almost like it’s staring right through you. It makes you pull your cardigan tighter around your body as if to shield yourself.

"Yes, I am Svarog. I believe these are yours. You must be y/n. Clara speaks very highly of you.” Svarog said in a robotic, smoky voice that brought goose bumps to your skin.

The robot offers you a hand which you gladly take. As you brush the debris and fallen snow off your clothing he stands patiently holding your things.

You begin to reach out to take them from him. He interrupts. “I will walk you home and carry these for you.”

It was so matter of fact that it felt as if there was no room to argue so you just nod. Svarog leads the way as you follow closely behind. You would think for such a big being that he would be much faster. Maybe he was slowing himself down to walk in tune with you. The thought brings a smile to your face. You never thought that a robot would be so human. It’s truly no wonder Clara speaks so fondly of him. After walking for a while in silence Svarog falls back beside breaking the silence.

“Clara tells me what you have done for the vagrants. It is not often you see such an act of kindness from humans.” You smile and look up at the robot taking in his metallic shell with the midnight blue finish. He reminds you of the familiar night sky of the overworld that you have not seen in so long evoking a fond feeling.

“I wouldn’t say it’s an act of kindness, more like a civil duty as a doctor.” you remark. Met with more silence, you begin to feel uneasy as if maybe you had spoken wrong.

He speaks up, saying "You are being too modest. I have lived here for some time and seen the many horrors that humans have committed against each other in the name of survival.” His to the point way of speaking was more reassuring than you had expected. Svarog was more than you had expected.

“Yes, life down here has been hard since they closed it off ten years ago. I do not blame everyone for how they react though. Everyone is just trying to survive to the best of their abilities.” Svarog pauses for a moment, stopping in the road as if computing the response you had just given him.

“I see,” he says, nodding his head before beginning to walk again.

Time passes quickly as you and Svarog walk in tandem, talking of life underground and of sweet, young Clara. If there was anything you had in common with the robot it was how much you both adored her. Before you know it you are at your door.

“Well, we're here.” you say with a sad smile at your time together coming to an end.

“Here are your things.” Svarog says aloud as he hands you your supplies. As Svarog turns and begins to leave, you shout from your doorstep.

“Wait! Will I see you again?”

The being turns around when he speaks. “Yes. I am certain you will.” You watch as the robot disappears into the cool air of the night before entering your home.

When Svarog returns home he is met with a smiling Clara.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asks, staring down at her small frame. She puts her hands behind back and shifts from foot to foot staring at them.

“Yes I should, but I wanted to tell you about my day” she says meekly.

“You may tell me about your day, but then it is to bed with you. Eight hours of sleep a night is essential for human health and development.” The young girl beams from ear to ear. This time when Clara rambles on and on about her day in camp with you Svarog listens intently, being sure to ask many questions about you and her time spent with you.

You still return to the vagrant camp making your rounds doing what you can for the people there, but now instead of one shadow, you have two. Svarog’s large frame has a much more noticeable presence than Clara’s even if he is silent, which he never is. He is always sure to ask how your day is and what you're doing and why exactly it is you’re doing it. It makes you happy that the robot is taking such an interest in the world around him, taking such an interest in your world. You can’t help but notice that everyone seems to be on their best behavior with him around. It makes you giggle to yourself. You might as well be walking around with a giant guard dog. His reputation truly precedes him.

As the months go by your spare supplies dwindle down into almost nothing. One day at the vagrant camp you run completely out. With a sad sigh you tell those in need of your assistance that you will be back as soon as you can.

“What are you going to do, y/n?” Clara asks with eyebrows knitted together in worry.

“I’m going to Rivet Town to gather whatever I can.” You give Clara a reassuring smile.

"You can’t, it’s not safe!” Clara exclaims.

“You don’t need to worry about me. It’ll all be okay.” You assure the young girl, giving her a rub on the head. You turn around and begin to set off hitching your empty bag up on your shoulder. Walking away, you turn around and give one last wave to Clara who stands completely still watching you go with tears in her eyes. Once you are out of sight Clara takes off running looking for Svarog. Where is he when she desperately needs him?!

Clara eventually finds the being after searching high and low tinkering with his robots in some secluded room in the home they share together. She takes a moment to put her hands to her knees and catch her breath. Svarog is immediately alarmed, taking the girl's tear stained cheeks. With rasped breaths and through wobbly words she explains what has happened and where you went. Svarog tells her to stay put and he will take care of it. With no other words he sets off.

All is going well in Rivet Town. You’ve found almost all of the supplies you needed and are happy that you haven’t run into anyone or anything that delays you. That is, until you see a large fragmentum monster creep out of the shadows. Biting back a scream it stalks towards you. As quickly as you can, you take your things and run as quickly as you can in the opposite direction, running as fast as your legs can take you. Sadly you are out of shape and are beginning to lose steam.

As you begin to slow down, fear takes hold and you’re worried that these breathless moments may be your last. Stopping completely to catch your breath, you look over your shoulder to survey the scene. You see the creature coming closer and closer at an alarming rate. You let out the loudest scream your lungs can muster and close your eyes, bracing for impact. Except the impact never comes.

You hear the loud boom of a cannon over your head and look up. Much to your surprise, you see Svarog hovering over you in a protective stance, one arm extended towards the fragmentum beast that now fades away on the ground. Looking at your savior, your knight in shining armor, you become overwhelmed with emotion and begin to cry. Svarog bends down and picks up your small figure.

“There is no need to cry. You are safe now” the robot coos while using his cool metal fingers to wipe away your tears. With a sniffle you throw your arms around him in relief.

“I am so happy to see you. I thought I would never see you or Clara again” you lament.

“What you thought were your last thoughts… were of us?” he asks inquisitively.

“I suppose all the time we’ve spent together I've come to view you guys as something close to family. You guys are the closest thing I have besides Natasha.” you reply in a hushed tone.

“Do you think you can walk back with me?” he asks. You shake your head no because your legs might as well be jelly after all that running. In one fell swoop he picks you up into the bridal position.

“Where are you taking me?” you inquire.

“Home.”

“Your home or mine?”

“Ours.” With a smile you lean up and kiss the robot on his cheek and swear that if robots could smile, he would be.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi mods,

first of all, thank you for the great work you've been doing, thanks to you I've found some amazing fics!

I was wondering if you could recommend a slow burn fic that is on the longer side, at least 20,000 words, non-human, any rating? Something like She did look back, and I love her for that by Waterloo maybe?

Thanks so much in advance, have a wonderful day!

Hello! Here are some longer slow burn non-human fics...

The space between us by MyOwnName123 (T)

This is a love story, written by my own asexual/aromantic ass. Crowley took exactly seven seconds to fall madly in love with Aziraphale, but he knows it's a terrible idea to actually do anything about it so instead he spends thousands of years pining away silently. Besides, what does love even mean? This fic may or may not have gone out of hand in terms of biblical and historical accuracy, also i tried to stay true to canon but it's been a while since i last read Good omens so this is probably more based on head canons and other fanfic. Enjoy!

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (E)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan Okay, fine. Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him. He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

Sunlight or Demise by verovex (T)

Anathema had once said she couldn’t see Adam’s aura, and it should’ve been more of a red flag, but the reality was it had just been so large she couldn’t see it for what it was. For Crowley, it was the same thing with trying to see reciprocation from Aziraphale. * The enormity of love was, by all accounts, indecipherable. Aziraphale had known what love felt like in this world. At least, he thought he understood it. He felt it all around him. He always had. Sometimes, it was stronger in particular places than in others. But, there was something blurred about it all if you looked too close. He’d realized that Heaven never felt like this, yet it’s where you were taught that it should exist. Aziraphale had started to wonder. He couldn’t decide when the thought first came around that perhaps the love he felt had actually been what was sifting between him and Crowley. At some point, it was easier to be humbled by the complacency of what they’d always been showing each other than outright admitting it for what it was. But that wasn't enough anymore.

Heaven's a Distance, Not a Place by Turcote (T)

The Apocalypse has come and gone, and Aziraphale knows it's finally time to tell Crowley how he really feels. Only, finding the perfect time to confess is proving to be more difficult than he anticipated... Or, 5 Times Aziraphale Almost Confessed His Feelings + the 1 Time He Finally Did.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? by theshoparoundthecorner (G)

“Bit of an odd tradition, if you ask me,” he said, if not to get his mind off the longing that had settled in his chest. Aziraphale shrugged. “I think it’s rather sweet. A kiss for good luck. Seems a nice way to start the year. Very human.” Crowley nodded. “Can’t seem to keep their hands off each other, that lot. Always finding excuses. First it’s mistletoe at Christmas, then it’s luck for the New Year…” “Well there’s no need to be so grouchy about it,” Aziraphale said. “I think it’s lovely.” Crowley’s heart ached a little more as he watched Aziraphale smile up at the glowing numbers on the building above them. Yeah, he thought, lovely. Five times Crowley thought about kissing Aziraphale on New Year's Eve, and one time he did.

Oh, Maker by voluptatiscausa (E)

"The humans are strange and graceful as they explore the garden, explore themselves, explore each other. The trouble is, the humans stare back, which makes him uncomfortable; there’s nothing particularly interesting about him. And, though he rarely admits it to himself, the humans make him lonely; he has no Other to explore." Or: how many times can you take a bath with your best friend before you kiss him?

And the one you mentioned...

She did look back, and I love her for that by Waterloo (M)

1666, LONDON, AFTER THE FIRE Oh fuck, he thinks. Oh fuck, he's in love. (A not-so-nice but entirely accurate account of two immortal beings throughout the millenia, replete with feelings.)

- Mod D

[ophelia-writes-fics]

you're screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man [kilgrave x reader - 18+]

A second run-in with Kilgrave leaves you reeling.

Tags (please read!): smut, fem!reader, AFAB!reader, mind control kink, mentions of marking during sex, fear, implied fear kink, degradation, some praise (but mostly mixed with degradation), humiliation, humiliation/degradation kink, hair pulling, edging, begging, frottage, handjobs, overstimulation, like a LOT of overstimulation, i cannot emphasize the overstimulation enough, possessiveness, light face slapping, mirror sex, riding, clit slapping, painplay, spanking, sadism (kilgrave), masochism (reader), multiple orgasms, a frankly unrealistic amount of orgasms

Word Count: ~6.3k

TWs/CWs:

super dubious consent. like last time, reader is into everything without being compelled (with one smallish exception if you squint?), but again, it's not negotiated

unprotected sex

mind control/mind altering

Kilgrave is still a walking red flag (and we love him anyways <3)

(as always, talk to your partners, get consent, etc :))

part one here

It had been a long, exhausting week since you last saw the man known only to you as Kilgrave. You hadn’t stopped thinking about him since your last encounter, not just because you’d had to take the next few days off of work afterwards — your boss was worried that getting up onstage covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks might send the wrong message to the patrons of the club. She’d been worried about you too, but you’d assured her that everything was fine. Which it was. The other reason you couldn’t stop thinking about him was because you desperately wanted to see him again. 

However, you still needed money, so having time off at your night job meant picking up evening shifts at your day job, which was bartending at a casino on the other side of town. It was Thursday, which meant the place was absolutely deserted, and the patrons who did show up were barely drinking anything. The past two hours of your shift had involved nothing but standing behind a bar, staring into space, and wiping down the pristine counter every few minutes in an attempt to look busy.

However, you were snapped out of your mindless rhythm when your coworker tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey,” she said, anxiously shifting from one foot to the other. “So, my break is coming up and I’m super tired and I really wanna take it, but there’s some weird shit going on in there.” She jerked her head towards the main room. “There’s this guy at the poker table? He keeps winning with the worst fucking hands I’ve ever seen, and it’s, like, insane amounts of money. Way more than I’ve ever seen anyone come in here with. Could you take over for me for, like, 20 minutes? And could you keep an eye on them and tell me what happens when I get back?” 

Damn it. 

There was one man you knew who could definitely win at high-stakes poker with the worst hands imaginable. You didn’t know for sure, but you had a sneaking suspicion that was only growing that you’d be seeing him sooner than you’d previously expected. 

You took the champagne bottle from your coworker’s hands without a second thought and walked into the main room, bracing yourself for whatever waited inside. 

The moment you stepped through the door, all your suspicions were confirmed. Even with his back turned to you, you could practically feel his presence in the air. 

Right there, holding court in the center of the room, sitting at the head of a table covered in poker chips and stacks of cash, was Kilgrave. 

You sighed. Goddamn it, you thought to yourself. As captivating as he was, you were still technically on the job, and you’d get fired if the house lost that much money on your watch. You’d get in extra trouble if anyone found out someone had cheated their way into getting it. Your mind raced as you tried to formulate a strategy. 

Okay. You can’t try to kick him out. If you call security, he’ll just tell them to fuck off and they will. You can’t tell the dealer, because there’s no way he’ll believe that the other players have been mind controlled. Besides, you can’t call attention to yourself. He’ll recognize you. Unless…

An idea clicked in your head. 

There’s no way he’d give up that kind of money, unless he had something better to tempt him.

You weren’t sure it would work, but if it did, well… it was a win-win situation, wasn’t it? 

You slowly crept up to the table. No one spared you more than a passing glance, including Kilgrave, whose eyes were firmly on the cards in front of him. You snuck a look over his shoulder as you approached. He really did have the worst hand imaginable. It was almost funny. 

You took a breath to steady yourself, then softly cleared your throat as you placed a hand on his shoulder. 

You’d been expecting a few different reactions, but you didn’t expect him to shake you off without even looking up. 

Oh, of course he’s a dick to waitresses. It deeply annoyed you that, somehow, this didn’t make you want to fuck him less. Irritated, without giving it a second thought, you gave him a light, backhanded smack on the arm. 

The table went silent. That got his attention. 

He turned around to face you. His expression, which had started as a mix of bewilderment and anger, quickly shifted to one of alarmed recognition. He blinked once, his brow furrowing. 

“It’s you,” he said, his tone unreadable. 

You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “It’s me,” you replied. 

Kilgrave stared you down for a moment. You desperately wanted to break eye contact, for him to forget you were ever there, to just go back to work, until suddenly, his expression changed slightly, and he turned to face the men at the table, setting his cards down. 

“Right. I’m leaving. Do not get up from this table, and don’t cheat. We’ll continue this game when I get back.”

He stood up and took your arm, pulling you away. 

“Are you really just going to leave them there?” You craned your neck to try and see if his command had worked, and sure enough, everyone remained seated and still. A knot formed in your stomach. 

He didn’t answer as he pulled you out of the room and down the hallway to the coat check, snapping his fingers at the employee behind the counter. 

“You. Take over for her. Serve champagne, clean tables, whatever it is she does.” Kilgrave plucked the bottle of champagne from your hand and thrust it at the checker. You hadn’t even realized you were still holding it. “Close the coat check. We’ll be going back there. Don’t bother us.” And with that, he breezed past, pulling you into the coatroom with him and slamming the door behind you both. 

The moment the door was shut, Kilgrave cornered you against a wall — not touching you, but close enough that he could grab you if you tried to leave. 

“What are you doing here?” he hissed. 

“I work here!” you replied indignantly. 

“Tell the truth.”

“I. Work. Here. It’s my day job.” 

His posture relaxed slightly, but he still didn’t step back. 

“Did you follow me here?” 

“No,” you answered, keeping your tone as calm as possible. You just hang around shady establishments a lot, apparently, you added silently. 

He leaned back a bit. 

“Why did you approach me?” 

“Because you were illegally winning a ton of money off the house and I don’t want to get fired,” you huffed, before somewhat reluctantly muttering, “And I wanted you to fuck me again.”

“Repeat that last bit?” 

“I wanted you to fuck me again,” you snapped, a bit louder than you’d meant to. “But frankly, right now I’m not in the mood anymore.”

He pursed his lips. “Why not?” 

“Because you’re keeping those people prisoner in there!”

“Which people?” 

You stared at him in disbelief, trying to gauge whether or not he was messing with you. Shockingly, his confusion seemed completely sincere. “Those men at the poker table. Are you just going to make them sit there for however long you’re gone?” 

He glanced in the direction of the casino and sighed with irritation, as if he’d just remembered they were there, before shaking it off with a slight roll of his eyes. 

“Forget about them. Come upstairs with me.”

Your brain filled with that all-too-familiar cold fog. It felt like you had tripped going up the stairs - your whole body was thrown off balance, your heart raced, and your thoughts raced to catch up after the interruption. What had you been thinking about? Something about the main room? 

You must have been worried about someone covering for your coworker. Yes, that seemed right. He’d told someone to do it, hadn’t he? Yes, he had. Then it was fine. There was nothing to worry about. 

With that, your brain fog cleared, and your worries went with it. You realized you were trailing behind him as he walked towards the elevators. 

As you passed the entrance to the casino itself, you turned your head slightly and peeked into the room. You cocked your head. Huh. I wonder what all those guys are doing just sitting at that table. I don’t think they were there before.

-

When the elevator arrived at the top floor, Kilgrave walked ahead of you along the hallway to the penthouse suite at the very end, pointing you towards the bed once you were inside. 

You grinned, reclining on your back and supporting yourself on your elbows as you kicked off your shoes, watching him shrug off his jacket and undo his belt before sitting down at the armchair in the corner of the room. 

He then turned his gaze toward you and clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Stand up,” he ordered, as if it should have been obvious. You obeyed, and it felt like second nature by now. You felt the cold hardwood floor under your feet, even through your stockings, and you couldn’t help but turn your gaze slightly downward as he observed you, scanning you up and down for any imperfections. 

He sighed. “No, no, this won’t do.” 

Your heart dropped. He couldn’t be bored of you already, could he? You felt slightly panicky, as the reality of what he could do caught up to you again. Would he make you forget everything you’d done that day? Forget he existed? Would he kill you? Your mind raced as you tried to figure out if you could run before he ordered you to do anything. You felt your muscles tensing, preparing to bolt at a moment’s notice. 

“Take off your clothes,” he commanded, keeping his dark eyes on you. 

Your whole body flooded with relief and arousal. You briefly scolded yourself as you quickly stripped out of your uniform, the rational side of your brain reminding you that worrying that he was going to kill you if he was even slightly dissatisfied with you is probably a red flag before the horny side of your brain dismissed the thought with a well, he didn’t, and you don’t know he would, so it’s probably fine. 

You stood bare before him, hands clasped in front of you, obediently awaiting his instructions. He beckoned you over with a small motion of his finger, and you sank to your knees in front of him. You fidgeted nervously as he watched you, biting your lip as you worked up the nerve to ask him for what you wanted most. 

“Could you, um…could you do that…thing again?” 

His brows raised slightly. “What ‘thing’?” 

“The thing where you…um…command me, or whatever it is you call it. The mind control thing.” You hesitated before adding a quiet “please.” 

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, if you were expecting any response at all, but one of the last items on your list of things you were expecting to come out of Kilgrave’s mouth was a short, shocked, high-pitched laugh. A grin spread across his face as he stared down at you, and you felt a fluttering in your chest. 

“You really would let me do whatever I want to you.” It was a statement, not a question, but you nodded vigorously anyway. “God, that’s disgusting. You’re so desperate to get off that you’d cum your brains out if I mind controlled you?!” 

You squirmed, face burning as you clenched your thighs, and he laughed again. You felt pathetic, and it made your cunt ache for him. 

He considered you for a moment—you could practically feel him wondering what exactly he should do with you— before stretching one leg in out front of him, positioning himself so that the toe of his brand-new, expensive-looking leather dress shoe was just barely starting to press into your clit. You kept completely still, waiting for his orders, your body alight with anticipation.

“You want to get off that badly, then do it,” Kilgrave said, his bored tone only thinly veiling his enthusiasm to watch. 

You wasted no time, desperately rubbing yourself against him the minute you were permitted to, grinding your sensitive clit against the black leather. You bit your lip, moaning in humiliated arousal at the feeling, watching as your pussy dripped with need all over the supple material as you fucked yourself stupid. 

You felt Kilgrave’s hand in your hair, pulling you closer and shoving your cheek against his knee, holding you in place and keeping your eyes on him as you rutted against him. 

“You’re filthy,” he rasped, pressing his foot into your clit harder as you watched his arousal grow. “You’re disgusting, getting off like this, riding my fucking shoe, it’s fucking vile. God, I just want to watch you do that for hours…and you would, wouldn’t you? If I ordered you, you’d do it. I don’t think I’d even have to control you, I think you just want it that badly. Such a depraved little thing, aren’t you?” 

You nodded, and he smiled at you. 

“Of course you are. Keep going. Don’t you dare stop. I don’t care how sore you get, you’re going to keep going until you wear yourself out. Do you hear me?” He pulled your hair tighter, turning your face to him for emphasis. “Nod if you understand me.” 

You obeyed, feeling the friction against your cheek as you nodded again. You kept going, desperately chasing your orgasm, your senses blurring into a pleasured haze as your eyes rolled back, when without warning, your whole body seized, harshly stopping your motions. It took your brain a moment to process that Kilgrave had told you to stop. You looked up at him, and you must have looked as betrayed as you felt, because a self-satisfied smile appeared across his face. 

“Oh, sorry,” he mocked, mimicking your affronted pout before his grin returned. “It just looked like you were getting close. I wanted to remind you that I didn’t say you could cum.” 

You whined in protest, but the sound was cut off when Kilgrave pressed his hand over your mouth. He leaned back once you were quiet, his detached demeanor only slightly interrupted by the visible outline of his hard cock in his pants. 

“Keep going, but don’t cum. You don’t deserve it yet.” 

You obeyed. Of course you did. Your body betrayed you, automatically stopping you before you could cum, each time getting just that little bit closer before it was ripped away, over and over again until you lost count. It was torture, and although you would have done anything for it to end, you couldn’t get enough, drinking in every sensation at once. All the while, Kilgrave watched you intently, only speaking when you began to beg after what you thought was your seventh time being edged, although you’d long since lost count. 

“Kilgrave, p-please, I can’t anymore, it’s too much, I’m going to break, I can’t take any more!” 

He gave you a mocking little frown in response. “What a shame. I thought you were tougher than that.” 

“I am, I can be! I just — ahh! Please, please, I just want it so bad…” 

“Oh, is that it? You just want it so badly? In that case…” He patted your head, which would have made you melt if it hadn’t been so condescending. “You can make yourself useful, can’t you? Use that empty head of yours and think of something you can do to earn it.” 

You didn’t dare stop rubbing against him, afraid you’d be punished if you stopped edging yourself for even a moment, so you kept going, the torturous friction of the fabric of his trousers against your clit making your heart pound as you leaned forward to undo his belt and take his cock in your hand. 

He offered nothing more than a small moan from between clenched teeth in response, but that was all you needed. You stroked his cock, slowly and gently at first, watching him as closely as you could. You followed every cue his body gave you - every small motion, every sharp breath, every thrust of his hips - chasing them, desperate for more. You wanted to earn it. You needed to earn it. Your body longed for it like oxygen, longed for approval, for your orgasm, for his cock finally inside you again. 

You stroked him harder; slow, steady motions that lavished him with attention and calmed your shaking hands. Judging by the way he gripped the arm of the chair, he seemed to be nearly as close as you were. You sped up both your hips and your hand, trying to finish him off before he could rip your pleasure away again, moving entirely on instinct and desperation. However, as you neared your peak, you felt his hand on your wrist, pulling you away. You looked up, your vision slightly cloudy, prepared to beg him not to stop you, but the command never came. All he did was look back at you, eagerly watching as you fucked yourself against him. 

You refused to let your opportunity slip away. Unless he forced you not to, then you were going to cum. You sped up, ignoring the ache in your muscles. Your hips stuttered and ground against him harder, rubbing your clit with short, rough little thrusts. Your vision was completely out of focus now, your eyes half-lidded — your brain was too fucked out to function properly, let alone see clearly. Every bit of your body burned, but all you could do was keep going and going and going, getting closer and closer, your breath coming in quick gasps as you rapidly approached your peak, and he still didn’t stop you.  

Your entire body tensed as your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, muscles trembling from being clenched so tightly for so unbearably long. You gave a strangled moan that became a wail as the sensation fully washed over you, and you collapsed against Kilgrave, your hips still erratically jerking against him. You felt overwhelming relief as he let go of your hair; the sudden loss of tension made you realize how tightly he’d been holding on. He shoved your chin upward with his knee, forcing you to make eye contact. 

“Get on the bed,” he ordered, and your stomach dropped. You were thoroughly worn out and so overstimulated it hurt, but the look in Kilgrave’s eyes told you that you weren’t getting a break. 

You clambered unsteadily to your feet, nearly falling twice, legs still shaking. You barely managed to get upright enough to collapse facedown onto the duvet. 

You moaned weakly, feeling Kilgrave’s hands around your hips before he flipped you over so that you were facing him. He leaned in close, lips nearly touching yours, his hands holding your wrists in place by your head, his cock pressing against your clit in a way that had you fighting your own instincts to squirm away from the overstimulation.  

“Now, did you follow my orders from last time?” 

Your mind raced to clear away the exhaustion as you tried to remember the request he’d given you the last time you met, and you nodded. “I haven’t slept with anyone else,” you panted as you tried to catch your breath. 

“Hmm,” Kilgrave purred, letting go of one wrist to tangle his fingers in your hair. “And why is that?” 

You blinked in confusion. “Because…you told me to?” 

Kilgrave clicked his tongue once in disapproval. “No, no, that can’t be it,” he said, his expression one of feigned contemplation. “Any order I give wears off after twelve hours. You wouldn’t know that, of course,” he gave you a quick glance before continuing, “So you must have not wanted to.” 

For some reason, you’d assumed that his commands lasted longer. Looking back, it was odd that you couldn’t tell when whatever power he had wore off. But he was right, you supposed. Whether the thought was originally yours or not, you hadn’t wanted to fuck anyone else for at least six days after the command would have worn off, so you hadn’t. 

You nodded in agreement, a bit dazed. It was so hard to focus with him touching you. 

“And why didn’t you want to?” 

That you didn’t have an answer prepared for. 

“Um…I…just didn’t?” Your response came out like a question. 

“Hmm, not quite.” Kilgrave tilted his head slightly to one side, waiting for another answer, but when you stayed quiet, he leaned in further, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. 

“The correct answer,” he whispered, his tone growing dangerous, “is that you don’t want to fuck anyone else because you’re mine. Isn’t that right?” 

The familiar brain fog took over as you felt a warmth in the pit of your stomach. “Yes, it is,” you replied instinctually. 

“Then say it.” 

“I’m yours, Kilgrave.” 

“Again.” 

“I’m yours! Now please, please fuck me, or I swear to god I’ll—“

“You’ll what?” His tone darkened. 

You bit your lip. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what you could do against him. You couldn’t overpower him. You wouldn’t ever want to. 

He reached up and slapped your face — lightly, but hard enough to know that he wasn’t afraid to take things further if you didn’t cooperate. 

“Answer me, slut. What exactly are you going to do to me if I don’t fuck you right now?” 

Your mouth opened of its own accord at his command. “Nothing,” you choked out. “I won’t do anything. I’ll be good.” 

Kilgrave rewarded you with a satisfied “hmm” and a smug smile before pulling away. 

“Show me your neck,” he ordered. 

Confused and a bit terrified, but in no position to argue, you craned your chin upward, closing your eyes as you exposed your most vulnerable flesh to the man above you. You could feel your pulse jump, just below your sensitive skin. You couldn’t hold back a shiver when Kilgrave ran his fingertips, gently and slowly, down the column of your throat, over the nearly-faded bruises he’d left the last time you saw each other. 

He went still for a moment, lingering on the prints of his fingers on your skin before pressing down ever-so-slightly. 

You gasped, but managed to keep yourself from squirming as Kilgrave wrapped his slender hand around your neck, not hard enough to choke you, but enough to make you need to take a deeper breath than normal. You squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your thighs together and willing yourself to be patient, before you felt Kilgrave’s other hand shove your legs apart before slamming two fingers into you. Your body jerked involuntarily as he roughly scissored them, thrusting them in and out a few times before pulling away entirely and sitting down on the edge of the bed. You glanced up at him, slightly confused. 

“Come here,” he ordered, patting his leg in a clear invitation for you. “Face the mirror.”

You obeyed, struggling to move on your still-shaky legs, situating yourself so that your back was to him as you lowered yourself onto his lap. You gasped as you felt Kilgrave press his cock into you as you did so, impatiently forcing you backwards so that he was buried deep in your cunt with barely a moment for you to adjust to the feeling of him inside you. His hands grasped your inner thighs, pulling them apart roughly so that you had no choice but to watch yourself being fucked. He leaned in close, biting your neck before ordering: 

“Ride me. I don’t care if your legs hurt. Don’t stop fucking yourself until I tell you to.”

You were in no position to disobey. You moved as best you could, still trying to stay as close as possible to him, grinding your hips against his lap, closing your eyes as you felt him hit your most sensitive spot. He moved his legs so that they were keeping yours wide open, pinning you right where he wanted you. He grabbed your chin roughly and forced your half-lidded gaze towards the mirror on the wall in front of you. 

“Look at yourself. Look at you, getting fucked by a complete stranger. It’s pathetic. I absolutely ruined you the last time we met and you loved it so much, you just couldn’t help but bother me while I was working, eh? Oh, you must have been desperate for me,” he murmured through clenched teeth as he fucked into you, jerking his hips upward. “No one else can fuck you like this, can they? I’m the only one who can control you the way you love so much, so I’m the only one who gets to fuck you. Isn’t that right?”

There was that possessiveness again, making your heart beat faster than it already was. You reached upward, clutching the hand that held your face, and leaned back into him. 

“Fuck, yes, yes, yes, I’m yours, I’m yours, Kilgrave…” 

His name fell from your lips like a prayer as he fucked you. You worked your hips, bouncing up and down on his cock. Your eyes stayed glued to yourself in the mirror, staring at your fucked-out reflection, thoroughly mesmerized by the sight of his dick inside you. One of his hands wandered to your hip, gripping it hard; you could feel his nails digging little crescent marks in your skin. His other hand found its place at your clit, delicately massaging it with light, little circles, teasing you, tormenting you.

You arched your back in a silent plea for more, your moan becoming a sharp yelp when his hand came down hard and slapped your clit at full force. 

Your legs automatically tried to close, but Kilgrave had you firmly kept in place. He leaned upward, pulling you close, your back pressed firmly against his chest. 

“Oh, what’s the matter, sweetheart? Is it too much?” 

You paused, considering it, then nodded weakly, your eyes screwed shut. Your heart had skipped a beat at the pet name, but you had more pressing matters at hand. 

“Really? You came like a whore when I hit you with a fucking belt, but if I slap your cunt just a bit too hard, then you start whining?” 

You nodded again, feeling thoroughly humiliated. 

Kilgrave hummed in satisfaction. “Mmm. That’s too bad, I suppose. You’ll have to learn to like it.” 

You whimpered and writhed as another hit came, then  another. You moaned, starting to feel the stinging pain give way to a wave of pleasure, but still you trembled, completely overwhelmed. 

“See? Look at you. You’re desperate for it. I know how much you love it when I hit you. Stop squirming and let me give you what you want.” 

Your body relaxed involuntarily, eyes automatically locking onto yourself in the mirror. Again his hand came down, and your hips jumped forward, anticipating it.

You bit your lip as the stinging pain slowly settled into a pleasurable tingling feeling, watching as your clit grew bright red and slightly swollen as Kilgrave kept going, slap after slap after slap until you were gasping for air, jerking your hips against nothing in a desperate bid to cum, your head spinning. 

He stroked your clit with the tip of his index finger, just the barest of touches, but it was enough to make you flinch at the sensitivity. You groaned, but you still thrust your hips forward, wanting more. 

“Oh, look at that. Feels good, doesn’t it? Greedy fucking whore.” He punctuated the sentence with one final, harsh slap before pulling out and moving you off his lap.

You tumbled limply, until you landed in the middle of the bed, facedown and panting, feeling your abused clit throb pleasurably with every heartbeat. You didn’t even have time to try and take a full breath before you felt Kilgrave position himself above you, his cock brushing at your entrance. 

 “Are you gonna be good for me?” he murmured close to your ear. 

You nodded, and you felt him lean closer, his teeth grazing your neck before he spoke again. 

“Then tell me what you’re going to let me do.” 

You exhaled a moan before taking a shaky breath in. “Whatever you want to do. I can take it.”

“Is that so?” 

“Mm-hmm,” you sighed. You wriggled your hips, trying to maneuver yourself back onto his cock. “Just fuck me, I’ve been thinking about you all week — oh my fucking god!” 

Kilgrave had grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back, forcing himself inside of you with a deep moan that was almost a growl as he did so. You frantically moved to match his pace, throwing your hips back against his to meet every brutal thrust. Your eyes rolled back as you felt him fuck against your most sensitive spot, over and over and over again, never letting up, never faltering. 

He slapped your ass once, twice, three times before ordering you to cum. No teasing, no making you beg, just one simple order: “Cum.” And you obeyed, grinding out your orgasm, keening with pleasure as you did so. 

It was nearly a full minute before your brain started working again and you realized he hadn’t stopped fucking you. Your thoughts were hazy, but you had the vague feeling that that was odd. You remembered last time, and how he’d refused to let you cum until he was right on the edge. So, you mused vaguely, you’d figured he was close, but he was still going.

However, you didn’t have any time to think about it any further, because he was ordering you to cum again - the same way, just one blunt command. 

“Cum.” 

And your body obeyed without warning. 

You normally needed more time between orgasms; your body was still reeling from the last one. And yet, you still found yourself cumming, trembling from the force of it, your cunt clenching onto him desperately. 

Your shaky hands faltered where they gripped the sheets and you briefly scrambled to try and hold yourself upright, but your efforts were in vain. The minute you thought your body was stable, the command came again. 

“Cum.”

This time, you completely let go. There was no way you could have even tried to hold yourself together. The pleasure was blinding you, making your heart skip a beat as it raced in your chest. You fell forward, burying your face in the sheets. The only thing holding your hips upright was Kilgrave, his grip on you holding firm even as you convulsed, unable to regain control of your exhausted muscles.

You were nearly hyperventilating now, your breath coming fast and hard as you turned your face to the side and desperately tried to get words out. 

“Wh…what…what the f….fuck are y…you…doing to me?”

You couldn’t see Kilgrave, but you heard the grin in his voice, even as he panted with the exertion of fucking you. 

“You said I could do whatever I wanted. What I want is to see how many times you can cum before you tire yourself out. I’m not going to stop until you can’t move, and you don’t get my cum inside you until then. Besides, being mind controlled makes you a complete slut anyway, doesn’t it? You’d do it, whether I commanded you to or not. Now be a good girl and cum.”

And your body obeyed without question. 

You bit down on the sheets to keep from biting your tongue, half-pained moans of overwhelming bliss escaping from your throat in guttural, needy cries. You couldn’t feel your legs anymore; you had no idea how your lower half was still upright, and you could feel every nerve in your overstimulated cunt begging for a moment of rest that never came. 

For what felt like hours and hours, every time you started to come down from your last orgasm, Kilgrave would order another from you, and you had no choice but to comply. Eventually, your shaking legs gave in, but he just maneuvered you onto your back without hesitation and kept going. 

Around the time of what you thought must have been the eighth one (although there was no way you could have kept track at that point), you mustered every single bit of your strength to try and resist his orders. You held out for as long as you possibly could, letting the cold fog fill your head for as much as you could bear it, your entire body shaking with the effort, until you cracked and the torturous pleasure flooded you, leaving you even more of a wreck than you had been before. Even worse (even better?), the feeling of being mind-controlled by him acted like a direct line to your brain’s pleasure center, and trying to disobey only made the feeling intensify the longer you tried to resist. Whenever you finally let go, your orgasms only got stronger. And the stronger they got, the more vicious Kilgrave became, taunting you as he fucked your dripping cunt: 

“Oh, yes, take it, just like that, we both know how much you love getting fucked like this…oh, are you trying to resist again? That’s precious. Fine, struggle all you like, you know you’re going to cum anyway, don’t you? There you are, just cum for me. Let it all out. It feels so good, doesn’t it? I know, it feels so good for you to be treated like a slut. God, look at your cute little cunt, leaking all over me, making such a fucking mess. Keep taking it. This is where you belong, isn’t it? Getting impaled on my cock. You’re all mine, all fucking mine. Cum for me, cum for me…such a good girl…fuck, you’re so tight, how are you still so tight after being fucked for this long? It’s like you were made for me, made to get fucked by me. God, I love hearing you scream for me…I don’t even think I’d have to tell you to cum at this point, I think you’d just keep going all on your own, wouldn’t you? Mmm, of course you would. But I know what you’d like more than that. You want me to order you to, don’t you? Come on, beg for it…ask nicely…there you go, I’ve trained you so well, haven’t I? Go on then, cum for me…”

Finally, finally, long after every single one of your senses had been dulled into near-nonexistence, long after your dripping pussy had gone numb with overstimulation, and long after you stopped being able to process anything Kilgrave said, your jerking muscles gave into exhaustion and collapsed, leaving you unable to do anything but moan quietly, your voice having gone hoarse ages ago.

As your cunt twitched weakly with what you prayed would be your final orgasm of the night, you felt Kilgrave’s grasp on you tighten. Through your blurred vision, you saw him throw his head back in ecstasy as he came deep, deep inside you. 

Your eyes rolled back and your lids fluttered shut as he pulled out of you, the relief so intense you would have cried if you hadn’t been so worn out. 

You heard soft footsteps as he made his way to the side of the bed, then felt his hand brush something wet from the corner of your mouth. You felt slightly embarrassed at the realization that you were so fucked out that you’d started drooling. 

You mustered your last bit of energy to crack one eye slightly open. 

“Thank you,” you sighed, your lips curving into a smile as your eyes shut again. You thought you felt a hand brush your hair, but you couldn’t tell - you were already half asleep and dreaming. 

-

When you woke up, it was well past midnight. Your shift had ended hours ago. You groaned as you stretched your sore muscles and rolled over in bed. You were briefly surprised at the realization that you were under the covers, before deciding that you must have pulled them up around you in your sleep. You didn’t let yourself consider the alternative, or that you’d woken up in the exact same position you’d fallen asleep in. 

You blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust your vision to the dark. You weren’t expecting to see Kilgrave there, but his absence still caused a slight pang of hurt. Still, you figured, no one had come up to clean out the room or kick you out since he had, so he had at least booked it for the night. You decided to take advantage of it as your exhaustion caught up with you again and you sank back into a deep, deep sleep.  

-

You woke up a full twelve hours later at noon the next day. Thank god it’s my day off, you thought to yourself as you gingerly got out of bed. You slowly put on your uniform, picking it up from where you’d left it on the floor, wincing as you moved. Still, despite the slight ache that you felt all over, you’d slept better than you had in ages. 

As you smoothed your skirt down, you felt an odd texture inside one of the pockets, a slight crinkling that gave you pause. You felt your heartbeat quicken as you pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. You slowly, anxiously unfolded it to find three sentences written in pencil. The first was an address — based on the street name, you knew it was downtown, in an incredibly expensive neighborhood. You felt a grin spread across your face as you read the rest of the note:

“Save me the trouble of coming to your job again. 8:00 pm tomorrow.

-K.”

You knew exactly where you were going to be tomorrow.

A/N: i literally cannot thank you guys enough for sticking with this, i know the wait has been absolutely insane, but i really do love writing for you guys, and i want to thank each and every one of you for reading <3 as always, my requests are open, and feel free to like/comment/rb if you enjoyed this fic :)) thank you all again for your patience and for all the love - i had NO idea my first kilgrave fic would blow up so much, but i'm delighted that it did!

🍓 the title of this fic is from million dollar man by lana del rey 🍓

[nivalingreenhow]

Here is my unnecessarily long deep dive into the Claymore timeline, which is just a way to try and figure out how old they all are.

first, is the tl;dr bullet points (more explanation under the cut)

Male era lasts for maybe a few years, but maybe less, as Riful is a warrior before Isley, Dauf, or Rigaldo awaken.

There is an undetermined amount of time before Teresa’s era, but it is likely a long time, given how many Number ones happened during that time (four of them during this time were stronger than the Abyssal ones, implying the existence of many others who were not as powerful)

Cassandra and Roxanne happened before Luciela, but we can’t know how long before

Luciela and Hysteria were likely back to back since Teresa was a trainee when Luciela awakened and a new warrior when Hysteria goes out.

Rosemary is only Number 1 for a short time, quicky overtaken by Teresa.

Teresa is Number 1 for a long time, maybe even a decade. She is well known among other warriors, even after her time. She is very familiar with Irene, suggesting they were trainees together. Both seem ‘older’ than other warriors in terms of maturity and introspection

The time between Teresa’s death and the start of the manga is about 5-6 years, based on Clare’s physical appearance.

This means Irene is a milf by the end of the manga

The era a male claymore probably didn’t last very long, given their limitations with awakening too soon. We see that Riful comes along before Isley, Rigaldo, and Dauf have awakened. There is not necessarily anything to actually support this, but I feel like she awakened rather quickly, too. She just seems to be the type to not ever hold back.

After this, we have a handful of number ones that have somewhat of a history in canon, however, we are not given their exact order unless we go in the order they’re introduced by the Organization. We have the names Licht, Chloe, Sistina, and Lutecia. We know there are more Number ones than this, as these are mentioned as specifically being more powerful than the three Abyssal Ones. We can assume these four came before the next set, which we do have some sort of timeline we can follow.

We know Cassandra comes before Roxanne, and we know they both come before Hysteria because Hysteria and Teresa overlap. We can also assume that Luciela came before Hysteria since Luciela awakened when Teresa was still a trainee, but Hysteria was killed when Teresa was a full warrior. What we can infer from this is that Hysteria was No. 1 for several years. Teresa appears to be about 11 or so when she encounters Rafaela after Luciela awakens, though we do not know how long this is after Luciela awakened. Teresa is a fully fledged warrior once she encounters Hysteria, implying several years have passed. Time in the manga is…blurred, but it is mentioned (if not necessarily shown) that training takes years and years before warriors are actually let out on their own.

I also have the personal HC that Irene was a trainee at the same time as Teresa, but did not immediately get a single digit rank. I like to think she actually had difficulty with control at first, which led to her signature technique. She over compensated, and as such, was able to keep the tightest control over her yoki. It’s made very clear that Teresa does NOT have relationships with other warriors, that she does not socialize with them or get to know them. However, she is very familiar with Irene, suggesting they have some sort of history, however you want to read it. Irene also knows so much about her which could be because of two reasons. One: Irene is obsessed with/in love with Teresa or two: Irene makes it a point to know everything she possibly can about her opponents and her teammates so she can assess their strengths and weaknesses and formulate the best plan possible. I personally think it’s a combination of both. When she speaks with Clare, she has clearly thought a LOT about Teresa’s emotional wellbeing outside of just her tactical abilities. In turn, when Teresa awakens through Clare, she recognizes Irene’s arm immediately. Regardless of what their relationship was, I would argue that after Clare, Irene may have been the person who knew Teresa the best. If Priscilla had followed directions, Irene’s plan to kill Teresa would have worked. (Sorry, that became a tangent lol, but it is meant to explain my reasoning for thinking Irene and Teresa were in training together).

Rosemary is only number one for a hot second before Teresa surpasses her. This could have even been just a matter of weeks or months. We can assume she awakened and sent her black card to Teresa soon after.

Now, translations have Teresa listed as the 182nd Claymore of the 77th generation in the Organization, however, I’ve seen some argument that this translation is not entirely accurate and could just be a date or time stamp. It does seem unlikely that there have been 77 generations of Claymore. Despite this, I believe Teresa was Number 1 for a long time. Maybe a decade. It seems that at her time, the top warriors are rather stable, with Irene being well known in her position, and Noel and Sophia being very familiar with each other, as well. Sophia states it’s been a while since she’s seen Irene. They’re all shocked when Priscilla comes along and shakes up the ranking, implying that those ranks have stood for some time. Teresa gives off the vibe of someone who has been stuck or a while, who is going through the motions, who is very comfortable (in a bad way) in what she’s doing. Irene, as well. Both their techniques allow them to keep on when other warriors may have awakened. Teresa doesn’t use her yoki at all outside of fighting Rosemary and Priscilla. This means she is more than likely never going to reach her limit. Irene has become exceptional at controlling her yoki, arguably better than any other warrior. The two of them could have been warriors indefinitely. Teresa also remarks it’s been a while since she’s seen Irene. She doesn’t give an indication that she has any such recognition of the others.

We all know what happens next and we DON’T need to talk about it.

Anyway, the next Number One is likely Alicia. I doubt there was anyone else who would be promoted above them. With the loss of the top five warriors all at once, the Organization would have been forced to take drastic measures. As a Number 5, Elda would not have been suited for Number 1, but it seems she was likely promoted as Rafaela takes the Number 5 spot. At this time, Clare is also around 11 or 12, and as a warrior, she looks to be more in her late teens. The time between Teresa’s death and the start of the Manga is likely 5 or 6 years. Claymore don’t age, but it does seem like they continue to mature until they are adults, as both Teresa and Clare are shown as children even after going through the operation but are also shown as mature adults later.  

After this point, we have a much more definitive timeline, so there isn’t much need to go into it. I mainly wanted to do this exercise so I could think about how old Teresa and Irene are during the events of the Manga. I always headcanon that Teresa is around thirty, Irene a little bit younger perhaps, when Priscilla awakens. This would make Irene around 35 more than likely when she encounters Clare again and over forty by the end of the manga. She and Teresa just exude more maturity than a lot of the other warriors, suggesting they are older than the typical late teens/early twenties of most of the other warriors. Others who reach a more mature age would be Rafaela (obviously), who is likely forty or so when she merges with her sister. Galatea probably is around 30 as Sister Latea. She and Miria come off as older than the other Ghosts. I’d say Miria is a similar age. Clare would be around 23/24 after the time skip, with Helen and Deneve being a few years older, but still younger than Miria. Just going off rank and personality, I’d say Cynthia is around the same age as Deneve, while Yuma and Tabitha are closer to Clare’s age, though maybe a bit older. Alicia and Beth are also probably pretty old for warriors. If we assume they were full adults when Priscilla wakens, say 20, then they’d be over 30 after the time skip.

It is very heavily implied that most warriors do not last long, that especially lower ranks get cycled out very quickly as they either reach their limits or are killed in battle. The higher ranks are logically more likely to have greater control of their yoki and greater chances of surviving their assignments. These ranks are likely more stable, leading to single digit warriors being older and wiser. Reading through the manga, it does become clear that Norihiro Yagi plays fast and loose with the canon timeline, so I have tried to go through this in a logical way that makes sense with what we know in canon and what would be the most realistic timeline, ignoring plot holes or inconsistencies. It makes sense that training takes years. Being strong and fast does not mean you are skilled with a sword. Warriors are generally weaker than full yoma, but they have exceptional sword skills that give them the advantage. For context, in medieval times, it took over 7 years of training for someone to become a knight. In Japan, samurai trained for even longer. Yoma blood could have sped up this timeline, but if we combine this knowledge with Clare and Teresa’s physical differences from trainees to warriors, it looks to be at least 5 years, if not longer. Sometimes, there is this feeling in the manga that number one warriors turn over quickly, but logically, they must last for a while typically. I think Yagi got caught up in the story, which is easy to do when writing such a long story over so many years, and lost sight of what a logical progression of warriors would look like. So, I think from Teresa’s rise to number one to the end of the manga was roughly 20-25 years.

Anyway, this was a long unnecessary justification for me to draw Irene as a milf.

Please let me know if you have thoughts, if you agree with my assessment, if you disagree. More than anything, I love looking at this manga and discussing all the missing pieces, trying to make it all fit together.

[therethatstar]

pondphuwin au in which phuwin has a lot of feelings for pond , doesn’t know how to deal with them and kind of goes about it in all the wrong ways.

this is also my attempt to write a cute little pondphuwin au and instead it’s a big mess of angst and like …. how did we get here. who knows.

here is an unedited snippet and there are more that i will officially post on ao3…. whenever it’s ready lol

—

The first time Phuwin met Pond, he felt his breath knocked out of his chest, a little starstruck, a little bit like he was tipping over into an inevitable void, a little bit like the stars and the universe came crashing down. Perhaps, it wasn’t as dramatic but it had felt like it. Like he was made of a night sky and someone had reached out and plucked the star right out of his chest, leaving a trail of something so indestructible, staining his body of flesh with its permanent residue.

And the first time Pond smiled at Phuwin, something within Phuwin had become irreversible, like his soul has been anchored from the chaos of the universe, and if someone were to follow the string of his heart to its counterpoint, it’ll land right where the muscle is beating, vibrating, resonating in Pond’s chest. Pond and the way he was gleaming at Phuwin with thousand beacons of light as if he had stolen all of the stars in the constellation until he had them glittering in his eyes.

And the first time he held Pond’s hand, he just remembered the way it had kept aching, the way it had craved to reach and reach just to feel Pond’s burning skin against his own again. And again. As if there was an equation that had made sense to him from the very beginning, something that he had formulated in his head, the way he got two hands, four if he added them up with Pond’s, one to hold onto each other and the other to hold on for the ride. And it has always been like this, in every single momentous moment of his life, there was always Pond’s hand that had held onto him along each step, hand that had kept him grounded since the moment this all started.

And it’s always been like this. Pond and Phuwin. Phuwin and Pond. Two peas in a pod of some sort. Two souls that are so tangible, like even the universe wouldn’t be able to tell where one begins and the other one ends.

And things have always been like this. Just the two of them. Until it isn’t anymore. Until they have grown older. Until they meet other people. And humans are humans and greed is a part of the human’s nature, something that stitched deep in our instinctive behaviors, genetically hard-wired since birth. And Phuwin is made of many things. Perhaps, greed is one of them.

—

The city light flickering outside of their hotel window as they wash a colorful glow on Pond’s cheekbones, softening the sharp edge into something smoother, like tender loving. The light was always such a gentle embrace against Pond, and Phuwin can’t help but to be envious towards something inanimate. Pond looks impossibly more delicate like this, and Phuwin tries to keep his constant staring at its bare minimum. Keep himself from drowning in his own thoughts.

“You’re okay?” Pond asks him from where he’s lying on the bed, beside him. “You look like you’re thinking up a storm.”

Phuwin wants to laugh at the irony of that statement. Because it has always been Pond who is always thinking up a storm in his head, making up every possible scenario that might never even happen. Maybe certain habits of Pond’s are rubbing off on him, Phuwin supposes it’s very likely considering the amount of time they have been spending together.

He keeps thinking back to the conversation he has overheard earlier, something about Pond being seen with another girl from the company. Phunwin had seen the photos floating around on twitter, had felt the itch to ask Pond but it felt too intriguing. Like he’s stepping over some kind of boundaries that he’s not supposed to. Like there are things that Pond and him talk about and there are things that are off limits. And this feels like it’s one of the latter.

So instead, Phuwin just says, “nothing. Just nervous for the fanmeet tomorrow, I guess.”

Pond laughs, “that’s unlike you. You don’t get nervous.”

“Of course I do,” Phuwin frowns, tone a little more harsh than he had intended, “I just don’t show it. Doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous. ”

“You don’t really show anything.”

There’s a shift between them. For a while now. As if all they have been doing is tiptoeing around each other. Like they’re stuck in a volcano of unspoken words that is just waiting to erupt. Destroying both of them until they’re drained out of blood, ashes amidst the casualties from the explosion.

The words float heavy between them and shake the stillness with a dynamic tension, a fist crawling up his throat that makes it hard for oxygen to reach his lungs and a coherent response to formulate in his beclouded minded. They haven’t been having any schedule together for a while prior to the fanmeet and this is the first time he’s properly looking at Pond in weeks, and Phuwin doesn’t miss the gray patch of sleeping bags lining the bottom of his eyes like bruises, a blemish just at the side of his face that wasn’t there when Phuwin last saw him, and his bangs has gotten slightly longer now, draping over his eyes that makes Phuwin itch to brush it away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Phuwin says defensively, feigning oblivion. Because he has no right to be defensive when it was always his intention to hide away his feelings.

Pond sits up on the bed now, sighing with so much force his shoulders slump with fatigue, hand coming up to comb his bangs back and relieving Phuwin of the urge. He looks like a soul wrung out of all of its energy, a light bulb just waiting to flicker off, such an evident contrast to how he looked just moments ago. As if Phuwin had exhausted the light out of him, taking the stars out of his eyes, and Phuwin’s heart suddenly aches to apologize for falling in love with him.

“Nothing,” Pond finally mutters softly, jaded as he starts to push himself off the bed like he suddenly wants to be anywhere but here.

Phuwin’s hand seems to have a mind of its own because in one instant, he’s picking up his bleeding heart up from the floor, and in the next, he’s trying hard to swallow it down as he reaches out to grab Pond’s wrist with cold fingers to tug him back, the fear of losing everything rising high in his throat as the shock of warmth and the stuttering pulse washes shivers down each knob of his spine.

“Don’t–” Phuwin starts but he has always had a problem with timing.

Pond’s wrist is already in his grasp, tangible and fracturing. The force of the pull is laden with so much raw desperation to keep him from leaving that it paints astonishment on Pond’s face only inches from his own when he stumbles forward, hands reach out to press his palms flat on the bed at each side of Phuwin’s head, steadying himself as his body hovers over Phuwin’s very own trembling one.

It’s not the first time they’re breathing the same air, they have kissed on camera to the point that they have both lost counts. But this is different. A territory that has felt forbidden from the very start of all of this. There aren’t any cameras, there’s no one to tell them what to do and when to stop, and there’s something about Pond’s parted lips and drained eyes that have him leaning in close until he’s filling his lungs full of Pond’s shaking exhales.

Pond’s breath gets lost in his throat when Peem tilts his head forward, a moment lost in time where his mind draws blanks with the light humming of the air conditioning running in the background to encompass the space with white nose where Phuwin sees nothing but black. Pond’s breath tastes like the ocean and a cosmic explosion behind his eyelids. They don’t kiss, but it’s so close to becoming one that his mind goes reeling and Phuwin’s breath chases and chases until they’re reeling to an immediate halt. And just as fast as it happened, Phuwin pushes Pond’s back with twice the speed and coughs once, hard enough for his throat to feel raw.

And Pond, as expected from the turn of events, looks more confused than ever, eyebrows threading together as he registers what had transpired with a scathing realization, the almost-kiss that Phuwin had initiated out of sheer spontaneously sprung on by his own conflicting emotions.

Phuwin suddenly wants to run from this until his lungs collapse because he may have shattered all salvation and blown his cover, unveiling more than he had ever intended with a crack in the facade that he’d spent so long building only to have it crumble down in the spur of a moment. The way Pond’s mouth is still handing ajar, words and questions and confirmation heavy on the tip of his plush bottom lips, tells Phuwin that he’s potentially fucked in a way where even bandaids won’t cover the scratches, where he can’t go back and make amends.

“Sorry,” Phuwin lowers his eyes, face blanches and he pushes Pond again, until he’s completely off of him until his own feets are flat on the carpet. “You’re right, it’s nothing.”

He doesn’t utter another word and paces out of the hotel room with tense shoulder, feeling the way a pair of eyes are burning against his back with the same intensity as the fingers digging crescents into his own palms or the tingling that lingers from the touch of Pond’s skin against his own, the fleeting taste of sin at the back of his throat. It’s ironic how love seems to flip everything upside down, reversing conversations and dialogue like an hourglass just barely running out of time, and Phuwin is starting to realize that time reverts for no one. The past is only an inkling of cemented memories.

“Phuwin wait—” he hears Pond calling out for him.

But the last grain of salt has already fallen, and Phuwin starts the hourglass anew.

–

When the cameras are on, Phuwin smiles at Pond like it doesn’t hurt. When the cameras are off, Phuwin looks at Pond like he wants it to hurt.

The world that engulfs them when the cameras are on is a sea of limitless optimism, like a switch in their heads calibrated in a perfect sync with the record button. And Phuwin will smile at Pond’s joke with the same ease he did years ago as though a part of him doesn’t shatter with each returned smile stained with a reminiscent illusion of the past.

And as soon as the cameras stop recording, the switch turns off in unison, and Phuwin pulls far away until he can’t feel Pond’s gaze on him and pushes the rich nostalgic of Pond’s low laugh out of his head because he can already feel soiled emotions surfacing like spring in the pit of his stomach, like the day he got his first taste of Pond’s light from the mirth of his smile.

And soon enough, Pond is out of sight and out of mind. But the unprecedented truth is that he craves a reality where Pond’s hand belongs in his, where he doesn’t feel ashamed in pressing his forehead between Pond’s shoulder blades even when the cameras are off, tired of living through the lens of someone else’s eyes.

—

And things stay like that between them until Pond corners him in their dressing room during one of their events, fingers hastingly reaching out to lock the door close.

“What the fuck is going on with you?”

Pond’s tone is almost unrecognizable. He has never used this tone with Phuwin before, he has always been nothing but soft spoken, like Phuwin is made of something fragile and perhaps, Phuwin has been so used to it. Has taken it for granted that he forgets, anger always shows its teeth even in the animals that deem the kindest.

Except Pond doesn’t sound all that angry, as if he’s weighing his emotions. As if he’s overwhelmed and confused in this string of games that Phuwin is dragging him along. As if Phuwin is running a knife across his heart leaving its tracks in the bloodstained remains of his torn up flesh. Pond doesn’t look angry. He simply looks wrung out, exhausted, like the light has been drained out of him, to the point that Phuwin finds it hard to recognize him. Phuwin thinks anger would have hurt less than the way Pond is looking at him right in this moment.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, for one, you ignore me the moment the cameras are off. Like you’re hanging on a tread of a switch, constantly going on and off. It’s like you’re a completely different person the moment the camera is on you. I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on.”

There’s no bite to his words, all the resentment washes away with a morose undertone, but Phuwin feels them like a bruising punch to his gut, enough to turn his insides purple and blue all over. And words are failing him, like they sucked dry out of his chest, and all he can think of are trite cliches stained with platitude, it’s not you, it’s me.

“I’m not ignoring you.”

“Well you sure don’t look at me either.”

Phuwin understands the context of what he means better than Pond probably does, feels the weight more than Pond holds. But Phuwin is not made of enough steel willpower to strip Pond entirely from his life, mostly fleshy muscle fiber and a matrix of bones to cover his withering heart, and a part of him still holds a special hiding place for Pond’s gentle hands and pretty lips. He wants to hold onto friendship, onto the crystal shards of his youth being spent with Pond, but it’s hard trying to remember what that’s like when he’s loved someone for so long and he has forgotten what life was like before Pond. The past is a lost art without a light to lead the way.

“You’re just overthinking things,” Phuwin tries to mask the way his remark doesn’t even convince himself, not even a little.

“So look at me.”

Phuwin swallows hard and shifts his gaze back to Pond, preparing himself for what he doesn’t want to see, yet in doing so, he sees that Pond is right there beside him, eyes full of an aggrieved sadness that doesn’t suit his face and Phuwin has never found it so hard to look at Pond before. So many words burning at the tip of his tongue, begging Pond to never look this broken. Never for anyone. Especially for him.

“Why is it,” Pond says quietly, just barely above a whisper. “That on the off-chance you’ll actually look at me, you’re miles away, resenting my existence?”

He wonders how a person could be so wrong about him. How the one person who knows him better than anyone could be so terribly wrong about him.

“You know that’s not true,” Phuwin mutters firmly. Because if only Pond knows that in every single parallel universe they may find themselves in, where he exists in the same timeline as Pond, not a single version of him could ever resent Pond. Phuwin resents himself, down to the muscle fiber of his very being.

“But that’s the thing, Phuwin,” Pond tenses his jaw. “I just don’t know what to think anymore, not when you treat me like I don’t mean anything to you, like you deeply despise to even be in the same vicinity as me–”

“Stop,” Phuwin almost cries, but it takes everything in him to choke down the pain that rises up his throat like bile because this isn’t how it was supposed to be. He finds himself grabbing the collar of Pond’s shirt, forcing him back against the wall with a thump that clambers through the empty room and vainly hoping that it’ll knock out the insecurities from within Pond. And he’s looking at Pond now, with so much conviction rolling off of his chest, “do not ever think you mean nothing to me. Do not ever fucking put that thought in your head, ever.”

“Okay, then what is it, Phuwin? Why don’t you just fucking spit it out—”

And Phuwin does, right up against Pond’s lips with a roughness that renders them both breathless and starving for air. It’s dangerous, impulsive, but all Phuwin can think of is the way he’s suddenly kissing Pond by accident with so much force than reason, and he pulls away so fast that Pond’s lips are still left parted from the ghost of the kiss. He brings his fingers up to touch his simmering lips while Pond stares at him speechless, a million and one emotions flickering across his face as Phuwin stands there with regrets coursing through him like river veins.

“Fuck,” Phuwin breathes, running a hand through his hair, “that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

And Phuwin almost expect him Pond to push him off, to ask him what the fuck he was thinking. Phuwin almost wishes that Pond could just throw a punch or two, knock him out completely because maybe then, he can finally come back to his senses. But Pond would never do that. Pond would never touch Phuwin like that. Would never put his hands on Phuwin like he wants it to hurt.

But he does pull Phuwin forward, closer and closer, until they’re pressed up against each other. Chest to chest. Hips to hips. Until Pond’s lips are touching his again. This time with so much desperation that Phuwin reaches out to grip at the back of his neck to hold on and pull closer. And it’s nothing compared to all the time they have kissed on camera before. Nothing.

It’s more. It’s so much more.

Pond presses himself into him, draws him closer, fills every crevice in between their bodies. He kisses him.

He parts his mouth, Phuwin parts his own. They breathe each other in, tongues tangling and the moment they touch, they grow desperate.

It happens so quickly. And Phuwin can’t fucking stop.

His hands are all over him, appetitive, taking. And Pond’s are as well, feel all over his back, his arms, his neck, his shoulders. Pond doesn’t kiss like the characters that Phuwin has kissed on cameras all of these years, somehow it’s so distinguishable.

Pond kisses with abandon, wet and rough and desperate yet the softness of it all drips on the edges, like the gentleness is just a part of him, something that has molded itself into the person that is Pond. He kisses voraciously yet tenderly. He sighs into Phuwin’s mouth, forehead creasing, kisses him again, again, again.

Phuwin’s blood rushes, heart hammers.

His mind is spinning so fast that he finds that he can’t keep up, not when Pond is just feeding all of his curiosities of what it’s really like to kiss Pond. Not the characters he is playing. But Pond, the boy who looks at Phuwin like he’s made of starlight and moondust.

And Pond just knows how to kiss him, slow and drawn out but with this determination beneath it. A restless feeling works itself up Phuwin’s body and he makes this terrible little noise, whiny and breathy as he knots his fingers in Pond’s hair. And it’s almost embarrassing to be this needy for someone, it would be embarrassing with anyone else but this is Pond and Phuwin just simply wants. And wants. And wants.

One moment, they are pressed against the wall and the next Pond sits them on the couch with Phuwin’s legs thrown over his laps, his hand at the cut of his waist, both of his thighs now hiking up over Pond’s hips, his fingers pressing into Pond’s back, too fast, too everything and Phuwin is almost afraid to make the wrong move, calculating each touch of his fingers in his head like he fears one wrong press on skin and he’ll break this moment completely.

And he knows they shouldn’t be doing this, licking words right out of each other’s mouths instead of actually saying it outloud and resorting to leaving things unresolved, unmanaged, un-everything so that it hangs thick in the air like molasses. But no, Phuwin doesn’t want to push Pond away, not when he’s already tasted sin at the back of his tongue.

And there’s a question that has been lingering in his mind for far too long and he just has to ask. He just has too. He pulls back, feel the slick of his own lips separating from Pond’s wet ones, “is there someone–”

And the words hang themselves uselessly in the air because there are so many things he wants to ask. Is there someone else? Do you kiss anyone else like this? Do you touch anyone else like this? Do you let anyone have you the way I’m having you? Does it make me greedy if I want you like this, all to myself? Would you allow me to be greedy, just once? Just this one time.

But his tongue feels thick at the back of his throat and he only looks at Pond, like he’s hoping that Pond can read the words at the back of his mind. Like he wants to kiss Pond hard enough so Pond can see all of his secrets, the dirty, the filthy ones. The ones where he wishes to have Pond to the point that he’s willing to be ruined from the sheer desperation of getting to taste the desire that has been buried so deeply in the focal core of his being.

Pond brushes his hair from his forehead and Phuwin seeks for his touch out of instinctual habits, “there’s no one, Phu. There has never been anyone else.”

[mp3chan]

1:47am [F]

plz reblog if you enjoy it!

pairing: bangchan x (chubby) gn!reader

word count: 844

tw: insecurities, very mild angst (like a sprinkle), mentions of nayeon (not tw but i don’t want anyone to think i hate her i don’t she’s literally one of my twice biases), chan makes one lewd comment

sum: y/n suddenly feels very insecure and chris immediately steps into action! channie to the rescue!

an: im trying to figure out if I prefer referring to bangchan as chan or chris so rn I will flip flop between the two (this is also very self indulgent)

© copyright mp3chan 2022

you stared at the photo of chris and nayeon on his phone. he said he had been helping her with her solo album and popped into to her album shoot just to say hi.

“doesn’t she look really pretty?” chris commented, he was always complimenting the girl idols, mostly to their faces, knowing how much they struggled with diets and body image due to the nature of the industry.

you understood his support of nayeon and knew they were just friends, you even overheard her calling him her brother. but something about calling her pretty for the umpteenth time today just bothered you.

“yeah she looks great.” you finally managed to get out, trying not to let it show how much that hurt. you pulled your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on them.

sometimes you didn’t understand what chris saw in you, couldn’t see the so called ‘beauty’ he did. you didn’t voice how often you really had these thoughts and just put on a brave face to not stress him out. he had enough on his plate, he didn’t need to deal with your insecurities as well.

you must have been spaced out and in your own head for awhile because when you looked back up, chris was in front of you, his phone tossed aside on his bed and leaning in close to you.

you quietly gasped not expecting him to be so close and blinked in confusion as to just what he was doing.

“what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours hm?” chris asked you, a small smile appearing on his face, he was just so handsome. you didn’t understand.

“why do you like me?” you blurted, the filter slipping away for a moment. “out of all the idols and beautiful models and people you could have had, you chose me.” you added, not able to look him in the eyes by now. “i don’t understand, never have.”

chris was stunned to say the least, he knew you had your insecure moments but you always seemed confident in your body and just overall.

“what are you talking about?” was the only response chris could formulate in that moment, letting his mind properly think after saying that. “do you think you’re not enough for me?” he asked you, lifting your chin gently so you were forced to look at him.

“i know i’m not enough, channie.” you sighed, pulling your head away so you could avoid his gaze again. only for him to pull your gaze back to him.

“explain.” was the only word he said, it sounded stern, almost angry.

“i mean someone like nayeon just seems like a better fit for you. i can’t even fit in your hoodies and she’d drown in them, she’s in the same industry you are and she gets the struggle and she’s just so perfect and i’m just….me.” you sniffled, closing your eyes so you could keep avoiding his gaze, you never wanted chris to know the severity of your insecurities.

“but that’s the exact reason i’m so in love with you.” chris chuckled, not realizing he just told you he’s in love with you for the first time.

you gasped and your eyes snapped open to stare at him. “you love me?” you asked him, still not fully believing him.

chris went bright red when he realized he said that and took a deep breath. “of course i love you.” he caressed your chubby cheek gently. “nayeon is a good person but she’s not you. she could never be you.” he explained and it just confused you even more.

“you’re almost always here when i get home to make sure i get something to eat and vent about my day. you’re so understanding and patient about my career and not a lot of people would be. you have the cutest cheeks that are just perfect to pinch, the best boopable nose, lips that I could kiss until i die.” chris started rambling, watching your cheeks get redder the more he spoke. “the best arms to be wrapped up in a hug in. the softest tummy to rest my head against when i’m tired. the plumpest thighs that I would easily let suffocate me as i eat you out.”

you gasped and smacked his shoulder at the lewd comment. “chris!”

“my name sounds perfect coming out of your mouth. your mind and humor is just amazing. you’re so thoughtful and helpful. i’ve never been happier, y/n.” chris whispered to you, your lips millimeters from touching.

“i love you.” you whispered, feeling a tear of happiness slid down your cheek.

chris smiled, gently wiping that tear away, and gently pecked your lips. “i’ve always loved you, it’s always been you, my love.” he rested his forehead against yours. “and it will always be you.”

you smiled, the negative thoughts fully melting away for good. you knew you’d have your moments in the future, but never like this.

not if chris had anything to do with it.

[liannelara-dracula]

Shu Sakamaki in Real Life HCS

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

🎻I probably won’t have much to say because I find his character to be ugh sometimes but I can’t imagine not creating hcs abt this mf.

🎻But it is difficult to come up with things about him, ngl.

🎻Anyhow, if you guys have seen these irl hcs before you’ll know I’m mostly sharing with you my general thoughts, and formulated opinions on this character so here we go!

🎻Okay, so I’m sure we all know he’s the heir and a prince of the vampire kingdom (I know its weird.) And I just have to say this because I don’t say it enough, I really feel like he acts differently in the demon world because he knows his dad will be mad.

🎻So you can expect Shu to be much more expressive as he is the heir, he represents his father and so he needs to be “lively”.

🎻 That being said, he attends gatherings, banquets, and many other events that his father may want him to.

🎻I will say that when he is in the demon world it is much different as he doesn’t act like himself.

🎻Apart from him is still the same in the sense that he is still a pervert.

🎻I mean we know he’ll be with low-ranking vampires or whatever just to get some.

🎻 After all, he has somewhat of an ego even if he doesn’t show it.

🎻So you know he most definitely does believe that because he is the heir he can move from one girl to the next with no strings attached.

🎻All for his advantage of course.

🎻Also speaking of his royalty life I really want to mention the fact that he is very annoyed by all the attention the girls give him.

🎻He literally can’t wait till he goes back to the human world where it's much quieter.

🎻However as a royal he does enjoy the theatre because he can hear classical music.

🎻In fact, he loves it most when he can watch the ballet performances.

🎻If there’s one thing he loves most it’s watching girls do ballet.

🎻He loves watching them practice especially because you know he’s a thigh guy. Apart from being an ass man.

🎻This is honestly where he might take an interest in a girl who's probably a dancer.

🎻I’ve literally made an aesthetic about this here.

🎻And you can read a lot about how he is at school in the demon world here. 

🎻Oh btw he sleeps in only his underwear, that’s just how I see it. (and it's actually canon, I was laughing when I found out I was right.)

🎻I will say that he doesn’t laugh very often, he’ll just have a chuckle that makes anyone uncomfortable but when he full-on laughs it's so fucking rare.

🎻And it freaks out almost anyone, it even got Yui.

🎻He is such an ass I feel like he trolls anyone in, anyway, he can.

🎻His hair is so tangled and I bet he doesn’t wash it that often because he’s lazy

🎻He smells like cotton/linen and a bit of dust.

🎻The best actor to play him would be Toby Regbo.

🎻However the model I found on Pinterest is also a great representation of what he’d look like.

🎻In terms of attitude he really reminds me of Robert Pattinson because he trolls so much. 

🎻The best way to bribe him is with steak, I swear it works every time. 

🎻And I bet my entire ass that Reiji uses it for when he needs big favors.

🎻He loves to be comfortable so I feel like American Eagle, Hollister, Old Navy, and H&M are his go to.

🎻I know he loves cardigans so much so he’s probably extremely picky about the kind he buys.

🎻That’s why he only has three, this is actually canon, I believe it was in one of the game translations in Reiji’s route where he was looking for his jacket and asked Reiji. And Reiji told him it can’t be that hard to find since he has only three, lol.

🎻And idk why but I just feel like he miss places them all around the house.

🎻I also think he keeps so much junk under his bed.

🎻“Huh, I don’t remember that being there.”

🎻If he gets really hot, he just throws his cardigan under the bed.

🎻He once owned a cat, it's not that he went out of his way and bought one. It sorta followed him and so he started to take care of it a little. It lived outside mostly because Reiji wouldn’t tolerate it, but occasionally Shu kept the cat in his room.

🎻He has no idea where the cat went and whether or not it's alive since he hardly kept watch of it.

🎻Although he sometimes wonders where it went, and I think he liked the cat since she sometimes got into Reiji’s things. It was amusing to say the least.

🎻Forgets he puts his music sheets on his bed and ends up sitting on them.

🎻That’s why they’re always somewhat crumbled and folded.

🎻Never makes his bed, he just throws the blanket on and thanks to the butler the room is kept clean.

🎻Otherwise it’d end up like Ayato’s room, to which the butler can never keep up with.

🎻Because he loves music he has vinyl records, and countless CDs in some boxes he keeps under his bed.

🎻He keeps a couple of his favorite books which are in Latin.

🎻Something also tells me if he had a journal, he’d write only Latin because none of his brothers can.

🎻Because he used to be a cashier, he still has his name tag from then and his worker vest.

🎻He keeps in hidden in a corner of his closet.

🎻Speaking of which his closet is so empty and he literally has repeats of the same pants and shirts.

🎻It’s mostly because they were on a good sale.

🎻He will wear the same clothes for like three days or more and not even change out of them.

🎻Doesn’t brush his hair, just goes to school with bed head.

🎻Keeps his door locked so triplets don’t think about pranking him with some clown-related things since he has a fear of them. It's mostly because he’s learned that the hard way.

🎻It's also because he fears they may bring in a caterpillar.

🎻I could totally see Yui trying to feed a caterpillar and he’d flip out in panic and leave immediately. 

🎻He never will admit to his fears and covers them up quite well because he wants no one to know that, especially a girl. lol.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[water-to-drink]

Be a Gladiolus in a Field of Belladonnas pt8

Let’s Go Ice Fishing!

(Summary): Seeing that your mood has been down in the dumps, Lumine and Childe decide to surprise you with a secret ice fishing trip, unbeknownst to the strom closing in

Part 1 Last Part Next Part

✧ Masterlist ✧

(Characters): Traveler!Lumine, Childe, Paimon, Abyss Prince!Aether , Al haitham, Jean, Ganyu, Sara, Ayato, and Ningguang

(Warnings): Cursing, suggestive language, use of Childe’s real name, Childe’s downbad in this part too, not proofread(let me know if I miss anything)

(A/n): Al haitham and Jean are friends cuz I said so >:(

─────────── ✧ ───────────

The snowstorms have gotten less frequent and harsh during your time in Snezhnaya, but that still didn’t calm your nerves. It has been 3 weeks, nearing a month since anymore Primogems have been found. You can tell things have gotten stressful from the jumpy nature of the low level fatui agents and them being much more apologetic lately. Things have gotten to the point where you rarely see the Harbingers or the Tsarita. Though you have Lumine and Paimon and Aether when he’s not in the Abyss to talk to, the tension still hanging over your head the feeling of uncertainty starts clutching at your back a lot more as of late

You try not to let your anxiety show, but it seems that no matter how hard you try your first vessel would be more privy of you and your emotions

And her and Paimon’s behavior today, you began to grow a bit suspicious of them. What could they be planning? It wasn’t until your favorite homicidal ginger ran up to you and shoved a fishing rod in your hand, saying that he and Lumine have something planned for you

“Ice fishing?”

“Yeah, we’ve noticed that you’ve been down recently and Childe suggested that we take you ice fishing, to clear your head.” Lumine explained

“It would be good to get some fresh air!” Paimon chimed

“That sounds nice, but we should let the others know about this so they don’t freak out when they can’t find me.”

“Don’t worry about that, I already told Capitano!” Childe exclaimed. “Come on, the good fish are waiting for us!” Childe grabbed your free hand and took you out the back

You should’ve known something was up when the taller man looked around each turn before leading you to another corner, but the prospect of being outside made you throw out any reason. When you were brought to the destination, a frozen lake with 3 stools around a hole cut into the ice

“This way, your-”

“Let me help you to your seat, (y/n).” Lumine cut the Harbinger off and took your hand to help you get through the ice and to your designated stool

Once all three of you settled into your respective stools, you turned towards Childe. “So what’s the point of ice fishing?”

“Well, it’s just a way to get out. I do this to clear my head after a long mission with no bloodshed.” The Ginger explained

“So we just talk and hope to catch a fish?”

“Yeah…”

“This sounds too boring, I’m going to take a nap.” Paimon said before disappearing in her little pocket dimension

“Wait, she can do that?!” You shrieked in bewilderment

“Yeah, I thought you could see it during all the times you used me as a vessel.” Lumine assumed

You were too dumbfounded to formulate any words. Thankfully you didn’t blurt out thinking her disappearing into a mass of sparkles and stars was only a game mechanic. You don’t know how you would explain to them what game was and that they were in one without causing some existential crisis

“Okay…”

It was all you manage to say and the two took it without saying anything more. You looked towards the horizon and admired the sun that just revealed itself in all of it’s shining glory. Oddly enough looking at the ball of fiery death didn’t blind you after starring at it, you could say it almost felt comforting. The same comfort you get when reminiscing on a snack you would have as a kid but not as much as you got older. The feeling of nostalgia got you thinking on some things, the same things that been crawling at your back. It didn’t help that the silence you were sitting in made the crawling worse the seconds pass

“Hey, Childe…?” The young man lifted his head towards you. “Do you mind if I call you by your real name, just while we’re here?”

“Of course, your Grace!” Ajax said with glee

“You can call me (y/n) since I’m using your real name.”

“Okay, (y/n).” The way your name rolled off his tongue made him super giddy, all the while Lumine and Paimon watched in mild discomfort. After the initial feeling of exhilaration has subsided, Ajax quickly composed himself. “Is there anything on your mind, (y/n)?” He asked gleefully towards the end at the privilege of getting to say your name

“Do any of you think my plan of taking my doppelganger off the throne would be possible?”

“Of course I do!” Lumine and Ajax said in unison

“Do you mean that as a devoted acolyte or as just you.” You turned towards Childe, a look of earness on your face. “ As Childe of the fatui harbingers or as Ajax?” You turned your attention towards Lumine. “And as the Traveler, the hero renowned all over Teyvat or as Lumine who traversed the stars with her brother?”

The two were left stunned, Ajax opened his mouth but no words came out while Lumine turned her gaze away from you

“I don’t know if I can really beat them. One day I’m just some ordinary person and the next, I’m in this world labeled as an imposter but I’m actually this divine Creator.” You looked towards the hole in the ice to avoid the gazes of your company. “I’ve never been too notable back home, but all of you call me ‘your Grace’ and hold me in high regard. I don’t feel that and sometimes….” Tears start to well up your eyes. “Sometimes I even wonder if you guys are just going along with my plan because you’re all afraid of hurting my feeli-”

“That’s not true!” You snap your head to face Ajax who got up from his seat. “Even though you’ve been reincarnated in a human body, everyone who knows of your presence believes you can achieve this goal. If her majesty had any doubt on then she wouldn’t hesitate to tell you!” Ajax sat back down on the stool. “I believe in you as Childe, the 11th Harbinger and as Ajax, the guy from that small village.”

“I agree with Ajax. Even though I’m claimed to have done massive feats, I wouldn’t have done them without you guidance. My battles against Stormterror, Osial, and the Shogun they all wouldn’t possible without you right by me.”

“Thanks guys,” You took your hook out of the water and set the fishing rod next to you. “Ice fishing is kinda boring, ya’ll wanna have a snowball fight?”

Lumine and Ajax share a look between themselves before turning their attention back towards you and nodding with smiles on their faces

─────────── ✧ ───────────

On the other side of the world, in the nation of contracts, Liyue. Here is where most if not all of the nations’ leaders are temporarily residing due to the order of their “Creator.”

The streets don’t hold the same sense of peace and liveliness it once held, now replaced by animosity and tension so thick one can nearly choke just by breathing. It isn’t any better at the Yujing Terrace, where the world leaders constantly discuss their next corse of action and the same place Al haitham dreads going

On one hand he is grateful that he’s not responsible for the work that comes with being the Acting Grand Sage, but this isn’t exactly what he was expecting

“Good morning, would like some coffee?” Jean asked as she held out a paper cup with its contents producing steam

“Thank you.” He said while taking the cup and drinking from it

“How are you liking your stay at Liyue?”

“It’s alright, I took the chance to pick up some books that typically don’t reach the Akademya.”

“You like to read, me too! Normally I don’t get to read because of my work schedule, but I digress. What genres do you read?”

“Mainly science, philosophy, and…” A noise takes Al haitham out of his line of thought

“Is something wrong?” Jean asked worriedly

It’s whistling

Al haitham walked towards the direction where the sound comes and sees the Natlan priestess with a bird perched upon her finger

“Chimalma, good morning!” Jean greeted

“Morning to you, Jean!” The priestess waved

So Chimalma was her name, Al haitham probably heard her name before but didn’t bother to remember it

“I didn’t expect for you to talk to birds.”

“Hummingbirds are said to be the souls of fallen soldiers, it would be absurd that the priestess of Natlan to not be able to speak to the late warriors, no?” Chimalma scoffed with a playful glint in her eyes

“No, I didn’t mean anything-” Jean tried to stammer out an apology

“I joking, you really need to lighten up.” Chimalma waved her hand dismissively

“I heard the language of birds is something their Grace and only people they chose are able to understand it.” A short woman with blue hair and horns commented as she walk up the stairs

“Spot on! As one would expect from one of Rex Lapis’ adepti~” Chimalma sang which made the qilin turn her head away from the feline hybrid

“If you can indeed talk to birds, then we can use that to our advantage in capturing the imposter.” The tengu general from Inazuma proclaimed as she entered with the Yashiro Commissioner sally of whom Al haitham couldn’t be bothered to learn their names

For a second Chimalma’s eye twitched and a slight hint of malevolence can be seen but soon returned to their usual easygoing gleam. All of which didn’t go unnoticed by the acting Grand Sage and apparently the Yashiro Commissioner caught the slip up

“It seems that everyone is here so we can start attending to matters,” The voice of the Tinaquan brought everyone’s attention towards her. “are there any concerns one would like to bring to our attention before we start with today’s proceedings?”

“I would like to bring up a question,” The young clan head raised his hand. “is Snezhnaya going to be joining us? I don’t recall seeing a representative in our meeting with their Grace.”

“Despite the numerous attempts to get their involvement, they refused each instance.”

“Would it be possible to think, they’re harboring this imposter.” Everyone’s attention quickly turned towards Al haitham, each face containing certain level of surprise. Wether it being what the former scribe said or the fact that he even spoke at all. “Not too long ago they tried to construct a god that would replace Lord Kusanali, so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for them to be hiding the imposter in hopes of using them to their advantage.”

An unsettling silence hung over the envoys as the realization of the words fully took root in each of the leader’s minds

“That’s absurd! You don’t think they’re foolish enough to try that…? To try and use a world ending entity to replace their Grace, right?” The horned Adeptus worried

There was a moment of silence until the Tinaquan cleared her throat

“If your assertion is true, then we need to mobilize our forces as soon as possible.” She declared, her eyes showing a flame burning within them

─────────── ✧ ───────────

Completely unaware of the arrangements being made, you throw the snowball without a care in the world. The same carefreeness you once had before being labeled as an imposter and hunted like an animal

You watch the snowball fly through the air and break apart once it missed Childe and made contact with a tree trunk. That was the nth snowball you threw he dodged with no effort, but it looked like Lumine was having an easier time getting the snowballs to hit the ginger. You shouldn’t feel too bad, things could be worse. You could be doing just as bad as Paimon desperately flying out the way of snowballs but still getting hit by a good chunk of them

“Your Grace, there you are.” A familiar voice greets you

You look back to see a pair of golden orbs starring back at you

“Aether, how did you find me?”

“I followed your aura when I didn’t sense you in the palace.”

“The spell wears off? Damn that’s really inconvenient.”

“I can cast it on you, again. If it’s for you, I don’t mind being inconve-” A snowball hits Aether square in the face. “Lumine!” Aether yelled

“You didn’t specify you weren’t in the fight, so I didn’t know.”

“Bullshit!!!”

Aether held out his hand and a clump of snow appears in it. As he gets ready to throw the snow ball Lumine tries to run out of its potential line of sight

“Wait! That’s not fair! You can’t use elemental pow-” The blonde tried to shout but was hit in the face

Lumine wipes the snow off her face and starts to grab a large chunk of snow from the ground and packed it into a ball. Aether shield you from Lumine’s and Ajax’s line of sight

“My sister is scary when she’s angry, don’t worry I’ll protect you, your Grace.” The normally cold prince told with an uncharacteristic smile on his face

“No fair, I wanna be on (y/n)’s side-” Ajax whined but got hit in the face by a snowball

“How dare you utter their Grace’s name so casually!”

Lumine and Ajax looked at each other and seemed to have reached a sort of truce. The two grab snowballs in each hand, getting ready to throw them

“H-hol up. Go easy on me!” You pleaded

They did go easy on you, Aether not so much. A barrage of snowballs were thrown at him mercilessly, but he managed to dodge a good portion of them and got an equal amount of his snowballs hitting them

You tried to throw a couple of snowballs but they always ended up missing their target and so you just decided to sit back and watch them. They didn’t notice when you sat on the sidelines, but you didn’t mind you had just as much fun watching them. Time seemed to have gotten away from all of you because the next thing you knew you realized how dark it was

“Uhh timeout guys…” You yelled clear enough for the others to seize their attack. “it’s getting pretty dark out here, we should start heading back.”

The cheerful expression on Ajax’s face dropped into one of realization and horror

“Shit! We need to find shelter fast!”

“What, why?!” You asked fear quickly sinking in

“There’s a cave over there!” Lumine said as she pointed towards its opening

Ajax picked you up and ran into the cave, he stopped once he no longer felt the harsh winds from the outside

“Are you ok?” He asked, making you look at his face, which you were in close proximity. Did he always look this pretty? Or was it that because he’s in front of you and you can see details in face that couldn’t be captured in a series of polygons?!?!

“Ye-yeah, I’m fine,” You said with your gaze adverted. “can you put me down now?”

He immediately does and a smirk graces his pretty boy face

“What are you smirking at?” You asked dreading his response will make your face heat up even more

“You know my offer still stands. The one I gave when we bumped into each other in the forest of Sumeru, us having s-” The ends of the red scarf around his neck fly into Ajax’s face and the two of you turn to see the twins grimacing as anemo particles dissipate by Aether

“Can you not try to get your dick wet for two seconds?” Aether chastises

Ajax yanks the scarf out of his face. “You’re just jealous of the effect I have on (y/n), they can’t help that they find me attractive.”

“You nearly put their Grace in danger and now trying to make a move on them while saying their name so casually, don’t you have no shame!”

“Don’t blame me, you could’ve noticed the sun setting but didn’t so act like you’re any better then me!”

Aether retorts something back but you didn’t catch it due to your attention being brought to something else. It seemed that Lumine took notice on your spaced out look

“Is something the matter?” She asked

“I just feel something pulling me towards it…” Was all you responded with

The pull got more intense the longer you stayed, immediately turning your body you begin walking further into the cave. Lumine and Ajax followed you and tried to convince you to sit back in your seat near the fire, or that is what you think they’re saying to you. Your only focus is on finding out what is pulling you deeper into the cave

You stopped at the dead end and you stared at the wall in awe of what you see. A Primogem embedded into the wall

“(Y/n), we should really be heading back. You’ll get sick if you’re not near the fire.” Ajax tried to persuade you

You turned towards your companions. “Wait! You don’t see that?!”

“I don’t see anything.” Ajax admitted

“You don’t see anything?!”

Ajax shook his head leading you to turn towards the twins

“Lum, Ae, please tell me that you see what I’m talking about.”

They only shook her head, you could see a slight blush on their faces, most likely due to the nickname you gave them. You weren’t in the mood to fawn over how adorable they both looked, you groaned in frustration and went to where the rock was embedded. Seeing the glowing stone, hesitation stopped you from touching it but pushed it aside, you reached out for it and pulled it out. The gem began to glow brighter in your hand as if it had been brought to where it belongs

─────────── ✧ ───────────

Taglist:

@chuuya-brainrot @creation-magician @transbirbboi @tartarsaucechi1de @vvyeislazzy @kokomisimpppp @aludicpoet @undecidingfate @annoying-mary @randomnatics @ventixthexanemoxarchon @bore2808 @lizzhearthz @bidisasterforevermore @dxprived4-starboys @angstylittleb1tch @esthelily @yurivision @angelamelamela @d4y-dr3am3r @blackcoffex @not-the-shroom @raffaelo4ka @rebeccawinters @artwitchh @kaveh-is-pretty @imyme20 @nymphsdomain @sun7lowxr @itz-luna @flowerypesky

Taglist is still open