#I have been at this since 4 and I'm not even an eighth of the way through

[the-busy-ghost]

Idk why every time I have a project that involves using the Register of the Great Seal for something even slightly more complex than looking up a single isolated charter, I always have a lovely plan where I think it will only take me a couple of hours to go in, check the index, and take the numbers I need down. And then I end up having to skimread the whole damn volume.

[reiderwriter]

She's a Silver Lining

Chapter Nine of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Spencer comes to terms with your abduction.

Warnings: ANGST, Suicidal ideation, kidnapping, mentions of fetal abduction and murder of pregnant women, descriptions of abuse, descriptions of prenatal care, typical case details. Spencer is depressed.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is a day late, I literally saw God this weekend (I saw Taemin perform live), and really, all that's been on my mind is how God is Good (Taemin is hot), and so I haven't been able to write anything as depressing as this chapter. I hope you enjoy (?) it anyway~♡

Masterlist || tags are currently broken, I'm sorry ♡

Eight days. It had been eight days since Spencer had last seen you. Eight days since he'd screwed up his one job so massively that he'd lost you. 

He'd lost people before. He'd lost people on cases. Victims, unsubs, bystanders, and family members who didn't stand a chance at recovering from their own loss. He'd lost Maeve, which was a little too similar to his current circumstances to think about too hard. He'd been losing his mother since he was born, and he'd really lost her again a few months ago. He'd lost Gideon. He'd lost Elle, too, before that. He'd lost Emily, and though she'd come back too, it wasn't the same. He'd lost Morgan, and then Hotch. He'd lost Alex Blake.

He'd lost nearly everyone in his life. Some of them had come back, most of them hadn't. 

He'd thought himself immune to the pain of losing someone at last. 

He'd certainly lost enough of himself in prison. 

It may have only been 84 days, but whatever was left in him of hope before was gone. He'd emerged completely empty. 

He supposed that's why he'd accepted the role at the university. There was nothing left for him to give to the BAU, but he couldn't be the one to leave. 

As it was, he'd already been unsettled enough by leaving you behind when he'd finished up his time there. 

It felt weird to him, saying goodbye. Not that he'd actually said goodbye. He'd kissed your forehead as he slipped out of your bed, sure, but you'd been neither conscious, nor fond of him in anyway. It was a parting gesture just for him  and he hadn't been quite sure why he'd done it. 

It was just a gesture and one he'd repeated multiple times after getting you back. You didn't know, of course. How could you? 

He'd either woken up before you and kissed your forehead, or climbed into bed beside you late at night and greeted you then. 

You'd lain side by side, drifting to sleep slowly, when he realized it had become a daily habit. 

He hadn't any idea of what he'd do when you left. 

And now you had. And it was his fault. 

In the eight days since you'd been kidnapped, Spencer had come to terms with a few facts.

He knew 64,956 women were currently declared missing in the United States. He knew that 77% of adults reported missing were found in 24 hours. You weren't. He knew 4% were found in 48 hours. You weren't. Only 3% were usually missing still after a week. 

You were somehow in that small minority, even though there was an entire team of FBI agents working around the clock to find you. 

He'd had faith in his coworkers before. Before, he'd begged for their help, and they'd succeeded in 24 hours, even if the outcome wasn't preferable. 

This time, he didn't beg. He had no faith. He just hoped to be present with a gun, loaded with two bullets, if this time went the way of the last. 

On the eighth day after your abduction, Spencer finally returned home.

The damage from your abduction was still apparent. 

Not that your captor had left many clues. In fact, they'd left none. Not even a fingerprint or a good angle on the CCTV. But he hadn't taken returning to an empty apartment well.

He slashed through the crime scene tape quickly, letting in hang in the doorway as he entered. The bookshelves he'd attacked were limping, leaning on each other for support after he'd ripped books off so violently he'd set them askew. 

He'd kicked and ripped and punched the wall so hard he'd needed stitches that he'd absolutely refused to get. 

He'd cried and sobbed into his bloodied and bruised hands until Emily had arrived, and then he'd cried some more, leaning on his friend, his sister, for her support. 

Returning now, there wasn't a single tear left.

In the hospital, they'd addressed his flesh wounds, but the emotional ones would never hear. 

You were gone. And now there was only a 3% chance he'd ever see you again. 

Emily hadn't allowed him to stick around to make their jobs harder. She's placed him on house arrest - funnily enough, her house, where you should've been if he wasn't such a selfish ass - and assigned a watch. 

She’d said it was for protection, but what she'd meant was it was to protect him from himself.

The rest of the team had avoided the topic entirely. They didn't know how to deal with whatever stage of grief he was going through. Many of them had comforted him the first time. They didn't know how to do it a second. They didn't know if they could. 

After eight days, Spencer had left Emily’s apartment. He'd dodged the Agent she'd stationed alongside him, got into a taxi, and gone home. 

Surveying the damage, he was surprised how deep the hurt had already cut to not feel much anymore. 

He looked at the books splayed on the floor. It was a title that you'd been reading that week. One he remembered you using at the office, one that had been on both of your courses reading lists. He picked each of them up and put them back on the shelf. He righted each shelf and organised them neatly, how he thought you'd like them. 

He picked pillows up and rearranged them. He vacuumed the debris from the floor, the thin layer of dust that had gathered since he'd left, the splinters pf bookcase that had crumbled off, the shards of wall that were speckled with his blood. 

He wept the entire time, though silent, until there were no tears left to cry. 

Then he'd come across a tiny package underneath his coffee table, a single corner of plastic peaking out, begging for attention. 

He'd picked it up and wept again as he found depths of sadness to reach further down than what he'd assumed to be rock bottom. 

Aa he lay in a pool of his own despair, a new, haunting fact crashed from his brain to his heart. Since 1987, there had been 21 foetal abductions in the USA. 19 of them had ended in homicide, with the mother dying. 

You made 22. 

In the two months since you'd been abducted, you'd learned three things. 

The first was that you absolutely loved Spencer Reid. You'd spent enough time sitting introspectively about everything in your life to realize you had to stop being so stubborn and admit just that. You'd been about there before all of this, but now you knew for sure. 

You should be cursing the man that inspired your horror show of a life, after all. But instead, you thought about him and held back tears. 

She gave you updates these days, testing your reactions to his name, waiting to see you crack, to see you cry, and sob and break down completely. 

Today, Spencer had been to see his mother, she said. He'd broken down in her arms and caused her to have an episode. She'd hit him so hard, his face had already been bruised by the time she saw him. 

The second thing you knew was that your baby was going to be born healthy. You had no plans of having a home birth, but now, at seven months pregnant, and large enough that you almost thought about doing your conception math again, you knew you were on track for giving birth in the room you'd been in for the last 58 days. 

You hadn't counted. 

She’d been good enough to tell you the date, the day, and her plans every morning when she visited you. She checked your vitals, your blood pressure, the position of the baby, your temperature, your heart rate, and recorded everything in her chart. She asked you how the pregnancy was going, almost as if she was the nurse she'd been training to be. 

Her bedside manner was so good some days. You forgot entirely that you were tied down to the bed, ankle clamped down. 

She let you walk for an hour a day, but recommended bedrest after that for health reasons. You didn't complain or talk back because she didn't like that. 

She let you read, and she was even curious about your reading, asking you questions and taking notes as if this were just part of her regular college schedule, an office hour that had taken over her life. 

You shuddered sometimes as she stared up at you with those big eyes, so wide, and young, and naive, and full of hatred, and evil, and you wanted to claw them out and scream for help, and stab her with the pencil she wrote notes with, and stab, and stab, and stab, and-

The third thing you knew was that you'd never hold your baby in your arms because you'd be dead moments after they breathed their first breath.

You knew, because she had told you as much everyday since you'd woken up. 

In two months, Spencer had become more manic and self-destructive than he'd ever been in his entire life. 

His world centred around you, and finding you, even as his 3% slipped to 1%, slipped to 0.1%, and he knew deep inside that he'd never see you again. 

He hadn't returned to the BAU but had instead turned his home into an investigation room, emptying the walls so he could pin up information, evidence, pictures of you, everything he could find. It wasn't that he'd regained hope, but he'd grown so desperate that he suddenly gripped hard onto the only slither of it that he had left and refused to drop it. He was a dog that didn't know the game of fetch only conti he'd if he dropped the ball. His life would not go on without you.

So he searched. He knew how far along you were. He knew how far along a woman had to be for a c section, professionally performed or not. 

He barricaded himself into his house and paced for days as his friends pounded down his door. He let none in. He didn't go out. He wasn't sure what he ate, or drank, or if he slept, but he knew he paced, and he thought, and he came up with theories. 

After two months, Emily was tired of knocking. 

“Spencer Reid, I am coming in,” she shouted from behind the door. 

He usually ignored her. She couldn't pass the bookshelves he'd moved in front of the door anyway, even if his superintendent had given her a key. 

This time though, he heard a banging, a creak and a crash as the bookshelves went down and Emily, who had left him and returned, made her way inside his apartment. 

“You barricaded the door?” she said, looking at him. 

He took a shaky breath and tried to answer as she surveyed his apartment, the mess of papers, books, string on the wall. He saw her stare down at the pile of sheets on the floor where he'd been sleeping, the bag of your things he had dragged to be closer to him. 

He saw her look at the baby shoes, and baby grows he'd laid out neatly on the floor, and he saw the pitying look she turned on him. 

“She's pregnant,” he finally said out loud, though you must've been 7 months along by then. “I'm going to be a father.”

“Spencer,” Emily said, grasping his hand, voice cracking from the strain of emotion that coated her tongue, making her voice thick. “You would've been an amazing father.” 

“No. No-” he said, breaking away and moving back to his wall. “No past tense, I won't let you… I won't let you give up on them.” 

“It's been two months.” 

“So she's only seven months pregnant. I have two more months to find her, Emily. Two more. At least allow me that.” 

The tears in his eyes streamed freely now as she nodded. 

“We will…. you know we'll help you. We'll do everything we can, so come to the office.” 

He didn't want to give up his space. His reminders of you, the baby grows, the information he'd gathered.

Equally, he didn't like Emily being in this space. She thought you were already dead, and he couldn't even look her in the eye. 

Reluctantly, he nodded, lifting himself up on legs weakened by insurmountable grief, and he followed her to Quantico. 

By the end of your third trimester, you wondered how you could ever have gotten so big. When you gave birth, the child inside of you would only be the size of a small pumpkin. You felt like you'd swallowed five regular size pumpkins whole, and you felt you were still expanding. 

The point worried her. She'd broken two glasses in tantrums this last week alone, measuring you every day. 

The closer you got to birth, the more agitated she grew. 

“This demon inside of you is going to kill you. I won't even have to do it myself,” she'd whispered to herself, or to you, as she took your vitals that morning. 

“Please don't say that.” 

“Why not? You're a whore, and you're going to give birth to a devil. You have seduced my soul mate, because you are a jezebel and the Lord is punishing you.” 

You'd needed all the strength you could get for these conversations. Even one tear, and she'd erupt and put a knife at your neck. With only a few weeks left, there was no saying whether she'd speed her plan along. 

“I did not seduce your soul mate,” you said as calmly as you could muster, taking deep breaths, hoping that she would mirror them and calm down. 

“Do we have to watch the fucking video again?” she spat at you, stomping around to the side of your bed and pulling out her phone. She queued up the video quickly and you averted your eyes. 

She turned them back quickly, holding your head in place as she forced you to watch your own office space. She showed you the videos of you and Spencer talking, teasing each other. She showed you the video of you insisting you were not attractive to him. She showed you the video of Spencer fucking you on the sofa, though she screamed and cut her fingernails into her skin the entire way through. 

She even showed you the video of her attempting to seduce Spencer during their office hour. It was the first video in her collection, the first time she'd set up the camera. She used your entrance as proof that you were breaking her apart from her soul mate. From Spencer. 

You were a whore who had thrown herself at him in anyway you could, and you had trapped him with a baby. 

She was going to free him from all responsibility so he could be with her. 

“My baby will be your devil,” she said as the video ended, and you forced your heart to settle. 

“It is not your baby.”

“Spencer won't know that. He doesn't know it's your baby either, and who are the authorities going to believe when I show up with his child. One paternity test later, and I'll have him, and we can be a happy family together, and we can live happily. I'll take in your devil  and raise it as my own, and we'll forget about the whore who almost ruined it all.”

The psychosis was so clearly written on her face, you were surprised no one had caught onto her state yet. She was devolving. She'd been calm, and contemplative the first week. She'd laid out her plans still, her insane plans, and seemed somewhat coherent. 

Then she'd began rambling about the devil and soul mates, and you'd pitied her, even in your fear. 

Now you were just glad she counted your office tryst as your conception date, and you'd never corrected her. 

She still believed there was a month left until your death. You knew it was days. 

You just prayed your baby could buy you some time.

“Professor?” she said as she carried away the tray of items she'd checked your vitals with

“Yes.” 

“You are not in love with Spencer Reid,” she said, as if trying to convince you. 

“No,” you said, trying to convince yourself  though it was hopeless. “I am not in love with Spencer Reid.”

The first lead in the case came on your due date. Patient confidentiality was, happily, overlooked by a few doctors when he pressed the issue, needing to know until when he was counting down. 

He'd done the rough math himself, but he needed a professional opinion. 

The lead came in the form of an email. The university was cleaning out your office to make way for a new professor, despite his insistence that you'd return, and they needed him to collect things. 

And though he knew you'd be giving birth that day, and he had run out of time, something compelled him to go and do this menial task on today of all days. 

Luke had joined him, and then so had JJ and Emily, and Penelope and Tara. Rossi had even arrived to watch you pile books into boxes that were supposed to have lived on these shelves for a long career. Everyone in the room was so busy watching him, waiting for him to crack, that it had to be him to find it. 

At first, he thought it was a hole in the couch. It was so dark and black, its curved corners giving the illusion of introversion. Then he'd touched it and felt the rough bump. 

“Penelope, here, now,” he breathed out, gasping for air as he finally pulled the tiny spy camera free and thrust it into his friends hands. 

He had a lead. He had you now. 

The first hour of labour was inconvenient only because you weren't alone. She'd been tending to you all morning, fussing over your food, trying to maintain the right amount of prenatal vitamins as she usually did, but she'd ran out of two bottles, and the pharmacy wasn't open. 

You sat still and uncomfortable, trying to not even flinch as your water broke, too afraid of death to be thinking about the life you were bringing into this world. 

The second hour ticked by much the same until she left. 

The third came, and you ceased your screams of pain, even as your hands bore holes into your sheets. She returned, and you knew there wasn't much longer until she knew. 

By hour four, she had your legs spread and was watching you deliver your baby, and you knew the same blade that would sever your umbilical cord would also end your life. 

By hour five, you were so delirious with pain that you thought you saw Spencer. You heard his voice cooing to you as you pushed. You felt his hands wipe away your sweat, smooth the hair from your eyes. You heard his voice announce your daughters birth, and you felt his lips against your skin as you finally gave up fighting and drifted into oblivion. 

[touchtheinvisiblestars]

Imagine going through relationship issues with Spencer and a scare at works sets you both back on the right path

This had been the eighth night in a row you'd slept alone. Opting to sleep in the spare bedroom of the place you and Spencer had bought together. Waking up hurt and sad with your partner was an exhausting way to live, and it was getting to you. The team had been back at the main office for the same amount of time. Having a big bust up on the aftermath of a case meant the journey back on the jet was awkward for everyone involved.

When he hadn't agreed with the way you dealt with the unsub, on top of you both disagreeing on when to start trying for a family. Had left you feeling put down and attacked both in work and in your personal life. Feeling like you couldn't do anything right, and that you were holding him back.

It was made worse by his lack of enthusiasm when you attempted to make amends. Wanting to talk about the issue, but finding it difficult when your boyfriend was a stubborn lump. Shrugging his shoulders and seeming totally disinterested.

After the fourth day of you trying to get through to him. You gave in. Telling yourself that if he wanted to make amends he would. Or he'd realise once it was too late.

Today though, you had a meeting with Garcia, she was going to show you an easier way of accessing some files. The way she does it. Getting yourself up and ready. The house sounded eerily quiet. Spencer did have a habit of impersonating the invisible man when he was home. But still, it was cold and felt empty.

Making your way downstairs, you called out for him, but got no answer.

Realising he wasn't even home. You felt another pang in your chest. Maybe he was done? The thought made your eyes sting. But on checking the time, you would be late to meet Garcia. You grabbed your breakfast out the fridge and grabbed your bag and keys.

Once in the office, you passed the bullring to see Spencer at his desk. Nose deep in some files.

"Hey, what time did you come in? We could have come together." You asked, approaching his desk.

"Early. Didn't want to wake you."

Nodding, you still wanted to push for you both to make up, "did you want to grab lunch somewhere? Would be nice to spend some time with you."

"I'm busy."

"Well I didn't mean right now. Later. When you're free? I'm in Garcias office if you-"

"Y/N, you're here!" Garcia squeaked, "for a moment I thought you were standing me up."

Realising he still wasn't ready to have a decent conversation with you. You gave up, again.

"Never." You smiled at her, before giving Spencer a sad look as he continued to read his papers.

You sat down in Garcias office and fully immersed yourself in the training. Pushing Spencer to the back of your mind.

Around lunchtime you saw Spencer walk past the room and you felt another wave of sadness wash over you.

"So, what's up with you and Sir Smarts-a-lot?" Garcia asked you while you were taking a break.

"There's not really much to tell. We fell out over some serious and not so serious things. I've tried to patch things up. He doesn't want to know. Been trying for like 4 days now."

"I'm sorry. He does seem particularly cranky since you came back from that last case."

"Yeah. Happened while we were out there. I don't even-"

You were interrupted by the sound of shouting from out in the main office. Both you and Garcia looked at each other and wondered who the hell fell out with each other so bad they had to have a screaming match.

Both getting up and wandering down the hall. You just about turned the corner first. But froze in your tracks seeing two people, one with a gun, the other with a briefcase. The woman, with the gun, had the few people that were in the bullring huddled together.

"Shit Garcia go back to your office and lock the door. Call Spence and tell him to stay away. Now!" You whisper shout at her.

"Hey! Put your hands on your head. Get in here Miss now." one of them shouted at you. Not having noticed Garcia as she backed away to her office.

When you didn't move. The seemingly unarmed intruder marched towards you and attempted to grab onto you. As you went to defend yourself. He pulled out a knife and threatened you with it.

"Think very carefully about what you do next." He said lowly.

"What do you guys want. I can help you."

"No you won't. You'll just try and talk me down and I won't let them down again. Get in here or I'm going to make you. And it will hurt."

"What's your name? I'm Y/N. Why are you here? There's no weapons or money stored here. Are you looking for someone?"

"Shut up!" He yelled, you let out a gasp at the sharp pain in your side.

Looking down the blade he was holding embedded in your side. Crumpling down to the floor, you watched as the deep red soaked into your blouse. Spreading across your side.

"What the fuck Darren. You weren't supposed to hurt anyone." A woman came up to the guy and yanked him by his shoulder. "We need to set these charges now and go. Now!"

Charges, that meant explosives.

The pair rushed off and left you bleeding on the floor. Giving you the opportunity to make an escape.

Making it back to Garcias office. You burst through the door, scaring the life out of her.

"Y/N! Oh my god why is there blood. There's a knife hanging out of you."

"Did you speak to Spence?" You asked locking the door behind you.

"Yeah he's in the armory now. They-"

"Call him back! Tell them to abort. Do not come up here!"

"OK, what-why?" She spluttered while calling him back.

"Garcia? Is everything okay. We're just planning how we're going to do this." He answered. You could hear the sound of kevlar being secured. You managed to stumble your way across the room to Garcias desk before your legs gave out.

"Spence, where are you? Do not come up here. And keep people out of the lifts. Do not use them." You panted.

"Y/N are you okay? We haven't left yet. What's going on?"

"I'm fine. I just met the intruders. They're setting charges. Evacuate the rest of the building."

"What? They're going to blow up the building?" Garcia asked, her face paling.

"How big are the explosives?"

"I didn't see. I just managed to get away from them. I did see it was only a small briefcase though."

"That could still be enough to wipe out the whole floor. You need to leave now. Use the far stairwell."

"Garcia, you should go."

"What? I'm not leaving you."

"Both of you go. Now!" Spencer raised his voice.

You shared a look with Garcia, knowing you weren't moving anywhere fast enough.

"We should be okay here," Garcia nodded, "I'll stay with her."

"You're hurt aren't you." Spencer spoke quietly.

"A little bit yeah. Spence, I love you."

"Don't do that. I'm coming to get you."

"No do-" and then the call rang off.

Garcia came and sat next to you. You rested your head on her shoulder.

"I don't get what they were talking about. They said about setting charges. But when the woman saw I'd been stabbed she said they weren't supposed to hurt anyone. How does that make sense." You mutter, starting to feel woozy from the blood loss.

"Unless what they're trying to destroy is paperwork not people," Garcia mused.

"Hotchs office, he keeps loads of important documents in there." You guessed.

"That makes sense. He always takes Sunday's off. So he wouldn't be in there to get hurt."

"Garcia you really should go. Maybe you can get some help." You said quietly. Feeling very lightheaded.

Garcias phone started ringing, answering it she put it on loudspeaker.

"Go ahead. We're just sitting here awaiting our handsome prince's to rescue us."

"Garcia." Spencer answered, "how badly is she hurt? They won't let us get in yet. Not if there's a bomb threat. The whole buildings on lock down. They aren't holding hostages. The other guys from the office have run out already. Are they still there?"

"Woah, woah, woah. One question at a time. Y/N isn't doing great. I don't know what to do Reid. I'm not a doctor. But she's still bleeding."

"What? What happened."

"She got stabbed by one of them. It's still in there but it's-"

"We have to get in there Y/Ns been stabbed. Please. I volunteer to go in. Come on Hotch." He sounded desperate, it made you smile slightly. The irony that it took a near death situation to get him to act like he cared again.

A deafening boom shook the office, jolting you awake.

"Shit was that the-?" You asked.

"I think so." Garcia nodded. "We're okay. Spencer can you hear me?"

You slumped down against Garcias shoulder a bit more. Fighting the urge to fall asleep.

"We saw it. Blown the windows out of Hotch's office as well."

"Tell him..." You trailed off falling into unconsciousness.

Garcia looked at you, panic washing over her. "Y/N? Spencer she's passed out. I don't know what to do- I know I shouldn't take the knife out."

"Is she sat up or laying down?"

"She's sat up, do I lie her down?"

"Yes, don't knock the knife though- I need EMTs with me right now- Garcia, I need you to check if she's breathing." Spencer sounded out of breath, "I'm coming to you as fast as I can."

"Okay, she's laying down. And yes she's breathing."

"You're doing well Garcia. We're seconds away now."

Garcia still let out a scream when the paramedics burst through the door. Stumbling away from your figure, she bumped shoulders with Spencer as the experts dealt with you.

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Garcia asked him.

"I don't know. But I feel like a prized jackass now. What if she's not? She will have died thinking I was mad at her."

"I don't know what to say Reid. She was trying. She thought you'd stopped trying."

"The argument was stupid. I was more annoyed us arguing had ruined some plans I had."

"Plans? What do you-ohhh." Garcia cut herself off as she clocked onto what Spencer meant.

He quickly pocketed the small jewellery box as the EMT turned to the pair of them.

[mopopshop]

Ur Best Friend

Inspired by the song “Ur Best Friend” - Kehlani and Kiana Ledé (such a good song oml 🙏🏾) 

Paige x fem!OC (cause ion do that y/n stuff, no hate but I don’t🧍🏾‍♀️)

Featuring: Jalen Suggs

Words: 2k

Themes: 

-drinking

-cheating (sorry fam)

-slight sexual content

As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden hue over the backyard, the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. It was my boyfriend Jalen's twenty-third birthday, and I had spared no effort in planning the perfect party. A few weeks earlier, we’d just celebrated our five months, so I had to have a party to top the last. The decorations were up, the music playlist carefully curated (tons of Rod Wave and Bryson Tiller), and the scent of food filled the air.

Among the guests was Paige, Jalen's best friend since eighth grade. I've always been cordial with her, exchanging polite smiles and casual conversation whenever she was around. But something had shifted in the past few weeks. A subtle tension lingered between us, sparking whenever our eyes met, igniting something unfamiliar yet exhilarating.

She'd gotten more touchy with me as well, a hand on the lower back and a hushed "excuse me" to get past, a casual arm over the shoulder during group hangouts, a hug or two, but up until a few weeks ago, I'd seen these as nothing less than innocent.

She's a friend, you know? Jalen's friend at that, so no way in hell I'd ever try anything with her. Not to say she's not, you know... good-looking. She'd 100% be my type if it wasn't for Jalen. Paige's tall, she's blonde, she's funny, has a nice smile—did I mention tall? Sometimes she wears these glasses which make her look—

"Aniyah!!"

I'm pulled from my thoughts as my friend Gigi waves me over to her.

"Come on, we're about to sing happy birthday," she smiles and rushes over to me, grabbing my arm and dragging me into the kitchen.

As I followed Gigi into the kitchen, my heart skipped with something unfamiliar upon seeing her. Paige was already there, chatting with a few other guests and standing next to Jalen. She was wearing a grey Nike tech sweatsuit under the jacket, a white tee, her classic braided ponytail, and topped off the look with white Jordan 4’s.

As I moved through the crowd, I couldn't help but steal glances at her. At times, we made eye contact which deepened the flush in my cheeks.

I’d told Jalen earlier that week that I wanted to toast to him before we sang for the cake, and I’d prepared something ahead of time, but now as the moment approached, something about it just hadn’t felt right. In the midst of my thinking, I don’t notice Jalen coming up to me with open arms.

“Hey baby, you good?” He says with a look of worry.

I’m startled by the sound of his voice and am quickly ripped from my thoughts.

“Hey! Yeah yeah I’m fine… just hoping you like my toast,” I breathe out, praying he doesn’t press the issue.

He smiles and says nothing, placing his hand on the small of my back and directing me towards the front of the crowd… towards Paige.

I lock eyes with Paige again and I rush to look away, but as I go to look back, I notice she’s still staring.

What was this tension between us? And why was it becoming harder to ignore?

Gigi nudged me playfully, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Girl what is going on with you today, you gonna do this toast or what?”

With a deep breath, I grab my shot glass and get everyone’s attention.

“Hey y’all, before we sing happy birthday, I just wanted to make a toast to my man. Tonight, let's raise our glasses to celebrate Jalen's 23rd birthday. Jalen, you're more than just a boyfriend; you're my rock.”

Even as I say these words and the more I go on, I don’t feel as though they’re genuine. All I can do is think of Paige…

“Your kindness, strength, and passion inspire me every day. Your laughter lights up any room, and your presence warms my heart. Here's to another year of smiles, laughter, and adventures together. Happy birthday, Jalen! Cheers!”

I tip my head back and down the shot, feeling the lukewarm liquid burn its way through my throat. Bringing my head up, I catch Paige’s gaze once again, and this time I don’t look away.

Suddenly my view of her is obscured as a group of Jalen’s friends come from the hallway with his birthday cake. Everyone gathers around Jalen, me on his right side and Paige on his left while Jalen holds the cake in the middle. We quickly sing happy birthday, and he blows out his candles. He turns to me to go in for a kiss, but I catch sight of Paige behind him and end up swerving his kiss.

“Yo.. seriously you good babe?” Jalen spews sort of irritated.

“Fine! I’m fine,” I squeak out, “Just…”

My gaze falls over to Paige, seeing her fight back a smile or maybe a chuckle at the sight of me rejecting Jalen’s kiss.

“… distracted.”

“Uh.. cool, okay,” I see him look to his friend group.

“I’m just gonna go and talk with the boys for a minute,” and he presses a brief kiss to my cheek.

“Have fun!” I turn around and try to yell over the music, but I can tell he’s already forgotten about me.

When I look back, I see Paige again. She makes prolonged eye contact then trails her eyes to the porch outside. Cocking her head towards the door as if to say “let’s talk out here” and promptly turns around and heads out the back doors.

I wait a few minutes before heading out to follow her because as much as I long to talk with her, I’m not trying to look desperate. Slowly but surely, I make my way over to the doors, pushing them open to see Paige leaning with her forearms on the railing.

“What are you following me out here for?” Paige teases turning her head with a smirk. I laugh quietly, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

She stands up straight, turning around to face me, leaning her back on the railing, crossing her feet and arms.

“You're trying to be shy so bad, get your ass over here,” She laughs.

I throw my hands up defensively, my voice pitching up a little bit, “I’m not being shy! I just don’t know what to say right now.”

Paige reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me entirely too close to her. “You don’t have to be so weird, it’s just me,” she says softly while caressing my fingers.

“I just- I.. I don’t know! Everything’s just so complicated right now,” I confess.

“Well talk to me about it,” she continues caressing my fingers, which makes it increasingly hard to think straight.

“I can’t.”

“Why not, mamas?”

That god damn nickname.

“I can’t because it’s about you.”

“What about me?”

“I can’t say! I just- it’s like- If I say how I really feel about.. you know everything, It’s gonna be real, and I’m not sure if I want it to be real.”

“Ma, you’re not making any sense right now.”

“I know!” I throw my hands up in frustration, I feel hot and flustered, and Paige being less than two feet from me isn’t making it any better.

Paige grabs my chin, bringing me closer and forcing eye contact.

“Hey, hey, look at me. Seriously breathe through it, you’re okay,” She says calming me down. “Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

I take a deep breath and back away from Paige slightly, letting the word vomit take its course.

“Every time I see you, my heart races, and my palms get all sweaty. I try to play it cool, you know. But let's be real, I am desperate. Desperate to talk to you, to be near you, to just be in your presence. And when I finally gather the courage to make my way over to you, my knees feel like jelly, and my words get all jumbled up. But you! You just stand there with that smirk on your face, teasing me, and you know you have this effect on me, you love it. I know you do.

And then you show up to Jalen’s party, making all the faces and giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes, and it’s just- it’s a lot to deal with! So I come out here to shut it down, but you make it so fucking hard by pulling me closer, rubbing my fingers and shit, making it impossible for me to think straight. And then by asking me what's on my mind, what's bothering me, you’ve become a better partner to me in ten minutes than Jalen ever has in these past five months.

And I know I should just spill my heart out to you, which I quite literally am doing right now, and tell you how I feel and hope for the best. But it's not that simple. I am scared, scared of losing you, of ruining our friendship, of making things awkward between us. But I can't help the way I feel, Paige. I just feel like the biggest asshole for doing this to Jalen because even though he’s not the best boyfriend, he’s still a good guy. I don’t know…”

I take a deep breath after that, looking at Paige’s face for any sign of disgust.

“Aniyah, I…” she starts.

“See, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I told you it was stupid! I knew you didn’t feel the same, and I opened my mouth anyways,” I quickly backtrack.

“Paige, I’m sorry, I’m just acting all crazy because Gigi’s birthday dinner's in a few days, and I have an early exam tomorrow, just super busy with things! Again, so sorry I-“

I’m quickly cut off by the feeling of Paige’s lips crashing onto mine and her arms wrapping around my waist.

“Don’t apologize for anything,” she breathes out in between kisses.

After a good minute or two of deep kisses, we break apart with our foreheads touching. I bring my arms around her neck while hers stay around my waist, rubbing the material of my black mini dress.

The air around us feels charged with electricity as we stand there, our breaths mingling in the warm night air. Paige's touch sends shivers down my spine, and I find myself lost in the moment, forgetting everything else except her and the connection between us.

"Aniyah," Paige whispers, her voice barely audible over the distant hum of music and chatter from the party.

"Yeah?" I respond softly, my heart still racing from the intensity of our kiss.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," she admits, her blue eyes searching mine for any sign of hesitation or regret.

“Same,” I smile, and we both laugh.

“This… this is not a good idea,” I sigh out.

“Probably,” she jokes. “But I really wanna kiss you again, so maybe let’s have this conversation in the morning,” Paige tilts her head back down to kiss me again.

I squeal, “Paige! Hold on, Jalen’s still here. So is literally everyone else.”

“C’monnn.. Jalen’s probably blacked out or cross-faded by now. Let’s just sneak past everybody…” She leans down, kissing up my neck.

“I… Paige..” I breathe out.

“Hm?”

“Seriously.. hold on two seconds. Just let me check on him.”

She rolls her eyes sassily, gripping my waist again, “Fine.”

I pull her hands off my waist, interlocking our fingers and dragging her with me back into the house full of drunken young adults. We continue to weave our way through the house finally getting to the room packed full of loud frat guys, including Jalen.

As Paige predicted, Jalen’s 6’3 self passed out on the couch surrounded by his friends in equal states.

“I fuckin’ told you dude,” Paige nudges me with her elbow.

“Shut up!” I laugh turning around and pushing her back slightly.

She grips my wrist, pulling me into her body. “Now can we…? You know..” she says smirking.

I burst out laughing, “Yes! Jesus, you—horndog.”

“The fuck is a horndog, bruh?” She replies chuckling.

“Girl I don’t know! And by the way, don’t call me ‘bruh’ when you’re trying to shove your fingers ins-“

Slapping a hand over my mouth, “Okay okay!”

We both laugh to ourselves as we stumble up the stairs with our mouths attached, bumping into walls and pictures along the way. Finally reaching my room and falling through the doorway.

[agi-ppangx]

💭it's all good now

pairing: seo changbin x fem!reader

word count: 693

tags: non idol au, estabilished relationship, pregnancy, angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of difficult pregnancy, the reader is scared of loosing her child, a bit of crying, fluffy ending

author's note: i feel kinda weird writing something about being pregnant since i dont want to have kids myself, but today i saw my cousin and her fiancé with their son and this idea popped in my head, so here it is!! feedback and reblogs highly appreciated 🫶🏽

when you found out you were pregnant, you were beyond happy. starting a family with your fiancé was something you had dreamed about for a long time. at the beginning, everything was great, your morning sickness didn't really bother you and the baby was developing correctly. however, it all started to go wrong when you were about to enter the second trimester. your condition was getting worse and the pregnancy was at risk. you had spent several weeks in a hospital, praying for your baby to be healthy and strong. you became severely anxious and even after returning home from the hospital you were very cautious.

your daughter had been born in the eighth month of pregnancy, which forced you to stay with her in the hospital for another couple of weeks. after many tests, it turned out she was healthy, so you could take her home.

but even if you knew she was okay, your anxiety grew with every passing day. whenever you heard her cry you would rush to the nursery, praying that she was just hungry.

and changbin was there with you throughout the whole time, reassuring you that everything will be fine, even if he was quite scared himself. he would stay all night by your hospital bed, gently holding your hand and caressing your cheek. and he would drive you to all the tests, making sure you had someone by your side to minimise your stress level. your were truly grateful for him. he was your biggest rock, taking care of you and for your daughter after she was born.

now it was a whole month since your baby was born. when you woke up at 4 in the morning hearing her cry, you immediately got up and rushed to her nursery. please be fine, please be fine you murmured under your nose. you ran into the room with a pounding heart just to find your daughter in changbin's arms. "hey" he whispered, looking at you with concern. "i have changed her diaper already, but i think she's hungry" he stated and you took her in your arms, rocking her gently and murmuring softly. you sat comfortably in your chair and started feeding her. changbin crouched in front of you and tried to make eye contact with you, but you were too focused on your daughter, now silent and content. "y/n" he whispered to catch your attention. "everything fine?" changbin questioned. you sighed shakily, trying not to tear up. "yeah, it's just… i'm still scared about her. i know that she's fine and i should relax, but i just cannot get rid of these thoughts of her not being fine" you said in one breath, quietly enough not to disturb the baby. changbin placed his hand on your knee, caressing it gently and collecting thoughts. "i'm scared too" he said eventually. "i'm scared and my thoughts are racing and i can't stop it. but i want to believe that future is brighter than the past. we have suffered so much already, especially you two. and i want to cry just by thinking about these times. but i also want to believe that everything what's bad has passed and now it'll only get better. it's all good now sweetheart. you're okay and our baby is okay as well" changbin stated. you started to tear up and you couldn't even wipe away the tears that have fallen. but you had changbin, who did it for you. you smiled when you saw him tear up as well.

when your daughter was fed you put her to sleep and dragged yourself to your bedroom. changbin was waiting there for you, ready to cuddle you and kiss your anxiety away. "thank you binnie" you said when you laid your body in his arms. "anything for my favourite girls on this planet" he kissed the crown of your head and you hummed in content. changbin made you feel safe. he was always there for you, knowing exactly what you needed and what words to use to make you cheer up. and you were beyond happy that he was the father of your baby.

[kdramaxoxo]

Sorry if you've been asked this a million times, but who are your favorite couples from the last couple years?

Congratulations Anon! This ask is AMAZING and I've never been asked it before! Shocking right?? :P

My favorite K-Drama Couples 2023- Spring 2024

NOTE: I tried to include 2022 but my list got too long :)

Moving (Bong-Seok & Hee-Soo, Joo-Won & Hye-Won & Doo-Shik & Mi-Hyun): It's very obvious by this list how much I love this drama and how many blorbo-from-my-shows it created for me. And I know I'm only reviewing couples, but I was blown away by this drama. I don't even LIKE superhero shows, but I made an exception for this one and I'm so glad I did. If you like character development and plays on good vs. evil, I highly rec this! Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo are one of my favorite couples EVER and I loved the softness and epic romance of Joo-Won & Hye-Won. (And we all know that scene at the rainy window with Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo). These couples are really EVERYTHING.

Tale of the Nine Tailed: 1938 (Lee-rang & Yeo-Hee): This is the only time I've ever watched a season two and liked it better than season one. It's probably because it featured my favorite tragic half fox Lee Rang and gave him a love line with a mermaid. The two are SO sweet together---SOB!

Tell me That You Love Me (Mo-Eun & Jin-Woo): Wow. Maybe one of the softest couples I've ever seen in existence. Just watching them together was like a warm blanket in front of a cozy fireplace. I didn't like the ending choice which is a shame, but the drama was super well done and I still think people should watch it. There is also a very cute high school couple too!

The Eighth Sense (Jae-Won & Ji Hyun): not to be dramatic (just kidding!) this is the best bl kdrama I've ever seen. Literally this is it! I don't even want to tell you about the couple because I want you to just watch it! I'm dying for the writer to make another one because we need more queer media like this one!

Crash Course In Romance (Haeng-Seon & Chi-Yeol): Give me a noona romance featuring a man who has not felt warmth in 1000 years (ok not literally but this dude needs to have a warm meal made by an amazing lady!) This drama fell apart at the end (this seems to be a theme this year) but the couple makes it worth watching.

King The Land (Gu-Won & Sa-Rang): If you're looking for a low stakes, totally fluffy, rom com with TONS of chemistry (featuring MY BIAS!), King the Land is for you. Amazing skinship, kisses and just like a really fun duo to watch. Plot? Not so much but there are a billion good moments-- just look at the tags: They are full of cuteness.

Love After Divorce Season 4 (Benita & Jerome): Listen, I know I'm cheating by putting a reality tv show on this list but if you're in the mood for one, I highly recommend this season (it's on Netflix). Benita and Jerome will steal your heart and they are still together! I'm rooting for them. <3

See you in my 19th Life (Ji-Eum & Seo-Ha, Da-Hoon & Cho-Won): My bias Shin Hye Sun kills it in this drama featuring past life romance. Honestly it's not fair because this drama is totally my vibe so I'm obviously going to love the mains. But when a drama gives you more than one love line and they are both interesting and lovely?? Chef's Kiss!

Dr. Slump (Jeong-Woo & Ha-Neul): This drama TOTALLY fell apart at the end and left us all very disappointed, but that's not because our leads weren't a perfect couple! They bonded over mental illness and even took their meds together. Communication: check. Comfort/Healing: check. Chemistry: check!

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (Yun-Woo & Tae-Ha). You probably don't know this but I've been following Bae In Hyuk's career since we was in silly little web dramas. Seeing him as a lead is really wild! To be fair, he's not nearly the actor that Lee Se Young is, but do we care about that when there's a time slip romance drama featuring a historical lady who's been thrown into the future and has to fake marry someone who looks just like her de*d husband for reasons??

Thank you so much for this ask - it was super fun!! Maybe I should do 2022 next?? :D

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 4

Chapter 2: The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Warning: Strong language, mention of death and mental illness, talk of addiction.

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

A few days passed and they all forgot about Jennifer and the dry cleaner. Viktor decided to stay a few days to make up to Grace for missing her birthday, and Klaus was trying to be more romantic than usual.

"Was that good?" He asked, lying next to His wife.

"Yeah... yeah of course," Victoria nodded.

"You don't have to lie."

"It was okay. You're too soft."

"I can't be rough, you're pregnant!"

She turned her back to him and looked at the jar of marigold on her nightstand.

"I'm sorry," he said with eyes full of tears. "I don't know what to do anymore to save us. I don't know how to be different from what I am now."

"I know," she murmured. "You know how Dad took our powers and all? Because we kept ending the world, but that was because some of our powers were destructive. Allison can start and end wars and she's not mentally stable, Ben can commit a massacre without breaking a sweat, Five can mess with the timeline... but we're not destructive. You just become immortal and see a few ghosts. Alright you can conjure them and stuff, but you won't need to."

"Are you suggesting I drink this shit?"

"That would make you feel safer and nobody would have to know... then you could go back to being the man I love."

"What do you mean? You don't love me anymore?"

"How can I love someone who carries a gas mask to go places?" She snapped. "Who won't eat a runny egg yolk! Who needs to bathe in alcohol before getting in bed? Who won't buy used books because someone might have left fluids on them that could give you a disease? I can't stand your restrictions anymore and you're making our daughter into a fucking wimp like you! You're boring and your new haircut sucks! You getting sober was the worst thing that ever happened to me!"

A silence took over the room and he started crying, scared to wake up their daughter with all the screaming.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Victoria quickly tried to take it back, but words are like bullets. They can't be unshot.

"Three years... you wanna throw three years down the drain because that's what you want, right?" Klaus sobbed. "You love our little parasitic relationship, the eternal screwup and his holy savior! I'm your charity case, I've always been and you feel so superior because you can smoke a joint once in a while, have a few drinks and you're fine! You can go back to being normal Victoria, but I have a disease! Once I start, I can't stop!"

"I know... I didn't mean to-"

"Every time I'd relapse back in the day, you got a glint in your eye! Oh, I get to save him again!"

"That's not true! You know damn well how hard I tried to keep you sober! I said it without thinking!"

"No, don't take it back. Dysfunction is what we do best in this family so how could we ever raise our children in a happy home? You need to traumatize them like Dad did you us! Because you think it made you tough, it made you interesting, it built character. Newsflash, sweetheart! You're just broken and full of Daddy issues!"

"How can you say that?" She started crying as well. They had not fought this badly since she left him to work in California.

"You're selfish and a big baby! You leave me when things get too hard or too boring, you did it when we were 25 and you're doing it now! I'm so done living cowering in your little bubble of superiority!"

"I took care of you your whole life! I made sure you didn't get in trouble, I made sure you were fed and healthy and safe! I was your shield for 30-something years! You know I'd take a bullet for you even now that I'm no longer indestructible! You think it was easy? You think I like picking your sorry ass off the floor when you hit rock bottom?"

"Bottom? Moi? There's no bottom here, missy, no bottom at all. I'm the goddamn Mariana Trench! Just wait till you see!"

"You're threatening me now? Give me a fucking break, I wanted to help you, you coward! So scared of a little itty bitty ghosts that you need to pop every pill on the planet. Your power is a gift!"

"You wouldn't survive a day with my power! So easy for you... I don't feel pain, nothing hurts me!"

"I'd thrive with your power, you're just too weak and cowardly to deal with it how it's supposed to be!"

"Thank you... you know truly thank you. Finally a grain of honesty. Feels refreshing! You wanted the old Klaus? You got him!" He reached for the jar of marigold but she took it from him.

"I'll put this away, nothing good is gonna come from taking this shit..." Victoria got up and grabbed a box from the top shelf to leave the jar in, but she found something that caught her eye. A card.

"Give it to me! You want me to so bad to be your pet junkie again!"

"No! I'll give it back to whoever gave it to us!"

"You'll return it to the man in the dry cleaner?"

"No, someone else... look after Fortune, I'll be back."

**

Victoria headed to the Hargreeves mansion, she had not been there in years. Not ever since she tried to get the location of their birth mothers, but Reginald knew nothing of it.

The guards were more than eager to let her in, they treated her like she was actually part of the family.

When she walked into the mansion, she heard the sweet sound of a violin being played by a beautiful lady who looked almost angelic.

"Abigail."

"Hello, Victoria," she smiled, putting down the violin. "Long time no see! What brings you here today? I see you're glowing, when can we expect the second little one?"

"You forgot your jar of marigold," Vicky leaned against the wall in front of her.

"I'm sorry? I think you're mistaken."

"No, I'm not, step-mama. You know, I can't read minds anymore, but I'm not stupid. That whole Sy Grossman story was mighty suspicious. So I turned to the note you gave us to send the location of Viktor. Where had I seen that handwriting before? Oh yeah! The card you sent to us the day my daughter was born. I had to check it to make sure, and there it was... your handwriting. Now would you tell me why you gave us a jar of this stuff?"

"I synthesized marigold back in my world, but when I created this new element, another one was accidentally produced as a byproduct... Durango."

"Durango."

"Yes, and it's inside of Jennifer."

"Jennifer... as in Jennifer who got my brother killed?"

"I do not know about that... but when marigold and durango interact, there's a dangerous physical reaction."

"Makes sense. He touched Jennifer and started getting this weird rash, then his tentacles were out of control, and he ended up killing himself and the girl... but wait, you gave us Marigold and sent us to look for durango? Do you wanna fucking kill us?" Victoria grabbed Abigail by the collar.

"What is the meaning of this?" Reginald came into the room with a scowl. "Unhand my wife right now!"

"Your wife tried to end the world! I have a child and I'm expecting another! I have a nephew and nieces, how could you do this?"

"I never asked to be brought back!" Abigail finally said. "Reginald brought me back to life and I didn't ask for it! He unleashed this danger into your world after it destroyed ours, I just wanted to cleanse it."

"Very well, it's cleansed," Victoria opened the jar and tossed it in the fireplace. "Now don't you ever come near me or my family, with or without powers, I will end your sorry ass with my bare hands."

"There's no need for this sort of-" Reginald placed himself between them.

"Don't you miss being so strong?" Abigail held up a vial of marigold. "Nothing could hurt you, you knew what everyone was thinking and even controlled it, you controlled what they felt... wasn't it great?"

"I'm great without my powers, I'm a mother and a wife, a business owner... that's all I wanna be," Victoria sneered.

"What about your husband? Don't you miss him? Don't you miss the devil-may-care Klaus? Who jumped in front of cars and spent all night partying? The man you fell in love with is gone."

"Shut up..."

"This is the very last of the marigold in the world. Enough for two people... maybe three, if you want to make your daughter special as well. Protect her from the world."

Victoria sniffled and grabbed the vial, she looked at it and for a moment all the memories from her youth came rushing back.

She remembered crazy nights with Klaus, dance lessons, their mother's shoes, their college days, his face while getting his palms tattooed, the amazing girls she met in Vietnam, her life in the 60s, the cult, his proposal, their wedding, falling out of her window when he tickled her... and it was the concrete that shattered.

"It was the concrete that shattered," Victoria mumbled, opening the vial.

"All you have to do is to look for Jennifer," Abigail murmured.

"Will it hurt us?"

"You won't feel a thing. You and your family will be protected. You won't face the same ending as your brother."

"There's another thing I'm good at besides recognizing handwritings..." Vicky swallowed. "Recognizing liars."

She tossed the glowing liquid into the fire once again and turned her back to leave.

"Victoria!" Abigail called.

"Enjoy the rest of your life in our world and don't you dare create more of this shit. I'll come kill you myself."

**

Meanwhile, back at home, Klaus was pacing around the room. He kept replaying and replaying all the moments from the fight in his mind and it hurt more and more each time he remembered.

That familiar need started taking over and he knew he was about to relapse. He took the phone and called Claire, asking her to come over and pick up Fortune because he had to take care of an emergency.

After that, he started going through the house grabbing everything valuable he could get his hands on. First his own wedding ring, Vicky's collectible Disney music boxes, her jewelry, the Rolex she got him for their anniversary, and finally their daughter's piggy bank.

He smashed Fortune's porcelain pig on the floor and grabbed all the money inside before pulling their flat screen off the wall in the living room.

"Daddy?" Fortune stood behind him. "Why did you break the piggy bank? I'm saving for a Barbie Dream House!"

"Tunnie baby!" He tried to smile. "You're here! Claire is coming to pick you up so you can play at Aunt Alli's house."

"What are you doing, Dada?" She frowned, noticing something was clearly weird.

"You know this TV has been on the fritz for a while. Haven't you noticed, baby girl? I just thought I'd take her down to the old geek lab, let them work their magic."

"It's not broken, Dada. You're weird, I'm scared... where's Mommy?"

Fortune tried to come closer, but Klaus held his hand up.

"No no no! Your feet, sweetheart, you'll hurt your feet with the shards. Watch your feet, sweetheart!" He cried, covering his mouth in panic. "The piggy was an accident, Tunnie, I'll pay you back."

"I don't care about the money, Dada, I want you to be okay," the little girl looked down, tears running down her face. "I know something's wrong, please tell me so we can talk and make it better."

"I'll talk to you, Tunnie, I will. But Daddy has had a horrible day and he just can't... just can't have this conversation right now. I'm sorry."

"Claire said you were sick. That you needed help to stay healthy, are you not feeling well again? I can help you! I'll call 911, please stay with me!"

"It's too late, baby, I'm sorry. You stay put and wait for your cousin, okay? You need to stay on the couch waiting for her and when mommy comes back, she'll pick you up."

"No, Daddy! Don't go! You're sick, you need a doctor!" Fortune tried to stop him from going to the door.

"No, Tunnie, Daddy's gonna leave now just for a little bit."

"Please stay! It's dark and I'm scared!"

"I gotta go-"

"But Daddy...!"

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST FUCKING MOVE?" He yelled. "NOW DO WHAT YOUR FATHER SAYS AND DON'T TALK BACK, FORTUNE BENNIE HARGREEVES!"

The little girl was stunned into silence and her little pout quickly turned into panic as she started crying harder. She watched her father leave and sat on the floor sobbing quietly.

Not once had he ever raised his voice at his daughter, she was an easy girl and never got in trouble. She never needed to be punished or grounded, he always considered himself lucky... but now Klaus feared he was turning into what he hated most: his father.

*

"Hello," Victoria picked up the phone as she drove back home.

"Vicky, we need to get together right now," Five said. "Bring Klaus."

"I don't know where he is, he left Fortune at Allison's and disappeared with our TV and my jewelry. I'm looking for him right now."

"Shit... we need you! I think we have some more insight on the whole Jennifer situation."

"So do I, wait until I tell you who planted the marigold in that box and sent us after durango."

"What? What are you talking about? Ben is here! We're all at the old Academy."

"I know, he's an asshole. Big news..."

"No, not Sparrow Ben, our Ben."

"What?" She nearly crashed the car when she made a turn to head to the Academy. "How?"

"He found this sort of subway where the train takes you to different timelines, there's a crack in time and space which made several portals around the world to this station. The timelines are bleeding into each other."

"Please don't say another apocalypse is coming, I can't cope," she huffed.

"No, I mean, not if we find out how this is all connected. It's supposed to be one timeline, The Keepers, that group Sy mentioned... Lila and I have been infiltrated there for months and they know we're in the wrong timeline."

"Well fuck, that means the cleanse is a little more drastic than I thought."

"How do you know about the cleanse?"

"Abigail told me, it's a whole chemical thing with Jennifer. I'll explain better once I'm there."

"Jennifer? Oh, that makes sense why Dad is trying to keep her away from society."

"He is?"

"Jean and Gene, the leaders of that group I told you about were just murdered along with a bunch of their followers when they tried to kidnap Jennifer from the make-believe town where she lives. Everyone in the town is a Hargreeves soldier."

"Alright, I'm so confused. The Klaus hunt will have to wait, I'll be there in five... Five."

Tag List: @jozstankovich @firstpersonnarrator @salvador-daley

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Drama CD Hijikata Biyori Track 35 Eng

After track 36, I think there are 4 biyori specials I've got tl for that remain untranslated (though I'm not 100% sure of that...), and then I'm sorta debating about translating the Hakuoki x Sengoku Night Blood crossover main story (I can't do anything but the main story, which is in 5 parts 😅. also this is all your fault koto 😝).

Anyway, this month, I'm likely just going to stick to posting on Friday or Saturday. My workday ends at 2pm on Friday this month so it'll probably be easier to post then... that is assuming I can finish game testing beforehand (been speed-running but it takes time...).

Hakuoki Hijikta Biyori Track 35: Return

English translation by KumoriYami

Hijikata: I'm, back.

Kondou: Ooh, you've worked hrd, Toshi.

Hijikta: Oh?....What, it's just Kondou-san.

Kondou: What? That's a terrible thing to say.

Hijikta: Haha, Sorry. I thought one of the other members would be here.

Kondou: Ahahaha... I see, I see/really, really. Were they scared by me? It seems that I did something wrong to Toshi.

Hijikta: No, it's nothing like that…

Kondou: Come on, don't stand there forever, come inside and go get some rest.

Toudou: The Eighth Division has returned!

Kondou: Oh! It's Heisuke. Thank you for your hard work.

Hijikata: Good work.

Toudou: Hey what's going on? You two are actully greeting me? What happened?

Hijikta: What are you saying. I just got back too.

Toudou: Oh, I see. I was really surprised since I thought that something had hppened for Kondou-san and Hijikata-san to come greet me. Well, this makes me feel better.

Hijikata: Then you'll have to work hard to make up for it.

Kondou: Oh, that's right. Heisuke even looks like he wants to keep working.

Toudou: What!? Wait, even Kondou-san!

Kondou: Hahahaha! I ws just kidding, just kidding! You can head inside and go rest, Heisuke.

Hijikata: Sorry, Kondou-san.

Kondou: What's wrong, why raeyou suddenly saying that. s, all of a sudden.

Hijikata: Ah... You obviously have things to do, and I kept you here.

Kondou: What are you talking about?

Hijikata: You were going to go somewhere, weren't you? You were at standing right by the entrance… Toudou: Ah, what. If that's the case, just say that, Kondou-san. I'll open this now, so wait a moment.

Kondou: No, I wsan't going anywhere.

Hijikata: Huh?

Todou: Really?

Hijikata: If you weren't going anywhere, what were you doing here?

Kondou: I wsa only thinking that you'd be returning soon, so I came to greet you.

Hijikata: Is that all?

Kondou: That's right…

Hijikata:…What's wrong, Kondou-san?

Kondou: Should I not have?

Hijikata: No, it's not like that…

Todou: Thank you, Kondou-san! I, Todou Heisuke, have returned safely!

Kondo: Nn, I see. I'm glad that you're safe.

Toudou: Of course. Kondou-san really worries a lot. Right, Hijikta-san.

Hijikata: Yeah… that's right. Kondou-san, we're not that weak. We'll definitely return safely. So, don't waste your precious time on something trivial like this.

Toudou: Yes, that's right.

Kondou: I see. Haha, that's true. But… I've had a lot of things to worry about lately.

Hijikata: In that case, I'll at least get rid of one of them. Hijkta Toshizou has safely returned.

Kondou: Ah, welcome back, Toshi.

---end---

[besiegedhunter]

Upcoming Sui thoughts and theories

Because 4.5 Anniv for Global is so soon it'd be a good time to delve into my random thoughts regarding the Sui in a more uniform manner. However this is going off CN information and so contains spoilers from the next Sui event, which as of this has yet to come out for Global.

(Also I'm not Chinese nor am I that knowledgeable. Please fact check these for yourself or take it with a pinch of salt.)

So first thing is first, what we currently know about the Sui siblings. I will be basing a lot of thoughts off this shot from the Yan: Wars of Ruin PV:

Which orders them as such:

Now of these we know:

Chongyue

Wang

Ling

Unknown

Jie

Shu

Ji

Unknown

Nian

Unknown

Dusk

Chef Brother

Now we do have some information about the identities of some of the unknown Sui siblings, being the 4th, 8th and 10th.

In "Invitation to Wine" IW-7 After, Ling says:

The first younger sister is Dusk but the younger sister in words of gold doesn't have any good options of the known sisters. Jie would've been a good guess but Ling knowns she's dead by this point as she references it later. Shu has some fortune telling, which could be a stretch on 'making it so' however the phrasing seems unlikely to be her. Nian is even more unlikely as nothing about her is connected to words.

Further to the point we know of the siblings we haven't seen yet that only 4th, 8th or 10th could be this sister with words of gold and of them we know of one confirmed sister.

In the same event, in IW-ST-3:

Further context has confirmed that the "third sis" mentioned here is Jie, the fifth Sui sibling. As Ling, the third sibling is also the first sister, that means that the 4th sibling must be the second sister.

We don't have any definitive information as to what the 8th and 10th siblings are and seeing how both the words of gold sister and the fourth sibling being the second sister were planned at the same time since Invitation to Wine, it's probable but unconfirmed that they are one in the same.

The second mentioned sibling we have was mentioned in "Where Vernal Winds Will Never Blow" in WB-8, where in a conversation with Jieyun's dying mentor Chonyue says:

So we have a Brother with healing capabilities. Now Chongyue to date is the only playable Brother but we know at least two quite well. The first being Wang, the second brother who if he wasn't in prison right now, is a gambler and his ability is learning skills. The next oldest Brother Ji one might make a case for however I don't think it's him.

Ji claims to be able to grant wishes but it's in his capacity as a business man. He uses his resources to grant wishes and mostly to secure his own gain, the crux of "Here a People Sows" is on a deal he makes and uses his business to accomplish. His ability is using fabrics to make sentient beings. He's no healer.

The best bet of the siblings we know anything about is the Chef Brother. If you look at Gummy, food can be used to heal and so the thought could be that he could be capable of healing similarly. But I have a different proposal: the eighth sibling:

Eighth Sibling

Bear with me. So to start, this is the image of the Eighth sibling:

As you can see, they are holding something which for the point of my theory we will say is some kind of string instrument. We'll come back to that but just keep it in your mind.

So I got into looking at Chinese Numerology in regards to the Sui Siblings and I found that it does seem to match very well, identically with them. I suggest looking it up yourself to confirm these but to run through them:

Can symbolize loneliness - Chongyue

Doubles are used to emphasize a certain thing (come back to that) but it can also mean 'easy' or 'bright' - Wang, and I want to draw attention to his ability to learn skills to a masterful degree

Sounds like the word for 'to live' but also 'to separate' or 'to part ways' - Ling

Skipping 4.

5. Sounds like 'Me' and combined with other numbers would have meanings like 'My life' 'My death' 'My prosperity' and was connected to the Emperor and the five elements - Jie

6. Sounds like 'good fortune' - Shu, again her ability is fortune telling

7. Can sounds like 'deceive' and 'penis' - Ji

Skipping 8 for now.

9. Historically the number most connected with the Chinese Emperor. It has lots of connections there but it can also mean 'long-lasting' as well as 'penis'. Apparently as opposed to 7, 9 is an erect one. Including that just because - Nian

Skipping 10.

11. As I stated for 2, a double of a number will emphasize the original's meaning, so for one symbolizing loneliness, 11 does as well - Dusk

I'll skip 12 because it's a bit complicated but to my understanding it as a combination of 1 and 2 and further meanings to them, 12 symbolizes harmony.

So as I said, for the most part these meanings to can see in the Sui siblings characters but I skipped 8. That's because 8 means 'to prosper' and 88 means 'double joy'. It's very common for multiple 8s to be used because of how lucky it is seen to be.

Now I could leave Eight there. 'To Prosper' 'Joy' etc, works well for Doctors and Musicians but I do want to take this further by pointing to these Chinese pictograph characters:

I hope that the similarities are obvious. These are:

樂 : This character depicts a wooden string instrument with the 木 at the base being for tree and the 幺 at either side being thread. 白 means white and maybe I'll come back to that but anyway, it has meanings for music, laughter and happiness.

I'm sure it can be seen the connection between eight's connection to happiness and joy and then to the character 樂. The Eighth sibling being depicted with specifically a wooden string instrument possibly in that image confounding this.

Now what about 藥 and why do the two of them look so similar?

藥: This character means drug, cure, medicine etc. The addition to the character means 'herbs'. Now I don't know enough to say for certain why music makes up such a large part of the character for medicine. From what I can gleam it's believed in Chinese medicine that negative emotions can cause illness and so music and by extension happy and positive emotions as the they are linked are capable of healing. I'm also aware that as in China there are five elements and five organs there are also five sounds corresponding to them and,

as I said I don't know too much. I just think that it's possible this is why the Eighth Sibling might be the healing brother because of these elements.

I don't have anything for the 10th sibling besides that they're the only sibling whose horns are outright visible in that image, which I'd post if not for the image cap. But to go for my thoughts on the Siblings:

Chongyue

Wang

Ling

Law Sister

Jie

Shu

Ji

Healing Brother - Musician

Nian

Unknown

Dusk

Chef Brother

Weiqi

So here's something that has been picked up for the Sui siblings and that's the fact that each Sui appear to have either a large amount of 'white' or 'black' on their design and we're getting a Sui sibling with one of colour after the other colour.

Nian (White) > Dusk (Black) > Ling (White) > Chongyue (Black) > Shu (White)

It seems to be playing into the Lunar New Year event's theme around Weiqi and possibly Arknight's recurring theme of Chess, with the turns of the board akin to how Wang, our primary antagonist, is seeing his war against Yan.

Speaking of, it's interesting to me the sprites of both Ji and Wang because they were introduced in that order and according to their sprites Ji is (black) while Wang is (White) and we'll come back to that because going off of the order so far which even Ji and Wang's appearances play into and assuming all 12 fit into this theme then after Shu we'll be looking at:

Black > White > Black > White > Black > White > Black

Meaning that: 4th Sibling, Jie, 8th Sibling, 10th and the Chef Brother could be placed into this order and were we to get every Sui sibling, that we could use this to predict them, right?

So for example, the second to last slot is a white and Wang is a white Sui. Ji being black could either be the next Sui, three, five or seven down the line.

Also I mentioned that character for wooden instruments had the character for white and I'm connecting it to the Eighth and healing Brother so with these all in mind maybe the brothers are looking like:

Ji? > Eighth? > Ji? > Eighth? > Ji? > Wang? > Ji?

Except maybe you notice something odd about this, which is that black is the last one? But Wang is white? How does it make sense for Ji to come after Wang? Well that's what's interesting about it because the odds are that the final one is probably instead Jie who currently lacks a colour but here's another thing to think about:

In Weiqi the colour who makes the first move is in actuality Black. Now the first ones to make the move in the story you could argue are either Wang, as the one who set the events in motion or Nian, as the one who introduced us to this storyline. But that similarly doesn't make sense...

Unless you consider Jie's death as the catalyst for either Wang or Nian to move in response. Which is an interesting way to look at someone's death as a strategic move on a Weiqi board...

I still think it's possible for Jie to have planned her death in some capacity with the thought in mind that Wang was going to do what he is. Here's where I say Jie is really interesting and I find the numerology behind five being 'me' as so interesting. 'My life' 'My death' 'My prosperity'. Whether it's her story or what meaning is given to her in her death it's fascinating to me. Anyway.

I think it'd be weird if Ji after joining Wang is immediately the immediate event's Limited so let's say:

Black > White > Ji? > White > Ji? > Wang > Jie

Then

Black > Eighth? > Ji? > Eighth? > Ji? > Wang > Jie

Can we narrow this down any further? I'm unsure. My bets would either be on the 4th Sibling or the Chef Brother but I've talked enough.

Before we go though, please look at the 4th sibling, the 2nd sister:

I want her playable yesterday.

Those were my thoughts.

[thelunarfairy]

(Apologizes if an incomplete ask sent through, I was asking a question but the Internet cut off :<)

My question was though, how much can you analyze about the English lyrics of No. 7 (anime intro)? The lyrics supposedly explain some of the story and you're the best theorist I know who can put this in an organized post XD

(Sorry if you've been asked this before haha feel free to ignore if so and have a great day!)

I looked at the Japanese and English versions, and well, to better organize the meaning of the song, I'm going to write it here in a more objective way, it will be easy to understand the meaning as you read the lyrics.

This is because the Japanese version has a lot of wordplay and puns, the English version translated it literally and in the same way as the Japanese, which made some passages confusing.

Let's get started (this is the full version of the song)

So now let me tell you the story of number 7

1 Huh? Eh? Instantly happy and sad, even the past and the future 2 Two shadows appear within the rumors (the passion turned into nothing, it's just a story) 3 A sweet fruit mixed with the unreal 4 Yes, yes, even if I tell you repeatedly 5 Look, look, you're not listening properly (passion turned into nothing, an endless story) 6 After all, the boring thing is the ugly reality 7 Morning, day and night, like ten winds and five rains, rumors circulate 8 Without becoming pure in heart, turning my back against the unchanging mirror 9 I Want Some Magic, Say Seven Mysteries, That's Not Perfect 10 But We Are Struggling Because We Are Incomplete

11 Swinging the blade, words, too far 12 Wearing the smiling mask of lies (you in that place) 13 They Were Hurt Because Of Someone Else 14 Between sin and punishment, in that place where no one exists 15 Surely He Is There So now let me tell you the story of number 7

A secret history I heard from somewhere

16 It's a secret just between you and me 17 I will not lose to you, memory nor the brittle truth 18 Let's catch up, it's a reality like a rumor from some time ago 19 Every night and morning seems stupid 20 The dance of the second, the third morning, the fourth twilight 21 First, second, third, fourth 22 Mirai, Misaki, the mirror that doesn't see, the silent solitude 23 Is it the first? the eighth? Wait, there's no eighth 24 Until the four o'clock stands, if you repent, 25 It becomes four pains, eight pains 26 Trouble Towing in Seven Rounds 27 Hits, punishment 28 Come, come strange mystery 29 My body's habits, everything, are never perfect, so We are struggling because we are incomplete

Swinging the blade, words, far away 30 Please reach out, the laughter, the overlapping lies 31 (he is still there continuously) 32 I blurred the details while pretending to be fine 33 Between sin and punishment 34 Alone, placed in that place 35 Surely he exists

36 Hiding the past, blinding the eyes in front of the destiny that is coming to an end 37 I changed once, so I will change again The answer is clear

Swinging the blade, words, far away Wearing the smiling mask of lies (You alone) Were hurt because of someone else Between sin and punishment In that place where no one exists Today it also exists

So now let me tell you the story of number 7 Hey tell me about the continued story

ANALYSIS

Let's use numbers to better analyze the excerpts

1 = could mean that Hanako is happy now to be having fun with Nene and Kou, but at the same time sad about having to deal with the past and the future (Nene's future death)

2 = This excerpt is very emblematic, but "within the rumors two shadows appear" could refer to the twins "the passion turned into nothing, it's just a story" they would be in love with each other and what remained of that story would be murder. There is also the possibility that he is referring to Nene, since Hanako-san now has an assistant. Two shadows, and the passion that turned into nothing, an impossible love.

3 = A metaphor about the contrast between reality and a distant desire

4 and 5 = Hanako's story is being told little by little and someone (it could be Nene) is not realizing the details between the lines.

6 to 10 = Complaints about how reality is terrible and he wants to experience something unreal, not just him, but the other mysteries, everyone feels incomplete and is looking for something that reality cannot offer, something that they cannot achieve but they really want it. And specifically about the mirror, he says it is unchanging, confirming that no matter what he does, nothing will change.

11 to 15 = reference to Tsukasa's death, the murder. About how Hanako lied while creating a fake smile. He hurt Tsukasa, and he went to the place where nothing exists "Surely he is there" and the verses mention the sin and punishment that Hanako has to take responsibility for.

16 to 18 = Probably Hanako talking about his past with Nene. He says he will "reach him" that is, he will tell her the whole truth.

19 to 29 = references the other mysteries and how they are all fighting to create a better version of themselves, even though they are imperfect. In addition to, of course, mentioning a little about their feelings.

30 to 35 = reference to Tsukasa, he wants Hanako to show what he really feels, at the same time that Tsukasa "blurs" the way he feels "I blurred the details while pretending to be fine" "Alone, placed in that place" "he is still there continuously" reference that Tsukasa was left on Hanako's boundary and hides that he feels sad about it.

36 and 37 = it's a little difficult to know if the speaker is Hanako or Tsukasa, the excerpts fit for both, but it's probably more linked to Hanako, since he's the one hiding the past.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

Place where nothing exists = boundary, Hanako says that when he enters a boundary, the person ceases to exist in the human world while there.

Swinging the blade = stabbing, direct reference to murder.

In that place where no one exists, he is certainly there = clear reference that Hanako believed that Tsukasa was on the boundary

In that place where no one exists, today he also exists = reference to Tsukasa's return.

Hey tell me about the continued story = about the story we are following now

CONCLUSION

Basically it's Hanako talking about himself, about the mysteries and about Tsukasa. We also see many parts where he talks about how he feels, but in short, that's it.

The lyrics of this song change subtly according to the translation you are looking for, but the general meaning is this.

That's the way I interpreted the opening lyrics, other people may have different ways of seeing how they work, but for me that's it.

[murderbot]

🇵🇸 🛑pleas don't scroll ‼️Hi, I hope you are well. My name is Mohammed Atallah, I live with my parents, six sisters, a little girl named Malak and a little boy named Ameer in North Gaza. I created this link to fund a bone graft in my left hand which was shot by an explosive bullet, to rebuild our destroyed home and to evacuate my family from Gaza to a safe place.And donate any amount to safe life .. I will appreciate your help❤️ Can you please help as much as you can . Press all buttons on my wall , I beg you to visit my page, view it, and donate via the link in the bio💔Donate and share widely 🆘🆘 Every euros will make a difference 🙏I urge you to donate. Even the smallest amount can make the biggest difference. Not only he needs to evacuate with his family, but he is in dire need for surgery! The IDF has shot his arm with an explosive bullet. Not a regular one. AN EXPLOSIVE ONE. So he needs to get it treated right away! Otherwise, he will get an infection and it may lead to amputation. WE DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, DO WE DO?So contribute! Make sure to reblog and share his story if you are unable to do so.Help my family. War is devastating. There is nothing left to live. No schools, no universities, no home, and no dreams. All dreams have been shattered. I hope for help before it is too late Please share on Twitter and tumbler and Instagram The campaign has been documented @90-ghost 🍉

hello mohammed, i'm afraid i am still currently unable to donate again but i hope sharing and reblogging your story will help

reblogged by 90-ghost

since i last boosted this campaign 4 days ago, they've managed to gain €1100 and hit their first 10k - this is wonderful, but let's remember to keep working hard as this family still has a lot to go to hit their goal. this is only one eighth of the way to it

€10,228 / €82,000 goal

[mamadoc]

1, 2, 11, 20😊

1 - Talk about someone who changed your life.

Okay. I took far too long to think about this. Since we're all in a post 6x6 and TTPD era, here's a vulnerable, tortured answer.

I had a very close friend for several years. My husband and I were very close to her and her husband. Our kids were friends. We went to the same church, all loved to travel, had similar interests and tastes, had all lived internationally, went on double dates, etc. We even considered having them raise our kids if my husband and I both passed away. In sum, we were super close.

Then COVID hit. As a doctor COVID was difficult. I struggled a lot because I was taking care of sick patients. I recall one tearful day of talking to a pregnant mom who was about to be transferred to the ICU and was saying goodbye to her other children. It really wasn't safe or comfortable to go to work for a long time. I wasn't really dealing with it well, especially with the people around me treating it like it didn't matter. I was really depressed for the first time in my life.

This friend didn't understand that or if she did, she didn't care. So, when I said I wasn't interested in going out in public and having any type of birthday celebration for my birthday (who wants to celebrate turning 41 anyway?), she started attacking me on a personal level. I was already in a dark place and instead of being a good friend and supporting me, she just keep sending me hateful messages.

That was the first and only time in my life I considered suicide. I reached out for help and got it. I wasn't in that dark pit for a long time. I'm much better now. I mostly have my sister to thank for that.

I brought her flowers for Valentine's Day with an apology note a few weeks after that. She never apologized. I brought treats to her a few weeks after that with an apology note explaining why I felt so hurt. I tried to call to explain how I felt so that I could heal. She never answered the phone.

I'm still not sure what I have to apologize for or why she never seemed to accept or offer an apology. But that was two years ago. We still don't talk. Our husbands don't talk. Our kids don't play together anymore. For a long time, I didn't like going to church because I knew I'd have to see her.

Most of that is better now. I'm just sad for a lost friendship and for the dark place I had to crawl out of.

I've used a slight modification of her name for a character in one of my stories who betrayed Lucy. I thought that might be therapeutic, but it just brought the situation up to the surface again.

Uhhh... I can't believe I just wrote all of that. I'll try to keep the rest of the answers a bit lighter.

2 - Talk about something you really want to do.

I LOVE to travel. I've been to 47 states and 16 countries. My husband and I had all of our plans in place to get to all 50 states before we turned 40. Then COVID hit and all of our plans were dashed when travel shut down. We're going at a slower pace now, but we're getting close to it. #48 (NM) in October, #49 (HI) July 2025 as a 20th anniversary trip, and #50 (AK) the summer of 2026.

11 - Share something you're proud of.

According to AO3's stats, I've posted over 339k words since I started posting 7 months ago (plus another 9-10k chapter I hope to finish tonight). I know there are those that blow me out of the water (Ahem, ahem @girlintotv and @centralperkchenford) with their numbers, but I'm pretty proud of that as a first-time writer and working mom with 4 young kids.

20 - Share with us a random fact or two.

I'm afraid I've already overshared. *yikes* But here we go.

I'm the oldest of 6 kids. The first 4 of us are all 23 months apart, then 27 months apart, and 25 months apart. So, we're essentially every 2 years for 10 years with all of our birthdays clustered together. 3 boys and 3 girls.

I had the chicken pox for my eighth birthday. My grandparents came to visit for my birthday, but they were afraid of getting shingles. So, I had to stay in my bedroom on the second floor, and they stayed on the first floor for the whole time they were visiting. I still remember standing in the hallway near the dining room while they sang happy birthday. One of my siblings blew out the candles for me and my mom brought me a piece of cake in the hallway. (Man, I'm still rocking those depressing TTPD vibes, aren't I?) I was officially not contagious the day my mom came home from the hospital with baby #5 in our family, and I remember being so excited to be healthy enough to hold my baby brother.

Sheesh. Now you probably won't ever ask me anything again. Between TTPD, 6x6, and the angst I'm supposed to be writing right now, I'm coming up with some strange answers.

Sorry to be the Eeyore in the crowd. Thanks for asking me to play though.

Ask game

[irradiatedbearchewtoy]

this is written with the intention of being accessible to people who have only watched post-2005 doctor who but who knows how that will go

i want to talk about a really cool controversial-but-not-in-the-way-where-people-are-arguing-about-if-bigotry-is-acceptable-way classic doctor who serial. if you sit until the end, you get to see a selection of alien designs from other 60s serials

if you're familiar with this story, happy humming! if you're not, hopefully you will know exactly what i mean by that very soon.

if you haven't seen classic who—or at least 60s who—before, this may not be the best serial to convince you of how exciting it is, but i'm running on no sleep, a newly released episode, caffeine, and audhd so i'm at least going to try. my apologies for the stream on consciousness; i have tried to make myself somewhat coherent...

the serial in question is the 1966 pure historical 4-parter 'the gunfighters'. pure historical here meaning set in the past with no science fiction elements.

these were standard in the first few years of the show but stopped after 'the highlanders' in late '66/early '67. there was one after that—'black orchid', in '82—but the time period was less relevant and it wasn't to do with any notable historical events or figures.

the first doctor, steven, and dodo land in tombstone, arizona because the doctor has a toothache after eating a sweet in the previous serial, 'the celestial toymaker'—a serial a lot more revival-only fans are now somewhat aware of since the toymaker's appearance in the 60th anniversary special 'the giggle'—and wants to see a dentist. steven and dodo put on awful american accents the whole time. they get caught up with doc holliday (who ends up pulling the doctor's tooth) and wyatt earp, among others.

a song called 'the ballad of the last chance saloon' plays over (almost?) every transition shot. i love it, but not everyone does; people have very strong opinions about that song. if you don't like it, this serial is a lot to swallow, as it plays over 30 times in less than 2 hours. steven is forced to sing this song at gunpoint while dodo plays the piano. i wanted to just insert a still of that but i think some of you who wont watch the serial or search out clips need to see it.

speaking of the gunpoint thing, there's a good chunk of violence in this one. people get shot with actual non-laser guns and someone almost gets hanged, noose around the neck and all. this isn't abnormal for 60s who. before colour came into the picture, the doctor used to whack people around all the time. a personal favourite of mine is in 'the highlanders' when the second doctor beats up a lawyer, gags him, and locks him in a closet. even in the very first serial, 'an unearthly child', a guy is stoned to death on-screen.

'the ballad of the last chance saloon' has been released officially, most widely when it was released on streaming platforms in 2013 as part of a 50th anniversary album. that version was pulled from streaming a while ago, leaving a very sad gap in many of my playlists. even before removal, that version was cut down from the full 10:34 to 3:51!! which is probably a good thing, because that track can be a powerful weapon against the right target. here is the full version, for your listening pleasure.

on top of it just being a fun story that sticks in people's minds because of the music, there are some cool notable production/show lore moments linked to the serial. yes, you can find these all on tardis wiki, shh

doc holliday's actor, anthony jacobs, brought his 10-year-old son to set, as a treat for his birthday (the birthday detail is mentioned in this ABC radio interview from 2022). that son was named matthew jacobs and went on to write the 1996 tv film starring paul mcgann as the eighth doctor.

it was the only (on-screen) story to take place fully in the united states of america until... the tv film!

it marked the last serial for every episode to have its own name. after this, episodes are simply numbered. there are some exceptions later on in the show, but this was the end of the standard practice.

it hosts the only episode title in classic, 'a holiday for the Doctor', to refer to the character of the Doctor as such instead of Doctor Who

was this a big pile of nothing? maybe? but here are your 60s alien photos, as promised. all photos are from the tragical history tour collection! x x

finally, this is an open invitation to reblog adding as much as you wish about the gunfighters or any other classic/wilderness stories that you want to talk about. my only request is that you make it an unhinged as possible. ik that's tall talk considered this post and episode aren't notably unhinged but just go with it, okay?

i kind of want to do a bunch of these just rambling about classic stories to try and get people to actually watch it but i'm not committing to that so. we'll see.

[jtargaryen18]

Why Your Vote Matters (aka Where I've Been Lately)

Hi there. I'm back today. We got back Thursday but I needed to recover for a day before I tried to get back to something like my normal life. Needless to say, I missed you all. 💕

So, before I launch into this story, two things. First, my family and I are all okay. Second, yeah, I'm going to get a little political here and I try to keep such to a minimum. But I wouldn't do this without a compelling reason.

Trigger warnings for miscarriage, stillbirth, pregnancy, illness, and reproductive health care.

Not far into October, a friend of mine from college invited us out to visit her in California. Like me, she has two little girls. She and I haven't seen each other since we started families so it has been a little while. We got back in touch a few months ago on social media and often talked about how we needed to get together. My Chemical Romance, our favorite band, was playing out there and she got us tickets.

My husband stayed home but I took the girls, yes I made them do school each day lol, and we went out to stay with my friend and her family. Her girls are lovely, her husband is a really great guy.

I should probably mention that she was expecting her third child, a boy. Her due date was right after Thanksgiving. She was just starting her eighth month when we got there. She looked amazing and everything was going well. She suffered a miscarriage last year, she explained, and with this pregnancy, she was terrified of that happening again. She didn't even tell her friends she was expecting until it became obvious.

This pregnancy wasn't planned. But she wanted 3 or 4 children and when they found out everything was going well and it was a boy, they were thrilled. They had a room set up, all his things ready. Their girls, who are a little younger than mine, are small but they were excited. All four girls were like long-lost sisters from the start. It was fun to watch them.

The night of the concert came. My friend didn't want to take a risk in going. Understandable. I went with a friend of hers named Brie (also an MCR fan) and she watched my girls. It was a really good night.

The day before we originally planned to leave, I got my girls going on school (we homeschool). Her girls had gone to school and her husband went to work. She seemed worried. When I asked what was wrong, she said the baby was still and that concerned her. We talked about it and I finally convinced her to call her doctor's office to get her in that day. She was worried about overreacting. I told her that her peace of mind was important too.

The rest of that day was a nightmare. The ultrasound revealed that her son had died. What happened was incredibly rare. Even if they had been doing an ultrasound the exact moment when things went wrong, there was little chance they could have saved him. Her husband raced to the hospital. I went with my girls to get theirs from school and took them home. Her labor was induced and after 11 hours, she gave birth to her son. And he was a little smaller but perfect in every way. His heart just wasn't beating.

I stayed on to help with the girls. My friend's parents are gone and her mother-in-law lives in New Zealand so she couldn't get there right away. I was glad to help. I've experienced some things at the shelter but this was so much more personal. The loss was intense. Her girls aren't 5 yet. How to explain to them (and mine) what happened. It was hard to watch this couple go through loss and grief and have to face every aspect of that. There was a funeral. There was that happy room in bright yellow waiting for a child that wasn't coming.

The funeral was the Friday before Halloween. I took all our girls to a Halloween trail in their town that weekend. I helped where I could. I decided we'd stay on a few days until her MIL could get there.

But my friend had a fever almost as soon as she got home from the hospital. She didn't look well. Yes, she'd been through hell. But one morning, I was making breakfast for the kids and she came into the kitchen. There was a sick smell coming from her. And I had to tell her that. I asked her if I could check her temperature. It was high. She didn't want to go, but I loaded her and the kids into the car (her husband had gone in to work for just a couple of hours) and took her to the ER. There was something left in her womb. They put her under to clear out this debris (they said it wasn't placenta) which had caused sepsis. It was serious. She was back in the hospital and we almost lost her.

Her husband and I took shifts with one of us staying with her, and the other staying with our kids until we knew she'd make it. I thanked the nurse when we brought her home three days ago for all her help. She told me that she was just grateful my friend was in California.

Her MIL got there Wednesday and we came home. But that nurse's words stayed with me. If my friend lived somewhere else, would she be dead? Would she have been denied the care she needed to save her life after the devastating loss of her son? Would her son's loss be blamed on her? Would she have been arrested? What would happen to that family either way? Either that husband and two little girls lose a wife and mother or legal issues would haunt their lives on the heels of one of the worst things that can happen to a mother.

Tuesday the 8th is election day here in the U.S. And I'm just asking as a mother, for my friend, and our daughters, that you think carefully when you vote. While I understand the ideology of those who say they want to protect the unborn, I get that, there are so many other situations where access to medical care is vital to the life of the mother. Access to reproductive care is vital to families with kids already here, and to the economy.

What happened to my friend can happen to any of us. And this is a woman who wanted her son. She loved him with all her heart. I can't even bring myself to think about what might have happened to them if they lived in a place where reproductive health care is denied or where a bounty could have been placed on her head so someone could get $10k by saying she deliberately caused that loss.

Please vote to protect women and their rights to their own bodies. Please vote to save the lives of mothers, to save families.

Thank you so much for letting me share this with you.

[fuck-customers]

a fuck my manager/coworkers rant:

store manager got a new girlfriend back in October and since then work has been his second priority (EVEN DURING THE HOLIDAYS). Which is understandable in some regards but him and his ex literally broke up over him wanting to prioritize work. So often he goes off on two hour lunch dates with his GF we can see (at the shitty brunch place across the parking lot) when he said he was just going to go run the deposit to the bank. And he doesn't fucking COMMUNICATE anymore. One of my coworkers was given 5 days to completely rearrange a section of the store that was due last month but no one knew bc he never TOLD anyone and now he wants it done before Inventory is due. This entire month our rewards program is doing a special double points when purchasing a certain brand. I didn't find out until TODAY (the 20th) when I saw it on the TV image slide thing. The assistant manager didn't know until the Eighth.

He ignored and denied phone calls from our shift lead when on Valentine's Day when a customer was screaming at her, SM claimed that his sister was in labor and he was with her (dude you can step out of the room for five minutes) but we ALL know he was at V-day dinner with his GF (it was 5pm.)

He's on salary and should be working 40 hours and is technically on the clock all the time but he ignores people's text messages and shows up to work 15-30 minutes late every day and tries to leave early. He randomly goes out of town and only tells people last minute. There's no way he's making his 40 hours and NO ONE can do anything about it. He's been reported to our district manager several times and when she comes over to talk to him about it they just spend an hour in the back room giggling together because she doesn't care and loves him! All that matters is the store is doing well numbers wise.

... well it's not Anymore. because he's been so out of WACK that no one wants to put in effort working anymore. Bye bye 4.15 UPT and 40 DPT goal. have fun with the average 2.5 UPT. We've been consistently missing our sales goal. Oh well. Sorry buddy.

My biggest irritant though is that we are a pet store and like I don't care if my coworkers wanna slack on sales, but when they slack on caring for our animals is where I lose my mind and I'm sick and tired of having to pick up everyone's slack in that regard bc the management doesn't care either, they won't check over how animal care got done and so I have to be the one to make sure our animals aren't literally standing in soiled bedding 24/7.

I hate it here. In May it will be two years and I'm making minimum wage still, because every time the MW goes up, I lose any raise I had received. I should be making more than the hire we got two months ago but I don't. It makes me want to tear my hair out. I want to strangle our DM because she is the only thing keeping me from getting promoted, she wants me to have a car but company policy says 3/4 managers need a car. Everyone else does!! I would literally be lowest position anyways, I'm just there to pick up management slack I'm not there for big issues.

hate it here.

@staff I HATE the new text editor!

[chickenstrangers]

#5QLS tag

tagged by @waitmyturtles 🥰

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL shows that you actually listen to. 🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. Tilly Birds - เพื่อนเล่นไม่เล่นเพื่อน (Just Being Friendly) - My School President, Cutie Pie, Cupid's Last Wish

This is the song that started me on Thai music and I'm so happy for it. It's still probably my favorite song on this list. I love the original version, the MSP cover, NuNew's singing, but I especially love evil!Tilly Birds in Cupid's Last Wish when its the prelude to them getting lost.

2. NuNew and/or Zee - ใจรัก (LOVE) - Cutie Pie

Zee and NuNew both have amazing covers of this song (Zee's version) and with Just Being Friendly, this was I think the second song on my playlist. The actual scene in the show is one of the most excruciating scenes that I could barely sit through from second-hand embarrassment, and then Kuea sings it the next episode which is honestly kind of rubbing salt in the wound. But the song itself I love.

3. Dark Blue Kiss Opening Theme

I couldn't find a normal version of it without linking an episode, but this is genuinely my favorite opening sequence to a show, and it is one of the only ones that I will watch every time, even if I accidentally come upon it when trying to find a specific scene. Okay, I may be more obsessed with the video than the song itself, but the song definitely sets the tone. This opening is a roller coaster, starts dramatic, gets super cheesy, makes me laugh, but every time Kao comes on screen and a single tear rolls down his cheek I am instantly on the verge of tears.

4. Mix and Earth - ไม่ไกลหัวใจ (Closer) - Cupid's Last Wish

Though DBK has the best intro video, this is probably my favorite opening song to a show. Gets you in the mood for a fun lighthearted road trip to reverse a body swap. Honorary mention to their ATOTS Our Sky 2 song which I could not stop listening to and watching when it came out. I think the lyrics really capture the theme of the special. Yes I am putting 2 songs on this list spot.

5. ฟัง – SIN feat.โอม Cocktail - My School President

There's a lot of songs from MSP that could be on the list, but other than Just Being Friendly (which I am counting as a general BL song given how often it shows up) this is probably my most listened to song on the soundtrack.

6. Phai Phongsathon - คนบ้านเดียวกัน - Laws of Attraction

I was really trying to stick to 5ish main songs but then I remembered @recentadultburnout post about this song which appeared last episode and I have been listening to it a lot since then!

I have mostly kept to songs I haven't seen other people mention in their posts, so here's a quick list of my favorite songs that have already been discussed but that I second (not comprehensive):

Gunsmile - Pass (from Love Sick)

Wetter - Who (from The Eighth Sense)

Tilly Birds - I'm Not Boring, You're Just Bored (from Only Friends)

Anonymouz - 夜行性 (from Jack O' Frost)

Ayumu Imazu - Sunshower (from Eternal Yesterday)

CITI - Today (from You Make Me Dance)

And lastly, two of my favorite songs that barely fit because I don't think they were in any shows, but they were covered at the MSP concert, so I am counting them:

sorry for adding a million songs but hey why not talk about more music this is my post. tagging (if you want, no pressure, feel free to ignore) @recentadultburnout @distant-screaming (I love both your recs; I listened to MILLI for a week straight after a soundwin post haha) @ranchthoughts @dudeyuri @shannankle @miscellar @kattahj and anyone else who wants to share!