#I have done everything I possibly can online though so I’m hoping that will? help?

[lesbiansanemi]

Fighting for my fucking life trying to figure out airport parking rn the website is so confusing about where I can park and what the rates are and whether I can reserve it/pay or not ahead of time

[anothermansjeans]

not sure if you’re taking requests but i would love to see a part two to the singer!reader, like maybe the team all goes to her concert together! thank you!

HI!! i'm so glad the people loved the first singer!reader blurb!! this is a part 2 to the first one, and while the whole team isn't at her concert, i added penelope in!! i have plans for when the team first meets reader which will be in a separate blurb! hope you enjoy :)

cw: spencer and penelope at reader's concert :) a swear word (1), spencer is flustered

wc: 2k (i may have over done it)

singer!reader masterlist

++

Spencer sat in the cold police precinct in Philadelphia with JJ, Rossi, and Penelope (she was a vital resource, needing to come with the team on this case), counting down the minutes until Hotch, Derek, Emily, and a few Philly officers came back with the unsub in custody. As soon as they got back and the case was deemed closed, he could go and see you.

Obviously, he went to your concert last night, had you stay over, and slept in as much as possible before you had to leave for your next stop on tour and Spencer had to get to the office. The reason he was so hellbent on seeing you tonight as well is because when you're touring and he does his regular BAU job, the two of you barely see each other. Your tour kicked off three months ago, starting in Europe, and he didn't get to visit any of those shows, so when the U.S leg came around, he wanted to be as present as possible.

That too, was very hard.

Spencer loves his job, really, he does, but when he plans on using the allotted resting days the team gets after a case to visit you, and ends up getting called in anyway… he has grown some resentment over the time. So now– here in Philadelphia, where you are– he plans on missing out on the trip back with the team and instead, watch your show again. The only other thing in the back of his mind right now were the words of your last text to him.

Y/N: OH MY GOD OKAY!! i’m so happy you can make it, spence 🫶

Y/N: omg PLEASE invite that friend of yours too!! i'm so sorry she couldn't get tickets for d.c :(

When Spencer initially told you about Penelope and how she ousted your relationship just from a video online, you completely lost it. In a “oh my God, I'm going to piss my pants, I’m laughing so hard” kind of way. Your exact words to him when he was on the phone with you as he sat in his hotel room. You didn't have a problem with his friends and family knowing. You actually encouraged him to let his closest people in, but he valued you and how you wanted to keep him out of the public eye as much as possible, so he simply didn't say anything to anyone. The respect you have for each other is insanely beautiful.

So he felt as though he was between a rock and a hard place. He wanted to let the team in. They're his family, but once he lets them in– once he invites Penelope to this free concert offered by his girlfriend, he was losing an extra security blanket in keeping your wishes. He knew your wishes were solely there to benefit him and his job and her personal life, but it was still something that worried you to the point of breaking down every once in a while, and he would do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen again.

When those who went out to obtain the unsub came back, Spencer stood up, knowing once they got the confession they were done, and went to idly walk by the desk Penelope was sitting at.

“Yes, Mr. Into You. how can I help you?” She smirked at her words, causing Spencer to roll his eyes.

“You don't know that song is about me.” Her deadpan expression caused Spencer to sigh, “okay, fine. Anyway, I was wondering if you had plans for tonight. Like, after the case.”

Placing her hand on her chest, she batted her eyelashes. “Well, sweets, I'm flattered, but I don't think your girlfriend would be too happy.”

“Penelope.”

“Sorry!”

Wringing his fingers together, Spencer bit the inside of his cheek. “Y/N has a concert here in Philadelphia–”

“I’m well aware.”

“And she told me to invite you along tonight. She’s sorry you couldn't get tickets to D.C.”

A gasp left her lips and she stood to her feet quickly, “oh my lanta!” The volume of her voice caused chatter to quiet around them, and she sheepishly smiled at everyone, “sorry! But oh my– Spencer, are you joking? Because if you are, this is cruel and unusual punishment, Dr. FBI man.”

“It’s not a joke, Pen.”

“Eek!” She threw her arms around his neck without thinking, and Spencer, while he hesitated at first, eventually welcomed the hug. “Thank you so much!”

“You can thank her when you meet her.”

“Meet her–? I– oh…” Her eyes went wide with excitement, “I am so excited!”

And so was he. He didn't show it until the two of them got there though. You were very busy getting ready before the show, so when your manager met him and Penelope in the back of the venue, he insisted that the two of them went straight to your friends and family section and that he could see you afterwards. The excitement in his eyes became very apparent the moment the opening chords to your song Positions. Penelope was singing and dancing, while Spencer did his signature head bop– that's how you knew you made a good song.

it was about halfway through the set when you got to Nonsense, a song everyone looked forward to. You did a different outro every stop of the tour. Yesterday’s outro was a very colorful depiction of him and his… skills in the bedroom because you knew he was going to be there. There was no way he’d be embarrassed again.

“This song’s catchier than chicken pox is

I bet your house is where my other sock is

Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop it

How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?

There's a lot to do out here in philly

My man came here so he can come and feel me

His body keeps me warm, I'm never chilly.”

You laughed as you looked over to the family and friends section, and immediately recognized the face you love becoming tinted with red by the minute. A couple songs later, you performed one of your newest songs, Vigilante Shit. You were the most excited for this portion of your set when you added it after it first released. You were on break after the Europe leg and couldn't stop going over all of the choreography, Spencer being the very first person not on your team to watch, and he thought it was incredible (even if it was with a kitchen chair in his living room).

When performing, you always put on your best show, but sometimes, if Spencer’s in the audience, you amp it up a bit. Which is what you did now. One of the moves involved having a leg propped up on the chair and slinking your hand down your body. When Spencer was there, you went extra hard with the facial expressions, giving it more sexuality. You also made sure to roll your body and stick your ass out a bit more whenever you stood up from the chair, making sure you're giving him a good view. It’s what your boyfriend deserved.

And while you always thought you were doing good by him (because he would never tell you otherwise), he was always as red as a tomato– especially now with Penelope next to him, moving her phone camera between you and him, capturing the dance and his reaction. He felt his warm cheeks begin to cool when you moved onto your next song, but that flush inevitably came back the moment you picked up your guitar for the acoustic set and shifted your eyes towards him.

“We are now moving onto the acoustic set!” The crowd went wild, as always, and you continued, “tonight is actually a little different… I’ll still sing ‘Picture You’ and ‘Dress’, but I wanted to add a new one.” You began strumming your guitar gently, “It’s not released yet, but I have someone here I want to dedicate it to… this one’s about you, you know who you are. I love you.”

“Oh my God!” Penelope once again whipped out her phone, but all Spencer could do was stare at your trembling hands as you continued to strum.

“Oh, no, did I get too close?

Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?

All your insecurities

All the dirty laundry

Never made me blink one time”

He held his breath as you continued to sing.

“Unconditional, unconditionally

I will love you unconditionally

There is no fear now

Let go and just be free

I will love you unconditionally”

And he released the air from his lungs.

“Come just as you are to me

Don't need apologies

Know that you are worthy

“I’ll take your bad days with your good

Walk through the storm, I would

I do it all because I love you

I love you”

And as you continued with the song, Spencer felt tears well up in his eyes. Of course, he didn't let any of them fall, slyly wiping them as Penelope was putting her phone back away.

You had about 2 songs left when Spencer spotted one of your security guys discreetly getting his attention so that he could go backstage. He tapped Penelope on the shoulder, and tilted his head towards the guy. “We’re gonna watch the rest of the show backstage if that's okay?”

Mouth opening and shutting, she nodded her head, following the two men in front of her. Spencer could tell Pen felt out of her element back there with the rest of the crew, especially knowing that in about thirty seconds now, you were going to be saying your goodbyes and head off stage.

“Thank you so much, Philadelphia! I had a wonderful time. Thank you to my band, and my dancers. The amazing audio techs and the entire crew that keeps this show running! Have a great night!”

Running towards them, you gave Spencer a big smile before leaping into his arms to give him a hug. “Hi. You were incredible,” you felt him mutter against your neck.

“Hi. Thank you,” you muttered back, only staying in his arms a second longer so that you could greet the other guest. “Hi, I’m Y/N!”

“H-Hi! I’m Penelope!” Not knowing what to do, she stuck out her hand, but you brushed it aside, opting for a hug instead.

“I’m more of a hugger.”

She laughed and gave you a nod as you released each other. “Me too.” She looked between you and Spencer for a moment with a wide grin. “You're even prettier in person. You're also incredible, and your music is amazing and I love everything about you.”

“You're too sweet,” you gave a pout when thinking of her words, “you're gorgeous as well! And I love this dress! Spencer has told me all about you and the rest of the team.”

The three of you continued to chat for a bit, and once you noticed the crew packing things up, you turned towards Penelope and gave her a smile. “Do you want to go out with us? We were just gonna grab dinner.”

“Oh, no! I have someone picking me up.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yes, boy genius, I’m sure. Derek stayed behind so that he could get me back to Quantico. Oh! You need to meet the rest of the team sometime.”

You immediately agreed, squeezing Spencer’s hand so he knows to introduce you to everyone else soon. “One hundred percent.”

“Anyway, I will let you two love birds go. Have a nice night, and I’ll see you at the office, Spencer!”

After getting security to show Penelope where to go to leave, Spencer turned back towards you and pulled you back into his arms. He has never felt so loved in his life, and thinking about you, and that song, and everything life has to offer him at the moment caused the unshed tears from before to finally fall.

“Spencer, are you okay?” You pulled back to see the tears, and cupped his face, “baby, why are you crying?”

“The song was beautiful.”

He didn't answer you explicitly, but from his words mixed with the reaction you knew what was going on. “Thank you… I love you so much,” you said, wiping his cheeks.

“Unconditionally?”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Of course silly.”

++

singer!reader taglist: @itsleilabxtch @wietske27 @taylorswiftilovecowboylikeme @marshatesthisreality @ladylincoln @delightfulmakerpiegiant (tagged some people based in interest! lmk if you want to be taken off the taglist!)

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

[rampantram]

(traductor bc i'm Bad in English)

I love how you draw and until recently I realized that your drawings are almost all traditional (🤯) I wanted to ask, what kind of light/Filters do you use to take your photos and make them look so clear?

(And if by some chance I got confused and you do everything digital, it's a wow for my little brain)

No worries! Thank you for taking the time to submit your question~

I’ve done primarily digital art in the past (it always started with pencil on paper, but I later traced over it in Photoshop or CSP) but all of my Cult of the Lamb art has been traditional with some digital edits.

You asking about this got me thinking on how to put together a full run-down of how I do my art, but since I’m away from home (my scanner, computer, etc.) I’ll just give a short(ish) answer for now:

- Starting off, I try to keep my lines as clean as possible, and a kneadable eraser really helps with this since you can pinch the ends to a point to clean up in smaller areas and rub it over your sketch lines without completely erasing them or leaving behind marks or residue (I definitely recommend the Faber-Castell brand because they’re the most pliable ones I’ve used, last a long time so long as you keep them clean, and are widely available in arts & crafts stores as well as online)

- Obviously adjust these to your preferences, but when taking pictures of art on my phone (what I’ve been doing the last week or so) I reduce the Saturation to 0 to make it completely grayscale, up the Brightness (brightening the white of the paper), as well as raise the Black Point (darkening the pencil lines) ((also these are how those settings are named for iPhone, so it might vary between devices))

- When working with digital art software, the Levels tool is going to be the version of the Brightness & Black Point adjustments mentioned for mobile pictures; definitely have the Preview option applied, if available, so you can see the changes you’re making before accepting them (of course you can always Undo said change if you don’t like it).

Overall, though, the more work you put in when working on paper, the less adjustments and edits you’ll have to do later, so don’t skip on cleaning up lines, stray dots, graphite scratches, etc.

Anyway, I’m gonna’ leave things there, but I hope this helps for now! Happy drawing~! ✏️✨

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts!!

I hope you’re doing well! Thank you for always sharing information about pretty much everything, along your thoughts. After every event I always look forward to reading your reviews/comments.

You’ve pretty much inspired me to learn Japanese (along with the girls)! I’m even studying abroad in Japan this fall!! My exact days are August 22 - December 22.

I wasn’t sure I would be able to go until quite late (my program sucks at communications info) so I’ve been busy dealing with preparing to go to Japan, that I haven’t applied or bought any tickets! (Pretty much panicking at this point since I don’t know when I’ll be back).

Unfortunately YK vol.#20 tour ends before I arrive which I’m so depressed about since I loved every setlist (especially with Hikaru now performing T_T) (hoping she has more performances). Thankfully there’s still Wakana’s Classics, but I’m trying to figure that out still.

I was wondering if you knew any upcoming performances where there’s a good chance I can buy tickets still (whether online or at door) or have any advice on what I should do? I know there’s the Highway Star Party event but I’m not really interested in that. I will have a japanese phone number, address, and residency card so hopefully even the trickier tickets don’t cause any problems.

Also is there anywhere you suggest I visit? Restaurants and food? I plan to do a deep search and visit places the girls have mentioned ^ ^, more specifically around Tokyo.

Anyways, sorry for the long post/ask. Thank you for everything you’ve done!!

Hello there!

Thank you for this lovely message! And wow! That sounds amazing! I hope you'll have a great time in Japan.

What a shame though that you won't make it in time for the last YKL Vol#20 performance with Hikaru as guest vocalist. As of right now, I don't think they are planning to add any more dates for Japan. They have been known to announce at least one or two additional performances for Tokyo in the past but this year, it looks like they will end the main portion of the tour this weekend in Saitama. However, there are four concerts scheduled for November in China, Thailand and Malaysia. Chances are high that Hikaru will be invited as guest vocalist for these. Keep an eye out for any updates on that! We don't have any details yet but if you get the chance to go on a short weekend trip, I'd definitely recommend you get yourself a ticket and check out one of those places.

Overseas Performances YKL Vol.#20 Tour The performances are scheduled for November 2024. YK and her team will be returning to Shanghai (China), and will be performing for the first time in Guangzhou (China), Bangkok (Thailand), and Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia).

It may be a bit too late for this but you should 100% try to get a ticket for Keiko's upcoming fan club event! Just a few days ago, they announced a second lottery round so there's still a chance to apply for tickets until August 4! I don't know if you are a member of Keiko's FC but you could technically still register and hopefully finish the procedure in time to take part in the ticket lottery. Please note though that you'll probably need help from someone in Japan when using Lawson Ticket.

『KEIKO fan meeting chocolate meating #4』 Date: September 7, 2024 (Sat) Venue: TIAT SKY HALL 1st (Day): Open 14:00 /Start 14:30 2nd (Evening): Open 17:30 / Start 18:00　

Aside from possibly joining the YKL Vol#20 Asia tour leg, Hikaru will also be holding her very own solo tour during the winter time. Again, we don't have any details yet but once further infos get announced, I recommend you get your hands on a couple of tickets for one or two of those concerts. The Toyama live in particular is something I'd aim for if you want to have the best possible experience. Also a great opportunity to explore Hikaru's hometown

Hikaru Solo Tour 2024/25 -2024- 24/11/30 (Sat) Toyama 24/12/07 (Sat) Aichi 24/12/14 (Sat) Miyagi 24/12/21 (Sat) Kyoto 25/02/11 (Tue) Tokyo

The FC ticket lotteries for Wakana Classics are already over but there will be other options available soon. Last year, ticket playguide lotteries for non-FC members took place in October (with a subsequent regular sale) so I expect the same to happen this year. Just be patient a little while longer. They will most likely launch a dedicated webpage on the BSFuji website with some more infos on the concert and where to get tickets.

『Wakana Classics 2024 (tbd)』 Date/Time: 2024/12/18; Start 18:30~ Venue: Hamarikyu Asahi Hall

As for food and restaurants, that's very difficult for me to answer because I typically try to visit places that the girls have recently been to (I guess it's more of a spontaneous thing?). I do my best to keep track of all the good spots but it's a struggle T_T I suck at everything that's related to locations. However, you can check out my MEDIA posts on Twitter to see pictures of some of the spots I've already visited. I usually add a little description to my tweets so you should be able to figure out which places I'm talking about.

Three very popular Kalafina pilgrimage places are definitely Tsurutontan Roppongi (from an old blog post), La Maison Kioi (from a SPICE interview) and Shinagawa Aquarium (from a FC Harmony feature). Here's a blog post where I talk about visiting all three of them. One day, I want to eat at all the gyoza restaurants that Wakana has recommended in her fan club magazines but that's actually not so easy since most of those places are tiny and require a reservation.

You should also try to make short day trips to Ishikiri-Sanmyaku and Oya History Museum (best done with a group of locals or fellow fans). Both are beautiful locations which were used for various music videos (Kalafina's "Hyakka Ryouran", Hikaru's "Alterna-ate-", Kalafina's "Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni wa", Wakana's "Butterfly Dream").

Sorry I can't provide a better list but hopefully, this will help at least a little bit.

[sailorsplatoon]

Here it is, the prologue for the dedfour fanfiction, which I only just now realized I never announced the title of.

Everyone, this is Watch the Sky With You. I am very excited to be posting this and I hope you all like it! If you missed my post on the schedule for this fic, you can check it out here.

Without further ado, let's get into the fic!!!

Next

Read it on ao3!

(Fanfic under cut)

Agent 4 loaded into the Memverse for another test run. Marina wanted to make sure everything was working properly before it went fully online, and she knew she could trust them with the task. Once it was completed, they would be a protector there, making sure everyone in it stayed safe… or something like that. They weren’t entirely sure, but they were happy to help with whatever they could. Especially if it meant restoring the minds of the santitized octolings that were still in the Deepsea Metro. When Agent 8 told them about what that weird phone thing did, Four wanted to help in any way possible. 

They weren’t doing any protecting right now, though. At the moment, all they had to do was run a few tests in the Spire of Order, the giant building that looked kinda like Deca Tower, to make sure the floors were working properly. 

But something was wrong. The code felt different than it normally did. As their digital avatar— which looked almost exactly like them in real life— slowly loaded into the Order Sector, they heard a voice they didn’t recognize.

“You are Agent 4, yes?” As the rest of the world materialized around them, they found a face to match with the voice. It looked like some kind of blob of black code… with a face? Marina hadn’t said anything about something like this.

“Yeah, who’re you?”

“I am Order itself. A conscious generated from the processes or many who yearn for stability.”

“Umm okay. What’d Marina put you here for?” If this thing was supposed to be a part of the Memverse, why hadn’t Marina told them about it? They were given full access to all information regarding this weird digital world, so why didn’t they see anything about this guy?

“I am here to bring order to the world.”

“Riiight well I gotta go get some beta testing done now soooo…” they tried to get around Order, but it blocked their path to the Spire.

“You will be assigned an alternate task.”

“Marina didn’t say anything about something else I had to do.”

“These orders do not come from Marina.”

“Then I ain’t following them. Now let me through,” they tried yet again to push past the mass of glitching code. And again, it moved to stop them.

“Do you not want to become the greatest being you can be? To become perfect? To lose all negative emotion and memory in favor of total order?”

“Say what now?” That sounded all too familiar. That was exactly how Eight said sanitization was marketed to unsuspecting octolings. They had to stay on their guard. This might not be good.

“You will be greyscaled in the name of order.” The blob glitched then shot into the air. Upon landing it transformed into a massive octopus creature. This definitely wasn’t good.

Four was just here for some minor beta testing, not a legit boss fight. They took cover behind some coral and pulled up the mod menu Marina had given them in case of emergencies. They equipped themself with a splattershot— or order shot as it was called here— a splat bomb for the sub and a trizooka special. They’d be at a significant disadvantage since they didn’t have a drone with them, or the chance to fill their palette with color chips, or any hacks. But with a weapon build made just for them, they had a shot at winning.

“Look dude, I don’t know why you’re here, but if you’re trying to take away people’s free will then there is no chance I’m letting that happen. That is the exact opposite reason why Marina made this place!” Four shouted, running out from the cover the coral provided to begin their attack.

“Commencing greyscaling.” Order began to shoot massive blobs of black ink right at Agent 4. The thing wasn’t even acknowledging them anymore, how rude! Whatever. They’d take it out and then warn Marina about whatever was going on that caused this mess. “Agent 4, aren’t you tired of being seen as inferior to the other agents? Tired of being forgotten? You can help me bring order to this world, and no one would forget who you are again.”

They hesitated for half a second, but that was all the time Order needed. There was a sudden, intense pain in Four’s right leg. One of the ink blobs had hit them, and it stuck on. They felt their leg going numb the longer it stayed. This was so so not good. Another blob hit their shoulder and they cried out in pain as they stumbled to the ground. The ink didn’t do any damage but they felt it spreading more and more. It seeped through their skin and travelled along their veins. It was cold and stung like dry ice. But how could they feel it if this was all digital? Unless it was somehow happening in the physical world too. They tried to reach to rip it off, but their arm wouldn’t move. Their whole body wouldn’t move. The ink was spreading faster now, up their neck, over their chin, into their eyes. It hurt more than anything they could imagine. 

And then suddenly it didn’t anymore. Suddenly all the pain melted away.

“Greyscaling complete.”

[yelenasdiary]

hey, if possible could you make one about the advent calendar with the autistic reader where natasha makes christmas programs with the reader so as not to escape the routine?

☃️ Festive Calendar ☃️

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Autistic! Reader

Summary: Nat helps you enjoy the holidays without any stress. 

Fluff | 0.6K | No Warnings | 

Translations: dorogoy (darling)

AC: I hope you enjoy this, my apologises for it take a little while to write, I did some research before writing. If I offend you or anybody by this fic I’m so sorry! I never want to make anybody uncomfortable or offended by my work, I hope all this is okay. 

Day 22 | Advent Calendar Masterlist 🎄

Natasha knew with Christmas coming up that you'd be stressing quietly about the change in routine, she could see it on your face even though to the others you hid it very well. She wondered how she could help make things a lot easier for you but still keep your original routine. It wasn't easy for Nat to watch you try to avoid holidays and events as they would come and go, she wanted you to always feel your best and enjoy yourself in any way you wanted to. 

 "Baby, can we talk for just a moment?" she asked you while standing in the doorway of the living room, you looked up at her and nodded slowly, unsure what she would want to talk about. "So, I was thinking, with December starting next week, how about we have a look at the calendar and work out days where we can do something for Christmas and which days, we don't need to do anything. Does that sound okay?" she asked as she sat down beside you on the sofa. You smiled softly, "I think that sounds good". Natasha quickly got up and grabbed the calendar from the kitchen and a blue inked pen to fill the month of December with things. 

"Is there anything you'd like to do during the Christmas holiday?" Natasha asked you, wanting you to be in complete control over the holiday. "I'd like to help decorate the tree and the house" you smiled at the thought, "but, I don't think I want to go shopping for the tree, it might be too busy and too loud with all the children running around" you added.

"That is completely okay, dorogoy" Nat smiled as she wrote down 'Christmas decorating' on December 1st, "I'll go with Wanda and the twins to get us a tree and when I'm back we can start decorating it, I'll go early in the morning, so we don't have to rush anything" she explained which you nodded in reply. 

"I would also like to bake cookies and build a gingerbread house with you" 

Natasha's heart melted at the suggestion, making her smile once more. "Which day would you like to do that?" she asked before gently moving the calendar towards you so you could work out which day you thought would work best. "Uhm, 19th?" you answered after a few moments of thinking. "Perfect!" Natasha couldn't help but gently place a kiss on your cheek before she wrote down 'Baking Day' on December 19th. 

"Oh and before I forget, let's keep our room a Christmas free-zone, so that way, if you need to take a break our room will completely Christmas free, no decorations, candles or anything like that" Natasha explained instantly putting that worry to rest and earning a warm smile from you. "Is there anything else?" she asked. 

"Could we do gift shopping online? Please?" you asked as you remembered all the horrible times you had to shop with your family in the mall. "Of course, we can! We will need to allow time for delivery so how about December 5th?" Nat asked, again you nodded in response. 

When everything was all done and planned out carefully, you felt better about the busy time of year and a hint of excitement to be spending the holiday with Natasha who you could see only wanted to make this a perfect Christmas for you.

"Thank you Natty, for this. It will help a lot" you smiled as she placed the pen down, "Anything for you honey" Nat returned the smile before you slowly snuggled up close to her for a few moments as your own little way of truly thanking her.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | 

[fatuismooches]

SMOOCHES!! Hii sweetheart, I hope you’ve been doing well! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit inactive with brainrots, school has been stressful and on top of it I’ve been struggling with my condition. Everything’s just been really heavy on me with how frequent I go to see doctors. And I may have a rare syndrome that may have affected why I grew so short (4’10). So yeah I’ve been re-reading a lot of your lovely fragile!reader works throughout the weeks.

But I keep thinking on just Zandik holding fragile!raeder while they ramble about their problems. It’s like their own safe haven, wheee you feel heard and protected by the only person who’s stuck by your side since childhood. :( I just wanna snuggle against his strong arms and fall asleep to the sound of his heart beat. Or just being comforted through examinations while Zandik checks to make sure your vitals aren’t deteriorating. But a little angsty thought: on one occurrence where Zandik is checking your vitals and he sees they haven’t improved but slowly decreased. Seeing that the medication you take is useless and he’ll need to batch something up quickly before you take notice or grow concerned. Also, fragile!reader going to Zandy for cuddles or inviting him into their room so they can cuddle. You put on a fake smile and brush it off as “wanting to be with your favorite boy”. But in reality you just really need comfort but don’t want to nag Zandik so frequently that you’ll just be a nuisance. Yeah just fragile!reader always feeling guilt </3 it’s how I’ve been for the past few days.

But I hope you have a much better week than I have had!! And I hope it’s okay to ask, but I remember you writing something about the Harbingers having a “meeting” to figure out who’s the mysterious veiled figure who is at times seen outside the lab with Dottore. I’m not sure if you ever finished it or forgot about it you don’t have to answer this I’m so sorry.

-from your dear boo boo bear 🎐 anon ୨୧

HI 🎐 ANON MY LOVE!!! <333 Please don't worry about me or brainrots! I just want you to take care of yourself. That sounds so so stressful I couldn't even begin to imagine. I hope you're managing to get rest between all of that :( I wish i could provide you with more than my words and virtual hugs, but I sincerely hope things get better for you. *hugs* And to answer your question, I'm still working on that fic, slowly but surely! It's probably going to take a while due to school and whatnot but it'll be finished eventually. I also ended up changing the title to Latin since all my Dottore fics have that theme but I also realized how bad online translators are for Latin so right now the tentative title is "Medicus potest amare? (responsum est quod sic)" That's probably way too long so it'll might get shortened. But yeah!! I hope you enjoy it when it comes out 🎐 anon ❤️

But yes! Many of the times Dottore can't really help with your problems, since they're probably related to your illness and whatnot, but what matters to you is how he listens without interrupting or nitpicking. Whether you're on his lap or cuddling together he holds you very tightly, he unconsciously holds you like that as if you would leave him. But you don't complain since you like the security of his arms. Though if it's something within his ability to do, whether it's simple or not, his clones will get it done for you. Just to make your life even the tiniest bit easier. Examinations are never fun but Zandik being the one who does them makes them a bit more comforting :( You probably dread them a lil bit since they're just a constant reminder of your sickness but Zandik and his clones do try their best to make it as stress-free as possible for you :) which is honestly a challenge for them at first considering what they usually do but dneuwidfd they'll do anything for you, yk?

Wahh the angsty thought is unfortunately a frequent reality for Dottore... </3 No matter how much he sees it, he can never truly get used to it, there's always a sharp twinge in his chest. Though he never tells you what he sees... he doesn't want you to take on extra burdens. And ughh,,, cuddles with baby Zandy ;(( honestly his childlike innocence and smile make you feel a bit better but tbh he's still a smart boy so he can probably tell when you're lying and genuinely feeling down! Zandy will still cuddle with you of course but he will probably tell Dottore that he noticed how sad you are, and soon enough the Harbinger will be in your room again. Reminding you that you are not a nuisance. That although his methods aren't conventional, he's your husband, and he's here to help and comfort you. That you two will be together until the very end of the world.

[revserrayyu]

My experience with Serval’s companion missions

I finished both “Time Express” and “Only A Child” and wrote this up shortly after on hoyolab about a week ago, but I figured I might as well post it all on here as well with a few additional thoughts towards the end now that I had more time to think about everything. Needless to say, I experienced many emotions that I felt the need to ramble on about.

(so spoiler warning for those two missions? though I’m sure the majority have completed them already.)

Being relatively new to HSR, I didn’t realize these specific missions ultimately allowed for certain characters to become visitors on the Astral Express. I’ve done a couple of these missions previously, but thought it was just a random occurrence regarding who and when they’ll ask to visit the train. This is my own fault for accepting missions too quickly, so I tend to miss some finer details. This was absolutely the case once I got a message from Serval because of course I’m going to drop everything I’m currently doing and help out one of my favorites in the blink of an eye! She’s been a reliable teammate of mine til now so you can imagine the blissful shock I felt when she brings up the possibility of joining the Astral Express.

Deep deep down, I had a feeling that the game itself was set in stone with who the main group of the Express was going to consist of. It’s a pretty solid family of six after all, so I had my doubts it was going to expand so easily, especially at the wishes of us as the mc. Everyone would just recruit their favorite characters and then no one would be left roaming the worlds (which I do enjoy, honestly. Seeing all these familiar faces out and about, living their own lives when you can go check in on them whenever you want. Makes the world feel more.. I dunno, inviting? real?). Anyway, even with that tint of doubt, I strongly hoped such an idea was still possible. The game is great about having various replies to the different text options we can choose during conversation, giving the impression that what you say does indeed make some kind of impact (which is another thing I love about this game btw), so naturally, being me, I wanted Serval to join us. Like, now. Instantly.

I chose to run the idea by Himeko, but read online afterwards that she, Welt and Pom-Pom would’ve accept a new member regardless. It was sweet learning how open they were to a friend of yours joining the family, but it makes me sad knowing that now after having finished both missions because darn it, it could’ve actually happened had the game let it! Aahh, it seemed easy and too good to be true, and if there was one person I was wary of about this whole situation going by smoothly, it was Gepard. Upon running into the siblings in the workshop and seeing him ask Serval about rejoining the Silvermane Guards again, I believed that would deter her from actually wanting to stay in Belobog, as the job might cause some unpleasant memories to resurface. Even though I wasn’t surprised to see Serval being so hesitant about the idea or going to talk to Bronya, I was pleasantly surprised about Gepard agreeing that Serval might benefit well from traveling. I was happy to hear that, of course, but also because he also seemed more concerned with his sister’s happiness and well-being rather than what’s best for the city and the civilians, which says a lot about him, being captain of the guards.

Cut to the conversation happening within Qlipoth Fort and here’s where my first “oh no, she’s staying” feeling struck me. Up til now, I knew Serval was a kind and considerate soul; it was evident back when she stayed behind to assist Gepard and his men fight off the incoming enemies while everyone else went to confront Cocolia at Everwinter Hill. Seeing her choose her family over the chance to see a stellaron, something Serval spent so much time and effort into researching over the many years for her career, spoke volumes to me about how selfless she is. Hearing her admit that her idea of running away with the Express crew to fulfill her own dreams was a bit recklessly selfish instead of help those in need in Belobog with the skills only she has made her really pause and think about what to do next.

To add even more fuel to the fire, the past comes back to haunt Serval even more with the reveal of the famous guitar. This moment is a little silly to me though, but only because I’ve been persistently using Serval on my team, so seeing her with the guitar is nothing new in my eyes, but it’s clear that story Serval hasn’t seen said guitar in quite some time. Which makes me wonder, how did she help Gepard and the soldiers near the barrier previously without her main weapon..?

Oh boy, and to think I’ve been letting her fight so often with such a guitar so heavily linked to her upsetting past. I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t know!

Moving onwards, there’s one thing I adore about this conversation with the siblings near the flower shop and it's how the npc on the bench was actually playing one of Serval’s songs. If I hadn’t recently went back and watched all the character’s trailers then I probably wouldn’t have caught that extra detail, but it’s so good that they included it and had Serval confirm it as well to prove I wasn’t going insane and overly thinking about it. But yeah, another slight “oh no, she’s not gonna want to leave” moment if the people actually enjoy and appreciate her music.

I still kept teetering whether or not the game was actually gonna allow Serval to join the Astral Express at this point with all the little hints it tossed in, but when following the siblings back to the workshop to help Serval pack her bags, I was like “wow, maybe it could actually happen?” I wasn’t completely convinced though since every item we looked at around the shop seemed to have a ton of sentimental value to them, such as the unfinished letter to her mother, the plant from Lynx, that family heirloom case and of course the guitar. Now is a good of a time as any to also mention how much I love Serval’s voice actress. Throughout this whole mission (and the one upcoming), she has put so much darn emotion into her voice! I swear it was enough to get me emotional too. I’m not only saying that because Serval is a favorite of mine and I’m bias but because of how easy it was to feel her pain through every word spoken. Even now, just reading the conversation over again, I can still hear the emotion so clearly in my mind. The weight behind all her words, sighs, pauses and the hopelessness she felt due to all the changes in her life that she had no real control over.. aah, I just have so much empathy and love for this girl y’all.

Once everything was packed and ready, I truly thought the Express family was gonna succeed in gaining another member.. that is until Gepard opens his mouth and requests some assistance in the Underworld. I can accept he truly wanted Serval’s help with all the energy hubs, maybe to also spend a little more time with her before she leaves and I’m certain he had no idea of an incoming monster attack, but the end result really threw my wish out the window. I did appreciate that quick moment that happened before taking the train to the Underworld, where it was briefly mentioned that Serval was late to meet us due to actually getting in touch with her parents. I like how she’s making an effort to be on better terms with the family despite being kicked out, and while there’s no issue with mom, there’s still a lot of tension between her and dad. Thankfully Gepard is fully aware of it as well. Again, I love all the emotion in Serval’s voice, even her slight anger.

And the emotions just keep on coming in waves because her entire encounter with this decaying Cocolia-like shadow almost had me breaking down and shaking as well.

It's happened a couple times now within the story and these missions that whenever the conversation does get real heavy, Serval tries her hardest to lighten the mood regardless of what she feels in her heart and I want to hug her so much. She doesn’t deserve all this pain!

Honestly though, with all the heartbreak and setbacks Serval has endured since Cocolia went power hungry, we’re lucky it all didn’t lead her to start her own villain arc, ya know? I’m thankful she stayed strong all these years, but who knows how close she was to snapping and giving up and that thought alone makes me so sad. The game can only show us so much about each character but just imaging Serval struggle from losing her job, all her research, her closest friend and all the family drama is a lot for one person to bear. 

Good lil’ Geppie stepping forward to defend his sister while she needs a moment to get all her emotions in check.

And me too, naturally. I’d defend this woman with my life and give her the world if I could! She deserves so much happiness!

Yeaaahh sweetie, fight your demons! And not that anyone was wondering, but yes I had Serval on my actual team this entire time, so having her actually take part in this fight was wonderful once again. 

With the all the chaos over with, we all end up back at Natasha’s clinic to check up on the people we helped escaped and I’m hit with even more “oh no” signals as we witness this other sister and brother pair talk about their family.

And the warning signs kept on flashing in my head as Gepard speaks his own mind as well. Serval’s silence is so loud til her request to chat with her brother confirms exactly what I’ve been fearing.

And then the “oh no” feeling finally lands a critical hit on my heart as Serval reveals her choice to stay in Belobog. Again, I had a hunch it was going to happen, but having Himeko approve of a new member and Serval pack her bags really had me believe that her boarding the Atral Express was possible for a while.

Even though the news bums be out, it means so much more to see Serval turn over a new leaf and become a better version of herself.

And you just know she’s going to improve Belobog so much with all her knowledge and skills with mechanics. We might not personally get to see it, since there’s so much else going on within the game’s story, but I can dream, can’t I?

Now, I’m already proud of her for all the personal progress she’s made so far to make the decision to stay, but I could’ve never imagined what her final request would’ve been back on Everwinter Hill. For a brief moment, I took her words quite literally and believed we were actually going to hear her sing a calm melody or something.

Once she started shouting.. I quickly realized this wasn’t gonna be as heartfelt as I thought. If I was in Serval’s place, I probably would’ve sent countless swears to Cocolia for all the heartache her actions left upon me. 

What actually happened, however, was far from anything I expected! At first I figured perhaps Serval might’ve brought the guitar to use as a makeshift headstone of sorts, but nope! Let’s smash it to pieces instead! Ooohh what a powerful moment, not only because of the quick cutscene or all the rage in her “I will no longer live in your shadow!” scream (sending praise to her voice actress once more), but also due to how significant that guitar was to both Serval and Cocolia. It was something they built together and as much as Serval absolutely loves music, she rather live freely without her past holding her hostage than keep the instrument around as a constant reminder of everything she lost.

Again, I feel so bad because I use Serval all the time in fights and knowing now what that guitar represents to her is.. unfortunate. I mean, I know Cocolia was the one who gathered all the parts available so Serval could create it just as perfectly as she designed it, but I’d like to imagine Serval was capable to create a newer improved version of the guitar afterwards.. just so I won’t feel guilty having her in my team still. Anyways, I did find it a little funny that after witnessing his sister rage out and destroy one of her most special possessions, he asks something so simple.

But all is well because she definitely deserves to feel happy and free from her past. I wish she could’ve been there for the real final battle too. Whatever happened to March promising to take pictures of the stellaron for her, huh? I know the battle was wild but surely she had to capture some moments yeah? Pftt, I wish.

After a quick thanks (which really wasn't necessary because I'd happily do anything for this woman), her mood improves so quick and I’m glad she’s got all that weight off her shoulders now and can focus more on better and brighter things in her life.

When all is said and done, of course I sprinted back to see if there was anything additional after the mission ended and I’m glad I checked. She’s not wrong about how the whole guitar smashing fits the rock n’ roll vibe, so now I’m feeling a bit stupid about how I never thought of that actually being something she would do considering everything that’s happened, but it works very well for her story.

As proud as I am of her for willingly offering her assistance so everyone can have better lives in Belobog, I am holding onto that “for now” bit so tightly within my grasp.

I know better to get my hopes up again but.. please please please please please ~

And that's the end of that. Apologies again for rambling on but I just get very passionate about favorite characters of mine and can’t hold back (some might say it’s very on brand for me to do so). I tease about wanting Serval to join the Astral Express so badly, but I truly am happy with the choice she’s made for herself. She’s fantastic and I’m amazed how quickly someone from this game earned a place in my heart. 

HSR really knew the perfect way to capture my attention, honestly, the way they had Serval be a free reward you receive from the start. Of course, I probably would've grown attached to her regardless because right away her character design is simply stunning! She's gorgeous but I also love how asymmetrical her outfit is, with one half is a torn up uniform from her days associated with the Silvermane Guards/the Architects while the other half clearly gives off her rockstar vibes. It captures her past and future wonderfully.

Then finally getting properly introduced to her during the first trailblazing mission where we learn bits and pieces of her past due to her rather complicated and unfortunate relationship with Cocolia was great, even though it tugged on some heart strings. It really set up just how how involved other characters aside from the Express crew are within the story itself, which is yet another thing I sincerely appreciate with HSR; the fact that everyone seems to have some sort of significance and gets the attention they deserve. Getting a deeper look into all the playable character's personal stories through these missions is such a nice touch and so impressive with how many there are so far. At this moment in time, I've done a handful of other companion quests for other characters, but only a few really managed to leave an impact on me, such as Natasha's, Luka's and Yukong's, but Serval's feelings and struggles during these two missions was beyond anything I could've imagined. It's all the emotion coupled with learning what makes a character who they are now and how they manage to live their lives dealing with their past that's really memorable to me and Serval's had that in spades. Who knew a simple request to meet up for some afternoon tea would lead me down an emotional investing road to find my favorite character?

[sakuraalexia]

Info dump #5: Digital Reincarnation Naming Lore + Arts:

Been a long time since I’ve done one of these but, I wanted to explain a little thing that will be in the future, since I have posted a series of pictures over the past months, that have taken me longer and stressed me out more than they should have, unfortunately I should add, but that’s my will of starting new things over finishing WIPs, and series of drawings, if consistent make me want to move away rather than not, but that’s me and it’s not what I wanted to talk about. 

I wanted to talk about the reason why I chose certain names, some may be pretty obvious, since they are canon, trust me, Yoko Taro said so, but others may be a little spoilery for now.

So if you want to read, do so at your own discretion, they’ll be further down, I’ll start with the canon ones.

As we know, the four YoRHa girls protagonists of the musical had a promise with Rose, even though she didn’t make it to the end, like most of them, that promise never took place, but in an interview and a twitter post, that Rose’s actress (and anime VA too now) Ui Hinagata had been thinking about naming the girls, and revealed it, and as she said the names Yoko Taro plainly declared them canon.

The meaning of the flowers may not be accurate, they’re the most popular meanings online.

A2’s name is Freesia. That flower means trust and friendship, possibly given to her due to the fact that she decided to have faith in Rose and her group, that started everything.

A4’s name is Amaryllis. The flower means pride and determination, possibly since she is always determined to fight no matter what, also may be due to her false memories, she was a school girl that spoke about having a lot of friends that gave her the strength to face a difficult test.

G16’s name is Lycoris. The flower is otherwise known as a spider lily, the meaning seems to be death and goodbyes, possibly tied to her violent nature and for the fact she’s always the first to throw herself in battle.

S21’s name is Cattleya. The flower means beauty, grace, and love, though I do agree that she’s beautiful and graceful (I’m biased as it’s probably obvious she’s my favorite of the four), possibly the name might have been given due to the meaning about love, because as we know personalities of the Number 21 are very caring about the people around them, and their dreams is to have a family.

These were the canonical ones, now the ones chosen by myself, though I did ask for help and an opinion of other friends who love Nier.

2B’s name is Luna, which is short for Lunar Tears, as we feel it’s a flower that would fit her well, ties in the lore of the game, and its meaning is hope in a dying world, which also fits her very well.

6O’s name is Sunny, short for Sunflower, means positivity, admiration and loyalty, personally I feel all three meanings fit her, she’s a happy person, she admires the people close to her and is loyal to them.

These two are a little more niche and tied to the lore of the story, and particularly, tied to Robin.

9S’ name is Clover, though the flower means gentleness and good fortune, he is gentle with 2B, and also he’s lucky and blessed between women as we say, but he’s mostly tied to Robin as if you know her, with Professor Clover. 9S is curious and like him he’s been killed (multiple times) because of his forbidden knowledge. 2B still calls him Nines.

21O’s name is Olivia, olive branches are a symbol of peace, all that YoRHa want, but, much like 9S, if you know the lore, Robin’s mother’s name is Olvia, but as you can see it’s not the exact same, this is because 21O refuses to have the exact name of her mother, even though she feels like one, she doesn’t want to take Olvia’s place. To Robin’s insistence, a letter is added, turning the name to Olivia, keeping it similar yet not the same, and keeping the same flower/plant theme.

These were the ideas, there’s nothing more to this than that.

The chapter will be out a while in the future, the naming is not too far away.

[oldcoyote]

I wish you were kinder to yourself. I know it’s hard, but you are — genuinely and unequivocally — beautiful. Your eyes in that second picture are crazy gorgeous, dude! And like…beauty is not worth, or value; and it can mean everything or nothing, depending on the room and the day and the fucking weather — but. I feel like a lot of your self-worth is wrapped up in this really dysmorphic view of your appearance? And that’s not…I’m not casting judgement, or coming at you from any kind of high-horsed place, because: my friend. My friend, I have been there. And you are beautiful. If you weren’t, it would be fine, and you would still be good. But you are. And I hope you believe it, one day. I hope you believe other, more important things about yourself (that you are good; that you are worthy; that you are talented; that you matter), too.

you are very, very kind, but as i have mentioned before (though it was a long time ago) all the pictures of me that are posted online are highly edited to make my face more acceptable and less uncomfortable for other people to look at. so while i appreciate the compliment immensely, it's more a compliment to my photoshop/youcam skills than my actual appearance. the eyes in the second picture are edited as well, which is why they look crazy gorgeous - they're not real

i am coming around strongly to accept that beauty is not value or worth, which has helped immensely in accepting my actual face in the context of running my D&D games on camera and such. those friends in my games don't flinch at my face anymore, they're used to me, and just forgetting about my face being visible while i roleplay and run those games has done huge things for my social confidence - i'm nowhere near as bad as i used to be, for sure

i am trying to learn how to value myself at all, which is a huge struggle. i was raised in the mentality that absolute humility and selflessness was essential to being a good person; thus, to think highly of yourself made you horrible, vain, self-centered, and worst of all - selfish - which was the worst possible thing you could be in the eyes of my parents and grandparents. on top of that, not being beautiful enough to be treated kindly by the world once i left home just hammered home that lack of worth because so much emphasis of worth is placed on beauty. unlearning all of that is going to take a lifetime. but i am working on it, i promise. deprogramming is just a very difficult path with no real guidance as to what steps or actions to take

thank you so much for being so very kind and generous with your compliments, they're so appreciated, and i hope you're right and someday i can feel that way about myself. maybe one day i'll feel good enough to not edit my photos anymore, and hope that people will accept me for me. one day.

[wahbegan]

A Brief Review of the Silent Hill Transmission

Silent Hill Ascension: So straight off the bat, this is the only one i think is going to be unambiguously bad based on what little we have. It appears to be y’know less game and more “interactive story”, promising YOU the players can help SHAPE SILENT HILL CANON, but also being a multiplayer online thing that releases incrementally, being by the creators of Dead by Daylight. The way they talked about the exact logistics of this wasssss non-existent, but the way they were hyping it up made it essentially sound like an MMO version of a Supermassive game and/or a democratic version of Black Mirror’s Bandersnatch. I love new ideas. I love new ways of approaching games. It’s just that this particular approach happens to be fucking stupid. Also the brief look at the monster looks like a Dead by Daylight killer, and I don’t mean that in a good way. ALSO J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot are involved, and J.J. Abrams has not done a single good thing since idk Cloverfield? So we’re gonna put together the formula of The Dark Anthology Pictures games, Live Service games, and J.J. “The Mystery Box Man” Abrams in a blender and see what happens. That sounds for......a really funny news cycle if nothing else.NEEEEXT Silent Hill Townfall:  Interesting company behind it, made some fun and unique little indie story-based horror, so i’m told. Unfortunately, this was by far the least helpful trailer, and all i really got from it was the talking heads on the radio....tv....thing talking about how they were there to be punished in a way that, maybe I’m misinterpreting, but maaaaybe was veering a little too tongue-in-cheek meta for me. I don’t know though. I’m mostly indifferent, the trailer showed nothing, I cannot stress enough. Did not work up my feelings one way or another Silent Hill f (Silent Hill forte?): This is the only one i’m actually really fucking pumped for. Masahiro Ito is back, but actually going in a direction with his art that he really wants to be going and is creatively interested in, the world and art design look incredibly unique, it looks unsettling as fuck, it doesn’t capitalize on ANY previous Silent Hill iconography or indeed, even the town itself, seeming like it’s set in some rural and possibly in the past Japanese town, and it’s written by a guy who apparently writes quite disturbing shit. Apparently. Iiiiii can’t really get past the art style or genre of his previous work sorry so i’ll take people’s word for it. I’m glad they ended on this, because it gave me a lil note of hope to take away from the whole thing Various Silent Hill 2 announcements: I knew a remake of Silent Hill 2 a la the REmakes was coming, and i was fine with it, cautiously optimistic about it, even....even though they really should remake Silent Hill first since that’s the one in significantly more dire need of a re-imagining a la the first Resident Evil, but i digress. Footage looks pretty good, even though they inexplicably made James Sunderland ugly but honestly that’s kind of hilarious, my only real gripe is that it’s being developed by Bloober Team. You know, the Blair Witch Layers of Fear lads, the ones who take to plots about mental illness with all the subtlety and nuance of a napalm enema and are most widely (in)famous for making walking simulators. But, I’m willing to give them and Konami the benefit of the doubt. After all, if Capcom can do it

Then came the announcement of the movie. Another Christophe Gans joint, and all right, that’s fine the first Silent Hill movie wasn’t....well it wasn’t exactly great, but it wasn’t terrible either, i liked bits of it.

The movie is an adaptation of Silent Hill 2. Oh, fuck me jogging, here we go. Now look, some of the storyboards looked very promising and as with the remake, Christophe was swearing up one wall and down another that he’d suck the original’s dick with proper reverence and cradle the balls and everything, but that’s not really my main concern, my main concern is-

Huh? What’s that? Silent Hill 2 statuettes? Yeah, I mean I guess that’s-

A Pyramid Head skateboard? I mean....all right, yeah it-

What? The dog? The dog from the dog ending? A stuffed animal AND a figurine complete with control panel?

SIGH.

Yes, unfortunately, Konami are officially milking Silent Hill 2 until the sad bastard’s udders bleed. Part of me can’t help but wonder if this isn’t Konami’s fucked up Wishmaster, Calypso from Twisted Metal, Monkey’s Paw interpretation of the backlash they kept getting from just slapping the iconic images from Silent Hill 2 on everything divorced of context.

But no, more likely they just keep hearing the way people bang on and on about Silent Hill 2 as one of the greatest games of all time (which it is) and are cynically trying to re-capture lightning in a bottle in their never-ending quest for profit, somehow forever blind to the fact that if they just give passionate artists money and let them do whatever the fuck they want like they did with the original Team Silent, new lightning might strike; comparatively, sitting around all day trying to force the exact same lightning bolt from two decades ago into various newer and shinier bottles will never EVER reproduce the same effect, only ghosts of it with various degrees of success. 

This is the same thing every media company everywhere in the fucking world is doing right now, but especially horror, so it’s hardly surprising, but it is....depressing. Ten years after they cancelled a truly original Silent Hill game that also would have made them more money than God with the P.T. stunt Kojima pulled in the most baffling financial decision in human history, the fact that most of what they have to show is  THE SILENT HILL 2 SHOWWWW and an “interactive community experience” chasing modern trends is fucking depressing.

But like i said Silent Hill f i’m actually happy about and Silent Hill Townfall, goofy name aside, has Schrodinger’s quality going for it right now, it literally could be anything so fingers crossed for that

[iamnotdame]

I Don’t Owe You Anything, Anymore: Letting Go

I’ve lived and stood on morals & values this entire journey:

• Integrity

• Love

• Humility

• Honesty

• Respect

• Patience

• Communication

• Appreciation

• Admiration

• Accountability

• Responsibility

• Sacrifice

• Selflessness

• Pride

• Compassion

• Care

• Discipline

• Restitution

• Fear

… all to a fault, but proud of the man all of these things have made me today.

I don’t have any regrets, but I am a bit confused about it all.

I don’t ever doubt God, but I spend a lot of my time sad, wondering if I was right for living on so many morals & values, in a world that doesn’t seem to care about any of these things anymore.

- I’ve never complained about anything, to anyone.

- To cope, I write, I pray, I think of solutions and plans to improve myself.

- My entire life, I’ve still never drank or smoked anything to escape.

- I stopped eating bad to distract myself because while I’m carrying all of this, I’m also working on improving my health, too.

- I don’t blame anyone for anything, I guilt myself for everything instead.

- I don’t ever look for sympathy. I do hope for empathy, and it never comes.

- I don’t use anything I’m going through as an excuse to make my journey easier by compromising any of my morals.

So why do I still feel like that bad guy?

Because people are great at guilting you into humility, just so they can step on you, then project their everything onto you.

I am graduating from this feeling, even if it kills me.

I am going to tell my stories. All of them. My heart burns everyday because I’m doing everything but expressing my true feelings, releasing old thoughts and breaking through to a new world of possibilities, once I can shed the weight of feeling like an imposter.

…

To all of the people who I have helped, at the cost of my life, my health and well being, I do not owe you anything anymore. I’ve tried everything God has told me to do, and everything I came up with upon countless hours and hours of critical thinking from my heart, and I’m done. I’ve exhausted it all, while watching no one give 1% of what I gave.

• My family. My father. My grandmother. My brother. My sister. I do not owe you guys anything. I never have. I don’t owe you guys care or feeling anymore because none of you have shown any humility, while watching every step I take online.

Former & Current Students I’ve helped, taught, mentored, listened to for HOURS, tried every possible way to help you with your problems, your mental health, your living situations, helping you to become a better producer, singer, songwriter, rapper, student and human… I do not owe you my time anymore. I don’t owe you humility for buying into my classes and services that were made to help YOU. That should have been enough, but I gave more to fill my own voids, thinking I was helping you to fill yours.

It offends me to see so many, and nearly all of you claim to be passionate about music, chasing your dreams and reaching your goals, when in reality, it’s not even a dream to a lot of you. But me, being so far deep into the dream chase, I consider you like me, and help you how I wish I would have been helped by my own family and peers. None of this is your fault though, and I’m not blaming you, but I am upset that I wasn’t able to help you guys how I thought I was, even though it wasn’t me that didn’t get you there, it was your own lack of, that I enabled and never exposed.

To the few guys who were close to me, the guys I called little brothers, co-workers and friends, the ones I tried to make partners and never treated like employees beneath me, instead tried to empower to be leaders alongside me. I don’t owe you anymore humility. I will soon name you all, and tell my stories through art; in the meantime, just know that I’m proud of who I was able to help you all become, unconditionally.

Just like I used to always say, if you appreciated me, you should have been able to show it consistently, not just when you weren’t in your feelings about something that should have never existed before the communication I thought we all agreed to practicing.

I spend every single day, worrying about everyone’s lives… how their families are doing, every time they’ve ever told me about something not working in their lives, how much you hate your jobs, how your girlfriends are doing this and that, how you’re not sure if you should keep doing music, family & friends issues, and a world more… we spent hours, days & weeks coming up with ideas and solutions on how your lives could be better so that you were better teammates, peers to each other, better students, followers, in hopes of you all becoming the leaders you told me you wanted to be.

I will never, ever put myself in position to be disrespected by another student or apprentice. I will not ever trust anyone under me to be on the side of me without proving thoroughly that you deserve it.

I will never assume that a person is my friend because they greet me with a smile.

Once again, none of this is anyones fault but my own for leading with humility, ignorantly. 100% my fault.

I’ve given all of my concerns, issues, struggles, tears, fears, doubts, worries and frustrations to God and will continue to do so until I have a clear path on how to reach my next destination.

I always show up as strong, confident, “everything is all good” and like I have it all figured out, when ironically, I do it all from a place of humility and consideration of others, I end up feeling like no one cares. It’s crazy.

I don’t know how to call anyone and explain this over a phone call, so I lay it all out here, and I think that’s pretty cool. I don’t want to ever get met with someone hardly listening or not caring anyway, so writing and talking to God is enough.

I honestly have no idea what’s next for me, but I trust God through it all. I’m actually excited, because I know for a fact that being a humble servant all of these years will not lead me to anything less than blessings and a clear mind on WHAT I WANT, something I’ve never thought of.

God knows that I’ve given every single situation on my heart 1000% effort. Without a shadow of a doubt.

I’ve earned the right to graduate from caring about so many and so much. I’ve earned the right to get go of others peoples burdens.

I’ve earned the right to finally be selfish. I’ve earned the right to finally put myself first.

Now, I just have to grow some balls and actually do it. Graduate. Step up to the next level. Take another leap, on faith and confidence.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AHHHH SO EXCITED!!! I lowk forgot proofreading was a thing LMAO enjoy the rest of your activities though!!!

The headers always look so clean and nice….i love how you format them LOL the bfb one slaps hard!!!

I feel like it’s been hinted that we’ll get a Kunigami comeback in just really hoping that kaneshiro doesn’t pull a gege and leave us hanging!!! You don’t even know when gege just dropped some basic mentions of Inumaki’s background and never even gave us a flashback of baby toge I LOST IT

LFMAOO STOP IM CRYING I totally forgot that since they’re both six foot and from the Kansai region AND both have animals in their name (yup!! Sheep hiori canon LMAO) AND play for Bambi Osaka….goodbye just a collective face palm everyone is so done HAHAHA

MIDAIR well now you have a very unique experience to talk about if you ever get thrown into an icebreaker game LMAOOOO I like how they like prepared barf bags for the ride?? Maybe it’s more common than you’d think LOL and omg…yk maybe the gimmick for these meds is that they knock you out so you CANT feel anything but yesss we love flat nice roads that don’t induce motion sickness!!

OH YEAH ok that’s definitely one moment that caught me too I just couldn’t think of it but the way that he and zantetsu just bonded and got to know each other a bit in the bath scene…the team v trio truly would not have existed without that duo first!! I wish we got more moments between them!! Wait speaking of….zantetsu ln…? I completely forgot that maybe that’s a possibility???

NIKO HAIRCUT i can imagine the wavy white hair just like obscuring his vision like a sheepdog LMAOO

No trust after everything we’ve seen that LN is about to just be a carbon copy of bfb LMAOOO ok but genuinely I feel like even if it is a bit different it’ll still be just as good, kinda just like exploring a different avenue of a character beyond the scope of BLLK premises! And tbh like fully truly literally based off our whole convo and what’s happened I can’t imagine Karasu being super different from what we’ve been discussing like if anything it might just feel like an expansion of a certain aspect of his character? But yeah I agree I think your safe HAHA trust when that LN comes out I’m dropping everything to read and tl….

Also you’re going to have to excuse my chronically online speed replies I somehow have a bunch of down time or time in transit that I just use to catch up and write back and doom scroll LMAO

-Karasu anon

LMAOO to be fair i barely proofread so there’s always more than a couple of mistakes in my stories but i think it’s fair considering how much i write…if i extensively proofread everything it would take forever for me to upload so i do two quick readthroughs just to catch anything super egregious (first for grammar, second for awkward bits of dialogue/sentence structure) and that’s about it. typically for something in the 5-10k range it takes me an hour or so?? but given the length we’re working w here it might be a bit longer

i think it’s so fun experiment!! the bfb one is super fun i agree…the karasu version has me drooling though like as much as i love otoya karasu is SOO handsome it just automatically looks sm better w him

oh 100% i do think he’s going to come back!! i just hope it’s in a satisfying way and not one of those gege-type comebacks where nothing is actually resolved and then they just die/become irrelevant again

i think at that point karasu would enlist otoya to help him set reader up with hiori because otoya has like girl experience?? the plot continues to thicken LMAOAOA at this point ego probably gets involved too somehow…he’s like “karasu you don’t have enough EGO 😩😤 you have to chase after the girl you want and think she’s obsessed with you” meanwhile everyone is like is that not harassment…

LITERALLY like ykw i’ve thrown up in worse places at least this was scenic!! and yeah i do think it must be pretty common because the guy wasn’t even stressed out about it 😪 ig it’s one of those things where you can’t know if you’ll be affected by it until you’re up there and once you are it’s kind of too late?? so they have to be prepared LMAO

omg wait how did i forget abt him too!! tabieita plus zantetsu would make sm sense especially considering they’re getting sm attention in epinagi rn…wait also the way karasu and zantetsu are being so focused on in epinagi is making me super hopeful for them in bm vs pxg!! like maybe they’re going to do smth soon 😳 one can hope anyways 🙏🏻

PLEASE not the sheepdog…yk what that reminds me of

CANONICAL baby nagi!!

HAHAH tbh given our track record kaneshiro will probably even name karasu’s sister yayoi atp 😭 and i agree i think it’s fun to explore characters in diff ways!! bllk doesn’t even exist in bfb so it’s automatically different already and honestly people have written all of these soccer freaks worse and more ooc i’m sure it’ll be alright!!

DON’T WORRY i just have been chronically offline so i don’t use too much data 😰 but normally i am the number one chronically online queen so i don’t mind at all

[undauntedchampion]

as far as New Year's days go...

It’s rare to know the exact moment you’re going to say a permanent goodbye to someone you loved. In a way, this is a gift, though one I’ve been given before. It’s every bit as poisonous as it was the first time.

There was so much more I wanted to do together. So much more I wanted to create and experience. I treasured the time we spent writing together. It showed me I’m still capable of long-form writing. I genuinely hadn’t thought I would ever be capable of it, with my disabilities. Your acceptance and kindness when we were creating together was what I needed to find this part of myself. And now it’s taking me to greater heights. I don’t feel the burden of my disability when I look at an activity I’d like to try anymore.

There’s been so much I’ve wanted to share with you. We used to share everything with each other, and adjusting away from that has been a slow misery. I was willing to give you everything. I wonder if you ever really realized that. My hands were open and outstretched to you, even after the arguments started. I hope you remember.

I hope you remember how you drove a queer disabled woman from her one and only online community over someone else’s argument. And you know, I found out? Jean never cared about that whole thing. When I talked to them to apologize, they didn’t even seem to know what I was talking about at first. All of this hurt was for nothing. What does that make you feel? You stated two goals to me back then in your “guidance”, for me to not hate Jean, and help me “fit in”. I didn’t ask for or need your help in those areas. With your assistance, they have both wound up as objective, smoldering failures. What can I do but laugh?

You launched a crusade against me because I vented to someone who had encouraged me to do so in the past. Again and again I apologized and pleaded to know how to fix things. But you didn’t want that, really, did you? You loved the feeling of control and submission from me. Not even in a sexual way, in some twisted emotional need. Now that I have distance, I look back across your characters, your RP, and see sisters. All us girls you played with just to make suffer. To satisfy some twisted part in your heart. Was it fun? Was it worth it? Did you get what you wanted?

You, who have insisted that you know my mind and heart better than I do. I hope that knowledge is driven into your flesh. I hope you never forget. Your pretend villainization of me won’t last very long once it doesn’t get you attention anymore. You’ll be stuck, then. Stuck in your shrunken worlds. Too afraid and cowardly to take even the smallest step toward improvement. How do you think you’ll manage with my ghost at your shoulder? Maybe she’ll smell like daisies. Maybe she’ll gently reassure you, and maybe you’ll hear her laugh over little things. The true Alaria that you claim to know so well. That sort of Knowing tends to inspire more than one bargains for.

Or, perhaps, you were lying. Another one in a series to make yourself look as good as possible to as many people as possible. Have you noticed how often everything must be about yourself? My therapist says you’re a “social narcissist”, and that’s why you’ve done this to me. Perhaps you are. Heaven knows you don’t have enough of a backbone to face that realization, or seek to improve.

My own memories will fade. Not through any mystic rite, but the simple reality of living with a brain injury. First to go will be the sweet, happy times. The nothing moments. Watching anime late into the night. Planning out scenes and plots. Every happy scene we created together. Then the larger moments, few though they were. In the end, you’ll take your place next to the other people who have hurt me the most. A seat right next to my ex-fiancé. The parallels between the two of you and what you’ve done are startlingly many. All those moments I treasured with you, with them, fade. The brain holds on to pain so much longer than happiness. Slowly my memories of you will become blurry. In a year’s time, it will be difficult to keep events in the right order. Details will be gone. In the end, all that will remain is a hazy feeling of heavy, angry grief. Just like all the others.

They’ll be good company for you, in your shrunken world. In your fear, you shrank the world down to be manageable. But you had to shrink yourself down to do it. Now you’re small, Eri. Small and unkind and pathetic. Someone who cannot be crossed lest they scorch the earth and salt your land. So much effort to keep yourself as the infallible center your tiny world revolves around.

In honor of the Alaria who exists in happy moments with you, I wish you truth. May it be the sort of painful truth that galvanizes you irrevocably to action. May you grow and learn and improve enough that you can truly know what you’ve done, and what you've lost.

[bosjess]

I am so afraid and I don’t know what to do about that

I did isolate myself. It didn’t help. But I can’t be around people, because there is something deeply wrong with me that I think is unfixable.

So I end up hurting people. And I don’t mean to, but I do. And now I’ve made my own bed because I think I’m going to be killed over it. It’s that or live in constant fear, the rest of my life.

I can’t even type this out without knowing that somebody can see this. And I can’t do anything about it. Like I am being watched all the time, I don’t have any privacy and I don’t know for how long.

And I can’t fix it? What could I do? I can’t really. I can vanish, I can die. I think that’s the inevitable conclusion. It’s the prewritten ending, I don’t get a say in my own story. Sort of, because it’s my fault that I’ll die.

I am so, so tired. Bone tired. I am exhausted like I’ve never felt exhausted, it’s like every atom or something just feels complete overwhelm to the point where it feels like a constant heart attack. And I don’t know if I have made people feel exactly like that, or close, but I I probably have. And it is truly awful, and I can’t fix it.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I think it’s a toss up between killing me or keeping me alive to suffer more and more. But it honestly feels like my heart is going to give out. I can’t explain it. I feel like I’m on another plane of existence with the terror. And it’s satisfying I feel that way, for them.

I don’t actually hate whoever’s doing this (I mean, I think I know who. Could be wrong, could be someone else. I don’t know. I live with that uncertainty. That’s part of the fear). But I’ve said I’ll roll over and be killed. When will it be enough? I don’t think there’s ever enough punishment. Everything’s gone. It was anyway but I can’t start over. This was that, I can’t even live in a house or go back to school. I can’t even live in the state, or probably under my own name, if I wanted to live.

I don’t. I really don’t. Desperately. Good god. I am buried under the weight of my shame and my own guilt. I am buried under the weight of fear and exhaustion. My life ended so long ago. I don’t know how to just..I can’t fix it. I can’t do more than be sorry. I can’t do more than go to therapy, again. Unless i torture myself. But I have. I have done that. They’ve done that. What’s next? I know I’m a terrible person.

I can’t ever feel safe again. Trusting a human being is not…a thing. And I don’t deserve to, like I can’t exist around other people. That doesn’t leave me options, does it? Like it truly leaves me no options. Zero. What could I possibly do?

And I can’t ask, I can’t beg because there will never be truth, and the more I am absolutely petrified the better this is. So it’s never going to end. I did feel hope once, but I’ve come to realise that yes, fine, I didn’t deserve to feel hope. I did not deserve to try, I didn’t deserve to live. Never. I just deserved to end, for what I’ve done to people. Maybe if I post all the things I did online, that will help? Publicly? But at the same time no because it will drag them back into it and that hurts them. I can’t even be good to torture like this though. I cannot do anything. I already feel dead. I’ve stopped feeling real anymore because like this is so bizarre but also so overwhelming that it just…like I can’t be living. I think I died, sometime, and I’m in hell, maybe? I don’t even believe in hell.

The worst part of that too is that is exactly what is meant to happen, because if I am feeling this much fear and whatever then it means I’m delusional and wrong too. So even if I had more than a tiny whatever of self esteem (if that) then I can’t say anything, I can’t get away, because I’m unbelievable. I have no credibility.

I lost all interest in life. I am afraid of horror films now. There’s one on tv and it’s making me feel worse. I don’t care about anything I once did anymore. I have the faintest flicker of interest but it goes so quickly and now I think they’re all really gone.

I’m simply not there anymore. Yesterday I felt a level of fear I’ve never experienced before. And the thought to just bash my own skull in is so nice. So nice. But I don’t know if my body will let me. And I don’t want to with my mother here right now. I think there’s going to be a point very soon where I really do lose touch with reality or something. I don’t know when but it’s just..I have no idea. Other than dying what is the way out? How can I escape and how can I be sorry enough without dying? What the fuck do I do now

I have rambled but I want to scream

[onlyswan]

summary: “you can lean me. you can always lean on me.”

genre: established relationship, fluff

warnings: mention of skipping meals (not on purpose) and mental struggles due of the pandemic

word count: 1.6k

note: struggling so bad with online classes so i’m using my rare free time to complain n cry about online classes :DD

—

jungkook comes out of the bathroom with only his boxers on after blowdrying his hair, excited to finally get some well deserved rest and end the day with you in his arms. however, his face drops when he is greeted by your back against him.

“babe, i thought we were getting ready for bed?” he pouts, approaching your slouched figure on the desk. the sounds of your fast fingers typing away on the keyboard is oddly satisfying, but it’s past midnight on a tuesday and you both need to wake up early.

“what? yeah- yeah, we are. let me just finish this real quick. an idea popped in my head while i was putting on lotion.” you respond absentmindedly, afraid to lose your train of thought.

this essay has been a big problem for the past few days. the words just aren’t coming to you and it’s very frustrating. you can’t miss this chance of finally making progress. or else you will cry. and throw things out the window. and you live pretty far up high so nothing will survive the fall.

your boyfriend sighs, leaning his chin on your shoulder as he watches the word count go up and down and up up up. he knows you won’t be able to sleep properly if you don’t finish your task anyway. your sudden bursts of inspiration should never be interrupted. learned that the hard way.

“you work so hard, baby. i’m so proud of you.” he says quietly in your ear, planting a sweet kiss on your cheek.

you pause, swallowing thickly. you force a smile and mutter a small thanks before resuming with your work. you don’t see the frown that forms on his lips. he wraps his arms around your waist which makes typing require a little more effort, but you don’t have it in your heart to shoo him away.

jungkook requires a lot of love and attention. who are you to deny your boyfriend of that? besides, you needed it anyway. you don’t even know how you’ve been getting through each day. you’re swamped with works that you’ve been unintentionally skipping meals and getting inadequate amount of sleep. you try to get everything done as early as possible because missing a deadline is your biggest fear. you can’t afford the deduction especially if your work is already ass to begin with. done is better than perfect. that’s what you tell yourself these days. it helps. most times.

it’s been more than a year since the pandemic started and the time before that started to become a blur to you, but you can almost swear that you don’t remember face-to-face classes being half as difficult as this. you still had a life outside of school. you think. you managed your time better and you made sure you could do the things you enjoyed. most of those things you’re not allowed to do anymore, though. unfortunately, what kept your will to live mostly consisted of lots and lots of people.

you don’t absorb information over online discussions very well. it doesn’t feel right. there’s no connection. speaking into your classmates’ ears doesn’t sound fun either. to add to that, you’re not really close with anyone. you’ll just have to make it through the school year all on your own somehow. whatever it takes . . . our best, that’s all we can really do in life, right?

your hands drop on the sides of your keyboard in exhaustion. “jungkook,” you croak out. “i’m so tired.”

his heart drops to his stomach at the sound of your voice breaking. “i figured. your shoulders are so tense.” he presses kisses all over the exposed skin of your shoulder. “it’s okay, baby. you can lean on me.”

you melt into the warmth of his body as you finally give up on school works. you’ve done your best today. you need to preserve the remaining parts of yourself (or so you hope there still are) so you can fight again tomorrow. “you can always lean on me.”

he spins your chair around to face him before crouching down on your level, cupping your face with his hands. “you’re overworking yourself. i’m getting so worried. you should take care of yourself more, hmm?”

“sorry. it’s like a requirement to graduate. i won’t make it unless i give it everything i got.” you avoid his eyes, feeling tears forming in your own. “everything just sucks and it feels like if i can’t do this then what the fuck is there that i can do? and most of the time i don’t know what i’m doing anymore. i feel like the dumbest person in the room.”

you pause and laugh dryly. “well, virtual classroom.”

“that’s not true at all! you got accepted by the university because they know you are capable of great things. and i was amazed just now watching you work on your essay because the flow is smooth and your words demand attention and piques curiosity. i’ve never found that topic interesting but now i understand better why you chose this track.” he smiles at you sweetly, wiping away the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

you look at him as if he filled the oceans with only his hands and painted the clouds that are floating in the sky and it makes butterflies errupt in his chest.

“you are doing amazing, okay? and i’m so proud of you. but at the same time, i don’t want you to think that this is all there is to life now. i know the world outside is bleak, but there are still things we can do. you don’t have to be seated here suffering physically and mentally every second of everyday. we can learn how to play an instrument, how to bake or knit. we can spend a whole day learning all the pretty ways how to fold table napkins or we can repaint all the walls in our apartment. they might be silly or simple things, but we can make it fun and meaningful. don’t you think?”

you know he’s been having a hard time, too. you’ve been a witness of that. the pandemic took away many things from all of us, after all. performing means the absolute world to him. he looks the happiest when he is on stage. you know those galaxies in his eyes all too well. however, he still chooses to look at life with a positive mindset. that spring comes after winter ends. he greets you warmly every morning and you call him sunshine.

you smile genuinely for the first time in days. jungkook thinks you look cute, with your puffy eyes and bare face. “those things do sound nice. except the walls part. that just sounds tiring. do you even realize how big your apartment is?”

“okay, maybe just one room. i was trying to sound spontaneous!” he laughs, slapping his forehead in embarrassment. “and it’s our apartment.”

“sorry, sir. our apartment.” you hum in agreement. you pull his hand away and force him to come closer to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. “save my work then turn it off, please. then carry me to bed.” you nuzzle your face on his skin sleepily, seeking physical comfort more than anything. “you always smell nice.”

he does as you said, shutting down your laptop and scooping you in his arms. “you’re always all up on me one way or another so i always need to smell nice, too.”

“true and false. you just like smelling nice, because you have a cute sensitive nose.” you squeeze his nose playfully, earning the adorable scrunch you adore.

“true. but i also like smelling nice for you now.”

you avoid laying down because it makes you want to just stay in bed and skip classes, so you almost burst into tears again when your back hit the soft mattress. one of the best feelings in the world. then your boyfriend rolls over you onto his side of the bed.

“ouch! you are such a kid.” you whine about the three seconds you were unable to breathe because of his weight crushing you.

“you love me anyway.” he grins. he stretches out his arm and you lay your head over his biceps almost on instinct. he also puts his leg as far up your waist and basically hugs on you like a koala does on a tree. you might joke around about it every now and then, but in all honesty, he makes you feel safe and protected.

“i do love you so much. you keep me happy and sane and strong.” jungkook leans down and gives you an eskimo kiss, “and you are the same to me.” before giving you a proper kiss on the lips at last. your fingers thread through his hair and only him consume your thoughts and senses. your body feels light and heavy at the same time. he tastes so sweet and you’re addicted. you both pull away with hooded eyes and deprived lungs gasping for air.

“babe, you know how when you watch a movie and you get this sudden surge of inspiration to write lyrics rush through you because it got you in your feelings?” you ask out of the blue as if you didn’t just had a hot makeout sesh.

“yeah?” he hazily responds, hands carressing your waist under your night dress.

“we should watch a movie tomorrow!”

“oh?” he raises an eyebrow. “that sounds nice-”

“except it’s a documentary!”

“wha-”

“and instead of a song we’ll write a reflection paper together! like a collab. i can’t add you to the credits though. i will get in trouble.”

he opens and closes his mouth like a fish, looking at you dumbfounded. “if you fail it’s not my fault.”

“then i drop out. just get me a job at hybe, will you? like a water girl, perhaps? or i can dogsit yeontan or holly?”

—

note: this is jus me typing down whatever comes into mind ^_^ i am very tired but i also am thinking of jungkook i jus had to okay not proofread i’m dozing off zzzz