#I honestly don’t think I’m ready for holiday season

[kkami-writes]

Black Blood  – Chapter One. cw. written in third person, other chapters will be second person unless otherwise specified wc. 1.1k (1,118)

October 31, 2020 “Honestly, I think this is the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Hyunjin mumbles out, mostly to himself but his other members are quick to shush him and he goes back to curling himself into a ball. He wonders briefly why he was even here in the first place. 

Him, along with Jisung and Jeongin, were currently sitting in Felix’s room, surrounded by a shit ton of candles that added to the ambience but didn’t provide much light to the dark room. Hyunjin vaguely wondered where Felix had gotten his hands on this many candles, but it was the least of his worries. The two youngest were preoccupied with a ouija board that was laid on top of what he assumed was supposed to be a pentagram; their hands settled on the planchette, moving it across the board in nonsensical circles. 

It was, of course, Felix’s idea to try ‘communicating with the spirits’, seeing as it was halloween of all days and he had insisted that you were supposed to do stupid stuff like this on the spooky holiday. Everyone else had blatantly refused though, leaving just the four of them huddled on the floor. Jisung sat off to the side, a bit further than the others as he clutched a container of salt to his chest. 

‘For protection, duh,’ was his simple response when they had asked him what he brought the seasoning for. No more questions had been asked after that. 

Outside a storm raged on, rain beating loudly against the windows of the dorm, adding to the creepy atmosphere they had set for themselves. Lightning could be heard in the distance, rumbling softly. 

Hyunjin on the other hand, was just about done with his members' shenanigans. He was more than ready to call it a night and crawl into his nice warm bed that was practically calling his name. It was just about to strike midnight and nothing even remotely interesting had happened in the last ten minutes. How much longer were they gonna keep trying? 

Felix and Jeongin on the other hand were still visibly excited, the former starting to chant something in what Hyunjin supposed was to be latin, though being incredibly butchered by the deep voiced aussie. At this, he’s officially done. Hyunjin could only handle so much from them.

“You guys are crazy, I’m out,” He says with a sigh, moving to stand up and leave. 

It’s at this moment though that lightning strikes nearby, resulting in a loud echoing boom that feels like it shakes the entire dorm. All of them scream loudly, definitely waking up their neighbors (who have already filed plenty of noise complaints against the group). Jisung practically flings the salt out of his hands, effectively sprinkling it all over the carpet as he moves to cling onto Jeongin. 

The candles suddenly blow out and they’re screaming again - this time Felix launching himself into Hyunjin’s chest, the latter eagerly wrapping his arms around the lithe boy for any source of comfort. An almost eerie silence overtakes them as they sit in the darkness for a few minutes, no one daring to utter a single sound. 

“Can we be done now? I think my heart is about to give up,” It’s Jisung that breaks the silence, a slight whine to his voice as it cracks from the fear that’s stuck in his throat.

“Aw, don’t you wanna have some more fun?” A new voice pipes up, this one distinctly female and that was definitely not here before. The boys are screaming for a third time, all of them scrambling up in an attempt to get away from this intruder that sounded far too close to them. The disembodied voice laughs at their fright, the sound is light and sultry, almost borderline seductive. 

“Jeez you guys are loud. Calm down. Here, let me get the lights,” At this, all the candles flicker back to life, the boys watching with wide eyes. All four of them had ended up huddled together, pressed into the corner of the room and clinging to each other rather desperately. 

Hyunjin blinks in disbelief at the sight before him. In the middle of the room, laid on top of the makeshift pentagram and ouija board is a woman. The position she’s in is seductive, one leg fully extended and the other propped up at an angle with  a hand on her hip while the other holds her head up. Clad in black lingerie, there’s a corset wrapped around her waist that nicely accentuates her curves with a garter belt that holds up sheer thigh highs. To top everything off, her black stiletto shoes are definitely at least 3 or 4 inches and could probably kill a man. 

Hyunjin finds it rather hard to swallow down the lump in his now very dry throat. 

The thing that stands out the most are the bright red horns on top of her head, they’re slightly curved inwards and they match the eerie color of her eyes that are currently glowing and piercing through the four boys. To top everything off, she’s also got a tail, it’s pointed at the end and currently in the air, swirling around as if it was a snake hunting for its prey. 

Silence follows for a few minutes, none of the boys really know what to say, their minds coming up blank in the impossible situation before them. The girl is simply studying them closely, not bothering to move from her comfortable spot on the floor. They don’t get the chance to say anything before the door to Felix’s room is being slammed open, the other members piling in. 

“Hey, we heard you screaming? Is everything ok?” Chan asks the four boys in the corner, not even noticing the biggest problem in the middle of the room as he goes into leader mode. The other three have definitely noticed the new person in the room, who had definitely not been there before. 

“Hyung,” Minho’s nudging into Chan’s side, his eyes glued onto the half-naked girl whom his leader hasn’t even seen. 

“Oh my god what,” Chan starts as he turns towards Minho, whose gaze is somewhere else and he lets himself follow the other’s line of sight. He can’t see too well in the barely lit room so he quickly flips the light switch on.

He falters at the figure he can now clearly see, she’s still laid out on the floor, seemingly content just watching the events fold before her. But once she notices that Chan’s eyes have landed on her, she’s sending him a cheeky grin and a small wave - her sharp canines not going unnoticed by the eight. 

“Well hello there,”

[mapileonxputellas]

Best Christmas Present (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Loved this Christmas one! Please send in anymore Christmas ideas... Requests 1, 2 and 3. 3k words x

“Final question for Y/N before we move onto Alexia.”

The joys of being the vice-captain of Barcelona meant joining Alexia for the press conference before the final game of the year. It felt like the middle of the night as you pulled up at the training session, hours before the training session all to face the questions of the media.

Having Alexia with you made it bearable, the two of you having been in a relationship for over four years now. The 7am wake up didn’t feel too bad when you were greeted with the love of your life in your shared home with Nala asleep at your feet.

“Y/N, how would you assess the season so far and what plans have you got for the Christmas break?”

A seemingly meaningless question to probably everyone in the room but one that brought up a touchy subject for yourself.

“In terms of the season so far I am pleased with both my own performance and the team overall but we know we cannot rest on that going into the new year. We’re more determined than ever to keep that unbeaten record in the league and reach the Champions League final again. We miss Alexia and others on the pitch at times but we’re trying to find alternative ways to break teams down effectively.” You answered, feeling your heart almost beat out of your chest as you thought about the second part of your answer. “I’m going to take the Christmas break to rest up and recharge ready for the new year in Spain.”

Out of all the things you loved about being Australian, the distance between there and your now home in Spain was not one of them. Christmas had never been an issue before, with the long break in the league you usually had time to travel there and back but this year the league structure meant that wouldn’t be possible and your parents’ health problems meant they couldn’t make the reverse journey.

“So you’re not travelling to Australia?”

“Sadly not.”

A simple answer but saying it out loud every time made it more real for you. Feeling a little nudge of your feat you slightly turned your head to find Alexia almost assessing you, making sure you weren’t going to breakdown so you sent her a weak smile accompanied by your blurry eyes.

Her smile immediately dropped noticing your mood and slightly scooted her chair over so her hand could grasp your own and draw patterns on your hand to calm you down.

The rest of the press conference was a blur for you, just focusing on the hand connected to your own and vaguely listening to Alexia. All you could think about was the new-found reality that you would be celebrating Christmas alone this year. This was your favourite holiday and it wouldn’t be the same on your own with no-one to celebrate with. This time the final question was a blessing as you quickly thanked the media before shuffling out of your seat.

You could feel Alexia’s eyes on you as you walked out the door but you didn’t have any time to talk about what had happened as you were thrust into a full changing room ready for the training session.

“Here come the love birds.” Claudia shouted as you entered. Trying to distract yourself you went straight over to your cubby between Ana and Jana. “Can’t even keep your hands off each other for twenty minutes.”

“Leave them alone.” Ana defended you. “They’re just in love.”

“What are you talking about anyway?” You questioned, quickly trying to change into the training gear.

“Let’s just say you weren’t as subtle as you thought you were.” Jana teased as you sat down. The young girl had spent a lot of time with both you and Alexia and often referred to you as her team mum.

“What?”

“Alexia getting handsy.” Mapi interrupted her. “You should see twitter honestly it’s like you’ve got married never mind just held hands in a press conference.”

“I thought it was cute.” Ingrid added. “Don’t listen to them.”

“I always preferred your girlfriend Mapi.”

“Right back at ya.”

Just as you finished tying your boot laces a hand came and rested on your knee before your girlfriend came into your vision, kneeling down in front of you. Her glances around the room gave away that she was waiting for the room to clear before she spoke.

“Are you ok?” She whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me….”

“Can we do this later? Please.” You almost begged, not wanting to get upset and then have to go out into the cold.

“Promise you’ll talk to me later.”

“I promise.” You replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you for back there.”

“Anything for you.”

….

You avoided the conversation for as long as you possible could by busying yourself around other people. Offering to give Jana a lift home who lived round the corner from you both, taking the longest shower possible and busying yourself with making tea before you sat down together for dinner, ready to face the music.

The silence was overwhelming as you both sat down, twirling the pasta round your fork as you avoided eye contact. Slowly making your way through the meal.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Alexia broke the silence.

“It’s complicated Alexia.”

“What’s complicated for me is the fact that you didn’t want to tell me.”

“There’s nothing you can do though, your family is here and mine’s not.” You wiped away the sole tear that was slowly trickling down your face. “I thought they were going to come here but then with their latest problems the health insurance wouldn’t cover them. But it’s fine, I’ve got everything I need here and we can celebrate together the day after.”

This time though it was Alexia who was confused. “What?”

“It’s fine at least you’ll get two Christmases.”

“Babe take a step back, I’m not letting you spend Christmas day alone.”

“I mean what other choice do I have?”

“Spend it with us.” She reached over to grab your hand. “My mum always cooks enough for the whole village and she loves you.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s your family Ale.”

Well and truly before this year you’d never even had the option of celebrating Christmas together with the distance between you all. “They’re your family too and before you ask whether they’d be OK with it, my mum will be just worried the whole day if she knows you’re spending the day alone.”

“I feel like I’d be intruding.”

“I promise you wouldn’t be, this past year you’ve been a rock to me and my family and we owe you this at least.”

“You don’t owe me anything Ale.”

“I do, you gave up so much of your time watching me playing football, all those nights you stayed with me in hospital and then you’ve been the brunt of all my mood swings.”

“I did it because I love you.”

“And I love you so let me do this for you now.” Ale slipped out of her seat before gently sitting on your lap. “You know one day we’ll have both our families together, little ones running around and we won’t be the guests anymore. Consider this the first step in that, I don’t want to spend Christmas apart from you any longer, I’ve done that for four years and that’s long enough.”

“You’re a good persuader Miss Putellas.” She was getting to you and the smirk on her face said she knew that as her fingers gently dragged back and forth on your exposed collar bone.

“Please, I won’t be able to celebrate if I know you’re here all alone.”

“I’m calling your mum tomorrow and double checking this is alright with her.”

“Is that a yes?”

Reaching up you gently grabbed her chin to draw your eyes together. “Yes Ale, I’d love to spend Christmas with you.” The only way to seal the deal was with a kiss which you almost immediately pulled away from as a thought came into your head. “I need a full list of who will be there so I can add them to the Christmas present list.”

“Babe I’ve already started just putting both our names on them.”

“Really?”

“Well the shit ones I just put your names on.”

“Very funny.”

Moments like these cemented how much you loved the woman on your lap, throughout all the moments her newfound fame had given her she was still your Ale. As your lips gently caressed each other’s you thought of the perfect way to thank her for all of this to truly show how much you loved her and thankfully you knew exactly how you could do that.

….

Christmas with the Putellas family was definitely an experience. You knew how much Eli loved being a host and that showed on Christmas day.

From the beginning you were made to feel just as much a part of the family as Alba and Alexia: from the stocking embroidered with your name on to the heap of presents for you. It almost made you emotional thinking about the family that you had gained from your love for the Spaniard.

The day however only grew from there with family member after family member being welcomed into the house. Even though you had met everyone before it was still quite overwhelming so you tried to help Eli as much as possible in the kitchen. Cooking was definitely your other passion away from football and it helped you to forget about all the craziness going in the other room.

“How is my favourite daughter finding today?” Eli asked as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder before dropping down into a whisper. “Have you got a plan yet?”

Before you could even answer though another voice piped in. “Wow mama you could at least pretend not to have favourites.”

You loved Alba like a sister and you knew she was only joking, further shown as she joined you in a group hug. “Alba is just jealous.”

“No me and Alexia always knew you was the favourite. Alexia sent me to get you by the way, we’re playing games with the children.”

“Tell her I’m helping mama.”

“No you go.” Eli almost pushed you out, giving you her best authoritative look. “You’ve helped me more than enough today.”

“I’ll be back.” You promised.

The living room was far from the quiet serenity of the kitchen, both the sofas were filled with extended family, children were scattered across the carpet playing all sorts of different games and you found your girlfriend on the armchair trying to work out the latest game they wanted to play. You couldn’t help but watch as she tried to answer the questions of her young cousins all whilst looking incredible in the black blazer set she’d settled on, a stark contrast to your red dress. Your thoughts were interrupted though as Alba bumped your shoulder knocking you out of the daydream.

“Having a bit of trouble there.” You teased taking a seat on the arm of the chair. “These are supposed to be for children you know.”

“Shut up.” With one arm still holding onto the instructions the other tugged your waist causing you to slide down the arm of the chair onto her lap. You couldn’t help but press a kiss to the top of her head as she still tried to wrap her mind around the game.

“How about I do the next game?” You announced getting the attention of all the kids. “Count to twenty and I’ll be back.”

Scrambling to go to your backs you left in Alexia’s old room you found the parcel in your overnight bag ready for this exact scenario. Coming empty handed was never an option for you.

“Here it is.” You announced getting everyone’s attention. “Who wants to play pass the parcel?”

Your suggestion was met with a round of cheers as everyone got into a circle to include all the adults on the sofas. Taking a seat on the floor you were ready to start when one of Alexia’s cousins, Ana, sat down on your lap. Your arms instantly wrapped around the young girl as you started the music, each time letting the girl pass the parcel on to Alexia.

“Why did you not sit with me?” Alexia asked Ana dangling her hand over the chair to tickle the girl, pouting to feign her hurt.  

“Want Auntie Y/N.” Even just her calling you Auntie made your heart skip a beat, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to now call these people your family.

“Yeah Auntie Ale.” You teased sticking your tongue out.

“She’s my favourite too.” Ale admitted to the little girl, faking a whisper. “Don’t tell her than though.”

“Secret.” The little girl whispered, thinking this was a real secret even though you could obviously hear both of them.

“Yeah keep it a secret.”

“What are you two talking about?” You asked gaining the attention of Ana who simply curled back into your lap.

“Nothing.” She answered. “Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alexia couldn’t help but just look the at the two of you together. Your attention split between a conversation with her uncle and trying to soothe the girl in your lap.

“You’re so whipped.” Alba whispered teasingly into her sister’s ear. “Stop staring.”

“Shut up Alba.”

…..

Your moment didn’t come till after the meal had finished and everyone was still sat around talking. Alexia was curled up on the chair next to you, both of your hands intertwined on your lap as you mixed with everyone. But the box in your bag upstairs could no longer be ignored and now felt like the moment.

“I’m just nipping to the bathroom,” You whispered to Ale before slipping out the room.

Quickly refreshing yourself in the bathroom before retrieving the little box hidden in your overnight bag. You’ve played in front of nearly one hundred thousand people in your career but this is the most nervous you’ve felt before.

You couldn’t stop your hands from shaking as you slowly made your way into the dining room again. Stopping behind Ale’s chair your hands rested on her shoulders as you cleared your throat to gain the attention of the room, all eyes suddenly focused on you.

“Sorry for interrupting all your conversations but I just wanted to say something in front of you all. Firstly I want to thank you for today, you’ve all welcomed me into your family and took me in as one of your own. To Eli, thank you for being an amazing host and for the amazing food.”

“Which you helped with.” She pointed out. “We’ve all loved having you here, plus Ale would have spent the whole day being miserable without you.”

“Whining even more than usual.” Alba teased her sister.

“As you all know I’ve been with Ale for more than four years now and they’ve been the best of my life.” You started, Alexia turning to face you. “We’ve been through more struggles than anyone will know, with injuries and the pressures of being who we are but we’ve always had each other and I know I wouldn’t have come this far without you by my side.”

“What’s all this for?” Alexia asked.

You ignored her question to continue. “You’re my best friend. I love everything about you even when you keep me awake snoring at night or when you burn my toast in the morning. You’re always the first to offer to give me a massage after a match, you always remember my green tea in the morning but more than that you make me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt before.”

The realisation of what was slowly happening was dawning on Alexia as tears streamed down her face.

“I’d love nothing more than to have the rest of my life to continue to show you how much you mean to me and stand by your side to share every moment together.” You said, slowly getting down on one knee, opening the box to reveal the ring you’d chosen. “So Alexia Putellas Segura, will you do me the greatest honour and be my wife?”

“Yes, yes of course I will.” Immediately shooting out of her chair she wasted no time in gathering you in her arms, spinning you around in the air. “I love you so much.” She whispered, planting you back down on the floor to kiss you.

“I love you too. I hope you like the ring.”

“It’s perfect. Everything you choose is perfect.” Taking the simple but elegant diamond ring in your hand you slid it onto her finger like a glove.

It’s only then that you realise you’re not alone in the room, both of your eyes immediately turning to Eli and Alba. Tears uncontrollable streaming down their faces as they gathered you in a group hug.

“I’m so happy for you both.” Eli whispered, kissing both of your heads. “No-one deserves this more than you two.”

“You’re both made for each other.” Alba added, first hugging you as Eli took Alexia in her arms. “That ring as well, wow.”

“You should thank Eli for that as well.” You admitted as you swapped to get your hug from Eli. “I can’t take all the credit for that.”

“You knew?”  Alexia turned to the both of you.

“Y/N came to me a few months ago and asked for my permission which I of course gave her. I didn’t know she as planning on doing it tonight though.”

“It just felt right.” You admitted. “All your family here and we both love Christmas. Of course I’d love to have met your father and ask him but I felt this was only right.”

That again set Alexia off as the tears started again. “I love you.”

“I love you too my fiancée.” Bringing her into your arms the cheers started as you sealed it with another kiss. “Forever.”

“Forever with you.”

[daughterofcain-67]

𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝑜 ℒ𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓈

(Alec McDowell x Female Reader)

𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝: Hi!! If you're still taking the Christmas requests, could I please ask for: Alec and "You didn't really think I would let you spend Christmas alone, did you?" ❤️ (Anonymous)

Hello love! Thank you so much for the request. I thought this was such a sweet idea and I’m so glad you asked me to write this! I hope you enjoy ❤️

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You’re beginning to grow accustomed to doing things by yourself now that you’ve moved away from family, but your friends at Jam Pony seem to forget that Christmases after moving to a brand new area can often result in being alone during the holiday season… and Alec won’t stand for it.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: platonic Alec but potential to be a romantic interest. Other than that, it’s just some fluffy Alec content..

This Christmas was not at all what you expected it to be.

You were used to spending time with your family every year and sharing so many memorable moments with them. You remembered going with your mother to the walkway of lights, or helping your dad untangle the Christmas lights so he could hand them on the outside of the house. You remembered making gingerbread houses with your family and watching Christmas movies.

You knew you were going to miss those moments, but of course the past was in the past and now you’ve found yourself here in Seattle after a rather significant and unfortunate falling out with your family. A long story you preferred not to relive or talk about.

You had moved here three months ago and landed a job at the delivery service, Jam Pony.

You didn’t mind working here, it made paying bills at least somewhat easier and you were starting to make some friends. Max and Original Cindy took you under their wings at work and they showed you around the workplace.

Then there was Alec.

You didn’t know much about him since all you could see were things on the outside. From what you could tell, he was sarcastic, a smart mouth, as stubborn as Max, a little cocky, all about fast money since you’ve seen him and Sketchy playing poker or making bets, but he seemed to have some sort of fun side and a lot of people seemed to like him.

You two talked every once in a while but you’ve never had deep conversations with the guy. The both of you were friendly with each other, and if you were in a bit of a mood you’d jokingly play along whenever he would playfully flirt with you like he would do with the other girls at work. But there wasn’t really anything concrete between the two of you.

But anyway…

Your story was taking place on Christmas Eve.

Normal was having everyone work their typical shifts on Christmas Eve since they would all have Christmas Day off. But honestly, with the way your Christmas would be looking this year, you kind of wish that you were working. On the flipped side you supposed you could be glad that you could sleep in.

“Hey, Y/N! You look drained, you feeling okay?” Original Cindy asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah I’m good. Just ready for the holidays to be over so everything can go back to normal.” You laughed and Cindy smiled a little.

“I hear that. The rush can be a little too chaotic and the traffic sucks! But don’t worry. Just a couple more weeks then the new year will come around. But enjoy the Christmas cheer while it’s here! It doesn’t last long after all.” She reminded you and you grinned softly.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Although for you, it would be a situation easier said than done.

“Alright everybody! Daddy’s home!” You heard an all to familiar voice ring out, causing you to smile a little and roll your eyes before Max spoke.

“There’s Alec.” Cindy laughed and turned around while you were busy decoding the lock on your locker so you couple put your belongings inside.

“Really, Alec? Can’t you come to work and not be obnoxious with your entrance like any normal person?” Max asked like a frustrated older sister.

“Awe come on, if I wasn’t obnoxious at least some of the time then how else could I annoy you?” The sarcasm in Alec’s voice was pretty much expected at this point. Alec wouldn’t be Alec without it right?

“You wouldn’t. And that’s the beauty of it.” She retorted.

“Awe, Max! Don’t be so sour! It’s Christmas!” You could hear another voice call out. It was none other than Sketchy.

You grabbed what you needed and saw that the whole group seemed to be congregated at yours, Max and Cindy’s locker. It was pretty typical at this point but you didn’t mind.

“Well what are you guys doing tonight? I might do some last minute shopping after work. I’ve got some family coming into town tomorrow morning. Anyone want to come with?” Sketchy asked.

“Sure, I’ll go with you! I’ve gotta get some food for the house anyway since I’ve got people visiting and we all know where Max is gonna be.” Cindy smirked and nudged Max’s side, making the other girl roll her eyes and cross her arms defensively.

“Logan want’s me to meet his parents, that’s all. It’s no big deal.” She said in a matter-of-fact sort of tone.

“Well hey, it’s a positive thing that he wants you to go meet his family members. You did kind of sign up for this kind of thing when you started dating the guy. Of course this was going to come up.” You reminded, putting your hands in the pockets of your jeans.

“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, what are you gonna be doing, Y/N?” Max inquired.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you aren’t going home for the holidays.” Sketchy said since they all knew you moved here and your family was out of state.

“With the way Normal’s paying us? Yeah - I’m lucky if I’ll be able to visit early next year. It’s only been three months so it’ll be fine. I can always give them a phone call.” Which you wouldn’t be doing.

“Wait, you’re spending the night alone?” You could pick up a hint of shock in her voice which was a little rare for her.

“Eh, I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll go to the bar or something. You guys act like it’s not a normal thing for people to spend Christmas alone sometimes. Especially when they’ve just moved to a new place. It’s more normal than you think, guys.” You laughed before you walked away from the group to start work. After all, you had a job to do and you didn’t exactly want Normal on your back.

Alec watched you walk off and his gaze lingered on you for a second.

He knew what it was like to spend Christmas alone. The first Christmas he had when he got out of Manticore was a bit rough. He understood what you were saying about it being normal for new people to have lonely Christmases. But that didn’t mean those first lonely Christmases didn’t suck. They do.

“I doubt she’ll go to a bar. She doesn’t seem the type. Unless she’s playing pool or something.” Sketchy said.

“If she doesn’t seem the type that goes to the bar, what makes you think she’s the type to play pool?” Alec asked when he shifted his attention somewhere else.

“Even I have to say he’s got a bit of a point.” Max shrugged.

“Well you never know. I mean we’ve only just met her. And we haven’t hung out with her after work. So maybe she does go to the bar and she’s one of those misleading book cover types.” Sketchy said.

“Misleading book cover type?” Cindy tilted her head in confusion.

“Yeah! You know.. Things not being all they seem, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, a person may be innocent but they’re into things you don’t expect. Ya know, like Ted Bundy. I mean the guy was going to law school and everybody that knew him said he was a good guy but they didn’t know he was a serial killer.” Sketchy rambled and Alec chuckled.

“I don’t think Y/N is a serial killer, buddy.” He said.

“Well I know that, but you get what I’m sayin.” Sketchy said and Alec chuckled before he nodded a little.

“Yeah yeah, Sketch. We get what you mean. Maybe she’ll get lucky if she goes to the bar.” Original Cindy smirked and Alec watched Max roll her eyes and smirk.

“Hey! Your day off is tomorrow! Get to work! We’ve got a lot of packages and mail to send off!” Normal hollered at the group and Alec groaned a little.

“Calm down, Normal. We’ll get to work.” Max said and with that, the group dispersed so they could get to their routes.

Still, Alec couldn’t help but wonder about you. There was no way you’d actually head out to the bar. Not with the amount of lunatics on the road this time of year and any of them could be drunk because they were alone too. He wasn’t going to let you take that risk if he could help it.

The day was finally over and you’ve said your goodbyes to whatever work-friends you managed to see that were still at Jam Pony before you clocked out for the day. You were glad the day was finally over so you could just go home and get some sleep. Today felt much longer than the average day, maybe because it was Christmas Eve so everyone was in such a big rush, easily irritated because they decided to wait until the last minute, the list could go on.

Once you finally arrived at your apartment, you took a long shower to relax your muscles. Then you got dressed in some warm pajamas, for that night it was a black sweatshirt with a snowman on it and some red and black plaid pajama pants along with some fuzzy socks so your toes wouldn’t freeze. You were letting your hair air dry as you sat down on the couch.

You grabbed the remote for your tv so you could watch some movies. You noticed that several Christmas classics were playing that night so you ended up settling for A Christmas Story. Sure it was an old movie, like really old, but it was a good one nonetheless. Things seemed so much simpler back in the day.

While you were watching the movie, you started getting hungry so you got up as the beginning of the movie was starting so you weren’t necessarily missing a lot. Plus you had seen this movie several times so you knew what was going to happen anyways. You walked into the kitchen and started looking through your cabinets, trying to think of what exactly you were in the mood for.

For whatever reason, you decided to make some pasta. It was simple enough. You had some Alfredo instead of the regular spaghetti sauce so you supposed it would have to do. You started boiling the water and broke out one of those boxes of garlic bread that was technically already made and just needed to be heated up.

While the movie was playing, you heard a knock on your door.

“Who the Hell would that be?” You asked, of course to no one in particular since you were the only one in the apartment.

Despite the fact that company was the last thing you expected for that night, you walked over to the door and opened it up. That was when you saw a familiar coworker standing there.

“Alec? What are you doing here?” You asked him. Honestly, you were surprised that he was at your doorstep instead of at some sort of strip club finding company.

“I was bored. Didn’t have people over at the house either, strip club was too crowded.” Alec said, but a part of you wondered if that was completely true.

“So you pick my place to crash?” You chuckled but then you moved out of the way so he could come in, “If you’re hungry I’m making some Alfredo and I’ve got some garlic bread in the oven.”

“Oh so that’s what smells so good from outside.”

You grinned at the compliment even though it was just a simple sort of meal. Once Alec came inside the apartment, you shut the door behind him and told him to make himself at home.

Alec looked around the apartment since he had never actually been inside here before. He noticed the simplicity of your apartment, seeing the brown couch that had some throw blankets folded on the back of it. He saw that you did have some Christmas lights hung up around the entertainment center where your tv was with your dvds. He also noticed your cute little four foot tree that had some simple yet colorful ornaments on it and a little tree skirt.

“Nice little place you’ve got here.” He commented since the living room was really the only thing he was seeing at the moment.

“Oh, well thanks. At some point I might get some other chairs to put here in the living room in the event people like Max or Original Cindy come over. Or whatever other friends I’ll make along the way.” He heard you explain and he grinned a little.

“Speaking of other friends… how exactly did you know where I live?” You asked and Alec lifted a brow before he shrugged a little then he rubbed the back of his neck.

The truth was, he followed you home after work because he was curious to see if you were actually going to a bar or if you would head straight home instead. He just waited a while so it wouldn’t be suspicious if he knocked on your door just as soon as you got home yourself.

“Oh, well I just asked Max where you lived is all.” He replied.

“Max told you? Willingly?” He heard the amusement in your voice.

“I paged her. Maybe she was with either Logan or Original Cindy. Somebody that makes her a little less obnoxious.” Alec lied, but luckily for him, you laughed and he took it as some kind of positive sign that you believed him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He heard you chuckle before he watched you leave to go to the kitchen.

He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket while he followed you into the kitchen and simply observed your actions. You were draining the noodles before you opened up the can of the Alfredo sauce.

“Dinner’s almost ready if you’re hungry.” He heard you say.

“Thanks. Do you need any help?” He asked.

“If you could just grab a couple of bowls, they’re up in that cabinet over there.” You motioned to the doors Alec needed to open up and he grabbed what you requested.

“The garlic still needs a few minutes I’m sure.” You said and he grinned.

“That’s fine.” He promised as you dished up everything. And with that, the two of you went to the living room and sat down on the couch beside one another.

The two of you were watching the Christmas Story, laughing at some of the scenes like when Ralphie’s friend got his tongue stuck to the flagpole, or the father’s reaction when he mispronounced “fragile” and had a French accent with it only to discover his leg lamp that would be an iconic staple for the movie. At least it was a staple for you when it came to this movie.

Alec honestly hadn’t had this much fun in a little while and it was nice to have some company that night and he hoped you were feeling the same.

Honestly, he knew that the both of you had sort of this weird, platonic, work friendship if you could put it simply. It was fun to flirt around with you since you would flirt back sometimes but he wondered if you only thought of it as just a joke. For Alec though, it wasn’t exactly a joke. Sure it was nonchalant and he knew that neither of you really knew each other. He couldn’t exactly say that he had a crush on you or anything certain like that, but he was definitely interested.

Maybe that was the reason he didn’t want you to spend the holiday alone. He hasn’t known you long, but Alec knew you deserved better than something like that.

While Alec was watching the movie at the part where Ralphie was fantasizing over the grade he would get for his essay, he could feel your head resting on his shoulder. The feeling made a sudden warmth shoot throughout his body. It was a pleasant feeling and he put his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to himself.

You felt the warmth of Alec’s arm surrounding your shoulders. The feeling was nice and comforting even. You hadn’t expected his touch to be so calming, and you were pretty content before Alec had come over anyway.

When you lifted your head, you noticed that Alec’s gaze was still transfixed on the television but you took a moment to observe his features. You’d never had a close look like this before and you had to admit, his profile was definitely a sight to behold. His features were pretty much, well, perfect if you had to think of a word for it. Your heart swelled when you heard him laugh and the smile he had was not only tugging on his lips but the smile was in his eyes too.

Of course, it would be a lie if you said you weren’t attracted to him. You can be attracted to someone and not necessarily be in love with them.

Although for the past couple of weeks, you were starting to grow infatuated with the man. Naturally you would never admit to it, especially since you didn’t want Max to lecture you on how Alec is all of the negative sort of things. If you explored your feelings, you wanted to learn how he was by yourself.

After all, as was mentioned before, you only knew Alec on the outside. You knew what he was like at work and not much beyond that.

“Enjoying the view?” Alec’s voice tore you from your thoughts, and you could hear the teasing sone with a hint of cockiness in his voice too.

You felt embarrassed that he had caught you staring, and your cheeks went pink as you looked back at the screen, “Sorry, just lost in thought.”

“You care to elaborate?”

You shrugged a little, knowing you didn’t want to be completely honest. But there was nothing wrong with a bit of a half truth, “Just thinking about how you and Max never really seem to get along.”

“Ahh don’t worry your head about that too much. It’s sort of like a sibling thing. She’s not so bad.” You heard Alec say, “Most siblings bicker a lot and tease each other and that’s fine with our chemistry. But also like most siblings, we have those moments that her few and far between where we care about each other.”

“Well that makes me feel a little better about it.” You chuckle and Alec grinned.

“She makes you sound like some arrogant, pain-in-the-ass man child that’s a little bit of a womanizer.” You admitted.

“That’s when I’m bored and like to get under her skin. I take pride in being her pain in the ass.” You couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“And the womanizer part?”

“Well if talking to girls makes me a womanizer, how else am I supposed to meet people? It’s not my fault that I may or may not be entertained in strip clubs. People are interesting there too.” Alec said, although his defense was a little questionable yet it wasn’t unexpected.

“I suppose you’re right, in your own little way.” Then you looked up at him once more.

“So… Mr. Pain in Max’s Ass Womanizer… Why did you actually come here? A crowded strip club wouldn’t be a real reason when there’s more than one in town.” You said and that was when Alec looked down at you.

You saw something change in his eyes. His gaze seemed to soften a little more now that he looked at you and he grinned a little, “You didn’t really think I would let you spend Christmas alone, did you? Let alone your first one.”

He came to your house… on Christmas Eve… just so you wouldn’t be alone that night? This was a new layer of Alec you didn’t know that you would be seeing that evening.

You softened against his touch before you looked back at the screen. The movie was still playing with adds in between, not that you were really paying attention to the movie at that point anyways. But you curled into his side and you felt his grip get a little tighter, more secure.

“Thank you.. for coming I mean. It was really sweet.” You whispered, “I’m glad that you came over. I’ve been having more fun than I thought that I would tonight.” You said, then you felt the warmth of his lips on your forehead - which caused your heart to skip a beat. An unexpected gesture to say the least, but it was sweet nonetheless.

“Hey, um… since it’s Christmas Eve and all, and traffic can be a little nuts… would you like to stay here tonight?” You asked. After all, you’d prefer to see your coworker alive and well on the next shift. People were always unnecessarily reckless around this time of year on the road.

“You know.. That doesn’t seem like a bad idea.” Alec smiled, but then the both of you started smelling something in the air.

“Is something burning?”

“Shit! The garlic bread!”

Alec laughed as you hopped up off the couch and ran towards the kitchen.

Other than the burnt garlic bread that could be mistaken for charcoal, it was a pretty good Christmas Eve. You knew it would more than likely be one of the most memorable holidays and that was because of Alec’s simple gesture of swinging by.

You couldn’t be more thankful for a guy like him, and you hoped that maybe because of this experience there would be a chance that the both of you could form a better friendship, or maybe something more in the future.

Hey guys!! Sorry that it’s been so long since I’ve updated. Things have been a bit busy but thank you so much for your patience and support. I hope all of you are doing well this holiday season! Love you all~❤️

Tag List: @roseblue373 @deans-spinster-witch

[doublel27]

Honestly a little surprised that you are "not mad" that Carlos didn't tell TK this huge secret in all the time they've been together. Especially after the way he acted about TK and his sponsor. Yeah the set-up for this storyline was non-existant and that's bad writing, but also, Carlos's complete lack of remorse and TK's complete lack of a reaction to the news makes me feel like I'm watching pod people. Is TK gunning for sainthood? Even if the set-up was there the way they handled the reveal just makes no sense.

Look, this is a man who spent four-six months of a break up lying to his parents about the break up and the fact that they weren’t living together anymore in a time period that included major holidays AND TK’s birthday.

He hates confrontation (I have a whole meta on it) and his anxiety is like for real bad (therapy Carlos my love please)

This is not new or news.

I’m going to detour (but bring it back around): this morning I was catching up on the Drama Queen’s podcast and they were discussing a storyline in which a half a married couple admits he’s lied by omission and his wife was physically injured due to this lie. And Sophia Bush (my angel, my love) brought up how as a person with severe anxiety (like me and Carlos and the queen herself) learns from a very young age to not bring their anxiety and worries to other people but to feel that they have to have a solution to the problem before they let others in.

The need to have an solution ready before he loops anyone else in is a VERY common behavior in Carlos. We see it from season one through season three. This is an area of growth for him.

Do I believe Carlos should have told TK long ago: yes.

Is this a flaw in Carlos’s character: absolutely

Does TK have every right to be pissed and hurt: most certainly.

But it’s Carlos turn to do the growing. We’ve gotten three seasons of TK’s character development arc start with a failed proposal in the series premiere and end with a successful proposal in the season three finale. TK’s ability not to immediately internalize this as Carlos thinking he was too fragile to handle this news and recognizing that Carlos has been drowning in his anxiety and guilt and shame over this and THAT is why he didn’t say anything, is outstanding and amazing and WHY Tarlos works. They take turns being the messy one.

So no, I’m not mad with Carlos. I don’t think not telling TK with the depth of guilt and shame and Carlos’s history of conflict avoidance is out of character. I do not blame others for being mad at Carlos and TK definitely has every right to surface his mad about this later after processing and when Carlos isn’t on an anxiety spiral.

I said it last season and I will say it again this season: we are watching two men with two different manifesting mental health issues navigate a relationship. They’re both doing their best but they will still hurt each other in the process of doing their best. Sometimes their best isn’t enough.

That’s marriage, kids, especially when you throw in depression, anxiety, substance abuse, internalized homophobia, and stressful jobs.

[fiction-box]

Solstice (F!Robin X Chrom)

Hello everyone, and happy @nagamas! I would like to wish a very special holiday season to my recipient, settphels, over on X. May you have a healthy 2024, and I hope you enjoy my work!

Requests are open. The story will continue under the cut.

“Lissa! Slow down!” Robin begged as the young princess dragged her through the snow.

“I wouldn’t have to go this fast if you hadn’t taken so long to get ready! Honestly, Robin, I’m surprised the sun hasn’t melted all the snow yet!”

It was the first day of the cold season that the snow stopped falling in Ferox, leaving the ground covered in a soft, clean sheet of white powder. Regardless, the tactician tugged her coat tighter to her chest with her free hand. The Feroxian cold chilled her to the bone; an idea solidified in the fact that this was the first winter she could remember.

Robin liked to think she came from somewhere nice and warm.

The women slowed to a stop a few yards from the large estate that Khan Flavia so graciously provided her champions. Frederick and Chrom were probably inside, writing up reports on their progress and deciding how next to move the Shepherds. Robin originally intended to join them, but Lissa talked her out into the snow before she even knew what was happening.

“Remind me why we’re standing out here, Lissa?” she shivered. “It’s freezing!”

“I told you, we have to make a snowman! Normally, Em would be here to help me, but since she couldn’t come with us, you get to be my assistant today,” Lissa smiled.

“A snowman…? But I don’t know how - I didn’t bring a tome with me or anything,” Robin frowned, glancing back at the estate.

The youngest princess of Ylisse giggled, “You don’t need magic, silly. I can’t believe you don’t know how to make a snowman.”

“Rubbing it in isn’t helping,” Robin muttered sheepishly.

“Here, watch.”

The blonde bent toward the snow, picking up a handful of powder and shaping it into a ball between her gloved hands.

“The trick is to apply a bit of pressure so the snow sticks together and forms a sphere. Then,” she added, setting the snowball down as she lowered herself to the ground, “you’ll keep patting more into it until it grows into a giant snowball.”

Robin watched silently, her breath forming clouds in the air as Lissa used her arms and hands to pull snow toward her. Soft crunching sounds accompanied her light taps on her creation as the original sphere tripled in size.

The princess paused, looking up as if to gauge Robin’s understanding. Or maybe just to see if she was paying attention - Robin didn’t know Lissa well enough to tell just yet.

“Okay, now it’s your turn.”

So the woman with hair the color of the winter around them knelt to the ground, scooping nearby snow into her gloves before pushing her hands together.

Upon opening her hands, flakes of white fell between her fingers and out of her palm.

Robin pursed her lips, determined to give it another try as she brushed off her hands and picked up more snow. This time, she added more pressure and held slightly less in her hand.

The result presented itself as a small, almond-shaped pile. It looked fragile even before Robin set it down, the “snowball” cleaving in half upon impact with the soft layer blanketing the grass.

A stifled snicker came from Lissa’s direction while the tactician huffed. How could anyone stick the snow together when it just brushes against the other flakes? Whenever she got enough snow onto the ball, it just crumbled to dust.

The fifth time she failed to make the snow stick together long enough, Robin simply stretched her neck to the sky and closed her eyes.

Meanwhile, Lissa appeared happy to show her support in the way she rolled on the icy ground, overtaken by a fit of giggles.

“Ah, yes. I’m glad you find my failure funny,” Robin glared, turning her head back to her companion.

“I- I’m-!” the girl gasped, “Ha! You can’t even-!

“What are you two doing out here?”

Chrom’s footfalls crunched loudly in the snow as he approached, eyeing the areas where the snow no longer looked even.

“Oh my goodness! Chrom!” Lissa managed. Her smile still went from ear to ear. “You have to see-! Robin can’t even make a snowball…”

The woman in question felt her ears going pink as blood rushed to her face, “Well I’m sorry I’ve never done this before! I don’t even really understand what it is that we’re doing!”

The prince of Ylisse simply sighed before taking a seat in the cold next to Robin.

“Don’t be so mean, Lissa. You should have been helping her instead of laughing.”

“Hmph. We were only having fun - you don’t have to lecture me.”

“Really?” Chrom teased, “What do you think Em would say?”

“Sh-she doesn’t have to know!”

He laughed, turning back to the newest Shepherd before picking up some snow of his own.

“Here, this way is easier,” his hand and palms were cupped closed, interlocking perfectly. “The way Lissa likes to do it can be a bit harder since she keeps her fingers splayed open - try keeping them close together.”

“Wow, you don’t even have gloves on. Aren’t you cold?”

The blue-haired prince shook his head, “I just came from inside, so I’m not too cold yet. Besides, using the heat from my palms tends to make it easier to make snowballs.”

“Lucky you.”

“You certainly seem like you wish you were inside,” Chrom chuckled. “You look so unacclimated.”

Robin chose to lightly ignore him, instead focusing on copying his movements exactly as she watched them performed earlier. After applying what she deemed an appropriate amount of pressure, she tilted her hand open…

…only to watch it crumble again.

Her result did not improve the next two times she tried.

Her fourth attempt for Chrom almost yielded a snowball; save for a few light angles here and there, the shape formed a ball well enough.

“There you go,” he encouraged.

Her breathing grew shallow as she turned her palm upright, removing her other hand to let it stand on its own.

Of course, Robin should have known not to expect much as she watched it split in three upon supporting its own weight in her hand.

“Agh-! Are you kidding me? I’m completely hopeless at this.”

A short exhale came from Chrom’s nose. Robin looked up quickly enough to see him fighting a smile before he cleared his throat.

“Here, let me help you.”

Easily, Chrom took one of her hands into his own. The tactician’s palm faced the sky as the prince used his other hand to lift a small pile of snow. Guiding her hand to his other one, he pressed the snow between their palms with much more force than Robin had been using to make her snowballs.

Transfixed, she watched Chrom’s hands envelope her own as the snow grew more firm upon her palm. He rotated her palm once more until it faced the sky again. Finally, he lifted his hands away and released her glove.

A perfect sphere.

“Showoff,” she smirked at him.

“I try.”

Robin returned her eyes to what they made together, admiring the ease he brought to something that stressed her out just moments ago.

Things were just easier with Chrom in general.

“You guys are so slow!” Lissa whined from behind Chrom, rolling a sizable snowball back to where she originally sat with Robin.

“Oh my-!” Robin gasped in awe. “Lissa, how did you do that?”

“What, this?” she gestured to the snowball.

Chrom put his hand on Robin’s shoulder and shifted to block her view “Gods, don’t stroke her ego. We’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Hey!” the princess interjected. “I can’t help being better at this than you two! I’m naturally gifted at this sort of thing.”

Her brother gave a quick laugh before crafting a snowball and throwing it at her. It made contact with her coat, prompting her to quickly bend over and make a snowball of her own. She threw it at Chrom, though he anticipated her attack and moved out of the way just in time.

“Ah! Hah! Cold! Cold!” Robin shivered, the snow from Lissa’s throw sliding down her neck to her chest. Reflexively, she set the snowball she and Chrom made down before tugging her coat tightly around her chest.

“Why is it so cold in Ferox?” she whined as the snow melted, drenching her undershirt.

“Now look, Lissa. You hit Robin!”

“It wouldn’t have hit her if you had just stayed still! Besides, what makes you think I’m not freezing from when you hit me?”

“You deserved it though,” Chrom raised a brow.

“Fine then,” Lissa huffed. “I’m going inside!”

“What? You’re the reason we’re out here!” Robin argued.

“I know...I’m just…I’m going to grab some things for our snowman. It needs a nose and some eyes, you know.”

“Right now?”

“Why not?” the princess stretched before turning toward the estate, “Someone has to get it eventually, I might as well go right now. Have fun taking forever to finish the snowman.”

Before either of her companions could get a word in otherwise, Lissa ran away to the warm shelter.

“Sorry about that,” Chrom sighed.

“It’s just Lissa being Lissa, you don’t need to apologize.”

“Still, I wouldn’t have moved out of the way if I knew you’d be hit by that snowball,” he frowned. “Here, let me.”

Swiftly, the prince unwrapped the scarf from his neck before putting it around Robin’s. The blue fabric went around one, two times before he left it to drape down her chest.

“If you’d like to tuck it underneath your shirt or your coat, feel free,” he remarked, suddenly enamored with the small snowball in front of them.

Robin took a few seconds to do just that before Chrom cleared his throat again.

“We should probably finish this before she comes back out though. I can hold the snowball if you’d like to pack more onto it. We’ll roll it around once it gets big enough.”

The tactician shook her head, “I think it might be better if I hold it while you do all the complicated stuff.”

“Complicated?” Chrom’s eyes found hers, a small smirk on his face.

“You saw me earlier! Besides, I’m the one wearing gloves. At least your hands get a break if you’re patting the snow.”

He nodded, handing her the snowball before he lifted more and more of the powder to press into it. Occasionally, he would grab her wrist or her arm for leverage, but the process mostly felt like a game to the woman. Chrom applied more snow, and Robin guessed where she’d have to apply resistance to the pressure.

The two finished in a matter of minutes, though Robin gave the prince most of the credit. Their creation landed on the snow beneath them as they stood to roll it around the untouched areas on the ground.

“It’s traditional to stack snowmen three layers tall back in Ylisse,” the prince remarked. “Feroxian tradition is a bit different; they use two layers. I think it has something to do with the two Khans, but Lissa knows more about it than I do.”

“They have more than enough precipitation here to make them four layers tall,” Robin speculated.

“True,” Chrom chuckled, “but it would probably start snowing again in the time it would take to make that many snowballs.”

With that, they finished rolling the ball in the snow. The pair worked together to get it back to Lissa’s snowball, lifting theirs to place atop hers.

“Gods,” Robin huffed, “definitely a group activity.”

“We aren’t finished quite yet. Lissa said she would grab the eyes and nose, but we should probably find branches for the arms and something for its mouth.”

“Hmm…” Robin looked around. A small forest of trees stood tall several yards away, so branches wouldn’t be too hard to find.

“I can go grab some rocks from the main road by the estate. Do you think those would work?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that,” she responded. “Sure. I can head toward the forest for branches.”

Walking against the wind, Robin began to realize just how cold she had gotten from spending so much time outside. Her gloves were soaked through from handling so much snow, and although Chrom’s scarf helped, she still wore her damp, frigid undershirt.

At least the snowman only needed a few more items. Once they wrapped this up, Robin would curl up in a chair with a blanket and a book until she could feel her toes again.

As her feet trudged along the edge of the forest, she began to wonder if Lissa planned to come back outside any time soon. Surely, she would at least help decorate their new friend.

Robin glanced around the uneven forest floor. Most of the branches that fell to the ground looked too thick for a snowball - their work would probably fall apart if she tried to use anything as large as the hilt of her sword.

Out of nowhere, her foot failed to find purchase as the ground crumbled away beneath her. It seemed the snow hadn’t landed in the exact shape of the forest, thanks to the branches blocking the precipitation from earlier.

“Woah-!”

She blindly tumbled down what was either a large hill or a small cliff - Robin wasn’t sure - as the shock of the frigid snow caused her to cry out. The tiny crystals invaded her coat, gloves, pants, and boots, her fall absorbed by the powder and a mix of her shoulders, knees, and hips.

At least it was soft. Well, as soft as plummeting through a forest could be.

Her momentum abruptly halted as she reached the lower level of the woods. Covered in snow, it was all she could do to thank Naga she hadn’t slammed into a tree and passed out.

Panicked and still high on adrenaline, Robin managed to lift her head out of the powder. Her chest had slammed into the ground, and she could hardly breathe. Though the Shepherd gasped for air, she couldn’t feel it entering her lungs.

“...-bin…?”

That was Chrom, though he sounded a bit far. As much as she wanted to call back to him, she couldn’t find her voice. Hopefully he could just follow the tracks she inevitably left behind.

“...Robin! Where are you? Are you-”

Once the voice grew close enough, the tactician turned her attention to the top of the hill. Sure enough, the prince of Ylisse stared back at her.

“I heard you scream,” he commented lamely, confusion on his face after scanning over her snow-dusted form. “Hang on, I’ll be right there.”

Chrom staggered his feet on the slope, using his arm to brace himself as he steadily slid down toward her.

In the seconds it took him to approach her, Robin attempted to brush herself off as well as she could with her shivering hands before struggling to stand.

The young lord arrived on solid ground, hastening his steps to get to his tactician, “Gods, Robin, what happened to you? You fell all the way down here from up there?”

“Not my proudest moment,” her teeth chattered.

“Nevermind then,” Chrom rushed to wrap her arm around his shoulder and support her. “Let’s just get you back to the shelter so you can warm up.”

“Yeah, I think I’m done with snow for today. Maybe we can take a different route back?”

The pair circled the small cliff, looking for a hill that appeared decidedly less steep. Thankfully, there appeared to be a safer option in the western part of the wood.

“We could probably get back faster if I carried you,” Chrom offered.

Robin liked to think that, in any other scenario, she might have hesitated before politely rejecting his offer. In the moment, however, she immediately welcomed the idea of giving her body a rest.

Unwrapping her arm from his shoulder, the Ylissean turned and lowered himself just enough so that Robin could climb onto his back. He was always lightly wary of how steady she was on her feet, encouraging her to balance using his arm until he safely lifted her off the ground.

“You’re lucky I was able to find you in the snow with that white hair of yours,” he started as he continued their trip back to the estate. “Things could always be worse.”

“Could be much better, too,” she frowned.

“I won’t argue with that.”

It didn’t take Chrom as long as Robin thought it would to return to the upper level of the forest and exit the woods. She supposed her original guess was influenced both by the pain in her limbs, the cold, and how much she slowed Chrom down.

She felt him let out a soft breath of air as they finally arrived to see Lissa doing their job for them.

“About time! I was thinking you were never going to-”

Once her eyes absorbed the sight of how disheveled her brother and her friend were, the princess dropped the buttons she was adjusting on the snowman and rushed to guide the two inside.

“There are some blankets on the couch, but I should probably help Robin out of those wet clothes first. And I was hoping to surprise you with cocoa when you came inside - it’s already prepared and sitting on the coffee table.”

Once the three made it through the door, Chrom lowered the woman off his back. He offered his arm to help her stand as Lissa took off her coat and boots. The princess led her to a spare room while her brother began to take off his own outer layers.

“Gosh, Robin. You need to be more careful - it’s only a matter of time before you get in over your head.”

“It wasn’t on purpose…”

Lissa sighed, pulling her drenched friend in for a hug, “I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

Just as quickly, the youngest princess pulled away with a shiver.

“You’re way too cold! Let’s get you into something warm so we can all stop worrying, okay?”

Once everyone was finally warm in the common room and Frederick started a fire, it became much easier to laugh about everything that happened that day. Then, after a short argument that Lissa had no intention of losing, Robin surrendered her drenched coat for the day so Lissa could put it on their snowman. After all, if it had a coat, their wintry friend would have no need for branches as its arms.

Perhaps everything turned out right in the end.

[pensat-i-fet]

Cuddle sessions (Frenkie de Jong x Reader)

**I got a request to write about looking after little Frenkie when he’s sick and I adore how this turned out, honestly. Super cute. Hopefully you all enjoy reading!! ❤️**

Word count: 2080

Masterlist

Wattpad

I’m woken up by my little dog Pearl, who seems to be able to guess what day it is today.

“I know, little one. Dad is coming back today. Finally!”

Pre-season is tough for the players but no one talks about how tough it is for their families. It’s been two weeks since I got to see Frenkie and I’m planning on being a clingy girlfriend when he comes back. I want cuddles. And so does Pearl.

“Let’s give you your breakfast and get mine ready before I go pick him up”.

I know there is no point in dressing up because we’ll come back home and just spend the day here but I still want to make a bit of an effort. Frenkie will be so tired after 12 hours on a plane that he’ll appreciate me trying to look extra cute for him.

I pick up a nice orange summery dress. I got a little bit of a tan when we were away on holidays so it looks better now than when I'm pale. I put my hair up in a messy bun since it's still too hot in Barcelona to wear it down for longer than ten minutes. And there is no need for make-up thanks to the tan. Picking up the perfume I know Frenkie loves, I spray a bit on my neck and my wrists. Perfect!

"I'll be back in an hour, my love", I say, scratching Pearl's tummy when she lies on the floor trying to get my attention so I don't leave. So needy. But I'll do the same when I see my boyfriend. Well, not asking him to rub my belly but…the human version.

The traffic is not that bad so I'm actually a little early. I decide to get out of the car because it's too hot inside and see some people have made it to the training centre.

"Hi, are you on pick-up duty today?"

"Yes, Lluís", I laugh. "I drove Frenkie here before he left so he's got no car".

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you as soon as possible after such a long time away", I nod. "And you look lovely, by the way".

"Thank you".

"The café is open if you want to hide from this heat. I can let you know when they arrive".

"That'd be amazing!"

So I go to the café and order a soda and chat with the people who work there. I love everyone working at Barça. It really is like a big family.

"I think they are arriving now".

I turn and see Lluís walking towards the café too which means he's coming to tell me.

"Are they here?"

"Yes. Go see your boy".

I smile at him and walk towards where the bus should be parked right now.

One by one, the players start to show up and even though I hope Frenkie is one of the first ones out of the bus, he's not.

It almost feels like everyone is already out but him. But then I see him, looking very tired.

"Hi!"

When he hears my voice, Frenkie looks up and I see a smile forming on his lips.

"Hey! I missed you".

I jog towards him and hug him, so happy he's back.

He lets go of the suitcase to hug me properly and I can feel him putting more of his weight on me before sighing.

"You smell so good".

That makes me giggle. "Thank you. You sound very tired. How was the flight?"

"The flight was fine. I just don't feel well".

I move back and lift his face to look at him. He looks so much more tired than he should. And he looks so pale. Well, even more than usual.

"What happened? Are you sick?"

"It was my fault".

I turn to see it's Gavi speaking. "Why would it be your fault? Did you do something to him?"

"I had a stomach bug when we travelled to the US and pretty much the entire squad got it. Frenkie is the last one".

"Oh, honey".

I move the hair away from his forehead and notice how hot he is.

"Do you have a temperature too?", he nods. "Well, let's go home so I can look after you".

Taking his hand, I lead him to the car. And before going to the driver's seat, I run to the café to get a bottle of water for him.

"Thanks, my love. I wish I could kiss you but I don't want to make you sick".

"Is that how you got it from Gavi?"

He chuckles. "No, from Robert".

"Should have guessed".

When we are finally home, Pearl goes absolutely mad seeing Frenkie is back.

"Hey, girl. Did you miss me?", she starts to bite him playfully while she keeps running around him. "I'll take that as a yes".

"We both missed you".

"And now I come back sick and can't spend quality time with you two because of it. I hate this".

"Hey, it's fine. I knew we would spend the day home anyways. You were going to be tired from the flight and I have the day off".

He gets up from the floor, much to Pearl's dislike. And he grabs my face gently. I start to lean forward instinctively but he just kisses my forehead instead.

"You look so pretty. I should be taking you out for lunch. But I will the second I feel better, ok?"

I nod, smiling at how he's always worried about me. Even when he is sick and it should be me who's worried.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing", he groans.

"Frenkie, you have to eat. I can make you some soup or order something if you fancy that more".

"Soup is fine".

"Ok, I'll get changed quickly and make some. I can buy some bread too, that's good for the stomach and we love carbs. How about you shower while I do all that?"

He nods, getting up and following me to our bedroom.

I open the drawers to grab some shorts and a t-shirt for Frenkie and I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and placing his head on my shoulder after kissing it.

"Orange looks so good on you. Can you wear something else that's orange? And you can wear that dress when I take you to lunch this weekend".

"I'll find something. And I found this for you. Go freshen up. It'll make you feel so much better".

"I really want to kiss you".

"Then do it. I'll catch this bug anyways", I shrug. "At least I get some kisses as well".

He smiles, pecking my lips a couple of times before going to the bathroom.

I change into comfier clothes and go back to the kitchen to make his soup.

Once the food is boiling, I bring the heat down a bit and set the timer before leaving to go buy some bread.

"Pearly, come here! Do you want to come with me to buy some bread? Yes?"

I manage to calm her down long enough to put the lead on and grab my keys.

"I'll be back in ten minutes!", I yell, hoping Frenkie can hear me. And when he yells back, I know he did.

"One baguette, please. And…I'll take two of those chocolate donuts as well, please".

"Here you go", says the lady from the bakery when she passes me the bag. "Thank you".

"Thank you. See you soon".

I can tell Pearl wants to stay out for longer and make a mental note to go for a longer walk after lunch. If she doesn't fall asleep like it usually happens around that time.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"I'm on the sofa".

When I get to the living room, I see him laying down with his eyes closed.

"Did the shower help?", I say, brushing my fingers through his still wet hair.

"A bit…", he opens his eyes and just stares at me. "You're wearing my shirt".

I look down at my clothes. "Yes, you said I should wear orange and the only orange shirt I have is your one from the national team".

"It looks so good on you".

"It also looks alright on you".

"Remember that time you wore it and a guy asked you if you were my fan?"

"Yes", I laugh, remembering that moment. "And when I told him I was your girlfriend he gave me such a look. Totally thought I was making it up".

"Well, you weren't", he says, grabbing one of the hands caressing his hair and kissing it softly.

The sound of the alarm I set for the food ruins the moment and I go blend the veggies.

I cut the baguette into smaller pieces and toast a few of them. Some just after drizzling some olive oil on the bread and for the others I add some cheese that melts and makes my mouth water. We love carbs and we definitely love cheese.

"Food is ready!"

"Coming!"

I put everything on the table but before I'm done, Frenkie hugs me, just trying to find comfort in doing that.

"Is there any medicine you can take? I could go buy it. I hate seeing you in pain".

"I have some on the wash bag that the team gave me. Can you go get it? I feel so weak".

"Sit down, I'll be right back".

I spot the wash bag quickly. Frenkie is usually so tidy. Way more than I am. But he just left his suitcase and bags on the floor, which shows how bad he really must feel.

There is only one little pack of tablets in the bag, so I pick it up but not before I notice everything he got there. Shampoo, shower gel, hairbrush, toothbrush…and a little bracelet with my name and his we made once while we looked after one of my little nephews. I had forgotten about it but seeing him carry it around makes me smile.

"Got them. I think. There were no more tablets there".

He puts the spoon down to grab the medicine. "Thank you".

I see him take the tablet and put his head in his hands, sighing. And I have to hug him. I put my arms around him and kiss his cheek before squeezing him but not too tightly. I want to comfort him, not hurt him more.

"I love you", I hear him whisper.

"I'm fond of you too".

I move my chair and plate so I can sit next to him and he looks up to smile at me.

Frenkie eats slowly but he manages to eat a nice portion of food. I push the bread towards him and he shakes his head but I convince him to try and have some. It'll do him good.

"I need to take Pearl on a little walk but then I'm all yours, ok?"

"I'll go to bed. It's closer to the bathroom".

I can't help but laugh at that. "Good choice".

Pearl and I go to the park so she can run around. I look at her smiling to myself. She's definitely going to have a long nap after that. We drink some water from the fountain before making our way back home.

"Let's go look after dad, Pearly! We can all cuddle together, right?"

I swear she understands what I said to her because she starts walking faster. And when we get home, she starts jumping while I get my keys to open the door. But there is no need because the door opens and Pearl moves on to jumping around Frenkie instead.

"Go back to bed. You're sick".

"I'm a lot better now", he says, opening his arms so I hug him.

I close the door behind me and get into his embrace. I really missed him these last few weeks.

"How about a cuddle session?"

"That was all I wanted from today. Cuddles with my girls".

"Let's go then".

We get the sofa ready to lay down comfortably and put on a comfort movie that we won't probably pay attention to. Pearl is lying near our feet, getting comfortable before her nap.

"You look better", I tell Frenkie, caressing his face.

"Being next to you is the best medicine".

"Yeah?"

He nods, leaning down to kiss me. "I missed you so much".

"Robert's kisses aren't as good as mine, right?"

"Not even close".

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 13

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Masterlist

"Are you ready for Sunday's game?" Ben asked.

"I was born ready" June smiled.

"If you win, the league is yours."

"No way, really?"

"You can't be sarcastic and smile at the same time, Maxwell. It loses all its meaning."

"Shut up and keep cutting that tomato" she said, trying really hard to stop smiling like an idiot. 

She and Ben had kept seeing each other even more often, spending most of her free afternoons and nights at his house since she still shared her flat with John, and they would usually follow the same routine. 

She would buy some food after training, they would cook it together, and then eat it while watching something on tv until one of them fell asleep. Nine times out of ten, that would be June. Since she didn't like driving that late at night, she would stay at Ben's, always in the same room. By now, it felt as if it belonged to her. 

She had some clothes in the closet to get changed, a toothbrush and some creams in the bathroom, an extra blanket on the bed for when she got cold, a phone charger.... And if you asked Ben, he would tell you that it already smelled of her, of that perfume she always wore and that reminded him of his summer holidays in Spain.

In the mornings, and if June didn't have training, they would go out for a walk around the neighborhood before going back home and making breakfast, sitting together once again to eat and just talk, getting to know each other more and more. They weren't seeing the other as June Maxwell and Ben Chilwell anymore. They were just June and Ben. Two friends who occasionally made out.

"Are you doing anything special after the game?" he asked.

"Celebrate" she smirked. 

"And if you don't win?" 

"We are winning, Chilwell. Stop trying to jinx it."

"I'm not trying anything" he said, lifting his hands.

"Careful! You have a knife there!"

"Oh, sorry" he said, putting it down. 

"That was dangerous, Ben."

"I know, I'm sorry" he said, kissing her cheek.

"Being cute won't make me forget that I had a knife next to my eye."

"It wasn’t next to your eye" he laughed.

"That's what you say. You weren't paying attention."

"I'm sorry" he said, kissing her cheek again and hugging her from behind.

"Ben… Stop."

"Why?" he asked, now kissing her neck.

"Because I also have a knife, and you are distracting me."

"Am I?" he said against her skin, sending goosebumps down her spine.

"Ben… please."

"Ok, fine" he chuckled. "But only because that burger smells amazing and I'm famished" he said with a cheeky smile.

"Thank you" June replied, trying to focus on what she was doing and not on how close Ben's body had been to hers, on how he had made her feel. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“How does it feel lifting the league trophy, June?” Andrew asked.

“Honestly… best feeling ever” she said, a big smile on her face.

“How are you going to celebrate?”

“I don’t know yet. We may wait until the party on Tuesday with the boys to do something big and celebrate both titles together. But I heard there is pizza in the changing room, so that’s a beginning” she laughed.

“I like how that sounds” Jacob said. “What about you, Chilly? Anything to add?”

“Just congratulations. And behave yourself, Maxwell. I may have gone soft on you this season, but that may not happen on the next one” he smirked.

“I’ll try” she winked, noticing how Ben’s cheeks had turned a shade darker. 

“Ok, I think we can let June go eat that pizza” Andrew chuckled. 

“I think we can, yes” Jacob said. “Enjoy the summer, June. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, guys. You too” she smiled. “And you keep an eye on your phone” she whispered to Ben once her microphone was off. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Are we doing something tomorrow or not?” Vittoria asked.

“I think I’m gonna be too tired, to be honest” Lauren yawned. They were on the bus on their way back to London, most of their teammates taking a nap or just catching up with their families after celebrating at the stadium.

“June?”

“I have plans” she said, her eyes fixed on her phone.

“Plans? With whom?”

“With Chilly, obviously” Lauren chuckled. “Are you taking your relationship to the next base?”

“There is no relationship” June replied, rolling her eyes.

“But whatever you have going on is going to the next base, isn’t it?”

“I would not complain if it happened” she smirked.

“June!” Vittoria laughed.

“What? The last time we met he was touchier than usual and I’ve been horny since then. I need a release.”

“Did she drink anything?” Vittoria asked Lauren. “She had never been this… open about her feelings for him.”

“I don’t have feelings for him.”

“Of course you don’t, June. Of course you don't” Vittoria said.

“Lauren, what is it?” June said, ignoring her other friend.

“Uh?” 

“You are giving me Leah’s judgy look. What is going on inside that head of yours?"

“It’s nothing. I’m just trying to decide when you are going to fuck up things with Chilly” Lauren shrugged.

“Lauren! Don’t be like that” Vittoria said. “This may work out, he may be the one!"

“He might, yes. But we both know June, and she could still ruin it.”

“Love the confidence” June replied. “But he isn’t the one or the love of my life. He is just a friend.”

“Yeah, yeah. A friend you don’t have feelings for and that you want to shag just because you are horny.”

“Exactly” she said, trying to keep all the things she had been feeling for him lately locked in the back of her head. All the times he had made her heart skip a beat with something he had said or with a smile. All the times she had felt funny things on her stomach when he had kissed her, touched her. They were just friends and nothing else, she couldn’t allow herself to think otherwise. It was too scary, and as Lauren said, she would definitely end fucking things up.

[palpipeen]

Life Day: Nice or Naughty...?

Lucky for all you naughty naughty people, you get BOTH. <3

Also yes, I live.

ANYWAY, info stuff time~

------- It's Life Day, and you're with your boy of choice. <3 Rating: NC-17 for Sexual Themes Warnings: Holiday Stuff (no mention of family other than the clones), consensual somnophilia (Fox eating you out in your sleep), oral, PinV/A, Lots of Fluff followed by Lots of Smut Reader has no gender~ WC: 2253 AN: So I hit 101 followers and I’m on the floor, screaming crying sobbing throwing up and shitting. Thank y’all so much. Here is a leetol gift for the season~ This is set in my “And Nothing Bad Ever Happened, Ever AU” so. People still be dyin’ and dead but there’s not quite so much tragedy. Also we’re goin with a SFW and a NSFW theme, so the first batch will be listed as “NICE” and then the rest will be “NAUGHTY”. ENJOY.

ALL OF MY WORK IS INTENDED FOR AUDIENCES THAT ARE 18+. Minors DNI.

NICE

Starting off with our boy Commander Fox:

Life Day with Fox is honestly my personal ideal. Fox just wants one day (1) where he isn’t expected to do a thousand things a minute, he isn’t expected to answer a thousand questions from a thousand soldiers and senators or delegate any tasks. Also, you two don’t even have to leave your own home! Fox just wants to be somewhere that isn’t the Guard HQ that he can just exist and relax for the holiday, and he does just that. Like the rest of the GAR he doesn’t have much credits, so instead of buying you something he gives you something small that he made. Not sure what it would be, but it’s made with love and adoration. He will absolutely NOT be discussing how he went through five test runs with your gift, and he’s got them stuffed away in his contraband closet in his office. He also won’t mention how it took him literal months to complete, in part because of his schedule and because he wanted it to be fucking perfect. And it is. He made it while thinking of no one but you, and it illustrates the depth of his love for you. (Which is deeper than ANY of the deep sea trenches on Kamino.)

Next Up, my Personal Bestest Boy Hardcase:

Okay now I love Hardcase, but his Life Day would be. So. Fucking. BUSY. Hey Hardcase, you DO know that it’s LITERALLY physically impossible to give presents to ALL of your siblings in ONE day right? Oh you’re gonna make it happen?! Okay, Chris Fuckin Cringle, jesus fuck. He would though, you know he would, he would make it work. Hardcase is the exact opposite of the biggest Bah Humbug motherfucker you’ve ever met. Not only that, Hardcase is doing SO. MUCH. COOKING. But don’t worry - he’s making you all of your favorite dishes, and has been buying you little gifts ever since he found out Life Day was a THING that made him think of you and how much he loves you. While Hardcase knows that material things aren’t the reason for the season, he still wants to spoil you. He’s also just a bundle of wonder and awe, but he is also very generous - if he sees a family in need during the season he’s dropping everything he can to see how he can help make their season better. In a post-war world where Hardcase lives and everything is FINE, nothing bad happened, he’s definitely volunteering part of Life Day at a soup kitchen or shelter of some sort. All in all - Hardcase brings the joy of the season, whether anyone is ready for it or not. (Trust me - you aren’t.)

Speaking of Bah Humbugs…Commander Wolffe:

Oh, Wolffie. Oooh, Wolffie. You’re a mean one ain’t’cha? So yeah, Wolffe might be the biggest party-pooper out of the bunch. He just doesn’t get it - and he doesn’t mean to spoil it for everyone. He’s just not sure why all of this matters at first. So he’s the sulky uncle who sits alone, nursing some really strong drink throughout most of the day…at least he’s that way at first. But show him some younglings decorating a tree and enthusing about the holiday season and you unlock something in him. I stand by the HC that Wolffe actually has a soft spot for kiddos - it brings out the best parts of him that aren’t a soldier. So yeah, one minute Wolffe is sitting in the corner, barely making conversation with anyone - because let’s be honest, Wolffe is absolutely ass at small-talk and most conversations - and the next, he’s hoisting a youngling up to put the topper on some gaudily decorated tree. Meanwhile two other younglings are decorating him because he’s as tall as some of the trees they’ve seen. Also, Wolffe would absolutely wipe the floor with his fashion sense for the season - Wolffe being a fashionista is always something I can get behind. He’d also be down for an ugly sweater contest, purely because if you can’t give the judges the perfect scowl in that gaudy, awful thing, are you really even competing? (Also yes, him and Fox have a vicious competition with each other. It almost always ends with them having an argument where one of them inevitably puts the other in a headlock.)

Oh we can’t forget about Captain Rex:

Alright so, here’s a character I haven’t really gotten into. But I feel like if you’re looking for that cliche Hallmark Christmas movie experience, or something similar without the misogyny, you’d want to spend Life Day with Rex. Rex obviously gets invited by General Skywalker’s very dear friend, Senator Amidala, to spend Life Day on Naboo. In fact, the entire 501st do, but it’s the one time he doesn’t have to look after them. Instead, he’s spending his days experiencing - well, life. Naboo doesn’t have a typical winter season, but the vibes are still there, so he’s definitely drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows, candy cane sticking out - literally every morning. (Don’t judge him, he’s earned it.) And if you just so happen to be Rex’s partner, well, he’s also wanting to drink that hot chocolate with you every morning, and get out there and experience everything the season has to offer. And he can’t buy much, but the gift he gets you (besides his time, which is precious) is priceless. There is such obvious love and time and effort put into getting you something that is perfect for you. Also, you two get to have dinner on your own - just the two of you. (Tooth rotting stuff, truly.)

Arright now for the SINFUL SHIT~

***

Naughty

Foxy Boy~

So obviously, any time you and Fox get to spend with each other where Fox doesn’t have to worry about his men, you are fucking. Nonstop. But around Life Day, when he’s given the all clear for some VERY much deserved R&R, he indulges once…and then nothing. Besides heavy make-out sessions, he stops you just before it gets too heavy - tells you he just wants to savor his time with you without sex. Alright, that’s fine at first, but then you’re starting to get antsy. Why isn’t he in your pants like he normally is?! You finally wheedle it out of him - he’s got a surprise for you on Life Day proper. It’s not much, but it really is the thought that counts. And boy howdy, did he think this through. So you wake up to breakfast in bed - you also wake up to him, under the sheets, with his head between your legs. Who knows how long he’s been under there, because you wake up coming on his tongue. After that he feeds you by hand - a breakfast he made from scratch. And it’s not just good, it’s incredible. You do most of the cooking when you two get together, and some of Fox’s attempts at cooking weren’t great - but this? This is gourmet. Where did these skills come from?! Fox reveals that he’s been taking cooking lessons for today, which is impressive considering his schedule. After making sweet, slow love to you, he clears up breakfast (naked) and the rest of the day continues like that. Eventually you two do have to get out of bed for a bath (which you take together of course), and move to the living room for dinner (which he also made, it is lavish and delicious and perfect). Fox really just wants to show you how much he cares for you, and do what he can for you while he has this time with you. It’s precious to him - just about as precious as you are to him.

Ho-Ho-Hardcase:

Alright so yeah - Hardcase would do some really, REALLY cheesy shit on Life Day once everything calms down and he’s got you to himself. And not just the whole rose petals, candles (where’d he find those?? Do those exist in Star Wars???) and red satin sheets. Oh no. He’s got the Star Wars equivalent of a Santa costume on. (IDK what that is in SW, and I’m writing this at 1:30am - research is beyond me rn.) It’s ridiculous, but it’s what you’ve come to expect from him - and somehow he makes it so hot?! Well it’s probably because the get-up is little more than suspenders and trousers that leave nothing to the imagination, and he’s got this whole script going…. Which is way hotter than it should be. Hardcase would absolutely be in his element doing this: seducing you while telling you how naughty you’ve been, how he should just be punishing you. But you look so sweet, so it’d be a shame to let that spoil. Needless to say, you spend a lot of time on his lap. He also somehow managed to get you a whole new miniature collection of sex toys - with a few for him, of course. You two spend the night and into the wee hours of the morning just having the raunchiest, most thoroughly exhausting sex of your life. And Hardcase has a rule for the day - for every one time he cums, he’s making you cum three more times. Strap in, you’re in for a very long ride. (Mayhamps….a sleigh ride, oooOOOOHOHOHOHO--)

Krampus. I mean Wolffe:

Much like Fox, any time Wolffe gets time off to spend with you, it’s going to be spent absolutely railing you. And any chance he gets, he’s doing just that. Out looking at light displays? Good thing you’re taking a personal speeder, because he’s having you pull over and fogging up the windows while fucking your brains out. Going to some fancy restaurant? He meets you in the bathroom and takes you in one of the stalls. (Good thing he’s very good at keeping you quiet.) But the best time is the night of Life Day - he’s been teasing you at the 104th holiday party, giving you those looks, lingering touches that sets your skin on fire, whispering so close to your ear that his lips brush your skin and send shivers down your spine. When Wolffe finally announces both of you are leaving, the whole battalion knows what’s going to happen when you two get to your place. Wolffe has a trick up his sleeve though - normally, he’s the one calling the shots. But tonight he’s leaving it in your capable hands - he’ll do whatever you ask. And you do just that -thoroughly rescrambling his brain with that amazing sloppy toppy, edging him after you tie his hands to the headboard, and finally letting him blast the fattest nut in you - and then the two of you fall asleep like that, after you untie his hands. Throughout the night Wolffe and you wake up when he gets hard again, reaffirming just how close and devoted the two of you are to each other.

And Finally, Rex:

Oh, Rex. Remember what I said about that cliche Hallmark Christmas movie shmutz? Yeah, it gets better. (Worse?) Rex is much like Fox in that the day starts off with him pleasuring you. The two of you barely awake while he’s doing it, but when he’s awake enough he stills your hands and takes over. Slowly, slowly bringing you to climax, and being very thorough while he does it. When he’s finally finished (it takes him a good three orgasms until he’s satisfied), he enters you slowly. It’s so warm, so intimate, so raw and sweet in the best of ways as he makes slow, tender love to you. Murmuring how you just being in his life is the greatest gift the universe ever gave any man, much less him. The world melts away until it’s just you two, and it isn’t until he gets a message on his commlink that you two realize you’re late for the 501st holiday party. After reluctantly prying yourselves away from each other (after a very steamy shower, that is), the two of you go to the party. Somehow, someone (-coughHARDCASEcough-) got a hold of fireworks. And as the two of you watch the spectacular light show, you eventually notice Rex watching you. The devotion, adoration, pure unconditional love in that man’s eyes moves the galaxy around you. And listen, I’m not saying an engagement happens during the fireworks - but he might say something along the lines of how he wants to spend all of the Life Days to come by your side. (And then you two go back home and BANG some more. There, ended smutty.)

-----------

And that’s it folks! I started this back when I had 101 followers - and didn’t get back to it until the new year. WILD. Sorry for my extended absence. I’ve missed y’all SO much, and I’m hoping to get back into writing soon! I hope everyone had a safe and sane holiday without too much stress, a lot of niceness and a bit of spice. ;) Y’all deserve it! <3

Taglist Sign-Ups: @thefanficsideblog @jabbas-lightsaber @rain-on-kamino @lackofhonor @seeking-kharis

Tagged Just Cuz: @rexxdjarin @ulchabhangorm @sleepingsun501 @boomtowngirl

If you don't wanna be tagged in future stuff, DM me to let me know! Otherwise if you DO wanna be tagged in future stuff, go here!

[alwritey-aphrodite]

five

Chapter 5 of I’ll Be Back Again To Stay

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Santiago Garcia x single mom!reader

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 2.4k

Author’s Note: alternative title: it’s Christmas Eve and everyone refuses to acknowledge their feelings

The last few days leading up to Christmas Eve were a whirlwind of present wrapping, Inez-wrangling, baking, and trying not to think about Santi. It was proving to be an impossible task.

No matter what you did, you couldn’t stop thinking about your kiss. And it wasn’t just a simple kiss, it was a full on, bonafide make out session, with someone you’d only met a little over a week ago, that made your head go all fuzzy and your chest tighten whenever you saw him or spoke to him or thought of him.

But that was an issue for another time, because Inez was getting harder and harder to calm down the closer Christmas Eve came.

Kids were always extra excited during the holiday season, but this year Inez was practically bouncing off the walls. She was beyond excited to spend it with her new friends, with more people than just you and her and Sydney, who couldn’t always make the trip after she’d moved away.

You’d felt bad before that you couldn’t give her that picture perfect, large family get together, with everyone smiling and laughing and full of holiday cheer. In your mind, Inez and Sydney were the only family you had, but Will and his buddies were a welcome extension of that.

Now, though, with your invitation to the Morales house, you and Inez get to experience that large family atmosphere. She’s able to run around with Maria while waiting to open presents, and they can play with their new gifts together afterwards.

The day before Christmas Eve, Inez was practically uncontrollable. You, Syd, and Will had taken her to the movie theater to watch the older holiday movies they played, just to give her something to distract her for a few hours. And it worked, but as soon as you left the theater, she was talking a mile a minute about what toys she hopes she gets and how she’s too excited to sleep, even though it’s still the middle of the afternoon.

To keep that holiday cheer going, and to keep her occupied, you have Inez help you with the gift wrapping you’d put off until the last possible second. She wasn’t much help at the actual wrapping part, but she was an expert at sticking the bows on.

Eventually, she runs off to play with the army of stuffies she’d brought, and you plop down on the couch next to Sydney.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” She asks, putting an emphasis on the you.

“Terrified. Extremely anxious. Like I’m on the verge of throwing up.” You tell her, honestly.

As much as the group had included you, you couldn’t help the times you felt like an outsider, an intruder ruining the dynamics that they’ve created years ago. Spending a holiday with someone is important, and you just don’t want them to second guess or regret asking you.

Plus, tomorrow would be the first time you’re seeing Santi since you kissed him, and you already know that Sydney will be able to tell that something’s off. The last thing you need tomorrow is Syd’s teasing.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about,” she reassures you, giving you a squeeze on the shoulder.

“Yes I do,” you counter, “what am I supposed to wear?”

“Whatever you want.”

“But I left my ball gown at home.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” She deadpans, before you both break out in giggles.

It takes you a minute to recover, but once you do, Syd is ready to offer you real advice: “It’s honestly just a casual thing, you’ll fit right in in a pair of jeans. And don’t make a big deal because it’s a holiday, just approach it like just another night hanging out at the Morales’.”

Her advice actually worked to calm you down, but you were still beyond anxious about seeing Santi again. He hadn’t texted you since he dropped you off that night, so now you’re worried that he regrets it. You aren’t even sure how you feel.

He’s an attractive man, no one can argue with that, but you’re still not quite sure if your feelings go any deeper than that. And really, do you want them to? What good would it do for you to fall completely in love with a man who lives on the other side of the country?

But still, there’s that part of you that craves him, that wants to spend time with him. Just being near him is enough, his presence sending your nerves haywire and your heart pounding.

You try to ignore your feelings towards Santiago, and your nerves, but they’re always there, humming below the surface.

You give Inez a hot chocolate before sending her to bed early, because you know she’s going to beg you to let her stay up as late as possible tomorrow, and you’re going to let her. She needs as much sleep as she can get, because even though she refuses to nap, she’s a beast when she’s tired.

Luckily, she falls asleep pretty fast, all of the excitement finally getting to her. You sit with her for a few minutes, just watching as she drifts off, before placing a soft kiss on her forehead and creeping from the room.

You call it an early night yourself, far too anxious to sit with Sydney and Will and enjoy the holiday movie they have playing on the TV or the festive drinks they’ve made. Instead, you try your hardest to fall asleep at a decent time, steering your mind away from Santi.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but suddenly Inez is leaning over your groggy form, trying her hardest to whisper in your ear, “You gotta get up!” over and over again. Not your ideal wake-up call, but you put a smile on your face just the same.

You haul Inez downstairs for breakfast, where Sydney is making some last minute additions to your lunch contributions. She’s the exact opposite of Will, finishing tasks at the last possible second and somehow never worried about them.

They both greet you warmly as you set Inez at the kitchen table, wandering over to pour yourself some coffee. You know you’re going to need it. Inez, on the other hand, is absolutely bursting with energy and excitement, so much so that she can barely sit still long enough to eat her breakfast.

Once she’s finished and you’re almost fully awake, you haul her back upstairs to get ready for the day. Inez must be in a great mood, because she barely complains when you wash her face and help her brush her teeth. She’s all smiles as you help her get dressed and send her off downstairs so you can get ready.

You agonize over your outfit choices before you force yourself to calm down and remember what Sydney had told you last night, settling on a pair of jeans and a sweater. You take another minute to remind yourself that today is going to be great and to not overthink everything.

Once you’ve completed your pep talk, you join Inez and Will downstairs as you wait for Syd to finish getting ready before you can all head out. Inez helps Will load all of the gifts and food into the car, finishing just in time for Sydney to pull on her shoes.

The Morales house is already bustling by the time you arrive, and Benny and Santiago have yet to show up. Maria zips to the door to greet you, and as soon as Inez has her boots off, they’re running away to play. Frankie is in the kitchen, still trying to finish up the main dishes for lunch.

Sofia helps you arrange the gifts you brought under the tree, next to the TV that’s softly playing Christmas movies nobody is paying attention to. Soon afterwards, Benny arrives, followed by Santiago. Maria doesn’t bother coming downstairs to greet them, too distracted by Inez and their discussion of what toys they hope they get.

All the adults gather around the kitchen table as Frankie puts the finishing touches on the main dish and Sofia sets out place settings for everyone. Benny helps her carry the other dishes everyone brought, an array of snacks and side dishes so the Moraleses didn’t need to stress about every part of the day.

It’s almost impossible to make Maria and Inez sit down and eat, and they keep craning their necks to glance at the tree in the corner of the living room, as if someone would sneak in and steal all their gifts. As much as the adults want to have a leisurely meal, the girls scarf down their food, impatiently waiting for you all to do the same.

Sofia sends them from the table, exhausted by their endless bouncing, and when the rest of you exit the dining room a few minutes later, they’ve set themself up in front of the tree, intently staring at the gifts, as if they’re attempting to see through the boxes and wrapping paper. You can’t hold in your giggles at the sight, and the look the girls give you sends you into a full on laughing fit.

After what you’re sure felt like hours to them, you and the other adults finish cleaning up the kitchen and dining room before piling into the living room. There’s not enough room on the couch, so you settle yourself onto the floor, and Santi lowers himself next to you.

Frankie gives him a look, glancing from his face to his knees and back to his face. Santiago dismisses it with a shrug, and Maria comes barreling onto her father’s lap, ending any further inquiry from Frankie.

As you’d suspected, Inez had more fun tearing up wrapping paper and digging through bags than anything else. Of course, she was very happy with all of the gifts she’d received, especially the toy dinosaur in a dog’s Halloween costume princess dress from Benny. She absolutely squealed when she opened it, and Benny’s grin in response was one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen.

But, her gifts would keep her entertained later. For now, all she wanted to do was rip things open. So much so that you let her open your gifts for you, just to keep that excited little smile on her face. You also loved the way she’d go “oooo, look mama!” and hold up whatever was in the package. It was practically impossible to keep a smile off your face.

Everyone was in a great mood. You’d sense some tension earlier between Frankie and Santiago, when everyone was filing into the living room, but that’s disappeared. Now, happiness is practically radiating off of everyone in the room.

It’s amazing to you how comfortable you felt, how much these people felt like family when you’d been so reluctant to meet them. It seems crazy that you’ve only known them for less than two weeks when you could swear you’ve known them your entire life. You’re already dreading the return home.

But, you try not to focus on that. Instead, you focus on the fire Frankie had built in the fireplace, the chatter of your friends around you, the warm press of Santiago’s thigh against your own, and the excited grin of your daughter. You couldn’t be happier.

Once all of the gifts had been opened and Frankie had gone into full dad mode and cleaned up all of the wrapping paper and gift bags, the girls scampered off to play with their new goodies while you and the rest of the adults stayed in the living room.

You truly couldn’t remember the last time a holiday had been like this, all fuzzy and warm and full of laughter and people you cared about. As much as you enjoyed it, you were more grateful that Inez was able to experience it, the big get-together with all the warm, happy feelings.

You spend the rest of the afternoon snacking and chatting, tuning in and out of the holiday movies playing quietly on the TV. Inez and Maria are completely enamored with all of their new things, even taking turns to admire each other’s prizes.

It’s past dinner time when the Morales’ finally kick you out so they can do their yearly FaceTime call with Sofia’s family, who’s schedules never align for an in-person holiday. Benny heads back to Will and Sydney’s with you, but Santiago returns to his own house, waving off Will’s invitations to join you.

“He likes being in bed by eight,” Benny jokes as you’re walking towards your cars, earning a middle finger from Santi. You laugh at the joke, but you can’t help the little ache in your chest at the thought of Santiago returning to nothing but his dog. And, deeper down, the thought that he’d rather do that than spend more time with you.

You know you’re being dramatic, so you shake that thought away as soon as it comes, not allowing it to fester and grow into some ugly beast. You turn your mind away from Santiago, something you find yourself doing more and more often, and instead focus on making the rest of the day as perfect as possible.

Once you’re back at the house, you usher Inez upstairs for an early bath before changing her into the most festive, coziest pajamas she owns. Returning back downstairs once you’ve changed into your own comfy clothes, you find that Sydney’s set up plenty of snacks and drinks for you to spend the rest of the night watching movies.

The excitement of the day finally catching up with her, Inez is asleep before the first movie is over, her head resting on your lap and her body nestled between you and Benny. Instead of bringing her upstairs and potentially waking her up, you keep her with you, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back to keep her asleep.

Benny leaves around 11, so he helps you haul Inez off of your lap and into your arms before he heads home and you and Inez head up to bed after saying goodnight to Sydney and Will. Miraculously, she stays asleep the entire transfer from couch to bed, even as you maneuver her out of your arms and onto her side of the bed.

You fall asleep soon after your head hits the pillow, exhausted from the day behind you and the even longer day ahead. You know that Inez will wake you at the crack of dawn, too excited to see what Santa brought to even entertain the idea of more sleep.

Sleep finds you quickly, and the man in your dreams shares a shocking resemblance to Santiago, but it doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything.

Tags: @disabledameron @andromeda-dear @loonymagizoologist @campingwiththecharmings @stevenngrant @itspdameronthings @welcometostayingawake @outmodead @pakhiya @wand-erer5

[jerzwriter]

Thankful

Book:                   Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing:                Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan)

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            Holiday/Fluff

Summary:           Ethan and Kaycee’s Thanksgiving plans go awry, but they end up going better than they could have ever planned.

Words:                 2400

A/N:                    My babies are out and celebrating this Thanksgiving! I’m participating in @choicesflashfics the prompt is highlighted below.  Also participating in @choices-november2022 – Day 13 – Try something new.  😊

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

It was a grey November morning. The morning after the mercury hit freezing for the first time this season, and while the forecast didn’t call for it, it felt like snow. In other words, the perfect day to stay in bed. 

Ethan grumbled as he woke, without the aid of an alarm clock for once. Rolling over, he wrapped his warm arms around Kaycee, who smiled and cooed in response. 

“Good morning,” he mumbled groggily into her ear.  

“Good morning,” she smiled, rolling over to face him. “You didn’t go for your morning jog?”

“It’s a good day to stay in and snuggle.”

“Every day is a good day for that! Come on, Ethan, join me on the dark side. We have cookies!”  

“I’ll give it consideration,” he laughed. “But, speaking of cookies, should I bake the cranberry walnut ones you like later today? We really have to get ready for Thanksgiving?”

Her eyes lit up. “Ooh, I do like those. But since it’s just going to be the two of us, we’ll be fine with my pumpkin pie.”

“Have I mentioned how glad I am it’s just you and me? Both off, a quiet day at home….”

“…watching the parade, taking it easy, we can stuff ourselves silly.”

“We could eat naked.”

“I mean, if you really want to,” Kaycee laughed. She leaned over to kiss him gently when the alarm began to blast. Collapsing onto his chest, she groaned. “Of course! It was too good to last!”

“Think on the bright side. We have many mornings like this in front of us.”

“Mornings where I get you to skip your morning jog? Doubtful!”

“Hey, I promise. Now, let’s get ready for work.”

~~~~~ 

Kaycee was confident their relationship being out in the open would never lose its novelty. Walking down the hallway with Ethan at her side and no worry about veering just a little too close, was more exhilarating than she had anticipated. But nothing topped when they reached his office each day, then he’d turn and give her a little peck on the cheek before she moved on. Every time he did that, she wanted to skip down the hallway like a lovesick teenager, and the fact that she could contain it was a source of great pride.

She stopped at the nurses’ station to pick up her assignments and was delighted to find Sienna.

“Hey, stranger,” Kaycee smiled. “I’ve missed you!”

 “I miss you too. I honestly don’t know why you pay rent anymore. You should just move in with Ethan already.”

“In time,” Kaycee winked as she plopped into the chair next to her friend. “In time. So, what’s new?”

“Not a thing.”

“Oh, come now, something must be going on.”

But when Sienna looked up, her eyes told Kaycee all she needed to know. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good. She placed a gentle hand on her friend’s wrist and implored her to share.

“I’m just… lonely. I’ve been working around the clock, and the apartment is almost always empty these days. Jackie is heading home for the holiday, and Elijah and I are on opposite schedules. It’s usually just Aurora and me, but she’s spending a lot of time at her aunt’s since her parents and grandparents are visiting for Thanksgiving.”

“Will you be joining them?”

“They invited me, but I’m not sure. I’m working anyway,” she shrugged.

“You are? I thought the pediatric interns had it covered?”

“I volunteered. I may as well, they had plans, and I didn’t.”

“Then we have to get dinner this weekend,” Kaycee insisted. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

“As if I could ever say no to you anyway.”

~~~~~ 

Ethan was reviewing a journal in his office when Tobias came strutting in, making himself comfortable at the seat in front of Ethan’s desk.

“What are you doing here?” Tobias asked. “I figured you’d be gearing up for Thanksgiving.”

“It’s just Kaycee and me this year; not much work to do.”

“Ah, just the two of you… nice!” Tobias chuckled. “At least we know that drumstick will get lots of gravy.”

“You know you’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah, it’s part of my charm.”

“What about you? Headed to DC?”

“Nah.  Mom’s spending the holiday in Cancun this year. She’s got a new boyfriend.”

“So, what will you be doing?”

“Working.”

“Why? I know I had you off schedule?”

“Yeah, well… I’ve got no plans… and no one to spend it with. So,” he shrugged. “I may as well come in.”  

“Are you reconsidering settling down with someone,” Ethan smirked.

“Nah,” Tobias grinned. “Let’s not get crazy. But, it would be nice if… you know, never mind.”

“No, what were you going to say.”

“It’s nothing,” Tobias insisted, gazing at his pager. “Gotta split, boss; I’m needed in post-op. Have a nice holiday if I don’t see you.”

~~~~~

Ethan was looking for Kaycee, and based on the time, he knew she’d be making a fresh cup of coffee in the breakroom. He smiled when he walked in and proved himself right. 

“I know,” Kaycee said, wrapping up a call. “But we’ll be down for Christmas; it’ll be here before you know it. Please tell Dad I love him too.”

Ethan could see the tension on Kaycee’s face, so he took her hand as he sat beside her.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I just feel a little… guilty. My mom is feeling down, it’s the first Thanksgiving we won’t spend together, and she’s… blue.”

“And you?”

Kaycee cupped his cheek in her hand with a soft smile. “We have our plans, and I’m looking forward to them. But….”

“I know exactly what you mean,” he finished. “I had the same conversation with my dad earlier.”

“Wait, Alan isn’t going to be alone, is he?”

“No, he’s joining Naveen, but it feels odd knowing he’s coming to Boston for Thanksgiving, but it won’t be with me.”

They both looked down in silence, then blurt out in unison, “Do you think we should….”

Kaycee laughed at how in tune they had become.

“Thanksgiving… just us and our parents?”  

“That sounds perfect,” Ethan grinned. “We have that huge turkey anyway; there’s no way we’d eat it all anyway.”

“Speak for yourself, buster. I plan on eating my weight in mashed potatoes on Thursday!”

“I don’t blame you,” he agreed. “My mashed potatoes are phenomenal.”

“Everything you make is phenomenal. Speaking of which, maybe you should make those cookies after all, and I’ll make a second pumpkin pie.”

“Really? Do you think that’s necessary?”

“Ethan. It’s Thanksgiving, and if I don’t go up a dress size, it means it was a failure.”

“Then, by all means, another pie it is.”

~~~~~

“You are such a bonehead. I can’t believe I agreed to this!”

“You know, Jackie. It’s almost Thanksgiving. A little gratitude would be nice. I’m saving you the cost of a taxi.”

“You know what, meathead, suddenly the $30 seems like a bargain.”

“Children…” Kaycee interrupted, “What did I tell you about fighting in the hallways! You frighten the patients.”

“Nah,” Bryce smiled, “They think we’re their own personal sitcom.”

“I can see why!” Kaycee chuckled. “So when do you two head out?”

“Tomorrow night,” Jackie informed. “I just hope the weather holds out. It really looks like snow.”

“The forecast isn’t calling for it,” Kaycee replied.

“Yeah,” Jackie sighed, “But meteorology is not a perfect science.”

“We’ll be fine, Jackie,” Brice insisted. “This time tomorrow, I’ll be on the way to catching a wave in Hawaii, and you’ll be heading to your parents… missing me desperately.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s what I’ll be doing.”

Kaycee shook her head at her friends. “OK, you two, I have to get going, but give me a big Thanksgiving hug, I’m off tomorrow, so I won’t see you again.”

“Lucky,” Jackie teased. “Are these the benefits of sleeping with your boss?”

Kaycee smiled as she walked away, “Bye, Jackie!”

~~~~~

Thanksgiving day arrived, and Ethan’s kitchen was in disarray. It was delightful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. 

Ethan chuckled at Kaycee as he chopped celery. Sitting at the table with a cup of ‘comfort eggnog’ in hand, she was still weepy from seeing Santa arrive at the Macy’s parade.

“You hanging in there, hon?” He asked.

“Mmm, hmmm,” she assured. “One more sip and I’m reporting for duty.”

“There’s really no need,” Alan insisted. A freak storm led him and her parents to come to Boston the night before. “You hadn’t planned on having extra hands here, so you go relax a little.”

Kaycee looked at him mischievously, her eyes narrowed into slits. “You’re just nervous having me in the kitchen! Be brave enough to admit it!”

“That may be part of it,” he grinned.

“Can’t say I blame you there,” Rose chimed in.

Ethan smiled sympathetically in her direction. “Sweetheart, it seems your reputation precedes you.”

Kaycee stuck her tongue out at all of them. “I’m going to help! It’ll keep my mind off Jackie & Bryce. I’m worried about them flying in this weather.”

“They’re flying?” Ethan asked. “In this weather, they’ll probably be grounded.”

“Not yet,” she said with a worried tone. “But look at this! The news says parts of Cambridge are without power.”

“Oh! And on Thanksgiving Day!” Rose lamented.

“Is Harper’s area impacted?” Ethan asked. “Her whole family is there.”

“Hard to say, but it appears so.”

“We’re very fortunate that we’re all here together,” Naveen said, handing everyone a glass of wine.

“Hear, hear,” Alan agreed.

After putting the last side dishes in the oven, Kaycee sat on the couch and scrolled through Instagram to unwind. 

The first post was a photo of Sienna and her family from a Thanksgiving long ago. “Missing each of these people so much today.” Kaycee could just feel her sadness. She looked up to find Ethan glancing at his phone poignantly.

“Sienna’s post?” she asked.

“No, Tobias. We’re texting, and he reminded me about one year when we were at Hopkins. The weather was so bad I couldn’t get back to Providence, so he invited me to dinner with his family in DC.”

“That must have been a far more formal affair than you were used to.”

“I wouldn’t know; we never made it. The roads were too bad in Baltimore, too. After sliding around for a half-hour, we decided to turn around. That’s when his car got stuck in a snow bank.”

“Oh no!”

“Oh, yes! We walked the rest of the way to our apartment in the middle of the storm. We stopped at the convenience store along the way and our Thanksgiving dinner. Two cans of turkey noodle soup, two freezer-burned turkey pot pies, some cranberry juice, and Ring-Dings for dessert.”

“That’s horrible!”

“No,” Ethan smiled wistfully, “It was one of the most fun, memorable Thanksgivings of my life.”

Naveen walked into the living room, shaking his head. “Harper called. She and her family are heading to the Wyndham hotel next to Edenbrook. At least they’ll be warm, and if lucky, they can order room service.”

“That’s terrible!” Kaycee frowned. “It seems everyone’s Thanksgiving has been ruined this year except for ours.”

Ethan looked at her sadly. “I take it Jackie and Bryce didn’t get on their flight?”  

“Nope. It was delay after delay, then all flights were canceled.”

“Oh my!” Naveen stated. “Do they have other plans now?”

“They don’t,” Kaycee fretted. “They’re just trying to get home now.”

Ethan reached over and took Kaycee’s hand. “Where are Elijah and Raf?”

“Working. Same shift as Sienna and Tobias,” she replied when a lightbulb went off. She looked up at Ethan, who was staring directly at her, and they could read each other’s minds.

“We have entirely too much food anyway,” he said.

“And the hospital’s just two blocks away. We could walk there….”

“No need,” Ethan interrupted. “The roads to the hospital are always the first to be cleared. We could load the food in the car and be there in no time.”

“We could set the food up in the team’s office and eat there….”

The two turned to Alan, Naveen, and Casey’s parents. “Would you mind?” Ethan asked.

Alan smiled back. “Honestly, son. We were hoping you’d make this decision.”

“Come on, David,” Rose said with a slap to her husband’s leg. “Let’s go wrap up some food!”

~~~~

Within an hour, a conference table was transformed into a smorgasbord, and an office into a warm dining room, filled with chatter, laughter, and, most of all, love.   

“Holy crap!” Tobias yelled as a snow-covered Bryce and Jackie sauntered in. “Who invited the abominable snowman to this thing?”

“Very funny,” Bryce grimaced. “We had to walk ten blocks in this. The car couldn’t make it.”

“And he cried like a baby for five of those ten blocks,” Jackie groused.

“Really, Jackie? Can you feel any of your outer extremities?”

“Nope, and it’s probably for the best.”

“Here,” Ethan said, handing them each a hot toddy. “this will warm you up.”

“Cute,” Jackie smiled. “But I’ll take a coffee and then a tequila.”

Sienna ran over and took the drink out of Jackie’s hand. “In that case, give me yours!”

“But you’re not cold! I should get that!” Bryce insisted.

“Nope,” Sienna grinned, “But Ethan’s been using that expensive brandy, and this girl is on a budget. So let go, Lahela!”

Kaycee joined Ethan and slid her hand into his. “Have you heard from Harper?”

“Yes. She and her family are coming over. Do you think we have enough food?”

“More than enough.”

��Hey,” Tobias yelled, “if we run low, we can always run to the 7-11 for some freezer-burned pot pies!”

“I think some things are best left in our med school years, Tobias.”

This is wonderful,” Kaycee beamed. “Everyone is so happy.”

“They sure are.”

“And you,” she asked. “I know people aren’t exactly your thing.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” he smiled. “You’re a person.”

“Correction,” she laughed. “People other than me usually aren’t your thing.”

“That’s OK,” he said, pulling her into a hug, “It’s true. I’ve never done something like this before, but it’s nice.”

“It’s not the Thanksgiving we planned, but it is wonderful.”

“It really is,” he agreed. “But I do have a question.”

“Sure.”

“When we get home, can we still make use of my drumstick tonight?”

“Oh, you’ve been such a good boy. I think we’ll have extra servings,” she laughed.

“Now, that is the perfect way to end this. Happy Thanksgiving, Rookie.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Ethan.”

@choicesholidays

[itssoinevitable]

Hiii 👋 I just wanted to say I’ve been a fan of your blog since the good ole Downton Days and I’m so chuffed you’re a ACGAS fan too! Tbf right now the fandom is super down in the dumps (me included). How are you remaining so positive since Audrey x Gerald development in the Christmas Special?

Hi Anon! Thanks for your message, and happy holidays! So nice to hear from our old Downton Abbey crew again, I think a lot of us migrated here.

To be honest, there are a few reasons I’m not worried. (Sorry, it’s long).

1) Because I honestly love Siegfried and Audrey as friends and surrogate family. Their bond is special and beautiful, whether or not it ever becomes romantic. (Although I hope it does). They are life partners, involved in all the most important parts of each other’s lives. They have coparented Tristan (and James and Jess), they’re each other’s confidant and source of comfort. That’s special in and of itself.

2) Because I actually think they’re playing the (really, really) long game with them. I could be wrong, but that seems to be what the writers are doing. It seems quite intentional. 3 years on screen together may seem a while for some, and I suppose she’s been his housekeeper for around 7 years so it feels like ages. But imo, the best slow burns imo are the ones where you’re never quite sure if they will or won’t. It’s the little crumbs they leave scattered here and there, it’s the longing looks and angsty build up that makes it so delicious tbh. I just hope they get renewed for enough seasons to see it through. (Plus I am a Carson & Mrs Hughes fan, so 3 seasons doesn’t feel that long! Lol)

3) And lastly, because I don’t actually think they’re ready to be together yet. They’re still in the process of getting there.

Siegfried has probably had to longest way to go, in terms of being emotionally ready to realise, admit and accept that he has feelings for his housekeeper. In Season 1, he opened himself up to intimacy and the possibility of love again. He did that with Dorothy and then Diana, (although who knows why she’s been such a non-entity this last season. Maybe the actress wasn’t available?) And now, at the end of S3, he literally just resolved one of his biggest character arcs - his complex relationship and feelings for Tristan (and even then, only with a lot of encouragement and support from Audrey). He’s emotionally levelled up.

Now, I think it’s Audrey’s turn. Gerald befriending her/ pursuing her has allowed her to imagine she could be with someone again, after leaving her husband. It helps her relationship with Edward is also on the mend, since that’s been a source of so much guilt and pain for her. As for her feelings toward Gerald, they do seem to have deepened somewhat suddenly. I know some people said it felt very out of blue considering she had friendzoned him. But maybe she liked him all along and simply didn’t feel she could be more than friends, much as she wanted to. Or maybe it was brought on by the war, and him moving away. Either way, I think he’s a good man, simple and uncomplicated, which is just what she needs as she’s testing the waters of romance again. I think he’s also serving as a catalyst for Siegfried to realise the depth of his feelings for Audrey, which is v exciting imo.

Siegfried is also a good man, but things with him are as ever, more complicated. Their status as employer and employee, and long time friends also raises the stakes a lot more. Considering she’s a lot more self-aware, I think Mrs Hall knows she might have certain feelings for Siegfried (seemed a bit disapproving / jealous of his relationships) but I don’t think she has considered it could go anywhere. I feel that this budding relationship with Gerald will be pivotal in a shift between them. It might motivate her to get her divorce from Mr Hall, and resolve that source of pain from her past, too.

TL;DR All that said, I think they’re getting where to need to be, and I think we should enjoy the journey. It’ll be all the more sweet if and when it happens.

[jamieaiken919]

Since it's already November and the Christmas Spirit's already in the air, I'm quite curious of what you and the Edwards do for Christmas 🥺💖🎄

(okay we need a color key here lmao- pink is me, purple is ultimis Edward, and blue is primis Edward!)

“Okay, so I know you sent this before the whole f/ovember thing started, but since you asked it at the beginning of the month, I don’t wanna let it sit unanswered. SO! I figure, why not let the boys answer this themselves?”

*both primis and ultimis edward look at each other, primis with an expression of irritation, and ultimis with what can only be described as a shit eating grin*

“Play nice, both of you!”

“Why, Liebchen, have you ever known me not to play nice?”

“Isn’t that your entire brand?”

“What did just I say?”

*primis Edward leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of my head* “Für dich, Liebling.”

“Anyway! Before that little display, I believe we had a question to answer. And since my other self is preoccupied-“

“I am not preoccupied!”

“-I’ll take it upon myself to answer first.” Ultimis smirks at his counterpart, who only rolls his eyes. “As your question suggests, my dear Shin, Julia does start feeling the Christmas spirit very early in the season. If it were up to her, the tree would be up at the start of September.”

“If we’re fully honest, she would leave it up year round.”

“…yes, that is true…” The two share a laugh, before ultimis continues. “She’s not as big on Halloween as some of her friends are, so once it hits the first of November, she’s beyond ready to start decorating.”

“It’s a comfort for her,” Primis explains, with ultimis nodding for him to continue. “She once told me that this has always been her favorite season, since she was very young, and so the process of decorating and the atmosphere of it all is a tremendous comfort for her.”

“The opposite of seasonal depression.”

“We’ve taken to helping her decorate around the house- especially the outdoor decorations she’s unable to do on her own.”

“Neither one of us want to see her hurt trying to put out lights, so she directs us and we do the hard part.”

“Not that she doesn’t try.”

*a feminine voice pops up from a distance* “I don’t blame you guys for not trusting me on a ladder, honestly.”

“We worry for you, liebchen, there’s a difference.”

“Aside from the decorating…” Ultimis thinks for a moment, before a grin comes to his face. “We also enjoy out share of holiday baking, don’t we, Edward?”

“Having three people with a sweet tooth in the kitchen is a bit of an amusing scene, if I’m honest.”

“Why do you think I always make extra cookie dough? So we can eat it while the actual cookies are baking.”

“Not advisable from a health safety perspective-“

“Hey, I get pasteurized eggs, we’re fine.”

“The house is always full of Christmas baking… it’s a reminder of home. And… family.”

*the two share a glance, an expression of somber understanding passing between them, and they both clear their throats before continuing*

“Anyway. Of course, theres so much more we could speak of, but this has already gotten quite long as is.”

“Not that I mind talking about myself.”

“This wasnt about you, you insufferable-“

“Let me know if theres more you wanna know! Im gonna separate these two before they start bickering again…”

[writebackatya]

How about a director’s cut for Home for the Holidays? How did you decide on the different kinds of stories you wrote for it? Are there any story ideas for it that you wanted to do but didn’t get to?

Oh my gosh, there are so many stories I didn’t get to finish that didn’t make the cut! But the good news is that I’m not done with Home for the Holidays! will most likely add more stories next December! I might try to get some of these done throughout the year so I can have some ready by December

So I really love the holiday season. And I just really wanted to capture the different wonderful feelings that I get during that time of the year when I do certain things with the people I love

DuckTales has a huge found family with their own found families within that found family and I just figured it’d be fun to highlight that with various holiday things

The first story, When Siblings Reunite! is all about being reunited with your loved ones. To me this had to be the first story in the anthology. One because this is a post-canon story (I love making those) and we all know Donald went on that sea voyage with Daisy and Webby’s two sisters and now I have a reason why they’re here! They’re visiting Home for the Holidays! Hey that’s the name of the fanfic! And I wanted the first story to center around the core family of DuckTales, the McDucks and the Ducks. I myself have a lot of siblings and cousins and I always love those moments when we get together over the holidays and meet up and just start talking with one another. Like a million conversations can happening at once and yet somehow we can all follow along with what everyone is saying. It’s great

The second story, The Gift of the Mad Sci(entist)s! has the work found family, Team Science! I wanted to do a story that involved a Secret Santa and I figured Team Science would be a perfect group to do that with, generic office Christmas party and all!

The third story, It’s All Downhill from Here! was inspired by one of my favorite activities to do with my family on Christmas Day, sledding. Almost every Christmas my family would go to our grandma’s house and if there was enough snow on the ground, my sibs and my cousins would go to this hill at this school near her house where we’d go sledding. I always had fun doing that. I really wanted this one to have all the kids from the show: The Duck boys, Webby and her sisters, Lena and Violet, Gosalyn, and B.O.Y.D. They all deserve to have winter fun

Finally, we got Christmas Rapping! and I gotta be honest, when it comes to karaoke, I rarely like to sing. I don’t mind watching though. Karaoke is a staple for holiday parties and honestly parties in general. But since this is a holiday themed fanfic I decided the song to be sung was my personal favorite Christmas song, Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC (Also the title is a reference to my second favorite Christmas song, Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses) Picking the two characters to sing it was a no-brainer for me. Della because it’s well established she’s an 80s/90s kid and would totally jam out to that song. Fenton was picked because we never got to hear him sing on the show and I just like to think he’s secretly a really gifted rapper. And we gotta have Dewey’s DJ Daft Duck hosting this thing. And since Della, Fenton, and Dewey are performing this song we might as well put Penumbra, Gandra, and Gosalyn together reacting to everything. They’re fun characters that would totally play off each other well

Cut stories will be after the break:

So many stories. Hopefully I can actually get some of these done this year:

I really wanted to do a Hanukkah related story starring the Mallard family. We saw Launchpad wearing a Hanukkah sweater in the Christmas episode, he’s Jewish. I also headcanon Drake as Jewish. At least I was able to show Gosalyn representing Hanukkah in Christmas Rapping! with her sweater

You know how the first story ended with the two sets of triplets going to frost cookies? Well I thought of doing a story that would be them just frosting and decorating cookies, but I couldn’t start it for some reason

You know how Donald gets into a lot of comedic slapstick in everything he’s ever been in? Especially during those moments when he gets waaaayyy too cocky? Well anyway, one story would involve Donald decking the halls of McDuck Manor; and Della and Louie cannot wait to see what will happen when Donald tells Uncle Scrooge that he will single handedly decorate the house himself since this’ll be the first year he won’t have to worry about any Santa traps

Here’s a fun fact about Home for the Holidays!, I decided that I would write this anthology fic while I was watching the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode where Joel & the Bots watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Anyway, one story idea I had was one where Louie, Lena, Gosalyn, and Gandra are all watching The Courage of the Cosmos Christmas Special and making fun of the cheesy 80s Christmas TV special. B.O.Y.D. is also there

I had a few heartwarming fluff story ideas that would involve first Christmases with some groups. One of which would be Gyro visiting the Drakes on Christmas Eve. Another would be about Santa’s first visit back to McDuck Manor one year after The Night Santa Stole Christmas! (things might get a little shippy~). And another would be about Gandra spending Christmas Eve with the Cabreras

Back to the funny stuff, one story I REALLY wanna do will star Louie and it’s about him trying to have a quiet Christmas only to be constantly interrupted by Christmas related adventures his family is currently having. This story will have two parts and I cannot wait to write the second part of the story

Lastly, I got a story idea based on entirely on the song by Garfunkel and Oates, aka May and Webby’s voice actors, Present Face:

In this story will we see many different characters get a case of Present Face

Thanks again for the ask @tokuvivor! I hope you have a Merry Oh My God I Can’t Believe February is Almost Over!

[artificialqueens]

Looking At The Lights (JeLa) - Divine

A/N: I’m back again with another Christmas fic! This time inspired by Looking At The Lights. I’ve been hoping for them to release it since hearing it live, and after a year its finally out, anyways enjoy this lil JeLa hurt/comfort. :) CW: mention of death

***

As daylight savings came to an end the one hour difference felt like hundreds, typically it didn’t bother DeLa, she’d always been the type to enjoy the holidays. Hell she usually pulled out her Christmas tree November 1st, only for Jinkx, her best friend to get her to compromise with the night of Thanksgiving, though she always managed to convince Jinkx to help her put it up early. So when DeLa didn’t call her the night of Halloween expressing her excitement for the upcoming jolly season, she was alarmed, though knowing DeLa was a lightweight she thought she might’ve drank herself into a deep slumber, but she didn’t get a call the next morning either, just a normal good morning text. Jinkx brought it upon herself to FaceTime her best friend, while it was ringing she’d remembered that her nana had passed about three years ago now, from eating mistletoe of all things, but DeLa hadn’t been the same since, hadn’t been as jolly, though she attempted to put on a front, Jinkx could tell she hadn't enjoyed it the same since, only putting up tree, not traveling back home and forcing Jinkx along to spend the holidays with her family. Teena and Jinkx had been going to her home instead. DeLa answered the phone completely ready for the day as usual at the early hour only, she didn't seem as bubbly as usual. 

“Hey Dink.” She smiled, sipping her coffee. 

“No Christmas decor recruitments this morning?” Jinkx questions. DeLa’s smile fades the smallest bit as she shakes her head. 

“No, I think I’ll wait until December this year.” 

“Well that’s not like you at all, you don’t want to drag me out to the mall to all those pop up christmas shops to buy new ornaments? No new seasonal bath and body works hauls? I was actually looking forward to it this year.” 

“No.. well, not no, just not right now. I’m sure it’ll be fun when the time gets here though! Sorry to disappoint ya Dink-a-doo…” 

Jinkx frowns a little and hums, it was so strange to see the life of the party, the biggest smile in the room, be so sad, it hurt, she loved DeLa, she was probably her favorite person, despite their bickering. She wanted to see her smile, and make her laugh, which was surprisingly hard to do considering DeLa was always so busy making other people laugh she tended to always just wear a smile on her face as she tried to think of her next joke to make Jinkx cackle. 

“Are you okay with me coming over? I wanna get this whole thing kickstarted for ya.” 

“I mean, I’m not doing anything, but I’d need to clean first-“

“Oh don’t stress about it, I'll help you.” Jinkx assured her, DeLa sighs, finally giving in.

“Alright… I’ll put on some tea or something for when you get here.”

“Okay, I’ll head over right away.” Jinkx says before smooching the phone.

After finishing their goodbyes, they both hung up. DeLa was so stressed decorating was honestly the last thing she wanted to think about. She didn’t know if losing her grandmother was the only thing dragging her down so much, but more so how much the loss was affecting everyone in her family, and how everyone was expecting her to be the light at the end of some sort of depressive tunnel. While she was happy she could provide that happiness for her family, but at the same time it made her feel as if she had to hide and shelter her own feelings for their sake. 

Teena wasn’t very fond of their Nana, being the only goth in the family, moving to Chicago, refusing to follow their traditions and religion really pushed her away from them, so when she passed she was bummed but not necessarily devastated, but didn’t want to be around her family more than she had to be, she paid her respects at the funeral, but didn’t stick around for the family reunion afterwards, rather walked the neighborhood with her little sister, who was much more hurt than she was, to comfort her. Even then she expressed her fears of having to be the one to keep everyone in good spirits for the next few months or years.

Over time it had really started to work her down more through the holidays, the first year was awful, everyone was in tears, nothing felt the same, everything felt so out of order, it was so bad that DeLa announced she wouldn’t be coming home for next Christmas, that she’d rather spend it at her own home, her family didn’t appreciate her choice and called her selfish for not wanted to spend this special time of year with her family and loved ones, it hurt her to hear them all blow up on her like that, she’d never really been a negative center of attention before. She remembered having to gather her things and walk through the snow out to her car in tears with her sister and Jinkx on the phone, weeping about how she’d basically been fully isolated because of a single decision. The next two years she’d spent them at home, and didn’t feel up to it this year. 

Jinkx arrived at DeLa’s cozy vintage house, and knocked on the door, after only a short moment the door opened and DeLa smiled up at her long time friend before pulling her into a tight hug. Jinkx smiles while hugging DeLa.

“Alright honey, let’s get you in the holiday spirit, but first I’ll help you clean up.” She says walking in with her arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

DeLa’s messy was never actually messy, usually consisted of just putting things back in their place, not real mess, but she was a little surprised to see their was dishes that needed to be cleaned, shoes scattered across the living room and a few unpacked burlesque bags from shows, nothing terrible, just out of character. Jinkx plopped DeLa down on the couch before pushing the curtains open and began cleaning up, DeLa was embarrassed and felt bad, telling Jinkx she could do the cleaning and that it wasn’t the gingers responsibility, but Jinkx insisted, hair pulled up into a messy bun as she strolled around the house as if it were her own, she’d been there enough times that she knew it as well as her own home, she knew where everything went, where to find cleaning supplies. After loading up and starting the dishwasher she went over to DeLa who was curled up on the couch and was watching Jinkx’s every move.

“I'm gonna go put up these costumes and props, you go ahead and go get your Christmas stuff out of the basement okay? And we can decorate together.” Jinkx smiles. 

DeLa nod before standing up, Jinkx’s smile fades a little, maybe her frowning a bit worried was dramatic, but she just wanted her best friend to be okay. She took the bags into the packed burlesque room and began sorting through them and placing them where they belonged, it took just as long as it took DeLa to haul up her large totes full of Christmas decorations. When she stepped out to the living room she saw DeLa now kneeling on the floor, looking through the totes slowly, perhaps looking too sad as she was sulking in the glitter so much that when Jinkx turned Christmas music on using Alexa she’d jumped.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Now let's see what we’ve got here. Shall we start with the tree or.. err everything else? You’ve got a process don’t you?” Jinkx questions. 

DeLa thought for a moment before digging through a tote, mostly stockings, the tree skirt, other soft things, she pulled out a binder from the bottom, flipping it open revealing a list, trimmed in festive doodles, glued onto a piece of red construction paper, and laminated, Jinkx looked over her shoulder scanning the list..

SWITCH 

-wall decor (replace fall decor for winter, hang stockings)

-rugs, pillows, blankets, etc

-figurines 

-candles 

-wallflowers 

CHRISTMAS TREE TIME!!!! 

-lights

-garland

-ornaments 

-star

-tree skirt 

OUTSIDE: 

-“hang lights” (just plug them realistically those things never get taken down)

-put our lawn reindeer lights

-switch wreaths 

-wrap stair banisters and rails with garland

“Hmm.. detailed list.” Jinkx says, honestly impressed. 

“Thank you, I laminated it so I can just use a dry erase marker and reuse it every year.” She smiles, a genuine smile, warm and bright, making Jinkx smile in return. 

“You’ve always been one smart cookie Dooley.” Jinkx wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulders. DeLa’s face twisted in displeasure to the nickname, but it was lighthearted. 

“Thank you Dink.” She smiles resting her head against the ginger for a moment before looking back at the list. “I guess we should get started with the walls, hm? Gotta switch out the little pumpkins for little Christmas doohickeys and stockings.”

“Let’s get started then.” 

—

It was an all day job, but alas, the house was decorated, the woodsy autumn smell had shifted to the smell of sweet sugar cookies and hits of pine. The two of them were exhausted and collapsed on the couch on top of each other, cuddling while looking at the work they’d done. It warmed DeLa’s heart to see her home festive again, but that song of sadness could still be felt deep in her chest as she thought about how happy she had been in past while setting all of this up, it felt like a chore half way through and the only reason she hadn’t given up was because Jinkx was by her side helping her through it. 

Feeling like this honestly scared DeLa. She’d never been this sad before, she hated it, she just wanted to be happy again. She felt her eyes getting heavier as she was comforted by Jinkx’s sweet honeysuckle scent, wrapped up in blankets now, her thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, but Jinkx being here somehow muffled all the mean and scary voices, soothing her with her presence. 

Jinkx noticed DeLa falling asleep, though she was fighting it. Jinkx kisses her head, pulling her a bit closer, if it were possible. Letting the woman know she was there and it was okay if she wanted to sleep, she could tell that even through her drowsiness, she was still thinking about the entire world. She just wished she could switch them off for a day, let DeLa be DeLa. Once DeLa closed her eyes, Jinkx knew she’d be trapped for at least 30 minutes as DeLa was resting on top of her, she could deal with it though.

The remote being within arm’s reach helped, she reached over and flipped through a few options on Hulu, eventually settling on family guy, again, she always found herself coming back to the raunchy cartoon. She lost interest half way through an episode at some point and started scrolling through her phone, seeing a memory from this time a few years back. The two of them, in the same house, DeLa wearing a cute Christmas pinup dress matched with red stockings, on her tiptoes, not wearing heels to help her match the gingers height, holding mistletoe over their heads as she kissed Jinkx’s cheek who was smiling warmly with her arms around her friends waist. She remembered that day, it was more fun than she’d admit at the time but she remembered Ruby and Randy had both come over to help as well, the photo was Randy’s idea. She smiles down at the screen, she knew how much she adored DeLa, she wanted her heart. Brought her so much joy, she just hoped that she was able to start getting back into those happy spirits. 

DeLa stirred a little, startling Jinkx, who looked down at her, DeLa stretched making a squeaking sound before opening her eyes looking at Jinkx confused. Jinkx giggles a little. 

“You alright there?” She questions, booping her nose. 

“Yeah.. when is it?” She questioned groggily, eyes closing again, before cracking into a smile when she heard Jinkx’s cackle. 

“Same day, just a little later, you decorated your way into a small coma.” DeLa yawns as she attempts to say “oops.” and rests her head back where it previously was. 

—

As the season continued, Jinkx was making sure to keep an extra close eye on DeLa as the season continued, making sure that if she wasn’t getting better, that she at least wasn’t getting worse. Taking her out for coffee, to look at Christmas lights, all of DeLa’s favorite things to do this time of year… it seemed to be working, but Jinkx knew DeLa was particularly good at hiding how she actually felt until she burst. 

Most of the holiday season was over, yet DeLa hadn’t forced Jinkx into listening to any terrible Christmas covers of dogs or cats meowing and barking christmas songs. Jinkx knew it was time to actually sit down and talk to DeLa about the matter, regardless of what she tried to get DeLa to have some fun, it didn’t work. She’d invited her over for some coffee and festive movies since it was snowing outside at  a violent speed, she expected for DeLa to get trapped here over the night, or would at least suggest she’d stay, for her own safety and comfort; they were cuddled up on the couch when she decided it was time to bring it up. 

“DeLa..” Jinkx says softly, after placing her mug down. DeLa turns her head and hums in confusion. Seeing Jinkx’s expression she knew it was a serious matter. 

“You’re so sad, I want to fix it, but I don’t know how. I need you to stop acting like you're okay and actually tell me what’s wrong. I don’t like when you’re like this.. I miss my happy ray of light.” Jinkx frowns, turning to face her friend. 

“I-i..” DeLa pauses, seeing the concern in Jinkx’s eyes. Her lip quivered as she started sniffling, tears following shortly after. I wanna be happy… I really do, but I just can’t get past this feeling of dread, I miss when I was happy this time of year, waiting month after month to cover my house in lights and glitter, and to force you out into the snow to play around.. I really do, but I can’t bring myself to let go of this awful feeling that I don’t even really know what is! I’m so sad, and hurt and I can’t even place it, I’ve grieved my Nana enough to realize her wrongs while she was alive, my family is bitter but over it for the most part, it’s just ever since all that happened I feel like nothing but darkness comes with this time of year!” She spewed, Jinkx pulled her sobbing friend into her arms and squeezed her tight, but as if a poor situation couldn’t get worse the harsh winds of Portland stole any and all  the physical light they had, this for some reason only made DeLa cry harder. “Even the universe is out to get me!” She weeped. 

“Shh, baby it’s okay, hang on.” Jinkx says calmly, trying to sooth DeLa before getting up and going over to the fireplace full of candles and lighting them all before going around lights the loads of candles she has throughout her home. She then grabbed a few pillows and blankets, setting them up in front of the fireplace before dragging DeLa with her, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders before sitting next to her. 

“DeLa. You mean the world to me, and I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry you don’t feel like yourself. I’m sorry I can’t take your sadness away, but denying it and pushing it down deeper isn’t going to make it go away, which I know how scary it can be. I’ve experienced this before, I wish you would’ve come to me about this sooner. I love you baby, I’ll always be here for you. There’s nothing you can do that will stop me from loving and supporting you, remember that okay? Now come here.” Jinkx opens her arms as DeLa scooted over, basically into her lap as she held her close. 

“That really means a lot to me Dink, and makes me feel better about all of this.. not completely, but knowing you’re here beside me really helps..” She starts tearing up again and sniffles. 

Jinkx smiles sympathetically before gently grabbing her face and kissing DeLa sweetly, not something they did often, this one felt different from others they’d had, but Jinkx liked the feeling, it was warmer, filled with love. Jinkx pulled away to rest her head against DeLa, surrounded by the darkness, looking at the lights.

[savvyjournaling]

December 18, 2022

A lot of the stuff I journaled today is personal so I won’t be sharing those pages. Instead, have some doodles, and one of the two tiktok songs currently stuck in my head.

I’m watching Underworld and that is my bad sketch of Kate Beckinsale’s eye. The strawberry is because while I was journaling, Bonnie wanted to play fetch with her squeaky strawberry toy.

It’s the week before Christmas and I honestly cannot wait for the holidays and the whole winter season to be over. I’m ready to go ahead and skip to March 2023.

It probably won’t be, but here’s hoping 2023 is a far better year than the last seven years🤞🏻❤️

—

Something to look forward to: I ordered an Embark DNA kit for my dog and I’m super excited to see what breeds she actually is. The people I adopted her from made claims she was part German Shepherd and part Siberian Husky, with a little wolf. I don’t believe them. They also later admitted she could be part Labrador or Malamute.

I’m betting German Shepherd, Husky, lab, but no wolf or malamute. Maybe some Collie or Spaniel but I think it’ll be a very small amount.

And I know this test is gonna tell me she’s super inbred because that family I got her from had like 30 dogs in their house that kept breeding together (those poor dogs were neglected at best).

[followmythoughts]

a gun 12/9/23

This might seem really depressive and not-me(?) but these are somewhat my real thoughts, just turned it a bit more literature(y) for the sake of this.

It’s almost Christmas. I don’t have the motivation to pour out all my thoughts, let alone write it all but I will try to; because tomorrow, I will probably forget all about this.

It’s Christmas season, it’s where the air starts to get a little bit cold and you have to double your blankets, it’s the season where families from all over the world come rejoice and celebrate the holiday. It’s Christmas, and one thing you associate with Christmas is gifts. I am not gonna lie — I am privileged. Privileged enough to ask for money whenever I want and eat properly everyday. Privileged enough to be given money, clothes and etcetera on Christmas. I am thankful, really, yet sometimes I think that it could’ve been better if they had asked me what I wanted for Christmas so I’d really get what I want. But I backtrack: because I am already blessed with gifts that some people don’t and simply do not have the privilege to have. But not for that only reason, I backtrack because what in the world would be their reaction be if I said I wanted to get a gun?

What would the looks on their face be? Horrified? Terror? Dismay? I’m unable to imagine how their facial expressions would appear in such a situation.

But please, don’t be alarmed. I don’t want a gun for reasons such as wanting to off someone or wreak havoc in this peaceful city. No, it’s simply for me. I’ve always wanted a gun ever since December 2020. That’s where my depressive season started. Dec 2020 until June 2022, I was miserable. Until now, I still am but it’s not as harsh as the past years. It’s coming back though. The depressive state is coming back.

Because of this state, I’ve always wanted a firearm. I hoped for one back then. I cried and cried, wishing that it would just magically appear under my pillow.

The reason is simply and well: you might’ve already figured it out.

Simply because if things felt like hell on earth (again) I can simply grab the gun and off myself. It is a cowardly move, because in an outsiders point of view they would think that, yeah - shouldn’t you, shouldn’t I stay positive? It’s honestly easy for you to say because you were not in my position. There was nothing worse than bawling my eyes every night and pretending stuff was okay in daylight. Pretending I was okay and not rotting inside, faking an appetite and didn’t even bother taking care of myself properly. Mentally and physically. It truly felt like hell on earth because I can still vividly remember sobbing in front of my grandmother — the person who raised me — babbling on how I was so sorry that my family had me and how I truly am sorry for all the inconveniences I have done to their life. I still feel like that sometimes. Deep down, I still do. It was fucking hell because I kept apologizing repeatedly everyday and no one knew a single thing about how I felt. I hugged a blanket tied into a knot, ready to hang but I was a coward, and all I could do was cry.

I had no one for me, not even friends. I was in a private school, and it was expensive. Yet, I stopped attending the online classes. It was my 6th grade classes. The year where I should’ve graduated properly. But I didn’t. My parents wanted me to go to high school so bad but I couldn’t because I had no grades. The school suggested to let us pay 20k for graduation or go back and retake 6th grade.

I wanted to fucking kill myself.

It was already so bad but that was the fucking catalyst. I don’t know where all this sudden depression started, it just creeped on me. Maybe if my cousin hadn’t assaulted me back then, I wouldn’t have grown so early: I wouldn’t have grown up so early, and at such a young age I already had a matured mind. It didn’t help that my younger sister was born when I was still 6 years old. The responsibilities took over my childhood. 7 years old yet I already felt 25. I was spiraling deep inside. We were already struggling financially because of the pandemic and because of me, we had to lose 20k. For what reason? For me to graduate elementary. I told them that I can just retake 6th grade and they don’t have to pay just because of my own foolishness, but the good family they are, they paid because I could’ve been left behind and they didn’t want that to happen to me. So they sacrificed money.

I just wanted to die and disappear.

That’s where the gun comes in. I desperately begged God, or whatever is up there to let me get what I want. I begged for two things: to let me go back in the past, or let a gun magically appear underneath my pillow. I was still foolish. Yes, I matured fast but I was dumb to hope that one of those wishes would come true. I wanted to go back in the past to at least experience my childhood - the one that was taken away from me - just one more time. I wanted to have a gun just so I could end my suffering. Sure 6 years old, and to get a younger sister was alright. It was a huge age gap, and I could’ve managed. But I didn’t. I didn’t know why.

But deep down, I know. I know why. I wanted to be an only child. I wanted to be pampered. I didn’t have it in me to act like an older sister to somebody when I wanted to have somebody. I wanted an older figure.


So, everything - it all stems from me, deep inside.

Why was I born such a fucked up person?

The assault, I was only 5 years old and I didn’t know anything. My cousin did. I lost my virginity at such a young age. He was the one who did it and he was old enough to know what he was doing. I sometimes think that maybe, I could’ve just dreamt it when I was a child because me and that cousin still talk up until now. And he acts normally. Maybe I made it all up? Maybe he forgot? Maybe he’s playing dumb like I am? Maybe it was just a horrible dream? If it was a dream, then why do I still remember and feel so vividly?

Thanks, ya, for being one of the reasons on how I became like this. As I’m typing this, I hear ur voice outside and it sickens me to see you act so happily, not knowing (or maybe you know) that you ruined a child’s life.

I was in such a depressive state, that I just wanted to end it all. Up until now, I still do, but this feeling isn’t as harsh as to how I felt back then. Everything changed when face to face classes returned. I was afraid at first, not knowing how to socialize but as time passed by, I warmed up. I returned to the old pandemic me. The 2019 me, the real me. But due to the pandemic, It ruined parts of me that I still can’t fix and maintain such as my teeth. It’s one of the reason of my low esteem right now. I hate the pandemic, yet it serves as an extreme comfort. The reason to why I survived the pandemic was due to my discord friends and anime. You might call me a weirdo but they were genuinely the reason to why I didn’t give up.

Fast forward to 2023 Christmas. I’m not okay. This state has been coming back lately and I feel like absolute shit these days but it’s fine. It has gotten better before. It will get better again. There are some instances, like right now, where the old me slips through and I find myself desperately begging for a gun just so when I can’t take it anymore I have the easy way out. (And traumatize my family, lol. Imagine their faces when they wake up to see myself covered in blood with a gun in my hand) It’s a coward move but thats how all I’ve learned. To be a coward. So please don’t blame me.

I’m sorry to my family. I’m so sorry that I have been an inconvenience all this time and I am a lazy worthless piece of shit but I hope you guys know that I’m trying. Mental health really is a bitch sometimes. I am trying, really. It takes time so please be patient with me. I don’t know when everything will start to get better again but I wish that someday, one day, the time will come where I don’t remember the feeling of being miserable anymore.

It has gotten better before. It will get better again.

Sincerely,

Chaessel Anne Mhae V. Arisgado

11:30 PM DECEMBER 9 2023 SATURDAY