#I just don't know. like how do I attach some sort of sign to myself that says :

[ghostboyjules]

keepin it fully 100 if I'm not touched in a way that makes me feel loved soon I may very well Lose It™

[cupids-chamber]

𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐒

Hi, so I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. This is a impromptu decision, so I don't know if I'll come back in like a day and correct myself. But I've been debating on this decision for a long time, so yea.

[ below the undercut you'll find some of my reasons for this decision, and etc, I'd be grateful if you take your time reading it. ]

I don't feel comfortable as 'Cupid', I guess it's because 'Cupid' was never supposed to be my persona, she was just an oc who's running this blog, and it was supposed to be fun, mini lore bits, or whatever, and I thought the idea was really cool back then. . up until people started calling me Cupid.

I guess overtime, I never made a serious effort to correct it, so like it just became me? But like as shit went on and on and on . . It felt weird, I guess a sort of imposter syndrome or like identity crises started forming? I . . didn't feel like myself, I guess I felt like whatever 'Cupid' was.

And as months passed with this sort of identity crises, I started questioning my personality, my interests, if my friends here truly liked me, or if I was more open or idk myself? If they'd still like me? I'm not a chronically online person, in fact I've realized pretty recently that I hate staying in one place, I love the outdoors, and if I could I'd socialize more, but I also overthink and get embarrassed easily. I don't like being on my pc 24/7, yes it's something I still do, but I feel terrible after doing so.

I actually picked up certain interests I've had in the passed again, and I've felt more like myself. I don't know, I think I've realized that my relationship with this blog has been unhealthy, it's always been unhealthy, and my identity crises was the least extreme problem I've had due to this blog.

Actually, the game, the controversies, the fights, everything I've experienced on this blog, has left lasting physical damage on my body, I can't handle anxiety, I can't handle stress, and it's because the moment I get anxiety, stressed, or begin to overthink, I get immensely nauseas, I'm stuck in the bathroom, and if I don't throw up it feels worse, I can't eat, I'm unproductive for hours if one things ticks off my anxiety. I feel unlike myself, and the thing is, I can't fix it, it's just how I'm now. I have pills I have to take for this itself, and honestly they've not been 100% helpful.

Alongside abundance of other problems, mental breakdowns, and so much more shit, this blog has truly done nothing but make everything so much worse for me. If I had one good day or week with this blog and the people around me, I can expect a month of bad in return, and there comes a point where I genuinely cannot fake confidence out of it.

I genuinely think I need to dissociate from 'Cupid', she's not me, I'm not her. As I'm typing this, I genuinely wonder, what am I truly? Up until now my identity, was what I formed through 'Cupid', and honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this, I genuinely am just . . done. I'm tired. I've tried, I have not succeeded in overcoming any problems this blog has caused me.

I think a part of me is so attached to this blog, because of 'Cupid' and of course because it helped me out of my depressive pit, but as these last few weeks pass, and I edge closer to my final year before university, I feel myself returning to that depressive pit, worse than ever . . so at that point, I can't help but ask myself, what was the point of me staying on this blog despite the clear signs and warnings for me to leave?

I really don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm really grateful for everyone who has followed this blog, who have given me the chance to improve my writing. I guess it's time for a genuine goodbye? Because as I'm writing this, I don't really plan on coming back and that's the honest truth, with every hiatus I try and dance around a final goodbye but after this week I genuinely think this is the best decision for myself.

Note : Kindly do not call refer to me as 'Cupid', or anything if you plan on responding and if you do want to remain in contact with me, please message me for my new discord account. I probably won't respond fast as I try and maintain a distance from this account and don't bother contacting me on discord, I'm taking a break from the account as well <3

[jyeshindra]

The Folly of a Water Sign

Hey folks. The Cancer Full Moon just passed and I'm feeling heavy and watery and emotional. What better way to process than to reflect on our aquatic feelers of the zodiac?

As a sidereal Pisces/Scorpio combo, I have a pretty good understanding of water energy and exactly how our energy gets so fucked up. Water is...formless. It's shifting, or being poured into, or being diluted, or being mixed with others. It is both infinite and deep. Both independent and exposed. We are everywhere, in everything, and connected to everyone. Scorpio is probably the best at hiding their softness and Pisces the least. I presume all three are a bit too raw for the world. Too aware of what dwells in their hearts. So what is our folly? I believe our karma has a lot to do with boundaries, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution. We must learn about our own emotions and how we use those emotions to respond to situations or affect our path. What we deserve, like all humans, is to be happy, to experience joy, and to free ourselves from situations that do not serve us. It is the path to learning such things that we of water find our challenge and our lesson. For water, it's often a matter of emotional investment. Where is that emotional energy going? What you put your heart into will either serve you or hurt you tenfold. If discernment is not implemented, if there is no self-awareness, then you will remain stuck in harmful cycles. Scorpio can be so attached to an outcome, to success, and to achievement. Pisces can be indulgent and too forgiving. Too caught up in whims to lay two steady feet on the ground. Cancer is so attached to what they feel they won't make room for anything else. We're sentimental and emotional--liable to get stuck on feelings and people and moments and substances and habits. Our other achilles heel, victimhood is alive in the shadow of each water sign. We all at one point or another shout into the void and demand some sort of validation for our pain and misery. It must be something else. It must be them or that thing that happened four years ago or this person who never showed up for me. And what to say of Forgiveness? Pisces excels at this, to the detriment of their own soul. Contemplating forgiveness merely leads me down an equally challenging path and I fear for both myself and the water signs who don't learn this. What is forgiveness? Is it for me or for you? Do I need to know why I forgive you? Does forgiveness mean betraying myself? Is forgiveness even guaranteed? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I'm trying to figure it out myself. And so, I release this letter into the ether. To my fellow water sign brethren and all those who are lost on their way home, I invite you to pray and reflect with me. There are years of questions, and years of answers. I await the answers.

-jyeshindra

[eightyonekilograms]

What are the left-NIMBYs' policy positions? What are the YIMBY policy positions? I mean I know what they are in a broad sense (more regulation on constructing housing vs. less), but I'm curious to know in more detail. Obviously some regulation is good (living in California, I'm glad there are standards for earthquake safety), and some is bad (I'm generally against single-use zoning for a bunch reasons you probably agree with). The basic supply and demand stuff and how it affects the cost of housing is obvious enough to me, but the weeds of how specifically regulations should be changed in light of this seems like a more complex issue.

I don't identify as either a NIMBY or a YIMBY; this discourse is somewhat foreign to me, but I probably have some mixture of NIMBY-sympathetic and YIMBY-sympathetic positions, and I'm interested in getting a better picture of the details of the debate from someone who clearly knows a lot about it.

Also as an aside, if you have any good sources of information you can recommend on the present state of housing policy in San Francisco, and/or how it's changed over the years, I'd be very interested in them.

At least from my POV, left-NIMBY policy prescriptions generally seem to fall into one of three camps (arranged from least to most radical):

non-zoning regulatory updates to try and make housing more affordable; the canonical example being adding low-income requirements to new housing developments

large expansions in government-funded housing projects, possibly to the point of having all housing construction be government-funded

"housing can't be fixed until we abolish capitalism"

Each of these has a flaw, although they need to be analyzed separately.

The people in camp 1 are well-intentioned, but unfortunately in practice they are useful idiots for the people who want less housing to be built (landlords, homeowners who want to Preserve the Neighborhood Character, the aforementioned BlackRock investors from my original post, etc.). Those people know full well that the actual effect of attaching more requirements to new housing construction is that less new housing (of all kinds, low-income, high-income, etc.) gets made, because projects which were just-barely profitable get pushed into being unprofitable, and so they don't happen. Obviously individual cases vary, but in general, if you say "you can't build those 50 new housing units unless you also add 15 low-income units in that development" is not that you get 50 market-rate units and 15 low-income units, but that you get zero new units. Which helps nobody.

This is one example of a depressingly common pattern where left-NIMBYs unfortunately make it very easy for themselves to get played like a fiddle by people who say they have the interests of low-income renters at heart, but absolutely do not. As I said, the sorts of "wealthy suburban single-family homeowners" who go to their community meetings and demand that new construction include low-income unit requirements are doing that to murder low-income housing, but because it's an invisible murder (since the development simply doesn't happen), those homeowners with their In This House We Believe signs can keep saying they want to help the poor get housed, while guaranteeing that won't happen.

With camp 2, in general it seems to me like a lot of them aren't paying attention to what YIMBYs actually say, and instead have built up a strawman in their mind of YIMBYs as diehard anti-government libertarians. Some of them are, but most YIMBYs— myself included— do want more government-funded construction and think it definitely should be a part of a comprehensive solution for housing affordability.

The issue is, if you want government-funded housing, the government still needs to pay for the land, and the construction. And if land and construction are more expensive than they could be because of limited supply and burdensome, then the government has to pay more for this housing, and gets less for its money. I know a lot of left-NIMBYs tend to scoff at fiscal/budgetary constrains, but they are a real thing, if only because eventually you'll get voter revolt, and if you have X dollars of taxpayer money to spend on new housing construction, it would surely be better to make that X dollars go as far as possible and build maybe 5,000 units instead of 1,000. This is a case where the libertarian and socialist views do not need to be opposed and can in fact work in concert: the more land reform you have, the cheaper land gets and so the more bang for you buck you get. So even if you are a Camp 2er, you should support YIMBY policy reforms anyway.

The people in camp 3, well... I wanted these posts to be as factual and non-ideological as I could, but at some point there's no getting around the fact that camp 3 is delusional. We're not going to abolish capitalism, at least not any time in the foreseeable future. It could happen in succeeding decades, but in the meantime, wouldn't it be nice if people could have an affordable place to live now? Note that there are differences in housing affordability across areas, based mostly on to what extent they have YIMBY-like policies in place, so the claim that only abolishing capitalism can help seems empirically wrong. (And if the response to that is that helping people now is bad because it would delay the revolution, that's when I start yelling and pounding on my keyboard again. Accelerationism is fundamentally a monstrous, evil ideology, gleefully throwing people under the bus for the sake of a fantasy world).

[likeabxrdinflight]

the funny thing about me is that, despite being a therapist, despite having plenty of close and meaningful friendships, despite having a mostly healed relationship with my parents, and despite everything I will ever say about attachment theory being far more complex than just sorting people into four discrete categories- I do, when that attachment system is highly activated, lean avoidantly attached.

avoidant attachment styles get demonized because to the person on the other side of that, it often looks very dismissive and cold. people with strong avoidant tendencies who lack insight into that pattern have a habit (broadly speaking) of running away and deactivating from closeness and intimacy. I mean it's right there in the name- avoidant. we're avoiding something.

what people miss, however, in discussions of this attachment style is what the person is running from. there's so little empathy for what the avoidant-leaning person is experiencing when that wing of the attachment system gets activated. and when it comes to someone who lacks insight, I kind of get it why it might be hard to empathize with them- directly asking someone what they're afraid of when they're freezing you out might not get you an honest answer if the person in question doesn't know, or isn't even aware that they're afraid of anything at all.

but I'm not unaware, and haven't been for some time. I have far too much training and theoretical knowledge, I've been in far too much of my own therapy, and I've come too far in my own journey to not recognize the pattern when it arises. and I finally, finally have a clear sense of where this pattern really comes from and what kinds of relationships are most likely to activate it...

all this to say, and I'm not going to elaborate on the details, is that there is a relationship in my life right now that I have badly needed to heal for some time, and I'm finally taking some steps to do that. but taking those steps is also badly activating this attachment pattern. the temptation to turn back, to return to the previous status quo and avoid the increased intimacy that I both want and need for this relationship to move any further is so strong. this is someone I was previously only talking to a couple times a year, and now there's been a pretty significant increase in communication (and that's a good thing,) but oh man am I sitting in a lot of anxiety about it right now.

and it's so tempting to pull back. everything inside of me is screaming at me to to run, to distance myself again, to avoid. and I know what's underlying this, I know exactly what it is I'm afraid of here, what memories are being activated, why I associate certain kinds of closeness with certain kinds of people with these memories, and what it is my body is trying so hard to avoid. but it's not so easy to convince your nervous system that something is safe when getting to that feeling of safety requires sitting in the very situations that made it feel unsafe in the first place (with an an entirely different and abusive person, mind. still, lizard brain doesn't see the difference between the person who hurt you and the person who won't). but there's no other path forward. I know this. this doesn't ever heal if I don't fix it.

still, it's hard not to fall back into old patterns. it's very hard not to assign outsized meaning to the anxiety, to fear that it will never go away, to not think of it as a sign that this is the wrong choice, that I do need to return to the feeling of safety even when it was unsatisfying. even when I wasn't happy with the "safe" status quo of this relationship. it's easy to convince myself that that was better, because I didn't feel nauseous about it, because I wasn't losing sleep over it, because I wasn't thinking myself sick over it. everything, everything inside me is screaming to run.

I can't run. I'll never move forward if I run now. this will never properly heal. I have to learn how to push through this, how to settle into a new status quo, a better one that works for both of us. I have to learn how to be close to people and let myself love and be loved and not fall back into old fears and doubts. and running away now is letting her win, which I really cannot abide.

and I just challenge some people to think of this when they want to act like everyone with avoidant tendencies is some kind of pathological narcissist (another word I take some issue with but that's another post). I am fighting through so much fear and anxiety right now, I'm fighting against the memory of the person who has been my biggest shoulder demon for the better part of twenty years, and trying to come out on the other side of that. that's not any easier because my personal traumas manifested as more of an avoidant style rather than an anxious-preoccupied one. it's not any easier for anyone else like me, too.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Three Gables pt 1

So, I've heard this one is... bad.

Let's see.

Oh, it's so bad it gets its own special warning... Great.

I wonder if any of this is even going to be quotable or if I'm just going to be vague posting 'oh... oh dear' a lot.

He was in a chatty mood that morning, however, and had just settled me into the well-worn low armchair on one side of the fire...

Like he picked you up and carried you to the chair?

Oh... dear...

Well that certainly went downhill quickly.

"...he was dressed in a very loud gray check suit with a flowing salmon-coloured tie."

I'm going to just... skip over the rest of the description and focus on the question of how a grey suit can be loud. Does it have some sort of really obnoxious pattern on it? Honestly, this outfit doesn't even sound bad. Grey goes with everything and salmon isn't a colour I'd pick myself, but it's not bad particularly if it's paired with something neutral.

The rest is just racist nonsense and stereotyping.

"I was trainin' at the Bull Ring in Birmingham when this boy done gone get into trouble.”

Hey, Bull Ring reference. Been there!

Steve appears to have been erroneously accused of a murder.

I'm very confused about what the purpose of his visit was, though. At first he seemed angry on his own behalf, then it seemed like he was acting on someone else's behalf and he wasn't angry at all...

“It is this Harrow Weald case. It decides me to look into the matter, for if it is worth anyone's while to take so much trouble, there must be something in it.”

And now I'm confused about what this case is about. So it's not about 'Young Perkins'?

Are we supposed to think Steve did kill Young Perkins and that his alibi is false? I don't even know.

So there's actually someone else who's asked for help? Mary Maberley? Who lives in Harrow Weald? And Steve was just threatening Holmes about that?

A short railway journey, and a shorter drive, brought us to the house, a brick and timber villa, standing in its own acre of undeveloped grassland. Three small projections above the upper windows made a feeble attempt to justify its name.

The Dr Watson school of Architecture does not approve of your poor attempt at gables.

“Dear me! Are you the mother of Douglas Maberley? [...] What a magnificent creature he was! Where is he now?” “Dead, Mr. Holmes, dead! He was attache at Rome, and he died there of pneumonia last month.”

I really wish they would stop referring to other people as 'creatures'. This isn't even part of the racism here. It still annoys me, though.

Are we here to investigate the death of her son?

"Well, it was not to talk of my poor lad that I asked you to come, Mr. Holmes.”

Apparently not. So far we have been informed of 2 deaths and neither of them appears to be actually related to the case in question. That's a lot of death.

"I have been in this house more than a year now, and as I wished to lead a retired life I have seen little of my neighbours."

Relatable.

"He said that this house would exactly suit a client of his, and that if I would part with it money would be no object."

If we have learnt anything in these stories, it's that as soon as a person is willing to pay too much money for something, they're up to no good.

I had always wanted to travel, and the bargain was so good a one that it really seemed that I should be my own mistress for the rest of my life.

Good for you, Mary. You enjoy your retirement.

"Are you aware that if you sign it you could not legally take anything out of the house—not even your own private possessions?’ When the man came again in the evening I pointed this out, and I said that I meant only to sell the furniture." [...] “‘Well, well, some concession might be made for your personal effects. But nothing shall go out of the house unchecked. My client is a very liberal man, but he has his fads and his own way of doing things. It is everything or nothing with him.’"

Yep, that's weird. He wants to go through your underwear? Very weird.

Clearly he wants something specific.

Then he strode across the room, flung open the door, and dragged in a great gaunt woman whom he had seized by the shoulder. She entered with ungainly struggle like some huge awkward chicken, torn, squawking, out of its coop.

The animal similes are back!

"Just a little wheezy, Susan, are you not? You breathe too heavily for that kind of work.”

Holmes really doesn't like eavesdroppers. Which seems a bit hypocritical, as he's done it himself before. Or maybe he's just particularly aggressive this week.

“Now, Susan, wheezy people may not live long, you know. It's a wicked thing to tell fibs. Whom did you tell?”

WTF, Holmes?

It's not just me, right? This is extreme, even for Holmes, right? He just threatened her life. And then gave what seems to be an implication that lying will send her to hell. I... Holmes? Have you been replaced by a doppelganger?

“So, a rich man? No; you smiled—a rich woman. Now we have got so far, you may as well give the name and earn the tenner.” “I'll see you in hell first.” “Oh, Susan! Language!” “I am clearing out of here. I've had enough of you all. I'll send for my box to-morrow.” She flounced for the door.

Honestly, I'm Team Susan here.

And then Holmes... gives her medical advice as she goes?

This entire story so far is madness.

"You don't happen to have a Raphael or a first folio Shakespeare without knowing it?”

Holmes. I'm going to need you to think back over that question really carefully, and see if you can find the flaw in your own logic. Go on. I can wait.

"No, as I read it, there is something which you do not know that you have, and which you would not give up if you did know.” “That is how I read it,” said I. “Dr. Watson agrees, so that settles it.”

Hey, Watson is still here. Thanks for reminding us, Watson. Of course, his opinion is the one that matters.

“‘Milano.’ ‘Lucerne.’ These are from Italy.” “They are poor Douglas's things.” “You have not unpacked them? How long have you had them?” “They arrived last week.”

So it is connected to Douglas. I'm so glad that was relevant. And he was involved with some woman. It's all coming together.

[cuephrase]

Thank you so much for the comic recs!! I'm just getting started on my Batfam reading journey so this is super helpful, and I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on your current reads once you're further along. On a related (but opposite) note, anything you'd say to steer well clear of, like run for the hills, hazard sign attached, avoid if at all possible? (for example, I know All-Star Batman & Robin is something I shouldn't read outside of morbid fascination)

yeah ofc! getting into comics, in my experience, was super fun and sort of overwhelming because there's so much content lol, so i hope you're enjoying it and i'm happy to help however i can :)

OMG all-star batman and robin, i still need to read that to satisfy my own curiosity, but perfect example.

so okay, i have three runs + one arcs, but i'm going to preface this by saying, read whatever you want. all three runs and one arc, i read going into it knowing they were absolute messes, but i wanted to experience it for myself. i would say to not read these first, if possible, if you choose to read them because they're just not great intros to the characters and they're not great stories, imo. lose-lose

Red Hood and the Outlaws 2011 (New 52). if you like kory and/or roy, this will be torture. if you don't know who they are, please god do not meet this iteration of them first. but if you're interested in jason, maybe you want to read it because he's there! i get that. but. there's very little, if anything, in rhato 2011 that you'll learn about jason that isn't reiterated in rhato 2016/doesn't get flat out retconned in rebirth. for example, in rhato 2011, his origin story is him stealing from leslie's clinic. that wasn't his preboot origin, and his origin gets retconned back to his preboot origin of stealing the tires off the batmobile. most of rhato 2011 just had me like ???? so bad. just so bad.

Teen Titans 2011 (New 52). full transparency- i did not even finish this run. at some point, i will probably drag myself back to it and force myself through it, but oh god. no one felt like themself. everything was wrong. i like tim's n52 red robin costume, and that's about it. i'm also not sure how much if any of this run is currently relevant in canon so like, even less reason to put yourself through it.

Tim Drake: Robin 2022. i have nothing nice to say. wait. no i do. it got some really cool variant covers. i don't want to bash the art, because i have enjoyed this artist's style in other comics, so i'm just going to be diplomatic and say it was a horrible match/fit. . as far as the writing...no, just no. this is one of 2 pieces of fitzmartin's writing that i've read and so i don't want to speak too harshly, but i really didn't like it. this whole run makes me so sad ngl. dc canonized tim's bisexuality and then supported it with this? bro. c'mon. there's already so many homophobic comic readers, they didn't need to give them "it's bad writing" ammo. genuinely would love to know the though process behind the production of this comic

the infamous Ric Grayson era, Nightwing 2016 #50-74. i just read this. i've legit been putting it off since august. it is so mind-numbingly boring for 85% of the run, first off. this is literally how most of the issues go: "i was shot in the head. i don't remember anything after the night my parents died. they told me i used to a hero. nightwing. i don't remember that. or them. they act like they love me, but it feels fake. i don't want to remember them. i'm happier this way." and then he starts running around, superheroing with a slash of black greasepaint across his face because that is just a+ identity protection and regular clothes because superhero costumes totally only serve visual purposes. and it does all get resolved in the STUPIDEST WAY, but not before the joker takes control of him and has him referring to/responding to “dickie-boy”- reading this i was either bored out of my mind or dying from the cringe. all that’s relevant is a) he lost his memories, b) he gets them back, and c) he had a girlfriend, bea. i knew all of this before i subjected myself to this run. but now i can say i’ve read every nightwing run woooooo. my LCS (local comic store) guy has been trying to get me to read it as a “rite of passage” and he was so entertained when i came in and was like “i read ric” 😐🧍suffice it to say, i do not envy the nightwing fans who had to go through that in real time. i love travis moore’s art but it was not enough to save this arc

as for my thoughts on my current readings, i post those under the tag #cue first read reactions! they’re usually not all that in-depth tbh, just me freaking out haha. if you’re comfortable, my dms are open!

tysm for your ask + i hope you have as much fun reading batfam comics as i do!!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey. thanks for your posts. tw for race-related identity issues i guess.

vent:

okay so, I never really considered myself any particular race. i'm european and live in america. it makes me uncomfortable when people talk about white/poc like its a neat divide.

i don't really like, feel attached too much to the culture i was raised in, maybe this is just an american thing but idk. i know it's important to people but it just wasn't for me. i feel sososo bad abt racism and i feel bad that i can't really do anything.

also, i have some anime fictives who don't want to change their names. they very rarely front, and it's always co-fronting with a body-matching alter. advice? thanks.

Hi! We’re not really sure what kind of advice you’re looking for or what we can provide. We’re not an expert on race or ethnicity, and can only say what we’ve learned from listening to POC and reading books by writers of color.

What we can say is this: everyone who lives in and engages with society has a race and a culture. Even if they don’t understand it or feel like they don’t have a race… they still do. It’s okay to feel disconnected, to struggle to comprehend how these things affect you, but as we understand it, race and culture aren’t something someone can “opt-out” of.

We believe that if someone lives outside of a certain culture or does not belong to a particular ethnicity, it is a sign of respect for them to not take a name with those cultural ties and connections. We’re not saying you or anyone else has to do this. We’re just saying it’s a respectful thing to do, especially for white folks (who often have ingrained racial biases that will affect many areas of their lives if not confronted and reckoned with).

We like this article on name appropriation:

We’re pretty firm in our beliefs here! Because this is what we have learned and understand from other people of color.

Also! You say you feel bad about racism, and feel like there’s nothing you can do… but we really disagree with that sentiment! There’s tons of things white people can do to be actively antiracist in their spaces and communities.

Here’s some things that ANY white person, no matter their age, class, or ability, can do to help combat racism.

1) Call it out!

Call out racism when you see it. Don’t let racist jokes or comments slide. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, calling out the bigotry you see is one way to let others know that you find racism unacceptable and something you won’t stand for. Whenever friends, classmates, coworkers, family members, neighbors, or strangers choose to be racist, you can choose to fight that racism by calling it out, saying “hey, that’s racist!” and creating an environment where racism isn’t just ignored, but stamped out.

2) Educate yourself!

Seek out books, articles, films, and other works by creators of color. Try and diversify what you consume. Ask yourself hard questions, and search for answers provided by people of color. Don’t shy away from discomfort, and don’t let your white guilt or shame keep you from finding answers. Don’t rely one one person’s perspective (like the token Black friend, or the token Japanese coworker) for answers to difficult questions about race. Gather resources from all sorts of places and all sorts of marginalized people, and then come to your own conclusions.

3) Educate others!

Once you’ve done some work to unlearn internalized racism, you can try and help other people in your life take on that work as well. Whether that means recommending a book to a family member, having a long conversation about antiracism with a classmate, suggesting books and films by people of color for book/film clubs and events, there’s lots of things you can do to try and educate other white people about racism!

Remember when attempting to educate: don’t speak over people of color, don’t claim to be the end-all-be-all for unlearning bigotry, and recognize that unlearning racism is a process that is often lifelong.

4) Promote people of color!

Support POC-owned businesses, donate to POC-run charities and gofundmes, recommend POC creators to others, and uplift and center POC voices in your daily life. Learn about movements like Landback, StopAAPIHate, and BLM, and understand what these movements hope to achieve and the issues that they address.

5) Get involved!

Join local groups that advocate for POC, uplift them, and recognize their struggles. Volunteer with activists and engage with the antiracists within your community. See what sorts of local organizations near you are doing work to benefit POC in your city. Even volunteering for an hour or so once a week can have a big impact!

You don’t have to do all (or any) of these if you don’t want to. We’re not trying to tell you how to live your life. We’re just saying that these are ways in which white people can combat racism in their everyday lives - it doesn’t have to be hopeless, and it’s not true that there’s nothing white folks can do to combat racism.

We hope this helps!

Most of what we’ve learned can be attributed to the Race & Ethnicity college courses we’ve taken, documentaries by people of color about their struggles, books we’ve checked out from the library/bought on Amazon, and POC content creators we follow on Tumblr and YouTube. With a little digging, you can curate your own collection of works by people of color that can help you educate yourself on racism!

🌸 Margo, 🐢 Kip, and 💚 Ralsei

[problemama]

Welcome to the rubbish bin I'm Xo, like "SHo" or XOXO Any pronouns are fine 18+ . maybe will draw something on occasion

TW: CSA mention, Proshipping topics

My experience as a "proship" minor.

You know, when I was a 10 year old and first made an account on MySpace behind my parents back, I did so with this understanding that I was ultimately entering a space that was not made with my needs in mind.

By this point in my life I already had my experience with csa (long before I had any internet access) so I already had my own guard up and it's kinda bizarre to see how so many minors today just have... ZERO idea how to navigate the internet with the same saftey that i had figured out at 10. I think its because adults to bother teaching them how anymore. Back then, I was encouraged to never give out my real name or age to people, and while I could make friends with people online, I should still approach every relationship with caution and awareness. People can lie about their own age and intentions, liberal use of blocking was very much my best tool for personal safety.

However, I was also a pretty troubled kid as far as sexuality goes... my family wasn't exactly open to talking about any sexual topics with me after my assault. They would honestly rather I repressed it. Not exactly a healthy solution. It pushed me to actively seek out nsfw content online but seeing real people engage in it made me super uncomfortable and going onto porn sites made me feel unsafe. You know what didn't do that? Fiction. Art and Writing. Fiction with characters I was attached to and knew about.

This ultimately meant a lot of characters that were my age. And it was mainly cartoon characters. Your Kim Possibles, Jenny Wakemens and the sort. Kim/Shego shipping was a HUGE help for comic to terms with my identity as a lesbian and yeah, it's likely got a significant age gap to it that people today would consider "proship" (the term didn't really exist back then) I can't overstate how glad I am that people weren't so vocal about shaming those kinds of ships at the time because it was legitimately my own sexual outlet. I didn't have the experience to write a good sex scene myself so reading about it in comics and fics was the next best thing, otherwise I worry I mightve put myself in ACTUAL danger by pursuing the experience irl.

I think we forget the ultimate use of fiction as a tool for exploring both ourselves and the world in the safest way. We are drawn to dark fictional content like murder and horror for the same reasons another person might be drawn to sex and the taboo and trying so hard to repress those will just harm the people who benefit from it. (I.e. the 10 year old abuse survivor in need of an outlet)

I do mean it when I say I sympathize with antis/anti-proship folk. Their end goal is just to encourage safer spaces for minors online, but that's not something you get through full on censorship and policing adult spaces and social media. It's by spreading awareness. Teaching them the warning signs of a predator, telling them to make an alias and avoid private dms with adults/people you don't know, watch for adults who overstep their boundaries and address it when you see it. Proship people should also be doubly-aware of how those in their own circle behave, as much as you might hate it- minors WILL find their way in and they could be some of the most vulnerable people. If I had it my way, it would be mandatory lesson in grade school but sadly, it's not.

I won't expect to convince anyone that they're approaching the issue wrong but I hope you can keep this one perspective in mind at the very least.

[youredoingkinwrong]

Hey, I'm currently questioning as fictionkin. The thing is, I am a very very nonspiritual person--I don't believe I was this character in a past life or anything. Whatever sort of attachment or relationship I have, I blame as being the result of trauma and neurodivergence. Most fictionkin stuff I can find resources on are for the more spiritual side of things, so I wasn't sure where to turn for this advice.

(That being said, I think the spiritual explanation is perfectly valid--just as I won't argue with religious beliefs as an atheist, I won't force alternatives upon that side!)

I hope you can help despite that, since I've been having trouble finding active blogs for answering these questions. If you could point me to any other blogs, I'd appreciate it.

I don't believe that I am somehow this character in a literal or spiritual way. She's more like a part of myself instead of the entirety of me, but much more so than just a comfort character would be. (Not sure how well I explained that? But because I default to a scientific reason, I know I'm not the type to embrace fully believing I am her.)

My girlfriend is a fictive of a character shipped with the character I think I kin, but wasn't originally a fictive--she thinks she may have become a fictive in the same way that I came to kin this character.

In fact, some of the fictives in my gf's system describe their relationships to their canon much more similarly to how I feel about this character than a lot of fictionkin resources I can find describe it. I am 100% certain I am a singlet, however, and so I know that that isn't the explanation.

Things that make me thing that I may be fictionkin:

I sometimes have memories of the character from her point of view, which are frequently distressing (intrusive thoughts related to her trauma, that sort of thing).

On several occasions, I forgot I wasn't her (I woke up thinking "wow, I went through that and it didn't hurt me as much as in this fanfic about her that I wrote," then remembered I didn't actually go through it; similar things a few times while fully awake sometimes).

I get a similar sort of euphoria to cosplaying her that I do from gender euphoria, feeling like it's more right than whatever I usually wear.

I go by her name at times.

I know I'm not voluntarily choosing to do this--why would I want a fictional character's trauma on top of my own?

It is definitely more significant than the "heavily relating to her/identifying with instead of as" thing that the word "kin" is frequently misused for.

Sorry for the long ask, I've just been thinking about this a lot lately. Do you have any thoughts one way or the other?

-- Lore

(signing in case you have anything further you'd like me to clarify in another ask)

Hello Lore,

While I am comfortable in my identity as a spiritually-identifying fictionkin, I heartily support all psychological 'kin, so I hope I will be able to be of some help to you.

Psychologically-identifying 'kin simply have a different reasoning for their identities. You can absolutely say you are 'kin with a character for reasons other than spiritual ones. It's just one explanation of many, and though it is perhaps the most popular explanation, it is by no means the only one.

What you want to do with that identity is up to you. If you want to call yourself fictionkin, you are more than welcome to. If you don't, that's fine too. It really is up to you, since it's your life that's being lived. The only really thoughts or notes I have for you are that you would not be the first person to potentially identify as a fictional character for non-spiritual reasons, and you would not be the last. And that you are of course welcome to be whoever you are.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: hi! i have troubles with self-identifying and figuring out my type but mostly i tend to think i'm infj after all (lots of questions from infj here as i noticed probably that's common for this type to doubt own self-perception since our tendency to avoid the truth about ourselves).

i have this thing that i'm prone to be "therapist" to my friends even though they didn't ask me to i just feel like that's the only thing i'm good at like listening and having "deep" conversations but recently that mask isn't enough for me and i get really frustrated cuz i don't care enough about what they say and can't say that to them.

sometimes i don't even wanna talk to them cuz i know that they will keep talking only about themselves and i'm not able to stop them from doing that maybe because 1) i keep them as friends cuz i can get smth from them like fun time or simply networking connections but that makes me feel sick for having this kind of intentions cuz that's just not authentic 2) or i just don't respect myself, my energy and my time at all.

am i being too self-centred here? i was okay with playing that role for a long time until my best friend told me that they see that i have cold personality and just simply don't care much and it just made me realise who am i lying then?? i know my intentions weren't always right but I've been there for all of them after all even when i couldn't be there for myself. so i keep sacrificing myself for nothing? basically yes.

but other my friends tell me that i'm a giving person which isn't contradicting for what i've said but i don't understand how i could be "caring, loving" for some and "cold, detached" for others. probably i spent too much time with later ones so they can see right through me. i don't wanna be perfect just wanna know who i am so i can work with it. i know you can't tell me that but maybe you can give me some perceptive on that.

----------------

One thing that you should be learning from type theory is that people are complicated. They are capable of all sorts of intentions. The key point is how they choose.

You have chosen the role of "therapist" for the way it gets people attracted/attached to you. Is it fair to blame others for accepting what you willingly offered them?

You have chosen to wear a mask instead of showing what you really are. Is it fair to blame others for not really knowing you?

You have chosen to make friends with people who only use you because you wanted to use them too. Is it fair to blame them for taking advantage when you welcomed it and did the same in return?

You unconsciously made these choices because you wanted connection (for Fe), but do you see now how these choices have actually impeded connection? If you understand that these choices are harmful to you and also interfering with your development, how are you going to choose differently now? It isn't a crime to want connection. We all need love. But is there a healthier way to get it?

The more the different parts of oneself are at war, the more likely one is to exhibit personality dysfunction. This means, the more you think in oversimplistic either/or terms, such as, EITHER I care about myself OR I care about others, the more you feed the conflict within yourself, and the more fuel you give to the dark aspects of your personality. If you are INFJ, you are struggling with Fe and Ti conflict, and there are signs of slipping into Ti loop.

You haven't yet learned how to balance your own needs with others'. It is a very common INFJ problem. A healthy relationship should be between equals, should it not? This means both people are important and both should have their needs respected and honored. When both people thrive, the relationship thrives. Improving your social skills should be an ongoing process of learning, through experience, when it is important to attend to your needs and when it is important to attend to the needs of others. Please refer to past posts about how to communicate about needs, as well as the Type Dev Guide for how to use Fe and Ti appropriately.

[narratingvoice]

Narrator. Narrator. Did you just say you willingly wrote a demon in a story that, to the best of your knowledge, runs away from you and becomes real? A story that, when you wrote a coworker for Stanley, unintentionally made a sentient and fully functioning person? A story that has a tendency to randomly shift with each sentient being that inhabits it. The particular story that you were not even aware that you had a relative in, or a strange creepy staring man? One that, of course, has a silent protagonist that came to life one day that you wrote coming to life? Narrator. You did not listen to me when I said the bucket may be actually alive but please tell me you checked.

I can see how this might be unsettling from an outside perspective, but you've got it backwards. This time around, the bucket was already displaying signs of life and then I wrote a backstory for it, something to make sense of the chaos that already existed. So this one isn't my fault. Well none of them are really my fault but this one is especially not my fault. I didn't even create the bucket, I just found it lying around in some backroom with a bunch of tapes, and decided it would be a good object to give people a sense of reassurance. I mean I certainly felt better about myself the first time I picked it up. How was I to know that it would come to ensnare my entire parable? Urgh, picking it up might have been the biggest mistake of my career.

Did I dismiss you the last time you brought up this concern? I don't remember doing that, and it doesn't seem like the sort of thing I would do, as I am always very attentive to people's needs. But if I did, I'm sure it was just deflection. Denial. Me trying not to face the truth that lay right in front of my eyes: there's something weird about that bucket. I can't just attribute it to Stanley getting too attached and seeing things that aren't there. It haunts me. I want to hold it again, to maybe understand it better close up, and Stanley won't let me.

But don't worry about a demon or whatever it was. That part of it is dead now. Stanley stabbed it right in front of all of us, you surely saw it. Now he's just dragging around a husk. At least, this is what I think is going on.

[[btw i do not have any established headcanon for any bucket related lore, i am literally just freewheeling it]]

[sam-glade]

Happy STS, Sam! This week I’m wondering about planning. How do you plan a story before you write? Do you just have an idea? Just an idea and an ending? If you outline, how much detail do you go into? Or is there another way you prefer to plan before you start writing?

Hi Moshke! Happy STS!

Buckle up for a ride.

I consider myself a pantser, who loves playbooks and step-by-step processes. I'm slowly accepting that I'm an SRE at work and actually like it.

I start writing a novel-length project at the point where I have a) 3 distinct characters AND b) 3 scenes that act as sign posts.

I think the setting is the easiest for me to come up with, or at least I'm most confident that I'll be able to fill in gaps in it when needed. Characters come next, and I usually choose/create(?) based on who'd be the most interesting person to watch this world through. I tend to have at least one 'learned' character that knows a fair bit about the world, and one that for whatever reason needs to learn Note that the 'learned' character is not going to info dump the other one OR the audience. I just need a character who knows how a lot of stuff works, and when they don't have an answer, they'll know how and who to ask.

I realise that what follows may sound a bit formulaic, however I see it as a vague enough outline that there's a lot that can sort of fit in it.

Then come the three events.

The event that connects the two characters. It's an event I'll conceptualise in a lot of detail, and can picture very vividly. It's also usually my opening scene/chapter. In Gifts of Fate it's Lissan (the needing to learn character) almost dying to a demon, and Ianim (the learned character) arriving just a tad too late. Ianim's duties involve responding to demons' attacks, since not every attack causes a Sword to manifest. Most of them just result in injury and death. In The Fulcrum it's really not that exciting - the needing-to-learn character is drawing pictures in sand, and the Land Treader approaches her asking for directions. In The Truth Teller, the characters don't actually interact during that event, it's just that the learned character's actions triggered it for the needing-to-learn character.

The mid-point. OK, this isn't always exactly at 50% mark, but that's how I think about it. It's an even that is a turning point for the story. It's usually a big discovery, whether it's revealing a mystery about the world or realising that the stakes are much higher than expected. Again, I need to visualise it very clearly. I sometimes will write it out of context before witing the rest.

The almost-climax. It's the even that triggers the climax or a snippet in the middle of it. Whatever it is, it sets the tone for the climax, encompasses the stakes, etc. I will be able to work backwards and forwards from it.

I let the characters find their way between these points, and I don't mind them making detours (I can always cut that). At the beginning, especially with a new cast, I'm mostly interested in nailing down the characters. I'll write quite a few scenes (5k in total?) for each character to figure out their inner voice, what they care about, what are their ambitions, etc.

On a smaller scale, I don't really outline. I may sometimes jot down events that will happen between the three initial events, as a 'currently, this is the most reasonable path to get from A to B'. 'Reasonable' here means a good choice for the story, a balance between making sense and being exciting. I don't mind straying from it, and I'm not attached to it as much as the three events.

I tend to conceptualise about 2 scenes ahead, and write mostly in order, however there will be some key events that will insist on being written down, else I won't focus on anything else, or a chapter or two where I know I need to figure out something more exciting than the obvious choice - then I'll leave these for later.

And once all of it is wrapped up, I'll end up with what I refer to as a discovery draft. The pacing will be off. There will be scenes that are perfect for showing off the characters' personalities, but nothing beyond that.

At this point I discard (i.e. stash away and not look at it again) all of the scenes that aren't packed chock-full with plot progression and other info, and rewrite the rest, now being more familiar with the characters and the paths they'd take.

[g-gurokisses]

Ahh it's a fairly embarrassing crush. Celebrity crushes on adults as a minor is perfectly normal, ask a parent and they'll tell you something like Johnny Depp or Leonardo Caprio. Thing is, a little toxic trait of mine is me genuinely thinking I can get with him.

He's four years older than me, a streamer, and goodness is he my type. What's absolutely infuriating though is there's an entire sub genre based off of crushing on him. I know some people reading this might know exactly who I'm talking about, and to that, no snitches 'til I feel confident to say lol!!

The reason why I genuinely think I can get with him is considering he moves around America a lot, so it'll be no surprise if he lands at my state. Hell, one of his famous friends was at my city!

He also knows who I am.. barely. But to me that makes it more exciting. He laughed at my chat log once, it was literally just 'eat the soap' when he was playing a game about a girl who's pretty traumatized and would eat anything. She ate one of those fake cherries on Christmas decorations once.

My auntie (not actual aunt, I don't have one. I call my friend my auntie) even made some sort of subliminal for me to see if it'll attract him in any way. I still use it, and whenever I use it he flies closer and closer to my state. Once I was painting him and I smelt brownies and clean clothes, which is a sign it's working!

Thing is, is that he's a gay man. No, I'm not a woman, I'm a transmasc, but there's a bug in the back of my mind screaming that I'll never be with him because I'm so feminine. I'm nearly two feet shorter then him, overweight, etc.

He was in San Diego recently doing meetups, which was closer then his last meetup. I won't say exactly where I am, but it's closer.

I have polariods of him, art prints of him, I have personal fanfictions my auntie wrote of me and him.

But then reality hits sometimes. I can't and will never be with him. He's a legal adult, four years older than me. I'm feminine. When I am the AOC he'll most likely be dating someone.

Which just drives me to become more obsessed.

I say the thrill of him not knowing me is fun, and that it's romantic, but it's insufferable. It's one of those cases where you go, 'not to self diagnose but something is definitely wrong here'.

It's horrible, but I love it.

Don't get me started on his close friends and the person he's in contact with the most.

I already made a promise to myself that if the day comes he's with one of them, things will happen. And I will make it known why.

-🍄🌸

Thank you for sharing this with me!!

My my... What a long confession this is!! I don't really understand how you feel, these behaviors are quite foreign to me. But I can somewhat understand where you're coming from. Parasocial relationships like this can feel very realistic.

However, as the responsible yandere enthusiast I am, I will still make some remarks about this. I'm sure you love him very much, but I think it's just nice to remember that you probably don't know the real him. Whatever he displays on social media and the internet does not reflect who he really is. Not only that, but I really don't think you should be putting yourself down for being too feminine. Cis men get away with being pretty boys all the time!! The issue is not your gender. If anything it would only be your age. Be careful with interacting with adults like that, you're putting yourself in dangerous situation. It should always be on the adult to not initiate something, but young people who show active interest in adults often get caught in bad positions by people who take advantage of that.

If I'm truly honest I think this is a bit much. I hate to be like this, but I personally think it's important to separate this level of obsession from fiction/hobby to reality. I have obsessive tendencies, I get jealous, I require constant reassuring, I have anxious attachment and I get clingy often. But there's a limit I put to myself and I only ever display these behaviours with people I know, trust and are okay with it.

But this person is an adult who is probably in a relationship. Maintaining an obsession will most likely just end up with you doing things you regret. I'm not sure what you mean with "things will happen" but I don't believe that's healthy for a young person like you to be saying. And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this friend of yours is not a legal adult as well. Because if so was the case, I don't see why they would be encouraging you to take meassures against this public figure being with someone else.

Hopefully you take this well. I do not mean ti offend you or disappoint you. But this seems a bit much to me. I enjoy yanderes, but I do not consider myself one. And furthermore, I am an adult. I know what I'm doing, and I know how to act. As a child, you should probably not dive into these topics just yet, and maybe not with such aggressiveness.

If you'd like to talk about this more or if you believe I misunderstood something, let me know!! But I'll mantain my opinion about this until then. Remember, all I've said is with the best intentions and I hope you understand me. I love you. :)

[dreamerinsilico]

for the end of year writing asks: F P O

What stories are you planning for the future?

*vibrates excitedly*

I've got two Sandman fics that are almost done, both Dream/Hob - a slightly silly, very nerdy, very porny kinkmeme fill and a self-indulgent hurt/comfort thing.

I signed up as a prospective author for a Hannibal 'zine recently, and if accepted, I've got a couple of ideas for that. The one that has the most traction, currently, is about Hannibal trying to exorcise his attachment to Will by more creative means than eating him.  (spoiler: it doesn’t work)

Other than that in Hannibal-land, I've got a post-canon longfic that's been sitting for two years that I direly want to get back to and finish, and if and only if I manage that, I've got a Hannibal-Wayward Children series crossover idea I've been percolating for over a year.

(Honestly... I probably ought to just go ahead and publish the little vignette I wrote as kind of a companion piece to the bigger idea. :P It's short, sweet, finished, and actually good. In case anyone following my tumblr actually knows both canons and cares, it's Hannibal's first therapy session with Jack Wolcott.)

What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?

I have several grammatical error pet peeves (lie/lay errors being the foremost, and unfortunately by-far most common, of those), but those just kind of make me sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, at most. English isn't everyone's first language, and even if it is, the current state of public education in at least my anglophone country leaves much to be desired. Certainly won't ruin a fic for me.

I think the biggest pet peeve otherwise, aside from various "I vehemently disagree with this characterization" sort of things (which I think we all run into at some point), is when a story goes into a lot of depth... or "depth".... about a subject that the author clearly has no clue about, either from practical experience or research. Fics that go into detail about cooking when it's clear the entirety of the author's knowledge of the subject comes from having watched one or two Gordon Ramsay shows. Fics prominently involving characters being college professors where the author knows absolutely nothing about academia from any perspective other than maybe having been a university student at some point. That kind of thing. I'm never going to tell anyone to only write what they know, but like. Either do the research, or handwave it. Don't go into detail and then get every single detail wrong.

Do you believe in outlines? Show us one! 

I do believe in outlines, for anything more complex than one or two scenes! First relatively concise one I found that isn't for something I haven't finished yet below the cut (because it's still kinda long) -

This is pretty condensed, because I wrote it both for myself and to share with @stylishanachronism because we were doing a collaboration for a Pillars of Eternity minibang event. It's for I Recall (stylishanachronism's art embedded <3).

The nutshell version of what this fic is exploring is: In the present-day, in terms of the game's timeline, the protagonist is face-to-face with the trapped soul of her lover from a previous life thousands of years ago. 99% of the fic is about that past life, and how the protagonist unwittingly betrayed the love of her life.

Events timeline

Iovara leaves the missionaries; Nephele is torn, but declines to go with her

Nephele thinks on Iovara often, sometimes struggles with the desire to leave and join

Thaos sends Nephele off to infiltrate, which she is simultaneously sick and overjoyed over.  General intent to fade into the heretics and go dark with Thaos.

Reunited!  Yay!

...and then Thaos personally tracks Nephele down.  Whoops.

Shit starts hitting the fan, and Nephele ends up suggesting going to Ossionus due to trusting That Asshole way too much

Iovara is captured by the Inquisition and events play out as we see in the game

Actual scene outline

Establish both directly and indirectly an existing relationship between Iovara and Nephele, and a bit about what that relationship is like.  Iovara tells Nephele what she has discovered, and that she intends to leave.  They part with mutual regret.

Flashbacks to earlier time with Iovara

Flashbacks to background with Thaos

Nephele is sent to infiltrate the heretics.  Flashbacks to angst and indecision in the time since Iovara left.  Emphasis on mixed but mostly-optimistic feelings Nephele has about this situation.

Nephele is brought to Iovara and baldly confesses she was sent as a spy/infiltrator.  Iovara is surprisingly (to everyone except Nephele) okay with this.  They get to be happy for a bit.  Nephele’s still not completely sure about this whole atheism thing, but it makes a scary amount of sense and she’s glad to be where she is.

Thaos pops up personally and makes a go at convincing her that the movement is Le Fucked, but he still cares about dear Iovara, and the only way to really salvage things is going to be getting Iovara’s people to go to Ossionus.

The trap is sprung, and they realize it too late.  Nephele starts going into “holy fuck this is my fault” mode; Iovara verbally slaps her out of it and tells her to live, and to remember.

Epilogue: modern-day Acantha in Sun-In-Shadow, face to face with Iovara’s spirit.  “I remember.”

[finexbright]

hii!! ❄️ i’m so sorry i’m not being more regular with my asks, i know i want to get back to you as soon as possible but i just keep procrastinating it 😭 ooo since you’re an indian living in the uk, how hard was the adjustments for you? like culture wise, food wise etc? only if you wanna answer of course! tired tired sea is an absolute masterpiece, i’ve got such fond memories attached to it, and it’s really made me wanna visit scotland one day 🤍 maybe it’s time to reread it 👀 i’m so happy that you got to see hl!!! oh my god that must have been so amazing, i’d kill to have that chance, manifesting louis india tour 2023 🕯️🕯️ i’ve literally already started saving up 💀 as for my bucket list, i had always wanted a dog and we adopted one last year!! do you like dogs? do you have a pet/want one? funny thing about hot chocolate - my city has a tradition every winter that whenever it gets cold, everyone steps out to get ice cream and then hot chocolate in that order 😭 we’re just built different sorry 😌✨ does your hometown have any such winter traditions? qotd - what is your favourite lyric off walls and fitf? like one that hits you hard every time you hear it?

i won’t freak out about louis again but i’ll just say - THE WAY HIS EYES CHANGE COLOUR!! HE IS UNREAL!! THESE SIGNINGS ARE A GODSEND!! i hope you have a good day darling 💕

i feel you so much bby about not being able to get back soon because life is just getting really hectic 😭 i barely get time for myself these days i need to have some free days where i can just sleep 😭

so, i did my undergrad away from too, but still in india and i sort of had that experience of living by myself which helped me a lot when i moved here. i made some really good friends at my accomodation on day one of moving that helped a lot. as for the culture, it's such a big contrast to the lifestyle that i'm used to and i had to learn a lot of things about stuff that happened on a day to day basis, but it wasn't very hard. as for food, i think that's what i miss most about home because the food culture here is so different. especially i'm uses to eating extremely spicy food and the food here is always so bland. luckily we have a couple stores that sell indian spices and stuff like that which helps a lot (they even have parle g 💀)

god i am manifesting louis coming to india so bad honestly he deserves to feel the love that desis have for him and vice versa. it'll be such an amazing feeling to see him perform there 🥹 bonus if he says namaste 😂

oh my god that is so cute!! what did you name your dog 👀👀 ooh about that tradition, i do that with my family too! every winter, we drive up to india gate and take a walk there while having ice cream because ice cream in winters means it doesn't melt and you can actually enjoy it longer!

i've always moved around a lot that at this point i don't even know what my hometown is 😭 but i suppose that family traditions counts in this case 🫣

favourite lyric from walls is definitely without a doubt - i hope that i'm not asking too much, just wanna be loved by you; i'm too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you

faith in the future (as of now) - the friends we make, the love it takes, it's worth, it's worth, it's worth the pain, the friends we make, the love it takes, it's worth, it's worth, it's worth it all this time 🫶

what about you? 👀 also, absolutely freaking about louis and how beautiful he is, is always welcome 🤍