#I just feel like I'm scrolling through a blog of a cool artist i found on Tumblr

[fallenoftheromaempire]

One of the things that i like the most about dungeon meshi, is how, through the adventurer's bible, we get a deep dive of some extremely marginal characters. We get extra sketches of them in litteral aus. We get extra interaction between characters. And at the end of it all i look at this incredibly masterful piece of art and literature and i feel a sense of connection with the author. Usually like most mainstream media, i feel this wall between me and the author. I get the finished piece, i don't get to see anything else, no windo in the author's inner world beyond the very polished end result.

With Ryoko Kui i feel a sense of kinship. I feel like I'm back in the back yard scribbling on a sketchbook, with my friends, as we each ramble about our ocs and our stories. And i look at her and i smile and ask "tell me more."

[factual-fantasy]

18 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🎪

@pink088

Guuuuurl does it look like I missed the boops? XDD

(I DID miss the super boops and revenge boops tho. I was trashed on the couch and stuck on mobile all day so I wasn't able to send any back to anyone💔💔)

Uhhhmm... oh jeez lemme try to remember-- I'm assuming you mean the order I got everyone in the game..?? Cuz other than the goofy little comics I've been drawing there isn't much of a story beyond that-

Uhhh so I started with Midori(Sprigatito) obviously, thennn... I think I caught Grim(Gastly).. then I caught Gloria(Ralts). Thenn..... arrhrhhgh I thiiiink I went looking for eevees, but I found Anastasia(Shiny Kricketot) in the process and kept her. Then I picked one of the eevees I caught at random and kept him. Then lastly I found a Mareep(Bonnie) by surprise and kept her.

My memory is very poor but I thiiink that's mostly accurate <XDD If I misunderstood your question don't be afraid to send another ask! 😅

@pbjfox37147878

Sorry, I don't take requests.. But hey! You already got a solid concept going and some artistic talent, you can always make it yourself for free! :0

Not really.. I've had a surprising number of uncomfortable experiences with the fandom recently so I've decided to take a step back from Octonauts for a while..

@psype

:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like them! :}}

And yeah that's how I pictured her XDD its becuase I use her the most out of all my Pokémon-

Now she's not bossy and doesn't have a leader or "I'm better that you guys" complex, none of that! She's just very intelligent and usually very level headed and calm. I can imagine that she's gotten the team safely through a lot of complicated situations and her plans/advice have rarely led the group astray.

Plus since I use her so often, I like to think that she's one of the most powerful Pokémon on the team. If not the most powerful. So whenever the group was met with a great danger, Gloria was probably the one to rescue them <XD

So the whole group kind'a gravitates behind her and lets/wants her to take the lead most of the time. Especially when things get complicated or dangerous!

@nerdyskullcap (User in ask)

I took a peek at their blog, but I couldn't find any original art of the Conductor after quite a while of scrolling through that tag.. I only found reblogs of other peoples Conductor comics.. <:(

XD That description of Gloria is very fitting! I use her the most out of all my Pokémon and she rarely loses! XDD

This was a cool read, and hey! Some of my Pokémon have some of those attacks! :000 Gloria has draining kiss and Bonnie has discharge! :D

@cat7890

I'd like to think they've never fought before.. maybe some little bickering on a bad day, but never anything serious.

They have good communication and just generally get along really well and like a lot of the same things. So there's rarely conflict between them! :0

Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you like my artwork! :}}

As for your question.. I'm afraid I don't understand/cant explain it--

Lets say I wanna draw Mario. I imagine what the drawing might end up looking like in my head, what pose I'll draw him in and what colors I'll use.. And then I just.. draw it. It might not look exactly like what I pictured but its probably close enough.

If that doesn't answer your question, I'm afraid I either don't understand your question or this is just an art thing that I don't know how to explain. <:( Sorry, feel free to send another ask with more specifics if you have them!

@sleep-deprived-fr3ak

If Bill ever became a lawyer? All hope is lost XDD

@raven-bearden-the-interviewer42

I haven't really thought about the details of the crews travels and adventures.. but I'm sure that when Louis got cursed and became a crab monster? That was probably pretty memorable XD

Probably this one honestly <XD I cant think of anything more cursed off the top of my head-

@fawncr33k

I suppose that would be fine, but I wouldn't prefer it. As I've said many times,, just comments guys! Asks, reblogs, tags, how ever you type them. I just want comments.👍

@neo-metalscottic

No problem! Getting asks are usually a pick me up :}}

As for the Dry Bones thing, that's what I meant by "not sure how it fits into the AU yet" 😅 Who'd they fight? Why did they fight? When did this happen? No idea. Its all just a neat concept with no structure yet :// And beyond the awkward living situation with the Dry Bones today, I haven't really thought about how the Koopa culture has been changed by the war. That's just way too much thinking and I'm way too sick to bother trying to figure it out atm- 💀💔 But maybe someday I'll think it through!

Now Luigi, I had this idea that he had a bizarre encounter with a 1-UP and was later bitten by a Goomba. Over the span of say... 5 days or so..? Luigi slowly got weaker and weaker until eventually he became bedridden and actually died- He came back to life moments after but it still completely shook Mario and Luigi's worlds for a sec there-

I had intended to draw a comic about this, and I made a sketch about it in the past.. but around the time I thought of this idea my Mario phase was kind'a passing over so I didn't feel like making it- <XDD

As for a potential sequel, I would like to see Wario, Waluigi and Toadsworth. Not sure why Toadsworth wasn't in the first movie- he absolutely should have been. That deep voiced purple..? council..? toad guy?? Totally should have been Toadsworth :/

And my request for the Wario bros is that they are taken seriously. 😅🤣

@cherrycreamfairy

I'm doing okay so far today, thank you! :}

@littlelightfish

I haven't really figured out the details about how Tuna and Louis lost their limbs- 😅

But I'm considering that Louis lost his arm (I assume you meant his arm-) in some kind of work related accident a long time ago. It must have been a fishing accident somehow..

As for Tuna, either some kind of natural disaster/accident or.. someone "removed" them... O-O

I do not :/ I'm not even sure what homestuck is.. I thiiink its a webcomic-

@nemo-draco

Oooo! :00 It looks cool! :DD

And thank you, I'm hoping I get over this soon too 😅

[yuurivoice]

Just wanted to say that even though I do avoid exploring any tags related to me, I do absolutely recognize and appreciate a ton of you who regularly post awesome art, headcanons, and memes.

A lot of that is thanks to people sharing those fun, awesome things! Reblogs where I end up seeing them on mutuals blogs and stuff helps, so share and gas each other up!

There are people in this community that have been here for years, who have seen this entire corner of the internet shift and grow for better or worse. The OGs who have been around before I ever made this blog know how far the community has come, how much it's stayed the same, and how much it has changed. And I've grown along with it. My aspirations and hopes and creativity has evolved so much from just doing silly little posts as an anime twink to having a full blown web series.

Despite that growth, I am still just a guy trying to tell his stories and make some voices while doing it. I have a small team around me, and without them this would be even more difficult than it already is. We're not corporate, we're independent artists and freelancers and creatives just trying to do cool stuff, and are lucky enough that something worked.

I've failed so much over the course of my life. You see the results of things, and for the most part are incredibly kind and supportive. Thousands upon thousands have appreciated my work in one way or another, and that's a dream come true for me. I never bothered wanting anything more in my life than to share stories with people. I didn't have a bucket list, or many aspirations. I was at a dead end and ready to just give up. That mentality and the time spent going in circles did a lot of damage over time.

But you found me, whether it was 6 years ago or a week ago, and whatever support and vibes you've sent my way have mattered. I won't ever lose sight of that.

I wanted to say that because I know I am not as ingrained into my own community as an active participant and that may make me seem distant, or stuck up, or something. It's not for any sort of disdain or lack of appreciation though, it's just me, and trying to keep my head clear.

You don't get an instruction manual when you're suddenly a niche internet micro celebrity. They don't tell you about scrolling through fan art at 3am and then seeing the nastiest, most mean spirited, bad faith takes about your work you've ever seen. Shit is weird, man. And it's not for me, because I give way too much of a shit about my art, and that's a flaw. My skin has gotten thicker over the years, but what happens on days when your mental health is in the shitter? Weeks where I've been fighting my demons and losing can't afford me the grace to step on a weird internet landmine brought on by the symptoms of being a creative trying and failing and succeeding all at once in a world where everyone on the internet has an opinion they want to shout into the void.

And people can do that! It's my responsibility to look after myself and set those boundaries for my own comfort, not anyone's fault for just doing their thing on the internet, ya know? Once you put yourself out there, you have to accept that people are gonna people. Same irl, shit, I've been a fat kid my whole life, I'm certainly no stranger to people being obscenely rude for no reason other than they like the sound of their own voice.

I just wanted y'all to know that even though we're well beyond the "little internet family" vibes that some creators foster, I'm not up in some ivory tower (ha, said the thing) looking down like a curmudgeon. I am rooting especially hard for all the fellow creatives out there on their own journeys, wanting to share their passion and dreams with the world as well. I want you to win, and succeed, and find fulfillment with whatever drives you to make things.

Guess I was in my feelings a little bit and just wanted to say that I do see many of you and am thankful you've allowed me to play some kind of role in entertaining, comforting, or inspiring you. That means the world to me.

[corvidcrybaby]

Hello, friend! I just stepped into Hellsing this past weekend and through my scrolling for blogs to follow, I came across yours. I found you through your posts about your OC. Based on what I've already read from you, you seem like a highly thoughtful, kind and knowledgeable person, and I've got every intention of reading your stories and commenting on them!

If it pleases you, I'd like to ask you some questions about Hellsing and your relationship to it.

1. What first drew you to the series? And is it best to follow the manga, anime, or OVA in terms of interpreting the story?

2. If it was up to you, what would you change about the story?

3. What's your take on the overall dynamic between Alucard, Integra and Seras?

4. I see the story takes quite a few artistic liberties with the lore from Dracula by Bram Stoker. Why do you suppose Alucard tried to turn Mina? Do you suppose it was for similar reasons as those for why he turned Seras?

5. I've been doing my share of research into vampire lore as of late and have come to learn that the lore Bram Stoker borrowed from for and added to through his novel contains antisemitic undertones. As a Jewish individual and a fan of the Hellsing series, how do you navigate this? (Disclaimer: I am not Jewish, which is why I did not recognize this myself until recently.)

Thanks so much for your time and attention. Happy Holidays!

First of all, oh my gosh thank you so much for the kind words! This ask made my whole day - I hope you enjoy my works, I feel like you can physically see my sense of writing develop over time but I put a shitload of heart and soul into them so I hope it shows. <3 As for your questions, I'm going to get into some major spoilers, so reader be warned beneath the Read More.

I think the general aesthetic was what drew me to the series at first. The dark, edgy and mysterious elements blended with pulpy action hero shit and campy horror form a really unique beast in terms of art, storytelling, everything. I saw someone refer to Hellsing's approach as "aesthetic maximalism" and tbh that is everything I love about it - all this, plus the surprisingly heartfelt messages about war, trauma and being human kept me coming back for more. As for which version is best to follow, I personally lean towards the manga as the main reference point, but Hirano was plenty involved (to my knowledge) with Ultimate's development since it's the adaptation that's faithful to the manga. The Gonzo 2001 anime has some fun ideas and cool moments but it's basically fanfic, including some major changes to the characters from their original versions (Integra is outright cruel at times in 2001 and way more dogmatic, Alucard is more brooding and mysterious, and Seras has more to do and feels more mature but her personality got flattened). Oh, that and BDSM as a narrative device. Love that shit.

I would make a couple of changes, personally. First and foremost, I would make it a little clearer why Alucard decided to shoot Seras before then turning her. It's never explained if he did this out of selfish desire to have a companion, or if there's some other reason - from our perspective it seems like he really did just murder Seras to make her his pet. It seems totally plausible for him to have shot the vampire holding her hostage without hurting Seras. Right now, it basically looks like a glorified abduction. However, this kind of clashes with how their dynamic develops over time, and that's clearly not the kind of relationship that's meant to be portrayed between them, as they do have a certain sort of genuine affection for one another, but it isn't delved into as much as I would like. I think making it clear one way or another would dispel the uncertainty. I would also expand on Millennium's origins and personal motivations more, and at least make the references to their crimes against Jews more overt. Beyond that, there is little I would change.

BDSM polycule. No. Literally. I don't even mean this to say that they are canonically a throuple - that misses the mark. BDSM is often sexual, but it does not need to be (plenty of dynamics exist where a dominant and submissive engage in a power exchange without ever touching one another for mutual benefit). The characters call those who direct their actions 'Master' for a reason, and it's because Hellsing is rife with themes of dominance versus submission, and how the act of bending to someone else's will is not necessarily a bad, damning thing that makes you weak. Alucard knows he is not a moral person, so he gladly allows Integra to give him orders on who to kill, who to destroy, and so on. Seras is a fearful person who has long struggled to feel a sense of agency in her life, and lacked authority figures to guide her growth. Alucard and Integra both provide her that push - and it's scary, and it hurts, and she puts up a fight all the while because she's frightened and uncertain of herself. Everyone likes to act as though Alucard hated her for this, but that seriously misses the mark. Especially in the manga, Alucard is surprisingly patient with her refusal to grow, telling her to take her time as she adapts to being a vampire. But at no point do either parties let Seras forget - growth is not optional. Eventually, she will have to accept what she is. And she ends up finding solace, belonging, and fulfillment in her service to others in this way.

I doubt it was for these reasons. Personally, I think Alucard’s affiliation with and interest in Mina Harker is often overstated by the fandom - of Dracula the novel, and of Hellsing. I view what he did to Mina as a cruel, strategic crime of opportunity, a means of striking at the heart of the team of vampire hunters that were pursuing him. That, and a means of keeping an eye on them. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aaahh that's a spicy meatball. So first and foremost I think it is important to note that a great deal of tropes in literature from the Eurosphere have some level of antisemitism baked into them. As one of the oldest forms of bigotry, it's just a fact of life. If you're Jewish and engaging with media whatsoever, you run into it. It just happens. Now, having said that, I would say two things. One, Alucard is far tamer in appearance than Dracula is in the novel. No small beady eyes, no retracted hairline of messy-fluffy hair, and while he does have an aquiline nose, it isn't this grotesque-looking oversized Zeppelin of a thing as most antisemitic caricatures would portray. That, and his negative personality traits are more than of a general brute, rather than this small-minded, vindictive, greedy miser. Having said that, he does still use seduction as a weapon, he does drink blood (blood libel), and so on. That in mind, I think where I fall is that you cannot divorce the vampire from its origins as an antisemitic trope, but you can point to the elements of the trope that aren't necessarily anti-Jewish in nature as well as say that Alucard is departed enough from these roots to be largely divorced from them. Largely, keyword.The other part to this is that antisemites in Hellsing are consistently portrayed as the villains. Indeed, it is perhaps the only usage of the Nazi Vampire trope that I think does it justice. By having the bigots that would normally insist that Jews are blood-drinking monsters be the actual monstrous enemies who kill and plunder just because it's fun for them (and that they did this as humans long before they turned to boot), it gives the impression of commentary on how Jews are often scapegoated for the crimes of actual bad actors, in the same way that Jews get blamed for the economy being bad instead of the rich corporate oil barons who sit in their ivory tower ruining shit for everyone else. That, and general commentary on warfare. Warmongers gorging themselves on the blood of innocent people that their conflicts spill is a classic allegory of the vampire - hell, for that matter, think of how many Confederate vampires there are in fiction. It isn't a coincidence (and come on, we've all seen the thumbnail for that one YouTube video essay on this, LOL). Beyond this, I also want to draw attention to two things: Tubalcain Alhambra's name, and the Captain's death. First off, the fact that Hirano named the Brazilian collaborator with the Nazis after the Alhambra Decree, a watershed moment in European antisemitism which expelled, forcibly converted or murdered all of Iberia's Jews (Sephardim), boggles my mind and to this day I think it's the coolest fucking detail about Hellsing. It links the bad guys both with religious persecution and with violent antisemitism in an unmistakable way. That, and his name, Tubalcain, being named after the son of Cain. It's all very pointed.

Second, the fact that the Captain gives Seras the tools needed to kill him and it's a silver tooth? That Pip specifies comes from a death camp victim and makes it crystal clear for narrative purposes that it represents the crimes of the Nazis coming back to bite them? That's powerful, to me, IMO. It, too, links Millennium with their antisemitic crimes against humanity in a way that you really cannot make excuses for. I've spoken about this with fellow Jewish Hellsing fans, mind you, and my take is more charitable than most. If you want to be specific with it, the widely agreed-on way to properly discuss Nazism is to show point blank that their victims were primarily Jews, first and foremost - and in that, Hellsing falls short, as there isn't a single Jewish character in the series, named or otherwise (which is a gap I wanted to fill through my fanfiction). Having said that, I personally think that as far as depictions of Nazis in anime goes, it's one of the better ones out there - but it isn't perfect, and the style Hellsing is written in (it's basically opera, after all, Bertolt Brecht forgive me) kind of made that a forgone conclusion. Make of that what you will.

Thanks for the questions!!!

[junniorstarbreak]

Blog Update Cause it 2024 !!

Hello everyone! Maybe you guys have forgotten that you were following me lol, since I have been inactive and sporadic here. Social media has changed so hard ever since the purge and the pandemic, but it 2024 so it is time I just reclaim myself and my dreams and goals...

And to give everyone a proper explanation of what that entails and what my plans would be moving forward, in fact this post is to help me come clean with my feelings and experiences so I can accept them and move on, that doesn't mean this will be my last post on this account, but more so that I want to create a cleaner slate for me to get stuff done~

For starters when I started this blog I did it because of an old fandom friend, we became close due to our love for Steven Universe, she became like a beacon, a mentor figure to how to interact online with people, as you can tell from that I'm pretty much part of the OG 2014 era of Tumblr, that boom where Superwholock and the Homestuck fandom where at their peak, witnessed Undertale's humble demo beginnings and how when it released in full it became a viral sensation, something that only tumblr had the power to do, which has been hard to replicate on a social media such as twitter and even harder everywhere else. (Which is why I think games like Omori didn't generate enough traction in comparison)

Tumblr got me through my darkest times after 2013 when I unfortunately got abused by my principal and I had lost all sense of direction, it became a place of comfort and happiness, better than facebook, and more flexible than twitter, I was living and having fun and discovering more about myself, exploring me as a person and my interests, it was my fave go to website during my university years while I grew artistically and got the chance to come out of my shell and meet new friends.

It was an inspiring place with so much to discover, seeing cool peeps, cool fan art, memes, people of so many walks of life and stories whether outlandish or truthful, you could easily interact with people and discover new fandoms and have so much fun, I got to meet nice people, cool artists, inspiring fellas, and precious friends I'll never forget.

I began my tumblr with the idea of joining fandoms and post art, but obviously I was a newbie in those regards, I developed this hyperfixation of keeping up with my dash (do people still call it that?) and always scroll down to the very last post of the day before, while I juggled my academic life and my working life (since I had to pay for my Uni) somehow I focused more on just laughing and reblogging anything I found cool, which meant my first Tumblr became a reblogging personal space, which meant my art posts would get swamped (even tho I had an art tag) so I pretty much gave up on the idea of having an art blog since I didn't have much time for art anyways, and I had to be more focused in my academic life than on being active here or making stuff to post.

In a way tho, that made me feel invisible and made me develop the usual worries such as wanting to go viral, having thousands of notes, being noticed, having a popular post, having thousands of followers, being noticed by cool people or artists, being ACTIVE, having fun with EVERYONE, being recognized in a fandom, being part of something, never feeling enough, making cool projects and getting opportunities... those insecurities led to anxieties, and those anxieties were demoralizing and paralyzing...

As the years went by though, my friend left the internet, wherever she is, I wish her well on her journey, I am thankful for the time together; meanwhile I was dealing with the pressure and stress of my final years of Uni, and also that dreaded feeling of worthlessness and anxiety of feeling far away from my original plans and goals, I felt low... compared to peers or people in the industries I wanna be a part of, which made me feel even worst and stuck, when I finally graduated I felt aimless and without structure, then I got a job at an unfortunalte TOXIC Publicity Agency...

Agencies are as draining and demanding as the worst places to work, enter at 8:00 am and go home till 10:00 pm... yep big NOPE... a draining job like that just made me feel worst about myself, about my art skills, about me as a person, while you had younger peeps becoming viral artists or activists, I felt I was sinking into constant panic and worry thinking this was my life now for years to come, without aspiring to be anything else... it worsen the clinical depression I was experiencing, It's a life I have no plans to return to, I know better now, but oh boy, that was 2019 so... you know what happens next 2020 and... the pandemic was not kind to me, mental breakdowns and borderline suicidal, I WAS A WRECK, and it took some time to heal from those scars of loss, tragedy, abuse, trauma... always overworking without realizing I was straying away from my dreams... always comparing myself to others who I've never met (sometimes I still do) and not trying to rise above the drowning sinkhole I was in...

So... I became so envious and jealous of others success, and became more recluse and shut down, I felt alienated, and alone, hopeless and done... the worst

To this day I still gotta work through my negative feelings, since I still feel excluded from the circles I wanna be a part of, from art communities, from fandoms, maybe because I don't like this thing everyone else is liking, specially people who I look up to enjoying and vibing with a thing together but me being invisible and in the background unable to achieve the same, but... I know that's on me and not on people who have never met me (parasocialism can damn you) so... that's why I am taking the time to write this long post, I kept postponing it over and over again, but it is time I finally take this step for my sake, and the sake of my dreams.

I was inspired to finally start a new chapter in my life and career by the support of new people I've met, a much more forgiving family, and by an AMAZING psychiatrist that has helped me improve my mental state so let me ramble a bit just to finish.

I recently finished Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure (By recently I mean February, but you know I was postponing this post for months now) and honestly even though I have been a massive magical girl nerd for years, I never got to finish a Pretty Cure season before, this is legit my first time doing so and I don't regret it, because it a season with the important message on how to be truthfully strong, and having the fortitude of moving on regardless of how painful it can be, and an episode that spoke to me was when Sora felt like she couldn't be an hero anymore, and returned to her homeland to just live a normal life, later on she found the drive to become an hero again, and her dad said a phrase that still rings true "Even if your dream shatters, or you lose it... it will come back to you"... ever since, I felt the need to finally take that step that scares me and gives me anxiety... an that is, to say goodbye to the past and start anew, make a new space for myself, a new tumblr, new accounts, new name... new me, make a clean place that is just for my art, the things I love, the things I enjoy, the things I wanna talk about, an active place surrounded by people who will love my stuff and who will support my projects.

Because even if I don't get into an industry that doesn't mean I have to stop creating, I don't wanna be invisible and just reblog all the time, I wanna MAKE, I wanna CREATE, I want to post art and share my love and experience with others in a better place that actually feels mine, where I can start from scratch and defeat those negative feelings, I don't need to be viral or make a hit game or anything like that, I just need to enjoy life and grow as a person while I work towards my dreams and ambitions, because, I don't want to be scared anymore, I want to just take that first step and no longer make excuses not to, I wanna be reborn and do better for myself...

As for these old tumblr? It gonna remain as a personal space for reblogs and what not, I don't think it needs to be deleted or deactivated but I am sure it will get ocassional use and not constant as I'll be focusing on my life plans~

Thank you so much for reading till the end, it is quite the lenghty post but, I had these feelings in my chest for years and finally have the bravery to free them into the world.

I also want to recommend BUCCHIGIRI?! underrated anime😤 it had to compete with Dungeon Meshi for attention, but boy is it worth a watch, specially if you anime like DBZ, it pumps you with adrenaline and the story is a heartfelt endeavor of growth and how to deal with your inner demons!

So what are my next steps? well... I am planning to watch Wonderful Precure and probs Kaiju No.8 plenty of shows I wanna watch and enjoy honestly~

Anyways, here is my new tumblr link!

Sure, it a work in progress, but I am ready to make it my new home and become a better me now :3

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

so i've been extremely overwhelmed by....... i guess everything online lmao, it's really hard to focus on things when you're constantly bombarded with things you don't really need at the moment

i'm trying to get back into journaling but damn it's so hard. i know my head isn't empty, i spawn walls of texts almost daily, but my mind goes blank when i'm in front of an open notebook because i don't know what's truly worthy of writing down? it's kind of like with drawing at this point. i'm stuck with the art block because i don't know what's worthy of drawing. and guess what made me feel this way? the social media lmfao. i hate that literally every idea i consider cool i never depict because my brain immediately goes like, "who cares about this?", "this won't get noticed and also you're too late, so don't be cringe", etc

i hate this so much idk. anyway, i think i'm going to make a list of things to focus on, both personal projects/artistic inspirations and fandom related ones. i do have things i overfixate on for years, so why am i letting myself be distracted by some random content ideas that only matter to me for like a day or two...?

i should also start limiting inspirations in general, looking at my folder rn and realizing that there are just WAY TOO MANY things i want to incorporate into my work and it really overwhelms me. reminds me of various artists saying that "less is more" and holy crap i should start limiting myself. this is something i slowly started to realize on my own when i did some pixel art, which is limited already due to its nature, with some color palettes instead of randomly staring at a color wheel for half an hour, not being able to decide which one to use.

also i found out about artfol, social media for artists, and so far it seems promising? haven't tried it yet, maybe i will upload some stuff there later. also maybe i'll finally sort everything here on tunglr dot com and make a separate art blog and will use this one as my "main"-diary-esque blog where i won't post much. it's not like i'm on here anyway, my dash feels overwhelming so i don't even scroll past 3-4 posts a day anymore on here. i'm tired of social media. it doesn't feel personal anymore, it's not fun, not interesting...

fomo effect used to fuck me up before something clicked and i stopped scrolling things. because due to nature of the modern internet, i have more chances of stumbling across useful/interesting information if i just keep scrolling through junk. since as you know, google is dead anyway, shit is hard to find these days, and indeed, every cool thing i managed to find was through random braindead scrolling (post 2016 i mean, i miss mid 2000s era when stuff was actually GOOGLEABLE and you didn't need to scroll long ass feed to stumble across cool things, you could get there at your own pace while just surfing the web). so the habit was made worse by "damn what if i miss some obscure post that features obscure cool thing that will matter to me once i get to know it??" but i'm just so fucking exhausted... everything i love about the internet because so dormant, niche even. the internet, as i define it, is dead to me. it's really heartbreaking

[hollypies]

Hi hello, I read your Hollow Cells fic a bit ago and it finally motivated me to play Dead Cells. I had played HK years ago and am still super into it and Dead Cells has been sitting in my steam library so I finally played it and am really enjoying it! Ending up scrolling through the Dead Cells tag and found your blog through that LOL very happy to see the creator of the fic! Really enjoying it, thanks so much for sharing it! I’m excited for more but ofc don’t feel pressured or burn yourself out. That is all, hope you have a good day/night!!

wo ag !!!!!!!

Thats! So cool!!! Im super glad you're enjoying dead cells! If you didn't get the dlcs I'd recommend getting them when they go on sale ! Super fun :]

And I'm also glad you're liking Hollow Cells too! I know it takes me a while to write more chapters but hgshhs I will! Get to it i promise! I'm more of an artist than a writer lol. It's alwasy so cool that other people like Hollow Cells because the whole thing is just me being self indulgent wjth two of my fav games..

Oh don't forget to mess around with the accessibility settings in Dead Cells if you need to! They're a life saver sometimes. Especially enemy outlines jhjhv

[lostinmcyt]

So seeing as I don’t have irl friends to talk to about dsmp lore shenanigans, I decided to come here with my latest experience, plz don’t mind me ^^’

I was just scrolling through a dsmp artist’s blog to see if I wanted to follow them, and I found their discussion of Quackity’s latest lore stream - specifically the slime army bit and how they felt it was ‘out of left field’ and ‘out of character’ for c!Quackity. Like, wow my guy. Way to miss… everything? ccQuackity has been doing and building up with his character? How c!Quackity is not ‘healing’ or ‘learning’ but instead is leaning further and further into his pursuit of power and control? At the end of the day it doesn’t matter, people can think/feel whatever they want, but it very much reminded me exactly why I almost entirely stick with dreblr for lore discussions. Namely because you guys both pay attention to and respect what cc’s do with their lore, and keep things fun.

I guess I just want to say thanks to you and the rest of dreblr for being here and being cool :)

- Blob anon

we interrupt visa posting for this anon, I'm giving u a hug thanks for being around here <3 c!q lore best lore he didn't put his entire ass into his character for people to miss the point so badly!! and it's like well dreblr kind of has to follow everyone's lore, it's not like our streamer streams his pov so we have to be everywhere searching for scraps. + most of us major in cdream and minor in one or two other characters. so that gives us collectively the advantage of actually knowing what other characters are up to at all times :D

hope you're well <3

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[peachyunjinnie]

any blogs you wanna send love to? they don't have to be writers— i'm trying to prove a point here!❤️️❤️️

this is 1.5k and is officially more than most of my fics- ENJOY I GUESS??

@ammuqwer Alice, i love you and your lovely compliments you give me all the time to hype me up :’). you are so talented and such an amazing writer and friend. i could not tell you how fUNNY YOU ARE ecila sotl uoy evol i ;)💗

@bangchanismybias i don’t even know how to tell you how much you mean to me with all the support you give me with EVERY SINGLE POST I MAKE it’s so crazy the amount of happiness you bring me when i see your name pop up with every post on my phone! love you!!!💗

@channiesmixtape woody :( ugh where the actual heck should i start? you are for real the biggest and coolest writer that i know one here and with the amazing jungwoo content you give us is just-😞 you are one of the big writers that inspired me to write as well and that was one of the best decisions i could have made on here, to switch from reader to writer! i love you and your selcas! (forreal you is a goddess)💗

@chanonymous s n e h a  m y  p u p p y  m o m  i am your problematic cutie and i love it! we don’t interact as much as we could but the times we do i really have such an amazing time to talk to you and talk about stuff that are just often talked about! i seriously learned some physics for you and i cannot believe that i did but i would do it again for you💗

@cherryeol04 CHERRY! okay, you are so cute and so adorable idK WHY BUT YOU ARE!!! you deserve so much and nothing but the absolute best! your fics are really so well written and you are one of the most underrated artists on here. you really create art on here and that’s nothing but the truth. i love you and i wish to reach your level of writing one day!💗

@doubleknot42 sky!! wow! we haven’t talked in a hot minute but your cute little outfit shows would make my day brighter and better! just to see that is so adorable and how you would thrist over Conan is so relatable! i love you so so much and i wish you nothing but the very very best!!!💗

@gabiog1me gabiiii! i know we just started talking but you are so nice and kind already! it’s actually pretty cool to see and have some black friends on here and kind of have the ability to rant over some stuff that someone with a darker skin color would understand better! and your music taste is A+!!! you are amazing and your a-z is on the way;)💗

@jisungsjheekies lin! you are really with woodles and nicole the biggest blogs that are supporting me and i could not tell you how that literally boosted my energy and my ideas to post! your appreciation posts were just something i would see every single day and would really love! you are such a great writer and your selca is WOW just WOW- love ya!!💗

@kinkywoojins SAMMY SAM! okay okay, the moment i realized that i know you hoe i was 😦 like just 😦. DESTINY IS SUCH AN AMAZING THING HAHAHA i love you mom and i love your posts! if you post again i can bet my left eyebrow i will be the first one to read the masterpiece. AND YOU ARE SO SO GORGEOUS LIKE WOW- THE DOUBLE KNOT PHOTOSHOOT WAS A WHOLE AESTHETIC- i love you so sooooo much!!💗

@lordseochangbin Mel, you are probably really one of the accounts that has the best humor. when you post some crackhead posts i just always have to lie down to calm down and not have an asthma attack and die. PLUS you are so talented! the tennis fic was fuCK so GOOD!! i am so honored to say that you my friend on here! love uuu uwu💗

@lixieslexie LEXIE! okay okay okay. you made me nearly cry when you said that you watched Ghibli movies and I COULD NOT PUT IN WORDS HOW PROUD I AM you are really so pure and such a sweetheart and you have found my softspot some way and now you are my C U T I E. i love u💗

@mrbangchannie meggie meg :) you are so precious and you are so crazy! you are an amazing writer, a beauty, crackhead humor queen and such an amazing friend! we have to talk more and send some crackhead pics cuz i need to send it to someone on here but no one would really get it tbh💀💗

@mikoto-ica-fics m i c a  okay so, YOUR DEMON EYE PIC WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I AM NOT KIDDING YOU ARE SO SO SO SO PRETTY!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE TO SEE THE EVERY SINGLE ONE ON HERE IS SO GORGEOUS AND THEN THERE’S ME LIKE WOW JUST WOW UNFAIRNESS AT AN ENTIRE DIFFERENT LEVEL- but you are such a pure person and your writing skill is another level of genius. love yuuuu💗

@mini-meanhoe summi🥺 i can’t believe that you are FINALLY my friend and now that we are and the pics you send me of bald stray kids i really do not regret it a SINGLE bit. BUT YOUR FLIRTY ASS NEEDS TO STOP like i kinda just have a constant bellyache from laughing because you of your flirty actions- you are the death of me and i am really not minding it at all hshshhah. also your writing is so good and you have to continue cuz nabi needs more to read! i LOVE you💗

@nightshade-minho miKA i love you and you are so hardworking and i really admire you on another level. i wish i could maintain such a huge blog like yours! you are really a mAgIcAL person cuz no way a normal human being is so cute and talented. when i saw that you’re following me i shit you not i had a 20 minute happydance in my room- imma end this before i expose my cringy ass too much, i luv u💗

@particularemu nicole! we haven’t interacted really but i really had to say this if you see this or something! you are awesome! you are great! you are incredible, you are wonderful! i love you and your sometimes random hyunjin reblogs and i could not get enough of them! i love you lots💗

@starryseung ivy, i saw that the admin changed into mia so imma just say that you both are great and i really love to read the various posts and just to scroll on the dashboard to see your posts! i love you two and you two are really so special!💗

@seungmins-sunshine ANNA I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU  I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU nothing else to say than that💗

@shari-skz shari! a fellow hyunjin stan and basically my sister...? anna’s family is complicated and i am so confused with who i am related to on here bUT what was about to say is that you brighten up everyone on here so much through the many hateful and irrelevant anons! i love your child ass and i hope we can talk more in the future!💗

@thevampywarlock aShY AsH I LOVE YOU. I SEE YOU AND I INSTANTLY UWU HARD IDK WHY BUT THE ENERGY YOU GIVE OFF IS SO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN STAY NORMAL AND I HOPE YOU CAN ALWAY COME TO ME WHEN YOU NEED TO AND WHEN YOU FEEL SAD OR SOMETHING CUZ I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN💗

@vocalyunhoamelie!!!! the way we first interacted was so weird and so cool at the same time! and the anonie you gave me on your blog really just hits different🥺 and it will stay our little secret hehee i love you and i hope i can get into more of your ateez work!!!💗

@yangomangos MANGOS! mh where to start, you are so adorable and so...idk just give me cute vibes? i was the most nervous little shit to text you because you kinda seemed like a celebrity to me JHGSJHGJASHHI with all of your work being out there and just thriving! you are such a baby and i will not argue over you being a baby! i love you and i really hope we can have better days in the future!💗

@yoyo-mans haya! i really don’t even know where to start with you! you are really such a huge huge friend for me and i couldn't tell you if i would be still here without you by my side. i want you to know that you are absolutely amazing and beautiful! i love you so much and i hope we can make many memories together!💗

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

[voiceoftheashari]

hey i'm just starting to get into critical role! are there any cool blogs i should follow / things in fandom to know?

!!!

First of all, super humbled by the fact that you asked me to give you some info, second of all you have made a good decision. I’m going to pop this under a cut because I tend to get a little rambley but I’m going to try not to be to not scare you away!

I’d recommend starting with the Critical Role Primer, which explains the different characters, both Player Characters (including Guest Stars!) and Non-Player Characters, the different arcs that the crew has had so far up to the most recent episodes. 

Geek And Sundry has some great things tossed throughout the episode posts I’d also scroll through. To get to know the team better, I’d at least go and read their playlists and explanations, it gives you great insight to what might be motivating each one.

Some great blogs to follow would be CriticalRoleSource, just be careful though because you will see some spoilers there as well as with some fan artists I’ll reference you to.

First artist you should check out is one of the official artists that’s been hired on and off, Wendy. Obviously she’ll be posting some other things outside of CritRole, but her art is gorgeous and always on point. The second one I would check out is sketchingsparrow, her character designs are some of the best out there. You’ll regularly see her sketches and art featured in the fan art section of the show! Her Vax’ildan designs are really one of my favorites.

Like with all fandoms, there’s silly things like wank and ship wars, but in all honesty I think that the Critters (at least the ones I know and interact with) tend to not be nearly as hostile about it? 

If you don’t feel like starting with the beginning (highly recommend though), two of my favorite arcs are the Briarwoods and The Feywild (which I believe the primer includes in the Vestiges arc). And I’d recommend doing something else while watching the episodes because they are long (3 to about 5 hours at most) or taking them in chunks. When I started, it would take me about 3 days to complete one episode because I found myself drifting out of focus around an hour. Take it slow, take a deep breath, and keep asking if it’s Thursday.

Good luck! I hope you have a great time with the show, it’s really interesting and the actors are FANTASTIC.

[adventurousrecovery]

You Wish

I was beaten and I let him. By the end of our relationship I was being called names, accused of doing things I hadn't done, constantly put down, and anything I did was never good enough. Our relationship ended and I had no idea who I was. I fell apart only to put myself back together. Five years later my ex contacts me via my artist page. I had recently changed the name on my personal page, making it difficult for clients and weirdos to find me. I am glad I did so. I finally enter into a relationship after 5 years and shortly after am contacted by my ex, who is now married with a kid.

(December 11, 2017)

Ex: Hey, Caitlin! How are you!?

Me: I am doing well. It's been a tough year with changes and losses, but has drastically taken a turn.

(December 12, 2017)

Ex: I'm sorry to hear you've been through some stuff, but I'm thankful things seem to be getting better! Listen...I was going through some stuff and stumbled upon your old gameboy. I thought you might appreciate getting it back.

*sends picture of the gameboy*

Me: Yes!

Ex: Awesome! Well I'm not sure what your schedule is like these days, but just let me know and we'll figured something out.

Me: I live in Terre Haute, but occasionally come south for the weekends and appointments. I will be down south this weekend, but not sure if I will make it to Eville on Sunday. I have numerous things in Evansville Monday and plan on attending AOC.

Ex: Ok that's fine. Just send me a message when you're in town and we'll work something out!

Me: Sounds good!

Me: Did you happen to find any cartridges that went with it?

Ex: Pokemon Special Pikachu is in it. If there were any other cartridges you had that are missing I'm more than happy to replace them. The kids used them...so there's no tellin where they may be at this point!

Me: Naw, that's fine.

( I only wanted my Pokemon cartridge because I was obsessed with it as a child and the most important of the few I had. I never contacted him. My weekend was so overwhelming with the introduction of my dog to my family while being reminded as to why I limit visits. I was so upset and anxious by being home that I thought it best to return to Terre Haute. I did not inform him. I didn't have to. I owed him nothing. I spent the week reflecting on how far I had come since he had broken up with me. I needed to remind myself of the person I had become.)

(December 23, 2017)

Me: I will be in Eville this evening. Is there a time that works for you?

Ex: Shouldn't matter too much. I have a house over by UE off walnut. Where will you be?

(Why mention the location of your house? Attempted bragging? Did he expect me to stop by, alone? Pffft....please.)

Me: I will be at AOC. I may also be somewhere before or after that depending on my sister and her choice place of meeting for Christmas exchange.

Ex: Ok just let me know when you're in town and we'll figure it out.

(His grammar and punctuation became sloppy compared to when he first messaged me. I did not respond, but 3 hours later he felt a need attempt to gain control.)

Ex: I'll just plan on meeting you over at AOC if that's ok

Me: Sure, before or after? The parking lot is jank because it is under construction so parking is on the side streets.

Ex: Probably before. What time will you be there?

Me: Hahaha no clue because I am currently making Christmas treats and it is not going well.

(The treat making not going well was true. However, I did know what time I would arrive, 6:30 when it started at 7:00. I needed time to compose and center myself.)

Ex: Lol it's all good. Whatever works for you is cool with me.

Me: I will try to be there 15 min early, but it is in the big building not the small.

Ex: Ok when does it start? 7?

Me: Yes

Ex: Cool

(3 hours later)

Me: I'm here. The entrance that faces Lincoln is open with the flag pole

Ex: What are you driving?

(Why did that matter? I kept my description minimal. The lack of lighting and parking on the side streets would make it difficult for him to locate my car.)

Me: My Pontiac, but I'm inside.

(I wanted it to be clear that I was not stepping outside. If he wanted to meet he had to put forth effort. I had contacted other members and informed them of his history and that we were meeting. They were there for safety. He arrived 10 minutes before the meeting. He brought his son and wife. Members acknowledged his arrival, greeting him with hugs though he hadn't been to a meeting there since we dated. I know because I was terrified I would see him there after we broke up. He avoided eye contact. In fact, he handed me my gameboy while having a conversation with someone else, not even looking in my direction. I thanked him. His family left. I expected more, but was happy it was over. I thought maybe he had changed was going to make an amends considering it is a 12 Step program. Nope. During the meeting, he further messages me and it took a completely different direction of weird while confirming his narcissistic personality.)

Ex: Hey listen...I wanted to stay and talk with you a bit, but you seemed upset. I didn't want to ruin your night or anything. Since I had the family with me I didn't think it would be best to stick around...especially if you feel any animosity toward me. I just wanted to give you your gameboy. Thought it might make you happy to have it back after all these years. If you're upset with me about something please let me know so I can do my best to fix it. Praying for you...and I sincerely hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Caitlin.

(He assumed I was upset, creating a situation that doesn't exist so he might wiggle his way into my life and feel better about himself. My happiness is not nor was it ever dependent on the return of my Gameboy. Therefore, there is nothing to fix. I mended myself.)

(Minutes later)

Ex: Can I call you or you call me when you leave there? I don't want there to be any unresolved issues anymore. I can feel there are. *gives me his number*

(That's a fuck no. I will not provide a means of further harassment.)

(2 hours later)

Ex: It's been 5 years. That's a long time to hold onto something. I can't make it better if you don't let me. I'm here when you're ready to talk.

(He thought about it for hours. What makes him think he has the power to "make it better"? It is clear that it is bothering him more than it has me. I was given 5 years of being single to rebuild my life and become the woman that I am. I am aware of his manipulative, sneaky, and narcissistic games. I have the advantage. I worked through the emotions surrounding our relationship. He jumped into another relationship before ours was over, distracting himself from whatever core issue is now currently eating at him.)

(December 24, 2017)

I received a message from my ex's wife via my artist page and personal page.

Wife: Good morning Caitlin. I hope this message finds you well. I read your blog and am saddened by the picture you've painted of (insert Ex's name here). He is a excellent father and husband, nothing like what you have depicted. (Insert ex's name here) has never spoken badly of you and only said that he ended the relationship between you and him because he didn't see a future with you and didn't want to lead you on. This was before I met him and I understand people make mistakes. But he is not the monster you make him sound like. The time you had with him was a fraction of the years we have been together. I have been in a relationship with him since August 2013 and while he has flaws like everyone, he has grown into a wonderful, god-fearing, hardworking man. You do not know who he is. While you were in his life for a season, you cannot possible know who he is now. I'm not saying that he didn't do anything to hurt you. What I am saying is he is not the same person he was when he first started recovery. We recently moved into our first home and while we were moving one of the kids found your gameboy. The only intentions Abe had were to do a kind deed in the spirit of Christmas. In no way was he trying to be malicious or cause you pain. (Insert ex's name here) is a changed man from what you knew. I urge you as a sister in Christ to forgive as Christ forgave us. He has moved on and is happy and that's all he wishes for you. I pray you find happiness and wish you all the best. Merry Christmas.

(While viewing this message I accidentally highlighted the conversation, emojis popped up while I attempted to scroll and hit the thumbs down. I did not know how to take back, but I assume it did not go over well for I received another message.)

Wife: Obviously you aren't at a point in your life where we can handle things like mature adults. I'm sorry to have wasted your time and mine. Either way, I hope you have a good Christmas.

Me: Due to the holiday I had the intention of waiting to respond, but because I am not technologically savvy, I accidentally hit a thumbs down and it was misinterpreted. I have and had every intention of responding, but due to the holidays I request that out of respect and consideration for all involved, we each take time to spend time with our families. Merry Christmas!

(First of all, why am I of any concern to his wife? Second, why is my blog of any interest? Third, for one to assume I have not healed or endured such a painful process is quite judgemental. Determining my happiness based on your life aspirations and experiences judgemental and close-minded. Healing, happiness, and truth are dependent upon the perspective of the individual to whom it matters most, myself. Lastly, my words are not untrue because they come from a different perspective. All that I have written is based on my personal perspective and experience in the time I spent with him. I would like to think he is a changed man and I hope to God he is, but the abuse happened. He did not lay a hand on me, but physical touch is not required to meet the criteria for abuse. I continue to see him as the person he once was for I never saw who he became. Why would I? Our relationship ended and there was no reason to reconvene and share stories. Abuse is a form of trauma and it took its toll on my mentality and I admit I am still affected by those past experiences. For example, I was driven by fear, paranoia, and convinced everything had an ulterior motive and that returned in my writing of this post. It doesn't mean it is wrong. I was shown what was not to be tolerated in a relationship and for that I am thankful for I have refused to settle for less than what I deserve. I did not deserve him. I deserved much better.

I spoke to my sponsor, as one does when such an issue might arise in recovery, and saw my part. I should clarify this posting is not a form of retaliation or intended to do harm, but is a personal perspective of true events. I know what I want and how I would like this to be "fixed" assuming that it can be or needs to. However, my request to my ex is recovery based without the influence of others and should be left at that. That request cannot be guaranteed and for me to take action in an attempt to force things to be "fixed" is handing my problems to God only to snatch them back again. I pray for God's will and his timing, that should the opportunity arise I be given the words to speak that others may hear to reach resolution.