#I just found this in my drafts with the tag 'post when new season is on'

[ravcnism]

STRIKEOUT. ( PART 2 ) — KEN SATO x Male!Athlete READER

Summary: An after-party. A conversation-turned-confrontation. Kenji finally meets the esteemed Toyo Bullet and struggles to define the difference between anger, terror, and infatuation.

# # TAGS: Even More Tension, Kenji Has a Good Relationship with His Team, Intense First Encounter, Domestic Sato Family Shenanigans

# # WARNINGS: Mature Language, Alcohol Consumption, Nothing Too Crazy, No Beta Again We Die Like Onda

Note: Okay, here we go: the actual second part. Again, I am so sorry for accidentally publishing my draft earlier — I am ill with embarrassment. But I’m very happy to know that people look forward to it! If you read the false-post, then you’ve only read half of the chapter. This one has over 3000 words more! Enjoy.

“It was a nail-biter of a game here at the New Tokyo stadium tonight, folks. Right off the bat, both teams were going neck and neck, toe-to-toe. And it seemed like neither one was willing to give an inch! Our home team managed to pull off a narrow victory in the end, and by narrow, I mean narrow, Kiba.”

“That is absolutely right, Sasaki. I truly have never seen anything like it in my entire career. And you know- you know I know a lot of baseball. You know I’ve been doing this for many years, but wow! Just- insane.”

“Truly a close call. Eight additional innings? To break the tie? I cannot believe it. Let me tell you, neither the Hiroshima Toyo Carp nor the Yomiuri Giants wanted to lose today.”

“If you look at the crowd, It looks like everyone’s been wanting to go home.”

Exhausted was an understatement. Kenji hadn’t felt this drained after a game since, well, only months ago: when he was still juggling the responsibilities of raising a baby Kaiju, carrying the weight of being Ultraman, and maintaining his reputation as a well-known baseball player. All of these, on top of the sleepless nights, no longer hindered him from his work. He usually left the stadium feeling brand new every single time — regardless of whether they won or lost. He had grown and learned to lean on people, to ask for help, accept defeat. Which was good and all that, but the point was: he was exhausted from this game. You had him panting for air like an overworked dog.

Shimura had Kenji on the field for longer than he should have been. While his younger, more egotistical self might have loved his moment in the spotlight, running base to base for six innings in a row was unsurprisingly really tiring. The teams had hit a clean tie by the ninth inning, and the tie-breaker lasted for eight more. You were eating their rookies alive and having their journeymen for dessert. When Shimura realized that Sato was the only one batting your pitches, he had him play for every round after the tie. The only times Kenji wasn’t on the field was when you weren’t either. Which wasn’t a lot. It scared him how you looked like you could throw that ball for days.

“Hiroshima’s L/n is just- an absolute unit, isn’t he?”

“He certainly is, Kiba. He certainly is. I mean his performance was near inhuman tonight. Each pitch was a gem and we- he really wanted us to know that he’s here, he’s ready, and he’s willing to change Japanese baseball. He was a major force out there on the field.”

“I cannot agree with you more. But credit where credit is due, we all know that the only reason the Giants are coming home with tonight’s win is because of none other than Ken Sato himself.”

“That’s right, Sato really put up a fight. L/n was throwing him off balance every time, but he always found his footing. I think tonight might have been the hardest I’ve seen him work. You know he- he usually makes his plays look effortless — disregarding last season’s slump.”

“I say he held his own very, very impressively. The team was right to rely on him. I know we’ve spoken a lot about their tension, but I’d say it’s their dynamic that really drove the point home. They were like- mirrors of each other out there. When you put two equal forces together, they deflect. You know what I’m saying?”

Kenji’s hand shook with a weakness he wasn’t familiar with. He stared at his calloused palm and noticed his fingers twitching. Shit. It really was some game. He might have been hitting the ball, but he was barely getting it through the field. Not only were your pitches fast, but there was weight to them, too. He was witnessing the caliber of your capabilities; understanding why you were the talk of every city.

The rest of the Giants came walking into the locker room, jeering and laughing amongst themselves. “That L/n is a real piece of work, ain't he?” Shirakumo, number 24, sat himself next to Kenji, unlacing his shoe. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Did you see the look on Tateoka’s face?” Yuki laughed, smacking his thigh. “Dude was scared shitless!”

“Hey!” Tateoka frowned in reply, tugging his jersey off his arms. “You try standing in front of that guy and telling me you don't feel a little threatened.” He shuddered, remembering the look in your eyes. Dark and pointed and menacing. “He was staring me down like he was gonna—”

“Eat you alive?” Kenji scoffed.

The team went silent, then erupted into a cluster of teasing ‘oooh’s. God. It reminded him of highschool.

“Oohh, yeah.” Yamada, number 21, slid over to him with a teasing tone. He wrapped an arm around Kenji’s shoulder and squeezed him closer. “I don't think I've ever seen Sato so shaken!”

He laughed, playfully pushing him away. He was also actually really sore on that shoulder. Hell, he could already feel the pain he’d need to go through just to get up tomorrow. He was going to need another ice bath. The rest of the boys jumped in on the jokes.

“Did you see the way he was looking at you Ken?” Tokuda opened his locker, grabbing a shirt from the top shelf. He whistled. “Like he wanted your head on a plate.”

Tanaka chuckled. “He wanted you dead, man!”

Kenji rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Let's not get carried away. I never said I was shaken.”

“But that last bat was sweet as hell.” Yuki nodded. “I doubt any of us would've gotten through the guy if it weren't for Sato.”

“Well, duh.” Shirakumo shrugged. None of the Giants denied it. Ken was their star player. And tonight proved it more than ever. “We owe you for drinks, bud. Give us a date and we'll treat ya’ to someplace you like.” He slapped Ken’s back affectionately, which elicited a pained groan. “Shit, sorry.”

Kenji’s watch started beeping. He flinched at the sound, eyes widening slightly. “Uh, see you in a sec, guys. I gotta take this.”

He was there a moment, then gone the next. Kenji rushed himself out the hallways and into an empty locker room to answer Mina’s call. “Hey!” he greeted, anxiously. A screen projected itself from his watch and lit up his face. “Hey. Hi. What's wrong? Everyone alright? I know I said I'd be home soon, but the game took way longer than–”

He was interrupted by cheering. His father clapped and whooped with excitement as Emi occupied the background, screeching with glee. Kenji could see the ground shaking as she was jumping around and doing her special dance. One of Mina’s arms was protruding from the wall and waving celebratory flags. It immediately put a smile on his face, easing the tension from his shoulders. He was always happy to see everyone alright, and even happier to see them as their silly selves.

“Kenji!” cheered Hayao. “That was an incredible game! You were unstoppable!” The professor chuckled. Emi picked him up into a hug, slightly toppling the camera over. His legs swung like a ragdoll’s. “Okay, okay girl-”

Ken laughed, slightly shaking his head. “Easy, Emi. Put Grandpa down.”

“It was a very impressive game, Ken. Perhaps one of your bests.” Mina’s calculative yet affectionate voice echoed from his watch.

Hayao fell to the floor with an ‘oof’. “You didn't tell me you were playing against THEE Mets’ Bullet!” He scrambled to stand up, barely leaning on his cane. “I wasn’t even aware that he was signed into the Carp!”

Kenji’s smile immediately faded. “Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “He was alright, I guess. And we don’t actually know if he signed into it or if he was traded. We barely heard anything about him from the press.”

“Alright?” Professor Sato gasped, appalled. “Kenji, he was spectacular! He’s a lot like you, you know. I’ve always suspected that the both of you equalled in skill, but to see it in action? Phew.” He wiped some pretend sweat off of his forehead. “What a show! Eight extra innings to break a tie? Unbelievable! I highly doubt that he was traded. Who in their right mind would purposely lose a player like that?”

Kenji scoffed. “He wasn’t that good.” His sore limbs would like to say otherwise.

“He had you chasing after his pitches like a dog!”

“I don’t like that analogy.”

“I ought’ to rewatch that documentary they made about him. You know they’ve done studies on the physics of his throws.”

“Dad.”

“And how fortunate for Hiroshima to have gotten him out of all teams! I can tell that this season is going to turn around really fast. Just today he’s already scored-”

“Dad!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hayao chuckled. “I’m just very excited to see the both of you on the same field.” Kenji sighed, nodding his head. “Anyway, congratulations on the win, my boy. I’m so proud of you. I always am. Get home safe. It may be late, but we still have a lot of leftovers from dinner!” Emi made a noise that let him know she was waiting, too.

Going home sounded like heaven. Ken wanted nothing more but to rest. Maybe kick back and have a chocolate shake while he and his family watched cartoons to fall asleep. It was the perfect way to end his night. It had been an unexpectedly long day and he looked forward to tomorrow’s well-earned break. Eight extra innings might even win him a second day of rest. Or a third, if Shimura agreed not to schedule him for the next game. Which, he doubted, if it meant you’d be playing.

“I’m on my way.” He ended the call, and opted to take the fastest way out, desperate to avoid the press.

Ken collapsed onto the floor, snuggling into Emi’s arm. Having washed up and eaten his dinner, he felt the last remains of his adrenaline-fueled strength die out like a dwindling flame. He felt as if his limbs were about to fall off. “Ugh,” he groaned. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Emi didn’t much care. She seemed to be preoccupied by the new ( gigantic ) stacking blocks that Mina made for her. Ken sighed, sinking deeper into her arm. “She always smells so good after her baths.” The baby Kaiju’s warm and heavy grasp felt like a weighted blanket. It was a comfort that Ken would find nowhere else.

Professor Sato walked past them, chuckling into his coffee mug. “That, she does. You should have seen her earlier, you know. I’ve never seen her so invested in a game.”

Kenji hummed. “Is that right?” He rolled onto his stomach, facing Emi. “Hey. Baby.” He poked her cheek. “Is that true? Did you cheer for Daddy? I bet you did.” Giving into his cuteness aggression he rubbed at her cheeks. Emi expressed her annoyance through a small squeak. “God, that mean old Bullet had Daddy running laps, didn’t he? We hate him, don’t we?” Kenji pushed her cheeks up and down, leading her into a nod. “Yes we dooo.”

Professor Sato laughed. “Whatever happened to sportsmanship?”

“Whatever happened to loyalty?” He pouted. “My own father, rooting against me. I would never root against you, Emi.” Wanting to return to her blocks, Emi lifted Kenji up by his torso and placed him on her head. The batter laughed, laying on her with no protest.

“What!” The professor exclaimed. “I never said I was rooting against you. I was just— feeling enthusiastic, that’s all. For both teams.”

Mina entered the room, her mechanisms humming faintly. “Good evening, everyone.” The Sato’s greeted her accordingly. “I have a message for Ken.”

The mentioned Ken slumped into his daughter, rolling his eyes. “Here we go. I bet it’s the press.” He scoffed. “Let me guess, at least 30 emails asking for my statement. Or, better yet, it’s Shimura warning me not to miss the next game.” He raised his fist, mocking a reporter’s tone: “We’ve witnessed baseball history tonight, folks! Blah, blah, blah.”

“Actually, it’s an invitation for something else.” Mina hovered closer. “An event.”

This caught his attention. Kenji tilted his head. “For what?”

“A party, hosted by various sponsors.”

“Bit too early for an afterparty, don’t you think?” Ken sighed, resting his head on folded arms. “We’ve only won one game.”

“I suppose it’s to celebrate Mr. L/n as well.” Mina would shrug if she had the shoulders to do so. “His coming to Japan is quite a big deal.”

“Great.” Kenji was half-asleep by then, eyes already closed. “All the more reason for me not to go.” The professor had settled himself onto one of the desks, getting into some light reading. Emi had grown tired herself, and decided that she was not interested in the blocks anymore. Waddling to her spot, (with Kenji still on her head), she yawned, and opted for some much-needed sleep.

Mina’s light blinked. “I think you should go, Ken.”

The rightfielder cracked one eye open. “And why would I do that?”

“I think it would benefit you to interact with Mr. L/n more.”

“Mina, that’s literally the last thing I want.”

“Is it?”

Ken frowned. “What do you mean, ‘is it’? Of course it is.”

“Your vitals seemed to say otherwise earlier.”

Kenji scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was keeping careful watch of your vitals, as I always do. I have your daily status tracked and recorded.”

Kenji couldn't get rid of Mina’s voice in his head. Even amidst the warm crowd, with chatter swaying smoothly atop of light r&b music, he felt as if he could still hear her words ringing in the back of his mind. It remained vivid, though she had told it to him days ago. It was as clear as day. Like a broken record.

“Believe it or not, the heart beats differently for every emotion. There is a difference between fear, anxiety, excitement, and—”

Kenji stared at you from across the room, watching as you conversed with your team, nursing a glass of cold, hard whiskey. He watched as you bowed your head and smiled, listening for the faint, muffled sound of your laughter. He wondered what you were talking about; what joke might have made you grin that hard. He wondered why you seemed to illuminate a room, and why everyone seemed so drawn. His eyes were caught in the way the colorful lights sank into your hair.

“—Infatuation.”

You looked up, and your eyes met his. Kenji flinched. He felt his heart skip a beat. Shit, he thought. Mina was definitely going to catch that. She had probably already marked it down to tease him for it later. You held his gaze for longer than he could have standed and greeted him with that same annoying wink. The same one you gave him on the field. Confident, snarky, playful. You lifted your glass and took a sip, eyes still trained on his.

“What you may perceive as frustration for him might just be the opposite.”

Kenji's jaw clenched. Mina had no idea what she was talking about.

And he would prove her wrong tonight.

Like a soldier marching into battle, he waded through the party to make his way towards you. Was he intimidated? Yes. Unfortunately, he was. But he knew his way around a crowd, and his weapon-of-a-tongue knew all the right talk to make a conversation work. He was sociable like that. He was a poet, a wordsmith. If you weren't careful, one little exchange could have you wrapped around his finger. Some people called it his charisma, some blamed it on his irresistible good looks. Either way, Ken took it. He wasn't going to deny the fact that people loved talking to him — though he, admittedly, didn't really like talking to them in return. But he could do it. He could make it work.

Besides, how bad could you be?

With a newfound confidence, Ken dared to get closer. The distance between you and him lessened, and– oh, fuck, was that your cologne? He blinked. You smelled so good. Why did you smell so good? “Hey. Hi.” Shit. Abort mission. No, it's too late. Too awkward to back out. You were already looking at him. “L/n, yeah?” He spoke your name like he only just remembered you upon seeing you. When in truth, he hadn't stopped thinking about you since that damn first pitch. “Some game, huh?” Ken held his hand out for you to shake. ‘Fuck, I hope he doesn't notice how clammy it is.’

“Ken Sato.” It was the first time he heard your voice, as well as the first time he heard you say his name. He didn't like how his body reacted. There was a small shiver down his spine, a tingling flutter in his chest. You took his hand. Yours was cold. So cold. Kenji concluded that the icy glass of whiskey you had placed on the counter was to blame. He could feel your callouses against his. Your hands mirrored one another, marked with the battlescars of your sport. He was oddly sensitive to every detail. Touching you was.. a sensation.

You gave him a firm shake before promptly letting go.

“That's me,” he said, miraculously. Ken was oscillating between panic and confidence at a speed that likely wasn't normal. He was holding his own, though. Like the real champ he was. It was surreal to be standing in front of you without a ball to keep you apart. No bat, no competition. Just you, and a few shots of alcohol. “You adjusting into Japan alright?”

“As well as I can.” You shrugged. You had a tone to you; an elegant air of grace and self-assurance. You had no need to raise your voice because you knew he'd do his best to listen. It was pissing him off. “It's definitely different from the States.”

“I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised to see you here.” Ken usually knew what to say when it came to conversations. He never blanked out at interviews, nor left dead air hanging at conferences. But speaking with you made him feel like his vocabulary was on a limit. “After a game like that?” He whistled. “A lesser man would've taken a week off.”

“But we're not lesser men, are we, Ken?” A waitress passed by. Without the need to look, you had grabbed two shots of vodka from her tray. You handed the other one to him. “That's why you're here, too.”

He stared at you, brows furrowed slightly. “Exactly.” He took the shot from your hand and bumped the rim against yours. “Cheers.”

You grinned. “Cheers.”

Kenji tilted his head back, downing his drink, tasting the fire run down his throat. His face screwed up a little, but not enough for you to notice. You did the same, sighing the heat out of your nose. You allowed a small laugh to slip past your lips. “Japan’s liquor is surprisingly stronger.”

Kenji chuckled. “Yeah. If you know where to look.” The music felt like it was growing louder. He leaned in to speak to you better. “You know, I can't believe this is the first time we're meeting.”

You nodded. “Neither can I.”

“The Mets and Dodgers have always been at each other's throats, and yet—”

“Our schedules just never lined up.” You scoffed. “What are the odds of that, huh?”

It really was such a coincidence. If Ken had known that your interactions would've fired the press up as much as it did now, he would've fought to face you sooner. “When was it?” He snapped his fingers, trying to remember. “Playoffs. 2019, I think. The Mets were set to face the Dodgers.”

“2019,” you repeated, brows raised. “I was there.” Kenji took notice of the way your head slightly shifted to the side. Like you were trying to get a better look at him. He swallowed thickly. “I was there.” You shrugged. “You weren't.”

“I was overseas.” He was wanting another drink. But, speaking to you was surprisingly not horrible. “Didn't get back until 3 months in. And when I did—”

“I wasn't there,” you chuckled. “Alright. I remember. 2019, I was gone for half the season. Injury.”

“The world was in shambles.” Ken grinned at you. A second waiter passed by. He grabbed you another glass of whiskey. He took scotch for himself. “See what I mean? It's like– divine intervention.”

“Big word.” To say that fate had a hand to play in yours and his meeting was beyond your beliefs. You didn't place your trust in things like that. But to know that he had thought about it was charming.

“Hey.” Ken shrugged. “Ya’ never know.”

The music shifted, and so did the lights. There was a moment of quiet between the both of you, and in that time, you found a common interest in people-watching. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, nor the absence of something to talk about. The two of you merely agreed upon the minutes it took to watch the party unfold. A good number of the guests were already drunk. The dance floor was alight and occupied mostly by women. Ken rested his weight on one foot, sighing at his still-aching muscles. He wondered if you were any sore too.

“They love it, don't they?” You leaned your back against the counter, arms crossed over your chest. Ken took quick notice of the necklace worn loosely around your neck. A silver dogtag, similar to his. “The drama. The intensity. Even the things that go on beyond the field.”

Ken shrugged. “It's baseball. Who doesn't?”

“Exactly.” You smiled. “Which is why it's important to always let the home team win the first game.”

It took a moment for Kenji to process what you said. He was distracted by the colorful lights, his favorite song coming on, and a tray full of hors d'oeuvres. “Mhm.” He reached over to take one, before— “Wait.” His brows knitted together. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Hm?” You had your lips pressed together into a thin line. Your expression feigned innocence, a stark contrast to your bold statement. “I said it's important to let the home team win the first game.”

Kenji made a sound between a scoff and a laugh. He couldn't believe his ears. Had he been standing by the speakers for too long? “No, I heard what you said. What I'm asking is what you're saying.” It was a dare of a reply, with a tone that commanded: go on. Clarify.

Your smile refused to leave your face. Nearing the batter, ever so carefully, you whispered:

“I'm saying you won because I let you.”

Kenji blinked.

And there it was. He knew you were too good to be true. Goddammit, he knew it! Beneath your seemingly-perfect self was something cold and rotten and he called it. He fucking called it. How thrilled he was to be correct, and oh, how utterly terrified.

But this was good. This was absolutely good. He needed something to hold onto, something to keep himself afloat. The next time he found himself drowning in your eyes again, he'd only need to remember that you were a grade A asshole. That you had the audacity to claim that you were in full control of the game. Surely it would solve all his problems.

Kenji broke out into a laugh. It started out as a small cluster of sarcastic chuckles, but erupted into actual laughter. You were funny. So, so funny. Unbeknownst him, you were watching with amusement. “Because you let me!” Kenji repeated, smiling, but, exasperated. Two can play at that game. “Right. Of course. Totally not because you're an average pitcher and I can bat anything you throw.”

“If that helps you sleep at night.” You shrugged. Your attention wasn't on him anymore. You were watching the crowd, disinterested.

Kenji felt his eye twitch. “That's big talk coming from someone who got struck out by a rookie.” He was referring to the eighth inning, when Tateoka managed to bat your pitch into a homerun.

“That's right, Sato.” You laughed, low and sultry. “Batted by a rookie. How could I have struck you out at the last inning but be batted by a rookie?” You tilted your head at him, brows knitted together. You spoke in a sickeningly soft tone. Like you were helping a toddler understand something simple. “Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?”

Kenji was growing flustered. His face was warm and his fist was itching to meet your cheek. Nobody spoke to him this way. Sure guys had been mean to him before, but it was mostly because they were threatened by him. They'd tried to put him down and pick apart his flaws, but what you were doing was something different. You weren't claiming that he was weak, you were claiming that you were stronger. You didn't deny the amount of talent that Ken had in his body, but you were fully convinced that you had more. You were bigger, smarter, and better. And you had him under your control.

“Oh, c’mon. Seriously?” God, your voice. It infuriated him. It drove him insane. You leaned in, closer, whispering your words, as if hearing you through the party wasn't hard enough. He could smell the whiskey on your breath. It mingled with your cologne. It was intoxicating. “Are you blushing?”

He scoffed in disbelief. “No.” Except he totally was. He could feel the heat radiating off of his face. His breathing had gone shallow, his heartbeat rapid. “Why would I– Tch. You— You don't know what you're talking about.” Holy shit. He was a mess.

He wanted so desperately to blame it on the alcohol, but he knew damn well he wasn't drunk enough to be acting the way he was. He was stumbling over his words stone-cold sober.

You were smiling. He was dying, and you were smiling. “You amuse me, Sato.”

Ken took a cautious step back, knowing that being that close to you for too long was only going to make him worse. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?” He had to retaliate somehow. Like a soldier fumbling for his sword, he had to get up and do something. “You don't think I don't know what this is? Where you're heading?”

You tilted your head. “Do enlighten me.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Sure. Celebrity-Athlete from America waltzes into Japan thinking he's the shit— that he can rule the world. He's a shiny new toy and everyone's just dying to catch a look. Nevermind that his old team traded him off, nevermind that he goes home to an empty penthouse. He's got the stats to prove his skills and he thinks he doesn't need anything else.” Ken dared to retake a step forward. He sort of regretted it when you didn't take a step back. “Well, guess what,” he continued. “I've been where you are. I know how you feel, what you're thinking.

Everything you're trying to be is a shadow of what I already was.”

There was a beat of silence. You weren't smiling anymore. You were staring at him, stone-faced, seemingly indifferent.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. “So don't go talking to me like you're any better.”

He didn't know what to expect. You were quiet for such a long time that he thought you were going to snap. He partially expected a punch to the chin. But you were calm. There wasn't a trace of irritation on your face. Instead, you set your glass of whiskey — now empty — on the counter behind you. With a sigh, you shoved a hand in your pocket. “Are you done?”

Kenji blinked.

“Let me tell you something, Sato.” You raised a brow at him. Ken felt his heartbeat pick up again. Your once-approachable gaze shifted into something cold and commanding. He swallowed thickly. “There is a difference between you and me. And that difference is the fact that I don't settle.”

Kenji was glaring at you, brows fixed together.

A teammate called you from the other side of the room. You nodded at him, once, then returned your focus to the Yomiuri Prince. You placed a hand on his shoulder, tauntingly, smiling at him as if you'd known him your whole life. “I hope last season’s slump accustomed you to the feeling of losing those points.”

Kenji wanted to say something, but his lips refused to move. Somehow, the blaring music in the background had faded into a muffled blur. All he could hear was your voice. Like a moth to a flame.

You winked at him. Again. And like before, his body reacted in ways he didn't like. You squeezed his shoulder once, before leaving to go to your friend. With your back turned against him, Kenji released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He clutched his chest, watching wide-eyed as you moved through the crowd. He could still smell your cologne. The last thing he heard from you was,

“I'll see you on the field.”

taglist: @fairy-lenaa @moonjellyfishie @witchygod — Thank you for your patience!

[nerujikam]

Old Sweater

ushijima wakatoshi x fem!reader

tags 18+, fluff and smut, timeskip!ushijima, pwp, sleepy sex, clothed sex, cunnilingus, creampie, aftercare, pet nickname, i was ovulating

words 2,174

a/n and so, behold... my first smut... *thunder cracks* this was a pretty old draft dating back to may '22 lmao. figured i'm a lot more comfortable in my writing now, why not post it? this was crossposted on ao3 ! anws, happy reading or something!

art is @hk_smith_man’s on twt

Ushijima comes home late again. This time he finds it a little odd when the only source of light that came from the living room was the table lamp beside the couch, with a book you’re reading under it. You never forget to turn off every light when you go to sleep. Though, it does feel kind of lonely since you were practically a night owl on your working days. Now that you finally got your days off, you started to sleep earlier than usual. He misses the sight of you in the late of night, you can say.

He turns the lights off after putting his shoes on the rack. A faint beat can be heard from your shared bedroom, questioning him whether you’re awake or not.

Your body slump under the blanket. Though the heater’s on, the winter wind seems to have its own way seeping through the walls, shuddering you under the covers. Just like how you left it before, the small reading light next to you was still on.

He walks up to you, eyes closed as your breath steady. Seems you got defeated by your own drowsiness while trying to continue reading another book in your hands. He takes it away from your hand, placing the bookmark in the current page before putting it down next to the table lamp. He decides to turn it off later after his shower.

Ushijima closes the bathroom door from the inside, not wanting to wake you up with the loud noise from the hairdryer. He brushes his teeth, puts on his night cream, and turns off the bathroom light before joining you under the cover. He realized that the sweater from his high school volleyball team framed your body. He’s an even bigger and stronger guy now compared to then, yet his sweater still fits loosely on your frame. He wonders if it would make any difference if he met you in high school.

The thought of that tightened his arms around your waist, causing you squirming under him. He realized he woke you up when he heard a faint, “Toshi,” and a cold palm on his cheek. He grabs your cold hand to warm them, placing longing kisses on its knuckles, “sorry, did I wake you up?” You shake your head, turning back to your former position.

“I don’t mind,” you reassure. Ushijima pressed his forehead on your nape and kissed in between it and your spine, carrying out a soft “I missed you,” from your lips.

Ushijima never was a person who relies on verbal affection, so he alternates them more with acts of service, especially in giving. Warm baths after working overtime, a new shelf for your little trinkets, your favorite scented candles, sometimes even phoning his own dad, asking how to season the porridge properly when you had a cold. In rare cases, he'd mutter an “I missed you, too” back, instead of pressing his body closer into you like right now. He squeezes tight, not letting the cold get in between the two of you. He slides his hand down to your thigh to knead them gently before putting it in between them.

His eyelids flutter back awake as he feels a damp spot on your underwear. He gazes down at your eyelashes as you let out a sigh when he puts his hand down there. “You missed me this much?” he teases with a slight naught on his tone. You let out another sigh as he stroked your inner thighs, letting his wrist rub against your wet spot.

The blanket ruffles as his hand makes its ways to your—his—sweater, lifting it up to feel the warmth of your belly. His lips now behind your ear, fluttering kisses and sucking on the skin around it. Your hand found his when he started to slide down, playing with the waistband, eventually slithered inside, stroking between your folds.

So wet, he groans, wondering how you kept this long enough without doing anything about it.

“Want me to do something with this?” he whispered, asking one more time, fingers circling between you. Whining at his motion, you sigh, "please... Toshi,” you let out a breathy voice to call his name.

With your plea, he flips you up, rolls himself on top of you to lower himself, marking down your jaws, trailing up kisses to your lips. You nip gradually on his bottom lip before receiving his tongue. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss. Your hands stroking alongside his neat undercut. You opened your eyes slowly when he pulled back to see his own eyelids hung low, looking either very tired or very much turned on. The edge of his lips were soft from the toothpaste and the lip balm you share with him, smooth and glistening prior to your make out session.

“Keep this on,” he demands as he slides his whole body down. His hands trails up to your breasts, exposing them to the cold air whilst still keeping his sweater intact on you. He positions his shoulders under your thighs. You were surprised that, The Ushijima Wakatoshi, is willing to deal with something that was your own consequences, with his own mouth and tongue. You held it hours ago, wanting his way first rather than relying on your toys. You’re sure that he’ll come home eventually for this before eventually giving in to your heavy eyelids.

He places one, two, three kisses on the inner thigh slowly leading them up to the center of your wet panties. He pushes down your thighs towards him, licking the damp spot as if making out on it. You let out a high pitched whine from your lips. He ever so slowly pulls down your underwear you’ve been so desperate to be out of. His hot breath blows cold air between them with an eventful languid stroke. Your brain clouded, eyes rolled shut at the sight in the dark. You see nothing but flashes of sparks from the noises he made lapping his tongue over you.

Just as you feel his wet muscle fiddling around the sensitive bud, he (with the audacity) decided to suck on it, alternating between licking wet stripes along the core. You finally let out a moan, grabbing the sheets and his hair messy, pushing him further into you, grinding your own crotch towards him. One finger found his way, rubbing your entrance as the tip of his tongue fiddling your clit.

You throw your head back with your face behind your hand as his middle finger finally reaches in, unsteadily sliding in and out up till the spot where you buck your hips to its contact. Feeling your reaction, he slides in another finger, pressing and focusing them more on the gummy spot within, curling them ever so often. His jaw hardened, constantly fiddling his tongue around your clit, putting pressure on it while the tips of his dominant fingers hitting the same spot, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Your walls start to squeeze as your breath gets shaky. His fingers never stop thrusting in and out with a pace you never felt even when you do it yourself. Your back arches before being held down by his non-dominant hand, pressing down on your pelvis as your leg becomes a moving mess before you feel the snap under your belly. You shake as your thighs close around his head, feet pushing on his shoulders unaware. Your vision slurs.

Lips soaked in your own slick, Ushijima licked you down clean as if collecting it after your intense height, giving them one more wet smooch before hovering his body above you. He sucks down his middle and ring finger, cleaning up your mess on him. You raise your hands and grab his cheeks to give yourself a taste, tongue constantly encountering his in between kisses. You push him up, rolling up on your knees, positioning yourself on his lap, not separating your lips.

You eventually pull away with a kiss on his cheek, your hands on his jaw as you find yourself out of breath. You give yourself a view of him with your thumb on his chin. He licked the bottom of his lip before biting them, eyes hazed staring up to yours. His whole face became more and more of a mess, hair disheveled from your constant pulling, lips swollen and soaked down until his chin. You always love seeing him all wet from his own work on you.

It was impossible for you to not get turned on by him all messy and drunk from your cunt. You tug on his waistband, pulling down his PJs alongside his boxers. It’s obvious how hard he is with the ill bulge he had the whole time. His cock springs up as you pull his boxers down, tip flushed and slick, desperate to be inside you. You stroke along the shaft, spreading his own precum as you readied yourself on him. But he insisted. He rolls you back down on your back, holding the back of your thighs, teasing his tip around on your core.

You didn’t have a chance to look where the both of you met before gasping at the sudden intrusion. You were still sensitive and the slick of your pussy prior to his work makes the both of you moan as he slides in. His hips rolled and bucked on you, thrusting deliciously, tip reaching up to the familiar gummy spot.

“You look so good fucked in my sweater like that, dove,” he moans in your ear in the pleasure of your hips meeting his, pelvis to pelvis. The way he whispered that little pet nickname and moaned right into your ears clutches your core. You put your arms around his shoulders, legs wrapping around him, holding on for life as he pounds harder (you swore the bed could crack any minute).

“I’m…” you gasp in between thrusts before you continue, “I’m on birth— ah!” 

You couldn’t continue as he pushed one deep thrust, already knowing what you meant. He groans feeling your tightened walls sucking him in as he starts to roll his hips in a way it touches the parts you never knew you’d reach. He pushes your knees to your chest, thrusting in deeper. You feel his skin constantly slapping on your clit, building you up to another climax.

With a groan and his head buried into your shoulder, he came in a rut. Pace went sloppy and eventually filled his warmth inside you. His moans cracked a higher pitch before he finally emptied out on his last thrust. Both of you laid there catching your breath.

He pulls himself out of you, leaving a whine from your lips from the sudden emptiness. You sigh, feeling his cum slowly spilling out of you. Ushijima muttered a low, "fuck," as he looks down and squeezed your thighs, eyeing the sight of you leaking from his cum.

Making sure you’re fine, he hovers above you, a hand on your jaw as he kisses the edge of your lips. Raising his head to look at you as you open your eyes. Greeted by the sight of his softened features, you smile with a sigh and caress his cheek.

He’s worried, you thought. Ushijima brushes out the strands of hair from your face and places a soft, longing kiss on your temple before walking up towards the bathroom.

You hear the tap running for a while before he comes out with a warm damp towel. He gently grabs your thigh to wipe down the remaining of his cum that has spilled out of you. You sigh from the warmth of the towel.

“You need to go to the toilet,” he states suddenly. You furrow your eyebrows trying to process his instruction before realizing what he meant. You nod, “right,” you prop yourself up to sit.

“Can you walk?” he asks. You thought a bit before nodding as he grabbed onto you in case you wobble and fall. You chuckle in contrast to his worry because you did walk fine. Just a little sore. You walked to the bathroom to pee and clean yourself while Ushijima in the kitchen for some water.

You come back with him already finished putting back his boxer. You realize you don’t wanna sleep in soiled panties so you grab a fresh pair and throw the used one out into the hamper. You jump back on the bed with him. You take the glass of water he gave you before laying back down. He spoons you like how he did before. You shuffle as you turn your body towards him, brushing away his messy hair out of his face.

“Should I wear this more so I can get fucked like that more often?” you ask, referring to how his high school sweater on you turns him on. He let out a tired laugh, “just don’t wear that in front of anyone but me.”

---

ushy gushy always be on my top #1 daddy big balls alongside erwin smith

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Shoulder Check Showcase Edition

photo credits via instagram by _msfilms, henchcliffe_media, and greghorowitzphoto! all accounts are public dw! look at the tagged photos of the shoulder check on insta for more pics and the videos i took screenshots of!

22-23 Season & Summer Masterlist

p.s. kreider is in this bc it makes sense… sue me. tw to non rangers fans on him ig??

this is a long one to make up for all my short ones recently <3 (lie i just couldn’t shut up)

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, shattdeuces, and 11,469 others

yourusername “the shoulder signifies something very important. it’s a commitment to reaching out, checking in, making sure everybody is okay. it’s a small gesture with a very big impact— the impact being that kindness is cool.”

on august 3rd, trevor participated in the shoulder check showcase for the HT40 foundation post being drafted first overall for said showcase!

he was captain of team moulson (the black jerseys!), scored the eighth goal for the team with a pass from my good friend nesty! the fifth slide is his celly where the damn fool kissed his stick. (this was post him failing at the michigan about nine million times) (it’s your signature move, babe. get it together.)

🚨he also committed the only crime of the night!🚨(the refs didn’t penalize him and i’m guessing that was just to keep the fast pace going) (the crowd had other opinions) (so did i) what was the crime? HE TRIPPED CHRIS KREIDER! aka his summer training partner! don’t worry though! he was belittled at dinner with chris and i AND i made him sit in the bathroom for two minutes to account for his crimes<3

sorry you lost in a shootout, my love! but you missed two shootout goals so this is all your fault, captain!

thank you, father zegras, for being a founding board members for the HT40 foundation and being a huge part in this cause. as someone who has struggled in the past, the work that this foundation does really means a lot to me.

p.s. i loved seeing shatty/mom, nesty, sonny, and spencer! i’ve missed you guys! mwah!

remember besties: reach out, check in, and make contact. because kindness is a contact sport🩵

tagged trevorzegras and theshouldercheck

view all 433 comments

trevorzegras i’m so proud of you for all that you’ve overcome❤️ i love you, forever

yourusername i love you, always, z-baby❤️ (except when you make me cry like rn ihy)

trevorzegras i’m not taking it back! p.s. tackling me for a hug is not what was meant!

yourusername kindness is a contact sport and i chose football <3

trevorzegras can’t you choose any other sport?

yourusername i could choose water polo and drown you out of love

trevorzegras football it is!

yourusername kisses can be my field goals!

trevorzegras what about your two point conversions?

yourusername foreplay!

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername @/trevorzegras don’t play football in front of me

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/trevorzegras i don’t think you two gave water polo enough thought

user42 he really tripped that old man… so trevor zegras of him

_quinnhughes you forgot to mention that when he called me to have you let him out you turned his penalty into a five minute major

yourusername two minutes for snitching->📦

_quinnhughes you’re in stamford?

yourusername update: i facetimed quinn and screamed until he sat in the bathroom

trevorzegras update: i’m giving her a penalty for screaming

yourusername update: trevor has a penalty for attempting to give me a penalty

trevorzegras update: kisses got me out early

_quinnhughes update: i hate you both

yourusername update: quinn has a double minor

yourusername update: jacky boy has two minutes just because

jackhughes update: i’m looking for a new soulmate

user6 the fact that if the refs were calling penalties z wouldn’t been starting the season with -1 games since his last penalty 😭

jackhughes strongest girl i know alert!

yourusername pls don’t make me emotional online i have a reputation to uphold mr. “heart not boobs”

lhughes_06 @/yourusername accept that you’re basically wonder woman

yourusername @/lhughes_06 accept that miley cyrus’s song wonder woman makes that comment 1000x more emo for me

jackhughes @/yourusername accept that you’re loved (despite the speech comment)

lhughes_06 @/yourusername very loved

_quinnhughes @/yourusername extremely loved

yourusername @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes i love you all too! now stop before i sob!

user17 tell trevor thank you for signing my brother’s forehead! he was so happy!

chriskreider19 thanks for having z pay for his crimes against me!

yourusername ur so welcome thank you for feeding us occasionally!

trevorzegras please don’t thank her this has now become a common thing

yourusername @/trevorzegras mwah!

shattdeuces i’ve missed you, daughter! i’ll miss your post roadies gift bags next season!

yourusername you’ll get one when you play the ducks next season! i’ll start fires to give it to you if i have to!

shattdeuces just don’t get caught!

yourusername i never do! i’m a stealthy ninja

trevorzegras @/yourusername i’ve been catching you from falling since we were sixteen i’m not sure that qualifies as “stealthy”

yourusername @/trevorzegras that’s all part of my elaborate plan to never be caught when it’s important. no one will see it coming. my clumsiness is an act.

jackhughes @/yourusername an act that started at five years old?

yourusername @/jackhughes yes!

user4 announcers before the game started: we might see trevor do the michigan in person tonight! trevor: *attempts and fails 3 times*

_alexturcotte yeah babe! it’s your signature move! get it together! @/trevorzegras

trevorzegras don’t tell me what to do

yourusername @/trevorzegras get it together!

trevorzegras @/yourusername …yes dear

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras I’VE KNOWN YOU LONGER DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!

yourusername @_alexturcotte jealousy isn’t a good color on you

trevorzegras @_alexturcotte ily babe

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras ilym babe

yourusername @/trevorzegras ten minute major for infidelity!

trevorzegras @/yourusername worth it

user66 I CAN HEAR THE FIRST PICTURE 😭

jamie.drysdale i fully expect to be tackled next time i see you ms. “i choose football”

yourusername trevor will want to ask us to get a room because I MISS YOU SO BAD JAMIE BABY

trevorzegras @/yourusername what do you plan to do?!?!

jamie.drysdale I MISS YOU TOO

yourusername I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE BUTT

jamie.drysdale I LOVE YOU TOO YOU WEIRDO

trevorzegras @/yourusername WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO?!?!?!

yourusername @/trevorzegras commit infidelity

trevorzegras @/yourusername ten minute misconduct

yourusername @/trevorzegras worth it

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras technically she was my wife first

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale ejected from the game

yourusername @/trevorzegras hold up you can commit infidelity and i can’t?!

trevorzegras @/yourusername correct

yourusername @/trevorzegras misogyny at its finest. you’re kicked out of our mojo dojo casa house.

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras ejected? nah. evicted.

trevorzegras update: i’m now homeless

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras you’re not living with me this time

user97 this game just made me miss hockey more

slknight35 you wouldn’t ever give me a penalty right?

yourusername never. you and coley can do no wrong ever. and if you do, i’ll cover it up or take the fall. i’ll kill for you. i’ll sell trevor. i love you.

slknight35 i forgot that you’re so violently endearing😂 i love you too

jackhughes @/slknight35 she’s gotten worse since high school

colecaufield @/yourusername i love you best friend number two!

slknight35 @/jackhughes that’s terrifying

yourusername @/slkight35 yes i am <3

yourusername @/colecaufield I AIN’T GONNA EVER STOP LOVING YOU B(est) (fr)I(end) (number) T(wo) CH

colecaufield @/yourusername you ain’t slick

jackhughes @/yourusername but you are cringe

yourusername @/jackhughes bitch <3

yourusername in hopes that this comes up as a top comment for someone: you are all so loved. every single one of you. thank you for all the support that you give me, the boys, and to all the other teams, players, and their families that you share your love to. check in on your friends. even the ones that always seem to be the happiest person around. spread love, spread hope, and spread kindness🩵 mwah!

[osaka-lilac]

Asking you to kindly elaborate on the strollonso football au:

hello raapija my beloved, i would love to elaborate <3

for those out of the loop, refer to my tags on this post!

warning: i am an american with a incredibly basic understanding of footy ("soccer"). there is a reason the actual talk of any gameplay is basic and limited

fernando is this new guy to Lawrence Stroll's footy team right. (because in every universe, lawrence has to own a Team.) i can imagine he's some draft pick from spain for a new striker or something like that. possibly some trade, maybe a mid-season exchange (they do that in american football but idk if they do that in footy) those who know specifics of positions in footy please let me know your thoughts on what position fernando would play

lance: couldn't give two shits about footy. he's seen maybe once in a blue moon on the sidelines tagging along, and he's known for being visibly bored or on his phone during matches. (he has the Pout Blast 3000 for this.)

the reputation he receives from fans is much like the perceived impressions he gets irl: some spoiled kid who shouldn't be there. he's more into hockey than any match his dad's team could ever play.

now when fernando shows up its like a fucking slap to the face. like. "holy fuck i didn't think they could be this hot" type beat.

for the first time, lance shows up to a team practice with his father, not just a match. but he's really not there for the team: he is enamored by fernando. his speed. he's a sly yet devilishly handsome fucker with this wicked grin when he knows he's tricked his opponent yet again, and lance is obsessed.

not only does he start going to way more matches. he also starts showing visible interest and gets invested. and he gets loud. the mumbles online about his "spoiled reputation" turn to joy. he becomes a meme of the team for a few weeks after a clip of him getting frustrated after a poorly-called card is given to fernando ends up going viral.

and maybe this entire time, fernando has been watching this young boy from afar. he totally believes he can't be with his literal manager's young son and jeopardize his spot on the team and a shot at glory. and maybe he believes that lance initially isn't interested. but maybe when he sees lance become more invested in the team, he figures he might have a chance. he just can't figure out why lance has become so invested in what was, quite frankly, a very short amount of time.

so maybe fernando's on the side for a while in a practice. lance is there, but he seems distant. not in the game. not really watching the drills by the other players with much enthusiasm. and fernando's a smart man. and he puts some pieces together in his brain. and makes a move.

he comes up to lance and asks to talk with him once practice is done. when all the other players are gone. in the locker room. of course lance agrees

flash forward a bit. n lance is like. hanging out by the exit outside of the locker room. he counts all the players. and when there's only one left. he goes inside. finds fernando sitting on one of the benches, still in his kit.

they get to talking. what lance does outside of being at games, (i can imagine him being a student but i don't have the will to kin assign him a major right now), what his favorite hockey team is (habs. of course) and of course, the loaded question:

"lancito, what's gotten you so interested in the team now?"

of course, lance doesn't really respond to this, kinda dances around the question. he gets flustered. he doesn't want to be found out. what if he sees right through him, what if he already knows, what if he tells his dad??

fernando leans in slightly, and slides his hand over lance's hip. he cups his chin softly, and slowly turns lance's head to look at fernando straight on.

"be honest, niñito."

and when has lance ever been anything but honest.

[sundrop-writes]

Announcing my new fic: Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate is a long oneshot starring Daryl Dixon and a gender neutral reader character, featuring angst, hurt and comfort, and some fluff.

NOW POSTED!!!!!

In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the prison is attacked by the Governor, and though you both believe the other person is dead, you two end up finding each other at the most unexpected time. This fic is about hope, the human connection, and how love is about more than romance - it's about how people take pieces of each other and grow with them, never truly able to forget each other.

This fic is going to be a longer oneshot that is currently about 15k long - and will likely be longer by the time it has gone through editing. It is 80% of the way done in my drafts (not including editing), and I hope to have it posted by April 30th - which is a tentative date that may change. If you want to know for certain when the fic is posted, you can follow me here and turn on notifcations or you can subscribe to me on AO3 to get an email notification when the fic is posted. I am really excited to share this fic with all of you 💖.

Below is a short preview of the fic - so if you wanna get a better sense for the upcoming fic you can read it. If you enjoy this preview and you're excited for what the fic holds, please let me know!

Also an important note: with my gender neutral reader fics, I don't use any references to gender whatsoever (this is not a 'GN afab' fic). And in this fic in particular, I didn't use any pronouns (other than you/yours) or gendered terms for the reader - and at points where the terms they/them were used, I made it purposefully vague so that the dialogue could be referring to the whole group as 'they' or just the reader. I want my gender neutral fics to be enjoyed by everyone - cis women, cis men, gender non conforming people, trans people - every kind of fanfiction reader.

I am making this post for two major reasons - one, I want to generate as much excitement for oneshots as there is for series. Especially for oneshots that are longer than 10k because those take a lot of time and effort. If a series is like a TV show, then long oneshots are like a feature film. And two - nobody seems to read my pinned post where I announce new upcoming fics anyway, so I might as well make posts like these so that people can know what to expect from me. And hopefully you guys will get excited about my upcoming fics this way. And when I tag these posts with the relevant tags, people interested in those topics can follow me to anticipate the fic if they want to read it.

Heaven's Gate (Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader) - Preview

Preview Word Count: 1,800

Warnings: no pronouns used for the reader other than you/yours; there are major plot spoilers for The Walking Dead if you are watching the show for the first time - spoilers for Season 2 all the way up through Season 5; typical warnings for TWD - mentions of death, emotional despair; all of these themes and emotions are expanded upon in the full fic.

...

“Daryl!” 

You called out his name as you jogged up toward the stables, and he stopped in his tracks, waiting for you to catch up with him. 

“Daryl, hey.” You greeted him with a small smile. “Rick told me you’d be up here.” 

He grunted in reply. “Yeah. ‘m gonna take a horse out. Make better ground t’ look for the girl.” 

Your stomach clenched at him mentioning her. 

The group was supposed to be headed out towards Fort Bennet - supposed to be finding refuge at the hopefully safe military base. Instead, you were all setting up camp at the very reluctant Hershel Greene’s farm, not straying too far from where you had lost one of your own in the hopes of finding her. 

But that was why you had come to talk to Daryl in the first place. 

Sophia had become like a sister to you in the few short months that you had known her, and though it was unlikely, you were hopeful that she was alive - that she would be found. And you did believe that Daryl would be the one to find her. 

“How’s the trail?” You asked. “Do you think you know which way she headed? You - you can be honest with me.” 

You hesitated on the last part. But you did want his honesty more than anything. And you knew that he was never one to sugar-coat things. Even if you hadn’t told him that, he would have given you the truth anyway. 

“Trail’s a little muddy.” He said, doling out that honesty. “‘m gon follow the river. It’s her biggest landmark out there, so she’ll probably be somewhere around it.” 

You smiled at him. And then, you remembered - 

“I brought you something.” You noted, reaching for the back pocket of your jeans. 

Daryl watched with quiet curiosity as you pulled out a piece of paper - when you showed it to him, he quickly realized that it was a half-used set of stickers. 

“These are some of the stickers that I got for Sophia,” You explained. “My mom always used to tell me that cardinals are good luck.” 

You peeled off a sticker of a bright red bird - as much of a nature man as he was, Daryl was never one for bird watching. He didn’t care about identifying certain species of birds unless he could shoot and eat them. But he quickly reasoned that this must be the cardinal that you spoke of. 

“Give me your bow.” You said, shoving the rest of the sticker sheet into your back pocket again and holding out your hand expectantly. 

“I don’t need no luck.” He replied, voice full of snark. 

“Just give it.” You replied - equally snarky, equally stubborn. 

Daryl sighed and tugged his bow’s strap over his head, presenting it to you. You placed the sticker on the bow’s handle, in one of the places where it wasn’t as worn down from him holding it. 

“There,” You said, giving it back to him with a smile. “Now you’re all set.” 

It was more for you than it was for him - a token of good faith and protection. The idea that you could do something to bring Sophia home when you felt so powerless. 

Daryl let out a harsh sound - somewhere between a laugh and a sarcastic snort as he walked away. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome,” You replied brightly, edging on sarcastic once again. 

… 

When the prison was attacked, Daryl got out with Beth. 

He almost couldn’t stand her bright eyes, big eyes staring at him, waiting for answers - her chirpy little voice, prodding at him, demanding that they ‘follow the trail’ and go look for everyone else. Telling him that he was a tracker, that he could find them. As if it was his damn responsibility just because he had the skills to get it done. 

It was all too reminiscent of you, telling him that he could find Sophia. That it wasn’t an ‘if’ - it was a ‘when’. 

Perhaps that was what got him off his ass and doing what he did best - reading the dirt. 

“What’re you doin’?” He asked, staring at the girl curiously as she went to one of the bushes and rushed to pick berries from branches. Had she not gotten enough to eat that morning? 

“They’ll be hungry when we find them.” Beth told him confidently. 

Of course. That undefeatable streak of optimism. 

Daryl knew that blueberries weren’t your favorite - but he should have something to give you. He would be too busy tracking the footprints to properly hunt for squirrels or rabbits and clean them for you. So, he found himself pulling a large bandana from his back pocket and offering it to Beth - something to hold the berries in to keep them safe as an offering for you. 

“Here.” He grunted at her. 

Beth smiled at him. 

It was one of the last smiles she gave him for a long time. 

When they came across those bodies splayed out beside the tracks - any sense of hope was crushed inside of him. The picture you had gifted him was heavy inside his breast pocket, and he hated that tears threatened his eyes - even if he knew that none of those bodies belonged to you. There was no trace of you there. 

The days started to blur into each other, and Daryl couldn’t get you off his mind. 

One hazy evening, as they both stared into the fire with dead looks on their faces, he took the drawing out of his pocket and unfolded it. 

For good luck. 

He didn’t believe in luck - because it didn’t exist. The world was fucked. Nobody was lucky. You and your good luck were dead. 

He tossed the drawing into the fire, and it was only a moment, when the corner of it had barely caught, when Beth snatched it out. She stomped on it with her boot, successfully saving it. 

“Don’t do that.” She hissed at him. 

Daryl snatched it from her, and crumbled it up, tossing it aside. He let out a grunt, but refused to look at her. 

“That was from Y/N, wasn’t it?” She posed. 

He could feel her imposing stare as she waited for an answer. 

He didn’t give her one. 

“You can’t burn them just because you think they’re dead.” Beth sighed. “You can’t burn up memories. We’re gonna find them. Y/N, and Maggie, and Michonne, and - and everyone.” 

Daryl scoffed. “Yeah. Cause that’s gon’ happen.” 

Beth rolled her eyes, but didn’t speak any further on the subject. 

After she had fallen asleep - when the fire was dull, Daryl picked up the crumbled ball and smoothed it out again. The charred corner hadn’t even touched your bird. He felt like a fool doing it, just as much of a fool as he accused you of being, but he folded it neatly - well, as neatly as he could - and then put it back into his breast pocket again. 

But that was the thing - Daryl wished that he could. He wished he could burn up those memories. 

That you would stop haunting him. Then he wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore.

… 

“Can I see it again?” Beth asked, suddenly changing the subject. 

Again, this was a confusing little whip for Daryl - something that clearly only made sense to Beth in her own drunken mind. 

“See what?” Daryl replied. 

“The picture.” Beth answered. “The one you tried to burn.” 

Daryl felt a pinch of guilt surge over him at the thought. Oddly enough, this was the one time he would be willing to admit that Beth was right - you can’t burn up memories. 

“It was Y/N, wasn’t it? That drew it.” Beth added on, her words slurring slightly - she lifted the mason jar of booze to her lips again and Daryl was tempted to snatch it away from her. 

Instead, he found his hand drifting to his breast pocket and reaching to take the picture out. He presented it to Beth, who put down her drink to unfold it - she stared at the picture fondly under the brightness of the moonlight, tracing a finger over the slightly faded details. 

“You know… my daddy used to tell me that a cardinal is like an angel.” Beth said, recognizing the bird from her father’s teachings on the farm. “Someone - someone you loved who passed away, watching over you from heaven.” 

“Y/N said they was good luck.” Daryl replied. 

Beth shrugged. “Same thing.” 

It was this thought that kept Daryl going for a long time. The idea that even if you were dead, you were watching over him somehow. He sure as hell didn’t believe that someone like Merle would be an angel - but you, you definitely were. And even if it was a waste of your eternal life, you would be determined to watch over Daryl - to make sure that he was safe, well-guided. 

You would make sure that he was lucky. 

That thought alone carried him through the long journey to D.C. 

It was something that lingered in his mind as the group hunkered down in a random barn - as he spotted something carved into one of the wooden beams holding the place up. Even though it wasn’t colored, he could have sworn that the long tail and pointed head of the silhouette indicated that the carving was meant to be cardinal. Of course. 

Who knows who had stayed in the barn before them - if it had been left there by a weary traveler, or even put there by someone who had used the barn before the turn. But Daryl could have sworn that you - your ghost, your angelic hand - had led him to this very spot. 

It was a thought that gave him strength as he held the doors up - helped to keep them from caving in while the storm raged outside. 

Your luck, and your damn bird - you would keep him safe. 

When they reached Alexandria, and they were forced to give up their weapons - Daryl spotted your bird perched on the fence. Bright red, with its pointy head cocked sideways at him. All too knowing, staring at him like it wanted to say something. Just like it had been when he had fallen off the cliff out in the woods when he had been looking for Sophia. 

Oddly enough, it made him feel safe giving up his crossbow - perching it on top of the fully loaded cart of weapons before the awkward, bespeckled woman wheeled it away. 

Rick was still weary of this new place after Terminus, and Daryl understood. He followed Rick’s lead. Especially because he couldn’t tell Rick that he had a good feeling about this place because he saw a damn bird. 

But even if it was just in spirit, he felt you there. He knew that it was the home you had chosen for them.

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[relatablepicturesofdoofenshmirtz]

how do you feel about pnf coming back for two whole seasons?

Do NOT message me about this answer. You can reply to this post, but don’t come into my inbox or messenger about anything I’ve written.

I’ve been holding onto these for a while because I didn’t want to a respond with my knee-jerk reaction of extreme pessimism (I actually had a whole rant drafted up that I deleted). I still think this is a bad idea that could potentially undo all the development the characters have been through (like what happened with Doof in MML) and bungle continuity (I doubt there will be zero continuity errors in the new seasons given that they messed up several things in CATU). I also hope they keep to the same formula of being a parody of episodic shows. All good things must come to an end lest they become a shambling corpse of their past self that a company is beating for money (Spongebob Squarepants, The Fairly Oddparents, and The Simpsons come to mind as several cartoon series that have run--at least they put FOP out of its misery a few years ago--way beyond their prime and suffered for it).

Now that the negativity’s out of the way, here are the only ways I will be able to enjoy the new seasons of PnF:

1) If there’s a timeskip. We’ve seen the kids in elementary school and high school, but not middle school. I think it would be a great opportunity to pop in on their lives when they’re still fun (good LORD do I have issues with the A-plot of “Act Your Age”)! Even just the next summer would be fine.

2) If it’s one of the other universes, like the one where Lawrence is a polar bear/Phineas has a different number of shirt stripes (”Lost in Danville”) or the second dimension (ATSD).

3) If it’s a reboot/remake. Fresh slate, nothing to worry about.

4) If I just watch the show and never look through the show’s tags ever again. I KNOW not everyone’s watched the hundreds of episodes that the show consists of multiple times. It’s NOT reasonable for me to expect everyone to remember tiny details or patterns. Nevertheless, it IS majorly annoying to go into the tags and see people being “BUT WHAT IF” when something in the show contradicts that or even supports it/it doesn’t need to be posed as a hypothetical. Equally annoying is “BUT WHY DOES” when the answer can be found in the details/patterns. If this is going to be a continuation of the same summer, then the entirety of seasons 1-4 of PnF and what happened in them are still relevant. I am too tired to be fending off dozens of hundreds of thousands of people who love charging ahead and spreading misinformation. I also am not going to be interested in people revisiting old debates that were settled over 10 years ago. The new episodes are doubtlessly going to bring in new watchers, and who knows if those people will watch the original run.

5) If I treat them as not canon to Phineas and Ferb (2007-2015).

My final thoughts on the subject:

It is not possible for this show to be modern. They’re probably going to try and add in modern references like they did with CATU, and I’m going to hate it. 

If it’s a continuation, then the futures of “Act Your Age” and “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo” are the definitive endgames for Phineas and Ferb (respectively 10 and 20 years into the future) whether the new seasons fit within them or not.

...Also, bring back Stacy Hirano in a meaningful way 2k23.

[sphnyspinspin]

[About Blog]

- This is my Transformers fan blog! I usually just draw and write and that’s about it. Considering I have trouble getting new ideas in my noggin I decided to open REQUESTS and ASKS. But I’ll only be taking a few at time—you know the whole OPEN and CLOSED signs will be very prominent. This’ll go for both drawing and writing stuff.

There’s probably going to be more stuff to add on to this so make sure to see if I updated anything important on here like DNI or ASKS and REQUESTS.

— — —

[DNI]

- Homophobic -

- Transphobic -

- TERFs -

- Sexist -

- Racist -

- NSFW -

- Proshipper -

- Ableist -

— — —

[ASKS]

1) Can Accept

- Pretty much anything that doesn’t make me uncomfortable. And I can be slow when it comes to checking my inbox so if you like what I do here, you might have to be a little patient. I like it when people just come by to say hi or compliment my work, so don’t be afraid to do so. You don’t need to feel obligated to spare my feelings too, I can take criticism when I need it.

2) Won’t Accept

- AGAIN! NOTHING CREEPY! Don’t ask me about personal stuff please, I’ll update small bits on how I’m doing, don’t be pushy. And don’t send me random links without context or at least a small description, it gives off creepy vibes.

— — —

[Fandoms]

- Transformers: Rescue Bots : Good God, this show was like the very first layer of my TF hyper fixation—not my biggest fixation just my first.

- Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy : THIS SHOW is my biggest fixation it’s so cute and wholesome and clever and fun it is such a good show I love the characters so much.

- Transformers: Cyberverse : PLEASE—this show is AWESOME, I praise it for the characters, the story, the character designs, the animation, the EVERYTHING(this is where I personally think Soundrod first originated).

- Transformers: Robots In Disguise 2015 : Hear me out, this show is actually kinda funny in a non-ironic way I promise, and the designs aren’t half bad.

- Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye : I have read zero TF MTMTE and I never plan to because I would actually die from dehydration after crying so long; but the fandom makes me laugh and I like the art.

- Transformers: Lost Light : Again I have read zero Lost Light comics and I don’t plan on it; because I feel like I know enough just from the memes.

- Transformers: Animated : This show SHOULD be more popular, and it’s the main reason I have my artstyle today (and please don’t bully me but when I found out my fave characters dies I stopped watching….. like immediately………. I didn’t finish season one).

- Transformers: Earthspark : This show, oh my god, I have a love-dread relationship with it; it has so much care-free positivity, an adorable group of characters, nice designs with world-building being amazing so far, but I know for a fact it will destroy me sooner or later. P.S. it already has

- Transformers: Botbots : This. This…. Where do I begin; oh right, literally the TF fandom parody—like I know for a fact that 85% of the characters’ personalities are inspired by random TF tumblr posts, you can’t deny that.

— — —

[Side-Blogs]

1) @transformers-bold-bright-brisk

- My blog for my TF fan Continuity project. Right now it’s mostly drafts and concept art and writings,

— — —

[Communication]

1) Follower Interactions

- I will do my best to answer ASKS because I am terrible at checking my inbox. Also, I’m going to try and reply to comments, but if I stop doing that—it’s not because I don’t like you guys, it’s cause I’m lazy and I usually don’t have anything interesting to reply back with. And please read my DNI, ASKS, and REQUESTS boxes before interacting, thanks. Also ask stuff will be tagged as either #sphny asks (𖦹////𖦹)•*°⊹ or #sphny answers (𖦹0 𖦹)•*°⊹

2) Mutual Interactions

- Hey! If you followed me and I followed you back and somehow we were able to become regular chit chat buddies from either in the tags, reblog games, DMing, and etc. then you probably know me enough to understand my thought process when I talk to people. And if you’re a new mutual and actually want to interact with each other more than same goes for you—read my DNI, ASKS, and REQUESTS boxes. I respect your boundaries, you respect mine—win win. I would honestly be very excited to talk to me people on this platform, I just get a little bit shy/anxious sometimes

— — —

[Posting]

1) Art

- When I post my art I’ll usually tag it under #sphny arts (𖦹w𖦹)•*°⊹. And right now I’ve been posting A LOT of RBA fanart. But if I feel really motivated to draw requests I’ll do my best to draw TF characters from other continuities in my style too.

2) Writing

- What I write consists of drabbles, headcannons, one shots, short-reviews, and other opinions I have that I like to share with the world. And I’ll give an itty bitty irl update just to notify I’m still alive. And they’re going to be tagged under #sphny speaks (𖦹<𖦹)•*°⊹ #sphny alternates universe (𖦹ㅁ𖦹)•*°⊹ #sphny originates character (𖦹▿𖦹)•*°⊹

3) Reblogging

- Oh boy. I reblog a very random assortment of posts. I reblog from mutes, followers, and strangers all the time. I’ll partake in reblog games I tag under #reblog shenanigans which would always be a new uquiz or for picrew challenges it would be #picrew shenanigans. When I reblog art or literally anything I COMPLIMENT THEM IN TAGS! And in the actual text part if I’m super eccentric about it too. And they’ll be tagged under #sphny reblogs (𖦹Q𖦹)•*°⊹

— — —

[Social Media]

- TikTok : sphnyspinspin2006 (There’s literally only three posts to my name)

- Instagram : sphnyspinspin (Barely Active)

- DeviantArt : sphnyspun (I never use this)

- Discord : sphnyspinspin (I’m VERY shy)

- AO3 : sphnyspinspin (I write very little on here)

[the-fools-errand]

Three things to end the year

Thank you @thehoneybeet (Three things here) for tagging me into the three things thing :) It’s about to be NYE in the part of the world where I live, and with this well-timed tag, it only seems fitting to end the year with a bit of reflection. 

This year between June and September I moved to a new country, which ended up being an even bigger adventure than I had expected. While I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, I’ve found myself being pulled away from some of my creative pursuits and redistributing that energy to settling in to new habits in a new place and learning a new language. I’ve definitely missed being an active part of the Drarry fandom, but I have loved watching from the sidelines as new fics and fests have posted, and this community never fails to fill me with joy when I need it most. So thank you everyone for making this such a special corner of the internet! 

1. The Secret Keeper (2021, 225K) - My most popular fic by a longshot, SK is a special fic to me for many reasons. HD/BB was the first fest I ever participated in, modded by the incredible @gracerene and @writcraft, without whom this fic would never have seen the light of day. I was travelling for my job as I worked on this fic for the better part of a year, including on 15+hour flights across the globe, and even a particularly memorable setup using an ironing board as a desk in a small hotel room during the final weeks before the finish deadline 😂

I also had the extreme luck/joy/honour of being partnered with @razielim who illustrated the fic with three showstopping pieces that still take my breath away. When Razielim sent me the first drafts, I was standing in a cafe and literally exclaimed out loud. It’s hard to put into words what it means to partner with an artist and see a collective creative work come to life. When I stumbled in the home stretch of writing, I’d take a look back at these pieces and be re-inspired to carry on. 

Without hyperbole, the single most integral piece of SK was working with my incomparable Beta partner, @thehoneybeet. HB was part of the story from the time it was just a collection of sticky notes on a wall, through to middle-of-the-night speed writing/editing sessions, and everything in between. Stephen King once said that every author should write for their “first reader,” the person they can trust to believe in and bring out the best of their work, and for me, that is HB! Love ya, friend. 

Secret Keeper is a Hogwarts-era canon rewrite AU, in which Dumbledore hides Harry’s survival at the hands of Voldemort under a Fidelius Charm, leading the Wizarding World to believe that none of the Potters survived, and for Harry to grow up as a muggle. Draco is set to take up the mantle of a Death Eater once he comes of age, but when Harry shows up at Hogwarts under McGonagall’s direction, he’s brought under the charm to teach Harry Occlumency. The story is an exploration of the clash of destiny and agency, and what happens if we choose not to follow the path laid out for us. Plus there’s a sonnet. 

The last thing I’ll say about SK is that as my first real piece of writing that landed in this community, I had no idea what sort of response to expect from readers -- and was utterly blown away with the kindness and encouragement I received. I read every comment with a full heart, and when @sitp-recs wrote this rec, I thought I would just about explode. I often revisit this AU in my daydreaming, and HB knows, I have fully outlined a sequel if I can ever get around to it! Maybe for the next BB :) 

2. In the Bleak Midwinter (2022, 105K) - I’m cheating on the three things prompt and putting up my second most popular fic, because this one was a surprise even to me! I truly had no plans to write a longfic at the beginning of the year, but as I perused the LCDrarry prompt list, an incredible Peaky Blinders prompt by @seekercass caught my eye and I was hooked. My partner in crime, HB, even watched the full first season of PB for me, just to be able to advise on characterisation and plot points. Fest mod @celilasart was an epic support, and helped me with timing as I dashed to make the posting cutoff. 

In the end, what resulted was a dark AU, where Voldemort had won years ago, and the boys were living in a world where magic was banned, the wizarding world had broken open into the muggle world, and Hogsmeade was a town riddled with crime. Draco (as Tommy) is a complex and tortured head of the Black family gang, keeping everyone afloat while trying to carve out a better life. Harry (as Grace) is an agent of the Order, reporting in to Snape (as Campbell), and sent on a mission to Hogsmeade to solve a case of missing wands, a shipment meant for the front lines of Voldemort’s ever-expanding territory. 

Writing this fic was an unexpected delight, where unlike Secret Keeper, I really had very little idea of where I was going with everything when I started. Getting to weave in characters like Sirius, Tonks, Pansy, Neville, and Narcissa, was such a joy, and it was an exercise in opening up my creative process to different styles of writing. That said, this was probably the fic where I hit my biggest creative roadblock, when I couldn’t get Harry and Draco to stop being Grace and Tommy and start being themselves. HB was there for a major kill-your-darlings rewrite moment, which was totally necessary, and in the end I love where the fic ended up.

3. Silver Lining (2022, 14K) - For my hidden gem, I’m picking a fic that (gasp) isn’t even a Drarry! One of my goals at the start of 2022 was pushing my boundaries in terms of character and voice, and when I came across a prompt for a super small fest, which was simply “Neville re-sorted,” I knew I had to give it a try. Neville had been a surprisingly crucial character in both SK and ITBM, and unexpectedly so. So having the chance to explore him as a character in his own right was a really fulfilling exercise, and this fic ended up being an arc about friendship more than anything. 

SL is a cannon rewrite AU (because somehow I still only write AUs), where Neville is sorted into Slytherin and Draco takes up the responsibility of making sure his fellow housemate lives up to his full potential. Seven short sections, spanning seven years at Hogwarts. This one is short and sweet, and yes, I still managed to fit in Drarry somehow 😜

Honourable Mention: A Mutual Inconvenience (2022, 4K) - after a complete hiatus from writing for most of the year, I pulled together this short gift for my first reader and fandom bestie, HB. A bit of holiday melancholy which scratched a certain itch this season, and is a bit of a deviation from my usual stuff. 

Just want to take a moment to put some love out there again to all of you reading this. it’s been such a delight getting to know many of you and just being part of a fandom as special as this one. If you’re seeing this any you haven’t already been tagged to do your Three Things, please do! Happy New Year, and here’s to a magical 2023!

[redmoonfever]

Thank you @slice-of-magenta for tagging me!

RULES:

post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing (or art) over the past year

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

and your number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

---------

1. Top 5 works I’m most proud of:

Kiss It Better (Sciles): This was my first Teen Wolf fic and it was so fun to get to learn the characters better through writing, and who doesn’t love an adorable kid fic? I just found it so fun to try and capture their childlike innocence and how it begins to fade as they grow older.

The Bite (Sciles): This is the only full length fic I’ve written this year. I really like the werewolf Stiles human Scott AU so this is exactly that. It was fun to see how they’d interact differently with other characters when the roles were reversed. 

Friends Who Are Stars (Petekey): This is the last MCR fic I wrote before my Teen Wolf addiction began. I wrote this for an exam in school and I just really love the serenity that it holds. There’s kind of a peaceful hopelessness to it that I like.

As Proud as a Father (Scott + Peter): 1500 words of Peter manipulating Scott to join his pack. I feel like if Peter had taken a different approach with Scott he could’ve got what he wanted (not Scott killing but Scott being on his side). 

Bleeding Red (Sceo): This is a kinda more fucked up one. It borders on noncon because Theo is subtly manipulating Scott. I get so awkward writing smut so there is more focus on emotions than anything physical but I really like how it turned out.

-----------

2. Top 4 current WIPs:

• A fic about Rafael learning about the supernatural and being rightfully outraged about how people have treated his son. Also focuses on Scott’s death,

• I want to write some more of the werewolf Stiles/human Scott AU, so probably some ficlets about how they interact with each other and others after the finale.

• I’ve also started a fic where Scott is the new kid instead of Allison in season one (minus the werewolf shenanigans). Though I’m still wondering if I should make it Scott/Stiles or Scott/Jackson (feedback on that would be appreciated 0.0)

• A fic about Liam’s guilt after the supermoon and him trying to explain to Scott that he’s allowed to be angry when all Scott does is reassure him it’s okay. 

-----------

3. Top 3 biggest improvements:

• I feel like I’m getting better at writing characters true to themselves and how they speak/act.

• My fics are definitely getting a bit longer (though I can’t tell if that’s the novelty of a new fandom). Therefore focusing on themes such as hurt/comfort feel like more of a natural progression in the stories.

• I’m writing a lot more, getting better at coming up with ideas and laying them out before I lose them. (And I’ve stopped using so many commas @.@)

-----------

4. Top 2 resolutions:

• Branch out and write more about other characters. Once I fixate on a character (in this case Scott), I find it difficult to focus on other people so I’d like to try and write about other characters also. 

• I’d like to write another full length fic and actually finish it instead of leaving it in the drafts.

-----------

5. Number 1 favourite line:

This is definitely the hardest one to answer but I think I’m gonna go with

“He wanted them to know how relieved he had felt as his heart gave its last beat.”

Which is a line from Selfish Hate which is about Scott’s thought process when he goes to the hospital after his death. 

-----------

Okay I’m pretty sure everyone I know of on here has already done this but @sees-writes @thiamsxbitch @domesticated-feral

[sheirukitriesfandom]

Snippet Someday "A Change of Seasons: Foe" edition

@elavoria and @miraakulous-cloud-district wanted me to participate (Thank you!!!) and as luck would have it, they got me right as I'm editing the next chapter of my longest fic. It was interesting to see how much my writing has improved since I started writing this fic. I now cringe a bit reading the first few chapters, but I still like them overall ^^; Not tagging anyone because I believe all of you writerly mutuals have been tagged already ^^;. First chapter:

Seeking inspiration for a new story, Rashkan has decided to visit the Frozen Hearth, where he happens upon an unlikely source.

"What I know is that, three days ago, a Stormcloak patrol vanished  — Reinforcements from Windhelm. Apparently, they just disappeared into thin air. No signs of battle — Not a trace—, but then again, it did snow quite heavily that night." Rashkan frowned. An entire Stormcloak patrol just vanishing was already reason for concern, but the fact that it had happened at night when they had likely set up camp, been together, and somewhat fortified…  "I can imagine just how much this got the rumour mill running. Do tell, what is the word around town?" "You have no idea the kinds of stories people tell," Nelacar groaned and rubbed his temples as if to ward off an approaching headache. "Some say an imperial patrol took them prisoner; according to others, it was an avalanche that buried them; Haran says the dead have risen from the Sea of Ghosts to take the living with them."  Struck by the spark of inspiration, Rashkan flicked through his journal and scribbled the words: 'Ghost story — Undead from the sea' onto a free page.

Favourite chapter (Savos 5 & 5.5): My favourite chapters are the ones set in the mine--the segments that got this entire currently-18-chaptered fic started. I loved writing the atmosphere and although I'd now change a few things for pacing's sake, I still enjoy reading them. In this extract, Savos, Kvinna, and Verna (a Vigilant of Stendarr and a Winterhold guard introduced earlier in the story) have just entered an abandoned mine near Winterhold after finding--no, read for yourselves :D.

The mine was warmer than outside and reeked of rotting wood and bat droppings. Step by step, the light from the entrance grew weaker until eventually, the magelight stood on its own against the dark. In its cold glow, shadows slithered along the walls, forming shapes of unknown monsters. More than once, Savos caught himself glimpsing over his shoulder, but every time, he found only Verna. Neither of them dared say a word. They hardly dared breathe as well; too great was the fear of alerting whatever lurked within the depths. As they continued deeper into the bowels of the earth, it became clear that the mine must have been abandoned for decades, if not a whole century. Like the town of Winterhold, it had fallen into disarray and become a grave for old lorries, pickaxes and other equipment; bones of busier days, they lay scattered across the ground or leaned against the walls where time and rust feasted on their marrow. In that forlorn underworld, time became meaningless, an abstract construct for the people above to worry about. Savos struggled to keep his mind from straying, peeking at past regret and putting others in the place of Kvinna and Verna.   Atmah and Hafnar…  It was as if they had parted only a few days ago. The clever, ambitious Redguard new to Winterhold, who had immediately found a friend in Savos; and Hafnar, the bold, jolly Nord, the brother Savos never had. He hoped they still stood firm after all those years, encasing Morokei in his eternal prison; eternal imprisonment they shared, all of them, in their own right.

Most difficult chapter (Rashkan 8.5): Always the one in progress. I'm one of those weirdos who enjoy editing more than writing, so getting the first draft and structural edits down first is always such a pain in the ass. Since I posted the introduction to chapter 19 (still unpublished) a while back, have an excerpt from chapter 18. It's technically a bit spoiler-y but without context, I doubt one can make much of it.

Rashkan made a clucking noise with his tongue, scowling at Muzgog. The hulking orc glared at him through narrowed eyes, his temple pulsing red. Rashkan ignored him and sat up straight. "And what a life it would have been: A life in fear. Of war, famine, illness, the creatures of the night and the daedra that spawned them. Until she died of some wolf or bandit or vampire—a life without any accomplishment," he spoke coolly, his eyes searching the wooden chicken and finding it still in Muzgog's massive hands. "When I arrived in this land, I was lost. Rejected. By my relatives, by the college. I was nothing; another dreg washed ashore in Windhelm, sobering up to the bleak reality of Skyrim. When I was at my darkest, had given up on life here, in this cold, cruel land, I met her. Licette Vantieve, the woman who made me what I am. She took me in with her band of hedge-mages and vampires. She gave me a home, people I called family, and a purpose," he looked Muzgog in the eye. "It was a bloody, hard life, but I would have rather died than give it up." "And for that you took an ice spike to the gut." "Mhm, exactly. What I am trying to say is: You gave that girl a gift greater than any other. You gave her a life with a purpose." Muzgog sat still as a rock, staring at the fireplace, where, bit by bit, cinders became ash. Then, suddenly, he turned to Rashkan and laughed, a ragged sound like millstones grinding against each other. "Spoken like a true stronghold orc; all that pompous talk of family and purpose. Pah, if I were of their stock, I'd be right with you." His expression shifted, and whatever fleeting mirth it contained vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "But I'm of Markarth. Never seen a stronghold from the inside."

I love that exchange... If you've become curious about A Change of Seasons: Foe, you can check it out here. Like all parts of ACoS so far, it can be read as standalone.

[badassxbirdy]

Edit: Some people are having trouble with the mobile nav link in the blog description. Click here if it isn’t working for you.

October Activity Update - Pinned Post

Happy spooky season! It’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these monthly posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. This update includes things posted or in drafts for August and September, as I missed last months post. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag. There’s also the thread tracker here.

The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.

If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens and memes, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.

Now onto the update!

OOC housekeeping:

I can no longer trim posts that were started in the legacy editor. I’ll be messaging folks about moving threads to a new post as and when those replies come up.

Text size! While I personally prefer small text as I find it easier to read on mobile, I know many folks prefer the opposite. So rather than relying on my memory to keep track of who to use bigger text for, I’m just going to match whatever text size my RP partner uses going forward.

RPThreadTracker does a fantastic job of tracking replies even when you don’t get a notification on tumblr itself. If you’re having issues with the current notifications glitch, I really recommend giving it a try.

There’s been a weird situation happening anons where they’ll send a really dodgy message, and tag another blog to try and incriminate them as the sender. Here’s a PSA post explaining.

Threads, replies and other IC interactions:

@astormymind

Library ghost (drafted) (Finn)

Memes from Prue and Alex are in the drafts!

@beastbitten

“I ain’t lookin’ for trouble.” (link)

@demcnsinmymind

Car trouble (drafted)

Taking Lance on a hunt (drafted)

At the motel (link)

Azzy proves a point (drafted)

Mischief at the bar (link)

@demonstigma

Kage is weird, but Ty appreciates accidental compliments. 😂 (drafted)

@derschwarzeengel

Ty tracks down Vampire!Damon. (link)

“Ken means…” (drafted)

Fence related incidents (link)

Roasting 50 shades (link)

Damon shields Ty, Ty calls him a gothy tree-hugger. 🤷‍♀️ (link) - moved from the legacy editor.

Damon encounters Dark!Ty (link) - moved from the legacy editor.

Ty gets sick and is a brat about it. (link)

“She’s a ghost AND a bitch!” (link)

Werewolf problems (link) - moved from the legacy editor.

@destroyerscved

Magic bean juice (drafted) - Edward

“How did you find me?” (drafted) - Nia

“If you actually wanted to kill me, I'd be dead, wouldn't I?" (link) - Adrian

“Drink your school, stay in drugs” (drafted) - Samantha

@discipulusmaleficus

“ This isn’t what it looks like.” (link)

Abandoned house (drafted)

@ebonyforged

Ty meets Ebony! 😁 (link)

@first-born-to-his-name

“What is your day job?” (link)

@hvbris

Ty meets Hook (link)

An appointment with Doctor Soliman (drafted)

A questionable attempt to cheer up Olive. 😂 (drafted)

@imprvdente

Ty and FBI!fish at the motel (link)

Birthday mischief (drafted)

@indyflanery

At the fair (drafted)

@jchnwinchester

“You know me?” (link)

@kingofthewebxxx

Ghost warnings? That’s new. (link)

@loyaltyguided

Cuteness with Azzy! ❤️ (drafted)

@lcbcshcart

Monster encounter (drafted)

@luposcainus

Ty is shocked to find Caspian isn’t dead. 😂 (link)

@magaprima

Demon problems part (drafted)

Demon problems part 2: electric boogaloo (drafted)

@nightiingaled

“You should have killed me when you had the chance.” (link) - Than

“I need a stronger word than fuck” (link) - Mel

Time for “The Talk” (link) - Mel

@normallyxstranger

Starter for Victor (drafted) - Welcome back! ❤️

@ourwar

Babysitting Jude and the Doctor (link)

“You’re welcome.” (link) - Homelander

@pantslessoptimism

“I totally didn’t do what you think I did.” (link)

Cannibal ghosts (link)

@stanfordprepped

“What in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?” (link)

@tobeblamed

Dean is better than google. 😇 (link)

Memes/asks: 8

Drafts: 21, and I have no idea how I got so far behind jfc. ☠️

Headcanon, Dash games, and assorted silliness:

Bingo cards with Lance, Azrael, Fish, Isaac, and Michael! (link)

Mel and Killian come to blows while Tyler is missing. (link)

Messing with Killian. (link)

The bot brigade are annoying, but they have some truly banging names! Here are some of my favourites.

I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I am either having a brain fart or I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, and stay safe! ❤️ — Em

[satashiiwrites]

Valentine’s Day Fic Preview

Well… Grammerly appears to be glitching for me tonight so no editing was done.  I’m hoping to start posting this sometime next week (ha!) and stay on task to get done by the middle of February.  

Someone tell my muse to quit adding subplots.  

Anyways, this is still draft 2.0 version of this. 

Title: Sleepless in LA

Fandom: 911

Pairing: Eventual endgame Buddie, mentioned Buck/Abby, Eddie/Shannon, Eddie/Ana, and Buck/Ali

Fic Summary:  

Navigating the aftermath of Shannon’s death, Eddie never thought he’d be a widower by age thirty-two and raising a kid on his own without any help. When Christopher calls in to one of those late night talk radio shows asking how to help his Dad, Eddie realizes that he needs to try and move on for Christopher’s sake so he reluctantly starts dating what everyone tells him is the perfect woman  for someone like him. 

It turns out Christopher and he have much different ideas of just who they need.

 Buck has had a terrible year.  His physical injuries from the truck bombing were bad enough but having Ali leave him seems like a sign from the universe that he’s always meant to be alone. Listening to the radio at night, he hears the most adorable kid ever talking about how his Dad is sad and needs a new partner—LA kids are pretty progressive and this Christopher kid isn’t particular if his Dad ends up with a woman or a man. It almost gives him hope but who would want to date a firefighter who can’t help anyone?

A chance encounter on a pier, a natural disaster, and a promise made to meet up at the Griffith Park Observatory on Valentine’s Day brings together two soulmates who in another life would have met very differently. 

tags: second-ish draft. Heavily inspired by Sleepless in Seattle, Alternative Universe (Eddie doesn’t join the 118) with alternative first meeting, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, grief, angst, set vaguely in season 3, misunderstanding/assumed death (not really dead), we’re not purposefully going to bash any other canon relationship, timeline what timeline?

I must be a mermaid.  I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living—Anais Nin

They buried Shannon on a Tuesday—she’d died the previous Thursday. Everything had moved at lightning speed since then, except when time slowed to a painful crawl designed to hold Eddie in this new hell he found himself in.  His parents had arrived Saturday, and his mother had a comment for everything, like a leaky faucet. 

Drip.  How could she leave him again?

Drip.  Well, she had abandoned them first, and this was just a pattern of bad behavior…

Drip.  It was terrible that all of Shannon’s family was dead and wouldn’t be at the funeral to mourn her. 

Drip. Drip. Drip. 

A continuous, poisonous litany that made him want to scream in rage at the world until it all just stopped hurting. 

Eddie had loved her—still did love her. Didn’t he?  She was the mother of his son—the best kid ever.  He would die without Christopher and she’d given him to Eddie. 

Never mind the divorce she’d asked for when he’d taken her out with plans on rekindling their relationship fully only a few days earlier. 

Never mind how hard he’d been trying. 

Still—Shannon had been his wife.  He’d loved her even though it was complicated.  She was Christopher’s mother.  No matter what had happened before she hadn’t been planning on leaving them both by dying. 

(Even if she had been leaving him again.  Divorce felt permanent…)

LA in March was sunny like always even if he felt like the storm cloud around his head was doing nothing but pour out the flood of tears he couldn’t seem to let fall down his cheeks.  

He had Christopher to think of and be strong for and protect. 

Eddie held onto Chris as they both tried to hold it together, ignoring the discomfort of new dress shoes and a too tight shirt collar underneath the too warm suit jacket he’d bought so they’d both match as his mother had insisted on.  They’d spent too much on them and he’d already mentally swore to never make Chris or himself wear them again. 

The priest finished the brief prayer and encouraged Eddie and Chris to step forward to make a last goodbye.   The thorns had been cut off the rose stem but it was still pricking his fingers as he was holding it too tight.  Chris buried his nose in the blood red flower petals, taking a deep sniff before kissing the rose and then throwing it to rest on the casket lid. Eddie followed suit, curling his arm around Chris who was clinging to his side like he was afraid Eddie would fall in and join Shannon in her grave. 

Stepping aside after a moment, he lifted Chris into his arms. Chris was getting a bit too big to do this but they both needed it right now.  The small nose that tucked into his neck to hide from the rest of their family let loose a few sniffles and the too-tight collar was getting wet but he ignored it and rocked side to side as the rest of his family and his entire shift of coworkers placed flowers into the grave then lined up to express their condolences for his loss.

A sad smile and nod of understanding from his captain—Ronnie Cooper. Lena grimaced as she stepped up and gave him a bone crushing hug while stroking her hand down Chris’ back with a soft, ‘if you need anything—anything at all you call me.��  Logan, Calley and Stover fumbled their way through variations of ‘Sorry for your loss’ with their girlfriends hanging awkwardly on their arms. Stover was twice divorced but thought he might try marriage again with his current girlfriend who looked a bit wide-eyed at being introduced to the rest of the station at a funeral.  Logan and Calley went through relationships like tissue paper but were good guys, their dates appropriately subdued to match the mood. 

Eventually, though, it was just him and his family lingering around the gravesite.  

“Eddie,” his mom called gently, her hand resting on his elbow as she urged him to start walking towards the car. “The funeral luncheon will be starting shortly.”

Funeral luncheon. Abuela was hosting it because he was too much of a disaster in the kitchen to even think of hosting it.  Never mind how disorganized he’d been about arranging everything else. 

Shannon hadn’t even been catholic but they’d had the funeral done that way because his mother had insisted and Eddie hadn’t had the energy to argue with her about it. A mass followed by a prayer before the burial and then a luncheon to follow where everyone would eat Abuela’s best recipes that could be made in large enough quantities fast. 

“Do we just leave Mom here?” Chris’ voice cracked and warbled, his hands tightening into tiny fists in Eddie’s shirt.  

“Oh Mijo,” Eddie said, trying to tuck Chris’ head back into his neck but Chris was fighting him and wanted to be let down. 

“We can’t just leave her here!”     

“She’s not here,” Eddie tried to soothe his distraught son.  “Your Mom’s gone to heaven.”

“How do you know?” Chris asked, eyes glassy with distress. 

“Because your Mom loved us,” Eddie said.  “And when you love that much, sometimes heaven needs you.”

“But we need her!”

“I know Mijo.  Mom’s watching over both of us now—all the time.  From heaven.”

In response, Chris just thumped him in the chest with his small fists as he cried into Eddie’s neck. The absolute sobs of despair wracked his thin frame, fighting his grief physically as well as emotionally. 

It was heart breaking and all Eddie could do was hold him. 

“I’m here, Mijo” he whispered, over and over again as his heart broke one more time.  “I’m here.”

[notasapleasure]

10 favourites meme

I got tagged by @batri-jopa, thank you friend! Funnily enough I had a long draft of my 10 favourite characters written out and ready to go, though I hadn't been tagged, so this just provides the perfect opportunity to post it! Tagging @stripedroseandsketchpads @erinaceina @notfromcold @bellaroles and anyone else who wants to take part.

I put the characters below the cut because it got long as I tried to justify myself, but I thought I'd copy you and also give a top 10 fandoms by way of introduction for the few new followers who have found me :)

Fandoms (counted as media that I've created fanworks for or actively commented on others' fics for) and what I love about them

The Lymond Chronicles aka tiny fandom: I love all the outsider perspective and unreliable narration around the protagonist, but also I love that he isn't perfect and a lot of problems are caused by his failure to trust people/open up. He has his reasons for being like that, but I like a story where it's clear the hero/great man actually needs those around him (even if they also frequently fuck up and misunderstand things) to get to the end of the story. It's the first series I read since LotR that immersed me so thoroughly in its world - an uncompromising, rich and nuanced take on a huge geographical sweep of history.

And Then We Danced: Oh, it's all about taking beautiful traditions that someone says mustn't ever be changed/aren't for you and making them your own, proving there's no ownership over art forms and culture. It's learning about yourself through art and through other people, it's standing up to the bigots and finding community and defining your nationality and traditions anew in more inclusive, vibrant ways. It's also all the pain of not having the chance to find out more about a first love and all the potential for what might happen in the gaps in the narrative.

The Terror (TV series): haha people sure do put themselves in Positions, don't they? I am fascinated by the hubris and the absurdity of the Franklin expedition, and how the show zones in on the isolated men in their boats and puts their values - good and bad, helpful and destructive - under a microscope and watches what happens to them under the stresses of darkness, illness, hunger and hauntings. There is so much love in the show even as everything that can go wrong does go wrong, there are all these little rituals and objects that people use to give meaning to what they're doing.

Star Wars (predominantly Rogue One): Rogue One reminded me of the SW universe I loved as a teenager, the unimportant people who weren't Force sensitive or powerful, but who fought to do the right thing anyway. I will be watching Andor for the same reason (and tagging so my friends who need to block it can block it - and not letting the Mouse have my money for any of it don't worry about that).

Ripper Street: I loved seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5. The less said about 2 the better for me, though I know a lot of people on here are big fans. In my head, there was a much more interesting story lurking beneath season 4 and 5 that I'm always disappointed wasn't drawn out - the immigrant children who were traumatised on their journey to London ('the world comes to London and London becomes the world' <3) and responded in such different ways. And by god I wanted Reid to answer for all he did wrong but I loved that fucked up man and his Victorian hypocrisy. Hmmm when I stop to think about it I really want to re-watch, though maybe only cherry picking the episodes that tie into my alternative narrative theories.

Utopia (C4 series): I have written fic for this! So odd as it may be, this is a fandom. I haven't been able to bring myself to re-watch since the pandemic because yikes, and it's so cruel that it ends as it does, unfinished. But it's so compelling - season 1 is good, season 2 is absolutely heart-rending. Everyone is complex and fascinating and always developing - the games of 3D morality chess going on are wild, and again, love is such an important factor even as everyone fucks up again and again.

Musketeers (BBC series): I never did watch season 3, it all felt far too silly by then. It's on the list because I wrote a couple of fics way back when and it was the first time I'd written fic in well over a decade. Episode 1 had such potential. The cast was so good. But it just...wanted to be a silly BBC series and not a complicated historically-engaged series so I'll simply enjoy drunk and grumpy Tom Burke!Athos, beautiful-haired Jerott-fancast Pasqualino!D'Art, luschious-moustached cunningulus-loving Santiago Cabrera!Aramis and unutterably perfect WHY-HASN'T-HE-BEEN-ALLOWED-TO-MAKE-THAT-DUMAS-FILM-YET Howie Charles!Porthos without trying to engage my brain these days.

Ghosts (BBC series): I haven't written for it, but I had a glorious binge of Captain/Havers fics after seeing that episode and it gave me enormous feelings of The Kids Are All Right because, while a lot of it felt like it was written by quite young fans, there was so much great ND!Captain and acespec!Captain but there was also some excellent what-if-they'd-just boned fic and I loved it all and it was just the kind of delightful escpaist comfort fic I would hope for from the series.

Castlevania: I still haven't watched the last series wtaff!! Hey guess who loves the big burly idiot who's accomplished in battle and hates how much he's become attached to the effete blond bisexual disaster? haha yeah. Trevor my love you're the hottest cartoon character since Fox from Animals of Farthing Wood :p I haven't written fic for it, but I do love me some filthy Trevor/Sypha/Alucard smut :D

Lupin: Again, not one I've written for, but goddd I want all the Lupin/Benjamin fic! Classic 'male protag is kind of a disaster in the life of every woman he interacts with but he's got a best friend who is never really given any background reason for why he helps him out of literally every scrape so I have decided they're better together'. That is all.

Bonus!! Our Flag Means Death: so far only really interacting with fic when my friend writes it, but I love to see how much @notfromcold loves it! All the characters are great and I don't really have anything to add to fandom but I enjoy it a lot :)

Ok now ten favourite charcters. Not in any particular order, I just wonder if putting them side by side and rotating them in the light will make any patterns emerge.

Eta: holy shit. Yeah. There are patterns. There's a lot of 'characters who pour all their emotions directly into someone else to help further the protagonist/narrative journey and end up not getting anything to show for it in the end'. There are also some crazy ladies :')

And while I didn't put Merab or Irakli in the list below, you can see why either would fit my style. I will say though, that while I fell for Merab when I watched ATWD it was seeing people blame Irakli for hurting him and acting like Irakli was just a heartless asshole that made me furiously protective over Irakli and made me want to explore Merab's own worse side too (love himmm but he's not perfect either).

1. Jerott Blyth (Lymond Chronicles)

Loyal, confused, competent and doomed to an unhappy ending. A brilliant second, who will go along with nearly anything if you just explain it to him - he needs trust and leadership and is unfortunately in the shadow of a leader who finds it nearly impossible to trust and share. But when he does!! Oh. My heart. Jerott's never bitter about being second best though, he's just a man who thinks he's simpler than he is, caught up in a world of complicated, fascinating, infuriating people.

2. Faramir (Lotr)

A good man trying to do good who is Never Enough for the person he looks up to. Happy to be a steward not a king, dutiful to the point of self-destruction. Thoughtful, intelligent and cultured, but generous and devoid of bitterness. Like Jyn and Cathy and lots of the others in this list, it's also particularly his relationship with another that I vibe off (I could have put Éowyn as the fave just as easily), and the way he sees in her the sadness he's experienced himself, but he chooses to reach out, to offer her a different perspective, to be kind and never bitter. Love my depressed kids who feel they'll never live up to expectations but find each other and learn to heal together.

3. Harry Goodsir (The Terror TV series)

...a pattern begins to emerge. Another good man who starts off thinking that the rules are there for a good reason, wanting to see the best in everything, believing that mutual benefit can come from a deeply imperialistic, imbalanced encounter. But he's not a pushover - he is content with his position until he feels he isn't respected and he sees his values are not those of his superiors, and then he stands up for his principles and standards. Does he become bitter? I'd say not - he's fuelled by a kind of singular, protective fury in the end, a desire to save whatever about the place can still be saved from the selfish destructiveness of his people.

4. Deborah Goren (Ripper Street)

She puts herself out for others to a point where it's almost unhealthy - and when it becomes so, she draws her boundary and says 'no more', she won't be the homewrecker when there's a chance for Reid to be this honest with Emily still. Again without bitterness or meanness, just in recognition that she can do no more without losing herself.

5. Jyn Erso (Rogue 1)

Closest thing to a protagonist so far on this list, but she's still in an ensemble piece and only effective because of that! I'm tempted to say it's specifically her connection with Cassian that makes her, and him, characters I love so much. They're mirrors, as Diego Luna said in an interview iirc, and it's by seeing each other that they remember their fire and determination to resist the empire (not that Cassian has forgotten this, but the hope he uses as a mantra has been something beyond him personally for a time, and seeing Jyn crawl her way out of the emotional pit she was in reminds him of things he's forgotten imo). Again competent and doomed, I suppose she fits my preference for secondary characters in the sense of the wider universe - she and the rest of the R1 crew are the sacrifice needed in order for the OT to happen and for Leia, Luke and Han to have their stories.

6. Daniel Molloy (IWTV TV series)

Not the protagonist, acts as a sounding board and outside perspective on the things the MC tells themself, doomed in the sense of his illness and age relative to the immortals he's found himself around...he fits the bill! He might be a bit more snarky and bitter than some of the others, but idk, I still don't think bitterness is his predominant trait - he's incisive and observant and wryly competent. I can't wait to find out more about him.

7. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars OT)

Haha this one is a protagonist Jo!! Literally the Hero on his journey!!

Well let me tell you that 10-year-old me, when first exposed to Star Wars, was not as yet familiar with old Joey C and formalist approaches to storytelling. There are a couple of reasons I think it's important to have Luke on this list. 1) I distinctly remember him being the first blorbo I had where I was like 'this trait [earnest optimism fwiw] actually annoys me deeply and yet he is still my fave. Why?' and 2) whatever media I had been consuming and whatever people I was around, it was a fixed idea for me at that point that The Hero Gets The Girl, and the sibling reveal was a '???? *animal turns its head 90 degrees to try to understand* moment. The hero doesn't become a kind of sexless monk-knight who insists fascists can be redeemed because they're dad-shaped! I joke I joke. Vader is far from dad-shaped, he's just dad. Anyway I recall being FASCINATED and vexed by Luke constantly and he was without doubt my favourite of the original trio. Was that because I thought he should be because he's positioned as the hero? Hmm. Maybe. But I remember it being a kind of thing with the people around me that liking Luke was a bit babyish, and Han was the more 'complex' 'grown-up' character. (Insert Always Sunny conspiracy board meme.jpg IT WAS THE SAME THING WITH STEPHEN GATELY OF BOYZONE WHEN I PREFERRED HIM TO RONAN something something cultural infantilisation/desexualisation of queer people (I only learnt later how many people read Luke as queer)).

Anyway, what I'm kind of getting at is the ways in which Luke is an unusual protagonist, and socially, my experience was of people not treating him as an MC because he was 'boring'. But even as a kid I knew that wasn't true and was fascinated by his repeated *decisions* to be good, to believe in the good and again, not to be embittered by what he goes through. Also the loyalty and earnestness came to be favourite aspects.

8. Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights)

Aaaaah. Uhhh. Make this one fit your theory, bitch! Well, starting simple, WH is once more an ensemble piece about the significant influence a group of people have on each other. Catherine and Heathcliff are mutually significant to each other's journey and arc and emotional development (reverse of the Jyn and Cassian pulling each other out of the mire thing though! Dragging each other down because they can't escape their social circumstances). Cathy doesn't exactly choose to be good, but her choices are motivated by a (misguided, patronising, cowardly) intention to do what she can with her situation (gender) to get ahead in the world and bring Heathcliff with her - because she can't imagine willingly 'lowering' herself to his level, he must rise. Ahh...*chews stalk of grass and surveys crop of awful faves* gives me feelings about Jerott and Marthe's marriage again. Anyway, blah blah, you get the picture - doomed to unhappiness but tries so hard to exert control over her life/others/the narrative anyway.

Also I love a mad lass who dreams of the moors. <3 #teamCathyneverdidanythingwrongever

9. Lucy Snowe (Villette)

Hahahahaha. Speaking of mad lasses! Lucy doesn't believe she's the protagonist. She's plain and weird and not meant to be The One Who Is Loved by the kind, handsome man or the mean, beautiful woman. She believes she's doomed to an unhappy ending - so much so that she even appears to summon one for herself, snatching it from the jaws of happily-ever-after. She's never upset about her position (except when she's so consumed with shame/angst/etc because she realises she let herself believe the handsome man might care for her momentarily), she's an outsider with a wry, cynical view of the people around her, but she does still crave involvement and recognition. Not at all self-aware and 1000x more entertaining for it. Also goes on a furious opium-fuelled rampage through the town, what's not to love?

10. Gudrun Brangwen (Women in Love)

Another mad lass :) Gudrun is a modern lady who thinks she's in control of her life and her sexuality. She realises way too late that she's in fact caught up in Gerald's own experimental, philosophical approach to the modern world (I wanna say like... basically a giant wager between him and Rupert) and she's still subordinate to him and his wants. It's been a long time since I read it, but her angst about the physical side of their relationship always stays with me - when she feels like a glass of wine he's draining for his own strength and she lies awake feeling unsettled and doubtful, while he sleeps it off with a masculine kind of arrogance (sorry, it's a DH Lawrence book, I'm allowed to describe it like that) after they have sex. Also when she punches that cow it's amazing. (I mean the animal, not being rude about another woman. Haha oh Lawrence you funny little man).

--

By and large then, it's secondary characters (my thesis was on minor characters why is this a surprise!) who exist to support the protagonist, or some other character, and whose relationships with the the protagonist/that other character make me feral, because they play a role that is meant to be kind of thankless but without them the protagonist couldn't achieve what they need to achieve/the story couldn't progress as it does. God it literally IS my thesis fml.

[laurelsofhighever]

Writer’s Year-End Roundup!

I was tagged by the lovely @asaara-writes and I’m going to cop out and tag anyone who wants to do this and hasn’t already XD

Overall, 2022 was a good year. I finally sorted my ideas out enough to get back to longfic. Mostly it was about planning but since that came easily in places I’ve also started proper writing, and as of today, I’m 12 chapters into my Prince Alistair AU and just about ready to start posting.

Outside Dragon Age, DOTA; Dragon’s Blood season 3 gave me some lovely inspiration and I’m pretty proud of te work I did there. The Wayhaven Chronicles also gripped me tight and would not let go, and aside from some solid oneshots I’m now pretty much halfway through the first murder mystery story I’ve ever attempted, complete with vampires. It’s been a lot of fun reconnecting with all the characters I’ve written about in this last year, especially since 2021 was still mostly spent in a nice creative primordial soup waiting for ideas to coalesce.

Special mention to the print version of Falcon, which is a project I started last year and hope to get finished this year so it can sit and look pretty on my shelf.

Words written: 75,307, of which 29,562 has been published. This isn’t as much as I was expecting considering how many hours it feels I’ve put in, but 1) it’s still the length of a pretty hefty novel and 2) I haven’t counted all the words that are just planning or notebook scribbling, so it’s actually a heck of a lot more.

New things I tried: The biggest new thing is the venture into the murder mystery genre with Like Glitter And Gold. Having to work backwards from the crime to the clues meant the whole story has had to be much tighter than I’m used to in terms of detail, which meant having a much more invested plan and many, many conspiracy board diagrams before I could actually start to write. It’s been fun, though. Apart from that, I’ve learned that I’m most efficient when I plan out a rough script for a chapter first and then try to fill it in, instead of writing a detailed draft on the first try. I’ll definitely use this going forward and hopefully it means I’ll have a bigger wordcount for next year.

Fic I spent the most time on: My Prince Alistair AU for sure. Partly because I’m having to replay the game to refresh my memory of the events and transcribe then rearrange a lot of the dialogue, but also because it’s given me a lot of problems with the structure. It’s also how I found out I don’t so well trying to make a polished first draft. Also also, Dragon Age: Origins is a ridiculously long game, with so much talking - 35k words in, and they’ve only just left Lothering!

Fic I spent the least time on: I always feel miserable on my birthday, so this year I channelled that energy into Once More Around The Sun, a Nate x Detective Leah oneshot that I pushed out in a day. Except for the epistolary chapter of Falcon, it’s the most I’ve ever written in a single day, so I’m pretty proud of it. Happy Birthday to me.

Favourite thing I wrote: I’m pretty pleased with everything I’ve written for TWC this year, in particular So Let Us Melt, And Make No Noise, a fluffy, angsty oneshot, and Like Glitter And Gold, the murder mystery longfic, because it’s been something new for me.

Favourite thing I read: New Year’s Resolution: actually bookmark fics when you like them! I have binged works by @serenpedac (TWC), @tarysande (Shakarian), and @viciously-witty (Labyrinth), and very early in the year I finally got around to The Revelation In All Things by @ellenembee, which is one of the most we thought out Cullen x Lavellan fics I’ve read. In terms of published works, I actually read published stuff this year! Highlights include The Lies of Locke Lamora, Nightwatch, Sistersong, and Ivanhoe.

Writing goals for next year: Finish the remaster and print version of Falcon so I can finally put it on my shelf, finish LG&G, finally start a proper first draft of my Post-Blight story, make separate masterposts for Dragon Age and everything else to pin to each of my blogs, and streamline the way I plot for the Prince Alistair AU. Should be simple enough...

[kyofsonder]

Find the Word

I was tagged twice by @on-noon to find two sets of words in my WIPs, so I’m combining both sets into a single post. Thank you for tagging me, and giving me a chance to play my favorite writeblr game after being away for a few days.

My Words: train, trying, stressed, intricate, translate, front, frame, freeze, free, friend

I’ll tag: @wynter-of-dusk, @houndsofcorduff, @junypr-camus, @aohendo, @365runesofwriting, @calicojackofficial, and as always anyone who wants to join in the game can use the following words and say I tagged them!

Your Words: skate, stall, brush, crave, veil

With so many words to find, this post is going to get long – so I’ll put the WIP exerpts themselves under a cut as usual. If I can’t find a word, I’ll share a fun fact related to the word instead.

I found train(ed) in my novel WIP “A Place to Return”:

Still... he takes a moment to read more recent entries instead of the script itself. Owen sounds so excited in them. He's been having so much fun figuring out how to hunt, how to refine his fishing techniques, how to use weapons so he can (shakily, according to his mentor) replicate the skills Leo had trained in before leaving home, how to use magic items. Every other sentence asks a new question, not only curious but also clearly eager to make it so that when they do swap back Leo returns to the best conditions possible.

I found trying in the same WIP, a little before the last excerpt:

"I can... ask her to transfer some money... if you need it?" Kelly is trying so hard to act like the responsible older brother. It's like he's standing there with a handful of sunset berries, dropping a few as he struggles to hand them over. Wait. Not that. On Earth it's an olive branch, isn't it? Like he's holding out an olive branch, whatever that looks like, and hoping his little brother will take the other end.

I found stressed in the script draft of my Sk8 the Infinity Matchablossom fic “Flipping a Switch”, in a scene where most of the Sk8 cast is having a meal at Joe’s restaurant:

Miya: (rolling his eyes): Give him a break, guys. He might be an idiot, but it's not like he controls how busy this place is.

Hiromi: He controls how many employees he has serving people!

Miya: Oh, so now you know what it takes to run a restaurant?

[Hiromi and Miya devolve into an argument about restaurants in general, completely ignoring their friends.]

Reki: Seriously, though, Joe, I was just messing with you. We came here to hang out, not to get you stressed.

Langa: I really am hungry, though.

Reki: Yeah. That's true. But Joe's got work to do, so...

Langa (only a little sad): Yeah.

Kojiro: Thanks, but I don't want to leave any customers hungry. Especially when they're my friends. Just let me get these last few people at the counter, and I'll take your order myself.

I didn’t find intricate in any particular WIP, but I did find it in some worldbuilding for a world in my story collection WIP “Love as Indicated”:

The year on Ait'kulith KIT 1B, in many countries, starts in May because that is the month when common Nightingales, known to have particularly complex/intricate mating songs, begin advertising for mates. Birds in general are seen as heralds of the Goddess of Fate, and nightingales in particular embody the importance of music in this world. Their mating season ends in late August, and so the first 4 months of the year are marked by their singing.

I didn’t find translate in any particular WIP, but I did find it in some worldbuilding about one of my magic systems, Soul Magic:

There are materials available for studying the basics of Soul Magic. These usually recount what other Soul Mages have found useful in the past, like materials that have worked well as vessels for spirits and techniques that have kept souls themselves from losing focus or misinterpreting a mage’s requests/orders. However, there are no materials to translate the language of the dead, which is at the core of Soul Magic itself. Souls speak in a way that simply cannot be translated unless you've learned directly, through sustained exposure to their language – especially from a young age. If you can't speak their language, then trial and error is your best chance to figure out how to communicate. Good luck.

I found front in my novel WIP “To Be Honest”, in a scene containing a brief mention of blood:

"You can't even see what's right in front of your face! This is what you want!" Micah opens his eyes and immediately regrets his decision. The shadow walking towards him glimmers with magic and the reflective shine of liquid, only the barest semblance of a human being beneath a coat of blood. There's no trace of David here. He probably hasn't been talking to his actual brother at any point. Just this. It stomps its formless feet across the dirt and reaches out its arms until there's a squish against his chest and a pressure that pushes him toward the ground.

I found frame in an unfinished, untitled short story from back when I was trying to write a complete story every day back in February – about a guy asking a dragon for an insomnia cure:

He catches himself looking around at the source of that blue-green glow, surprised by the sheer size of some of the holo-screens that fill up every open space on every wall in the room. They're not all the exact same size, but a few of them take up so much space that he wonders how they hadn't blinded him the second he'd arrived. The largest screen sits across from the couch, stretching to the corners of its wall. The display itself is either frozen or paused on what looks like a still frame from a movie. The scene shows two people offering wound up circles of flowers and clovers to a third person under a tree in a meadow. Everyone's smiling. The one being offered flowers even looks like they might be laughing. If he could stop holding his breath and make the scene un-pause, he knows he'd hear words and sounds that would... that would... he's not exactly sure what they would do or how long he's been holding his breath, but nothing happens when he starts breathing again and he can't help feeling disappointed.

I found freeze in the second draft of my Danny Phantom fic "Lingering Scars":

She's probably feeling some of the same things he'd felt in that bathroom, watching the marks of his own emotional turmoil disappear and reappear as he'd transformed. Shell-shocked and horrified, realizing that the things they'd thought were simple paths from infliction to recovery are actually more winding trails with forks that lead to unwanted places. He doesn't let his clone linger in that space, turned around at the road behind her and letting its twisting maze overwhelm her. The first time you see it can be a paralyzing and heavy moment. It can freeze you in the most literal way -- even without ice powers.

I found free in my short story WIP "Kiyo":

"Sure thing," I get my own words out as steadily as I can manage. I'm not really sure what else to do, so I place my free hand over the vines on my wrist and gently pat them. "Thank you, too," I realize I'm still talking before I know what I'm trying to say, "I probably didn't do a good job keeping you healthy, but you've done a really good job at... I guess I never said it to you before, actually. Thank you for keeping me alive. That's what you've been doing these past few months, but I didn't say it until now. So. Thank you, Kiyo. You've helped me with so many things, just by being there. I'm grateful for that. I'm glad I got to know you."

I found friend in my novel WIP "To Be Honest":

"You went all quiet. Oh. Oh, did you see a friend and not want to be seen talking to your cousins in front of people you actually like?" Finn gasps, drawing the sound out so Micah can imagine them holding their palms dramatically over their mouth -- vivid enough to make even Micah roll his eyes at the phone involuntarily, "Micah! You're making friends in college? That's amazing!"

This ended up being a really long post, as expected, but I found more of these words than I'd expected. This was a really fun challenge!