#I just rly dont want the ppl who made my character's designs think Im just letting them collect dust yknow?

[arolesbianism]

Looking at the characters I got on toyhouse's ownership logs and it's making me so curious and a lil bit emotional... Like damn some of my lil guys were owned by someone else for years before they ended up in my hands, what were they back then? Actual characters? A design in someone's ufo folder? Did they have different names? Different stories? When did their previous owners lose connection? It's strange to think abt how old some of them are too, like Brady's toyhouse page is over 5 years old, like I was like 14 when his page was made how wild is that

[butterscotch-brigade]

i watched a bluey ep for the first time recently with my youngest sibling and its a very cute show, it actaully disapoints me people are very weird about it though. and i mean both people who dislike people for watching it and those who are just gross about it. i really hope that doesnt affect the show :( i know that happens sometimes.

but anyway i think you really pushed me into watching it and you rbing bluey reminded me i did and i loved it it made me feel like a little kid. but i have to ask how do you tell the characters apart because i had such a hard time doing so and i don't know why?? maybe i just need to watch some more lol.

!!!! AHHHH IM SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO HELP INTRODUCE U TO THIS SHOW!!!! its so so cute and funny and charming and heartwarming im glad u like it :) and yeah, every show has its fair share of haters and Weirdos which is unfortunate :( thankfully ive been lucky enough to avoid seeing Gross stuff when searching for fan content which is a relief bc i remember stumbling across that stuff all the time in the mlp/brony days lol. i think thats why a lot of ppl are concerned abt there being a Fandom for it and while that is an understandable worry i personally havent had any problems w the community (Yet AJSJDJ) and while i know for a fact there are ppl who are Gross abt it i think its generally easier to avoid them compared to how it was back then which im glad about LOL i do hope its the same for kids bc i dont want them to have to go thru what i went thru as a young mlp fan 😔😔😔😔

and YEAH AKSKSJS i can see how telling the characters apart could be p challenging at first. i didnt rly have a problem w it but there is a p large cast of side characters so i can understand forgetting who some characters are, especially when some of them have relatives who look like them and make it difficult to remember whos who. in my experience the more i watched the show the more i started to remember characters names and designs, so its probably just a matter of waiting it out until youre used to em. i think it also depends on what order u watch the episodes in; i try to watch eps chronologically bc i find its easier for me to remember characters that way.

but!!!! once again im rly happy u enjoy the show, its become a big comfort for me recently and it took me a while to be less self conscious and more open abt liking it so im glad u were able to fall in love w it too!!!! ty for the kind words anon i hope u have a great day :)

[undeadhorse]

i need to learn how to switch off. i am struggling with it a bit. its time to rest. the parts of the world i am participant in and witness to are resting. i need to as well. but im so hopped up on like. something. i had a really good day. two pieces of art i made got over 500 notes each. i had a REALLY good day. i had a nice sandwich, got a nice outfit on, got complimented on my outfit. saw a person who i think is cool and vibe with. submitted my application for tafe (a kind of tertiary education in australia, sort of similar to community college). listened to great music. and i like. walked up the really steep hill my house is on wayyyy faster than usual. it was really hard and it really wore me out. but i also feel pretty okay! and it didnt take me very long to recover. so maybe im getting a bit fitter. theres just a lot to be excited about. i even have an art idea im sitting on that i KNOW ppl will love. after that maybe i should focus more on art that is like, for me, not for anyone else. i should finally start putting some of the character concepts for Queens Meadow onto paper somehow. character design is something i rly struggle with lol i really need to practice that. brains all hyped up. it rly wants me to like, seek attention rn. i need to just chill. if i dont ill crash and burn and i dont need that rn.

[gwemrys]

i dont often see takes on morgana that are nuanced enough to my taste lol. she was designed by cis male writers who made like 90% of their already scarce amount of women villains, and who had her make damn good points first to then completely and utterly destroy anything that was good and kind about her, so they could justify dismissing all the good things she said and every valid complaint she had. (i am not complaining abt the mere fact that morgana herself was an antagonist but more about how it was handled.. keeping in mind that its written by cis men.) add onto that the fact that the creators made tons n tons of other choices that were So misogynistic it hurts.

BUT idk i just have mixed feelings abt discussing morgana bc if id make posts sort of defending her by saying she is written that way and its not her fault i feel like the white feminism side of the fandom will just loooooove to intensely agree, to then be able to continue praising the shit out of her with only rly rly vague n small side comments to ‘acknowledge’ that.. “she did bad things but but 🥺🥺..” ......like. many morgana stans (BY FAR not everyone but, many) just dont strike me as That angry at all about her cruel mistreatment of gwen for example.... theyre like oh nooo so tragic..... like they will admit its Bad but still keep their focus on morgana instead of how it rly affects gwen, a black woman. even tho i think honestly gwen was treated worse than morgana was. but the ratio of ppl complaining abt that versus about morgana’s mistreatment is so...... uneven. its just annoying that morgana is always centered when we complain abt how the writers mistreated female characters.... when actually its striking how morgana turned malicious towards gwen from the moment she knew gwen would become queen, something morgana wanted for herself.... which is such a whitefeminist(TM) thing to do

and if id make posts about how im not rly comfortable with some of the ways morgana is worshipped then id maybe give the wrong impression that i cant see or dont care about how fucked up it is that the way they wrote her and the way they wrote the whole show is flooded with misogyny and so many other kinds of bigotry.

i know i generalised a Lot here and i obviously dont assume everyone’s thinking falls into this dichotomy just because they dont express every possible nuance to everything at all times. but i just tend to see both extremes rly often and i think more ppl could do with some extra critical thinking skills tbh.

anyway in conclusion i do love morgana but many takes on her, whether they reflect a positive or negative attitude towards her, are just. way too one-sided n superficial.. plus they fail to devote the same amount of effort to addressing the harm that was done to gwen

[spearxwind]

Part 1: Hey! I love your art/OCS and your blog has introduced me to your friends who also have awesome OCs. This made me notice that Tumblr and Twitter seem to interact with original characters differently. I'd love to meet people and friends who'd like to interact with my OC doodles, but Twitter feels like a difficult space to get interaction, despite more artists moving over there. Whereas years ago, I had ask blogs for my fan-made and original characters which received plenty of interaction.

hi! yeah, from my experience twitter is a lot more eh... hostile when it comes to looking for interaction. it's a site that runs on people making short slapstick posts, with very limited characters, so people generally cant even talk a lot about their ocs in the first place. twitter also hides long threads, condenses them in your feed so you dont really see them

most artists have moved there bc of the nsfw ban, and generally twitter has a lot more users, so its a lot easier to find an audience IF, and only IF you already have a couple people to spread your posts around, bc twitter doesnt have the same kind of tagging system as tumblr does

ive definitely found more artists to follow through twitter but because of the super fast paced nature of the site (and also my short attention span) i dont really have time to get to know about peoples ocs at all

to answer your questions though:

1. posting on tumblr now gets me a LOT less interaction/notes than it used to. legit. i get maybe, 100-200 notes tops on normal posts when years ago i used to get twice or three times that. i get SOME more on generally popular ocs/designs bc people are like oohhh ahhh aesthetic but yeah. HOWEVER, it DOES occassionally get me curious people asking questions about my ocs which is ultimately what i really want. posting on twitter gets me a lot more attention (i mean, fucking compare my latest art, 340 notes on tumblr versus 4k total on twitter) but all the interaction with that tweet is people going 'oohh ahh thats so cool!!' but on tumblr SOMETIMES MAYBE i get questions going like ‘so based on ur last art, does oc do X’ or i get anons saying funny shit and its rly nice, i dont rly get that on twitter a whole lot 

2. dont fucking know how i drew in my crowd. i wish i did though so i could avoid it lmao. ii know back in 2015 i racked up a bunch of people/notoriety bc of httyd2 and i kinda rode that out into dragons and then creatures and then edgy stuff. i also am usually the one going out to people and going ‘wow ur ocs are sick bro can u tell me about them pwease’ especially on here bc again, its so much harder to do that on twitter

last notes: 

- ive seen ppl on twitter make side accounts specifically for oc talking. i myself have a personal account where i just go off abt ocs on occassion, but its also my private account that maybe 4 friends have total, i dont allow random people in. i rly wish i could do that on here though o

- on twitter anything you post will be gone from peoples feeds in 24 hours roughly. thats just how it is. you dont see people retweeting things that are super old unless the artist themself rts it and gets it circling for a day or two more. and yet without doing jack shit i have posts of mine circulating here on tumblr for fucking years, inexplicably. people are still reblogging my httyd posts, and following me for some very specific fanart i made in 2017 and i am like.why are you here. how did you find this 

- i HAVE seen my shit stolen/ripped off on tumblr a lot more than twitter though, but i think thats just because its easier for ppl on twitter to slip under the radar if they never interact with u. who knows though i havent exactly studied this 

idk if any of this is helpful but its my personal experience. im just rly biased towards twitter i hate it. i wish i could leave but 99% of my client base is there so i cant -_-

[unironicduncanstan]

@alenoah and @icedancerhell did this and ik im definitely going to be cancelled for my taste but explanations below

prince of egypt: oh my gfucking god . bro the music. the ANIMATION. the story too like obviously its based on a religious tale but i mean the way its portrayed and interpreted and how it all comes across was so on point. and did i mention THE FUCKGIN MUSIC dude i would try to sing every song when i was a kid and i think attempting that literally improved my range growing up

shrek: ok when ur a kid literally all u want is to feel mature and cool. shrek was that in an hour and 30 minutes. all the adult humor. and even the shit that would fly over your head somehow still always registered as so funny. every line is burned into my brain bc i watched it so much it was so fuckgin funny and entertaining and the storyline was so depthful and important. shrek for president

sinbad: oh yeah he makes me wanna sin. Bad

rise of the guardians: oooohhg the plot was so cool and intriguing,,, the designs were so unique,,,, also i actually used to. cosplay jack frost when i was a teen osfkjskjfhksdjf i might have like One picture around here somewhere,

over the hedge: every character is perfectly designed and perfectly voiced and the humor was so good. me at like 8 years old watching hammy the squirrel drink coffee and frolic around in a slowed down world was the peak of comedy

madagascar: its just such a classic. another movie where every line is burned into my cerebellum bc i had it on dvd. id say out of this whole list this close to number one. idk where to even begin with how stupidly hilarious it was to me

httyd: lbr who didnt just do a full [lisa simpson face] when you got to the end and hiccup had lost part of a leg. the whole movie had this aura that it was like not tethered down somehow while still being great family friendly media. also im ace sexual and UHH big dragon

--

antz: unironically i think it deserves so much more than it gets. the anti war messages are great the designs are cool and it goes back into the shrek maturity territory where they get to say CUSS WORDS. p much my only qualm is that woody allen had to be there 😔😔😔  

shark tale: ok dont cancel me but i really love the plot actually. i mostly love the mafia shark boy that dresses as a dolphin but even the will smith fish crash-and-burn fame hubris thing while annoying at times was rly intriguing. and the designs are the kind of thing that as a kid i loved but as an adult i do. struggle , w ith, a bit, but overall funny and entertaining story

el dorado: the music slaps so fuckgin hard thats another example of me tryna sing cartoon music to an embarrassing degree. also the Colorse . the designs . and the humor osjfsjdf the only downside is just a personal vibe bc the best friend conflict storylines make me anxious sometimes lol

flushed away: oh my god dont at me. some of the characters are so fuckgin annoying and some of the humor is just so much but i rly did like the worldbuilding and storyline. stupid posh ass rat was rly cool actually. also yet another mafia/gang violence plot in childrens media why is that so funny when ur a kid god

spirit: GREAT MUSIC GREAT STORY! i think the way the story goes like, its Better to be told with regular horses and narration rather than talking horses,,,, but my dumb whimsical child ass just didnt latch onto that style as much as the talking animal movies

shrek 2: rly good tbh all the new characters introduced are interesting and entertaining to watch, but i mostly remember it for i need a hero and human shrek. didnt rly hit the same mark as the first :/

httyd 2: another great movie with another great twist but it almost felt like too much at once for my little brain to handle. overloaded me with gay emotion 

--

megamind: i love everything it stands for i just never saw it until like a year ago so its not that dear to my heart

kung fu panda: not my style of humor, i saw it once and can hardly remember it but i feel like the plot was wholesome and cute

the croods: so funny and good, ive seen it many times actually. but some of the humor just isnt my thing (its, well, crude, which also took me like 5 yrs to get that joke,)

bee movie: was pleasantly surprised the first time i watched it??? it was pretty good and it did kinda make fun of itself so idk why its so cringe to ppl. barry b benson entertained me unironically

chicken run: i saw it once when i was very young and it just didnt resonate with me also claymation most of my childhood terrified me

wallace and gromit: same as chicken run

--

entire never saw it tier: dotn hate me i just dont have a lot of time on my hands. i know i will be oppressed into watching peabody and sherman within the week and i accept the charges

--

monsters vs. aliens: someone got it for me on dvd and i hated it so much. its not even that bad its just a me thing like for some reason the part where the lady becomes a giant during her wedding or w/e was just like. the worst nightmare i could imagine i hated it and it made me scared to get married bc i thought that could happen to me. also none of the main cast is charming to me one of thems a bug and i have a bug phobia so i could never rly get thru it im sorry but i coudltn do it

madagascar 2: alex backstory was kinda good but the rest was forgettable for me

madagascar 3: visually kinda cool but. :/// felt really off compared to the previous movies, like an obvious cash grab. i mean who could forget the constant polka dot afro circus song advertisements

shrek 3: again mostly just remember it for the frog dad dying ,,,

shrek 4: i only saw it like 5 months ago for the first time. fiona being a warrior in an alternate timeline or w/e (if that was real and not a fever dream) was the only semi tolerable part for me

penguins of madagascar: the first few minutes with them as babies was cute the rest i physically could not keep my attention on. i dont remember anything else im sorry

[star-puff]

i just LOVE the fact that he has long hair.. I LOVE GUYS WITH LONG HAIRDJJSJE can’t wait to get him and put him in my teapot😎 HAHA pls don’t be scared to ascend worlds!! it’s rlly not that bad? i leveled up to ar 54... frighteningly getting closer to ar 55 helpjdjd

AND FINALLY TOO JFC- i’m that person who will pull for new characters that i want but don’t have the materials to ascend them?? MY PROCRASTINATION IS SO BAD PLSDJJD I NEVER FARM- but that’s not the case for baal! (i’m lying😟 i only have the amethyst crystals? gemstones? idk??? and some of the handguards... i only have ONE crown.. yeah i’m totally ready for baal) razor will always be my one and only <3 on my profile he’s the only character i’m showing LMAO i’m so proud of his damage😌

OKAY SO ABT THE EVENT BANNER... on my sec acc, i pulled sayu on a single wish, AND THEN on my other one (i like making new accs okay leave me ALONE) i pulled keqing?? and on my main acc i got xinyan and i think ningguang? (i already had them so now i have xinyan c1 and ningguang c3! does anyone want them LMAO) as for my primos, i actually have 3194! i finally stopped being lazy and explored inazuma, did the spiral abyss, did world quests, did commissions, all that stuff.. i have 19 wishes😎 not a lot but it’s cool! that’s how much i had when i pulled for kazuha and xiao! usually my second pulls turn out to be rlly good!! (i rlly recommend using a luck subliminal before pulling!! that’s how i got so lucky hehe- but i was RLLY lucky when i got xiao and kazuha since i didn’t use one)

i also use diona!! rn she’s not doing so good since i haven’t used her AT ALL- but she’s at c3 so😔 i’m sorry bennett ilysm!! i’m pretty sure some ppl r gonna manage to make dps kokomi possible tbh- like how they made barbara a dps?? i’m still gonna try to get her idc i love her design COME HOME KOKOMI PSPSPSPSP

yes i did do the seelie event! i picked the purple one because.. hello?? it’s pretty?? not to mention i can imagine it as razor next to my xiao-

(y did u cross out ‘future’?? don’t cross it out ur definitely gonna get hu tao🙄 also i’m SORRY THAT I TALK A LOT I HOPE U DONT MIND)

- 🤍

HHHHHH i think i need to go emergency artifact farming huhu i am seriously unprepared for the world level increase T.T also my artifact drop luck is literal shit JFKWLFK is it so hard to get a good pale flame flower around here TT.TT (also i need to go mora leyline farming HAHAH im so broke this is so sad for me)

your dedication to razor is admirable djkadksk but good luck on baal!! im not gonna be pulling for the next few banners cause i'm saving up for the hu tao banner that will come in the Distant future but i hope u enjoy our resident electro archon 😌😌

oooo that's about how many primos i have (sans a few crystals that my dear mutual friend gave me for a grad gift huhu i love her)! i haven't done spiral abyss yet since . well . [looks at my ar] . but we will get to it i promise JFJWKFK. and oo do you have any recs for luck subliminals :o it seems i only ever get the characters i Don't want T.T c3 diona .... 😭😭

"KOKOMI COME HOME PSPSPSP" JDJSKDLQ HELPP 😭😭 i can't wait for those videos to come out where theyre like "bullying the pyro flower with dps kokomi" LMAOOO. and omg good choice on the purple 😌

HHHH I SURE HOPE I GET HU TAO ... I WILL BE HEARTBROKEN IF I DONT SJSKFKWK I WANT C1 .... I WANT C1 HU TAO SO BAD 😭😭😭 im skipping out on Three (3) of the new character banners to get her she better come home T_T i'm pretty sure i will be dyinf in uni by then so mihoyo give her 2 me as a little sanity reward .... 💔💔💔 AND AHAHAA NOOO i rly like how much u send in hehe it makes me feel like a friend :> a trusted confidante if u will

DID U SEE THE 2.1 UPDATES THO OMG .... LA SIGNORA !!!!!!!

[juni-ravenhall]

my opinions on mistfall!

under a cut bc spoilers and/or not everyone wants to read :D 

overall experience: 

its fun that there IS a sso cartoon now even if its not exactly amazing quality, and im happy to see if there will be more series or movies after this. it was fun to watch and see sso things in cartoon form too and i wish that we had more already (of sso animation in general). imagine if there had been a ssl cartoon? i also kept thinking throughout this, that it wouldn’t be hard for me myself to make an animated series with around the same length episodes and in a similar quality to this (aside from voice acting and music production), which made me feel a little inspired.

favourite scene:

skye taking photos of blaze and hanging out

positive points: 

i like the background art a lot, i think the style of it, and the colour schemes, helps give the series a specific vibe that fits for an sso series in my opinion. 

i like the concept art (i assume) illustrations which we saw in the recipes and other posts on sso ig, i think it looks a lot better than the characters in the series, but thats normal for concept art!!

the music is really good quality (whether or not its your taste, the quality is good) which is ofc bc its sso - theres already good music and not something they only did for the cartoon but something they care about in all of the starstable media. 

i think skye is a nice character (despite the series’ overall low quality writing) and i like her design. i also think rania’s cartoon design (visually) is cute.

skye and rania being a teensy bit gay (minus points for sso if they dont end up really gay in later canon)

i like that blaze wasnt actually like... mean or anything to skye, and i like that shes a mare since typical stories like this usually have stallions. but i just like that there wasnt really any “ooh difficult horse” things between skye and blaze in the current time of the story, blaze actually was sweet to her most the time. blaze seemed pretty charming whenever there wasnt “omg fire” drama. 

the animation itself (not meaning the details of the drawings or scene timing, just the actual frame by frame / puppet movements) was fine! not amazing, but absolutely fine.

points i have constructive criticism for, which doesn’t mean that i expected more from the series, but that we’re all allowed to discuss the quality and our opinions of media regardless of the target audience, budget, etc:

the writing was childish and rushed - this is not to be rude, but a matter that affects a lot of “media for girls / kids”, and a topic talked a lot about by Lauren Faust (creator of the FiM reboot of MLP) who wanted to show that a show about rainbow ponies “for little girls” didn’t have to be badly written, and could be engaging and interesting. if you watch the older MLP cartoons and compare to the first season of FiM (where Faust was still on the team) you can see a huge difference in quality of the storytelling, characterisation, etc. Mistfall, so far, did not subvert any expectation in the quality of what typical “cartoons for girls” are like, and is reminiscent of stuff like “The Ranch” (french horse cartoon) which imo is so bad that its hard to watch. (and ofc... that goes for a lot of “cartoons for girls / kids”, but doesn’t have to be like that.) in order to improve on this, the writer has to study more on storytelling and study from better writers.

on the topic of being rushed: no, it’s not an excuse that the episodes are short: - you have to ADAPT your storytelling and writing to the length of the episodes, not do a bad job and blame the episode length. being able to adapt to different types of media is a necessary skill if that’s what you work with. this comes down to proper planning and structuring the story and writing in a way that works for the length of the episodes. i don’t think that was overall done well here (at times it was okay), and bc of that, it feels rushed and has exposition thrown in your face instead of being shown through better storytelling. the classic thing with exposition is “show, don’t tell”. this is what the writers/directors should study, or pay more attention to. 

the timing (length of shots, length of scenes, or parts of shots, etc) was rly bad at times and overall unimpressive - this comes down to the skill of directors and editors. to improve this they have to study more on the topic. bad timing and pacing can really ruin a good scene or a good story and make it feel disconnected and hard to immerse in for the audience.

the artstyle of characters and horses is fine at times, but appears very low quality at others (skye’s childhood scene really bothered me bc her kid-self had really badly drawn eyes in my opinion). this, like everything else on this list, is ofc something that appears in almost every single “cartoon for girls” that ever existed. to improve on this, most likely it’s not a problem with the artists but with the budget and the production timeline (allowing the artists more time to produce better quality art and animation), and it can also be a problem with the art direction, if the art directors aren’t very skilled or experienced (i don’t say that they aren’t, im just giving examples of what could cause these problems.)

the character design for all characters that aren’t skye, rania, or blaze was very lacking. none of the not-main-3 characters looked interesting or fun to look at, they looked very dull and like the most boring NPCs you could think of. even though its understandable that the mainest-main characters would have the most interesting designs, that doesn’t mean everyone else has to look that boring. this is an issue with art direction or character design. i think most likely there was just very little time (equals money) put into designing the other characters.

the horse design could be improved for a cartoon that focuses on horses this much. like, horses are a big part of the selling point here, so make sure that their designs and art/animation is good. at times even blaze looked awkward and uninteresting, as did the other horses.

“alonso” looks nothing like sso alonso and i don’t like that they used his character if it’s not going to have anything to do with him. they should have given this character a different name if they wouldn’t make him seem like he had anything to do with the sso character aside from being a male ranger. (also in the game he’s like 22 or something, skye is 15...?)

why did they add a “he’s cute” dumbass fucking stupid hetero comment for literally no reason other than adding a dumbass fucking stupid hetero comment?

considering that they “can’t confirm whether a sequel is happening or not”, it seemed very meh to throw in druid cult magic stuff and not really connect to it and now the series ended? you would have expected to find out more about the cloaked people, the runes, the magic that the ranger guy did, and blaze’s magic in general, and skye herself, why her mom is “a witch”.... thats a lot to throw in while saying that you can’t say if there’s a sequel coming to answer all those questions. (it wouldn’t have been a criticism from me if they said “we’re working on season 2″ or “there will be a comic book that continues the story” or anything that told us that these questions, in this particular iteration of a story in jorvik, will actually be answered. - and i assume they ARE working on the continuation of the story, but i dont agree with that they’re not upfront about it, when they left so many questions unanswered.)

at times rania’s blindness was handled stupidly and i think they should have gotten more consultation from actual people with visual impairment, but i think its still good to HAVE a blind character in the main cast and that it’s not a big dramatic story thing but just an everyday thing. at some points it was fine though; and i personally don’t think the scene with rania being able to see blaze was necessarily a problem - because - a lot of blind ppl can see sharp contrasts in light and dark, and this seemed relatively realistic to me when blaze is on fire. (however, the way it was drawn as if she could see the whole shape of blaze and skye could be criticised for sure, and makes it feel more like “i can see because of magic” and not “i can see bc THIS MARE IS ON FIRE”). 

personal opinion which i said before, but i don’t think rania���s voice fits her at all, and it’s not the voice actor’s fault (i’m sure they’re lovely) but the casting and the directors. from the sso character, rania would seem a lot more lively, quick and adventurous, and not as calm and gentle as she appeared here. she seemed a lot too sort of motherly or just adult, instead of an adventurous teen who runs off on her own to do whatever she feels like. compare in-game rania going “MC, thats a jorvik wild!!!” and alonso going “stop talking nonsense” (paraphrased), to Mistfall rania going “jorvik wilds are really rare...” (calm, sort of disinterested, doesnt seem like she cares that much about adventures)

the voice acting overall was meh. i see this as a direction problem, not an individual voice actor problem (and the writing didnt help - it’s hard to provide good quality acting with a poor script unless you can just toss the script aside and improv, if you have good actors). it felt childish and uninteresting at most points and generic low quality for “cartoons for girls”. from a voice acting perspective i think skye had the best result. anyway, the way to improve this is for the director in charge of voice acting to not direct the actors to perform in this childish manner. (again, refer to cartoons with better writing and better voice acting, that have a very similar target audience.)

ok, i think that was everything that i wanted to write about for now, might think of more later lol

[matoitech]

12, 19, 36, and 44 for the oc ask meme !

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

oooo i like so many ppls ocs lol i love seeing my friends ocs and my mutuals ocs! it makes me :) to see them all and see them on my dash, i love seeing ppl make their own characters and be so passionate abt them! i love seeing ur dnd groups ocs they all seem rly cool, and i love seeing mj @gaysoups ocs (esp love chungy chungy fucking rules) 

19.  Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

i talk a lot abt blue so i’m gonna choose another..  i rly like pose he was with me back b4 i transed my gender so its like he transitioned with me :) even tho he has a dif gender than me since shes bigender, he transmasc’d too! i love gem too, his partner, i made them to be a happy loving couple and theyre important to me for that.. just some cute bi4bi t4ts. im rly proud of their designs too they were meant to look good together and they do!

36.  Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

i dont i think! i used to w my friends when i was in like junior high lol so i HAVE before, a long time ago

44.  Something you like about your OCs in general

im proud of how much work i put into them in general even fun ones i made on a whim and i like making the characters i want to see yknow. its nice to scratch that same sort of itch as seeing chars in media have the same shit as u or the shit u want to see, but u can do it w ur own ocs! very fun. i have a lot of love and attachment to them and have a lot of fun designing them

[butterscotch-brigade]

ive been thinking abt all the edgy creepypasta ideas i had when i was like 12 so heres an assortment of the ones i vividly remember wanting to write but didnt (thankfully)

i was rly into pokepastas PARTICULARLY hypnos lullaby (which, side tangent, is still rly good imo the best creepypastas r the ones that are short and just open ended enough for u to draw ur own conclusions). but ANYWAY i wanted to write a story abt what hypno does to the ppl he kidnaps and for SOME fucking reason my hc was that he ATE them???? and ik hypno doesnt even have a mouth but i drew edgy fanart of him w a big sharp toothed grin bc i was like "oooohh what if THATS the reason he doesnt show his mouth???" and it was. something alright

SPEAKING of pokepastas. i always thot sableye had a creepy design (which i still do but i LIKE that its creepy and think its also cute too) so i desperately wanted to write smth creepy abt it. so i looked in its pokedex and it mentioned how they eat gems BUT. theyre also MADE of gems. so my edgy 12 year old brain was like "OH MY GODDDD WHAT IF......CANNIBALISM" and i tried to draw fanart of it but my drawing skills werent that good yet so i gave up skskdkdk

the last pokepasta idea i had was one where like.....a person would be playing a Haunted Pokémon Cartridge with their friend BUT!!! the game would only target the person playing, the person watching wouldnt be able to see all the creepy shit happening. so the player would be like "DUDE HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKIN POKEMON IS COVERED IN BLOOD" and the friend would have been like "huh???" and i thot this was SUCH a good idea for some reason until i found this one youtuber who read pokepastas and gave his thoughts and critiques at the end and he read a pasta that had the EXACT same concept i had in my mind and he said it was shitty. so bc i internalized everything ppl i liked on the internet said i took that as "oh ok ig its a stupid idea then" and yknow what? they were right

i stopped playing toontown at this point but i figured bc a lot of video game creepypastas are abt childhood games i wanted to make one abt a game from my childhood (even tho i was. still a child). so i wanted to make this toontown creepypasta where like. the games icon would be mad at me and then when i played the game i was in donalds dock (which i thot was the perfect setting for creepy shit bc it was foggy ig???) and i SPECIFICALLY remember wanting to write a scene where like. my toon got into a fight w a cog and they did this attack called "glower power" which was basically supposed to be a play on the term "glaring daggers at someone" bc the cog would just shoot knives out of their eyes at u and it looked like this

and normally in game the knives dont actually hit u but my Big Idea was gonna be that the knives fuckin. just EMBEDDED themselves in my toon???? and like my toon didnt bleed hyperrealistic blood or anything BUT. it would just walk around w the knives stuck inside of it which is SO fuckin funny now that i think abt it again. like can u imagine playing Disney's Toontown Online and just seeing a fuckin toon walk around w knives just casually buried into its character model. anyway idk what else i wanted to do for that one

so the last idea i can remember is a fuckin. sonic creepypasta. and i had JUST found out what a yandere was so i wanted to make a story where amy rose was a yandere who kidnapped sonic and broke his legs so he couldnt run away. out of all of these im the most glad i didnt write this one in particular

thats all i can remember i will update if i can recall any more

[magical-agatha]

i like sword art online fatal bullet somehow despite it doing so many things wrong and even more things that make me personally annoyed. mainly just like. kirito. and like. the inscrutable unbalanced gameplay. and the terrible menus and general failure at telling you what you need to do and where to do it. but the bits i like i guess i really really like. like, if u can ignore the terrible qualities, its a game that rly wants to let you like, put yourself in the world, it has a lot of escapist qualities and i guess its rly like, an isekai game? it lets u have an isekai adventure without getting hit by a truck. i made a self insert whos an idealised version of myself (tho shes missing the muscles and fat), and im using her to have adventures and flirt with girls and make friends. its not a good game but i guess ive figured out how to make it fun for myself by investing in the characters i like and rewriting context. like, kirito is annoying and sucky but he also just feels like someone ud meet in an mmo. every character feels like that actually. kirito sucks but he's also like, 'that guy i met in an mmo who doesn't realise he's made a polycule and also he adopted an ai and treats his mmo marriage to his mmo wife as tho its a real marriage and she does too and they seem genuinely happy and loving to each other?' like hes annoying but he doesnt seem like a bad person or even an asshole. i havent seen the anime. but he just seems like a str*ight person who loves his wife and wants to be friends with you. i dont want to be his friend but i also dont totally hate him. idk, i think im rewriting him a bit in my head so i like him more but even so.

i think i also like it bc im an mmo playing dweeb who is kinda lonely and met her girlfriend thru an mmo which we play together a lot. so im enjoying this story about reuniting with an old friend in an mmo and spending time with her bc its relateable?? also it helps that im 90% sure u can actually romance her over the course of the game and develop a relationahip. and so far most of the characters have felt rly fleshed out and real. so like. im expecting that to be done well?? im not playing this for the gameplay but for the story i guess? but the gameplay is still cool and fun even if its deeply flawed. its. third person shoot the gun but you have a grappling hook, dark souls roll, and mmo abilities. you explore dungeons and fight robots and other 'players' (pve disguised as pvp') and you do it with your fake mmo friends and your fake mmo child and its like. fun and terrible at the same time. like its so easy to get stuck in a death spiral and run out of ammo but it's also like. pretty fun. the companion ai is pretty solid. not gonna astound or win awards but like. its decent. itll get you through things. they hold their own and feel like team mates. you get annoyed when they make mistakes and excited when they do well and worried when they go down. its a decent simulation of what an mmo actually feels like. i like it.

i think im just good at seeing nuance in game design/quality. a bad game can have rly good qualities that still make it enjoyable. and maybe also its like. something i like bc i went into it expecting a shitfest and was pleasantly surprised to find a game with a relateable story, characters who feel real, and like, innovative gameplay. i try rly hard to approach games as a game designer and examine them and try to understand why the designers made them the way they did. i want to learn from every game i play and i like seeing how different games approach similar things and take inspiration from each other.

the other thing too is. it plays really weird like, its stepped pretty far outside the shooter box. and theres clearly a lot of thought put into making it fun and interesting and finding the balance between like, skill based gameplay and a power fantasy. despite that it still has some rly glaring flaws but you can still see that the ppl who made this were sincerely trying to make a good game and genuinely cared about what they were making. the story is rly unique for a game to. its a game about playing a different kind of game. its a singleplayer rpg about playing an mmorpg. its neat. they rly tried and i appreciate it.

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[alterlifes-a]

tag muns you want to know better; repost - don’t reblog.

What inspired you to try/create that muse/s: well , if you’ve been with me long enough then you know that tooru started out as an AU ! o.ikawa t.ooru, where instead of attending s.eijou , he went to s.hiratorizawa ! to be honest , i kind of just wanted to try my hand at writing that kind of thing ? it was the very first time i had made a tumblr rp blog , so i had no idea that people rp different verses of the same character on one blog !! i originally rp’d on deviantart , and it was very commonplace to have different blogs for different verses ... i had over 70 rp blogs on there and most of them were literally the same 2 characters but in different AUs LMAO ... so imagine my surprise when i saw people rp’ing different AUs on one blog ... RP’ing multiple muses on one blog ... !! but i kinda just stayed with my iteration instead of playing canon ! kawa anyway , since i didn’t really see the point in starting over . as tooru developed more , though , i began to use him as a venting tool because this was a part of my life where i was really depressed . but as time grew on and i eventually made him into an OC , he became a much happier character . he really is my best friend ; he’s been there for me through it all , and even though he’s just fictional , i really owe him a lot for helping me out during rough times .

What is inspiration for that muse/s: well , currently , a lot of things ... lots of music , japanese culture + religion , and also my own experiences . in general , i have a p.interest board for him , so ... maybe you could say i draw inspiration from that , too ! i also rly enjoy the band MILI . their songs really fit tooru , like ‘ bathtub mermaid ’ . i’ve also been listening to hello , again and am planning on drawing something based on it for him ( + the song’s prequel , “ goodbye ” ) . i mainly tend to daydream while listening to songs , so ... yeah . as for characters who serve as inspiration for tooru ... well , i think that’s an artist meme , so i might just fill it in in lieu of answering this properly lol ... but two i can think of off the top of my head are leon from f.ire e.mblem e.choes and n.eferpitou from h.xh ! 

Thread/AU that made you really happy: B.NHA AU ... !! i’m hyperfixating sm on that one ... idk , a lot of planning and plotting goes into it , esp since a lot of my mutuals are in the fandom . in particular , i love love love the story i’ve created with @noquirk . i literally cannot envision a more perfect plot for tooru in this verse . heck , it’s literally my main go - to timeline when i draw / write for it . tooru is , quite literally , not very much in this AU without deck .

Something really special on your wishlist: sh ... more ships ... ships to draw and animate and make animatics to ... also i need to get my butt into gear and finish my JRPG AU group lol .

Something you are looking for in short future for your muse: blease tooru help me get thru the school year ... also i have some animatics in the back burner so i’m looking forward to getting those done !

Share something related to your muse!: his canon story , in parallel motion , deals with existentialism and alternate universes . ultimately , it’s a story that serves as a physical manifestation of my own struggle with depression , and while it’s sombre in tone , i want it to tell whoever’s reading it , “ you matter . ” it’s why tooru is placed into so many marginalized groups ; he’s fat and trans and biracial and bi and suffers from bpd + depression + anxiety but he’s a good person through it all ... his story is tragic because he’s not allowed to exist and will be forgotten when he dies , but his existence impacts so many other characters’ lives ... it’s a butterfly effect kind of thing . because you exist , you’ve made so many peoples’ lives better . and i understand it’s rough and i understand depression + sucky real life aspects try to convince you otherwise , but just ... think about it . there’s an alternate universe where , because you don’t exist , something huge was probably impacted . and even on a smaller , more intimate scale --- if you hadn’t existed in another life , then one of your friends might not be here . they might not be as happy as they are now , because you make them happy . life can be awful . but it’s wonderful and beautiful , too . that’s what i want tooru to be to others . someone to look up to and relate to , and someone who tells you , “ it’s okay ! ”

What do you think about character’s design/how do you came up with this: he’s ... kinda generic LOL mainly cause he’s based off of o.ikawa looks - wise due to his origin ... but part of his looks also derivate from an old ask blog muse i had :

i just really like that bangs - over - one - eye hairstyle ngl ... also i have no idea how / when his hair became maroon - brown since o.ikawa’s hair is chestnut brown , but ... yeah . also have no idea when he gained red eyes HDKJSFS,,,, i find fangs appealing on a character though , so that’s why he has fangs and does the :3c ... honestly i think i kinda just slapped together what i like in a design and put it on him , so even though he may look like an NPC ( lol ) , he’s still appealing in my eyes .

What your muse taught you: how to love being alive ... ( i’ve actually written an essay for a class about how he’s helped me through depression haha ... he means a lot to me , can you tell ? )

What is roleplay for you: all of you are awful and yet here i am anyway so really this says more about me than anything else .

Just say something nice about other mun!: @onfaith you are my ANGEL you mean sm to me and i wish u all the best with your studies  /  @tikkvn i love u sm cass ur an amazing person n a wonderful existence never forget that  /  @juuheart notay is my fave bleach chara also ur art is so cute  /  @wuvlite if i die all my money goes to u so u can keep drawing holy SHIZ ur art is #inspiration  /  @queznak ur very interesting and charismatic as a person  !!!  /  @uzvisen idk how to spell ur url this took me 3 tries but also ilysm  /  @conhnhaketon i also cant spell ur url but i hope ur doing well n ur eid was good , ik we’ve both been busy but i would live for u  /  @quirkthief ur one of my fave ppl i will forever tag u in shibes also i’ve supported u in u saying afo was hot even when he looked ugly n now i get to watch everyone who made fun of u writhe bc he is rly rly hot hahaha  /  @noquirk you’re so talented pls never stop what ur doing  /  @aerve you’re rly cool !!! 100% support u in everything u do ! >:0  /  @starbooms aries ur so creative ugh ... ur mind !!!!!! ik we don’t talk much but ur v fun  /  @bendsair i forget what other blogs ur on but chris ur the coolest #TalkRomania2Me  /  @creatied we don’t talk much either but ur graphics r so aesthetically appealing wowzers !!  /  @daimnas i’m wuv you amari !! also my french sucks but uhhh comment ca va ( i’m too lazy to find the accented ‘c’ dsfhi ) ??  /  @soarsun i’ve only known u for a few weeks but if anything happened to u i would kill everyone on this website n then myself  /  @quirkgifter nanners is the coolest n nana is the best grandma in town  /  @natsutodoroki im so jealous u got a canon url as ur rp url LMAO but also ur rly cool n fun even tho we dont talk too frequently !  /  @lechors​ LINNEA I WILL DIE FOR U RIGHT HERE RIGHT N---  /  @ YOU READING THIS BC I’M ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP : YOU’RE AWESOME AND GREAT !

Tagged by: stole it from @queznak Tagging: whomstever 

[arcenergy]

ALL FOR ARCETRI. BICHT

no

What is your OC’s favorite color? deep reds/oranges! 

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? she presses flowers and keeps old journals that she writes in and books

What kind of things is your OC allergic to? she isnt allergic to anything

What kind of clothing does your OC wear? loose and comfy clothing 

What is your OC’s first memory? adaia singing her a dalish lullaby 

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? favorite: dog least favorite: human 

What element would your OC be? fire

What is your OC’s theme song? ask me later and ill send u a link of arcetri’s yt playlist 

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? i have a few faceclaims in my tabris aes tag but my voiceclaim for her is 2B from nieR: automata 

What deadly sin would best represent your OC? pride 

What are your OC’s hobbies? writing/reading 

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? she isnt hot headed but she’s really impulsive and spontaneous 

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? gender: feminine aligned nb sexuality: bi race: elven technically but if this was a human/modern au then mixed 

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? she LOVES sugary shit and hates bland food in general but isnt a picky eater bc she cant cook for shit and has learned to accept any food that isnt gonna kill her 

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? dog because dog

What does your OC smell like? weed

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? she’s the warden commander and im assuming either a.) the court pays her or b.) taxes fund the wardens or c.) wardens are independent and fund themselves and get paid based on tier/time spent in the wardens i guess. she never wanted to be a warden but she just kinda accepted it.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? greatest fears: being alone weaknesses: not being open/dishonest strength: generous, kind, willing to speak her mind/fight for what’s ‘right’ 

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? i dont rly think she has a fave song but in a modern au she’d like rap/rock

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? vine. 

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? personal Issues. many. pet peeves she hates snobby ppl 

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? kid who walks in 5 mins late and eats sun chips as loudly as possible (me)

What is a random fact about your OC? gay

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? her philosophy is protect her family/friends no matter the cost 

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? her personality was huge sarcastic asshole and i just went thru the character creator and found what i liked 

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? important: alistair least important: dog

What kind of childhood did your character have?  a lonely one 

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? she goes and rocks on her heels and bites her lip 

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “died as she lived” 

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? she never wanted to get married but she got married (twice) and does Not want kids bc she’s afraid of fucking up 

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? traumatic: the wedding favorite: marrying alistair 

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? the alienage

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?  she’d kill someone for a variety of reasons and have b4

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? she’s forced to attend dances bc she’s Popular(TM) and wants to be in the bg but ends up being the center of attention 

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? living in memories and constantly worried. constantly the worst scenarios. 

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? she’d sacrifice anything and mostly anyone for the protection of her friends/family

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? kill dragons?

What would your character do with a million dollars? give it away to the less fortunate 

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? yeah

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? she’ll go to a tavern and wear the same clothes and go w her Squad 

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? she eventually snaps and starts yellin @ ppl. or just kill em. 

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? Many.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? “fuk u shem”

How does your character react/ accept criticism? doesnt care unless if it’s from the Squad(TM) 

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? she’d eat it and then be like “it was eh” 

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? nah

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? no

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? good

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? YES

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? she’d try to ignore it until she just falls over

[aitian]

8/23/20 3:02am, sunday

think i have been going abt the way i talk & interact w ppl wrong. feels shitty that as an adult i am still so repressed. a lot has to be unspoken bc maybe i dont have words that other ppl want to hear. & otherwise i had always been scared to say what i mean. thinking today abt what it might be like to be honest w ghosts. maybe they would materialize but i wont try.

we would go to stone valley. him & i. somehow its hard to admit thats who has lived in my head for so long. i really don’t much remember what he looks like, only photos. or that feeling of being so enchanted. the heartbreak, numb, is still familiar. i think its on my mind bc i reread ganbare nakamura kun yesterday & the furious rewriting of truth inside the head (is it just me? they couldn’t.. wouldn’t... would they?) made me feel so sad. i was thinking when he feels rejected on the school trip, when hirose seems to enjoy the company of everyone else, nakamura goes to the aquarium alone anyway to see the cute octo. & he has this happy face. & he finds tako & its so cute & he becomes so frustrated, upset. of course things would end up this way. & thats where my story ended. but hirose appears, paid the entrance fee & tells nakamura he is funny & charming, & reveals an intimate moment of i would rather be with u. 

the wind would blow across the water. my hair would be pulled up into a messy bun, or maybe i would just clip back the sides. i might pick him up, but i would have to practice the route. he would say, woah... you’ve changed. i might say... im not sure. is that okay? & there’s no way to say no. so we would end up by the reservoir, & i might ask why he agreed to meet me, or he might ask why i wanted to see him. i might tell him how i felt that year. how i was so upset to watch him graduate. i guess i think he would be uncomfortable around me. & i might tell him i dont have any expectations. i just wanted to see him again.

writing & rewriting endings (continuations) is a strange strategy i don’t know how to feel about. i thought deeply about it first reading eve ewing’s poetry guided by hui ying. i guess most happy stories feel like rewritings already. like there’s what an author who lives a lovelier life would expect to happen to them. but for me it wouldn’t happen that way. & that’s why i find it difficult to rewrite my own stories- because they wouldn’t happen that way. & i want them to be anything but real so bad. the real story is much more mundane & painful. so to rewrite my stories into mythology or whatever else carries a lot of weight. like, of course representations are easily imagined to be perfect, full of vigor & triumph & diversity & heroes & villains & lessons but it doesn’t make sense to me to deform my past into smth worth ingesting. its yucky to share the dirty & ugly feelings i have had as well as a sanitized retelling. maybe i just want to tell a story full of monsters.

ive started drawing a little but even that imagining of a representation is icky to me. i guess thats why i think i can only draw myself- bc im not a representation. that my image can literally be a version of me flattened onto a page. & thats different from designing characters to fit an ideal image for a story. i guess i am very unideal for my tragedy lmao. i will draw tmrw.

some updates abt the summer: - hate texting/msging ppl. did it rarely but somehow felt like a lot - sad that i don’t know what ppls lives are like who i care abt & that is a shameful contradition bc clearly i dont care if i dont know & dont want to ask but i dont want to ask bc that already embodies the contradiction of not knowing but wishing i knew - rly lonely sometimes. like now writing abt him & regretting how i have gotten to this point in my now 20′s without building the beginnings of any future that has love in it, friends, partners, comrades, children, guardians, mentors - looking forward to umibe no etranger movie i guess. tbh i rly dont like the manga characters but the art is cute i guess & voice acting from the trailer is pretty precious. been reading a lot of bl these few days & i think it is the most interesting part of my life. cis women can write these dramatic narratives abt what is feels like to be a queer boy in love. it is so easy & pleasurable to abuse imagined beings. i have to write vestigial bodies this year.  - alice is home this weekend. we celebrated dads burthday today. i think 56. mom and dad both say they are not old, & alice was quick to agree. i think it is convenient for her to not have to see them every day & think abt their futures. alice made drinks & i made spocy ramen around midnight & i think this is the type of carefree activity i miss indulging in w friends, ppl who i want to eat well & be happy & see their beautiful faces & talk abt everything w. friends is such a bad, generic word. - school starts in two weeks i think - idk what else. had a period of rly enjoying the sunrise & running outside, but i am back in the slump. its so difficult to wake up when i dont know why i would want to do that shit. lol. its always not so difficult anymore once i am awake but i realized i am so upset when i am tired, & im just used to living with those feelings until i pass out. i dont need more than 8 hrs a day to feel happy but its difficult to stop the slump from making its nest - pastimes r watching one piece (im on episode 500+ & i cannot multitask when reading subs), reading bl, playing botw, playing w myself, & eating i guess. i also read sula in one day bc i wanted to prove to myself that i still knew how. obsessive. comforts & pleasures > coping. our brains r wired so weak by scarcity relations. & also idk... adhd & ocd tendencies + anxious obsessive & depressive obsessive.

goals for the end of this year i think: - 80 pgs of lianhuanhua type graphic novel - vestigial bodies essay on virtual pleasure & bodily rejection (pain, deterioration, abuse, freakishness) - maybe centered on some media? not sure yet.. thinking abt video games & comics as virtual life where representations replace bodily function, distance pleasurable simulated outcomes w the body that produces unpleasurable irl outcomes - visual novel in febuilder if i figure out what i want to do with gameplay. - learn blender. maybe construct one scene

[hazardblocks]

so im gonna go off abt tsumugi for a sec

also this is gonna be long but like mobile doesn't let u do the keep reading thing so ill just rb spam over this post so only the ppl who unfortunately scroll thru my blog will find it. spoilers.

spoilers for all of v3

-tsumugi shirogane btw. i am indeed defending her bc i kin her

-this isn't defending her actions btw.............

-ok 1. yes her design doesn't rly go with her talent. i can acknowledge this. but bruh i saw this One Guy ranking designs (i forgot his name ..... this is a petty tumblr post im not gonna go find it) and he was like "tsumugi's design says nothing about her personality. it's easily in the worst tier it's so bad" and im like bruh................her whole thing is that she has no personality. like she has no identity out of cosplay/fiction. she sees herself as so normal and Plain™ like... she literally points out how plain her design is 948576678483 times ingame as if 2 bait us into thinking she's more suspicious. her design has no personality bc there's nothing 2 say. also to me she has a more mature body type/lower voice @ the end implying that she's an older woman so that shit crazy, but i will die on my pedestal of loving ministarfruit's content bc like.. them describing tsumugi as "[having] no self to sacrifice" like that is so perfect and accurate, from how i understand her character

-idk what we're even talking about anymore so let's talk abt the whole rantaro thing. v3's story is a mess of confusion but i think the pregame section is very important. first off, kaito and tsumugi(excluding saihara, who we see just With Us), the characters you'd expect to be the most excited about the kg, are the most prominent characters in the cg of the exisals readying to punt the cast. and they're obviously afraid. yes, you can claim that this is due to the fact that there are big giant robots here, but they're also worried about their circumstances before then. but then comes the question of tsumugi's part in all this. this means that either A, tsumugi adapted very quickly to the failed circumstances, B tsumugi was only made the mastermind after gaining her memories and outfit, or C tsumugi was less afraid of what was happening and more confused as to why it seemed like she was about to be killed for this error. i honestly think that b is the most likely, hear me out.

-for starters, rantaro is the only one that seems to know what's going on- tsumugi shows no indication that she's made an error. even when the cast is about to forget that all of this ever happened, she still appears uncertain and clueless. unless you want to argue that she knew that the player would notice, this doesn't line up with anything but B. plus, she doesn't bring up this actual, canon section in the sixth trial. she doesn't discuss what this means, instead covering up what the player knows by saying that something different happened. that the cast misremembers.

-dont get me started on the fucking cospox. honestly im 100% convinced it's fake. plus im like so tired now but if tsumugi wrote that whole story of v3 then she's not a good mastermind at all. however i do think that compared to monaca and junko, tsumugi is... very different. she's obviously the most mixed feelings mastermind, as with monaca most people hate her guts, and with junko people love and hate her. both very strongly, at the same time. tsumugi probably brought the most despair upon the cast of v3, and the most on the player as well. people always die in danganronpa, it's heartbreaking, but tsumugi left something more. for some people, they hated the ending. for some people, they couldn't figure out shirogane even in the end, because honestly, within her there's nothing to see. even the liar characters like kokichi, you get a structure for him, you get a good grasp on what he's like. throughout all of the game, he was one of the very most prominent and important characters, and what he had to offer went on postmortem. but at the end of the day... no one really knew what tsumugi was like. because outside of danganronpa, she had nothing to say.

-what am i saying anymore. there is no point to this post tsumugi is just more interesting than i think a lot of people make her out to be