#I kind of just want to complain rofl

[solradguy]

There have been a lot of days recently where I'm scrolling through GG tags/feeds and it just isn't fun. I'm too involved, I think; I need to find some other way to distract myself when I'm bored before I explode

[destinyc1020]

I am a fan of her and obviously don't wish any harassment on her, but I think finding excuses to defend her when it comes to this very VALID complain is not it. Like you said, being criticized and attacked is not good, I wished it wasn't the case, BUT it comes with the nature of her job. It's not an excuse to not do anything. You can't excuse her lack of work with black creatives simply because she may be attacked.

the reason why it's an "issue" is because not so long ago Z was so vocal about opening up doors and the lack of opportunities in Hollywood. in late 2021 she said it on the Mrs Tina show, in interviews etc. It's normal that people point out how her words don't match her actions

Exactly 💯

And I agree. I would NEVER tell an actor to turn down a role that's a great opportunity, and that they're perfectly qualified for, JUST because of the potential hate they might receive for it 🙄

What kind of nonsense is that?? 🥴

My thing is, people do what they WANT to do. If someone wants to do smthg hard enough, nothing is going to stop them lol 😆

Like you said, fans start to scratch their heads when the words aren't lining up with the actions. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think Z will be fine. 😊👍🏾 She will eventually work with Black actors and directors on thebig screen. In the meantime......There are roles that she could probably create for herself, or ask her agent to find for her. Chiiiiilllle...James Franco used to just create all kinds of roles for himself like a madman rofl 🤣 Stuff he'd write, produce, film, and act in lol 😆

Where there's a will, there's a way! 😊

[reflective-muses]

i kind of want to separate the loudest muses from this blog and give them their own separate blogs?? kaveh and aventurine are two i constantly have screaming at me for attention and have for several weeks/months.

it's so much work tho. |||orz i may have also hit my limit on gmail to make more linked emails to my main email oops

i've juggled several different blogs at the same time in the past. and i know making them sideblogs has its limitations.

just some contemplations, i suppose... i may end up doing it, just for my own organization, and it'd be better to do so sooner rather than later since it would be less stuff to move over. i've never run a multi-muse blog, so this is my first time.

back in my day most people didn't have multi-muse blogs nor did they interact with them much. -shakes cane and complains about kids in my yard or something-

random 11:30pm thoughts rofl don't mind me. o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

[carnelianwings]

Harvestella Review

For a game I meant to just spend the afternoon on, I ended up playing all afternoon, followed it up with a 4 hour impromptu stream, and now it’s 1 am. So to me, it’s been a fantastic game so far. Definitely not a game you want to rush, as I discovered after dying no less than 4 times in the first 2 chapters alone, but if you take it at a casual pace and don’t actually push your character harder than the game wants you to, you’ll be fine. (I’ll come back to this point later.) Also I should note that I jumped into this game blind knowing that it’s a full game and a farm sim/rpg hybrid and zero knowledge of the staff credits (especially the composer rofl).

Doing a proper detailed review based on the 8 hours I’ve spent playing this today, tucking this behind a cut because good god this got long lol.

tl;dr: Unexpectedly fun, worth trying at least the demo if you’ve played (and enjoyed) Sakuna of Rice and Ruin (it’s very similar in concept and execution except you’re growing more than just rice and it’s a full fledged 3D action RPG instead of 2D beat ‘em up), OST is amazing, it’s just that $60 price tag that’s a little YMMV. Based on the 8 hours I’ve played today, easily an 8/10

Starting with the cons - the biggest one here is the price tag. For the type of game it is, I’m not entirely sure it’s worth the $60 release day price tag. Definitely get it on sale when it happens; it’s definitely worth it at a lower price. At its current price, though, it’s a massive YMMV. I’ll give it some more time to see how the story pans out to decide whether or not it’s worth the price tag - I’ve spent enough years of my life playing Tales to know just because the opening plays all the tropes straight doesn’t mean the rest of the story will too.

Speaking of Tales - despite this being a SqEnix title complete with the Final Fantasy style character designs and look, there’s definitely a few things that scream Tales and Star Ocean in here. Time will tell whether or not how much of those “Hmmmm this doesn’t feel like FF but definitely feels like Tales/SO” vibes pan out.

The biggest win (actually there’s 2) for the game is definitely the OST though. If you loved any of Go Shiina’s contributions to Tales OSTs over the years (especially his contributions to Zestiria/Berseria’s) definitely give the OST a listen. It’s fantastic, it’s amazing, even though it’s not a Tales OST I actually want a copy of it. If this is what we get from Go Shiina parting ways with Bamco Tales Studio, then I’m not going to complain too hard.

The other big win (which I think has been spread around the internet at this point), is the fact you can choose to play as a male, female, or non-binary character. I’m honestly impressed they included this as an option, now all I’m wondering is if the post-game romance options also let me romance any character of any gender, because 8 hours in and I have to say - I kind of have a crush on Aria, and I would be very sad if I can’t romance her post-game just because I opted to play as the female MC. Also just saying I made my female MC with blue hair and eyes before I even saw Aria, so I swear we’re red/blue compatible and just ... let me date her and make her happy *sobs*

Combat is a little “meh” for now, but there’s signs it’ll get better as you unlock new Jobs and gain levels. Despite people saying there’s no dodge/evasion in combat, there is, but it’s a skill you have to learn off of melee classes ... which, if you’ve been around Tales long enough, will sound really familiar. I can definitely say if you’ve played Tales those same skills will help you get pretty far, and being able to equip 3 Jobs with you when you go out exploring and swap between them gives you a lot of flexibility ... kinda like Ludger actually. My biggest gripe is that there’s no healer for now, so you’re really reliant on early foraging for food and whatever you can farm for HP recovery - but at least you can eat food while you’re in combat and whatever you use on yourself also applies to your other party members so you’re not burning through all of your food stores before you get around to renovating the kitchen and you can cook food for better buffs/HP recovery instead of stuffing your face with whatever random herbs/veggies/fruits you’ve foraged/grown. The AI is decent, but you can’t really adjust what they do in combat or their strategy but at least they won’t go half-cocked on what’s essentially a Giganto Monster and get one-shot. It’s a little annoying though if you’re playing as a Mage because this means you have to be the one to open combat and the monsters aggro on you once you get into (casting) range so it’s a little annoying.

As for the farming sim part, it’s pretty standard farm sim, straight out of the f2p microtransaction mobile game playbook. That said, this is a full game so you don’t have to wait for onerous timers to grow your crops, the farming itself is more plant/water/wander off and do your questing/monster smacking/materials gathering and come back to harvest the next day kind of deal. Having played Sakuna of Rice and Ruin (and loved it) I was hoping this would be how it got implemented so I’m satisfied with how that turned out - plus this also scratches that “I want to play a farm sim” itch I get once in a while that leads me to downloading some terrible f2p microtransaction mobile game to play for all of a month before I hit the paywall of “wait 1+ day(s) for thing” and get fed up with it.

As for the general side quests - I highly recommend you do them as they pop up, as they really help you with earning money and gaining exp for leveling. They also show up at the right time for your level/story progress, so it’s definitely a good way to supplement you with what you need to tackle the main story. Plus you get to learn more about the NPCs in the town, and everything seems to point in the general direction of “You really should get to know everyone in town Because This Might Be Plot Important Later”. Oh, and that’s also where I’m getting a lot of the Tales/SO vibes - for all that the overall game world looks bright and shiny and happy, there’s definitely undercurrents of “This is actually a Crapsack World” that wouldn’t be out of place at all in a Tales game, with a few NPCs you encounter that wouldn’t be out of place in an SO game for both aesthetic and world building information they’re dropping. Also they encourage you to enter the various dungeons multiple times, which is a good thing, since that also helps break up the leveling monotony and it doesn’t feel like you’re just grinding monsters for exp.

Overall, it’s a pretty fun game, the characters are engaging, the plot is interesting thus far (even if it’s pretty standard JRPG storytelling) and as a casual-ish game it’s fun. Maybe not worth the $60, but definitely worth getting if you see it on sale.

[sitespeeddetective]

Gun grabber

Please note that Urban Thesaurus uses third party scripts (such as Google Analytics and advertisements) which use cookies. Special thanks to the contributors of the open-source code that was used in this project: and you might like to check out the growing collection of curated slang words for different topics over at Slangpedia. There is still lots of work to be done to get this slang thesaurus to give consistently good results, but I think it's at the stage where it could be useful to people, which is why I released it. Please also note that due to the nature of the internet (and especially UD), there will often be many terrible and offensive terms in the results. Or you might try boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (e.g. View Gun Grabber Products (location in Arkansas, United States, revenue, industry and description. The search algorithm handles phrases and strings of words quite well, so for example if you want words that are related to lol and rofl you can type in lol rofl and it should give you a pile of related slang terms.

The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. Note that this thesaurus is not in any way affiliated with Urban Dictionary.ĭue to the way the algorithm works, the thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms. The official Urban Dictionary API is used to show the hover-definitions. These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms.

That is why I refuse to give them an inch.The Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary. People who want "common sense gun control" don't want anything short of outright bans. Today I had a chance to talk to them in person about a 'common sense gun control' meme that they shared on FB. I thought they were going to hit me with some stats or something but I think I just upset them too much to talk. So I had a conversation with a friend who is openly anti gun and is in love with the 'common sense gun control' line, but never has a real answer as to what that means. I left the area after 5 minutes of awkward silence. Grabber: (takes out phone and starts staring at it. Me: oh, what arbitrary number would make things safer? Kind of takes the good faith out of it when you already said your goal was to ban anything with a magazine. Grabber: well at least there should be a magazine limit. Me: so anything magazine fed should be banned? You have to realize that isn't common sense anymore. Grabber: (clearly mad, thinks for abit) anything that allows for fast reloading. Grabber: anything that makes guns into damn machine guns should be banned! (Getting angry) Grabber: anything that makes it easy to rapid fire bullets. Grabber: well some things should be banned. Do you think if maybe one side stopped trying to ban everything that gun owners would be more open to talk about low cost permits, extending background checks, and stuff of that nature? Me: hey I saw your gun control meme you posted complaining that gun owners don't want "common sense gun control" and ot got me thinking. Today I had a chance to talk to them in person about a "common sense gun control" meme that they shared on FB. Last week, former DNC Congressman Beto O’Rourke announced his intention to go against Governor Greg Abbott in 2022. The Texas gubernatorial election is already getting a bit interesting even though that race is still almost a year away. So I had a conversation with a friend who is openly anti gun and is in love with the "common sense gun control" line, but never has a real answer as to what that means. America’s Top Gun-Grabber Meets An Opponent That Will End His Whole Career.

[rowanaelinn]

Fire on Fire - Chapter Six

this is finally going somewhere! i had to cut this chapter in two otherwise it would have been six thousand words so… sorry for the cut😬

Warning for sucidal thoughts in this chapter.

chapter five // chapter seven

“She did not!” Aelin laughed loudly, still in her nightclothes. “Why do we always miss that?”

“Miss what?” Sam asked as he entered the room, two bowls of cereals in his hands. He gave one to Lysandra and brought two spoons so Aelin could eat in his bowl. Lysandra and Aelin just woke up, it was four in the afternoon and Aelin didn’t eat anything since last night, so she was starving.

Aelin, Lysandra, Nehemia, and Sam might have partied a little too hard last night. So this morning, Aelin and Lysandra decided to stay home. Sam didn’t look happy about Aelin missing class but he didn’t say anything, knowing Aelin’s mind was made. He came back from school an hour ago and woke them up.“Gods, I love these cereals,” she moaned at the taste. Aelin loved food, and it showed on her body. The only good thing about her injury is that now she didn’t have to pay attention to everything she ate to fit in stupid costumes. She might miss dancing but she loved food more.

“I finished the last box, by the way.”

Aelin nodded, making a mental note she’ll have to ask Quinn to go grocery shopping as soon as she could.

“Leave me some, Lys,” Nehemia said as she threw herself on Aelin’s bed. She was glad to have a gigantic bed when the four of them were home, which is almost all the time lately. Nehemia threw her hair behind her shoulder, silently asking her friends to pay attention to them.

“That color suits you, Mia,” Aelin smiled and it was genuine. Nehemia had fresh new braids, they started black but ended in a deep ocean blue. The girl never wanted boring colors in her hair and almost everything suited her. Lysandra and Sam agreed with her, making Nehemia smile arrogantly. But Aelin knew that Nehemia was hiding a real smile behind that.

“Might dye my hair blue to match you,” Aelin said and Nehemia looked thrilled.

“Don’t you dare!” Sam said, turning to Aelin and almost spilling the cereals and milk on her bed. “Your hair is so pretty. Buy a wig but don’t you dare dye it.”

“Excuse me?”

He pouted, “Please?” Even with this ridiculous face, he stayed beautiful. She loved the twinkle of mischief, the hint of exasperation at her, and the kindness that made her feel good, the kindness that made her want to be the best person she could be.

“Okay,” She sighed and he had a victorious smile drawn on his face. “Let’s go for the wig.”

He smiled and kissed her, pout-ring all his love for her in it. She could spend years kissing him. “You two are gross,” Lysandra complained, Sam and Aelin pulled apart and Aelin sent her best friend a vulgar gesture.

“Anyway, Lys, what did we miss?” Sam asked again, this boy was the most curious of the four. He liked to hear gossip about everyone.

“Ansel was high at Nox’s party two days ago.” Aelin was sad they missed a party just to be at a Gala, but her parents were home for once and demanded that she was with them.

“You’re joking?” Nehemia asked and laughed as she took Lysandra’s spoon to eat some cereals. The brunette threw the dark-skinned girl a look that promised violence.

“You’ll never see me taking drugs, that’s for sure,” Aelin sighed and rested her head on Sam’s shoulder. “God, I already regret drinking twice in a week.”

“Good,” Sam said and she rolled her eyes.

The four friends spent hours talking and laughing together. They practically all lived at her home, anyway. Sam and Lysandra’s families were fucked up enough, so they spent their time here. Nehemia’s parents worked too much to notice that she didn’t come home most nights. Aelin’s parents were never here either, so she welcomed the company.

When it started getting dark outside, Aelin’s phone rang. She had no idea who called her but it could be one of her parents, calling her from wherever they were now or even Aedion who had a habit to lose his phone.

“Hello?”

“Aelin?” A deep voice asked and Aelin thought she recognized it in the back of her brain but she couldn’t put a name on who it belonged to.

“I’m not trying to be rude but, who are you?”

The man laughed and the sound gave her chills. “It’s Arobynn Hamel. Your mother was supposed to give you my phone number but I guess she forgot.”

Her body froze. Arobynnn Hamel. Of course, she knew that voice, she had watched enough interviews of him to become familiar with it, she even met him two days ago. She sat straighter in her bed, attracting the worried gaze of her three friends. With a more serious face than they had ever seen, Aelin motioned for them to remain silent.

“Oh gods, I’m sorry, Mister Hamel. She didn’t give me your number, I’m very sorry.” She was so embarrassed, Mala knew how much Aelin would be mad at her mom for it. Her friends looked surprised at who called her.

“Calm down, Aelin. It’s okay.” He comforted her as he laughed softly. “And call me Arobynn.”

“Alright.” She said and waited for him to explain why he was calling her, not that she wasn’t happy about it because she was. She just knew she would embarrass herself if she opened her mouth and started talking.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?” He asked and Aelin furrowed her brows. That was weird but exciting at the same time.

“No, I am free. Why?”

“We didn’t have a lot of time to talk Saturday and I think it’s a shame. I am still in Orynth for two days and would like to talk with you. Your mother told me you wanted to be an author or work in the publishing industry, is it true?”

“Yes,” it was the fastest answer of her life. Yes, she had always dreamed of working around books.

“From what I’ve heard, Aelin Galathynius, you are special. I’d like to see that by myself. Allow me to take you out for dinner tomorrow and we can talk about your future.”

If Arobynn Hamel helped her… She could become a successful author. She could picture it, a small house, Sam at her side, a study full of books she wrote, a life away from the spotlight, a happy life. It’s exactly what she wanted. Special, he thought she was special.

“Dress code?”

He laughed again and Aelin couldn’t help but smile. “Something like the dress you had on Saturday should be good. I’ll pick you up at seven, is it good for you?”

“Perfect.”

They hung up and she looked at her friend, still surprised, and smile. She was thoughtfully happy.

“Aelin?” Aedion asked, tearing her from her daydream. “You there?”

“Sorry. What is it?” She was tired and hungover, she didn’t get lots of sleep last night and she was feeling the effects. Dorian had left early this morning, long before anyone woke up. It was better than having to face Aedion’s judgmental looks.

“I asked if your scholarship got renewed for next year, Lysandra got the answer in the mail yesterday so you’re supposed to have yours too, right?” She looked up from her bowl of cereals, confused for a second. When she met Rowan Whitethorn’s face, with the same confused expression as her, she remembered.

Lysandra, Aedion, and everyone else believed she got a scholarship, frankly, she had no idea how they believed her. But they never had a reason to distrust her, that’s probably the reason.

Most of her relation with Arobynn was secret and the money he spent on her was part of the lie.

“Yeah, everything is taken care of.” She smiled, it was the truth in a way. She dared to look at Rowan and she didn’t why, didn’t know how, but she knew he didn’t believe her. She could see it in his frown and eyes.

“Good,” her cousin smiled as he drank his coffee.

She smiled back, he was worried for her, she knew it. It’s exactly why she didn’t tell him anything, he didn’t need the stress. “I’ve got everything under control.”

---------

“What are you still doing here?” Arobynn asked, startling Aelin. She had been too busy on her computer to hear him coming. “It’s past nine, we finished hours ago.”

They both had worked for hours today and she was tired. “What are you still doing here?” She asked.

“I asked first, darling.” He sat in his chair in front of her. She was still in her seat, the chair almost belonged to her for all the time she spent on it. She wanted to be annoyed at him but today had been different. He had been different. He wasn’t the Arobynn she had known years ago but he was close, closer than he usually was lately. Aelin was pretty sure he hadn’t had a drink all day, which could explain his mood. That was a good thing.

“I’m writing and waiting for my cousin to check his damn phone so he can pick me up.”

“Where’s your car?”

“Broken,” she grilled through her teeth. The damn truck had decided not to work this morning, causing Aelin to have a nervous breakdown. “A friend of mine had a look at it and told me it would cost me more to repair it than to buy a new one, so here I am, depending on my cousin.” She hated it, hated to depend on someone. But it seemed to happen a lot lately, so she might have to get used to it. “What are you doing here?” She repeated.

“My meeting lasted two hours,” he said, his voice hard.

“Ah, sucks when you have to actually do your job, right?” She remarked and didn’t know if it was a reproach for the way he over-worked her or a teasing. Maybe both, she didn’t want to wonder about it too much.

“Someone’s feisty today,” he joked and she fought a small smile. “Ready for Monday?”

“I already told you no, Arobynn.”

“Why not? You finish the school year in four days.”

“I have a job, Arobynn. I can’t just-”

“Everything’s taken care of.” He cut her off with a smile. It was the kind of smile that told her he had done something and was feeling rather proud of it.

“What.”

“Did you know Rofle was my friend? After a drink or two, he agreed to let you come back in September, right after your internship at Hamel Publishing.”

“And you did that after I told you no?” Her tone was rising. “And are you friends with everyone here?”

He rose from his seat to stand right before her. She had to raise her head to look him in the eye. One of his calloused hands rested on her cheek, caressing her cheekbone. "You know how powerful I am." She did, Arobynn wasn’t just a successful author or the CEO of a publishing company, those were just hobbies for him. He had grown up in a rich family, had been raised to be like every rich people. He had learned how fake smiles and words were weapons, how to manipulate people. He had a way to manipulate everyone he called his friends, whether it was a picture, a video, or a letter. He had something on everyone. “I once promised you I would make you shine, Aelin. I won’t let a shitty job ruin that promise.” For years he had told her she was special, he had told her she could reach the stars should she just let him help her. And for years she had believed him, so she decided to do it again. She only nodded and it seemed to be enough for him.“I’m calling a cab for you.”

“No.”

“No?” His voice was surprised. “Is it because of the money?”

“For fuck sake Arobynn I can afford a cab ride,” that was a total lie, but he didn’t need to know that. “I just… can’t.”

Understanding and pity flashed on Arobynn’s face and she had to keep herself from yelling at him for it. “You still can’t?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” She said voice hard that didn’t let room for questions.

“Pack your things, I’ll drive you.” This was what Arobynn from four years ago would have said, what the Arobynn she had come to know would have said. In a flicker of hope, she said yes. Hope that she could erase what happened between them, that she would forget like Arobynn repeatedly asked her to, and just start again because she didn’t know how to survive another person leaving her.

-----------------------------

It was the middle of the night when Rowan heard her cries.

At first, he had ignored them, trying to give her privacy. It was unusual of her to let someone hear her, so Rowan thought it might be very bad. But after five minutes of cries, he couldn’t stay in his bed anymore.

When he walked into her room, his heart broke a little. She was in bed, sleeping, trashing against the sheets, crying, and trying to talk. Even with only the light from the bathroom, he could see the pain written all over her face.

He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t just walk back to his room and ignore her. So, he shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up but it didn’t work. She kept jerking in her bed as if she was fighting with the pillows and her blanket.

“Aelin,” he said, using both his hands to shake her. “Aelin,” he repeated louder. Her eyes jerked open, she turned her head several times, trying to figure out where she was. Her whole body shook and a second later she leaned over the bed and vomited her guts out. Rowan held her hair back, avoiding touching her directly so as not to overwhelm her.

When she lay back down in bed, she was still crying, her limbs shaking as if she were hypothermic even though Rowan could see the sweat glistening on her skin.

Rowan had only seen one person look so wrecked in his entire life, himself. He saw it every time he woke up and looked into the mirror. It was worse ten years ago because he had no idea how to hide it, in a decade he learned how to conceal everything. How to recognize which night was most likely to give him a nightmare, learned how to stay quiet while he felt like dying inside.

“You should take a shower,” Rowan said, voice softer than he has ever used with her. He had been wrong, so wrong.

“I don’t think I have the strength.”

“To shower?” He asked but there was no judgment, he only wanted to make sure.

“To live.” Her small voice broke and his heart did too. When she looked up at him, eyes filled with tears, Rowan didn’t see anything but desperation and loathing. He knew it wasn’t directed at him but at herself.

“Come here,” he said as he slid his arms under her body. “We’re gonna clean you up, okay?” He lifted her up from her bed, avoiding the content of her stomach on the floor as her weak arms curled around his neck and he guided her to the bathroom.

————

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @surielandiareendgame // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy

[askaceattorney]

(Previous Post)

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: Thank you. You are too kind. Unfortunately, he passed away. Thankfully, he’s with the Lord in Heaven.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Anthony,

Co-Mod: So, yeah, about that...  After reading that letter, there was a debate in my mind between deleting that letter for decency’s sake and answering it to avoid losing the clever (if dirty) joke in it, and the latter part won in the end.  Strangely enough, there was a time when I might have complained to a moderator who included something like that in this blog, but apparently, I’ve become a little softer toward lewd jokes since I joined here.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.

If it ever seems like I’m getting too soft toward them, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Mod Edgeworth: It isn’t that stuff like this is against the rules, we’re just required to put a warning before showing it. It’s no different with language.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: You’re welcome, and thank you for reminding me why I got into this blog in the first place: the idea of communicating with video game characters, while perhaps a little nerdy, creates a very unique feeling of intrigue, excitement, and joy.  I consider it an honor to help keep that illusion going.

That being said, things got a little out of hand this Halloween, so maybe I should stop getting myself into it so deep.

Mod Edgeworth: Thank you so much. I also liked this blog for that very reason.

Dear pojofi96,

Co-Mod: No way...  Two compliments about our characterization in a row!?  What are the odds?

Anyway, thanks a bunch!  To answer your question, I’ve experimented with fanfiction in the past, but never shared any of it (unless you count this blog as fanfiction, which it sort of is).  I used to write short stories about Sonic the Hedgehog, Star Fox, Mario, and Kirby -- none of which I’d be comfortable sharing, sorry to say -- but more recently, I’ve had a few ideas for stories about specific characters, including but not limited to, Sister Iris, Alita Tiala, Danganronpa’s Sayaka Maizono, and even Doki Doki Literature Club’s Mon-Squid Monika.  I’m a big fan of side characters, apparently.

...Oh, and I’ve had story ideas for male characters, too, like Apollo and Edgeworth.  Not just the cute girl characters.  Should I ever decide to make something of those ideas, just remember that you heard about them here first!

Mod Edgeworth: I do write fan fiction actually. Not as much as I used to, but that’s what happens when you grow up to be 30 with a job.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Can do!  I didn’t see your name anywhere else in the inbox, but if I do, I’ll be sure to make it anonymous.

Dear Gumshoe “Letty” Fan,

Co-Mod: I probably would’ve guessed either one, since Gumshoe’s a guy and Letty was a mailwoman in PLvsAA.  Nice job making it a tough guess.

Mod Edgeworth: I didn’t really care that much to be honest. I don’t want anyone knowing my gender, so why would I ask that of anyone else?

(Video in Letter)

(Post this was mentioned in - Look in the comment section)

Mod Edgeworth: Well, I did anyways and I did, because I wanted Co-Mod and Mod Justice to hear this out. This made me laugh so hard. Thanks for the crumbs.

Co-Mod: ...........................................

...I want those five minutes and thirty-four seconds of my life back, please.

Mod Edgeworth: Also, Mod Justice did see this and his reaction was the same as Co-Mod’s rofl.

(Previous Letter)

Co-Mod: No problem, and thanks!   And as fate would have it, I’m answering this on Ibuki’s birthday!  How ‘bout that?

While we’re on the subject, I’ve developed a sort of love-hate relationship with Danganronpa -- watching a playthrough of the first game was, to put it politely, not a fun experience for me, but even so, I found myself falling in love with the characters (the same goes for the second game, which I somehow talked myself into watching).  I’m also starting to see why Ibuki’s so well-liked.  She’s a dolt, but she’s a lovable dolt.

I guess you could say she’s adored for the same reason as ol’ Gumshoe.

(Previous Post)

(Link in Letter)

Dear Gumshoe “Letty” Fan,

Mod Edgeworth: I’ve kinda grew bored of the 16P tests, to be honest.

Co-Mod: My results from this test were very similar to those from the last one, oddly enough: I got INTP (The Architect) as the best match, INTJ (The Mastermind) as a “Very Good Match” and INFP (The Healer) as a “Good Match.”  I’m still in the process of figuring myself out, so I’m gonna go with my intuition and say INFP (Mediator/Healer) describes me best.  I guess that’s the ‘N’ part of my personality talking.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: Just place the date you want the letter to be sent and we will save it the moment you send it. Just be sure the date you want the letter sent is on the top.

-The Mods

[fantastic-rambles]

Sk8 Character Thoughts

Yeah, so y’all have to deal with me venting my latest obsession, lol. Sorry to everyone who followed me for other stuff, I will get back to it eventually. ^^;

I was gonna write out individual walls of text for everyone to be fair, but I decided that’s too much work and I’d go crazy before I finished (plus I’m feeling guilty for neglecting my fanfiction writing), so I’m just gonna bullet point some of the random things I think about various skaters (opinions and theories).

The order is the approximate order of which I like characters, though it’s not a strict ranking. I like most of the characters in the show to some extent.

Adam (Shindo Ainosuke)

I’ve already said a lot about him, you can check it out here and here. I’ll probably end up saying more about him before the show ends, too. xD

Yes, he is an absolutely awful person, but that’s what makes him amazing.

I will say that he needs a better costume designer. He looks like a clown. It looks like something that he designed when he was, like, five years old.

The mask is great though. <3

Cherry Blossom (Sakurayashiki Kaoru)

I love the super analytical types, but I also feel like Carla is a crutch for him. He’s a great skater, but if he didn’t have Carla, I don’t think he’d be able to compete at the level of the other top skaters. But all the more props to him for finding a way that he could compete at that level.

He totally had a thing for Adam before. But I think that even then, Adam was too fucked up to be able to have a romantic relationship, so nothing came of it. Because if Adam did actually learn what real love was like rather than confusing abuse for love, I don’t think he would have turned out the way he did.

It’s pretty clear that until he gets smacked by Adam, he’s still looking up to Adam and clinging to what they had before. And it bleeds into his non-skating life as well: when he did his calligraphy demonstration, I think that he hoped Adam would see it, which was why he picked that specific phrase and explained it--to let Adam know that it wasn’t too late to make amends (not that Adam would have given a fuck even if he did see it).

I love his character design as a teen, and I’m sad that he’s become more respectable-looking (though still hot af) as an adult. I’m a sucker for guys with long hair in anime/manga.

He is absolutely a weeb. He’s made an AI assistant who he calls Carla, which creeps out Joe (in a cute, lovable way, not in an Adam way), and he incorporates her into almost all aspects of his life. Like, he just happens to have an AI-augmented wheelchair handy, why?

He also dresses up like a ninja when he’s skating, goes around in a kimono in his daily life, etc. etc. Okay, maybe the kimono can be excused since he’s a calligrapher (though I’m pretty sure that’s not the norm regardless, except for maybe if the artist is at some sort of exhibition?), but people’s costumes seem to show off who they really are beneath the mask they put on for society. So Cherry secretly wants to be a ninja. xD

I’m not on any specific ship, but if I had to pick one to board, it would be Matchablossom.

Can we please have a spinoff that’s just about Adam, Cherry, and Joe when they’re teenagers?

Snow (Hasegawa Langa)

Frankly, Langa’s only up this high because I love his dynamic/rivalry with Adam. If Adam didn’t exist, he’d be below Joe, maybe below Tadashi.

Not that I don’t like Langa, but he’s just an oblivious skating nerd. He’s skilled and passionate, but I don’t really feel that he really stands out as a standalone character. He’s more of a foil for other characters (mostly Adam and Reki).

I guess what stands out the most to me is his ability to improvise when he’s falling behind, since his skill level is understandably lower than most of the other people he skates against. Like finding alternative pathways to the finish line versus Shadow and Miya, or using Joe’s strength to propel him forward. Or just, like, flying off the edge of a cliff to take a shortcut. That too. xD

His snow motif is pretty cool. (No pun intended.)

And I won’t deny that he’s cute. He’s actually the reason I started watching, because I saw some fanart of him and got curious. Came for the Langa, stayed for the Adam. <3

I feel bad for him for having a jealous jerk as basically his only friend though.

Joe (Nanjo Kojiro)

He’s such a teddy bear. <3

Joe’s the heart to Cherry’s brain, and I adore the way they balance each other out. I love Vitriolic Best Buds.

What surprised me, though, is that Joe seems to have a better understanding of Adam’s current character than Cherry does, since Cherry is so precise and analytical. Though the flashback clarified that some since it’s pretty obvious that Cherry is/was biased where Adam is concerned. Sure, Joe was also friends with Adam back then, but it seems that Cherry was the one most star-struck by Adam.

But Joe obviously knows and accepts that Adam’s changed, unlike Cherry, though he probably doesn’t know the reason why. He seemed to be expecting something to happen during the race, so it didn’t surprise him when it did, though he was sad/disappointed by it. It seemed like he was concerned and wanted to warn Cherry before his race (which is super cute), and when everyone else was flinching from seeing the assault on Cherry, Joe didn’t look away. I don’t think he knew exactly what Adam was going to do (I don’t think anyone did, lol), but he knew Adam was going to do something.

I don’t think he was serious when he said the reason Adam is avoiding their beefs is because he’s afraid he’ll lose, though. Yeah, he wants to race Adam, and he wants to win, but I think he’s more grounded when it comes to Adam, so he probably knows that Adam would beat him if it came down to it. Whereas Cherry legitimately thought he could win if Adam held back.

Also, his skateboard wheels are ridiculous. How do they even work?

Snake (Kikuchi Tadashi)

He got an ask post, yay, so not going to rehash it here.

I really hope that Adam realizes at some point that Tadashi is the only person who really knows and understands him, and comes to appreciate everything that Tadashi’s done for him.

Miya (Chinen Miya)

Such a brat, omg.

I get that he’s a kid, and kids are brats, and so it’s a fairly realistic depiction. I just hate kids. >.>

Pretty much the only time I’ll really like a child character is when they’re precocious as fuck and not child-like at all, which I get defeats the purpose, but that’s me.

Brattiness aside, he is skilled and appreciates Reki standing up to Adam on his behalf, so much so that he’s willing to spend his time training a “slime” just so Reki doesn’t get completely crushed by Adam. And he’s also willing to work with Langa to teach him the most difficult trick in skating (the Caspar Slide) for the same reason.

Ultimately, he’s a good kid, but he’s had some bad experiences that make it harder for him to trust people since he’s afraid they’ll leave him. He’s still willing to try, though, if people will give him a chance.

Also, the one ep when they go on vacation and Miya pretends Joe is his daddy (and Cherry is his mommy, rofl--hi Matchablossom!) to drive away the women Joe’s hitting on... hilarious.

Kyan Reki 

An even bigger brat.

Again, yeah, he’s a teenager and teens are “just like that,” but I hate those kinds of characters.

Just because his friend is a skating genius, he gets all pissy and stops being friends with him? Showing up to cheer Langa on and then completely running away doesn’t redeem him in my eyes. I get that he’s disappointed that he’s not capable of skating at the level of the top skaters and frustrated that Langa surpassed him so easily, but that’s no excuse to take it out on Langa (or anyone else).

And everyone complains about Adam being possessive, but they just gloss over the fact that Reki repeatedly tries to force Langa to promise to not skate against Adam, even roping in their manager, when he knows that Langa likes accepting challenges and has fun doing them. He just wants to keep Langa to himself, and he’s jealous as fuck that Langa is obsessed with skating against Adam.

Langa even explicitly tells him that he’s not racing Adam just because he’s upset about what Adam did to Reki, but because he wants to do it. Which is the exact same fucking reason Reki gives for not listening to Joe and Miya, and Langa supports his decision then. Why can’t Reki do the same?

Yes, he’s traumatized because his friend who introduced him to skating was seriously injured and had to quit skating, and he got hurt skating against Adam, but just like for Adam: YOUR TRAUMA/BACKSTORY DOES NOT JUSTIFY YOUR BEHAVIOR.

Plus, the whole “we’ll never disappear from your sight” that he told Miya? Psych!

Like, seriously. He knows the kid has abandonment issues because people leave him because he’s too good at what he does, and then he just goes ahead and poofs, putting both Miya and Langa through the same exact fucking thing.

Though I’m sure that the power of friendship will give him a miraculous recovery and he’ll build a new board for Langa so Langa can beat Adam before Adam gets hauled off to jail. It’ll probably be a cheesy make-up where Langa says something about how he can only use Reki’s boards, so it’s like they’re skating together when he races or whatever.

I do respect his ability to observe other skaters and make boards that are perfectly suited to them, though. And he knows that he’d be good in that support role. But he wants to be the hero, so he’s suffering from eighth grader syndrome and lashing out because reality doesn’t conform to his wishes.

Shadow (Higa Hiromi)

Just fucking die already, ‘kay?

I don’t even know what to say. He’s all caught up in his “antihero” complex or whatever (I don’t even remember if that’s the right term, and I don’t give a fuck), and he’s got a nasty personality. Like burning Reki’s board or threatening to have a guy tattoo “Dumpster Slut” above his girlfriend’s name.

You really expect me to believe that he’d treat his manager respectfully if they started dating when he does something like that? His polite florist persona is such a sham.

And he’s a shit skater. How the hell is he in the top 8? If they can throw in a random guy we’ve never seen before (Harry), then they could have just as well put in some other trash mob instead of Shadow, who only didn’t get knocked out in the quarterfinal round because he was racing a nobody.

Imo, all of his “cute” little tricks like throwing fireworks at his opponent or shining a laser into their eyes is worse than what Adam does. Once he does that, he relinquishes all control over the situation, so anything could happen, such as his opponent crashing into a wall or falling off a cliff, which could result in serious injuries or even death. On the other hand, Adam always remains in control when he’s trying to throw off his opponent by forcing them to dance with him and freaking them the fuck out by pushing their limits. Even when he’s holding Reki’s head about an inch above the ground, he won’t let Reki brain himself on a rock or something. And even when he smacks Cherry with his skateboard, his attack leaves Cherry conscious and so lightly injured (relative to what could have been) that he doesn’t even need to stay in the hospital. (I don’t think he actually needs a wheelchair, other than probably being a bit woozy from a concussion, maybe. And maybe not even that if Joe isn’t concerned enough to wake him up/keep him from being unconscious.) Yeah, Adam fucks with his opponents, but if they can get over it, they can get back on a board. There’s a good chance that won’t happen if they get in an accident caused by Shadow, other than for anime logic.

“What about Adam’s Love Hugs??” What about them? Yes, he’s not holding on to his opponents to control their falls, but the point of it is to make them flinch and fall backwards, against the line of motion. That naturally will decrease the severity of their physical injuries, unlike when Reki and Harry fall off the course at full speed versus Shadow.

The only reason he doesn’t have a higher body count than Adam (or even a literal body count) is plot convenience, since he’s not the villain.

[heathered-beinn]

BangtanTV Youtube Vids 4

130217 SUGA (feat.RAP MONSTER) - YouTube Suga’s Log 17/02/13 (UK date)

So this is Suga’s first log! I love that fluffy black hat he’s wearing!! Obviously the heating is still not great in the studio since he’s also bundled up in a thick jacket ☹ I don’t have much else to muse about for this this video as it’s pretty short and not much happens or is talked about. It’s mostly Suga trying to make a log but laughing and complaining at Rapmonster constantly distracting him in the background. They obviously get on well both as colleagues and friends and it’s nice to see the two of them messing around having fun. So far they have tended to be the quieter, more serious, members of the band so I love seeing them act in a silly manner. I also look forward to hearing more from Suga in the future when RM isn’t distracting him!

흔한 연습생의 Harlem shake.avi - YouTube흔한 연습생의 Harlem shake.avi - YouTube

WTF did I just watch lol?????

The first time we see so many of them together on their official YT channel and it’s 20 seconds of chaotic WTF are you doing ridiculousness. Six of them – not sure who is who except RM and probably Jimin doing the headstand on the couch and maybe Jungkook in red – doing random things to the beat of Harlem Shake. Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay Moving on ROFL

 130206 RAP MONSTER FREESTYLE - YouTube Rap Monster Freestyling

No picture just RM rapping. Thanks to Megan R (credit Genius) in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Reading through the translation it seems RM is back on the path of feeling lost “a deserted island among my friends” - only it seems worse this time. He talks about being an adult now but all of his music peers have found success but he hasn’t yet. He doesn’t feel like there is a path for him, that he is stuck, and there’s no fuel to move him forward. His friends are suggesting he goes to college instead but RM doesn’t want to give up on his dream. My heart goes out to him. It really does. What he wants seems to be insurmountably far away to him (although it actually isn’t really – hindsight really) and I want to say I am so proud and very impressed that he got through that hard time to become the star he is today.

 방탄소년들의 졸업 - Making Film - YouTube Behind the scenes of J-Hope, Jimin and Jungkook’s Music Video

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3 <3 <3

This was so cute. A short compilation of clips of them messing around, dancing, laughing, and running about, having fun together behind the scenes of their little music video (This was in the last lot of BTV videos I watched). Can I just say wow at Jimin’s running cartwheel!! Lol, at least Jungkook tried. However, Jungkook’s basketball shot was also pretty impressive too!

The three of them seemed to get on well. There is definitely a tight little friendship developing between them – particularly between Jimin and Jungkook. I noticed in the scene where they are in the café and crowded around the laptop that Jungkook was comfortable getting so close to Jimin he was millimetres from resting his chin on his shoulder. It was cute and only of note because he seemed such a shy boy in other series and appeared a bit uncomfortable with being overly touchy-feely (like a typical teenager). It makes me wonder if his discomfort was more rooted in doing those softer kinds of things in front of the camera rather than doing them fullstop. This is another reason I am so keen to watch these videos – we are more likely to see who they really are and what they are like in real life when there is less editing and scripting involved. Even these more candid videos will never be true reflections either unless it’s a moment where they genuinely don’t realise they are getting filmed. I do wonder how Jimin and Jungkook’s friendship pans out over the years though. There wasn’t much in Carpool Karaoke to make a judgement but I remember it was Jimin, J-Hope, and Jungkook in the middle seats which suggests to me they remain fairly close.

My finale musing on this video is, yet again, another moment of marvelling how this little cutie grew into this beautiful man.

 130228 RAP MONSTER - YouTube Rap Monster 28/02/13 (UK date)

There is no translation for this video but I think, I think, he is just rapping along to a famous rap song? Either way, it’s cute lol and he seems to be enjoying himself.

Can I take a moment to point out that we have not seen one glimpse of V in these videos so far!! ☹

 130227 J HOPE & 정국 - YouTube J Hope and Jungkook 27/02/13 (UK date)

Cuties!! <3

As soon as I saw these two I was ridiculously excited. I feel like this, so far to me, is an odd pairing and I can’t wait to see what they are like together :D Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Okay, now that I’ve seen the video and read a vague translation I can’t help but laugh on rewatching. There doesn’t seem to be anything of note in what they say, however their antics were hilarious and silly and I’m still not entirely sure I understand what they were on about lol. What I most noticed was just how confident and talkative and generally at ease Jungkook was with J-Hope, like just J-Hope’s presence was enough to push back Jungkook’s shyness. It was so lovely to see! It’s clear the two of them get on well and spend quite a bit of time together. There was definitely a big brother / little brother vibe going on and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn if J-Hope was one of the ones who looked out for Jungkook the most back then – and brought him out of his shell. I mean, J-Hope is just a ball of sunshine – who wouldn’t be buoyed up in his presence?!

130304 J HOPE & RAP MONSTER - YouTube J-Hope and RM

Another pairing I’m so excited to see together! Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

J-Hope starts off by commenting the colour scheme is black and white. RM says this is coincidental but emphasises that the band is one that works well together without having to say a word. J-Hope agrees they are an awesome team. So… this is the first time in these BTV vids that I’ve seen RM talking about the band being a team and talking to another member as a teammate, which is an interesting and positive change to behold. Only a month ago (4 videos up) RM was talking as though he had no path and was somewhat lost in what he was doing with his life. This ‘team talk’ is a significant change in direction. How deep RM is in this change remains to be seen but it’s good to see him interacting with the others in a band-like way. I’m wondering if there has been significant movement in forming the band behind the scenes since the start of February. There were barely any logs between this one and RM’s one where he was describing himself as a deserted island so it’s possible their time has been spent working on the band – which, if the case, brilliant!

Lol, RM asked J-Hope what he had done that day. J-Hope said he’d been relaxing and watching a movie and could not be more vague about said movie – he really gave it a stellar review lol. RM said he had been around Seoul looking for music inspiration but ended up resting instead and being distracted by pretty girls. J-Hope says this is pretty typical of RM, suggesting he knows him and his habits fairly well by now.

Then it gets super interesting as they say their schedule for the week ahead is packed because BTS debut day is approaching. I wonder if that’s what’s got RM suddenly talking about teamwork? Perhaps now that things are gearing up for a debut he’s feeling like he finally has a focus – a path. The question is, does he still, deep down. think about himself as a soloist or is he now becoming accustomed to the idea that his future lies in a band? Does he truly think the band will work out? It’ll certainly be very interesting to see how this plays out over the following weeks.

Final musings on this video: RM and J-Hope seem comfortable with each other but not super-comfortable with each other. There’s not the same silliness between them as there was between RM and Suga or J-Hope and Jungkook, which suggests to me that at this point they have a friendly colleague-type relationship but are not yet super-close.

 130304 SUGA - YouTube Suga’s Log 04/03/13 (UK date)

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuga!!!!!!!!!! <3 Thanks to Nana Na in the Youtube comments for the translation.

ROFL!!! Suga starts by saying that because RM isn’t there the log is going to be easy. Funny enough, both RM and J-Hope did a log on the same day in the same studio?! It’s probably much later in the day. Suga tells us that the song playing the background is “Fly” by Epic High, which he says guided him into the world of hip hop. He says this song made RM and himself choose to rap and further explains that in 2006, while in elementary school, it was this song that made him decide he wanted to rap. This small titbit gives us such a little insight into how Suga got into rapping and just how long he’s wanted to be a rap star for. The fact that he knew so early on what he wanted to be and is still working hard to make that dream come true shows just how dedicated he is and just how well he knows himself. He finishes his log by saying when he’s tired and exhausted, like he is today in the video, he listens to this song “Fly” and it inspires him to make good music.

 130309 SUGA - YouTube Suga’s Log 09/03/13 (UK date)

Takes place 4 – 5 days after his last log – same hat! Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

It’s Suga’s birthday!!! <3 He says he used to anticipate his birthday when he was younger but not anymore now that he is older.

Then J-Hope, Jimin and RM come into the studio singing happy birthday and carrying a cake. Suga says it’s too cliché but seems pretty pleased by the gesture. He blows out the candles, J-Hope punches his arm a few times, which Jimin then wants to do but can’t because he’s holding the cake. Suga tells J-Hope to quit with the punching. RM says to turn up the music and Suga ends the log.

It’s sweet to see them celebrating each other’s birthdays. I hope as the years go on we get to see them do this for every member! I wonder if they buy each other presents – with 7 in the band that could get complicated and expensive lol.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Suga, sweetheart <3 Sorry for being belated by 8 years!!!

 130306 정국 - YouTube Jungkook’s Log 06/03/13 (UK date)

This seems to be a few days out of sync with the video for Suga’s birthday but it’s no big issue. Thanks to nana na in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Jungkook is almost painfully cute at this age. He starts by saying he still feels shy shooting a log alone and is not sure what to talk about <3 He says the background music is what he has recently been learning choreography to and finds the dance moves funny and exciting. He also says he is really tired and sleepy but he still has things to do and will go to bed after finishing them because he promised. This concerns me a little. There’s nothing to indicate the time but it does look like it might be pretty late in the day. He’s still young, still at school (presumably a school night since 06/03/13 UK date was a Wednesday) and he’s also working on band things. The fact that he said he promised to go to bed to someone means that someone else – much closer to him than the fans - thinks he has been working too much and not getting enough rest ☹

 130308 J HOPE - YouTube J-Hope’s Log 08/03/13 (UK Date)

Thanks to Hopeful Many in the Youtube comments for the translation.

J-Hope says he walked in as Suga was going to record a log (he calls him by his real name Yoongi, and I forgot that even back then they were probably pretty new to their stage names and probably don’t call each other by their stage names behind the scenes). Suga is quietly sitting up the back. J-Hope says he wasn’t planning on playing any background music but he liked the MR so he let it play – it reminds him of cherry blossoms and first love. He says he thinks he should work on a song like that. However, he is extremely busy as reality is approaching. [I guess he means the band’s debut]. He admits he has been sleeping less and working hard and hopes the results will reflect how much work he is putting in right now. He finishes the log by saying they should all go to the cherry blossom festival, in which Suga agrees. I find it simply beautiful that BTS have grown up in a culture where their masculinity is not questioned because they want to see some pretty flowers.

Not much more for me to muse on other than I like J-Hope’s top <3

[anyu-blue]

So a friendship ended... But luckily in this case it's absence leaves room for better things to grow.

I was rambling in the tags of my previous reblog, but yeah...

'friend' decided that Empathy and Sympathy mean the same thing, that I am not, in fact, an empath/able to put myself in others' shoes/sometimes unwilling pulled or made to feel things against my will (experience things that aren't may own), that NO ONE could feel what he feels or know what he's going through, that I have a messiah complex, that he 100% wants something (that I, being me, cannot/will not provide), and that families and friends cannot possible hold one another accountable/truly be honest with each other.

I have tried very hard for months to be patient with this man. Tried very hard to be a good friend and more. Tried very hard to give him the benefit of the doubt too. But, well, he isn't worth my time and effort I've decided.

Maybe I'm wrong in that I'm an empath and I've just got another form of psychosis. I fully admitted it was a possibility... But I was honestly helped by people being willing and able to kindly explain how they could put themselves into my shoes almost perfectly and WERE me at one point- with all my experiences and feelings... Not with the same names and faces of course, but knowing my experiences aren't so unique and I wasn't so alone as I thought was such a comfort to me. And it certainly feels like I can do the same that they were describing of being in others' shoes.. and that sometimes too it's involuntary..

Of course I was a stubborn teenager at the time I was being told all of this and going through that teenagery 'you don't know what it's like!!' stage... But I learned. I was able to step back and take stock when my hormones weren't flying all over the place (made worse by an undiagnosed hormone disorder at the time (woo nonbinary body!), but I still managed with help and good role models)... I'm sad my former friend never got that and can't clearly draw understanding of stuff like that. He's into his 30s so, well.. it's harder. I get that. In a few years almost on the dot I'll be 30 myself. I know how much harder some of this stuff is now that I'm very much an adult vs when I was a teen.

According to him though... Yes. Empathy and Sympathy are the same thing. Completely overlooking that Sympathy is having a common feeling and being able to feel sorry for someone... And empathy is SHARING a feeling and being able to experience/feel what it is that's being gone through- not just feel sorry (And I'm explaining it this way because he pulled up Definition number two of Sympathy and Definition one of empathy from google and demanded to know how they were different- common vs sharing is definitely a key difference in those Definitions... And Empathy's specified it was an ability on top of that so... Hmm). I wasn't there for that type of ignorance.

Next is the idea that his experience is SO unique I couldn't possibly understand and then his demand of me to explain how he felt if I 'thought I could'. Okay, first of all it's is heckin' RUDE to demand your friends explain how they could 'possibly know' how/why you're bothered by Something... But I did try- after telling him I wanted an apology for him being so rude as to demand that... he half apologised and mostly went into detail about his woeful feelings.... And yet when I told him I made my reply/explanation much earlier in the day and copy/pasted it to our chat from my Docs (which, to be fair, matched what he said incredibly well) he told me that I was 'just regurgitating' what he told me about how he felt. Um... You asked me how you felt and then I told you what it feels like to go through what you're going through and why it's so bothersome (because I've BEEN there myself?)... Only for you to tell me I don't understand and I'm just echoing you rather than feeling anything? Um?? Empathy is FEELING what YOU feel??? Hello??? And you asked me to describe it??? WTF? I wasn't there for THAT either.

And then he had the idea to accuse me of having a messiah complex (because he 'had one too when [he] was younger and had to learn People weren't worth saving'). Okay. I didn't 100% get what that was/didn't entirely trust my gut feeling on the Google Definition... So what did I do? I googled it. And then I asked my sister (without context) if she thought the description matched me before I replied. According to Google and my sister and the rest of my family... I do not have a messiah complex. Not the first Definition of believing to have some calling or right to heal people, nor the second Definition of believing to be responsible for helping people... As I told him I only offer bits and pieces of advice and different outlooks on the same situation because I am trying to be a good friend. Sure I HOPE it'll be helpful or someone might gain Something from it- but I'm not Sharing because I BELIEVE it will solve the problem or that I'm responsible for fixing someone (I know the line is fine and blurry, but I s2g caring for a friend by sharing stuff and believing you HAVE to help someone are TOTALLY different things)... People sharing their experiences and what works for them to help them not be so miserable is what has helped me throughout my life... it's a mark of my best friends. And I truly don't understand some social cues of how sometimes sharing advice or ideas or memories even ISN'T needed, wanted, or helpful... Obviously. (Because I'm clearly neurodivergent- uh, hello?! Can't 100% help it but trying my hardest?!)....

But according to him... I'm just blind and needed to be knocked down a few pegs rather than thinking I'm so great and could possibly understand him/anyone else... Okay. Not here for that.

I admitted to him that sure... Some of my own experiences bleed into empathetic episodes. It happens!! Like when he's told me multiple times that he's been left out with his family (no one shares information or events beyond what's ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED with him- won't tell him a family member is dying but will talk about Christmas sort of deal) and is a black sheep (different political/life views and feelings of only being tolerated) the ways he has... I put my own experiences of being neglected/abandoned into that. He swears he had always been loved and never felt alone/mistreated by his family (even though he's the one who described these things and Is partially why the feelings of abandonment popped up as I went into his shoes more or less-- but hey. Mistakes happen as do unintentional bleeds. I get that it's not perfect because ultimately I'm still me even when experiencing others. I can and will admit to skewing some things like so on accident if it's true.. but I refuse to believe I understand absolutely nothing at all when we are ALL human and typically have emotions and certain reactions to certain things. Most of us REALLY aren't THAT unique!! Sorry.. it's extremely true based on science's understanding/research anyway).

One of the last things he said to me after accusing me of the messiah complex was he just wants me to 'listen and agree' with him about stuff instead of telling him about my/other ways of looking at things, telling him he's off the mark, or trying to help with the misery.... When previously (and over and over and over) having demanded my absolute honesty and having said he appreciates what I do.... I will not lie to him and say he's right in what he's doing or does with a given situation if he's wrong or looking at it through a lens. Duh. That's 'bad' friend stuff. And sure I can listen no problem!! IF I am told outright/first that what he's saying is JUST a vent and not supposed to be a conversation at all. I've mentioned I need that sort of thing!! If it's just a vent, tell me!!! I'll stfu and listen knowing that... But I'm SORRY I CANNOT just outright TELL. It's not a skill I have!! I HAVE been attempting to get better at it... But anyone can tell you text is especially HARD. Especially when we DO have a conversation about it? A back and forth? And you NEVER once say 'i don't want your take. I just want you to listen.' Even my own sisters and I have to stop ourselves and go... Hey... I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm just venting. And then everything gets so much easier!!! And if we can open with that- 'hey, can I vent to you?' OMFGGGGGGGG it's SO much EASIER!!!

... and yet still.. following that... I am INCREDIBLY LUCKY... Because in venting or in sharing and asking for advice and more... MY family is made up of the type of people who can step back and be unbiased!!! And we can stop each other and TELL each other if we are, in fact, fucking up!!! I mean sure... There's always going to be that love and desire for better for one another... Be ALL of us are under the impression that sometimes the people we love are WRONG and sometimes they are BAD no matter how much we don't want them to be.. and it's far kinder to be honest and take the 'right' side than to give each other all the quarters we want. We cannot learn and/or grow if we cannot hold each other accountable... And Sharing experiences and saying why is designed to be a kindness no matter if it actually helps them or not.. But guess what my 'friend' thought of that? ROFL I was obviously under the incorrect impression and my family will always take MY side simply because I'm family...

In the end...

I do NOT need a 'friend' like that. Who questions everything I do, demands more of me/everyone than I/anyone can provide, who cannot and will not learn or be open to learn in any form, and who takes - dude, you're pissing me off. Fuck off for the night and maybe we can talk again in the morning once we've both gotten sleep- as a 'challenge' to prove this that or the other thing and attack their friend... What the ever loving FUCK is WRONG with you?!

... if you want to know what started this whole thing... He was complaining that none of his friends 'will' hang out with him anymore. Totally understandable to feel awful and lonely (and everything I described to him that he demanded I do)...

But he kept taking it father saying people always changed their schedules on purpose or clearly had nothing else going on in their lives but avoided him anyway and stuff like that... And I dared to question and suggest that some of us DO have good reasons for canceling and not spending the time he wants/needs... That some of us have offered compromises that have never been enough but we still try and SOMETIMES life really DOES just get in the way!!! Like my being sick all the time!! I don't WANT to stay cooped up in my house every day fearing even a passing cold will knock me off my feet!! But dude!! I HAVE to!! And People don't USUALLY demand schedule changes!! It usually kinda gets thrust upon them!! Hello??? Don't we live in america where that's WIDELY KNOWN?! Where sometimes people CAN'T take what little spare time they have and spend it on YOU?? ESPECIALLY during a PANDEMIC and other big changes??? That sometimes that time NEEDS to be taken up with simple pleasures like a single player game in their own home?! Don't People USUALLY have reasons for their habits too? Prerogatives/needs that they don't or can't share with others during those habits because MAYBE it's what they need and you just happen not to be a part of it but could be if you actually ASKED what was going on?! Or idk... LISTENED to what they're telling you about WHY-- especially when you yourself admit you are the ODD one who needs other people physically around to recharge (where most other people don't/only get more exhausted)?!

In the end... I did tell him that sure... If he's treating his other friends like this (which clearly he was treating me pretty darn awfully) then maybe YEAH some of them do it on purpose. We already know how younger brother (my ex) does and that he's not exactly shy about that. Friends may do it on purpose eventually- especially if he's treating People awfully and accusing them of doing it on purpose when they DON'T have control over it... Maybe they WILL migrate to doing it on purpose because of the accusations and inability to make him believe life is just messy sometimes!! But they don't want to lose an occasionally really great friend (because good or bad losing a friend is HARD on the mind and body) and/or don't see how manipulated they are?

In which case... He deserves it. Just like he deserved my wrath (at least in part- I was told I took it a bit too far in that I didn't block him sooner. I did make that mistake for sure XP) when he decided to be so fucking rude to me and then piss all over my efforts to try and be what constitutes a good friend.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not worth my time.

And of course the very very last word he had was 'you deserve better friends than I am right now.'

Which, while true and would have been sweet, is something I know (and he has admitted to in the past) is a 'feel sorry for me' tactic. It's not 100% true remorse any more than 'oh no I fucked up and don't want to deal with the consequences of my fucking up, maybe this will get them to feel sorry and let me do it again/get away with it.' I've used it too and understand the tactic all too well. So again I say and know he's not worth my damn time.

Without him in that space of my life... I have more room for others and especially more for myself. I don't need that toxicity. I've been that person too and I know it. I still have my days. And yet it's still okay and good I've walked away.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not a friend for me.

[theoriginalladya]

Types of kisses #50 for Kristopher x Kaidan. *Evil laugh*

from this list

On AO3 here

And you thought I couldn’t do it?!  LOL  You’re pushing me to tell their story beginning and end with little in between! ROFL  Well, maybe not ... might have to extend it further ...  

Under cut for length

~~~~

Nights are chilly this time of year, and Kaidan doesn’t usually spend much time outside after dark because of it.  With a hint of snow in the air and the occasional gust that hits the corner of the front porch at just the right angle it feels like shards of ice piercing through clothing – even one of his mother’s thick, knitted sweaters – as well as skin, there’s nothing to recommend being out here.

Except that he is, and he doesn’t plan to head inside anytime soon.

It’s been weeks, months even, since finding Kristofer.  The return to the orchard and his reunion with his family notwithstanding, his status since that time has been slow to improve.  Kaidan is adamant not to push it – he wants Kris to remember what they had, if he can, and if not perhaps rekindle it in a new way, and that takes time, perhaps even starting all over again.  It’s frustrating, to say the least, but he knows in the end it will be worth it – assuming, of course, Kristofer evolves in the same manner as before.  But at this point in his life, Kaidan has nothing but time, much to the chagrin of the Council and Hackett.  He has no compunction about retirement – he’s saved most of what he’s earned over the years, plus there’s the family orchard to fall back on, but there is no way he will leave Kris to go through this on his own, and that’s despite whatever happens to their relationship.  And though Hackett assures him there are plenty of options that remain open to a man with his skills and talents, Kaidan is well aware he’s far too old to be running across battlefields.  He is done; end of story.  A new chapter to his life is open and it’s time to figure out what story is on the pages.

The flakes begin to drift lazily from the sky, looping and whirling as they descend.  Smiling around the brim of his mug, Kaidan lifts it to his lips and takes a careful sip. The warmth of the coffee helps chase away the chill, though the caffeine is something he doesn’t need this late in the day.  Still, sleeping has been a challenge with or without it, and he’d rather be warm out here now if he can.  The disturbing dreams have nothing to do with the caffeine anyway.

A soft click behind him is the only warning that the door is opening, but Kaidan knows who it has to be.  His shoulders tighten and he straightens.  Some habits are hard to break now that he’s not in the Alliance.  

“Am I intruding?”

Kaidan relaxes a tick.  “No, of course not,” he replies, turning into a more open and welcoming stance. He leans his hip against the railing and gestures carefully with the mug, inviting Kristofer to join him.  “Something on your mind?”

Kristofer eases out onto the porch slowly.  His hip hasn’t quite healed yet since the corrective surgery Dr. Chakwas performed, but it is healing.  The hitch in his step is less pronounced these days, too.  Like Kaidan, he’s dressed warmly to ward off the chill in the air, a heavy leather bomber jacket over another of his mother’s creations, a thick cream colored turtleneck covered in cable stitches.  Kaidan has no idea what kind of magic it takes to turn yarn into such creations, but he appreciates the results.  He’s always thought his husband was good looking; tonight, even more so.  

Kristofer leans forward and rests his hands along the top of the railing as he steps next to Kaidan.  Slowly, he inhales deeply and he turns his face to the sky.  “It’s so different to see it from here,” he murmurs after a minute or two.

Kaidan’s gaze follows his line of sight.  “The stars?”

Kris nods.  His dark hair is longer than Kaidan’s used to and it’s curling slightly at the ends.  A gentle breeze flicks at it and a few snowflakes land briefly before melting away. “I grew up out … there,” he gestures towards the sky with his hand.  “Stars, planets, galaxies … they were my neighbors.  Down here, it feels a bit …”  He shakes his head.  “I don’t know.  Too open?”

Kaidan chuckles and smiles at him.  “Well, if you’re looking for that closed in feeling, we could always go stay at the apartment in Vancouver.”

A half-smile steals across Kristofer’s lips as his head lowers and stares at his hands.  “Oh, this is fine.  I’m not complaining, I promise.”  The smile widens.  “It’s incredible out here.”

Kaidan turns to adopt a similar pose.  “It was a nice place to grow up when I was younger,” he agrees, taking a sip of his coffee.  “Though it never seemed this cold.”

“Mmm.”  Kristofer chuckles softly.  He then nods ahead of them.  “That lake out beyond the barn?”

“Yeah?”

“Is that where you used to skate?”

Kaidan stiffens, the mug halfway to his lips again. Skate … Coffee forgotten, his gaze darts over to stare at Kris.  Do you remember?  Hope bubbles in his chest so fast and furious, it aches.  “Dad would help ice it over for me every year,” he replies when he trusts his voice to remain steady.  “Spent more time out there than studying, much to Mom’s changrin.”  Kristofer chuckles then meets his gaze.  

That is when Kaidan notices the difference.  The look, the knowing in his eyes.  His breath catches and it’s all he can do to set the mug down on the railing without tipping it over.  “Kris …?”

Kristofer folds his arms across his chest as he faces Kaidan.  “As I recall, you said something about being this hotshot hockey player – right winger, wasn’t it? –  who ended up black and blue all the time but decided it matched the blue and white of your uniform?”

Kaidan’s eyes widen further.  He remembers that discussion, way back in their SR1 days.  The two of them, plus Williams and Garrus.  He spent more time trying to explain the basics of hockey to the turian than he did telling his story.  “I …”

Kris leans back against one of the support posts, but never breaks eye contact.  “What about that tree you climbed when you were ten?  The one where you said you could see the stars so close –.”

“– that it felt like being in high atmo,” Kaidan finishes.  He runs his hands over his face.  “You … How much do you remember?”

Straightening, Kris steps closer.  “Most of it,��� he admits.  He reaches for Kaidan’s hand, the one where their rings should be, but neither is wearing.  “I was washing the dishes and I got distracted.”  He turns his hand so Kaidan can see it; an angry red welt running down the meaty pad of his index finger.  It’s less than an inch long.

Kaidan flinches, but immediately reaches starts to examine it.  Kristofer doesn’t resist.  Already, Kaidan sees the tell-tale signs of healing thanks to the cybernetic implants Cerberus used when bringing Kris back to life.  It doesn’t take long to realize he’s going to be just fine … but Kaidan also doesn’t release his hold.  “Must’ve been one hell of a distraction,” he jests.

A smirk creeps across Kristofer’s lips as in a deliberately slow movement he eyes Kaidan from head to foot and back again. “You could say that.”  He curls his fingers around Kaidan’s and tugs him closer until there’s only a couple of inches between them.  “Can you ever forgive me?” he asks softly.

Kaidan frowns.  “For what?  Forgetting? Having amnesia?”

Kris shakes his head.  “For sending you off the field in London.”

Groaning, Kaidan wraps his arms around him and pulls him the rest of the way in before touching his forehead with his own.  “I’ll admit, I didn’t like it,” he murmurs, “but I understood why you did it.”

Kris slides his arms up around Kaidan’s shoulders, leaning into the touch, eyes closing partway, shoulders relaxing more than they have in a long time.  His fingers toy with Kaidan’s hair, moving carefully when he nears the implant at the base of his neck.  “I didn’t want to,” he admits, “but to take you any further … you would have died, you know that, right?”

Kaidan sighs, but responds with just a hint of movement of his head.  “I do.”

“I needed to know one of us would live.”

Kaidan huff softly as he turns his head just enough so he can nuzzle his nose along the side of Kris’s.  “And now we both have.”

Kristofer’s smile is as bright as the scattered moonlight peeking through the storm clouds above.  He presses a light kiss across Kaidan’s lips.  It’s quick and easy, and he pulls away almost as soon as he arrives, but as Kaidan opens his mouth to protest, Kris follows it with another on the edge of his jaw.  Then another a fraction lower.  Then lower. And lower.  Eventually, he reaches the edge of the collar of Kaidan’s sweater and hovers there, right next to his Adam’s apple.  

Kaidan, overwhelmed by the unexpected rush of affection, tightens his arms around Kris and swallows tightly.  Kris laughs softly, plants another kiss, then retraces his path back up to Kaidan’s lips again.  When he arrives, he slides his hands around to cradle Kaidan’s face, their eyes meeting once more.  “Hello there, handsome,” he murmurs.  “Nice to see you again after so long …”

[swaps55]

The one thing I think of with you as a writer is Exilium. The whole, entire thing. The way that I sat on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter. Of course, you still do that with all of your stories, but that was the one that pulled me in and hooked me forever. (then there's you as the editor who tore that one chapter I wrote to bits SIX TIMES! ROFL I didn't think you could put that much red ink in a google doc! but you've helped me improve, so I shan't complain!)

Exordium is one of the most important things I’ve ever done. It’s how I got to know my Real Life Romance Option. It’s how I found fandom again. It proved that I could write a full novel. I am so, so, so happy you loved it. It was such a work of blood, sweat, tears, and sheer devotion. 

As for that chapter we worked on, I did warn you how much I comment when I read things. ;) (Right? I did, right? Oh god suddenly I’m panicking.)

My creative writing mentor once told me that 80% of the critiques you get aren’t helpful. It’s the other 20% that are worth holding onto. Therefore, when I give concrit, I tend to just give people a giant buffet so you can pick and choose what’s useful. I like giving play-by-play commentary so you know what I was thinking when I read something, which hopefully helps you gauge whether or not something landed, if a particular moment comes across the way you want it, etc. 

I’m actually beyond thrilled that my commentary left as big or bigger of an impression than my actual writing (hopefully in a good way), because I have more fun critiquing than I do writing. I love helping people make their stories the best they can be. 

...but my way of doing things isn’t for everyone, so I like to make sure anyone I work with is on the same page. The goal is to encourage, never discourage. Sometimes concrit is too discouraging, especially for folks who look to fandom as a happy place and a confidence builder. It should be those things for those people. 

I mean, I started drinking (a lot) thanks to concrit. Usually when I get it I need to let it sit overnight and throw a mini pity party before rolling up my sleeves and going to work. But man. I have a case study I need to share on how it made a major difference in my last chapter of Sonata. That kind of impact is worth a shot of bourbon and a pity party (to me). 

Wait. What were we talking about? 

[asherlockstudy]

I get that interview was HBO forced but it sounds insane when last season, he was saying Jaime needed to get away from her for good. I mean no nice post about Gwen after the last ep. I dont believe it was about not wanting to stir the hornet's nest if him and B didnt get together as he posted a huge loving one about Lena and that was a very controversial part of the plot. If hed know posted a gwen one saying"sorry JB didnt get a happy ending but here's me and Gwen in happier times" i dont get it

I think it’s very weird too…Imma analyze it. Not that I’m gonna reach any solid conclusion but I will just lay out all my thoughts.

Whatever the reason Nik doesn’t post or reply publicly to Gwen is, it has nothing to do with his personal preference for Braime or Jaime x Cersei. Even if we make the insane assumption that Nik appreciated that Jaime dumped Brienne to return to murderous Cersei and die with her without serving any purpose in the main plot (what lead actor of 8+ years would ever like being unimportant in the ending plot) and saw “pOeTRy” in it, it still doesn’t explain why he should prefer posting about Lena over Gwen. We would be naive to think he made a post about Lena and not Gwen because he prefers Cersei to Brienne. So, we still have no clear evidence of what Nik’s private thoughts and feelings are for his character after the ending. 

Here’s what we have: 

We have two interviews: one with HBO rofl and one with that journalist who collaborates with HBO and was an insider (I’m not gonna search his name) in which he stans Jaime’s choices, his love for Cersei and the tragic poetry in it all. Then we have him promoting the episodes and the documentary in his instagram and twitter, however he is entirely emotionally detached from his character and his fate. I would say he lowkey looks entertained in his weird af episode promo videos and secretly amused while filming the “thank you” video after the last episode where he says “Come on, it was great” and suggests a petition for an Arya (huh?) sequel.

We have two videos uploaded on yt with him: one is a video of a stalker in which Nik looks uncomfortable and passes the question to the random guy next to him who apparently happens to be a GOT fan, have an elaborate opinion on the last season, hate D&D and think they threw away Jaime’s beautiful character arc. What are the odds…The second is a skit in Jimmy Kimmel in which Nik drags his own character by making him stupid and clumsy, a sad little being because of his maiming and, most importantly, an unrepentant sister fucker. All of Jaime’s worst qualities displayed for laughs, plus that he’s actually a likeable but very stupid person. The skit ends with a dragon randomly burning him and his family alive and those credits

So, we have straightforward criticism towards D&D by Kimmel and NCW actually participates in it. This is what this skit means - that this level of writing, this kind of lame character and that ludicrous death is something that only Benioff and Weiss would like to produce. And, well, the Olsen sisters (although I think they’re cleverer than that). 

So, we have two videos where NCW’s intentions are dubious AT BEST. 

Then we have all the promos. When left to speak on his own, Nikolaj would say how the ending was beautiful and made sense and he once mentioned he sent a letter to thank them for this genius plot…Right. But then when asked or caught off guard (1:04): 

Nobody tries to sugarcoat it, look at the title of the video: … NCW is ‘happy’.  Then of course we have our Lady and Saviour Gwen who tries not to laugh as Nik struggles to find what to say and not just stand up and flee.

Also, this one. The best one: 

I could make a thousand gifs for this but just watch again the entire video:

0:07 - Gwen’s face when Nik says he thought the script was fantastic

1:13 - “N-no..NO!!!” when asked if he would change something in the ending and Gwen’s reaction to that. Then, our leader Gwen proceeds to mock him: “So, it’s an immaculate- It’s immaculate?” to which Nik impulsively replies: “NO!” and goes on “do you ever read a book and think you want to rewrite this?” which implies, that yes he would want to rewrite it but knows he can’t. 

(3:03 - 3:06) - VERY IMPORTANT ONE. When Gwen wondered who was closer to predicting the actual ending, Nik says “I was, yeah” and OMG look at Gwen’s face. It’s very subtle but she’s trying to communicate with her eyes a “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” to him without being seen by the interviewer. It’s kind of a wife done with her husband’s shit look tbh, that level of subtlety. And Nik answers back with his eyes in equal subtlety and it’s like he says a “What? I truly was right lol….”. To me, this seems to mean that Nik always knew or feared that D&D would eventually destroy all his work and was eventually proven right. Unless this all is about Dany being killed by Jon but I doubt at this point Nik and Gwen cared enough to go all cryptic and eye communicating for this. No, it was about them. 

3:09 - Nik is surprised and then clearly amused at the information by the interviewer that Kit was the one who came closer with his prediction. He can’t hide his smile and says an ironic “good for him” while looking knowingly at Gwen who then says this must be a lie. This shows that it is known amongst the actors that most of them are disappointed and Kit was one of them. Both Nik and Gwen apparently knew Kit hated his ending too and would never expect this to be how the show would wrap up. BTW that writing and that backlash really got to Kit, I hope he recovers soon. But think about this, Kit went into rehab for stress and alcohol, Emilia was devastated and gave a somewhat concerning interview and Nik’s public behaviour regarding GOT is inconsistent and unpredictable. I am thus assuming the writing of the final season and the backlash fucked them up way more than they let on. 

This interview is a gem but here’s the most important part, perhaps the core of what baffles us: 

1:32 - After all the miserable no-nos poor Nik mumbles, Gwen tells Nik what we all think: “I think it’s just a question, you know? Maybe you want to answer it?”

Of course he’s in a total loss for words. Literally, he doesn’t make any sense. Some incoherent sounds come out of his mouth and that’s it. This can mean two things: either he truly thinks the ending is perfect or the ending made him such a mess that he can’t even process it verbally two years later. 

Either Gwen is much braver and Nik is extemely paranoid or Nik actually has many more restrictions in what he is allowed to say. I believe Gwen wanted Nikolaj to be as open as her about it and she still tries to make him open up but he doesn’t. In all the promos without exception, Gwen looks as if she knows Nik is full of shit and secretly agrees with her. If Gwen knows that for a fact, then we can’t argue and it’s actually what makes sense anyway. Nikolaj agrees with Gwen but is not eager to discuss it openly yet, or ever. This could be because he is very professional or because he doesn’t want to get a bad name as a “backstabber” of his projects or it might be a situation of a more sensitive nature. 

If those rumours that the S8 script was changed are true, then Nik and Lena might have had a serious breakdown with D&D and a negotiation might have taken place. For instance, Nik and Lena were really unnecessary in E6, Nik’s scene in E1 could have been eliminated as well and Lena does not appear in E3. Yes, they are big actors but paying them 1,2 million for every episode seems a tad excessive when Emilia and Kit are now famous too and have like 300% times more screentime. All this is wild speculation but maybe they stretched their appearance in the episodes as much as possible and gave them a good amount of money to agree on the butchering of their characters and their importance as former lead actors. I mean, especially Lena was downgraded to a secondary character in this season. Lena had to really fight to see her salary rise in the previous seasons. And now it’s a million for every episode? Wow. How many minutes was she staring out of the window in S8? Maybe they were silenced and payed a shitload of money to stop complaining and promote the show and praise the writing as what it was supposed to be. Maybe they payed them in order to promote Peter, Kit and Emilia for the Emmys instead, who knows. When so much money is involved, things can get frustrating in ways we don’t even fathom. This is wild and rough speculation but all I’m saying is there may be reasons Nik avoids talking freely about his character that we can’t know. 

Besides, it’s not just a Gwen problem. It is not a Gwen problem. Gwen revealed she sent a “Jaime is a fuckboi” meme to Nik privately and he answered playfully as ever (but again as if he’s in denial). They posted a story together a couple of weeks ago. Nik did not just ignore Gwen’s instagram post. Daniel Portman posted the photo and tagged Nikolaj too. Nik ignored him as well. Bryan Cogman, who Nik and Gwen owe a lot to, commented under the photo in a very sweet and emotional way. Guess what, Nik ignored him too! It’s ridiculous to think Nikolaj has stopped communicating and caring about Gwen AND Daniel AND Bryan just because his character returned to Cersei. Furthermore, the fact that they all keep tagging him shows they don’t think their relationships with him have become tense. 

That’s not it. It’s not about Gwen. The only way that Gwen is involved in all this is that she wants Nikolaj to open up so that he would give a little acknowledgement to her character and the relationship with Jaime because she feels very much for Brienne. I’m sad to say, however, that it seems to me that Nik did not take that blow more lightly than Gwen. In fact, his behaviour is more inconsistent and troubling whereas Gwen’s openness about it made her confront that sore subject more healthily after all. I start believing Nik was actually way more devastated than Gwen. At least Brienne remained a decent character, ever faithful to her ideals, ever innerly strong. Jaime was entirely trashed, let alone that he was supposed to be a main character. If Nik can’t even handle a photo that reminds him of his destroyed character arc, I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe Gwen wants Nik to open up so much for his benefit as well - he keeps it bottled up and she might know first hand how that affects him.

Long story short, the reasons Nik doesn’t post anything about his feelings for Jaime’s character arc, his relationship with Brienne and his collaboration with Gwen probably are both professional, after begrudging deals and agreements and restrictions from HBO, and very personal, inner and private, as he’s still trying to cope with a disappointment that crushed down on him from what used to be his dream job and a role he hoped would be a (or the) peak of his career. I bet all these years Nik was hopeful Jaime would be extremely important and fully redeemed in the end but also extremely scared and anxious that the writers won’t give him what he hoped for and what made sense. Would I exaggerate if I said this should be the biggest professional disappointment he ever experienced, provided that he didn’t like the character’s ending? 

From everything Gwen has said about him, I have surmised that Nik is very emotional and anxious but with a very blasé and superficially amiable attitude. He avoids expessing emotion in real life which is why he might be dissociating a lot lately. He tries to distance himself from that part of Jaime’s character that involved Bryan and Gwen because this is the part that he loved and lost. Honestly, I can’t think of any other logical reason he ignored Gwen, Dan and Bryan one after the other and never made a post about his own character specifically or his good times with Gwen. It’s obviously not that he suddenly hates all of them to the point of not even replying. Even if HBO restricts him on what he can say in interviews for a while, there is no other explanation for this other than that D&D’s genius writing fucked him up emotionally as much as Emilia and Kit and he does not want to deal with it even though Gwen probably thinks it would be for the best if he did. 

Now after I wrote all this, imagine if Nikolaj actually doesn’t give a shit and is just happy going on with his life while I am here wasting time. But… I don’t think so. I will never not believe Nik didn’t love Jaime to pieces. He had big dreams for this role, I am sure of it. 

[sams-cupidfest]

With the series finale, what’s your take on the new official ships, and the insinuated ships? CheesePie, SugarMacintosh, SandbarYona, and possibly AppleDash?

Oh, and FlutterCord?

Oh I’m sure I could go on and on about all the things I do and don’t dislike about the finale and everything they did with their characters and ships in the end.

Fortunately none of the shipping discourse is covered in my MLP Review video I’m currently working on, so I’m definitely free to go at them in length here!

Let’s just go in order as I think that’s the easiest way to handle this, and start with CheesePie.

CheesePie gets the 100% Sam Rose seal of approval! CheesePie is wholesome goodness that just makes absolute sense, and anyone who disagrees with these two making a happy couple honestly don’t really know what makes a good couple.

You can dislike it for several reasons, including having other ships you much prefer one or the other to be in, but to say anything along the lines of “They would be bad for each other” would just be straight up false and a gross misunderstanding of their characters.

I honestly don’t have much to say outside of that, they’re just absolutely solid. I’m glad Weird Al got to canonically steal a Waifu, its honestly perfect. If anyone deserved to get away with it, it was him for sure lol

Also Lil Cheese is adorable, though I wish she didn’t have Fluttershy’s colors straight up stolen. Like, just tweak the colors a bit and she’s honestly perfect. It wasn’t difficult lol

SugarMac.

I have mixed feelings about SugarMac. On one hand I think they’re mostly harmless? But at the same time the show never really did a good job of ‘selling’ them.

Like the only times we ever saw SugarMac was when they were having issues with their relationship, and they were really tropey relationship issues too. Love-Triangle battle to get the girl, and then miscommunication twice (I haven’t seen Big Mac Question but I was told it was awfully rehashy of Break Up, Break Down. Feel free to correct me if that’s not the case).

So not only did we never see them develop as a couple, see why they worked out aside from liking how each other looked, we never really had a reason to get invested in them. 

I would’ve loved more background appearances of them, or maybe at least a full on explanation of how they’re doing as a couple outside of their super awkward get together and their issues before just, jumping to getting married.

A harmless ship in my mind, but I always got the feeling people would’ve preferred Mac to get with any number of other more well suited choices. And I can at least agree with that. I like Sugar Belle, but I’m not sure if SugarMac was the best ship for either of them.

SandbarYona

…

I legitimately know nothing about these characters rofl

I’m sitting here trying to think back to the interactions they had in the episodes I saw, and I barely remember them at all. I know Sandbar gets talked about a lot as the ‘boring’ member of the young six, and he’s essentially there to be the token ‘pony’ of the group and that’s it.

I’ve heard people like Yona, that she’s a sweetheart and all, but I never really saw any character defining moments for her.

For context, I didn’t watch every episode of Season 8, and only the Opener for 9, so I missed like 90% of the character episodes for the Young Six.

Judging ships for them is extremely difficult because I don’t have any kind of a grasp of who they are as characters or their importance in the show. I really, REALLY wish they had either been the solid focus of the show, or not been included at all.

So as far as SandbarYona goes, without any reason to truly say no, why not? From what I can tell it’s not toxic, no one has complained about it, but no one has really praised it either.

So I’m gonna assume it’s okay!

AppleDash

I know they made them re-appear talking about chores as a hint that they might be a couple now, and then leave the rest up to fan interpretation, but honestly I’m not a big fan of them as a couple.

Maybe early show it would’ve been fine, but even back then I was never a big fan of “Rivals who become love interests” plots, not unless you really, REALLY showed the chemistry and how their ‘shared passion’ truly became something that is a solid bond of their relationship.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash always kind of took things in the opposite direction, showing why their passions made them clash, instead of why it brought them together. And that only got worse and worse as the seasons went on, especially as Dash got boiled down into being nothing but a cocky, egotistical stereotype.

I’m afraid that CANON AppleDash does not get the Sam Rose seal of approval. The way they’re portrayed in canon just comes off far too toxic for me. It’s perfectly fine to ship it I suppose, since in AUs and headcanons you can strip away the toxicity the show kind of laced their friendship with, but keep in mind that it requires quite a bit of fixing or retconing to make work.

FlutterCord

FlutterCord is… Weird. I can see WHY people would like it, or WHY they would end up together? Fluttershy is practically the only person in Discord’s life that he ever actually cares about, and has a passion and dedication for her that rivals no other, and I can easily see that being interpreted into an actual relationship.

But this is also Discord we’re talking about.

I’m not sure he’s a character who was ever meant to be in any kind of relationship. Or at the very least, it’d be a relationship that would end up as chaotic as he is.

That one episode where Discord tries to change himself to fit Fluttershy was probably their best episode on why their relationship would work, because the things they like about each other is why they’re friends in the first place, and changing that isn’t what either of them wants.

But Discord is a prankster troll who whines for attention and demands to be given things and opportunities he hasn’t earned or deserves, and makes a fuss and mess about all of it if not gotten his way.

I just have a hard time not sitting down and seeing down the road so many small issues piling up until there was this big break because Discord is TERRIBLE about dealing with his emotions, and it’d practically always be on Fluttershy to fix HIS issues for them to be a couple.

Who knows. Maybe they’d work better then I’m giving them credit for? Because I’ve also stated I can totally see why they’d end up a couple, and it makes sense.

But Discord is just a specific type of character that I hesitate to pull the trigger on their relationship, or give it a seal of approval.

I suppose this is another mixed bag ship. Harmless at the end of the day with how its portrayed, but it leaves a lot of unpleasant possibilities lying in the air that make me wary of it.

[the-woundupbird]

용콩별콩의 백만년만의 궁물토크🐂 (YongKong Byulkong QnA 18.12.15) TIDBITS

I did this on my last tumblr so I thought I’d do it here since this latest vapp was hilarious:

Moonsun had a fight when they brought Hwasa along to go on a ride that took 2 hours to get there.  They even took the subway.  The issue arose when Moonbyul was emphatic about not wanting to go on the ride (which I agree that ride Solar and Hwasa wanted to do is scary as heck). Solar and Moonbyul got into a fight that resulted in an exchange of “I don’t wanna ride it”, “Just ride it”, “I SAID I don’t wanna ride it!”, “Well then let’s just go!”, “Fine let’s go!”, “FINE!” All the while poor Hwasa was just standing off to the side watching with big eyes.  So then Moonsun and Hwasa returned back the way they came without riding on the ride they had traveled two hours for.

Moonbyul said that for her birthday Solar and her are going to hang out.  It’s sort of a tradition at this point according to her.  She mentioned that Solar just proposed to her “Where do you want to go?” for her birthday all cool like.  Solar says they haven’t quite decided yet exactly what’s the plan though. 

Moonbyul mentioned again she doesn’t have double eyelids.  I actually always wondered if she used tape or if she got surgery after promotion season a few years back but apparently it’s always just glue or tape that gives her that look. 

Moonbyul commented that the bruises on Solar’s legs are pretty bad from the pole dancing as well as the callouses and blisters.

Moonbyul and Solar were super jazzed about how Lee Dahee mentioned how much of a fan she was of mamamoo.  It was really cute because Moonbyul had seen the drama Beauty Inside so she said she thinks Lee Dahee is a girl crush.  They kept bringing up how much they like Lee Dahee and Solar mentioned how she’s really shy but she got brave and just said the comment about Lee Dahee unplanned.  Moonbyul even said she’d love to take a picture with her.

Moonsun also talked about Yubin making a comment about how she thought Moonbyul was super “heart-fluttering” after opening a door for her.  Apparently Yubin was walking by in a narrow hallway after Show Champion and Moonbyul was standing near the door and so she just opened the door for her with one arm.  Solar was like “THE DOOR WAS SUPER HEAVY AND SHE JUST DID IT WITH ONE ARM!” Apparently it really shocked Yubin and they all were like 0_o and surprised that Moonbyul did that.  But Moonbyul said thank you for Yubin calling her a girl crush.

Moonsun talked about how much they love and admire BTS and their performances. They spoke really highly of them and praised their performance abilities as something to be learned from.

Moonbyul mentioned Chaewon from iz*one and said how grateful she was because apparently they didn’t have time to practice for MAMA together until they were both in Japan. 

Moonbyul went OFF about people who leave nasty comments about Mamamoo. Translator’s note here but this is honestly the first time I’ve seen a girl group member talking that aggressively about netizens who pull that shit.  She mentioned how for a next vapp idea she and Solar should read mean comments and talk about them.  That’s ballsy as hell honestly.  They also mentioned how they are really grateful for moomoos up voting kind comments and they really appreciate all of the kind words from fans.

Moonsun talked about INGA and Moonbyul mentioned how she uses Inga’s lipstick every day when she does stages.  

Solar mentioned how Byulyi is being a little shit about height again and it drives her crazy and low key it felt like she wanted to strangle her lol.

They played around about the Season’s Greetings.  Moonsun apparently loved the concept and thought the crime scene theme was really fresh.  They joked about asking for a scenario like that once a month.

Random but Solar kept complaining how Moonbyul kept shifting closer and closer to her and kept knocking her off screen.  She joked how eventually she’d just be a shoulder with only her hair moving to show her reaction.

SOLAR WANTS TO START A YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND MOONBYUL THINKS IT’S A GOOD IDEA! She practiced asking for people to subscribe at the end rofl

[im-no-jedi]

Fuckign uhhhh Uldren Sov (that's how you spell it right?)

THAT IS HOW YOU SPELL IT YES

ohhhhhh boy Ihave so many things to say....

How I feel about this character: ok so ya’ll know I got intoDestiny after the second game came out, I didn’t really know anything about itother than a few of the characters (literally only like 4-5 of them, and Caydewas NOT one of them ironically). one of the characters I got VERY interested inwas Uldren. I didn’t even know what his name was, I just knew him as thesnarky, emo, dramatic prince of the Awoken people. AKA he was a hot asshole,therefore I loved him ROFL. and then right around the time Forsaken was beinghyped up, I started learning more about his character and being REALLY excitedfor the potential for him being in that DLC cause they were teasing him in gameand ahhhhhhhhh I was SO excited. and then... the trailer about him killingCayde came out. and all my excitement turned into pure RAGE. there was no othercharacter I hated more than Uldren Sov from the time that trailer dropped untilthe DLC actually came out. I made a freaking revenge playlist that I listenedto every time I took a shower. it was... really bad. but then Forsaken cameout, I played it, I relished in the fact that I got to get my revenge and killUldren, and everything was fine and great... except it wasn’t. I felt emptyinside after playing that DLC. and I realized that all that anger andaggression I’d had up until that point was misdirected. I wasn’t angry atUldren. I was angry at what happened to him.and my feelings were solidified after reading into the lore and finding out howmuch he’d been abused and neglected, even before Forsaken. I didn’t just feelsorry for him... I felt SAD for him. that’s why I came up with the idea of himcoming back as a guardian like, several months before Bungo decided to make itofficial LOL. I wanted him to be redeemed. I wanted his story to end happily. Iwanted to... make him my own, in a sense. that’s why I wanted him in myfireteam and why I write so much about him because he’s an absolutelyfascinating character with a lot of potential that up until this point has beenshunned and abused both in game and by the writers of the game anddflgkjhigfodslkjhffkdjstldr: I LOVE HIM AND I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY DADGUMMIT

All the people I ship romantically with this character: PETRA VENJ.OMG. like... I did not expect this to be my actual OTP for this game but itis??? and it’s technically canon???? like??!?!!??!? I know they’re probably notgonna make them a thing in the game, but just knowing that there’s a potentialand that at one point they were kind of a thing is enough for me tbh 8DDDD

 My non-romantic OTP for this character: ya’ll aregonna laugh at this but... it’s Cayde. I’m not joking. the pure chaoticfriendship potential for these two is so off the charts that I legit thinkthat’s why they had Uldren be the one to kill Cayde ROFL

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m one ofthe few people that’s actually excited about him coming back to life as aguardian. I came up with the idea MONTHS before it happened in the game, andwhen it actually happened, I almost cried. granted, we haven’t seen nor heardfrom him since his initial resurrection, which SUCKS cause I’m SUPER excitedabout it, but that’s Bungo for you!!! :)))))

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this characterin canon: WHY DID HE GET RESURRECTED AS A GUARDIAN AND THEN DISAPPEAR.WHY DIDN’T OUR GUARDIAN GO LOOKING FOR HIM. WHY DIDN’T HE COME TO THE TOWER.WHERE IS HE. WHERE IS MY BOY BUNGO. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING HIM >:Calso I don’t want him to become the next Hunter Vanguard. I’ll be ok with it ifit happens and it’s done well, but I’m not like OMG HE DESERVES TO BE THE NEXTHUNTER VANGUARD and all that. it’s like Smokescreen with the Matrix ofLeadership in Transformers Prime. I won’t complain if it happens, but also I...don’t think it should happen. there are better candidates. at this point, Ijust wanna see him again in general. GIVE HIM TO ME BUNGO.