#I know in use — incorrectly sometimes

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[uwudonoodle]

Annoyed that I can't really say "demure" anymore.

[rapha-reads]

You know the one and only problem with reading Loustat fics? You guys make them speak French sometimes and from this two problems arise:

1. The author is not a native French speaker (not necessarily France French, the francophonie is big and there are so many different French existing), and uses translation tools to go from English to French. Hence, a mixing of "vous" and "tu" ("S'il vous plaît, tu m'énerves" - either it's "vous" or it's "tu" but not both), and a constant registre shift (extremely grammatically correct 18th century sounding French mixed up in the same sentence with 21st century banlieue slang - very jarring). Like, pretty sure Lestat would never say anything like "ferme ta gueule" ("shut the fuck up"); too vulgar and too 21st century. He'd say "boucle-la", I feel. Things like that, that wouldn't be noticeable to an English-only reading crowds, but that are making any French-native wince and cringe.

And 2. Love declarations and sex talks in French. Oh, boy. I don't know how all of you English-native read smut or romance in your own tongue. It is so, so intense and intimate, extremely intimate in a sort of intrusive manner, to read love words and/or dirty talk in French. It's not that I don't read in French, obviously not, but there's something about fanfiction in your own language that makes you feel exposed, I feel. Also, petnames. We need to have an entire conversation about petnames.

Anyway. Currently accepting Loustat fic recs, books canon compliant up to the Prince Lestat trilogy that I haven't read yet. Especially post-Merrick fics. I know the fandom went underground thanks to AR's stance on fanfic, but I am very amazed at the lack of VC fics on AO3. Either the old forums haven't made their way to AO3 yet, or everyone buried their fics so deeply they don't even exist digitally.

[arolesbianism]

Another quick drawing from last night

[keirskeenknowledge]

Apparently em dashes (—) are used a lot in AI writing?? Is that true?? Is that why I had someone literally think I use AI to write my stuff?? Because of my dashes and they think my writing is bad???

HELLO???? GUYS IM SO LOST RN

Y'all I'm over 30. I've been writing longer than this websites existed, and even LONGER still since generative AI really took off in 2022. I had to write in physical notebooks in my early years. I wrote on MYSPACE.

[faetealights]

.

[skrunksthatwunk]

*ripping my shirt type werewolf transformation sequence* im removing they/them from my bio

[homunculus-argument]

A professional exorcist, but with the attitude of a professional pet handler. A demon whisperer, if you will. Just showing up to places that have a ghost problem, figuring out what the creature's problem is, and then just... give them chew toys, usually. The girl whose soul is trapped in your cellar is scared and bored in there, of course she'll rush at you and shriek every time you try to go in there. Ease her into human interaction, leave the door open sometimes and talk to her until she gets used to you.

Yeah the thing clawing on your walls is a bear spirit. Yeah a bear was slaughtered on the spot of this house incorrectly in the 1800s or something. Yeah performing the proper rites now won't make it go away, it's already used to your trash - bears are creatures of habit. Just do these little rituals to appease it every once in a while. In the good news, the ghost bear will keep the living bears off your trash. Yeah bears have a lot of reverence to their dead.

Oh, "poltergeist" is an outdated term, we don't use it anymore. It was used as a kind of a blanket explanation for a whole bunch of different phenomena that couldn't be explained otherwise. What you have here is an undiagnosed autistic child who's also on psychic spectrum. Yeah no there's actually significant overlap between the two. Here's where to find resources on how to better accomodate your kid, the furniture should stop exploding on its own once you've figured out a better way to communicate so they don't get overstimulated.

This house right here is just build on a demon area. No yeah the mysterious scripts you found carved in the stone that your house's foundation was built on literally just say "DEMON AREA DO NOT BUILD". They don't live here, it's just like an ant road. Except the ants are the size of a truck and immaterial. No you can't redirect the demon highway, you gotta move. You built a house on top of a stone that literally says "DO NOT BUILD". I get that you didn't know it at the time, but you do know now, so if you choose to stay, that's a you problem.

[hilacopter]

leftists about other minorities: "just because you don't actively hate a minority doesn't mean you're immune to being bigoted, there's always internal biases to unpack."

leftists about jews: "whaaat?! how could I possibly be antisemitc??? I don't hate jews! I'm anti-bigotry! I'm a Good Person!"

leftists about other minorities: "always listen to minorities when they say something is bigoted."

leftists about jews: "don't listen to anyone telling you you're being antisemitc, israel and (((the zionists))) are weaponizing antisemitism to shut down criticism!"

leftist about other minorities: "of course bigotry against a minority should be defined by the people of said minority and it's important not to talk over them."

leftists about jews: "actually it's not antisemitic to say (conspiracy theory)/(blatant dogwhistle)/(repackaged blood libel)!! don't let any Bad Jews™ tell you otherwise!!"

leftists about other minorities: "no, having friends or family from a minority doesn't make you not bigoted. that's literally the oldest excuse in the book."

leftists about jews: "and before anyone starts throwing accusations no I'm not antisemitc, I know many (like 3) jewish people and they're some of my closest friends (I see them at the grocery store sometimes)."

leftists about other minorities: "obviously no people are a monolith, and a person from a minority can still be bigoted or have internal biases towards said minority. it's important to consider who you're speaking with."

leftists about jews: "so obviously since all jews are born with every single piece of jewish knowledge ever I can totally use this very convenient culturally christian ethnic jew as a token for my argument against a person who was raised culturally jewish and knows extensive jewish history."

leftists about other minorities: "we shouldn't center ourselves in historical events of other minorities."

leftists about jews: "I would've been a brave hero who hid jews during the holocaust, which was actually about queer and disabled people because why do the jews get to hog it all to themselves?!"

leftists about other minorities: "it's cultural appropriation to use this word belonging to a minority, you're robbing it of it's history and meaning."

leftists about jews: "(uses zionism incorrectly) (uses zionism incorrectly) (uses zionism incorrec"

leftist about other minorities: "skin color doesn't define ethnicity! there are plenty of white-passing black people, brown people and more!"

leftists about jews: "jews are literally just white people. all the jews I know irl are ashkenazi and light-skinned, what other proof do I need?"

and these are just a few of the double standards I've noticed. feel free to add.

[yukioos]

APOCALYPSE

SUMMARY: jayce talis x reader // after dealing with much criticism from heimerdinger and complaints from viktor about hextech, he finally walks home and ends his day peacefully lying on your chest.

AUTHORS NOTE: hi guys! i’m working on a viktor x vampire reader fic so that’ll probably come out this or next week. happy holidays, have a good day! this is 1.6k words

WARNINGS: not proofread, angst, jayce is going through a lot, depression, stress, anxiety, reader n jayce are married, pet names, reader is referred to as ‘mrs.’ and ‘wife’

jayce had to sit in a room and listen to heimerdinger criticize and critique his work for three hours. three whole hours were spent listening to him complain about hextech, and the professor wouldn’t let the scientist utter a single word. eventually, he just tuned out the sounds and words from the elder, and instead tried to think about you, his wife.

most of his days were spent thinking about you anyway. but sometimes your relationship would go through rough patches because of how little time jayce was at home. you understood he couldn’t be home all the time, he was a scientist, after all. the city of piltover heavily depended on him, and you knew this put major stress on the man.

sometimes he would become distant, and you would become worried for him and his health. days without hearing a word from your husband were common, you became accustomed to it. because of this, you cherished your days with him, and continue to do so whenever you encounter him.

jayce didn’t know how much of an impact he had on you by not being in your life as often as he wanted to. you were everything to him. you were the reason he did everything for piltover, it was all to protect you.

but he didn’t know how unhealthy it was for him to skip meals and hardly get any sleep just to keep the city safe. he knew the city wouldn’t be as developed without him, but he always felt the need to do better. when heimerdinger critiqued his work constantly, he began to feel overwhelmed and anxious with every step he took, in fear of not pleasing someone.

he once snapped at viktor for incorrectly solving a formula used for the hextech. unfortunately, he hadn’t noticed how agitated he had become because he was too focused. he began to hate himself more and more with every mistake he made and overworked himself past his limits.

as the days passed, you hardly heard from jayce. worry clouded your mind, and your heart raced quickly once your phone rang. you picked it up and glanced around your bedroom.

“um, hello?” you stuttered, seeing professor heimerdinger’s contact on the screen. you tilted your head and thought to yourself why the professor would be calling you at this time, at eleven at night.

“ah, mrs. talis! i wish we could speak on better terms, it is nice to speak to you again. however, eh, your husband has… collapsed. i was wondering if you could bring him back to your residence once we wake him up?” his chirpy voice seemed duller than usual, with a hint of dissatisfaction. he glanced at viktor, who gave him a halfhearted smile as he continued pacing around the room.

“wh— huh? i’ll pick him up but why has he passed out? i’m confused, professor, is he—”you began to ramble, overthinking all the scenarios that could have happened to your loved one. he hasn’t come home in days, you should’ve been at the academy with him. you should’ve been by his side, maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you were.

“please, mrs. talis, do not worry. i believe he hasn’t slept for a healthy amount of time, so he just passed out. no biggie, do not feel frightened for him. he is okay, he may just be… taking a power nap.” another voice is heard on the other end of the line, and the professor pauses, “ah, i apologize. i must leave now, as i have more work to do. please head over to the academy and pick him up. thank you, goodbye!” he replies, speeding up his words near the end of the call. he hangs up, leaving you with unanswered questions.

you slowly take the phone away from your ear and stare at the frame on your nightstand. it’s a photo of you and jayce getting married, and he looked as handsome as ever. tears were visible on both of your faces, mascara ran down your cheeks. it was the happiest day of both of your lives.

you really hoped he was okay.

when you arrived at the academy, you walked up to the professor’s lab, as you had studied there years ago. your heels clacked against the tiled floor, having to use a flashlight to see through the dark hallways. you gently knocked on the professor’s door and were met face-to-face with jayce’s lab partner, viktor.

“hello, mrs. talis. it is nice to meet you. as the professor also said, i wish it were under different circumstances.” he smiled and turned his head toward jayce, who ashamedly looked down at the ground. heimerdinger was gently speaking to him, but it seemed as if jayce wasn’t listening, like he was in his own headspace.

he had dark eyebags and had lost weight, his skin became more pale and ghostly. it was clear he wasn’t taking care of himself.

your eyebrows turned upwards, and you slowly approached your husband with worried eyes. heimerdinger cleared the path to him and nodded, permitting you to speak to him.

“jayce, sweetheart,” you mumbled, looking up at his form as he sat on the stool, you bent down so his eyes would look at yours. you brought your manicured hand up to his face and rubbed his cheek.

“we’re gonna go home, okay? you gotta take a break,” you persuaded, continuing to comfortingly rub his pale cheek. it was always one of the things that made him feel warm and cared for.

he nodded and mumbled an, “okay,” before slowly standing up and waiting for you to lead him outside. you gently placed your hand in his, and he weakly curled his larger hand around yours. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ to viktor and heimerdinger, then walked the path toward your shared house.

once the two of you arrived, jayce slipped his shoes off, and you did as well. you lead him up to your bedroom, where you suggested he’d properly sleep for at least eight hours.

the both of you slipped off your clothes and changed into comfortable ones, but what bothered you was that jayce hadn’t said a word since you brought him to the house. so when you dimmed the lights and laid on your side of the bed, you were surprised to see jayce hadn’t curled up into your side yet. he was normally a cuddle bug, but maybe he’s changed.

his eyes looked sullen as he stared at the ceiling. he sighed and turned his head towards you without a smile or word, staring deep into your soul, as if he was trying to tell you something.

you could guess what he was thinking, so you opened your arms up to him. he slowly moved to your side of the bed, and laid his body on yours. he let out a large sigh and perfectly laid his head on your chest. his breathing suddenly became more relaxed once you began to scratch his scalp, a gesture he loved ever since you two settled into a romantic relationship.

you began to feel cold drops of liquid on your chest, ones that you could only guess were tears. when you glanced down, you saw him biting his trembling lip. his body was shaking and holding onto you for dear life, and your heart broke at the sight. you would never want your husband to feel whatever he must’ve been feeling at that moment.

“jayce, baby, what’s wrong? i’m getting worried about you,” you mumbled, tilting his head up with your free hand. he began to let out sobs and whimpers, trying to hold them back but failing miserably. his walls broke down just at the caring words from his wife.

“‘m sorry ‘m not good enough,” he gasped, trying to take in more air. you and his mother always told him he was perfect, that he didn’t need fixing. hell, he even started telling others that, but he never would’ve believed he would’ve stopped thinking he was good enough for himself. his world came crashing down, all the stress plummeted to his heart, and in his lover’s arms.

“jayce, you’re perfect. you’re good enough for me, you’re good enough for the city, you should be good enough for yourself. you’re amazing, do you even know how much you’ve done for this city? you should be proud of yourself, honey!” you praised, causing his whimpers and sobs to become quieter, as he felt loved by your words.

“do you have an idea on how to not… dive into the headspace you’re in again?” you asked, wanting him to have control over the situation. maybe he would feel a bit better that way.

“can you make that decision for me?” he mumbled, not wanting to think too much. he just wanted to rest on your plush chest, with your warm arms trapping him in your hold.

you giggled, “mhm. how does a couple of days or a week off work sound? i’m sure the professor would let you have a break, baby. you need it.” you felt a smile and nod against your chest, and glanced down to see his almost asleep figure. his grip on your body became loose, even as his hand lingered on your thigh.

you were glad he was back home and safe. hopefully he would feel better and take it easy by the time he got back to working on the hextech.

even though he was almost asleep, you murmured soft praises to the man, including quiet ‘i love you’s,’ hoping it eased his mind. he fell asleep happy and peacefully in your arms, knowing he was loved and perfect in your eyes.

[ms-demeanor]

So a couple days ago, as part of the work shit show, you posted something to the effect of "I'm going to need to create a How To Find Hardware document for work, so I'll also put it on Tumblr." While I, a Tumblr user, love getting valuable information for free, I will caution you (and others in a similar situation) that most US employment contracts consider anything you create while on the clock to be a "work for hire" and is therefore owned by the company. This can be documents, software code, or more tangible objects. Some companies are total assholes about this, and take it even further than "when on the clock" and will try to assert that anything you invent during the years you are an employee can be patented or trademarked or copyrighted by the company. Exercise caution when giving work documents to the internet; sometimes managers that seem totally rational while you work for them get vengeful when you put in your notice for greener pastures.

Like you, I work in tech, and I have witnessed greed over intellectual property. There are still ways to share your knowledge.

Apologies if you already know this, and I just read your post incorrectly!

Thanks for checking in and good looking out!

The funny thing is it's kind of going to be the opposite of me writing for the company and then sharing with the internet; I'm going to be editing and repurposing a big chunk of writing I've been working on for the internet to adapt it to the company and I'm going to take that as the excuse to also work more on the thing that I've been wanting to put up online for a while.

This is also how the Password Manager guide that I've offered to the company would work; heavily editing something that I've already written and offering it to the business while taking time to finish the very different guide for an internet audience.

To be clear, these will be demonstrably different (and legally distinct). For instance, this is one of the covers that I've made for the password manager book:

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: Your joint cooking🥞🤍

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Kang Dae Ho x Reader(f), Gang No Eul x Reader(f), Nam Gyu x Reader(f), Le Myung Gi x Reader(f)

A/N: I hope you like it!

🤍🤍🤍

Cho Hyun Ju

You and your girlfriend cook very often, except in the morning, because she always wakes up earlier than you, so she cooks breakfast for yourself and for you.

For you, cooking is like a way to spend your dates. Only there is one but: she is great at cooking, and you... you try, but most often you don't succeed, especially complex dishes. Because of this, you sometimes have arguments, the reason is that Hyun Ju tries to teach you and tells you how to do it right, but you don't like it.

- Hyunnie! Don't tell me! I'm not small! I can do it myself! - you shouted when she told you again that you were cutting vegetables incorrectly.

- Baby, calm down, I just want to help. You cut vegetables coarsely, and you need smaller ones. - she explained, the girl was always calmer than you, so she didn't agree to provocations.

- So, if I don't do it like that, then do everything yourself, I won't interfere! - you threw a knife on the table and were about to leave, but Hyun Ju gently grabbed you, gave you back the knife and also took it, helping you cut correctly.

- Shsh, baby, don't be angry, now we'll do everything together. - she carefully guided your hand and you calmed down, noticing it, she kissed you on the lips.

- I love you, Hyunnie.

- And I love you, baby, and now don't be distracted.

Kang Dae Ho

The guy grew up with four older sisters, who taught him to cook very well. You also knew how to cook well, as you have been fond of it since childhood. Since you both work, the two of you cook only in the evenings and on weekends. While cooking, you joke a lot, bask like two kittens and argue a little, but the guy knows how to calm you down at this moment. He will gently kiss you and you will become like a silky.

- Honey, what do you want for dinner today? - he asks when he finally came back from work, you were always waiting for him, because you didn't want to cooking without him.

- I want chicken for dinner, I even thawed it while I was waiting for you.

- Oh, and I didn't notice her! Then let's start, because I'm hungry. - you can also cook to different music, sometimes dancing in the process.

Fun fact: you have a pair of funny aprons that you bought for your anniversary.

Gang No Eul

Before meeting you, she had never cooked with anyone, she was used to doing everything alone and in silence. Therefore, when you offered to cook dinner together, No Eul did not want to agree, but under your sweet eyes she gave up and in the end you cooked with her. Although the first time it didn't turn out very nice, as the girl often grumbled at you because you bothered her a little, you liked it. We spent time together after all. Your girlfriend also liked it quite well, she didn't even pay attention to the fact that she sometimes swore during the process, she just got used to working alone.

Since she liked it, now she often began to invite you to join the cooking, and you are only happy about it.

- Come with me. - she said briefly, the girl was not a master to talk much. Everything is short and to the point.

- Why? - although you asked, but you still followed her and when you came to the kitchen, everything became clear to you.

- I want to cook dinner for us now, so I want you to help me. - she said with a small smile, you only shone brightly at it.

The evening promised to be very nice.

Nam Gyu

The guy didn't know how to cook at all. Instead, he ordered all kinds of home deliveries or hoped for you, as everything turned out very tasty. But one day he peeped that it was very romantic when a couple cooks together and decided to offer you, you agreed. But it was a mistake.

The guy literally dropped everything out of his hands. You understood that he was not on purpose, but your patience is not rubber. The last straw of yours was that he didn't look the steaks, they burned, very much.

- Oh.. I didn't want to! - he began to justify himself, quickly turning off the stove, you boiled with anger.

- That's it! I eat regular sandwiches, and you eat these steaks yourself! And don't come to me with help during cooking anymore, otherwise you can burn the house. - you replied angrily. The guy really ate these burnt steaks through tears.

Nam Gyu still likes to offer his help to you, but you refuse outright, although sometimes you give him tasks, such as setting the table for dinner, fortunately, he copes well with this work.

Le Myung Gi

You have a great couple. Both don't really like to cook. Your boyfriend suggested not to worry about it and just order food delivery, but you told him that it was very harmful to health and said that both would cook dinner together. He was not sure of the correctness of your decision, but still agreed.

It was hard, a lot of quarrels and screams. In most cases, you shouted when the guy was confused in the little things, and he shouted in response to you, because you are not a chef yourself.

- Well, pancakes will burn! Make the fire smaller!

- Don't shout under my arm! I'm going to ruin everything because of you!

- Ah, because of me! - you wanted to lightly hit him in the shoulder, but changed your mind when you saw that the guy still managed to make a pancake normally.

Still, you need to trust him more and shout less.

🤍🤍🤍

[ahappydnp]

dan and phil seem to understand phandom quite well but do you think there are things that they don’t get (yet?) at the moment?

oh my fucking god where do i start

i think sometimes they revert back to the assumption that we only care about their romantic relationship/we want more than they're comfortable showing and we're only around for them to ~perform~ the ship for us? especially when they are a bit more vulnerable and gentle with each other, obviously we react and get very excited because they're just. a stunning example of what could be and a beacon of joy for queer people but i get that for them the reactions can still feel like people screaming PHAN IS REAL when they made eye contact. but like...it's just not and it never was that for so many people? i do think they fundamentally understand the difference and have said they appreciate the support, but sometimes you can just feel the walls going back up just a bit (which is fair, easily startled feral cats vibes) but like!!! i don't want you to fuck on youtube actually!!!

them going from (incorrectly) assuming the entire fanbase was 14 to now incorrectly assuming the entire fanbase is 22 when they've literally talked about half their demographic stats being their age or older!!! blah blah blah it was the loudest demographic and most vocal and the whole 'dan and phil are my dads' thing but it's also a self fulfilling prophecy when they don't speak to their own age demographic and constantly pull focus to younger crowds this isn't necessarily a bad thing but i know it used to bother dan in particular when it was kind of his own doing like girl why were you making school exam videos in 2016 asdafsdgjk i think also hanging out in pjs streams where he vibes with his own demographic more is so chill and nice and i think dnp would also really enjoy that? like the peers instead of parental vibes

"OMG THEY TOUCHED" IS AN INSIDE JOKE WE ARE ALSO IN ON BTW

semi related to that but i think they sometimes forget we're just as sarcastic as them? like dnp make a joke and then we joke back and then they're like "ugh you guys didn't get it we were joking obviously :/" (lovingly)

[jiraisupportgroup]

♡ Hair Care Tips for Hard Times ♡

Hair care is hard! Especially now that "clean girl" and similar things are super popular, everyone seems to have a 10+ step hair care routine and that is exhausting (/hyp).

Don't be afraid to have a basic routine! There is absolutely no shame in skipping extras like leave-in conditioner or oils, depending on your hair type you honestly might not even need them.

This post is mostly aimed towards bare basic "I cannot get myself into the shower but need to take care of my hair" tips for maintaining hair outside of the shower. Because of this (even though I just said skip all the extras), it does talk about leave-in conditioners, oils, etc, but mostly as an outside-of-the-shower alternative to conditioners, or as a way to freshen up in between showers.

On another note: I tried to add additional tips for textured hair because I know care can be very different. I spent a lot of time poking around Reddit for more tips, but if I worded anything incorrectly, or if you have more tips that you use, let me know! I'd love to edit or add to this with more tips you guys have!

♡ Greasy or in need of refreshing ♡

⟡ If you're feeling a bit more motivated, but not prepared to take a full shower, try washing your hair while sitting down in the shower or on the edge of the tub. Forget about leave-in conditioners, oils, etc, just do the basic shampoo -> conditioner -> done. Make it as easy for yourself as possible. If you need to use a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner combination, do it! They aren't the best for your hair, but if it makes the process easier for you, do it. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, do whatever you can to make it easier for yourself to get it done.

⟡ For some people, washing your hair in the sink works well since you don't have to worry about the rest of your body getting wet, and you can leave your clothes on. I recommend putting a towel over your shoulders and using a larger sink if possible (I have most definitely washed my hair in the kitchen sink before).

⟡ If you have thicker or more textured hair, the washing process can be exhausting sometimes. Sometimes running cool or lukewarm water through your hair just to wash off your scalp, then applying a light oil or leave-in conditioner to the ends to keep them hydrated can help freshen up without taking up too much of your day.

⟡ Dry shampoo is your best friend. You can use store-bought aerosols, or sprinkle cornstarch or baby powder onto your scalp, let it sit for a few minutes, then brush out the excess or if your hair is thicker you can shake it out over a bathtub to get the extra out. With thicker or more textured hair it can help to part your hair into sections so it can get to your scalp more easily.

⟡ Wetting and running your fingers through your hair just to fluff it up or break it up can help with upkeep, especially if you don't have the energy for (or your hair doesn't do well with) brushing it out.

♡ Dry or tangling easily ♡

⟡ If your hair is really dry at the ends (sometimes dry shampoo can dry out your hair a little too well), you can use a leave-in conditioner, or a little bit of an oil like jojoba oil or coconut oil to bring some moisture back into it. I recommend getting your hair a little bit wet for this, or diluting the oil with water and spraying it on your hair for better absorption. This can also help with keeping your hair pattern better, if you have wavy hair it can lose it's bounce if it's too dry, if you have textured hair it can lose it's fluff or be hard to style if it dries out, don't be afraid to oil those ends!

⟡ Oils or conditioners can also help prevent hair from tangling as easily. Dry or damaged hair can tangle much easier than moisturized hair, so keeping it a little oily can help prevent really bad tangling.

⟡ Be careful with straighteners! Depending on your hair type straightening it can make it a bit easier to maintain, but it can dry your hair out soooo much, especially if it is already damaged. Use a low setting and try to put just a little oil in the ends to keep them from tangling.

⟡ NOTE: When I say a little oil I mean a little. Like a teeny tiny bit, the least you can get away with using. This depends on your hair type, but especially if you have thinner hair you don't want to get into a cycle where you use dry shampoo because it's greasy and then you use too much oil and it gets greasy again. This is something you'll feel out as time goes on.

♡ Hairstyles or hiding ♡

⟡ Using bonnets or wrapping your hair in an old t-shirt while you sleep can help keep it from getting too tangled, losing texture, breaking, or losing moisture. It also helps keep your hair out of your way and off of your mind for a while.

⟡ For thinner hair, consider putting it into a ponytail or braid if it is long enough to keep it all together and out of your way. Try not to tie it too tightly, and stay away from those little rubber band-type holders if you can, using a thicker hair tie will help keep your hair from getting stuck in it, and will make it easier to take it down in the future. Try to take it down and put it back up if it starts getting tangled, I usually aim for about once a day if I can but I've definitely left my hair in braids for 4 days at a time before taking it out and re-doing it.

⟡ For thicker hair or more textured hair you have a few more options. Ponytails and buns work great, or you might consider braids or twists just to keep maintenance a bit lower for a while. This can be a lengthy process so ask friends or family for help! You also don't have to do it all at one time. Depending on what style you're doing you may be able to pull it up and wrap it with a scarf when you go out, or if you're braiding it sometimes you can wrap the braids you have done around the unbraided part to make a little braid bun situation.

⟡ If you're not feeling up to putting it up like that, or you want to just wrap it up and not think about it, things like headbands, scarves, beanies, hats, etc are great options. When I shaved my head I would wear beanies 24/7 and I didn't worry about hair maintenance until it was about shoulder length again because I just didn't know what to do with it T_T. But! No one even knew that I didn't brush it for like 6 months (I also was very grunge at the time so it fit the theme).

♡ Tackling matted hair ♡

⟡ If your hair is badly tangled but not quite matted, use a detangling spray, let it sit for a few minutes, then go in with a wide tooth comb first to break up the hair, then a thinner brush (like a wet brush) to continue brushing. Start from the ends and work up, hold the hair above where you’re brushing to avoid pulling on your scalp, and apply more spray as needed. Do this in a comfortable place like the couch or your bed, and have something to entertain yourself during this process like a movie or music or YouTube video, whatever you can do to make this process as bearable and comfortable as possible.

⟡ If your hair is matted (thick hard chunks of hair) it’s a bit more of a process. Do not panic, do not beat yourself up, it happens, it’s okay. It’s honestly more common than you would think, especially in people with depression or fatigue. Start with wetting the hair, do not try to use shampoo or wash it, just get it wet, then slather it with either a deep conditioning conditioner or a hair mask mixed with an oil like jojoba oil or coconut oil (or mineral oil surprisingly enough; works well for detangling but it can be kind of hard to get out of the hair afterward), and a little bit of apple cider vinegar. Let it sit for about 30 minutes, you want to give your hair time to soak up all the moisture it can. Take your hands and break apart the larger chunks into sections, if this causes tearing or hurts, leave that section alone and move on to another section or brushing. Take a hard brush (like a wet brush or a tangle teezer - really just don’t use a bristle brush) and start from the bottom. It can be hard to tell where the bottom of a mat is, just start from whatever part of it is furthest away from your scalp. During this process a lot of hair will come out, most of this is hair that has already fallen out and is trapped inside of the mat, don’t worry, you’re not balding or ripping your hair out. Apply more oils as needed, break the larger chunks into smaller ones when you can, and have patience! This is a lengthy and frustrating process, it might even feel like you’re not getting anywhere at times but I promise with time you will get there. You don’t have to do this all in one session either. If you can break it into smaller mats, just focus on one of the chunks at a time & go from there. If you can, ask for help! Friends or family, anyone who is willing to hang out and watch movies and brush your hair for a while, it is so much easier with just a little help. You might be surprised at who is willing to help you out (like one of my coworkers recently came over to help me clean my apartment and I really didn't expect her to, it was super nice! No shame in asking, the worst that will happen is they'll say no or they're busy, don't sweat it!)

Thank you for reading ~

Hopefully, some of these tips can help out! Don't forget that you're not alone! I sit writing this with hair that hasn't been properly washed in about 2 weeks so fear not! You're not gross or lazy or anything like that, sometimes it's just hard!

If you have any additional tips or edits feel free to message me or pop them in the comments below!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[birdofmay]

In that vein... (No, the following is not about autism or ADHD)

TL;DR: Using medical terms as insults or otherwise misusing medical terms (even as a joke) leads to uninformed people thinking they have to stop saying these words and creating new words. Either because they think the old term isn't precise enough anymore or because they incorrectly think that we're insulted by the old word.

The constant appearance of new words is confusing to people who struggle to learn new words. It excludes them from participating in discussions about their own condition.

We have to be more sensitive regarding possible repercussions and stop unnecessary discourse by uninformed people.

In Germany, the official word for my disability ID card category and the assessment is "Hirnschädigung", which literally translates to brain damage/damaged brain. And that's a neutral description, nothing outdated.

But many many people have been asking if someone has brain damage whenever they wanted to insult someone who is either slow on the uptake or who just made a very strange or silly suggestion, for example. They used it as an insult all the time, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not.

This is why now a lot of people ask "Uh, can we still say that in the 21st century? Shouldn't we change "brain damage" to something nicer? Isn't that word insulting?" when actually no, it isn't. (Of course you still shouldn't use that term if someone directly tells you they don't want to be called that)

It's the same with "disabled". People used and still use "disabled" and "dumb" synonymously in Germany. So now, well-meaning politicians and even advocates create all kinds of euphemisms because they think that disabled people will be offended by the word "disabled". Because some people use it as an insult.

When I say I'm disabled in German ("behindert"), people flinch. They think I just insulted myself. But no, "behindert" is a normal medical word, it's in the name of our disability ID card. Even more, the literal translation is "severely disabled person's pass", there's a "severe" accompanying the word "disabled". They flinch even more when I say I'm severely disabled.

"Disorder" has a negative connotation because it's been used as an insult. "Disabled" has a negative connotation because it's been used as an insult. People mixed up schizophrenia and DID and now many think that "feeling schizophrenic" is a sophisticated way to say that you feel conflicted.

The pattern is always the same: People use normal medical words either as insults or in an unrelated, non-medical way, and as a result well-meaning but uninformed advocates create "nicer" sounding words because they think the original word is either outdated or offensive. Or they think "Now that everyone misuses it, we need a new word for the medical term so that there are no misunderstandings."

In both cases, "our" words were successfully co-opted and we have to learn 10 new words to know that people talk about our conditions.

Unfortunately, not everyone sees 10 new words for their condition and intuitively picks up the meaning and knows what everyone's talking about. Sometimes words are hard. Sometimes it's hard to learn all these words and then be told by some uninformed activist that we shouldn't call ourselves what we've always called ourselves.

And what kind of people sometimes struggle with learning new words? People with cognitive impairments. People with brain damage. People who had a stroke. People who survived a ruptured aneurysm.

If you hear "Please stop saying you have a stroke or an aneurysm", etc., did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not because we're offended, but because we don't want these words to get negative connotations? Whenever something gets a negative connotation, there's a possibility for it to be seen as a slur and that would lead to 10 new words to learn because uninformed activists think the original term is offensive or not precise enough.

When I say "Hey, please stop saying you have a stroke when you don't understand something", I'm not offended and I'm not saying it's ableist. I've just noticed enough patterns to be quite sure that at some point there'll be an uninformed well-meaning advocate who suggests a new word for stroke survivors because they think the old word isn't precise enough anymore.

And I don't know if there are enough stroke survivors on social media who could stop this new word and mindset from reaching other uninformed advocate spaces...

[omnium-gatherums]

"DID is most often hidden and unnoticeable" as in "MANY symptoms of DID, including the symptom of switching from one alter to another, are easily passed off as something else more 'normal' and not readily understood as switching from one alter to another" but you people seem to think that it means "alters don't really have differences actually and if you're allowing yourselves as different alters to know yourselves and express yourselves, you're lying/faking/wrongly self-diagnosed/glorifying DID/romanticizing DID-"

What part of dissociative IDENTITY disorder don't you understand?

You see someone with DID simply existing as themselves (alters existing as themselves) and see someone faking or roleplaying DID or wrongly self-diagnosing or "making DID their whole identity" when really it is literally no different from somebody expressing a side of themself to a friend that they otherwise feel scared to express. It is literally just self-expression.

Tea is an alter in my system who is extremely hyperactive, energetic, exciteable. She stands out. And one of the first times she was fronting in therapy, when I was noticing how different I was and how hyperactive I was, I felt embarrassed and switched immediately. And then many months later, the next time Tea was fronting, and me and our therapist realized it was her who was fronting, we didn't switch! We/she, felt safe and okay enough to behave the ways she does. I didn't switch in order to not behave in those "weird" ways, and I didn't try to suppress the ways I wanted to behave and just Be.

This is huge! It was a huge thing for us in that therapy session. And we've only been continuing our journey with finding ourselves, finding out who we are, and allowing myself to "be" "different."

Alters expressing themselves differently is merely allowing yourself the right to self-expression. It is allowing yourself to truly "be cringe." It is allowing yourself to know yourself. To know who you really are. It is an important and huge aspect of recovery with DID.

Alters are not Nothing, that is an entire aspect of this brain's identity that could not integrate into the rest of the brain's identity.

You people continue to see DID as "the actual person versus the alters that just influence that Real person" when it is more like "all of us are That Real Person. That Real Person is different alters sometimes" like people will say these things about DID being treated like an "identity quirk" just because you see an alter expressing themself when in reality what you are doing is not that different from someone making fun of some kid because they're pretending to be a cat.

You are seeing somebody with DID merely expressing an aspect of their identity, merely expressing themself, and that's bad to you because you continue to incorrectly view DID as "the actual, real person and their alters" when those alters ARE "the real person", just dissociated into its own box.

You continue to see "The actual person, the Host, who is actually a person, oh they can express themselves! :)" but it's suddenly bad when it's not what you think is "the host/the Real/Actual Person" because, again, you people are continuing to incorrectly view alters as these Side things that just pop up and they can't self-express or have their own names or have hobbies and interests or Tumblr side blogs and act like that's bad and it means someone is "roleplaying DID" or faking or "romanticizing" when it is LITERALLY, and I mean this SO literally. It is LITERALLY just expressing another side of yourself.