Tumgik
#I left everything behind for this reason
oglegoggle · 2 years
Text
I would like to have my neck and chest kissed. I would like to feel another’s arms wrapped around me. I would like to rest comfortably against somebody. I would like to have my body rubbed where it aches the most from old wounds and the general stress of life. I would like to experience gentle and tender love. I would like to feel at peace. I would like to feel safe. I would like to live with someone who will put as much effort into me as I would like to put into them. I would like to have my needs respected and health & well-being considered. I would like to have a support who will stand with me when I need it the most. I would like to not feel so alone against the world.
0 notes
mishy-mashy · 3 months
Text
3 reasons I can think of, for why the first Three vestiges were too hard to find information on
[Reason 1]
The time they were born in.
Their births, and any records of them, could just be completely undocumented or non-existent.
They were born in times where systems and governments were down, and it's everyone for themselves.
Tumblr media
People aren't going to register their existence, especially the Metas, when they all want to stay under the radar and hide from everyone else.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If you're in the middle of a war zone that spread to where you live, and your baby brother was just born, are you really going to go [Oh no! I have to register his birth for that sweet sweet child tax!]?
Or something like that. But still.
There are more important things, like survival, than registering a baby's birth and going through hospital paperwork. And it's been explicitly stated that the first appearance of Abilities caused a Great Depression all over Japan.
The government is gone. There's no point in registering anything anymore.
Yoichi was literally born at a riverside, and never went to a hospital. By the time the first Three are toddlers / young children, Japan is already chaos and up in flames.
Tumblr media
Children are actively avoided because they're the most likely to be Meta Humans. No one wants anything to do with them.
Chances are, the records about the first Three never existed, or were destroyed in all the strife.
Or maybe, if some did exist, Kudo destroyed them. I can see him doing that, to protect themselves from AFO or anyone else having the chance to track their personal histories down.
It makes them ghosts. Exactly what would be best for not only their own survival, but anyone affiliated with them. Like family. It makes them untraceable, and invisible to bodies of old authority.
[Reason 2]
The three were a part of the Resistance. They could've kept information about themselves under lock and key, to protect themselves.
Like how Kudo is referred to as Leader, and never by his real name. Even in the void, up to the very end, Bruce still says "Leader" to address him.
Tumblr media
I actually HC them as using codenames in the Resistance, exactly to protect themselves from each other, and outsiders. This makes Yoichi an anomaly among them, for going by his real name. Meanwhile,
Leader, Boss = their leader
Bruce = a reference to his Quirk
Codenames about their Meta Abilities, or roles in their cause, to better remember whose nickname belonged to who.
Outsiders won't know the Resistance members' real names. The Resistance can't betray each other by selling each other out for personal information as easily, if no one knows each other's actual names.
At the same time, this alienates them from who they are, and their humanity. They have to make tough choices that would classify them as monsters. And they're locking themselves under a false name.
They're protecting themselves from everything and everyone, including themselves. At least the person committing all these atrocities is [CODENAME], not me.
[Reason 3]
Bruce, when he was supposed to pass previous information to Shinomori, couldn't.
Maybe he didn't have enough time to tell Shinomori the whole story.
Or maybe he did, and passed on the previous holders' histories, but Shinomori didn't pass those on himself.
Or maybe reminiscing Yoichi and Leader as actual people just broke him, and he could only stick to the bare minimum of the history of this Factor.
Notably, the OFA story is known as "All For One's younger brother was sickly and frail, but he had a strong sense of justice."
Tumblr media
We never, ever hear Yoichi's name in the spoken history of OFA. All Might couldn't even get their names. And since AFO hides himself so easily, and birth records just don't exist for him as an undocumented birth, Yoichi legally doesn't exist even as a birth.
Bruce is the first one to find the existence of Yoichi's "unformed dud". The Factor that let him pass on his current Quirk to others. How could the information of that dud be passed on, if not from Bruce?
Somewhere, the information breaks during Bruce or Shinomori's turn with OFA.
Bruce never passed on their names. Or maybe Shinomori didn't. But their names weren't necessary to pass on anymore. All Might only managed to dredge what he could, starting from the time society started trying to stand on its feet. Exactly because that's as far as the records went.
[Reason 2] could add credence to why the first Three's names were never passed on. Bruce could've kept quiet about Yoichi and Leader's personal details, not just to help himself stay together, but to protect anything they might've left behind.
113 notes · View notes
rcmclachlan · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
what if i put my life in your hands? what if i took your life in mine?
#okay look there's a reason i've been obsessed with this scene for 21 slutty slutty years#imagine for a second you're yue#your master—whom you loved more than your own existence—decided his work was finished and didn't need you anymore#and he pushed you into the dark where you slept for centuries until a little girl woke you up by sheer dumb luck#you now are trapped in this horrible new era where everything is too loud and too fast and too bright#you're also trapped in a body that isn't yours jockeying for room with a completely separate soul that you don't know or particularly like#and you're draining your meager stores of magic to the dregs in order to keep the two of you alive#under the surface of tsukishiro yukito you're drowning—and the both of you are fading away entirely#and then this boy#pulls you to the surface of yourself#and says with his whole heart 'i won't let you disappear'#he smiles at you and teases you and then pours his not inconsiderable power into you#and you take and you take and you take and he never says stop#he never says only a little but no more#he holds you close and lets you sup on the very marrow of his magic until there's nothing left and he's simply an ordinary human#and for the first time in centuries—perhaps ever—you feel full#when you finally step away and ease his unconscious body onto the bed as gently as you can manage#you murmur that you ought to thank him#but it's such an inadequate way to convey your gratitude#how do you give thanks for what you've made him lose?#you put your life in his hands and he cradled it as if it were precious... and then he gave you his own in return#in the world before this one you would have been as good as wed#you thumb the swell of his cheek and allow yourself one last look at your would-be husband#and then turn around to face the threat behind the door#as it creaks open to reveal a little body wracked with sobs you think you would face anything that would dare come for him or his sister#not because it is your duty as the guardian of the cards#but because you love them#touya/yue#ccs#yue
57 notes · View notes
Text
Not hotd fandom driving out yet another talented artist. Why is this fandom so hateful, I don't understand! ;_;
Let people have fun and play, and be kind. For fucks sake.
7 notes · View notes
someweirdoreblogger · 4 months
Text
I want to rant about Buddha and how important it is to note that, for one of the least burdened men on Earth, who explicitly prides himself in natural solitude, independent of connection and influence, is one of the most responsible people in not only in Ragnarök but across the realms.
I want to.
So badly.
9 notes · View notes
djsangos · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)
okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while
these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him
so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.
and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.
and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.
i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.
#headcanons#muse lore#jesus chirst this is a fucking novel and a half#but also i wanna say i think the reason captain is so fiercely loyal and 'no squid left behind' with their current found family#is because they'll die before repeating their perceived mistake with their siblings#tbcf to them they were only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD and were NOT equipped to raise 2 younger siblings#so it's fully understandable why they would dip as soon as they could from the situation.#they loved their siblings. they did everything they could. but they reached their breaking point. so they left that house before they broke#they DO feel a lot of guilt over it but they've never tried to go back and find them for multiple reasons- the guilt being one of them#but also when it comes to their father: i likely won't incorporate him into the blog in any way more than a mention or a flashback#he was a single father of 3 and he did an absolute shrimpshit job of it.#should've gotten help with parenting from someone OTHER than his oldest barely teenaged child#though he pushed the parenting role onto them long before they reached their teen years#anyway what the fuck am i talking about#wrote ANOTHER WHOLE ESSAY IN HTE TAGS I'M SORRY#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BACKSTORY I'VE BEEN CRAFTING FOR THIS SQUID BEHIND THE SCENES#but anyway my point with these tags is: it's a very complicated family dynamic#all these squids are fucked up but at least they're out of that house now#i DO want to incorporate them into the blog somehow i'm just not sure when/how yet#ooc
8 notes · View notes
waitineedaname · 4 months
Text
absolutely fucked up thinking about how both jiang cheng and jiang yanli have codependent abandonment issues and their worst fears are their family falling apart and being left behind, and what does wei wuxian do? he fucking leaves
12 notes · View notes
loptrcoptr · 10 months
Text
Just finished s4 ep 12 of moonlighting and like. I know I say something along these lines after every single episode of this show but what in the cinnamon toasted fuck was that
Never in my life have I sympathized with any human beings more than I sympathize with the folks who watched this shit in real time in 1987 and had to endure this jack fuckery. I literally cannot imagine the screaming I would have done if my ass had waited around through weeks of reruns for stunts like this. Any of yall who did this the first time around are my heroes because I am losing my will over here holy god. Did you break your tv sets? Rip up the tv guide? I felt the ghost of Rage Quitting past as soon as the episode ended like it was imprinted onto the reels from y’all’s original agony lmfao
26 notes · View notes
aforgottenthing · 1 year
Text
do you ever think about the fact that the entire phoenix wright: ace attorney trilogy happens because gregory edgeworth dies.
#I just… that one event… is the reason for everyone else#gregory dying is the reason miles moves away and eventually becomes the demon prosecutor which is the reason why Phoenix starts taking law#classes and Gregory dying is the reason why the fey family’s name gets sullied and is the reason why misty hides away which is the reason#why mia starts looking into the dl-6 case which is the reason she becomes a lawyer which is now she meets Phoenix which is when he sees how#much faith she puts in her clients and how it saved him which is why he fully switches to law and becomes a lawyer. and the whole reason mia#met Phoenix is bc he met dahlia Hawthorne and the entire reason he met dahlia is bc he just happened to be at the courthouse at that#one specific day bc he was doing personal research into the law bc he kept seeing miles edgeworth demon prosecutor and he wanted to save#him. and the entire reason dahlia was there was bc she was cleaning up lose ends from the fawles case which only happened bc her father left#her mother and took her and Iris away. and he left their mother bc she was Morgan fey and her power and influence was gone bc 1. she was#simply the lesser sister and 2. her family name was ruined and power was the only reason he was with her. and so her left and took his#daughters and remarried and dahlia convinced him to leave Iris behind and then. and then. and then.#just. GOD it’s so insane. the Phoenix Wright trilogy is SO well written EVERYTHING is connected#anyway. sometimes I think about the fact that the entire series happens bc gregory edgeworth is killed. and I go insnae.#also I love a good Gregory lives au as much as the next person. and like. would miles have ended up so much more well adjusted?#probably yeah! but literally NONE of these characters would be the same if he lived. god. it’s crazy.#ace attorney#ace attorney trilogy#Phoenix Wright#miles edgeworth#Mia fey#Maya fey#gregory edgeworth#phoenix wright ace attorney#manfred von karma#franziska von karma#dahlia hawthorne
51 notes · View notes
maiaacchiato · 1 year
Text
thinking thoughts
#mia's ramblings#thinking abt that one time i was so uncomfortable with my friend's pda thing that i left them behind at the koi pond#like i literally just. stood up. started walking away#i still have no idea why it made me uncomfortable and even now just thinking about it makes me sick#for some reason idrk#also thinking about those times where i was so mentally exhausted from everything that i didnt have the energy to stand up so i just#didnt go to school#obviously i told people i was “sick” or “masakit pakiramdam ko” etc which i mean#its a half truth? atleast ???#and thinking about how i just want to avoid Her bc i do Not want to be dealing with their relationship problems at 6am but yk#the moment she starts up conversation i just#put those thoughts at the back of my head and pretend like im not fucking tired of her bullshit#i could be so. mentally drained. to the point that i just avoid everyone by going to coop on my own or going to 7-11 just to Breathe#but the moment someone talks to me like jack or salve or heck even kui my brain just. forces itself to act “normal” and by normal i mean no#-mentally drained yk?#like the moment literally anyone starts talking to me the thoughts of being mentally tired just get pushed back and idrk how to tell people#-that im mentally exhausted without sounding rude so i just#let my brain just bottle it up until im so tired mentally that i literally cannot function#i think its called being overstimulated? yea#which yeah basically this shit happens every. day. until my brain just goes nope youre shutting down no school for today also youre getting#-a fever too#which like??? idk why it happens???#and its not like i dont want to talk to them either#like#obviously i do#but talking to anyone when im like this makes it feel like an obligation#which fucking sucks because i dont like being obligated to do stuff i just want to do it because well#i want to??#and i feel bad for peewee bc usually he'll talk to me when im at my limit so my responses are very short and yea#this is why i always say 'im tired' whenever people ask how im doing
21 notes · View notes
fragmentedblade · 9 months
Text
Also, Ruan Mei was the one who lent the Phase Flame to Ratio, wasn't she?
#That Ratio and her were working together seemed to be the case since we first found him but idk#Ruan Mei plays dumb when we ask about him but I thought it was clear that she did know him#Herta also pretends she doesn't know him for some reason#cringefail acquaintance#Jokes aside I wonder why they did that. Is it because they both are ehm working behind each other's back#(Herta when it comes to the IPC‚ the SU and the bet‚ Ruan Mei kind of with everything)‚ or is it due to some other more complex reason?#Based on we've seen thus far I do think Ratio and Ruan Mei were working together in something#and that she was in the known of at least some things. Perhaps not everything#She seems to care about things beyond her research even less than Herta does#But given what we're told it seems fair to conclude the fire Ratio had was given to him by Ruan Mei#Herta said Ruan Mei needed it for some research. So either she didn't need it anymore and didn't mind giving it to Ratio afterwards#or maybe what Ratio was doing was something she was a part of. Or did Ratio steal it when he was around the seclusion zone?#I'm not inclined to think that tbh it seems to me Ruan Mei must have been knowingly implied. Yet now she owes Herta a favour#Which is more valuable according to Herta. This quest has left me very curious about the development of all this#Screwllum suspected Ratio since the beginning. I wonder if he suspects Ruan Mei too#Ruan Mei's line about Screwllum makes it seem like they don't get along too well I think. I have so many questions xD#I am very curious about all this‚ satisfied and potentially excited. Not yet excited but I sure have hopes for an exciting development haha#Maybe it will all end up being nothing but the relationships between the characters in the Genius Society (especially these three)#seems kind of messy and that intrigues me. The relationship the three of them have with Ratio seems intriguing too#Any iteration of these dynamics seems to be very interesting#Maybe it will all end up being nothing or I may be misreading or seeing more than there is but I am looking forwards to knowing more#I talk too much#Traces
7 notes · View notes
dylanlila · 8 months
Note
Tumblr media
jo/mal things (also my favorite tbai line)
yeah i don't think that's entirely true for me
5 notes · View notes
fiendishartist2 · 6 months
Text
guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.
#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls#okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases#one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes#''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it''#so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars#and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get-#-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth#and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand)#but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude-#-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl#anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it-#-from like prayers#so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you''#so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore#but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since-#-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it#for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid-#-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo-#-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3#i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted-#-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives#like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them#or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings#or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each-#-other anyways#i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life-#-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in#i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's#-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6
3 notes · View notes
munch-mumbles · 6 months
Text
ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
4 notes · View notes
attaboy-art · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
day 07: legacy
[Image ID: A darkly colored digital painting done with oil brushes of Alfendi Layton, from Layton Brothers Mystery Room, sitting at his desk in his office at dawn, as seen from the back corner of the room. He is sitting cross-legged with a cup of tea in his hands and he is blankly staring forwards. Behind him is a large window with the blinds half-down showing a grey dawn sky with mutliple buildings and Big Ben in within view. The same wall the window is on also has shelves, newspaper clippings, and a framed letter of apology addressed to Alfendi. In front of him is a messy desk with a lamp, a rotary phone, and a typewriter sitting on top, dimly shining in the light. /.End ID.]
#lb;mrweek#i know im late im sorry im so sorry#i spent tonight and last night looking for my cat up in the park for a couple of hours so i havent had much time to paint#but. I really didnt wanna miss the last day. So#fun fact i started seeing bugs on my ipad while drawing this#anyways. ANYWAYS its time for me to Explain My Reasoning#originally i had a ton of different sketches right. i couldnt choose which one i wanted to do for this prompt#one was of the layton fam greeting al post-game. one was a polaroid of lucy and al posing next to the letter of apology#and the last one was gonna be an abstract-ish portrait of al#but none of them were working with me so i decided. Actually. What do /I/ Think#basically. u know me u know im always on my poor little alfendi shit.#and i was like. well. post-game#post-game hes probably still reeling from everything that happened. Fendi that is but also Al#and hes probably just. like. Holy fuck. Holy shit man#after 4 long lonely years he's finally gotten his name cleared and has gotten an apology from the Nebulous Yard#but. its not like he can go back. Its not like hes going to pretend that none of those years ever happened#he cant forget that ostracization. the alienation. the demonization. The Izations#the wounds of being left behind cannot heal just yet. and thats okay#and its just. What really is al's legacy. He doesnt fight a big robot or save the world. He fought trauma. He fought suppression. And he won#and you KNOOOWWWW my babygirl is a workaholic. you know he stays at the office because its better than being surrounded by reminders at home#AND. LASTY.... dawn is a recurring motif in the laytonverse. dawn symbolizes the end. it symbolizes new beginnings and rebirth yadda yadda#lastly* good lord#so i reallt wanted to capture that feelinf of like. Pulling an all nighter when youre in a fucked up area of your life#and just looking at the grey skies above and thinking sunrise was supposed to be more worthwhile than this#hope u all enjoy. im going to hide my ipad and stylus in a safe for the next week#art#professor layton#lbmr#layton brothers mystery room#alfendi layton
40 notes · View notes
the-kipsabian · 2 years
Text
im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever
#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently#everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like#the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun#yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time#like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!!#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it#i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass#i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out#like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that#and theres no point doing that afterwards#and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just#mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about#and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes#sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it#and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone#i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just...#im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay#im gonna go now. im sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
8 notes · View notes