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tutuandscoot · 2 years

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If you met Tessa and Scott, what would you say to them or ask them? (Individually and together)

OOOFF!!

What a loaded question

I’m going to take this as “What would you ask if you got to interview them” because there’s no way in hell I would cope in a M+G situation I would be awkward AF, sweat, stutter, cry probably, most likely faint.. nah I need a few hours and half of that will be me trying not to sweat and cry.

You would not believe the amount of times I have fantasised about getting to interview them! I’m not saying I would be good at it but so often they always get asked the same questions and that’s partly the reason they give the same answers.. one thing I would manage to do though is not ask them about any “‘’’’’’’ relationship””””” stuff- at least the typical way it’s always asked

Also I have been secretly hoping someone would ask me this so I would have an excuse to post my answers coz honestly I feel like a dick just posting this fantasy of mine unprompted

I’m gonna say before hand that some of this stuff is probs too personal and I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to answer- like when I go to ask them I would likely say ‘if this is too personal you don’t have to answer’. I think if it was maybe asked in the right way or with the right intentions- which I don’t feel a lot of interviewers in general have, they would answer though. So anyway just saying that up front so I don’t have to say it in every third sentence below.

So for me there’s two main things I’m really interested to hear from them that I don’t feel they have ever discussed in depth.

1. I am really fascinated with their physical relationship. This is everything from technical partnering- dance, lifting etc, choreography and movement language, storytelling, and then physical intimacy including things like The Hug, their handhold (the handy holdy) and then just the way they handle each other- the softness, the gentlenesss, the heart eyes, the closeness. Then how all of this plays with their connection and communication and all the things they talk about that went into cultivating their partnership- how that manifests physically.

That is very wide reaching and I think I would need at least 3 hours just to talk about all of that stuff (I would legit need like 5 hours with both of them, then like an additional two hours each of them alone so they can brag about each other hahahahahahahah) but that’s where a lot of my fascination lies and none of those things I think they have really talked about in depth in any other interview. The first few points are because I’m (was) a dancer and worked a lot with partners, but I never had the opportunity to work with any one partner for a long time nor get to any kind of performance based physical intimacy/connection with (very few stage dancers do coz you never have just one partner your whole career, much less from the age of 7/9- you don’t usually start learning proper partnering till teenage years). The rest is the stuff we all go googly eyes about and you legit don’t see it with other couples (dance pairs and just couples in general). The way they handle each other is so insanely beautiful and I would want to know if they are aware of it or its just so natural they don’t realise.

So, lets break these down into actual questions/proper subsections/dot points to launch off from (coz if one of them starts saying something interesting I’m following them down that train of thought).

Q1:

A) Can you discuss the evolution of your partnering, how as you grew older, stronger and more mature that developed. B) In your book you talk about working with Cirque du Soleil performers to develop your lifts but is there more you can elaborate on that- how you created them, developing program/character specific lifts, transferring from floor to ice (maybe get them to talk about 3 examples of lifts: Pink Floyd serpentine lift, original Funny Face curve lift, Carmen/MR rotational lift). C) How much ballet/ballroom pdd/partnering training did you do off ice (throughout career) and how did that aid you on the ice- closeness and body positions, your movement in harmony is so superior, transferring those techniques to the ice and adapting them for the steps, turns, glide, physics etc.

Q2:

A) once you developed (and continued to develop) your partnering technique- your way of individually moving together as one along with things like lifts, as that trust, safety, comfort with each other grew as far as the physical, athletic component of the sport, how did you then develop your movement- I’m gonna say ‘language’ together? You have said that you felt you became known for having a certain ‘lyrical’ style, yet your body of work proves you are the most versatile team in history. Personally, watching you I feel your style really comes from a much deeper connection and understanding of this language in how you moved together- no matter the specific dance style. So what was developing that language like? Did you find it came naturally as you matured, found styles/music you latched (pun intended) onto? Did you have to refresh/refine/redefine it often/occasionally? (Like working with Jean Marc).

B) Did that language change a bit with each program or was it this constant that you took with you into each new piece? How did the process of developing characters affect the choreographic process- say with something like Carmen or MR, more character driven, and how did that differ to looser themed programs like say Mahler or Latch- where the story is less obvious but very important to the two of you in how you convey movement together. What role did improvisation play in discovering movement?From personal experience I know its always different, but did you find there was a natural rhythm and process to how you found movement together- when one of you move did the other naturally find how to hold or complement the other? I imagine after so long together less and less verbal communication was needed to find movement and your bodies just naturally found each other and moved for each other.

C) You’ve mentioned briefly previously about working with acting coaches, and how especially in the comeback you found this… slightly method-ish approach of starting your movement, interactions and emotion from within- letting how you each feel inform how you interact- along with using character driven prompts, and this allowed each time you danced/practiced it to feel different and in the moment, and like you were really having an experience with each other in the world of your program.. can you elaborate more on that- what was entailed in working with the acting coach, what kind of things did you do, what other acting techniques did you employ? Would you say, speak to each other as your characters, obviously dancing you are communicating through movement but did these kind of things help you in discovering and learning about your characters? I find the way you two dance everything is so informed by what the other does, in a somewhat spontaneous way as if you are really living it in the moment like it hasn’t happened yet (sorry I’m trailing off).

Q3:

A) So there’s these two things you guys do that is pretty unique to you as a team: First thing is The Hug. I know you’ve been asked about it a few times before and it became this quite fascinating process to watch. It must be such a hard thing to verbalise because, the meaning is so internal and emotional, what you’re doing is quite simple but I imagine there’s really a lot going on. So I know how that sort of ritual started but, I’m sure like your dancing and skating and partnership as a whole as you went through more and more experiences together, if you can put it into words what did that ritual of the hug come to symbolise? What else was going on within it? The idea of getting your heartbeats to synchronise is I think maybe the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, so did you ever get them to and maybe in your desire for achieving that… I don’t know I just have this idea in my head that when you started working with B2Ten through heart rate and blood pressure monitoring or whatever they were able to get you to synch up so quickly and efficiently- not so it became robotic, but so it became more automatic and you knew it was gonna be there but then also I can imagine it being your special ritual that was your’s and no one was allowed to touch it and whether some days its was easier or not it had to be this completely natural process.

B) The second thing is, and I’m fully aware this seems like an odd thing to notice and have thoughts about, but within the kind of nature and traditional ‘rules’ within your sport, is often when you guys would be stroking around the ice on like a practice or warm up, is you hold hands, like properly rather than dance hold like, pretty much all other teams do. And, on first glance it doesn’t seem like a big deal but when you notice no one else does it its quite obvious. Then when you watch more, you notice that you guys have to change back to dance hold for things like bows and getting into partnering, so it’s not super convenient-that’s why dance hold exists. But I also just think it’s so indicative of you guys being this TEAM.. like it just makes you appear so strong and together, and less like this distanced dance pair. I know you’ve said- in relation to your IWTHYH exhibition, that “holding each other’s hand is the most intimate thing two people can share”, and I thought that was so inspiring, and I think really says a lot about your partnership- that you can show your love for each other through the most simple of gestures. So I’m wondering was this a conscious decision to start holding hands like this, and progressively more and almost exclusively when you came back in 2016, or was it like with the hug it just happened one day and you found you really liked it a lot more than dance hold? Was it ever noticed by coaches or judges or officials etc and frowned upon? What do you feel that hand hold gave you? It feels like watching you there was just this sense of empowerment and invincibility- not immune to failure or anything, but you were just stronger. It feels very empowering.

Q4:

(this would be prefaced with “if its too personal…..”) So I’m really curious about the physical intimacy you guys share- not only on the ice but somewhat off ice too. From the outside it’s obvious you guys have this beautiful, caring loving relationship- that’s obviously more, or deeper then a normal friendship, but also because it’s platonic… it’s just so unique. And don’t know if you guys realise it.. I mean you know the way you are is not like other ID couples, and I’m not asking this from the pov of what most portrayed as ‘romance’ but the way you guys are with each other is so beautiful, like you’re so gentle with each other and just the way you hold each other and look at each other like the world could be ending around you and you wouldn’t blink. And when I see it I don’t think ‘romance’ I just see these two people, living so artistically and you just have this aura as if your souls are connected, when you’re together it’s like the air is thinner, or as you’ve said creating this bubble where you only see each other and that’s such a safe space. So I guess what I’m curious to know is what does that mean to both or you? Being able to be that way, so unashamedly, was it always that easy or when did it become easy? Whether it’s kinda in the context of a program practice or just, I guess it’s being each other’s support system and confidant. I know you’ve kinda called bs in the past at the idea that anything that you do is played up for the crowd or the judges- I mean there is that in ice dance of convincing the judges of chemistry- but you guys never needed to, so it really just seems like it comes from this place of overwhelming love and care for each other. I know you’ve both said that you are very sensitive people and I can kinda see that in the way you treat each other that your always so aware of the others feelings and energy. Its just really beautiful, and then you see that gentleness in your partnering as well. It’s an odd thing to explain.. S I remember you saying how when T came back after surgery and you were being so gentle with her, afraid she would break. I think that’s so sweet, but then in a way, it’s like that softness continued and you’re both that way with each other and it’s not out of fear of the other breaking, its just this care and kind of, protection of each other, almost on a spiritual level. I’m sorry this rambled on forever, so I guess this was just a long complement for the both of you but if you may I’d love to know what your thoughts on that are, if you were consciously aware of it, and I guess, if you miss it- being able to be that close and physically caring of each other. To watch from the outside it’s very emotional and, if I’m reading it right, the care you have for each other is so visceral, I just wonder if it felt that magical for the two of you, after so long it still seemed just as special and emotional.

Follow up: how do you reconcile the physical nature of your relationship - all that in between stuff- the not choreography or the performing, with how you are removed from that. I think the way you treat each other off ice- out of that ‘athletic partnership’ just as best friends is so beautiful, unique and full of love as well, but it is different- it inevitably is out of that athletic/artistic space. Do any of those moments linger with you once you leave the ice for the day? Do they cause conflicting emotions? Is it something that you feel content with keeping in your safe space on the ice or the studio?

*this question/comment would be something I would want to ask them separately as well- obviously word it more specifically for each of them. Full disclosure I would one million% feel awkward AF asking them this but I still really want to know and since there’s a 0.000000001% change of me actually getting to interview them I can just be here feeling my usual amount of awkward.

2. The other thing I’m really curious about is their unwavering commitment to each other. Their unbreakable loyalty. Truly why skating with someone else was never an option- like at all. Why they wouldn’t do DWTS or BOTB or perform one-off with other partners, let alone form a new competitive partnership. When that really started to set in that they would only do this with each other. Beyond the work they put in starting at a really young age of cultivating respect and strong work ethic, why they chose so early on to only be with each other. Do they consider their partnership to be this exclusive thing like that of making a vow to each other. The way they often talked and still talk about how special it was…

So I think these questions maybe a little briefer. These again are questions I would ask them both together and separately. There’s something interesting about this/these questions, the topic of them, I think this is something they would often discuss privately together, but feel less comfortable answering together. I’m not sure, I just know based on things they’ve said how they would talk openly about how they felt about each other and things like.. that they told each other their biggest fear was letting the other down, that they are happier for each other then themselves, or they care more for each other than themselves. Yes they have admitted saying this stuff (that’s how I know) but I wonder would a question like this- their commitment to each other be more openly answered separately then together- that they would discuss this stuff, how they feel privately together but not publicly together. Does that make sense??

Ok so some specific questions:

Q1: Can you discuss your commitment to each other? It’s so obvious based on the fact you never wanted to change partners, stuck with each other through injuries and semi-retirement, actual retirement, all the pressure and outside people nit picking at your partnership and off-ice relationship, protecting your amazing friendship and kinda companionship in each other for so much of your lives. The strength of your bond and commitment to each other just seems stronger then steel. You wouldn’t even do DWTS or BOTB- dance/skate professionally with other partners. Is your partnership to the both of you, somewhat of an exclusive- “marriage”- like commitment to each other-not an actual marriage but a commitment to each other that you would never break? Was it this combination of the work you put in and learning to care for and respect one another for the success and growth of your partnership, and along with that developed this genuine emotional connection?

Follow up: the way you often talk about it, not just what you say but the emotion with which you say it, it really feels like it was just so special to you and it was in a sense, like this love language- a language only the two of you spoke, and it was this thing that was so necessary you take care- that you took care of each other, and this partnership. This connection where it seemed like if one of you felt broken the other could feel it to. It’s sometimes like when I hear you get asked about dancing/skating with other people there’s this hurt and fear in your voices about the thought of having to do this without each other. You’ve said how the thought of singles skating is terrifying and what gave you so much strength was having each other. So what was that like? Can you describe some of the emotional factors behind protecting your partnership throughout your skating career?

Follow up: how important is it to the both of you that each other is the one that you have in a sense, for a huge part of your life, trusted with your life- your emotions, your wellbeing, your insecurities, your body, your heart. And how important is it to you that even now, you protect that bond and keep it as this incredibly strong and loving relationship even though your life circumstances are very different?

Follow up: do you consider yourselves to be part of each others family?

(I’m aware these questions are very long winded. In an interview situation I would try to cut them down- I hate when the interviewer talks too much- but that’s when it’s about themselves and not the interviewee- for me I just want to give them so much praise and complements and- not talk about myself but tell them how they make me feel- maybe give them a glimpse at what it’s like to witness from the outside these smaller things others haven’t brought up before).

Ok, now for some individual questions. As I said a lot of the stuff above I would also ask them individually because of the way they gush about each other there is stuff you would maybe get when the other is not there- this being a huge dilemma is they just think the freaking world of each other that the whole interview may be spent complementing each other. However I will say it’s amazing how good they are at accepting complements to their face- so often that can be cringy (unless you’re a narcissist) but I think they can take it so maturely because they DO think the world of each other so its easy to look each other in the eye and say think is what I think and feel about you because they know it is honest and they feel the same way.

Some questions first for Tessa: (I’m not gonna go in depth on these ones)

Her ballet/dance upbringing. Did she do exams (if so what syllabus) when did she go on/how long was she on pointe for (I doubt when they moved away and were skating full time she bothered with pointe shoes in the ballet she did do, not often at least) did she compete in solo/group dance competitions like with skating. What’s her favourite ballet/dance production, if she could perform one principal ballet role what would it be

Preparing skates: breaking in, care etc (compared to say pointe shoes- there is a whole process I imagine there would also be with skates I would just want to know everything about that coz I find it interesting) - I could ask either of them this really

I would like to ask her about that physical intimacy stuff without Scott- just from a female pov and being in a dance/performance environment- so it’s not your actual ‘SO’ partner, being so beautifully treated in that ‘dance partner’ relationship so there’s that element of friendship but mostly professionalism and a bit of presentation, what that felt like and yeh…. Does she miss it.

Scott:

I would probably just geek out over The Office with him. Bond over Modern Family quotes and being able to remember really random lines of dialogue.

This was touched on in the KOP podcast but I would go into more depth about his artistic journey. His relationship with the artistry side of the sport, other topics of that nature. Also that period in their teens when they made two big moves/coaching changes, how that affected him on top of puberty- as he says he could be a bit of a dick (and could’ve been nicer to Tessa) back then. How did he manage that then and how does he reconcile it now- its not a bad thing, we all go through shitty stages through our teens and when they were legit training for the olympics (2006) and winning international juniors comps- the pressure both from the outside and on themselves would be challenging to deal with- also the affect moving away from his family had on him.

One final question for both of them: WTF was that water bottle shit they had going on at that press conference at Finlandia Trophy in 2011??

#ask #manifesting my dreams come true #I would legit be sick to my stomach if this actually happened #but omg what an honour #that why I get shitty with bad interviews #like are you kidding me this is TS they deserve so much better #(and so do we listening to it)#so yeh like I said I would probs suck I would be a blubbering MESS! but #if I managed to get the questions out I think their answers would be interesting

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manygalaxiesinone · 11 months

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Sentencing Disgaea Antagonists for their Crimes Once More!

((You thought I was done with this one, didn't you? Nope! There are still more antagonists to cover and more time before Disgaea 7 comes out in US, so let's have another go! Keep in mind, I'm only covering the more antagonistic characters throughout the series and not everyone who has committed some sort of crime, because if I did that then almost every Disgaea character would be featured here.

And if you are new to this topic, I have to point out once again that I am NOT a lawyer. This is purely for the sake of entertainment and everything I point out should be taken with a grain of salt. I advise seeking elsewhere for legit legal advice and you happen to be an expert in law yourself, feel free to explain just how accurate this post is and correct me on certain points that I end up getting wrong. With that out of the way, let's get started.

Case 1: Vato Bros. Chewie, Cholo, and Churro are members of a large Orc family known as the Vatos and initially started off as Mao's enemies as they all attacked him during the beginning parts of the game. This would classify as multiple cases of assault and considering that they're students of Evil Academy, this might not be their only crime, but it's the only one I'm currently aware of. That being said, they all swore loyalty to Mao after the Student Evilection once they discovered he went out of his way to rescue Raspberyl, who saved their lives once before. While they did end up fighting Mao later on in the game, it was due to them being brainwashed by Sir Aurum and when they were freed, they made sure to invite the whole family to help out take back the school.

Vato Bros. Sentencing: For now I'm going to have to give them a pardon, as while they can be aggressive, they're not really all that bad, though this could change if Mao becomes a negative influence on them, which sadly, is more than likely.

Case 2: School Board President. The Head of the School Board of the Nether Institute, Evil Academy, is also the head of the PTA (Perfectly Trained Assassins). Her role is to maintain the chaotic stability of the academy, as oxymoronic as that sounds, and she does this by making sure the teachers and students remain evil and lazy, even going so far as to kidnap those who step out of line and subject to cloning and brainwashing. And while it hasn't been confirmed, it wouldn't be all that surprising if she's ordered hits on certain students and staff as well to keep them out of the picture. Her only redeeming qualities are the facts that she gathered the PTA to help Mao regain his senses when he was on the urge to slip into the dark side at the end of the game, and the fact that she makes sure all teachers and staff get their benefits such as insurance and PTO, whether or not the teachers working are licensed.

School Board President Sentencing: As such, I'll have to give Ms. President a few years in prison with a chance of parole, mainly due to the fact that anyone who's adamant in giving their employees their benefits that come with the job should not be kept away in the work force, especially in a field that's as underappreciative as education.

Case 3: Gold Knuckle Gold Knuckle is a senior student who only appears once in the main story and then again in Raspberyl's campaign. He's the main person hired by Sir Aurum behind the scenes to brainwash students into becoming delinquents, including the Vato Bros, which adds aiding and abetting to his list of crimes. Now brainwashing in of itself isn't exactly a crime to my knowledge as long as it doesn't lead to the victims doing anything illegal or harmful as a result, which might have been the case as delinquents tend to steer away from doing such actions, that is until near the end of the game where the Vato bros while under mind control, threatened to blow up the academy using a prinny bomb, which is of course, terrorism. As I said in my previous posts, acts like this could count as coercion as those who are brainwashed forced against their will do commit these actions. Unlike the Schoolboard President, Gold Knuckle doesn't have that many redeeming qualities outside of him helping out near the end of the game and protected one of the Vato Bros from a Zetta Beam in Beryl's story. And even then, he stated that he only did it to get a role in story.

Gold Knuckle's Sentencing: I think it would be fair to give Gold Knuckle about 5000 years in prison due to his long life span as a demon, but with a chance of parole since he's a student.

Case 4: Salvatore Salvatore the Magnificent is the Senior Class President of the Nether Institute, Evil Academy as well as the former leader of the Diez Gentlemen and rival of the Sophomore Class President, Master Bigstar. She's known for her ruthlessness due to her acting as a member of a military and barks impossible orders to both ally and enemy soldiers, which should count as some sort of brief of jurisdiction. Along with the other members of the Diez Gentlemen, she's also guilty of aiding and abetting Sir Aurum of his plans to take over the academy and corrupt Mao, though she's the only member who changed sides to help Mao and co in the end. She has also killed one person on screen, and even attempted to kill Mao, only for Sir Aurum disguised as Geoffry to take the bullet instead, marking one murder and one attempted murder since Mao didn't officially become the overlord until the end of the main story. That being said, those actions did occur during a time of war within the academy, which sounds odd on paper at first until you recall that the entire Netherworld itself is one massive school, meaning a war here could be taken as seriously as wars in any other world. Finally, we can't forget the field trip she was a part of during Disgaea 5 where both her and Mao harassed other students with a pillow fight and threaten to split a local man's head open like a watermelon. Both of which were stopped once Killia entered the picture.

Salvatore's sentencing: Until she can get her act together, I have no choice but to dishonorably discharge her from whatever military position she ranks under as well as 1000 years in prison with a chance of parole.

Case 5: Diez Gentlemen The rest of Diez Gentlemen will be handled in the same category to make things easier as they're all guilty of aiding and abetting Sir Aurum in one way or another. That being said, some of the members' crimes are more specific than others. Starting off with Prinny Mask who's responsible for remodeling the campus multiple times. The only reason that's a crime is because Sir Aurum does not have the legal authority to give him such a position as he does not own the campus and this was done behind Mao's back. Shyrone is a transfer student who constantly move to different schools to search for the person who he claimed stole his lunch money, openly acknowledging that he's prone to attack anyone around him he deemed suspicious, which is multiple cases of assault and vigilantism. Not helping his case is the fact that it's later revealed that he lost his lunch money after he spent it on something other than his lunch, meaning he had no justifiable reason to attack anyone to begin with. Same goes for Breezy Satina who travels around with a Sabercat to kill people for the fun of it, via making deadly games for people to play, including children, as well as Se-to-oh, who is clearly the game's parody version of Seto Kaiba from Yugioh, as he challenges random people to "duels" by sacrificing actual living monsters to summon others. There's also Effort Ninja Gorillian, who's famous for being the long time rival of the Ultra Chroma Power Squad: Prism Rangers outside of the academy. So much so that he was willing to attack the rangers when they were busy fighting the Hades Party during Fuka and Desco's takeover of one of the Human Worlds, which is obstruction of justice. There's also Bo Tie who has an unhealthy obsession with sweat, so much so that the mere scent of it and seeing one's potential on how much sweat they'll produce gets him creepily excited. You know it's bad when even Mao is so creeped out he runs away from you. There's also the self proclaimed monster tamer Goro who treats his beasts so cruelly that they turn against him on a regular basis, Pauline, who's a typical necromancer suffering from Split Personality Disorder, and finally Beyond X, who shapeshifts herself into various students and staff inside the academy for spying on behalf of Sir Aurum, which is of course identity theft.

Diez Gentlemen sentencing: The only one being granted a full pardon is Prinny Mask as Sir Aurum would ultimately be held responsible for his actions. Pauline would likely be tasked to seek asylum to help with her disorder. Bo Tie might get some restraining orders against everyone he creeped out with his sweat obsession, including Mao. Both Se-to-oh and Goro will be forbidden from having contact with another animal again and likely face some jail time. A few millennia for Se-to-oh specifically and Goro for the remainder of his life given his age. Both Beyond X and Gorillian will both be served 2500 years in prison, but Gorillian has a chance of parole. Finally, Breezy Satina and her sabercat will both be given the death penalty.

Case 6: Stella Grossular Stella is the student body president of the Death Institute: Majin Academy, the rival school of the Nether Insitute: Evil Academy. She's also the daughter of the school's late dean and overlord. Wanting to make her father proud and improve the school as well as feeling immense hatred and envy toward Evil Academy, she made it her mission to sabotage the school, going so far as to incite her only friend, Rutile, to help her steal Mao's Dean Certificate only to gaslight her when Rutile try to convince her to return it. She then tries to kill Mao and co when they make it to the Majin Academy to reclaim the dead. Since this part of the story takes place after the events of the main story and Mao is now the dean/overlord of the academy, this would make Stella guilty of attempted regicide. Even after she reforms and transfers to Evil Academy to start anew, she made it clear that she still plans on taking over the Netherworld as part of her majin training.

Stella Grossular sentencing: Like with Gold Knuckle, I am going to give her 5000 years in prison with a chance of parole. Depending on how well her reform goes, she could end up with a lighter sentence, which is possible when she has someone as pure hearted as Rutile helping her out every step of the way.

Case 7: Super Hero Aurum We have finally arrived at the main antagonist of the game. Even before the events of the main story, Aurum has a few crimes under his belt, but almost all of them are pretty heavy. The lightest of the bunch is hiring Prinny Mask to rearrange the academy multiple times without authorization of Mao or the PTA. He has also committed multiple accounts of regicide and deicide (the murder of a god) during his time as a hero. Granted some of which are when he was protecting the innocent from evil, but more recent fights, like the one against Mao's father, were simply for the sake of finding the strongest demon so he can die in battle. It's also believed that he's also responsible for the death of Stella's father as he died while fighting an unspecified hero. There's also his attempt to take over the academy as part of his plan to get Mao to descend further into darkness. Speaking of Mao, we can't forget the years of abuse he gave him while he disguised himself as his butler, Geoffry, most notably whenever he experimented on Mao as well as the fact that he raised Mao for the sole purpose of having one final battle, which would have lead to the destruction of all reality as shown in the game's worst ending. Finally, while Disgaea RPG's canonicity is up for debate, it's interesting to point out that he teamed up with Archangel Vulcanus to help Tyrant Baal take over the Disgaea universe and part of the plan to do so was killing several prinnies before they were able to reincarnate for the sake of using their souls to create a massive prinny bomb, which is not only genocide but also terrorism.

Super Hero Aurum's sentencing: Normally this would be more than enough to give him the death penalty, however this would be counter intuitive as Sir Aurum WANTS to die. Not only that but Mao has already punished him for his actions at the end of Disgaea 3's main story by experimenting on him and turning him into Geoffry X, forcing him to live and serve under him for the remainder of his days, so everything outside of Disgaea RPG would no longer count against him in this trial under double jeopardy. If Disgaea RPG is considered canon to the series, meaning that Aurum has somehow broke free from Mao's control, it might be best to sentence him to existence erasure, which might be possible after someone removes the parts he obtained from evil gods and someone convinces Gig, the God of Death and Destruction to carry out said sentence.))

#wicked binge #disgaea #disgaea 3

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channieissocute125 · 11 months

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hello! how've you been, I hope you're doing great 🤍

anyway I heard you take reqs (so sorry if I'm wrong!) but I wanted to request a svt one with lee dk and ler joshua, where they both go live together and dk jokingly calls joshua a monster and shua just goes "yeah right a tickle monster" or something

thank you for reading! no pressure to do this legit 🤍

I’m good. Thanks for asking 🥰

This is such a cute plot I love this so much!

I know this is kinda short but I don’t know Seventeen that well😔

Lee! DK, Ler! Shua

————————————————————

The boys had a day off and DK was planning on going live. He just wanted to do it with someone. After thinking for a couple minutes, he came to the conclusion that Joshua would be the perfect person to do it with.

“Hyung, can you go live with me?”, DK asked Shua

“I’m kinda busy right now”, was the only response he got.

DK could see that all Shua was doing was looking at his phone.

“Busy huh?”, DK thought out loud

“What if I did this?”He asked his hyung as he climbed onto the bed where Shua was lying and pinched his sides with one hand, while digging his finger’s into Josh’s armpit with the other.

“Stohohop okahahay I’ll go live with yohou.”

————————————————————————-

They decided to go live in DK’s room. Shortly after they got to his room, they started the live.

“Hey guys!” They both said, excited to see their fans again.

“Have you eaten today?”, one fan asked

DK answered it by saying, “yes we’ve eaten lunch.”

After they answered a few more questions, DK wanted to tease his hyung. He was trying to come up with a way to do so while not being rude. He noticed how cute his hyung was being and wanted to tease him.

“Hyung’s a monster RAWR”, he said as he curled his fingers into a claw shape. (I’m sorry if that’s confusing.)

“Yeah, I’m a monster. A tickle monster!” Shua exclaimed while wiggling his fingers.

“Whahait dohont tickle mehe”, DK tried saying, but it was too late. Shua was already on top of him and was holding down both his wrists above his head with one hand while wiggling the the other hand above his tummy.”

“No pleaHEASE HYUNG DONT AAAHAHAHAHAHAH”, he screamed mid sentence when Josh scribbled his tummy.

Joshua would have normally stopped there, especially because they were on live, but DK had tickled him earlier so he felt he had every right to keep going.

“Nohoho pleahease”

“But DK, I’m just confirming what you said earlier. I’m a tickle monster after all.”

“NOHOHO I DIDNT MEHEAN IHIT HAHAA HA HA”

Shua changed to spidering up his abs and ribs getting the best reaction.

“Aww, look how red your face is. You seem to be enjoying this.” Shua teased

“NAHAHA IM NOHOT HAHHAHA”

“Should I count your ribs?” Joshua asked innocently

“NOHOHO PLEAHEASE DONT”

“Okay I’ll take that as a yes”

“1… 2”

“THIHIS IS SOHO BAHAHAD HAHAHA”

“3… 4”

DK suddenly couldn’t take it anymore and struggled to get out of the grip of his hyung who was still holding his wrists. He managed to break free and laid on his bed laughing.

“ Yohou are the worhorst hahaha”

“You were the one who called me monster to begin with”, Shua teased while poking his side.

They returned to answering questions and saw comments saying how weird they were. They didn’t mind though. They both had fun anyway.

#sevnteen tickle #K-pop tickle #DK #Joshua #tickle #tickle fic #K-pop tickle fic

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xjustlikeyou · 2 years

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The TAI/Midtown Aftershow

This is what I wrote when I got home re: the VIP experience of the Aftershow

Feel free to message/ask if you want clarification about anything because most of it is not even full sentences. It was just things I didn't want to forget.

(Also if someone has a better memory than me and has the actual Midtown set list - hit me up)

———

TAI soundcheck -

We were really late going in. Jon posted the pic of TAI soundchecking while we were all still in a line outside and we were all like ???? (Also this venue loved lines. We started in one, then went to another, then went to a third, fourth, and fifth).

We were kept in the venue for a bit and heard all of About A Girl in the stairwell before they let us in.

We walked in to everyone on stage but Will who walked in as we were filtering in and was so fucking bashful. I was directly in front of Will (and somehow survived).

"I left and went to the bathroom and came back and there's all these people here! How did that happen?"

They were all so fucking happy and playful and joking and teasing and complimenting each other which made my heart so happy. I legit never thought I'd see them together again - much less SO HAPPY. They were all so appreciative and I still can't believe it happened.

I think Carden talked the most out of all of them. Partly because Sisky didn't have a microphone unless he stole someone's which he did a few times.

After the first couple takes:

The butcher - “this takes the edge off”

Mike - “yeah!! It should always be like this. Like a soft opening. This is great. I love this.”

Will - “Agreed. But it’s more, well more like a warm…no. It’s not. I’ve made it weird.”

I’ve already gotten so overwhelmed I forgot all that we saw

I know Big Mess, some of LAX, Bulls in Brooklyn, About A Girl again, Phase maybe? Def one or two from Almost Here. At one point they were going to do verse and a chorus of a song and we and Will kept going into the second before trailing off. Will shrugging and kinda giggling - "well, we all just got so excited - I forgot we were stopping."

GABE WATCHING THEM the whole time. - Hugs all around and x2 for Will. He's so fucking proud of them. And supportive. Everyone deserves a hype person like he is for them. Jesus. I have so many feelings.

Mike (roughly): "So, uh. We've been rehearsing for this for a week now. It's really good to be doing it for people other than ourselves. I mean, Gabe flew in and sat on the ground and watched - he's actually over there still watching - and he said we were good but...ya know. We're glad you're here."

Will immediately starting to walk towards Gabe to get his hugs and then coming back, "Shhhh, he's not supposed to be here. It'll be our secret, okay?" DEAD. SO DEAD.

Fucking incredible vocals - Will sounded so so so good. They all did but I just. SO GOOD.

Ian being Ian - had his slide and wanted to play fancy things and was adorable

Sisky not having a microphone - "Yeah, why don't you?" "I don't know where it went." "We can get - " "NO NO NO no microphone."

Snakes on a plane - fan try outs - Sisky leading with Carden and everyone ragging on Gabe (who refused to come out but did pretend to take notes on everyone's performance). They pulled 3 people from the crowd to try out for the rap. Completely impromptu supposedly. Mike kept stressing they had not planned on doing this. But Sisky kept saying it'd been 17 years and he still hasn't figured out how to play bass and rap and was not going to try.

Will's panicked little "wait, what mic are they going to use? This one's mine" and cradled it to his chest broke me.

Sisky said it was going to be crowd participation but also sort of chose himself too.

Will had tea and was very precious about it.

“I’m warming up and so are you”

To go from shy and awkward to chills and just pure happiness

THAT MAN BELONGS ON A STAGE ALWAYS.

The protect trans live pin. I’M STILL NOT OVER IT.

Legit we all got chills halfway through just because it was so special and actually happening and none of us could believe it. Will literally rubbed his arm in the middle of a song and called it out and just ugh.

At one point, he did this little mic catch, looked at Gabe, did it again, and was just so proud of himself.

Mike constantly ragged on Gabe and it was the best.

Mike: “So I blocked an extra hour for Midtown’s soundcheck because Gabe needs it. You think you need 2 hours of vocal warm-ups? I think you do."

“Is it 7:30 yet? I promised Gabe we’d be off by then.”

It legit felt like a performance minus the stopping and adjusting and it was just so relaxed and so happy and I - it was worth everything I paid for and more.

---

(We start the very slow process of waiting to meet the TAI boys and get to see the beginning of Midtown’s soundcheck)

Meeting them - all of them were so so so so nice and it’s so fucking overwhelming to have all of them right there talking to you at the same time. I was shaking violently and the security guard was trying to calm me down LOL. "Mike's an ass! He's just a dude. They're all just dudes. It's going to be great. Just breathe." Easy for you to say, sir.

They were all very lovely and immediately tried to calm me down but somehow being circled by them all IS NOT CALMING. I thanked Will for wearing the pin and shared what their music/scene has done for me and DIDN'T CRY. so yay. Success. I felt a lil bad because I turned and had started to talk to Will (to thank him) and Carden immediately turned to Sisky to talk amongst themselves before looking surprised that I was addressing/thanking all of them and they were all so fucking sweet. I can't. I love them all so much.

But it was so fucking overwhelming that I nearly walked directly into Gabe who was still soundchecking out on the venue floor almost 2 hours later. You def can’t say he doesn’t care. He legit moved out of my way and I went to stand back in line and the person I was next to was like "....you nearly took out Gabe, you know that?" FML. Sorry, man. I WAS SHOOK. The person who took photos I thought took two but turns out she takes them the whole time so I have 7 photos and all of them are embarrassing. But I'm glad to have 'em.

We got a TAI...tote with a signed lanyard card thing and a sticker of the new logo and the gabilliam poster.

We got sent to wait in another line which ended up being so long we just stayed and they scanned our tickets and we could go in from there after we got our merch. We got to see Jon soundcheck and some people called out Happy Birthday. That fucker started to play Sins just to see us all whip around and laughed. He teased a few other songs bc he's Jon.

--------

Jwalk

He started early and people were still coming in. I felt really bad for him because everyone was talking to the point it was hard to hear him over the chatter. I was getting seriously annoyed because he's got a beautiful voice and his songs are bops and it was really cool to see them live.

"I actually borrowed this acoustic from Siska and it has cobwebs in it."

Someone near me aggressively yelled happy birthday to him again and Jon was all "uh, thank you? Happens every year." And moved on.

He played most of his recent stuff and was so good

—————

MIDTOWN

Gabe crediting tyler with midtown coming back and then my chem:

Gabe - “so mikey called and said can you play some shows?

I said we suck, bro.

And mikey said ‘so practice’

And here we are.

Talked twice about not remembering why he stopped touring until he wakes up the next morning and remembers he’s “an old fart with a bad back”

His kid’s roblox - took a picture /video of the crowd with it. "My 3 year old asked me to bring his roblox with so I don't forget him so I'm taking a picture of it with each crowd, is that okay?"

Tyler immediately: "Yeah, none of that is true. He just bought that."

They were so happy and so grateful and bantering back and forth and just so appreciative.

Played over their time by 2 songs - “We’re out of time? Fuck it. Let's keep going."

“On our last Midtown tour - we toured with the academy is and struck up a friendship that will last forever. Like for real. The type of friendship that continues on even after we’re dead. I love those dudes so much.”

DEDICATED TWO SONGS TO THEM. A Faulty Foundation and No Place Feels Like Home.

“Whose going to riot fest tomorrow? Sorry. We’re playing the exact same set there tomorrow. Deal with it. We’ve only got so many songs. Forgive us.”

“The my chem tour - 98.5% of the people there won’t know who we are. Obviously you guys are amazing and do know us but we wanted a song that everyone and maybe even their parents knew and could have a good time with so Tyler had written one once and it’s finally time to play it” - Tyler talked about a writing session that went bad then played When You Were Young.

They were so good!! Gabe's bass broke halfway through. And two songs before the end he said he'd lost his voice and kinda took a step back vocally

Rough set list:

Become What You Hate

Like A Movie

??? (I forgot what came next)

Just Rock N Roll

Get It Together

When We Were Young

So Long as We Keep Our Bodies Numb We're Safe

A Faulty Foundation - dedicated to the TAI

To Our Savior

No Place Feels Like Home (Also dedicated to TAI…)

Empty Like The Ocean

Give It Up

————

TAI… absolutely fucking incredible from start to finish. It literally felt like no time had passed at all.

GABE. GABE COMING OUT FOR CLASSIFIEDS - unplanned. Surprise. Will flustered AF. MORE HUGS FOR MIKE AND WILL.

AJ and Mike for Attention - hugs after all around.

SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE

Will being so bashful and appreciative and stumbling over his words and I cannot with him.

I don’t understand how they’re not a bigger band.

They’re so fucking amazing.

I have no complaints. Would have changed nothing besides the fact it had to end.

I hope someone gets the setlist together bc I can’t. (Edit: They did)

Set List:

The Phase That Pays

About A Girl

Slow Down

LAX to O’Hare

Season

Sleeping with Giants (Lifetime)

Classifieds (WITH SURPRISE GABE CAMEO)

Bulls in Brooklyn

Black Mamba

Very 1st Lie (Cover of Material Issue’s song - a local Chicago band active in the 90s)

Attention w/ AJ and Mike D

Big Mess

Checkmarks

After the Last Midtown Show

Encore:

Snakes on a Plane

———

Legit, I will never regret having flown out here to do this. I didn't think the Projekt Rev 07 tour could ever be toppled from my fav concert of all time but this did it. I will never forget this.

#the academy is aftershow chicago #tai reunion #may edit this later #but there ya go #i'll add pictures later #i gotta go catch my flight home

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rmtndew · 2 years

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I’m not a huge planner when it comes to my writing. I like to have the beginning, middle and end figured out and ideas for scenes in between all of those points and I keep notes for things I want to use or say in different scenes but for the most part, I’m a write and see where it goes kind of person. But I decided to plot out my Beauty and the Beast AU and was looking at different methods and there’s one called the Snowflake Method and let me tell y’all, I’m loving this thing! Maybe I’ll change my mind once I start actually writing the story because I might end up changing everything, but right now? This is legit!

I’m following it here but it’s on a few other sites if you want to Google it. Some of the other sites give a little too much work for me to do 🙈 But basically you start with a single sentence idea of your story, build that up into a paragraph, then build on those paragraphs until you have several pages of expansion. It’s still all rough outline but it’s been great because I’ve changed a lot of ideas by trying to sort out all of the plot points ahead of time because things I thought might work won’t and I’m very happy to figure that out now rather than halfway through the story and then try to go back and correct it then (which still might happen with other things!).

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y’all because I’d never followed a guideline before and this has been super helpful so far! 💜

#writing advice #creative writing #writing tips #writing sites

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kimaprince · 1 year

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Rapunzel's Flower Dev Log: Part 41 Blast From the Past

New Post has been published on https://kimaprince.com/2023/01/27/rapunzels-flower-dev-log-part-41-blast-from-the-past/

Rapunzel's Flower Dev Log: Part 41 Blast From the Past

DISCLAIMER: I found these unreleased Dev Log notes in my previous ‘2020 Dev Log’ file in my Google Docs, and as much of it is ridiculously outdated, it’s still a snapshot of the development of RF. I also think it’s missing some development between this log and my next. I have a few notes at the bottom about what I believe is missing. Also, it was apparently written before I dropped development of Reel Dream! That’s, that’s old. I mean, this is also around the begining of 2020 quarantine >3> I’d like to forget that actually.

For this year’s (2023) first Dev Log, go here. (I’ll add the link when it’s posted)

PLAYING AROUND

Feb 17, 2020

As I’m planning on putting dev logs on hiatus I’ve actually been playing around with RF today, not really doing much but I played with a Mode 7 plugin just to see what it would do:

It looks like a lot of fun when playing with it, but it has too much that would need to be done to make it work right, and is out of the scope of this project.

I got this idea however, from a game that I recently got addicted to over the weekend:

Cat Quest Developed by: The Gentlebros Pte. Ltd.

Like that game legit had me addicted and I think I beat the main story line in two days. Which isn’t much time considering the mommy life. I’m still playing the after game and clearing dungeons.

So other than the map perspective used in the game, Cat Quest (GO PLAY IT. I got it on the Switch! Okay, yes I realize this game is a few years old. It takes me a bit to get around lol) also got me thinking about dungeons and dungeon crawling. Their dungeons are single level (this game is very casual play-like) and they aren’t too expansive…unless it’s supposed to be…and they have a lot of invisible paths.

So that got me thinking for RF that I should start planning the dungeon floors to be a lot smaller than what I had imagined in my head. This will help with mapping time, and for players to clear floors faster to feel like they are progressing.

I’m going to combine that with the recurring chests idea I had, and I may include different chest types, like a locked type players can go back for once they get a key further in the game that will have rarer, but optional, items; which is another idea I got from Cat Quest.

SETTING UP THE SCRIVENER FILE WITH NPC PROFILES

Something I honestly should have put together long before is profiles for each of the characters in RF. However, I just got to doing it and thankfully I had been working on a similar system for Reel Dream and already had things I could copy/paste to make the templates.

I’m honestly questioning the 10 stars friendship system. I’m thinking of breaking it down to be stars. Maybe, maybe not. I want to make shorter games and figuring out things for 10 stars? Of course, I think I was only planning to have an actual friendship event every few stars, and I guess that means that if I have characters I want it to be harder to befriend, I could just make them have certain events happen at higher star levels, though that would also limit how many events I could have compared to others.

Okay, that was a long run on sentence but that’s my thoughts.

A MESS OF A MOUNTAIN

(Feb 19, 2020)

So I worked a good bit on Reel Dream’s plot today, scripting out the first part of the game so I felt I needed a break to do something more relaxing. So I went to RF to do some mapping of the mountain area:

Basically, from sample maps from the FSM asset pack, I glued together a few maps I liked and have been working away at making them fit, as well as making them how I imagined. Right now it’s still a mess but it’s coming together. That’s Avy’s Tower asset right there, that I plan to use for the main tower in this game. I may do a bit more searching, but this moss covered look fits with what I want for the game.

WHY DO KIDS GET US SICK

So between a rough emotional/mental week followed by a week of sick family, not much got done and now it is March 2nd. Reel Dream takes priority but I just want to note that I continued on that mountain and this is where it left off:

Still have a lot of work to do on it but it’s shaping up to be its own thing now, and not just a copy/paste from sample maps.

MARCH 5th 2020

Just did some mapping.

OH QUARANTINE OH QUARANTINE

June 15 2020

So how’s quarantine going, ya’ll?

Yeah, so between everything I normally deal with…RF has been on the bottom of the to-do list. I have been working on Reel Dream a bit lately and I continuously am trying to make my office area more productful and more childproof, which is hard now that my youngest is a full fledged toddler at age two.

What’s been on my mind lately for RF is the weapons crafting system and how I should simplify it in ways I’ve enjoyed in other games I’ve recently played such as Moonlighter. However, the idea of how it was all to work out was almost completely fledged out and ready to input into the engine so I kinda want to just go with my original idea and see how broken of a system it is. It may work out to be a fun quirk of the game!

I quit my Patreon before the corona lockdown happened, when I didn’t even know it was going to happen, and thankfully I did as I wouldn’t be able to keep up the Patreon at this rate.

Without the patreon however, it has allowed me to put game dev on the back burner as I have needed to, without feeling like I was ripping off those who were giving to me.

-Some Time Later-

Okay so yeah, the internet is distracting and I’m fighting laziness and depression right now but…

Game dev wise I think I may have tossed some dev notes in an office purge I did the other week, though I still have a lot of digital notes too so maybe what I want is there…

BLUB

BLUUUUUB

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUB

If any of ya’ll get that reference than….ya’ll are a parent.

Okay, so I had been working on the spreadsheet for figuring out the crafting system and I reduced the number of crafting materials I use in each setting:

I even renamed some stuff and decided on how some items were going to be used. Somehow, I just couldn’t reduce the med craft ingredients by much. Most things in that list made sense to me so I kept them.

Why this change? Well mostly I was inspired by Animal Crossing: New Horizions on how their main ingredients are just 3 types of wood, rock, clay and iron. Sure the game adds some special pieces too but those are what you are collecting on a daily basis.

Rapunzel’s Flower isn’t meant to be an overly large game, so I really shoudn’t have a boat ton of items and complicated crafting. I still want to make my additive ingredient method of crafting instead of something more linear (like Moonlighter) because I think how the additive properties will act in game will be painfully hilarious as I try and balance it all.

Yeah, I pretty much said I want to have a dev crisis trying to balance this game.

However, having done that I’ve gotten thinking about something else I had wanted to do originally in the game: On screen encounters. Originally I said I couldn’t do it because I don’t have sprites for the majority of Aekashics battlers I will be using, but thinking about it, the spawn monster doesnt have to look exactly as the monsters in the troop. I mean, hey, you don’t even see a troop you see one monster and SURPRISE it’s a troop…

So I DO have directional sprites for cute little elemental slimes for Aekashics that fit with the elements in my game. I’m thinking I could go back to the on screen encounters and use these elemental hinting slimes in the different areas to create on screen encounters. I even have plugins to make on screen encounters interactive.

More work? Potentially, well, yeah, but it will be in line with the original vision of the game.

THE NEXT DAY

Le gasp! I’m here typing the next day! So, last night I did a lot of work planning the crafting system and this is only part of my spreadsheet for that:

So I guess the next stage is…I don’t know…guess I have to make sure each item at least has an icon and then start putting these base recipes into the plugin.

As much as I love the crafting plugin I have, I also hate putting recipes in it. That’s actually why I have this spreadsheet is so that I can reference the item numbers and ingredients for input into the plugin. The plugin asks for item database numbers so I can’t just go back and forth trying to get and remember numbers. Thus, this spreadsheet.

Google Sheets really has become a go-to tool for me. I’ve even created scheduling, chore and grocery spreadsheets for daily life!…only the grocery one has gotten real use. Haha…that’s my fault. I keep trying to find a good planner system for myself because it’s easy for me to get off track and lazy.

Anywho, into the engine to go work on those recipes!

RECIPE WOES

Okay, so the recipes can only have one craft item category used and you can’t have two in one recipe so I’m going to have to plug in a LOT of recipe variations. Lots…man I’m glad I toned down how many weapons and junk were in the game.

So Okay, to tone that down why don’t we just require the Augment to be a chip that you have to craft? Yeah, yeah I think that makes sense. Then the recipe only calls for a Chip and that Chip, using the Additive Traits of the crafting system will add it’s traits to the weapon you are crafting. BINGO! I think that will save me some recipe making…I hope.

Wait, nope. That runs into the same exact issue. Unless….we use the Chip to create a Drive which creates a Core and all adds onto each other!

2023 Comments: Um, I’m not sure what all was going on at this point and I feel like there were a lot of decisions and developments I never ended up documenting. I’m not even sure if I recorded the decision to go with Randomly Generated Maps to create dungeons, or that I went back to a simpler crafting system with Yanfly’s Item Synthesis and have pretty much dropped augmenting items for weapon enhancement mechanic. Going to stick to simpler item and weapon creation. Sorry I didn’t document that, so there’s a bit of a gap between 2020 and 2023 that’s more than just time.

Anywho, from now on Dev Logs will be written for this year’s development, and I’ll try to keep in mind to give ya’ll a refresher when I talk about certain mechanics and developments.

Thanks for reading and God bless, Kima Prince

#Dev Log #Rapunzel's Flower #RPG Maker MV #Dev Logs

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haunteddaymares · 1 year

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I am like mentally doing horribly honestly, I can't get out of my own head, and shit is just repeating back and forth in my mind, like sentences, parts of books. I haven't been eating, and yet so far everytime someone asks me like how I am or something I'm just like oh I'm good I'm fine I'm doing great.

Literally like Thursday I ended my fwb's relationship because it was exclusive just so that I could hook up with a guy Saturday (and also because there was no pleasure in it at all for me, like the guy is simply awful in bed) and even then like Saturday we (hookup guy and I) fucked twice and the first time a much as I find him so fucking attractive like it was so fucking short and it just wasn't all that spectacular but you know he got off at least but he seemed so upset because he could just tell I didn't actually enjoy it all that much so a few hours pass by and we're sort of just chilling, discussing like politics and shit, and we go for another round and that time it was better at least but I legit had to fake climaxing and all and anyways he's so fucking proud of himself after because he thinks I came and shit and got off but I didn't I just didn't want to make him feel bad for not so I lied and he just after asks me these questions like about how he's bigger than I imagined (actually smaller) and how the first time he just came quickly because it had been awhile for him but how he really proved to me how great he was the second time

Anyways so it's like 6 am, he decides it's time to sleep, anyone who knows me knows it's like fucking impossible for me to sleep ever, so he falls asleep (btw he moves around a fuck ton in his sleep and must have a lot of wet dreams or something cuz he's like moaning and shit, and like 4 hours into him sleeping he like lays his arms on my head, and it just pins it there but the way they are it also completely cuts off my ability to see even though it's nearly complete darkness my eyes had already adjusted at this point) and so I'm just like trying to find a way to get his arms to move without waking him and then he finally moves his arms, anyways around noon he wakes up, I'm laying there with my head curled on his chest pretending to be asleep, and after he wakes up enough he asks how I slept and I'm like pretty decent actually bite I do bring up the hold like pinning my head down thing and he looks at me like it's completely normal and goes yeah I do that, I didn't like punch you or anything though didn't and I start laughing cuz I think he's joking and then I ask like three different times and he's like no I have a tendency to be violent in my sleep I have beaten girls up while sleeping and I'm just like the fuck?

Anyways the entire time I was there I was basically in my own head as usual, thinking the same thoughts, also judging his horrible music taste, and he seemed to think I was upset or something which like I actually wasn't I genuinely had a decent time and the second round he was actually decent in bed even if I didn't get off (I did slcome pretty close though but he just didn't last long enough) and most of the time I was trying to like focus on him and the stuff he was into and wanted to do but I'm not really good at like talking to people I'm more of an observer and appreciate people quietly but he seemed to think I was upset or just generally not okay but I just felt completely comfy in the silence just watching him be into things you know but since that day I've just been like back to being stuck in my head again and just really wanting to like pop pills and drink and cut and I haven't been eating at all (even before I went there though I hadn't been) and so I haven't been eating and I've started pill popping again, managed to avoid cutting so far. I guess the main thing is that I spend so much time in my head with my own thoughts and they are just endless and when I'm around other people it's generally not something I have to worry about because I'm focusing on them instead unless they are like asleep and then I'm like focusing on not waking them up and trying to pretend I'm asleep so that they don't worry or anything but like when someone asks me if I'm okay and I honestly am and they don't believe me I guess I just go back into my head again and all

Well, this is a long ass post so feel free to ignore it lol I'm just rambling without even talking about what's actually wrong like usual

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i-need-air · 3 years

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Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

#bakugou katsuki x reader #noirewrites #hybrid!bakugou #hybrid!au #bakugou x reader #bakugou headcanons #bnha x reader

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theladyofdeath · 3 years

Text

Life As We Know It {Chapter 12}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby's blogs! >> @snelbz

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

* In case you missed the announcement - we will now be posting chapters 3 days a week! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. We hope you continue to enjoy the story!

** Trigger warning: Miscarriage.

This chapter is legit a roller coaster, ngl. Enjoy. ;)

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Nesta stood in the living room of Elain’s house with Nyx on her hip, feeling guilty for dropping Nyx off for the night even though Elain was the one to offer.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Gives these little cousins some bonding time.” She reached out and took Nyx’s chubby little hand. “Besides, you and Cassian both need time to recoup.”

She wasn’t about to deny that. It had been a week since her not-date with Balthazar, a week since she and Cassian had uttered more than passing comments on how Nyx had acted throughout the day to each other.

Every time she looked at him, she found him already watching her and the fact got under her skin.

It became an unspoken thing that whenever she cooked dinner, she would make an extra helping and put it in the fridge for him. Not because she felt like she needed to, but because it made her feel better about their awkward arrangement. The longer time went on, the more she realized that as much as she’d been acting like taking care of Nyx together was a death sentence to her social life, he was going through the same thing.

And when she got home, she planned on making dinner for the two of them to share together. A sort of white flag of truce between them.

It was the least she could do. “Call me the second something happens-.”

“We’ll be fine,” Elain said, taking Nyx from Nesta and kissing her sister’s cheek. “Now, go. Relax. Take a bubble bath with some wine or something. Read one of those filthy books you used to hide in your closet.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed.

Elain’s smile widened.

After a tough goodbye, Nesta was heading toward her car and driving back home, making a quick stop at the grocery store just around the corner.

She quickly got all of her fixins, prepared to make one of her favorites - salmon, rice, and green beans. A glance at the calendar that morning told her he would probably be home around five, which gave her just under two hours to make dinner. Easily doable, she’d made three-course meals in less time, for much harsher customers.

Yet she couldn’t figure out why her stomach was in knots.

When Cassian came home, he opened the front door and froze. The quiet in the house unnerved him. Usually, there was some random white noise to fill the house, whether that was the television or one of Nyx’s inane toys that distracted him so well. But as he walked through the house, the TV wasn’t on and he couldn’t hear much of anything.

Until he heard a throat clear from the kitchen.

Instantly, Cassian was on alert, not liking the sound at all, recognizing who it had belonged to, but silently, he made his way into the kitchen.

Nesta was sitting at the table, a plate of food in front of her, with an identical one at the spot he typically sat in.

“What’s…going on?” He asked, slowly taking another few steps into the kitchen.

Nesta stood and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before taking it back over to where he hovered between the table and the doorway. She held the cold bottle out to him. “This is a truce.”

“A tru-?” He took it, but shook his head, not quite understanding her. “Where’s Nyx?”

“He is having a sleepover with Seph, Elain and Azriel. Elain wanted us to have a night off,” she said, sitting back down at her seat. “So I made us dinner.”

“You made us dinner?” he repeated, staring at the plates. “For the two of us to have? Together? At the same table?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, unless you don’t want it.”

Cassian cleared his throat as he pulled the chair out across from her and popped open his beer. “I won’t turn down free food. Especially when it’s made by an expert.”

Nesta said nothing more as she cut into her salmon. “An expert?”

“You get paid for cooking,” Cassian said, picking up his fork and collecting a pile of green beans. “That makes you an expert. A professional.”

“This is a lot of compliments,” she said, watching him carefully as he ate.

“Maybe I’m jumping on board with this whole truce thing,” he said, mouth full of food.

Nesta wanted to chastise him about his manners, but bit her tongue. “You weren’t on board with it to begin with?”

He chewed slowly and then set his fork down. “Neither of us have…handled this very well,” he admitted, taking a drink from his beer. “And I’m willing to take a portion of the blame, but not all of it.”

Nesta weighed his words carefully. They were blunt, but not untrue. Sure, he’d acted like an ass many times, but she had only responded in kind. She knew she could be a bitch, and she knew she did it well. Sometimes too well.

“For this to be an official truce,” she began, holding her wine glass in her hand, swirling it once, twice, “there has to be terms we both agree on.” His eyebrows raised, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Mine are that we have to communicate. When you get frustrated or pissed at me, you can’t just bottle everything up until it all explodes. And when I get overwhelmed, I promise not to snap at you or act like such a…”

“A bitch?” He provided, when she stumbled over her words, smiling around the beer bottle pressed to his lips.

She wasn’t able to stop the smile growing on her own face, as she said, “Thank you, asshole. But yes. Those are my terms.”

He took a drink and nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle those.”

“And what are your terms?” She asked, cutting into the flaky fish for another bite.

He was quiet for a moment, debating. Nesta took a sip from her wine glass while she waited, watching as thought after thought passed across his face.

“I want to get to know you,” he said, finally. “I want to know who you are and I want you to know me.”

Nesta cocked her head to the side. It was a simple request, but Nesta wasn’t exactly good at allowing people to get to know rher. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

“A simple conversation will do,” he said, shrugging. “Over salmon and alcohol. Mostly alcohol.” He reached across the small table and picked up her wine bottle, filling up her wine glass to the brim.

“Getting me drunk so that I open up?” Nesta asked, sipping from that wine glass.

Cassian chuckled. “I would never.”

She watched her for a second, before taking another larger drink and setting it down. “Fine. Then it’s a truce.” He smirked, glancing over the table between them and then leaned over to look on the counter. “What?”

“I’m just looking for an official notice.” His smirk grew into an all out grin. “Something to sign. I figured you’d called up Tarquin and had some official documents written up.”

“You think you’re so funny.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled, reaching an open hand across the table.

“Truce,” he said, taking her hand in his. They shook once, and Cassian was struck by how much smaller her hand was than his, yet by how firm her grip was. It was an impressive, professional handshake.

“So what do you want to know?” She asked, scooping some rice onto her fork and getting a bite of fish to go along with it.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it and she began to wonder whether they should have laid down some boundaries. But he asked, “You went to the University of Velaris, right? What did you study there?”

Nesta blinked in surprise, not having expected the question. “Business and marketing.”

Chewing slowly, Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Nothing culinary?”

She shook her head. “No, I liked cooking, but I never thought it would become my career. I majored in business and marketing, with a minor in communications.”

“That sounds…” He fought for the words for a second. “Boring.”

Taking a drink of her wine, Nesta chuckled. “Oh, it was,” she admitted. “The longest four years of my life, but I’ve got the pretty, little diploma with my name written on it to show for them.”

“And how did you learn about food? How to cook?”

She shrugged. “I taught myself. I graduated college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I got a data entry job at a marketing firm and spent my free time in the kitchen, trying and testing and tasting.” She paused, and her eyes fell to her plate. “Before my dad died, he listened to my idea about starting a small restaurant, with a few of my favorite recipes on the menu. He left me the money to do it in his will.”

“And now?” he pressed, although his voice held a certain gentleness. “Are you successful and thriving?”

Nesta snorted. “I make enough to live and pay the few of servers I have. If that’s successful, then I suppose.”

Cassian nodded in appreciation. “I’d say it is. What about the future? Bigger restaurant? Multiple restaurants?”

“Someday,” Nesta said, with a longing in her voice. “And what about you? And your guitars? Surely you don’t want to be a bartender forever.”

Cassian shrugged. “I don’t mind the bartending. Good tips and I meet a lot of interesting people.”

“But?” Nesta asked.

“But,” Cassian repeated, huffing a laugh. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly say that managing a bar is my passion.”

“So, guitars then?” Nesta asked, brow raised. “You’re really talented. Your guitars are beautiful.”

Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, wide as he slowly set down his fork. “Holy shit, did you just compliment me?”

Nesta’s lips pursed as she kicked his shin under the table.

“I’ve always been good with my hands. Not like that,” he said, pointing at her when he saw the smirk growing. “I mean, creating things, playing instruments, even something as mundane as making drinks. If it’s something I can do with my hands, I typically love it and nine times out of ten, I’m good at it.” There was none of the cockiness she’d come to know in his voice. Just pure explanation, and a bit of devotion. “I’ve tried my hand at making furniture and little knickknacks, but there’s nothing that compares to building an instrument from scratch.”

“And you do it all? Yourself?” She asked, taking another bite.

He nodded. “I start with a few rough pieces of wood. Sand it, stain it, and boom, brand new guitar.”

Snorting, she lifted her wine glass to her lips. “I think you may have missed a few steps in there.”

“Well, I didn’t want to bore you,” he chuckled.

“How long have you been playing guitar?” Nesta asked, finishing off the last of her food.

Cassian took a minute to think about it, then shrugged, finishing off his beer. “As long as I can remember. I grew up with my mom in Illyria. They live simply up there. Music is…a way of life. It grew on me quickly. Mom bought me my first guitar that a friend of hers had made before I could even walk.”

Nesta chuckled, quietly. “Just like you did for Nyx.”

Cassian nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink?” he asked, nodding toward her emptied glass.

“Sure,” she said. “But, wine is gone. I think there’s some tequila in the cabinet.”

Cassian lifted a brow as he rose. “Tequila?”

Nesta grinned as he went to the cabinet. “Make me a drink, bartender?”

Cassian laughed as he grabbed the glass bottle from the cabinet. “I can. What’ll it be? Tequila sunrise? Margarita? Pretty sure we have some lime juice, somewhere.”

“I’m not picky,” Nesta promised.

She heard him laugh. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that, Archeron.”

“Only where it counts,” she replied, smiling at him. She picked up their empty plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher. Turning, she found him setting a shot glass with salt on the rim down on the counter. She chuckled. “That’s not what I asked for.”

“First of all, you technically didn’t ask for anything in particular,” he said, pointing at her as he crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Secondly, this is the most classic drink I can make you with tequila. It’s the oldest recipe in the books.”

She outright laughed. “That’s cause it’s just straight tequila.”

“Exactly,” he grinned and damn it, if her heart didn’t skip a beat. “I lied, no lime juice.”

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “But if I’m doing sloppy shots, you’re joining me.”

“Oh, I never say no to shots,” he said, grabbing another from the cabinet.

He filled them up, and slid one to Nesta, who took the glass in her hand and held it up.

Cassian clinked his against hers, and they tossed them back.

Nesta’s face didn’t change a bit, and Cassian met her steady eyes. “Impressive.”

“Not my first tequila shot, Nazari,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “What else do you want to ask me?”

He leaned down on the countertop, letting his arms lay flat. “Hmm.” He let his fingers drum quietly. “What did you want to be when you grew up? Or was it always a chef?”

She scrunched up her nose. “I was convinced I was going to be a doctor, I wanted to help people. But then I found out how many years of school was required to be a doctor. So I decided I wanted to be a nurse.”

Cassian carefully poured a couple more shots. “And what happened to that dream?”

“I found out that the sight of blood makes me queasy. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I pass out.”

He laughed. “That seems like enough to throw off a career plan.”

“Yep,” she admitted, picking her wine glass up.

Cassian filled up the shot glasses, once more, and slid hers back to her. She set down her wine glass and snorted as she tossed it back.

“You know what we should do?” Nesta asked, and Cassian lifted a brow in question. “Go for a swim. We’ve been here over a month and have yet to use the pool that I’ve been cleaning, daily.”

Cassian took his shot before watching her, closely. “Last one in has to share their deepest, darkest secret.”

Nesta scoffed. “What are we, children?”

Cassian grinned as he pushed himself back from the counter. “Scared of a little competition? Afraid to lose?”

They stared at each other in silence for a minute before Nesta jumped off the counter, and ran up the stairs to throw on her swimsuit.

Cassian and his heavy footsteps were close behind.

It took her a few minutes to remember where her swimsuits had been packed, and from the slamming of drawers down the hall, it seemed Cassian was in a similar predicament. She finally found a two piece stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer, not exactly what she had been looking for, and hesitated before stripping down and pulling the bottoms on. Nesta was out her bedroom door before she even had the top fully tied, pulling it into a hastily tied bow behind her back. Her feet carried her as she flew down the stairs, but she froze when she opened the sliding glass door and found him already in the water.

He grinned from where he had his muscular arms resting on the side of the pool, and his hair was soaked, pushed back off of his face. With the wide smile on his face, he looked so much younger, almost boyish.

With a sigh, Nesta turned and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers in each hand and made her way back onto the lit up patio.

“I win,” he said, smirking up at her.

The tongue she stuck out at him wasn’t her most quick witted response, but she was trying not to let her eyes drift beneath the water. When she suggested the pool, she hadn’t been thinking of how much skin would be on display, for either of them.

“That’s because you only had one piece to put on,” Nesta said, sitting near him by the edge and handing him a drink.

“Hey, if you only wanted to put on one of those pieces, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he protested, and Nesta had to hide the way his suggestive tone, those words, made her blush.

He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he popped open his beer and took a long, slow drink.

“So how about that secret?” He asked, voice lowering.

“Hmmm,” she crooned, tapping her chin. “Which to share when I have so many to choose from?”

Cassian chuckled. “You would have an endless string of secrets. Come on, what skeletons are in your closet? Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Nesta had a lot of those, too. She wasn’t exactly the “open” type.

There was one true secret she kept though. One that no one else had known, not even Feyre or Elain. Just her and…

She hesitated and he looked up at her, caught the look on her face. “What?”

Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to kill the mood.”

The hand holding the bottle was right next to her thigh, and he let his pinky skim over her skin. “That kind of secret, huh?”

She gnawed into her lip, nodding.

“I’ll tell you mine, if it helps,” Cassian said, looking up into her face.

She slipped into the pool, thankful the water was warm, and shook her head. “That wasn’t our agreement.”

He stayed quiet, letting her process her own thoughts.

Sinking beneath the water, Nesta re-emerged, slicking her hair back. After a steadying breath, she said, “I’m sure you remember Tomas, my ex who interrupted our date?”

The mention of their date surprised Cassian, after so many weeks of them dancing around it. He nodded.

“We were together for a long time, you know? All through college.” She wasn’t looking at him, wouldn’t meet his eye. “I got pregnant just after our senior year. I had never wanted kids, you know? Wasn't the family type, at all. Never saw myself having a family. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head. “It didn’t matter. I miscarried.”

Cassian continued to look at her, continued to watch as she stared blankly ahead.

“I got excited about it, too, which is ridiculous,” she went on. “For a moment, for those few weeks that I thought Tomas and I would be starting a family… I actually got excited.”

“How far along were you?” He asked, gently.

She answered immediately, with no hesitation. “Thirteen weeks. It was like one day I was pregnant, carrying our child and the next… The baby was gone.” She was quiet for a moment. “I woke up one morning and there was blood, so much blood. Tom was already at work, so I drove myself to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do.”

Cassian recognized the slow blinking, knew she was reliving those slow, sad moments again.

“I was dying inside, trying to come to terms with the fact that our baby was gone, and Tomas got home and-.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him. “He asked what I was making for dinner. He didn’t even acknowledge that our child was gone and… l guess that’s when I decided to do the same. To pretend nothing happened. We didn’t really talk much about it. We never told our families, I never told Feyre or Elain. Our father died about a month later and it all seemed so insignificant at that point. But Tom and I never recovered, our relationship at least. We broke up a few months later and…” Nesta shrugged. “Life kept going. I decided to open my restaurant and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, quietly.

She finally looked at him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t make it any less painful of a memory,” he countered.

She just nodded. “It’s how it was supposed to be though, right? Wasn't meant to be.”

Cassian took another drink as he nodded, slowly.

“Anyway,” she began, clearing her throat before dunking herself back down under the water.

“Would you like my secret?” He asked, when she turned and rested her arms on the edge of the pool.

She shrugged. “If you feel so inclined. You didn’t lose the bet.”

He leaned back, letting his arms drape across the edge of the pool as well. “When I was eighteen, I broke my back. I decided to take a year off before I started school, and was working construction over the summer to save money. I wanted to travel for a while. But then I took a bad fall off a roof. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then was stuck in my bed for another ten. And Rhys and Az stayed by my side the whole time. They put off their last hoorah vacations before they went off to college to stay with me.”

Nesta’s eyes drifted to Cassian, drops falling from her lashes. “Doesn’t seem like a secret if people know about it.”

“You didn’t know,” he shot back.

Nesta smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Fair. That sounds awful.”

“It was,” he agreed. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I don’t like to stay still for very long.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Nesta said, a little spark returning to her eye. “It was torture,” he followed, finishing off his drink. “Not being able to move. I played so many damn board games that I never want to look at one ever again.”

“Even if Nyx asks?” Nesta inquired.

Cassian gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, he’s the exception.” Nesta laughed, and Cassian shook his head. “I’d do anything for that kid. I think Rhys knew that, when he named me godfather.”

She understood that, related to it completely. Especially considering they had been named godparents together, regardless of their mutual distaste for the other. Their love for Nyx, for Rhys and Feyre, had been evident to everyone.

“I miss him,” she admitted, resting her cheek on the concrete. “I know it’s only one night, and I’m beyond appreciative, but… It’s weird not having him right inside.”

He nodded. “I get it. I do, too. I know Az and Elain can take care of him, and I’m sure he had a blast with Seph before they went to bed, but it hasn’t stopped me worrying about him.”

Nesta nodded, stretching her back. She took a drink from her beer. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”

He blew out a harsh breath and drained his own bottle before answering. “I never really considered it much, when I was younger. After my back healed, I was so focused on getting back to life that relationships and dating weren’t high on my priority list-.”

“But fucking was?” Nesta asked, smirking.

He rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly with a shoulder. “Maybe I was interested in sex more than relationships, I’ll admit. But before I knew it, my early twenties had come and gone. Everyone I knew was getting married and had babies on the way and… I was still the one living the bachelor life and decided to just run with it.”

“I get that,” Nesta agreed. “After…everything that happened with Tomas, I never wanted that again. My date with you and my date with Balthazar are the only two proper dates I’ve been on since college.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “And have you been on any improper dates?”

Nesta didn’t answer. Instead, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she finished off her beer.

Cassian’s grin widened. “I never knew you were such a freak, Archeron.”

“Oh, fuck off,” she muttered, which just made him laugh harder.

“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you talking about our infamous date so often tonight,” Cassian said, pulling himself out of the pool.

Nesta couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed, how the drops of water streamed down his back, between his shoulders, down to his waistline and the swim trunks, which rode low on his hips. She cleared her throat. “I didn’t say anything nice about that date, did I?”

“Absolutely not, but is there really anything nice to say?” he asked, sliding the screen door open. “I mean, you were an absolute nightmare.”

She gawked after him as he went inside, and once he came back with a small pyramid of beer cans, Nesta said, “I was a nightmare? You were a complete disaster!”

He scoffed, setting the cans down and cannon balling back into the pool. Even though she was already in the water, Nesta couldn’t help the squeal that left her. Cassian was grinning when he came up for air. “I forgot my wallet. I fully intended to pay you back, both monetarily and with the best sex you’d ever had in your life, but you decided to get huffy, stomp back to your front door and slam it in my face.”

“Oh, please,” Nesta said, reaching for a can and popping it’s top. Foam erupted from the opening and she put her mouth to it before it could drip into the pool. “You were over twenty minutes late, you wore work boots and a leather jacket to the nicest restaurant in Velaris, and we ran into your fuck buddy.” She drank deeply from the can, emptying it in one go. “As for the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I’ve become very accustomed to and am just fine with my own hand, so you’re going to have to try pretty hard to do better than I myself can.”

She wiggled her fingers in his face and before she could register what was happening, his hand was wrapped around her own. As if he didn’t already know that. Cassian had caught her getting herself off in the bathtub, a memory that was seared into both of their heads. He tugged her closer and the empty can fell from her hands, floating on top of the water.

“I was talking about the past, sweetheart, but you seem to be talking about the present,” he breathed as her chest brushed against his own. “Who says my offer still stands all these years later?”

“You’d be a fool not to make that offer,” she breathed, and she knew the scent of beer was all he was breathing in.

“And would you accept it if I were?” he asked, one hand still wrapped around hers, the other snaking its way around her waist. “Still offering?”

Nesta’s breath hitched as their mouths grew so close, too close, close enough to reach out and taste his lips with a brush of her tongue.

It was tempting.

It would be stupid. Alcohol fogging her brain or not, Nesta knew it would be stupid.

But it was tempting, and in that moment, there were very few things Nesta could think about other than his hands against her skin, his lips a breadth width away from her own, and his cock she could very prominently feel twitching against her thigh.

Nesta’s lips brushed softly against his as she said, “Try and find out.”

#nessian #snacmc #snacmc lawki #modern au #lawki #fanfic #fanfiction #sjm #acotar #acosf

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jay-and-dean · 4 years

Text

Don’t look down, Baby Part 1/3

Dean x reader

Summary : Dean told her to ignore the “thing” between them and to jump in any guy’s arms. Any of them but him.

When we think of a guy our Y/n could be with, longing for Dean, it’s usually a nice dude, a little boring, right ? Because who can compete with Dean ? Now, what if this guy was as badass as Dean ?

Characters : Dean Winchesters, Sam Winchester, Reader, Abraham Hale (OC)

Warnings : Angst, jealous Dean, Smut (unprotected sex -you’re smarter than this !-, oral, also kinda lame sex if it’s a warning), cheating, swearing, smoking, drinking... More warnings in the second part.

Wordcount : 6k (yes, just the part one... now you get why I cut it.)

Note : So for the Aestetic, I used the face of Jax Teller from Sons Of Anarchy, and you have to know, even if Abraham Hale looks like him, he is totally an OC.

This is writen both in Reader and Dean’s Pov. Dean’s thought are in italic.

Text divider by the talented @talesmaniac89

Jay’s Masterlist

September 16, 10:33pm

Dean’s POV

I always thought that when Y/n finds a guy, it would be the perfect douche I wanted for her. Some nice dude named Robert, a cop maybe, or a realtor with a friendly family.

He would annoy me to death with his stories about growing up in a farm, and call her Pumpkin. He would worry a little when she goes out with us because he thinks we drink too much when we’re together.

He would tear her from me and I would hate him for that. She would skip a hunt to meet his parents, another to spend a few days in the cabin he rented… But even if it breaks my heart, it would be exactly what I want for her, so I would let her go.

I had it all planned.

But, of course, she didn’t play by the rules.

And that guy is no Robert…

His loud manly laugh tears me from my thoughts. His tattooed hand wraps around his whiskey glass and I turn my head to that waitress that always gives me warm smiles, she’s staring at him now, with the sweetness that was once for me.

Abe.

Ex-gang member, Abe. Bad guy turned good. Raised by the widow of a gang member, in a violent environment, he already had a criminal record at fourteen, started selling guns before he was officially allowed to drink, ended up in prison at Twenty-two.

Sweet smile Abe. Reformed bad boy with an attitude. Became a hunter after he met a vampire gang and slew them to the last. Now defender of the good citizen, he found his fight, and the hunters talk about him as one of the bests.

Afraid of nothing and ready to fight, charismatic, alpha Abe. His muscular arm in the back of my girl, his long blond hair falling on his face when he lights up a cigarette in a grunt of content while she touches his neck.

Abe. My new nemesis.

“So Dean” he says with his deep voice hoarse from smoking too much. “How did you meet my girl ?”

I met her on a hunt, invited her to my room and took her on that wall. Do you remember, Y/n ? Don’t look down baby, look at me.

“On a hunt.”

“That’s how I met her too” he smiles and kisses her temple. “Seems like we have a lot in common.”

“Looks like we do” I state.

Her eyes darken and she turns her head, I know how to read her, she is pissed, and I don’t even know why. I did nothing, I said nothing, and her rock-and-roll version of prince charming is worshiping her, so what causes that bitterness ?

What is it, baby ? Am I missing something ?

“So I heard your brother and you have this fucking palace ?” he gives me a corner smile, smoke coming out of his nose.

“Who told you that ?” I grunt.

What is the point of a secret bunker if it is as secret as a freaking tweet ?

He chuckles and takes a sip of his whiskey, not answering.

Abe never answers all the questions he is asked, maybe it is some cool thing for guys like him, maybe it is his way of look mysterious or powerful. What is sure is, as annoying as it is, it freaking works. But each time he smirks with his eyes lost in the bottom of his glass in a little huff instead of speaking, I get closer to losing it and smashing his pretty face on the table.

“I told him” she says almost coldly. “Like you did all your friends, Abe is my boyfriend, Dean.”

I nod. What can I say, she’s right after all. She’s always right…

She was right about that cop being the bad guy the first time we hunted together, right about the fact that my so-called bond with Amara would fade the second she gets whatever she wanted. She was right about Jack being a good kid but dangerous enough to need to be watched and educated instead of pushed away. Right about Mary hurting me more than I admitted…

She was right when she said I was wrong. The day I told her we shouldn’t sleep together again, that she should just ignore that thing between us and jump in any guy’s arms. Any of them but me…

I really say that : any of them. I did.

Did you choose Abe just to annoy me, baby ? To prove a point ? You had to bring a guy who would beat me at my own grumpy-loner-badass-crap-drink-too-much game, right ?

“That place sounds sure awesome, because Y/n keeps coming back to it” he states, not letting me know the true meaning he puts in that sentence, his piercing blue eyes free of any emotions on the surface.

“Well it’s home for her” I say, and that bastard chuckles. “Is it funny ?”

“Not at all !” he says with a warm and kind laugh, and a friendly tap on my shoulder. “You should relax Dean, you look like the bar is full of demons !”

I stay stern, I know I should probably look friendly, but I rarely hated someone nice that much.

He gets up and kisses her head before he walks away, his manly way to move catching women’s attention, and some men’s too. One of his hand goes through his blond hair while he walks to the bathroom with the other hand deep in his jeans’ pocket.

“So… Abe, huh ?” I ask, the second he’s gone.

I should be more coherent, I know. I want her gone, but I want her for me. I was sure I was ready to see her with someone else, it’s been three years. Three years ! After we only made love six times. She is not mine, she never was.

And I thought calling her Baby in my head would make me strong. It’s a weird feeling, like I could let her be happy, but still feel special. I would have been the passion of her youth, the one that died young and of which she would think a little when she rocks her baby in her pretty house…

I had somehow romanticized my heartbreak.

But that doesn’t feel romantic at all. And all I can think of is that he is passion too, I’m not dead, and I just have to see him touch her and imagine them at night…

“Yes” she says, still with that bitterness in her voice. “You could make an effort, Dean. He has been nothing but nice, and you act like he’s an enemy.”

“I haven’t decided if he is one yet.”

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head in disapproval.

I recognize hurt. My Y/n, when she’s hurt, she gets angry. Always. And I made her angry so often. Her irritation is growing, I can see it in her burning eyes.

“You can’t do that” she says low. “You can’t treat him like that, no one gives you the right.”

“And him ?” I dare asking, staring at her reddened face. “Does he treat you right ?”

Her eyes fills with tears again and her jaw clenches.

“Better than you did, you mean ?” her words feel like a stab in my heart.

Reader’s POV

I didn’t want to say that, it came out by itself.

I’m thin-skinned lately. I feel like I could cry or scream any moment, all the time. My emotions have always been loud, my sensibility overwhelming, but for a few weeks I’m drowning.

The fact that I decided to try to get over Dean Winchester probably caused that.

A long time ago, I thought living with Dean without ever having him would be the worst, then I saw him with other women and was convinced I was mistaking before : the worst was definitely that. How wrong was I ?

The worst is having had him. Not once, but several times, each time a little more intimate. More kisses, more touches, more suspended seconds watching in each other’s eyes… Until we spent that night together, that last night, and he fell asleep against me for the first time.

It was over. It was too much for Dean, and not enough for me.

Dean Winchester can’t belong to anyone, not again. He doesn’t want to be a boyfriend, and he doesn’t want me to be his girl ; who am I to insist ?

“Well, that’s a minimum” he answers in a soft groan after a little while, and my heart breaks because I just did what I swore I would never do : Reproach him for any of it.

“I’m sorry” I sigh, thinking of those weeks after the last night, when I had to hide the worst pain I ever felt because I didn’t want him to feel bad about not wanting me.

I still do... -feel that pain and try to hide- because Abe or not, I still live with Dean and he doesn’t deserve to carry my pain on top of the world on his shoulders.

“Can you at least try ?” I beg, low, seeing my boyfriend getting out of the restroom but stopping next to the door to talk to someone he obviously knows.

“Yes” Dean answers. “I’m just… He’s a hunter and…”

“He’s a good man” I assure him, looking at Abe walking toward us above Dean’s shoulder. “He comes from a dark place, like us, but he is a good man.”

September 21, 08:12pm

“That place is crazy !” Abe says, sitting at the table of the library. “I have never seen anything like this.”

While Sam tells him a little more about the bunker, I look at my boyfriend.

I stare at him, trying to get rid of that uncomfortable impression, that feeling screaming that he doesn’t belong here ; because if he doesn’t belong in the bunker, then he probably just has nothing to do in my life.

A lot of memories cross my mind, like it happens a lot lately.

The memory of entering the bunker for the first time and deeply knowing that, as long as I am welcome here, this would be my home. Because it just feels right and because, even if I’m not the granddaughter of Henri Winchester, he trusted me with this place, as much as he trusted his family. That man actually welcomed me like Mary never really did, like I was just as legit as blood.

At his frank smile, the memory of meeting Abe crosses me too. I was alone in this hunter bar, trying to get information for a case. I hadn’t told Sam and Dean that I would go there, because I know how much uncomfortable the hunter community makes them. And I was introduced to him : Abraham Hale. I found him so beautiful, with his mischievous smile that seemed to mock the entire world, his wheat blond hair and his tattoos. Something felt so safe about him, not because he looked like a bad boy, but because he was light and happy, laughing at everything and taking nothing seriously… All that Dean wasn’t.

I loved his wild energy right away. Abe was like the drums in a rock song, like summer wind. In his arms, I forgot about Dean for a few seconds a day during the first weeks. We spent days sleeping and having sex behind the curtains of that motel room, hiding from summer heat, and nights drinking and listen to rock music...

But now I look at him, his bright blue eyes seem pale next to the deep green looking back, and his beauty is bland.

“Thank you for showing me your home, Treasure” he says, putting a tender hand on my back like he always does.

And my eyes cross Dean’s.

I know what he’s thinking, he’s cringing at the nickname, and that reminds me why I am with Abe : Dean never gave me a nickname, he never called me anything else than my name, he will never and even when others do, he thinks it’s lame and cheesy.

Dean’s POV

That hurt on her face again.

Baby, you can’t look at me like that each time he calls you Treasure . I don’t like it, but you’re supposed to do.

This is much harder than I thought, and I was aware it would be impossible.

Each and every one of his actions makes me face my own contradictions : The more loving he is, the more I want to push him away from her. But the more she seems distant and to have her head in the clouds, the more it eases the pain. Am I selfish enough to hate her happiness even though I love her ?

I was in control, during those three years not touching her, my heart was aching with craving and my soul was screaming at me to make her love me. But as much as the heartbreak was constant, I had chosen it. I was in control.

I never realize that it was only bearable because she was still here, my partner, my best friend, my roommate. Mine.

Now she took it back. She raised her middle finger right in my face and decided she wouldn’t be mine anymore.

And that is a whole new level of pain.

I don’t sleep when she’s not home, and sometimes food just won’t let me eat it. She texts during our movie nights and wears that pendant he gave her. I hate that pendant because it reminds me I never gave her a present. Not once in all those years.

“Another drink ?” Y/n asks him with the bottle in her hand.

“Don’t you drive ?” I cut him before he answers and I see her eyes shoot me with imaginary bullets.

I’m sorry Baby but it’s movie night tonight, can’t he just leave already ?

“He’s right” she says giving me a little hope that she will ask him to leave soon. “You should stay for the night.”

My breathing gets stuck in my lungs.

No Baby, don’t do that to me. Please.

“With pleasure !” he smiles.

September 21, 11:49pm

Reader’s Pov

He grabs my thigh to lift it a little and grunt in my ear. His kisses are hot on my neck, his heavy body moving cautiously on top of me.

My eyes are on the ceiling, my hands on his sweaty muscular back and I wait.

Damn, what is happening ? He’s close, I am going to fake it ? I swore I would never fake, I swore if the guy can’t get me there, he should know, but… Abe is not the problem, I am.

I just watch the ceiling wondering what is wrong with me. He did everything right, nice foreplays and those love words he always has for me. But nothing seems to turn me on anymore, and without the need and the pleasure, his thrusts are just uncomfortable and I feel weird.

Come already.

I sigh. I know what is making this impossible. Dean. This fucker is the last I had in my own bed, the only one in fact. And everything reminds me that Abe is not Dean fucking Winchester !

“You okay Treasure ?” he pants in my ear, nibbling at it.

I’m not a freaking snack, what is it with his mouth and teeth always ?

“Yes” I fake a moan. “I’m close Abe, come.”

Just don’t be loud, that would be so awkward.

When he loses rhythm, I close my eyes at the relief, it won’t be long now, make it stop. He shakes a little and grunt loud, filling the condom inside of me ; and, to make my fake moans credible, I clench my walls around him one time or two, rolling my eyes at his proud groan.

Sex with Abe used to be so much more than this. I'm getting frustrated. Did I break something in me ? Why can't I enjoy anything anymore ?

He rolls on my side, panting, and smiles tenderly at me. He’s beautiful, I have to admit that, and he’s nice and loving.

“You’re amazing” he hums. “I guess I can’t smoke in your bedroom ?”

“I don’t mind” I answer sincerely. “The air co is magical, just, don’t smoke more than one.”

He sits on the bed to get his pants, his beautiful tattooed back on me. The smoke flies in pretty wreath. I put my hand on the lion tattooed on his back. It suits him, with his solar attitude and his confidence, his beautiful blond hair…

Yet I keep longing for my wolf.

Dean’s Pov

Now I know I could kill him. And now I know what the limit amount of pain I can take is.

I pace my room like a crazy man. He is taking her, my Baby. He is sinking inside of her and stealing pleasure. Does she wrap her legs around him like she always did with me ? To push me deeper. Is she as responsive ? As lost in pleasure as she was ? With that way only she has too beg for more with her entire body, voice strangled and arms caging me the best she can…

Is she…

“F-fuck…” I whine, holding my heart.

I think I just felt it break.

Baby…

Breathing is painful now, I feel like I’m drowning.

Baby… Why did you have to do that to me ? I know I hurt you but your revenge is unbearable.

I sit on my bed, still holding my chest.

I can’t take it, you know.

“Shit” I grunt.

How can this kind of familiar panic attack be back ? How can this hurt so much ? It’s not Hell, it’s not Purgatory…

“It is Hell” I say out loud.

Loosing you, Baby. It’s Hell. Do you love him ? Because…

“Fuck, I love her” I whine.

September 28, 06:05pm

Sitting in my “Fortress of Deanitude”, I wait. The tray with snacks is there, beers too, and Netflix is ready for our next episode of Stanger Things.

But there is a big chance she won’t come. Our movie nights are getting rarer and rarer, like our time together in general. And this place is slowly becoming a Fortress of Solitude…

You never know how much you need something until you lost it, right ? I was stupid enough to think I could be stronger than the need for her and now look at me, alone in that big empty room in a bigger emptier bunker.

All I can think of is how much each day pulls her closer to him and further from me. They are building memories in which I’m not, they are building an intimacy that I lost three years ago. She will forget me and he will have her, maybe even make her change a little, until one day she is among those people who talk about their personal tastes by saying “we”. “We prefer red wine”.

Ew.

Is he going to change my girl, for real ? Make her love Led Zeppelin a little less, make her a little less her, make her want other things, another life, need me less ? Our things will become unimportant and be replaced by all kind of other things I have no idea about.

I take a long sip of my glass. It’s not like I had my word to say anyway. I lost her. I lost her in the worst way possible : willingly.

But just when I’m about to get up and go put the snacks away, she opens the door, panting a little, like she had ran.

“Dean” she says entering the room. “I’m sorry. There was an accident on the road and the traffic was disturbed.”

You were at his place, Baby, and you ran to me ?

A little smile lights up my face when her presence revive my heart.

“It’s okay” I say.

“I’m late, but I have…” she takes her hand out of her purse. “Giant skittles !”

“You found them ?” I smile, sitting straighter when she hands me a bag.

Our things are not all gone. And she still cares about me and about our time together.

“Yup ! I made Abe stop in every shop yesterday.”

So you think of me when you’re with him, Baby ? Have you ever thought of me while he was inside of you ?

“Sit” I pat the armchair next to mine. “Let’s find out if Dusty’s girlfriend exists !”

“I really hope !” she exclaims, taking off her jacket.

I try not to look at her, but when she quickly takes off her jeans to slip in her pajamas pants, I swallow hard. Those thighs could have been for me, and I could have watched the show while holding her.

She sits with her knees up against her chest in the big chair next to me, and takes a beer. My eyes are glued to her, looking for anything unusual, and fearing it more than anything in the same time.

“What ?” she calls me out of my thoughts.

“Nothing, I…” have no idea how to finish this sentence.

“I’m still okay you know ?” she says without looking at me, playing with the label of her beer bottle. “You always stare at me like something had happened to me. I know what you think of Abraham, but he doesn’t treat me bad.”

Reader’s Pov

“I’m sorry” he sighs. “You know how protective I can get. Especially with you…”

A chuckle escapes me and I know he doesn’t like it, but protective with me ? He broke my heart. He ripped it and threw it on the floor because I had said those words.

“Yeah…” I nod, nibbling at my lip. “You won’t find bruises on me.”

He doesn’t answer.

When did we become like this ?

After a silence, he hands me candies and presses play. But, chewing on sugar and my eyes on the screen, I keep my full attention on him.

I have everything any girl would want : A lover with hot blood, beauty and a heart of gold. But I'm not any girl, and the only thing I want is Dean Winchester. The genius who thinks he's dumb, the scared little boy who lost his mom, the leader, the victim of his fate, the killer, the loyal friend, the rebel, the torturer, the perfect brother, the wary hunter, the crappy dancer ; grumpy Dean, childish Dean, stubborn Dean, all of Dean...

I look at him and my eyes travel down his neck, his beard is fighting to grow back there but I know he won't let it. The slow movements of his chest are mesmerizing. My eyes go down, to his thighs and crotch...

I really shouldn't let myself look there but his smell and aura are like a mermaid song and I'm drowning. His strength is radiating of him and I feel myself respond to it in everyone of my heartbeats.

He could make me scream. He always did, so easily. Dean made me cry of pleasure more than once, sometimes without any effort, the brushes of his fingers, the burning of his kisses... And when he finally buried himself inside of me, it was like a firework in Heaven. He never had to do anything really special...

And now I wonder : Is something broken about me ? Abe is passionate and loving, we used to work great, he was easy as whiskey. And he loves me. Why am I unable to enjoy any of it lately ?

My eyes trace the bump in Dean’s pants and I remember the simple ecstasy of feeling his cock twitch for me. Dean... I bite my lip to hold back the moan hanging on my tongue. His thigh moves a little, strong muscles hidden in his jeans, and I think of his stomach contracting that time he came on my tongue. I…

“I see you” his deep serious voice hits the air like thunder.

I look up to meet his eyes and realize I have been staring at his crotch, licking my lips and probably visibly holding back moans.

“Do you need something ?” he asks with a proud aura on his face.

I want to punch that expression off of his perfect features.

I look down and sigh. Yes, I do. I need him, not only want like I would like to think, but need indeed. I need him to feel my body, to make it alive, and to hear my soul breathe again.

“Dean…” I just say.

Like it was an answer or reproach but of course, he hears it for what it is.

A call.

So he gets up, suddenly so tall that he eclipses the TV, the light and my will. He comes in front of me, standing there, making me look up timidly through my lashes. His strong hand lands cautiously on my cheek, gently holding my face while I lean on his touch.

I can resist him. I can.

I think of Abe's sweet smile, of his deep voice and his arms around me. I think of this night he told me about jail and I tried all I could to make him feel safe again, that was a beautiful moment... We are something beautiful Abe and me. We are going to make it right, to make it count. Right ?

As my heart fights itself, playing all the love songs I know at once in my head in a deafening dim of emotions, my eyes fill with tears. I know what is going to happen, and the cruel god writing my story can stop there, the end is already obvious.

I can't resist Dean. I just can't.

And Abe will cry, right ? He trusts me. He will take his bag and yell maybe, the sun inside of him will get clouded, he will drive away. Then I will let my body slide on the door frame, unable to hold my weight up, because I will have broken the only man that ever truly loved me.

I look down to hide the pain from Dean, but he knows me better.

"I can leave" he says.

But it's the last thing I want because I miss him, I miss him like a part of me died years ago and I still feel empty and cold... I miss him when I'm alone, and even more when I'm not.

When he's about to move, take a step back to leave me alone, I grab his belt and hold him in place firmly. I have no plan, no solid thought, but I know I can't be away from him for now. He smells both like the most familiar home and the wildest dream.

My other hand grazes the fabric of his jeans on his thigh, I close my eyes for a second and a little whimper escapes me. I started touching Dean less than a day after meeting him, and it seems I can't be around him without having my hands on his body.

He hums, staring down at me, bow legs slightly parted like he needed balance, like he was gripping the floor for both of us. Dean had always been my anchor. His shoulders look wider from down here and I want nothing more than letting my hands grab his butt to rub my cheek on his crotch like a cat marking its territory.

"Touch me like you need it, Baby" he murmurs and a little sob escapes me unexpectedly.

He never ever called me Baby.

He never gave me any nickname like he never gave me the place I thought I could take in his heart. And Abe, he calls me Treasure. He welcomed me in his heart...

"What's wrong ?" Dean asks like he didn't know.

Dean Winchester is the world's greatest hero, saved basically everyone's life without any reward, and for this he is a saint ; and still, he's the one that is going to be the end of me. Hero or not, he's my villain.

"Everything is wrong, Dean" I answer in a broken voice. "Everything."

He squats in front of me and my hand panics at losing my grip on his belt so it grasps his flannel like my life depends on it.

"Not everything" he whispers, bending to let his poisonous lips graze my skin.

My treacherous mouth opens in reflex at the proximity of his, making him respond by biting my lower lip. I whimper again and pull him closer.

"I got you" he states, letting his burning lips trace down my chin and my neck followed by his thumb, scratching my skin with his short nail. And I catch fire.

I let my head falls back and I surrender totally.

That's how bad he is for me : I could let him break my heart again without an hesitation, after it took me years to recover just enough to just function. And oh, I will. I will shatter the heart of the man that trusts me just to let Dean selfishly remind me how much I love him.

His breath is burning my skin, spreading in the fabric of my t-shirt when he buries his face on my chest, opening his mouth wide to pretend to bite my breast, hand cupping my sides like he had missed me for real. I let go of the plaid fabric to grip the short strand of his hair like I can.

"Dean..." the moan I have been holding comes out, filling the room with sin and the echo of future lies.

"I got you" he repeats.

His hungry hands seize my jeans and tear it open, fighting the metallic button's resistance brutally. The fabric hurts my lower back in a last resistance but is ripped off of me the second after, taking my panties in its way.

And before I can sit straighter now that I'm on the edge of the chair, before I can talk, think or breath. Dean's anaconda arms grab my thighs firmly and his burning breath is on my folds.

"Wh-" I start but what can I say now.

He kisses my folds like no men ever did : like he was in love with that part of me. An open mouth kiss, tongue eagerly lapping my juice from my entrance to my clit.

"AH !" I scream, arching my back but Dean doesn't take a second to breathe, burying his face on me.

I squirm, licking my lips like I was kissing him back but the place he is devouring can only respond with throbs and getting soaked, which is does.

I'm panting, I'm being eaten by the flames of that indescribable pleasure that is back. My stomach is shaking, my temples are beating so loud. I suck a breath when he sucks at my clit, moist hand gripping the leather of the chair.

"Dean" I moan again in the subdued light of the warm room.

He answers with a hum, and his nimble tongue pushes at my entrance, making my thighs shake violently in the vise grip of his arms.

I can't escape what Dean does to me so I let go.

My whole body falls backward when I come, harder than I have in years, holding his hair so tight it might hurt him, legs shaken by electricity, back arching and chest fighting itself to breath. My sensible clit seems to have nerves in my whole body and I fall silent, covered in sweat, suffocated by a forbidden crushing orgasm.

I whimper desperately, limp and lost, panting in the chair like I didn't realize yet what just hit me. But Dean knows what he's doing, he knows where this goes.

He opens his jeans, I can feel it even though I don't see him, my head still back, moaning at the caresses of his tongue on my neck. I bite my lip hard, hand moving from the arm of the chair to his, to feel his eagerness.

And he grabs my thighs harshly, making me fall on the floor with him and holds my back when I can't, keeping me against him.

"So wrong..." I whisper in a dying echo of my disgrace.

His hand grasps my face firmly and makes me look at him. His eyes have this fire in them, he clenches his jaw when I roll my lips a little, wetting his craved cock on me, dying of being finally filled by him.

"Keep your eyes on me" he groans, grabbing his length to guide it at my throbbing entrance.

"Dean..." I moan, fingers reaching his stomach under his clothes to feel it tremble.

"Eyes on me baby" he repeats low.

Dean's Pov

She can't think of him. Not now. I need her with me, I need her for me.

Feel me, baby.

I smile slightly when she dives her unfocused pupils in my eyes. She's perfect and I love her ; but I must say when she seems to surrender so completely to my touch, that's when forgot why I asked her to stay away.

When I enter her, her phone lights up once again in her back, on the floor. I groan loud as she wraps me like only she can, like she was trying to suck me inside her core. She's shaking, she's fighting to keep her eyes on me and I'm fighting that urge to grab her phone and shatter it in a million pieces against the wall.

She gasps, her body threatening to fall back so I hold her.

That's it baby, stay with me, feel me, let me take you like I used to when you were mine.

My hand fists her hair and my mouth gets attracted to her pulse point so I bend to suck at it, barely thrusting for now, just enjoying to be inside of her, feeling her pulsating with desire, the concrete hard floor digging in my knees.

Her arms wrap around me, she cling to me and I try to ignore my jealousy shouting at me.

Baby, you try to ignore me but can he do that to you ? Can he turn you into a purring cat like that ?

"Dean" she moans, clenching around me, her thighs trying to get herself even closer so she takes me impossibly deeper.

"Say you want me" I murmur against her skin in a voice I barely recognize.

"I want you" she gives in, exhaling in my ear.

Behind her, her phone lights up one more time with a text : "I found us a case in California, Treasure."

=> PART 2

FEEDBACK IS GOLD

Tags : @parinarain @mogaruke @masterof-agony @rainflowermoon @tftumblin @deans-baby-momma @roonyxx @thefaithfulwriter @vicariouslythruspn @emeow1496 @daryldixonandfrogs @holylulusworld @cocklesbelli @sandlee44 @screenchingartisancashbailiff @donnaintx @stormchasingchick32 @akshi8278 @magssteenkamp @sister-winchesters99 @neii3n @lyss-dw79 @im-a-shrub @sadwaywardkid@hopelesslydevotedtoyou1912 @slyqueenj @i-love-superhero @waywardsisterandpie @sunsetsandbooks @mrspeacem1nusone @stylesismyhubs @deanwanddamons @jawritter @peridottea91 @chelsea072498 @chocolateheart @vicmc624 @teresa-67 @jessie-michael @doctor-hp-mcu @hawkerz12 @mariaenchanted @hobby27

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jisungsplatforms · 3 years

Text

[Chapter II: The Red Beanie Cutie]

Pairing: Producer/Music Major! Han Jisung x Photographer! fem! reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut; non idol au, college au, strangers to lovers

Warnings: Mature Content! strong language, sexting, masterbation (m&f) + kinda guided masterbation (f), nudes/unsolicited pictures of *certain areas*

Chapter word count: 1.5k (relatively short chapter)

Taglist: @hyunjeongins @seungstarss @es-kay-zee @hyunjinsplaything @formidxble @freckledquokka (want to be added? send an ask or a dm! <3)

Min’s ho3: uh- hi? 👋🏻

this is minho’s “fine ass friend with the red beanie” 👁👁

shitshitshitshit SHIT.

Your mind was jumbled and your palms were sweaty. How the hell did I even get his number? You backtrack to an hour ago, back at the party….To when Minho asked for your phone.

...Minho…...

You bit your lip, trying to think logically. No no no. It’s probably not the red beanie cutie, Y/n. It’s probably just Minho being an ass again and pretending to be his friend. That’s it! At least...That’s what you hope.

Min’s ho3: uhh hello? you still there?

im hoping that this is the cutie who was babysitting hyunjin earlier lol

Your blood ran cold. You really didn’t want to believe it. No way was it really the red beanie cutie.

Me: If this REALLY is the cute boy with the red hat...send me a picture.

You sighed. This should prove something. Your phone ‘pinged’ a second later.

Min’s ho3: damn straight to the point, are you? youre a lot more bold than i thought

You shivered, turning red. As much as you wanted to fuck him, you didn’t want to look desperate.

Me: I meant an INNOCENT picture. Of your face, I mean.

Min’s ho3: uh- duh! that’s what i meant???

what did YOU think??

Your face burned at the thought of misinterpreting his “innocent” message.

Me: Just thought I had to clarify for you! Nasty

Min’s ho3: whatever you say, babe 😙🤪

You gave him a minute for him to respond, putting down your phone to give yourself a breather. You sincerely hope that this was Minho cause that option is MUCH better than accidentally texting the person you’re thirsting over. After about 30 seconds, your phone pinged twice. One from Min’s hoe...and one from Minho ho ho. Oh dear lord.

You decided to read Minho’s messages first. Tapping on his notification, the phone directed you to your chat, revealing the conversation you two had during the party.

Minho ho ho 😼: You’re welcome 😉

You were seriously panicking at this point. Your fingers tapped onto the keyboard like a madman. You didn’t know if you wanted to hug Minho or murder that bitch.

Me: shutupshutupshutup You did NOT

Minho ho ho 😼: Oh but I did, my dear best friend haha gross

Better play your cards correctly, sweetie. Just keep in mind...he asked for your number!

His name is Jisung btw! Be nice to him! He’s a shy, sensitive boy. I’ll kill you if you make him sad!

You ignored Minho’s last sentence and nearly squealed at the information, trying to play it cool. You giddily switched to Jisung’s tab. Huge mistake. You should’ve prepared yourself, at least a little. You knew he was hot but the picture he sent you? Oh boy. His hair, which you now know is blond under that beanie, was tousled, falling perfectly on his gorgeous face. In the picture, he was now wearing a grey hoodie and posed like a model, the expression had was absolutely fierce. Oh yeah, he knows he’s hot shit.

Min’s ho3: *image*

it’s a little messy. srry i tried making it a little nicer for you, you know. since you’re a photography major and all that.

Me: No, It’s fine!! I think you look hot! 👍

You wanted to slap yourself. Oh Lord, please end me. Your phone lit up with another text.

Min’s ho3: oh really? 😏

well i think you’re hot too, y/n 😉😚

AHHHHHH

Me: Wait how’d you know my name? And my major?

Minho’s ho3: uhhh you are minho’s friend right??? cause that’s what he told ME and i’m really hoping he didn’t give me the wrong number…

cause honestly. it is something he would legit do alkskdjks

Me: Rest assured. This really is Y/n the photography major

Min’s ho3: well y/n the photography major

i’m jisung and i think youre hot too

and not to be nsfw or anything but i’d like to fuck you too 😉😉

ohmygoshohmygosh. This is really happening. Taking the little bit of confidence you had, you texted him something you thought was bold.

Me: Oh really now? Think you can fuck me good, pretty boy?

Min’s ho3: oh baby i know i’ll have you seeing stars

fuck you so good you won’t be able to think about anything but me and me only

You had to put down your phone to take another breather. Now, not only were your palms wet but so was between your legs. You’ve never texted with anybody like this but there’s a first time for everything, right? Your dominant hand slid down to your pajamas to tease your clit over the cotton material. Shy, my ass…

Min’s ho3: wait wait wait. before we do anything, just let me confirm something

you are single, right? youre not dating hyunjin or anything??

You stopped your movements on your clit. Am I seeing this right? You reread the message a few more times before bursting out in laughter.

Me: HAHAHAHAHA NO WE’RE NOT

Hyunjin’s my best friend. Been friends since we were 5. Dating Hyunjin would be like dating your brother ew

Min’s ho3: LOL OKAY OKAY. just making sure

infidelity is NOT my thing

You were heart warmed. He made sure you weren’t with anyone before getting nasty. Which shouldn’t make you so touched, it should be a basic common courtesy, but nonetheless, it still made you happy knowing he’s a respectable person.

Min’s ho3: okay now that i know i can have you

do you still want to continue?

Me: Yes daddy ;)

Min’s ho3: oh fuck okay

since you left so early, we didn’t get to talk, beautiful

we could’ve been fucking right now instead of texting

Me: Well...we could do both

Your hand went back to your clit, this time reaching inside your bottoms.

Me: You make me so horny baby

I want you

Min’s ho3: already touching yourself babe? how naughty

I barely even said anything but here you are. playing with yourself like some desperate whore

You whimpered, putting more pressure on your clit. You were never that into degrading but with Jisung? You’d gladly take it any day.

Me: Please tell me what to do sir

Min’s ho3: finger yourself. only one finger tho

You removed your pajamas and panties and flung them to the floor. You rubbed your thigh with one hand and slowly moved it to your sopping core. Gathering your wetness, you fondled yourself before inserting your middle finger inside you. “Hmm...fuck,” you moaned. With your other hand, you checked Jisung’s text when you saw your phone light up.

Min’s ho3: are you doing it baby?

Me: Yes sir

Min’s ho3: really? good. keep playing with yourself

i’ll tell you when i want you to stop

You sighed, pumping your finger. You wanted to enjoy it but it wasn’t enough. You definitely needed something more than just one mere finger. You contemplated whether or not you should disobey Jisung and grab your dildo from between your mattress. But you also wanted to see how much he could make you cum with just his words.

Min’s ho3: one finger babe?

You moved your phone and angled it to show your pussy. You wanted to moan seeing your finger deep inside you. Snapping a pic and sending it to Jisung, you threw your phone beside you and started pumping your middle finger faster, circling your clit with your thumb. Immediately, your phone lit up again.

Min’s ho3: fuck baby you’ll be the death of me

you know what? add two more fingers for me, beautiful. you deserve it

You cried, slipping your pointer and ring finger into your core. Now you definitely feel a lot fuller. You pumped your fingers in and out, breathing heavily. You felt so dirty, taking orders like this from a man you barely even knew. There was something so erotic about the whole thing that it drew you closer to your orgasm.

Jisung, on the other hand, was going insane as well; who wouldn’t be when he’s sexting with the most attractive person he’s ever seen? His right hand pumped his cock like a maniac. He was sweating, biting his thin lips so that no noise can come out, potentially waking up his hyungs. He knew he would die of embarrassment if they caught him masterbating to someone he just met today-or just masterbating in general-but it was getting harder to control himself. Especially with that little surprise photo? Shit- he thought he was in heaven, feeling like he would cum in that moment. The sound of a notification from his phone made his grab it from his desk.

Y/n the cute photographer: Closr! I’m so fuckinf ckose

Wsnna cum si bad

Me: yeah? then cum fir me y/n

With Jisung’s permission, you let your release taint your once clean bed. You shook as you orgasmed, moaning so loud you were glad your roommate was out of town. Once you finished, you slowly pulled your fingers out, wincing when the emptiness kicked in. You laid like a dead fish, trying to catch your breath. Your orgasm was so intense that you almost immediately fell asleep. Almost. A notification from Jisung shook you out of your trance.

(3) new message(s) from Min’s ho3

Min’s ho3: *image*

look how much you drive me mad, baby

hm you’re probably tired now after hopefully cumming so much so i’ll leave you...goodnight, y/n! hope you sleep well tonight cutie 😚

You sighed in frustration. How dare he switch from daddy to baby so fast. How are you supposed to sleep when he sent you a clear, mouthwatering image of his dick and abs covered in his cum?

[PREVIOUS CHAPTER] 📱 [NEXT CHAPTER]

#stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz smut #han jisung smut #han jisung series #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #Late Night Indulges

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yuta-nakamots · 3 years

Text

perfect - z.cl

Pairing - Chenle x Fem!Reader

Genre - fluff, angst, university!au, friends to lovers!au

Warnings - alcohol consumption, mention of drunkeness, lots of arguments, heavy making out, breakups, contains an aged up chenle (26-ish) towards the end

Summary - He’s definitely not your knight in shining armor, he may not be the one you bring home to mother, but he’ll be the one to give you flowers. Chenle is not the right one for you, but he is for right now.

Word Count - 5.2k

A/N - Bolded phrases are song lyrics taken from One Direction’s song ‘Perfect’ and inspired from the lyrics along with all the vlives where Chenle and the members have started yelling out the lyrics.This was supposed to come out back in January but school held it up and now Ana is gone hhhhh. I know she’s still on Tumblr but under a new url so if anyone wants to send this to her, to let her know that I did finish it, that would be nice.

Taglist - @astroboy-lele @in-my-neofeelings || fill out this form if you’d like to join my general taglist ^^

Written for the Sometimes Letting Go… Collab originally hosted by @sunryu who unfortunately deactivated.

When I first saw you from across the room, I could tell you were curious

The mutual attraction between you and Chenle was undeniable. Ever since the two of you first met as freshmen in an econ class, you knew he was your twin flame and he was yours. That initial meeting was almost comical, the way the professor said to pair up and talk to someone next to them for a bit and it seemed like everyone had turned away from you except for the boy sitting next to you.

It seems you both had the same realization as your heads turned and eyes met. “Well I guess you’re my friend for today,” he began, “hi, my name is Chenle. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Y/n,” you told him, “the pleasure is all mine.”

“So, why are you in this class?” He asked, tapping his pen on his leather-bound planner.

You hesitated for a second as you thought about how much to tell him. “I’m majoring in business and this was just one of the mandatory classes in my plan.”

“Hm, same here,” Chenle shared, seeming the slightest bit amused at your similarity, “would you also happen to be in calculus this semester?”

“Section 3 at 10:30?” You counter.

Chenle broke into a smile, “that’s the one.”

“How about freshman seminar?” You asked.

“1:15 in the world language building?” Chenle offered, copying your answer from before.

“Wow,” your eyebrows were raised in actual disbelief, “did you steal my schedule or something?”

“No, but I do believe in fate,” the boy next to you confessed, “would you like to get lunch sometime before freshmen seminar?”

You nodded, “I’d like that,” you stopped mid-sentence when you remembered that you told your friends you’d eat with them, “I am gonna be eating with my friends though so I could introduce you to them if you’d like.”

“Want to bet that we have the same friends too?”

“No way, that would be too coincidental.”

And coincidental it was. Somehow your friends knew some of Chenle’s friends whether it be from high school activities, childhood friends, or even having just met in their own classes. Your small group of five had immediately doubled in size.

Of course, with such a large group of friends, there was much fun to be had and many memories to be made. During midterms is when you were thankful you were majoring in business and not something like biology or chemistry. You could still go out and have fun on weekends with Chenle and the majority of your friends, meanwhile a few poor souls had to stay back to study their ‘reaction mechanisms’ or whatever the heck those things were called.

You quickly found that you weren’t one for parties though you loved to hang out with your friends and have small little parties of your own in the dorms. Every single time, as you all got progressively drunker and started to clock out for the night, it was always you and Chenle left being the two most sober with no other choice but to take care of your friends over hushed conversations.

“How much vodka did Hannah even drink?” Chenle asked while you both worked on cleaning up the mess of solo cups and napkins surrounding your friend who had, unfortunately, drank over half of the bottle. You picked it up, waving it at Chenle to show him. “She’s gonna have a nasty hangover…or at least wake up super dehydrated.”

As you worked on laying a blanket across her, passed out on the floor, Chenle had managed to stuff all the napkins inside the cups he had collected and was busy aiming at the trash can across the room. Right as he was about to shoot, “miss!” you called out. The little stack of cups hit the rim of the plastic trash bin and fell to the floor. Chenle turned to you, sticking out his tongue and imitating the way you caused him to mess up before going to properly dispose of the rubbish.

Instead of simply placing it in the waste, he once again returned to where he stood before, with one eye shut, aiming for the bin. You let out a scoff, ready to disturb him once more. He shot you a glance, knowing what you were planning from the way you just stood watching him. But regardless, he tried again. “Airball” you sang as he released the short stack of cups, sending them flying to the foot of the bin.

Chenle let out a growl, childishly stomping his way over to you while you tried to quietly escape from his grasps through the mess of food and other miscellaneous items on the floor. From the hushed giggles and name-calling from the two of you as you both stumbled around the room, to the whispered late-night thoughts and affirmations spoken from your positions on the floor with your heads resting on the edge of a bed, you barely even noticed how fast time was passing.

“Are you going home for the holidays?” You asked him.

He shook his head, “it’s my first time getting to live away from my parents and whenever I do go back, they’ll probably be expecting me to bring some girl with me.”

You turned to look at him, “why would they expect that?”

“They’re both getting old and want to retire soon,” Chenle started, “so the faster I get married and take over the company, the faster they’ll get to live out the rest of their lives,” he explained.

“Well that’s not very nice of them,” you commented, “what kind of parents would place such high responsibility on their child like that?”

“Mine I guess,” Chenle sighed.

After a moment of silence, you sat up, unsure what to make of the next words to come out of your mouth. “If you want, I could go with you.” Chenle looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “Like, I could be your fake girlfriend or something so that they don’t bother you so much about finding one.”

“That’s…an idea,” he started, biting on the corner of his lip as he played out possible scenarios in his head. “I think that would only make it worse though since we’d both have to make up stories and tell the same information.”

“True. But we could at least make it look believable, don’t you think?” You reached over to pet Chenle’s head the same way you’ve seen him do to his friends. “Oh, Chenle, you’re so cute,” you cooed, “I can’t wait to marry you and be with you for the rest of our lives.”

He grabbed your wrist and put it in your lap, not very keen on the show of affection. “Yeah, I think we’d look like a pretty convincing couple.”

“Do we look good together though?” You pondered. “If we were to show up to an event or something, would we make people stop and stare at us?”

“Anyone can do that if they wear something weird or do something out of the ordinary-“

“Okay but that’s not what I’m asking,” you interrupted, “I’m asking, would we look good together as a couple?”

Chenle shrugged apprehensively, “sure.” Your eyes bore into him as if forcing a more legit answer out of him. “Yes, I think we would look good as a couple.”

It was as if you and Chenle were made for each other. Whatever one did, the other was never too far behind. It was absolutely no surprise to your friends when you told them Chenle had asked you out and you became official. While your college careers continued and friends came and went, Chenle was always with you. He was your solid island in the middle of a tumultuous sea, your oasis in a dried desert. You didn’t need anyone else around to have fun, just him, just the two of you.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous

Being with Chenle was as wild as things could get. It meant impulsive plans and bad decisions. Weekend nights normally consisted of one of you driving with no destination in mind until someone got hungry. Even at that point, the night didn’t end.

Sometimes the two of you would stay out past midnight, not wanting to leave each other’s company just yet. The feeling of the wind whipping past you as Chenle drove or the thrill of gassing it down the freeway was almost dreamlike. One would think that at this point, you’d return home, but for you, your home was wherever Chenle was. If it meant staying in a small hotel room for the night drinking cheap wine out of paper cups then so be it, that was home.

“Baby, you already drank almost half of the bottle, leave some for me,” Chenle teased, his eyes glimmering under the low lighting. The brightness of the small lamp on the desk failed to reach where he was sitting, the cozy armchair too far in the corner for it to be illuminated.

“Come here and get some then,” you suggested, lazily winking at him before downing another shot-sized gulp and enjoying the burn from the liquid running down your throat. The bed you were sitting on wasn’t all that soft but you had already warmed up a little spot of it and gotten too comfortable to move.

Chenle raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I don’t think you want me to do that.”

“Why not?” Your expression mirroring his.

“You wanna find out?

“Maybe I do.”

He let out a scoff and within a second he was on the bed, climbing up and settling over you. His warm breath fanned your neck, the scent of alcohol filling your senses. “Are you sure about that?”

“Fuck around and find out, handsome,” you taunted.

You had barely even finished your sentence before Chenle’s lips were on yours, his usual soft and pillowy lips became hot and heavy against yours under the guide of the fifteen-dollar wine. You were sure that you were definitely getting tipsy but Chenle’s love and passion were even more overwhelming. It was moments like this when you felt that you were drunk off of his love and it was absolutely intoxicating in the best way.

If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do, then baby I’m perfect

It was drunk weekends like this that led to a rocky start of the following week. It’s not that you and Chenle were bad students, it’s just that when you become totally infatuated with the person you love, you start to devote yourself to them instead of what actually needs to get done.

As sophomores in college, one would think that you’d have a little more self-control but with Chenle, you just couldn’t help it. He was worse than any drug you could ever take, to the point where your friends would have to intervene and keep you in your rooms until a substantial amount of work was done.

You called them annoying but really you should’ve been thankful to them for caring so much about you back then, and you are thankful, looking back on it. They always told you ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and you wish you had listened to them. Maybe if you did, you wouldn’t have lost a relationship that you thought was practically flawless.

Perfect for you

In junior year, that is when your beautiful illusion finally began crumbling down. Your workloads grew heavier and your hours of sleep decreased. Chenle would often leave you on read, having opened your message in the middle of studying then forgotten to reply to it. Even when you childishly got upset at him for that, he’d always give you the same apology or buy you something cute as if money could shut you up.

With little to no distance between the two of you, it was easy for boundaries to be crossed and for problems to go unaddressed. You can feel like you know someone so well, that they’ll always understand what you mean and they can read your words like a book, but it didn’t seem that way anymore with Chenle.

He’d make fun of the way you always made him say ‘I love you’ at least once a day or some of your other pet peeves, including the way you had a Hello Kitty mouse pad that was ‘too childish for a college student to be using.’ It may have been out of love but it sure didn’t seem that way.

I might never be the hands you put your heart in or the arms that hold you any time you want them

Soon, the little pricks in your relationship spread past closed doors and into your schoolwork. Sharing a major and classes with your significant other was not exactly ideal, especially when they had different values and beliefs from you and had to argue for their reasoning.

“That just isn’t sustainable in the long run though,” you commented as you read through Chenle’s senior research report while seated opposite of him inside a library study room.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back into his seat, about to repeat himself for the fourth time. “It’s not about sustainability, it’s about the profit margin that’s being made. What don’t you get?”

“It’s not good for the environment, it’s not good for the people working in the factories,” you point out, “I don’t get how you can subject these things onto people.”

“Y/n, we’re business majors,” he stated plainly, “we study money, the economy, sales, company relationships, we’re not here to be environmentalists. Things don’t have to last very long, so much as they make a profit.”

“But we should think about the impact of our future businesses and their longevity in the world-”

“You should think about passing this class and stop being so prissy and uptight about saving trees or whatever the fuck you’re going on about.”

You were absolutely shocked at the words that had just come out of his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he had seemingly degraded you in this manner, but when it came to school and your own work, you were deeply offended at what he had said, especially since both of you had spent many hours on your respective projects.

“Chenle,” you began softly, “tell me you didn’t mean that.”

He refused to meet your gaze, “If I told you that then I would be a liar.”

“Look, you can’t just spew whatever bullshit you want and just expect that people won’t get hurt,” you criticized, only to be cut off once more.

“Then maybe you should learn to not take everything so seriously,” he snapped back.

“I...I think we need a break.”

“Agreed.”

“No, from each other.” Chenle’s head whipped up to look at you, his eyes went wide when he realized what you were insinuating.

“Baby no, you know it’s not like that,” he started, but it was already too late. You blocked his voice out of your head as you packed your belongings, just wanting to get out of this room, wanting to get away from him.

This wasn’t the first time you had fought with him in this way but it felt like you had finally lost all your patience. You were tired of always being told you were wrong and having your thoughts and ideas invalidated. As you stormed away from the library, you realized that maybe you needed to let go of things that no longer brought you joy.

Sometimes letting go...is a new start

After that incident, you did indeed have a fresh start. You slowly removed Chenle from your life and just in time for graduation. Whenever he tried to approach you on campus, you always turned the other way even if it meant being late to class. Luckily, you didn’t have many shared classes with him anymore and you were all the more grateful for it right now.

You’d come back to your campus apartment with the occasional flower or sticky note left on your doorstep asking you to give him another chance but you simply didn’t have enough time or energy to care anymore. Commencement was approaching and you still had yet to hear back from any of the companies you had applied to for internships.

But that don’t mean that we can’t live here in the moment

One of your friends had mentioned that Chenle had already received news that he was accepted into his family’s business, a large company in China, and you wished you could’ve been there when he had read the email. You could practically hear his yell of delight, his laugh when he’d turn to hug you, even if it was practically guaranteed that he’d get in, you missed it all so much but there was no turning back now.

It wasn’t until after commencement did you receive your own letter of acceptance from one of the largest foreign trade companies in the area after you saw Chenle for the last time. “Zhong Chenle, Bachelor of Arts in business management.” You remembered the immense pride and pain you felt in your chest, watching him walk across the stage to claim his diploma as you sat clothed in the same cap and gown only a few rows away. You wished you could share your emotions with him, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours, he was no longer the man you first fell in love with.

‘Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Four years have passed since that moment at commencement. In those four years, you’ve climbed your way up in the company, taking a hold of a directing position in project development and management. With all your success though, there was always one failure that kept floating through your mind. The number of sleepless nights and wandering moments you’ve spent thinking about all the ‘what ifs’ and the changes you should’ve made in your relationship have all decreased with time, but sometimes it all comes crashing back. You miss the memories you made with him and you miss being so young and naive.

Sometimes you managed to hear a thing or two about the company he worked for but you never paid much attention to it, always falling back into a spiral of guilt and calling yourself the sole reason why your relationship fell apart. Chenle would even pop into your mind at the weirdest times when you’d be thinking of anything but him.

Like the other day as you were staring out the window of your office, watching people and cars pass by, your memory of Chenle speeding down the empty highway suddenly resurfaced. The adrenaline you felt from the buildings and signs whizzing by, the slight buzz of alcohol you felt in your system, the cool air coming in from Chenle’s window, the warmth of his hand in yours. You couldn’t help but smile at it fondly yet it turned sour when you thought of the last time he ever drove you somewhere. You had argued with him about something dumb, you couldn’t even remember it at this point, and you even slammed the door before storming off to who knows where.

Or some months ago, you were interviewing possible new hires for the company and met someone from Puerto Rico. Once you finished the interview with them, you sat at the wooden desk while remembering the way you teased Chenle because he didn’t know how to pronounce Puerto Rico. You thought it was cute and even told him that, but it ended up in another fight because you may have spent a little too long dwelling on the topic.

But oftentimes when you find yourself thinking about him, you’d wonder how he’s doing. Is he happy where he is right now? What kinds of things is he doing for his job? Has he found a new girlfriend? What if he dated many other people after me? What if he’s married? Would he have children by now? Or most importantly, ‘does he still love me?’

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down, and if you like going places we can’t even pronounce

Regardless, you’d shake off all these thoughts and continue about your day, completing the tasks assigned to you. The majority of your time was spent conducting interviews and deliberating with the directors about who to hire for what position. It was quite fun, really. You got to meet all of the new hires before they came into the company and you felt empowered by the fact that you would be indirectly responsible for the future of the company in this sort of way.

On one particular day, everything felt like it was going just a little too well. Your hair was done just the right way, traffic was light, your coworkers seemed to all be in a good mood, but most importantly, there were no fat folders sitting on your desk, waiting for you to go through. Just a single sheet of paper with the list of the new hires coming in for their briefings along with the notes you were required to go over.

You didn’t bother checking it, seeing as how you had exactly two minutes left before the scheduled meet time, which was exactly the amount of time you needed to head downstairs to the conference room. You really should have checked the list though. It would have prepared you for the shock of seeing a certain someone sitting at the table in a suit that looked all too good on him.

“Zhong Chenle?” You audibly gasped, pausing in your tracks the moment you entered the conference room.

His eyes were already on you as if he knew you’d be the person to walk through that doorway at that exact moment. “That would be me.”

The other new hires looked around at each other sharing all types of glances. Worried, suspicious, surprised, questioning, nothing really all that positive. “Sorry, he’s just an old friend that I was surprised to see,” you quickly explained, trying to pull yourself back together.

Throughout your whole presentation, it was like all the attention in the world was directed at you. Never had you felt this nervous before doing something that was supposed to be so familiar. Every time your eyes glanced over in Chenle’s direction, his gaze managed to catch yours as if he was trying to speak to you without any words.

By the time you adjourned the meeting and sent the new hires off to their respective departments, it felt like you had run a marathon. Your palms were clammy, your legs shaky, your mind racing, and your heart was pounding.

Chenle was the only one left in the conference hall while you pushed in all the chairs and turned off the lights. “Looks like these years have done you well.” He commented, finally able to take in the sight of you now that there was no one else around.

“I could say the same for you.” His shoulder had gotten broader and any childlike features had left his face. He truly looked like he had grown into a man. The dark gray suit he was wearing fit the lines of his body so well, it made you think he could’ve been a model instead of simply becoming an office worker. “So how have you been?”

He did a classic Chenle shrug, “nothing much really. I started off being just a marketing employee, did some work, and got myself to be chief marketing officer. It seems you’ve gotten much further than I have, though. Project development and management?”

“Oh, it’s not anything huge. I just help with planning things out and doing all the paperwork for its execution. I only do interviews and help with hiring when we’re in season, which would be why I’m here right now,” you explained, motioning for him to follow you out of the room. “Your new supervisor is probably wondering where you are. I sent the rest of the newbies a few minutes ago already. I’ll just tell him that you had a few questions about our operations.”

“Wow, cheating the system? That’s not the way I remember you,” Chenle said with mock disapproval. You led him to the elevators, pleasantly surprised to find one still on your floor after you hit the ‘up’ button. Your eyes met with his while you gestured for him to go in. “Ladies first,” he had a cat-like grin on his face as you rolled your eyes and stepped into the elevator.

“So why did you decide to leave your company? Weren’t you going to take it over someday?” You ask over the squeaking of the doors closing.

Chenle leaned against the cold metal wall of the elevator, “I still plan to but I felt like they were just kind of babying me or treating me differently because they knew of my background,” he explained. You could only nod to acknowledge the fact that you were listening. “I told my parents that I wanted to get experience outside of the company and they didn’t really understand at first until I showed them my point of view and how it’s a little worrisome to perhaps, learn how to cook when you always have chefs around you giving you instructions down to the tiniest things.”

The elevator came to a stop and the heavy doors opened onto the floor Chenle would be working on. “But why this company? We’re not even closely related to yours?” You led him down the hallway in the direction of his supervisor's office.

“My parents were the ones who recommended it, actually. It would be a little risky to go to a neighboring one in the case of it being viewed as a betrayal or like some kind of inside mission so they said I should just come back here since I’d probably have a high chance of acceptance-“ you put a hand up to stop him from talking, seeing how many of the other employees had started to look at him due to his volume.

“Chenle, must I remind you that this is an office?” You gritted out, embarrassed in front of your colleagues.

He shook his head before turning to the mass of them, bowing politely then continuing in the same direction as before. Once both of you reached the head office at the end of the hallway, Chenle spoke up once more. “By any chance, are you free tonight?”

“That depends,” you began, “what are you hinting at?”

“Just seeing if you’d like to go out to dinner so we can properly catch up, I guess,” he proposed bashfully.

You hummed in thought, “mmm, put in a good word for me with your supervisor and you’ve got a deal.”

“Deal,” he agreed.

“Meet me in the lobby at 5:30, don’t be late,” you told him before knocking on the wooden door in front of you and allowing Chenle in.

If you like to do whatever you’ve been dreaming about, then baby you’re perfect

You thought Chenle’s wine phase in college would be just that, a phase, but it really wasn’t. He had ordered an expensive bottle of merlot even with all your insistence that you wouldn’t be drinking and even made him promise that he’d be sober enough to drive himself back to wherever his accommodations were.

He made a face of fake dismissal before picking up your last conversation. “So anyway, as I was saying earlier, my parents suggested that I come back here, especially since I got my degree from the university so I’m bound to get in.”

You were about to open your mouth to say something like “getting in is not a guarantee” especially coming from your experience in doing interviews and having to decide which applicants to turn down, but you decided against it.

“Initially, I was a little against it since I didn’t want to come back to somewhere I’ve already stayed at for some time,” he confessed, “but after I did some research on the company and found out that you’re one of the associates, I was a little more open to the idea.”

There was a break of silence while you started to link your thoughts together. “So you came here because you found out that I work here?”

“Yes, but also no,” Chenle stated, blurting the second part out rather quickly when he saw the shift in your expression. “It is true that I wanted to see you and how you were doing but it’s not just that. I figured that if you worked here and had such a high position, it must be a good place to work.”

“But what I’m hearing is…you came here because of me,” you state bluntly though your heart couldn’t help but let out a cheer of delight.

Chenle redirected his gaze at the neighboring tables. “You could say that, sure.”

“Chenle, what do you want out of this? What do you want out of me specifically?” You contended. His eyes continued to flit around the lowly lit space, not daring to meet yours unlike earlier in the conference hall. “What? Did you come back just expecting me to run into your arms? Did you think we would just pick up where we left off?”

Now he looked down at the white tablecloth, as if in shame. “Would it be wrong of me to ask for a second chance?”

You too joined him in staring at the table, wishing that he had answered ‘no’ to your previous questions. “It wouldn’t exactly be wrong, but it’s not right either. I’d be willing to give you a second chance if we agree to not call it that, but rather a promise.”

He finally looked up at you again, his dark pupils catching the dim golden lights above him. “A promise?”

You nodded. “We’re older now, we’re fully grown adults with jobs to do and taxes to pay. We’re no longer the same carefree college students we used to be.”

“Well yeah, obviously-“

“No, listen,” you interject, cutting him off, “we can’t just recklessly play with each other’s minds and feelings like we used to. No more games and no more ‘next times.’ If we try again, I want this to be a promise that we’ll both do better because we can and we want to.”

“If it’s a promise that you want then,” Chenle held out his hand with his pinky finger extended, “it’s a promise I’m willing to make.”

You linked your pinky with his before bringing your thumbs together and sealing the promise. Matching smiles appeared across both of your faces as you stepped into a new chapter of life with Chenle by your side once more.

Sometimes letting go is…perfect. So let’s start right now

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