#I literally haven’t left my room without a mask all week I’m so mad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vidalinav · 3 years

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Stu(died)-Chapter 3

Summary: Cassian takes care of a sick Nesta

Nessian Modern AU-university setting.

Masterlist, Stu(died) Chapter List

(Rolls eyes hardcore) I am continuing this fic for literally five people. Smh.

Nesta comes to their tutoring session late and that’s the first thing that tips him off. Already his phone is in his hand ready to call 911. He has Nesta’s number in his phone saved. The first person listed in his text log under Nerd. He can always text or call her. He belongs to The Rat Pack in Nesta’s Snap Chat group, and he knows he can always contact Emerie or Gwyn if something is truly wrong. Yet he dials in 911 and his thumb hovers over the call button.

If she doesn’t show up in fifteen minutes, Cassian swears he’ll call.

Nesta’s never late. In fact, she’s annoyingly early. She practically has a stop watch in her hand at all times, counting every minute she waits. When Cassian comes running in five minutes later, as he so often does, panting with some excuse, Nesta doesn’t even bother looking up from her textbook. She merely gestures to the seat, a heavy sigh on her lips, like she’s running out of time to bore him death even as she fascinates him to pieces.

Her books should already be splayed onto the table, her pencils straight and neatly lined up. Today, the table is empty.

He’ll give it fifteen minutes and then he’s calling.

But Nesta shows up before another minute ticks by. She steps out of the elevator wearing that grey polo he’s seen on her a million times. She lugs her way to him, dragging her feet with the weight of those textbooks he’s sure are in her bag.

She’s wearing a mask, today, and that’s another thing that sends his brain screeching somethings not right here! It covers half of her face, and her eyes look tired from where they peak above the fabric. Cassian doesn’t even bother waiting for her to settle. Already he’s crossing his arms, his brows crinkling with concern and something like irritation.

How dare she think studying is more important than her health.

“Go home,” he says as she nears. Nesta only blinks as if as not understanding his words. The fact that she doesn’t immediately argue is enough for him to start gathering his things.

“What are you doing?” She says as he stuffs his notebook in his bag, “You have an exam in two weeks.” Nesta sets down her own, it slaps at the table with a heavy thump. Cassian can hear the zipper unzipping but not as well as the cough that roars out of her mouth.

It’s loud and wet, and Nesta pauses as if to get her bearings, covering her mouth with her arm. She coughs and coughs and Cassian lays a hand to his own chest. He can almost feel how much it hurts, how she gasps.

Cassian shakes his head, “No, I’m taking you home.”

Nesta’s brows furrow and she gets that look in her eyes. He just knows she’s going to fight him on this. “I--”

Cassian cuts her off, “please, save your breath. You’re going to make everyone sick.”

“I’m wearing a mask!” Nesta argues.

“It’s almost midterms.” Cassian gestures to the other occupants in the library. He sees one person with their hoodie pulled up over their head, clearly sleeping... and moves on to someone else. A group in the corner who’s standing by a whiteboard. “You want to take your chances with sleep deprived students?”

Nesta seems to think about that. While she does, Cassian zips up her bag and throws it over his shoulder. It’s as heavy as he thought it might be. Briefly, he thinks of making a joke about how she must have stuffed a body in here, but he doesn’t think she’d appreciate it, given how quiet she is.

Mentally, he starts making a list of everything she needs. Medicine? He’ll get the pills and the syrup, never mind if she scrunches her nose at the taste. He’ll get her soup. Not the canned. Cassian will buy the ingredients. He’s sure he can make something appeasing. Vaguely, he can remember his mom’s recipe. Beef broth and cabbage and squash. Hopefully she can stomach it. Never mind, the salt will be good for her.

“Hey,” she whines, blinking up at him slowly, “give me my bag.”

“Have you not heard me? You need to be home lying down. Not here, helping me study. Why on earth did you think this was a good idea? I’m taking you home.”

Nesta crosses her arms and the intimidation tactic seems ridiculous with her face half covered and her endless sniffling. “You can try, but I’ll just refuse to tell you my apartment number.”

Cassian scoffs, “I know where you live. I can see your room from the house when you study at night.”

“Who says that out loud?” Nesta shouts.

She must be terribly ill if she’s yelling in a library. That’s all he can think as he gestures to the elevator, bags in hand.

“Never mind that. Let’s go,” Cassian says, walking ahead without her.

He can’t hear her shuffling though, so he turns back to find Nesta leaning on a chair, holding her stomach. He can already feel himself sighing.

Cassian rushes back just in time for Nesta to rip off her mask, and move to the closest trashcan. It’s situated under one of the bulletin boards and as Cassian sidles up to her, rubbing at her back and pulling her hair away, he looks to the papers tacked to the board.

Join the rowing team. Looking for tutors. Research participants wanted.

He can hear the retching and Cassian reads on.

Babysitter wanted for professor, transportation needed.

“I haven’t thrown up since middle school,” Nesta says pathetically. She frowns as he hands her his bottle of water. Her nose and cheeks are red and for some reason he thinks of Rudolph, lighting the way for Santa through the storm.

He feels bad for little Rudolph...

“Now will you let me take you home,” Cassian sighs. He hopes it doesn’t sound like an ‘I told you so’ but she should really be lying down. He lays a hand to her forehead, but she brushes him off, moving towards the bathrooms.

“I’ll wait right here,” he says, but Nesta moves ahead as if she doesn’t hear him at all. Cassian can’t find it in himself to mind. A sick Nesta is guaranteed to be a stubborn Nesta, he just knows.

When she gets out, she looks surprised to see him and that’s another look that just proves how sick she must be. It’s a fairly obvious prediction that he’s going to wait next to the girl's bathroom, counting ceiling tiles. It’s a perfectly ‘Cassian with Nesta’ thing to do.

“You’re skipping class?”

Nesta coughs again, and she looks perfectly pitiful as she blinks her tired eyes. Cassian can feel his lips frown, and he shifts her bag more securely on his shoulder if only to keep himself from reaching out for her. Already he can feel his hands bunch into fists because he wants to grab her own and squeeze it until she's reassured. He wants to hug her until she feels better.

But he can’t.

Cassian lists every action he wants to do. Kiss her forehead where Nesta rubs her hand, because she must have a headache from how sick she is. Put on her favorite movie, so she can fall asleep to its sound. Run to every store, raiding every Walgreens and CVS until he comes back with a pharmacy.

What might she allow now that she’s sick? Will she let him fuss like he wants to?

But Nesta rolls her eyes in that haughty way of hers. “You can’t do that.”

“I can’t do what?” Cassian asks and he wonders if she can read his thoughts. If she studies him so well, reads him like one of her textbooks, memorizing facts and facial features.

“You can’t skip class,” she argues. “Why am I tutoring you if you’re going to skip class?”

At the words, all Cassian wants to do is sigh. She’s thinking about attendance at a time like this...

“Nesta, there is no class more important than you.”

Her brows crinkle at the center like she’s going to start arguing, but Cassian allows himself one touch. He places his thumb there, between her brows, smoothing out the lines. Nesta rips away, blinking up dazed and all too confused. Cassian would laugh at the look, if he didn’t need the distraction.

He juts his head to the elevator quickly. “Let’s go. We can walk slow, so don’t overexert yourself.”

Nesta scrunches up her nose, so cute and red, but she follows him anyway albeit a little petulantly. She holds her hand out for her bag, but Cassian turns toward the doors, pretending not to see.

“How does me being sick make you bossy?”

Cassian doesn’t dare to respond. He doesn’t know whether he’ll admit that he wants to take care of her, that’s he’s so worried a knot twists in his stomach, or if he’ll make some joke, he knows will make her mad. Maybe that’s the better option, he thinks. He can handle a mad Nesta. He likes a mad Nesta, but a Nesta who so easily rejects him?

Cassian doesn’t know about that.

“You don’t have any classes left this week, right?”

Nesta coughs into her sleeve before answering. Though she means to sound queenly, she only sounds sick, “you know where I live, and you also know my class schedule... seems suspicious if you ask me.”

“I’ve known you for two years.”

“And murder victims are three times more likely to be killed by someone they know."

Cassian huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, “Do you still go to sleep watching SVU? Or have you switched to Lifetime movies where the babysitters always try to kill the wife?”

“People should be wary about the people they know,” Nesta shrugs as if that’s answer enough.

Cassian snorts, “well you don’t have to be wary of me.”

As the elevator doors open, Cassian gestures for her to go first and Nesta does, but not before crossing her arms.

“That’s just what a murderer would want me to think.” She squints as if dissecting him, limb by limb. “You kill me, and I’ll haunt you. You won’t be able to sleep at night without thinking of me.”

Too late, Cassian thinks.

It’s much too late for that.

Rudolph has the patience of a five-year-old when she’s sick. Cassian learns this fairly quickly when he runs inside a Walgreens on their way to Nesta’s apartment.

There’s a bench that she can sit on, where she can wait if she feels tired, but no. Nesta decides she needs to run errands. She has an entire basket filled by the time he finds her again. She’s by the greeting cards, holding three open at a time. Cassian huffs with a receipt and medicine in hand.

“Here,” he says, giving her the cough medicine. “Take some of this.”

Nesta doesn’t even bother with pouring. He watches as she rips the cap away, taking a swig right out of the bottle, gulping it down.

“That’s way more than the suggested amount,” he cries, “you can get drunk on this stuff!”

“Good, maybe I’ll forget this day ever happened.”

Cassian sighs... it seems all he does is sigh when she’s like this. A sick Nesta is a petulant, irritated Nesta with a permanent furrow between her brows.

“I know you feel sick,” he tries to placate, “but I bet you’d feel a whole lot better if we get you home as soon as we can... so you can lie down and sleep.”

Nesta only picks up another Halloween card. She ignores his suggestion, laughing under her breath as she reads whatever inane joke is written there. Soon, she’s coughing though, and Cassian reaches for the basket just to stop himself from rubbing a hand down her back, combing his fingers through her hair.

Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, his thoughts scream.

Cassian looks to the contents to distract himself from her watery eyes, and that’s when he notices what she’s grabbed. It seems that while he was in the cold and flu aisle, Nesta was raiding the snacks.

“What is this?” He gestures to the basket. Two boxes of cereal. Caramel corn. Baked Lay’s and cans of Arizona tea. Cassian takes one and holds it up. “Really Nesta?”

“What it’s green tea!” she argues, shoving another card back in its slot.

“This is all... junk,” he tries to explain, but Nesta’s already glowering.

“Look I don’t question your decisions. You don’t question mine.”

Cassian gives her a bland look. “You question my decisions all the time. Before we came in here, you literally said ‘why are we going in here, Cassian? Weren’t you supposed to take me home.’ You said that.”

Nesta simply raises her chin, pulling out another card. “I recall no such thing.”

“Fine,” Cassian grumbles, “if you want to eat yourself to an early grave and ignore everything that could potentially make you feel better than that’s just fine with me.”

“Good,” she says, putting back the other cards. Nesta settles for a pop-up that sings Monster Mash when she opens it. She sets it in the basket he holds, walking ahead without even looking back. “I’m ready to check out.”

“Really?” Cassian jokes, mockingly. “Are you sure you raided the candy aisle?”

Nesta stops in her tracks, peering through the section with printer ink and paper as if she can see the other side. He swears he’d facepalm if he wasn’t carrying all this stuff.

“You’re right,” she says, nodding.

“Wait!” Cassian calls. “Where are you going? Nesta!”

Too late. He can already hear crunching bags.

The variety packs.

Cassian sighs, lugging their things to the aisle next door.

“Can I use these vegetables?” Cassian asks, as Nesta shoves open the door to her room. He’s surprised she’s not still by the freezer. When they first get back to her place, she sticks her head in there and he wonders if he should suggest taking her temperature, or if she’s doing it just to show him she’s annoyed.

Perhaps her ears bleed from the sound of his voice.

That seems like something Nesta would say.

“They’re Emerie’s. Why?”

“To make soup,” Cassian explains, rifling through the contents. There’s zucchini and summer squash. Onion, fresh parsley and carrots. Cabbage and lettuce. Fresh fruit. He can make a nice stew out of this.

Nesta scoffs, “I don’t need soup.”

She enters her room, shoving the door back behind her until it leaves only a crack.

“You can leave now,” she yells. “I’m home like you wanted.”

“Are you lying down?” He asks, crossing his arms sternly though she can’t see him.

Nesta sighs loudly, “you’re annoying!”

“Maybe if you got some rest, I’d be less annoying,” Cassian sings brightly.

He can hear the soft sound of her voice. “Doubt.”

Cassian shakes his head with a smirk. He opens his snapchat where The Rat Pack is the first on the list, but the group name has changed... to People I Tolerate.

That’s got to be Nesta.

Cassian laughs under his breath and types. Can I use your vegetables? Making Nesta soup.

Emerie’s bitmoji pops up at the bottom, but the person who texts back first is not Emerie, but Gwyn.

You’re at our house?

Cassian can almost hear her voice. Stern and cautious. He’s almost certain she doesn’t like him. Gwyn looks at him with even more disdain than Nesta when he's around. That stay away from my friend look.

He sighs. Yes, Nesta’s sick.

Gwyn’s quick to respond. I can come home early. I need to drop off a paper, but I can be there in 30.

Cassian rolls his eyes and types, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of her.

Nesta’s face pops up. I can take care of myself.

“No, you can’t!” Cassian yells.

“Yes, I can!” Nesta yells back, but then she starts coughing again and he can hear her groan in the other room. Cassian raises a brow at her door.

I’m going to make soup. I’ll make enough for all of you, but can I use stuff from the fridge? I’ll replace it all.

Emerie’s face pops up and then disappears quickly. He’s about ready to go to the store himself or at least next door to the House, but Emerie’s text appears.

I have no objections to this.

Cassian smiles in relief, and he’s about to set down his phone when another notification appears. It’s Emerie again.

And if you make good soup, you can stay indefinitely.

Cassian sends a winking emoji. Nesta sends back the emoji with the straight mouth and eyes. Before he can frown at what that means, Cassian sees that the group name has changed... to Three’s Company.

That’s got to be Gwyn.

Stone cold, Emerie texts back.

Cassian decides he’s going to ignore that for the moment and focus on the objective at hand.

Soup.

Cassian pulls out the vegetables and looks through the cupboards. Emerie, it seems, has all the good spices. He finds the broth packets stored in the back, and he pulls out some beef from the freezer. It’ll need to defrost but he can start the broth now, get the vegetables soft, and brown the beef later. It’ll take a couple of hours anyway.

Occasionally, he hears a cough as he works. Then a sweet laugh... followed by a cough and a groan. Cassian feels bad for her he does, but he can’t help but find the whole situation amusing. She should be resting and yet she seems to be wide awake.

Nesta doesn’t come out of her room though. It’s as if he’s not even there, and he takes that time to look over her shared apartment. There are three doors, each with a letter at the front. The N is blue, the E, green, and the G, pink. He doesn’t know how it’s possible to have a living room that looks like all three, but somehow it works. It’s studious and bright. Colorful, but subdued. There are way too many throw pillows and books scattered everywhere, but there’s also a TV with a fireplace under it. He can just imagine Nesta laughing at scary movies. Some slasher fic she’ll watch like she’s taking notes.

He can imagine Nesta everywhere, in fact.

This is where she eats. Where she sits. Where she studies. This is where she trips over shoes if they’re not neatly lined up and where she complains about dirty dishes. This is where she cooks... if she does cook. Cassian doesn’t know.

Maybe he’ll get to find out one day.

Once the water starts boiling and the meat is in the microwave to defrost, Cassian goes to check how Rudolph is doing.

He knocks on her door lightly, pushing it open. “Nesta?”

Cassian’s never seen her room before, say for when she sits by the window with her curtains wide open, and just like then, it seems like an invasion of privacy to do so now. But Nesta’s plopped on top of her bed, tucked beneath her blue comforter, and she sets down her phone when he appears at the door.

Her whole room is filled with blues and creams, and it looks exactly what he imagines Nesta’s room to look like. The large calendar, an agenda on the desk, bookshelf after bookshelf lining her walls. There are also things he doesn’t know of her yet. Pictures and posters and a.... stuffed lobster? Cassian holds it up.

“Would you stop looking around?” Nesta groans. She has her arm resting over her eyes, and he wonders if it’s because she doesn’t want to see him looking or if she feels that bad that the light is bothering her.

She should be getting some rest, he thinks.

“Where did you get a stuffed lobster?”

Nesta coughs out her response.

The sound makes Cassian grimace, his chest ache with need, but he doesn’t rush over like he wants to. This is her house, her room... and this is Nesta who doesn’t like to be coddled by anyone.

“It’s a heat pack,” she says at last, after she catches her breath.

“A heat pack?” Cassian looks to the soft red claws that dangle. He’s never seen anything so soft be a heat pack.

“For cramps,” she says as if it’s obvious. Nesta must take his silence to mean ignorance for she lifts onto her elbows, raising a judgmental brow. “Please tell me you know what periods are or am I am going to have to go back to teaching you biology?”

“No,” Cassian draws out, “I know what periods are.”

Nesta mumbles a thank god and Cassian watches as she shifts under the covers, pulling them up until they hover just beneath her mouth.

“Are you cold?” Cassian asks, looking around her room. He spots his burgundy hoodie neatly folded and nearly yanks it from her desk. “Here. Wear my sweatshirt.”

“I just washed it,” Nesta whines, “I was going to give it back to you.”

Cassian’s confused by the words, but he merely gestures for her to budge up. He’s thankful when she doesn’t argue. He rolls the sweatshirt over her head and Nesta fits her arms through the sleeves.

“You didn’t have to wash it,” he says, watching as she pats down her hair. If only he could pull it up for her, comb his fingers through it. She could use his scrunchie too, if she wanted.

Nesta rolls her eyes, and he can only imagine what she thinks. He can practically hear the words. Of course, you wouldn’t care about clean clothes.

Her expressions practically give her away--everything she feels and thinks. Cassian wonders if he knows how open she is to the rest of the world. He wonders if she’d hate him if he told her this.

“It was going to smell like me,” she frowns.

Cassian wants to huff out a laugh. That is perfectly fine by him.

“Stop laughing,” she whines, “I’m being serious.”

“Yes, you’re being very serious.” He can’t help his smirk as he gazes up at her. He doesn’t even realize he’s on her bed, sitting to the side of her all bunched up in red. Her nose to the fabric. He almost wants to say she looks cute in his hoodie, all sick like that, but he knows she’ll only bite at him, remarking about how he has some weird fetish for sick girls.

Cassian holds back a laugh as he hears the microwave ding. He needs to turn the meat around, so it doesn’t cook through, but Nesta grips his arm. His head whips towards her and... Nesta’s gazing up at him. Her eyes are a soft blue. Just like her room.

“You’re warm,” she says. To explain herself, he thinks, and why she holds him as if she doesn't want him to move.

Cassian’s lips raise lightly, and he places the back of his hand on her forehead. “You must be worse than you’re letting on if you're okay with me being in your bed.”

Nesta scoffs, “you’re on it. Not in it. I’ll make that distinction very clear.”

“You can’t be that sick then,” Cassian shrugs, smiling. “If you’re making everything sound like a tutoring session.”

Her cheeks flush a bright pink and Cassian thinks she must have a fever. He wonders if he should search for an ice pack or make one, so she doesn’t get too hot.

“Are you tired?” He asks, noting how slowly she blinks. “You did drink a lot of cough syrup.”

“I also took a NyQuil,” she says, closing her eyes.

Cassian huffs, “remind me to teach you how read warning labels when your fully coherent.”

He can hear the microwave ding again, and it reminds him of an alarm. Wake up! It seems to say. Being in Nesta’s room does feels like falling asleep. Rather dream-like and hazy. The microwave dings incessantly, but Cassian doesn’t want to wake up just yet.

Her hand is still on his arm. It’s so much smaller than his and he wants to trace the skin there and see if it’s as soft as it looks. Cassian doesn’t dare look at her, in case she doesn’t just bang together two loud cymbals and tell him to get up and out and away.

Cassian looks ahead instead, fixing his gaze on the stuffed lobster on her desk.

“Nesta,” he starts and then swallows. He feels nervous, his hands clammy. “Nesta, I really think you and I... we’d be good together.”

Cassian takes a breath, and he stares at the lobster as if it’s her face. “We’ve known each other for a long time now and I... I haven’t hid how I feel about you.” His heart is beating way too fast, and he doesn’t feel any freer from speaking the words, but Cassian decides it’s time to rip the Band-Aid off. “I thought maybe... we could try it out. See if you might be comfortable with it. If you might like me... too?”

He doesn’t know why he words that like a question, but Nesta doesn’t say a word. Cassian looks back, hoping there’s no disgust in baby blue. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she just outright says he’s trash and she’ll never like him.

But Nesta’s fast asleep.

Cassian doesn’t bother sighing as he grips her limp hand, setting it on the blanket. He doesn’t bother being disappointed when he tucks the comforter around her. Her cheeks are a lobster-red and he rubs a thumb lightly there, wondering what it would be like to hold her face in his palm and kiss at her nose. Would she complain as he pecked her lips? You’ll get sick Cassian.

Then we can stay in bed together, Nesta.

No. Cassian’s not disappointed at all.

He’ll tuck away his dreams where tomorrow lives.

Today, he’ll stick to what he’s good at, so Cassian heads to the kitchen to make soup.

~ ~

Mwahahahaahah

In case you missed, here’s the stuffed lobster in the flesh.

Tagged:

@arinbelle @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @nestaarcher0n @duskandstarlight @soitsgorgeous @swankii-art-teacher @lordof-bloodshed @thewhelk @daisy-in-danger @highqueenevankhell @lovelynesta @sirendeepity @champanheandluxxury @ladynestaarcheron @moodymelanist @teagoddess99 @spoilersteph @angelic-voice-1997 @bo0kmaster69 @drielecarla @generalnesta @cozycomfyliving08 @confusedfandomslut @dread3r @sv0430

"Why am I still writing this fic?" I say angrily, as I angrily type it in my angry word document.

#nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #nessian fanfiction #vidalinav writes #Stu(died)

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mysterioushogwartsrequests · 4 years

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Starry Skies, Starry Eyes

Request: Hello! I want to request something with Sirius too!! But with an age gap and Hogwarts Mystery MC. Can you write something like that?

This literally took me forever to write and I just want to get it out there. I hope the ending is alright, I had quite a bit of trouble figuring out the last parts, but I think it all came together in the end.

Edit: I am not quite sure what happened, but for some reason Tumblr deleted my story? It’s currently four in the morning and I just realized this so I have to fix it or else it is going to bother me all night. Anyways, it should be fine now! I hope you enjoy!

Note: I will write a part 2 for this story in the future! I’ve noticed the comments asking for more and I’ve already got some ideas.

Summary: Auror training was not going as planned. Now, (Y/N) (L/N) is staying at Number 12 Grimmauld Place with its only known resident, Sirius Black.

A small thumping sound resonated through the quiet halls of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Along with the maniacal murmurs of the Kreacher the House Elf occasionally adding to the noise. The commencement of the Hogwarts school year meant that few guests came through the home, effectively darkening the mood of one of its permanent residents.

Sirius Black lay atop a surprisingly plush mattress, casually tossing a rubber ball against the ceiling of his childhood bedroom. As he effortlessly caught the small ball in his hands, Sirius wondered how Harry could be doing at school and how he could improve to become a suitable fatherly figure for his beloved godson. This initiative proved difficult considering the restrictions set up by Albus Dumbledore. Underneath his leadership, Sirius was to remain in Grimmauld Place until it was determined safe for him to venture beyond the house walls. However, as the days passed by, Sirius’s optimism of stepping outside slowly diminished and thought it would be best to stop thinking about this improbable idea.

But before Sirius could give up his hopes of happiness, she arrived.

Downstairs, the front door opened, and two women stepped into the spotless home. From the way the mirrors shone, it was apparent they spent a lot of time transforming it into suitable headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. The first woman swiftly moved through the house, already familiar with its surroundings, “He should be here somewhere,” she announced, her bright pink hair clashing horribly with the emerald green walls.

The second woman followed her cautiously, scanning her unfamiliar surroundings, and mentally noting the details that stood out to her. “Y’know,” she started, grimacing at the meticulously preserved heads of house-elves beside her when they ascended the stairs, “when I first became an Auror, I didn’t quite expect to be babysitting a notorious murderer”

(Y/N) (L/N) had never been the type to feel unnerved. She had always taken pride in her ability to keep calm, especially in situations of immense danger. So, it was safe to say she was not enjoying the malaise developing within her.

Nymphadora Tonks rolled her eyes, a hint of notable annoyance as she reiterated her point for the third time that afternoon, “It wasn’t him, all right? It was Pettigrew who caused all that trouble, Sirius is completely innocent.”

A large part of (Y/N) wholeheartedly believed Tonks, but another, slightly gruffer voice kept ringing through her head,

“Constant vigilance!”

Reminded of Mad-Eye Moody’s teachings, she thought it best to remain cautious, just in case.

“I’m sorry,” added (Y/N), knowing she had offended her friend. Tonks gave her a small nod, accepting her apology as she led her past the multiple bedrooms on the second story. Halting at a door with the name “Sirius” intricately carved on a silver nameplate, Tonks raised her hand. “Black, are you in there?” she asked, knocking on the bedroom door.

“Yes, but, it seems I’ll have to find a better hiding place next time,” Sirius spoke up, casually confirming his presence within the room, “You found me rather quickly”

Tonks opened the door, a smile on her face when her eyes landed on Sirius, “You gave away your position by doing that,” she said, pointing at the ceiling as the ball bounced back into his hand.

Sirius clutched the ball tightly and sat up from his bed, “I suppose you’re right,” he said, the already faint smile on his face vanishing as he became aware of the stranger in his home, “What’s going on?” He asked, masking his rousing irritation.

Disregarding his obvious displeasure, (Y/N) subtly examined his appearance. This could not be the same person in the Azkaban wanted pamphlets. She had expected a worn-down, angry wizard with incredibly long, matted hair. But instead, she locked eyes with a devilishly handsome, well-kept, older gentleman wearing brown, pinstripe robes. (Y/N) mustered up a casual smile, pushing away her bewilderment but unable to hide the faint blush on her cheeks.

Tonks frowned at Sirius’s disappointment, “Well,” she began, placing her hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders, “(Y/N)’s just started her Auror training and Mad-Eye’s instructed her here for the time being,” Tonks gently pulled (Y/N) into the room as she spoke, “It won’t be for long,” she added, noting Sirius’s sour expression, “And at least you’ll have human company.”

Sirius eyed the (h/c) haired woman standing in his bedroom suspiciously. Indeed, he found it quite odd that Mad-Eye would send a trainee into isolation but decided against mentioning it. The idea of letting a stranger into his home without warning did not sit well with him, but he could not deny the presence of someone he could have a pleasant conversation with.

“All right,” Sirius said, rising from his seat and walking over to the two women.

(Y/N) swallowed nervously, impulsively trying to calculate the height of the man making his way towards her. It was not until he stood in front of her with his hand extended that she came to the possible solution of six feet. With her heart thumping against her chest, (Y/N) stretched out her arm and grasped his expecting hand firmly.

“(Y/N) (L/N),” she stated formally, looking up at Sirius with a confident smile as they shook hands.

Sirius mentally applauded her firm grip, a smile appearing at his lips, “Sirius Black, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He caught sight of the sparkle in her eyes, those bright eyes filled with stars reflective of her optimism and was instantly charmed. The two of them stood there, looking interestedly at each other, their attention devoted to something other than their handshake.

Tonks’s eyes bounced from Sirius to (Y/N), an odd feeling settling over her, but unaware as to what it could be, “Well,” she announced, now that the pair seemed to be getting along, “I’ve better get going, Mad-Eye’s waiting for me.” she declared, sensing this would be the best time to make her exit, and swiftly made her way out of the room.

Startled by her sudden declaration, (Y/N) turned to follow Tonks, who was already half-way down the stairs, “Wait!” she called, rushing after her friend, “Tonks, hold on!”

Hearing (Y/N)’s yells, Sirius stalked out of his bedroom and quickly followed after them, “Don’t yell,” he hissed, but his warning was ignored. With another cry of her name, Tonks turned, her arms raised warningly towards the curtains which had flown open. The woman in the, now exposed, painting took a singular glance towards Nymphadora Tonks and let out an ear-splitting screech.

“Filth! In my sacred home!” screamed the portrait of Walburga Black, her eyes then narrowing towards her son, “Shame of my flesh! Traitors!”

Sirius, with a swift flick of his hand, closed the long, green curtains and silenced his mother, his previous look of displeasure returning to his face.

“I’m sorry,” apologized (Y/N), looking up at Sirius from the bottom of the stairs, a frown appearing on her face.

“It’s fine,” Sirius replied exasperatedly, “...just don’t scream down the hallway, okay?” he added and retreated towards his room. (Y/N) solemnly watched Sirius leave, her eyes lingering on the curtains of the concealed portrait before turning towards her friend.

“What am I supposed to say to him?” asked (Y/N), gripping Tonks’s wrist before she could get away, “He wasn’t exactly pleased to have someone here.”

Tonks shook her head, patting her friend on the shoulder, “He's just going through some things right now, but he’ll ease up.” she added reassuringly, “I haven’t known him for exceptionally long, but he is part of my family so I know you’ll be alright.”

(Y/N) was aware of their familial connection, having been informed by Tonks before their arrival and she could not deny that this information settled some of her nerves, but not all. However, her trust in Nymphadora Tonks outweighed her suspicions. The two had experienced a lot during their time at Hogwarts and Tonks’s judgment usually supplied positive outcomes.

“I trust you,” (Y/N) said, releasing Tonks’s arm and hugging her, “Good luck with Mad-Eye, show them who's boss”

Tonks laughed as she embraced her former classmate, “As if I don’t do that already,” she stated confidently, reaching for the silver door handle, “But I’ve really got to go, I’m already late.”

(Y/N) nodded and watched Tonks exit the home, taking the time to lock the door before looking back towards the empty stairs. What Tonks had said about Mad-Eye assigning her to Grimmauld Place was not entirely untrue, but she had purposely left out the details of Albus Dumbledore’s involvement.

She was not sure why Dumbledore had sent her to keep an eye on Sirius Black, but she gratefully took the opportunity and packed her bags. But, as she assessed her current situation, (Y/N)’s mind fell on a particularly important thought:

“Where am I going to sleep?”

---

The temperature began to drop during the late weeks of October, and a substantial amount of rainfall washed over the country. Three weeks had passed since (Y/N)’s initial arrival and she found that her time at Grimmauld Place was rather pleasant. Unlike Sirius, (Y/N) could venture out of the home and occasionally found herself at the nearby marketplace, buying ingredients for her meals, or reviewing her books at the cozy coffee shop down the street. However, she also spent a lot of her time, albeit alone, wandering around Grimmauld Place, and learning the history of the ancient Black Family.

Even though she was surrounded by reminders of the Black family, (Y/N) couldn't help noting the unmistakable absence of its last living descendant. The two of them had, surprisingly, enjoyed each other’s company more than they had expected and usually saw each other during mealtimes. Sirius had also, to (Y/N)’s bewilderment, offered his help when he had caught her practicing her Transfiguration.

Despite receiving excellent marks in her examinations, (Y/N) constantly struggled with Human Transfiguration which put a damper on her “Concealment and Disguises” training results. On a particularly stormy night, (Y/N) decided to practice her spell-work in the kitchen, in front of the large mirror that hung in the room. She had successfully transfigured her hair into a shade of cotton candy blue but failed at altering the size of her nose.

Letting out a small gasp of horror and pain, (Y/N)’s hand flew to her face, her fingers grazing the small bump and unusual slant of her new nose. She only viewed her reflection for a split second, nervously covering up her face as her eyes landed on the comically large witch’s nose that had replaced her normal one.

Keeping a hand over her face, (Y/N) flipped through the pages of her book, searching desperately for a counterspell. However, as she ran through her book, the door to the kitchen swung open and someone lazily entered the room.

At first, Sirius did not seem to notice (Y/N). Like her, he was having a particularly tough time falling asleep but hoped a late-night snack would do the trick. However, he quickly became aware of her presence when the noise of her clumsily collapsing into a chair filled the room.

Raising his eyebrows, Sirius poured himself a glass of milk and acknowledged her jittery behavior. “Can’t sleep?” he asked, wiping away the milk droplets collecting at the side of his mouth. Sirius took a second to admire her new hair color, grinning as he added, “I like the new look.”

(Y/N) blushed at the sudden compliment, but nodded her head, a little too enthusiastically, in response, “Y-Yes! But I think I’ll head upstairs now!” she said, rising from her seat.

Although he did not mention it, Sirius knew (Y/N) was practicing her Transfiguration in the kitchen. The open book, specifically on a page regarding “Human Transfiguration and it’s counterspells,” and her wand strewn across the black, tiled floor were enough to confirm his theory. He was also aware that her last spell must’ve malfunctioned and that she was now struggling to revert it. However, he wasn’t sure how she would respond to his assistance and debated his next move.

(Y/N) had never requested his help before, but it was clear to him, due to her obvious distress, that he must do so. Sirius caught her before she could dash out of the room, his fingers delicately wrapping around the wrist of the hand that covered her face. Clearing his throat, he looked down at (Y/N), his grey eyes meeting hers, “Let me see.”

To her surprise, (Y/N) did not tense up at the feel of Sirius’s touch. Instead, she found herself relaxing underneath his unusually comforting gaze. This was only the second time she had stood this close to Sirius, the first being when she arrived, but her heart still beat the same way, thumping loudly against her ribcage. (Y/N) relaxed her arm, letting Sirius guide it away from her face to reveal the heavily crooked nose.

“It’s awful,” murmured (Y/N), turning her face away from his when his eyes widened in shock. She was already embarrassed and having a Senior Member of The Order of the Phoenix witnessing her mistake mortified her.

For the first time in weeks, unable to retain his composure, Sirius Black burst out laughing, clutching his stomach as he doubled over, “I’m sorry,” he forced out, wiping away the tears in his eyes as he smiled down at (Y/N)’s shocked expression, “But that nose makes you look completely ridiculous.”

(Y/N) scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest when he laughed, “I’m perfectly aware of that!” She stated angrily, “I wasn’t trying for a Witch’s nose! I was going for more of a Roman look like the book said” she said, gesturing towards her open book.

“Don’t worry,” added Sirius, retrieving his wand from his pocket, and directing it towards her face, “We’ll try again.” Muttering a spell, Sirius flicked his wand and a flash of blue appeared from the tip. Within seconds, (Y/N) felt her abnormally large nose shrinking to its usual size, enthusiastically turning towards the mirror when the transformation finished.

“Thank you!” she exclaimed happily, picking up her wand from the floor, “But what do you mean we’ll try?” she asked, recalling what he had said.

“It means, I’m going to teach you” started Sirius, lifting up the book from the table, “But we really won’t be needing this,” he added, slamming it shut and tossing it to the side with a large grin, “That is if you want my help.”

(Y/N) considered his proposal, surely having an actual teacher would help her improve since he could give her feedback and he was an experienced wizard. Surely, there was no harm in letting him help.

Nodding eagerly, (Y/N) grinned up at Sirius, “Where do we start?”

But some time had passed since their last encounter and her lessons with Sirius suddenly fell short. (Y/N) had not seen him for a week and was beginning to worry about his well-being. Sirius had stopped sharing his meals with her and refused to come out of his bedroom. During this time, (Y/N) had decided against intruding and hoped he would come around just as Tonks said. But as she sat alone in the kitchen, she began to wonder why Sirius would suddenly disappear.

Taking a glance at the enchanted calendar near the refrigerator, (Y/N) read the date October 29th scrawled at the top. Closing her copy of Moste Potente Potions, she paced around the kitchen, taking a moment to consider the situation.

“Maybe, I can make something to cheer him up,” She thought, scanning through the numerous recipe books, which had collected a substantial amount of dust through the years due to lack of use. (Y/N) picked out a tattered book on baking, running her hand over the hardcover to clean it off. She was not entirely sure what type of treats Sirius would enjoy but got to work with newfound determination.

“After all,” began (Y/N) to no one in particular, taking out a large tray, “Problem-solving is part of being an Auror”

---

Upstairs sat a man clutching an old portrait in his hands, a single tear sliding down the tip of his nose and onto the glass. Sirius lifted his hand and wiped away the tear-stained surface, the smiling face of James Potter throwing him a playful wink with his arm wrapped around Lily Evans.

As the anniversary of their death approached, Sirius Black recalled his final conversations with his best friend, urging him to choose Peter Pettigrew as their secret keeper instead of him. Sirius glared down at his former friend, Peter shyly waving towards the couple as the younger versions of himself and Remus Lupin approaching him bearing wide grins.

“Damn it!” exclaimed Sirius angrily, tossing the picture onto his bed and burying his face in his hands. These intrusive thoughts had plagued Sirius ever since that Halloween night at Godric’s Hollow. How he should’ve realized Wormtail’s odd behavior during their meetings.

How it should’ve been him that perished that night and not his best friends, who had just happily begun their domestic life with their baby boy.

Sirius wished for nothing more than to be able to turn back time and fix everything. But he couldn’t. All he could do was-

“Sirius?” A soft voice called from the other side of the door, a light knock following her voice. Taking a deep breath, Sirius wiped his face, rose from his bed, and stepped towards the door.

(Y/N) stared up at the silver nameplate, nervously tapping her foot as she debated calling his name once again. In her hands, she carried a freshly baked pumpkin pasty on a small silver platter.

“Just act normal,” she thought as she waited for Sirius’s reply, “Be calm.” But despite her constant pep-talks, (Y/N)’s nerves skyrocketed once the door to Sirius’s bedroom swung open.

Right off the bat, she could tell something was wrong. The Sirius that stood before her had puffy, red eyes and bore the expression of someone who had spent a significant amount of time crying.

“Yes?” He asked in a steady voice, one that completely betrayed his appearance.

“W-Well, I was just in the kitchen making some, uh, pumpkin pasties” She started, raising the silver platter, “And I thought since I haven't seen you in a while, that I would bring you one…” (Y/N) hadn’t realized she was no longer looking up at Sirius or that she was tapping her finger nervously against the platter, “Because I was worried… about you” she finished, meeting Sirius’s surprised expression.

Worried? About him? Sirius’s eyes shifted from the delectable treat to (Y/N)’s bright, (e/c) eyes, surprised by her genuine act of kindness. He was not surrounded by thoughtfulness or generosity while he was in Azkaban so having (Y/N), a woman he barely just met, go out of her way for him was undeniably heartwarming. Slowly, he picked up the pasty, enjoying the warmth of the dough radiating into his palm, and took a bite.

The delightful combination of pumpkin puree and cinnamon instantly covering his tastebuds, the dough practically melting in his mouth. He finished his treat and cleaned off the remnants of the pumpkin filling on his fingers. Clearing his throat, Sirius reached out and pulled (Y/N) in for a tight hug, “Thank you,” he uttered, his head resting on top of hers, “and… I’m sorry for making you worry”

(Y/N) gasped when Sirius pulled her in, the feeling of his arms around her waist making her blush instantly. Although she had speculated how Sirius would react, she certainly did not expect him to hug her, much less utter an apology. (Y/N) let her arms wrap around his larger frame, her free hand patting his back lightly, “You don’t have to apologize,” she replied, her head resting against his chest.

“But I do,” Sirius cut in, “I promised I’d help you and all I’ve done is hide....” He said, releasing his grip to look down at her, “And that wasn’t right.”

(Y/N)’s words suddenly failed her, the feeling of Sirius brushing a strand of hair behind her ear made her heart flutter. Sirius smiled down at her before releasing her, “Now, why don’t we go have some more of those delicious pasties?” He joked, gesturing towards the stairs.

“I guess it’s my turn to apologize,” (Y/N) muttered sheepishly, “I kind of made a mess in the kitchen…” but Sirius only laughed at her remarks, stretching his hand out towards her.

“Kreacher will handle the cleanup” he added, “Besides, you’ve done all the baking so it’s natural for you to now.”

“You do make a great point, Black,” (Y/N) replied, a grin spreading across her face as she took Sirius’s hand and followed him down the stairs.

---

It was now early December, and the excitement of the Christmas holidays began to settle over the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place. In a few weeks, Harry Potter would be let out of Hogwarts and Sirius had spent most of his time preparing for his arrival.

When he wasn’t cleaning, Sirius helped (Y/N) with her Transfiguration and often spent their time in the kitchen, searching for recipes they could use on Christmas Day. Today, however, the two of them decided to take a break to relax and enjoy themselves.

In the sitting room, Sirius laid across one of the couches, happily munching on some shortbread cookies they had previously made. (Y/N) sat at the piano, randomly plucking at keys, enjoying the faint sound of the fire crackling from within the fireplace.

“So,” Sirius started, resuming their game of twenty questions, that had now gone past the initial twenty, “Hogwarts House?” He asked, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Oh, we’re back to basics, aren’t we?” (Y/N) joked, earning another laugh from Sirius while she played one final glissando before swiveling on the bench, “I consider myself an observant person and I’ve noticed that you seem to be the only Gryffindor in a home of Slytherins”

Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow, “Your observations would be correct,” he replied, “But, I don’t remember asking what you think my house was” Sirius teased, reaching for another cookie.

“Now, you can’t get upset,” (Y/N) started, playfully raising her hands defensively, “but I was a part of Slytherin house.”

At her words, Sirius choked on his cookie, shot up into a seating position and began coughing up crumbs. Once he caught his breath, he shook his head, “You?! A Slytherin?” He asked in bewilderment, wondering if she was just playing a practical joke on him.

But (Y/N) only nodded confidently, “and I’m proud of it, thank you very much!” She stated, shooting him a wink from her seat at the piano. It was safe to say (Y/N) had grown quite comfortable around Sirius and had no trouble following through her flirtatious remarks.

“Blimey, you really had me fooled,” Sirius laughed, falling back onto the couch, “I never thought a Slytherin would worry as much as you do”

(Y/N) scoffed impishly, placing her hand over her heart, “That hurts, Black. I didn’t take you for the stereotypical type” she quipped, rising from the bench to rest on the couch opposite of Sirius. “Besides,” she added, snatching up a cookie for herself and taking a bite, “I’ve worn my old house scarf plenty of times, I’m surprised you didn’t notice it then.”

Sirius gave a hearty laugh, raising his arms up defensively like she had done before, “Sorry, doll” he apologized, looking over at her with a smirk, “But I’ve been too busy looking at that pretty face of yours to pay attention to some old scarf,” Sirius complimented smoothly, chuckling at the dark blush painting your cheeks.

“Have you always been this charming?” asked (Y/N) in a joking manner, turning on her side so her body was facing Sirius’s.

“That counts as your next question,” Sirius hummed, tapping his index finger against his temple in acknowledgment, “I’d like to say so, I’m quite flattered you find me charming” he admitted while nodding his head contentedly. He turned his head to look at her once again, eyes raking over her body in silent admiration.

Sirius felt odd. He would’ve never imagined that he and (Y/N) would get along so well, much less spend days lounging around until the wee hours staring up at the newly enchanted ceiling getting to know each other. In an attempt to raise Sirius’s spirits, (Y/N) had bewitched the ceiling to resemble the starry night’s sky. Just the two of laying over a blanket with Sirius expertly pointing out the various star clusters until she felt asleep at his side.

He never woke her when she fell asleep. Instead, he scooped her up from the ground and tucked her into her bed without complaints. Sirius didn’t quite understand why, but there was something refreshing about the angelic look of peace on her face and the her soft smile never failed at brightening his mood.

“Do you miss them?” asked (Y/N), redirecting their conversation to the stars above them, “Your family, I mean”

Sirius remained silent, his eyes shifting back towards the bewitched ceiling to find the Leo constellation. He stared up at the brightest star in that formation, the name Regulus scrawled around in tiny cursive letters.

“Some of them,” he replied gloomily, “Sometimes I recall the lousy Pureblood parties I attended when I was younger and remember playing with my brother and cousins… before it all went to shit,” Sirius explained, his eyes trailing over the various constellations to find ‘Andromeda’, “My Mother, on the other hand, was a foul old hag. If I could, I’d remove that portrait of her and burn it to ashes, but it seems she thought ahead and permanently stuck herself to the wall.”

(Y/N) hadn’t expected such an honest reply from Sirius. In all honesty, she thought he would brush her remark to the side or make a joke about how that’s her second question.

“I miss them too,” she added, feeling compelled to share a story of her own, “My parents passed when I was incredibly young, and my older brother disappeared for quite a while. I thought- well, I hoped to find him alive, but when I did… he wasn’t the same,” (Y/N) explained with a frown, “He looked sick, raving about blood-status, how we were all in danger and then I saw it. On his left arm, the Dark Mark on my brother’s arm and I froze, like an imbecile.”

Sirius pulled his eyes away from the ceiling as she told her story, frowning slightly at the glossy eyes that never met his. (Y/N) sniffled slightly, running her index finger underneath her eye to collect the tears that threatened to spill, “He raised his wand at me, he told me I had seen too much and that I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t react,” She paused to take a deep breath, “But Mad-Eye was there and he finished my brother off before he could hurt me.”

Then she fell silent, sniffling softly before letting out a soft chuckle, “Some way to start off Auror training, right?” joked (Y/N), looking towards Sirius who met her tearful gaze with a solemn expression, “Wow, Sirius…I’ve never seen you look so concerned”

Sirius’s eyes widened slightly and he cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from hers in embarrassment, “I’m sorry about your brother,” he replied, choosing to ignore her comment, “I know what it’s like to lose one too.” He admitted, looking back at her with a sorrowful smile.

“See, we’re not as different as we thought we were,” (Y/N) declared, sitting up on the couch, “Thank you for telling me about your family,” She said to Sirius, her gaze locked with his, “And for helping me with my magic.”

Sirius smiled softly, rose from his seat on the couch, and walked over to (Y/N), extending a hand out towards her, “No, thank you,” he admitted, “You’ve brought me happiness in this hell hole, I never thought I’d make happy memories here again”

(Y/N) slipped her hand into his and stood up from her seat, “I’m glad I could help,” she breathed, lightly squeezing Sirius’s hand. The two of them stood, hand in hand, in silence, each contemplating their next move. With a small inhale, (Y/N) rose to her tiptoes, pressed her lips against Sirius’s cheek, and quickly slinked out of the room.

Sirius looked back, but he stood alone in the empty room, the tip of his finger trailing the spot where her lips had been.

“Charming” he uttered to himself, letting out a small chuckle before exiting the room with another shortbread cookie in hand.

---

Only a couple of people had taken note of Sirius’s interesting behavior. How he would stand up every time (Y/N) entered or exited a room, how he would slide her chair in while she sat, and how close the two of them would stand whenever they were cooking.

(Y/N) leaned up against the countertops, sipping her hot chocolate as Tonks rambled on about her latest expedition with Moody. She smiled at her friend’s stories, recalling the times in the Clocktower Courtyard where they could only speculate what their future would’ve been like.

“And what about you?” Questioned Tonks, a knowing smile playing at her lips as she leaned in closer to her friend, “Anything interesting to report?”

“Yes, actually,” (Y/N) declared confidently, setting her mug down, “I’ve gotten quite good at human transfiguration and I’m certain I will pass the disguise portion of the exam now.”

Tonks gave a nod of encouragement, but rolled her eyes in disappointment, “Do you ever think about anything else?” She asked teasingly, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s brilliant that you’re focusing on your training, but what else have you done?”

(Y/N) raised her eyebrows inquisitively, “Well-” she cleared her throat, “I’ve gone to the bookstore a couple of times, baked, and I’ve had dinner with Sirius” she started, her mind drifting to the many evenings they had shared together, “Oh, you missed it. We enchanted the ceiling to look like the night’s sky, it would keep moving so you could see all the star constellations, like a large map.” (Y/N) explained dreamily, her eyes twinkling with excitement as she continued, “We would lay in the sitting room talking and then, the next morning I would wake up in my bed with no recollection of ever getting there.”

There was a small pause, “I told him about my brother,” (Y/N) admitted quietly, her eyes trained towards the wooden floorboard, “and he told me about his family, your mum,” she added, looking back to meet Tonks’s gaze, “and his brother.”

Tonks looked extremely surprised, she pursed her lips momentarily before awkwardly scratching the back of her neck, “I never expected him to tell you that,” she admitted dejectedly, but a smile quickly replaced her sad expression, “Sirius is a good man, Remus tells me stories from when they were at school together,” she explained excitedly, “It’s a good thing we weren’t walking the corridors together”

The schoolmates laughed wholeheartedly, holding each other’s hands as they finished their hot chocolate, “I reckon we would’ve given them a run for their money if we did,” she added with a wink and the two friends embraced.

“Merry Christmas, Tonks,” (Y/N) muttered, tightening her arms around her friend and Tonks did so in response.

“Merry Christmas, and to many more” grinned Tonks, “Maybe we’ll both be Aurors by the next one” she joked, nudging her on the side as people flooded into the kitchen.

(Y/N) smiled towards the people settling into their seats, her eyes scanning the room for Sirius, but he was nowhere in sight. The Weasley Twins crowded their mother, making jokes about carrying the pots to the table as she refused their help. Tonks moved towards Molly, taking the tray off her hands, and giving her a sympathetic smile as they set the table.

Taking advantage of the commotion, (Y/N) slipped out of the room to find Sirius. After having spent four months with him in Grimmauld Place, she had a strong inkling as to where Sirius could be.

“Sirius?” She called, peeking her head curiously into the drawing room where, as she expected, Sirius stood. He was staring towards a burn mark on the wall, his fingers tracing over the charred remains before acknowledging her.

“It’s astonishing how much you worry,” chuckled Sirius, looking over his shoulder to shoot a wink at her. (Y/N) scoffed, but smiled as she sauntered into the room, “It’s Christmas, you know. The day you’ve been dreaming about these past few weeks,” she spoke in a sing-song voice, slowly approaching Sirius with each word.

Sirius turned fully, spreading his arms out as he did so, “How do you know what I’ve been dreaming about?” He asked, a devilish grin appearing on his face.

“Hm, I believe I recall telling you I’m an excellent legilimens,” She said in mock ponderment, but giving herself into his embrace, “We’re waiting on you, you know?” She added, inhaling deeply to take in that sweet smell of smoky sugar she had grown so fond of.

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting then,” Sirius whispered, twirling the ends of her hair between his fingers. Merlin, but he could stay here forever just with her in his arms, a sweet smell of cinnamon filling his lungs as they embraced.

“Yes, you’re right,” She agreed, stepping out of his grip, and heading towards the doorway. Sirius slinked after her, his eyes flickering up towards the door frame, “Wait a minute,” he blurted out without thinking, making (Y/N) halt right underneath it. With a sheepish smile, he walked up towards her and reached down to grab her hand, pressing a kiss against the back of it and meeting her starry-eyed expression. His other hand was gripping his wand, discreetly flicking up towards the ceiling to re-enchant the drawing room ceiling.

“The stars are wonderful, aren’t they?” Sirius muttered, running his fingers against her palm until their hands were firmly pressed together. (Y/N)’s eyes instinctively shifted upwards, catching sight of the twinkling stars rotating throughout the ceiling.

Her eyes, however, caught sight of something else, something much smaller hanging from the ceiling. No- hanging from the doorway was a small plant with a cluster of white berries all around it. Her mouth fell open as she stared up at the plant, “Mistletoe…” she breathed out, meeting Sirius’s gaze with a dark blush painting her cheeks, “Was that your doing too?” She asked teasingly, nudging his shoulder with a small smile.

Sirius let out a noise of feigned pain, clicking his tongue as he smiled down at her, “That hurts, Doll. You know I have more honor than that,” He mused, pulling her into another embrace, “But,” he cleared his throat, hoping he did not misread their situation, “If you don’t want to, we can just pretend it never-“

“Are you mad?” (Y/N) cut him off, placing her hands on either side of Sirius’s face, “Stop talking, Sirius and just do it,” she urged, leaning her face closer to his, but refusing to close the gap between them.

Sirius didn’t mind, he preferred to make the first move either way, “As you wish,” he replied and rested his hand against her cheek, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. Her heart beat growing faster and faster as Sirius’s handsome face came up to her own. Their lips brushed together for a moment before completely dipping down and capturing her lips in a sweet kiss.

Their fingers locking together as her body pressed closer to his. Sirius placed his hand against her waist, keeping her close while their lips melted together and he could only focus on how soft her lips felt against her mouth, how addictively she invaded all his senses. (Y/N) could have sworn time had stopped when his lips met hers and she was only brought back to reality when he pulled away, his finger trailing delicately over the apple of her pink cheek.

“I think we’ve kept them waiting long enough now,” Sirius announced, flicking his wand towards the ceiling to make the stars disappear, his hand still gripping hers gently, “Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, you’re quite right,” She replied with a subtle nod of her head, “I suppose we should go”

Sirius smiled, leaned down, and pressed a kiss against her forehead. Retrieving his hand from hers and gesturing towards the stairs, which she descended first. The two of them slipped into the fully decorated kitchen, both smiling at the group of people seated at the long table as they settled into empty seats.

“What took you so long?” asked Tonks, gently shoving (Y/N)’s shoulder when she sat down.

But (Y/N) only smiled at her question, her eyes flickering towards Sirius and meeting his mischievous gaze as he lifted his wine glass towards her and brought it to his lips. The smile on her face only grew and she quickly shot him a wink before looking back towards Tonks.

“Oh, nothing,” She lied, happily poking at her dinner with her fork, “Just making sure Buckbeak was comfortable”

Tonks squinted towards her, but decided her answer was good enough… for now. (Y/N), however, had no intention of revealing what happened upstairs and spent the rest of the evening with the lingering feeling of Sirius’s lips ghosting over hers.

As they all bid their goodnights, (Y/N) climbed up into her room and caught sight of Sirius closing his door. But before he did, he raised his hand up to his lips and blew a kiss in her direction, his signature smirk appearing at his lips. (Y/N) pretended to catch the floating kiss, playfully bringing it to her cheek and laughing when Sirius did.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

“Merry Christmas, Sirius.”

And with that, the two of them closed their bedroom doors. Simultaneously, albeit unknowingly, flopping onto their mattresses with grins of satisfaction plastered over their faces. It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep, but the two of them had the same thought as they went…

“What would it be like to fall asleep in each other’s arms?”

#wow this was literally 14 pages #I need to shorten my stories bro lol #Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts fanfic #hogwarts imagine #Harry Potter #harry potter and the order of the pheonix #hogwarts mystery fanfic #hogwarts mystery fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black x slytherin reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius x y/n #sirius black x you #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #imagine

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thesmokingguns · 3 years

Text

Wendy and The Lost Boys

CHAPTER FOUR

WARNINGS: Mentions of smoking and drinking, there is sexual content so please be 18+

Tommy was twirling his drumsticks backstage getting ready to go on stage for the Halloween show. They were playing with Ratt at the Solari Ballroom and were supposed to go on in five minutes. The band had all dressed up as vampires for the set. Tommy peaked out and saw the place was packed. He felt a hand on his shoulder turning to see Nikki smirking at him. They headed on stage cheers rising up. The amount of chicks that were filling the club in their little costumes. It was going to be a hell of an after party.

Nikki saw the bunny ears and smirked knowing exactly what that girl would be wearing. He watched the ears bob to the front of the crowd bouncing along to the music and missed a fucking note when he saw Sasha, tits pushed up and almost spilling out of the Playboy bunny suit she was wearing. She looked exactly like one of his dirty dreams but she was there in person. Her blue eyes landed on him and the way she smiled made him almost fall off the stage. How the fuck did she look so good? Was it because he wasn’t seeing her everyday anymore? He watched her singing along to the music, her blonde hair shaking to the beat. If she kept moving like that she was going to pour right out of her top. As much as Nikki wanted to see that he didn’t want anyone else to see it. He said a silent thank you when she seemed to notice and tugged that tighter than life outfit up the half inch it could go. She still was pouring out of that top land he couldn’t focus on the set at all watching her dance in front of him like that

When they finished up playing Nikki wanted to yank her out of the audience but she was headed to the bar, her bunny tail shaking along with her, before he could grab her. It was like everything he was thinking she was already one step ahead of. He quickly headed into the crowd, trying to avoid the crowds of girls that all seemed to want to talk to him. Sasha turned a glass of Jack Daniels in her hand that she handed to him. Nikki was surprised but thankful as he slammed the liquid back in two burning gulps.

“Do I look like a magazine cover?” She asked him with a teasing smile on her face as he set the empty glass along the bar, nodding to the bartender that he wanted a refill. His hand was on her hip pulling her closer to him so she could talk to her without anyone hearing their conversation. Her long eyelashes swooping to look down at his hand and back up into his green eyes nearly knocked Nikki on his ass. What was it about her tonight that was making him so crazy?

“Why do you have to be the biggest tease? Don’t you know hard it is already without you putting in any effort?” He asked her, he felt her hand on his cheek and knew she was going to take the cigarette behind his ear. She smirked as she plucked it from him, Sixx opened the lighter for her, moving back and breaking the contact he had on her. “I like your costume but you know I’m a Hustler guy. I’m all about full nudity.” He threw back the comment from a couple months ago, watching the way that she smirked up at him. Sasha leaned in her lips kissing his earlobe with each word she spoke.

“I’m a Hustler girl in bed. You can ask my boyfriend about it later.” Her voice was like velvet and razorblades as she delivered the burn to him. At the mention of her having a boyfriend Nikki frowned. She flicked her ashes turning back to look through the crowd.

“What are you talking about?” He was getting angry with her comment. She didn’t respond to him, only finished her drink, taking a drag of the cigarette she had stolen from him. Nikki was getting riled up way earlier in the night than she had expected him to. “Do you hear me or am I talking to-“ he stopped talking when this blonde guy walked over wrapping Sasha up in his arms and giving her a kiss. And not her usual peck on the cheek she’d greet some of the guys with but she leaned into his arms kissing him deeper than Nikki wanted her to kiss anyone.

“Sugar Pie, I couldn’t find you during the show.” His hand stayed on her hip where the bassist had been holding a moment before. He wanted to know who this stranger was and why he thought he could walk up to Sasha like this. “Let me buy you a drink, sugar pie.” The guy didn’t even seem to notice Nikki standing there as he ordered her a drink handing it to the blonde girl with a smile on his face that the bassist was thinking about punching, “Are you going to say hello to your brother before we leave for the party?” Nikki was watching her face that she has masked in this perky smile despite her blue eyes being bored with this person.

“Yeah, Cherry Pie, why don’t you come backstage and say hello to Tommy.” Nikki butted in coming up with his own spin on the nickname the man had been using for her. She gave Nikki a pointed look making his smirk just widen knowing that the nickname had done it’s damage. The guy, who she had obviously come with, turned looking at the bassist like he was just realizing that he was standing there.

“OH! You just played.” He said nodding his head like he was understanding who he was standing with now, “Not my favorite music but you guys are a good club band. I could see you doing some of the Top 40’s with your chick singer. She was great.” The guy tucked a hand in his khakis before wrapping his arm around Sasha who had the biggest shit eating grin on her face as Nikki fumed at what the prick had just said to him. Be should punch that fucking asshole right in his mouth. They were already walking away, her little bunny tail shaking with each step she took. She turned to look at him over her shoulder and mouthed ‘club band’ before making herself laugh so hard she leaned against the blonde man.

Sasha was sitting backstage, perched on the side of the couch, her legs draped effortlessly between the college preps legs. His name was Len, short for Leonard which was the stupidest name Nikki should think of. Nikki couldn’t stop looking at the dumb bunny tail that would shake when she laughed. It had been two months of college for Sasha and he could see the way that she was changing. Nikki wasn’t sure that he liked seeing all the changes.

“Sugar Pie, we should get going now. The party has already started and I still need to pick up the keg for the house.” She looked down at the man on the couch who was staring up at her like a lost puppy dog.

“Why don’t you head over there, Len? It’s Friday night and I haven’t had any time to spend with my brother. I’ll take a taxi over later.” She didn’t really give him any room to argue as she moved her legs for him to stand up. The boy was flustered but tilted her head back letting him kiss her. The way her cherry lips attached to his, turning his mouth the same color as her lipstick had the boy flustered when he pulled away. Nikki watched her swipe her lip over her top lip and the guy swallowed. That fucking guy couldn’t handle her. He left shaken and the smile on her face was bright. With him gone the first thing Nikki did was slide across the couch so he took the man's spot.

“You’re not really dating him, right?” Vince asked, squeezing the bunny tail as he passed with a look of pure delight on his face at her costume, “That’s a real playmate costume.” She rolled her eyes at the lead singer. Leave it to Vince to be able to tell just from squeezing her tail that she was in the actual Playboy suit.

“He’s in the Frat that my sorority is close to. We’ve been out a lot together.” She shrugged her shoulders, her feet slipped between Nikki’s legs, one of her ankles resting on his left knee. He sat back, his hand sliding to rest on her ankle. He did it casually so it didn’t look like he was freaking out like he was inside. Fucking Sasha and her easy going nature were throwing the bassist off so much tonight he felt like he was in a fog, “And I got a job as a waitress at the Playboy club which is why I’m in uniform. So I have a favor to ask you.” She plucked the cigarette out of Nikki’s mouth that he had just lit to keep his mind off whatever game she was playing. “I work late a few nights and I don’t want to have to go back up to school so can I crash on the couch a couple nights a week?” She looked at Tommy who was already jumping up picking her up and spinning her around. The energy the drummer had at all times was absolutely insane. He woke up going 100 miles an hour like he was now.

“HELL FUCKING YEAH! You’re going to be back on the Strip with us!” He set her down watching the way she smiled at him, she had called a few nights from school and she wasn’t sleeping. He was sure she took the job in hopes of getting a couple hours of sleep a night, “I can walk you back too. That way you’re not out late by yourself because mom would kill me.” Sasha looked past Tommy to where Nikki was sitting on the couch watching her.

“Good. Can I sleep over tonight?” Her eyes didn’t leave Nikki’s and he looked away grabbing the bottle of Jack off the table. Something was almost aggressive about her tonight and Nikki needed to make sure he stayed ahead of whatever was going on. Which was going to be very hard because she was literally dressed like his fantasy.

“Of course!” Tommy didn’t seem to see the exchange between her and the bassist. Or if he did he knew better than to comment on it.

“Won’t your boyfriend get mad about you not going to the Frat party?” Nikki asked from the couch, he was grumpy like Mick usually was, and she knew it was because of her. Sasha smirked knowing her plan of making him jealous was working.

“I said we went out a few times. So he’s not really my boyfriend. Are you guys going out or back to the apartment for an after party?” She turned to Tommy as she swatted Vince’s hands away from her bunny tail he was trying to squeeze again. “Down, boy.” She teased giving the singer a look that made Nikki stand up.

“Apartment. Let’s go.” His hand was on her upper arm already dragging her out. He tried to put his leather jacket over her shoulders to cover her but she kept shrugging it off. “It’s cold.” He commented as a car drove past catcalling and whistling. When she blew them a kiss he turned to give Tommy a look for some support but the drummer was just laughing.

“Stop walking so fast.” She complained, pulling her arm out of Nikki’s and falling back a few paces. Vince squeezed the tail again. “Stop.” She smacked his hands away watching him smirk at her as the boys all got ahead of her. They were all idiots, she decided watching the way Tommy ran with Vince through traffic to a group of girls across the street. They were probably going to spread word about a party that was BYOB so they wouldn’t have to buy anything.

Sasha’s high heels clicked against the concrete as she walked and she shivered wishing she hadn’t been trying to make Nikki jealous of people looking at her. She could use his coat now that they had been walking for a few minutes. She looked up seeing the bassist waiting for her on the corner. Sasha reached out her hand smirking when he laced their fingers together and turned into the street. Nikki had slowed his pace, realizing she was teetering in the high heels. She leaned into him, her skin cold.

“You’re really working at the Playboy club?” He asked as they headed up the stairs. The way her hips swung side to side he could see why Vince had a hard time keeping his hands off her bunny tail. Sasha nodded her head, moving to the window that was open about an inch. She was glad that they had made it back to the apartment first. She wanted to sit down without hearing a thousand people talking over each other. “Aren’t you worried about what people might think?” He asked as she stepped inside. Sasha looked up at him, confused.

“What would anyone think of me being a waitress?” She asked him. Nikki didn’t want to say it was him that was worried. All the men that went to those clubs and her in that little costume of hers, spilling out so that eyes didn’t want to leave her. She could see his eyes on her outfit and she nodded her head in understanding. “Well, I’m wearing more than what Tommy wears on stage and I’m making more money in tips than you probably made for the show tonight.” He didn’t mean to offend her but there was this annoyance in her voice.

“I have vodka!” They both turned to see Tommy coming in the window, followed by a group of people all trying to push their way through. “Take shots with me.” He was pulling her into the kitchen, both of them laughing like little kids.

Nikki watched her all night only losing sight of her when his head was down to snort a line. She had been practically glued to Tommy’s side. They called him and the drummer the terror twins but the way that Sasha and T-Bone were together was even worse. They took turns pouring vodka down each other’s throats like water, they had set fire to the carpet when she pointed out a cockroach, and she was this wingwoman for him having girls feel comfortable around him so he could pull three girls at a time in his room- which he was sneaking away to do now. But as soon as Tommy left her she was swarmed by guys and he could see she fucking loved it.

He watched the way she would pull a cigarette from her pack and how they would light it for her. This party trick never ceases to make her laugh. At one point she was looking for a place to sit and someone had lifted her up setting her on the counter. Nikki had almost dove across the room when he put his hands on her. But he knew better. He was going to keep his distance because there was no way she was going to do something bad. He was able to contain it until some fucking guy leaned in whispering in her ear. He could see the pink blush sliding over her cheeks and only could imagine what he was saying. She wrapped her arms around the man's neck letting him lift her down from the counter and letting him lead her to his fucking room. Nikki was to them before they even had a chance to turn the doorknob.

“Get the fuck out.” He warned the guy. The man turned stunned to see Nikki standing there but the bassist wasn’t in the mood, “In the room, Angel.” he told the girl watching as she pulled away from the man and opened the door to Nikki’s room.

“I know her from school-”

“I’m not going to ask you again to get out of my apartment. If I need to make you leave it’s going to be a real problem for you.” Nikki warned. He could see the kid calculating the words being spoken to him. In the end the kid left and Nikki opened the door to his room.

Sasha didn’t bother to turn to look at him. She had her back to him, her hands tracing over his bureau. She had kicked off her shoes leaving them in the middle of the floor for Nikki to trip on when he woke up in the morning. Sasha had been around Nikki enough to know when he was angry and she had been pushing all of his buttons tonight. The sound of his door locking and the soft scraping of his chair against the rug to go under the handle made her heart catch in her throat. She could feel him behind her, close enough that the warmth of his body was radiating against her. His hands were on her leg sliding up the tights, chuckling deeply as he flicked the bunny tail, her hands still moved up, over the curve of her hips to the small of her waist where he squeezed as if realizing for the first time how slim she was, before moving up again.

Nikki wanted her. All the teasing and flirting with other men. Seeing her parading around in the bunny costume, kissing boys, the hands of men reaching out to get a touch of her had been driving him crazy. Then she had the audacity to try and take another man into his room. It was too much for him to take. He tugged down the zipper, without a word, letting the tight costume come loose from her body. She didn’t say anything, just stepped out of the outfit, watching as he reached out her to lay it flat on his bureau.

Sasha licked her lips, his hands were moving to her tights and panties that he rolled off herin one careful motion, laying them on top of her costume. The fluttering feeling was in her stomach and she could feel this weight between her legs of warmth as she thought about what was going to come next. Nikki turned her around, his eyes taking in the fully naked girl in front of him. Her tits perky with pink nipples already pointed, just begging for his mouth to suckle them. He wanted to leave purple hickeys all over her, marking every inch of Sasha as off limits to anyone but him. She was watching him take her in, her blue eyes curious as to what he was going to do with her now that he had her naked.

“I didn’t like you bringing a boyfriend to a show.” he told her, watching the way she rolled her eyes at him, “It’s not funny, angel. I’m not laughing. I’m not smiling. It’s not a fucking game.” he didn’t like how she was just looking at him smiling. Sasha reached out, her fingers stroking his cheek, her simile widening as NIkki’s eyes closed and he pressed his face into her hand. He was getting right to where she had wanted him to be.

“It has to be a game with you, Nikki. You don’t want to date me because you refuse to be serious with anyone. So it’s like a game of cat and mouse.” her nails scratched at his face softly, “Gotcha.” she whispered, making his green eyes flash open. He had played right into her hands. She had done everything to make him jealous and make it to this moment in time. Now that she was naked in front of him, the emotions rising all night what was he supposed to do.

“No one is going to win this game.” he warned her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was going to end up hurt and Nikki liked her too much for that to happen. Sasha shrugged her shoulders slightly.

“Why don’t you just kiss me, Sixx? Instead of reading off your warning label. I don’t want anything other than you to kiss me right now. It doesn’t have to be anymore than that.” she was lying to him and they both knew it. They both could see how they wanted each other, all of each other in that selfish way like kids who couldn’t share toys. NIkki had proved tonight that he didn't want her around anyone else. But she was giving herself to him and he was going to take it.

His hands slid to her ass lifting her up easily, letting her wrap herself around him. If she wanted to play with fire he was going to make her burn. As soon as he pressed his lips to hers in the desperate hungry kiss he felt like he was falling. It was like the first time he did drugs. The overwhelming comfort of something to get lost in. She surprised him with the wetness of her tongue exploring his mouth before he could slide his into hers. She kissed just as desperately as he felt. The feeling of her tongue round his, his teeth biting her bottom lip, pulling it closer into the kiss. How could he only have just a kiss? He pressed her against the bed, feeling her hands pulling at his clothes. Sasha didn't want anything between them. She wanted to feel Nikki against her, all of him without a barrier.

“Just the shirt.” he begged her as she went to untie his leather pants, “Just the shirt, angel. If I’m naked I won’t be able to control myself.” his mouth was trying to find hers again but she pulled away, the way she looked at him. Those blue eyes lustful and shining like stars, her lips pouting accented only from the fact he had been roughly kissing her, he was fucking screwed. He would have done anything she wanted at that point.

“Nikki, please, I just want to see all of you. I want to touch every part of you. Please, Nikki.” The way she said his name and how polite she was. He didn’t even realize he was untying his pants until they were bunched up around his ankles. “Oh my god.” It was worth it for that reaction from her. She gave him a shy blush then and he knew he needed to control himself. Sasha made room for him to come back onto the bed, her legs moving to weave with his as they continued kissing, like sloppy teenagers. His hands went to her breasts, the hiss she released, as he tugged at her nipples. She was so sensitive, bucking against him.

“You like this, angel?” he asked his thumb and pointer finger rolling her nipples, tugging at them and getting the soft throaty moans to come from her. Nikki used this opportunity to kiss along her throat. He wanted to leave little marks for that piece of shit college boy to find later. He wanted to see her tomorrow putting cover up on the marks or tying a scarf. He felt so possessive over the girl who was very much not his. He had made it clear he didn’t date and she had made it clear she still wanted this. Sasha’s hand crept up between them gripping Nikki’s hardness in her smaller hands, moving up and down as she kissed him. Wet mouths so hunger for each other and desperate to make the night they were having to last for as long as it could. “A little faster, like this.” he moved her hand up and down his length, watching the pink of her cheeks as he bucked against her motion, NIkki was trying to open up her thighs, he wanted to dip his fingers into her honey and lick up the sweet taste of her body. But she was managing to keep her legs together despite the ache between them wanting him. Her mouth was hungry for him and greedy as she took in his taste. It was like he was made of alcohol and sorrow; it was all she could taste on his tongue and she was in love with it.

“Oh fuck, Sixx.” Sasha whimpered feeling his mouth move down, a tongue licking over one of her hard nipples. Her hips pushed forward making her moan as she pressed into the solid thigh. She was stroking him like crazy now, a puddle in his arms as they laid in the bed beside each other. Nikki could feel her wetness against his thigh and pushed his leg against her hearing her moan loudly. Thin layers of sweat were on both their bodies now. His hand moved to her back and hip, helping her grind into his thigh, the wet pussy of hers throbbing against him as he helped her ride him.

“I’m going to cum, angel, but I want you to keep riding my thigh.” she nodded weakly moving her hips like he was directing her to do. This build up in her stomach happening like nothing she felt before. To overload her senses more Nikkie was kissing her again. He was rougher now, his teeth gnashing against hers like he couldn't get enough. Their bodies mixed up buckling together as Nikki spilled himself onto her stomach, the warmth of his cum causing a gasp from her as he smiled against her lips. She sounded so surprised but the way she pressed her hips down spoke volumes to him, “Keep going, good girl.” he cooed watching her. It happened suddenly like she wasn’t sure what the hell was going on but she came, open mouth and moaned from her lips his name.

When she opened her eyes, she was gasping for breath and feeling like she was waking up from a dream. But he was there with her, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears, kissing the side of her mouth as if he knew she had just used up all her energy with him. She blushed looking at them both covered in each other.

“I would offer to go shower but there is a full party going on outside this room so all I can offer you is a tshirt to clean up with.” she nodded her head watching him get out of bed and pull a tshirt she had probably washed out of the drawer gently tossing it to her. He watched her clean up, this silence settling over them that he wasn’t sure how to break.

“We should probably try and get back to the party.” she was standing pulling on her underwear. It was obvious NIkki didn’t really know what to say or do, “I know you can’t do anything serious, Nikki, but I don’t want people thinking I’m just the chick you’re banging for the night. That’s just not who I am and it’s not who I want to be. But I’ll probably come back to sleep tonight if that’s cool.” she told him. “Maybe when you grow up, Peter Pan, I can be your Wendy.” she teased reaching behind him to grab a t-shirt she could wear out to the party.

He let her leave the room, slightly baffled when she pulled out a beat up pair of Keds from under his be. She also stole a cigarette laughing as she waltzed out into the room of people like she had never left it. Only now he knew her differently. And she was covered in hickeys that were peeking out from where she tried to cover them with her hair. Nikki wished he wasn’t the way he was but part of him was grateful she knew that he wasn’t going to be serious about her. Even though he liked Sasha he didn’t want to disappoint her. It would save them both a lot of heartache if they just didn’t get together, he hoped; right now all he could think about was she would leave after the weekend and he didn’t know what happened at that college campus but it left his stomach turning. Nikki redressed not wanting to think about anything at the moment because for someone who usually knew what they wanted he had no fucking idea.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx fic #motley crue fanfiction #tommy lee fanfic #nikki six fanfic #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx x oc #Nikki Sixx writing

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lilliagradiewrites · 4 years

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evermore (jj maybank)

Summary: Y/N is in a depressive state, but refuses to tell her boyfriend. After she walks out on a party, JJ realizes that something is off, and rushes to comfort her.

*based off of the song “evermore” from Taylor Swift’s new album!!

WC: 2.2k

WARNINGS: Mentions of depression/ symptoms of depression, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks, mentions of suicide/ death. (The reader is at a very low point during this. Please proceed with caution of mentions of depression triggers you.)

A/N: Hey my lovelies! I have a new piece for you. This is a one- shot, and is on the shorter side. If you don’t know, Taylor Swift released a new album on the 11th. I have been so obsessed with it, and one of my favorites from the record is the title track “evermore.” I knew i had to write something based off of that song! This is inspired by that song, and I encourage you to listen to it while you read.

Much love to you all, and happy holidays! I hope you enjoy!!

LET’S DO IT!

~~~~~~

The night was cold as you walked quietly down the street, the old cardigan your best friend gave you wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You weren’t dressed for the mid-october weather, your shorts and tank tops providing little warmth on your shivering body. As much as you hated the cold, it felt good to feel something again.

November was approaching quickly, and as you walked down the street that cold october night, you realized that you hadn’t had a true spark of happiness since that July. Of course, there were moments of joy, but it was never consistent, and lasted a day at the most.

You couldn’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment where everything went wrong, no matter how many times you’d tried. Countless times, you’d retraced your footsteps to find the moment your despair began. Unfortunately, this only resulted in distant memories from better times becoming fresh in your mind, pushing you deeper into the dark hole you were trapped in.

For a while, no one noticed a difference. Your group of friends, whom you adored, didn’t bat an eye when you left a party early because you were ‘tired’ or ‘not in the mood’, despite the fact that you loved parties. It hurt a little that they didn’t see a problem, and that only made the problem worse.

The first person to notice was JJ, your loving boyfriend. The blonde boy was the light of your life, but as your own issues began to overtake you, you found yourself pushing him away unintentionally. He would send texts, asking you to come over and see him. He'd invite you to come out to dinner with the pogues at The Wreck. He’d beg for your permission to show up at your house because he missed you so damn much.

Time after time, you replied with perfectly crafted excuses that left him concerned, but with no questions. That’s all you needed to accomplish, really. If he didn’t ask any questions, then you’d be fine.

The routine was working out pretty well for you in the beginning. JJ and the rest of the group would accept your excuses and go along with what you told them, even if they found it slightly suspicious.

But, after a while, your constant absence finally hit them. It was concerning, especially when it came to someone like you. Your parents weren’t strict, so it wasn’t an obedience thing. You loved parties, and were quite social, so it wasn’t a social anxiety thing. They wondered at their hangouts what could be wrong, but none of them could come up with a viable explanation.

Texts from your friends were lighting up your phone at a constant rate, but you trained yourself to ignore them. Your mind had convinced you that all of them hated you, and were only messaging you as a joke, or because they felt bad.

Though your brain tried to tell itself that JJ didn’t love you either, you were fighting hard against that idea. Even the slightest notion of your boyfriend no longer being interested in you broke you down into tears, so you tried to allow the thought to cross your mind as little as possible.

He texted you every day, asking if you were okay and trying to make plans. He texted you good morning, and goodnight, as well as a few other times throughout the day. He was a wonderful boyfriend, and you appreciated him, but you didn’t have the energy to show him the attention he deserved. You texted back for a while, but eventually gave up, leaving him on read almost every single time.

For the last few weeks, JJ had been broken up with worry. He worried that you were mad at him, that you hated him. He worried that you were leaving him. So, he showed up at your house.

As soon as he walked in your room, he could tell that something was incredibly off. You were normally a somewhat neat person, but your room was in complete disarray. Clothes littered the floor, empty plates and half-eaten bags of chips tossed absentmindedly to various locations.

And you. You looked like you hadn’t changed or bathed in weeks. Your hair was messy, and your face looked as if you’d been crying for years.

When you saw his face, your mask slipped on without a second thought.

“JJ! Hi, babes!”

“Hi, angel.” He replied, concern evident in his voice as he spoke. “I haven’t really seen you in forever. Are you okay?”

You nodded immediately, concealing your true feelings. “I’m okay. I’ve been taking up extra shifts at work because I need money for college soon. I’m trying to save up early. I’ve been so busy and exhausted, I just haven’t had the time or energy to see anybody.”

Lie. You got fired from your job a month ago because you called out ‘sick’ too many times.

JJ was still suspicious, but went accepted your story just as he had many times before.

“Alright, babe. I just miss you a lot. Take a break soon. Are you working tonight?”

“No.” You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him again.

“Well, then, you’re coming to hang out.”

You shook your head quickly, pulling your hands away from his. “No thanks, JJ. I had a late shift last night and I’m exhausted. Plus, I have an early shift tomorrow morning, and I refuse to go in hungover.”

JJ took your hands back into his, meeting your eyes. “You don’t have to stay late, and you don’t have to drink. Just come for a little bit. Like, literally for an hour. We all just miss you so much.”

When he was looking into your eyes like that, you couldn’t help but say yes. Though you knew you’d come to regret it, the smile on his face after you agreed made it all seem worth it at the time.

“Yes! Okay, my love, I have to go deliver some stuff for Pope’s dad. The party starts at ten, so I’ll pick you up at nine-thirty.”

You didn’t say anything, simply nodding to indicate that you’d heard him and understood what he said.

“Bye, baby. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” It was barely a whisper, but it seemed to be enough for JJ. He gave you one final wave before exiting your bedroom and closing the door in his wake.

When he had gone, your anxiety began to cover you. You had come to hate gatherings and parties, despite the fact that they used to be your main source of happiness and excitement. How were you going to make it through this party?

Sighing, you turned to your bedside table, moving around empty cups to peer at the time on your alarm clock. It was hard to read due to the tears in your eyes blurring your vision slightly. After a moment, you were able to decipher the numbers on the screen. 8:06 PM. You had approximately an hour and half to get ready before your boyfriend would be there to pick you up.

The first half hour, you decided, would be used for praying you were able to make it through this night.

---

About 70 minutes after your boyfriend’s visit, the clock on your bedside table read 9:12 PM. You sat at your vanity, brushing on small amounts of makeup. You didn’t want anything too crazy like you used to do; it just didn’t feel right anymore.

The same thing applied to your outfit. After almost an hour of trying things on, you went for something simple. A sage green tank top, your favorite blue jean shorts, and a basic oversized white cardigan kie had given you. The outfit was basic, but cute nonetheless. You completed the look with your pair of slip-on vans that were so beat up they could barely be classified as white anymore.

Your hair, which you normally would curl or style for parties, had been brushed through and left down. That was all you had the energy for. The party hadn’t even started yet, and you were already exhausted.

At least you had showered. It had been over a week since you last bathed, and this party gave you incentive to take care of yourself. That’s the only thing you were grateful for when it came to this party.

As you finished getting ready, you promised yourself that you would try your best to enjoy the night.

JJ had come to pick you up as he told you he would, at nine-thirty on the dot. He was always careful to be very punctual when it comes to you. He said you looked pretty when you got in his car, and the small compliment warmed your heart significantly.

The party was smaller than your normal ones. The pogues were all there, and they were all happy to finally see you again. You greeted them kindly and took your seat beside JJ, wanting to make the night go by as quickly as possible. You had hardly even arrived and you were already anxious.

As the night went by, your anxiety only got worse. You began to zone out, not paying attention to the conversation. You snapped back to reality when the whole group laughed at some joke someone told, and you just chuckled nervously along, hoping nobody noticed you weren’t being attentive.

A few hours went by, slowly but surely, and you decided that you had to be done for the night. You had been on the brink of a panic attack for the last hour, and it was getting harder to fight it off.

“Alright, guys, I’m tired. I’m probably gonna head home. I’ll see y’all later.” You announced, standing up from your seat. Immediately, JJ stood up with you, leaning into your ear.

“I’m too drunk to drive, babe. Do you think you can wait a little longer for me to sober up?”

You shook your head lightly, pushing him away. “No, it’s ok, babes. I’m just gonna walk. I don’t want to pull you away from the party anyways.”

A look of concern took over the blonde’s face. “I don’t like that. You can’t walk by yourself at night, it’s not safe.”

“I’ll be fine, J.” You assured him. “I live, like, a five minute walk away from here. We’re super close to my house. It’ll be okay.”

JJ continued to insist that you wait, but you insisted on leaving. You reassured him multiple times that you’d be alright, kissed him, grabbed your cardigan and left.

That’s how you ended up in your current position, sobbing into your cardigan sleeve as the night grew colder and colder. You were still walking along the road to your house.

You hadn’t realized how cold it was when you left. Maybe it’s because you;d been sitting up against JJ, his body heat mixing with yours to help keep the both of you warm. Now, you were all alone, with nothing but your thin cardigan to protect you from the chill of october night.

As you walked, and cried, you wondered what it would be like to just stop breathing.

Your thoughts were halted by the sound of footsteps pounding the pavement behind you. Immediately, you tensed up, suddenly scared. Who was running on the streets late at night, besides her? Who had a reason, other than kidnapping or killing someone?

You turned slowly around, and your body relaxed as you realized you recognized the person barreling towards you.

A familiar blonde boy was running in your direction, seemingly desperate to catch up with you. You stopped walking, giving him time to meet you.

“JJ?” You were talking as soon as he was close enough to hear. “What are you doing, babe? You’re supposed to be at the party.”

“I’m walking you home. I’ll go back once I know you’re safe.” He explained. He looked almost triumphant at the fact that he’d caught up with you, but his expression changed to one of concern after he got a good look at your face.

“Y/N… have you been crying?”

You shook your head, almost in instinct, but he saw right through you.

“Yes, you have. Baby, what’s wrong? Did one of us say something? What happened?”

As you looked in his eyes, those beautiful blue orbs as rocky and deep as the ocean, you felt your mask begin to slip.

“I’m not okay, J. I haven’t been for a long time.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, and the tears came almost immediately after you’d finished.

JJ took you into his arms and held you close, and for a moment, the two of you just stood there on the side of the road.

JJ let you sob for a little while, just holding you and murmuring sweet words to you. Eventually, he pulled away and looked directly into your eyes.

“I’m here for you, okay? We’ll get through this, my love. I don’t know exactly what’s going on yet, but we’ll figure it out. Together. I promise. I love you so much, Y/N. So fucking much.”

He pulled you back into his chest, and in that moment, it dawned on you.

This wasn’t the end. This pain wouldn’t last for evermore. It would pass, and JJ would be there with you when it did.

So, for the first time in a while, you finally felt okay.

~~~~

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs are super helpful and super appreciated. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Happy holidays! - Lillia

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #jj maybank fanfic #outer banks fanfic #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank angst

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

Misconstrued: Part 2

A/N: Good evening my lovelies! I was going to post this last night, but it became too late when I got home. Hopefully you all will enjoy this one! Snapshots and another request will be posted after this! Hope you all will enjoy the update as much as you liked the first one!

Anon: I don't know if this is too specific but could you do something about Angel ruining a date and later admits it because he loves them and then they have some angry smut and late night fluff

Word Count: 7317

Masterlist

Tag List: @iambabyharry : @justahopelessssromantic : @carlaangel86 : @marvelmaree : @mrsamaroevans : @ifoundmyhappythought: @woahitslucyylu : @cind-in-real-life : @briannab1234 : @fairygardenss : @gemini0410 : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @losolvidad0s : @whyisgmora : @comasi-world : @xserenax-13 : @chibsytelford

If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know! If I forgot to add you, I’m so sorry!

Ever since your date two weeks ago, Angel has not been around you as much. Whenever you were around the clubhouse, EZ was your constant companion and if it veered from the norm, it would be Coco or Gilly. From time to time, you hung out with Riz. It was always fun to exchange information about hair care products with Riz. It was ridiculous just how nice his hair was.

But you missed Angel.

You’re not sure why he avoided you like the plague, but you figured it had something to do with the date and how you confessed your feelings for him. You appreciated the distance cause maybe you can resume the friendship between you two. He would be pleasant with you, but he wouldn’t stay around like he usually did.

And it was fucking hard for Angel.

He tried his best to stay away from you. It would become difficult at times. He missed hearing your ridiculous ass stories about car owners and how much their egos reflected on their cars. He missed hearing you babble about the newest recipe you made for yourself and how you couldn’t wait to share it with him.

It broke him when you would come by the scrapyard looking for him. He would send Ezekiel to deal with you.

=================

“Come on Angel, don’t be a douche, just go talk to her.” EZ snapped. He was so annoyed by this whole situation. This had nothing to do with sponsor and prospect. This was between brothers and EZ was going to strangle Angel soon.

“Ezekiel, I’m busy, just talk to her. I can’t play hard to get if I’m readily available.” Angel argued.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” EZ walked out of the clubhouse to meet with you. Chucky had informed them that you were at the front office, asking for Angel as you had brought him something.

Angel waited for EZ to come, slightly anxious. He should stop playing this game, he fucking knew that, but he was already invested, he had to follow through.

EZ came into the office and found you sitting down, with a tupperware in your lap, and your right knee shaking away. He noticed it was something you did without noticing and from Angel told him, it was due to you becoming anxious. Angel was such a pain, the fact he was doing this to you made him that more annoying.

“Hey,” EZ greeted you.

You looked up at him and he saw the deflated look on your face that you quickly tried to mask. “Hey Ezekiel.” You greeted him. “Angel isn’t around?”

“He’s working on something, can’t pull him away, you know him. Once you distract him once, he’ll never get back to it.” EZ attempted to joke with you, but you just gave him a tight smile.

“I made him cookies, some sort of peace offering.” You extended the container towards EZ.

EZ gave you a small smile and nodded his head. “There’s no need for a peace offering, Angel isn’t mad at you.”

“Yeah?” You stood up. “Doesn’t feel like it. I’ll see you later boy scout.” You left before EZ could even say anything else.

EZ shook his head, cussing his brother’s name under his breath. He made his way back to the clubhouse, debating if he should just keep the cookies to himself. Angel didn’t deserve these cookies, especially with the way he was making you feel.

“Here, you douchebag.” Ezekiel placed the Tupperware in front of Angel, who was sitting in the clubhouse while EZ spoke with you at the scrapyard.

“What’s this?” Angel opened the Tupperware and it was your infamous cookies that he could devour without a problem on his own. They were addicting. They were white chocolate macadamia. “Fuck.” His mouth watered.

“You know this is really fucked up. She thinks you fucking hate her now.” EZ scolded his older brother. “This is a stupid game Angel, just tell her what’s going on.”

“I did, she brushed me off. I can’t be the only one putting in some effort.”

EZ rolled his eyes. “God, you’re so fucking stubborn.” EZ stood up. “She brought those as a peace offering. She knew how much you love those cookies and that maybe now you’d speak to her like before.”

Angel remained quiet, eating the cookie as EZ watched him.

“You don’t deserve those cookies with the way you’ve been acting towards her.” EZ hissed as he walked away. He paused by the door and turned around, grabbing the tupperware from Angel. “You don’t deserve these cookies.”

“Hey! Ezekiel!” Angel chased after EZ.

After that day, you kept trying to leave Angel food, but EZ was always there to intercept. It got tiring for you that Angel kept avoiding you, so you decided to give him his space. The excuses were lame and EZ knew that, but he tried to cover for his brother.

So you started giving EZ the things you were supposed to give Angel.

The one time you happened to run into Angel, he wasn’t exactly happy about your choice.

“Hey, shocking you’re here, is EZ here?” You asked Angel, trying to keep your focus. Angel was currently shirtless, wiping off all the sweat dripping down his body. You’re thankful that the sun was hitting your glasses so you could squint and not truly see Angel’s ridiculous body.

“Ezekiel? Why the fuck are you looking for him? You need someone to go with you?” Angel was avoiding you, but if he knew no one could be with you, he would go.

“No, I brought him food for lunch.” You held up the plastic you were holding.

“What do you mean they’re for EZ?” Angel noticed that you stopped dropping stuff off from him, or maybe his little brother had decided to keep things for himself.

“Yeah well, you’ve made it very clear you don’t want anything, so I don’t want to push myself onto you.” You placed the food on the picnic table. “Can you just give it to him? I gotta get back to the shop.”

“Hey, why won’t you and I grab lunch? I’m sure you haven’t eaten.” Angel was starting to see that maybe Gilly’s way was not working. He didn’t want to keep pushing you away.

“It’s okay, I have work to do, I just came to drop this off for EZ.” You slipped back inside your car, leaving the yard.

Angel cussed under his breath. EZ came out from the clubhouse, giving him a questioning look?

“Was that Y/N?” EZ questioned.

“Yeah, you making moves on my girl?” Angel knew it sounded stupid, especially how he saw the expression on EZ’s face change.

“You fucking serious right now?” EZ demanded. “You’re the one playing this stupid game.”

“Fuck you Ezekiel.”

“Yeah, well you can go fuck yourself Angel.”

=================

Currently you were getting ready for your second date with Damien. You didn’t tell anyone at the club where your second date would be or that there was going to be a second date. All you wanted to do was enjoy the night with Damien and truly get to know him.

You needed to know if there was a spark, to know if this was going to be worth it. If not, you were definitely staying away from anyone under the club’s influence.

You heard a knock on your door and opened it, the smile on your face slightly faded when you saw Angel on the other side.

“Hey.” You greeted him. “What’s up?”

“Can I come in?”

You opened your door a little wider and stepped aside to let Angel in. He scanned the room making you roll your eyes.

“Who told you I have a date tonight?”

Angel chuckled. “Not important, Damien warrants a second date?”

Angel broke his deal with Gilly today after EZ overheard your plans for a second date. He couldn’t let you go on that date, even if he’s been MIA lately.

“Why do you care? You’ve literally avoided me for the last two weeks Angel, you don’t have a club hang-around to stroke your ego tonight?” That was a low blow, but Angel needed to know that he wasn’t going to always have the upper hand.

“You jealous?” Angel smirked.

You were surprised by his question and you opened your mouth to reply no, but nothing came out.

“I think it’s cute you're jealous, cause you know how much I don’t like Damien.” Angel stepped closer to you, your back was against the door. “I’m jealous querida, I fucking hate knowing that you’re going on another date with him. Why won’t you just cancel and you let me take you out?”

“Angel, I told you, stop with the games.”

“What fucking games? I told you I fucking want you, I like you and you’re still entertaining this fucker.” Angel stepped away from her, frustrated with her.

“You’ve ignored me for two weeks, you expect me to believe you want to be around all of a sudden?”

“It was Gilly’s idea, play hard to get. You have no idea how much I fucking want you.” Angel felt like he was going crazy. All he wanted was to be with you, to start this relationship.

“Listen, I don’t need this right now. Go to Vicky’s get your dick wet, you’ll forget all about this.” It hurt you to say that, but you didn’t want to play this game with Angel. You were trying to put yourself out there. And Angel was your friend, you didn’t want to go back down that road again.

“Do you know how hard it is to fuck another woman when you’re the only thing on my mind? I can’t even get fucking hard without thinking of you.” You slightly gasped at Angel’s confession. You’ve never known anyone as blunt as Angel. He wore his heart on his sleeve, which was why you were surprised to find out he likes you or apparently does. You’ve had conversations like this with another man before, nothing came to fruition, but it was eerie to you how familiar this conversation was. He wasn’t as blunt as Angel, but he always knew what to say to keep you around. Not this time, you wouldn’t fall for it.

“Cat got your tongue querida?” Angel knew he had you. He should have been more straightforward, but he was out of his element. He was finally getting his footing.

“Angel, I have something good with Damien, please don’t ruin it.”

“Is he better than me? Is that what you’re trying to show me? I bet that he won’t make you feel as good as I do.”

“You know what, fuck you Angel. If I want to fuck anyone, I’ll fuck Damien.” You weren’t even sure why you said that. You had no plans on fucking Damien, none whatsoever. But you knew it would get to Angel and quite frankly, you felt good digging it into him.

Angel’s phone rang, preventing him from even replying to your ridiculous ass though.

“This is not finished. Have fun on your date querida.” Angel left after the phone call, most likely club business.

“He is so infuriating.”

You sat back down on your couch, awaiting Damien’s arrival, but he never came. Just a text message.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out. You’re a nice girl, very beautiful, but I just don’t think there’s a spark here.’

You reread his text message a few times, but eventually you placed your phone down, letting out a sigh.

Guess you’re back in the dating game.

=================

Currently you were at a club party. You had just walked in with EZ and your eyes immediately roamed around the outside of the clubhouse and found Angel. A beer in one hand and his other resting on a girl’s lap as he whispered into her ear. It was like what happened a few days ago didn’t even fucking happen. He was back to ignoring you, which was so much more difficult with Damien not distracting you.

“Well that’s nice.” You bitterly chuckled. “EZ tonight might be a short one.”

It was always a short one, but EZ wasn’t a dick. He wasn’t going to let Angel play his game and get a reaction from you. Angel’s game plan was simple, distance himself from you so you could seek him out and to make you jealous so that you would break and proclaim your undying love for him. But you did technically do that, Angel was just being irrational. Gilly was talking him through the whole thing while Coco and EZ just shook their head, not wanting to further egg on Angel’s stupidity.

You looked around, trying to avoid Angel. You noticed then that there were more bikes than usual. When other charters came to Santo Padre, you tried not to come to the parties since you didn’t want to run into him. You knew that he was a full patch member of Stockton. There were times you couldn’t avoid it, but when he would come, Angel was around so he didn’t even try to come near you. But it was different this time, Angel wasn’t around.

“Which charter is here?” You saw plenty of Mayans' kutte's on their backs flashing that pride proudly, but you couldn’t exactly read the patch at their front.

“Stockton.”

“Okay, I don’t know why I come to these club parties.” You shook your head. You should be over it by now, it’s been years since your last encounter with him. But knowing he used you just to get some head with the Mayans, it never sat well with you. Five years you were his so called friend and every time you tried to walk away, he gave you enough for you to stay. He kissed you once or twice, just to keep you with him, but as soon as he was a full patch, it was like you were beneath him. You never told your Tio Bishop or Tio Marcus. He was a good foot soldier and the last thing you wanted was to cause drama. This was why you promised yourself to never fall for a Mayan, you had too many connections for there to be no ulterior motive.

“Come on, you know you don’t mind the free food.” EZ teased you.

“Does your brother hate me now?” No offense to EZ, but you would really much rather have Angel as your protection detail. He kept any other club member from coming up to you. EZ was a prospect, he was technically their bitch.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. Angel could never hate you.” And this was why EZ thought Gilly’s plan was ridiculous. You weren’t going to seek out Angel. For people who claimed they knew you, they don’t seem to know you at all. You were going to shy away. You wouldn’t put yourself in the position that would make you more vulnerable. You already thought Angel didn’t like you in the way you like him and this further cemented it.

“He doesn’t really hang around me anymore. Guess the guard detail changed.” You tried to joke around with EZ, but he could tell you were hurt. The incident a few days ago was most likely a fluke. You tried to text him after, and no answer.

“Look, you’re not an idiot. Angel told you he liked you that night at the fair right?” If his older brother wasn’t going to be smart about this, then EZ would take matters into his own hands.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know if he actually meant it seeing as how where we are now.”

“It was difficult for him to tell you that and you just kind of brushed it off. We all have our insecurities, but don’t be obtuse, Angel only hung around you whenever you were here. He likes you, a lot.” EZ could see Angel watching them as your back was towards Angel. “Why not put all of us out of our miseries and talk to him?”

“Hey Diego.”

Your reply surprised EZ and he turned around. The man behind him was almost as tall as Angel, muscular built with black short hair. His eyes weren’t even on EZ, it was just on you.

“Hey, you mind giving us a minute prospect?” Diego acknowledged EZ.

“Sure, not a problem.” EZ looked over at you for some confirmation and you couldn’t exactly escape this conversation now. You just gave him a smile.

EZ made his way over to where Coco, Gilly and Angel were sitting. His older brother looked at him as if he grew another head, pointing at you.

“The fuck are you doing?” Angel demanded, watching as Diego spoke to you.

“He asked to talk to her, he’s full patch Angel.” EZ explained, he knew the rules. As much as he wanted to stay, a patch asked him to walk away. There was hierarchy for a reason.

“Yeah, well he’s not your fucking sponsor. If I tell you to stay with her, you fucking stay with her.” Angel’s jaw clenched. Your conversation from a few days back was fresh in his mind. You texted him, but he was across the border dropping off Creeper after he was injured on a run.

Coco knew Diego. Both by association to the club and from what you told him. He was your confidant, the person you trusted with your secrets. Coco was the first person you befriended in the MC and you two remained close since then.

“Shit,” Coco stood up, thinking of a way to get you out of this conversation. He knew you could fight your own battles, but from what he understood, you had a weak spot for Diego, the man who basically used you to get into the good graces of the MC. “Boy Scout, tell Y/N I gotta talk to her.” If Diego had a problem with that, Coco would handle it then.

EZ and Angel, who were arguing about EZ’s duties looked over at Coco, who interrupted their bickering. “What?” They asked in unison.

“Just do as I say, go get her.” Coco would do it himself, but he didn’t trust himself to not give Diego a piece of his mind.

“Shit, is that him?” Gilly knew of Diego as well. Him and Coco came over one night and you three happened to get drunk. You told Gilly all about Diego and all about your crush on Angel. Gilly had a soft spot for you as well. The MC were tough bikers, but they were sweet guys, as long as you didn’t fuck with them.

“Yeah, that’s Diego.” Coco nodded his head. “Prospect, go get her.” He ordered EZ once again.

“What the fuck is going on?” Angel looked at his best friends, wondering what was going on. Who the fuck was this guy?

Gilly and Coco both ignored Angel, keeping their eye on you.

“How are you?” Diego wasn’t going to approach you. He would have done so the few times he had been down here with his charter, but Angel Reyes was always attached to you. He didn’t want any unwanted attention, so he didn’t pursue you. Also, he was certain that you weren’t exactly happy with him after everything that transpired.

“Good, you?” Diego still looked the same, maybe a little older, but he still looked like the same person you had fallen for all those years ago.

“Good, just the same old shit.” He grinned, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “Big move to Santo Padre. Doesn’t look like your scene.”

You nodded your head. “Time for a change of scenery. Besides I followed my mom here and she decided to move back.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen her a few times, she still gives me the death glare.” You two laughed at that, knowing well how that looked like. “I don’t blame her.” He bowed his head, looking at the dirt beneath his feet. Diego was thankful that the clubhouse was full of life.

You didn’t want to have this conversation, at least not a a fucking party.

“Don’t,” you shook your head, holding up your hand. “It’s fine. We’ve all moved on.”

“I haven’t, I hurt you. I’ll always be sorry for that.” Diego knew how it looked. He led you on, which he did for his own benefit. But he truly did cherish you. All that hardships you two had shared together wasn’t for nothing. “Can you just let me explain?” He appeared remorseful, but you couldn’t fall for this again, he always looked remorseful. Even when he tried to apologize for that incident with Regina.

“Some things are best left unsaid.” The last thing you wanted to do was talk about the past that you’ve tried so hard to bury. It didn’t seem like a big deal, but your life revolved around Diego for five years. After he got his patch, he didn’t exactly stop talking to you, he kept you around. You were his unofficial girl that never came into fruition. He would become jealous whenever another guy was around you. He would always reel you back in with sweet promises. To this day, you’re not sure why you let his sweet words get to you, but here you two were now.

“No, it’s not, I fucked up.” Diego tried to talk to you. Everything fell apart when he fell for another woman. You guys were never official and if he was honest, he felt like a dick for keeping you around. He knew that he would be favored since he was close to Alvarez and Bishop’s niece. Was he a bastard? Absolutely, especially when he realized just how much you did for him. “I hurt you, you didn’t deserve that.”

You are tapping your foot now. Anxiety coursing through your veins. You were not ready to have this conversation even though you thought yourself to have moved on.

“Diego, please, it’s okay. Let’s not open back up old wounds.” You couldn’t even look at him. You were awful at confrontations and you tried to look anywhere but him. Where were Coco and Gilly? Where was EZ? Hell where was Angel?

“Look, I get it, but I think it would be best for both of us to try and get closure. I can’t keep avoiding you and I don’t want you walking on eggshells around me. You were my best friend and I took advantage of that.”

“Will told me that she left you. Is that why you’re speaking to me now?” You hated Regina. She was the one who basically put you on blast over your “annoying obsession” with Diego. You felt like a fool, especially since Diego didn’t do anything but watch.

“You know that’s not it.” Diego said through gritted teeth forgetting how stubborn you could be. “That bitch has nothing to do with this.”

“She has everything to do with this.” You gnawed at your lip again, not liking the fact you said that. “Just please leave me alone, you’ve done a good job for three years, let’s just keep it that way.”

“You good sweetheart?” You heard Will Medina, the sergeant of arms at Stockton, asked from behind Diego. He was the only one who knew of your plight with Diego. Your tio’s former prospect who used to pick you up from school as one of his duties as a prospect. One of the hardest things to do was leave him, since he was like your pseudo older brother, but you had to go with your mother, just to get a chance of scenery. It was hard whenever you ran into Diego and Regina.

“Will,” you greeted him warmly. “Yeah, we’re good, right Diegito?”

“For now,” Diego decided to let you go. He’ll try again. He wanted you back in his life. You didn’t belong in Santo Padre. You belonged in Stockton, with your family, with him. He was a bastard, but he was going to make it up to you. This wasn’t about Regina, this wasn’t about the club, this was about you two.

Both men watched you walk into the clubhouse, not speaking till you were inside.

Medina shook his head, sighing at Diego. “She has a good life here Diegito, stay away. She’s happier here.”

“You know her, she’s good at masking her emotions.”

“And you think she’s hiding her unhappiness?”

“No, I just think she wants to come back home, but doesn’t want to because of Regina.”

“Whole world revolves around you, huh?” Medina knew that they may have been part of the reason why you didn’t want to come home, but he doubted that was the main reason.

“You know that’s not what I meant, but her mother couldn’t stand the heat, she won’t be able to do so either.” At least Diego hoped you couldn’t. He wanted you back in his life, and he would make sure of it.

“Who the fuck is that guy?” Angel was standing up now. He saw your foot tapping and he was going to make his way over to you, but he saw Medina approaching. You didn’t even look his way when you made your way inside the clubhouse.

“She really has never spoken to you about Diego?” Coco was surprised that Angel didn’t know about Diego. You were comfortable talking to him and Angel knew a few things, but you withheld a few things from Angel.

“Is that him?” He didn’t know who the fuck Diego was, but he would gladly beat his ass for you. The way your body language changed when EZ left you alone with Diego, it bothered Angel.

“Yeah, look, I don’t want to step on things. She obviously told me in confidence and Gilly since she was drunk. You can ask her about it.” Coco didn’t want your business out in the open like that. Diego was a big part of your life.

“Coco, you’re my best friend. You’ve known how I felt about her and she apparently confided in you that she likes me, why didn’t you tell me?” It was burned in Angel’s memory that Coco knew everything. He wondered why Coco never said anything to him. They were best friends, brothers.

“Because she was so afraid to tell you. I didn’t want to do it for her even if I knew how you felt about her. I encouraged her to tell you, but it’s due to her experience with Diego that she didn’t want to do it.”

“She liked him?”

“Fuck.” Coco closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He looked at the women around them. “Leave us.” They dispersed quickly, he didn’t need them gossiping about you. “Diego was her best friend, they became friends their senior year of high school. Once they graduated, Diego expressed his desire to prospect for the Mayans, but they didn’t take him. Using her connections, she somehow convinced Medina to sponsor him.” Coco lit up a cigarette and took a puff before continuing. “He treated her just like you did. He pretended to have feelings for her to keep her by his side even after he got his patch. A few years after he got his patch, a woman came and he fell for her. Bitch called Y/N out, saying that Diego will never have feelings for her and her obsession with Diego was annoying. He just watched as she berated her and after that, Y/N has stayed away from him. She was humiliated and broken apart since she thought Diego had feelings for her, but he didn’t.”

Angel sat back down then, upset at what he was hearing. Who the fuck did Diego think he was? He used you and couldn’t even defend you from a psychotic woman.

“How could Bishop and Alvarez let him patch?” Angel finally spoke up after a few minutes.

“Because she’s never told anyone. She cared about the guy regardless of his past indiscretions.” Gilly answered. “Fuck, I didn’t know all of that.”

“That’s why she thinks you’re just talking to her because of Bishop. That you were bestowed with the duty of being her bodyguard.” Gilly explained.

“I’m already a patch, and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t fucking use her to get my patch.” Angel fumed.

“Hermano, calmate, that’s not what I meant.” Coco shook his head. “She knows who she is and who she’s connected to. It’s just her thinking that you stayed around her because of orders from prez. She just has a hard time separating the two due to being burned before.”

Angel felt like an asshole now. What he’s been doing, it basically cemented your thoughts about the whole situation.

Angel was done with the games. He was going to show you that he was serious. Fuck Diego. He’ll show you how much you were worth it.

You were able to avoid Diego the rest of the night. You were also able to ignore Angel who for some reason decided he was going to talk to you now. The mixed signals and mood swings were too much. Thankfully he left early and you didn’t have to deal with him. He most likely brought a woman home, which you didn’t look forward to since he was your neighbor.

That’s right.

You lived right next to Angel.

It was opportunistic, but Angel had told Bishop that the apartment beside him was open. Better way for a Mayan to be close by to ensure your safety.

Opening the door, you almost had a heart attack when you found Angel waiting for you at your apartment.

“Fuck! Angel, what the hell is the matter with you?” You closed the door behind you, taking a deep breath to calm your heart rate.

“You wouldn’t talk to me, so I figured I’d wait here.” Angel was smoking, sitting on your couch in silence. He looked so damn good.

“Couldn’t you just have waited at your apartment?”

“Last time I waited at my apartment, I had to barge in here to make sure you weren’t going to fuck Damien.” You has dropped something, causing you to shriek. Angel thought you had come home with Damien, but in reality, you had been at your apartment the whole day and dropped a glass. Angel barged in anyway, looking around wildly to see if Damien was there. You haven’t exactly told anyone that Damien was no longer dating you.

“And as I’ve said before, I don’t know how that is any of your fucking business.” You’re not sure where this confidence came from, but it was here and you plan to utilize it.

“It is my fucking business, why wouldn’t it be?” Angel stood up, putting out his cigarette on the ashtray. “You doing okay?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” You walked past him, not wanting to be close to Angel right now. Taking off your jacket, Angel whistled at the shirt you were wearing, thankful you never took off your jacket.

“Who was that guy at the clubhouse?” Angel came in here with the intention of having you tell him about Diego. He didn’t want to throw Coco under the bus.

“None of your business.” The last thing you wanted was to talk to Angel about Diego. The man who you thought would end up like him.

“Come on querida, I didn’t come here to fight. I’ve missed you. Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an old friend from up north.” You gave him the cliff notes version of your relationship with Diego. This wasn’t Angel’s business anyway.

You went inside your room, closing the door hoping Angel would get the hint. You changed into some basketball shorts that you absolutely loved due to the comfort and a white shirt you had stolen from Angel during one of the times you slept over his home after a scary film, not wanting to be alone. Coming out of your room, you weren’t surprised that Angel was right outside of your door, what did surprise you was when he crashed his lips on yours, your eyes widening as he did. Before long, your eyes closed giving in to the kiss. How could you deny him? You’ve liked Angel for so long and now he was kissing you.

His hands slipped under your shirt, caressing your sides as he opened your mouth with his tongue. You sighed arching your back against him.

Pulling away from you, you two were breathing hard, his head resting on your forehead.

“I like you, Y/N.” He didn’t want to say the other L word yet, that might just scare you away. For now, he would settle with the word like.

“I like you too Angel.” You replied, kissing him one more time before pulling away.

“I know you’ve been burned before, but I won’t do that to you, I could never do that to you.” He began to walk as you walked backwards, your knees hit the edge of your bed causing you to sit down. “I want you, do you want me?”

Was this the right time to tell Angel you were still a virgin?

“Yes.”

Angel groaned, kissing you again as he laid you down on your bed. He hovered over you, making sure he didn’t put his weight on you. Pulling away, your lips chased after him making Angel chuckle.

“I’ve been dreaming about this mi dulce,” he moved your shirt up, well his shirt, shivers running up your spine. You’ve never gotten this far with anyone. You’ve kissed people, but nothing like this. “Your skin is so fucking soft.” He assisted you on taking off your shirt, your bra was a deep shade of purple. “Purple’s my new favorite color.”

You became nervous then when Angel caressed your breast, softly squeezing it causing you to moan. You’ve never felt that sensation before, everything was so new to you.

“Angel, before we go any further, I have to tell you something.” You placed your hand on top of his, stopping his sinful ministrations.

“What’s up baby?” Angel’s eyes were dilated, looking at you wish such desire.

“I’m a virgin.”

“You’re a what?” Angel gave you an incredulous look.

Before you could reply, there was a knock on your door. You two looked at one another, before you grabbed the shirt that Angel just discarded. You quickly made your way over to the door, embarrassed by Angel’s reaction. You were certain he would leave after that bombshell.

Reaching to open the door, Angel pulled you back against his front, “I got it.” He informed you as he moved you behind him. He opened the door and your breath hitched when you saw Diego on the other side.

Diego’s face went from worried to anger in less than two seconds after his eyes landed on Angel.

“What the fuck is this?” He demanded.

“Diego, can I help you?” Angel further blocked you from Diego’s view, putting himself between you and Diego.

“Yeah, I need to talk to Y/N.” Diego straightened his form, trying to assert some type of dominance. But it wasn’t working on Angel. “So if you don’t mind, you can leave her with me.”

“Don’t think that’s going to happen. She’s my girl, you expect me to leave you all alone with her?” Angel scoffed. “What business do you have with her?”

“Your girl? She wasn’t with you a few hours ago. If I remember correctly, you had a whore sitting on your lap for a major part of the night.” Diego smirked. He wasn’t sure why the fuck Angel was here, but he wasn’t leaving till you two spoke.

Angel smirked. “I suggest you walk away before we have a problem here.”

“We already have one.”

Next thing you knew, Angel punched Diego on the face, tackling him to the ground.

“Angel!” You yelled his name, trying to pull him away from Diego. “Stop it, come on, he’s not worth it.”

But he didn’t hear you. Angel continued to land shots on Diego’s face and body. But then Diego was able to hit Angel on his rib cage, knocking the air out of Angel. He turned them around, with Diego now landing the blows.

“Diego, please stop it!” You pleaded with him and tried to push him off Angel.

“Diego!” You heard Medina running towards you three, pulling off Diego from Angel. He came with Diego to assure that he could intervene when you became upset. He was smoking by his motorcycle when he heard the commotion.

Angel stood up, and was going to lunge for him again, but you wrapped your arms around him, trying your best to hold him back.

“Please stop, he’s not worth it.”

Angel and Diego glared at one another. Diego was bleeding profusely from his lips while Angel had some blood coming out of his as well. His ribs hurt the most, but he had too much adrenaline coursing through his body.

“Stay the fuck away from her.” Angel wanted one last time. Spitting out the blood that formed inside his mouth.

“Fuck you Reyes,” Diego snarled. “She can’t be yours when she’s always been mine!” Diego shouted back as Medina pulled him away.

Angel led you back in your apartment, closing the door and locking it. You looked at him as he leaned against the door.

“You didn’t have to hit him.” You crossed your arms across your chest.

“I know mi dulce, but he didn’t get the fucking hint.” Angel pushed off your door and walked over to you. “Why the fuck is Diego claiming you?” He knew what he was, but again he didn’t want to throw Coco under the bus. You walked away to the kitchen to get Angel a bag of frozen vegetables to put on his face.

You gnawed at your lip as you handed him the bag. You knew you could trust Angel, you just didn’t know what to say. He was definitely your best friend once upon a time, but he proved that wasn’t the case. “We went to high school together and became close during senior year. He wanted to prospect for the Mayans and was rejected so I convinced Will to sponsor him. He became a patched member and nothing really changed. I always thought he had feelings for me because he acted as if he was my boyfriend. I always reasoned that he was protecting me or that we didn’t need the labels.” You pursed your lips, your arms crossed once again, but it looked more to Angel that you were holding yourself together. “I, I felt foolish, especially when his girlfriend called me out. It was his birthday and I came to his apartment with cake and his gift. I got him this new riding sunglasses that he had been eyeing for months.” You smiled sadly, trying your best to keep your tears at bay. “She threw my cake to the ground and told me that they were together, she berated me about my obsession with him and how he didn’t feel the same. That he kept me around since I was connected to Mayans royalty.” You looked up at Angel, his heart broke as he saw just how much it hurt you. Even after all these years and he couldn’t blame you. “Five years, I waited on him hand and foot thinking we would be together at the end, but instead I was the dumbass. I couldn’t stay there, it was the reason my mom moved to Santo Padre. Sure, she wanted to be closer to Tio Bishop, but it was due to me.”

Angel watched as your shoulder shook, head towards the ground. How could he do that to you? Use you and throw you away like a piece of trash? His blood boiled just thinking about how heartbroken you must have been to have that happened. It made sense why you kept him at arm's length at the beginning. You were very nice and cordial, but whenever he would try to get to know you, you would just excuse yourself.

He walked over to you, lifting your face with his finger under your chin. “I would never do that to you. I get he hurt you and the mother fucker is going to pay. But you’re safe here with me. He’ll never be able to fool you again.” He wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry into his chest. Kissing the top of your head, he promised himself that he would do everything he could to make sure you never cried. The way his heart clenched as he just imagined you at Stockton, giving everything you had to a motherfucker who didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” you pulled away from Angel, wiping your eyes. “If you’re totally not interested in me anymore, I completely understand.” Who would want someone with baggage that involved one of his brothers? Though you were certain Angel never saw Diego in that way.

Angel rolled his eyes, cupping your face and forcing you to look at him. “Listen I’m fucking here to stay. I’m not Diego, and all you have to do is let me prove it to you. Querida, I like you, why won’t you let me take you out and show you a good time?” Angel wasn’t even sure when he’ll find the time with everything going on, but he’ll make time, for you he would.

“Okay.” You grinned.

=================

Medina pulled Diego to the side, shaking his head. “Haven’t you done enough damage?” He pushed Diego, smacking him upside the head. “We had a deal. I agreed to let you come if you stayed the fuck away from her.” Medina knew he should have never let Diego come. He was too persistent for him to not do anything.

“I have to get her back.” Diego spat out the blood in his mouth. “I know we had a deal, but when I saw her, I couldn’t help myself. I miss her.”

“I don’t give a fuck. You fucked up. Just because the pussy you gave her up for left you, doesn’t mean you should disrupt her life.” Medina has his hands on his hips, watching as Diego sat on the floor collecting his breath.

“I love her.”

“No you fucking don’t. You romanticized her because of her connection to Bishop and Padrino, but she’s more than that. She fucking did everything for you and what did you do? Break her fucking heart. You don’t love her, you just missed how she waited on you hand and foot.” Medina scoffed. “Stay the fuck away.” He warned. He never told Bishop or Padrino, but maybe it was time to do it now.

“I listened to you once and I’m not going to stay away. You can’t tell me how I feel about her. I know what I feel regardless of my past indiscretions.” Diego stood up then, spitting on the ground once more and dusting off his clothing.

“Angel would never let you near her.” Medina knew of Angel’s liking towards you due to Bishop. He kept him updated since Medina had been around you for years.

“He won’t always be with her, after all, I’m gonna be here for the next few months.” Diego smirked.

“What?” Medina was confused. What the fuck was he on?

“Santo Padre is down a man, they need someone to fill in, so I volunteered.”

“Diego, this is a bad fucking idea.”

“She was mine first and once I treat her like how she deserves to be treated, show her how much I love her, she’ll come back to me.”

Medina knew that wasn’t going to be the case.

Angel wouldn’t let that happen.

He had to make sure Angel wouldn’t let that happen.

#angelreyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic #mayans fanfic #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes x you #angel reyes

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 6 years

Text

BTS after a breakup

Hyung Line

Part 3 of 3: Reconciliation

Alternate Title: Fucking Finally

Alternate Title 2: Plot Twist, Yoongi is S O F T for Reader

Alternate Title 3: We Finally Find Out Why Any Bitch Would Break Up with J-Hope (It’s Anti-Climatic)

Warnings: A little angst, mild smut (I had to stop myself because look that’s not what this series is about), cursing, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mental illness tw,teeth-rotting fluff (Ya’ll just wait til I write the Maknae line and finally reward Tae for putting up with reader’s dumbass), Soft Yoongi, sweet Namjoon, Jin being cute af, Hobi gets his sunshine back

@toothpresent Here you go!

Word Count: 4,666

Namjoon (RM)

Namjoon tries so hard not to reach out to you other than that once a week

But honestly, after all the media pictures of you out with Hyunwoo and your phone conversation, he feels ten times worse

It isn't as if he's necessarily territorial but something about you being on dates makes this all seem way too real

He can't sleep that night for imagining all kinds of scenarios in which you get a new boyfriend and he's forced to just watch

Finally he gets kinda pissed off

It isn't fair that you were able to just fuck off when he was on tour and barely even talk to him

Thing is you and Hyunwoo are absolutely just friends

He's just a super sweet guy you know and he saw you at the supermarket and thought you looked sad so he took you for coffee to cheer you up

Literally that's it he texts you sometimes but it's totally platonic

Namjoon is thinking the worst imagining you having wild sex all over the hotel room you had gotten after you moved out

You'd given Namjoon the room number bc he claimed to want to bring a box of your things over

He shows up empty handed, looking painfully cute in a hoodie and jeans

He's biting the inside of his cheeks and anxious so you let him in

"I lied, there's no stuff. I just needed to see you."

His eyes are so soft when he looks down at you

He hasn't seen you in person since you left and his eyes are shining and wet

He's standing so close to you that you can smell his cologne and it's making you feel some type of way

Namjoon, never at a loss for words, seems like he wants to say something but he's quiet for a moment

"Joon?" You finally say because he's just staring at you

"I don't want to do this anymore,” he blurts out.

Before you can respond he finds his words and you can't help but smile at him pacing around the hotel room

"I don't wanna pretend to be noble and know you're doing the right thing for you by leaving. I don't want to stand by and watch you move on. I don't want to be apart from you anymore." He stops pacing and looks down at you again.

You sigh. "Joonie, nothing has changed. Nothing is different."

“You’re right. Nothing is different. You’re gone and I’m still doing everything I was doing but it all seems to mean absolutely nothing. I can’t celebrate success when I’m at home drinking two bottles of wine with dinner because I can’t stand being in our house without you. I can’t feel happy about anything, Jagi.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and it’s true. You thought things would be better if you weren’t there to be needy and want more time with him. You thought if you weren’t fighting over petty things he’d be happier and you would too

But you just miss him

“And now you have some new boyfriend and I’m just supposed to be fine with it? I’m supposed to just live my life? I’m supposed to just casually scroll past articles about you moving on and just go to fucking work like I don’t feel like I’m underwater and my lungs are burning?”

He’s breathing hard and he’s taken a few steps toward you, crowding you

“I just thought it was the right thing to do, that we should just move on. You can do this without me, Joon. You’re strong.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know I can do this without you? I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to do this without you, Jagi. I have been great about this. I have been a fucking saint, but I can’t sit there and just let you go without a fight.”

“So what do you want me to do, Joon?”

He sighs, exasperated. “It’s very simple. I just want you to come home.”

“But what about-”

He misunderstands what you’re about to say.

“I don’t even want to hear his name,” he growls, voice deep, eyes flashing. “I just want you to come home with me and we can forget any of this ever happened.”

You’re shaking your head. “That’s not what I want, Joon. If I were to come home, things would just go back to the way they were.”

He takes your shoulders in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “Jagi I promise you I will do absolutely everything I can to make things different. I’ll take more breaks, God knows I need them. I’ll fly you out with us when we’re on tour. I’ll buy you a fucking house in every city we go to if I have to.”

You look up at him, biting your lip, but you don’t speak.

He’s watching your mouth and when you don’t agree or disagree he makes a frustrated sound in his throat and leans down to kiss you

Namjoon talks a lot but at this point action is the only way he knows how to get his point across

His hands are all over you

He lies you down on the bed and makes love to you sweeter than he ever has before and when he moans in your ear instead of dirty talk it’s stuff like “I love you,” and “I missed you so much” and “you’re so beautiful” and “don’t ever leave me again, huh, Jagi?”

When it’s over you’re cuddled up with your head on his chest

“You know, Hyunwoo is just a friend. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Now you fucking do.”

You can’t help but laugh.

“So is it cool if I still go out to lunch with him sometimes?”

“I don’t know, Jagi. If I see another article with a headline like ‘RM’s Girl Snuggling up to Monsta X leader’ I might throw my laptop out a window.”

You laugh again and when you look at him and see his dimpled smile things seem brighter than they have in a long time

Jin

Jin is the most mess out of all four of the hyung line

After you said that mean shit to him outside the cafe at first he’s bent on revenge and he hangs out with every female friend he has where the reporters can snap pictures

He plans to be flirty and charming but he ends up just asking for advice about what to do about you

They actually give him lowkey good advice

Even the ones that are mad attracted to him (who isn’t) just listen and tell him what they think

Everyone wants Jin happy lbr

He’s just a sad pouty puppy and everyone wants the smile back on his face

The headline that catches your eye is “BTS Jin Seen Being Comforted by Unknown Female” and it’s a picture of Jin in a ball cap and face mask with his head in his hands and a girl with her hand on his shoulder

You’re not jealous, just kind of proud that he doesn’t seem to be flirting or out to get revenge

Jin sees it and groans

Even the reporters are against him (Jin, you idiot, they’re doing you a favor)

You still won’t talk to him, though, and he’s still watching your pictures on the media and you’re hanging out with Changkyun all the goddamn time and he’s sick of it

He wakes up one morning to see a pic of you on your snapchat from the night before at a club with Changkyun with his arms wrapped around your waist and you doing a kissy face at the camera

God he hates you sometimes but you’re so fucking cute

He’s just like. D O N E

He gets dressed, throwing on day old jeans and a white t-shirt and goes to your sister’s house

You hear him arguing with her as you come out of the bathroom

You were getting ready to go out but you haven’t had time to do your makeup yet before you hear his voice

Jin and your sister had been friends before you’d ever met him and he’s giving her hell about something

She had actually introduced you

“Damnit, if you don’t let me in I swear I’ll tell your husband about that guy who gave you a lapdance the night before your wedding-”

“Jin, you wouldn’t-”

You peer around the corner and he’s got his phone out, eyebrows raised

Jin:

Your sister sighs deeply and lets him in

“Asshole.”

“Bitch,” Jin says fondly, and pats her shoulder as he walks past, looking for you

Your sister gives you a pleading look and you smile at her to let her know it’s okay

His face softens when he sees you, freshly washed and bare faced and you look so good his heart aches

“Hey,” you say, not really knowing what else to say

“Hey,” he says back, uncharacteristically bashful

You let him in the guest room and he sits down on the bed, fiddling with his fingers

“So...what’s up?” You ask, waiting patiently for him to say something

“Not much...I just...wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“I feel like we said everything we needed to at the cafe, right?”

“I didn’t,” he protests, and he’s looking up at you with such a kicked puppy look that you can’t say anything cruel

“So? Spill.”

He takes a deep breath. “Look, y/n, I know things have been shitty lately.”

“Understatement.”

He nods in agreement. “And I...I was being an idiot when I called and accused you of seeing someone else.”

You nod. “Yeah. You were.”

He sets his jaw. “However, you are seeing him like every five minutes now, so I feel like I had a right to be worried.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Maybe. So?”

He makes an irritated clicking sound in the back of his throat and stands up, coming toward you

“So, I want you back home,” he says simply, searching your eyes

“Why? So you can leave me on tour and flirt with a hundred girls while I sit around and wait for you?”

“No! No. Sure, I flirt, it’s who I am. You’re a bigger flirt than I am!”

He’s right, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it

“Thing is, though, I tried to go out and flirt to spite you.”

“Oh, real mature.”

He hums an agreement. “Well, you said some cruel shit, y/n. It hurt.” He placed a hand over his heart and you’d think he was trying to be funny but there really is hurt in his dark eyes

“So how’d the flirting go? Make any progress?” You can’t help the bitterness in your voice

He shakes his head. “Absolutely none. Know why?”

You shake your head.

“Because I’m heartbroken.”

You scoff. “Jin, it’s not the time to be funny.”

“I’m not being funny! There’s nothing funny about this. I keep trying to play it off but sweetheart, I’m a mess.”

“You are?” You are hopeful, looking up and him, because God, you’ve been a mess too as much as you’ve managed to not look like it

“Huge mess. Huge. I’m just lying in bed all day fucking moping around. I’m not even wearing makeup lately all my fans are complaining.”

“No one is complaining, Jin.”

His lips perk up at one corner. “I know, I know. I was born this gorgeous.”

You roll your eyes but he’s getting closer to you and sliding his arm around your waist and God you missed this, your big handsome dork

“I’m sad. I’m sad all the time and I couldn’t even make bad jokes to charm my friends. My new nickname is ‘Sad Sack Hyung.’ It’s bad.

You laugh at him and he puts his hand on your face, smiling at you and he looks so soft

“God, I missed your laugh,” he says, peppering kisses on your jawline

You heave a deep sigh and your arms go around his neck slowly and he buries his face in your neck

“Can we be done with this? Can we just be done and go back home?”

You’re quiet for a moment.

“Maybe,” you say stubbornly and he hugs you tighter.

“Come on, Jagi. I’ll make food.”

“Bribing me with food?”

“It’s never steered me wrong before,” He’s murmuring against your neck and you are getting goosebumps

Your phone starts ringing on the dresser and you jump a little

You snake your hand out to look at it and Changkyun is calling since you’ve been going out for coffee once or twice a week

He just got cheated on by his long time girlfriend and you were really just drinking buddies, bitching about your exes

You’re all talk, you’re still crazy about Jin

Jin pulls away from you and frowns

“Don’t you dare answer it.”

You push him back and walk a few steps away, answering your phone and saying just a few short words to your friend

He knows instantly what’s going on after the cafe debacle

Jin crosses his arms, pouty

He’s S A L T Y

You hang up and turn back to Jin.

“So what are you going to make me?”

His face brightens a little but he doesn’t uncross his arms. “Was that him?”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, you know.”

“I don’t get jealous. I’m just curious,” he grumbles

“Sure, sure.”

His eyes shoot to yours and he’s serious all of a sudden

“So like, we’re back together, right?’

You smile at him. “I guess so.”

“Okay. Delete his number. Right now. I wanna see you do it.”

You burst out laughing and he doesn’t think it’s funny

All the way back to the house you’ve shared for two years he’s bitchy and grumbling

He’s like madder and madder because you just keep laughing at him

When you walk in the door he kind of slams it open and you just walk past him, shaking your head and putting your things down

“I’m serious! I don’t want you seeing him anymore. I can’t deal with you hanging out with some guy you used to fuck, Jagi-”

You cut him off by throwing your arms around him and kissing him, hard, and he moans into your mouth and melts into you

He pulls away first. “Don’t distract me. I’m mad at you,” but he’s smirking at you

“I didn’t fuck anybody, dumbass. He’s just a friend.”

“What?” He’s incredulous. “You really made me think you were fucking someone else all this time? I wasted so much time freaking out! We really just could’ve been back together all this time?” He’s going on a whole rant and you’re just giggling at him

“I’m sorry. I thought you really were with that girl, and I just...I wanted to get you back. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt.”

“You fucking succeeded,” he said, voice low, and you can tell he actually is mad

His arms are still loose around you and you drag your nails across his bare forearms and kiss his neck

When he shivers you know he’s done for

You don’t quite make it to the bedroom upstairs and he fucks you midway up the stairs with your legs around his shoulders

It’s hot but it’s sweet he’s saying all the right things about how it’s only ever been you, you’re the love of his life

You’re both hangry by the time you get through and you end up ordering takeout and watching Netflix with your legs in his lap, him trailing his fingers up and down your thighs

It’s like it never happened, and sure you’re both insecure, jealous morons, but you’ll make it work

Yoongi (Suga)

Yoongi has a lot of pride and it’s tough for him to express how he feels to you

This is something you’ve always known and dealt with and you’ve been a fucking saint about it, in your opinion

So when he went full caveman mode at your friend’s house, you were d o n e

Not that it mattered, you knew he’d avoid you like the plague after an outburst like that

You were actually 100% dead wrong because like 4 hours later he’s blowing up your phone with text messages

At first it’s casual just like “hey”

When you don’t respond in five minutes it’s “you really dating that guy”

Then an hour later it’s “I’m sorry” and that’s when you know he’s probably super drunk

He’s not real big on apologies, your man

You hear your best friend cooing over Chanyeol’s swollen nose in the other room and you wince a little

This is a whole mess

But he’s texting you more than he has in like the last six months so you can’t help but respond

“where are you?”

“home. u coming?”

You don’t answer and when you knock on the door (which feels weird, since it’s been your house for like 2 years) he just yells for you to come in

He’s sitting in the dark on the couch like a psychopath

Like no lights on but the dim light of his laptop sitting by him on the couch

When you walk over warily he kind of jerks out and grabs your hand and pulls you down onto his lap and you let out a little scream

“You’re not scared of me, are you, baby?” He asks against your neck, pulling you close to him, and his voice is low and miserable

You let yourself relax a little in his arms. He smells like beer and cigarettes but it’s still so familiar

“Of course not, Yoongi.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your throat, nuzzling you there, and he’s been so rarely affectionate in these past few months that you are shocked but grateful

You try to pull away to look at him but he won’t let you

“I’m just trying to talk to you, Yoongi, let me go.”

“No,” he says stubbornly, tightening his arms around your waist

You finally wriggle out of his grasp enough to pivot on his lap to see his face and he’s been crying and it makes you s o f t

You’ve always known that Yoongi loves you, he shows it with little actions and words but God knows you’re starving to know he cares in the last few months

You barely talked to him even when he was on tour, and you know that stress makes him distant but you were just aching for something just like this, just for him to give a shit after you left

He sniffs and jerks his chin up at you

“Did I break his nose?” he asks, voice petty

You take in a deep breath. “No, but it was a near thing. You’re such a jerk.”

He shrugs. “I am sorry about the flowers.”

“Yeah, me too, they were a bitch to clean up.”

“I mean, I’m sorry about the note.”

“You mean, calling me a brat?”

He frowned. “No. You are a brat.”

You hit his shoulder with the heel of your hand

“I just mean it didn’t say what I really meant.”

“Which is?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Yoongi, if you don’t, I’m gonna walk out of here.”

He takes in a deep breath and hugs you tighter to him, resting his chin on your shoulder

“You’re a brat but I want you to be my brat.”

“Oh yeah?” Your voice is soft. You’re soft for him, you can’t help it

He nods against your shoulder, chuckling when you squeal because it tickles

“I guess I like you.”

“Lots of people like me. Chanyeol likes me,” you tease, and you squeal again when he growls and bites your shoulder gently

“I’m in love with you, brat.”

You:

He says “I love you” all the time but for some reason the “in love” thing just really gets you in your feelings

You’re quiet for a moment, being emo

“So are you coming back home, now?”

When you don’t answer right away he hugs you tighter

“Please?”

You:

You twist your head around to kiss him and when you pull away he’s all smiles

“We can get my stuff from y/bf/n’s later. You can apologize to poor Chanyeol.”

He scoffs. “Why would he be there? Waiting around on you?”

“No, you moron, because he’s her boyfriend. He fucking lives there.”

You laugh at the look on his face and he scrunches his nose at you flips you onto your back on the couch, touching his nose to yours

“You really are a brat for not just telling me that!”

You shrug. “Maybe you deserved it.”

“I almost had a heart attack worried about you with someone else. You’re a jerk. I don’t like you anymore.” He’s grumbling but he’s still smiling, giving you eskimo kisses, and you L O V E it

“Yeah, but you’re in love with me.” You’re grinning ear to ear.

“Yeah, whatever, brat.”

He kisses you senseless for hours, just making out and for the next few days he’s never not touching you, even holding your hand while he works on his laptop or rubbing your thigh when he’s eating dinner

He’s a grumpy jerk sometimes but you’re so fucking in love with him and now that you’re sure he feels the same way even though you’re an annoying brat life might just be perfect

Hoseok (J-Hope)

You come to him, because he’s given you time and space and you feel like he at least deserves an explanation

It’s been a full week since you’ve left

When he hears the key in the door he’s like a puppy, bouncing around as you come in the door, and before you can put your luggage down his arms are tight around you

Visual representation of Hobi as you come in:

You can't help but smile

He can almost always make you smile

“Baby, my bags-” you choke out, arms shaking at holding all your stuff because he’s got his arms under your elbows, hugging you

“Oh! I’m sorry, sunshine!” He takes your bags and throws them down unceremoniously

He’s grinning a mile wide

“You’re home!”

You smile weakly. “I was hoping it’d be okay if I could stay here for a little while.”

His face falls. “Sunshine, this is your home. Our home.”

You fiddle with the plastic bracelet on your wrist and Hobi’s not normally super observant but he notices. He grabs your wrist and gives you a confused look

“Sunshine, are you sick? What is going on? Will you please talk to me?”

He’s talking so fast, rapid fire questions, and you feel a little overwhelmed

“Can we sit down?”

He ushers you to the couch, hovering over you as if he wants to touch you but isn’t sure if he should

You sit down and he’s looking at you, worried and expectant

“I’ve been having some...issues lately.”

“Jin told me that you called him about it. Why didn’t you tell me, sunshine?”

You sniffle, tears burning at the back of you eyes

“I was just...I was so sad all the time. For no reason. Of course I missed you, but that was nothing new. I always miss you when you’re away. I went to see someone...I had kind of a...breakdown.”

“Sunshine-” His voice is so soft, in a whisper, brows furrowed

“I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. I was...suicidal. I had all these thoughts, these horrible thoughts about how you’d be better off without me, everyone would, I was just a burden and bringing you down.”

He’s shaking his head vigorously but for once, he’s speechless.

“I stayed for a week and got the right meds. I know that a chronic illness is something that’s really hard to deal with, and I just don’t want to burden you with that. I know how important your music is to you and I just...I wanted to leave before things got bad.”

You’re crying in earnest now and he slides closer to you, gently taking your hand and you look at him. Tears are streaking down his cheeks

“Sunshine....I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that I just...I couldn’t tell you.”

“I’m just so sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me that. I must be the world’s worst boyfriend for you to be suffering so much...” He’s crying so hard that he’s shaking and you squeeze his hand.

“You’re so perfect, baby. Just so happy and perky and I knew that this would be so hard for you. I just want you to be happy and I know that I can’t do that for you anymore. I couldn’t tell you how weak I was.”

“Weak?” He looks almost mad. “Weak? You’re the strongest person I know. You light up everything. Everything. You were suffering so much and you managed to keep it together, to get yourself help - that’s the strongest thing I can think of.”

“I just couldn’t imagine that you’d want me like this.”

He is mad, now, you can see it spread all over his face and he takes your cheeks in his and forces you to look right at him

“Sunshine I’d want you anyway I could have you, but this only makes me want you more. I am so sorry that you’ve had to do this alone and I swear to you that if you let me, I’ll do better. I’ll be here for you. I’ll take more breaks and I’ll call you every single day. I’ll make you trust me.”

Your heart is so full you think you might die

He is perfect, he calls you sunshine but really he’s yours, he’s lighting up all the dark parts of you now that you’re not hiding them from him

You jump at him, straddling his hips and hugging him as tight as you can

“I do trust you, baby. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I’m like this.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he breathes into you neck. “You did what you needed to do and I promise to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

You cry for a while, huddled in his arms and he just hums against your neck, soothing you by stroking your hair, and when you pull away you’re smiling

“I missed your smile, sunshine,” he says, and you kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until your lips are swollen

You spend all night talking and he touches you so gently, almost reverently

Things are hard for a while, he treats you like fine china, like you might fall apart at any second

He doesn’t even ask you about Jackson but he gets this anxious look in his eye when Jackson calls or texts you

You notice and explain to him that nothing is going on

He tells you it’s not like he’s jealous, he just feels awful that you had to turn to someone that wasn’t him during a hard time

You prove to him that was your decision and your insecurities, and after time, he doesn’t even blink when you say you’re going out to lunch with your ex

He keeps his word and talks to you every day, even when he’s thousands of miles away

You call him when you’re having a bad day, break down and cry and tell him all the awful things you’re thinking

He listens to you, soothes you, distracts you by asking you to help him with song lyrics

He writes a song called “Sunshine” and never releases it, only does it for you, sends you a video of it when he thinks you might feel down

He’s absolutely perfect

He’s everything you need and he accepts you, flaws and all, and you’re the luckiest girl in the world

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

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MAY PICKS!

WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER MONTH OF TV/MOVIE WATCHING!

Does it feel like it was just April or that it can’t even be May and yet it is coming to an end? I get it. Quarantine is doing weird things to my head and I can’t believe how far in the year it’s been. Looking back on my picks for this month I noticed that I have seemed to escape the world through historical period shows or movies. But that isn’t the entire bulk of the month (just half of it). Without further ado, here we go!

As always..spoilers....

THE HALF OF IT

This Netflix original movie was an early watch for me during this month and it came at the right time. I was looking for a movie, rather than a TV show, and something that was contemporary and not overly serious (although, there are serious themes in this film). As it repeatedly says, “it’s not a romance” yet it has that YA/teen romance feel. (Yes, I used YA/teen in the same description.) I really loved the Elle Chu and Paul Munsky friendship. While watching the trailer, I could tell this film would be highlighting a healthy friendship as its focal point and how your other half doesn’t have to be a romantic soulmate. A lot of times, these kinds of stories can seem very repetitive, but with the new plot of Elle and Paul in love with the same girl we encounter a new kind of obstacle. I think the resolution was pretty solid for both plot lines and I liked the train scene at the end. Certain shots felt long at times. There were lots of pauses, which I didn’t 100% like. Also, the awkwardness could feel pretty cringey. Overall, it is definitely worth the watch. I liked it and would watch it again. Paul might be one of my heartthrobs of 2020. I’m always a sucker for a sweet jock with a heart of gold.

THE OFFICE LADIES

Yes, I know I’m late to the show as this podcast started last year, but better late than never and what better time than quarantine. Plus, I don’t have to wait each week for a new episode (even though know I’m catching up, so eventually...) At first, I was worried when I would have time because of not spending as much time in the car for commuting, but I found it’s really soothing to listen to as I’m cleaning. It feels like I’m in the room with Angela and Jenna and we’re all BFFs. I love how they’re best friends in real life and how close they are. They give the trivia you really can only get from two people who were on the show. They also have several guest stars from actors on the show to writers, directors and producers. One of my most recent listens had Creed Bratton in the studio with them and they talked about the Halloween episode. It was great. Listening to their podcast is really making me want to rewatch the series for the 100th time. As an uber fan, I already get all of their references, but with the new Easter eggs I can’t wait to go back and see them.

STAR WARS RISE OF SKYWALKER

Not just in honor of May the 4th, but to finish up the Star Wars watch through that I was taking with my sister. I hadn’t seen it yet and while not a die heart fan, I still wanted to see the conclusion. I liked the Force Awakens a lot, but felt eh about Last Jedi. In ways this one kind of felt like a stand alone. It had a different vibe compared to the previous two. After watching I heard there was a different director for all three movies, so that makes sense-I guess. (It’s weird they wouldn’t have kept at least one to do two of them.) It also had a kind of fan fiction feel. SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! Bringing Palpatine back reminded me of Lord Voldemort having a kid in Cursed Child. BACK FROM SPOILERS! I’m happy that Rey’s parentage/lineage was revealed because it was such a major point in this series. I loved the Rey/Finn/Poe relationship. It was great to see them in the same story line and reminded me of the original three: Luke/Han/Leia. Leia :( It was so sad, but I always knew it had to happen, due to Carrie Fischer. It didn’t make it any easier to watch. MORE SPOILERSSSSS! I knew Kylo would turn back. It was nice to see that his mom was able to spark that. I did like his fight scene. I just didn’t love the connection him and Rey have/had. LOVED the ending. I’m cool with her taking the Skywalker name and the suns shot with the force them at the end had me screaming.

OPHELIA

From one Daisy Ridley film to another. This movie just recently got added to my list when I was channel surfing. I vaguely remembered it being advertised, but it felt like a while ago. I’m a sucker for a re-telling, so I was immediately intrigued to watch it. This film was adapted from a novel by the same name. It follows Ophelia from Shakespeare’s Hamlet and gives her more of a story and character development. If you are familiar with the original, you know that Ophelia is only briefly mentioned and her character’s motives are really driven by her love for Hamlet. Even her famous death scene is very ambiguous. When this film begins, a voice-over narration by Ridley immediately brings us to her death scene and tells the audience “that there is more to the story than we think we know.” I really loved the twist and re-invention of this story through her point of view. I think Daisy Ridley was fantastic in the role. I haven’t seen her in a lot of other things, so it was great to see her here in a completely different role from Star Wars. The re-telling is very creative and very feminist. You get to see how Hamlet and Ophelia meet and then see him off to school. With this addition you can really get behind this relationship and see the mutual attraction and feelings between them. When relating back to the original, I like how they cut out scenes that Ophelia was not physically apart of and instead rely the events that happened. (Specifically with Polonius’ death.) I also enjoyed the new perspective of scenes. You really can tell that Ophelia is not mad, but it is the mask she must put on to survive. The ‘get thee to a nunnery’ scene takes on a whole different meaning now. There’s also a lot echoes to other Shakespearean plays and tropes which were fun to explore. Whether you’re a Shakespeare/Hamlet fan or not, I would definitely check this one out if you’re a fan of the time period, re-tellings or a strong female lead.

MEDICI THE MAGNIFICENT SEASON 3

I literally just finished this show this afternoon and I couldn’t wait to write about it. (Sorry if this post is pretty long, but that just shows you that you need to watch it.) I was very excited for the third and final season of Medici because I enjoyed season 2, so much. While this one might have taken me a little longer to watch, it was still a good time and I’m sad it’s over.

Watching this season I was super impressed by Daniel Sharman’s acting. He has great range as he goes from a young Lorenzo in season 2 to an adult and father and then an elderly man. I think he was convincing throughout each stage and I’m happy they kept the same actor. His make-up to help him age looked a lot more natural, compared to Richard Madden’s, in my opinion. I feel on shows like this it’s often hard seeing a jump in time (it helps with seeing the kids grow up), so when Lorenzo starts to get sick/age I at first, was like whoa, but then it was further explained (by inheriting his father’s illness, etc.)

Compared to season 2, I definitely liked the previous more. I not only enjoyed watching the more idealistic Lorenzo, but also plot-wise. In season 2 the Pazzi are the main antagonist/objective. Here in season 3 there were several obstacles/antagonists: The Pope, Riario, and Savonarola. Every time we thought there was a moment of peace...nope. Now, I get this is based on history and we need drama so you can only change so much, but I missed the Medici being at the top and being respected. I also know we covered A LOT of time. (I guess that shows you how connected I felt with them and the show.)

All of the history Easter Eggs were cool. Obviously, the Renaissance was extremely relevant, but it was cool seeing the big names like Botticelli (especially with his painting at the end, which I recognized), Da Vinci, and Michelangelo. I can’t get over how many of these famous painters were recognized by the Medici family. It just shows you how important and influential they were. Also, when Nico revealed his last name as Machiavelli. JAW DROP! This show has continually brought me back to researching (and mainly using Wikipedia). The writing at the end was accurate to what I found. Wish we had another season with the legacy to see it continue. I’m surprised I got teary eyed at the end.

WORLD ON FIRE

It may be listed last once again, this month, but it is definitely not least. The show may have finished its season a few weeks ago, but I still have two episodes left on my DVR. The last one I watched was when they were in Dunkirk and that was an intense time. I knew it was going to be, but it still didn’t prepare me. In this episode, we see many characters FINALLY meet up and join each other’s plot lines. I think that was one of my favorite parts of the episode/series. Some already knew each other, while others were meeting for the first time. While I am excited to see how it all turns out, I’m also not ready to say good-bye. Right now, I saw a potential for a season 2, but not sure if that was a fan made article or not. I’m hoping all of my favorite characters survive and get what can be considered a happier ending than what they are currently experiencing. I also hope we don’t end on too much of a cliffhanger. Either way, I’m happy I checked this show out.

RE-WATCHING

iZOMBIE

Currently I’m in the beginning of the second season. Sometime last month I felt the pull to start re-watching this show. It’s one that I have tried once or twice to watch again from the beginning, but now that it’s been finished for almost a year, it felt like time. It was a great decision, although right now there’s some character plots that are frustrating me and that I forgot about. But there’s some great brains that Liv has experienced and it was great seeing Lowell again (for as short-lived as it was). I’m excited to continue re-watching.

I DIDN’T DO IT

The re-watch for I Didn’t Do It basically began when it hit Disney Plus a few months ago. I just recently made it to season 2, which I remember enjoying more than season 1. One reason for this was because they get rid of the flashback format for each episode. I’m really early on, like episode 4, so I still have many more to go. Once I finish it I don’t know if I’ll explore a new Disney Plus show or watch another that I’ve seen before.

I also have a few things on DVR that I’m still finishing up. I haven’t watched the finale of Batwoman yet and I know it’s going to be weird now that Ruby Rose has left the show. I just finished the Flash and felt blah about the whole season, so I’m unsure if I’ll watch next season. But I am enjoying Stargirl. You can find my thoughts on the first episode here. I’m excited to see the rest of the season.

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allthings-sandy · 6 years

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Just a little more(one-shot)

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: bad fluff, lil bit of language

If there are any fanfics out there similar to this, it is purely coincidental :)

MASTERLIST

' Y/N! Aren't you supposed to be on your date??' Peter asked, his brown eyes wide in surprise. You could tell May wasn't home as he was shirtless which made your heart skip a beat. His hair was tousled which made it even worse. He looked hot. Like REALLY hot. You were gawking at him until you remembered you were supposed to answer him.

' Hey Peter.' You awkwardly waved.' Yeah I-um-I left before he came so yeah.' You said and shrugged. Peter looked at the clock on the wall. You were supposed to meet your date 2 hours ago. ' You got stood up?' He said in a shocked yet angry tone and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was mad. Furious in fact. How could anyone stand you up? You were such an amazing girl, anyone would be lucky to have you or even go on a date with you. He was angry but he was relieved as well. He gestured for Y/N to come in which earned him a 'thanks'.

' Sure you could say that. I got stood up. By a guy who I thought had a thing for me. So that's that.' You said in a matter-of-fact tone as you plopped onto the couch in the living room. You weren't really into the guy. You met him in the library a couple of times and talked outside of class a few times. He was a really nice and kind of handsome guy. He asked you out in the library and the only reason you agreed to go on a date with him was to get rid of the amorous feelings you had for Peter. For the past few weeks various thoughts had been floating in your mind. "Peter is your best friend!" "You can't fall in love with him!" It'll ruin the friendship you built together. Friendship is a bridge. You and Peter built that bridge together, day by day. You cross that bridge and it's going to collapse right under your feet. But if that bridge was built on to make it stronger, you could cross it no problem and Peter will accept and love you. That bridge was probably 40% done.' Where's May?' You asked him.' She's out on a vacation with her friends remember?.' He replied. Peter went to his room and came out wearing his Spider-Man outfit which caused you to raise an eyebrow.

' Why are you wearing your suit Peter?' You asked him. ' Do you know where he lives?' Peter asked with a determined look on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him.' Peter, what are you going to do?' You asked him though you already had an idea. ' Don't worry, I'm just going to find him talk to him and kick his ass. It'll be fine.' He said and put on his mask, ready to jump out the nearest window. Before he could jump out, you stopped him by holding onto his arm.' Stop! You don't have to do that, Peter. It's really sweet of you but it's fine. Really.' You tried to convince him. Nothing was fine. You just got stood up. You didn't like him but even so, you felt hurt. All you want right now was for Peter to comfort you. You know you said you can't fall in love with your best friend and you're contradicting yourself. But it's kind of impossible at this point. You are totally and utterly infatuated with him.

Peter looked at you with nothing but concern in his eyes.' Okay fine.' He said and took his mask off.' But when I see him, I'm going to kill him and you can't stop me.' He said and went back to his room.' The next time you see him, you'll just be Peter Parker not Spider-Man. You can't beat the crap outta him that way.' You shouted. Without his suit, Peter was just Peter ; a smart dude who spends his time watching Star Wars and building lego models of the Death Star and an X-Wing Fighter. That was who everyone knew him as. Sometimes you wished people knew him for who he really was. Well, all of the above and somemore quirks.

' Then maybe I'll just put a stink bomb in his locker or something. He won't know it was me!' He came out of his room wearing his clothes before and sat beside me. ' I bet you haven't eaten anything. Pepperoni pizza?' Peter asked as he held his phone up.' You know me too well, Parker.'

Peter lent you his shirt and sweatpants to change into. He could have lent you Aunt May's clothes but he wanted to see you in his instead. By the time the pizza arrived, you and Peter had already sunken in the couch, neither of you willing to move to get the pizza. After losing a game of rock, paper, scissors, you reluctantly made your way to the door to get the pizza. This was kind of like a date- if you consider being sprawled on the couch and eating pizza while watching Harry Potter. After finishing the pizza, you and Peter cuddled up blindly, your head resting on his broad shoulder with your legs dangling from his. His hand found his way to your knee, holding it in a somewhat intimate manner. You guys were comfortable. Too comfortable in fact. You felt vulnerable. Anything could happen then and there but you didn't care. When the movie credits rolled, Peter turned the television off.

' What time is it?' You asked as you stretched your arms and legs.' 12.43a.m.' He replied. With much reluctancy, you said,' Its really late. I should get going.' You said, picking yourself up from the couch. Peter latched his hand onto yours.' I-um- already called your parents and they said it was okay to stay here for the night. I mean if you want to you can, not that I don't want you here but I don't want to force you so...' He looked up at me as he blabbered on.' If I'm not mistaken, it's as if you want me to stay the night so you could make a move or something.' You said without thinking. You realised what you said.' N-not that you would, I mean that would be ridiculous.' You quickly said. Peter tightened his grip on your hand and you felt a current coursing through your veins. He stood up, his face soon entering your vision. He wanted to look at you. To look into your Y/E/C eyes that always mesmerized him.

' What if I do? Make a move that is.' Peter said, the words coming out like a whisper. Peter was dangerously close. You resisted the urge to kiss him. Instead you managed to say,' I know I wouldn't pull away.' Peter bent down a little, his nose touching yours. When your lips finally met, it was electric. It was gentle yet passionate. It was perfect. Your lips moved in sync with each other, your hand was at the back of his head and his hands were wrapped around your waist, both of you pulling each other closer. He licked your bottom lip, making you open your mouth a little wider for his tongue to gain access. You took the initiative to push Peter on the couch. You took your spot on his lap and continued kissing him. Normally you wouldn't do that kind of thing but it makes you realize that you wanted this for a long time. Peter was just as eager as his hand were now roaming your back, tugging on the clasp of your bra. You came to your senses and pulled away.

' We're going just a little too fast, Peter.' You said in between breaths. He took his hands off your back and cupped your cheeks, pulling you in to give you one last kiss.' It was to compensate for lost time. Y/N, we've been friends for a long time now. I can't remember a day that I didn't find you charming.' He said. He took you hands in his and continued,' You can't imagine how many times I pictured this scene between us. And now I can't believe it actually happened.' He looked at you, eyes filled with compassion.

' Oh Peter...' you said and hugged him tightly which he instantly accepted.' You are literally the sweetest person alive. And that is why I like you.' You broke away and looked at him and smiled. He looked down and smiled.' So like do you want to continue or...?' Peter asked which earned him a smack in the arm. You got off his lap.' Did you not listen to what I just said?' I asked, flattered that he wanted to continue.' Alright, let's just watch another movie.' He put his hands up in surrender.

' And while we do that, we can cuddle.' You said and wrapped your arms around his neck.' Yes, cuddling is a must.' He said, returning the hug.

Looks like your bridge was sturdy. The night ended with you falling asleep in his arms.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker #avengers #spiderman #tom holland #tom holland imagine #avenger x reader #avengers imagine #oneshot

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velvetfxexo · 7 years

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The Star & His First Love (pt 7)

Characters: EXO D.O./Kyungsoo + OC

Type: Fluff, a bit of angst

Length: 7.2k

Warning: Slight mention of accidents

Whenever EXO goes on interviews and is asked about love, Doh Kyungsoo always gives the same, short, and vague answer. He only fell in love once, and he got rejected. Nothing more, nothing less.

Years later, he meets his first love, again.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 {Part 7} Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 7 - Sorry, Secrets, Soon

It was like opening your eyes and seeing the early morning light. You knew it was coming, like it always does everyday, you just weren’t sure what time you’d wake up.

It was like falling into the ocean and finally meeting the cool, harsh waves after walking around the beach all day. It was within your reach, you just didn’t want to jump in just yet.

It was like finding the light switch after fumbling in the dark for far too long. You knew it was somewhere there, you just had trouble finding it is all.

Gaining back my memories of Kyungsoo felt the same.

They were just there, tickling at the back of my mind. I knew he was always there, and it only needed some time for him to come knocking again. Maybe it was the trauma, or the pain that came with the memories that took me so long to open the door. Maybe I was also just scared to find out about everything. Maybe I was terrified that I hurt him. Even when the memories were all scattered, I always remembered the feeling. I did like him, I liked him very much.

Whenever I saw him on tv, on the internet, or even in print ads and billboards, it felt like my heart was being squeezed. That’s him, the guy I used to like. But he’s famous now, and he didn’t contact me anymore. It was hard not remembering what happened during the past 3 years. Did I reject him? Did he reject me? Did I hurt him? I decided to think for myself that we simply just went on our separate ways.

But with all the memories of Kyungsoo that came flooding back, also came the memories of the accident that happened 3 years ago.

The accident that started all of this.

The accident that made me forget Kyungsoo.

All those missing memories came back slowly during the time I was resting in the hospital. It wasn’t overwhelming like the time when I was at our old school, when I suddenly felt dizzy and had the splitting headache that caused me to faint, be locked in the campus at night, have a sudden phobia attack, and get a bad case of the flu afterwards. I can’t believe I was bed-ridden for a week after that.

Everything about that day was a disaster. I could chalk that moment up as one of the worst and unluckiest days of my life. But apparently, it wasn’t the worst, because nothing could top the accident.

Clara had lied when she said I slipped, fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head hard. I knew something was fishy about that, and every time I mentioned it, she seemed much too eager to change the topic. Now that I think about it, they’ve avoided talking about that topic with me for several times already. I’m not even mad or irritated, because I knew they were just worried.

Clara and Dr. Stiles were apparently watching me over the years because I was still in danger of having an internal bleeding in my brain. Which happened for the first time during the accident.

I also found out that Clara was worried sick the day I fainted at our campus – she thought I had internal bleeding again because I had the symptoms, but thankfully it was a false alarm. She was so happy when I was brought to the hospital that day and they found out I only had the flu and was over-fatigue. She was so relieved that she cried again.

Right now, Clara and I will be meeting up at my breakfast bar, so we could catch up some more and that everything can be clarified. We’ve talked a few times over the phone after I got out of the hospital, but we didn’t get to meet up since I had some conferences to attend to and Clara was booked the past weeks. I’ve managed to put up most of the pieces of my memories together during the time I was recovering, and I only have a few more questions left. Mostly they were about Kyungsoo, but he can’t meet up with us today.

Kyungsoo. I wonder how he is now?

At first I thought I was an absolute mess, but right now I can’t imagine what Kyungsoo’s going through, especially with EXO. Apparently, a rumor was spread about Kyungsoo going out in public and meeting up with someone at a hospital for lots of times this month. I realized that the first one was the day when I fainted during our high school get-together, and the second one was when I fainted at our school. But I found out from Clara that the actual first time was 3 years ago during the accident, and Clara herself got dragged into that mess as well. I’ll have to ask about that later.

But that didn’t stop Kyungsoo from visiting me during the second time, the one where I was hospitalized after getting locked in the school. He came by about three times more because he promised. But he had his manager with him and another one of his members - his name was Junmyeon, I think. He and their manager always stayed at the far end of my hospital room, always politely giving space for Kyungsoo and me to talk. Kyungsoo explained that he might not be able to visit because of his schedule, which of course I understood and told him not to worry about it. I didn’t know at that time that there were already rumors, and that his company was probably stopping him from visiting me. Clara said his hospital rumor died down for a bit, because they saw that Junmyeon and their manager came with him during the next visits. People ended up deducing that maybe Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were visiting an old friend or something.

We thought that was over, but another big news about EXO came to light. Out of the frying pan, and into the fire. The thing now with Kyungsoo and his group is that another one of their members is leaving. I’m not that updated with these kinds of events, but Clara told me that it’s already the third member that’s left in two years. They’ve only gotten famous recently, they have a big fanbase now, so they’re the hottest topic everywhere. Clara said the issues are not good and there’s negativity everywhere. I’m not sure how Kyungsoo is holding up, and I’m really worried. At first I didn’t know if I should contact him or not, because I don’t know what stage we are right now, or if we’re even at that stage. I feel bad that I was the reason he got tangled up in those small rumors. I’m walking on thin ice right now, not sure if I should take another step or back. Either way seems risky.

My anxiety got the best out of me, so I tried calling him, but his number can’t be reached. Clara also can’t reach him, and we’re not sure why. At first I was so paranoid, thinking that he’s trying to avoid me or that he hates me now because I caused the rumors again. Clara kept telling me that Kyungsoo wouldn’t hate me at all because he cares for me more than I know, but it still didn’t soothe my worries at all.

But the next day, a delivery was made to my apartment. It was a simple, white pot with soil and small blue flowers planted in it. There was a pale blue ribbon tied around it and a small note, with only the word soon written on it. My first thought was Kyungsoo. Did he send these? If he still remembers, I said back in high school that I didn’t like receiving bouquets of flowers because I feel bad when they wilt and die. I took a photo of the flower pot and sent it to Clara, who immediately replied.

Clara: So is this from D.O.?

Me: Maybe? I don’t like to get ahead of myself, but I can’t think of anybody else

Clara: HAHAHAHAHA ;-)

Me: What’s so funny

Clara: It’s from him alright HAHAHA

Me: How did you know?

Clara: Don’t you recognize the flowers?

Me: I’m not an expert, Clara

Clara: They’re forget-me-nots! HAHAHA

Me: Oh. Lovely. And?

Clara: He’s literally telling u not to forget about him HAHAHA

So I waited patiently from another response or anything from Kyungsoo, but there was nothing aside from the flower pot. I was desperate for updates so I searched the internet for anything about EXO. I looked like a giddy fangirl from an outsider’s point of view. Aside from the hospital rumors and the news about Tao - the third member who left - I also found out that they were going to Hong Kong for their concert tour. That explains why he’s busy or not contacting me. There wasn’t anything I could do about that, so I just continued reading articles about them and watching their videos. I slowly got immersed, and I found out lots of things about EXO by the end of the month. Clara laughed so hard when I called her and told her about it, saying that I’m now an EXO-L.

Almost two months has passed since I got out of the hospital and since I last saw Kyungsoo. They were still on their concert tour, and I’m not sure when they’ll be back. I haven’t updated myself with what’s happening with EXO because I had business to take care of as well. Today was my only free day this week, so Clara and I decided to meet up and talk.

I pushed open the door to the breakfast bar and was greeted by one of my employees at the bar. I smiled and nodded, about to make my way to the table where Kyungsoo and I sat before, but there was a girl already seated there. I was about to turn and find another table but I recognized the girl as a regular customer the past month. I remember her by her strawberry blonde hair and the face mask she always wears. My employee said she comes by almost everyday, staying in that same place. Sometimes she orders a lot of food, sometimes just a milkshake, sometimes just sitting and staring outside, sometimes staying for hours. They don’t have a problem with her though, she always smiles at employees who pass by and she always orders something.

A lot of times she has a face mask on, sometimes she wears a cap or bucket hat. I saw her face the first time without a mask when I came to pick up the bills. She was slurping a shake at the bar. We made eye contact, I smiled at her and she smiled back. She looked young, about 16 or 17. For some reason she kept staring at me as I was talking to my employee at the bar. It wasn’t a menacing stare though, more like she was curious. I just shrugged it off back then.

I was already walking away when I heard a voice call out behind me. “Hi, excuse me?” I turned around and saw that the girl was standing up from the table and had her hand held out in a wave, looking at me. She smiled, face mask down, then walked towards me. She was wearing a cap this time and her hair was tied in a ponytail. She wore simple clothes, just a white shirt and black jeans. I smiled back, quite curious about what she wants.

“Hi, you’re the owner of this place right?” she said in a small, cute voice.

“Oh, yes,” I was a bit startled. “How did you know?”

“Just a guess.” She smiled brightly. She seemed nice, so I just went along and talked to her.

“Well, thank you for coming by always. We don’t usually get kids your age these days.” Now that I’m looking at her face to face, she seems quite familiar, like I’ve seen her even before she became a regular here.

“Really? Well, they’re missing out on a lot.” she said, and she seemed proud that she often came here.

“That’s really nice of you to say.”

“It’s nothing, the food is really good, and I love how homey the place feels.”

I really don’t know her, but I love her already. She’s cute, and I can’t explain it but there’s something in her eyes that tells me she’s wise, like she’s way beyond her years. I still didn’t get why she stood up and called me though. It wasn’t because she just wanted small talk right? I was about to ask when she beat me to it.

“What’s your name, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh, it’s Dana.”

She smiled after I said my name, like she knew something I didn’t. But maybe it was just me overthinking. I suddenly heard a ringtone, and she took out her phone, looking at the screen. She sighed and raised an eyebrow. I realized I didn’t ask her name yet.

“How about you? What’s your name?”

“Oh,” she seemed startled for a bit but she smiled back, then put her phone back in her pocket. “It’s.. Kim. Just Kim.”

“Kim, will I see you again another time?”

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot more in the future.” she smiled and adjusted her cap so it could hide her eyes. “Dana, it was nice meeting you, but I really have to run now.” I felt a bit sad that she was already leaving, but I just nodded and bade her goodbye, and she told me she’ll be back again soon before heading out the glass door.

My employee cleared Kim’s table while we were talking, and she had already served me food, so I just sat there at the table waiting for Clara. While I was eating, I remembered that time when Kyungsoo and I also sat here during that one morning. I blushed at the thought, it seemed so long ago, and that was so awkward, thinking back. I was so stupid, he hinted at a lot of things but I didn’t realize it back then.

“I know what you need in this place. A mural.”

He was probably checking if I remembered the mural behind the gym, the wishing well.

“I liked that song too. I helped with the lyrics.”

I wanted to slap myself, he asked me what my favorite song was from their albums, and the one that I chose was My Answer, and it turns out it was what he sang to me when he confessed to me back in high school. That’s why he looked so shocked and flustered after.

“I’d like to order something else. May I order your number?”

“Why the hell are you so red?”

I was broken out of my reverie when I saw Clara standing in front of the table, looking at me, a smirk on her lips.

“Oh, shut up.” I said, annoyed at her smirk. She must’ve caught me blushing, and I could still feel the heat on my cheeks. She just smiled knowingly.

“I know you’re thinking about D.O., don’t worry ‘cause I’m sure he’s thinking about you too.” she said. I whipped my head around and checked if there was anyone within earshot. Then I put my finger to my lips. “Shh! Don’t say his name, someone might hear you!” There were only a few people in here, and most of them were adults, but still.

“What, is he Voldemort now?” Clara laughed. I just stared at her pointedly. She just shrugged, borrowed my fork and took a piece from the waffles on my plate. “Yeah, sorry, I forgot it’d be hard for you when people find out you’re his girlfriend now.”

I felt my face turning hot again and I just lightly hit her arm. She didn’t even flinch. “Clara! We’re not even—we haven’t even talked!” But she just rolled her eyes and smirked again.

“Again… so dense, even after he went here in the morning just to see you, after he found you at our school, after he visited you at the hospital, after he only went to our high school reunion just because you were coming—”

I suddenly cut her off. “Wait, what? He went to the reunion because I was gonna be there?”

“Yeah, duh, I texted and invited him lots of times before that, but he never replied. I was starting to think that he changed numbers or something,” Clara said, while taking another one of the waffles on my plate. “Then I texted him that you were coming. That’s the only time he replied and came to the gathering.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I didn’t know what to think, I was a bit overwhelmed, thinking that he really wanted to see me even then.

“Did you know he wasn’t even gonna stay the night? He had a schedule the next day, but he slept over because he hadn’t talked to you yet.”

“Are you freaking serious?” My eyes widened at that. I’m finding it hard to believe that Kyungsoo intentionally missed a schedule because of me. “So was he the one that brought me hangover medicine?” I suddenly remembered someone talking to me during that time, but my brain was half-asleep or something.

“Probably. He asked why you were knocked out, and first I said you were probably drunk. He didn’t even believe it, saying you never liked drinking alcohol,” Clara explained. “He didn’t know about your episodes yet, so I said it was probably a migraine.”

“Yet? What do you mean he didn’t know about my episodes yet? Does he know about it now? Did he found out during the times he visited me at the hospital?” I don’t remember telling about it to Kyungsoo. It was never brought up when we talked during those short visits. He just kept asking how I was feeling, if I was eating well, and if there was something I’d want the next time he visits so he could bring it for me. After that they’d left in an instant. All his visits wouldn’t even last for more than 20 minutes.

“Oh yeah, about that..” Clara slowly gulped, then reached for my glass of milkshake and took a sip. I ordered food for her because she already ate half of mine. Then she continued. “D.O. already knew about your episodes before that.”

“What?!” I blurted out almost too loudly, a few heads looking in our direction. “Since when did he know?” I whispered.

“After our get-together. That first time you fainted.” Clara whispered back, moving closer to me. “Remember that time you went to Stiles’ office after that incident? He went there the same day!”

“How did he– why did he– what?!” I couldn’t absorb all the information in one go. Clara slowly explained that Kyungsoo suddenly showed up after my appointment, and asked what happened the past 3 years; what happened after the accident and how it affected me. Dr. Stiles and Clara then explained everything to him, and he was in shock afterwards, constantly blaming himself again for what happened. My heart wrenched at the thought of Kyungsoo blaming himself. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine.

After Kyungsoo and I graduated from high school, I had an opportunity to go to France on a scholarship and study culinary there. Kyungsoo was so happy for me, he even seemed more excited than I was. At that time he wanted to study performing arts but they couldn’t afford it. Luckily he was scouted by someone from a famous entertainment agency after he joined a random singing contest. I was worried at first, because we’ve researched that the agency had difficult training programs. But Kyungsoo wanted to go through with it, saying we should both pursue our dreams. By the time I was about to leave for France, he wanted to come with me to the airport but he had training to do. I told him training was important right now, and that we shouldn’t be getting in the way of each other’s dreams. He understood, and bade goodbye to me at our house but not coming with me to the airport.

Communication was hard when I was in France, calling overseas was expensive, and the letters we sent to each other always got delayed. Still, we kept sending each other letters and photos. I keep telling him of my experience at the culinary school, how inexperienced I felt and how scary the trainors and chefs were. Kyungsoo also told me about how strict the agency was, how he even had to lose a bit of weight, and how competitive everyone was. He was a bit worried at first because some of the trainees had a bad first impression of him just because of his eyes, but they soon became his friends after.

Then I received a letter from Kyungsoo, telling me that he was going to debut in a new group soon. I was so happy for him, because he’d only been training for two years yet he’s gonna be a star! He must’ve worked so hard, and it made me so excited for him that I decided to fly back home to surprise him. I left in the middle of school break, and my parents were in California so I had to go back by myself. When I got home I used my parent’s car to drive to Kyungsoo’s agency. There were roads that were being fixed at that time so I had to go the long way. I got lost while driving, not familiar with some of the new roads, but I just kept going. I also felt sleepy and tired at the time, coming back from almost a 12-hour flight. But I couldn’t wait to see Kyungsoo. I decided to call him that time, it took a few more rings before he could answer.

“Hello? Dana? Is this really you?” Kyungsoo said on the other end of the line. I could hear the excitement in his voice.

“Yes, you dork! Are you busy?” I put my phone on speaker mode and placed it on the dashboard. I realized I’ve been driving around in circles, but I’d have to deal with that later after this call.

“We just finished practicing a new dance.. I can’t believe it, I’ve debuted already!” he said while catching his breath.

“I know!! I’m so happy for you! And wait up, you’re dancing?!”

“Of course, I need to dance, I’m in a group—hey, why are you laughing?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m proud of you! It’s just that I haven’t seen you dance!” I said in between giggles.

“Hey, I’m not bad at it, I actually have some moves in me! I only found out during training. I was also surprised!”

“Well, I can’t wait to see how you dance!”

“You can! They’ve uploaded our music videos already, search for Mama or History! I also have a stage name now, they call me D.O.”

“What? D.O.? Let me guess, because your last name’s Doh?”

“Real creative right?”

“Uh-huh.” I laughed.

“Oh shut up, as if you could think of something better.”

“I’ll think of something, and yeah, I’ll search for your music videos later. I’m so happy for you, Soo! I really am.”

“Thanks, Danes. We also had our debut showcase already. That was one of the best days ever, I can’t explain the feeling. I wish you were there to see it all!”

“Yeah, I really wish I was there too.” then I suddenly yawned a bit too loudly, and my eyes were getting heavy.

“Wow, okay, sorry, are you bored already?” Kyungsoo laughed.

“What? No, no. I’m just sleepy, the flight was 12 hours for god’s sake.” Before I realized what I just said, Kyungsoo had already reacted.

“Flight? What flight? Where are you right now?”

I didn’t have too much energy to deny it, so I just went on and told him that I was back and on my way to him right now. He was so happy he started shouting. I could almost hear other people in the background from his side, asking him what he’s jumping and shouting about.

“You’re really here?! What the hell, Dana! Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve fetched you at the airport!”

“I wanted to surprise you, silly! Oh well, surprise!”

“Where are you now, exactly? And why are you on the phone while driving?!”

“I’m not even holding my phone, you dork. But yeah, I don’t know where I am. Is this a new road? I passed some sort of supermarket and there are like, more roads being fixed.”

“What? Why are you there? Turn around, go back to the supermarket. Wait for me there. You’re actually close but going the wrong way.”

“Okay, okay. I’ve been driving in circles and I’m sleepy as hell, I really don’t know where I’m going.”

“Tsk, you should’ve slept first, why didn’t you just visit me tomorrow?”

“Well I wanted to see you!” I said while turning the car around.

“You’re amazing, you know,” he softly said. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, dork.”

I swear that I only blinked my eyes a few times, then I was suddenly greeted by a blinding, bright white light and a very loud, ear-piercing honking. I didn’t know where the truck came from, everything happened too fast. I tried to swerve and avoid it, and I heard a very loud screech. The next thing I knew, I was being thrown in the air, hitting my head on the window of my car. Their was a loud crash and my car was rolling several times. I heard glass shattering, and painfully loud crunching noises. Was it the car? Was it my bones? I only realized I was screaming so hard when my throat hurt and I could feel pain.

There was a big impact, and the car suddenly stopped. My body hurt everywhere, and I couldn’t move. I tried to open my eyes, and everything was upside down. There was lots of red.. on the dashboard, the windows. Was it my blood? I coughed, suddenly smelling smoke and burning rubber. I could hardly breathe.

I didn’t know how long time has passed. I was not moving, I could feel pain everywhere even if I moved the slightest. My head was hurting so badly, I could feel blood still trickling on the side of my face. Am I going to die now? Am I already dead, even? There was nothing I could do about it, so I just closed my eyes, wishing the pain away.

But then I heard it, my name being shouted several times. The voice was getting closer and closer, until I could almost hear it a few feet away from me.

“Dana!! Dana! No! Dana!! Answer me!!”

I knew that voice like I knew my own name. I wanted to answer, but even moving my mouth was painful. Every time I opened my eyes, there was sort of a spinning sensation, then everything was blurry. I couldn’t even turn my head to look at the person calling me. I just heard more shouts, and I felt a hand squeeze my own.

“Dana, god no, Dana.. I can’t get you out.. Please hang on, hang on!!” He was crying, I could feel the anguish and pain in his voice. I didn’t know if it was blood or tears that I felt sliding down across my cheek. I couldn’t do anything. More shouts were heard, and I could hear sirens all around me.

“Please help her!! Please save her!!”

Those were the words that I last heard before I blacked out completely.

I felt a hand on my cheek, wiping the tears that were falling. I blinked and saw Clara holding out her hand, with a very apologetic look on her face.

“You’re crying, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head, and wiped my own tears. I didn’t realize I was crying while remembering the accident. “No, it’s okay.. I was just.. overwhelmed.” Clara told me that I was very, very lucky to have survived that accident. After being hit by a huge truck that sent my car flying and rolling away, it was a miracle that I was still in one piece. I had broken bones, but my head received the most damage, and I suffered from internal bleeding. It was fatal at that time, and I lost a lot of blood. But maybe it wasn’t really my time to go, because I was saved. Clara was an intern at the hospital I was brought to, and that’s when she saw Kyungsoo.

“I didn’t know it was you that was being brought to the emergency room,” Clara explained to me. “Everyone was in chaos because you were almost dying. Then I saw him. He was running after you and he wanted to come to the emergency room but of course it was off limits. He was shouting your name over and over, and he was crying so hard. He was a mess.”

I closed my eyes and tried to shove the image of Kyungsoo being devastated like that. I know, I was the one in an accident, but it was heart-wrenching to imagine Kyungsoo in pain as well. Clara continued her story, saying that Kyungsoo was making a scene in the hospital, and that people were starting to notice. Normally, people got hysterical over accidents, but they were starting to recognize him. EXO D.O. is here, making a scene. Crying for someone. When she saw that people were starting to take out their phones, she dragged Kyungsoo from where he was crying on the floor, and took him to a spare room. She tried calming him down, explaining that there were people outside, and that he wasn’t an ordinary person right now. He was D.O., a member of the rising group EXO. He can’t afford to have a scandal right now.

“He was going crazy, I had to stop myself from hitting him across the face,” Clara said. “But he calmed down when I kept mentioning you. I told him you probably wouldn’t have liked it if his career got jeopardized because of your accident. He even said he was ready to give up everything for you.” Clara smiled lightly, and I also smiled a little. This was the first time I’m hearing about their side of the story, so I urged her to go on.

Clara said that he calmed down for a bit, but when they got out of the spare room, people were suddenly taking pictures. “I covered my face that time with a clipboard I was holding, but Kyungsoo didn’t even try to cover his face. He just stared at them blankly,” Clara explained. Her eyes looking outside the window, like she was suddenly visualizing what happened back then. “They started crowding us. Next thing I knew, he was being dragged away from the crowd by someone. He turned around to look at me, like he was gonna say something, but he was already gone.”

“Then what happened? Did the people follow him?” I asked.

“Some of them did, but the others, especially some teenagers, who I think were his obsessed fans, were crowding me and shouting at me angrily. They told me to leave Kyungsoo alone, they were even demanding to know if I was in a relationship with him! When I didn’t answer, they started throwing stuff at me. It was crazy. I locked myself in the spare room. I was there for hours. They wouldn’t leave!”

“I’m so sorry..” I squeezed her hand from across the table and looked at her sadly. Clara just shook her head. “That wasn’t your fault or his. It was the crazy fans. I was stuck in that room for hours, Stiles was the one who got me out. He was also an intern there at that time.”

“Then the rumor came out on the news? But I didn’t see any article about it..” I said, searching my mind for articles I’ve come across the past weeks.

“Nope, you won’t see a thing, because I think the agency covered it up.” Clara said, then took a long sip from the strawberry milkshake I got for her. “But unfortunately, the obsessed fans had photos of me and they posted it in their blogs. Some online entertainment portals wrote about it too, but it didn’t blow up because the agency was good in keeping things neutral. Then the scary part happened, some of the obsessed fans were stalking me everywhere, sending death threats and all. It was all starting to get to me so I moved away.”

“That’s horrible! I didn’t know some fans could be like that..” I softly said.

“You’re too pure for this world. Ugh, that’s why I was also worried for you at that time, I kept thinking what if they found out that Kyungsoo was at the hospital because of you and not me? But luck was really on your side that day, no one found out, and you survived.” Clara said matter-of-factly.

“How did you know about my condition? Is that why you suddenly became close to me afterwards?” I asked. I remember that time when I was moved to a different hospital that catered more to psychological problems, Clara was there checking up on me, also Dr. Stiles.

“I was there when they were asking if you remember anything. You had a severe head injury and they had to check how badly affected your brain was. When they started asking about the car crash, you suddenly started panicking, and that was when you started screaming, saying that it hurts.” Clara shook her head. “God, I almost cried you know! You scared me so much.” I didn’t remember Clara being there, but I remember that it did hurt, and that I was sedated lots of times.

“That’s when we ruled out that you were traumatized about the incident, and had dissociative amnesia. Then you don’t remember anything about high school, you didn’t even remember me at first!” Clara said accusingly. “But you were remembering little by little, and after more sessions I realized you couldn’t remember Kyungsoo, and you felt dizzy when you tried to remember.”

I flinched, feeling so guilty that I had forgotten him. Kyungsoo who was one of the most important people in my life. Kyungsoo, of all people. “Maybe because it was him I was thinking of during the accident,” I said. Kyungsoo was the only thing in my mind during the crash, so maybe that’s why he was the one I forgot the most. I was traumatized too much that I didn’t want to remember the crash, and that’s why I couldn’t remember him as well. “I was back here because of him, and I don’t know if I was hallucinating, but was he also there at the scene of the accident?”

Clara nodded, saying that Kyungsoo was the one who called for an ambulance in the first place. She also said that it was fortunate that he got to me on time, because if he didn’t, I might have died already. Then I was shocked when Clara added that Kyungsoo was also the one who paid for all of my hospital expenses, because they couldn’t get a hold of my parents that time. He paid for everything, until my parents were finally able to fly here.

“Then they took me back to California with them,” I said, bringing the pieces together. “And I forgot about Kyungsoo.”

“Yup, you did.” she simply said. Clara wasn’t there to guide me when I was overseas, so there wasn’t anyone to help me remember Kyungsoo and all other memories. I eventually forgot about him, continuing on with my life. I felt really horrible thinking about it, that I’ve left him alone for three years.

“He looked for you before you left. I don’t know how he got my number. I sent him updates. He knew you were moved to a different hospital, but he couldn’t visit because the issue wasn’t dying down yet with some of the fans. He couldn’t even see you off when you went to California.” Clara explained, tapping her fingers on the table as if she’s on edge. “I didn’t know you had something going on at the time. I only knew you were close in high school. After you left, Kyungsoo and I didn’t contact each other again.”

“Then the reunion was the first time you saw each other again?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, I always see him on TV, but yes, it was the first time we talked personally again.” Clara also said that she kept a low-profile during that time, she was even changing up her look several times so that some obsessed fans wouldn’t recognize her. Luckily, EXO became so famous the next year with their song Growl, that the issue died down on its own.

“I was surprised that you contacted me last year. You were still checking up on me even then?” I asked her. Last year, she sent me an email while I was in California, and asked about my health and if I would be coming back home again. I told her that I was coming back early in January. Then we met up again, and did some catching up, eventually becoming close friends.

“Yes, I was checking up on you. I didn’t know if you and D.O. were talking again or what. He was really affected when you got in that accident, and he didn’t get to see you off when you left. I tried texting him after, but he never replied. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt guilty and responsible, maybe because I was in the middle of it all when it happened.” Clara said. I really felt sorry for her that she got dragged into the mess. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Then again, she got to calm Kyungsoo down during that time, and even helped me recover.

“Then when we you came back here, I tried asking you about Kyungsoo. I laughed so hard back then, because you said Kyung-who?” Clara smiled, recalling the memory. “I thought you were joking, turns out you were dead serious.” I remembered that she showed me a video of Kyungsoo at that time, he was singing and performing. Then I started feeling dizzy, like I recognize him but it hurt too much to think about it. She took me back to the apartment I was staying in so I could rest. That was when she explained to me who Kyungsoo was, and who he was in my life.

Clara could only provide a few details, like Kyungsoo and I were so close back in high school, and that there was a rumor that he asked me to be his girlfriend but I rejected him. She left out the part that Kyungsoo was there during the accident, because she didn’t want to mention the accident at all, since it might trigger my trauma. I cried when she told me about Kyungsoo. I didn’t know why, but maybe the memory of him asking me to be his girlfriend seemed familiar and important but I couldn’t remember any of it, and I felt frustrated so I cried.

At first it hurt, trying to remember things about Kyungsoo. I was constanty in disbelief, thinking that this member of the famous group EXO was an important part of my life. I had doubts back then, thinking that if he was important, why did I forget about him? If I was also important to him, why didn’t he contact me ever again? There were nights when I just cried myself to sleep because I felt hurt while thinking about him, without ever really knowing why. I didn’t know what happened between us. Clara also didn’t know anything and she felt helpless. Every time I struggled to remember, my head and my heart hurt. The pain was just there. I tried to keep him off my mind, to not think about him so that there was no pain. It worked for a while, but he was everywhere. EXO was everywhere.

I remember when I saw Kyungsoo arriving at Clara’s house during the reunion. My head suddenly hurt, but I realized I was just so nervous that I wanted to throw up. What would I say to him? I don’t remember anything. What if he found out I forgot him? Will he get mad? Will he get hurt? Or did I already hurt him?

But during that morning when he visited me here at the breakfast bar, he already knew I forgot about him. He already found out from Clara and Dr. Stiles. He already knew, but he still went to see me. He still wanted to talk to me. Even after everything that happened, he still came to me, and it gave me a sense of hope.

I just stared at Clara, watching her finish her food. This girl is golden, she helped me and Kyungsoo so many times just because she felt like helping. She never asked for anything in return. It was all done in good faith. I sighed heavily, really thankful for her. She seemed to notice the heavy sigh and my meaningful stare, so she raised an eyebrow in question. “What is it now?” she said.

"Do you think he.. wants it to work?” I slowly asked. It was a question I was scared to bring up, but I think I’m just more scared of the answer. Even though there were signs and Clara kept teasing me, I wouldn’t believe it because I wanted it to come from Kyungsoo himself.

“Danes, honey, I know he does.” Clara said. I must’ve looked unconvinced, because she was the one who sighed heavily this time, like she was so done with all that’s happening. She smiled at me and shook her head. “You know what Dana, can you do something for me?” she asked out of the blue.

“Anything. What is it?”

“Just make it work,” Clara smirked. “Talk to him again, and make it work.”

I smiled back at her tone. Because yes, I wanted to make it work too.

I took my phone out and was about to call Kyungsoo when his name suddenly popped on my screen, and I gasped a little. He was calling me! Clara looked over and I showed her my phone screen. She urged me to answer it immediately, so I pressed the green answer button.

“Hello? Soo?” I looked away from Clara and her smirk, and glanced out the window instead. I didn’t realize it was getting dark already. Time flew by fast.

“Uh, hello? Hello? Is this Dana?”

I was suddenly startled because a different voice answered. I looked at my phone screen again quickly, and it was Kyungsoo’s name and his number. It wasn’t a wrong caller. But who’s talking to me right now?

“Yeah, this is her. Who is this? Isn’t this Kyungsoo’s number?”

“Oh, hi! Yes, this is his phone. I’m sorry, this is Sehun, I’m one of his friends and also from EXO.” he explained. My eyes widened at this and I mouthed to Clara that it was Sehun. She looked surprised and even said Oh Sehun out loud.

“Yeah, I know you, Sehun,” I said in a softer voice so nobody around could overhear. “Is something wrong? Why are you calling using Kyungsoo’s phone?”

“I didn’t know who else to call. I think you’re the only one who could help.” Sehun explained. How did he even know me? Did Kyungsoo tell him about me, by chance? But what got me was the sound of worry in his voice.

“What is it Sehun? Tell me.”

There was a small pause before Sehun answered.

“I think.. something’s wrong with Kyungsoo.”

✨ The Star & His First Love

🌟 Story Masterlist

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venussinclair3 · 3 years

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Fun While It Lasted

Disclaimer? I haven’t written in a long time so I’m a little rusty but yeah this is just something short that I kind of liked. Would really appreciate constructive feedback (please be nice I’m sensitive)! Should I continue this? Should I put it on Wattpad? Anyway, enjoy!

"You live next door yet you somehow always take forever to get here." She was laying in bed in a pink oversized shirt when he snuck through her window.

"Sorry, I was looking for my crayons." His hands were empty, "Couldn't find them. Can I use yours?" He plastered a large smile on his face because who could say no to such a cute face?

"This was your idea you know. How are you going to propose we draw each other and have no supplies whatsoever?" She said as she walked to the bookcase that stood in the back of her room. The third shelf was riddled with paintbrushes, sharpies, and crayons. She had meant to clean it last week but never found the time. Maybe she'll get to it next week.

"Because I knew my good friend Oasis would have my back." He jumped on her bed and took off his green converses before grabbing Bimbo.

Bimbo was as old as their friendship. Oasis had received the teddy bear on her fifth birthday, the same day he knocked down her birthday cake because he was running recklessly. She clung on to Bimbo as she cried herself to sleep that night and swore to hate him for as long as she lived.

There was a cake on the table when she went downstairs the next morning, "Blue's mom made it as a way of saying sorry about what happened yesterday." Her mother cut her a slice and gave it to her. It was better than she could have ever imagined. The chocolate cake covered in pink fondant danced in her mouth as the richness of the chocolate chips exploded. She hugged Bimbo tight while devouring the cake, deciding that maybe the little boy wasn't as bad as she thought.

Oasis dumped the supplies on her bed and sat across from Blue, her legs crossed, sketchbook in hand, "My drawing is going to be better than yours."

"Doubt it. I'm a genius." And he was. Straight A student since fifth grade, Blue was the smartest boy in his class. He won the science fair three times in a row and lied his way out of trouble all the time. He lied Oasis out of trouble too because she could never do it herself.

They both got to work, each with a different method: Oasis lightly drew an outline; Blue began working on her left eye. The sounds of the TV downstairs leaked into her bedroom. The Property Brothers were debating over which color they should paint the kitchen of a Nashville home they were working on. "I think the kitchen should be white" mumbled Blue, having started the right eye.

"What?" asked Oasis as she looked up from her sketch.

"Nothing. Where are your speakers? I wanna play some music." She pointed to the bookcase, second shelf.

"Don't play anything stupid."

"Why are your parents home?"

"No, I just don't want to listen to anything stupid."

He chuckled. Bringing the speaker onto the bed and connecting it to his phone, I Wanna Be Yours by Artic Monkeys enveloped them. They both began bobbing their heads.

They played this song when they snuck out for the first time. Oasis jumped out her window and was pretty sure she had broken something, but the adrenaline of defying her parents rushed through her body to numb the pain. By the time she reached the park and met up with Blue, the only thing on her mind was how much fun they were going to have at Mielle's party. And they did have fun. They danced, ate, and drank. She successfully snuck back home with Blue's help and fell asleep the second her head hit her pillow. What she had failed to consider was that the party was on a Thursday night, that her parents would never let her miss a day of school and she was a shit actress. She went to school hungover and was grounded for a month. Blue was company during her punishment.

"You have a really sharp jawline" Oasis stated. She had finally finished with the outline of his face. He looked at her and grinned, taking it as a compliment rather than an observation.

"Thank you, princess." Nothing got under her skin more than that nickname. They fell silent again, a silence she was comfortable with, but he wasn't. As he drew her nose, he begged for her to say something. Anything to convince him that she wasn't mad at him, that they were still friends, that she wasn't just tolerating him.

"Have you seen the new house yet?" Thank god. His prayers were answered when she raised the question so he spoke without thinking, "Yeah the new house is great! My room is way bigger and we even have a dishwasher, although I doubt my mom will even want to use it. She'll probably still make me wash them by hand because that woman hates me. Oh and the neighborhood is super nice and I met the girl next door. She's really cool. We've been texting and stuff.” His enthusiasm stung. Blue was moving to Chicago. He was moving 11 hours and 54 minutes away. And he was excited about it. And maybe she shouldn't take it so personally, but when her best friend was rambling about how cool his neighbor is and how he's been talking to her for a while, she couldn't help but feel as if she was about to be replaced. She faked a smile and said, "That sounds exciting. Can't wait to visit you in the summer." Oasis was a shit actress. None of what he said sounded exciting to her, "I'll miss you."

She added another hair stroke to his thick, straight eyebrows and refused to look up because she couldn't promise herself she won't cry. Blue didn't take her eyes off of her for a while. He stared at the way the corners of her round lips curved downward, making it look like she was always sad about something. "I just think it's stupid to move the summer before your senior year." He sighed, "Oasis." The tip of her ears got red as her name escaped from his lips.

The last time he had called her “Oasis” was two weeks ago. She had snuck into his room after he blew up her phone, crying that it was urgent. Each time he had told her that it was urgent, it never was. She hopped through his window to find him at his desk, two Surfer Cooler Capri Sun in front of him. "Oasis, I'm moving in two months." She stopped mid sip. Her brown eyes ran across his face, scanning it for any sign that could give away this sick joke. There was no sign. He was serious. Blue was leaving New York.

It wasn't fair to be mad at him for moving. It's not like he could say no. But she had to be mad at someone. She decided the universe was to blame. "Have you made your college list yet?" he asked in a weak attempt to change the subject. She looked at the way his red lips were slightly open as he anticipated her answer, " Not really. Community college or NYU or Howard. I don't know. You?"

"No idea either. Maybe an Ivy?" He knew he was Dartmouth material but he still sought her approval. He always had.

He went shopping with her right before the eighth-grade dance. They both didn't have dates so they decided to go together as friends. They walked into the Old Navy with "Sale" signs plastered in the front. She thought the signs were useless at this point because when were they not having a sale of some kind? He walked into the dressing room with several shirts out of his $20 budget, and once he had tried them all on, Blue marched to where she was sitting, impatiently waiting for him.

"You are not wearing that purple button up."

"Why?" He cried.

"It's going to clash with my dress and it's literally hideous." She walked back to the rack of button-ups and picked out a green dress shirt for him. "You look so much better in green." Green was his favorite color ever since. They dominated the dance floor at the event and she won a raffle for a Bosse speaker. They spent the next weeks dismantling rumors that they were dating.

"I already picture you thriving at MIT." They both chuckled. He reached for the black to start coloring in the curls of her afro; she reached for the orange to recreate his buzzcut. They fell silent again. "I'll miss you too." She offered him a small smile but that couldn't mask the sadness of her eyes. "We can still facetime and text every day," Blue offered.

"You know it won't be the same." He did know that but his hope lied in the fact that if he never said it out loud, it would be less true. "I take that back. You're more of a Cornell type." Another weak attempt at changing the subject but he went along with it, " I think NYU might be good for you. You'll get to stay close to your sister."

Moya was a prodigy. She began piano lessons at three, and seven years later she played at their aunt's wedding during the bridal entrance. "I think Moya will be fine without me. She'll get even more attention from my parents if I'm gone." The red of his lips was hard to replicate. It lay somewhere between crimson and cherry. "I'll miss that little devil. She promised she was going to compose me a song but never did."

"Pretty sure she had a crush on you." Blue burst into laughter so loud, Oasis barely realized that the album had started all over again and I Wanna Be Yours was playing. "Seriously?" He was in disbelief.

"Yeah, she would always ask when you were coming over and would try to hang out with us all the time."

He wiped the tear from the corner of his eye, "That's adorable." He added the finishing touches to her face: the scar on her chin that she got after he pushed her a little too hard and she fell, the beauty mark right above her lip, the curl at the top of her hair which she complained never behaved like the rest. "Finished." She said. She ripped the page from her sketchbook and walked to the bookcase once more. She grabbed two sheet protectors that were tucked between stacks of books and slipped the drawing inside. He did the same. She stared at the image of Blue, afraid that if she didn't memorize the details of his visage, he would walk out of her room and she would forget him. Forget the memories they created together. The secrets they shared together. She was afraid to forget how much she loved him.

He handed her his drawing and as she saw how he had captured her beauty with nothing but her color pencils, she said, "I'm coming to terms with the fact that we weren't meant to be in each other's lives forever. But it was fun while it lasted...right?"

#storytelling #fiction #writing dialogue #teenagers #love #painting #music #neighbours #ran out of tags

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all-the-fanfics-bc-im-indecisive · 7 years

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Burnt | Muke AU

Summary: After being burnt on stage, Michael is rushed to hospital, leaving Luke and the other two boys terrified.

Word count: 1149

Warnings: Kinda graphic talk about burns and stuff? But nothing major

A/N: HI IM BACK! I literally haven’t posted in months but I think I’m pretty happy with this story? I can’t promise I’ll be posting more because my writer’s block is pretty insane and I’m quite busy with school but I promise I’ll really try. Also this is based off of a true event if you didn’t know Michael got burnt on stage a while ago and I was just watching some clips and it made me really really fucking sad but as a writer I just felt the need to write about it? Idk I’m sorry if you’re like...mad at this? Anyway pls enjoy it(or don’t I guess?)

https://youtu.be/6it2E6dhjaA

Luke stands there in shock.

Ashton looks around, Calum begins to cry.

After a hazy couple of seconds, Luke is off, throwing his guitar strap over his shoulder and sprinting after Michael.

The screams echoing down the hallway shake Luke's bones as he wipes away the tears on his cheeks aggressively.

"Get a medic! He needs a medic!"

He runs into the room where Michael sits on the table, shaking violently, drooling, staring through the medics as they bustle around him.

"Is he okay?" Luke asks, his mind going a million miles an hour.

Nobody answers him, too busy with Michael.

The words 'ambulance' and 'severe' fly past him as Calum and Ashton come running down the hall.

"Is he okay? What's happening?" Ashton asks, louder than Luke.

"He needs an ambulance. These are serious," someone in the crowd around Michael says quickly.

"If-if he can't come back on, we need to tell everyone the show's cancelled," Luke can see he's trying to keep himself together, for the sake of both the younger boys, but his voice trembles.

He clears his throat as he runs off to announce the end of the show.

Luke tears his eyes away from Michael and looks over at Calum.

Tears run down his face, his nose running, his face scrunched up sadly.

"I-is he gonna be okay?" his voice shakes harder than Ashton's.

Again, no one answers.

Luke grabs his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Ashton's voice comes over the speakers.

"Hey, guys. Um...Michael is hurt. So we will not be continuing the show. You guys have been amazing, thank you so much. I'm sorry. We love you."

The crowd cheers and murmurs, quieter than before.

"He'll be fine," Luke says unconvincingly, taking a deep breath as he hears the ambulance pulling up.

Michael is lifted up by the team around him, his legs wobbling too much for him to stand without collapsing.

Immediately, Ashton jumps in, grabbing the boy and keeping him steady as they make their way to the van. Luke suddenly feels foolish, standing there, shaking.

He follows Michael, Calum sniffling behind him.

They all climb into the back of the van.

Michael is laid down on the bed and a doctor is quick to place an oxygen mask over his face.

"You're okay. Just take some nice, deep breaths," she says.

He nods and clings to the mask tightly.

As the van begins to move, Ashton crouches down beside the bed.

Carefully as he can, he moves Michael's hair out of his face.

Luke grimaces. The burn is painfully red, already blistering.

Ashton coaches him through a few deep breaths, as if he's been through this routine a million times before.

"How you feeling?" he asks Michael when he's finally got his bearings.

Michael gives a weak thumbs up.

Calum walks over to him quickly, taking his hand.

"Are you okay?" he asks, sniffling and blinking away a tear.

Michael nods slowly, closing his eyes and taking a few more deep breaths.

"Do you think it's gonna scar?" Luke asks Ashton in a low voice. Scar or not, Luke loves Michael more than anything, but he doesn't want the boy to be self conscious about it.

"It's a pretty bad burn, but I don't know. I think he'll live," Ashton smiles at Michael, who returns it feebly.

Luke grabs Michael’s other hand.

Michael looks down at him and squeezes his fingers.

They spend the rest of the drive in awful silence, the sound of Michael's breaths going in and out filling the room.

The van comes to a halt and Michael is wheeled into the hospital. The boys follow him inside.

Luke half expects someone to scream for a nurse urgently, like in the movies. Instead, a nurse walks over to the group as they quickly wheel Michael through the hall, checking the burn and feeling his temperature.

"What happened?" she asks Ashton.

"He ran into a fire on stage." he replies.

Luke looks at both of them, then down at Michael.

Just before they enter the hospital room, the boys are all shooed off. They're left in the hall, watching as Michael disappears behind the door.

⋆⋆⋆

Luke bites away at the inside of his cheek furiously, staring straight ahead at the white wall in front of him.

He watches Ashton type away on his phone, his eyebrows knotted together.

Calum looks around the waiting room sadly. His shoulders have dropped.

"Michael?"

Luke jumps out of his chair as if being electrocuted. Ashton and Calum follow suit.

The nurse talks the boys through Michael's procedure as they all walk down the hall to his room.

"He's fine. Luckily the burns weren't major and missed his eye. He's on painkillers and he's been bandaged."

They arrive at the door.

"You have to be gentle with him. No jumping all over him, and be careful around the bandage."

She leads them inside. Instantly, they catch sight of Michael, lying on the bed.

Half his face is covered by the bandage. Luke looks down at the floor.

As they all crowd around the bed, Michael opens his eyes slowly.

"Hey," he croaks out, giving them a big grin.

Luke smiles, his heart slowing down.

"Hey," Ashton responds, putting his hand on Michael's shoulder, "How you feeling?"

"Like I just got a face-full of fire."

A few seconds of silence passes before Calum throws himself onto Michael.

"You big, dumb, idiot," he mumbles, letting out a little sniffle.

Michael chuckles and holds him for a moment.

Calum pulls away and Michael's eyes land on Luke.

"Hey, you," he says as Luke gets closer.

Luke sighs and engulfs Michael in a hug.

"Why'd you have to go and run into a fire?" he says into his neck.

Michael holds him tightly and laughs, "I wanted to look cool for the crowd."

Luke almost begins to cry, shaking his head and squeezing the older boy tighter.

"It's okay, Luke. I'm okay," Michael coos, rubbing little circles on Luke's back.

"I know, I'm sorry," Luke says, pulling away from Michael to wipe his eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry."

The nurses voice behind the two startles Luke.

"He's free to go home," she smiles.

Luke holds onto Michael's hand.

"Rest for a couple days, keep up the antibiotics until you take off the bandage."

Michael nods, pushing himself up off the bed.

"Will it..." Calum's face goes red and he moves his eyes from Michael to the floor, "Will it scar?"

Michael looks at the nurse.

"Most likely, but it'll barely be noticeable in a few weeks," she smiles.

He nods, pretending not to be upset by her answer.

After a thank you to everyone in the room, Michael makes his way to the exit, holding onto Luke's hand, Calum and Ashton on the other side of him.

They've just walked out the door when Michael turns towards the three other boys. "Hey, guys?"

They all look up at him.

"Did we get it on film?"

They all laugh, shoving Michael and shaking their heads, thankful for the boy standing next to them.

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romancevsreality-blog · 7 years

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the bachelor, season twenty-two, episode six: i had falling slowly stuck in my head the entire time i wrote this

Oh god.

We’re in Paris.

The most romantic city on Earth.

I literally cannot see straight because my eyes keep rolling and rolling and rolling. Are these broads sleeping on a boat? I’m pretty sure they’re sleeping on a boat. We see Chris Harrison, excited for his first real international vacation in a few weeks, pretending he can tolerate Arie as usual. Arie’s like, “I’m falling in love with some of these women.” We finally see this person called Jacqueline, who looks like Cristin Milioti1, who somehow made it to the halfway point without ever being seen on camera. I’m pretty certain Jacqueline really is Cristin Milioti and she literally took time off to shoot that crazy episode of Black Mirror and came back at the halfway point. CONSPIRACY THEORY.

Krystal is positive and enthusiastic and honestly, she’s going home this week on a two-on-one and we haven’t even confirmed this week’s dates.

Speaking of, Chris Harrison takes a break from touring the Louvre to let the girls know there’s four dates instead of three this week - two one-on-ones, a group date, and a two-on-one.

My tummy rumbled when he said two-on-one, because let’s be real - it’s the thing we look forward to most in any season. They might as well call it The Battle To The Death.

Everyone knows Krystal is going on the two-on-one, even herself. It’s amazing that she even has that much self-awareness. Oh, but there’s a date card!!!!!!!!!

It goes to The Last Remaining Lauren, which is what I have basically started calling her. I was hoping we’d run out of Laurens by this point, but I guess I was mistaken. All these girls looked the same this season, it was hard, okay?

Arie picks TLRL up from the boat, and they speed away in the gondola. All the girls are basically like...

And they’re right.

If Arie is a wet pair of boat shoes, Lauren is a Marilyn Monroe poster in a college dorm room.

Arie’s like, “this is going to be an incredible date!” and then they walk around Paris in silence. Like, monosyllabic answers. Arie’s concerned that she’s not super into him. Meanwhile, back with the girls, Tia and Kendall are hopeful that Lauren opens up on her date, because she takes a while to get comfortable. Arie’s literally like, “Lauren, I have a crush on you. I want you to like me.”

Why? Because she asked you your favorite color once?

... Oh, it’s because she looks like someone he’s dated. Someone whose name rhymes with Memily Shmaynard.

At the Boatel (Boat Hotel), all the girls are waiting to see who’s next for the date. Jacqueline puts a T so hard on the word geT that I am now fully convinced she is Acclaimed Trained Actress of Stage And Screen Cristin Milioti, as that affectation is very theatrical, very Katherine Hepburn2. There’s a date card! Becca K, Seinne, Tia, Chelsea, and Jenna are going on the group date.

That leaves Kendall and Grammy Award Winner Cristin Milioti to find out who’s going on the two-on-one with Arie. Neither girl has had a one-on-one, so this is messyyyyyyy. Krystal thinks it’s a little “unfair” to have either girl on a two-on-one with her, and I love her the most in this episode.

Arie and TLRL’s date starts with him talking about how busy it was in Paris that day. Oh my GOD I would rather go to a lecture about dentistry than ever hang out with these people. Lauren’s got trust issues so that makes her push guys away, and then Arie’s like, “let me top THAT, boring girl!” He had a girlfriend who was pregnant with his child, and when he left for a race, she lost the baby and told him she wasn’t going to be there when he got back. In response, Lauren’s like, “my parents’ marriage was rough, oh and I was engaged before but it didn’t work out.”

I have never chuckled at such an obtuse response like I did at that moment.

Lauren, for whatever reason, gets a rose. Like, I really think it’s interesting how even if the chemistry isn’t there (at least in my opinion), Arie’s really trying to make this shit work with Lauren. Compared to the last time he went on a one-on-one with the other Lauren, he was just... there. He didn’t really try at all. Huh.

The girls meet Arie and they’re all convinced they’re doing a fashion show. They walk over to the Moulin Rouge, and they say what everyone says - “oh, it’s not that big.” Like, have you ever seen a Baz Luhrmann film3?? If the Moulin Rouge was as big as he made it look in the movie it would be a part of the Paris skyline. They enter and are greeted by dancers, who are provacatively dressed, and the girls are going to learn a Cabaret routine.

They could have stayed in America and gotten Sonja Morgan and the quality would have been the same. It also would have been a charitable donation4!

Seinne is a professional trained dancer and she’s in her element, of course. Bekah’s process is “Wrong But Strong”, which has always worked for me5. Jenna’s loving it, but Tia’s hating it. She gives up on the dance almost straight away. The girls are taken upstairs to put on costumes - headdresses and thongs, my new favorite clothing store - and Jenna, Bekah and Seinne are living for the glamour, while Becca K is given a huge headdress with feathers and it looks heavy.

The girls perform a routine for Arie, and whoever is deemed best will get to perform on stage with Arie at the Moulin Rouge later on that evening. I love the black box they put over every girl’s butt, it’s my new favorite character. But I have a weird problem with this prize - what if someone has crippling stage fright? Are we really going to put someone in an anxiety-inducing situation like that in order for television?

Wait, I forgot this show has zero integrity.

At the after-after-after-after-after party, Arie makes sure to let them know that the rose that evening will be given on their connection and not on the performance. Tia can’t help but compare her relationship with Arie to everyone else’s. Meanwhile, we’re setting up the back-end conflict, which will effectively be about Bekah’s age. Chelsea’s like, “She’s 22, and I’m 29 AND I HAVE A BABY.” In case we had forgotten about her having a baby, the only words we’ve seen come out of her mouth all season.

Bekah M. gets the rose, and we’re tortured with Arie doing a Valentina-level bad lip-sync at the Moulin Rouge. They should have given Arie a mask or not had him LIP-SYNC IN FRENCH if he didn’t know the words! God, it’s like Valentina contributed nothing to the world.

At the Boatel, Krystal approaches Lauren, Kendall, and Star of Season Two of FX’s Fargo Cristin Milioti with a date card.

Two women.

One rose.

One stays, one goes.

Kendall and Krystal, let’s get the fuck into it.

Krystal is wearing sailor pants and a crushed velvet top and Kendall is wering a cold-shoulder jumpsuit, so I guess this is how you dress to kill or whatever. They meet Arie in the French countryside, and shit’s already tense. As if this wasn’t enough of a battle, Arie leads them to a literal labyrinth and tells them to come find him. This show sometimes just tries to smack you in the face with a metaphor. Kendall gets lost, and Krystal is successful.

Oh no.

Arie says this is Krystal’s last chance because of her behavior last week, and essentially gave her the two-on-one as punishment. He was really mad about her talking shit about him last week and she’s got a lot to prove. He would rather her come directly to him instead of putting him blast to everyone else, which is entirely a reasonable and decent opinion to have. Krystal apologizes sincerely and promises to work on it. They kiss and make up, and then Krystal proceeds to tell Arie that Kendall might not be ready to get married at the end of all of this.

KRYS. (hand-clapping emoji) TAL. (hand-clapping emoji)

GIRL, NO.

You had it all locked away and you fucked it up by going immediately into Shit Talking Mode. The minute you got your mouth on his you should have shut it the fuck down. She really thinks she’s so slick.

Arie almost immediately goes to Kendall and is like yo, she’s talking mad shit over here! And y’all, Kendal proceeded to come for my heart and my brain and I adore her. I’m sorry for shit talking her ukulele. I’m sorry for calling her a basic Pinterest girl. Kendall might be the most emotionally mature contestant to appear on this show to date and I have no shame in saying so. She tells Arie that the entire basis of Krystal’s argument is stupid because - who operates on a timeline like that? No one wakes up and is like, “Okay, I’m ready for love today. I wasn’t ready yesterday, but I’m ready for love today.” You find someone that you can see a future with and that’s how love works. And Kendall is pissed.

She heads over to Krystal, who is sitting with a coupe of champagne peacefully on a couch outdoors. She asks Krystal why she feels she’s not ready to get married, and Krystal says she doesn’t know, and Kendall’s like, YEAH DUH. And in situations where Krystal feels like she’s been backed in a corner, she lashes out and tries to hurt other people in order to get the heat off of her. She reminds Kendall of an ex of hers who used words as weapons in arguments, and reminds us all:

Saying the most hurtful thing... doesn’t mean you win. It just means you hurt somebody.

She takes Krystal’s hand and tells her she knows she’s experienced a lot of pain in her life and needs to stop trying to maintain an image of perfection and composure. I loved this because sometimes the two-on-ones are just savagery, but Kendall maintained her dignity and basically said, “What you did hurt me. I understand why you felt hurt and why you needed to attack someone, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been hurt too.” And it feels out of place because empathy and compassion is rare thing on this show.

God, I want so badly to be Kendall in this moment, but I’m so much like a Krystal. I hate that.

Krystal has no response. And because Krystal has no response and the producers aren’t getting the explosion they desire, Arie’s decided to extended the two-on-one into dinner instead of sending anyone home. At dinner before Arie arrives, Krystal’s trying to appeal to Kendall by saying they have similar beliefs, but as soon as Kendall rejects that notion, she’s like, “you were patronizing. “ Kendall DGAF, though. She’s there for Arie, and Krystal’s an emotionally stunted Thighmaster, so. That’s that.

Arie arrives and it’s still tense. Krystal tries to say something really really flowery and apologize to Kendall in front of him to secure her fate. Arie takes Kendall aside and we don’t see the conversation?????????????? They come back, her lipstick is gone, and Arie gives Kendall the rose. I cackle.

They leave Krystal alone at the dining table. We see the girls at the Boatel celebrating as Krystal’s suitcase is rolled away by a PA.

The next day6, Jacqueline, The Artist Formerly Known As the Mother From How I Met Your Mother, Cristin Milioti, is nervous about going on her date. Arie rolls up in a red convertible to pick her up, which promptly breaks down. We literally know nothing about her since she’s just back from working with Charlie Brooker and Jesse Plemons, and Arie has her try on dresses and walk down a staircase.

On their date, Arie admits that he was a little frightened by Cristin Milioti Who You May Remember As Sexy Baby on 30 Rock because she’s so smart, and that’s why it took so long to get her on a one-on-one. He didn’t want to come across as insecure around her. It’s weird because again, we have seen none of her, and they seem to actually get along and have a rapport. She tells him she’s not even close to being done with her educational goals - it takes six years to complete her Ph.D - and it’s a concern for him, because he’d like a partner he can move to Scottsdale and start crankin out shorties with ASAP.

I mean, I get it - he’s thirty-six, time’s running out. And it’s not like a Ph.D is the easiest thing in the world to get - it takes a lot of time and a lot of emotional energy. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that when I was newly married or engaged to someone I barely knew. Like, if she was closer to the end of her program, maybe. But she hasn’t even started. He doesn’t want to hold her back, but... he’s willing to go the distance with her. He says, “I don’t really see her ambition as a hindrance. It’s just another obstacle to get through together.”

And I hate him all over again. I mean, an obstacle? That’s an interesting choice of words there, buddy. I hate Arie because he seems to have good instincts and have great intentions and when he sees red flags he investigates but HE IS SO BAD AT WORD CHOICE. Ugh.

Star of Wolf of Wall Street Cristin Milioti gets a rose.

There’s no cocktail party this week - we head directly into the Rose Ceremony, where three girls have roses, and three girls are staying. Tia, Seinne, and Becca all get roses, and Someone’s Mom Chelsea gets sent off to be a mother7, and Jenna, who I liked but am fine with never seeing again, disappears into the ether.

We’re off to Tuscany next week, and Lauren’s bitch flower is beginning to bloom. We see her talking to a producer in a corner about how pissed off she is, and how terrified she is that Arie will pick someone else. Oh, now we see who you are, Lauren.

Next Week: Tuscany!!! It’s the week before hometowns, so pressure’s on. Everyone’s crying.

And Later This Season: Someone’s there to propose to someone. Someone’s parents are concerned about Arie’s intentions. And finally... a shot of Arie on a couch while someone’s sobbing in the background.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

WHY DID WE SEE MORE OF TLRL THIS EPISODE THAN BECCA? Ugh. Do not disappear my Becca.

Krystal elevated herself to likeable villain in her exit episode. I loved that.

Seinne is the Sharleen of this season.

I rdesperately need to know the conversation that Arie and Kendall had right before kicking Krystal off.

What happened to Kendall’s rose on the two on one?

Is this the best cast of hair we’ve had on this show ever? Bekah’s groundbreaking short pixie, Jacqueline’s gorgeous Mariah Carey in 1988 mane…

Arie has more chemistry with literally the nine other girls left than he does with Lauren, the one he seems to WANT the most.

Is it just me or is this season full of the most dopplegangers yet? ↩︎

I purred this demurely with my lips pursed, just in case you were wondering. ↩︎

I high-key love the 1996 Romeo + Juliet, which I recently learned is a hot take opinion. But also, I will never forgive the 2013 Gatsby. Ever. What did Joel Edgerton do to deserve that? Then again, Tobey Mcguire deserves no better than that film. Ugh. ↩︎

I love Sonja. This is a little mean. ↩︎

Yeah, my inability to be incorrect is a problem??? ↩︎

Presumably, time is a construct on this show. ↩︎

God, bringing her abroad just to cut her is just as savage as Maquel coming back just to go home last week. ↩︎

#the bachelor #the bachelor recap #reality tv recap #god arie has the personality of a dry sponge #who is jacqueline #cristin milioti #i am doomed to misspell cristin milioti's name forever #two i's one l

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darveyfics · 7 years

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office party, before the kiss so they don't know about each other's feelings, he's with paula? idc just lots of angst plz

Office Christmas parties at Pearson Hardman were known for being lavish, grand affairs. But with the renaming, downsizing and restructure of the firm still so fresh, this year’s office party was humble in its location; a warmly-lit library with an elegantly decorated Christmas tree.

As satisfying as it may have been to flash money around on an expensive party, Donna had deterred both Harvey and Louis from engaging in the extravagant display of years past. Instead they had shown their renewed success to their most loyal clients with personalised (and yes, expensive) gifts but kept the party an intimate, in house affair. The free-flowing champagne also did wonders for everybody’s temperament.

Whilst Christmas with her relatives was often a tense, stressful affair, holidays with her Pearson Specter family was something Donna had always treasured. This year felt different though. For one, their matriarch was notably absent. Any minute Donna kept expecting Jessica to swoop into the room, commanding the attention of every single person present. Louis had kept mostly to himself since the party started, sipping eggnog in a far off corner, throwing her the occasional limp smile when she caught his eye. Then there was Harvey.During their first few years at the firm, it wasn’t entirely uncommon for Donna to bring a date to the staff Christmas party. Although she didn’t have a shortage of offers, the holidays had always brought out a certain lightness in her, an ease that mean seemed to respond to. Back then she had always found herself dating in some form or another during that time of year. Harvey was the opposite. Christmas did nothing except remind him that his happiest holidays were behind him. It only worsened after Gordon died. Although they worked together right up until Christmas and almost immediately after, Donna had never spent Christmas with Harvey. The annual office party was the one chance they had to share the holiday together. After a few years it felt wrong to include somebody else in that.Unfortunately Harvey didn’t feel the need to show her the same courtesy this year. She might have liked a few hours to mentally prepare herself for the image of Paula on Harvey’s arm as her paraded her around the office (their home). Paula was clearly charmed by him, glancing up at him in a way that could only be described as adoringly while his hand rested delicately on the small of her back. He looked more relaxed than she’d seen him in months. No, he looked happy, she realised. Donna drained the contents of her glass and tore eyes away from the couple, reminding herself that jealousy was not an attractive look on her, even if she did look fabulous in the green dress she was wearing. Suddenly her empty glass was snatched out of her hand and replaced with a fresh one. She offered the culprit a grateful smile. “Thanks Rach.”“No one would blame you, you know.”“If I got hammered at the Christmas party? It wouldn’t be the first time.”Rachel gave her a knowing look. “If you left early.”“Why would I leave early?”“Donna, you don’t have to pretend with me. I know this must be hard for you.”Donna shook her head, smiling tightly. “Leaving will only make it worse.” She took a large swig of her champagne, wincing at the taste. She’d always hated the stuff. “Getting drunk might do the same,” Rachel said gently.“Didn’t you just put a drink in my hand?”“Sweetie, I just hate to see you hurting.”Donna softened at her friend’s concern. She moved her mouth to speak but promptly shut it closed when Mike sidled up to Rachel. “Great party, Donna,” he praised her, kissing her chastely on the cheek. “You look beautiful.”Donna gave him a playful shove. “Stop sucking up.”“I’m serious. I’m the luckiest guy here to be standing next to the both of you.” At the roll of both Donna and Rachel’s eyes, Mike smirked. “See, that was sucking up.” Donna noticed the precise moment that Mike noticed Harvey and Paula because his face warped into a look of confusion. “Harvey brought Paula Agard?”“She is his girlfriend, Mike,” Donna said primly. “Have you met her?”Donna thought back to the awkward moment in Harvey’s office just a few weeks prior and then to the woman’s own office a year before that.“A couple of times.”“How did that go?”“Mike.”“Fine, Mike,” Donna answered. “She’s good for Harvey.”“In what way?”

“She understands him.”“Yeah but not like-”

“Mike,” Rachel admonished her fiancé for the second time.Donna finished her champagne in one elegant gulp. “I’ll be right back.”She left for the bar, leaving Mike and Rachel to their own devices. God, she was being so transparent tonight. Having to plaster a smile on her face had never felt so exhausting. Only when she had another drink in her hand did she feel the tension drain from her shoulders. “I thought you hated champagne.”She whirled around to face Harvey. “Not as much as I hate being sober at parties.”Harvey smirked, tipping his own glass toward her. “Touché.”Without thinking, Donna reached out and adjusted Harvey’s shiny red tie. She pulled her hand back just as quickly, brushing off the oddly placed gesture with a faint chuckle. “I see you’ve finally decided to get into the holiday spirit.”Harvey gestured to her dress. “I see you have too.”“I was never the Grinch of the two of us, Harvey.”She watched as Harvey casually glanced around the busy library. “No date tonight?”The comment riled her, so naturally she went on the defense. “I wouldn’t waste a date on this party.”Harvey furrowed his brow. “You have before.”Donna sipped at her champagne. “I’m surprised you remember that far back.”“Are you mad at me?”“Why would I be mad at you, Harvey?”She waited, wondering if he would actually have the guts to say it. Because I’m here with Paula. She knew he wouldn’t though, because it would only result in a conversation that Harvey still wasn’t ready to have with her. Paula chose that exact moment to re-attach herself to Harvey’s side. “There you are.” Harvey jerked his head toward her. “Paula, I don’t think you two have been properly introduced.”Donna smiled widely, careful to maintain her poise even though the champagne was beginning to make her feel lightheaded. Paula returned the smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Paula, good to see you again.”“Again?” Harvey asked.“We’ve met before.”“In your office, no less,” Paula clarified. Donna eyed her curiously, but Harvey missed the look entirely. “It’s good to see you again too, Donna.” She glanced at Harvey then back at Donna. “If you’ll excuse us, I was hoping I might steal Harvey for a dance.”Harvey forced a laugh. “I don’t dance.”“Not well, anyway.”Harvey pretended to glare at her, but his smirk gave him away. It gave Donna just the tiniest bit of satisfaction when she noticed that Paula looked somewhat annoyed at the exchange. In the end she was still the bigger person.“I’m sure you can convince him, Paula. I’ll leave you to it.”Paula immediately took the cue, waving a quick goodbye to Donna and leading Harvey away to the makeshift dance floor. Harvey looked back at her, befuddled by her exchange with Paula. Donna didn’t take the bait. Instead she discreetly made her exit, eager to go to her office and decompress for a few minutes.She kicked off her heels the minute she stepped into her office and sunk into her chair. She longed for something stronger than champagne to wash away the bile in her throat. For all her talk about wanting to be happy for Harvey, she couldn’t stand to see it in person. She wasn’t alone for more than five minutes before she heard a light knock on her door.“It’s not like you to run from a party,” Harvey said as he entered her office.“I came in for the harder stuff,” she said with a vague wave of her hand.Harvey glanced at the untouched bottle of whiskey by her desk. Donna shrugged. “I haven’t gotten that far yet.”He rolled his eyes and plucked the bottle from her drink cart along with two glasses. He poured her glass first, sliding it across her desk while he took the seat opposite hers, then poured himself a generous helping. “Merry Christmas, Donna,” he said in that soft voice her only used with her. Donna tried to ignore how it made her feel and clinked her glass with his.“Merry Christmas, Harvey.”After he took a swig, Harvey blanched, “What is this?”“It’s not Macallan.”“You like Macallan.”“No, you like Macallan. I just…endured it.”She noticed the brief look of hurt cross his features before he could mask it. “It tastes fruity.”“Your office is literally next door, Harvey,” she said pointedly, with a touch of frustration.“No it’s fine. I’m sure I can – what’s the word you used? – oh yeah, endure it.”Donna polished off her glass. “Shouldn’t you be downstairs?”“Are you trying to get rid of me?”“With Paula.”Harvey clenched his jaw, then finished off his own glass. “You’re doing a shitty job of pretending you’re not pissed off with me.”Donna leaned back in her chair, surveying him. “Speaking of pretending, let’s not pretend that you came up here to bring me back to the party when you really want to know why I didn’t tell you I’d already met your girlfriend before tonight.”“Fine. I do want to know why you didn’t share that information.”Donna poured herself another glass and topped up Harvey’s – a polite, automatic gesture that she didn’t notice until she’d already done it. “It didn’t seem pertinent. She was in your office one day, I walked past and put two and two together.”“That was the only time?” he asked, evidently seeing right through her bullshit. “Why would you ask that?”“Because there was…I don’t know, tension or something.”Because Harvey doesn’t know what he’s missing…“That was the only time.”She had no desire to ever tell Harvey about the conversation she’d had with his new girlfriend, not when she’d put her trust in a woman who was only ever supposed to be Harvey’s therapist. “Donna, don’t lie to me.”Her eyes widened at the forcefulness of his words. “I’m not, Harvey.”“Then what was that back there?”“I just…didn’t expect to see her, that’s all.”It wasn’t a complete fabrication and it was enough to put a stop to Harvey’s line of inquiry. He stared into the bottom of his glass, then looked up at her with apologetic eyes. “You’re upset that I brought her.”“Harvey, she’s your girlfriend, it would be strange if she wasn’t here.”“I know but…we usually don’t bring dates to these things.”Donna was more than a little taken aback. “You haven’t for years,” he continued.“Maybe I just haven’t had any offers.”He scoffed. “You? Yeah right.”Donna smiled a little. “It didn’t feel right anymore.”Harvey sighed, guilt evident on his face. “You stopped because of me.”“Well you didn’t exactly roll out the welcome wagon when I brought a date along.”“Well, they weren’t good enough for you.”Donna quirked an eyebrow at him and Harvey damn near flushed, covering it with a sip of his drink. He never would have said that to her sober. “Harvey, how many times are we going to have this conversation?”“What conversation?”“The one where we tell each other that we’re both bothered when we date other people but we pretend that it’s normal for friends to feel that way.”Harvey shifted in his seat. “We’re different, though.”“Yeah, that’s the problem.” Donna pushed herself up from her desk and walked past Harvey. She slipped her heels back on, not daring to look back at him.“Donna…”She held out the door for him. “Your girlfriend will be looking for you, Harvey.”Harvey made no effort to move. She rolled her eyes, storming out of her office anyway, leaving him there. He caught up with her just as she stepped into the elevator. Figures this moment would be their only example of good timing. “I didn’t mean to rub your face in it,” he said as the doors closed. “I know it’s a shitty feeling.”Donna sighed, savoring the moment. That would probably be as close as Harvey would ever get to admitting he got jealous when it came to her.“I want you to be happy, Harvey,” she said for the umpteenth time, doing her best to convince herself that it was okay if it wasn’t with her.“I am.”“Then we’re good,” she assured him. He still seemed uneasy so she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He turned his head to her before she had completely pulled away, leaving only a fraction of space between their lips. It had been years since they had been so close to one another.The elevator chimed and Donna reared back. Harvey stepped out of the elevator the minute it opened, unable to meet her eyes. Donna stayed put, pressing the button for the ground floor. Only at the last second did Harvey turned around, realising she hadn’t followed him.Their eyes met just as the door closed; a scene she was intimately familiar with. She slumped back against the wall of the elevator. When she titled her head and noticed the mistletoe hanging above her head she let out a mirthless laugh. It was the one Christmas tradition that she loathed and she had rebuffed all requests to hang it anywhere near the library. She wouldn’t to read into the omen. Those plants were known for being poisonous.

#darvey #suits #darvey fic #prompt #rated t #author: thatswhatmyboobsarelike #author: purplecadet #one shot

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christyinchina-blog1 · 7 years

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China Keeps Testing Me

I know I made a decision to blog and that I’ve been very neglectful of that of late, but diving into a place like China… it leaves you a little preoccupied with what’s in front of you. I think maybe that’s been the biggest gift about this place, as well as perhaps it’s burden. I came to Beijing with a lot of weight on my shoulders. There were so many things about my life that were plaguing me, things I knew I couldn’t fix, but I knew I needed distance from. I think if I went anywhere else, I would still be preoccupied and trapped inside my own head, but not in Beijing.

This city wakes you up. This city takes you into its dark heart, ruthlessly tests you, and then keeps you in its grip. When you stare true poverty in the face, walk among the ill-kept streets, and become accustomed to the rough nature of the city, you face so many challenges on the daily that the bullshit you brought with you in an emotional back pack end up falling straight off your back, and you just open your eyes and push forward because if you don’t, this city will wreck you without a shred of guilt.

I’ve loved my experience in Beijing, but the truth is, it’s been hard as hell. I’ve been tested more in these last three months than I ever have in my entire life. I want to tell people that this is a great experience and that they should do it, but I can’t. This is not for everyone. I you can’t go without, if you can’t take every day with a go-with-the-flow or whatever attitude, this place is not for you. China is a rough place for a spoiled foreigner. Everything is difficult. Everything is a challenge. The adventure isn’t in the sight-seeing, it’s in the getting by. It’s in the perilous navigation of everyday life.

I’m about three months into my time here. I spent the entire first month in training and finally got into my own classes in August. It was a tough month because I had to cover a lot of other people’s classes and my load was really intense for being new to the job, but I got by. I put my head down that month and really didn’t think about much, other than pushing forward.

I’ve been very fortunate to have met many good friends who helped me through the entry phase. If you ever come to Beijing, make friends. That’s the only way you survive. If you can’t ask for help, stay home. I’ve struggled with this because I like to be independent, but here you need help sometimes. Not speaking Chinese is a bitch. I’m trying to crash course learn, but it isn’t easy because, while Beijing is a Chinese city, there’s just enough English that you naturally use it as a crutch. I’m trying so hard to rid myself of that habit.

My experience here has been interrupted by an unexpected medical leave. I went to the doctor and was told I had a golf-ball sized cyst and that it had to come out immediately. Being my stubborn self, I tried to put it off, but I started having severe pain at work, so I knew it was time to bite the bullet and just go.

The problem with being sick in China is that scheduling procedures is a little tricky. I went around in circles with the insurance, hospital, and my own doctor until I just broke down and conscripted someone to make the appointment for me.

The Chines hospital, my friends, is not for the faint of heart. I went to the international department, the implication being that there would be English spoken, and yes there was, but not to the quality you’d like if you’re about to have an operation. There was so much me not knowing what the hell was going on. They made me do tons of tests, but they didn’t really tell me why. They didn’t tell me when I was having my operation. I just went where they led me, did what I was told, and wondered what the hell would happen next.

I wanted to get frustrated with the situation, but I just kept two things in mind. One: if I was back in America, there is no fucking way I could afford this operation. Two: I’m in China and I don’t speak their language. It’s my own fault that I’m having communication barriers. I can’t get mad because, unless I want to live in an aggressive state of denial. I knew what the hell I was getting myself into.

After a whole day of tests, they admitted me to the hospital, and I had no idea that I was being admitted. Somehow, I just ended up in a room with a band on my wrist (that said my name was Christ and not Christy. Hahaha!) and I was like… oh shit, what the hell is happening next?

The doctor comes in and insists that I am in a delicate condition and I can’t leave. Well, I hadn’t planned to stay, so I literally had nothing with me. They insisted I could not leave, so I had to argue with them that, fine I would stay if they insisted (not that it was at all necessary) but I needed to go home first. They decided to operate on me the next day, so I went home, got provisions, and came back.

I’ll spare everyone the details of the operation prep, because it was not pretty. If you want to know, just google laparoscopic cyst removal surgery, cause I am not about to write anything about that nasty bullshit. It was a pretty intense night, being alone in the hospital. I’m sure people would have come with me if I asked, but I hate making a fuss about things, and I just needed to be alone and figure it out.

The next day, I had the operation. I was so calm about it; I don’t even know how I did it. Everyone I tell about this freaks out when I say I was put under in China. I had a friend come with me because they won’t operate without someone else there. I told my friend to not let them pull the plug on me. She was impressed at how completely unaffected I seemed that I was about to get operated on. I haven’t lost my cool since I first got to China, and I promised myself that I was going to be strong after my first week. I kept my promise.

It was so weird because, rather than letting me walk to the operation room, they made me get on a bed, wrapped me up in blankets like a taco, and wheeled me across the hospital like I was a corpse. It was stupid in my opinion and everyone looked at me funny because I was a foreigner.

When I got to the operation room, it was kind of freaky because literally no one spoke a word of English. The anesthesiologist put the oxygen mask on me, but they didn’t have the oxygen on! So I was breathing nothing and tore it off. She, annoyed with me, shoved it back on me. Then, I guess she realized it wasn’t on, so she turned it on and I gasped for air, and I took this huge breath of straight inhalation anesthesia. I remember the sensation of my lungs burning as I was gone in a second.

When I woke up, I was coherent. I always come out of anesthesia so strong. I wasn’t groggy at all. I was complaining to the staff because they kept stabbing my artery for an oxygen sample. They missed 7 times, I am not kidding, before I screamed at them to leave me alone, because for the love of god, I can breathe. They gave me a shot of morphine to shut me up.

They had no idea what to do with me. All the other people in the recovery room were out and I was running my sassy mouth in broken Chinese. Eventually, they wheeled me back into the room. They had me hooked up to so many machines, it was so unnecessary. EKG, blood pressure, pulse checker, oxygen, some stuff I don’t understand, and an IV. I was stuck like that for 25 hours and I made it known that I was unhappy.

The hospital was so weird. The nurses always came to check on me in groups. Like, twelve nurses at a time! I have no idea why. They’d come take my temperature, then leave me with the thermometer for over an hour before they would take it. I literally have no idea why.

I asked for some kind of pain medicine, because I had four incisions and could hardly move, but they were so insensitive. They wouldn’t even give me ibuprofen! Lucky I had some in my bag, but you’d think a hospital would be more sympathetic.

I pressed the matter because I was seriously miserable and they got so fed up with me that a nurse came in and, without even asking me, just stabbed me in the leg with a shot of some painkiller. I helped for about 20 min before I finally got them to IV me some ibuprofen. Seriously! The Chinese hospital acts like no one has ever wanted pain medication before!

I hated staying there. The staff was so profoundly unhelpful. I had to be proactive about insisting on getting food, else they’d have just let me starve to death. I stayed there two days and when it was done, I was so ready to leave.

It’s not like it is back home. The doctor came in the day I was going to leave, literally tore my bandages off my incisions with so much force that I almost screamed, and then was like “go home and take a bath.” No after care instructions. No information on when to follow up. No notice of when I can go back to work. Nothing. So I just left. In an American hospital, they would have wheeled me out to a wheelchair and made sure someone took me home, I literally just got up and waddled out of the hospital, then hunted a cab down to take me home.

My overall opinion of the hospital is that, if you need it, it isn’t awful, but do not expect any compassion and just suck it up, because it’s going to suck.

I recovered well. I’ve been taking it easy the last week or so. Surgery in China is a bit of a mind fuck, but I think it’s given me some serious perspective on so many things. I just feel lucky, that’s all. Beijing might want me dead, but it’s been good to me. I would have probably had this cyst rupture if I was back home, because at least in China, you get tests back immediately, rather than having to go through our bullshit system where you have to wait weeks to interpret an ultrasound that can literally be read on the spot. If I’d had to wait that long, there is a serious chance that I would have had to deal with major internal bleeding. I really can’t complain about any of this, even though the whole thing was a complete cluster fuck.

The really sad thing about this is that I had to come to China to get my health concerns addressed. Even with insurance, getting the appointments I needed were almost always damn near impossible back home. I can go see the doctor in such a timely manner here. It’s inexpensive. It’s usually decent care. Yeah, the hospital as a little shady, but my primary care is fantastic. What the hell is wrong with America that I feel more comfortable in a city that can’t figure out basic plumbing and electrical wiring getting my health addressed than I do back in the good old USA? These are the real questions.

China has made me feel very fortunate. Whatever disdain I have for my current situation, it’s not nearly as bad as what the Chinese people deal with. I get exceptional coverage through my company, but the average Chinese person… I caught one glimpse of the Chinese side of the hospital when taking all my tests, and let’s just say it isn’t a place I will ever return to voluntarily.

I’m one of the rich in this country, and I live like crap by American standards. This is the kind of perspective China has given me that I’m never going to lose. I just look at everything now and think: it’s really not that deep.

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