#I lost my shit in the produce aisle

[nolita-fairytale]

your past and mine are parallel lines | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader

summary: a run-in with an old friend sparks a conversation between you and carmy of the people you loved before each other. or rather, the one in which you meet claire.

warnings: use of she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, second person pov, swearing, tooth rotting fluff, not-your-normal jealousy fic, soft!carmy, lives in the world of make my heart surrender

wc: 3.9k

a/n: ok so hear me out: i just want to write about healthy relationships right now and that is where i'm at. this is not your normal jealousy fic and i hope you still enjoy! this lives in the world of 'make my heart surrender' because of course it does and takes place a month after my oneshot, j is for j beard and jealousy.

masterlist

It begins with forgotten carrots, tops attached, of course – a necessary ingredient to the dish that you’ve been working on all afternoon together. Usually, you’d go for a rainbow bunch, but for the puree, aesthetically of course, the classic orange carrot is much better suited. You’d hadn’t put them on the grocery list the day before, certain that you had a bunch or two at home sitting in your vegetable drawer, only to find mid-recipe development that you did not, in fact, have carrots at home. It doesn’t take long for Carmy to suggest a quick trip to the store, insisting that you come with him because this is a date, after all. 

It’s something you and Carmy have decided to do, now that neither of you are needed at the restaurant 24/7: a cooking date at home which, despite the fact that this date night was an idea born out of both of your desires to introduce more fun into your lives, will inevitably become a dish that Carmy tries to put on the menu anyways.

Divide and conquer is the strategy: while you hit up the produce aisle, Carmy is sent on a mission to procure a bottle of orange wine for dinner later tonight. 

But what’s supposed to be a simple Saturday afternoon grocery store run takes a turn for the intriguing as you hear a laugh – a woman’s laugh – and the familiar sound of your boyfriend’s voice muttering something about the name of his restaurant.

As you approach, you spot your boyfriend and the woman he’s found himself in a conversation with. Carmy leans against the refrigerator doors, his chest square to the brunette, bathed in neon blues from the refrigerator lights. 

“Because you’re the bear. And I remember you,” you hear her say. You observe carefully, the look of surprise and the blush that runs across Carmy’s cheeks in response to her words are not lost on you. 

There’s a palpable energy between them as they converse, and it feels as if all the blood is rushing to your head as you cut the tension with a single: 

“Hey.” 

As the brunette turns to you, you’re only a little taken aback by how beautiful she is. With long, thick, dark hair, she has piercing blue eyes, similar to the ones you’ve found yourself lost in in your years spent loving Carmen Berzatto. You feel almost silly as you stand there, holding a bunch of carrots in your right hand, suddenly grateful that your have your favorite of Carmy’s denim jackets tied around your waist (for “just in case the store’s got the AC blasting,” Carmy had reminded you before you left the house earlier). 

“Hi,” is all she replies, an almost too-friendly smile plastered to her face, as she takes a few steps towards you. “I’m Claire. I’m…” She trails off before stealing a glance over at Carmy before continuing with, “...an old friend. Of Carmy’s.” As the woman called Claire extends a hand out to you, you take it, giving her hand a curt shake as you introduce yourself. 

It dawns on Carmy, who has slipped into a state of what can only be considered as shock, that he probably should’ve introduced the two of you sooner as he mutters an apology under his breath. 

“Shit, yeah, sorry. I probably should’ve-. I uh, um, Claire. Yeah. This is uh, this is my girlfriend,” Carmy manages to get out, his face growing increasingly deeper shades of red as the words tumble out of his mouth. 

“Your-? Wow, oh my god! It’s-it’s so nice to meet you,” Claire replies, trying her best to hide the surprise in her voice as it increases in pitch with every word. 

“So… what’re you two up to-?” she begins to ask, looking from you to Carmy with wide, quizzical eyes. “Carrots. We’re uh…,” is the first thing that comes to mind as the words fly from your lips. “... buying carrots.” 

You realize how stupid it sounds, completely caught off guard, as you scramble to find any word in the English language that doesn’t sound as ridiculous as what you’ve just said. 

You wonder if this is how Carmy felt when you ran into Nate at the James Beard Awards about a month ago. 

At this rate, something’s gotta be in retrograde, right? you think to yourself as you try to push down your feelings of embarrassment. 

“Right,” Carmy mutters, while Claire tries to get the conversation back on track. 

“Well, it’s really good to see you, Bear. Really. I’ll have to stop by the restaurant sometime,” she says, preparing to excuse herself. 

“Yeah,” Carmy nods, still avoiding as much direct eye contact as possible. 

Bear.

It shouldn’t bother you as much as it does, and yet, you can’t help the feeling that wells inside of you as she says the name. 

The family name. 

His childhood name. 

It feels more intimate than it should, and maybe it is. 

You swallow, trying to shake the feeling. 

“Yes. Yeah, we’d uh… let us know. When you’re there,” you continue, exchanging a look with Carmy, who only nods along. 

“Oh, you’re a-, you work there too? At the restaurant,” Claire asks, eyeing the carefully drawn fruits and veggies that adorn the length of your arms, permanently inked there forever. 

“Yeah. Uh. Pastry chef,” you reply with a small laugh. 

She nods, almost as if she’s accepted an unspoken agreement – something you’re not sure you’ll ever know. 

“Well it was nice to meet you,” she says once more, shooting a soft smile in your direction, before excusing herself. “And it’s good to see you, Carmy.” 

As you watch Claire walk away, Carmy’s still frozen inside of what he thinks could be the most awkward experience of his month so far. 

“So… that was weird,” you say, as you turn towards your boyfriend. He mutters something in agreement because the only thing he can think of to say is, what the fuck just happened. 

And he’s barely figured that out. 

“Do… you want to talk about it?” you ask skeptically, dragging out the ‘o’ at the beginning of your question. 

“Not really,” he mumbles softly, shaking his head. 

“Great, me either,” you’re quick to reply, even though you both know that you’re going to have to talk about this eventually. 

—-------------------------------------

It seems to be a day of forgetfulness, as Carmy realizes that he’s left his notebook at the restaurant – something he’s been working out of for any and all new ideas, a habit you think he picked up from Syd. It’s not entirely out of the way, so the two of you decide to stop by on the way home. You enter through the back, hoping to skirt the tongue lashing you’ll both get for coming in – even just for a few minutes – on your day off. 

But a hall-pass just isn’t in the cards for either of you, as you’re instantly spotted, arm-in-arm, by Richie who’s just ended the pre-dinner shift all hands meeting. 

“It’s your day off! Get the fuck outta here,” Richie calls out to you with a shake of his head. “You two. I swear.” 

“I just forgot my notebook. We’re in, then we’re out. I swear!” Carmy defends himself, holding up his hands. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie dismisses him before issuing a warning with a wag of his finger. “You better not stay longer than five minutes, you got that?” 

“In and out. Scout’s honor,” you answer, before the abrupt interjection of Fak’s voice stops you from saying anything else. 

“Incomiiiiiiiing!” Fak cries, as he bursts through the doors. “Ahhhh man. Hey Carm! I heard you ran into Claire Bear.” 

Claire Bear?

You shoot Carmy a quizzical look that he’s more than eager to avoid. 

“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” Richie snaps as Carmy simultaneously lets out as: “Jesus fuckin’ Christ. What do you-? How? Already?!” “Fuck it’s been two fuckin’ seconds,” Carmy grits his teeth, trying his best to answer Richie’s question. “But apparently news travels fast.” He shoots you an apologetic look as he explains, “She’s uh… close family friends with the Faks.” 

“Ahhh,” you let out. “She seem good? Bet she was glad to see ya,” Fak inquires, overenthusiastically winking in Carmy’s direction. 

“Yeah she’s uh… she’s gonna be a doctor in a few months huh?” Carmy replies, trying his best to avoid Fak’s continuous winks. 

“Who the fuck is Claire?” Sydney asks, as she enters the conversation. Syd quickly notices the confused look on your face, in contrast to the embarrassed one on Carmy’s, and a more than eager Fak, much to Richie’s dismay. 

It’s as if he can read the situation in one look as Richie cuts in this time with an explanation:

“Will you stop it, fucko? Jesus Christ.” Richie turns his attention to you this time as shakes his head, brushing off Fak’s earlier comment. “She’s just a kid from the neighborhood. That’s all.” 

“Just a kid from the neighborhood?! You, Richie, you are not nice!” Fak exclaims. 

But Richie is faster, quick to dismiss the man as he cuts him off with a few sharp words about fixing his bowtie before dinner service starts. As they bicker back and forth, trading barbs like brothers, Carmy has returned to his ‘I really don’t want to talk about this’ body language, his shoulders slumped and completely avoiding eye contact. 

“Okay. Um…. Raise your hand if you’re off the clock but you’re acting really fuckin’ weird right now,” Sydney says, looking from you to Carmy, and then back to you. 

“I…” you try your best to explain to no avail – mostly because you’re not sure what to explain yet. 

“We should go. Let’s get out of here, yeah?” you propose, directing your attention towards Carmy again. You’re more than happy to be met with a nod as Carmy excuses himself, darting into his office to retrieve the notebook he came here for in the first place. 

You can tell that he’s not ready to talk about it, and after the weirdness today, you’re beginning to wonder more and more about this Claire girl. Carmy had never mentioned an ex-girlfriend. You knew that there were short-lived flings here and there throughout his twenties, but by the time you met him, it was just you and him, trapped inside your little bubble of denial and unspoken feelings until you weren’t. 

Claire doesn’t quite seem like an ex, but you could feel that she wasn’t just a girl from the neighborhood that Carmy grew up with either. 

“You good?” Sydney asks, immediately noticing your discomfort. 

“Yes,” you answer, unconvincingly. “Sooooo….?” Sydney begins to ask. 

So what’s going on? So what was that all about? 

“Girl, I will let you know when I know,” you answer, shooting her a matching look. 

“Godspeed, my friend,” Sydney replies with a salute, eliciting a much needed laugh from you. “I’m gonna get back to work but uh… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you nod, trying your best to shake off this weird feeling. 

As you watch her go, you’re too caught up in the what-the-fuck-ness of it all that you barely notice as Richie approaches. 

“You know you got nothin’ to worry about, right, sweetheart?” Richie asks you, interrupting the thoughts swimming around in your head. 

“No yeah. I-, he’ll tell me when he’s ready,” you reply, almost as if you’re trying to convince yourself. 

“You ready?” you hear Carmy ask. 

“Yeah,” you nod, before giving Richie a small smile because his reassurance means a lot. “Thanks, Richie.” 

As you wave goodbye, Carmy takes your hand before leading you out of the restaurant and en route towards home. There’s a thick tension between the two of you, filled with things left unsaid. It’s more of an awkward kind of tension as Richie’s words echo in your head: 

You know you got nothin’ to worry about, right, sweetheart? 

It means more to you than he knows – that Richie is in your corner. It’s not like the two of you are best friends, but you have a mutual understanding that you’ve been good for Carmen ever since you reentered his life. 

You’ve become a patient woman, knowing that, most of the time, Carmy has to come to you on his own time. You trust him wholeheartedly, and you trust that he’ll tell you when he’s ready. It just doesn’t help the anticipation that’s been building inside of you all afternoon. 

“You know. We’re gonna have to talk about this eventually,” you say, breaking the comfortable silence between you. 

“Yeah,” Carmy answers quietly, giving your hand a confident squeeze. And if it’s a promise, he adds, “Yeah, I know.”

—-------------------------------------

You’re barely paying attention to George Clooney’s portrayal of a former raider turned newspaper columnist of a fox, entirely distracted by your game of cat and mouse that you play with Carmy and his attention. You can feel his eyes on you as you take another sip from your wine glass, the funky and sour notes hitting your tongue as he watches you closely, your head hazy from getting towards the end of the second glass.  

Carmy sighs, shifting his body position, as if choosing the comfiest position will embolden him to tell you what’s been on his mind.

He lets out yet another sigh, this one much heavier than the last and you know he’s working up the nerve. 

You cradle your wine glass in your hands, giving the last of the orange elixir a swirl as you settle into the couch, your back pressed against the arm of it as you stretch your legs out in front of you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” you finally ask him, and he lets out one last sigh of relief, almost as if he’s been waiting for you to ask. 

“Uh… yeah, actually,” Carmy admits, hesitantly.

You’ve been waiting for him to get here, taking in the vulnerable look on his face as he searches for the words he thinks will best convey what he wants to say. “So… there was like… someone… before me, yeah?” Carmy drags out, his face soft as he asks you a question that takes you by surprise. 

You let out what can only be described as a laugh and a sob as you reply with: 

“What do you mean?” you choke out, the laugh that escapes your body providing much needed relief. 

It’s not what you expected. That’s for sure. 

“You know…” he trails off, before taking another deep breath because as much as he hates to admit it, it’s really the only example he’s got. “Like… I know… about Nate.” “Nate?!” you exclaim with an even bigger laugh. “Bear, are you… are you asking me about my exes?” 

“Uh… yeah…” he admits on an exhale, almost embarrassed to be asking. “I guess uh-, I guess I am.” In his bashfulness, you giggle, reaching out to give his arm a squeeze as you begin to understand that he’s ready to talk about what happened in the grocery store. 

Carmy takes a breath, and you watch his posture soften.

“Well, Nate barely counts as an ex. I don’t… That was more of a… one-time mistake kind of thing,” you admit, knowing that it wasn’t all that long ago that Carmy found out about it in the first place. 

“Right,” Carmy nods, his gaze focused on his knees for a moment because even though he brought it up, he’d really like to stop talking about Nate right about now. 

“But!” you begin, trying your best to meet him where he’s asking you to. “The guy I dated… right before I met you, Alec was… definitely someone I consider an ex. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah um… we were together for two years… just before I started working at our old spot,” you begin, willing to give him as much information as he wants. “So why didn’t it work out?” Carmy asks curiously. 

“I don’t know, babe. I racked my brain trying to figure that one out a ton when we first broke up,” you sigh, uncertain of how to answer that question. You take your time choosing to be as honest as possible in your explanation. “I think… I don’t know. He was never as sure about me as I was of him.”

“We were great together, y’know? He was kind, and smart… he made me laugh… And we were really happy together for a long time. I mean, I think we were exactly what each other needed as the people we were in that time of our lives,” you explain, elaborating on what really worked in your relationship with Alec. 

“But eventually, none of that stuff really mattered because all I wanted was to be with someone who felt as crazy about me as I did about them, you know? And… he wasn’t… entirely sure.” 

Carmy lets out a deep breath as he takes your words in. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he apologizes, as he feels the weight of your words. “I guess… well, I guess I didn’t know about all that.” 

“Well, I didn’t exactly tell you,” you shrug. 

Carmy thinks it over, wondering why he never asked you about your broken heart back then – not that he was ever really good about that kind of stuff  – the talking about feelings kind of stuff, and whatnot. 

But he wants to be good at it now. Or, at least he’d like to try. He wants to try to be good at it for you. 

“Guy’s a fuckin’ loser,” Carmy comments, a bitterness in his voice as he does. “I can’t imagine it.” 

“Hm?” 

“Not being crazy about you,” he answers, his tone confident as his eyes catch yours. 

Your heart flutters with the way he looks at you, and between his words and his certainty about you, you can’t regret the past – not even a little bit. 

“It’s okay, Bear,” you reassure him, and you mean it. “If Alec and I had stayed together… well, you and I never would’ve….” 

“Danced around each other for over two years?” Carmy points out letting out a dry laugh. “Right,” you chuckle in agreement, with a playful eye roll. 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

“We’re here now. Isn’t that what’s important?” you ask with a shrug and a half smile. 

This time, his tone much more serious, Carmy answers with a, yeah, that feels heavier than the previous ones. 

You and Carmy both take a beat, letting the reality of your life with each other sink in. It’s as if all the ‘no’s of the past lead you here to this moment, and you’d have it no other way. 

“So. Who… is Claire?” you ask, earning a groan from Carmy as he swears under his breath with a shake of his head. You stretch out your leg, just enough to poke him with your big toe as he chuckles, wanting nothing more than to avoid this question. 

“It’s just… well you’ve never really told me about any of your exes!”

“Well she’s not really… my ex,” Carmy blushes, averting his gaze once again. 

“Well, she doesn’t really seem like just a friend,” you point out, and it suddenly feels like you’re showing your entire hand. Carmy agrees with you on an exhale, reminding himself that he wants to try the whole ‘better at talking about feelings’ thing with you. 

“Okay. Uh… well… we’ve known each other for like… forever, I guess,” Carmy begins to explain running a hand through his curls. “Her family is close with the Faks and I-, I-, uh… well, I sort of… had this massive crush on her… like all throughout school.” 

“What?” you ask, genuinely curious about his sudden coyness. 

“It’s embarrassing!” he defends himself, with a dry laugh. 

“Carmy, it’s not!” you insist, sitting up straight this time to reach for his hand. “Was it weird for you? Earlier today?” 

“Uh. Kinda, yeah,” he confesses, stealing a glance your way. 

“Yeah?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Like… a lot. Was that… not obvious?” he shoots back, this time with a shake of his head. “I just-. I don’t know. It was weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?” you ask again, patiently. “Just… weird, babe,” Carmy answers honestly with a shrug of his own. 

You nod in understanding, wanting to give him the space to share more if he’d like to. It’s not that you were worried about Claire… but it had been weird, earlier today – and even stranger when no one was giving you a proper explanation. “I-, I-, it’s like. I had such a big crush on her. And I could barely work up the nerve to talk to her like… I was sort of just this-, this total fuckin’ loser,” Carmy continues, his eyes narrowing as he talks about a younger version of himself. “And now here I am… with my super hot girlfriend and I just-. I don’t know. It sorta uh… reminded me of like… a different version of myself.” 

“Yeah, no, I-, I get that. It’s… it’s such a weird feeling,” you empathize, exchanging a look with your boyfriend this time. 

You nod in understanding, only to be met with a laugh and another shake of his head as Carmy lets out a sigh of relief. “You’re being like… waaaaay too cool about this,” he points out, his voice lighter this time. 

“Oh yeah?” you ask with a quirk of an eyebrow. “Uh. Fuck yeah,” Carmy confirms, as you exchange a laugh. He shrugs once again, only a little embarrassed as he adds, “You know… I just… I kinda lost my fuckin’ mind. You know. About Nate.” You shrug, “That’s different. I-.” A beat. “Do you want me to be jealous?” “No,” Carmy answers. A beat. “Maybe?” And another. “I-, I don’t know. This is all so new to me!” 

“Carm,” you sigh, as you lean over, placing your wine glass down on the coffee table before scooting closer to your boyfriend as you continue. “You and I have been through so much together and there were days that I thought we’d never speak again… but somehow we still ended up here.” 

He grabs your hands, pulling you in closer towards him as you meet him pound for pound–all heart on both sides. 

“I trust you,” you reassure him, your fingers sliding perfectly between his. “And I know I have your heart… ‘cos I know you got mine.” 

“Ffffffuck,” Carmy exhales, in complete disbelief that you really are being too cool about this. “Seriously?!” 

You laugh, incredulously this time, as you decide to give your boyfriend just a little of what he may be looking for. “No, but. It did-, it was weird for me… today. With Claire. And then later at the restaurant when Fak brought her up. I mean… you weren’t lying. News traveled fast,” you admit, much to Carmy’s relief. 

“Neighborhood’s small. That’s for sure,” he agrees, equally uncomfortable with how quickly that got around. 

“And… She is like… really pretty. And… what? About to be a doctor so I guess that means she’s really fuckin’ smart. I mean-,” you continue. 

It doesn’t take Carmy long to realize that you’re trying too, deciding it’s best to put you out of your misery sooner rather than later as he cuts you off with a playful, “Oh shut the fuck up.” 

It’s your turn to laugh this time as you lean in, pressing your lips to his. 

Carmy inhales, breathing you in as he tries to memorize the way you smell, the way you taste, the way your lips feel nestled so perfectly against his. He pulls away just for a moment, intent on telling you something. 

“You do, by the way,” Carmy says, his declaration soft but sure. “Have my heart, I mean.”

“I know, babe,” you reply, with a smile. “I know.”

—-------------------------------------

a/n: if you've been wondering where i've been, i've been here! just living a whole lot of life offline these days. would anyone be interested in reading my thoughts on life? anyways, i feel like a hiatus was good for me, and now i have all this life i've lived that's inspired me to write again. i've been channeling a lot of my creative energy into other projects which has felt great and it also feels really good to be back.

[italicized-oh]

AHHHH HI HI WELCOME BACK!!! Sorry about academia hell, I am sending my well wishes and condolences for the sanity lost there…. BUT!!! YOU MADE IT THROUGH CONGRATS!!!! Glad to see you around again!!!!

In terms of prompts hmmm…. Starbreaker doing some shopping maybe? Unsure if it’s for The Plan or just normal groceries. Small moment of domesticity that I’m not sure either of them realize and/or like?

here you go!!!! hope it soothes the aches and pains of today <3

“I won’t do it.”

“Oh, really? You’ve agreed to everything else. What’s special this time?”

“I just…” Jace rubs his forehead. “I just need you to be normal about this, for once, please.”

Porter laughs, leans in closer to Jace, enveloping him in shadow. “Sweetheart, you know nothing about me is normal. Keep dreaming.” Jace rolls his eyes, the brat. It’s like he thinks Porter will somehow be different now that they’re– whatever they are.

Jace shoves ineffectively at Porter’s chest. “Come on, please, can we just leave it? Just this once? Call it a favor,” Jace gulps audibly, “I’ll owe you one.”

Porter grins sharper, puts two fingers under Jace’s chin and feels Jace press down into them, probably despite himself. “That’s not necessary, and you know it. Just gotta ask me real nice. You know how.”

Jace shivers and glares at the same time. It’s fucking adorable. Like a cat who turns away but checks over its shoulder to be sure you’re still paying attention.

“Um, excuse me?” 

Porter sighs deeply, not bothering to disguise his annoyance. Sees an aproned teen looking up at him with the apathy of those who have accepted they’re going to die. Raises his eyebrow. Ignores Jace squirming against the shelf.

“You’re, um, blocking the aisle, sir. Other customers need to be able to access–” they flick their eyes over to Jace “–the produce.”

Porter briefly contemplates having a staring contest with this kid, decides he is – marginally – better than that, and nods. Doesn’t move.

The kid, clearly aware of having done their job to the letter and no further, shrugs and walks away. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Jace hisses, finally ducking out from under Porter’s arm. “Fine. As long as you don’t pull this shit again, in public, for fuck’s sake–” 

“You love it, sweetheart, can’t fool me.”

Jace continues as if Porter hasn’t spoken. “–as long as this never happens again, I will eat vegetables with dinner tonight.”

Porter puts on his most angelic beam, letting his hand drift down from Jace’s chin and tucking his fingers under Jace’s scarf (cashmere, to the grocery store, bloody hell) to pet at Jace’s collarbone. “See? I knew you could do it.” Moves his hand down to palm Jace’s left pec, leans into Jace’s ear and whispers, “You’ll live. Promise.”

Jace has turned a fetching shade of maroon and the vein in his forehead is jumping. “Stop that, you brute. Gods, keep it in your pants.” But Jace doesn’t bat his hands away, Porter notes, and Jace only grumbles slightly louder than normal for the rest of their errands. 

What a cunt, Porter thinks, fondly. Can't fuckin' believe I'm gonna marry him.

[mayajadewrites]

For Me (Levi Ackerman x Reader

CHAPTER FIVE: MINE

Saturday morning comes and you have a few errands to run. First, you need to go to the grocery store and re-up on your favorites. Second, you need to stop at the bookstore and pick up some new books since you've finished the ones on your TBR (to be read). The weather in Trost is slightly warm today, which calls for no jackets. You slip on a cream sweater paired with jeans and your favorite pair of combat boots. 

You glance over at the vase on your kitchen island, marveling at the roses. You bring your nose to the petals and sniff gently, embracing the floral smell. An image of Levi pops into your head. You haven't spoken to him since he left last night and it was going to stay that way. You don't like to make the first move, and the way Levi left you feeling last night makes you want him to come to you first. 

It's the afternoon now as you load your groceries into the back of your car, organizing the bags by produce, frozen, etc. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket. This time, it's not a text. It's a call.

Levi

"Hello?" You press your phone to your shoulder as you finish with the groceries.

"Good afternoon. What are you doing?"

"I'm surprised you don't already know what I'm doing." You close the trunk of your car. "I just got finished with groceries, I'm heading to the bookstore now." 

"Which one? I'm meeting you there." 

"You don't have to. I'm sure you have plenty more important things –"

"I said what store." 

"The one on 7th ave near the coffee shop. I'll be there in about 15 minutes." 

"See you soon." Levi hung up on the call almost abruptly. Almost everything with Levi feels abrupt. The way he talks, the way he came into your life...

When you walk into the bookstore, you feel a sense of calm. You're in your element. The coziness of the store makes you want to curl up with a new book and read for hours. 

The worker that's always there when you are waves at you from behind the counter as she's checking someone out. You walk by a table, called "The Virals" and you see your latest romance novel. It still feels unreal that you're book was so well received. 

As you look at the table, you hear the bell ring behind you signaling someone walked into the store. You could feel goosebumps on your skin as the footsteps approached you. 

Levi's hand gently grabs one of your hips to spin you around to face him. You're surprised when his hand stays in that place, his index finger making its way through your belt loop to pull you closer to him. Your face was dangerously close to his now. 

"Hi." You smile, not sure if you should be touching him back. Levi pushes a piece of hair behind your ear as he analyzes your face. 

"Have you been sleeping well?" He asks, cupping your chin with his hand. 

"You could've just told me I look like shit." You look away, rubbing your right eye. "I didn't sleep well last night, no." 

"If I thought you looked like shit I would've said that." Levi's hand left your face as he looked at the table you were standing at. "That's your book?" Levi pointed to the sage green cover. 

"Yes it is." You nod, grabbing a book from a different pile and scanning the back. You see Levi out of the corner of your eye grab your book and tuck it underneath his arm. "You don't have to buy it, I could've given you a copy."

"No." Levi shook his head. "Actually, I need two. My cousin would love if you signed one and I want one for my personal collection." Levi grabbed another copy of your book.

As you explore the aisles of the bookstore, Levi stays close behind you. He occasionally touches your hands, making sure you know he's there. You find yourself lost in the romance aisle, the words on the pages seemingly wrapping around you. You look up from whatever trance you're in to see Levi half smiling at you. When your eyes meet his, the smile is gone. 

You have 4 books in your hands as you make your way to the cash register. "Did you want to look some more?" Levi asked.

"My hands are full, so these are fine." 

"I can hold them. Go look some more." Levi held his hands out. Your eyes travel to them, staring at each vein. You bite your lip gently when you see the same silver rings from the photo he sent you from the coffee shop the other day. 

"Okay." You hand him the books, turning back to the fiction section of the store. 

You find 4 more books and decide that 8 is enough for your TBR. You smile when you walk side by side with Levi to the register. Levi sets the books on the counter gently, pulling his wallet out.

"No, you're not paying." You put your hand on the one that's holding the wallet. 

"When you're with me, you don't pay. I don't want to see you even glance at your purse." Levi handed his card to the cashier. Her eyebrows raised when he said that, giggling.

"He's a keeper." She winks, sliding his card through the machine. "Let me know when you publish your next book! We would love to do an event here. You have a lot of local fans." 

"Will do!" You try to grab one of the bags off the counter but Levi stops you. 

"Why are you always trying to do something that I'm perfectly capable of doing?" You say as Levi opens the door for you.

"Because I want to. Where's your car?" 

"Down the block a little." You point. You see Levi's Range Rover parked at the opposite end. 

"Do you have plans today?" Levi asked you after he loaded the bags in your car.

"I don't. The bookstore was my last stop for the day. I just have to put my groceries away." 

"I'll help you. I'll see you at your place." Levi helped you into your car, closing the door for you. You watched as he walked to his car, occasionally looking back at you.

Levi somehow gets to your place before you. You watch as he scrolls through his phone, leaning on his car door. He looks so effortlessly sexy. He's wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans, along with a pair of sleek sneakers. 

You park next to him and unlock your doors, allowing him to grab your bags. He takes your books up first, then your groceries.

Levi sets the bags on top of your kitchen island, glancing in each bag. "Looks like you already organized them." 

"I did. I always do. It's much easier to put them away when I do that." You start with the produce bag, adding fruit to your fruit basket on the counter. Levi helps you put your groceries away, just as meticulous as you. 

"I'm gonna light a candle." You grab a match from your drawer, lighting your favorite candle that smells like fresh laundry. 

"Where do you want me to put your books?" Levi asked. 

"Oh, you can put them in my room." You point. 

You watch Levi carefully open the door to your room, setting your books down on your desk. When he comes out of your room, he has the bouquet of flowers Jean gave you. 

"Did horse face give you this sad excuse of a bouquet?" Levi held it in his hand.

"He did." You forgot you put them in a small vase on your desk. Levi walked over to the trash can and stuffed the flowers in it. 

"Tch. He should be embarrassed." He shook his head. You lean your hip on the side of the counter, smiling at Levi. 

"You're cute when you're jealous." 

"Jealous? Of him? Absolutely not." Levi chuckled. "He can't even pick out flowers correctly." Levi took a step closer to you. His eyes went from your eyes to your lips as he stepped closer. 

"You sound pretty jealous to me." You tilt your head to the side, waiting for a reaction. Levi's face was like stone. More like a Renaissance sculpture, actually. His jawline probably took years to work on. He's truly a work of art. 

"I'm only jealous of whoever got to have you before me." Levi took one more step to you. His nose was grazing yours as you couldn't help but let out a breath. He is so close to you. "I'm jealous of any of the other men that got to touch you," He brings his hands to your hips, eliminating any space that was left between you. "Anyone else that got to feel your skin, taste you-" Levi pressed his nose to your hair, almost inhaling your scent. "Anyone who felt your lips belonged to them." He looked into your eyes with his heavy lidded ones. 

You slowly wrap your arms around his neck, letting your fingers get lost in his raven locks. 

Almost like a magnetic was pulling you two together, Levi's lips crashed against yours. They're soft but move with purpose. He makes sure every inch of your lips has been taken care of as he caresses your curves. You can feel the heat between your legs start to ignite as Levi's tongue invades your mouth. 

Too soon, Levi pulls away. "Those lips-" He kisses you again. "That nose." He kisses your nose quickly. "This face." His index finger drags along your cheek. "You. You're mine now."

[redistrictgirl]

What's the deal with North Carolina and Georgia?

So we have our first weird quirk of this presidential election - North Carolina seemingly polling much less favorably for former President Trump than Georgia, even though he won NC and lost GA in 2020. Indeed, my polling average has Mr. Trump leading by over two points in the Peach State but only half a point in the Tar Heel State, so today I wanted to analyze the phenomenon more closely and come up with a few different factors that might be contributing to this.

First, let's go over the one that Republicans will want to talk about and Democrats fear, polling error. In 2020, President Biden led polls in North Carolina by a point more than he did in Georgia, yet lost the former by about 1.5% while winning the latter narrowly. Clearly, this is the same situation and a harbinger of a red wave, right?

Calm down there. First, yes, state-level polls produce outcomes like this from time to time, but it defies logic to assume that pollsters didn't attempt to correct for their genuinely disastrous misses in 2020. Second, there are more undecided voters in North Carolina, which could certainly cause the gap to close as we trudge towards November. Finally, even if we ignore those first two factors, the current polling gap between the two Southeast states is bigger than 2020's - so any polling error must not be the only factor.

This brings us to a possibility that liberals would prefer - the post-Dobbs coalition applying to its first presidential election. For those who haven't seen me use this term before, this describes the depolarization of party coalitions along racial lines in favor of increased polarization along religiosity lines - a phenomenon we started to see in 2020 but really took hold and accelerated in 2022. If it accelerates this year, it would be a boon for Democrats along the Rust Belt and in more secular Sun Belt states like Arizona and Nevada. Certainly, there's some compelling evidence that these demographic shits might be a factor or even the primary driver of the disparity - for one thing, at the state government level, North Carolina actually voted to the left of Georgia on average last cycle! Part of this is the across-the-aisle appeal that Governor Kemp and Secretary Raffensperger have proven to have, but it was still somewhat of a surprise to see that outcome in practice during the midterms. Georgia also had 6% more black voters compared to North Carolina (relative to overall turnout), so the racial depolarization aspect of this equation makes sense here, and we're seeing the strong polling along the Blue Wall for Vice President Harris that would match our hypothesis.

That said, I have a couple of problems with this theory. First, North Carolina actually has more evangelicals in its voter pool than Georgia, so religious polarization should be a problem for Tar Heel Democrats. Second, we're not seeing big polling surprises in Florida, which is more secular but is still a Southeast state, is extremely racially diverse, and just came off an R+20 election in 2022.

Finally, let's look at the boring option, a different pool of pollsters in Georgia vs. North Carolina. It's August, so we aren't going to see a glut of data yet (which is reflected in my model). So let's just do an apples-to-apples comparison of polls from both states around the same time and by the same pollsters, based on which had more favorable margins for Ms. Harris:

GA +2 (Morning Consult, late July)

GA +1 (Redfield & Wilton, late July)

NC +1 (BSG/GS Strategy Group, late July)

NC +6 (NYT/Siena Group, mid-August)

GA +2 (Redfield & Wilton, mid-August)

That's a much slimmer difference in North Carolina's favor on average, and really driven by one massive outlier poll (by the New York Times, but still!) It looks very likely that we're dealing with selection bias at the moment.

So in conclusion, the North Carolina rating being to the left of Georgia is probably a nothingburger driven by small sample sizes, but watch to see more signs of the post-Dobbs coalition going forward - it could make the 2024 map look weird.

[pastafossa]

So I decided I was going to make STORM WONTONS since we have a snowstorm rolling over us this afternoon and I raced over to my local supermarket to get the last few things I needed. I'd never been to this particular store before but I figured it'd be a quick trip cause how hard could it be to find wonton wrappers right??? Haha.

WRONG.

I spent 20. FUCKING. MINUTES. Hunting for wonton wrappers that the internet CLAIMED this store had (but not where). TWENTY.

Was it in the asian foods section? No.

Refrigerated? Nay nay.

Pastry shells and shit? Noooope.

A pair of workers who'd presumably seen me wandering like a lost baby animal took pity on me. "Need help?"

Me, tiredly: "My quest for cheese wonton supplies has hit a snag. Do you guys have wonton wrappers?"

Guy #1: "I've only been here like 2 weeks."

Guy #2: "uuuh... OH! Produce section, under the juice."

Me: "The... why?"

Dude #1, who is also visibly confused: "Why is it with the juice?"

Dude #2 shrugging: "I dunno. Manager said put them there so we put them there."

Me: "Thank you, what about the squeezy onions? I couldn't find that or minced garlic in the jarred veggies or spices or condiments or baking aisles."

Dude #2: "Yeah those are also in the fresh produce section, with some other jarred vegetables that should probably be in the jarred vegetable aisle."

Me: ???

Dude #2: "I try not to think about it. It's how I survive."

[twostepstyless]

Lost

Fic Advent Calendar Day 21

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Authors Note: It's time for the big Christmas food shop and Harry get's lost looking for sprouts! Back on my bullshit of being Big Tesco's biggest fan.

Likes, Reblogs and feedback of any and all varieties is always appreciated! Four ficcies left! :( -G xx

Word Count: 1.1k

SFW

———

“Am I getting a big trolley or just a little one?” Harry asked, locking the car by pointing the key over his shoulder as they walked across the crowded carpark of the big Tesco, dodging a teenager behind the wheel of a Corsa who didn’t see them walking across the zebra crossing. 

“Get a big one, we’re going t’need it,” Y/N said, walking into the supermarket as Harry made his way to the trolley park, spinning the empty trolley round as he approached Y/N at the front of the shop. “Would y’give it a rest before you take out a child or a granny,” Y/N chastised with an amused grin on her face as she put her hands on the end of the trolley, stopping it in its motion, as Christmas music blasted over the speakers in store and stressed staff moved around with cages and crates of stock all while plastering smiles on their faces while wearing a plethora of Christmas jumpers, t shirts and Santa hats as they worked.

“You’re getting dead boring as you get older,” Harry joked, “you used to let me put you in the trolley and spin y’round in it,” he jolted the trolley towards her to spook her, not close enough to touch her but she did jump a foot in the air. 

“I still do let y’spin me round in it, y’did it the last time you were back, and the trolley tipped over in the bread aisle, remember?” Y/N smirked, handing him her handbag that he placed in the baby seat that unfolded in the cart. “Maybe, let’s just not when the shops busy, yeah? I don’t think that would go down well,” Y/N led them to the produce aisles first, pulling out her paper list. 

“How many times did you rewrite the list this year?” Harry looked over her shoulder at the piece of A4 paper that had been folded, unfolded, and refolded so many times it left permanent creases on the paper, the blue biro of her handwriting only legible to her, and Harry if he really focused on it. 

“Three I think, lost the first copy, then made the second, then lost that one, rewrote it then found the second copy, but I’ve brought the third version because that definitely has everything on it,” she scanned down the list, “oops, apart from carrots,” she fished out one of their reusable produce bags from the trolley and loaded it up with the vegetable. 

“Let me have a look,” Harry plucked the piece of paper from her hand and pulled it over her shoulder into his own line as he scanned down the list. “M’love, y’havent even put the turkey on the list,” Harry looked bemused.

“Yeah, I have,” she stretched on her toes to read over it, “it’s right there,” she pointed to a scrawled word. 

“Baby, that does not say turkey, it say’s something but it’s certainly not turkey,” Harry snorted. 

“Oi, f’you’re going to chat shit, you can keep your mouth shut,” she snatched the list back and tossed a couple bags of potatoes into the cart before going off to pick out more vegetables as Harry followed her like the dutiful boyfriend he was. 

*** 

“This is bloody mental,” Harry groaned, “if we’re hosting next year, we’re ordering all this online,” Harry directed their trolley along one of the aisles, dodging the other shopping carts like they were bumper cars.

“It’s four days before Christmas, gorgeous, it was always going to be heaving,” she dodged a man on a mission who was loading his trolley up with steaks and cuts of beef and the biggest turkey he could grab from the shelf. Although their trolley looked similar, with the added salmon. “Are you cooking the beef?” Y/N asked picking up a joint of meat, checking it over before it landed in the trolley. 

“Mhm, I’ve got it down to a fine art.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Y/N groaned, looking down at the trolley. 

“What is it?” 

“I forgot to get Brussel sprouts,” she pouted.

“Not many people eat them, m’heart, are they a must?” 

“Yeah, my mum and brother love them, will y’go back and get a bag or two?” she fluttered her eyelashes at him as Harry rolled her eyes at her non-verbal pleading. 

“Of course, reckon you can commandeer the trolley for a little while?” he asked passing it off to her as she wandered off to the cheese selection with it, picking out various blocks for her cheese board she would prepare. 

*** 

It had been nearly twenty minutes, and Harry hadn’t returned, if she didn’t know as Harry as well as she did, she wouldn’t blame him if he decided to leave the store to sit in the car to wait for her to be done, but Y/N knew him and then heard the announcement over the stores PA system, “Could Y/N Y/S/N, a customer shopping in store please attend the customer service desk,” Y/N heard her name and felt her face heat in embarrassment before rolling her eyes and heading towards the front of the store. 

“You are a fucking nightmare to do the food shop with,” she giggled as she approached Harry who was stood looking like a lost child next to the customer service desk. 

“I couldn’t find you, I got the sprouts and went back to find you by the cheese and y’weren’t there and then I went wandering and walked up to some woman in the same coat and Y/N I bloody hugged her from the back thinking it was you and she looked at me as if I was mental,” Harry rhymed off, putting the sprouts in the trolley as well as some of the dessert treats he picked up on his lost wander around the store, then hung on to the trolley, that Y/N pushed, like a child with their mother doing the food shop so he wouldn’t get lost. 

*** 

“This is the worst bit,” Y/N groaned, pulling another bag for life along the floor of the hallway to the kitchen, as Harry began unpacking them and putting all their ingredients for their Christmas Day meal, and enough food to keep their families going while the visited, away in the fridge and cupboards. 

“You’ve got the easy bit, dragging the bags in, I’m the knob that volunteered to put them away,” he called after her as she went back out the front door to get another bag from the car. 

“That’s why I love you!” she shouted back down the hall as Harry huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Oi! Y’never said it back,” she said when she came in with the last bag, closing the door behind her and dumping the car keys on the entry table. 

“I love you too, so much, however, I’ve got some bad news…” he tailed off. 

“What?” Y/N face went deadly serious. 

“We forgot the turkey,” Harry deadpanned. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” 

———

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[kodzukenmaaa]

MITCHELL | Jake Seresin

Chapter two; Ciel

"Attention on deck!" A loud voice boomed in the area. Everyone stand up from their chair as Admiral Bates made his way to the podium.

"Good morning. Welcome to your special training detachment, sit down." They all sat down. "I am Admiral Bates, call sign Warlock. You are all Top Gun graduates; the best of the best but that was yesterday. The enemy's new fifth-generation fighter jet levels the playing field. We no longer possess the technological advantage. Success depends on the man or woman in the box."

Hangman put his gaze on Phoenix who noticed and silently pull out her middle finger towards him.

"Half of you will make the cut and only one of you will be named mission leader, The rest will attend to any reserve roles necessary."

"Your instructor is one of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. His exploits are legendary. What he has to teach you may very well mean the difference between life and death," Warlock remarked as they heard echoing footsteps walking up the aisle.

All the pilots turned their heads to the newcomer, Hangman, Coyote, and Payback looks away out of fear and embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Bradley sunk in his chair a little.

"I give you Captain Pete Mitchell, call sign Maverick."

Warlock stepped away from the podium letting Maverick take over. "Good morning," he held up the manual book for F-18. "The F.A.T.-18 NATOPS, This book contains everything they expected you to know about your aircraft. I assume you all know it well."

"Damn right."

"Damn straight."

"No shit."

Maverick tossed the book to the trash beside him, "And we're off." Hondo mumbled.

"So does your enemy, but what the enemy doesn't know is your limits. I intend to find those limits and push beyond them, so today we will start with what you think you know, you show me what you made of." He continues.

A door clicks open and is soon followed by echoing footsteps, all pilots automatically turn their heads, and once again Jake Seresin looks away.

Admiral Bates lifts his head, "Lieutenant Mitchell you're late." He said.

"Apologies sir." She nods her head, walks to the front, takes something out from her pocket, and gave it to the captain, "My father has lost his glasses."

Cue for Jake Seresin to winched at the news, last night he was hitting on the Captain's (that he had thrown out from the bar) daughter.

"Thank you, have seat." Maverick sends a smile at his daughter, Y/n winks at him with a smile, she takes a scan between the naval aviators searching for her new assigned backseater. Her eyes have a small amused glint when her eyes stop at the man that was hitting on her last night who offered her a smile, the smile gave her a slight warmness in her stomach.

She look away and stop a man who was adjusting his seat, she walked toward him and gave him a nod "You're Mickey Garcia?"

"Yes, ma'am. Call sign Fanboy." He answered.

"Hm, Nice to meet you I'm Y/n Mitchell, call sign Ciel."

Maverick dismissed the group to grab their gear and head to their respective planes.

As she talks to her new back seater a hand grabs her wrist making her turn around to see her brother's figure, his jaw was clenched showing that he is pissed. "Did you know?"

"I just know this morning. I tried to tell you but I didn't have any time, sorry B." She gives him a sympathetic smile.

"Well, at least you tried to tell me," Bradley sighs, "heard you shot down five from your last mission."

"I'm not very proud of it, it made me lose my backseater. They tried to shoot me down first so I had to do it. My backseater's wife didn't like how I handle it and said I was too dangerous. So he quit."

"She's not wrong." He commented.

Fanboy somehow looks terrified yet excited at their comments. As they walk to their assigned plane.

"Rooster, Bradley." Someone called, and the said man did not turn back or stop in his tracks just continued walking to his plane ignoring the call.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw," Maverick stated.

"Yeah, can't ignore that one can't you, see you later." Y/n pat his shoulder nodding at Fanboy to give the two some time.

As she and her WSO walk to their plane she feels a pair of eyes staring at the back of her head. She turn around to see Jake Seresin staring at her with the corner of his lips tugging upwards, she sent him a wink and unconsciously smile at him with a toothy grin making him look away.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Maverick made everyone do a warm-up before splitting everyone into pairs, those who were not called up yet returns to the hangar and listened in from the radio.

"Good morning aviators, this is your captain speaking," Maverick said. "Welcome to basic fighting maneuvers. As you were briefed, today's exercise is dog fighting. No missiles. Guns only and no going below the hard deck of five thousand feet. Work as a team to shoot me down or else."

"Or else what sir?" Y/n asked into the comms.

"Or else I shoot back."

"How about we put skin in the game, to make it fun you know," Y/n suggested, wanting to add some more fun in the air.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Whoever gets shot down first has to do two hundred pushups." Y/n inquired.

"Gosh, that's a lot of push-ups."

"They don't call it an exercise for nothing, sir." Fanboy comments.

"You just got yourself a deal Fellas, let's turn and burn," Maverick says, Maverick's jet soared between the jets of Y/n, Fanboy, and Bradley. Catching them off guard.

"Holy shit!" Fanboy scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Maverick makes Y/n and Fanboy his first target to shoot down first, "Ciel Where's your wingman?" He asks preparing to press the trigger on them.

"IS THIS A PAYBACK FOR WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?" Y/n yelled to the coms, "Rooster where are you? Get him off me!"

"I got you, I'm coming. Hang in there hang in there." Rooster says flying in front of Maverick.

"Ciel break right!"

"Breaking right!" Y/n and Fanboy were saved but now Maverick has a new target in front of him.

"Rooster just saved your life but it's going to cost him."

"Not this time old man!" Bradley glares at Maverick.

"Don't let him get to you Maverick," he says to himself.

"Rooster you're too low. Pull up, you're hitting the deck!"

"Oh shit."

Rooster pulls up only to get locked by Maverick. "That's a kill," Maverick says as he sighs but the alarm went off.

"And that's also a kill," Y/n said from behind, snickering at her dad. "That's how you bury a fossil everyone."

They all watch as Bradley does his two hundred push ups outside, Y/n shakes her head at the cruel sight if her friend doing the push-ups. She was way too cocky to suggest that game.

"Should be us down there." Fanboy says as he watches Bradley with his pilot through the window.

"But it's not." They look beside them to see Phoenix, "Now you know a little something about Rooster."

The next team was no good than the first, only Y/n managed to get a single lock on his aircraft.

"That's a kill," Maverick said.

"Damn!"

"Smoked."

"Shit."

Then Maverick decided to get Ciel and Fanboy as his partner for the game. To bring in more heat.

"Hey, Phoenix, how about we tell everybody that Bob stands for something, other than just Robert," Hangman says through his comms, looking at Phoenix's aircraft.

"Don't take the bait, Bob. Wanna know why we call him Hangman?" Phoenix questions.

"Wait, I got it. Baby On Board." Hangman jokes. As he laughs Maverick and Y/n passed in between the two.

"Oh shit!" Hangman shouts.

"Greeting Aviators fights on."

"Breaking right," Bob watches Hangman leave, "Where's he going?" Bob asks.

"That's why we call him Hangman, he'll always hang you out to dry."

"I'll take care of him," Y/n said to the comms. Pulling up to chase Hangman.

"Copy that." He watches Hangman being chased with Y/n's aircraft. "Leaving your wingman, there's a strategy I haven't seen in a while." Maverick comments.

"He called you a man Phoenix, you gonna take that?"

"As long as he doesn't call you a man."

"Talk to me Bob, Where's Maverick?" Phoenix asked. "Get him off me, Hangman!"

"For all you folks at home, this is how you bury a fossil," Hangman said as he pulled up behind Maverick preparing a lock on him.

"Might want to watch your back Hangman." Fanboy said as Y/n sped up to Hangman.

"Alright Hangman time to teach you a lesson, you're out Phoenix" Maverick said as he put the lock on Phoenix and Bob.

"Son of a bitch!" Phoenix cussed.

"You're going to take care of that sweetheart?" Maverick said to his daughter.

"I can handle him, thanks. You should do your push-ups " Y/n said, giggling. Hangman suddenly pulled up and start to chase her, she immediately pull the defensive maneuver.

"Alright Ciel, let's see what you got."

"Is he still with us?" Y/n asks Fanboy.

"Yeah! He's just behind us." Fanboy responds, Y/n looks behind her to see him still chasing her.

"Looking for me, Ciel?" Hangman asked with a cocky tone. She can imagine him saying that with a smirk on his face.

"Alright let's end this game," Y/n said pulling up to the sun with Hangman close behind her. Pulling the trick her dad once showed her.

"Shit," Hangman said as he squint his eyes to spot Y/n aircraft in the sun. "Phoenix I can't see her, how close am I?" He asks Phoenix not aware that she's already after being in a missiles lock by Maverick.

"I'm dead dickhead." Phoenix says in the comms.

"See you in the afterlife bagman," Bob added.

Hangman starts to look around and finally, he noticed that there's no aircraft in front of him. His search was cut with the alarm blaring, telling him that he was in a missile lock.

He looks behind him to see them, "That's a kill." Y/n stated with Fanboy cheering behind her.

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They repeated the practice with Maverick killing them easily without breaking a sweat but it's a challenge when it comes to the young Mitchell. Maverick was genuinely happy and impressed by her skills and he believed that his talent was passed down to her.

Bradley, however, takes it a bit personally, he and Maverick were sent into a downward spiral that immediately broke the hard deck rule with their ego way too big but Maverick managed to put a shot on Bradley and he sent Bradley back to the base for his pushups.

Hondo took pity on Bradshaw, "Okay that's enough Rooster." But he was arrogant he kept doing his pushups, pushing his body for more pushups with his body which was at the edge of exhaustion. "Come on man that's enough." But he did not stop so Hondo just leave him be.

"Damn BradBrad I thought I was the only one who always had the hard deck rule. Are you trying to copy me?" Y/n smirks, kneeling beside him while chewing a piece of gum.

She didn't get any reply or anything she took that signal that he wants to be alone, "Alright talk to me whenever you're ready Brad Brat."

A gasp left Bradley's mouth, "You did not just pull that nickname" He said stopping his pushups and starting to sit after all the push-ups he had done.

"What do you mean? You mean Brad Brat?" Y/N said innocently, with a mischievous smile.

"You did not just pull that name on me seal" Bradley smirks as Y/n gasps at that nickname.

"How dare you" They start to bicker back and forth, from the distance Maverick shakes his head at the two remembering the old times when they were little and they would start to bicker like they were siblings by blood.

"You know I'm done talking with the chicken," Y/n huffed walking away from the man.

"ITS ROOSTER!"

"Bye chicken!" She waved, leaving the area.

After taking a shower and changing her clothes, she leaves the place to buy herself a meal. The gum is only to trick her stomach that she's eating. A hand shot up and circle her wrist and push her to a wall.

"Oof!" She looks up to see the Ken doll himself, Jake Seresin aka Hangman. She gave him a side smile "What can I help you Kenny doll," She teased him.

Her tease made its way to his mind making the corner of his lips tug upwards, "I didn't know the Navy hired a model this day."

"Yeah, they decided it's time to have a queen walking around in this place." She crosses her arms. "I also didn't know they start to hire a Ken doll."

"You also forget to tell me that you're the Captain's daughter." He added.

"Yeah, It's always fun you know seeing someone's reaction when it's revealed that I'm the Captain's daughter, I mean come on your face before that was hilarious" Y/n laughs before patting his cheek, "Anyway see you tomorrow, bagman."

She slips from under his arm and walks out of the area with his eyes watching her walking away figure. Something is blooming and it's definitely not a flower.

🗒 ❛ note༉‧₊˚✧

Hello! I'm so so sorry for the long wait for the update, I did have much ideas for the past couple of months and I decided to ask my friend what to do to bring more tension between the two.

I hope you enjoy it, see you soon!

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

I have come for the blorbos

Get in losers (affectionate), we’re going shopping!

Who’s the:

“Get my shit and gtfo” speedrunner

“You hit dairy, I’ll hit produce, meet at checkout #4” commander

“If it’s not on the list, it’s not going in my cart” parent (regardless of parental status)

“The store brand is just as good” frugalist

“How will I know I don’t need something if I don’t go down every aisle” browser

“Ooh! Look!” impulse shopper

“Never shop on an empty stomach” food court prioritizer

Hahaha XD I love this. Let's roll out. And yes I will be doing all of my ocs

1. Greeter (Space Don't Dictate Fate), Green (Robots & Gardens)

2. Cosma, Arc, and Tharion (Space Don't Dictate Fate)

3. Saz (Fucked at Five), Donnie (Robots & Gardens)

4. Ian (Fucked at Five), Digits (Robots & Gardens)

5. Hollis and Peace (Robots & Gardens)

6. Elliot (Fucked at Five)

7. Julie (Fucked at Five)

XD The Fucked at Five crew is pretty spread out. Saz will eventually toss Elliot in the cart so he stops getting distracted and lost in the store. Saz also gives up on trying to drag Julie around the store. Saz and Ian get into arguments when he picks up store brand pop tarts and bread.

The Space Don't Dictate Fate crew have a singular outlier, Greeter. While everyone is breaking off and making progress. Greeter eventually decides fuck it and speedruns it by herself, mostly for the challenge. A little bit to spite and annoy Cosma. Tharion catches wind of this and is sure to move in slow motion to spite both of them.

The Robots & Gardens crew are a little less spread out but Green is the true outlier. Donnie keeps them on track and allows all of Digits off brand buys as the somewhat cheapskate he is. They also don't want to hurt Digits feelings by telling her that knockoff doritos can never be equivalent to the real thing. He lets Peace and Hollis wander and flips off Green when she either hovers over them angrily/impatiently or is already checking out and leaving them.

[makeusfly]

More Light Than Heat, Chapter 20

Piercing Lights in the Dark

previous chapter

read on AO3

masterpost

Now

It took an hour after the firework smoke settled for the backyard to clear out.  Linda waved through the sliding doors before flipping the lights off, leaving Phineas, Isabella, and Ferb alone with the stars.

“I’d say today was pretty successful.”

Isabella produced a half-full bottle of champagne seemingly from nowhere.  Taking a swig, she said, “Definitely.  Even if I did only win a hundred bucks.”

“Dad lost it for you, huh?”

“I didn’t think he’d hold out that long!”  She shrugged.  “But I was the only one who thought Vanessa was going to cry, so I got it back there.”

Ferb took the bottle.  “Did anyone wager on her girlfriend proposing?”

“No!  No one saw it coming.  And after I lost on Jenny proposing to her girlfriend.”

“That’s what you get for cheating.”  Phineas reached across Isabella, making a gimme-hand for the bottle.

“I’ve no idea what you mean.”

Phineas laughed.  “Django told you she bought the ring.”

Isabella didn’t take the bait but she did take the bottle back from him.  “He still hasn’t-”

“No,” Phineas said, his voice as soft as his smile.  “And it’s really okay.”

Earlier

“I just can’t help but think…it’s all been too smooth.  Something has to go wrong.”

Phineas looked up to send Stacey a reassuring smile, but caught Suzy's eye by mistake.

Deadpan, she said, “The break-up wasn’t enough?”

Phineas felt his smile slip away.  “Wait, is that why Ferb’s the one walking Isabella?  Because you thought it would be awkward?  Because-”

“Okay!” Isabella cried, bursting through the doors.  “Touch-up is done and she’s good to go.”

“How’s Lawrence?”

Kneeling in the corner, taking a pair of heels from a cabinet, she waved a hand in front of her face and said, “Respectable mist.”

Vanessa pointed.  “Only counts if he blubbers.”

Ferb raised an eyebrow.  Isabella grinned, balancing on one barefoot to slide her shoe on the other.  “We’re taking bets on how long before your dad cries.”

“What if he doesn’t cry?”

Ferb turned his raised brow to Phineas, clearly asking, have you met our father?  He leaned in towards Isabella who gripped his shoulder as she buckled the one shoe and then slid the other one on.

“Isabella, can you tell Stacey that it wouldn’t be awkward if I escorted you down the aisle instead of Ferb?”

“Oh, I thought that was because my heels make me taller than you.”  Standing up straight, she smoothed down her dress.

“Does that matter?”

With a noncommittal noise, she shrugged.  “Stacey-”

“Candace decided!” Stacey snapped.  “If you want to know why she decided, you’ll have to ask her, but later when she isn’t stressed!”

Smiling warmly, Isabella asked, “And how are you doing?”

It was strange to see her so worked up.  “I just keep thinking something’s going to go wrong…Perry!  The rings!  Where’s-”

“Oh, he’ll be here,” Vanessa said.  Something curious passed between her and Stacey.

Isabella’s eyes went wide in an approximation of horror.  “Oh, boy: do you think Jeremy will decide he doesn’t want to get married after all?”

“What?” Stacey exclaimed.  “No!”

“Suzy?”

“Fat chance.”

Smiling beautifically, Isabella said, “Well, seems like today will be pretty successful then.  The rest is just…”

“Fireworks?”

She met his eyes, absolutely beaming.  “Fireworks,” she agreed.  Then a second later, “Shit!  Who’s got my bouquet?”

Vanessa smirked.  “Who had Isabella curses before we even cross the threshold?”

Now

“Hey,” Isabella all but whispered.  From his spot next to her, Phineas could see her fiddling with Ferb’s cufflinks.  He resisted the temptation to prop himself up on his elbows, to see what his brother was doing with his face.  Isabella coughed.  “If you really wanted to go out with Marissa, I can talk to her.  I can let her know it’s okay.”

He could just make out the shine in her eyes.  It could have been the champagne, but Phineas wondered if it was something else.  Ferb shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Phineas added, pausing when he realized how loud his voice was in the night.

Isabella turned to look at him curiously.  “I thought you liked her for him!”

He shrugged.  “I dunno.  If she doesn’t get him enough to know he wasn’t listening, do we really want her dating our Ferb?”

“Even Candace doesn’t get Ferb-speak every time,” she said, and Phineas didn’t miss how she didn’t say that the only ones who did were the two of them.  “She’d learn.”

“I don’t know,” he said again, hoping his voice was neutral enough for plausible deniability.  “I just think he could do better, is all.”

Earlier

“There you are.”

She looked up, eyes wide.  “Here I am?  What are you doing here?  Candace isn’t done with you.”

Hands in his pockets, his shrug was a full-body gesture.  “My feet are killing me.  I don’t know how you’re doing it.”

She held up her stockinged-foot and wiggled her toes.  “I honestly have no idea where my shoes are.”

He laughed as he slid into the chair next to her.  The moment he did, Ferb appeared with her heels in one hand and a glass in the other.

“Not you too!”

His brow furrowed.

“If Candace thinks I stole both of you halfway through family portraits, she will murder me.  Seriously, it’ll be the last thing she does before leaving for her honeymoon in a non-extradition country.”

He rolled his eyes but it was half-hearted at best.  He passed the cup to her, close enough to Phineas’s face that he could tell it was coke.

“Caffeine!  Thank you!”  She took a long sip.  “I am so tired.”

“Well, you had an early morning,” Phineas affirmed.  “Did you get a chance to make up with Marissa?”

She nodded, smiling.

“Cool.  So you can explain her text to Ferb.”

Obligingly, he held his phone up, showing the message she’d sent saying she couldn’t go to the Night of the Falling Stars Dance with him after all.

“Oh.”  She let out a nervous titter.  “She just thought it would be awkward, since I just broke up with your brother and all.”

There was a strain to her voice that made Phineas wonder if that was the whole truth.  It certainly didn’t clear anything up for Ferb.

“But I wasn’t going to the dance with her,” he said slowly.

She blinked, face blank.  “You…were though.  She asked you?  The day you guys built the ferris wheel.  And you nodded, so…”

Ferb laughed, a sound most beautiful for its rarity.  “The ferris wheel?  Isabella, I was too busy watching Phineas and Django and worrying about your feelings to take in anything she said.”

Isabella’s first giggle came out on the exhale, the following trickling out breathlessly.  “That’s-”

“There you are!”

Isabella shook her head somberly, but the ghost of her smile was still there.  “I tried to tell them.”

Candace glared.  “Well maybe if you weren’t setting a bad example.”

“Excuse me, bridal portraits are finished, thank you.”

“Yeah, but family portraits aren’t.  Get your ass over there.”

Isabella blinked several times, taking the last sip of her coke to swallow back tears with.

“I-

She stopped him with a finger pointed at his face.  “If the next words out of your mouth are ‘told you so,’ I will run you over.”

“Have you always been this violent?”

Ignoring him, she stood and took her shoes from Ferb.  “Once more unto the breach, yeah?”

He smiled fondly and followed her out.

Now

“You really have to leave tomorrow?” he whined.

“If I want to keep my spot on the soccer team, I do.”

Phineas pouted, arms bent under his head.

“But…I’ll see you guys next month, right?  You’re coming to the first game?”

“Of course,” Phineas promised.  She beamed at him, but it only lasted a moment before Ferb spoke and she turned towards him.

“We wouldn’t miss it.”

This time, Phineas did sit up.  For a moment, he worried they’d find it weird that he was watching them, but he’d barely started forming a defense in his mind before he realized he didn’t need to.  They were so busy looking at each other, he might as well have been on another planet.

Huh, Phineas thought, settling back down in the grass.  Candace was right.

Earlier

“And now, the bride and groom invite you to join them on the dance floor.”

Laughing, Isabella tugged on his hand.  “I love this song!”  With her other hand, she grabbed Ferb’s dragging both of them out of their seats and towards the floor.  He expected Ferb to start showing off, but he just swayed and waggled his hips a bit along with him and Isabella.

“Yo, Phineas!”

He spun, grinning at the newly minted Mrs. Johnson.

“Dance with me!”

He glanced back to Isabella, who nodded, before letting go and hugging Candace.

“Congratulations, sis!”

“Thank you!”

Behind her, Jeremy was dancing with Suzy who actually looked pretty happy.  Phineas smiled at her before turning his attention back to Candace.  But she was staring over his shoulder.

“Look,” she whispered, thrusting her chin out towards something behind him.  “Do you see what I’ve been saying?”

He was confused until they pivoted a little and he could see what she’d been pointing at.  He expected Ferb to be tearing it up, maybe twirling her around, but they were still just…swaying.  Her arms were around his neck, his around her waist, and she was laughing at something he’d said.  And Ferb was looking at Isabella…well, the same way Jeremy had been looking at Candace just moments before, during their first dance as man and wife.

“Yeah,” Phineas said, the image knocking the breath out of him.  “I think I do.”

Now

Sighing, Isabella sat up, drawing her knees to her chest.  “Okay boys.  I think it’s time.”

They both followed her lead, Phineas crossing his legs and Ferb supporting himself on his palms as his remained outstretched, but none of them moved further.  Isabella released another heavy breath, eyes on the stars.

“Maybe it’s the champagne talking, but…change, huh?”

Phineas laughed.  “Is that your big proclamation?  ‘Change, huh?’”

She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Some things don’t though,” he said, sobering.  “This tree hasn’t gotten any taller.”

“It definitely has,” Ferb corrected.  “It’s just that we have too.”

Isabella bit her lip, considering.  “You ever think it won’t be here for us to come back to?”

“Nah,” Phineas said.  “The roots are pretty solid.  And besides-”

“It’s more of a state of mind, really,” Ferb added.  “And we can clone it, if we need to.”

Isabella smiled, standing up.  Hands on her hips, she said, “I love you both very much.  I’ll text you when I get to school.  And I’ll see you later.”

Ferb nodded.  Phineas waved.  And Isabella crossed the street back home.

next chapter

[oh-phineas]

Thursday, November 9 -- SwynRPVision: Create your own TV show, book, video game, piece of media, etc. that would exist in the SwynRPuniverse which does not exist in ours. Write a description, make a graphic, write a script or do whatever you want. 

reddit.com/r/broadway

u/magicalmistermistoffeleez

What's your favorite Broadway flop?

I'm kind of obsessed with flops. Shows that ran one, two months— maybe even less (I'm looking at you, Carrie) or even shows that had a decent run but lost a shit ton of money. So I thought I'd pose the question here! Regale me!

u/fvckyouflipflops

I wouldn't say favorite, because this is pretty messed up, but it sure is... something. This is the story of Dreamland, a very good lesson in why Mundus shouldn't mess around with pixie dust. Especially if they don't know what they're doing.

So back in the 70s, Rob King (big broadway producer to those who don't know) was in his white-guy-exploring-the-world era. Not all that problematic in and of itself, but he got really obsessed with fairy culture and basically kept trying to butt his way into Pixie Hollows. Obviously this is super not okay since Mundus aren't supposed to be there but he was apparently a pretty charming guy and at least managed to befriend some fairies in the neighboring towns who told him about their traditions and stuff. He comes back to New York OBSESSED with fairy culture and pixie dust in particular.

Enter... Dan Rivers and Pat Richardson. Yep, that Rivers and Richardson. A lot of fans of their more recent stuff don't know about this (unless you're me, a weirdo who goes on Wikipedia deep dives at 4 AM for fun) but after they put out their big smash hit in 1972, they were working on something much weirder and more niche. They wanted to write a musical about dreams, and they wanted to do a bunch of experimental stuff with it: no house lights, audience participation, and most daring of all, they wanted to incorporate magic.

Rob King gets wind of this show and right off the bat he's convinced that pixie dust is the answer. He's seen it do amazing things when handled BY ACTUAL FAIRIES (did you hear the foreshadowing in my voice?) and he thinks this is gonna be the perfect gimmick. Rivers and Richardson are a little apprehensive, but King assures them that pixie dust is gonna be the key. It's beautiful. It's magical. It's the perfect complement to the whole Dreamland project.

(Btw before the Rob King defenders come for me, yes I think he was a tool and no I'm not sorry for being biased. This is my post!! Write your own!!!)

Anyway, King manages to get a couple of jars of pixie dust (from where? We still don't know. imo it is super shady and I think he should be investigated... he claims it was a gift from his fairy friend abroad and maybe that's true but I just think the guy is so slimy there had to be something weird going on here). But he refuses to let anyone rehearse with it because it's such a limited resource.

It's only during previews that the cast actually gets to use it, and the results are pretty mixed. The thing about pixie dust is you don't just pick it up and use it, there's a mental component (thinking happy thoughts basically) and it's not easy to master if you're not a fairy and you've never used it before. Only one or two of the actors actually manages to get floating during previews, but King explained it by saying they were using a minimal amount of pixie dust before opening night because they had to conserve. So the show gets a few middling reviews but not all that much attention.

And then opening night happens. They double the amount of pixie dust being used, and things start immediately going haywire from the first scene. The actor who managed to float during the previews accidentally goes way too hard and flies into the house, crashing into the aisle (thankfully not into the audience) and bruising his ribs. A prop book gets enchanted too and this one does fly into an audience member's face, which she later tries to sue for. They can't even get through the first musical number before they have to call a tech hold for safety, and then they just decide to cancel the performance altogether.

The show comes back the next week without the pixie dust, but with the main gimmick gone, nobody really cares about this show anymore (I will say, it's got decent music but it's definitely not Rivers and Richardson's best work. It's interesting, but there isn't much plot... It's definitely too high-concept and weird for a mainstream audience). They try to get Gloria Gaynor in there as a stunt casting, but she pulls out at the last minute and the person she would have replaced threatens legal action for contract breach. It's a whole thing. Rob King tries to keep things going for another two weeks, but the opening night incident just casts way too big a shadow over the whole thing, and combined with the lukewarm reviews (both from critics and audience members) and the lack of any big gimmick, nobody is going to see this show.

The final nail in the coffin is when Chicago comes out. And then that's all anyone really cares about on Broadway anymore. Rob King finally sees the writing on the wall, and Rivers and Richardson do everything they can to erase this disaster from our collective memories.

So yeah! Dreamland walked so Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark could run, I guess. And to be clear, I'm definitely in favor of weird theater, and I think we should have more of it. This show just wasn't any good to begin with, and the way it exploited fairies (and honestly damaged their reputation a little bit, since King mostly blamed the pixie dust in the press later) is just super messed up to me.

TLDR: if you're going to incorporate magic in your show, get an ACTUAL magick on the creative team. Just sayin'.

[angeletombee]

YOU GUYS, I’M—

[leviiattacks]

CASHIER LEVI AND LIKE THE READER IS THE CUSTOMER AND IT’S LIKE THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON EACHTOHER

author note :: honestly not my best at all..... like at all..... this was actually pretty good but the entire draft got deleted and i just lost all my effort but i felt bad for starting it and not completing it for anon so you may take whatever i have managed to salvage. i hope u enjoy it :’( i am extremely sick rn and yeah writing is the only break i am currently getting from anything :-) SO AGAIN I’ M SORRY ANON..... i may write a 10k + word fic on this though so i can redeem myself bc this is just disappointing 😭

word count :: 3.3k

every single thursday you stop by ackermart. maybe it’s because the day is convenient for you or perhaps it’s because of a certain cashier that works the evenings...

HAHA it’s got nothing to do with a cashier why would it have anything to do with a cashier? :-)

today is like any other. you walk through the fresh produce aisle then proceed to make your way towards the bakery section picking up a loaf of bread

it’s stupid, you know it is but... you think you’ve worked up enough courage to speak to him today!!

and who is him you may ask?

levi at till number four. his tired eyes always happen to pierce into yours and his calloused thumbs brush past your skin when you hand him your rewards card

levi is what his bright red name tag says and although he doesn’t look like a levi you’d like to think your crush isn’t stealing someone’s identity so you believe that it’s his real name

anxiously fiddling with your basket you’re beginning to think this was a horrible idea

the girl ahead of you is flirting up a storm with him and although he’s not reciprocating it by any means you still feel deterred

levi bags the last of her groceries and looks up at her when she asks for a way to contact him. he doesn’t look mad... just bored?

“ma’am. this is an ackermart i don’t think it’s appropriate you ask me for my number. the customer service line is listed on our website.”

the woman raises a brow looking completely flabbergasted. okay, if everything before this wasn’t a warning THIS sure was

she stomps off when she realises levi isn’t kidding and you think you’d feel bad for her maybe if she was more respectful about it

“next customer.” levi calls over his shoulder and you shuffle forward pretending to be engrossed in your phone

“cash or card?” he asks plainly.

you hear the BEEP of your groceries being scanned and think on it for a while before replying with “cash”

you’re clearly pretty good at your pretend to be totally into your phone act because levi tries to get your attention but you don’t hear what he has to say till the third time he repeats himself

but even then you’re still unsure what it is he’s said????

looking down you see his hand is stuck out in front of you and now you’re even more confused

faltering for a second you look at his palm and then speak

“um, i guess your hand is nice? it’s pretty big compared to the rest of you actually.”

“i was asking for your cash?” he says and now you look at his palms in mortification

gasping you yANK your hand into your purse as you laugh awkwardly fishing around to find your money

“oh, OH i knew that. just kidding!! i mean- i meant that thing about your hand?? but i thought it was- i funny? yes the joke funny? i’m-”

he leans back into his spinning chair and sighs contently. “you’re not making much sense peaches.”

“pe- peaches??” you repeat. no way you’ve heard that correct

levi lazily points at the abundance of the aforementioned fruit in your grocery bags

“you must love em.”

“i, well yeah i do like peaches but i also like...” um??? what food would make you look sophisticated and professional?

OH YEAH

“FRENCH CUISINE :-)!!!!” you say rather proudly

“...cool. i guess.” levi hands you your grocery bag which is basically an invitation asking for you to get out

he doesn’t seem mad but he’s definitely going to look back at this encounter and laugh his ass off at how stupid you are

hanging your head down low in embarrassment you make your way out towards your car

there’s always next time!! maybe you can practice in the mirror yeah that does sound like it would help!!!

okay so.

it is officially next time.

actually you never got the opportunity to practice in front of the mirror because you chickened out of looking like an idiot even if it was in the privacy of your own home

but!!! you did try to practice some cool pick up lines because who doesn’t like a good pickup line or two??

the two mini milk cartons in your hand and the pack of doughnuts you have tucked under your arm aren’t too heavy so you aren’t too worried about having to wait in the line

for some reason the guy in front of you keeps turning around and glancing at you as if you don’t even exist

you are not casper the ghost

also casper is a little boy and you definitely aren’t a little boy

finally after a good five minutes the man ahead of you is having his stuff scanned but he’s STILL doing it. even levi notices and gives him an odd look which borders annoyance and anger.

“can i pay for your groceries? maybe walk you to your car?” the stranger asks suddenly

so that’s what this is, he’s simply taken an interest in you

my god this is new but it is uncomfortable and you’d rather say no

“oh, i actually walked here and no thanks i can pay for my own. enjoy the rest of your day!!” you hope your white lie is enough to fool the man but instead of agreeing as any other person would he looks majorly deceived

“i saw you in the parking lot.” ok this is getting a bit too uncomfortable for your liking

“c’mon i’m offering to buy your shit too?”

his voice is raising and you’re not sure what exactly you can do but thankfully for you the manager steps in and takes him away before any more threats can be made

the man had taken up so much of your attention you almost forgot levi was even there until you turned back around

“do you want a member of staff to accompany you to your car? it’s getting dark out.” levi’s comment helps ease your nerves and you try to laugh off what just happened

“i’m good :-)” you say shaking a little. you’re unsure if it’s the cold or the fact you still haven’t completely calmed down

“you sure peaches?”

“i haven’t bought any peaches this time.”

“you’re still peaches to me.” your cheeks flush at his confidence

wait, maybe this is your chance. you’re the last person in his line and they’re closing up for the day so...

“could you walk me to my car?”

and to your surprise even before you can take back what you’ve said levi agrees

it stays like that for a while.

every thursday levi walks you to your car by the end of his shift, all the while the two of you exchange a few words together

like last week you asked him what his favourite colour was (he said purple) you’ve learnt about his hobbies (he’s a decent cook), you’ve even found out about some of his own personal problems. he had mentioned suffering with insomnia in passing.

to be honest each and every time he walks you to your car he has to notice that you begin to park further and further away from the front entrance. but if he does notice he doesn’t say a word about it

“is that all you’re checking out?” you ask with a cheeky grin plastered across your face

looking down at your new dress your lopsided grin is far from fading away any time soon. you especially picked this one out after asking levi what his favourite colour was last week

god. this is so embarrassing but never actually have you had a crush this huge

levi who’s sat behind the counter shoots you a look which almost seems to be on the verge of uninterested. he isn’t entertaining this at all or this is just his typical bored face, you can’t really tell

BUT..... you still have a huge crush on him and you aren’t one to give up this easily

for the record you don’t harass him or anything, just the occasional hint is thrown around but he’s either really dense or doesn’t care

his expression does you no favours, you can’t tell what he’s thinking half the time

“you’re always buying energy drinks... might want to cut down on those they’re no good for you.”

warmth blooms in your chest. he’s just saying it to make small talk but the fact he even thinks to bring that up has your heart fluttering

“i- well- yeah i will!! just have a few overdue essays to get over with :-)” twiddling your thumbs together you think that makes your nerves too obvious so you begin to scratch at the back of your neck

if anything is a dead give away it’s your constant neck scratching, thankfully levi hasn’t picked up on it

“so you wore purple today?” his eyes linger on the thin straps of your dress and you feel the goosebumps rise up onto your skin immediately

“oh yeahhhh-”

“did i tell you yellow was my favourite colour last week?” he asks holding up a neon yellow pack of crisps and for the first time you see him smile

he looks so ?!|>\€|^ pretty ?!/)/&

wait?? yellow??

“didn’t you say purple?”

“no?” he crosses his arms playfully over his chest thinking for a bit

“maybe i did but no it’s really yellow.” he says as he hands you your bag

nodding your head you smile “yeahhhh sure it is.”

damn, now you’re going to have to find a yellow dress just to make him revert back to purple because who even likes yellow?? that’s a deal breaker right there??

update

it’s been two weeks!!

and a yellow dress has been found and secured B-)

it’s been a pretty rough day at work and you need to desperately collect a pack of green tea and get going

you don’t know when exactly being a secretary meant you had to babysit your boss’ children but that’s what the last week has entailed

being made to work overtime to this extent has had an effect on you and you’re ready to head home as soon as you swing by ackermart

not seeing levi for a week made you a little :-( because to be honest he’s the highlight of your thursday evening BUT!! you’ll be able to see him today at least

walking in through the entrance you’re met with connie smiling right at you, he holds the door open for you and smile back greeting him

“so you didn’t come last week...?”

it’s weird for him to ask that, after all you don’t really speak to anyone here apart from levi, you’re surprised you’re enough of a regular to be known by name

“oh i didn’t think anyone would notice? but yeah i had to work overtime you know what boss’ are like.” groaning you crouch down and look at the pot noodles on display

“i didn’t notice it. boss man did.”

“boss man?” you ask feeling out of loop

“levi.” connie answers as he hops into the backroom

????

isn’t he just a cashier??

“you still look confused.” connie remarks as he heads back out with a cardboard box full of pringle’s tubes

“levi’s the boss man, this is his store. he literally only ever mans the cash register on thursday evening because of you.”

at that you start laughing because it makes no sense at all to you

there’s no way connie is being serious

“good one.” you say as you stand up with a chicken flavored noodle in your hand

“i’m not kidding?”

turning around you give him a skeptical look

he sighs and shakes his head.

“listen. me and the part timers are tired of making bets on when he’ll give you his number and i bet that it would happen today so if you could confess to each other that would be perfect!!!”

“who said i like-”

“anyone with a brain can tell you both like each other.” he’s rolled his eyes so far into the back of his head you begin to take him a little more seriously now

“i... did i make it that obvious??” you’re directly facing him trying to get out as much information as you can

“yeah. very. at least levi wasn’t as bold.”

“i think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick he definitely doesn’t like me.”

connie gives you an “are you fucking with me?” look and you look away trying to distract yourself with the the canned goods lining the shelves

“he was worried sick when you didn’t come in for the entire week. he even asked me if he scared you away.”

“maybe i’m just his favourite customer?”

“favourite customer my ass he has a crush on YOU. confess.”

playing around with the ends of your sleeves connie sees he’s fighting a losing battle unless he gives you definitive solid proof

“please... i’ll get free barbecue if i win the bet and i’m kinda broke rn :-(” okay, you do want connie to eat well and be treated and maybe this is a good thing. if levi doesn’t like you then you can move on!!

“i’ll think about it.”

before connie can continue talking you make a beeline towards the tea aisle whilst throwing a “see you next time!” over your shoulder.

by the time you’ve gathered all of your groceries your basket is full to the brim. you’ve been lingering as much as you can out of fear but you think you’ve collected just enough courage to ask for his number

looking at the cash register levi is sat there and your shoulders slump. he’s probably going to say no and you’re going to look like a huge loser.

right as you’re about to take a step towards him levi finally spots you and gives you one look before standing up from his seat

“hi!” you wave at him

“...hey!” he smiles wide but he bites it back pretending it was never there in the first place

placing your basket in front of him he eyes what you’ve got

“hm... lots of peaches as per usual peaches.” the nickname that rolls of his tongue makes you tremble a little. will he call you that after you fuck everything up with this stupid confession?

his tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek when he gets to the heart shaped box of chocolates

“a gift for a friend? didn’t know you had those?” he teases as he scans the barcode

“gift for a crush!” you reply back enthusiastically as you dig through your wallet looking for your card

levi doesn’t respond for a few seconds and an awkward silence fills the air. you glance up to see him looking at you open mouthed in shock

“good luck.” he murmurs under his breath he’s not even returning your gaze at this point and is hurriedly scanning through your barcodes

“you okay?” you ask worrying about his mood

“yeah, yeah. great.” he’s quieter than usual.

the rest of your encounter is the same, levi silently bags your groceries and you can’t tell if this is a good or bad response.

just as he’s about to place the heart shaped box into your plastic bag you lunge forward holding his wrist to stop him

“no i don’t need those.”

he cocks his eyebrow upwards trying to analyse your expression and gain an understanding of your thoughts

“don’t tell me you’re chickening out. whoever it is will say yes.” he scoffs as he places the chocolates into the bag handing them over to you with a warm smile

there it is again. the fear returns and you swipe your tongue over your slightly dry lips.

no way.

is he telling you to confess to someone now? so he must not like you?

taking the bag away from him you scratch your neck out of habit and huff feeling frustrated

“he keeps giving me mixed signals.” you say hoping he catches your drift

“give him the chocolates and let him put two and two together. don’t even say anything.” his advice would be great if he weren’t the guy you were trying to confess to in real time

nodding you reach into the bag and bring the box back out before gently placing it in front of levi

“are you serious?” he asks and your face drops seeing the possible displeasure in his eyes

great, connie and the part timers just over analysed he doesn’t like you, obviously he doesn’t like you, why would he like you?

without looking back you hurry out, the embarrassment is eating you away now and the thought of ever returning to ackermart isn’t even feasible in your mind

at this point you may as well change your name, identity, dye your hair, have a few children and wear sunglasses the next time you come back so you look like a soccer mum and not the foolish y/n who thought they had a chance with their cute CASHIER???

god, you probably look like a creep

the sound of footsteps can be heard behind you and labored breaths follow before levi calls out for you

“please wait up.” he grumbles. slowing down your pace you let him catch up to you. he grabs at your wrist and sighs in relief

turning you see him savour the air

is this the part where he confesses he likes you too or—

“your receipt you forgot it.” he gasps as he opens your hand for you and places it into your palm

oh.

fingers clasping shut onto the paper you feel the humiliation seep into your pores

this.

is.

the.

worst.

moment.

of.

your.

life.

“open it.” he offer you a boyish smile and your nerves don’t let you find comfort in it

you grimace as you fold it open, you’re imagining he’s charged you an extra £100 for having unwanted feelings for him and if that’s the case you’ll die on the spot

but instead your eyes light up in joy. you’re pleasantly surprised

...

inside of the receipt is his phone number haphazardly sprawled across in black biro - you even double check by comparing it to the number for the customer service helpline

hello??

HELLO.?.!/)£ HIS NUMBER???

“if you just wanted to return the chocolate this is embarrassing.” he’s the one who’s now scratching at his neck and you find that he’s endearing this way

the streetlight from above illuminates him, the shadows cast over his face and his brows aren’t furrowed as they usually are

you open your mouth to reply but connie cuts you off unintentionally. he can be heard YELLING into his phone ecstatic that his plan has worked out

“I WIN!!! HA BBQ’S ON YOU JEAN!! MUST SUCK TO BE YOU.”

you and levi look at each other and laugh, reassuring the other of what has just happened.

well...

you guess this is the start of something new? maybe??

:-)

[shlutnutt]

Aisle 7

loved the way this one turned out hope you enjoy!

warnings: public oral sex, robbery, masturbation, overstimulation mention, etc, just regular smutty shit

Warren Lipka and you were inseparable. You were best friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, soulmates, enemies, lovers, but for most you were fuck buddies. You'd travel around together, even if that were to be across the globe or for a quick joint wrap to the nearest corner store. No matter what you guys' were up to the adrenaline was always there, leading you guys to do unholy things in the most unholy places. Even if that were to be in a church, a kids' playground or even in the middle of fucking nowhere, to clubs, reunions, rooftops or a stranger's left open garage. But there was one place you and Warren haven't tested yet, and it was very much needed to be checked out of your bucket list.

Waking up to Warren's angelic self laying beside you, taking a moment to breath in his masculine heaven sent scent and his beautifully unique facial features you soon realize a cute perfect curl resting on his forehead, using your finger tips to swipe it softly behind his ear so it doesn't bug him, hearing a soft groan fall out of his pink lips. Shifting a little, Warren pulled you in close to him wrapping his muscular arms around your bruised naked body, causing a small whimper to fall out of you as he accidentally held a little too hard on your contused waist, from your guys' long night.

"S-sorry." apologized Warren in his adorable morning voice, half awake kissing your shoulder caustiously, loosening his grip on you as you're now the little spoon. Warren wasn't the type to apologize, his way of apologizing was pleasing you through sex, he never wanted to show his vulnerability to you.

"Since when do you apologize, Warren Lipka?" you asked as he replied with "God. I love the way you say my name.." completely avoiding your question lifting his huge pointer finger to your lips to shush you nicely, still half asleep.

Getting up now and getting dressed for some food you look over at the man shifting aggressively looking for his most comfortable position peeking over at you discreetly, you ask him what'd he want from Dunkin's. "Gonna go to dunkin's, want a coffee, a bagle or something?" "Yeah.. no sugar and a bagle.. maybe get some wraps while you're out, hm?" Warren mumbled under his breath lazyly lifting an eyebrow to your sudden silence and unmovibility. "wanna come.. maybe?" you fill in the silence, in hopes to him agreeing since you feered going out alone.

Warren just strecthed and hummed pushing the blue striped covers to the side as he lazyly dragged himself out of the bed, unaware he was still butt naked from the previous night you rested your head on the windowsill, unable to keep your eyes off of his morning wood, in which was fully hard for you to see. Your arousal was soon arising, causing you to tighten your legs in amusement.

Clothed now, Warren points at the keys signaling you to pick them up and get the car running while he looks for some money he had misplaced. As you speed walked to your car, tripping along the way. You struggle to catch your breath as you sigh in sexual frustration. Even after your guys' long overstimulated night you couldn't bare the need of wanting more. So, unwilling of simply asking Warren to fulfill your needs you pull up one of his old nudes that you had saved on your phone, satisfying yourself quickly before he'd notice.

You groaned to yourself lowly as you massaged your clothed clit, not daring to take your eyes off of his nudes. So lost in the moment you hear a faded knock on your car's window, taking you by surprise. With the knocking fading in now, you look up to Warren who's eyes were lustfilled and lips were smirked signaling you to open the door and slide over to the passenger seat.

"I- I–" "Shh, princess." Warren shushed you as he buckled up his seatbelt, reaching out for yours and buckling it in for you also, his hand swiping pass your lower abdomen making you jump slightly.

The ride quiet and awkward you look over to him, only to catch your focus onto his hands now, which were swiftly and roughly operating the steering wheel. His hands veiny and pale, you zone out to only get zoned back in to a harsh grip onto your upper thigh.

"Dare or dare, Y/N?" Warren dares you, sharp stare suited on his eyes, which move from your own to the road in a rapid manner. "Bring it on, baby." you tease, knowing he had evil plans coming for you after what he's witnessed.

"Suck me off in the supermarket."

"What-"

Warren only chuckled to your reaction but he was dead fucking serious. This man is literally crazy. It amazed you how you've put up with him for all that time, but you matching his level of crazy you accept his dare, causing Warren to give your thigh a little slap as he parked in the empty parking lot an evil grin glued to his face. "I'll go in and order if you want." he tells you whislt shoving a couple hundreds in his green coat, you nod in response. Him now jogging into dunkin to place your orders as fast as he possibly could, he stops a little to give you a wink before going in, an evil ass wink.

As Warren took a little longer than usual you predicted that he were to be committing yet another crime, so you prepare to be his getaway driver for the third time that week, it only being Thursday.

Rolling your last blunt to waste some time, you spot Warren from the corner of your eyes running like a maniac towards your car, dozens of bags and coffee placers in hand, bright big smile suited on his face as he sped to the passenger seat. Throwing all the bags to the back seat he slaps your thigh repeatedly demanding you to go.

"Fuck Y/N! I fucking love you!" Warren yelled in between pants, the huge wide smile still placed on his face as he sweated like a pig, taking off his heavy green coat replacing it with a brown one to semi-cover his identity, as you guys sped off uncautiously manefesting a ticket.

"Yeah, yeah. I fucking love you too." you sighed in between giggles.

The adrenaline now going to its norm you feel a sharp familiar gaze on you. Keeping your eyes on the road, you hear Warren's breathing escalate inconspicuously, making your curiosity grow by the second you attempt to ask the man what was going on, only for him to shush you once again.

"Park right there." ordered Warren, pointing at a supermarket's uninhabited parking lot. You follow his orders instantly, carefully parking your car near some trees, making the parking lot appear more blank than what it should've been.

Warren's stare only intensified as you grew in curiosity. With him placing his huge hand on your thigh once again, you couldn't bare the need to kiss him, crashing your lips onto his sloppily to soon straddling ontop of him. Warren didn't hesitate to kiss back, placing his hands on your waist grinding his rising clothed boner onto your clothed pussy roughly.

"Fuck me.. baby please" you insist in between the makeout, panting pathetically against his shoulder, as you two humped for several minutes now.

"You owe me a dare, Y/N." replies Warren in between heavy grunts, referring to his previous 'Give me head in a supermarket' dare.

"But- bu-" "No ifs or buts Y/N, dare or nothing?" Warren teases giving you no other option,you needing all of him desperately you accept his dare getting off of him to unlock the car and walk out of it.

Warren only looked up at you in amusement, with the coincidence of you guys' being parked outside of a supermarket he only grew excited, jumping out of the car walking behind you exhilaratedly.

Now entering the unoccupied supermarket you look around to make sure there wasn't a soul around to witness the unholiness you were about to commit to. Not a single person around other than the 2 cashiers up front you grab Warren's hand and drag him down aisle to aisle speed walking almost, as you search for the most hidden aisle in the back of the supermarket.

"Aisle 7." you murmured under your breath as you pull Warren in for a kiss, the kiss transforming into a unconditional make out. Warren suddenly held onto your waist firmly once again as you kissed down his neck, him leaning his head back, giving you more access. You lose no time to fidget your fingers curling on his sweats strings, to massaging his shaft softly.

This producing some soft groans to fall out of your comrade's mouth you push him slightly onto the tide pod shelf behind him, lowering yourself smoothly. Your face now confronting his clothed member you look up to him in concern of getting caught. He only whispers "No cameras." to give you comfort.

Pulling down his sweats you are suprisingly tapped across your nose with your lover's tip, in which is leaking in precum, turning you on incredibly. Twirling your wet tongue around his reddened tip you take time to give his balls attention also, massaging them thoughtfully. "Oh fuck." moaned Warren to your delicate and thoughtful touch on him as he struggled to keep an eye out for anyone coming.

You sucked on him desperately, now allowing his shaft to torture your throat leisurely. The situation becoming heated by the time you lightly tap on Warren's thigh to shush him from his loud disturbing moans and groans, struggling to not come too quick.

"Come for me." you order, soon feeling a creamy warm liquid drip from your lips. You intentionally keep sucking to make his manly self beg for you to stop.

"W-wait." stuttered Warren, looking down at you with squinting eyes, you ignore him supposing he wanted you to stop overstimulating him, continuing since he hadn't said his safe word. "Y/N!" he called for you once more, causing you to annoyingly stop to face him.

"Camera.." was all he said, looking up to it nervously. You get up to face a security camera pointing directly at you guys.

"Well fuck, we can cross that off the list now, can't we?" joked Warren as you wanted to instantly die from embarrassment leaving through the emergency back door unable to look at the cashier after what you've just done.

[bangtanbeforebitches]

The Fall was a Trip - Prologue

An Original work written, produced, storyboarded, edited, agonized over and owned by: bangtanbeforebitches

Starring: Min Yoongi and Actor YN/Reader (from a purposely POC perspective) with guest appearances by everyone else you know and love.

Genre: Bangtan is Bangtan-verse AU, Rom-Com, Interracial Relationship Navigation, Strangers to Lovers, Quick but Slow Burn, Star-Crossed Lovers, Story within a Story, POC POV, K-Drama Indulgent on all fronts

Themes/Warnings: Heavy issues, Honest discussions, Things people probably don’t want to hear, Ridiculous run-ons for the fuck of it, 4th wall breaking, Inner monologue rants, YN is EXTRA AF, Mentions of racism, Childhood trauma resurfacing, Mentions of anxiety, Dangerous situations, a Shit-ton of swearing, Drinking, Probably smut at some point down the line, Some hopefully not so confusing script breakdowns, Usage of basic film and stage production terminology, Excessive flirtation (but Jimin doesn’t count), Fluff on Fluff on Fluff, Smooth moves, Lots of awkward moments, YN is a klutz, Sweetness to rot your teeth, Mood Swings, Denial of emotions, and at some point after therapy- Acceptance.

Format: Multi-chapter, ongoing WIP

Word count: currently 17k

Rating: Explicit, Minors are advised to not pass GO. 18+

---------- Prologue --

If I could describe the way his gaze makes me feel in one word it would probably be…

I’m going to have to go with "uncomfortable".

Yea.

I said it.

Uncomfortable.

In the absolute best way, sure, but let me just honestly say out loud (well, in my head) that it has been legit agony. To have all of these feelings drummed up so suddenly and at once for this one person. How people in relationships get over feeling this vulnerable all the time is beyond me.

From the moment we first locked eyes and through each encounter since then...

Every simple conversation,

Every plot to secretly meet,

Every unplanned moment that became a precious memory for me,

Every one of the countless, staged, 'casual run-ins' with one another,

Each of the covert missions we carried out,

Each of the lies we told and the omissions of the truth that our friends made for us,

All the sneaking around and all of the work was necessary just to have a basic date.

Just to have one night together.

And I’m not sorry for it because I would do it all again if I had to.

It was worth it so he could experience some semblance of normalcy for once in his life.

It’s amazing, really, how long we were able to keep it up.

What, with the many declarations of his affections for me that felt so obvious but Dispatch and the rest of the press missed…

We somehow still survived even after that stupid, impulsive and unprofessional profession he decided to make in front of both armies…

That one left me breathless. He was so smooth.

And, yes-- right now, as he gloats at me with his eyes from across this aisle.

He’s currently trying to get me riled up over a snack. A snack that I bought, mind you. His hand has been forever lost in my bag of shrimp crackers with that dumb-pretty, cocky smirk of his and flecks of golden crumbs dusting his lips.

The power of a single look from this man?

Even when he’s being obnoxiously cute like this?

Yea, even now.

What I see in his eyes when he looks at me can unsettle my entire being.

Back when we met, his stare was unnerving. He wasn’t just examining me like everyone else did, though. Holding his gaze for the first time felt like a test that I was unprepared for. I didn’t know what answers he wanted from me. I hadn’t properly studied. There was no time.

Never once did he judge me based on my appearance, which was so opposite of anyone around us. Nor did he judge me by my choice of handbag, which he once swore he notices first when meeting someone to get around actually answering the question.

His lack of prejudice was appreciated but it was a privilege I certainly was not accustomed to since moving to South Korea.

He didn’t and still doesn’t give half a fuck about my height,

-- only a few inches shorter than him and we’re eye level when I’m in heels.

My curves,

-- hips wider than his, chest ample and rear high, rounded and pronounced.

My natural hair,

-- which when free suffocates him if I lean on his shoulder.

He didn’t care about my skin tone, meanwhile, his entire country revolves around this standard idea of porcelain equaling perfection.

He didn’t make assumptions about me based on the way that I speak or the way I sometimes make very American mistakes.

Honestly, I could be standing before him, stripped down completely nude, and this guy would probably still keep his eyes locked on mine for as long as humanly possible before indulging.

He likes that we’re so different. He likes that I’m so different. He says all of my everything is exactly what he didn’t know he was looking for.

Each day I wake up and struggle to remind myself that he’s into this-- into me and my body, my thoughts, my dreams and my touch. It’s a lot for my brain to accept.

Until he rolls over, opens his eyes and looks at me.

Those searing orbs he houses in that perfectly sculpted face of his are dangerous, packed with the fervency of a meteor and the luster of a star.

He has the ability to make every drop of blood in my veins run hot. I could easily describe to you in detail the residual side effects that have been wracked upon my person since meeting Min Yoongi.

Damn him and that look.

It feels not as if he's looking at me or looking through me because, no. That much I would be able to handle. At least I think I could.

Well, I definitely can handle that kind of look from anyone except for him. I did all the time. I could take it when I was still capable of discernment which is a skill I now lack thanks to his presence in my life.

Back in the day, when our paths first crossed, I swear to you-- I had a thicker skin.

Ok, I should rephrase that.

“Back when we first stumbled upon one another” is more true to this story.

I was so used to either being gawked at like some newly discovered species in a zoo OR (on the flip side) being completely ignored altogether like I wasn’t worthy of existing.

But Yoongi?

His is a sincere, open and full-on stare that bores into me, birthed from somewhere deep within him.

Always so intense, his focus on me. It’s discomfiting, the way I’m left paralyzed by him. Helpless while he hacks into my hardware and memorizes every line of my code. It’s as if he knows things about me, my system and how I work that even I have yet to download and discover. He sees every pixel. He’s saved away each of my files “as is” and keeps searching for more.

He sees all of me.

And whenever our eyes connect, I’m able to see all of him too.

I want nothing more than for him to keep looking at me exactly the way he is right now.

Like he wants to keep what he’s found.

I would also like for him to stop being a fucking tease and pass back my damn shrimp crackers already.

This is going to be a long flight home.

-

[tinycreaturetalkingshit]

In this story we will follow the coupling of Rick Sanchez and Dick Sancheza. Dick Sancheza had always been insequre about her name, because it was clearly a boys name. Rest in Peace Ig, but now she is over that.

One day Dick was at her local whole foods stealing free samples of cheese because she did not feel it was ethical to eat cheese that had been paid for. She had explained her views in detail to the manager, but they were having none of it. Whole Foods was the only store she could convince\nce her brother to drive to, so even though she was kicked out of the whole foods, she kept sneaking in and stealing the cheese while wearing various types of mushrooms as mustaches.

Enter Rick, he is unaccompanied by morty. He is alone and he feels it in his soul, a gapine\g emptiness which he fills with arrogance, shennangams, and addiction. He has entered this whole foods, not knowing what he is there for, but knowing he craves something.

The food bored him, he had had the uiniverses most intriguing delight, and these meager options of the whole foods. He mewanders through the aisles throwing random shit in his cart h\when he feels an impulse. As he wonder\s through the produce section he sees a women in her mid 30’s sorting intensely through the mushrooms.

Rick stays vigilant as he wonders if this may actually be a murderous alien. After a moment of observation with his robot eyes he decides she is not a threat to him, though she may be an alien.

Rick stares at the apples sullenly begrudge\ing that they don’t taste like alcohol.

From his peripheral he sees that the lady is now pulling out a mushroom and c\slicing it in the store with a hatchet.

Rick becomes equal parts aroused and irritated, these days it seems that the irritation always comes with his arousal

=once they are sweet in eachother he will notice he can feel aroused without irritation

Rick watches as the woman applies the crudely cut mushroom to her he upper lip and approached the chees boi with feigned nonchalance. For his part the cheese boi seems exhausted but unlikely to put up a fight.

“Why hello there chees boi, what a strapping young lad you are. Did you create these cheese delicacies on you own”

“You know very well I didn’;t”

“OPh my I didnt mean to offend, I just wanted to remark on your quality cheese”

Cheeseboi sighs but doesnt respond otherwise

Dick take sthis as her chance and pounces shoving cheese into her chees hole with the speed of a fool who does not know when they will puke.

Rick however sees the inevitable end of this story

He sme\irks in wry amusement, puke is funny.

After Dick pukes, cheeseboi is mad and sends her away with the treat of a manager

Dick is sad, but knows that id cheeseboi will not begrudgingly help her all is lost and she must wait in the parking lot for her brother to get out of work and take her home. Her brother is cheesboi.

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 21

fandoms: bnha, hdm, hq, mcu, mdzs, mp100

bnha

Sleeping With Ghosts by lalazee

(mature)

“I guess even heroes have to do their grocery shopping.”

“Villains, too,” Katsuki said tightly.

“Villains?” Deku blinked, gasping softly as he went to his tip toes and looked over the aisle divider. “Where? Shit, Kacchan, you’d better get on that!”

Written for KatsuDeku Week 2017, Day 2: Heroes/Villains.

burning bridges & taking flight by carolinaa

(mature)

Breaking out of the School is only the first step to their freedom, and the odds are stacked against them. Most of their quirks are defective, and the Commission runs Japan like a well-oiled machine. It's not as if they have anyone to turn to in the outside world.

But Tooru, Shouto, Hitoshi, and Izuku are dead set on getting Eri out of the Commission's hands, no matter the consequences. They'll figure out how to keep her safe and hopefully shatter the Commission's public image in the process.

The chaotic neutral’s guide to time travel by DancingInTheStorm

“You claim you are from the future,” Nedzu said, hopping onto his desk. “Do you have anything to prove this?”

Hitoshi fished around in his pocket. “Here’s my hero license,” he said, holding it up.

Nedzu opened his mouth, but Hitoshi kept right on going, producing a handful of odds and ends from his pocket. “Also a movie ticket, some dryer lint, some, uh, didn’t know I still had that but it’s old gum—“

That was when Aizawa walked in, capture weapon floating around him. “What’s the emergency?” he asked, clipped, as he kicked open the door.

“—and the left arm of a Deku plushie,” Hitoshi finished, unruffled. “My cat ate the rest.”

hq

Irrational Rationality by hedonistvenus

Keiji was terrible at taking care of himself when he got stressed, but luckily, he had three boyfriends who were more than happy to pick up the slack and be there for him.

and they will realize (that I am a hurricane) by stealthestars

"I have a deep fear of being too much. That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I am a hurricane. That they will step back and be intimated by my muchness."

Bokuto Koutarou has ADHD. It doesn’t really bother him but it’s apparently quite the bother to everyone else in his life.

- For day 5 of Haikyuu Angst Week. Prompts: Arguments/Fights, "But you promised."

mcu x hdm

In Nomine Diaboli by WerewolvesAreReal

Sometimes Matt wonders what it would be like to take his daemon out with him in public. He hasn't been able to do it for twenty years.

mdzs

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

mp100

a veto on the concept of kicking and screaming by suitablyskippy

“I told you,” says Teru patiently. Strobing lights flare out of the darkness behind him at random neon intervals. “There’s a dress code, little brother. You can’t come in looking like that.”

(A collection of MP100 fics written for prompts, featuring a mixed assortment of AUs, tropes, and character combinations, with Ritsu's general background level of suffering the only constant.)