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pileofmush · 18 days

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you don't know what i deserve .·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·.

ft. okkotsu yuuta

it’s 1 a.m. on the fifteenth of February and there’s a corpse on your kitchen floor. still fresh: odorless and warm to the touch. you're on your own—just you and the dead body.

info : ̗̀➛ tags: gn!reader, neighbor au, strangers to lovers, yuuta & reader are a little strange, happy ending // cw: death, light angst, vulgar language, canon-typical violence...but pretty mild imo

thoughts : ̗̀➛ helllooo. back on my bullshit. let's call this a very belated birthday present to my beloved <3 // read this on ao3

wc : ̗̀➛ 5.1k

The human body contains a shit ton of blood.

Which is not something you think about often, but now you are forced to confront this fact in real-time. People… have a lot of blood.

And it stains. No matter how many times you wash your hands. There are still flakes of blood wedged underneath your fingernails. Part of you thinks it'll never go away.

...And then there's Sailor Moon.

“I am the pretty guardian who fights for love and justice! I am Sailor Moon! And now, in the name of the moon, I’ll punish you!”

Cue trumpets and flashy poses; the makings of a battle. Your comfort anime blares in the background of a morbid scene, the flickering TV casting a soft glow on a sight that will inevitably haunt your nightmares.

Because it's 1 a.m. on the fifteenth of February and there’s a corpse on your kitchen floor. Still fresh: odorless and warm to the touch. You pace in your tiny living room, unsure of what to do, of how to proceed. The pretty Sailor Guardians won’t save you now. You’re on your own. Just you and the dead body.

How romantic.

The chill from outside has swept into your apartment thanks to that annoying fucking prick who left your window open. Honestly, people these days have no decency. The least he could’ve done was close your shutters after tumbling through your bedroom window like a deranged acrobat. Now you’re, like, moderately cold.

“What a fucking mess,” you sigh.

Blood seeps into the earthy Persian rug that you got for half-price at a flea market a few months ago. It’s dark; puddling, like... like a knocked-over glass of chocolate milk, spilled all over the kitchen table. Or, maybe chocolate syrup would be more apt. It doesn’t matter, though. You can always get a new rug. You know, if you make it out of this situation of yours intact and not in a dingy prison cell for homicide.

Hmm. You might be sorta kinda screwed.

The police, of course, are out of the question. No matter your side of the story, it wouldn’t hold up in trial. No, no, no. A foreigner murdering a Japanese citizen? Even if it was in self-defense, it wouldn’t matter. Forget prison—you’ll probably be hanged.

So, you could run… But you probably wouldn’t get far. Or, you could do what every naive murderer in the movie about karmic retribution does and try your darnedest to get away with it.

“Option two it is!” you quit pacing and announce to the room. Thankfully, the body doesn’t respond.

A weak knock at the door sounds off—a gunshot. Your heart stalls, your head snapping to the entrance of the apartment. Who the hell is at your door? The person at the door knocks a second time, a little bit more insistently, and you start to sweat. “Hello, is everything alright? I—I heard a scream.”

You step up to the peephole and squint. A mild-looking man shuffles his feet outside your door. It’s your next-door neighbor, bathed in the ugly yellow lighting of your apartment complex. He smiles like he knows that you can see him.

This… isn’t ideal. You could choose to not answer him, but that probably wouldn’t work. What if he called the police? You take a breath. “Everything’s fine,” you call out.

The man’s smile freezes in place, somehow more eerie than a frown; his hands burrow deeper into his pockets. “Oh!” he says. “Are… Are you sure?”

You turn away from the peephole, a little unnerved. “Yeah, why?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, but I heard a lot more than a single scream.”

A slow, dreadful feeling starts to seep into your gut. “Pardon?”

There’s a pause. You swallow.

“These walls are thin.”

Fuck. He knows. Oh God, he knows.

No—that’s impossible. You were the only one to scream. Yasuhiro… He didn’t get the chance to. So this is just a concerned neighbor checking in on you. Nothing more, nothing less. You can prove it, prove that you’re okay.

You open the door a smidge so that you can peek through, then step outside and shut the door behind you. Your neighbor, what’s his name again? Okkotsu, right? Okkotsu’s brows lift at the sight of you, then relax. He’s wearing a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweats that should probably be criminal in Japan. His eyes flicker up and down your frame. You suppress a shiver.

“Just a horror movie,” you broach, offering him a polite smile. “I’m an easy fright.”

Okkotsu pulls a hand out of his pocket to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. His gentle smile has dimmed. “I’m not sure I believe you,” he says in an apologetic tone.

You both notice the tremor that runs through your body. Nosy fucking neighbors and their lack of sense when it comes to minding their own business. You stare mulishly at the floor. His shoes are simple. Black; scuffed. His left foot taps once against the floor. Whatever. You don't have to answer to him. Gathering up your resolve, you start to speak. “Listen, Okkotsu-san,” you say but are cut off quickly.

“Is that blood?”

That makes you freeze, eyes glued to the floor. A cold set of fingers dips under your chin and gently lifts it. Your gaze meets his: two pools of an endless, starless night. It flickers to a spot beside your ear knowingly and you reach for it.

He’s right. Blood sticks to your fingers, not yet dry. Lurking in the crevice behind your ear. You missed a spot.

“Well spotted.” It’s fruitless to lie now. You know it, he knows it. Now it’s a matter of who’ll crack first.

“Are you… Are you injured?”

Physically? No. Psychiatrically? Well, you just murdered a man, so.

“I’m unharmed.”

Okkotsu blinks owlishly. “Is that so?” He murmurs curiously, tilting your head to the side to observe the blood staining your skin.

You readjust your head and mimic him, blinking slowly. “Okkotsu—”

“Yuuta,” he interrupts.

You blink again. For such a mild, polite-seeming boy, he really is quite rude. And confusing. And terrifying. And you kinda sort of want him to die. “Okkotsu-san” you repeat. “I think it’s best if you leave.”

Okkotsu Yuuta’s smile returns, and it’s dangerously innocuous. He breathes your name out like a question. Starless eyes wander to your front door, then go back to studying your own. “Can I come inside?” he asks, quietly.

Everything stills, even your heart. You’re not quite certain you’re alive, when you ask, dubiously, “The apartment?”

Okkotsu just smiles.

You let Okkotsu come inside.

Which is absolutely fucking insane, but you have a feeling that your neighbor’s worse off than you are, and that’s truly saying something.

You hear him lock the door behind you before you start. Silently, you lead him past your living room, past Tsukino Usagi flying down the sidewalk on the way to school—the start of another episode, then—past your browning house plant hanging from the ceiling, into your quaint kitchen.

It’s nothing special. A small green stove with two bunsen burners on top. A sink; limited counter space. A couple of peeling cabinets. Tied in together with a white backsplash, shifting colors with each flicker of the TV. To the side, a small table sits, with two mismatched chairs tucked into it.

Oh, and there’s the dead body, too. Practically dribbling blood, painting your discounted rug muddy red and the surrounding blue tile purple.

Okkotsu lets out a soft sigh. “What a mess.”

You consider him from the corner of your eye. “That’s what I said,” you frown.

He shrugs, still looking at poor, dead, Yasuhiro. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Yeaaaah. It’s true.

A giggle escapes you, the reality of the situation finally hitting you. “Fuck,” you whisper in between the giggles. “I’m fucked.” It’s true. Utterly and thoroughly—no condom used.

“Not yet,” you barely hear him say over the fracturing of your composure. This is impossible. You killed a man tonight, then showed a stranger the corpse. You’re an idiot. You’re a freak. You can’t hide a dead body. You really might as well bend over and get it over with. Fuck.

Hands gripping your knees, you struggle to catch your breath. When did you lose it? Ah, who cares? Dead. You’re dead. The noose is looped around your hollowed throat, tightening by the second. Perhaps there’ll be two corpses on your kitchen floor by the time the sun is up. Perhaps you should’ve just let him kill—

“Breathe with me,” Okkotsu mutters, right in front of you, long hands gingerly clutching your shoulders. Which is strange. You had no idea he got so close. His thumbs swipe up and down, around and around, and you are flummoxed. But Okkotsu is patient, his chest compressing and expanding with each measured breath, and you are compelled to follow him. Slowly, you come down from your panicked high. You let out a shaky breath, eyes sliding back to the imposing guest in your apartment. The other imposing guest in your apartment.

The body in front of you lays eerily still, impervious to your mini breakdown. It’s not purple, or rotting, or excreting out the last remaining fluids left in its underwhelming husk. It’s just—laying there. Laying, not lying, because it is no longer a breathing thing that rests; now an object to be placed. Dehumanized, in every way. Then again, what is dehumanization if not just another word for murder? What is murder, if not just the taking away of a person’s autonomy? Dead bodies can’t rest. It will never lie again.

The dead body lays.

And you wonder for how much longer you’ll keep your own autonomy.

When do the dead start to attract flies? Realistically, you know it can range from a day to a few days for a decomposing body to become…obscene, depending on the environmental conditions. It hasn’t even been a few hours. You doubt flies will start buzzing around any time soon. If you move to crouch down and touch it, it’ll probably still be warm.

The swipe of a thumb over your shoulder brings your awareness back to your neighbor.

“Why are you helping me?” You ask, wiping the tears that have beaded up in the corners of your eyes. Your breathing is steadier now, but you’re still trembling. That damn window is still open.

The hands on your shoulders release, and you look up to gauge his thoughts. He’s frowning. His eyes cloud, then sharpen: lightning against a black sky. “You need to get rid of the body, don’t you?” It’s a rhetorical question, but you nod anyway.

“Then we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. I bet we’ll be done before dawn.”

He makes to walk away but you stay rooted to your spot, trying to figure out why this strange, strange neighbor of yours who makes friends with stray cats and tends to the apartment garden is willing to become an accomplice of murder for you.

“Okkotsu, are… Are you in love with me or something?”

Your neighbor stops, then snorts, and it sends a shiver down your spine. He turns back to face you. A soft pout lies on his lips as he skillfully evades your question with a request of his own. “Hey, if you’re gonna ask me something like that, why don’t you use my name next time?”

You don’t ask again.

You have far bigger problems than interrogating Okkotsu Yuuta, so you push it aside and stalk toward the body. Okkotsu joins you, and the two of you peer at the deceased man before you. It’s… Still. The blood has stopped its puddling; a thin line stretches the column of its throat. His throat was slit neatly, gracefully, like an act of love. It wasn’t one, but, maybe you gave Yasuhiro what he wanted, in a terrible, twisted way. How magnanimous of you.

Yasuhiro wasn’t an attractive man. Limp brown hair framing a slightly uglier-than-average face. At least he had the decency to close his eyes before his last, dying breath. They were blood-shot and wiry, the last time you saw them open. Bouncing haphazardly in its sockets like they couldn’t discern which corner of the room you stood in.

Okkotsu perks up at the sound of your harrumph. “What?” he questions you, and you slide your eyes over to him. Okkotsu Yuuta is distinctly pale, a trait that you’ve always noticed and have always sort of admired on him. It suits the subdued, yet haunted look he’s got going on. Black lashes feather the whites of his eyes, as well as the endless void of his irises. Yeah, he’s almost doll-like, in that gentle, haunting way of his.

“You’re creepier than the corpse,” you tell him instead and turn away, just barely hiding your smile. The laugh that rings out from him sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard.

Just kidding. It actually sounds kind of sweet.

Okkotsu follows you to the bathroom, where you’ve grabbed pretty much all of your cleaning supplies. You stuff them in a bucket and he hauls it out of your arms, the two of you shuffling back to the kitchen.

“So how should we go about this?” You muse, staring at the body. The movies you’ve seen are the only reference you have for the disposal of dead bodies, but those usually end with the killer getting caught, so you’re not so sure about mimicking their methods.

“I’m not sure,” Okkotsu says, tilting his head in thought. “Severing his limbs without the proper tools would be difficult. I guess we could carry him and bury him somewhere unassuming—unless you have a car that we could use?” A quick glance at you confirms that you don’t. He rubs his chin, nodding to himself. “Right. A garden cart will do, then. We should check to see if he has any identifiers on him, first, though. Oh, and we can’t forget about the teeth. Do you have any pliers?” He turns to you casually, eyes widening at the sight of your awe.

Thin black brows furrow in confusion. “What?” He asks.

You blink. “Have you…ever…?” Your voice dies in your throat.

Thankfully, he gets it. “Oh. No! No, I’ve never murdered a person,” he denies, dipping his head and tugging the neckline of his plain white tee. A curious look crosses his face. “But I could,” he tacks on cautiously.

You hug your arms and give a half-assed shrug. You can almost feel the weight of a kitchen knife in your dominant hand; the quick, fluid motion of ending a life.

“Anyone could,” you acquiesce, dismissing the conversation. Okkotsu hums mournfully in return.

According to his ID, Yasuhiro Souta is a twenty-seven-year-old male who lives in Chiba. What he was doing tumbling through your window in the middle of the night is anyone’s guess. Well, he did tell you, sort of shakily before he made to lunge at you, that you were supposedly his Valentine for the night. How sweet!

Snip. You met him for the first time a little over two months ago. He dropped his wallet on the train, so you picked it up and handed it to him in a silly attempt to be a decent person. It resulted in the man refusing to let go of your hand for a solid five minutes. Yes, yes, what an adorable meet-cute! Snip. When you managed to pry your clammy hands out of his vice-like grip, it was your stop, and, oh, how fortuitous, it was Yasuhiro’s as well! He followed you off the train into a random coffee shop, and it was only when you got the help of the employees that he backed off, the doorbell chiming as the glass door swung behind his back. Snip.

You thought that was the end of it, and proceeded about your day, running errands for a few hours until you retreated home. It shook you up for a little, yes, but it was nothing too crazy. You doubted you’d ever see him again.

Snip.

You slice Yasuhiro’s ID with your scissors until it’s a pile of ashes.

Okkotsu’s on his knees, holding a pair of pliers to the light. Wedged between the metal lies a crooked tooth. He hums to himself, plopping the tooth in a ziplock bag. He wears a pair of green garden gloves he grabbed from his apartment; you’re wearing a matching set. The rubber’s a little too big for you, but you’re making it work.

It's as Okkotsu calmly adjusts the head in his lap, preparing to yank another tooth that you stare at your strange partner, wondering how in the hell you got yourself into this situation. It’s been happening every so often: your acceptance of reality swinging in the opposite direction like the pendulum on a grandfather clock.

You shouldn’t have killed him.

You don’t care for Yasuhiro Souta’s life. You don’t care for the man who intended to assault you. But there’s not a chance in hell that this won’t get traced back to you.

You're fucked.

Why did it have to be like this? Why do bad things happen to good people?

That’s the way the cookie crumbles, darling.

And you crumble—crumbled—are crumbling when you turn to your neighbor. “Okkotsu-san,” you say, picking at your dirty nails.

“Yuuta,” the man insists. What a freak. He's a freak, and he's good, and you don't deserve it.

You take a deep breath, mulling over your doomed fate. It doesn’t have to be his, too. “You should get out of here. While you still can.”

There's an awkward pause. The strange man pulls out another tooth and plops it in the baggy. “There,” he says warmly, then draws to his full height. “Do you have a coffee maker?” You ball your fists around the plastic handle in your hands. Calm, calm, stay calm. “Did you hear what I just said?” You ask.

“Oh, I did,” Okkotsu hums. “I chose to ignore it.”

Your hands begin to shake as you repeat his words. “Ch—Chose to—”

Okkotsu says your name pityingly. “I thought we already had this conversation," he questions with pinched brows. “Why are we—”

“We?!” You interrupt, incensed. We. It's as if the curtains have been drawn open, allowing the rays of the illuminating, scorching sun to trickle through. It blinds you, and you have the urge to pull your eyes out and shove them down his throat. “You thought we? Who are you? You don’t know a damn thing about me!”

“I think I know a few things about you,” Okkotsu smiles sweetly, gesturing to the dead body in your apartment.

“Do you, now?” You laugh and toss your hands up to the ceiling. “Great! I have an idea!" You glare, the metal edge of your scissors catching the light. "If you know what I’m capable of, then you should get the hell out."

A pause. You pant, more worked up than have been all night and it's fucking ridiculous and you hate it. You want to choke—you want him to choke. On your blood-soaked fingers, preferably. He'd probably lick them clean.

Unaware of your depraved thoughts, Okkotsu’s lips pull into a frown. He sighs, running a ghostly hand through his hair.

“I’m not scared of you,” he tells you, quietly.

You hold your breath. “Maybe you should be.”

Your insufferable neighbor takes a step forward, that stupid frown still on his stupid doll face. “What’s your plan?” He prompts. “Do you intend to confess? To go to prison?” You shake your head slowly and he softens. “You don’t deserve that,” he says, like he really means it.

Why did you let this man into your house? Why is he offering you hope? It’s too much. The scissors slide out of all your fingers save for one; your limbs sag with a weariness that’s settled deep in your bones.

“You don’t know what I deserve.”

Okkotsu stops and considers you. Your chest heaves, your heart pounds, and you want out. You want out, and he can get out, and you don’t know… You don’t know why…

“If you want me to judge you, I won’t,” says Okkotsu.

You shake your head at his dismissal, your eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t judge you,” he continues, and there goes his cold, calloused hand again, gingerly tilting your chin upwards. The pair of scissors in your clutches drops fruitlessly to the floor. When you look up, there’s something like pleading in his endless, starless eyes. “Trust me,” he begs.

You shouldn’t. You know it with every fiber of your being that you should not trust Okkotsu Yuuta. The man who blinks like an owl and stares at you like you’re a mouse he can’t wait to swallow whole. Who blushes pink whenever you hold the elevator door for him. Who has cold fingers that cradle you so gingerly—who touches you like he knows you—who doesn’t cringe at the sight of dead bodies but gives a damn about a bit of blood staining the outside of your ear.

You shouldn’t. Trust him. But you—you feel as if he’s reached inside your chest and plucked out your pulsing, blackened heart.

“Do you love me?” You ask Okkotsu Yuuta again, heart throbbing in his hand.

His eyes don’t stray from yours. “Ask me again with my name,” he says quietly.

…You don’t know if you want to.

Releasing a breath, you push past him, snatch the ziplock bag from the floor, and stride towards the stove. “I’ll make coffee,” you say, already fiddling with the grinder.

Okkotsu lets you depart with a sigh.

“So what do you like to do when you’re not helping random people bury bodies?” You ask Okkotsu a couple of hours later. You stumble over a root in the dark, and Okkotsu’s quick to grab you by the waist and steady you. You continue, a bag full of your keys, water, pepper spray, freshly-bleached gloves, a burner phone that Okkotsu already had, for some reason, and two sets of clean clothes swinging against your back. You fidget with the shovel in your hands mindlessly, trying to get it to spin. A garden cart with a tarp draped over it creaks along the grass floor. The two of you have walked for who knows how long, but, according to him, you’re getting close.

The man beside you hums, surprisingly chipper for the nefarious activities afoot. “When I’m not busy, I like to garden and crochet. I also like making food for my friends from time to time,” he says in a simple, humble manner. The last part doesn’t surprise you. He’s brought you helpings of food on the most random occasions, showing up at your doorstep with self-proclaimed “leftovers” and shoving full plates into your arms with a velvety smile. That does beg the question, though…

“Have you considered us friends this whole time?” You squint at him in the dark, only the moonlight carving out the contours of his subtle, delicate features. You’re kind of surprised. You two made decent neighbors but only ever talked in short bursts outside your rooms. Your conversations rarely ever broke past polite mumblings about the weather.

Okkotsu pouts. “You mean, we’re not friends yet?” He asks, before breaking into a twinkling laugh.

“Shut up,” you bite, but you laugh too, lightly shoving at his arm. Okkotsu, bless him, pretends to stumble. It takes you a moment to suppress the heat burning the tips of your ears, but you do get it under control, eventually. “I meant… Before?”

His expression smoothens out before he gives a soft shake of his head. “No, not quite. But, I wanted us to be."

It’s quiet for a moment, nothing but the rustling under your feet and the ever-present, cacophonous sounds of nature. You spot a nest of sleeping birds tucked in between the branches of a tree and smile.

“Well,” you try to keep your cool, eyes sweeping over the forest's shadows, “Better late than never.”

It strikes you halfway to the burial grounds that Yasuhiro didn’t bring his phone with him to your apartment in his depraved, intoxicated state. He crawled up a tree, through your cracked-open bedroom window—conveniently avoiding cameras. So, once you’re done with this, you very may well be free.

It’s a terrifying notion, freedom.

“What about you?” Okkotsu asks you, something like ten minutes later. “What do you like to do for fun? Besides watch Sailor Moon, I mean.”

You bite your lip to keep from grinning. “Well,” you wonder aloud. “This is pretty fun, wouldn’t you say?”

Okkotsu lets out a little breath before he softly admits his agreement.

It rained earlier today, you forgot. The ground crumbles like clay when you swing the shovel into the ground. You and Okkotsu take turns making a grave, taking water breaks in between. There is hope alive in you, you realize, as the two of you work in tandem.

Yasuhiro Souta is lowered into the ground with all the dignity a dead man could possess. He lays atop a tarp and your old Persian rug. A stream rushes somewhere nearby, bubbling like blood, and you pray that the body will make good fertilizer. When your hand shakes, Yuuta grabs it.

You bury your clothes on the way back, a mile out. The sun peaks over the horizon.

When you return to your room with Yuuta in tow, your emotions overwhelm you: you are terrified and gleeful and sorry for all you’ve done.

It is mournfully quiet as you mop the purple tiles blue, bleach burning your nostrils and freshly scrubbed gloves. Yuuta’s left to clean the garden cart in the gardens. He returns shortly, though, offers you a small smile, and helps you scrub every inch of your apartment.

You scrub, and scrub.

And scrub.

“You’re beautiful,” Yuuta says to you when you’re in the middle of wiping your brow. You’re sitting cross-legged on your rugless kitchen floor, where a dead body once lay. Sweat clings to your skin in uncomfortable places and you reek of bleach. “Shut the fuck up and scrub, Yuuta,” you command.

Yuuta’s serene smile is unparalleled to anything you’ve ever seen before.

You could probably fall in love with him, you contemplate as you watch your neighbor make fluffy pancakes in the comforts of his own kitchen. If you haven’t fallen in love with him, already, that is. You doubt you’ll ever have a connection with someone as profound as the bond you share with the soft-spoken man who helped you bury a dead body.

Love, you marvel, in the span of a few hours.

It’s disquieting.

After multiple showers, and after Yuuta’s stuffed you with more pancakes than you can chew, the pair of you are lounging on his tatami mat, a much-needed change in scenery. You have like, three hours before you need to go to work, which, Yuuta agrees, is crucial to maintaining a veneer of normalcy. Which means this impromptu nightmare date will have to come to an end—as all good things do.

“I should probably get to bed,” you say after a lull in conversation.

Yuuta nods, reasonably. “That makes sense, yeah.”

“Got work in the morning and all that,” you continue in a nonchalant tone.

“Make sure your window’s locked.”

Fine. “Walk me out, will you?” You request. Okkotsu Yuuta, ever the gentleman, agrees, even though the front door is only a handful of feet away. He pushes himself off his knees and stands at full height, though his starless eyes are, as always, trained on you. You would probably find Yuuta’s full attention a little unsettling if you had not just slit a man’s throat that night.

You avoid his gaze all the same—stopping at his doorstep with your hands twisting at your sides. Yuuta stops beside you and waits patiently for you to string your words together.

You clear your throat. “Hey, um—”

“Hi,” Yuuta interrupts, and you smile, filled with the courage to go on.

“So, the thing is… Well, I probably wouldn’t have made it anywhere far without you. I acted quite amateur back there, you’d think this was my first dead body I was trying to hide, or something, ha. Um, so yeah, thank you—from the most sincere and vulnerable depths of my heart. I guess I’ll see you around? Okay, bye.”

A hand wraps around your wrist before you can run home with your tail tucked between your legs. Yuuta murmurs your name in a soft, dulcet tone, and you’re not certain you’re prepared to hear whatever he has to say. You turn to face him anyway, because, well, you owe him that much.

“Yes?”

“Don’t you have something to ask me?” He chides.

The pit in your stomach swoops. “Not that I recall,” you lie with a straight face.

“Try again,” Yuuta smiles sweetly, like a haunted little doll.

“It’s been a long day, you know—”

“Cold, I’m afraid.”

“My brain isn’t functioning at its peak—”

“Hmm, getting colder!”

“I don’t think I can.”

A pause. You avert your gaze and allow yourself to get analyzed by Yuuta’s doleful, starless eyes. “Hey,” he calls your name, asks you to look at him.

You look at him.

“Good," he hums.

You roll your eyes, loop an arm around his long neck, and drag him to you.

Okkotsu Yuuta tastes like the earth. From dust to dust, you are at the end and beginning when you capture his lips between yours. He responds quickly, hands digging firmly into your waist as he knocks you into his door frame, and you quickly learn what it means to be savored. You intended the kiss to be a quick, rash, thing, but he slows you down, melds into you languidly like you have all the time in the world. When he sucks on your bottom lip, you both moan, breaking apart for air. Yuuta slips his hands underneath your shirt, and for once, his cold hands burn, lighting the fire for something you’re not certain you’ll be able to finish.

“Go ahead and ask me already, love,” Yuuta murmurs into your ear. And, well, fuck. You melt. “Yuuta,” you whisper as he nips at your neck. “You love me, yes?”

At that, he bites down at the hollow of your neck. You gasp, then sigh when he instantly cools the wound with his tongue. “Obviously,” he replies, quite simply, thumb swiping delicately at your stomach.

“Great,” you gasp, and Yuuta looks at you and beams.

And, there goes your heart again, pulsing in his cold, calloused hands. Cradle it gently, Yuuta, won’t you?

fin. if u made it this far, ily

#mushy writes .𖥔 ݁ ˖#yuuta x reader #yuta x reader #jjk x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta x you #yuta x you #jjk x gn!reader #tw: blood #tw: death #m.jjk #m.yuuta #battle scarred;#yuuta my beloved <3

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an-idyllic-novelist · 5 months

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rimuru tempest with fem!tanjiro!reader headcanons

Hey guys, welcome to another collaboration with @deathmetalunicorn1, though the credit on the concept of the pairing and these headcanons go to my dear friend. I really hope you will enjoy what we have written. If you'd like to see more content like this, or an extended version of these headcanons, please let us know!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy! :)

Although Rimuru Tempest knows his significant other and her little sister are strong, he will not stop worrying about Tanjiro!reader’s wellbeing, especially when she and Nezuko leave Tempest on a mission, and he is unable to join them for whatever reason. His anxiety will increase tenfold when his relationship with the former Demon Slayer evolved from being friends who just happened to stumble upon each other’s paths as soon as he left Veldor’s cave to being lovers.

It will be very hard for the demon lord to sleep for the first few nights when he is so used to curling up next to Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko, the latter sprawled out and almost always in her toddler form. However, when she does return, Tanjiro!reader will always bring back a souvenir from wherever she traveled to, normally a tasty treat or a cute little knick-knack she saw at a market.

[To ease his lord’s worries, Diablo will mobilize a few of the Black Numbers to keep a discreet eye on the Kamado siblings, personally delivering periodical reports on their whereabouts to Rimuru when it was an appropriate time between meetings and inspections around the capital. After all, an excellent butler must be able to anticipate his lord’s every need and alleviate his concerns so that he may continue to focus on his duties in the land. If something does happen, Diablo will act immediately and make sure Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko return to Tempest safely.]

Tanjiro!reader unwinds from her journey with a big hug from Rimuru in both his slime and human form. Rimuru would receive affection from Nezuko if she isn’t sleeping in her box in the form of bone crushing hugs or his hair being ruffled by a clawed hand. If Rimuru hadn’t eaten, she would whip a simple home-cooked meal that is either a traditional recipe from the Kamado household, or one that Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, had taught her when they were alive back in her old world.

Rimuru will definitely join in and help, even all she’ll allow him to do in the kitchen is wash the dishes.

After he had been reincarnated in this world, he took the Japanese cuisine he had eaten for granted, even the microwaveable ramen noodle cups he’d heat up in the company break room when he had to work late at the office. Back then, Misaki Satoru didn’t care much about his health so much as worried about forever remaining a virgin because he couldn’t score a date with a cute girl.

He honestly couldn’t have anything resembling his homeland’s cooking until his country was developed further, including the dwarves’ metal-working and the orcs’ infamous work ethic. He couldn’t remember how many times he had told Geld and the others to rest even when they insisted that they kept working. Now, he could share a meal and enjoy a hot bath with someone he loves very dearly.

Nezuko is, of course, welcomed to join them in the bath since she loves swimming around the large hot spring he had built in the back of his home. When she joined them, Rimuru reverted to being a slime to protect Nezuko’s innocence. If he’s alone with Tanjiro!reader, he’ll either be a slime or his human form, depending on his mood.

Speaking of which, Nezuko is the little sister everyone in Tempest adores and will be fiercely protected. Rimuru is her favorite person, but when Milim decides to stop by for a visit, she is Nezuko’s new favorite, no matter how much he bribes her with newest confections that were created or toys. But between these two….Nezuko will always pick Tanjiro!reader, if she’s an option.

Rimuru’s love language includes quality time, words of affirmation, and gift-giving. But what he enjoys the most is having afternoon tea on the porch, him sitting in her lap as a slime and munching on sticks of mitarashi dango or different flavored onigiri.

If anything happened to either Tanjiro!reader or Nezuko because an enemy nation was jealous of Tempest’s flourishing economy and thought it would be a brilliant idea to hold them hostage or try to hurt them….they had better be prepared to have another kingdom falling into ruins.

Remember what happened to Falmuth?

Taglist

@sunnyblackbird

@abelheilonwife

@nunezs-stuff

#an idyllic novelist #x reader headcanons #fem!reader #tanjiro!reader #kny x reader #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #rimuru tempest x reader #tensei shitara slime datta ken #that time i got reincarnated as a slime x reader #rimuru x reader #rimuru tempest #tensei shitara slime datta ken x reader

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absolutebl · 14 days

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This Week in BL - new entries upset the rankings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Like most Thai BL pulps, this show doesn’t have much story to it. But I'm discovering that what it does have I actually really enjoy. I love that the gay boys got to play matchmaker for a change and I like how just GAY they are. It's nice. Refreshing.

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon. I like it. It’s old school Thai BL, but having fun with itself and its tropes. I’m not expecting much, so I don’t mind it waffling. All the couples are comfy. Chemistry is okay. Friendships are nifty. I like Pond's floppy hair. We fine.

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - What an extremely bloody episode. And bad guy turned out to be very bad indeed. And now pretty much everyone is dead. Nice kiss. Of course.

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 6 of 8 - It’s cute, they happy, not a ton happened. Random gratuitous bathing. As you do in BL. And I still think the sides should just end up in a thrupple

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they very cute. Also very silly.

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - No. NOT THE GUITAR. YES abandon guitar for the sniff test! Love this for them. And me. My most favorite trope defeated my least favorite trope. VICTORY!!!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 8 of 11 - It’s just so good. Baby went away, grew up, and learned how to become a temptation... and a husband.

Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 5 eps - SooHyuk, only just surviving, reunites with YoonDae, his (brief) younger stepbrother who feels abandoned. They end up living together. The younger brother is played by Lee Jae Bin of Choco Milk Shake. OMG. STEPBROTHERS TROPE. Lucky me! Two in one season. Yay!!!! It's Korea so great visuals too. I shallow but yeah, this is great.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake. It’s utterly charming. I am charmed. Also the framing is gorgeous (of course). Very stylish.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know. Kind of a flat ending with the leads apart for most of it. I enjoyed this show but it never really hit with me.

Summation

After a teen betrayal and resulting separation a reporter reunites with his first love. That love wants him back. I enjoyed the authenticity of a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scenes with this Japanese style of authenticity was oddly elegant but all in all this still fell a little flat for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, but in total the narrative felt sluggish and the main couple were just... stiff (in the wrong way). Frankly, I'd rather just rewatch Tokyo in April is. 8/10

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - What is going on with this show? No, I get the plot. I just don't get the show or why I’m watching it. Annoying.

It's done, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7-8fin - I can't for the life of me find the final 2 episodes. Haven't had a real hunt, but yeah. No dice so far.

It's airing but...

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari (Japan Furritsubs) eps 1-? of 10 - I may wait and binge it.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - only 4 eps, tell me if I should bother?

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/18 At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

Still to Come in April

4/25 Boys Be Brave! AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - Trailer Jung Ki Sub is Kim Jin Woo's slacker friend - and secret crush. So when Ki Sub crashes at his place, his heart tingles to be near him everyday. But as the short stay turns into permanent mooch, how long can Jin Woo keep his true feelings under wraps and hold back from confessing?

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Sniff test turning into a make out sesh? Please and thank you. City of Stars

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a bother.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 2 months

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A/N ::: Just some HC's about what aftercare might be like with some of the boys (don't @ me, they're FICTIONAL, first of all. And go read my pinned post -> everyone is at least 18, but I imagine them 25 or older. Just a friendly reminder! Thanks!)

I have some more ideas lined up for a 2nd part//or whatever but I'm not gonna do them if this doesn't fall into the laps of people who really enjoy it. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

C/W ::: Hanma/Chifuyu/Baji/Kisaki/Kazutora/Draken x F.reader, talk of sex, and things that go along with it. Hair pulling, dirty talk (not in detail really) ... if anything wasn't listed and you just know it should be (like the world will end if I don't include it), let me know!

WC ::: 1,289 (I can't stop. And no, I'm not sorry.)

PART 2

Ⓗanma ::: He would kiss all the red, splotchy spots he made on your body. Rubbing your bum to soothe the burn of where his hand came down so hard, so many times. You'd be laying there totally enjoying the sweetness that he's giving you until you feel his cock press into your hip. You look at him with that quirked brow, narrowed eyes, and smirk on your lips, just daring him to push you for "one more". Hanma has his hands out in front of him, almost like he's defending himself against the look on your face. "I - promise. I promise to be more gentle this time." He leans down to kiss your tits and take a bright and swollen nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and trying to convince you that he will, in fact, go easier on you this time. "YOLO, hana. C'mon." He runs his fingers over your still soaked cunt. "You're a real bastard, y'know that, Shu? Fine. But this time, I'm beating your ass."

((*Hana -> Blossom in Japanese))

Ⓒhifuyu ::: He's going to have whatever you could need or want already at his place. Obviously, you have what you need at your place. But sometimes you're not home. So it's nice to have him prepared. He'd have stuff for you to take a nice bath after he wrecked you. There would be a pretty, mirrored tray in his bathroom with a variety of essential oils and little vials of bath salts for his baby to use at her leisure. Chifuyu would low-key do some research on which oils did what. Peppermint was uplifting and good for headaches. Lavender was good to calm your mind and ease muscle aches. He would be the kind of guy to pull your hair while he's fucking you from behind telling you "Turn ... turn your head so I can see how fuckin' beautiful you look while you're takin' this cock. Fuckin' love you so ... fuckin' ... much, angel. Make me feel so good. 'M I makin' you feel good, too? Yeah? Fuck yeah, want you to cum all over me with that gorgeous pussy of yours."

Ⓑaji ::: He is the wildcard and the surprising one when it comes to aftercare. Sometimes 97.9% of the time, his aftercare evolves into more sex. Whether it's oral (he likes to lick up the cummy mess from your puffy little pussy - and moan a little about it - which fuckin' only turns you on more so it's partially your fault that you guys fuck again when he was planning on taking care of you ... just in a different way). He loves you, though. He loves the pink glow of your cheeks (face and ass - and it doesn't matter if you're fair-skinned or a darker tone - dude WILL make sure he changes the natural hue of your flesh). Baji enjoys seeing his large handprint on your ass and thighs. Also will kiss at all the bite marks he's left on your body - your whole body. There is no discrimination when he sinks his teeth into you. Man will just kind of let his heart guide him and he'll bite wherever his mouth lands. He does a bunch of little things for you: He'll bring you your favorite drink (which he learned right away), he will order takeout if you're hungry (he knows what to get), he lays with you and holds you close to him if it was a particularly rough and raunchy romp. Secretly enjoys the closeness almost more than you do.

Ⓚisaki ::: Is a dumbass ... at first. The first time you guys fucked he hopped up and took a shower. Liiiiike, no, dude. Wrong. Answer. Asshat. He's pissed that Hanma told him that he was an absolute idiot for doing that. Like, how did that shit ass know more than him!? However, once Kisaki is made aware of what is expected (but NOT expected, however, much appreciated), he is almost a changed man. After a slow and close afternoon rendezvous at his place, you're both laying there, basking in the afterglow. He stays in bed with you for a while and kisses your cheek, rubs your hip with the palm of his freakishly warm hand, giving you a squeeze occasionally. "You uh, *aheh*, can I get you anything, ningyō? Water, tea? Are you hungry? Anything you want." He smiles at you nervously, trying to recall what Hanma instructed him to say. "No, Kisa', I think right now I just want you to be here with me. Is that ok? Will you stay?" He nods his head, "Of course. But I still want to shower." You roll your eyes but appreciate the time he's sharing with you anyway.

((*Ningyō -> Doll in Japanese))

Ⓚazutora ::: Seems to think that aftercare = afterplay 🔁 foreplay. It's not such farfetched logic. But you love how fucking sweet on you he is. He kisses all over your body; your neck is his favorite place to kiss you when you're in the kitchen working together toward the level of aftercare you both deserve. He'll stand behind you and run his hands all over the expanse of your hips, back, waist, chest. Then he'll start salivating a little heavier at the thought of sucking on your nipples. How hard and squishy (HOW THOUGH) they are between his lips. Kazutora will dip down under your arm and stand between you and the counter as you're cutting up something and start kissing you - quite heavily. And you don't mind, but you're still kind of wiped out from the hour and a half you two just spent in bed. But his big, curious eyes just have this effect on you and you stretch out your neck when he starts to nuzzle his nose in there and whisper how much he wants to go down on you again make sure that pretty little pussy isn't still sore. He wants to give you a "massage" to ease any discomfort. "You won't have to lift a finger - un-unless you want to, momo. Please?" He will just pick you up and carry your ass back to the room and take his sweet, sweet time with you. AGAIN.

((*Momo -> Peach in Japanese))

Ⓓraken ::: D-R-A-K-E-N *sighs dreamily*. This big fool. The things you do to/for each other are out of this world. Your bodies were made for one another. Period. Not only does he have you down to a science while he's fucking you, his aftercare is top notch. Draken is the kind of guy who will pull your hair so your ears are closer to him and he'll whisper the filthiest and most nasty shit to you. He's also the kind of guy who will hold your hand to the shower (once you're able to walk again) and wash your hair to ease any residual burning on your scalp. He'll gently brush it out while you sit at your vanity in the bathroom and bend over to whisper incredibly sweet things to you. He's not trying to cancel all the things he did to you (for you??) but he likes there to be a balance. He doesn't want things to get too off kilter. So expect an equal or greater reaction from him in the aftercare routine. Draken will also pay attention to small cues from you and if you ever seem bothered by anything - he doesn't care how small or stupid you might think it is - he always gets you to tell him. So don't waste time. Just fucking tell him so he can go back to being the best boyfriend to you.

Taglist ::: @kazutora-kurokawa @katkitkats @arlerts-angel @viburnt @darkstarlight82

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ystrike1 · 9 months

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Ore no Oppai Suki nandesho? - By Enya Maru (8/10)

This sugary sweet yandere uses his body to get what he wants. Our responsible, neighborly protagonist doesn't stand a chance against his charms!!! Or his stalking! Or his fake cute act! Or...

Hase is a model on the rise. Soon he'll be an actor! But...he was a naive loser before. Without help from his neighbor, Akane, his career never would have taken off. Before he was too young, but now he's buff as hell, and coincidentally Akane loves huge muscles.

Akane is an office lady who wants a boyfriend. She's too mature to mess around, and she doesn't want to ruin her friendship with Hase. His excuses start to get ridiculous. Akane tries to put distance between them, so he pretends to lose his keys so he can sleep on her couch.

He's pretty insistent.

Kinda whiny too.

It gets to the point where he's sleeping on her couch 3x a week.

Just kinda waiting for her to give in and date him....

The yandere stuff happens in the speech bubbles only at first. Hase is a soft and somewhat pathetic yandere. He knows Akane likes to take care of him, and he takes advantage of that. He's clearly capable. He's a model, and that's a hard industry to break in to. He likes to relax with Akane, and he loves being vulnerable and silly with her.

She just won't admit she likes him because of the age gap, and the fact that they live very different lives.

He literally says she's just making excuses.

She's not sure if she can handle dating him though.

Her concerns are totally valid.

He's VERY NEEDY.

His plotting gets more obvious.

He literally presses his boobs against her and he tries to bathe with her...he plays innocent but she gets it. He is OBVIOUSLY INTO HER AND SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH IT THEY CANNOT STAY FRIENDS.

They are very likeable as a couple. In the beginning Hase wasn't lying. He was totally lost. He couldn't even speak Japanese, and he was alot younger. Akane didn't help him for selfish or lusty reasons. Akane is insecure about him being a model, but he says he cares about happiness more than superficial looks. He's absolutely right. Hase isn't a cookie cutter hot and capable guy. Alot of women would not wanna date this guy, because he's a meat head that acts like a baby in private.

I love that.

More yanderes with silly personalities please.

It's not really played for humor either.

He's just not a stereotypical cool model guy.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #Ore no Oppai Suki nandesho?

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devildomresidentt · 3 months

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Fav Music Genre Headcanons

Demon Bros Edition

Thinking about Lucifer, who will commonly be seen listening to Classical music in the music room, but personally prefers Gothic music/bands because of his strong liking to the intricate instrumentals and the unique vocals that pair perfectly alongside a glass of chilled Demonus.

Mammon, who loves to play Oldies rock as he gambles the night away at the Casino, and later on spend the rest of his night cruising around the Devildom, admiring the bright lights that illuminate the city streets as he relaxes to the 2000’s R&B quietly playing from his car speakers.

Leviathan, who can’t help but blast K-Pop from his speakers as he sings his heart out from across the hall, but will calmly blast Japanese City-Pop through his headphones as he reads Manga and unwind from his previous gaming match.

Satan, who grew a deep liking to Alternative music. He finds comfort and relatability in the lyrics, and he strongly feels that there’s no better way to spend a rainy night other than with a good book, a cup of warm earl-grey tea, and the sounds of Alternative Rock coming from his headphones.

Asmodeus, who loves 2010’s Pop-Music almost as much as he loves himself. Humming to the upbeat music coming from the light pink speaker as he does his morning facial routine, and softly singing along to it as he takes his nightly bath in the later hours of the Devildom Night.

Or Beelzebub, who found himself drawn to 90’s/2000’s HipHop/Rap, he enjoys the beat and flow of it, and he finds its the perfect background noise to tune out the slightly annoying sounds of the gym machinery and equipment as he works out at the Local Gym.

And we can’t forget Belphegor, who loves 2000’s Scene Music and Scene Culture as a whole. But you always find him blasting Heavy/Industrial Metal though his headphones during the RAD Class hours, just loud enough for you to hear every lyric being sung over the aggressive beat, and if you ever ask him about it he’ll always respond with a simple, “It helps me stay awake”

(( Author note - TY FOR THE SUPPORT ON THE LAST ONE <333 I REALLY APPRECIATE IT AND ID LOVE TO HEAR ANY REQUESTS YOU GUYS HAVE FOR ANY FUTURE POSTS ^^ ))

#obey me #obey me swd #lucifer obey me #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me!#obeyme!#obey me nightbringer #obey me hcs #obey me drabble #obey me shall we date

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sugar-grigri · 5 months

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What would happen if we killed death ?

Here we are, Chapter 150, so let's not waste any more time and get straight to the analysis.

This chapter is rich, incredibly rich, both in what it says and in the way it is presented. This time I'm going to tackle the visuals directly in the first part of the chapter.

As you've probably gathered by now, this chapter deals with the evolution of Denji's dream, as the title clearly indicates.

What's interesting is to see how it plays out visually. The alleyway is a visual element that has been used several times by Fujimoto to signify a period in Denji's life, his childhood.

It metaphorically represents not only an unhappy childhood and loneliness, but also the gap between a needy child ignored by society. Worse still, he is excluded. When Denji emancipates himself, the focus is on passers-by, on others. As Denji symbolically leaves the alleyway, he realises that he is now part of society. His dream of a normal life should be understood as a desire to live in a community, among others, and to make friends with them.

In other words, getting out of the alley is Denji's lifelong dream, the key to his self-fulfilment and to a certain path forward.

It's a metaphor that Fujimoto loves once again. In this illustration, for example, Aki and Power are heading towards the light while Denji is still in the shadows. Bathed in light, Aki and Power represent both a key to Denji's happiness and fulfilment, just as the light represents the end of a journey: their destiny, the end of their own lives.

This illustration is extraordinary because Denji's gaze is fixed backwards, towards the alleyway, focusing on his flaws and his past. He is unaware, because he is not looking at them, that the key to his fulfilment has already been found, that he is in the process of leaving the alleyway. What's more, even if this means the end of Power and Aki's existence, they are serene, as if they know that happiness, even without them, will await Denji.

That's my first comment, so let's move on to what's happening in terms of action and dialogue.

Nayuta focuses on ordinary life, which helps Denji realise that he has reached it. It may seem odd that Denji is only just realising this now, but he is someone who operates by the senses. Moving away from the alley visually helps him realise his emancipation, as does seeing these ordinary people.

But above all, if Denji didn't entirely realise it, it's also because he wasn't happy in this ordinary life, as the last arc showed. Torn by the fact that he was no longer Chainsaw Man, Denji didn't realise that he was ordinary because he thought that was what would make him happy, and as he wasn't, he didn't think that his dream had been achieved for some time. It may sound complex, but once again it makes a lot of sense when you realise that Denji is someone who functions by sensation.

But it's even more subtle than that: Denji had realised that he was getting closer to his dream, but that wasn't why he allowed himself to dream about something else. And that's precisely where the power of this chapter lies: it's by starting to dream of something else that he reconnects with his identity, because the contract between him and Pochita is the pursuit of a dream. In other words, Denji was not only Chainsaw Man to protect Nayuta from the public hunters, he was no longer Chainsaw Man because he no longer allowed himself to dream. Until then, Chainnaw Man was an empty shell.

When Denji says he wants to become Chainsaw Man, he means he now wants to dream.

We come to the figure of the raven crushed by Denji as he runs: what does it mean?

One possible interpretation is that we don't know. I'm not saying this to clear my name, but because I think that's its real symbolism. In the West, the raven is generally a sign of bad omens, whereas in other cultures, such as Japanese or Celtic, the raven is the symbol of a god, the sun in Japan. Even if we could associate the raven with the metaphor of light coming out of the alleyway, the fact remains that it is not an animal that is appreciated or venerated in Japan, notably for the fact that it is a vulture that picks through rubbish.

It's this ambiguity that the raven represents, something that can't be pinned down. It's interesting, because by trampling on it, Denji turns to another dream, is it a good omen or a bad one? No one knows whether claiming to be Chainsaw Man will help Denji find happiness.

That would be one possible interpretation. But for the sake of completeness, there is one last one.

When I say that symbolism is hard to establish, it's only when I refute an obvious one. Let me explain: whether it's Bucky and his death, Yoru and Asa's death, the birds and Yuko being killed by Fake!CSM, and finally that raven. It's obvious that not only the raven but the bird in general represents death but also the end of a period, an era, a cycle.

Not only do the birds mark the end of one cycle, they also signal the beginning of a new one. Bucky's death opens Part 2, Yoru marks the beginning of Asa's second life, and Yuko's death ushers in the arrival of the most mysterious character in Part 2: Fake!CSM. The Raven marks the beginning of a new dream.

I think we need to be more subtle in this analysis and see it through to the end. Asa and Denji both do the same thing, they either crush birds or they give death to death.

It seems impossible but just as the bird that is supposed to fly in the skies is rarely found under our feet to be crushed. Asa and Denji are the two champions, the two candidates to prevent Death, and little by little the birds mark the cogs in a mechanism that is being put in place: the confrontation with Death.

My various interpretations can add up, and when they do, they lead to one question: when we give death to death, what happens? Is it necessarily a bad thing ?

The fact that the birds symbolise a link with death is correlated with the fact that Denji loses his family and his dogs when his flat burns down. The destruction of his home represents the erasure of Denji's landmarks, what he had built up, returning to the cause of departure, since we are at the beginning of a new era, a new cycle.

The relationship with death is correlated by Barem, who not only intends to fight it but also sees it as a common denominator for all species.

I love the play on words that the flamethrower hybrid introduces: "I figure killing Asa wouldn't fire you up that much", it really supports Barem's desire to arouse Denji and get him to react.

But all that aside, there are other things to relate. Not least with our other protagonist: Asa.

To return to the metaphor of the alley, visually and symbolically, she's the one who joined Denji in the alley. She's not just a symbol of Denji's step towards others, but also a symbol of others' step towards him.

Fujimoto encourages us to reread the chapters using the key vectors of the dog and the cat.

This line is the centrepiece.

Not only does Barem support the death once again of Denji's family, his dogs and his cat, but it's much more subtle than that. They are the key to a love that is not only universal, but also the key to Asa and Denji's happiness, and to their ability to bond with other species. When Denji wanted to save Asa from the falling devil, he told her straight away to think of cats and dogs.

They are also a symbol of progress, Asa bonding with her cat after the death of her mother, while Denji bonds with Pochita after the death of his father.

They are also what unites the two protagonists of Chainsaw Man: a cat with Asa and a dog with Denji. Just as Fujimoto likes to emphasise the influence they have on each other, whether it's Asa who places Denji between the criminal and the cat or how Yoru will behave like a dog because of Nayuta.

So what does Barem's line clearly mean? What I find incredible is that every time Barem tries to put Denji against the wall, he always unconsciously provides an element of the answer.

At their first meeting in chapter 140: Barem tries to present Denji with a dilemma. Asa Mitaka or Chainsaw Man? The answer is unconsciously found in the two fingers he plunges into Denji's nose: both.

Here again, Barem thinks he has Denji pegged, it's not Asa that matters to him but his dogs and cat. But note the plural, Denji only has one cat, Meowy. Now we make the connection: Asa represents the cat. She's also important to Denji.

If you're not convinced by Barem's unconscious response, then here again you can see a parasitic gesture in the fact that he knocks Denji down. Who else always falls at the wrong time? Who fell when their family was also dying? Well, yes. Barem's only point here is that even if Asa and Denji don't know each other very well, they don't really need to, given their similarities.

Once again, Barem thinks he's cornering Denji when he doesn't realise that he's just included Asa in what he's saying. Once again this is symbolic writing, with elements of foreshadowing and denouement of the characters subtly placed in Barem's lines. Barem likes to make prophetic announcements, as he is also a believer, but his message escapes him because he is not aware of the work in which he finds himself.

But that doesn't help us to understand what happens when we kill death ?

The characters can't guess at the omens that lie ahead. Just as their own message eludes them.

The only thing we know for sure that these birds are announcing is the end of an era and a new era.

The answer is so obvious that it escapes us. We have seen the resemblance between these two protagonists, their families, their losses, the destruction of their homes, their landmarks. We could say that this would be mourning.

But moving on despite the end of all these cycles, without knowing what lies ahead. Isn't that just growing up?

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