#I love romcom type of fights

[flothunderstorms]

FAVOURITE BAND

𝑰𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒙 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒐’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏’𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅.

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄���𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Warnings: Well, I honestly don’t know? Only that Alex is petty and a sappy romantic at the same time.

Word Count: 6.5k

The sky is crying lightning.

No pun intended. Literally, the rain is pouring heavily with the sound of thunder shaking the insides of my room.

It’s gloomy. It’s dark. It’s cold. And it’s only 10 in the morning.

In the past, I never got to appreciate the weather. I never got to notice every single droplet that hits the pavement nor feel the cool breeze of air as the storm unravels.

Oh how it’s nice to finally be not on the move.

Is it really?

I shake my head to get rid of that nagging voice in my head.

That voice that seems to mock me and question every single decision I make in my life ever since I broke up with him.

He who must not be named.

Okay, the ‘him’ is Alex Turner.

He is practically everywhere. There is no way I could not known his presence nor not a day I’m not hearing his voice as their songs play on the radio every single day on every damn radio station nor see his face as it is plastered around London and is on every social media sites as their band keeps on skyrocketing its popularity in the world.

And I’m happy. Of course I’m happy. I’ll always be proud of him. But God, that was why we broke up.

It’s too much.

Or is it?

Of course it’s too much! We were always on the move. Everything is about him. I support him. I fly with him. I stayed with him. I felt bad that I never had a proper job and I’m always on tour with him and free tagging along and it felt like I’m losing myself. Albums after albums. Tour after tour. Awards after awards. I’m happy for him for getting what he finally deserves as I’ve been here since day 1, since the debut album.

But who am I? What am I to him?

I’m just known to be Alex Turner’s girlfriend. That I’m nothing but his comfort while on tour. The girl people crop out in photos and replace their faces with. Honestly, I have no grudge over that.

But then came the new Album. Their Fifth album. It was different from their previous album and I was enthralled.

But then he said:

“It’s all about you, peach,” Alex says as he rubs his nose lovingly on my cheek.

I chuckle nervously, avoiding his gaze when he places his hand on my cheek to stare directly at me. He doesn’t know all the death threats and nasty remarks I have read earlier online as I have promised him I won’t ever look at them before.

But I can’t help it. All of this just because I loved a boy?

"I wouldn't if I were yous and are you sure 'bout the tunes?" I smile uneasily.

His brows furrow and uncertainty flash around his brown eyes.

“Don’t you like it? Are they shite?”

I immediately shake my head. “No, no! God, no! Al, you’re one of the best musicians out there and I’m sure your tour ticket sales and monthly listeners speaks for it. I just, well, most of your fan base hates me so I don’t think it would be wise to let the world know you wrote these songs about me.”

His stare deepens and seriousness takes over his feature.

“I don’t care people say about me nor to us. I love you and they should get over it. Why should I hide the fact that I made these songs about my girlfriend? The love of my life? My inspiration?” He states in all seriousness.

“Good to know you call me when you’re high,” I joke, his features softening.

“Okay not all songs are about you obviously but majority, you. You’re my muse.”

We broke up with not really knowing what and how it happened.

Everything just changed. It was extra busy. It was extra heavy. It was extra suffocating. It was chill busy before, but since the new album came out, he suddenly had this different approach which I support as I know he loves to embody every song he plays and for this tour he’s some rock ‘n roll rockstar, but everything just felt different for some reason. This time it is dark. It’s more loud at the after party. It was more alcohol and at times some drugs that ensue afterwards.

It’s too messy and chaotic, and I realise I need to breathe. I need to stop. I need order.

I need to break up with him before we both bring each other on the ground with no one to lift the other and save from falling at the pits of chasm.

“And you should get a real job this is not gonna work out!” I shout from the other side of the room as I pack my things with blurred vision from tears I have been keeping at bay not to fall freely on my face.

I don’t know why I said it when in reality it should be me who should get a real job.

Alex is just standing there, confused. Honestly, I am too. I don’t know what we’re fighting about. I don’t know what the argument is at all. I don’t know why we’re screaming at each other’s face.

And we’ve been like this for weeks now.

“I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby, something I can do to prove you wrong. This is my job. This is a real job! I love my job!” Alex hits back.

“Your job to snort cocaine off someone’s thighs at the after party of your show?” I grit my teeth in agitation.

He rolls his eyes and throws his arms in the air.

“You were there! It was a dare! You said I should go for it!” He widens his eyes as he reasons out.

“What should I even reply when everyone is staring at me expectantly to agree already and if I say no I know this will be a topic on the news that I’m your strict girlfriend that you should cut off as I’m ruining your rockstar image?!” I bite back.

“Well, you’re no fun!” Alex replies childishly.

I bite the insides of my cheek from refraining from replying anymore because I know it would be useless. He’s high and I don’t know how high he is nor if his mind is still grounded on this world. This is just a never ending cycle of conversation that all would be forgotten tomorrow day, and I sigh at that realisation.

Maybe it’s time to end the cycle.

And now I’m here all alone on a gloomy afternoon wrapped in duvet laying on my queen sized bed.

Boring.

Maybe this is what I need: Boring. Not on the move. It’s nice. No backstage. No aeroplanes. No more hotels. No champagnes. No fucking every after show and even before he goes on stage. No travelling. No discovering new places together. No being tourists in another country. No post adrenaline every after show. No parties. No clubs.

No Alex Turner.

Maybe I don’t need it. Maybe I never needed it. Maybe I am happy. Boring. Yes. Yes this is what I need.

I need common. Boring. Normal. I need normalcy. I need plain. I need not to be on the move. I need… I need Alex.

No, get it over yourself.

Just in time as if the universe is making some sick joke about me, my phone began to ring.

Oh, it’s Ben. Wow.

I accept the call and smile widely, as if he’s seeing me from the other side of the call.

“Good afternoon, love!”

His voice is lighter. His accent is that of proper stereotypical British accent.

I’m missing the deep raspy voice with a tinge of Sheffield accent.

Nope. Shut up.

“Hey, Ben! What’s up?”

“Well, just wanna ask if you have any plans tonight? You know, for a third date,” he giggles.

He giggled.

He giggled like he is hiding something mischievously from me.

I scrunch my nose and hit myself mentally for picking every move he does and start to compare it with Alex.

“No! I’m free. I have nothing to do,” I say with a hint of sarcasm to myself. Of course, you are free now. You have nothing to do now. You are boring now.

“Well, it’s settled! I’ll pick you up at 6? We’re going somewhere!” Ben announces with much enthusiasm that I feel a slight of guilt for not being able to reciprocate.

“Ooh, where to? Dress code?”

“It’s a secret! It’s my favourite place. Just wear something casual,” he once again giggles.

I bid him goodbye after agreeing and end the call.

Usually my night before would consist of backstage romance and now… this. A date with a guy who giggles and asking me out to go to his favourite place which I have no idea of just to be pecked on the lips at the end of it. Don’t get me wrong, Ben is cute. Ben is nice. Ben is super respectful. God, he was even shaking at our first kiss which was on the second date. He was sweating on the first date just to ask me if we can hold hands together. I wonder what will happen on this third date tonight.

Maybe I’ll get laid. I sure God hope so. It’s been months… I badly need to get laid.

With Ben or with Alex?

Okay I need to get up and get moving before my mind wanders off on that memory in the past. I am touch starved. I am touch deprived. I don’t want to go there because I should be moving forward.

But God do I miss him. Especially at night.

I start to get ready and eat something light. I put on my black slip dress and some tights, just in case Ben’s favourite place is outside because it’s still cold. I pull off my old trusty cheetah print coat before slipping on some boots and flicking off the lights in my room.

The doorbell rings loudly and that’s my cue to go downstairs. I opened the front door and there he is.

“You look lovely,” Ben greets, kissing my cheeks in the process. He held a bouquet of flowers in front of him and I gratefully took it. They are pink roses.

Alex used to give me tulips. I love tulips. I hate roses.

Maybe I need to start liking roses now because I can’t keep throwing all the bouquet of roses Ben keeps giving me.

“Let me just put these roses on a flower vase before we head out.”

The journey to his favourite place started. It was silent inside the car, and I felt uneasy as it’s too quiet and decided to open the radio to fill the silence. The radio started to scan for available radio channel stations and I sighed in relief as one has been found.

“And that was Little Things by One Direction! Now let’s turn the mood up this evening as this next song is ‘R U Mine? By Arctic Monkeys!”

My blood freezes cold.

The opening lyrics fills the car and I hear Ben gasps out loud.

“Holy shit! I love this song!” He says while turning his head briefly to tell me directly. He starts to sing along to the lyrics and do some air drums while I am still frozen on my seat as I am reminded how Alex’s voice sounds like.

How much do you miss him?

“Don’t you like this song?” Ben genuinely asks in concern and I finally move to look at him. I gave him a fake smile and shake my head.

“No! I don’t even know who they are,” I laugh awkwardly.

“Oh that’s perfect! I love this band! They are called Arctic Monkeys! I thought you’d at least know their frontman, he’s quite hot on the ladies,” he jokes, nudging me briefly.

I grimace at his last sentence but covered it with a slight laugh.

“So, where are you taking me?” I change the subject.

“We’re near there!”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

If it’s even possible, my blood freezes colder as I look at the sight in front of me once we have stopped and Ben parked his car.

His favourite place? I have been here many times before.

It’s an Arctic Monkeys show.

I looked around to see if there’s a camera and this is all some elaborate prank the world has played on me.

“Where are we?” I whisper ask in denial.

“We are going to an Arctic Monkeys’ concert! It’s my favourite place in the world!” Ben giggles, even clapping as he beams at me with so much joy.

Oh, no.

We got out of the car and he takes my hand. I raise my eyebrows slightly at his courage and feel a strap being slid on my wrist. I look at the familiar “VIP” wristband. Not the usual wristband I had before as that was an all access one.

“VIP, huh?” I say in amusement.

“Nothing but the best! They are amazing!” Ben continues to praise the band.

Oh, Ben.

I’m well aware about how my outfit fits in on our whereabouts and I facepalmed myself mentally when I realise I have worn my trusty cheetah print coat. And a slip dress. And my alligator skin boots.

I smile at the sky and narrow my eyes knowingly at whoever deity is up there.

We got past security quickly and oh, the familiar faces of security here that I have to bow my head to not be recognised. Some fans are even looking at my direction and I hope and pray to God no one ever says a thing.

I just want to have a peaceful date with my new man and possibly to get laid… hopefully.

“Let’s try to get near the barricade!” My new man gushes beside me as he grabs my hand and weaves our way towards the front.

Oh, fuck.

We are two rows behind the barricade. Center. Dead middle. Right in front of where I know is Alex’s mic stand.

And then the lights went off.

The scream amplifies as spotlight suddenly hit the stage. One by one, the band members walk out while waving at the crowd. My heart is beating out loud and seems that it wants to get out of my chest and I instinctively wrap an arm on Ben’s bicep for stability. I spotted Nick getting closer at the left side of the stage and our eyes meet. His eyes widen as big as mine probably and soon his lips turn upward into a big smile, waving at me excitedly.

“For Alex?” Nick mouths at me before breaking his eye contact with me and noticing that I am with someone. His smile turns into a frown as he pointedly looks at me.

“He’s a fan,” I mouth back, hoping he can understand my response. Nick didn’t get to respond when the scream of the crowd amplifies and I know who just walked on stage.

There he is. Wearing a black shirt and a jean jacket, his gelled hair is now sporting the quiff. Handsome strong jawline, his cheeks sporting a natural blush, and his pink lips is holding a lit cigarette in captive. He adjusts his guitar strap on his shoulder as he scans the crowd, his red guitar resting on his abdomen. As if just like the old times, his eyes gravitated towards mine and for the first time in months and since that night that we broke up, our gaze connected.

Oh, Lord.

Those warm brown eyes that have light up my darkest days. The same eyes that have gazed longingly at me, that assured me that it will be alright as I go through my worst fears, that cried with me on a sappy movie, that held me captive as I moan his name like a prayer.

The eyes of the man who is my first love and whom I have shared most of my first with.

And like Nick, his eyes widen in shock subtly. Alex’s lips start to open but his stare went to the person beside me and his face forms into a scowl immediately. He took a long drag of his cigarette as he moves forward to his mic stand, now avoiding my gaze.

“Oh my God, I think Alex Turner just looked at me!”

I got brought back to my reality as Ben, who I am with now, says excitedly at my ear.

Oh, boy.

This will be a long night.

The show started. There is nothing much more where I could look at except at him. I have looked at the ceiling. At the security in front. At the heads in front of me as they bop along to the song. At Ben who is grinning like a Cheshire Cat unaware of the daggers the frontman is sending him. God, I’m not your strongest soldier. I could feel his gaze on me at every lyric he sings, and there are times I know he’s purposely accentuating some words which I know he wrote about me.

And now is the song I dread the most of the night.

“This song is about a girl called Arabella! She is right here in the crowd tonight.”

Oh, Alex.

Everyone person screaming and claiming that they are Arabella.

“You know, you kinda dress like Arabella!” Ben says in my ear, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me further on his side. I stumble and place a hand on his chest, my head turning at the front as it clashes with his shoulder, making me inadvertently look in front of me, which I have connected my stare with at my rockstar ex-boyfriend.

“Oh that boy’s a slag,” Alex scowls at me, singing a bit a part of one of his songs before he starts this one.

Alex never broke his stare at me as he sang the song word for word. Neither did I break our gaze as I can’t even dare to look away.

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

(That’s magic) in a cheetah print coat

(Just a slip) underneath it, I hope

(Askin' if) I can have one of those

(Organic) cigarettes that she smokes

(Wraps her lips) 'round a Mexican Coke

(Makes you wish) that you were the bottle

(Takes a sip) of your soul, and it sounds like

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

And that’s the end of the night.

I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that song was their closing one. Everybody in the arena clapped and cheered loudly as the show came to an end. The band gathers in the middle and took a bow, blowing kisses to the fans cheering them on. Whistles and screams echoed in the room, with some yells of “one more song”, as usual, filled the air.

“You think you can handle one more?”

Oh the way everyone’s voices multiplied and the crowd started to become alive again when the frontman walked back to his microphone stand. My eyes furrow together in confusion as he never does this before.

Alex’s eyes gazes into mine but now his lips are etched into a teasing smirk.

“What are you up to, Alexander,” I mouthed-whisper, narrowing my eyes at him.

But his smirk just widened and God damn, I know that look all too well.

He’s up to no good.

“Okay since you guys have been the best crowd so far on this tour, this one is a new song, unreleased yet. Made it the other day and finished it right now, ‘cause I just found the right inspiration,” Alex pointed at the crowd, specifically at me, and I choked on my own breath.

I really hope it’s not what I think it is, that this song would be about me.

My heart rapidly beats out of my chest and I feel like I’m going to throw up from being anxious. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. It’s just a new song, by my ex-boyfriend. Not all songs are about me.

He must really just be messing with me. This is just torture. He’s just playing a game. This is a classic Alex move.

The thoughts in my mind are racing a million miles per minute. I honestly am getting dizzy because I don’t even know what to think.

This is a mistake. Coming here. Maybe going out with Ben in the first place is a mistake because it’s clear I haven’t moved on from him because Alex has still had this great effect on me after all these months I have convinced myself that I have gotten over him.

I shake my head to try and clear my head and stop myself from spiralling down on dizziness.

“God, you’re so lucky! From all the Arctic Monkeys’ shows I’ve been to, this is the only time they are doing this!” The man beside me gushes, squeezing my shoulders in excitement.

I honestly could just cry now.

“Oh, Ben,” I say in return, biting my lip to contain myself from all these emotions I am having right now.

And the lights went dim once more.

A single spotlight is trained on the frontman of the band, with his cherry red electric guitar strapped on his shoulder. A joyful foreign melody starts to play, and maybe, maybe this will be a happy song.

Alex straightly looks at me, a serious expression now sporting on his handsome features.

I hope he plays us in the car

With your feet up on the dash, yeah

I'd like that, yeah

Oh, no…

“I hope he fucking breaks your heart… I’m just kidding,” he sings while he gives me an innocent puppy look but his mouth curved into a smirk.

“No I’m not,” he continues and shakes his head.

This damn bastard.

I'm over, "I wouldn't if I were yous

And are you sure 'bout the tunes?"

Ooh-ooh-ooh

"And you should get a real job

This is not gonna work out"

Oh my God.

Those were my words to him before… I feel like I just have been stabbed, the guilt flowing freely from the fresh open wounds that these words have created.

I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby

Something I can do to prove you wrong

Drive you crazy when it's sitting there at Number 1

You never cared for karma, now you understand (Understand)

I'm in your new boy's favourite band

Okay, now this song is about us.

I looked to my left and saw Ben swaying his head along to the music, completely unaware of the emotional turmoil brewing in my chest down to my stomach.

The guilt doubled. Ben does not deserve someone like me. He deserves a far better girl than me. Not this girl who’s still hung up on his ex, the ex who’s in Ben’s favourite band.

So, when you see me on TV

And he's singing all the words, oh

I hope it hurts, yeah

But, you won't say a singlе thing

'Cause he treats you likе dirt, that seems to work

Oh fuck off, Turner.

Would you curse my name?

Would you start a fight?

If my lyrics started playing in your bar tonight?

In the pouring rain, would you stand outside?

After closing time?

That bridge just hits too close too home. I freeze, standing and still locking eyes with Alex, the guilt sitting heavily on my stomach. It seems like I am not the only one who was affected after he sang those lines, even him, he was standing and not moving after saying those lyrics.

The cheers and screams of people sounds distant, seems not to reach my ears and not to register on my brain that I am in a room full of people, probably half who knew I had dated that man on stage. It seems like it was just me and Alex, standing in front of one another, completely lost for words.

He seems like he was snapped out from his train of thoughts as he clears his throat and starts to continue to sing, to finish his song.

I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby

Something I can do to prove you wrong

Drive you crazy when I'm sitting there at Number 1

You never cared for karma, now you understand (Understand)

I'm in your new boy's favourite band

I cannot hear this any further.

“I-I need to go, Ben,” I hurriedly stammer out to the man I came here with, not even bothering to wait for his reply before I push myself out of the crowd.

Hisses and complaints ensued and all I could do was to utter a quick apology as I made my way out. I see myself out of the arena, my legs moving automatically as it knows its way where to go. However, as I pushed the door that would lead me outside of the arena, I forgot it wasn’t like what it used to be where I will be met with privacy of the backstage, but instead I am met with fans who are waiting outside in front of the arena.

Multiple sets of eyes are trained on me and I suddenly felt the blush creeping up from my neck to settle its way on my cheeks as looks of familiarity start to blossom on their face to being fully aware of who I am.

“Oh my God, is she back with Alex Turner?”

I slammed the door shut and went back inside the arena. My heart starts to race and that creeping feeling of anxiety and self-doubt starts to cloud my heart and mind the way it used to before. It wasn’t as bad as it was before, as maybe I have loved myself more and learned more how to not care about the opinion of others, but the judging stares that I have seen just resurfaced some emotions I have suppressed from before.

I now try to make my way to the familiar direction backstage, a little bit shocked that security personnel were not stopping me despite not having an all access pass, but they just nod in my direction as they let me enter and make myself out of this arena using the other exit.

Finally I saw the exit and sighed a relief, pushing it and I am met with some water droplets from the sky. There are no fans in this exit, only some staff I recognized as they begin to pack up the venue. However, a familiar voice from a distance starts yelling my name, in full volume, making me stop in my tracks.

“For Christ sake, I know you like me chasing you, but peach, we are getting old, my knees hurt. Please stop!”

I whip my head to the direction of the voice and witness Alex in front of me, catching his breath as if he ran a marathon. Droplets of sweat falling from his forehead to his already sweaty clothes he wore on stage.

“What are you doing here,” I whisper in disbelief.

“This is me chasing you and hoping to start a fight and then we make up,” he says proudly, smiling cheekily as if we have not broken up months ago and this is our first ever interaction since that night.

Him acting nonchalantly ignites anger sleeping dormantly deep within my bones and I did not even realise my hands started to raise and hit him squarely on his chest, in which he did not even move the slightest.

Alex’s pink lips stays into an amused smile, watching me push him while sending daggers with my eyes.

“What the fuck is that song all about?!”

“I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, no?” He teases, infuriating me even more.

“My new boy’s favourite band? Really? And our conversation as your lyrics?! Are these all a joke to you!!” I yell loud enough to have my voice heard as the water droplets from the sky turn into thunderstorms.

Alex had enough and gently held my wrist firmly, stopping me from my weak attempts to push him or hit him on his chest. He brought one of my hands in front of his face, kissing the inside of my wrist tenderly, and I melted into his touch and action.

I forgot what I was even angry about.

“I mean you’re new boy looks nice, a bit boring, and I’m sure that’s not your type,” Alex starts the conversation once more and we are back to the infuriating feeling.

I pull away my hands from his touch and scowl at him. I turned my back on him and proceeded to go outside, the pouring rain instantly wetting my coat and my face. I start to walk and disregard Alex’s voice calling out my name.

“Oh come on, love, stop! You’ll get sick! Let’s go inside!” He catches me from behind, holding my arm and stopping me from walking away, but I just wriggle out from his hold and continue to walk forward, not even knowing where I was even going.

“He’s a nice man!” I say, finally stopping and facing him.

He raises his eyebrows at me and a look of ‘agree to disagree’ sports his face. “Yeah, sure. Is he good in bed too?”

I became silent at his question and I looked away from his gaze. My silence is a dead giveaway already.

“You two haven’t? Oh? Oh,” Alex smiles contently, nodding his head in satisfaction. His reaction just brewed annoyance inside of me.

“We are getting there! Getting to know each other. First part of the dating stage!”

“If it makes you feel better, I haven’t had any sex since we broke up too, peach. However, you’re getting to know him on my show? Your ex’s concert?” He smiles in a playful way.

God, he looks so damn beautiful right now, the rain hitting him, droplets of water falling in his face and landing on his cheeks, his hair getting messy and flopping on his forehead, but I wish I could wipe that smirk off his face.

“I didn’t know he’s a fan of yours!” I hissed in response.

From the distance, a figure starts to run forward, and the voice follows by calling out my name. Alex’s expression turned into a frown as he rolls his eyes at the person approaching behind him.

“Hey you okay? I’ve been looking for you everywhere and security actually led me here. Can’t believe I’m even allowed to be here! Feels like any moment I’ll run with any members of the band!” Ben jumps excitedly as soon as he reaches me, not even aware of the man scowling at him on his side.

“Ben, I—”

“Mate, sorry, but we’re having a conversation here.”

Ben’s head whipped as fast as it could be and I saw how his eyes widened, the colour on his face leaving him pale as a ghost and a gasp broke out from the back of his throat. Confusion starts to kick in, as he starts to look between me and Alex, back and forth, trying to connect the dots on why his date is together in the pouring rain with the band member of his favourite band.

As if the light bulb had turned on, his eyes widened in realisation.

“Oh! So the douchebag ex is him,” Ben says, whispering the last word as if not wanting to let the person know we are talking about him.

The him crosses his arm in his chest, glaring at me with amusement painted as his expression, and leaning on one foot making his hip pop towards me in a sassy way.

“A douchebag huh?” Alex continues, still amused.

“Oh oh her words man! I mean, well, I know you’re not a douchebag, you’re a cool one! I’m a big fan of yours!” Ben stutters out, explaning himself that I mentally facepalmed myself.

Can somebody please get me out of here?

“Ben, I’m sorry, but can we talk later?” I say in resignation, just wanting for him to leave so me and Al’s conversation can be done.

Like a good puppy, he nods enthusiastically and without a word, run off from where he came from.

“Oh, he’s boring nice,” the man in front of me comments as soon as the other person was not within our earshot.

“Alex, honestly, I don’t even know what we’re talking about here.”

”I’m sorry.”

He takes one step forward, effectively closing our distance. I look up to see his face, inches away from mine, seriousness taking over his features. The rain has only intensified, instead of chilling and freezing me to the bones, all I could feel is Alex’s warm spurts of breathe fanning my face, and his touch on my arms shooting up electricity on my whole body and jumpstarting my heart to race rapidly.

I missed this. I missed him. I missed us.

“What are you even sorry about?”

“Everything. Just come back to me, please. Come back to me, baby, I know we both know we truly belong to one another. It’s us and it will always be us. Please, tell me you don’t love me anymore as much as I am hopelessly and deeply in love with you, and don’t lie to yourself,” He says lowly, yet I heard all the words clearly despite the thunderstorms breaking in the sky. He held me tightly, his arms snaking on my waist to pull me on his chest, his body warmth negating the cold water pouring from the sky, as we cheesily do this conversation as if we are in some romcom, that all will be well after this.

But this is real life, and life is not a romcom movie.

“Alex, we’re never gonna work out. This is never gonna work out,” I start to insist he starts to open his mouth to rebut, but I continue to speak to shush him.

“It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve someone better, who could better support you, and all I have done the past months before we broke up is make you feel like shit, and that’s not what a partner should be. I should be the one apologising because all I ever wanna say is how proud I am of you and all the success you’re getting, but I’m scared I can’t live up to it, to what you need and what you like, because you’re all this and you could have any person in the world, and—”

“God, just MARRY ME!”

That effectively silenced me, if that’s what Alex is going for.

My mouth hung open as I look up at him, blinking as if that would have it rewind what he just said seconds ago. I didn’t say anything and waited for him to either repeat what Al just said or to retract it.

Alex just scans my face for any indication about my expression to his question. His hands went upwards and now hold my cheeks, his thumbs caressing the apples of my cheeks as he holds my face so I will not be able to look away and focus on him only.

“Just please, marry me. Fuck this, I’ll leave everything just say yes,” Alex once again asks, in all seriousness.

“But Al, I—”

“Do you love me?” He cuts me off.

“Al you know—”

“Just yes or no, baby.”

“Yes, I love you,” I say in all honesty and sincerity. That made Alex’s brown eyes soften, his hold on my face tightening securely.

“I love you too, peach. It has always been you. Okay now, have you ever considered marrying me. Do you want to marry me?” He says softly, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on my forehead.

I swallow my anxiety and the creeping negative thoughts and just went to the flow of my feelings for this man. “I do, but—”

I was silenced once more when Alex shuts me from starting to ramble by pulling me in for a kiss. My lip moves automatically with him, his familiar taste suddenly invading my senses, warmth surging within me. A quiet gasp broke from my lips as he bites my lower lip lightly, his tongue making its way to mine, just like the old times. My body molds with him, our shared breaths syncing, and all of this while we are being continuously drenched by the rain.

“No, ‘buts’, peach. Just you and me. Don’t think about the others nor anything else, ‘cause they don’t matter, yeah? Just you and me,” he says reassuringly as he pulls away slightly to catch our breaths, standing firmly in front of me.

“Just you and me,” I repeat, nodding along with him, and not even knowing what he is saying as I was completely wiped off from a single kiss.

“That is settled. We’re getting married,” Alex says, nodding more, a beautiful smile blossoming on his pink lips as he realised the effect he has on me by that just one kiss.

“We are getting married,” I repeated to him once more.

“Oh fuck, you’re going to be my wife,” Alex says in realisation, both of us calming down and finally realising what just transpired.

“I’m your wife?” I say confusedly, a little bit dizzy of how our conversation went from arguing to this.

“Technically what people will say is you are my Fiancée, but I don't care, you’re my wife. My love. My soulmate,” he says cheekily, wrapping an arm on my shoulder by now.

“Oh please, so cheesy, Alexander,” I playfully roll my eyes as he leads us back to the arena.

“I’m your cheesy husband then,” he counters, squeezing my shoulders.

A comfortable silence settled between us as all that could be heard is our rapid heart beats and the soft pitter patter of the rain on the ground. I lay my head on Alex’s shoulder, looked up at the sky, and smiled at whoever deity is up there for finally answering my prayer.

Finally, at home at last.

─────────────────────────

This is honestly not one of my best works (apologies), as this was really rushed. No concrete solid plot as well. I wrote this for shits and giggles, because I can’t stop listening to this song and when I listen to a song, my mind just creates these scenarios and I just need this scene to get out of my head.

And Happy Pride to everyone! Love always wins 🌈.

Here is the song at bar:

[wolviesdoll]

jason todd hcs & thoughts ... 𝜗𝜚

⤷ craves intimacy in the gentlest way possible. lingering touches and soft fingers running through his hair, innocent kisses peppering his face and the scars that littered his skin. he's so used to the harsh ruthlessness of his life, all he needs is a warm pair of open arms to collapse into at the end of the day. all he needs is what he's never had.

⤷ loves romance/romcoms. a feeling of longing sits heavy on his chest the entirety of the film, but it's a reminder that he's capable of feeling more than than the unexplainable anger running through his veins. watching romantic movies lets his mind escape temporarily.

⤷ yearns to be loved so wholeheartedly. despite all the bad, all the rough and difficult parts of himself, all the blood he's spilled that just won't wash off his hands, he wants someone who loves him regardless.

⤷ at the same time, he believes he's hard to love. how could anyone love all of him? he can be brash and hard to deal with, he's quiet and has a bad habit of pulling away. he's afraid to get attached and crack his ribs open to reveal his heart to anyone, but deep down he wants that one person who can reduce him to such a lovestruck fool.

⤷ once he's found someone, he gets clingy. it's a difficult balance to maintain; fighting his instinct to be unreasonably needy while making sure his partner didn't feel suffocated by his affection. he finds a way, though. he's clingy in the way he's always on the cusp of begging for cuddles and kisses. he never will, not obviously, but it's clear he's thinking about giving up his pride when his green eyes shine with a quiet plea and his plush lips pull into the subtlest of frowns. he's clingy because he's afraid to lose the one person who sees all of him and loves it all.

⤷ maybe a consequence of his fear of abandonment, he is also fiercely protective. never in the controlling sense. he'll never tell his partner what to wear or when they can or can't go out — he trusts them. but he will he by their side the entire time, like a mean guard dog that growls at possible danger. except in this case, jason uses his strong, tall and imposing figure to scare off any poor souls who think they could approach his partner. they're his just as much as he's hopelessly theirs.

quick hcs :

྾ creates playlists for his partner and listens to it whenever he's away and misses them.

྾ really playful. the type to be left on delivered for a second and respond with "so you hate me". he's playfully dramatic and teasing, there's never a dull moment with him.

྾ has a polaroid picture of his partner in his wallet. if he loses his wallet the first thing he worries about is that picture. not his id or credit cards, no, the picture. speaking of pictures, his camera roll is full of his partner. most are candid pictures/videos he took sneakily when he was just enamored by their appearance. others were a little sillier, "unflattering" as his partner says, but he vehemently disagrees. some are a little filthy, but he keeps those hidden.

྾ switches shoes if his partner's feet hurt after wearing heels for a night out. no complaint from him except a smug "i told you so" when he warned them prior to leaving home. he'd walk around in just his socks before his partner took another step in their painful heels.

྾ carved his partner's initial on the barrel of one of his guns. his good luck charm.

[fromdove]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⁞ 𝓓ICK 𝓖RAYSON ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝓦HEN 𝓗E'S 𝓘N 𝓛OVE 𝓗EADCANONS !

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ୨୧

— dick grayson when he's in love hcs ᵎᵎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

— dick grayson x fem!reader ᵎᵎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

— count how many times I said "like"..... ⊹ ࣪ ˖

© fromdove— All rights reserved. Reposting, translation, or modification of these works is strictly prohibited, regardless of whether credit is given.

∿　 　 . `💭` ㆍ

⤷ he teases you a lot. like. annoying. if you mispronounce a word one (1) time you will never hear the end of it. he’ll bring it up three weeks later like “remember when you said ‘sherbert’ instead of ‘sherbet’ lol dumbass” and you’re like i know where you sleep

⤷ he likes watching you do mundane things. like tying your shoes. or flipping pages. or brushing your teeth. “you always do that little pause before you spit. it’s cute.” <- what are you even supposed to do with that.

⤷ will Not. let you walk on the curb side of the street. ever. like you’ll try and he’ll do that quiet sidestep-switch like no. no. i’m the buffer between you and the world. get behind me baby i’m trained in 47 types of combat

⤷ you sneeze once. ONCE. uno. one. 1 !!!! time. and suddenly he’s Googling “early signs of pneumonia” and wrapping you in three blankets like you’re in an igloo.

⤷ he’s not subtle. not even a little. he’s grinning all the time. like you’re his little secret. except you’re not. because everyone knows. because he talks about you constantly and doesn’t realise it. like someone asks “what do you think of this sandwich place?” and he’s like “oh my partner hates pickles” and you’re like. ok???? who asked???????

⤷ texts like. really badly. "on my way" / "u good?" / "?" / “home safe?” / “did you eat?” / “also here’s a stray cat i found near the precinct it made me think of you bc it was mean but cute”. no punctuation. and then sends you a 3-paragraph message about a book from the 70s that reminded him of you.

⤷ one time you got a papercut and he ACTUALLY KISSED YOUR FINGER. like what is this. a 2003 romcom. who does that. you let him anyway.

⤷ dates are like. chaotic. they range. they VARY. he’ll plan them so carefully and then forget the address. it goes from him taking you rooftop dancing at 2am (he knows the security guard don’t ask). to the fanciest more expensive restaurants. or sometimes its the most random places...like why are we eating cold dumplings on a fire escape at midnight. why am i in your lap. why is this perfect. why r u dancing on the rooftop. pls. i just wanted to eat. it could also be you two literally brushing teeth side by side in pajamas while he talks about some city ordinance that made him mad.

⤷ also he’s like. a hand holder. all the time. especially in crowds. “just so i don’t lose you” ok liar you just like touching me.

⤷ he’s sooooooooooo good with kids it’s disgusting. like you’ll be walking past a playground and suddenly he’s in a full game of tag with a bunch of eight-year-olds like??? ok??? and you’re sitting there like is this what being in love feels like???????? have my babies then??????????

⤷ he gets nervous when you meet bruce. he acts like he doesn’t care but he’s standing straighter. fixing your collar. whispering “you got this”. like. dude. broski. seems like you need that advice a little more than me..

⤷ he brings you little things all the time. dumb things. a keychain. a sticker. he's gotten u a mug that says “i like my boyfriends like i like my coffee: hot and ready to fight crime”. he's like "that describes me perfectly babe!" ok..... just say ur inlove w/urself..

⤷ he loves when you wear his shirts. he pretends to be chill but he deflates when he sees it. “is that mine?” yes dick. it says “haley’s circus” on it. and it smells like crime fighting and your conditioner now. congrats. he’s 70% more handsy. 30% more cuddly. 100% ferocious internally. his caveman brain is like “MINE.”

⤷ he has like. six nicknames for you. three of them are variations of “birdie” and one of them is “hey trouble” and he says it with that little lopsided grin and you melt and throw a pillow at him and he catches it with one hand

⤷ he’s like. stupidly in love. and he’ll kiss your hand when he’s driving. and you’re like. eyes on the road. and he’s like. “i have great reflexes” and you’re like. great. that’s not the point.

⤷ he talks in his sleep. sometimes it’s mission stuff. sometimes it’s your name. once he said “alfred please no more soup” and you almost peed yourself laughing. he was so embarrassed. you bring it up constantly.

⤷ when he’s gone for patrol or a mission longer than expected he always texts. even if it’s just “still alive. miss u. criminals suck.”

⤷ he’s not flashy. but he’s intense. he listens. remembers everything. “didn’t you say you liked this song in april?” yes he has a playlist. yes it’s called “her smile > gotham skyline”

⤷ he acts like you’re a little miracle. like he can’t believe you’re real. he’ll just stare at you sometimes and blink slow like a cat and say “i love you” like it’s a confession every time.

⤷ he’ll tease you but only about dumb things. like how you sometimes stutter when you ramble or how you always leave the cap off the toothpaste. and then he’ll fix it. quietly. every time.

⤷ when he introduces you to his friends. he’s like. so soft. “this is my person. be nice. or i’ll beat you up. lovingly.”

⤷ you catch him looking at you all dreamy sometimes and he just goes “what?” and shrugs and kisses your forehead like it’s no big deal that he’s in constant awe of you

⤷ he’s in love like it’s easy. like it’s gravity. like he’s spent his whole life falling and you’re the first place that ever felt like landing.

⤷ you ask him to hang out and he’s like yeah yeah ofc and then five minutes later you’re on his bike and he's like “is gotham cold or am i crazy” and you're just clinging to him like a lil barnacle while the skyline blurs. he's only thinking about how soft your hands are on his stomach

⤷ he sends you memes. like. actually. they’re dumb. sometimes Nightwing fan edits. he pretends he doesn’t know you know. “someone sent me this” like ok babe sure. "someone" aka your own saved folder. keep lying

⤷ in love dick is like. chaotic neutral trying to be lawful good. he’ll pick you up from school or work and you’re like “you didn’t have to” and he goes “i know” but he’s there every time

⤷ he does this thing where he’ll lean on the counter while you talk. like hand-under-chin. dumb lil smile. he’s not even listening fully sometimes. he’s just watching you like you’re a painting in a gallery he’s been to before but still finds new details in. annoying. beautiful. criminal

⤷ if you’re sleeping over he’s sleeping on the edge of the bed because he moves like a windmill and he’s afraid he’ll knock you out mid-dream. but by morning you’re tangled. always. no exceptions

⤷ ok so. gifts. random. weird. he once gave you a grappling hook keychain and was so smug about it. “just in case you need a quick escape.” sir. from where. my bedroom??

⤷ he talks about you to everyone. not in a gross bragging way. in a like. “yeah (y/n) helped me pick this” or “(y/n) said i’d like this song” or “you’d like them. they’re really funny. and smart. and good. and like. they’re just. yeah.” and then changes the subject aggressively

⤷ he will NEVER say no to you playing with his hair. he’ll act like it’s not a big deal but if you stop he’ll be like “wait. you were doing the— you were playing with my hair—”

⤷ he's the type to check the exits wherever you go but also brings you gum and hand sanitizer like the world's most traumatised dad

⤷ sometimes he zones out while you're talking and you're like hello?? and he's just like “you looked really happy. i wanted to remember it.” AND THEN HE HAS THE NERVE TO SHRUG. ok poetic boy

⤷ he gets weirdly possessive but like. silently. if someone flirts with you at a party he’ll just kind of materialise next to you like “hey babe” and put his arm around you like hello yes i am six feet of jealousy wrapped in kevlar

⤷ he will not admit he cried over you once (more than once, lets be real). even though it’s obvious. even though jason literally heard him sniffling in the batcave. it’s fine. let him pretend

⤷ when you’re upset he gets quiet. not cold. just. steady. he listens. he doesn’t try to fix it unless you ask. he sits next to you and holds your hand and says “i’m here.” and he is. fully. always.

⤷ he’s got scars on scars but he lets you trace them. tells you the stories if you want. lies about the ones he’s not ready to talk about. it’s ok. you know. you wait

⤷ love makes him dumb. he does pushups with you sitting on his back. buys your favorite snacks in bulk. lets you paint his nails and then goes on patrol with them like it’s normal (it is)

⤷ he teaches you how to do flips. or tries. and then laughs when you fall. but then also kisses your scraped elbow like “my bad babe” with zero actual remorse. “you’ll get it next time” he says while still laughing. he’s sososososo annoying. you love him.

⤷ wears your hair tie on his wrist like it’s part of his uniform. you say nothing. he says nothing. but it’s always there.

⤷ teaches you escrima if you ask. but only if you promise not to make fun of the sticks. you make fun of the sticks anyway. he fake pouts. you kiss him mid-fight. he drops one stick. it’s fine.

⤷ carries a picture of you in his wallet and pretends he doesn’t. you find it once and he tries to act like it’s no big deal. “whatever. you look cute. move on.”

⤷ he thinks he's subtle. he's not. the whole batfamily knows. jason makes fun of him. damian gags. tim just leaves the room. bruce is like “don’t get distracted” and dick is like “yes sir 🫡” while actively distracted.

⤷ picks at your food. then acts shocked when you do the same. “you said you weren’t hungry??” yeah ok YOU said you weren’t emotionally available dick now look at us. hypocrites in love.

⤷ gives you nicknames like “hotshot” or “trouble” and then blushes when you call him anything. “dork” makes him literally malfunction. he pretends to be offended but smiles when you’re not looking.

⤷ gets quiet when you’re sad. like real quiet. sits next to you and just waits. doesn’t force you to talk. but if you do talk—he listens. like really listens. remembers every word. brings it up months later. “you said this place makes you feel calm” oh so you remember that ok

⤷ he’s so annoying. in the best way. like. the type of annoying that makes you blush and kick your feet and want to punch a wall. his wall specifically.

⤷ he’s all casual flirty with everyone right?? but when he’s in love with you??? he turns tender. like terrifyingly tender. it’s like he’s trying not to break you by looking too hard. like eye contact might detonate you. but i mean. either way. he still stares at you hard. even when trying not to.

⤷ he does the “can you sit with me while i do paperwork” thing. like you’re a cat. like he just wants you in proximity while he suffers.

⤷ he picks up food for you without asking. every time. "thought you might be hungry." no baby you knew. we have a soul connection. you felt my hunger. don’t play with me

⤷ he touches your back when you cross streets. lets you walk on the inside of the sidewalk. opens the door even when you argue. says "just let me take care of you a little." & now you’re sobbing in the CVS skincare aisle. congrats.

⤷ he lets you braid his hair when it gets too long. he pretends to hate it. you both know he’s lying.

⤷ if you're tired? he's pulling you into his lap before you can blink. he’s like “you rest. i got it.” you don’t even know what “it” is. but he’s got it. apparently.

⤷ "you don't have to do everything alone anymore." <- said in a whisper. at 1:47am. when you tried to sneak out so he wouldn't see you cry. yeah. he saw. and now you're in his arms and he's not letting go until morning.

⤷ when he's in love he’s... warm. like that kind of warm that feels like sunshine on a cold day. or like a bath that runs the perfect temperature.

⤷ he remembers everything. like that one time you said you liked strawberry twizzlers?? there's a pack in your glovebox now. he swears he didn’t put it there. liar.

⤷ you call him in the middle of the night because you had a bad dream and he’s like “i’m coming over” and then he’s actually there. barefoot. in sweatpants. holding two mugs and looking worried

⤷ he loves all of you. not just the good stuff. he loves the mess. the overthinking. the crying. the way you squeak when you laugh. he calls it “his favorite sound.”

⤷ every time you fight. he comes back. every time. he won’t let you sleep mad. he’ll wait on your fire escape all night if he has to. says “i’m not leaving until we’re okay. even if you throw something at me.”

⤷ once tried to not fall in love with you. failed.

[kxsagi]

hihi how r uuu, uhm i’d like to request aaaaaa like idk a series of odd compliements reader gives the bllk boys they didn’t know they needed like uhm idk “I love the way you floss” or smth like that. i’d also really like nesssss. Please and thank you

“𝐮𝐦… 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?”

a/n: could not think of a better title idea HELP

ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, bachira meguru, kaiser michael, shidou ryusei, and karasu tabito

isagi yoichi

you: “you look like the type of guy who separates his m&ms by color and then eats the most powerful-looking ones last.” 

isagi: “... thank you?” 

this man does not know what to do with that information. he’s touched?? confused??? you once told him, “your jawline is the only line i trust.” and he almost cried. 

he gets so flustered and honored every time. he literally started journaling them. 

one day you told him, “you look like if a golden retriever was in a tax evasion scandal.” 

and he was like, “... wait what?” 

itoshi rin

you: “you give off the energy of someone who’d survive a horror movie just by being too emotionally unavailable to die.” 

rin: “what the hell is wrong with you.” 

but deep down, this man thrives off your madness. he will sit in silence for 10 minutes and then mumble: “i would survive a horror movie though.” 

you once told him, “you remind me of the moon. distant, cold, and capable of controlling tides and my mood swings.” 

he was silently smiling for the rest of the day. never admitted it. 

itoshi sae

you: “you look like you’d ghost me for 3 days then show up with a smoothie like nothing happened.” 

sae: “i’ve literally done that before.” 

you: “yeah i know. that’s why it’s a compliment.” 

he thinks you’re deranged. but he also thinks you’re funny. 

you told him he looks like a sexy ikea instruction manual and he actually laughed. 

but then you said he gives off “divorced stepdad with a dark past” energy and he was like “okay that’s enough.” 

nagi seishiro

you: “you remind me of a cat that accidentally became god.” 

nagi: “mm. sounds troublesome.” 

he doesn’t care what you say as long as you’re saying it to him while he’s lying on your lap. 

you called him “a walking paradox of soft boy and threat to societal productivity,” and he sleepily went, “cool.” 

he repeats your compliments to himself when he’s bored. 

“cat god… huh.” 

mikage reo

you: “you have ‘sugar daddy but emotionally available’ energy.” 

reo: “well damn. i– thank you?” 

you’re feeding this man’s ego like it’s on life support. 

he literally changed his phone bio to “emotionally available sugar daddy.” 

you called him “the human version of a platinum credit card with a conscience.” 

he was ready to marry you on the spot. 

bachira meguru

you: “you give off ‘feral art student who eats glitter’ energy.” 

bachira: “omg you get me.” 

he ADORES your compliments. the weirder the better. 

you once told him, “you’re like if van gogh and a raccoon made a baby.” 

he deadass teared up. 

he started complimenting you back in the same fashion. 

“you look like the reincarnation of a chaotic rainbow.” 

you two are an unstoppable force of bizarre love languages. 

kaiser michael

you: “you look like a man who knows he’s the villain but would still win in a romcom.” 

kaiser: “i am the romcom.” 

he is EATING your compliments up. 

you once told him, “you have the aura of someone who would sue god for character defamation.” 

he printed that. framed it. 

you told him, “you give main character energy, but like, the delusional kind.” 

he paused. “wait… what do you mean by delusional?” 

shidou ryusei

you: “you look like you’d propose during a bar fight with blood on your face.” 

shidou: “i totally would actually. baby you get me so well.” 

he’s OBSESSED with your compliments. 

he once made you sit down and repeat the one where you said he “radiates sexy chainsaw energy.” 

he made it his discord status. 

you told him he gives off “if chaos was hot” energy. 

he licked your cheek. you regret everything. 

karasu tabito

you: “you look like a guy who uses sarcasm to hide how much he actually cares. like if a middle finger could love.” 

karasu: “... shut up.” (translation: i’m blushing.) 

you once told him, “you have rizz that’s so potent it’s FDA regulated.” 

he snorted so hard he actually dropped his phone. 

you called him “the reason sarcasm was invented,” and he leaned in like: “say that again, but slower.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[mingtinys]

what dating seventeen feels like

pairing : seventeen x gn!reader

headcanons , fluff , misc

warnings : none

word count : 1.1 k

requested ? no

a/n: just a small collection of the things i love in life that i associate with seventeen

choi seungcheol

falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed. chocolate-covered strawberries. the kind of love found in romcoms. expensive dinner dates and champagne.

cologne that lingers on your clothes and bed sheets. tight, bone-crushing, hugs. his hand almost always under the hem of your shirt, skin to skin (it grounds him). him letting you win when you play wrestle. cute aggression victim.

having a rock to hold on to amidst a raging current.

yoon jeonghan

diving under a crashing wave to find calm, gentle, water. rollercoasters with big drops. feathers. lavender fields. leaving the theater and realizing night has fallen.

always saying the same thing at the same time (it scares seokmin). naps on the couch. sending each other pictures of weird-looking animals with the caption "you" or "us." partners in crime. braiding his hair.

having not only a boyfriend but a best friend in jeonghan.

joshua hong

warm blankets, fresh from the dryer. pancakes and orange juice in the morning. raw honey. the scent of freshly baked bread. scented candles and wax melts.

lives up to the gentleman title. opens doors, bides by the sidewalk rule, lends you his jacket, etc. acts! of! service!! fighting over who pays the bill (he's actually ambushed your waiter to pay before you can even see the check). domestic, mundane, slice-of-life type of love.

a honeymoon phase that never ends.

wen junhui

walking down empty streets without a care in the world. morning cartoons. clingy cats. ice cream for dinner. frozen pizza with red wine. airport liminal space hours.

taking pictures of sunsets to send to each other. doodling on his hand. staying up until 3am accidentally. back hugs galore. resting his chin atop your head. him getting as close as possible when showing him something on your phone (i'm talking cheek smooshed up against yours). sleepy jun asking for kisses every morning.

living life in the moment because you know the future can wait for you two.

kwon soonyoung

energetic snow days. sledding, snowball fights, building snowmen. energy drinks and all-nighters. watermelon sugar. summer bonfires. the ambiance of muffled music through club bathrooms.

zoo dates. always wins you the biggest prizes at carnivals. his favorite place to nap is your lap. sweaty post-dance practice hugs. he gets pouty if you start a tv show without him. baking brownies at 3am. talks about you non-stop to anyone who will (or won't) listen.

excitement that isn't momentary or overwhelming. excitement that makes life meaningful.

jeon wonwoo

tulips blooming in the spring. waxing gibbous moons. amethyst. resting after a long, busy day. the scent of old, yellowed books. rhythmic clicking of a keyboard. warm, smooth, riverbank stones.

re-adjusting his glasses for him after every kiss. let's you design his character's outfits in video games. tells you about the book he's reading like it's gossip. he's always taking candid photos of you. quiet mornings. elderly couples who see you two are reminded of how they fell in love.

defining love not by how much it's said, but by how it's felt.

lee jihoon

thunderstorms that lull you to sleep. shiny, red guitars coming to life with smooth melodies. the crackle of a fire. rosemary. empty highways at night. lightning that strikes twice.

morning coffee dates at home. napping on his studio sofa while he works. quality! time! absolutely spoils you every chance he gets. pretends to act all cool when you catch him staring. writing songs for you. his hand routinely finds your knee when he's anxious. he prefers intimate and private acts of affection to the alternative.

cherishing all the little things that make your relationship important.

lee seokmin

wishing on dandelions. blue skies. morning dew on grass. golden hour. that burning sensation you get in your lungs when laughing too hard. iced lattes.

always asking permission to kiss you. so, so attentive. falling asleep on facetime. pillow forts. lots, and lots, and lots of nose kisses. him never wanting to leave you in the morning. "five more minutes" type of guy. his favorite feeling in the world is making you laugh.

finally knowing what it means to love someone so much you'd give the world for them.

kim mingyu

sleeping by a window with the sun warming your skin. hearing your favorite song on the radio. silky white sheets. first date jitters. first love. receiving a bouquet of roses.

admires you so, so, much. talks about you 24/7, much to his members' annoyance. (jk, they love you, they just like to tease him about it). literally a sponge the way he starts picking up your habits and slang. he's physically incapable of rejecting your puppy-dog eyes. likes to lay sprawled out on top of you. he'll often seek you out if he needs a little extra support.

the feeling that comes with knowing you've found "the one."

xu minghao

the autumn leaves changing. winter constellations. a solar eclipse. the quiet of a house before everyone wakes. those cozy granny-square blankets. white wine. laughing at scary movies.

wine and painting nights. him always making two cups of tea. art museum dates. swaying together to music in the kitchen. him secretly being a sucker for your doting. has your mannerisms memorized and prides himself on it. somehow always knows what to say when you're feeling down.

growing, learning, and experiencing life alongside each other.

boo seungkwan

warm, summer air. mystery flavored lollipops that somehow taste like every flavor all at once. rosy red cheeks.

teasing each other and inside jokes. nicknames like loser, stupid-head, idiot etc. (affectionate). hours long gossip sessions. kisses that taste of coffee and tangerine chapstick. stars in his eyes whenever you're doing literally anything. having his undivided attention.

resident happy pill and mood-maker seungkwan knowing he can let his mask fall around you without judgement.

hansol vernon chwe

watching city lights blur past in the passenger seat of a car at night. cereal at 1am. falling asleep while watching tv. poorly handmade, yet meaningful gifts. assorted candies. buying road trip snacks.

communicating with a single look. ice cream dates in the middle of winter. speaking purely in movie and tiktok references. late-night conversations that take a weird turn. (you've once debated if aliens would like pineapple on pizza). pretending not to notice how shy he gets when initiating physical affection.

loving the strange, bad, and hidden parts of each other as much as the good.

lee chan

the comforting buzz and motion of a subway at night. toothy smiles. watching reruns of your favorite childhood show. surprise parties. the first snow of the new year. concert lights.

driving at 2am, singing at the top of your lungs. random dance parties in the living room. getting noise complaints and giggling about it. pillow fights and board games, competitive, yet both trying to let the other win cause it'll make them happy. asking him to open jars. him getting exceptionally giddy to open said jars. (you're completely capable, but know he likes to feel needed).

making each other's inner child feel safe.

[gay-dorito-dust]

hey author! how do you think the batboys would act if they had a best friends to lovers kinda of thing going on? like reader is their bro, their other half and then out of nowhere the batboys are like omg i love my best friend <3

Dick often made jokes in the past that it was only time before you two become the plot of a really bad romcom, two friends who pretty much did everything together, it was almost as if fate itself was trying to tell you something. A cliche friends to lovers trope just waiting to happen.

Now he couldn’t help but recognise the irony now as he holds his head in his hands, curse him and his loud fucking mouth for it always found its way to bite him in the ass sooner or later.

Dick didn’t mind falling in love, but to fall in love with your best friend after teasing about it happening for such a long time felt like karma for his teasing behaviour. He’s stuck trying to think of anything that didn’t remind him of you but unfortunately for Dick everything reminded him of you no matter where he looked, even his apartment was covered in things that you’ve left behind with no intention of taking back.

This has proven to be the perfect example of how much you’ve been overtaking his mind, slowly but surely before becoming all he could think of in his waking hours and his sleeping hours. It was driving him mad with how obvious his feelings must’ve been to the people closest to him.

You were all he knew in these moments and he was forced to be remained of his ever growing emotions with how he always seemed to be touching you in any capacity he could, his arm was often thrown over your shoulders in public or he’s holding you from behind as you stayed over at his place. He thrived off of your warmth and presence that it made going home to his place even more dull without you by his side to parent Hayley together, you’d make a great dog parent for all he was aware.

The signs were there and Dick was made to realise that he was the one who had fallen first out of the two of you, even though he wished it was you, and now all he could think was how he’d much rather have you live with him since you loved to leave your stuff at his place for convenience when you did spend the night. Hell you even cuddled together like a couple with you burying your head under his chin while he caged you against his chest with his arms as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

Dick knew he’d have to make a move sooner or later before someone else swoops you up right in front of him.

Damian was having his own integral crisis once he realised that he wasn’t in fact ill and was infect feeling romantic feelings towards you.

He’s against it and heavily so that he would find himself putting distance between the two of you because of it as it wasn’t something he was ready to face.

It’s very much an ‘oh shit, oh god why?!’ Type of reaction and suddenly his walls are back up. Damian knows how dangerous it would be if you were either him, as if being friends with him already didn’t put a target on your back. Not only that but he was secretly scared of what these emotions could spell out for his future.

Would he be distracted in patrols and missions to come because his mind was fixated on you and your wellbeing?

Would he become sloppy in his fighting or would he become even more ruthless at the idea of something terrible happening to you under his watch?

Damian didn’t know and he wasn’t one to ask for help either so he would often retreat to his room and put his head in his hands and sigh. Emotions were more trouble than what they were worth and it often caused him frequent headaches in the process. Damian didn’t know what to do and so he could only hope that if he spend less time with you then the feelings would go away.

However owever this plan ultimately backfires on him as he finds himself missing your presence more then he’d ever admit at gunpoint, he’d even find himself drawing you how he saw you and he’s back to holding his head in his hands and groaning at how much of a bother these emotions were going to be.

He loves you but wasn’t willing to risk your safety by taking your friendship to the next level, but even if he ever did he’ll most likely have to teach you basic hand to hand combat to satiate his concern while he’s away from you. But until then he’d rather let the emotions die in his chest, no matter how much they burn him from the inside for he’s dealt with worse.

Jason would come to this realisation that he was in love with you when he found himself becoming more protective over you than normal. And I mean more than normal.

He’d be on patrol and the first person he looks out for is you, especially if your on an late shift at work, as he doesn’t trust Gotham in the slightest at night for that was when the city was at its upmost worst. He’s watching over you like a guardian angel, a rather violent guardian angel but only towards those who deserve such lethal and or permanent punishment from his gun.

He wants you to be safe on your journey home that sometimes after beating up some goons, he’s walking you home as red hood for extra protection before bidding you a goodnight. He doesn’t care how often he has to do it because he’ll gladly walk you home no matter what, your safety was Jason’s top priority and he knew he’d hate himself more then he already did should anything happen to you when he wasn’t nearby.

He knew he had fallen for you when he became softer and more affectionate towards you, whether that be holding you by the waist as he moved to grab a cup in the morning, kissing your temple as good morning greeting, holding your hand when he feels the need to distract himself by fiddling and intertwining your fingers together.

He even remember falling more for you when you reciprocated the touches with some of your own that lead to him falling into your arms, finding his much needed solace there as he realises just how much he wanted this to be a reality you both share together, a reality where you’d lie in bed tougher and wake the other up with kisses and sweet whispers of love and adoration you had for one another.

His apartment that felt cold and dead was more alight and filled with life when you came in through the door, decorating it with trinkets and other gifts that you bestowed upon him, but what made his apparent more alive and warm to Jason and that was you with your presence and Jason didn’t know how he’d manage to live his entire life without you being his rock and his reason for everything.

So needless to say that Jason felt as though that if he’d loose you he would be a man without a cause, a man without an anchor who could aways bring him back form the brink, he knew damn well that how he treated himself now would be nothing in comparison to how he would treat himself if you left his life.

Jason needed you like he needed air to breathe, how he was going to confess he wasn’t certain but he had a thing or two in mind.

[starsinthesky5]

need a blurb of songbirds bestie and joe fighting for her attention/love

a/n: we’ll dive deeper into her and her best friends dynamic in the fics! but here’s a little blurb

───────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────

“so, who loves you more?” her best friend asked dramatically, flopping across her lap on the couch like she was auditioning for a romcom. “me, who’s known you since you wore butterfly clips and sang britney spears at recess? or your quarterback over there who thinks a grand romantic gesture is letting you pick the movie and the snacks?”.

“hey,” joe called from the kitchen, scoffing as he opened the fridge. “i made her that confectioner's popcorn from disney last week. from scratch,”.

“you mean, you hit the button on the air popper and threw some m&m’s in?” her bestie fired back with a grin.

joe sauntered over, two waters in hand—one of which he passed to her with a low, “hydration, baby,” and a smirk that made her stomach flip. he leaned down, kissed her temple, and shot her bestie a look. “who holds her when she can’t sleep? who drives to three different stores because she’s craving that specific type of sourdough bread?”

“who plucked her eyebrows before her first date with you?” her best friend snapped, lifting her chin. “who held her hair while she cried over you that one time you forgot her birthday week started two days early?.”

joe winced. “low blow,”.

she giggled, head dropping against joe’s side while her best friend playfully clutched her hand. “he doesn’t deserve you,” she whispered loudly. “you’re radiant. powerful. glittery. too good for football,”.

joe narrowed his eyes. “she literally watched all 22 of my throws last week and called out the coverage shifts,”.

“because she’s smart,” her bestie deadpanned. “you’re just pretty,”.

joe raised a brow. “so are you. so is she,”.

“thank you,” her best friend beamed, before turning back to her with a pout. “but seriously—if i wore pads and a helmet, would you love me more?”.

“you’re ridiculous. both of you,” she laughed, head shaking as they each clung to her like human magnets.

“and yet,” her best friend said sweetly, “you love it. you love us fighting for you,”.

joe’s hand was already sliding to her waist. “yeah, well,” he murmured low in her ear, “she loves me more,”. before she could react, joe tugged her gently up and away from the couch, his fingers laced with hers, leading her toward the hallway with a knowing smirk.

“excuse me—, where are you stealing her to?” her best friend called after them, mock-offended.

“five minutes,” joe called back over his shoulder. “she’s gotta give the boyfriend some attention. for balance,”.

she squealed when he pulled her into the hallway alcove, her back hitting the wall with a soft thud, his broad frame caging her in. he leaned down, voice a low, teasing rumble against her mouth.

“she gets you all day,” joe murmured, nosing at her jaw, lips brushing her skin. “i get you like this,”.

and then he kissed her—slow, deep, and possessive. the kind of kiss meant to be remembered. his hand curled around her jaw, the other sliding just beneath her shirt at her waist, skin on skin. she whimpered, melting against him, fingers clutching the front of his hoodie like it was the only thing holding her up.

he pulled back just enough to whisper against her mouth, “you think she heard that little noise you just made?”.

her breath hitched. “joe…,”.

“mmhm. that’s what i thought,” he grinned, kissed her again, and then smoothed her hair down like nothing had happened.

they returned to the living room like that—her a little flushed, joe smug as hell—while her best friend narrowed her eyes.

“really?” she asked dryly. “you made out in the hallway while i was picking a movie?”.

joe just flopped onto the couch and pulled her into his lap. “you had her all afternoon. fair’s fair,”.

her best friend huffed. “you’re lucky she loves you,”.

“i know,” joe said, grinning against her shoulder.

[lokileaf]

Comfort

Loki x f!reader blurb

Reader is on her period and Loki wants to help!

Established relationship, female reader, fluff.

You woke with a groan, pulling your duvet over your head to block out the sun shining through the curtains. You cringed at the dull pain that radiated from your midsection, curling yourself into a ball.

You had slept horribly the night before, unable to achieve any level of comfort regardless of your positioning. You had taken the maximum dose of ibuprofen, which had done almost nothing to manage the pain, leaving you essentially bed bound.

"Darling, are you alright?," you heard Loki ask from your living room.

"You haven't been answering your-" he cut himself off upon entering your room and seeing your sorry state, his concern evident on his face.

"Hi, Lokes," you mumbled, making him smile with the nickname.

You force yourself to sit up, allowing yourself a moment to rest on the edge of your bed before standing and making your way to your bathroom. You grab the box of tampons on the counter only to realize it was nearly empty. You sigh and toss it in the trash, quickly taking care of your business before washing your hands and returning to your room.

"Is everything alright?" Loki asks, pulling you into a hug and resting his chin on the top of your head. You smile into his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent.

"Not really..." you trail off, closing your eyes and enjoying the warmth of his body against yours.

"What can I do for you?"

You looked up at him, smiling slightly.

"Can you go get me some pads and tampons? And maybe some ice cream?"

"Of course, my love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your phone buzzed with a text from Loki.

I may have overestimated how simple this would be, it read.

You smiled down at your screen, typing out a description of the exact products you wanted.

Multipack with both regulars and supers and then a box of pads with wings.

Oh, and the fudge-iest pint of ice cream you can find, you added.

You waited a few moments for his reply.

Anything for you.

You couldn't help but grin, wondering how you got so lucky. You grabbed the TV remote, throwing on a random romcom while you scrolled on Twitter in an attempt to distract yourself from how awful you felt.

Thirty minutes later, you heard your apartment door open and the rustle of plastic grocery bags as Loki made his way back to your room. You giggled as you realized what he had in his hands: a box of tampons, a box of pads, and a to go box of chicken wings.

“What?” he asked, genuine confusion lacing his voice.

“You stopped for chicken wings?”

“I thought you said you needed ice cream, tampons, and pads with wings!” he said defensively.

You pulled yourself out of bed, walking over to him and pulling him into a hug.

“You’re so cute,” you said softly, releasing him and taking the boxes of products from him.

“I do try, darling,” he replied, kissing the top of your head as you disappeared into the bathroom once again.

You took care of your business, washing your hands as you checked yourself in the mirror. You look exhausted, to put it simply. Dark circles stained your under eyes, your hair still a mess from sleep. You sighed, leaving the bathroom before you could dissect your appearance further.

Loki was waiting for you on your bed, the box of wings open and a movie queued up. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you took your place beside him and opened the box of wings.

Not even an hour later and you were nestled back under the covers, fighting sleep as Loki rubbed light circles on your back and used his seidr to help ease your pain. You sighed in contentment as he pressed soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I love you,” you mumbled quietly.

“I love you too, darling.”

[fernhelm]

jegulus is more fun for me when james is at least a little bit of the cocky asshole he is in canon. i think him being a tad mean-spirited would make him much more relatable to regulus. he’s a prankster! he’s puck! i think he trusts his own interpretations of how others feel more than their own words. he’s a hopeless romantic and he’s writing a script for the love confession before the convo even happens. so good thing regulus is a grade-A bullshit detector and can knock james off balance in an instant. he’s goofy and charming but he will also push and push until he gets what he wants from you. and this would of course work on regulus (attention starved), but i truly believe it would piss lily off soooo bad. there is an element of performance to his behavior. he is always doing it for the studio audience. he’s throwing out cliché lines like he’s a romcom lead. he knows he’s hot. he does that thing where he lifts his shirt up to wipe his forehead and show off his abs. it’s the guy you want to hate but also begrudgingly respect in high school, and then could actually become friends with once you’re out. he’s a jock, yknow? that’s Sir Robin of Loxley. he’s never thinking about the power differential between him and severus, he sees himself as the knight in shining armor saving lily. insane levels of self-righteousness. this is why jegulus is the type of couple to have a big blowout fight and “go on a break” every couple of months, but ultimately be together forever. it’s what james wants— a relationship where they can break up and make up a thousand times and never doubt their love for each other. he lives for the dramaaa

[dangermousie]

2024 list - cdrama edition

Yes, it's cdrama world so even though December is halfway though, they may drop 10 more dramas I will check out between now and 2025. But if I wait, this will never get done and it can always be updated, so here we go. This has been one of the best cdrama years for me!

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2024; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. As always, very subjective.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

61 My Divine Emissary - it’s actually a pretty good drama year when the worst cdrama I’ve checked out this year is merely utterly shrill and brain dead but not horrifyingly offensive to good taste.

60 Are You the One - no you are not. There are objectively worse dramas I've ranked higher but this is here because I am annoyed at the waste of Zhang Wanyi and this drama's popularity and douban rating. I am a petty bitch.

59 Fight for Love - they had wonderful actors and a great premise and utterly wasted it. There might someday be a good drama about a female general torn between a royal and an enemy general but this ain’t it.

58 Peacock in Wonderland - I am a few decades too old for this brain dead fest but I am glad Zhou Jun Wei is not canceled at least.

57 Her Fantastic Adventures - honestly, this, MDE and Revenger are all the same type of subgenre - they aren’t offensive they are just as empty as air. This also suffers from casting an utter dud as ML and a charisma boat as SML. Why?

56 Lady Revenger Returns from the Fire - the main thing I remember from this is that Miles Wei must have stolen the wig maker’s parking spot. That wig is the one that should have gone into the fire.

55 Fox Matchmaker: The Red Moon Pact - it’s so pretty, so full of gorgeous costumes and actors and I enjoyed the first few eps, but ultimately it was like watching colorful paint dry. It was so dull, I couldn’t even hate watch it, and that is more damning than anything.

54 Your Trap/Imprisoned Love - the plot of this mini made no sense but the softcore vibes of sanitized 1990s cinemax were on point!

53 The Unexpected Marriage - cutesy dumb period romcom. Could be worse, not that this is much of a praise.

52 Love’s Rebellion - so twee, so precious, so full of cutesy awful CGI and actors who aren’t bothering. I am not sure why Zhang Linghe and Jing Tian are in this mess that looks like rainbow vomited on a xianxia set.

51 My Wife’s Double Life - her life may be double but her brain is only half.

50 Jade’s Fateful Love - I lost some braincells trying this one, but (a) it’s gorgeous and (b) no transmigration say you? Multiple transmigration in first ep alone! Good for you, makers!

49 Follow My Heart - how do you have Luo Yunxi, Song Yi and Cheng Lei and waste them so utterly? First few eps were nice and then it’s like exercise in how much you can tolerate before you call it quits.

48 The Story of Pearl Girl - almost made me dislike ZLS and LYN and that's a feat. Dull and stupid and pointless from beginning to end.

47 Brocade Odyssey - more like Snooze Novella.

46 Melody of Golden Age - see write up for FMH because it fits here. This is bland with a side of bland.

45 The Legend of Taotie - an unequivocally bad drama but the look is such a nostalgia trip and I had fun.

44 Sword and Fairy 4 - it’s kinda a mess but I loved the actors and some of the plots and you can do worse.

43 Dawn Amidst Hidden Clouds - I enjoy watching Chang Huasen as a ML but the rest is eminently forgettable.

42 Blossoms in Adversity - dumb as a set of particularly dumb bricks and ML I don’t think could act if his life depended on it, but it was strangely addictive and I watched it often before better dramas. It’s just a genuinely good time somehow!

41 Judge Dee - it’s not you it’s me in action. It’s smart and gorgeous and well acted, I just don’t do procedurals.

40 The Substitute Princess’ Love - it’s like some of those trashy web novels I enjoy. It was clearly cut, its budget was equivalent to loose change found in the pockets of makers of Fox Spirit Matchmaker, but it was a surprisingly fun watch, though I enjoyed the first half better than the second. Also as a drama old, it was a fun blast from the past seeing Dylan Kuo (if you have never watched the old twdrama The Outsiders, what are you even doing with your life?)

39 Rise from the Ashes - a wacky as hell mini where reborn FL wreaks revenge with help of her fake uncle as they carry on as some sort of Borgia/Phillip II of Spain fame hybrid. If you don’t need to use your brain, you could have a worse time.

38 The Legend of Heroes - it suffered from me seeing other versions of this tale before that I liked more and not loving how dark looking it is but that cast is A+ and Wang Hongyi was a revelation as Yang Kang.

37 Beauty Strategy - a mini of what a few years ago would have been a proper angsty drama of palace scheming enemies while lovers, powerless emperor etc etc. Honestly, I loved it.

36 Lovesickness - this year’s gender-reversed Ancient Love Song, not as artistic or good but still a good time about a woman traveling back in time and falling for a powerful but doomed duke.

35 Fragments of Kylin - demon slayer falls for a demon; this one came out of nowhere and didn’t have much of a budget but is surprisingly lovely.

34 Love of Nirvana - the good parts are vvvvv good and points for making the emperor the villain, but it almost never emotionally grabbed me, and a lot of time was spent on narratives I had no interest in.

33 Enslaved by Love - the only reason it’s not the most fucked up drama on this list is because Shadow Sect, Palace Shadows and Burning Flames exist. The ML is toxic enough to be banned by the Geneva convention but FL does get some of her own back and also if you ever wanted to see blindness-curing sex, boy do I have a drama for you!

32 The Princess Royal/The Grand Princess - I am in the minority of finding this drama very mid. The acting was fine (except for former eunuch dude), the writing was fine, but I never really got invested alas. I don’t even know why. I think it’s just not my type of narrative; there was no intensity.

31 Secrets of the Shadow Sect - head of sect lady and her very very subby bodyguard. What’s not to love?

30 Palace Shadows: Between Two Princes - ML pretends to be his own twin, bdsm and sluttiness ensues. I cannot even explain how wild this drama is but the acting is on point and way way fun!

29 Dashing Youth - I had no expectations of this drama (was either indifferent to or disliked everyone in the cast, wuxia and wuxia-adjacent is rarely my genre, the number of characters is huge) but I loved how under its bright colors, it eventually gets very dark (it’s quite old school that way) and somehow I am invested in everyone in the huge cast. This being a prequel to The Blood of Youth makes us know the fates of many of the characters and this adds the air of tragic inevitability to it all.)

28 The Last Immortal - a surprisingly sweet and touching xianxia that works largely because Zhao Lusi and Wang Anyu are so so so so solid separately and together.

27 Burning Flames - the most gonzo drama on this list. I love it for committing to insanity as it should (if you pick insane source material, commit.) Humans taking on the worst Gods since Olympus, fur and chains, sentient crystal FL, ML who goes from Crown Prince to mine slave to rebel leader, bare chests and fur, demon elves, a villain that leaches color from the world - this drama has everything and I loved its unhinged glory.

26 Lost You Forever 2 - it would have been higher except it fell apart in the last third so badly I am still wondering how the makers could misunderstand their own characters and their own narratives so badly. The first season was a masterpiece. This is a hot mess.

25 Fateful Love - this was released after years in the dungeon and feels old school in the best way. It's what reading one of those OP FL web novels feels like, and the OTP is shockingly competent and adult. I loved that.

24 Love Game In Eastern Fantasy - excellent start, mid middle, and a terrible last third but I cannot have truly hard feelings since before it fell off, it really was fun.

23 Love in a Dream - it's a mini that has the most gorgeous cinematography I've seen all year except for Fangs of Fortune and Eternal Brotherhood. I loved the vibes and the story (though of course it suffered from mini running time constraints) and its feeling of tragic love and lost time.

22 Different Princess - a ridiculous amount of fun and ship about an author falling through to her own novel and falling for the villain.

21 Kill Me Love Me - the story is a mess and a half but the OTP gave me some incredible incredible scenes, and Wu Jinyan, Liu Xueyi and Baron Chen are gorgeous and acting their hearts out, plus the whump mmmm.

20 Meet You at the Blossom - this is a Thai/Taiwan/China coproduction so I am including it. It's my list! An uncensored BL adaptation with delicious dysfunction, sunshine x murder boy, angst, shippiness, groveling and wigs that are surprisingly decent for the budget!

19 Sword and Fairy 6 - I love this tale; the young OTP (a whale weapon and a clone of her trigger? More wholesome than you think) who are so ride or die for each other, the other amazing characters (sect leader who has to live as a man and her “twin” who is an ancient trapped spirit, a wolf demon, etc…) It’s just genuinely good and proof that targeted to younger audience doesn’t have to be bad.

18 In Blossom - sure, we all know JJY can’t act, but the narrative was so fun and the visuals were so gorgeous and Liu Xueyi so gorgeous and magnetic in his first proper Male Lead role, it was all worth it. I liked the first half when they were still cautious of each other more than the second but this is just a good time!

17 Snowy Night Timeless Love - a classic, tragic, romantic wuxia the way "they don't make it any more" only they did. Just lovely.

16 The Rise of Ning - such a pleasant, easy slice of period life with a side of revenge and fakecest (but only a teeny side.) Secondary characters are not particularly engaging and the plot suffers from being limited to 40 eps, but the main OTP is so enjoyable and Ren Min and Zhang Wanyi are doing such nuanced, lovely job that I can't even complain.

15 Hard to Find - my second favorite mini on the list, this is an aesthetic feast. The doomed couple from enemy kingdoms, the vengeance, the twists - if ever a mini deserved to be a proper drama, this would be it. But alas, if it was they’d probably not let it.

14 The Double - unhinged web novel vibe done so perfectly in the inimitable Yu Zheng style. The leads were so good even the amazing villains didn’t truly steal the show. Like with a lot of cdramas, it lost a lot of steam in second half for me, but still a great watch.

13 Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 - I never like procedurals. Somehow both seasons of this show are the sole exception. It is so gorgeous, so impeccably acted, with such great characters. I cannot wait for s3.

12 Love in the Desert - a mini drama in story but with a proper budget and run time, this is such gorgeous sensual fun with a great main OTP, a truly incredible secondary OTP and some beautiful visuals.

11 Fortune Writer - the best mini this year and better than most “proper” cdramas (Douban raters agree), this tale of villains in love fighting the narrative has a lot to say about writing cliches and writing conventions. I love how clever it is and how it actually made me care for the characters.

10 Tender Light - except for that ending, this was in the running for my favorite 2024 cdrama. The writers’ lack of ability to commit and carry through pushed it lower but otherwise it’s a genuine masterpiece. The acting, the chemistry, the looping narrative, what it has to say about abuse and complicity of society and blazing your own moral path is something else.

9 Derailment - who knew a little quasi scifi modern would be this high but this one is amazing. If you watch one modern this year, make it this one. Our FL is a rich girl a little in the future who somehow wakes up in a different timeline a few years back in the body of that universe’s version of her (who is poor and has been missing) and her one connection is a young man who was in love with that universe’s version of her. I don’t want to say more so as not to spoil because the twists are twisty but this is EVERYTHING and also addresses transmigration, what it means to love, what is ethical etc etc. And that OTP!

8 Will Love in Spring - this is a year of miracles because I don't just have one modern among my favorites, I have a bunch. This is a gorgeous story about love and healing and awkward, scarred emotionally and physically people feeling if their odd angles and prickly flaws actually fit and working towards a future with fits and starts and it's just so chemistry driven, so tender, so gorgeous.

7 Snowfall - a fever dream of a vampire narrative set in an alternate universe of the Republican era, it’s gorgeous, passionate, hella queer and just like watching the most amazing fanfic come to life.

6 Heroes - a complete masterpiece about three men about to be on the scrapheap of history in the Qing Dynasty about to fall (a constable devoted to obsolete norms, who spent his whole life studying for the imperial exam which got canceled, the world’s best swordsman in the era of guns, and a former imperial guard who emerges from prison into a different world) whose stories intersect as they search for treasure and the women and other people in their lives. This is smart, impeccably acted, filmed in a stunning way, bleak and funny at once and - I don’t use the term masterpiece often but I will use it here.

4 (tie) Blossom - a romantic fever dream, with gorgeous damaged destined lovers. The director is the person who made A Familiar Stranger and Butterflied Lover into amazingness on a short run time and no budget, so when he actually has a proper run time and a budget - oh boy - it's romantic and beautiful and intense, a drama as opera.

4 (tie) The Legend of Shen Li - I am often indifferent to xianxia that suffers from too much CGI, hella immaturity and not enough stakes. Shen Li is everything. It’s gorgeously filmed, it’s adult, it gives the story time to breathe and centers it on characters and relationships. And the OTP is everything you can ever dream of - it reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin, totally healing those Princess Agents wounds - their chemistry is still utter fire but the narrative supports them every step of the way.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - if JoL2/FoF did not come out this year, this would be my favorite cdrama of the year. It’s clearly a passion project with a small budget but this complex and grim tale of three rather different sworn brothers in a world at war is gorgeous, smart, well acted, dark and inspiring at once. There are shots that take my breath away, the love stories are amazing, the pace is perfect, and ohhh our complex mainsssssss.

1 (tie) Joy of Life 2 - (almost) nothing can beat this masterpiece. The first season was perfect and somehow the second is even more perfect. It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s heartbreaking, the cast is still impeccable and Zhang Ruoyun still gives a completely jawdropping performance as the focus of all the madness Fan Xian. If you watch only one cdrama this year, make it this one; well, this and Fangs of Fortune.

1 (tie) Fangs of Fortune - this is an emotional and visual feast, with such incredible characters, interesting explorations of fantasy and mortality and morality and what makes life worth living. It made awful actors good and mid actors amazing (and amazing ones extra amazing.) It is also the most stunning drama I've ever watched as well as throwing me back into what it's like to be immersed into an amazing fantasy book as a kid and the characters and the relationships and the themes sing to me. A miracle.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Fangs of Fortune - I have rarely seen a drama that speaks to me so personally, but it is also narratively perfect, emotionally devastating, with impeccable acting, complex characters and visuals that are beyond stunning.

Joy of Life 2 - there is not one second I forwarded, not one unnecessary scene, not one weak link character. It’s a smart, fierce masterpiece.

Eternal Brotherhood is a runner up - it came out of nowhere and owned my whole heart. It’s the sole other cdrama this year where I did not ff a second.

WORST DRAMA

My Divine Emissary may have been the lowest ranked drama on my list but honestly, a drama with a tiny budget and a bunch of nobodies does not deserve to be listed as the Worst. What does? Fox Spirit Matchmaker - a huge budget, fancy stars etc etc and yet it's a completely and utterly unwatchable mess. To make something this thoroughly dull is a genuine feat. I cannot think of a drama that insults its viewer more not just this year but any recent year.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Fan Xian (Zhang Ruoyun), Joy of Life 2 - how could it ever be anyone but smart, irreverent, fierce, broken, idealistic, funny Fan Xian. The man who fights against the horrors of the universe, who remains human while being so larger than life. This character is everything.

Or Zhu Yun (Hou Minghao), an ancient, irreverent, vivid, borken demon who wants to die even as he might finally find a reason to live in Fangs of Fortune.

Runner up: Zhou Luo (Zhang Xincheng), Tender Light - idealistic loner who refuses to compromise his principles even as it would be easier to, even as it destroys his life, ZXC has always been a solid actor but here he is beyond.

Alternatively, Zichuan Xiu (Yang Xuwen), Eternal Brotherhood - only way to describe Xiu is “trauma sunshine.” He’s funny, he’s irrevocably fucked up, he is magnetic and intense and he fights for his hopeless ideals and he breaks and he keeps going.

or Xing Zhi (Lin Gengxin), the lonely ancient god in Shen Li discovering the pleasure of life for the first time in aeons.

or Zhuo Yichen (Fangs of Fortune) - a traumatized idealist who goes through so much hell but retains his heart and his core of steel even as he grows up about complexities of the world and the human heart.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Shen Li (Zhao Liying), The Legend of Shen Li - so fierce, so certain, so alive. She is a goddess but ZLY made her feel so real.

Runner up: Nan Ya (Tong Yao), Tender Light - an abuse victim who keeps trying to find a way out, she’s strong and damaged and complex and honestly, one of the best performances this year.

Alternatively, Jiang Xiao Yuan (Liu Haocun), Derailment - she makes a character that in other hands would be boring or trite, someone I want to reach through to the screen and protect and love.

Or Mi Lan (Ouyang Nana), Snowfall - a tiny, suicidal, abused, seemingly helpless blind girl who decides she needs to protect a deadly ancient vampire as her reason for living and she is unstoppable, fierce and a force of nature in her goal.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

99% of the denizens of the town in Tender Light - selfish every day denizens monstrous because of their very everydayness - they watch abuse and choose to blame the victim and gossip and enjoy the view. I hated them all.

BEST BAD GUY

Li Lun (Fangs of Fortune) - with his glorious mane, equally glorious eventual redemption, and incredibly dramatic attitude to a bad breakup, that was a feast.

The Emperor (Joy of Life 2) - a magnetic monster, smartest and the most ruthless character in any scene - Chen Dao Ming gives an insane performance.

Wang Jia Luo (Heroes) - a revolutionary for conservatism, a young man with brains and ideals who gets destroyed by them, who out-Javerts Javert, his descent into villainy and inability to live in the modern complex world, is one of the most compelling and tragic arcs of the drama.

Shen Yurong (The Double) - both repellent and somehow sympathetic, it takes skill to make me feel for a man who tried to bury his wife alive in ep 1. The performance of the whole drama for me.

City Lord (Eternal Brotherhood) - an utterly vile toad of a man, with nothing truly human and yet hiding it under weak and caring facade. I need him taken out.

"HAROLD, THEY ARE LESBIANS" AWARD

Wen Xiao x Pei Sijing, Fangs of Fortune - Duh.

"HOW DID CENSORS NAP THROUGH THIS" AWARD

Vamp Daddy and Loser Li in Snowfall and the entirety of Fangs of Fortune.

MALE LEAD MOST LIKELY TO BE BROUGHT HOME TO MOTHER

No, thank you! The few modern ones she'd not approve of (a mortician with issues? A teenager? A man who had his memories rearranged?) and the period ones are no go since few moms would be keen on wild-eyed, bloodied sons in law however hot and long haired they may be.

FAVORITE SHIP

Dou Zhao x Song Mo, Blossom - one of the most perfectly in sync couples out there, smart, competent, different kinds of damaged, get each other before they love or even trust each other. Your OTP could never. Unless your OTP is them.

Fan Xian x Lin Wan'er, Joy of Life 2 - she is his peace and his haven and the place his busy mind can rest, he is her safety and happiness and ability to live and not exist. They are everything to me.

Shen Li x Xing Zhi, The Legend of Shen Li - the chemistry, the yearning, the slow inevitable collapse into admittance, the way he protects the world and she protects him, the way they dance around each other, her being the aggressor, his surrender to forbidden emotion, their utter mutual belief in each other’s competence. They are everything to me.

Whatever the throuple (with sides?) thing was going on in Fangs of Fortune - I've raved enough about it elsewhere but that was insane in its intensity and gorgeousness and emotion and narrative arcs.

Runner up: the OTP in Derailment - those two went through some mind and soul breaking stuff and made it out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Hands down Ruo Wen x Ge Xinwei, Love in the Desert. An amoral, magnetic bandit leader and a princess gone wild on spring break stole the drama utterly. His unhinged energy was so matched by her sfl but with an appropriate target fixation. They made me swoon, laugh and cry.

Amusingly enough, Fu Xin Bo is the male actor in two - the crossdressing sect leader x wolf demon OTP in Sword and Fairy 6, and First Prince x Eldest Princess in Joy of Life 2. What can I say, man knows how to pick them. Those OTPs are both utterly adorable!

If we are talking about an OTP where it’s not that it’s not the main but it’s not a ship-centric drama so they don’t get much time, then we have Si Yilin x Ka Dan, Eternal Brotherhood - they are both such desperately good people in a mad world, tender with each other despite surrounding cruelty and Shen Zhiheng x Mi Lan, Snowfall - a vampire age gap romance done well, the ancient gentleman vampire and the tiny fierce blind girl who decides to protect him.

And of course Qing Geng x Fei, Fangs of Fortune - Ai Mi and Zuo Ye breaking my heart yet AGAIN.

NOTP

The couple in Fox Spirit Matchmaker - such pretty people, and so bland and boring and pointless together. It was kinda amazing.

HOTTEST SCENE

Ka Dan and Si Yilin (Eternal Brotherhood), the primmest, properest OTP of them all, consummate their love without any marriage, but with plenty of golden light.

FAVORITE SCENE

God, so many good scenes this year so far - Fan Xian watching the death of the old censor and the aftermath, in JoL2; his confrontation with Wan'er after she finds out about the truth behind her brother’s death, the scene where he poisons Second Prince, his scene with the registrar. Xiu giving up his future to protect the surrendered soldiers only to come back and find Di Lin executed them all in EB, the scene in Ning’s bedroom when he tells her how he really feels because she can’t hear, the very end of that season and Di Lin striding into the light, Ka Dan and SYL’s letters to each other. XZ literally defying heaven’s lightning and all their longing in Shen Li. The last scene of LYN and his girl in Heroes, the way Heroes always intercuts the golden past of the guard and princess and the dreary present (especially when we see her bicycle spin out of control back when and her husband lose it in the present and this time there is nobody to catch her), the big reveal in Derailment and the hairwashing scene, Mi Lan touching Vamp Daddy’s face as their thing in Snowfall, and the cage stuff, the aborted sex scene in Will Love in Spring, so many scenes in Fangs of Fortune but especially the aftermath on the stairs between ZYC and ZYZ post the latter's loss of control, the final sacrifice,Li Lun x ZYC x ZYZ battle against the bad guy, the whole plague demon storyline, ZYC becoming a demon, ZYZ having to slap himself to nerve himself to walk to his death, everything. And we haven't gotten to it yet, but the scene in all Blossom previews where Song Mo falls to his knees in front of Dou Zhao from a dead run is imprinted in me.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Shen Zhiheng (Gao Weiguang), Snowfall - Vamp Daddy made me hormonal in a way I haven’t felt for a cdrama lead since the heady days of Darren Wang in The Wolf. Those outfits, that hair, that height, that restraint, that lack of restraint. THE CHAINS

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Liu Duan Duan as Second Prince in Joy of Life 2 - what a performance! Unhinged, magnetic, pitiable, terrifying and always mesmerizing. The Second Prince is Fan Xian’s foil and a worthy one. LDD is always a great actor, and with a role that actually gives him something to sink his teeth into - wow!

Runner up - Baron Chen in Kill Me Love Me. It's the year of unhinged royal princes, I guess.

BEST COSTUMES AND WIGS

Fangs of Fortune - the whole design is exquisite!

MOST EXTRA OUTFIT

Burning Flames - this drama was a feat of extraness and that meant costumes but even among those, costumes worn by Peter Ho's human king and Jeremy Tsui's psychotic god stood out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY ML

Wu Shan, Blossom - this man is a literal sunshine angel.

MOST BLATANT INNUENDO MOMENT

The Double - As our FL fondles her wet flower petals in the bath, our ML wields and swings his giant sword shirtless in the rain. That was eye popping.

FAVORITE 2024 CDRAMA SONG

This Chen Xueran song from Eternal Brotherhood:

MVP OF THE YEAR

Liu Xueyi (In Blossom, Kill Me Love Me) - this is the year LXY finally achieved leading man status and he was spectacular in both of his outings - so very different in both but equally magnetic in either even if the dramas themselves had flaws. I have a new fave!

ACTING SURPRISE

Ouyang Nana - Li Muge performs miracles. He made Yang Chaoye be good in Heroes (2022) and now Nana, who was always as wooden as a post, is a revelation as blind abused girl who becomes a vampire in Snowfall.

Hou Minghao - I've always found HMH a stunningly beautiful man and a thoroughly bland actor. But he was surprisingly solid in Dashing Youth and utterly blew me away in Fangs of Fortune. Like jaw on the floor level blown away.

Wang Hongyi - found him bland as paint in LYF (both seasons) but his Yang Kang in Condor Heroes blew me away and then he repeated that feat as a very different character in a very different drama (Snowy Night.) Consider me a new fan.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Joy of Life 2 of course - I need to see the looming confrontation between Fan Xian and the emperor, though not sure how that will pass censorship.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

FF button has cured me of finding contenders for this category, but perhaps cutting out a lot of terrible acting and lack of stage presence of “not yet a eunuch” dude in The Princess Royal, would have improved it.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Lost You Forever 2 - there were other issues with it, but all the cuts couldn’t have helped with coherency.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Same as last year - the emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country! Though they are nibbling at the edges this year. Also fake feminism - I am all for girl power but not when it's ridiculously anachronistic for the period with no explanation at all. And finally NO MORE TRADE DRAMAS PLS PLS PLS

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men (and women) knowingly fighting for a doomed cause because otherwise they’d cease to be who they are. Or if we are being shallow all the beautiful men in chains.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Lost Your Forever 2 - the first season was my favorite drama of 2023 but LYF2 just fell apart so so so badly, it was almost fascinating. It totally eviscerated the characters and the meanings of the story.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

So many of top dramas on my list are not dramas that were on my radar at all before airing - Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood, Fangs of Fortune, Will Love in Spring and Snowfall were not anything I anticipated, let alone I realized how much I’d love them. Same for Derailment and Tender Light. This has been a year of surprises.

2024 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have honestly watched everything I wanted.

BEST NON-2024 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2024

Lighter and Princess, hands down. I rarely even enjoy moderns and this one made it into my Top 5 cdrama of all time. This is how you make a love story. This is literally perfect. PERFECT.

Runner up: Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty - I, a procedural and mystery hater (especially when there is close to no romance) somehow fell like a ton of bricks for this gorgeous, smart, impeccably acted show.

MOST ANTICIPATED

A Dream Within a Dream looks like Fortune Writer with proper length and budget, Legend of the Female General looks epic and I love the novel, Divine Tree with Deng Wei is all my fave tropes, Veil of Shadows is peak Guo Jingming, and so many more.

[allaboutsturns]

hiii ! can i request this tiktok but with matt? https://www.tiktok.com/@sammandjordan/video/7366801163586571566

texts with bf!matt

matthew sturniolo x reader

content/warning(s): swearing, fake cheating accusations, prank, anxiety mentions, sexual innuendos.

last night i had gone over to the triplets house for dinner. i asked my boyfriend matt if i could “borrow” his phone so i could edit his autocorrect to change the word “babe” to a random chicks name whenever he typed it. i settled on the name emily.

after dinner i went home and fell asleep on the phone with matt. we stayed on the phone even after we woke up for majority of the day until i had to go to do chores around my apartment.

chime.

chime. chime.

after a while of nothing but music playing softly in the background while i cleaned, my phone chimed with a notification, the screen lighting up. it was immediately followed by two more chimes.

i picked up my phone and clicked on the notifications. it was matt. he had texted me asking to come over. originally, the message would have read, “can i come over, babe?” but because i edited his autocorrect, the word “babe” read “emily” instead.

my plan was set in motion.

after my evil plan, matt had to come over because the whole situation made him anxious. he hated making me upset and even the thought of doing so broke his heart.

when he arrived at my place, he sat down on the couch and i immediately grabbed snacks and put a romcom on the tv.

when i sat down on the couch next to him, i opened my arms, inviting him to lay on me. he quickly accepted the invitation and laid down on me, nuzzling as closely as he could to my body as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

i ran my fingers gently through his brunette hair which made him smile so brightly i swear it radiated the room.

he loved listening to my heartbeat, it was one of his favorite things in the world. it reminded him that i was real, that i was there, and that i was his. listening to his heartbeat was one of my favorite things in the world too, for the exact same reasons as him.

after about ten minutes, he looked up at me and bit his bottom lip, the grip he had around my waist tightening.

“remember that ‘offer’ i made over text?” he asked quietly. i nodded in response as my teeth sank into my bottom lip. he pushed himself up off of me and pushed me gently onto my back on the couch. my lips parted slightly letting out a quiet gasp as his fingers traced mindless shapes into my side which is where i’m most sensitive.

“i think i wanna make that happen,” he whispered into my ear. i arched my back slightly, wanting to be touching him with every part of my body, “me too..” i mumbled. with that, he kissed me, our tongues immediately fighting for dominance.

his hand slipped under the fabric of my shirt and found its way to one of my breasts, squeezing it ever so slightly. i gasped which made him pull away from the kiss with a smirk.

“don’t ever pull some slick shit like that again,” he stated, hunger filling his eyes.

“i won’t, i promise..” i said quietly as he planted kisses all over my face, slowly making his way down to my neck. i gasped as he began biting gently at the skin of my neck in all the spots that made me squirm, desperate for more. he knew me like the back of his hand.

my fingers gripped onto him tightly as our bodies tangled with each other, “i love you, gorgeous.” he spoke those words as if they were the only words he ever wanted to say, “i love you, handsome..” i reciprocated as pants fell from my lips.

the rest of the night was filled with laughs, promises, and love.

eventually we made it back to my room and fell asleep tangled within each other in the most comfortable way possible. it was my favorite way to fall asleep. his warmth complimented mine.

god i love him and i know he loves me just as much.

GAHHH i love this so much. i kind of did more than expected and yall r getting 2 snacks in one night..??!!! I HOPE THIS MEETS UR EXPECTATIONS ANNONIE! (pls submit more requests guys, writers block is killing me and writing requests gives me motivationnnn!!) love u guys sm

- ace <3

taglist: @whoisabbyysblog @mattyblover07 @b2cute @samandcolbyfan22 @h3arts4harry @nickgetsmewetter

[nervoussagittarius]

DATING MATT STURNIOLO HEADCANNONS

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: none just extreme fluff

☼ matt is quite literally your biggest fan. who cares if he’s the one with millions of followers. he’s supporting in everything you do

☼ matt’s love language is quality time. he loves spending time with people that he’s close with and you best bet that he will give you his full attention no matter what

☼ matt makes you passenger princess no matter what. forget chris. if you’re in the car that is your seat.

☼ matt’s not very big on pda he likes holding hands and short kisses but he loves when you wrap your hand around the inside of his arm and hold his bicep when you’re next to him

☼ matt’s the type of guy to ask you questions 24/7 so he can always be on top of his game. he know exactly how you like your coffee or how much ice you put in your drinks. he knows how much shampoo and conditioner you use so he can wash your hair for you

☼ matt won’t let you open doors for yourself. even if you tell him it’s fine. he’s running to beat you to any and every door you come across

☼ matt’s doing everything for you so you can be as relaxed as possible

☼ matt will never take his bad mood or attitude out on you. you’re his solitude so even if he’s having the worst day you being there makes him 10x happier

☼ matt loves sitting in comfortable silence with you and just holding you. it’s a time where the rest of the world melts away and it’s just you two

☼ matt has so many nicknames and pet names for you that it’s hard to keep up. often his brothers have to look at him and ask who he’s talking to or about

☼ matt makes you bouquets of flowers and always keeps one so he knows when they need replaced

☼ matt’s big on hand writing you letters or sticky notes. he could be going to the store for 5 minutes but he’ll always leave a little sticky note next to you so you don’t wonder where he is when you wake up

☼ matt will see something that reminds him of you and will send you a picture or a text letting you know. this happens usually multiple times a day

☼ matt’s a sleepy guy and his sleep schedule is all over the place so he makes sure to let you know anytime he’s about to fall asleep or when he wakes up so you know he’s okay

☼ matt loves late night drives with you. he’ll take you anywhere as long as you’re comfortable and happy. he doesn’t mind if you fall asleep either he just wants to be near you

☼ matt was never a “tough guy” around you. you saw through that act real fast, but tough guy matt is really attractive

☼ matt pretends to fight you on what to watch but he really doesn’t care what you put on. he’ll watch the stupidest romcom or show with you if that’s what you want

chats from lucy: i hope you liked this! if you want me to write something or have any suggestions or feedback please let me know :))

[withlove-xixi]

— HEARTSTEEL AS YOUR BOYFRIEND: heartsteel x reader

ᥫ cw: none ★ a friend got into heartsteel recently so they've been on my mind .... (shamefully) im sorry .. i like league of legends ..

yone is the type of boyfriend to shower you with gifts; surprise flowers at your workplace or on your bedside table, fancy wine and sweets on your kitchen counter, expensive new clothes on your bed. he loves spoiling you, whether it's buying you things you'd like (or even things he thinks you'd like) or doing things for you, opening the door for you, washing your hair, carrying your things, etc. like if your feet hurt, he'd offer to carry you or switch shoes with you. yone loves using pet names on you too, and they're often poetic. he'll press a kiss on your cheek and call you "my moonshine" or he'd wake you up with a "good morning, my spring gale".

his love language is definitely acts of service and gifts, yone just likes giving you things. there's a sense of security and domesticity he gets when he knows he's able to treat you to things, being able to provide for you. k'sante is a very patient boyfriend. he's very gentle, so much so you could call him delicate. from the way he speaks to you, to the way he touches you, it's all so soft and tender. you hardly ever argue or fight, and on the occasions that you do, k'sante makes sure it's handled calmly and orderly. he's a very generous person too, whatever is his is yours. k'sante is always ready and willing to share when it comes to you, give you bites of even his favorite food, lend you his jackets or shirts, share his personal space with you.

k'sante's love language is acts of service and physical touch, though more so physical touch than anything. it doesn't have to be some big grand gesture either, he just loves holding you close to him. in public, his hand is either in yours, his thumb gently rubbing against the back of your hand, or it's resting comfortably on your hip, like it's dips and curves were made for him to slot his big hands into. he's kiss you so often too, pressing his lips any place he can, like a warm wax seal to a love letter. he'd kiss the top of your head when he passes by you, he'd kiss your cheek or the tip of your nose when he bids you goodbye, he'd slowly kiss your lips when he comes home. kayn is ... uhm ... well for starters, he's hardheaded. he's not the type of guy to ask you where you want to eat because he knows where he wants to eat, so you're eating there. second, he's a bit prideful, it makes him shun away explicit "lovey-dovey crap", like when he reluctantly comes to hug you from behind or when he shyly hands you a gift, but then it also makes him brag about you all the time, to the other members, all over his social media. he's weird like that, and his pride (really for the most part of him being embarrassed, it's nervousness that gets him) hardly gets in the way, at least later on in the relationship.

his love language is quality time and gifts. though, he's always a bit embarrassed when he gives you gifts, it's really special because they're always things he sought out specifically for you and you alone. you like bread from a bakery in the next city? he's on his motorcycle halfway there to get it for you. you want to watch a movie? he's already got the tickets to the best seats and he's got your favorite snacks. (i like to think he loves making you handmade gifts too, songs, love letters, etc. :>) ezreal is ... also a handful. on one hand, he's the sweetest. he's mastered all the romance tropes from those romcoms he loves so dearly. he knows to hold doors open for you, he knows to get you flowers, he knows to hold you close on cold night. but then... he's... like a lap dog at times. like a lovesick puppy, he's practically glued to your side. he's constantly texting you, calling you, sending you pictures of himself, the food he eats, places he goes. (it's sweet but he very much blows up your phone with notifications).

his love language is quality time and touch! most definitely is! ez just loves being around you, he's pretty big on pda. he's not afraid to kiss you in public or hold your hand or grab your waist, he has to flaunt his love to you to the rest of the universe. sett is like having a big dog. he's cuddly, he's energetic, and he's surprisingly pretty low maintenance. he lets you sit on his lap and he puts his chin on top of your head, and you can practically see a tail wag from underneath him. but it's sweet really, like you had your own personal sun to brighten up your day any day.

his love language is quality time and words of affirmation. he's the type not to care what you're doing or where you are, as long as he's there doing it with you, there by your side, he's happy. sett is content with even just having you in the same room as him, even if you weren't by his side. your warmth radiates through your presence alone. aphelios is a very quiet kind of boyfriend. he doesn't like pda, he doesn't like being touched too often, and as much as he likes you, you're not much of an exemption. it takes a while for him to warm up to things like hand holding or hugs and stuff, and it definitely takes a good while for him to warm up to kissing. with phel, you'd have to initiate most touchy things like grabbing his hand first or leaning closer to him first. but what he lacks in initiative, he makes up for in other things. for one, he loves planning dates. he likes taking you to all sorts of places or to do all sorts of things, he's the type to try and do unique dates or to try and not go to the same places twice (at least, not twice so quickly).

his love language is quality time and acts of service. he likes it when you two spend time together not doing the same thing, if you're both on discord just silently doing your own things or if you're both in his room doing different things. he doesn't mind too much, for him it's comforting really that you like staying by his side. and he wouldn't mind too if you'd come up to him to initiate things. like if he were laying in bed and you laid your head in his stomach, he would definitely comb his fingers through your hair or rest his arm over your stomach.

[miwiheroes]

Hii, not really a question but I'm rewatching s2 and I noticed a parallel between the "we like steve... but we don't love steve" and Nancy stammering quite a bit to say "I- I do" and Mike having a similar response during his fight with El. I don't really know if you or someone else had already noticed that but felt the need to say it

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Day 32: Murray's Conversation w/ Jancy . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

@j-gvellthings hope u don't mind I hijacked ur ask to use for my post thing i just think this is uber interesting <3

Honestly, that whole conversation with Murray and those scenes could absolutely apply to Byler and Jancy at the same time. In some moments, I feel like what he says could actually apply to Mike more than Nancy.

Jancy say they're "just friends" here ^^ and obviously,,, if you've watched literally any romcom or show with romance in, you'd know that if someone is a little two defensive about the two of them being friends, then the audience is supposed to imply that they could be something more than that -- which happens with Byler in S4, when Mike unnecessarily calls them friends. It's not in the same context obviously, but Mike takes it romantically.

Murray also says that Jonathan and Nancy have 'shared trauma' which is apparently the 'real shit' (meaning the apex of the conversation and the most important thing). Now, this obviously applies to Jancy because they went through a lot and that's what creates this meaningful bond between the two of them. Steve does not understand what Nancy's been through -- Jonathan does. And vice versa i guess.

Byler also have this exact dynamic. Mike was with Will during S2 when all that shit happened - and the subsequent dynamic has shifted so Mike seems like the only one that really understands what Will goes through. They also both go through the same types of bullying, which is shown in S1.

Some examples of their 'shared trauma' dynamic are:

Will says that Mike shouldn't tell anyone else about his True Sight because 'they won't understand' - S2E02

Mike says that Will is quiet today and Lucas brushes it off, but Mike sees it as something deeper - S2E01

Will only tells Mike about D'art and Mike is the one to shout at the others and gets rid of his problem for him - S2E03

At the Snow Ball, Will looks at Mike when a girl asks him out, because he's so used to checking with him for things - S2E09

Mike asks Will if he's okay at the movie theatre because he's so in tune with Will's emotions surrounding scary stuff (they were about to watch a horror movie) - S3E01

I only really named ones in S2 because that's the season where Murray actually says that so I feel like it has more value when it's all in S2

"Trust issues am I right? Something to do with your dad."

Obviously, we all know that Will's had issues with his homophobic father - so has Jonathan, so it can apply to both of them. Most of Will's internalised homophobia can be traced back to bullying which includes his father.

It is shown right from the beginning of the whole show that Lonnie calls Will slurs, and attempts to make him like things that any 'normal' boy should want. Jonathan counteracts this by telling Will that he shouldn't just like things because people tell you to and telling Will that it's much better to be a 'freak' than normal.

This homophobic bullying could arguably lead to trust issues for Will - his internalised homophobia from his dad is what is keeping him from telling Mike the truth. He's afraid that Mike 'won't like the truth' because of the things he's experienced in the past.

Now, the one where Murray calls out Nancy is way more interesting:

"You. You're harder to read."

Nancy is of course, harder to read than Jonathan because she hides so much -- she's harder for the audience to figure out because she's in a relationship already. Even so, I think this applies to Mike even more than Nancy. We have Nancy's POV. We can often see what she's thinking and feelings, but with Mike, we haven't had his POV and private thoughts and inner conflicts since S2. For two whole seasons, there has been barely a moment of introspection for Mike. The audience has constantly questioned what the hell he's thinking and why he's acting this way.

It's simple -- he's supposed to be harder to read.

"Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you... accepted yourself for who you really are"

HELLO? I think when i rewatched this I was a little confused because the wording of this sentence does not really allude to Nancy's issues alone. She is, of course, afraid of accepting who she really is, but it's hard to see that as her main character arc. She's more afraid of leaving the safety of Steve, but this wording is just so oddly familiar to someone telling someone who's queer to accept themselves.

Literally Mike's arc - he's afraid of what would happen if he accepted himself. If he accepted himself - it would mean he realises he doesn't love El, which means he's failed her and has to break up with her. He might lose her if he accepts himself. Idk, the wording is just tooooo suspicious to just apply to Nancy here.

"retreated back to the safety of... Name?" "Steve"

This is kind of insane UM,,, so Nancy uses Steve as her safety blanket because he's a well-respected, popular person at school and has a lot of money, which is similar to her parents' situation. Being with Jonathan is the less secure option, but it aligns with her true feelings. Which means the audience should want her to be with the person she actually loves rather than someone she doesn't want to lose purely based on safety.

Mike literally does this returning to the safe option thing 3 times in the show...

Mike slowly realises that meeting Will was the best thing he ever did, not meeting El, not helping her etc. This happens over the course of S2, and Mike accepts that El is gone, placing her in the same category as Bob when talking to Max. When El comes back, he's torn between the two, and we can see this dilemma in the Snow Ball scene. Will is off with someone else - Mike is questioning why he's feeling like this and what he should do - so he sacrifices his true feelings for what he feels is the greater good and what he should just do, which is to stay with El.

At the end of S3, Mike realises something and is scared of what this could mean. He realises that he has been trying to change himself too much over the course of the summer and just wants things to go back to the way they were. In S4, he attempts to cover up his feelings and push them down because he's afraid of what would happen of he accepted himself, and pretends to be in a normal, healthy relationship.

During S4, Mike realises that his relationship with El is something that he's insecure about, and often confides in Will about this. He alerts to Will that he should have 'explained himself' to El, rather than telling her I love you, implying that he doesn't want to say that ever. He agrees with Will that the truth could hurt someone he cares about. He's worried that El doesn't need him anymore, and is happy when Will tells him that she'll need him no matter what - but he still has to be encouraged by Will's words to say I love you to her. This is for the greater good - what he thinks will keep her alive and what he thinks she needs.

So again, Mike and El's relationship is built on commitment and safety - being with Will is the least safe option because it would mean having to look inside himself, accepting himself, and possibly losing El, who he still cares about.

"We like Steve." "Yes!" "But we don't love Steve."

This one's pretty self-explanatory and was the original point of the ask above - Nancy has literally in this season told Steve the words 'I love you'. You can say those words even when you don't mean it, the writers aren't that stupid to be worried that the viewers will suddenly go "OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME-"

But, obviously, before Nancy went off with Jonathan, the last thing she talked to him about was their argument about her not being able to say I love you to him - in that argument, when asked to tell him, she stumbles and goes "Really?" before they're interrupted. Then she can't say anything. She can't say it because it's not true.

Sound familiar? - while there are many more nuanced aspects to Mileven's scenes in S4, it is arguably similar to the Stancy's plot that Murray is talking about. Nancy 'likes' Steve, but her feelings aren't deeper than that. She cares about him, but that doesn't have to necessarily mean she loves him romantically. In the same sense, Mike blurts out "I care for you" instead of "I love you" during their argument.

Nancy stumbles over her words trying to deny it - which is the same with Mike when he gets confronted about it in S4, leading to him trying to gaslight and become defensive, using words like "ruin" and "ridiculous".

All I'm trying to say here is that the Duffers aren't strangers to writing a plot where a character is repressing their feelings and using a relationship as protection in order to hide who they really are. And the lines are written to be so non-specific that we can't ignore that they can easily apply to Byler as well as Jancy.

[honeybadger16]

Charles Leclerc! Boyfriend Headcanons

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader 

Warnings: sexual themes, swearing, Charles being a simp for his GF

Word Count: .6k

a/n: Im thirsting over this photo so hard. I want them around my throa-

Charles is such boyfriend material 

the first date would include a tour around Monaco with Charles showing you his favorite spots growing up 

Extremely attentive to your mood and feelings

would actively listen and get angry with you when you come home and vent about the stupid people at your job 

“yeah fuck her” 

if you get a period he’ll get you ten different kinds of chocolates and all the types of pad or tampons the store has 

fusses over you

“you need to stay in bed!”

“Charles I’m just on my period not dying” 

“shh you need all the rest you can get” 

when he’s away for races he’ll text you good morning and night every.single.time.

sends you photos of what reminds him of you 

this included the pink tulips in his mom’s garden, the baby deer he spotted on his run, and the delicious strawberry gelato he got with Arthur

his entire camera roll is photos of you off guard 

to you, the photos should never see the light of day, but Charles could stare at them all day

expect all the pet names in the world with him 

“Mon amour, Mon Chéri, princess, my love, etc.”

speaking of princesses, expect him to treat you like an actual princess

likes to tie your high heels before you go out, so he can sneak a few kisses on your body

when he had a rough day he likes to sit at the piano and play for a bit

you usually sit by him resting your head on his shoulder as he pours out his emotions through his self-written songs 

you would encourage him to release his music on his platforms, giving him the courage to share his creativity with the world

at home dates are a must 

these dates would include binge-watching 2000s romcom movies and eating sugary and fat foods Charles’ nutritionist would not approve of

you would also convince him to let you do skincare on him (face masks, moisturizers, toners, etc.) 

he secretly loves the attention you give him and looks forward to stay-in date nights

this man is so dramatic

would get offended if you watched an episode of a show without him 

“I’m so hurt mon amour how could you do this to me.”

fighting is inevitable for any couple, and yours would most likely stem from the stress of racing and the effects it has on Charles 

Sometimes when Ferrari’s strategy or engineering goes to shit, Charles will come home in a bad mood 

This will cause him to respond in a curt and rude manner

After a few hours have passed he will come and apologize to you, kissing you all over your face asking you to forgive him

he loves when you use flavored lip balm, it gives him an excuse to kiss you more as he tries to guess the flavor

his favorite color on you is red, especially when shopping for lingerie

the first time you wore red underwear for him, he nearly came in his pants 

his mom would approve of the two of you seeing how happy you make Charles 

this man is whipped

he’s constantly heart eyes towards you 

will buy you all the nicest perfumes, jewelry, and shoes 

got you a necklace with the initial C and wears a matching bracelet with the initial of your first name 

loves when you wear his name on your shirt during racing weekend 

people would know that you’re dating regardless of the shirt because he’s attached to you in the paddock

whether it’s holding your hand or wrapping his arm around your waist he loves feeling you next to him

always looks for you first in the crowd when he stands on the podium 

considers you his rock and would do anything for you 

[levandright]

omg this is my first time doing one of these i’m sorry if my answers aren’t good 😭😭 i’m usually described as very hyper and funny by others, i’m very loyal and i try my best to be nice to others. i love reading and listening to music and watching romcoms. i’m a capricorn. my ideal type is somebody tall, kind, shy and quiet. i also love when they’re chaotic and hyper idk it’s a mix of both maybe??

my favourite trope would be like the boy next door trope and enemies to loves like mixed together but those two separately are also good !! my favourite season is winter and hobbies of mine are reading, writing poems, baking, and beauty related stuff like doing makeup (idk what else 😭)

i would like to be matched up with nct dream !! i’m sorry if the information is confusing once again <3 and congrats on 200 followers !!! 🫶🫶

FINDING YOUR MATCH...

MATCH FOUND! your match is... PARK JISUNG

JISUNG loves how energetic you are, your humor just matches his perfectly. you always have him laughing at one of your quick-witted jokes. being by your side he's albe to unleash his playful and cheeky side. often teasing you in lighthearted and affectionate way that sometimes leave you blushing.

JISUNG is easily able to match your energy when you're both alone, but when you're in a more public setting he easily gets shy. (he can't help it you know!) though he's shy in public doesn't mean he won't go out his comfort zone once a while to see your surprised expression ;). its worth the judging stares of single passerby's he thinks.

JISUNG and you have a tradition of having a snowball fight every winter time, often competing who'll hit the other more. you always win somehow. he's totally not letting your snowball hit him on purpose he says.

JISUNG loves loves building gingerbread houses with you <3 even if he always end up breaking something while making the gingerbread house, his gingerbread house often looking like an earthquake hit it with a 10.0 magnitude. which often times lead you to teasing him, sometimes he'll get all sad and pouty just to make you hug and comfort him(an evil mastermind he is…)

JISUNG wants to bake with you, but one time he almost burned your shared apartment down because he let the oven on for longer than the needed amount, you've banned him from touching the kitchen since (he says he won't do it again though, maybe you should give him another chance-)

JISUNG would let you practice your makeup skills on him, he'll just be staring at your face like some love sick puppy though, you often get flustered if you kept eye contact with him for more than 7 mins.

your custom playlist <3

✮ lev notes : TYSM!! dw it wasn't confusing <3 I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING YOUR MATCHUP hehe :33 hope you'll like the songs i choose for your playlist :D ✮ want to find your own match? apply here! curious about other matches?