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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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bioodorange · 3 years

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||The Pastas At The Beach||

this was originally like an entirely different post but ehhh this ways better!

disclaimer Im setting this like, at a beach with a boardwalk and such next too it? Public beach, small time vacationing!

and that they conviently like..pass as human

I hope you guys enjoy!! remember too check out my announcement board!

taglist: @frozensriracha @creepy-bi-day @capricornartistsstuff @krayolacolor

Jeff the Killer

Jeff doesn't really do much at the beach

The salt water irritates his skin and he burns easily, doesn't want too deal with it

Spends most of his time asleep

Hogs all the damn towels by sprawling out all over all of them

Gets sand over everything that they brought with them

Forgets how wind works and it gets everywhere

When its time for some of em too go get food, he always fucking goes

Wants too walk around and do something, and maybe not get blamed for all the fucking sand when everyone sits back down

He wears one of those like protective long sleeved shirts? and red swim trunks that are just somewhat obnoxiously bright

While getting the food he has a brilliant idea

Befriends the fucking seagulls

Lures them back too their umbrellas and just vibes with his bird army

atleast he's not alone anymore?

Ben Drowned

first off I know like he doesn't go swimming

but imagine if he did

his fucking goggles get filled up with blood

gets weird ass tan lines from the blood on his face like, when he's not swimming

has too wear the goggles when he puts on sunscreen-

ok ok thats it

fucker wears like mountain dew swim trunks

and those arm floatie things despite not going anywhere near the water

He tries too sit around Jeff but that gets boring fast-

Just walks the fuck off without telling anyone, on a journey for adventure

Will spend literal hours sitting underneath the boardwalk until someone finds him

After that they get him like one of thise beach toy kit things

Sally's nice enough too fill the bucket with water too, so they can make sand castles and stuff

She walks along the shore line with him, gets pretty shells too

Also if Ben were too go in the water

He's a fucking shark magnet with all that blood-

But don't tell him that, he won't come back too the beach

Ticci Toby

Toby is very excited too go to the beach

He didn't get out much as a kid

Siked as hell too get in the water

Drops his stuff off as soon as possible and runs right into the water

And thats when he realizes he can't fucking swim

Awkwardly flaps his arms around until a wave moves him along too back where he can stand

Everyones kinda confused when he comes back like "?? You were so excited, what happened?"

"I can't swim :(("

Cody volunteers to teach him right away, like the great brother he is

The thing is Cody is a horrible fucking teacher

Another few minutes of Toby getting owned by some waves and Cody just screaming stuff like

"Use your arms Toby- no not like that how I showed you- no I'm not going too help how are you supposed to learn-"

That's when Kate drags him back too shore and Doby and Brian teach him instead

In a bit he learns and ends up having a lot of fun

I feel like Toby would really like boogie boarding?

A lot easier then surfing but still a good time

Also they have too tie a red scarf around his arm so they don't loose his ass in a crowd, or in the water

Third Base

so far, Doby's the only one on this list who actually came prepared

I feel like he'd use one of those face lotions that has SPF 30 in it already?

Smart enough so he doesn't have too smear sun screen around his face, can just use the spray stuff and get going

Also has shoes and sunglasses too go with each like swimsuit/outfit he brings

Mans is put together

Really likes collecting shells and stuff

Walks with Sally, shows her how too find them

Wakes up kinda early as it is? So its easy for him too go too the beach early and find the shells before the tide pulls them back out

It's one of his favorite times, actually

The suns just rising, a few shops are opening, only a handful of people are on the beach

Does it everyday as his "alone time" before everyone else wakes up

Spends most of his time with everyone kinda relaxing?

I can see him really liking those beach volleyball games

Or just playing frizbee in the shallow water!

Really, really enjoys making sand castles

Builds a moat and everything so it stays up when the waves start coming closer

X-Virus

Cody, another kid who never got much beach expierence

But acts like he did

Buys one of those waterproof, phone lanyard things

Forgets too fucking close it properly

Doesn't have the first idea of what seagulls are like

"Oh come on buys its fine-" gets fucking owned for his cheesestick

Lowkey scared of them after that

Refuses too eat on the beach after that

Sits with ben under the board walk and curls around his chips

Spends most of his time in the water

Wants too see how far he can go before the lifegaurd calls him back

Finds it funny as shit too just slowly go deeper while grinning at them

Until a wave slaps him in the back of the head

And then he gets scared of the deepwater too

After he looses Swimming Coach privellages gets really fucking salty and sulks on the beach

Kate takes pity on him and walks around the boardwalk with him

But he also didn't know you have too reapply sunscreen after you go swimming

Gets really really bad sunburn

Jeff, Ben and Toby take turns slapping it whenever he gets too cocky

Masky

This is gonna be a Dad Tim one, fight me

Really has no idea what the fuck is going on, but still manages too keep everyone together?

Tells the same story, atleast twice a day, about the killer wave that almost took his shorts off

Gets in fights with seagulls whenever they get realitively close too the group

Also buys one of those crappy beach wagon things too put their stuff in

Buys a mug and cheesy beer koozie

Doesn't enjoy the beach that much but gets excited too go?

Ends up sitting down for most of the time unless he gets dragged on walks

Might just kinda walk until the water is at his knees and just kinda stand there, and nod a little

Giving mother nature his approval

He takes Sally out and holds onto her stomach, lifts her up over the waves whenever they come

Asks her what she can see, before he drops her back down

Tries it with Ben, gets kicked in the gut-

Favorite time is when it's dark and they go

Not for a long time, just a few minutes too walk along the shore before it gets dark

Hoodie

Designated photographer

Is supposed too be taking photos but mostly gets footage of the stupid shit that happens

Like Jeff not being able too figure out the dishwasher or Clockwork wrestling with her dresser where only half the drawers worked

Just kinda sits back and watches things go up in flames

He's the designated like playlist guy too? On the drive over, whenever he got bored just

"Hey what song should I play?"

And watches chaos ensue

His vacation is watching everyone else have a bad time

Makes up for it though, saves them a shit ton of money by making dinner every night.

I feel like he genuinely enjoys late nights on the beach, like Tim

Gets some beautiful photos of the water, and people taking walks that he's pretty damn proud of

Maybe once or twice he'll join Doby for a walk too get pictures of the rising sun

Likes getting small things from the gift shops

Shark teeth, maybe a cheesy snowglobe

Something silly but nice too remember the trip by

Eyeless Jack

first things first, ya know those double-lens glasses? Like you flip up the sunglass part and theres normal lenses underneath? Someone gave him those

But their are crappy eyes painted on the normal lenses

He's very confused but its just ridiculous enough for him too like

The beach isn't his favorite place, I HC him as nocturnal and most things are open during the day

He takes too the rides and crappy carnival games that are open late at night

He can't see everything super well but makes up fun things for himself

Enjoys going on rollercoasters that he has no idea what the hell the drops look like

Fucking hates bumper cars

Can't tell where everyone's coming from or when

More nerve racking then fun

Whenever they go to the beach beach he just kind of chills

Akwardly curls up on a towel because he's big as shit

Where ever they stay he walks around, uses his echo location shit too find out all its quirks

"This walls more hallow then that one- those support beams in the lobby are doing a very shitty job of keep things together"

Loves sitting out on the balcony and just smelling the salt air, listening too people laughing and the ocean waves

Just the small details a lot of people miss

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homoose · 3 years

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Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part IV

Summary: The Halloween parade. Will and JJ are adorable. Anita suggests that Spencer become a classroom volunteer. Reader has a rough week.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, a smidge of angst

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 4.4k

a/n: I wish we’d seen more of Will and JJ as parents because I imagine it would be adorable and hilarious. Let’s see if you can guess all of their costumes before the reveal lmao. Your only clue is that Spencer loves keeping with a theme and the brown vest (I literally learned how to make my own shitty gif bc I couldn’t find the right one in the search and I do not understand embedding lmao) makes an appearance.

Series Masterlist

———

“Did you grab the bags?” JJ swept the pleated, platinum braid out of her face as she bent over to zip up her boots.

“No, I thought you did,” Will called, bouncing down the stairs.

“I put them in the car already,” Spencer informed them, popping his head back in the front door. “There was just the one box, right?”

“Yeah, that was it,” Will confirmed. “Shit— where’s Michael’s sword?”

“Should be on the counter,” JJ huffed, standing up and adjusting the bodice of the blue dress.

“Got it.” Will came around the corner of the kitchen, patting his hips where his pockets would be— if he weren’t wearing an adult-sized onesie. “Keys?” Spencer held them up. “All right then, let’s get this show on the road.”

The trio headed to the waiting SUV, Spencer climbing into the backseat as Will and JJ got into the front. Will and JJ chattered on about dinner plans and schedules for the following week, and Spencer smoothed down the brown wool vest layered over his white linen shirt. He’d spent entirely too long putting together the costume over the last week (with a little help from Penelope). He’d scrapped the Spock getup he’d been working on since September— he could always wear that next year. But he’d only get one chance to attend the Room 105 Halloween parade, and once the idea had wormed its way into his brain, he had to make it happen.

“Spence?” JJ’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Would you be able to pick Michael up on Monday?”

He ran his hands down his thighs over the mint green cropped trousers. “Sure, as long as we don’t have a case.”

Will smirked at him in the rear view mirror. “How’s Ms. Y/L/N?”

“You’re about to see her yourself, so you can ask,” Spencer replied.

Will laughed, and JJ turned in her seat. “Whoa, coming in hot with the snark. You really do like her.”

Spencer fought and failed to keep the blush from rising, irritation at being teased blooming sharp inside his chest. He tried to shrug as nonchalantly as possible. “She’s a great teacher.”

“That’s not a no,” JJ noted, eyebrows raised.

“She’s Michael’s teacher,” Spencer said, like it meant something.

“Yeah, so?” Will shrugged his shoulders. “You’re his godfather. Technically, you’re not related, so it wouldn’t be breakin’ any rules.”

“Well, it’s not like that, so it doesn’t really matter,” Spencer insisted.

Will hummed and JJ turned back around in her seat. Spencer drummed his fingers on his knees and watched DC roll past through the SUV window. It really wasn’t like that. Y/N was just… very nice. A nice, beautiful, sweet, silly kindergarten teacher that he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how many books he read or coffees he drank or chess games he played.

Monday was the last day of his sabbatical, and he was even more relieved to be headed back than usual— grateful that he’d have something to occupy his mind other than her. Because his mind was, indeed, occupied. The way her smile beamed like the spotlight on a stage, illuminating whoever happened to be on the receiving end. The way her hands moved in unbound, buoyant illustrations of her thoughts. The way her laugh felt like the first warm sip of tea or the wrap of his favorite scarf. It was getting out of hand, to say the least.

Will pulled into the parking lot, and instantly Spencer’s palms began to sweat. He glanced at the headband on the seat beside him and felt the mortification clawing at his insides. The costume was ridiculous; he was ridiculous. He should have just worn the Spock outfit.

Maybe he could just wait in the car and pretend like he hadn’t been able to make it. Or he could just leave the headband in the car. But then he’d just be in mint green capris with a sweater vest and platform sandals, and she’d have absolutely no idea who he was supposed to be. Then he’d have to explain it, and it would be even worse.

Will parked the car, and he and JJ immediately stepped out. Spencer watched them near the hood of the SUV, enjoying a rare moment of co-parenting without work hovering right out of frame. Will pulled the hood of the onesie up and JJ laughed, brushing her hand over the brown fabric twigs sticking out of the top. He supposed that if Will Lamontagne, Jr. could strut his stuff in adult footie pajamas, his handmade costume was probably all right.

With one last resigned sigh, Spencer slid the headband on. He grabbed the box of Halloween treats, opened the door, and hauled himself out of the vehicle. He pushed the door closed and looked in the reflection of the window, adjusting the headband around his curls and blowing out a breath.

“Ready?” JJ called, peering around the side of the SUV.

“Yeah—yeah,” Spencer agreed. He moved around the vehicle to join them, the three of them walking to find a spot in the crowd of parents standing around the carpool loop.

When they found a suitable spot, Will looked up at him and shook his head. The sandals added three extra inches to Spencer’s height, putting him a good six inches taller than Will. “Those shoes make you look like an actual giant,” Will chuckled. “I know that’s the point, but I feel like even more of a shrimp next to ya now.”

Spencer set the box of candy bags on the ground and would have shoved his hands into his pockets if the linen trousers had any. Before he could respond, JJ pointed to the door of the school, cooing, “Oh my god, look. Remember when the boys were that small?”

The PreK classes came out first, and Spencer could acknowledge that they were very cute, barely out of the toddler stage and holding hands with a line buddy. But he was waiting on a very specific cutie.

He’d barely had the thought when the kindergarten classes started to emerge from the door. He almost didn’t recognize her at first— just an orange blob and green shrubbery. But the converse gave her away.

“How is she so cute?” JJ threaded her arm through Will’s. “Even when she’s dressed as a giant orange blob.”

“It’s a gift,” Will agreed. He glanced up at Spencer. “Right, doc?”

Spencer nodded but didn’t take his eyes off Y/N. “I think so, yeah.” Will grinned and bumped JJ’s shoulder, but Spencer barely even registered his own response.

Thankfully they’d picked a spot near the very end of the loop, so he had plenty of time to get himself together before she was in front of him. While Will and JJ waved at all the tiny superheroes and princesses, he watched Y/N. She was all orange fabric from her shoulders to her knees, with bright orange Chucks to match. On her head was a strange variation on a party hat, bright green ferns sprouting from the tip of the cone and falling into her face. She looked absolutely ridiculous and entirely adorable, and he was in so much trouble.

When the class finally approached the final curve of the loop, Will nudged Spencer and gestured to the box of goodie bags. Spencer crouched down and lifted the box, standing back up to see Y/N laughing at Will and JJ. “Very cute, Lamontagne Family.”

Her gaze traveled across, then up, and then her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. Spencer wondered if maybe the earth could just open up and swallow him whole.

“Oh my god, are you—?” She stepped forward and ran her hand lightly over the vest, and he didn’t dare breathe. “Are you the BFG?!” Her hand dropped from his torso, and he didn’t have time to be disappointed before her face split into quite possibly the biggest smile he’d seen from her yet.

A tiny Superman shouted, “Ms. Y/L/N, we’re making a gap!”

Y/N came back to herself, gesturing to all three of them. “Don’t go anywhere.” She accepted the offered box of treats from Spencer and then turned to help her class catch up.

Will gave him a look. “It’s not like that, huh?”

“Oh my god, she likes you.” JJ clapped her hands together. “This is amazing.”

“I’m takin’ credit for this,” Will bragged. “I’m a regular ol’ matchmaker.”

Spencer couldn’t even be bothered to attempt a denial. He was still thinking about the feel of her palm on his chest, how it might feel to hold her hand, the way her eyes practically sparkled when she saw his ridiculous headband. He was in so much trouble.

Fifteen minutes later, the classes filed back out into the parking lot for dismissal. Y/N led the class down the sidewalk, grinning at the excitement coursing through her line. As they approached the end of the loop, Y/N caught sight of them and waved. The kids lined up in their normal spot, chatting excitedly about their costumes and candy bags.

“Lord, Ms. Y/L/N, you’re something else,” Will laughed.

“Is it not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen?” She laughed and tapped the green shrubbery hanging in her face. “I have the kids do a little persuasive writing thing every year. They draw a picture and write a sentence about what they think Ms. Y/L/N should be for Halloween, and then we take a vote.”

She waved her hands in that way Spencer loved, the way that was so similar to his own. “Usually the options are pretty tame, you know—ghost, witch, bumblebee. This year was a near tie between runner-up Jojo Siwa and well,” she gestured at herself, “carrot.” Y/N cackled, and the leaves on top of her head shook with the action.

They all laughed along with her, and then JJ added, “The details are truly incredible. Is this an actual plant on your head?”

“I really thought about it,” Y/N laughed, “but no, it’s just fake ferns stuffed into a cardstock funnel.” She gestured at Will and JJ. “But also, excuse me— this family costume is ridiculously cute. Mr. Lamontagne, loving this onesie. Mrs. Jareau, I didn’t even know it was possible to look prettier than you usually do, but here you are. And Michael’s Anna costume?” She held her hands up. “Incredible. Show stopping. I wish I had an aunt Penelope to enlist the help of, because that cape is the actual height of fashion.”

“She helped Spence, too,” JJ prompted, stealing a glance in his direction.

“Oh yeah?” Y/N asked, turning to smile at Spencer.

“We um, 3D printed the ears,” he clarified.

“No way!” She took a step closer to him, peering up at the detail on the headband. He leaned down a little for her to get a closer look. “That is so cool. I’ve never actually seen anything 3D printed up close before— did you design them yourself?”

She met his eyes briefly, and he realized how close they were— close enough that he caught the faintest whiff of sandalwood and cardamom. Of course she even smelled like warmth and home. “Well. I, um— I drew a sort of sketch, I guess. And then Penelope did the software coding. I— I’m not very good with technology, honestly.”

She ran her fingers lightly over the plastic, and he decided she was really trying to kill him. “Yeah, I’m not sure I really understand how it works.”

“Well, first you create a blueprint file of the design you want to print, which you can do through modeling software or three-dimensional scanning. Then you convert the file into an STL file— named for Stereolithography which was the first ever 3D printing process. The STL file is made up of triangular mesh polygons, which is the data that describes the surface of a three-dimensional object. After that, you use a software program to complete the process of slicing— essentially dividing or chopping the 3D model into hundreds or thousands of horizontal layers that the printer can print one at a time to create the 3D object. And then the printer prints each layer until you have your finished product.”

Y/N was quiet, and he pulled back to see her grinning at him. “I thought you said you weren’t very good with technology?”

“I’m not good with using technology,” he clarified.

She nodded. “Gotcha. So you just know everything about it.”

Her joking tone had a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I read a lot.”

“How much is a lot?”

“I can read at a rate of 20,000 words per minute, so… a lot.”

Her eyebrows shot up into the tangle of ferns on her head, and he was just so overwhelmed by how adorable she was. “Well, if I ever have a question about anything, I know who I’m coming to.”

He was sure he was blushing, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. “I’m happy to answer any and all of your questions.”

She let her gaze travel over the rest of the costume. “Oh my god, the sandals! Man, you really nailed it. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I thought about being Trunchbull, but I couldn’t find the sweatshirt,” he joked.

She laughed, and he wanted to bottle it up to keep forever. “As much as I would have loved to see your hair in a bun… you’re much too sweet to have been able to pull that off.” She smiled softly at him. “Much more suited to our friend the BFG.”

He rubbed a hand down the back of his neck, and it was only then that he realized Will and JJ had gone to the car. He looked back to Y/N, opening his mouth but unsure of what he was going to say.

“Y/L/N!” He turned his head to see Anita jogging toward them. “Did you—” The giant cardboard box she was wearing knocked into one of the few kindergarteners left in Y/N’s line, nearly sending them to the ground. “Oh my gosh, sorry sweetheart!” She righted the startled child, and Spencer gave her a once over, completely at a loss as to what her costume could be.

“What in the world are you supposed to be?” Y/N asked, choking out a laugh.

Anita looked at her deadpan. “A monopoly piece. Remind me that I’m never participating in team costumes ever again.” She rolled her eyes and gestured at Y/N. “Next year I’m gonna wear an orange t-shirt, call myself a carrot, and be much more comfortable.”

“I’ll have you know this costume was a lot of work,” Y/N remarked, crossing her arms.

“I’m sure it was. You could have put on an orange dress, stuck a green pipe cleaner in your hair, and called it a day, but that’s not the Y/L/N way.” Anita’s eyes slid across to where Spencer stood. “Well, hello, doctor. I have absolutely no idea what you’re supposed to be, but I love everything about it.”

“Spencer’s the BFG,” Y/N said, and Spencer could have sworn she sounded almost proud.

“Ah, Roald Dahl, of course.” Anita smirked. “I see you, Spencer. I see you.” She put her hands on her hips— or rather where her hips would have been if they weren’t covered by a ridiculously large box. “So, when are you going to volunteer?”

“Sorry?” he asked.

“Like, when are you going to volunteer in Y/L/N’s classroom?” She held up her hand, palm down, and made a circular motion between the two of them. “You know, hang out, but professionally.”

“Oh my god, did you need something?” Y/N’s squeaked, eyes wide.

Anita ignored her. “You just have to do a background check, but I’m sure you’ll pass it.”

“Lopez,” Y/N said, staring her down. “Do you need something?”

“Oh, I was just going to ask if you got the email about the PD after school on Tuesday. But this was much more fun.” She winked at Spencer. “Bye, Spencer.”

They both stared after her as she nearly skipped across the grass to the building. Y/N turned to him. “I’m— so sorry.”

He met her eyes and took the leap. “Volunteering could be fun.”

He watched her press her lips together to contain her smile. “It could be.”

He didn’t bother containing his own. “I’ll um— I’ll shoot you an email.”

“I’ll respond to your email.”

…

When he walked in the door, Spencer made a beeline for his desk. He opened his laptop and pulled up his email account, writing as fast as his one-finger typing would allow.

Spencer Reid Re: Volunteering

Hi!

I’m just following up about volunteering. Anita mentioned a form that I needed to fill out? Now that I’ll be back to work, I’ll just need to plan around the BAU schedule. Could you give me a list of days that would work for you?

Really looking forward to seeing you in action.

Spencer

He checked his two other email messages, and then left the browser up while he thumbed through his most recent reading material.

He sat at his desk for the remainder of the afternoon, distractedly perusing his book and glancing at his empty inbox every minute or so. His gaze flew up to the screen at the ding of a new message at 6:30, only to find a promotional email from one of his favorite indie bookstores.

He closed his laptop with a sigh. It was a Friday night. Y/N probably just didn’t check her email on the weekend. He could wait until Monday. He’d see her on Monday.

He limited himself to checking his laptop twice a day on Saturday and Sunday. When Monday rolled around, he checked it in the morning. He leaned back against the leather of his chair, staring at the empty inbox. He had some errands to run, and for the first time in his life, he wished he had a phone that had email on it.

He ran his last-day-of-sabbatical errands and stopped in at his favorite coffee shop for most likely the last midday, sit-down coffee he’d have for a while. Before he realized, it was 2:30. He brought his empty mug to the counter and waved to the barista. Then he walked to the car and prepped his conversation starters.

“Did you get my email? I sent you an email, just wondering if you saw it? Hey— Hello— Hi, I wasn’t sure if you got my email.” He blew out a breath. “Hi. How are you?” He waved his hand. “I’m great. Did you get my email?” He laughed into the empty car. “Ridiculous, Spencer. You’re ridiculous.”

When he pulled into the parking lot, his heart was racing and his palms were slipping against the steering wheel. He pulled around the loop, looking with a furrowed brow at the area where Y/N should be. In her place was a short woman with cropped grey hair. She held a clipboard and looked generally overwhelmed.

Michael sprinted to the car as soon as he saw it. He pulled open the door and let out a world weary sigh. Spencer turned in his seat. “Everything all right?”

“No, everything is terrible,” he huffed dramatically. “Ms. Y/L/N was sick today. Mrs. Franklin was our substitute, and she smells weird.”

Spencer looked through the window at Mrs. Franklin, struggling to keep a few rowdy boys in the line. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m sure Ms. Y/L/N will be back soon.” He was secretly relieved that he had a potential explanation for the unanswered email.

“I can’t take another day of Mrs. Franklin,” Michael sighed, buckling his seatbelt. “I hope Ms. Y/L/N’s back tomorrow.”

Spencer let out a breath and pulled away from the curb. “Me, too.”

…

JJ huffed out a breath, glaring at the stack of paperwork in front of her. Spencer was nose deep in a book, but he glanced up at the sound. “I can take a few of those if you want,” he offered.

“No, it’s fine,” she sighed. “I’ve really only got six left.”

He looked at his watch. “Each report takes you approximately 37 minutes. With eight minute breaks in between, you’re not going to be out of here until almost 6:00.”

JJ laughed. “I can’t believe I missed out on these scathing performance reviews for thirty days.”

“Suit yourself.” Spencer dropped his gaze back to his reading.

His first week back from sabbatical had been uneventful to say the least. The team had just wrapped a local case, and they’d spent the better part of the week going over consultations and potentials. It was finally Friday, and Spencer was finished with his stack of backlogged reports.

He was finishing the last chapter of the book when JJ dropped a string of quiet curses. He continued reading, waiting for her to ask. She was quiet for another minute.

“I forgot I’m on duty to pick Michael up today.” Spencer looked up at her, slight panic coming over him.

“I really don’t mind finishing your reports,” he offered.

JJ raised her eyebrows. “What, no offering to visit Ms. Y/L/N?”

Spencer closed his book. “I, um. I sent her an email a week ago, and she hasn’t responded.”

“So?”

“So…” Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “That’s weird, right?”

JJ laughed. “You don’t really use email, so I’d imagine your inbox is pretty orderly. But if you use it a lot, it can be easy for messages to get lost.” She looked at him pointedly. “I can almost guarantee that she’s not ignoring you, Spence.”

He sighed. “I guess there’s a quick way to find out.”

...

Spencer drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching the door of the school. He glanced at the clock, noting the class was later than they’d ever been. Without really understanding why, he pulled out of the loop and swung back around to park in the lot. He exited the car, and as he rounded the hood, he spotted them.

Y/N was at the front of the line, hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket and mouth pressed into a thin line. The line behind her was unlike he’d ever seen it. No waving arms, no smiles, no giggles. Twenty small bodies followed behind her with absolute and total solemnity, and he felt uncomfortable just watching them. It would have almost been funny if it wasn’t so dramatically out of character.

The line weaved around the more rambunctious classes, maintaining their grave expressions and quiet pace. They reached their spot on the sidewalk, and Y/N didn’t even have to say anything. Spencer watched as the line took their spots behind her. She held one hand up to acknowledge parents as they pulled up, murmuring stoic goodbyes to students as they headed to their vehicles.

He hung back at the hood of the car until the majority of the class was gone, slowly making his way across the parking lot. Y/N’s line of sight was pointed in his direction, but her eyes were unfocused in the afternoon sun. He could see the moment that she registered his presence, her eyes widening slightly and bottom lip releasing from the place she’d been absentmindedly chewing. She shifted her weight as he closed the final few feet between them.

“Hi.” She held a silent hand up in greeting. He clenched and unclenched his fingers. “Rough day?”

“It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, despite what everyone thinks,” she snapped. She blew out a breath and rolled her eyes up to the perfectly blue sky, mocking her mood. “I’m sorry. Yes, it was a rough day.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“You don’t deserve my wrath.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the students. “They didn’t either, but— too late for that.”

He watched as she lowered her head back down, rubbing a hand over her face. He desperately wanted to slay whatever dragons had given her normally brilliant eyes such a grey cast. “You have strong relationships with them, and kids are resilient. I’m sure they know you—”

“Please— don’t.” Her voice was thick, and she looked at him with desperate eyes. “I— I appreciate the thought, but I’m— I’m a frustrated crier.” Her shining irises proved her point. “And I’m just— I’m really just trying to keep it together for the last four minutes of my contract time.” Her words were practically a whisper, and she swallowed thickly and glanced down the line, just Michael and one classmate left, eyes downcast.

“I understand.” Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from reaching out and touching her. “I’m sorry. I— I hope your weekend is better than today.”

Michael slowly left the line, murmuring a quiet goodbye to Y/N. Spencer put a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward the car, stealing one last glance at a crushed Y/N.

...

Y/N Y/L/N

Re: Re: Volunteering

Hi,

I meant to respond to this email, and then a bunch of things happened, and then I was out all week.

I don’t know if you even still want to volunteer after this afternoon, but it felt rude to not respond at all.

I’ve attached the background check form to this email in case you’re still interested.

Y/N

1 Attachment: Background Check

—

Hi,

I meant what I said this afternoon. Your students love you, and they know you love them. If my conversation with Michael in the car was any indication, they’re feeling rightfully embarrassed and guilty about their behavior while you were out.

Regardless of what happened today, your relationships with your students are strong enough that they will come to school tomorrow knowing that you still care about them. Children don’t hold onto things nearly as much as adults.

It would be a privilege to volunteer in your classroom, even on the worst day.

Spencer

1 Attachment: Background Check - Spencer Reid

—

If I wasn’t already crying, I would be now.

Thanks for that.

No sarcasm intended. Really. Thank you.

—

This might be inappropriate, and if it is, please just pretend like this email doesn’t exist.

I have a favorite cafe in the DuPont circle area, Soho Tea & Coffee. They have an excellent tea drink made with honey and milk that I like to order whenever I’ve had a particularly difficult day.

If you’re up for it, it’s on me.

———

Tags: @spacedikut @uhuhuh @itsametaphorbriansblog @90spumkin @blameitonthenight21 @magenta145 @annesauriol @watermelongubler @ampal98 @rainsong01 @meowiemari @mrsmyaweasley @mggsprettygirl @ceeellewrites @coffeeandendlesswords @daybabyx @joalsglasses @chevyimpala00067 @misshale21 @sapphic-prentiss @danifaithkae @saspencereid @heyitssomegirl101

Permanent tags: @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855

#spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds self insert #homoose writes #TMSIDK

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ace-trainer-risu · 3 years

Note

oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

#things you didn't care to know about veronica #book recs #disastershy #i'm sorry it took me so long to answer! it's just been burning in my inbox for weeks and only today #did i have the courage and strength of will to get to it!#jk i just felt like doing it now :)#thanks if you read the whole thing!!!!!

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baecvlt · 3 years

Text

Better Late than Never

in which the reader was set up on a blind date by Sonia Nevermind with Kazuichi Soda

• Kazuichi Soda x Reader

• fluff

• fem reader

• original idea <33

BTW YALL this might sound accidentally self insert-ish but that’s because I gave the character interests (since this is a date fic) but I dont know anything else to put for them. anyway enjoy still.

“So, there’s no one there?”

I glared at her, death staring into her clear, blue eyes. “What the fuck is ‘there’?”. She sighed and lightly hit my arm. “I’m asking you if you have a crush, silly!,” she spat, yet her tone remained friendly. I shook my head. “I don’t find any of these people attractive, Sonia”.

“So you wouldn’t go out witj a classmate?”

“No, Sonia”

She stays silent, suddenly darting her eyes at Hajime. “How about him,” she asked,“Hagime seems like a nice guy”. I shrugged. “Not my cup of tea, really”. She then points at Teruteru,“And him?”. I looked at Teruteru, who was already gawking me. “God, no, Sonia,” I gagged,“Too perverted for my liking”. She then began listing names. Here is what I had to say for all of them.

Hajime: Boring

Nekomaru: LOUD

Fuyuhiko: Mean and short

Nagito: Psycho!

Eventually, she gave up. I didnt feel any way of them, who’s to know how I feel about anyone else at this school? “Fine,” she said, but her eyes lit up,“Oo! How about-”.

“Oof!”

He had bumped into me, knowing me to the floor. Kazuichi Soda: the Ultimate Mechanic. “Yeah, him!,” Sonia said. I looked at Kazuichi, disgust on my face. “Not in a million years”. “Huh?” (Kazuichi was madly confused). Sonia grumbled,“What’s wrong with him?”.

“What isn’t there wrong with him? He also doesn’t bathe!”

“Ouch, I bathe,” he said. “Why were you in such a rush anyway?,” I asked. He shrugged, but eventually sighed and revealed his reason. “I got excited,” he said softly. Sonia and I were confused.

“I just got updated on my— something. I��m going to the office to see what they have to tell me about this thing I’m in the middle of”

I was confused, but I had to know now. “Anyway, I’m sorry,” he said, walking right past us. I stood there, but Sonia got my attention. “Come on, we’re gonna be late to Economics”. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to class. When we got there, everybody was huddled up. There was something they were being discreet about. “Hello, friends,” Sonia said,“What are we talking about?”. “Kazuichi,” Ibuki said without the slightest hesitation.

Okay, maybe not that discreet.

“What’s wrong with him?,” I asked,“Besides all that, I mean”. “Cut him some slack,” Hajime said, now I knew the situation was a little more sensitive than I thought. Sonia and I both got our chair to listen. Hajime sighed,“This morning, I woke up and went to get Kazuichi for class. He wasn’t in his room. Later that day, I went go check on him and he was in his room, but when I opened the door, his eyes were just read and tired. I asked him is all was well, he only nodded and smiled. It took a while, but he still told me he was okay, now adding in the detail that the board had gotten back to him on his request to be transferred elsewhere”. My mouth dropped slightly. “Transferred where?,” I asked, Hajime only shrugged.

“This is all Sonia’s fault!”

We looked at Hioyoko, Sonia quick in defending herself. “He wouldn’t transfer schools because of me, it’s probably all your fault,” she was defensive,“Maybe if you weren’t so mean to him all the time—”. Suddenly, arguing broke out. I heard many things. Hajime said he hasn’t shown interest in her lately, Sonia seeming slightly offended. Gundham was blamed, Ibuki wasn’t being blamed (she was never cold with him). Suddenly, Mikan spoke out. “Wait!”. She yelled, so we were quiet. Surprised by her tone, it made us all shut up. “What if it’s all our faults?,” she suggested,“Y-You didn’t have to be cold to him. Who else besides Ibuki or Hajime spoke to him without immediately judging character?”. It made me think, but suddenly Fuyuhiko spoke. “Fuck that!,” he said,“The dude probably wasn’t enough to be here so they dropped him. He was also probably too embarrassed to say that. And the eyes? Please! They were red because he might be some type of pothead; high out of his mind!”. “That’s a really shitty thing to say,” Hiyoko said,“Even *I* know that’s harsh”.

“I don’t give a fuck; Its true”

Hajime shook his head,“I’m gonna agree with Mikan”. “Wait isn’t it like extremely hard to transfer from this school?”. “No, not quite,” Chiaki said,“When given valid reason, the board can transfer a student elsewhere”. “If in fact the mistreatment of Kazuichi was the reason he sought transfer,” Peko added,“He probably went with ‘mental health concerns’. Since we’re all of age, he wouldn’t need to run it by a parent or guardian, making it much easier for him to transfer”. There was silence. “So what now?,” I ask. Hajime had a quick answer,“We treat him better”. “Is it not too late?”. Peko shook her head.

“If Kazuichi really went to simply be spoken about the appeal, students are given three days to make their final decision. Afterwards, there is no going back since students are allowed an appeal once”

We all still sat there. Were some of us actually cold towards him? I mean, everyone else in the academy didn’t even acknowledge him (neither did some of us, but we were around more, right?). “Alright, studebts, to your seats now!”. The professor being there had us scurrying away from Hajime’s desk. Throughout the whole class, I couldn’t focus. I kept thinking of Kazuichi, but why? Why did I care about him leaving so much?

The bell rang, Sonia waited for me. Econimics was our last class every Thrusday. The minute I was within her reach, she continued the conversation from earlier today. “So, I was thinking: you can’t talk to boys for shit,” she said. “And?”.

“What if I set you up on a blind. date.— huh? How about that?”

I sneered. Blind dates—they were such a tacky idea to me, what the fuck, but this was Sonia. She always new what was best for me when it came to, well, everything. Plus, it might be fun, or funny?

“Oh, what the hell. I’ll give it a try”

Sonia smiled so hard, her eyes shut. She squealed. “I cant wait,” she said,“I promise, this’ll be good for you. Just you wait!”. She kissed me on the cheek, leaving me behind. “Wait— we aren’t going home together?,” I asked. She shook her head. “I have some things to take care of! See you tomorrow, love”. She hurries her way. That girl. I’ll never understand her…

“Hey, how’s it going? … Nice … Well, now that you ask, I was wondering if you were open to a blind date? … Splendid! Friday, agree to meet with this girl, here’s her number … Let’s make things more interesting … Don’t tell her your name … Yes, you do know her”

I got home, setting my book bag down and practically collapsing onto my mattress. What a day. Before I got in thought about all that I was told today, as if on cue, my phone rang. It was a message, one from a number I had never seen before.

???: Hi :)

I was friendly, I didn’t have to be.

Me: Hello :)

As if a second cue went off, Sonia texts me.

Sonia: Has your blind date messaged you? btw make up a name! dont reveal anything !

Me: OH okok

I return back to the unknown sender.

Me: sonia put you up to this ?

???: yes, ma’am (or sir, or i have no clue. sonia said you were a girl. sorry)

Me: hey dont worry, sonia said she was setting me up with a guy, so i assumed too. i am a girl and being called ma’am doesn’t bother me.

???: well you assumed correctly, but thank you for letting me know, ma’am i get unsure.

???: anyway, what’s ur name?

I thought of a good, normal name, but nothing occurred to me. I looked all around my room for an object. Suddenly, my eyes landed on the family camera I had left in my room whenI used it for a project.

Me: my name is cam, hbu

???: Zero

Me: Is that really your name?

Zero: no but it makes sense to me

Me: wdym?

Zero: itd just me i guess

Me: ur gonna make me sad booo

Zero: oops, sorry !

Me: lol Its fine. but seriously, I know there is someone who cares about you. if anything Is wrong. you can talk to me, even if our date friday goes to shit :)

Zero: Yeahyesh thanks for that, Cam. its just my friends, i dont feel seen by them and it just feels like my parents have followed me.

Me: Well, they probably really love you. if it helps, I care about you :))

Zero: you’re very kind

Me: aw noooo. anyway, how was your day?

Zero: it coulda been better. yours?

Me: yeaaaa same here

Zero: what’s wrong?

Me: found something out ab a friend of mine.

Zero: is everything okay?

Me: Yea it all should be if I can fix things with him

Zero: you must really care ab him

Me: yea i really do

“Zero” decided it’d be best to change the subject since he figured it was slightly depressive (which it was). From the time I got home (4am) to 12am, we talked. I was excited because for once in my life, I was speaking to someone who liked the things I did. The same movies, the same bands. He listened to a lot of new wave and indie rock. Eventually, I got sleepy, so we called it a night. He called me cute and let me go to bed.

I actually looked forward to our date Friday. I didn’t care who he was, for he was perfect.

Morning came around and I just wanted to talk to him. In fact that’s all I did. We texted in homeroom, Theater, Calculus, etc. It was Friday today, meaning we’d have to meet today after school, thus revealing ourselves. Sonia and I were in calculus and she noticed I wouldn’t put my phone down. “God, someone’s obsessed,” she teased. “He means everything to me,” I said, breaking no eye contact with my screen. Sonia went to Kazuichi, who I have class with for Calculus, Government and Chem (which we both failed last year). I couldn’t care to break my focus on my screen, but I did head him mutter “she’s perfect”. So Kazuichi found someone else? That’s fine, but will she care enough to stop him from transferring? Could be be transferring for her?!

As the day grew the situation began getting fucking dire.

I was headed to my final class, chemistry. I had my phone in hand, texting away and very distracted. Suddenly, just like yesterday: “Oof!”. I was on the floor and above me? Kazuichi Soda. “I’m sorry, oh my god,” he said as he helped me up. I shook my head. “Nono, this time it’s my fault,” I said, dusting myself off,“I wasn’t paying attention”.

“I was also very distracted, heh”

I smiled, picking his phone up from the ground. His screen turned on, exposing that he had been listening to music. “Cocteau Twins”. I handed him his phone. “You like them,” I asked. He nodded,“Do you?”.

“Yeah, I do”

“Cool... where are you headed?”

“Chem”

“Why so early? There’s a whole hour and a half till we have to be there, plus the 5 minute tardy bell”

“I like being early. Where were you going?”

“My room,” he said,“I can’t find my chemistry journal, so I figured I should look for it before class”. “In your room?”. He nodded. For some sick and weird reason, I felt bad leaving him to do that on his own. “I can help you,” I blurted, almost instantly. His face lit up. “Really?!”. His overly joyed expression brought a smile out in me as well. “Yeah,” I answered softly. He grabbed my hand and ran with me up to his room, having me keep up with him. We got to his room as my heels skid slightly behind him. When opened the door and turned on the light, my jaw dropped.

His room was a complete and utter mess.

“Kazu- how is anything gonna get found in here?,” I asked, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible. “Its manageable,” he answered, entering and starting to look through all his junk,“I haven’t had the energy to clean my room anyway. It hasn’t really bothered me”. I shook my head as I walked in. “No, this isn’t right,” I said, an idea coming to mind,“Why don’t you lay there and rest up a little? I’ll clean your room”. His eyes lit up. “Really?”. I nodded, a warm smile creeping up on my lips. “Well, okay,” he answered,“Thank you, sweetheart”. I couldn’t even react to the pet name. His hat rested over his eyes as he quite literally fell asleep before my very eyes.

With that, I got to work.

Cleaning out his room, taught me a few things. He also happens to like the same films as I do, but he likes more action films. I also learned he has a much bigger wardrobe than I thought. Lastly, he isn’t as mess as I thought. He had everything one would need to clean, even owned a vacuum. It took me about 1 hour and 5 minutes to clean out. I hadn’t realized it was that long, time went by me like a breeze. I approached him and sat by him. In a pattern, I shook him carefully then played with his hot pink hair, which was softer than expected.

God, there’s something wrong with me.

He woke up and I removed the hat from over his eyes. He lay as he looked around, seeing his room uncluttered. “Wow, it’s like a brand new room,” he said happily. “Yep”. He sat up and smiled back at me. “Thank you,” he repeated.

“It’s nothing, really”

His voice was still groggy, I could tell he was a little dazed after his nap. He lay back and laughed to himself as we sat on his bed. “What?”. He shook his head as the lazy smile on his face grew slightly wider. “You’re really pretty”. I blushed a little, and laughed nervously. “Thanks”. He sat back up again, we both had no idea what to do now, but look at each other. It was a comfortable silence. I could forever into his oddly colored eyes.

I wanted him to kiss me, now.

I’ve truly lost my mind. I had no idea if it was just tension or anything but that. Would I like it or would I despise it. I decided to maybe test these waters, but before I could, he beat me to it. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my chin, pulling me to his lips. Kissing me skillfully, he lay back and I followed so I wouldn’t be away from him, leaving me straddling his lap. What a day to forget to wear shorts under my skirt. With how he kiss me and I kissed him, it was no secret we wanted this for a while now. The fact that I wanted this made my stomach knot. We pulled away, slightly winded. “That was so fucking hot”. I proceeded to tell him this never happened. He agreed it didn’t. Then he added:

“I’ve never done that before”

“Neither have I-”

Then, it hit me. Kazuichi was my first kiss.

“This must be a very shitty realization,” he said, laughing a little. “Shut up, let’s get to class”. He nodded, getting up from bed, seeing that his journal was on his now clean and visible desk. He picked it up and now we were ready to go. We were still early, despite distance and how crowded the halls were. We sat at our own table, usually we both sat alone since none of our friends had this class. We all knew each other, but we wouldn’t exactly call certain people friends. Anyway, during class, I was extremely bothered. I felt sick and I couldn’t stop thinking about that fucking kiss.

At all.

I really didn’t want him to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving. I had to stop it, but why did I want to anyway. Is this pity? It didn’t feel like it; I can tell when I pity someone and this didn’t feel like pity. Could it be that he’s always been there?

I’ve never fallen in love before, nor caught feelings. Something about him felt so familiar. What has Kazuichi done for me?

I began to think and it all came to me. The times I had no one else to talk to so he’d be there, whenever someone has bailed on me I’d go to him. I’ve taken him for granted, yet he’s smiled through it all. To think I’d hurt him made me feel worse. “God, I hate this class,” he whispered to me. I broke away from my thought. “Oh, me too,” I answered,“How are you doing, though?”.

“In this class?”

I nodded. “Terrible”.

I mouthed an “oh”. After a second, I offered a solution. “Well, you can always ask me for help,” I said. “Seriously?,” his eyes lit up like when we were in his room. God his crooked, toothy smile had me smiling, it was intoxicating. “Yeah, come to me anytime,” I said, getting quiet. This was quite awful. On top of that, I remembered I had a date after today. I didn’t even want whoever the fuck I had to meet with. As planned by Sonia, we were to meet at the bridge in between dorms on the third floor at 7pm (mind you, I don’t have a room in this school so there really is no reason for me to stay so late). Now that I think about it, it really sounds like more of a meetup than a date. Maybe it wasn’t so important for me to meet this mystery man. I can just text him I was no longer interested.

And that’s what I chose to do.

After class, I bumped into Sonia. She smiled widely when she saw me. “Oh my god, Are you excited for tonight?!”. Here I am, bursting her bubble.

“No”

Her smile went down slowly. “Why not?,” she asked. “I’m not going”.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T GOING?”

That was probably the loudest she’s ever spoken. “I mean, I don’t want to”. “But this was important, what the fuck,” she seemed too upset about it. “I don’t want him,” I said,“I’m into someone else”. “WHO?”. I swallowed before the name came out of my mouth,“Kazuichi...”.She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I know its emba-”.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M GONNA SAY, oh my god. You have to go still, don’t leave your blind date hanging, please. I’m begging you, please!”

I scoffed.

I nodded. “Fine, but I really cannot pretend to have a good time,” I said to her. Nodding frantically, she said she knows. Ultimately, it was my choice and she knew that. Sonia walked home with me, then said she would walk back with me when it came time to meet my blind date. She wanted be there for when he was revealed. I got a message from this man when I got home.

Zero: Hey, are you sure you want to meet?

I raised a brow and showed Sonia. She covered her mouth, but quickly told me to say yes. So that’s exactly what I did.

Me: Yeah

Zero: ok

“He isn’t into it,” I said, showing Sonia the messages. “He will be”. Damn, she was so dead set on this and for what? “Come on,” she said,“We should get going”. I nodded, getting up from the floor we sat on in my room. Locking up, we swiftly headed to the bridge.

It was dark by the time we got there.

“Hello?”

No answer. “Maybe wait a little,” Sonia suggested,“He gets shy”. I turned to her. “Do you know him?,” I asked. “Of course I do”. She must’ve misunderstood what I asked. “No, but do you know him know him,” I cleared up,“like is he close to any of us”. She nodded, now I was really curious. A couple minutes passed and he still wasn’t there. “See,” I said,“Fucking no-show!”. My hands clenched into a fist. Sonia was getting closer to me, looking as if she had some consoling words to say, but she stopped. Smiling, she backed away. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. She stepped away from me, nodding towards me, but that was just a signal for me to turn around. I heard a gasp,“You?”.

The familiarity of the voice—it all made sense now.

“You!,” I cried. My eyes watered as a smiling Kazuichi stood in front of me. I hugged him and I could tell he wasn’t expecting me. “God, I thought you’d hate me,” he sighed, relieved. I shook my head. “I’ll leave you to it,” Sonia said,“I have to go anyway; my ride’s here”. We waved her off, getting back to each other. “Wanna head into my room?”.

We headed into his room, snuck in, I’m not supposed to be here. He threw himself onto his bed as his hands made a gesture for me to get on. I straddled him like before and kissed him. “Someone’s excited,” he teased. I scoffed. “I’m not the only one”. His face turned red as he looked away. “Hey, Kazuichi? Can we talk”. He nodded, waiting for me to introduce the topic.

“Hajime and, well, everyone else including Sonia and myself were talking and—”

“Yeah?”

“That you’re leaving?”

“Oh... yeah. I am”

I frowned, getting off him, now sitting next to him. He looked upset now that he remembered. “It isn’t too late now, is it?”. He shook his read putting his hat on his bedside drawer (me thinks this is the first time I’ve seen him without a hat). “Tomorrow, I go confirm my decision,” he said,“I feel... miserable in Hope Peak. I don’t belong here”.

“Kazu...”

“You don’t know what it feels like not having anything in common with anyone. Everyone being so fucking distant”

“I do know how the first one feels, but... we have each other to relate to”

“I just hate how this school makes me feel and I want it to go away”

He shivered as his eyes began to water. It hurt so much to see him cry. I never have. “Baby, look at me,” I said to him,“We all love you, okay? I love you. I’m sorry for being so cold towards you this whole time. You were always there”. He stuck his head into my chest and just let everything go. I played with his hair as he got rid of emotion. I lay his head down and straddled him again. Quickly, I kissed all over his tear-stained face, the taste of salt persistent on my lips. The kisses got him riled up and giggly once again, making him tackle me. I fell back on the bed as he did the same to me. He smooched me on the lips before giving me his final word.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

I nodded, not pressuring him. I wanted him to be so sure about staying. I also wanted him to know that if he did stay, I would be there, always. “You need a ride home?”, he asked. I could have gone home, but I didn’t necessarily want to. “Aw, don’t you want me to stay?,” I pouted. The way I said it was so playful it almost felt like teasing. He blushed frantically answering,“Yeah, I do”. I then realized I didn’t have clothes to sleep in.

And no, sleeping in underwear could never be an option. (Not yet, at least)

“Damnit, I don’t have clothes”. That’s when he opened his drawer and threw some sweatpants at me. “You have a shirt under that one, correct?,” he asked. I nodded, unbuttoning my school shirt. it was a silk black undershirt, could be used as an undergarment or sleepwear. “Hey, I’m just gonna go out to the communal to wash up, okay?”.

“That’s fine, baby”

He smiled, heading off with his toothbrush and towel. Once the door shut, I with a I slid off my socks. I then stood up and took off my skirt. The clothing fit me kind of snug, but I didn’t mind. I lay back and waited for him patiently.

His shower was quick, well, in my opinion it was. His hair gave off a brisk scent, as he lay next to me. His eyes looked weak as he hug his face into my chest. It wasn’t in a weird way or anything, so I simply assumed he was tired. “Are you sleepy, yet?”. He nodded, his face in deeper. “I’m really sleepy,” he said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair like before and let him sleep. Watching how at ease he was in my embrace soothed me to rest. According to Hajime, he was usually a light sleeper. The slightest touch or noise would wake him up. He would shift around or mumble in his sleep. This time, it was different.

It was peaceful.

The next morning, I woke up and put on yesterday’s clothes. When I got to putting on my shoes, I felt him move behind me. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I said sweetly. “Good morning, angel,” he said, his voice straining as he stretched with a grunt,“Time?”.

“9:30”

He got up and threw on a pair of clothes that I have never seen him in. “You want a ride home?,” he asked,“I meet with the board today at 10. If I take you home now, I can make it back in good time”. I nodded, going hand in hand with him after he had put his shoes on.

I never knew Kazuichi drove. I recall him say he had terrible motion sickness, yet here he was driving me home in a borrowed car that had been worked on in the school’s auto shop class. I had nothing else to talk about and the silence was killing me. “So you can drive?”.

“I can drive”

“What about your motion sickness?”

He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s always been there, always will be,” he began to explain,“but I’ve learned to ignore it”. He put his arm around me, smiling. I smiled, yet I was terrified. What if I wasn’t enough to make him stay? As he drove, I noticed he had nothing in mind. With Kazuichi, you can always tell when there’s something on his mind. Always. He’ll squint, mouth some words to himself...that’s how you know. It began to overwhelm me and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry knowing there was possibly nothing I can say or do for him to stay. He may know I love him, but what if the timing was off?

Oh, well.

We arrived at my home, him walking me up to my doorstep. He kissed me, his smile dropping afterward. Fuck, he must’ve noticed... “Hey, is everything okay?”. I nodded. “Okay,” he said, uncertainty in his tone,“Well, text me if anything!”. I nodded, a faint smile on my face. I headed inside and lay in bed.

My memory of that Saturday and the Sunday that followed are fogged. I don’t remember leaving my room, let alone my house. Monday came around. I was nervous. I walked down the halls, Sonia standing and an expression of worry spread across her face. “Sonia,” I said,“What’s wrong?”. She gulped and I knew nothing positive would come out of this.

“Hajime hasn’t seen Kazuichi all day”

My eyes widened and I wanted to pass out. “No, that can’t be!”. I didn’t want to feel this. It was all guilt. Why, though? Everything seemed fine when we had last seen each other, it made no sense. “You haven’t talked to him?,” she asked. I shook my head. Sonia sighed. “Okay,” she began,“We have government today. Your only class with him. All we have to do is wait and then we’ll know for sure”. I nodded, trying not to let emotions get to me.

Now in government, I waited, We all did. None of us had heard a word from him. Soon enough, an hour passed: no Kazuichi. Tearful, my eyes shut as I placed my head on my table. Hajime walked up to me. “If its in any consolation at all,” he began,“Kazuichi really did like you. He loved you. I’m sure he knew you loved him”.

“Why the fuck do you make it sound like he’s dead?”

“I see how it would sound like so. I’m just gonna leave my words at that”

My eyes were burning and a headache began growing. Suddenly, there was pounding on thr door, pounding that startled the class. The teacher sighed. The knock was that of a late student, which obviously would’ve annoyed her considering this is a 65 minute class and it had been an hour or so. A student volunteered for the door and there stepped in a distressed Kazuichi.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TEXT ME?!?”

I sniffled and my heart was beating out of my chest when I heard his voice and saw his face. “Kazuichi?!”. I ran up to him and hugged him, he was tense. “I was so worried,” he said. “That makes two of us”. I kissed him, he asked if I was okay and I nodded so frantically. “I didn’t text because I was sad!”. He hugged me tighter, kissing my forehead. I looked into his eyes, falling in love. Then I had realized one thing. “Wait”. He looked at me,“What’s up?”.

“WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?!”

“I HAD AN EYE EXAM!”

He walked to the teacher and handed her a doctor’s note. “You know I can’t mark you present right?,” she said. “You can’t mark me absent either, miss”. Yeah, he wasn’t the best student here. He walked back up to me and kissed me. “There’s like 2 minutes left,” he said,“Can we leave?”.

“Just go”

Being a nuisance paid off as we were all let out early. He grabbed my book bag and ran with me, pulling me by the hand. He took me to the back of the school, yeah, the very back behind the gym. I sat in his lap as he kissed me once more harder, now that no one was watching. I then faced him. “I thought you were leaving,” I whined. He ran his hands through my hair. “I was going to,” he said,“but I couldn’t do that to you, or to myself”. We sat in silence till I said,“Who would’ve thought?”.

“Yeah, in a million years, huh? What year we in?”

“Shut up”

I kissed him and felt him smile against my lips. “Don’t change, Kazuichi”. “Don’t plan on it,” he said,“I love you”. “I love you too”.

#cheap commissions #commisionwork #fan fic commission #kazuichi souda #kazuichi x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi #kazuichi soda #kazuichi danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa

83 notes · View notes

kekisu · 3 years

Note

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights

#asks #dn #p5 #mp100 #devilman #long post #THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THIS ASK

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7wanderingpaws · 4 years

Text

He Loves Love (2/3)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: solo singer! AU

Word count: 7K

Warnings: slowburn, flirty Baek, ehm t-e-n-s-i-o-n

A/N: Finally the second part is here! I apologise if it took a bit longer, but darn, I just realised there is much more that needs to be told. I am so tired rn, I edited it but there still might be grammatical mistakes or typos, so I apologise in advance if it will interrupt your reading time :( I LOVED the feedback I received for the first part, so I really hope I didnt disappoint with this one. Please read the ending note! Enjoy! BTW: did you like the new album? I am having it on replay haha

Masterlist

1 <<<

You never thought you were a person deserving of a deep love or one capable of love. A weird sense of discomfort and impossible feeling overwhelming you was something you connected to that four-letter word. No matter how many times you had a crush (which was, unfortunately, rarely), the excitement wasn't enough for you to give you hope that you would be capable to love.

So when everything started with this famous singer, naturally you had doubts. You didn't want to get too much into detail about why you were feeling the way you were about relationships, but you definitely thought it is normal to think having a relationship with someone like him was ridiculous. He easily could have been playing with you. But you did not have relevant proof for this. Neither did you ever hear a single bad word about his reputation with women.

Just one date, he said. “I really want to take you on a date. A playdate?” he would raise his eyebrow, seducing you.

He didn't understand your point of view on the whole situation. But, what you did not know, was that he had figured you and your personality out, although you would let very little for him to read from your expressions. He admired how you maintained a professional attitude despite your racing pulse or your blown pupils. That, you could hardly control.

You sighed, looking at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn't stop your heart from beating so fast and so loud it was making you a bit dizzy… Let alone you couldn't eat a single thing the whole day because the idea that he was to pick you up at 11pm was making your insides so uneasy, needing to go to the bathroom every hour or, worse, making you almost vomit from the anticipation. He was so attractive, flirtatious, and you couldn't stop thinking about him ever since the shoot had finished. The second day of shooting was, when he asked you out. Very carefully, he formulated his question, but it was his voice, his deep eyes that told you just how much he meant it. And because you didn't have enough time, for he had to leave right after the shoot, you nodded in approval to which he rewarded you with the brightest smile, his eyes gorgeous half-moons, his cheeks puffed up just like he was smiling into the camera while he was being interviewed. Ever so carefully, he for your phone number, and when he saved it, he called you. Declining the call, you unlocked your phone to save his contact and that was when he muttered: “Please, don't lose your phone.”

“I won't save it under your name, that would be too obvious,” you replied quietly, feared of being overheard although you knew nobody would come to the storage room. Everyone was still cleaning up the set. But it was Baekhyun's team that was most probably looking for him by now.

He shook his head gently, making just a tiny step closer, suddenly his face not that far from your. “No,” he breathed, his eyes glinting, “but I will call you when I'm in front of yours. So don't lose it.”

You gave out a small chuckle, shaking your head at his cheesiness. “I cherish my phone, okay? Just like all the people these days. Don't worry, Baekhyun ssi.”

Pursing his lips, he said, before turning to leave: “Just Baekhyun, okay? For you, it's Baekhyun.”

And now, here you were. Waiting for - just Baekhyun - the singer.

You almost jumped out of your skin when your phone vibrated on the tiny table in your one-room apartment. Interesting how a usual vibration of a phone just meant a simple message or a phone call, usually not giving it any meaning. Now it gave you butterflies, another wave of nausea from all the anticipation and just pure bliss at the idea that he was the one giving you a call. Just like he promised, at exactly the time he said he would be there.

The entire time you were coming out of the basement (yes, your apartment was in a basement, having two small windows just under the ceiling) and out to the dark street was unreal. Those two minutes that it took you to leave your place and walk out felt like eternity because you were shaky and nervous from meeting him. There was also a possibility that after spending time with you tonight, you might never hear from him given that he might be disappointed in you, not quite what he thought you would be like.

You just hoped nobody would recognize his car or him…

Please, don't let anyone recognize him. Or they can recognize him and all, but please don't let them catch you with him, okay?

You quickly chided yourself for thinking such silly thoughts and just then you recognized his car. It was the only one with its motor on, quitely purring, the car just as black as the night, all shiny and so… just so Baekhyun. Which meant sexy. Could a car be sexy?

God.

You were going crazy.

Quickly making your way to the vehicle, you opened the door to the passenger seat and swiftly slid onto the leather seat, closing the door behind you with as much gentleness as you could, scared that it would probably just break.

You heard a gentle laugh from your left side and you finally turned to look at him, so mesmerized you couldn't stop the bewitched smile creeping onto your face as you took him in.

“I didn't pay so much money for this car for it to break if you close it roughly,” was what he said, but you could see his mind and gaze were quite unfocused as he let his eyes slide over your features that were ever so gently touched up with some make up. You were thankful he didn't eye you up hungrily like most men did, still a gentleman just like he was until then.

“Well, it ain't my car,” you replied, your smile widening. “And good evening to you.”

His elbow that was resting between you two was making his shoulder and chest so wide, but he was wearing a black, long-sleeved t-shirt so you couldn't make up much of him. Only the long silver chain hanging around his neck. “Good evening,” he muttered dreamily. After another heartbeat, he cleared his throat. “Ready to go?”

Finally looking ahead and out onto the street, you nodded. “No idea where to, but I trust you. So yeah, I am ready,” you said enthusiastically, not knowing where the positive energy was coming from, but it was welcomed. You looked at him again, to see his bright smile and a resolute nod before he turned to face the front, his right hand expertly putting the vehicle into drive.

The lights in the car were all red, including the seatbelt that was holding you together, because otherwise you might have fallen apart at how you were levitating in the air from the man driving next to you. And boy, did you need some reality check because this all seemed way out of your league for it to be true. So while Baekhyun was talking to you, asking you some questions to get to know you, your right hand slid to the outer side of your thigh and pinched it as hard as could, scared that you would suddenly wake up in your shitty one-room apartment and a bitter taste in your mouth at how real the dream was-

-except it wasn't a dream.

You were in his car.

And currently he was quietly laughing at something silly you replied, most probably not paying attention since you were too busy being scared of having such a vivid dream with him.

There was this whiff of his cologne, that was strangely soft and not quite masculine as you would have expected. It was clean, yet so enthralling it was the only sign you could connect it to you grounding yourself with the current moment.

“I hope you won't dislike my plan too much,” he said after he focused on the road for a minute since there was sudden traffic and he was changing lines. His eyes were checking the side mirrors, and you swallowed.

Biting your lip, you realised all the lip gloss has disappeared since you kept gnawing at it nonstop, too nervous to notice. “It is the company that counts, right?” you tried, but you just felt like everything you said might have earned you bad points.

He smiled, still looking at the road as he took a right, a huge hill next to you. Gazing out of the window, you held your breath.

“Wait,” you muttered, frowning. “Isn't this-”

“I live elsewhere-”

“UN Village?” your tone went almost an octave higher, not being able to tear your gaze away. After you passed the bridge to Hannam-dong, you recognized it immediately since there were so many embassies but you thought you would end up in Itaewon. But he was stopping right there. Turning to him, you gave him a squint. “What are we doing here?”

Since there were no more cars on the road as you were driving up he stole a glance at you. “Don't worry, we aren't going to any of the houses here.”

Your heart sped up again.

“As you know,” he tried, leading the car through streets full of expensive houses and mansions, and you wanted to hide from all the posh, luxurious buildings that seemed to be out of place in a cramped city like Seoul. “I can't just go anywhere I like, unfortunately.” Finally, he stopped the car in front of a house but on the other side of the road so that he wasn't blocking the entrance. “If you don't like it or feel uncomfortable, we can go elsewhere.” Now he turned in the driver's seat, facing you with a slight worry in his eyes. You might have not read him so well, but he honestly wanted to be on a calm place. With you. Alone. No disturbances.

You shook your head, scolding yourself internally for freaking out at him like that. Another bad point, you thought. “Not at all,” you replied, giving him an apologetic smile. “I don't think I've ever even been in the vicinity of this place, is all.”

“I guess I'm the first to bring you here then, eh?”

You chuckled. “Good guess.”

He stared at you for a tad longer than normally, which in your communication studies lecture definitely meant affectionate body language, but you tried not to pay too much attention. “Shall we?” he asked, motioning with his hand to the silent street.

Once outside, you realised his plan was very simple. Walking. Enjoying the bright moonlight above you that was almost in full moon. Oh, the city lights as well. The entire city of Seoul was lying in front of you.

“This is gorgeous,” you breathed out, stopping at some point to just stare and enjoy the pretty view. “I could stare at this the whole night.”

Feeling a presence right next to you, you turned to see his side profile that made you, once again, realise who the hell took you out on a date. Byun fucking Baekhyun. He brought you on your date, and it was walking in UN Village… Just walking in this posh place so that you wouldn't be disturbed. So that you wouldn't be caught.

The last thought right there gave you a powerful bang in your chest, and it only multiplied when the handsome man turned his head to look at you, his eyes soft as he smiled down at you. “I figured you aren't the type to like crowded places,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence.

You scoffed playfully. “Another good guess. Are you like a mind reader or something?”

Pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he laughed. “Could be? Sometimes you are quite an open book to me.”

“That sounds like we know each other for a long time, Baekhyun.” ssi, you added in your mind, the idea of being comfortable with him still foreign to you.

Few seconds passed by when he finally hummed. That hum that made wonders to you. “I kinda wish I did.”

Freezing for a brief moment, you dared to look at him with wide eyes. Biting your lip, you tried to come up with a reply quickly, but he faced you as well and stole your breath away. That pull, the attraction was suddenly ignited. “You can always amend that,” was what you managed to say. Inhaling deeply, you continued: “Is that why you… ehm, you gave in a word for my favour at the magazine?”

This time it was Baekhyun who froze, definitely not expecting you to know this information. It was supposed to be between him and you're editor-in-chief. “I-”

“What is your plan, Baekhyun?” you didn't let him speak. “Because…” you trailed off, suddenly your emotions on fire. “Because I want to be straightforward with you, as you know by now. You like me, I know that. But is this a game?”

“No!” his whole body turned to you, deep frown etched into his forehead. “I didn't know you could misinterpret me asking you out on a date as a form of, what, mockery?”

Inside, you knew he already explained himself to you, so that was why you beat yourself up for starting this subject again, but you couldn't help it. Your insecurities were skyrocketing and it didn't make sense for him to be interested in someone so lowly when he had all the glitter and shine within a reach of his hand. “I didn't say mockery,” you said. Opening your mouth to continue, he cut you off, stepping closer.

“What about you? Do you like me?”

You went silent, while your ragged breathing was answering him for you. Not breaking eye contact once, he nodded. “You know, I will need you to confirm with words.”

Starting to shake your head, scared that he caught you, you felt the need to explain, but you could only stutter: “It's not that- I mean I don't-ah! You are a famous personality,” you exclaimed, getting evidently defensive. “Why would you think I won't snap a picture of you and post it on SNS and just, I don't know, expose you?”

“You wouldn't.”

“What makes you so confident?” you dared him, your voice dropping in challenge.

“I trust you.”

“That should be a difficult phrase to say, coming from someone like you. A-list celebrity and artist.”

He kept looking at you, analysing you, but his stance was still confident and honest. “I could be just a normal man if you didn't look at my job.”

“Don't they usually talk about jobs on the first dates?”

He was quiet but he smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I feel honoured you finally consider this as an actual first date, miss.”

Scoffing, you looked away for a second but turned your gaze right back to him, him always being the magnet of your eyes. “You still didn't answer me, mister.”

A playful glint shone in his eye. “To which question again?”

You sighed but you were entertained and butterflies were fluttering in your lower tummy at the situation you found yourself in. “Why would you trust me... I honestly don't know.”

“You aren't ready for my answer, yet.”

At that, you frowned. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged, grinning pridefully. “Exactly what I said.”

“But-”

“You will have to come out for another date, or two-” he stopped abruptly, thinking for a second, his eyes up on the sky before dropping back to your eager orbs, “or three or four, to find out the answer.”

“Till then, I will have you alllllll exposed to the world,” you whispered darkly, widening your eyes at him.

That night, Baekhyun laughed the loudest.

Work, although your favourite thing, suddenly became a small dread and a difficult task to fulfill. Whatever transcriptions you had to do, meetings to attend, come up with ideas and make sure you were growing as an editor and future writer, you needed to speed up your game - or at least keep it up, since the feature with Baekhyun earned you quite the plus points with the editor-in-chief. It was only natural you did not want to disappoint her by any chance.

But you were very, very distracted.

This distraction was there nonstop. If not actively on your mind, then lurking in the back of it, always rudely intruding your train of thoughts about work, your line of work and basically everything that was involving anything in every minute of your waking hour.

Your hand would literally shake, your heart painfully jumping at any vibration of your phone and whenever his name was uttered at work (because you were still perfecting the interview and the pictorial for the release) you would quite literally jump in your chair, looking around frantically hoping to see… his face.

But you were only met with Hyeri's amused grin and a huge stack of papers that needed to be skimmed through. As much as you wished to be thankful for the amount of work that should have helped you get your mind off of him, it wasn't effective at all.

You were completely charmed, swayed and you didn't seem to know how to come back to planet Earth and stand with two solid feet on the ground. It wasn't like you were constantly in touch with him - so maybe that was why you were so restless, unfocused and just useless at whatever you did ever since the date in UN Village. Him being so busy just meant that he really was preparing hard for his comeback. And it also meant that he really didn't want to pressure you, for which you were thankful, and you just swooned more, because ugh, what a considerate gentleman.

So after couple of days of just swimming by at work, making sure all the absolutely necessary parts were thoroughly double-checked and handed in, you decided resolutely, that it was time to get yourself back on track. It wasn't okay for you to act this way because of some man. That was what he implied at the date, right? For you to look at him as just a man with a job…

Of course, when you entered office on a Wednesday with a hot cup of strong English tea in your hand at 8am (you needed to get in earlier to get some extra work done), your phone signalled a happy ding! letting you know you received a text message. No hour would be too early for your heart to react so frantically as you looked at the lit up screen to see the notification with the preview of his message before you unlocked your phone, excitement swallowing all your focused thoughts for the day.

Waiter: good morning!! ^^ i guess you are up already?ㅅ please have a good breakfast!! no caffeine on empty stomach!! i am already on the shoot, ㅠㅠ i hope you will make my long day a bit brighter with your reply hehehehe ><!! (8:02am)

A high-pitched giggle bubbled up in your stomach and out into the empty space of the office. You covered your mouth quickly as you read the lines over and over again, literally hearing his excited voice through the exclamation marks. Biting your lip, you sat down onto your office chair and stared just a bit longer before mulling if you should reply right away or wait a bit. It would look desperate if you replied right away, wouldn't it? But if you wouldn't reply right away, he might not have his phone with him anymore and you would have to wait a lot for his reply and also he was relying on you making his day brighte-

Another fit of giggles took over you as you realised that a message from you could make someone else's day much brighter. That someone else being Baekhyun. Who was waiting. Who was expecting a happy ding! of his own. Preferably from you.

Sighing like a love stricken teenage girl, you started typing before deleting. The cycle went on a few times before you finally resolved to just send the message.

Me: Good morning :) my day is much nicer now that heard from you :P I ate my breakfast but did you eat yours?? I bet you didnt… hope shoot is fun! (8:10am)

There. It should do for a whi-

Ding!

It wasn't even few seconds-

Waiter: shoot isnt fun without a certain editor being present…(8:10am)

Waiter: i had my breakfast!! but dieting only allows so much for now ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Waiter: you leaving for work now? (8:11am)

Me: i'm sure the editor you have now is more professional lol

Me: i actually just arrived to work to get something done before others arrive

Waiter: huhuuu alone in the office?

Waiter: you work hard, just as i always knew you were

Waiter: dont overwork oki?

Waiter: and NO SHE IS NOT MORE PROFESSIONAL she doesnt even smile

Me: you overwork not me

Me: ok ok chill, people not smiling at me is my everyday life, welcome welcome ;)

Waiter: mmmmmm……...

Waiter: ill make up for all the unrequited smiles ^^

You put down your phone for a moment, needing a breather after his last message. No, no, do not by any chance get too attached yet, you chided yourself. But the pain in your cheeks from smiling too much was protesting, letting you feel the taste of the magic that was the man who was eager to talk to you at this hour of the day.

Thinking over what to reply next, another ding rushed in, following other excited ones.

Waiter: ive gotta run, they are calling me now

Waiter: if you feel like it, drop me a msg anytime hihi

Waiter: have a beautiful day

You quickly grabbed your phone, wanting him to see your message before he would face his busy day.

Me: thank you waiter. have a good day

Me: …

Me: I also wouldnt mind you dropping me a message :)

Gosh, you sucked. Texting was not your thing, you were bad at it and just… you felt like your messages were not conveying the real emotions that you were feeling, thinking. Meanwhile he was… wow. Pure passion.

Just before you could finally face the work you planned, you received an email from your editor-in-chief, which you immediately opened in case it would had to be dealt with right away. Only then you noticed it was an official email for your team.

Upcoming Music Awards attendee list, it read.

Your magazine was one of the few that would personally send out writers and photographers to bring its own insight into the various award shows. The magazine had even a special column just for the shows that were happening all over Asia, and your magazine was following its each step.

Quickly skimming through the introductory text she wrote, your eyes finally landed on the list of names of those who would have to attend the show, bringing some good insight into the show itself.

Excitement was burning in your veins as you spotted Hyeri's name and right after hers came yours.

Your name was there. You would go to the awards show. It would be your first time...

Another big step in your career!

Days went by, and you were starting to grow impatient about meeting him. It wasn't like you could do anything about it - he was constantly under supervision of his managers, since he was so packed with various schedules, photoshoots, probably even recordings for shows. You wouldn't know, and you definitely wouldn't be asking him about it. The reason was simple. As much as it must have been interesting to be nosy about his artist life, you were much more interested in him as a human.

As a man.

Weirdly enough for you, he kept in touch with you here and there, always reminding you to drink your water and eat good food. He would wake you up with morning texts and always manage to catch you just before pulling the curtains shut, ready for the bed. Was he a mind reader by any chance? You still wondered...

Just as you were thinking this, he was already making himself present by sending you a message.

Waiter: i was wondering where should i take you next?

Waiter: because it is definitely time for the NEXT

Your heartbeat instantly sped up, hands trembling as you opened his messages. But before he could bombard you more, you already had something in your mind. It was something you thought right after your first date, since you knew the place well you could ensure he wouldn't be caught there.

Me: I have an idea ;)

Waiter: but i am the one calling you ouuuuuuut so I should decide…..

Me: i thought you wanted to make me feel comfortable?

Waiter: yes. that, is true

Me: there might be a slight issue though…

As soon as you saw the read sign next to your message, your phone was ringing, his nickname flashing happily. Hastily, you picked it up, not ready to hear him like this.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he breathed softly, a smile painting his voice. “So… What is this slight issue that would prevent me from seeing you?”

Not trying to give too much attention to your frantic heart at his choice of words, you replied calmly: “Well, you know Asan, right?” He hummed in acknowledgement, sending electric shocks down your spine. “There is this gorgeous place that literally looks like Santorini in Greece.”

He was silent for a moment before responding: “Santorini in Greece?” he asked, slight doubt in his voice. He called your name strictly, but you knew he was being playful with you. “Are you making fun of me?”

You giggled, slapping your hand on your mouth to shut out the shriek you let out. “No! I promise you I know the place very well. And at night there is barely a living soul.”

“Now you have my attention,” he laughed quietly, the sound of it somehow intimate. “So the best time is to go in the night, you say?”

“Yeah. We want you to stay unnoticed, don't we?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, obviously not happy he was making meet ups more difficult because of his status. “Would 10 or 11 be safe you think?”

“Definitely,” you answered, smiling brightly.

“Perfect! Then how about tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“Yes, tonight,” you confirmed, closing your eyes.

Knowing the way this Korean Santorini was, you dressed in an elegant baby pink dress, the long wavy skirt coming to your knees, the upper part gorgeously hugging all the right places. You rarely wore this dress, not needing anyone's attention on your chest, but tonight, although very shyly, you wanted to finally shine for someone.

What was this weird feeling pooling in your stomach? You felt it before as well, but this time knowing how he really wanted to meet you and spend time with you, this feeling increased and left you in a pleasurable pain that you didn't dare to think too much into. Being ashamed about your mind and your body's reaction to him, you wanted to pretend he wasn't affecting you.

But it was a concrete fact by now.

You both shared a rather strong chemistry and if it weren't for Baekhyun acting up on his feelings, you would never be in this situation.

Checking the clock, you hurriedly checked yourself once more in the mirror before grabbing your white sweater and heading out.

Just like on the first date, his car was the only car alive on the parking lot at this hour. Quickly making your way towards it, you slipped inside swiftly, closed the door and faced him with a bright grin.

A tired pair of eyes was what welcomed you, but his genuine smile still met them.

“Hey,” you breathed, your eyes running over his features.

“Hi,” his smile widened. Just like the first time, he didn't let his eyes drop down to check you out, but this time you realised you were not that happy with it. This time, you wanted him to check you out. And he better have made it obvious to you.

“You look tired,” you commented, concern flashing over your face.

“Oh, no, I'm good! It was a long day, but now that you are finally sitting here I feel much more energised,” he tried, not looking your way as he reached for the GPS, handing it to you before pulling the seat belt over him again. “Type in the address and we shall head down to Asan.”

Your mind was racing with possible options on how to resolve this situation.

Of course, the best would have been to immediately send him home to have the rest he was obviously so deprived of.

But who were you kidding.

You were selfish and sending him away from you was the last thing on your mind.

So the second option was something you were dreading, but what wouldn't you do?

“I think we should just erm, take a taxi or something, and leave your car here. I don't think you should drive like this. It isn't that far, but at this hour in this state it will be difficult.”

He glanced at you briefly, and you saw the wheels turning in his head as he was also brainstorming options. Then he looked at you, calling your name. “Do you have a driving license?”

“Excuse me?”

“Can you drive a car?” he repeated patiently, glint of amusement at your shocked face.

“I can, yes,” you replied, hesitant. This didn't sound good.

“Let's switch then,” he decided, already unbuckling his belt. “You can drive us there, right?”

“What?” you whisper-shouted. “But I can't drive your car! What if I crash it? I wouldn't be able to pay the damage in the next ten years!” you exclaimed, flashes of the possible unfortunate event vivid in your mind.

He chuckled at your outburst before reaching his hand out to mess with your nicely combed hair as he rested his head back on the headrest, giving you an affectionate look. “I trust you, remember? I don't have a problem with you driving my car.”

“But-”

“We can go elsewhere-”

“Okay, let's switch.”

He laughed loudly, the sound giving you an incredible sense of satisfaction. It was you who made him laugh, brightened his features. It was you who was glistening in the reflection of his eyes.

But he didn't move, not yet. His eyes were trained on you, his head still leaned back on the headrest. “I don't want to give you stress,” sweetheart. He bit his lip.

You shook your head, suddenly determined. “Not at all, Baekhyun.”

His eyes turned into gorgeous half-moons, loving the hue of pink and red kissing your puffed up cheeks from the flush that he was obviously causing you. Slowly, he was getting more and more assured about the effect he had on you, and he wouldn't lie if he said he was starting to like it quite too much given how shy and innocent and cutely professional you were trying to be with him.

“Eerm,” you let out, baffled by his intense stare. But he was still not moving, so you decided to reciprocate the intense stare, the purring of the motor a completely closed out noise by now. If elephants would start falling from the sky, you both would have been oblivious. “Should we… change?” you asked quietly, as you also rested your head on the headrest, your left cheek touching the soft leather of his car.

He also adjusted his face to have a better look at you. “Are you sure you will be alright?” he mimicked your silent voice, but to you it seemed loud in the quiet space.

Not answering right away, you let yourself enjoy his eyes on you, just as you wanted him to. What you couldn't imagine before though, was the softness of his demeanor, tenderness and something- affection? How could you know? You still had to explore him, his facial expressions, his ways of telling you how he was feeling...Licking your lips at the thought, you closed your eyes briefly before opening them. His lips, although ever-so-slightly, lifted. “Yes. You will be right here, guiding me right?”

“Of course! I will be the captain,” he said as he lifted his head from the rest as he leaned in, utterly unable to keep any distance between you two any longer, “and you will be the ship.”

Successfully, you made it to the highway that was leading you outside of Seoul. Not daring to be close to the speed limit, you still drove the car in an acceptable manner, not even daring to blink in case some idiot of a driver would jump in front of you which would lead you crashing Baekhyun's car.

You heard a soft laugh from your right before you saw a hand in your line of vision. It landed on your right one, leaving it there briefly, but still long enough to give you a complete heart-attack. “Relax,” he said, entertained. “The steering wheel didn't do you no wrong. Your knuckles are literally white.”

Knowing yourself all to well, you were about to spill some nasty swear words, because you couldn't drive and do conversation, let alone being touched by fucking Byun Baekhyun. “Okay, okay, I am relaxing just don't-” you stopped abruptly as he retrieved his hand and gave you a quizzical look, “ehm, just, rest, would you? We have a date to attend to after the arrival.”

It was silent for literally one second before he bursted out into a huge fit of laughter, making him wheeze. “God, you're so cute. I didn't know you were this blunt while driving!”

Biting your lip, you felt your face heat up from the points he made about you. “Please,” you sighed, “just don't pay attention to me.”

“Now I kind of want to annoy you, though,” he replied, coughing his laugh away as a mischievous grin was overtaking his features. “Who knows what might I get out of you by the end of this ride?” his flirty tone was taking lead.

“Baekhyun,” you warned, not giving a damn about keeping your image clean and kind.

“Yes?” he asked, his voice like honey. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Scoffing, but smiling anyway, you looked at the side mirror, about to switch lanes, turning to the direction of Cheonan, Asan. “Am I going in the right way?”

With that he immediately checked, but you knew you were going to the right one, based on the signs that he didn't seem to pay attention to. He checked the GPS that was lying in his lap, before he looked on the road. “You are. Keep going straight.”

Even though you couldn't see him, your peripheral vision was on spot. His seat was pushed more backwards, as yours was pushed towards the steering wheel, since his legs were longer than yours. He was sitting comfortably, his right hand gripping the holder above the window as he was looking ahead on the road, occasionally letting his gaze rest on your side profile before looking back, scared you would catch him staring.

It was silent for a bit, but you didn't want to break it, hoping he would get a peace of mind, and just rest up.

Then you heard it. A tired sigh as you sensed he leaned back on the seat even more. “How was your day? I hope I wasn't too pushy with my request to meet tonight.”

“Not at all,” you breathed, “I was glad you asked.”

Baekhyun smiled to himself as he finally let his eyes close for a moment, enjoying your company and the fact that you were driving his car. So cute as you solely focused on the road, but one of his touches and you were on fire. He licked his lips. “I would have asked way earlier,” he started, making a slight pause, hoping his words wouldn't scare you away, “but I really didn't want to push you.”

Silently, you were dying to hear more of what he had to say, you heart causing you slight problems with focusing on the highway that was, thankfully, almost empty, except buses and trucks.

“Heck, I would have called you out as soon as I brought you home last time.”

To this, you giggled, feeling like on cloud 9 from his confession.

“You're laughing at me?” he cracked one eye open, once again unable to stop himself as he poked the side of your right thigh.

You giggled more before almost losing balance with the car.

He stopped, seeing your face. “Oh, sorry, sorry.”

No, don't be, you thought, now completely on fire. Touch me more.

Just as you told him, Santorini, or also called Blue Crystal Village, was silent, the small streets full of white, traditional Greek houses making you smile right away. If you tried just a little bit, you could easily believe you were actually in Santorini, if only there wouldn't be signs in hangul everywhere.

Finally standing on your shaky legs, you heard Baekhyun lock the car and joining you in front so you could start walking. It was a very, very foreign urge, but once he was next to you, you had the need to take his hand. However, you knew you were nowhere near close to that stage. You still couldn't easily let him slip between your fingers.

“Wow, this place is literally Greece,” he laughed quietly as he looked at your reaction before motioning with his head to start walking.

He had a cap now securely on his head, which was good for a coverup, but you hated the shadow it was throwing on his eyes.

“This used to be my favourite place once,” you told him, “very, very good getaway when you want some quiet time.” You walked in the streets, the fairy lights connected from one house to the other, some displaying hearts, others just big light bulbs. The streets were all lit up prettily, just as you remembered. “In fact, I used to come here whenever something was bothering me.”

“Really? Want to share something more?” he urged, playfully pushing you with his elbow.

And so you talked about your university studies, and various memories that were tied to the streets you were currently walking on. He was such a great listener, although you preferred him when he was speaking. Simply, because you loved his voice, the expressions he made, his body language.

And he was able to show it all to you through that one hour and half that you wandered around, took pictures with the fairly lights and the houses, and eventually sat down at a little convenience store that had a small table and plastic chairs outside. Baekhyun insisted on buying you both a drink - lemonade. You couldn't help but smile fondly at this gesture.

“I don't really like drinking alcohol,” he explained as he sat down opposite you.

Just like that, you got to know him better. You got to realise how deep and serious he could be, a complete opposite of the playful puppy he was on set. Of course, he would always make sure to be flirty, and the electric shocks you got whenever your hands would accidentally touch while walking, would be too painful, borderline unbearable.

It escalated completely when both of you stopped in front of the car. You were ready to drive back, still worried he would be tired.

As he unlocked the car and you opened the door, he suddenly pushed it back, letting it close. You turned, only to be surprised at the proximity of his body.

“Sorry,” he let out a breathy chuckle, “Just… I don't think I can get out of the car and give you a proper bye once we arrive at yours.”

What did he mean by this proper bye?

Your heart fell at the realisation.

Would this be the time where he would tell you he wouldn't be seeing you again?

Before the panic could take over, he continued: “I really enjoyed my time with you tonight. Also, I will be driving back!” he exclaimed with a wide smile.

Confused, you nodded and gave a small smile, ready to turn when he held you by your wrist and gently brought you to him. The action caused your breath to hitch, legs getting shaky at his warm touch. “I just,” he started again, but he shook his head once before lifting his left hand and held your cheek gently. This was the moment where you could have sworn you would go down on your knees. “You're so beautiful,” he murmured, looking at your lips. And he was leaning in. His breath fanning your right cheek. His wet lips touching your skin, giving you a sweet kiss. You closed your eyes, heaving out a shaky breath. “I like you. Even more now,” he whispered. Slowly pulling away, but not too far, he whispered as he let his hand that was still on your cheek slide towards your hairline, his thumb caressing your skin. “Could you now tell me using your words?”

“Wha-”

“Do you like me?” he murmured, his eyes gently smiling at you before his gaze dropped again on your now parted lips. “I need you to confirm it. Out loud.”

Now or never. You might have been already falling too hard, when you spoke: “I like you.”

He leaned in, giving you hopes of receiving your first kiss. But he merely gave a lingering kiss to your other cheek. Baekhyun let his lips hover over your flushed skin as he made his way to your lips, once again lingering there for a brief second, giving you false, painful hopes, before he brought them up to your forehead and finally, pressed them there. “Awesome.”

---

There. Will. Be. A. Next. Part. (final)

Cause its just too much what I have in mind! I hope I didnt disappoint. Please, let me know what you thought! I love to hear any feedback! 😇

Btw can you guess why is his nickname "waiter"? ^^

#baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fic #Baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #exo fic #Exo scenario #exo imagine #exo fanfiction #baekhyun ff #baekhyun au #my writings

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exalok · 3 years

Text

Some Thoughts, as previously mentioned

specifically about daud, his aceness or non-aceness, how it relates to mine, and the limits of my writing -- partly in response to your letter, anonymous

under readmore because this might get long and so you can skip it if you’d rather

okay so. i would like to clarify that i’m going to say stuff that contradicts the things you said, and um, i don’t want you to feel bad about it? maybe you won’t and this is a silly disclaimer to lay down. or maybe you will but for other reasons than what i’m trying to avoid by saying this. what i mean to say is i did have an intention going in to most of my daud-fic, which isn’t the one you seem to believe, but also the author is dead and that intention doesn’t matter if it can’t be seen from the reader’s point of view

specifically, what i’m contradicting is “changing a character’s sexuality” -- i am going to explain my intention, and what i think the problems are with that intention, and if i remember to i will finish by reconnecting it all to what i think of the ace discourse (hopefully i won’t do this entirely backwards in an effort to contextualize)

to be honest the intentions were probably multiple and this is why i confuse myself and leave it unclear.

1) sex is fascinating in what it can show about two characters, and it’s meaty and physical without necessarily getting gory (though i enjoy toeing the line, dunno what that says about me), and it’s considered this Huge Thing by so many of my peers/family/etc or this average entirely normal thing by others of my peers/family/etc all at once and the problem with that heaping pile of contradiction is there is a lot for me to process but i absolutely cannot while anyone else is in the room for various reasons (embarrassment, fear, anxiety, incomprehension) and so the solution is facing it on my own, hence writing -- but also my entire brain latched on to dishonored and specifically corvo & daud, and they have become a comfortable little nook for me to explore otherwise daunting subjects with. the more i think on it the more i love using them both as a vehicle to explore various facets of identity (sexuality, gender, and i’m making forays into politics maybe)

2) i still like ace!daud. i want ace!daud. i want to figure him out. this is mostly difficult because to figure him out, to make him feel real while also being ace, i need to make him familiar to me -- because if i base myself on outside experience, on hearsay or stereotype, he will feel fake -- and i barely feel familiar to myself. i often don’t understand my own experience. i will simultaneously stare at the smallest little detail of my behavior and have the hardest time focusing on what the hell it means, like the most myopic brain analyst.

the result is i try to have both at once: daud as asexual, and not even necessarily demisexual -- daud not caring much for sex, not always even liking it -- but asking for it anyway for his own reasons, often twisty ones that he’s not necessarily aware of

part of this is because i still have a hard time understanding being sexual as, like, a full-time thing, and the only way i have of translating it is through awkward replays of stuff i’ve seen elsewhere (largely present in how i write corvo these days). there are so many parts that perplex me, and so many things that seem to be assumed in some narratives but not at all in others, and i don’t know what is because of focus and what is because of culture and what is because of reality and what the difference between all of those is anyway

part of it is because i can’t pick and choose to save my life and am forever cursed with making Weird Soup out of all the things i want to think about

conclusion: the intention that comes through is probably primarily the sex one, because that’s the most obvious when i refuse to use modern identity labels for a bunch of dudes who haven’t ever properly thought through that shit -- but also! sometimes! i write things that feel like they contradict how i see ace!daud! and those parts always end up feeling a little wrong, but they’re still there to be read and accepted as part of the narrative and they muddle my attempts even more

so. ace!daud discourse. that definitely existed in my vicinity, and as i automatically absorb most of the stuff that passes me by, yes, it did get to me a little. after all, my intentions are contradictory: i want to write the boning, and i want them to enjoy it, but i also want to explore what it might mean for daud not to like it after all. is that not, on some level, disrespectful? what about his taste for control, the giving and the imposition of it, and its relation to where and how he grew up, and the decisions he made later on? is it wrong for me to want it to make sense? am i thinking about it too hard?? that happens, but also i don’t know. i don’t have enough experience with any of it to have feelings or opinions about how i’m treating the subject beyond “yeah i like where this is going”

i am of the strong opinion that writers should write what they like, even if it’s shitty. i am also of the strong opinion that i’m responsible for trying to think through what i’m writing, and not completely trample people in the process. those two opinions don’t always coexist comfortably.

it doesn’t mean i’ll stop writing -- fuck no, i love words so goddamn much, and i love dishonored beyond reason, and i think that with time i’ll get somewhere where what i’m trying to do will make enough sense to me that i’ll be able to have it show up on the page -- but my early efforts will continue to exist as well, however self-contradictory they are in their underpinnings, and i guess sometimes i just need downtime to reevaluate the whole of my progress

i probably forgot where i was going with this partway through??? but i hope it mostly makes sense. have a glimpse of the gears, whoever managed to get to the end

(oh also i only recently decided to start compiling a little something where the intention actually is having daud not be ace so i can see what i’ll do with that now that i have a bit more understanding under my belt -- they’re very stupid about it, as they usually are)

here’s to hashing out one’s feelings about shit they wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole in real life!!! /sets off fireworks, throws confetti, jumps onto a sled and disappears

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lieuwrites · 4 years

Text

The First Date | Lee Felix | Oneshot

Title: The First Date

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Synopsis: Felix finds out his best friend has never gone on a date and makes it his mission to take them on the best date ever

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, angst (?), best friends, college!au, seemingly unrequited love

Words: 2.6k

Requested: No

“So you're telling me that you’ve never been on a date before?”

I buried my face into my crossed arms and hoped the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I don’t know how we ended up on this topic but I didn't want to look up across the table at Felix and have him tease me for being inexperienced.

The vibrations of him tapping on the table near the top of my head called for my attention. “Okay fine,” I raised my head and glared at the guy in front of me, “I’ve never been on a date. At my big age, I’ve never been on a date.”

Felix held his hands up in surrender and chuckled, picking up his pen and going back to writing his notes for his music theory class. He seemed to get the message that this was a topic I was embarrassed about and now it's become something I wouldn’t be able to shake from my focus on for the rest of my day. To think, I’ve gone this far without even striking up a relationship with anyone.

“You know,” Felix spoke up, bringing me out of my thoughts, “it's not uncommon to never have been on a date at this age. You’re a college student, you've got things to do! Some people are just too busy for dates right now.”

“You know when people try to comfort you but it just makes you feel worse?” I grumbled

He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled meekly at me. “Sorry.”

“No, it's just that I’m not busy which means there's got to be something wrong with me. I’m taking it easy with my classes and work and yet instead of meeting new people and going on dates, my spare time is filled with staying at home and watching dramas.” I slumped back on the desk and sulked.

“You forgot to mention you spend a lot of time with yours truly over here.” Felix pointed at himself smugly before his expression suddenly changed to one of excitement. “(Y/n) I’ve just had the most brilliant idea.”

I signalled for him to continue with my hand.

“Go out with me.”

A silence settled between us, Felix with his wide smile and me with an incredulous look on my face. When he realised I wasn't going to say anything, he continued.

“Okay hear me out, you’ve never been on a date–”

“We have established that many times already, move on.”

“–Right, okay, so you don't want to get desperate and throw yourself at the first guy willing to take you out and you end up having a shitty time, yeah?”

“You’re making me out to be quite pathetic but if I’m having this stupid conversation with you I guess you’re not wrong.”

“Who better to take you out than your best friend? I’ll make sure you have a good– no, the best first date ever! Then you don't have to sulk so much over this.” If he could, Felix would definitely throw himself some sort of awards ceremony with the way he was patting his own back over his idea.

I thought about it, what was the harm? He was right, I would have a good first date --at least I hoped I would but I didn't know how much I could trust that idiot’s definition of ‘good’-- and I’d get to check ‘first date’ off of the imaginary to-do list in my head. What could go wrong?

You could fall for him

I quickly shook the intrusive thought out of my head and nodded, holding my hand out to shake with Felix’s

“It's a date.”

I looked at the box that Felix dropped off at my apartment room, wondering what the hell was inside. Surely I could just open it but the velvet lining and the silk ribbon told me I couldn't afford whatever it was.

After a few minutes of nail biting and contemplation, I slowly tugged the ribbon loose and opened the box to a dress. It was definitely something I would see and turn away from because the price would scare me off.

I held it up in front of me and looked in the mirror. It was short and bouncy, a fun patterned dress that could be dressed up or worn casual. As I turned to put it back, I noticed an envelope addressed to me.

In cursive it wrote,

’To my dearest (y/n),

I hope you're looking forward to our date. I’ve picked this out for you to wear tomorrow cause I know you’ll definitely stress about it. Aren’t I the best?

Yours truly,

Felix.

(ps. I hope your bedroom floor isn't as destroyed as I know it is.)’

I looked at all the scattered clothes I had thrown on the ground just an hour ago in an attempt to find the perfect outfit for our date tomorrow.

“Jesus Christ… he couldn't have dropped this off a little earlier?”

A knock on my door signalled Felix’s arrival and I jumped up excitedly to let him in. I opened the door to be greeted with his warm smile and crescent moon eyes. He pulled his hand out from behind him and presented me with a single red rose.

“For you.”

I couldn't help the blush that crept up my face as I accepted the flower, hoping that my makeup was enough to hide it.

“Thank you for this... Oh and the dress, it’s really nice.”

I spun to show it off and laughed as he applauded. “My taste is immaculate,” he praised himself. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, just let me grab my jacket.” I turned to get it until I felt Felix’s hand circle my wrist.

“No no no you're doing it wrong. If you get cold, then I would simply have to lend you my jacket. That’s why I wore this one, it matches your look.”

I could only laugh at how silly he was being but I went along with it anyways. As we left my apartment, his hand dropped from my wrist and slipped into mine. We’ve held hands many times before and we’ve hung out many times before but the context of this being a date made my heart beat just that little bit faster.

“So, what's the plan?” I asked looking up at Felix. He let go of my hand to open the car door for me, closing it after I got in. He hopped into the driver's seat and strapped himself in.

“First, I’ll take you to a stupid restaurant where the portions are small and the prices are high. We’ll feel a little awkward because we don't know how to act but we keep up a facade of small talk and shallow laughs,”

I nodded along, enjoying his narrative. He started the car and drove, turning on the radio and lowering the volume so he could continue.

“Then we’ll leave unsatisfied and hungry. I’ll ask ‘so… did you enjoy it?’ and you respond with a polite ‘yeah it was nice.’ Then we’ll sit in an uncomfortable silence for a bit until we settle on an unspoken mutual understanding that it was shit. That's when you speak up and say…” he looked over at me and prompted me to speak.

“Uhhh, lets go get some real food?”

“Correct! And I’ll respond with ‘I know just the place.’ so then I drive us to– Oh, look there’s our first destination.”. I looked out the window to an italian restaurant. After we drove in, my door was opened by a worker and Felix tossed his keys to the valet.

“Come on (y/n)! We’ve got a reservation to get to.”

I jogged up to Felix and slipped my hand into the crook of his elbow.

“You didn't finish your story.”

“Well I guess you’re going to have to see this date through to find out how it ends.”

Felix was very detailed in his plan. The portions of the meals were indeed small and their prices weren't even listed on the menu --‘that’s how you know they're stupid expensive’ he commented while looking through it--

During dinner he really stuck to the ‘awkward small talk’ act, from the way he fiddled with his cutlery, to the way he stuttered when he talked.

(”So… what do you do for a living?” Felix looked up at me and then had his gaze dart back down to the pasta on his plate, pushing the food around stiffly with his fork.

“Felix you literally picked me up from my shift two days ago,” I deadpanned.

“You know,” he twirled the noodles with his fork, “you’re really taking the fun out of this awkward start to the date. Could you at least give me a dry answer?”

I couldn't help but soften at his pout. “I’ll do you one better.” I sat up straight, chewed on my lip a bit while shifting my eyes away from the man in front of me, choosing to focus on the pattern of the floor of the restaurant.

I let out a pretend anxious cough and spoke up, “Uhh… I do office work. You know just dealing with filing papers and data entry, low level stuff that isn't interesting to talk about.”

I looked up through my hair at Felix who was trying his best to hold back a smile, instead pursing his lips together to stifle a laugh.

“Oh o-okay. I mean we don't have to talk about your work, I j-just–”

“No,” I cut him off, “it's fine. Um, we could think of a different topic?”

“Yes let's do that.”

And then we sat in silence for another minute, only hearing the sounds of our cutlery scraping against the plates.

As much as this little performance was meant to be awkward, I’d never felt more comfortable acting stupid with Felix.)

We sat back in the car silently, waiting for the other to speak up.

“So, how was the food?” Felix asked.

I pretended to contemplate a bit before answering with a curt, ‘It was okay. I enjoyed it.’

Felix nodded, looking out the window clearing his throat to break the silence.

“Okay you know what, let’s get this part of the night over and done with,” I reached over and tugged on Felix’s arm to get his attention, “let's go get some real food.”

A smirk made its way on his face and he started the car, “I know just the place.”

As we sat on the sidewalk eating our cheap burritos from the food truck parked across the street, I couldn't help but admire how Felix looked. He had loosened up his proper look from the beginning of the night, tousling his gelled hair a bit and unbuttoning the first two buttons of his button up. The lights from the small carnival set up behind us illuminated his features flawlessly, accentuating the sharpness of his jawline. When it came to bone structure, Felix was definitely gifted with it. His button nose and full lips rounded out his features, balancing his look perfectly.

To put it simply, Felix was beautiful.

As I took the last bite of my food, my ‘date’ pulled a clean tissue from his pocket and wiped the corners of my mouth. He then took the rubbish from my hands to toss it.

“If you hadn’t guessed–” he held both my hands to pull me up– “we’re going to the fair. We’ll play some games, I’ll do my best to win you something despite the fact the system is rigged, and we’ll end the night on the ferris wheel.”

Before I could respond, Felix was already tugging me along as he dashed in past the gates, laughing maniacally and I couldn't help but burst out in laughter with him.

I could smell his cologne as it enveloped me. I felt like sinking into his blazer that he passed me as soon as we got into the cab of the ferris wheel.

“I can’t believe you ended up winning this for me,” Felix sulked holding up the dinosaur plushie.

“Sorry. Should I keep it for myself instead?” I teased reaching out for it and he quickly pulled it back to him in a hug.

“No. I just hoped this date would go as planned.”

I scoffed playfully in response, looking out at the lights below. Despite the fact that Felix thinks his plan went slightly off track, it was still amazing. Playing games with Felix, cracking jokes and simply enjoying each other’s company made it the perfect first date. My heart palpitated just thinking back to when the night started up until now and I couldn't believe how it was making me feel.

I looked over at Felix and locked eyes with him. The way he was looking at me made my heart stop palpitating and instead clench. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach go crazy with the way his gaze held mine. It was as if I was the only thing that existed to him at that moment.

Or at least, that's what I had hoped.

I looked back to the lights below and cleared my throat.

“Geez Felix, you’re really taking this ‘first date’ role seriously huh?” The ground got closer and the ride went slower as our time on the ferris wheel ended.

Felix smiles his usual grin that turned his eyes to half crescents. “Of course! As I said, I’m making sure this was the best first date ever.”

Ah yes, he was just completely immersed in his act.

Unfortunately, I was also completely immersed in his act and I couldn't help but long for the night to stretch out just a little bit longer.

We stood outside my apartment door and reality was slowly starting to come back to me.

I moved to take off the blazer to pass it back to Felix but he only shook his head and pulled it back onto my shoulders. “It’s fine, you gotta keep the look complete right?”

“Right… I want to thank you for today. It was honestly the best first date I could’ve hoped for and I really appreciate the time and effort you put into making it the best for me.”

The grin on his face was now a soft smile as he looked down at me.

“It was no problem at all. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Whether it was intentional or not, Felix was back in his awkward state.

“Well, I should head in. Get home safe.” I turned to unlock my door but Felix caught my wrist, pulling me back to him gently.

“Wait, we should end this properly,” he stepped closer to me and lifted his hand to cup my cheek, “(Y/n), can I kiss you?”

His eyes bore into mine and had me trapped. I couldn't look away. It was as if he had some sort of power to reel me in and leave me speechless. I merely nodded my head.

I caught a glimpse of a small smile before he dipped his head down and captured my lips with his. Although it was very brief, I reveled in every second of it before he pulled away.

With a small wave and sad heart, I thanked him as I closed the door.

The idea of my best friend taking me out on the best date ever was good but I had stupidly fallen for him. Heartbreakingly enough, we were no longer two people on a date but two best friends, and for the sake of my heart and sanity, I had to pretend one of the best nights of my life had never happened.

I like the concept and the narrative and how I picture this in my head but I don’t think I’ve conveyed it to the best of my abilities here lol. I kinda just wanted to post something.

Anyways this might have a part two so lemme know if you want one !!

Request here, follow here and read my other works here !!

#lee felix #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #stray kids imagine #lee felix imagines #lee felix oneshot #lee felix imagine

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