#I loved the concept of it but its poorly executed

[valentinxd]

SHAPE YOU.

You’re a disgruntled line cook who Donaka sees as a challenge.

Pairing: Donaka Mark x Female Reader

About Reader: 30-year-old woman, disheveled, sweaty, uncomfortable within one’s skin, borderline exhausted, lack of self-care, quite possibly has identity issues

Note: This isn’t meant for the reader to be “not like other girls” nor do I want to play on that trope, I just love the idea of a well-groomed man wanting to take on a mess of a person. This is also going on with the kinks I previously posted about him wanting to change the reader for his liking. (not the best writing on my end)

Warnings: Mostly in the About Reader part, the reader is insecure and oftentimes in her own head, Donaka wants to change her into what he thinks you should be, sexism on his part? maybe?

You got a job at one of his bars. Most of the women there had great people skills, good at serving, bartending, anything being in public. You didn’t. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to you just didn’t know how. You were always a bit in your head to notice the world around you, you tried retail and hated it. You found the busy hidden world of the kitchen a lot more to your liking.

You got to hide in the back, working away on whatever high priced bullshit nonsense was on the menu, shove your arms in hot water scrubbing dishes, and polishing crystal bar glasses for the bartenders.

You would watch your coworkers, knowing how to dress, how to act, how to smile, what was fashionable and what wasn’t with a sense of awe and love. A part of you wanted to be like them, you just didn’t know how or feel like you had the time to put in the extra effort.

You were always exhausted, always a little too much in your own world to notice. But that didn’t mean someone you weren’t noticed. You just assumed you were just another disheveled food service worker for Donaka Mark, assuming the one percent like him every paid attention to you.

He did.

One of his favorite girls at the bar was in the corner eating some food with a couple other of girls, they had snuck back to the kitchen while you were cleaning up and entered in a “mistake order.” You were aware that being a server and bartender meant little to no breaks especially during peak hours so you made sure to give them something to eat lest they pass out.

All three girls stopped when the tall man looked at them, his dark obsidian eyes narrowing slightly. Out of fear they pointed at the back door. He went to confront to whatever out of line cook that was stealing from him. He found you out back smoking a cigarette, your apron dirty, a few bandaids on your left hand and your hair a greasy mess tied back into an attempted bun.

There was just something about you that interested him, he normally would never pay attention to girls like you as you clearly didn’t put the effort into your appearance but the way you tilted your head and raised your eyebrows with the cigarette lazily in your mouth there he only walked away.

You got told that wasn’t a thing and you should count your days.

At the end of your shift, you walked over to the bar, and one of the workers there gave you a beer. You let your hair down and he came to the conclusion that if he could take innocent people and make them killers he could change every part of you.

So of course you found it odd when he would offer you a better-paying position to be a server. You couldn’t tell your boss no, unless you wanted to sleep in the dirt permanently.

He slowly and gradually got you to change bit by bit, redoing your hair to a better color, changing the style, and wearing more makeup. This didn’t change your normal demeanor however, you would sit awkwardly in a barely-there skirt, pick at the fake nails, and stare off into space. You always felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable in your own skin but that drove his resolve further.

Donaka Mark always got what he wanted, he always did.

At some point, you were going to become the woman he wanted you to be, soul, mind, and body.

Then you would be completely his.

[theboobdraws]

sorry folks im posting my huge backlog of talloraven sketches and taking up the tags and feed, god forgive me etc etc. cowboys upon ye aces and eights except its super gay

their names are desden drake and james o’halloran/jesse ari smith, later jesse ari drake. i have a lot of thoughts about these two but the gist is that dresden was a bounty hunter looking for the infamous witch of los angeles james o’halloran but fell in love with the gorgeous doctor smith along the way, shenanigans ensue, and they both become outlaws bonnie and clyde style. yes they die tragically young in the end what else do u expect

[misscrawfords]

The following plot is so tedious to me:

- heroine is supposedly bad and clumsy at stuff, an underdog, doesn't believe in herself

- there's a guy who is very, very hot but in a dangerous way and he's real mean, guys, real mean and she really hates him and there's good reason because he is so mean, just so mean

- he clearly hates her too for being the enemy or for being weak or being clumsy or whatever

- except that he keeps failing to kill her when he has the chance and his insults sound weirdly like ~advice on how to survive the difficult situation they're both in and sometimes he smirks at her and it's weirdly ~hot except that's IMPOSSIBLE and she is so definitely not attracted to him because that would be STUPID when he is so MEAN and he wants to KILL her

- until one day it turns out to her COMPLETE AND UTTER SURPRISE that isn't trying to kill her at all, he's actually PROTECTING her and he's been so HARD and MEAN to make her tougher because he has seen her POTENTIAL

- and then they kiss

The thing is. I could absolutely love this plot and I do when it's done right. Because enemies to lovers can be excellent and people concealing their motivations and not being what they seem is also excellent. But the problem is how poorly it's executed. There are several issues:

- this plot and characterisation is now so standard that as soon as a male character is described as antagonistic and yet conventionally attractive, I expect him to be madly in love with the heroine for no reason and I'm instantly reading a double motivation into everything he says or does. This is a problem in the hands of an unskilled writer because it means his antagonism poses absolutely no threat. Of course he's not going to kill the heroine! He's growling in a threateningly constipated way because he's trying to conceal his boner! The apparently subtle, hidden motivation is neither subtle nor hidden to the reader.

- Well, okay, fine, you might say. Why should it be subtle or hidden? It's okay to know genre expectations in advance! We all know Poirot will find the killer! Yes, but we don't know who the killer is, right? There needs to be some kind of mystery! If I can see the massive plot twist coming from the first paragraph in which the character is introduced then it's a really shitty plot twist!

- Furthermore, it makes the heroine look UNBELIEVABLY STUPID. This is particularly a problem in stories which are setting the heroine up to be SUPER SMART. If they are this clever, getting by on their wits, self-aware, why are they SO FUCKING OBLIVIOUS to the fact that the hot guy who they're obsessed with is really into them? "Why isn't he trying to kill me?" she muses thoughtfully to the reader. "I wonder what Machiavellian game he's playing?" she debates with herself endlessly. HE WANTS TO FUCK YOU, ROSEBUD, it's not that deep. If this were a genuine mystery, the reader could analyse it alongside the heroine, and feel shock at the revelation too but instead she comes across as an absolute moron and none of her internal debates are remotely interesting.

- ah, I hear you say, but haven't you forgotten the concept of dramatic irony? Knowing that Hector will die doesn't lessen the impact of hearing him debate whether to go out and fight Achilles and in fact increases pathos and tragedy. So surely knowing where a plot is going doesn't lessen its impact? Well, first of all you're not Homer writing the Iliad, Shirley, so jot that down. I just think you have to have some concept of writers craft to pull of dramatic irony successfully. If the narrative was ironic or even mocking towards the supposedly smart heroine's blindspots that would be one thing. If there were actual consequences to her for being a dumbass that would be another. But the narrative doesn't do that. It asks us with complete seriousness to believe Hot Mean Dude is a massive threat to heroine and that heroine is a very super intelligent super smart person. The narration of these books is SO flat. And first person present tense? Good grief, it's the WORST.

Beyond all this, I realise yet again how different my taste in men is to, apparently, most women. Massive dudes with muscles, tattoos and weird eyes who insult me continuously just aren't of any interest to me at all. I'm bored just reading a description of their appearance clearly designed to arouse female readers. Physically, emotionally, anything. I'd be off pining over a scrawny bookworm with asthma who's a minor character there to make witty quips under his breath, show me no interest whatsoever, and die pathetically in the final battle of book 2 out of 3.

And relatedly, I'd love to read about a heroine who is clever and competent and interesting. Like, genuinely. But the problem is their stories being told in first person, present tense. It's the most intimate of narrative styles which means if the narrative is dull, wooden, lacks flair or style or interest and yet is apparently the inner narration of the Smartest Person Ever, it's quite hard to suspend my disbelief.

Writers need to study the art of narratology a bit more and how being an unreliable narrator should extend beyond not picking up on the fact that you have the hots for your hot enemy who also has the hots for you.

[yuikomorii]

In your opinion, how would you rank the games from best to worst written?

// As much as I love DL, I feel like a lot of the games were somewhat unnecessary, since they added very little to the story. That said, I’m sure there are people who genuinely love every single one of them and I totally respect that!

1. Dark Fate

Each route featured plot, character development, and romance. The introduction of the Founders was interesting, and they made for some really compelling villains too! It’s not a flawless game, but definitely the coolest one of the franchise.

WALL

2. Lunatic Parade

I know it’s just a fanservice game, but the concept of Yui’s heart being replaced with a Kleinod and her needing to reclaim it with the help of the Diaboy of her choice was really touching. You could clearly see how desperate everyone was to save the person they loved, proving that their feelings were pure.

3. Chaos Lineage

It’s frustrating how much potential this game had, only for it to be so poorly executed. But, no one can deny that it showed character growth not just in terms of their own personality, but also in how the characters’ relationships evolved. I didn’t like it at first, but then I started paying more attention to the dialogue, and realized that the interactions were really engaging.

4. More Blood

I agree that the Sakamaki routes were boring and downright frustrating, but the Mukami lore was so entertaining! I also liked how even the Sakamakis were shown to be capable of genuine love by the end of their routes. They weren’t completely softened, but there was visible development, which was nice to see.

5. Vandead Carnival

Overall, it was a cute game, though the writing was dumb at times. I only ranked it this “high” because at least the routes were less repetitive than what’s next.

6. First game/ unofficially called HDB

Did it have funny scenes? Yes. Did it have fanservice? Absolutely. But did it have an actual plot? Not really. The closest thing to a storyline was in Reiji’s route, and even then, it only showed up in the last section. The whole game is basically just fetish content for masochists, with repetitive chapters, which is fine if you’re into that, but there wasn’t any development that could be called real development. In the book, it’s literally confirmed that there was no true love between Yui and any Diaboy, so in the end, it all felt kinda pointless.

7. Lost Eden

What’s worse than having no plot? Having a bad plot. This game had no reason to exist, especially since DF already gave the franchise a perfect ending. Not only that, but it unnecessarily ruined so many relationships between the characters. At least with HDB, you knew what you were getting into with its S&M themes. But here? The bad events weren’t even the fanservice type—they were straight-up torture p0rn. This game was so dark that it was boycotted in some countries and remains the lowest-rated Diabolik Lovers game to date for a good reason. It’s just that, for me, the other games delivered a better experience.

[sandsoftide]

Haven’t seen enough people talking about why timebomb and specifically ekko also suffered from arcane s2 being bad. Spoilers and crit

I’ll say more in depth later when I have gone back and revisited it with a clearer head and let me make it entirely clear I LIKE timebomb in concept. Much like caitvi. Like I see the vision I just don’t like a lot of the creative choices

Ekko in s1 was a REVOLUTIONARY he built the firelights w his own two hands and was sort of a foil to jinx and silco, he hated them but he wasn’t going to roll over to piltover either. He wanted independence but not through exploitation. He was a leader and a caretaker and mature beyond his years bc he was forced to be. And he hates Jinx bc she reminds him of that trauma and he’s betrayed by what she became like there’s SO much there look at it

In s2 he goes “hm my tree is being weird” and then gets sucked into the timey wimey thing and disappears for a whole act and the firelights aren’t even MENTIONED (and ik he wasn’t a major character in s1 either but like, he was still important and relevant to the plot throughout bc of the firelights?)

Then he gets sucked into this au portal (cool concept and cool execution) and falls in love with powder or whatever. And she ISNT JINX. SHE IS NOT THE JINX WE KNOW BC JINX IN MAIN TIMELINE IS FULLY BUILT FROM HER EXPERIENCES AND TRAUMA AND MENTAL ILLNESS. Like what Jayce said to viktor that’s part of her whether it hurts her or not. Her trauma doesn’t define her but it’s a part of her! And then all of a sudden Ekko’s sad bc he misses jinx (who iirc last time he met they had the whole I hate you and I miss you talk and they fought and both thought the other dead or whatever?) and then he’s talking her off the ledge even though he has absolutely no reason to! Because he DOESNT KNOW HER he knows literally nothing she’s done since s1 finale!!! Even the “jinx as a symbol for revolution” stuff from act 1 that went nowhere he would know NOTHING ABOUT bc he basically immediately went to Jayce? And they never did the revolutionary jinx stuff that was implied w the flag waving either so there’s no connection there either

Like a full episode was spent developing timebomb and it was interesting but also contributed nothing bc that is not jinx. She just feels like a mpdg and he doesn’t feel like ekko bc he needs to be in love w her for the plot? So they do absolutely nothing interesting they could for timebomb and still make it the entirety of ekko’s plot while tossing out the firelights and the zaun v. Piltover plotline as a whole

i mean again its hard to say bc this is right. objectively. like the stuff w timebomb was objectively well written. i just feel like it doesnt give ekko the space to be his own character outside of the ship? my point isnt that the stuff was poorly written i actually enjoyed it a lot and i think they did a good job w it i just also feel like it does ekko a disservice to have that be his only plotline and how it doesnt feel like it connects to his character in s1

i feel similarly about other plots in s2, like mel's. like yes this is good stuff! i love seeing mel in the spotlight the black rose magic stuff is interesting in a vacuum but also its totally separate from the interesting thematic roles in s1 that dealt with AGAIN THE CLASS CONFLICT AND POLITICS and dropping that for something different feels. like its a disservice to the characters, i guess?

also by having the timebomb development take place primarily in an au with powder and NOT jinx we dont really get to see jinx's thoughts at all. it feels like a repeat of s1 where someone is trying to save POWDER and not jinx, they dont see her as who she is now but rather who she was or could have been. which couldve been interesting to explore but they clearly werent interested in that ANYWAYS

[filledtothebrimothy]

ok fellow yttd fans i have a genuine question.

i’ve been into yttd for quite some time now—since around 2020. However, i’ve never really been too deep into its fandom space, whether that be tumblr, twt, or whatever else, so i dont rlly know the fanbase’s general consensus on some things

so like…wtf do we think of the ranmaru crash outs (both logic and emotion route) … like am i missing something.

bc like i LOVE the ideas behind both. i think ranmaru kinda “snapping” in different ways depending on sara’s mental state is an amazing idea that rlly highlights his desperation and evolution into codependency, and the individual concepts are incredible, too—but i fear they were both executed so poorly???

like /gen is there something im missing or do we all agree ranmaru was kinda fumbled

[smoothoperador]

I struggle to see how an album cover that plays so much into stereotypical depictions of traditional heterosexual relationships and female submission can be subversive or groundbreaking or any other thing she's being praised for. I understand the intent was satirical and tongue-in-cheek, I know Sabrina and I'm not stupid. I just think it's poorly executed. Satire exaggerates characteristics of what it denounces to showcase its absurdity—there's nothing exaggerated here, this album cover is like straight up a real scene you'd find on a 1950s ad. Why is a concept meant to empower women making women uncomfortable, and not the straight men it's supposed to ridicule? (I'm not saying Sabrina herself wants to empower women, she never claimed anything of the sort about the album, I'm talking about the people who say this cover is symbolism for a feminist narrative of reclaiming her sexuality and position in Hollywood or whatever.)

I'm still holding out for the album, I love dog motifs in art and I think there's so much to explore there (themes of loyalty/devotion/coming back again and again to the hand that mistreats and feeds you...), but I hate this cover. I think a much better cover that would've driven the point home without the frankly uncomfortable male-gazey undertones would've been a close-up of her neck in which she's wearing the Man's best friend dog collar, similar to the other pic of the dog she shared.

I don't know, I loved eics and sns to some extent, I love her silliness and how apologetically fun and horny she is but she doesn't subvert any expectation, she plays the submissive tradwife role straight so I don't know how that's "reclaiming" anything. And you know what, good for her if that's the life and sexuality she enjoys! She doesn't have to make actively feminist content or be an upstanding standard for women everywhere she can just make shit she likes if she so pleases. But don't try to tell me that that choice of album cover specifically is somehow feminist or empowering because ?? Like you've got tons of real men in the comments unironically saying shit like "yeahh on the floor where a woman belongs". They believe that. They don't sense the satire. They think that kind of imagery is for them and I feel deeply uncomfortable about the normalization of those visuals in their communities.

And for the love of god I don't careeeee that she's kinky I don't care she likes her hair pulled and she's always been sexual girl I GOT THAT. Fuck I got that within three seconds of her Feather-era rebrand I'm not stupiddd but you guys must be of horrible bad faith if you fail to acknowledge that this runs so much deeper than just 'being fun and kinky'.

[sloshr]

After watching through Side Order... I have a Few Thoughts.

[Spoilers ahead]

My Review of the Side Order DLC - Its little more than Gameplay.

Initial Opinion

- - - - - - - - - -

Overall; I like the gameplay mechanics initially, but the story absolutely feels lacking to me, imo. It feels like they were really banking on Side Order being Hard but... multiple of my friends finished it on their 2nd or 3rd run through the Spire.

That in itself isnt a problem! But... everyone felt sort of unsatisfied? There were no developments in the story, as we, Agent 8, were just assigned the task to Get to The Top of the Spire -> The Player Does That -> You beat a Boss -> Credits Roll (?)

On my watchthrough I literally said Please Say Sike 😭 because, dont take this poorly, but they were advertising Side Order as;

• Difficult (stated Multiple Times in basically every Trailer)

• Story Driven (You Uncover things as You Climb)

• Character and Lore Intensive (as shown by the trailers with all the concept art as well as promo art)

I dont feel like it was wrong to expect more based on how it was advertised.

But... if you complete the DLC in 1-2 runs, which is Very Much Possible, no buildup happens at all. The story was banking on the player struggling, and putting all the content behind repeat runs, which falls through and Doesnt really work/feel satisfying if the main goal is achieved in such a short time. I Feel like anyone who regularly plays Salmon Run will likely have a similar experience. And I feel kind of cheated? Because what we got was something that was Tell Not Show rather than the Show, Not Tell formula. And in my opinion, it really doesn't work as well at all. It puts all the major lore that the game has set up behind repetetive climbs (which never change btw, despite each climb being generated differently, its the same after a while) and you get about 1 Sentence of Exposition, with a Modlog from Marina if you are Lucky.

Side Order was (to me), after watching it all;

• Not Difficult, But Repetetive Gameplay (This easily runs people down, which would be fine if the tower had more than 1 setup or phase)

• Inital Story Setup with no complexities or stages. You climb the first Tower, Save Marina, Climb the Second Tower, Beat Order, and the credits Roll. In its most complex, you could fit what Side Order's Story is in 2-3 Sentences. Rather than Lore being revealed During the story, it feels Pushed to the Side as all of it is either in Text the player may never see (different climbs) or care to read (Marina's Mod Log)

• Use of Character Drops with no explaination / mention (The Agent 4 Boss, Anyone?) (This felt very Bait-y, with No Payoff)

Rating

- - - - -

If I had to give Side Order a Rating

4/10. At Best.

I am a bit disappointed with this as I feel like I was promised more, Storywise, and honestly a bit gameplay wise. I think it fails where other DLC has succeeded Due to being Built in such a way where anything engaging is stuck behind barely changing gameplay. It is not built in a way where the experience cant fail to show you whats important to the characters and the worldbuilding. It relies too much on telling you whats happening rather than the world showing you. Its too Simple, and It Doesnt Work, personally, in a series that contains Octo Expansion.

Which is Sad to me!! It had so much wasted potential and I really hope this isn't the last we're going to see of the concept, we get to see ideas actually built into the story, and... maybe find Agent 4.

Conclusion

- - - - - - - -

Tldr; Side Order had a good concept, but failed in execution for being simple and gameplay dependent, which was ultimately disappointing due to it being advertised as something more for all involved.

It was an alright attempt. The experience will just be known to me as... well. Baby's First Rouge-like. Nothing worldbreaking.

(PS, this isnt meant to be mean spirited or overly critical, I just love the Splatoon Series so I give it Tough Love. This is just my personal view on the DLC)

Thank you for Reading! Feel free to share or add any thoughts!

[qcellbit]

meta talk. i don't quite know how to word this properly, but adding french creators to the qsmp is the riskiest thing quackity studios could've done and it doesn't surprise me that the success to which it was executed was minimal.

adding portuguese speaking creators exclusively from brazil as the first batch outside of the initial english and spanish speakers was the perfect "soft expansion" for the server when you consider the reason for the project's conception - because quackity had experienced poor treatment from white americans as a bilingual latino creator and sought to unite his two communities in an empowering way, further expanding this very noble and personal idea to encapsulate all communities and all languages spanning across the entire world. inviting more latino creators who have likely had the same experiences and would be able to appreciate what the project is trying to achieve is a no-brainer.

it's an uncomfortable thing to touch on (which is why i've never, ever, seen it spoken about on this website), but minecraft projects and communities have always had massive problems with all forms of bigotry, but especially racism. white americans and white europeans have probably not felt the euphoria of seeing their culture celebrated in mainstream global entertainment projects as they already absolutely dominate the entertainment industry on a global scale. as someone who is visibly brown and living in europe, i've always got a lot of grief from classmates and co-workers in the form of ignorant jokes and flat out exclusion - it's an unfortunate cultural norm that bleeds into streaming due to the medium's casual and open nature, unnoticed or unchallenged by white viewers who don't want to have to confront a content creator's bigotry in fears of having to stop watching them. something that cannot be ignored by the people it's actually affecting. there is a reason dsmp and hermitcraft cosplay meet ups are dominated by pale skin.

i love the qsmp because its inclusion of latin american creators and quackity's selectiveness based on personal experience have largely (and i do mean largely, not entirely, but that's a discussion for another day) eliminated that problem.

the most prominent and succinct example i can think of is the photo of quackity's bedroom that was mocked countless times by his english speaking community and his bigoted english speaking friends when he streamed on the dsmp - when that photo was brought to the qsmp, forever, a fellow latino creator, was the first person to gently offer solidarity because he had come from the same impoverished latin american background. to me, and to a lot of minorities, that is what the qsmp is about. yeah, sharing languages in a minecraft server is novel, it's a fun way for americans who did poorly in high school to get back into learning spanish, but it stands for so much more when you're a racial minority. when your pleading in the dsmp fandom was drowned out and ignored for the entire duration of its run. when you're completely unrepresented in minecraft tournaments, and when known bigots are encouraged to participate in said tournaments to boost viewership because numbers are paramount. when you are finally seeing your culture appreciated rather than mocked on streams with tens of thousands of viewers all over the world as part of a massive project with a brilliant, engaging story.

it was obviously necessary to branch out of the americas at some point with what the project is attempting to achieve, but such a task is daunting when the next group you're inviting and their community probably do not have the capacity through personal experience to appreciate what the project stands for at its core in the same way the first batches do. can non americans all relate in discussions of the internet and entertainment industry being america and by extension english speaking centric? yeah, of course. but can white europeans relate when the only representation you have in said media revolves around harmful bigoted stereotypes? can there be a quiet solidarity between a white frenchman and a brown brazilian based on experiences with government, racial profiling, and online mockery? no. and in the landscape of livestreaming stupid jokes for entertainment alongside fast paced gameplay, these nuances are probably not going to be acknowledged.

in complete contrast to the solidarity exhibited between quackity and forever when discussing their poverty growing up in latin america, i have not forgotten and never will forget aypierre excusing his constant racist jokes aimed at the brazilians on his uniquely "french dark humour" that the brazilians, hurt by his comments, could "not understand." this is not an excusable cultural difference, but a symptom of white european privilege, and total ignorance towards what the project is meant to stand for. a smooth integration of all the world's cultures necessitates white european and white american introspection in a way that i haven't seen a lot of streamers capable of. admitting fault to such a degree and the ego of a large online personality do not often mesh well.

i'm always very irritated when people (especially english speakers) complain about them not "adding the germans" sooner despite us seeing applications for german speaking admins many months ago - because it would not be a task of simply throwing out server invites to content creators and cobbling together an animation of a submarine crashing into the island. you cannot downplay the ambition of this project and the mammoth task its trying to accomplish. people take for granted and forget that this is an unprecedented melding of cultures that would never otherwise interact and clash on the rare occasions they do. the french qsmp community being small and the french creators largely being outliers when it comes to the qsmp is not something born out of malice or purposeful exclusion, but simply a symptom of an unspoken lack of solidarity and inability to meaningfully relate based on everything from wildly varying privilege to global placement.

and don't get me wrong - i'm not excusing things like the times at which events are broadcast (i literally live in europe and have to stay up until sunrise to see most events, i think the admins do have to bite the bullet and begin structuring events around a new timezone that isn't the globally inconvenient unsustainable PST), or the exclusion of clips from french content creators at the presidential dinner, but i think attributing those admin choices to the brazilian community being unfairly favoured is downplaying what the qsmp as a project means for minorities, especially when the brazilian community receive the most scorn for infamously being the first to call out bigoted behaviour from qsmp content creators. yeah, it sucks that the french haven't slotted into the qsmp as well as the brazilians and aren't anywhere as numerous, but with all these unspoken contributing factors being taken into account, i can't be surprised.

i wish quackity and his team the best in smoothly integrating more languages and cultures in this amazing project in the future, but for the love of god please understand that the implications of this project and its impact are far larger than any streamer "drama" you might've witnessed in the past. and stop underplaying what this project is trying to achieve in an online landscape saturated in bigotry.

[a-m-w-worlds]

Scooby-Doo Analysis: Why Scrappy-Doo is a Poorly Executed Good Idea

 (Warning, many personal opinions ahead!)

Scrappy-Doo's tenure as a main character in the Scooby-Doo franchise is loved by some and hated by many. Personally, I'm not a big fan of most Scooby-Doo projects from the 80's (with the exception of Scooby-Doo! and the Ghoul School and A Pup Named Scooby-Doo!), but the thing that stands out to me about Scrappy in particular is that he's not a bad idea.

Honestly, I think Scrappy is a good idea on paper, the problem is just bad execution.

Giving Scooby a fearless and naïve nephew who genuinely thinks he can take the monsters in a fight and consistently needs to be rescued by Shaggy and Scooby, who know better, is actually a really fun concept. I think it's really endearing when Shag and Scoob have kids put in their care and they have to step up and be brave for them. You see this with the Grimwood Girls in the aforementioned Ghoul School and with the Secret Six puppies and the campers in Camp Comeoniwannascareya from What's New, Scooby-Doo?. I just find this kind of dynamic really fun to watch, it's cute, really stinkin' cute, ya know? And I wish that I got the same feeling from Scrappy.

This could be the subject of its own post, but my dream Scooby-Doo project is a remake of the 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo. If that ever happened, I would actually love to see Scrappy make a comeback in a revamped form!

So, let's try to figure out why Scrappy is so disliked and what can be done to fix it!

Design

Okay, honestly, I don't think this is that bad of a design./gen The problem is that it feels more like it belongs in cartoons with the likes of Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, and Snagglepuss that are more heavily stylized and "cartoony" than in the semi-realistic world of Scooby-Doo. For reference, here's Scooby.

No, Scooby is not perfectly realistic, but his proportions are much closer to those of a real dog than Scrappy's. Scrappy almost feels like he exists in a different art style than the rest of the gang. The main offenders in his design being his huge head/tiny body, not very dog-like body, and the fact he typically walks upright. The few times he does walk on all fours he looks unbalanced because of the wonky head/body ratio. (I tried to find a picture of this rare phenomenon, but Scrappy's lawyer seems to have wiped all photographic evidence from the internet!/hj)

So, the first step in fixing Scrappy is just giving him better proportions and a slightly more dog-like body.

I think the Secret Six are a good example of how far a more dog-like body can go.

The have similar big head/small body proportions to Scrappy but have much bigger paws and are generally more "dog-shaped", which helps a lot!

Likewise, Scooby's design in A Pup Named Scooby-Doo! is a great example of improved proportions.

He's much less realistic than his adult counterpart but his head/body ratio is much more well-balanced than Scrappy. (And this design is just much cuter in opinion, is that just me?)

Voice, Dialogue, and Behavior

This is the section where I think a lot of the Scrappy hate comes from. (Quick disclaimer, I have not watched the entirety of the Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo Show and most of what I have seen past season one I have not seen in many, many, many years. Even as a small child I hated how unstructured and nonsensical it was, yes, I was pretentious, no, nothing has changed!/lh/t But the point is, my memory is probably a little fuzzy, so keep that in mind!)

If Scrappy was brought back in a new series or movie one of the first changes I would make would be having him be voiced by an actual child. Adults often voice kids in long-running series for the sake of keeping the voice consistent and they usually do a good job, but I honestly think Scrappy would benefit from being voiced by a real kid. I think that would bring a lot of sincerity that Scrappy typically lacks.

Dialogue and behavior are a little trickier. If you remember "Uncle Scooby", "PUPPY POWER!", "let me at 'em!", and "I'm gonna splat 'em!", then you remember half of all Scrappy-Doo dialogue. Now, none of Scrappy's little catchphrases are inherently bad. They actually have the potential to be really cute, especially if said by that theoretical child actor, the problem is just that they get overused. Variations of these same few lines get used again and again and become annoying. I think moderation is the solution to this one!

Now, to the meat of my issue with Scrappy-Doo as a character; why does he act like a mini adult? This frustrates me to no end! Every time he gets in trouble, he uses the excuse "I'm just a puppy!" Really, Scrappy? Really? You're smart enough to think up elaborate "Scrappy Traps", keep Shaggy and Scooby on track, and run whole freaking con jobs with Flim-Flam, but you're not smart enough to realize you can't take the monster in a fist fight? Really?

The rest of you see the discrepancy, right? It's not all in my head?

I genuinely love that Scrappy is literally scrappy. It's great that this little guy™ truly believes he can beat all the big scary monsters in a fight and that his globe-trotting, mystery-solving uncle is a fearless and heroic role model. These are great attributes for a little kid character, but most of the time Scrappy is not filling a little kid role.

Shaggy and Scooby need a "straight man" to bounce off of and once Fred, Velma, and Daphne were dropped from the series, Scrappy is the only one left to fill that role. This is such wasted potential. The point of bringing in a child for Scooby and Shaggy to look after should be to force them to step up, be the adults in a way they normally don't have to, and engage with the story in ways they typically would avoid. But Scrappy only does this part of the time because the rest of the time he's filling in for other characters. For some reason this still continues even after Daphne is reintroduced, with her and Scrappy becoming co-holders of the sacred brain cell. Why? This decision is baffling to me.

Also, he doesn't just act like a mini adult, he acts like a mini human adult. Admittedly, this is a criticism that can be leveled at the Doo family in its entirety. Scooby, I think is mostly okay in that regard, but many of his relatives lean way to close to the human side of the spectrum for it to be funny or comfortable, like, they're fully in Pinkie Cooper territory!

So, if I was going to reinvent Scrappy, I'd put a lot of focus on letting him be a child, not a mini adult, and more specifically making him be more of a puppy. Puppies are adorable, destructive, certified land piranhas. How endearing would it be if Scrappy actually acted like that? What if instead of trying to fist fight all the ghoulies he bit and chewed them instead? Imagine how cute it would be to watch him try to chew a zombie's shoe or latch onto a vampire's cape and through a mouthful of fabric gleefully shout, "I got 'em!"

It would be cute, right?

Overuse

The final problem is just that when he's there, he's always there. For the majority of the 80's Scrappy was a permanent member of the character roster, a status not even Fred or Velma had. The result was just an oversaturation of Scrappy.

If he was ever to be brought back, I think he should be used much more sparingly, just being a recurring character in a few episodes here or there, more like Scooby-Dum is in The Scooby-Doo Show. This makes it less likely that fans will get sick of him and also potentially solve the final problem that's been bugging me about Scrappy; where is his mom?

Ruby-Doo, Scooby's sister and Scrappy's mom, only appeared in a single episode of the Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo series and that was a flashback episode, which begs the questions, Ruby-Doo, Where are You?

Why did she ship off her only child to her brother and let him go on life-threatening adventures? I've pondered this question for many years and so far haven't come up with an answer that isn't weirdly dark for Scooby-Doo. If Scrappy was just around occasionally though it would be a lot easier to say he's visiting Uncle Scooby for the weekend or Shaggy and Scooby are babysitting for a couple of days. Ruby would also be a recurring character in this scenario, and we could see her actually being a part of her son's and brother's lives, which, at this point, is kind of a novel concept!/lh

So, there you go! Those are my thoughts on Scrappy-Doo! I hope you found this an enjoyable read and if you made it this far, thank you!/gen

[lauri-rosehearts]

Its taken me way too long to get to this but months ago when I asked for questions and post promps about EAH, one of the things I was asked about were my thoughts on Crystal Winter (shout out to @birdbombs714 for giving me an excuse to rant about this). I had to organize my thoughts but its taken me long enough so here it is.

Honestly, my thoughts on her as a character are far from unpopular. I wouldn’t say I HATE her but I definitely don’t care about her. Before I get into that, I’ll put in a positive note and say I do love her design. Granted, I still don’t understand how she’s literally grayish lavender when her parents have regular human skin tones…maybe its a recessive gene but I digress.

That being said, I think she’s very poorly written and it frustrates me because even though she has the protagonistic role in Epic Winter, she’s literally surrounded by characters with infinitely more depth and character growth than her. Even with characters like Rosabella, whose character doesn’t really quite go anywhere aside from aiding Daring in his own arc, I still genuinely like her because there’s alot of things they could’ve done with her without having to rewrite the entire base of her character (as in, had the series continued). But since Crystal is introduced in this movie without any previous establishment, you practically have to rewrite her character to make it interesting.

I think in concept, the whole “sheltered princess who learns to be self-reliant” thing is a solid enough idea for a character arc… and then it felt like they had no idea where to take the execution. Listen, I know this has been memed to death, but it really is true that them deciding to make her learning how to tie her shoes the central symbolism for her “growth” was laughably ridiculous. The writers seem to cherry pick when they want her to be smart. Like in the movie, when the team comes across a bump in the road, Crystal always manages to solve the problem with the first solution she can think of (lowkey sacrificing the other characters’ previously established intelligence in the process, since for most of the movie, they rely on her for answers ), but it takes her nearly an hour into the movie to figure out that the rose of winter is the same rose she was given at the beginning of the movie. I already ranted about that in a very recent post but it lacks all common sense given what we learn about the roses of the seasons.

Another thing about her is the fact that she doesn’t seem to have any major flaws aside from being too carefree and childish. I swear Jackie complains about the royal family like their tyrants who impose high taxes on the peasants. But thats clearly not the case cause everyone else loves them and Crystal genuinely seems enthusiastic to be queen for all the right reasons. Yeah she likes to have fun and too much of that could lead to a lack of responsibility for others, but with her compassion, I genuinely have a hard time thinking she would rule a kingdom failing to think about others. If they made Crystal more actively selfish and flawed, then I think Jackie’s motivation would make a lot more sense. And selfishness is a core theme of a lot of the characters in ever after high so it’s not like this would be totally off-base.

Given the fact that she has such laughably minor flaws, along with the fact that she ends up effortlessly solving half of the problems in the movie despite the narrative trying to feed you the idea that she needs to go through a character arc, it’s no wonder so many people feel like she’s a Mary Sue. Her character is the farthest thing from compelling, especially when you take into account that her best friends are Ashlyn and Briar, who, in my opinion have some of the most compelling character arcs in the show. But in this movie, they get lowkey sidelined for their childhood friend who’s character arc boils down to “I learned how to tie my shoes”. I don’t think epic winter is as bad as a movie as some people think, but I admittedly mainly come back to it for every other character aside from Crystal.

It’s very clear Crystal’s character could benefit from a rewrite, but even I’m not sure how I would rewrite her. I personally wouldn’t make her downright villainous the way some people have, mainly cause in the original fairytale, the Snow Queen while antagonistic is a neutral force if anything. She’s not as villainous as some people claim she is in my opinion. The only true genuine, pure evil in this story is the devil responsible for making the cursed mirror at the beginning. He’s the one who kickstarts the main conflict. The snow queen is more just an embodiment of the harshness of winter, rather than a pure force of evil like the Evil Queen or the Dark Fairy. Yeah, the Snow queen kidnaps and nearly freezes Kay, but that’s more of a symbolic representation of how deadly winter can be sometimes. Its in her nature. Especially given when Kay and Gerda manage to escape, she doesn’t even show up to try to stop them. So I think if we were to go the fairytale accurate route for Crystal, making her morally ambiguous/gray would help. Not exactly sure where we would take it from there, but it would make it more interesting at least.

I apologize is this went kinda off the rails but I realized even after months my thoughts aren’t as organized as I thought. 😭

[that-left-turn]

What is your favourite season and/or episode of twd? Are your professional opinion and personal preference the same? :)

Working in the industry has influenced how I watch a show, so I suspect my emotional response doesn’t venture too far from my professional one, but I haven’t really put any thought into the difference until now. So, we’ll see how they match up 🤓 For professional reasons, I’m kind of an omnivore—I’ll at least try to watch any show. Good writing (along with acting and directing) can make a tired concept shine and a poorly executed but original premise is worth a look-see. For one, I want to know what’s being produced and two, it’s good to analyze what went wrong and why.

Anyway. (That’s not what you asked about.) Back to TWD.

S1 has sound structure, which sounds boring, I know, but a screenplay depends on its frame. You can write a novel by the seat of your pants or by only knowing how it’ll end. You can discover the middle as you go along. A screenplay becomes a hot mess if you do that, so I appreciate that Darabont knows how to introduce characters and how to get from point A to point B. It’s readily apparent that he’s a feature director in how the story looks and feels. That said, I don’t connect, exactly, in the way he wanted his viewers to relate to the characters. After the pilot, I was much more interested in Morgan than Rick. I found the dynamic by the second fire at the quarry camp, when Shane asked Ed to keep the flame smaller, with Carol’s response to his greeting and how she had to jump up to remove the firewood, more compelling than the love triangle between Rick, Shane and Lori.

S2 is gorgeous. Very cinematic feel where shots linger on the little details, setting the right ambiance for the narrative. We get some commentary (offhand, but still) on the problematic issues, such as race and gender roles, which unfortunately are compounded and reinforced without self-reflection in latter seasons. (S3 has so many issues in this regard, along with the inability to focus on the core group.) S2 also adheres to classic horror tropes. The simplicity of its contained setting: the farm, the looming presence of the barn, the woods beyond, the abandoned town and creepy bar. Beth taking to bed, wanting to end it all is straightforward Southern Gothic. Carol, Andrea and Lori are all shaded, at turns, as the madwoman in the attic. Daryl is thrown from a horse, falling down the cliffside and talking to ‘ghosts.’ It's a very atmospheric season, faithful to the horror genre.

It does have pacing problems, but not as pronounced as the Gimple era with its time jumps and bottle episodes, which completely kill the momentum. There’s nothing wrong with the odd bottle episode (if you have enough time to explore an emotional arc more in-depth) but reliance on a ‘TV book of tricks’ usually means the showrunner doesn’t know how to plot a tight narrative and is trying to hide those deficiencies by confusing and distracting the viewers. The logic being, if the audience is trying to work out how the hockey sticks it all fits together, chances are they won’t notice plot holes or how flimsy/implausible it all is. It’s storytelling by manipulation.

S2 doesn’t do any of that, but it’s slow. Too slow for TV and for 10 episodes. At times, it feels like an art house movie and at other points, like we’re standing still, treading water. Whereas S1 was structured like an extended feature film, a 10-episode season is much too long for that. You end up with a sagging second act by imposing a large 3-act structure on something that should’ve been plotted by character arcs and micro missions.

TV writing is much more complex than a feature script because you have a larger main cast who all have their individual arcs that run over multiple episodes/seasons. The story engine of a TV show is also not equal to the central problem of a movie script. The former has to keep the show going for several seasons and each character has their own relationship to it, while the latter pertains to the hero only and has to be of a scope that can be solved in a 2-hour feature. (That got very technical, please don’t fall asleep 😬)

I wanted T-Dog to have a character arc in season 2. He’s the only S1 character who got none at all.

Over all, S10 is my favorite season. Yes, the cast is bloated at this point, but the narrative is centered on Michonne and Carol’s grief driven arcs, and Daryl comes into his own. He’s not a traditional leading man, but this season shows that he is so much more than the henchman of the hero. S10 is subtle and there’s great attention to detail in the writing. All the callbacks to previous seasons couldn’t have been done if the showrunner didn’t have thorough knowledge of the show in its entirety and a solid understanding of the characters’ emotional truths.

From a personal perspective, I like Kang’s use of comedic elements to heighten the drama. It affords the actors a different kind of challenge and after more than a decade as the same character, actors need that. (There’s only so many variations of a pretty cry.) Kang’s natural inclination veers more toward dramedy, but she’s also writing to the strength of her leads. Comedy is demanding for actors and requires a different skillset from drama.

Case in point, 1021 “Diverged.” I love the episode because of its comedic tone: it’s far removed from how we’ve ever seen Carol before, but she’s still in character. The poignancy of her sadness and her fears regarding herself and her relationship with Daryl is amplified by her attempt to entice a rat by waving a lettuce leaf in the air and chit-chatting with walkers as she casually stabs them in the head. It’s a bottle episode that trusts the actors—giving them the space to explore their characters’ emotional state—because so much of the action depends on physicality. The relative sparseness of dialogue might appear to be mundane, yet it reveals so much. Not only about Caryl’s relationship with each other, but the evolution of Jerry’s friendship with Ezekiel as he takes his first few steps away from being simply the wingman. And, most of the plot points are conveyed in tone and subtext rather than actual words.

It gets a little murky, when talking about individual episodes, to distill those down to ‘favorites,’ because what I like is often how something connects to a bigger arc. Sometimes, it’s the unrealized potential that grabs me. There’s a number of those in the middle seasons. I find Lizzie’s arc and how her trauma intersects with Carol’s fascinating, but the connective tissue is lacking. The way Beth and Carol fit into each other’s arcs was compelling, but completely lost because of a ridiculous offscreen insistence on framing a teenager as a viable love interest to a middle-aged man. I liked the interplay between Lennie and Melissa, but the way their characters were positioned as frenemies felt clunky and artificial and it ignored most of their backstories.

To answer your second question, I appreciate S1 in a more clinical, detached way and S2 resonates on an emotional level from its exploration of the human condition. S10 is where things meet for me. The viewers are expected to think for themselves, it’s not leading us by the nose. There’s enough emotional depth to dig in and I love the genre blending that’s a feature throughout the season. It does have its share of problems, too. For example, I didn’t like how Michonne’s exit was framed and the idea of Leah was introduced too late (or maybe too early) because of the way her storyline interlocks with the origin story of Daryl’s scar.

You don’t modify a character’s appearance in a way that costs money and requires more time in make-up for no reason.

Thank you for the ask! It’s different from the ones I usually get, so it was a nice change of pace.

[tangledbea]

A hill I will die on is the fact that the brotherhood were an amazing concept but there potential was wasted. I would have loved to see more of them but unfortunately they were only used when convenient for the plot.

I know for a fact that Adira falls into this, and I suspect the rest of the Brotherhood do, too: I was told by crew that they didn't know what to do with Adira. That they invented this cool character to fill a specific niche, but didn't know what else to have her do. That's why she was so in-and-out of the traveling party. That was why Cassandra's animosity towards her ended up being an animosity towards Rapunzel instead. And I suspect -- knowing what we know about the showrunner -- that dear CS was scared that people would like her more than Cassandra, just like how people liked Varian more. (Not everyone, obviously, but that he got such a big and loud fanbase clearly didn't sit well with Mr. Executive Producer.)

I also suspect that, if they didn't know what to do with Adira, they sure as hell didn't know what to do with the rest of the Brotherhood. That's why the Mind Trap is such a weird and poorly thought-out concept. (I maintain that the fact that a mind control device can be handed over to someone under its influence is insidious, but also backwards.)

Anyway, I'm not nearly as into the Brotherhood as a lot of the people who are active in the tags, but I agree that they're an amazing concept with wasted potential. There also should be more than four of them.

And also, unpopular opinion, but Varian isn't a part of the Brotherhood, just by association. He's got nothing to do with it. Neither does Eugene. Just because their dads are indoctrinated doesn't mean that they're going to follow suit. Neither one of them knew anything about it before the events of the series, and I somehow doubt they'd look at the Brotherhood now and say, "Yeah, I want to be a part of that!"

[chompmon]

I also just finished ch3 and man. It has some absolutely incredible building blocks that just werent used well.

A city that used to be ruled by a violent dictator(s), that went through some horrible things in quite recent memory, suddenly being liberated and left to build itself back up.... then some guy gives everyone the happiness and reassurance they desperately crave, ofc they re gonna adore him, who cares he's obviously spouting some vague cult bullshit?

You bring Yo in here, who's speedrunning almost every trauma imaginable and is overall doing very bad, the perfect target to be brainwashed by someone like Magata, who of course manages to soothe him and promise him exactly what he wants to hear.

You add the previous leader also coming back- fighting against this cult leader thats taken over the city, but of course, how could anyone forgive what ojiro did?

Magata not being "evil" really, just deeply interested in his research to the point he seems insane, to the point of- yknow, death. The cult leader isnt even doing this for any sort of power. He's not even experimenting on real people (anymore). A complete lack of care for what the AI hologram he left behind could do in his absence. It was a means to an end- and its not like you'll ever speak with the real Magata. He's dead. What's left behind is an empty husk with no real thoughts, feelings of ideas of his own.

These cool ideas combined-- brought down by the following:

1. You don't get a real sense of the danger that a cult-like figure like Magata can bring. The city is a bit creepy with the obsession with stteaming and magata himself, but its like, whatever. Most people are chillin. Most arent turning to crime or living in trash piles like in minato just to survive another day, or afraid of being literally executed like in shinagawa. We have no real reason to be horrified of Magata's existence and the effect he has had on neo chiyoda.

2. Nobody even entertains the idea of hearing Magata out, only Yo... and nobody wants to hear Yo out, either. Relating to point 1, we have no reason to be like "magata is dangerous and yo isn't thinking straight we need to save him" Cuz.... bro just said "we dont gotta fight we can work together" and that sounds perfectly reasonable. By the end we know he's an empty chatbot not worth listening to, and it's more obvious if you'e someone like Kazuki for example, but for the vast majority of thr chapter we didnt KNOW that. Hear the guy out

3. Q lowkey acting like he has any right to ask the city to accept him as their leader again. Honestly, the whole plot with the otori remnants being ostracised- no shit? I d hate the guys "just doing their job" in nazi germany times too like come the fuck on. I just think this is a poorly tackled topic, even tho i do like the base of Q facing his past and doing what he can to atone.

4. Yea Magata turning out half baked. I love his concept, he takes u by surprise the moment he opens his mouth, what with his soothing grandpa voice- but he's not treated with any nuance which kills any intrigue he couldve brought. I dont think the focus shouldve been on magata himself, rather what a figure like magata (ai or not) can do for a city like chiyoda. The way people cling to shallow hope, and how you can break a society out of that cycle. How you can encourage trusting eachother, not relying on a leader figure- frankly when q went "listen to me dont listen to him" (or smn) i got frustrated. No! The answer isnt to have a new "better" leader to answer to! Its self governance bitch!!

Then there s smaller things like Miu being there but wtf did she even do to justify her presence (please i need miu content i love her) saigo and enoki also being there but meh (they couldve really brough something new to the conversation of self governance and living through hard times, so the people of neo chiyoda could see how different cities live. They used to be kinda secluded before anyway, now even more so), the siblings not really giving me as much otori lore as i wanted (they were ojiro s servants, but how? Why? Why are they so devoted even after what ojiro did? Did they talk it out? Were they also kidnapped as kids, like kazuki and ojiro? What do they think of the previous leader? Etc)

Anyway yea obsessed with what this chapter couldve been

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Fiction doesn't have to reflect what would be healthy/unhealthy in real life. I like their codependency. I don't think there's anything wrong with that in a fictional context

Yeah, me too! I can love a weird relationship if the narrative believes in the story it's telling... but as always with anything TotK in my opinion, I don't think the game realizes that it's basically stunting the characters into a state of non-growth, having them cling to the past and the roles BotW forced them into (and how unhappy they used to be about that), so I'm critical of the lack of thought put into the narrative rather than the concept of exploring their relationship in this context. Which is nothing new in regards to how critical I am of TotK as a game, because I think it's mostly just throwing fanservice at the wall to see what sticks whenever the narrative is concerned, and I find it a little condescending.

Also: kinda tiring that people assume that because you think a relationship is poorly executed, that means you only want Good and Pure relationships in your media. I don't! I personally am almost immune to shipping as a concept (almost!), I just want interesting characters being explored in interesting ways, and sometimes that means sending them off on a soft little bubble of love, and sometimes that means putting them through the wood chipper. Sometimes both at once! I just want and expect the narrative to know when it's doing each, and in my opinion TotK has zero idea what it's doing to its characters at any given moment, nor the effets it may have on them as people or what it may say about the world they live in, or the legacy of its own series.

[ceilidhtransing]

I know it's the pettiest thing to take issue with, but it does kinda bother me when people use the word “asexual” as an adjective to criticise something like a poorly-executed sex scene in a film or a really badly written relationship subplot.

Stuff like “what should have been a steamy romance in the hands of a good screenwriter and actors with chemistry was instead rendered clinical and asexual”. Or “the cinematography for even the love scenes was resolutely asexual, robbing them of even the slightest spark of eroticism”.

I know that the word “asexual” has existed before its use as a sexual orientation - and it still does have a totally different meaning in some concepts, like “asexual reproduction” - but it still feels very erasing and unintentionally hurtful to see a word that is many people's identity used in this kind of context, especially when there are so many alternative words for what the author is going for that don't involve invoking an actual real-world sexual orientation.

Instead of “asexual”, try “sexless”! Or “unsexy”! Or “unerotic” or “clinical” or “loveless” or “bland” or “unconvincing” or whatever other word out there describes the exact shade of “not very good” that you're going for and doesn't involve using a minority sexual orientation as a way to call something bad.