#I made several versions of this meme btw

[ghostdrinkssoup]

“you make leaps you can’t explain”

(image credit: @/spriteismadebyfairies on instagram)

[ask-obt]

I feel like this question has already been asked but i can’t remember and I couldn’t find the answer by searching his tag, so: What was the role of Akio in the original OBT? From what i can tell he’s meant to be Rune’s son, but what about his father? Is there a chance he could appear in the current comic, or would he just be repurposed into a new character? (Sorry for long prompt btw)

// the explanation was a bit buried into this ask here (which also talks about other plot points from old OBT), but I'd be happy to give a more accessible version of an explanation as well as some extra context! so akio is the remnant of an arc I had in mind for rune from the very early era of preboot OBT up until I officially scrapped him in 2020. october 6th, 2020 in fact (happy die day you little freak)! in old OBT his role was to be the son of rune and some rando from the luxio tribe in a one night stand, mostly to stir drama between her and kodali. later on it turned out that luxio had the same name as one of my partner's characters (a mew named Xander), and we joked about Xander shapeshifting into a Luxio and blending into the tribe and getting together with rune... and then I made doodles of a vulpix with fun little mew traits, and got attached to the idea! around that time I was gearing up for the reboot of OBT, so he's... well, I was gonna say alolan, but this was actually my first doodle of that fire opal vulpix concept!

and then I thought "actually it'd be more fun if he was kantonian and also will help differentiate his design from rune" which is where you get the current iteration of his design that I use for memeing purposes

then with this being in the reboot timeline, it meant it started intersecting and butting heads with other arcs I had planned. I can probably go more into detail with that once we're a bit further along in the story, but basically rune was A Little Cringe for the circumstances she ended up with xander in the reboot, which would've ended up giving akio a bit of tasty insecurity as he got older and realized he resembled his dad in several ways he didn't like.

one of those ways being that he was flirty, but didn't want to commit to having a family

but that said... these were all headcanons for akio when he was older, aka either in the epilogue of OBT or in a potential sequel. which would've meant I'd have to carry around a baby character that I didn't really have any strong feelings about, a character arc for rune that was fitting with the story less and less over time, all for an epilogue or sequel that may or may not have seen the light of day. don't get me wrong, i still LOVE the idea of exploring this type of arc. but... does it have to be rune's son? she has a bunch of other arcs to explore, and her experiencing motherhood was just complicating the story in a way that wasn't fun to write. overall, it stopped fitting with the themes of OBT and needed to be cut in order to tell the story I actually wanted to tell. so nowadays, akio is a funny little in-joke with myself as a remnant of a long forgotten storyline, and is floating around my brain like a dvd screensaver. maybe someday he'll find a home in a story (he'd be more likely to find another life in my original project before OBT), maybe I'll use him in some sort of RP/collab, or maybe he'll keep collecting dust. only time will tell!

[creepylittlelady]

I need to know more about Lazari in your AU

She deserves more content from fans

Hi! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask, and also thank you for sending me an ask in the first place! I love answering questions, even if it takes me a bit to respond :3

I agree with you, Lazari deserves better. I mean like, even her own creator did her dirty man, SHE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!! Her concept is so cool and her own comic did her SO DIRTY. I hate the treatment she gets from fans too.

Yeah I get it her comic was terribly written and was the origin of the 'I HAVE CRAYONS AND PAPER!!!!!' meme and the characters were poorly written and the lore was inconsistent and the fanservice was weird and the story/tone was ALL OVER THE PLACE. But like, don't take it out on my baby Lazari please she deserves better.

I wanna do some more silly headcanons of her this time around, I might make a separate post on more serious stuff about her ;)

So, let's get cracking!

Lazari Headcanons!

-She's on the Autism Spectrum, diagnosed and all :3. She also has ADHD, also diagnosed! She's the representation we deserve to see in this fandom lol.

-She's Chibiworks. Okay, let me explain:

SO, when Lazari first came into the Mansion, she was just an 8 year old girl with demonic tendencies who was abused by her hyper-religious mother who hated her. She hated herself, she was shy, and she believed that she was nothing more than a monster, a mistake. But all of a sudden she goes from that to the DAUGHTER OF THE EMPEROR OF THE UNDERWORLD, a literal DISNEY PRINCESS (cuz yk she's his daughter), and now she literally lives in a Magical Forest in a Magical Mansion of Serial Killers, Ghosts and Demons.

She thought that the world around her was super interesting considering she never got to see much of the outside. She loves drawing, so she drew about it. She drew about the potential greater stories unravelling around her, making her own characters based on concepts she learnt about whilst exploring.

She made I Eat Pasta for Breakfast as a way of letting her imagination go wild around this new environment she found herself in. She made characters to interact with the people that already existed, and gave them purposes.

(Btw, several of the weird stuff and the not kid-appropriate scenes in the comic are retconned out of this version.)

She also made Creepy Frozen Pasta, just saying. She also wrote The Seer. She wrote every Creepypasta comic in existence. Found a cool Creepypasta comic series? Lazari wrote it.

-She LOVES drawing. Her artstyle is very much manga-inspired and she loves creating her own OCs, which are littered throughout her work. A lot of them are directly based on concepts, such as many of Zalgo's followers in IEPFB being based on the idea of Zalgo having a cult of personality around him.

-She's definitely an animation meme kid. I'm deffo self-projecting but she is the DEFINITION of the weird kid. She makes animation memes of everyone in the mansion. She makes animatics of actual stuff that happened. She makes amateur dubs of her own comics.

-Manga is her biggest hyperfixation. She collects TONS of them, and directly draws panels from her favourite manga to improve her drawing skills. Her favourite Manga series of all time is Fruits Basket :3. Her room is basically just all of her drawing scattered around the place.

She specifically likes Horror and Shoujo anime, despite the fact that they're basically polar opposites. Alongside Fruits Basket, she really likes Madoka Magica!

-She definitely makes AMVs of her favourite animes. She deffo writes terribly written fanfiction about her favourite anime couples kissing and giggles whilst writing it.

-She's also a Gacha Life kid FUCKING FIGHT ME SHE DEFINITELY MAKES GACHA OCS. She definitely stays up until 2am with Sally watching 'Hated Child turns into Hybrid Princess' videos. Lazari gasps in shock every single time and Sally is just sitting there extremely confused.

-Sally is her best friend. She lore-dumps to Sally all the time about her special interests, and Sally listens intently and nods along. She even writes notes about the lore of her favourite series! Sally is a super supportive best friend, and any time any of the ghost kids make fun her for her autistic behaviour she puts them in their place.

-Despite this, the two of them argue a lot, because they're kids and just of course they do. Fun fact! The reason why Sally only appears like once in IEPFB is because Lazari initially wrote her in, then the two got into a fight and she took her out of the story. They made up soon after but Lazari thought it would be too awkward to add her back in and Sally just accepted it.

-She has a very unorthodox form of common sense. With that I mean she has none at all. Once the mansion was on fire, and Slender screamed at her to get up and evacuate. Her reaction? She told him to leave her alone and let her sleep.

-She really likes Vocaloid, and her favourite Vocaloid isn't even a Vocaloid. Her favourite, uh, singing bank, is Kasane Teto! She claims that her robotic voice (before the SynthV AI transfer) was pleasant to her ears.

-Her favourite Vocaloid Song is Kasane Territory, because of the animation meme of course >:D.

-She also definitely tried to make a Storytime Youtube Channel but everyone in the Mansion made her delete it because she was sharing personal information about them all. Like genuinely she'd be like 'SO THE OTHER DAY MASKY AND HOODY WERE ON A MISSION FOR SLENDERMAN AND THEY KILLED THIS ONE GIRL WHO LIVES AT THIS ADDRESS IN THIS STATE'.

She has like zero concept of Internet Safety.

-She's a massive Melanie Martinez fan. She got Sally into her music, and back when Melanie Martinez was like just getting popular she'd sing all of her songs super loudly in the shower. Once Slenderman referred to the house as a 'Dollhouse' and Lazari screamed 'DOLLHOUSE BY MELANIE MARTINEZ? HEY GIRL, OPEN YOUR WALLS, PLAY WITH YOUR DOLLS-'.

-She used to be a massive Roblox kid in 2017 and was also an MSP kid. Christ she was on so many virtual worlds, she was even on Animal Jam sort of.

-Fanon Masky, Hoody and Toby were invented by her. Fanon Masky was made PURELY out of spite for him. The first time they met was not pleasant, as he called her a brat. Lazari vowed to humiliate him in every way possible from that point forward. She found out that he hated children, hated Slenderman, hated Cheesecake, hated the texture of Crayons, and hated jokingly being called a twink by Toby.

All of that combined? You got the Crayon-having, Cheesecake-eating, Skinny, Scrawny, Slenderman dick-riding Fanon Masky that we all know and love. The other residents found out about this strange new version of him and it became so popular she drew individual fanarts of him and handed it to all of the residents. Even Slenderman has a picture of Cheesecake Masky on his Office Wall. Somehow Masky didn't find out about this until a long time after the fad ended.

In my AU Hoody is a selective mute who doesn't verbally communicate with anyone besides the Proxies, so he was deathly silent when he first met Lazari. She misunderstood this as him just being shy and so Shy UwU boy Hoody was made.

Fanon Toby is just a sarcastic persona Toby puts on to piss other people off. She misunderstood this as his REAL personality and alongside the waffles thing that Jeff and Ben always mentioned (Toby stopped liking Waffles long before Lazari came), Fanon Toby was made.

-She made the Dollmaker (yeah he exists) make her plushies of everyone in the Mansion + The Zalgo and a few of her OCs. What does she do with them, you may ask? She roleplays with them with Sally. They've made a bunch of random ships with this, and now they're both avid Slender x Zalgo shippers. They also ship EJ with a lot of people as he has such a versatile personality, but they mainly like EJ and Jeff.

Lazari also found out that Masky was sort of intimidated by Nurse Ann so she shipped them very vocally in front of him.

-She's a massive Sanrio-girl, and her favourite character is My Melody :D. She's watched the entirety of Onegai My Melody at least like sixteen times already.

-She tried to learn Japanese, and failed miserably. She can sometimes read Hiragana if Kagekao writes it really carefully.

-Her own handwriting is really terrible, almost illegible. It's a gift to be able to read anything she writes.

-She's a part of the Mansion's Literature Club, and Ben nicknames her the Natsuki of the club, as she's always insisting that Manga is literature.

-She argues with Slender, as he believes that comics and Manga shouldn't be considered literature, as they're all pictures and barely any words. Lazari TO THIS DAY debates him about it.

-About her demonic urges, they're manageable as long as you give her a random body part to chew on every once and a while. She doesn't lose her control like she once did when she first came, and she's not as dangerous anymore. She's like a saint compared to EJ.

-As she's a half-demon, she has some godly amount of brute force strength. She can carry someone thrice her size and force open any door, no matter how many locks are on it.

She also has an incredibly high pain tolerance. Once she got scratched up pretty bad by EJ when he was in a particularly bad Demonic State, the girl didn't even notice until Lulu noticed.

-About Lulu, she was actually assigned to show her around when she first arrived at the Mansion! Lulu had told Slender earlier that she wanted to take charge of whoever came after her, and has a really good relationship with Lazari. She's one of Lazari's favourite people.

-Her relationship with her dad is...strange. On one hand when she does get to visit they generally have a nice time, however due to how much she reminds him of his deceased little sister, sometimes he'll accidentally call her 'Lily', which dampens the mood a little bit.

-Stripes ADORES her. The two sisters are very close and Stripes just loves her so much, she even made her her Teddy Bear that she's famous for carrying around :3.

-She had a phase where she called herself an irl Yandere. Thankfully she stopped after like a month but it was very funny lol

-She loves Nightcore! And Trance Music, oddly enough. One of her favourite songs is 'Be Alive!' By Stian K. (Search up the song. If you recognise the song from a certain animation meme of her then you deserve all of my respect).

-Her favourite food is Chocolate Strawberries.

Okay, if you want to ask some more serious lore-related questions then go right ahead and I'll answer! I just have so much of Lazari since she was one of my comfort characters when I was little and first got into Creepypastas. I see a lot of myself in her and I'm so peeved that the fandom either completely ignores her or dislikes her, like she's got so much potential! She's an incredibly important character in my AU actually, and one day I'll make a post detailing her correlation with the greater story :3

Hope you enjoyed! If you're new to this blog and are just seeing this post, then I have an AU named 'Puppet Strings', with its own lore and interpretations of the characters. If you're curious, come check out my blog and you can ask me questions!

[youwantedavillain]

Reva, the Screaming Banshee who Enables and Encourages Slander (part 2)

Continued from part 1....

Now pay attention, my dear readers, because this part is gonna be brought up later on! We have already talked about the fact that I am also a victim of stalking and dogpiling in real life by my IRL friends WHILE I was going through all this shit, so it’s not hard to assume and confirm that I have PTSD when it comes to situations like this. One beautifully tragic morning I had to go to one of my English classes, because surprise surprise, I’m a college student… who is trying to NOT to go into fucking debt by failing. Apparently Reva couldn’t comprehend this,... perhaps didn’t consider bothering in the first place. That morning I had woken up from a nightmare/memory of my Stalker pulling the whole demanding my attention thing during my history class when I was going for my Culinary Degree. Now, waking up from that… and having another boy demand my attention while I was going to English class for my Bachelors for English… well… It’s easy to say that the ‘ol demon of unbridled rage possessed me for a hot minute there. Then he ran off to bash me in a server that I didn’t know about… which is reasonable. I was being a total bitch and I do regret it, but what was the reason for that little demand of my attention?

He thought that I didn’t like him (I did a little bit, but I loathe him now), and he was big upsetti spaghetti because I didn’t complete our little art project with the ship kids that @felicitythekittycat supposedly loathes (it’s not like that art takes literal weeks sometimes months to complete depending on how much detail I put in, if I have homework, if my stalker isn’t demanding my attention every half a second etc.).

It’s also not like I’m scared of being screamed at while I’m already emotionally fragile to the point that a feather could break me.

Truly, I should’ve just given him ALLLLLLLLLLLL my attention.

Also, it’s not like he and @felicitythekittycat literally showed off my mental breakdown later on in that same fucking server for everyone to gawk at and make fun of me… making me the village idiot/joke/pathetic cartoon villain…. Again…..

And I’m the bad guy? Have we all agreed I’m the true villain here? 

(Side note from an emotionally exhausted me: The reason why @felicitythekittycat was supposedly crying that time was because I was trying to guess what version of Nightmare!Sans got its own server AT 1AM, and I'm an insomniac who at the time was in college for my Culinary Degree. Another note that must be made is now I finally know why he called me "one of the most disgusting people he ever had the displeasure of meeting". I find it EXTREMELY odd and disturbing that he continues to act concerned and wonders if I hate him and "unnerved" when I pretend like nothing is wrong when that is often what he and the others do in that server from my perspective. So, when he and the others do it, it's totally normal. But when I do it, suddenly there is a problem that needs to be pushed. During this time he actively knew I had a stalker, BTW.)

Oh, and also apparently, I’m not allowed to vent in my own server of a whole ass 6 people! Because it gets more people involved with a situation that they’re not a part of…. Now where have I heard that before? Hmmmmmmm, maybe we should scroll up this entire post and uh… see if we see something funny. Liiiiiiiiiiike hypocrisy!

This screenshot was about me making a display of taking down my art contest that I made for the server. It was a basic concept and looking back it may have been a bit TOO ADVANCED for the artists there at the time, but who’s to say. Several people, including @felicitythekittycat, were planning on “memeing” the contest, which was that they were gonna all submit the same picture just to be assholes to me. Now I was reasonably mad because one, I thought it was gonna be a fun little contest – it was basically this:

You have to draw a character that isn’t yours – it can be your friend’s, an anime’s, etc., thus basically it could be any character of your choice so long as it isn’t your OC – and you have to draw them in an outfit that is inspired by food. It could be inspired by the texture, the color, shape language, etc. So essentially you could make a piece of your best friend’s character in a suit that is inspired by Tiramisu if you wanted, specifically the colors it has, and thus give it to said friend as a gift.

Yeah, this was gonna be “memed” for…. What reason? I don’t know, other than the fact that I was the one that thought of it.

Here is the second reason why I was upset: There were PLENTY of other art contests similar to it without a single problem going on. My guess for the reason why Reva was so pissed was because he and his cocksucker posse were upset they couldn’t execute it and/or felt guilty for it. Maybe he thought it was funny too. However, a meme/joke is only funny if everyone is laughing,... and I wasn’t laughing.

You also see me being very submissive here… it’s because I didn’t want to get screamed at more. Plus, I was humiliated. It made me feel like it was a bad idea and that I was a bad person for even considering it. I still somewhat feel embarrassed by it. I do have reassurance that my ideas and emotions over this are valid, though it doesn’t do much to heal the damage that was done to my confidence. Again, showing the Emotional Manipulation and fear impacted my actions in this situation. 

The concept isn’t even that strange, there is a Gacha Game called Food Fantasy with this very aesthetic! This concept is very much to HAVE FUN. Hell, League of Legends has an entire skinline with this concept. The point of not doing your own character was to encourage camaraderie and push the artists to get out of their comfort zone by drawing characters that they haven’t done very often. It takes a whole lot of horrific talent to turn something all about fun and camaraderie into something to humiliate a single individual. It is extremely disgusting.

So what do we have here all together?

An Emotionally Abusive and manipulative individual based on the following:

A person who likes to jump into screaming fits, threats of violence, personal insults, and refusing to hear anything other than his own voice, having and abusing a position of power, refusing to be accommodating to a person's trauma, invalidating said trauma, actively tried to get a person to relive that trauma for his personal gain, gets upset over his concept of “peace” being disrupted, does zero self-reflection and constantly imposes unequal rules via a “Rules for thee, but not for me” mentality, refuses to apologize and then actively hides when called out on his bullshit... This is who Reva is. This is how he has ALWAYS BEEN and likely will always be considering that he is hiding right now because "he moved on", a.k.a. refuses to take accountability and actively chose to not let me move on via giving me the answers I so desperately wanted and needed to move on.

But here is where we round out all of this. As I’ve shown before, the vents that he has done were in servers that I had no knowledge of. This is how they were able to talk about me behind my back. He even knew about @felicitythekittycat’s vents. They were in two servers that I didn’t know about and likely had far more people than my little server. I’m guessing that they had anywhere between 10-15 people minimum, could be below or above that line. Blatantly showing that it is because I’m not giving him all my attention and art. He views me as a punching bag and for that, I’m not allowed to complain about anything in his eyes. It’s considered “drama” until it actively affects him when no… this isn’t drama. These are actual problems and real crimes one can be punished for. He doesn’t care that felicitythekittycat pushed me into suicidal ideation and he condoned that behavior by joining in on it, and though his active inaction because here is the kicker… he knew exactly what she was doing and refused to look at any of my evidence until the last minute when he had lost my trust long ago. There was no turning back from that. Especially when he revealed my mental/emotional breakdown to people far outside my trusted circle. That was NOT his pain to share. Anyone in their right mind would be ashamed for doing that much.

Reva, if you’re reading this, which I truly do hope you are, the reason why I never went to you for anything is because I was dealing with so much shit and I was very much wary of men in my life for many, MANY reasons that you have ignored repeatedly and because you started off our “friendship” with an attack. You actively reinforced my fear and wariness towards men. I am not going to pet a dog that tried to kill me when I first met it. I’m also going to be scared of its species, because guess what? That’s what traumatic experiences can do to people, you dumb fuck.

So instead of screaming at me for never going to your immature, unreliable ass for anything… try looking in a mirror and ask yourself if maybe screaming at people when you first meet them is really a good idea and looks good on you. Oh and also, you’d never be a good CEO of Twitter. You’d make Elon Musk’s work look like a paradise. You can barely help run a server for dumbass little roleplays or handle cases of slander, you’d legit run that company to the ground and blame a random Starbucks barista for it. The shit I complained about were legitimate problems, NOT drama. Learn to read the fucking room instead of assuming everything is out to chop your baby chode off with a pair of rusty scissors.

If legitimate slander that is affecting my mental health is what you consider “drama”, then I’d HATE to see what you consider a crime…. Oh wait… I have… because I am the crime.

Me existing is an illegal act to you.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were waiting with bated breath for me to off myself…. In that case you can keep waiting, motherfucker.

You said me and felicitythekittycat need to improve ourselves. Out of context, that is 100% a fair and understandable statement to make, but when it’s your mouth it came out of, I wonder just how blind you are to your own self-centered, narcissistic bullshit. IT IS OBVIOUSLY MORE THAN A ME AND HER PROBLEM. A TWO YEAR OLD COULD FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT.

I had a temper problem and kept on drawing boundaries. Felicitythekittycat had a habit for crossing them and slandering me behind my back, activities that you actively participated in and perpetuated ON IN TWO OF JESSIRONI'S SERVERS (turns out there are two servers and not just one). It’s like getting mad at a dog for biting your leg when you were the one who kicked it in the first place. You brought in FAR MORE people than I ever did in EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SITUATION THAT HAD ME RELATED TO OR IN IT. But I only had a whole 6 people whereas those secret servers had…. How many spectators? How many participants? You have a whole ass “Rules for thee but not for me” mentality here.

I legitimately hope you never confessed your feelings to that secret someone to spare them the absolute plight of your company. Even imagining you in a relationship makes me want to shit in my hands and clap in your general direction.

Okay I need to talk here straight up because I know that I’ve been losing my cool this entire post and I need to really just sit down and say this. When I was still on relatively… I suppose decent terms with Reva – (I don’t know nor do I believe if I was ever on good terms with him) – I was legitimately terrified of being screamed at and dogpiled virtually at literally any moment. In a way it was worse online because no matter how much evidence I had of felicitythekittycat‘s lies and proof of my innocence, he wouldn’t even look at it, nor would VishaRage or Poke – the owner of said RolePlay server – and I would be left unheard completely. I know that the question of why I have so much evidence and yet never used it to prove my innocence to those who are in power, well this is why. I was never heard. None of them wanted to give me the time of day unless I were the villain time and time again. Why? Well I shit you not… the delivery. I would be sarcastic like “Oh wow I’m such a horrible person” and then give my evidence. They wouldn’t even glance at it. Not even a quick skim of any of the screenshots. Why was I so sarcastic and sassy? I was tired of getting dogpiled and overwhelmed. I was tired of walking on eggshells all day every day with no break from it. So it’s no surprise that I gave up, especially in the last conversation I had with him. In our last conversation, he claimed he was trying to hear my side AFTER I pointed out that he never once tried to hear me out. I told him I didn’t believe him and blocked him. To be honest, I’d love to meet the bastard in real life just to see if he’d actually try to kill me. I’d tell him to just do it, fucking get it over with. There is one sole reason why I think all of this shit happened out of malicious intent and I’ll reveal it at the end of all of this.

I had taken a long break from writing this post not simply because of the holiday but because of the sheer amount of anxiety I get from looking at the screenshots that are about him and all his verbal abuse and threats towards my person. Mind you, I’m used to hearing screaming. I’m used to being bullied, but there is a breaking point and he and felicitythekittycat took full advantage of it and kept sprinting onwards. Killing me would’ve been a mercy.

[tm-roadrage]

hello, drivers! 💥

we are not Calypso, unfortunately. however, we welcome you to the Garage — the home and birthplace of Twisted Metal: Road Rage!

this blog is run by admins Tseli and Crimson, two nerds who love watching cars explode and sinister older men in suits.

table of contents 💣

road rage synopsis

about the admins

blog rules

credits

outro

1. road rage synopsis

let’s head straight for the billion-dollar question: “what is this blog for anyway, and what the hell is Twisted Metal: Road Rage?”

technically that’s two questions, but we can provide the answer.

basically, Twisted Metal: Road Rage is an unofficial, fanmade entry to the long-running Twisted Metal franchise — the PlayStation staple about cars, explosions, wacky characters, and the wishes of these wacky characters. it is set in an alternate continuity that combines elements from most of the games, such as the classic series, Twisted Metal: Black, Twisted Metal 2012, and a little bit of the 2023 TV show. there are several returning characters from across the franchise as well as new characters with new vehicles and backstories, so you can expect a huge roster!

2. about the admins

admin tseli

she/they/xem

18

creator of blake hollister, katelyn wolfe, and hector ramirez

resident history buff and resident evil fan

admin crimson

she/they

19

creator of robert hollister, deirdre mason and ezekiel castillo

graphic design / aesthetics nerd. i made our blog theme look cool, but the theme code itself is by octomoosey!

btw for anyone in the tumblr rp circles, if you see the blog @/deathbashed, that’s me writing (a version of) my robert!

studying film & tv production in college

3. blog rules

no explicit/NSFW asks in the inbox. we can accept angst or blood, but if the content is offensive or sexually explicit in any way, shape, or form, we are deleting it.

headcanons are absolutely accepted! by all means please tell us what you think, but we will delete and block anything that has to do with incest, 18+ material, drama, or hot-button political opinions/debates. basically an add-on to rule #1!

racism, queerphobia, and ableism are not allowed. this blog is a safe space, and you are not welcome if you have an intolerance to people just existing.

we’re not a meme source, people; we’re a fan blog that creates our own original characters and content. so please for the love of Calypso don’t steal or repost shit!! please reblog gif sets and the like from the source! stealing is not okay and we don’t wanna hear excuses.

one of the admins is a college student and the other is still in high school, and we also run our own individual blogs. with that in mind, there will be times that there's no activity here. we'll try to fill up the queue beforehand if we expect any prolonged absences, but no promises! our queue tag is "thank queue for playing". if you don't see your submission or ask posted, chances are a) we're working on a response to it, especially if it's a headcanon, writing or similar b) we haven't logged in to see it yet c) it's been received and is already in the queue or d) it violates any of the rules posted here and we've deleted it. don't send us messages asking where it is. that gets annoying.

rule #2 kind of covers this, but respectfully, don't come in here to tell us about drama related to any faceclaims seen on this blog or vent your personal opinions about these people. you might think you're doing us a favor, but you're really not. all that does is make everyone uncomfortable and no one wants that. we'll avoid using faceclaims that we personally are uncomfortable with, but don't police our content based on your preferences. anything we get related to this will be deleted and you will be blocked.

art, edits, etc. of our characters are totally okay as long as you ask first and give us credit! we'd love to see your work, but like we said in rule #4, stealing is never okay. we put a whole lotta work and a whole lotta love into this.

4. credits

as mentioned above, our blog uses a theme by octomoosey!

our headers use this template.

5. outro

so yeah, that’s us! we don’t have much else to say except that we hope you enjoy your stay with us in the Garage. feel free to explore and ask away if you have any questions for us.

good luck, drivers, and welcome to the world of Twisted Metal: Road Rage!

~ admins crimson and tseli 💙🖤

[fandom]

I posted 672 times in 2021

502 posts created (75%)

170 posts reblogged (25%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 467 tags in 2021

#movies - 48 posts

#celebrities - 48 posts

#ships - 47 posts

#tv shows - 47 posts

#video games - 47 posts

#manga - 46 posts

#anime - 46 posts

#week in review - 46 posts

#web stuff - 46 posts

#kpop - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#btw did y'all know kitchen nightmares is available uncensored on youtube?

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Top 21 of 2021

Well, here it is. 52 weeks of data, scrunched and sorted, all leading to this: The Dream SMP Minecraft Server and its content creators make up a full 33.333333% of this year’s Top Things. This should come as no surprise to anyone who’s been reading our weekly Fandometrics lists. Given that the dataset runs from October 21, 2020, to October 20, 2021, it’s also no surprise that Supernatural and Destiel round out the top three. Critical Role’s second campaign ended in June, and while fans were sad to see that chapter of the Mighty Nein’s adventure end, they took solace in Exandria Unlimited’s summer run. Genshin Impact’s popularity shows no signs of slowing down as new players discover the joy (and heartbreak) of wishing. Loki gave fans more versions of the character than we had ever dared to hope for, along with very intense feelings about jet skis. Baby Yoda and his dad stole the galaxy’s heart, the Boku no Hero Academia manga is in its final act, a major ship in The Owl House went canon, and we learned that Bucky Barnes sleeps on the floor. And of course, our resident Artists on Tumblr have diligently documented all of the above with their incredible arts. This is Tumblr’s Year In Review.

The Dream SMP Minecraft Server

Supernatural

Destiel | Dean Winchester & Castiel, Supernatural

Artists on Tumblr

TommyInnit

Critical Role

Ranboo

Genshin Impact

Loki

Boku no Hero Academia

Technoblade

Star Wars

BTS

The Owl House

Tubbo

The Mandalorian

Wilbur Soot

Dreamwastaken

Dean Winchester | Supernatural

Bucky Barnes | the Marvel universe

Castiel | Supernatural

4246 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 14:58:02 GMT

#4

Greetings, MCYTblr

Given the rapid rise of the popularity of Minecraft streamers on Tumblr this year, this list was inevitable. Minecraft—the game itself—has been popular on Tumblr for years, first appearing at #29 in 2018’s Year In Review list of Top Video Games before skyrocketing up 27 spots to #2 in 2019. That rapid rise coincided with the first appearance of the Hermitcraft server on our Year In Review Web Series list, at #11 in 2019 and #9 in 2020.

In the summer of 2020, members of the Dream SMP server began appearing consistently on our weekly Web Stuff Fandometrics lists. 2020 was also the first year Dream SMP server members showed up on the Web Celebs list, with Dreamwastaken premiering at the #5 spot. Further appearances were made by Technoblade, Georgenotfound, TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot, Sapnap, Tubbo, and BadBoyHalo. Since it first arrived in Fandometrics lists, the Dream SMP has, in one form or another, made it onto 94 different Web Stuff or Week in Review lists.

Throughout this year, members of the Dream SMP server, the Hermitcraft server, and the new 3rd Life and Last Life SMP servers have bounced up and down our weekly Web Stuff Fandometrics lists. Additionally, several content creators have launched musical acts, including Dream and Wilbur Soot, showing just how multi-talented these folks are. And then, of course, in a turn of events that could only happen on Tumblr, there was the fake Penis SMP Minecraft server. With its fully fleshed-out characters and lore, Penis SMP trended so hard that it appeared on our Web Stuff list on May 23, 2021.

Real or fake, Minecraft streamers have captivated fans, inspiring the prolific making and sharing of memes, theories, reactions, and truly incredible fan art. Seriously, the fan art of the blocky Minecraft characters has no right to be as good as it is—great job, y’all.

This one’s for you, MCYTblr. 

TommyInnit

Ranboo

Technoblade 

Tubbo

Wilbur Soot

Dreamwastaken

Philza

GeorgeNotFound

Sapnap

BadBoyHalo

Karl Jacobs

Awesamdude

Niki Nihachu

Jschlatt

Jack Manifold

Grian

Captain Puffy

Crumb

Skeppy

Foolish Gamers

Slimecicle

Purpled

Punz

Antfrost

Ponk

GoodTimesWithScar

Mumbo Jumbo

Scott Smajor

EthosLab

Rendog

ConnorEatsPants

BdoubleO100

Hannahxxrose

ImpulseSV

ZombieCleo

SolidarityGaming

PearlescentMoon

Sneegsnag

TapL

Docm77

Tango Tek

Smallishbeans

GeminiTay

LDShadowLady

Captain Sparklez

This list is new! Ta-da!

5135 notes • Posted 2021-11-24 23:02:32 GMT

#3

It’s Tumblr’s 2021 Year in Review!

Every year, the team behind Fandometrics pores over enough data to block a proverbial Suez Canal. We analyze all of the tags, searches, posts, and every like and reblog on this blue hellsite (affectionate), categorizing the most popular stuff on Tumblr so we can give the gift of Year in Review in December. 

Tumblr’s Year in Review contains a full 365 days’ worth of data, but it runs from October 21, 2020, to October 20, 2021. Supernatural fans, we know you were disappointed with Destiel going canon being absent from last year’s Year in Review. So you’re finally going to see November 5, 2020, represented. This is your payout. 

Like you, Year in Review has grown this past year. Matured. A glow up, if you will. You might notice some changes that reflect that, like a more inclusive Celebs list to replace the old Actors and Actresses lists. Or all TV shows (previously live-action, animated, and reality)  under one list header for the first time. And an extra special, extra personal little somethin’ that will remain a surprise until December 7...👀

Keep your eyes peeled to this space all month long, Tumblr. The lists are all live now (go, go, go!), but we’ve got all sorts of goodies coming your way. Now, onto the good stuff.

Top 21 of 2021 Ships TV Shows Movies Celebs Shadow and Bone Marvel Round-Up Hellsite Gazing Tumblr Communities Things We Care About Solo Artists Music Groups K-Pop K-Pop Stars Minecraft Streamers Web Celebs Web Series Athletes Memes Video Games Mobile Games Video Game Characters Genshin Impact Anime & Manga Anime & Manga Characters Books Tumblr In The Wild Aesthetics

6998 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 14:59:10 GMT

#2

Ships

POV: You’re looking at a list with a mere 24% of m/f pairings. 

Destiel +9 Dean Winchester & Castiel, Supernatural 

Lumity +5 Luz Noceda & Amity Blight, The Owl House

Sambucky Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes, the Marvel universe

Bakudeku +11 Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Boku no Hero Academia

Dreamnotfound Dreamwastaken & GeorgeNotFound, Streamers

Lokius Loki Laufeyson & Mobius M. Mobius, Loki

Supercorp +1 Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Supergirl

Buddie +18 Evan Buckley & Edmundo Diaz, 9-1-1

Catradora -7 Catra & Adora, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Hannigram +27 Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham, Hannibal

Stucky +7 Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes, the Marvel universe

Beauyasha Beauregard Lionett & Yasha Nydoorin, Critical Role

Renga Reki Kyan & Langa Hasegawa, SK8 the Infinity

Wangxian -1 Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian, Mo Dao Zu Shi

Jikook -6 Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook, BTS

Zukka -10 Zuko & Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Bumbleby -5 Yang Xiao Long & Blake Belladonna, RWBY

Jonmartin -4 Jonathan Sims & Martin Blackwood, The Magnus Archives

Gallavich -2 Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Shameless

Geraskier -16 Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier, The Witcher

Wolfstar +18 Remus Lupin & Sirius Black, the Harry Potter universe

Drarry -6 Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, the Harry Potter universe

Ladynoir +24 Ladybug & Chat Noir, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Dinluke Din Djarin & Luke Skywalker, the Star Wars universe

Kiribaku -14 Kirishima Eijirou & Bakugou Katsuki, Boku no Hero Academia

Ineffable Husbands -21 Aziraphale & Crowley, Good Omens

Cockles Misha Collins & Jensen Ackles, Actors

Zutara -9 Zuko & Katara, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Bubbline Princess Bubblegum & Marceline, Adventure Time

Adrienette +16 Adrien Agreste & Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Symbrock Venom (symbiote) & Eddie Brock, the Marvel universe

Korrasami -10 Korra & Asami Sato, The Legend of Korra

Marichat +17 Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Chat Noir, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Kanej Kaz Brekker & Inej Ghafa, Shadow and Bone

Shadowgast Caleb Widogast & Essek Thelyss, Critical Role

Merthur +6 Merlin & Arthur Pendragon, Merlin

Zelink +48 Zelda & Link, The Legend of Zelda

Tarlos +50 TK Strand & Carlos Reyes, 9-1-1: Lone Star

Klance -19 Keith & Lance, Voltron: Legendary Defender

Darklina The Darkling & Alina Starkov, Shadow and Bone

Solangelo +51 Will Solace & Nico di Angelo, the Percy Jackson universe

Narumitsu +21 Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth, Ace Attorney

Tododeku -16 Todoroki Shouto & Midoriya Izuku, Boku no Hero Academia

Sterek +5 Stiles Stilinski & Derek Hale, Teen Wolf

Dramione +23 Draco Malfoy & Hermione Granger, the Harry Potter universe

Levihan Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë, Attack on Titan

Erasermic -12 Aizawa Shouta & Yamada Hizashi, Boku no Hero Academia

Reylo -47 Rey & Kylo Ren, the Star Wars universe

Kagehina -16 Kageyama Tobio & Hinata Shouyou, Haikyuu!!

Sasusaku -21 Uchiha Sasuke & Haruno Sakura, Naruto

Johnlock +43 John Watson & Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

Larry Stylinson -9 Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson, Singers

Wayhaught -23 Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp

Nessian Nesta Archeron & Cassian, the A Court of Thorns and Roses series

Hualian Hua Cheng & Xie Lian, Tian Guan Ci Fu

Dani x Jamie Dani Clayton & Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

Thanzag Thanatos & Zagreus, Hades

Joe x Nicky -24 Joe & Nicky, The Old Guard

Eremika Eren Jaeger & Mikasa Ackerman, Attack on Titan

Percabeth -3 Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase, the Percy Jackson universe

Reddie -58 Richie Tozier & Eddie Kaspbrak, It

Phan -21 Daniel Howell & Phil Lester, YouTubers

Preath -42 Christen Press & Tobin Heath, Athletes

Eruri Erwin Smith & Levi Ackerman, Attack on Titan

Sylki Sylvie & Loki Laufeyson, Loki

Komahina Komaeda Nagito & Hinata Hajime, Danganronpa

Fjorester Fjord & Jester Lavorre, Critical Role

Harringrove -36 Steve Harrington & Billy Hargrove, Stranger Things

Harlivy -29 Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy, the DC Universe

Willex Will & Alex Mercer, Julie and the Phantoms

Spirk +2 Spock & James Kirk, Star Trek

Stony -21 Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, the Marvel universe

Matcha Blossom Joe & Cherry Blossom, SK8 the Infinity

Itafushi Itadori Yuuji & Fushiguro Megumi, Jujustu Kaisen

Taekook -17 Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook, BTS

Maribat -40 Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Damien Wayne, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir x The DC Universe

Raeda Raine Whispers & Eda Clawthorne, The Owl House

Sasunaru Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto

Bokuaka -8 Bokuto Kotarou & Akaashi Keiji, Haikyuu!!

Malex -35 Michael Guerin & Alex Manes, Roswell, New Mexico

Ishimondo Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Owada Mondo, Danganronpa

Upstead Hailey Upton & Jay Halstead, Chicago P.D.

Wincest Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Supernatural

Codywan Commander Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Dabihawks -33 Dabi & Hawks, Boku no Hero Academia

Nalu -21 Natsu Dragneel & Lucy Heartfilia, Fairy Tail

Widojest +3 Caleb Widogast & Jester Lavorre, Critical Role

Jily James Potter & Lily Evans, the Harry Potter universe

Deckerstar -19 Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer

Satosugu Gojo Satoru & Geto Suguru, Jujutsu Kaisen

Iwaoi +2 Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Haikyuu!!

Sessrin Sesshomaru & Rin, Hanyō no Yashahime

Ladrien Ladybug & Adrien Agreste, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Ironstrange -39 Tony Stark & Dr. Steven Strange, the Marvel universe

Luberto Luca & Alberto, Luca

Wenzhou Wen Kexing & Zhou Zishu, Word of Honor

Vmin -13 Kim Taehyung & Park Jimin, BTS

Whiterose -17 Weiss Schnee & Ruby Rose, RWBY

Chenford Lucy Chen & Tim Bradford, The Rookie

Obikin Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, the Star Wars universe

The number in italics indicates how many spots a ship moved up or down from the previous year. The ones in bold weren’t on the list last year.

7264 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 14:57:48 GMT

#1

TV Shows

Week Ending June 14th, 2021

Loki +18

The Owl House -1

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir -1

Love, Victor

Shadow and Bone

Supernatural

The Bad Batch +1

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier +2

WandaVision

The Mandalorian +8

The Muppets

wtFOCK

Amphibia -4

Hannibal -1

The Untamed

Avatar: The Last Airbender -5

Lucifer -13

Bo Burnham: Inside -11

Steven Universe

The Witcher

The number in italics indicates how many spots a title moved up or down from the previous week. Bolded titles weren’t on the list last week.

6938 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 20:12:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[alovesongshewrote]

Oh, don't worry! Gender neutral will do as well, it is better than nothing, I prefer so much the gender neutral stuff you don't even know how so. Btw, can I request Karl with a reader that is a sorcerer? They treat him with teas, move stuff around with magic, is a little bit chaotic but is always sweet to him?

I Put A Spell On You | Karl Heisenberg HCs

of course you can :D

i really enjoyed this prompt, im sorry it took so long to get it out, but you know how life is. anyway

NO WARNINGS NEEDED, THIS IS MOSTLY FLUFF

taglist: @mxcheese @blixeon @valentimmy @prismarts @chrysanthykios

So

The first time you met heisenberg it was

Kinda weird

Because he wasn’t conscious for it

Years before the events of re8

The metal man went out into the mountains

He was probably trying to escape miranda’s grasp, but it could’ve been anything tbh

Whatever it was

he got himself injured

He got knocked

All the way out

And he ended up lying in the snow waiting for death/waking up to several frozen limbs

That day

you were just wandering around

And by sheer fucking luck, you found his body in the mountains

And you went

“Oh boy, enrichment for the environment!”

And brought him home with you

You weren’t 100% sure if he would wake up

But you took care of him anyway

It was both the decent thing to do and

Y’know

Something to do

Sorcerer or otherwise, i can’t imagine that solitary life on a mountain is all that exciting

Anyway, yeah, you patched heise up

Warmed him up with potions

Made sure he didn’t lose anything to the cold

Made sure whatever injuries he had would heal right

Things like that

And let’s be clear, you taking care of him is the reason he woke up

Like, without you, he would’ve died

Or like

Become a screaming torso with limbs blackened from the cold

But he didn’t!

He lived!

He woke up screaming tho

And

in turn

that made you scream

so you both just

Screamed for five minutes while pointing at the other person

Like a spooky version of the spiderman meme

It was nuts

But anyway

Once he had a minute to adjust and understand what the fuck was going on, heisenberg was ok

You explained that you found him on a mountain, that you’re magic, that he’s lucky he didn’t die, etc

The whole, “I am a sorcerer” thing was

Possibly too casual

But he took it well

He asked what you could do, and, eager to show off, you showed him

You made your possessions fly around the room, you made the lights flicker a little bit

It was a spectacle!

In return, you asked why the fuck he was in the mountains

And he told you, eager to explain how shitty miranda is

You listened intently

And that was the start of a funky fresh companionship

From that point on, Heisenberg regularly came to visit you in your mountain home

He made you tools out of metal

Cauldrons, utensils, shelves, storage units, etc

And you kept him healthy and tetanus free with a mix of magic, tea, and eventually, modern science

Y’all got fuckin vaccinated

See

With you and Heisenberg

you’ve got one of them symbiotic relationships

You take care of each other

You feed off of each other’s chaotic energies

Maybe you make out sometimes, idk

And

You challenge each other

I mean

To be fair, you usually challenge each other in literal and dumb ways

Like

Y’all try to see who can throw a chunk of metal the farthest with their powers

Or like

Who can bend a metal bar the fastest

And it’s fun!

Much better than the solitary lives you would’ve lived otherwise!

But you also challenge each other to be more creative

Or to better yourselves in some way

(the definition of ‘better’ is very much up for debate)

But i digress

You also become Heisenberg’s drinking buddy

For both magic tea and enchanted alcohol

You actually make heisenberg tea a lot

And you send him back to the factory with teas

And the tea does everything

It helps with nightmares, insomnia, headaches, any pain left over from the cadou implant, etc

He doesn’t say it often, but you know he’s grateful

Just as you are grateful for all of the tools he makes for you

Speaking of

the tools he makes you are cool as fuck

Like, i already mentioned cauldrons and storage units

But i’m circling back to that because i just need to say:

Heisenberg has definitely made you a wand

OR A STAFF

And then you enchanted it

It makes your magic just a little stronger!

and

When he comes up with his master plan

Y’know, the zombie mechs army thing

YOU BEGIN TO STUDY NECROMANCY

To, y’know, help him out

As you do

Just

Helping your s/o defeat his evil not-mom by learning to make zombies so that he can give them mechanical upgrades

That’s romance babey

But yeah, no, it’s hell on poor ethan winters, because with your help, the metal army is a lot more effective

Their magic and biological components mix with their metal parts to make perfect soldiers for the perfect army

They are

Nearly unkillable!

Fucking

Rip ethan

Speaking of

You probably do help ethan when the time comes

Partially because heisenberg asks you to

(“Hey, buttercup? Could you paint a few arrows pointing Winters in the right direction? Thankssss.”)

But you also help because you aren’t totally evil and he’s just a dad looking for his kid

You feel kinda bad for him

So

You paint some arrows

Deactivate some of your soldiers

Maybe throw a chair at alcina if the opportunity arises, idk

(you decide if you’re throwing the chair physically or with magic, they’re both good)

You honestly have a pretty dope time

And when heise and ethan “die,” well

You’re a necromancer now

You bring them both back

They’re much more alive than the metal army!

You got good at reanimating the dead

Anyway, this got away from me, uh

The bottom line is

You and heisenberg work well together

You make each other stronger both in terms of your respective powers, your physical strength, and like

Emotions

Like i said, without each other, you both would’ve lived incredibly lonely lives

And every time you wake up next to him

It reminds you how lucky you are that you found him on that mountain

[iamstartraveller776]

Can you do a drabble in which Loki shows Jane for the first time looking like a Frost Giant and he's afraid of her reaction, not knowing that Jane is into alien romance novels and the one she's currently reading is about blue skinned men from an ice planet, so it turns her on when she's sees him this way. Btw yes there's a romance novel of that its by Ruby Dixon its called Ice Planet Barbarians.

rating: T (strong)

genre: canon divergence (post-thor: ragnarak; infinity war never happened. all the asgardians have made it safely to earth), humor, romance, jotun loki

summary: Jane Foster, brilliant astrophysicist with several degrees, has a dirty little secret—one that Loki finds very interesting.

Also on AO3 and FFN.

a/n: i changed some things from your prompt, vampi. also, my version of jotun loki is based on fan art by dyana wang. we are also going to pretend that jotuns can control whether their touch can injure other species. i mean, they can make ice come out of their hands and turn it into a weapon; it stands to reason that they can choose to cause frostbite in others—or not. i hope you enjoy this bit of crack fic!

FROST REALM JOTUN

It started with a pair of shoes.

Well, if Jane really wanted to pinpoint the beginning of things, she might say it was in the gilded halls of the Realm Eternal. Or maybe she could even blame the moment a deity out of mythology fell from the sky during a freak storm in the desert. Because meeting Thor meant eventually meeting Loki, and she learned that once you were on the radar of the God of Mischief, there was no escaping him—when he finally stopped hiding under the guise of his adopted father.

Some time after defeating Malekith, Jane and Thor went their separate ways. She’d been swept up in the romance of meeting an admittedly hot demigod from another world, but when they weren’t in the thick of a world-ending crisis, they discovered that they didn’t have all that much in common. He was often gone with the Avengers. She was often so wrapped up in her work that she hardly noticed his absences. They were better off as friends.

A year ago, a spaceship of Asgardian refugees showed up, seeking asylum on Earth as the Realm Eternal had been obliterated. Thor led the motley crew of survivors with Loki at his side. Loki, of all people! Jane had watched him die on the obsidian hills of Svartalfheim. She even shed a tear—for Thor’s sake, of course. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Jane was too busy to worry about immortals coming back from the dead.

Unfortunately, said resurrected immortal wasn’t too busy to worry about her.

Off and on over the last several months, the raven-haired prince popped up out of the blue at the oddest times. In her lab, at a Harvard alumni dinner, during a really awkward blind date. (That one she hadn’t minded as much.) And yes, at her apartment.

Hence the shoes.

It had been a long, fruitless day at the lab, and all Jane wanted to do was go home and fall into bed. Maybe read a passage or two from her favorite book to wind down. She trudged three flights to her floor, balancing a box full of data printouts under one arm and her satchel under the other—the strap had finally broken on the dilapidated thing—only to trip over something as soon as she stepped through her front door. Papers went flying, scattering across the entryway. When her eyes landed on the pair of large shiny Oxfords, she groaned.

Loki.

For one whole second, she entertained the idea of dragging him by an ear to the mess, demanding he help her clean it up. But last time she’d done something like that, he repaid her by changing all of her slides to cat memes when she was invited to present at the annual Astrophysics and Astronomy conference.

She heaved a sigh—hopefully loud enough to be overheard—and crammed all the printouts into the box. It was going to be hell to put them back in order, but right now she needed to get rid of her uninvited guest. She was too tired for whatever “harmless bit of fun” he had planned for the evening.

Jane found him in the living room, stretched out on his side across her second-hand couch. One long leg was bent up, arm propped on his knee. Today, he wore all black. Slacks, button-down, tie loosened at the color. An equally colorless jacket was carefully folded and draped over the back cushion. He didn’t immediately notice her, instead he was riveted by whatever book he was reading, pale eyes widened with profound curiosity. The expression reminded her of when she took him to the planetarium last month. How, during the show, he looked less like the cunning semi-reformed villain and more like an earnest student. He’d peppered her with dozens of questions afterward about Midgardian astronomy.

Her cheeks flushed at the memory. Because a switch flipped inside of her that night. One minute, he was a nuisance she grudgingly tolerated—she might even call him a friend on a good day, if she was pushed hard enough—and the next, butterflies took wobbly flight in her stomach whenever he flashed his dimples at her.

Like right now.

He glanced up from his book and gave her his signature grin that was on this side of feral. She pursed her lips to keep from smiling back. She was not happy to see him, she told herself. This was Loki. The maniacal demigod who had once tried to take over her world. Who faked his heroic death and stole the throne of Asgard. Who sometimes stared at her as if there was nothing else in the universe that could intrigue him more—that he could want more.

No, stop that. This was just her sorely neglected hormones latching onto the nearest available male. Darcy was right; Jane needed to get out of the lab more.

She crossed her arms as if to ward off his troublesome charm. “What are you doing here?”

Loki nonchalantly waved his free hand. “I couldn’t endure another insufferable evening of Thor recounting his exploits across the nine realms.” He rolled his eyes. “I thought I might find better company here.”

She snorted. Better entertainment, he meant. “I’m flattered,” she said, tramping down the little thrill in her middle that declared she actually was, “but I’m not up for visitors tonight. In fact, I’m heading to bed. So, if you’d just”—she mimicked the wrist-twisting he did whenever he used magic—“that’d be great.”

“Oh, but I’m already quite comfortable,” he said, not moving an inch. “I think I’ll stay and finish this fascinating tale.” He held up the book.

No. Please no. Her heart stopped. In his hand was her well-worn copy of Ice Planet Barbarians.

Jane had a dirty little secret. It wasn’t that she read the occasional romance novel. There was nothing wrong with that. It was that she really, really loved this particular love story—between a petite human woman and a seven-foot blue man with horns. She could say that her obsession with it was more about the absolute devotion the sa-khui males had for their human mates, argue that the female protagonist was surprisingly three-dimensional, but that would be a lie.

Jane had a very particular fetish. For aliens. Which might explain her whirlwind fling with Thor.

And her recent misplaced attraction to Loki.

“Where did you get that?” she asked, knowing that the book had been in her nightstand drawer among other things she’d rather he didn’t see.

“You took so long to return, and I exhausted your small library of mortal academia.” He said the last word with a note of derision. “This, however”—he gestured with the book—“has been terribly enlightening.”

She closed her eyes as mortification set her face on fire. Where was a catastrophic event when she needed one?

“Tell me,” Loki went on, “do all mortal women dream of being ravished by monsters?”

“Vektal is not a monster!” Jane snapped before she could think better of it.

“Oh? He’s not?”

She clenched her jaw, ready to let Loki have it for insulting her favorite romantic hero, but the tirade withered on her tongue when she looked at him. He was sitting up now, back straight, and though his expression was carefully neutral, he stared at her with fervent interest. As though the universe itself hung in the balance awaiting her answer.

Her throat felt suddenly dry. “He’s not.”

The corners of Loki’s mouth twitched. It wasn’t a smile, but something else. Something hungry. “And you,” he murmured, rising from the couch and crossing the small room toward her, “wish for an interlude with such a creature?”

Her breath hitched when her back touched the wall. “It’s just fiction. It’s nothing.”

He raised a brow in disbelief, giving a significant glance to the book with its dog-eared pages and tattered cover before setting it on the bookshelf next to her. “That isn’t what you want?”

Yes, she did. With every cell in her body, she wanted it. Not just the rabid loyalty of Vektal, but his otherness. But she’d die before making that confession to Loki. She tipped her chin up and, glowering at him, said, “Nope.”

Why, oh why did her voice have to betray her by sounding so airy?

His gaze dropped, traveling languidly from her eyes to her toes and back as he wet his bottom lip. “You’re certain?”

“Mm-hm.” She didn’t trust herself to speak, not when her heart was trying to bang its way out of her chest. Not when he was so close to her, she could grab him by his tie and—

What was happening?

He hummed with mock disappointment and took a step back. “Such a shame,” he said. “Particularly when you’ve had a very real Frost Giant at your disposal all this time.”

She frowned at him. “Frost Giant? What are you…”

The rest of her question died when he flicked a hand in the air. A wave of glittering green washed over him, taking with it his Asgardian, human-esque appearance. What was left in its wake made her lungs forget how to function. He was a bare-chested behemoth—at least a foot or two taller. And his skin was blue. With ridges etched into his flesh in intricate designs. He wore a crown with golden horns, and a kilt that reminded her of ancient Egyptian gods.

Was he trying to bring her fantasy to life as another prank? But his eyes were all wrong, a brilliant red instead of a glowing, pupil-less cerulean. Why would he change that important detail? In answer, a vague memory climbed out of the cobwebbed corner of her mind. Thor had told her once that his brother was adopted, that Loki had been born on Jotunheim as the son of the…Frost Giant king.

Oh.

This was what he really looked like?

Unable to stop herself, she stepped forward, brushing her fingers over the lines in his muscled abdomen. His skin wasn’t like suede—not like the imaginary sa-khui. It was supple, though, like well-cared for leather. And cool to the touch instead of hot. He didn’t have a tail, either. But all these differences were completely negligible according to the warmth building in her middle.

He was—dammit, he was breathtaking.

A low rumble in his chest startled her, and she yanked her hands back, glancing up at him. “Did you just…purr?”

Loki bore his teeth in a broad grin. “There are a few qualities I share with your beloved barbarian.” His voice. It was deeper and more resonant with a bare scratch of sandpaper. He retreated when she reached for him again. “Pity that you have absolutely no desire for any of this.”

“None at all,” she absently agreed as she tried to close the distance between them. Just one more touch. For the sake of science. She was absolutely not behaving like a toddler with grabby hands. (Gimme. Gimme. Gimme.)

What was wrong with her?

Keeping rudely out of range of her questing fingers, he let out an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose I should be going then.”

“No!” Jane’s eyes went wide at her involuntary outburst. “I mean…you don’t have to.” Her entire body was on fire now—from embarrassment and nothing else. Totally. One hundred percent.

Mirth left his crimson gaze, replaced by something wild. Something ravenous. He was on her without warning, picking her up as if she weighed nothing and setting her on one of her bookshelves so she was closer to eye-level with him. The wood groaned when he planted his large hands on either side of her thighs. Her middle came alive with feverish anticipation.

He was practically nose-to-nose with her. Gah, he even smelled delicious. Like an exotic spice sprinkled over winter. “Say it.”

She pressed her lips firmly closed and shook her head. She owed it to Morning Jane to resist temptation with every last rational brain cell she had left. There were disturbingly very few.

“Say you want this,” he murmured, and did she hear the tiniest hint of insecurity in his tone? Did he mean “this” as in “the real me”—as if no one had ever wanted that before?

And there went another dozen brain cells, lost to a pang of compassion in her chest. She started making silent apologies to Morning Jane. At this rate, she wasn’t going to last long, especially when his long fingers grazed against her hips.

“As for me,” he said with an impish grin, “I’m infinitely curious about Midgardian anatomy, particularly that third—”

“Don’t!” she hissed, heat flooding over her face. (Flooding other places too.) “I swear, if you say one more word—”

He swallowed her threat with his mouth over hers and yep. That was it. Every last brain cell happily gave up the ghost in favor of letting her live out her secret fantasy. She ran her hands over his wide shoulders, down his chest, tracing the raised lines in his skin. He rumbled in response, and she grinned against his lips as he carried her to her bedroom.

Morning Jane didn’t get a chance to regret anything later. Loki was too good at keeping her distracted—indefinitely.

It started with a pair of shoes.

Well, if Jane was being honest, she might say that it started with a book.

~FIN~

thank you for reading!

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

[bloodanddiscoballs]

I shouldn't really be surprised but I've seen some pretty gross memes from some horror blogs I've followed and promptly unfollowed. One was making fun of people who didn't like the new TCM movie by using a redrawn version of that Winnie the Pooh meme but made Pooh severely physically disabled as a visual representation for them not liking the movie. Now there's this other one which has actual mugshots of women who struggle with addictions with the last one that is of someone gripping a walker and the words "Predator Dick" over that image (as in the monster from the scifi movie btw).

I don't even know why I need to tell you all why these are gross. Like seriously wtf is wrong with some of you that you'll see those images and think oh this is sooo funny like what are you in middle school in the early 2000s? It's gross. Stop fucking making fun of disabled people and people with addictions. They aren't jokes. It's not funny. It makes you looks exactly how you are which is disgusting.

[ratingtheframe]

Why Armie Hammer’s Scandal Is More Than Kink Shaming

The 34 year old actor has had numerous allegations thrown his way this past month, from cannibalism to an obsession with BDSM. But do these allegations go beyond a widely accepted community of kink lovers and venture into deeply rooted misogyny?

Warning: this article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual assault. 

For those of you who aren’t aware of Armie Hammer’s presence on screen, you may be scratching your head and wondering what on earth people are talking about, seeing the cannibalism aspect to this all as face value without making the connection between Hammer’s past behaviours and current allegations. The actor who rose to prominence in Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher’s The Social Network (2013) playing both of the Winklevoss twins, has become quite the favourite amongst the film industry. His role Oliver in Luca Guadagnino’s Call me by your name (2017) has sent Twitter into a permanent frenzy as memes and daily adoration for Chalamet and Hammer’s on screen romance continue to thrive even 4 years after the film's release. As well as Call me your name, Hammer is known for roles in Sorry to Bother You (2018), Rebecca (2020), On the Basis of Sex (2018) and soon to be released, Death on The Nile (2021). He currently has another film due to be released and a Call me by your name sequel in development. Sounds as if he’s got a lot going for him and despite him not being the biggest star to be churned out of Hollywood today, the recognition is still there and with that, he’s still being paid. 

The Allegations

At the beginning of the year, an account emerged under the handle of @houseofeffie, that was created to expose some lurid and unpleasant communication between several women and Armie Hammer. Some of which he had relations with whilst married to his now ex wife Elizabeth Chambers. The nature of these dms are incredibly disturbing and worrying considering that Hammer not only has children but as an actor, spends a proportionate time around women.

These are just a few of the messages that were exposed that led the media to brandish Hammer as a “cannibal”:

Hammer:

 “You are the god damned standard I hold women to in terms of kink and enjoyment of fucking the[n]...”

“I need to drink your blood, why the distance?” “...thinking of holding your heart in my head and controlling when it beats”

“I am 100% a cannibal...I want to eat you....Fuck...that’s scary to admit..”

“I’ve cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while still warm”

“You were the most intense and extreme version [that I’ve ever had]. Raping you on the floor with a knife against you. Everything else seemed boring”

“You [were] crying and screaming, me standing over you.  I felt like a god. I’ve never felt such power or intensity.”

“You just live to obey and be my slave”

“Would you come and be my property till you die? If I wanted to cut off one of your toes and keep it with me in my pocket so I always had a piece of you in my possession?”

“I want to see your brain, your blood, your organs, every part of you… I would definitely bite it...100%”

...O-kay. Lots to unpack here. First and fore mostly, I’d like to address the kink shaming element to all of this. I personally don’t see any harm in kinks, BDSM, pornography, as long as people are consenting and aren’t inflicting unsolicited pain upon people. Therefore, kink shaming and finding Hammer’s taste in sexual preferences isn’t what we are here to discuss. In fact when I first read the allegations, that wasn’t even my initially thought. CNN posted an article two days ago titled “Armie Hammer May Be Disturbed, But Is Shaming Him the Answer?” an opinion based article by Aaron Weaver that explores the allegations and believes Hammer shouldn’t be shamed for his kinks. But this begs the question whether Hammer was actually being shamed? I didn’t see much evidence for this seeing as people were mostly horrified by his taste in human flesh than anything else, a kink that is uncommon in the BDSM community and is only practiced by the most extreme. 

Kinks aside, the most worrying thing about the DMs above is the way in which he views women and their bodies. It’s clear to see that he might not have much respect for women seeing as he proudly states his willingness to cut them up and drink their blood. And funnily enough, the sexual objectification of women’s bodies for one's own sexual pleasure without considering their comfortability is classed as misogyny. A reddit user made an extremely good point on a thread about Hammer’s scandal stating:

“To me, the problem is not that he’s into rough sex, or that he has kinks some people find scary. It’s not about yucking his yum, so to speak. I’m more concerned that he may have ignored safe words and pushed his partners beyond their limits. I feel like the media is focusing so much on his kinks and sexuality as opposed to his ignoring of consent, which is a complete and utter inversion of priorities”

Past Relationships

Another example of Hammer disrespecting the boundaries of women and sexual pleasure would be his past girlfriend Paige Lorenze. Lorenze is a 23 year model and former professional skier who has shone a light on Hammer’s worrying behaviour and his involvement in BDSM activity. The sources of Lorenze’s allegations are highly unreliable, which is one of the most frustrating things about this entire charade. The BBC BRIEFLY covered the fact that Hammer dropped out of his latest film amid the allegations, without fully going into detail about the allegations or the abuse subjected towards his former partners. It just goes to show we’re rubbish at taking abuse seriously enough to the point where people are punished for their wrongdoings. Had a more reliable news source covered this story, then it’d make it more viable to the public. Even though this scandal is in its early days, that doesn’t necessarily mean it's unimportant or should be swept under the rug along with the hundreds of other scandals that Hollywood refuses to expose.

Only the Daily Mail, The Sun and Page Six seem to have gone in depth with the accusations, making the entire story rather murky for the reader. Anyhow, Paige Lorenze said to the Daily Mail that Hammer had carved an ‘A’ above her groin without her consent and licked it whilst it bled. He had also reportedly tied her up and hit her with paddles to fuel his BDSM obsession and sexual desires. Lorenze was quoted saying 'Any man who is fantasizing about crushing bones, eating them, having sex with female limp bodies is a danger to all women'. Hammer insisted to Lorenze that his behaviour was normal, and that there was an entire community of people that carried out the same things he did on her. This is partially correct seeing as the global sex play market is worth over $30 billion, with practices in such activities dating back to the mid 19th century. However, the one thing the BDSM community doesn’t condone is not giving consent, which is where the fine line is drawn in between Hammer’s sexual preferences and the BDSM community. His choice to carve that ‘A’ into Lorenze isn’t backed up by a wider community of people who enjoy a variety of sexual pleasure. Lorenze claims he also DMed nude photos of her being tied up to people without her consent, further perpetuating Hammer’s lack of respect towards people’s boundaries. This is a serious incident, that sees someone with more power (Hammer is 6’5 and Lorenze is 5’6 btw) assert their dominance and by doing so, degrades and harms someone else. We shouldn’t be kink shaming Hammer, but shaming him for thinking that this behaviour is acceptable.

Hammer’s previous relationships can also draw some light into his lack of respect for women. He and his wife Elizabeth Chambers divorced in July 2020 after a decade of marriage. Though it's unknown what triggered the separation, these recent allegations may have something to do with it. Furthermore, two other women have come forward to express their distaste towards Hammer and his questionable fantasies. Entrepreneur and ex-girlfriend of Armie Hammer, Courtney Vucekovich, told Page Six that Hammer wanted to “break [her] rib and barbecue it and eat it”. She also expressed how easy it was for Hammer to charm his way through into getting women, especially young women into doing what he wants through “active manipulation and making you feel like he’s never felt this way about anybody.” Lorenze was also subjected to similar retort after reporting that Hammer too wanted to barbecue one of her ribs because she “didn’t need it”. Writer Jessica Ciencen Henriquez took to twitter last summer after a lunch date with Hammer and expressed that she had blocked him on Instagram. She later went on to tweet this:

“If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims”

Exactly my point here. There’s not much to this scandal other than the fact that several people were hurt and undermined and someone else caused it. Someone who is societally above everyone because of their race, class, status and gender, with a well connected and dominant family support system. 

His background and past 

Hammer comes from a very powerful and wealthy family. Hammer’s great grandfather, Armand Hammer, was the chief executive officer and president of the Occidental Petroleum company founded in 1920. Now if you’re wondering the exact scale of such a company that is still running today, they are the 4th largest oil and gas acquisition in the entire world worth over $100 billion. ONE HUNDRED, BILLION, DOLLARS. Not all actors in Hollywood can say that their great-grandfathers were worth that much, which gives me little hope in seeing Hammer be held accountable for what he’s done. He was also kicked out of UCLA after apparently not “being able to do it”.  Just another rich white male with enough power, malice and money to work his way around any struggle.

Now that we’ve established Hammer’s allegations, it’s worth looking back to see whether the signs of such behaviour were already prevalent in the numerous interviews he partook in over the years. Complex highlighted an episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from 2017, where the host brought up Hammer’s obsession with knots, to which he laughed off and claimed that “knots make sense” that they are a “language” and referenced how man used knots before the wheel. Valid points but ones that are debunked in light of his interest in BDSM. during a 2013 interview with Playboy (appropriate) Hammer expressed that his “sexual appetites changed'' when he married his wife and that hair pulling used to be something he enjoyed but could no longer do now that he was married “even though he wanted to”. This is quite the backwards comment when we’re talking about respecting boundaries and it's clear to see it was only a matter of time before his desires could no longer be repressed.

Since this whole shit storm began to travel Hammer’s way, he has since dropped out of the film The Billion Dollar Spy, which would’ve seen him star alongside Jennifer Lopez. BBC News reported that this move was made as Hammer stated that “I cannot in good conscience now leave my children for four months to shoot a film in the Dominican Republic” following the ‘vicious’ online abuse he’s been subjected to. Hammer was again put in the firing line by Grand Cayman law enforcement for lying about a woman provocatively shown in a video was Miss Cayman of the Miss Cayman beauty pageant that’s held on the island. He and the woman were warned for their misconduct and had confirmed the matter is now closed. 

Final Thoughts

There are enough red flags in Hammer’s behaviour to open up a flag store, and I would go as far as to say that this isn’t the end of it. For someone who’s grown up having the majority of things they want, it's easy to want more beyond morality and despite the discomfort of others. Hammer’s move to drop out of his latest film was an attempt to lessen the blow of hate being turned towards him as opposed to the benefit of those he’s hurt. So far, him and his lawyer have denied all allegations and further action hasn’t been taken against the Hollywood star. He’s apologised for the DMs and brandished his actions a “foolish attempt at humour”. 

Wrapping his own behaviour up in humour is an attempt to detract from the severity of the behaviour itself, whilst excusing it, something he can get away with because of his status. 

Major media outlets haven’t done much in even attempting to expose this man’s behaviour and have left it up to unreliable sources to piece together the true persona of Armie Hammer. Though innocent until proven guilty, common sense is widely available to the general public meaning we should be delving into the past a little and comparing it to these allegations. Along with Hammer’s character, family and unnerving Instagram posts of cutting up meat and eating raw steak, there doesn’t seem to be much in the actor’s favour. 

All I would say is as a director, producer, writer or actor, would you feel comfortable in being associated with someone who believes they're a cannibal and marvels at the idea of drinking human blood? Or someone who goes as far to objectify women to the point where they become nothing but sexual fulfilment and pieces of meat? 

That’s all I’ll say and those who do feel comfortable doing such a thing means that Hammer may still have a career at the end of the day. One point to Hollywood, no points to political correctness and respecting women. 

[istanhooman]

I'm going to be making head canons and the like on these characters by @yesimahooman

Totallyahooman, the owner of these characters, said I should make a post about her characters so you all know what you're getting into hehe. They're all cats btw, and I'm on my phone so there's going to be mistakes. Most likely.

Apparently these characters are called the "meme team" because Totally made four of them (Toby, Oliver, Gingerale, and Milo) for an animation meme and fell in love. They didn't even have names until like a month later ig lmao

Toby: He's really friendly, but unlike Two-Tone understands boundaries - even if he's a little hyper and annoying. Toby will happily drop anything for his friends. Basically the generic "good guy" Character (But Totally says he had an edgy phase in a cat's version of teen years). He has three little sisters, who always insisted on playing with him, which didn't work well with his edgy phase. Totally told me he doesn't have a father, but he has a mother that looks a lot like him and she's the sweetest darling ever. Toby's the peach-ish, brown and white one.

Two-Tone: Speaking of Two-Tone, the wittle baby man omg I love him. Totally said he was originally made for the weird animation memes, because she had the nice one, the anxious one, the dad-friend, the angry one and the murderer. And yeah, you can use an edgy killer for weird/edgy memes, but she wanted WEIRD. And so Two-tone was made. But he apparently evolved into a really sweet cat who just doesn't understand how to communicate with people. He's been friends with Toby since childhood (kittenhood?) and seemingly came from nowhere. No parents at all. Toby's family basically adopted him (though I kinda ship them???)

Oliver: Anxious boyo. He's the blue one with big worried eyes. I also love him, he's so adorable. Anyway- Oliver's worrying about everything, constantly. He's also really easy to pick on because he'd be too scared to defend himself. Actually, Cinder tries killing him the most out of the team, which forces Gingerale to protect the bb. Totally told me that when she draws the two, she can't help but draw Oliver huddling behind Gingerale for protection and I live for that. She also said that he was an only child, so he learned how to be by himself and is still getting used to actually being around other cats. She said that Oliver's mom is also really sweet, but she was too soft and didn't force Oliver into anything he was uncomfy with (which were simple fears like the dark or strangers) and so he never got that exposure that's needed to NOT be a crying mess.

Gingerale: The ginger cat. He's a very grumpy boy and hates all things fun. Actually that's not true, but he's very tsundere. He'll bully his friends, but as soon as someone does it, he's going OFF on them. He somehow always catches Cinder when she's trying to kill the team, too which would he so much fun to see. Totally said Gingerale's used to being ignored because he was one of the middle kittens of TWELVE. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP RNAKKD. kinda sad to imagine tho, poor bby.

Cinder: Finally, the one I kept mentioning. The gray and white gorl. To explain her murderous ways, Totally gave me a run down: As a kitten, Cinder was severely bullied by three older ones. Their mothers didn't do anything to stop it, and Cinder's own mother was too deep in self-pity due to her mate leaving her. All because he didn't want kittens :(. So, Cinder didn't get anyone to defend her from these bullies. One night, Cinder's mom stands up and straight up leaves. Totally gave a small, sad detail of "So, wondering where her mom was going, Cinder followed after her. But Cinder's mom turns only to push the kitten away, giving her an angry glare before leaving for good. Cinder's never seen her again." And i- that's so depressing. Anyway, Cinder finally snapped and killed one of the kittens bullying her. Finally the mothers cared, but only for their own. They exiled Cinder from the area, and Cinder complied. But she never forgot how nice it felt to finally have some power and since then, she's just kinda- killed cats. Totally finished it with "Cinder found the meme team and thought they'd be easy, but Gingerale's a good match against her. So... She's just for comedy's sake now I guess". That was long, sorry.

Milo: Big boi. Big soft boi. I really like him, but also I couldn't help but think about Milo from Pokemon Sword and Shield. I told Totally this and she went "Yeah, I made him before the game was officially out and before I played it. I had no idea" And I'll just accept her word. He's cute tho, the gray tabby. He's bigger than his friends and is super fatherly to them, even though he's around their age. Always making sure Oliver isn't so scared, Two-Tone and Toby are out of trouble, Gingerale actually socializes and the twins are recognized more. Very sweet.

Aidan: Speaking of the twins, they're the last two I need to tell you about! First is Aidan. He's the one with sunglasses. And also the spikier fur, and he's the boy. I like him because he thinks he's really cool and popular, but he's not. In fact Totally always forgets the twins exist. She's getting better at it, she says. She told me that Aidan is that one "I'm so cool" character who's calm and collected usually, but if a girl (or boy, she claims their sexualities are never specified and up to interpretations for the creativity) flirted with him, he'd DIE. I need to make hcs on this.

Nadia: The pretty girl. Basically it. She's really nice and understanding, but always finds a way to insult her brother casually. The twins have always been there for each other, but at the end of the day they're siblings. They're going to argue with each other. In fact, Totally said she likes to take a bit from her own siblings and say things like "Oh yeah, and Nadia one day would be all 'Aidan, brother, listen to me. I love you, but you're ugly. No girl would like you' And Aidan turns to his sister, slightly pulls down the sunglasses that somehow stay on his face and glances at her up and down before sighing, 'But Nadia, you're forgetting. You look just like me, but curly. You're just as ugly as I am, and you won't find love either.' Or smth like that. Just the casual insulting chaos that is siblings".

EDIT: Totally told me she updated character sheets and said I should replace the old ones! So most of these aren't old now

[aflockofwildgeese]

A Get-to-Know-Me Tag Game! I am sorry in advance!

I was tagged by @ellayouneedtostudy ! Hey there! You seem like a super cool human and you are such a frickin talented artist! Anyways, time for a super long post!

Nickname: None (Mary isn’t the easiest name to nickname)

Zodiac: Cancer 

Height: 5′6

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!

Last Thing I Googled: mla citation format (you would think an English major finishing her second year would have that memorized but NOPE)

Fave Musicians: Not counting musical theatre artists, probably Fall Out Boy, Hozier, dodie, P!ATD, Queen, MCR, Fleetwood Mac, and Paramore

Song Stuck In My Head: Right now it’s One Thousand and One Nights from Twisted, this morning it was To Noise Making by Hozier, for the past few days it was the original funky French version of ABC Cafe/Red and Black from Les Miserables

Following: exactly 200

Followers: 35 (what are y’all doing??)

Do You Get Asks?: Every once in a while

Regular Amount Of Sleep: Usually around 7 hours, but it varies greatly

Lucky Number: I don’t really have one, but guess I’ll go with 7?

What Are You Wearing?: a black sleeveless top with orangish/yellow flowers on it and jean shorts because it is 104 degrees and I hate everything

Dream Job: Hmm, I would say either an editor for novels or something on the creative behind-the-scenes side of theatre (like writing and directing), but I am particularly unqualified for the latter lol

Dream Trip: I don’t feel like I have a single dream trip, I think really just any trip abroad with (a) friend(s) cuz I’m a sappy Hufflepuff who wants to see the world but doesn’t really care exactly where she goes as long as the people I care about are with me

Do You Play Any Instruments?:Not anymore, sadly. I played violin and piano for several years each but fell out of practice when my depression and anxiety worsened, although trying to relearn them is one of my goals for the future

Do You Speak Any Other Languages?: Sadly no, I took Spanish in high school and one class in college, but I never use it so I can only speak a tiny bit and understand a mediocre amount

Fave songs: Oh god, that’s such a hard question... Uh, if I include favorites from musicals this isn’t going to end so I’ll just a few non-musical theatre songs that come to mind as either current or all-time favorites are To Noise Making and also Be by Hozier, I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie, Don’t Stop Me Now and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, Waterloo by ABBA, Last Hope by Paramore, Save Rock And Roll by Fall Out Boy, Organs by Of Monsters and Men

Random Fact: I am a big fan of the SCU (Sharknado Cinematic Universe). In a world of pretention and cringe culture, few things make me happier than purposefully terrible, batshit crazy media that gets made just because why the fuck not. Tbh the epitome of poetic cinema

Aesthetic: aw man I’m terrible at this but... old books, rainy days, alternating between wearing lots of black or bright colors and florals depending on the day, hazelnut coffee, sending memes and animal pics to friends, suppressing the urge to sing along when listening to musicals in your earbuds on the bus, ugly scribbles in the margins of a notebook

Cats or Dogs: I hate this question because I love both SO MUCH but my standard answer is that I would probably rather have a dog if I had to choose only one as a pet

Tagging: I am officially tagging @alexaplaygirlslikegirls because she’s the only one I know is ok being tagged in stuff, but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

BTW I know I was tagged by 2 people in a similar thing a while ago, and I’m sorry I never got around to it, I meant to but just forgot!

[of-sunshine-and-sea]

Honesty asks: 2, 5, 6, 14, 22, 23, 26, 30, 34, 53, 54, 67, 76, 80, 91, 94, 116, 123, 124, 140, 151, 167 if you wanna do them

2. What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Dragon, but a medium one so it could carry me around but wouldn't take much place, also I really want to have a lot of snakes

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Right now it's my internet friends, my trip to the sea in July, and the drawings I want to draw

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? TERFS, Nazi and bigots don't interact

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? I don't know what is good at being an elf, so if choose between vampire and merperson, I choose merperson, cause I love the sun a lot, prefer to not die from it, And if the sun couldn’t kill vampires, still merperson ‘cause the ocean

22: Pet peeves? Talks/questions about my traumas, my sexuality/gender or my depression, empty boxes in the fridge, dirty dishes on the table, when people don't wash their hands after the toilet

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal, because again I love the sun

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? Yes, they're pretty

30: Favorite movie? Pride and prejudice, Tangled, Enchanted, Princess and the Frog, Brother Bear, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Star Trek movies with Chris Pine, What We Do In The Shadow, Hot Fuzz, Coco, Howl's moving castle, Spirited Away, Cat's Return

34: What is a color that calms you? White, ochre, brown

53: How are you feeling right now? Recently had several mental breakdowns, but now I'm fine and a bit stressed about my future

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Right now I like my natural hair color, I even had nightmares where I dyed them accidentally and was panicked but then saw myself in the mirror with long hair and calmed down because, in reality, my hair is short. Btw, after I cut them it became easier to realize if I'm in the dream or not 'cause in my dreams I always have long hair for some reason

67: Favorite meme: There are a lot of them and every time I tried to put them all in my answer, Tumblr uploaded the tab, so I’m gonna make the whole post with them

76: Do you like birds? Yes, they're neat, I'm a big fan of their songs

80: Something you wish did exist: The common sense among the people living on this planet

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? I have no idea actually. Thoughts?

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds is cool and all, but I'd like to fly to get to the places free

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus clouds, when they are thick and volumetric, like cotton candy

123: Sweet or sour foods? Sour food! 

124: Bright or dim lights? Both I guess depends on the mood

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? No, but I tried to have one. In movies and books, they make imaginary friends very clear, very real, I've never been able to do it, to believe it 100%, so I quickly forgot about it. But once I lied to my real friend that I have a lot of friends elsewhere and made up funny stories about them, she probably understood that they didn't exist, but didn't say anything

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?   I'd go to the dinosaurs.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world were created? You mean religious and scientific opinions? I like the scientific version more and I like to watch movies about it