#no more angst we’re back to shitposting <3

[ghostdrinkssoup]

“you make leaps you can’t explain”

(image credit: @/spriteismadebyfairies on instagram)

[dreamcatcherrs]

a high school prom au where the reader and Dream are like childhood best friends and the readers date shows up with someone else then when the reader feels all lonely, Dream is like “what if we danced🥺” ??? anyways love you and your fanfics you’re like my favorite writer on tumblr💖💘

+ this is such a cute concept! I’ve never written anything like this, but I hope it was what you wanted<3

++ also this is such an old request, I’m so sorry

prom night - dream

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: high school au! dream x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after being abandoned by your prom date, the person you expected the least to spend the night with asks you for a dance.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.501

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, fluff, swearing, slight mention of alcohol use.

song recommendation: love on the brain - rihanna

you couldn’t believe your eyes.

there your date stood, arm wrapped around a person that you for sure knew wasn't you. the excitement disappeared from every corner and edge of your body, hands falling to your sides in complete disappointment.

proudly, your so-called date stepped forward in line with a smile on their face, waiting to be the next for the photo shoot the had been set up. your smile was gone. and so was your passion for continuing this prom.

looking down, you turned on your heels, walking away from the great asshole of a date, and finding an empty seat by one of the available tables.

you’d wondered why it took so long for your date to arrive - you should’ve known, really. but no - now you were just left sitting alone by an empty table. what was the point of even being there anymore when all you could feel was loneliness?

everyone else was having fun, partying and smiling about the night ahead of them - just like you should’ve been. but now, you were just left with feeling disappointed in yourself. how could you make yourself believe that someone actually wanted to bring a date like you to the prom? what were you thinking?

you sighed deeply as you rested your head in the palm of your hand, other hand busy with tracing the cutouts on the table.

“just go over there, man!”

“yeah, they’re just sitting there all alone… this is your perfect chance!”

clay scratched the back of his head, staring down at the drink in his hand.

“I don't know… what if they say no?”

george and nick both rolled their eyes. the only one who really believed that was gonna happen would be clay. it was crystal clear to literally everyone else that the two of you had developed feelings for each other over the many years of knowing one another. clay would always brush it off with a “we’re just friends”, but really, he knew they were right.

he’d known you since he was 8 and you 7 - having been best friends since that day and until last year. you'd kinda… broken off since then. as you grew older, more important things had distracted you from keeping the connection, and eventually, you just slipped away.

he knew he liked you as more than a friend. but he was certain you didn't.

after all, you wanted to go with a complete dickhead, who ditched you anyway. and now look where you were.

“hey guys~ why are you wasting the night just standing here? let’s party!” karl slurred as he came crashing into george and nick, swinging both arms around their shoulder from behind.

as george was busy pushing karls’ arm off of him, and nick pulling him closer, clay’s eyes were only focused on you. you looked so… sad. no one should be sad on their prom night, and frankly, maybe his friends were right.

before he knew it, his feet dragged him across the dance floor, towards your place on the chair. george’s eyes widened, a big smile spreading across his face, showing off his braces.

“would you two stop flirting with each other and watch what is happening right now?”

nick and karl giggled.

“why, are you jealous gogy?” nick teased, causing a light shade of pink to brush across george’s cheeks.

“shut up-”

“hey.”

the second you broke away from your melancholy stare at the table, your heart started racing and a wave of sweat danced across your skin. he hadn't talked to you since… you couldn’t even remember the last time.

lifting your head off your hand, you sat up straight, watching as clay scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“hi,” you responded, voice quiet and unsure.

why was he talking to you all of a sudden? after all these months with absolutely no contact with each other, now he wants to talk to you? on the other hand, it’s not like you'd been very communicative with him either…

clay hesitated slightly, shifting on his feet. “why are you sitting here all alone? I thought you had a date?”

you sighed, corner of your lips turning down slightly. “yeah… they ditched me.” you looked away from him, feeling somewhat embarrassed that you'd let yourself get into a situation like that.

clay felt bad. how could someone let go so easily of someone as perfect as you? on the other hand, this meant that no one else could have you - and that made him kind of relieved.

he hesitated a little before speaking up again; “what a dickhead.”

that made you laugh a little. “yeah.”

silence approached after that, and a tension started building up. the both of you could feel the unspoken words you'd been keeping from each other rise up - yet you remained quiet.

after all, there wasn’t really anyone you could blame your fading friendship on - apart from yourselves.

clay cleared his throat, as a new, slower song came on, hand reaching out in front of him, hovering right before you. your eyes trailed along his tux-clad arm and up to his eyes, noticing the withheld love in them.

“do you wanna dance with me?”

you blinked at him, thankful that the fluorescent lights made it hard for him to see the blush on your cheeks. your heart felt as if it was pounding out of your chest.

“I-,” you stuttered, recollecting yourself quickly before placing your hand into his, fitting perfectly right into his palm. you smiled up at him softly. “I’d love to.” he smiled back to you, gripping onto your hand and lead you through the large crowd of people onto the dance floor.

he turned to you, taking in how absolutely breathtaking you looked right then. it was hard for him not to blurt out compliments at you at any given chance.

his hands found their place on your waist, and you let your hand snake around his neck, resting right where his haircut ended. it tickled him in a way that made him realise just how much he had missed your touch - hell, even talking to you reminded him of how lonely he’d felt without you.

slowly, the two of you swayed from side to side along to the song, just staring into each others eyes. clay sneaked a glance down at your lips, quickly averting his eyes again once you parted them.

“I’m really sorry we haven’t talked for so long,” you spoke, twirling a finger around one of his locks. “I miss it a lot. I missed you, clay.”

you stared at him with a look of guilt, biting down on your bottom lips once you'd finished your sentence. you looked down again, feeling sorry that you hadn't reached out to him before.

clay moved a hand to your cheek, tilting your head upwards so you'd look at him again. your eyes widened at the touch of his fingers, and you melted into his hand once his thumb bushed across the soft skin of your cheek.

“I missed you too, y/n. don't be sorry about that - I could’ve reached out too, y’know? we’re both guilty on that note. but, now that I can finally talk to you again, I don't wanna worry about the past, okay? I just want you to have a good night.”

you smiled softly at his words, feeling a wave of forgiveness wash over you. it felt good to know that you had your friend back again.

“I don't think my night can be ruined at this point,” you smiled, moving your hands from his nape to his shoulders instead.

“well, can I still make it a little bit better?” you raised an eyebrow at him, cocking your head to the side slightly.

his eyes fell down to look at your lips again, this time not being able to hold back from the temptation.

your lips attached to his.

and everything around you just stopped.

your eyes fluttered closed, leaning into the kiss once you realised what was happening, only making him pull you closer to him. his lips moved so gently, slowly against yours, a withheld desire finally being released.

who cared about the things that’d gotten in the way of your friendship? all that mattered right now was this very moment - that’s all that ever mattered.

“yes clay!”

“finally he fucking did it.”

the yelling coming from karl and nick from a distance away made the two of you break away from each other, turning your heads to the direction of them. george elbowed nick in the stomach to stop him from jumping into the air, revealing their spying spot.

you chuckled lightly at them, slowly turning your head back to clay with a lick of your lips. clay sent them a nice “fuck off” with his middle fingers, before also returning to the current situation and smiling at you widely.

“better now?”

you smiled wider at that. if only he knew.

______________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami @highoffhockey @popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing @clownsdrowning @pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises @tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams  @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork  @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50  @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade@venusomega @ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh @floatingplanets​ @vernon-dursley​ @childhoodgrunge​ @fivxss @hexagonclash​ @crazyjuls12​ @littlebabysandboxburritos @shifted-dreams @lenamarie666

[luci-cunt]

im about to go to sleep but when i awaken i hope to find an essay from you on how i get into hermitcraft

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (just got home from work and I have a new puppy so I will be dead for the next week but here's this very quick overview bc I love you and also Hermitcraft)

SO--YOU WANNA FALL DEEPER DOWN THE MCYT HOLE BC DSMP WASN'T CONVOLUTED ENOUGH???? TIRED OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE LORE AND HARD-TO-FOLLOW PLOTLINES FILLED WITH ANGST AND TRAUMA??? WANT SOMETHING A BIT MORE LAID BACK????

OH BOY DO I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU!!!

First of all: Hermitcraft is essentially a series where a bunch of super talented and pretty longstanding mcyt-ers play on a single minecraft server for a period of a "season" and build absolutely fucking insane bases and vibe together. It's all very structured and organized so on every member's channel u'll find playlists for each season.

(oh and by longstanding mcyt-ers I mean literal pioneers in the mcyt community, people who have redstone inventions named after them bc they've been around longer than the redstone itself--etc)

The server is super chill!!! Everyone is very nice and they all get along super well and coordinate things on a discord server so that everyone's got all the info and they also prioritize building over basically everything--which means like, fire tic is off (meaning fire cannot spread), you do not steal anythign unless you will pay it back at least like twice over (once Grian accidentally killed ppl so he grinded them out full enchanted netherite armor/tools + some blocks and this is literally just like, what everyone does)

But!!!! besides all that!!!! where do you start *watching*!!!!

There are something like,,, 30 members on teh HC server??? more??? I cannot remember. Every one of them posts Hermitcraft episodes to their youtube channels, but there's also a HC recap youtube channel dedicated to weekly recaps of all hermit activity which you can find here!!

The thing about HC is that everytime there's a new update to MC, or even just the server starts to get stale--they throw out the world and start a new, completely empty one from scratch and thus is a new "season." Currently we're only a few episodes into the 8th season!

I watch a very limited scope of HC but--here are my limited reccomendations

GRIANNNNNNNN: because of course, we love grian, we stan grian, he has cats--what more could you ask for? Yes you've seen him gracing your screen in MCC and killing it, and you've also most likely seen him in fanart comparing him to Philza bc both are badass MC players with ✨wings✨he's chaotic and super creative and very kind! he also builds lots of mega builds and they are *incredible.* You're gonna wanna watch him if you want some good, lighthearted gremlin content.

Goodtimeswithscar: my BELOVED!!! This man is like, chaos but make it absolutely harmless. He is Dr. Doofenshmurtz levels of unfunctioning in the best ways possible. Mans tries so hard to be a villain and he just akjsd;lfja;sldfkj cannot pull it off and I adore him so much for it. Also he's got a new vibe every season--last season he was a wizard who lived in a giant snail before moving into a massive mining-construciton-thing??? And this season he has very much Howl's Moving Castle vibes. He also streams on twitch!!! Which I would totally recommend bc he's very chill and fun to listen to. You're gonna wanna watch him if you want a little bit more spice to your episodes--what is that spice exactly? Just watch and you'll see >:))

Some honorable mentions of ppl I don't really watch but love:

Pearlescentmoon: she's a new member to the HC server this season and I love her!!! I've only seen her a bit in Grian and Scar's vids but she took down an entire build just to rotate it like 90 degrees we stan an icon.

Mumbojumbo: a redstone fucking madman--also like--posh?? but in an unoffensive way?? I have no idea this man is so white but also I love him?? that doesn't describe him right just--just watch something of his and you'll understand.

Bdubs: my BELOVED!!! he's just aslkjd;flajsdflk everything, idk man just watch a vid and you'll be in love he's just aslkjdf;lasjkf everything. His starter house is a massive moon with a clock hanging from it it's so pog I love him so much watch his videos

OH AND WHAT'S THAT???? YOU GET HOOKED ON HC CONTENT BUT THINK,,,,,,, 'HM--THERE'S NOT QUITE ENOUGH MURDER IN THIS'???

BRO I"VE GOT THE ANSWER FOR YOU!

(also it's very short--I think there's only like 8 episodes cuz there was only 8 sessions--it's complicated but Grian explains it in the first ep dw)

3rd Life SMP

(everyone has 3 lives--losing the first 2 means nothing, but once you die 3 times you goal becomes to kill every other player on the server. It does not go over like this. Roleplay ensues. Gays are had. What the fuck why does Ren have a scottish accent--why is he dead--MARTYN WHAT--)

You want wholesome gays with a bit of angst but an overall happy ending that will make you cry???

Watch Mr. Gaming and Scott Smajor's POV

(they live in a flower filled valley in little hobbit holes and they are husbands and they are not going to murder people bc that is not what nice people do and--oh my god did you just fucking kill my husband alright murder is ok--)

You want lighthearted, roleplay light hilarity???

Watch Grian and Scar's POV

(there's a llama named pizza, grian is bloodthirsty and not even on his red life, and scar really just would rather steal cookies and scam ppl out of their nice clothes than kill ppl)

You want somethign I can't even really describe but there's royalty involved?? and people dying for one another and very dramatic rp??

WATCH THE RED KING AND HIS HAND BRING UPON THE RED WINTER

(there's not even an explanation I can give here, I love them, they're killing it)

(there are other awesome ppl on the server but that's who I was mostly watching, also--Maj--to get you invested here's some mostly spoiler free cool fanart to hook you and some shitposts that are hilarious and very accurate <3 XDD)

Be warned tho man,,, that last episode--on anyone's POV alk;jsdf;lajsd it's ajlsd;fkjsad;lfkj just

Ok sleep time now, I had to cuddle a needy puppy like, throughout this whole thing and typed most of it with one hand you would not believe how hard it is to find and link this many things with one hand if you do not click on every single link I will know and I will stab you <3

[lucemferto]

I feel like the difference between angsty fanfic and an angsty source material is that with fanfic, you can choose when you partake and what type of angst you're getting into due to things like tags and stuff. And while you choose to partake in media as well, the usual media doesn't have anywhere near the extensive warnings fanfic do. Especially in DSMP where it started kind of irreverent and funny, got more serious but still had light at the end of the tunnel, and is now just an angst no comfort fest, seeing what depths the story sinks too is harder to deal with than willingly reading a very angsty fanfic or writing one for your own catharsis. Because it's safe. You know what you're getting into. It's on your own terms. Vs the ccs playing with your emotions like cackling puppet masters behind the scenes.

Some people like that stuff. I for one, don't and am trying to get back into some other, less angsty series to balance out the misery, but some people are all for it. I got into DSMP as an escape from quarantine, and it is certainly not an escape anymore. I guess since you do narrative analysis you're a bit more removed from the angst but damn if I could barely watch that last Philza and Fundy stream.

How dare you derive such a thoughtful ask from my bad shitpost! Now you have made me look like a damned, insensitive fool!

In all seriousness though, this a good thing to bring up. Fandoms are not a monolith, of course, and everyone has different thresholds and preferences when it comes to content, narrative, tone, etc.

Personally - without trying to step on anyone’s toes - I think people tend to overstate how angsty everything is. I mean, things have gone dark; but we’re also in the middle of the story - things tend to get dark around here. The more dire Act II the more exciting it is to see how the heroes will prevail in Act III. Season 2 handled that pretty fine with Dream’s ultimate defeat, I’d say.

And still, we have goofy stuff like the Beeduo marriage, Tommy still sprinkles some comedy inbetween the more introspective moments, the Eggpire in general were more on the silly side as antagonists (some choice BadBoyHalo and Ponk scenes excluded) and in their most triumphant moment they were foiled.

And that’s disregarding how light and fluffy the beginning of Season 3 was: With the Hotel-arc and Jack and Niki as the ineffectual, cartoony villains. I’m sure once S3 has reached its climax and S4 starts, we’ll get back to that tone.

But, again, it’s very important to be comfortable with the content you consume and I’m not knocking anyone if they think S3 is a bit much for them right now. I can totally see how that would be the case!

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

when do you think theyll make hawkdemetri canon; in s4 or later (assuming it goes to 6 seasons)? i think the romantic aspects of their relationship will be empathized more clearly in s4 (hawk's jealousy of yasmime, their deep understanding and love for each other, etc) but they won't officially get together until the fifth season, leaving the last one to explore them figuring out how to go public and all that. or or i was thinking they do get together in s4 but due to the cobras threatening demetri or smth like that, they break up shortly after and don't get back together until the s5 or 6 finale. i feel like i'm being bold bc nothings set in stone but w what jon and hayden liked/rted im just ahhh!! so excited!!

Oh man, are we actually doing this now??? Are we actually discussing when Hawkmetri would hypothetically go canon???

EH, FUCK IT

IF SHE-RA WENT THROUGH WITH IT MAYBE IT ISN’T A MERE GAY KARATE PIPE DREAM

I personally see them making Hawk/Demetri an endgame pairing, so they wouldn’t officially get together until close to the end of the series--maybe even IN the series finale (which, as I believe I mentioned in one of my other posts, I would strongly prefer to be the kids’ senior prom, where a giant karate fight breaks out and everyone has to battle in tuxes and dresses because it would be HILARIOUSLY AWESOME). I think they might do it like She-Ra did Catradora, where they don’t confess their love and get together until the last (or close to the last) episode (Ah, She-Ra spoilers, I guess...but anyone who doesn’t know by now that Catra and Adora end up together has been living under a rock XD) but there’s LOTS of ship tease prior and maybe even a stolen kiss/hand-hold or two leading up to that moment. Either way, if they decide to go the Hawkmetri route, it definitely has Endgame Ship vibes to me, which means...good news is, we’re gonna win this bitch, and bad news is, I don’t think we’ll be seeing Hawkmetri proper anytime soon, especially if the show goes on for 6+ seasons D: But hey, we sure as hell have something to look forward to, if our hope isn’t totally misplaced!

I think most likely Demetri and Yasmine will date throughout Season 4, and I can see the writers using this to give Hawk a “green-eyed epiphany” of sorts, where he realizes he’s jealous of Yasmine in slightly more than a you’re-hanging-out-with-my-best-friend-more-than-me kind of way, and he’s just like “...oh fuck, am I gay? Shit shit SHIT” and cue Big Boi Angst! Probably by Season 5 Dem and Yaz will be broken up (because ain’t no one telling me a relationship founded on wedgies lasts more than one goddamn season), and that’s when we’ll start getting a lot more ship tease with Demetri and Hawk--subtle touches, a bit of hand-holding (but, of course, they’d find a way to do it in contexts where they can get away with it lol), “friendship teasing” that’s basically flirting, longing gazes when the other isn’t looking, getting a little TOO contact-happy when they spar--that kinda deal. Maybe at the end of Season 5, they’ll share a kiss, but they won’t want to address it or it’ll come with some complication. Like they’re both drunk, or maybe one kisses the other and then doesn’t want to talk about it afterwards because they’re too embarrassed, etc etc. And they’re both trying to figure out if everyone’s even going to be cool with them being gay anyways.

Season 6 I see as being more or less the same thing, with lots of ship tease and mutual pining and such, but it’s a bit more intense now and kinda complicated by the fact that they’re more directly aware of their affection for each other being romantic and they’re both trying to come to terms with the fact that they’re definitely probably not straight. They’re also slowly realizing they’re full-on in love with each other too, and they’re both trying to work up the courage to just ask the other to be with them. And then at the end of the season they finally do it, and then go to Karate Prom together!!! The madlads!!!

GRANTED, I’m REALLY trying not to get my own hopes up about all this, BUT the fact that one of the show creators liked someone’s tweet asking if Hawk and Demetri were gonna be the LGBT rep and another creator straight-up RETWEETING Hawk x Demetri fanart is...admittedly very promising!!! I’m really really hoping beyond hope that this ship happens!!! But Korrasami happened, Catradora happened...so anything is possible!!! It’s certainly easier to make a gay ship with semi-major characters canon than it used to be. I just hope the homophobic side of the Cobra Kai fanbase doesn’t mess this up for us by bitching about “PC” LGBT representation to the showrunners or something :/ Man...it’s honestly kind of alarming to see the amount of people who seem against shipping Hawk and Demetri solely because...they’re both guys??? Like people really be like “UGH these two guys are PLATONIC FRIENDS why must you make it GAY???” As if anyone in the history of EVER has said “UGH this guy and this girl are PLATONIC FRIENDS why must you make it STRAIGHT???” because...they’re already “defaulted” to be straight :/ Sigh...this is the depressing world we live in, I guess.

Fingers still crossed for Hawk x Demetri, though!!! Let’s make it canon through the Power of Karate!!!

Man I am on a ROLL tonight, I can’t fuckin sleep so instead I’m in my askbox shitposting about the binary boyfriends nonstop XD 3 asks in one night, babeyyyyy!

[tatyana-dreaming]

Met opera asks day 8

Thank you so much again @opera-my-beloved AND to everyone who has been answering all the asks - reading and getting to share all these memories meant so much to me and I know I’m not alone in saying that! <3

What's your favorite new opera you discovered because of the streams?

Eugene Onegin, of course! Life altering, and you could say my life became absorbed in it (including Pushkin’s original text... well I haven’t read it in Russian yet but we’re getting there). Very powerful.

Are there any stream you wish you had watched but didn't? So, so many! I only watched the operas almost every night for about two weeks, and then from there I would watch about one or two a month unless a certain themed week jumped out or I saw Operablr going wild over a particular upcoming production. Even so, I ended up seeing about 55 operas (Met exclusive) and more than that including non-Met streams, which I think is pretty impressive (I mean... without the streams I would have seen fewer than one opera a year for the foreseeable future, so that’s incredible, even though they weren’t actually live) :)

Finally, what have the Met Nightly Streams meant to you? I took a while to get to this last post because I actually wrote quite a bit on paper about it, as soon as I found out the streams were ending :’( warning: this might get long!

At first, the streams were something both exciting (novel! and not like “novel coronavirus” novel like we were getting slammed with in the news those first few weeks) and regular to look forward to and rely on, when our schedules and “normal” lives were being turned upside down. It was an anchor in that way, as well as providing much-needed escape and breaks from the news and reality of the outside world. It was something to look forward to every day during a time where many things could no longer be looked forward to (except maybe thinking very long term).

However, it wasn’t an escape from the “outside” world so much as deepening my connection with the world itself, because opera after opera, I was reminded of all aspects of our humanity - our humor, our lightness, our ingenuity (especially with all that orchestral angst and bliss :D I have such an incredible respect for the composers, singers, musicians, behind-the-scenes artists), our preciousness and our grace - and also our cruelty, rage, passions, jealousy, and pettiness (and all the consequences thereof. therein? anyways, I think you understand). At first I kept getting fed up with the plots, especially since so many feature Women Who DieTM or harmful messages about Roma people, but once I looked deeper, I better understood that anything beyond a surface-level glance at those types of plots illuminates important truths and messages that in fact (in most cases :D) don’t condone the tragedy and wrongs that occur onstage, but just as importantly, don’t shy away from portraying them when often in modern society we like to fool ourselves that we are fully rational humans that are just “better” or “smarter” or “more self-controlled than that.”

Furthermore, the music and art that was made available truly did help heal and offer solace; for me it was an active way to address, acknowledge, and allow myself to feel All the Emotions - and remember that there are far more emotions to feel and experience than my usual repertoire of anxiety, ennui, fear, and excitement. And on top of that, I started to realize that many of these works of art have been enjoyed and beloved by SO many people, all over the world, across time (in some cases, almost 400 years!!!). That really got to me, and also gave me hope: if art that can be so transforming, meaningful, and beautiful to so many people can survive wars, other pandemics, the rise and fall of nations, and other potentially destructive events in the course of humanity---well, that gives me a lot of hope.

Not to mention, I felt so much alone, thinking of how many people across centuries have turned to the same music I am now enjoying. And THEN I wandered back onto Tumblr last fall, curious to see if there was any opera content, and started a pleasantly surprising search through opera tags... and here we are today. I have experienced so much joy and love being part of this community; there’s a special type of solidarity to it... in a way it is certainly one of the places I call “home” in my life.

And it’s not like we’re going away! We’ll continue to appreciate (and of course shitpost :D) opera. And perhaps one of these days we’ll be able to see some operas live (my heart hurts for the lack of democratization and funding for art, at least where I live - let’s also keep demanding and supporting this!).

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear

Ao3,   MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Dukexiety, implied/minor Moceit (platonic or romantic)

From the power of my Art and my Shitposts comes This Fanfiction!!!

Warnings: Panic Attacks, Lots of Cursing, descriptions of gore (horror movies, it gets decently explicit so beware that), mild body horror (Remus is here and he Does Things Like That), Heavy Roman angst for a hot minute in the middle, making out (continuing my theme of remus-centric fics getting more ;3). They do some makeup and drink tea, baby. Mentions of picking one’s skin as an Anxious habit, and also ticking. Also stimming!!! nd sides 4 life bb. Also, a very brief alcohol mention (it’s soup).

Word Count: 6,553

God Fucking Fuck, Virgil was going to have a self-care day even if it killed him dead. Everybody else could do whatever overdramatic fuckery they wanted when they were topside, but he was all set down there in the Mindpalace, thank you very much.

Luckily, mercifully, thankfully, the rest of the sides all seemed keen to let Virgil have his space anyway. There wasn’t a thing stopping him from relaxing.

Well, except for himself, of course.

A thrum of condensed stress and fear tugged at Virgil’s abdomen, bubbling its way over his edges. It was equally his own and the others’, probably due to whatever conversation they were caught up in in the external world. He would not relent to the worry, nor was he summoned to help with the situation, but his body refused to stop shaking. Perched on the top of the couch, frantically clicking the buttons on a fidget cube, Virgil tried to watch the gore playing on the TV in a tired effort to calm his nerves.

Horror movies… helped. They were something for his brain to chew on for a while- their over-the-top and ridiculous plots, the obnoxious characters that almost always deserve what’s coming to them, the attention-attaining action- it was all a recipe for Distraction. But they weren’t working by that point, no matter how badly Virgil wanted them to.

And then- possibly because the universe loved to spite Virgil and Virgil specifically- a walking, talking headache flung himself into the common room about as elegantly as a wolfhound with rabies.

“Heyyyy,” Remus crowed as he sprawled himself out on the couch. Anxiety curled his legs closer under his body, unresponsive- he knew full well that any reaction would just be an invitation for trouble from the obnoxious trait. He’d remember what Logan taught them: don’t engage, just brush it all off.

Unfortunately, Remus seemed to be in a stubborn mood.

“Whatcha watching?” 

“Movie,” Virgil grumbled. 

“What movie?”

He eyed the side laying out on the couch below him, narrowing his gaze as threateningly as he could manage. He spat the words through gritted teeth and made it clear he was not having this today.

“It’s called Terrifier.”

Remus perked up at that, and oh God, if he was interested then he’d never go the fuck away.

“What’s it about?”

There wasn’t much Virgil could do but answer in as clipped a tone as he could; things hadn’t gotten too bad, too uncomfortable, yet. Maybe he could redirect Remus’ attention, if he was just boring and unresponsive enough?

“Just a cliche creepy clown flick. Not much to it.”

“Is it gory?” 

Virgil made a vaguely affirmative sound in his throat, gesturing to the screen. In truth, the movie’s impeccable special effects with gore was its main appeal, as the acting and plot was kinda atrocious. Violence was the exact reason he’d chosen to watch this. But he knew saying that wouldn’t help his chances of shaking off Intrusive Thoughts.

Remus looked ready to spout off something explicit, but he went dead quiet as his eyes fell on the scene on the television. Virgil was grateful for small mercies.

It was exactly the kind of thing that the creative trait would watch, after all; a woman getting sawed in half, lengthwise, starting from the- er, the wrong end. Under circumstances of a more typical anxious flare-up, the scene really could have been one of those ‘helpful distractions’. 

These were not normal circumstances.Yeah, this was one of those ‘too passive’ cases, but Virgil didn’t exactly have the energy for anything ‘active’. So, he stubbornly glared at the TV and pretended that his solution was working, because he had no idea what else to do. Perfect plan.

Preoccupied as he was with his internal issues, he very nearly managed to forget about Remus. Until-

“Holy fuck, this is gorgeous, you watch stuff like this?!” The Duke’s eyes were bright, but not with his usual hysteria. They were wide with genuine excitement, shiny and happy. It was- uncanny, that’s probably the word Virgil was looking for. He curled closer in on himself.

“Shouldn’t be that surprising, dude. ‘Scary’ is kind of my thing.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen this one,” the creative side was once again completely enamored by the television screen, “Don’t blood and guts and cool things like that freak you out? They always seem to do the trick when I try to mess with you!” 

“It’s different. The violence in movies, it- it calms me down, I guess. Cause it’s like, I don’t know, detached from reality?”

There was a pause that had Virgil hoping, naively, that Remus had grown bored at his spiel. But he wasn’t moving, he was just staring, gaze switching contemplatively from the screen to Virgil a few times over.

“It doesn’t look like that. If you were any more tense, all your tendons would be snapping like badly-tuned violin strings!” 

“Yeah, no shit,” Virgil pressed his back against the wall and shut his eyes tight. He could still hear- no, feel- Patton and Roman and Thomas arguing, snapping at each other back and forth as the situation escalated.

“Is this about whatever the others are doing? Why don’t you just stop listening to their shitty arguments?”

A harsh laugh escaped Virgil at that, dragging him back down to earth so he could blink his eyes open, glaring at the facet lying beneath him. 

“I can’t just stop, that’s not how I work. I need to keep an ear on them. Who knows what could happen if I didn’t?”

“Well, why don’t you just go talk to them?”

If he wasn’t already frustrated beyond belief, that would’ve fuckin’ done it for him.

“I don’t think I’d be much help. Not right now.”

“Why not?” Remus looked halfway between genuinely curious and mischievous, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Anxiety.

“Seriously? Things aren’t exactly, like- normal between all of us.”

“What is normal?” 

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came through. As much as it sounded like an offhanded, edgy 13-year-old atheist kind of remark, it was a decent point. Virgil had thought that there was something of a status quo forming between himself and the ‘light sides’, but how long had that even lasted for? Especially compared to the rest of his life? Everything was changing all the time. Was there anything to rely on, or was it just Virgil’s own wishful thinking for what their lives could be? After all, even in ‘peaceful times’, there had been plenty of in-fighting and disagreements and horrible uncomfortable conversations and harsh words and-

“Oh, shut that brain up,” Remus’ sharp voice pulled Virgil from his thoughts, “I know what you meant ‘normal’. You meant the six months when you got to forget about us Scary Monsters, and, DUH! It was probably way simpler for all you diet-soda-no-sugar sluts back then, but that doesn’t mean it was better.”

“Yeah, you would think that things are better now, wouldn’t you?”

Remus fixed Virgil with an unsettling sort of grimace, making the other squirm. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so by any means. 

“I dunno, but what I do know is that things are getting better. They’ll be the best they could be, soon.”

Despite himself, Virgil laughed. It was a faltering, anxious sound, revealing the true fear behind the taunting gesture.

“Really? With everybody at each other’s throats all the time?”

“While that does sound fun,” Remus sat up fully, twisting around to look directly up at Virgil, “I mean after that. After we’re all accepted. It’s inevitable- Inevitable, Anxious Lil’ Barista,” Remus accompanied the referential nickname with a wink. 

Virgil stared at him like he was crazy (well- like- crazier than usual, he guessed?). Remus just threw his head back and laughed before spinning his neck one-hundred and eighty degrees to face the TV while he explained.

“Point is, it’s painfully obvious that everything will sort itself out. It has to, or else the only other option is that Thomas is gonna drive himself insane by trying to suppress parts of himself and end up clawing his own brain out. One of those two things!”

While colorfully phrased, the certainty with which Remus delivered his point had Virgil taken aback. There was no way that Remus could possibly know that, but- in a backwards way it was comforting, how sure he sounded. He didn’t lie, not ever.

Virgil had never thought that Remus would settle for anything less than going out of his way to make others’ lives a hell. But maybe that antagonism wasn’t what exactly motivated the trait’s actions. Maybe it was just an unintentional side effect, akin to what Logan had said when Remus first revealed himself.

The moment of reprieve was over as soon as it began.

“Fuck! He just cut off her tits and wore ‘em, huh?” 

Virgil looked up and, to be fair, that was exactly what had happened on screen. Like he said, this movie wasn’t exactly poetic cinema, but it certainly was something. 

He scooted along the top of the couch, moving just a few feet before dropping down to sit properly beside Remus.

“3/10 drag look at best, really,” Virgil muttered, mostly to himself. He jumped when Remus shrieked with laughter at it, looking absolutely delighted. 

“I didn’t know you made jokes like that, VeeVee!”

Virgil shrugged noncommittally, focusing on the screen and not the facet beside him. Remus’ giggling was loud and distracting, but it wasn’t… unpleasant, unlike his typical villain-cackle was. 

Once Remus had settled down (as much as somebody like him could, anyway), he, too, focused on watching. The quiet was uncomfortable, but it didn’t stretch on for long. There was always something in the movie that The Duke felt the need to comment upon extensively, elaborating and giving details on the gore. Virgil found himself listening to the rants silently, almost enjoying the disruption. It certainly gave his overactive mind something to play around with.

“-skin doesn’t slice as easy as that, trust me-”

Aaaand there it was. Virgil winced, trying very hard not to show that the words had struck a nerve. He liked horror, gore, all that, sure, but there were just some specific things- squicks, you could call them. Remus would obviously use that to his advantage, so the only option was to try very hard to zone out and not look like he was disturbed.

“But even then- Hey, why are you making that face?”

Mission failed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Remus shifted closer- invasively closer, his gaze studying. 

“You were calming down earlier, what's with the scrunch-nose?”

Virgil stared at his hands, chipping away his black nail polish. Remus was nearly as good at reading lies as Janus, and twice as hard to get rid of.

“It's just- skin, slicing, that stuff just-” he ticked, head spasming sideways briefly at even the thought of that kind of pain.

“Oh,” Remus said plainly, not even a hint of malice or mischief in his tone as he leaned back into his own spot, “Why didn't you just say so? Well, that last exploding head kill is way more interesting anyway, did you see that?”

That was… it? No taunting, no tormenting, he just changed the topic, like that? 

Remus, continuing to be weirdly perceptive, scoffed as though he was reading Virgil’s mind.

“What? Just because I like screwing with you prudes sometimes doesn't mean I want to give you a panic attack. Where's the fun in that?”

Anxiety nodded mutely, bewildered. Remus seemed appeased by that and quickly resumed his running commentary.

And if Virgil eventually decided to take part in the discussion, well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. Just some polite conversation about bodily mutilation.

 The television darkened as the screen was washed by credits, filling the space where the disfigured face of the main character had been mere moments prior, the result of a pretty predictable twist ending. Virgil stood, arching his back up in a stretch. His arms raised higher, one joint or another crackling at the motion. Fuck, he was sore. How long had he been sitting still?

Remus hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He tapped his claws along the remote, exiting to the homescreen and looking expectantly at Virgil.

“You don't wanna watch anything else?” He asked abruptly, drawing a confused glance from his companion, “This is fun- and they're still arguing up there, so it kinda makes sense to stay, it’s really the best solution if you-”

Virgil huffed a laugh at the rambling. It sounded like some shit he’d say, for crying out loud.

“Dude, chill, I was just gonna make some tea before putting on another movie,” the clear relief that ran across Remus' face- quickly replaced by a wide grin- wasn't anything shy of… sweet. Virgil was sure this day couldn't get any fucking weirder, if he was finding anything endearing about the walking talking dirty joke before him. “Uh, you want anything? Since you're gonna stick around, and all.”

Remus jumped up, following Virgil into the MindPalace’s small kitchen happily. In one smooth motion, he swung up onto the counter and slid down it, seating himself almost on top of the stove.

“No hot leaf soup for me, thanks, but I will take one of those mugs!”

Virgil raised a brow, staring the creative trait down before shrugging. He passed him one of the mugs, a generic and patternless one- so that the other sides probably wouldn't notice its absence. He busied himself by setting up the kettle, trying not to wince at the loud wet crunch that resulted when Remus took a bite of his snack.

“Hey,” Remus said around a mouthful of ceramic chunks, “I know just the movie we should watch next.”

Virgil shifted around the various tea boxes littering the cabinets, searching for something with a kick. He hazarded a glance to Remus, immediately regretting the decision when he saw the blood dribbling down his chin from the cuts marring his lips. Anxiety cringed, turning his head back and grabbing for the first brightly-colored box he saw. It took him a moment to respond.

“Okay… what is it?” 

“It's awful- I mean, really, the acting is unbearable and it’s fucking insane- but it's funny. You like making fun of stuff, right? It's like that, but there's still a ton of agonizing death, which is always a fun bonus.”

“What's it about?” Virgil was hesitantly intrigued, his gaze flicking up from the steadily heating kettle. He wasn't exactly keen on staring down the gory scene of Remus’ mouth, so he settled his focus on the trait’s eyeball brooch. 

“Uhn-uhn! No spoilers, this is one you have to see for yourself. It's funnier that way.”

Virgil made a noncommittal sound, tapping his nails against the counters.

“Nothing too bad happens- not that you can't handle, anyway. No slicing and not many jumpscares.”

He resisted the urge to snap 'how do you know what I can’t handle?' because Remus actively trying to reassure him was. Something. Something that he appreciated, maybe, a little.

“Okay, fine. I didn't have anything else in mind. A ‘So-Bad-It’s-Good’ thing sounds alright.”

The obnoxious gnawing of Remus destroying what was left of his cup suddenly ceased, replaced by a stunned silence. Virgil finally met his eyes (finding that the lacerations around Remus’ mouth were already healing themselves, as if they'd never existed).

“You’re taking my suggestion?”

Virgil cleared his throat, finding himself unable to break the intense eye-contact now that it had been established.

“It's not a big deal or anything, man. Just a movie.” 

Remus nodded enthusiastically, a grin splitting his face ear-to-ear. Very literally. The expression was so unnatural and cartoonish on a human(ish) face, that Virgil couldn't help but be startled into laughter. Remus looked even more delighted at that reaction, leaning forward over the stove. At that point, Virgil very much couldn't suppress the noises, snorts bubbling up from his throat against his will.

“You look-” another bout of chuckling, “-you look ridiculous, Remus.”

“Aw, thank you! I was going for manic, but I'll settle for that, too.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, hunching in on himself to get his breathing back to normal. 

With no warning, Remus lifted himself up onto his knees and craned his body around the vigilant trait, snatching the kettle from the stove and flipping the dial to ‘off’. Instinctively, Anxiety recoiled from the proximity. The tension fell away when he saw that the other was simply pouring the hot water into Virgil’s mug for him.

“Dude, it wasn't whistling yet?”

“I know; it was hissing like it was about to start. You're boring and don't like loud noises, especially when you’re all on edge like this, so,” he set the kettle back down, passing the warm mug to Virgil. 

Virgil stared at him, then at the drink in his hand, then back up at the Duke. He was, for what felt like the millionth time that day, unsure of how to react.

He… really hadn't thought that Remus would pick up on stuff like that. He should probably start getting used to that, maybe.

“I'm-” Virgil dragged his finger up and down the handle of his mug, “I'm not that on edge anymore, actually.”

The look that Remus sent him was indecipherable. 

“C’mon, I’ll queue up that flick I told you about.”

“Yeah,” Virgil let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even known he'd been holding, “Yeah, okay.”

 The floor was bubbling, popping, blistering with red fury. It was lava, sending bright flaming sparks in all directions. Thankfully for Remus and Virgil, sitting close together on the couch and viciously mocking cabin fever, the vicious rage was exclusive to one small circle near the staircase.

Virgil, who had been happily tearing apart the leading guy’s acting, cut himself off abruptly.

“Shit- wait- shit.”

Remus shook himself out of his raucous laughter, looking up in confusion. His eyes finally settled on the crimson patch of carpet, a look of realization crossing them. His voice turned much quieter than what fit him.

“Oh, fuck.”

It was like a volcanic eruption localized entirely within the living room, fire blazing in a tall column. From the emotional display, Roman rose up, face nearly as red as his method of transportation. 

There was that brief moment, right when a stressful situation appeared, of antithetical serenity. Virgil felt his muscles slacken in shock, his long-empty mug falling from his hands and landing on the carpet with a dull thud. A rush of calmness hollowed out his chest, lingering for just a few seconds before being replaced by panic. Tension returned to his limbs mere moments after that, like it was pulling him taut.

Roman wasn't even looking at them- in fact, he hadn't seemed to notice his brother or best friend at all. The fire fell back down, leaving a charred patch of carpet that would likely take a long time to repair itself. The passionate trait growled, a sound that bordered on a scream as he clawed his hands down his face. He stamped his boot sharply against the ground, igniting another small fire with the impact.

“Fuck!” He cried, ever oblivious to his audience. With a hasty wave, the flames flickered and disappeared. Roman glared down at the blackened spot where it had been, winding his arms tightly around himself. He took a few shaky breaths, but if anything he only looked worse off for it.

“Fuck,” this time spoken quieter, but with no less vitriol. An immaculately-manicured hand raised itself to cover his mouth, tightening around his face desperately as tears slipped from his eyes down his fingers. He turned on his heel and took the stairs two at a time.

In his wake, as the television had been paused, the only thing that Virgil could hear was buzzing in his skull.

What had happened? What was happening, currently?! Things had gone so wrong and it was all because of Virgil’s negligence- what bad things could have been prevented if he had just been there? Or- or even just listening in! When had he even stopped listening? He was supposed to protect them but he just gave up, just because he ‘couldn't handle it’, and now something was Wrong with Roman and he couldn't even focus on listening to them all now, not like this. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t hear or see anything at all.

A rough, calloused hand wrapped around his wrist. Virgil's shallow breath staggered even more at the feeling, the warbly noise of speech failing to meet his ears. His eyes were closed tight, he realized, stinging with emotion behind his eyelids.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Four seconds, four strikingly gentle presses against the vein of Virgil’s wrist. If it weren't for the slight edge of a claw, he could've confused the motion for one of Patton’s.

The four taps were followed by a brief pause, then a steady round of seven taps. Another pause, and then eight. As Virgil focused, as much as he could anyway, on the presses, the screaming of his mind very gradually abated. First, he pried his eyes open, staring down at the hand around his arm. Watching the tapping, feeling it, was grounding enough for his hearing to return in time. Virgil could hear Remus beside him, breathing deeply as a guide, and copying the exercise became that much easier. In for four, hold  for seven, out for eight. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Remus didn't stop when Virgil did it properly one time over, when he was still shaking and teary. He didn't speak up even when the well behind Anxiety's eyes ran dry, after what had to be a dozen rounds of even breaths. It was only when Virgil finally, hesitantly slipped his wrist out of the other's grasp on his own terms that Remus made any sounds.

“Do you remember when you taught me to do makeup? Late teens, early twenties, around then?”

Talk about a topic shift. Virgil glanced up in confusion.

“I guess so? Wasn't that, like, the only time that we hung out and actually got along?” They’d never exactly been close, Virgil had made sure of that. It was, in retrospect, a regrettable decision on his part.

“Yeah. I was so bad at it, remember?”

“Hell yes, I remember,” Virgil felt a tiny smirk tug his lips at the memory, “You literally never sat still. You were and are the most impatient person I've ever met.”

“I’ve gotten a lot better, Vee.”

Virgil glanced at the bruise-like eyeshadow circling the Duke's eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Knowing him (kind of knowing him? Starting to know him better now? Whatever.) it was most definitely intentionally off-putting, and probably not a good way to judge his actual ability.

“But I’ve seen how you do it, when you really, really try; I think you're still better than me with it, ju-u-ust barely.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he couldn't find the soft excitement in Remus’ eyes anything other than enticing. The creative side laughed, flapping his hand.

“It would be fun if you did it for me again! Just like old times, ey?”

Virgil stared at him, considering him carefully.

“You want me to do your makeup?” 

“Yes!” Remus leaned forward with his confirmation, but for once that didn't involve violating Virgil’s post-panic attack bubble, “It'll give you something to do with your hands other than peeling back all your skin, at the very least.”

Oh, right. Virgil not-so-subtly lifted his nails from his palms, wincing at the irritated red spots coloring his hands.

Truth be told, the idea wasn't… unappealing. It was an activity well between mindless and active, repetitive and artistic. Plus, he didn't exactly love being alone after attacks, and if anything Remus would be lively company. Company that he sort of, maybe, possibly was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with anyway, unfortunate events notwithstanding.

“Yeah, alright, if you're sure you want-”

“Great! Wait right there, bee-arh-bee,” before the words were even fully out of his mouth, Remus went limp and fell sideways off of the couch, falling right through the floor. 

In his absence, there was a void where his noise had been. Virgil stared at the paused movie scene, picking apart the little details of the frame just to have something to do. His mind drifted off to the state that Roman had been in when he entered. The sight of his friend so furious burned itself on the backs of Virgil’s eyelids. He knew that the anxiety wasn't all his own, either; he could feel it like waves from the other side of the MindPalace, the origin point clearly belonging to Roman.

He should check on him, shouldn't he? Or would that make it worse? Virgil certainly didn't feel like he was in any state to help. But then there was Patton to consider- something must have happened up there. Should he look for him, too?

There was a whoosh.

“I leave you alone for five seconds and you get right back to thinking!” Remus strode across the room, flopping right back onto the couch. Held in his arms was an enormous multi-pocketed bag, items clattering around within at every jostle their owner made.

“Overthinking is literally my whole job, man, this shouldn't surprise you,” Virgil shrugged, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

Remus simply rolled his eyes and dropped the makeup case onto Virgil's lap, sitting criss-cross parallel to him, their knees brushing slightly.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, scanning Remus' face, but all the other did was smile and blink (one eye at a time). 

Virgil zipped open the bag, rifling through and finding an overwhelming array of gaudy colors and odd products.

“Was there, like, a 'look' that you want to go for?”

Remus shrugged.

“Just go for it! I’m a blank canvas. The worse, the better.”

Virgil chuckled, picking out a few items to fit a theme he was coming up with and getting right to work.

Though it had been years since they’d last spent time together, it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt more comfortable than it had back then.

Remus managed to sit almost perfectly still, chattering the entire time that Virgil worked. Yet again his voice served as something like white-noise, wherein Anxiety only had to contribute whenever he chose. Remus only quieted when Virgil had to hold his face, tipping his head back to properly apply inky-black lipstick. And then, he remained silent for a moment, as they surveyed each other. 

Virgil had cleared his throat, warmth prickling at his ears, and the ceaseless rambling resumed after that.

In what felt like hours and no time at all, Virgil was finally satisfied with his work.

“Alright, you're all done,” he capped the bottle of mascara in his hand, rifling through Remus' bag for a mirror, “Wanna see?” 

Just as he felt the unmistakable cool surface of glass on his fingertips, Remus grabbed his wrist in both hands. 

“What-?”

“Not so fast! Now it's my turn,” he announced, his zealous eyes even more prominent on his face thanks to the thick wings of eyeliner around them. 

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Virgil looked from the assortment of garish colors that he'd mostly stayed away from in the makeup case, and then back up at the Duke.

“Usually: yes. But I am dead serious right now, Vee.”

Remus looked pleading, legitimately pouting. 

Virgil huffed. The side had gone out of his way to help him, when he really didn't have to, so…

“You're not going to just use this as an excuse to draw all over my face, are you?”

“I mean, no promises that I'll be able to restrain myself, but! Gimme a chance anyway, I can make you even hotter than you already are! Plus, we'll match then.”

“... Fine. Just- nothing too crazy, alright?”

“Again, no promises.”

Virgil groaned, but he still passed the bag to Remus.

 “Holy shit...”

Remus leaned over the basin of the bathroom sink, drumming his hands on the counter excitedly. He was starry-eyed as he observed the dark, dramatic colors covering his face: metallic emerald-green eyeshadow, excessively long lashes, and winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut a bitch. His lips were black as void, but shimmered like glitter. Everything about the look was dangerous, confrontational, and grim. 

“This is more out there than I’d usually wear, but. Yeah, holy shit.”

Virgil's expression, despite his best efforts, was equally awed as he peered into the mirror. The color around his eyes was mismatched; a lime to moss green gradient over his purple eye, lavender to royal violet over his green one- both colors contrasted by smudged black eyeliner under his eye. His signature Racoon Look had been maintained in that aspect, but it was even more exaggerated. In addition to that, Remus had taken to drawing various little symbols along Virgil's cheekbones, including things like upside-down crosses. Finally, there was the fuchsia lip-gloss, stark against Virgil’s paler-than-normal foundation. 

“It’s okay, I guess,” Virgil breathed reverently. 

“I love it!” Remus crowed, clambering onto the counter just to get a better look at himself. Somehow, he'd already managed to smudge the hell out of his eyeshadow, but it kinda… worked for him, if Virgil was being honest.

“Vee, we have got to do this more often!”

Virgil looked from his reflection to Remus', startled in a way he didn't entirely understand. The intrusive facet met his gaze through the mirror, the smile sliding off his face when Virgil didn’t respond to him.

“Right, Raggedy-Anx? It doesn't have to be this, specifically, if you really don't want to. We could just watch movies together, that's fine. Or we could do anything at all! Right?”

Virgil was still silent, lost in his mind. Remus fell from a kneeling position to sitting with his legs hanging off the counter, turning his back to the mirror.

“Was this a one-time thing? That's alright, too, if you just needed help calming down. I'm not as good as the others, I know, but if they're ever too busy again, you'll think of me when you need help, at least. Right?”

Finally, Virgil snapped out of his daze when he heard the panicked edge to Remus’ voice, feeling his anxiety as Virgil noticed the wild look that had completely erased his giddiness. It was a look that Virgil had seen plenty of times before, when Remus had been ignored far too long and was right about to start ripping things to shreds for some scraps of attention. Only then did Virgil fully recognize what the expression actually meant; the deep, terrified need that swirled behind the look, unsure of how to ask for what it really wanted after so many denials of that very want. 

“Shit, sorry,” Virgil moved to stand in front of him, eye-level to Remus even though he was elevated by the counter, “Hey, it's alright, Re, everything's fine.”

Remus was still trying very determinedly to smile.

“I know! Hell, I’m not the anxious one, I'm the one that makes people anxious,” his laugh sounded like it came from a throat full of broken glass, “I just- I liked this, ya know?”

“I know,” Virgil leaned forward, coaxing Remus' arms away from where he'd wrapped them around himself, “I like this, too.”

Remus let Virgil hold onto him, surprised into something like obedience.

“You? What?”

“I like this,” it wasn't as though Virgil was expecting to hug Remus, but it seemed to have happened on its own as they moved. It was leagues nicer than he could have imagined, despite the smell. “I like you…-r company.”

“That's weird,” Remus' legs curled around Virgil’s waist. Virgil rested his hands on Remus’ hips. He listened as the creative trait's breathing evened out, vaguely aware that the situation was similar to the one just an hour or so before. Except, the roles had been reversed, of course.

“I missed you. I know I never told you, but I missed you.”

Virgil felt guilt, hot and molten, dripping down his throat. He couldn't lie; he hadn't missed Remus when he left. But now he did, in a roundabout sort of way. He missed what could have been, all of the possible understanding and friendship and likely more that he could have had for so long with Remus- all of which he'd let slip by for years. Due to just writing the artist off as disgusting, or unnecessary. 

And perhaps some of that misunderstanding was Remus' fault as well, but Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to hold it against him.

“You don't have to anymore. Miss me, I mean. I'm- fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“Me too,” Remus said, pulling back to settle Virgil with a happy-yet-tearfilled gaze.

“Aw, hey,” he tightened his grip at Remus' hips, smirking, “You're gonna fuck up all my hard work on that eyeliner, Re.”

Remus laughed, loud and shrieky and him, smiling unnaturally and brilliantly wide once again. Virgil's breath caught in his throat- not for the first time that day, he found himself trapped up in that wild, energetic face.

Before Virgil was entirely aware of what he was doing, he was leaning forward, pulling Remus in by the waist. When the cackling finally stopped short, so did he, both much too far and far too close to the Duke. 

He didn't have the chance to explain himself, or apologize, or anything, because soon enough understanding flashed in Remus' eyes.

“Oh, oh yes, oh hell fucking yes.” 

Remus didn’t wait a second longer before closing the distance and smashing his lips against Virgil’s. A startled sound bubbled up in his throat, dying quickly as he acclimated to what was happening. Just as he did, he was reciprocating the kiss. 

Their teeth clashed together uncomfortably, and Virgil was hyper-aware of the threat both his own and Remus’ fangs posed if they weren’t careful, making it far from the perfect first kiss. But he wouldn’t have wanted that anyway, nor would he have expected it. It was, somehow, better. 

Remus' hand dragged down Virgil's back, his fingers fitting onto the notches of the facet’s spine. Virgil shivered, pressing himself flush against the counter (and Remus) and digging his thumbs into the trait’s hips. The motion earned him a beautiful whine from the other as the kiss deepened, growing less awkward and more heated by the second.

Virgil was unaware of how much time was passing, but when they finally parted, both were short of breath and significantly disheveled. Remus had his back pressed up against the mirror, his hair even fuzzier than its usual state, expression dazed and face flushed. From what Virgil could make out in his own reflection, he wasn't much better off. 

Just as soon as they'd separated, Remus' hand was on his face, his thumb dragging just under Anxiety's lip.

“You fucked up your lipstick,” he teased.

“So did you,” Virgil answered with a smirk, leaning into the touch. 

“I guess we'll have to fix it later.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Remus wriggled himself out of his pinned position, twisting around Virgil. He managed to situate himself and drop down from the bathroom counter, his manner suggestive, “Because all I wanna do right now is finish watching Cabin Fever with my new goth boyfriend and makeout during the boring parts.”

“Boyfriend?” Virgil ignored the jolt of warmth he felt at that, determined to stay nonchalant as he (subtly (not subtly)) slipped his hand into Remus’.

“You disagree?” 

Virgil pretended to think it over, leading them to the door and taking his time to click it open. 

“Nah, I don’t disagree,” he said finally, “I think I like the sound of that, actuall- yyyy.”

Virgil stopped short in the open doorway, voice dragging out in his shock. Behind him, he could feel Remus trying to crane around him to see what was happening, but Virgil didn’t move to accommodate him. Well, more accurately, he felt like he couldn’t really move at all, too busy parsing out the scene in front of him.

In the corner of the sectional- sharing a cushion- Janus and Patton sat, the former holding aloft a glass of wine, the latter snacking on a muffin. They sat with their legs tangled together, and had seemed to be engrossed with each other before the interruption. Both had paused mid-conversation to gawk in Virgil's direction, twin deer-in-headlights expressions on their faces. 

“What-” Virgil began, bewildered.

“The fuck?” Remus finished, pushing his way out of the bathroom.

Janus struggled to sit up into a more dignified position and take the reigns of the conversation. It didn't take him long to overcome his surprise at the interruption, his surveying gaze sweeping over the other two Dark Sides contemplatively. The look made Virgil’s skin crawl. 

“You know, we- well, we could ask you two-” he gestured at their interlocked hands, “-just the same question, couldn't we?” 

For a moment, there was silence. Virgil looked from Patton to Janus. Janus looked from Virgil to Remus. Patton looked at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Remus looked at everyone and broke the silence.

“You didn't see us,” he announced, sidestepping his way to the staircase and dragging Virgil along with him, “And we didn't see you.” 

Janus squinted, tipped his head, and nodded conspiratorially. 

“Deal.”

With that little grant, Virgil and Remus darted up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the dimly lit hallway as quickly as they could. Luckily for them, Roman was probably either in a deep depression sleep or far into the imagination by now, and Logan Did Not Engage with Interpersonal Drama if he could help it. 

There was a second for appreciating the absurdity of the situation (and catching their breath), before either spoke to each other.

“I’ve got a huge flat screen,” Remus piped up at last, jerking his thumb in the direction of his room. 

“Any of us can conjure literally anything we want at any time, so I'm not sure what's impressive about that.”

Remus scowled, albeit playfully.

“Hush! Come watch someone slowly be consumed by a parasite with me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and let Remus drag him off, his complaints accompanied by absolutely no efforts to avoid the situation. 

Things were weird, there was no denying that. Maybe they'd end up being that way for a while yet, and Virgil knew he had a lot of news to catch up on, but he found that thoughts like that were way back in his mind. Whatever happened, he reasoned, he would still have this comfort. The arms of someone he was finally coming to know wrapped tight around him, playing up his back, a mouth trailing kisses on his neck as he half-watched horror films. Yes, things would be difficult with the others, but it was secondary.

There was someone on his side now. Solidly, unarguably there for him. With him. And that made it all feel a little bit easier.

[dansedan]

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DISCO ELYSIUM COMMUNITY HERE IS MY BOLERO/LATIN POP HARRY DU BOIS PLAYLIST FUCK YOU PAY ME 

(liner notes and English lyric translations under the cut, listen-along with the playlist!)

(warning, LONG LONG post)

BOLERO ELYSIUM:

1.       No Soy Nada- Harry mourning over Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

My love, how I would like to have you with me

Turn back the clock and feel your heartbeat again

My love, how I wish not to be alive for today

And that you can be born again, walk your way

 [Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

 [Verse 2]

My love, I never meant to be bad, I swear

And as much as I tried and improved, it is not enough for me

 [Chorus]

And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face

For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow

And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined

It is not me that you should love because I am nothing

 It’s a good, simple angst chanson. Very accurate for a drunk idiot mourning over a relationship and self-flagellating.

 2. Te Fuiste a Tiempo- battle-tested relationshit/partner-divorce

Translated lyrics:

[INTRO]

You could’ve killed me like this,

So cruel and merciless

 [Verse 1]

You left on time

Because you were starting to be a necessity

How lucky was I

When fate gave me my freedom

 You left on time

Because I was beginning to understand that you were a disguise

And with the cynicism of a mirage

You asked for one more kiss

 [Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

 [Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruel and slow (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left on time

 (The ra ra ra ra ...)

 [Chorus]

I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair

Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground

I gave you my wings when I was just taking off

I gave you everything and even neglected myself

 [Post-chorus]

You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)

So cruelly and slowly (Ah, ah, ah)

But it was better ...

You left o-o-o-on time

 From the point of view of both of them!!! fucking insane dudes. It’s an April fools playlist of boleros so I am not going to pretend to have nuance here they are pining cheesily. Jean and “I gave you my wings when I was just taking off/I gave you everything and even neglected myself” makes me see red. Plus the idea of Very Soppily switching Jean’s attempts at having Harry… Not Do What He’s About To Do as “one last kiss” is. Soppy and amazing ok shut up.

 4.       El Último Trago- the bender of apocaliptic proportions

Translated lyrics:

Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave

I want to see what forgetting you tastes like

Without putting your hands over my eyes

 Tonight I'm not going to beg you

Tonight you're really going to go;

How hard it is to have to leave you

Without feeling that you no longer love me

 The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

 Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink, kiss me

Let’s hope there are no witnesses

Just in case you were embarrassed

 If one day we accidentally meet again

Do not bend down or speak to me directly;

Let us simply shake hands

And let the people murmur after

 The years have taught me nothing

I always make the same mistakes

Yet again toasting with strangers

And crying over the same pains

 Drink this bottle with me

And after the last drink we’ll leave...

 It’s the LAST DRINK hah see what I did there but also it’s a song about the foibles of drunkenness and drunken romantics so it’s very apt for harry trying to drown his Dora-related sorrows in alcohol. Poor mans. Also Dolores does just mean “pains” in here but. Dolores…

5.       No Soy de Aquí Ni Soy de Allá- Amnesia (hah, get it. Geddit. Yes this is mostly here because of the name but LOOK THERE’S MORE)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

I like wine as much as flowers

And rabbits, but not tractors

And homemade bread and the voice of Dolores

And the sea wetting my feet.

 [Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

 [Verse 2]

I like to always be lying in the sand

To chase Manuela on my steed

For all the time, to see the stars

With Mary in the wheat field

 [Chorus]

I am not from here, neither from there

I have no age nor future

And being happy is the color of my identity

 [Verse 3]

I like the sun, Alice and the doves

good cigars and bad ladies

Jumping walls and opening windows

And when a woman cries

 Okay so hear me out: the stupid boiadero rugged macho man listing shit he likes to seem cool? So good for early amnesia Harry. This has Raphael Ambrosius Costeau written all over it. The mild mysoginy is only the cherry on top but all the random-ass nonsense lines that are just there to sound cool is perfect for Harry just. Saying shit and seeing if it sticks. Also the song bops so it’s here. Also like… “bad ladies” = klaasje thirst, “Jumping walls and opening windows” = the jamrock shuffle, “I like wine as much as flowers” = commodore red, forget-me-nots, “the sea wetting my feet”= Martinaise… ey? Ey? Ey?? Am I saying Jorge cafurne predicted disco Elysium? I don’t know but I’m sure saying SOMETHING. Also this would be a great ARB karaoke song.

 6.       Diez pasos hacia tí- getting to know Kim

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Life left us crossed

In a very casual way

You came like the sun

Stealing my shadow gradually

 Any leak of light

Everything was a sign

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts over me

And the fear, naturally.

 [Chorus]

You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

 Any leak of light

Served as a signal

Ten steps towards you

A thousand doubts about me

And the natural fear

 You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To embrace your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 You made me shake like that (You made me shake like that)

Like the moon over the water

And then I let go (And then I let go)

To swim in your gaze

And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)

But it was in a kiss that I met you

 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you

Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh

 Okay so clearly they don’t kiss YET but. We’re keeping on the theme of being very very cheesy and romantic because this is a shitpost playlist so here is a song with some vibes of slowly allowing yourself to trust someone who takes a bit of darkness from your life. “any leak of light”, “you arrived like the sun”, sunrise parabellum… also I love Harry being weak for Kim so “you made me tremble like that” is just. Yes thank you.

 7.       Soy un Corpóreo y Dentro de Mí Hay una Actriz Recién Titulada Llorando -superstar cop

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

 [Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

 [Verse 1]

The show must go on

Experts indicate that it is the best

Two out of three recommend it

For your daily use

 [Chorus]

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

I am a corporeal and within me

There's a newly graduated actress crying

 [Post-Chorus]

And in the official photos

I appear smiling with the children of the place

And in the promo clips

The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard

 [Verse 2]

I have no other life than the one that sweats inside of me

And I don't want it to go, and I don't want it to go

It is that I have no other life than the one that cries inside me

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

 [Outro]

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing

 OK SO THIS ONE IS HEAVY but for both the tentatively-affectionately-titled “terminal cop brain” that Harry (and Kim and Jean) suffer as well as a touch of his internal struggle with his own self-hate and depression AND Dora shit it is here. Superstar cop just needs to buckle up his disco belt and bring down the law (no he doesn’t he needs a lot of real actual help but uh. Okay harrier.)

 8.       Lo Mal que Estoy y Lo Poco que me Quejo- the jamrock shuffle around Martinaise

Translated lyrics:

[Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

 [Verse 1]

I always get up with my foot looking at the ground

The mute voice greets me from afar

He gives me his silence but I play the idiot

Looking in the mirror

 [Verse 2]

And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine

I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself

I self-diagnose without even minimal success

And so I get depressed

 [Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

 [Verse 3]

I go out to the sidewalks, my walking out of tune

My suitcase full of boulders

My smile upside-down from climbing so many stairs

Without getting anywhere

 [Verse 4]

And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving

And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’

A brick doesn’t know how to cry

But it doesn’t follow a beat well either

 [Chorus]

How bad I am and how little I complain

How bad I am and how little I complain

I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken

What pain, what pity and what torment

 [Bridge]

And how my whole life hurts

And the doctor has told me

That calls into question the truest truth

That I'm late to the niche

And that to each new pain I look for a placebo

 [Outro]

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

My donkey, my donkey's love hurts

Because nobody loves him, only me

And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most

My heart is full of patches

Chin pon!

 Is this not the most perfect song for the absolute insanity of mr. Du Bois? First, the catchy fucking tempo, let us enjoy how splendidly jaunty it is. Amazing. Then, all the stuff about the mirror, ESPECIALLY “And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine/ I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself”. Also the line “And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving/And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’” feels so much like an argument between Harry and skills over Dora shit… this song is also just a bop.

 9.       Algo Contigo- falling in love with Kim (which is a canonical event fuck you)

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need to control your life

To know who kisses you and who shelters you

 [Verse 2]

Do I need to tell you

That I am dying to have something with you?

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer continue spying

Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive

I don't even know with what innocent excuse to pass by your house, oh-oh

I have so few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want to die without having something with you

 [Verse 3]

Do I need to tell you

That I'm dying to have something with you, oh

Have you not noticed

How much it costs me to be your friend?

I can no longer get close to your mouth

Without desiring you in a crazy way

I need, baby, to control your life

Know who kisses you and who shelters you

I have very few roads left

And although it may seem like a folly to you

I would not want die without having something with you

 [Outro]

(Something with you, something with you)

baby, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

There is no excuse, there is nothing I have to lose

(Something with you)

Like a slave (Something with you)

A slave forever, I wouldn't mind being

(Something with you)

Eternally slave (Something with you)

Girl, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)

Something with you (Something with you)

Sad is the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)

 Okay so for one it’s pretty clingy as a romance song so it’s already perfect. We’re choosing to ignore it’s sung to a woman shhhh but look, okay. “I can no longer get close to your mouth/Without desiring you in a crazy way” is one of my favorite love song lines ever because I’m that brand of idiot but LUCKILY SO IS HARRY DU FUCKING BOIS OKAY so it makes me think of… devastatingly cool smoking Kim. I laughed a lot at the way “Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive” paralleled a lot of my friends’ testimonies of getting really bummed out that Kim left with the body and they couldn’t hang out with him anymore. Also the sort of desperate air of “I have so few roads left/And although it may seem like a folly to you/I would not want to die without having something with you” also pings really nicely with Harry’s state of mind and inexperience and the assumed (reasonable lol) reaction that Kim might have at figuring out about this very unstable man’s pining after him. I almost had a different version of this song but despite the cheesiness of this rendition I like the way the ending lines devolve into… even more desperation. You go to therapy Harry, maybe you’ll get to smooch Kim if that works out…

4.       Ya Sé- the final dream with Dora.

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I know ... that you don't want to see me, I already know

That you are tired of my way of loving

That you don’t understand me and my jealousy does you wrong

That my caresses no longer shine on your skin

And that my nights are full of anxiety

 [Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

 [Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm leaving now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 [Verse 2]

I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know

That you are calm and that you do not plan to return

That he has everything that he could never be

What are you saying that I have no dignity

That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad

 [Chorus]

Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice

Sorry

I know you’re hating me

I'm going now! I want you to know something:

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 [Outro]

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips

 Okay so the final dream kicked me in the emotional nuts and this is such a fucking fitting song. I mean, the phonecall had already killed me pretty hard, and the idea of Dora’s voice being so stuck in Harry’s mind that he can immediately react is… it’s a lot. I like the lip imagery here too bc I’m a slut for parallels between Kim and Dora, sue me. The self-flagellation and repetition and just… “ I know what you’re feeling but I don’t care I’m feeling this about it”  is so very fitting for the two of them… I just think about it a lot…

5.       Ódiame- Jean again… Jean in Martinaise…

Translated lyrics:

Love, don't forget me

Please,

Hate me

 Hate me as a mercy, I beg you

Hate me without measure or clemency

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because  resentment wants less than oblivion

 Hate me for mercy I ask you

Hate me without measure or mercy

Hate, I want, more than indifference

Because  resentment wants less than oblivion

 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud

Or is it worth more, your weak beauty

Think that at the bottom of the burial pit

We’ll be wearing the same clothing

 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced

That you loved me well, with insistence

But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 But keep in mind, according to experience,

That you can only hate that which you love

 OKAY SO THIS ONE IS JUICY AS WELL… the whole theme of hate vs forgetting is very directly a Harryjean dynamic but. Please consider the way that this song is very directly interpretable as Jean just. Straight up going into bargaining over the harry amnesia thing. Like, fuck, even if you’re gonna keep being a horrible abusive asshole and pushing me away, at least don’t go an forget me. WHAT A KICK IN THE FUCKING NUTS. Also love the Broderbund bullshit with “Think that at the bottom of the burial pit/We’ll be wearing the same clothing” because. Cop Angst and their equality as partners is Important To Me. Also definitely calling out Jean’s entire being with “ you can only hate that which you love”

6.       Sí Po’- Inviting Kim to the 41st (gay)/post-mart domestica

Translated lyrics:

[Verse 1]

The stars aligned

You can't guess what happened

Do you remember that chore

That they had set me for today

 [Verse 2]

Yea, see, I managed to run it for tomorrow

I have all the time in the world for you

Mmm mmm mmm

Yea, see, just today that you are also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

 [Pre-chorus 1]

It’s not like it was planned

Once it touches us

All the time giving up

Always going towards the crash

 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

 [Chorus]

"Let’s not go shopping, not today"

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

 [Verse 3]

The weight of the glue

It doesn't make sense if it's like this

Dying with the excuse (From!)

That there is no other way to live

 [Verse 4]

No, see, I want to spend more time with you

If a window opens I will take advantage of it

Mmm mmm mmm

Yeah, see, and now that you’re also free

We will have all the time in the world to do

Mmm mmm mmm

 [Pre-chorus 2]

More than enough

And I fully complain

But the time of the world

It's not that long either

 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice

Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself

 [Chorus]

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

" Let’s not go shopping, not today " ("please!")

" Let’s not go shopping, not today "

You tell me and I’ll shop for you

 [Outro]

With you I have the impression of being safe

That you don't always have to be doing something

 LOOK. LOOK. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE TROPE OF THESE TWO ACTING LIKE EMBARASSED TEENAGERS AND THIS IS MY SHITPOST APRIL FOOLS PLAYLIST SO I AM GOING TO THROW IN A COOL TEEN CRUSH SONG SHUT UP. I love the intimacy of just. Groceries for each other, “casually” making time for each other, it’s just the best. Also “But the time of the world/It's not that long either” is HNNG with full game spoilers but you know what. It is also sweet. Fuck you, they want to spend quality time…

7.       Tartar de estár major- literally just a terrible cheesy “things will be better OR ELSE” credits scene type song

Translated lyrics:

Tell that old story

That despite everything some things remain

The moments lived

Memories that will remain

Deep in the soul

Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things that we did

 It was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

Despite the mistakes

Despite the flaws and virtues

I keep in me the best

Moments that will remain

Deep in the soul

 abandon everything and think no more

You can not forget what you lived

And your loved ones

They miss you when you are gone

They don't want to cry for you

 Many times

we had to be apart

And feel that despite the distance

We feel the same as each other always

 Nothing can make you forget

That we walked the same path

And the things we did was because we wanted to be

Again in this place

 Do not overthink it more

There is always a reason

Trying to revive

Trying to be better

 Trying to be better

 A song about memories… and being loved and values… and surviving through those memories and that love in order to try to become a better person……. That’s all I’m gonna say….

[winebleeds]

REPOST DON’T REBLOG.

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME:    pineapple 🍍

PRONOUNS:   she / her

ZODIAC SIGN:     taurus sun, aquarius moon, libra rising i think... but im an aries at heart.

TAKEN OR SINGLE:    single  and happy that way

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

the nickname ‘pineapple’ came from someone saying it meant i was ditzy & my apush teacher thought it was so hilarious that it stuck... icb that’s been my nickname for ten years now.

i, too, have a vinyl record... alongside the many old albums my parents had during their 20′s. granted, i never play this vinyl since i think i broke the needle.

the first movie i remember seeing in the movie theaters was the pokemon 2000 movie... which says a lot because i can’t remember the last movie i saw in a movie theater.

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

i feel like im the only one here that started on devianart back like 2010, where writing h*****a fanfics became rping. then it transferred to chatzy where i made the first version of liz & later raleigh. then the whole state personification community (...yeah...) started moving to tumblr in 2013 and that’s how i got dragged to hell.

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

uh. idk. i would say i lean towards grumpier muses (arthur k*rkland, liz, g*ralt) with some ‘dad’ muses too (obi w*n, r*ck gr*mes), but i’ve really just stuck to the spencers since 2013. however, if i ever lean towards canon characters as muses, it’s males since i usually relate to male muses over female ones; liz has just been a super odd exception. 

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡  

FLUFF:  you see. it’s cute and all. and it establishes how soft some of these grumpier characters can get but...

ANGST: you need to fluff to make the angst oh so worth it. >:3

SMUT: no... or rather it can be implied and idc if someone else writes it, but it’s just not for me. mainly because my asexual ass knows squat about sexual feelings and body parts.

PLOT / MEMES:   im a mixture of both memes & plotting. hell, so many dynamics occurred through shitposts and just grow from here. though i will say that the more comfortable i am with you, the easier it is for me to plot things out or get ideas going. so ooc interactions are important to delve in the ic stuff, if only bc im a little timid & want to make sure everything’s okay with the other person. like, sometimes i am slower because im trying to gain the courage to talk / trying to get the right words down... even if i do talk a lot too it’s... a paradox of my personality. and, yeah, sometimes ic interactions don’t mesh and it just up being ooc interactions which, i am more than happy to just comment on posts and send headcanon questions. we’re all people who want to talk about our creations or things that are going on. as for other general stuff, im better if im the only replying instead of starting a thread / starter, since im able to build more from that. im also probably not going to send ic memes w/o some sort of plotting, but someone sending me memes, w/o previous interactions, often ends up with me in the pm’s. so feel free to send memes... or just roast on jamie. someone gotta lower that boy’s ego.

tagged by:   stole from @naivty tagging:   just tag me if you take the bait.

[dvrksiider]

ayy it’s been a wild ride you guys. i started this blog two years ago out of pure spite (partly how disney was handling the new films and what george lucas said about how he “doesn’t do female villains” lol oKaY) and look where we are!! i want to thank each and every one of you for the joy and creativity you bring to my dash and for putting up with me, ya girl. i want to take the time to give some personal shout outs to my frequent rp parters and mentions to those i love seeing on my dash! may the swrpc and rpc in general fight to remain welcoming place for everyone wishing to step into the environment and headspace of their favorite stories and characters. may the force be with you!

The Dark Side

★   @orphanedshadow​   ➸   we probably go back further than most mutuals on any of my blogs. an og till the end. small sith child is kind of everything i need and i love how we manage to make kara fit into pretty much any universe <3 

★   @imperapristini  ➸   lari and i do more screaming on discord but she knows i love iden and inferno squad so much!! we’ve done more on my multi, but i’m stoked to do some threads with her on this blog too! 

★   @sunderedforce / @forcetwiin   ➸   ayy bb we haven’t done stuff in a while but you’re great and i always have fun whether or not we’re coming up with legit plots or having kylo and nyla drive snoke into early retirement! 

The Light Side 

★   @hopegained​  / @hopebore  ➸  one of my oldest buddies in the star wars rpc. i love one (1) grumpy skywalker. nida is awesome and i live for her hot takes and headcanons. also we stan a hobo space dad! 

★   @kybcrhearted   ➸   my other half, the angst queen! we complete each other’s sandwiches!  i love mara, she is absolutely fantastic (so does corry uwu) our dynamics for them are so great, whether it’s resistance girlfriends or the infamous hate!tp !! and of course, the adopted porg was a wonderful addition to the space family.

★   @neversith / @percentstardust   ➸   rissa is one of my shitposting partners in crime! it’s nearly impossible for us to have a normal conversation asdfghjkl. such a sweet and lovely person. anakin is everyone’s favorite space grandpa, and i love her oc’s on her multi!

★   @hopetrooper / @crimscnsabcr  ➸   brandyn loves finn so much and it shows! he’s so creative with his verses and au’s for him! can’t wait to see more of his kylo too! fellow audiophile here, so i love seeing the turntable set ups!!!      

Other Friends In the Galaxy

@jedipadawan4589, @hopetwin, @scndsister, @wxldchxld, @adventurisk, @bloodybonesnbruises,  @stcrsloved, @darkxrey, @forcesheart, @gingeralehux, @glamorwitch, @orphicdawn,  @hiddenjedii, @starcrossedkiller, @rollingmapcarrier, @emperorhux, AND THE REST OF MY LOVELY MUTUALS !!! (even if we just quietly observe each other from afar). 

[turtle-steverogers]

In the SPOTlight

this is for my main bitch, @labert-dasilver ‘s, birthday.  thank u for being my partner in crime, the other half to my chaotic duo, the al to my race, the angst filter to my wild 3 am ideas.  i truly don’t know where id be without u.  happy birthday, queen!!! i love you

oof ima note that i’m basing the workings of this off my own theatre director and cue to cue and shit yeah #theatre life

warnings: none

ship: sprace

editing: nopee

“Alright, we’re running Step in Time!  Full tech,” Medda Larkin, Manhattan High’s theatre director called through her megaphone from the top of the house, “Why isn’t Antonio on stage, and Sean!”

Spot Conlon peeked his head out of the booth, “Yes, Miss Medda?”

“Why are the house lights still up?”

“Sorry! Sorry,” The house lights lowered gradually, until only the lights on stage and cyc lights were up.

“Thank you!” Spot shot a thumbs up out of the booth and turned back to the lighting board.  At that moment, Racetrack Higgins ran on stage, looking entirely frazzled with his button down shirt untucked and suspenders half on.  He had a broom tucked under his chin and he was struggling to straighten out his costume.

“Antonio, where were you?  We can’t start Step in Time without our Bert,” Medda reprimanded, her voice coming out tingy through the megaphone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Race called, sheepishly, snapping his suspenders up and propping the broom over his shoulder, “I misplaced my old broom so Whiz had to find me another.”

“God bless Whiz,” Medda sighed, “What would we do without her?”

“Crash and burn, probably,” Finch called from one of the spots.

“Anyway, we all ready?” Medda called, drumming her fingers haughtily.  Race and Katherine, their production’s Mary, called confirmations and the music started up.  Race began to sing, his voice filling the theatre, but as soon as he started, Medda called for him to stop.  The music cut out abruptly and Race and Katherine blinked at each other in confusion.

“There’s supposed to be a spot on Race,” Medda said, “Who else is on spot besides Finch?”

Spot grumbled to himself, sticking his head out of the booth to peer at the other spot booth.  It was empty.  Figures.

“Uh, looks like Romeo isn’t doing what he’s supposed to,” Spot called back, “Where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Medda answered, growing impatient, “But we don’t have time for this.  Get someone else to do it!”

Spot let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his short hair, “Uhhh, fuck, uh Jack?” He turned to his crewhead that had previously been scrolling through his phone on the mildewy futon that they kept in the booth.  They really had to replace that thing.  

“Yeah?” Jack said, looking up and abandoning his phone beside him.

“Could you take over the lightboard?  I gotta go run Romeo’s spot.”

Jack shrugged and wordlessly plopped himself at the station.

“Thanks, man,” Spot said, already jogging down to Romeo’s vacant position.

“Is everything handled?” Medda asked.

“Yep!” Spot shouted.

“Lovely,” Medda placed her megaphone down, “Start at the top!”

Race and Katherine scrambled back over to stage left, Les and Smalls, who were playing Jane and Michael, on their heels.

The song restarted, this time with both of the spots, and everything went smoothly until, “Sean Conlon, why is the spot still on Antonio!  It’s supposed to be on Katherine, you know, the one actually dancing right now!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Spot called, blushing.  

“Back to the top!”

Race and Katherine exchanged exasperated glances as they slumped back over to their starting position.  They made it through almost the entirety of the song when, “Sean Conlon, for the last time, get the spot off of Mr. Higgins and on Ms. Plumber!”

Race smirked in the direction of the spot that had been following him almost feverishly for the past two minutes, “Hey, Spottie, for someone literally named after his craft, you’re pretty distractible.  I mean, I understand that these pants really make my ass pop, but you still gotta do your job correctly.” Spot felt his face heat up as he watched Katherine smack Race’s arm.

“Nah, just highlighting your ugliness,” Spot retorted, trying to keep the embarrassment out of his voice.

“You’re really bad at comebacks,” Race called smugly, “‘Specially when you’re flustered.  I can’t see you, but I can practically feel your blush.”

“Screw you, Higgins!”

“You wish, Conlon!”

“Alright you two,” Medda interrupted, waving her hands to stop the boys’ bickering, “Keep the flirting to your own time.  We need to finish this scene.”

This time, Race blushed as well, but they set up for the beginning of the song nonetheless.  No mistakes were made this time, no doubt a result of Spot attempting to avoid further ridicule.  The actors hit their final pose and Spot slowly brought down the spotlight, then jogged back to the booth to bring up the house lights.

“Thank you for finally pulling that together, guys,” Medda addressed the cast and crew, “Take, say, fifteen minutes to break and then we’ll plug through the rest of the show with tech.”

Spot let out a breath of relief as everyone dispersed.  Cue to cue days were always long and breaks were far and few in between, so it was nice when they were finally granted one.  He grabbed his water bottle and exited the booth to refill it.  When he got out, he found Race standing by the water fountain, eating an apple.

Butterflies bubbled in Spot’s stomach upon the sight of his long time crush up close, but he ignored them and feigned confidence, “Aye, Higgins, no eating in costume.”

Race looked up in surprise, hastily moving to hide the apple, but stopping when he realized who Spot was, “Whatever,” Race said, biting into his apple.

“That’s no way to treat your resident lighting designer,” Spot said, bending over to fill up his bottle, “Ya know, actors should really learn to respect us techies more.”

Race quirked an eyebrow, “And techies should learn to follow the correct actor when working the spotlight.  I mean, c’mon, Spottie, am I really that irresistible?”

Spot straightened up, a new sort of challenging intensity in his eyes, “Yeah, actually, you are.”

Race’s eyes widened and he reached forward, pulling Spot in by the front of the shirt.  Before their lips could connect, one of the assistant stage managers, Elmer, peeked his head through the stage door, “Five minutes.”

Spot and Race didn’t break eye contact as they answered, “Thank you five!”

There was a moment of tension where neither boy moved, then Spot leaned in and kissed Race.  The taller boy melted into the kiss, releasing his grip on Spot’s shirt in order to hold his hips.  Their lips fit together soundly, and Spot could feel the butterflies spark up again as warmth spread throughout his body.  They broke apart after what could have been hours, both of them smiling serenely.

“Hey,” Race murmured, “I think I’m a spotlight and you’re on lighting crew ‘cause you turn me on.”

Spot furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, taken aback, “Was that a lighting pick-up line?”

Race nodded, “Sure was.”

Spot threw his head back in laughter, Race joining him a moment later, “Real classy, Higgins.”

“Ah suck it, Conlon.”

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@labert-dasilver

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@kpop-kk

@mentallytiredgoat

@yxseminx

[queen-ofsunflowers]

September 2018 Progress

It is doing this that I realize I have too many AA AUs. And I also realize that I don’t really care because I like doing it.

Michael Mell: Ace Attorney - This fic has come to a stand still. And I apologize. I’ve struck a writer’s block, or rather a lack of motivation for writing it at the moment. Which sucks, because I have a crap ton of plot ideas for the fics that I want to write that follow it. Until that motivation returns, we’re stuck post-Turnabout Goodbyes, but before Rise From the Ashes. Progress: 20/32

Turnabout Fairytale: A Land Without Magic - So far, I have up to chapter seventeen planned out. Basic scenes and all that. Chapter one is nearly finished. Probably won’t be done by December like I said it would be originally, but... the first fic wasn’t done when I started publishing it. I’m surprised I managed to post an update every week, actually. Anyway, I’ll get done what I can by December, and post it then still. There will be significant progress made by then, so I should be good. Knocking on wood. Progress: .89/22

Phoenix Wright: Wizarding Attorney - This is something that I have plans for as well, further ahead in the whole AU. And it’s going pretty well, so far, too. I’ve been just explaining some details, such as during the trials and during some... long parts of the investigations. So, this has some good progress on it, I guess. There are some extra chapters and plot things that I need to write and plan out, but the whole thing is going so far so good. Progress: 4/30

A Family of Wild Cards: My Darling Twin - The first in my whole Wild Card Fam AU that Tumblr has been prohibiting my posts on like a little ass. Seriously, they have not been showing up in tags and I don’t know why. And it makes me mad. Anyway, the whole thing starts out with Persona 3, because why not and I like to start at the beginning to avoid some unnecessary, long explanations that could be avoided. So far, Kotone (name I use for FeMC because reasons) and Minato (P3MC) have gotten off the train. That’s it. There some small bits of scenes done, too. Such as the angst at the very end because that’s my outlet for anger and oncoming panic attacks. Progress: .08/???

From the Diary of a Not-So-Secret Prince - I repeatedly watched the Princess Diaries movies, and my mind went places. I have an excerpt of this somewhere in my queue, but I think you can guess what it’s an AU for. If you haven’t seen the list, it’s Ace Attorney. You can blame my sister for that one. I might make a Persona AU for it or something. I don’t know. Anyway, I have some bits and pieces done. The first chapter is short, but it’s complete. It’s just a generic thing and opening exposition and plot devices for our main boy, but... whatever. I’ll be posting the excerpt shortly after I post this. Progress: 1/???

The Miraculous Turnabout: Creation and Destruction - A couple pages of the first chapter are written and almost done. I still need to finish Apollo’s first outing as Lady Beetle. I’ve also decided that not every chapter is gonna be Akuma. Which will make writing a lot easier than it should be. Hopefully, this means the fic will get done sooner and I can start publishing it. Still not sure if I should wait to post the AA4 fic and go back to the trilogy Cat and Bug. If not, I’ll probably post them side-by-side. Progress: .92/28

Legend of the Yatagarasu: Book One - Which is my Avatar AU that I’ve been posting about. No real name yet for the fic. There are some snippets and bits of scenes written, but I’m having some trouble getting it started. It’s a bit slow before it picks up with plot, Avatar reveal, almost... almost revealing the opening plot like a dumbass because I like talking about this way too much. Anyway, this only recently got started, so the short amount of progress is actually reasonable. Progress: .12/???

Team Fusionfall - A comic that I’ve had in mind since freshman year of high school, making it four years now. I’m actually gonna get started on this, as people do seem interested in the game again. Unfortunately, it’ll be posted on a seperate blog because this one is just me shitposting and Ace Attorney. And it’s hard to navigate sometimes. Progress: 0.02/???

I have more WIPs, but they are just snippets at this point and not actually written. As soon as they make it past the first scene, they’ll make it onto the list.

[klanced]

Since ur psychic any S4 predictions?

(still hasn’t finished season 3) well i think,

ok i’m just gonna like uhh fling some stuff at the wall and we’ll see what sticks in a few weeks. i wanted 2 do character shitposts but instead i just predicted some basic plot :/

We all call Keith a loner but Pidge also has a habit of going off on her own and thinking her way is best. Which is going to bite her in the bum next season when she slips off to find Matt.

In season 1, Pidge realized that she was part of a team, and that teammates have each other’s backs. You can’t just fix one thing on your own, you have ties and responsibilities, yada yada. She’s seemed to unlearn that in season 4. 

It could be because she’s gotten more confident over the past few seasons. Personally, I think it’s because the team dynamics are going 2 get hella unstable next season, and as uncertainties rise Pidge decides to just make a ‘quick’ pit stop to check out a Matt Tip and then ends up in a Star Wars movie.

Like, look at that cloak. That’s a Star Wars thing. I never watched the prequels, but Pidge is gonna be Obi-Wan Kenobing this shit like nobody’s business.

Pidge, making a lightsaber: God I am so freaking cool

Coran wasn’t around much in season 3 but now that we’ve established he’s present in a ton of Tragic Backstory, we’re going to see that play out in some way.

Corangst time

Acxa is going to be in the perfect position to kill a Paladin (i.e. Keith) but she’ll decide to not take the shot because of x moral reason and then we’ll have an episode dedicated to more Galra angsting. This show Loves Galra angst.

This’ll be a subplot though to the episode where Lotor angsts about Zarkon and how he and his father keep coming into conflict. Zarkon is basically going to piss all over the work Lotor put in during season 3 and it’s going to peeve purple boy off.

Zarkon is happy about the meteorite or whatever Lotor stole. Zarkon is happy that they’re going to make a dark Voltron. Zarkon is not happy that Lotor and his generals are planning to pilot it, because Zarkon is only happy when he’s in complete control of something. Cue father/son tension.

Hey so like, is Haggar Lotor’s mom or what?? Like, I figure he was a test tube baby or something, because otherwise Haggar is going to be PISSED about her husband having a kid with someone else. Lmfaooo I hope we see this conversation.

Speaking of mom’s, we’ll meet Keith’s mom in the last 30 seconds of the season because this show only knows how to end on cliffhangers. 

She’s going to slowly take off her helmet and she’ll look Exactly Like Keith (tiny chin) and everyone’ll gasp and Keith, voice a little wobbly, desperately trying not to get his hopes up even as his fists tighten at his side, will say, “Mom?” before cut to black.

‘Shiro’ will be revealed as a clone within the first couple of eps because this show Does Not Know How To Pace Things (it’s either that, or he’ll be revealed midway through after a bunch of mixed filler/plot eps). Once everyone realizes that the Real Shiro is still out there somewhere, Keith immediately sets out to look for him (maybe this is the destabilizing thing Keith chooses to do??).

This could also explain why Pidge decided to look for Matt on her own. She sees Keith fuck off and is like ‘oh shit me too’ and goes.

Also like, one thing I never got is that back in April we saw a picture of Matt and Shiro fighting together. That pic was probably from a scene happening this season or maybe the next one, which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that Shiro is wearing the black paladin uniform he disappeared in??? And again, haven’t finished season 3 yet, but Buzz Lightyear doesn’t seem to have it.

So tldr real Shiro is kicking back with Matt and by kicking back I mean probably fighting for their lives. Shiro’s life sucks.

anyway. turn up

[donofdepravity]

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -This blog is Indie & Private. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Dark Themes: -THIS IS A FUCKED UP VILLAIN MUSE. PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS. He WILL be gross. -Angst / Violence / Death and other dark themes not limited to the aforementioned will appear on this blog. If these bother you, do not follow me.  I do tag everything, if you are selectively uncomfortable please check my TW tags page to check what I tag. -Anything verging on or in the extreme (Re the above, or within smut topics) will be hidden under cuts. (I don’t hide general NS/FW, but it is tagged if you wish to avoid it.) -Basically, if a post I’m writing or replying to involves what I believe to be a triggering topic, I’ll tag it. -If you need anything specific tagged, please let me know. -I do not have any particular triggers myself for you to tag.

Basis of engagement: -General RP etiquette applies. -No god-modding. Don’t control my muse. Minor implied things can be okay within reason, like opening doors, or if in a character moves some part of another character. But please be reasonable and fair. -Related to above, I have no interest in RPing with someone that has a control complex / Must be the ultimate / best at everything. (There are logical muses that get a pass on this rule, ie Sephiroth, but within reason.) -This is not a multi-muse blog. I try to plan 1-1 encounters in threads. While I don’t mind brief character appearances, please don’t rely on the thread having an ensemble cast. It doesn’t work well with Tumblr’s reply format IMO.

Ships -Where to even start. Uh. So ironically I’m not particularly looking to ship on this blog since he’s not a primary muse of mine. But ships will be considered within a plot context. -My Corneo is primarily hetero. He won’t knowingly fuck a guy, but he will appreciate a pretty boy, and he’s not above wanking off to, or with other men. Maybe if he were drunk enough he’d fuck a guy. -In general as a person I am a Multi-Shipper. If for some disturbing reason you ship your muse with Corneo, you’re welcome to tell me. But ask first rather than presume. He’s got a rep for one-night-stands with his brides of course, but I will still be selective threading. -Romantic involvement however he is much more selective, so there will be chemistry required. -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Smut will occasionally appear on this blog if my my brain decides it’s in the/a cursed mood. But if you want to write it with me, let’s discuss it a bit first privately. -While I do love me some good horny writing, I can appreciate its not for everyone. I am open to fade to blacks / morning after if you are not smut-inclined. -Once any flirting progresses to smut it will be tagged with: ‘⋙{ ns/fw }’ - It is my general NS/FW tag. Any TWs will be applied additionally.

Dark Themes -As I mentioned dark topics before, I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -I will tag Selfcest or anything grey-zone ‘problematic’ if relevant in case you prefer to block it. -Where relevant dub con / non con or other such triggers will be tagged. Please be aware that any threads containing as such serve a plotted narrative purpose and are not rape fetishization. I’m not changing my content. If you have a problem with grasping this concept, please leave. Your mental health and safety is important, but also your own responsibility.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Memes: -I will try to respond to memes / asks! Mutuals, Non-Mutuals, Anons all welcome. -Please don’t take it personally if I don’t answer your ask, sometimes things just don’t click. -Starter-memes, unless I pm you and discuss otherwise, generally these are for smaller-format threads. Just to balance out my lengths of things and make it easier for me to get something back to you.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 2-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Reply Frequency: -This is not my primary muse, so I will only be checking this blog occasionally. Consider it low-activity. -When my threads start crowding I queue posts to help stagger replies. -Neither length nor reply-speed is an indicator of my interest level in a thread. Some threads are intended to be larger formal threads while others are shorter that I want to remain light for enjoyment. A varied thread diet is best. -Please do not compare my threads against each other. I plan my replies around how I know I’ll best be able to manage my schedule, as well as meshing in with my various RP partners schedules. Occasionally this means one person may receive a burst of replies in a short space of time. This is usually because we only have a narrow window to mutually be active as they may only be able to reply every few days. It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring others. I’ll get to you, just chill. Things are fine. Bother me about this? You will be likely dropped. -That said, if it’s been around a month, you are welcome to check with me if I got your reply on a thread! I’m aware Tumblr sometimes eats replies and notifications. Likely it’s sitting in my drafts to write soon. But please don’t demand constant responses. I run multiple blogs, sometimes am in the mood for different muses, and have things I do outside of Tumblr as well of course.

Threads: -If life is getting fairly busy, I can’t promise replying to random starters/tags, so please message me if you want to start something. :3 -I will post Starter/Plotting/Ship calls etc occasionally, so please hmu on those if you see them. -My ‘Open Starters’ are open to mutuals. -If we’re not mutuals and you’re looking to get my interest, you’re always welcome to send something to my inbox and I might answer it. If you don’t know what to send, please check out my meme tag for ideas.

My rules used to be so short, but unfortunately certain encounters, and trying to avoid confrontations has led to it growing into a monstrosity, sorry. If you do anything in breach of them, I’ll bring it up with you. If a reasonable solution cannot be reached, I have no qualms blocking people.

Theme: OctoMoosey Icons by myself (rave-rps) Icon Frames by myself (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps)

[transparentcrescent]

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -I am Indie & Mutuals-Only. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back. I will interact with my inbox though, so check out my memes if you’re looking to break the ice. It’s just threads I reserve for Mutuals.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Dark Themes: -Angst / Violence / Death and other dark themes not limited to the aforementioned will appear on this blog. If these bother you, do not follow me. I do tag everything, so if you are selectively uncomfortable please check my TW tags page to check what I tag. -Anything verging on or in the extreme will be hidden under cuts. (I don’t hide general NS/FW, but it is tagged if you wish to avoid it.) -Basically, if a post I’m writing or replying to involves what I believe to be a triggering topic, I’ll tag it. -If you need anything specific tagged, please let me know. -I do not have any particular triggers myself for you to tag.

Basis of engagement: -General RP etiquette applies. -No god-modding. Don’t control my muse. Minor implied things can be okay within reason, like opening doors, or if in a character moves some part of another character. But please be reasonable and fair. -Related to above, I have no interest in RPing with someone that has a control complex / Must be the ultimate / best at everything. (There are logical muses that get a pass on this rule, ie Sephiroth, but within reason.) -This is not a multi-muse blog. I try to plan 1-1 encounters in threads. While I don’t mind brief character appearances, please don’t rely on the thread having an ensemble cast. It doesn’t work well with Tumblr’s reply format IMO.

Shelke isn’t a muse inclined to relationships. I will never default to shipping her. That said, I am not opposed to characters exploring the possibility emotionally but I will be highly selective when considering appropriate scenarios and dynamics if she is to explore a potential relationship.

Please keep in mind by the events of Dirge of Cerberus, while she is physically 9, she is 20 years old. Shelke did continue to gain life experiences- albeit traumatic ones -during her time in Deepground, and while the setting does affect her capacity to relate to others, that doesn’t invalidate her from such experiences. I won’t tolerate people acting as if she is only 9 years old, both because that would be gross, but also infantilising.

Ships -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Smut won’t appear on this blog. Although I am a smut writer with my other muses, I have no intention of writing it on this one. -If a ship ever did reach a plausible scenario where something ‘more’ would occur, a fade to black will be used.

Dark Themes -While I as a mun am not opposed to dark themes, that only applies as long as due care is given to the subject and it serves a plotted narrative purpose, is not fetishization, and is tagged properly. I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -Due to the background muse I am aware many dark themes would be of an overly sensitive nature, and I do not intend to actively seek out those scenarios and themes. -The inclusion of this segment in my rules is simply to help you understand my perceptions on such topics. If you have a problem with grasping these concepts, please leave.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Memes: -I will try to respond to memes / asks ! Mutuals, Non-Mutuals, Anons all welcome. -Please don’t take it personally if I don’t answer your ask, sometimes things just don’t click. -Starter-memes, unless I pm you and discuss otherwise, generally these are for smaller-format threads. Just to balance out my lengths of things and make it easier for me to get something back to you.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 3-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Reply Frequency: -Sometimes I’m actively lurking, sometimes I’m not. My levels of muse, and muse for specific threads will vary day to day. I reckon I consider myself medium-activity at present. -When my threads start crowding I queue posts to help stagger replies. -Neither length nor reply-speed is an indicator of my interest level in a thread. Some threads are intended to be larger formal threads while others are shorter that I want to remain light for enjoyment. A varied thread diet is best. -Please do not compare my threads against each other. I plan my replies around how I know I’ll best be able to manage my schedule, as well as meshing in with my various RP partners schedules. Occasionally this means one person may receive a burst of replies in a short space of time. This is usually because we only have a narrow window to mutually be active as they may only be able to reply every few days. It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring others. I’ll get to you, just chill. Things are fine. Bother me about this? You will be likely dropped. -That said, if it’s been a fair few days, you are welcome to check with me if I got your reply on a thread! I’m aware Tumblr sometimes eats replies and notifications. Likely it’s sitting in my drafts to write soon. But please don’t demand constant responses. I run multiple blogs, sometimes am in the mood for different muses, and have things I do outside of Tumblr as well of course.

Threads: -If life is getting fairly busy, I can’t promise replying to random starters/tags, so please message me if you want to start something. :3 -I will post Starter/Plotting/Ship calls etc occasionally, so please hmu on those if you see them. -My ‘Open Starters’ are open to mutuals. -If we’re not mutuals and you’re looking to get my interest, you’re always welcome to send something to my inbox and I might answer it. If you don’t know what to send, please check out my meme tag for ideas.

My rules used to be so short, but unfortunately certain encounters, and trying to avoid confrontations has led to it growing into a monstrosity, sorry. If you do anything in breach of them, I’ll bring it up with you. If a reasonable solution cannot be reached, I have no qualms blocking people.

Theme: OctoMoosey Shelke Icons by professordipshit Lucrecia Icons by professordipshit Icon Frames by myself (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps)

[giftofthegodess]

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -I am Indie & Mutuals-Only. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back. I will interact with my inbox though, so check out my memes if you’re looking to break the ice. It’s just threads I reserve for Mutuals.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be.  -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Dark Themes: -Angst / Violence / Death and other dark themes not limited to the aforementioned will appear on this blog. If these bother you, do not follow me.  I do tag everything, if you are selectively uncomfortable please check my TW tags page to check what I tag. -Anything verging on or in the extreme (Re the above, or within smut topics) will be hidden under cuts. (I don’t hide general NS/FW, but it is tagged if you wish to avoid it.) -Basically, if a post I’m writing or replying to involves what I believe to be a triggering topic, I’ll tag it. -If you need anything specific tagged, please let me know. -I do not have any particular triggers myself for you to tag.

Basis of engagement: -General RP etiquette applies. -No god-modding. Don’t control my muse. Minor implied things can be okay within reason, like opening doors, or if in a character moves some part of another character. But please be reasonable and fair. -Related to above, I have no interest in RPing with someone that has a control complex / Must be the ultimate / best at everything. (There are logical muses that get a pass on this rule, ie Sephiroth, but within reason.) -This is not a multi-muse blog. I try to plan 1-1 encounters in threads. While I don’t mind brief character appearances, please don’t rely on the thread having an ensemble cast. It doesn’t work well with Tumblr’s reply format IMO.

Ships -I am a Multi-Shipper. Seriously, multi-ship trash. Please tell me your ships. -My Genesis muse is highly openly sexually, and bi. Odds are I’ll be open to ship, just ask first. He’s got a rep for one-night-stands, but I will still be selective threading. -Romantic involvement however he is much more selective, so there will be chemistry required. -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Same goes for smut, which will appear on this blog. If you want to write it, let’s discuss it a bit first privately. -While I do love me some good horny writing, I can appreciate its not for everyone. I am open to fade to blacks / morning after if you are not smut-inclined. -Once any flirting progresses to smut it will be tagged with ‘She guides us to bliss (ns/fw)’ - It is my general NS/FW tag. Any TWs will be applied additionally.

Dark Themes -As I mentioned dark topics before, I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -I will tag Selfcest or anything grey-zone ‘problematic’ if relevant in case you prefer to block it. -Where relevant dub con or other such triggers will be tagged. Please be aware that any threads containing as such serve a plotted narrative purpose and are not rape fetishization. I’m not changing my content. If you have a problem with grasping this concept, please leave.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Memes: -I will try to respond to memes / asks ! Mutuals, Non-Mutuals, Anons all welcome. -Please don’t take it personally if I don’t answer your ask, sometimes things just don’t click. -Starter-memes, unless I pm you and discuss otherwise, generally these are for smaller-format threads. Just to balance out my lengths of things and make it easier for me to get something back to you.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 3-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Reply Frequency: -Sometimes I’m actively lurking, sometimes I’m not. My levels of muse, and muse for specific threads will vary day to day. I reckon I consider myself medium-activity at present. -When my threads start crowding I queue posts to help stagger replies. -Neither length nor reply-speed is an indicator of my interest level in a thread. Some threads are intended to be larger formal threads while others are shorter that I want to remain light for enjoyment. A varied thread diet is best. -Please do not compare my threads against each other. I plan my replies around how I know I’ll best be able to manage my schedule, as well as meshing in with my various RP partners schedules. Occasionally this means one person may receive a burst of replies in a short space of time. This is usually because we only have a narrow window to mutually be active as they may only be able to reply every few days. It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring others. I’ll get to you, just chill. Things are fine. Bother me about this? You will be likely dropped. -That said, if it’s been a fair few days, you are welcome to check with me if I got your reply on a thread! I’m aware Tumblr sometimes eats replies and notifications. Likely it’s sitting in my drafts to write soon. But please don’t demand constant responses. I run multiple blogs, sometimes am in the mood for different muses, and have things I do outside of Tumblr as well of course.

Threads: -If life is getting fairly busy, I can’t promise replying to random starters/tags, so please message me if you want to start something. :3 -I will post Starter/Plotting/Ship calls etc occasionally, so please hmu on those if you see them. -My ‘Open Starters’ are open to mutuals. -If we’re not mutuals and you’re looking to get my interest, you’re always welcome to send something to my inbox and I might answer it. If you don’t know what to send, please check out my meme tag for ideas.

My rules used to be so short, but unfortunately certain encounters, and trying to avoid confrontations has led to it growing into a monstrosity, sorry. If you do anything in breach of them, I’ll bring it up with you. If a reasonable solution cannot be reached, I have no qualms blocking people.

Theme: OctoMoosey Background: By Jeff Kubina (Edit by me) Static Icons by denofwoe Icon Frames by myself  (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps) GIF Icons by xgamerxiconsx