#I made this because the joe Caine stuff made me think

[owwi]

The youtube shorts arg got me so now here’s just a bit of theorizing and a timeline because. well bored + the fixation is strong with this one

The following contains spoilers for the recent uploads, so I recommend only going if you know the basics, don’t care about it or just wanna see it.

So. If you haven’t been keeping up, here’s a rough idea.

Starting on around July 16th, 5 shorts YouTubers began to post shorts with weird glitch things, randomly popping into each other’s. QR codes also started to show up, with someone wearing a purge mask whoabsolutely fucking hates the YouTube shorts (and maybe also normal shorts). And naturally they wanna get rid of them. We also get introduced to a company called CLONEVPN, which seems to be connected to the one just mentioned and is sending these youtubers clones after they agree to a sponsorship.

The most common crossover involved Riggy from Danno Cal, who notably seems to be one of the two who actually knew that hey maybe he shouldn’t be in other videos! The other being RoyalPear. However, RaZer makes a short saying that he needs help to build a new computer, since his is causing these problems (spoiler alert: ITS NOT IT BRO-)

A new video was released for the QR codes as well, known as Rebirth. This shows the cloning process and it works for a bit, with only two unsuccessful clones, being of Joe Caine, who presumably is just too cool for it, and Riggy, who’s cloning process struggles and ends up making a more blue version of him that notably seems to just be a rabbit. Below are the two. Note how Clone Riggy (Picture 1) has a more vibrant color pallet, no eye color, a crumpled up paper border, and, most notably, lacks the tail that indicates him to me a Runkey. This indicates the cloning process just made him a rabbit. Meanwhile, Riggy (photo 2) is a less turned up shade of blue and red, has the green eyes, a grid paper outline, and of course, the tail.

We didn’t know what this would do until yesterday or the day before, when Jonny RaZer began a stream, ending with his presumed death by clone (also everyone tried to get the clone to eat the thermal paste but it failed). Other videos soon followed from almost all channels listed in the tags, the two exceptions being RoyalPear, who was marked as replaced by a new pfp and avatar they use to represent themself (became a more crudely drawn Tropius). The other is Joe Caine, who is the only one that I know of who never accepted. If not please let me know-

We also got a website! Clonevpn.com, which has a few pages and a spot to enter your email. As of now, I cannot find any hidden pages, but we have been getting codes, so it’s a matter of time.

Okay. That’s the rough timeline. I reccomend watching because I did NOT watch the streams in full. Seriously, go watch if you haven’t.

Now to some theory stuff!

So, Jonny is gonna do a r/place stream, and I bet they might make a QR code. Maybe to the website! Or we might find new links. It’s not much, but it’s gonna be a domino? And… hey! Mayhe thay’ll give us a new hint. Point is, that r/place stuff is something to watch, since we’ll maybe get an idea as to what the hell the clone has been doing.

In addition, it seems implied that both Riggy AND RoyalPear are currently alive, but not well. RoyalPear in particular is not having a good time and it seems the clone replacing him only has a few days to live and prove itself. So, expect something there in a few days! Probably a secret video, likely of the clone getting taken out. Or we might see something to do with Joe, since he’s the only one who is currently known to own his channel.

I gotta be honest, of all of these guys, I don’t watch much bundun. But he does seem to be similar to Riggy, as he IS implied to currently be alive! As of today, he has appeared in the channel’s respective clonevpn sponsorship, and thus, I expect to see him again. He hasn’t showed up nearly as much as the others, but the fact he is ALIVE is a good sign for him, and I wouldn’t be surprised if him and Riggy might team up or something.

Finally, the main theory one. JOE CAINE. Yes that name is a bit… y’know, certain thing sounds, but Joe is actually an interesting case to me. He is one of the few who hasn’t released a clonevpn sponsor, and also has not shown any sign of being replaced. However, his computer IS mentioned to be glitching out and being slow (sound familiar?) and also his… voice being weird? There’s heavy implications that if another creator is present in the short, he is voicing them?? So, that’s a thing.

Also, he can’t be cloned, and I have a small theory. Joe is already a clone. Think like this: Clones are likely harder to clone than things that aren’t clones. In addition, his appearance is based off of Harold, the grandpa meme dude. So, he could theoretically be a clone of that meme, though not Harold since I don’t think we should bring people who aren’t participating into this without them knowing. Plus, the whole voicing thing. If your a clone, maybe you can imitate other voices. It’s a bit far fetched, but this was fun to right. However, there’s one problem. As of soeeddunning shorts 113, we see he has received a sponsorship offer, and I don’t think they’d be after him if he was a clone. However, if he’s not doing what he should… there’s a chance? Either way I expect

tldr: Jonny is dead, Riggy and bundun teamup, Phaluer was not included because I have no clue where he fits in yet, Joe MIGHT be a clone we’re still figuring it out, and RoyalPear is double doomed. also thanks for reading this mess of thought soup, and make sure to take a look for yourself.

EDIT: This was made before we got confirmation Jonny was alive, sorry bout that. most of the above seems to apply still. Might make a new post tommorow okay thanks again!

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 3

One more part after this...at least that's the plan. Hopefully this week! I decided to fix a bit more of the current Emmerdale that I don't like ;)

(AO3 link)

“What the hell were you thinking?” He barely lets Robert say hello, he’s so angry. It’s taken two days for him to call and he’s been both going out of his mind with worry and angry at him for telling him the wrong date.

“Still mad then.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t be? Why Robert?” He sits at the kitchen table, resting his head on his hand. He’d come to bring his stuff to the house before going out to buy anything else he’d need. The social worker was expected sometime during the week and he wanted everything to be just right.

“Because you couldn’t do anything, and it was Seb’s birthday.”

“That’s not…I wanted to be there. You knew that. You know I hate it when you think you know what’s best for me. You were on your own.”

“You would’ve been too, in the gallery. How would that be any better. This way I knew you were with Seb, you were having fun and so was he. That’s why I did it, and if that’s me knowing what’s best then I’m not sorry.” He was right, he knew that, he couldn’t have done anything from the gallery, but even so he’d wanted to be there, so they could at least see each other.

“I hate you some times.”

“Nah, my charm wins through every time.”

“So you say. Don’t do anything like that again. Promise me, don’t shut me out.”

“I promise.” It’s barely a whisper. “Any regrets?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You don’t have to deal with my family where you are.”

“I should be thankful for small mercies I suppose. I mean it though, do you regret it?”

“No. It’s going to be hard I know, but after this we can be together, a family and then we can go wherever we please with no one looking for us. You can get through this Robert, I know you can.”

“I’m not as strong as you.”

“Yes you are. I know you don’t think it, but you are. You’ve got me through the hardest time in my life, you couldn’t do that if you weren’t strong Robert, and I’m going to be here, I’ll visit every second I can, be by the phone whenever you call.”

“Ok.” He’s quiet and all he can hear is the noise in the background, the everyday sounds of prison and he hates it, hates that Robert’s stuck there and there’s not a thing he can do about it. “I have to go.”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“Love you too.” He can’t let go of the phone even when Robert’s hung up. It was already much harder than he’d expected and it wasn’t even a month without him. He had no idea how he’d last a year.

————

“Well Mr Dingle, this all looks very nice. I see no problems at all and it shouldn’t be long at all before Sebastian can come home.” He’s so nervous he barely hears the social worker speak as she wanders round the house. It’s still so bare looking, aside from some of Seb’s toys left the last time he’d visited.

He’d thought of going to Mill and see if Liv had kept the stuff they’d left behind, but then he reasoned it had been a year, they’d likely have been chucked out long before and as he didn’t want to see her or the house he’d left it. He’d have to go shopping, something else he didn’t look forward to.

“Er, thank you. So, um, do you know how long it might be?”

“Officially a week but I really have no objection at all if he were to stay here from now on.” He wants to laugh with relief. Finally something seemed to be going right. “You have all the childcare arrangements sorted so I see no reason to keep you apart any longer.”

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means.”

“Oh I think I do. Anyway, you can expect a call to confirm everything but, enjoy having your son back with you.”

He feels like he’s floating on air as he sees her out, as he walks up to Vic’s and he can’t wait to tell Robert that everything is sorted out. All he has to do now is talk to Seb, to try and explain why he’s going to another new house.

He’s helping Vic in the kitchen when he gets to Keepers and she can immediately tell by the look on his face and he gets a blinding smile in return.

“Dada I’m making cake!”

“I can see. When you’re done can me and you have a little chat?” Seb nods even though Aaron’s not entirely sure he understands but he’s content enough to sit and watch him and Vic for a while.

When they’re finished he sits the little boy on the sofa and he crouches in front of him, Vic’s supportive smile helping him work out exactly what to say.

“So, you know how you’ve been living with Auntie Vic while me and Daddy were away?” He gets a little nod. “Well now we’re back, we thought perhaps you’d like to come and live with me in my new house.”

“And Daddy?”

“Well Daddy has to stay away a little bit longer, but when he comes home then yes. What do you say?”

“I still play with Harry?”

“Yes mate, all the time and you’ll still see Auntie Vic loads and loads.”

“Of course you will, I need my little chef helper don’t I?” Vic sits beside him on the sofa, exchanging a glance with Aaron. Seb seemed to be thinking everything over, and he was a little nervous he was going to say no. “What do you think?”

“And Daddy’s coming?”

“As soon as he can, promise. He calls me too, not for long, but maybe you can talk to him sometimes eh?”

“Ok.”

“Yeah? That’s great.” He looks over to Vic once more, surprised to see her looking a little upset. “Hey mate, why don’t you go upstairs and sort out a few toys to take with us, while I talk to Auntie Vic.” When he’s gone Aaron sits beside her. “Sorry, I’m taking him from you aren’t I?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m just being daft.”

“No you’re not. Do you want to wait, we can leave it a few days.”

“No. He’s yours Aaron, yours and Robert’s. He should be with you. How are you anyway, you never say much.”

“I’m just…getting along, sitting by the phone every night, wondering if we made the right decision. Coming back here, it’s…a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“Have you spoken to Paddy yet?” He looks at her in surprise, he didn’t know she knew what had happened. “Robert told me, made sure I looked out for you. Told me to do what I could to keep Paddy away. But, maybe you should talk, not to make it all ok again, but to stop yourself feeling like this, like you shouldn’t be here. This is your home Aaron, yours and Robert’s and nobody should make you feel like that.”

“I don’t know. I think he’s avoiding me and I kinda want to keep it that way right now.” She nods but doesn’t look convinced. Anything she’s going to say is cut off by a thump from upstairs. “I think I better get up there in case he’s trying to pack the furniture or something.”

————

It’s his first day back at the garage after taking a couple off to settle Seb in at home, and it’s just him and Cain. He prefers it that way, Cain is just as content as him to work in near silence, unlike Dan who insists on inane chatter all day. With Cain he can just get on with his job and the quicker he does the quicker he can get Seb from Vic’s and take him home.

In the few days he’s been back with him he’s felt lighter than he has since they came back, the little boy managing to lift his mood no matter what. He’s full of questions, about Robert, about where they were and all sorts and Aaron loves telling him everything he can about his Daddy Robert and their house in France.

The shouting makes him stop and look up, seeing Jimmy and Nicola having a full on row in the street. He’d heard rumours that things weren’t good between them but he’d thought it was just that, village gossip.

“What’s going on there?”

“According to Charity, Nicola’s going to hand over half the haulage to her and Jimmy knew nowt about it.”

“What? Why on earth would she do that?”

“Who am I, Pearl?”

“Can I take my break now?” He was worried, about Jimmy, about the business. Robert still had his shares and if things were that bad then he felt he ought to keep an eye on it.

“If all you’re going to do is gossip then you may as well.” He grins as he takes off his overalls, heading in the direction he’d seen Jimmy go. He finds him sitting on a swing in the playground.

“You alright?”

“How did you deal with Robert doing stuff behind your back? When he took no notice of what you said?”

“Shouting mostly. Is this about the haulage firm? Cain told me.”

“Charity of all people! I can’t work with her!”

“You said that about Robert once, remember?” He vividly remembered the ranting in the portacabin when Charity handed her share over. “Is this really about Charity?”

“The police charged me, Juliette is trying to take my son away and all the time Nicola’s going behind my back with Charity!”

“She hasn’t actually signed anything yet has she?”

“No…well I don’t think so but then she doesn’t tell me anything these days.”

“Can you get her to hold off for a couple of days?”

“Why?”

“Because me and Robert would be a better option than Charity.” He hadn’t even given it a thought, but seeing how distressed Jimmy was, the idea had popped into his brain. They had the money, they still had most of the proceeds from the sale of the scrapyard. He’d need to talk to Robert though. “I’m seeing him tomorrow, I could talk to him.”

“You want to buy us out?”

“Well, no. Not completely, but Robert’s still a partner so it makes sense. You wouldn’t have to deal with Charity and to be honest it’d be a bit more income for me and Robert until we know what we’re going to do. It’s up to you.”

“I need to talk to Nico.”

“Of course, and I need to talk to Robert. I’m serious though Jimmy.”

“Well, thanks.”

“You know Nicola and Robert are pretty similar aren’t they? For all I used to be mad at him when he did this kind of thing, it was usually for good reason, for us. Is that the case with Nicola? Does Charity taking over mean you’ll have money to fight for Carl? To get you a decent lawyer?” Jimmy doesn’t say anything but Aaron can tell he’s got through to him. “For everything Robert did, scamming Kim, Joe, hitting Lee, he did it for someone, to protect Vic, to try and get us money for our surrogacy. Not that you shouldn’t be angry, but if it was for good reason then maybe you can find a way to forgive her. The two of you belong together Jimmy, you know that. Don’t throw it all away.”

“I thought we did.”

“Here.” He reaches into his pocket, handing him his house key. “Go to mine, calm down. Stay as long as you like and then go and talk to her. If you need to send the kids over and they can help me keep Seb occupied when I get him from Vic’s. Don’t fight in front of them.”

“You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s what Robert would do and you know it. He’s not here so…” He shrugs, he’s not used to having heart to hearts with people, but he knows Jimmy’s been a good friend to Robert and that he’d want him to help.

“Is he getting on ok…I mean…”

“As well as he can. You know, I think he’d really like to see you, see someone other than me.”

“I doubt that.”

“I’ll ask him tonight and then we can talk tomorrow. If we do this he’ll want to talk to you anyway and he might be more help than me, the business, Carl…the police.”

“You’d give up a visit for me?”

“I’m not saying I won’t miss him, but yeah, if it’ll help. You and Nicola were two of the few people who didn’t treat him differently after…who haven’t tried to tell us what to do. You’re his friend, and if he can help then he’ll want to. Like I say, go back to mine, have a cuppa and calm down. It’ll help.”

Jimmy just nods and he watches him go, staying on the swing for a little bit longer, enjoying the sunshine even if it was still cold.

He’s just about ready to go back to work when he hears footsteps and he sighs when he looks up he finds Paddy standing there.

“I’m busy.” He gets up and starts walking away.

“You don’t look it. I thought you would’ve been over to see us by now.” That makes him stop, turning back and just staring at Paddy.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No. You have a baby sister Aaron.”

“Which no one told me about.”

“We couldn’t just pop in. We didn’t know where you were.”

“I had my phone and when I ditched that Cain knew how to contact us. I text Mum at Christmas and got no reply. You obviously didn’t try that hard.”

“Why do you always have to make things so difficult. You broke your Mum’s heart leaving like that. You’re not a teenager anymore Aaron, running off because you can’t get your own way all the time.”

“My own way? What part of this is me getting my own way? Can you even hear yourself.”

“Aaron…”

“No. You wanted to talk so you’re going to listen. All I wanted was the support of my parents, for them to understand that I couldn’t let my husband go, that it would break me if I did. I thought they would understand that. I can’t believe how wrong I was.”

“Now wait a minute, it wasn’t like that.”

“No? What was it like then? First Mum, using the baby as emotional blackmail to stop me leaving, and you know what I got that, I really did, after everything with Grace I understood. But you, I won’t ever understand what you did.”

“It was for your own good.”

“What was? Locking me in my own home?” Paddy just opens his mouth. “Because it wasn’t just that. That house, that was the one place, the only place I have ever really felt safe. It took me until I was twenty five to have a place where I didn’t have to hide or I didn’t feel like I had to be ready to run, and you know who gave me that? Robert. The man you seem to hate so much. He made me feel safe, he made me a home. You took that and you ruined it.” He starts to walk away but he stops. “And you know what’s worse? According to you, he’s the bad guy. You should look in the mirror.”

This time he does walk away, head down, hands stuffed in his pockets. He waves at Cain, a quick nod of the head in Paddy’s direction tells him everything and Cain nods back. There’s only one thing that will calm him down right now and it’s not work.

“Aaron! Wait. You can’t just walk off like that. You’re not even letting me explain.”

“Because there isn’t anything you can say to make this better. I told you I wouldn’t forgive you but you went ahead anyway. There’s no excuse for locking me in, none at all.” He sighs. “I will always be grateful to you for being there when I came out, when I…” His eyes flick to the garage, memories swirling around, “But that doesn’t give you the excuse to treat me like you did. I’m not that kid anymore. Just stay away from us.”

He doesn’t stop this time, not when he tries to grab his arm, not when he calls his name, he just carries on walking until he reaches Vic’s, letting himself in, resting against the door when he’s closed it, letting the sounds of Seb and Harry playing in the living room calm him down.

————

“You want to buy them out?”

“It was just an idea.”

“Aaron…last week you were talking about moving away.” Robert looks and sounds exhausted and he hates how he’s adding more stress but the more he thinks about it the more the idea is a good one.

“There’s nothing stopping us doing that. You didn’t see him Rob, I’ve never seen Jimmy looking like that, like there was nothing left to hope for. They’re our friends.”

“I know but…”

“I’m still happy to move, but you’re here for months yet, and then on licence so we can’t go anywhere right away. I’m not exactly making fistfuls of money at the garage. This way we get a little more coming in, and when you get out you have a job. That’ll look good for you.”

“Ok. So, say we do this, what if we want to move away in the future, what do we do for money?”

“I’ve been thinking about that too.”

“Of course you have.” There’s something in his voice. “I feel like everything is moving on without me.”

“It’s not, I swear. I’m still here, I’m just waiting for the day you come home you know that, but our friends need our help. Look, just talk to Jimmy, the two of you know more about this than me, but would you really subject them to Charity?” Robert chuckles at that and he takes his hand. “I said he could visit, you can work it all out.”

“You don’t want to visit?”

“No. That’s not what I said. Of course I do, but, and don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s feeling really guilty about Paul, although goodness knows why from what I heard. I just thought that you could probably help him with that more than me.”

“What do you mean?” He frowns at him and pulls his hands away. “Katie?”

“No! I was talking about Max. You told me how guilty you felt, even though there wasn’t anything you could’ve done to get him out. I think Jimmy’s feeling like that. One visit, and you can bet I’ll be counting down the days until the next one.”

“Hmm, ok. You remember me talking about Max?”

“Of course I do.”

“You know, I think he was the first real mate I had in the village, someone I knew I could rely on. We were leaving together. He hated the village as much as I did.”

“Ever wonder what would’ve happened if the crash hadn’t happened, if you’d gone with him? Reckon you would ever have come home?”

“I don’t know. We’d both had enough of our families, maybe if I’d had him I would’ve made different choices…but if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have met you would I?”

“Nah, we would’ve found each other.”

“Oh God, I go to prison for five minutes and here you are believing in fate. Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”

“Shut up!”

“Right go on then, this grand idea of yours of what we do for money.”

“I’ll sell my half of Mill.”

“What?

“I told you before, it’s not our house anymore. I wouldn’t feel comfortable there any more you know that so it seems stupid to hold onto it.”

“But selling half a house, that’s not easy. Who’s going to buy it? Liv can’t afford it.”

“I don’t know…Cain, maybe Debbie. Even Charity when we do her out of the haulage yard. I honestly don’t care. I’d never take it from Liv but I have no need to hold onto our share if we can use it for something else.”

“She’s going to hate it.”

“Yeah. When she stops avoiding me I’ll try and talk to her, warn her, but the longer I spend in the village, the more I feel like it’s not the right place for us anymore. As soon as we can I want to get out of there.” Robert nods, he knows he feels the same. “But whatever happens, we’ll decide it together. Me and you, no one else, not any more.”

“We’re going to get through this, aren’t we?”

“Course we are.”

[365days365movies]

March 5, 2021: The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (Review)

Well, shit. That’s another 98%.

I’M NOT TRYING TO DO THIS! It’s just...this one’s also really good, and I can’t find any significant flaws in it! Except for...well, one. And it’s...the same one as Spirited Away BUT SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT!

Look, I’ll go into ore detail this time, but I really didn’t think Spirited Away was going to be matched, and...well, it was. Because this movie is stellar. It’s gorgeous, it’s tragic, it’s fantastic fantasy, and it’s genuinely just a very good movie. But I do have a little more to say this time.

Starting with the original story. You gotta go back to the 800s for this one. No missing 1 there, I’m talking the 9th century! The original story is a little different than the movie’s version, but it plays it mostly straight. The bamboo-cutter isn’t quite as gung-ho about the whole “royalty” thing, and her growth is actually faster in the original story.

Most of the other beats are the same, although some minute things differ. She actually becomes friends with the Emperor, although she definitely doesn’t get together with him. But there is a MAJOR omission in this adaptation: the elixir of immortality.

Remember that anime I was talking about, Kaguya-sama: Love is War? It has an episode where this story specifically is brought up, and the elixir of immortality is a major feature of it. See, the Elixir is actually what one needs to survive on the Moon, and the mortal Kaguya drinks it once the Celestial Parade comes to take her back. She sends some of it to the Emperor with a letter before she puts on the forget-me-robe, and then she leaves.

That’s where the movie ends, and I think that’s an amazing place for it to end, but the original story continues. Kaguya’s earthly parents become ill, and the Emperor is given the letter and elixir. In his sorrow, the dumbass writes her a letter and elixir and has his men BURN it on the highest mountaintop, sending his message to the princess. The smoke from that fire was ever-burning and immortal, and the mountain was renamed as “The Immortal Mountain”, or...

Yeah! It’s Mount Fuji! Neat, huh? Anyway, I called the Emperor a dumbass for burning the Elixir. He did it because he didn’t want to live forever without her, but DUDE! Maybe she would’ve COME BACK FOR YOU ONE DAY! But now, she’s gonna live forever, and you’re dead as shit. Buddy...think these things through.

So, yeah, that’s the difference between the two, and I actually quite like the movie’s version. Didn’t need the extra stuff with the elixir, because this didn’t need to be a love story. Instead, it’s a story that celebrates human life and life on Earth, as Kaguya’s last speech outright says. And yeah, that’s kinda beautiful. Hell, why do you think the backgrounds are so lush in this movie? Because it’s not just about Kaguya...it’s about life on Earth.

So, with that, let’s get into the Review, huh? This movie was fantastic, and I do think it deserves a Review in full. Check out all three parts of the Recap here, here, and here!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

James Caan was...not the best choice for Miyatsuki in the dub. He really clashes with the rest of the cast for me, and with the setting as well. But he’s the only performance that I’d consider bad. Not even bad, just ill-fitting! Put simply, it’s only really OK, when it isn’t outright jarring. But everybody else? Fantastic. Mary Steenburgen is arguably the best of the cast, pulling double-duty as Narrator and Mom, and that’s to say nothing bad about Chloe Grace Moretz as the Princess herself! Darren Criss, Lucy Liu, Hynden Walch, James Marsden, even Geaorge Segal and Dean Cain all do a pretty good job! I mean...fuck Dan Cain, but he did OK here.

And yeah, this is the dub cast, because I unfortunately didn’t have access to the sub. But are they good? Yeah, they’re still good. Ghibli has good dubs, what can I tell ya? Except for James Caan. That wasn’t the best choice.

Plot and Writing: 10/10

It’s fantastic. Not only is it a great adaptation of the original story, but it’s a great interpretation of it as well! It takes the original story, but gives it a new meaning as compared to the original story, and builds the screenplay from there! It’s...it’s genuinely one of the best adaptations I’ve ever seen of a story from classic mythology and folklore. Credit to Isao Takahata and Riko Sakaguchi, because they did a stellar job with this adaptation.

Can we...can we do this for other mythologies, please? I want a Paul Bunyan movie that’s actually about the value of natural wonders, or a Hercules movie about the nature of immortality through deeds, or true forgiveness for one’s actions, or...I just need more adaptations like this! This film made me want to see a change in film, and it helped to change my tastes a bit as well. And really...what better compliment can a film be given?

Directing and Cinematography: 10/10

Isao Takahata was one of Hayao Miyazaki’s contemporaries, and it FUCKING SHOWS. As does the cinematography skill of Keisuke Nakamura, because this film is...wonderful. I don’t really have anything to say. It’s just an amazingly storyboarded film. And once again, that’s closely linked to...

Production and Art Design: 10/10

The artistry is unparalleled in a lot of ways, but not specifically because of skill and detail. No, it’s the stylization of the film that sets it apart, and it’s gorgeous. Japan’s art is best known worldwide from the period of minimalist watercolor paintings they produced, and that period is well-replicated and represented in this...just genuinely gorgeous movie. The art director is Kazuo Oga, and he’s apparently, like...amazing? He’s worked on a BUTT-ton of great looking films, including many of the Ghibli films. His experience shows, even though has bee his last film he’s worked on in that capacity, so far. Which is a shame, because...I mean, come on. It’s amazing.

Music and Editing: 10/10

Joe Hisaishi. Yup. Kiki’s, Spirited Away, and this movie. He’s a goddamn musical prince, and it’s gorgeous. Not a lofi mix this time, but definitely some good background music for your life. It’s just beautiful, and I can’t recommend this music enough. 

And the editing? Toshihiko Kojima is fantastic as well, and the sound and visual editing is essentially flawless here. I just...THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS

I know, a 98% twice in a row is ridiculous...but...

Can you blame me? This movie is fantastic, and basically flawless. I’ve said all I can say about it. Well, other than to say that you need to see this movie if you haven’t already. And NOW I don’t think I’m topping this one. Watch me say that, and then the next movie’s also gonna be amazing.

Well, I’ll tempt fate. What are the odds, right? Right? Just to test that, I’m leaving Japan finally. But, that doesn’t mean I have to leave animation, right?

March 6, 2021: Wolfwalkers (2020)

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I think what I’ve learned with all of these “best year” arguments is that I like plot. My favorite times are when they actually had a story. All the little filler moments in between when they’re happy can be great and appreciated, but I like when they get real screen time with a story that makes sense to me.

It’s why I liked the affair era. And why I dropped off in August after the helicopter crash was a missed opportunity robron wise.

It’s why the abuse story is one of the pinnacles for me. Because there was a big story that they were a part of. And it was a really great story from an Aaron perspective and it was well paced and it had good people involved. And we got some of the best robron content out of it.

And then early boyfriend era was super frustrating because they stopped having a real story with a clear trajectory. Their scenes were bitty and filled with missed opportunities. There were some gems, like the funeral episode but overall it was a bit rough.

It’s why I like late 2016 overall because they had story again. Yeah I know, it involved Rebecca and I hate her because she makes zero sense as a character, but you could feel they were building to something. And it kind of made a lot of the bitty stuff earlier make more sense because they weren’t really ready for a relationship because they did need to take things slower and learn to communicate and Aaron needed to get help after all of the Gordon stuff got dredged back up and he had to relive so much trauma and he didn’t.

It’s why even though 2017 was painful in so many ways, they had a real story, however frustratingly it was told at times. And believe me, there’s a lot I still hate (mostly surrounding the way they wrote Rebecca) but from a robron perspective, revisiting their issues and breaking them down and breaking them apart so they could deal with them and come back together stronger, that was a good story.

It’s why 2018 was so frustrating to me despite the fact that some of my favorite content is from that year. Adam’s goodbye episode with Robert being Aaron’s alibi, amazing. The actual crash episode is really good. The lead up to and the reunion is excellent. The gassing week and the proposal and the lead up to the wedding are wonderful. And the two weeks about Seb leaving were great too.

But 2018 is riddled with missed opportunities and March to September overall is rough. We have the stuff with Seb coming to live with them which could have been so much more but we got like two good episodes out of it. Mostly just that lunch date with Aaron, Seb, Cain and Isaac. They separated them so much during Liv’s lead up to prison. It was so much of Robert and Seb in the background with Aaron dealing with Liv when they should have been more united about it. And that’s what made the prison visits good because they were together but then they did nothing with them supporting her after because her alcoholism story disappeared. (Cause the show does not care about Liv as a character at all). We had all the unfulfilled potential of the Joe feud (I assume because Ned decided he wanted to go). So he was involved in sending Liv to prison but then they did nothing with that. He was involved in the dumb kidnapping but not as much as he should have been. And then none of it went anywhere after that. And then of course the Lachlan story, which they should have been way more involved in but Danny was on holiday for half of it and Robert was basically tertiary and only involved via Seb via Rebecca. Considering their history, he should have been way more involved and so should Aaron. Plus, we had the soul sucking set of serious Dingle stories accompanying it with the Bails story, Grace, Sarah’s heart stuff, which meant no one could be properly involved in anyone else’s story. Also meant Aaron was barely involved in the Grace story even though he should have been. It was just kind of a mess overall.

Which leads into the frustration of early 2019 where we had the dropped Billy plot and the surrogacy that couldn’t go forward because Ryan was leaving.

But once we got to the actual exit story, despite my devastation, I really appreciated them having a real story again and I’m glad they did.

So...in conclusion, I like plot, which I guess is kind of on brand for me in a weird way. Haha.

[bakerlooandbeyond]

When Martin Freeman landed a role in what could have turned out to be just a little cult comedy show, he can never have imagined it would lead to the glittering acting career that followed.

But 18 years on from landing the role of Tim in The Office, the 47-year-old has leapt seamlessly to the big screen to star in everything from Love, Actually to, oh, just the minor part of Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit trilogy.

And on the small screen, he’s come one heck of a way, appearing in everything from Sherlock to Fargo – and now he is set to star in a new ITV drama A Confession.

Martin, who has two kids Joe, 13, and Grace, 10, with ex-partner and fellow actor Amanda Abbington, talked to BAFTA at his Life In Pictures event to look back on his career, and discusses corpsing on set, acting opposite a tennis ball and being a moody bastard...

Are your kids impressed their dad is a famous actor?

My kids don’t give a sh*t.

Do you know what they like?

The American version of The Office.

After I played Tim, I was in Love, Actually because Richard Curtis loved The Office, and I could honestly say at that point ‘I’m in a number one film in America and Britain’.

Great, I could retire on that, that’s something to tell your kids. But they don’t give a sh*t, they’re texting.

You actually auditioned for the part of Gareth and almost didn’t get cast in The Office…

I could very nearly have not been in it.

It’s a showbiz story – and I don’t know if it’s become a showbiz story because I’m an actor and therefore am a tw*t and built it up to being this, but I’m pretty sure this is really what happened – I did my reading of Gareth, and I was on my way out the door and Stephen Merchant said, ‘Can we get Martin in to read Tim? I think that might be a good thing.’

So I sat back down and read Tim and thank God I did because I wouldn’t have got cast as Gareth over Mackenzie Crook because he was so perfect for it.

We all loved Tim...

I loved him, I really loved him.

I was able to put a lot of me in him as someone who is an observer of stuff and finds things ridiculous and awkward and embarrassing a lot of the time.

Do you still hang out with Ricky Gervais?

I’ve not seen him for a long time, but he’s an amazing person. He is one of the best natural actors I’ve worked with. And if he’s not making you laugh at any given moment, life is a waste of time. Like, it’s not actually worth living unless you are convulsing in pain at something he’s just said.

Brilliant, but on the other hand really infuriating – you think, ‘Mate, this is your show, stop making everyone laugh! Deliberately corpsing me isn’t going to get the day finished because I can’t carry on if you’re making me laugh’.

It’s a pathological thing for him, I think.

Like all good actors, you started out on The Bill, didn’t you?

It ended up being good training. I didn’t know what anyone was talking about.

People would say, ‘Favour the wall,’ what?! Favour the wall? Oh, you mean walk near the wall, right?

And, ‘If you could just banana over there’. What the f**k are you talking about?! You mean walk in a curve? Right, OK.

Also, the common thing with young actors is you put them in front of the camera and they’re going to do all of their acting in one go. I was fairly bad on The Bill but the next time I was in front of the camera I knew to just do slightly less.

We bet you never thought then you’d go on to all these amazing parts, like The Hobbit and Sherlock. You weren’t sure Sherlock was going to be much of a hit, though, were you?

We made an hour-long pilot and then we were told it was going to be 90 minutes and I thought, ‘Well that’s a bad idea, it doesn’t need to be 90 minutes, that’s rubbish. Bloody BBC.’

And I’m really glad that was the decision because it made it like a film – I think that was why people were able to get behind it so much.

How was working with Benedict Cumberbatch?

Ben is very, very good at his job – he’s brilliantly cast in that role, and something happened, some little game of table tennis where we were just knocking it back and forth.

When I got into a room with him, it worked, something worked. Neither me nor Ben can take credit for that, it’s good fortune.

What was it like being in The Hobbit?

I think everyone on the set of The Hobbit films thought, ‘How is this going to work?

We’re filming in a sort of nothing space and it's going to become this Elvin kingdom.’ It is very impressive. You’re doing your bit, but you’re a little cog in a massive wheel. I walked on to the set for the first time and it was like walking into NASA, it wasn’t like a normal film set, it was very techno. But we were also shooting a lot of the time in a car park.

In the first film there’s a scene where all the dwarves and Gandalf come to Bilbo’s house, so there are about 50,000 people in my house and because we’re all small but Gandalf is taller, Ian Mckellen had to be on a separate set and they filmed us both simultaneously.

So two cameras doing exactly the same movements at exactly the same time but filming different sets. Me and the dwarves had each other to look at and a fake Gandalf, like a green tennis ball Gandalf, and Ian just had a load of green tennis balls to look at.

You find yourself in situations where you think ‘this is not what the careers officer at school had in mind’.

You spent two and a half years in New Zealand on The Hobbit. It must have been hard being away from your family?

That was a big decision for me.

All around me people were going ‘Well of course it’s a yes, of course it is.’ And I can see why they were saying that but I had two young children so it was a difficult yes. Amanda, who I was with at the time, is a brilliant actor, and it wasn’t the 1950s, I couldn’t just say ‘right you’re coming with me.’ She had her own life.

What would you say to someone who wants to be an actor?

You better be doing it because you love it, because if you don’t love it, it’s a terrible job. It’s hard to make a living at, it’s hard to even make a bad living at. Having fun is important, not taking yourself too seriously is important, as is having a thick skin. If you want to be good at something it’s really hard.

Football’s easy unless you want to be good.

After all these big roles, do you still get star struck when you meet your heroes?

Star struck is rare.

I’m not easily struck, but I did say ‘hello I’m Michael’, to Sir Michael Caine. There aren’t many of him in my mind. There are many fantastic actors but in terms of what occupies that piece of real estate in my brain, there’s not many people like him.

Are you the sort of actor who goes all method and takes it home with you?

I’m always aware when talking about acting that you’re not down a coal mine. There’s hard work and then there’s hard work. But I don’t pretend that doing it is easy.

I’m not having a tea and then ‘Oh yes love I’ll come and do the graveside scene,’ because you’ve got to get into a zone. But as soon as you call wrap on a day it’s over. I want to get out of that as soon as possible because I’ve got to go home and see kids and be a normal person.

There’s no virtue in bringing a character home with you and treating your wife like a tw*t.

I’m a fairly moody bastard anyway, so I don’t need that from work.

More on A Confession... 

[bartsugsy]

why the ‘aaron gets kidnapped’ storyline of 2018 was perfect robron content and if you don’t think so you’re objectively wrong and yes i know the definition of objective bc someone already told me

hello spoons welcome to a post i like to call ‘im right’ strap in u sausages i love u

in this post i will argue the existence and also beauty of the storyline, in the beautiful and haunting year of 2018, in which our hero aaron gets fuckin kidnapped straight off the street by some punk named sid and then our other hero robert has to go and get his husband back

it’s underrated bc it can never be rated enough and also bc some people weren’t particularly enamoured by it and i’m here to tell u why ur all incorrect

and i know this because i have a degree in correctness check it out

oNTO THE POST ABOUT WHY THIS STORYLINE IS ART

we open with robert walking down a street

technically we open with other stuff that happened before this but im getting right down to the goods i have a point to make

SO robert is walking down the street when he SUDDENLY gets a video call from aaron

and he’s like weird how aaron is video calling me right now he never does this unless it’s 2am and we’ve been separated for more than 12 hours wow

but it’s AARON TIED TO A CHAIR LOOKING SAD AND DISTRESSED 

BC SID WANTS MONEY AND EXPLOITING AARON’S RICH ASS HUSBAND IS THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT

AND FRANKLY IT WORKED SO I CAN ONLY COMMEND HIM FOR KNOWING ROBERT’S WEAKNESS 

AARON

SO ROBERT IS LIKE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET

SEES THAT HIS HUBBY LOVE OF HIS LIFE MAN OF HIS DREAMS

HAS BEEN

TAKEN

robert is not happy about this and goes to the only two people he reasonably thinks can help, cain and moira

which seems right, i think u will agree

anyway stuff happens, they dont know how to get aaron back, time is running out

and honestly

this is where beautiful thing #1 happens

1. robert isn’t willing to risk aaron’s life for the sake of money

they’ve come so far

and like ok we already knew that and frankly we knew that from the lodge days when he couldn’t kill aaron even tho he knew it would be the end of life as he knew it, with all his money and power, to let him go

bc rob isn’t really about that highfalutin murderin’ lifestyle really even tho he really does love money a whole lot

he just loves aaron more

SO ROBBO IS OUT HERE LIKE UM I’M NOT JUST GONNA

SIT AROUND

AND WAIT FOR AARON TO BE BRUTALLY MURDERED CAIN 

I’M GONNA PAY THIS MAN THE MONEY AND GET MY HUSBAND BACK BC FRANKLY THEY COULD ASK FOR THE DEED TO SATURN AND I’D FIND A WAY TO GET IT FOR THEM

so robert RUNS OFF and works out how much money he has and just so we know

PEOPLE JUST SO WE KNOW

robert does not have enough money he spent that shit on legal fees trying to save his fuckin little crime-susceptible family

so robert, priorities in order (aaron > other things), goes to the only person he knows with fuck loads of dispensible cash

his mortal enemy for the three months that the show cared about that story

joseph loseph tate

NOW JOSEPH AND ROBERT’S ANTAGONISTIC RELATIONSHIP WAS, IF U WILL RECALL, BASED 99% ON THEIR OWN FUCKING DESIRE TO BE PROUD AND/OR SMUG IN ONE ANOTHER’S GENERAL DIRECTION

SURE THEY TRIED TO FUCK ONE ANOTHER OVER

BUT MOSTLY IT ALL BOILED DOWN TO JUST WANTING TO MAKE THE OTHER LOOK LIKE A LOSER

men are so dumb oh my godddd

AND LO THIS BRINGS US TO REASON NUMBER TWO WHY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

2. robert puts aside all his fucking pride to save his husband

HE MARCHES UP TO JOE AND IS LIKE OK MAKE ME A FUCKING DEAL

JOE, BEING A LOVELESS DEMON, EXPLOITS THIS MOMENT FOR ALL HE CAN, DEMANDING BOTH ROBERT’S CUT OF HOME JAMES AND THE MILL, JUST BC HE ENJOYS THE IDEA OF BRINGING ROBERT NEEDLESSLY TO HIS KNEES AND TAKING AWAY ALL OF HIS POTENTIAL POWER

I SPENT HALF OF LAST WEEKEND WATCHING CUTTHROAT KITCHEN WITH @snowbasttien AND IF ANYTHING IT TAUGHT ME THAT MONEY IS POWER IF U KNOW HOW TO USE IT (AND THAT WHILE PEOPLE MAY COME INTO THE SHOW BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE A DOM, IF DADDY ALTON IS AROUND THEN NO ONE LEAVES A DOM) 

JOE CUTTHROAT KITCHENED THIS BITCH TO HELL

AND ROB WAS JUST LIKE

YEP

WORTH IT

THUS GIVING US THING NUMBER THREE

3. robert has spent his entire adult life fighting for jobs that give him power and being incredibly invested in his own business(es) and he gave that all up in one fucking second for aaron’s life

LOOK THIS WHOLE STORYLINE WAS ABOUT ROBERT SACRIFICING ALL OF THE SHIT HE WORKED TOWARDS FOR HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE FOR AARON’S SAFETY WITHOUT EVEN GIVING IT A SECOND THOUGHT, OR BEING RESENTFUL ABOUT IT, OR BEING UPSET ABOUT IT

HE DIDN’T CARE

ROBERT’S IDEAS OF WHAT POWER AND VALUE ARE MEAN NOTHING IN THE FACE OF WHAT AARON IS TO HIM

I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS IS IN CONTRAST TO EVERYTHING ROBERT USED TO BE

AARON CHANGED HIS WHOLE FUCKIN LIFE AND ROBERT WOULDN’T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY 

ALSO HE MADE THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY HOMELESS 

ROBERT, AARON AND TWO KIDS

WITH NO HOME

BECAUSE FRANKLY ROBERT DIDN’T STOP EVEN ONCE TO THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BEYOND ‘AARON ISN’T GOING TO DIE’ 

dumbass

i’ve said this many times before and i’ll say it again: i love aaron but the mill has a beautiful side garden and a wine fridge. 

i would have let that bitch die. 

SO ROBERT

BC HE LOVES AARON AND LITERALLY JUST WANTED HIM BACK

AND HAD NO DESIRE TO RISK NOT FINDING THE MONEY BUT INSTEAD PURSUING A SNEAKIER PLAN TO SAVE HIM

SELLS HIS ENTIRE LIFE AN D SOUL TO JOSEPH AND GOES TO FIND AARON

he looks scared but luckily cain POPS A FUCKIN SHOTGUN OUTTA NOWHERE BC OF COURSE HE FUCKING DOES

COIRA ARE REALLY OUT HERE

DOING THE MOST

COIRA WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THEMSELVES IN THIS SITUATION THAT’S FOR DAMN DIDDLY SURE

rob gets aaron back and loses his money, job and house all at once but he doesn’t even care he just wants to stand in this forest and grip onto aaron in peace and never let him go 

THE NEXT DAY aaron has discovered exactly how robert managed to get so much money together at such short notice

and he’s NOT PARTICULARLY ABOUT IT because

aaron understands that the mill is perfect

aaron values his family having a home over his own life tbh

he also loves the wine fridge

HE AND ROBERT DISCUSS THIS AND AARON IS LIKE NOPE SORT IT THE FUCK OUT ROBERT IM NOT HAVING IT

WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN

WHICH IS FRANKLY FAIR!! BUT THEN!!!!

THEN WE GET TO THE SCENE WHERE ROBERT IS SIGNING OVER HIS SHIT TO JOE 

AND AARON IS THERE

BUT HE’S NOT SAYING A DAMN WORD, HE’S JUST SITTING THERE SILENTLY IN SUPPORT OF ROBERT’S LUNACY 

BC SOMETIMES BEING MARRIED MEANS BEING A UNITED FRONT

A LIL TEAM

EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT’S HAPPENING, BUT HAVE SAID UR PEACE IN PRIVATE

SOMETIMES THAT’S A THING

JOE IS STANDING THERE BEING A SMUG AND SHIT BC HE’S WON~

AND ROBERT LOOKS MISERABLE AND READY TO SIGN AWAY HIS EVERY ASSET

AND THEN!!!!

and then joe makes a fuckin mistake

JOE LOOKS AT AARON, WHO IS SITTING IN A SILENTLY MENACING WAY PROBABLY, WATCHING THIS SHIT GO DOWN AND JOE IS LIKE

LOL IS UR DUMB ANIMAL BOYFRIEND TALK TO STUPID TO FORM SENTENCES

and like

robert ain’t about people insulting aaron in his presence 

so he fuckin just

tears that contract up right there and then

and refuses to sign the mill over to joe

LEGIT IT JUST LIKE NOPE BIG MISTAKE FUCK U

and aaron 

AARON POWER MOVE DINGLE

JUST SITS THERE SILENTLY AND SMILES 

IT’S AN ICONIC MOMENT DONT FUCK WITH ROBRON OR THEY WILL LITERALLY KILL U THANKS FOR UR TIME

ANYWAY

THIS IS WHY OBJECTIVELY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

BC IT’S ABOUT ROBERT BEING A LUNATIC FOR AARON 

AND THAT KIND OF CONTENT FOR ROBRON ADDS YEARS TO MY LIFE

YEARS

IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT THESE SCENES?

LESSER

WORTHLESS

TERRIBLE

THANKS FOR LISTENING I HOPE U APPRECIATE THAT I AM IN FACT, IN THIS AND ALL THINGS

CORRECT.

THE END XOXO

[hellyeahheroes]

Best Ongoing Team Books of 2018 - In text because I cannot make it in video

Okay, so my mic is broken, I have barely time to make it work with how many ever hours I’m working recently, so screw it. Last part of my promised list is long overdue anyway, so I’ll just drop it as a text. Apologies for this but yeah, sometimes stuff just piles up. I hope you’ll still enjoy my picks and check the 3 parts that made it to the video

Welcome to Best Books of 2018, the long-awaited final part. I’m terribly sorry it took me so, so terribly long but I had been forced to take many over hours at my day job and it just ate in my time. The rules are as before. The book must still be ongoing in 2018, even if only for a single issue. It also must have more than two issues published in two thousand eighteen. However, if a book got relaunched as effectively the same title, they count as one. This time we’re doing team books. So if you can, go check those titles out at your local store.

Number Ten: Super Sons and its continuation, Adventures of the Super Sons. Work of writers Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason with artwork by Carlo Barberi with issue twelve of the first series draw by Tyler Kirkham. Super Sons continue to be an absolute joy. The greatest asset of this story is that Jon and Damian are written as a pair of actual kids, with behavior we would find too childish with other people but appropriate with them. Which only adds charm to an already book that captures joys of being a kid and going on adventures and that embraces silver age weirdness with all kinds of strange stuff, from a bunch of alien kids idealizing Earth supervillains and modeling themselves after them to an alien versions of Cain and Abel and their House of Secret Mysteries. It is a book that you can just pick up, relax and enjoy, lose yourself in fluffy fun. Its time is limited as Adventures is just a mini but I think if there is one title on this list that is just pure escapism, bar themes touched in an issue where our heroes meet their future selves, it is this one.

Number Nine: House of Whispers by writer Nalo Hopkins and artist Domonike Stanton. One of my favorite out of the new Sandman Universe books, it tells a story of a spell gone wrong that results in the tied fate of goddess Erzulie from Vodou religion and girl named Latoya. The former ends up trapped in the Dreaming, cut from her worshippers and desperately needing to come back before she starves without worship. The latter loses her soul in the same accident and now is affected by Cotard’s delusion, a mental disorder that makes a living person believe they’re dead and worse, she can spread it like an infection. While absolutely fantastic with the weaved narrative I will say that at the time it might be even too heavy as the parts that deal with people affected by the delusion, especially Latoya and her girlfriend Maggie, often feel so outright depressing I had to put the book down and take a break. It is not a bad thing, not every comic book has to just make you feel entertained, especially not one aiming at evoking different emotions. But I need to recommend this one with a warning it is not for everyone as people who already feel down might only feel worse. Still, if you are looking for a book either heavily using themes from religion by far underexplored by literature and pop culture in a respectful way or for a book that might leave you shaken and made think, appreciate your life even, this is a book for you.

Number Eight is a tie: Justice League Dark by writer James Tynion the Fourth and artists Alvaro Martinez and Daniel Sampere as well as Justice League Odyssey by writer Joshua Williamson and artists Stjepan Sejic and Philipe Briones. Two of the new Justice League titles have their problems, I’ll admit it. The main villain in Justice League Dark comes off as invincible for the sake of it and the establishment of the Sisterhood of the Sleight hand only to destroy it rubs me the wrong way and Odyssey feels to have missed its impact moment due to delays and artist change. However, both books are still excellent in what they set to do, opening this new age in Justice League books and bringing them back to the flagship role. Be it dark atmosphere of JLD that isn’t mitigated by inclusion of either Detective Chimp or Wonder Woman, in fact it is a stroke of genius to have her confront the darker side of magic, or the outlandish space opera of Odyssey, with super likable cast playing game of cat and mouse with Darkseid himself, the books do bring new to the table and truly make the Justice League currently one of the strongest if not the strongest lines in the big two.

Number Seven: Rogue & Gambit and its continuation Mr & Mrs. X by writer Kelly Thompson and artist Pere Perez on the former and Oscar Balduza and David Lopez. I’m counting it as one book even if an important part, the wedding, took place in a different title and was fairly controversial. But Kelly Thompson has really shown that she feels the two and their relationship and uses as much of their history as possible to build on and inform said relationship. It is in how natural it comes off as, how strong their bond is but also how unafraid of testing it through their adventures Kelly Thompson is that really makes this book so unique. With the cancellation of X-Men: Red and Exiles and with how Uncanny X-Men and Age of X-Man seem in a contest who can drop more balls, this book is now the best ongoing in the X-Line and you will be doing yourself a disservice if you won’t check it out.

Number Six: Justice League by writers Scott Snyder and James Tynion the Fourth and artists Jim Cheung, Jorge Jimenez, Doug Mankhe, Mike Janin, Francis Manapul, Fazer Irving and Guillem March. This book decided to bring the Justice League back to its greatness and to my great surprise, it succeeded. Scott Snyder’s over the top imagination is a perfect fit for this title and in just a few issues he proved he is not afraid of breaking established boundaries and showing us that cosmology of DC Universe is much greater and more amazing than we might have thought, that everything we thought we know hides more secrets and there is always a new adventure right behind the corner. It asks important questions that, while not intended to be political, by Snyder’s own admission, I feel are still questions about life, a current state of the world and our expectations and ourselves. Upon seeing how flawed the world is, how flawed other people are, how flawed, in the end, we ourselves are, what is a correct course of action? Deny it and try to grind yourself into the idea of perfection you want to be even if it is impossible? Embrace your worst and care only about yourself? Or accept you have flaws, that you feel pain and trauma and realize you can still be a good person regardless? That is the theme of Justice League that makes me enjoy this book so much.

Also, they have hired Ferdinand the Minotaur to work at their cafeteria, that’s awesome.

Number Five: The Dreaming by writer Simon Spurrier and artist Bilquis Evely. The Dreaming is in peril. Dream of Endless has left his dominion, there is a hole in it through which strange things come, citizens find themselves in state of unrest and all beloved characters, from Lucien and Matthew to Merv Pumpkinhead and Eve to Cain and Abel are set on a course that will challenge them and will change them in unexpected ways, all while old faces like Glob and Brute come back and new ones like mysterious Dora and merciless Judge Gallows leave their mark on the place. The Dreaming plays with obvious political undertones but on a meta sense, it is another case of what Simon Spurrier is driven to do, to deconstruct the darker corners of comics and try to explore questions of responsibility and morality through it like he did with Legion and X-Force. This new, heavier, darker take on the Dreaming sucked me in instantly and I really hope the ride Spurrier has prepared for us is a long one.

Number Four: Exiles by writer Saladin Ahmed and artists Javier Rodrigues, Rod Reis and Joe Quinones. Exiles had another short-living comeback and it saddens me to see that it has already been cancelled, though not before qualifying on this list. I love Exiles as a series and a concept and the return with all-new cast and Blink was a welcome one. With adventures that are in equal parts fun and serious and characters with such amazing charm as a cartoon kid Wolverine or Valkyrie. What’s more is that the book had such amazing creative artwork, with Rodriguez especially giving it his all and creating some amazing visuals that truly matched increasingly crazier visions that Ahmed has weaved in front of him through the script. This was a top-notch creative team that I sure hope we’ll see them team-up once again on another project in the future. Meanwhile, while brief it it was still a pleasure to come back to this team of weirdos and outcasts hopping between dimensions, one crazier than the other.

Number Three: Wild Storm by writer Warren Ellis and artist John Davis Hunt. Now here is a book that benefits from its stated twenty four issues run. Wild Storm is a slow burn. But it is by far one of the most glorious slow burns in the history of comics. Ellis continues to create a gritty narrative that combines aliens, conspiracies, secret agencies, technological inventions and movie-like decompressed storytelling into a chilling, dark story that absolutely dominates with the atmosphere. The vision of Wildstorm Universe Ellis and Hunt created for us is absolutely captivating and the feel of the world at the verge of total war between two agencies that long time ago stopped caring for common folk, while Jacob Marlowe, Jenny Sparks, and John Lynch, each in their own way, race to stop them or deal with problems they unleash, is unlike any other. There is plain and simply no other book like this on the shelves right now and it is very unlikely there will be such a book soon after it ends.

Number Two: The Terrifics by writer Jeff Lemire and artists Ivan Reis, Evan Doc Sharner, Joe Bennett, Dale Eaglesham. Out of all New Age of Heroes Books this is undeniably the best one. A loving tribute to the original Fantastic Four stories that finds a new quality through use of characters that may fill similar archetypes but are different enough that each brings their own thing to the table, creating new dynamics that liven up known narratives while at the same time the artists manage to get creative, especially the issue that divides each page into a sort of camera following each of the four protagonists one panel per person and uniting them and dividing as they join together or split up, pushing the very boundaries of graphic storytelling as we know it. It is also a book full of warmth and joy and optimism we often do not see in books like that. It is truly a title that has a heart and imagination on its side and it is using them to their full potential.

Honorable Mentions: West Coast Avengers, Champions, Teen Titans

And our Number One is Runaways by writer Rainbow Rowell and artists Kris Anka and David Lafuente. It couldn’t be anything else. Runaways this year was plain and simply the best book on the shelves. Kris Anka’s beautiful art brings to life Rainbow Rowell amazing heart for these characters as she lets them face new challenges in their lives, creating story if teenagers at the verge of adulthood as they try to wrestle less with supervillains and more with their own fears and insecurities and this feeling of childhood and innocence lost for superhero life they never wanted, all as they try to rebuild and maintain their family. It is a story where greatest victories are not supervillain battles, which they seem to win by a fluke most of the time anyway, but to take a step forward, overcome your fear and doubt and admit to yourself that yes, you are worthy of happiness and you will be happy. In that Runaways is without a doubt the book that speaks to me the most and one I wait for every month. I cannot recommend this book enough.

So here are my final picks. I’m exhausted. I will say that recently all stuff in my life made working on the videos harder, especially now that i’m trying, against any better reason to record myself  and I might not be able to do it as regularly. I might think of reinventing the format and maybe relegate the channel to a different role in relation to my blog, which I think is by now much more popular. I still have learned a lot in that time of doing these videos and I wish to continue, maybe with a more focused vision. Thank you all for being so long with me and putting up with my nosense and rest assured, I shall return.

- Admin

[buddiebeginz]

So I’ve seen a mix of reactions to yesterdays episode but it is nice to see at least some people getting up in arms about the lack of physical affection Emmerdale are giving to Robron because I’ve been bitching about it for forever.

I made this post after the engagement.

Let me start by saying wtaf was that hug? I’ve seen homophobic straight guys hug with more affection than that. I was already annoyed that again Robron are being separated instead of facing storylines like a couple that’s newly engaged. (they’ve spent more time apart than together this year) but to top that off there was no real affection when Aaron left. Like we’re talking about Rob who was the man who couldn’t even sleep in his and Aaron’s bed when Aaron was in jail. Yet he doesn’t even kiss his husband goodbye?? 0_o And don’t give me that bs that they don’t like pda these are the same two that used to fuck in a barn where anyone could find them.

I’ve seen some people say that the only couples that Emmerdale gives a lot of physical affection to are the new ones and that’s the main reason Robron aren’t getting a lot. Or that when people complain about the lack of physical affection it’s just because we just want to see them groping each other or making out 24/7 and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

1. There is a difference in how the straight couples (and Vanity - more on that later) are written vs how Robron are and if you don’t see it you’re choosing to ignore this.

2. People brought up couples like Coira and Chaddy how they haven’t kissed recently. I just went over most of the recent episode and Coira kissed back in July and Chaddy has kissed in August.

Though Coira has barely been in any of the episodes of the past month but still kissing is not the main issue here. 

3. All of the couples outside of Robron are allowed to be causally affectionate with one another, when you see them together you know they’re a couple not just because the show says so but because there’s an intimacy there. Two people in a relationship have a certain connection and way between them that is just for them that they don’t share with anyone else. They touch and interact in a way even in a public that they don’t with anyone else. A hand on the waist or the shoulder, or they lean in closer, or they sit closer than they would if it was someone else. They also hug at times in a way they wouldn’t with anyone else.

This is the major thing that’s missing from Robron. Sure they should be kissing more and sure they should have some kind of sex life that’s referenced more than once a year but the main thing that’s missing is they’re not treated like a legitimate couple except for during special episodes. With this missing the way Emmerdale writes for Robron doesn’t add up. 

You can’t act like Robron have this amazing world shattering love for one another. A love that can over come anything, a love they would die for, a love they fell apart without, and then barely have them interact as a couple.

4.This is some of what we’re getting from the other couples and this has all been in the past month: (there was more too of course)

meanwhile from Robron:

they sit like 3 feet away during a scene that was supposed to be romantic

They sit far apart in a scene that was clearly supposed to be romantic/about sex considering they had Danny cover himself at the end of it. Meanwhile none of the other couples hot and heavy scenes are written that way. I mean Coira had a scene not too long ago where she was on Cain’s lap. Robron spent the whole scene talking about Seb. Whatever your feelings on him it made no sense that they would spend the morning after their engagement talking about him. These are two guys who should be super into each other they just got engaged again after so much turmoil and time apart. Yet none of the focus ever seems to be on just them and their feelings for each other which it should be sometimes.

There’s also been multiple times this year when things have been going on and they should have been comforting the other most especially Rob comforting Aaron during the Liv stuff or After Aaron just had been kidnapped and they just sit a million miles apart.

Juxtapose that with how much we’ve seen Joe physically comforting Debbie at the hospital.

We didn’t even get to see Aaron physically comforting Rob at the hospital after being poisoned and almost dying. And I’m sorry but this:

was not good enough not when you compare it to what all the straight couples and even Vanity are getting.

Yes even Vanity gets different treatment than Robron and this is something people have to understand. A w/w relationship is seen as 100x less threatening than a m/m one is to the networks and especially to the conservative close minded part of Emmerdale’s audience. Many people still think of being a lesbian or a bi female as a phase or they find two women together hot. Two women together is often seen as something that can boost ratings where as showing two men being affectionate can still be seen as risky. So this is I’m sure why they still show Vanity being much more causally affectionate than they ever will Robron.

You can’t say Emmerdale shows Vanity being affectionate and therefore they’re not homophobic because there’s a lot in their writing that screams homophobia. I love Emmeradale. I love Robron. But they have to do better and I don’t understand anyone who watches this show and thinks we should just be grateful for what they put on screen. The only way change happens is if people keep pointing out the problems. I’m not going to just stop complaining because it’s too negative for some of you.

Emmerdale gets A LOT of mileage out Robron and the lgbtq community by extension. They know how much attention they get with Robron and yet when it comes to actually developing them as a couple, actually showing us (not telling us) how connected they are on screen over time they don’t really put the effort in because truth be told they don’t have to. People get all excited if Robron are so much as in the same scene with one another so it makes it okay for Emmerdale to get away with just showing us the bare minimum give or take a special episode here or there. They can say look Robron fans look at all the stuff we give you meanwhile what they’re saying to the conservative fans of the show over time is it’s okay we’re not overly focusing on the m/m couple.

Emmerdale needs to do better with it’s representation. Just having lgbtq characters isn’t enough it’s how you write them and their relationships that’s important. The lgbtq community deserve better. We deserve better full fledged representation of our lives. They definitely need to do better for Robron who are at their core are an amazing couple played by an incredibly talented pair of actors. They deserve full rounded scripts where their characters can be in a more developed relationship  not just a cardboard cut out idea of what some close minded people think a gay marriage looks like.

[seanslaters]

Seen a fair bit of chat about this today so this is where I stand: I’ve liked a lot of IM’s stuff and hated a lot too.

SSW was probably the best soap episodes I’ve ever watched and it’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I loved the special episodes like Christmas and Cain’s flashback. I also really liked stories like Ashley’s dementia, Holly’s death, Emma and the beginning of the Joe Tate stuff. And I’ve ended up liking a lot of characters that I didn’t before like Tracy.

But bringing in Rebecca and the ONS were just unforgivable for me. All of the repercussions have never really landed imo. For a producer that is notorious for dragging things out, that was far too rushed. I think the intention for a lot of stories is good (splitting up Robron to work on them individually) but execution is quite piss poor. Although controversially I think the Robron stuff we have right now, while not especially engaging is their way of resting the characters which is probably a good thing long term.

Basically all of the cheating plots have just left a bad taste in my mouth and made me dislike characters I used to like (see David and Bob). I’m just craving some organic couple drama and engaging stories to give characters when they’re actually together. I just want to see real development again instead of things being rushed or dragged out.

I was more sad when it was announced he was going because I hate change and there’s always that worry when there’s a new producer incoming. But it seems like the last few months everyone has given up. I’m ready for change.

[jenna347-blog]

SCP 100,000

SCP 100,000

Jenra(Jennifer and Lira)

Object class Euclid/Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-100,000 is contained in a standard studio-style apartment in site-17, fully furnished was allowed to have a desktop with the internet, her Nintendo switch with games, and some CBD/delta 8 THC gummies/flowers. Jennifer could leave her room and freely roam around the SCP facility as she wishes to help with the SCP foundation. Low Special containment procedures when calm. No guns or any type of weapons in 100,000 in her containment. SCP Foundation allows her to eat SCP 458, including having anything in the break room if she pleases, that includes SCP Coffee Machine.

Description: SCP 100,000 contains with 2 anomalies, 10,000-a and 100,000-b. 100,000-A appears to be a 37-year-old, African-American human woman but could be older than she looks, and she claims to be over 80-100. She goes by Jennifer standing at 154.94 cm(5’1”) and weighing 107.501 kg(237lbs). 100,000/b claims to be an African distant voodoo queen of unknown age, calling herself Lira who also claims to processed Jennifer, with jagged sharp teeth her eyes changed from brown to red with cat shap pubils . SCP 100000 has a tracking device on her neck just in case she tries to leave or goes into a keter or a dangerous Euclid SCPs.  

Jennifer or 10,000-a anomalies effects would be if she gets angry, scared, and/or protective she’ll blackout and Lira would come out she’ll normally attack in a defense mechanism 10000/a doesn’t know what’s going on till she snaps out of it when she does go to one of these episodes Lira(10000would brutally kill her “attackers” to a bloody pulp then eat them as well till Jennifer snaps out of it screaming in shock with slaps of meat in her mouth. That’s what she had told Dr. Bright and also told him that sometimes it’ll come out of nowhere, but in this form, she’s not a threat towards nobody.

10,000 a/b was discovered in an investigation from California-Toyko, JP in 5 months of 20--, when there was a mass gruesome murders but she was located in Japan scared with human flesh hanging half off her mouth. She went to two of the SCP researchers, telling them “I don’t know why this keeps happening please help me I know who you are. Lira keeps killing these people because I got pissed.” She basically on her knees begging for help.

Addendum 100,000: SCP-100,000 Interview transcript

<Begin Log>

Dr. Bright: walks in gives 100,000(Jennifer) a cup of coffee and some water.

Jennifer: Hey, you must be Dr. Bright? I want to thank you and your crew for finding me, you guys don’t know how much I needed someone to help me. Because I can’t do this anymore (cries), she controls me to kill others and I wouldn’t know she’s doing this till I wake up seeing other people on the ground covered in blood, not just that I’ll have a piece of meat in my mouth. You probably wanted to know where I get these strange curses right?

Dr. Bright: How did you know I was going to ask you about your effects? And yes, I would like to know when you have these issues.

Jennifer: I could read your mind because Lira tells me about you and what you had said in your mind. So, I’ll tell you when it happened to me and also my abilities, you should put that down in your paperwork Mr. Crazy man (Laughing) I heard Iris or 105 told me that. Well, it all happened when I was 36. Living my best life, just land my first 6 figured salary Software development career when I told my family when I was accepted to the position I could see my cousin getting upset, so I pulled aside tried to see what was the matter she just gave me the cold shoulder. So, fast forward to 2 years later when this happened, she wanted to say that she was sorry for acting the way she did and wanted me to come over just get our differences aside, so I did we talk for about an hour. I told her that I had to go back to my hotel in savannah, ga had to go back to Mountain View, CA she had told me that she had a gift for me because of my new position, she went to the kitchen to “get the gift” but when she came out she had the gun behind her back when I asked her what was behind her back that’s when she pulls it out the first bullet was in my left side then my right when I holding my head because of the pain then the uber driver took me to the hospital. I recovered less than 3 days my skin looked like it wasn’t injured.

Dr. Bright: You also told people that Lira's first killing was right after the hospital, but nobody believed you is that correct?

Jennifer: Yup you’re very much correct, they all thought I was beyond crazy as hell and about to lock my ass up and throw away the damn key. (Jennifer looks down in shame and started crying) Not just that she made me kill my mother oh my god. I can’t believe she’ll make me do this, she not just ripped her into shreds but also was eating her corpse as well.

Dr. Bright: I’m sorry to hear that, for your mom and cousin doing this to you. I know someone who went through the same type of death like you.

Jennifer: Yes, I know about SCP Iris or 105. That’s different, but yes it’s tragic to lose someone you care about. Maybe I and her get along so well, told her I’m not a killer, unlike those Keter class SCP. Sometimes I wish I could just get rid of her Doc, I guess it’s better than being Joe Schmo, not able to be heard or seen even though I rather have that power than not able to be awake half of the time. Not just that but able to control it half of the time it’s kind of like June Moone dealing with Enchantress but with the Hulk angry issues.

Dr. Bright: I think that’ll be all with the interview. Thank you for giving me that information about yourself.

Jennifer: You’re welcome, but I need to tell you something I don’t know if you have it in your paperwork that I can’t die by anything that kind of explains my age and why I looked so young.

Dr. Bright: I’ll add that to your profile, maybe we could experiment on you with either Mr. Fish or Cain. That’s if you want to Jennifer.

Jennifer: I would love that, and hopefully you’ll be there Doc even though you sound crazy half of the time, but you seem cool as hell. Hopefully me, you, Iris could have a 420 party in my place.

(Bright nods yes)

Interview ends.

 Experiment log: SCP 100,000 A/B, SCP 073, SCP 105, and SCP 527

MR. Fish: (Sighs) Why am I here?

Jennifer: Dr. Bright told me that he wanted us to hang out, but I didn’t know Iris was coming too.

Iris(105): Girl, that’s bright for you (laughs)

Cain: Hey Jennifer, I’m Cain nice to meet you.

Jennifer: It’s nice to meet you too Cain. (She looks at his symbol) Wow, cool cain symbol on your forehead .

(Both Iris and Mr. fish was shocked)

Iris: How did you know that’s what it meant

Jennifer: Lira tells me everything, she won’t shut the hell up for anything. (Looks up towards her forehead) Yes, I’m talking about you, unless you wanted to say high but you can’t kill them or I’ll try to snap out of it got it.

(Changes into Lira)

Lira: Finally, she’s let me free but the only problem is she’s trying to fight back my dears. (with a raspy low demon-like voice showing her ragged teeth)

Mr. Fish: Are you dangerous?

Lira: You have no idea, you demon ass fish head man, you better be glad that I only eat human flesh. SCP 105, you look very tasty

Iris: Why are you doing this to Jennifer and kill people who didn’t deserve to die.

Lira: Because it’s fun to do so, and I love human flesh. Plus People pisses off, or try to harm Jennifer

Cain: I remember that you and Jennifer can’t die, just like 1504, Able, 096, or 682.

Lira: That’s right Cain.

Dr bright: Lira can we have Jennifer back please and thank you.

Lira: (Looks at the one-way mirror). Why should? Jennifer stop that, okay I’ll turn back, but you owed me this time.

(Lira switched back to Jennifer)

Jennifer: Great you guys are okay. I didn’t want to lose you guys or anybody

Mr. Fish: (Hugs her) You won’t lose us mate, we’ll be here with you till the end.

Iris and Cain: That’s right

Jennifer: (Starts to smile) Dr. Bright is it okay for them to come to my room and smoke and eat some Delta 8 CBD stuff.

Dr. Bright: Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. I could join in as well

Experiment log ended

[aion-rsa]

Eisner Awards 2019 Predictions

https://ift.tt/2jSlSS7

Once again we try and predict this year's Eisner Awards winners. Once again, we're probably entirely wrong.

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Happy Comic-Con Eve, all! I had a whole "'Twas the night before Comic Con" bit lined up, but APPARENTLY it's considered a faux pas to reveal the location of the annual SDCC post-Eisners key party on the internet, so you'll have to just hang out here for a while as we pick over the list of nominees for comics' most prestigious awards and tell you why the books we liked most will win! And then come back after the ceremony to tell us why we were completely wrong.

Best Short Story

- “Get Naked in Barcelona,” by Steven T. Seagle and Emei Olivia Burrell, in Get Naked (Image)

- “The Ghastlygun Tinies,” by Matt Cohen and Marc Palm, in MAD Magazine #4 (DC)

- "Here I Am," by Shaun Tan, in I Feel Machine (SelfMadeHero)

“Life During Interesting Times,” by Mike Dawson (The Nib), Supply Chains,” by Peter and Maria Hoey, in Coin-Op #7 (Coin-Op Books)

- “The Talk of the Saints,” by Tom King and Jason Fabok, in Swamp Thing Winter Special (DC)

Institutional bias against webcomics will probably be enough to keep Dawson’s comic from winning, but I would probably give it to “Life During Interesting Times.” It’s a thoughtful look at the world we live in that tries to place it into historical context, simultaneously playing up the urgency of the terrible world we live in and expressing hope for the future. It’s also full of really great storytelling tricks - overlapping panels dissolving into each other telling the same story in multiple times. Dawson’s a talented storyteller who should get some recognition for his work.

Best Single Issue/One-Shot

- Beneath the Dead Oak Tree, by Emily Carroll (ShortBox)

- Black Hammer: Cthu-Louise, by Jeff Lemire and Emi Lenox (Dark Horse)

- No Better Words, by Carolyn Nowak (Silver Sprocket)

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #310, by Chip Zdarsky (Marvel)

- The Terrible Elisabeth Dumn Against the Devils In Suits, by Arabson, translated by James Robinson (IHQ Studio/ Image)

I screwed up. I read a ton of comics through my subscription services that are a couple of months behind, and because of that I didn’t read the last issue of Zdarsky’s Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man until months after it came out. It is the best Spider-Man comic I’ve ever read. It cuts to the core of why this character has endured for so long. It’s an absolutely beautiful book about how the world views Parker that made me cry at least twice, and one of those times was when I was remembering what happened in it. 

Best Continuing Series

- Batman, by Tom King et al. (DC)

Black Hammer: Age of Doom, by Jeff Lemire, Dean Ormston, and Rich Tommaso (Dark Horse) 

- Gasolina, by Sean Mackiewicz and Niko Walter (Skybound/Image)

- Giant Days, by John Allison, Max Sarin, and Julaa Madrigal (BOOM! Box)

- The Immortal Hulk, by Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, and Ruy José (Marvel)

- Runaways, by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka (Marvel)

There isn’t really a wrong choice in this category: King’s Batman is one of the best sustained runs on the character I’ve ever read; Ewing and Bennett’s Immortal Hulk is my favorite Hulk run of all time; Giant Days is a terrific slice of life YA-adjacent comic; and Rowell should be on a ton of best new comics writer shortlists (despite her being a great everything else writer).

But Lemire’s Black Hammer hits that perfect sweet spot in his work where it captures the surreal eeriness of his indie stuff with his wonderful ability to build staggering, fascinating superhero universes, and Ormston and Tommaso help make that world so rich and beautiful that it’s hard to pass Black Hammer up.

Best Limited Series

- Batman: White Knight, by Sean Murphy (DC)

- Eternity Girl, by Magdalene Visaggio and Sonny Liew (Vertigo/DC)

- Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles, by Mark Russell, Mike Feehan, and Mark Morales (DC)

Mister Miracle, by Tom King and Mitch Gerads (DC)

- X-Men: Grand Design: Second Genesis, by Ed Piskor (Marvel)

If I was placing bets on this category, I’d put a lot of money on Mister Miracle and a small but significant amount on The Snagglepuss Chronicles. I don’t understand how we lucked into a great history of the gay rights movement that’s also got a bunch of colorful Hanna Barbera animals as leads. That’s one of the most amazing accomplishments I’ve ever seen in comics.

However, Mister Miracle is the best comic I’ve bought monthly ever. It’s beautiful, ambiguous, thoughtful, methodical. It’s a masterpiece of form and function that tells a story that takes these bizarre Jack Kirby characters and uses them to tell a real story about mental health, parenthood, work, relationships and love. And it doubles as a love letter to comics history.

Best New Series

Bitter Root, by David Walker, Chuck Brown, and Sanford Greene (Image)

- Crowded, by Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, and Ted Brandt (Image)

- Gideon Falls, by Jeff Lemire and Andrea Sorrentino (Image)

- Isola, by Brenden Fletcher and Karl Kerschl (Image)

- Man-Eaters, by Chelsea Cain, Lia Miternique and Kate Niemczyk (Image)

- Skyward, by Joe Henderson and Lee Garbett (Image)

I think Walker, Brown and Greene’s Bitter Root will probably eek by. It’s so much fun - a family of monster hunters living through the Harlem Renaissance dealing with family drama and supernatural stuff. Greene is one of the best artists working in comics today, and their Power Man and Iron Fist is one of my favorite superhero books of the era because of the energy he brought to the art. 

Best Publication for Kids (ages 9–12)

- Aquicorn Cove, by Katie O'Neill (Oni)

- Be Prepared, by Vera Brosgol (First Second)

- The Cardboard Kingdom, by Chad Sell (Knopf/Random House Children’s Books)

- Crush, by Svetlana Chmakova (JY/Yen Press)

The Divided Earth, by Faith Erin Hicks (First Second)

Hicks’ The Divided Earth was one of my favorite books from last year. It’s a perfect all-ages comic: just scary enough, just heavy enough, but bright and vibrant and earnest. When we talked about this as one of our best comics of 2018, I mentioned that I can’t wait to hand this off to young family members, and I’m serious: this series is sitting on my shelf waiting for them to hit the right age.

Best Graphic Album—New

- Bad Girls, by Alex de Campi and Victor Santos (Gallery 13)

- Come Again, by Nate Powell (Top Shelf/IDW)

- Green Lantern: Earth One Vol. 1, by Corinna Bechko and Gabriel Hardman (DC)

- Homunculus, by Joe Sparrow (ShortBox)

My Heroes Have Always Been Junkies, by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips (Image) Sabrina, by Nick

- Drnaso (Drawn & Quarterly)

Green Lantern: Earth One is an outstanding Green Lantern comic, one of my favorite sci-fi books of the last decade. But Brubaker and Phillips’ Criminal comics are Eisner bait the same way that a movie about Hollywood’s golden age is Oscar bait. My Heroes Have Always Been Junkies is the same ridiculously high quality comic we’ve come to expect out of the pair, and it will almost certainly win.

Best Writer

- Alex de Campi, Bad Girls (Gallery 13); Twisted Romance (Image)

- Tom King, Batman, Mister Miracle, Heroes in Crisis, Swamp Thing Winter Special (DC)

- Jeff Lemire, Black Hammer: Age of Doom, Doctor Star & the Kingdom of Lost Tomorrows, Quantum Age(Dark Horse); Descender, Gideon Falls, Royal City (Image)

- Mark Russell, Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles, Green Lantern/Huckleberry Hound, Lex Luthor/Porky Pig (DC); Lone Ranger (Dynamite) 

- Kelly Thompson, Nancy Drew (Dynamite); Hawkeye, Jessica Jones, Mr. & Mrs. X, Rogue & Gambit, Uncanny X-Men, West Coast Avengers (Marvel)

- Chip Zdarsky, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man, Marvel Two-in-One (Marvel)

Every single writer on this list deserves to win. Zdarsky’s shift from gross-out absurdism to one of the best superhero writers in the industry should be recognized. Thompson’s Rogue & Gambit/Mr. & Mrs. X is one of the best X-Men runs in recent memory. De Campi has long been one of the best writers in the business. And King and Lemire are perennial favorites.

But if Mister Miracle starts cleaning up, I can see Russell take this category. Every comic he writes has a certain amount of shock value to it - not that the content is itself shocking, but that it even got made at all. Lex Luthor/Porky Pig is razor sharp satire of modern industry and social media, and Lone Ranger is better than it has any right to be. Russell wins this narrowly.

Best Penciller/Inker or Penciller/Inker Team

- Matías Bergara, Coda (BOOM!)

Mitch Gerads, Mister Miracle (DC) Karl Kerschl, Isola (Image)

- Sonny Liew, Eternity Girl (Vertigo/DC)

- Sean Phillips, Kill or Be Killed, My Heroes Have Always Been Junkies (Image)

- Yanick Paquette, Wonder Woman Earth One, vol. 2 (DC)

Another killer category, but I don’t see how Gerads doesn’t win. His design work, glitching panels to further the story, is so integral but so outside the norm of what you expect from superhero books, that it almost certainly will be recognized for how innovative it is.

Best Painter/Multimedia Artist (interior art)

- Lee Bermejo, Batman: Damned (DC)

- Carita Lupatelli, Izuna Book 2 (Humanoids)

Dustin Nguyen, Descender (Image) Gregory Panaccione, A Sea of Love (Magnetic/Lion Forge)

- Tony Sandoval, Watersnakes (Magnetic/Lion Forge)

Bermejo is one of the greats, but he’s probably penalized for showing too much of Batman's batarang. Nguyen is also unbelievably gifted, and try and imagine Descender with a different artist: it moves three thousand copies and nobody notices it in a sea of sci-fi/fantasy robot comics. Descender was instead regularly the most beautiful books on the stands with textured watercolors building a gorgeous universe that was at the top of my to read pile every month.

Best Coloring

- Jordie Bellaire, Batgirl, Batman (DC); The Divided Earth (First Second); Days of Hate, Dead Hand, Head Lopper, Redlands (Image); Shuri, Doctor Strange (Marvel)

Tamra Bonvillain, Alien 3 (Dark Horse); Batman, Doom Patrol (DC); Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Multiple Man (Marvel)

- Nathan Fairbairn, Batman, Batgirl, Birds of Prey, Wonder Woman Earth One, vol. 2 (DC); Die!Die!Die! (Image)

- Matt Hollingsworth, Batman: White Knight (DC): Seven to Eternity, Wytches (Image)

- Matt Wilson, Black Cloud, Paper Girls, The Wicked + The Divine (Image); The Mighty Thor, Runaways (Marvel)

This is an impossible category to handicap, but I think Bonvillain’s range wins out. Doom Patrol is so vastly different from Alien 3 or Batman, but each book’s story was greatly enhanced by her ability to match pallette to art style. Everyone here should win, but Bonvillain is doing the best work of her career and should be recognized for it.

Best Comics-Related Periodical/Journalism

- Back Issue, edited by Michael Eury (TwoMorrows)

- The Columbus Scribbler, edited by Brian Canini, Jack Wallace, Steve Steiner, and Derek Baxter 

- Comicosity, edited by Aaron Long and Matt Santori,  www.comicosity.com

- LAAB Magazine #0: Dark Matter, edited by Ronald Wimberley and Josh O’Neill (Beehive Books)

- PanelxPanel magazine, edited by Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou

We're big fans of the work done by Michael Eury on Back Issue, and TwoMorrows continues to be a delightful resource for fans of any era of comics.

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Jul 14, 2019

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[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

micah (Micah Cohen, managing editor): Hey, everyone! Our politics editor, Sarah Frostenson, is on vacation this week, so you’re stuck with me as your chat moderator. (Don’t bother complaining — I’ll edit any and all complaints out.)

For today, we’re going to debate what the best historical comparison is for most of the major Democratic presidential candidates. This was inspired by a few recent articles along the lines of “[INSERT 2020 Candidate] Is The [Insert Past Candidate] Of 2020.” (See here and here, for example).

So let’s just work our way down the polling charts, beginning with the leader:

Sound good?

geoffrey.skelley (Geoffrey Skelley, elections analyst): Yes, sounds like a lot of fun

julia_azari (Julia Azari, political science professor at Marquette University and FiveThirtyEight contributor): Yes!

Do we have any ground rules? I thought through some historical comparisons who weren’t nominees, though I’m prepared to stay with winners.

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): NO. RULES.

This is electoral Thunderdome.

micah: Yeah, they don’t have to be nominees.

julia_azari: Excellent.

micah: OK, let’s start with former Vice President Joe Biden.

Friend-of-the-site David Byler over at The Washington Post compared him with Mitt Romney. Anyone wanna make that case — or another?

geoffrey.skelley: The Romney comparison is quite apt, but for me, Walter Mondale sticks out as another good comparison. In 1984, he was a former VP running as the front-runner but had a challenging time winning the nomination against Gary Hart and Jesse Jackson. He had to go all the way to the convention to clinch it, which maybe could happen this time too …

nrakich: I’m a David Byler stan, and I thought his analysis was right on the nose. Like Romney, Biden is a strong, but not dominant, polling leader. Like there was among Republicans in 2012, there appears to be a healthy appetite among Democrats in 2020 for a nominee who isn’t the polling front-runner. (In 2012, that manifested itself in how seemingly every candidate, from Rick Perry to Herman Cain, had a “moment” or a period in which they surged in the polls. That looks like it could happen among Democrats in 2020, too — Pete Buttigieg may have already had his “moment.”)

But ultimately, in 2012, the GOP went with the “safe” choice in Romney. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Democrats in 2020 ultimately went with the “safe” choice in Biden, too.

julia_azari: I have a few for Biden: Harry Truman, Theodore Roosevelt, James Blaine.

micah: OK, so the Mondale and Romney comparisons are relatively good for Biden — they both won.

Julia, wanna tell us more about those others?

julia_azari: Yeah, I second being both a Byler fan, and I liked the Romney analysis. And Jonathan Bernstein’s bit about Mondale this morning.

None of mine are quite right, but I think they offer different ways to think about Biden. I thought of Truman and Roosevelt because of the vice presidency angle, first off. For the Truman comparison, I guess part of it was that people sort of struggled to pin down his exact commitments and beliefs. Was he Southern? Aligned with Northerners? Truly liberal on civil rights? Just being strategic?

micah: Yeah, Biden has a bit of that going on. What exactly is his pitch? Well, it’s hard to say.

julia_azari: And I see some of that lack of a clear platform in Biden’s candidacy, and he also has a similar sort of potential path to victory to Truman in the nomination process, where there are factions opposed but he still pulls it out.

OK, just one thing about Roosevelt — he and Biden had/have “wild card” reputations.

geoffrey.skelley: I’m really here for the James Blaine comparison.

nrakich: Both have the initials JB, Geoffrey. #illuminati

julia_azari: Blaine sought the Republican nomination when the party was pretty divided on process issues — civil service reform and how to treat the South post-Reconstruction, for example. And Blaine sorta tried to carve a middle course as the leader of a group that wanted to seek out the party middle ground on this stuff.

micah: At the risk of stepping on a piece Geoff is working on: Are there historical comps for Biden in terms of the polling — near-universal name recognition, really good favorable ratings, clear-but-not-overwhelming horse-race leader — who failed to win the nomination?

geoffrey.skelley: Ed Muskie comes to mind. He is interesting because he won the New Hampshire primary in 1972 — and the Iowa caucuses, though Iowa wasn’t a big deal quite yet — but still lost the nomination in part because he failed to meet the new expectations game by not doing as well as anticipated. It was also the first race after changes had been made to the nomination process, so everyone was adjusting to the new rules that broadened participation — like requiring state parties to advertise delegate selection events in advance — and the new realities of campaigning for primary and caucus votes and delegates, rather than focusing as much on backroom support.

nrakich: I think Hillary Clinton in 2008 is the bad-case comp for Biden.

julia_azari: Hillary Clinton in 2008.

micah: Jinx!

geoffrey.skelley: Yes, also a good one.

nrakich: She was a universally known name, closely tied to the previous Democratic administration, started off with polling numbers in the 30s. But she struggled to amass majority support, and the rest of the party coalesced around Barack Obama.

I’m not sure I buy that there’s an anti-Biden majority out there, for reasons discussed in last week’s chat. But that’s at least a plausible path to a Biden loss.

micah: On Clinton, it sorta seemed like a candidate better-suited to the moment came along (Obama). That does seem like a danger for Biden.

nrakich: Yep, that could certainly be the case in 2020. Although I think “better-suited to the moment” is kind of a retrospective label — i.e., we don’t know that until it happens, and then it seems obvious.

micah: Yeah. Obama was also … a once-in-a-generation political talent.

The Muskie vs. Clinton bad-case comps are interesting in terms of how it could go wrong for him.

OK, anything else on Biden?

…

Next up: Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders!

julia_azari: Al Smith (the Democratic nominee in 1928).

Smith is probably best-known for being the first Catholic nominee, and there’s a bit of a parallel since Sanders would be the first Jewish nominee (and the first nonreligious nominee, but we can debate that another time).

But the more important point, IMO, is that he represented a pretty distinct facet of the party. He was “wet” (anti-Prohibition), and there was very much disagreement on that issue. He was also connected to old-style machine politics as the party was moving in a different direction.

Sanders is obviously not a machine politician, but what I mean is that he’s very much tied to a particular wing/perspective in the party.

geoffrey.skelley: George McGovern in 1972 is an obvious choice. McGovern was seen as too liberal by many in his party, won his party’s nomination despite narrowly losing the national primary vote, and had extremely committed supporters who helped him win a bunch of delegates from caucus-convention states (which won’t be as open to Sanders, with many caucus states moving to primaries in 2020).

nrakich: I was gonna say Eugene McCarthy in 1968. He was an activisty (at the time, that meant anti-war) candidate who put a stronger-than-expected shock into the establishment (which went ahead and picked the last Democratic VP, Hubert Humphrey, at the convention anyway).

I mean, doesn’t this (from an NPR retrospective on McCarthy in 2005) sound like Sanders in 2016?

“Humphrey won the Democratic presidential nomination, leaving Eugene McCarthy to pick up a bullhorn outside the Hilton Hotel in Chicago to speak to his youthful admirers and supporters.”

But actually, on that score, I kinda think that the best comp for Bernie in 2020 is … Bernie in 2016. He’s kind of his own political animal.

micah: I’ve been surprised by how much Sanders has stuck to the script he followed in 2016.

nrakich: Right. It’s almost the same campaign.

micah: Anyway, one major theme here seems to be the (so far, at least) factional nature of Sanders’s bid.

nrakich: He’s an unprecedented figure in many ways. Openly (Democratic) socialist. Independent trying to win a party’s nomination. Has that ever happened before, Julia? At least in a major way?

julia_azari: Not in a major way.

geoffrey.skelley: Wendell Willkie, the Republican nominee in 1940, might be a weirdly apt comparison in terms of coming from outside the party establishment.

julia_azari: I mean, Eisenhower was drafted by both parties.

The idea of an independent coming in and imposing themselves on a party establishment — it’s hard to exaggerate how much parties used to be designed to prevent that. I wrote a piece about it in late 2015 that I’ll dig up.

nrakich: I don’t think it’s the same as Willkie or Eisenhower, though. Sanders is an elected independent. Those guys joined a political party when they decided to enter politics.

julia_azari: No, not the same at all. Eisenhower is also a unique figure, but that’s another chat. Micah’s going to kill me.

micah: This is what we’re here for! LOL

What’s the best-case comp for Sanders?

julia_azari: I mean, Smith won the nomination …

nrakich: So did McGovern. But neither became president.

julia_azari: President Trump?

(ducks away from everyone on Twitter)

(and all my students)

(and about half my friends)

micah: It is Trump, right?

julia_azari: I think so.

geoffrey.skelley: Trump is an excellent pick for best case. Capture party, win nomination and win the presidency.

nrakich: Yep, and take advantage of a divided establishment to do so.

geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, the Democratic establishment is not necessarily that divided right now. But if Biden fades in the polls, you could see even more of a struggle to coalesce around one candidate with such a crowded field full of big names.

julia_azari: I’ll get to this later in a much different context, but the last person who made people go, “holy shit, really that person?” and then became president was Ronald Reagan. Both because he was seen as extreme by some and unserious by some. But he won a national majority in the popular vote twice.

nrakich:

micah: Wait, so it’s Sanders as Reagan?

I

that!!!

You also have the ran and lost and ran again angle. And people took him (Reagan and Sanders) more seriously the second time.

julia_azari: And the conflict between party factions that revolves around extremes and ideology: The Smith comparison is about a very specific issue position and faction; on the other hand, moderates thought Reagan was too extreme, and moderates think Sanders is too extreme.

micah: OK, coming up next: California Sen. Kamala Harris!

geoffrey.skelley: Let me just go ahead and jump in with Marco Rubio in 2016. Seems strong on paper but never pans out.

julia_azari: I got two for Harris: James K. Polk and FDR. And, yeah, both sorta follow the same logic as Rubio.

geoffrey.skelley: Re: FDR — Harris is going to come back a lot stronger in about 12 years if she doesn’t win this time? Just thinking of his vice presidential bid in 1920.

julia_azari: Polk: No one’s favorite. Good politician. Affiliation with last big name Democrat (Andrew Jackson — Polk was in the House then; for Harris, I’m thinking about her connection with Obama). Had appeal for different factions of the party.

And like FDR, Harris has established herself as a solid liberal within the party. But also like FDR, she has a pragmatic side.

micah: How much does Harris being the first major, major black woman to emerge make historical comparisons more tricky?

nrakich: But she’s not the first major potentially boundary-breaking candidate.

In that vein, my best-case scenario for Harris is Obama in 2008. Unites a diverse coalition, is seen as symbolically turning the page on the incumbent Republican president, pretty strong orator.

My bad-case scenario for Harris is kind of a weird one: Mike Huckabee in 2008. Kind of a happy warrior, wins a bunch of Southern states but can’t quite seal the deal.

julia_azari: That’s a solid comparison too, I think.

BTW, I said on television that I thought Huckabee would be the 2008 Republican nominee.

micah: Do you have a link to that?!

julia_azari: No.

micah: lol

NEXT!!!!!

Sen. Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts.

julia_azari: So this is where I was going to make the Reagan comparison.

nrakich: I’m bullish on Warren’s chances, so my first comp for her is a pretty good one: John McCain in 2008. He trailed in the polls for much of 2007 but remained a respected and well-liked figure in the party (as Warren is), so he was well-positioned. Once voting started, people went for a name they trusted.

geoffrey.skelley: John Kerry in 2004? Not really the out-and-out leader through much of the year before, also from Massachusetts, but then wins Iowa and New Hampshire and runs away with the nomination.

nrakich: That was going to be my second choice, Geoffrey! (I am probably too bullish on Warren.)

julia_azari: OK, so someone who is sort of the carrier of a major message within the party, who reflects concentrated beliefs among party activists and core voters and is met with some skepticism by moderates in the establishment … I have another one that’s gonna get me so much hate mail: Sen. Robert Taft, who ran for the Republican nomination in 1952 as a conservative Republican against Eisenhower.

geoffrey.skelley: Oh, Bob Taft — that’s good.

julia_azari: I spent some time with his papers at the Library of Congress this spring, and I found a ton of letters/telegrams to Taft and his campaign managers that were like, “I love your ideas and commitment, but I doubt you’re electable.”

nrakich: That’s amazing, Julia.

geoffrey.skelley: Warren could be “Ms. Democrat” in the same way that Taft was “Mr. Republican.”

micah: OK, so best case for Warren is Reagan or McCain. Worst is Taft? Or maybe Sanders in 2016?

Wait — Julia, did you mean Reagan in 1976 or in 1980?

nrakich: Depends how it works out!

julia_azari: I guess either one? That’s not helpful, I realize, but I think the dynamics are similar.

In 1980, you had an unpopular incumbent from the other party, which is maybe a more clear comparison for 2020. And in 1976, the Democrats were challenging an incumbent under weird circumstances. (It was right after Watergate.)

micah: Next!!! This should be an interesting one: Beto O’Rourke.

geoffrey.skelley: I tried to find decent presidential primary performances by House or former House members, and here’s what I came up with: Mo Udall.

julia_azari: All my O’Rourke comparisons suck.

nrakich: I have always thought O’Rourke was too funny to be president.

geoffrey.skelley: Udall probably would’ve been a solid bet to go viral in the mid-1970s.

nrakich: Best Udall quote (which may not be appropriate for a chat): “I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus. On a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.”

julia_azari: How about JFK or George W. Bush? OK, you are minimally qualified, good at articulating certain ideas and rich. And that’s enough to unify a party even if it leaves certain factions seething and/or unsatisfied.

nrakich: Yeah, JFK is definitely the best-case comp for O’Rourke.

One that I was toying with was John Edwards in 2008. Young, attractive candidate with lots of buzz from his previous election.

micah: That’s our headline: Beto Is Either JFK Or Mo Udall.

OK, we’re picking up the pace!

South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg.

geoffrey.skelley: Well, the worst case for Buttigieg is Larry Agran, but I think we can all agree that Buttigieg is doing a lot better than the Irvine, California, mayor ever did in the 1992 Democratic primary.

julia_azari: I already wrote my Buttigieg take: “Is Pete Buttigieg the next Jimmy Carter?”

His “we can transcend politics” outsider schtick is pure Carter. I have the hate mail to prove it.

nrakich: Yeah, I think Julia’s Carter comparison nails it.

micah: Julia, that might be the most poli-sci dek ever: “He sounds a lot more disjunctive than transformative.”

geoffrey.skelley: Carter is certainly the best-case scenario for Buttigieg — President Pete.

nrakich: What about Newt Gingrich in 2012? He tried to be the intellectual in that race — remember how he kept bragging about being a historian? Plus, Gingrich had a “moment”/bump, like Buttigieg has already had.

julia_azari: Yeah that’s a good one — although Gingrich had a deep history in the party while Buttigieg is a newcomer.

But all of these comparisons break down on scrutiny, so don’t mind me.

geoffrey.skelley: Gingrich also polled as high as 35 percent during his surge in late 2011, while Buttigieg has been lucky to break 10 percent. But I can see it.

micah: There also may be a 2012 Michele Bachmann comparison to make. Maybe not her or Gingrich specifically, but the surged-and-went-nowhere path is certainly possible for Buttigieg.

geoffrey.skelley: With a strong play in Iowa that fell flat by the end.

micah: Cory Booker!

The most optimistic comparison, which our colleage Perry made in Booker’s theory of the case, is Obama. As Perry wrote,

“A charismatic, liberal-but-not-super-liberal black man is running for president. He has degrees from two of America’s most prestigious universities. He was a community organizer before serving in elected office. He was touted very early in his career as the potential first black president. He served a stint in local government before becoming one of the very few African-Americans ever elected to the U.S. Senate. And he is running on a message of optimism.”

geoffrey.skelley: That’s sort of the best-case situation for him.

nrakich: But maybe it should be someone less famous from a previous election, given that Booker is not polling super great.

julia_azari: Yeah. Like I kinda keep thinking of Hubert Humphrey’s presidential bids. Pre-1968. Or like peripheral presidential eligibility, not even really bids, I guess.

micah: Here’s a weird one: John Kasich in 2016. At least in the positive tone and that he may not really catch on.

nrakich: Maybe Mo Udall works here too. Booker is funny!

geoffrey.skelley: That feels pretty Kasich-esque.

Henry “Scoop” Jackson crossed my mind as a Democratic senator who seemed to have a lot of potential but struggled to take off in both the 1972 and 1976 presidential races. Though Jackson won the Massachusetts and New York primaries in 1976 but didn’t win the nomination.

nrakich: Can we end with a lightning round with some of the lower-tier candidates??

micah: Why doesn’t everyone give everyone else they did?

nrakich:

Tulsi Gabbard: Dennis Kucinich in 2004. Stays in the race a long time promoting a “peace” platform, wins a decent chunk (~15 percent) in late primaries.

John Delaney: Chris Dodd in 2008. Goes all in on an early-state strategy, practically moves to Iowa and gets nothing to show for it.

Mike Gravel: Mike Gravel in 2008.

geoffrey.skelley: Chris Dodd is a great comp for Delaney. Dodd moved his family to Iowa and enrolled his kids in school there.

julia_azari: Haha. I wore myself out with the historical stuff and didn’t get to the bottom of my list.

geoffrey.skelley:

John Hickenlooper or Steve Bullock could be Bruce Babbitt in 1988. Western governor who didn’t take off.

Amy Klobuchar as Paul Simon — the Illinois senator, not the singer — in 1988. Midwestern, had potential but never shot to the lead.

Jay Inslee as Bill Richardson in 2008. Lot of federal experience, western governor.

And maybe my favorite — Bill de Blasio as John Lindsay, another liberal New York mayor who ran for president. Honestly, that’d be an OK outcome for de Blasio. Lindsay actually did well in a few contests in 1972 — second place in the early Arizona caucus, for example — and I have to say that it’s hard to see de Blasio winning much of anything right now.

julia_azari: Those are good.

micah: OK, to close: Which comp are you most confident in? (Or just proud of/think is fun?)

julia_azari: The Sanders-Reagan one came out of the blue, and I kind of like it. And also Buttigieg-Carter, if I can flog my piece on my other blog again.

geoffrey.skelley: I think Mondale-Biden and Sanders-McGovern comparisons are pretty reasonable, though it’s very early. I’m a fan of Nathaniel’s Kucinich-Gabbard comp — makes a lot of sense. Iconoclastic types.

Also Dodd-Delaney. That one made me laugh the most.

nrakich: I can’t choose between my children, Micah.

micah: CHOOSE, NATHANIEL!

nrakich: I like the Buttigieg-Carter comparison, except I don’t really think he’ll end up winning the nomination. I think the most likely scenario to come true right now is Biden-Romney, to be honest. (Well done, David!)

[candy-corps]

Something Familiar

@mygardenofmuses​

“Well, at first I came with my sibling to find Dae. We did find him, but Dae had ties to this universe - and eventually, my sibling Joe got a reason to stay here as well. I visited home for Christmas, and I came back to check up on them.” Lou explained, and took his hand.

“There’s people still around… Come with me, there’s an alley next to the hotel. We can talk there, if the light hurts your eyes.”

That child really knew about him. "I wear contacts" Bruce explained with a slight frown. "It's all good. You should take care of that though" he reminded Lou, meaning his knee.

"I'll be OK. I'm tough, and the hotel got an elevator. I'll be fine." Lou assured him and clapped his hands. He was actually excited to be there with him. "I'm so glad to meet you! I mean, the old you is great, but you're great as well!"

"Well, thank you." Bruce had to laugh.

"And you two are so different. The other you didn't talk much. I thought he was just shy. But maybe it's just his personality. People is different in every verse." Lou commented, and rubbed gently his knee. "You know, you're right... I gotta 

"Is your sibling there to take care of you?" Bruce wondered. He was glad thst the little one listened to him. He'd escort him to the room at least, Bruce decided and stepped up.

"Yes, they should be there now." Lou nodded, rubbing his arms. It was still cold outside, and he could feel it. "Can you escort me there, please?"

"That was the plan" Bruce assured. "Any friend of Dae is mine." It should go without saying. He was curious about this 'Joe', too.

"Thank you. I'm sure Joe will appreciate having a chance to meet you again." A playful grin appeared in the kid's lips.  "They admire you, I think.  But Joe is a bit shy to admit it."

"Again" Bruce repeated. It was strange to meet someone again he's never seen before. "I'm a little bit nervous, too." Bruce let the small one take the lead with little idea where to go himself.

Lou led him to the hotel's entrance. He pushed and held the door open for him.  "No ned to be nervous! Joe is the biggest dork, promise. It's gonna be alright."

"When you say so." Yeah really. He trusted that boy. Otherwise he'd not set foot in that hotel.

Lou looked around. Fortunately at those hours the hotel staff was busy in the cafeteria, so no one was there. "Let's go to the elevator. We'll get there sooner."

He didn't like elevators, but ... "Okay."

"Thank you. We'll get faster that way." Lou answered, pulling him toward the elevator by the hand. "With some luck you'll have a chance to meet a little bit of my family, too."

"I just want to know you're safe" Bruce answered., following him in the elevator. His ears were up in alert and scanning everything and everyone, just to make sure... Until they couldn't anymore. The tiny space in the elevator dampened his abilities.

Lou pressed the button that would lead them to the floor where their rooms were located.  " I will be. I have a hero here with me, after all!"

That lifted Bruce' spirits. He smiled a little, raised his wing and put it on Lou's head to give him a pat. The elevator starting to move startled him just a little, but ... it would be alright. Bruce held his breath, his gaze locked on the door.

Lou laughed and petted gently his wing. "Your wings are so cool. Wish I had some, too!"

"Well, I can't figure what it's like to be without" Bruce admit. He removed and lowered it again so Loud could see when he wanted.

Lou examined his wings with curiosity. He wasn't an inventor, so he couldn't build anything like this. But he could admire them.  When Bruce said that, Lou pursed his lips a little. "You gotta be careful saying that out loud! Who knows if a Magic Anon is listening! What if one of those turned you into a human being? You wouldn't be able to fly!"

"Oh, I got through that already" Bruce admit - his wing making a motion as if to wave it off while his hands were in his pockets, actually. He stiffened as the elevator came to a halt.

"You did? How was it?" Lou asked, feeling curious. Every time he heard stories about Bruce, it was like a big adventure. A big adventure with a real person he admired! Usually he heard those stories from Joe, but hearing from the breat bat himself would be even better!

"Shoe's were weird" Bruce remembered. He inched closer to Lou as the metallic doors opened, just for the slight chance there was a threat on the other side now.

"Yeah, they can be. Especially Joe's. But don't worry, we are safe here, see?" Lou pointed to a security camera placed in one side of the corridor. "If we were in trouble, the camera would notice it. Now..." he beckoned him to follow his lead. "Our room is over here. Please follow me."

Bruce' gaze followed the direction that Lou pointed at. Camera, indeed. As long as there were friends sitting on the other side, that would be okay. But when not ...

Maybe he shouldn't think about this right now. He looked to the left and right, his ears moving as his hearing worked better again. He followed the child.

The door wasn't that far off. Lou took out a key from his pocket, and used it to open the door. "Joe! Shred! I'm home!" he announced, looking around. "And I brought a guest!"

Lou seemed to know the way from here. Bruce didn't follow in but stayed at the door, his gaze still searching the aisle for any threat - that wasn't there, of course. There was no sound here - he was just being nervous, was all.

"...Looks like they haven't arrived home yet." he mumbled, rubbing his chin. "Maybe they went to eat dinner. They often do that at these hours. But that's OK, we can wait for them here. Want a snack?"

A new environment? And staying for longer? Bruce grit his teeth, but did follow Lou in.

When he looked up, Lou noticed his guest didn't seem to feel too comfortable. "Are you OK? You look... a bit nervous." he mumbled, trying to soften up his words. It wasn't something did often - but he could do it for him. This was one of his idols, after all!

"Oh, don't ... Don't worry about it" Bruce said, checking where Loud brought him here. His hand stayed on the handle for yet another second; then he shut the door behind them.

"I have some candy in my room, if you want?" he suggested with a little smile. Lou just had remembered now how much he loved that kind of stuff. It was often mentioned in Joe's stories.

Bruce huffed. "Thank you. Should I wait until someone comes home?"

"If you want?" Lou wouldn't pressure him. He didn't Bruce to feel forced to stay.

It was then when the boy heard someone in the door. "Good evening everyone!" Joe announced with the bright grin. They were wearing a cute blue dresss with golden decorations. "Hey Lou! And... Mr Kent?"

A stranger. Bruce' wings curled around himself, which was all the greeting that the other would get for now, sadly.

Lou beamed when he saw their sibling. "Joe, look! It's Bruce, Dae's father in this universe!"

"I can tell..." Joe walked toward them, their eyes still in awe. "It's an honor to meet you here, Sir." they said, offering him their hand as a greeting.

Seemed ... friendly. Bruce had to open up again in order to stretch his own hand out and shake the others in greeting. He let go quick again and looked from Lou to the other. "It's strange you seem to know me" he admit. "I don't even know your name." He felt like he failed something.

"My name is Joseph, but everyone calls me Joe." The androginous guy smiled cheerfully. "We met the you of our universe. We grew up listening stories of how awesome of a hero you were."

"Yeah! A true badass! The wings of justice, always saving the day!" Lou cheered as well. He could be a complete fanboy someting.

"What?" That came as a surprise, but it did make Bruce smile. And ... raise another question. "W-Who are your ... parents?" he wondered, again looking at Joe.

"Ezayne Charles Raymond Moriarty and his wife, Neela Behram!" Lou smiled. He felt happy thinking of his parents. "The ones of our universe, of course.  Really sweet people. They adopted us when we were little."

"You are Ezaynes - " Yeah! "I could tell with you" he said, pointing at Joe. "And ... " Looking at Lou again ... "Yeah. As kind as him" he noticed. He found Ezayne's babies!

Joe blushed and looked down, feeling a bit shy. They smiled and nodded. "Yes, we're some of his sons. He has another four more, but they are living in our universe." they explained.

"Thank you, Mr Bruce." Lou felt happy with the praise. Deep down, he wanted to be like his father, so being compared to him sure made him very, very happy!

"Four more?" Bruce asked disbelievingly. "Damn, I need to catch up" he miuttered to himself. He was feeling way better now. "You got your feminine side from him, you know that?" he asked Joe. Oh my. All the times he told Ezayne to 'man up' and now ... look at this. He'd not do again. Ezayne's children. Perfect children.

"Catch up? How?" Joe giggled at his words. They cocked their head, a little confused. "Feminine side, dad? I don't think he has one...?"

"I think he's talking about dad's yoga classes in the gym, Joe." Lou commented. "It's that, isn't it, Mr Bruce?!"

"Among others" Bruce admit, laughing  now. Oh, he was so relieved. It was just Ezayne's children. He sighed as the laughter died down. "Did you see him yet? Ezayne of this dimension?"

"Not yet." Joe admitted. "But we met an angel for Christmas... an angel named Caín. He happened to be the me of this universe." Joe rubbed their arm, bitting their bottom lip. "He told us what happened to our Dad in this universe. It's pretty sad."

"Yeah." Lou nodded in agreement. "We haven't visited him yet because we don't know if he'd be able to take in the fact we are alive and kicking in another universe. Do you think he would?"

Bruce couldn't really follow. He tilted his head, one ear perked up high and the other leaning down in the process. Cain happened to be ... what?

Lou cocked his head as well, imitating him. "Did you hear anything weird...?"

"No, I don't think it's that. Bruce, did you understand everything we said?" Joe asked. They recognized that confused expression.

He heard the words, he just couldn't connect them in a way that made sense. "Ezayne would love to meet his children." He knew that much.

Joe smiled. "That's good to know. Maybe we should visit sometime, then."

"Yeah."Getting Ezayne's family together - it really sounded about right. He and Joe could exchange make-up tips and ... it would be just so great. "You should have gone right away. I know he's another version of your father but ... " He thought about Dae and how easy things had clicked. between them "Home's home, and a dad is a dad."

"That... Actually makes a lot of sense." Lou muttered. "Besides... I think he'd like to see how awesome we are!"

"I do like living here, but it would be nice to have some family support over here too." Joe nodded in agreement.

"See." Bruce smiled. They belonged with each other. He should call Ezayne and give him a heads-up. Bruce got out his phone, wondering if he should give him a call right away. It was already night time ... Not that it ever stopped him to call Ezayne before. Plus, this time he did have a good reason.

"Are you going to call him? Oh gosh, I should put on my best dress! And get a shower!" Joe tugged at their own cheeks. "And Shred hasn't returned yet! Aaahhh! So much to do!"

"While you panic, I'm going to take a shower myself!" Lou laughed, nudging them. Some ol' good teasing was always fun.

"Rude! You know I am the oldest! I deserve to use the shower first!" Joe whined, though deep down they were laughing as well.

"Ezayne's children" Bruce noticed, once more. He nodded at their panicked behaviour and laughed to himself. They should et this over with as soon as possible maybe, or they'd suffer a heart attack from stress. Bruce got moving to the window, pushed the speed dial on the screen and raised the phone to his ear, waiting for his friend to pick up.

In the end, Lou was the one who got to shower first, because who could resist his charm? No one, not even Joe. In the meanwhile, Joe raced to his bedroom to pick a dress and text their boyfriend, so he knew  about the nice surprise they had found tonight. They hoped he would understand.

"Hi Ezayne. I found something that belongs to you" were Bruce' first words, the second the saiyan picked up.

"Really? Is it a weapon?" Ezayne answered with a laugh. At those hours of the night he just had finished tucking in his babies for sleep, so he had some time off before he went to bed. "You know there's a window always open for you. Feel free to drop by anytime."

"I think I would need the front door tonight" he answered. "A little too big to carry. You got time, like um ... soon?"

"I got some time, yes, just put the babies in the cribs. I'm going to tell Neela. We'll meet in the front door!" Ezayne answered, curious. What could be the thing Bruce had found?

Very soon, he'd find out. For now, he was glad to go outside and unlock the door of the stone wall that sheltered the manor and its gardens from the outside world.  He could see the stars sparkling from here. What a nice night! Though it was a little cold. He returned to the manor and closed the door. Bruce could use the door bell later, it wasn't that hard to find.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Finally all caught up on the last two weeks of Emmerdale...

Human Graham is surprisingly tolerable. Don’t get me wrong, I still couldn’t really care less about him getting killed off because frankly, it’s been a long time coming. However, this more human version of him that is in casual clothes and hanging with Rhona and actually has motivations of his own, is really what his character should have been all along. Because the stuffy robot in a suit who just grunts and takes orders from Joe and then Kim, especially the Kim version, was just really not a good character. Freeing him from the hold the Tates have had over him has really made him so much better because he doesn’t have to be cryptic anymore. I’m sure there’s still another ten or so convoluted backstories in there just ready to burst out before the end, but still, it feels like he can finally speak freely for the first time in forever. I also kind of enjoy him taunting Al with the whole “don’t be me and get sucked into Kim’s web of insanity, she’ll eat you alive” thing. Cause it’s true. 

Speaking of Al, I miss the confident smarmy businessman he started out as. And I don’t know that I want him to just be the new Graham. I mean, he at least has other connections so maybe that will spare him the same fate, but we’ll see. 

New Ellis...is...strange. I’m sure he’ll just take some getting used to but in that scene where he was sort of scolding Billy, he kind of felt like the older brother and not just because he looks a lot older than Asan. They’re going to kind of have to work out a new dynamic for him and Billy. I don’t know. We’ll see how it goes. #DamnitAsan 

I do think overall though, Home Farm has improved a bit. I mean it’s still not great, but at least we’re not spending ten minutes an episode dealing with Millie going to private school as a B plot. So there’s that. And Human Graham being more of a wild card does make the Millie paternity thing marginally more interesting. I also thought Kim with Andrea after the miscarriage was pretty decent. 

I still think it would be interesting to see Kim show some real emotion though. She’s still very guarded 99% of the time. I’d love to see her actually fall for someone and have real feelings for them. I also miss her friendship with Rhona. She needed that relationship, I think. However, I did love her going round to try and bribe Wendy to leave and warning her that she better not make a wrong move. 

The Jamie/Belle stuff was interesting. I wanted that when he first showed up because they were kind of sweet together. But then they saddled him with a wife and child and he was soooo boring and whiny. So since Millie is clearly going to be Graham’s and who knows...maybe Andrea will kill him, maybe this does free Jamie up for a thing with Belle. I’m not sure her and New Ellis will work out so I’d support this. 

I still could do without Nate but just...thank god the affair is over now. He’s tolerable just trying to round up turkeys and hanging with Pete and Belle. I mean, I still do not need him to be Cain’s son and try and form a relationship with him. Because really Cain and Charity too were the last people that needed more random (adult) children. But here they are...being useless. Ryan’s barely even on the show. At least Nate is sort of doing something being a pawn for Kim. 

Moira since the affair is...well more tolerable than during the affair I suppose. I did like her chat with Vanessa. It’d be nice if they remembered they were friends more often. I just want her to lose the farm soooo badly though. She’s just stuck up there and it’s not good for her character anymore. She needs to lose the farm, really hit rock bottom and then build herself back up away from it. And then we can get a new farming family...one with plenty of members to kill off in future storylines. Haha. I did love Pete’s line “and what happened to all of the family I came here with?!”

That Danny kid is a total creep but I like seeing more of Noah and I like him trying to protect Sarah. 

The Jai/Laurel/Jimmy/Nicola/Arthur/Archie stuff has been interesting. I really do like Jai and Laurel together and I think it’s good that they’re giving them all of this angst. It’s affecting their relationship but it’s also giving them stuff to work through. And the tension between Laurel and Nicola has been good too because at least it’s giving a focus to their friendship, however fractured it is right now. And I love getting more of Nicola and Jimmy and her sticking up for him always. And poor Jimmy. He doesn’t deserve any of this. Dark!Arthur is interesting. I do think they’ve done it in a way that makes sense. And I think both kids are doing great with the story. I really hope once it all comes out though that both kids can get some help and come out of it well in the end. Poor Archie though. And with the King kids joining in too. 

Random, but I loved Nicola telling her kids not to talk to Arthur anymore or Dottie...well Dottie doesn’t really talk but don’t talk to her either. Haha. 

Lydia is still breaking my heart. Agatha is super annoying. I feel like there’s hope there somewhere for a relationship between them someday but for now she really needs to back off. I did enjoy Beth wanting to watch the village drama though. 

Speaking of village drama, the panto stuff is quite fun. It’s nice to have that story running along with the rest. I love Manpreet as the director and Liam trying to take over. I don’t really understand this whole Leyla/Liam thing. I wonder if it’s just a tease for later and a plot point so that Diane can tell Liam that Bernice probably isn’t coming back because eventually that news is going to have to come out. 

And then there’s Wendy....who sucks. Interesting watching all of it in context to the rest of the episodes. Finally got to see that Chas and Wendy conversation. It was....yeah. I mean I don’t think they meant to equate anything Aaron’s done with what a rapist has done but...they did. And they should stop. I still hate Bob being all nice to her and telling Aaron to be nicer to her. Would he tell Vic that too? I mean I guess Chas, her other cheerleader, did so who knows?! I do at least like the rest of the villagers sticking up for Victoria. I liked that Brenda and Laurel conversation about her. And Nicola and Jimmy in the pub with Charity. All of it just makes me really confused as to where they’re going with it though. I mean they have to be working towards her admitting what Lee did but when? And what does that do for the story? Ugh...blech. I just want her to go away. And as much as I thought the Luke and Aaron scenes were well done, and I’m glad he’s standing up for Victoria too, he can still go with Wendy. I just want Vic free of that family once and for all. 

Poor Aaron though. He really does not look well at all. I did notice watching it again, that he has to sit down because he’s about to pass out when Luke mentions “your husband is in prison” though. I’ll take what I can get okay. Haha. Still loving that “this is for Robert” line also. Bless. 

[mst3kproject]

301: Cave Dwellers

Have you ever gotten the feeling that they were just making these movies up as they went along?  Oh boy, have I got a story for you!

Achronus the Great One has discovered the secrets of the Geometric Nucleus, which is… um… okay, I admit it, I have no idea what it is. Lord Zor, the Darth Vader to Achronus’ Obi-Wan, wants the Nucleus for himself, so Achronus sends his daughter Mila to find the warrior Ator, the only man capable of protecting such a terrible weapon.  Mila convinces Ator and his sidekick Thong that their planet needs them, and although it only took her four hours to get to their place, the three of them spend approximately six weeks heading back, stopping for a couple of side quests while Achronus and Zor trade bullshit philosophical dialogue.  At last Zor is defeated, and Ator takes the Geometric Nucleus away and detonates it in stock footage of a 50’s nuclear test.

This movie is fucking amazing.  Nothing in it makes sense. Achronus keeps the Geometric Nucleus in a hole in the wall and Mila has never noticed this bright glowing thing before despite the fact that she lives there.  Ator apparently carries a fucking hang-glider around in his loincloth or something.  Literally all of the dialogue is nonsense, especially the stuff that comes out of Achronus’ or Zor’s mouths.  Thong never talks, although Ator makes several references to him having been right about something… I like to imagine that he actually doesn’t speak English and is doing some other quest of his own, with no idea why Ator and Mila are following him around.  They never give us the slightest idea of what the Geometric Nucleus actually is, besides it being bright and shiny and able to destroy the world if it falls into the wrong hands.  Maybe it’s the seventh infinity stone.

But I promised you a story, didn’t I?  All right – well, according to an interview with David Cain Haughton, who played Zor, Cave Dwellers is the way it is because they literally improvised the whole thing.  The actors turned up to be in some completely different caveman movie, but that got canned at the last minute.  Director Joe D’Amato still wanted to make a movie, so he decided to make one anyway, whether or not he had things like a ‘story’ or a ‘script’.  He’d already made Ator, the Fighting Eagle starring Miles O’Keefe, so since O’Keefe was there they did an Ator sequel, literally making the whole thing up as they went along!

That explains so much. It explains why we never learn what the Geometric Nucleus is – they never bothered figuring it out.  It explains why the conversations between Zor and Achronus are total nonsense – they were literally first drafts.  It explains the invisible assassins – they didn’t have any extras that day.  It explains why Ator’s love interest from the first movie dies offscreen in narration – the actress wasn’t available on such short notice.  It explains the random caveman footage in the opening – that was the only thing shot for the original movie before they were told they couldn’t make it anymore.  I could probably list every single confusing or nonsensical thing from the entire film and explain it in this way… except the hang-glider.  There’s no explaining the hang-glider.

That would be a boring review, though, and my specialty is analyzing that which defies analysis.  What is there, then, to analyze in Cave Dwellers?  The movie seems to have two intentional points that are repeated throughout, and these are explicit enough that I think D’Amato and the cast probably talked about them and agreed to use them as unifying themes.  The first is the idea that human ingenuity is both our greatest strength and the greatest threat to our survival.

This is hardly a new or unique idea – we saw basically the same thing, much better-executed, in First Spaceship on Venus.  Although Cave Dwellers is pretty explicit about this theme, it doesn’t actually put a lot of effort into it.  The Geometric Nucleus, which seems to represent human hubris and which Achronus didn’t dare to show even to Mila, never does anything and is only a MacGuffin.  Achronus states that imagination – ingenuity, the ability to invent – is as important as knowledge, which is a sentiment I’m sure any scientist or engineer worth their NaCl could get behind, but we don’t see a lot of ingenuity saving the day in this movie.  Mila is able to break out of the cell by making her own gunpowder Captain-Kirk-style, and Ator later uses gunpowder against the cavemen and during his castle flyover, but the payoff of this doesn’t seem to match the setup.  Ator and Thong throwing their cloaks over the invisible ninjas is some nice improv, but when confronted with the giant snake Ator simply fights his way out.

I think the big ‘ingenuity saves the day’ moment is supposed to be when Ator appears on his hang-glider, but I refuse to believe he built that thing in the woods in five minutes.  Achronus says he taught Ator the secret of flight, so I find it much more plausible that they’d stashed the glider in the woods somewhere earlier, and Ator just dug it up and patched a couple of holes.

The other ostensible conviction of Cave Dwellers is that all human beings are equal.  This is stated several times, both by Achronus and by Ator, and to their credit both actually act on it.  Achronus asks Zor to treat Sandor the Magician with mercy, even though Sandor is also Achronus’ enemy, and insists that Zor himself stand trial rather than letting Ator kill him outright.  Ator allows himself to be distracted by the plight of the village of Solachek, despite Mila’s objections, because the people there are no less important or in need of rescue than her father.

At the same time, Cave Dwellers presents us with a profoundly unequal world.  In the opening shots we see the titular Cave Dwellers, sitting in filthy caverns eating raw meat and killing each other for no apparent reason. Then we leave them and meet Achronus and Mila, who live in a castle and benefit from textiles, metallurgy, medicine, and literacy.  Somewhere in the middle are the people of Solachek, who seem closer to Achronus and Ator’s medieval world than the Cave Dwellers’ prehistoric one, but are still very primitive.  Exactly what the relationship is between these three levels of society is very unclear. The cavemen seem to live in isolation just because they eat anyone who intrudes, which I guess is fair enough, but what is Achronus in relation to people like the villagers?

The likeliest-seeming explanation to the historian in me is that he is a lord and they are his serfs.  That would explain who feeds Achronus and Mila, since they clearly aren’t out tilling the fields in between conducting science experiments.  Yet Achronus himself seems completely unaware of the outside world except insofar as it contains people like Zor and Ator, who are his intellectual if not always his moral equals.  He is certainly not interested in the crisis in Solachek, though it seems like something he would probably disapprove of.  The villagers never refer to any form of government except for the ‘elder’.

This failure of worldbuilding is, obviously, the sort of thing you get when you make shit up as you go instead of sitting down and thinking your story through properly.  In the film itself, however, it just makes Achronus look like a rambling old hypocrite. He claims that all men are equal, but rather than righting any of the copious wrongs going on around him, he just hangs out in his castle all day wearing a robe and mixing beakers of kool-aid. In fact, it’s possible to make a similar argument about Ator: he says no one person’s life is more important than another’s, but when he wanders off to help the people of Solachek he lets us know that they are actually his own kin – his parents were born in the village.  It’s hard to drive a lesson home in a movie when the characters who embody that lesson seem to be telling us to do as they say, not as they do.

Then there’s Zor, the villain.  David Cain Haughton claims he was meant as a parody of mustache-twirling evil and honestly, that might be the best explanation for why Zor never does anything much.  He invades Achronus’ castle and makes a couple of long-distance attempts to stop Mila and Ator, but for most of the movie we’re just watching him and Achronus stand around talking each other to death.  He claims he could torture or kill Achronus if he wanted to but doesn’t because that would be too easy – indeed it would, then the movie would be over. Nor do we ever find out what Zor plans to do with the Geometric Nucleus if and when he gets it.  I guess they couldn’t tell us that, since we would have to know what the damn thing does for it to make any sense.

Which brings us to what is possibly Cave Dwellers’ third intentional message: the anit-nuclear theme. This would be part of the thing about human ingenuity making us a danger to ourselves, and its hinted at several times. The name Geometric Nucleus and the idea that this object is a terrible weapon imply that it might be something atomic, although the fact that Achronus carries it around in a wine bucket seems to argue against it being radioactive. This actually led to a rather interesting discussion on the Sattelite of Love News episode guide for Cave Dwellers, as MSTies try to figure out if the movie is supposed to be prehistoric or post-apocalyptic.  The opening narration, talking about long ago and the ‘fiery period of man’s ascendency’ seems to imply pre-historic, but the fact that Achronus calls the Geometic Nucleus a ‘discovery’ rather than an ‘invention’, and that the equipment available to him is in no way equal to controlling nuclear energy, would appear to speak to the latter.  The easiest answer, I think, is that Cave Dwellers takes place, as many movies do, in another universe entirely – one that is obviously not constrained to make logical or narrative sense.

The footage Film Ventures International used over the opening credits is apparently from a movie called Thor and the Amazon Women.  I definitely have to see that.

[peeka-byakugan]

Batman in Video Games

Over the last week or so I’ve been consumed by rambling, disjointed thoughts on the Batman characters and setting in video games. There’s been a lot of good, and a fair bit of not-so-good, and so, in order to clear my head, I’ve decided to dump my ideal “Batgame” here.

First off, I have a few general thoughts; foremost among them is that we need to just retire the fucking Joker already. The Joker is an incredibly offensive portrayal of the mentally ill, born from an outmoded fear of anything that deviated from the accepted norms of society. Everything that slimeball does boils down to “because he’s craaaaaazy!” And that kind of shit just doesn’t fly in 2017. There are so many villains to choose from that would foster more compelling and less infuriating stories.

On that note, I would also like to focus the narrative on one or two villains, with a singular and complex story to tell, rather than cramming 14 bad guys with nefarious plans into a single night of rooftop vigilantism. I understand the allure of the Rogues Gallery, but (to me) it just feels ridiculous to have Bruce and company square off against over a dozen separate baddies across a single night. Invariably, when you have so many separate plots, some are going to feel shallow.

Conversely, I would like to see more of the Bat Family present in the game, not just as talking heads and interludes, but as fully realized and playable characters with discrete and potentially intertwining plots and campaigns. It would make the world more believable if I didn’t have to try and buy one guy being everywhere and doing everything.

As for the actual game I would like to see, I’ll break it down here.

Story:

As I said above, I’d like to bring the focus in on a singular, compelling mystery. Lives should be at stake, but not Gotham as a whole. Progression should be linear but branching, dependent upon the evidence you find and the leads you choose to follow. And I want to be the one finding the evidence and making the decisions. Don’t just tell us “Batman uses his big ol’ brain to determine what this means,” let the players figure it out. Crucially, let the player be wrong; let potential mistakes hinder the investigation, and put a black mark on their ultimate victory. Doing this allows for multiple endings and greater replayability.

Interludes could be added to the core story, following the any of the numerous companions and confidantes Batman has built up over the years. These (optional) side stories could flesh out the central story and provide a change of pace, to keep the player invested and ward off plot heavy burn-out.

Setting:

This sort of story seems best suited to linear progression through explorable hubs rather than one big sandbox. Smaller zones would allow the developers to make them feel lived in and distinct, with their own charms and personalities. 

In terms of atmosphere, Gotham needs to lighten up. To use the Arkham games as an example, by the end I began to have difficulty believing that any mundane person would still try to live there. There needs to be some light in the darkness to make regular folks feel safe. Sure, the average joe knows that when shit hits the fan, the Dark Knight will come out to set things right, but how can a small-time crook reasonably expect to go about his/her nightly muggings within a hundred miles of the goddamned Batman?

Gameplay:

I would like to take a slower, more deliberate approach to gameplay and mechanics. As I mentioned above, I would like to have more agency when it comes to investigating crimes and clues. Don’t just tell the player, but let them feel like the world’s greatest detective. Investigations would involve collecting and examining evidence, grilling the bad guy’s crew for info and tracking down leads as you unravel the mystery.

Of course, the player will come up against different kinds of baddies, traps, security systems and ultimately, the primary antagonist. In approaching these obstacles, a stealth system must be present, optional but rewarding. I’m not wholly against compulsory stealth or combat sections, but the vast majority should be up to the player.

Stealth should focus on evaluating the enemy and leveling the playing field against them. splitting up groups, setting traps and putting the fear of the Bat into mobs.

Combat needs to be toned down, and Batman himself made to feel more human and fallible. Anywhere up to three vs. one, Bats is a monster, completely untouchable by mortal man, but when he’s facing down two dozen angry schmucks with guns, knives and stun-batons like some almighty wuxia god, I’m personally beginning to lose my immersion. I feel like Rocksteady had the formula right, but scaled it up too far as the games progressed. By keeping the fights smaller and making use of scare tactics and planning, the players could really step into the boots of Batman.

Following up on the idea of additional playable characters, none of them should play exactly like Bruce. From Dick Grayson to Cassandra Cain, Damien Wayne to Stephanie Brown, no two are exactly alike, and each should be given a unique style, mechanic and storyline approach. This is where the hardcore players will find the depth they crave, not in controlling a single avatar across a vast world, but in mastering multiple styles and experiencing multiple perspectives.

Well, that’s my pitch. For anyone who got through it all, thanks for reading and what do you think? I don’t get to rant about stuff like this too often, so it feels refreshing to just plop it out into the shrieking void of tumblr.