#I mean that in the best way genuinely - I love that silly beige color i just would have been laughing to myself at 3 am coloring which -

[benetnvsch]

maybe you could draw kunikida with flowers in her hair if you wanted maybe sorry fjdjsh

I am so perfectly normal about this idea (<-lies and deception)-

[staticscreenwriting]

12 Days of Christmas - [Day 8]

A/N: Day number 8 for the Christmas coundown with @mattysheelies. Sorry it’s so late and out of order. I’m trying my best. I hope you guys understand. I also hope you enjoy ♥

Prompt: I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas"

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

The movies lie. That’s a cold hard truth that Billy Hargrove has come to terms with a while ago. It becomes ever so clear to him again, as he watches Max and Susan cuddled up on the couch, watching some cheesy Christmas flick on TV. He hasn’t really been paying attention to the movie but it’s quite obvious it’s one of those generic Christmas films that pretend like snow is the best thing to happen to a person, especially in the month of december. The characters are all smiling and laughing and even if a problem arises, in the end it’s all gonna be alright. Because they have each other and the love they share for one another. Because family is the most important thing in the world and your family is always gonna love you.

And that, Billy knows for certain, is a big bunch of absolute bullshit. The last good Christmas he had was when mom was still living with them. Now it’s just a sad reminder of what his family should be, and what it most definitely isn’t. 

It’s not like he can really explain it to people either. His family celebrates Christmas and he does get presents, most of which he genuinely likes, but there’s always this invisible weight on his shoulders. Like he can’t really enjoy it because there’s always restrictions that come with it. It’s in the looks his father gives him when handing over a present. Neil never does anything without having ulterior motives. Every gift he’s ever given Billy has come with consequences. Neil is calculating. Scary.

Every gift handed over to his son is perfectly calculated. 

“We’re doing so much for you, Billy.”

“ We spent so much money on your gifts, Billy.”

“ Be a bit more grateful, Billy. “

“ This family is all you got, Billy “ .

Billy looks back towards the TV, the characters are singing now, holding hands around a Christmas tree. Then his eyes wander around the room. To Max who gives him a scowl as she sees him watching her. To Susan, who glances back and forth between the TV and the kitchen where a ham is roasting currently, afraid to overcook it just a tiny bit, afraid of the repercussions. To Neil who is leaned back on his recliner, feet resting on the coffee table, eyes halfway closed, snoring coming from his nose like the growl of a cave troll. 

This is nothing like the movies.

The phone ringing catches everyone’s attention, though Billy is sure it has the most effect on him. It makes his heart drop at the thought of who it could be. It’s the one thing that helps him get through the Christmas time. The one thought that help him get through — everything. That lets him know that he is never truly alone. There’s always gonna be one person who cares even if she’s on the other end of the country. 

He rushes towards the phone, picks up the receiver and, after taking a breath to calm himself down, he answers. “ Hargrove, hello ? “ 

The voice on the other end is not the one he so desperately wants to hear. A weird feeling is spreading through him, like someone is holding him under water or sitting on his chest, making it harder and harder to breathe. Like someone has reached into his chest and is holding onto his heart real tigh, squeezing it painfully.

Billy quickly turns his back towards the living room, knowing his face is probably betraying him, showing exactly what he’s feeling for anyone to see, anyone to judge — anyone to use it against him.

“ Max “ he croaks out, trying his best to keep all emotion out of his voice “ Sinclair wants to talk to you. “ 

Max takes the phone from him, eyeing him suspiciously. Almost as if she’s asking him if he’s okay, just without the words. All conveyed through a look. 

Truth is: No, he’s not okay. In fact, he doesn’t remember the last time he was properly okay. But this is not the place to show weakness or pain or heartbreak. Because there’s eyes and ears everywhere and they use those things against you. So he nods and walks back towards the couch. 

Neil is now leaning against the doorframe, self righteous smirk on his face like the villain in a Disney movie. “ Not who you were hoping for ? “ he snarls at Billy. 

There’s a sick satisfaction in his words, fully of malice. It’s as if he relishes in Billy’s misfortune. As if Billy’s pain brings him joy. 

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about. “ Billy replies before an arm shoots out, effectively stopping him from moving further into the room.

“ We both know that is bullshit, son. Don’t forget I’m the one paying the phone bill. I know you spent all of last Christmas on the phone to that — “ 

Billy’s hands curls up into a fist, his mind repeating a mantra over and over “ don’t call her names. Please don’t call her names. “ 

“ that girl. “ Even the way Neil says ‘girl’ gives Billy a sour taste in his mouth but at least it’s not some mean name. Billy wouldn’t be able to stand hearing his father call her any names.

“ She’s my friend. “ 

Neil scoffs, “ Yeah sure. Friend. “ 

Maybe he has a point. She’s more than that. She’s his constant. The only person who deliberately chooses to stay in his life, who makes an effort. The only person who doesn’t leave.

“ You really think whatever you two are doing has any future ? You still holding onto those silly dreams of going back to California and living that perfect little life with (Y/N) ? Let me tell you one thing, Billy “ Neil says then moves closer, lips right by Billy’s ears. With a low voice he speaks up again “ That is not going to happen. Never. Those are not the cards we Hargrove men are dealt. So you best start being grateful with what you have here, it’s all you’ll ever know. This is as good as it gets. “ 

And that, is exactly what Billy is so fucking afraid of. What if he’s right ? What is this really is as good as it gets for him ? 

He looks back towards the phone once again, Max having finished her phone call by now. It’s stays still, quiet. No calls. No calls. No calls.

Billy sits on the steps of the front porch, cigarette dangling from his hand. From inside the house , the muffled sound of a Christmas song can be heard. 

As his warm breath creates little clouds in the cold winter air, Billy feels at peace for just a moment. Like he finally gets to breathe again. It’s fleeting and he knows that as soon as he steps back inside the feeling will be gone, so he cherishes it.

Across the street, through the window illuminated by Christmas lights, he catches a glimpse of his neighbours decorating their tree. Mr. Miller lifting their little son up to put the star on the top. Maybe, he thinks, some lifes can be like the movies. Maybe just not his in particular.

The Fletcher’s from next door pass by his house, mom, dad a kid and a dog. They all wear matching smiles on their faces. The way it should be. When they notice him, Mrs. Fletcher turns to her little daughter and whispers something in her ears. The little girl smiles even widers then hurries across the lawn up towards where Billy is sitting.

“ Merry Christmas “ she says, as Billy regards her with a look of utter uncertainty. 

“ Merry Christmas “ he returns then looks at the outstretched hand of the little girl. A gingerbread man looks at him with big gumdrop eyes. “ Is that for me ? “ 

The little girl nods “ uh-huh. Mommy and I made them for all our neighbours. “ 

The innocence and wonder in her voice, the kindness — it makes him remember the times when Christmas wasn’t but a day to remind him how lonely he actually is. It reminds him of when things were good and Christmas was something he was looking forwards to. 

He thanks the little girl and, as she runs back towards her family and gives him a wave goodbye, Billy can’t help but smile. 

A rumbling sound breaks through the peaceful evening, followed by two headlights illuminating the street. An ugly beige colored Mercury Cougar speeds up the street, leaving a trail of smoke in it’s wake. 

Billy stands up in a rush, his cigarette dropping onto the snow covered ground. It’s an ugly car. Probably the ugliest car he’s ever seen. It’s falling apart at every end. There’s half peeled off bumper stickers and a stuffed mickey mouse hanging from the front mirror. 

By all means, he should hate this car. He doesn’t though. Because it’s where he’s made some of his favorite memories.

In the matter of seconds, after the vehicle has stopped in front of his house, he’s off of the steps, across the lawn and by the side of the car. It takes but a blink of an eye for the driver to open the door and throw herself into his arms.

There are so many things he wants to say, so many thoughts running through his head. So many questions that need to be asked and yet, he stays quiet because — because she’s here and in his arms and that is all that matters. 

Snow is softly falling around them, resting on her hair like tiny little stars. It occurs to him in that moment, that he’s never kissed her in the snow. In fact he’s never even seen her like this before, snowflakes in her hair, the tip of her nose and her cheeks red from the cold.

“ You’re here “ 

“ I’m here. “ 

“ ‘s why you didn’t call. “ 

“ Yeah, sorry for keeping you waiting — surprise. “ 

He thinks she looks adorable with her rosy cheeks and her red nose and the beanie pulled down over her ears. He thinks she always looks adorable but this is a whole new look, one he never got to see in the years they grew up together in California. 

Holy shit, California.

“ Did you drive here ? “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ In this weather ? Are you insane ? “ 

“ Worth it if it means I get to see you. “ 

He wants to cry. His heart feels so warm and happy and like it’s gonna jump out of his chest. And that kind of happiness is not something he’s used to dealing with. So his body immediately goes to crying. He doesn’t though. Instead he pulls her close and places his lips on hers. Even her lips are cold but who gives a shit. They still taste like her and feel like her and — and like home.

“ Get in the car, Billy. I have a plan for tonight. “ 

He doesn’t object. Getting away from this place, from Neil, even if it’s just for a night, sounds like the best way to spend Christmas Eve.

“ Where are we going ? “ 

“ It’s a surprise. “ 

“ Alright, okay. “ Billy replies, raising his hands in defeat and leaning back in the worn out passenger seat. “ I still can’t believe you came all this way to see me. “ 

“ Look, Billy “ (Y/N) says and look away from the street for a second to lock eyes with him. There’s something in them, so gentle and genuine. Like all the answers to all the questions in the world are hidden right there in her eyes. 

“ Last year when we talked on the phone, it broke my heart. To know you felt lonely and sad, on Christmas of all days. It broke my heart, Billy. I knew your family was shit but at least in California we had each other. So that night I decided that this year was gonna be different. It’s all I asked for this Christmas. Gas money to come see you. I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas ! “ 

Maybe this is what Christmas is really about, Billy thinks. Not the songs and the lights and the movies. And maybe that’s what the movies don’t tell you. That family isn’t always who you think it is, that it’s not created by bood, but by love.

Maybe being with the ones you love is what really matters.

“ I love you, (Y/N) “

It feels like the right thing to say. The only thing that perfectly conveys just how he’s feeling right now. The gravity of it all. Tonight. Her. Them being together. 

“ Of course you do, I’m fucking great. “ 

And though it’s not the answer he excepted, it’s a good one. A very (Y/N) kind of answer. By the way she smiles at him, cheeks blushed now from something other than the cold, he can tell what those words really mean.

“ Why are we in Loch Nora ? “ Billy asks as he looks out the window at the houses passing by, growing bigger and more elaborate with each one. 

“ You’ll see. “ 

“ Alright, just tell me how you know your way around Hawkins so well. “ 

“ Ah you know, “ she says and shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly “ I did my research. “ 

“ What, you read a book called the shittiest places in North America ? “ 

“ No. I asked around. It’s why I’m late. “ 

They drive around for a few more minutes before (Y/N) abruptly stops the car just seconds before turning the corner.

“ Why — “ 

“ Do you remember what we did every year around Christmas time ? “ 

“ Get drunk and have sex in front of your fireplace ? “ 

“ No you idiot. I meant driving around — “ 

“ Candy Cane Lane “ 

“ Candy Cane Lane, yeah. Do you remember the first time we did that ? “ 

He does. Not vividly but he does. They were just kids then and his mom had taken them to see some movie in the cinema. It was one of those nights where you’re so happy and drunk on life you don’t wanna go home. Neither of them wanted to go home. So mom took the long way home, all across town, to look at the Christmas decorations. They ended up on a Candy Cane Lane by accident. His mom turned up the radio that was playing some festive song. And they just drove up and down the street over and over again. 

“ My mom took us. “ 

“ Yeah she did and she — “ (Y/N) stops and takes a breath. Billy thinks he can notice her voice shake a little. “ — she stopped in the middle of the road. I mean there was no one there so it was alright but uh, she stopped. Then she looked at us and she smiled and said: this right here, the way you’re feeling in this moment, that’s what Christmas is. That’s what Christmas should feel like. “ 

She softly cradles Billy’s face in one of her hands and places a gentle kiss on his lips.

“ I want you to feel like that every Christmas, Billy. “ 

She pushed a button on the radio and some cheesy, pop-ish Christmas song sounds through the car on full volume.

As they round the corner, an ocean of colors greets them. Twinkling fairy lights cover every tree, there’s blow up Santas and Snowmen and light up Candy Canes the size of an man.

It looks like a scene straight from some Hallmark Christmas card. Not even Billy with his perpetual cynicism can deny that this is gorgeous.

He’s alive. He’s here, with the girl that he’s been in love with since he knew what love was. The girl that was his first everything. And she’s smiling and her eye shine in the twinkle of the lights. And life, for once, feels so sweet.

“ (Y/N) ? “ 

“ Hmm ? “ 

“ Let’s go home. “ 

Her face falls “ you want me to take you back ? “ 

Billy shakes his head “ No. I wanna go home. How would you feel about another road trip ? “ 

Smiles on their faces they drive up and down the street over and over again until their hearts are about to burst from all the love and happiness they feel. 

Later, as another Christmas song echoes through the car, Billy looks outside and sees them passing the “You’re leaving Hawkins” sign. And his chest feels like and the weight is lifted.

And he’s very much in love. Maybe the movies aren’t all wrong, maybe this is just the prologue for his story. And he main part is just now starting. It’s gonna be a happy one, he thinks.

“ Merry Christmas, (Y/N) “ 

“ Merry Christmas, Billy. By the way: I love you too! “ 

Taglist; [If you wanna be added or deleted from the taglist please let me know]

@sebastiansloserclub​ / @killer-queen-xo​ / @william-hargroves​ / @billysgodcomplex​ / @daisyxbuckley​ / @allabouthargrove​ / @mcrmarvelloki​ / @charmed-asylum​ / @naiomiwinchester​ / @hargrovesprincess​ / @mystrangerfics​ / @teafrompari​ / @staybruuutal​ / @colourado​ / @higher-further-faster-bb​ / @ayybtch​ / @carlaangel86​ / @baebee35

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 8: Mean Girls with Nice Faces

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: There’s more to Rowena than meets the eye.

Editor: @cherrypierowena

A/N: Huge thanks to @miss-moon-guardian for the ballet idea!

Studying with Rowena was awesome.

There — you said it. To yourself, in your mind, but you still said it. Admitted it.

It pained you to do so, but still.

The Rowena MacLeod you knew was a proud mean girl who worked hard to get that way and didn't let silly things such as kindness and decency get in the way of her dreams of high school popularity.

The one who tutored you, though…

It was a different girl.

That Rowena was patient. Kind. Attentive. She seemed genuinely invested in helping you out, improving your grades. At times, it seemed, even more than you.

It was weird.

Unreal.

Impossible.

And yet…

"I think I get it," you said after she'd explained it for the third time. Thinking it through to make sure, you worked your way through solving the problem she'd given you. Slowly and meticulously. But, you were pretty sure, correctly.

The weeks have gone by in a flash, and with them your tutoring sessions. You and Rowena met at least once a week; two or three times if the lessons Ms. Hanscum covered happened to be particularly hard.

Meeting Rowena didn't feel like a chore anymore. If anything, it was fun. Sometimes you even looked forward to it, much to the chagrin of your friends.

Crowley was the worst. You'd never seen someone so dramatic before in your life.

Thankfully, Sam was there to even things out. He was supportive of the whole thing. Happily chatted with you about new lessons you and Rowena would be covering. Kept saying how happy he was for you, that you managed to learn something.

You were happy, too.

You never thought learning could be fun.

And you never, in your wildest dreams, thought Rowena, of all people, would be the one to make it that way.

Life was strange.

Rowena watched as you worked, intrigue sprawled over her face, mouth curled in a small smile. Like a child about to open a present and hoping for what she wanted while accepting, and still anticipating, the possibility that it could be her cousin's hand-me-down. Content, no matter the result.

If anything, it seemed she enjoyed explaining things. Even when she had to do it over and over, she seemed genuinely happy. Sometimes she even smiled, wide, teeth and all.

You'd never seen her smile like that at school. Around her friends. Around her boyfriend.

It felt almost like a privilege to see it. Like a dirty little secret only you were privy to.

"Well, well, well," she said, clicking her tongue. She took the paper from you, observed it. Scanned it with her eyes like a hawk tracking a prey. "Someone's been paying attention."

"I take it I did well?" you said, a touch of playfulness in your tone.

"You did excellent!" she beamed. She took a few breaths, fell silent for a moment as if in contemplation. Then she said, "When we first started, I thought you were dumb. You've proven yourself to be quite smart."

That stung more than you liked to admit.

It wasn't exactly a surprise. You were well aware she wasn't your biggest fan, and neither were you hers. And given your grades, you hadn't left the best impression.

And also…

"And I thought you were a bitch," you said with a shrug.

And she'd proven herself not to be.

She'd proven quite… friendly, actually.

Rowena's face fell, but she forced on a smile. "A lot of people think that."

True.

Even some — if not the majority — of the popular kids.

"Well, you kinda are," you said. "At school, at least." You looked at her. Locked eyes with hers. "Why aren't you like this at school? Nice, I mean."

"I am not nice!" she insisted with a huff, lips puffing up in a pout.

Sure, she wasn't.

And you were Santa Claus.

"Come on, Rowena," you said. "You don't have to pretend. Being nice isn't a bad thing."

If she was nice, you wouldn't have come to dislike her. You wouldn't have thought badly of her.

Hell, maybe you would have befriended her right when Sam had.

She sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

She frowned at you. Inspected you thoroughly, as if to make sure it was okay to talk, to make herself vulnerable.

She never did that, you realized. Never talked to anyone about herself, about her feelings. No one bothered to show the slightest interest.

Not even her friends.

It was sad, really. She'd worked so hard to be one of them, to be their friend, only to have to hide who she really was.

You thought she would change the subject, and were surprised when she spoke up in a tone of voice you'd never heard from her before.

"When you're nice, people expect things. And take things. Take everything." She chuckled; a cold, bitter sound. "All it gets you is a hug, not a seat at the big boys' table. And I'm bloody tired of hugs."

She stared at you, a challenge in her eyes. Defy me, it said. Counter me. I dare you.

You wouldn't.

Because you knew what it was like. You understood.

Middle school was hell for you. So many bullies. So many insults and sneers thrown your way. It certainly made you wish to grow hard, to grow bad to protect yourself. To push everyone away and treat them as you'd been treated.

Had Rowena gone through a similar experience?

Had she been bullied?

"Did something happen back in Scotland?" you asked as delicately as you could, careful not to come across as pitying.

The MacLeods were originally from Scotland. Then the father split, and the mother, now single and all on her own with three children, one of whom was a baby at the time, made a decision to move to America. Start a new, hopefully happier life far away from the troubles and bad memories.

It was the summer before Freshman year. Rowena had started high school in a new country. With her milk-white skin, red hair, a sea of freckles, and a thick accent, she stood out. She was different.

You used to think that was part of the reason she wanted to be popular so badly. That, being from overseas, from a beautiful country at that, she thought herself better than anyone, wanted everyone to know how special she was.

But now…

What if there was more to it?

What if it had less to do with her ego and more with self-preservation?

What if all she wanted was to survive?

Rowena smoothened her features, smothered out the distress, the sadness, and pulled on a neutral expression. A horribly fake one. "I don't like to dwell on the past."

Her tone made it clear she wouldn't say another word on the subject.

Fine by you.

It had gotten quite glum here, anyway. Much too serious for a Saturday afternoon.

"So…" Your eyes fell to the paper filled with numbers. Looked them over. Took them in. An empty, idle gesture. You cleared your throat. "Halloween dance is this Friday."

Rowena perked up at that. Her mouth widened into a grin, bright as the sun. "I've already got a costume," she said happily.

"You do?"

It wasn't exactly a surprise. From everything you'd seen (and heard from Crowley), she loved parties. Especially when she got to dress up.

She nodded. "I'm going as a witch."

She was so damn proud of it. Owned it like a queen.

Of course you are, the snide part of you wanted to say. You elected to keep it to yourself. No point in being mean for no reason.

Even to Rowena.

You still didn't like her, but…

There were parts of her you did like, you realized. Like the way she was when the two of you were alone, no friends to give sarcastic quips, no strangers to point and whisper and laugh. Just the two of you, at ease with each other. Somehow managing to enjoy something as dreadful as math.

"That's great!" you said, and meant it.

You were willing to bet she would look amazing.

Hell, the girl had, at one point, managed to make a beige skirt look amazing.

She would rock as a witch!

"Would you like to see?" she suddenly asked.

"See what?"

"My costume."

You found yourself grinning before you realized what you were doing. An involuntary reaction, led by instinct rather than reason.

Humans were animals, after all.

Like a true animal, you heard something you knew you would like, something you knew would feel good, and reacted.

Positively.

So what if that something was Rowena's costume? Or Rowena in general?

It didn't mean anything.

It was just fascination.

"Sure."

She rushed to the closet and opened it wide. There were so many clothes there. So many dresses and skirts and blouses and pants. All in different colors. Some adorned with flowers and intricate patterns, others shining as if drenched in glitter. So… Rowena.

Below them, at the bottom, were a few boxes, alongside heaps of neatly folded clothes. Shoes, most likely. Or accessories. One was open, and you had to step closer to make out what was inside.

"Are those pointe shoes?"

Rowena startled as if pinched. Panic momentarily flashing over her face, she grabbed the lid and shoved it atop the box.

"They are, right?" you inquired, baffled by her reaction.

She owned ballet shoes — so what?

If anything, ballet was kind of fitting for someone like her. Certainly fit the stereotypes.

"They're old," Rowena said. "I used to do ballet when I was wee. Bloody waste of time!"

You weren't so sure. The shoes looked rather big for a kid's foot. Granted, you hadn't gotten a good look at them, but you could've sworn they looked as if they would still fit her.

Whatever.

If she wanted to be weird about it, so be it.

"You sucked?"

"Badly."

Something told you that wasn't true, but you decided not to pry.

She had a right to her secrets. Even if they made no sense.

Rowena pulled out a dress and held it up with pride.

You gasped.

It was an evening gown, the most beautiful one you'd ever seen. It was long, deep black in color, sprinkled in glitter that made it look like the sky in the middle of the night. All stars, no clouds. A mesmerizing sight.

"It's gorgeous," you said in awe.

Rowena was grinning from ear to ear. Proud. Happy to impress. "Isn't it? It's custom made."

Damn.

She must have sold her soul to afford that.

It was worth it. You weren't into dresses, but this one — this one was worth anything.

"You gonna have a matching pointy hat?" you teased.

She scowled playfully. "Maybe."

You laughed.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's enough. Back to maths."

"But—"

She held up a forefinger in warning. "Maths."

"I'm good with this lesson."

"You know what they say. Repetition is the mother of learning."

"Well, some mothers suck!"

That made her laugh. You laughed along. Happily. Heartily.

Yes.

Studying with her was definitely awesome.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne

[frauleinjustice]

Oumasai Week Prompt 6: Birthday

@oumasaiweek

I just had to write something for Kokichi’s birthday, too! Wanted to make it super soft and fluffy, ehehe, so as always: I do hope you all enjoy and thank you to all who do choose to read it! ❤

Today is Kokichi’s birthday. While he doesn’t expect most of his classmates-save for a handful of them-to really care that much, that was fine. Not only will he and DICE have a big party at their base much later tonight, but there was a certain someone he especially wanted to spend most of the day with before then: Shuichi. He expected to see him in class that morning, just like the others. He got a few birthday wishes here and there, which was nice, but he didn’t see Shuichi there. He huffs: of all days Shuichi doesn’t come to school, he dares does so on the day to worship the supreme leader. Demanding Kaede tells him where he’s at, she told him best guess is to check his dorm.

Not caring about staying in class any longer, Kokichi instantly starts making his way to the dormitory buildings, mumbling under his breath: “Saihara-chan’s got a lot of nerve not coming to school... “ Did he not want to see him? Kokichi tries not to think of the surely irrational thought, but it made him anxious over the possibility. He knows Shuichi wasn’t busy with a case at the moment, so he can’t think of any other reasons why he didn’t show up.

Meanwhile with Shuichi; he actually was in his dorm. The reason he didn’t show up to class was because he was organizing several of the presents he’s gotten for Kokichi. A sketch of Kokichi he drew himself, teabags of pretty expensive and rare flavors like red velvet and chocolate tea, dice block keychains… and then a special present he’ll want to surprise Kokichi with last. He knows he probably overdid it with the gifts, but for Kokichi; he felt it was worth it.

Albeit a bit nervous on how much he’ll actually love all this: the thought of Kokichi very happily accepting all of these gifts makes a big smile appear on Shuichi’s own face. He hasn’t told it to the other yet, but… he fell hard for him. The harmless lies, mischievous nature, and his rather silly and eccentric nature overall… what Shuichi would initially find taxing at times, grew to it being traits of Kokichi he grew fond of.

Kokichi also grew to love Shuichi, even if he was too scared to ever say that. Shuichi delighted him in so many ways. He can’t figure him out, can’t always expect the detective to say or do certain things… his reactions amuse him, he gets delighted when Shuichi even plays along with his antics at times. It made Kokichi become more and more intrigued by him overtime… and how he eventually comes to fall in love with him.

“Alright…” Shuichi mutters under his breath. “Everything can fit in here.” All his presents were fitted neatly inside of the colorful gift bag he bought. The special present will be nice and secure in one of his pockets, once he actually gets dressed. He had practically rolled out of bed to start organizing these gifts so he was still in his pajamas. A yawn leaving his lips, he stretches his arms. “Now to just find him and-?!”

The sudden sound of his door being knocked on made him jump in his seat. “Ah? Who is tha-”

“Saihara Shuichiii!”

“O-Oh…” He was honestly a bit worried it’d be Kokichi at the door, mostly because he hasn’t put the gift bag away yet. And because he made a yelp when he jumped, Kokichi knows he’s in there, so Shuichi can’t pretend he isn’t. “Uh, one moment! Let me just-!” Grabbing the gift bag, Shuichi scurries over to his bookbag and carefully places the gift bag inside before closing the bag back up.

Kokichi crosses his arms, impatiently tapping his foot while pouting. “I’ve come here to finally carry out my mission of assassinating you, and you dare tell me to wait?”

“Comiiing…!” He heads over to the door to open it. “G-Good morning, Ouma-kun. Sorry, I had to..do something for a second.”

Kokichi eyes the detective up and down. Bed hair, still in pajamas, still looking a bit sleepy… it couldn’t help but make Kokichi snicker. “Wow, you look like crap! Did you sleep past your alarm or something? How irresponsible! Nishishi!”

“S-Shush, you. I just haven’t gotten ready, is all. Just give me a minute and I’ll be-woah!”

“Coming through!” Before he could even finish, Kokichi invites himself in by ducking under Shuichi’s elbow and squeezing past him.

A sigh, Shuichi closes the door and looks towards him. “So um, did you need something..? I was going to come to class once I was dressed, you know..”

“Forget about class right now! If you want to live to see another day… you’re going to spend the entire day with me!” Kokichi declares with a point.

“Huh?” He gives a small tilt of the head. “What did you want to do…?”

“You’ll know when you know!” Meaning: Kokichi really didn’t have a set plan, either. He just wants to spend some time with Shuichi and exploring the different shops in the city with him. “And I won’t take no for an answer! U-Unless…” Kokichi lowers his head. “S-Saihara-chan will refuse and force me to get out. He was already so cruel as to try hiding away from me in his room, a-after all…” Voice sounding like it’s breaking, Kokichi looks up to him with watery eyes. It was just his usual crocodile tears act, but there was still that small genuine hint of worry Shuichi wouldn’t want to deal with him that long. He wanted to hear it from Shuichi himself he wants to spend time with him.

“Ah! H-Hold on, it’s not if I said ‘no’, did I? Just...give me a minute to get dressed and we can do whatever you have planned, okay?”

“.......” And in a flick of a switch, Kokichi was beaming. “Good! Don’t keep me waiting too long, now~!” He heads back over to the door. “I’ll get dressed in different clothes, myself. Meet me outside in the hallway once you’re done. Oh, and fyi: other colors than black do exist, emo!”

“O-Ohh, whatever!” Swatting his hand in the air, he rolls his eyes before chortling. Snickering, Kokichi exits the room and heads back to his own. He changes into more casual clothes: specifically a black shirt, short-sleeved Panta hoodie, white pants, and checkerboard patterned shoes. Along with this, he still kept on his scarf and wore a clear bookbag with his clothes, too. A nice and simple look, but he internally hopes Shuichi will like it, too.

Shuichi throws on a brown button up shirt and beige jacket, along with black pants, brown loafers, and his bookbag. Kokichi was already waiting outside in the hallway when Shuichi came out. For a second, he couldn’t help but stare. Shuichi looked nice in his regular clothes, but in casual wear… he found him even more attractive. Shuichi in turn couldn’t help but blush lightly at seeing Kokichi. He thought he honestly looks cute in his normal clothes as well, but especially so in his own casual outfit. “Hmm… so even Saihara-chan can look good in something other than black, huh?”

“I can’t tell if I should take that as a compliment or an insult… just kidding. T-Thank you. You look nice, yourself.”

The already light blush on Kokichi’s face grows a bit worse from that, quickly turning around. “Aww, you flatter me, so!” But then in a more genuine tone, he says: “Thanks! Now come on, off we go!” In his burst of excitement, he grabs Shuichi’s wrist and drags him outside. The walk to the main parts of the city was about 10 minutes, so it wouldn’t take too long to get down there. It gave Kokichi some time to think about where he wanted to bring Shuichi with him to, first.

“Hmm… I’m kind of hungry. Let’s go to a cafe first. I’ll order me a Monster Chocolate Volcano Parfait! It cost about  ¥4,000 and you’re gonna pay for it!” Kokichi declares excitedly.

“What? I highly doubt such a drink exists. ...Or even costs that much.”

“You’re right, that was a lie! Really though, let’s go to one! I have trusty intel that lets me aware of alll the good joints in town, you see.”

“I-I’m sure you do…” They continued to talk and joke around and whatnot until they reached the specific cafe Kokichi wanted to come to. “Ahh… Milk Bread Cafe? I think I came here before, one time…”

“Ohh? Good, then! I’m still ordering that Deluxe King Mocha Parfait that I mentioned before, by the way.”

“That’s not even the same dessert you mentioned!” A playful roll of the eyes as Kokichi laughs, they enter inside. The hostess brings them to a booth that was near the windows. It had a nice view of the street, people and cars going to and about their way. The two take their time browsing the menu to see what they’d like before their waitress comes over.

“Welcome to Milk Bread Cafe! I’m Yumi and I’ll be serving you today! Just so you know, we’re doing a Couples Discount today~! Everything on our specials section of the menu will be half-off!”

“C-Couples Discount? Oh, well, um-”

“We’ll do that!”

“!” Shuichi looks over to Kokichi in surprise. His cheeks turn red, surprised he actually went along with it. Though he figured: he was only just going for it solely for the discount, and hence why he’ll play along and nods his head. “Y-Yeah! Me and my ...b-boyfriend will do that, then.”

Even if Kokichi was the one who spoke up; still hearing the word ‘boyfriend’ out Shuichi’s mouth makes his heart bounce around in his chest a bit, masking it with a big smile on his face. “So we’ll do that! Give me theee… purple velvet cake slice with vanilla bean ice cream and taro milk tea!”

“And I will have the marble chocolate milk bread with an iced medium caramel macchiato, please.”

“Right away, sirs! I’ll put that order in riiight away and be out in a second with your drinks.”

A nod from them both, the waitress heads over to do that. Kokichi looks back at Shuichi, having an amused smile on his face. “I’m surprised you actually went along with it.”

“W-Well, yeah? I mean, it would’ve been awkward if I said ‘no’ after that..” That, and Shuichi wouldn’t exactly complain over the thought of them having been mistaken as a couple.

“Nishishi! Well, I would’ve had you executed if you called me out for it. So good…” Their drinks and food eventually came. Kokichi takes a bite out of his cake and ice cream, a smile practically beaming on his face from how delicious it was. “This tastes so good~!”

Shuichi didn’t eat his food yet, instead finding himself spacing out. That big, bright smile on Kokichi’s face… he found it so precious. It makes a small smile appear on his own face, giving a content sigh under his breath.

“I want to steal one of your bread slices, too, Saihara-cha…?” Now he noticed Shuichi staring at him. Being looked at with such a content smile on Shuichi’s face: it flustered him a bit. He had to wonder how one boy could just look so handsome without even trying. Before he’d also find himself being lost in his eyes, Kokichi waves a hand in front of Shuichi’s face. “Helloooo? Earth to Saihara-chan!”

“!” He quickly shakes his head to snap out of it. “O-Oh, uh: sorry, did you say something?”

“Pfft, don’t go spacing out, silly! Eat your stuff already or I will!”

“Ah, right. Not that I mind if you really want to have a slice… I doubt I could finish all this myself, anyways.” He chuckles, actually just placing two slices of his bread on Kokichi’s plate before trying one, himself. “Ohh… this is really good! I love milk bread…”

Kokichi also tries one, nodding in agreement. “Yeah! Since you shared some of your stuff, I gueesss I can be nice to you for once and let you try a piece of my cake.” Now he simply would’ve just cut a piece with his knife, but to be a tease… he breaks off a piece of the cake with his fork and hovers said piece to Shuichi’s mouth. “Say ‘ahh’~!”

“H-Huh??” Shuichi blinks. “Wha, c-come on, that’s embarrassing… …..”

“Nishishi!” Snickering, Kokichi knew he was going to get that kind of reaction, and was about to bring his fork back when…

“....Ahh…” Shuichi leans in a bit to actually eat the piece. Flustered as he was for actually doing that, he mutters: “...I-It’s good…”

“..........” Kokichi didn’t say anything, save for a more noticeable blush on his face appearing. Bringing his fork back over to his plate, he gives a disinterested sigh. “...I knew you were super cheesy like that, but wow.” He scoffs, mostly to distract that he also felt pretty embarrassed.

“E-Eheheh...that’s what you get f-for trying to tease me.” It really did feel like they were a cute couple on a date. Shuichi would feel far too shy to even say it jokingly, but just thinking about it that way was making their little trip to this cafe even more enjoyable for him. For the rest of their meal, they chatted a little but ate silently for the most part. With Shuichi paying for them both and Kokichi at least wanting to leave a tip, they were off.

“Alrighty! Next, we’re going to go tooo… oh!” There’s a glint in his eyes. “One of my favorite shops!” He looks up at Shuichi, smiling mischievously while holding a finger up to his lips. “Only the bravest of souls can survive there.... Even for me, it was quite a challenge to overthrow the former leader of that place. I wonder if Saihara-chan will be able to live to see the light, afterwards…”

“I’m not sure if I even want to guess what kind of shop you’re talking about, now…”

Responding with only a snicker, Kokichi gestures him to follow him. A couple of streets later and they were in front of said shop Kokichi was talking about: a novelty shop that primarily sold props and items for pranks and tricks. It was no surprise he is a regular there, even being pretty good friends with the owner. They both enter inside, the shop being a small one with lively music playing in the background. Shelves and bins were filled to the brim with prank items like airhorns, firecrackers, fake mice/snakes/insects/etc., silly string, and much more. “Aaand here we are! Isn’t it perfect?!”

“A… shop that sells prank items. Oh my god… it really is perfect for you.” He remarks jokingly, curiously viewing around. “I’m guessing this is where you get most of your stuff for pranks…?”

“Yup! I need to restock on more. Maybeee…” He looks towards the firecrackers. “I put those in a pot and set it near Momota-chan on his bed while he’s asleep...then set it off and scare the shit out of him! Orrr…”  He directs his attention to a fake rat. “I hide this in Amami-chan’s locker and maybe this time, I’ll get an actual yelp out of him!”

“...Okay, I admit: sometimes it’s honestly funny whenever Momota-kun gets startled. So imagining someone like Amami-kun letting out a scream i-is kind of… p-pfft…”

The smile on Kokichi’s face widens. “Whaaat? Is Saihara-chan actually encouraging me to prank someone? I knew our super serious detective had a mischievous side~!”

“I-It’s not like that! Hahaha…!” He couldn’t even say that without his voice breaking before he started laughing. “Listen, if you buy that and try getting them with it, I take no shared responsibility for the consequences!”

“Ohh yes you will! It’s what you get for showing me your secret dark side, detective!” He declares in anything but a serious tone. Really though, he was super delighted whenever Shuichi jokes around with him like this. He didn’t act as stiff or serious as he normally would with things like this… or in general, really. Kokichi normally did not let others try to become close with him and yet… seeing how Shuichi gradually acts more casual and relaxed around him: it was such a wonderful feeling.

Grabbing two of those items he mentioned, Kokichi heads over to the counter, where the owner of the shop greets him. “Hey, Kokichi-san and friend! I see you got some stuff? Going to acquire more prank victims, hm?”

Shuichi gives a small ‘hello’ in response, while Kokichi gives a much more livelier: “Namoru-chan! Nishishi, you’ve got that right!”

“Nice. Oh, we actually got some new stuff in that I’m sure you’ll love.” And what turned from Kokichi simply buying two things instead turned into him buying almost 10 things, carrying two bags worth of pranking material.

“Good ol’ Namoru-chan always has the deets!” Glitter bombs, shock pens, airhorns, fake snakes… just a variety of different things he could utilize for any prank victim of his choice. This will especially come in handy when he and DICE really go crazy on the weekend and pull off as many pranks as they can.

“I-I can see that. Hahaha, Ouma-kun really does have his own dealer. But with pranks…”

“Mmmhm! By the way… you’re the only one I’ve shown this shop to. Don’t go telling anyone else, okay? Else I’ll subject you to Deep Web level torture!”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Which sounded sarcastic, but Shuichi really will keep it a secret. In a way, he felt a bit flattered he was the first person Kokichi wanted to bring to his favorite shop.

From there, Kokichi continued to drag Shuichi to several different shops. They window shopped in a few places, browsed the mall and popped into a few stores like a candy store and video game shop, and then Shuichi treated him to one of his favorite ramen joints once they became hungry again. All the while, the two continued to have nothing but fun together. His birthday was going so wonderfully, even he had to wonder how it could become any better.

Over the course of their activities, evening soon came. Having walked around all day and gone to several different places; the boys were pretty tuckered out, but didn’t want to part ways just yet. In fact: there was one more place Shuichi wanted to bring him. “...Hey, Ouma-kun?” Shuichi speaks up. “I want to bring you to one last place...is that okay?”

“Hmm?” Kokichi gives a curious tilt of the head. “Where to?”

“Yoyogi Park. The bus that leads there is just around the corner. Just to relax for a minute and… to show you something specifically there. Ah, but it’s a surprise.” He smiles, playing giving the gesture of placing a finger against his lips.

“A surprise, huh…?” Further intrigued, he gives a nod. “Alright, then let’s go. It better not be a boring surprise, Saihara-chan… but that’s a lie! Even I have high expectations you’ll impress me. Be honored!”

“Ah, I absolutely am. Though, I really hope you will like it…” There was slight uncertainty in his voice, but Shuichi told himself it will be okay. A short bus ride later, they were at the park. Shuichi loved to come here, as no matter what time of the day, it always seemed so quiet and peaceful. The view of the trees and ponds as one walks alongside the path was very beautiful. Shuichi often liked to take a stroll through it on foot or on his bike a lot of the time.

Gesturing Kokichi to just follow him, their walk was mostly in silence; but, the comforting kind of silence where it didn’t feel awkward if they weren’t saying anything. Kokichi may not seem like the type, but even he found parks nice to walk through every once in a while. It made him wonder even more where in this park that Shuichi wanted to show him as a surprise. After walking on the path for a while, Shuichi would start walking off it and towards the areas with lots more trees. “Just a little further…” He tells him. It wasn’t exactly easy to traverse past all the trees with no clear path, and it could be easy to get lost if you strayed off the path even just a little: but thankfully Shuichi knew exactly where he was going. After several minutes, the two would finally make it out of the secret path. Going through two big bushes, they were finally at the area Shuichi wanted to show him. “Well...here we are!”

“....!” What Kokichi was greeted with was a small garden area surrounded by bushes and shrubs. Petals of jasmine flowers from the shrubs they grew on litter parts of the ground. In the middle of the area is a fountain, with two benches on the left and right of it. Kokichi had never seen this area of the park before, so he was mesmerized. “Wooow…. Is this Saihara-chan’s secret base where he conducts shady deals with clients? I like it!”

“Very funny. But, ah…! Y-You do?” Relief washes over him, along with a bright smile appearing on his face. “I’m so glad…! I found this area a long time ago. It’s...pretty out of the way, as you now know, but… it’s so pretty, it’s worth it. I like to come here at times to relax, read, study… and whenever I just need to get away from it all and clear my head, coming here always helps. I haven’t shown anyone else this area before, so… I wanted you to be the first.” He admits with a soft chuckle, blushing lightly as he bashfully rubs the back of his head.

“....Me?” He feels his heart leap in his chest. He could tell it was a pretty special spot to Shuichi, so it made him far happier than he even realized that Shuichi trusted him enough to want to bring him here. Blushing, Kokichi darted his eyes away. “S-Saihara-chan’s being super cheesy again…”

“Ahaha… anyways, come over here…” Shuichi gestures him to sit at the bench with him. They put several of the bags from their multiple shopping trips down on the ground before Shuichi takes off his bookbag and opens it. It was finally time to give him the presents he had gotten him. He takes out the gift bag. “I know it’s awfully late to actually say it, but… Happy Birthday, Ouma-kun!” He holds the gift bag out to him. “This was why I didn’t show up to class this morning: I wanted to organize the presents I’ve gotten for you.”

“Oh…?” Kokichi accepts the gift bag. “I see, I see… so it wasn’t Saihara-chan trying to avoid me to escape being assassinated, after all…” He looks up to him, beaming. “Thanks! Let’s seeee…” Kokichi first takes out the dice block keychains. “Ohh! I’ve been needing to spruce up my keyring with new stuff!” Then he takes out the dessert teabags. “Chocolate and red velvet tea! The perfect tea to have at the round table with my most trusted generals…” He jokes with a snicker. He was loving each present so far, already. He then takes out the sketch Shuichi made of him. He was doing a goofy smile while doing peace signs with both hands, as if posing for a picture. It was light-hearted and cute, yet well drawn. He even drew him with his hat and cape on. “Ah….”

“D-Do you like it? No lie, I had fun drawing that, eheheh… I thought to myself: ‘What really captures Ouma-kun?’ And so...yeah!”

“......” He could feel his heart thumping harder in his chest and his face heating up worse. Yet, he couldn’t stop a genuinely happy smile from spreading across his face and gives Shuichi’s nose a playful poke. “Nerd! You forgot my super menacing supervillain chair and flying car, so it sucks… just kidding! I love it!”

The poke to his nose makes him giggle. Though hearing he loves the drawing, and overall all the gifts: it made much more worth it to have gotten him it. “I’m happy that you do…! But there’s...one more. One more th-that...I wanted to save for last.”

“?”

Shuichi exhales softly to try mentally keeping himself calm. From his pocket, he pulls out a small box. Inside would contain the special gift: a silver sterling bracelet. Being made of real silver, it was definitely expensive. It had a design of a crown on it, but not only that: Shuichi had this bracelet personally customized. In the middle of it, ‘Kokichi Ouma’ was engraved. He opens the box and takes the bracelet out. “Let me have your wrist for a moment…” Shuichi carefully places the bracelet around Kokichi’s wrist. “S-So what do you think?”

Kokichi does not say anything. The expression on his face is unreadable as he twists his wrist around to get a full look of the bracelet. Even just by looking at it, he knew it was not cheap. The tiny crown on it was a very nice touch, he thought. And then seeing it had his name on it… that Shuichi went that extra mile to make it even more personal and special to Kokichi… “......” He could not even come up with a mocking or teasing jab right away. He was touched. “I….I….” He utters softly: “I love it, Saihara-chan…”

Kokichi’s straightforward response surprised him, but made his heart swell up with happiness. “I’m glad… I wanted to save the best for last, haha.” Then there is a pause. This would be the perfect time, Shuichi tells himself: the perfect time to confess. The thought of doing so makes him extremely nervous, but he told himself to just get it over with. He didn’t want to keep holding it in. Shuichi speaks up with again with: “O….Ouma-kun?”

“Hmm? Got another surprise for me? Oh! Is it that you’ll fiiinally join my organization?”

“N-Not exactly. Um...a-ah…” Another exhale. He didn’t want to clam up right now: he wouldn’t allow himself to. He hesitates for a second, but… Shuichi would go to cup one of Kokichi’s hands in his own. “I just wanted to say that… I hope you had a lot of fun today. I most certainly did, anyway. Ouma-kun...deserves to have a nice birthday, after all. You always deserve to feel happy. You have such a… nice, genuine smile. And to be able to see that for myself multiple times today; I loved it. It was, um: w-why I was distracted staring at you in the cafe, honestly.” He chuckled shyly. “You’re...really cute.”

Kokichi’s heart leaped in his chest when Shuichi cupped his hand. He silently stared at him as Shuichi went on. Always deserves to be happy ... His genuine smile is adoring… to the point that even Shuichi found himself lost in it… were words he never believed anyone would tell him, before. Being called cute didn’t help the only worsening blush on his cheeks, either. He would slowly come to intertwine his fingers with Shuichi’s. “...Is Saihara-chan tr...trying to imply something?” His gaze softens, but there is still that hint of anxiousness in his eyes.

“I-I’m guessing it’s a bit more obvious by now, but…” He gives his hand a soft squeeze. He takes another second to just keep himself calm. Shuichi didn’t want to stammer at all once he finally says it. He looks towards Kokichi once more. “Ou… Kokichi.” Shuichi goes to cup his other hand. His thumb rubs the back of Kokichi’s palm gently. And that nervous look on his face… softens to a warm look in his eyes and a loving smile. “...I love you.”

Kokichi’s mouth is slightly agape. His eyes slowly widen and for a second, he gives Shuichi’s hand a tight squeeze. Did he hear that right, he wonders? Did he really hear Shuichi say just now that he loves him? “..........” Eyes lower to his lap. “...You better not be teasing me, Saihara-chan. Even to a liar like me, that’s a really cruel thing to lie about.” He doesn’t say it as if doubting Shuichi’s words: but rather, his anxiety making him believe such a worst case scenario could even happen.

“I am not. I would never be as heartless as to joke about this. I really do love you, Kokichi. For a long time, I have.”

Kokichi slowly looks back up at him. The way he says that, and the way he smiles at him: he knew for an absolute fact Shuichi meant every word he said. “A...Ah… pffft! Hahahaha!”

“Uh?” Shuichi was caught off guard when he suddenly started laughing. “Wh-What’s so funny?”

“N...Nothing, just: pffttt! Here I thought it’d be impossible for someone like Saihara-chan… to ever feel that way about me! He has a lot of friends… probably has other people crushing on him… then I find out he loves me! Has this been just a super long and incredibly realistic dream? Hahaha…!” Tears were streaming down his cheeks. But not from laughing so hard…. “Ha...a-ah…” His laughter dies down and he goes silent again. Sniffling, he wipes away the tears. At first, he didn’t know why he was suddenly doing so, but now he guessed it: he was just that happy. So overwhelmed from happiness; he couldn’t control the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“H...Hey. You okay? …Oh!” Next thing he knew, Shuichi was pulled into a tight hug. “K….Kokichi?”

Kokichi buries his face in Shuichi’s chest. Quiet sniffles leave him as he wipes more tears away, needing a moment to try readjusting himself. Shuichi feels warm in his hold… he didn’t want to let go. Once he felt he was okay enough to finally talk coherently, he looks up to Shuichi. “My beloved made me so happy just now, even I was at a loss for words… no fair! Pulling that kind of sneak attack on me!” He giggles, but then his voice softens again. “I guess you deserve a response. I…” He almost looked away from him, but forced himself to sit back up for a moment so he could look clearly at Shuichi. “....I love you, too, Sh...Shuichi. Just like how I stole your heart, you stole mine, so… you’ll have to take responsibility, mister!” He declares comically before quickly burying his face back in Shuichi’s chest. The smile that now adorned his face: Kokichi couldn’t remember the last time he was ever this happy. This was not what he expected to happen on his birthday… or at all, really. For once, just once: he was so happy to have been proven wrong.

“Kokichi…!” His initial reaction had him really scared he would regret confessing, but now hearing Kokichi in turn loves him.. In a burst of extreme happiness, Shuichi gives him a tight squeeze in the hug and pulls him even closer against him. His face is slightly buried in Kokichi’s hair, giggling in it. “Ah, I’m so...so happy right now, I-I… I was honestly so scared you maybe wouldn’t feel the same, you know…?”

“Yeah… if I had bad taste! Which I clearly don’t!” He snuggles up against him and nuzzles his head against his chest before eventually looking up at him. “To want to show me a special place of yours and confess to me, on my birthday, no less… what cheesy shoujo manga inspired you, huh? Nishishi!”

“H-Hey! I’m not hearing any complaining either way, am I?” He remarks while playfully poking Kokichi’s cheek, which makes the both of them start laughing. “So I… g-guess that makes you my boyfriend now, huh? Ahh…” Just even being able to say the word ‘boyfriend’ in regards to Kokichi makes him feel warm inside. “....Kokichi?” Shuichi goes to gently cup Kokichi’s cheek, gently stroking it. He leans in closer to his face before he softly mutters: “M...May I…?” Gazing at his lips for a second, it was apparent what he was hinting at.

“I-Idiot, you don’t need permission to kiss your b...boyfriend.” Which was his roundabout way of saying yes, he was more than okay with it. Kissing Shuichi was something he’s wanted to do for a long time.

Shuichi’s eyes slowly come to a close as he leans in closer. His lips softly press against the other’s, a soft sigh emitting from him. In turn, Kokichi also closes his eyes and leans more into the kiss. His heart was fluttering. Shuichi’s lips felt nice and soft to him… he wanted to bask in this as much as he could. Once they pulled away, Kokichi wraps his arms around his neck and… makes them both fall down. A surprised yelp leaving Shuichi in response, he was now laying on his back with Kokichi on top of him. “Ah...a-ahaha! Geez…” He quickly goes to wrap his arms around him, again. They softly nuzzle their foreheads together while getting lost in each other’s eyes. The look Shuichi gives him is filled with so much adoration and love. Kokichi gives him a similar look, bringing a hand up to stroke Shuichi’s hair. It felt soft and smooth as he combs his fingers through it.

“Shuichi always looks so attractive… it should be illegal. But, he’s mine now, so! I can have my beloved Shumai all to myself… and I’m not sharing!”

“Hehe… y-yes, Kokichi. I don’t want to share you, either. I’m all yours… and only yours. Once more, I love you… and Happy Birthday.”

With that, Kokichi leans in to initiate the kiss this time. A longer, more loving and passionate kiss. He’d joke about it, but: being able to do cheesy, lovey-dovey things with Shuichi from now on… he was looking forward to it. He was going to make sure to be a wonderful boyfriend for Shuichi, make him happy as he can… and in turn, Shuichi will absolutely do the same.

[coutelier]

Killer Aqua Bunnies

Another excerpt from the current draft of my WIP, featuring verbal utterances and Planet of the Tweens.

Killer Aqua Bunnies

Cash in hand, Kaya made her way to the green room, which somehow always disappointed her by not actually being green. It was predominantly beige with splashes of brown. At least the drinks were free and at least one of her band-mates was taking full advantage of that fact when she arrived. On most weeknights anyone could come in to play so long as they could strike at least three chords. There were seven people in the room, three women besides Kaya and another band made up of extremely pale boys dressed all in black.

Candace Mullin’s red face and flaming hair bounced up from the bar. “Hey Kay!” She beamed. “Why so blue?” It took Kaya a second to realize it wasn’t a genuine inquiry about her emotional state, but a reference to how she’d colored her hair. A girl with what looked like a badger on her head snorted - Kaya was sure she must have heard Ashley actually speak, once, but long ago she have just accepted Candace as her own mouthpiece. Candy certainly had a very forceful personality, only slightly amplified by drink.

“Why don’t you say hi to my new vampire friends?” Candace put her arm around and squeezed one of the boys lined up next to her, all eight sunken wide eyes staring straight ahead through the wall. The one in her clutches shivered at her touch, which only caused Candy to grin widely. “Hey, what’s wrong Nosferatu? You’re stiff as a corpse,” she chuckled, sliding a glass in front of him. “Maybe this’ll loosen you up. Or do you only drink blood? Not on the menu, I’m afraid. Unless,” shattered glass splintered their ears, all the goth boy’s hearts actually stopping for an instant. Candace brandished the remains of a bottle under the nose of her captive whose black mascara streamed down his face. “I could cut one of you open, if you like. Or do you all just like to dress up like these ancient bad asses, but really you’re just kids?”

They were all shaking, terrified, doing their best not to look as Candace toyed with them like a dog bothering sheep, like if they couldn’t see her she would disappear. Kaya needed to intervene before Candy went too far. “Hey!” she shot to the bar, pulling Candy away. “Come on, we’ve not even played yet, and you’re acting like this?!”

“Aw, come on! I wasn’t going to do nothing to him,” Candy promised, yanking herself back away from the furious Kaya. “You know what we should do, though? We should trash this place!”

“Great plan,” Kaya rolled her eyes, “you know, except for the part where Stan has us all murdered in our sleep. I don’t want trouble. I just want to play some music then get out of here.”

“Oh where’s your spirit of rock ’n’ roll?”

“This isn’t rock ‘n’ roll, you’re just being a b—” the word stuck in Kaya’s throat. She tried, but she couldn’t get it out. “You just need to cut it out, okay? Or we’ll all get chucked out.”

Candace raised her chin above Kaya’s, looking down her nose. “Why do you never swear?” She asked amusedly. “It’s only words you know.”

“I guess I just choose to use different words,” Kaya answered, not really sure where that came from.

“Huh,” Candace appeared to ponder. “Well whatever. It’s all cool. I was just messing around. Sorry. Hey Dracula,” she turned to the goths, “sorry I scared you. Now, Kay, why don’t you go and check on Sayuri? I can never tell if that girl’s asleep, or Asian,” she quipped, but only Ashley chuckled. Ordering Kaya to go check on the drummer was, Kaya knew, just a way of reestablishing that she was in charge. Kaya didn’t like how she’d said it, but she didn’t want any more trouble either. Candace turned to her phone, she and Ashley giggling probably over some troll posts they made. But there was no more immediate danger, so Kaya went to the corner of the room where Sayuri had her feet up and huge purple headphones over her ears, so she probably hadn’t heard Candy’s remark about her.

“Actually,” Sayuri yawned as Kaya approached, “I was asleep. I was having a lovely dream where Candy had a zipper over her mouth. She’s getting worse you know. Someone’s going to have to do something about her.”

Kaya dropped herself onto the bench next to her. “Not tonight,” she said, stretching her neck. “I’ve had a really bad day and all I want is to get through the evening with another tiff, catfight, or  any more mayhem. Think we can manage that?”

“Up to Candy right now, isn’t it?” Sayuri pulled her feet off the table then pulled her headphones down to hang about her neck.

“She’s not so bad,” Kaya said, not trying to lie but knew it wasn’t really true. “She’s just… energetic. You’ve just got to know how to talk to her.”

“You know,” Sayuri leaned forward, popping the cap from a bottle which she then handed to Kaya, “you sound like a mom making excuses for her rambunctious child.”

“Rambunctious?” Kaya accepted the drink, arching one of her blue brows.

“I read a thesaurus,” Sayuri shrugged. “So indict me. We got a crate of them back in the store, so if you want one I could knock maybe fifty per cent off the RRP. You know, because you’re a friend, and it’s never too late to aggrandize the lexicon of one’s verbal utterances.”

Sayuri’s family ran a store, Oshiro’s. They were general traders, buying and selling just about everything and picked up a lot of stock discarded by the much larger chains. On this occasion though the sales pitch was unsuccessful. “No thanks,” Kaya said, “I’ll stick to speaking like a human being. And I’m not making excuses, I just—”

“— want to play music, right?” Sayuri sighed.

“We’ve had this conversation before?”

“Three times. And each time you look more and more depressed by it.”

Kaya couldn’t deny that was how she felt. “It’s just, no matter what I try and do, I seem to always end up back here. I don’t know if it’s me or if I’m just cursed.”

Sayuri’s ears picked up at that, as anything vaguely spiritual or mystical always intrigued her. “Why would you think you’re cursed?”

“I’ve done some pretty mean things,” Kaya said, quaffing some of her drink. “Especially when I was a teenager.”

“Everyone does dumb stuff in their teens,” Sayuri assured her. “I once thought it would be a good idea to pay people to take bean tins from our store, then I’d make up the loss from all the other things they would buy. Madness.”

“I once pinned a girl to the bathroom wall so that Candace could write ‘Airhead’ on her forehead in lipstick,” Kaya frowned, her hand feeling the elf-arrow necklace she wore.

“Okay, well, that’s pretty bad,” Sayuri solemnly admitted. “I hope you got at least a detention for it.”

“Nope. That girl never told anyone what me and Candy did. I used to just do whatever she told me. Back then she seemed so strong and sure of herself all the time, and I… I wasn’t. Now—”

“— now you’re in your twenties, and she hasn’t matured at all, and you’re wondering where the hell your life is going? Am I right?”

“I guess,” Kaya sighed, knowing she was right.

“Well,” Sayuri gulped then put down her own bottle, “I’m not a psychiatrist, but sounds to me like you’re having a crisis of identity. An internal conflict between the person you’ve been and the person you want to be.”

“So what should I do?”

“Hell if I know. If I was a psychiatrist I’d probably prescribe some drug, marked up thousands of times from it cost to produce. How about some tea instead? Maybe if we got you relaxed for once you’d be able to think more clearly.”

Maybe, Kaya thought. It was nice to imagine tea having power to cause all the badness to leave her body in a thick, dark, cloud which was absorbed by crystals which could then be crushed and buried. Unfortunately she didn’t really believe in any of that. Another person entered the not-green green room, white blouse with black tights and skirt and puffy black hair. That was Amara. Stan Greif may have owned the place, but it was Amara who actually managed it and had to suffer Candace talking to her. Whatever was said, Amara wasn’t amused, and was less amused by the broken glass on the floor, but she grinned and bore it. After looking about the room to find everyone she announced, “Killer Aqua Bunnies, you’re on in ten.”

It was a silly name. “Why can’t we be babies?” Kaya moaned.

Sayuri looked very oddly at her. “You want to be a baby?”

“No! I just mean, why does everyone have to grow up? Things are great when you’re small. Nothing’s complicated. Every day is excitement and adventure and seems to go on forever. Why can’t we all just stay like that?”

“Well,” Sayuri considered, “if everyone just stayed a baby they would all die because they need adults to feed them. You’re basically fantasizing about the world being a huge baby graveyard. It’s kind of sick.”

Kaya hadn’t been, but now she was imagining an orange desert in which lay a giant baby skeleton. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. “Okay, but what if we stayed, like, ten or eleven years old? That’s good, right?”

“We’d still die out, eventually,” Sayuri pointed out, “and haven’t you read Lord of the Flies?”

“Why do want to crush my dreams? I was just trying to reminisce about being carefree and innocent.”

“I just think you’re romanticizing childhood too much. Kids act on how they feel, because they don’t understand consequences. So they can be sometimes very sweet, but sometimes brutal. Your little Planet of the Tweens would tear itself apart.”

“You never think the world’s tearing itself apart anyway? And that’s with adults in charge,” Kaya pointed out, and for a few seconds was unjustifiably pleased with herself for doing so.

“Ohh, such biting satire,” Sayuri remarked sarcastically. “Well maybe there’s your solution - you should go and write political cartoons.”

“You know I used to think you were nice,” Kaya grumbled. She peered sideways at Sayuri and after a moment each broke and shared a smile. “So if you dislike Candy so much, why do you hang out with us?” Although both Kaya and Sayuri had grown up in Irongate, they’d gone to different schools and only met a year ago when Sayuri responded to an ad for a drummer.

“I just want to play music,” Sayuri said, her eyes drifting across the floor to Candace who had gone back to tormenting the goths while Ashley silently approved everything she did. “There’s something very therapeutic about whacking stretched skin with a stick.”

Amara was wandering the room, too fed up and overworked to do anything about the bullying. “You guys hear?” She said as she came to Kaya and Sayuri’s table. “You’re on soon. And why are you looking so miserable?” Amara asked specifically of Kaya. “You don’t work here.”

“Kaya wants to regress everyone in the world to ten years old,” Sayuri explained, “and she thinks she’s cursed.”

“Right,” Amara nodded. She was probably used to hearing much stranger drunken or chemically influenced conversations. “Well, if it’s a curse bothering you, maybe you should go and see the witch.”

Kaya squinted. “What witch?”

“Madame Lumina?” Sayuri guessed.

“Nah,” Amara scoffed, “Lumina is a fake-ass hex. But my little brother, he says there’s a tower west of town. You take the main road over the bridge, then a dirt road heading north through the forest. Then there’s another trail that winds up a hill and up there is where the witch lives. No-one’s ever seen her though because if you get close you’ll hear howls and wails warning you to stay away, and if you keep going you’ll start to feel sick and lose your mind. No-one ever returns after that.”

“So,” Kaya thought, “if no-one’s seen her, how do they know she’s a witch? Or that anyone lives there at all?”

“You not hear me say howls and wails and shit?” Amara retorted. “Don’t make me repeat myself. Anyway, I’m just passing it along. Maybe it’ll help you, but it probably won’t. Now do me a favor - after you’ve been up there and played,” she glanced sideways toward Candace, now holding a goth by the neck and stuffing peanuts up his nose, “you take that trash the hell out of my club. And if she shows up like that again I’ll tear you all a new one.”

[hansolmates]

vernon; the boy next door (m)

genre/warnings: fluff/romance/smut, flangst, adorkableness, use of non-penetrative sex toys, (not so) dry humping

word count:  14737

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, Joshua, Jeonghan + various 

prompts: roommate!Vernon, silliness, cuddles, mac n’cheese = love 

(a/n) my birthday project for my muse. thank you for everything vern:) and kisses for @vernkn​ who gifed my soft sweater vernon aesthetic. enjoy!

She loved Joshua Hong.

When she was so graciously offered to live in her aunt’s vacation penthouse close to her university of choice, the only catch was that she had to pay some of the bills. Completely fair, because it was a kind enough gesture to give away a freshly furnished space to a niece you barely talked to. Luckily, there was enough room for another guest, enough to split the rent.

So in comes the savior of her life, brother from another mother, Joshua Hong, decked out in sandy beige Sperry’s and ironed white jeans. Fresh from South California, he wore their sunshine on his smile, and their attitude in his Cheshire eyes. He was attending the same university as well, and was conveniently looking for a means to stay. Needless to say, she pounced on him at orientation before he could ask anyone else.

They got along gracefully. They alternated between making dinner and doing dishes whenever it wasn’t take out (thin crust pizza was the ultimate favorite) and they put up socks on their doors for a polite “do not disturb”. To top it all off, they made sure to have a couple core classes together for some solid study buddy time. They passed their classes with relative ease (aside from Korean Grammar, which sucked for the both of them). It wasn’t until two years into their wonderful routine that Joshua had to break the spell.

“I think I’m going back to California next semester, for study abroad.” he said over dinner, cheeks glowing with excitement.

After he said those words, she wasn’t so sure if she loved him anymore.

She knew that this was ultimately the case, in fact she had helped him fill out the application and typed out a student recommendation for him. UCLA was begging for Joshua to come back home, and he theoretically already had his bags packed and ready to go. She knew Joshua was homesick, and she was too, but if Joshua could heal before senior year, she wasn’t going to stop him from going.

Rolling her peas from one sector of the plate to another, she glowered, “Can’t you just take me with you?” she sighed dramatically in an attempt to feign nonchalance, even though she honestly wasn’t feeling hungry anymore. She was going to lose her study buddy, and best friend after the fall semester ended. She didn’t even want to think about finding another roommate this late in the year.

“I know you’re going to miss me, who wouldn’t,” she shot him a playful glare, “But I already got everything covered, heck, I even got you a new roommate until I come back.”

She ceased the food race on her green veggies and looked up with deliberate slowness, as if he were being interrogated. “Wait, you found someone already?”

“Yeah,” he replied easily, taking a delicate sip of water.

“Did you do a background check? No criminal record, drug dealings, unpaid parking tickets?”  

“Trust me. He’s cool.”

“Josh, your version of cool is watching reruns of Full House on a Friday night, with ice cream and your boxers. Which is hella cool,” she giggled, reminiscing the times they’d laze around in over-sized sweaters, too numb to move as they recovered from midterms. “But can he clean?”

“Well, no. He’s kind of messy like you.”

“Oh great. We’re going to have a storm in here.”

“Just please, give him a chance? I owe him and I promised him the space for the semester. He’s pretty chill and I think you guys will get along!”

She glowered at his pleading gaze, hating the way Joshua can turn anyone into the enemy with that puppy-eyed stare and his pouty lips. She was just being bitter and nitpicky, they both knew that. In fact she was relieved that Joshua took the initiative and already found someone to fill up the space so she wouldn’t have to.

With a playfully flippant sigh, she said, “Alright Josh, he can live here. But if this guy starts pulling some horror movie shit in the middle of the night, I’m dragging your ass back here and you’ll be swimming from L.A.”

Joshua giggled, eating a lot more animatedly once he received her approval. “Don’t worry, Vernon’s cool.” he promised.

The enigmatic Vernon came gradually. He came in the form of the most random things, an old studio mixer Joshua needed help bringing in one day after class, and the day after it was a whole cardboard box filled with yellowed soft covers, all in English. Just yesterday, Joshua brought up a whole plastic shelf filled with flannels in what seemed like twelve different patterns and colors, along with a bottomless pit of over-sized shirts and sweaters. She had asked why Vernon didn’t bring his stuff to the apartment himself, and Joshua promptly responded that he’d come the day he’d leave.

“Why,” Joshua teased from his spot on the floor, opening up another box which was filled to the brim with baseball caps and snap-backs. “I thought you didn’t care about him.”

“I don’t,” she huffed, rolling off Joshua’s bed to help him unpack. “I just want to ask him why he has so much stuff.”

It was just plain annoying to have some random stranger’s things lying around her apartment, so she caved and helped Joshua move some of the things in his room. And yes, she was curious. When she put Vernon’s novels in some semblance of order on the shelves, her fingers would trail over the bent spines of his books, the yellowed glue beyond repair. And while she didn’t mind putting his flannels in the closet, the musky vanilla scent of his cologne still lingered on the collars and it was haunting her.

“Don’t worry, you’ll ask him soon enough.” Joshua cooed, pulling out his own suitcases to make room for her new roommate.

And finally, finally he arrived. The mystery named Hansol Vernon Chwe, was about to be solved. It was an ungodly hour in January, considering the new semester wouldn’t start for another two weeks. A loud beep from the security lock roused her, immediately regretting that she didn’t bother closing her bedroom door the night before. The sound echoed rudely past her duvet, and she suppressed a groan, stuffing her pillows against her head. She knew Joshua had a noon flight, and she needed to say goodbye, no matter how comfy her mattress was.

Rolling out of bed as quietly as possible, she sighed, attempting to make herself look presentable.

“Dude, how’re things? NYU treated you well?” she heard Joshua ask from the living room, extra pep lining his voice.

“Yeah, man. It was dope, real cool.” Vernon’s voice was nice, she noted, like molten honey. “A lot of shit’s been going on there, so take care of yourself, alright?”

“Don’t worry, I will.” she could only imagine the way Joshua’s eyes would curl up at the sweet comment. “And could you do me a favor, and take care of her? She doesn’t need taking care of, but she just make sure she doesn’t completely lose her mind over school.”

She snorted, running her hands through her hair as she checked her reflection one more time. This was the best it was going to get at 7AM, she shrugged. Vernon would just have to get used to her looking like a hot mess. Not giving the poor guy a chance to answer, she swung the door open, already prepared to give Joshua a snippy reply.

But what she wasn’t prepared for, was that Vernon was absolutely beautiful.

He looked up from their large couch, his amber eyes wide and attentive as he took in her pajama-clad figure. She felt the heat bloom on her cheeks, suddenly feeling terribly underdressed in her old sweater and leggings. How the hell was she going to live with this for a whole semester?

Vernon was the first to get up, meeting each other halfway as they shook hands. “Mornin’, I’m Vernon. When Josh told me about the apartment, I didn’t expect it to be a penthouse. It’s really nice.”

His palm was big and warm, and she bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from looking too frazzled. “Thank you,” she said, side eyeing Joshua who was sitting comfortably in the back. “It’s awesome to finally meet you.”

“Same, bro, same.” he chirped, flashing her a genuine smile, twinkling his pearly whites.

“Well, I got a plane to catch.” Joshua interrupted, unable to hide the happy grin filling his face. He was even dressed for the occasion, in a powder blue button down with a matching serenity long coat. His luggage was already lined at the door, only one carryon backpack and one larger luggage, because the rest of his stuff would be at his house in California.

That was enough for her to tear her gaze away from Vernon, and moved from her standing position, throwing herself over Joshua’s body. He made an “oomf” as they collapsed on the couch, the soft material causing them to sink like quicksand. She was probably wrinkling his ironed shirt and making him feel a tad guilty for leaving her behind, but living with Joshua Hong for two years kept you attached like a cat to its nip.

“Josh!” she cried dramatically, hugging him tightly. “I’m going to miss you, so freakin’ much.”

He laughed, the melodic sound tinkling in her ears as he softly pushed her away. “Stop making me feel bad, I’m not dying or anything!” he pulled her up, forcing her to get her jacket and shoes as he and Vernon were already doing the same. “Now quit being a terrible best friend and drop me off at school.”

“Don’t be so bummed now that it’s just me, I’m hurt.” Vernon piped in, clutching his heart with feigned disappointment. “I’ll take you to breakfast after, Josh mentioned you like pancakes?” he asked, already making a beeline to hold the door for her, with Joshua’s luggage rolling in his wrist.

Pancakes? If it was possible for Joshua to look any more oblivious, he would’ve been whistling and taking a dandy stroll down the hall like it was a cheap Disney knockoff. Sneaky Joshua gave her a side-eye, one that said, I know that look. It made her stomach flutter with an influx of freshly blooming butterflies, and she fought the urge to slap the smug grin off of his pretty little face. Flashing a forced smile to Vernon she managed to say, “That sounds great!” before throwing on her jacket, roughly zipping the fabric up to her neck as if she could disappear from her own embarrassment. For Joshua Hong’s last moments in Seoul, he wanted to reduce her to a humiliating mess.

The goodbyes were a happy affair, fortunately. Since Joshua’s family was waiting for him back home, he was probably the only Study Abroad student without a familial support system. It was just her and Vernon, giving Joshua much needed brofists and warm hugs. While she did have to blink more than necessary to shove away the tears that threatened to prick her eyes, she was happy for Joshua. UCLA was a great school, and she knew he’d have the time of his life there. She was going to support him to the very end, even if it was a billion miles away. When Joshua boarded the student bus to the airport, she and Vernon waved like idiots until that big bus got smaller and smaller.

Vernon and her stood standing at the University Gates, letting the rest of the farwellers glide by them like they weren’t even there. With Joshua gone and a full day ahead, she let her muddled thoughts solidify in her brain like hardened concrete. She was living with Vernon, for an entire semester, and it was all Joshua Hong’s fault.

Dammit, Josh. She shivered, shoving her hood over her forehead. Was it too late to sprint and catch that bus?

“It’s getting cold, should we go inside?” Vernon asked lightly, his eyes still focused on the open road. His hands were deep in his pockets, waving back and forth between the empty spaces in his heather grey sweatpants. He looked at her with a warm expression, tilting his head to generously meet her height. “I promised pancakes, right?”

She couldn’t help the slow smile that wormed its way onto her lips, the sharp air feeling a tinge warmer than it was five seconds before he spoke. “Yeah, there’s a good place back home, actually.” she replied, taking the first step.

He immediately synced up with her footing, falling into place like an eager child.

3.

“That barista,” Vernon whistled, elbowing her in the shoulder. “Was totally checking you out.”

“Are you kidding me?” she stage-whispered, using her napkin to smother her giggles. “He was totally checking you out.”

He gave her a funny face, cocking a threaded eyebrow and his smile tight and toothless. It only made her laugh harder. And it was absolutely adorable how his face pinked at the thought. “Well, he couldn’t be looking at me, since it was you who picked up the food. I was sitting here.” he huffed, his brows furrowed in forced frustration.

“But you went up to order the food. His eyes followed you all the way here.”

“He did not.” he stuck his tongue out, before shoving another helpful of strawberry pancakes in his mouth. She didn’t answer however, opting to lay back on her side of the booth with her arms folded over each other. Vernon’s chewing slowed, his cheeks comically full of pancakes, expanding like balloons as he turned his head to the storefront.

The barista in conversation was attracting the two of them like a honey bee to pollen. More curiosity on Vernon’s part, and more forced encouragement on her part. A little part of her didn’t really find much attraction to Barista Boy, no matter how cute he was, because she already had an amazing roommate right in front of her. Living with Vernon for the past few days was nice, to say the least. He was nothing but polite and sweet to her, even though she insisted that he could goof off and be grumpy in the morning if he really felt that way. He was infallibly kind, and even let her use the bathroom first every morning and night. Her heart couldn’t take the kindness, it was unreal. She was half-tempted to call Joshua and ask how on earth did he manage to get someone like Vernon to live with her, but decided that she could handle it on her own, at least for now.

Today was the last day they would be having pancakes here, they promised themselves after three days of self-indulgence. One yummy, carb-saturated breakfast before they went grocery shopping for the new semester.

The barista was bussing a table next to theirs, the onyx of his fringe reflecting the morning sunlight as he rubbed lemon sanitizer over the linoleum.

“I mean, he’s good looking.” Vernon shrugged, taking another stab at his pancakes before realizing he was already done with his plate. His lower lip jutted out in a burst of sadness, and he looked up through his copper lashes to hers, gesturing to her half-eaten plate.

She rolled her eyes, but slid the plate closer to him, knowing she probably wouldn’t finish everything anyway. Vernon greedily accepted the confection, and started cutting up another layer of ruby syruped pancakes. “Yeah, he is. Don’t know if I’d ask him out though, he looks a little sassy if you ask me.” she said tartly.

Vernon snorted, “How can you tell?” he asked, stabbing his fork into the last bits of the plate. The metal went through a large, juicy strawberry. He didn’t hesitate when he held it out to her, “You want the last one?”

“Sure.” she said, but once she reached out for the fork, he pulled back.

“Only if you ask the coffee guy out.” he teased.

“What, no way!”

“Excuse me. I have your bill.”

Both parties shut their mouths at the acidic drawl, coupled with a forced smile that chilled both their spines deep in the bone. The barista stood like a mannequin in the exact center of his table, pulling out a receipt from his neatly tied apron.

Vernon was the first to react, gratefully taking the slip of paper, “Thanks, man.”

“And for the record, if you’re going to talk about me please do it quietly. You’ve been staring for the past ten minutes. I know I’m good looking but hearing you two is terribly distracting.” and then he made a sharp turn on his heel, and sauntered back to his place behind the counter.

The pair could only gape at the barista like guppies until he was finally out of earshot, and they busted into a fit of laughter, their heads leaning as close as they possibly could with the table between them.

“You’re right, he is sassy.” Vernon said, relinquishing the last strawberry to her.

2.

When Vernon first moved in, she told him he could slack off with the niceties. It was okay if he forgot to brush his teeth, or get angry over nothing, or even fart around the house. She didn’t think after a month and a half into it, he’d slack off that way.

But here he was, eating cereal in front of the television in nothing but his boxers.

Their building’s central air system was undergoing maintenance today, causing the apartment to become unnecessarily hot and dry. That wasn’t much of a problem, whoever got up first could crack open a couple windows and call it a day. But Vernon didn’t seem to mind the extra heat one bit.

She however, was absolutely burning.

She didn’t notice at first, because she was incredibly invested in getting some breakfast before she could function like a human being. But looking up from the kitchen counter top, she was lucky to cap the milk in time when she spotted Vernon watching cartoons on the couch, completely and utterly in his element as he munched on Cheerios half-naked.

Water droplets clung to his chocolate locks, which were drying in a frizzy mess due to his natural waves. The moisture rolled off the tips of his hair like morning dew, landing in the dive of his pale collarbones.

He wasn’t terribly fit or anything, or had bulging muscles that could proverbially punch her in the face. But there were lines, definitive lean muscle that streamlined from the little pop in his biceps to the trace of abs that led to the dip in his red, white and blue boxers. Under all those soft hoodies and graphic shirts, were a set of broad shoulders that seemed to carry an unknown strength that could be overlooked at first glance. And his thighs, oh his thighs.

It caused her thighs to press tightly in response, the subconscious action that had her choking mid-bite on her own serving of Cheerios. She couldn’t believe herself, as she played off her spazzing by downing a glass of water. How could this man still be attractive when he’s just eating cereal, bobbing his head back and forth to the Spongebob theme song? Joshua used to walk around their apartment half-naked all the damn time, and she never felt the tingly heat that was practically disintegrating her panties into ash.

Her form of payback was probably a petty, lowest of the low comeback, but it was all she had. It was way too early for her to feel even remotely sexy, especially living with someone who always looked sexy without even trying, but she had to try. Tugging the sleep-shirt off her body in one swift pull, she balled up the worn cotton and bounded forward, throwing it in Vernon’s face.

He sputtered, effectively breaking the glazed, bleary-eyed stare he always had when watching mind-numbing television. He ripped the fabric off his face, and didn’t even notice that her sleeve was now drowning in his bowl of milk. “What did you do that for?” he asked, looking up at her for the first time today.

His jaw opened slightly at the sight of her, drinking in her body like she was the last drop of water on earth. She bit her lip to contain the swell of pride as he took in the scarlet lace bralette that covered her breasts, and the matching pair of cherry briefs that hugged every inch of her hips. His blushed matched her underwear like a carbon copy, dusting his cheeks and the shell of his ears. Vernon couldn’t even look at her in the eye, or take in another breath, for that matter.

She raised a brow, and with an air of confidence she had never felt before she said simply, “It too hot.”

And she sauntered away, with a little wiggle in her hips as she went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Once she was positive Vernon couldn’t watch her she let out an exhaustive breath she didn’t realize she was holding in, collapsing against the door. Her eyes glazed over the pearls of water still rolling on the shower glass, fresh from Vernon’s usage a half hour ago. She sighed at her too-damp underwear, leaning a hand to switch the handle to the hottest possible setting. She needed a reprieve, badly.

1.

“Wanna watch Sing Street?” Vernon asked one morning, pouring some apple juice in a glass cup.

The sun was a strong yellow-white against the penthouse, the curtains separated all the way to feed in from the edge of the window to the end of the hallway. It showed the disarray of papers that littered their coffee table, one half for her and the other half for his homework for the week. In the corner, there was a weathered leather journal, the burgundy burlap frayed at the corners and a hotel pen stuck dab in a dog-eared page.

She pulled her thick novel down, only far enough for him to see her eyes which were dull with disinterest. “I have to finish this book by tomorrow, and you have a Media Writing draft due by midnight. And I know you’re not done with it.” she chastised lightly, lifting the book back up.

“Gee, thanks Mom.” Vernon slumped from the counter, his elbows falling like limp noodles against the black marble. “But may I propose that watching movies may be conclusive to my learning? They inspire me.” he tried pointedly, lifting his nose in the air.

“You said that last night.” she drolled, her eyes tacked to the same five words that she had been reading for the past five minutes upon talking to him. He was terribly distracting. “And the night before.”

“I just haven’t found the right movie yet.” he argued with a pout, but he already knew that this conversation was futile on his end.

She sighed dramatically, a smirk pulling on the corners of her lips as she folded the book against her armrest, and patted the free space next to her. “C’mon, the only way you can get through your writer’s block is if you keep writing. Nothing’s going to change if you don’t try.”

“But you’ve read all my stuff this past weekend. They all suck.”

“The ‘pull up on your wacks’ line wasn’t the best one, but it’s a start?” she started to get frustrated, she knew if Vernon wasn’t going to work he’d keep prodding at her to procrastinate with him. And if she left him here to sort it out for himself, he definitely would be holding it off until an hour before the due date. “Now can you please sit here and try?”

“I’m stressed! This class wants me to pump out lyrics like I’m a factory!” he genuinely did look fried, his face paler than normal and god knows when the last time it was since he brushed his hair properly.

“Then take a nap.”

A little lightbulb went off in his head, and Vernon didn’t have to confirm or deny his next actions when he skidded in his orange tube socks across the kitchen and into the living room. He swung his arms back and forth like a top, the long arms of his baby pink sweater dangling past his hands like tentacles. He hovered over the couch, tilting his head at the book she was trying to read, hoping she’d get the message. Unable to stay strong under his gaze, she folded the book between her fingers, and looked up.

“Can I put my head in your lap?” he asked innocently, his lower lip worried in a pout.

She squinted her stare at his big brown eyes, expressively vulnerable and absolutely desperate for a way to relax. How could she say no to that face? Her eyes drifted to her lap, thankfully covered by a large pair of cotton sweatpants. Propping her feet on the coffee table for support, she patted her thighs. “Knock yourself out.” she murmured, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible.  

Vernon dove on the couch, a small grin on his face. He moved like an eager puppy, falling unceremoniously on the beige cushions as he let his long legs dangle off one arm. His head descended with a feather-like slowness on her plush thighs, looking up at her.

“Hi.” he chirped.

“Hey.”

“So, nice view from down here.”

She bumped his nose lightly with the spine of her book, causing him to wrinkle his face in a cute scrunch. “Can I read now, Vernon?” He let his head settle into a comfier position, and he nodded, letting his eyes flutter shut.

It was hard to concentrate at first, with the way he looked so handsome with his long copper lashes fluttering closed, and the worry lines dissipating into his forehead. A tender smile wormed its way onto her face, the kind of smile she could only show when he wouldn’t notice. With her one hand holding her book, her other started to tap awkwardly on her side until she decided to just fuck it and run her hands through his messy whiskey tinted tresses. It was rough with peachy scented pomade, but soft enough to not get any painful snags.

He hummed in appreciation, a semi-conscious plea for her to continue. She did so gladly, her nails treading light patterns along his scalp as she read through her novel. His weight on her lap was welcoming, and in fact she would probably let him sleep on her lap until her legs were blue and numb if it all so pleased him.

Not an hour hour later that Vernon started shifting in her lap, looking well-rested. She felt the blood return briefly to her thighs as he tilted his head back and forth, and her hand managed to re-thread between his hair. She played with the strands absentmindedly as she let him rouse.

A gummy smile melted on his lips, eyes still fluttered shut. “Mm, s’feels good.” he murmured, his throat thick with sleep.

Like little hazel fans his eyes gradually blinked open, and she smiled wryly as her eyes met his caramel ones. “Are you well rested, Sleeping Beauty?”

“Well I don’t know about beauty, but like I said it’s a pretty nice view from down here.” he chuckled, his voice rumbly. He threw a hand over his eyes, covering the remnants of sunlight as it ticked to noon. Her hand still lingered on his oakwood hair, since he seemed to like it when she continued. “Can you do me another favor, Best Roommate in the Universe?” he asked hopefully. “My notebook is by your foot, can you give it to me?”

She scoffed, pushing her top half forward to grab the book on the edge of the glass coffee table. She felt her stomach curl up by Vernon’s face, who for some reason refused to move from his spot on her lap. She hoped he couldn’t feel the palpable fire in her body when she felt his nose press into the dip between her stomach. Grabbing the leather by the spine, she placed the book on his chest. “So the nap helped?” she asked, poking the softness of his cheek.

“Yeah,” he replied wistfully, opening a crisp page. “I suddenly got a burst of inspiration.”

This sort of routine was getting to her brain. Her growing crush on Vernon wasn’t doing much to help either. She was able to keep herself in check the busier the semester got. Either Vernon or her would return home at wayward hours in the day, or in the wee hours of the morning. Oftentimes Vernon would collapse on their couch after a long bout of morning classes, while she’d be halfway out the door for her round of evening classes. Usually Sundays would be their downtime together, with low-maintenance breakfasts and long television marathons.

She hadn’t seen Vernon all day, she mused one Friday evening, unpacking her backpack and dumping everything on her unmade mattress. He did have a heavy load today, and by now he’d be home sleeping. Her phone vibrated under her duvet, and her screen glowed with a funny picture of her and Vernon, taken one sleepy Sunday morning. His face was scrunched in a duck face, while she was giving him a hard case of RBF over his shoulder.

Soonyoung throwin a highlighter party nd i deserve a break. B home late

She texted Vernon a quick “have fun” before throwing her cell on top of her hamper, breaking away from her final distraction of the evening. A highlighter party sounded fun, she smiled grimly, looking at the array of lecture notes and scanned textbook pages circling her mattress. Another night, she’ll have fun, she promised herself, diving headfirst into her homework.

It was around 2AM when her alarm clicked in recognition, the front door swaying open. Five pages into her first draft, she ceased her typing and rubbed her fingers to relieve the cramping.

Within seconds, there was a muted bump against the wall between the two bedrooms, and a distinctly female moan.

She felt her whole body chill, the only thing she could detect moving in her body was her heart which panged all the way to her stomach. Her door was open a crack, a sliver thin enough to make her all too hyper aware of the bubbly giggles the couple were exchanging outside. Another thump, and the rustling of clothes. In seconds, a deep muffled groan was echoed throughout the floor. Vernon’s.

They never spoke much about bringing guests home. Sometimes Seungkwan would study over, and she liked him because he’d tell her all the stupid things Vernon did when they were roommates freshman year. Whenever Jihoon needed to pass out in a place other than the studio, he’d take the couch for a couple hours, and Vernon always liked when they could share music advice. Those kinds of guests were always welcome. But this wasn’t anything like Seungkwan or Jihoon. It was someone Vernon was definitely into, and someone who wanted to do more than just simply spend the night. And it wasn’t her.

She rubbed her eyes together, digging the heel of her palm into her face in an attempt to prevent the sting of tears that were threatening its way forward. She wasn’t going to cry over this, she kept chanting in her head. But the mere thought of knowing that Vernon was with another girl, while she was suffocating in her room, subjected to hear and imagine just a thin wall away was just—

Wiping the first frustrated tear, she closed her laptop as quietly as possible, tucking it in her backpack. Shoving on her slippers, she waited until Vernon’s door squeaked shut, before shuffling out her door, careful to not make a single audible breath. In the moonlight from the window, she caught Vernon’s navy flannel on the floor, and the girl’s jacket. Both articles of clothing had neon handprints on the sides, a bitter reminder of the events that had conspired to this very moment.  Biting her lip, she shook her head and left the apartment, making sure to close it as quietly as possible.

The café was open, currently running its graveyard shift into the lone hours of the morning. To her irony, Barista Boy was the only one there, scrolling on his phone by the register. He stood out like a beacon against the low-lit shop, all pretty and pristine in his white uniform. He started in his bench when she opened the door, looking up through his bangs like she was probably his first customer all evening.

“Uh,” she slided up the register, wondering how on earth she ended up here past 2AM. “What’s the Wi-Fi?”

If Barista Boy took any notice of her slightly pinked nose and glassy eyes, he didn’t bother making it apparent. “You’ll have to order something first before I divulge that top secret info.” he drawled, lifting an eyebrow.

Fighting the urge to not go up and arms and just find another place to vegetate in, she put her laptop down on the counter, and pulled out her wallet. “Okay. Do you still have slices of that black forest cake with the ganache?”

“We do.” and he promptly accepted her card, letting the plastic glide through his register, “You know,” he murmured thoughtfully, returning her card and receipt, “I would’ve imagined your boyfriend would be here with you, since you two always get breakfast here.” he added offhandedly.

“Ah, well.” she laughed bitterly, shoving her card in her leather pouch. “He’s just my roommate. We live on the top floor, actually. And if he were my boyfriend, he wouldn’t be fucking someone else while I’m here ordering cake.”

A low whistle escaped his pale orange toned lips, curled in a slight smirk. “So, I guess I’m cutting a big slice then.” he said loftily, gesturing a pale hand to a booth in the corner. “Sit there, and there only. I’m trying to clean as little as possible tonight.”

Shooting a glare in his retreating back, she figured she didn’t have any need to argue at this point, she turned to his booth. She spotted open biology and medical textbooks that littered the booth, arranged in a semi-circle. Pulling out her laptop, she copied the Wi-Fi specs from her receipt and opened up Skype. Drumming on the linoleum, she clicked on the call button.

It only took a matter of seconds before her screen switched to a plain-looking dormitory, and in the middle of it a very tired-looking Joshua Hong. He was still in bed, half his face submerged in a pillow, his phone probably propped up against something. She couldn’t really make a clear image with the dim lighting, the sun muffled between the blinds, but she could make out the distinct lavender color tinting his hair. That was new. “Whoa,” she whistled at the pretty purple strands, “what has college done to you, Joshua Hong Kong?”

“Mmph,” he murmured with a sleepy smile, “Hi.”

“Hi.” his face already made her feel better. “I love you.”

“Love ya too.” he yawned, throwing a hand forward to adjust his camera angle. “But why are you awake? And why aren’t you home, isn’t it like 3AM in Korea?”

“Well, yeah,” she flushed, tucking her feet under the booth and crossing her legs. “But I missed you, Josh.”

At that moment, Barista Boy decided to graze her with his presence, placing a wooden tray in between their work spaces. There was a large chocolate cake slice, so big that it was probably one quarter of the entire cake, and two glasses of water. Barista Boy’s eyes traveled to her computer screen. “Oh, hi Jisoo.” he said lightly, taking the seat opposite hers.

“You know Josh?” she asked, her eyes widening at Barista Boy, who was currently re-diving into his schoolwork.

“The real question is, why don’t you know Jeonghan.” Joshua cut in, a jesting smile on his petal pink lips. He looked a lot more awake now, the pillow tucked away and him leaning against the wall. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re at the shop this late.”

“Oh, that’s because her roommate is, and I quote ‘fucking someone else’ and she’s bitter and jealous.” Barista Boy, now Jeonghan, butted in loud enough for Joshua to hear, his eyes still glazed over his textbook.

She groaned, throwing her head on the table. She heard a short skkrt and looked up briefly, noting that the chocolate cake was pushed closer to her side. Taking the proffered fork, she took a hard stab in the middle of the slice.

“Wait, really?” Joshua asked, sitting up fully. “You like Vernon? I totally called it.”

“This is all your fault.” she cried, shoving a piece in her mouth. She gave herself a few seconds to relish in the sugar and cocoa, closing her eyes to savor the taste. She frowned, pointing the empty fork in the camera. “Vernon is dreamy as fuck. He walks around half-naked all the time, he’s always offering to let me use the bathroom first, and he sleeps with his head in my lap at least three times a week. He says it inspires him, whatever that means.”

“Oh, damn. Wait, does that mean I can’t live there anymore?”

“Josh!” she whined, taking another cut at her cake. “I can’t take the emotional stress. He’s too nice and sweet and I’m too jealous and petty.”

“Maybe you should go talk to him.” Joshua tried, being ever the mitigator. “Well, I mean, not while he’s having sex with someone. Wait, did you really feel the need to leave? Whoa, you must like him that much.” a silly grin appeared on Joshua’s face. “You like-like him.”

“Yes, I like-like him. And I would love for you to not-not rub it in my face.”

“I’m sorry, I have class in a half hour.” she tried not to sigh as she watched Joshua pull on a coat, not bothering to change from his sweatpants and light long-sleeves with the UCLA logo embroidered in gold and blue. “But just tell it to him straight, alright? I wouldn’t lose hope just yet.” he gave her one last hopeful smile, his eyes crinkling together.

The Skype call turned black again, and she pushed her laptop away, bringing the cake closer to her. Talking to Joshua always made her feel better, and while she wasn’t too keen on talking to Vernon at the moment, she knew she’d have to come back to the penthouse sooner or later. She looked over to Jeonghan, who was diligently doing his readings, his gazed glued to the page. Biting her lip, she begrudgingly tugged her laptop back to her and opened her documents to her rough thesis. It was going to be a long night.

As the sun melted from the evening’s lilacs and silvers to golds and scarlets, she was sorely reminded that she had to face reality. At the very least, it wasn’t in vain. Her first draft was done, and if she was lucky enough she could sneak back in while they were still sleeping. So with a hot cup of tea shoved in her hand, Jeonghan kicked her out and insisted that she couldn’t come back until she sorted herself out.

Taking a deep breath, she tried not to think too hard at the fact that she had been staring at her front door for a full minute. The tea was already getting lukewarm in her grasp, and she willed herself to move forward. Punching in the passcode to the penthouse, she opened the door slowly.

“Good morning!” someone sing-songed.

Speak of the devil. She forced a smile at the pair, who were most definitely awake. Trying to not throw her laptop too hard on the couch, she kicked off her slippers, her feet feeling like thick mud as she willed herself to walk forward.

“This is my roommate,” Vernon said from the stovetop, her apron tied around his waist. “And this is Jungyeon.”

“Hi!” his girl from last night chirped, sending her a pretty smile. This girl was absolutely gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. She was wearing Vernon’s white oversized t-shirts, with neon highlight splashes of hot pink and yellow, showing off long glossy legs that went on for miles. She tried not to stare as they dangled over her counter, since she was sitting on her tabletop. Jungyeon’s hair was in a messy chestnut pixie cut, and deep down she knew Vernon secretly had a thing for short hair. Her happy disposition just put the crème on top, she could definitely see Vernon with an effortlessly pretty girl like her. A small plate was in her hand, as she happily munched on a pancake.

Pancakes, Vernon made fucking pancakes for her. She couldn’t even remember the last time Vernon made breakfast for her. What, did he treat all his one night stands to a homemade breakfast and send them on their merry way?

“You’re so lucky Hansollie’s your roommate,” Jungyeon cooed, running a finger on a ribbon of maple syrup. “Do you get to eat like this everyday?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” she said, momentarily dumbfounded at the thought that Vernon could find initiative to make meals other than Cheerios. “He’s a great roommate, actually.” she added, knowing at the very least that would never be a lie.

Vernon turned off the stove and turned to the ladies, holding two plates of pancakes in his hands. She could’ve sworn that Vernon was shooting her some kind of look, his eyes hard and concentrated as he tried to read her. “So,” he said, feigning nonchalance as he placed the plates on the marble, “Where have you been?”

“Just picked up some tea.” she managed to say, holding up her cup for confirmation.

Jungyeon hopped off the counter, placing her dish in the sink. “Well, I have a club meeting to get to. It was nice meeting you,” and in a matter of seconds, Vernon’s face morphed in a scarily cheery facade, up until Jungyeon got on her tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on Vernon’s cheek. “And thank you for breakfast.” she poked his chest lightly, before whipping herself around, popping on a pair of leggings that were folded on the couch. Jungyeon hummed to herself as she slipped on her shoes and left, the melodic song nothing but jarring against her ears. Jungyeon was a good singer, but she was distracted by Vernon’s sudden re-glare, freezing her stiff on her side of the counter. They stood in a fixed position, both unable to move as they looked at each other with anticipation. Vernon was expecting answers, while she was trying to think of all eighty-two ways she could make it to her room without dying of painfully awkward conversation.

The door slammed shut, and they were finally alone.

“You didn’t come home last night.” Vernon said automatically, like a switchblade waiting to go off.

“I just told you, I went out for tea.” she subtly pushed herself against the counter, wishing she could just phase right through through the marble and walk out of this already discomforting conversation.

“No, you didn’t. I heard the alarm go off after you left.  If you didn’t want me to bring anyone over you could’ve said something.” he reasoned levelly.

“I don’t care if you bring anyone.” she lied smoothly.

“Then why did you leave?” Vernon asked, his frown deepening and his brows furrowing. He looked genuinely distressed, his cinnamon eyes pleading.  

“I just didn’t want to be around, okay?” she said, feeling more and more vulnerable under his gaze. “You’re entitled for all the privacy you need.”

“Excuse me for caring.” a cynical smile appeared on his face, and he squinted his eyes, trying to decipher the situation. She hated how Vernon could be so inquisitive, and she hated how readable she felt. “We didn’t have sex last night, if that’s what you’re worried about.” he said purposefully, testing the waters.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” liquid heat burned at her cheeks. “So are you telling me it’s my fault you didn’t get some?”

Disarmed at the sudden jab, he glowered, “No.”

“Then why are you telling me this?”

“Obviously because I was worried!” he blurted, throwing his hands in the air. “My friend leaves our house in the middle of the night without telling me. I sent a bunch of messages and calls, and by the time I realized you left your phone here,” he pulled her cell out his pocket, sliding it to her side of the counter, “Jungyeon fell asleep and I had a massive headache. You could’ve been murdered and I would’ve never known. I didn’t even sleep, I struggled for hours making pancakes to keep myself distracted!”

“You’re over-exaggerating.” she said feebly, feeling her heart swell without her consent.

“So are you.” Caught. Vernon crossed his arms, and for a second he looked incredibly proud of his lecture. But she could see it, the minor defeat in his eyes, because he still wasn’t satisfied with her vague answers. The air had changed considerably in the room, and suddenly the pancakes weren’t looking so delicious, and her peaceful weekend wasn’t feeling so peaceful.

“I need to go sleep.” was the only thing she could say, rubbing her two fingers between her forehead. “I really don’t want to fight right now.”

“Right.” Vernon replied tersely, breaking away from her to sit at the table. “You’re tired because you stayed up somewhere else.”

“Right.” she mimicked. She wasn’t ready for this, but she was okay with being honest. Like Joshua had said, tell it to him straight. “I stayed somewhere else because I couldn’t bear the thought of you with another girl in the room next to mine.” she turned away because she didn’t want to see his reaction, unable to help the words that were tumbling like quicksand.  “Maybe before, when we weren’t so close before.” she said forlornly, her voice dropping to a whisper, “But not anymore, because I know it isn’t worth my tears.”

Biting her lip, she hugged herself and made a beeline out of the kitchenette. If there was any indication of Vernon following her gaze like a stricken animal all the way to her bedroom, she didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking back. With a tight slam of her door, she threw herself on the bed, hoping it was all just one awful nightmare.

It was one long nightmare.

The weeks following her painfully awkward. For the most part it was easy to avoid each other during the weekdays, giving each other small “hi” and “byes” in passing. And the times that they were together, they managed to feign tight smiles and somewhat happy dispositions when it couldn’t be helped. Vernon would sometimes bring leftover pizza back when he came home early, and she would drop a strawberry smoothie by his backpack when she’d come back from the shop. It was like playing house as a kindergartner, slipping into the routine whenever it was playtime, but wholly noncommittal. She had to admit, Vernon was at least trying to return to some semblance of normalcy.

(“Okay, so I’m totally vibing this.” she pretended not to notice the way Vernon was walking back and forth across the living room as he clutched his Creative Writing notebook, digging a rut in the rug as he paced. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking to her or himself, looking like a mad scientist caught in the workings of an epiphany.

“You’re so ice ice baby,” he chanted, bobbing his head back and forth to his mental beat.

“Way to go, Vernilla Ice.” she heard herself reply, something niggling in her chest to continue the conversation.

“Ouch,” he flinched audibly, “Quit being such a hater.”

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling her textbook closer to her face.

“It’s fine. For whatever reason, whenever you’re around I always want to write new things.” and with open air, he stopped pacing and his hickory gaze lingered on her for a second too long, hoping to elicit some sort of response from her. It was true that she couldn’t ignore him, and holing up in her room for days on end was just plain rude.

He didn’t want her to feel embarrassed, and she knew Vernon was the most honest person she could ever meet and would want her to talk things out. But it didn’t stop her from feeling like she needed to put up walls, at least for now, and in response Vernon had no choice but to give her space, no matter how much he wanted her around. When she sunk further into the couch, refusing to reply, he sighed, reading from his lyric book once more.

“You brush my thoughts and sweep my sleep away.” he rapped under his breath.)

Jungyeon was never seen or heard from ever again, and every trace of her was removed from the apartment. She tried asking if Jungyeon and Vernon were a thing, but Vernon always gave a vague shake of his head, looking annoyed at her prodding. It was like she never happened. Conversely, Seungkwan, Jihoon and their other friends became visiting at even higher frequencies, hoping to defuse the tension by reminding them that everything was going to be alright. On the weekends, whoever was free would pick a movie and they’d watch. Those days were easier.

(“Hm,” Jeonghan walked over to the freezer like he owned the place, pulling out an ice cream pint. “You guys got a new fridge?”

“Jeonghan, what the hell? You’ve been here before?” she asked.

“Has Jisoo told you nothing?” he hummed noncommittally, and she watched him take a dessert spoon out of the correct drawer.

Vernon tilted his head, watching their guest maneuver around the apartment like it was his. “Wait, how did you know where the spoons were?” he inquired, looking genuinely confused. “Do you just sneak in whenever you feel like it?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, pushing up the sleeves of his sky blue button down. He opened another random cupboard. “No, I’m sure the alarm would’ve alerted you.” Vernon didn’t seem to notice the slight jab, as he watched Jeonghan pull a pack of Twix bars from a hidden corner. “Jisoo’s chocolate stash.” he said like it was the simplest thing in the world, chucking the bars in Vernon’s hands.

“Ohmygodohmygod these are my favorite!” he started jumping up and down like an excited kid, ripping out a bar for himself.

She allowed herself to back away from the conversation, and walked over to the edge of the counter, sitting on a stool. Her eyes watched the pair get along with each other surprisingly well, and she couldn’t help but stare as she watched Vernon’s excitement as he shoved the chocolate in his mouth, cheeks puffy and eyes twinkling. She missed his smile.)

(“Wait, what is this?” Seungkwan barged into their penthouse, carrying their mail in one hand and a medium-sized box on the other.

“Oh, I ordered a dress online.” she said plainly, holding out her arms for her things.

“This brand makes really nice stuff.” Seungkwan ignored her, walking past her and shutting the door with his sock-clad toe. Instead of giving the package to her he threw it on Soonyoung’s lap.

“Oh,” Soonyoung worked on ripping open the packaging, pulling out his keys. “You need to try this on.”

“What?” she scoffed, “I’ll do that later and send a picture. I wanna watch the movie.”

“Nope,” Seungkwan gave her a no-excuses expression, his lips pursed expectantly. “It’ll only take like, five seconds to put on.”

“But–”

“Six seconds because you won’t shut up.”

“Gah!” she stomped over to Soonyoung, and snatched the open box from him, and went into her room.

After a timely six seconds, at least that’s what she garnered from Seungkwan repeatedly calling her to get out of her bedroom, she stepped into the living room. She felt ridiculous, wearing a pretty dress without makeup and a good reason to go out. But she couldn’t deny what the mirror was showing her, it was indeed a great outfit.

Seungkwan was already at her door, tugging her to the center of the living room. “Twirl,” he instructed sharply, wiggling his one finger like she was a prima ballerina.

Junhui whistled lazily from his cross-legged from the floor. “Whoa, you look hot.”

“Seriously smokin’.” Soonyoung’s eyes minimized to crescents, giving her a thumbs up.

Seungkwan nodded, and then twirled her around to face Vernon. She didn’t even realize he had come out for movie night. “What do you think, Vernonie? Doesn’t she look pretty?” he asked, raising both brows towards his good friend.

His head was downcast, legs spread across the single cushioned chair. His fingers moved like lightning over his iPhone, before he huffed away and forced himself to look up. Vernon blinked, the air around them defrosting, his face in momentary awe. Vernon’s eyes glazed up her body, the way the cherry red skirt clung to her thighs, and the dip of her waist between the black silky v-cut crop. She had never felt so naked while clothed in her life, and she tucked an arm under her stomach self-consciously.

Vernon coughed, hiding his blush. “Yeah,” he mumbled, turning on his phone again, “She looks gorgeous.”)

Vernon became a blip in her radar this past week, blurring past stacks of infinite novels and various papers from different classes. She wasn’t purposefully avoiding him, but it was awfully easy when she could occupy herself with so many things. School was encompassing her like a boa, tighter and tighter as the round of second exams were looming with impending doom. Her eyes were devoid of glimmer and light as she typed autonomously, trying to burn through her research assignments as fast as possible.  But she was numb and fresh out of tea, and she couldn’t even remember the last time she got up to go to the bathroom, or leave the building.

Her phone buzzed with urgency against the glass counter, and she immediately startled herself, blinking back to reality. She snatched the phone off, the picture of Vernon and her waiting expectantly. With a soft inhale, she answered it. “Hello?” she half-whispered.

“Hey,” Vernon’s rumbly voice filled her ears like a familiar lullaby. It had been awhile since they had a proper conversation. “Where are you?”

“East Library.” she replied, her eyes trained on her open document,  enticing her to keep working.

“Oh, you said that when you left this morning.” he said with a sort of disappointed awe, as if he were hoping she’d reply with something a little bit more positive. “Are you coming home soon? I made dinner.”

“You made dinner?” she asked, jaw dropping slightly.

“Yes, is that such a hard concept?” she could practically hear his smile from the line, and she rested her forehead against one of her books. “It really sucks eating alone.”

“Yeah, it’s just that I’ve been working on this paper and I wanna finish it.”

A hand slammed on her laptop lid, closing it shut. Her head snapped up to yell at the offender, but it turned out to just be Vernon, his phone in hand. She was a little dazed, in disbelief at the thought Vernon waited to pick her up and take her home. He looked incredibly proud of himself, a wide pearly white grin tacked on his face. He was dressed in his black long coat, with a fluffy grey turtleneck and cuffed blue jeans. “C’mon, let’s go home.” he said, already packing up her stuff and throwing it haphazardly in her backpack.

“I told you I wanted to finish.”

“Ah-ah. But I left the oven on, so we gotta hurry.”

“You left the oven on!?” she hissed, her eyes widening in horror. “What the hell, why would you do that?”

“Because I said I made dinner! So we gotta go before I burn up the entire apartment,” Vernon could not hide his shit-eating grin, throwing her bag over his shoulder and urging her out the door. He had a large golf umbrella in his hand, and undid the strap. “I bet you didn’t even realize it’s raining.”

She barely got half her coat on when Vernon was pulling her out the library gates, muttering something about them having less than ten minutes before the oven went off. His lip was worried in a pout, muttering something about “getting the recipe” right as he pressed the button on his scarlet umbrella, putting it over the both of them. Vernon was suddenly reeling forward at a breakneck pace, his sneakers sloshing against the cobblestone. She fought to clutch his arm and keep up, her shoes having no chance against this awful weather. The rain fizzled around them, looking like little diamonds bouncing against the pavement. She focused on that, hoping she wouldn’t be reminded that she was getting a little too close to Vernon for comfort, but it was all in practicality. After a timely four minutes half-sprinting back, they made it to their complex, somewhat dry.

Upon entering the apartment, instead of a burning home she was met with the most heavenly smells to meet her nose in weeks. Buying take-out and making ramen weren’t the most ideal types of nourishment, but they kept her sated and it was quick.

And even the table was set up. She tried not to snort too hard at one of their larger table napkins, folded in a lopsided crane. She took a seat at the marble counter, pulling up the stool as she watched Vernon fuss over a glass container and bring it to the center of their table. He then rushed back to grab some bread in the toaster oven, putting it over their respective cooling racks. Pulling off his mittens, he took a spatula and started cutting at the macaroni and cheese. It was a gorgeous meal, with at least five different shades of cheese and a sizable layer of golden bread crumbs on top.

“You made this yourself?” she asked, mouthwatering as he set one section on her plate.

“Mm, yeah. I FaceTimed with my mom while I did it,” he said bashfully, taking a seat and cutting his own piece. “It’s my aunt’s recipe.”

“Really, and what did she say?”

“She was like, ‘really Han, really? Why haven’t you cooked for us?’ and now I need to take a trip to Hongdae this weekend so I can cook for them.”

“That sounds fun, actually!” she remarked, cutting up some pasta with her fork. Blowing on her serving, she popped the first bite in her mouth. Her mind buzzed, warmth immediately flooding to her senses, and she couldn’t help but let a little moan of delight seep from her lips. “Vernon, this is amazing! You definitely need to go home and cook it.”

Vernon gave her a little crooked half-smile, looking shy as he picked at his own plate. “Yeah, I will. Would you like to come with me?”

She could feel herself ready to choke on her own dinner, and she slowed her chewing, tilting her head in confusion. “Really?” she asked, mildly confused. “You’d want me to come home with you?”

“Well, yeah, why not?” he flushed, stuffing a mouthful of pasta in his mouth. She wasn’t even so sure if he was tasting his own creation properly, as he was chewing like his life depended on it, and swallowing so hard she could hear it going down his throat. “Besides, since you’ve let me stay in your home, I would love for you to visit my home.”

The meaning of “home” pinched in her gut, and she held her metal fork with an iron grip, feeling the need to hold onto something concrete. Even though this was the first real conversation they’ve had for weeks on end, he still wanted her to hang out with him, and even go home with him. Go to his world, meet his family, and know more about him.

Vernon took her stunned silence as rejection, and started sputtering out of control. “I—I mean you don’t have to if you don’t wanna! My sister can get kind of annoying, but I mean all little siblings are annoying anyway. But there’s a guest room downstairs so you can have lots of privacy if you need it—you haven’t said yes though, but the offer is always open—”

“Vernon,” she pleaded, willing him to calm down.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll go home with you this weekend. I’m sure your family is wonderful.”

Vernon’s face melted into sheer happiness, and it made her heart swell knowing that it was the first time in a long time that he had smiled at her so sincerely. She missed him, she missed having him around. “They are wonderful.” he said tenderly, trying not to look too sentimental by forcing more mac down his throat. “You’ll love them.”

“If they’re as great as you are, I’m sure I’ll love them.”

“So, we’re cool now?” he asked, biting his cheek. “For realsies.”

“For realsies.”

He suddenly leapt from the table like a frog, pushing his stool back so he could wrap his arms around her in a warm hug. She laughed, pushing him away while he only held on tighter, rubbing his cheeks with hers. “I knew food would bring us back together!” he cheered, rocking them back and forth so hard that she thought she was going to slip off her seat.

“Yes Vernon, Food is Life. Please get off me because you smell like cheese!” she giggled, shoving him with both hands.

The boy still clung to her like glue, his hands grasping her shoulders in a comfortable grip. The only thing she could focus on was how close Vernon’s face was to hers, and arm’s length, enough to make out the sincerity in his golden brown eyes. “For the record, Jungyeon means nothing to me. I was drunk that night, and I know it’s no excuse.” he squeezed her shoulders once in an attempt to release the sudden tenseness in her muscles. It was the first time Jungyeon was mentioned since she had come over. “I’m sorry it bothered you, I was annoyed at myself too.”

“It’s alright.” she heard herself murmur, momentarily stunned at the confession.

“I’m glad we’re okay.” he squeezed her shoulders one more time, before he returned to his chair and helped himself to a second serving of pasta.

Dinner continued like normal, with light conversation and her being mildly impressed that Vernon managed to consume three-quarters of the dish. But as she watched Vernon’s smile burn through every layer of her being, striped of any facade she put up these few weeks, she began to doubt herself. Could she be just “okay” with Vernon? Things with Vernon would always be okay, but was it enough for her? She could live with him the rest of the year, let their friendship fade through college and go separate lives, would that be okay? What if it wasn’t alright, what if she wanted extraordinary, or fantastic? She didn’t know if she could settle for less.

She went to bed first, Vernon saying that he wanted to do some extra studying before he turned in. She offered to help him solve the first few problems in his Astronomy homework, but once it hit 1AM she was ready to crash. She felt a little bad for leaving him to deal with the rest of it by himself, but he insisted that it was fine.

It only took a couple minutes on her bed to drift away, sleep enveloping her like a balm. She lingered on the sheets, letting herself muse as the rain pitter-pattered against her window. But not a half hour later, the room to her door opened just as she felt ready to sleep for real. She turned her head slightly, finding Vernon absorbing the moonlight. There was a rumble of thunder, and then lightning filling the room like white heat.

He was in a pair of black sweats and a white undershirt, a small blanket wrapped around his body. He managed to cover his top-half with it, with only his head popping out of the seam, looking like a little burrito sealed in blankets.

“Mmph,” she closed her eyes, rubbing a hand over her face. “Vernon,” she murmured, “why are you here?”

“Can I sleep with you?” he blurted.

“Wha?”

“Please? You said we were okay and I’m stressed.” she could practically hear the pout in his voice. “I promise I’ll pass my exam if you let me stay. And not trying to be a brat or anything,” he shuffled his feet, looking guilty, “it’s freezing in my room when it rains or snows.”

“Gah,” she rubbed her forehead against her cool silk pillow, hoping this was all just a dream. “You’re just trying to find excuses to cuddle with me.” she grumbled.

“Is that such a crime?” he asked in a whine, “So can I?”

“Fine. Just keep your distance.”

She knew that proposition wasn’t going to last long. Vernon practically flew to her bed, rousing the springs and causing her body to bounce in recoil. They were a safe foot away from each other, with enough room for the both of them. He fluffed her pillows on his side and put his blanket at the foot of the bed, going under her marigold duvet. She heard him take a deep exhale, and she smiled into her pillow, wondering if Vernon enjoyed the scent of her sheets.

It only took a total of five minutes before Vernon caved, rolling his body so that his head nuzzled in the crook of her neck, his nose poking between her collarbones. He wasn’t really cuddly in front of people, and it was usually his friends that made the first move if he did do something. So any moment that he did want to get close, she knew she had to savor it.

She sighed, feigning a tired yawn as she let the scent of Vernon’s vanilla and sandalwood encompass her. She shifted, tugging his heavy arm up so it would fall under her petite body, letting herself be snuggled under his embrace. His hands wordlessly found her hip, tucking itself between her back like a shield.

It only took a matter of seconds before she could fall asleep, but it was enough for her to conclude that simply being “okay” with Vernon, wasn’t enough for her.

It was the first and last time that she and Vernon slept in the same bed, and she couldn’t have been more than thankful for that. She thought their first awkward phase was bad, but the second one was significantly more tortuous than the last.

Sweet, sweet torture. One that led to lingering touches on her waist when they would accidentally bump into each other in the bathroom. When they’d hug and somehow his hands would make its mark between the dive of where her t-shirt ended and her pants began, that sliver of bare skin treated with tender, but fleeting grasps. The sanguine compliments they’d exchange whenever they went out, if they had a nice outfit today or a high-five on campus after an exam period. Eye contact that went on for too long between meals, ones that made Seungkwan want to gag and his sister to tease. Wordless conversations on Sunday mornings, bodies lazily slumped against each other, exchanging a bowl of chips over dramas.

It had her aching for more, and she wondered if he was feeling just as starved.

She sat cross-legged on her mattress for what felt like hours, simply holding the object in her hand like it was the last piece of hope on this land. She had just gotten back from university, feeling incredibly beaten. Her professor ripped her last essay to shreds, and her last paper didn’t fare so well with her other class. Her thesis for graduate school needed re-work, and with the low marks she got in her other classes, she wasn’t feeling so confident as before. She knew it was going to be fine at the end of the year, she just had to hang on a little bit longer. 

She needed to relax, she thought, as her fingers toggled with the metal vibrator in her hands. It was a small, cute bullet that seemed like a questionable device when her best friend gifted it to her a couple weeks ago, but now was a good time as ever to test its capabilities. She gave an experimental jab at the rubber button, and the vibrator buzzed to life, deafeningly loud against the quiet apartment.

Slipping off her shorts, she let out a long-suffering sigh as she laid her head down on a propped up pillow. She thought about her thesis that was due in a couple weeks, the only thing written down was the title,  still a work in progress. The future seemed like such a faraway land, waiting for her to fall over and start acting less of a child and more of an adult.

She thought of Vernon, everything about him just crashed on her mind, encompassing her like a circle in a perpetual loop. The scent of his button downs when he first moved in, his vanilla scent seducing her before she even had a chance to shake hands with him. The way he’d walk around the apartment in only his underwear, painfully oblivious to the fact that the simple action was wracking her with frustration. The silly giggles Jungyeon made in-between rushed, secretive kisses as they made the journey from the front door to his bedroom. She closed her eyes tighter, as she recollected the heavy groans Vernon must’ve breathed into her neck, weak with sanity but strong with desire.

She sighed, urging herself to grapple some pleasure out of that pain. Vernon didn’t have to tell her Jungyeon meant nothing to him, to excuse his drunkenness for silly mistakes. He didn’t have to give her that satisfaction, the ability to run her mind and give herself a chance. Hating herself for feeling so needlessly jealous, she threw one of her pillows across the room, knowing if she was too loud Vernon would wake up from his nap.

It fell with a soft puff to the ground, and she grit her teeth, suppressing the little part of her that wanted him to hear. She pressed the vibrator to her core, pleading for some type of reprieve.

She broke apart bit by bit, sinking into the sheets. She thought of the the way Vernon spent that night with her in bed, simply sleeping. How their touches were so innocent, so mutual, but at the same time she felt subconsciously dissatisfied, hoping for something more. How she ignored the familiar heat of his strong thighs against her own the morning after, pretending to not-so-accidentally brush over his morning wood as she got up to shut off her alarm. How she had to wait with forced stillness until he had his morning shower, and let herself relax on her own accord, much like now. She put some tension in the metal bullet, letting it soak up her juices as she let it go up and down her slit, swallowing sighs like shots with every wave of pleasure.

And then the door was thrown open.

Vernon practically shoved himself in, panicking as he held up his Astronomy textbook. “You need to do me a favor,” he cried frantically, waving the hardcover around. “My calendar alarm went off and I just realized I have a quiz tomorrow and—”

The book met the ground in a painfully loud thud.

“Vernon!” she bolted up, chucking her vibrator under her pillow. “Ever heard of knocking?”

He didn’t answer, in fact his body was frozen solid as he managed to ask in a quiet voice, “What are you doing?” he nearly whispered.

“Answer my question!” Ohmygodooohmygoddd he saw me touching myself he saw me I’m going to die.

“What? No, answer mine!” he finally pushed himself forward, having the balls to go near her mattress. “What did you just throw?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s making sounds.”

They both made eye contact, like a silent face-off as their eyes snapped back and forth in sync from each other to the mysterious sounds her pillow was emitting. He wouldn’t dare, she thought, fingers curling between the sheets in nervous anticipation. She was dead wrong. Vernon dove first, as if she wasn’t totally just trying to touch herself five seconds ago, his hands darting under the pillow to retrieve the culprit. For a semi-fit looking guy, he was incredibly dense and heavy to ward off. She hardly had time to think as she clutched his shoulders to pull him back, only for her to meet eye-to-eye with her vibrator, the incessant buzzing reverberating throughout the room.

Vernon’s pupils were blown like galaxies, innocently rolling the object between his thumb and pointer. “You were going to use this?” he asked with glazed wonder.

“No.” she deadpanned, “I was going to go take a walk and go out to dinner with it.”

At this point, they’d slip into their method. She’d say a snarky comment, he’d laugh and make some silly joke that made no possible sense in context, but she’d laugh anyway because it was Vernon and he made everything seem funny. But Vernon wasn’t doing any of the following, in fact his eyes were still stuck on that damn vibrator, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. The anticipation was absolutely wrecking her, and she subtly pressed her thighs together as she awaited his reply.

Finally, his Coca-Cola eyes lolled towards her, and he asked with an eggshell delicacy, “So if you’re not going to use it on yourself, can I use it on you?”

Her knees trembled like it was ice cold, although she was fervently burning with a desire that had been singeing her black for months.

His eyes were perpetually in mid-explosion, dilated so far that she could make out the stars across the rim of his sea of chocolate, both in shock and excitement. She couldn’t help but nod at his subdued eagerness, biting the inside of her lip as she let her consent register in his brain. Vernon still kept his eyes glued to hers, as if she’d say no at the last second, but his hand made a trail for her thighs, the swell of her hips, before he felt the seam between her thighs, willing them to part open for him. His touch was ice cool against her heated body and honeyed her panties with arousal, and she blushed because he wasn’t even doing anything yet but she was already so riled.

The vibrator hung in the air for only a second, before it dipped down to her clothed clit, and he began pressing pressing pressing.

She gasped, her thighs closing in reflex, effectively trapping Vernon’s hand. He raised a sharp eyebrow at her, an amused smile curling on his features. “Relax,” he said, the words immediately physicalized under his command, and she felt her muscles slack with ease. “I’m going to take care of you.”

I’m going to take care of you. She ignored the pinch in her gut for now, because Vernon seemed to be enjoying his time with her. He rolled the rose gold bullet in little circles and big circles, continuing his actions as he hovered over her, sitting with his legs spread as a cocoon between hers. The vibrator reverberated through her panties, and she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow. Before she could get even more turned on than she already was, she reached for her panties, tugging them off in a haste and throwing them across the room. She exhaled, letting her body float against the mattress. She heard Vernon chuckle at her sudden eagerness, the low tones in his voice turning her on even more as he pressed the next setting on her vibrator.

The cool metal slipped like butter between her folds, igniting liquid fire as she whimpered in tandem to its rapid ministrations. The bullet went fast, and slow, and then fast again, and then agonizingly, achingly slow. It was so much that she started to squirm when the metal bullet would graze her clit ever so slightly, and then gasp like it was her last breath on earth when he’d suddenly push it into the center of its bud, causing herself to bloom like lilies.

“Vernon,” she gasped, his name coming out in a desperately slow moan. “Vernon, Vernon.”

Without warning, the vibrator plopped with a soft thud on the mattress, and she felt his fingers brush against her slickened folds. From her half-lidded gaze, she saw the way Vernon looked at her, not her body, not her arousal, her eyes. He was mesmerized, spelled by youth and curiosity so genuine it almost made her come right then and there.

He picked up the vibrator again, but his other hand remained at her entrance, prodding and teasing as the vibrator made its way back to her clit, swirling at a steady pace. She sighed in bliss, grappling at her cotton yellow sheets as ecstasy wracked through her body.

“F-fuck, Vernon,” she exhaled again, feeling his warm fingers gather her arousal like a fountain, dripping over his skin like a gloss. “More—a-ah right there—please do that again.”

He muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of to stop saying his name like that or else he’d lose it but kindly hastened his pace, and before she knew it she was rocking her hips back and forth against his fingers, chasing that aching release she had been wishing for so long. He gave careful work to the spongy bud, curling his digits until stars and moons assaulted her vision, her breathy gasps releasing in staccato, before all at once melting herself into the soft mattress. She felt herself burst into electricity, like light bulbs crashing into pavement and glittering the walk in color and spark.

She let herself exhale in peace, the rise and fall of her chest heavy and breathy like she was trying to savor the last breath on earth. Carding a hand through the hair that was mussed at her face, she propped herself on her elbows. Vernon’s eyes drifted to the sticky substance that iced his fingers, and it made her all too aware of the same substance she was practically drowning in between her thighs. His pink tongue darted out the seam of his lips, before taking an experimental lick at her juices.

Scandalized, her neck started to burn with embarrassment. “Vernon,” she half-whined, causing him to snap his neck towards her. “Don’t do that.”

He looked like an innocent kitten, lapping up milk like it was the last drop in the bowl. He cocked his head to the side, “Why, how can you be embarrassed all of a sudden?” he asked gently, letting his body slack against the propped pillows.

And suddenly it hit her like a two-ton bus, that Vernon was in her room not to study, or ask if she wanted to eat dinner, or any other normal activity roommates shared. No, he just gave her an amazing orgasm, one that was still replaying in her mind like ticker tape, and here he was, fully clothed and an erection straining through his jeans. And she was moreover naked, her bra straps floating across her elbows and nothing but a thin tank top to barely cover the rest of herself.

Vernon immediately caught onto her distress, and he sat up, one foot already on the floor. “I’ll just—uh—I’ll go in my room and uh, yeah—it’s fine.” he stuttered literal word vomit, unable to think of anything coherent, the panic evident in his face.

Before he could make his getaway, she darted forward, tugging the hem of his sleeve. “No, Vernon. Please stay.” she said, pulling him back down with a cotton soft press of his flannel clad shoulder. It didn’t take much for him to lie back on the bed, looking profoundly dumbstruck at whatever the hell was going on between the two of them. “Let me take care of you, too.” she murmured, her hands reaching to palm him through his jeans. Before she could think twice she ground her hand into him, letting herself feel the width of his hardened length.

A devastating groan escaped Vernon, throwing his head so hard that it smacked against wood of her bedframe. She laughed when he pouted at his sudden impulse, her fingers flying back to push back his russet strands that went out of place, slick with sweat.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly, “Wasn’t prepared for that.”

“I wasn’t prepared for you walking in on me, either.” she murmured playfully, her thumb brushing the flyaways of his honey spice coif. “Please don’t tell me you broke your brain or anything.” she rubbed his scalp briefly with a tender caress.

“No, seems intact.” he replied shortly, “For now, at least.”

She raised a brow, before dipping her hand back to the button of his jeans. He lifted his hips up slightly, eyes still trained on her as they helped each other get his jeans off. His plaid boxer briefs were slung low on his hips, his erection standing under a pool of precome against the cotton. She was about to pull the waistband down before she bit her lip in contemplation, looking back at Vernon. He looked expectant, awaiting her next move, but at the same time, still glazed with wonder of how they got like this so quickly. She didn’t know either, although she hoped that this would be a step forward in their relationship, rather than the backwards spiral they were enduring the weeks before. They’ve gone this far now, and if there was anything they’d possibly regret, she might as well go all the way.

She took a detour by putting her weight on Vernon so they were chest to chest, and she kissed him. He was terribly responsive to her, although his hands clung to his sides, she could feel the moment of finally in his reverence, combined with the taste of her and something that was so distinctly Vernon, she yearned for more.

Still kissing him, her fingers returned to their journey under his boxers, before finding his hard cock that ached for release. He groaned into the kiss, bucking into her hand as he finally reached forward to let his warm hands grip her waist. The angle was awkward since he was so tall, and she bumped teeth a few times as she struggled to keep up with rubbing him off and simultaneously kissing. She felt his hand reach for the one in his underwear, twining their fingers and pulling it away so a sharp twang echoed from the spandex. He ushered her waist forward, and looking ever-so determined to make this work, he urged her onto his lap, his clothed erection aligning with her naked core.

She never thought grinding between such a thin barrier would arouse her so much, but it was probably Vernon that was turning her on more than the action. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down, his Adam’s apple bobbing like a pendulum as he settled her on top of him, hands securing her safely as he rocked up.

“Nngh—” Vernon threw his head back again, this time gently, his mouth parted with pure ecstasy, “You feel, so fucking good.” he sighed from the base of his throat, graveled with lust.

She could only whimper weakly and nod in reply, trying not to collapse over as she felt her clit pulsate between his hardened cock, with every thrust feeling like this fullness was more than enough, and she could hardly imagine having it without his boxers, inside of her. Her hands grappled under the hem of his weathered shirt, finding purchase in gripping the solid planes of his abs. Her core throbbed incessantly as she glided against him, finding a rhythm that synced well with the hot friction that melded the both of them together. The bed rocked in tandem like a lullaby, arching to their hard sighs and soft moans that collided in her bedroom.

It was only a matter of time before Vernon’s actions would get more erratic, scattering in a frenzy nearing the peak of pleasure. His grunts stained the room like the way impressionists would leave their mark, wholly impactful. She held on, watching the way Vernon was barely hanging by a thread, a sheen of sweat glittering his forehead, looking simultaneously gorgeous and wrecked as he chased his release. His head was arched back, exposing his hard pale collarbones which contrasted beautifully against the serene half-lidded bliss his smokey brown eyes were giving her. She felt the wetness between them multiply, and she felt inebriated knowing their arousal was mixed together. She swirled her hips between his, gathering the slick juices that glistened between them to ride out their high. Grounding and circling her hips to his with gravity on her side, she tipped the scale, and Vernon collapsed like sand in an hourglass, crumbling as he thrusted one last time and rode out his orgasm with a low moan, his seed pooling in his boxers and milking against her tummy and equally wet tank.

She let herself fall on her side of the bed, thighs sticky as she groaned from exertion, collapsing next to Vernon. She tucked her head between his arm and chest, letting her eyelids flutter for a few seconds. It was comical, the way Vernon was completely windblown, his pants half-dragged his one ankle with hot pink tube socks, his top half still fully clothed yet wrinkled from exhaustion. 

“By the way,” Vernon exhaled, voice crackly with exhaustion. “Are you on the pill, or something? I came in my underwear.”

“You ask me that after you come?” she balked, a tired laugh fluttering from her post-bliss.  

“Well, I was preoccupied.” 

“Don’t worry about it, we’re safe.”

“Oh, cool.” she heard Vernon count to three in breathy whispers. One, two. “Wanna go on a date?”

She muffled her laugh through his dampened shirt, and she felt his chest rumble in chuckles. “Sure. Although living with you every day seems like a date.”

“What are we going to tell Josh?” Vernon blurted aloud, shifting slightly so that their chests were facing each other. “I mean, I guess he can take his room back. I can move all my stuff here, or there’s that extra closet—”

“Vernon,” she cut him off, wounding her legs in his. “We just had amazing foreplay and the first thing you want to do is bring up Josh?”

“Oh, sorry.” he swooped down, pressing his forehead to hers. “So yeah, dating? Cool?” there was nothing remotely serious in his tone, getting from the fact that all along, they had a feeling they’d cut to jumping each other’s bones one day or another. He gave her a goofy grin, blissfully falling into something so impulsive and so so beautiful.

“Cool.” she shifted, rubbing her ruddy cheeks. “Now can we please sleep? Pining over you these past few months was exhausting.” she confessed, nuzzling her head between his neck. “Do you know how frustrating it is when you walk around half-naked?”

“You’re telling me.” Vernon yawned, throwing an arm around her waist. “Do you know how distracting it is when I’m trying to study and I hear you touching yourself in the other room? Like, rude.”

“You’re ruder.”

“Rudest.” he chuckled, tucking his chin on the crown of her head. “I still need help with that quiz by the way.” and he helped himself up, only to tilt his head so that it would level with hers. “But first, could we re-do that kiss?”

“Not satisfied with the first one?” she teased in a velvety whisper, inching her lips forward so that they would linger over his.

“No, it was great, but I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with just one.” he giggled with a pursed mouth, before pressing his lips to hers. They smiled through the kiss, messy and uncoordinated as they’ve always been, sticky and sweaty as they tangled themselves together between the marigold duvet. It was warm and sudden and a little awkward, but this was more than okay.

Best roommate, ever.

[estherroberts]

esther roberts!

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the first one of mine! without further ado, here’s esther! 

esther roberts is tiny but she is not delicate- which is to say, she looks fragile but she will kick your ass. she is feminine but she is unyielding. and she will beat you to the chair and pull it out her damn self.

pencil skirts, fancy blouses, necklaces with tiny charms, and three rings with varying sizes of stones are like a uniform for esther.

she has honey blonde hair in the sunlight and mousy brown in dark and her hair wiggles just past her shoulders. also, she has bangs. they're cute but they don't help her look any older.

she has brown eyes and sometimes they're warm and welcoming but mostly they're analyzing and looking and curious and questioning

she doesn't want any more piercings than the basic ear ones and she likes to wear long chained dangly earrings because they feel nice

she wears heels for the click clack and the height and ballet flats for the comfort 

she’s an aquarius

she has a cat named johanna and when she was younger she had fish but she was a horrible fish mother and gave them to jack’s sisters

esther’s father died when she was four years old

the only things she has left of him are

a) a deck of cards

b) all kinds of russian swear words

c) an ability to withstand incredibly cold weather

d) an ability to withstand her mother

technically the occupants of her house are just her and her mom, anita

anita is from new york and certainly sounds like it

she is loud and affectionate and even though she is grieving her husband, does her best to raise her daughter

there are aunts, uncles, and cousins living across the street and on either side, and her mother’s parents are less than a block away

and there are always people over

most of her cousins are a lot older than she is, some of them have children by the time she’s a junior and so she is both the baby and the babysitter

also always over is jack wyatt

they grew up together, and jack talked to esther’s cousins as much, if not more, than esther did

they did ballroom lessons together, they cooked together, they have embarrassing photos of each other when they were babies, they even are very close to having their own language (there’s more on that in the jack post)

if you asked esther at five, at seven, at fifteen, at seventeen, who her favorite person in the world was? she would say jack. (she might throw bridget in there too, but we’re not there yet)

she loves him a LOT

esther figured out she was gay in 5th grade bc she watched glee and wanted to kiss quinn (later she realized how GARBAGE FIRE the show was but she’s glad it got her this, at least)

she’s maybe 11 and she’s freaking out. she thinks about it before she falls asleep and sometimes she looks stuff up online but she feels like it’s Extra so she stopped doing that. and it’s her secret, it’s a Big Secret.

sometimes she asks jack if they would still be friends if she was gay and he looks at her funny and tells her that she’s an idiot and he would still be her friend if she was green and came from the moon

“actually it’d be so cool if you were green and from the moon,”

and one time she held hands with a girl who was like, a study buddy or something as they were walking down the hallway and her heart hurt because she wished it could be real, really real

lots more under the readmore! 

when she is 12 her and jack meet anthony in detention, and through him, they also meet quentin

the four of them have lunch together every day and talk about advanced math and sciences, comparing notes and theories and arguing constantly

sometimes anthony does her nails

she really likes light solid colors like white, beige, pink

but one time he brings gold flecks to put on top of her pink

and he’s a little unsure about how she’ll react but she agrees

and is UTTERLY DELIGHTED with the final result

in 7th grade, tiny practical esther still doesn't understand most social interactions very well

she doesn't see the value in communication so spends no time learning how to do it

but toward the end of the year she starts to actually worry about this

their school is a middle and high school combined but

anthony has been complaining that all his friends are younger than him, that by high school he STILL won’t know anyone his age, that making friends is SO HARD

and so esther starts spending a lot of time interrogating her mom about how to initiate conversations and when you should ask someone about their day and what you do if someone doesn't like you

and her mom thinks it's great that she's finally expressing interest in people, for the love of god, so she gives her practice assignments to try to get to know the people around her better and get more friends

over summer she meets sally this way, by complimenting her star trek shirt and then dragging her to lunch with The Boys

of course, sally ends up becoming best friends with anthony, but her and esther are close too

anyway this is how esther becomes a CHARMER. teachers, when they aren't telling off her for talking to jack, LOVE HER. store clerks and waiters feel a little bit better about themselves after she leaves them (and internally she still has a script running because she needs it, but she gets better at improvising and she learns to smile a little bit more, because people like that)

it’s not that she’s being fake? because she genuinely does care, it’s just that she’s cracked the code of being like a Great People person

esther invited four non family members to her bat mitzvah:

jack, anthony, quentin, and sally.

they’re all super impressed with her confidence and jack actually cries a little

the party half of it isn’t so much of a party as it is a smorgasbord of incredible food

anita tells the kids they can just the tiniest sips of wine and they all get so excited about it she changes her mind

her freshman year there’s a GSA club and she’s rly scared but she signs up and asks jack if he’ll come with her to a meeting and he’s like, absolutely

and she passes him a note in the middle of it and it just says “i’m gay?????????” and he passes it back with “probably, also, same” and she nods and he smiles and for a while he’s the only one who knows

sophomore year she’s in science and math with sally bc she’s Smart for a little one

and they’re doing group work together and she’s texting instead of talking to sally

and sally’s like “are we gonna work now?” and esther’s like “yeah sorry, uh"

“i was in an argument with jack over who gets to marry hayley atwell"

and sally’s like, “is she, like, your woman crush wednesday whatever”

and esther’s like “oh no, i’m a giant lesbian”

makes a face, mumbles, “woman crush wednesday, god”

and sally’s just like, bubbly, happy, excited (but it takes her a minute to process)

“oh. OH! :D i hope you win the argument!!”

and esther grins wickedly and is like, “i will"

this eventually leads to a Bond they share over queer stuff, which leads to regular talks down at the garden shed, which eventually winds up at detention

but that’s another story 

later in the year she tells june and helen, who are in orchestra with her, and theyre so sweet about it and it’s the only time (until, of course, Chuck E Cheese Night) that june smiles at her

she doesn’t say it to anyone unless it comes up, but she doesn’t say silent on her opinions in class discussions and she figures everyone’s figured it out by now

telling her mother, on the other hand, scares the SHIT out of her

like, she knows anita will be chill about it she knows this but it’s so so scary for some reason? like what if she’s wrong and what if her mom is disappointed or doesn’t believe her?

her and bridget start dating the summer between sophomore year and junior year

that summer, before they get together, they text constantly

and esther, like is absolutely flirting, she’s doing her best

she thinks very highly of bridget as an academic but the selfies bridget sends... oh god, the selfies are so breathtakingly beautiful 

even the silly ones

like, wow

WOW

esther has never had a girlfriend, she doesn’t know how to flirt, but being smooth is like, in her dna

(jack makes fun of her all the time and tells her she’s being cheesy)

(but it appears to be working, so she tells him to fuck off)

eventually her efforts do pay off and bridget officially asks her out while they’re eating ice cream

their relationship is so healthy like, they talk about everything and they’re super honest with each other

and when they have miscommunications they talk about what they feel and try to say what they mean

her whole life esther has always been “the cute one”

it comes from being smol and from being the youngest in her family and bc, well, she is pretty cute

but bridget calls her beautiful one day and she nearly cries

because she’s never gotten to feel beautiful before

also, bridget’s the only one who calls her ettie and very quickly becomes the only one who’s allowed to call her ettie

esther loves her so much, she would do anything for bridget and anything to keep her

and she knows, she knows she needs to tell her mom soon, but one month passes and then three and then six and it’s hanukkah?

and her mom tells her she can invite as many people she wants on the third night, that they won’t have any cousins and it can just be esther’s friends

because of orchestra, and The Gay, and the poly chain and other couples, the gang has taken shape, and esther, for the first time, has more than four friends. she has eight now, eight people she loves and (mostly) get along with

trying to explain all of it to anita is a literal nightmare, but she can’t quite speak bridget’s name

“mom, again, you know jack, and his girlfriend penny, and then sally and her not-not? or is it not? boyfriend anthony and his girlfriend helen and her girlfriend june and her boyfriend quentin and-”

anita is patient and is really doing her best to understand the tangled relationship web but she does notice that esther said eight and only gave her seven names

“who’s the eighth person, esther?"

“aaaaaaaaaaa she’s uhhhh she’s ummmmmmmmmm aaaaaaa……..her name is bridget. she’s my age. she’s beautiful. she’s like. really good at english. she makes a mean apple pie. she’s a libra. she volunteers at the library. she’s like, an actual angel and she makes me smile every day and also she’s kind of my girlfriend?????????????”

anita:    :O

“i’m so sorry i didnt say sooner, i just. i got scared. i really don’t want to lose her. and i didn’t know how you would react, if you knew and i didnt- i didnt… i didn’t want to lie but i didnt know what to SAY and i waited too long and i’m sorry and-”

god bless esther’s mother, because although she is absolutely freaking out internally, just says, “i cannot wait to meet her"

needless to say they all have a BLAST and esther’s mom really does her best to get all the pronouns and relationships right and she appreciates how captive of an audience she has when she tells stories esther’s heard hundreds of times

and bridget is so polite and she offers to help clean the kitchen after

and esthers mom keeps making faces at esther like “SHES A KEEPER” and esther is ready to Die of happiness and embarrassment

up until her junior year, homework was incredibly easy. all she had to do was hyperfocus and she could work on it all night. but the more work she got, the more overwhelming it was, the more pressure she put on herself, and the harder it got to do

her grades didn’t really drop but ?

it took her a lot longer to get her homework done

she got distracted more easily

and then get mad at herself for getting distracted

being diagnosed for adhd helped a lot

she’s not on meds (she’s thinking about it though) but knowing that this is something to manage and take care of is really helping her

she’s learning to be okay with that part of herself? jack doesn’t stim the same way she does but he helps her figure out what she likes

and eventually she’s even a little proud of her neurodivergence, the way she’s proud of her sexuality and proud to be jewish

i’m not gonna pretend i know the rules of dilemma. but esther does, anita does, jack does, and sally….? sort of does?

just like in canon, her and jack play all the time

she’s better than he is but only SLIGHTLY, he’s been playing just as long as she has

she just gets a little more practice

esther’s dedication to STEM is sort of a mix of a lot of things

she has a genuine natural interest in math and science

she likes that things make sense and that there are universal rules (this doesn’t mean she won’t try to break them, she just likes knowing that they’re there)

(it’s a bit like a finish line, except you get to keep going)

(esther takes statistics really early in her hs career and just, LOVES it. like if she didn’t want to save the world, she’d probably be a data analyst

testing things to discern their significance is 300% her jam

and she loves hand drawing graphs

she has enough graph paper in her backpack to fill up a large dictionary)

also designing projects is a really big strong suit of hers

she’s an incredible planner/diagrammer

which works SUPER well with jack’s buildy skills

she comes up with the shit, and he makes it

also her handwriting is incred so whenever they write up things with the scientific method she’s the one who has to do it

she doesn’t know what she wants to do in the field but she knows she LOVES it 

overall she’s a pretty happy gay

she loves her friends and she loves her school and she loves her mom and she can put up with her cousins

she’s not afraid of the future, she’s ready for it.

[projectbadboy-blog]

2

Hauling my backpack up my shoulder I jumped off the bus and looked at the scene in front of me. The same school I once used to attend four years ago was still standing tall. The walls now repainted from peach to a pearly white color that complimented the tall blue tinted windows, the trees and bushes were well kept looking full and green. There were students walking in groups, some laughing the others trying to fill their friends with the latest scoop and what not. "Not much of a change here I guess." Duke spoke reading the expression on my face once he got off the bus himself. "It does feel the same." I chuckled. "Come on let's go inside, we've got ten minutes until the first class starts and you need to get a locker and the timetable and that might take some time so let's hurry, I also have a presentation in the first period." he nodded his head towards the entrance. He has a presentation? What if he gets late because of me? I can do this on my own, I mean I've been here before and it's not my first time in this school. "Hey why don't you go ahead and prepare for that presentation you have? I'll go to the reception on my own, it's not really the first time I've been here I'm sure I can find my way around." I smiled reassuringly as we walked towards the glass doors. Duke furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?" "Yes I'm sure." I let out a laugh. "Oh okay, I'll see you around then." he smiled. "Yep bye, oh and good luck with the presentation!" "I don't need luck!" He said sounding annoyed. "Haha okay fine, do well." We then parted ways as I began heading over to the receptionist sitting behind her desk. The interior of the place still looked the way it used to, pearly white tiles and beige walls. "Excuse me, I'm a transfer student and I need a timetable and a locker." I smiled at the receptionist, she had brown hair pulled back into a tight bun, not even a strand out of place. She looked like she was in her early forties but who am I to judge? "May I have your name Miss Transfer Student?" she chuckled a little. I laughed sheepishly at my silliness, I'm so stupid I forgot to tell her my name, that's not embarrassing at all right? "It's Camilla Jervis." I replied still smiling feeling embarrassed. "Alright just a moment." she began clicking and typing away on her laptop and I stood there looking around me. The trophies sitting in the shelfs had increased and so had the certificates that were hung on one corner of one of the walls. "Ah yes, Camilla," she pulled out a sheet of paper from one of the stacks at her desk and scribbled something down on it, "here you go. That's the timetable according to the subjects you chose which happen to be the science stream and that's the pin for your locker. If there's anything else you need you can always come back to the reception." she slid the paper over to my direction and I grabbed it and  thanked her then left the reception and took a look at my time table. Looks like it'll be a busy day today, sighing I put my timetable into my bag and started skimming through the locker numbers looking for the right one; 201. 112... 146... 171... 199... 201! Found it, the lockers have gotten an upgrade, we first used to be given keys but now it seems tho we get a pin to unlock them. I began punching in the digits and tried opening it but it wouldn't budge. I tried again but still nothing. What is this monstrosity!? At this rate I'll be late and not to mention it's the very first day of school some impression I'll be leaving on my teacher. I tried again but still nothing. "Hey, do you need some help?" My head whipped towards the direction of the voice, there was a girl walking towards me. She had pastel pink hair tied into a messy bun and she was wearing a deep necked plain baggy gray shirt with a pair of leggings that had a paint splattered pattern on them. "The locker wouldn't budge." I said letting out a laugh. "Yeah I know, you need to twist the handle real hard." She turned the handle then grinned at me when the locker opened up. "Oh thank you so much I thought I was gonna get late for class!" I said grinning. "By the way I'm Ymir. She stuck her hand out for me to shake and I took it. "The name's Camilla but you can call me Cam too." "That's a cool name, so what are you having for the first period?" "Here take a look yourself." I said handing her my timetable. She skimmed over it before her lips parted. "Would you look at that, you and I are having a lot of classes together, it's best if we start becoming friends now." she laughed and I laughed along with her. "Come on lets get you to class, we've got Biology for our first period and as boring as this subject sounds, Ms. Carla really knows how to make it interesting."she finished with the usher of her hand and I started to walk alongside her towards our class. Walking into the class, I noticed there was no teacher in the class yet and walked over to an empty seat and let myself settle there getting weird looks in the process. I sat there looking out the window until minutes after somebody entered. "Good morning class," I ripped my gaze off the scenery outside to look at the woman standing in the front of the classroom behind the teachers desk, she had her hands on the table smiling, "I hope you had an awesome vacation and I'm happy to see most of you here today. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Carla and I'm your biology teacher so you guys are gonna be stuck with my for this year." she ended with a chuckle and I felt myself smile at what she said. I guess this year isn't gonna be so bad. ~~~ The day flew by so fast, it's already break. Ymir was right, biology wasn't boring at all with this teacher– what was her name again? ... Great, I forgot. I quickly placed my books into my locker and decided to head towards the cafeteria, I didn't get a chance to talk to Duke as he was sitting on the other side of the world during maths and so far that's the only class we've had together. I grabbed some food and sat on one of the tables that were left unoccupied and began to eat and the next thing I knew somebody slammed their tray of food on the opposite side of the table, "When I first heard that Camilla was back I didn't actually believe it because I thought she'd tell me first but look at you!" Looking up from my food, my eyes landed on the girl standing in front of me, she had a red jacket on top of her plain white shirt, a pair of marine blue skinny jeans paired with red wedged converse. Her hair was blond and perfectly curled reaching below her shoulders and her face – don't even get me started – it was caked with a lot of makeup.  "Err– do I know you?" I gave her a genuinely confused look. Her eyes went wide and her hands dramatically clutched her chest, "Oh my heart! I knew this day would come where you'll forget me! I knew it! after going to Dubai you totally forgot about me didn't you?!" "Umm..." I internally cringed at the amount of attention my table was now getting and whispers began to rise in the cafeteria. "Why don't you sit down and we can talk about this properly?" "Sit down?!" she scoffed. "I am so disappointed in you! You actually forgot your best friend, your partner in crime, the girl who'd always scold you like your mother! You completely forgot about me!" she started to sob dramatically. Woman, you're already nagging at me like my mum. "Look I really don't know you, maybe you've mistook me for some other Camilla, I'm sure there are a lot of other Camillas lying around in different parts of this school... or better yet different parts of the world." She suddenly turns toward the girl standing beside her – I didn't even notice her presence, Ymir was standing there with a poker face she then gave me an acknowledging look. "Do you hear her talking? She says she doesn't know me." she enveloped Ymir in a tight hug and sobbed harder whereas Ymir uncomfortably patted her back afraid that if she did anything wrong the blonde would pull her neck off. "Meredith, Meredith Collins." she suddenly pulls away and throws those words at me. "Woah, woah, woah, how do you know that name?" And that's when it hit me hard. This was the girl whom I would do every kind of crazy thing with, we'd never look prim and proper, wearing bright colours and a lot of make up was a no-no and now look at her all dolled up. "Meredith you stupid girl what is wrong with you!? what happened to your clothes, your short hair, and oh my Lord, your face!" I emphasized the last bit. She immediately grinned forgetting she was trying to be mad at me. "Do you like it? I like dressing up now I mean its so cool what makeup can d to you, don't you think?" "You traitor." I said narrowing my eyes. Ymir on the other hand kept looking between us not understanding what we were going on about. "It's a long story." I looked at her and laughed and her lips formed an 'o' letting out an awkward laugh. "But seriously, how could you not remember me, just because I now like dressing up doesn't mean I got a plastic surgery done and you can't recognise me anymore." "Well you do look different." "You have gotten pretty too." she smiled. "Mer I never said that you looked pretty and hold on– did you just say that I used to look ugly before?" "Mhm." the two of them had settled down an had began to eat, Ymir nibbling on her sandwich and Meredith sophisticatedly continued eating her chicken salad, I looked down at my plate at my half eaten slice of pepperoni pizza then looked back at Meredith who was talking on about something with Ymir sitting beside her completely engrossed in her phone. Just what have you become Meredith? ~~~ Once again, I'd really love your feedback 😄