#I need this baby swaddled and cared for and loved by the whole world NOW | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kelyon · 2 years

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Dark Mistress 26: Affection

Bae loves his little brother

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Somehow, Baelfire was able to get himself, Papa, and Gideon all down the mountain and home safely. Papa was too much of a wreck to hold the baby, so Baelfire charged him with carrying the reed basket and all the sundry supplies they had brought with them the night before. He did as he was told, but had no will to do anything else.

It was hard to look at Papa. Hard to see the shell left behind after the Dark One had died in his arms. Her magic had saved his life and taken away the pain of labor, but there was something inside him that was broken, now that she was gone. He didn’t talk, showed only the slightest interest in Gideon. He looked at the ground as he walked, holding back tears and clutching his staff.

Baelfire had to lead the way. He swaddled Gideon in cloths and tied the bundle to his chest like mothers in the village did. He wasn’t sure of his knots, so he had to keep one hand on the baby the whole way down.

Gideon had slept through the first night of his life. Now that it was day, he was awake, and very unhappy about it. He was such a tiny thing, but his wails rang out through the forest. Baelfire tried to comfort his brother, but those efforts were about as useful as comforting Papa in his grief. He was trying his best, but he wasn’t the person they needed.

The baby was hungry, he needed a mother. Papa was bereft, he needed the woman he loved.

The Dark One.

Belle.

He’d read her name on the dagger she’d used to cut herself open. If Baelfire had wanted to do the will of the Blue Star, he would have used that dagger to kill her. Instead, she had sacrificed herself to bring Gideon into this world, and to save Papa’s life.

Those two both owed their lives to her. They needed her to stay alive. And Baelfire was caught in the middle, trying to hold his strange little family together.

****

When they got to the cottage, he changed Gideon’s cloths and set him down in his basket on the table. Throughout all of this, the baby never stopped crying. Baelfire had the thought to put the basket in the barn, just to keep the noise away for a few minutes.

“No, no,” he sighed. He nudged the basket to try to make it rock. “No, all your caterwauling would upset the sheep.”

No, the sheep were still outside. He had never put them back in the barn last night. Baelfire groaned. If any of them had wandered off, or if the lambs had been taken by wolves or by the cold, it would be all his fault. Baguette hadn’t barked or run up to greet them when they came home. Maybe she was in the pasture with the herd. Maybe she had kept them safe.

As important as the sheep were, their wellbeing couldn’t take Baelfire away from Gideon. Not yet, not while he was still wailing and Papa was still helpless.

His father had made it as far as his bed by the door. He had collapsed, and now looked like he would never get up again.

“We need to feed the baby,” Baelfire said. “Are the ewes still giving milk?”

Papa nodded. Even that much movement seemed to exhaust him. “Your Dabbey,” he said. “She gave me a bucket yesterday. Gods, was that only yesterday?” He covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry, Bae. I’m so useless.”

“Hey,” Baelfire put his hand on his father’s shoulder. “We’re going to get through this. I promised you that I’d take care of the baby, and I will. I just--I need to know what to do.”

Papa took a shuddering breath. His nod was stronger this time. “I put the milk from yesterday in a jug in the creek,” he said. “You’ll need to warm it up, then dip in a clean rag into it. Let it soak in and he’ll learn to suck on that.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed Papa’s shoulder, then stood up and brought the basket over to the bed. Papa’s cries had eased for the moment, but Gideon’s had only gotten worse. “I’ll be right back.”

****

He ran outside to the pasture, calling for Baguette and the sheep. His dog answered with happy barks, which made the sheep start bleating. He got close enough to count all nine of them, then ran back to the creek. The milk was where Papa said it would be. Baelfire grabbed the jug and held it against his chest as he ran back into the cottage. He built up the fire and prepared the milk as Papa had said, testing it on his skin to make sure it never got hot enough to hurt the baby.

By the time all this was done, Gideon had worn himself out from crying. Papa held him close, but all the rocking in the world wouldn’t help a baby who was too hungry to sleep. Baelfire heard the change in the baby’s cries. They were weaker now, not as loud, but sharper. It sounded like he was in pain. Desperate. It was as though his little brother knew he had no chance at life if he stayed this hungry.

He took Gideon and held him in the crook of his arm in front of the hearth. Papa had wrapped him in one of his old blankets. Carefully, Baelfire dipped a corner of a folded rag into one of their clay bowls. The milk soaked into the rag. He brought it up to the baby, making sure not to spill a drop.

At first, Gideon was too occupied with crying to realize that help was coming. Baelfire had to catch him mid-wail and stick the milky rag into his open mouth.

After a moment of frustrated confusion, Gideon’s mouth closed around the folded cloth. Then he began to suck.

A shudder went through Baelfire, a sob and a laugh at the same time.

“Good!” he breathed. “Good job, Gid.”

He waited a minute, then took the rag out of the baby’s mouth and dipped it in the milk again. There was a cry of protest that went away once Gideon tasted milk again. Soon, every time Baelfire took the rag away, Gideon kept his mouth open, expectant. He knew he would be taken care of.

Drop by drop, Baelfire fed his brother. As the feeding went on, Gideon’s blue eyes grew wider, his motions became more lively. Instead of crying, he gurgled and smacked his lips together. He spat up milk a few times, but Baelfire wiped it away with the other end of the rag. He didn’t stop until Gideon turned his head away, letting milk dribble out of his open mouth.

Baelfire took a moment to look at his brother. This tiny, perfect thing that he had just helped keep alive. His eyelids closed, his lips curled up in contentment. Baelfire had never seen anything so beautiful.

“Do you know how to burp him?” Papa had managed to get to the table. He was sitting down, looking at them. He still looked hollowed-out, but at least he was able to talk.

Holding the baby carefully, Baelfire got up from the hearth and sat down next to him. “Can you show me?” he asked. “Do you want to hold him?”

Papa had been so happy last night, in those fleeting moments when he had held Gideon for the first time, before everything had gone wrong. He took the baby now, and brought him up to his shoulder. One of his hands covered the whole of Gideon’s body. He held him by the bottom, and brought his other hand down on his back with a steady rhythm.

“You have to be harder than you’d think,” he said. “Babies cry like the devil if they’re not burped after a feeding.”

Somehow, Baelfire found it in him to smile. “Did I do that?”

Papa nodded. “How do you think I learned?”

Tilting his head back, Baelfire stretched his arms wide. All of his muscles were sore. He groaned.

“He’s so small, he shouldn’t be so heavy.”

It was supposed to be a joke, but Papa didn’t smile. Still patting Gideon on the back, he looked at Baelfire sadly.

“It shouldn’t be your burden, son.”

“He’s not a burden, Papa, I didn’t mean--”

“I know,” he said. “I know what you meant. Of all the tasks that have fallen on your shoulders, this is probably the one with the best reward. Or at least, the reward I would choose first.” He turned his head to kiss Gideon on the ear. “But I truly do thank you, Bae. No matter what else happens, you were there for your brother in the most crucial hours of his life. And these past few months, you’ve been here for me. I’ve needed you more than a father should need his son. And you’ve answered the call, every time. Thank you.”

Baelfire pressed his lips together. He didn’t know what to say.

“Well, it’s not over,” he tried. “Gideon is still going to need a lot of looking-after.”

“The time will fly,” Papa said. “Before you know it, he’ll be a man like you.”

He tried to imagine that. What would Gideon look like at fifteen? What would Baelfire look like at thirty? It was so far away. So much could happen between now and then.

“I wonder what he’ll be like.”

“Scholarly, maybe,” Papa said. “If he takes after his mother. She--” His voice broke. He wrapped both arms around Gideon. After a moment, he was able to speak through his tears. “She told me that she loved to read, when she was a girl.”

Baelfire didn’t know how to comfort his father. All he could try was to distract him. “You said you picked out the name Gideon from a book?”

Papa nodded. “Her favorite book. She showed me--well, it doesn’t matter now.” He sighed. “If I knew that story, I could tell Gideon more about who he’s named after. As it is, all I know is that Belle was lonely as a child, and that she loved to read about Gideon and Alma.”

Lonely seemed an odd word to describe the Dark One. It was odd too, to hear Papa talking about her being a girl, being a child. That floating terror he’d seen on the mountain--had she really been a baby once? Like Gideon? Had she been born with blue eyes, blessed by the Blue Star?

“I’m sorry he won’t know her,” Baelfire said. “It’s hard to grow up without a mother.”

His own mother had been hard to live with sometimes, but at least she had been around for a while. There was always the possibility of catching her on a good day--when she would play with him and speak kindly to Papa. Baelfire at least knew what his mother looked like. Gideon would never have that.

“It is,” Papa agreed. “I’ve always wondered about mine, if she--” He shook his head.

“What?” Baelfire asked. He didn’t know anything about that grandmother.

Papa rocked Gideon as he spoke. He was strangely calm. “When I was growing up, my father always made sure I knew that my mother had not died in childbirth. That she had abandoned me--me specifically, not him, not ‘us.’ He would say if I hadn’t been born, the two of them would still be together and happier than ever.”

“Gods,” Baelfire whispered. “That’s horrible.”

“It is,” he nodded. He held the baby out in front of him, resting him against his forearms. “Gideon is never going to hear that. Belle gave her life for his birth. I wanted him, when it would have been easier not to. You have already done so much to take care of him. If we can give your brother nothing else, we can give him our love.”

“Yeah.” Reaching out, Baelfire put his finger inside Gideon’s tiny hand. His brother grabbed him, and didn’t let go. “We can give him that.”

****

It wasn’t until Gideon was asleep in his basket that they were able to think about anything else. Papa put more logs on the fire and reached up into the rafters with both hands to bring down some smoked sausage links.

Baelfire stared at him.

Papa returned his stare with a questioning look. “I thought after everything we’ve been through, a bit of meat would do us good. Is that a problem?”

He kept staring. First at Papa, standing in the middle of the room. And then at Papa’s staff, where he had dropped it on the floor by his bed.

He hadn’t used it since they’d come home.

“Oh!” Papa said when he realized what he was doing. He staggered back, nearly fell to sit on the hearth. With a dazed expression, he stretched his legs out in front of him. He kicked both feet inside his shoes. They both moved with the same ease. There was no pain in Papa’s face.

Mouth agape, he brought his bad foot up to take off his shoes and stockings. Baelfire had seen the injury only a few times, but he knew what it looked like. A limb so twisted and scarred that it barely looked like a foot at all.

It looked like a foot now. Papa could move it back and forth. He wiggled his toes. And there was no pain. Even the scars were gone. It was like the wound had never happened.

He looked up at Papa’s face, and saw the same shock and joy that Baelfire felt.

“She did this,” Papa whispered. He got up--quickly, and without any help--to stand in the center of the cottage. “She--Belle. Every time we were together, she would take my pain away. When we were done, she would give it back. She always said the balance had to be maintained, or else there would be a price.” He lowered his head. “She must have paid for this, as well as for Gideon.”

Baelfire got up from the table. “Y-you can walk.” He could never stop saying obvious things when something amazing happened. “And--and you’re not in pain at all?”

“No.” Papa shifted his weight from one foot to the other, again and again until he was practically dancing. He threw both arms around Baelfire. “I’m whole.”

In the joy of the moment, Papa tried to pick him up, but Baelfire was still taller and heavier than his father. Papa just laughed.

“I suppose I can’t do everything.”

“I can’t believe it,” Baelfire said. “She--the Dark One--did this for you? For us?”

Papa put both hands on the back of Baelfire’s head. “I keep telling you, she isn’t evil. Not to us, anyway. She stopped the war for you, son. Now Gideon, and this. She has given me every good thing I’ve ever lacked.”

And it had killed her.

Baelfire didn’t ruin their happiness by saying it out loud, but it was true. All of this, all of their joy, had come at the cost of Belle’s life.

****

It was all too big to think about. Baelfire and Rumpelstiltskin didn’t have the luxury of sitting around marveling at great events, not when there was work to be done around the farm. Baelfire went out to the garden to bring in some carrots and cabbage for Papa to fry up with the sausage. They had to eat, and so would Gideon sooner or later.

“We’ll need to start boiling some water as well,” Papa said. “There’s going to be a lot more laundry until he’s old enough to walk to the privy.”

Baelfire groaned. “Right,” he said. “I’ll go out to the well.”

“No, don’t,” Papa said. “Stay here and chop the vegetables. I can get the water.”

And he did. Papa brought back two buckets, one in each hand. He poured one bucket into the big iron kettle and set it to heat over the fire. He left one bucket on the ground inside, then sauntered back out with the other.

Never in his life had Baelfire seen his father move like that, so fast, so sure. He was like a different person.

After supper, when Gideon began to wake up and fuss, Papa was the one who darted over to him. He took the feeding, leaving Baelfire with nothing to do but wash the dishes and the baby’s rags. It was work, but it wasn’t hard work. For the first time in a long time, Baelfire didn’t feel like it was his job to do everything.

When night fell, he brought the sheep and the chickens into the barn. Then--with nothing else to do--he stood outside with Baguette for a little while, looking up at the stars.

He breathed.

She was up there, as always, like a diamond in the sky. The Blue Star. Should he make a wish? Should he try to call her down to talk? Should he explain everything, that the Dark One was gone and that Gideon was a real baby after all? But the stars saw everything, they would have seen what had happened on the mountain last night. He didn’t need to explain anything. Baelfire turned away. He headed back into the cottage where his family was waiting for him.

Just for now, it felt like all his wishes had come true.

****

“Bae, wake up. There’s a problem.”

Baelfire jerked awake. Papa was standing by his bed, holding Gideon to his shoulder. From the light in the cottage, it was just after dawn. There was an odd smell in the cottage, an odd sound. He couldn’t make out what it was.

“Is he alright?”

“For now he is, I just fed him. But that was the last of the milk and the ewes aren’t giving me anything more.”

He sat up, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

Something bleated.

“Is--” Baelfire rubbed his face. “Is there a sheep in the cottage?”

Papa nodded. “Dabbey. I think it was the cold that dried her up, staying out all night when Gideon was born.”

Still very tired, Baelfire nodded. “So you brought her inside so she’d stay warm by the fire.”

“We might have to keep her here through the winter, though I worry about her spirit.”

“And the smell.” Baelfire loved his sheep, but there was a reason they were kept far away from where he ate. “So that’s all sorted, isn’t it? What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that these things take time, son. I won’t even try to milk her until tomorrow.”

“And Gideon will need to eat before that.” He let out a heavy sigh. “What do you think?”

“I doubt any other shepherds have kept their sheep milking this late into the season, same with cows or goats. No animal is going to help us.”

“So a person,” Bae said. “A human woman, who is nursing a baby.” It all made sense now. “Tabat. We need to take Gideon to Tabat.”

Papa nodded. “I didn’t want anyone to know about him so soon,” he said. “It’s easier to believe a foundling would be a few months old, not two days.”

“And Tabat knows babies.” Baelfire began to put on his clothes. “They’ll be no fooling her about how old he is. Or that he needs a mother.”

At least he could tell her the truth about that. Gideon’s mother was dead.

“Tell them he is your brother,” Papa told him. “He’s my son, and the mother is gone. That’s all anyone needs to know.”

“Wait, am I doing this alone?” Bae asked. “You’re not coming with me?”

Papa gestured down to where he was no longer lame. “I don’t have an explanation for this yet.”

“Yet,” Baelfire snorted. “I’m sure you’ll figure out some story.”

“No one’s seen me in months anyway. Maybe they’ll have forgotten what I used to be.”

“We could just say you spent the whole time on a pilgrimage somewhere and found some magic that healed you.”

Papa grinned. “Maybe. But one step at a time, Bae. Right now the only thing that matters is Gideon.”

“Right.”

Together, they took the straps he had used the day before and bound Gideon’s swaddled form to Baelfire’s chest, front to front. Papa was better with the knots than he was. Everything was more secure now that he was able to help.

“Will you be alright while we’re gone?” Baelfire asked him.

Papa shrugged. “Of course.”

“No, I mean--” How to say it? “--In your heart? You--you know we’ll come back, right?”

Papa took Baelfire’s face in both hands and kissed him on the forehead. Then he kissed Gideon on his tiny, hairless scalp.

“I do,” he said. “I promise, I will be alright.”

“He’ll need a few feedings before tomorrow morning. I’ll ask if we can stay the night.”

“They’re good people,” Papa said. “They won’t turn you away.”

He nodded. There was one more thing he had to ask before he left. “Papa, it’s after the harvest now. You told them you’d talk more about me and Morraine after the wheat harvest.”

“I did,” Papa said. “And you can tell them I’m ready to discuss the matter whenever they like.”

Baelfire’s breath caught in his throat. “Really?”

Papa looked at him, a little sadly, and nodded. “I never wanted to keep you from being happy, Bae. Morraine is a perfect match for you. You two should be together. I just--it all had to wait, until we knew what would happen with the baby.”

Baelfire rubbed his thumb against Gideon’s back. He was sleeping, for now. His little hands were scrunched up in front of his red face. It all made sense to him now. His brother was worth waiting to be with Morraine for. Gideon was worth all the lies and the secrets. Gideon was worth everything.

“We’ll be back tomorrow morning,” he promised.

“I know,” Papa said.

****

Gideon slept through the journey to town. Walking through the forest, Baelfire saw the familiar path with new eyes. Morning sun shone through the trees in beams of golden light. Everywhere around him, he saw something he wanted to tell Gideon about. The trees, the animals, everything he knew, every memory he had of their home, he wanted to share it with his brother.

Of course it would be years before he’d be old enough to understand, but that didn’t keep Baelfire from planning what he was going to say. The world was so beautiful, and there was so much of it, even on this little path. He understood why Papa always talked about knowing things as being so important. If Gideon could just be told everything that Baelfire’d had to learn from experience, then he’d know it all that much sooner. He’d be spared a little heartache, and that was the most important thing in the world.

“I’m gonna tell you everything,” he murmured into the skin of his head. “And you’re gonna have a better life than me, I promise. That’s all Papa ever wanted for me, and it’s all I want for you, Gid.”

He cut through the forest to get to Morraine’s house, instead of taking the main road. It was one thing to tell her and her family about his new brother, quite another to parade him in front of everyone. When he got to their back garden, Morraine was outside with two of her younger sisters. They were gathered around a fire on the ground, with a big iron pot hanging from a hook over it. From the smell, they were boiling down animal fat to make soap. Another child--a boy--was bent over the garden plot, being carefully observed by a baby barely old enough to toddle around without help.

Morraine’s face brightened when she saw him by the gate. Gods, her smile was perfect. Every time he saw that triangle, he wanted to stop the world so he could look at her forever. Maybe when Gideon was his age, he’d have someone to smile for.

“Baelfire!” She abandoned her work and ran up to let him in--but stopped short when she saw Gideon. “Baelfire, what are you doing with a baby?”

“It’s a long story,” he said as he came into the yard. “Is your mother home?”

“Of course. She’s minding the shop while Papa and the boys are threshing the wheat. Why aren’t you with them? Papa said he was looking forward to showing you how it’s done.”

“Right now, I have to take care of this one.”

Baelfire made his way into the house to the back entrance of the butcher shop. Morraine followed after him.

“Why do you have a baby? Where did he come from?”

It was rare in their friendship that Baelfire got a chance to be more clever than Morraine. Grinning, he took the opportunity. “Really? As many brothers and sisters as you have, and you don’t know where babies come from?” He shook his head and tutted.

“Oh shut up!” Morraine giggled. She probably would have shoved him, if he didn’t have Gideon on his chest.

There were no customers in the shop when they got there. Tabat leaned over the wooden counter, counting coins and writing in a ledger book. Near her feet, her newest baby was sitting up in a cradle, joyfully banging a wooden spoon against everything in reach. Tabat looked up when she heard them coming.

“Well, hello,” she said to Baelfire. She tilted her head at Gideon, and put her hands on her hips. “And who’s that?”

“Gideon,” Baelfire said. “He’s my brother. He’s two days old and he’s going to be hungry in a few hours.”

“That is usually the way.” If Tabat was shocked to see Baelfire carrying a baby, it took second place to making sure that the baby was taken care of. “Can I see him?”

With Morraine’s help, Baelfire undid the straps that held the baby to his chest. Gideon began to wake up at this new movement. His arms unfurled inside his swaddle, and his mouth opened. He didn’t cry, but there was a little sound as Baelfire handed him over to Tabat.

“There he is,” she cooed. “There’s a good little hogget.” She looked Gideon over, once he was in her arms. “He doesn’t look hungry yet, but I’ll take care of him when he is. How about you, lad?”

Baelfire shrugged, “I’m fine. I’m not as picky as he is.”

Tabat snorted. Cradling Gideon in one hand, she used the other to put away her tools of business. Then she turned to Baelfire.

“Now tell me again, you say he’s your brother?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Where’s his mother?” Morraine asked.

“Who’s his mother?” Tabat added.

“She’s gone,” Baelfire said. “She died, just after the birth. And--and she was… a lady, that Papa knew. I mean, guess he would have to know her. She didn’t live in the village, though. I didn’t know her until the birth. I think she was from far away.”

Tabat’s eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. “A lady?” she said. “Do you mean a lady lady? A lord’s lady?”

“I think so.” Baelfire covered up the half-lie with a shrug. “It was kind of hard to tell in the moment.”

“Rumpelstiltskin?” Tabat said. “With a noblewoman?”

“Your father had a love affair?” Morraine sounded delighted at the idea. “That’s so romantic! I bet she was married and that’s why they couldn’t be together.”

“Papa didn’t tell me a lot about how it happened,” Baelfire said, truthfully. “He probably never would have told me any of it, if it weren’t for the baby.”

“And now she’s dead, you say?” Tabat asked.

“Yes.”

“That’s so sad,” Morraine whispered.

Tabat made a noise, a sort of “Hmpf,” as she walked Gideon up and down the meat counter. Her brows furrowed, and she muttered to herself.

“Rumpelstiltskin?” she said. “Who would have ever thought? But then…” She raised her eyebrows, tilted her head back and forth. “They do say there’s someone for everyone.”

“We’ve been trying to feed the baby with sheep milk.” Baelfire tried to get the conversation back to the important part. “It worked well enough, except they stopped producing this morning.”

“When did he find out?” Tabat spoke like she was still trying to figure something out. “About the baby? Was it in the spring?”

Baelfire swallowed. “I think so,” he said. “Around the time of the shearing, probably.”

“Uh-huh.” Tabat nodded. Her expression turned smug, like she had just untied a tricky knot.

She must have done the arithmetic in her head, that a baby born in the fall would have been first known about in the spring. Even with this altered version of the truth where Gideon’s mother was an ordinary woman, it would follow that Papa knowing that a baby was coming would make him hesitate to arrange Baelfire and Morraine’s match.

“He did say that he wants to talk to you and Yahn again,” Baelfire said. Behind him, he heard Morraine gasp.

“Yes, and I imagine he’ll be more willing to show his face in the village as well, now that his big secret is finally out.” Tabat shook her head. “Oh, that man.” She looked at Gideon, tickled him under the chin. “Oh, that silly father of yours! The things people do when they’re in love!”

****

They spent a day and a night at Morraine’s. Gideon slept and nursed and slept again. Tabat strapped him to her chest inside her bodice, like she had for every one of her own children. Baelfire tried to help with Morraine’s chores, but he couldn’t let himself stay very far away from the baby. When Tabat noticed this, she put him to work taking care of her baby, who was older than Gideon and much more active. She kept him near and taught him as much as she could about minding children.

Morraine spent the whole day looking at Baelfire like he was a prince.

After sunset, Yahn and the older boys came back from the threshing. The whole family ate dinner on one long trestle table outside. When Tabat explained the situation to her husband, he laughed. They promised they would come up to the cottage soon to discuss terms for the betrothal.

He slept on the same pallet as Morraine, with most of her siblings in between them. He wanted to drift off while thinking about sleeping next to her, what it would be like to bury his face in her golden hair. But his thoughts always came back to Gideon. Every sound might be a cry, and he wouldn’t leave his brother to cry.

Despite his worries, he knew Gideon was safe. Tabat had placed him in the cradle next to her bed, right beside her own baby. She knew what she was doing. Gideon would be alright.

In the morning, Tabat asked if he wanted to leave Gideon with her, but he couldn’t do that. Papa was probably worried sick as it was. Baelfire promised Tabat and Morraine he would come back if there were any problems. They gave him as much food as he could carry and sent them on their way.

When they came home, Papa ran up with Baguette to greet them on the road. A night inside the cottage had done Dabbey a world of good. She had already given half a jug of milk. Papa took Gideon, and he looked happier than Baelfire had ever seen him.

Papa had done a lot of work while they were away. He could do more with two good feet. He’d washed every rag and blanket they had, including the one with embroidered stars that had used to belong to Baelfire. He’d brought in all the vegetables from the garden, and began the process of preserving them. He climbed a ladder and gone up onto the roof of the cottage to find weak spots in the thatch, so they could repair them before winter set in.

That night, they ate a feast of fresh pork, baked apples, and bread from the bakery. They talked of the future. How Gideon would grow. What they could do on the farm, now that they were two men working together. Hopeful as their talk was, there was still sorrow in Papa’s eyes. The past would always be fraught with loss. But Baelfire was able to look forward to the future, a world that had no darkness in it.

They were cleaning up dinner, when there was a thud against the door.

“What on earth is that?” Papa looked up. He was washing dishes, while Baelfire fed Gideon.

On instinct, Baelfire began to stand up, but Papa waved him off.

“Hello?” He called to the shut door. “Is someone there?”

There was no answer.

“It’s probably nothing,” Baelfire said.

“Yes, probably,” Papa agreed. But he picked up his staff and went to the door anyway.

Sitting on the hearth, Baelfire didn’t see what happened when his father opened the door. All he heard was another thud, then a gasp. Then Papa shouted:

“Belle!”

#dark mistress #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #baelfire

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redbone135 · 9 months

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The Best Part of the Holidays: A Baby’s POV

My first people: For the first few months of my life I’ve been in quarantine. No shots = no people. Not that I know much about people: my world is this house and my social life is very limited to Mom and Dad. But Thanksgiving changes all of that. Mom and Dad are having company and they’re very excited. They’ve been in quarantine, too. Mom makes a feast - she’s cooking for three days to get ready. No expense is spared on turkey and pie and champagne for all of the guests to toast me and my health. Dad cleans like crazy - he puts a new table cloth in the dining room, buys new plants for the garden, even gets me a new turkey outfit to wear. They’re excited, and I can see why - because at dinner… people arrive. Like Mom and Dad, but different. They bring flowers and gifts and side dishes. But I couldn’t care less about those things - they also bring tickles and hugs and stories to share with me. I’m so excited for the new people who talk to me and snuggle with me that I can’t sleep. First, I skip my afternoon nap. Then my evening nap. Then, bedtime rolls around and I have to be swaddled in an effort to coax sleep from me. It doesn’t work. Because everyone is laughing and having fun and I don’t want to miss a second of it! And that’s when Daddy gets the call…

Grandma is holding me: My grandma is the best. She is warm and patient and happy… normally. But today she is not. She is holding me tight and kissing my head and I love that, but she isn’t smiling at me like she normally does. She normally looks at me and says “Monkey” - my family calls me Monkey - “you are my sunshine!” But today, my Dad puts a hand on her shoulder and asks, “You ready to go, mom?” and he is wearing black just like Grandma. He is not smiling, just like grandma. “Monkey,” she whispers, looking into my eyes - we have the same blue eyes - “Grandma just needs a little extra strength today.” And she looks so grim that I think maybe she has forgotten how to smile. So I show her how - eyes wide, lips parted, nose crinkled. Just the way she taught me to. And it is my first real smile, but I must do a good job with it because it works. Grandma remembers. Her whole face lights up. “Did you see that?” she asks my Dad. “He smiled at me!” And Dad remembers how to smile too. Mom goes to get the camera. “I needed that today,” Grandma says, giving me a little extra hug. “I need my boys…” “We’ll be here as long as we can, mom,” Dad assures her. And we are all smiling because grandma is holding me.

Lights: Turns out Dad can stay longer than Mom. Dad drags a folding table out from the garage and sets it up in Grandma’s attic with a computer and a headset. That is apparently all he needs to stay. But Mom has something called a job - she’s been talking about it for a few days now - and while I’m hazy on the specifics, apparently they don’t have these jobs in Tennessee. There is some debate about whether I need to go back to Florida with Mom or stay in Tennessee with Dad - but Grandma settles that debate the way she settles all my cries and fits. She hugs me tight and promises to take care of me. So I get to stay with Grandma and she takes me to look at Christmas lights in the nearest city. Christmas lights are the best thing ever. They sparkle and blink and change color and I can’t tear my eyes away. There are tons of people out, but none of them stop to look at the lights. They are rushing in and out of stores and talking on their phones and I can’t believe I am the only one mesmerized by these beautiful, miraculous things, like stars, but so close I could touch them. Every time Grandma tries to take me into the stores I cry - missing the lights so badly. “Monkey, don’t worry, I just want to get your picture with Santa,” she explains, but I don’t like it. Not until I see the blinking blue lights on the tree next to Santa. In the picture, Santa is smiling at the camera. I am smiling at the lights. Grandma is smiling at me.

Singing: On Christmas Eve Mom and Dad take me to church for the first time. The pastor pulls Dad aside and asks about Grandma. Several of the congregation gather around Mom to ask her questions. I get fussy as they find their seats and try to get situated with me between them. I whine a little because I want Mommy to hold me. Then I whine a little more when she moves her necklace out of my reach. I’m not sure about this whole church thing… and then the most glorious thing happens. Everyone starts to sing, all together, like the Froggie Song Daddy sings when he tries to comfort me, but louder. And all together. With a piano. And bells. It’s beautiful and I start to nod my head along with the music. Even when they stand up and light the candles, I am still bobbing along. It is so nice of everyone to sing for me. On the car ride home mom asks, “Do you think Silent Night is a lie? I mean, newborn baby, lots of barn animals, it can’t have been quiet, could it?” But Daddy doesn’t answer, he has his head bowed in prayer.

New PJs: When it’s time for bed, Daddy puts me in a new set of PJs. Unlike my old pajamas, these are fuzzy. They are also too big. Dad rolls up the sleeves so I can stick my little hands out, but there is nothing that can be done about the feet: they hang loose - past my toes - like little flippers, making me look less like their little Monkey and more like a frog. While I am getting used to the idea of fuzzy pajamas, I listen to Mom and Dad talk. “What kind of dad am I going to be - I couldn’t even get his pj size right?!” “So we’ll save them for a few months and then he can wear them.” “But it’s Christmas Eve, he’s supposed to have new pjs on Christmas Eve.” “So we’ll put him in one of the pairs your mom got him in Tennessee.” “You don’t get it.” "Is this maybe not about the pajamas?” I stretch my little fingers out and gently place them over the polka dots on the front of my jammies, running the soft, fur-like material over my palms. Suddenly, I’m a stuffed animal: soft and round and warm. I’m so happy I give a little kick. The feet on my new pajamas go “flip-flop”. It’s a fun noise, and the movement bounces my crib back and forth like it’s rocking. I do it again, harder. The crib rocks again. Without taking my hands from the soft fur - because I can’t stop petting the soft fur - I kick again, this time two in a row and the floppy noise from my flipper feet is so funny I give a little giggle. These are great - I wish all my jammies had flipper feet. “Honey, look at him!” “What’s he doing?” “Having fun.” “You think he likes them?” “I think he loves them. And he loves you. And your step dad loved you, too.” I fall asleep that night, little fists clutching the new soft pajamas, snuggled up so warm that I sleep for six hours straight.

Bouncer: Christmas morning Mom and Dad take all the paper off the things that they spent the last two days putting it on. I don’t get it. They hold up each object for me to look at afterward. I don’t know what any of them are. Mommy picks up a new stuffed monkey - she wiggles it over my face pretending it is kissing me. I cross my eyes, trying to focus on it, but it’s still a little too fuzzy. Daddy helps me put a new dinosaur teething ring in my mouth. I suck on it for a minute or two and then spit it out, because if there isn’t any milk, what’s the point? After the parade of things, they put me in my bouncer to make tea and call Grandma. I’m relieved to be back in my bouncer and so I kick to get a decent bounce going, one foot and then two, until I’m laughing and having a great time. My Grandma put me in my bouncer the week they brought me home from the hospital. I was too small to bounce myself then, and so she would push it for me. But now I’ve really grown into it, and I’m so good at it. Mom takes a sip of her tea from her new cat mug in the doorway and smiles. “All those new toys and the only thing he wants to play with is his old bouncer,” she chuckles as Dad joins her, putting an arm around her waist and offering her a bit of a Christmas cookie he’d been eating. “If it ain’t broke,” Dad sighs, and then with a sad smile, “I wish he could have had a better first holiday season.” But I don’t know what he’s talking about - I had the best holiday season!

#prose #writing #holidays #parenthood #new baby

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the-shy-artisan · 2 years

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Cross posting another fic of mine from ao3 to here, another one of my personal favorites. A short two shot --condensed into one for easy posting-- detailing Kratos’s first and last moments with his daughter, Calliope.

From Beginning to End

The Beginning:

The newly born babe in his arms is impossibly small, but Kratos knows from the very moment he holds her that he loves her.

She arrived late into the world a squalling, red faced little thing; he had barely heard the handmaiden's triumphant announcement of "it is a girl, my lord!" over her cries. The words had stolen the strength from his legs and left him almost as breathless as his wife on the birthing table: a girl. A baby girl. Then, without much ceremony, the baby was bathed in strong wine, swaddled in linen, and laid upon Lysandra's chest. Only the sound of his wife's voice drew Kratos from his stupor. She called him to her and he stumbled to kneel beside them; pressing kisses into her sweat soaked hair as he stared in silent, joyful awe at the life they had created together.

Now, as his beloved rests, drained from her labor, Kratos tends to his daughter --a daughter, he thinks, his heart swelling-- cradling her as if she were made of glass. The newborn doesn't fuss or stir, still drowsy from her first feeding, and is more than content to snuffle into her father's chest, seeking his warmth. His throat threatens to close at the sight and he draws her closer to him in a protective embrace.

His fellow soldiers, although congratulatory in their words, had jeered that a man like him --a warrior like him-- should have sired a son. They even suggested that he leave his newborn exposed to the elements-- Sparta needed sons, not daughters: one less daughter would further the glory of their city state.

But their words meant little to Kratos. This was his first born, and he wouldn't part from her for all the riches and glory in the world.

With glory and Sparta momentarily forgotten, Kratos can't help but smile as he gently rocks his child, humming the words to a lullaby his mother once used to soothe him and his brother. Her skin is warm, flushed pink with life and still smells faintly of wine. Kratos brushes his lips over her tiny head and readjusts her in his arms.

"My little girl," he rumbles, "my little Calliope."

They named her Calliope.

And she was his whole world.

...

The End:

Years ago, Kratos knew from the very moment he had held her that he loved her.

The night of Calliope's birth had been one of the more happier moments of his life and she seemed to grow from small babe to young child in the blink of an eye. But she left the world too early, a screaming, red faced little thing; torn from his life by the swing of his own blade. He didn't even hear her pleading cries over the roar of his blood, lost in the rush of another kill. It was only the sound of her final scream that drew him back to his senses. The sight of her crumpled body stole the strength from his legs and left him as breathless as the dead that surrounded them.

My child... my little girl... how?

The blades fall from his hands in a clatter of chains and metal, and Kratos stumbles to kneel beside her. His beloved Lysandra lay not far away, gutted like the rest of the congregation. The walls of the temple seem to press in on him, groaning and creaking as the flames continue to spread; the air hot and rank with the stench of cooking flesh.

Careful of the chains overlapping his forearms, Kratos slips his hands under Calliope and cradles her against his chest, handling her as if she were made of glass. Her skin is light compared to his own --she always did take after her mother, he thinks bitterly-- cooling against his warmth.

I left you safe in Sparta...

His throat threatens to close, choking him from the smoke and the sob he can't seem to hold back. He brushes the disarrayed curls from her face and places a kiss over each of her closed eyes.

And there, kneeling amongst the blood and the lost in the burning temple, Kratos rocks his daughter, humming the words to the lullaby his mother once used to soothe him and his brother to sleep.

They had named her Calliope.

And she was his world.

#god of war #god of war fanfic #paige's writing tag

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thecraftymagician · 2 years

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Asra as a Parent:

Warnings: Spoilers for Asra's Route and the Travel At Night story

As if you didn't already fill their life with so much joy, as if you didn't already seemingly give them the world. Just absolutely so ecstatic. Cried if/when finding out MC is pregnant and/or if they mention wanting to start a family or adopting.

They aren't as nervous about being parents with MC. Sure they want to learn and research but know that mistakes might happen and what matters most is caring and love for the little bundle. There is a little insecurity as they don't remember a whole lot of their childhood with their parents but are so so happy that the duo are there now to help. (They can't wait to be grandparents!)

Baby is not leaving their arms hardly ever. They are obsessed with this tiny bean. Every yawn, coo, or even cry is pure magic. Absolutely wears a baby sling (the swaddle scarf wrap thing?) and takes them out for fresh air often, even if just for short trips to the market or to visit friends/family.

Sometimes Faust likes to sleep next to or wrapped around the baby which would scare most people, especially when she gets close like that in public, but she's absolutely just gentle and loves bean. They play peek-a-boo together alot.

Will try their best to stay up with the baby but they'll likely fall asleep. Asra absolutely naps with the baby daily and loves skin to skin contact.

Definitely let's them crawl around and explore whatever they want (though anything breakable or dangerous is far out of reach). They'll always keep an eye out but won't really hover too much while the bean is toddling around. He wants them to have plenty of space to be themselves and learn/grow but are always there when they need him.

Gentle. Parenting. Royalty.

Loves to show off little magic tricks when they're upset or just for fun. They love to make little galaxies on the ceiling and other slow moving ASMR stuff to help the baby sleep. Best healing kisses for ouchies ever (besides MC)!

Maybe even before they can walk, baby is already included in travels. At first it's nowhere too far but eventually when they're old enough they'll go with to Nopal's Painted Daisy Festival and other things of the like. Going foraging together in the forest with Muriel is a regular occurrence.

Won't push or force magic on them but really encourages it as, well, it's a whole family thing really. Will always support whatever they want to do and who they want to be/are. If they want to learn he will be right there with them guiding their journey and will of course have MC join too.

Has Muriel make protective charms for the little bean and always has protective spells on them just in case.

Probably have multiple instances such as Asra's teapot one with their parents. Either passes on the Arcana book his parents made or helps make a new one special for the bean to learn with. Also just carries them around the shop sometimes and points out different things and what they do.

This one doesn't really have a specific order and is a bit jumbled but I tried to fit things together.

#the arcana #thearcanagame #asra the magician #asra the arcana #arcana game #asra alnazar #asra x apprentice #asra x mc #asra x oc #asra x reader #the arcana headcanons #asra headcanons

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parkersroses · 3 years

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mother’s day. | harry styles.

summary: it’s mother’s day and harry makes you breakfast in bed, no thanks to your little baby’s help.

pairing: harry styles x fem!reader

wc: 2.4k words

warning(s): all fluffy like cotton candy <3

a/n: (disclaimer: gif belongs to @harrysimpact) happy mother’s day everyone! enjoy this fic about husband/dad!harry !! make sure to reblog and comment if you like it, consider donating to my ko-fi too if you like this or any of my other writings. all the love <3

The sun is just rising when Harry wakes up; even for him it’s very early and he’s usually a morning person. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and stretches, feeling a pop between the muscles as he does so. He makes sure to switch off any alarms to ensure his wife doesn’t wake up soon. He even switches off the baby monitor next to her bedside table too, hoping their baby doesn't wake up so soon either, though it would be inevitable knowing she’ll cry for milk.

It’s mother’s day. What’s more exciting is that it is your first mother’s day as a mother.

Over the last year, you have found motherhood to be as challenging as you expected. It started off with the morning sickness and strange feeling of not bearing a certain smell. At that point, both you and Harry had already discussed having children. It’s something the both of you always wanted and you knew yourself that Harry would be an amazing father to your children. The thought of having a little human that was half of you and half of the person you love and adore, running and playing around the house as your husband playfully chases after them in your backyard while you watch with awe. It was a cute little dream in your heads that soon became a reality.

You both cried when you found out about your pregnancy. It was a momentous and exciting moment for you. Over the several months during your pregnancy, Harry had grown a bit overprotective about you and your little bub, yet you don’t really blame him for it and assumed it’s just his pre-fatherly instincts kicking in. Harry had always made sure to accommodate to your (weird and odd) needs and cravings. He’d happily wake up in the middle of the night and get you both some snacks, despite being tired himself.

Your favourite part though, is whenever Harry would talk to little bub. Even when you weren’t showing yet, he’d always talk to the baby girl in your belly, occasionally singing to her, telling her how much daddy and mommy loves her and that he’ll always be around to look after her. That makes you cry sometimes, because you knew already that he is the best dad to your baby.

Little Amy was soon born before you both know it. You still remember holding the little human of your own in your arms, all swaddled up in a fluffy blanket, her eyes wide open as she was introduced into this whole new world. She had captured both of your hearts and you both knew it. She was the most precious person you’ve laid your eyes on and you both love her immensely.

Harry for one could not believe that he was finally a father, considering he’s always dreamt of having a little family of his own. It was up until the delivery that he remembers how much you’ve given to carry Amy and how amazing you are to have carried and nurtured her for so long. He’s never loved anyone even more than he loves you and now with Amy.

Harry intentionally wakes up earlier than you today, despite his schedule begging for him to sleep again. He looks over you next to him, seeing that you’re still huddled up under your thick blankets and your face pressed against your pillow. He takes notice of your chest rising and falling from every breath you take and how pretty you look on this morning.

He leans over and plants a small kiss on your head, careful to not wake you as he gets out of bed. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and walks out of your room, gently closing the door behind him.

He makes his way across the hall to where little Amy is sleeping in her nursery. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already up at this hour, probably so she could cry out for some food or comfort from her parents. Harry slowly opens the door, he can already hear the soft sounds of Amy moving around in her crib.

It’s almost as if she’s been waiting for him to come because her head perks as he leans over her crib. “Good morning, my little bub,” he says gently to her, already smiling so bright at the adorable little human looking up at him. Amy looks up at him with the same bright smile, her limbs flailing around in excitement as she sees her father.

“Da,” she says, giggling as he caresses her head lovingly. Her arms reach up, signalling that she wants to be carried like the little princess Harry says she is. He gladly picks her up, letting their noses nuzzle against each other before he kisses her head.

“Y’know what today is, bub?” Harry asks Amy. Amy merely stares at him, not understanding a single word, with the same green eyes she inherited from him. It still makes him choke up just thinking about it. Amy coos as her little hands trace over the swallow tattoos. “Today’s Mother’s Day,” he says in an excited voice, and he chuckles at the way her head perks up.

“Mama?” She asks, her green eyes staring innocently and adorably at him. He nods, bouncing her lightly in his arms as he carries her out from the room.

“That’s right, bubba. It’s mama’s day, and you’re gonna help me make her breakfast. Except you won’t really be doing anything but watching me and keeping me company. Let’s be honest, your cooking skills aren’t the most helpful yet, bubs,” he tells her as they enter the kitchen, setting Amy down in her high chair.

Amy giggles, seemingly finding whatever Harry said funny. He grins at his adorable little baby, sometimes all he wants to do is cuddle with her and smother her with all the love he has for her. “Yeah bubs? Gonna help me or sit here lookin’ cute and adorable while daddy cooks?” He asks as he leans down so his face is levelled with hers. Amy simply giggles and nods at his father, even though she tends to nod at nearly everything they both say to her.

Harry laughs and kisses her chubby cheeks. “Love you, my little bub,” he tells her. She babbles at him as her hands reach for his face. “Yeah, love me too? I think you do,” he says, kissing her little nose which makes her giggle again.

Harry begins to make breakfast as Amy sits and watches him, babbling and cooing at him as he does. He nods and talks back to her like they are having a simple conversation, him simply agreeing with whatever she says.

“Want a bite, bub?” He holds up a piece of strawberry in front of Amy and he grins widely as she tries to reach out for the red fruit. “Taking that as a ‘yes, please’,” he jokes as he bites off a tiny piece of the fruit for her to take. Amy hums in delight as she munches. He watches in awe of the little baby as he eats the rest of the fruit.

At one point, he heats up some milk as Amy starts to get fussy.

Harry doesn’t make much for breakfast, simply making some half boiled eggs, french toasts, some cut up fruits and coffee. He hums in the tune of one of his songs, Amy bobbing her head as she drinks her milk, enjoying this quality time with her father as he hums and sings to her. It is no doubt that she has grown familiar with the songs he sings to her. Harry’s convinced that she must’ve heard him even when she was still in your belly.

As he watches the oil sizzling around the bread, he feels two arms wrapped around his waist and a head on his shoulder. He grins at the familiar touch of his wife. It’s amazing how the both of you have grown familiar to each other’s touch through all the years.

He turns around, keeping a hand on the handle of the pan and the other arm wrapped around you, kissing your head. “Morning, my love,” he says, laying his head on hers. “Morning, baby,” you mumble out in a tired voice. “Bed was cold,” you pout as you stifle a yawn from your mouth.

He chuckles at your tired state, knowing how much you enjoy waking up next to him instead of an empty bed space. “Happy Mother’s day, lovie,” he tells you, smiling as he sees how your face lights up at his words. You couldn’t believe it yourself that you’re able to spend this special with your little family. “Thank you, bubs,” you beam at him, leaning up to kiss him. Harry hums into the kiss, his lips moving slowly against yours.

A baby’s babbling snaps you both from the kiss you shared, you could see your baby girl whining as she reaches out for you. You both laugh at this, breaking away as you walk over to her. “Hello, my little baby love,” you say as you kisses all over her face, eliciting giggles from Amy. “Mama,” she says, nuzzling her face into your neck.

“Have you been helping daddy cook?” You ask her as you brush through her soft curls. You hear Harry scoff behind you as you say this. “She hasn’t been helping at all, just bossing around in her little high chair,” he says jokingly, Amy laughs at his fake pouty expression directed at her.

“And you,” he says as he turns off the stove, walking over to you. “Should be in bed. Was gonna bring ya breakfast in bed as a surprise. All romantic and shit.” You slap a hand on his shoulder as he curses. Harry laughs at this as he wraps his arms around you. “Don’t swear around her,” you tell him with a fake angry tone.

Amy pays no attention to them, busying herself by finishing her little bottle of milk. You turn around to face him, hanging her arms around his shoulders. “Now, I feel bad. I could just run back up, pretend to be asleep until you come in,” you suggest, running your fingers through his curls. He sighs at the comforting feeling.

“Mmm. The surprise is kind of ruined now, so,” he shrugs as he says in a matter of fact. You roll your eyes at him. “Well, I still would love to have breakfast in bed with my baby and my handsome and loving, made by said husband,” you say cheekily at him.

Harry grins at you, resting his forehead on yours. “Handsome and loving husband, huh? Gotta be one lucky bloke to have married an amazing woman,” he teases, making you throw your head back laughing. “Alright then,” he says, patting your bum. “Go on then. Pretend you’re sleeping, give me an award-winning performance when I come up.”

You hum as you give him a quick peck on the lips. “See you in bed, my handsome husband!” You call out behind you as you make your way out of the kitchen. Amy puts down her finished bottle and frowns as her mother goes off. “Mama?” She pouts at her father.

Harry comforts her as he kisses her head. “We’ll join her in a bit, Amy. Gotta get breakfast ready.” She coos in response as she traces over the butterfly tattoo on his stomach.

Harry puts Amy in the baby sling they bought for her as he prepares the food on a tray. He coos at her as she cuddles up on his chest, loving the warmth he radiates. He slowly balances the food tray as they ascend up the stairs to your bedroom.

When he pushes the door open, he sees you in bed, seemingly asleep, although the hint of smile on your face would say otherwise. He gently sets the tray down on your bed. Amy is already reaching out for you as he sits next to you.

He shakes you gently. “Wake up, lovie.” Your eyes flutter open, smiling sweetly at your two loves. “Hello, my loves,” you say to them. You both laugh at the silliness as you lean up to kiss his lips. You take Amy out of the sling and set her on your lap.

“So, was my performance worthy of an award?” You tease him as you kiss all over Amy’s face, making her giggle.

“Oh yeah, definitely. Couldn’t tell you were acting,” he plays along.

You sniff in the delicious scent of food laid out in front of you. You moan in delight as you lay your head on his shoulder. “I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you too, honey.” He kisses your head. He kisses you again, long enough for the feel of his lips to linger on yours. “Happy Mother’s day,” he says lovingly, taking a piece of the french toast he made.

You beam at him as he entertains with Amy’s babbling. And you think to yourself, you would much rather just stay at home, order in food and watch movies in bed with them today. Perhaps Harry might be up to take a nice bubble bath when Amy has her usual afternoon naps.

Truthfully, you couldn’t wait to spend more Mother’s Days, as long as you are with your two loves. And hopefully, with more little ones in the future.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #dad!harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #parkersroses writing #harry styles x reader

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fanficbitch · 3 years

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In Another Life // Jane Emily

A/N: The first child between Y/N and Hotch!

Aaron Hotchner x y/n

September 2013

The level of uncomfort I am feeling is indescribable. It hurts when I lay on my side, it hurts when I lay on my back, it hurts to sit. Just everything is painful. I don’t know how people do this multiple times. This might have to be my only pregnancy.

Aaron has been out on a case for the last four days and I am practically useless. So Jess has been coming over to help and take care of Jack. I don’t know how we would survive without her.

Jess left me propped up against the headboard by at least four pillows. I am nearly sitting up. However, this just happens to be the best position that I have found. I glance at my clock and see that it is nearly 2 in the morning. I have to get some sleep, but I don’t feel that happening soon.

To my surprise, the door to my bedroom opens to reveal Aaron. “What are you still doing up?” he asks as he walks in.

“I can’t sleep. I’m too uncomfortable,” I whine. Aaron gives me a sympathetic look then begins to undress from his suit. “How was the case?”

“A little complicated. We were stumped for a while till Reid had a genius moment and figured it out.”

I chuckle slightly. “He’s quite good at that, isn’t he?”

Once Aaron has his pajamas on he gets into bed and properly greets me with a kiss. “Now, how have you been?”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly,” he confirms.

“I have just been miserable. I can’t sleep or sit properly,” I say then place my hands on my stomach. “I just need this baby out.”

“It should only be a few more days,” Aaron assures me.

“Your time off starts now right?” I ask and he nods. Although him and I both know that he could still be called in at any minute.

Aaron scoots closer to me so he can place his hand on my belly. Almost immediately, I feel kicks at the top of my stomach. Aaron smiles while I wince in pain. “I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” I mutter.

“You have to admit she knows her daddy,” Aaron smiles. A true smile from him. I am lucky and see them more than most people do, but every time I see one I am overjoyed.

I place my hand on his cheek and his eyes meet mine. “This baby has no idea just how lucky she is,” I say.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Aaron says. He leans in and kisses me slowly until the kicking starts again. I place my hand on top of his hand that rests on my belly.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I whisper into his hair.

“Me too,” he smiles.

**********

When I wake up, it’s to a jolt of pain. With my eyes closed, I reach my hand out and try to find my boyfriend’s hand. After a moment of searching, I open my eyes and see that no one is there.

I check my clock and see that it is almost 7 in the morning, which means Aaron is already knee deep in emails.

I hoist myself out of bed and waddle down the stairs. I find Aaron exactly where I expect to find him, in his office. I peek inside and see him intently staring at his computer with his glasses on. “Hey,” I whisper as I walk in the doorway.

“Hey,” he says and whips off his glasses. He quickly gets up and leads me out of the office and into the living room then onto the couch. Once I’m settled, Aaron takes the other side of the couch. “How was your night?”

I sigh. “It was rough. I had contractions nearly the whole night, but they’re at least a half hour apart and not lasting very long.”

“Okay, well do you want me to make you some breakfast?”

“Always,” I smile.

“On it,” Aaron says and gives me a kiss before heading to the kitchen.

I manage to get a magazine off the coffee table and flip through it for a few minutes, then I get bored. I move to the dining room so I can overlook Aaron in the kitchen as he makes breakfast.

“So, how has work been today?” I ask.

“I’m on vacation,” Aaron tells me.

“Listen honey, we can do this whole thing where we both pretend you aren’t working, but know you are. Or we can just talk about it,” I say as he bites his bottom lip in thought. “I really don’t mind. I like hearing about work.”

“Well in that case, Morgan is taking over for me while I’m gone and he was just asking a few questions,” he says as he butters my toast. “He says he’s going to do his best not to bother us these next two weeks.”

“Hmm, okay,” I hum.

“What?” Aaron asks as he slides the toast in front of me then sits next to me.

“I just don’t think there is anyway you can stay away from work for that long,” I say. “If Morgan doesn’t call you I’m sure you’ll lend your services.”

“That is not true,” he fights back. I raise my eyebrows at him, but still continue to eat my toast. But halfway through my first piece, pain pierces through my stomach. I lean over and clutch my stomach with one hand while my other one finds Aaron’s hand. “Just breathe through it,” Aaron coos and I do. It’s over within 30 seconds, but it was still painful.

I look up and meet his eyes once it’s over. “Are you sure these aren’t braxton hicks?” Aaron asks.

“I’m sure. These are way stronger than ones I’ve gotten earlier,” I say and he nods.

Just then, a sleepy Jack turns into the dining room, still in his pajamas. “Hey buddy,” Aaron says.

“Hey,” Jack croaks then sits at his seat. “Could I have breakfast please?”

“Yes, I will get you some cereal,” Aaron says then runs off to the kitchen. Jack’s sleepy expression quickly turns to happy when he realizes what we’re getting close to.

“Could she come today?” Jack asks excitedly.

“She could,” I say with a nod.

“Can you please, please, please tell me her name?” he begs.

“We aren’t set on anything,” Aaron says as he returns to the dining room with the cereal. Jack looks back at me from his dad and I give him a wink. I’d say we’re pretty set on the name, Aaron just doesn’t completely know that yet.

Jack quickly finishes his cereal then goes upstairs to get changed. Aaron slips on shoes even though he is still wearing his pajamas. “You’re taking him to school like that?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s just an interesting choice for someone who usually wears a suit everyday,” I say. “At least I won’t have to worry about any soccer moms hitting on you.”

“I think they’ve learned better by now,” Aaron says as Jack runs down the steps with his bag. “Okay, buddy let’s go,” Aaron says as he ushers him to the garage.

“Bye Jack!” I call.

“Bye Mom!” he calls back and then the door shuts. I’m still not completely used to Jack calling me mom, but I still love it.

I get myself out of the dining room chair then waddle towards the steps. Before I can even get up one step, a gush of water spreads down my legs. Oh no.

**********

Luckily, it did not take Aaron long to get back. Once he got home, we both sprang into action and grabbed our things then got in the car.

I got checked in relatively quickly and am currently sitting in my hospital bed. The contractions just keep getting closer and closer together. I know she’s coming soon.

“Aaron,” I say because he is across the room talking to the doctor. He quickly leaves the doctor and comes to my side. “Hold my hand,” I say, nearly begging.

“Of course,” he says and takes my hand.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“The doctor is going to check to see how far along you are,” he says and I nod.

Dr. Larson soon pops out from my lower parts with a smile. “Okay, Mama it’s time to push. Are you ready?”

I look to Aaron before responding. He gives me a reassuring nod which gives me more confidence then he’ll ever know. “Let’s do this,” I say.

HOTCH POV

I lightly coo to the new bundle of joy that rests in my arms. I try to be as quiet as possible because Y/N just fell asleep.

I slowly rock my arms back and forth as my baby stares up at me. She’s calm and quiet, just like her dad. She let out a few cries the moment she was born, but since then she’s been quiet as a mouse. Her eyes flutter open and close, showing me her beautiful brown eyes.

I glance up at my girlfriend again. I can’t believe we created something so precious. I forgot that feeling when you have a newborn, but it’s all coming back. The warmth, the wholeness, the pureness. I can’t believe I have gone eight years without this feeling.

There is a soft knock at the door, then Jessica pokes her head in. “Can you take a visitor?” she asks and I raise my eyebrow, unsure. She pushes the door open a little wider and Jack carefully steps into the room. Jessica closes the door again to give us some privacy.

“Can I see her?” Jack asks softly and I nod. He comes the rest of the way over and stares down at her. “She’s really small.”

“You were this small once,” I whisper. We both stare down at her for a moment while she sleeps.

“Can I have my baby back?” I hear from behind Jack. Y/N has woken up from her very short nap, but has her arms held out for a baby.

“I wanted you to sleep a little longer,” I say as I stand up slowly.

“I can’t,” Y/N says. “This bed is lumpy.”

Finally, Y/N notices Jack and shows a large smile. “Jack! Did you get to meet your sister yet?”

“Yeah, but she’s sleeping,” he says.

Y/N scoots over to make a small empty space on the bed. “Come up here,” Y/N says. Jack hops up on the bed so he is squeezed next to Y/N. “Do you want to hold her?”

Jack nods excitedly. “Okay,” I say as I place her in Jack’s arms. “Make sure you support her head,” I add. Once the nerves go away, I realize my heart is bursting. The three people I love most in the world all in one place.

“Can I know her name now please?” Jack begs.

I look down at Y/N and smile which is all the confirmation she needs. “Okay,” Y/N says. “Her name is-,”

“Hi!” I hear from the doorway. Garcia is standing with a large bouquet of balloons. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, come in,” I say and she does. Garcia sets the balloon holder on the ground then slowly walks up to the bed. She looks down at our baby for a moment, then covers her mouth.

“Oh my gosh, she is just beautiful!” Garcia says.

“Well we think so,” I say as I stare down at her. She begins to fuss in her swaddle then lets out a loud wail. Y/N takes our baby from Jack then sighs.

“I think she’s hungry,” Y/N says.

“Okay, we’ll give you guys a minute,” Garcia says then leads Jack out of the room. Before I know it, Y/N is already feeding our baby. I sit on the edge of the bed and place my hand Y/N’s leg.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/N chuckles.

I shake my head in disbelief. “I’m just so happy,” I say. “I am also so proud of you. I can’t believe you brought this beautiful, little girl into our lives.”

Y/N smiles down at her. “She is pretty perfect.”

I lean forward all the way and give her a kiss. “You’re perfect,” I whisper.

“Oh, Aaron,” Y/N laughs.

The more I think about it, the more I realize my whole life is perfect. I have a beautiful wife, two healthy children and a stable job. There is nothing more I could ever want.

I scoot closer to my daughter and my girlfriend. “Jane, how have we gone this long without you?” I ask.

153 notes · View notes

wishuhadstayed · 3 years

Text

It Takes a Village

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Word Count: about 3000

Summary: when the Hotchner fam is in need, it’s a good thing to have many helping hands. Part 9 to Begin Again.

Warnings: mentions of blood and pregnancy complications

Author’s Note: I really am sorry for that cliffhanger y’all. 😬 I’m just glad you still love me after being gone for like, a literal year. Shoutout to @agent-laufeyson you’re the best 💜 (PS, please ignore Haley in the below gif, also please picture Hotch in the hospital in casual clothes.) 😌

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

For a moment, Aaron’s whole world stopped turning. A cold, familiar sense of dread settled into his chest at the words, “You all may want to sit down for this.”

“Not again,” he thought. “I can’t do this again, we can’t do this again.”

“God please,” he begged internally, slumping into a chair, “if you’re listening, please don’t take her. We need her.”

Suddenly, the voice of a surgeon cut through the silent room like a knife.

“Sir, your wife lost a significant amount of blood. We had no choice but to perform an emergency c-section. Although your daughter is slightly pre-term, she seems to be in good health. However, we would like to keep her a while for monitoring.”

“And my wife?” He inquires, voice trembling with fear.

“It was touch and go there for a while, but we were able to locate the source of bleeding and get it under control. Your wife is out of surgery. She’s stable, but she is very weak and currently asleep. She will also be hospitalized for recovery. At least a week most likely, maybe longer.”

“Mama’s gonna be okay?” Jack pipes up.

“Yes, she is buddy,” Aaron replies, ruffling his hair. “Thanks to that doctor.”

“Thanks for making my mama feel better.”

“You’re most welcome,” the surgeon replied. “You and your dad can go visit her now. The rest of you will have to wait. She needs her rest. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you doctor,” Aaron says, shaking his hand with a sigh of relief.

“You go Aaron,” Rossi encourages, clapping him on the shoulders before he even had a chance to turn around. “Go see your wife and baby. We’ll wait.”

——————————————————————————

Entering your hospital room, Aaron thought your sleeping face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Sitting on the side of your hospital bed, he grabbed hand as you stirred awake.

“Hello Angel,” he murmurs as you take everything in. “You gave us quite a scare,” he mentions, softly caressing your face.

“The baby,” you whisper, touching his hand.

“Ssssshhhh,” he soothes. “The baby is fine. She’s in the nursery. You just rest okay?”

Instant relief washes over your face. “Jack?”

“I’m right here mama!” he exclaims, scrambling into Aaron’s lap.

“I want to see the baby,” you tell Aaron.

“I know darling, but you really need your rest.”

“I NEED to see her, Aaron.” You plead.

Taking the hint, he begins to rise. “Jack why don’t you stay with mama, while I go talk to the nurse, okay?”

“Okay Daddy,” he agrees, climbing in the bed next to you.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better mama,” Jack says, looking up at you with the sweetest face.

“Me too, baby,” you reply. “Are you ready to meet your sister?”

“Yeah!” he exclaims with a look of excitement. “Can I hold her?”

“Of course you can buddy, as long as you’re careful,” Aaron replies as he re-enters the room. “The nurses are bringing her down.”

A few minutes later a nurse arrives holding a tiny pink blanket. “Who wants to hold her first?” She inquires.

“You should hold her first, Aaron,” you suggest.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he insists. “You’ve been the strongest, bravest mom I know already. You should hold her first.”

As the nurse places the tiny, squirming bundle with her father’s dark hair in your arms, all the stress and chaos of the day seems to just melt away.

As you free a tiny hand from the swaddle so she can grasp your finger, her eyes flutter open.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” you wonder aloud.

“Absolutely lovely,” Aaron muses, draping his arm around your shoulders. “Just like her mother.”

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, cooped up in the waiting area, the BAU team began to grow restless.

“Maybe we should get out of the hospital and go shopping while we wait,” Garcia suggests. “I think Y/N deserves all the gifts and pretty things today.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” JJ questions.

“TARGET RUN!” all three women exclaim in unison.

They all wandered the aisles like kids in a candy store.

“I’m getting her balloons,” Penelope says. “Like so many pink balloons. Nobody can feel bad with that many balloons.”

“Flowers,” Rossi chimes in. “We should get her plenty of flowers to make the room cheerful.”

“We’ll have to get those from hospital gift shop,” JJ comments.

“I’d want chocolate,” Emily suggests. “Chocolate helps everything.”

“Look,” Morgan says, showing a pink stuffed bunny to Garcia. “It’s cute right? For the baby?”

“It’s perfect, Derek,” she assures, grabbing his hand. “Very cute.”

“Oh, a memory book,” Reid mentions. “So they can write down details every day.”

“Leave it to the genius to pick out a book,” Morgan jokes with a playful shove.

“Settle down, boys.” JJ cuts in. “As much as I’m sure she’ll appreciate the pretty gifts, she did just have a baby,” she reminds the group. “She needs some practical things too, trust me.” As she picks out a blanket and a pacifier, Henry begins to grow restless. As she picked up a snack for him, another idea crossed her mind.

“We should get something for Jack, too,” she thought aloud. “LEGOs. He loves LEGOs. And some gummy bears.”

A sudden ringing startles everyone.

“Ssssshhhhhhh,” Garcia commands as she puts the phone on speaker. “It’s Y/N! Quiet!”

“Hello my angel dear,” she lilts, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m very tired, but otherwise happy and healthy,” you report. “Is everyone with you?”

“We’re all here,” JJ chimes in.

“Hi everyone!” You reply. “In that case, I have news. The nurses have said that we’re allowed to have visitors first thing in the morning, if you’d like to see our newest addition.”

“Oh, wild horses could not keep us away, ma’am.” Penelope assures. “We’ll see you all bright and early.”

“Not too early, Penny,” you remind her. “You gotta give me a chance to wake up first.”

“Right, sooooo 10am then?”

“It’s a date.”

——————————————————————————

That evening, you soaked up as much family time as possible before the wave of visitors began. Aaron was a natural, as you’d known he would be from seeing him with Jack.

Watching him with the baby was quickly becoming your favorite pastime. The look of sheer enchantment on his face as he held her close and rocked her made you fall a little more in love with him every moment.

“Daddy loves you so much,” he coos to the tiny bundle in his arms.

“What?” he questions as he catches you watching.

“Oh nothing,” you reply, ruffling Jack’s hair as he slept by your side. “Just wondering how I got so lucky.”

“I think it’s me who got lucky. I thought I’d never love again. I was so closed off. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life as a single dad, doing everything on my own. Now,” he chokes out, “now I’d fall apart without you.”

“Good thing you’ve got two of us now to keep you boys in line then,” you return with a wicked grin. “She’s got you wrapped around her finger already.”

——————————————————————————

When you awoke the next morning, you were greeted by the most beautiful sight. Aaron still asleep in the recliner next your bed, his arm cradling the sleeping baby on his chest. While you hated to disturb the peaceful scene, you knew the team would be arriving as soon as the clock struck 10.

“Aaron,” you whisper. “Aaron, wake up,” slightly louder this time. He stirs awake, moving slowly so as not to wake the sleeping child.

“What is it babe?”

“The team will be here soon,” you inform him.

“Ah. I should go get ready,” he replies.

“Mama, can I hold her while dad gets ready?” Jack asks, startling the both of you.

“Oh buddy, I didn’t realize you were awake,” you say to him. “Of course you can hold her if you want.”

Jack scrambled into your lap as Aaron rounded the bed.

“Just be really careful with her bud,” Aaron reminds him as he settles the baby on his lap.

“I will dad,” he replies.

As Aaron walked away, the baby’s eyes fluttered open and she let out a small cry.

“Here, why don’t you give her a pacifier?” you suggest.

“Sssshhhh, don’t cry,” he says, giving her the pacifier, and then softly stroking her head.

“What do you think about your baby sister, Jack?”

“She’s pretty, Mama, just like you.”

“Thank you baby,” you reply. “That’s very sweet. I love you.”

“I love you too, mama.”

“And I love you all,” Aaron adds.

——————————————————————————

A short while later, a knock at the door alerts you that your visitors have arrived.

“You ready for this?” Aaron asks as he walks to the door.

“I’ve never been more ready. I just know they’re gonna be so in love with her.”

Aaron opens the door and the team flows in with their myriad of gifts.

Penelope hands off her bouquet of balloons to Derek and rushes over to hug you.

“Oh Y/N,” she gushes, cupping your face. “You look beautiful. It’s so good to see you, we were all worried sick.”

“Thank you Penny,” you reply, eyeing the room. “I’m assuming the shopping spree was your idea.”

“Oh shush woman,” she scolds. “You deserve it. We wanted your room to cozy and pretty because we heard you’re going to be here for a while. Sue us.”

“Thank you all for the gifts, you really didn’t have to do any of that,” you reply, tearing up as you address the whole room. “Just being there for us when we needed you the most was all we could ask for and you’ve gone above and beyond.”

“This is the least we could do, really,” JJ assures, softly rubbing your hand.

“Oh fine, be modest if you insist,” you reply with an eye roll. “I’d open all the gifts now, but I imagine you’re all much more interested in our slightly earlier than anticipated arrival.”

Seemingly for the first time since they came in, everyone notices Aaron’s presence and the little pink bundle in his arms.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you continue, “the announcement you’ve all been waiting for. Introducing Miss Savannah Rose.”

“What a lovely name,” Emily chimes in.

“Thank you,” Aaron cuts in. “We would have told you all sooner but we actually just decided on it while we were here,” he says beaming down at his perfectly content infant daughter. “You can all hold her if you like.”

“I’m sure we’d all love to,” JJ replies, “but i think we should leave that you for now. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to spoil her rotten just as soon as she gets home.”

“Right! We just wanted to check on everyone and make sure you have everything you need,” Garcia adds.

“Well thanks to you guys, I think our hospital room is pretty well stocked. I just wish I could say the same for the nursery,” you say with a shrug.

“What’s wrong with the nursery?” Rossi inquires.

“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” Aaron admits. “Between me traveling so much for work and Y/N being pregnant and taking care of Jack, it got pushed to the wayside. I thought we had a bit more time.”

“Aaron, how many times do I have to tell you it’s not your fault?” you soothe, reaching for his hand. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“I know, I just wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

“It already is dear,” you assure him with a smile. “Why don’t you go get some coffee, you look exhausted.”

“Good idea babe,” he says, settling the baby into your arms.

“I could use a cup myself,” Morgan adds.

——————————————————————————

“Derek, I need your help,” Aaron pleads, once out of earshot of the room.

“Of course man, anything you need.”

“We’re going to be in the hospital for about a week while Y/N recovers and I’m desperate to have a nice nursery for her when we get home, but I obviously can’t leave her alone. I know it’s a lot to ask, but is there anything you could do to help?”

“Sure thing man, don’t worry about it. That’s the best gift I could hope to give you.”

“You’re the best,” Aaron replies, slapping him on the shoulder. “Just don’t let Y/N find out, okay? I want it to be a surprise.”

“My lips are sealed,” Derek promises.

——————————————————————————

That afternoon Derek had the whole team assembled in the nursery to get started.

“Alright everyone,” he begins, “We’ve got one week to make this the best surprise gift possible. Let’s make it happen.”

“What color should we paint it?” Penelope inquires.

“Got that covered already,” Derek replies while opening a paint can. “Purple. Hotch said it’s Y/N’s favorite color.”

“Oh Derek, it’s perfect!” she squealed, squeezing him tight. “She’s gonna adore it.”

“While the two of us are painting,” Penny addresses the group, “why don’t the rest of you do some some shopping?”

“Great idea, baby girl.” Morgan chimes in. “I think they’ve got the basics from the baby shower and I saw a crib and changing table in the garage, but I’m sure you guys can find things they’re missing.”

“Oh I think we’ve got this,” JJ states confidently. “Let’s get this show on the road,” she commands, herding Emily, Rossi, and Reid out the door.

When the group arrived back at the Hotchner house several hours later, the nursery walls were covered in a soft shade of lavender; as were Morgan and Garcia.

“I don’t know how you two managed to get any paint on the walls,” JJ said with a grin.

“Smile for the camera, you two,” Emily cuts in, snapping a picture on her phone as the couple hug and smile in their paint splattered clothes.

——————————————————————————

The next day conversation flowed as team was busily assembling furniture. Rossi, Reid, and Morgan worked on the crib while Penny, Emily, and JJ tackled the changing table.

“Let me know if you ladies need any help,” Morgan mentions casually.

“Oh right,” Emily grumbles, “because OBVIOUSLY the women need a big, strong man’s help, right?”

“I didn’t say that,” Derek counters. “I was just offering.”

“Oh not only will we get ours done without your help, we’ll get it done faster,” Emily challenges.

“Oh yeah?”

“YEAH!” all three women reply in unison.

“You’re on,” Morgan accepts.

“Oh you’re so going down,” Penny taunts, throwing pieces of plastic wrapping at Derek.

“Losers buy sushi for lunch?” Rossi suggests.

“Oh that could be pretty expensive for you Dave,” JJ comments. “You sure you’re up for that?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Rossi says, rolling his eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

Two hours later, as JJ and Emily were finishing up the crib, the men came dragging in, arms full of takeout bags.

“Say cheese!” Penelope squeals as she takes their picture. “For the bragging rights.”

——————————————————————————

The next days were spent putting the finishing touches on the room.

A purple gradient butterfly mobile above the crib from JJ.

A bookshelf with a fully stocked library, specially selected by Reid. Emily places her floral covered photo album on top.

Lavender curtains with a shimmery overlay, Penelope’s contribution.

Derek’s stuffed bunny, carefully laid in a white gliding chair with purple cushions, which was generously paid for by Dave.

Derek lays a soft shag rug over the hardwood floor and drapes a plush floral blanket over the edge of the crib.

“I think that about does it, guys,” he says with a look of pride.

“You know, I bought them that photo album,” Emily comments, “it would be a shame if we didn’t put a few in there as a gift.”

“Yeah, but how do we get a picture of the whole group?” JJ wonders out loud.

“We could set a timer,” Penelope suggests.

“Yeah, but who sets the timer?” Reid asks, as he turns to see the whole group looking at him.

“Seriously guys?”

Between the camera falling over, closed eyes, and Spence not making it back before the timer, it took a few tries before there was a good group shot.

“And now a funny one,” Penny insists.

Once the photos, including the bloopers, have been printed and arranged in the album, JJ makes sure to write descriptions for each in the margins before setting it back on the shelf.

“Good job team,” Derek announces. “Our work here is done.”

——————————————————————————

After all the chaos surrounding the birth and a full week in the hospital, nothing felt better than standing at the door of your house with the love of your life and your two beautiful children.

“You ready to finally get some rest, baby?” Aaron asks as he ushers you inside the house, one solid arm arm around the small of your back and Savannah in her carrier on the other.

“Yeah,” you sigh, dropping your purse on the coffee table and slipping off your shoes. “I just wish we didn’t still have to worry about the nursery,” you groan, plopping down onto the sofa.

“About that,” Aaron says with a mischievous grin, offering you his free hand.

“What are you up to, Aaron Hotchner?” You muse as he leads you down the hallway.

“Just trust me,” he assures, coming to a halt in front of the nursery door. “Close your eyes,” he requests.

“What is going on here?” you inquire again.

“Just close your eyes please, darling,” he asks. “For me.”

“Alright, alright,” you comply, “this better be good.”

“Don’t open them until I say so, okay?”

“Yes sir.”

With eyes closed and Jack close by your side, you hear the door open and the rustling of paper inside the room.

“Alright,” he whispers, sliding his arm around your shoulders. “Open your eyes.”

—————————————————————————

Taglist: @ange-must-die @agent-laufeyson @poetsacademia @hotchners-slut @arganfics @ladyreapermc @rousethemouse @less-intelligent-spencerreid @tgibstan @themanip @word-scribbless @quillvine @glizzieborden @miss-united-ace @samayoshito @hotchnerundercover @pedropascalian @thenewnormalforensicator @crowdedimagines @sagittarianwolf @kleff03

#aaron hotchner imagine #1 800 aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #thomas gibson imagine #thomas gibson x reader #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner #hotch

236 notes · View notes

userholland · 4 years

Text

all for her [2]

pairing: dad!bartender!tom x female!reader

warnings: excessive drinking, cursing, mentions of blood, violence, etc.

summary: a single-dad bartender, a supportive best friend and their continuous, unrequited love noticed by his optimistic daughter. is it possible to break a heart they never knew they had?

word count: 10.8k!

the soundtrack: dancing with your ghost - sasha sloan, chinese satellite - phoebe bridgers, never the 1 - rosie, waiting room - phoebe bridgers, guilty conscience - 070 shake

a/n: im so happy with the response from part 1 & excited that part 2 is now here!!! i think i’ll try to end with the next part but..... who knows. again, thank y’all for the feedback & hope you enjoy!

— masterlist ☆彡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The night Summer was left on Tom’s doorstep was one he would never forget.

He moved into his apartment a month before and it was becoming more than the four, blank walls. It was in a quiet neighborhood, facing out to a street view of family-owned businesses and a bus stop. People passed the street often during the day, a good opportunity for people-watching from his small terrace. But when he closed the windows and locked the door, the feeling of being alone quickly settled in for the first time in his life.

The thought of being independent was reliving now that he had a part-time job. He'd be able to live off his earnings with no guilt and bring whoever he wanted without disturbing his roommates. Even though he had his own place of solitude and privacy, Tom still managed to visit you at campus now that he was closer compared to the hours of driving before. He considered it as a pro to moving, but he really just needed any reason to just have you close.

Most times you’d come over, saying you had homework and studying to do, but with Tom, you never got anything done in one sitting. You made dinners together or ordered something in the middle of the night, watch movies interrupted by your playful comments or you would take a nap between your classes while he did his work.

The two of you were inseparable now throughout college, not stuck with the limited possibilities of what your small hometown gave to you. Everything was going smoothly and Tom was looking forward to what his future looked like, maybe even see you ending up together, but things took a turn when he opened the door and saw Summer, small and swaddled, in the baby carrier at his feet.

It was a Sunday, having your ideal night-in watching your favorite movie, and ordering food for dinner. Your head rested on Tom’s lap, your eyes trying to focus on the TV but they fluttered. Tom had his arm around the back of the couch with his right foot on the coffee table. Sometimes he’d glance down at you, making sure you didn’t fall asleep because you had more studying to do, but he gently shook you every few minutes when he thought he heard your light snores.

“Hmm, I’m awake.” You grumbled.

“Judging from your snoring, I don’t think you are.” He smiled, moving your hair out of your face.

Your face scrunched together, “I don’t snore.”

“You don’t? Not like this?” He jeered, making an obnoxious noise as he leaned his head back.

You pressed your face against his cheek, tilting his head to the side and lightly gripping at his hair. Laughs and giggles echoed the apartment as you fought like kids, Tom’s hand holding your wrist to push it away from his face until the doorbell rang.

“Finally! I’m starving.” You said, thinking the Chinese food was here.

You jumped up from the couch, walking into the kitchen to get plates. Tom chuckled as he headed toward the door, “Are you excited? I couldn’t tell.” He said sarcastically, grabbing the tip money off the kitchen counter.

The baby was asleep, her chubby cheeks were a rosy pink as well as her lips. She looked peaceful bundled in a soft, yellow blanket, but fear instilled within Tom. He wasn’t sure what to do, his mind starting to race and his heart beating faster. He took a few steps into the hall and looked both ways. It was ominous how no one was around, yet there was someone at the door a few seconds ago.

“Hello?” He shouted, his hands against each side of the doorframe.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What’s going on?” You nervously chuckled.

The moment your eyes met the baby at Tom’s feet, your mouth slightly gapped with a trailed gasp.

“This has to be a joke…” Tom trailed.

You kneeled, reaching for the note tucked in by her leg. It was on a torn piece of notebook paper with Tom’s name scribbled on the front in pencil.

“I can’t take care of her. Please understand. Maggie.” You read off, biting your bottom lip.

He continued to stare at Summer, her hair barely grown and her skin so pink. He assumed she had been born a few weeks ago, maybe months. All he could process was that there was a baby on his doorstep and he had no idea what to do.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

It took a few minutes to get Maggie calm, but they went in the hall to talk so Summer didn’t wake up. It was none of your business, but you still stood close to the door with your back against the wall as their muffled conversation faded in and out.

“How did you even find me?” Tom asked.

“None of your business.” She snapped, “I don’t know why this is such a big deal.” Maggie chimed, crossing her arms.

Tom scoffed, “Because you’ve never made any effort to see her and suddenly, you want to come and pick her up and take her like she’s a puppy in an ad you found this morning.”

She smiled in spite, “Don’t talk to me like that-”

“How else am I supposed to act? You just told me she’s not mine!”

“Because she’s not! I had to dump her on someone!”

Every word that came out of Maggie’s mouth felt like a repeating stab in the heart. He couldn’t believe anything she said, convinced he hated her at that moment, but he somehow held his head high because he knew he’d fight for Summer no matter what Maggie could tell him.

“You’re not taking her. End of discussion.” Tom uttered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Maggie reached into the back pocket of her denim jeans, pulling out a folded piece of paper, and forcefully handed it to Tom. He stared at it for a few seconds, his hand lightly shaking as he slowly opened it by the ends.

“You still think I’m lying?” She scoffed as they both glared at the paper.

It was Summer’s birth certificate, dated on this day six years ago which made time seem so fast. His dry, tired eyes searched the paper until they locked to the father’s name box, a name he didn’t know and certainly wasn’t his.

“Either I call the police now or you give her… right here, right now,” Maggie growled with no hesitation.

Tom clenched his jaw, “You can’t-”

“I sure as hell can… and we both know you’re not dumb so, just give her to me.” She demanded as if Tom could process all of this while his world was crashing around him.

Tom licked his lips, sealing them to hide the pain that ached in his heart and spread throughout every nerve of his body. A single tear fell down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it with the back of his hand. Tom wanted to composed himself to stay strong, but he didn’t know he could crumble so easily from a small number of words.

“Can we do this tomorrow? I just wanna spend one more day with her.” He asked politely, the whites of his eyes now a light pink.

She stood there, not saying anything and her arms were still crossed.

“Please… Maggie.” Tom pleaded, feeling a bit pathetic.

Tom thought back to that conversation, replaying it in his head so much that he didn’t sleep all night. His constant shifting throughout the night didn’t let either of you get much sleep, but it’s not like you were either, laying there and wondering how much you could do.

You were surprised he didn’t cry, shout or lash out in some random outburst of pure anger. It’s what you would’ve done, but you knew that Tom was trying to convince himself it wasn’t real. The denial would eat him alive, only because he believed Maggie was telling the truth and would take Summer no matter how hard he thought of a way to not let her.

“Tom?... Tom!” Your voice seemed miles away.

Tom glanced up to meet your eyes, letting out an embarrassed chuckle as his ears tinted pink. The sounds within the diner became audible to him, not remembering how he got lost in a daze.

“In your own little world again?” You grinned, knowing that he was always one for thinking too much.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” Tom rubbed his hands down his face and straightened his back against the booth.

You sealed your lips, “You can talk to me about-”

“I’m fine, Y/N.” He retorted, nodding his head at you.

“Okay…” You trailed.

When his whole world was turned around the night before, you choose to not take his short attitude personally. All you could do was be there for him and you wanted to try your best. Seeing his hand rested on the table, you placed yours on top and reassured him, “It’s gonna be okay.”

He didn’t look at you, but you laid your head on against his shoulder. You caressed your thumb over his skin before grasping his hand and giving it a light squeeze. You brushed your cheek against his black hoodie, smelling the fresh lavender and nuzzling against his arm to remind him that you weren’t planning on leaving or letting him go.

Summer ran down the empty aisle, jumping into the booth and she laughed to herself, “I got this!”

You leaned up from Tom so he could see what she had in her small hand. Her casted arm rested on the table, signatures written all over it from her birthday party.

“It’s for you.” Summer smiled, putting the object in Tom’s hand.

He glanced at it, seeing a small plastic container with a yellow top sealing it. Inside was a cheap ring with the metallic paint partially chipped off and there was a blunt blue jewel in the middle.

“You sure you want to give it to me? It’s so pretty.” Tom managed to smile back at her, observing the ring.

“Yeah, Daddy. I promise.” She grinned, her tongue between her teeth as she flashed another smile that he thought resembled his.

Tom didn't want to believe that someone so full of spite and bitterness could be her mother, but he didn't have the heart to tell her. No matter how much he could hate Maggie for what she’s doing, Tom couldn’t ruin their possible relationship because she was her mother.

After the three of you finished your late breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, you got up to use the restroom, but also gave time for Tom to say his last goodbyes to Summer alone. You rubbed Tom’s shoulder before you slipped out of the booth, keeping your eyes on him until you turned the corner.

Tom grinned at her, but he still wasn’t sure how to tell Summer about Maggie other than she was spending the night with her for a while, thinking she would take to it but instead a confused look painted on her round face.

“I thought Y/N was my mommy.” She admitted even though he had denied her multiple times that you were.

He couldn’t hide his smile, “I’ve told you she’s not. She’s my friend. My best friend.”

“Daddy, I don’t want to go. I wanna stay with you and Y/N.” Summer persisted, placing her blue crayon down. She always got a wrinkle between her eyebrows when they furrowed.

“It’ll be a few days,” Tom assured, but he didn’t know.

“But, I don’t wanna.” She whined, bouncing a bit in her seat.

As much as he wanted to, Tom couldn’t say no. He knew this was going to happen before he could know anything else was going behind his back with Maggie. Summer pouted her lips as her mood changed, leaning back with her hair pushed up against the booth.

Tom shifted over, “Come here.” He asked her, patting where you were sitting earlier.

Summer wiggled out of her side of the booth, touching her feet to the ground before quickly lifting herself into the seat and curling up next to Tom. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her hair, feeling an instant warmth even though she was so tiny. It was as if he blinked and was surprised to see her growing so fast. His sweet daughter went from a toddler with bright blue paint on her hands and knees and blossoming into a young girl with ideas that could reach the moon and back.

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna have so much fun. I promise.” He sniffled, his voice cracking a bit.

“Pinky promise?” She asked, lifting her casted arm to him.

His lip quivered, but Tom quickly smiled, “Promise… and we always keep our promises, right?”

She nodded, wrapping her tiny pinky around his then squeezing it tight, “Always, daddy.”

Tom remembered when she was only able to wrap her whole hand around that same finger, wondering where the time went. He wanted to go back to when she barely had hair on her head or when he had to follow her around the room when she started to crawl, as she grabbed at stray cords or tried to get under the couch.

“You have all your stuff?” Tom asked her.

“Mhmm, got my colors and favorite books.” Summer nodded, grabbing a piece of bacon off Tom’s place, “Do you think she’ll read them in the voices? Like you and Y/N do?”

Tom sealed his lips, “Maybe if you ask her nicely.” He cracked a smile, moving Summer’s hair out of her face.

As you walked up to the booth, Tom lifted his head and mouthed to you that he was okay. In the bathroom, you had to compose yourself before Maggie showed up. No excuse could make this situation better and all you could do was be patient and be there for Tom. While that was easier to think of, you knew as soon as you made contact with her bright green eyes, all you wanted to do was yell and protest that she doesn’t deserve to feel good about this.

“What did I miss? Anything interesting?” You joked, trying to keep the mood light.

“Daddy said I’m gonna have a lot of fun this weekend.” Summer mentioned, smiling at you with her crooked smile.

You gulped, your throat feeling dry, “Yeah, lots of fun.” You forced a grin.

The low music over the speakers filled the silence, not knowing what to say about this, especially in front of Summer. Tom kept his arm wrapped around his shoulder, but he stared out of the window with his hand on his chin, slightly covering his mouth. He didn’t want to cry, he was trying, but the more Tom thought about how there was a chance he couldn’t get Summer back, the more he dug deep to find a way to stop it.

“Hi, Tom.”

He quickly turned his head, seeing Maggie standing in front of the booth. She wore a sleek leather jacket with a maroon shirt underneath and it intimidated Summer. She furrowed her faint eyebrows, but Tom pulled back his arm around her.

“Hey, Maggie.” He didn’t look in her eyes.

She didn’t pay you any mind, choosing to ignore that you were sitting right there, but it’s not like you wanted her to give you any attention.

Summer scooted out of the booth along with Tom, both of them standing across from Maggie. There’s no doubting it was an awkward situation, but nevertheless, Tom continued to stay mature about it. He grabbed Summer’s backpack off the ground, helping her put both her arms through the straps.

“Okay, kid. I’ll see you in a few days.” Tom chuckled with his hands on Summer’s shoulders.

“Promise?” She asked, her big eyes so glossy.

He immediately clenched his jaw, knowing lying to her would hurt like a stab to his heart, but maybe it was for the better right now. There were many ways he could reply that didn’t sound like the lie it was yet he couldn’t come up with anything except, “Promise.” because he knew he would try to keep it as much as he could from where he stood.

Summer wrapped her arms around his legs as tight as she could, “I love you, daddy.” She mumbled.

“I love you too. Always.” He said before kissing the top of her head.

She looked over her shoulder at you sitting in the booth, not forgetting to say goodbye to you too. Summer walked up and got on her knees in the booth, feeling them sink into the cushion. Her small arms wrapped around you and you giggled, giving her a tight squeeze back.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Summer.” You grinned, giving her a last glance.

She shimmed once more and stood in front of Maggie, still standing there with her arms crossed and one of her eyebrows arched.

“Let’s get going,” Maggie said, her happy tone sounding forced.

Without caring to hold Summer’s hand, Maggie began to walk away, but Summer stood still. Her little heart was racing, not sure what to do even though she was told to go with this strange woman who was supposedly her mom.

Tom glanced at Summer, his lips going to the side as he watched tears well up in her eyes. She sniffled, looking down at her feet and her body felt frozen. It was a new feeling to her, not knowing why she was suddenly so scared. It reminded Tom of her first day of kindergarten. She hid behind his leg while they stood in the hallway and all the kids slowly filled the room. He tried to nudge her to meet a new friend, maybe talk about her hobbies, but she was gripping on his jeans from how scared she was.

Just like he did on her first day of school, Tom kneeled on one knee in front of her. He angled his head to look into her eyes, trying to see her full face. He tilted her chin up and wiped her tears with his thumb, catching them as they ran down more.

“Hey, you remember when we saw the penguins at the zoo?” He grinned.

She nodded, her lip pouted.

“And you remember what the zookeeper said? That penguins always find each other, no matter where they are or how far they are... they’ll always find their way back to the colony… and just like penguins, we always find our way home too.” Tom explained, fixing the end of her jacket.

“Really, daddy?”

“Of course. You’re gonna have to keep your head up for a few days though.” He gulped, a small smirk on his lips.

Summer leaned in, wrapping her arms around Tom’s neck again and he coiled her arm around her, squeezing her arm tight. He left a quick kiss on her temple and Tom slowly stood up, trying to pull himself away so it didn’t become harder to leave her.

Maggie stood a few feet away, a bit of disappointment in her eyes. She thought this was going to be the easy part of this process, but it proved harder now that she could visibly see the bond Summer and Tom had created. You watched her lips pin together, not knowing what to do but stand there until they were done talking.

“I love you.” Summer said to Tom again.

“Love you more, kid.” He chuckled, his voice breaking from holding back his tears, “Remember to keep your cast dry. Okay?”

She slipped away from his arms and Tom’s heartfelt heavier the more he said his goodbyes. Summer held her head high and walked up to Maggie, lifting her hand up for her to hold. Maggie hesitantly reached for it, but she glanced at Tom for some kind of permission to. Tom sealed his lips and you slid out of the booth, standing behind him as you watched the two of them walk outside the diner.

“She’ll be back soon.” You whispered, rubbing his tense shoulder.

“Yeah…” He trailed, forcing a grin for you. Tom knew he didn’t have to fake his emotions for you, but right now, he didn’t want to admit he was torn apart inside.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The days didn’t pass by as quickly as Tom hoped. He didn’t realize how fast work was when he had Summer to come home to. It was hard for him to get out of bed, make meals for himself or concentrate on anything he was doing. Luckily, you were there for him or, at least, tried to be. You weren’t sure what would happen to your friendship after your sudden kiss, but you felt like it was inappropriate to bring up with what happened after it. Even though the status of your possible relationship was unknown and your feelings were still strong, you were there for Tom no matter what.

In the morning, you stirred in the sheets and felt the soft fabric of the pillow against your cheek. As you reached your arm over on Tom’s side of the bed, your hand brushed over the cotton linens which made you slowly open your eyes. The duvet was folded over and his pillow was propped up, showing you he had been up for a while before he got up. You let out a long yawn, stretching your arms and legs and feeling the cold air against your skin.

You walked around the bed, grabbing the blanket at the end of it and wrapping it over your shoulders before leaving the bedroom. When you got to the end of the hallway, you saw Tom sitting on the couch with a box in his lap and a few pictures scattered on the cushion. Your lips went to the side as you approached him, trying to be quiet but the sound of the floor creaking made Tom look over his shoulder.

“Morning.” You grinned, standing behind the couch.

You ran your hands over his hair, playing with it before you looked at the pictures. They were of Summer since she was a baby, most of them were birthday pictures or other special events, like when she lost her first tooth or the first time she stood up. Tom cherished the memories, hoping they would make him happy, but all they did was remind him how he felt like a failure.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” Tom asked, his voice groggy and deep.

“Fine, and you?” You replied as you trailed your hand from his hair, walking over to the kitchen.

“Good.” He lied, running his thumb against his left eye before grabbing another picture.

It was Summer’s first Halloween and he dressed her up in the homemade lion costume you worked so hard on. He half-smiled thinking about when you drew in a nose with black paint and she scrunched her face, the bristles of the brush tickling before Summer sneezed. Before you could warn her, she wiped her nose with her hand and you and Tom couldn’t help but laugh. With Halloween just around the corner, his smile fell wondering if they would have another one together.

“Here you go. Dark and two sugars.” You softly said, handing him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it.

“Thank you.” He weakly smiled, taking a short sip.

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

Tom placed his cup of coffee on the table and collected the pictures so you could sit beside him.

“Better. I got a little more sleep.” He muttered and set the box of pictures on the floor.

You pulled off the fuzzy blanket on the arm of the couch before you sat down, laying it over your and Tom’s lap. Your crisscrossed your legs, holding your mug in your lap while Tom put his free arm around your shoulders. When you turned your head to Tom, he didn’t have the same natural glow to him.

He was struggling to find some kind of closure, but the lack of communication with Maggie made it hard for him to not overthink. There were no calls and rarely a text. Tom was going crazy, replaying the last moments with Summer in his head.

“Maybe you can skip work today.” You suggested, rubbing the top of his leg.

Tom nodded, “I can’t. I need the tips. Hopefully, I can get Halloween night. I’ll be able to cover child support for the month.” He rubbed the back of his neck, closing his eyes as he tilted his head toward the ceiling.

Your lips went to the side, “Did Maggie say when you’d see Summer?”

He sighed, “No. I haven’t heard anything either.”

“That can’t be legal.”

“Summer’s not mine, Y/N. I don’t get to see her when I want.” Tom retorted as if he was defending her.

“You know that’s not true. It doesn’t matter if she’s your blood, you gave her the best life. Who knows? Maggie probably just forged it. People do it all the time. Why would she just come back when you slept together one time?” You acknowledged, not trusting her for a second.

“I don’t want to get into it.” He replied, taking another sip of coffee.

“Then when are you? Because I know you love that kid more than anything else in the world.” You protested, still facing him.

Tom finally looked your way, meeting your eyes, but he didn’t want to say anything. You didn’t expect a response because you knew that he did love her and he was going to find a way to get her back, no matter how long it took. You tilted your head at him, cracking a smile and tilting his chin up. The warmth that came from your comfort helped him see the brighter side in this, motivating him to see that this wouldn’t last forever.

“You know you’re the best, right?” Tom grinned.

You reached your hand up, intertwining yours with his that was hanging off your shoulder, “I try.” You joked, both of you sharing a light laugh.

You ran your fingers through Tom’s hair, trying to fix it, but he was growing it long as he did in high school. Tom let out a low chuckle, feeling your hand trail to cup his cheek and you rubbed your thumb over his cheek and the faint freckles painted across his soft skin.

While the past few days had been confusing, Tom knew that he wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to stir you in his drama. As much as you had been there for the past six years, he realized that Summer was his responsibility, and to bring you into a triangle with him and Maggie didn’t seem fair. It’s not because he wanted to push you away for his selfish reasons, but because he wanted to protect you from whatever was going to happen from this point. You were still best friends and would always be, but it didn’t feel like enough after finally kissing each other and not wanting to let go.

As you pulled your hand back, you glanced down and see some of the pictures in the box. You quickly lean down, placing it on your lap and you picked through the various photos before there was one that brought back memories.

“I can’t believe you have this.” You chuckled, holding the photo close to your face.

Tom turned his head toward it, not knowing he had his eyes glued to you, and he instantly smiled.

“Ah, when I was your knight in shining armor.” He beamed at the picture of you with your broken arm and he stood next to you wearing his favorite baseball jersey.

“You mean when you carried my books for me and helped me put on my backpack, oh yeah, I remember.” You grinned, reminiscing to when the world wasn’t so complicated.

Tom smiled, “Don’t act like you didn’t love it.” He rubbed your shoulder, both of you chuckling at the memory. You handed him the picture, but he slowly was reminded of Summer and her recent accident.

“Shit..” He trailed, “I hope she’s kept her cast dry. I should call.” Tom said, unwrapping his arm from your shoulders and you watched him frantically looking for his phone around the apartment.

“Tom!”

“Huh?” He asked, lifting some papers on his counter.

You lifted his phone, his screen cracked, in your hand and grinned, “Looking for something?”

A relieved smile painted on his face as he walked over, taking the phone and he kissed a light kiss against the top of your head, “What would I do without you?”

It was nice to see him turning back to his old self, but you knew that his happiness was at the risk of being at Maggie’s beck and call. Even though you weren’t Summer’s mom, you wanted to have a say where she ends up too.

You half-smiled, watching him walk down the hall to his bedroom. You turned toward the box of pictures, rummaging through enough to get an idea of how to organize them.

Tom slowly paced across his room as the phone rang, sweat on his palms that he brushed on the back of his jeans. He leaned his head toward the ceiling and tried not to overthink what he could say if he went straight to voicemail.

“Hello?” Maggie retorted, running her fingers through the crown of her hair.

“Hey. I just wanted to make sure things were okay.” Tom trailed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“Fine, it’s fine.” She lied, searching through her laundry basket.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, things are fine! I’m just trying to find this stupid sweater.” She grunted, pushing through all the folded clothes.

“What sweater?”

“Some yellow sweater with a heart on that she won’t stop complaining about.”

Summer was sitting on the couch, insisting she wanted to watch her favorite cartoons after breakfast. Maggie didn’t want to deal with the complaining and poking so it was relieving to keep her distracted instead of having to keep Summer entertained while she tried to work from home.

“Oh, I forgot to put it in there. Shit.” Tom cursed, quickly getting up.

He walked to Summer’s room, knowing the exact drawer he remembered placing it in and not surprised that it was there. Tom lifted the sweater, the sleeves unfolding, and seeing how worn it was from the ripped tag. He brought it up to his face, inhaling the lingering smell of watermelon and kiwi from her shampoo.

“Yeah, I got it. It’s here.” He told her, the phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll come over and get it.” Maggie huffed.

“No, no! I can go over there. I have to go to work later so I can come by.” Tom offered, glaring at the small sweater in his hand.

“Depends, are you going to bring… Y/N?” She crossed her arms as she leaned against the washing machine, “Because I don’t think she’s been a good influence.”

Tom’s eyebrows arched, “Excuse me?”

“Summer says “Y/N lets me do this or Y/N and I do this” and I don’t think it’s good considering she’s not her mom. She shouldn’t have such big control over her.” Maggie said loud enough for Summer to hear from the couch.

“You weren’t there for her and she was so, I’m sorry if she acts like her mom more than you.” Tom chimed.

Maggie clenched her jaw, “Just drop it off. Okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be over around three.”

She hung up abruptly and Tom was left upset from not being able to talk to Summer. He hated how he didn’t have any sense of control, to think that this could be the way things are until she goes off to college. Out of anger, Tom threw his phone across the room that made a loud thud against the wall. His blood boiled and tears filled his eyes, bringing the sweater back to his face and trying to let the lingering scent keep him calm.

You stood in the hall across from the door and it was close enough to hear the whole conversation. Every word made your heart drop, not knowing what you could do for him. You hated eavesdropping, but it was getting harder to get the truth from Tom as the days went by. He was falling apart and it was getting too painful to slowly watch.

“Tom?” You softly asked, knocking on the door.

He left the sweater on the bed, wiping his eyes with the end of his t-shirt before grabbing his phone off the floor. To his relief, the already cracked screen didn’t have any new damage. Tom wiped the screen against his pants before opening the door to meet your gaze.

“Sorry about that. I just got frustrated.” He avoided looking in your eyes.

“It’s okay.” You tell him, not needing any assurance. All you did was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it would all be okay, even if you didn’t really know if it would be.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The half-hour drive to Maggie’s apartment felt like hours to Tom, his head filled with what he was going to say to her or how he was going to handle whatever she told him. He bit on his nails on his left hand while the other gripped the top of the steering wheel tight. Right when he thought of the things he could say, his anxiety made him forget all of the rational thoughts.

As he parked in a parallel spot, Tom got out of the car with the sweater in one hand with a duffle in the other. He carefully crossed the street and entered the complex, walking up the stairs to the fourth level. When he entered through the exit door, he saw the floors were polished and the lighting was bright since there were no windows. It all came off as luxurious and bare, nothing but one or two paintings on the wall.

He knocked a few times under the plastic golden numbers, his eyes searching around until he heard the locks click. The door flew open and Maggie popped her head out, her makeup a few shades darker than last time.

“Hey,” Tom mumbled.

“Hey… you brought it?” She asked quickly, opening the door more.

Tom couldn’t help looking past her, seeing if Summer was in there.

“Yeah. Here.” Tom huffed, handing her the sweater, “And I brought some other stuff she might want.” He gave her the duffle too, weighing down in her hand when he passed it.

“Jesus, what’s in this? She’s not going off to college.”

“A few books, shirts, socks, a few Mad Libs.” He said what was off the top of his head, shoving his hands in his front pockets.

“Well thanks, it should keep her busy.” Maggie quickly grinned, but before she could shut the door, Tom took a step forward.

“Can I see her? Just for a few minutes before I go to work.” Tom asked, even though he didn’t feel the need to.

She sighed, “I really have to go, Tom.”

Before Tom could say another word, Summer shouted from behind Maggie, “Daddy!”

Summer pushed past Maggie, holding out her arms and Tom immediately wrapped his around her. He spun her around with her feet off the ground. He could cry as he held her tighter, kissing the top of her hair and she giggled, “I missed you!”

He put her back on her feet, “I missed you too, kid. How’s the cast?” Tom smiled.

She lifted it up, “Good, I got more names on it.”

“Oh, yeah? Aren’t you miss popular.” Tom chuckled, watching her rotate the cast.

“Are we going home?” Summer quickly asked.

Tom sealed his lips, “Ah, not… yet.”

Summer’s face shifted, “But, I wanna go home.”

“Not yet, baby.” Tom knew it wasn’t in his control right now.

“But, I wanna go home now…” She protested, a dimple between her furrowed eyebrows.

It was the first time he heard true sorrow in her light voice. A kid always had their emotional fits, but Tom taught her that it was okay to talk to her and didn’t have to hold anything back. There was never a moment of questioning her temper tantrums or how she behaved, but he couldn’t wrap his head around this whole incident. He didn’t know how to answer her questions and help her and it was killing him to feel like he was doing nothing yet also trying to do everything he could.

“Summer, I promise you’ll be home soon, okay?” He promised, running his hand over her soft hair.

“Okay.” She pouted.

Quickly turning away, Summer fled back into the apartment and didn’t give Tom another look. He chewed the inside of his cheek and Maggie put her hand on your hip, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, thanks.” She huffed.

“When can I see her again?” Tom asked, embarrassed from how desperate he came off.

She nodded, “I don’t know...”

Tom clenched his jaw, “I raised her, I don’t understand how you can come back and just take her away like you suddenly want to be a great mother. Do you want something else from me other than child support? Huh? What is it, Maggie?” He asked, frustrated and tired of biting his tongue.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at Summer, meeting her blatant glare, so Maggie stepped into the hall to have some privacy. Tom took a few steps away from her, putting his back against the wall while she stood on her side.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Tom. I really don’t-”

“Then why are you doing this?” He cut her off.

She nodded, “I’m uncomfortable with it all.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not Summer’s dad!” Maggie stated, “Okay? Do you know how confusing that is gonna be to her? That the guy who has raised her for six years isn’t even her dad!”

Tom was in disbelief, his throat dry and thinking as if he got the wind out of him.

“I want to take a DNA test.”

Maggie couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re not her dad.”

“I don’t care, I’m taking a test. If I’m the father, she gets to stay with me.”

“Well, she’s not so, good luck with that plan.” She boldly told Tom, watching him walk away from the conversation.

Adrenaline fueled him, leaving the building with the last dignity he felt like he had. The doubt rapidly sunk in from Maggie’s words and for the first time, Tom started to believe that she was right. He may have wasted six years of his life, not knowing how he could have fallen for it all.

After slamming the car door, Tom huffed and wiped his hands down his face. He was annoyed at the stress he held back, thinking he had his emotions under control when everything was falling apart. A million voices spoke throughout his conscience all at once and tried to guide him, too overwhelming to maintain his cool he had kept for so long. Tom clenched his fist and quickly jabbed the steering wheel, pain coursing from his blistered knuckles.

The night shift was a wreck and Tom couldn’t gain his confidence back. He messed up drink orders that infuriated his tipsy customers, dropped a glass from how shaky his hands were, and overall couldn’t clear his mind from his argument earlier with Maggie. Nevertheless, Tom pushed through the sloppy job he did but had to flee to the back to get some air from the inebriated crowd.

With a bottle of beer in one hand, he slipped away when one of his co-workers came in. Tom exited to the back alley, the cold breeze hitting his face and the wind slapping his back when the door closed behind him. As he brought the bottle to his lips, Tom took breaths through his nose as he downed the bitter ale. His eyes burned from the icy carbonation, pulling it away after drinking most of it. He tossed the glass bottle into the dumpster across from him, running his hands through his hair as he paced around the dead end.

“Shit!” He growled, his voice echoing.

A few tears trailed down his cheek and he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. Tom got himself together, but before he went back inside to end his shift, his phone vibrated in his front pocket. He was relieved to see your name headlining a picture of the two of you.

“Hey, babe.” Tom sniffled.

You were taken back by the pet name, “Babe?”

He smiled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m tired.” He pinched his nose bridge.

“No, no, I wasn’t sure if we were using “babe” or any other grossly cute nicknames.” You jeered, your sweet giggle comforting him.

“It’s just been a weird day.” He pressed his back against the brick wall.

“Things didn’t go well with Maggie?” You sighed, laying down on the couch.

Tom nodded, “Not exactly. But, I’m trying to figure it out.”

Your lips went to the side, not surprised Tom said it because he always liked to tackle everything by himself. There was no need to meddle, but you knew he would come around when he wanted to.

“Hey, I know it’s hard now, but… You’re gonna get her back.” You started, hoping it sounded comforting.

Tom remembered when you said he’d never lose her. He already doubted himself, but he didn’t want to have a lack of uncertainty with you, a person he trusted more than anyone.

“Tom?” You asked, only hearing the noises of passing cars in the background.

“Yeah, babe, I’m here.” Tom shook his head, running his hand down his face.

His voice cracked from the brokenness, causing your heart to flutter. You wanted to fix this all, and you would if you could, but it was equally as frustrating for you to keep your calm. You knew that if you exploded with rage and anger, Tom would follow the same path of destruction and it’s the last thing you both needed to do.

“Okay… are you coming back soon?”

“Yeah, I’m almost off my shift. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Drive safe, please.” You tilted your head, pulling your legs to your chest.

“Always.” He smiled before hanging up.

Tom went back inside to finish his shift, hoping to get a few tips from his charm. He snuck a few shots of Crown and gin in between his orders, looking around to make sure none of his co-workers saw. It was out of his character to drink on the job knowing it could get him fired on the spot, but Tom didn’t care. He wanted the pain inside to numb away with warm liquor until he was sick.

Making the poor decision of driving home, Tom took his time to get back. He rubbed his eyes a few times from the haze fogging his vision, but he slowly pulled into his usual parking spot. At first, he forgot to put on the parking gear, the car rolling forward before he stepped on the brake. A drunk chuckle left his lips as he parked, pulling the keys out and he leaned on the car to maintain his balance.

You fell asleep on the couch waiting for him only to flinch from the door slamming. As you put your weight on your arms, Tom walked in with a sway to his walk.

“Hey, I was starting to worry.” You groaned, stretching as you stood up from the couch.

“Sorry, I was… trying to get home and there was… it was fine.” He slurred, a faint smile on his face.

You furrowed your eyebrows, walking up to him and instantly smelling the alcohol on his breath.

“You drove home drunk?”

“I’m here in one piece, aren’t I?” He breezed past you, kicking his shoes off by the kitchen island then heading to the bedroom.

“You could have gotten killed.” You hissed.

You crossed your arms as you followed him, standing in the door frame. Tom struggled to unbutton his shirt, not able to grip them with his hazy vision.

“I’m here, okay? I’m fine and I just need to sleep.” Tom groaned, the alcohol fueling his irritation.

You didn’t want to pick a fight, not this late and not with everything else going on, so you digressed and decided to leave it till the morning.

As he lazily pulled apart his button-up, he threw it to the side and left him in his basic white tee. You walked around to the shared bathroom and cupped some lukewarm water in your hands to splash on your face. You could hear Tom unbuckle his pants and he threw them to the floor, missing the hamper by a long shot.

You walked to your side of the bed, glancing at him laying down with his bloodshot eyes still open.

“Tom, you can’t do this.”

“I know. I know, but this… I fucking can’t think about anything else.” He admitted.

You sat up on the bed with your head against your pillow, pulling the duvet over your legs. You ran your hand over his messy, brown curls, weaving your fingers through it and pushing it back. His eyes met yours as you continued to play with his hair.

“From how long we’ve been friends, I know you have always put the weight of the world on your shoulders.” You spoke calmly, your tone soft and sweet like honey, “But, you can’t keep doing this to yourself...”

He gulped, not knowing how to let go of this anger he internalized.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” His voice was broken.

“You need to take your time, baby.” You whispered, running your hand through his hair again.

Tom gently held your hand that was resting on your stomach, brought it to his face, and kissed the top of it a few times. You grinned, watching him bring your intertwined hands to his chest. He kept his eye contact with you, his free hand tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I don’t know how I’d stay sane without you.” He revealed, his eyes glossy.

You half-smiled, “You’d function, just not as properly.” You jeered, trying to make him laugh.

“Oh, always with the jokes.” Tom chuckled, tickling up your side and you began to kick around, letting out infectious belly laughs.

“I can’t help it! You’re fun to mess with.” You beamed.

You shifted down to be face to face with him, lying next to him and forgetting about the world for a few minutes. Tom was never big on affection with who we dated, struggling to open himself up with people he felt were temporary. Little did you know that he was wrapped around your finger since the day you fell off the jungle gym.

“I just want you to be happy.” You sighed.

He nodded, “I am happy. I promise.”

You brushed your nose against his, your head angled from the side. Tom’s light buzz lingered, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you closer to him under the warm, cotton sheets. Your head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and running your hand down his abdomen. As you brought his hand toward you, but you furrowed your eyebrows at the light red and purple bruising across his knuckles.

“What’s this from?” You asked, grazing your finger over his skin.

Tom raised his eyebrows, “Uh, I don’t know.” He lied.

You pouted, “You should ice it tomorrow. It looks kind of bad.”

“Yeah…” Tom trailed, biting the inside of his cheek.

You pressed light kisses against the bruises, “Gotta be more careful, babe.”

His brown eyes brightened, a small smile on his lips before he scattered some kisses against your temple, your cheek pressing against his shoulder.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

When you two went to the clinic to get the DNA test, Tom couldn’t sit still the whole time. From the waiting room until he sat on top of the doctor’s table, he pulled at his fingers or tapped his leg which made you place your hands on him to get him to stop. You gave him words of encouragement, trying to support him through the lengthy process, especially when he saw the needle thread into his dark blue veins.

“I thought it was just gonna be a cheek swab.” He chuckled, discomfort in his chuckle.

“Some places do that, but a blood test is more accurate.” The nurse tried to calm him, her tone soft.

“How accurate?” He hissed at the sudden pinch.

Her lips went to the side, “Above ninety percent.”

His head was turned to the cabinets, fixating on the bold font of one of the flyers. You sat in the black, plastic chair next to the counter, your legs crossed and peering up at Tom. His face scrunched together for a split second, visibly seeing that he still hated needles after all these years.

“What?” He asked.

You nodded, “Nothing. You’re just making a cute face.” You jeered, placing your hand on your cheek with your elbow on the arm of the chair.

“Just reminds me of high school blood drives… Nurse Jenna always poking my vein a thousand times.” He huffed.

“It’s because you squirmed so much, like you are now.” You teased.

He rolled his eyes with a faint smile, looking down at his feet before the nurse pulled the needle away and covered it with a ball of cotton. Tom held it there for a few seconds until she slowly wrapped the light blue bandage the perfect tightness around his arm.

“You should get the results back in four to five days. We’ll let you know right away, Mr. Holland.”

“Thank you so much.” Tom grinned at her.

After the nurse walked out with the blood sample and her file, you stood up, slinging your purse strap on your shoulder. Tom stepped down from the table, pulling down his flannel sleeve to cover the bandage.

“You were so brave. Are you upset she didn’t give you a lollipop?” You joked.

“Don’t worry too much, but I think I’ll live.” He jeered back, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

You wrapped your arm around his back, giving him a light hug before you two left to check out then headed back to his apartment. On the ride home, Tom was fairly quiet with the low music from the speakers filling the car. There wasn’t anything you needed to say, but being there for each other was enough comfort. With the windows rolled down halfway, the fresh air weaved through your hair and your fingers were loosely wrapped around the top of the steering wheel.

Tom looked out the window, watching the scenes you passed by, but his head was in a different place. His elbow rested against the armrest of the door, unconsciously biting his nail and shaking his leg. You cautiously put your hand on top of his, the one settled on his leg, intertwining your fingers together without looking at him.

It was still hard getting used to the quietness, not only from you but within Tom’s life.

Tom missed Summer being at the apartment, looking forward to putting up the crayon drawings she worked on at breakfast or insisting they go to the park on weekends. But, since she hadn’t been around, it gave more time for you and Tom to be alone, at least back to how you were six years ago. For the most part, it was nice to dance in the middle of the living room, spinning each other around and sharing takeout at the coffee table while watching a tooth-rotting, romance movie. Just making it more obvious that Summer changed his life, even in the smallest things she did.

The growth of your relationship was important, but most of it was centered around Summer. It didn’t mean you couldn’t both carry a conversation without her, just that most of the things you did together were for her. Endless trips to the park, going to the zoo, taking her to girl scouts, or even running around the house playing hide and seek if it was a rainy day. Her giggles filled the apartment, endless amounts of laughter from the three of you and the memories you created. It was the one thing that motivated Tom to fight for her, just to make more and more memories and have her back in his arms for good.

As the grueling days passed, it was closer to Halloween night and Tom was trying to get as many shifts as he could. Not only was it one of their busiest times, but he also got generous tips. Because the holiday was during a school day, Tom’s apartment held an event for some kids to come by and trick-or-treat early.

It would be Tom’s first holiday without Summer there, but the results would come any time now. It’s all that consumed his mind, on top of him working on her Halloween costume without her. She insisted she wanted to be Wonder Woman and you and Tom never used store-bought costumes, not even when she was a baby and you made a pumpkin costume out of orange felts and stitching.

“Hey! You’re gonna be late for work.” You said, running your hands through Tom’s curls when you passed by him sitting at the table.

Tom snapped out of his trance, shaking his head and rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands. Today marked the day Tom should have gotten his DNA test back, checking his phone and email since he woke up before dawn.

“Are you staying late? I know Halloween week is probably like the jackpot for you guys.” You grinned, grabbing a mixed bag of candy from on top of the fridge and a bowl from the cabinet.

“Yeah, if you thought the tips from single moms paid up, wait until you get an open tab from a fratboy.” Tom chuckled as he got up, stretching his back and he brushed down his wrinkled, navy button-down.

“Well, I’m sure they’re just flirting with you too. You’re so damn charming with those brown eyes and smile.” You winked at him, shifting the big bowl of sweets with both your hands.

He walked behind you, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, “Hmm, well there’s enough of me to go around.” Tom jeered.

Tom checked his phone once again, scrolling through his email and call history, seeing him looking down at it from the corner of your eye.

“Hey, babe, you need to get going.” You reminded him, placing the bowl of candy on the small table next to the door. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him from behind and planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, dear.” Tom faintly smiled, nudging his head against yours before you untangled from him.

He shoved his phone in his back pocket, grabbing his denim jacket off the back of the kitchen chair. Tom told you he’d call you on his way home and to have fun, but felt some relief from not being around the kids. He’d barely spoken to Maggie since their argument last week, only getting updates on Summer and her behavior. Tom never knew someone could find the one nerve that could be pinched in any instance, making him incredibly annoyed with whatever he was doing.

The bar was getting packed as Tom walked past the crowd in the front, everyone mingling at the high-rise tables in their various costumes. There was a discount if you wore a costume, usually helping business with more drinks for lower prices, but that meant the night would feel longer with an endless amount of orders piling on top of each other with little patience from a drunken mob.

Rolling his sleeves up to his elbows, Tom made sure their inventory was stocked as he breezed by his co-workers. He wasn’t close enough to them to tell anyone want he was dealing with, but he figured it was better not to talk about it so it never came up during a shift.

Multicolored lights flashed and beamed through the moving mass of people, but enough of the warm light above the bar helped guide Tom when he was scrambling to attend to whoever he could. It took his mind off his stress, too worried about not getting drinks right when it was easy to with how hectic it was. Drink after drink, he collected a bill and shoved it in the shared tip jar behind them, hoping they made enough so everyone could walk with sore feet, but be satisfied with their hard work.

As the night grew longer, it became rowdier and it meant that it was harder to get people out so new ones could come in. While Tom talked to one of his regulars down at one side, an argument between two strangers began to ensue toward the middle. Tom looked over his shoulder while leaning on the bar, glaring at the two boys whose voices howled over the music.

“I think you should get the fuck out of my face!” One yelled, he had dirty blonde hair and a scratch by his lip.

“Chill out, what the fuck!” The other retorted and his piercing blue eyes were bright enough for Tom to see from where he stood.

“Hey, give me one second.” Tom told the man he was talking to, quickly pacing over toward the angry exchange, “Hey, knock it off.” He said with an assertive, deep tone.

They ignored Tom, continuing to argue before one threw a punch deep into the other’s face. It knocked the man on the floor, making Tom jump over the bar to try to break up the fight. While he defended himself from the guy who punched first, the other drunken man pulled Tom down by the shoulders. In his inebriated fury, he jabbed Tom in the stomach, hurting his rib which made Tom hold on his hands there.

“Hey man, get off me!” Tom gritted his teeth, grabbing the guy’s wrist to push him back down to the floor.

Even though Tom was strong enough to do so, the other nameless man tried to help Tom, but Tom was soon met with a punch to the eye, near the nose bridge. The guy was twice as large as him, able to put his weight on Tom as he threw constant punches to his face and jaw. Tom’s eyes teared up, mixing with the blood from his nose before the guy was pulled off him.

Tom quickly got on his feet, holding on to the bar, but he was met with more arguing between the two strangers he never should have intervened between, to begin with. He rubbed the back of his head, hoping he didn’t have a concussion with the throbbing under his skin. Before Tom could recover from what happened, the guy approached him again, stumbling until Tom threw a punch back.

He didn’t know what came over him, but the stress of everything instantly came out with his rush of adrenaline. More people from the crowd tried to step in, even one of Tom’s co-workers, but it ended with two police officers settling both of them. Tom tasted the blood on his lips, spitting it on the dirty floor as his heads were pulled behind his back.

“Calm down!” The officer pleaded with Tom, taking him outside of the bar.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The sounds of office phones ringing and the news playing lowly were all you could concentrate on. The police station was the last place you thought of being at a time like this, your heart racing since you picked up the phone and told what had happened with Tom. You bounced your leg, the other crossed on top of it and moving your ankle to find anything to make time go faster.

“Y/N L/N.”

You whipped your head, pushing off the chair to get up and speed walk to the front.

“Y-Yes, that’s me.” You said, putting your hands on top of the desk.

“He’s being released now.” The officer spoke with a monotone voice.

You nodded, stepping away from the desk before a short buzz echoed the hall. Tom slowly walked up, his hands behind his back before the officer escorting him released the handcuffs.

“Keep your head up, kid.” The tall officer told him before walking back to the cells.

Tom rubbed his reddened wrists, his face and body in pain from the beating he went through. When you saw his face, you almost couldn’t believe it was him. Red and purple bruises faded on his light skin near his right eye and trailing his sharp jaw. His nose bridge looked displaced and dry blood under his nose, the rest on the collar of his dark shirt. You almost couldn’t stare because of the bright redness surrounding his right eye from popping a vessel.

“Babe…” You choked, gently holding his face.

“I’m okay. I promise.” Tom gulped, his hands settling on your hips, “Let’s just go home.” He croaked.

“Not before we go to the emergency room. Your eye looks awful.” You say, gently moving his head to take a better look at it.

He nodded, “I just wanna go home, please.”

“No, we can’t, you’re hurt--”

“Y/N, I wanna go home.” He snapped.

You clenched your jaw at his stubbornness, “Fine.”

Once you were back to the apartment, the first thing Tom wanted to do was take a shower. He sat on top of the toilet seat, unbuttoning his button-down, but winced at the soreness in his arms when trying to take his not-so-white, t-shirt off. As he continued to try to get his arms higher, Tom couldn’t push himself to do it. He leaned over in frustration, a grunt passing his lips before you walked into the door frame.

“Let me help you.” You softly said, taking a few steps toward him.

Tom didn’t have the energy to fight back so, he leaned back to sitting up straight and lifted his arms as high as he couldn’t which wasn’t much. You grabbed the ends of his t-shirt, peeling it off him and tossing it in the hamper behind you.

You kneeled in front of him, “You got it?”

“Yeah, thanks, baby.” He grunted, holding in his pain.

You nodded, placing your hands on his face and caressing your thumb over his cut cheek. A tear trailed from your waterline, hurt to see him in the state he was. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, giving a light kiss. You ran your hand through the nape of his curls before getting back up and putting your hand on the doorknob.

“Just yell if you need me.”

He just nodded in response, wincing as he stood up and you closed the door.

You let out a deep sigh as you walked back to the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had forgotten to wash from yesterday. It was something to do while Tom was showering, not wanting to think that this wouldn’t have happened if Maggie didn’t come back into his life.

Tom’s phone buzzed on the counter, making you glance at it. The cracked screen lit up but there were a few bloody fingerprints covered on the glass. You picked it up and wet a rag, wiping off any of the dirt and blood from it but you saw an email that was sent to him a few hours ago. You didn’t want to put your nose into his business, but it could have been from the clinic.

Your thumb hesitantly pressed his code in, opening his email account, but you saw it was just a letter from a subscription. Your lips went to the side, feeling bad for snooping until your read an email that he had opened earlier. The timestamp was during his shift, not knowing if he saw it before or after, but your heart fell when you read the document.

“Based on the DNA analysis, the alleged father is excluded as the biological father. This result is consistent with the statement that the alleged father (Thomas Holland) is not the biological father of the child.”

tags/taglist: @felicityparkers @dhtomholland @duskholland @strawberrytom @itstaskeen @tomhollandsgirlfriend @bi-writes @infinite-imagination @honeyspidey @hollandcrush @sunsetholland @pparkersbitch @namoreno @calltothewild @spideyspeaches @veryholland @osterfieldshollandgirl @slutforsebstan @bi-lmg @sunshinepeterparkr @annathesillyfriend @madmadmilk @antigoneidk @hollandcreep @wierdflowerpower

#tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x female reader #dad!tom #bartender!tom

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shemarmooresfedora · 3 years

Text

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: hello, my loves! i am a senior in high school so the next two weeks are going to be extremely hectic for me with final exams and other senior stuff. i will try to get out chapters when i can but they may not always be on time!

Masterlist

Chapter 30

You returned home to see Spencer at the kitchen table with his laptop out and a bunch of papers sprawled out in front of him.

“What’s all this?” you asked.

“So you know how we were discussing moving into a slightly bigger house to have room for the twins,” Spencer said, “I found us a realtor and I have been printing out different houses that fit our requirements all day. You can go through them and I’ll send the approved ones over to her so she can schedule us a tour.”

“Alright, let’s see them,” you smiled, taking the seat next to him.

His hand immediately found its way to your belly and began his rubbing motions.

“This one is close to Jo's elementary school but she will only be there for 2 more years but the twins will be going there eventually. It’s just a little bit of a bigger yard than we have here. But, it’s pretty far away from your work,” Spencer stated.

He continued to go through the contenders, thoroughly explaining every pro and con that you wouldn’t even have thought of.

“This last one has the biggest backyard of them all. It’s about 8 minutes closer to your work than here. It’s even got a little sun room we can use as a book nook! It is farther from Jo’s school but it’s about a 3 minute drive to JJ and Will’s so we could start a carpool with them,” Spencer spoke.

“I think that one is my favorite as of now. And, I’m sure Jo wouldn’t have any arguments about being closer to her best friend,” you giggled.

“There’s also one more thing we need to brainstorm,” you began, “Names for the little ones. I honestly spent the better part of the day trying to think of some but I just can’t.”

“I have an idea,” Spencer smiled softly, “Ophelia.”

It was Spencer’s favorite song on your playlist that you played in the car. He even sang along to it sometimes, he actually had a nice voice when he wholeheartedly sang without caring about potentially embarrassing himself.

“Heaven help a fool who falls in love,” you grinned, finishing the lyric.

“I’m stuck on a boy name though,” Spencer huffed.

Jo came strolling into the kitchen to get her afternoon snack.

“Baby J, do you have any name suggestions for your little brother?” you asked.

Her face lit up and she ran back upstairs. She came racing back down with two books in her hand.

“Daddy, remember?” she held up a picture book.

“That’s the story I read you last night,” Spencer nodded.

“Name him ‘Oliver’ like the little baby elephant in the book!” she exclaimed.

“I actually love it,” you grinned.

“Ollie for short,” Spencer added with a smile.

“And for sister, Pinkalicious!” Jo beamed, holding up the other picture book.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry. I think we already decided on ‘Ophelia’ for sister but we’ll keep that in the back of our minds,” you told her, giving her a pat on the head before she went back upstairs.

“I don’t know Spencer, Pinkalicious Y/L/N-Reid has quite the ring to it,” you giggled.

Your maternity leave had officially begun the week before you were due. You were lounging on the couch watching a nature documentary with Jo when you felt the sudden urge to use the bathroom.

As you stood, you felt the rushing of warm water trail down your thighs, effectively soaking your leggings, followed by a searing cramping sensation.

You immediately sat down on the hardwood floor, cringing in pain and exhaling sharply.

“Jo,” you breathed out, “I need you to call Daddy and tell him the twins are coming and get me a towel please.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Jo nodded, hopping off the couch and grabbing your phone.

She pressed Spencer’s contact as she ran upstairs to get you a towel.

Spencer was in the checkout line at the grocery store when his phone started to buzz in his pocket.

He fished it out, seeing your contact pop up, “Hey, love. I’m already in line but if you need something, make it quick so I can go run and get it.”

“Daddy! It’s Jo,” Jo announced from the other side of the phone.

“Hi, Princess. Is everything okay?” Spencer asked.

“Mommy peed a lot,” she started to say.

Spencer then heard your scream of pain in the background.

“And she said the twins are coming,” Jo stated.

“Uh-um-okay Jo, tell Mommy I’ll be there in 10 minutes. And um call Auntie JJ to come pick you up,” Spencer frantically spoke.

“Next,” the cashier called out.

“Um hi, I just got a call that my wife is going into labor so I have to go. I’m so sorry.”

The cashier smiled, “No problem. I think your wife needs you a lot more right now than these groceries.”

“Thank you,” Spencer rushed out of the store, breaking every speed limit on the way home.

JJ was pulling into the driveway at the same time Spencer was.

“Oh good, Jo called you,” Spencer said, exiting his car, “Thank you for taking her.”

“It’s no problem. She can stay with us for as long as you need,” JJ replied as they both rushed into the house.

You were still on the ground, sitting on the towel Jo retrieved for you.

“Spence, it hurts so bad like really really bad. Worse than Jo,” you grabbed his hand with tears running down your face.

“I’m so sorry, love, that I can’t take some of that pain away but we’ve got to get you to the hospital with doctors and nurses who can help,” he spoke softly, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumbs.

You nodded and Spencer held out his arm for you to grab on to so he could help you up.

“Hospital bag?” you questioned.

“Already in the car, love. You’re doing so good, look we’re almost at the car,” he encouraged you.

“I’m going to ruin your seat,” you huffed out, motioning to your soggy pants.

“Love, that is the furthest of my concerns right now,” he assured you, helping you into the car and buckling you in.

“My wife’s in labor!” Spencer announced as he helped you hobble into the ER.

Immediately, a nurse rolled a wheelchair over to you.

“I called in the car. Dr. Collins is supposed to be on call,” Spencer said.

“Yes, right this way,” the nurse guided you to a room in the delivery wing where Dr. Collins was already waiting.

“Ah, the Reids! I guess the babies decided to come out a week early,” she smiled as Spencer and the nurse helped you into the bed.

“I’m going to check to see how many centimeters dilated you are. You can start pushing at 10,” she stated, “...and you are somehow already there. These babies are very eager to meet their parents!”

“I’m going to check the ultrasound real quick,” Dr. Collins rolled the machine over to you and scanned the wand across your belly.

“So unfortunately, we aren’t going to be able to have a vaginal birth today like planned. The baby girl is ready to come out first but she is in breech position meaning she is flipped the opposite way we want her. We’re going to bring you up to the OR for a C-section, okay?”

You looked at Spencer panickedly.

“Scared, Spence” is all you could muster.

“I can be in there with her, right?” Spencer asked.

“That is correct,” Dr. Collins nodded.

“Love, you are the strongest and bravest person I know. You can do this,” Spencer brushed your stray hairs back, “I will be right by your side the whole time and then you can finally have Ophelia and Oliver in your arms.”

“Okay,” you nodded, wincing as another contraction intensified.

“I love you so much,” Spencer kissed the top of your head as they wheeled you up to the OR.

The nurse handed Spencer scrubs to put on over his normal clothes, “Love, I need to let go of your hand for just a second to put these on but then I’ll be right back.”

Spencer continued to give you words of encouragement and promises of all the things you were going to do together as a family with the new babies to distract you from the discomfort throughout the c-section.

When you heard the first cry, you started to get choked up.

“Oh god, she’s so beautiful, Y/N. We made that,” Spencer sobbed.

You squeezed his hand, “Go.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer asked.

“Ophelia is crying for her Daddy,” you smiled through happy tears.

Spencer stood and was out of your line of vision but you could still hear his occasional sobs and him calling out the weight and other things to you from across the room.

You heard the second distinct cry. You could already tell your babies apart from just their wails alone.

“Ollie’s here, love!” Spencer bawled, “He’s just as precious as Ophelia.”

You were stitched up and brought into the recovery room as the babies were measured, tested, and swaddled. Spencer rolled two bassinets into your room with the biggest smile on his face and watery eyes.

“I can’t believe they’re here,” you wept, “How are they so cute?”

Spencer gently lifted up Ollie and placed him into your left arm and then Ophelia in your right.

You held the cooing babies in your arms, looking down at them in complete awe.

“Spence, can you take one of them?” you asked, “I mean I would love to hold them both forever but I’m thoroughly exhausted.”

“Ollie seems to be on the same page,” Spencer smiled at the little boy snoozing in your arms, “I’ll take Ophelia for a little walk and make some phone calls to our families and the team.”

Sleeping didn’t seem to be on Ophelia’s schedule as she was staring around the room with her big wide eyes, trying to take in the whole world.

“Ophelia, that’s your Dada,” you explained to her even though you knew she couldn’t understand.

“Yes, I’m your Dada,” Spencer beamed as he accepted the baby into his arms.

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

ain't it fun? | Part five

Summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

Warnings: pregnancy, chronic illness, spencer's career chance - he's a high school teacher now, they have a 1-year-old, smut at the end but not graphic.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: I imagine this is in season 10, so they've been together at least 7 years-ish now, I just jumped well into the future because I wanted to! also, Cordelia's nickname is Edie and pronounced Ee-dee !!

P1 P2 P3 P4

“No.”

Spencer sighs, “are you going to like any of my suggestions?”

“When you give me a baby name that isn’t from some weird old male book character, then yes, I’ll take them into consideration,” she replies, hand on her stomach as she lays back against the pillows.

She was huge, 9 months pregnant and so, so close to the finish line. She was swollen and in pain and exhausted. Going off every single medication and recreational drugs to make a life was a commitment and a half, she was doing well but she was so ready to be done. To do a few more months of breastfeeding and then go back on her medications.

Spencer was terrific. He was googling and asking Penelope to research things, he had called doctors he knows and friends and did everything in his power to find a way to ease her pain even before they got pregnant. He’s taken the last 3 months off of work and he doesn’t know when he’ll go back. He has just been so, so incredible the whole time.

Naming a child was hard. You had to not only think about all the nicknames and what their initials spell, but you also had to think about how they’ll like it; if it’ll fit their personality and spirit. And most of all, is it going to get them bullied? There are some terrible kid names. Like Richard… how do you name a newborn Richard?

“I want something meaningful with a nice nickname and works with our names and her siblings,” she whispered towards him. “They need to all work together.”

“What are some of your favourites?” He asks, moving in closer and finding a way to cuddle in with her and her pregnancy pillow who has all but replaced him lately.

“I like earthy names, like Lennox, Juniper, Aspen, Elowen,” her voice is really soft, she bites her lip at the end as she thinks them over again. “And old things like Cordelia and Winnifred.”

“Which one sounds the best with Reid?”

“I like Cordelia Reid the most, and then we can call her Edie and I was thinking you can pick her middle name?” She’s been thinking about it for a while, but too afraid to know his opinions.

“Cordelia means core in Latin, which makes sense cause she already has my heart,” Spencer teased, he has made it very clear that their little girl is going to be spoiled, loved and a daddy's girl.

He took all his fears of being a bad dad and threw them out the window. He knew that just being there was all he wanted from his dad, and so that’s what he was going to do. He left the BAU for the time being, he was doing the odd lecture at the academy and answering calls for cases. They couldn’t just stop using his brain, there were some things too pressing to not ask the walking computer, but other than that, he was done.

He was looking into other jobs for when he finally decides to go back, he was unsure how long of a paternity leave he wanted. He was really content with just staying home all the time now, but he did miss going out and being useful during the days. The job he was most interested in, however, was a high school teacher.

A prep school in DC is looking into adding an Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology course to their curriculum, and they wanted Spencer. They thought he would be perfect for the seniors, he is fun and young and attentive, he can control a room and keep them entertained, and he’s probably the best teacher a kid could get.

It was going to make him a good dad too.

“I think Jade is a nice middle name,” he adds after thinking it over for a few minutes.

“Cordelia Jade Reid,” she says the full name for the first time and it just feels right, like they already know her.

—

She was very calm for a newborn baby.

She liked to just look around and blink, she licked her lips a lot and she was constantly breaking out of her swaddle. She was always happy to have cuddles with her dad and she pooped every night at exactly at 3 am, without fail. She didn’t cry a lot, but when she did it was still wonderful to hear.

They were so in love with her, she was absolutely perfect for them. She fit right into their sleeping schedule and their life, she ate like a pro, she slept most of the night and she was growing way too fast for their liking.

One day they’re crying over the fact they made a life in a tiny little hospital room, and the next thing they know she’s about to turn 1.

She’s sitting in bed with Y/N, she’s sitting in her lap with two handfuls of hair and a story to tell. She’s been babbling so much lately, she hears them talking all the time and she wants to join so badly. They indulge her, asking her to continue her thoughts and gasping at her gossip.

“No way, and what did you do next?!” She asked the little one sat in her lap.

Edie babbled on once more, smacking her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she pushed air past her vocal cords, humming and making the funniest sounds. She went on and on, she was so enthusiastic, like her father, as she waved her arms around to make her point.

“That is so fascinating, you are so cool, little Edie,” Y/N hyped her up, smiling at her as she leaned in close and pressed their noses together.

Cordelia laughed and it finally made Spencer giggle too, he had been watching from the doorway as his ‘wife’ and daughter talked in bed. They were best friends already, always talking and snuggling, learning or reading together. She was always happy when she was with one of them, she was needy and snuggly and very co-dependent but they didn’t mind, they preferred all the attention from her.

“Look who’s home,” Y/N whispered and Cordelia shot a glance towards the door, she smiled and screamed as she saw him.

“Hi Edie!” He waves at her with a smile, he takes his bag off and places it by the dresser followed by his blazer.

He gets into the bed and she instinctively reaches for a hug. He wraps her up and she snuggles right into his neck, with a fistful of his shirt, she just holds him there. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t home all day anymore, she missed him for lunch and at nap time but she loved the new routine of a snuggle when she woke up and he got home.

Spencer leans back against the pillows beside Y/N, turning his head to capture a kiss from her lips. They always just spend a quick second kissing when he gets home, even if it’s just a peck or a full-on passionate make-out, he always kisses her when he comes home. He smiles at the end of the kiss, pulling her into a hug too.

“I love Fridays,” he whispers, “Edie do you know what Fridays mean?”

She pulls away and sits up, she loves to listen to him. “Friday is the last day of the school week, which means I get to spend 2 whole days with my favourite people now.”

Edie smiled, almost like she understood what he meant, and then she was talking again, it was completely incomprehensible but they imagined she was telling him about her day.

“You forgot the part where we went to the park,” Y/N added.

Cordelia looked at her with wide eyes, “dada,” was the only word she said before babbling on again and they both stopped.

“Did she just?” Spencer was shocked and frozen still after asking.

Y/N sat up and looked right into Cordelia’s eyes, “who is that?” She pointed at Spencer.

“Dada!” She said it again and they were suddenly all squealing, even Cordelia was suddenly excited as she kept screaming dada over and over again.

“Can you say, mom? Or mama? Mummy?” Spencer tried his hardest to find an easy way for her to say it.

“Mumm,” she pushed her lips together to hum her M sound and Spencer was floored, he bounced her up and down a small amount as they cheered.

“Smartest girl in the world!” Spencer cheered her on before pulling her into another hug.

Y/N was crying softly, little tiny dreams that she didn’t even know she had were coming true every single day with them. She knew she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up, all those dreams died when her illness got worse and they all warned her that having kids would put her at risk of being moneyless and that working wasn’t an option to even support them. Let alone the threat of them taking them away just because of her autism or depression possibly being considered ‘too bad’ to care for them.

Spencer took all those fears and he kicked them out. Every day she got to experience the most precious gifts the world had to offer, her daughter was perfect and her husband was incredible. Together they were a perfect little family that ran on trust, love, and communication. Always talking, always hugging, always there for each other.

—

They crawl into bed much later than they expected to. Cordelia didn’t want to go to bed, she was trying her hardest to keep staying awake to spend time with them but eventually, sleep won. They finally placed her in her crib with her white noise and her complete darkness and closed her door for the next few hours of peace.

They both let out a deep sigh before rolling to face one another. “How was your day?” He asks, like always.

“Good,” she smiles, “I think having a kid and getting on her schedule was the best thing I’ve ever done actually, cause I’m sleeping on time, I’m eating when she does and I’m outside a lot more. She’s given me this purpose and it’s rewarding on my body.”

Spencer moves in so he can kiss her nose, “I love hearing that.”

“How was your class today?” She asks back, loving his little stories about all the 17 and 18-year-olds that were fascinated by him. As well as the kids who thought it was cool to try and pick on him before getting the shit verbally kicked out of them in front of the whole class.

It was interesting seeing him in a form of authority, he never really took charge at the BAU, she’s never seen him yell at his friends and he’s never really yelled at her either. He’s been incredibly calm, so to see him verbally tear someone apart by acknowledging their biggest flaws to make sense of why they feel the need to bully, it was pretty intense.

“They were a lot better today, they enjoyed the lesson and the kids that were giving me trouble skipped, I guess he really didn’t appreciate me calling him out that bad on Tuesday,” Spencer smirked, rolling his eyes like he cared.

“I still can’t believe that he thought it was okay to call you names in front of other students, where is the respect these days?”

“Well,” he’s about to do what he always does. He can never be truly mad at someone because he knows why everyone does what they do and that they can’t help it. “In his file, it says his parents are newly divorced, we get a list of all the kids information on the attendance like allergies and things, but also small info like life changes in case they act out.”

“Doesn’t mean he can call you the f slur,” she whispers, “all because you wore a purple shirt?”

“If I met his father I’d probably get an answer for that,” he adds, “if he’s afraid to show his emotions around his son, it’s probably why his son thinks colours are gay.”

It makes her laugh, “you look hot in purple too so I don’t see the problem?”

“Do I?” He teases, getting in even closer and pressing their bodies together.

She rolls her eyes before wrapping her arms around him and leaning forward for a quick kiss, “I think you look sexy all the time.”

He kisses her as a thank you, “I think the same about you.”

“Even when I haven’t showered in 2 days because she cries if she can’t see me and she cries if she gets wet?” Y/N laughed, annoyed but in love with their little monster at the same time.

“Always,” he reminds her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she kisses him again after.

There are probably a million more things to share from the day, but they spend their time kissing instead. It’s been too long since they’ve just rolled around in the sheets making out like they did in the beginning. Before they ever had sex, before they had kids and a house and a love as strong as they do now.

A part of them missed the early days when everything was new and exciting, but she also loved the fact that they knew each other so well that they didn’t have to communicate anymore. They ran like 1 unit, always completing the other person's thoughts, needs and wants. They were so unbelievably happy.

She wants him badly and he wants her just as much, and he’s about to take her when she pulls back. “Nope, as much as I love her I can’t get pregnant again for at least another year.”

It makes him laugh as he pulls away and rolls over to look through his nightstand for a condom, “it wouldn’t be that bad?”

“You carry it then, seahorse it up,” she teased. “I like being back on my medicine, I need some time to be okay before I go through all that again.”

Once he’s all situated in the latex and back between her legs, he hovers over her, so close that their lips are touching ever so slightly. “I am fine if it’s just the three of us forever.”

“I’m not,” she smiles, “there will be 4 of us one day, just not today.”

With that, she’s pulling him into another kiss as he pushing inside. It’s a feeling she’s accustomed to but will never be used to, it’s a stretch that shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is. She holds him closer as she plays with his tongue in her mouth.

He was so good at everything he did, especially the sex. He knew every single part of her body now and exactly how to push all her buttons the right way. She could live in the moment of his pumping in and out of her while his thumb circled her clit and his other hand groaned her breasts. Eventually, he kissed down her throat and she was a mess of breathy moans and low gasps.

Writing in the sheets, her legs wrap around him as she tried to pull him in even closer. It was impossible to get closer but he was still too far away, she wanted to absorb him and live in him forever. He was her safe place and she never wanted to be anywhere else.

As her orgasm bubbled, so did his. The both of them gasping and panting, she whined as she breached the edge and gripped his back, “Spence!”

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered before fucking into her harder and faster, pushing her through it as he reached his own.

His movements on her clit never stopped and suddenly one felt like two and she wasn’t sure when the rush was going to stop and she didn’t care when it did. It was powerful, soothing and euphoric. A high she could live in for a while and return to it without problem as long as she had him.

He came with a small moan, trying to keep quiet as he muffled it into her neck, stilling his hips on his last thrust and dropping onto her more. Her hands were all over his back as she pressed kisses to his forehead, coming down but not wanting the love to stop there.

The love was never going to stop there for them. Their love was never-ending, and somehow as she held him there in her arms and felt his breath on his neck, she turned to see the baby monitor with their peaceful child sound asleep down the hall, she loved him even more now somehow.

Loving Spencer Reid was like falling down a bottomless pit. She never knew when she was going to reach the end, but she was content with falling.

smut taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

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