#I prefer the original one but this wasn’t half bad

[woman-child91]

I’ve seen worse popular girls who are just cruel, heartless, disrespectful, mean, nasty and pure evil. Bethany wasn’t even that bad. So I don’t understand why she was punished so severely.

She gets turned into a man

She falls in love with a 90s teen

She changes for the better due to him

She gets her hopes up and doesn’t get a happy ending

I mean, I was hoping for Alex to have come back as a teenager. Like, instead of time passing during his 20 years trapped in the game? Well, it would have paused or something.

[planetaryupscaled]

Our Little Secret

Male Reader x Eunbi

Tags: 4k, creampie, stepmom

The story is not ours; we simply alter the original story to our preferred settings.

“Oh you like that? you naughty boy.”

—

I became a new half-brother three months ago, at the age of twenty-three. Though I know this is completely normal, it still feels strange to be so much older than my sister. Even stranger that my step-mom is not much older than me. A year ago, my dad married a twenty seven year old woman. She had her child three months ago at the age of 28. It still feels strange to see them with a baby. But I'm getting used to it.

As I walked up to the door of their house, I took out my key and unlocked the door letting myself in. Walking in, I set my bag next to the staircase.

“Hello.”

“Hey Tae,” my step-mother, Eunbi, called. “In the living room.”

Walking into the living room I was a little startled as she was breastfeeding Sooyun on the couch.

“I hope you’re not offended by this,” Eunbi said looking up at me with smile. “I was just finishing giving her a snack before putting her down for bed.”

“Oh no, not at all,”

“Good,” she replied with a soft smile. “Going to put her down and let your dad watch her for a while. Though he’s taking a quick nap, had a hard day at work I guess.”

“Figures,” I said with a bit of a knowing look.

“Yep, that’s him. Always the party crasher,” Eunbi said as she walked out of the room.

As Eunbi walked by me, I caught a glimpse of one of her breasts, as she hadn't put that side of her spaghetti strap top back on. She obviously wasn’t wearing a bra and while I had noticed it before, her breasts really had grown quite a bit since her pregnancy. Probably has a lot to do with the milk stored in them now. She used to probably be something like a B cup, I never looked that hard really, she is my step-mother after all.

I was sitting on the couch with a bottle of water by the time she came back into the living room. Walking back in I looked a little more closely. At her breasts and entire body, they really had grown a considerable amount.

Eunbi was very attractive. She had pretty tanned skin and black long hair that flowed down her shoulders. Her eyes were dark brown. She was pretty much back in good shape, loosing most of all that extra pregnancy weight, which just in three months is pretty amazing. Eunbi was about 5’3” I would guess and what she was wearing only helped make her look better. Not that she really needs it.

Since it was the middle of summer, it made sense that she had on the black spaghetti strap top which she had put back into place but still no bra. She was wearing light colored jean shorts that probably went to about mid-thigh, showing off her legs nicely with a pair easy slip-on sandal.

“Would you like anything else to drink?” Eunbi asked as she noticed my bottle of water.

“No, water is just fine,” I replied with a soft smile.

“Oh being healthy tonight huh?” she teased lightly.

“Hey! I am, most of the time,” I shot back playfully.

“Well,” she replied looking at me. “With a physique like that, you must.”

“Water does help,” I replied mid laugh and with a smile. “Thanks.”

Eunbi then walked over and sat next to me on the couch as she turned on the TV, with only about four inches separating our legs. She turned down the volume enough so that we could still hear each other talking.

“So did you have a decent day?” Eunbi asked turning her head to look at me.

“Eh it wasn’t so bad,” I replied with a smile. There was a moment after I replied that we both looked into each other's eyes for a second longer than usual before we both turned our heads to look back at the TV.

“Ahh shoot,” Eunbi sighed as she stretched her legs out in front of her, stretching her muscles. “I forgot Sooyun’s bottle in the kitchen, and I am so full of milk right now. Sooyun didn’t want much earlier.”

She gently held her breasts underneath them on the bottom as she referred to how full they were. It was then that I noticed her nipples were really hard and pushing outward underneath her top. It feels kind of wrong marveling at her breasts like that, but I can’t say I don’t like them either.

“I’ll go get it for you.” As I was about to go get it, she held my hand.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it, I can do it later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…” she replied with a smile. As she said that she moved herself right next to me, the sides of our bodies touching and she laid her head down on my shoulder, “I’m sure.”

I wrapped my arm around her, letting my hand rest on her shoulder as I held her gently. Her hair smelled good too, she must have taken a shower a little bit before I got here. A fruity smell, maybe mango or something like that.

“I hope she turns out to be as nice and caring as you,” Eunbi said softly with her head still on my shoulder and looking forward.

“I’m sure she will and thank you for the compliment.”

With that she moved her head and looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes and said, “Of course. You fully deserve it. You’re a wonderful step son.”

I smiled back as she said that, meeting her smile. We held the gaze for a few moments looking into each other's eyes, perhaps a couple seconds too long this time. Breaking the gaze, she laid her head back on my shoulder. Looking down I noticed her nipples were still hard, maybe even harder now.

“This may sound kind of strange but I was wondering,” I started to ask looking down at her. “Do you ever...taste yourself? I’m just curious. I would think mothers would.”

Propping her head up a bit she looked back at me and asked, “You mean my milk?”

“Umm...” I started to reply as I let it sink it what she said. Realizing that what I asked could have meant something else that I didn’t mean to ask at all I quickly said, “Yes, your milk.”

“I have actually, yes... it’s kind of sweet tasting with a bit of a saltiness to it,” she said giggling a little bit as she smiled back at me obviously getting what I was realizing. “Why? Did you wonder what it tasted like?”

“Just curious, really,” I replied somewhat innocently. “Though I guess now that I think about it, yeah I did.”

“Would you like to try some? It is safe for grown people too!” she said playfully.

“Umm, I guess…” I said somewhat hesitantly. Not quite what I had in mind but this seemed o.k. “Do I need a glass or something?” dumb question to ask on my part.

“No need,” she said with a smile looking me in the eyes. “It is best if you try it from the source.”

“Eunbi...” I called out her name. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea... I know we’re not related and all but you are my step mom.”

“Its fine…” she said reassuringly. “One little suck isn’t mean anything and no one will ever know but us.”

With that, she pushed both straps of her top down her arms, over and off of her breasts. Exposing them. Her large tanned skin, luscious looking breasts were gorgeous. Her aureoles were dark pink, large, and swollen, and her nipples were hard and pushed straight out. Her breasts hung down slightly, which she pushed out by pushing her chest forward as she looked at me.

“Wow they’re gorgeous,” I whispered softly under my breath, realizing a moment later she probably heard me.

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile looking at me and gently cupping her breasts at the bottom of them. “Take your pick as to which one you want your sample from. Just be careful, they’re extra sensitive right now.”

I smiled back, looking her in her eyes before slowly lowering my head. I moved my mouth toward the one closest to me—her left one. As my mouth neared her nipple, I slowly stuck out my tongue and gently flicked the tip of her nipple. She drew in a short quick gasp as I did and I knew, even if it was wrong, that she probably wouldn’t mind if I had more than one quick suck.

As my mouth reached her nipple, I grasped it with my lips. Gently flicking it with my tongue inside my mouth, I began to softly suck on her hard nipple. Feeling milk seep out of her nipple and into my mouth I sucked a little bit harder as then her milk squirted into my mouth. It did taste somewhat sweet with a hint of saltiness. It wasn’t too bad as I swallowed it and sucked harder, getting more of her milk into my mouth.

After that larger suck I removed my mouth and ran my tongue from her nipple all the way across her other breast to her other nipple. Grasping that one in my lips just as I had the other, I began sucking on it taking her milk into my mouth. Moving my hand up I very gently pinched her other nipple as I sucked.

“Ohhh,” Eunbi sucked in a sharp gasp. “Oh Tae, I haven’t been touched like this in months. This isn’t right but… don’t stop.”

Hearing her say that only made me suck harder, taking more of her sweet warm milk into my mouth. After I had a little more of her milk, I removed my lips from her nipple and looked up at her smiling. She returned the smile and looked at me with her brown eyes which said that she clearly wanted more.

Moving my head up to be level with hers, I took a chance and leaned in and kissed her gently on her soft lips. She didn’t back away, instead she kissed me back, gently at first but soon we were kissing passionately. She had wrapped her arms around me, pressing her breasts into my chest. I had one arm around her while my other hand was pinching one of her hard nipples.

In the middle of our embrace, she abruptly stopped and pulled away. Looking back at me, “We can’t… This is wrong, what are we thinking? especially not right here and now, your dad, he’s only taking a nap. He could wake at any time.”

“Yeah...” I sighed softly as I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. “I guess you’re right.”

“No more of that either, except this last one…” she said with a sly smile as she gave me a hard deep kiss before pulling away.

Eunbi then cupped her breasts in her hands, gently kneading them outward squirting her milk out of her nipples at me, particularly my face. I smiled at her as she did it a few times before putting her top correctly back on.

“I’m so glad you liked that,” she said gently wiping the milk off my face. “I don’t know if we can ever continue this, it is wrong, but deep inside, I definitely want to.”

“Am too,” I smiled back at her.

“Good, I am glad we understand each other,” she replied. “I'll go get dinner ready.”

With that she got up off the couch and left the living room. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Was this some kind of dream? I pinch myself, nope I guess it wasn’t. I really had just sucked milk out of my step-mothers nipples and we had both enjoyed it immensely.

The rest of the evening went by and we had our dinner, and talked about random things before saying our goodnights and heading to bed.

Getting to my room was all the way up the third floor of the house. It was somewhat of a loft because it was the only thing up here. The staircase came directly into the room after opening the door. But you didn't have to go up a ladder, so it wasn't really a loft. Getting into bed I decided to sleep naked like I normally do. It was warm enough and after a little while of dozing, I fell right asleep.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to hear the baby during the night as they were all the way down on the first floor. But sure enough I was able to as at about 2 am when she started crying. After about 30 minutes it seemed to be perfectly quiet again with no outbursts at all.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the door to my room creak open, then close again. Looking up from my bed still in a groggy sleep, I saw Eunbi standing near the door, watching me. She was wearing what looks to be a silk nightgown in a light peach shade color that goes down to her mid-thigh. Her nipples were hard again and pushing against the fabric. I smiled at her as she looked at me.

“I know I said we probably couldn’t do any of this again,” she said quietly. “But my body and mind are just begging to be touched again. I haven’t been touched like you did earlier in a long time.

“Your dad once I got close to term with Sooyun stopped wanting to be with me in this sort of way for the most part. And now after she’s born, it’s been even worse. I need, and want the attention.”

“I don’t know how anyone could pass up someone as gorgeous and sexy as you,” I replied with a smile.

As I said that, she walked over to the edge of my bed, pulled back the covers, and got in next to me, smiling. She placed herself close to mine before she leaned in and kissed me, we kissed passionately as she ran her hand down the side of my body from my shoulder down to my thigh.

“Sleeping naked huh?” she whispered with a mischievous smile. “I like that. I’m only wearing this nightgown, and I’m sure we could change that.”

“Oh?” I commented giving her soft kiss. “Well, why don't we right now?”

Eunbi smiled at me as she sat up in bed and pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing her wonderful breasts as well as her pussy. Looking down, I noticed she had some hair down there before wriggling back under the covers and pushing closer to me.

“Sorry about the hair down there,” she said looking down her body. “I have let it grow lately without doing much to it.”

“Sorry?” I replied with a bit of shock that she was apologizing. “You’re gorgeous how you are. I love it.”

“Really?” She commented excitedly with a smile and a warm kiss. “I’ll keep it then. Just for you. Our little secret.”

Gently running my hand down her soft skin on the outside of her thigh I slowly moved inside and then upward. She instinctively moved her legs apart as I reached her pussy, which was hairy, wet and warm.

“Mmmmm,” Eunbi moaned quietly as my hands ran across the slit of her pussy lips. “I need this so bad.”

“And I want this too bad.” I said.

Eunbi trying to push her pussy down more onto my hand. “You can have all of me that you want, the way you want.”

I gently slipped two fingers into her wet throbbing pussy and began pushing them in and out of her, curling them inside as she moaned quietly in pleasure. Taking my fingers out, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body against mine, pressing my hard thick cock into her mound of pussy hair as I kissed her deeply and passionately.

She broke away a little bit and grasped my hard cock in her hand, starting to stroke it up and down with her slender fingers from its base to its head.

“Ohhh Eunbi…” I moaned as she increased her speed while stroking my hard cock. “That feels so good… don’t stop.”

As she continued to stroke my cock, I took one of her breasts in my mouth. Wrapping my lips around one of her hard nipples I began to suck on it letting her milk squirt into my mouth. I continued to suck on it, letting more and more of her sweet milk into my mouth. She stopped stroking me as intensely as she was groaning in pleasure from my sucking and pinching of her other nipple.

“Oh god Tae, yes...take all the milk you want from me,” she moaned in pleasure.

Smiling up at her after she said that, I moved to her other breast licking her big sensitive dark pink swollen aureole before grasping her nipple with my lips. Sucking in I took more large squirts of her milk into my mouth, savoring its sweet taste.

Eunbi had moved her hand back to my hard cock and was slowly stroking it up and down, playing with the head of it and any pre-cum with her thumb.

“Mmmm, oh yes,” I groaned lightly as I took my mouth off of her nipple.

“Oh do you like that Tae?” Eunbi asked playfully. “Glad you do because I can’t go any longer without your big hard thick cock inside me. I’m throbbing for it more than I knew I ever could.”

With that she threw back the covers on the bed and straddled me. Kneeling over me she pressed my cock down on my stomach with her hairy pussy and grinded gently on it. Smiling down at me she began to knead her breasts outward, squirting milk out of them toward my chest and face.

“Do you like that? Oh you naughty boy,” she said with a mischievous smile as her milk squirted out of her hard nipples over me. “I’m a mommy now. Do you want to fuck your step mommy’s pussy? You better, because I want your hard cock so bad.”

I nodded as she moved her hips up, placing the tip of my cock on the slit of her hairy pussy. She gently moved my tip of my cock along her lips, feeling her pussy hair before pushing her hips down, sliding the head of my cock inside her.

“Ohh god…” Eunbi gasped as it entered her and she continued pushing down, taking me all inside. “Oh yes...yes. Fill me up, mommy wants all your cock!”

I pushed up as she slid down my hard thick cock, pushing my entirety into my step-mom’s love hole. Her wet pussy was swishing around my cock as she began to go up and down on me.

Eunbi was bouncing up and down, lifting her hips all the way up so just the head of my cock was inside her before pushing herself right back down to the base of my cock. Her big swollen breasts were jiggling frantically up and down as she rode me. I reached up and began massaging her breasts as she bounced, making her spray her milk.

She bent down so I could take her nipple in my mouth as she continued to push herself up and down on my hard cock. I began sucking on her nipple, enjoying the flow of her milk into my mouth.

“Oh god, yes,” Eunbi moaned as I sucked on her nipple taking her milk. “Suck out mommy’s milk while you fuck me...ohhhh, god yes.”

My cock was pumping in and out of her wet pussy and I continued to suck out her milk from her nipples.

I then slid my hands down the sides of her body to her waist as Eunbi sat upright on top of me again, bouncing up and down on my hard cock. I could feel her pussy walls loosely grasping at my cock as I pushed into her. She was moaning with her head back and hair flowing down her back. Her juices were leaking out of her pussy and down my cock to my balls, making a spot on the bed.

I could feel my cock beginning to thicken inside of her as well as my balls beginning to contract as she continued to ride me. Eunbi could feel it too as she went up and down even fast and harder.

“Oh you’re going to cum soon aren’t you?” Eunbi said breathing heavily looking down at me with a smile. “You better cum deep inside of me. Mommy needs to be full of cum, maybe you get yourself another sibling.” She said with a seductive smile.

We were both moaning as my cock continued to thicken inside her as I went hard and fast in and out her wet cunt. I began to feel her pussy contract in pleasure and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Thrusting myself up deep inside of her, Eunbi slammed down on my cock and sat there grinding into me as I began to spasm inside of her. My cock was erupting inside of her, spraying my warm sticky cum deep into my step-mom’s pussy. Eunbi continued to grind on me causing her hanging breasts to sway back and forth as my cock still pushed my cum out and deep inside her.

“Oh god...fuck…yes...” Eunbi breathed out sharply as she felt my cum shoot deep inside her wanting pussy. “God that feels good, oh I needed this so bad. Oh Tae, you’ve made mommy feel so… so good!”

Looking up at her smiling, I reached up cupping her breasts and gently pinched her swollen nipples before massaging her breasts. Softly kneading them her nipples began to spray out more milk onto my chest. Eunbi then replaced her hands with mine as she lifted her hips up, removing my wet cock from her wet pussy. Laying down beside me, Eunbi massaged her breasts aiming her spraying milk at my chest and face. Licking my lips I took as much of her sweet milk as I could smiling.

“So love that you like this,” Eunbi said giggling at me with her milk on my face. “I need this from you more than just this once.”

“So I take it, mommy...is doing alright?” I said with a smile, emphasizing the word mommy.

She gave me a huge smile as I said that, leaning in and giving me a big warm kiss. She then pushed her hips toward me as we were lying on our sides, pressing her mound of pubic hair against my semi-limp wet cock. I pushed my hips forward rubbing against her hair as I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her passionately.

“Yes, oh yes,” Eunbi whispered breaking our embrace. “Only thing mommy would want now, is more of your cum in mommy’s already cum filled pussy,” she added with a warm smile.

Giving her a mischievous smile, I rolled her onto her back and got on top of her. Her legs spread apart instinctively as I climbed on top of her. My cock was now hard again; I teased her with it, gently rubbing the tip of it on her hairy pussy lips.

“Oh god… no teasing, just fuck me already, fill me up with that hard cock,” Eunbi breathed as she heaved her hips upwards.

Pushing my hips down, I slid my hard cock into her sopping wet pussy easily. Starting to move my hips up and down, I was pushing my hard thick cock as deep into her as I could go.

Her walls of her pussy were grasping at my cock, hugging it as tight as they could. Our juices had mixed together and were seeping out of her now, trickling out of her pussy down over her ass and to the bed, making a bit of a little puddle.

Thrusting my hard thick cock into here sopping wet hairy pussy, she was matching my motions by thrusting her hips up. God, she felt so good wrapping around my cock. I wish I could do this all day long but I knew that wasn’t going to happen plus I wasn’t going to be able to last that long this time.

Continuing to push my hard cock into her, I cupped one of her breasts in my hand and brought my head down toward it. Running my tongue around the dark swollen aureole I then grasped her hard nipple and sucked. Her milk squirted out, filling my mouth with her sweetness.

“Mmmmm!... Oh god yes,” Eunbi moaned bucking her hips up hard. “Take mommy’s milk in your mouth.... oh yes, like that...and her pussy, oh yes...push your hard cock deep into mommy’s pussy.”

I couldn’t take it much longer, my hard cock was thickening inside her as my balls were beginning to contract while I took one more suck from her nipple, tasting her sweet milk in my mouth over my tongue. She could tell I wasn’t going to last much longer as she pushed her hips up hard and wrapped her legs around my ass pulling me in.

Pressing my cock into her wet hairy loose pussy as deep as it could go, I began to let go. My cock started to convulse inside her tightening pussy walls, spraying my second warm sticky cum deep into her pussy. Bucking her hips into me, Eunbi moaned as my cock pushed out more of my cum into her warm pussy.

As we subsided, we collapsed in each other’s arms laying on our sides. Eunbi was pressing her big soft luscious breasts against my chest as she smiled at me.

“Oh Tae,” she said softly. “You’ve no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

“No?” I replied with a smile.

“You filled my pussy with so much cum, I hadn’t had any for so long and now all this...oh god it feels so good,” she whispered with a big smile as she wiggled her hips against me.

Eunbi then reached her hand between her legs, plunging two of her fingers deep into her pussy coating them in the mixture of our juices. Pulling them out she brought them up to her mouth and slowly sucked the juices off of them, savoring the taste.

Smiling back at me with her gorgeous brown eyes after she sucked off the last of our juices on her two fingers, I pushed my naked body against hers as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

[hazbinwhoree]

Guardian Angel

Part 1/3 Part 2

A/N: Starting a series where f!reader is the child of a demon and a human and Adam’s been tasked with keeping an eye on her. Please leave requests!

“It has recently come to my attention that a demon and a human have reproduced,” Sera announced. 

Adam cocked an eyebrow. “No shit. For real?”

“The spawn is already grown. So far she hasn’t caused any trouble so I do not see the need for actions further than simply keeping an eye on her.”

“Okay and what does that have to do with me?” Adam asked, taking a long sip from his drink.

“You’re going to watch her.”

Adam spit out his drink. “Sorry, what?”

“You’re going to be her guardian angel,” Sera smirked. Adam’s jaw dropped idignantly. “Do I have to?” He whined.

“Yes.”

That’s how Adam found himself on Earth, stalking some random demon/human hybrid.

Although despite his apathy, she wasn’t just some random, a demon/human hybrid was almost unheard of. She was the third documented instance of that happening.

But as far as he could tell, she led a boring, painfully bleak life. Adam almost felt bad for her. She seemed really depressed. But his job was getting boring. Her routine was always the same. Work, sleep, eat, shower. It seemed that the hybrid was completely unaware of her origin and the powers she possessed. It made Adam’s job easy. Easy and boring.

He started fucking with her, using his ability to be invisible to the human eye in order to fuck with things in her apartment to mess with her head.

One day, while her roommate was out, she stood in the middle of her room, staring at nothing. “Come out you annoying fuck!” She called out. It took Adam by surprise. “I know someone is here,” she hissed. “And you’ve been fucking with me, and it’s pissing me off, and I know you’re here right now, so show yourself!”

Adam debated for a moment. Sera had just said to watch over her, she’d never said it had to be no contact. In fact, Adam was pretty sure Sera would prefer he try to bring the hybrid to the light, but she chose the wrong angel for that task.

Tired of watching her while she was unawares, Adam let himself appear to her. He appeared behind her, just to fuck with her one more time. She turned and jumped, and Adam snickered. To his surprise, she recovered rather quickly.

“What the fuck are you?”

Adam was once again taken aback, and then offended. “I’m an angel, babes, could you not tell by the halo and wings?”

“Well you look like a demon," she replied.

Adam scoffed indignantly. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck you! Who are you and why have you been following me?”

“I’m Adam. Like, first man ever, Adam.”

“Wow, I’m so impressed.”

“And who the fuck are you, bitch?”

“Shouldn’t you know that since you’ve been following me?”

Adam was seething. “Yeah well I didn’t give enough of a shit to remember your name when Sera told me.”

The hybrid narrowed her eyes. Adam narrowed his. The attitude on this bitch! He hadn’t seen such life in her in the weeks he’d been watching her. He definitely didn’t enjoy seeing her come to life like this. Totally not (he did).

“Well you might as well tell me cause you’re stuck with me now that you can see me.” Adam smirked.

She huffed. “(Name). I’m (Name). Why am I stuck with you?”

“Because my job is to follow you, babe, orders from the Seraphim herself.”

“But why?”

Adam thought about fucking with her for a moment, before spitting out the truth. “Because you’re a Cambion, and Cambions are dangerous.”

(Name) blinked at him. “The fuck is a Cambion?”

“A demon/human love child.”

“What, so you’re saying one of my parents is a demon and I’m like, half a demon?”

“Basically.”

They stood in silence for a moment while (Name) processed this information.

“So,” Adam broke the silence. “What’s for dinner?”

[ma1dita]

trouble always finds me

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 1.7k 

summary: (pre-established relationship) The one where he could tell you were trouble from the day he met you. Luke’s perspective on trouble & how they first met! think trouble’s origin story (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

warnings: none, fluff? Mr. D being a clueless dad lol also guys they’re 14 here

a/n: welcome back to the trouble!verse hehe i was inspired by Mr. D being a bit of a jerk to Percy so that the kid doesn’t off himself. Similar concept but with Luke after he first gets to camp— another version for why trouble!reader calls him angelface coming soon

(posted 1/19/24, erm unedited and not beta’d so forgive me in advance)

—

You were always trouble, Luke knew that from the day he met you. 

Walking into Camp Half-Blood, worn out and weary after days of trying to not become harpy food, his arm was slung protectively over Annabeth’s shoulder as they were led onto the campgrounds. So many pity-filled eyes were focused on them after hearing what happened to Thalia, but the camp seemed promising, filled with other demigods who can resonate with what they’ve experienced. Luke thought it was too good to be true, but anything’s better in comparison to the streets they came from. You, however, looked at them in interest from afar, a playful expression on a pretty face watching their every move like him and Annie were shiny new toys to play with.

He was so sure something was off with you. 

Had to be, from the deranged glimmer in your eye that would appear when something bad would happen at Camp. He’d seen it in action a couple of times before you set your sights on him— setting off fireworks during capture the flag, replacing salt with sugar in the kitchens, cutting Mr. D’s hair in his sleep; all of this causing campers and staff alike to run amok and figure out who to penalize. Each time he’d find you enjoying how it all played out, excitement brimming on the cusp of revealing yourself as the culprit as he watched you bite your tongue. But as a mischievous kid himself, he wondered why you hid it. You preferred to orchestrate the show, to make a spectacle for your personal entertainment, and with a smile too soft to be considered guilty, you were a convincing actress. 

The other campers in 11 told him you’d been unclaimed for half a year now, keeping to yourself and making a safe haven within the busy cabin. You were a klutz to say the least, bringing chaos to Camp Half-Blood with a cool disposition, and you hardly seemed interested the one time Luke tried to say hi as he took the bunk next to yours. 

So why the hell wouldn’t you lay off of him?

At first it was small, shoulder bumps and raised eyebrows whenever he piped up in a conversation. That, he could deal with. Luke’s a tough guy, having gone through more than a typical 14-year old would. 

But then it just got annoying.

Glitter in his shampoo, his laundry load dyed purple, and shoelaces knotted together to make him stumble— things meant to be more of an inconvenience rather than an actual problem. Luke wasn’t sure what to make of it, or what to tell you. No one wants to be the new kid creating trouble, but you didn’t seem to have a problem with that.

Maybe you were a Hermes kid like him, but of that, Luke wasn’t so easily convinced—months of living in 11 would mean you’d learn all of the tricks of the trade, so it couldn’t automatically mean that you were related (a part of him also hoped you weren’t be half-siblings, or else the fact he couldn’t stop thinking of you would be slightly awkward). Perhaps a child of Apollo? When you weren’t being difficult, he’s seen you sprinkled in sunlight, usually humming a tune under your breath. Yesterday it was a song from the Sound of Music, and though he only remembers bits of a memory from a movie night with his mom years ago, he put his combat gear on slower just to hear you finish the song. 

Whatever you were, it was bound to be troublesome.

—

At this point in life, Luke hasn’t had many comforts while on the run. To him there’s no such thing as action without reason, without meaning.  Five years of running and not looking back makes this son of Hermes realize that he hasn’t had a chance to take a breath until he got here. It’s hard to let down your guard when you’re always supposed to be keeping watch.

He wriggles under his covers trying to relax himself before bed, purple socks sticking out of the scrappy hand-me-down blanket, and he hears a small giggle from the bed next to his. Luke shifts his weight onto his side, eyes darting to your direction in the quiet of the dark cabin.

“Nice socks.”

He blinks. Were you talking to him? His toes wiggle playfully, prompting more of your melodious laughter as he chews at his lip before he responds.

“Guess I’m getting used to them.”

“You’re getting used to a lot of things around here. That’s good,” you whisper, and thinks he can see you concocting something sinister in that brain of yours—he’s on the edge of the mattress hanging onto your every word as he realizes this is the most you’ve spoken to him.

“You did this. Why?” he says, more of a statement than a question. Why would you go out of your way for someone like him?

“Are you mad about it? Luke, right?” you mutter, a calm expression on your face shrouded in moonlight, and for a second he wonders if you actually don’t know his name until he notices the upwards quirk of your lip. 

Luke catches himself then, and the realization hits him like a blow to the chest— he’s not angry at all. If anything, he hasn’t had the time to feel anything negative with the antics you’ve been pulling. You’ve proven to be quite the distraction to his circumstances, and he can’t remember the last time he’s thought about Thalia or his mom since he got here. The melancholy falls on his countenance like a better-fitting blanket than the one he has on, and your words pull him from his thoughts before they can suffocate him again.

“Sorry about your sister. I lost someone right before I got here too. My mom.” 

This, he can tell, is not acting. Your eyes flicker to a polaroid strapped in the space underneath the top bunk above your head, two blurry figures huddled together in a memory.

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what to say. In the silence that follows, he swallows audibly. Everyone’s been worried about Annabeth, including himself that he hadn’t even thought of his own emotions being on display for everyone to see. Luke never thought you of all people would notice.

You shrug, “S’not your fault. I know when people are acting though. If you know I’m the one who’s been starting shit, why haven’t you told anyone?”

Luke almost laughs at that, a rough exhale leaving his lungs as he watches your hands clutch your quilt.

“It’s pretty entertaining, I guess. You’re annoying, but I don’t mind it. Kept my mind off of things.”

He watches you smile in the shadows now, and it shines—all lips, teeth, and sheer mirth that makes his chest feel a little lighter. A real smile from you, one that doesn’t hide your true intentions.

“I’m glad. Mine too.” 

The next thing you do confuses him further, but from what he’s gathered you’re always full of surprises. You chuck your quilt across the space between your bunks, and the end of it smacks him in the face as he grunts.

“Here. Keep it,” you chuckle a bit loudly, the both of you hearing a Shhhhh… from somewhere in the dark cabin.

“What… Why? Are we friends now?” Luke mumbles jokingly, inhaling the soft scent of berries and fresh linen. His purple laundry load smelled like this too.

“No.”

“Then why are you giving me your stuff?” he says, but still curls up underneath the handmade quilt stitched from memories of a past life, of motherly love and gentle hands. He doesn’t have anything like this, so he settles into this feeling of comfort instead, even if it wasn’t his memory to hold. You go quiet at the sight of him, eyes fluttering and chin tucked into the pink and purple fabric, and he looks as soft as a normal 14 year old boy should.

“It’s getting boring in here. Gonna have to change it up soon, I think,” you mumble, turning away and shutting your eyes before he can say anything else.

—

The next day, you get caught putting a month’s supply of bubble bath into the lake, but Luke’s convinced you did it on purpose. All of camp is standing on the shore, watching you wave at them from a river tube as Chiron and Mr. D yell at you in exasperation—finally revealing yourself as the troublemaker they’ve been searching for.

“Get on the beach this instant, young lady! You have no idea how much trouble you’ve put us through!” Mr. D’s voice echoes across the lake, his immortal form almost filtering through his frustration before you laugh in his face, unthreatened by the Olympian.

“Good thing I get it from you. Hello, dad!”

Jaws drop as everyone turns to look at Mr. D, the realization hitting his face as he points at you, his brain moving a mile a minute. Though you resemble your mother, your actions are all him. You revel in the grand reaction, looking up to see a purple thyrsus surrounded by grape leaves float over your head.

“Nice outfit, kid. I don’t think purple is your color. She do that to you too?” Mr. D notes Luke’s wine colored cargos and socks clashing against the harsh orange of his shirt as he pushes past him, scratching his head at the idea of another kid. Poor guy said two was the limit in a lifetime and he gets a grinning teenage girl who dares him to do something about it. He hasn’t raised a lot of girls….

“I don’t know. I guess trouble always seems to find me,” Luke laughs lightly, watching kids of all ages jump into the bubbly lake water happily. The glowing ember of his eyes are relaxed for the first time in a while— an inviting flame catching your own as you stare at him from across the sudsy water. Trouble, he thinks, a smile settling onto his face—how fitting.

He’s spent a lot of time running. But perhaps this time, he’s finding reasons to want to stay.

—

"After all, we are nothing more or less than what we choose to reveal." - Sylvia Plath

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[filmmakerdreamst]

P.J.Hogan's 'Peter Pan' is still an underrated masterpiece 20 years later

Peter Pan is a live-action fantasy adventure film directed by P. J. Hogan that reimagines the classic story of Peter and Wendy. The screenplay was written by P. J. Hogan and Michael Goldenberg and was released in cinemas in December 2003. The screenplay is based on the 1904 play Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Upand the classic novel Peter Pan by J.M.Barrie, which was originally published under the title Peter and Wendy.

The film tells the story of a young Edwardian girl, Wendy Darling (Rachel Hurd-Wood) and her two younger brothers John and Michael. On the night she is told she must grow up, a wild, fairy-like boy called Peter Pan (Jeremy Sumpter) flies into her room with his high-maintenance fairy Tinkerbell. When he learns that she tells stories, he whisks Wendy and her two brothers away to a magical Island called Neverland — where you supposedly don’t “grow up” — so that she can mother his henchmen, the Lost Boys. There she fights pirates led by the evil Captain Hook (Jason Isaacs), meets mermaids, dances with fairies, falls in love and grows up.

I have strong family connections tied to Peter and Wendy and J.M.Barrie. My great, great uncle Nico was one of the sons of Sylvia Llewelyn Davies'. He and his other brothers "the Lost Boys" were adopted by J.M.Barrie; which ultimately inspired him to write Peter Pan. Nico’s daughter Laura — my cousin — who I met for the first time a few years ago, told me that she was flown to Australia for the filming of P.J. Hogan’s Peter Pan because she was J.M.Barrie’s goddaughter. She told me that she was thrilled with the cast, especially Jason Isaacs, who played Captain Hook and Mr Darling. She also mentioned that Jeremy Sumpter, who played Peter Pan, was a lovely boy. However, she said she was very surprised and sad that the film wasn’t a big success as she really liked what they did with the story. I have loved the fairytale of Peter Pan from a young age, and learning that I am literally part of the family that inspired the story was very exciting and I’ve only begun to internalise it more as I’ve grown older.

When I was in my mid-twenties, I was diagnosed with a high level of Autism. One of my main symptoms was labelled “ageless”, which in simple terms means that one half of me is still a child that I can’t mentally leave behind. I can’t do many things that most adults can do, such as pay bills, drive a car, look after my own well being etc. I flap my hands when I get excited. I bounce. I sometimes speak in a baby voice. I overcommit to things I enjoy. I admit that it was hard to come to terms with the diagnosis when I first received it. But over time, I’ve come to believe that the two can coexist in a healthy way. I believe that I am an adult who is able to develop and grow while still carrying the child within me, and that this is not seen as a bad thing. I think Peter and Wendy can be seen as a reflection of that.

I was first introduced to P.J. Hogan’s Peter Pan a few years after it was released (I was maybe nine or ten years old), and I absolutely loved it. It wasn’t only one of my favourite film adaptations, but one of my favourite movies of all time. What surprised me most about the film at that age was how dark and gruesome it was, and full of this underlying sexual tension that I hadn’t expected at all from Peter Pan. Even today, this film still has a special place in my heart. It is made with so much passion and love for the original text that I can automatically put myself back into the story. After watching the film again as an adult, I almost immediately opened my copy of Peter and Wendy and started reading. I would even go so far as to say that I prefer the film to the book. However, part of me wishes that the age rating had been set much higher, as the dark and gruesome moments were some of the strongest parts of the film adaptation. This is possibly why some critics and viewers had difficulty categorising the film at the time.

However, I often consider P.J.Hogan’s Peter Pan to be the same equivalent as Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice. (which came out a few years later in 2005, starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen). The film moves at the same dreamlike pace. It is light, dark, colourful and deeply romantic.

I also often prefer P.J.Hogan’s Peter Pan to the 1953 Disney Animation of the same name, even though it’s the version I grew up with and liked. I find it much less straightforward and innocent. Also, the 2003 film is much closer to the original source material, which I loved reading as a teenager, and to J.M.Barrie’s original vision. The film manages to reflect the same intellectual subtext and depth of the novel while retaining the whimsy and magic.

Magical Realism

Peter Pan was a perfect blend of fantasy and realism. A lot of media these days focus too much on “realism” and make their sets and CGI look bland and washed out. It’s a common myth these days that no one likes whimsy anymore; it’s somehow seen as too childish. As a result, much of the magic of fantasy is lost. But in this Peter Pan, a lot of colour was used in the set design and cinematography. Everything was so brightly and colourfully lit. Most fantasy films these days, including the new live-action adaptation of Peter Pan and Wendy on Disney+, are all so gloomy and dark. You almost have to light up the screen to make out the actors’ facial expressions or what’s happening in the scene. But this film understands that a viewer who watches fantasy wants to be swept away, but also wants a certain amount of believability. Although the film contained a good amount of darkness, it did not shy away from being cartoonish either (which I think was partly inspired by the Disney animation), i.e. characters blushing or bouncing on the clouds.

The design of Neverland was breathtaking. I think the CGI, although criticised by some, made the island and creatures look more dreamy and fairytale-like. It was a good combination of CGI for the landscapes and real backdrops for the jungle, so there was enough magic and believability to transport the viewer into the story. A bright colour palette was used for the landscapes, while down-to-earth colours such as browns and greens were used on the ground, such as in “The Lost Boys Hide” under the tree, to give a sense of realism. The costume department also reflected this, from the majestic reds and blacks of the pirates, to the earthly colours of blue and red for the Native Americans, to the natural greens and browns of the Lost boys. I noticed that the colours in Neverland were used as a contrast to the Edwardian London back home, which is realistic but dull compared to the island.

One aspect I liked was that the lighting on Neverland always changed depending on the mood of the scene- unlike the naturalistic lighting on Earth. It was almost as if the island was a living being. For example, when there was a fight on the ship, the lighting was red. When Peter took Wendy to the mermaids, who were scary and frightening, the lighting was dark and blue. This created a surrealistic atmosphere, almost like a fever dream or a kind of nightmare.

Sometimes the environment changed depending on Peter Pan’s mood in the respective scene. I particularly liked how Peter Pan influenced the weather on Neverland. Just his mere presence when he flew to the island changed the entire atmosphere in an instant. His feelings also determined whether it was summer or winter. In other words, its suggested in the film that the longer he has been there, the more the island has become a part of him, so that he can no longer leave it. It’s almost as if the island has transformed him into a magical being.

The exuberant musical score by James Newton Howard: I’ll never forget that. I think that was one of the first movies I saw where I actively noticed the music because it was so brilliant. Even today, the “Flying” soundtrack still gives me goosebumps. It perfectly encapsulates the whimsy, joy and imagination of Peter and Wendy. I loved that there were always different variations. One of my favourite pieces from the movie is ‘Fairy Dance’, which starts off cheerfully and moves up and down depending on the characters’ conflict/what they’re saying in the scene.

Cast

The cast of this film adaptation was magnificent. The look of all the actors not only matched the book description, but also the mood, especially with the Darling family. One of the standouts was Olivia Williams as Mrs Darling. She captured the gentleness of the character perfectly. I also loved the new addition of Aunt Millicent, played by Lynn Redgrave. She fitted into the story so well that I was surprised not to find her in the novel. She had the perfect amount of ridiculousness and hilarity that suited J.M.Barrie’s style.

One particular member of the cast we can probably all agree on that was perfect, was Jason Isaacs, who played both Wendy’s father Mr Darling and Captain Hook. He was certainly a star in this film for sure. I just can not think of anyone who could play him better, especially in a live-action film adaptation. He was particularly good in the role of Captain Hook. When I first saw the film as a child, I did not know that Captain Hook and Mr Darling were played by the same person until my dad pointed it out to me because he was so good. I loved how they portrayed Wendy’s dad as shy and reserved, as opposed to Captain Hook who was flamboyant and sinister. Mirror versions of each other in different realities — that’s a common theme throughout the film. As Captain Hook, Jason Isaacs perfectly captured the essence of viciousness, deviousness and brutality that was necessary for the character. But also the deep loneliness and frustration behind it all. I have seen a quote that was supposedly cut from the film (and never should have been) that provides so much context for his hatred of Peter Pan:

“Imagine a lion in a cage and into that cage flies a butterfly. If the lion was free, it would pay no heed to such creature. But the lion is not free…and so the butterfly drives him slowly insane.” — Captain Hook

They did a really good job of showing how Peter Pan and Captain Hook are mirror images of each other. Peter Pan is a child who secretly wants to be an adult, while Captain Hook is an adult who secretly wants to be a child. Both fight each other for different reasons, but the goal is the same. For example, there is a great scene towards the end where Captain Hook uses his wits to defeat Peter in a fight. Here it becomes clear that there is deep symbolism for the inevitability of adulthood and the loss of childhood. Jason Isaacs really showed off his acting talent here. I liked that he wasn’t portrayed as a “dumb villain”, which he easily could have been.

There were also some great performances among the adults. Most notable was Richard Briers as the ‘pirate’’ Smee. But the child actors, especially the lost boys, really held the movie together. Their solid performances made it so believable that the island was ruled by children. I loved Theodore Chester as Slightly. He was very charming and funny in that role.

Another member of the cast I thought was brilliant was Carsen Grey, an indigenous actress of Haida descent, who played Princess Tiger Lily. I liked that they let her speak her ancestral language, Mohican, in this film. Although this film came out in the early 2000s, it is the only version of Peter and Wendy in which Native Americans are neither erased nor white-washed even though the representation is far from great. Considering how they’re treated in the novel, it’s perhaps for the best overall that they limited some of their scenes. However, I liked how firey she was in this adaptation and not the damsel in distress she was portrayed as in the Disney animation. I think it was a wise decision to cut the infatuation she had with Peter Pan, as it was really just one line in the book that would have added unnecessary drama, and all in all, it would have fallen short if all the female characters were jealous of each other.

They also downplayed Tinkerbell’s jealousy in this regard, portraying it more as her trying to protect Peter Pan’s youth from romantic advances, as hinted at in the novel, and also being sad that Wendy is attracting all of Peter Pan’s attention. Ludivine Sagnier has, in my opinion, succeeded well in making Tinkerbell equally repulsive and endearing, as befits the character.

Wendy Darling

Rachel Hurd-Wood was the perfect cast for the role of Wendy Darling.I was actually surprised to learn that this was her first film role ever, because she was a natural. She effortlessly possessed the same caring nature and charm that makes Wendy so endearing. She is exactly how I imagine the character when I read the story. When people talk about Peter and Wendy, they always mention Tinkerbell, Pan or Hook, but personally I am always drawn to Wendy. She is the real heroine of the story. After all, she was the main reason for Peter to bring her and her brothers to Neverland.

What always amazes me about Wendy’s role in the story is the fact that Wendy literally doesn’t spend much time being a “child” in the time she spends in Neverland. When she’s not escaping death at the hands of mermaids or pirates, she acts as a mother to the ‘lost boys’ and her brothers. She asks herself what she really wants from life. In comparison, she was allowed to behave more like a child at home in Edwardian London. Neverland is not a place where you never grow up. It’s the place where she chooses to grow up. Many people have described Neverland as a manifestation of Wendy’s subconscious as a result of trauma, and I’ve never found that to be more true in this adaptation.

One of the reasons why I think P.J. Hogan’s Peter Pan is the best adaptation of the novel is the fact that the film revolves around Wendy’s coming of age. I loved that they expanded on her love of storytelling and also gave her a tomboyish streak. Instead of just being on the sidelines, she’s able to get involved and fight pirates while retaining many of her feminine traits such as her maternal instincts and romantic feelings for Peter. She makes mistakes and sometimes gets dragged into things she knows she shouldn’t do. But in the end, she triumphs.

In many film adaptations of Peter and Wendy that I have seen, Wendy is either only present in passing or not at all. Characters like Peter Pan, Captain Hook and Tinkerbell always take centre stage, which I think is a strange decision as they are part of Wendy’s story and not the other way around. Peter Pan is meant to metaphorically represent the childhood she does not want to give up (which is why the character is always played by a woman in the original play, as he is a mirror image of Wendy). And Captain Hook (J.M.Barrie also wanted him to be played by the same actor as Mr Darling) represents the dark side of her father, or rather what she imagines adulthood to be. This is particularly emphasised in this film adaptation because he is an important factor in her being told to grow up. The father, the concept of adulthood, and Peter Pan, her childhood, are at constant war with each other.

“You’re not supposed to be like Peter, who kept every good and bad aspect of being a child and can’t tell right from wrong. You’re not supposed to be Hook, either. He let go of everything childish and loving about him and became bitter and evil..You’re supposed to fall in the middle, to hold onto the things about childhood that make it beautiful — the wonder, the imagination, the innocence — while still growing up and learning morality and responsibility. You’re not supposed to be Hook. You’re not supposed to be Peter Pan. You’re supposed to be Wendy Darling.” — @maybe-this-time

The 2023 film Peter Pan and Wendy took a different approach, by making Wendy a kind of powerhouse who always saved the day and outshone Peter Pan overall. In my opinion, the 2003 film adaptation emphasised very well that Wendy really is the yin and yang. She's allowed to be romantic, be rescued by others and at the same time determine her own destiny and stand up for herself. Because that’s what her journey in the adaptation is all about. She is pressured by all the adults in her life to grow up. She allows herself to be seduced with the prospect of an eternal childhood by Peter Pan. Then she realises that it is not self-fulfilling. She is tempted by Captain Hook with the concept of adulthood. And finally, she finds a balance between these two extremes on her own terms. By the end of the film, Wendy has made her peace with growing up while still remaining a child at heart. That requires a certain mental strength that we should all strive for.

Peter Pan and Wendy Darling

In most adaptations of Peter and Wendy, such as Hook and Syfy’s Neverland, the focus is on the title character Peter. In the more recent film adaptation Peter Pan and Wendy, the focus is on Wendy. This film adaptation of Peter and Wendy, on the other hand, sticks more closely to the original source material, as the story focuses on Peter and Wendy’s relationship. This is perhaps the reason why I always hesitate when I watch other adaptations, because these two characters are supposed to go together. It’s definitely a relationship that can be portrayed in all sorts of ways because they are symbolically the same person.

Although there is no romance between Peter and Wendy in either the original novel or the play, Wendy quickly develops romantic feelings for Peter which, as a prepubescent child, he does not consciously reciprocate as he has no concept of love other than that of a mother’s. Although Peter cares deeply for her, he ultimately only longs for her to be the maternal figure that is missing in his life. One could go into the symbolism that Peter and Wendy are one and the same, and that this is an expression of Wendy learning to love herself. But in a literal sense, J.M.Barrie had unintentionally created this very strong potential between the two characters. And I personally feel if your'e going to make an adaptation of Peter and Wendy that potential needs to be explored in some way, even if it’s not necessarily romantic.

Hogan recognised this potential and developed the romantic elements, e.g. ‘the “thimble” from the novel, into a very real and tangible plot. In other adaptations, Peter and Wendy’s relationship is rather one-sided. But in P.J. Hogan’s film adaptation, however, it is not at all. Over the course of the film, Peter and Wendy fall deeply in love with each other.

Rachel Hurd-Wood and Jeremy Sumpter had a remarkable on-screen chemistry for young actors, which helped give the adaptation its own identity. Whenever they interacted on screen as Peter and Wendy, it was — like the glittering pixie dust of Tinkerbell — simply magical. The off-screen chemistry between the two definitely helped make the romance so believable as well. When I was younger, I didn’t like romantic subplots in family films. I personally found that they clogged up the main plot because the “romance” tended to be very one-dimensional- but Peter and Wendy in the 2003 film version were simply enchanting.

In the original novel, J.M.Barrie alludes to the possibility of a romance between the two. In the film adaptation, they go all out. Their love story was written so beautifully and profoundly, while staying true to the original text and J.M.Barrie’s themes. This made the conflict hinted at in the novel of “staying in Neverland with Peter or growing up on Earth with Wendy” even more poignant and relevant, because in reality there was only ever one option. They couldn’t find a way to have both. That made the ending even more “heartbreaking” for me as a child, because even though they had the chance to be happy together, she couldn’t give up on growing up to stay. And he couldn’t give up being a child to leave, even though it was a natural progression for him.

Peter Pan

Jeremy Sumpter delivered a fantastic performance as Peter Pan. Not only did he perfectly match the illustrations, but he also managed to perfectly capture the essence of the charismatic, mischievous little boy from the novel. What’s more, of all the versions I have seen so far, he is by far the most accurate, right down to the clothes made of skeleton leaves, the dirty fingernails, the feral mannerisms, the traumatised soul behind the charm and the downright creepy insinuations. By today’s standards, you could almost take Peter Pan for a grown man who consciously decides not to behave like this.

However, when I watch the film again as an adult, I can now understand why he has reservations about growing up in Edwardian England and would rather remain a “child” in Neverland forever. As Peter says in the film, “Would they send me to school? And then to an office?” I feel like most of us today have so many choices as we get older, but back then it was much more limited. The choices were very restricted in that “heterosexist” environment. You could only be a certain thing, and it was much harder to hold on to the pleasures of life. I can now also understand the initial reactions of Michael and John to Peter: He must have seemed scandalous to people at the time. His bright colours, his inappropriate clothing and his behaviour are repulsive to the boys, but Wendy is immediately fascinated and attracted.  I think it was a deliberate choice that he is the only character with an American accent to set him apart from the rest of the cast; to emphasise the wildness of the character and his non-conformity to the people of Edwardian London.

Another small aspect I liked was the suggestion that the Lost Boys, although they lived with Peter and obeyed his commands, lived in constant fear of him and did not worship him as in other adaptations. (A fear that is justified as Peter tries to kill them more than once in the film). What the 2003 film adaptation captured perfectly about Peter's character was: how terrible of a person he really is. Peter Pan is a hero when he goes on adventures and fights pirates. You could argue — via the quote “Leave Hook to me” (which Peter says to her in the film) — that Peter is Wendy’s split self who can fight her father (Captain Hook) for her, just like antibodies do with germs when we can’t handle them ourselves.

However, when it comes to understanding emotions, caring about others, even his henchmen, the Lost Boys, and doing anything that inconveniences him, Peter Pan is possibly as bad as Captain Hook. This makes Wendy’s decision to leave him all the more powerful. Although she was initially seduced by his adventurous life, she soon realises that his “life” of joy and adventure is not fulfilling at all. Because in reality, there is no real joy. There is no real adventure. In reality, his life is empty because it is not earned. In addition, she realises that she is gradually losing her memory of the outside world, including her parents - a sign that she is “slowly awakening from the dream”. This leads Wendy to realise that she wants more than what he can give her in Neverland (e.g. romantic love) and decides to leave. Being alive means feeling, accepting and growing. However, as long as Peter remains a boy, he can never truly be alive. Peter Pan conveyed this important message, whereas earlier film adaptations, including the Disney animation, did not.

One of the reasons why good adaptations of Peter and Wendy are so hard to come by, especially in this day and age, is not only because they adapt a performative story that exists in layers of subtext. They also work with a protagonist who doesn’t change. Who doesn’t develop in any way, neither negatively nor positively. Not even just physically, but also mentally. (Even Eli from Let the Right One In, the child vampire, changes in the course of the story). At the end of day, Peter Pan is ultimately there to serve someone else’s story. It works in a fairy tale format. But it doesn’t usually translate very well to the screen because it often leads to one-dimensional storytelling. Even if it seems so natural, it doesn’t come naturally.

However, this adaptation allows Peter Pan to grow. The writers expanded on the small aspect from the book, which is the moment when Wendy enters Peter’s life; he begins to feel emotions. Not just love. But anger. Fear. Sadness. Pain. Disgust. And above all: self-awareness. Almost like a version of puberty in condensed time, as if the change suddenly caught up with his body. When Wendy brings this up, Peter immediately rejects it out of fear. I think most of us can all relate to this when we were in the midst of growing into a young adult. We experience feelings that are scary and new, that we can’t yet fully understand or even want to. For Peter Pan, falling in love is exactly what he is afraid of: growing up and no longer being a child. This adds to an interesting conflict that arises between the two when she asks him to leave with her.

“The thing about Peter Pan is, he’s a coward. Had the chance of a lifetime and he bottled it. Just fucked off back to Neverland. All alone, forever he was, by his own hand. Poor old Wendy, she had to grow old without him.” — Skins, 6x07 “Alo”

In the original novel, the reason Wendy can’t take Peter Pan with her (apart from the fact that he refuses to grow up) is the same reason Lyra in His Dark Materials can’t take Pan — the animal manifestation of her soul — on the boat to the land of the dead. She has to split in order to grow up and leave a part of herself behind. She can’t keep both in order to move on. But that does not mean I always agree with the ending either. In which Peter remains a child and takes Wendy’s future descendants to Neverland and back to look after him. It leaves an icky aftertaste, but at least it fits in with the story J.M. Barrie wanted to tell.

Even though the adaptation conveys the same message, that Peter Pan is the manifestation of Wendy’s youth, even to the end. In this version of Peter Pan, that is no longer the case. By the end of the film, the way he holds himself is different. The way he looks wistfully through the open window and solemnly says, “To live would be an awfully big adventure,” : a sign of self-awareness, while Wendy happily reunites with her family. So much so that Tinkerbell has to pull him by the hair to stop him from joining them and reconsidering his decision. Peter is now old enough to know that he loves Wendy. Maybe he’s also mature enough to know what he’s missing, but he knows he can’t have her the way he wants, so he does the most selfless thing he’s ever done in the whole film by letting her go.

There is no such conflict at the end of the 1953 Disney animated film. Peter Pan is described by Wendy as “wonderful”. In reality, everyone else gets their happy ending, except him, because he deliberately chooses not to. Peter Pan very much turns himself into a tragic figure because he is afraid of the most natural thing in the world. He is afraid of life. And I feel like this version of the story knew that and expressed it strongly, which makes me conflicted now as an adult. I’ve seen endings like this before, where two people fall in love but do not end up together because they grow apart or they are both interested in different things, and it’s very important to reach those points in different ways. It very much reflects real life and is also reminiscent of first love. How that love never really fades. It reminds you of simple times, even when you’ve grown up and moved on. That a part of you is still at that age when you look back on it. These endings happen because people grow — which Peter Pan does not.

“Peter in the books lives in oblivious tragedy. He may suspect that he’s not fully happy, but he tends to forget about it… yet this Peter doesn’t… Wendy leaving him and growing up to be a wife of another man is his unhappy thought…It’s the loss of innocence since Peter could not forget this…It’s the process of growing up…all but confirms that Peter’s character arc in the film is one of accepting the fact he too must grow up to be happy.” —  @rex-shadao

And I think that’s the real reason why his character is both the strongest and the weakest part of the adaptation. The writers didn’t make it clear enough that Peter Pan forgets in their version of the character. In the novel, Peter Pan forgets everything automatically, which is why he can exist in this limbo of childhood and not go mad. However, as mentioned earlier, this version of Peter Pan is old enough to remember and, more importantly, to feel. Even though he is the closest to J.M. Barrie’s original vision, unlike his counterpart in the book, he is capable of evolving. That’s why the ending sometimes feels strange to me as an adult.

It was hard to say why I had a strange feeling at first, but I realised that a lot of my mixed feelings stemmed from having seen the film adaptation fresh after reading the novel. Since Peter Pan fully reciprocates Wendy’s love in this version, he ends up being a different character than in the book, which is why I now disagree with them keeping the original ending instead of having him grow up with Wendy. It would symbolise that childhood can co-exist with adulthood, that you don’t have to leave a part of yourself behind. That you can be your true and complete self if you find the balance between the two extremes.

The original ending still works however, in all its bittersweetness. I know what it means and understand what it stands for. Wendy basically says goodbye to her childhood and promises never to forget it. There’s a reason it made such an impression on me when I was younger. It could just be because I’m trying to pick up all the pieces of my broken heart from the floor. But personally, as an adult, I just find it weaker compared to the novel. Sometimes I like to imagine an ending to this version of the story where Peter Pan comes back, having quickly realised that he has outgrown Neverland, but doesn’t meet Wendy again until they are both much older, at a time when Wendy is coming to terms with womanhood and the idea of marriage. Or she even meets his real earth counterpart (if we were to delve into the psychology of Neverland being Wendy’s dream). And their relationship is subjected to the natural test of time and growth.

Peter Pan is an almost perfect adaptation. It matches the humour, the tone and the vision of J.M.Barrie. But I can certainly understand why the film didn’t do so well at the box office. In the month it was released, there was an unfair amount of competition, namely the film Lord of the Rings — The Return of the King. And as an adult, I can now understand why it’s not the film people think of or remember when it comes to Peter Pan adaptations. And it’s not just because it doesn’t fit the elfish, jolly trickster persona that Disney has created.

The film adaptation suffers more from what it doesn’t do — such as maintaining a stable tone and consistent editing — than from what it does. It’s one of those films that would have benefited from being much longer. That way, the inconsistent tone and some of the rushed parts of the adaptation would be much more balanced. It feels like it was missing an extra twenty minutes. For example, the film is narrated by an older version of Wendy, but without the deleted ending where it becomes properly clear that it’s her telling the story to tie everything together, the ending feels a little abrupt. Say what you will about Tim Burton’s adaptation of the Series of Unfortunate Events, but the audience could see where the film’s narration was coming from the whole time. I think if they knew the alternate ending wasn’t going to work (that scene is a classic example of something working well in the novel but not in the film), they should have removed the narrator altogether with the deleted ending and adjusted the film accordingly. They should have extended some scenes so that parts of the film weren’t rushed, such as the introduction, and the story would have been left more up to interpretation as there was no voiceover throughout.

Despite its weaknesses, P.J.Hogan’s Peter Pan is still an underrated masterpiece 20 years later. It is an irresistible film that captivates and warms the heart. The film adaptation has certainly stood the test of time, staying true to the original while adding its own flavour to the story. It is full of magic, wonder and heart. It was clearly made by people who loved the origins of the story and explored where they came from, while also digging deep into the text to reshape the character arcs in a fresh and meaningful way. They succeed in capturing J.M.Barrie’s original message, which is that growing up is a natural progression of life, but that doesn’t mean leaving childhood behind entirely. That it is important to maintain a healthy balance between the two: Taking responsibility while appreciating the joys of life. From the vibrant colour palette to the goosebump-inducing music to the solid performances and gorgeous chemistry between Jeremy Sumpter and Rachel Hurd-Wood, my love for this adaptation will never end, no matter how old I am.

[firstkanaphans]

I know this post is only for like two people, but I’m going to make it anyway. So, my obsession with Dead Friend Forever finally reached critical levels and I resorted to binge-watching The Hidden Character just to get more content. For those that don’t know, The Hidden Character (which they literally call “THC”) was the reality show Be On Cloud used to cast DFF. It is bad. Like really bad. And not in a it’s-so-bad-it’s-good-type way. It’s one of the most exploitative pieces of media I have ever watched. I walked into it with a favorable view of BOC, Mile, Apo, and Pond (the CEO), and walked out of it hating all of them.

A small collection of things that happened over the 11-episode run:

Everyone was told that they had to share every single aspect of their life with the viewers or they would be eliminated. And, in fact, the first person eliminated was told that it was because he wasn’t being open enough with the audience. They filmed these boys—one of whom was only seventeen at the time—talking explicitly about their sex lives. Which is, of course, fine to talk about. It’s not fine to air it on television! Even some of the games themselves contained sexually suggestive content (i.e. Which do you prefer "eating" with—your hands or your mouth? If you were to cheat on your significant other, would it be just sex or a full-blown affair?)

During the first part of the show, everyone had a secret that the other players were supposed to guess. One of the player’s secret was that he used to be homophobic. (Questionable casting for a company that only hires men, but I digress). He was praised for having changed his mind. In contrast, JJay’s secret was that he was raised in an abusive household and had once hit his father. Pond crucified the poor guy for this. He made him sit there in front of the whole cast sobbing and apologize for hitting his dad who was an abusive asshole.

After the first half of the show—which served absolutely no purpose at all—we finally move onto the acting portion. This is, after all, supposed to be a talent competition. The judges were so mean. Especially Apo. He was like the Simon Cowell of BOC. There was no constructive component to their criticism. The fact that any of these people are still acting is honestly unbelievable. I would have gone home and cried myself to sleep and then never stepped foot on a stage again.

At one point, each of the groups was assigned a scene from KinnPorsche to act out (because BOC very clearly owns no other IP). One of the pairs was given the scene where Porsche gives Kinn a handjob in the bathroom. I wish I was kidding. 

The judges constantly told the contestants to make their scenes feel new and different but any time the actors actually tried to change anything, they complained it was “too” different and the original script was already perfect so who were they to think they could create something better. Once again, Apo and Mile, the original actors of these scenes, are the ones judging them! Like of course they like their version better. What is even happening??

And finally, the whole fucking thing was rigged for Ta to win. Like don’t get me wrong, I love Ta and I think he did a great job, but he was the only one who came into that competition with a built-in fanbase and the winner was chosen by popular vote.

It was all just…baffling. Especially from a company that claims to be trying to change the industry. Like if you want the industry to stop being so exploitative to its actors, maybe start with yourself? It also makes those condescending “how dare you watch our shows just for the NC scenes” press releases they do every week even more annoying.

I have no clue what the reaction to this show was while it was airing but god I hope they never do it again. It literally makes me feel so weird watching DFF now. I feel like those poor kids are being held hostage. Maybe CEO Pond’s been the one under the mask the whole time 🔪

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

BFSS vs. MYATB

I had some Thoughts(TM) after finishing “Blooming Flowers, Silent Sorrow” and thought I’d put them out into the universe.

I’m definitely glad that I read the book and plan to start “Jinbao Marries a Wife” after the extra episodes air. That being said, this is nevertheless one of the rare occasions where I actually preferred the show to the novel. I have already rewatched the series more times than I care to admit publicly, but I don’t really see myself reading the book again unless an official English translation is released to see the approved wording and whether anything was left out of the translation I read.

For anyone who plans to read and wants to avoid spoilers, I’ll hide the rest below the cut. If you loved the book, no worries—this won’t be a negative review!

The Story

I’m extremely impressed that the story is basically the same and, in parts where it isn’t, maintains full fidelity to the original plot and characters. Like MDZS and The Untamed, there were some plot points that got shuffled around in order to suit the medium of television rather than written narrative—and only twelve episodes of television, at that—but it didn’t alter the essence of the story or even the overarching plot at all. Some events were consolidated where it made sense (ex., finding Zongzheng Yuzhan’s dahlia and escaping with Xiaoyu), and others were fragmented in a manner that allowed us more time to get to know the characters (ex., Xiaobao delivering the medicine and their intimate moment in episode three being at two different times). Even Xiaobao’s illness, which was shortened to the spring rather than the following autumn, was still written and portrayed in such a way that you really felt the passage of time and how excruciating it could be when finding the dahlias before their window passed was at the fore of everyone’s minds.

There are a few points, however, where I feel like the show was able to add something to the narrative that I found I missed when reading the book, while I didn’t encounter anything while reading that I really wished had made it into the show. To be honest, given how few episodes they had to tell this story and how important pacing was as a result, that really surprised me. Here are some things that come to mind:

Toning down the non-con elements. While the show depicts those moments as almost more of a non-con initiation transforming into something more tacitly consensual as it progressed (or dubious consent due to drinking or drugging), the book really stuck to the non-con focus of their interactions. I was surprised how long it remained that way, as well as how much more Huai’en pushed it by trying to initiate things after the betrayal and poisoning. I know a lot of that is due to the medium—in a show of this nature, I’d have been more surprised if they’d kept it the same. It’s just something I preferred about how it was depicted in the show and felt made the romance a little more believable as it evolved so quickly.

More conversations between Xiaobao and Huai’en. As with the last point, it made the budding romance more believable for me, not to mention adding that extra bit of heartbreak when Huai’en betrayed Xiaobao. In the book, he doesn’t mention anything about his family history or his father after Jin Bao’s asthma crisis; much of what Xiaobao learns about Huai’en doesn’t come up until the latter is already gone. Sharing the truths (or what Huai’en thought were the truths) of his past added to the half-truths of what he’s doing in Jiangnan created a much deeper sense of manipulation for me and added to the weight of both what he does in episode six as well as how he still tries to keep the Jins alive in the aftermath.

The overall character growth. I’ll put more on this in the characters section, but I was left feeling a little disappointed at the end of the book in a way I wasn’t when I finished the show. It’s not that the growth was bad or missing, just that it didn’t feel as deep as the show for me. At the end of MYATB, Xiaobao is more mature and mindful of what his family needs and his own responsibilities in making that happen; in BFSS, he’s mostly acting like a young master again, gallivanting around with Huai’en and bemoaning how useless he can be. In MYATB, Huai’en grows to care about more than just Xiaobao, even though Xiaobao is still his true north; in BFSS, he’s seriously considering killing Xiaoyu out of jealousy in the last few chapters while rescuing her. In MYATB, Su Yin is angry at the situation, not with Xiaobao, and eventually comes to terms with the idea that Xiaobao has matured and can be trusted to make his own choices; in BFSS, we don’t really see the closure to that disagreement, which was one of my favorite scenes in the finale. Again, nothing wrong with how the book portrayed things, but I felt there was a certain growth in these characters in the show that I’d have liked to see mirrored there.

Xue Tong’en’s ubiquitous presence. She’s startlingly absent in the book while her presence in the show seems to be the backdrop to everything. Zongzheng Yuzhan’s obsession and even madness are palpable in the show, and his strange hatred for yet attachment to Huai’en is especially moving. All of that was absent in the book except for a couple of mentions in the overall narration and Zongzheng Yuzhan’s unwillingness to relinquish Xiaoyu. I just didn’t feel it like I did while watching MYATB.

Their strange but heartwarming little found family. My jaw dropped to see Zuoying and Youying peace out during the final battle, leaving Huai’en to fend for himself, and Zhaocai have an off-screen love interest he was determined to marry before he, too, caught a case of bisexuality. (His sentiment, not mine.) No tearful farewells after a year of huddling together for survival? No beautiful little scene of Huai’en’s two shadows keeping him alive until help arrived? No Zhaocai-Xiaoyu tag-teaming to interrupt Xiaobao and Huai’en at every turn? Don’t get me wrong—the two of them going off on their romantic road-tripping was satisfying, but… Well, as someone who sees platonic and romantic relationships as equally important, I was a little sad to see that it’s just…them.

First, the raid; next, the cure. Having Xiaobao’s remedy come last made Huai’en’s journey feel like there were higher stakes for me. In the book, it’s like tying up a loose end—“bring back Xiaoyu, and I’ll fully forgive you.” In the show, Huai’en gets to see what’s at stake and can make the conscious decision to inconvenience and further endanger himself by taking Xiaoyu away. He knows Xiaobao still loves him and has to just sit there helplessly while he continues to go through episodes that leave him unconscious for hours or days; he has to leave without saying goodbye, with no prompting from Xiaobao to bring Xiaoyu back or ultimatums on his forgiveness. And if he failed? In the show, that’s it for Xiaobao; in the book, it’s just whether his sister comes home, which Huai’en isn’t as bothered about even if he’s willing to die for it. For me, it read as a little more…transactional in the novel, so it wasn’t quite as emotionally stirring. Plus, waiting until later to heal Xiaobao meant Su Yin and Huai’en had to work together after everything that happened between them, which may have gone a long way towards that reconciliation I mentioned.

Li Gongxiang. …That’s it. ‘Nuff said.

All the little things that made the characters more real. Obviously, visual mediums are going to fill in personalities in ways that written narratives can’t, but MYATB did so in such a way that I deeply missed those details when they weren’t there. Zhaocai and Jinbao’s odd sleeping arrangements. Xiaobao and the dancer…and the guy in the restaurant… Shaoyu coming back to stake his claim only to get out-bratted by Xiaobao. Youying royally screwing up and putting the Jins on alert, necessitating an in-universe convoluted plot to make it seem like a random jianghu misunderstanding. None of it was necessary, no, but it was fun and made me care more about the characters as I watched. The only moment like this in the book that really stood out to me was Su Yin tickling Xiaobao into submission, which was honestly amazing. In any case, adding depth to the supporting characters that wasn’t there in the book added more to the main characters as well, so I missed those small details as I read.

The Characters

I know it seems like I covered that already, but there were a couple of specifics that really stood out to me regarding character choices and personalities in the book compared to the show. As with the story, there wasn’t much I felt hadn’t been incorporated from the book, while there were elements from the show that I did miss seeing as I read. Overall, I thought the show did a fantastic job of taking who the characters were on a fundamental level in the book and enhancing them with certain narrative choices.

Huai’en: I am unspeakably grateful for whoever decided to age him up to 20. It facilitated the conversations he had with Xiaobao that deepened their relationship and made the romance more believable. With that added maturity, his cold manipulation makes a lot of sense for his character rather than the angry and violent outbursts that the teenage Huai’en in the book was prone to. Even in MYATB, Huai’en experienced a few of those, but they only came at pivotal moments and, as a result, had more meaning to me. (Note: not morally right, but still meaningful.) On another note, I was mourning the loss of his scene with the emperor as I read. The majority was still there, namely the blood test, dahlia, and refusing his title. However, exonerating the Jins was a huge moment that contributed to his reconciliation with Xiaobao and their ability to live happily later. For me, it was more moving to see him take that initiative in the show rather than have it offered to him as an incentive for providing information that could free Prince Shen later in the book.

Xiaobao: …It’s the word “lecherous.” I just can’t get past it! In the show, we’re made aware that he’s frequented brothels in the past, and no further details are given. His attempts to woo “Miss Zheng” are slightly sleazy, but they hardly count as “lecherous,” which I really liked. It’s more of a wide-eyed “she could kick my ass in any context and I’d thank her for it” situation than…well, “lecherous.” (Nope, still can’t get past it even when I use it.) With an aged-up Huai’en, I think that having Xiaobao be more of an adorable wannabe player matched a bit better. He was still that way in the book, but the sexual element was a lot more prevalent (namely trying to switch positions), while MYATB moved him past that very quickly.

Su Yin: As I mentioned above, I really mourned the loss of their closure. In the show, we see a Su Yin who goes through hell trying to avenge Xiaobao only to learn that he needs to take a step back and trust that Xiaobao can take care of himself. He isn’t that same spoiled young master who needs Su Yin to constantly come to his rescue anymore by the end, and Su Yin has seen Huai’en’s sincerity even if he will never be able to forgive Huai’en’s indiscretions himself. Su Yin is very similar in much of the book, but I felt that their roads diverged some after Xiaobao went to warn Huai’en about the trap at Chifeng Cliff. In BFSS, we never really see him get over that, and his anger is truly at Xiaobao—he even insults him multiple times. MYATB shows it as concern with Xiaobao’s self-esteem and seeming willingness to degrade himself, shortly followed by understanding and acceptance, however hesitant. I loved that growth for both Su Yin and their relationship, so I was quite disappointed that it wasn’t the same in the book.

Que Siming: This was a case where expectations didn’t meet reality. I’d heard from people who read the book how he was the only one rooting for Huai’en and Xiaobao, but…that wasn’t entirely the vibe I got. It was still there, as it was in the show, but perhaps it was his personality that made it a bit difficult to see. In the show, Que Siming is eccentric, self-serving, and arrogant. However, there are moments when he displays genuine emotion towards Xiaobao’s suffering and Huai’en’s fate that show he really does care, even if his taste for gossip outweighs most other things a lot of the time. In the book, he was mostly just mean. The self-serving arrogance was there, but I didn’t really see much else. It could have been lost in translation, and I’m sure I’ll have a better grasp of him after “Jinbao Marries a Wife,” but on the whole I was left feeling like he was one of the only characters who was extremely different and far more likable in the show. Props to Kou Weilong!

Xiaoyu: She is one of the other characters who felt extremely different between the two mediums, and I vastly prefer the show’s version. In the book, Xiaoyu almost didn’t even seem like a kid of only about ten. Her dialogue read like a young woman, and I have to agree with the book version of Huai’en that her feelings about Xiaobao were…uh…wow. I definitely preferred Su Yin alluding to a marriage as merely a parting shot at Huai’en. Of course, the context is important: in the book, the Jins already decided Xiaoyu would run the family business, and she was also aware of what had happened to the Xues and that she wasn’t actually a Jin. In those circumstances, it makes sense that she would have been groomed to consider this eventuality without much thought given to their brother-sister relationship beyond just always being together. Still, uh…very glad they didn’t go that route. It also meant she could be more of a child in MYATB and wage a war for Xiaobao’s attention against Huai’en without that loaded underlying meaning.

Zongzheng Yuzhan: In MYATB, he seems to have gotten an upgrade. Even more than just being an oftentimes off-screen, absentee antagonist, he was a character foil for Huai’en. We are meant to see that Huai’en’s understanding of love is twisted, as Li Gongxiang said, because his only example is his foster father’s obsessive and possessive form of love. What makes Zongzheng Yuzhan monstrous is that he can’t change. What makes Huai’en human is that he can. He could have been a monster—a beast, as Xiaobao calls him in the book multiple times—but he takes a different road. That road leads to direct conflict with Zongzheng Yuzhan and emphasizes their differences in a dramatic and captivating way. In the book, that conflict really isn’t there. Zongzheng Yuzhan very easily lets go of Huai’en being Zongzheng Yunlian’s son and urges him to be free until he comes back for Xiaoyu. Perhaps that’s the Zongzheng Yuzhan we’d have seen if Huai’en had visited him in prison, but that steady escalation of their differences until it reached a boiling point made the stakes in the second half of the show that much more impactful for me.

In all, I enjoyed BFSS. It was worth reading and did add a lot of insight into certain scenes that couldn’t possibly include dialogue, especially Xiaobao’s thoughts during poison episodes and his quieter moments as Huai’en insisted on proving what a joke Su Yin’s security was to him. (I’m imagining Su Yin with a clown nose and wig asking, “Am I a joke to you?” Yes. Yes, you are. But I love you anyway.)

Perhaps I’d feel a little differently if I’d read the book before watching the show. Having gone the opposite direction, though, I’m left astounded at how well MYATB took a book with over a hundred chapters, adapted it for the screen, enhanced both the plot and characters, and told the story in twelve episodes with time to spare for an extra fluffy epilogue. There was a lot of love put into the show, and while I did enjoy the book, that may have made all the difference for me.

[puppyluvfics]

Bad To Be Good | Lee Jooyeon

Lee Jooyeon | non idol au (kinda? it's neither here nor there) WC: 3.3k Genre: smut Summary: You gotta be bad to be good, if you know what I'm talkin' about. Mouthing off to Jooyeon never put you in positions quite like these... Warnings: Filth. I’m writing the warning list as I’m writing it but still let me know if I missed anything!! Female anatomy mentions, public teasing, choking, split play, degrading, dom/sub dynamics, bondage, unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE U TAP IT!!), pee mention but it’s not piss play (please pee after sex!!) It's like half proofread idk A/N: UM wow! I kinda… went nuts… this is just.... :) how yall doin? I... have very little to say other than good luck, i love you all, and this song was not originally based on the Poison song but it's what it became... enjoy <3

You didn’t think much of it when Jooyeon invited you to go with him to the music store. You enjoyed browsing with him, even if you didn’t know how to play much of anything, and it was always fun when he let you pick out the design on a new pack of picks. 

It wasn’t odd, either, for him to spend ample time messing around with instruments, his fingers gliding up and down the frets of guitars and basses, pressing down on keys of pianos. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself. But that’s something you loved about him, especially when it was you that he couldn’t keep his hands off of.

Today was no different; the two of you walked around a bit, his fingers lingering on instruments, display cases, amplifiers - anything he could touch, he was touching. 

“Do you ever get tired of that?” You asked, playfully. “Touching everything?” You added.

He scoffed softly with a small smirk. “I don’t see you complaining when you’re the one I’m touching.” He said, too casually. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong, but damn, he didn’t need to say it out loud like that.

“And yet, here I am, untouched.” You challenged him, hoping to elicit the same embarrassed reaction out of him.  He stopped in his tracks, eyeing you up and down, a mix of lust and courage burning behind them. 

“Don’t play with fire if you don’t want to get burned, doll.” He said, his voice low and rough. You let out a challenging chuckle, leaning against the corner where the walls met. “You won’t.” You dared him. You weren’t really sure what you were asking for, but you were more than happy to find out how he interpreted it. He cocked an eyebrow at you, sucking the air into his cheeks. He looked around cautiously, making sure that it was only the two of you before he backed you into the corner you were in, trapping you with his figure. 

“Don’t test me.” He said, his voice low and gravelly. You didn’t know when to quit. 

“I. Dare. You.” You bit back, smirking at him. He let out a soft grunt, almost a growl before his hand found its way around your throat. God, his hands were big. He pressed the sides of your neck softly. 

“What was that?” He smirked at you, watching your mouth fall open and needy whines fall into your breaths. “You dare me?” he chuckled dryly, pressing tighter. A few moments later, he let go, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb. You caught your breath softly, looking at him with wide eyes… full of desire, admiration and something else that you didn’t really understand, but you knew it made you shiver.

“Maybe I should dare you more often.” You said, still not knowing when to quit.

He continued to browse, his fingers still running over things - the same fingers that had just wrapped around your throat. They looked so tantalizing from where you stood. 

“You know, (Y/N), I much prefer when you’re a good girl and you use your words and just ask me…” He teased, not looking at you. Good girl… was he insane? He must be, saying that out loud, so casually like that. You try to stutter out a reply and he chuckles dryly. 

“What, cat got your tongue? You were so daring just a moment ago. What happened?” He cooed at you. God, you needed him. But you’d never let him know that… you couldn’t let him win whatever game you had decided you were playing. 

“Keep that energy when we get home and you don’t run the risk of getting caught.” You finally said, challenging him again. You knew it wasn’t the risk of getting caught that turned him on, per se, but it helped. He wasn’t shy about being dominant with you in bed, either, but moments this intense were a bit few and far between.

~~~

Maybe you should have learned to watch your mouth. Because there you were, naked and on your knees on the bedroom floor in front of him, hands neatly clasped behind your back as he circled you. You didn’t dare turn your head to follow him, but you kept your eyes on him from the second he was in your peripherals to the second he left, your gaze fixing on the wall when he was behind you. 

He stopped in front of you, grabbing a fist full of your hair, yanking your head back with minor force, making you look up at him. 

“You think I didn’t know what you were doing? That little stunt you pulled earlier?” He asked, his voice low and gritty.

“What stunt?” You asked, innocently. He rolled his eyes, tugging your hair again. 

“I know you’re dumb when all you can think about is my cock, but you’re not stupid. Teasing me in public like that… if you wanted me to choke you, all you had to do was ask.” He said, before letting go of your hair. God, he was insane… and God, you needed him. You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but no words came. He stopped in front of you, tilting your head up, tucking his fingers under your chin.

“Open your mouth.” He said, simply. Of course, you obliged, parting your lips just a bit. What a brat you were, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him. His fingers gripped your chin, digging into your skin softly - enough for you to feel but nowhere near hard enough to leave a mark. After all, marks were best left in places only the two of you could see. The force of his fingers caused you to gasp out quietly, your mouth finally opening to where he wanted it - wide enough for him to spit in your mouth. It wasn’t hard, quite the opposite actually. His spit dripped from where he stood above you, falling into your open mouth, mixing with your own.

“Good girl… swallow.” He said, releasing your mouth. He watched you swallow his spit, your eyes looking up at him, wide with desperation. The very act of that was enough for him to snap. He needed you just as much as you needed him, if not more. You were his. He was yours.

His fingers skillfully undid his belt, and in a split second decision, he made his way behind you,  restraining your wrists with the belt, pulling on it tightly to remind you that you were in his control before securing it with enough room for you to slip out of if you needed to. But, of course, you were a good girl, so you wouldn’t dream of doing that. 

He made his way in front of you again, smirking as he noticed your eyes follow every movements of his fingers as he undid the button on his jeans. It felt like the blink of an eye. One moment he was standing in front of you, towering over you, fully clothed. And now, he stood before you, hard and needy. A small whine left your mouth as you shifted on your knees. 

“Needy thing, aren’t you?” He said, tangling his fingers in your hair, his cock brushing your lips. You nodded, your eyes darting between his face and his cock. 

“Go on then, show me what else that mouth can do when it’s not trying me.” He said, tracing your lips with the tip of his cock. He didn’t need to tell you twice. Your lips parted, and you slowly took him into your mouth, moving inch by inch, breathing through your nose, hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around him as best you could. God, it felt like every time the two of you got together, he got bigger.

He inhaled air through his teeth feeling your mouth around him. “There you go, that’s a good girl.” He mumbled, shutting his eyes and letting his head fall back, succumbing to the ecstasy that came from your mouth. He gave you a few more moments to adjust to having him in your mouth before he took over - he couldn’t take your teasing anymore. Both of his hands grabbed your hair, guiding your mouth up and down his cock at a steady pace, your spit beginning to bubble in the corners of your mouth. 

“Relax your throat, doll. Let me fuck that pretty face.” He muttered, speeding up just a fraction, coaxing filthy, guttural sounds from you. Of course, you let him. Your eyes fell shut, your let your throat relax as best you could and you paced your breathing out of your nose, humming around his cock with each thrust, leaving tantalizing vibrations on his skin. He felt himself getting close, and despite the mental image of you spilling his cum out of your mouth driving him insane, he wasn’t done with you. Not for a long shot. 

He grabbed a fistful of your hair, guiding you off his cock, before grabbing your arm, helping you up and onto all fours on the bed, pulling the belt off your wrists so you could stabilize yourself. “Such a good fucking girl for me.” He said, his voice hoarse with need.

He watched you settle onto your hands and knees in front of him, arching your back so perfectly. Fuck, he couldn’t get enough of you. He knew that he could just take you now, fuck you and fill you with his cum, but where was the fun in that?

Instead, his tongue found its way between your legs, finally connecting with where you needed him most. You let out a small yelp-whine that fell into a moan as his tongue lapped up the wetness that had gathered while he had fucked your face.

“Look at you… such a mess already. Does my cock really make you this needy?” He mumbled into your skin before attaching his lips to your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue. You tried to answer, the start of a ‘Yes” coming from your mouth, before getting cut off in the middle by a moan. His hands grasped at your ass as he continued to lick and suck at you, kneading your flesh between his fingers before occasionally coming down in hard spanks. It was overwhelming in the best way possible. 

“J-jooyeon… fuck, I… please…” You whined out. 

“Please what?” He mumbled against your clit, spanking you once again.

“Please, I’m gonna… fuck, please let me come.” You all but gasped out. He debated it for a moment, his lips never leaving you. He could easily pull away, leave you writhing and begging for more… or he could push you over the edge, knowing you sounded so perfect when you were overstimulated. He settled for the latter.

“Go on then, come for me. Be a good girl and come on my tongue.” He said, doubling down his efforts of eating you out. You didn’t need to be told twice. You let your arms fall in front of you, arching your back and gripping at the sheets. 

“Fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming. Oh, God…” You whined loudly into the sheets below you. You could feel him smirk into you while he continued to lick and suck while you not only came, but felt the aftershocks of sensitivity rock you. 

“Jooyeon, fuck, I can’t…” You said breathlessly, your legs shaking in his hands as his tongue pushed you into a state of overstimulation. He wouldn’t push you… not like that, at least. He stood up, letting you breathe for just a second before spanking you a few more times, lining himself up with your entrance.

“You can… you can take it. You’re my good girl, aren’t you?” He asked, smiling when you answered with a shaky whine and a nod. You both knew you’d use the safe word if you had to, but you both also knew you loved to let him use you. 

“Say it.” He said, teasing you, pressing his tip into you a few centimeters before pulling out.

“I’m your good girl.” You gasped out desperate to be full of him.

“What was that?” He said, continuing to tease you. “I didn’t hear you, doll.”

“Yes you did…” You whined, desperately. He had just let you come and you were talking back? Not on his watch. His hand found your ass again, hitting you harder than he had earlier, leaving your skin red and achy. You let out a loud whiny moan at the impact, causing you to clench around nothing.

“Try again, slut.” He said. He was careful with degrading you, never going far enough to make you feel genuinely bad about yourself, but enough to make you wetter and wetter.

“I’m your good girl. I’m yours. I’m your good girl.” You said, clearer and louder. “Please… please fuck me.” You added, pushing your body back.

“You’re so cute when you’re desperate for my cock. You want me to fuck you, huh? You think you deserve to have my cock in you?” He said, tracing it up and down your slit. 

“I… I deserve what you think I deserve…” You said, falling more and more into a submissive state. He smiled coyly at your response, his hand rubbing your ass where he had come down earlier, soothing the redness that remained.

“That’s my good girl. All mine.” He said, once again teasing you. As you tried to reply “Yours,” though, he pushed himself into you in one swift motion, evoking another loud, whiny moan. He let you adjust to the feeling of being full, taking a moment to rub his his hands over your back before settling on your hips. 

“Who owns this pussy?” He asked, staring to move. 

“You do… God, you do!” You moaned, feeling yourself stretch around him. Your quick, obedient answer once again caused something inside him to snap. He moved with a new fervor, slamming into you, his hips colliding with yours, his fingers digging into your hips, almost bruising you. You let yourself get fucked into the mattress, getting just as much pleasure as he was getting, the feeling of him deep inside you driving you closer and closer to coming again. 

“I’m so fucking close…” you gasped out between thrusts. That was great, but he wasn’t anywhere near done with you… not until he came. He grabbed your arm, pulling you so you were kneeling as he fucked up into you, hitting you deeper than before. One of his hands wrapped around to your throat, pressing down, the other hand wrapped around to rub your clit, his thrusts never stopping. 

“You better not fucking come until I tell you to.” He all but growled in your ear. You nodded, trying hard not to lose yourself, to be a good girl and follow his directions. He felt your quick pulse under his fingers as he pressed and loosened his fingers around your throat, choking you and giving you just a moment’s respite to breathe, his other hand rubbing feverish circles on your clit. 

“Fuck, please.” You moaned again, trying to coax him to his own orgasm so you could fall over the edge with him. 

He was close as well, but holding back as he contemplated where to come. Regardless, he was going to mark you as his, as he did every time. But would this time be a time where he came inside you? Or would this be a time where he pulled out and came all over your back? As you clenched around him, trying to stop your own orgasm, he decided. Since you had been such a little brat earlier, he wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of feeling him come inside you.

“Tell me you need it.” He muttered into your ear, fucking into you.

“Please, I need to come, please, please make me come, please let me come for you.” You begged as best you could with his fingers wrapped around your throat. 

“Go on, then. Put on a show for me. Come for me. Be a good girl and come all over my cock.” He said, rubbing his fingers on your clit faster. Your hands grabbed onto his arm, steadying yourself as another orgasm burned within you, leaving you gasping out for air, moaning, whining and repeating his name over and over again. “That’s my good girl, my perfect little fucked out slut.” He whispered as you squeezed your eyes shut. 

He pushed you forward again, onto the bed, pulling out just in time, coming all over your back and ass, groaning your name, holding himself up by grabbing your hips again. You felt his cum hit you and you whined quietly, still reeling from your own over-sensitivities. He milked the last drops from himself before collapsing next to you on the bed, laying on his back.

He let out breathless chuckles, his hand patting around the bed to find yours, intertwining your fingers together. 

“Fuck, you’re incredible… my good girl… took my cock so well.” He muttered out, hazily. 

You giggle quietly, still breathing heavily. “Well, when you fuck me that good, how could I not?”

~~~

He lost his words, rolling over onto his side just enough to take you in, gazing at you from head to toe. You laid there, resting your head between your arms, breathing heavily, each breath in causing your chest to rise enough that the light bounced off his cum on your back. If it hadn’t been completely obvious to him before, he would have cited this as the moment he fell in love with you… maybe he was falling all over again. You turned to head to look at him, gazing into his eyes. 

“What are you thinking about?” You asked, your voice soft and gentle - a stark difference from the whiny begs that had fallen from your lips just minutes ago.

“You.” He said, smiling himself. His smile was small, but full of love. You chuckled at his matter-of-fact answer. 

“Me, huh? Anything good?”

He nodded. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” You replied. Loving each other was, frankly, as easy as breathing. 

You both stayed there, looking at each other, not speaking but your eyes and smiles saying every unspoken word. After a few more minutes, he stood up, with a small grunt. 

“Alright, let me get you cleaned off, I don’t want you feeling sticky all night.” He said, playfully patting your ass. He returned a few moments later with a warm washcloth, wiping his mess off of your back, also taking care to clean up your own wet mess. “Better?” He asked once you were clean.

You nodded. “Much, thank you.” You stood up, yourself, finally, padding to the bathroom, where he was still standing, cleaning himself off. You sat on the toilet beside him, just looking up at him while you both did your business. 

“You know… maybe I should tease you in public more, if it means I get this.” You chuckled, finishing your business. He rolled his eyes at you playfully, pulling you in for a kiss, his hand resting on the small of your back. 

“Again, babe, just ask… you’re so pretty when you use your words and ask.” He mumbled onto your lips. 

“Hmm, no, this is more fun.” You said, patting his chest before walking back to the bedroom, laying down waiting for him to join you. He did a few minutes later, wrapping himself around you, tangling your legs together and pressing his chest to your back.

“You’re a brat… but you’re my brat. And I love you for that.” He said into your neck, leaving kisses between each word.

“I love you too.” You hummed, contently, feeling so used but so safe and loved in his arms.

[coolshadowtwins]

I have this au that just kinda… drops off half way through, which is why I haven’t posted it before. But I can’t think of anything else for it, so you get what little there is!

SXY manages to survive the poison when giving birth. Maybe it wasn’t as strong, maybe she managed to cut it off early enough, maybe LBH’s demon blood helped. Who knows. The point is, she is now half dead instead of fully dead, in a lot of pain, and has a newborn baby because she just gave birth! She’s just thinking about doing her original plan- sending LBH down the river- when a nice washer woman comes along and finds her.

I’m going to call her Ms Luo for this, since she doesn’t have a name in canon. Ms Luo is a kind woman! She’s kind of enough to take in a baby she has found in the wilderness, and she’s kind enough to take in this dying, half feral cultivator and her newborn baby as well!

SXY doesn’t trust it- obviously. But she doesn’t get much of a say when she falls unconscious, does she, hmmm? And she stays in and out of unconsciousness for the next few days, at least. The poi didn’t kill her, but it did mess her up. I imagine for this au it would limit her lower mobility, if it was trying to kill the baby. Some bad nerve damage there.

But Ms Luo is here! She doesn’t have much, but she does care for the baby as SXY is unconscious. She tries to get medication for SXY as well, but isn’t successful. Just as well- normal medication wouldn’t do much for what’s wrong anyway.

And this is the new normal that SXY wakes up to- a week plus later, her cultivation (which also would have taken a hit) having done its best at repairing the damage, her lover and the father of her child either dead or sealed away out of reach, and at the mercy of this random washerwoman.

She’s not getting any better until she could see a sect doctor, preferably one of the best ones. But that’s never going to happen- she’s wanted now, surely! Demonic sympathizers were never treated well. (The cultivation world thinks she’s dead, tragically killed by TJL. But she doesn’t know this yet.)

So she does the only thing she can- hang around and help Ms Luo out. She can’t leave, not with her mobility issues, nor would she be able to provide for her baby. But she can stay here, under the kindness of this woman, and try and help her out.

She starts to help wash the clothes- don’t have to be standing for parts of that! To save on food, she focuses her limited cultivation so she doesn’t have to eat the limited supplies they have. She’s terrifying, and she’s uses that to her advantage when intimidating Ms Luo’s shitty boss.

Ms Luo repays her by not only letting her live there, but also helping with LBH, giving SXY a new name to hide with, and her friendship. (SXY will never admit it, but she never had a lot of friends. Having one in Ms Luo was… nice)

LBH, meanwhile, is absolutely loving being raised by two moms. He’s learning to cook from Ms Luo, and learning cultivating from SXY. What else would a young boy need?

And then LBH is ten, and Ms Luo gets sick. Like, really sick. Nothing SXY, in her limited medical knowledge, does helps her. The town doesn’t have a clinic, and the nearest one is a while away. Not only that, they don’t have the money to go. SXY can see only one way to help her friend- go to the one place that (probably) wouldn’t turn her away for being a criminal when there’s a life of the line. CQM.

Cue a travel montage of SXY (who has limited mobility), Ms Luo (who is deathly sick), and LBH (who is ten), trying to get to CQM before it is too late.

They do make it there- only to be stopped at the stairs. They aren’t stopped by an actual person! They are stopped by the actual stairs. SXY can’t walk them. Ms Luo can’t walk them.

That leaves LBH, ten and scruffy and probably looking too thin, to be the one to climb the giant staircase, up to the sect in the heavens.

The last thought I have of this au is the funny image of whoever happens to be at the top of the stairs that morning, being greeted by what looks to be a street urchin tell you that his mother is the long thought dead SXY and that she’s down the stairs, along with his other mother (by the way, he has two), and both are dying. Would you believe him?

(I have nothing after this. Please, tell me in reblogs and replies about how you would continue this)

[sun-stricken]

Random Gratsu hc’s

Job dates. Training dates. they’ve probably had like 3 real dates not counting anniversaries

Grays childhood nickname for Natsu was Ashes, it was one of the first he called him and probs the only one that wasn’t driven as an insult.

he stopped calling him that at some point in their early teens, but he accidentally let it slip post forming the team and Natsu wouldnt respond to anything else from him for like a week straight

Gray has chronic pain, and he will drape himself over Natsu when it gets bad bc hes a human heating pad. Natsu takes it in stride even if hes having a conversation with someone

If Natsu gets too flustered (or turned on, or angry) his temperature will rise a lot, and since Gray runs cold their first kiss (and plenty after) created light steam

its happened during most of their firsts as a couple and it always makes Gray laugh which in turn causes Natsu even more embarrassment which creates more steam

its a vicious cycle

Gray fell first, Natsu fell harder

Gray isnt bad at flirting per se, hes just awkward ans gets too embarrassed with it. He prefers to ‘flirt’ with actions (looking him up and down, gifts, being touchy)

Natsu unintentionally flirts, hes not the type to hold back and says what he means. So he ends up giving the most genuine, love struck compliments known to man and he doesn’t even realize.

However, his deep hidden knowledge of actual flirting comes out when they’re fighting

Even though they argue constantly they have a rule against going to bed angry that they follow religiously, and if that means they don’t sleep for days on end sometimes thats nobody’s business but theirs.

When they started dating the original plan was to wait to tell people, but Natsu, who was genuinely vibrating with excitement and a need to tell everyone, broke within the first week

(what he doesnt know is Gray actually broke first, telling Cana the day of the first date (He needed moral support and shes had to listen to him moon over him for years! she deserved to know!))

Not that it really mattered, half the guild thought they were dating already

There was no formal announcement, they just started making out in the guild and that was that

ironically, the guildmates closest to them were the ones that had no clue and were surprised. And the ones that werent that close went on abt how ‘it was so obvious’ and ‘how could you not know?’

Once the shock and awe died down, ppl started panicking trying to figure out who to give the shovel talk to

baseline; it was very eventful

Before they started dating every now and then you could catch Gray looking in pure awe at Natsu when hes beating the shit out of someone

He doesnt even try to hide it now, even if hes the one Natsus fighting

Gray, staring at Natsu: hes so hot
Lucy, concerned: ??? Hes about to kill that guy!!
Gray, sighing dreamily: i know

They dont actually know how they started dating. one minute they were fighting and the next they were making out, two days later they were on a date in a restaurant way too fancy for them. and that was that

Gray has used Natsu as a human lighter so many times over the years its likely he doesnt even carry one any more

Natsu will eat the flame if Gray tries to use one till he asks him

[jerzwriter]

Thank you to @alj4890 for this ask from this list! I've done all three of yours, and I'll be working on the others. Thanks to all who sent in requests!

Story: Crimes of Passion (Book 1 Timeline) Trope: There's only one bed... Characters: Trystan Thorne x Carolina Rose (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 2,000 Summary: A rainy night, a brokedown car, and a cheap motel lead to amusement and some discoveries.

Participating in @choicesjunechallenge2024 - Car and MHotel Original prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting's "There's one bed" prompts is highlighted below

Trystan x Carolina Masterlist Complete Masterlist

If Murphy himself had created a day, it would have gone something like this. Everything that could go wrong did, and as Trystan stood in the pouring rain, intently looking for… something… under the hood of Carolina’s car, he didn't foresee it getting better.

Carolina was seated in the driver’s seat, her frustration mounting by the minute. The thought of honking the horn and making the Drakovian know-it-all jump into the stratosphere crossed her mind, which brought a smile to her face.

She looked at her watch – it was getting late. While her little fantasy may have brightened her mood, it wasn’t going to get them out of this jam. Still soaking wet from before, she stepped into the drenching rain with her jacket lifted over her head and settled at her partner’s side. 

“Trystan,” she groaned. “It’s time to give up. You can’t fix this.”

He looked at her with vexation; his desire to save the day greater than he cared to admit. 

“I just need five more minutes…”

“What will five more minutes do?” She exasperated. “I looked at it for a half hour. Now you’ve been staring at it for 20 minutes without so much as touching anything. Besides, if I couldn't get it started, you're not going to get it started."

Trystan gasped audibly, clutching his chest as if her words had delivered a mortal wound.  

“Et tu, Carolina?”

“Et tu, nothing,” she said, trying - and failing - to contain a grin. “Let’s just be real. Who is more likely to know how to fix a car? A sassy but usually broke boricua from the Bronx with a string of shitty cars and hundreds of hours of her father’s mechanical tutelage….or the spoiled little prince who was chauffeured everywhere in his personal Rolls Royce?.” 

“Hey!” He snapped back. “That’s not fair! Sometimes, I was driven in horse-drawn carriages.” 

“I rest my case!” 

In truth, Trystan was tired of being wet and cold, so Carolina quickly convinced him that the car needed an expert and probably a tow truck. After leaving a note on the dashboard, the two of them made their soggy way to a roadside motel they had passed before. 

“Are you sure there is no place more… suitable?” Trystan groused.

“We're in West Bubbafuck, Your Highness. I am sorry, no Four Seasons or Ritz-Carlton’s here.”

“I don’t require a five-star property, but I would rather not stay at the Bates Motel.”

“Well, it’s that or sleeping in the car, big boy! Personally, I’d rather not have a tractor-trailer driver careening into us at 2:00 AM. But I’ll let you make your own decisions.”

“You make entirely too much sense,” he sighed as they reached the front door of the motel’s front office.  

Carolina grabbed the door handle with a satisfied grin. “And don’t you forget that!” 

After securing a room, they walked down the outdoor corridor toward their room. 

“I can’t believe this place has only one vacancy tonight.” 

“Believe it or not, this area is pretty popular this time of year, and those who prefer not to camp, stay here. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be.” 

“Really?” 

“Look,” she said, slipping the key into the door. “As long as it’s clean, has warm beds, and functional plumbing. We’re golden!.” 

She pushed the door open, and when the room came into view, Carolina lost that edge of positivity, but Trystan laughed with delight.

It was minuscule, so small they'd have to take turns walking in some places, as side by side would be impossible. But that wasn’t the real issue. The real issue was the one bed. The one twin-sized bed. 

“But look,” Trystan smirked. “The place is clean, I'll give it that.”

“Are you freaking kidding me!” She spat.

“Should I check if it’s warm,” he continued to instigate.

“I mean, one bed is one thing, but one twin-sized bed?”

“What’s the matter, Carolina?" he winked. "This is a great way for us to... bond.”

“That’s it!” She said, her hand already on the doorknob. “Being careened into by a tractor-trailer doesn’t sound that bad anymore.”

But Trystan reached over her and pushed the door shut. “Carolina, stop it. You were right; the car isn’t safe to sleep in overnight. This may be awkward, but at least we’ll be safe.”

“Awkward? I’m not concerned about awkward. Try impossible! How can the two of us fit on that thing? And this place is so small the floor isn’t even an option.”

“There’s always the bathtub,” he said, flicking the bathroom light on. “Or the shower stall?” he corrected with a sigh. “I could attempt to sleep atop that old console TV; it’s certainly big enough.”

The vision alone made Carolina laugh despite herself. “You’re not sleeping on the TV, Trystan. We’ll figure out a way to make this work.”

They took turns taking warm showers, which both had to admit felt heavenly. They also took turns using the small hair dryer to dry their underwear and shirts, their only options for sleeping that night. Trystan was sitting in the small sleeping area, holding a pair of boxers in one hand and the dryer in the other, when Carolina barged into the room, vigorously drying her hair with a towel and wearing another tied around her. They looked at each other with very distinct reactions: Carolina’s was one of amusement, but Trystan’s was... something else.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen,” Carolina chuckled. “I bet you never thought you’d be drying your underwear by hand in a dinky little motel one day."

If she expected a reaction, she was about to be disappointed. The man sat on the edge of the bed, mouth agape, trying and failing to string a logical sentence together.

“Trystan,” she said, waving a hand in front of his face, when she finally caught on. “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she laughed. “Come back to Earth. I'm sure you've seen a woman in a towel before.”

“Not this woman,” he affirmed.

Carolina looked at him with amusement. “This woman isn’t all that special.”

“I think I can draw my own conclusions on that,” he assured as a blush settled on Carolina’s cheeks.

“Fine,” she sighed. “My shirt is dry enough. I’ll put it on if it makes you feel better.”

She marched into the bathroom, shirt in hand, as Trystan contemplated how he could be so stupid.

“I don’t know if that will make me feel better... or worse... if we're being honest.”  

Carolina emerged from the bathroom in her long, white, button-front shirt, damp locks falling down her shoulders.

“You know, you were wearing no more than a towel when I met you, but I was able to keep my composure.”

Now, it was Trystan's turn to blush.

“In fairness, we were too battling one another for you to give it much thought."

“Says you,” she winked, leaving him unsure of what to think.

“Are you flirting with me, Detective Rose?”

“Me,” she chortled. “No. I’m teasing you. There is a difference. Flirting is your domain.”

“Ah, but flirting and teasing are very close cousins.”

“Then you should know I don’t speak to most of my cousins,” she yawned, pointing to the bed. “So, how are we doing this? I really need to get to sleep.”

“Here’s what we'll do. I'll lay flat on my side, against the wall, and you figure out what you can do with the rest of the bed.”

"We’re obviously going to be touching," Carolina pointed out. "There’s no way to avoid that.”

“I know," he grinned lasciviously, playfully wiggling his brows.

"OK, Casanova," she smiled while tossing a pillow at him. "That touching means nothing. Do you understand?"

“Casanova was Italian, not Drakovian," he said with mock disdain. "Do you learn anything in America?”

“I know he was Italian! That’s not the point, you know... never mind.”

Trystan jumped onto the small bed, his back uncomfortably plastered against the wall as Carolina struggled to decide how she would sleep. Facing him would be just plain awkward, but facing away was bound to lead to unintentional spooning. She finally decided to face away; at least she wouldn't have to look at him if spooning occurred.

Despite the various forms of discomfort, Carolina managed to fall asleep quickly, but Trystan had no such luck. As the hours ticked away, he had given up any hope of quality sleep, so he lay awake with a million thoughts running through his mind. He chuckled as he recalled the first time he and Carolina met and marveled over how much they had been through together in such a short time. He wondered if she thought his voracious flirtation was all a joke, just a part of his persona - because, in reality, it was in his nature. But the more time he spent with this rare and astonishing Rose, the more he knew he'd love for them to become so much more.

But, as far as he could tell, she didn’t return those feelings, and setting himself up for another heartbreak was the last thing he wished to do. It would be best to push those feelings aside and take nights like this for what they were - rare and precious gifts from the universe that he would always, always treasure.

He had just begun to doze off when Carolina's voice awakened him.

“Huh, what?” he blurted, but she didn't stir.

Incomprehensible words fell from her lips, with the rare mention of ice cream sundaes thrown in for good measure.

“Dear God," Trystan lauged. "She talks in her sleep!”

Now that free entertainment was being provided, he lost all inclination to return to sleep. He wanted to hear every unintelligible word she said, finding it equal parts amusing and adorable. It was all great fun until his heart nearly stopped... did she just say?

“Trystan,” she mumbled. “Yeah, he’s cute.”

A pompous grin appeared on his face as he validated his sleeping partner's nocturnal confession. "Naturally!"

“I don’t know,” she sleepily giggled. “Maybe one day.”

Now, he had no idea of the context. Perhaps she wanted to get an ice cream sundae with him one day? Or perhaps the topic in her head changed completely and had nothing to do with him. But Trystan was going to take the "Maybe one day" the very way he wanted. Perhaps he didn't need to give up. With hope restored in his heart, he easily drifted off to sleep.

When the morning light broke through the tiny space where the drapes didn't meet, Carolina was quick to wake. She was fully dressed and scrolling through her phone when the exiled prince began to stir.

"Good morning," she smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

He wriggled around in bed, rubbing his eyes before responding with a groggy voice.

“How do you say I slept like shit in English?”

“I slept like shit," Carolina laughed.

“Well," he said, rising on an elbow. "There's your answer.”

“I’ve already called for a tow truck, and I’m arranging a rental car. I’ll drive back to the City so you can sleep." She stood up and grabbed her purse. "I saw a little coffee shop just down the road. I'll go get us some breakfast while and give you some privacy to get dressed."

“Thank you,” he muttered, then he recalled the detective talking in her sleep. She was at the door when he called out. “Oh, Carolina?”

"Yes," she replied without turning.

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep?”

He watched with amusement as her shoulders slumped, and he heard her breath escape her. Carolina had forgotten about that little habit. She turned to him in horror.

“All right, what. What did I say?" She ordered. "Just get it out, how much did I embarrass myself?”

But Trystan's warm smile was quite reassuring. “Not at all,” he insisted. “Though you were talking about ice cream sundaes quite a bit. How about I get you one when we’re back in the City. I know of a great place on the Lower East Side.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that," she smiled in relief. "But I'm getting the biggest sundae they have. I don't come cheap."

"I never expected you would," he smiled, and she was gone.

He fell back into the pillows with a look of wonderment.

"Maybe one day," he smiled. "Maybe one day."

@choicesficwriterscreations

Tagging others separately.

[1lenii]

Ma.. (TWIN AU)

Miles Morales/Milo G Morales x F!Reader

Which Miles? It’s up to preference it can b read for both! Ya can switch it around if wanted

Twin au, got the name Milo from another talented writer so if you see this hi sweetie<3

Somewhat headcannons/story, miles a self apologetic, (Y/N) doesn’t know what she feels until the end. Read and find out<3

⚠️CHEATING!! Violence(slapping), empty threats, they are aged up(for the drinking in one bit)

Notes: fill my inbox it 🏃🏽‍♀️ and check out my other works! Masterlist<3

****************************************************

* Miles didn’t mean to do it. It’s just.. happened you know?

* Did he regret it? Yes.

* Did he know you wouldn’t forgive him? Yes.

* That’s exactly why he couldn’t let you find out.

* It’s was a class party, someone spiked the drinks, that’s someone was ofc Edna

* Taking advantage of (Y/N) absence and Miles out of mindedness

* HE led her to a room @the party and one thing led to another

* This became a common reoccurrence ever since (Y/N) came back from her family trip

* All while Milo observed and watched from a far

****************************************************

(Y/N) was coming out of calculus to go to Miles double period of Spanish, which was now in the 2nd half.

Literally oblivious to the fact of what her soon to be ex lover had done.

Quietly coming into the classroom she walks over to her desk taking a seek and taking a peek at Miles who heads a gift on his desk with a note, while he was staring out the window.

“For this project, you’ll be doing groups of four, each of you will be studying a different country of Spanish origin, such a Spain, Mexico these are 2 of the many. Do not fail me young scholars. as for your groups it will be the person to your left and their front. You may start planning now.”

The teacher gave some long ass speech (Y/N) couldn’t be bothered to listen to

About to face Miles she went to go poke him “MILES!!!” A terrifying screech came from right in front of them. It’s was Edna…

Edna Stacy.

(cousin of Gwen Stacy cs I love her I don’t want her to b the bad guy, you feel me?)

“Oh hi..” miles mumbles facing away from her to finally face you, “Mami we need to talk”

Milo scoffs rolling his eyes, “now you wanna talk cheater” he mumbles only miles catching wind of what he said

Completely ignoring Edna as she sat on his desk, (Y/N) nodded hesitatingly turning her head back to her paper not saying a word, heart now racing with ‘talk about what’ with a little ‘oh great, her.’

Edna took this as an invitation to leaning closer to Miles, “you enjoyed my present pretty boy? You didn’t even open it”

“Excuse you? You do realize he has a girl right? That’s fucking dirty” (Y/N) glances at her

“Well clearly not if he—-“

“THATS enough, erm- can we finish this later at one of our dorms, class about to let out” Miles says clearing his throat

(Y/N) eyes him weirdly before eventually agreeing with him, sooner or later the bell rang signifying the end of the day.

“Milo won’t you be a dear and tell Miles ima come over later I gotta get the textbook for the project from the library, Oka?” (Y/N) says giving a closed eye smile to the much more seemingly emotionless twin

“Oh..? Matter a fact lemme come with you, ion wanna b with that brain dead idiot” Milo says while giving (Y/N) and side hug and arm to link around (platonic for now)

********************************************

‘He’s been so distant.. what’s up with him.’

*THUMP*

‘Ever since I came back’

*THUMP*

“Did you hear? I Hurd Miles got a lil sum from Edna at last weeks party” said some random kids from behind the shelf

*THUMP*

“Oh yea? But doesn’t he have a gf?”

*THUMP*

“Doesn’t seem it” the guy shrugs

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

Milo caught on tryna distract (Y/N), covering her ears, even training her eyes on him, but it wasn’t enough as she ran out of the library with Milo trailing behind

(Y/N) didn’t even remember when she dropped the textbook in the dorm complex, tears running down almost blurring her vision almost tripping up the stairs to twins floor.

“Ma wait” milo says I’m attempts to calm (Y/N) down

Her heart heaving and hurting from the pain of her legs as well the hurt from her lover.

“It isn’t true, we’ll go to miles confirm and it’s not gonna be true. Right? Right?”

Wrong.

Before (Y/N) could even open the door she heard gasps groans and slight moans

She enter the complex along with Milo who started at his twin in dissatisfied, the door was completely unlocked, (Y/N) stares. Eyes wide.. not from shock. No. From hurt and surprised.

“So that’s what they meant” (Y/N) mumbles

“Wait! Mami it isn’t. I mean- it’s is but I didn’t mean for it— it was Js- ma im sorry it was in the momen—“

“I don’t care Miles..” (Y/N) says drying her tear stained cheeks, clicking over to fall in front of him

“I genuinely don’t care Miles, this is the worst downgrade that could possibly happened”

Milo knowing it wasn’t the time tried to stifle a laugh

*SMACK*

The room fell silent as (Y/N) hand was in the air from the previous action

“If it was because you didn’t love me, or because it was a dare, I don’t care. Miles you’ve completely lost my trust and we’re done. After this project I don’t want you near me”

(Y/N) grabs Milo’s hand going up even more stares, as they eventually get to the roof, situated on the edge with the safety rail

“I’m.. my bad. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t wanna seem.. idk” Milo trails off

(Y/N) sighs leaning her head against his shoulder.

“It’s Oka.. you only did what you had to do to protect any feelings I had left.. so thank you”

*THUMP*

Milo’s face darkens into a shade of red which can only be seen by the flashing lights of the cars passing by.

With a content feel of the area and each others presence they are now staring at each other, tension getting thicker by the minute,

Till eventually their nose touch, bending at the contact of their Lips moving together in sync and in harmony.

(Y/N) had found it. The piece of the her aching heart

*THUMP*

****************************************************

Kinda fast paced but I think it’s cute, lmk what ya think<3

[wolfjackle-creates]

The Two Ghost Motel

So, as I mentioned, I joined the DP Ecto-Implosion Event this past month and it's Posting Week now! So I get to finally share with you the first chapter of my fic. Still working on editing the second half of the fic, but it's fully written as of this time.

For those who don't know, for the Ecto-Implosion event, artists drew/animated/composed some piece of art and writers then went in and wrote fics based off their art.

I was lucky enough to be paired with the super talented @i-think-in-metaphors who made this gorgeous artwork:

You can read on AO3 here (this fic is not locked to AO3 users only).

And for those of you who prefer to read on Tumblr:

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Minor Original Character Death (not in this chapter)

Fandom: DPxDC (though no knowledge of DC is necessary for this fic. I use a single character and he has amnesia, it takes place in an original setting or Amity)

Summary:

Danny is tired. Endless ghost fights with too many responsibilities and too little time; he barely passed sophomore year. When Ember visits town for a bit of fun, she mentions the Two Ghost Motel, a place of peace and refuge for restless ghosts who aren't ready to cross over. “I’m fine, Ember.” Danny’s got a home and friends. He’s fine, really. But when his parents begin experimenting with electricity to destabilize ghosts, it’s too much for Danny. Unfortunately, neither Sam nor Tucker can host him for the night and he’s left wandering in the night, alone. Then he sees it: The Two Ghost Motel. He checks in. “Welcome.”

-----

Danny wasn’t sure when he first saw the neon sign. Honestly, he didn’t even realize it was something ghostly when he did. He just thought it was one more ghost-themed business that had come to Amity since the portal opened.

But when he mentioned the motel to Sam and Tucker, they looked at him like he was crazy.

“I’ve never heard of any Two Ghost Motel,” said Sam. “Where’d you see it?”

Tucker was typing into his PDA. “Nothing’s coming up online, either.”

“Oh come on, you’re pulling my leg. We’ve passed it at least a half dozen times. Last night when we were leaving Nasty Burger for one! And I think, what, three nights before that? On patrol? Where were we?”

“Dude, that night we were near the library. No where near Nasty Burger. No way you could’ve seen the same place both nights,” said Tucker.

“Danny, when was the last time you got a full night’s sleep?” Sam’s brow was knit in concern.

Danny waved off her concern. “Whatever. I know I’ve seen it. The sign is bright pink and orange with blue ghosts on it.”

Sam just shrugged and shook her head. “Point it out next time you see it.”

Before Danny could reply, his ghost sense went off and he groaned. “Ugh, looks like someone’s around. I’m too tired for this.” Danny glanced around. They were in the park and no humans were nearby so he let his transformation wash over him.

He flew into the air and tried to listen past the sound of his breaths echoing through his mask. Even though he didn’t breathe when transformed, something about the hazmat suit remembered and the sound was inescapable.

A guitar chord played behind him and Danny instinctively threw up a shield and fell ten feet right as a blast from Ember’s instrument headed his way.

“Hey there, baby-pop!” she called. “I was sitting around, bored out of my mind, when I remembered I could just come here to have some fun!”

Danny turned to face her. “Come on, Ember.” His voice always sounded so robotic when filtered through the mask. “I’m tired.”

“Too bad. I’m not.” She grinned at him and strummed a few notes, sending more attacks his way.

Danny dodged, only to have to watch one of the blasts hit a bench and destroy it. He flew higher, hoping her next attacks wouldn’t cause more collateral that would be blamed on him.

“What, you just gonna dance around like that? Come on, attack back!”

“My moves not good enough for you?”

“You need to step it up if you want to be my back up dancer.”

Danny couldn’t help but laugh and when she sent her next blast his way, he avoided it by doing a backwards dive towards the ground only to circle back up until he was facing her. “How’s that?”

“Better, but you’re still not there. Your moves have to match the music!” She played a tune with a fast beat and Danny dodged and spun. And if he added some flair to his movements, well, he deserved the chance to have a little fun.

Another blast his way, and he twisted his hips. Matching Ember’s beat, he sent a few ectoblasts back at her.

Ember laughed. “Now you’re catching on!”

Danny allowed himself a quick glance down where he saw Sam and Tucker not even trying to hide. Tucker was filming them.

Which, of course, is when it all had to be ruined by the unmistakable sounds of the GAV driving cross-country.

“Through the park?” he moaned. “Seriously?”

“Shit, that’s your folks, isn’t it.”

“Yeah. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

“You’ve got it, babypop. I came here for fun, not to mess with them.”

The GAV came to a stop and Danny saw his mom rush out of the passenger side with one of their new, long-distance guns. He tacked Ember, only just getting her out of the way of the blast.

Without any discussion, both turned invisible and flew out of the park. Danny didn’t let them stop until they were in a forest out of range of his parents’ trackers. Exhaustion set back in as soon as he realized they were safe, and he just plopped down on the ground and leaned against a tree.

“Ready to resume your dancing lessons?” asked Ember.

Danny groaned and rested his head against the rough bark. It was probably stupid, but he let his eyes close. “Maybe next time. I meant it when I said I’m tired.”

She didn’t say anything as one, two, three breaths sounded from his mask. And then he heard some leaves rustle. He cracked open an eye to see Ember making herself comfortable on the ground a few feet away.

“You really are tired, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah. Finals are coming up and if I don’t do well, I’m going to fail sophomore year.”

“Y’know, I’ve heard of a place…”

Danny waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t, he hummed. “A place?”

“Yeah. Haven’t been there myself. But, there’s this place. It’s for ghosts who aren’t ready to move on from Earth just yet. Ghosts who live only on Earth without ever going the Zone get tired and weak. There’s just not enough ectoplasm around. Except for here, of course.”

“So what’s this place do?”

“Gives you somewhere to rest. And recharge. It’s not really on Earth. It’s a sort of in between place. Called the Two Ghost Motel. Might be worth checking in for a night if you ever don’t want to be at home for one reason or another.”

Danny hummed. “I’ve seen it around. Thought it was just a regular motel, but Sam and Tucker didn’t know what I was talking about.”

Ember picked out a tune on her guitar, but this time no attacks emanated from it. “It’s not a place for the living from what I’ve heard. Just the dead.”

Danny looked up at the stars through the tree branches, but he shook his head. “I’m fine, Ember. Just need to get some sleep.”

“Whatever you say, baby-pop.”

---

After that conversation with Ember, the motel began basically haunting him. Every night, as soon as dusk started to fall, he’d see it. Always a few streets away, just sitting there calling to him; it’s sign bright in the dark.

Sam and Tucker couldn’t see it, no matter how often he pointed it out to him. Jazz could sometimes see something out of the corner of her eye, but when she looked on more directly, it was never there.

Danny never approached. He was fine. He had a home and friends. There was no reason to go to some random motel.

Finals came and went. He managed to scrape by with at least Cs in everything. His parents, especially his mom, had not been happy with those grades, but Danny was just glad to have passed.

Didn’t stop him from being grounded and forced to help out more in the lab. One afternoon, he was in his room playing Doomed with Sam and Tucker when he got a message from his parents calling him back down to help them out.

“Ugh, I’ve got to go down to the lab.”

“Seriously?” complained Tucker. “Again?”

“Yeah,” agreed Sam. “Seems you’re always off helping them lately. Can’t you say no?”

“It’s this or having my phone and computer taken away. I’ll take the lab work.” He saved his progress. “Will you guys be on later?”

“Can’t,” said Sam. “My parents are forcing me to go to a fancy dinner somewhere. And they’re not giving me any more information than that to keep me from planning anything disruptive.”

“And mine have declared we’re having a tech-free family bonding night,” said Tucker, rolling his eyes. “With board games! Who plays board games in this day and age?”

Danny laughed. “I’ll see you both tomorrow, then. Later.”

Danny signed off and went downstairs. The hazmat suits were kept in a closet right next to the door to the lab, and Danny went through the process of pulling it all on. The mask that came with it was even more annoying in human form than ghost. The filtered air always tasted strange, but he’d given up complaining about that years ago.

He unlocked the lab door and went down to the lab.

“Dan-o!” called his dad as soon as he saw him. “Come here! You’re job will be to control the current!”

“Uh, current?” asked Danny.

“We’re trying to figure out how to disrupt the electrical signal in ectoplasm that gives ghosts their shape,” explained his mom. She had a bowl of ectoplasm in a glass terrarium and was arranging two metal probes so they dipped into it.

“Exactly!” agreed his dad. “So you’re going to sit at this computer”—he pulled out a chair before one of the lab computers and gestured for Danny to sit—“and adjust the frequency and voltage.”

Danny took a seat and stared at the program that was loaded on the screen. At least he wouldn’t be anywhere near the probes? A glance at the puddle of ectoplasm had him holding back a shudder.

“First we’re going to try and force the ectoplasm to form a shape,” continued his mom. “We’re going to do that with probe A. You’re going to start with a low frequency and voltage and slowly increase it while your father and I mark down how it affects the ectoplasm. We have some hypotheses about when it’ll start to form a shape.”

“And once it forms a shape,” said his dad, “you’ll use probe B to send a contrary electrical signal to destabilize it!”

“And then no more ghost!”

Suddenly Danny was glad his suit had a face mask. His parents were going to do what? Figure out how to use electricity to destabilize ghosts? It wasn’t possible. There was no way it could work. Right? He had to stay and prove to himself they were talking crazy.

“What—” His mouth was dry and he had to try again. “How should I start?”

“The settings are already loaded,” said his mom. She grabbed a tablet and sat down in front of the terrarium.

Dad sat next to her, grinning widely. “Go ahead, Dan-o!”

Danny’s hand shook as he placed it on the mouse. He sat on the other to hide it. Then he turned on the probe.

At first, nothing happened. The ectoplasm stayed a puddle and there was no visible change in it. But as he adjusted the current, it began to ripple. His parents loudly exclaimed over every change as they shouted instructions back to him.

Each change had Danny’s heart beating harder in his chest.

Two hours in is when it happened. The ectoplasm started to form a ball that rose up out of the bowl. Danny could feel something cold in the back of his throat. Not his ghost sense, but something close.

“This is it!” yelled his dad. “Danny, what’re the settings?”

Once more, Danny was glad for the way the mask muffled his voice just enough to mask how horrified he was by the thing that was forming. His parents’ theories about electrical currents couldn’t be true. They couldn’t.

“Now for us to try disrupting the current!” The glee in his mom’s voice made bile rise in Danny’s throat. But when she told him to turn on probe B, he did.

It only took twenty minutes to find the settings that made the ectoplasm fall apart back into a puddle.

Danny was up on his feet, chair toppled, in an instant. He held a gloved hand to his masked face as if he could keep from throwing up with the motion alone. It had looked so much like Ellie when she was destabilizing.

“Danny?” asked his mom, tablet forgotten on her chair as she rushed over to him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I… I’m feeling a bit sick. Can I, can I go? Bathroom?”

His mom reached out to brush a hand over his covered forehead as if to check his temperature. “Oh sweetie, of course you can. You should’ve told us you weren’t feeling well. There’s some soup in the fridge if you think you can eat that.”

“I— yeah. Thanks.” He didn’t wait to hear anything else she had to say and just ran up the stairs. He shed his gear in record time and ran all the way up to his room. He slammed the door shut and grabbed his backpack from where it hung on his desk chair.

With shaking hands, he took out everything in the main compartment. Then he ran to his dresser and grabbed a change of clothes and something to sleep in. He couldn’t stay here right now. He just couldn’t.

From the bathroom, he grabbed some toiletries and added those.

Less than fifteen minutes after leaving the lab, he was out the front door and walking down the street. It was late, dusk starting to fall.

He considered going to Nasty Burger to get some dinner, but then he remembered the way the ball of ectoplasm had melted and he changed directions. Eventually his wandering brought him to the park where he found a bench in an empty area and sat down, dropping his backpack at his feet.

Danny buried his face in his hands as he forced himself to just breathe. He and Tucker could mess with the results from these experiments just like they had so many times in the past. It was going to be fine.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out.

Jazz: Hey, Danny. Mom said you weren’t feeling well? Jazz: Where’d you go? You’re not in your room. Danny: Sorry, Jazz. I had to get out of the house. Danny: Ask mom and dad about today’s experiments. Danny: You’ll understand why. I’m gonna spend the night at Tuck’s. Jazz: Okay. See you tomorrow? Danny: Yeah. I’ll be back tomorrow. Jazz: Love you.

Of course, Tucker was having a family night. He couldn’t crash that. And Sam’s parents had banned him from their house. Where would he spend the night?

And then he noticed it. Right outside the park glowed the sign: Two Ghost Motel.

He was on his feet and walking there before he’d even consciously made the decision to go. A glance around showed he was alone, that night had fully fallen on Amity so he let his transformation wash over him.

He reached the street and, for the first time, was staring directly at the motel rather than catching glimpses from a block or two away. The parking lot had a few cars in it, the oldest looking like it might’ve been from the twenties with the newest looking like it was ten or fifteen years old.

A glance in either direction showed no cars coming, so Danny crossed the street.

As soon as he stepped off the sidewalk and into the parking lot, Danny could feel a change in the air. It was nothing obvious, but something integral was different. The sounds of the city were muffled, the sense of life dulled. The air felt lighter and the door seemed to call to him. Most importantly, it was easier to push away the memories from his afternoon in the lab.

The sign, when he reached it, buzzed softly in the night. He held a hand up towards it and felt an echoing buzz under his skin.

He stared at the lights for a moment more before continuing towards the building at the other end of the lot. It hadn’t been repaved in ages and was riddled with cracks. But the plants that grew up through them weren’t the normal grasses and dandelions. He wished Sam were with him to help him identify them.

Instead he knelt down and pulled out his phone to take a picture. They glowed slightly in the night, their stems ectoplasm-green with blue leaves and red bulbs. Danny reached out to touch one, only for the bulb to open and snap at his finger.

Danny laughed in surprise as he pulled his hand away. Something inside him relaxed. A night away would do him good and maybe he’d see other cool things besides the flowers.

The motel itself was a long, two-story building. The main entrance was smack in the middle of the building with rows of rooms extending to either side. Next to the office, a passageway through the building led to the back side of the building and had stairs leading up to the second level. It was clearly old, worn in the way only time could do.

The office door wasn’t automatic and the handle stuck slightly under his hand when he tried to turn it. But just a little bit of force had it opening.

Inside, the carpet was worn, beaten down and dull in the middle. The walls were covered in floral wallpaper rather than paint. Against one wall buzzed an ice machine and against the other sat a vending machine. A man with slicked back hair and a cane stared at the vending machine without moving. A two-seater couch was next to the vending machine with a wooden coffee table in front of it. Two women sat side-by-side on it: one in modern jeans and a windbreaker, the other in an old-fashioned dress that looked like it may have come from the sixties. They were holding magazines, but in the time it took Danny to look around, neither had flipped a page.

Cutting off the back of the room was a long desk, behind which sat a closed door. A woman sat behind the desk. Her blonde hair was cut shoulder length and curled inward. She wore bright red lipstick and heavy eye shadow. But strangest of all, she wasn’t moving. Her chest didn’t raise with her breathing, she didn’t shift in her seat. The women on the couch, at least, made the little movements people make when they’re engrossed in their reading. And the man at the vending machine was tapping his fingers on his cane as he tried to decide what to get.

But the woman at the counter was utterly still.

“Evening.” Danny’s voice was loud in the small room.

The woman in modern clothes cocked her head slightly as if trying to hear a distant noise.

“What are you reading?” Danny asked her.

She just shook her head slightly and looked back at her magazine. Slowly, she turned a page.

“Oh-kay,” said Danny to himself. He walked past them as he made his way to the desk.

As soon as he reached it, the woman came to life. She turned and smiled broadly at him and her finger started tapping on a paper log book that sat in front of her. “Well hello there. Welcome to the Two Ghost Motel!” She had a slight southern accent. “What can I do you for?”

“Uh, well. I heard you might have a room I could rent for the night.”

“Sure do,” she agreed with a nod. “Can certainly set you up with one of those.” She looked him up and down then nodded to herself. “Ah, yes. We knew you might need a place soon so we made sure you’d be able to find us. Glad to see you finally stopped in.”

“What, uh, what do you know about me?”

“Same as we know about any of our potential patrons, sweetie. That you’re a restless spirit that isn’t ready to pass on yet. Two Ghost was set up to give you a place to rest while you’re still on Earth.”

“How much would it cost for one night?”

The receptionist threw back her head and laughed. Her teeth were sharper than a normal human’s. Behind him, another voice joined in the laughter. Danny turned to see the modern-dressed woman was finally looking at him, though it was only to laugh at him.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck and smiled self-consciously. “I take it that was a stupid question?”

“Honey, there’s no charge for spending the night. Wouldn’t be much of a place to rest if we forced y’all to pay when no dead has money.”

“Right. So do you want anything in exchange? I’m pretty good at fixing things up.”

“All we want is for you to have a good night’s rest.” She turned the log book around. “I’ll just need you to put down your name here and I’ll give you your key.” She waved her hand to indicate a pen that was chained to the desk.

Danny grabbed it and hesitated just a moment before signing “Phantom” on the page. The ink was ectoplasm-green.

She took the book back and made her own marks before smiling at him. “Well that’s all in order. Now just to get you your room key.” She opened a drawer which was filled with a number of small envelopes, each with a handwritten number on them. She flipped through a few before stopping on one, seemingly at random, and pulling it out. “You’ll be in room 214. Leave the office, take a right. You can’t miss the stairs. Climb ‘em, continue to the back side of the motel, and take a right.”

Danny took the envelope from her. On it, the numbers 214 were written, with Two Ghost Motel in cursive below it. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Enjoy your stay at Two Ghost,” she smiled one more time at him, then looked down at her logbook and froze exactly as she had been when he’d first entered.

“I appreciate your help. You sure there’s nothing I can do in exchange for the room?”

But the woman didn’t stir again. Danny shifted from foot to foot. Should he try and wake her? Was she hurt? Was this a normal ghost thing? He tapped on the desk again.

“Ma’am?”

No response.

Danny looked down at his key and back at the woman. Hesitantly, he turned towards the door, but he couldn’t help looking back frequently. He paused by the women on the couch, but neither looked up from their magazines. At the vending machine, he peered around the man.

“Do they have anything that looks good?” he asked.

The man didn’t move, so Danny shifted until he was standing right next to him and could look inside the machine.

The bottom two rows were filled with drinks, water and Gatorade took up space right next to shots of ectoplasm. And were those beers? What? Above those were a few types of nuts and candy bars and chips. Danny only recognized half the brands.

Then he noticed the package of bottle caps. “Oh man, been ages since I’ve had some bottle caps. Mind if I grab those if you haven’t decided yet?”

The man hummed and moved to the side so Danny could get to the bill input and number pad.

“Thanks, sir! Appreciate it.” He pressed the numbers for the candy to see the price, but the machine whirled to life and it was dropped down without requiring Danny to put in a single cent. “Oh, shit, did I just use your money? What do you like? I’ll get it for you as an apology.”

“I don’t… I don’t remember,” said the man. His voice was very quiet, but clear. Danny couldn’t place his accent.

“Are you looking for a snack or a drink? Sweet or savory?”

“My son always pretended he didn’t like sweets. I was going back to him. How did I end up here?”

“Dunno, sir. But if you like candy, I’d recommend the skittles if you want chewy, m&m’s if you want basic chocolate.” He opened his own package. “Hold out your hand, I’ll give you a few of these so you can see if you like them.”

The man did and looked at his own hand as if he’d never seen it before. Danny turned his package so a few bottlecaps fell out. “Thank you,” said the man.

“Sure thing. Hope you enjoy!”

The man stared at his hand a moment longer before bringing one to his mouth and chewing the candy with a pensive look on his face. “I think I remember these, but it’s been so long. Thank you.”

“Anytime. My name’s Phantom; I’m in room 214 if you need anything.”

“Phantom. Pleasure to meet you. I’m Tom.”

“Well, Mr. Tom, hope you find something to eat that you like.”

Tom hummed and turned back to look at the vending machine. Danny took one last look at the receptionist, still entirely frozen, before slipping out the door. He slipped the package of bottlecaps into his pocket; he’d eat them in his room when he could take his mask off. In the passageway to the back of the motel, two boys played jacks under a flood light.

Danny couldn’t help but pause to watch them. He’d tried playing a few times when he was younger, but Tucker wasn’t into the game and none of the other kids had been willing to spend enough time with the weird ghost-hunter’s kid to teach him.

He waited until the kid who’d been picking up the jacks tossed them back on the ground before asking, “So, who’s winning?”

Both boys looked up at him with the same blank expression. The one on the right was a red-head while the one on the left was brown haired. They were about the same age, maybe ten years old and Danny wondered what happened to bring them here.

“I never learned to play,” Danny admitted, waving a hand to indicate their game. “So I don’t know how to tell. Or, is there even a winner in jacks? I might be completely off the mark.”

The red-head raised his hand. “I’m wining. I’m on the foursies round. Alan is only on twosies.”

“Matt cheated and made me drop my jacks.”

“It wasn’t cheating, just strategy,” protested Matt.

“Cheating,” repeated Alan.

“Prove it by beating your threesies round perfectly this time.”

Danny smiled to himself as the boys returned to their game and ignored his presence entirely.

“How’d you do that?” asked someone behind him.

Danny spun around to see a boy around his own age on the stairs leaning over the railing. He had dark hair and light eyes and was dressed in modern jeans and a t-shirt.

“Do what?” asked Danny.

“Get them to talk to you. Everyone ignores me entirely.”

Danny glanced back at the two boys who were entirely absorbed in their game and not paying Danny or the stranger any attention. “They’re mostly ignoring me, too.”

The kid rolled his eyes. “But they still talked to you. I haven’t even gotten that much.”

Danny shrugged. “I just asked them about their game.”

He groaned and kicked at the railing. “I’ve tried that. Who’re you, anyway?”

“I’m Phantom. Staying here for the night because, well, just because. Who’re you?”

“Jay.”

Danny cocked his head. “Like the bird?”

Jay’s eyes widened in surprise, then he grinned back. “That’s it! I knew I was forgetting something. I’m a bird. Thanks, Phantom.”

Danny laughed. “Sure thing, birdie.” He adjusted his backpack. “Let me put this down. I’m in room 214. What’s there to do in this motel?”

Jay shrugged. “More if you can get the other people to talk to us. But the TV always has your favorite show or movie on and the vending machine in the office always has your favorite snacks.”

As Danny made his way up the stairs, Jay fell in step besides him. “What’s your favorite movie?” he asked.

Jay shrugged again. “Dunno. But every time I turn on the TV it’s playing.”

“What did you watch last, then?”

Jay hesitated a moment and when Danny looked at him, he was frowning. “I don’t…” He shook his head. “I don’t forget things. My d— Someone made sure I could give accurate reports. But I don’t remember.” He looked at Danny with his brow furrowed. “Why don’t I remember?”

Danny shrugged. “Well, when we get to my room, we can turn on the TV and see what comes on.”

Jay brightened immediately at the suggestion. “Duh! That’ll remind me. Thanks, Phantom! Come on, your room’s this way. We’re neighbors; I’m in 215.” He jogged the rest of the way up the stairs so Danny had to speed up, too.

At the top of the stairs, Jay took a right and Danny’s door was several down.

“Home sweet home,” he said, gesturing to the door.

Danny laughed as he unlocked it. “So how long have you been here?” He pushed open his door and took in the space. The carpet looked like it hadn’t been upgraded since the seventies. A double bed sat against one wall covered by a faded, green paisley quilt. A low dresser and box TV against the opposite wall. Most of the wall facing the walkway was taken up with a large window, though the closed blinds kept it private.

It wasn’t until Danny stepped in and dropped his bags on the bed that he realized Jay had neither responded nor followed him in.

“Birdie? Jay? You okay?”

Jay was frozen outside the door staring out into the distance away from the motel. The back of the motel had very few lights, and the night made it seem like there was nothing out there but endless black. When Danny called out, Jay shook himself and grinned as he entered the room and sat down on Danny’s bed with enough force to bounce. “Course I’m okay! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You spaced out there for a minute.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “No I didn’t. Where’s your remote?” Before Danny could do anything, Jay was already standing and picking it up from the dresser. He turned on the TV. “Oooh, the Godfather! Told you it always has your favorite movie.”

“So The Godfather is your favorite?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it all the way through.”

“Then you’re in for a treat! Come on, sit next to me. I’ll make sure you notice all the good parts.”

Danny did as told. Which is when he remembered he still had the candy. Wordlessly, he held it out to Jay who grinned as he took a few to snack on.

-----

Chapter 2

Hope you enjoyed chapter 1! This was so much fun to write. I loved taking part in the event so much. Please consider checking out the rest of the art and fics from this event because there are so many talented people who took part. (My reading list is gonna be filled for at least the rest of the year, no lie.)

Just search the tag #ectoimplosion2023 to see what I mean.

[laurenairay]

taking on the world together - J. Oettinger

Summary: Gracelyn didn't realise how much of Boston she associated with Jake Oettinger until he was gone.

Warnings; light angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, ignoring the existence of COVID-19 to fudge the timelines, college years, one incident of mild harassment, some bad language.

Words: 11.4k

A/N: jumping in as a pinch hitter for @wyattjohnston’s summer fic exchange 2023! Writing for @jarmorie - I really hope you like this and I really hope I hit all your prompts! Spreading the Otter love as he deserves 💛 I was listening to this song and immediately got so inspired.

Tagging some fellow Otter fans: @senditcolton @extratragic @texanstarslove

Inspiration (and title) from Mine, by Taylor Swift

~~~

I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling, Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.

~~~

September 2016.

Gracelyn Davis had never left Fayetteville, West Virginia before. At least, not before her father drove her across the country to Boston University like he had done over the past two days. Her mother had decided being in the car for that long with them ‘wasn’t for her’, and considering her father was a man of very few words, the 12 hours, spread over two days with a sleep stop in the middle, had been spent split between rereading one of her favourite books and watching the world go by out the window.

It was a quiet ride. Gracelyn was used to it.

Butterflies filled her stomach as they pulled into campus parking, the crowds of people almost overwhelming. They weren’t even in the heart of the city and already this was the busiest place she’d ever seen. Gracelyn matched her father’s silence as they unloaded the car, using the offered hand trolley to help with her boxes, her father pushing those with her duvet and pillows piled on top while Gracelyn pulled two suitcases and a large duffel bag. It didn’t take long to get herself all signed in, and once they’d piled all her belongings in the empty dorm room, she knew it was time.

With a brief hug and a ‘do your best’, her father left. She hadn’t really expected much more. Even the fact that she’d finally left her small town was more than she could ever have dreamed of.

“Whoo! Go Terriers!”

Gracelyn watched out the third storey window as small parade of energetic people dressed in red, white, and black jogged past her building, smiling to herself at the cheerful chaos. This was nothing like Fayetteville. She loved it already.

“Hey roomie!”

Gracelyn turned around sharply, hand to heart in surprise at the voice in the doorway. The campus had assigned housing to all freshman who’d applied, and she’d been put in contact with a ‘Madison’ to get to know each other. All she really knew was that Madison had blonde hair, came from Queens, New York, and was going to be studying Digital Marketing. That, and she had very strong opinions on everything from Taylor Swift to correct recycling methods to sheet thread count. Blonde, tanned, perfect white smile, and all the confidence of a city-kid that Gracelyn didn’t have.

“Oops, didn’t mean to startle you. It’s nice to meet you, Gracelyn,” she grinned.

At least she was friendly too.

“Nice to meet you too, Madison. I prefer Gracie,” Gracelyn said, smiling shyly.

“Gracie it is! And please, call me Maddie. We’re going to be the best of friends. I can already tell,” she grinned, throwing her blonde hair up in a bun. “Do you mind if I put on some music while we unpack?”

~~~

May 2020.

How time had flown by. As Gracelyn pulled out the first of her cardboard boxes to at least attempt to start packing up her half of the dorm room, memories flooded in. Maddie hadn’t been wrong – they really had become the best of friends over the past four years, forming a wider group of six of them in total. Herself, Maddie, Luisa, Jenny, Chanel, and Daisy, all girls scattered across their original freshman dorm building floor, all of them forming bonds that stuck with them over the past four years.

Each of their had majored in a different subject, each other them came from different states, but each of them had been the loyal, sweet, kind friends that Gracelyn had always hoped for, so she knew that even though their time at college together had officially come to an end, she wouldn’t be losing these friendships any time soon.

Late night study sessions, movie nights, sleepovers, makeovers, campus concerts, dinners out – all of these memories scattered across polaroid photos, Instagram accounts and genuine memories. All of the things that Gracelyn was going to miss so terribly.

She was even going to miss the parties, the wild nights out that were so often accompanied by singing at the top of their lungs, dancing until their feet ached, and nasty mornings after.

Speaking of parties, Maddie wasn’t the only person who Gracelyn met in her first week in Boston who turned her life upside down.

~~~

September 2016.

“Are you sure I look okay?”

Maddie gave her an incredulous look. “Gracie baby, you have the best ass in our group, of course you look okay. You look stunning, own it.”

Gracelyn blushed heavily, shaking her head with a laugh. The two of them had made quick friends with a few girls down the hallway, and somehow they’d all persuaded Gracelyn to go out to a party tonight. Her first proper college party. Her first proper party in general, if she was being honest.

“You know what I mean. I’ve never…you know I’m not a party girl,” she sighed.

“I’m not a party party girl either. I’m a hang out with my friends kind of girl, with music, and drink we shouldn’t have access to, and we’re going to dance and sing and have fun, okay? If there happen to be cute boys there who stare at your incredible ass, then so be it,” Maddie grinned.

The confidence of this girl was incredible. No-one had ever boosted Gracelyn up like she did either.

“It’s not too much?”

Gracelyn looked back at herself in the full-length mirror that Maddie had brought with her, checking out the deep-red tight dress that clung to her every curve, borrowed from their friend Chanel. If her mother could see her now, she’d have a conniption. Then again…maybe that was a good thing. The Gracelyn Davis of Fayetteville would never have showed off her body like this – yeah, maybe she had a slight pouch on her belly, and maybe her thighs didn’t have a gap, and maybe ass was a bit more of a bubble than she would like…but maybe for the Gracelyn Davis of Boston that was a good thing.

“It’s definitely not too much. How about you throw a leather jacket over the top and wear those comfy black ankle boots, hm? That way it’s not over the top, but still dressy, hm?” Maddie suggested, unwinding her final blonde curl from her curling wand.

That…that was a good suggestion. Thank god for Maddie.

“That sounds good to me,” Gracelyn said shyly.

“Atta girl,” Maddie grinned, “Now help me pick which lipgloss says try anything and I’ll bite.”

Four lip gloss swatches later and the two of them had headed out of their dorm room, Maddie knocking on their friends’ doors until the six of them were on their way to the alleged party, wherever that was.

“Now remember, the hockey guys are all mostly a bit dumb and will probably get a little handsy after a few hours of drinking, so don’t feel like you can’t loudly tell them no. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, stay with a group of us girls, yeah? I’ve heard most of the team are harmless, but there’s bound to be a bad apple or two in the bunch,” Daisy said, rolling her eyes.

Brilliant. That didn’t settle Gracelyn’s nerves at all. Girl time it was.

“How did you find out about the Terriers party anyway Daisy-boo?” Maddie asked, looping her arm through Gracelyn’s.

She clung on with gratitude.

“Eh, this Sophomore was trying to impress the new freshman players – I said I’d think about turning up with a few friends,” Daisy said coolly, her smile sharp.

Again, the confidence. Incredible.

“Treat ‘em mean, I like it,” Jenny snickered.

“He was harmless enough. Sounded like a good excuse for a party anyway, and the upperclassmen are providing booze with the caveat that no-one underage gets super wasted, so I figured why not have our first party in style, right?” Daisy shrugged.

As the rest of the girls sounded their agreement, Gracelyn tried to relax. She knew that her friends wouldn’t let anything happen to her. They already had a game plan for if any of them felt uncomfortable. She didn’t have to drink anything more than what she actually wanted to. She could do this, right?

“Here we are!”

Daisy’s voice broke her out of her thoughts, turning her attention to a large house that already had red solo cups scattered across the lawn and loud music blasting. Maddie squeezed her arm, dropping it so their hands were linked, the other girls pairing off in twos too, making sure that none of them got separated while they wound their way through the crowd. Gracelyn tried not to get overwhelmed at the sheer number of people squeezed into the main living area, managing to smile as Daisy waved flirtatiously at a guy she could only imagine was the Unfortunate Sophomore.

“Let’s get some drinks!” Jenny said loudly, earning cheers from around them.

Gracelyn just stayed silent as beers were passed around, Maddie just winking at her. This was it. This was her first college party. This was her first college beer. She was finally here. She’d made it. So she took a big swig, letting the cool cheap alcohol run down her throat, Maddie just whooping before doing the same with her own drink.

Time seemed to blur together after that. Not in a drunk way, but in a way that everything was so new, so overwhelming, that Gracelyn just let it wash over her. She was trying to follow Maddie’s lead, going with the flow as her New York roommate would say, so by the time she’d finished her third beer, Gracelyn was more than ready for a glass of water and a breather.

Thankfully, Maddie and Daisy had been roped into playing beer pong, which was outside on the back porch, so while the other girls grabbed more beer, Gracelyn grabbed a bottle of water and hopped up on the porch railing to watch. Despite Maddie being eagle-eyed, Daisy was swaying a bit, so this would be interesting.

“Hey, is this space taken?”

Gracelyn turned her head to the sound of the voice, not sure if it was being directed at her or not, only to come face to face with the cutest guy she’d ever seen. Tall – at least 6ft 4, if not 6ft 5 – with broad shoulders, messy dark hair and a sweet smile. Pretty eyes too. He was talking to her?

“Uh, no, go for it. I’m just watching my friends about to play,” she said, jerking her head in the beer pong table’s direction.

“Ah, yeah some of my teammates are about to face them. The blonde girl looks dangerous,” he mused, leaning against the railing himself in the space to her left.

“Oh you have no idea,” Gracelyn grinned, making him laugh.

Actual natural human interaction with a cute guy. Wow.

“I’m Jake,” he said, holding out his hand.

He immediately looked embarrassed at himself for holding out his hand, but the fact that he didn’t backtrack made her smile.

“I’m Gracelyn. Or Gracie, to my friends,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you Gracie,” he said, smiling.

Bold. She liked it.

“Not much of a drinker?” he asked.

She frowned until he shook his own cup and looked down at her water bottle, and immediately her cheeks flushed. Was he making fun of her?

“Um, I…”

She trailed off, before clearing her throat. No damn it, she was Gracelyn Davis of Boston now.

“I already had three cups of beer and I didn’t party back home, so I’m trying to pace myself. A little lame maybe but it’s literally first week of freshman year so…” she said, shrugging.

“I feel that,” the guy…Jake nodded, smiling still, “And it’s not lame. It’s my first week of freshman year too and I know that the freshmen will be clearing up tomorrow morning, so I don’t want to be horrendous after my first team party.”

He was a freshman too? Built like that? And he was a hockey player? Damn, what was he doing talking to her?

“Ouch, I’m sorry you have to clean up,” she said, grimacing as right-on-cue someone threw up over the porch railing a little ways down from them.

Jake grimaced himself, before shaking his head. “It’ll be worth it to play on the team.”

“Go Terriers?” she offered.

Jake just laughed, throwing his head back. Damn. Damn he looked so good.

“Alright boys, you’re going down!” Maddie said loudly.

The crowd cheered and whooped, Gracelyn and Jake included. Daisy took her first throw, immediately sinking the ball into a cup, clearly more sober than she looked. What a hustler - this was going to be a messy one. The freshman hockey player groaned but laughed, drinking the beer in the targeted cup down in one go, earning more cheers for himself.

“I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing more of each other, Gracie,” Jake said, smiling wide.

For some reason, she had a feeling that he was right.

~~~

May 2020.

Yeah, Jake was…Jake was different. Right from that first night, that first meeting, the two of them had stayed in touch, slowly becoming friends through texting as well as more hockey team parties. Maddie and their friends always dragged her along to any party at the hockey house, especially when Daisy started hooking up with the Unfortunate Sophomore, and the more she went to, the more she actually looked forward to them, mainly because at some point in the evening Jake would find her and the rest was history.

He wasn’t a rowdy dumbass like the other college players he lived with. Sure, she was cautious, a little introverted, always hesitant, but Jake was sweet and kind and patient, and never pushed her more than she was socially capable of in the moment. Maybe it helped that he was a goaltender – which she’d found out the second time she met him because someone dared him to show off his box splits and he did so without hesitation – because he was so different to all his friends, but she liked it.

She liked him.

He was a little more focused, more responsible maybe for his age, but still encouraged her to come out of her shell. Over those first few months, she found herself slipping out of her old social binds of Gracelyn Davis from Fayetteville and into her new self of Gracelyn Davis of Boston, and so much of it was because of him.

That’s why it hurt so much still, when everything changed.

There were so many memories of their friendship over the years, entwined with those memories of Gracelyn and her girlfriends, more than she dared to think about while she attempted to make a start on packing up her college life. She still had over a week left on campus, until after commencement weekend, but that didn’t mean she could put everything off until last minute. That just wasn’t the way her brain worked.

She could at least make a start on closing this chapter of her life.

But in the first shoebox she moved off of one of her shelves, she found a couple dozen polaroids, all ones she’d taken off being pinned on her noticeboard in Junior year – all ones of her and Jake. All photos of memories that made her heart ache all over again, flashing across her mind as she continued to look through them one by one.

~~~

November 2016.

“Hey, do you want to take a walk?”

Gracelyn looked up from her notebook, seeing Jake standing in the doorway of her dorm room.

“How did you get up here?” she asked, placing her pen and paper to the side with a smile.

“I bumped into Chanel and Luisa on the way through,” he shrugged, “They said you’ve been studying in here since your last class ended, and, uh, encouraged me to do something to change that.”

Yeah that sounded like Chanel and Luisa. Meddlers. Her friends weren’t wrong though – she really had been studying in her room since her last class ended, knowing that Maddie was still out in a class of her own and there was a movie night on campus later, so she wanted to get ahead of herself. It was only month three of freshman year after all – she couldn’t afford to get behind yet.

Still…a small break couldn’t hurt right?

“You want to go for a walk?” she mused.

“Yeah, it’s not snowing out so I thought it might be nice?” he said, smiling shyly.

Oh what a sweetheart. In what world would she say no to that?

“And you’re asking little old me?” she grinned, kicking off her slippers.

“You’re one of my best friends Gracie, you know that. And you’re definitely the only sane one,” he said, shrugging with a smile.

Well that much was true.

“I’m in,” she laughed.

It didn’t take her long to slip into more appropriate boots for the weather, as well as a thick coat, knitted hat and gloves to help out with the cold, and soon enough the two of them were walking out of campus along the Charles River.

“So what’s really going on?” Gracelyn asked, when the crowds around them had thinned out to only a couple of people.

Jake opened his mouth to protest, before closing it again with a huffed laugh. “You can read me that easily, huh?”

“You’ve got a pretty expressive face,” she shrugged, although made sure to smile so he knew she didn’t mean it as a bad thing, “And you’ve never wanted to just go on a walk before. Not that I mind, obviously – it’s always good to get fresh air and you know I like hanging out with you – I just hope that nothing bad has happened?”

He quickly shook his head but then grimaced, wiggling his hand to indicate it was something so-so. Hm. This was going to take more than their usual casual talking, she could tell.

“Do you want to grab a coffee and find somewhere to sit?” she suggested.

“Sure.”

It didn’t take long to pick up a couple of lattes each, and even less time to find an isolated snow-free stone bench to sit on, not far from the Hatch Shell, and by that point Jake looked a little less tense.

“Thank you, Gracie,” he murmured.

“For what?” she asked, confused, “we haven’t even started talking properly yet.”

“You’re giving me the chance to get something off my chest that I haven’t been able to bring up to anyone else. Or that I feel I can bring up to anyone else. I appreciate it, that’s all,” Jake shrugged, taking a sip of his drink.

“Well now I’m worried,” she said, trying to make it a joke to hide her true concern.

What was wrong with him? Was he sick? He couldn’t be failing any classes, right?

She waited in silence for him to gather his thoughts, taking in the sight of the river slowly flowing by, until Jake finally cleared his throat.

“There’s been scouts coming to hockey games. NHL scouts, for me, following on from my time in the NTDP,” he said softly.

“Okay. Okay, that’s a good thing, right?” she said, frowning slightly.

She may not know much about ice hockey or the NHL or the NTDP, but she did know how important it all was to Jake. So what was the issue?

“I guess? But…it’s also so much pressure.”

Oh.

Oh.

Oh bless his heart.

“I can understand that. That does sound like a lot of pressure. What exactly is worrying you about it?” she asked.

The more she understood, the more she could help, right?

Jake let out a shaky breath, looking down at his hands for a moment, before lifting his head to look out over the river in front of them.

“I’m nervous. Playing in the NHL…it’s all I’ve ever wanted. And it’s so hard to even be considered as a goaltender in the big leagues so the fact that they’re looking at me? Assessing me? It’s a lot,” he explained, voice quiet, “And it’s not like I can even talk to the rest of the team about how nervous it makes me either.”

Because so many of the guys won’t get a shot in the NHL like the scouts are considering for him.

Oh this sweet hearted boy.

What really made her sad though was the look of hesitance tainted with self-deprecation in his eyes. He didn’t deserve to look or feel like that, not ever.

“Hey, Jake, will you look at me?” Gracelyn asked.

It took a couple of seconds but he eventually did, emotion splashed all over his face.

“I know it’s scary. And I know it makes you nervous. This is your dream, and you’re pouring your whole self into it. But, Jake, these scouts wouldn’t be coming if you weren’t already proving how good you were, right?”

“I mean…”

He trailed off, wiggling his hand so-so again, making her shake her head.

“I mean it, Jake. If there wasn’t something in your gameplay that they liked, they wouldn’t be coming to see you. Just show them what you’ve got. You don’t have to be anyone other than yourself, okay? You’re Jake Oettinger, badass Terrier and incredible goaltender, and there’s nothing you can’t do,” she said firmly.

Jake choked out a laugh, hanging his head briefly before looking back at her. She chose to ignore the way his eyes were shining slightly.

“How do you always know exactly what to say?” he murmured.

Gracelyn just smiled, a light blush dusting her cheeks. “Well I don’t know about that…but I’m always here for you, whenever you need me.”

“So all I need to do to get your undivided attention is to text you, meet you at our spot?” he grinned.

Her blush deepened, traitorous butterflies filling her stomach.

“This is our spot?” she said, voice far breathier than she cared to admit.

“It is now,” he shrugged, “just you and me.”

Well damn, she liked the sound of that. Did he even know how that came across? What it implied?

“Alright, deal,” she nodded, trying to keep her cool.

“Besides, I can’t have you sharing your wisdom with everyone, right? Gotta keep some of that good magic all for myself. God knows I need all the help I can get. You don’t mind, right?” he grinned.

She couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from her chest, her head tilting back as it rang out loud and clear. His teasing request was more than a little shameless – with anyone else she would’ve been put off by the audacity, but with Jake? It was just charming, endearing her to him more than ever. When she’d finally composed herself, Jake had a slightly stunned look on his face – probably from the vivacity of her laughter – so she just smiled widely at him. How could she not?

“You truly are one of a kind, Jake Oettinger,” she giggled, finishing the last of her coffee.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” he said, giving a little shrug as he grinned.

Like she could ever insult him.

“We should take a photo,” Jake said suddenly, digging in his coat pocket.

“What?”

“To keep this memory, of finding ‘our’ place. Of you giving me the advice I needed. Of me making you laugh like that for the first time,” Jake explained, making her smile at his enthusiastic listing, “one of the guys bought a bunch of cheap polaroid cameras at the weekend and I still have one in my pocket.”

“Well in that case…” she teased.

Jake just laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder, guiding her to lean into his body. Gracelyn just tilted her knitted hat-covered head to rest against his and threw up a peace sign, smiling widely as Jake raised the camera in his hand. FLASH. She blinked a couple of times, listening to the camera whirring, but smiled softly to herself as Jake kept his arm around her. She appreciated the warmth from his body, if nothing else. With his free hand, he dropped the camera in his lap and pulled free the developing polaroid, shaking it a few times until the picture started to become clearer.

“Oh yeah, that’s a good one,” Jake said happily, handing it over for her to see.

Gracelyn felt her breath hitch in her chest as she looked at their photo. Their matching wide smiles alone showed her exactly how happy he’d been in that moment, but the fact that it was with her? That was everything. She didn’t even know what to say.

“I love it,” she eventually managed to murmur.

“Then it’s all yours,” Jake said simply.

“What? No, it’s your camera,” she said, shaking her head.

But Jake just squeezed her shoulder, nudging her with his chest. “I insist. We’ll have years yet to take more photos together.”

She could only hope. Gracelyn just nodded silently, sliding the photo into her pocket with a grateful smile, leaning back into his chest as he put the camera back into his pocket without moving his arm from round her shoulders still. As her heart started beating all that little bit faster, she knew she was in trouble. She may not be particularly experienced in the nature of romance, but she knew from friends, old and new, what it was like to get a crush on someone.

How could she not start falling for him in this exact moment?

Gracelyn had always promised herself to keep her guard up, especially around her heart. Her parents’ relationship was toxic enough, their marriage fuelled by arguments and spite and cold disdain, and she’d always sworn to herself that she would never end up like them. There was a reason why she had no intention of going back home for Thanksgiving or the Christmas break. But being here with Jake right now? Tucked under his arm with him holding her against his chest after all those sweet words? It was dangerous, for her emotions and her resolve.

If she didn’t get this under control soon, there was no telling the damage this crush could do.

~~~

June 2017.

Gracelyn had been dreading June 23rd ever since she learned how significant the day was. Significant to Jake, anyway. Today was the first day of the 2017 NHL draft, and she already knew that Jake was predicted to go decently high in the first round – Gracelyn Davis of Fayetteville hadn’t a clue about any of this but Gracelyn Davis of Boston now knew all too much – so she could only imagine how stressed he was today already. Over the rest of freshman year, she’d gotten more and more into watching hockey, mainly because of Jake asking her to come to games as his ‘good luck charm’, so she knew that scouts had been following him for quite some time still. Spending so much time with him this year – including studying, brunches, parties, and campus events, on top of all the games she’d gone to – hadn’t lessened her crush in the slightest, but things were definitely much more manageable. She knew what she could and couldn’t handle, and it helped that she knew Jake had no idea how she felt either, so their friendship had only gone from strength to strength.

Today could change everything. She didn’t know if she was ready for that.

While Jake and his family were in Chicago ready for the draft day, Gracelyn was at her summer job – administration at the West Virginia Science Adventures summer day camps, right there in Fayetteville. She worked 9-4 every day, helping to make sure that everything ran smoothly, and it meant that she was out of her house essentially all day, which could only ever be a good thing. That, and it also allowed her to surreptitiously listen to the broadcast of Jake’s draft day while she was typing up the stock request forms that her supervisor needed from her.

She took her time typing, making sure everything was meticulous while she listened to the draft picks start getting called.

And then came the 26th pick, from the Dallas Stars.

“From Boston University, Jake Oettinger.”

There it was. He’d done it! The first goalie of the 2017 draft was picked, and it was him! She couldn’t stop the happy squeal that left her lips, glad that no-one else was in the office cabin right now, especially since she couldn’t help the stupid smile on her face or the tears in her eyes.

Jake had been drafted to the NHL, just as he’d always dreamed. It was everything he’d ever wanted, and he deserved it so much, and even though she knew it meant he was leaving her behind, how could she not be proud of him?

To: Jake From: Gracelyn You did it! Congratulations! I’m so proud of you! I told you that everything would pay off! I know you’re busy so don’t worry about texting back. But just know that I am so so happy for you, okay? Speak to you later ❤️

With a breathy laugh, she put her phone down, exiting out of her messages and turning off the broadcast. She didn’t care what else happened in the draft – she only cared about Jake. Now that was done, she could get on with her job without feeling guilty, even if the buzzing in her veins kept that smile on her face for the rest of her day.

It wasn’t until Gracelyn was home that she got a message back from Jake, after she’d cooked and eaten dinner by herself and was relaxing with a book in her bedroom.

To: Gracelyn From: Jake Thank you so much Gracie. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling. This is crazy. I actually got drafted. The Stars drafted me! I’m still committing to BU, for more development, but I can’t believe they want me!

Gracelyn frowned slightly at the reply from Jake, confused. He wasn’t going straight to Dallas? He was staying in Boston? Why?

To: Jake From: Gracelyn I thought you wanted to jump right into the NHL? That’s the dream right? Don’t get me wrong, I will miss you. But this is your dream?

Gracelyn chewed her bottom lip while she waited for him to reply, rereading over the same few pages until her phone buzzed a few more times. She felt so stupid for the way her heart was beating like crazy…but this was important. This was Jake.

To: Gracelyn From: Jake Oh you’re not getting rid of me that easily, Gracie Davis. This is definitely the right thing for me right now, and I know the Stars will understand. Boston is still where I need to be right now, so you’ll see me in September! ❤️

Well if that was what he wanted, she wasn’t going to complain. Still, it would only be a matter of time before Jake took his dream in both hands and leapt for it, so she would have to make the most of the time she had with him. That was all she could hope for, right?

~~~

September 2017.

“See, I told you I’d come back.”

Gracelyn jumped at the familiar deep voice, her friends just cackling at her reaction to Jake silently creeping up behind her, but she found herself smiling at him as she turned around to face him properly.

“One of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack with this sneaking up behind me,” she mused, hands on hips.

“Well we wouldn’t want that, would we?” Jake grinned.

With that, he slung his arm around her shoulder, tugging her into a hug which she returned happily, hiding her blushing face in his chest slightly before pulling away. Jake didn’t drop his arm from over her shoulders though, making Maddie smirk at her, and Gracelyn could only be grateful that Jake seemed not to notice.

“Alright superstar, let’s get some food,” Gracelyn said, sighing dramatically.

“I missed you too, Gracelyn Davis,” Jake laughed.

I missed you more, Jake Oettinger.

“WELCOME BACK PARTY AT THE HOCKEY HOUSE!”

The crowd around them whooped, Luisa and Daisy looking particularly happy about the potential frivolity, whereas Gracelyn just smiled at the interruption.

“You and Maddie are still rooming together this year, right?” Jake murmured, leaning down so only she could hear him among the ruckus.

He remembered them talking about that?

It was true though – Gracelyn and all her friends had decided to move out of freshman dorms and get neighbouring apartments in the dorm buildings available for Sophomore students. Maddie and Gracelyn had decided to stay sharing a dorm, whereas Luisa and Daisy were roommates now, as were Chanel and Jenny. It was an arrangement that worked perfectly for them, and she couldn’t wait to actually have all of her friends living together.

“Yeah we are, why?” she said softly in return.

“Well I know that you’ll definitely be coming to the party if your girls are there to persuade you,” Jake teased.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “I would’ve come anyway.”

“You would?” Jake asked, surprised.

There were so many things she could’ve said in that moment, both innocent and incriminating, but in the end she chose just to shrug. It was the safest option.

“Food! Let’s go!” Maddie said cheerfully.

As her roommate linked their arms together, Jake’s arm slipped off her shoulders, making Gracelyn look up at him properly. “Are you coming, Jake?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, nodding quickly.

After eating lunch and hanging out for a few hours, Jake and some of his lingering friends went back to the team house to set up for the party, leaving Gracelyn and her friends to get ready. Just like freshman year, their first party of Sophomore year was going to be at the hockey house, so they spent their time getting all dressed up in pretty eye-catching dresses (with a little pregaming, thanks to the stock they’d all brought along from home), and by the time they arrived at the hockey team house the party was in full swing.

Gracelyn spotted Jake easily, and he waved enthusiastically at her from across the room, making her friends laugh and pull her into the kitchen to get drinks of their own. Over the next few hours, Gracelyn and her friends alternated between drinking in the kitchen and dancing on the make-shift living room dancefloor, celebrating the return to college and the start of the new school year. It was everything she’d missed about Boston, having fun with her friends, finally feeling like she was back where she belonged.

Soon enough though, Gracelyn needed to make a trip to the bathroom, leaving her friends where they were in the kitchen and heading upstairs to the nicer of the bathrooms that Jake had always let her use. But on her return trip downstairs, her path was blocked in the front corridor, by a guy she didn’t recognise. He was taller than her, bigger than her, and much drunker than her – she could smell the beer on his breath from a few feet away but even more so as he stepped even closer.

“Well hello. I haven’t seen you around before,” he drawled.

What the hell?

“I’m a sophomore. I’m not new,” she frowned, confused.

“Shh, sweetheart, don’t talk so much. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better, hm? That ass of yours? Damn.”

What the actual fuck.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not interested,” Gracie said shortly.

“Don’t be like that baby, I’m a real nice guy,” he grinned.

The sleaze dripped off of his words like oil, making her recoil, but it was as she moved to step around him that he grabbed her arm, holding her in place. Fuck. Oh fuck.

“Let’s try again, hm?”

“No,” she said shakily.

“No-one says no to me. You should be nicer to guys that show you interest, you know.”

Gracelyn just froze in place, mind blank and body stiff. This had never happened before, being confronted like this, and it didn’t matter how much advice she’d been given over the years, it all had flown away in the moment.

She took a deep breath, ready to yell out for help, when a familiar large body appeared by her side. Jake. She felt like crying in relief, even more so as her friend easily knocked the drunk guy’s hand off her arm.

“She’s not interested. Move on, bud,” Jake said firmly, stepping up close, making the guy look up at him with a glare.

“Back off man, I was here first,” the creep slurred.

What the actual fuck. She wasn’t prize cattle at an auction.

“I said no,” Gracelyn repeated.

With her desperate glance up at him, Jake clenched his jaw and his fists, drawing himself up to his full height as he pushed himself between Gracelyn and the creep.

“Last chance. Fuck off,” Jake said angrily.

It was all she could do to clutch at the back of his tshirt, hands shaking and heart racing.

“Whatever man, she’s ugly anyway,” the guy scowled.

She inhaled sharply as a pang of hurt ran through her chest, only to gasp out louder as Jake lurched forward, pinning the guy to the opposite wall with his forearm across his throat.

“Apologise, asshole. You’re not worth the air she breathes,” Jake all but growled.

The creep choked a little, trying to get Jake’s arm off him, and it was only then that Gracelyn noticed the crowd that was starting to form around them.

“Hey, Jake, he isn’t worth it. Don’t get in trouble because of this scumbag,” she pleaded, resting her hand on his shoulder.

Jake looked down at her with pursed lips, waited a beat or two, before nodding. She let out a shaky breath as Jake shoved the guy into the wall one last time before stepping backwards, still standing himself in front of her.

“Stay away from her, you hear me?” Jake demanded.

“Whatever freak,” the guy muttered, storming off.

Jake’s frame tensed but Gracelyn just reached for his forearm, desperate for Jake not to follow after him. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to get into a fight because of her. The creep wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t worth it.

“What was that all about?”

Jake turned around to see his captain frowning behind them as the crowd dispersed, and scowled again.

“That guy wouldn’t leave Gracie alone when she told him no. Was making her uncomfortable, a real fucking creep,” Jake muttered, clenching his hands for a moment again.

“Oh shit, for real? Damn, Gracelyn, sorry about that. I’ll make sure he’s kicked out,” Jake’s captain frowned.

What?

But before she could voice her confusion, the Senior walked off, leaving Gracelyn and Jake alone.

“He’s got a no tolerance policy for sexual harassment,” Jake murmured.

Well…that explained a few things. But still…

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I think so? I just…I froze. Everything about that guy screamed at me to run away and all I could do was freeze,” she sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair, “I feel so stupid.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. So not stupid at all. I hate that you ever experienced this at all, you know? You should never…”

She could see his anger rising again and did the only thing she could think of. She quickly wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug, burying her face in his shirt, just letting herself breathe and willing him to calm his anger back down. Jake froze briefly in surprise before quickly hugging her back, clutching at her firmer than she’d anticipated.

“Thank you, Jake. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there,” she murmured.

Jake stiffened at her words before nodding, squeezing her body before letting go to look down at her properly.

“I’m glad we never have to find out what could’ve happened. I’m pretty sure you would’ve snapped and decked him, Gracie Davis, just as he deserved, but I’m glad I could at least help,” Jake said firmly.

She laughed softly but shrugged. “You did more than help. Superstar and knight in shining armour? I’m glad you’re in my life hey?”

Jake huffed out a laugh and slung his arm over her shoulder as usual, guiding them both into the kitchen towards the beer keg.

“I told you you’re not getting rid of me that easily. I meant it,” he said, smiling sweetly down at her, “So let’s get back to the party as it should be, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I think Maddie’s about to kick some ass in beer pong if you wanted to watch?” she mused.

“Just like when we met a year ago. Perfect,” Jake grinned.

~~~

March 2019.

Jake didn’t leave for Texas in Sophomore year. Didn’t sign an entry level contact, didn’t leave Boston, didn’t leave the Terriers. Didn’t leave Gracelyn. All throughout the school year, they only got closer and closer, somehow spending even more time together than they did previously – any time that Gracelyn wasn’t with her friends or studying (and even then, sometimes she was studying with Jake), the two of them could usually be found together. It seemed like the welcome back party of Sophomore year triggered something protective in Jake, and he always made sure that she was okay wherever they went, even to the point of scaring off guys regardless of whether they were being creeps or not. Her friends – especially Maddie – called Jake a cockblock, but it wasn’t like Gracelyn protested at all. Her crush on Jake hadn't lessened at all, so why would she be interested in other guys? Especially if Jake wanted to be by her side.

He was always her partner in study groups, in beer pong, in video games, and he always sat next to her when they went out for food, to the movies, to campus events. She was even pretty sure that some of the freshmen on his team thought they were actually dating, considering how often they asked her where he was if they couldn’t find him.

As she said, she wasn’t going to complain. She had Jake in her life in ways that she never could’ve hoped for – and the longer he didn’t leave Boston to sign a contract with the Stars, the more her confidence built, waiting for a moment when she felt sure enough to actually tell him how she felt. It was a lofty goal, but each day that passed, she got a little closer.

When Jake was named an alternate captain prior to the 2018-2019 season, her hope soared.

Throughout the start of Junior year, Jake’s responsibilities to the team kept him longer at practices, longer in team meetings, but that didn’t mean he didn’t put in the extra effort with Gracelyn still, even going as far as to stay behind in Boston with her for Thanksgiving to spend that time together that they hadn’t really been able to. Her friends all thought she was nuts for not just confessing, but she was still too scared. So scared to lose him, the most important relationship in her life, the most important friendship, so she continued to stay silent, just grateful for whatever time that her friendship with Jake could afford her.

She knew that he appreciated her – he always made sure she knew it – and she knew that she wouldn’t trade what they had right now for anything, unless she knew for sure that it wasn’t going to all blow up in her face.

She had to know, before she took that risk.

Before Gracelyn knew it, it was the beginning of March, with Spring Break coming up right around the corner. Maddie was out to lunch with her boyfriend Jackson (business major – a little dry, but adored her friend), so Gracelyn was finishing off a paper in her room alone, having spent some time with her other girlfriends that morning over coffee. She was just finishing off her last editing readthrough when her dorm door was knocked on, in a familiar pattern that made her smile.

“Come in Jake! The door’s unlocked!”

Gracelyn hit save on the word document before closing her laptop, Jake walking into the room quickly. The serious look on his face made her heart clench a little, even more so as he sat down next to her on the bed in silence.

“Hey Gracie, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Of course not. What’s up?” she asked, worried.

“I just…I wanted to tell you before I told anyone else. Well, other than coach, but yeah.”

She knew it.

She knew it.

She knew it.

“Tell me what?” she asked as lightly as she could, feigning ignorance as he sat down beside her.

“I signed a three-year entry level contact with the Stars last weekend. And I’m heading to Texas to play in the AHL in a few days time.”

She was too late.

She was too late.

She was too late.

“Oh Jake that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! But it’s happening quick, no?”

Jake huffed out a laugh, nodding as he smiled weakly at her. “It happened a lot faster than I thought. But my agent said this is the best option for me, to start my hockey career off. I’ve got to follow my dream, you know?”

Even if it meant leaving her behind. She’d been prepared for this for a long time. That didn’t make it hurt any less. But this wasn’t about her – this was about him, and everything he’d worked for, and everything he still had to work for in the future.

“Of course you do, Jake. Anyone that tells you differently is an ass. Follow your dreams and don’t look back, hey?”

It was only then that he noticed the tears in her eyes and quickly shook his head. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Gracie Davis. You’re one of my best friends, and I’m not losing you. I can’t.”

She choked out a wet noise, half laugh half sob, and just shook her head.

“You go and be the superstar that you are destined to be, okay?” she said, smiling sadly at him, “The rest of us will figure out the rest.”

Jake pulled her into the tightest hug he ever had done, burying his face in her dark hair.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life.”

Gracelyn just stayed silent, letting her tears fall.

~~~

May 2020.

She never did tell him how she felt. He never did find out how much she loved him. Maybe it was for the best, when their texts slowed over the summer of 2019, because by the time Gracelyn had started up her final year of college in the September of 2019, she’d hardened up her heart enough to make it through the year without him.

She hadn’t realised how much of Boston she associated with Jake until he was gone.

The pizza place where she and her girlfriends would meet up with the hockey team after a winning game. The coffee cart they always picked up a coffee to go before lectures or study sessions or hangouts on the quad. The amazing smoothie bar that didn’t actually overcharge students and gave decent portion sizes. The little independent cinema that always smelled like burnt popcorn and only ever had two films running at one time. The Terriers ice hockey games in general. Even the yoga classes where Jake would maintain – and show off – his flexibility had become a no-go for her, which felt ridiculous the more she thought about it.

Gracelyn particularly avoided ‘their spot’ near the Hatch Shell along the Charles River, the place they’d gone to at least once a week for nearly two and a half years, unable to get all of the time spent relaxing there together out of her head, the time they would just sit and watch the world go by.

Two and a half years of friendship, gone with the wind – and she never expected to see him again. How was she supposed to cope with that?

She knew all of her friends worried about her, hated how she retreated into her shell throughout the whole of Senior year. Gracelyn did try to keep up her life as it had been before, going to parties like she used to, hockey games with her friends, but after a particularly awkward party at the hockey house in November, Gracelyn was done.

After a mild intervention before the winter break with Maddie, Luisa, Jenny, Chanel, and Daisy, following a couple of weeks of complete hermit behaviour, Gracelyn made a compromise – she would no longer go to parties or have anything to do with the hockey team, but would still go to everything else. She just couldn’t – she and Jake had always found their way together, talking off to the side away from the chaos of that side of her old social life, and for all the parties she’d attempted to go to in September to November, she’d struggled more than she’d expected – so that was her bottom line, it had to be a big no.

So life went on – Gracelyn went to all the fun campus events she used to, still went out for lunches and dinners and girls nights and all the things she’d always done with hers friends, but for her own sanity she had to stop the major things that she associated with Jake. It was the only way she was going to get through her Senior year, the only way she was going to get through her heartbreak that wasn’t even really heartbreak.

At least studying for her final papers, her final exams, gave her all the genuine excuses she needed not have that social side of herself any more anyway.

When it came to finishing off her final week of exams in May, Gracelyn was drained. She pushed herself to her limits, maybe even further than she should’ve done, andby the time she stumbled back to her dorm after her final exam, it was all she could do to collapse onto her bed into a much-needed nap.

It wasn’t until hours later that a gentle hand shook her awake, the smell of Thai food filling nose.

“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty, I’ve brought dinner,” Maddie grinned.

Gracelyn blearily opened her eyes, sitting upright with more difficulty than she expected, accepting the offered food with a thankful groan that just made her friend laugh. The two of them ate quietly, the open window giving them the ambience of campus, and Gracelyn found herself smiling as she relaxed for what felt like the first time in ages.

“You’ve finished your final exam now, right?”

Gracelyn just nodded, smiling through the noodles in her mouth, making Maddie laugh. She knew that her roommate had finished two days ago, seeing as Gracelyn’s exams were some of the last of all the Seniors.

“So…there’s a hockey house party tonight…”

Gracelyn stopped chewing, narrowing her eyes, to which Maddie just laughed and held her hands up in surrender.

“I know you haven’t been to parties all year. Not since…he left. But this is our last big blow-out, you know? And you shouldn’t let a dumb boy ruin the last big college party, right?”

Gracelyn huffed out a breath, setting her food down to the side, just running a hand through her dishevelled hair. Parties just hadn’t been the same since Jake left in Junior year, especially not ones at the hockey house – she’d stopped going to them for a reason.

But maybe Maddie was right. Jake wasn’t here. He’d left. She was still here and she was graduating and she shouldn’t let herself feel so sour when she’d worked so hard. Fuck it. This was her last week of college – she wasn’t going to hold herself back any more.

“I’m going to need to shower. And shave my legs. And I have no idea what to wear,” Gracelyn eventually said.

Maddie just squealed, clapping her hands together.

“Go and shower now. Shave everything. Leave the outfit to me and the girls. Tonight is going to be the best night ever, okay?” Maddie said happily, whipping out her phone, no doubt to text their friends of the plans.

“Can I at least finish my food first?”

Maddie just laughed, not even looking up from where she was typing.

So Gracelyn took a shower, shaved, primped, and dressed up in clothes she hadn’t worn in months. The girls all rallied around her while they got ready too, all chipping in with her hair and make-up, making her heart clench in gratitude for her incredible friends and their love. The evening, the party, was going to be the best, just as Maddie had promised. She could feel it in her bones.

She knew that a few of her former social crowd glanced at her in surprise as their group walked through the hockey house, but Maddie didn’t give her a chance to get self-conscious in the grey bodycon dress, pressing a shot of vodka and a beer into her hands with a big smile.

“We’re graduating, motherfuckers!”

Jenny’s whoop raised a loud cheer in the kitchen, more shots being passed around quickly, and it allowed Gracelyn to relax a little in the familiar atmosphere, almost like nothing had changed at all. The whole evening passed in a blur of dancing and drinking and laughter and beer pong, Gracelyn sinking into the support of her girlfriends to let loose, finally shaking off all the tension and stress of the past few weeks of exams. Of the past year, if she was being honest.

It wasn’t until after 1am that the group separated out a little bit, Daisy and Gracelyn on the makeshift dancefloor with the other scattered through the kitchen, bathroom and outside. The two of them sang along to the upbeat Megan Thee Stallion song, dancing free and wild, until a cute guy shyly approached Daisy, dancing with her briefly before whispering in her ear and making Daisy giggle. Then her friend looked over to her, and Gracelyn knew exactly what she was silently asking.

“Go! Go make-out!” Gracelyn grinned, shooing Daisy away teasingly.

Her friend just giggled and smiled her thanks, slinking off deeper into the crowd with the cute guy, making her smile. Why shouldn’t her friend have a little fun, hey?

Gracelyn moved out to the edge of the dancefloor and glanced around the room, trying to spot Maddie or Luisa or Chanel or Jenny, but the person her eyes landed on instead made her audibly gasp. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t here. How could he be here?

What the hell. What was he doing here? Why was he back in Boston, after all this time? Why was he here right now at the same party was her?

Was she dreaming?

Then Jake turned his head and spotted her too, smiling widely.

No this was definitely a nightmare. Gracelyn couldn’t move as he walked over towards her, and it was all she could do to force a smile on her face as he stopped in front of her, towering over her as he always had.

“Hey Gracie. It’s been a while.”

Yeah no shit.

His sweet smile and gentle voice still sent shivers down her spine though.

“What are you doing here?” she asked coolly.

“I wanted to surprise everyone. I know I couldn’t finish off my degree here but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to see everyone graduate.”

Wanted to surprise everyone? See everyone graduate?

Was he even going to tell her he was there?

Obviously not.

“Well it was nice to see you, Jake. Good luck next season,” she said, smiling politely.

The confused expression on his face, paired with his flinch at her tone of voice, almost made her defensive walls crumble down – but she’d made that mistake before, letting her guard down around him. Three years she spent letting him slowly take over her heart, and she knew that if she let him in one last time that she’d never recover. She just couldn’t handle it again.

“Gracie, wait,” he murmured, reaching out towards her.

Hearing her nickname fall from his lips was almost enough to stop her, but she stepped back ever so slightly out of his grasp, enough that his confusion turned to hurt.

“Goodbye, Jake,” she said softly.

And with that, she made herself walk off, heading straight for the kitchen, hoping to find someone, anyone, because by the time she’d steadied her breathing through the house, she was done. She was so done, with the hockey house, with the party, with the whole night. It was all she could do to force a smile on her face when she found a few of her friends in the kitchen – Maddie, Chanel, and Luisa – Maddie’s eyes immediately narrowing at her expression.

“Hey, I’m exhausted, it’s been such a long day. I’m going to head back to the dorms,” Gracelyn announced.

It was just past 2am now, so it wasn’t like she was being a killjoy. Chanel and Luisa booed teasingly, making her huff out a laugh, whereas Maddie just smiled sadly. Her best friend always knew how to read her mind.

“Do you want company on the walk back?” Maddie offered.

“No, no, it’s okay, please stay and enjoy the last hockey house party. The fresh air will do me good. Thank you though,” Gracelyn said, shaking her head.

She would always be grateful for Maddie.

“Brunch tomorrow, yes?” Chanel said, smiling as she pointed a taloned-fingernail faux-threateningly.

“Of course!” Gracelyn laughed, making the rest of the girls laugh too. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

With a round of hugs and the promise to text when she arrived back at the dorm, Gracelyn left the hockey house for the last time. She hated that tears were stinging at her eyes, closing yet another metaphorical and physical door, so she wasted no time in just starting to walk away, letting her feet guide her. By the time she’d managed to compose herself, she realised she’d somehow walked out to the Charles River, all the way down to her old spot with Jake near the Hatch Shell, and she just felt like crying for real this time.

Why here? Why now? Why did this have to be the ending of her college years?

She managed to blink the tears back as she sat down on their usual…old stone bench, just in time to hear footsteps coming towards her. Her heart clenched in her chest as she snapped her head in that direction, only to see Jake jogging towards her, his cheeks flushed and his eyes wild.

“Gracie! I was looking everywhere in the house for you. But when Maddie told me you left, I knew you’d end up here,” he said, breathless but relieved.

Maddie told him? That meddler. Gracelyn felt a lump rise in her throat at his words though. What did that even mean? What was he doing? Why did he even care?

“What do you want?” she asked, frowning.

 “I wanted to see you. Wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t leave Boston again without talking to you. It’s kind of perfect that it’s by our old spot – I can’t get the memories of this place out of my head.”

~

November 2016.

“We should take a photo,” Jake said suddenly, digging in his coat pocket.

“What?”

“To keep this memory, of finding ‘our’ place. Of you giving me the advice I needed. Of me making you laugh like that for the first time,” Jake explained, making her smile at his enthusiastic listing, “one of the guys bought a bunch of cheap polaroid cameras at the weekend and I still have one in my pocket.”

“Well in that case…” she teased.

Jake just laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder, guiding her to lean into his body. Gracelyn just tilted her knitted hat-covered head to rest against his and threw up a peace sign, smiling widely as Jake raised the camera in his hand.

~

“Oh, well if you want to talk now, then go ahead!” Gracelyn said sharply.

Jake flinched again at her harsh tone of voice, looking even more confused than before.

“Why…what do you mean?”

“I haven’t heard from you in over a year. You stopped replying to my texts, you hurt me. But it’s all good now that you’ve shown up again and declared you want to talk, right? So go ahead. Talk. Tell me why you think you can just reappear in my life after leaving me alone,” Gracelyn said angrily.

The moment that the ranting words left her lips, she regretted them, even more so at the upset look on Jake’s face. Here it was, what she’d always feared would happen. She wished she could use the beer and shots as an excuse but she knew they were barely a factor after all of the dancing. She’d pushed too far this time. He was actually going to say goodbye for good. And why wouldn’t he? That’s what everyone else important in her life had always done.

Braced myself for the goodbye, 'Cause that's all I've ever known.

“I’ll never leave you alone again.”

His sudden words broke her out of her swirling thoughts.

“What?”

“I should never have left you behind, not without telling you how I feel about you.”

What the hell.

“Jake…”

“I have been such an idiot, Gracie. Such a coward. I remember how it felt sitting by the water here with you, letting the world pass by like nothing else mattered, like it was just you and me in our own little world. That first time we were here? I made you laugh, and your laugh was the best thing I’d ever heard. The smile you sent me after you’d stopped laughing made my heart beat like crazy. I wanted to kiss you right then and there, but I chickened out. Every time I looked at you after that, it was like the first time all over again. I don’t know when it happened, probably moments after I met you, but I fell in love with you a long time ago, and I wanted to tell you so many times. I should’ve told you, but I was so scared to ruin everything. Turns out me not saying anything ruined us anyway.”

His words washed over her like a wave, overwhelming in their honesty and emotion, and the more he spoke, the more Gracelyn felt like crying. This was how he felt about her? After all this time?

He was in love with her too?

He wasn’t saying goodbye?

“You loved me?” she managed to whisper.

Jake swallowed heavily but nodded, eyes starting to fill with hope. “Love. Present tense. I still love you, and I am so sorry for being too much of a coward to tell you last year. Am I too late?”

“Too late?” she asked, confused.

“Too late to have a chance with you?”

Oh.

Oh.

“Jake, I…I don’t even know what to say. I’ve spent this whole last year trying to repair myself after you left with barely a goodbye, and now you just…you want to give us a chance? Just like that?”

The guilt that washed over Jake’s face sent a pang through her body, but she stayed silent, waiting for him to speak. She needed to know. He needed to tell her.

“I know you’ve guarded your heart. I know it’s for good reasons. But we’re not going to make your parents mistakes, Gracie. I never want to go a day without telling you how much I love you. I don’t want to spend another day apart. I don’t know where I’ll be next season – I might start down in the AHL but it’s likely I’ll be called up again. But I’ve got to know…will you come with me?”

“To Texas? You want me to move in with you in Texas?”

Her mind was swirling, even more overwhelmed, her emotions choking up her throat as her jaw dropped slightly. That was the last thing she was expecting. Was this too sudden? Was she holding back for no reason?

“Shit, I shouldn’t be asking you that at 2.30am. I’m so sorry, so stupid,” Jake groaned, running his hands through his hair.

“You’re not stupid,” she said quickly, gently pulling his hands back down, “I just…it’s a lot? Let me think about it?”

“Of course. Whatever you need, I…”

He trailed off, an old familiar look of hesitance and self-deprecation in his eyes, enough to make her heart pang. Enough to make up her mind, at least a little bit.

“I love you too, Jake,” she murmured, smiling slightly as his breath caught in his throat, “I’ve loved you for longer than I care to admit. I was trying to build up my confidence to tell you but then it was too late, you know? When you left, and slowly stopped messaging me, it broke my heart. I know you were busy working your ass off in Texas and I am so proud of you for chasing your dreams…but it still hurt so much. I spent all of this last year essentially back in the way that you first met me, introverted and quiet – tonight was the first party I’d been to since November. But I still love you. I don’t think I could ever stop.”

As she spoke, she watched his face shift from happy to sad to devastated to hopeful. She’d missed how expressive he was, especially around her, especially because of her, even if it was terrifying to share all of her thoughts and feelings with him. Things she’d never said to anyone, not even her closest friends. But here she was, confessing everything, hoping that the tears slowly trickling down her face were the only ones she’d cry over him again.

Jake stayed silent for a moment, raising a hand to wipe away her tears, letting his hand cup her face briefly, just long enough for the warmth to seep through his skin to hers before he dropped his hand again.

“I’ll never be able to make up for making you feel like this for so long, I know that. But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to start over, to finally start us as we should’ve always been. To show you how much I love you.”

It was everything she’d ever hoped to hear, over the three years they spent as friends and the past year alone. Was it enough? Could she trust him? Could she trust herself?

“I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, Jake. I know I’m not moving back home, but other than that? I don’t have any job or career lined up yet. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life after brunch tomorrow with the girls. But maybe you can walk me home tonight…and we can talk tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, we can do that. I’d love that,” Jake said quickly, eagerly, “Maybe I could stay until after commencement weekend? There’s literally nowhere else I’d rather be.”

There’s literally nowhere else she’d want him to be either.

So she huffed out a laugh, nodding, heart starting to beat that little bit faster as he took one of her hands in his, threading their fingers together. She stayed silent as he stood up, hands staying linked as she stood up too, Jake just as silent as her. It was only when he lifted their joint hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand that she made any sound, a soft sigh of his name, just loud enough for Jake to hear.

It was his answering smile that gave her hope.

~

Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe for the first time, You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

[ravetillyoucry]

PUPARIA

Chapter 7 - Oblivion

prev - chapter 1

It was at times like these when Hosah felt grateful for the New York Subway system, as even at four in the morning, him and his partner were able to commute all the way back to the office with ease.

Nobody had touched the package, it was a miracle somebody was even brave enough to pick it up and bring it into the security room. In all honesty, the shifter wasn't sure why the police weren't the first people Scotty, the guy Jules had hired to sit and watch their camera footage all night, had called.

He did have an idea as to why, though. He and Scotty had pretty much hated eachother since day one. The man had no positives to him. He's rude, he's cynical, he says the most offensive things, he's nihilistic and generally leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth. Sure, all of those character flaws probably applied to Hosah himself, but his own hypocrisy was something the shifter preferred to not dwell on. The security guy wasn’t relevant enough to Hosah’s life to get worked up on anyway.

The rag-tag team all stood in near silence, as if they were waiting for the package itself to speak. Wrapped in a stereotypical brown paper bag, the little twine bow and all, the parcel was flat and wide, a four by four square with maybe and inch and a half of elevation to it. Just by looking at it, Hosah could tell it was a canvas of sorts. He'd been painting consistently for over a decade, so he thought himself to have pretty worthy basis to make such a theory.

Without thinking too much of it, the shifter spoke, leaning over closer to inspect the item infront of him, "Looks like it's a painting, or something."

Scotty was the first to dismiss his idea, "Why the hell would anyone mail you a painting to your workplace?"

"Why would anyone kill fifteen people?" The shifter's eyes stayed focused on what was beneath him, knowing that, if he were to look up at the crowd of much larger beings, he'd probably pussy out of indulging in any kind of argumentative urges that came over him when speaking to the insufferable man.

Jeanne spoke up, stood in the corner of the tiny office, leant against the wall away from the topic of conversation, "Let's just open it and see. Can't be anything worse than what we've already seen."

"Yeah, Hosah, you open it. That way if it's a bomb and you're blown to pieces, it won't be so hard to clean."

God, if only his prayers were answered. Suddenly, Hosah felt bad for admitting his uncertainty surrounding religion. The smell of burning flesh wouldn't be so bad if he knew it was Scotty's body that had spontaneously combusted.

The shrunken figures eyebrows furrowed, although his gaze was still unmoving. He wondered if Teddy shared the same annoyed expression as his own.

"Shouldn't we wait until we can get it tested for any , I don't know, DNA remnants? Assuming it's the same guy that fled the scene the other day that left the package." The shrunken figure questioned, leaning over to inspect every aspect of the seemingly normal parcel in close detail.

Unfortunately, Hosah seemed to have fallen perfectly into Scotty's hands with his reply. "Hah, so, you're a fucken' pussy, that's it, right?" How anybody could be so cartoonishly insufferable, the shifter did not know.

"Shut up, Scotty. God. I'll open it." Teddy's sudden bite back alongside the quick grab of the delivery caused the figure stood beside it to jump back slightly, he'd not seen such a side to his assistant before, and in all honesty, it flattered him.

Scotty wheeled his chair back out of the way into Jeanne's direction as the brown paper packaging was carefully torn apart. He was right. It was a painting after all, with a folded paper note on the hollow side of the canvas.

Upon turning it over, painted side up, delicately placed down on the table beside him, Hosah's face turned an unusual shade of white. This wasn't an original piece from the killer at all, it was his own work, even with his name written in small white text in the bottom right corner.

In any other situation, the fact almost everybody in the room gathered around, towering above him, would've put Hosah at indescribable unease, but he was far too distracted by what sat in-front of him to even notice.

"Looks like one of yours." He was glad to hear Teddy's voice again, all he really wanted to do was crawl back into the warm palm once more, and forget he'd ever seen anything to begin with.

A grating scoff could be heard from the distance away where the night shift security guard sat, although nobody paid any attention to him by this point.

Hosah looked up to the giant looming above him, whose eyes were fixated on the painting and not the shifter himself, "It is one of mine. See. Signed it and everything."

The look Scotty had on his face was disturbing if anything, a sort of sadistic smile to himself that worried Hosah. He wondered who's side he was really on, his team's, or the killer's. A hole grew in his stomach when he thought about the contents of the note, probably some edgy manifesto of all the killer's prejudices toward the most vulnerable of society, their sick reasonings for indulging in such cruelty. Nothing he hadn't seen before; but that didn't make it all any less unsettling.

"Huh. So it is." Teddy leant, his mouth slightly agape as he puzzled over what lay out in front of him. "Have you ever sold any of your art or something?"

The trouble brewing in the shifter's stomach rose as he blurted out, "No, that's the thing, I don't even.. They must've gotten it straight from my apartment." It could've been anyone. It could've even been Teddy, given his peaked interest in his work, and the fact he had a key to the apartment in the first place.

It wasn't a piece he'd done recently, it was one he'd remembered storing away in the closet under all of his old, dirty tarps. A shitty take at a man he'd pass almost every day about two years ago, always at the pick up bay by the station, always in the same coat smoking the same brand of cigarettes, Hosah had thought up a whole backstory for him. Divorced, retired, and on his way to the bar to sleuth out information on the man his wife had left him for. The type of guy Hosah imagined himself growing to be when he was around fifty, deeply troubled and fuelled by vengeance from the, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless.

"What about the note, what does that say?" Hosah's attention shifted as he heard the paper fumble in his assistant's hands in response, anxiously awaiting for what was on the other side of the folded sheet.

"Hmm," Teddy's eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, "It's long. And fucking.. Hard to read. Rushed cursive. Could scan it into one of the computers, get someone over to decipher it."

The shrunken man shrugged, annoyed his curiosity couldn't be fed into, but understanding of the situation.

"Sure. Sounds good." He said, standing to his underwhelming full height of three inches. Hosah wondered what was taking his body so long to adjust for another switch back, when he remembered he hadn't actually taken his size control medication since.. Maybe a week ago?

It was safe to say just about everyone wanted to get the fuck out of Scotty's office after the interaction. He wondered why Jules would hire such a dickhead, before realising she'd also hired himself too, and that was just as bad.

Even hours later, stood on his assistant's desk once more, Hosah couldn't help out pace back and forth, contemplating all that had occurred so far in the case. It wasn't a lot, but what he'd been left with felt like a thousand threads all tangled in one big, untie-able knot. The holes in the hands, the bodies lined up in order of stages of decomposition, his painting, the unreadable note, what did it all mean?

It was horrible to admit, but Hosah often found himself empathising with the criminals he sought after. Of course he knew they were society's most disgusting and depraved individuals, but that sort of behaviour doesn't just prop up out of nowhere. He'd be a hypocrite if he didn't give these freaks the benefit of the doubt, as some would go as far as to say Hosah had gotten himself into a fair amount of totally fucked scenarios that would group him with these kinds of people.

Nobody did these kinds of acts for no reason. He had his own reasons for getting into his own shit, so what gives him the right to pretend that they don't? After all, reasons are not excuses. But that was the thing, Hosah's curiosity was his biggest flaw. His utter inability to stay in his own lane, to keep his nose out of other people's business, it's what got him into the most trouble. Curiosity killed the cat or something.

Jeanne's words replayed in his head over and over, in all honesty, he never really considered himself a highly empathetic person beforehand, but everyone seemed to think otherwise. That was probably what got him into all the trouble he found himself in as a young man. At the age of twenty seven, he'd experienced a life time of shit. All because he didn't know when to stop surrounding himself with people who so obviously had ill intentions.

Hosah was an attention seeker, at the core of it, somebody paying attention to him, even if it's to hurt him, was what fed his ego. It gave him some sort of worth, this random serial killer was interested in him, it doesn't matter in what way, he had someone that saw him. What in particular they saw in him, he had no idea, and the itching to know just what made him of all the shifters out there so special was what drove him crazy. Why him? Why that painting? Why those fifteen people before him? All he wanted was answers, he didn't even really care if getting them was what killed him.

"Hosah, I think you should start living at my apartment." The statement caught him completely off guard, freezing mid step and turning to look at the giant that sat before him.

"We can go and get all your stuff you need today. I just.. It doesn't feel right. The painting, it was taken straight from your house. I don't want to leave you there, they know that's where you live," Teddy truly looked troubled as he went on, "I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if anything happened to you."

The tiny man nodded in agreement, "Yeah, yeah you're right. I didn't even think about that, to be honest. Thanks. I appreciate it."

One week into their knowledge of each others existence, and the two had already made plans to move in together. Hosah wasn't even surprised, moving fast was his default. He had thoughts of marriage about everyone he's ever slept with, and that list was far too long to count on his hands alone. Teddy had that kind of look about him that made the shifter realise the two's lives were to be intertwined for as long as they'd live, he was just unsure of in what way that'd be.

"I know it's kind of sudden and we don't know eachother all that well, but, I mean, please don't feel pressured to say yes or anything." Teddy rambled on, the fact the giant seemed to care so much was very flattering.

Hosah could only smile, inching closer to the resting fist on the table he stood on, "I already said yes, Teddy. I'm not really one to get all shy in dangerous situations like these." That was a lie, and it sort of pained him to say it out loud with just how blatant the fact of the matter was.

-~-

"Your place is.. nice."

Hosah took a good look around from his shoulder view. Seemed his assistant had a few unpleasant traits after all. The apartment was packed with shit. Trinkets and vintage decorations, CDs and records, random pieces of junk he'd probably found out in the wild, his apartment was sort of like a hoarders home, or maybe a crow's nest.

Teddy couldn't sense the uneasiness in the shifters voice, "Thank you, thank you. I uh, I need to do a good deep clean sometime soon though. Got a lot of stuff but I can never find it in me to part with any of it. Just scared I'll need it one day, or I'll forget whatever memory I have associated with it, you know?"

"You don't say.." Really, the man stood, one foot on the shirt collar, one foot on the jacket shoulder, was in no place to judge at all. He had his absurd collection of art works, and Teddy had his absurd collections of everything else there was to own in the world.

The tiny eyes adverted to the three decorative plates mounted on the wall outside of his kitchen, a very pretty collection, with the centre piece capturing what looked like to be a rural house in a field of flowers, the rest being of various farm animals. Despite looking pretty old, the paint was just as bright as the day it was done. Bright pastels that popped out against be ceramic white, with a fine gold border around the curved edges.

"Pretty right?" His assistant noticed Hosah's fixated stare on the display, "They were a gift from my grandpa, for graduating university. His grandma gifted them to him too, when he bought his first house."

"Been in the family for a while then.." The tiny man leant closer to her a better look at the paint job.

"Yeah, yeah definitely. I'm gonna give them to my kids too. And hopefully it'll be carried on for the rest of forever."  With his hands at his hips, Teddy sighed a hopeful sigh. "Why about you? Any special family heirlooms going around?"

Oh, god, he had to wrack his brain around for a moment to even think of anything, "My mom always said she wished she had a daughter, you know, to pass her wedding dress down to. Well, it's not- I don't know, are hanbok's considered dresses? I think so,"

"Ohh," Teddy's interest seemed to be peaked as he made his way to sit on the couch, on whatever space there was free at least, as it was covered almost entirely with decorative pillows and blankets, "So, you're Korean, right? Fully, or?"

"Pshh, do I look full? No, my dad's Arab- Mizrahi, so I guess, Iraqi maybe? I don't really know, he's never specified. Always just says Jewish or American." Hosah had long climbed down from the shoulder, finding himself resting in the cupped hands of his assistant as he rambled.

"Hmm, yeah I thought so. It's hard to tell, really, never heard of that mix before." the giant's voice quietened a little, as if he were worried he could come off as offensive or something, "I was wondering where the name Hosah came from, too, is it Korean? Hebrew?"

"It's- It's a funny story, actually," Whenever Hosah started a conversation like this, the other person could expect probably the least funny story imaginable, "I'm named after my uncle, my dads twin brother, he was a shifter too. Died three days before my parents found out I was on the way. Anyway. The name Hosah in itself is Hebrew, but there is a really similar Korean name, just spelt '-suh' not '-sah'. And a different meaning, and stuff."

The giant nodded his head and gave an 'Ohhh' of understanding, "That's really interesting, actually."

"I've always been kind of worried about being named after someone who had a shifting related death. Like it's just sealed the deal for me to be.. cursed or something. It's stupid but it's always in the back of my mind whenever I do something stupid." The tiny man brushed his hands through his hair, avoiding eye contact, "I guess thats bound to happen though, seeing your own name on a coffin."

“Like an Ouroboros, the eternal cycle, history repeating itself,” Teddy soon realised that the man in his hands had no idea what he was talking about, “The snake eating itself, something like that,” still, Hosah was clueless.

“..So that Scotty guy huh!” The giant awkwardly laughed, desperate to keep the shifter talking for a reason that was unknown to him. “What a dick. So stupid too. Picking up that parcel and bringing it into his office, not even calling the police?? Total moron.” Teddy progressively seemed to get more worked up, his palms getting clammier and clammier by the second.

“I mean,” his face shifted, now looking more worried if anything, “He was just so.. rude to you. Completely unprovoked!”

Hosah’s eyes lingered down onto his shoes, now sitting cross legged in the palm, “Some people are just like that.” He sighed, “See someone weaker than them, and just getting the urge to..” the words trailed off into silence, although Teddy could probably piece together what came next.

“Well, he’s stupid. You’re great. I couldn’t imagine even considering speaking to you like that.”

“That’s cause you know I’d beat your ass, when I’d get back to normal size, anyway.” The shifter stood to his full height, not even the size of Teddy’s hand, “I need you to help me with something.”

Without a second thought, his assistant followed his every word. Hosah hadn’t taken his medication in days, he knew if he didn’t start, his doctor wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

Teddy’s bathroom was just as cluttered as the rest of his apartment, with a cute little My Neighbor Totoro toothbrush holder and all. The tiny man hadn’t seen that movie since he was barely able to retain memories, just the sight of that grey beast sent him back in time.

“So you need to do this every day?” The giant spoke as he filled the human sized needle with whatever concoction of drugs his doctor prescribes him to take daily. Something he always forgot how to pronounce, somatotrophixine? Along the lines of that, at least.

Hosah just nodded, “Yeah. I’ve been forgetting lately.”

Pinching what little fat he had left on his thigh with one hand, and biting the arm connected to his other, the shifter was ready to take the dosage.

“Do you not get scared? This needles bigger than your whole body.”

Hosah really wished he’d stop being asked so many questions as he winced at the sudden contact, causing his assistant to give a quiet little ‘Sorry’ under his breath.

He waited until the needle had been removed to release his teeth from his arm, “Nah, been doing it since I was like.. I don’t know, twelve?” Hosah groaned a little as he let go of the skin, “Still hurts, though. Do you have any bandages?”

Very carefully, as if he was scared he’d break Hosah with the light touch from his fingers, the giant gave the bleeding wound a wipe, wrapping it with a cut up piece of gauze afterward.

“I don’t know how you cope. I think I’d be way too freaked out to even remember to breathe, aha,”

“You get used to it. I used to be terrified all the time. Constant state of fear, it was hell. Then I got medicated for anxiety and shit, all better now. You could put me in a case filled with.. I don’t know, rats and scorpions, wouldn’t break a sweat.” The shifter bragged, stretching the truth about a mile further than reality. Really, he still got scared, he was always still scared, he just knew how to mask it better.

“Well then,” his assistant leant back forward, having cleared away the surface from what mess the pair had just made, “I want what you’re on.”

This phrase had never failed to make Hosah laugh. “Let’s switch places first, then we’ll see.”

Maybe moving in together wasn’t the greatest idea. The rest of the day, and even into the night, Teddy asked questions relentlessly. On one hand, it made the shifter quite happy, nobody had ever been so curious about him, it made him feel pretty special for once. Then again, on the other hand, he quite missed his alone time with just him and his thoughts.

The giant’s chatter eventually became white noise to him, finally falling sleep as the sun had long gone down, the stars being brighter than ever. Or maybe they were just streetlights, it was hard to tell.

Hosah had managed to drift off on the pillow besides his assistant’s head, but when he awoke the next day, Teddy was nowhere to be seen. Not wanting to jump down from such a height, despite knowing that he’d probably just bounce along the floor due to his height and weight, the shifter waited patiently for his knight in shining armour to rescue him from the impossibly high castle.

Unfortunately, none of that was accurate to reality, as the shitty ikea bed was far from any fairy tale tower, and Teddy, in his boxer shorts and generic band t shirt- which the design on had long faded in the washing machine, was far from any kind of prince charming. That part was debatable, actually.

The shifter had no idea what had come over him lately, maybe it was some kind of sickness bug going around or an infection in his brain, but as every day went by that he and Teddy spent constantly in each others company, the more Hosah grew to love him. Not romantically, of course. He wasn’t even expecting to like him, never mind want to be as close as friends with him as they were becoming. Although.. he’d be lying if he didn’t admit he found the giant at least somewhat attractive. On a completely aesthetic level.

Teddy peeked through the slightly ajar door with a little knock, as if this wasn’t his own bedroom. Upon noticing his new roommate was awake, he entered shyly, still in his night clothes, uttering a quiet ‘Good morning’ in a sing-song voice. Hosah didn’t respond, he needed at least twenty minutes to properly adjust to his consciousness in the morning.

Instead, the miniature man sat on the pillow, watching Teddy carefully as he rifled through his wardrobe. From here, Hosah had pretty much the perfect view of the man. He had nice legs, thick calves, and his freckles extended past his face to the entirety of his body. One thing the shifter had always wished he had when he was younger was more moles. He had one pretty big one on the right of his belly button, and one under his left ear, but that was it. It was one of his mother’s traits that he envied, she had beauty marks pretty much in every place you’d expect them to be.

It was in moments like these which Hosah wished his eyes were cameras, so he could take a photo of the moment and store it in his brain forever. Having a photographic memory must be nice. The lighting was perfect as the sun shined through the thin fabric of Teddy’s curtains, with the dark red paint across the walls helping the man in catching the singular audience member’s eye.

The observer quickly turned his face away as his subject caught on to his peeping, “What are you looking at?” Teddy said in a laugh, his smile showing his endearingly crooked teeth.

“You, I guess.” His face flushed a colour similar to that on the walls, “I like your teeth.”

Yeesh. Hosah knew it sounded weird as soon as he said it, but it was too late now.

“Aha, thank you, my parents wanted me to get braces or retainers or something, but I always liked them too.” Luckily for the still shrunken man, Teddy seemed to take the compliment how it was intended to be interpreted.

Despite the fact it exhausted him the previous day, Hosah wanted to continue to talk with his assistant for hours. Maybe they were just rubbing off on one another, but he really wanted to know every little detail about Teddy’s entire life.

With the starting day’s rays hitting his so perfectly, the giant’s green eyes really shone, looking much paler in the direct sunlight compared to the usual darker shade they appeared to be. Hosah wondered if he had one Irish parent with how he looked, he wouldn’t have gotten Italian just by looking at him, unless told so first.

“You know,” Teddy started, buttoning up his dress shirt in the meantime, “Im so curious what that note said. The one in the package, I mean.”

Right. The detective had nearly forgotten all about the previous day, too focused on fantasising about some dream-like life he could have with Teddy. He really needed to get his head down, out of the clouds, and back into the game. He needed to talk to Jeanne, Jeanne always knew what to say, and what to do in times like these.

“Hmm, I’ll give it a look over. Might find it easier, able to see all the fine details and such..” Hosah rubbed the sleep from his eyes and combed his curly bed head with his fingers, “Probably just a load of manic shit. Dark web manifesto type thing.”

“This is all so scary. I mean, they went to your house, and mailed your own painting back to you, does that not scare you?”

“I told you, I’m not scared of anything.”

Teddy looked up from his undone tie, “I’m being serious, Hosah.” , his face really reflected just how serious he seriously was. “It’s okay you know, fuck, I’m scared of this guy.”

Eugh, that phrase the shifter hated so much, ‘it’s okay’ or anything of the sort. Being comforted verbally just caused his entire body to quiver and cringe, which was very likely evident in the disgusted face he didn’t realise he was making, as Teddy tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows angled down as if to say ‘Cmon,’

“Yeah. But I’m used to all of this, even outside of my job, I’ve had to deal with weirdos-“

His assistant rudely interjected with a counter argument, “That’s exactly what scares me. You shouldn’t just.. be used to this kind of shit. It’s messed up, even more so that you’ve had to experience it all your life.”

Hosah sat, silent- a little stunned, even, frozen for a moment. He was right, and the shifter knew it, he’d known it the whole time. It wasn’t normal for him to just be used to all the kinds of sickening, cruel and downright sadistic shit that was probably all wrapped up in a nice little bow on that note. Despite already being at his minimum height, the shifter shrunk back into himself, deciding not to say anything else at all, admitting defeat in the whole bicker.

For the whole period of quiet, Teddy never looked away from the man that sat on his pillow. He didn’t want to come off as controlling or infantilising, but it was so hard not to worry about the tiny detective. He’d been dealt a shit hand in life, all the odds stacked against him in this world, and if he was the one looking out for all of the city’s shifters, who was looking out for him?

[heathersproship]

I WENT AND SAW MEAN GIRLS YESTERDAY

Went in with low expectations, but hoping to like it. Listened to some of the soundtrack a few days ago and wasn’t exactly impressed. But I didn’t blame the rearrangements—not entirely. Some of it was questionable, but maybe it’d be like with NPMD where I’d like it more when I had the visuals to go with it (I vastly prefer The Summoning live, and also High School is Killing Me, rather than the studio audio). And for the most part, I was right! I had a nice time.

See below the cut for my thoughts on the songs, other details, and some Janis analysis.

First Things First

We started off strong with the garage setup and Cautionary Tale. The vertical screen on a horizontal one doesn’t bother me, so I love the whole bit with the phone, and Janis plays guitar!

What Ifs was a song I didn’t listen to beforehand, and I understood most of it til Cady got to school. Then I had no idea what she was saying, either because the music was too loud or she was singing too softly, or both.

Meet the Plastics (though really it’s just Meet Regina) was good. Loved the lights flickering and Regina’s hypnotic voice like a siren luring the unsuspecting Cady in. Or an anglerfish.

Stupid With Love was actually not that bad... in the first half. Once we were out of the classroom, it fell off for me. I suppose they were going for a dreamy walking-on-air cloud nine “too in your own little world to notice the world around you” vibe, especially at the very end, but Angourie’s soft vocals didn’t do it for me. I expected a burst of energy since they’re outside and have the freedom to move and be loud with it.

Apex Predator was beautiful visually. Musically, I’m still not sure what to make of Damian singing Cady’s lines when they were about Janis. It’s strange. Couldn’t even have her think them? Record Angourie in a booth to get a feel for how big she can go, play it over a few shots of Cady’s face or the scene in front of them, Cady looking at Janis as she secretly compares Janis and Regina while Janis and Damian are warning her about Regina? No?

The build-up to What’s Wrong With Me was good—love the usage of the music box—though the song itself was a bit awkward. It’s sad all the same though, and that’s the point.

Sexy was good. Blink and you’ll miss the Easter egg.

Someone Gets Hurt was visually stunning. My one gripe is that Aaron has ONE line. Just one. And he doesn’t even sing it because the actor just doesn’t sing (did they hire him for his looks? The fact that he was in TSITP, which I haven’t seen? Why hire someone who doesn’t/can’t sing... for a musical??). Couldn’t they get someone to dub him? It’s just one line. Was that too much to ask? Disguise Damian’s voice if you have to. Giving it to Regina was certainly a choice they made.

Revenge Party was a fucking banger. It’s so fun and hella camp, and I love that they reinstated one of the OG verses (two if you recognize the piñata line from another verse). Also like how the “yes, bitch!” line was also back, unlike in the Broadway recording, though I don’t think that exchange needed to happen twice. I love Janis just loudly popping up with “And ugly crying!” during the bit with the sprinklers like girl shut up you’ll blow your cover! But then there was also that weirdass decision to have it go handheld when Cady goes to get the candy cane. Did not like that, what the hell was that?

Damian singing the iCarly theme in French lmao okay sure.

Someone Gets Hurt Reprise was just as good as the original, I love it. My only nitpick is the wording. “Obsessed” rather than “in love with” though that might have something to do with the doll.

World Burn was epic. Except... okay. Regina waltzed right into school with the Burn Book in hand. What if someone saw her? And then her just deliberately dropping and leaving it on the floor. And people really walked past it before someone finally picked it up? Really? The payoff is excellent, just the setup was... questionable.

Now that I’ve seen it, I definitely like this version of I’d Rather Be Me a lot more than I did before. Especially how it ends. (Though Barrett is still bae.) There’s possibly an allusion to the music video with the running in the halls and going about the school. But my God, Auli’i fucking did that! And again, very glad they kept the curse in the OST.

If that was a reprise of Stupid with Love... here’s an idea: just stop. The horse is already dead.

I See Stars was? Fine? Tbh I don’t really remember it. Probably because the girl who doesn’t go there takes over halfway though. Way to pull your weight, Cady. Angourie did well for some things, but singing really isn’t her strong suit. Again, why hire actors who don’t have the range for a musical?

Other things:

I love that Janis does embroidery here. It just fits.

Did not like the sanitization. How can this be Mean Girls without one mention of “social suicide”? You can keep the bouncing boobs thing and blatantly asking if Cady wants to have sex with Jason, but the band geeks are “corny-horny” and not “sexually active”?

Heyy Ashley Park!

Cady scaring the shit out of Janis and Damian will never not be funny. They were even watching the same scene of the same movie!

I was really hoping to get a flashback of Regina and Janis, with Janis actually burning the doll, rather than Damian acting it out with the toys. Or at the very least, a shot of Regina’s backpack on fire (that would’ve been a great teaser image). So we can get an idea of what Janis was like before, if she went along with the fashion rules like “pink on Wednesdays” or if she was always a little off-beat and Regina pushed her further into it. Maybe even see if she was the queen bee as some people believe was the case back in the day.

Love the bit with music people in the tree and Janis telling them to stop lmao. I love when they do things like that.

Analysis:

So one of the main differences between this Janis and her predecessors is that once this Janis gets to a certain point, she’s satisfied and actually wants to stop so she and her friends can just enjoy their time together rather than asking Cady to take a single night off before, presumably, letting it go on longer. This makes the party betrayal hurt worse when Cady says she wants one more lunch with the Plastics, as it looks like she made the active choice to trade up rather than just forgetting about Janis and Damian in her attempt to ensnare Aaron. Janis’ satisfaction also makes her singing IRBM more justified than in the musical because the movie took away a crucial aspect of her character which made her a Mean Girl to begin with: her anger.

This iteration of Janis just doesn’t have the same level of pure rage that drives her the way Regina does—rage which made them two sides of the same coin—because in this version, Janis is actually gay. The whole conflict in the original was Regina labeling Janis as something she wasn’t, and 2004 being a more homophobic time in history was how it was able to fly. In the 2018 musical, when that was no longer the case, they had to add in another layer with Regina pretending the issue was that Janis couldn’t accept she wasn’t one of the six people invited to her birthday party, before revealing the real issue was the same as the first: Regina pushing a label onto Janis (though Barrett says she played Janis as a lesbian, this was not explicitly confirmed nor acknowledged within the show itself, and is therefore no more canon than Regina being queer because Renee Rapp says so, closeted or not). With Janis being canonically queer here, this takes all the power out of Regina labeling her a lesbian in the first place because yes, yes she is, and? Rather than the problem being about the label, now the problem became Janis’ reaction to the bullying that ensued.

While she had to leave school due to how bad the bullying was in all versions previously (frozen out in the original—according to Regina she dropped out; and having “space dyke” Sharpied on her locker in the musical—according to Damian her parents pulled her out) this is the only time we know of where she retaliated. By burning the plush (and also Regina’s backpack) with a Bunsen burner. Her own actions resulted in her getting kicked out rather than being forced out by circumstances beyond her control, and the choice to do it this way shows that a) while what happened to her was more insidious, she’s also slightly less of a victim than her predecessors, and b) she knows better than anyone actions have consequences—a line of dialogue explicitly absent in the movie’s opening number. She was content to stop where they were at, quit while they’re ahead, because her desire for revenge was satiated and she was ready to move on. Have lunch with Cady and hang out like they always meant to. She’s no longer a Mean Girl. While there was an injustice done upon her, she’s not so scarred by it she’s letting her rage get the better of her to the point it spirals out of control. She was ready and willing to stop. But Cady wasn’t.

And I don’t know how to feel about that.

I think that’s it.