#did anyone else watch this or was it all just a fever dream?

[firstkanaphans]

I know this post is only for like two people, but I’m going to make it anyway. So, my obsession with Dead Friend Forever finally reached critical levels and I resorted to binge-watching The Hidden Character just to get more content. For those that don’t know, The Hidden Character (which they literally call “THC”) was the reality show Be On Cloud used to cast DFF. It is bad. Like really bad. And not in a it’s-so-bad-it’s-good-type way. It’s one of the most exploitative pieces of media I have ever watched. I walked into it with a favorable view of BOC, Mile, Apo, and Pond (the CEO), and walked out of it hating all of them.

A small collection of things that happened over the 11-episode run:

Everyone was told that they had to share every single aspect of their life with the viewers or they would be eliminated. And, in fact, the first person eliminated was told that it was because he wasn’t being open enough with the audience. They filmed these boys—one of whom was only seventeen at the time—talking explicitly about their sex lives. Which is, of course, fine to talk about. It’s not fine to air it on television! Even some of the games themselves contained sexually suggestive content (i.e. Which do you prefer "eating" with—your hands or your mouth? If you were to cheat on your significant other, would it be just sex or a full-blown affair?)

During the first part of the show, everyone had a secret that the other players were supposed to guess. One of the player’s secret was that he used to be homophobic. (Questionable casting for a company that only hires men, but I digress). He was praised for having changed his mind. In contrast, JJay’s secret was that he was raised in an abusive household and had once hit his father. Pond crucified the poor guy for this. He made him sit there in front of the whole cast sobbing and apologize for hitting his dad who was an abusive asshole.

After the first half of the show—which served absolutely no purpose at all—we finally move onto the acting portion. This is, after all, supposed to be a talent competition. The judges were so mean. Especially Apo. He was like the Simon Cowell of BOC. There was no constructive component to their criticism. The fact that any of these people are still acting is honestly unbelievable. I would have gone home and cried myself to sleep and then never stepped foot on a stage again.

At one point, each of the groups was assigned a scene from KinnPorsche to act out (because BOC very clearly owns no other IP). One of the pairs was given the scene where Porsche gives Kinn a handjob in the bathroom. I wish I was kidding. 

The judges constantly told the contestants to make their scenes feel new and different but any time the actors actually tried to change anything, they complained it was “too” different and the original script was already perfect so who were they to think they could create something better. Once again, Apo and Mile, the original actors of these scenes, are the ones judging them! Like of course they like their version better. What is even happening??

And finally, the whole fucking thing was rigged for Ta to win. Like don’t get me wrong, I love Ta and I think he did a great job, but he was the only one who came into that competition with a built-in fanbase and the winner was chosen by popular vote.

It was all just…baffling. Especially from a company that claims to be trying to change the industry. Like if you want the industry to stop being so exploitative to its actors, maybe start with yourself? It also makes those condescending “how dare you watch our shows just for the NC scenes” press releases they do every week even more annoying.

I have no clue what the reaction to this show was while it was airing but god I hope they never do it again. It literally makes me feel so weird watching DFF now. I feel like those poor kids are being held hostage. Maybe CEO Pond’s been the one under the mask the whole time 🔪

[2hightocare]

INFATUATED!

“In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.” — mini series ❦︎

Synopsis: The feeling of finding a person who makes your tummy do cartwheels everyday, no matter what the situation is.

Pairings: nonidol!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: super cute duper fluff, jk being the epitome of every girls dream man. Argument, oc crying, Jungkook wasting money on oc, banter, cussing, flirting. Js super cute cliché shit…

a/n: they’re my babies… they’re so ‘tear in my heart’ coded but after this I might be inactive. I have a paper due in three weeks 10 pages long so…. Plus in my free time I’m working on a series that I will drop the teaser and aesthetic maybe later or tmr🤍🤍🤍 enjoy!! Kithes.

Falling in love with Jungkook was so easy that it scared you. He did everything right, and whenever there was something wrong, he would do anything in his power to make it right. You thought it was too good to be true, and he would just disappear into angel dust if you blinked too fast.

“How do you feel?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face, kissing your forehead in the process. “Warm.” You talk about the fever you have. The covers that were wrapped tightly around you are shredded from you. “Hey!” You pout, shaking from how cold you feel even though the air is off and it’s not cold. “You’re not going to get better, baby.” He pouts back at you, holding the covers tightly on his chest as you try to fight back for it.

“I'm freezing,” you whine, your eyelids fluttering shut as his palm touches your face.

“You’re burning, baby,” he lets you know while sighing.

You had gotten sick yesterday, which had started with a sore throat. You had thought when you would have woken up today it would’ve been gone; spoiler: it got worse.

Jungkook makes his way to his kitchen, opening up the gray cabinet in front of him. He pulls out the tray filled with medicine his mom gave him whenever he moved out around four years ago. He pops open the pill container, taking two small white round pills out before grabbing a water bottle and making his way to you, who’s curled up on his couch.

Jungkook feels like shit whenever he can’t do anything to make you feel better. It didn’t matter what it was; he would do anything in his power to make you feel better. Seeing you sick, your face red from how hot you are, your eyes closed, and curled up from how cold you felt had him thinking that if he could take away your sickness and be sick instead, Jungkook would choose that option in an instant.

He hands you the pills and the water bottle and watches you take them one by one. He remembers when you gawked at him when he took 4 pills at once and learned that you have a fear of the pill going down the wrong tube.

He also remembers that you prefer pills and injections instead of just medicine syrup. Which baffled him, to say the least; how could someone prefer an injection instead of just strawberry-flavored syrup? He laughed at you, which you just shrugged because it was the truth; you preferred to get poked by a needle than just drinking something.

“That’s actually crazy.” Jungkook throws his head backwards as a laugh rips out of his chest. “It’s nasty. I don’t care what flavor it is. I would literally throw it up.” You scrunch your nose, remembering the taste of the medicines your parents literally shoved down your throat so you could get better.

“Don’t get me started on how anything medicine strawberry flavored gives me PTSD till this day.” You shiver from the thought, which has your boyfriend laughing at you.

“I can’t breathe,” you say, your voice scratchy from your sore throat as you breathe from your mouth. “I should’ve enjoyed breathing when I could,” you joke, watching your boyfriend's eyes twinkle. They had a small glimmer to them, making you wonder how that could possibly happen and why you haven't seen it before with anyone else.

Jungkook had no clue how he ended up here… with a girl he met in a chemistry class that accidentally dropped sulfuric acid all over the floor alongside the beaker smashing into tiny pieces. He watched how your eyes widened as a small piece of your hair dropped beautifully in front of your face out of the low ponytail. You had tied it with a blue latex glove as a hair tie since you didn’t have one after no one in class had one to let you borrow.

That was two years ago; now here he was taking care of you as you struggled to breathe from your congested nose.

“Can I get my blanket back?” You pout at him, which he only shook his head with a chuckle.

….

“Get whatever you want,” Jungkook gave your ass a little tap as you entered the makeup store, your eyes widening from excitement. “Don’t say stuff like that,” you give him a look, which has him tilting your face up with his hand.

“Why, baby?” He chuckles, pecking your pouted lips.

“Because it makes me feel things, duh,” you whisper into his lips. He smiles into your mouth. His lip piercing sends cold shocks through your body that has you playfully shoving him away, remembering where you guys are.

“Get whatever you want, and then we can go to the bookstore,” Jungkook picks up the black and white striped little Sephora bag before pointing in front of you to walk.

You giggled as you started looking for the things that have been sitting in your phone cart for a while now. Jungkook follows behind you, stopping whenever you stop to look at the shelves for something before you drop the product in the basket in your boyfriend's hand.

“That’s really cute,” Jungkook mentions the lipstick tester you have in your hand. “You should get it,” he says, tilting his head at you, watching you open the lid being met with a reddish-dark color.

“Don’t you think it’s too dark?” You look up at your smiling boyfriend.

“What?” You giggle as you stare back at him. “You look beautiful,” he says casually, reaching for your beanie and pulling it down a bit more, fixing it. “You literally want me to die right now,” you joke. “Baby!” Jungkook laughs at the tone of voice you used.

“You can’t keep saying things like that without expecting me to literally melt away,” you lean your body onto him while he wraps his strong hands around your much smaller frame as you look up to him.

“I just say whatever is in my mind at the moment, princess,” he explains, giving your waist a small squeeze, making you squirm as the feeling made you ticklish. “Ah!” You laugh as his fingers dig into your rib cage, tickling you.

You push him away as he tries to continue to tickle your tummy. “Stop!” You laugh, trying to get away as far as you can from him.

Jungkook stops when he sees two girls around your guy's age pass beside you both with judging eyes. “Someone’s mad...” Jungkook whispers into your head as you just shake your head with a laugh.

“Let’s leave, I got everything,” you giggle, intertwining your fingers with him, making your way to the line.

When you guys finally get to the line, you are met with a pretty blonde girl, her dimples carved into her skin when she smiles up at you both. “Hi, is that all?” The girl said, you take notice of her name tag.

“Yes, that's all, thank you,” you smile back. “Find everything you wanted?” Genesis asks, as she starts scanning the products. “Yeah, thanks,” you say, playing with the strings of your hoodie as you see the price rise with each scan.

“Card or cash?” Genesis says, as she points to the credit card reader.

“Card,” Jungkook says before you could reply. He pulls out his black card from the back of the phone case, before scanning it through the white card reader without looking at the price. The machine makes a small sound, “here you go, have a wonderful day!” The girl says ripping the receipt before putting it into the white and black bag, handing it to you.

“Thank you, baby,” you say as you walk out the door of the store, Jungkook smiles at you before shrugging. “The least I could do, princess,” he gives your hand three small squeezes, which feels like he’s squeezing your heart as well. “It was expensive as fuck,” you pout at him. “How much?” He asks, “a thousand.” You cringe, scrunching your nose up at realizing the astonishing price. “That’s it?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow before reaching to the passenger side of his car.

“What! You’re crazy,” you say, giving him a slight swat. You watch as the side of his lips quirk up, making you mirror his actions.

“I love you,” you pout, as he leans into his car. “And I love you so much more,” he says, pulling you into him from your waist.

You tipped toe to reach for his lips, his lips mold with yours perfectly as you both were pieces of a puzzle. “How do you want the kiss?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze. “What is this, a drive-thru? I get to ask what type of kiss I want,” you giggle, letting your forehead drop onto his chest which rumbles with a laugh.

“You get to ask whatever you want from me,” Jungkook rubs your back softly on top of your thick hoodie. “Oh shit,” your eyes widened as you saw the small print of your makeup on his black shirt when you raised your head upwards. “What?” He looks down to his shirt where you’re rubbing your fingers on the dirty print.

“I just ruined your shirt, baby, ahh!” You freak, which has Jungkook laughing while trying to reassure you that it’s fine and he’ll just wash it when he gets home.

As much as you guys had moments like this, you guys had your disagreements. They weren’t as bad where they ended in screaming matches or end up not talking for days, you guys usually make up the same day before going to bed. Jungkook loathed going to bed whenever you two fought; he felt compelled to make things right before even considering sleep.

“Why are you making me feel bad?” You say, your voice cracking, which echoes the fractures in Jungkook's heart. “I’m not, baby. It’s just... I can’t do anything about it,” Jungkook tries to reason with you.

“She was literally all over you, and you didn’t stop it,” you feel your eyes start to water before staring down at your converse.

“She’s my mom's best friend's daughter; I can’t just tell her to fuck off, y/n. I backed off. I can’t control what she does,” Jungkook raises his voice, a tear falling down your cheek as he addresses you by your first name, a departure from his usual endearments, which feels like a knife to your chest.

“Okay, then,” you nod, tears starting to cascade down, smudging your makeup in the process.

Jungkook's throat tightens; he feels like he can't breathe, feeling like shit. He watches you wipe your tears, small sniffles escaping your mouth. “I’m going to go,” you sniffle, turning your back to him and reaching for your bag.

“No, don't leave, let’s talk this out,” Jungkook implores, turning you around to face him. He reaches for your cheeks, wiping away the tears that continue to fall down your puffy cheeks. “You’re hurting me,” you say, with a sniffle.

“I know. I’m fucking sorry, baby,” he feels his heart racing, wanting to die for making you feel bad for caring about him.

“Why didn’t you push her away or say something? You made me look fucking stupid, Jungkook,” you cry, recalling the pang of feeling as Kailey flirted with him in front of his family, and he did nothing to stop it, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he kisses away your tears, trying to soothe the ache in your heart. “I promise I’ll shove her off whenever I see her, and if I have the chance to avoid her, I will,” he whispers into your cheek with each kiss he leaves on your face.

“Promise?” You whisper, finally meeting his worried eyes.

“Promise, baby,” he whispers back, holding eye contact with your red, puffy eyes.

“I hate making you cry; please forgive me,” Jungkook pulls you into him, hugging you tightly as if afraid you'll slip away. “I forgive you, just don’t do it ever again,” you sniffle into his chest, feeling the throb in your heart melt away.

“I love you,” he says, swaying you both in the middle of his living room.

“I love you,” you sniffle.

….

"But the Maze Runner is so good," you literally whine at your boyfriend, who is in the middle of changing his shirt.

"Yeah, but not as good as Spiderman," he says, poking his head out the shirt hole with a grin.

"Okay, true, but the Maze Runner is just as good; you need to read the book to understand," you mumble, trying to separate a piece of hair from your mouth as you curl another strand with your wand.

"You just have a huge crush on Dylan O’Brian, let’s be honest," your boyfriend chuckles, sending you a look through the mirror, to which you just roll your eyes back at him, acknowledging a) that he was right. b) he was literally right.

“Says the boy who had a crush on Fluttershy when we watched My Little Pony,” you say, giving him a 'don’t try me' look. His jaw falls before giving your hair a tiny soft pull.

"You said you wouldn’t bring it up," he laughs before shaking his head with a chuckle. "Well..." you just shrug.

“Fluttershy reminds me of you,” Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers playing with your freshly curled hair. “Until you act like a brat,” he tugs on your hair, making your head snap backwards, where he leaves a big fat smooch on your lips.

“Okay, princess, let’s go,” he says before unplugging the curling wand wire, grabbing your bag and coat, before holding your hand and leading you outside.

[mclqren]

WINNER TAKES IT ALL ★ CS55

PAIRING ✦ carlos sainz x fem!singer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you and your boyfriend both seem to be very lucky recently: you in opening for taylor swift, and him in winning the australian grand prix [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, taylor has added an extra date in melbourne for the friday before the australian grand prix. as per request, the fc i've used is sabrina carpenter, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by carlossainz55, taylorswift, and 3,055,971 others

tagged taylorswift

yourusername and with that we have one show left: back to melbourne in a couple of weeks! thank you all so much for the support, love you all like crazy 🫶

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user1 you're such a disney princess i can't

user2 DON'T MESS W ME RN IM SO SAD UR NO LONGER OPENING.

user3 FR what will we do without all of her content???

user4 ☹️☹️

carlossainz55 so proud of you!!

yourusername im way prouder of you 💘

user5 PARENTS WOOHOO

taylorswift i'll miss you, my angel! ❤️

yourusername love you sm 😢💘💘

yourusername

( caption one: just woke up and my boyfriend's got appendicitis hellooo?? wtf have i missed while i've been in singapore. | caption two: never mind guys all is well ❤️ ( i am a photographer and i took THIS photo ) )

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 3,281,119 others

tagged carlossainz55

yourusername impromptu visit to jeddah after SOMEONE'S appendix was removed...thanks for giving me an excuse to see you carlos 😘💘💘

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user6 THE WAY HE STILL WENT TO SEE THE GP IS CRAZY ur boyfriend is hella strong

yourusername ur telling me 🤷‍♀️

user6 OMG YOU REPLIED??? I LOVE YOU

user7 nah carlos acc has to be some sort of super human because how THE FUCK did he walk after that surgery.

user8 literally convinced he is atp.

carlossainz55 the appendix wasn't my fault...

charles_leclerc or was it 🤷‍♂️

yourusername hmmm...

user9 i'm acc their biggest fan you don't understand

liked by carlossainz55, taylorswift, and 3,331,354 others

tagged taylorswift

yourusername from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you thank you for all of the love and support i've received over the past couple of weeks. they've honestly been such a fever dream for me: like you're telling me that i was opening for THE taylor swift?? twelve year old me would be screaming right about now, let me tell you that much. i've loved every minute of this experience, and i can't wait to see what era is next for me 🫶

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user13 i still remember watching you when you were eighteen, just releasing music on youtube 🥺

user14 she's come sooo far since then im so proud of her

taylorswift loved having you with me!! couldn't think of anyone else better to keep me company during these times ❤️

yourusername thank you sm tay, im going to miss youuu 💘💘

user15 why am i acc tearing up this is so sad

carlossainz55 now i have you all to myself ❤️

yourusername yeah well you have ur cars AND charles so i guess it's not just me is it.

charles_leclerc why am i being mentioned

yourusername ur just like collateral damage in this argument

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 989,911 others

carlossainz55 back from my surgery and into P2 👊 looking forward to the race!

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user16 SMOOTH OPERATOR IS BACKKK

user17 the surgery did NOT hold him back

user18 NO REAL THE GUY WAS FLYINGGG

user19 the extra weight is gone and now he's in first row THIS IS WHAT WE NEEDED

yourusername do you ever actually rest like. ur appendix was just taken out when i get colds i stay in bed longer.

carlossainz55 yeah i know from firsthand experience 😘

user20 SHE'S SO REAL FOR THIS THOUGH

yourusername either way i'm so proud of you! smash it tomorrow 💘

liked by carlossainz55

user21 the way y/n is literally so supportive of him is my fav thing

user22 all whilst telling him off for not resting enough 🤣🤣 she's too iconic for us, i fear

liked by carlossainz55, fransisca.cgomes, and 3,215,984 others

tagged fransisca.cgomes

yourusername me and kika are truly THOSE BITCHES 😘

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user23 SPEAK ON ITTTT 🗣️🗣️🗣️

user24 my fav wags fr 🫶

fransisca.cgomes my girlll 😍😍

yourusername foreverrr 💘

fransisca.cgomes that second pic is soooo yum

yourusername leave pierre for me RIGHT NOW.

fransisca.cgomes gladlyyy! 😍

pierregasly HUH??

yourusername got ur girl tripod how does it feel 🤣

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

yourusername love youuu!!

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 1,443,999 others

carlossainz55 P1 babyyy!! Onto Japan we go 🎢❤️

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user28 THE SMOOTHEST OPERATOR AROUND

user29 staying up until 2am to watch it was SOOO WORTH IT

user30 SO PROUD!!

yourusername YESSS I KNOW THAT'S RIGHTTT!!

liked by carlossainz55

yourusername MY FUCKING MANNN LET'S GOOO!! P1 BABY 💘💘

carlossainz55 ❤️

user31 the way she supports him will never not warm my heart

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 3,331,354 others

tagged carlossainz55

yourusername he only went and did it!! after his appendix got removed and all. couldn't be fucking prouder 💘

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yourusername proud of @/charles_leclerc as well!! what a way to end the weekend 😘

charles_leclerc thank you y/n!! 😍

yourusername FORZA FERRARI 👊

user31 the way they support each other >>>

user32 actual power couple idc

user33 i need to find myself a y/n asap.

user34 WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT

carlossainz55 te amo siempre ❤️

liked by yourusername

carlossainz55 it was the lack of an appendix that did it 🤣

yourusername @/charles_leclerc are you taking notes??

charles_leclerc already scheduling an appointment for the winter, don't worry 📝

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[velvetti]

You are my liberty

T/W: Imply human trafficking, alcohol abuse, mlm relationship, no direct mention of consent, minors/fem aligned DNI, angst/comfort + smut.

To him, you were a fever dream, a beautiful white rose blooming under the moonlight in a garden of wilting wild flowers, a cold gust of wind in the middle of a hot summer night. You make him wonder if you ever existed at all, or if it's just another hallucination he had during his dark times, when he was struggling to live day by day.

The memories of your first encounter had long engraved itself into his soul. It was a snowy day, right in the middle of September just a few decades ago when he was a child. Forced to watch as the pedestrians walk by him, ignore him, trample him while he slowly dies from hunger and cold inside a dark alleyway, he calls that moment one of the luckiest in his miserable life.

Because, it's when you laid your eyes on him for the first time. He wished he could've travelled back in time and embraced you right then and there instead of halting for a moment like an idiot, but he couldn't blame his past self, you are the most beautiful person he has ever witnessed. Can you blame him for smiling stupidly like a puppy when you offered him a loaf of bread?

He really did love you at first sight, if not love, then what could explain his emotions whenever he talks to you?

His dreams were brutally cut off by the sound of his glass of whisky falling from his work desk. This was the third time that he fell asleep while doing paperwork, by the emperor's words, "A commander shall not halt the empire's progress with his personal troubles", thus, here he is, forced to finish his paperwork while being depressed.

He struggles with paperwork every single day after your disappearance, saying that he was worried was an understatement, the world didn't even have colours when you left. He refused to even go into any taverns during his day off as a commander, just because whenever he looked at the wall, he might be greeted with a missing poster with your face on it, smiling as beautifully as he first remembered you.

He wouldn't call you his soulmate, soulmates can live a life without each other, while without you, he just wants to drown himself in liquor so he could continue seeing you in his dreams. He needed you to live, not just exist.

It didn't take him that long to find a lead about you, after all, everything can be purchased by money. Just a few hundred gold coins and he had already managed to find out where you are. To his surprise, you were kidnapped and are going to be auctioned off soon.

So, he simply killed off the owner of the auction house and stole you before anyone else could even think of getting their pesky hands on your body :)

The bastard had the audacity to lock you in a cage, you even felt skinnier than the last time he hugged you! He should've made the death slower, but he was too excited to see you again. He quickly wrapped his cape around your body and hugged you tightly, at least you're back in his arms again.

;

Fearing that you'll find a way to leave him again, he has decided, why not make you his little husband? It's too cruel to lock you up physically and he doesn't want you to be depressed, you won't be able to get away when you're legally bound to him anyways.

So, without much of a thought, he literally begged you to marry him, hugging your waist while whining to your already flustered self, it took him days if not weeks just to convince you, but in the end, he managed and almost pinned you down and did you right then and there. But he held back, he wanted to wait for you guys' honeymoon, for you to have a proper wedding instead of acting by his own desires, he might've been a cruel person but he's not an asshole.

;

How many times was this already?

Counting just today, a total of three times. He had made love with you three times in a single day during your 2 weeks long honeymoon, and this is just the first day.

The first time was quite- no, very long. At first, he was very gentle, he didn't tore off your white suit the moment you both got on the bed, instead he went slow and made sure to prepare you thoroughly. He promptly fucked you in a mating press position right after you have adjusted though, only slowing down slightly when you sobbed and digged your nails into his back, he kept having that annoying sly smirk on his face, proud to be the one taking your first time and making it worthwhile. The total amount of rounds you've both gone in one night? 15 times, with breaks in-between, of course.

The second time, it was a little more tame compared to the first time. Well, if you count fucking in a garden, anything close to being tame. He bent you over the bench and rearranged your insides right then and there. Your body was still sore from yesterday, so he tried going gentle this time, but he had to grip onto your hips for dear life to refrain from losing his mind. You managed to keep your sounds fairly quiet, so no unfortunate servants passing by would have to hear the embarrassing sounds coming out of your mouth.

The third time, he held the grudges from the second time and let all of them out on you after dinner. You were forced to wear a pair of laced underwear, the provocative kind that shouldn't be seen by any children whatsoever. Your wrists tied together by his tie while he makes out with you and fucks you at the same time. The marks before haven't even completely disappeared from your body, yet they've been replaced with a new one, littered from your inner thighs to your neck.

All of that horny stuff aside, you had to give your little husband a kiss on the forehead after all the rounds you both have gone through. He fell asleep almost immediately afterwards, hugging your waist and resting his head on your chest, without any sort of defence whatsoever. Letting out a sigh, at this point, you don't know if your husband is secretly a golden retriever in disguise or not.

A/N: The end was a bit rushed, if you couldn't tell. The golden retriever thingy is a reference to one of my work that's still a work-in-progress. Thanks for reading, I hope you like this post :b

[literaryavenger]

New Year's Eve

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘

Masterlist

“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.

“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.

It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.

Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together. 

Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.

You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.

You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.

“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.

“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”

“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers. 

Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.

They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.

You're brought back to the present by Tony.

“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.

“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction. 

You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.

“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.

“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.

“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.

“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.

It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.

“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.

“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.

“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing. 

Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.

They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video. 

Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.

“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.

“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.

“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.

“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.

“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.

“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.

“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.

“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.

You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.

The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.

But really what else could it be?

The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.

Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.

He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s. 

Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.

But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that. 

He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.

Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.

At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room. 

You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.

If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever. 

Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.

The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.

The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.

When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier. 

Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.

“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.” 

“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.

Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.

“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”

You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.

Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.

“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”

“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.

“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”

Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he’s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.

“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”

“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.

At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”

They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.

“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.

“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.

“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.

“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”

Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.

“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.

“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try. 

So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.

You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.

Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.

Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.

And so the plan begins.

You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.

You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.

Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”

They had to approach the subject somehow, right?

“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.” 

“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.

“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.

“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.

“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.

“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.

“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.

“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.

Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance. 

Part one of the plan is complete.

The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.

It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.

It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of. 

The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.

Almost.

As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there. 

You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.

You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.

Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?

Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.

“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.

You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”

“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”

“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.

Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.

“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”

He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.

Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.

What the hell is happening to you?

You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.

He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.

“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”

You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”

Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”

You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.

You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.

It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.

All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”

He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers. 

When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.

“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”

You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”

When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh. 

“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.

Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.1

masterlist

ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)

summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge

a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry

warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette.  i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe

im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.

wc: 6k

It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.

It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.

You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.

You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.

You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.

You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.

Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.

So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.

And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.

~

“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.

“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.

“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.

You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”

He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.

“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.

“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”

There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.

You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.

“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.

Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.

“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.

Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”

“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”

He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”

You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.

It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.

“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”

You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”

“Anything specific?” he asked.

“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”

He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.

“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.

“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.

“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”

“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”

Click.

A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.

“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”

As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.

Then everything went black.

~

When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.

Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.

You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.

You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.

Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.

Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.

You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.

Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.

A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.

“Hello?” you called out.

The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.

“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”

A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.

You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.

Bang!

A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.

“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”

The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”

You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.

“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”

“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.

Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.

To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.

They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.

“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.

“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”

“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”

“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.

“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.

“How close am I to Terranova?”

“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.

“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”

Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”

“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”

“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”

“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”

“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.

“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”

Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”

The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.

~

“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”

A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.

“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”

Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.

“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”

“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”

Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”

“Y/N,” Dina supplied.

“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”

“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”

“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.

“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”

“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.

“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”

“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”

You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”

“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”

“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”

Joel blinked. “What now?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”

“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”

Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”

“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”

“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”

You cringed.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”

“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.

“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”

Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”

“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”

“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.

“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”

The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”

“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”

“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”

Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”

You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.

Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”

“Terranova.”

Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.

“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”

“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”

“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”

Ellie arched a brow.

“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”

“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”

“Oh.”

“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”

“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.

“Didn’t think so.”

“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”

“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”

You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.

“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”

Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…

“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.

Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”

“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.

“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”  

“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.

“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”

“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”

She was about to answer when the door banged open.

“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.

“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”

You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”

“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.

“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”

“Dina!”

Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”

“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”

“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”

“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”

“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”

“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”

“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”

Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”

You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”

“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”

“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”

“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”

You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.

“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”

Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”

~

By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.

“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”

“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.

Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.

“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”

“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.  

Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”

You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”

“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.

“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”

Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”

Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”

He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.

“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”

“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”

“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”

Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”

“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”

“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”

“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”

“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”

Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.

When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.

“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”

You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.

“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”

“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”

“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.  

“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”

Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.

When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.

Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.

She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.

again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it 

[meshlasolus]

Don’t Blame Me

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: i am so tired and everyone hates me but hey at least i still have dbf joel

Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, some smut, probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am… again

This one is awkward ngl

Decided on the song ‘Don’t blame me’ by taylor swift bc I’m a swiftie and what else was i supposed to put?

MASTERLIST

reader is like 21/22, joel is 37

“Here, you grab that end,” you gave his shoulder a light shove, nodding towards the end of the beam as you sunk down by the other. “You shouldn’t overdo it, you might feel sick again.”

“M’ stronger than I look,” he mumbled, and you scoffed.

“Trust me, I know…” you ignored his waves of dismissal, and began lifting from one side. “But you need to take it easy. Save your energy.”

The temp job was easy, mostly because Joel did most of the heavy lifting. It had been all fun and games for the first week, standing by him and watching him work, handing him the specific tools when he asked. Seemed like a dream job in most aspects, getting to sit and look pretty while the man you’re sneaking around with gets all hot and sweaty, his arms a bulging mass of muscle under the short sleeves of his dark t-shirt. 

He would often smirk when he sensed you were taking him in, admiring the view from where the toolbox was sitting. He would tease you relentlessly for it, of course, as is his way… but it didn’t stop your glances and forbidden stares. 

A whole week it had been this way, and you were more than happy to keep the flow of things going, but unfortunately on Sunday night, Joel got sick. 

It was just a fever, nothing he couldn’t sleep off in a few days. He’d called you on Monday morning before he even called anyone else at the site. They all wished him well and sent their little ‘get better soon’ messages thereafter, while you offered to drop by later with some ‘sick day’ supplies. He told you he didn’t want you catching whatever he had, and you understood that if you were sick, too, the odds of seeing each other would get lower. 

Week number two, the first several days of which were spent without Joel, and doing far too much heavy lifting of your own. There was another woman working with you all, and they supposed that two of you could make up for one Joel. You didn’t even realize how truly strong he was until you had to carry the weight he normally did. Even with another person, it was tiring and straining, and downright gruesome on your muscles. You’d been sore every night you went home. 

As soon as Joel came back, you’d have to remember to help him out a bit more, because there’s no way he enjoys not being assisted. He always insists you don’t have to, but you’ve learned how hard it is, so you want to. 

Thursday, Joel’s first day back at work, not feeling completely himself, but better enough to come into work and make some progress. 

You paid mind when he bent down to lift a heavy beam that should have taken two men to carry. 

“Here, you grab that end,” you gave his shoulder a light shove, nodding towards the end of the beam as you sunk down by the other. “You shouldn’t overdo it, you might feel sick again.”

“M’ stronger than I look,” he mumbled, and you scoffed.

“Trust me, I know…” you ignored his waves of dismissal, and began lifting from one side. “But you need to take it easy. Save your energy.”

He gave you a look, narrow eyes and furrowed brows, “Save it for what?”

You shrugged, beginning to walk backwards once he had his part lifted high enough to move the beam. You looked over your shoulder a few times to make sure you weren’t gonna crash into anything. 

“Just don’t want you to keep gettin’ sick. Been missin’ you,” you admitted, waiting for his reaction. He’d been feeling the same way, you knew. He’d sent you texts after you got home from work everyday to tell you so. 

“Missed you too, baby,” he set down his end once you both reached the correct spot on the interior, kicking it into place by the rest of the framework. 

You smiled sweetly at him, continuing the work as if nothing happened. As if your heart didn’t skip a beat from hearing those words in person, in his voice, dripping with the Texan drawl you were so fond of. It was comforting, it was familiar, and it gave you a sense of security. 

-

By the time Monday rolled around again, the framework had been completed and the electrical and plumbing started to take place. This was less of Joel’s and your dad’s specialty, but they still always showed up to oversee everything being done on time and to the company’s standards. 

This, of course, meant that you were nearly obsolete, and didn’t need to show up for the next few days. Now that you were the one being barred from doing any work, you had to come up with other excuses to drop by Joel’s after he came home from work. 

‘You left your jacket on our couch, and I wanted you to have it back before it gets cold out.’ 

Or 

‘My dad made a really good four cheese lasagna, I brought you some to try.’

It was always so much harder to figure out a time or place to meet up, since he and your dad worked together, and Sarah was almost always at the house after school. 

He knew you were going stir crazy, and even though he’d been tired and worn, he knew he had to see you… alone.

You were in the kitchen rinsing out your cereal bowl when your phone buzzed on the counter top. 

Sarah’s going over with a friend to spend the night, I’m on my way home right now.

Is that an invitation?

Damn right it is.

You smiled wide, not even bothering to do anything else with the bowl in your hand. You dropped it in the sink and went galavanting about your house and up to your room. Your dad would probably be getting home about the same time as Joel, maybe a bit later, but you figured you should wait to see him before you leave for the night. You’d feel even more guilty if you just shot him a text and left for his best friend’s place, right next door for the night. 

You got wrapped up in a sweatshirt and some jogging shorts, grabbing your backpack and phone charger, swinging around the doorway and back down the stairs. 

As luck would have it, the sound of keys in the door caught you just as you reached the bottom. You dad pushed through the door, his yawn of exhaustion clearly evident. He hooked the keys on the wall hanger beside him, then turned to see you, pulling the straps of your bag up your arms. 

“Hey there, lovebug,” he smiled, taking a few steps up to hug you around the neck and peck the top of your head. “Where are you off to?” 

You thought for only a split second before forming a story. 

“Nowhere in particular… just got invited by some friends to drive around and get some fast food.” 

Very convincing, and he laughed, shaking his head. 

“Kids these days, I’ll tell ya… back n’ my day we used to go to movies or walk around a mall. Used to do actual activities n’ things.” 

You rolled your eyes, letting him rant on about the ‘strange ways’ of your generation.

“Well, we aren’t kids, but we are easily entertained. I’ll see you later, though.”

You gave him a pat on his shoulder and a quick kiss to his cheek before heading out the door. Right before it shut, you could hear your dad fumbling around in the kitchen. He would probably be distracted for a while. 

Your face turned giddy as soon as you looked over to see Joel’s truck had been parked. You tried to look as nonchalant as possible, walking plainly over to the house next door, just in case there were any neighbors looking through an open window. You had no qualms about being near or with Joel, but you did have a problem with outside people making it their topic of conversation in the neighborhood gossip chain.

You got up to the door, and knocked, the door opening within maybe five seconds or less. The response time was near immediate, and you wondered if he’d been sitting in his chair near the door. 

“Hi there, I’m here to tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ,” you said seriously when he leaned into the doorframe, only breaking your facade when he stood there, unamused. You let out a giggle and at the noise he dropped his hard exterior.

He rolled his eyes and nodded inside before stepping back enough to allow you entrance.

“How was work?” You asked, dropping your backpack on the chair and waiting for him to close the door. 

“S’ alright. Mostly just a long and boring day with nothing pretty to see.”

“I’m sure my absence had nothing to do with that,” you remarked sarcastically, letting him take the last few steps to meet you. He looked so tired, and yet, completely awake just at the sight of you. 

“No, nothing at all.”

He took you into his arms and leaned down by your ear, whispering the last part of his words to you. It had been several days since you could stand like this, out of sight of others, their prying eyes all but away to witness the way he held you and squeezed you tightly. 

He smelled of sweat and concrete powder, which, though wasn’t a horribly unpleasant smell, you felt it couldn’t be comfortable to have it all over one's body. 

“Why don’t you head up to the shower and I’ll order a pizza?” You suggested, pulling back to see his worn out face, feeling the deep inhale of his breath by his chest. He let it out with a hunch of his shoulders as he replied. 

“I got food here, I can cook up sum’ quick-”

“Joel you’re exhausted, and besides… I got dominoes rewards,” you joked, pressing up to kiss the tip of his nose. There was no room for protest after that, and he nodded in agreement before pulling away to head upstairs. 

He had half a mind to ask you to join him, but having not crossed that line before, he didn’t really know what was on and what was off of the table. He shook the thought from his mind, going into his bathroom and starting the water. 

The domesticity was intoxicating. Hugging you after he got home from a long work day, of which he missed seeing your face. Seeing your smile and hearing your laugh and all the little gestures you make that you don’t even realize you’re doing. Sending him upstairs to get cleaned up only so he can come back down to you and eat pizza on the couch together. He hated how much he loved it, relaxed into it, even.

It’s almost too good to be true… and maybe it is. Because while you fit him perfectly, and while you both can pick up without missing a beat, you’re still the kid next door. His best friend’s daughter, and someone he should absolutely not be doing anything stupid with. That’s exactly what this was, wasn’t it? Stupidity. There’s no way this relationship ends well. Whether your dad comes around, or Sarah does, or the entire town for that matter. Whether or not his reputation is ruined, or yours. Nothing good can come from sneaking around, the quiet embraces or the late night stolen kisses. But you can’t stop, and neither can he.

He gets into the shower with a clear mind. Whatever happens, I have her for right now. 

-

You paid for the pizza and carried it inside, kicking the door shut as you balanced it along with the sides and sauces all in your arms. Joel had gotten out of his shower a few minutes ago, and was probably getting dried off and changed, so it was perfect timing that you had everything set out on the countertop when he came trotting down the stairs. 

“Hey, I got you some wings,” you told him, pointing to the box labeled ‘hot buffalo’ across from where you sat on the barstool. You’d been dipping a breadstick in marinara when he walked around you, kissing the side of your head before sitting down beside you. 

“Thank you,” he spoke gratefully, his hands already reaching for the box, moving the pizza to the side for a moment. You knew what he liked, a testament of the time you’d known him for. “So what’ve you been up to? Now that you’ve had a break from work?” 

“I wouldn’t call what I do actual work,” you snorted, but paused and tilted your head, recalling the day’s events. “I cleaned up ‘round the house, went to get some groceries for my dad, came home n’ watched some tv n’ had half a bowl of cereal.”

“Sounds eventful,” he mocked, and you gave him a nudge with your elbow. He chuckled, taking a bite of a chicken wing. 

“Haven’t really had anything else to do,” you shrugged, grabbing a pizza slice and dragging it out of the box, carefully pulling the cheese so it didn’t flop all over the counter top. “Not that I’m complainin’, though. Rather have time on my hands than be too busy.”

He understood that. It seemed like all he ever did was work nowadays. It was the same cycle, over and again. Wake up at six in the morning, eat breakfast with Sarah, drop her off at school, and get back to the grind. Framing, insulating, installing, furnishing, repeat. All day, every day. Come home late to dinner with Sarah and sometimes watch a movie before bed. It’s all he ever does, and though it’s consistent, and it’s familiar, he aches for the additional warmth you bring. It’s why he called you over that first night in the bar. He hadn’t expected to see you back, and moreover, he didn’t expect you to seem so grown up. 

He swears up and down that if you hadn’t been there that night, practically taunting him during that line dance, that this would have never happened. You both would have gone on to live alongside one another, but separately, just as you always have. 

The conversation continued, slowly, with no pressure of any answer from either side. It was easy, natural. Joel didn’t like talking when he didn’t have to, and although it was different around you, he still kept his words to a few. 

Once the pizza was eaten, the trash was discarded, and you’d move to the sink to get some of the grease off your hands. 

“Y’know, we’re gonna be startin’ on interior installations soon, you might be able to come back and work on some stuff with me, if you still want to.”

You were excited at the thought of his words. Getting to watch Joel Miller lift heavy things like countertops and cabinets? And all the while, getting to watch from a now insulated house? That was even better. 

“Well, I’ll obviously have to check my schedule. You know how busy I can be,” you joked, drying your hands on a paper towel from beside the sink. You turned around to throw it away but got caught between Joel and the counter, his arms coming down on either side. 

“You tease me far too much, y’know that?” He lowered his head to meet your eyeline and you took a sharp intake of breath. 

“Only because it’s far too much fun.”

He shook his head, getting close enough to close the gap and kiss you. First just short and sweet, then after a second glance, faster, and more motivated. Your hands found a place on his cheeks right away, holding him close to you while he kissed you deeper, his tongue finding its way between your lips. His hands went from beside you to under your thighs, picking you up as if you weighed nothing, and setting you down onto the edge of the counter by the sink. With your legs open, you pulled him into your body, not even realizing how roughly you’d done so. 

“Damn baby, you’re gettin’ real strong,” he chuckled, burying his face into your neck to kiss and suck marks there. Consequences and aftermath be damned, he wouldn’t stop.

“Must be from all the heavy liftin’ last week… pickin’ up your slack.”

He bit down harsher into your skin, and you moaned out a noise akin to pain and pleasure. 

“Keep talkin’ baby, I’ll show you real slack.” 

“Only gonna make me stronger,” you whispered against the side of his head, a smirk resting on your face, even in the position you were sitting. He had all the power, but you still had your little quips.

His hands at the bottom of your sweatshirt were hesitant. He talked confidently, without pause or conviction, but the truth of the matter would always remain that he was going to be hesitant with you. You’re the forbidden fruit, the thing he wasn’t supposed to touch, and yet… here he stands, his hands under your hoodie and lips thoroughly attached to the crook of your neck and shoulder. 

“Fuck it,” he let out, dragging the hem of your clothing upwards until you raised your arms for it to come off. Where it landed, you’d have no idea. You just know that in this moment, with his hands on your bare skin, you couldn’t care less if you ever saw it again. 

You’d not really paid mind to what you wore underneath it, an old red and gray tie-dye sports bra now the only thing to adorn the top of your body. He didn’t care in the slightest, far too happy to even see you in that.

He quickly moved you from the counter into his arms, journeying through the kitchen and again to the living room, just like last time… except instead of sitting down, letting you remain on his lap, he laid you back into the cushioned area, crawling over you to hover back where he had been before. 

You didn’t think it was fair to let him take off clothing while remaining fully clothed. 

“My turn,” you pushed him back, ripping at his t-shirt to try and rid him of it. It was a fresh shirt, probably just came out of the dryer last night, but you tossed it to the ground without a second thought. 

You don’t recall seeing Joel shirtless. You remember that one time at the water park after graduation, when he wore a pair of trucks, and a sun shirt. Whether it was because he was afraid of getting sunburned, or because he was self conscious, you would never know. From what you could see, you couldn’t possibly imagine it being the latter. He wasn’t ripped, or even overly toned for that matter. He had a sculpted softness about him that was completely beautiful. He doesn’t work out, but he definitely works. His arms are full and muscular from the heavy lifting, and his shoulders are naturally broad, defined by the bulk he’s put on over the years. 

You don’t know if you’ve ever seen a body like his. The boys that have pursued you at college have always been either overly scrawny, or beef cakes. They want to be the hottest thing around. Want to be desired by every girl that walks past them, just so they can feed their ego and feel better about themselves ten years from now. Joel isn’t like that. He’s got a cocky attitude about himself, but it’s more in his teasing and snarky demeanor towards you than anything else. He’s sarcastic, and cynical, but he’s not doing it for show. 

He’s old enough to realize he doesn’t have to impress anyone, because the right person will want him regardless, and you do.

You want him because he’s Joel Miller, not some body builder, or football player, or gym rat that stalks the hallways of your dorms. 

You want him for his strong arms, tan lines right where his shirts normally end. You want him for his wide shoulders, even with the little scratches from bumping into wooden framing all day. You want him for the patchy beard on his face, knowing he only keeps it because he’s far too busy, and nearly always too tired to keep up with the clean shaven look. You want him for his dark curls, graying more every day and turning the color silver when he stands in the sun. You want him for his big hands, with the calluses and rough palms, but with the softest and most gentle fingertips you’ve ever felt on your face. You want him for the softness of his stomach, though seen as a flaw by most of society, you’d much prefer it to the discomfort of a stomach toned with abs. You want him for every bit of himself. You want him because he’s perfect.

He stripped your shorts and underwear from you at once, and it amazed you how adeptly he did it. He’s been doing this for years, he knows what he’s doing, stupid.

“You alright?” He looked back at you, his eyes glazed over completely. The darkness that was there was the same lustfull darkness you’d seen before, and you anticipated what may come from it. 

“Yeah,” you smiled, watching him sink backwards and down your body. He parted your legs in a swift motion, unwilling to slow himself down on account of being so close to what he wants. “You don’t have to-”

“Shh, baby,” he pulled your hips upward and towards his face, admiring the slickness already resting between your legs before he lowered his mouth to taste it. It was so addicting, the smell of you, and he knew the second his tongue ran a long stripe up and down, he would be craving you constantly. Always on the verge of wanting you from now on. 

The noises you made, lordy, he didn’t know someone could sound like that. The very fact that you were unashamed to hide it from him, too. He loves it, how vocal you are, and how much you want him to know how he makes you feel. 

He held one finger to your entrance, coating it in your slick before plunging it deep inside of you, the curl of his knuckle making you writhe under him. He added another finger to see if you could take it. You were so tight already, and he knew that if you weren’t stretched out enough he would hurt you. 

Two fingers wasn’t necessarily painful, but it caused a bit of discomfort at first. You didn’t expect that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you tried to relax anyway. You wanted him so badly, wanted him entirely, and didn’t want this to put a damper on anything. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Just like that,” he praised, trying to help you open up more with the added pressure of his thumb on your clit. The gentle circles helped you to feel less of a stretch, and the pleasure was building. You wove your hands into his hair, trying to feel a tether of reality somewhere. He kept on, and went faster, and you felt yourself at a breaking point. 

With his name on your lips, you broke apart, releasing all the tension left in your body to allow that euphoric rush to consume you. It caused your body to tremble under his, but you paid no mind to it. Once he retrieved his fingers from you, he held them up to his mouth, licking the sweetness from them that you so generously bestowed upon him. 

You tried to sit up, to reach for his belt buckle, but he stopped you. 

“Not tonight, baby,” he grabbed your hands and kissed them, the slightest bit of residue remaining on his lips. 

“But I want to.”

“I know you do,” he smiled, brushing your hair aside to kiss you now, instead. “I just don’t wanna hurt you. Let’s work towards it, okay?” 

You nodded, a bit embarrassed that you weren’t quite experienced enough to continue yet. Not to say you were inexperienced, but you definitely weren’t ready to take him yet, and he knew that for sure. The last thing he’d want to do is go too far and make it unpleasant for you. 

He’s a good man, with good intentions. Even if this relationship - whatever you want to call it - is forbidden, he’s still trying to do right by you. It’s unspoken, but you’re his girl now, and he would never hurt his girl.

.

tags: @justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee @anoverwhelmingdin @theatrelove3000

[thelightsandtheroses]

One: I was just coasting until we met

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader

Summary: When Joel finds you on your self-assigned insomnia bench one night, it sparks an unexpected friendship that quickly develops into more. Finding peace in the middle of an apocalypse always seemed impossible, but being with Joel feels natural, like a missing piece has fallen into place at last. When a ghost from your past threatens to destroy the peace you’ve found in Jackson, everything will change.

Word Count: 2.5k

Overarching Series Warnings - 18+ blog - minors do not interact, unexpected friendship, developing relationship, idiots in love, flangst, typical TLOU content, references to cults, references to past manipulation, references to past violence, references to PTSD, single parent reader, some secondary original characters, etc. No use of Y/N, any further warnings to be added as appropriate. No specific age for reader, but range is implied in later chapters (minimum of 30s but not specified any further than that) Notes: This idea has been going around my head for months and I’m so excited to actually do something with this and share it. Also, a special thank you to the lovely @darkroastjoel for encouraging me to write this weeks ago when I wasn’t sure of the concept. The chapter title is from I’m With You by Vance Joy. 

One: I was just coasting till we met

Series List | Next

Jackson, WY, 2024

There’s nothing but stars and night sky ahead of you. If you look behind you, you can see a few sparse lights illuminating houses in Jackson, but ahead of you there are no distractions, just the trees and the sky and vastness of the world around you.

The air is cool and smells fresh; a mix of woodland, of the night. You adjust the thick woollen cardigan around your pyjama top and faded sweatpants. There’s no one around at this time of night so you haven’t made a real effort to get dressed or worry about your appearance.

You’ve come here many times before but it never fails to take you aback. The vastness, the stars, the way it makes you feel insignificant but not in a negative way. The only sounds you can hear are the insects and wind blowing through trees.

It’s peaceful, or as close to peaceful as exists these days. For a while, you could forget about the world you live in, convince yourself the last twenty years have been some sick fever dream instead.

In the two years you’ve lived in Jackson, this has become your spot. It’s where you go when you can’t sleep. It’s where you go when the past gets to you, when you either wake because of creeping nightmares and ghosts, or after hours of lying in your bed in a restless, anxious state wishing for slumber. 

You only ever come here at night. It’s as if there’s some sort of magic in place that would either ruin or remove the bench in the daytime. 

When you first came to this town, the idea of wandering around in the middle of the night seemed preposterous, downright reckless after living in Kansas QZ. 

However, one night you hit a breaking point.

You’d been lying in your bed, restless and unable to relax. Every time you thought you might finally drift into sleep, your heart would race and your throat would be so dry that you wondered if you were dying. You would become irrationally concerned you might just stop breathing if you did fall asleep at all. It was a pattern of insomnia that had followed you for years, from before Kansas and beyond. When you did finally sleep, you’d have nightmares, but most of your nights were shaped by restlessness.

That night, as you desperately tried not to wake anyone else up, hating them all for being able to sleep, you felt like you were going to finally break. You had to get out, just clear your head a little. 

You discovered the bench that night, perfectly positioned to watch the sunrise, to take in the world around you without distraction or worries.

It’s a special spot; serene and soothing. It’s your sanctuary.

 Sometimes you don’t need to come here, your record is a week and half away - an achievement you only reached a few days ago, but inevitably, and usually at least twice a week, you’ll end up back on your bench waiting for the sun to meet you and wash away your ghosts. 

There’s the crunching sound of boots on gravel behind you and you turn around cautiously, one hand clinging to the edge of the bench. You’ve been complacent, you chastise yourself, you don’t even have a weapon with you.

Joel Miller stands before you; a battered brown coat buttoned up to his neck, torch in one hand, with the other jammed into a jacket pocket, and a bemused expression on his face when he sees you sitting there.

You’ve heard enough of him from the other locals since his arrival; he’s Tommy’s older brother, Maria isn’t sure of him, he settled here with a teenage ward a couple of months ago. Some of the other locals have said Ellie, the girl, is almost feral. Your impression of her from fleeting visits to the library is that she’s curious, she’s haunted, not used to a community like Jackson (and these days, who would be?) and perhaps the most honest person you’ve met in years. 

”May I?” he asks, indicating the empty space on the bench next to you. You almost want to laugh at the Southern lilt to his voice, the polite manners he’s showing you. 

‘May I?’ is not a phrase that belongs in this world anymore. People take, some people give, but most take. When the world ends, manners fade. When the world ends, you ask for forgiveness and not permission. 

It’s why your instinct is to say no, to say ‘Actually fuck you, Tommy’s brother, and go find another insomnia bench, this one is mine!’

You don’t do that though. Jackson brings back those manners, or it’s trying to at least. And even if you think it belongs to you, technically it’s not your bench because this is a stupid commune. 

So you grimace and nod, frustrated about the interruption as Joel Miller sits next to you. 

It’s the first time you’ve had a chance to look at Tommy’s brother this closely.  While you can see the familial similarities, Joel’s different. His greying dark hair is far shorter, almost messy at the moment like he’s just woken up and walked here. It’s almost endearing.

There’s a scar on the right side of his temple, the one closest to you, and you try and take in every detail of him, to analyse and evaluate just who this person next to you could be. 

You expect to feel uncomfortable at his presence, to feel on edge and ready to flee or pounce, but you don’t.  

“It’s uh, a good view from here,” Joel says after a moment. 

You nod noncommittally and clasp your hands together on your lap. 

“I’ve seen you around Jackson. I’m Joel,” he continues. His voice is surprisingly soft, gentle as though he wants to put you at ease. It shows a level of consideration you didn’t expect, one that makes you more honest in your reply.

“It’s a small town, I know who you are, Joel Miller.” 

“Oh really?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow and for a second something else flashes across his face. “What have you been told about me then?”

“You’re new, you’re Tommy’s brother. I think that’s about it. Heard you and Tommy are good on patrol.” 

“Oh yeah?” Unlike most of the men in Jackson, he doesn’t seem to puff with pride at that compliment. He looks at his hands, wringing them together then before asking, “So, that’s me. What about you then? What’s your name?”

You introduce yourself, taking in the way he repeats your name - how it sounds on his lips.

“I haven’t seen you around town much before,” he says after a moment.

“Would you have even noticed?”

“Someone like you? Most definitely.” You look at the ground in surprise, certain that you’re misinterpreting his words. 

He’s just being polite.

It’s just the insomnia. 

“It is a good view. You’re right,” you say quietly, keen to shift the conversation away from yourself and back to this moment. “It’s a really great spot for the sunrise.”

“I know,” he says calmly.

You pause. Has Joel Miller been using your bench when you haven’t? Is your bench essentially cheating on you?  You’ve always believed this was your secret, your place, but perhaps it’s a timeshare instead.

For some reason, the thought of that upsets you more than you expect.  You try and shake it off though, to be polite and good and everything someone who lives in Jackson is expected to be.

Perhaps you can share the bench … today. Just for today.

“How are you liking Jackson so far then?” you ask.

Joel scoffs quietly to himself and you look over with raised eyebrows. 

“Been asked that a few times already, huh?”

“You could say that.”

“Why am I not surprised? Well, we don’t get that many new arrivals and you’re Tommy’s brother. People were bound to talk. They’ll settle down when something else comes along.”

“‘S been weeks now. Besides, I thought you just said you don’t get many newcomers, how long exactly is this going to last?” he asks, leaning forward for a moment, his arms crossed on his knees and head down.

You smile to yourself, wondering if you should admit how long it took for people to stop asking your group how you were liking Jackson, how long it has really taken to be seen as a resident and not a new arrival. 

“Well, there’s a new litter of puppies due soon, and I heard a rumour that there’s going to be another dance again in the next few weeks. Your arrival will become old news before you know it,” you say with false sincerity.

He chuckles to himself. “This really is like a small town, huh? That uh, -“

“Nosiness? Lack of privacy? Gossip mill?”

“All of the above. So, you think puppies will help?”

“Everyone loves puppies, Joel Miller. Probably even you do.”

He smirks. “Really, do I look like that to you?” There’s a teasing tone to his voice, mischief in what you can make out of his eyes in the dim light. 

“Sure you do.”

“So we’ve just got to wait for a bunch of puppies or some town dance for me an’ Ellie to be old news? Okay, here’s hoping.”

A silence falls between you but unlike before, it feels companionable, calming even. 

“So, you said ‘I know’ when I said it was a good spot for the sunrise. Does that mean you’ve been out here before then?” you ask as your curiosity finally wins out. 

Joel looks over at you with a smirk, “Why, is that really bothering you, huh? A couple of times, sure.” He shifts his weight slightly, places an arm on the bench and turns himself so he’s facing you.

“I just haven’t seen you out here before, that’s all.”

“You come out here at this hour a lot?” Joel raises an eyebrow that you can’t tell whether conveys being impressed or incredulous.

“Sometimes,” you say lightly. Most times.

“How long have you been out here then?” Joel asks.

“On this bench? About an hour. In Jackson? Two years, give or take.”

 “An’ how are you likin’ Jackson so far?” he asks, a mischievous spark in his eyes that even in the dim light takes years off him, makes him look lighter. 

You laugh before you can stop yourself. 

“Touché, Joel.”

“Couldn’t resist.”

“Do you know what? Honestly, I didn’t believe it at first,” you say after a moment. “Places like this - they don’t work, okay? Someone always wants to be in control, power abhors a vacuum and then power corrupts, right? We were watching that play out before cordyceps, and if I’ve learned anything these last twenty years …  so when we got here, I didn’t want to stick around too long. I guess that I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop? Only now, now I’m still here and I guess this place, maybe it just works. It shouldn’t, but it does.”

You’re not sure what makes the truth spill out of you like that. Perhaps it’s because it’s the middle of the night, or it’s the power of the bench, or more likely, it’s because you know Joel is probably out here for a similar reason to you. 

You can see it in his eyes, in the way he’s sitting. 

“That’s what my - my - I’ve heard that before.  That this place actually works,” Joel says. “I know what you mean though. You see enough of all that in the QZs. Is that where you were before here?”

“Before Jackson, I was in Kansas for a while.” 

“Oh.” 

“Huh, I take it you’ve heard the stories then?” 

Kansas had a reputation amongst all the remaining QZs. FEDRA had been brutal there; ruled the city with an iron fist and realised every nightmare of a brutal regime.

 It was no surprise the fireflies had been so present there at one point, the symbol of hope and rising up against tyranny. Only they had abandoned Kansas years ago and it was down to those who stayed to try and fight back. You remembered Michael, who had tried to lead a movement against FEDRA, a man who was working towards a peaceful rebellion, as if such a thing could exist.  The QZ had gone dark months ago though. It didn’t bode well and you’d heard the whispers that perhaps Kansas was no more. 

“I uh - passed through on my way here.” Joel shifts awkwardly.

“It’s gone, isn’t it?”

Joel pauses and regards you carefully before he replies.“Yeah.”

“I take it that FEDRA and Michael’s group just - it doesn’t matter actually.” They’re all dead anyway, you think, the facts won’t change that.  

Flashes of years pass you. 

Violence. So much violence. Then those moments between, the ones that managed to burrow and bury themselves beneath your skin.

Your ex-boyfriend and you kissing in the kitchen of your crappy apartment  …

Your birthday - singing to that cheesy rock song in the living room and dancing to an old song with Sean and his sister.

Marking Gabriel’s height each birthday on the kitchen wall because it felt like a normal thing to do, a new line each year, each growth spurt measured.

Your ex-boyfriend and you arguing over the system, over the possibilities for Kansas. You wonder how long he lasted after you left Kansas - if he was there for its end.

Separations … losses …  too many deaths … pockets of hope and continued disappointments.

You okay?” Joel asks, a reluctant expression on his face.

“I’m fine. Left there for a reason.”

“Right.”

“It’s fine.”

Kansas had never really been home. You can’t make a home in a place you’re constantly on alert in, where you subsist on fear and anxiety. You could exist there though and at least in Kansas it was clear who was running the show, clear who was in charge. 

Jackson is the closest to a home you’ve found in more than twenty years, and even here you feel halfway out of the door. 

Joel’s still looking at you though, his brow furrowed like you’re a map he can’t read, an unfathomable equation.

You shrug and resume staring ahead at the forest ahead, at letting every sound, smell and sound around you just soak in, to create an illusion of peace.

After a while you steal a glance at Joel. He’s still on the other side of the bench; the hand on the arm leaning on the bench now pinching the space behind his brows, his eyes momentarily shut.

You’re not sure exactly how much time passes like this but soon the darkness fades and dawn rises to greet you with the promise of a new day.

You stand up, brushing imaginary dirt off your clothes and meet Joel’s gaze. “See you around, Joel Miller.”

“See you,” he replies lightly.

As you walk down the hill, you turn around and notice Joel’s still sitting there, focused on the horizon ahead.

This isn’t going to be the only time you find Joel on your bench, you realise. Suddenly, your lonely but peaceful sanctuary has an addition. You know the two of you will find yourselves on this bench again in the middle of the night.

If you hadn’t spoken to Joel, the loss of that solitude would be devastating, but it’s not. 

 So, you think to yourself, it turns out you’re not the only insomniac wanderer in Jackson.

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[syndxlla]

best friends don’t look at each other the way we do

A low stakes, high rewards and self-indulgent Zelink fanfic. Canon-compliant, takes place between BOTW and TOTK

chapter three: She is beautiful, I am a mess

Read chapter two here

My masterlist

Song: Lights are On by Tom Rosenthal

Summary: Link processes his destiny while Zelda slowly recovers. Link meets with an old friend, and realizes how much he wants to Zelda in his life.

Warnings: PTSD, implied self-harm, illness, trauma

Word Count: 3.3k words

Authors note: The last line of this? Scrumptious. I ate that up. Also I’m going to start doing different pieces of art/gifs at the start of each chapter mostly so I can see the differences in the notifications! Thanks for all the support! Everyone has been so kind this is easily the most supportive fan base I’ve ever written for.

Link doesn’t leave her side the entire night, yet again. He sits on a stool pushed against the bed, and watches as she breathes in the sleep. He refuses to sleep, which means he’s gone about four days now with very little actual rest. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but fighting Ganon on the second day of that no sleep schedule has really taken a toll on his physical health.

In his quiet contemplation as Zelda rested, the weight of what just happened set in. His heart rate rose as he remembered the sight of the Calamity, its spider-like body dripping with malice and disgust as it sneered at him. The stench is still pungent in his memory, his bad ear still beats with the blood that filled his body as he faced his destiny for a second time. He’s supposed to be courageous, unafraid and rarely daunted by his fate, but in reality he’s terrified.

Link doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the feeling in his bones as witnessed by the beast. How he felt paralyzed, how the night before he prayed to the Goddess that he wouldn’t wake up. Make someone else do it, please.

He could never admit this to anyone, and even struggles to admit it to himself. If he’s supposed to be the closest thing to the God of Bravery, why does he feel like such a pathetic coward most of the time? Maybe it was his reckless abandon that caused his status, or the fact that he’s so desensitized to the horrors of his knighthood. But those things do not equate to courage.

What even was courage, he asks himself.

He looks at Zelda. “She is beautiful”, he thinks “I am a mess”.

Link places a nervous thumb to her jaw with trepidation. He gently holds her face, soft enough that it wouldn’t wake her. Her skin is so soft, her eyelashes so gentle, her breathing even. Does she have any idea how beautiful she is when she sleeps?

When day finally breaks, Link realizes how cold it’s gotten in the house, and he takes the brave step of leaving the sleeping princess to build a fire in the hearth. He does so quickly, using a fire arrow. He pulls on a warm shirt, and quickly returns upstairs to Zelda.

She was awake, looking up at him.

“You should keep sleeping.” He whispers.

She groans, “Why did you leave?” She was aware enough to tell?

“I built a fire.” Link explains, "It's cold.”

“Oh.” Zelda whispers, “I am cold.”

Link crosses to his dresser and pulls out a woven blanket from the bottom drawer, draping it over her and the blanket she already had. She whispers thank you. ”Did you dream?” Link asks.

Zelda nods.

“It was me and my mom, we were eating and laughing together.” She describes and Link smiles. He places his hand against her forehead, and feels that she’s burning up. Of course she has a fever, that would cause her body to have the chills, that on top of a cold house wasn’t a good fit.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, vocalizing from a whisper for the first time.

Zelda thinks about it for a moment, she’s so snuggled up in the blankets all he can see is her face. “I’m not sick.” She states. Link is skeptical, but he nods.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to leave me again?” She asks.

“I might. I think I’ll go into town and get some things from the market, and I should probably send a message to Impa that we’re alive.” Link explains. Zelda frowns.

“I’m scared to be alone again.”

Link frowns, “You’ll be okay. But you need to sleep, your body is trying to recover from-“ He stops himself, he doesn't need to explain any further.

“You need sleep, too.” Zelda replies. She was right.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugs it off. “But you need to promise me that you’ll be okay if I leave for a few hours, alright?”

Zelda groans, “You’ll come back, right?”

“Of course.”

It’s a few more hours before he leaves, he waits until Zelda falls back asleep, and it’s mid-morning when he finally does. He makes his way into Hateno Village, which is as lively as ever. He first stops in at the general store, buying a few essential items, and telling the store keeper about where he was last.

“You’re telling me you got rid of that thing at Hyrule Castle?” He asks, skeptical. Link just nods and shrugs as he examines a swift carrot. Like it was no big deal. The man laughs behind the counter, “And you lived to tell the tale? I don’t believe it.” He scoffs.

Link sets his items on the table between them, digging out a handful of rupees. “Well, I lived to tell the tale of Naydra last year, you all witnessed that, didn’t you?”

“I suppose… but that thing at the castle is a legend, I never even saw it. Just got told ghost stories of it as a boy.” His voice was gruff.

Link smiles, “whatever you want to believe, you don’t have to believe me.” Link sets to rupees down.

“That’s more than the cost.” The man states.

“Keep it.” Link pushes it towards him before putting his items in his pouch. “Use it to fix your roof, I saw it was leaking.”

The man smiles, “you’re always so good to us, Link. This village owes you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, except maybe your trust. The story will spread and rumors will, too.” Link turns to leave, but stops just outside of the door, speaking over his shoulder. “It wasn’t a ghost either, it was a spider-like thing that hatched out of a cocoon with giant axes and swords.” Link opens his arms up to show the size, “Probably at least the size of three oxen!” The shopkeeper's face goes pale, “But that wasn’t even the hard part!” Link starts to smile mischievously, “Then we took the battle onto Hyrule Field, and he turned into a massive pig. As big as a house, or bigger.”

The owner was dumbfounded, unable to reply at first, but then he shook his head, “You have quite the imagination, Link!” He chuckles and waves him off. Link just grins as he exits the shop.

He makes his way up the mountain to Purah and Symin’s, making a stop at the farm to pet the cows and help the owner with a broken fence post in trade for some milk. It was about noon now, and he wasn’t expecting to take as long to get to the Tech Lab, but the fence was absolutely destroyed. The farmer didn’t know what caused it, but it certainly wasn’t a cow…

The light on the Hateno valley is warm and inviting. It will be the harvest soon. Link had missed his days here. Early on after he woke up, he spent weeks at a time in this little village. Mostly because he was still too poor to afford sleeping anywhere other than his home. It was a safe home base for him when he was freeing the divine beasts. It wasn’t until he had laid his friends' spirits to rest that he became the wild child of the forest he was now. The last year or so he stopped spending more than a few days anywhere, it was the anxiety of the upcoming battle he kept avoiding that caused him to become such a nomad. He learned that it was always free to sleep in trees.

He gets to the lab, and before he can even open the door, Purah is swinging the door open. “Linky! You’re alive!” She cheers, looking up at him.

”I am,” Link replies with a smile, “and Zelda is, too.”

Purah smiles wide, her eyes becoming fiery, “Incredible. Is she okay!” She opens the door for Link, he enters the messy-as-usual lab, setting his sack of goodies down on the table.

“I don’t know…” Link shakes his head, “She’s very tired all the time, and she passed out quite unexpectedly last night.” He sighs. “I’m actually rather worried about her.” He admits. “It took me a long time to wake her up after she passed out, too. Longer than it should have.” Purah walks over to the table before climbing on top of it to Link’s eye-level.

“But she’s alive! And I’m assuming her body has been preserved, no?”

“It has, she doesn’t look a day over seventeen. But her spirit and her mind has changed, she’s tired.”

“Aren’t we all…” Purah shakes her head, “But no one as much as her.” She shrugs, “I would love to run some tests on you two, it might help me figure out my age issue.”

“More tests? I thought you said you were done with me?” Link groans.

“Nope, now that Zelda is here I want to take a sample of her DNA, too, and see if I can reverse-engineer it to cross with my DNA and get me back to my preferred physical age. I’m sick of this.” She gestures to her child-like state.

“When she’s feeling better I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll say yes, considering her love of science and all.”

“Alright Linky, what are you here for, I know you didn’t come to just talk, you always need something from me.” She teases.

“Alright Purah… don’t be mad.” He says as he reaches into his pouch to pull out a smashed and destroyed sheikah slate: the same one that got him through his quest.

Purah’s face goes white. “You did not just do that to an ancient piece of indestructible tech.” She reaches for it, taking the device in her hand and cringing.

“Well it wasn’t that indestructible, now was it?” Link asks with an awkward laugh.

“How?” Purah asks, traumatized.

“It happened while I fought Ganon, it kind of… exploded, and then he trampled it as a giant hog in Hyrule field.”

“That is…” She chooses her words carefully, “Epic, Linky.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No! But you’re gonna be when you can warp to sheikah hotspots. You’ll just have to go on foot like the rest of us. Speaking of, did you see what happened to the shrine in the ocean?”

“What?” He obviously didn’t.

“It sunk back into the ground, completely gone! Symin watched it happen! I’m curious about that happening to the other sheikah tech…” She gets lost in thought, and Link realizes that they all might disappear just as fast as they were found. “No one is gonna be more heartbroken about this than the Princess.” Purah finishes her thoughts.

“I’m hiding it from her. She can’t take a heart break in this state.” Link groans, sitting down in one of the chairs by the table. “Purah… I need you to send a message to Impa. I would go myself in person and be back by dinner but I can’t because the slate is gone. I know you sheikah have weird ways of communicating through distance, especially you sisters.” Link sighs.

“Oh she’ll beat you if you don’t go in person. You know how she is.”

“Yes. Which is why I am absolutely sick over this. But I can’t leave Zelda, she’s not okay, and I don’t know how long it’s going to be until she is.” He explains. “Impa can be mad at me all she wants, but she deserves to know that we are both alive and safe, and Ganon is not.”

Purah squints, “Fine. But you owe me.”

“As if saving the world wasn’t enough.” Link scoffs playfully.

“Hey! Don’t get cocky, no one likes a cocky hero. Besides, it’s not like you did it on your first try.” Purah jumps down from the table and Link’s entire body seizes. She freezes in her tracks when she realizes she said that out loud. She slowly turns around to see Link tense and unhappy. “Linky… I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“

He says nothing at first, “Is that what you guys say about me?”

“Link, we've always pushed each other's buttons like that.”

“It’s fine.” He sighs, it wasn’t fine. He signs, “I’m leaving. I don’t need anyone else’s shit.” He always signed when his emotions were at risk of betraying his words. He didn’t want to upset someone with his words. Purah isn’t very good at signs, but she gets the gist.

It was rare to see Link genuinely mad, especially at someone he cared about and knows is good. But that was out of line.

“Link…”

“Will you just tell Impa that we’re okay. Both of us. The calamity is gone and we’ll come visit as soon as we get our strength back.” He grabs his belongings and heads out.

“Wait-“ Purah tries to stop him but he leaves too fast. He takes a deep breath when he gets outside, looking out towards the sea. He walks towards the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon, letting the salty sea air blow on his skin. He looks where the shrine that lived in the water once was, and nothing was there but the original mound of island sand it sat on.

Back at home, Zelda is still in bed, and Link frowns when he sees her. He sits on his stool next to her, placing his hand against her forehead again. Her fever hasn’t broken.

“I’m home.” He whispers, and she stirs awake, her green eyes looking up at him. She smiles.

“I had the most wonderful dream.” She sighs. “We were at the beach, you and I, and Impa and Urbosa… and my mother.” Link worries that she dreams about those who have passed, he brushes some of her golden hair out of her face. “We looked at the water and listened to the seagulls. My mother was so beautiful and healthy, not like how she was when I remembered her.”

Zelda was very young when her mother died, and she was quite ill for the years leading up to her passing. Link remembered that, he remembered many of the things Zelda opened up to him about in their final days before The Calamity. “Do you want some water?” Link asks, she nods. He stands up, making his way to the well outside and scooping a bucket of it before coming back in. He finds her sitting up in bed.

“Did you get up all by yourself?” He asks with a smile. She nods, her face still pale and expression lost. She was much worse today. Link scoops some water out with a cup, and hands it to her. She shakily holds it in both hands, bringing the wooden mug up to her lips and sipping lightly. Link sits beside her this time, but he feels petrified.

In the last two days they've already crossed so many boundaries. He feels as though he has to be the stoic Knight from before, never looking at her for too long, not speaking unless spoken to, and especially not touching without explicit permission. That was a whole lifetime ago, however, and he’s barely the same person he was when those were the rules.

But even so, he can’t help but follow those roles that he keeps breaking. He shouldn’t see her in such a state: shirt too loose, eyes droopy, sighs so gentle and alluring it could tame a lynel.

He knows no one is watching them, no one is there to judge them, but he cannot bring himself to hold her hand as she shakes, even though he desperately wants to. Placing his hand on her head to check for temperature and burns in her hair from her face was already a serious breach of protocol, and yet when he did it, he felt so comfortable, so safe. He felt more like himself.

Maybe what’s holding him back is the knowledge that she didn’t lose her memories. To her, he is supposed to be that obedient servant.

He knows they got very close towards the end. Based on the memories he’s recollected, he knows they broke those rules far more than they should have. But it was always by Zelda’s instigation. She wanted him to place his hand on the small of her back as they walked, she asked him to lace up her goddess dress, she initiated the gentle touches and hugs of despair.

Now, he’s terrified of taking advantage of her in her sickly state, but he wants so badly to lie with her. To finally get some rest of his own, in his own bed, holding the girl he worked so tirelessly to rescue.

He wishes he could rest as a reward.

He reminds himself that her presence, safety and life is reward enough.

And goddess, is that a wonderful reward. Her weight sinking down the bed, her intoxicating smell, their shoulders just barely brushing. She was incredible, completing a feat that no one had ever come close to accomplishing, and here she was, in his home, in his bed, wearing his clothes.

Link's stomach flips, and he immediately forces himself to relax. Realizing how immature his though process was. This was a princess, not a girl in the Gerduo Brothel. He was confused.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks him, pulling him out of his rampant thoughts. He snaps back to reality.

“What?” He turns to see her looking up at him with her shiny eyes. “Oh…” He desperately wants to tell her, tell her that he’s thinking of her and only her. For three years he spent sleepless nights staring at the heavens and thinking about her. How he hungrily searched for every memory just to hear her voice, and how he took her diary out of the castle to read every page, even the ones that were scribbled with doodles and blacked-out poetry. He wanted to tell her that he fell for her the moment she told him to open-his-eyes, and when he finally remembered what she looked like, she was even prettier than what he imagined.

“…Horses.” He says, dumbfounded and foolish. She smiles.

“I’ve always admired how you loved them. You were the best rider in all of the guard, I fully believe it’s because of how gentle you were with them. They trusted you, which made them listen to you.”

The way she spoke was so thoughtful, so intelligent. Link catches himself accidentally looking at her lips, but yanks his eyes away.

“W-What were you thinking about?” He asks.

She looks off, swallowing thickly. Zelda then lifts her hand, holding it palm up, staring at it. Nothing happens.

“My gift isn’t working anymore.” She states. “I tried while you were getting the water, and look, nothing.” Zelda explains. Link looks at her hand, not knowing what he’s supposed to see.

Her hand is so soft, her fingers long and slender, her nails clean and rounded to perfection.

Her wrists are littered with old scars.

Link wants to take her hand. She sets it down in her lap, “I suppose that’s alright. I don’t need them anymore.”

“What was it like?” Link asks. “In that castle.” Zelda shudders. “You don’t have to say.” Link states.

Zelda carefully constructs her words, “Cold. All the time I was cold. I wasn’t conscious usually, but I wasn’t… unconscious either. I know it makes no sense. I was in a sort of trance. Time seemed to move at a rapid pace while also simultaneously standing still.” She looks at him, rotating her body to face him, he mirrors her.

“Did he ever… say anything?” Link asked.

Zelda nodded, “In the beginning he would whisper constantly, but it was an ancient language I didn’t understand. The longer time went on, the more tired he got, but the wiser I became. He spoke less, and I was able to pick up on certain words and phrases. He didn’t expect me to last as long as I did, that’s for certain.”

Link listens intently, “How did you do it, last so long?” He asks.

Zelda’s big, green eyes meet his. She takes his hand with hers.

“Because I knew one day you would wake up.”

—

Read Chapter four here

[zuhuan]

BSD men x sick S/O

Characters: Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara, Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Summary: The reader gets sick and their loved one takes care of them.

Genre: comfort, sickness

COMISSIONS -> open

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Dazai Osamu:

• Dazai is the type in situations like this to use the fact that you're sick to his advantage so he doesn't have to work.

• Even if you tell him that you can handle this on your own and take care of yourself, he won't let you. He enjoys being able to finally take care of his only little one. He will take care of you with love and care.

• He is not afraid that he might catch the cold from you (if that happens, at least he wouldn't have to work). But luckily, your boyfriend has a strong immune system.

• He is a real red flag in this situation. He will do everything you ask him to do. He wraps you in lots of blankets from the cold, makes you a hot tea and you go to bed together to watch movies. He is a bit skeptical about medicines, he doesn't want any side effects to occur, so he carefully reads all the information. When he notices that you are tired or have a headache because of your fever, he immediately stops everything and takes you to sleep (even if you don't want to).

• He himself lies down in your shared bed and wraps his arms around you, holding you close and you go on an adventure together into the world of dreams. Because of the warmth of its body, you don't feel cold and it even provides you with comfort.

• He doesn't want you to do anything strenuous until you're completely fine, he won't rush your recovery from the cold. But as soon as you get well and return to everyday life with full strength, the night walks together will start again.

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Fyodor Dostoevsky:

• Oh God, Fyodor hates being sick because his immune system is weak and he hates it even more when you catch a cold. Since he has anemia it can make him constantly dizzy, constant naenous, it also lowers your immune system so he gets sick faster.

• He will take care of you and support you, but he will keep his distance because he doesn't want to be sick. He will probably call Nikolai or Sigma for help. He will do his best to help you while keeping his distance. He makes hot soup for you (just imagine Fyodor in the kitchen trying to make a simple soup, he can be very cute). He would make sure that you didn't run out of hankies, medicine, tea or anything else you needed, but if it did happen, he would immediately go and buy it all.

• When you are about to sleep or are already sleeping, he would be in the room with you, just to keep you safe and make sure everything is okay. Fyodor feels very uncomfortable and guilty that he cannot fully take care of you due to his illness. Of course, if you were very sick and could not rely on anyone else, he would take care of you himself. He wouldn't care if he got sick, he would do anything for you. But if this can be avoided to prevent a cold, he will take the opportunity.

• He would let you lie on top of him and fall asleep on him. While you sleep on your boyfriend, he would stare at you with admiration and gently caress your face to soothe you. When you have a terrible headache (but he notices this sooner), he hugs you to his chest and kisses your forehead until you fall asleep in his arms.

• All in all, Fyodor is trying to do his best in two ways so that his darling will get better as soon as possible.

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Chuuya Nakahara:

• When you call Chuuya that you have a cold so you stay at home and can't go to work, he gets really scared. He tries to get home to you as soon as possible (he overreacts a little). No matter how much you tell him it's just a cold, he doesn't care. Mori and the entire hospital are on the phone ready to call. Before going home to you, he asks for some advice and ideas from the head of the port mafia so that he can take care of you as best as possible. On the way home, he stops by to buy everything you need for your recovery.

• When Chuuya gets home, he enters your shared apartment, immediately goes up to you and kisses you. Of course, you push him away from you because you don't want him to catch the cold from you and you tell him that when you get better you will kiss him again, but he kisses you even more aggressively. He thoroughly asks you everything about how you feel and things like that. While you and Chuuya were talking, he prepares the medicines and a hot chocolate for you to take before you go to sleep (totally the husband type). He checks every hour whether your fever has increased or not.

• Chuuya loves to baby you and in these situations he will be very protective and you will be the only one for him during this time. He even prepares you a hot bath, with scented candles, roses and a glass of wine for the two of you. While you are bathing, he stands behind the closed door and makes sure that if you ask him for something or if something goes wrong, he is there for you immediately. If you ask if he wants to bathe with you, he will happily join you.

• He tries his best to make you feel comfortable and safe with him.

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Akutagawa Ryunosuke:

• At first, he doesn't really care that you have a cold. But when he sees that you can't even do everyday things because you're so weak, he panics. He doesn't really know how to handle a person with a cold, but he tries. He asks Mori what to do with a sick person, and takes all the advice Mori gives him.

• He would be too helpful and caring for you, he would brush your teeth, wash your hair and even help you take a bath. He is very afraid that he will not be able to give you enough during this time.

• For him, it feels very bad to hear you cough, because if anyone knows how painful it can be, it's him. He would prepare soup for you with his minimal cooking skills (his skills stop at instant noodles), but he would prepare it for you with great love. When you tell him you have a headache, he tries to coerce you in as many ways as possible. He makes a warm bed for the two of you out of blankets and pillows, and there in his arms while he caresses your back and whispers in your ear some sweet things, he tries to distract your mind from the pain. If by chance your fever goes up very quickly, he would first panic and search on the Internet for what to do in such a case (he can hardly read it because he is trembling with the fear of losing his only precious doll).

• Akutagawa always tries to learn as much as possible from current situations, as he wants to keep you completely safe. He tries very hard and loves you terribly even at this time. Forehead kisses, cuddling and random hugs from behind are essential for him.

• I think you would be in good hands with him, despite the fact that things started off a bit difficult with him at the beginning.

You liked it? Check this out! Click

[angelsanarchy]

Fever Dreams: Mike x Y/N One Shot Series PRT 06

Tagging: @icarus-star @chainsawgvtsfvck @romanroyapoligist @liquidsmoothdomme @madamemaximoff06 @drazenka @blacksoul-27 @444rockstargf @kappasbbgirl @luzclarita57 @tempt-ress vixenhatesyou

When Mike comes into the shop he sees Sicky, Leff and Y/n talking around the desk in the middle of the garage.

"You're late." Leff growled.

"If you didn't sleep with your TV on, I might actually get some rest." Mike complained. He didn't know why Leff kept his TV so loud. He never watched anything of substance. He just had it on to drown out the silence of the apartment.

"Aw you didn't get your beauty sleep?" Sicky teased.

"Blow me." Mike rolled his eyes at him.

"Take one for the team, won't you Y/n?" Sicky bumped her shoulder and she laughed.

"Can we focus here? What's the projection for new routes coming up now that you've come off some of that weight?" Y/n clearly had her head in business and Leff shook his head.

"You won't be on any of those drops. Those will go to Mike." Leff dismissed her.

"Leff, you can't just send him in there-" Leff cut her off.

"I can do whatever I want. Sicky has other more important routes and you can't even be on the same block so it goes to Mike. I'm not arguing about this." Leff looked at her sternly and she put her hands up.

"You can have the regular routes, he'll take the new ones and the few over in that neighborhood. Sicky will stick to his. Any problems, call someone who gives a fuck or has bail money." Leff stuck a cigarette in his mouth before going back into the office. Y/n started to put on her jacket and Mike notices the bracelet she's wearing.

"My mom used to make those." Mike pointed out making her stop. She looked at it with a smile and put her wrist out to show him.

"She made it actually." Mike touched her wrist and took a good look at it.

"Yeah? She must have really liked you then." Mike smiled.

"We got along really well. She wanted to get clean for you so badly. I'm sorry it didn't work out." Y/n apologized and Mike nodded his head.

"I'm sure she would be proud I'm now a drug runner." He said sarcastically.

"No but she would be happy to know someone else is watching out for you and that Leff wasn't alone. She didn't care about anyone else on this planet besides you two. Her love for you made me jealous my mom was such a bitch." She chuckled.

"How well did you know her? I mean like really?" Mike asked curiously.

"Pretty well. She loved to talk. She also spoke of you all the time. Even said she would love to set us up someday." She bumped his hip with her own and Mike laughed.

"No shit." He was surprised to hear that but it definitely sounded like his mom. She always worried about dying and leaving him to take care of himself. Told him constantly he needed to stop messing around and settle down with a nice girl and start a family. He was too young to think about things like that but he wouldn't mind having someone to come home to besides Leff.

"Yeah, you're a lot cuter than I expected you to be. I fully expected the shorter haired skater kid she kept a picture of." She teased and Mike blushed.

"I was like 14 in that picture." He explained. Something about that photo made his mom carry it around with her. He had pictures of him that were more current but she always said that was her babyboy at his happiest.

"I honestly thought she lost that photo. She had texted me to see if I could find a copy." Mike remembered the call he had when she told him she didn't want him to send her a selfie. She was adamant it had to be that photo. Y/n reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet to retrieve something and she laughed as she held the picuture out.

"No fucking way! She gave you this?" Mike took the photo and Y/n nodded.

"God that's a bit mortifying." Mike scratched the back of his neck and Y/n smiled sadly.

"She said she would get another one but insisted on me having it. I don't think she ever got around to getting a copy and I didn't want them to lose her wallet when she..." Y/n stopped herself. Mike didn't like talking about what happened to his mom. He knew it was bad. He knew because when he viewed her body it was a nightmare. Leff insisted she be cremated because of how badly she looked from the years of drug use and street life.

"You should keep it. She would want you to have it. Besides, maybe it'll make your boyfriend jealous." Mike said trying to pry into her personal life. Y/n looked at him with a smirk knowing he was ready to change the subject.

"I don't have a boyfriend but if I did, I don't think any boyfriend would be too intimated by a picture of a 14 year old in my wallet...creeped out but not intimidated." Y/n chuckled.

"Yeah? Well then maybe I'll send you one of my cock and you can replace that one." Mike held onto the photo and she snatched it out of his hands playfully.

"Don't send me pictures of your cock unless you can take criticism." She teased. Mike made a mental note.

"Don't tempt me." He added only serving to make her laugh. He loved listening to her laugh. She had such a full body laugh it was intoxicating. All he wanted to do was make her laugh and hear her thoughts on how pretty his cock is.

[iheartchv]

Sunny Day Jack x Reader:

I Never Forgot 2

What if you were one of the few people who remembered vividly about Sunny Day Jack... even after the whole show seemed to have been forgotten?

☀️Rating: Fluffy

🌈 Part 1 | 🌈 Part 3

❤💛💙❤💛💙❤💛💙❤💛💙❤💛💙❤

Rousing from the (fainting?) episode, you groggily recalled what happened. Lets see... You went to a threft store, came home with a VCR tape, and then... the next thing you knew, you woke up laying on the couch. And sitting on the floor next to you was Jack (you remembered him, though) with a worried look on his face. How did he even get here...?

"Hey, are you okay, y/n? You had me worried there for a minute." He gave you a relieved smile.

You blinked in confusion. "You're... still here... It wasn't a dream? Ha, so it wasn't no fever dream!" You then sat up as you exclaimed. "I knew it!"

"What? What is it?" He was still looking concerned about you as he wondered what you were talking about.

"You... The SunnyTime Crew Show... it was all real. I knew I wasn't crazy."

He blinked in confusion, but didn't say anything to upset you. That was the last thing he wanted to do. "Who said you were crazy?"

"People on the internet, those I come in contact with. They kept telling me there was no such thing.. but I knew I couldn't have made all of that part of my childhood up."

"Hm? What's an internet?"

Oh, right. The internet wasn't widely used till the late 90s. You explained what the internet was and how much everything has changed since then. You then started talking to him, catching him up on things. For the entire moment, you felt like you were catching up with a best friend. Your eyes softened as you looked away from him, feelings and memories of Ian coming to mind.

Jack noticed the change in you. "Hey, is everything okay? You look so sad."

You turned to look back at him. "Oh, I'm just... thinking about someone."

"And do they always make you feel that way?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you... want to talk about it?" His dark yet soft eyes looked at you with such care. Your heart sped up with a pleasant feeling as the look he gave you was one you had seen multiple times in the show, one of kindness and caring. "I'm here for you, Sunshine. You know that, right? I care about you, and I only want you to be happy."

"Sunshine? You've never used to say that."

"Well, uhm, it's... a special nickname. And... you're a very special friend to me." A tint of pink colored his cheeks. Then he placed his hand on your shoulder. "If that's alright by you, I mean..."

You didn't mind that nickname. If anyone else called you that, or any other name related to the cute kind, you would've been like a grumpy bear. But because it was Jack, you didn't mind at all. "That's fine by me."

"Great." He smiled brightly, a huge grin on his face. The way he acted would remind you of a puppy. "Oh, by the way... I've got a question that I wanted to ask you."

"Ask away."

"How... how do you know who I am? I didn't introduce myself to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered that you know who I am." He gave a chuckle. "I'm just curious." He folded his arms on the edge of the couch near you and rested his chin on them, seeming to watch you.

"I... just knew." You shrugged. "You've always caught my attention... and, maybe, because I felt kinda connected to you." How could you give a definitive answer when you were just as confused as he was?

"Hm, okay. I'll take your word for it, Sunshine." He smiled at you, and you couldn't help but to smile back. His whole being was infectious, just being around him would make you feel happy and warm inside. "So, what do you wanna do?"

Question was... Where to start?

I think I'll write one more part to this and end this story. Maybe when the full game is released, and with more research on the lore, I will rewrite this story. Enjoy SDJ fandom~☁️🌈☀️

[kakiwrites]

the eventful internship

Genre: fluff??

A shuntarou chishiya x reader

Warning: manga/season 2 spoilers!! This story is tied to chishiya's backstory so please look away

Synopsis: shuntarou chishiya is the most interesting person on your first day of internship. Why was he always smirking? Why did he always hang back and stay far from the others? Why does your heart beat out of your chest when you see him?

a/n: GUESS WHO'S BACK!! I have chishiya fever bcs of that stupid trailer with our lovely boyyyyy!! So here, have this little intern romance fic! Sorry if the pacing/flow is wonky, i’m a bit rusty-

They say the first day is always the hardest.

You've always wanted to be a doctor. It's been your lifelong dream. After how many years of med school, you were finally able to get an internship at a hospital in Tokyo. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. It was your first day. Anything can happen. Your hands were shaking and sweaty as you entered the hospital, excited and anxious to see the place you'll be staying at and meeting your fellow interns.

Surprisingly, things were going smoothly. You introduced yourself to your fellow interns flawlessly. Your resident was nice and showed you the ropes, and your rounds were silent. The patients were understanding and nice. There wasn't really anything noteworthy that day. 

Well, there was someone.

You took notice of a long, blonde-haired man who stood in the back of the room most of the time. Chishiya, the other interns called him. He kept his distance from the group, always wearing some sort of smirk on his face. It was interesting, to say the least. Why was he always smiling like that? Did he think he was better than everyone else? Is he actually better than everyone else?

You wanted to learn more.

So you decided to ask the other interns about him. "oh, chishiya?" one of them asked, subtly gesturing to the blonde male for confirmation. You nodded your head at them. "He stays a step behind everyone, but you'll be surprised he's already answering the resident's questions and giving diagnoses without a hitch. He always has this smirk on his face and," the intern shivered. You assumed the cocky look on chishiya's face flashed in their mind. "I don't know. He's just so intimidating. You should stay away from him,"

You knew you should've listened. They've been with him for longer than you have. but you couldn't shake the growing feeling of wanting to get to know him. You wanted to talk to him, see what he's like with your own eyes. 

That leads you to your current predicament, you and Chishiya standing in the back in silence while you watch the resident perform a couple of tests on a patient.

You wanted to start a conversation with him, maybe a hello and introduce yourself but his dead eyes were fixated on the procedure in front of you as if he didn't notice your presence lingering beside him.

You glanced at him from time to time. Maybe he was just a passionate guy, absorbed in the lecture. Maybe he was just ignoring you, not wanting to deal with the curious, naïve fresh meat or maybe-

"you should keep your eyes on the procedure instead of staring at me, newbie," chishiya said, his brown eyes still fixed on the resident's movements. His tone was just what you expected,  light and mocking. With his hands stuffed in his white coat and his smirk never leaving his face, his whole demeanor gave off a sort of superior vibe. He felt like he was above everyone else. With that confidence, he just might be.

You didn't know if you were more intimidated or interested.

You opened your mouth to apologize only to be interrupted by the louder voice in the front. "so, can anyone tell me the next step of this exam?" the resident asked, their eyes scanning all the other interns who diverted their gazes to avoid being called. Those eyes finally landed on you. Your throat felt dry as you watched the resident open their mouth to call on you. You definitely weren't paying attention. What was the procedure anyway? Can you just make up your answer? Maybe you can answer it with common sense. You quickly try to remember what the procedure was and its previous steps but came up empty. You braced yourself for your first embarrassment of the day.

Before your name could even leave the resident's lips, the tall blonde beside you spoke up, the air growing light as he recited the next few steps in great detail. It was like he was reading it straight from the textbook. He was just repeating everything from the top of his head.

Wow, he really was above everyone else.

You only realized you were staring when Chishiya turned to look at you, his smirk growing wider and his stance growing taller, it was like his ego was growing every second you kept your eyes on him. "am I really that interesting?"

You were taken aback at the question. "wha-"

"You've been staring for quite a while. Can't take your eyes off me?"

You feel your cheeks heat up. He just saved you from humiliation, and you had the audacity to stare at him like he was some kind of painting. You tried to explain yourself, but the words kept getting stuck in your throat. Chishiya laughed at your struggle.

Before you could say something, your group began to head off to a different area for your rounds. Chishiya followed behind them, leaving you in the dust as you tried to regain your thoughts.

What the fuck just happened?

You quickly scrambled to catch up to the group. You glanced at Chishiya once more. He must’ve felt so cool with his antics earlier. You wanted to tell him off. You wanted to to tell him that showing off his knowledge was unnecessary, that you could've handled it, and that his cocky, high attitude is why the other interns are so afraid of him. But you couldn't bring yourself to do that. So you went with the next best thing.  "sorry… for causing you trouble," you apologized, keeping your gaze on the floor. Chishiya didn't bat an eye at your apology, seemingly ignoring you.

"I'm (y/n) by the way," you said, wanting to change the subject. Chishiya only chuckled at your attempt.

"if it'll get you off my tail, I'm chishiya," the blonde said, not even glancing at you. "now, let me tell you something, newbie," he stopped in his tracks. You looked up from the floor, confused. What did he just call you? You stopped to look back at him.

"the name's (y/n)-"

"right, I don't care," he brushed it off, swatting the air carelessly. "why don't you waddle back to the other interns and stuck-ups, listen to the resident, and finally leave me alone, yeah?"

Chishiya took a second to savor your stunned expression before heading off to catch up to the other interns.

The next few weeks went by like a blur as you were swamped with new patients, more paperwork, and more interactions with Chishiya.

Despite his words on your first day, he didn't seem to mind your presence when you chose to keep standing beside him in the back of the group.

After that close call with the resident, you vowed never to embarrass yourself like that again. You kept close attention to what they were discussing and made sure to hit the books every once in a while. You were able to answer a handful of the resident's questions before Chishiya could even show off.

"looks like I have my work cut out for me," Chishiya muttered with that same sing-song tone once again after you beat him to the punch. You turned to glance at him. He was sporting his usual smirk. Only this time, you can see a notable scrunch on his brow, his eye twitching in annoyance.

You would do anything to see that frustrated expression again. 

And so the rivalry began.

To other interns, you and Chishiya had been as close as ever. You would be seen sitting at the same table together, studying, talking to one another in hushed tones, and standing next to one another as you took turns answering the resident. In their eyes, you were the new dynamic duo. If one of you were there, the other wouldn't be too far away.

Everybody wanted to have what you have.

If only they knew what was really happening.

What looked to be innocent study sessions were actually heated quiz bees where you placed a set amount of time on reading as much as you could from the textbook and then rapid-fire questions at one another until the timer ended. Whenever one of you gets the answer wrong, which is rare, the other would gloat hard.

"pfft," chishiya chuckled mockingly at you, watching you struggle to answer his question. "it's such an elementary question, newbie. Here i was thinking we were equals,"  The timer on your phone was close to 0 but your brain doesn't want to recall the answer.

"i'm trying, okay?" you said, frustrated. Your alarm hit 0, the beep irritatingly loud in your ears. You looked up from the table to see chishiya smirking at you, amused by your failure.

"dear (y/n) can't even remember that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?"

"IT WAS ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE OKAY?"

The hushed whispers were actually just the two of you taunting and annoying one another. At first, it was hard not to let chishiya's teasing remarks get on your nerves, but with time, you could start living with it.

"aww, you couldn't even get a word in earlier~" you said, nudging him as you walked to your next patient.

Chishiya could only snarl at you as he silently continued walking, not wanting to give into your teasing.

He retaliated by speeding and leaving you in the hallway, where you proceeded to get lost for the next thirty minutes. 

Finally, What looked to be simple acts of chivalry were actually the two of you fighting tooth and nail to answer the resident first.

"you bitch, I know this. move," you said confidently, shoving chishiya out of the way to be seen over other interns’ shoulders. That method seemed to work as the resident called on you and you recited your answer.

 You were shocked to see the resident shake their head. "ah, but you're missing something, (y/n)," the resident pointed out, looking around for any other hands wanting to answer.

You could feel chishiya's amused stare burning holes in the side of your head as he slowly raised his hand and got called.

With his grating, teasing voice, he answered the question. The resident greeted his answer with a smile and a confirming nod.

You weren't sure why the other interns want to have what you have.

Maybe they wanted someone to annoy them every second of the day. Maybe they want the privilege of getting an academic rival.

Or maybe they want to experience the unintentional touches, the longing gazes, and feel their heartbeat quicken when he gets close.

You dismissed that last thought. That was what you felt. Chishiya would never let himself feel that way, right?

Right?

You didn't want to take any chances. You needed to ride your feelings out before they get worse before chishiya catches on and gets affected.

Before he uses your feelings to his advantage and breaks your heart.

So you did what you thought was best.

You started to distance yourself.

Instead of standing next to chishiya during your rounds, you chose to stand in front of the group. Instead of bugging him like you usually do, you kept silent and avoided his questioning gaze. And Instead of barging into his little bubble during your breaks, You chose to sit at a different table this time, leaving him alone with his textbooks and notes.

It didn't take long for chishiya to catch on.

He didn't know why but he felt empty without your teasing smiles and your soft voice. He felt empty without your nudging and your competitive spirit.

He felt empty without you.

Your plan of avoiding him was short-lived, however when Chishiya pulled you out of the group and into one of the quieter hallways.

Chishiya could only let out a soft, irritated breath. "mind telling me why you stopped bugging me?" he asked. 

"Maybe because I want to stop bugging you?" you answered with common sense. That wasn't the answer Chishiya was looking for.

"that's the thing," Chishiya said, annoyed at your answer. "you always make it a point to bug me one way or another. You stand next to me in the back every day even though I specifically told you not to. You sit at my table and insist we study together when I can study just fine on my own. You always start bickering in my ear, and it just annoys me to no end-"

"If you're annoyed, why are you looking for answers? I'm already leaving you alone; isn't that enough?"

"I want to know why. Why did you suddenly stop? Why now?"

You crossed your arms over your chest. Should you tell him the true reason why you were distancing yourself from him? how your heartbeat begins to quicken every time he gets near? How your breath hitches every time he smirks at you?

Should you tell chishiya that you fell for him?

You finally looked at the blonde man in front of youu, looking into his expectant brown eyes. You willed yourself to open your mouth, to spill your thoughts, your symptoms, your feelings. You willed yourself to tell the truth.

 only to be interrupted by the loud crackle of fireworks and the bright hospital lights suddenly turning off.

CLIFFHANGER WOOP WOOP- sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed. I've been working on this piece for a while and I am honestly running out of writing juice- sorry if this isn't on par with my normal writing- I'm still a bit rusty! Hope you guys enjoyed!!

General taglist (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below): @tokyoghoose @macaronnv @reogou @midnightangelfox @wumboho @seiijixcia @tessabrown101

[strawbs-screaming]

The boxers during halloween

(sees christmas decorations being put up) HALLOWEEN. HALLOWEEN!!! HALLOWEEN!!!

Glass Joe

- has a vampire costume and is giving out candy himself since "hes too old for all of this"

- buys those big family size packages of candy to give out, he likes them because he can snack on candy when halloween ends

- purposefully calls obvious costumes dumb stuff to get reactions out of people

- "oh yeah did you dress up as my moms curtains??"

- "IM A GHOST AND YOU ARE FRENCH!!"

- drinks a glass of tomato juice with his costume for extra realism

Von Kaiser

- He dressed up as the frankensteins monster, only for his students to dress up as him

- He gives out raisins and toothbrushes for halloween along with fruit (NOOO!!)

- does scary roaring sounds to scare people, only to get laughed at, thats what you get for giving out healthy food during halloween

- tries telling scary stories and gives up halfway through

Disco Kid

- dressed up as a fully functional disco ball (functional almost autocorrected to father LMAOO)

- goes out trick or treating himself but gets bored

- watching bad quality horror movies with Mac to laugh at them

- helps the kaisers students toilet paper his house for fun

- carving pumpkins with the others

King Hippo

- dressed up as a Hippo (how creative of you)

- does trick or treating with Disco kid, after disco got bored he went all out on his own and got a lot of candy

- He ate the pumpkin he was supposed to carve, no remains left, also totally unrelated: has anyone seen Joe's pumpkin carving knife?? That he was supposed to carve pumpkins with??

- his dentist will not be happy

Piston Hondo

- dressed up in sailor moon cosplay, rocking it as he should

- is the one giving out candy because imagine if a famous boxer dressed up as sailor moon came to your house for candy,seems like a fever dream

- helping Kaiser un-tp his house

- attempting to call bloody mary for the 10th time, She probably blocked your number already leave her before she gets a restraining order please

- sad that he has no one to match with

Bear Hugger

- dressed up as the lorax, matching with someone else as the greedler (im not spoiling it shut up) the squirrel is joining them dressed up as those bear things in the movie

- giving out entire bottles of maple syrup during halloween, people dont exactly hate it but its kind of a jumpscare seeing someone dressed up as a maple tree hand you maple syrup

- tried to sit on a pumpkin, only to break it instantly

- people keep assuming he dressed up as a Cheeto puff

Great Tiger

- dressed up as a fairy princess, yes hes a fairy, yes hes a princess and no he will not share his magic with you, jealous ass

- using his flying to his advantage by flying around with fairy wings on

- throwing "fairy dust" (glitter) around, people keep finding glitter in their food, costumes, socks and basically everywhere

Don Flamenco

- who'd you think was matching bear hugger? hes dressed up as the greedler and rocking it, how bad can he be anyways?

- loses 10 years from his life eveytime someone doesnt notice the refs he makes to the movie

- if anyone actually gets the ref he'll break out into song like hes in a musical (a punch out musical would go hard actually)

Aran Ryan

- a demon witch, matching with great tiger and also throwing "evil dust" (Hot pepper flakes) around, aran i think youre just assaulting people

- robbed Kaiser from his actual candy he hid away

- evil cackling as he attempts to fly on his broomstick, only to fall on his ass

- chasing Joe with the carving knife

Soda Popinski

- a fridge, he deadass just wore a entire fridge with soda in it

- pulling out random stuff from the fridge and handing out to people, Water? Drink up, tomatos? Here you go!!

- keeps getting stared at but in a good way

Bald Bull

- hes just in a bull onesie because he lost a bet, embarrased but he finds it comfy secretly, fell asleep in it at some point

- people keep calling him a cow and its driving him crazy

- "moo"

- "IM A BULL GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU ALL BLIND ASS BITCHES"

- watching movies and falling asleep

- carved a pumpkin with Joe and ended up laughing at it with him for 10 minutes

Super Macho Man

- himself, hes not giving out any free shout outs today

- fuck you super macho man

- carved himself into a pumpkin

- He cant keep getting away with this

Mr Sandman

- dressed up as a mummy since he didnt have enough time to think about it

- hes the only one who can actually scare people with and without his costume

- tried to put a pumpkin on his head, sad because it didnt fit

Extra

- kaisers students did the trenchcoat gag, dressef up as him and tried to buy a car with 10 dollars and a dance performance

- mrs bear dressed up as a princess and did her make up, looks stunning

- carmen dressed up as a flamingo

- soda has to pay back that fridge now

[tangerinequeen19]

Thank you @noraincsl for tagging me in this Louis-centric ask game!

when did you become a louie?

Sometime in 2021…I only vaguely knew who he was when I clicked on a random suggested youtube video ab Larry (what a fever dream), which then led to a life-altering rabbithole of Louis videos and thereby oh-so-casually shifted the space/time continuum.

your earliest fandom memory?

Let’s see, I remember being so excited ab listening to all of his solo stuff and feeling very hit-over-the-head by both Two of Us and Only the Brave. I watched lives for the ltwt22 opening show in Dallas, never having experienced fandom culture before or that type of guerilla livestreaming 😂 and I was SO EMOTIONAL AND SWEATING vicariously for him I was so nervous lol and eventually it was such a delight to be able to scream ab it on tumblr even though I didn't know many of you lovely ppl yet.

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

Walls: Defenceless, Too Young, Always You

FITF: All This Time, HOTH, Paradise

[making the executive decision to change one song to three btw]

your favourite music video?

Two of Us

favourite gig?

CUYAHOGA FALLS 2023, A DAY THAT SHALL LIVE IN INFAMY!!! THE SCREAMS I SCRUMPT! THE STEAM MY KEYBOARD STUMPT!

favourite louis hair?

I love his variety--what an icon when you look back at the eras, truly. Usually my fav style is however he currently has it, although I do tend to love a lil oomphy floofy to it.

favourite louis interview?

The ladbible ones or any ones where he can just offer commentary/reactions are gold bc he is so naturally hilarious and engaging.

suit louis or tank top louis?

Tank top! (*echoes in the distance* tank top, tank top...) Now if the blessed day shall come that we get a mesh tank top you will either never hear from me again or you will never hear me talk ab anything else.

favourite louis tattoo?

The card-suits bracelet

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

His expressive eyes in all their glory as well as the snuffleupagus lashes.

Tagging ANYONE WHO SEES THIS & WANTS TO DO IT—tag me as asking you if you do it! Also @getawayheaven @goldcrumble @statementlou @weareonejazzhand @moon-sun-thyme @alloutforking @piccolotiranno @shinylights @himynameiszayn @throughtherest @keepmyeyesonthehorizon @crownkinglouis @thelastattempt @ahurricanebehindthedoor @apdlpz @fortheloveof-louis @buttercuphoney91 if you’d like to 😊

[nihyunluvskookie]

You shouldn’t have been here

 Seungcheol one shot

Pairing: Seungcheol x Fem reader

Genre: angst

Word count: 4.6K

Warnings: mention of guns, bullets, firing, losing of parents at a young age, implied death

Author’s Note: Firstly, Merry Christmas!! and here's a fic, I've been wanting to write, I finally got some time to write and completed it, this is definitely not the ideal fic to post on Christmas TT but here it is, and ofc it's mafia fic. Hope you like this~

Happy reading ~

“I’ll be back tomorrow, I love you” and she kissed him. He looked happy and so was she, “I’ll wait for you, too bad I don’t have a night shift tonight and you’re leaving. Bed would be cold without you” Seungcheol was caging her and he didn’t want her to leave. There was a hidden sadness in her face, but she looked at him with eyes full of love. “I’ll be back tomorrow Cheol, I promise I’ll be back tomorrow morning before you leave for work” and she smiled at him.

“text me or call me once you reach, okay?” he was always protective of her, but why wouldn’t he be, after all she was his wife. “I will now get some sleep” She kissed him and left.

She was driving her car and she was thinking about Seungcheol, she looked at the time, it was 08:08 pm exactly, Seungcheol’s birthday date. There was a faint smile on her face but she focused on the road.

“Would you like an upgradation from my girlfriend to my wife?” the way Seungcheol was looking at her while giving the bouquet, no words could describe how he was feeling. She was overwhelmed, but she wanted to be herself and be with him. Seungcheol was her home, her home when there was no one for her.

The moment Seungcheol knelt down, and showed her the ring, “I want you to be my wife, I want to spend my whole life with you, will you marry me?” marriage for Sihyun was something she always dreamed of but marrying the person she loves the most and actually wants to spend her whole life was something she just dreamt of or maybe something like a fever dream but happening infront of her, she was unable to say a single word, tears were threatening to fall, “Ye-Yes” it was her broken voice, Seungcheol heard her voice, and smiled at her, once he took her hand and made her wear the ring, he got up and cupped her face. “I love you so much Sihyun, I love you so much, I can’t live without you”

“I love you too Seungcheol” and he kissed her softly; he would always kiss her softly, for him, she is someone who deserves all the happiness and everything and of course him.

He suddenly lifted her up and twirled her around, “I am so happy Sihyun” he could only hear her laughs and for her, he was her whole world.

She parked the car, and took out her bag and went towards the apartment. Once she was inside, she went towards the lift and pressed the top floor button, she looked at her watch, and in a fraction of a second she was at the top floor.

She went towards the door and pressed the doorbell. “You’re here” Sihyun smiled at Hanuel, “Come inside”

Sihyun stepped inside, and took off her heels then went straight towards the living room. “Want to eat something?” Sihyun shook her head, she was in a conflict in her mind, and in deep thoughts about Seungcheol, “No, I already had dinner with Seungcheol”

“I see, how is he doing?”

“He is good.” Haneul sat facing her, “Is something bothering you?”

Sihyun wasn’t a big opener about her problems, the only person she trusted a lot was Seungcheol, beside that sharing her problems with anyone else felt like a burden to her at times but then she could always use the company of Hanuel and Seungmin. “I don’t know” and she sighed, Hanuel looked at her, Sihyun was always lost in deep thoughts nowadays, it’s been months but she wasn’t opening up, maybe Seungmin knew about it.

“Sihyun if you don’t say what’s the matt-”

“I think Seungcheol was doubting me somewhere but why would he?”

“He’s doubting you?” Sihyun nodded, “Did he drop any hints?” Sihyun nodded. “And these things are making me doubt him, I wonder what is he doing and what not, I never felt like this all these eight years, everything was going smoothly but why now? when everything is going so smoothly. Seungcheol was that person in my life, who taught me how to trust but now? if one single thing happens and falls apart, it’s all over.”

“Don’t worry too much, he won’t know and you’ve a reason Sihyun. You’re not hurting him or something, it’s you. You love him, you can never wish for his downfall.”

“But Hanuel if what I am thinking is true then why would he lie to me, I need to know him, his intentions, I can’t take any betrayal after all these years I spent with him”

“You’re overthinking Sihyun, Seungcheol is not that kind of guy, who would lie to you for so long.”

“But Seungmin? He can never be wrong, and he always tells me the things he found out, if what me and Seungmin are thinking are true then I would be making myself a fool infront of my whole team and family.”

“Don’t overthink too much, Sihyun. Be the way you are.” Sihyun sighed and looked at the time, today it took her almost two hours to come here. “I need to change and then we will leave. Inform Seungmin to come here, and I will go in his car, I can’t risk taking my car this time not after Seungcheol’s car passed through the same place and we were almost about to cross eachother’s path that night”

“Okay” saying that Sihyun took her bag and went to Hanuel’s bedroom to change her clothes.

Once she was inside, she started changing her clothes, a black dress, a black leather jacket, black boots, and a small pendent. She did her makeup lightly and looked at the mirror. “Sihyun, what are you doing?” “This is all for the people who left you alone”

The look was giving her an intimidating vibe; which was enough to let people know this is how a leader should behave. Once she was done with her hair, tying it up in a low ponytail, she came out of the room only to see Seungmin sitting on the couch.

“Are you ready for tonight?” Seungmin asked and she nodded, “Always have to be ready. Is everyone ready?” he nodded, “Everything’s ready and everyone is on their way. And everything is inside my car.”

“Perfect. We need to get this either way.”

“Don’t worry, everything will go your way, and I don’t think they will find us today as well, we’ve been eluding them till now without any problem and today’s a big day for us.”

“Seungmin, we can’t overlook the fact that Seungcheol’s car passed through the same place that night, and last time, it was barely three minutes difference and I cannot risk it again.”

“But you said he is staying home, right?” Seungmin looked serious, Seungcheol was one reason everyone was stressed, “Yes”

“So, don’t worry Sihyun, nothing will go wrong and it’s our day today.” Sihyun was stressed but she couldn’t show it infront of Haneul. She smiled at her, “Yes, let’s get going. We need to reach by midnight and since it will take time, let’s go now.”

They were ready and went down to the basement, Sihyun got inside Seungmin’s car and Hanuel took hers. “Can I drive Seungmin?”

“Do you want to blow off some steam tonight?” Sihyun smiled, Seungmin being her right-handed man, always knew, how driving was her way to release stress and it’s rare for them to go hit the racing circuit after she got married, most of the time spending time with Seungcheol would take away her stress or at times it would be Seungcheol who would make love and Sihyun could never deny him because he always gave her the best cuddles after that and the sleep would be the best one.

“Once we are done with the deal, I’ll let you drive” and Seungmin started the car, “since you’re going back to your husband’s arms tomorrow morning. I know you, can’t even stay away from him Sihyun; you love him so much and it shows it on your face.”

“But sometimes I feel this is wrong, carrying out the whole gang and then going back to his arms as if nothing happened. Sometimes I feel like I will pay the price for being the leader and being happy.”

“You’re doing this for your people Sihyun, never blame yourself and you have every right to be happy. You chose Seungcheol because you love him but you didn’t abandon us so doesn’t matter. You are happy.”

“You know, yesterday we went to meet Jeonghan and his wife, and when I saw Seungcheol holding their little angel in his arms, I realized how badly I want Seungcheol to be the father of our child.” Seungmin stopped the car in the traffic and looked at Sihyun, Sihyun looked like she was somewhere in her own world. The love for Seungcheol was something that always made her weak whenever it came to work, her work was dangerous, and her life was dangerous but living with Seungcheol she was always afraid, of leaving him and what’s coming for her next. She can’t risk everything but she is risking everything because of him after all.

They entered their house and Seungcheol locked the door, “Seungcheol” Sihyun’s voice was barely audible, she was about to go upstairs to their bedroom but she stopped but still didn’t face Seungcheol, she was hesitating, she never felt like this. Till date she always felt having kids is something she can never think about, being a mother and the thoughts of parenting always haunted her and specially after thinking how she saw her family getting killed infront of her eyes, when she was barely nine years. She was reminded of what is her work and whatever is she going to say had the power to flip her whole world upside down. Because one mistake from her side and it’s all over.

She felt Seungcheol’s steps approaching her, soon he wrapped his arms around her waist, “What happened my love?” Sihyun was deep in her thoughts, how would Seungcheol react and what if the past that happened with her repeats? Seungcheol knew she lost her family when she was nine years old but he doesn’t know why. Seungcheol knew her but at the same time he didn’t. “Sihyun” his voice was low, and he rested his head on her head, Sihyun turned around to look at him, “Cheol”

“Yes my love?” and that was it. ‘my love’

“A thought crossed my mind today when you were holding Jeonghan and Luna’s lil angel Mirae, I wondered how would you look holding a lil angel who looked like you, your eyes, your dimples, your smile” a smile spread on Sihyun’s face, “Even I want our little angel to look like you.” Sihyun’s eyes widened in the realization of what he had said, “What do you-” Before she could say anything, he kissed her. Seungcheol always wanted Sihyun’s approval in this matter, he always dreamt of holding their baby that’s why he waited till Sihyun said it. He had faith in Sihyun she would be a good mother and they would make nice parents.

“Looks like my baby is finally ready to take the next step” he looked at her and said, Sihyun was unable to say anything, “I was waiting for you to say” Sihyun realized how much Seungcheol respected her. “I love you so much” and she kissed him, and pulled herself back. Seungcheol held Sihyun shoulder and his other hand was holding her cheeks; he leaned closer and Sihyun could see what he was going to do next. He kissed her and her hands traveled from his shoulder to his neck, Seungcheol pulled her closer and she parted, “I love you too” and kissed her again. Seungcheol parted after they were out of breath and he picked her up in his arms “Let’s make you feel how much I love you” Sihyun smiled at him and buried her head in his embrace

“What did he say?” She looked at Seungmin, who was looking at her, “Even I want our little angel to look like you”

“Isn’t that good?” Seungmin’s voice was low, “You know what happened with my family and why, I am scared Seungmin, I am scared of what’s coming, and having a baby, I can, I want to with Seungcheol, I want to have our own small little family but the fear is still there. And I don’t want my baby anywhere near my work. I don’t want my baby to find out who I am which is impossible Seungmin and then there are chances of everyone getting targeted.” Sihyun sighed

“Don’t stress too much about it Sihyun” Sihyun smiled at Seungmin.

Soon, they reached and Seungmin parked the car. “Everything’s at the back seat” Sihyun nodded and went to check everything at the back seat. “Are the guns loaded?” Seungmin nodded, Sihyun took her gun and kept it with her. “Let’s try not to kill anyone tonight. I don’t want anyone interrupting our deal” Seungmin nodded and they saw Hanuel’s car parking. Hanuel came out of her car with her gun in her hand. Seungmin was holding a briefcase and they all went inside the warehouse.

“Everyone’s ready with everything?” the whole gang was there and they nodded, “Yes ma’am” There was the seat of Sihyun, she was walking gracefully with Seungmin, her right-handed man. Hanuel stepped back and stayed as the incharge of everyone. “Everyone’s safety should be the priority along with our deal, okay?”

“Yes ma’am”

“When are they coming Hanuel?” Sihyun took a seat and asked her, “They are almost here.”

“Good” Once they are in their work mood, there’s no friendship, it’s work relationship. That’s how Sihyun taught herself to handle the whole mafia gangs, she was the leader. Her identity was hidden, she was living a normal life without exposing her identity of mafia leader. She was the leader of Mafia and she handled everything with Seungmin.

“They’re here.” Hanuel said.

Sihyun crossed her legs and nodded, “Let the boss in and everyone stay outside. You too Hanuel.”

“But-” Hanuel was surprised because Sihyun never did this, “I said, OUT EVERYONE.”

“Okay ma’am” Seungmin was with Sihyun, “What’s wrong?”

“I want this deal to be just between us, no interruption Seungmin, I do not want anyone else inside and we can’t let our guards down, no matter what”

Once everyone was outside, it was just Sihyun and Seungmin; the other gang leader entered the warehouse, he was with his man. “Looks like you wanted only me tonight?” Sihyun wasn’t liking the way this man was talking to her, being the leader and a woman she knew, how she could be treated by other leaders but Seungmin was always there by her side, and never let these men get her. Last time a man talked down with Sihyun, Seungmin lost his clam but Sihyun killed him, that’s when there was almost a war because Sihyun killed an underboss.

“Did you forget how I killed him and do you want to be the next guy, who wants to get killed by my precious gun?” there was a smirk on her face.

The guy had his hands up, “Okay, I surrender, I am here for money and you’re here for your weapons, once the deal is done, it’s over”

“Good, come and take a seat.” Sihyun smiled. The man came and took a seat opposite to her, it was the leader of Kwon gang. One of the top gangs and also a ruthless one.

Once they showed each other, whatever they need, Sihyun checked the weapons and Seungmin showed the money. “Looks like this weapon deal is done” the guy had a smirk, and Sihyun smiled, “Yes” she took a pause and leaned towards him, “But always remember not to mess up with my people, I won’t hesitate to kill you and your members next time I see them killing any of my man or trying to hack our systems” Sihyun looked intensely at him, “Okay?”

“Well, you can’t order around like that Kim Sihyun” she had a smirk, “Of course I can, because all of my men are outside, and your people are already taken down. That’s what you pay for trying to hack our system and killing two of my men”

“Are you out of your mind?” she smiled at him, “I wish I was, but that’s how you handle double-faced people. Now get up and walk away, and remember not to mess up with me” he got up and at the same time, Sihyun and Seungmin heard Hanuel’s voice in their in-ear “Seungcheol and a team is almost here, get out of this place with Sihyun. RIGHT NOW.”

“Leave, they are here.” By the time, Sihyun’s voice was heard, everything turned upside down in a second, “Do not wait for me, leave. LEAVE HANUEL, TAKE EVERYONE AWAY I WANT EVERYONE TO BE SAFE.” Sihyun threw her in-ear and looked at Seungmin, “You take everything and leave first”

“No”

“I said, LEAVE.”

“I REFUSE KIM SIHYUN”

“THIS IS AN ORDER” By the time she could say one more word, she heard the door open and she pushed Seungmin, “If you ever cared about me, then leave” and that was it, Seungmin had no choice, and Sihyun didn’t know what was she going to do?

Surrender to Seungcheol? When she doesn’t even know why is he here?

To prove herself right that Seungcheol was lying to her and is an undercover agent?

That Seungcheol was the following her?

“Hands up” and then she heard her husband’s voice. And Seungmin couldn’t leave because of his loyalty, no matter how much Sihyun pushed him away. She could recognize his footsteps, and they were getting closer.

She saw him holding a gun and she was standing there face to face with him. Never in her nightmare, she was prepared for a day like this, standing face to face with Seungcheol and him pointing a gun towards her.

“What are you doing here? You shouldn’t have been here.” He screamed, the anger was visible on his face, he was pointing his gun toward her and in a second, everyone was pointing a gun towards her, “Lower your guns, not a single bullet should be fired and no one should hurt her or I will shoot you myself” his voice was stern, Sihyun rarely saw Seungcheol being pissed but today was something else, it was a blow-off for both of them. No one dared to speak a single word, “But sir-”

“STAND DOWN I SAID” Seungcheol’s voice almost made her flinch, but her expression stayed the same.

“So? Sihyun, how long have you been lying to me about everything?” he asked, his voice was almost unrecognizable to himself, she couldn’t answer and it was very evident that Seungcheol was pissed. She didn’t have any answer, “You also lied to me Seungcheol” and then she looked at him, directly in his eyes. No one had any answer, both were doing their own job, and falling in love was something that was never in their plan and how worse it could be that, the case Seungcheol was assigned and Sihyun was the mastermind and leader of everything. It was her job to protect her team and familia but it was his job to take her down, how could the universe be so cruel?

The pain and hurt were visible in his eyes, he wanted to prove himself wrong tonight, it’s been more than years since Seungcheol was assigned this thing, and he was an undercover agent. He was feeling cheated on his trust, he almost had a fight with his vice-team leader about Sihyun being the leader and he said he would prove them wrong tonight that’s why he lied to Sihyun about going out.

But here he is, standing face to face gun pointed towards his own wife, who was a ruthless gang leader. How could he do this to his own wife?

“You shouldn’t have been here SIHYUN” his screams weren’t helping him at all. There was just silence, no one spoke a single word.

“You shouldn’t have been here not after all this” Seungcheol’s mind wasn't working at all, looking at his wife as the person who was behind all this, she was the prime suspect but he was in denial and now that she is standing infront of him, he was more than shocked and angry.

“Seungcheol, remember I love you but for once in my life, I am going to choose my job” and she took out her loaded gun and pointed at him. Sihyun had no choice. “Let him leave and I will be the one here” Seungcheol, never said no to his wife, for him she was always the priority but he couldn’t even let his emotions take over him right now, he was on his duty. “If I let him go then what are you going to do Sihyun?” if her eyes could tell him how hurt she was when she heard her own name, she wasn’t used to this Seungcheol. “I am the one, you need.” She took a pause and looked at Seungmin, “Let him go.”

“Bring him” Another officer went to bring Seungmin, he was holding Seungmin. “Leave him” Seungcheol agreed and Seungmin had to walk away from the warehouse, Seungcheol knew what he was doing, he was trying to make Sihyun vulnerable and he had his team all over this place, once Seungmin stepped out of this warehouse, he is going to be caught by the officers and he would be taken away from this place.

“Now, put that gun down. You cannot leave this place” she shook her head, “I won’t and mind it, by the time you take me down, everyone would be gone, I saved my members already.” Sihyun’s eyes never looked away from Seungcheol’s eyes, there was a tension only they knew. “I gave you my heart already and there’s nothing left to give you anymore. My love, my heart and my whole life, it’s all yours. The day I realised I was in love, I knew what I was signing up for, the love the betrayal. I kept myself prepared for the day, maybe someone will ask me to surrender for being the leader but, never in my wildest nightmare I imagined you, that you would be here as the officer and telling me to put my gun down?”

“Why would you lie about yourself Seungcheol?” she was hurt, he knew she was hurt. It was his mission, he couldn’t even share this even after getting married, he wanted this mission to be over so that he could tell Sihyun and be happy. Seungcheol was feeling betrayed but on the other hand Sihyun was also feeling betrayed, both were on their duty and the crime of being in love and married to eachother was enough to tear them apart. “I love you Seungcheol and I can give up on my life for you but I can’t betray my family and knowing how they weren’t even my blood but someone I could call my family. And after knowing how much me and my people had to go through, I can’t step back. Do you want to know who made me like this?” Sihyun’s eyes were speaking, Sihyun never opened up totally with her past and Seungcheol was always waiting for her to say it without forcing her. “You and your organization” she had a tight smile “They didn’t take a single step when our family was killed. My own family died infront of my eyes, I never told you, how but my family was killed infront of my eyes when I was just nine years. And the people you’re working with, you call them justice?” she let out a smirk, remembering how she still gets the nightmare of her family getting killed infront of her, it was another reason why she afraid to be with Seungcheol. “It turned a blind eye and that was it.”

“I was alone until I found you.” all the memories of Seungcheol felt like a flashback to her.

“Seungcheol” she took a deep breath, she wanted to be calm and say everything that’s inside her but her heart was beating like crazy because she was nervous. “Your smile heals me. You make me happy and I admire you a lot. You helped me to find a home, a home I can always return back to. I want to give you all the love, more than you deserve. I call you, ‘My Seungcheol’ because you are everything to me. Love is not just a word I can use to describe you, you are a feeling, an emotion for me, you always give me a heart-warming feeling that no one else can ever give to me. You are my own Seungcheol. I will never keep a secret from you and will stay with you in all your happiness and sadness. I am ready to share my life with you and take one more step towards us. I love you too”

Once the exchange of rings was over, the priest then asked, “Do you Choi Seungcheol take Kim Sihyun, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to share your life openly, standing with her in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease to cherish and love forever more?” her eyes were fixed on Seungcheol, and she heard “I Do” it felt like her whole world stopped for him. He smiled at her, his dimples. Another reason she never wanted to let go of him.

The priest turned to Sihyun, “Do you Kim Sihyun take Choi Seungcheol, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to share your life openly, standing with her in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease to cherish and love forever more?” She took a deep breath and replied, “I do”

“You may now kiss your Bride”

The kiss was one overwhelming one and it had so many emotions in them. She couldn’t believe she made this decision, this was the second decision she made for herself. She was happy, she could feel the happiness, just for today she wanted to be the girl she wanted to be, forgetting about her duties as a leader. She wanted to be just ‘Seungcheol’s Wife’

“Why would you do this Sihyun? Why? Was everything a lie?” Seungcheol couldn’t process anything, everything Sihyun told him yesterday about have a little one and being a happy family was coming back to him as a flashback.

“You’re my happiness and my home but seems like at the end of the day you would also leave me. You knew everything about me Seungcheol except one fact, I am the leader you’ve been looking for since years, even before we met, if only I knew this is how it was going to end then I wouldn’t have met you” by this time, Sihyun was tearing up, it reminded of all the best memories Seungcheol gave her. How her life was beautiful after meeting him, “I love you but I hate your organization and now that I know you’re the one who was handling my case, I can’t even hate you. It all fell down.”

“I always had a motto, and that was to ‘die with dignity’” and with that the grip around her gun got tighter, “Thankyou Seungcheol for all these amazing seven years, I love you” and she fired.

The moment the bullet was fired, Seungcheol moved from his place but his bullet hit her right there and against his will he realized he shot her.

“Sihyun” was the last thing she heard before falling into the floor.

And the very next day, it was Seungcheol who received the award standing infront of the whole crowd, he was holding the trophy. He gave his speech and only he knew how much it was hurting. Only he knew, how he saw his wife dying, the tears that were threatening to fall, didn’t deserve to fall. It was the pain of losing his wife, his support system, his love, and the person he trusted the most, but then what is even trust?

He was the one who shot his wife and here he is being awarded for that.

All the dreams died down the moment she took her last breath infront of him saying she still loved him even after this.