#I realize Emily does not have a full name

[unhingedlesbear]

Becky wants to eat Emily so bad

Sometimes I'll have to move Becky's enclosure next to Emily's and every time without fail, I come back later to see Becky staring directly at Em and it's like the only time she moves from the top of the enclosure

Gotta love when my pets have beef 👍

[fatecantstopme]

Never Do That Again

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: The team is in a tiny town, a town so small that there is only one tiny hotel. What happens when you end up having to share a small room with your boss for a week straight?

Warnings: Angst. Some fluffy fluff. Mentions of death. Suicide. SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V). Use of pet names. Swearing.

"Dear God, I'm exhausted," you mumbled as you walked into the little hotel.

"I'm just looking forward to a hot shower," Morgan said from behind you.

"So are we. You smell terrible," Emily teased.

"Shut up."

You all chuckled as you reached the front desk.

"Good evening," the woman at the desk said. "How can I help you?"

"Hi there," you said with a smile as you were the first person to reach the desk. "We're in need of a few rooms."

"Okay, dear. We have one single and three doubles available."

Before anyone else could say anything, Rossi stepped forward and said, "I'll take the single."

The lady handed him the key and he waved to you all as he headed towards the elevator.

"Are you kidding me?" you grumbled.

"Reid and I will bunk together," Morgan said, taking another key from the desk.

You were about to ask JJ to room with you, but she snatched up a key and said, "Emily and I will take a room."

You gave her a look that she pretended not to see.

Hotch sighed heavily and reached for the last key. "I guess that means it's you and me, (Y/L/N)."

You deepened the glare on your face as you looked at JJ. She smiled at you knowingly and you felt the strong urge to smack her. Instead, you simply said, "Guess so, boss."

Everyone moved towards the elevators as a group, but you grabbed JJ's arm and pulled her back to you. "You did that on purpose," you hissed.

"Of course I did."

"J--what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Now's your chance, (Y/N/N). Time to find out if he wants you as badly as I think he does."

"Or I'm just horny and sleep-deprived for however long we're stuck here," you grumbled.

"I doubt it."

She practically dragged you into the elevator with her and you both fell silent. JJ was the only person you'd ever admitted your feelings to about your boss. She was your best friend and you trusted her implicitly.

When you first told her you liked Hotch, she started paying more attention to how he acted around you. By this point, she was convinced he was into you--like really into you. You weren't so sure. Hotch was always so professional...you couldn't imagine a situation where he would break the rules so blatantly.

The hotel was small, only 8 rooms in total, four on the second floor and four on the third. JJ and Emily's room was on the second, as was yours and Hotch's, meanwhile, Rossi's room and Reid and Morgan's was on the third floor.

Hotch unlocked the door and waited for you to enter before bidding goodnight to JJ and Emily and shutting the door. You managed one last glare in JJ's direction before the door shut, but she shot you a wink and ducked into her own room.

When you turned around and got a full view of the room, you realized just how tiny it was. The two beds were so close together they were almost touching and the only other pieces of furniture in the room were a single nightstand and a small loveseat.

"Well this is...quaint," you managed.

Hotch laughed lightly. "That's one word for it." He tossed his duffle onto the bed closest to the door. "I'll take this one if that's okay with you?"

You nodded and walked over to the other bed and sat down on the edge of it. "You wanna shower first? I'll take longer."

"Sure, thanks." He grabbed what he would need and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

You gave yourself a little slap on the face to try and snap yourself out it. Your brain was betraying you as it often did in situations like this. First, you imagined what he would look like without his clothes, then your mind wandered to taking a shower with him, then to being underneath him on the bed. "Shit, (Y/N)," you said to yourself. "Snap out of it."

You laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for Hotch to come out of the bathroom. You tried to think about literally anything else, but your mind kept traveling back to your boss--as it often did these days.

You knew it was dangerous to let yourself think about him or imagine anything with him. He was beyond off-limits. You couldn't deny the sexual attraction you felt, nor the spark of real attraction, but you sure as hell couldn't act on it. It could destroy both of your lives.

"Uhh...(Y/N)?" Hotch said a little louder. The way he spoke told you it wasn't the first time he'd said your name.

"Sorry--I was lost in thought," you said as you sat up. You were completely unprepared for the sight of him post-shower, his hair was damp and tousled, and he wore nothing but a t-shirt and boxers.

You must have been staring a little too long because he cleared his throat. "Your turn."

"Oh, yeah--right." You stumbled to the bathroom, feeling like a complete idiot. You made fast work of your shower and nighttime routine.

You started digging through your bag trying to find your pjs as the panic started to rise in you. "Fuck," you muttered. "Fuck, shit, fuck!"

"Everything okay in there?" Hotch called.

"Yeah," you called back. "I just--shit--I forgot my pajamas."

"Oh...umm--do you need anything?"

You groaned as you realized all you had was a tank top. "Not to be awkward or anything, but do you maybe have pants?"

He chuckled lightly and you heard him rustle through his bag. "I have a pair of sweats. Will that work?"

Oh, thank god. "Yes! Thank you so much."

You opened the door just enough for him to slide the pants through the crack. You grabbed them gratefully and pulled them on quickly. As expected, they were massive on you. He was broader and taller than you, the sweats making you look like you were a child trying on your father's clothes.

You walked out of the bathroom, holding tightly to the waistband of the pants. "They're slightly big on me," you said lightly.

Hotch looked over at you and froze. His eyes trailed over your body slowly and you felt incredibly exposed under his gaze.

"The uh--the tank was all I had," you mumbled as you climbed into your bed.

Hotch seemed to realize he'd been staring awkwardly and his gaze quickly averted. "Don't worry about it. You can wear whatever you want to bed."

You chuckled. "Thank you?"

He groaned. "Sorry, that came out weird."

"It's okay." You laid down on your bed and sighed. "These beds are tiny."

He laughed. "You're telling me. I've never felt so large in my life."

You looked over at him and giggled. "You look like you're sleeping in a child's bed."

He groaned. "I feel like I'm sleeping in a child's bed. There is no way this is going to be comfortable."

"What size are these beds, anyway?"

"I don't think they even make beds like this. They're slightly larger than a twin, but smaller than a full."

You sighed. "They had them specially made for this tiny room."

He chuckled. "Probably."

You curled up under your covers and settled in for the night, exhaustion finally overwhelming your body. "Could you get the light?"

"Of course." He reached over and turned off the lamp. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight, Hotch."

**********

"How'd you sleep?" you asked the next morning.

"Terribly," Hotch admitted.

"Me too, honestly."

"It's the tiny bed."

You sighed. "Hopefully we'll only be here a day or two."

The whole team worked hard all day, doing their best to catch the latest unsub. You finally decided to call it a night around 7.

"Let's get dinner and head back to the hotel," Hotch said.

Everyone agreed and you headed to the local diner, one of the only places to get food in this town.

You slid into the booth on the side facing the door, as you always did, and to your surprise, Hotch slid in next to you. JJ was sitting across from you and she smirked slightly when she saw Hotch sit down.

You gave her a 'shut it' look and she just chuckled.

Throughout dinner, Hotch's leg brushed against yours several times and his proximity had you distracted. You could smell his cologne and it made you lightheaded. It was almost embarrassing. When his leg would brush yours, your entire body froze and you found it difficult to breathe.

You were beyond grateful for dinner to be over and to head back to the hotel. But even there you couldn't escape him because you were sharing a damn room. FML.

When you walked back into the hotel room and stared at the tiny beds you groaned audibly.

Hotch followed your gaze and chuckled. "Yeah, not looking forward to that either."

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head and before you could think better of it, you spit said idea out. "Hey, what if we push the beds together to make one big bed?"

Hotch froze. "What?"

"I mean, at least then it'd be like a normal sized bed and maybe then we could get some sleep."

He just stared at you in silence and you quickly realized what you had just suggested.

"Or, not--just kidding. That was a terrible idea."

"No, no--actually, that's not a bad idea," he said.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah! I mean, at least that way we both have a higher chance of actually getting some sleep."

"Okay, cool."

The two of you set to work on moving the nightstand out of the way and pushing the two beds together. It actually did seem to be make sense, at least visually. Hopefully it made sleeping a little more pleasant tonight as well.

"Much better," you said softly as you patted your side of the bed. "Just don't roll me off the bed in the middle of the night."

He laughed. "No promises."

Just like the night before, Hotch showered first, then it was your turn. When you came back out, he was already laying in the bed with his eyes closed.

You moved slowly and lightly, just in case he was asleep. When you crawled into the bed, you noticed the way he was breathing and you couldn't help but smile. He was fast asleep, all the worry lines that normally lived on his face were gone, and you couldn't help but think he looked incredibly peaceful.

You smiled again as you reached across him to turn off the lamp before getting comfortable on your side of the bed. "Goodnight, Hotch," you whispered.

**********

The next day was almost identical to the day before. Work all day, eat dinner, shower, go to sleep.

It was day number four when things finally started to pick up. It was an extremely long day, but the team had successfully identified the unsub. Now it was just a matter of finding him.

Day five was an absolute shitshow. One of the locals had messed up and spoiled the team's chance of catching the unsub. You'd been on a wild goose chase for most of the day and Hotch was in an absolutely foul mood by the time you made it back to the hotel.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked quietly as the two of you sat upright in bed.

"No."

"Okay."

You both sat in silence for several minutes--the heaviest silence you'd ever felt.

"I don't like feeling powerless," Hotch said suddenly.

You turned to look at him in surprise. "No one does."

He shook his head. "It's worse for me. I'm in charge--I'm supposed to be the leader. If I have no control, then what are we supposed to do?"

"It might help to remember you're not alone."

He looked over at you. "I feel alone."

"You're not. You have us," you insisted.

"I shouldn't be burdening any of you with my troubles."

"It's not a burden. We're your family, Hotch. It's what we're there for."

He fell silent again, but it was much less tense than before. After a few minutes, he spoke again. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"And you won't judge me?"

"I would never judge you," you said honestly.

"Sometimes I lay in bed at night filled with nothing but fear and regret. It's so crippling I can barely move. This case is getting to me, and I--I feel that fear. Every worst case scenario runs through my mind and I feel like I'm drowning."

Instinct takes over and you reach to grab his hand. He tenses, but he doesn't pull away. "I'll be your life-raft," you murmured.

He looked up at you with emotion-filled eyes. You weren't used to seeing anything other than the most stoic expressions on his face and it shocked you beyond belief. But nothing could prepare you for the words about to come out of his mouth. "Can I hold you?" he whispered so softly you almost thought you were hearing things.

"I--uh--you--" you stammered.

"Never mind, forget I said anything."

"No, wait--I was just surprised," you said softly. "If it will help you, then yes, you can hold me."

Without waiting for him to respond, you laid down beside him. He shifted slightly, getting into a more comfortable position. You felt his arm snake around you as he whispered, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," you whispered back.

He tightened his grip around your waist and pulled you closer so your back was flush against his front. You couldn't remember a time when you didn't want this, but you didn't imagine it happening quite like this.

It was either exhaustion from the day or the comfort of his arms, but you fell asleep within moments, Hotch not far behind you. Neither of you would admit it, but it was the best sleep you'd gotten in ages.

**********

The next day was different in so many ways. Hotch was different. Opening up to you had changed something in him, something you didn't understand. He was never more than a few feet from you at any point in time, he would brush up against you often, and he would glance at you for much longer than he should have. You weren't sure what to think, and you didn't want to read too much into it.

It was mid-afternoon when you received a phone call that led you to the location of the unsub. The seven of you pulled up to an abandoned house where he was supposedly staying. You entered, guns drawn, and began to clear the house.

You reached one of the back bedrooms and a shot rang out. You ducked back out of the doorway just as another bullet struck the doorframe where you had been standing a second before.

"FBI! Put the weapon down!" you yelled.

"You first," a voice replied.

"Come on, Matthew, it's over. Just put the gun down and come out."

You felt Hotch come up beside you. "She's right, Matthew. We have you surrounded."

You could practically hear the wheels in Matthew's head turning. After several moments of silence, a final shot rang out, followed by a loud thud.

Hotch reached out to stop you, but you pulled away from him and entered the bedroom. Matthew, the unsub, was lying on the floor in the middle of the room. The gun was in his right hand, blood splattered all over the left side of the room.

"Guess we were right about him being suicidal," you said softly. When you turned to look back at Hotch, he was staring at you with a look you couldn't quite place--somewhere between terror and anger.

Before you could ask him what was wrong, the rest of the team started coming into the room. You made a mental note to ask him about it later.

Hotch was quiet during dinner and he was silent when you got back to your room. He didn't even say anything as he crawled into bed.

You'd asked him if he was okay and he'd brushed you off, but you were no fool. You could feel the tension rolling off his body in waves.

You laid there, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what had happened and why he wouldn't speak to you. It was killing you inside and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Never do that again," he said suddenly.

"Do what?" you asked in confusion.

"Put yourself in danger like that. You could have been killed."

"Hotch, I was doing my job."

"Your job is to come home at the end of the day--not get yourself shot by some deranged killer."

"What are you talking about?"

He turned the light on and sat up, anger radiating off him. "You didn't even think--you heard that last shot and you just went into that room. You didn't know what you'd find! You didn't know if he was still alive--if he was going to shoot you. You didn't think about what it would do to me if something happened to you!"

You'd been gearing up to yell back at him until you heard his last sentence. "What it would do to you?" you whispered.

He froze, seemingly realizing in that moment what he'd actually admitted out loud. "I--shit."

"Hotch?" you questioned softly.

He groaned and put his head in his hands. "Forget I said anything."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

He sighed. "Look, (Y/N). I--I care about you, okay? I...I don't think I could take it if something happened to you."

"Nothing happened, Hotch. I'm perfectly fine."

He finally looked up at you. "This time. What about the next time? Or the one after that? I'm terrified every single time you step into a potentially dangerous situation."

"Terrified of what, exactly?"

"Losing you!" he yelled, exasperated. "Of watching something bad happen to you; of not telling you how I feel; of never getting the chance to touch you or hold you or kiss you--and I can't stand it, (Y/N)! I just can't."

You blinked several times as if that would magically make his words sink in. Of all the ways you'd imagined having this kind of conversation with him, this was most definitely not on the list.

"I'm sorry," you murmured. "I didn't know you worried so much."

His eyes were swimming with emotion and unshed tears. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" he whispered.

You shook your head. "But I think I'm starting to see it."

"I know I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to like you this way or want you like this, but I can't keep suppressing my emotions and pretending everything is fine as it is. It's not fine, (Y/N)--I'm not fine. I can't keep living a lie...it's killing me."

Every word you'd ever learned magically left your brain in that moment. Your heart was hammering in your chest, the only indication you were still alive, the rest of you completely frozen in time.

Then, suddenly, your brain kicked back into gear and you launched yourself towards him, lips locking against his in a passionate kiss. Your words had failed you, but there was no mistaking the emotions in that kiss.

When you separated, you were breathing heavily, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you realized what you'd done. Before you could apologize, Hotch grabbed you and pulled you back into him, kissing you with as much passion as you'd given him.

"(Y/N)," he breathed against your lips.

You sighed as he grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap, lips never leaving yours. His hands snaked up under your tank top, feeling your warm, soft skin with the tips of his fingers.

You let him pull your shirt off over your head and his gaze fell to your exposed breasts. He bit his lip and looked up at you hesitantly, as if asking for your permission.

You grabbed his left hand and placed it directly on your chest. He got the hint and immediately lowered his face to take your pert nipple into his mouth.

You let out a little sigh and ran your fingers through his dark hair. When he nipped at your breast, you gasped and tightened your hold on him.

"Aaron..." you whispered softly, losing yourself in the feeling of his hands and his lips on your body.

He groaned and lifted his head to look at you again. "I never thought my name on your lips would sound so sexy."

You grinned and murmured, "Aaron."

"Now you're just being a tease."

You bit your lip and winked at him.

He chuckled lightly before flipping you onto your back so you were under him on the bed. He reattached his lips to yours, kissing you like his life depended on it.

Your hands began to tug on his shirt and he pulled away from you just long enough for you to yank it over his head. He wasted no time getting back to kissing you, his lips trailing down your jaw and neck.

Your hands caressed every inch of his skin you could reach from your position, the softness of your touch eliciting sweet sounds from his lips.

He rutted his hips against yours and you gasped at the feeling of his very hard member pressing into you.

Your body suddenly went into overdrive--years of pent-up desire rising to the surface. "I need you," you begged.

He lifted his gaze to meet yours. "I'm right here, baby."

You shook your head. "Need more."

He smirked. "Who knew you'd be such a needy girl?"

"Aaron," you whined.

He chuckled. "Alright, alright. Patience, sweetheart." He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your sweatpants and gave them a firm tug. He pulled them down your legs and tossed them off to the side.

You spread your legs for him, revealing your soaking wet core. He moaned at the sight before slipping a finger between your folds to collect the juices that lingered there. He brought his finger up to his mouth and licked it clean, another moan escaping his lips.

"You taste delicious," he murmured.

You could only stare at him, eyes pleading him to give you more.

Normally Hotch would have taken his time teasing you, but he could feel your need radiating off you in waves. Plus, if he was being honest, he needed you just as badly. Waiting just wasn't in the cards tonight.

He dropped to his stomach between your legs and before you could say a word, his mouth was on you, hot breath, wet tongue, and devilish lips dancing across your core, making you gasp with pleasure.

He ate you out like you were his very last meal--and he intended to savor every second of it. Despite having never been intimate with you before, he played your body like an expert musician, hitting every single one of your sweet spots, making you squirm beneath his touch.

"Aaron, please--I'm--" you gasped out.

He moaned, not wanting to stop his ministrations to respond to you. He knew you were close without you having to spell it out. He could feel the way your pussy clenched around his fingers and the way your thighs had begun to shake. He was desperate to feel you cum--to taste your delicious release--so he didn't stop.

Your fingers dug into his scalp and tugged at his hair as you squirmed, pleasure threatening to overwhelm you.

With one last flick of his tongue and motion of his fingers, you cried out his name as your orgasm crashed into you. He held you in place as he lapped up your release, lips not leaving your pussy until you practically dragged him up by his hair.

He smiled down at you and licked his lips, tasting the last of you on them. Your eyes were wide and your body shivered with aftershocks--a feeling you weren't exactly accustomed to.

"Can I return the favor?" you asked, slightly breathless.

"As much as I would love that, I wanna be inside of you too badly to wait--I'm gonna struggle to last as it is."

You smiled. "Then lose the boxers, handsome. Lemme see you."

He sat up and quickly shed his boxers, eyes focused on your face. He knew he was well endowed--and he knew how to use it--but nothing made his chest swell with pride as much as the way you were looking at him right now.

Your eyes were focused on his cock, surprise evident in your gaze as you took in his size. The surprise quickly melted into heady desire and your gaze flicked back up to his face.

"Like what you see?" he teased.

"You know I do," you whispered.

There was something about the way you said it that made him want you even more. As he lined himself up with your entrance, he took a deep breath to try and maintain his composure. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you or lose control.

You wiggled your hips slightly, letting him know you were ready and willing.

He locked eyes with you as he began to slowly slide into your tight, wet heat. Your lips parted and a soft gasp left them as he pushed inside. "I've got you, baby," he murmured.

Your hands gripped his biceps as he kept pushing into you, the stretch threatening to break you right in half. By the time he finally bottomed out, your nails had dug crescent shaped indentations into his skin.

He wanted to wait for your body to adjust to him before he began to move, but you had other plans. "Fuck me, Aaron. Please."

The pleading tone in your voice was all he needed to hear. He began to move, hips setting a fast pace from the start.

The room filled with the sounds of your love-making--moans, whimpers, gasps of each other's names--mixed with the salacious sounds of your bodies coming together.

"You feel so good, baby," he whispered. "Even more incredible than I imagined."

Your mind was completely fuzzy, filled with nothing but the feeling of immense pleasure. As such, you couldn't formulate coherent sentences to respond to anything Hotch whispered to you.

"I could stay here forever--" he moaned as you clenched tightly around him. "Fuck--baby, I'm not gonna last."

You simply moaned in response as he sped up his movements.

"I need you to cum for me, (Y/N/N). Need to feel you--please."

You were clutching onto him, nails raking down his back as he fucked you deeply. "Close," was all you could manage to say to him.

"Can I fill you up, baby girl? Wanna make you mine."

Something about his words drove you wild. You screamed out "Yes!" followed by "Aaron!" as you came, body shaking beneath him.

The way your pussy clenched around his cock as you came sent him right over the edge and he filled you with his seed. His hips faltered on his last few strokes and he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you both came down from your highs.

He slowly pulled out of you and your body shivered slightly at the loss of contact. He quickly got up, stumbling slightly, as he made his way to the bathroom for a warm washcloth.

He came back and began to gently clean you up. When he was done, he tossed the washcloth onto the floor and crawled into the bed beside you.

"Come here, pretty girl," he mumbled.

You obliged, moving your body so you were up against his side. He pulled you closer and you rested your head on his chest.

"Infinitely better than I'd imagined," he whispered into your hair.

You chuckled lightly. "Agreed."

"Oh? So you imagined it too?"

You glanced up at him, a light blush covering your cheeks. "Of course I did."

He raised his eyebrows. "You're very good at hiding your attraction."

"Thank you. It's not exactly easy when you're surrounded by a bunch of profilers."

He nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm surprised you didn't know I liked you before this."

You bit your lip and looked away.

"What is it?"

"Well...JJ knew."

"Oh?"

"She insisted you liked me...and she also knows that I like you."

"Ahh, well...I suppose it was only a matter of time."

You looked up at him again. "You're taking this surprisingly well."

He shrugged. "It's not as if I was planning on keeping this a secret."

Surprise lit up your face. "You weren't?"

He returned your surprised expression. "Of course not. I finally have you, (Y/N), and I'm sure as hell not letting go."

"But what about the rules?"

"To hell with the rules. We deserve to be happy."

"Who are you and what have you done with Aaron Hotchner?" you teased softly.

He smiled. "Him? Well...he fell in love."

You inhaled sharply.

"You don't have to say it back, (Y/N). I have no expectations here...but I know how I feel and I needed to say it."

You lifted your head off his chest to look at him better. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. I love you too," you whispered.

A thousand emotions filled his eyes the moment those words left your lips. He leaned down to kiss you and you felt your body respond to him immediately.

Before you knew it, you were straddling him as you made out, desire pulsating between you. "Round two?" you asked with a grin.

"I thought you'd never ask."

**********

The next morning, you went down for breakfast a few minutes before Hotch. You'd woken up to his lips on the back of your neck and shoulders--kisses that quickly turned to more fiery passion.

You'd finally convinced him to come shower with you, which of course took longer because he insisted on giving you just one more orgasm.

When you walked into the little seating area on the first floor, you were greeted by the rest of your team. Every single one of them had shit-eating grins on their faces as they said good morning to you.

"How was your night, (Y/N)?" Emily asked lightly.

"Did you sleep well?" JJ teased.

"I didn't get much sleep," you said honestly--knowing they clearly were already aware of that.

"I imagine Hotch didn't either," Morgan said with a grin.

You shot him a look. "Alright, out with it."

"I'm just saying, (Y/N/N), the walls are really thin," he responded.

Your eyes widened and you looked at JJ for confirmation.

"We're just really grateful for those noise-canceling headphones you got us for Christmas last year," JJ answered.

"Oh. My. God," you groaned.

"Morning everyone," Hotch said as he walked into the room, completely oblivious to the current conversation.

"Morning, Aaron," Rossi said knowingly, a teasing lilt to his voice.

Hotch glanced at you, taking note of your very red cheeks. Comprehension dawned on his face and his eyes widened slightly.

"Thin walls," you whispered.

To your surprise, Hotch simply smiled. "Saves us the trouble of telling them we're dating."

Rossi was the first to laugh and the rest of the team quickly joined in. You were glad they knew--even if it was in the most awkward way possible. You knew they loved and supported both you and Hotch, and that wouldn't change with your new-found relationship.

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

[jq37]

I think the wildest part about the Porter isn't that he's evil. As you've said, Brennan's been hinting at Porter being evil this season for a while now, so while it's still shocking, it's not surprising, if you get what I'm saying.

No, it's the fact that this has always been the plan and not something that was reconned in this season. Like, we all thought this was just Brennan taking the bit to its logical conclusion, but no, this has been a reveal five years in the making...

And Emily figured it out Day fucking One by sheer accident!

Yeah for me the thing that floored me wasn't the reveal because that's been on the table for a while now. It was when Brennan said he'd been holding on to it for five years.

Because I even an amazing DM like Brennan can't plan EVERYTHING in advance. Like, the Night Yorb was obviously an addition purely based on the fact that Murph anagrammed Garthy of Brian looking for clues. And I can't imagine Gilear was ever meant to be anything other than a 4 HP divorcee. The Night Yorb fight and Gilear's curse are both pretty clear instances of Brennan running with a bit and working it into the story. But he said he's been sitting on this for FIVE YEARS. Since Freshman year!

I would even be less shocked if he said since Sophmore Year because there is that weird conversation with him, Jace, and Arianwen that finally came up this ep that was never resolved. But since Freshman year? That's nuts!

Second Edit: I am untethered to the passage of time and did my math to figure out when 5 years ago was incorrectly lol. Still impressed Brennan sat on this for so long but 5 years means since Soph Year not Freshman Year. See the replies for me realizing I did my math wrong last night.

If he's not exaggerating then, imo, it's pretty incredible to have this much lore in the back pocket with regard to NPCs that aren't even necessarily factoring into your main story that much. I wonder if this is akin to Mr. Gibbons (dude Aguefort killed to rez Gorgug in ep 2) just being evil and it never being explored but Brennan having had it in his notes. Does he just have a list of 3-5 other evil plots simultaneously happening in the background ready to be stumbled onto or just the general vibes of which teachers are shady?

And, as a sometimes DM, the last time I ran a full length campaign, literally before the game even started--like during Session Zero--I had my BBEG guessed offhandedly by a player just based on her name which wasn't any different from the other names I listed as part of background info and I just went through all the stages of grief internally and then pressed on without changing anything because of Story Integrity. Anyway my point is that it happens and as a DM it is WILD when it does.

Anyway, I am SO excited for the AP tomorrow. Brennan, you better not hold anything back I am SO curious about your DM machinations!

(Edit: Equally excited for Emily's reaction. Adaine is the diviner of the party and, evidently, Emily is the diviner of the table. WILD.)

(Second Edit:

[hotchfiles]

↪ day two. the one who got away — #marchhotchness

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ [no rainfall, no sunshine] ❞

pairing: aaron hotchner x rossi!reader. summary: if there was a god, he wasn’t merciful, he was bloodthirsty, and he had a vendetta against aaron. he’s cursed, he knows it. content warnings: major character death (reader), blood, funeral, grief. fem reader, she/her pronouns used by the end. word count: 1.1k

      Time stood still for what felt like hours, he couldn’t feel his limbs, his legs didn’t move, his mind full of racing thoughts but none making any sense, too jumbled together to be able to complete a single line of action, his eyes burnt and blinking away he noticed it was due the tears. Aaron’t didn’t bother to clean them. 

      Not like this. Not right now. 

      The blurriness begins to fade as the sirens became louder, Aaron tries to run as his legs obey him once more, but he’s stopped by Derek’s arms, holding him back at full force and yelling his name. The yelling seems far away even though it’s in front of him. 

      “Morgan! Let me go, let me go!” He tries to give his most stern look, his throat is dry and voice cracks out as he tries to be heard over the commotion, Spencer and Emily bring helping arms, stopping him from trying. “Does she have a pulse? Why aren’t they taking her already?”

      All he can see is red, from the ambulances, from the sirens, from the blood splattered in the white blouse you chose to wear to work that day. The blue badge hanging on your pocket proudly where red touched: Blood and bloodline, Rossi.

      “Where’s Dave?” Realization dawns on him, he couldn’t get to you because it wasn’t good, and your father was nowhere to be found. “Where’s Ros–Did anyone call David?” It’s all happening fast, in seconds, minutes, but he still isn’t able to let your last name slip out of his tongue, hurting as he thought so. 

      You’re finally placed on a gurney and he feels a tiny bit of hope, ready to fight the arms of his colleagues, his family, to run to you. 

      His knees fail him before he could, a dark tarp being pulled over you, your arm slipping from the gurney, lifeless. 

      Not like this. Not again. 

      Derek tries to stop him from falling to the pavement, but the weight of his body giving up is too much. Aaron ends up sitting on the sidewalk, unable to speak, unable to listen to any comfort anyone tried to bring him. He’s cursed. He’s sure of it now. 

      If there was a god, he wasn’t merciful, he was bloodthirsty, and he had a vendetta against Aaron. He’s cursed, he knows it. 

      “I didn’t tell her–I thought I had time–I didn’t tell her…” He’s a mumbling barely understandable mess and after that it all mixes up together, all sounds, all images turning into one big blur that turned into the sight of your body being carried away. 

      Next thing he knows he’s at the hospital even though he’s not allowed to recognize your body, he’s not family, even though he had just a week before started to look for engagement rings, he’s not family yet. He didn’t buy one, he didn’t propose. 

      He can’t sign any papers regarding your death off because he took too long to ask you to go to a courthouse with him, get married, sign papers proving you were part of him as much as he was a part of you instead. All Aaron could do was sit down on the first chair he could find, eyes glued to his own hands, sweaty, white from his mental state but clean; not bloody like yours when it dropped from the gurney. 

      He doesn’t know how much time passes, JJ sits by his side, offers him water, coffee, tells him they’ve called home to tell Jessica to keep Jack for a few more hours. 

      Home. The word alone makes his skin crawl but he doesn’t have enough time to dwell into it, the shuffling of Dave’s quick steps snapping him out of it quickly enough for him to watch the older’s hand closed into a fist, the punch to his jaw was the obvious next step but he didn’t move, accepting it gratefully as it was his fault. 

      It’s the first time he sees David cry and he’s expecting yelling, but he feels arms around him instead. 

      They cry together. Your father tells him he’s sorry for his first reaction, but he knows that’s gonna go deep into Aaron’s unconscious for a long time. 

      It wasn’t his fault, everyone around him kept telling him that and the rational part of his brain did too, but he couldn’t let go of how you were alone because of him. Because of how he reacted when you suggested moving in together, getting a bigger place with a backyard for Jack. 

      Aaron told you it was too soon, that Jack had enough change in his life, that you needed to take things slow. He told you no because he was afraid, terrified of ruining things that were already too good to be true. 

      You weren’t happy with his response, you went back to your apartment. You were alone. 

      It was an accident, you stepped on the road too soon, the truck never saw you coming, there was a series of hits after that, several injured, only you fatal. He couldn’t blame anyone, so he blamed himself. It wouldn’t happen if you were with him. 

      The funeral tears him apart, Jack didn’t cry when his mom died, not at first, he didn’t understand, but now he was old enough to understand a funeral meant he would never see you again, so he sobbed embraced by Joy, she had tears herself streaming down her eyes from losing her half sister. Just a reminder of another person Aaron failed. 

      Your father gives a speech about how he wished he had more time, how glad he was about the time he had and tries to lift up the mood by saying that at least he wouldn’t have to look for a murderer, you hated his books about it after all. 

      No one was sure if Aaron would speak, knowing that doing that once was enough for a lifetime, but he needed to, he needed to say it out loud, even if you couldn’t hear it. 

      “I was always terrified I was going to bite more than I could chew with her–” He smiles to himself, memories of you flooding his mind, “She was a force of nature, and I loved her, I did. I love her still. And I never told her that, she was so patient with me and I never told her how much I love her because I was scared.” He had so much more to say, but he knew he would break down if another word left his lips, so he just stepped aside, taking Jack in his arms to comfort and be comforted by his little boy. 

      He couldn’t sleep that night, or the ones that followed, thinking about how if he told you before how much he loved you, even if you knew without it, if he looked for rings earlier, if he bought one, proposed, if he just got over his fear of losing people and kissed you when you suggested moving in with him… You wouldn’t have slipped through his fingers like that. 

      Aaron is cursed, he knows that.  

[nightmarevore]

“You wish to be my housemate, then?” William Afton, posh and proper as ever, sits at a table, across from another man. 

This other man is Henry Emily, sitting silently and staring at the man. He nods in response, and his fingers play with themselves nervously. 

“I do, we’re both going to be starting College soon, and we’re going to the same one. It would be a smarter idea to move in with someone so close and with the same schedule as myself.” Henry replies, holding his fingers still in his lap. 

“Hm… You’re absolutely right.” William’s accent isn’t American—In fact, it sounds something akin to British. Is there a hint of cockney in there? “I must inform you of something that is make-or-break for many people. There have been countless before you who I’ve told this to, and it made them immediately change their minds.”

Henry’s eyebrows furrow. What could this possibly be?

“What is it?” He asks.

“I’m a predator. I must eat people on occasion. I am constantly hungry, and at any given moment, without warning, I will swallow you whole.” The Brit’s voice is monotone, and his expression remains still and neutral. 

It’s easy to tell he’s being quite serious about this. 

“You’ll…. swallow me whole?” Henry repeats, tilting his head. Almost as if asking for clarification. 

William stands up from his chair, and it pushes out with his legs. He places a hand over his stomach. 

“I have the ability to swallow people. Shifters, full-sized people, you name it. I can even eat an object or two… Either way, by becoming my roommate, you must also accept the fact that you may end up in here.” The Predator pats his stomach, signifying what’s under his button-up shirt. 

Henry pauses, and his eyes shift down to where the other was gesturing towards. He… would get eaten whole? How does that work? Why does that sound so interesting? It’s a new experience, perhaps it could be fun?

“Maybe a demonstration is in order?” Henry blurts out, eyes widening. He shocks himself with the request.

William’s eyes widen, and he adjusts his glasses. He can’t say he’s ever had someone willingly offer themselves to be eaten. 

“You want me to eat you?” The Brit asks. 

Henry pauses, realizing what he just asked. His eyes shift from William’s face to his stomach. 

“… Yes.” He says. 

William’s lips curl into a smile, soon parting and revealing his sharpened teeth. He walks around the table, standing tall beside Henry, and possible new roommate. 

Almost as if he were hypnotized by the taller man, Henry stands up from his chair, staring into William’s bright green eyes. They’re easy to get lost in; his eyes are almost like beautiful jewels on his face. 

Without hesitation, William places his hands on the other man’s shoulders, giving into his desperate, endless hunger and shoving Henry’s head into his mouth and throat. He doesn’t hesitate to swallow, determined to temporarily sate his hunger. Henry Emily will go down, with or without a fight. 

Henry’s eyes quickly shut as he’s faced with the darkness and loud strength of the predator’s throat. William’s strength and ability is enough to throw him off, and it takes the man a moment to be sure this wasn’t some kind of weird dream or not. 

“Wi—“ Henry attempts to get a word in before another aggressive swallow sends him further down, and rather quickly at that. His entire torso must be inside of William by now. 

In response, William purrs, and despite the heavy and hearty swallows, he seems to be enjoying himself. Enjoying Henry’s flavor. His eyes flutter shut, and he picks up Henry with his hands as he quickly and heavily swallows the other man down. His hunger demands the man, especially now that he’s gotten a taste. An absolutely stunning taste, at that. Has anyone ever tasted this good? This delicious? As delectable as this man? All of the different flavors of people he’s eaten tend to melt away into something he’s unable to remember. This time, however….

With another swallow, Henry’s head is quickly shoved and pushed down into the predator’s stomach organ. His stomach grows quickly, and continues to grow, straining the buttons of his shirt. William doesn’t care, as indicated as more of his meal fills his stomach and breaks off buttons. 

William’s ravenous stomach groans and gurgles as soon as Henry enters, but the half-eaten man can’t tell if it’s because William is hungry, or if it’s because it has him inside of it. He can’t believe how tight this is—William’s throat and stomach constrict and hold him in place. It’s hard to think he can even eat him in the first place, but it’s clearly possible. And judging by how fast he’s gone down, the predator does this fairly often. Henry can’t say he’s ever felt the flesh of another human’s stomach before, and the inner walls are quite slick. Wet with saliva and acid. It’s strange, though. It’s not entirely uncomfortable. Hot, sure… But not unpleasant. 

William swallows twice, forcing his legs down inside of him. The Brit purrs at the sensation of his belly growing and being filled. Henry seemingly shifts around inside as more of him is quickly stuffed inside, and another, large, final swallow sends the rest of his lunch down his throat and past his collarbone. Both hands press into his belly, and a smile grows on the predator’s face. A deep exhale marks Henry settling fully inside his stomach, and he opens his eyes. His shirt has fully broken apart to the top of his belly, noting that he’d have to fix that later. 

For now, William pats his stomach, putting a hand down on the back of the chair where Henry was just sitting, soon turning and sitting down on the chair itself. It creaks from the weight, but settles as William continues to smile and his stomach rests on his lap.

“Well, Henry… I hope you’ll enjoy living together.”

[fbfh]

Hey! Then in hoo it is mentioned that Leo has dealt with a lot of bullies and horrible people since Esperanza died, I could ask for something like him and his s/o going to do something normal like shopping and end up running into one of these people And they keep making fun of Leo so his s/o defends him and comforts him or something like that(sorry if it seems confusing, English is not my first language haha)

first of all your english is great babes!! not confusing at all <33

ah yes. the bitchy girls. the asshole mean girls who have a fucking superpower for sniffing out adhd and autism and other neurodivergent traits like fucking blood hounds. the devils in lululemon leggings and nike sneakers who worship the ground hailey bieber walks on and keep their marc jacobs tote bags full of knives to stab anyone and everyone in the back with the moment the see an opportunity to.

those girls.

Leo's been able to avoid them for a while. Drew was the worst at camp, but she was a watered down version of them - Leo realized at some point that Drew adopting those traits was her own way of dealing with shit, and the more time she spent at camp since Piper became head of cabin, the more chilled out she's gotten.

There were barely any mean girls at MIT, none he had trouble avoiding at least. But now he's here, back in the real world, shopping for groceries for your little apartment you have together. And in the real world, fresh out of nursing school, is Emily. The exact same Emily from the school he went to before camp half blood. At 15, Leo went through a lot of shit. School was hell, his foster family was so bad he ran away enough to be sent to the wilderness school, and he was at one of the lowest points of his entire life.

You don't know who she is, but from the look on Leo's face, the sudden, sharp drop in his energy, the way he starts picking at his hands and gets all jittery. He hopes he can get away with it, hopes she won't even recognize him.

"Oh my god... Leo Valdez?"

you grimace at her voice, the way she mispronounces his last name, and your hackles rise. She looks at you in shock, seeming to hold back a laugh.

"Wait, is he your boyfriend?"

She says it like it's some joke, like this whole thing is hilarious.

"He used to be so awkward!" she giggles, "Wow, you look exactly the same."

Leo can read you like a book, and he knows you are SO pissed off for him.

"Yeah," You say with an equally sarcastic smile, "I had no idea you guys were the same age, you look so much older. I never would have known you guys were in the same class."

She blanches a little, and you double down.

"Leo actually just graduated top of his class at MIT. He has, like, a dozen job offers already." You smile at him proudly. "So how about you, are you... doing anything?"

"Mhm." She nods, the humor suddenly gone. "Nursing school. I just started."

"Oh," you nod, glancing over at Leo and sharing a subtle look with him, "well, we better get going, we have some open houses to get to."

As you walk away, still close enough for her to hear, you mutter to Leo, stifling a smile.

"Wow. The mean girl to nursing school pipeline is real." You chuckle, "And like, she does know it's not 2016 anymore, right? Cause her eyebrows don't seem to..."

He's so surprised that after an interaction with her, after all these years, he actually feels... okay. Outside the shithole of high school, with you by his side, she doesn't seem nearly as intimidating as she had. He's not sure how you got him to realize that so quickly, but he realizes that there's nothing that feels that intimidating when you're by his side. And you're right, her eyebrows are just as awful as her personality.

[matchingbatbites]

break the ice (i can't take anymore)

Explicit | 2.2k | Read on Ao3

This is a gift for darling Emily @judasofsuburbia as part of the STuad server gift exchange! Emily, I hope you like this, because I know nothing about hockey. <3

Prompts included are A Really Good Kiss, Hockey, and The Pet Name "Princess". CW includes semi-public sex, D/s undertones. Full tag list over on Ao3

This isn’t the first time they’ve been pitted against each other, not by a long shot. 

It’s something that comes with the territory of being athletes, especially when you’re as good at the game as Steve and Eddie are. They haven’t been on the same teams in years, and it’s something they’ve learned to navigate - balancing their professional careers and their personal life.

This is their first time facing each other down during the fucking Stanley Cup, though. 

It’s been a surreal experience. They’ve spent the entire game having so much fun with each other, just taunting and teasing back and forth whenever they have the chance, playing up the rivalry their fans love to see. Skating circles around each other while trying to keep their heads in the game, both wanting to win but needing to have fun with it, for their own sanity - and for the sake of their relationship.

They use the fights that break out to their advantage, flying into each other’s arms and holding on tight, whispering while they wait for whatever brawl to finish. Eddie proves that he isn’t afraid to play dirty, that he’s willing to get under Steve’s skin to try to throw him off his game.

Steve had to recover quickly from Eddie’s muttered “Can’t wait to jack you off when I get my shiny new Stanley ring, princess,” just the thought of getting cum all over a twenty thousand dollar piece of jewelry making Steve reel. 

The last few minutes of the game are tense. Eddie and another player get sent to the penalty box, and Steve barely has the chance to mourn the loss of his boyfriend’s presence because there’s two fucking minutes left to bring the score out of a tie. And somehow, some fucking way, Steve’s team does it. 

He doesn’t even realize they’ve won until the buzzer sounds and his teammates are swarming the ice, helmets and padding and sticks flying everywhere as they converge into a mass of euphoria.

The arena is filled with the sounds of cheering and yelling, cries of joy and outrage, all of it so loud that Steve barely hears his own name being called through it all. He turns just before Eddie slams into him, sending them both gliding a few feet across the ice and into a fit of laughter. 

“You did it! You fucking won, baby!” he yells, and Steve feels so fucking giddy because they did. 

Steve doesn’t get a chance to respond before Eddie is hauling him into a kiss, something electric and ravenous thanks to the adrenaline pumping through their systems. Steve responds so easily, ever eager to let Eddie take and take whatever he wants, to let the man devour him in any way he seems fit.

One of Eddie’s hands settles on the back of his neck, pulling him ever closer, and it’s all Steve can do to clutch at his boyfriend’s jersey, just hanging on and hoping that his knees don’t give out. The cheers around them get even louder, and that’s what makes Eddie pull away, a beaming smile on his face. “Guess the secret’s out, sweetheart.”

Steve just laughs. “It’s only eighteen-thousand people plus the other thousands of fans watching the broadcast.”

“So just a few people, then.”

That sends them into a fit of giggles until one of Steve’s alternate captains grabs him, pulling him back to reality and his duties. “Time to face the media. See you after?” he asks, and Eddie nods, pulls him into one more brief kiss.

“See you soon, baby.”

As captain of the team, Steve spends the next God knows how long dealing with the media. Most of the reporters do a good job with sticking strictly to the game, to the win his team managed to eke out, but that doesn’t stop a few of them from trying to drag his and Eddie’s kiss into the story.

He shuts them down immediately, not wanting to say anything until he and Eddie actually have a chance to talk about it, and eventually he’s able to leave.

The locker room is basically empty when he gets there except for a few stragglers still packing up the rest of their stuff. Steve feels exhausted as he makes his way through the room, he accepts the congratulations from the few people still there and gives his own in return, but otherwise keeps to himself.

He doesn’t expect to see Eddie sitting on the bench in front of Steve’s stuff, still in uniform and his own duffel at his feet. 

“There’s my winner,” he says, grinning at Steve’s approach. “How was the circus?”

Steve hums and moves to stand between Eddie’s legs. Hands settle on his waist, resting just under the hem of his jersey, and Steve’s own hands find a home on Eddie’s shoulders, just in the crook of his neck. “Could have been worse. I managed to keep the us stuff at bay until we can talk about it.” 

“God, you’re so good at that Captain shit, baby. I love watching you command a room of reporters.” Eddie’s hands slip higher, moving under the edge of Steve’s undershirt until he can feel skin, and the younger shivers. The locker door slams shut nearby and the room goes silent, a sign that it’s finally just the two of them alone.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” Steve says as he leans into Eddie’s creeping touch, the little bit of contact more of a tease than anything. “Thought you’d be back at the hotel by now.”

Eddie grins up at Steve and tugs him closer. “And miss the chance to congratulate you properly? To show you how proud I am of you?”

Steve full on shudders at that, his mouth drops in a soft gasp and his hands push up into Eddie’s hair. “Eddie…”

“I am, Stevie. So proud of you, my baby.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Steve’s jersey-covered sternum. “Tell me what you want, princess. Anything, and it’s yours.”

When Eddie says anything, he means it. The possibilities are endless and Steve knows that, is almost overwhelmed by the sudden thoughts that flash through his head. In this moment though, as exhausted and worn out as he is, there’s really only one thing he wants.

“I want a shower, and I want you to fuck me.”

“Yeah? That's all, honey?”

“Yeah, please Eddie.”

Eddie nods and says “Of course. Let’s get out of these clothes, then.”

They work together to strip down, pulling and tugging at each other’s clothes, but not with any rush, any urgency. They simply move in tandem as two people familiar with this specific dance, until they’re both bare and heading to the showers. Steve has the brief thought that he’s glad they’re separate from the rest of the locker room, that Eddie will be able to give him what he wants without anyone surprising them. 

The water is blissfully hot. Steve basks in it as Eddie’s hands work magic in his hair, as he scrubs Steve’s skin clean, every touch tender and adoring. Steve would start drifting, if they were doing this at home, or even in a hotel. As it is, he just leans into the touch, silently showing Eddie just how much he enjoys it.

At some point, Eddie tugs Steve back into his chest and slides soapy hands down his torso, and Steve can feel the shift in the air as he goes from cleaning to touching.

It’s nice, the way Eddie’s hands feel as they make their way down, slipping lower and lower until they find their prize. Steve is already half-hard when Eddie takes him in his slick grip, and he moans as his hips buck into the touch.

“Fuck, Eddie…”

It’s slow, almost torturous, the way Eddie strokes him. Steve honestly enjoys it; he loves when Eddie takes his time, when he makes Steve savor every touch, like they have all the time in the world. Right now, they’re technically on a time crunch, and Eddie’s hand leaves him far sooner than Steve would like. 

“Hands on the wall, princess. Gotta get you open for me.”

Steve just nods and steps out of the water, sets his hands on the white tile while Eddie rummages around in his shower bag. They started carrying lube for moments just like this, these little slices of time that they can spend together during the regular hockey season. Steve is incredibly grateful for it now as Eddie rubs a slick finger over his hole before pushing in. 

It’s euphoric. They haven’t had the chance to do this recently, and Steve’s own fingers pale in comparison to the way Eddie stretches him open, careful but eager. He swiftly goes from one to two, to three, until he’s fucking Steve with four fingers and the younger is shaking with desire.

“Eddie, please, I’m ready. Need you to fuck me.”

“I know, baby, I’ve got you.”

The fingers vanish and Eddie crowds up behind Steve until they’re pressed front-to-back. One hand grabs hold of Steve’s hip, holding him steady as Eddie lines up and finally pushes in. 

If Eddie’s fingers were euphoria, then his cock is fucking heaven. The stretch of it sends tingles up and down Steve’s spine, and he can’t help but push back onto it, needing more faster.

Eddie must be as needy as Steve is at this moment because he doesn’t comment on it, doesn’t slow him down. He just wraps his arms around Steve’s waist and tugs, burying the rest of his cock in one swift motion.

Steve keens at the sudden fullness, and he barely gets a chance to adjust before Eddie is fucking him properly, hips snapping at a steady but eager pace. It’s such a contrast from how Eddie has been touching him, that gentle touch all but gone, like he isn’t able to hold back any more.

It’s so fucking perfect, and Steve’s cheek presses into the tile wall as Eddie just uses him.

“Fuck, Eddie. Missed this,” he says, and Eddie groans.

“I’ve missed this too, baby. Missed touching you and fucking you, just like this. Wish I had time to spread you out and take you apart, treat you like the princess you are.”

A high whine escapes Steve as he nods. It’s been so long since they’ve had more than a few hours together and he misses it, he needs some down time with his boyfriend.

He tries to remind himself that the end of today’s game marks the end of the season, and they should actually have some time together if all of the post-season shit wraps up like it’s supposed to.

Steve is ripped from his thoughts by Eddie’s cock nailing his prostate dead on, and the man hums at Steve’s surprised moan.

“Stay with me, Stevie. Want you to feel everything I do to you, yeah?”

All Steve can do is nod and sink further against the wall, basically along for the ride as Eddie fucks him so so good. His orgasm creeps up on him; he can feel it building with every thrust, every smack of Eddie’s hips against his ass, until he’s right there, close enough to taste it.

“Ed, gonna come!”

It only encourages Eddie, who groans and slides a hand down to wrap around Steve’s dick. “Come on, then. Wanna see you come on my cock, baby, wanna feel you. Let me have it, Stevie.”

Steve gasps; the hand on his dick is almost too much but he bucks into it nonetheless, and that’s all he needs. He knows he’s being loud; his moans echo off the tiles as he spills over Eddie’s hand, but neither of them care too much right now. Eddie just fucks him through it, then chases his own orgasm once Steve is sated and sagging against the shower wall.

It doesn’t take long. Eddie’s teeth sink into his shoulder as he comes, marking Steve both inside and out as he rides out his high. It takes them both a moment to catch their breath, and even then Steve doesn’t dare to move, worried his legs might give out if he tries.

Lips brush over the bite on his shoulder - a quiet apology - before traveling upwards, dotting kisses along the column of his neck and ending just below his ear.

“We need to get out of here before you pass out on me, okay sweetheart?”

Steve hums in response, still hesitant to move from his spot, but does after another moment. They rinse off again and Eddie helps him clean the cum out of his ass before they finally turn off the water and dry off. He watches Eddie get dressed, watches as his athletic body is covered by comfy sweatpants and a shirt that absolutely used to belong to steve.

The thought of not sharing a bed with Eddie, of not being able to just hold him and feel him for a while, is almost nauseating. He needs to be close to his boyfriend tonight, and he can’t help his soft “Will you stay with me tonight? Wanna sleep next to you.”

Eddie’s form sags in relief, like he was waiting for the question. “I was hoping you’d ask. I’ve been dying to cuddle you for weeks.”

That makes Steve chuckle, and he reaches out to grab Eddie’s shirt and tug him closer. “I call little spoon,” he says, and Eddie just beams and leans in for a quick kiss.

“Deal! Let’s get out of here, little spoon.”

[radiant-reid]

Trick or Treat or Surprise

Summary: Halloween at the BAU is a big deal. Apparently, makeup mishaps also are

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (spicy fluff)

Content Warning: just a little making out

Word Count: 2.5k

Masterlist Navigation

Halloween was something Y/n had guessed wouldn't be such a big deal at the BAU. When she opens a black envelope that arrived on her desk one morning in mid-October, she realizes she was wrong.

Spencer's grinning, but it's not directed at her like it usually is. "What is this?" She asks, ripping the envelope open.

"One of the best days of the year." He replies excitedly. He's cute like that, and she wishes she could tell him. Everyone else misses the fact he previously referred to the 31st of October as the singular best day of the year. Not anymore when he has her birthday and their anniversary to celebrate.

Emily provides a more in-depth answer while they all open their envelopes. "It's Penelope's annual Halloween party. Probably the biggest of the year."

Y/n admires Penelope's innovation as she looks at the invitation, designed to look like an ouija board with the details written in bold, black lettering.

"I thought Halloween was just an excuse to get drunk with your friends once you're older than sixte- twenty-one." She jokes.

Penelope walks in from behind her. "It is very much not, my dear. It's a night to get dressed up, celebrate all things spooky-"

"And drink wine." Emily cuts her off.

"And drink wine." She agrees.

"Actually, it's not." Spencer jumps in to correct them as they make their way to the conference room, following behind them. "The tradition originated..."

He keeps going until he eventually gets told by Hotch that it's time to focus on the case while JJ whispers to Y/n. "Every year he does this." She makes a mental note to ask for the full story and pay him undivided attention when they get home.

The case they get send on ends on the 30th, something Penelope says she's thankful for due to the amount of perishable food she's put in Rossi's fridge, and Hotch lets everyone go early on the 31st, softer than he pretends for Penelope's parties.

It gives Y/n and Spencer enough time to go to her apartment before they have to split to get ready and arrive at Rossi's separately. She makes a point to ask about the origins of Halloween, getting to hear his little speech in the forty-five it takes to get home.

Once they're home and fed, a quick nap with cuddles is all they need. They're two luxuries they can't afford while working a case. They both stayed true to the rule about not sneaking into each other's hotel rooms, not that it hasn't been incredibly difficult.

Spencer always holds her close, tucking his head on top of hers and wrapping his arms tightly around her. Eventually, they shower together after some distractions. Then it's time for Y/n to start the long process of putting her costume on perfectly.

"What did you decide?" She asks Spencer, who's watching her from where he's sitting on her bed.

He's fussy about what he decides on, taking the day, in her opinion, a little too seriously. But allegedly, there are prizes for best dressed, and he doesn't want to lose to Morgan again, just because Morgan dressed- inaccurately, Spencer would argue- as a firefighter with his shirt off. She didn't tell her pouting boyfriend when he first told the story, but she supports Penelope's decision.

"He's a villain," Spencer tells her.

"Good." She agrees. "Keeping in line with our theme."

He nods. "I figure, if we can't do a couples costume, we might as well be in the same category."

"Oh my gosh." She laughs just at the thought of her idea. "Are you going dressed as Voldemort?"

"Y/n, you can't say his name." He chastises playfully. "But, no."

He's quiet after that, and she turns back to glare at him once she's put her underwear on. He's watching, admiring the view of his barely dressed girlfriend.

"What, you're not going to tell me?" She asks, jutting out her bottom lip for maximum effect.

"No, you're too annoying." He jokes, smirking. He never knew how fun it would be to have someone he can have repartee with, knowing he will never be judged for being himself.

Y/n knows how to get him talking, and she narrows her eyes as she walks over seductively. She throws her leg over his lap, straddling him as he gulps, repeating a mantra in his head about not giving in.

"Wanna tell me now?" She offers, hands running over his bare chest, thankful he left his dress shirt abandoned on the floor.

He shakes his head. "Not really." He braves touching her, stroking over the green lace of the cups of her bra. "This is cute."

When he goes to take it off, figuring they have enough time, she stops him. "Baby, not happening until you tell me."

"You'll see it in a couple of hours anyway." He whines, needy, hard in his pants and rutting up into her again. "But we might have to do it at Rossi's because you're going to struggle to keep it in your pants until we get home."

She scoffs, reaching down to palm his prominent bulge. "I'm not going to be able to keep it in my pants?"

Spencer groans a little, pushing her head forward so he can whisper against her ear. "It's a suit." He knows her weak spot. What he wears every day, his cute dress shirts and cardigans, don't compare to how hot he looks dressed in a suit. "With a tie tied properly." He adds. "Does that get you hot?"

The grin on his face is bold as he looks down at his lap, where she's rolling her hips against his unintentionally. "Nope." She lies. "Just teasing you."

"Mm, sure." He hums, leaning closer so he can kiss her. He keeps it quick, committed to not slipping up and fucking her hard enough against the bed that she'll struggle to walk. Making out is a pipeline to that. "What are you wearing with this?" He asks, only because he knows her chosen villain has a lot of variation.

"That white dress shirt that you left here." She starts innocently. "Buttoned to here." She finishes, taking his hand and resting it just above the cups of the bra, hidden from everyone else except someone as tall as him.

He grins, thanking whoever is looking out for him in the universe. "So I'm going to get to see your tits all night?"

"No, you're my colleague, agent Reid. That would be inappropriate." She reminds him smugly.

He tugs her closer, kissing her roughly in a way that makes her head spin. "It's Doctor. And it's going to be more than inappropriate when I rip this off you as soon as we walk through the door."

"Let's hope we can sneak out early then." She decides, focusing on ignoring the tingle in her spin as she kisses him once more before getting off his lap.

Spencer's magnetism is intoxicating. There's nothing she can do to not be attracted to him. He sits there a little stunned, relishing in her pull.

"You need to get out of here so I can see you later." She reminds him.

"But I want to sit here forever." He complains, letting his head rest on his shoulder and shutting his eyes.

Y/n rolls her eyes, grabbing his hands and pulling him off the bed. "Get up, lover boy."

"Fine." He agrees, letting her drag him up before moving his hands down to squeeze her ass.

She has to practically yank his hands off, button his shirt, and push him out the door to get him to leave back to his apartment, but she wants her makeup to be a surprise.

Spencer goes back to his place to get into costume, tightening his tie and smearing fake blood on his raincoat. He grabs his axe, and he's ready to go, arriving before Y/n does and complimenting everyone else's costumes.

Penelope and Emily are an angel and a devil, respectively, and fittingly. Beth must have had to plead with Hotch, but it worked because they're dressed as Woody, Jessie, and Jack as Buzz. JJ's blonde hair perfectly matches her rapunzel outfit, Will by her side as Flynn Rider, and Henry makes the cutest chameleon as Pascal. Morgan went for a Fresh Prince-inspired outfit, pulling it off with comfort and swagger. Rossi selected clothing from the wardrobe he had as a youth, dressing as a member of the mob, which is really his excuse to have cigars.

The one person he doesn't see is the person he wants to see the most.

She gets there only a few moments later, greeted at the door by Penelope, who has taken over Rossi's house. "You look incredible." He hears Penelope squeal.

Y/n walks into the patio a few moments later, top unbuttoned as she promised it would be. He's hard- and trying to hide it- incredibly quickly.

She looks perfect, a purple blazer framing the white shirt of his with tight black shorts. Her makeup is most impressive, with bright red lipstick painted up her face in an overzealous smile, bold purple eyeshadow, filled-in green brows, and a big J under her left eye. Spencer's sure she could easily defeat Batman with just one look.

She grins at him in his suit, wondering why she hadn't guessed he would come dressed as Patrick Bateman. Hot. Very very hot. She resists the urge to grab him by his perfectly tied tie and pull him to a guest bedroom.

Once she's grabbed her wine with eyeballs, she makes a bee-line to stand next to him. Spencer noticeably looks down the front of his her shirt, checking that her tits were as perfect as he remembered them.

Her kick at his leg goes unseen by everyone else as the adults stand around the high circular table, wrapped up in their own chats. Spencer takes their temporary distractions to lean down and whisper into her ear. "So, what'd you think?"

"It's cute." She replies, breathing shallowly.

"Just like that green set that I'll be taking off you later," Spencer reminds her, keeping his voice low and breath against her skin.

She scoffs. "If you're lucky."

The wine and eventually shots go to both of their heads, and combined with the close proximity and burning need to touch each other, they're both close to breaking.

Spencer's stubborn, often to a fault, but when she excuses herself after dinner, he takes the opportunity and follows her through the house a few minutes later.

Y/n squeals in shock when she feels a hand wrapping around her arm and pulling her into a closet when she's on her way back out. It's Spencer which she knows from his cologne.

"What the fuck?" She asks, hitting him on the plastic raincoat covering his shoulder. There are no lights on, but she can feel the heat coming off him. "What is wrong with you? You scared me."

"Missed you too much." He says almost sweetly, nose touching hers. The innocence quickly gets taken over by something darker as his hands started traveling over the curve of her body. "Look so hot in this." He mumbles, lips only an inch from hers.

She's worse at controlling herself when they're close and alone, and in a second, her lips are pressed to his. Spencer kisses her back, slamming her into the wall firmly.

His tongue delves into her mouth, hands traveling to squeeze her tits while she pulls him closer with the hair at the base of his neck.

"Fucking love your hair like this." She hums against his lips, trying not to mess up the perfect, slicked-back look of his straightened, not curled, hair.

"It's my sex hair, that's why." He claims with a laugh before kissing her again. It's just as quick-paced as before, both of them desperate and eager, working with each other.

Before she can fully give in to the urge, and fuck him in the closet, she pulls away. "Wait, wait, we can't do this here." She reminds him.

Spencer nods, although he doesn't want to let go of her, have to go back out there, and socialize until it's been enough time for them to go home.

He takes his hands off her body, holding them up. "Okay, okay. You going first?"

"Yeah, probably should." She agrees, taking a moment to calm her breathing. "See you out there."

Emily gives her a bit of a weird look in the kitchen, which she shrugs off as she grabs some ice water to tamper down the heat in her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

Y/n nods. "Just got distracted."

It's when Spencer appears a minute later that she understands the fatal consequence of their makeout session.

Red lipstick.

Her red lipstick.

All over and around his lips. She might have been able to save it, shove him back into a bathroom to fix it, had every member of their team not walked in and witnessed the same thing. Dead silence spreads as quickly as the conclusion about what is happening does. The guilty look from Y/n only confirms the fact they had snuck away to make out.

"What?" Spencer asks, looking at each of them for an answer.

"You got a little something," Morgan tells him with a smirk, gesturing to his lips. Spencer scrambles to wipe it up after glancing at Y/n's missing lipstick, not that it helps at all.

"So you're the distraction." Emily jokes, nudging Y/n on the shoulder.

The surprise is evident on all of their faces, mixed with some excitement. "I did not see that coming," JJ admits, agreements coming from almost everyone.

"Really?" Beth asks, shocked by something else this time. "They have been practically..." She pauses to look behind her and make sure no kids are listening... "eye fucking each other all night. No offense, you guys." She's definitely had a bit to drink and it makes everyone laugh, even more, when she turns to Hotch to continue. "Are you even a profiler, Aaron?"

Will's claiming he saw the same thing to JJ as Beth teases Hotch and Morgan starts reminding Penelope of a conversation they had about who Y/n would end up dating on her first day at the BAU, Emily getting dragged in to authenticate.

With everyone occupied by conversations about them, Spencer sees his opportunity, "So we can just sneak out now, right?" He whispers into her ear.

"Yup." She agrees, taking his hand and pulling him away from the chaos they’d made.

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[bowowark]

SecurityWaiter headcanons cuz I’m invested

Also my headcanons also involve my Mike Emily / Mike is Henry’s son theory

All of this takes place after the movie

Ness was Mike’s gay awakening, before that he never had a relationship and always just assumed he was straight, even though he realized he never was attracted to women

Mike thought Ness was a bit of a weirdo at first

Mike and Ness met at Sparky’s and after Ness realized that Mike was involved in the whole Freddy’s incident, he invited Mike over to talk theories

While in Ness’s #theory basement (with the cork board and red string and everything) they got in an argument after Ness continued to bring up Henry Emily and insisted that he was apart of everything

Mike didn’t know that his father also worked with William afton (since it was after he left) and got very angry. Shouting that none of this was Ness’s business

One of Ness’s theories was that William was Mike’s dad LOL (Mike debunked that pretty quickly)

After arguing they did an enemy’s to lovers and fucking kissed because I said so

Afterwards Mike left and was pretty shaken up, he spent a few days contemplating if he was straight (spoiler he’s not)

After a bit Mike and Ness decided to meet up again and just act like nothing happened but uh oh suddenly Mike has feelings

Ness INSISTS on calling Mike cute nick names (Mikey, M&M, sweetheart, corny stuff like that) and INSISTS on Mike calling him nicknames too (He really likes Nessy) but Mike never does, he just sticks with “babe”

Most people around them have no idea why their together, they are complete opposites, but they work off of each other well

Though it doesn’t really seem like it, Ness has struggled with mental health problems all his life, he was the one who told Mike to see a therapist

Ness’s full name is Ness Patrick (a nod to matpat)

Ness is one of the corniest people ever, but Mike finds it endearing and charming

Ness of course helps with taking care of Abby, and he’s her favorite baby sitter (aside from Vanessa)

Ness’s dream is to be on broadway

I don’t have many other headcanons but I thought these were cute

[a-little-bit-of-ships-in-my-life]

No but like, i'm still so confused by Vanessa being Afton's daughter. At it is, it's a great plot twist and it adds a lot of substance to the story.

Yet, i'm so confused because it really looks like Mike is in fact, William's son. There was a lot of things set for it. Like for example:

• William reading Mike's name and stopping mid sentence and realizing something. You could say that what he realized was that this kid was the brother of one of his victims. Yet, in the next second he starts to set him up to work in the pizzeria. Like, why? He wants him near. Plus, why does he want to kill Abby too? He just decided to fuck this man life *twice* without a reason?

• Why he keeps calling him "Michael", like. Yeah, it's his name as it was stated before in the interview. But, no one else calls him by "Michael", just "Mike". If i'm not mistaking, even Aunt Jane calls him by it. Why is he insisting in calling him Michael.

• In the dream sequence, when Cassidy (¿) makes him give up Abby, his mother and Garrett are the only one speaking. But his father is silence, he doesn't even say anything, react to it. In fact, the "My mother died and my father couldn't deal with it" feels so weird. His father just walked away? Why is his father so minus in this movie.

• Mike having a younger sister and brother just like Michael Afton has Elizabeth and Evan. (And Abby being a nickname for Elizabeth, like, c'mon, that's so obvious, what the fuck.)

I think that there is something more, a lot more. Maybe in the novels based in the movie, or maybe in a new movie it would be explained, because it feels like there was a whole hole dug up ready to be filled for later. So, i have two theories.

• The delulu one: Mike is in fact, an Afton. His mother just divorced William and got custody of him, went away and she married Garret and Abby's dad. In this way, that's why William is so focused on killing his son's step-siblings due to rage and revenge. This too, would somehow explain Vanessa. She is either Afton biological daughter too, or instead, she was kidnapped and raised by him to fill a void left by the divorce, and thus, unable to actually fill that feeling, he blames her and decided to start killing kids.

• The most probably one: Mike isn't an Afton, but he's Emily. He's Henry son and, in that way, William is so focused on making him suffer, just out of pure hate for his father.

• Vanessa is not an Afton. She was kidnapped and/or raised by William from a young age but she's actually an Emily.

Either way, i feel there is something, something because i still can't figure it out, for the life of me, why William reacted that way when he read Mike's full name. It doesn't make sense if he was like "oh, the brother of that one kid". It was more like "oh, *oh*"

Hear me out, maybe i actually figure it out, or maybe i'm in such state of denial that i refuse vehemently to think that Mike Schmidt isn't Michael Afton.

[pluralthey]

is there a good place to start if we want to learn about idletry? im very interested in the story and all the bits and pieces revealed so far but i dont know if youve like, stated the basics both about the characters-in-story and how you’re releasing the comic

hi there. unfortunately, idletry became a passion project very abruptly and many details were added very quickly without regard for how long the project would take. once i did realize how large the project was, i decided that i would not even kid myself on the idea of holding in spoilers for the next 5 years, and those two factors combined make the information available very chaotic and slapdash -- somewhat intentionally.

i don't even have the comics tagged separately for easier access among the idletry content -- although, i could go back and give them a separate tag.

i can summarize the story and say that it's about a funny little talking honey badger/tasmanian devil named jessie gaylord who has for the last 10 years of her life been on heavy psychiatric medication in an attempt to mitigate a pervasive delusion that the world is a fictional story. she also has a notorious aggressive streak. these medications work primarily by leaving her so tired that she sleeps most of the time.

the story begins when her medical team has run out of typical medications to try, and they must order an older, more aggressive type of drug which is not commonly used anymore, and has a lengthier process to manufacturing and approving the drug. during this time, she is not on any medication, and she becomes more urgently fixated on convincing people that the delusion is true.

she ends up attempting to contact the writer, who is referred to as God, and she receives a response. she immediately attempts to write the story herself, and she's granted the ability to do anything within the story so long as she can write it out. (the intricacies and limitations of this power have been elaborated upon in a bunch of fragmentary posts, so i won't try to condense it here)

at the end of the first act, she kills the first writer and becomes the new God of her world. the rest of the story is about what she does after acquiring omnipotence, and it heavily features a character named fate -- or shiloh, as jessie calls her -- with whom she enters an intimate relationship.

she has a happy loving family composed of a father named adam, a mother named evelyn, and an older sister named emily. there is a later minor subplot about a cult following who worships her after she becomes God, and this cult is initially organized by an ant called samanthuel -- or samwich, as jessie calls them. these are usually the other characters i mention and i am too lazy to link them right now

the comic itself is currently being written. the script stands at around 51,000 words at the time of writing this as i work on the second act. after it's written, i will let it simmer for a few months and then write a second draft to start to relieve the story of its bloat. depending on its length at that point, i will either need to write a third draft, or i will start drawing the comic.

chances are, during the second draft, i will start to thumbnail or sketch scenes which receive little to no editing, as i know they will likely remain relatively unchanged even through multiple drafts.

the sketch strips are to tide me and an eager audience over in the meantime, but they've sort of dried up as i focus all of my attention on finishing the first draft and taking care of a puppy that was kind of just forced onto me.

i've made a couple of full-length comics before and they have taken years. it is, unfortunately, just the nature of the process. for idletry, i plan to self-publish the comic. i've never published something in print before, so that is the most daunting part for me.

the plan at the moment is to crowdfund this, but, to be frank with you, i no longer pay rent, and i care very much about having this comic as a printed book. i have no issue with paying the cost of printing out of my own pocket by the time it's done and am even anticipating that outcome ahead of time, despite having a pretty reliable audience by now.

i'm on the fence about releasing a digital book version, as i very much want to retain digital color versions of the pages that are more vibrant, but due to the explicit adult content of the story, i don't want it to be free-access.

tl;dr: it's about a lesbian incel with anger issues who's given omnipotence.

i'm still working on the story because i want it to be good.

i'm planning on printing it as a physical comic book once it's done.

[kayrockerqog]

Shane Stardew Valley 🐔

(Gladly!)

Shane Headcanons (Stardew Valley)

I personally refuse to believe he and Emily aren't at least a little friendly with each other, considering how often Shane is at the saloon. They seem like the type of friends that don't seem super close but who actually know each other really well just because of their frequent proximity-- like I imagine this to be the case with nearly everyone in Pelican Town and Emily, but in Shane case, it's really sweet. She would be happy to see him happy, I think.

Shane has names for all of the chickens at the ranch, naturally, just look at Charlie, but I think he's the type to have a naming system similar to that of a kindergarten class. Like every single chicken is given a "John Smith" type average Joe name, both because they're easy to remember, and that he just likes the names.

He hits like the type of person to collect the pop tabs after finishing a beer, whether he realizes or not, and by the time he's sobered up, he has SO MANY POP TABS, like at least a few jars full.

Additionally, I imagine he learns how to make pop tab jewellery with Jas, and they have matching friendship bracelets.

Going off his Joja commercial cutscene, there is no way that man doesn't have an inner catalogue of product jingles and slogans burned into his brain. He knows ALL of them. At one point during him and the Farmer's friendship, he ends up mumbling the State Farm catchphrase to himself, but its "like a good neighbor, the farmer is there" and the Farmer just ❕❔

He has the heat resistance of a lava golem, given he loves spicy foods and vegetables, and he's given the younger bachelors/bachelorettes psychic damage by eating ghost peppers and the like without breaking a sweat. Sebastian is still traumatized. (/lh)

Shane does not understand modern lingo. He overheard Sam talking about hitting the gritty and he felt himself age several decades on the spot.

He's a shockingly fast runner, but only when he's motivated. And typically, that motivation is his temper. Piss him off, and you'd BETTER hope you have a good hiding spot, because you are NOT outrunning that man in a rage.

[freshcuntgrass]

An unflattering assumption I have about every NPC in Stardew Valley

Sam: gave Gus a fake ID to get alcohol. Jodi never goes to the saloon and Kent is afraid he forgot how old Sam is, so he's never getting called on it

Sebastian: has ruined at least one online D&D group playing an edgy lone-wolf rogue with no parents

Maru: still brings up her SAT score in conversation sometimes

Demetrius: has the Neil deGrasse Tyson thing going where he assumes every field is easy because he's good at biology. Maru finds this endearing with her gadgets; he is banned from looking at Sebastian's code

Wizard: same as Demetrius but ten times worse

Robin: first marriage ended because she slept with the wizard (Sebastian is his). What can I say, she likes em brilliant, socially awkward, and just a little insufferable

Clint: you KNOW this man's on Reddit and you KNOW he does not have a healthy relationship with it. I am begging Sebastian to "fix some tech problems for him" (install a secret browser extension block on the manosphere subreddits)

Elliott: hair-trigger crier. Poems, books, the end of every rom-com, songs you do not think it should be possible to cry during, noticed the cat sleeping in a really cute way, remembers that he lives near the ocean... honestly he'd have a lot more written by now if his entire day wasn't taken up by crying and hair care

Willy: has lived alone too long, holds conversations with most objects in his house

Leah: has NEVER swept or mopped the floor of that cabin. You can't see it in the pixel art but it's a biohazard

Pierre: Twitter power-user, unironically calls it X

Caroline: doing her own research on the COVID vaccine

Haley: Swiftie

Penny: even bigger Swiftie

Abigail: Homestuck

Alex: media literacy so bad he doesn't realize the insane homoeroticism of Top Gun

Harvey: terrified that someone in town will look closer at the degree on his wall and realize he's technically an RN, not a doctor, and then it'll just be awkward

Lewis: that truffle oil was for pegging

Evelyn: "secret family recipe" is boxed chocolate cake mix with mayonnaise instead of the oil

George: Hey... um... hey guys? Where was George on January 6th?

Pam: Hey guys, where was Pam on January 6th???

Gus: definitely drunk behind that bar most of the time. He gets away with it because it comes across as "jolly"

Linus: can't go back to Zuzu City. He knows what he did

Jodi: biggest Swiftie of them all. She name-searches. Yes, she's still on Tumblr. Hi Jodi, your fave is mid, looking forward to the anon hate :)

Kent: agrees with Alex that Top Gun isn't gay. Nothing's gay in the military

Sandy: unreal amount of mobile gaming going on back behind that counter. stop sending me Farmville requests

Marnie: actually accepts Sandy's Farmville requests. Keeps texting Shane minion memes

Shane: the real unflattering assumption with Shane is when you correctly clock a fellow Stardew Valley player as a Shane girlie. In our defense, he's going through a lot and we can fix him.

Krobus: eats those void eggs raw. Cracks the shell and drinks em. Slurp slurp bitch

Dwarf: honestly HUGE drug dealer vibes. Miner's Treat has got to be the dwarves' version of cocaine, right?

Vincent and Jas: safe for now, I don't roast anybody under 12. once we hit like year 5 I'm coming for you though

Emily: wants to reblog this but can't. her queue is full and she's hit post limit

[dxrkvibez]

i guess these can be head canons? but it’s more just explaining how i see henry and william, or what it would be in my au

-henry is gay. like, 100% full on, into men. however, he grew up in utah. in the 40s/50s. as a mormon. there was never a chance he ever thought it would be okay to act on that.

-i’m struggling between making william a very hyper sexual person (he’ll sleep with anyone that even looks at him)

OR

he’s very demisexual and only really feels intense physical/sexual/emotional attraction to someone when he loves them. he comes off very sexual to hide this fact.

-henry married his wife due to it kind of being what he had to do. he didn’t have any other choice. one of the reasons they fought so much (and why she ended up leaving) was her feeling like henry had no interest in her. honestly his life was easier when she did leave though because he didn’t have to worry about it anymore, and he got his kids

- william and clara were high school sweethearts. not completely. they met senior year and married the year after that, then had michael the same year. (i’d say 19-20ish?). he loved her. adored her.

-henry developed feelings for william first. and it was fast. bro just looked at william and went ‘yup. that’s the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.’

-william liked henry. he didn’t realize it was any romantic or sexual feelings, up until clara left. then it hit him hard. not only was henry there to help him. but wow has he always been this hot?

-i feel like the two really got close when both of their wives left. they were friends before, but nothing else really happened until they were both single.

-in my delusions i like to think everyone turned out happy and william and henry are married raising their kids together and everyone is happy :)

-michael also went to henry first when he started dating jeremy. there’s times he feels closer to him then william (which does that really surprise anyone? no)

- all their names are abbreviated afton-emily. william INSISTED his had to come first. and henry really didn’t care anyways.

[aurorialwolf]

SO! Next installment of my series of posts detailing the ocs I made up for the next gen of redacted characters (aka the kids of redacted characters) At the time of writing this, the dynamic of Samuel Jr. and Adrian is winning on the poll I posted! Samuel Jr. is the kid of Sam & Darlin in my AU-ish thing, and Adrian is the son of Alexis Getty! Link to my in-detail info dump about Samuel: https://www.tumblr.com/aurorialwolf/757447421698654208/yall-ever-heard-of-epigenetics-okay-mildly?source=share Cutoff so that it doesnt make a super long post on ppls dashes

For starters, I am going to write out what I think needs to be known about Adrian for all this to hit home properly, I may make a longer post about him if I feel this doesn't cover it but thats for later - Full name: Adrian Getty - Ranking in the House: Duke - Son of Alexis Getty, he is the result of a fling between her and a man from another clan (this makes him literally an official bastard) - He vehemently dislikes his mother, as they have a very unhealthy relationship, considering how, like Samuel, he was turned by his own blood (except fully), and therefore, Alexis counts as his maker, and invokes him as a disciplinary measure. William has not stopped this, because he is unaware. - I have anon asks off so if u really love Alexis im sorry but u cant yell at me for this - He is a guard for Emily Solaire, daughter of William Solaire, mostly as a formality, and to give him a purpose within the clan. Now! Onto the actual dynamic Imagine that your child, and your ex's child, meet each other, and decide to continue your feud. That's how it feels for poor ol' Sam. Samuel and Adrian hate each other. Sort of. Adrian hates Samuel, but Samuel thinks it's really funny.

- They take turns provoking each other, and end up trying to beat each other up.. in front of multiple vampiric nobles.. not a great look for their parents - It's kind of gay? hear me out- - Samuel flirts a lot with Adrian, provoking him into sparring - Adrian is like.. definitely gay but has majorly repressed it, bro is in denial (mainly bc he assumes Alexis won't accept him, and will just harm him further for it :(( ) - Samuel is trying to help him? Probably. but also who wouldn't want to provoke their attractive vampire rival - Ok but he really is trying to help - After a while of meeting up at events, they finally hang around outside of official vampire territory, and mostly just spar, but sometimes talk! like normal folks - One day, after Samuel undergoes some p r e t t y b a d t r a u m a, he's all bandaged up, and Adrian shows up to spar, but decides to leave him to rest, despite Samuel's protests that he's still capable - At their next match, he goes way easier on Samuel, which leads Samuel to question him, saying that he's recovered now - Turns out, seeing him injured made Adrian realize he actually does care about Samuel's wellbeing, and they agree to a truce, deciding to not fight literally every time they see each other - They become friends! And they confide in each other about their problems, creating a really strong bond - They still definitely enjoy fighting though, since they are at about an equal level, making it a fun challenge - Before they became friends, whenever Samuel would show up somewhere (at like a Solaire event or sm) with Vivienne after they'd gotten some kind of treat (slushie etc) Samuel would bring him a lemon snack, and lemon is Adrian's favourite flavour :3 obviously Adrian pretends to be pissed off but he really does appreciate it Now how do their parents feel? Alexis hates everything about them hanging around each other. She repeatedly invokes Adrian to stay away from him and push him away, but Samuel finds a way around the invokation, using their blood bond (yes theyre blood bonded ooooh) to skirt around it Sam? He's kind of unsure at first, and doesn't really trust Adrian, but he warms up to it, and supports Adrian whenever he comes to their house for help or just to hang around. He makes Samuel and Adrian hot cocoa when it's cold out :3 and he's happy that his son is helping Adrian out, even if they had initially been fighting because of their parents' feud. Also both of them do notttt like the fact that their kids flirt given their previous relationship and how it ended,, Sam is worried it'll spiral into a similarly toxic situation and it just pisses Alexis off So yeah :3 Samuel and Adrian are actually really close, but it takes a couple years for them to get that way This really does sound like some rivals to lovers stuff huh hfgjksdhgks Taglist: @vegafan69 @darlin-collins @kxemii @professionallyyappin @sereh624