#I really am sorry in advance

[smileweakandwrong]

IWRY Ch 23 🫣

[lightbulb-warning]

today i offer you prompts 11-20 for isat month!! ignore your calendar THANKYUUUU <3

[sunflowerpieivan]

Now Russia got colours too~

I like his layered coat, I was thinking that it would be funny if actually he had third layer hidden under this two layers and it would be shorter and thin like the top layer. Well, probably it’s pretty easy to tell that I like hidden details that are there and maybe they are even pretty cool, but probably no one ever will see them.

I didn’t took any specific jellyfishes for this, but I have pretty strong ascension between Russia and aurelia jellyfishes so I took them as some sort of reference/inspiration to be honest.

And I don’t have any alternative colours this time and also screenshots still eat quality, so I want to show little close up

[sly-s-n0nfusion]

You Tumblr people don't know but I plan to open a shop!! :D 🎉

I will post a proper thing (and the link to the preorders) as soon as I find out how to do that and I finish the last 2 bookmarks designs, it's gonna be these octopath acrylic charms + some other stuff such as prints :)

But yay finally I will be able to produce my own merch 🥰❤️💛💚💙

[front-facing-pokemon]

[vynnyal]

This is likely the hardest I've laughed in rain world yet. Basically, you can glitch a spear into a quantum state using a dead bat body, allowing stabbed enemies to follow you through tunnels. So I tried bringing a leviathan to Moon. And the game really, really didn't like that

[otter-pup]

hi. stay alive. please

[hoshiina]

pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)

request: is this how you request something? ive been using tumblr for just a couple of days and im not used to anything ...i hope this is okay!

could i request a hyoga x gn reader? where reader is kind of blunt and direct with the things they say and end up confessing to hyoga while training with him out of an accident; like they say "this is why i like you!" and then they get really embarrassed about it, however, they dont deny anything and wait for hyoga's response.

if the term handsome could be used to describe reader i would really appreciate it. have a nice day!!! i absolutely fell in love with how you write this man

warnings: it’s very short, hyoga is sweet again, reader is referred to as handsome

While you were never one to beat around the bush— you didn’t really see a point in it— even you would admit that this was not how you planned to share your feelings with him.

It was truly like any other day, you were forcing him to train with you and through all his complaints of how he wished to train alone and how he wished you would leave him alone, he would always help you. His excuse was always that he had to make sure you weren’t going to hold him back when we have to fight, but you knew he was worried about you and the rest of the village deep down and wished for more people who were capable of fighting. However harsh his words may be, his actions always spoke louder than his words. He was strict and hard when you were sparring, but when he was demonstrating better form for certain moves, he was surprisingly gentle.

It was very obvious that he respected you very much, even if he would never say so ever.

So while others wondered why such a handsome individual as yourself, with so many people eager to get a chance to talk to you, would be so invested in talking to Hyoga of all people, it was because you knew he was not as cold and ruthless as everyone thought he was. Deep inside you were aware he cared for many, even if not everyone.

Today he went on again about how your form was very unproper and how you had blind spots everywhere, putting yourself in complete danger depending on the situation. This was not out of the ordinary, but today you were a little curious how he’d respond if you teased him a little.

“You’re quite sweet aren’t you, Hyoga,” you said.

Immediately, he paused and frowned a little.

“How could you possibly have come to that conclusion?” he asked, scoldingly.

“You may not think so, but it’s rather obvious that you do care,” you said.

“I think you’re rather delusional if anything. I’m just worried you’re not going to last minutes against any modern weapon. As of now I do not wish to imagine what’d happen if you’re against a gun of any sort,” he said, rambling on about potential dangers that you would be utterly unprepared for and it only put a smile to your face. You truly didn’t mean to say it out loud, but this was exactly why you loved him— he cares a lot.

“This is why I like you,” you said, before you could stop the words from spilling out. You were going to make something up and deny the fact, until you saw how caught off guard Hyoga looked. You had never seen him look like that ever.

So instead you stopped and looked at him, absolutely nervous, but serious. After what seemed like forever, he finally said something.

“I don’t understand, why do you like me?” he asked, confused what prompted that statement.

“Oh, because you care,” you said. “You’re sweet.”

His eyes widened and a slight smile, hardly visible, but definitely there, appeared on his face. Never in his life would he have thought you could tell his harsh words came from a place of genuine care. However, he could tell that you had slightly the wrong idea, so he had to make it clear.

“I only care about you,” he said.

[writingsfromhome]

The Ex-Text

Epilogue: what’s next

A/N: this isn’t so much an epilogue than a part two but it just fit better to call it one lol. But it’s the final instalment in the Ex-Text so make sure you read the first two. As always, ty for reading this far <3

Prologue (text) / Main (ex) / Epilogue (what’s next)

—————————

It was a bit of a wet morning but I was determined to have a good day. And it’s like the world listened because by the time I got my morning coffee the sun had decided to kiss my skin hello. It was a Friday, I had a weekend of bachelorette festivities—our last girls weekend before Taz officially married next weekend. And I was going to a job I loved after changing roles last year, and getting promoted to the position I’d been chasing after.

It had been a year and 7 months since the night I decided to change. It wasn’t linear by any means but I had a better sense of who I was and what I wanted nowadays. I stuck up for myself, and felt less end-of-the-world if someone didn’t like me. I wasn’t perfect all the time, but things were better.

I’m so excited for tomorrow, I read Taz’s text in the lift up. I’d set up a spa day for the bridesmaids, and then a potentially rowdy evening across a few bars with a scavenger hunt. As the maid of honour I took my duties very seriously. I was friends with most of the invitees either from childhood or through Taz—there were a handful of girls from high school that Taz and I were friends with who I hadn’t seen in a while. It was going to be an interesting weekend.

***

“So YN,” Taz’s cousin slides in beside me wiggling her phone. This was our second pub on the list and she had the lead for the scavenger hunt by two. The group had enough drinks that everyone was loud and comfortable even though not everyone knew each other well. “How far along are you?”

“I’m not playing,” I made the game. I tell her that.

“Oh c’mon!” She looks at the girls sitting near us. “You’re just trying to get out of some of these! Like kiss a stranger, or find a way to write your number on someone’s arm? You’re cheeky with these—find someone to do a musical number with—“

“That’s how I know I’m not winning the hunt,” Felicity says. “I’m shite at dancing.”

“No you was so good back in school,” Taz giggles as she catches up. “Dots was even better, remember when she went with that wanker to the year 11 dance and oh what was his name-“

“I heard my name,” Dots pokes her head through. “You lot are loud.”

“Have you heard them?” Taz’s cousin points to the other end of the table. Someone’s getting a shot poured directly into their mouth.

“Taz are you participating in the hunt?” Felicity waves her phone that has the app pulled up.

“I’m getting married in a week so…only the PG ones.”

“No one’s going to say anything if you do number 7,” Dots winks. I smile uncomfortably, remembering the grip the peer pressure these girls had in high school that lead me to some pretty bad decisions.

“Taz is too much of an angel to do anything like that,” I try to swoop in for her.

“Then you should do it for her.” Dots says, her eyes alight with mischief. “Since you’re not playing. That way the bride-to-be has a chance to win.”

“Yeah!” Felicity jumps right into the plan eagerly. “It’s not like you’re dating someone right?”

“I…”

“I don’t need to win that bad,” Taz tries to come to my rescue but the plan is too enticing for these girls.

“Oh yeah YN you never got back on the horse after…Ethan?” Taz’s cousin mouths the word like he was going to appear if she said it too loud.

“No it’s…” I’m tempted to lie. To look good. Everyone leans in to hear the end of my sentence and I blurt out. “It’s complicated.”

“Ooh what’s that mean?” They move in closer and I feel crushed. I avoid Taz’s eye, she knew I hadn’t dated in forever. Not for lack of wanting, but I found opening myself up to new people was more exhausting than it used to be. Being in one long term relationship after the other, then taking a huge break, now dating felt like learning to walk again.

“Um,” I try to backtrack on the lie. “It’s just complicated but technically I’m not dating someone right now!”

“Wait so you’re not bringing a plus one to the wedding?” Someone asks.

“Well I-“

“You should invite the guy! If he comes you know he’s serious and if he doesn’t…”

“Yeah!” Felicity grabs my arm. “Invite him! I want to see Ethan’s rebound that manwhore.”

“It’s not really a rebound when it’s been years,” Taz says. I agree, but I’m also touched by the vehemence in Fel’s voice when she talks about Ethan.

“Well screw the guy. If he’s complicated, you can kiss anyone you want at any bar you want. So?”

“YN,” Taz’s murmur catches my attention. She shoots me a warning, I had to put my foot down. Not give in because I wanted to please. I should but with this many eyes on me I chicken out.

“Fine. But maybe pick number 7 at the next bar, this group looks uni aged.” I feel Taz’s disappointment beside me.

“So? I had a thing with a 21 year old last summer,” Fels shrugs.

“Ew. Didn’t you feel like his mother?” Taz asks and I laugh, a bit of the pent up energy releasing with it.

“No, he was a big boy. He knew how to take care of himself.” She grins. The topic shifts to her and I think I’m forgotten until the hour hits and we decide to move places.

“Okay YN I know you’ve mapped this all out but if we’re trying to get you a good number 7 I know a better place where I used to live. Last summer actually.” Felicity links her arm through mine as we walk out.

“We know how well that went,” Taz’s cousin teases.

“Exactly! May I? Girls! Change of location on the third cuz Taz has to win tonight-“

“I really don’t want the gift card that badly.” Taz says but it’s drowned out by everyone cheering. God we were all well on our way to drunk.

***

“That one,” someone whispers to me. She points to a tall blonde with a cardigan on.

“Mmm too bookish,” someone else says. Somehow the whole group was debriefed on the way over that I was to have the most epic kiss with a stranger for Taz’s sake. Because even though she had three other missing items on her list, doing this would make her win.

“Well that creep over there just bought me shots,” Taz slurs. We look to where she points, it’s a guy who had been a potential kisser. The group crosses him out as well as the line item on her list. Now she was down to 2 to win.

Felicity had led us to her old local area, one I hadn’t spent much time in but sounded familiar. Even though I’d planned the pub crawl to the detail I had to let go of the control and go with the crowd.

“Okay YN you have to do this now,” Dot says. “You can kill two birds, then Taz is free to win.”

“Doesn’t anyone else want to win?” I ask pathetically.

“No!” The group encourages me. “You need this too YN!”

“Him,” Fels points to a guy sitting at the bar. He’s talking with the bartender who’s laughing at whatever he’s saying. “Look, he’s funny and nice enough to talk to the bartender. He’ll give you a nice smooch.” She kisses my cheek with this statement.

“Oh he’s cute,” Taz says and I glare at her.

“You can’t even see his face.” I tell her.

“Yeah but his hair is nice,” she rubs my cheek where Felicity kissed me. “And his shirt stretches nicely over-“

“Okay bride-to-be,” she was such a traitor.

“What? A girl can’t look?” Taz asks. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and leans in. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” but with all these girls waiting on me to I didn’t have another choice. I just had to get over it. Plus I hadn’t kissed someone in over a year so I wasn’t complaining if he was cute. And Taz was right, from the back he was cute. “Fine.”

I step away from the crowd and they all gasp. They get ready for the show and so do I. I clear my throat, push my shoulders back—my cleavage looked great in this dress so I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt, and head over. My stomach drops with nerves but I take a deep breath and tap the bloke on the shoulder.

My lungs deflate like a released balloon when the face looking back at me is Harry. Harry the ex-texter.

He blinks, then blinks some more. Meanwhile I stand there staring.

“YN!?” Harry turns the barstool to face me. His neck must’ve started cramping.

“I-uh,” I glance back at the girls and they’re all pretending not to stare but it’s a bad attempt. They’re staring.

“It’s you-I-“ Harry stands up, it seems like he was going in for a hug but he thinks better of it almost immediately. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi,” I say lamely. I feel the shame of the last time we spoke. That YN feels like someone else. Someone people manipulated easily. Like him.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he laughs nervously and his eyes roam up and down my body. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks back. “I think there’s a massive group of women there staring at us? Have you rounded up a gang to kick my-“

“Ignore them,” I quickly take a seat beside where he was sitting. He takes one last glance at them and sits back down.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No no,” my mind is occupied. I couldn’t kiss him. This was the worst person in the world to have picked, why was he here damnit?

Then I remember why this area was familiar to me. His address was only a street or so over, this is close to where I’d picked him up that day.

“Actually, I’ll do a a vodka soda.”

He orders for me while I try to sort out my thoughts.

“So are you in a cult? Am I some sort of blood sacrifice?” Harry throws another glance over his shoulder.

I finally look at him. He looked good, of course he did. He’d decided to do something about those razor blades—he’d thrown them out; he sports a mustache and stubble. His hair is styled, nicer than it was when I met him. His eyes are murky waters and I don’t look at them too long. I spot the gym bag by his feet, so that’s why his shirt fit so well…

Omg.

“Actually,” I consider what he’d just said. “You’re not too far off.”

“Wait really?” His eyes bug out. “You’re joking.”

“Well the cult is actually a bridal party,” I say. “And the blood sacrifice is a number on our scavenger hunt.”

“Oh,” it dawns on him. “I’m fresh blood. You already have my number, wait is that why you came up to me?”

“No I actually didn’t even know it was you,” I say honestly. “They picked you out from the crowd.”

“Really?” Harry looks back, now intrigued that this group of women found him fit enough to pick out.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” I roll my eyes. My drink had landed in front of me so I take a sip.

“Well? You have my number right?” When I just nod he laughs. “Wait. You need something more.”

“Well obviously I’m going to lose this scavenger hunt,” I scowl. “Don’t worry.”

He chuckles and looks to the front, meanwhile I try not to squirm. Being around him wasn’t the best feeling, especially on my way to drunk. I felt hot with embarrassment and yet the intrigue of who he really was still stayed with me. And it stays because even now, despite not trusting him or liking him very much I felt like I had room to just be myself. He was an easy presence despite his baggage. Or maybe because of it.

It seems we were good at silences because we drink without saying a word. It’s like our brains are catching up to our sudden run-in.

“How have you been?” Harry asks quietly.

Fine, I’m going to say automatically. But I answer truthfully. “Alright. Life’s been better but also nobody’s tricked me into going to a cheating ex’s wedding so life’s been a lot worse!”

He laughs awkwardly and clinks his bottle against my glass. “Yeah. I deserve that.”

“Yeah. How about you?”

“Better. A lot better.”

“Good to hear,” I say genuinely. Despite my grievances it was nice to hear he was past whatever he’d been in when we first met.

“I think about you often,” he says while still looking forward. Oh god this felt like being in a car with him. I turn my body towards him and tap my knee against his. He looks at me, like we’re having an actual conversation. “I do. About what I did to you…I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you’ve said.”

“Yeah,” he grimaces. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily. Being manipulated and lied to like that still stung. It was rock bottom for me in a way. “I was a dick. I’m deeply sorry and I’ve thought about how to make it up to you but I thought I should just stop texting you ever. Trust me that was rock bottom for me and you didn’t deserve to be dragged down with me.”

I try not to look surprised when he says it was his rock bottom, like I was thinking seconds earlier.

“You got one thing right,” I tap at his phone. I wasn’t going to tell him I forgave him, or that I understood even though I did. I didn’t like him very much, I didn’t trust him, but I knew he was sorry when he said it.

I remember the wedding—there was something I wanted to apologize for, “Well now that we’re unloading apologies, I am actually sorry for uhm, slapping you that night? That’s not me. And I don’t know where it came from! I feel bad about that.”

His laugh is quiet, to himself. “You shouldn’t be apologizing for anything. Anything at all YN.”

God, the way he says my name is addictive. He said it like everyone else, but in his voice…

“I know. But that crossed a line…”

“Nah don’t worry. Plus I don’t mind when a woman slaps me around a little,” his face splits into a grin when I give him the reaction he was looking for.

“Harry,” I scold. “You’re teaching children with that mouth?”

“That’s why I’m quitting.”

“You’re quitting!?”

“Yep. Phase 3 of my plan, to live the life I want. I’m finishing the school year and looking for a job in my field over the summer.”

“Wow,” I was impressed. “Wow Harry. Good luck with that.”

“Yeah I’ll need it thanks.” The way he looks at me makes me nervous. I think I’ve been single a bit too long. And right on cue he asks: “So YN how about you? Are you still doing your single thing?”

“I feel like you’re still talking about it like you don’t believe in it,” I tell myself to calm down every time he says my name.

“No I-“ he plays with his bottle. “I believe you. I’ve tried it, it’s been good for me. But I started dating again this year and I found I really love that too.”

“Yeah?” I ask him more about it. He tells me he’s dating knowing what he wants now. What kind of woman he’s looking for.

I felt like focusing on myself has helped me with that too. The only issue is I was finding it hard to open myself up to men again.

“I haven’t been dating much,” at all. “But I’m open to it now.”

“Show anyone your mean side lately?” He jokes but in there is a serious question.

“That’s only reserved for you,” I say, then realize how flirty it sounds and clamp down on my tongue. Maybe I should stop drinking. I didn’t even know Harry very well. But when I peek a glance he looks flushed.

I liked this version of Harry better. I wonder if he was like this before, before he had his heart broken, or even before he started dating Vanessa. But I don’t tell him that, I didn’t want him to think we were friends or anything.

We fall into silence again, not an uncomfortable one though. I look at him, he looked the same but different. Like a change had taken place underneath the surface. I imagine he’s studying me the same way. He smiles and I return it.

A body pushing into the side of me interrupts us. Dots is there with Taz and they wave the bartender down for a drink even though they could’ve ordered from the table. I roll my eyes and turn to them.

“Hi,” I look between them. Dots looks mischievous as usual and Taz seems curious.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us YN?” Dots asks.

“Oh, this is Harry,” I eye Taz when I say it. She’s a bit slow but when I introduce them to Harry it dawns on her. Her face darkens as she pinpoints who he is.

“Harry is it?” Taz asks. “I’ve never met a Harry I liked.”

Dots looks over at her like she’s grown another head, clued out and assuming I was still here to kiss him.

“Oh well…” Harry looks just as confused at her sudden intensity. “I hope I can change your mind about that?”

“Too late for that,” she nearly spits out. I watch his eyes widen and then go to me. I’m biting back a smile.

“Taz, right you’re Taz.” He sounds like he remembers her.

“And I’m Dots,” Dots repeats. Poor girl was clueless. “We’re just doing a bachelorette thing and YN seemed to think you were cute enough to ditch us right?”

“Really?” Harry takes pleasure in playing along.

“Well no I—ow!” Dots interrupts me by smashing her elbow into me. I sigh. “Right. Yeah. You were irresistible, I had to ditch my friends for a man like you.”

“Sarcasm,” Harry says just low enough for me to hear. He’s smiling.

“YN you should come back,” Taz tries to grab my arm but Dots is like a pro as she cuts that off.

“No we’re just doing the same thing back there. Talking and drinking. You two enjoy. You should give him your number here.” She drops a sharpie in my hand. “Let’s go Taz.”

I try to warn Taz with my expression, please don’t tell anyone I know him. None of these girls knew I went to Ethan’s wedding, it was an embarrassing story on my timeline I didn’t need to share. I didn’t want them to know the story of how I knew Harry.

“Your friends are scary.”

“I guess,” I turn back to him. My drink was nearly empty and I did think it was time to go back. “I should go back to them.”

“Oh,” he looks disappointed.

“What?”

“I thought we were having a nice time.”

“Yeah well we were catching up. And now my drink’s finished and I’m-“

“I can buy you another?”

“I think I’ve had enough. This is our third place on our night crawl so…”

“Fair.” Harry looks at me like he has something to say. I stand there and wait but in the end he just sighs and sits back down.

“Oh yeah I’m going to write my number,” I grab his arm and pull his sleeve up. Holy muscles. “on your arm. If that’s alright?”

“Sure,” he smiles and his dimples make an appearance. It’s boyish, like we’re teenagers exchanging numbers.

I write it down even though he had it, cap the marker, and look up. We’re so close; his eyes flit to my mouth and away so quickly I almost miss it.

“I’ll get this tattooed,” Harry jokes.

“I’ll change my number if you do,” I warn him. He just shrugs like he didn’t believe me and I shake my head, turning back to my friends.

I get back to a group of disappointed women. They give me a hard time and tell me how upset they are that I don’t care about Taz winning. They try to tell me how good we looked together, how I looked with him.

“We’re not leaving until you kiss him,” Felicity says.

“Leave her alone! He smelled like bad news,” Taz says. She was well past drunk now so no one listens to her.

“Ethan was bad news,” Fels states. “This guy is just a random man you can kiss and invite as a plus one. Have some fun with him. Get back into the pool where all the fish are. C’mon YN we know your dating life is shite!”

“Remind me to never get drunk with you lot,” I stare at them. They were scary. “I gave him my number, at least Taz can cross that out!”

“Wait! Harry!” Everyone begins to shout his name as they spot him leaving behind me.

I catch him turning with a wary expression. He points to himself. The girls shout “Yes!” and earn some dirty looks from the other patrons.

He walks up to our table like a sacrifice to an ancient ritual. “You ladies need something?”

“Yes,” a few voices say but Felicity is the loudest. She points to Taz who has her head down on the table. I should check on her.

“See this beautiful creature here? She’s getting married! Married! And we have a scavenger hunt. And she can almost win! But she needs to kiss someone at the bar. But she’s getting married! And you look decent enough to help this bride-to-be! So YN her wonderful friend is helping out. And she chickened out up there. So she wants to kiss you. Does she have your permission?”

“Does she?” He turns to me. God I was helpless with the pressure around me. My eyes lock onto Harry and I hope he can read the help etched into them.

“This is silly,” I tell him. “We don’t need to do this. I don’t think Taz even cares.”

“I don’t!” I guess she was conscious because she lifts her head to answer me. But everyone crowds her out, her cousin actually guides her head back down.

“You owe her a kiss,” Dots says proudly.

“I owe her a lot actually,” Harry says to me. My heart races as we look at each other.

I would be lying if I said the idea of kissing him doesn’t intrigue me. He was attractive! And his facial hair made him more so. But I didn’t want to complicate anything.

What’s there to complicate? I ask myself. It’s not like he’s in your life. Plus maybe this will be the push to start dating again. Kisses are nice right?

“Okay whatever,” I take a step towards him. “It’s not like this means anything. It’s just a kiss.”

A cheer goes up with the group.

Harry drops his bag to the floor and takes the other step to me. “It doesn’t mean anything?”

“No,” I say more to myself. “It’s just a kiss with a guy.”

“Just a kiss with a guy,” Harry repeats. “If you say so.”

His hand reaches up to my neck and he pulls me gently to him, with his height I crane my face up and his warm lips come down on mine exactly how I imagined it would feel. That’s when I realize I had imagined how he would feel. But it’s too late by then.

It feels like hearing music live for the first time, I can suddenly hear every atom of the song. I can feel it, taste it, even smell the soundwaves pounding through the room. That’s what the kiss feels like. Ultrasonic and consuming as hell.

He’s gentle but I can tell he’s holding back with the way his hand grips the back of my head tight. And that sends my senses into overdrive. Even though his moustache is a bit tickly, he was a really good kisser.

When we part, I laugh because I’m nervous but also he has lipstick on his face.

“That was hot,” someone in the group says but we can’t take our eyes off of each other. I’m trying to remember how to breathe and it seems like Harry is doing the same.

“You have-“ I laugh nervously again and reach up to wipe the lipstick from the side of his mouth. This close his pupils are blown out and it only confirms to me that he was holding back. Because he looks like a man who can barely contain himself.

“Uhm,” he finally breaks his gaze to look at all the women staring. “I hope that was satisfactory enough.”

“That was movie worthy,” everyone begins shouting scores out. Some of then fan themselves with the menu. Harry clears his throat, picks up his bag, does an awkward half-bow, and stiffly nods to me.

“G’night YN.”

“Yeah…thanks.” I didn’t know what to say after having the most intense kiss of my life. To Harry. The ex-texter.

“I need some water after that,” Felicity climbs over me out of the booth and I slide in by Taz.

“I’m sorry,” she wraps her arms around my shoulder. “We have really shitty friends.”

“You have amazing friends,” Dots says. “We just broke YN’s dry spell. Did you see that? That was chemistry YN. That was wow. I hope you got his number.”

“I have it,” I sigh.

I decide I was going to drink more. I didn’t want to remember this night anymore.

***

It’s the Friday after and I’m at work, it’s a slow day so I’m scrolling through my phone when a notification pops up.

Hi

It was Harry.

Hi. I text back. I’d been thinking about him a lot this week, about the kiss, and about dating again. I wouldn’t admit it to my friends but it was a reminder that chemistry existed somewhere out there.

I don’t want our whole relationship to be wedding crashing so I want to run something past you.

???

Your friend Felicity invited me to Taz’s wedding. Tomorrow. She said you knew but you haven’t texted me all week so I think she’s setting you up?

I couldn’t believe it. I text Felicity and she responds immediately with a kissy emoji and a tongue sticking out.

I’m sorry I didn’t know, Fels just confirmed. You don’t need to come she’s just on this mission to get me a date.

She said you have a flaky boyfriend?

Oh my god the lie had spread. So embarassing, I was going to strangle Fels.

Really I’m alright. Sorry about that.

I would like to see you again. Even if it’s at a wedding. But I’ll only go if you invite me.

Wow. I read the message another time then put my phone away. What was I supposed to do?

I take my phone into the toilets and call Taz. She picks up, it sounds like she’s in a car.

“Hi you free?”

“Yeah I’m just getting back from the salon, what’s going on?”

I tell her. I tell her it all, the conversation Harry and I had and how I was feeling and what Felicity did.

“That one does not know how to keep her nose out of people’s businesses.”

“I know,” I groan. “I could not invite him and get a million questions from everyone who knows Fels invited him. And I keep him out of my life. Which is fine because I barely know him (even though that kiss felt like I’ve known him for all of eternity). But if I invite him, I’m telling him I’m okay with what he did to me. That we’re okay.”

“YN listen,” she sighs. She says something to someone on her end and I hear a car door close. “Look—sorry just getting in. You’re not that person anymore. I don’t trust him more than you do but just tell him that. So he knows you’re only taking him to get everyone to shut up. Like…use him as a date like he used you.”

“Hm,” that was a good point. “Yeah. That could actually work?”

“Really? I thought I was just saying shite,” Taz laughs. “Okay I really have to go my in-laws are here. Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah you focus on your stuff. I’ll be by this evening.”

“Love you, bye!”

I call Harry immediately after. He doesn’t pick up so I go back to my desk and consider what to text him when he calls back.

“YN I was still in class sorry.”

“Oh god sorry I forgot!” I look at the time. “Sorry I just assumed you were free.”

“No it’s alright,” he answers. “Are you calling about tomorrow?”

“Yeah…” my mouth is suddenly parched. I get up and walk away from where people could hear me. “So, the thing is my friends are giving me a hard time because I don’t have a date and all that. So sort of the way you used me as a date at that wedding, I could use you at this one. Like if would be doing me a favour?” I cringe as the words come out.

“Oh. Sure…yeah if you want.” He sounds…offended?

“Like if we’re being honest we’ve not really spoken since that night. And I have no reason to trust you and whatever. So this is just…”

“Returning the favour.” He puts it simply.

“Yeah? Yeah! Right. Exactly.” Why was this coming out so horribly.

“I get it,” he says. “I’m glad we talked. I’d be happy to be your plus one tomorrow.”

“Perfect,” I find myself smiling.

***

Taz’s wedding is a dream. An absolute dream. I tell her a million times after the ceremony and I gush to her how much I love her and am proud of her during speeches. Her bridesmaids give their toast, and every person who was at the bachelorette makes sure to tease me about bringing Harry who had been nothing but supportive tonight. He stuck to himself when I was doing maid-of-honour duties, and squeezed my hand encouragingly before my speech because public speaking was not my favourite thing. I had to admit it was nice to have someone here just for me. It had been a while.

When Taz told me she got engaged a couple years ago I always thought it would be Ethan by my side. It was weird that Harry was here, because of Ethan, but also the way he came to be here.

“Hi!!” I shout at Harry after doing shots with the bridesmaids. I was officially tipsy but most of the major wedding traditions were over. We were waiting for the cake cutting and bouquet toss and the first dance. And then it was all fun.

“Hi,” he holds out an arm to guide me to my seat.

“I hate these heels,” I unstrap my feet and groan when I put my feet on the bare floor. “That feels sooo good.”

“Hi!” A chirpy voice says to my right. I peek an eye open and groan again, Felicity has joined the table.

“Hi, Felicity right?” Harry says.

“Fels,” she nudges me. “You glad he came?”

“Whatever,” I shrug.

“She’s happy you came,” Fels tries to make up for my rudeness. “She’s not usually this rude.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Harry says. I cut him a look.

“Oh no she’s very nice. She’s just a bit grumpy probably all the maid of honour duties,” she tries to convince a Harry that’s just sharing an inside joke with me. It does something to me.

“It’s okay,” I put a hand on Fels’. “He’s teasing. I’m allowed to be rude to him.”

Harry laughs and Felicity realizes too late she was sitting in on two people that didn’t need her help to get along.

“Well I’m going to find my date, play nice!”

“Nice suit,” I tug at Harry’s lapels once she’s gone. It was nicer than what he wore the last time we met.

“I borrowed it from a friend. I only have one suit and…well you’ve seen it.”

“Teachers don’t wear suits to work?” I tease.

“Thank god no.” His eyes roam over my bridesmaid dress, an off the shoulder sage dress that honestly reminded me of a folky tinkerbell. “You look beautiful.”

“Flattery won’t get you extra points.” I say whilst flattered. The dress had also reminded me of the colour of his eyes when he greeted me today. Now his eyes stay on me all evening.

The announcement for cake cutting goes off so I walk with Harry to watch. Taz looked beautiful in her embroidered dress and she glows even while narrowly missing cake all over her face. Everyone toasts and she readies for a bouquet toss.

“You’re standing here,” Taz’s cousin centres me. “Because there’s no way I’m catching that.”

“I don’t even have a boyfriend,” I say but the other girls crowd me so I stay put. The bouquet is tossed high and I don’t make much of an effort but it glances off the hand in front of me and lands on me. I squish it against me to keep it from falling.

“YN!” My friends tease me and I hold it up in mock excitement. Taz laughs from up front and I go up to hug her, I’m handed another flute of champagne and I toss it back with my best friend.

“YN’s next,” one of the bridesmaid says. “Cheers!”

I get another drink and down it with the girls. I can’t stop laughing about it. I try to look out for Harry to see how he feels about the bouquet but he must be in a darker corner. I don’t spot him.

I refuse the next drink pushed my way and move to my seat as the couple gets ready for their first dance. Harry’s not there but he sits down shortly after I do.

“Look!” I show him the bouquet. “I caught it!”

“I saw,” he smells the flowers. “I got a picture of you.”

“Let me see!” I hold my hand out and wait for him to find it.

“Oh my god,” I laugh as I zoom into my face as the flowers hit me. “Look at my face! And look at her! This is a great pic…” the words die on my lips. I’d accidentally swiped to the camera roll zooming out and I see dozens of photos of me.

“Oh,” Harry takes the phone from me. “Is that creepy? Sorry I was taking photos to send you since you’re busy having fun I-“

I feel tears threaten my makeup and I clench my mouth closed. Despite all the drinks I suddenly feel incredibly sobered.

I take his phone back and swipe through, he recorded my speech and took a million photos of me with Taz. My chin trembles.

“Hey I’m sorry,” Harry takes the phone back. “I didn’t mean to upset you I’ll delete-“

“No!” I stop him. “Don’t. I want all of them.”

“Why are you…” his confusion is all over his face. “Are you upset?”

“No,” I blink away any tears. “Sorry. No. I’m okay! I’m alright.”

It was stupid but Ethan never took photos of me. Even on important days like birthdays, Christmas, holidays. I had a million candid photos of him but I had to beg and remind him for photos of me. Harry took so many without even asking, just because he knew I would want to look back on the memories I was making. It was such a basic thing to do but it felt like the world to me in this moment.

“Thank you.” I say when he doesn’t make a move. “Honestly thank you. Sorry, ignore what my face is saying! But make sure you send every single one okay?”

“Yeah I will,” he promises. He swipes a fallen tear with a gentle smile. I draw back from his touch and use a napkin to dab at my eyes instead.

“YN you know I’m really sorry,” he says just as the first song comes on.

“No I’m fine!” I shift my chair to face the dancefloor. I position it slightly ahead of Harry so he leans forward to speak to me.

“I mean about the other wedding we went to.”

“Yeah I-“ he looks serious so I stop what I was saying. I turn slightly so I can look at him. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Okay,” I smile and turn back to admire the couple but I can sense the emotional turmoil beside me. I push my chair back enough to be side by side with Harry. I lean my head on his shoulder as I watch the married couple dance the first dances of many. When Harry puts his arm around me, his thumb rubs my shoulder. A finger pokes my arm and Dots face pops in beside me to waggle her eyebrows. Was everyone watching me with Harry tonight?!

When the DJ invites everyone else onto the dancefloor I pull Harry up.

“So what was it you were saying?” I ask as we wrap arms around each other.

“I like you a lot YN. A lot. Even when we first met, I started liking you right when you returned my bullshit with sarcasm. You rolled with all my jokes. It was a breath of fresh air.”

I don’t say anything; he had more to say.

“I wish I didn’t do what I did. I sabotaged everything because I was hung up over the wrong girl. And now I’m just a guy to you. A guy you kissed once, I’m just a favour returned.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” I ask.

“Just in case you felt anything, if you thought we could…”

“Harry you lied to me. Embarrassed me. You weren’t a very nice person.”

“I know-“

“I do like this Harry better.”

“Uhm,” he thinks. “Thanks. It’s old Harry, before my life went to hell. Old Harry mixed with some lessons learned. I’m telling you I was at rock bottom when I did what I did.”

“I believe you.” I did.

He sighs in relief. “Thank you.”

We dance quietly for a bit. Until I speak, “I’m trying not to date losers.”

He flexes his jaw, fixating on a spot behind my shoulder.

“I thought you were one,” I tell him honestly. “But I’m not so sure now. But this feels like asking a lot Harry I…”

“You don’t need to respond now,” he urges. “Just think about it.”

“I can’t,” I was terrified of agreeing to a relationship that would hurt me all over again. “I do like you Harry but I don’t know if I can agree to what you want…”

The truth was that Harry was showing me that the glimpses I’d gotten of him throughout the last week were more telling, more consistent than the guy he was when we first met. I was deathly afraid of getting hurt again, and I’m not sure I was willing to take the risk. If that kiss was any indication, I know Harry was telling the truth on his end but I didn’t want a relationship with a guy who started it off by lying.

“I’m-excuse me,” Harry stops mid-dance and walks away. I feel awful but I let him go, watch him disappear to the lobby, and I sit back in my seat. Dots tries to wave me by but I ignore her. The lump in my throat sits heavily and I feel like shit. Especially when a few dances later Harry returns and announces he was going home early. His face is splotchy and it feels awful.

“Are you sure?” I ask him.

“Yeah,” he holds my arm. “Thank you for tonight, and again I’m really sorry about everything.”

I just pull him into a hug, with no words equivalent to what I should say. He squeezes once and lets go.

“Tell Taz thank you for the invite. I’ll see you around.”

“Okay…bye Harry.”

That’s the last I see of him. I head right to the drinks and drink enough to feel okay. I dance with my friends and get as many pictures as my phone can handle in.

At the end of the night I go home to an empty flat and drunkenly download all the dating apps I swore off of. Swiping through like a catalogue, by the time I wake up the next morning I’m well on my way back to the dating scene.

***

I stare at the man in front of me. His profile on the app was exactly the kind of guy I was looking for. And he’d actually made me laugh a few times tonight which was a bonus. But something feels like it’s missing—they all have this last month as I became a serial dater. I was really putting myself out there but nobody made it past date two.

“So how about heading out?” He asks after the bill.

“Yeah! Sure,” I grab my purse and we walk out. He grabs my hand as we step out.

“Want to share a ride?”

“Are we going to the same place?” I ask.

“If you want,” he pulls my hand and places it on his shoulder. He was cute, I could kiss him.

And I do, but it’s just a kiss. Just two mouths kissing. I don’t feel the spark, or the passion.

“Actually,” I pull away. “I forgot I have an early morning meeting so I think I should behave and head home by myself.”

“Oh,” he looks disappointed. “Well maybe we can do something on Friday?”

“Yeah I’ll text you?”

He pecks my lips, “Sounds good.”

I get a car and as I drive away from the date my hands stray to my lips. I remember another kiss, and then I slam the door shut on it. You can’t keep comparing all your kisses to that one!

Except the thing about telling my mind not to think about something, I do. I think about Harry, and question myself like I have been ever since the wedding if I made the wrong choice. Did I push him away too quickly, out of fear? Am I protecting myself or just scared?

I open the text exchange between us like I do weekly and hover my fingers over the keyboard. What do I say? What could I say?

I scroll to the top of the conversation and find his address and plug it into my phone. I was 18 minutes away.

“Excuse me could I change the drop off?” I ask the taxi driver. “I had a change of plans.”

He asks me where and he knew the area enough to take the left and head in that direction.

That was very impulsive. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that?

Adrenaline courses through my body as I pray that he still lived in the same place. What was I going to say?

My leg bounces up and down as I stare out the window, biting down on my lip. This was stupid, I made him bloody cry the last time I saw him. Then again I cried the time before that. Were we equal? Was I twisted enough to think this could all work?

I nearly jump out of the taxi after paying and walk to the front door. Of course, you needed a key card.

With shaking fingers I call Harry.

“Hello?”

I freeze. He was out, the sounds of people and music give that away.

“YN? Is that you?”

I was so stupid! Why did I do this?

“YN?” Now Harry sounds worried. I take a deep breath.

“Sorry! Wrong number. I meant to call som-“

“YN are you alright? Is everything okay?”

The background noise disappears. He must have stepped out.

“Yes sorry to worry you!” I squeak. “Everything’s fine.”

“Why did you call?” He asks as I ask “What are you doing right now?”

We laugh. Harry tells me, “You first.”

“It was an accident…”

“Oh well…a good accident.” I can hear his smile through the phone. “I was just grading final tests at my local pub.”

His local pub…that meant he was close by. I think. My heart picks up speed. “Oh! Is that something you do often?”

“Yeah some of these papers remind me why I’m quitting this job. So I drink to get through them.”

“Giving up on the youth of tomorrow?” I ask. I spot a bench a little ways away and head to it, next to a bike rack.

“Yes!” Harry laughs. “They’ve given up on me too. They’s all assholes nobody listens to me.”

“I would’ve liked to have you as a teacher,” I go for flirting. “None of my grade school teachers were good looking. I could’ve used a distraction.”

“So you’re admitting that I’m good looking,” Harry says just as I spot him heading to his door.

“Yeah in your grey t-shirt, I think so.”

I watch as he whips his head around and scans the area until he spots me.

“I lied,” I get up and wave at him. “I came by to see you but I was embarrassed when you weren’t home.”

“Why-“ his voice sticks. “Why did you come to see me?”

“Well,” by now we’re close enough that I could shout to him but I still use the phone. “I thought about what I said that night and I think I was too harsh.”

“And?” Harry stares at me as I walk up to him.

“And I want to believe that a second impression can be just as important as a first.”

He’s alight in a second, hope injected into his features. I stop a few feet away from him.

“I’ll take that. I’ll take it.”

“Okay,” I move in closer, lowering my phone. My eyes are on his lips and I don’t care that how badly I want to kiss him is plain as day. Because in the moment he reaches for me I know he wants this just as bad.

My mind is wiped clean when he kisses me—I kind of hate myself of a month ago for denying me of this all this time.

It’s indecent, the way we kiss out there. When my mind returns to my body I push him away, flushed and nervous.

“Should we take this up to your place?”

“Why? Are you getting shy?” He teases.

“Your neighbours are getting free entertainment,” I’m out of breath as I talk and this seems to make Harry smile even harder. He presses a hard kiss to me and then leads me by the hand up to his flat. We’re on each other with every pause we take, it’s gross and unlike me but I’m just too happy to stop. The spark, the passion, everything I’d been looking for is here.

“Can I uh,” Harry closes the door behind us as I continue kissing him, my lips finding any part of him. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure,” I watch him unbutton my cardigan. “I’ll take a tall glass of whatever you’re serving.”

He smirks and pulls me back in. I jump when he tells me to and he carries me to wherever his bedroom is. I’m barely in the right state of mind to notice anything as I get lost in us. In the way his hands hold me, and the way his moustache feels on my skin. Maybe it’s been a while or maybe it was him but having this after so long makes it taste sweeter than it ever had.

***

“Happy six months,” Harry wraps his arms around me from behind. I’m making us coffee, we were up especially early because we were making the trip to see Harry’s family for the holidays. Usually this is when I went to Taz’s but this year she’d urged me to spend the time with my boyfriend’s family.

She’d been suspicious when I first told her about Harry. But when she saw how happy I was she’d given it her blessings (and I’m pretty sure threatened Harry with some dismemberment). I hadn’t had a big Christmas in a while, and Harry said he had more family coming into town. I was nervous to meet so many new people, people that meant a lot to Harry. But he assured me everyone would love me.

“Happy six month,” I reach up to peck his lips and settle against him. He hums as he tightens his arms around me. I couldn’t believe this was my life now, I was happier than I ever dared to think I could be. I never knew a relationship could be so complementing, so grounding.

Despite our rocky start, that Harry and I had discussed in depth when we first started dating, we were mostly smooth sailing. The way I saw it we met as two damaged people. Somehow we parted from there and ran like parallel lines until we were straightened out enough to meet again. And now we ran together as a pair of lines.

“I’m so lucky,” Harry presses a kiss to my temple, thinking the same thing I had been. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world YN. You make me the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Then that would make me Mrs. Luckiest-Guy-in-the-World,” I joke as I turn in his embrace.

“I’d like that,” he strokes my cheek. “I’m excited to introduce you to everyone tonight.”

“That makes one of us.”

“YN I promise there’s nothing to be nervous about. They already love you because they know you’re the reason I’ve been so…me.”

I swallow the ball of emotion in my chest. We were both just us around each other. No fuss, no pretending. Just us. It wasn’t something I could share with my own family, they barely knew what I was really like. Harry had met my parents separately when they were in town a couple months ago. They’d liked him, but they also liked Ethan so it wasn’t saying much.

“I trust you,” I hold his face in my hands. “Fine.”

“Good,” his hand rubs my back. He pulls me into his chest, crushing me against him until the coffee goes off.

“Thanks love,” Harry says as I hand him a mug.

We chat about nothing as we take our coffees to the couch where we sit snuggled. I feel safe here, it’s a good feeling, a feeling that felt so overwhelmingly new sometimes that it made me want to cry. Which always made Harry laugh.

“I can’t wait to spend this new year together,” I tell him.

“Me too,” his lips press softly onto my temple. “I’m finally excited about the future. I’m doing a job I like and dating a woman I love.”

“I’m happy for us.” I smile up at him.

We sit snuggled on the couch as we sip our morning coffee. I savour everything about this moment.

With Harry life was stable, it was good. I knew I would never pick up my phone and find a text so life-shattering like the ex-text had done to me; I know it was impossible to predict the future but somehow I could tell you that I had a good feeling about it.

———————————

TAGLIST: @tiaamberxx @cherryshouse

[gotchibam]

Just wanna say I finally updated the trello queue for the ko-fi doodle requests! Sorry it took so long but also thank you sm for being patient w/ me ;_;

[atlas-five]

if anyone has any pleasant TMA discord servers I'd love to know

[ask-richard-jackdaw]

Richard,

I hope you don't mind, but I happened upon you deep in thought in the castle courtyard and...well, the sight took my breath away.

I used a Muggle contraption (I believe they call it a camera) to capture these still images. You look almost corporeal...

E 🖤

E, my dear,

I am most intrigued by this Muggle contraption, and even more so — by how well you were able to capture me and my heart with it. And what a coincidence! I must admit, I had no idea that anybody was there at the time as I was most likely preoccupied with matters regarding me... Well, you said it yourself, looking corporal. If you have the time, allow me to explain.

You see, for the past two weeks I have been experimenting with something known as ancient magic. I cannot really see it but I can feel it when I am somewhere near the source, and I can really feel it if I touch it. If I spend plenty of time doing just that and focusing on being corporal — I seem to become so! Well, whatever part of me is surrounded by magic anyway.

That photo you took — I believe it was the first time that I have attempted to fully step into the stream of magic a day or two ago. The reason I needed to conduct some experiments first is rather serious as well: when the magic starts sipping away (and it never holds for longer than one day) I... Well, I am yet to find a way to make the transition back to my ghostly form less painful. As much as I was craving to feel, I forgot that pain is an integral part of life as well.

Needless to say that as fun as being able to be me again was, by the time I walked all the way back to the castle in my human form (and I got lost so many times since I could not just fly above the land toward the castle, oops) I was so tired that I just fell asleep on a bench somewhere near that area your camera captured me. When I woke up — I was a ghost again. At the very least, whatever pain I might have gone through that night, I slept through it.

I do hope that you are doing well, my darling. The sight of me should not be taking your breath away but instead making your heart beat and your soul soar. I hope you continue working on those still images because I did not get a chance to look at myself in the mirror that night. You are my only witness and I am honoured to have you share that special moment with me.

Thinking of you, always,

Richard Jackdaw

P. S. May I hope that someday I would be granted permission to call you by your proper name, my lady E?

[lloydfrontera]

actually kind of insane they chose that art style for cpsm now that i think about it. like. i'm not complaining at all. but these are the faces i'm gonna have to look at be physically and psychologically tortured in the latter half of the plot:

and i'm not sure i'm emotionally ready for that. why they gotta make them that cute. it's gonna make it hurt even more later on.

[jordan-the-pious]

Hatsune Miku save our souls from this fucking Wattpad writing I swear Jordan and blair (<- wrong name and I don’t care) make me question on what the hell I am reading

That is not Miku-sama's job.

:OOC:

im going to take a moment to talk about this, because this ask has been sitting in my box, because I didn't want to be mean in my response, but I'm just going to say whats on my mind anyway

i cant tell if this was meant to be like,,,, a joke? like a haha funny dig funny joke but like?

respectfully, if you dont want to read my shit, then don't. i am not running this account for any of you, I'm running it because I think its fun. i am having fun and I want to keep having fun

briar admin and i are friends. weve known each other for a while outside of this little roleplay sphere. i want to have a fun time with my friend, playing pretend on the internet

if you dont want to read my "fucking wattpad writing" then don't. no ones forcing you to. not me, not briar admin, no one. so what if I wrote like that? who gives a shit? if you dislike it so much that you purposefully spelt Briars name wrong and its making you "question on what the hell you are reading", then go read something else

[inuki-ki]

something experimental based on this illustration by Al Parker :]

[teruel-a-witch]

as i'm waiting for my new tablet to arrive i'm reminded why i don't shop online ever and hate paying in advance for something i haven't been able to hold in my hands yet.

it's starting to seem like it won't arrive before my birthday tomorrow so i am officially livid. i specifically picked a store that wasn't far away and promised delivery on the 28 at the earliest but it looked like they only shipped it on the 28th judging by the status 😒 the one time I order a gadget online instead of going directly to a store and this happens. birthday officially ruined.